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ferel6 · 1 year

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(Tldr: new research study, got my first 12 lead ekg 🥰)

Have a new research study that I'm going to participate in, but needed to go to an initial screening to make sure I qualified for the research (you know you need to start working out/eating better when they call you in for research because your BMI is over 30 😑)

Regardless, I am still VERY excited to be a part of it. They are testing Angiotensin, which is naturally created in our bodies, but they want to see if it will help with lowering blood pressure and spark metabolism in obese patients (that's me 😓)

The screening was a blast. Had to fast for 12 hours prior, got up in the morning and brought my wife and son with me to drop them off at the zoo for the day while I completed my screening. Long car ride, lots of time to get hype. Watching them eat breakfast only got me more excited (I wasn't really that hungry and the fact that I couldn't eat was just a reminder of the coming events).

I dropped the fam off at the zoo and made my way over to the familiar parking garage and began my walk over to the vascular center, past the main hospital entrance with patients and staff milling about, past the cancer center (feeling lucky that I was here for a different reason than those poor souls), and finally past the emergency room entrance, watching an EMS crew loading up an ambulance. I've always enjoyed this walk, getting the sounds and smells of the hospital, seeing all the staff everywhere in their scrubs. Anticipation mounts.

I got up to the Clinical Research floor and the study coordinator was already waiting for me. She greeted me like I was an old friend (I've done maybe 7 study sessions with them now, so I know the two main coordinators well, and I'm starting to recognize some of the techs) and we walked past our usual room, through a set of doors, and into a less lit hallway and back rooms I'd never been in. She explained there was another patient here for the study so we had to do the screening elsewhere.

As a note, I am VERY professional when it comes to these studies. While I do them primarily because of my fetish, in the moment I internalize all of that and quash it down hard to remain neutral and keep my vitals from going haywire and throwing off the research. But going through darkened hallways into secluded, partially lit rooms full of carts and tables and wires and tubes and trays and machines, just the coordinator and me, got my mind fantasizing something fierce 😬😈

Luckily, as with all studies, we needed to sit and talk through EVERYTHING they were going to do to me during our session, today and the next if my bloodwork came back acceptable. So I had plenty of time to temper myself while she explained.

The screening would include a DXA scan, full body composition. I'd also receive a full check up from a physician at the hospital and my first 12 lead EKG (!), which the physician would need to check over to make sure it looked good. Then a quick blood draw would round out the screening.

She explained the next visit would include two IVs, one in each arm, one for the infusion of saline or the drug they were testing (blinded) and the other for blood draws during the procedure. I'd have a 3 lead ekg to monitor heartrate, a BP cuff on my arm and a finometer on my finger and strapped around my wrist, a blood oxygen monitor clipped to my ear, blood flow sensors taped to my stomach, arm and leg, and a tent-like canopy over my head to capture my breathing. Unlike some of my other studies with them, she told me I could practically sleep through this one, as it is a LOT of sitting around during infusion and just listening to my breathing, so she said most of her patients literally take a nap 😅.

While all this talk would normally not allow me to relax my anticipation, I tried my best to return dialog, asking questions and getting the coordinator to open up about why they were testing certain things, what the blood draws were for, talking to her about the research I'd already done on the drug and it's effects, and hearing her thoughts on how the study was going. The longer we talked the more I could feel my heart slowing to a much more manageable rhythm 🤭

We finally got to it, hopping up and taking my shoes and socks off for height and weight, then straight over to the table for my first full fledged EKG!! As you can see on my channel here, I have a 5 lead patient monitor, and I've been to other studies where they used a 3 lead, but I've never had the pleasure of a full 12 lead reading before.

The coordinator dragged the machine over, more a printer with a keyboard than the brilliant colorful screen with the green line we all know and love. She already had the square medline electrodes attached to the leads so she set about hooking me up, a constant flow of conversation making me feel at ease and keeping me calm during something that in retrospect turned me on SO MUCH. I felt the cold sticky adhesive on my skin as she talked about how they would unfortunately pull on my hair coming off, if this had been a stress test she'd have to shave my chest because of all the sweat and movement, but it wasn't a big deal for a short resting EKG, how some of her older male patients would complain about the shave because they were going on cruises in a weeks time. Just a constant barrage of stories of her wiring up others just like me.

Once the leads were attached, she wrapped a BP cuff around my right arm and turned on a different monitor behind me, noting the beeping sound on it as the machine complaining that there was no temperature sensor hooked up, "But it broke a while ago, so we had to take it out and now it just yells at us all the time that there's none in there. But it's OK we won't have it on long, just going to take your blood pressure twice and I'll turn it back off again while your EKG is running. 138/85 a little high, it should come down, I'll run it again. Oop, EKGs printing, let's take a look. Oh looks great, but we'll still need to call the physician up to check it over, I'll text him now while I run the other blood pressure check. Ok, messaged, 133/86 better, better."

See what I mean? Constant stream of conversation. She's awesome. I would chime in from time to time, noting things like "oh that BP is a bit high for me" or whatnot, but mostly I just listened and enjoyed.

With my EKG readings printed off, she came back over, unstrapped the cuff from around my arm, unclipped the leads from the electrodes and wheeled the machine back to the corner. I thought maybe I could leave the stickies on my chest this time and have a bit of fun at home later and began to pull my shirt back down, but the coordinator reminded me of my imminent DXA scan and came back over to rip the patches from my chest.

We waited for a while longer, talking again of other patients, the study, what each of the tubes of blood would be used for during the procedure, until the physician finally arrived. He was young and tall, wearing those oh so lovely pale green scrubs with a stethoscope around his neck.

We fistbumped for cleanliness as he introduced himself, talked with the coordinator about what she needed from him, then looked at my EKG printout. He confirmed everything looked fantastic, noted my BP at the top and signed it. Then he turned to me and told me to hop back up on the exam table again so he could check me over.

He got out his stethoscope and began his inspection, asking me questions about my health or telling me to take a big breath and hold it.

Another note here: I am straight, but where my medical fetish is concerned professionals, even males, can REALLY get my heart racing, so I had to slam my breaks hard to not give anything away here. Id already had my BP taken and an EKG run and now a young, fit doctor listening closely to my heart. Man that was a tough one.

Done with his stethoscope, he threw it around his neck again, brisk hands checking the pulse in my neck, both my wrists, my ankles, my feet. All while asking if I took any medications or if I had had any health concerns lately.

We finished up and he was baffled by my perfectly healthy condition 😇. He told us he NEVER gets to examine healthy patients in his line of work and it was very refreshing. I apologized for not having something wrong with me, eliciting a chuckle from all of us in the room.

He signed off my paperwork again and we walked him out of the clinic on our way to the DXA scan. We talked the whole way, him asking if this was my first study (the coordinator cutting in "No he's one of our regulars!" 🥰) asking if I was close to the facility (told him I'm about two hours away, "Wow! That's far! Well thank you so much for the help with these studies!")

We parted ways and the coordinator led me to a tiny room with a bed and a scanner over top of it. I changed into shorts and laid on the bed while she got the program under way. 7 minutes of lying stock still while the bed moved me around, taking the whole composition of my body (it's a very light x-ray). She printed an extra copy of my body comp (if you ever need motivation to get fit...go get a DXA. It is the most unflattering picture ever).

Then we went back to our room and she had me hop up on the bed again for the final thing: a blood draw. She told me it'd be quick and mostly painless, as she only needed two vials and was just using a butterfly needle.

A pro as always, strapped a tourniquet around my arm, cold alcohol wipe, a quick flash and her stream of conversation started back up as she pushed on my bicep to get the blood flowing through the tubes.

She wrapped my arm up and sent me on my way with my packets of paperwork.

The whole day was over in like an hour and a half, but was just so....chill. So relaxed. I'll update again on how my study goes once I go through that date, but I was just so excited to be examined, poked, prodded, carefully scrutinized again. And for my first ever full EKG.

These will always be long winded posts cause I need to get my feelings out, decompress. Feel free to message me to talk about similar experiences or if you have questions. Ya know...if you read this far 😅. I love talking to people about these feelings!

#ekg #cardiophile

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janeblr · 8 months

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Just had a panic attack for the first time in a VERY long time holy fuck

I have to get one of my wisdom teeth pulled and my front tooth replaced with an implant which doesn’t bother me, it will give me more confidence and I think that wisdom tooth has a cavity anyways? And to do that I had to go to my orthodontist to get a new copy of the referral he wrote me a while ago so I could make an appointment with an oral surgeon. All of this was just fine- I’ve never been afraid of the dentist or anything, I’ve had oral surgery before, braces, etc etc. But I also realized that I haven’t seen the actual dentist since pre-covid and needed to make an appointment. I started freaking the fuck out in my car on the way there, sobbed in the parking lot for a solid ten minutes, held myself together just long enough to walk in and make the appointment, then cried in my car all the way home. I’m not afraid of the dentist or pain, Ive seen this dentist plenty of times before and he’s great, I’m afraid of losing my teeth. I inherited my mom’s shitty teeth and if I get my all wisdom teeth pulled(like my orthodontist and dentist want) and I’m right about one of my molars being cracked then I’ll lose almost all the chewing surface of my teeth because I already had three molars pulled when I got braces. I just took a few klonopin(and some ibuprofen because I got a headache from crying) so hopefully I can calm down enough to finish making phone calls for the day 🙏

#mypost #the tooth chronicles

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thetaekookcloset · 2 years

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A lot of people are confused by what jungkook means when he says he likes taehyungs “innocence”. My interpretation is that he actually means his child-like innocence. People seem to think that just because he has an intimidating face or rbf, he is some rebellious sex god. But there are plenty, plenty of times when you really see his whimsicality (?), idk i cant seem to find a good word to describe it. But in his solo promos like take recently for example: when he meets kang dong won, in the video has this huge, shy smile that reminds of someone who just met their celebrity idol or role model. Kind of like if i met someone i’ve always looked up to in my career and then the person starts praising me. I would be super honored and flustered, for him it comes out as cheesing from ear to ear. Its not just jungkook who says that btw! Its even his hwarang cast, and bts members. A lot of people seem to mistake this as his flirtiness? But really hes just soooooo charming and has this particular smile especially when hes around people hes looked up to or dreamed of meeting like park hyo sin, kang dong won, etc… (he really reminds me of someone i know in my life, hes very charming and just collects peoples hearts so damn easily, god i wish i had that ability, alas i do not). Ive seen him get really flustered around jungkook too mostly in the really early days. There was this video around dope era where tae just gets super shy and tries to suppress a smile around jungkook, but he really couldnt, so then he just leaves lmao.

I've talked a little bit before about what I guess Jungkook might mean when he says that he likes Taehyung's innocence. I feel we can really only guess about that, since his true meaning is probably only known to himself, maybe himself and Taehyung, and I don't feel like we have enough context for it to speculate.

That said, I do personally see what you mean and would describe some things about Taehyung as innocent too. I mentioned in that other post, I think, that when Jimin described him that way, he seemed to be talking about the way that Taehyung is just very free with his emotions. I can see that in some ways, though I think as he's gotten older and become generally more reserved, he's also gotten really good at holding his emotions back when he wants to, or so it seems from the outside.

I think he has a way of being really sweetly charmed by the world around him and he seems to let himself feel those emotions fully. He doesn't mask them in cynicism or irony, he doesn't try to be cool about things. If he's excited, he's excited. If I had to guess, it comes from a deep-rooted confidence in himself, which I think is a big part of why he's always been a really popular member.

It's something I really admire about him, personally, his way of seeing and accepting things for what they are and being able to let himself feel an unhindered delight in them, and being able to express that without self-consciousness. I think what you talked about in terms of him meeting people he admires and being so openly excited is a really good example of this, and I like your use of the word "whimsicality" too, because I definitely think it is a very whimsical character trait of his.

It's unique, and frankly refreshing, and like I said, for me it's one thing that I really admire and respect about him -- but I also love that it's only one part of him, and as open and whimsical as he can be in some things, he can be mysterious and cool in others, or shy and hesitant sometimes too. We contain multitudes, and all that jazz, and if anyone is aware of that and embraces it, it's Kim Taehyung.

#ask

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pinkseas · 2 years

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hi aly!!!! 45, 47 &51 for the ask game? (fun fact 51 is my go to getting to know someone question to break the ice etc so imagine my joy when i saw it on the ask game dajkslsfda)

HI SOAP :DD <33

45. Is there a song you love but you wish it was sung by someone else?

um. um. um. um. this is so fucking bad but Most Taylor Swift Songs. ITS NOT HER FAULT i look at the lyrics and im like god this is incredible but i can NEVER listen bc i have really bad connotations with her crying emoji. ive been trying to get rid of it bc its annoying and her music slaps but so far i have Failed

47. Do you like Amusement Park rides?

i think if i was less anxious id fucking LOVE them but as is not really? like i used to LOVE the teacups, rollercoasters, this one fucking casino themed ride where you spun a lot, the swings....... and then the Mental Illness kicked in and now im not really a fan of anything they just tend to freak me out a little bit

51. Have you ever stolen anything?

okay first of all this is SUCH a funny getting to know someone question. second of all once when i was 2 years old my parents handed me a tiny dustpan and broom in a store and i was in a stroller so come checkout they forgot about it and we walked out with it for free. and that is the only time i have ever stolen Anything im a HUGE pussy im way too nervous to actually commit thievery. NO I JSUT REMEMBERED AS I WAS TYPING IN THE TAGS OKAY. SO.

theres a reason i forgot that this happened. i was at a comicon with a friend. this friend was very good however i was ALSO in an extremely toxic friend group and one of them was a huge fan of stealing and highly encouraged it. i am in peak overwatch phase. dva is my EVERYTHING wildly hyperfixated on her. there are little blind bags with cute keychains in them for overwatch characters including a dva and a zenyatta hung up for display. theyre blind bags WHAT are the chances i could ever get dva. and hey its this huge stand they have plenty of money. as my friend is buying blind bags i Swipe The Dva. i dont even remember how but i managed. they definitely KNEW someone had stolen it and maybe even that it was me but they didnt say anything just made a vague comment. we walk away. my friend opens the blind bags. One Of Them Is Dva. i regret this moment for the rest of my life and never steal anything again.

#admittedly i feel like i HAVE stolen something small before #like the memory is almost there but i cant think of anything specific so idk if im just making it up or not #wait oh my god i remember it #UMMMMMMMMMMMM so yeah #i cant remember if i still have the keychain or not i may have gotten rid of it out of shame #or just when i stopped being hyperfixated idk #i shouldve known i had adhd after spending 4 years wildly obsessed with the same character to the point where it became most of my personal #personality*#huge shoutout to the people who knew me all through that and are Still Friends With Me you are so strong

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distant-mountains · 2 years

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theres a frog on aisle seven. i was sweeping and it was crammed underneath the ledge. i reached down to pull at it. it stretched like a stress toy but did not move. i dont even think it was alive.

theres an ink splatter stain on aisle two. its been there longer than i have. i sweep over it. it smears. i pull my broom back, the smear is gone.

i avoid the ink splatter.

the lights are bright and white and always. i cannot see outside. what time is it? when do i get off?

i finally head outside. the sun has set, but it is still an orange glow above the mountain range. the sky is dark above me, and stars are peeking out above me.

i collect shopping carts. theres plenty of space in the aisle.

i collect shopping carts. theres no room. i put them to the side. i do not know if im allowed. ive been here for years. this is my fifth day. when can i go home?

nobody is using the carts i return, they all use baskets. i walk to the far edges of the parking lot. there are carts here. i walk them back. the parking lot is empty, yet there are cars on the far edge.

my hour is over. i go inside. it is daytime once more. nobody needs their groceries bagged. i put things back. frozen vegetables all look the same at this hour. round, small, in a white bowl.

my shift is over. i leave. people are still entering. its dark outside. there are no stars.

#unreality

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ambassadoralexa77 · 22 hours

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Think games centres, exciting entertainment, a choice of restaurants, spas and modern bedrooms with all of the latest gadgets and conveniences. Many have had sparkling makeovers to match hotel standards and affordable rates are available for self-catering holidays, as well as a range of other board options.

From hotel-style complexes and forest lodges, to beachside chalets and caravans, holiday parks offer a wide range of accommodation styles and facilities to suit every budget. Each park has its own character and menu of activities, so compare parks to find the right one for you and your group.

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Who needs the Med when you’ve got Cornwall on your doorstep? No, we’re not joking – if you think Cornwall (or Kernow as you might hear the locals call it) is just about pasties, then think again! England’s west extremity has the lot.

Besides Cornwall’s many stunning beaches, the region has a deep sense of heritage and a vibrant creative side to explore. For the latter, look no further than the incredible Eden Project or Tate St Ives.

Hankering for some great food? Head to pretty Padstow, which boasts excellent restaurants including chef Rick Stein’s flagship fish venue. The surf’s up in Bude, Newquay and Perranporth, and, of course, no trip to Cornwall would be complete without a visit to iconic Land’s End.

Where should I stay in Cornwall?

The pretty harbour villages of St Ives and Padstow are not exceptions in Cornwall – the coast is dotted with these traditional little seaside villages, perfect for a relaxing week by the sea.

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#cornwall #kernow #lovecornwall #cornwallcoast #cornwalllife #beach #sea #newquay #visitcornwall #cornishcoast #cornish #nature #uk #photography #devon #coast #stives #sunset #love #explorecornwall #cornwalluk #walkingcornwall #falmouth #summer #kernowfornia #cornwallliving #england #ocean #cornishlife #truro

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yesimstillemo · 2 years

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riot fest happened happened a month ago at this point, and i wrote a majority of this the weekend of but kept putting off posting it. but i still wana rant about what a mess it was especially as it pertained to mcr! heres my list of grievances. all of these are problems that were caused by riot fest, not mcr EXCEPT for one thing which ill start with:

1.riot fest should not have been mcrs one and only chicago date in my opinion. there was way too much anticipation bc theyve havent played in chicago for what, a decade (correct me if im wrong)? people also bought these tickets 2-3 years ago so there was even more anticipation because of that.

the rest of my issues have to do with riot fest and their poor planning. while this was my first 3 day music festival, it is not anywhere near my first concert/fest in general.

2. friday was packed compared to the other 2 days and MANY people were coming just to see mcr, they really shouldve limited friday tickets selling more than they did bc there were just too many people to even try to control. even when i was waiting to enter at the beginning of the day, pretty much 50% of people were wearing mcr shirts, which just goes to show how many people were coming in anticipation of mcr

3. security was off and on. on friday they just waved us through metal detectors, which did not go off even though we had things like metal locks in our bags. saturday they took a peek inside our bags, and sunday they actually went through our bags fully.

4. there was one water station and it was at one side of the park where 1 stage was, quite a walk away from the other 3-4 stages, and it was genuinely easier to just buy alcohol. the food prices and amounts were... a little ridiculous and the lines were awful on friday. ive been to fests before but this was just Something. my brother got 2 small tacos for $10. i got some mac and cheese that was like 5 bites for $7 and a brownie for $5 (which ended up saving me bc it was calorie dense and i could carry it around taking nibbles thru the rest the day). we got those at really good timing really early in the day but later the lines for food were awful so we couldnt get anymore food. i get that festival food is always overpriced, but the portions were just so small to be able to sustain yourself for the fest. i also feel like there just werent enough food vendors for a fest where it says you cant bring any outside food in, altho its possible i couldve felt that just bc there was only 2-3 vendors that i could eat food at bc vegan. add the alcohol to a lot of peoples empty stomachs and it just didnt go well

5. people were packed in the riot crowd section before alkaline trio even started playing on the roots stage right next to it. and i mean PACKED. cant move, cant make space

6. speaking of before mcrs stage even started, riot fest should have known that the crowd needed mitigating when taking back sunday was on the riot stage a couple hours earlier. when the lead singer mentioned mcr, the crowd screamed and he got an alert that the scream got to 106 decimals (from what i heard)? again, a lot of anticipation

7. there was no competing band playing at the same time as mcr (except a 30 min overlap with marky ramone on a veryyy side stage) which made a bad situation even worse. people who felt neutral about seeing mcr had no other band to see instead, so it just made a bigger, more packed crowd. they shouldve had another medium/big name act playing at the same time to at least try and separate the crowds

8. the stage space was way too small for this amount of anticipation, and there were not enough sections dividing people. the riot stage was basically walled in from what i saw, with a barricade front, left, and right, and another barricade halfway jutting out in the back. i dont think people realized how the barricades were set up, so more and more people kept trying to squish in which just packed and trapped the people who were already there

9. the crowd itself was also full of jackasses. i dont know /when/ exactly the shift in vibe took place, but when we saw the descendants just ~3 hours earlier than that one the roots stage, the crowd was completely fine, regular fun punk crowd antics. plenty of space for everyone closer to the stage from what i experienced at that point BUT

10. by the time alkaline trio was playing (band before mcrs set at the roots stage), people in the crowd around me were yelling for them to stop playing so mcr could play, even tho it was alkaline trios designated set time. people really came to a FESTIVAL and treated it like it was just an mcr show, which again, caused way more issues. honestly it felt like a lot of ppl both felt entitled to see mcr and pissed at the same time bc they werent at all close to the stage. just bad vibes

11. getting out after mcr was a nightmare, there was like one exit (i dont know if they even had a different exit open) and everyone was shuffling along to get out of there, it took us maybe 30-45 mins to even get out of the festival gates? i dont even know what would have happened if there was a bigger emergency at that point bc of how big and packed the crowd was, all going the same direction to try and leave

#riot fest #2022 #mcrriot #idk why i kept forgetting i wrote this lmao #i could prolly add more but at this point i dont have the energy to fix the mess this post is

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deeeelightfuldee · 2 years

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Who is your best friend, and how long have you known them for?

It was K. for basically a decade. Now that thats all over im kind of in limbo. Z wants to be but im not sure. I just need time to process i think.

Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university?

My dad didn’t care about any of it. Neither of them pushed for college/university. And i was already very strong at excelling in academic areas.

What’s the worst jet lag you’ve experienced?

Nothing too intense. More so just exhaustion

Are you a polite person?

Yes but i do have plenty of sass if im comfortable with you

When was the last time you went for a walk in a park?

Like two weeks ago.

Do you ever feel super shitty about your appearance?

Ahhahahaha yes. I hate the way my stomach looks.

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless?

yes. .. until it wasnt

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky?

Yes. im just so over that.

Do you know any computer programming languages?

Not anymore

When was the last time you were in a really bad situation?

Not long. I think the worst is over.

When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Again, dad did not take any involvement into my life for things like that. Mom initially said we had to be at least 16. Psh. i waited a lot longer than that lol

Have you ever lived with a person who you tried to avoid at all costs?

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. 3x

Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person?

Absolutely not

Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban

What is something all of your exes have in common?

Ummmmm theyre Christians but beyond that they dont really have much. Different heights, weights, eye color, hair color, skin color, some were highly educated, some weren’t. Some were outgoing and some were shy. Some were hilarious, others were dry humor. Some were BIG on family, some were estranged from family. Some were considered blue collar, some were white collar. Some made me feel like i was the only girl on the planet and some made everyone feel welcome and safe. I dont really see a ton of similarities. I think ive got a type in my mind that i would be ultimately attracted to and would jump on given the opportunity, but i seem to give all a chance looooooool.

Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible?

No, i dont think one is worst over all others. So many are equally awful

What is your worst childhood memory?

PASS lol

Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license?

Aside from coming back from getting my license, i drove to youthgroup. My sister let me borrow her car, i felt so cool.

What was the best part of your day yesterday?

Yesterday was a literal shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzz show. It was so bad. So so so bad.

What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid?

I was basically never in trouble. The only times i was, was when scott did something and my dad thought i did it

What do you wish you could get paid for?

Reading

Have you ever hosted a dinner party?

yes

Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates?

Online dating, working together, growing up in the same town/church, mutual friends

Of all the houses you’ve lived in, which has been your favorite?

This one

Do you get sunburned easily?

Eh, no not always. Depends. I hate the sun and i avoid being in it at allllllllllll costs.

Do you drink liquor straight?

Like shots sure

Do you brush your teeth as soon as you wake up?

I get up, make my bed, find my slippers, then walk to the bathroom to brush

What are you wearing?

Shorts and a tank top.

This past summer, did you have a “thing” with anyone?

It is still summer. This one was so tricky. Stuff with K just went so south and i really loved him. Ive tried dating other people and some special people are present so we will see what happens. I need change.

What are your feelings for your ex-boyfriend?

He is trying to win me over to go back out together. Hes doing a lot of work to improve and hes moving so all thats cool. But someone else ive had great feelings for previously, is also doing some amazing things so idk. This whole thing is confusing. Idk how i feel.

Do you think it’s stupid to have more than one best friend?

No, but i dont really have experience with that.

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?

I own some that do

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?

yup

Are you cocky?

That definitely isnt a word i would use to describe myself

Do you wear your shoes in the house?

No but i do wear slippies

Would you dye your hair?

course

Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z?

Lol yes. My ex

Do you know a guy named David?

I do.

Has anyone ever told you you were beautiful?

yea

What color is your bathroom?

Uhhhhh like mauve-y. Not my style.

Do you play sims?

Not in a long time. I always enjoyed it.

How many people have told you they were in love with you?

Ooooof. I think 14. How many do i believe? 3

Is any part of you sad at all?

Yes but ill figure it out

Do you have unlimited texting?

Yea for the time being Last February, were you single?

When will your next kiss be?

Either this week or next

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?

Barf i cant believe im gon say this but yes. They kissed me while chewing gum and it was not intentional

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?

Yes lol

Last thing you ate?

Frig im hungry. Ummm dinner i had gyro

Do you currently have a hickey?

No lol

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Are you multi tasking right now?

Sure, got a show on. Petting ben. Typing this. Mentally obsessing over stuff.

Do you believe in karma?

No. some people will never ever have to deal with the stuff they dish out.

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1rmono · 5 years

Text

#im so worried. like #at college i have a really close group of friends #theres 6 of us 3 guys n 3 girls and like i have a lot of friends outside that but theyre the group im close w and tell everything to ya know #and the thing is i really dont want anything romantic from my side towards any of them like i see them as really close ride or die platonic #friends and nothing more like i wouldnt date anyone from the 6 of us because (from experience w an ex in the past) dating in ur best friend #circle makes things extremely messy #so its summer school rn and only 3 of us are in college rn #me and 2 of the guys. one has a girlfriend and one doesnt #the one who doesnt and i have been hanging out a lot and spending a lot of 1 on 1 time together #and thats fine like we dont usually hang out 1 on 1 without the group but its whatever #its not like we’re awkward or sth but weve been getting a lot closer and last week we spent the whole day together #and stayed out at a park till midnight n all that and talked about everything #n hes a great friend but like yeah thats about it i cant even begin to see him romantically #but ever since that night i feel like the vibe between us shifted?? like suddenly hes different #and im away for the weekend instead of at the dorms but hed come around there n called me #and i was like im not there for a few days why whats up and hes like nvm i had something to tell u n i was like?? just tell me now on the #phone and hes like its more of a face to face thing n i was like uh....oh.........#n i have the worst feeling hes gonna ask me out #and im good at saying no i mean ive been asked out plenty n said no but GOD i dont want to do it to a close friend #bc thats just gonna make our whole relationship so strained n awkward #and i really would die for the 6 of us as a group n i dont want fleeting feelings to come in between that but idk how to avoid it??#like i had made it p clear w hints in multiple convos w him that im not at all interested but ugh boys often are v dense #they only pick up what they wanna notice and ugh i just. im scared itll ruin all of our friendships n itll be all my fault #im really worried and ushejsnjsjs fuck

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dokoni-mo · 2 years

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Crave || William Afton x GN! Reader

summary: William is tired of waiting.

NSFW // Suggestive

word count: im too lazy to do wordcounter so uhh medium length

warnings: dubcon??? sure why not. corruption kink, age-gap (reader is 20 while Will is pushing 40) relationship, Will is kinda (really) creepy, obsession, usage of those kinda toys, masturbation, usage of pet names, sensual touching, praise, very brief and faint daddy kink, swearing, Michael is in this too briefly a few times, not proofread

a/n: it's been a while since ive posted on this blog. i really don't know what this is, so I guess just consider this some word barf. I only thought of it after binging all of the first season of Euphoria

taglist open. minors dni.

William Afton could not remember a time where he wasn't faking.

It didn't necessarily mean he was an unhappy person, no. Actually not in the slightest. He had a stable job with a plenty amount of money flowing in, and a big enough house to show for it. His three children went to the nicest school in town, and wore clothes and shoes that made heads turn. The car parked in the driveway was sleek and shiny. He shared a CEO position with his best friend for multiple companies. He was drop dead handsome. A widow. A charming bachelor. What other men his age got to say that? William was truly living the American dream.

But, it was all just... boring.

Maybe that's what drew him to you.

You were his eldest son's friend, someone he met in the early years of community college. Michael would have you over often, and sometimes you'd just show up at the house. Not that William minded.

You weren't boring.

You were a pretty young thing. It had been far too long since William had something so pretty and supple close to him. You were the same age as his eldest, but William didn't fucking care. He was tired of people his age flirting with him anyway. He wanted something fresh and exciting. Something pretty for him to fawn over and take care of.

He wanted you.

He learned listening in to your conversations with his son that you were a virgin. Hadn't even been kissed before. Only had one "boyfriend" in middle school that only dated you for a week over a dare.

It made his cock unbearably hard thinking about getting to be all of your firsts. The way you would tremble when his big hands finally got to caress your warm body. The look of worry in your doe eyes when he kisses you for the first time. The way your lips would be so timid against his, your hands clasping his dress shirt as you wondered if he felt as good as you did.

Don't worry, sweet bunny. He did. He felt so, so good. You made him feel like he reached nirvana

It's what he would think about at night when he put on his favorite porno. It's what would play on loop in his mind as he fucked into his fist. Its your name he would groan under his breath. Its you that made him start to lose interest in his favorite movies. He couldn't even get hard anymore looking at them.

Because they weren't you.

Its you that made him want to invest in something else other than his hand. It's you, sweet bunny, that made him buy his first toy to pleasure himself with.

But alas, its also you that made him grow tired of that as well.

No amount of imagining the cheap plastic was you could do him justice anymore. He always knew in the back of his mind that it wasn't you that he was pumping full of hot, sticky semen every night. Who was he kidding? Something like that could never be a replacement.

William needed the real thing. He wasn't sure if he could ever get off again if he didn't.

He needed a plan.

It would be easy enough for to get you alone with him. After many times of chatting with him while you were waiting for Michael to appear, William could tell you trusted him enough. That made things a lot easier.

He decided he would just use Michael. He would wait for a day he knew his son would invite you over, then create some scenario where Michael couldn't make it home in time to meet you there. William could use his money for this. Bribe a few college boys with a couple hundred dollars to distract Michael for a few hours without him knowing. Boom. Easy. Tomorrow should be a good day to do it.

That part's covered. William will go to the bank in the morning to get the money.

William knew that you would be timid to come in when Michael isn't home. That's fine. He can just lie. Tell you that Michael just had to run to get some snacks for you two and he'd be back any minute. That sounded like his son enough for you to be comfortable with that answer enough for you to come inside.

Yes, it was all coming together.

William would gently lead you over to and sit you down on his plush couch. He'll force Michael in the morning to clean the house while he's at the bank. Can't have his sweet, precious bunny sitting in a dirty living room. William would make you tea to get you comfortable as you sat, and he would soon sit next to you. Not too close to freak you out, yet not too far. William hated it when you were far away from him.

William was good at small talk. He'd practiced a lot trying to blend in with the normal crowd. He knew your sense of humor too. He'd be sure to make you laugh. He loved your laugh. It was so fucking sexy. You hated it, though. That made William pissed. You have nothing to be insecure about. You're so fucking precious and darling in every way. When you doubted yourself it made William want to bend you over the nearest surface and pound you until you were convinced every part about you was beautiful. That every inch of you was-

Mr. Afton was getting ahead of himself. He had to focus.

Eventually, his hand would find a place on your knee, his large thumb rubbing into your flesh. A test. If you reacted well, he could continue. If you didn't, well...

you needed more work.

It wasn't a choice now of if you were gonna be his, now only when.

He hoped you would be a good little bunny and play along with his wishes. It would disappoint him if he had to punish you so early on.

If he could continue, he'd move his hand down your thigh, moving his body closer to you. Surely you'd be blushing by then, a nervous look on your adorable face when you look up at the taller, bigger, older man. It would be so fucking adorable. The way your eyebrows bent in confusion. The way your plush lips would part.

How he wanted to do unspeakable things with those lips.

William would keep putting his hands on you, slowly but surely. He would keep his touches soft, delicate, like you would break into a million pieces if he pressed any harder. He'd go slow, alert to pull away if he sensed his bunny getting uncomfortable. The last thing he want's is to scare his bunny away. They were just a timid little thing. His bunny to keep all to himself, to protect and hold and never let go. He needed patience with you. That was fine. He was a patient man. He had a mile of it to give when it came to you. He knows how scary it must be to have such a handsome, older man touch virgin you like that. How scared you must be when you feel how good he can make you feel. How timid you are with all of these new sensations.

Its okay, precious little one. William promises to take such good care of you. He'll make you feel so good, just wait. You'll never want for anything ever again. That's what you get when you're a good bunny for your daddy.

William would be sure to praise you to keep you going. He'll tell you all the things he's been waiting to say to you. He'll tell you how he's never seen something as pretty as you. How he finds it so hard to control himself when you're around. How he gets so jealous that Michael gets to see you every day and be near you. He'll tell you how he's waited so long just to feel how soft your pretty skin is. How he's wanted you for so, so long. How he only wants you.

You'll question him. You'll be confused.

It's okay. William is there to calm your nerves. Can't you see how much he wants you? His big hand are all over you. He keeps looking at your lips. And surely by now you've noticed that painful looking bulge in his pants.

He wants you. Only you. No one else could even come close to being as perfect as you are for him. William doesn't mind his baby is a virgin. That's what he's here to do. He'll teach you all you need to know, and daddy will make you feel so good in the process.

All you need to do is have some faith.

#wiliam afton #william afton x reader #fnaf x reader #fnaf smut #william afton smut

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fics-for-my-heart · 3 years

Text

F a k e - Dylan O’Brian

Summary: You need a fake boyfriend ASAP, your best friend knows exactly who

Word Count: 4632

A/N: I saw a post about something like this happening but it was so long ago I can’t find it. I hope you guys enjoy it’s been a while since Ive written anything If anyone would like something specific send me some ideas!

Warning: cussing, mean coworker.

Masterlist

“Remember everyone, the company New Year party is in three weeks.” Brian announces to the room. As if anyone could forget. Brian has been planning this party since July. He is convinced that if we ring in the New Year together we will have a better year as a company. Not that we have had a bad year per say. But Act isn’t the only casting company in Hollywood. “It’s going to be amazing, and I really hope everyone will come. Have a good weekend guys. See you monday!”

“Y/n!” Sally called out, her shrill voice sending a shiver down your spin. “Y/n, slow down!”

With a sigh you stop, the last thing you need is her chasing you down. Sally is the main gossip of the office. She will take any little thing she can and run with it, and before you know it the entire office knows you had the poops.

“Sally, hi. Can’t talk long, I have a date tonight.” It’s your excuse every time. Even though you are single, and don’t really have a date.

Sally’s lip curls into a devious smile. “Right, with this mysterious boyfriend of yours. I do hope you bring him around soon. You’ve been together for quite some time now haven’t you?

“Only a few months.” You glance at your phone. “I really should go, I need to get ready.”

She pops her gum, giving you a look that says she doesn’t believe you. “I hope you bring him to the New Year party. Brian will be so disappointed if you don’t.”

“Of course. I’ll double check with him that his schedule is clear. See you Monday!”

“Enjoy your date honey!” She calls as your door closes. She stays right where she was as you pull out of the parking lot and you almost fear she can see right through you.

———

“You mean you haven’t at least faked a break up?” Your roommate, Meg, huffs. “I told you weeks ago you were taking this too far.”

“I know. But I really just don’t want to hang out with them like they want me to. And faking dates or important events is the easiest way.” You flop back, taking the bowl of popcorn from her. “I’ll probably just say we broke up or something.”

“You can’t do that now. Sally will definitely know that you were lying.” Meg would know best. She worked at Act first. Your first day there she helped you learn the ins and outs. Then she got a job offer from a long term client of hers to be her assistant and she couldn’t pass it up. “Besides. You know plenty of men, ask one of them to be your fake boyfriend for the night.”

Your jaw drops as you look at her. “Ew close your mouth. There’s still popcorn in there. Why do you look so shocked?”

“You just told me to get a fake date to a company party?”

“And?” She takes a handful of popcorn. “Look, just get a fake date and have him break up with you there. Then you get sympathy points for it happening so publicly and you don’t have to answer any questions.”

“You’re mad.” You laugh. But the idea doesn’t seem too crazy when you think about it. “Okay. Maybe not entirely mad. But I need it to be someone who no one at the company already associates with you or me. Then it would be weirder that I hadn't brought him around.”

Meg is already smiling at you, making you start regretting this because she seems way too excited about something. She also had the look in her eye that she had when she made you hike the Mist Trail on a summer day.

“What? I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.”

She flipped her hand. “Oh shush. I just already know the perfect person for you. What are you doing tomorrow?” You go to answer but she keeps talking. “Awesome. You’re coming to the set with me.”

“Why?” You gave her a look. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing, Just a girls day. This TV show we are shooting is awesome so I want you in on the fun.” She shrugs.

———

The next morning Meg woke you up with ice coffee and a bagel from your favorite breakfast place. She also made some heavy suggestions on what you should wear and refused to answer any of your questions.

“Today is a reshoot day. So lots of downtime. Toya was excited when I told her you were coming.”

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen her.” You said as Meg pulled into a parking spot.

She laughed and grabbed her things from the back seat. “Well if you didn’t keep making excuses on why you couldn’t come to set, you’d be here more. And the busy boyfriend thing won’t work on me.”

“Oh shut up. None of my clients work on this show, you know that.”

Meg lead you through the actor trailers, waving at a few people here and there. “I know. That’s what makes this the perfect place to find your fake boyfriend.”

You gasped, swatting at her arm. “Don't be so loud.”

She rolled her eyes at you and kept walking. Normally this early in the morning people were eating breakfast or getting ready for hair and makeup. But reshoot days were different. The cast and crew all met up to discuss which scenes needed to be done again. It insured everyone was on the same page and gave a timeline on who would be where and need what when.

Meg took notes throughout the meeting while you scanned the faces. The show had gone through a whole season since the last time you were here, so there were many new faces. But, the one that made your heart stop was the last one you expected.

You whipped your head around to Meg, staring her down in disbelief. When she didn’t look, you elbowed her, causing her to drag the pen across the paper.

“Dude.” She whispered, her brows pinched. “What the fuck?”

“Uh, no. You what the fuck.” Your throat felt tight. “Were you not going to tell me about the new cast member?”

Meg rolled her eyes, next time you were going to make her pay you for that look. “Shut it. I’ll introduce you later.”

“Are you crazy!” A few people turned to look at you but quickly turned back to the front. “I’m leaving. I can’t be here.”

Quick as lightning she put her legs in your lap. “Sit down. You’re making a scene. It’ll be fine, we can avoid O’Brian if you want. But I need to be here for this so sit. Please.”

Huffing, you did as she asked. Silently hoping you can find a time to dip before you run into Dylan O’Brian. The one person you’ve had a crush on since before coming to work in California.

But, life isn’t nice sometimes, and neither is Meg.

“Toya! Dylan!” She called when the director called the meeting. She grabbed your arm before you could bolt. “I brought someone special with me today!”

“Y/N!” Toya screamed before wrapping you in a hug. “Oh it’s been so long.” She swayed with you. Arms tight around your neck. “I’m so glad you are here.”

Your arms gripped her just as tight, it really had been too long since you had hung out with her. “I missed you too. I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately.”

She let you go, looking you in the eyes. “No need to apologize, dear. Life can get in the way.” Someone behind you cleared their throat. Toya laughed. “Ope. Where are my manners? Y/N, this is Dylan.” She turned you around and your heart stopped.

A squeak escaped your lips. His caramel eyes locked on yours. Every nerve in your body fired then froze. His mouth was moving, but his words didn’t register. Then everything started at once, causing the world to spin.

“Woah.” Dylan grabbed your arm. “You okay?”

“Head rush.” You looked at him again, lord was he pretty. “Hi.”

“Hi,” He laughed.

Before he could say anything more the Director called them over to prepare for the first reshoot. Toya gave you a quick hug and Dylan winked before walking away. Meg laughed and nudged you.

“Glad you came?”

“Shut up and show me around.”

—————

Roughly an hour later you were in the corner of the dining area with a plate of food and a Reds game playing on your phone. After catching up with a few people and watching some of the reshoots, Meg had to do some work for Toya and you were hungry.

“A Reds fan? I don’t know if we can be friends.” A deep voice broke your focus on the game. It was Dylan, with a plate and a huge smile on his face. “The Mets are clearly the superior team.”

You blew air through your lips. “Psh, okay. I know they aren’t the best. But the Reds are my team.”

“Yeah but,” Dylan starts, placing his plate down and taking the seat beside you. “How many games have they won?” He raised one eyebrow and you silently cursed yourself. That’s something so hot, and seeing him do it? Lord help.

“Actually they haven’t done so bad this year, thank you. Besides, they aren’t in the same division, so you can support both.” You shrug, turning back to the game just to catch a grand slam. “See? The only thing they need help with is their bullpen. And something to ward off the injury bug because they have like six players out right now on the IL.”

“You know your baseball.” He seemed surprised.

“Only the Reds. My dad and I watch them together whenever I’m home, and we text each other during the games.”

“I got to throw the first pitch at a Mets game.”

You gave him a side eye. “Yes, I know. It wasn't bad.” It was slightly shocking how comfortable you were having a conversation with him after what happened this morning.

He chuckles, and it rumbles deep in his chest. He’s quite a moment, the two of you eating and watching the game. When he speaks you almost choke. “Something you can use to brag about at the company party.”

“I’m sorry. What?” The game is forgotten and your face starts burning.

Dylan on the other hand seems to not notice your inner turmoil. “Meg told me you could use some help with a company party.”

Your head falls. “She’s so dead.” Dylan laughs again, and honestly you could listen to it on repeat. With a deep breath you look at him. “I do need help. But you don’t have to be the one to do it.” He must have been who she was talking about last night.

Dylan shrugs. “I think it’ll be fun. Plus I don’t have plans for New Years. Also, despite your choice of baseball team, I think you’d be fun to hang out with.” He finished with a wink, and it’s definitely hotter in here.

“My coworkers are a little crazy.” You warn, and why are you, he just offered to be your fake boyfriend shut up.

"Have you met your best friend?"

A loud laugh escapes you. "You're very right. She can be crazy."

"So," Dylan started, pushing his plate away. "What do I need to know?"

-----

Two weeks later and your excuse of a date is true. Dylan picked you up from work for lunch a few times. The two of you had been texting almost nonstop. Even over the holidays. Granted it was mostly just about stuff that two people in a relationship would know about each other, it was still nice.

"Do you have an outfit for the party?" Dylan asked three days before said party. It was pizza night at your place and you and Meg invited him to join.

"Not yet. I was just planning on finding something I already had."

Meg groaned. "I tried to convince her to get a new outfit but she refuses."

"I don't see the need to buy a new outfit for one night." You snagged another slice.

"Well," Dylan sat back in his chair, watching you. "Then get one that you can wear to more events. You never know when you might need a premiere or fundraiser dress. Plus we need to coordinate."

You matched his pose, "What are you implying O'Brian?"

"I'm implying, Y/N/N, that you should let me take you shopping. As a gift."

Meg smirked at you two, her head had been bouncing back and forth like she was watching a tennis match.

"I mean, if you're paying."

"That's normally what a gift means, sweet cheeks."

You roll your eyes as Meg fake gags. "You guys are gross."

Dylan throws his napkin at her, then pins you with a look. "Tomorrow. You. Me. Fancy dresses."

---

"Where are we going?" You asked as you climbed into the passenger seat of Dylan's car the next morning. Your phone automatically connected and you started some music.

"Just a little place near the studio. They always dress me for events so I figured that would be a good place to start."

The shop wasn't far and Dylan was greeted with warm smiles. Two of the workers, Mary and Ann, took your arms and pulled you into a showroom full of extravagant dresses.

"Uh." You stammer, looking at a huge ball gown. "I think these might be a bit much for a company party."

Mary nodded. "Oh most definitely. We pulled all the cocktail dresses for you to try!" Gently she turned you toward a dressing room that had a very comfortable looking waiting area.

Dylan took a seat and smiled at you. "Have fun playing dress up!"

Twenty dresses later and you were beginning to feel discouraged. Mary and Ann were giving lots of words of encouragement, but none of the dresses felt right. They were pretty, but were wrong for you. Then Ann pulled a black dress with gold design all over. It was simple, but beautiful. You slipped it on and Mary zipped you. Perfect fit.

Your breath caught when you saw yourself. This was definitely the dress. It was simple enough to wear to different events. It flattered you well and stopped just above the knee. The gold design was slightly raised and snaked randomly around the dress, almost like a broken plate fixed with gold.

"This one." You whispered.

"We agree." Ann answered.

"Want to go show the superstar out there?" Mary asked.

You nodded and they giggled, turning to open the door to the room. Dylan was relaxed in the chair, a cola in one hand, his phone in the other. The shuffling of feet had him looking up. His eyes grew wide when he saw you, then they scanned from head to toe and back again.

"Woah. You look wonderful." He smiled so big his eyes crinkled. "Is this the one?" You nodded. "Fabulous. I have just the outfit to match." He looked you over again and you could feel your cheeks heating up. He closed the distance between you, grabbing your hands and spinning you around. His voice was soft when he spoke and his eyes were looking into yours. "You really do look beautiful. I can't wait to be your fake boyfriend and show you off."

Your stomach fluttered. Fake. It may have slipped your mind that this was fake. The past few weeks felt anything but. It will be over soon. The lunch dates, texting all the time, movie nights. You'd be lying to yourself that feelings hadn't been growing. He made you feel warm and fuzzy. Made you laugh. Was so nice to everyone. But, knowing that you now had an amazing friend made it easier. The feelings still came crashing hard.

"Y/N?" Dylan brushed your hair out of your face. "You okay?"

You took a step back. "Yeah I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"I think so." He smiled at you again, then did something unexpected. He kisses your temple. "Go change and we can go get lunch."

---

The day of the party Meg helped do your hair and makeup. She had fawned hard over the dress and made you try it on the moment you walked in the house.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she curled a strand of hair. "You've been abnormally quiet since you came home the other day."

"Yeah. Just a few things on my mind with work."

"Y/N. I've known you for a while now and I know when you are lying. What's really on your mind?"

You sighed. "I think I have feelings for Dylan."

"Psh. Tell me something I don't know."

"What?" Your brows pinch together as you look at her through the mirror.

She rolled her eyes. "Come on. It's obvious. But," she held her hand up when you tried to talk. "It's obvious he likes you too. I've seen him on set. All he does is talk about you and he gets flushed when I give him hell."

The thought of that made your tummy flutter. "But this is all fake. That was the agreement."

"It doesn't have to be though. Rules change all the time. Plus if the feeling is mutual then why not go for it?" She added a pin to your hair. "Okay hair is done. Now, please go put on that beautiful dress."

In your room you took a moment to look at yourself and think. Could things change? Was Meg right about Dylan having feelings for you? Would things be awkward after all this? The sound of the door pulled you back to reality. No matter what happens, tonight will be a blast.

The dress got better and better every time you looked at it. You’d definitely have to attend more events to have an excuse to put it on. Dylan hadn’t shared what he was going to wear but you were sure it would be perfect.

With a deep breath you made your way to the living room. Dylan and Meg were talking, his back facing you. Meg stopped mid sentence and Dylan slowly turned. He was in an all black suit with a gold trim running all around it. Even the side seam of the pants was gold. He looked so attractive.

“Woah.” You both said at the same time. Your face heated.

“I’m so glad you chose that dress.” Dylan’s voice was low as he walked towards you. His hand found yours and he pulled it to his lips. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.” Your own voice was barely a whisper. Your skin was prickled from the feel of his lips on your knuckles.

He smiled and gently pulled you along, almost to the door when Meg called out.

“Wait! Excuse me! I want a picture!” Her phone was at the ready.

Thankfully she didn’t want too many, and soon you and Dylan were in his car heading towards your office. Nerves bubbled in your belly the closer you got.

“Just remember, some of my coworkers, especially Sally, will try to be extra nosey. More so since we’ve been hanging out so much during lunch or you picking me up. I went months telling them I had a boyfriend as an excuse to get out of things.” You rubbed your hands together trying to get rid of the clammy feeling.

Dylan turned into a parking spot, shut the car off, then turned to look you in the eyes. “Hey. We got this. I have every intention of going in there and being the best boyfriend ever. Don’t let them ruin your fun okay?” He waited for you to nod, then jumped out of the car and opened your door. "Are you ready, sweet cheeks?"

"As I'll ever be."

Dylan's hand was the only thing keeping you from running back to the car. You could hear the music as you got closer to the big conference room they were hosting the party. With one final deep breath, you walked through the door.

"O. M. G Y/N!" Sally's voice screeched over the music. "You actually made it!" She bounced over to you, eyes on Dylan the entire time.

His hand left yours and he snaked his arm around your waist, giving you a light squeeze.

Before any of you could say anything, she kept going. "Oh my gosh! Dylan? Dylan O'Brian? Y/N why didn't you tell us you were dating Dylan O'Brian?" Her smile was almost evil. "We probably wouldn't believe you. But here you are." She giggled. Her eyes were back on Dylan. "You know, this is so silly. We had a bet going that Y/N didn't actually have a boyfriend."

Your eyes shot open and your heart was in your throat.

"Hey, Sally, it's Sally right?" Dylan's grip was tighter on you now, almost like he was trying to hold you up. People were watching, but only a few were smirking. Sally looked shocked that Dylan knew her name. "Please, and I mean this is the nicest way possible. Please shut the fuck up." The entire room gasped, Sally was, for the first time, silent. "You know everything you just said was incredibly bitchy, right?" He let out a dry laugh. "Me and this lovely lady are going to go enjoy the party. Hope you have a wonderful night."

There were no words. You physically couldn't speak as Dylan and you stepped around Sally and into the room. Suddenly there were cheers. Which was completely unexpected.

"Holy shit. Do you know how long I've wanted to say something to her?" Kelly asked. "Y/N please know that there wasn't a bet. Now that I see who you are dating I totally understand why you wouldn't want anyone to know." She squeezed your elbow.

Your mouth was dry but you still introduced them. "Dylan, this is Kelly, we sometimes eat lunch together."

"A pleasure to meet you." He smiled, extending his hand. "Any friend of Y/N is a friend of mine."

A few other people came up, speaking directly to you when they spoke. All of them confirming what Kelly said about there not being a bet. After a while you and Dylan found a table off to the side, drinks in hand.

"Thank you for that."

"No need to thank me. I can't stand people who are mean for no reason. This isn't highschool, we are all adults trying to make it through the day. People who try to ruin others' days need to have their asses handed to them sometimes."

You signed, taking a swig of the bubbling champagne. "Still. I've never had anyone defend my honor before. It was kinda hot."

Dylan smirked at you. "Anything for you, Sweet Cheeks." He reached up and booped your nose. "Now, let's finish these drinks and hit the dance floor."

The rest of the night went so well. Sally steered clear of you. Dylan never left your side. It was truly the best night you could imagine. Before you knew it, Brian was getting everyone's attention.

"We have two minutes before the ball drops! As you noticed we have Time Square streaming on all the tvs around the room. While I still have a second, I want to thank everyone for coming and for making this a wonderful year for the company. I'm so grateful to be ringing the New Year with all of you and I can't wait to see what next year holds!" As he finished the countdown on the tv began.

Dylan wrapped an arm around you, something he had been doing much of the night. It was nice. He was solid, warm, and smelled amazing. The countdown clock was less of a reminder that the year was over and more of a reminder that your time with Dylan was coming to a close. You pushed closer, determined to soak up as much closeness as you can before it was all over.

"15!"

"14!"

Dylan turned to look at you.

"13!"

"12!"

His eyes were lit up by the brightness of the screen as he looked your face over.

"11!"

"10!"

"9!"

He leaned into you, his cheek pressed against yours so you could hear his voice.

"8!"

"7!"

"6!"

"5!"

"I'm going to kiss you. If that's okay."

Your breath caught in your throat. But you managed a nod.

"4!"

Dylan pulled away, looking you in the eyes before darting a look at your lips.

"3!"

Closer.

"2!"

Closer.

"1! Happy New Year!" The room erupted in cheers, but you couldn't hear anything.

Dylan's soft lips were on yours. One hand gently held the back of your head while the other held you as close as he could get you. The soft stubble he had poked under your nose. But you didn't care. The fireworks going off somewhere in the distance were matching with the ones exploding inside you. Your hands wrapped around his neck as he kissed you hard.

Suddenly the room noise filtered back, causing your ears to ring. Dylan pulled away, but rested his forehead against yours. Your noses brushing as you smiled at each other. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Yes please." You giggled. Your lips were still tingling as you all waved a quick goodbye and dashed out the door.

As you reached the car Dylan spun you around and pinned you to the passenger door. Loud booms of fireworks echoed and the sky lit up around you. But Dylan was looking at you like he didn't notice anything else happening. His hand reached up and brushed a hair out of your face, his thumb gently tracing down your face to your lips, his eyes following the movement.

"Can I kiss you again?" His voice was hardly a whisper as his eyes found yours again.

Every part of you was on fire. It had been so long since someone had made you feel like the most beautiful person in the room. You weren't even ashamed that your voice was raw when you spoke. "Please."

He didn't hesitate. His lips were on yours immediately, this time he didn't hold back. His tongue poked out, and you opened up, exploring each other. His hands held you tight, and yours held him even tighter. Worried that he would disappear if you let go.

After what felt like forever, he pulled away, making a whimper leave your lips. He pressed a quick kiss to them again before looking at you. "Holy shit."

You laughed, patting his chest, leaving your hands there. "Holy shit is right."

He gave you another quick kiss. "I don't ever want to not be able to kiss you."

"What are you saying O'Brian?" Your fingers fiddled with the buttons of his suit jacket.

"I'm saying, Y/L/N. If you want to forget the whole f a k e thing, I'm more than happy to oblige."

"I might have to think about it." You responded as nonchalantly as you could. Dylan gasped, making like he was going to pull away. "Wait." You pulled him back, this time pressing your lips to his. "I too would like to kiss you whenever I want."

"Oh thank god." He reached behind you and pulled your door open, gently helping you inside before running around to get behind the wheel. "Your place or mine?"

"Mine. Meg won't be home tonight."

Dylan gave an evil laugh. "Bet she will already know."

"Probably." You laced your fingers through his as he drove toward your house. This year would definitely be a good one.

~~~

@rrrogertaylor

#dylan o’brien fanfiction #Dylan O’Brien #Dylan #fanfic

52 notes · View notes

wienerbarnes · 3 years

Text

Italian Heart

Pairing: Bucky x Italian!MobBoss!Reader

Word Count: 4,867

Warnings: canon level violence, possible inaccurate italian slang lol

A/N: ive been watching a lot of the sopranos lately and i feel like ive never seen a bucky x mob boss reader au (ive only rlly seen em where buckys the mob boss. if there are ones where reader is the mob boss PLS SEND EM TO ME I BEG) a lot of the slang and mob stuff here is from sopranos bc... im not in the fucking mafia so forgive me anyway enjoy :)<3

MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky’s never seen a woman quite like yourself.

Dressed in expensive satin and jewelry that hangs between your breasts, an angry look on your face at the fact you’re sitting before him and Sam in an interrogation room in the tower. Freshly done nails, clean and crisp lipstick, spicy perfume, and an expression of annoyance.

As put together as you look, you don’t look like someone to be fucked with. Which, he supposes is good for a mobster; the Boss of Newark.

Looking at you, though, he’d never thought you to be such a figure of intimidation. While the mafia is still alive, despite how the media tries to deny this, he always pictured an old Italian man that chain smokes cigars. He doesn’t think he’s too far off, to his credit; he can smell the remnants of smoke on you.

“Mind if we make this fast? My cousin’s comin’ for dinner and I was gonna make ziti.” You huff, crossing your legs under the table.

“Sounds delicious. Sorry for dragging you all the way out here.” Sam says, a calm look on his face even though he’s well aware of what you’re capable of.

When hunting down the last traces of the super soldier serum, he never thought Nick Fury himself would suggest getting in touch with you. He didn’t think it was worth the time to question how the two of you knew each other.

Theft. Drugs. Murder. Bribery. The list goes on, and there’s not a single thing that ties you to any of it.

A shrug of your shoulders, “So, what exactly is this about?” You ask.

“What is it that you do for a living?” Sam asks.

“I work in waste management.” You respond, a rehearsed answer.

Not exactly a lie, the environmental facility you manage is one of hundreds of covers used by your crew for your crimes. Environmental facilities, deli shops, strip clubs, auto shops. There isn’t a business in Jersey you aren’t tied to.

“Waste management? Like, garbage disposal?” Bucky asks, knowing exactly what it is you do for work.

You smirk, “Yeah, we dispose of garbage sometimes. What’s that got to do with me being here?”

“It’s to my understanding that you’re in the business of… buying and selling things. You and… the people you hang around got a real knack for it.” Sam tells you.

Bucky holds back a roll of his eyes. More like stealing and selling. Expensive Italian suits, antique watches, cars, electronics, illegal cigars. Who knows what else.

“I don’t know where you heard that… but I’m a popular gal, maybe I know a guy who might know a guy. What are you lookin’ for?” You ask.

You know this game, after being in the mob for so long. After being a part of your own crew for years, your patience and hard work paid off, working your way up to a captain and finally a boss. It didn’t take you long to learn in this business that government officials are jokes. Always wanting to bust my balls and then come crying to my corner for help, it’s a bunch of ugatz.

“Serums.” Bucky finally speaks.

A laugh escapes you, “What, like vitamin C?” You teasingly smirk at him.

His chair makes a loud sound in the small room as he pushes it back harshly and stands, resting his hands on the table in between the two of you. You don’t flinch.

“Enough with the bullshit. Super serums. To create super soldiers. We need to get them before they end up in the wrong hands and make a big ass mess.” He snaps at you, but you don’t seem phased in the slightest. In fact, you seem rather amused.

“You must have a lot of agita with all that anger, Sergeant Barnes.”

He doesn’t hold back this time and rolls his eyes before you speak up again, “Your first name is James, isn’t it? Ain’t that Italian?”

“No, it’s English. Or Scottish. Or Jewish - I don’t know, who cares? Are you gonna help us or not?” Bucky takes his seat again, crossing his thick arms over his broad chest.

“What’s in it for me?” You ask, leaning back in your chair.

“Not being arrested for all the shit we know you’re caught up in.” Sam offers.

You roll your own eyes this time, “I’ll take my chances. Thanks for wasting my time, boys, don’t let it happen again.” You stand, prepared to make your way back to the train station to go back to Jersey.

“Wait,” Sam stops you, “What is it that you want?”

You smile innocently and take your seat again, taking a minute to think before answering, “My little sister’s a big fan of yours. I’m sure she and all her friends would think it’s cool if you showed up to her prom as her date.” You wink at Sam.

Silence fills the room as the men think about your request.

“You’re gonna do it, right?” Bucky looks over at him and sees Sam rubbing the crease in between his eyes. He was expecting you to ask for immunity, protection, money, guns. But after hearing your request, he supposes you have enough of all that stuff anyway.

“Man -” Sam begins to refuse.

“Sam, it’s a fucking school dance in exchange for some of the most powerful and sought after serums on the planet - go to the fucking prom.” He tells him, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as to how he would hesitate on something so simple.

“She’s eighteen, so you won’t have any problems with the media or none of that.” You add, the information not really making Sam feel any better.

“Alright, alright, fine. I’ll go to the dance with your sister if you help us get these serums.”

You smile, happy to have done business with the two men, “What information do ya got for me?”

…

Bucky and Sam wait outside a back room in the facility you own. They passed the garbage trucks parked neatly outside, but could hear your screaming and the smell of Cuban cigars as soon as they entered the building.

She’s with a customer, they were told, by someone in your crew, them meeting Bucky’s expectations for mobsters more than you did. None of them ask any questions, but Bucky and Sam aren’t stupid, they’re sure your crew is aware of what’s going on and know the exact reason they’re there.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? The Bible says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit -”

“You listen to me, you take your Bible and your quotations book and shove it up your fat fucking ass! Now get the fuck out of my face!”

Bucky can’t help but scoff listening to you scream at whoever’s inside. Sam elbows him, silently telling him that now isn’t the time to find your work funny, especially not in front of the rest of your crew.

Bucky knows he’s old-fashioned, and while things that were taboo such as body modifications or certain fashion styles don’t phase him anymore, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing a woman talk like that. He doesn’t think he’s ever even heard anybody talk like you do.

Suddenly a man bursts out of the room, huffing and puffing, and you walk slowly behind him, as if to make sure he makes it outside okay.

“Grab his plate for me, will you?” You say not to anyone in particular, voice smooth and calm as if you hadn’t been yelling and threatening that man’s life for the past twenty minutes.

One of the men from your crew follows outside, seemingly to collect the license plate of the man who just left.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to that guy, right?” Sam asks as he and Bucky enter the room, taking a seat in front of the desk you have in there. He knows there’s no point in asking, that you’ll do whatever you want regardless because it’s obvious you’re passionate about receiving respect, but it was worth a shot.

“Is that what you came all the way to Jersey to ask me? Christ, I’m fuckin’ starving, you boys want anything to eat?” You ask, accent heavy as you reach into the side drawer of your desk and pull out what seems to be some kind of meat wrapped in paper.

“Gabagool?” You offer to them, picking out a slice for yourself and placing it in your mouth.

“Gesundheit.” Sam responds.

“It’s pork, you asshole.”

Bucky silently reaches over and picks off a slice of the cured cold cut, putting the meat in his mouth and savoring the flavor. While he can’t stand the way you make a living or the sailor’s mouth you have, he loves Italian food, and actually chose a neighborhood in New York that has plenty of traditional cold cut markets and restaurants to live in in order to fulfill his cravings.

“There’s a big party staged downtown this weekend, we think that’s when the drop is going to happen.” Sam tells you, bringing the focus to their reason for coming here in the first place.

“I’ll send one of my boys.” You reply in between your chews.

“That wasn’t the deal. The deal was you get the serums.” Bucky speaks up.

“Buck, you know how many people want her dead?” Sam tries to reason.

“What the fuck do I have a crew for then? - No, if pretty boy wants me to do it myself, then I will. The same people that want my head are the same fucks who are terrified to be within twenty feet of me in fear they’ll make eye contact. I’m not scared of nothin’.” You say, narrowing your eyes at Bucky.

“What did you guys come here to talk about?” You ask.

Sam looks confused at your expression, “...To go over the plan? Hash out details? So you know how everything’s gonna go?”

“I’ll be fine; I’ve seen The Godfather once or twice,” You tell him, wrapping up the cappo, after Bucky picks off one last slice, and replacing it in the drawer, “Don’t worry Captain, this ain’t my first rodeo. I’ll get the serums for you.” You open a different drawer and pull out a cigar and a lighter.

Bucky watches as you place the large cigar in between your red-painted lips, bringing the flame of your lighter to the end and hollowing your cheeks until smoke exits from the corner of your mouth. Bucky feels blood travel south as his eyes glaze over your hand grab the cigar out of your mouth and blow out a long string of smoke.

“I guess we’ll be in touch then,” Sam stands and Bucky follows after.

“My sister’s wearing blue, so find yourself a nice tie.” You call out, lifting your feet up to cross them on the desk, dress rising and showing your legs.

Bucky blushes, and then laughs as he exits when he hears you, in a deep and more exaggerated accent than your own, “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in!”

…

The morning of the party, Sam and Bucky pick you up from your house, planning to take you into New York to discuss final details before tonight.

You get in the passenger seat, Sam offering it to you and climbing in the backseat. As Bucky begins to drive off, your phone rings.

“I told you to leave that.” Bucky says, telling you explicitly to leave electronics here to prevent anyone finding out where you are, and also to avoid any distractions.

“Wanted to see what you’d about it, Sarge,” You wink at him, pulling out a flip phone and answering the call.

“Yeah… Uh huh… He what? Are you fucking kidding me?... Alright… Tell him not to move a fucking muscle.” You hang up, slamming the phone closed.

“Stop at the facility for a sec, I gotta take care of something.” Bucky sighs and turns away from the route to head to your facility.

“Bucky’s going to be going with you tonight, by the way, he’ll be in disguise. Just in case anything goes wrong.” Sam tells you, not really caring anymore about having to make a stop for you to take care of whatever business you need to take care of.

Your only response is a hum as Bucky can feel the anger radiating off your now tense body.

You slam the car door shut as Bucky parks behind a garbage truck outside, not even waiting for him to fully put the car in park before you exit.

Him and Sam follow quickly behind you to see what’s going on. You enter through a side door that leads to a large room, a garage for the trucks, Bucky assumes.

There’s a large truck inside, and racks of suits wrapped in plastic scattered around. A younger man stands near the truck as your crew peruses around the racks, he couldn’t be older than twenty-five years old. Your heels click on the ground as you approach, slowing down as you glance between the suits and the young man. Bucky and Sam hang around a few feet behind your trail.

You stop, fuming, staring at the man before you speak, “You wanna tell me what the fuck happened?”

“I -” He begins, but you cut him off, raising an open hand at him.

“Actually, I don’t even want to hear your fucking voice right now. Because if what I heard you did is true; if what you did to Vinny’s guy is true, you’re gonna be a fuck load of trouble.”

“Can I -”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“But -”

“I said shut the fuck up, Christopher! What part of that don’t you understand?” You yell, and even Bucky feels intimidated.

You turn to your crew, “What the fuck happened.” You demand, more than ask.

“Kid says he tried to take the truck, Vinny’s guy had a gun that fell outta the seat, went off, shot him.” One of the men summarizes, not looking up from the rack of suits.

You raise a manicured hand to pinch between your eyes, “You keep me skinny, Christopher, with all the fucking stress you cause me.”

“Would you let me explain?” He tries.

“If you don’t do as I told you and shut your fucking mouth, you’re gonna be buried with two assholes,” You threaten before continuing.

“They were fuckin’ suits! All you had to do was take the truck! How did you fuck that up -” You stop yourself and sigh, attempting to calm yourself down.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna take all this shit, you’re gonna take it back to Vinny, and you’re gonna tell him what happened yourself.” You finish.

“Marone!” He exclaims, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Enough with the theatrics! You’re lucky I don’t put a bullet in your ass! Now, I don’t see you grabbing that rack and that rack and that rack and putting it back in the truck!” You wave your arms around the room.

The kid sighs and begins grabbing the racks one by one and rolling them back in the truck.

“Would it be such a shame if they all went back?” An older man from your crew asks, already wearing one of the expensive suits. You scoff and laugh.

“Bucky, pick yourself somethin’ nice for tonight,'' You turn to face him, and he jumps at the sound of your now calmer voice being directed at him, as opposed to the harsh one used on Christopher, “On me.” You wink.

...

Sam and Bucky sit on the bed and watch as you get ready. A small apartment near the party that’s already been swept for bugs. A favor, you called it, from someone you know.

They don’t question it.

“You and Bucky will go in together and I’ll be waiting at a secondary location watching and listening to everything.”

Bucky can’t tear his eyes away from your dress. A mermaid dress, he thinks it is, black and tight and hugging you in all the right places, curving around your ass and sleeveless at the top, allowing you to show off a nice necklace and your cleavage. It’s an understatement to say that he’ll enjoy accompanying you tonight, even if it’s in a costume.

His mother probably would’ve loved it if he would’ve gotten with someone like you. Someone who loves their family, a spitfire that wouldn’t take any of his shit, and whose god damn gorgeous. She might’ve had to wash your mouth out with soap, though.

“So, why is Bucky goin’ again?”

“Safety.” Bucky answers.

“Is he going for my safety or am I going for his?” You tease, finishing the last few curls of your hair, smoke coming from the iron after each time you pull your hair away from it.

“Once you find our guy, get talking with him and see if you can get him to make you an offer,” He begins.

“One I can’t refuse?”

“Then, you’ll try and get him alone, see if he’ll show you the serums, and once you do, we’ll be taking care of the rest.” Sam finishes explaining.

Bucky plucks a box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a pair of diamond earrings. One, a camera, and the other, a microphone. You’re also given a comm to hide in your ear so both him and Sam can hear everything and you can hear them.

“Easy - peasy.” You respond.

The ballroom is lively, loud music and people everywhere, and Bucky attunes all the action overwhelming him to a sweat and not that fact that you’re pressed up against him, his arm wrapped around your waist.

About a hundred different people come up to greet you, asking about your family, offering you drinks and food. Bucky can see right through all of them though; they’re all putting on the act out of fear. Everyone’s attention is on you, and Bucky’s sure if he wasn’t in disguise right now, no one would even notice.

You bring him to the middle of the crowd and he can’t be surprised when you start to dance with him, pulling at his arms to get him to loosen up. He complies, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close as the two of you move together.

“I’ll let you know when I spot him.” He tells you, voice causing goosebumps to rise on your neck; goosebumps that he notices but doesn’t point out.

It only takes a song or two before he spots who he’s looking for and sends you over, making sure your com is on, and choosing to stick by the bar, giving him a good view of you and allowing himself a break of having your body pressed against his.

He’s impressed listening to you talk to this guy, voice smooth and sultry, yet still commanding.

He knows there was a lot of talk when you took position as boss; not a lot of people in the mob took you seriously and didn’t think you or a woman in general would be good in that kind of position in power. So, you use that to your advantage to get shit done, and Bucky applauds you for that.

It’s not long before the guy offers to go somewhere more private to discuss business and Bucky follows far behind, Sam praising you through the coms from where he waits in the car outside, watching through the camera in your earring.

Bucky waits outside of a closed office door upstairs, listening to the conversation through the coms but hearing your exclamation through the door when the guys give you his asking price.

“5 mil each?! What do you take me for, some kinda stunad?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“Take it or leave it, yeah, I can put a bullet between your eyes and take it, alright.”

“Stop messing around and take the offer, it’s not real anyway!” Sam tells you, not wanting to lose their chance on the serums.

You ignore him prioritizing your need for respect over the stupid mission, “How do I know these aren’t Kool-Aid pouches poured in glass bottles?”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to test ‘em out for you.” The guy scoffs.

“Stronzo. You’re outta your fucking mind offering me that.”

“I’ll lower the price for you if you give me a little dance, how ‘bout that?”

“Vaffanculo.” You curse at him.

“Up yours, lady!” He yells back, and Sam sees through the camera, he grabs at you.

“Buck, get in there.” Sam tells him, and it only takes Bucky a second to kick open the door.

He’s a bit taken aback when he not only sees the case of serums out on the table, but you holding the man bent over the small table in the middle of the room next to the serums, gun held to the back of his head.

He very quickly decides that you’re fine and moves to grab the serums, closing the case and holding it securely in his left hand.

“Don’t kill the guy.”

You stay silent and Bucky looks at you again. He can almost see the steam coming out of your ears and he notices a small cut on your cheek bone. He looks down to the man’s cowering figure and notices a large ring on his hand.

You mumble something in Italian to the man, a threat of some kind that Bucky can guess given how the man shuts his eyes and shakes a bit under your hold. Sam finally enters the room, military grade handcuffs in hand.

“Feds are on their way, get her out of here.” He tells Bucky.

You slowly lift the gun off the man’s head and stand up straighter, walking over to brush past Bucky in the direction of the back door.

He makes eye contact with Sam and gives him a nod before following after you, watching as you scrunch up the bottom of your dress to replace the gun in an ankle holster. Once outside, he stops you under a street light near the car and raises his hand to look at your cheek.

“We gotta get going,” You swat at his hand.

“You’re still bleeding.” He says, using his thumb to brush away the line of blood, smearing a red tinge on your skin.

He looks into your eyes and for a second he sees the tough exterior drop. The face of someone who got smacked across the cheek all for mouthing off at some asshole.

Your vulnerability doesn’t last long, though, as you sniff and walk towards the car, opening the passenger door and sitting inside before Bucky can make it over there to open the door for you.

The drive back to the apartment is silent, and Bucky doesn’t know what to do or say to fill the silence. Stepping into the apartment, you immediately go to change and collect your things. Bucky moves to the bathroom to look for a first aid kit of some kind.

He meets you in the room and you’re now in cotton pants and a large t-shirt, sandals on your feet showing the bright red color of your toenails and the lines indented in your skin from how tight your heels were. You’re hanging up the dress and zipping it back in the cover when Bucky drops the first aid kit on the bed.

“Christ, it’s only a small cut.” You mumble.

“Just - Let me, would you?”

He takes out the liquid of disinfectant and soaks a cotton pad, cleaning off your cheek bone with it before covering it with healing ointment and a bandaid.

You don’t thank him when he finishes and he huffs as he closes the kit, “When do you drop the act, huh?”

“I don’t.”

“Really?” Bucky asks in annoyed disbelief.

“No. People tend to try and have me whacked when I drop the act.”

He sighs, “So, what, nobody ever takes care of you? Treats you? You don’t have any days off? Time to be yourself?”

“This lifestyle doesn’t really allow me to have days off, Sergeant Barnes.” You snap, gathering the dress in your hands and turning to face him completely.

“Take me home, I’m tired and my feet hurt.”

You leave him in the room and he waits an extra few seconds before dropping the conversation and following you out.

...

Bucky opens the back door to the environmental facility with his right hand and sees the door to your office open, you and your crew sitting together surrounded by cigar smoke and he can hear a TV on.

“Sir, please step into the vehicle.”

“Like the cop would be callin’ this asshole Sir if the fuckin’ cameras weren’t around!” You wave a hand at the TV, not yet seeing Bucky standing there.

He finds it funny that the gnarliest criminals - the literal Mafia - spend their time watching shitty, scripted cop shows.

It’s been about two weeks since the mission with you where you retrieved the serums. Sam went to prom with your sister five days ago, which was hilarious for him, especially when he got photo prints of different sizes in the mail at his apartment. He didn’t bother thinking about how you found his address.

One of the men sitting next to you glances his way and sees him standing there, smirking at the vision of him; hair combed slightly back and to the side, and a large bouquet of flowers in his right hand and a small paper box in his left.

“You got company, Boss.” He says.

You look over to the doorway and your jaw drops in an open-mouthed smile.

“Look at googootz! Now this is a man that knows how to treat a lady, are you boys paying attention?” You tease, scurrying over to him and pinching one of his cheeks, resting your free hand on his large bicep to guide him into the room, the rest of your crew ushering out to give the two of you privacy.

“What’s in the box?”

“Cannoli.”

You throw your head back with an exaggerated moan, “You know the way to an Italian woman’s heart, Sergeant Barnes. What’s with all the gifts?”

“Thought I’d treat you.” Is all his response is.

You narrow your eyes at him and stand up a little straighter, crossing your arms over your chest.

The last conversation before he dropped you off that night hasn’t escaped his mind. He understands the difficulties of life - how it’s hard to find time for yourself among the busy schedule that is existing. He catches himself sometimes, too, forcing his body to run with no sleep, burning through all of his energy until he’s completely drained and blaming it on life.

But life’s not always like that. Life allows for days off. For treats. For a bit of kindness. And Bucky’s come to show you just that.

“What, a beautiful woman like you never received flowers and pastries before?” He says, taking a half-step forward to be close enough to look you closer in the eyes.

“Are you flirting with me?” You whisper in amusement.

His eyes glance away from yours to look down at your red-painted lips. He gives you a shy smirk, really turning up the charm. For a big, bad, boss, you’re pretty easy to break down.

“Let me take you out tonight.”

“Maybe I’ve got plans.”

“Cancel ‘em.”

“What makes you think you’re worth canceling plans for?”

“Why don’t you trust me and find out?”

“You should know by now, Sergeant Barnes, that I don’t trust.”

He doesn’t respond for a moment, setting the box of cannoli on your desk before reaching his now free hand up to your face, using his finger to brush away a stray hair and push it behind your ear.

He then takes a hold of one of your hands, turning it over to place a kiss on the top of it, before wrapping your fingers around the flowers in his other hand, forcing you to take them.

“No restaurant you’ve been to a hundred times over, no drama, no business. Just a man trying to treat a lady.” You look down at the flowers before meeting his eyes again.

“I get to pick the place.”

“No.”

“The kind of food.”

“No.”

“The -”

“No. Let me take care of everything.” Bucky insists, determined to get you to give up control for the first time in what he can only imagine has been a very long time.

Bucky knows better than anyone how terrifying it is to give up control. It was terrifying when he was forced to give up control, his free will taken away from him in the war for decades upon decades, but it’s terrifying even now when he has to do it as a free man. It makes a person vulnerable. When was the last time you were allowed to be vulnerable for somebody?

“I’m gonna pick you up here at six. Wear something nice and leave the executive attitude at home.” He finishes, leaving you with the flowers and cannoli before returning back outside, ignoring the stares he receives from you crew who wait patiently outside your office.

He feels your eyes follow him at the door, and he can’t wait to sweep you off your feet tonight.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes mob au #bucky barnes x mobboss!reader #mob au #marvel #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes oneshot #even tho bucky wants her to give up control we all know he prob likes being yelled atin italian #and that the real reason he wants to take you out

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