#and like im a hard leftist. but i just do not care. so long as they arent a massive right winger or a creep im fine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wonderbutch · 4 months

Text

genres and bands i listen to and how i got into them: an entirely too long useless list i made instead of sleeping

celtic punk

shoutout to the genre ever? i grew up listening to celtic punk literally since i was born. my dad sucks but his music taste does not. this genre is 32% responsible for my leftist punk attitude, which is ironic if you know anything about my father.

- the dropkick murphys: first band i can ever remember hearing. as a toddler i called them “the bastards”. still a favourite forever and everrr. their newish album “this machine still kills fascists” fucks HARD. the band will forever be a formative reminder of my working class upbringing in a miners family

- the rumjacks: late nights and early mornings in my dads car introduced me to this band. i really will tell me ma when i get home and i wont feel guilty about it

- paddy and the rats: one of the only celtic punk bands i actually discovered on my own. in 2018 i went on a sailing ship for a week and that got me rlly into celtic punk again LMAO. this band is so fucking good

emo/pop punk

i was 13 and tbh it was a phase but i still love listening to fob and mcr and sws

- my chemical romance: unironically i think i got into them through band memes

- fall out boy: literally just thru scrolling through youtube when i was 12

- [REDACTED]: [REDACTED]

- sleeping with sirens: this band shaped me as a person. kellin quinn the original gender envy. ohhh i miss this band sm

- all time low: a kid in my class in year 7 introduced me to all time low and ill remember him forever for it. hope youre well, jaiden.

- la dispute: got to see them live last year after @starcam413 got me into them! theyre kinda more screamo like sws but not in the same way as sws but definitely emo too

- set it off: this band is still SO GOOD. so fucking good oh my god. truly the fucking era

- the score: i was a greek mythology nerd as a kid (its my major now!) of course i listened to the score. i miss being 13 and listening to the score on youtube on my laptop at 3am so bad

folk punk

celtic punk and folk punk are very related, and i grew up listening to bands like the pogues and the violent femmes. is it really any wonder how i ended up Like This

- the violent femmes: as a child my dad would play country death song in the car. yes i am mentally ill and have daddy issues can you blame me????? (the song is literally about killing your daughter and then offing yourself)

- toby foster: really one of my proper introductions to the genre and what ultimately led me to discover bands like ajj and pat the bunny. found him on youtube through his song tennessee. i was 13 i think?

- pat the bunny: after toby foster i was completely hooked on the genre and of course ended up listening to the king himself, pat the bunny. your heart is a muscle the size of your fist is such a comfort song to me even now. it sucks he no longer makes music but im very happy he got sober!

- schmekel: im trans and punk of course i listen to schmekel. fantastic trans and jewish band that helped me a lot with my transness as a young teen

- mal blum: im counting his music as folk punkish, sue me. no idea how i got into them either. their song new years eve is the song i listen to on repeat every single new years eve, and i have yet to change this tradition. Help Me.

- the front bottoms: I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. THEIR EARLIER ALBUMS ARE FOLK PUNK AS HELL. genuinely my favourite band ever. i can’t remember how i got into them but is how i ended up friends with @starcam413 (hi jon!)

- she/her/hers: sooo formative to me when i was 15/16 struggling with being trans.

- harley poe: ohh i love this guy so fucking much. why do i relate so much to a middle aged divorced man????

- days n daze: one of the most popular folk punk bands so i mean. Duh. sooo good i love them.

punk

- the sex pistols: listen. listen to me LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN. i dont even fucking like this band. in fact i despise it. but because my dad is an idiot, he loves this band and played it a lot when i was a kid.

- the queers: i think i heard them on a spotify playlist last year? big fan.

- the muslims: i believe this was recommended to me on reddit?? amazing black and brown queer band, i love it a lot

- tribe 8: im a lesbian with a complicated gender identity of course i listen to tribe 8. trans queer punk band that i listened to a lot when i was like 15 i think

- against me!: listened to them a lot when i was 15

new wave/post punk

got into this genre in 2022 and Hella into it late last year. blame paper girls brainrot.

- devo: got into them in 2022 thanks to an online friend hi ira 🌀 theyve never made a single bad song

- the cure: once again my dad showed me a lot of the cure when i was a kid and getting into music

- blondie: ….have you seen the batman and harley quinn movie….please dont make me say more. the first cassette in my collection is from this band!

- new order: one of my favourite bands right now. like most things for the last three years of my life, i got into this band because of a comic book. the tv adaption of paper girls features two new order songs and it got me absolutely hooked on this band.

rock/all that shit??

- danzig: once again you can blame paper girls for this

- bon jovi: also paper girls. i am obsessed with jon bon jovi’s hair in the 90s. gender envy as fuck

- queen: when i was 14 i found my grandpas mp3 player from the 2000s, he was a big fan of queen. i ended up putting all my music on the mp3 player and ive used it every single day since.

- billy joel: i was raised by my grandmother of course i listened to billy joel. played a lot on our old radio with my nans ipod when i was a kid. apparently my nan isnt even a big fan of him so i guess he was only formative to me lol????

indie

probably one of my most listened to genres just because. i have no reason. ive come to realise that most of my indie music taste is stolen from aura.

- girl in red: shoutout to discovering im a lesbian in 2017/2018 and to my best friend @vampoholica for introducing me to girl in red

- bastille: i love bastille sm icarus is such a good song and as a greek mythology kid i was so obsessed. bad blood youll always be famous to me

- mitski: oguhfhgh i dont know how i got into mitski but good lord. literally life changing.

- the smiths: fuck morrissey. i think this too was aura’s fault and i forgive them bc i love the smiths

- chloe moriondo: ahh the youtube ukulele era how i miss you

- alex g: i can’t remember how i got into alex g but i got into his music in 2022 and now im obsessed and unwell about him

- adrienne lenker: again this is aura’s fault and i am so fine with that. music sooo devastating it makes u wanna throw up and sleep forever

- elliott smith: i started listening to him because of simon vs the homo sapiens agenda

okay thats it thank u for reading this stupid post lol

#music #music genres #bands #emo #folk punk #new wave #post punk #celtic punk #punk

21 notes · View notes

davekat-sucks · 6 months

Note

Been thinking about HS2, as you do. And to be honest, I have no idea how we got here. I mean I know a bunch of shit happened to Hussie over the debacle of the game. But how did we get to HS2. Like, it hates you. HS2 reads like it hates the reader, it hates homestuck, it hates the reader for enjoying homestuck. I would call it misery porn, but even misery porn has some sort of catharsis. Some kind of release. HS2 does not. Its just an anon telling you to kill yourself, over and over for the length of the Epilogue and HS2 up to this point. The former team members, are allegedly, the progressive leftist type, yeah? So why did they decide to kill Rosemary, the fandoms pet lesbian ship? The one thing that would get thousands of screeching people telling you to kill yourself if you dared ship rose or kanaya with anyone other then themselves? Why did they make so many characters act out of character, why kill so many? Why introduce so many uncomfortable kinks? Why did they make dog dick jade canon? And call it the trans rep? Aint these people supposed to be allies? Supposed to care about the LGBTHDTV+? Supposed to be part of the alphabet people themselves? How? Why? Spite? It certainly seems so. HS2 seems like it was written from a place of spite, just sheer derision for the material and the author. Maybe Hussie planned this, maybe he hated his own creation and the fans of it, maybe the team did this of their own volition? I dont know, I doubt we ever will. How can Roach write the story like this? I dont know too much about him. I dont have a reason to trust him, but I dont have a reason to distrust him either. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, Id say that he's passionate about Homestuck and wants to bring it to a good place, but how do you do that? How do you bring something from a place of sheer hatred into a place of passion? Without retcons or denouncing the things that came before? I have no doubt that he's under NDA's out the ass, probably has some "non slander" clauses in his contract as well, since you obviously just cant bad mouth the previous team, even if they deserve it. Still, I am just at a sheer loss of how the comic can be turned around with this development. I know Im going to be following it, is it possible for an IP to give you Stockholm Syndrome? Because no matter how bad Homestuck gets, I cant give it up. Theres still more blood and bodies to be found in this train wreck. I dunno, sorry for the rant, but you're really the only other blogger I feel I can vent shit about homestuck towards. Lots of the people I knew before dropped out, or I lost contact when my first blog got obliterated.

It's alright. I know what you mean and have similar feelings as well about all this. There are other fandoms and interests that have similar cases of going back to your abusive lover because you had liked what they were before. Just look at comic book fans, Disney fans, Pokemon fans, RWBY fans, etc. Homestuck's case is that the effort to contribute anything to it is just tiring. Other series have similar themes of nihilism and dark topics. But the fans there are able to make great fan works despite such depressing tone. Was it because the execution of those lets audiences have a choice to give a better outlook on things while Homestuck denies us this? Maybe. It's hard to pinpoint where had it all gone wrong or why it still continuing. Even if somehow Roach is able to salvage it, the damage has been done that it will take a long long time to really forgive and forget. Though with the downward spiral of this current generation, they'll probably be lucky to rope in new fans to enjoy that small high before they move on to something new and better.

#Homestuck #Homestuck fandom #HOM3STUCK #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck2 #HS2 #HS^2 #Homestuck Beyond Canon #Homestuck Epilogues

15 notes · View notes

6irlpet · 2 years

Note

As a sub, your posts have helped me so muuch to be more comfortable and gently exposed to some hardcore kinks. Ive become much more open and less judgemental to them, even accepting im into some of them. A loooot of the harcore kink blogs on here are mysoginistic (as a kink), mainly for men or BY men, so this blog is rlly nice to have a space that doesnt gross me out. So far ive been inspired by you to explore my stockholm syndrome kink and also my ponyplay kink (even tho you dont have posts about it, you post a lot of petplay and that helped). Love u take care <3

ok serious non horny talk for a moment!!

first im sorry for sitting on this ask so long, i wanted to give it a good answer and then i uhhh forgot because i’m awful.

but this made me very very happy and glad and idk kink is something im really passionate about, i think there is so much harmful puritan socially regressive rhetoric out there even among proclaimed leftists saying porn and harder kinks is bad and like…. its not cool! its not feminist! ur not doing activism by shaming people for stuff u dont like! sexuality is normal and natural and there is nothing wrong with exploring these things safely, and i actually think doing so can be such a good healthy self exploratory experience of intimacy and bonding. especially kink and d/s, getting to explore sensation and psychological/emotional side instead of like, ‘sex is for procreation anything outside the accepted mainstream norm is deviant this mindset totally hasn’t caused harm historically’

it’s very hard sometimes to have these hardcore kinks, i spent years trying to deny i was into them, believing that things like cnc/cgl/porn in general were harmful, and its just not true. it’s always existed and it’s always going to exist and if we try to shame things and sweep them into the dark, ppl dont stop being into them, they just end up losing community and practicing unsafely. no one has to be into harder stuff, but the nastiness about it (sooo many times ppl will reblog a post of mine and i go to their blog to see like, ‘ddlg is abusive and ur a freak dni’ like Ok. dni with me first?) and saying that being into these things means ur into rape/csa irl is just untrue and so harmful (again, just forcing ppl to feel ashamed, practice unsafely, and lack community to come forward when theyve been harmed by a play partner) like if people can understand why violent video games doesnt make you a violent person, the only thing stopping them from understanding the same about harder kinks and porn is internalized reactionary christian bullshit lol.

i spent years thinking these kink were gross and “problematic” and im so much happier accepting that actually…. u can just let people do things! u dont have to like things!! u can blacklist it u dont have to make an excuse why its inherently bad!!!!! i used to have such bad sub drop even solo masturbating bc of guilt/shame for my hardcore fantasies, i’ve had to learn how to give myself good aftercare and tell myself its normal and fine and ppl who matter dont care (and its true! i have a v supportive group of friends, some that i play with, who know what im into and dont care even tho theyre not into it!!!) so hearing that ive helped you feel more comfortable exploring these things has made me v happy :’)

and that being said, like u said, theres definitely an overwhelming amount of hardcore kink on here that cis men run that just, feels gross to me. they reek of Fake Dom™️, they don’t care about kink and consent, they just wanna use u to get off and neglect the emotional side of the connection. and for a looong while i put up with it thinking it’s just what these kinks were like. that i had to have a degree of discomfort forcing interactions with men and misogyny play. but it’s not! i ended up remaking from my old blog and making this one because there were so many of those types of men following me and sending me asks/msgs and it was getting so bad for my mental health.

and fine, whatever, but i wanted to have a space that was exploring these kinks for femmes, for trans people, like im writing for me and ppl like me, who like the things i do. and im much happier for it (and i still have to block like 50-100 blogs every time i log in here, and had to turn DMs off bc i was getting so many from the 40M Greg Ohio Sadistic Daddy blogs full of stolen content despite my pinned. demonstrating some real great understanding of consent there huh guys /s)

anyway. im very very happy to get this message and im glad that my lil horny ramblings can be appreciated in such a way. not only are we okay for liking extreme stuff but we’re also extremely fucking cool and sexy. have a good night 😘

#ask #sorry for longpost but ahhhhgghh my Thoughts about kink #and my fuckin past with having to remake blogs bc there was no recovering it #THIS blog is a party babyyyy we are beating gender’s ass and indulging gross kinks #a lot of my posts r purposely gender neutral for this reason!#Thoughts #that will be a tag for if i ever get serious again. hopefully i do not

59 notes · View notes

calamitydaze · 2 years

Note

Ro Ramdin video out ! At the halfway mark and it's. Pretty okay.

alright, i finally watched it! goddamn you guys weren’t lying that was a heavy hitter. tldr below the cut since it was an Hour of pretty dense commentary so even the summary is long, but i very much recommend watching it in full

i liked it a lot! i’ve never watched her content before before but ro is funny as hell and it was a very well put together and engaging video. i really appreciated the balance she struck between being firm and empathetic, and that she took care to separate criticism of dream from criticism of his fanbase. i took some issues with the first half, mainly in the misinformation department (not super important, but quite a few little things that i felt were incorrect/lacking in detail/misrepresented), and i think it was a flaw to so heavily lean on data taken from a survey you had to dm her to get. i don’t blame her for that though, inaccuracies are to be expected when talking about a community she’s not part of and given how quickly she made this video i can understand relying on secondhand accounts instead of really diving in herself

the second half is where it really cuts deep and i found it SO refreshing for someone to actually look into why and how dream’s fandom came to be the way that it is instead of just endless criticism and talking down to them. i especially enjoyed the section where she talked about how insular and reactionary and hard to reach dream stans are, not because they hate everyone else but because everyone hates them. it’s something i’ve thought for over a year and when i saw her put it so eloquently i was like YES!!!! i said before i watched it that i’m pretty self-aware about my parasociality and why i feel the way i do, and i still like to think i’m not super guilty of her main critiques, but even then it honestly left me with a lot to think about and reassess. particularly the point about how stans seek reassurance from each other to get the moral green light to keep being in the community— it both hit me like “oh shit. i do that” and felt a little close to home in some of the asks i’ve been answering. i’m more than happy to continue comforting people and fostering a less hostile (and hopefully more balanced) discussion, but i hope people don’t see me as some sort of moral compass that tells you it’s okay to still watch dream. i’ve tried to be clear that it’s just a discussion and you should come to a personal conclusion that feels moral and comfortable to you AND THIS FEELS VERY SELF-IMPORTANT IM SORRY but i wanted to say it

so yeah! good video, it was sad to see how nervous ro was to upload it but from what i know the response has been positive so i hope she’s doing well. definitely worth a watch, i’d love to have a conversation with her tbh

tldr:

- even though the twitlonger was an off-the-cuff response, the repeated focus on how the allegations are “harmful to real victims” feels insincere and misdirecting

- the “gorgeous as fuck” snapchat is enough for her to deem the situation inappropriate and heavily question whether he’s handling his fanbase in a responsible manner

- survey takers were overwhelmingly neurodivergent and queer (and about 1/2 and 1/4 trans and poc respectively) and that might be a reason why people stay even if the community becomes toxic, because it’s still a safe space in that regard that’s hard to find elsewhere

- she talked about how self-isolated dream fans are in comparison to most fandoms as a result of continuous harassment and ridicule, and how this creates an “us against the world” mentality that makes it even harder to see when potential misdeeds occur

- the thing she most takes issue with about the fandom is the seeming lack of personal values that people hold above all else, aside from basic leftist stances on things like race and war

- when levied against other fans, accusations of racism and sexual harassment are an insta-block but creators get a grace period, because the space they take up in our lives is larger— but the more you sacrifice your personal values to get permission to continue enjoying a thing the easier it gets to keep doing it

#bella answers #anon #dream.situation

22 notes · View notes

stomp-that-ho-regard · 2 years

Text

(same anon) nah I agree. I really hope the i/modga gang gets a win if only to rub it in b/y fans' faces that just for once, for once they weren't reading into things and weren't delusional and wrong and making things up like it went last time. tha just for ONCE maybe... they were right. I really hope they get that.

it just feels like a futlile fight ykno? like these people have constantly over and over broken ur spirit how can u still have faith in them? like I really hope they get to gloat about im/odna I really do bc it would be such a catharsis for b/j as well esp fans who were... dare I say, brave enough to stick around for c3. even now as they are constantly ridiculed by the rest of the fandom. I would like for the im/odna fans to be able to gloat. to not have to prelude every sentence with a disclaimer or like constantly be misinterpreted and mocked by the Meta-writing Centrists Central and their entire posse. while I find it hard to ever even look in c/R's general direction, I really hope im/odna gang scores a win. they are long overdue.

(same anon) I just read mircallablue's ask and I gotta say I agree on every point tbh. imo/dna being the b/j apology is not a hill I'd die on bc at the end of the day, c/r really does NOT care enough. I run w it being an attempt at b/j apology bc not in a "we care abt the fans" way but more in a "ok we cant have our characters romance in this campaign anymore bc too much controversy and we've settled the pairings into het, lesbian couple for hets AND tragic mlm we will only 'confirm' on twitter.. I guess we can come up w a shared backstory thingy for c3" way.

two things I did learn frm ur ask tho is

a) brian got fired which is news to me but ur 100% correct it's for the brand image more than anything else lol

b) im/ogen glasses discourse sounds insane I was not aware of it and ur correct tho. if they knew of THAT then 100% they know of all the whitewashing racism harrassment all of it. and explicitly chose to pretend they do not see it so they don't have to acknowledge it. its so vile. they want the right wing money as well as the liberals money and cannot alienate their fanbase bc that's two halves of it.

anyway, correct opinions all around both of you, is what I wanted to add. what boils my blood I suppose is c/r is going to continue to get away with it *and* be hailed as premiere leftist media only because they were the joss whedon brand of feminists™ in early 2000s and continue to built their brand off that image to this day.

I don’t know about that. It’s hard to keep a lid on problematic elements. It always eventually comes out in the wash. Especially with how many more eyes are on them now as compared to just a few years ago. I think the only reason they have (and might continue to, at least for a little while) been able to escape serious scrutiny or scandals is mainly because of their army of sycophants. They have now built up a reputation for being crazy (someone on twitter once said they’re as bad as the S/tar Wars fandom.)

(Have a look at the rant thread by LuchaLibris too. It was a good one.)

At some point (if we’re not already there), people will be too scared to publicly criticize CR (and I don’t mean a tweet or a Tumblr post, I mean articles). And judging by CR’s failure to intervene whenever shit hits the fan, I’m pretty sure they like it this way.

#op #ask #2 asks 1 post #one anon

2 notes · View notes

gemsofthegalaxy · 2 years

Text

okay normally i dont watch Q & As from youtubers that i like and watch on the regular because. well, while i'm not immune to parasociality i do think im slightly less prone to it than the general youtube watching population? because generally i dont care about the personal life or knowing details about them beyond what is relevant to what they're doing in the videos? i like to see the Content, the opinions on media, the sewing tutorial, what they're researched and experienced with this sunscreen or whatever yknow.

but i'm watching Noah Samsen's because it was part of a video on leftist youtube and apparently thats what im doing today and his very fast deadpan style is funny- for example, he's just been answering questions like "do you like hot dogs" and "why do you have a moustache" but out of nowhere he put the question "what is your opinion on co-op businesses versus the regular shareholder structure" and just the fact that it was slot in to this long string of innocuous questions had me laughing so hard.

1 note · View note

crowshapedvoid · 3 years

Text

g*d i think a lot of problems online/in leftist spaces etc is that people (specifically privileged ppl) don't realize it's not about them

like,,, if you were once a bad person/fucked up in some way,, i don't personally care. obv if the people you hurt don't want anything to do w you, stay the fuck away from them. i don't care if you think you're better now, no one has to interact w you no matter what

but i don't (personally) care about your past mistakes as long you are focused on helping people and listening to how you can improve

there are sm people who will see a post that says (for ex) "non-queer ppl can/are encouraged to rb but do not clown/comment" and the replies and rbs will b fill w people saying stuff like "whats wrong with straight ppl?? so we're not allowed to have opinions now" or "im not queer but-" and like shut up!!! Shut Up!!! Shut! Your! Up!!

It's not about you

like,, you want to b a better person?? okay then prove it.

start by apologize to those you hurt and then shut up and do stuff to help!!

listen to people (esp those you hurt/targeted) and work to improve yourself!!

being a good person is hard work and if you want to be seen as one you should start by putting in the work to become one!!

like if youve ever gone to a protest, you know that you're not important on your own and it's not abt you. you're there are as a group in order to make change and improve ppl's lives (hopefully)!!

idk just stop thinking abt yourself as the main character pls

you're important as an individual and you should form your own opinions on things based on the information you receive but if you aren't affected by smth maybe you should listen to the people who are affected and let them lead the conversation

#discourse #vega rants #okay to rb but i don't want this post to get huge bc its prob not the best worded post #i know im not always the best at this so it's important to get a reminder every now and then #everyone wants to b seen as a good person and they don't always put in the effort #this obv isnt abt everyone #but if i said that in the main post ppl would probs latch onto it in order to excuse themself #also if this is too noisy for you i can provide a less loud version #i just have trouble getting through posts like w/out interesting stuff on the words #long post #ask to tag

6 notes · View notes

loveisbraveandwild · 3 years

Note

I... I have to give credit where credit is due cause you are literally part of my political awakening lol

So I used to be very right-wing/libertarian leaning like I strongly just wanted the govt out of everyone’s lives. I wasn’t keen on trump tbh but I excused him and liked that he challenged “political correctness” or whatever the fuck. I wanted rand Paul in 2016 but lol 😒 if I could’ve voted I probably would’ve voted LP. I’m bi so LGBT rights have always been so important to me and like I legit had problems with both sides but I think as trump got into office and whatever it pushed so many libertarians more to the authoritarian right. And like idk I used to believe that whole shtick like “oh we don’t need the equality act I don’t want to work for a homophobic employer, people should be able to fire anyone” like??? I realize how dumb it is now and how you just need these laws in place for protection but I just didn’t get it then

But you had these open discussion nights and those are so good. You opened my mind to what a leftist was like bc the conservative pundits I used to follow used to be like “ahh the left is always so triggered, they don’t want to debate, they don’t want freedom of speech”... like I half expected you to never publish my asks or just respond to them with sarcasm or whatever but you actually have me arguments and I had to sit there and be like “huh well now wtf”. I remember vividly this was when the 2020 race had just gotten down to trump v biden and I sent you an ask like “biden sucks just as much lol” and you were like... “Um no” and you actually provided me evidence??? As time went on I decided I was going to vote biden just bc of the horrendous way trump handled COVID. But you literally helped me move along that path and I wanna say thank you

Now I have no idea where I am on the political spectrum but like I literally support universal health care and other leftist policies and I just feel... free. Like idk I was just always so full of hate and anger - maybe even repressed anger toward myself bc it hasn’t been until recently I’ve accepted my sexuality. I just feel so much more at peace and more like I’m actually fighting for something lol. But still I just think it’s great that you actually challenge people that come in your ask box and lmao believe me I know it’s annoying but it’s like... if you want to move people to your cause, you have to talk to them and you can’t be flippant and rude Bc then it supports their narrative. Idk I just think you’re doing a great thing :) and I always wanted to say this to you but I never had time to write this thing up lol. But thank you 😊

omg anon this literally brought tears to my eyes. thank you so much for taking the time to write this and share this with me!!! firstly, im very proud of you for learning to accept yourself and your sexuality. i can imagine it’s been a very hard, long journey but you’re doing it and thats brave!! secondly, im so glad you see and my blog as a place you can come and learn and discuss. sometimes i am blunt and im often worried that im being rude and sometimes i definitely am, but im glad to know that you find this a safe space and that you recognize im doing my best to educate! i love this space because im constantly learning and it feels like such a safe space for me to ask questions, too. also very very very glad you went from being a potential trump supporter to a biden supporter!

#Anonymous

9 notes · View notes

misterbitches · 3 years

Text

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

2 notes · View notes

chikkou · 4 years

Note

hi anya! not the same anon. someone posted a good google docs resources in ur replies but wanted to make sure u saw: docs.google /document/u/1/d/1_ef5kHPvQRkR_cgGlJvMZY0EWGiy8MXZAOvLQxKDHgI/ // also a good question to ask is why does the west want to care about muslims now? when have they ever cared in the past (i.e: islamophobia, sanctions)? ...whose interests does it serve for the media to report about them?

ok after doing a quick skim through of this (because it is STUPID long) i find its veracity highly questionable. none of the sites linked to are what i would call credible, and a couple of them are literally just blog posts ppl made with, again, incredibly suspicious or straight up nonexistent sources. on top of that, several of the news articles were either from pro-ccp sources (thegrayzone ones in particular) or were direct from the ccp (by way of chinese media/news outlets) themselves. admittedly i only thoroughly looked through the first two categories, and skimmed the rest, but all that alone is enough for me to consider this claim basically false

im definitely noticing a rise in anti-chinese xenophobia, both in everyday life and in american politics, and i wont deny that western news outlets likely arent spreading these stories for altruistic reasons. but to straight up deny the reality of the internment camps in china is perplexing to me, and also quite similar to what both the U.S. and germany did with their respective concentration camps during wwii. unless ur a tankie - and if so ur in the wrong fuckin place cause i hate tankies LMAO - theres literally no reason for any leftist to back the chinese government or its system of governance, because its not communism or anything close to it. its imperialist capitalism wrapped up with a red bow.

i know ur not the same anon but u should probably consider doing a bit more research into where your info is coming from before taking a hard stance on anything. both pro-ccp and chinese news outlets/websites have an obvious bias and a reason for why theyd want to obscure the truth about these camps. it doesnt take much critical thinking to put that together. im always skeptical of western news outlets too, especially when it comes to foreign affairs, but i think its kind of irresponsible to accept that the conflicting info MUST be correct simply because it exists. keep that in mind for the future

#anya's anons

8 notes · View notes

wandering-bitch · 4 years

Text

Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)

I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen

This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.

What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.

title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood

it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job

i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s

so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit

ch 1

the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT

i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly

“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.

this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha

ch 2

i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices.

“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?”

if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian

please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth

like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef

i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing

mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm

i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series

yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.

ch 3

oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!

i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!

by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”

someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it

please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human

not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade

god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time

mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move

but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.

im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit

OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head.

“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing

ch 4

IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER

memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry

“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.

oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj

so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously

please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables

ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!

our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry

acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace

“tip your servers well” -- wen qing

wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!

wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young

oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives

ch 5

awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss

writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!

fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise

fun also because i Love a Bitch.

stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability.

the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!!

but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore

i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive

uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.

oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck

sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???

get fukt jin guangyao

he 100% cries to lxc about this later

what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything

“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp

god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha

next time: ch 6-10!!

#mdzs #cql #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #wen qing #behind the scenes #i have always loved the door #mianmian #god i just [clenches fist] love mianmian

1 note · View note

thequantumqueer · 4 years

Note

so I'm not gonna go the "sympathizer sympathizer" route, because that's dumb, but "conservatives would become leftists if they weren't being manipulated and maybe if we just educate them hard enough they'll come around" is a thing I've seen people express pretty frequently on the left and also maybe why the right thinks we're all so condescending

oh yeah no thats not what im going for at all. “maybe if we educate them hard enough” is also a big problem. conservatives arent like, too stupid to realize whats going on, or whatever. mostly theyre just as scared as everyone else, and all theyre trying to do is make sure everyone they care about survives and doesnt end up on the street.

they know community support is the only way to make it through, and so when things get rough they reach out to the groups they’re already part of: their church or their PTA or their booster club or whatever they happen to be a part of. and, i want to be absolutely clear on this: that’s exactly what they should be doing. when the left talks about organizing your community, we should be pointing at shit like that as a shining example of the things we mean.

the problem is that those communities are full of people who, just like them, are afraid of what it might mean if things are bad and getting worse; if they can’t trust the government they’ve helped give so much power to; if the wackadoos on the left who keep shouting about the end of the human race aren’t actually wackadoos. they, and everyone who supports them, are accutely aware that if they’re wrong then not only do they have several thousand times more to be afraid of, but they have to deal with guilt on top of that

and so they (subconsciously) look at themselves and evaluate how they, as a person, would deal with being on the wrong side of one of their “if it’s not true, then nothing matters, but if it is true, then nothing else matters” arguments and conclude, much as just about anyone else would, that they would deal with it real fuckin badly. and then they look around at the people who are depending on them to keep it together, and they decide, much as anyone else would, that anything that puts them in danger is unacceptable, which means they can’t fall apart like that, which means they can’t accept the possibility that theyre wrong

this isnt some theoretical profile of someone i think is probably fairly average. this is a description of my mom, who’s convinced she’s a super weird person because she *checks notes* farts, likes snakes, owns a motorcycle, kept the cornish game hen my sibling mummified for a school project, knows how to build a fire, and has adhd and anxiety

over and over again, for almost a decade now, she has responded to everything from subminimum wages in sheltered workshops to the fact that people in charlottesville were holding swastika flags and chanting “jews will not replace us” the entire concept of conversion therapy to with the words “that’s ridiculous; i can’t believe that.” every example i point to is met with “there’s always going to be whackjobs” because that’s what she needs to believe

i saw something a few years ago that said the only strategy the left needs is to ask people what they need and then give them that without questioning them or arguing, and that’s what it’s going to take to bring most conservatives around; whether they’re consciously aware of it or not, they are not in a situation where it is safe for them to think critically about things, and in many cases haven’t been for so long that those skills have started to atrophy, but theyre competent adults, and they know when theyre being talked down to. all they need is the security to know that if and when they have a nervous breakdown, the people they love are going to be fine until they’re back on their feet.

im just appalled at how often people on the left seem to completely forget that their opponents are real, complete people with their own thoughts and needs and motivations, and not just sort of this weird faceless conglomerate of “either theyre a nazi or theyre a nazi thrall, and either way fuck ‘em”

i choose compassion, and i ask anyone who doesn’t why not

#wild doge appeared. much wow

6 notes · View notes

dewitty1 · 6 years

Note

My one follower recommended your page lol.I see your friends with lots of cool people and writers. how do you get to do that? Did you just talk to them? Im new on tumbler and love drarry. who are your biggest followers and friends? do they follow you by asking? who is good to follow? thank!

Hello there, Anon!I'm sorry I sat on your ask for a bit the real world got in my way and I didn't get a chance to get to it, plus I was mulling over how to answer for a bit, if I'm being completely honest (which if you decide to follow me, you'll see that I always am, sometimes to the point of brutality).

One follower??? How do you only have one follower? Come out from behind anon and say hello, I won’t bite! Well, you know, unless you’re into that sort of thing *rawrrrr*

How did I become friends with writers, you ask? Well, it was difficult for me. I was a lurker in the fandom for a long time. Meaning, I just read fics, and sometimes the comments, but I never had the nerve to comment myself. I didn't really know there was fandom activity on Tumblr until a few years ago(2014-ish), when I started looking for fic recs. So, I started following a bunch of Drarry Tumblr blogs, @goldentruth813 was one of the first authors and Drarry blogs I followed. She's great. From there I just started following other blogs, and authors who left their Tumblr links in their AO3 fic notes.

But how did you get to talk to them, you ask??? Well, that's when I found out about the Drarry Discord chat from @carpemermaidtales! It's a good way for you to go and meet the authors,and other fandom people, because Tumblr is a terrible platform for actually having a conversation with people. I must warn you though,sometimes the chat can be very busy, and its hard to get a word in, and sometimes its very dead. It just really depends on your time zone, your working hours, your sleep habits, and whatnot. Also if may not be a good fit for you. It wasn't for me after a while. It can be overwhelming if you have social anxiety. Also,like any other place, it can be a bit cliquey. I don't think anyone does it on purpose. It's just how people are. Everyone is very nice, though. Hopefully me saying that out loud doesn't come back to bite me in the ass,but it probably will. 😬 Oh well, brutal honesty, right? Also, the Discord is great for you if you're working on writing yourself. They have all kinds of great helpful things there, activity rooms, production sprints, Brit picking, fest talk, beta help, and cool stuff like that. So, its a good place overall, really. Ok, biggest followers and friends-Well the friend I’ve had the longest here would be Dave, aka @pleasantlyhumongouspizza. We’ve been friends since I got on twitter in 2008 or so. He’s even on my Facebook (YIKES) so he really knows too much about me.My Tumblr daughter is @rose-grangerweasleyisbae. I scolded her about not doing homework or something on one of her drabbles, and I’ve been Tumblr Mom ever since.She’s a good daughter! And a fabulous writer! Her work is really coming along well. I’m uber proud of her, as if I were really her mom. I don’t mind being called Mom. I’m open for more youngins to come talk to me. I’ve since been adopted by a few more - @oolaan (vents to me very often. I try to give good advice.) & @chaoticbong (shes buckling down and studying hard on hiatus right now).Other good friends -Sam - @xx-thedarklord-xx Love her writing! It’s almost always fluffy. She does not do much angst or character death (like once and it STILL had a happy ending). And of course you can’t have Sam without Ren her bestie, @rmh8402, she ships Drarry, but also Frostiron (Tony Stark/Loki) so be warned, there. She works nights here in the USA so can be hard to catch if you want to talk but usually has good stuff on her blog.Then there’s one of my favorite authors @lqtraintracks, who write fab fics, usually with amazing smut, and her girlfriend, @whipmyhairlikebangbang, who shares my love of Gal Gadot, and is a fic writer herself.Can’t forget @femmequixotic & @noeeon a couple who is definitely GOALS if there ever was. Love them both! And their Erised fic last year was AMAZE! OMG! Also if you’re not reading Tales From The Special Branch Series, then what are you doing?Another power couple I love would be @camael-fanart & @skarhead. I don’t talk to them as much as I’d like, unfortunately, but you definitely need to follow them if you aren’t.If you’re not following @llap115 then you are really missing out on a good fandom friend too. Amazing art, and very supportive.Another fab friend and artist is @scarlet47. Lover her, her art rocks. Also she posts kittens, lol...Then there’s my favorite kitten (*only I can call her that though mmmkay?) @parkkate. Lovely, gorgeous, friend, that I keep curled up in my pocket, safe and warm. Oh and she writes as well, lol....My lovely Aussies- @jadepresley who was the first fic writer to follow me back and I think I screamed out loud and startled my cat. @queenofthyme who has probably the best blog, and writes lovely fluffy works as well. @henrymercury, gorgeous Hannah who sings like an angel and rocks a fantastic suit, not to mention writes some great fics. Oh and follow @fleamontpotter for hilarious comics.Follow @bixgirl1 and for great writing as well - Lemme tell you, The Claiming of Grimmauld Place - I was trying to tell my son how funny Paul was, about him eating Bertie Bott’s and calling our boys “Fruckers”, watching them shag, lol... I about died laughing and he just looked at me like I was nuts. LOL.You really can’t have Bix and not have @l0vegl0wsinthedark. It’d be like popcorn and no butter or salt. Blegh. L0ve is an awesome writer too, and has a great blog.

Okay from here I think I’ll just post other blogs I think you should follow because this post is really long, lol---

@staganddragon Love her, but we don’t talk enough anymore, and i miss her A LOT!! Same goes for @pukingpastilles @puking-pastilles. Follow @insufferable-git aka @scarheads-malfoy because Rachel is beautiful inside and out and her Draco is perfect. Follow @jesreally & @askdoratonks Because Jes is lovely and does amazing RP though we’ve never talked. If you want leftist political stuff (I DO) follow @eidheann, butshe posts other interesting things too, though if you follow me I usually just reblog her anyway, lol. Follow @magpiefngrl for more fab Drarry writing, as well as @callingdrarry and also because Gracie is hella funny, and I adore her to bits. If you like cool Aesthetic stuff as well as interesting HP rarepairs follow @untilourapathy, Gwen is fab tooo!��I’ve probably left a bunch out and have made someone feel bad because I did and if so I’m sorry, but my brain is shit, because I don’t sleep. and it’s basically filled with song lyrics, and movie quotes, and other uselesstrash that nobody cares about. So anon, I REALLY hop that gives you a good idea about who to follow, because if not, then IDEKWTF to tell you, lol...

for now BUH BYE!

99 notes · View notes

tylerwritez · 3 years

Text

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m. sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad. But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking about random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

#JudeJournals #jude shepard #tumblr diary #journal

1 note · View note

uiruu · 6 years

Text

i dont know the academic and philosophic and ideological terms for SHIT

but i know what i believe in, i know whats important to me

reading what other people said 150 years ago wont change that, itll just give more a better understanding of how to put into words what i already believe

or maybe help me find a belief that i didnt know i had, but that rings true with whats important to me. like imagine i never considered anarchism, but have always been against authority and shit, and so when i read about anarchism i was like “wooooahhh yeah that makes a lot of sense, i dig that”

like thats not a new belief i picked up, its just a new word for a belief i already have

i kinda think most people are like this, more people are socialists and communists and anarchists than realize it, and if they learned about that stuff they’d find it rings true with everything they value

so i dont think there is any required reading to be a leftist, in as much as i would never say “oh you havent read the entirety of karl marx’s capital? pshh fake leftist” because fuck man i havent and i never will. but i think its at least important to be always open to learn about everything in the world, and in this instance its important to at least learn about the various beliefs that are out there, so you can figure out where your innate gut sense is pointing you. i havent read all of the conquest of bread, but ive read like half of it (tho idk how much stuck with me) and ive read a LOT about it, and read a lot of opinions people have on it, and i keep up to date on current events and follow people who are fans of kropotkin and so see a lot of news and issues framed in an anarcho-communist way, so like............

ive been called anti-intellectual by some hardcore marxist-leninists (an identity i know just enough about to know its NOT for me) and their responses are always like “oh you think reading is bad? peak anarchist” or some shit

but isnt that kind of anti-intellectual of them? to say that unless you’ve read all the books on their fucking incomprehensible out-of-date fucking european-as-hell reading list, you cant have an opinion? thats bullshit. i dont like referencing logical fallacies cause it makes you sound like an asshole but isnt that some hardcore appealing to authority? karl marx isnt important to me other than that he said some stuff i guess i pretty much agree with. he said some stuff i didnt agree with either. though, maybe his use of the phrase “dictatorship of the proletariat” is sort of a poor phrasing and i’d have a different opinion on it if he used a different word than dictatorship. but anyway, like, marx and engels and even kropotkin and stirner and bookchin and goldman and all these names people love to throw around...

i saw this tweet that sums it up

their names carry no extra weight with me. they’re just people who wrote stuff in the past. they’re comrades and people of a similar viewpoint to my own, but not heroes.

this got longer than i wanted but my point is this: if they said something i agree with, then i agree with it. if they said something i disagree with, i dont have to try to like it just because they’re the all-important patriarchs and founding fathers of anti-capitalism. to say that only they hold the keys to knowledge is anti-intellectual. a person who doesnt speak any of the languages that their books have ever been translated into, and who has never heard of their names, could come to the same conclusions about what is the best way to take care of each other. are you gonna say that theyre irrelevant because they cant recite the opening lines of the communist manifesto?

reading is good, reading is fine, but learning is more important. i do most of my learning not by reading long texts, because that’s not really an option for me. but i do the best with what i can do, and im open to the fact that i dont know everything and i want to always be learning. to say that theres only one way to learn a thing is just flat-out wrong. its not that im against reading these sacred texts, its that im against elitism. im against people telling me my beliefs arent valid because marx said this and mao said that.

that kind of reverence for authority is exactly why im not a marxist-leninist.

i know what i’m about and i dont need anyone else to try to tell me what i should or shouldnt think, i am against the idea that only those central figures understand it well enough and all your understanding should be gotten through them

this is why people say socialism and communism are hard to get into. because they actively push people out. even the fucking words “bourgeois and proletariat” are fucking bourgeois as hell, ironically. thats pretty fucking inacessible for people who hadnt ever heard those words before and especially cant pronounce them. it makes you sound arrogant to talk about dialectics this and vanguardism that and shit. those ideas are still important things to understand at least what they mean, but they can be expressed a lot easier in simple language.

this is a mess and i dont feel like cleaning it up. i’ll probably make similar posts phrased better later because this is something important to me. i strive to always try to find the simplest way to express these ideas because thats vitally important.

anyway, fuck your heroes

#maybe i should do a 30 minute video fuckin hbomberguy style

15 notes · View notes