#and it also wasn't on them in the past

[twisting-in-wonderland]

He may be. slightly jealous of how well jack and deuce work together in their club.......

(not that he'd admit that---)

('extra' under readmore)

there is no peace for Ace..................

#twst #twisted wonderland #deuce spade #jack howl #ace trappola #jamil viper #floyd leech #art #ram's art #i drew this back in Ace's clubwear showcase--- #i was manifesting luck for me to get floyd's card in the future---- #i wasn't gonna post it but i grew fond of it................ so here it is lol #i. have a specific indulgent headcanon of the basketball club actually being pretty close pals past the. NRC-ness of them all---- #but in canon they can and will cause problems for each other lol #well. jamil if he's really annoyed - ace occasionally - and floyd. well you know-------- #also yes i didnt bother drawing all the stuff on the basketball clothes ..................i didnt want to .................. #also also..... artists that draw jamil well - tell me your secrets....................................

[poisonousquinzel]

if y'all ever want a bit of modern harlivy angst that ends happy and doesn't feel laced with ooc toxicity in the like "oh the writer's apparent reference for ivy's characteristics in their relationship is plant ivy and that's it wow..." I'd recommend their little story from DC's Harley Quinn Romances cause <33333 it's very special to me

they make me unreasonably emotional

Ivy after reading Harley's au fic where she gets to punch Joker with her at prom:

#girlies really went and started making out in a rare flower very iconic #and the comment about ofc a plant would come before me 😭😭😭😭 because everything has always come before her in past relationships #so she shouldn't be surprised #but like it was only So important to get there on time so Harley could have the full experience of HER present #and like the way Ivy wasn't expecting her here #so she was fully ready to flat out take the whole ass plant back to her just so she could see it bloom #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #poison ivy #pamela isley #dc comics #harlivy #also there are full pages of the fic thats why it seems abrupt in the parts posted where Harley's asking if she's listening #there's time between them skdjsks #tw clown boy #even tho he is just being humiliated <3 skdjskks

[shesnake]

i also think by fridging tante heleen they took a lot away from inej’s personal journey, the manipulation and abuse she experienced, the horror of being caught back in those fake silks, the triumph stealing the jewel right off her neck, all these things inej worked through herself and did for herself in the books become something solely for kaz to save her from, and sure he’s always played a part in her freedom but those steps were really important for inej to work through her trauma originally. consolidating inej’s trauma from heleen/the menagerie and his own into the one villain who was already always his to vanquish was such a bad move

#shadow and bone #sab spoilers #inej ghafa #and like. show inej is at a stage where she's ready because kaz dealt with all of it for her and she's just waiting for him to catch up #while kaz has seemingly regressed further back not just despite but perhaps even BECAUSE he finally achieved his goals??? #they're so out of sync it's all out of order i can't forgive this sorry #six of crows #i also do kind of hate that she wasn't there when it happened...... #sure it could have been about inej choosing her future while he takes care of their past but then they made it into a fight between them #but also i can't imagine her being there it was already so awkward seeing nina and jesper quietly waiting at the bar

[mintjeru]

chibifies your joongdoks 💕

open for better quality | no reposts

#kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #joongdok #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #fanart #myart #doodle #orv progress: read past the 5th catastrophe part last night and cried. very interested in seeing where hsy and ysh's stories go #you know i've got it bad for these two when i already have a handful of songs i associate w/ them #also hi to all my new followers ahhh i really wasn't expecting this much interaction from my prev post!! #i literally just got here but everyone is so nice ;u;

[uncanny-tranny]

I decided to go through my old warm-up notebooks from my honours english class and in one of the warm-up prompts, I said I wanted my superpower to be "controlling the effects of [my] puberty," and I'm glad to say that I've gotten that superpower. It took a very long time, but that's a superpower I can check off my list

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #ngl though i felt my very soul wince while reading some of them (including that) #in my old self's defense: i was incredibly dysphoric and had Many Unresolved Issues #i also wasn't really masking in that class and didn't know i should probably not be honest with my notebook #my teacher said that she'd only grade warm-ups we wanted graded and she'd only *potentially* read others 'for fun' #also i always didn't like the 'what superpower would YOU want?' question because. it just annoyed me to know it's impossible to have #(besides the puberty superpower lmao) #as much as i believe in being kind to your past self/selves that doesn't mean i'm not cringing about it 😭 #just so long as you don't turn the cringe into self-hatred i suppose #you cannot hate yourself into being better♡♡ #WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IN ONE OF THE WARM-UPS I WROTE ABOUT A LESBIAN ROBOT #NEVER MIND I'M DONE CRINGING #man i should make that into a proper short story like. what a concept

[myreia]

— v. raison d'être

It was never going to last. They knew it from the beginning, all of them. Their time in the First was temporary, fleeting. For some, that would have been enough to give pause, to keep distance. For them, it made these moments all the more precious—even when it was difficult, even when it was unfair. Ryne knows they are both proud of her. That will never change, even when they live in separate worlds. It is a bittersweet thing to say goodbye, to close one chapter and begin the next. But change is necessary, a fundamental aspect of life. There is no sense in clinging to the past when the future—with all its countless possibilities—lies ahead. There is no looking back. Only forwards.

#ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #ff14 #gpose #gposers #warrior of light #thancred waters #ryne waters #wolcred #wolcred week #aureia malathar #oc tag #myreia screenshots #aurcred 2024 #not me putting Aur in scouting gear and then giving her a rdm weapon 😔... which you can barely even see LOL #ryne looks like she's almost the same height as aur because of the angle but she's really not 😭 #she's! so! tiny!!!! #anyway i don't think this is an actual scene or anything it's just - an impression of how they are at the end of 5.3. #i tried making this dreamlike and hazy but idk if it worked i regret having too much DOF and blurring out the stars #this is more ryne's POV than either of theirs - aureia's the one who can stay he's the one who has to leave #there's grief in that acceptance and it's bittersweet but it's also happy in a way #anyway aur and thancred's individual relationships with ryne is the glue of their relationship in shb #i don't think they would have gotten past their issues if not for her #what they have at the end of 5.0. + start of eden gives them a couple months of feeling like a normal family #joke's on them they're not normal nothing is normal the more they try to make things normal the more it's going to crash #the moment of reprieve was good but it was a bit of a fantasy and it wasn't going to last #urianger is here in spirit I'M SO SORRY HE SHOULD BE HERE HE'S PART OF THIS TOO 😭 #i was too sleepy to pose a 4th character rip #urrrgghhh anyway i have so much to say about how lakeland is Aureia's home now and it's Ryne's home too but he can't be there byeeeeee 🙃 #shadowbringers spoilers

[coquelicoq]

i've been dying for a poll option ever since i saw my followers' answers to that text post from february 2022 asking people whether they pronounce beloved as "be-lov-ed" or "be-loved". many people were emphatic about only using one option, and many others use both but were not always able to articulate when they use 2 syllables vs. 3. so out of the goodness of my heart and my insatiable lust for knowledge i have gone through the notes on that post and written down some likely contenders! you're welcome!!!!

BEFORE YOU ANSWER! think about how you would pronounce beloved in the following syntactic contexts:

noun, talking directly to the beloved: hey there beloved

noun, talking about rather than to the beloved: my beloved lives in a pineapple under the sea

adjective in a noun phrase: my beloved x lives in a pineapple under the sea

verb participle: x is beloved by y

okay poll time! there are no wrong answers!! and apologies in advance if i didn't capture your truth, i only had 10 options and life is a rich tapestry!!

#oh man i could have easily come up with another 5-8 options but they cap you at 10. which is probably a good thing #one person said they say 'my be-lov-ed x' but 'my much be-loved x'. the only difference being the 'much'. couldn't fit that one on here #someone else said they use 3 syllables in a possessive noun phrase (my be-lov-ed x) but 2 if it's not possessive (the be-loved x) #one person said it depends on whether it's past or present & i wasn't exactly sure what that meant. 'x is beloved' vs. 'x was beloved'? #i also think there's likely a distinction for some people between 'x was beloved' and 'x was beloved by y' but couldn't get into that #oh and then there's 'beloved by' vs. 'beloved of' #and since some of these are syntactic distinctions and some are semantic or otherwise i'm sure there's a whole matrix of combinations #like '3-syll noun if it's a person but 2 if it's a thing. 2-syll adjective/verb participle for both people and things' #that was beyond the scope of this poll lol #but mostly why i'm so curious is because people will very emphatically say something that might not mean what they think it means #like for instance i got the impression that at least some of the people saying 'be-lov-ed when i'm talking to them‚ be-loved when i'm #talking about them' actually mean they use be-lov-ed as a noun and be-loved otherwise #and some of the people saying 'always 2 syllables' probably have exceptions that they weren't thinking of at the moment #in particular 'dearly beloved' #and i'm very curious to know if 3-syllable people still use 3 syllables in the construction 'he was beloved by all' #so i think people's answers might change when given a list of more detailed options #fun with pronunciation #prosody #my posts #also i stressed for so long about what to call beloved in the 'x is beloved by y' construction #but settled on verb participle because i think it's fairly descriptive and accurate #so hopefully that's not too confusing? like it is a verb participle but for a verb that doesn't exist anymore (other than the participle)? #and even in 'my beloved x' beloved is a verb participle being used as an adjective if you're thinking more etymologically #but a lot of people were distinguishing 'be-loved as a verb' from other forms and i assume what they meant by that was 'x is beloved'

[yardsards]

a thing i enjoy: putting characters that aren't even aro (like not even in a headcanon way) in a qpr. because some allo people irl can be happy in qprs too. bc qprs aren't just an offbrand replacement for romance, created just for ppl who can't have "the real thing" to settle for

#eliot posts #i just remembered one of my old fics #which is about two characters getting into a qpr #(though they're both pretty young and i don't think spend much time online so they don't quite know The Word For It yet) #and while i actually don't have any solid headcanons for either of them i decided to make one be bi for that one #and he talked about how he's had crushes before and doesn't have a crush on that other character #but wants to spend the rest of his life with them nonetheless #very based of past me #also reading back on this fic wow i REALLY chanelled a lot of my teenaged self's feelings into it #tho i wasn't in a qpr it's like. i put a lot of my aro fears and feelings about my friends into the dialogue #i wrote the fic just like a year ago but had forgotten a lot of it and was pleasantly surprised rereading it

[welcometogrouchland]

im so predictable. time skip huntlow

[ID: a digital drawing of Hunter and Willow from the owl house in their epilogue designs. The image is a redraw of the "girl kissing guy against a fence" meme. Willow holds Hunter up against a wall of vines and kisses him, while he grabs onto the wall behind him. There's a cartoonist "smooch" onomatopoeia written between the two and the background is orange. End ID]

Had to fulfill this request in the most obnoxious way possible. This is what timeskip Huntlow was made for, in my eyes <3

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #willow park #huntlow #watching and dreaming #i wasn't originally gonna use my texture brush for the lines #but it got me out of the ''dont wanna go past the sketch in case i ruin it'' stage. so ultimately I'm cool w it #also listen I'm. not good at drawing kisses #i do not understand how 2 draw them. but i tried VERY hard here 😭 #yeah she's kinda just kissing his mouth and hes not really kissing back but it's fine. it's in character #i think this is good huntlow art bc when i showed it to izzy she leaned forward until her face touched the screen #and then she started air-punching me #that's a top tier friend review and that's all i need #also no shading bc ha. hahahaha. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah #no <3 #<- i am very tired <3

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Amethio sweetie you're not beating the 'related to Gibeon' allegations anytime soon fr

#fluff binges !!! #(my god the past few days have been Absolutely Awful I need to unwind anyhow sdkjfsndfs back to the comfort series) #there's something so poetic in how Hamber assumes this mentor/grandfather-like role to Amethio #while at the same time we're seeing Diana and Liko's bond at the forefront throughout the ep #the parallels between them....... Hamber actively encouraging that thirst for power while Diana praises Liko's continuous growth........... #Hamber's even amazed at Amethio 'playing dirty' in battles for once #Amethio's always been so by-the-books when it came to battling and even honorable in a sense by always striving for fairness- #-between him and Friede (insisting on one-on-one even when he has two mons on hand etc.) #BUT NOW Hamber wants to see more of that sinister corrupted side to that want for power and it's like ooouUUH........ OOOUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #man is a catalyst in intensifying Amethio's corruption arc he ain't trying to save him he wants him to go nuts with this SDJFHSHJDNFS #AND HONESTLY??????????????THAT'S SO INTERESTING #I'm also taking that Gibeon namedrop here as a sign that him and Amethio coooould be father and son #like Gibeon wasn't even that disappointed with him losing against Rayquaza he went all like “what did you FEEL" #WHAT AN ODD QUESTION TO ASK CONSIDERING HOW TERAPAGOS REPEATEDLY SCREAMED AT THE BOY LIKE HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #AND SUPPOSEDLY BOTH TERAPAGOS AND RAYQUAZA ARE THE KEYS TO REACHING RAKUA SO HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #imagine if Rakua's in space hence it requiring Rayquaza to accessJSHDAKSNDKASNDSD /LH /J #MORE PALPABLY IT MIIIGHT BE IN A DIFFERENT TIME PERIOD ENTIRELY BECAUSE OF TERAPAGOS BUT IMAGINESDJKFSNJDFN #pokemon #pokemon horizons #anipoke #pokeani #amethio #explorer amethio #hamber #explorer hamber #master gibeon

[averlym]

some very very quick costume shorthands!

#&juliet #had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah #rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk #this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins #which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy #made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh #lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well. #like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!! #also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands #which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/ #oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh. #angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that #also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections. #also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo #also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh #im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so #spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!! #i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no #there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops #tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals! #so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think #<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>

[dailykeiji]

agony

#keiji thinking about a reason for living is so sad. i'm sad #he was finally thinking. about a reason for Living..... one that wasn't just about punishing himself for the things he did in the past #and right as he starts thinking about Living and his friends and how he wants to escape with all of them.... AUGHHH i'm gonna DIE!!!! #also oouhh. nuts to living in despair forever........ #i like how he says that. like he's trying to say something cool and leaderly like sara but because he's keiji it just comes out super goofy #daiji original

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks? #like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit' #the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true) #and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic' #and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't? #you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong? #and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way' #in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way. #and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally. #I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do. #.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!! #now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist #but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all #those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again? #(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do) #BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit #like TENFOLD now #it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode #plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am? #also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism? #it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always #the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn #it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself #this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry #this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past #this is another reason I fucking hate florida #because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment #and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that. #all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid #and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again #tw vent post #tw racism #tw past racism #but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again #fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun

[caimitos]

saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad

#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries #it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc #ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop #like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions #cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt #you know how it goes #vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own #students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country #until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem #this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL #our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries! #but the mental image is a bit funny #vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa #i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med #expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc #anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history #i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3) #as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me) #lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc #theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly #being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her #lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao #years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth #cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination.... #I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess #but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh. #skl.txt