#and im gonna have to be productive even after that fucking dream

[skyeateyourdonuts]

teaaaaaas tiimee

#i am. exhausted?? #like i knew i was sleep deprived but whoa #i slept so much #and im gonna have to be productive even after that fucking dream #im honestly rlly embarrassed but i couldnt help it?? #and besides i reap the consequences via shaking and bad dreams #well And starvation and dehydration :T #i am actually truly weak lmao im gonna shake till i eat smth filling #honestly thats probs why i slept so long too #bcni just felt weaker every time i woke up so i just stayed down #i do often do that its not a good habit and for some reason gives me mad chest pain #i rlly want a hug #idk why i just need a lil cracked apart #and a hug would squeeze me back together #begrudgingly i need to srsly get up #the rest of my body is waking up and going oh god we feel like garbage and im gonna ache for a bit #maaaaaan :// #hopefully i can take advantage of not being sleep deprived at least lmao #but not in a stay up late again for days way or its just a repeat #i need to bounce back from that dream that fucked with me #anyyyywayyss

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if...they were teachers part 2

ANON I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED UR REQUEST IM SO SORRY IM GONNA CRY BUT here it is :D with techno too :) please people send in some requests for meee check out part 1 here!

techno: english (with 1 mythology class for seniors): - hates his english classes wishes he could just teach mythology - would make all the students do a little project on a greek mythology story - rivalry with mr soot  - “ill give u each 10 dollars if u go to mr soots class tmrw talkin about how im a better teacher” - supports each and every kid no matter WHAT even if its not english related - holds detention in his room cause no one wants to fuck with him - like dream he doesnt anyone to get fucked over his english class so he hosts after school office hours like its college - has read all the classic novels and makes his classes read them. he wont move to something else unless some kid IS REALLY passionate about it - “ranboo we will not be reading the diary of a wimpy kid series even if you resonate with greg heffley on an emotional level” - BUT for his english classes he makes them do a general book report project so he can see and appreciate his student’s taste in books  - albeit not the biggest fan of romance novels but knows it ends with us for some reason - brings all the projects home and keeps them in a big storage bin. he loves showing them off to future classes and even you - light. acadmeia. dresses formal, long sleeves, hair tamed, glasses on the bridge of his nose - “tommy please stop swearing. tubbo calm down?” - hold detention with him cause no one fucks with mr blade

phil: principal - best principal ever - has a great relationship with all the staff tbh  - wilbur and techno and tommy arent his sons wdym - no ones rlly scared of getting sent to the principals cause like yk theyre like “oh phil??? hes nice”  - everyone calls him phil - ok i lied everyone BUT tommy isnt scared of going to phils - “I DONT WANT TO GO TO PHILS” “tommy calm down-” - hates the school board, lets the teachers teach what they believe is best for the students - can deal with the consequences - once wilbur got him to play a role in on of the school’s productions - big year for the dsmp high thespians tbh - is married to the guidance counselor kristin - who by the way is a GOOD COUNSELOR - actually does guidance - phils whole office is green - always wears his bucket hat tbh - besties with the other school’s principals

foolish: architecture/woodworking - i think this one was another “duhhh” one - builder man teaches builder children - starts the year with teaching them the basics of everything and then sort of lets them go wild  - is so scared some kid is gonna get hurt - has goggles in every corner of his room, gloves, whatever safety stuff  - loves it when kids work together to make some big project - IN YOUR GUYS’ HOME YOU HAVE A SHELF full of little sharks all the kids made for him its so cute - he makes stuff for you in class and uses it as an excuse to teach  - wears muscle t-s or normal t-shirts never dresses formal  - “it would get in the way of the wood?? duh” - id want to be in his class - is besties with mr jacobs and mr punz the random coach who shows up just to coach basketball in the winter - another teacher everyone simps over - once refused to teach tommy cause he didnt want to “catch a case”

i kinda want to write for the bench trio so here’s STUDENT EDITION

tommy: junior in high school, ta to mr wastakens math class  - tommy signed up to TA for wilbur but then wilbur said “absolutely not” so he got put into dream’s introduction to stats class  - but he also has dream for the period after that for his ap stats class - so hes stuck there for like 2 and a half hours  - dream groaned when he saw who his TA was - makes tommy grade papers and stuff but never tests  - he doesnt trust him with that - tommy is a good kid and usually doesnt disrupt class but when he does its hilarious - expect mr blade doesnt give a second shit about tommy in his class  - tommy is rlly good at drama and math (even though hed never admit hes good at math)  - his locker is a mess  - besties with tubs and ranboo ofc - phil is his father dont tell anyone - he is so adamant on walking home bc he doesnt want people to know that his family works there - always has his red jacket on  - never gets school lunches says they are cursed

tubbo: junior in high school, ta for mr quackity’s spanish class - tubbo likes quackity so he signed up to ta for his class - he isnt good at spanish tho- - quackity knows that but likes tubbo so he lets him be  - sapnap ADORES tubbo for some reason - “TOBY!!! WHATS UP!” “hi mr sapnap” - sapnap thinks tubbo is such a good kid - but  - mr notfound knows tubbo is a menace - “good morning toby” “good morning mr notfound *innocent*” “sit down and get started please” - SO FUNNY LMAO  - tubbo is a menace - pulls a bunch of pranks on the teachers but then the blame always ends on tommy somehow “wHAT- TUBBO DID IT” “no he didnt” - besties with tommy and ranboo ofc - tubbo is rlly good at science but isnt so hot at english - but mr blade is rlly nice and takes him time to help tubbo  - tubbo appreciates it so he gets mr blade a gift at christmas - mr blade teared up - runs thru the hall dragging tom and ranboo behind him no regrets - “STOP RUNNING THROUGH THE HALLS” “no” ranboo: junior in high school, ta for mr blades mythology class - lOVES ta-ing for mr blades class - mr blade kinda lets him chill in the back, stapling papers - no interaction whatsoever - he also now cant wait to take that class next year - mr blade refers to him as my protege a lot  - i hope i used that word right - besties with tommy and tubbo - all the teachers are nice to ranboo and kinda sorry that hes friends with tommy and tubbo LMFAO  - “hi ranboo u doing ok” “yes thank u mr jacobs” “RANBOO! LETS GO! PUDDING DAY IN THE CAFETERIA” “thats my cue mr jacobs” - ranboo usually doesnt get into trouble when he does oh boy its good - not pranks on teachers but school wide pranks - is shy but when someone picks on tommy and tubbo he GOES OFF - attacks them through words - when he gets comfortable in a class he lets out these small comments that get the whole room laughing - so not the class clown but people know hes funny and people respects him 

#technoblade x reader #philza minecraft x reader #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap x reader #georgenotfound x reader #quackity x reader #karl jacobs x reader #wilbur soot x reader

[peachoni]

_ Promise?

billy hargrove x fmreader

summary: billy is very seldom nice to you. but the truth behind the front he puts up is that he is deeply attracted to you. so when he sees a classmate touching you, he doesn’t like that very much and takes matters into his own hands to claim whats his.

content warning: mean billy, reader gets verbally harrassed by a classmate, violence/fighting, blood, wound tending (reader to billy), neil is mentioned/home abuse, kissing (might make another part idk)

an: I KNOWWW everyone is gonna say billy is a bad person but im delulu so pls let me live in a fantasy :)) like idk about everyone else but i feel like billy is a very sensitive person but he is just a product of his father/just grew up in a toxic home. IDKIDK IM RAMBLING

word count:  1.5k (not proofread) 

You wake up and open your eyes due to the trill sound of your alarm, the bright red numbers on the device flashed. Whining as you shut it off and opted to lay in bed for a few more minutes before your mother knocked on the door. “Honey wake up, breakfast is on the table.” she declared in which you just hummed before getting out of bed and headed downstairs.

Your mom asked you a few questions but you really didn’t have the energy to respond with much enthusiasm. After eating you heading back into your bedroom to get dressed, thinking of dressing a little nice today just to make yourself feel a little better. Slipping into a tight black dress with a white long sleeved half-top over it, white dainty leg warmers and black mary janes. You looked in the mirror and nodded softly in approval of your outfit, sitting down at your vanity to do a but of makeup so you didn’t look like you were running on fumes.

Soon leaving your home and you started your walk to school; you lived close so you didn’t mind the 10-15 minute walk every morning. Happy that you could just listen to music and be left to think.

Humming softly to ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac as you walked to your locker and grabbed things you needed, putting away things you didn’t. Before you knew it you felt yourself being pushed against the lockers, a soft groan coming from you because you knew who the culprit was before even turning around. “Morning to you too Hargrove.” you said before taking your headphones off and resting them around your neck. You closed your locker and turned on your heel to face Billy whom was walking around with his disciples as always.

“Uh huh. Tryin’ to impress today?” he asked and all you did was roll your eyes before putting your headphones over your ears again and walking to your first class. You didn’t even give Billy the time of day, knowing the attention is what he wanted. He wanted you to get mad. And you weren’t going to give into it.

You greeted the teacher as you walked into class and immediately took your seat. You liked this class apart from one significant detail. Billy sat next to you. Damn assigned seating. He sat beside him and you glanced over at him which he caught, knowing he did because a smirk was shown on his lips. “Like what you see princess?” he whispered and you couldn’t help but clench your thighs together but you played it off with a glare before you got to work.

Normally Billy’s pestering all class long doesn’t get to you but something just snapped. You just couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Jesus Christ Billy can you just shut the fuck up for 5 seconds?! I know you think your all that because ever girl bends over backwards to get fucked by you and you think the world owes you because of your home issues or whatever but guess what? The world doesn’t fucking revolve around you! We all have our baggage and I’m really not interested in whatever lack luster run down you have to give on what you think I am like or how my home life is. Just give it a fucking break already and stop acting like such a fucking child.” You said sternly which left his pretty blue eyes wide; not expecting an outburst like that from you. You scoffed at him before grabbing your things and excusing yourself from class. ‘Jesus I need a cigarette...’ you mumbled before the bell rang, signaling to head to your next class. Boy was it going to be along day.

When it was time for lunch, you made your way to the cafeteria like normal. But before you can enter you were stopped by Dale, some guy who is in your history class. You’ve exchanged words rarely so you have no clue why he is stopping you. “Can I help you?” you asked and he looked you up and down which made your stomach uneasy. “Yea I can think of a few things.” he said as he came a little closer to you which made you back up in response to his very obvious advance onto you. “Dale I think you should-” you started to speak but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. “No no no.. you listen to me now. You can’t just come to school dressed like a fucking slut and be shocked when a guy comes up to you.” he replied, a whine coming from you has his grip on your wrist tightened.

Before you knew it you were being pulled away by one of your girl friends. You looked back and saw Dale with blood covering his face, Billy wailing on him as his fists where covered in blood. As the situation deescalated you got away from your friends and chased after Billy, grabbing his shoulder softly. “Billy” you called out and he turned to face you. Holding his hands as you seethed at the wounds on them. “Come with me.” you whispered and Billy followed without even a word.

You decided to leave early, your excuse being you were both shaken up over the incident. The walk to your house was silent, tension so thick it could be cut with a knife. You brought Billy to your room and told him to wait there so you could grab everything to fix him up. He looked around your room from his seated position, a soft breath coming from him as he rolled his eyes. Your room exactly matched your personality. 

Billy averted his eyes back to his bloody knuckles when he heard your soft footsteps come closer to your bedroom. You sat beside him and grabbed the supplies you needed before peering up at him. “Umm. This is probably gonna sting a bit.” you warned to which he just nodded in response. Cleaning his wounds didn’t take long but you also tended to the cut on his lip. Trying to stay focused; but you found yourself admiring his features, looking into his eyes when you noticed he had been doing the same. The pair both cleared their throats and you got up to clean up all the bloodied supplies. 

“B-Billy... If you don’t mind he asking... I mean hell you don’t owe me an answer after the outburst in class today...” you vented before sighing heavily and sitting beside him. “Why did you do it? I mean... Why did you stand up for me?” you asked, a hint of fear in your voice because you’ve never seen Billy so angry before. Billy looked up seeming to you that he was just trying to process his words in a way that would be coherent. “Listen... I know that I uh- I’m not very nice to you. Ever. And you yelling at me earlier today kinda made me realize;” he started to explain before grabbing both of your hands. “That the reason I’m mean is because I’m scared of you getting to close and seeing... Me really... Dammit I know that probably doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense...” he vented and you tilted your head a bit, giving Billy a soft smile before reaching your hand out and cupping the side of his face gently. “Oh Billy..” You whispered before he eventually looked at you. “Y’know I do admit.. I really hate that you treat me the way you do everyday... But I have to admit that I’ve heard the rumor around school about your.. father. And I’ve seen you with a black eye before. I just thought it was just another stupid fight because y’know. Your Billy Hargrove.”

There was a long pause before you swiveled your body and sat directly in front of him; but he took the chance to speak first. “I just want to say that I’m sorry.. And that the reason I kept you at a distance is because I was afraid. Afraid of you seeing... me really... I know it might not mean anything and your more than welcome to just kick me out but... I like you...” he whispered as he looked into your eyes with those pretty baby blue of his that made you melt anytime you made eye contact. Your heart instantly melted because you could tell he was serious, not a doubt about a single thing he just said. He was truly being honest.

 Before he knew it your lips were on his, He wrapped his muscular arms your waist and pulled you into his lap with ease as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss; which you of course followed his lead with. “I’m gonna need you to promise..” you started before sitting up and looking into his eyes. “Promise that you wont push me away...” Those words hit him and he thought for a few seconds before nodding. He reached up and took one of his dangly spiked earrings off and handed it to you. “I promise.” he told you and you smiled before putting the earring on. The both of you laughing softly before laying in your bed, just drowning in each others company. 

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove angst

[torizcafe]

order #1 — "Hi!! Uhm Can I request Scaramouche and Pantalone Aftercare Hcs? I know your still new to all this but I saw your old account and I love your works!"

characters — Pantalone x Reader, Scaramouche x Reader

genre — Fluff, Semi-Nsfw

warnings — Semi-Suggestive, Sexual themes

notes — EEK! First post! Feeling kind of silly that its Semi-Nsfw but oshh... I cant wait to post more! Btw are we still like saying scaramouche or.. :3

Scaramouche —

Hmm okok so this is Scaramouche we're talking about right?

Wouldn't be surprised if he left to go get himself cleaned in another room and have someone else clean you..

BUT for the sake of this!!

This can go two ways..

I think he'd be really soft and cuddly... Little spoon scara..

Like he kind of uses sex as a way to let his anger out but like he knows that its also a way of showing love so he's scared to hurt you..

So like hes sure to give the best cuddles after and make sure he didn't actually hurt you..

You'd probably (better be) loving it but your all gross and sticky so your prying him off of you..

"You can take a bath later..."

Its final you like HAVE to stay there..

Like he has let down every single wall ever.

After napping he finally takes you to a bath..

I feel like he doesn't care as much to make it so 'Romantic' or 'Pretty' since hes tired but that doesn't mean the aftercare is any worse!!

You both would get in the bath because you both were sweaty and sticky and stuff..

More during the bath his mean facade comes back (sadly?)

The other way though...

Hes a total pain in the fucking ass and is attached to you but never letting you get anything done.

OVERALL!!! 9.5/10 because im biased! but if im honest 8/10 like SOFT SCARA....

Pantalone —

Okok so all I know, rich, business, man with hot man tiddies.

Hes like hella rich obvi so he has like 10 different people getting a bath ready

General Hc though he probably calls you darling.

Like he wouldn't leave you to do his own thing he takes the bath with you in-between his legs.

OR you take a nap while the bath is getting ready and he gets cleaned up then.

If hes inside the tub or not his hands and lips are all over you.

He probably doesn't even have to check for you being hurt. Infact you are FAR from hurt!

Those bite marks he left?? Whats that lmaoo

Infact for every Harbinger you'd probably have so many bite marks you don't bother covering them yk..

too much work if they're just gonna return the same night.

but litterly you'd be living my dream.

He'd have all the good products and your hair would be so fluffy...

Another general hc I think you guys would play with each others hair when cuddling...

Like he has hair thats long enough to do like something silly that couples do!

Okok overall rating... 9.8/10 0.2 points off because he’d probably have to cut it short because he has to go do some fatui paperwork..

tag listzz- None yet lmao

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #pantalone x reader #pantalone x reader smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x reader smut #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcannons #genshin impact smut #genshin smut

[ghostdoctor]

midoriya analysis because im fucking insane and hes insane

Midoriya analysis because I'm fucking insane and he's insane

Ps i won't be covering the movies bc I like to leave them as their own entities 

pps this contains spoilers

god okay so we all know that Midoriya has SOME kinda issue because... yk.... he was literally bullied and abused by his peers physically, emotionally, and mentally for all of his formative years and that's gonna FUCK SOMEONE UPPPP

but but but Midoriya so so obvi has a thing for escapism!!!! yeah, his quirk thing started before he was diagnosed as quirkless and then abused, but did you see how intense it got after he was abused??? how that was literally all he spent his time doing and how it was the only thing he was known for?? AND THEN. HE MEETS HIS IDOL WHO CRUSHES HIS LAST HOPE. and then said idol proceeds to try and build up an already destroyed boy (it doesn't work) because THEN we see even more escapism in UA because they make it so clear Midoriya spends so much time training and pushing himself to be a better hero because it's the only way he knows how to be useful and escape away from his reality of believing that's he's really not worth all that he's been given. Btw pls dont say that “midoriya is just ideally heroic he doesn't have a hero complex” this is an analysis for my opinion ty 

Midoriya can be viewed as a narcissist for many reasons as well but that is because he's a product of his environment. Honestly there's ways to show midoriya has a hero complex, is a narcissist, has self esteem issues, has a superiority complex, and more. Im slapping midoriya and going “This bad boy can fit sooo many issues it him” 

Another btw before you continue reading: I have really bad adhd and halfway through this forgot what I was writing about so my points get super blurry but I just wanted to state it here. I believe midoriya has severe self esteem issues and a hero complex. I can explain why concisely if anyone asks! 

Going by arcs now because I need some order to follow and regretfully can't just throw my thoughts about Midoriya at a wall and hope they stick (I will happily just spout nonsense at anyone who wants to listen): 

Pre ua-

Most of this I already covered in the above paragraph but I still wanna break down why Midoriya's childhood set him up for a hero complex and a love of escapism. As mentioned before, Midoriya has always had a love for analysis and heroes but it got much more intense after he experienced large bouts of trauma. You can see him isolating himself and getting completely absorbed into his analysis in multiple parts of the pre-UA sections of bnha. His hero complex stems from the fact that there genuinely was no one to save Midoriya. Because he knows what it's like to be alone without help, he takes it upon himself to save people (he basically says this himself too like my god this boy's hero complex is so so clear). Not to mention the fact that his abuser has been called a hero throughout his formative years. like….god….

All might training- 

And THEN all might destroys his dream by telling him he can't be a hero then LEAVES. Midoriya has not had a single good personal hero at this point. Like even his own mother doesn’t save him from this blatantly obvious abuse. So midoriya is just like. Left there to evaluate everything being broken in his life when he falls back on his escapism aka he walks to the scene of a hero feet because “[his] feet carried him [there]” ARE YOU KIDDING ME. he is literally doing something that brings him joy on autopilot. As a response to being told he can't do his life long goal by his idol. Following that he sees bakugou in pain and trouble and this is like right when the hero complex forms. The entire ‘feet moved before you can think’ IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!! He has NO self-preservation in this moment. AND THE ALL MIGHT PRAISES HIM FOR IT. literally cementing his hero complex as a ‘positive’ thing and not at all the self destructive thing it actually is. 

Following this all might tells midoriya he has to be the next symbol and that he has to be the one to make everyone feel safe. That is NOT a healthy mindset for a child to be in. Here Midoriya is told that he needs to protect everyone and this is where he starts to feel the need to be the one to fix everything, this is where he feels that everything is his fault. 

Usj-

Bro just got put into a hugely traumatic situation and did you see how he literally like blacked out when he went to protect Tsuyu? I’d also like to point out that at this point he's been told by all might that his lack of self preservation is a heroic quality. PLus plus plus being put into a situation like this would hurt your brain function so immensely, the adrenaline rush he must be having at this moment. 

Sports festival- 

Todoroki. Just the entirety of the todoroki thing. Someones gonna go “he was just doing the heroic thing, that makes him hero quality!!” BUT!!! I GUARENTEEEE MIdoriya saw some of himself in Todoroki then. Like, todorokis situation is ‘boy whos in bad situation with no one coming to save him because no one would believe him/step up against the number ½ hero’ and midoriya's situation as a kid was ‘boy whos in a bad situation and no one is coming to save him because no one would believe him and no one wants to help the quirkless kid’. So midoriya obviously took it upon himself to be the one to save todoroki and at this point he's had all mights words drained into him so he probably has taken it upon himself to save everyone in similar situations.

Hero killer- 

Speaking of people in similar situations: Iida! Sooo you're probably going “ghost. Iidas situation is NOTHING like midoriyas” and to that i say LET ME EXPLAINNNN because at this point iida has seen so many people be killed by stain that he more than likely believes no one can stop him but iida himself. This situation is ‘things are happening and no one is actively trying to stop it in the way I should, no one is coming to save this situation.’ so iida takes it upon himself and Midoriya sees this and recognizes it because of his own situation. 

Final exams- 

Bakugou. I have thoughts about this arc. Midoriya has no self preservation here at all. I could quite honestly say I believe midoriya is in some way suicidal. There is no ounce of non hero complex actions here. Midoriya takes it upon himself to save bakugou from failing the entire final exam even if bakugou doesn’t want that. And the their fight afterwards??? Where midoriya is like “youre all I look up to [bakugou]” (side note i hate calling him kacchan)???? WHERE IS YOUR SELF RESPECT MIDORIYA!!! BAKUGOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY FOR YEARS!!!!!! 

Hassaikai and Paranormal liberation-- 

Combining these because during both arcs midoriya shows absolutely ZEROOO self esteem and self preservation. These two arcs are combined because therye basically him on the brink of absolutely losing his shit and fully leaning into the hero complex.

Dark hero (so important r you kidding)-

R you serious rn..this is literally him going ‘no one else is fixing it so I WILL. in a dangerous way this IS the hero complex arc 

But it's also the most self centered arc midoriya has had. His entire childhood has taught him to rely on himself and only himself so it's a given that he would only think about himself when anything happens that he needs to take care of as he's the only one who's ever shown to care about himself and others for a large portion of his life. Midoriya is such a complex character but you genuinely can only tell if you look deeper than what bnha has on the surface of it which makes me sad. I’m not here to diss horis writing and world building skills-he's much better at it than me- I just wish he would go deeper into his characters issues than having them fixed in short spurts (momo)

#brief one line mention of being sucidal #midoriya is just. such a guy #he runs around my mind all the time #i hate him!!!! and i love him!!! #we r literally the same #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #this is highkey anti bakugou #i am just not a bakugou fan #sometimes hes okay but most of the time he SUCKS #midoriya izuku analysis #character analysis #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha character analysis

[taintedcigs]

1989 tv review, vault track rankings, my ratings and overall thoughts:

Welcome to New York — okay i honestly can’t believe I hold myself off and started w this. always thought this was a great opener and HONESTLY sounds really close w the og. I LOVE the production, not my fav song on the album though lol, 8/10

Blank Space — THIS SOUNDS SO CRISP OH MY GOD. there's something different from the og BUT I LOVE IT. 9/10

Style — THIS ALSO SOUNDS SO CRISP TOO. god i love the maturity in her voice SO GODDAMN MUCH. always will be one of my favs on this album. YOU GOT THAT!! JAMES DEAN!! DAYDREAM!! LOOK IN YOUR EYE!! just perfect. 9/10

Out of the Woods — the intro is a bit disappointing but this is one of my fav songs on this album SO I WILL LET IT SLIDE!! "OH I REMEMBER" is scratched into my brain FOREVER. 9/10

All You Had To Do Was Stay — THIS ONE SURPRISED ME SO BAD. I KNOW THIS SONG IS UNDERRATED BUT MY GOD THIS ONE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OG 10/10.

Shake it Off — serotonin. just makes me so goddamnn happy, THE UPDATED LAUGH IS SOO CUTE I LUV HER. so much better than og, like i swear im a shake it off fan despite not caring that much before LMAO.

I Wish You Would — OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I WILL SAY ABOUT JACK ANTONOFF AND THE PRODUCTION AT THE END (sorry). THIS IS SO GOOD. STOLEN VERSION DOES NOT EXIST, THATS HOW GOOD IT IS. 9.5/10

Bad Blood — the intro to this SONG is so different. KINDA Neutral about it but the whole song sounds very different !!1 8/10

Wildest Dreams — honestly i skipped bc ive been listening to this one for months anyway IM SORRY. but still 10/10 ofc !!!

How You Get The Girl — ALWAYS ONE OF M Y FAV SONGS. POP PERFECTION. just so FUCKING GOOD AND TV IS PERFECT. GOD TAYLOORRR ILY FOR THIS ONE. (also im thinking a steve fic for this? sorry i have to mesh my two hobbies together im insane) 10/10

This Love — also SKIPPED IM SORRYYY SUCH A GOOD SONG AND IVE BEEN LISTENING TO IT FOR MONTHS ALREADYY !!!

I Know Places — OH MY GOD SO PERFECT THIS IS MY TOP 3 ON 1989 AND... IM IN AWE... the GROWL (lmao) in and we run is PERFECTTT. god so good 10/10

Clean — 10/10. no words. im actually kind of sobbing. just makes me SO sad but relax. such a bittersweet song and i still think about the secret message for this song. "She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything." forever engraved in my BRAIN.

Wonderland — WONDERLAND TV AFTER CLEAN HITS SO WELL ALSO ONE OF MY FAAVOOORIES. "didn't you flash your GREEN eyes at me?" GEEEENNIUUUS! the OOOHHH hit so well. guys i just... so good. 10/10

You Are In Love — guys HOENSTLY SO GOOD. but im gonna keep this one short even tho this is also one of my favs img etting so impatient for vault tracks. 10/10 masterpiece im not kidding.

New Romantics — BABY WE'RE THE NEW ROMANTICS. COME ON, COME ALONG WITH MEEE. HEARTBREAK IS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, WE SING IT PROUDLYYY. another pop perfection. the production sounds so good in these deluxe songs omfg. 10/10 GUYS IM SO IMPATIEN T BYE IM GONNA LISTEN TO SLUT! OH MYG DO

Slut! — "if they call me a slut you know it might be worth it for once" OH MY GDO??? I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE ABOUT SLUT-SHAMING BUT BLONDIE JUST WENT THERE AND MADE IT A LOVE SONG LMAOO I LOVE HER 9/10

Say Don't Go — im sobbing, ugly crying. and screaming. say "don't go", i would stay forever if you say, "don't go" OH MY GOD IM IN TEARS 10/10

Now That We Don't Talk — "I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost, now that we don't talk" OH MY GOD??? even tho its so SHORT IT HITS SO GOOD HELP ME." And the only way back to my dignity Was to turn into a shrouded mystery" JUST FDUCKING CRAZYYY?? 9/10

Suburband Legends — OKAY THIS IS SO MIDNIGHTS CODED OMFG? the production sounds so mUCH like mastermind and i love that song. "And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" she just gets me!!! 9/10

Is It Over Now? — "Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin' Off of very tall somethings" OH MY FUCKING GOD???? shes so bella swan coded. IM CRYING SHES SO RELATABLE AND I THINK THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE OH MY GOD. 10/10

IM STILL TRYING TO PROCESS IT WHAT THE FUCK BUT OKAY MY RANKING FOR THE VAULTS:

Is It Over Now? OH MY GOD. SHE WAS SO CRAZY FOR THIS. THE LYRICS?? I HAVE TO LISTEN 2-3 MORE TIMES TO FULLY PROCESS IT. WHAT THE FUCK SO FUCKING GOOD.

Say Don't Go. ALSO?? IM SOBBING?? SO FUCKING GOOOD??

Suburban Legends. I LOVE THIS ONE SM SO MIDNIGHTS CODED.

Slut! ALSO REALLY GOOD. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL. A LOVE SONG?? TAYLOR SWIFT YOU ARE A CRAZY GENIUS.

5. Now That We Don't Talk. I LIKED THIS ONE AS WELL. JUST NOT AS MUCH AS THE OTHERS.

OVERALL; I think this is BY FAR my favorite re-recording. I love all of them with my entire heart but THIS ONE IS JUST SO SPECIAL AND IMM SOOO HAPPY TAYLOR FINALLY OWNS IT. JUST A MASTERPIECE. my only ONLY problem is some of the production in some of the songs. i loved the changes. and I LOVE what she did. and I LOVE JACK ANTONOFF FOR GIVING US AMAZING SONGS. but the production sounds a bit off in these songs :(( i think max martin and shellback should've also produced more of them. BUT LIKE I SAID. it has a new vibe and I LOVE IT. (i still think we shouldn't JUST have him on other projects but that is another topic) anyway 10/10 IM STILL SHAKING.

#em talks #taylor swift #1989 tv

[achingly-shy]

ttpd reactions from this morning when i couldn't post them <3

fortnight (feat. post malone): 

I WANNA KILL HER???? (that’s a lyric not me wanting to kill taylor)

I LOVE YOU ITS RUINING MMY LIFE

this beat is good

and post okayy

i wanna kill him?????? too????

okay post’s part isn’t bad! it’s at the end which i wasn’t expecting though

that was good!!!!!! okay i feel a lot better now

the tortured poet’s department

this is giving hey stephen intro

oh i love the high note it’s pretty

nofuckingbodyyy

CHARLIE PUTH????? HELPSFKSJFLKSJ

LUCY??? JACK????? the shoutouts omg

okay i like the bridge

THERES ANOTHER PART 

people put wedding rings on and that’s the closest my heart has come to exploding :(((( 

i love me a long song <3

who’s gonna hold you who’s gonna hold you gonna hold you

idk if these are the exact lyrics but i’m vibing!!!!!

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

okay get it beatttt

oh i LOVE the note hold on toyyyyyys and destroyyyyyyys

and overall so far the production is giving midnights more than anything else which ig makes sense but i was hoping for a little folklore idk

all these bridges are awesome though

i wish i had lyrics rn in front of me but this is the best i can do in class ☠️

down bad

OKAY IM SO READY FOR THIS ONE

what’s this sound omg?????

OOOOOOOH

in a cloud of what

rewind

i’m seeing if genius is unblocked on my chromebook i can’t do this

oh it just said sparkling dust lmaooo

idk what i heard the first time

i love how she says fuck it if i can’t have him

genius is blocked 🙁

cause fuck it i was in love……..so fuck you if i can’t have us…….

trying not to vibe in class is so hard skjfksjkfs

is this the most fucks in a taylor song ever??? slay girl i love that word too

so long, london

OH NO

i love these intro vocals omg

how much sad did you think i had think i had in me :((((

SO LONG LONDON YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE 💔

i stopped cpr after all it’s no use…..how long will we be a sad song before we were too far gone to bring back to life……

I’LL FIND SOMEONE

AND YPU SAID I ABANDONED TEH SHIP BUUT I WAS GOING DOWN WWITH IT OH MMY GODDDDDD

these lyrics are >>>>>

the way it’s both so long as in goodbye london and also so long as in a long time. genius actually

but daddy i love him

5:26 omgggg

i love the sound of this one but it’s hard for me to grasp all the lyrics without seeing them in front of me

“i’d rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning” ME TOO soooo relatable girlie

i love the way she goes up on bItching and moaning

and we’re not even halfway through omg

ohhhh yeah i really like this one

EVVEN MY DADDY JUST LOVES HIM

WEDDING?????

THIS IS SO FULL CIRCLE OMG

fresh out the slammer

GIRL OF HIS AMERICAN DREAMS

idk why that stood out to me 😭 probably because of so-american

since yk i hate america lmaoo

florida!!!

and the city reeks of drriving myself crazy yeahhhhhhh

FLORENCE POP OFFFFFF

i need to rewind i havven’t been paying attention to the lyrics

florida!!! 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 it’s one hell of a drug

i’m haunted but i’m feeling just fiiiiiiine (the vocals!!!!!!)

FUCK ME UP FLORIDAAA

OKAY ONE OF MY FAVES FOR SUREEEEe

guilty as sin?

okay this is chill

not any lyrics are standing out to me a bunch though

long-suffering propriety damn

what is he writing on her upper thigh i can’t tell what’s she’s saying lol

ranking these is so hard 😭

#ttpd lb #ttpd spoilers

[pertinax--loculos]

Word Find Tag

I was tagged by @ls-daydreams to find night, page, metal, blue and truth, and because I’m putting off doing anything productive (work, writing, exercise), I figured I’d have a look and see what pops up! ^_^ Fair warning: I’m probably gonna be taking from a variety of WIPs because that’s how I roll atm.

I’m gonna tag @winterandwords, @artdecosupernova-writing, @kaiusvnoir, @frostedlemonwriter, @words-after-midnight, @inkovert and @catchingbigfish (no pressure!) to find hand, yell, deal, wait and lose. Also gonna make this an OPEN TAG if you wanna search your WIP for those words and lemme know what you find! ^_^

Without further ado:

night (from AAH - Maddie POV)

Maddie woke to screaming alarms.

Nightmare scenario. Literally enough that it took her a few moments to realise that she wasn’t dreaming, that this was actually happening, that she was waking to red flashing lights and mechanical wailing filling her head.

The cryo chamber pulsed with the light, red, dark, red, dark. Even still locked inside Maddie could feel vibration under her feet. Her ship felt like it was being shaken apart. She blinked, trying to parse the heads-up display on the door to the chamber. Glowing words her brain wasn’t awake enough to understand. All-caps. Red like the light suffusing her chamber. Not a good sign.

Something pinched the side of her neck and a wash of cool flooded from the site. Emergency protocols. Drugs flushing her system to wake her up faster, to prepare her to deal with whatever was going on.

Her brain rebooted just in time for her to process the corridor in front of her sloughing away.

The shriek of the alarms redoubled. Maddie had a dizzying, terrifying moment of staring straight forward into the empty, star-spangled abyss before the bulkhead door snapped shut. Detritus torn free by the sudden depressurization dropped to the ground. The gravity drives were on.

page (___RISK IT)

My mind nattered at me as I did so. Why the fuck had Caden decided to run? In all of our dealings with him he’d never bothered. He’d dragged it out, yes, forced Ilya to the point of properly threatening actual bodily harm, but he’d always come through in the end. A combination of threats and bribery normally got us on the same page.

This case was really beginning to piss me off.

I rounded the corner of the building from the main street and nearly ran into Ilya. He looked at me, I looked at him, and he smacked a fist to his forehead.

“Not my fault,” I said quickly. “The fire escape was locked.”

“You are,” Ilya said, “The worst.”

metal (AAH - Haydyn POV)

Officer Flack took a step forward.

“You keep a civil tongue in that mouth or I’ll fucking remove it,” he said.

Verreynne spun back, and that sick smile was even more pronounced. “G’wan then. Give it yer best shot, Officer.”

Flack stepped forward again, then glanced down at Aaron and Haydyn. Something in the line of his jaw tightened. “Verreynne, I’m warning you—”

“Warn all you fucking like, you fucking crack, but why don’t you shut up about it til you grow the balls to actually fucking do it.”

Flack’s hand went to the bolter strapped to his leg. Haydyn clutched at Aaron’s arm with both hands. And Verreynne, back to running his hands over the consoles, murmured in a completely different voice, “Ah. There we go, gorgeous.”

A light switched on above the monitors that covered the front wall.

A moment later another flickered on to the left. Then the right, and again, and again, until a string of glowing green lights encircled the room, throwing colour onto the greys of metal and machinery.

blue (ATN) blame @inkovert for this im back on my bullshit ooops

Ronan's gaze snapped up to him, his blue eyes matching the iciness in Latrell's voice. "You say you were working late? On this... this Nox case?"

The derision and dismissiveness with which he spoke the name rankled Latrell -- another fact he would not examine at a later date -- and he bit back, "The one I'm not allowed to talk about? Yeah."

"Well, maybe we should start talking about it again," Ronan snapped.

"Given this is the way you always react, I--"

"The way I always react? This is not the way I always react, christ Brishan. I think I'm doing pretty well with my reaction."

Latrell opened his mouth to refute that obvious lie, but Ronan raised his voice, speaking across him.

"This is the criminal that's obsessed with you, right? The one who keeps calling you, who for all we know is staking out my fucking house to keep an eye on you?"

Latrell kept his mouth shut. The questions were rhetorical. It didn't matter that he now had a reason to offer regarding Nox's fixation. It didn't matter that he seriously doubted Nox was taking time away from his criminal enterprise to keep an eye on him. It was the first time in a long time Ronan had referred to the apartment as his and not ours.

He nodded, once, jerkily.

truth (ATN)

“I know the lead didn’t end up panning out,” he said, knowing he shouldn’t be speaking, that for him to speak first was out of character, but perhaps it could be forgiven in this circumstance and if he pretended to know nothing about what this meeting was really about that would benefit him, “But there was a good reason to believe—”

“We don’t give a fuck about whatever leads you were following.” Briggs’s voice cut across him effortlessly, measured and cold and abrupt. “We wanna know what you were doing last night.”

Latrell opened his mouth to say I was with my boyfriend, and closed it a heartbeat later.

Because he wasn’t.

Because Briggs was asking about an alibi.

And he didn’t fucking have one.

That was why they’d called in Albie first. They’d already predicted that he’d attempt to use her. And Albie, lord love and loathe her in equal amounts, would not have lied. If the thought had even crossed her mind, she would have pushed it aside, and she would have told the truth. Even if she thought Latrell’s ass was on the line. Compromising procedure was a step too far for her. One she would never take. Under any circumstances.

So at least he hadn’t shot himself in the foot by not bringing her into the loop. Even if he’d asked — even if the thought had occurred to him he’d need to — she wouldn’t have done it. Another cold comfort.

“Not much,” Latrell said, far too many beats too late. “My boyfriend was working late, so I just chilled at the apartment.”

“By yourself?”

Briggs’s implication was so obvious Latrell knew he couldn’t ignore it, no matter how much he wanted to.

#word find tag #WIP: AAH #WIP: Risk It #WIP: ATN #excerpt #had fun with this #now i should probably go and ACTUALLY WRITE SOMETHING #ugh i am having A Day #but what can you do? #also i notice these get progressively longer #but consider also: i don't care #sorry not sorry :D

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

westworld as a metaphor is so annoyingly direct like how do people not get it god dammit lmfao like imagine not loving the melodrama of maeve seeing by her own choice the rest of the robots being created and waking to the true nightmare of her life, her horror, her tribulations, her sexuality, her journey, her words have another level of being and none it's her, worse, it's written by marketing and her whole world is a lie and it's not even a choice but everyone ignores it but now that she sees she can't unsee and that's a recurring theme that as much as they want once awakened they can't go back, and like, it's so fight club they tell you companies and any fucking entity looking to consume and profit from you will see your emptiness and fill it with something, any product, anything that might make you feel something other than you for five seconds, they make you feel like shit for being a shit earner in a world made by shit people dictating shit worth for anyone, and then the story says im gonna prove it ti you and that's what tyler durden does, he profes it, he takes over what marketing had been doing for the men he takes the masculinity sold to acquiesce to consumption and turns it to his own masculinity, wilder, freer but still not really thought as individual to build their own dreams but to follow tyler's violent fall down into nothing, a spectrum where consciousness must fight to exist because we celebrate finalized products not people, breathing loving people, evolving forever till death do us part

and then westworld is like the marketing team is leading the narratives and it makes me want to poke my eyes out because they don't even pretend narrative is what they're after and like i get ford's disgust i do, these fuckers all had disrespected art and craft, they needed to die, and like i really love that scene of the adversary just trying to think of what maeve might be seeing for the first time by choice and not because she woke up and found herself staring at other's broken eyes, and did she think that someone had filled her literal emptiness with whatever they wanted without giving her a choice? we do that to each other don't we? specially when we really touch something inside, but just by existing we could do it and and when we gather that power unconsciously and cruelly..... we don't give each other a choice about the world we make for each other.... and maeve's decision to see it by herself knowing it will hurt her while felix wonders if there's really anything to her like..... she's waking up and he doesn't see and lot of the show is really for the viewers to appreciate the beauty of their birth, and then her kid is there..... a new soul to her, but not so..... the writers went for poignant, corny and obvious yes, and a lot of the time, but i thank them for it because what else could you and i, and them do but revel at the world through the eyes of a new kind?

#westworld #aaah #deah #and then there's sizemore who lost himself clearly along the way but like he knows he's there to sell #sigh

[stormyoceans]

[VICE VERSA episode 5 parts 3&4]

“You must only be happy, Talay” UGHUGHUGH

“Only for five minutes” LIAR, YOU WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY ALWAYS

I’d complain about Talay rejecting the hug but again, I think he’s doing it to protect himself

Talay: “I’m cold” Puen: “cool, here’s a drink made of snow”

WAIT IT ONLY TOOK TWO WEEKS TO SHOOT /AND/ MARKET THE FILM?? WHAT THE FUCK???

That poor fucking guy who came back only to lose everything dear to him

Talay’s like “oh god that’s right I swapped with the worst possible person”

“Pakorn might destroy your acting career” Puen: *shrug*

I’m actually surprised Puen didn’t quit being an actor at the end since he didn’t seem particularly attached to the job–plus as his husband Talay wouldn’t get any damn privacy

STOP T-POSING WHILE THE BIKE IS GOING!!!!

That dark suit looks soooo good on Jimmy, holy shit

“She’s my type” Don’t say that in front of your bf Up wtf

Puen is nervous, CUTE

Talay comforting him, CUTE!!!

I’m glad the camera focused on Up and Aou in the theater too since, y’know, it’s /their/ movie and /their/ dream too

I can’t help but go “pfft” and their deflated reaction to the meh reviews because while I understand you want your movie to succeed, they’re first-time screenwriters, just be glad your movie didn’t bomb and learn from your mistakes

Also the movie’s been out for like ten seconds, give it a while

Also Aou is right, what matters is that your art connects to even one person and I’m sure the worst movies out there do

Love that the mall is literally just called “The Mall” adklfdlk

I was alone in a theater for a movie once and it was heavennnnn (it was Jojo Rabbit which did NOT deserve an empty theater)

T&P pick themselves up only for U&A to go “we quit actually”

I don’t really have anything to say about the last five minutes akdfjksdl I’ll leave that to you <3

“You must only be happy, Talay” UGHUGHUGH <<<<< WHEN I TELL YOU IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS LINE STILL HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS IT ABOUT IT THAT MAKES ME CRAZY BUT IT DOES!!!!!!!! HE WANTS TALAY TO ONLY BE HAPPY!!!!!!!! AND NOT HAVE ANY DISLIKES!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S SO STUPIDLY ROMANTIC TO ME IM THROWING MY WHOLE ASS SELF OUT OF THE WINDOW

I’d complain about Talay rejecting the hug but again, I think he’s doing it to protect himself <<<<< yeah at this point talay is still very unsure about puen’s intentions, so he keeps taking a step back. it’s also why episode 7 is gonna be very important and the fact that people completely overlook it just because it has a lot of product placements it’s gonna be my villain origin story

Talay: “I’m cold” Puen: “cool, here’s a drink made of snow” <<<<< THE WAY PUEN DID THAT JUST TO HAVE THE EXCUSE TO HUG TALAY AGAIN HE’S SUCH A MISCHIEVOUS LITTLE GREMLIN

WAIT IT ONLY TOOK TWO WEEKS TO SHOOT /AND/ MARKET THE FILM?? WHAT THE FUCK??? <<<<< LITERALLY THE BIGGEST MYSTERY IN THE SHOW it throws me off every single time too. i guess maybe it was a short film??? or time also moves differently in the alternate universe????

That poor fucking guy who came back only to lose everything dear to him <<<<< don’t mind me im just killing tess with my mind rn

I’m actually surprised Puen didn’t quit being an actor at the end since he didn’t seem particularly attached to the job–plus as his husband Talay wouldn’t get any damn privacy <<<<< i can’t remember if you watched episode 12 as well…… anyway, just to be safe im not going to spoiler you too much, but they do say that after a while puen starts to work behind the camera as a screenwriter way more than as an actor

STOP T-POSING WHILE THE BIKE IS GOING!!!! <<<<< puen has been such a bad influence for talay SAFETY FIRST KIDS NEVER FORGET THAT

That dark suit looks soooo good on Jimmy, holy shit <<<<< I CANNOT AGREE MORE AND THE TURTLENECK WAS SUCH A GOOD CHOICE TOO

“She’s my type” Don’t say that in front of your bf Up wtf <<<<< SFKDSGFKJSDGFDKJ TRYING NOT TO SAY ANYTHING IS KILLING ME

Talay comforting him, CUTE!!! <<<<< TALAY HOLDING PUEN'S HAND AND TELLING HIM THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS THEY'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH IT TOGETHER!!!!! THE CARE THE TENDERNESS THE DEVOTION THE UNDERSTANDING THE COMFORT THE FRIENDSHIP THE LOVE IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

I’m glad the camera focused on Up and Aou in the theater too since, y’know, it’s /their/ movie and /their/ dream too <<<<< people can say anything about this show but it would have been so easy for them to just not bother with the secondary characters since they're gonna remain in the alternate universe and not be part of puen and talay's life anymore instead they took the time to give them depth and screentime and i guess you can add this to the endless list of reasons why i love vice versa

I can’t help but go “pfft” and their deflated reaction to the meh reviews because while I understand you want your movie to succeed, they’re first-time screenwriters, just be glad your movie didn’t bomb and learn from your mistakes <<<<< the movie industry (just like the publishing one) is so hard that i also feel like it was kinda naive of them to expect to be successful on their first try, but i do understand how bad it feels to have something you have worked on and put a lot of effort in be so easily disregarded (especially for up and aou who already experienced their script being rejected before)

Love that the mall is literally just called “The Mall” adklfdlk <<<<< I SWEAR ALL THE DETAILS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO GOOD AND FUNNY

I was alone in a theater for a movie once and it was heavennnnn (it was Jojo Rabbit which did NOT deserve an empty theater) <<<<< HOW DID JOJO RABBIT OF ALL MOVIES GOT AN EMPTY THEATER WHAT THE F--

I don’t really have anything to say about the last five minutes akdfjksdl I’ll leave that to you <3 <<<<< ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT IT’S ONLY EPISODE 5 AND YET PUEN IS READY TO MOVE IN WITH TALAY AND MARRY HIM AND SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH HIM MY BOY IS SO GONE LIKE LOVE AND LIGHT TO EVERYONE WHO CAN FEEL NORMAL WHILE WATCHING THIS SHOW BUT THEY HAVE ME OPERATING ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF REALITY I COULD FIGHT GOD RN

#SORRY BUT THE WAY PUEN JUST GRABS TALAY AND PULLS HIM IN AND ASKS HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM MAKES ME WANT TO RUN INTO A WALL AT FULL SPEED #vera and monica watch vice versa #m: ask

[barbiebanker]

will spend some time reorganizing this blog, but just wanted to share some drafts’ headlines that i think will show the slight turn this blog is taking. i would totally be a podcast girlie or a youtube commentary channel, but unfortunately i care about what my future employers think and having a public social media presence easily connected to me is not something i want. i’ll still keep up (or try to) with genuinely helpful posts that provide advice, but i’m also happy when i’m writing opinionated posts that expose my thoughts and feelings towards (sometimes niche) topics. i also love internet and fashion/beauty trend analyses, so be prepared. click the read more to get a good look at upcoming posts!!

i ramble about my thoughts on why sometimes, it’s okay to not forgive people. i get it, be mature or the bigger person, and even my own religion says to forgive… but sometimes, some people deserve to be told to fuck off. i think you can heal from events and situations and come out as a better person without having to fully forgive the cause of your misery. or maybe i just suck at being the bigger person and this is all a ploy to get you guys to side with me.

i was the biggest glossier stan in the whole entire world. i (still have, actually) had a massive stockpile worth almost $500 of products because they’re all i would buy and request as gifts during christmas and birthdays. now i’m all grown up and truthfully, im not as obsessed as i once was. also, the more i look at it, the more i realize that glossier is not all that. i briefly explain the history of glossier before exploring reasons why i think they ‘fell off’, so to speak.

your finances are sooo important, and that’s why you need to keep your money and spending habits in check. i share my own monthly budget, how i plan this stuff out, etc. yknow, finally discussing something finance related after making being a finance major (former finance major now) my whole personality.

i talk about the feeling of being ‘trapped’ into chasing after a dream; you should never feel confined by your goals, and if that’s the case, you need to step back and reevaluate.

there are two sides i see on tiktok: those who glorify working in a major corporation (because prestige and being able to brag about a six figure salary is the most important thing in life) vs those who think it’s one big rat race and entirely undesirable. i’m actually in between both views (further explained in the draft) but yeah. i try to get to the root of why a lot of people put working for a corporation on a pedestal and maybe even dive into the crazy shit they’ll do to be able to say they work at a certain firm.

you should not base your quality of life on how aesthetically pleasing it appears. i talk from experience.

it’s 2 in the morning right now and this draft is gonna be a long post but i think the headline speaks for itself

this is a series where i show, well, how i built my capsule wardrobe

#updates

[midnightmisadventures]

Pt 3

Anyway i was emotional that they wanted me to hear the album.

To remember, to maintain faith.

But then then played Crash, and i was like okay fuck yea i'll listen to crash thats like the one song i dont have in my libraries or rotation like i barely ever listened to crash, not cause it was bad its just that all the others were sooo good haha i had too many favorites already.

So i'm listening to crash, getting emotional, realizing the only thing that can get me emotional about the breakup enough to cry is picturing me when i first heard these songs. So young, naive, doesnt know all the growth and hardship shes about to face. But even if you warned her, she'd be willing to do it, because she JUST wanted to be loved. She would do anything for it. I don't fault her, i show her compassion, its valid to want love. And empathizing with her makes it easier to empathize with myself now. #doitforher

So crash is playing and im emo, and then the song keeps going a while after it usually ends.....and then BAM! A BOY IN JEANS SONG IVE NEVER HEARD.

Apparently a rare version of crash has a suprise ending with like a minute 30 second song, and its the MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IVE EVER HEARD.

I just explained how much this album means to me, its the bible, and im a fanatic to this religion. So ive listened to the entire album cover to cover so many times, ive heard every song a bajillion times, i know every word, every harmony. Its my medicine.

So to hear a song ive never HEARD???? Was so fucking shocking to my heart like i felt that same wonder and awe of hearing ryans voice for the first time, when all of the album was new. It was like doing a line of coke, it felt rejuvinating to my spirit like holy shit. Everyone wants to be able to relive the experience of listening to their favorite album for the first time, and this felt like that. Like i felt so lucky. And my heart felt so warm.....

Because i love ryan beatty. But to me, my home is specifically Boy in Jeans. Like i love so many songs off of dreaming of david, especially dreaming of david lol but theres something so magical about the production style of boy in jeans its seriously my favorite thing ive ever heard like this album is my HEART.

And hearing this new snippet of a song, that is so beautiful and magical. Like if it was a full song itd be my favorite its so sweet, its my aesthetic, fresh, vibrant and colorful because i havent heard it a thousand times like all the other songs.

And its not on the regular version of crash?? Like i just happened to stumble on this rare video. And the fact that spirit not only pulled put the big guns, they pulled out the biggest guns to show me to keep my faith in what i believe in and what i know to be true. And that means.....the world to me after spending the last 3 days having existential crisis.

They literally said "remember your scripture"

Also hears a new page. Oh yea whats the song about you ask? Youre not gonna believe this shit

"I could never let go of you Even if I tried, even if you let me I could never survive without you Without you, without you, without you"

swipe up for full lyric reveal

[prettyboykatsuki]

am i warm enough for you?

➳ tags ;; soulmate au, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst but mostly fluff, some-what canon compliant, bakugo katsuki is bad at feelings, lots of Feelings™, you guys are adults but the end of the fic but the fic is sfw, alcohol, drunk confessions

➳ wc ;; 5.6k..

➳ plot summary ;; you see your soulmate in dreams - sometimes in bits and pieces and other times in full. bakugo is less than inclined to admit he even has a soulmate - and you learn how to cope with it, one day at a time.

bakugo learns that this soulmate shit is no joke. that has to be why he keeps falling for you so helplessly.

➳ a/n ;; i wasn’t even gonna comeback this early but it felt so wrong not to post on my bfs birthday so alas </3 for anyone who cares to know this is @elysianseraph but with my new url. nice to see u all <3

this was originally posted on 4/20 but im reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags dskjds

It’s hazy.

A cloud of smoke settles over your body, permeating your lung. It smells like sugar, like burning, like smoke and a little like leather. You can feel your toes curl and your hands moving but your body is separate from you in a way you can’t describe. It’s a pleasant kind of warmth that spreads, creeping up from behind your neck till it’s soft and cradling your skull. It’s soft like the touch of a mother, like wool over your ears.

It’s a pleasant feeling, that’s all. Almost cozy but there’s a fading sense of distress that chills in your lungs as you encompass it. Your hands are too small to reach forward, and truthfully the sensation is so powerful that you’re afraid to reach out. You’re 6 years old, so all you know is how it makes you feel. You can’t remember many details, but you feel pleasant. Something about it is soft, but there’s a sharp edge right at the end that has your lungs gasping for air.

It’s a flash of colors. Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red. Orange. Red.

And then it fades into a feeling again. A blurry feeling. You feel conflict, then concern, then inadequacy in heavy waves almost like it’s drowning you. It’s the first time you’ve experienced such a pain, so your wailing and wiping tears away with chubby fingers and saying a name you don’t know and can’t remember.

Ka. You know the sound, Ka. But you don’t know of anything more. It repeats rhythmically in your mind like a knock on the door, rapping with urgency - but it doesn’t do anything to jog your memory. Someone is trying to be let in but you don’t know how to answer them, and you’re still crying. The distress, the inadequacy shakes you and all you feel is frustration in short simple bursts.

Your first encounter with your soulmate is written this way in your memory. A sense of urgency laced with frustration - but they’re not towards you. It’s him, his feelings - you can feel them even deeper then he can. They pierce you in a way that makes it hard to breathe, no matter how you try to escape them it’s an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The only way to escape the feelings of a dream is either to control them, or to face them and swim through the fog.

Soulmates have an urgency to them, in general. His is different, you can tell as much. Your first soulmate dream leaves the heaviest impression and each one thereafter is like pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes you simply share random dreams, like a split screen in a video game - the two of you witness different parts of the same dreamverse. Other times, and honestly - most times, you’re experiencing their emotions or feelings. You experience their core memories, their life, in flashes and bits and pieces.

It’s not enough to know them or who they are, it’s like know everything about them except the things that matter

Sometimes you meet too. Just barely.

MEETING 1:

The room is white. When you blink, colors flash in order - red, pale yellow, orange, forest green and you know. You blink a few more times, stretching your hands out in front of yourself. Curling your hands into fist then into stretched palms, you lean forward and stretch. You wriggle your toes - notice you're wearing shoes. Clothes from your closet. Strange.

You take a look around the room but there isn't much to see. There’s a wall in front of you with a glass divider and a mirrored empty room. The room across from yours has spiky decor littered against the walls. An orange dresser, plastic grenades and play guns. You know who it is without a second warning - and a foggy part in the back of your head tells you that it’s him, again but with more force. You don’t see anything in your room, but you figure he might. All of it is confusing to you.

Before you can blink, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the glass. It’s a silhouette, the outline of a face - but nothing clear. Dream logic dictates you can’t know a face you’ve never seen, yet somehow you know his outline. Spiky, he’s spiky everywhere.

“Hello?,” you call out, overly tentative. The figure pauses, seems to take in whatever they must be seeing. You’re not sure what response you’re expecting, really. There’s no expectations at all.

“...Who the fuck are you?,” says a pitchy, male voice. He sounds like he’s your same age, a highschool boy. His throat is rough, yet not overly deep. It’s almost scratchy.

“Uhm,”

You’re not sure how to reply. You can see him through the glass, but not really. Still, you take note of his shadows like they’re going to tell you anything more. You shove your hands in your pockets, messing around with something inside.

“Uh.. your soulmate, I think,” you reply.

Scratching the back of your neck as an awkward silence settles, you take a few minutes to try and figure what more to say.

“We met when we were kids once too,” you explain awkwardly. He must know, has too - this soulmate thing is a two way thing, but his silence is deafening. You just want to feel this space. Is it always this awkward?

“Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Forest Green,” you repeat, like a mantra. You hear him take in a sharp breath, and freeze. For some reason, you’d like to avoid upsetting him. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking to the information too well.

“I don’t have time for this damn bullshit… whatever quirk you’ve got to mimic this - cut it the fuck out,”

Hostile.

You pause, not sure how to feel. Half of you is offended, the other half is confused - had you done something to upset him? You can feel how he feels - but you don’t understand it. You sit with your mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Unsure of how to proceed, you scoff a little.

“Woah.. this isn’t a quirk thing. We’re.. soulmates? That’s already a thing,”

More silence. You’ve.. he doesn’t seem upset, but you can tell he’s not all that keen to the idea. It’s a bare minimum improvement that you find yourself valuing, without your consent. He breathes again, throat even more hoarse than before. His voice is angry but it doesn’t fit his responses, his feelings - so you don’t pay attention to his madness. Something is off.

“... I’m not supposed to have a soulmate. No fucking way I have a soulmate,” he grits. You step back, stumbling. You didn’t have any expectations.. but this wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. You feel uneasy, sick. It must be a shared feeling if the way he leans against a wall counts for anything.

A beat of silence passes before you open your mouth to speak.

“... I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that,” you admit. He scoffs.

“Nothing you damn extra. Leave me the fuck alone,”

You don’t reply, too stunned. This was your soulmate? This.. asshole? Not that you were a peach entirely either, but this was supposedly the person that the universe had decided for you?

You shake your head. Maybe you’re just being rash? He could be a nice guy behind all the chaos. You try your best to hold onto that, that this was literally someone chosen for you before you gave up all hope. You sigh, cracking your neck.

“You can say whatever you want but.. we’re here, you know? It’s more productive to just go with it.. isn’t it?,”

“Go fuck yourself,”

“After meeting you, I’m not exactly over the fucking moon about it either. It is what is,”

“You’re not my fucking.. soulmate or whatever the fuck. Leave me alone,”

Your heart both aches with anger and sadness. You don’t know what to do. What does this shit-head know about you, anyway? You know he’s been through some shit, same as you - what makes him so entitled? You swallow the lump in your throat. It hurts. It pierces. Stupid soulmate bonds.

“Yeah? Alright. Fuck you too,”

You see him pace around for a longer before he disappears in a cloud of smoke. You didn’t even catch his name, and you’re not sure you wanted too. It must be morning, but at least you're away from him. It feels lonely, but it must just be you.

Your eyes flutter open but your heart is heavy with regret. You don’t know who it belongs to, but you’ve got class in an hour and not enough time to think about it. If he doesn’t want to meet you that’s fine.

It’s fine. Not like you wanted to meet your soulmate anyway.

__

You don’t have another meeting with your soulmate for months. Lately your dreams have little if anything to do with him or where he is, how he’s been. You have some of those split screen ones, where you know he’s there but neither of you acknowledge each other, even in spirit, like how you did before. When you wake up feeling angsty, you don’t know how to distinguish the feeling but you don’t try.

You wonder idly if he can feel your apathy, if he cares enough too. Maybe he also mistakes it for his own? It seems likely.

It’s a weekday where you’re getting ready for remedial classes at your school. First year advanced courses were no joke, and you find yourself regretting your choice to participate in them.

Still you get dressed anyway, put your uniform on and brush your teeth - wash your face with your eyes half open and look presentable. No one's home in the morning, the house is empty of any life but you. Food becomes a last minute priority, so you make an egg sandwich with cheese and eat it on the way to the train station.

You stare down at your feet as you step outside, music drowning out the noise of your surroundings aptly. The walk to the station is long and the ride is longer, but the streets are packed edge to edge. Musutafu is busy this time of year - the U.A. Sports Festival is taking place today and everything seems to reflect that. You barely manage to squeeze past all the strangers on the subway - clearly on their way to see it.

When you get to school, you're greeted by a mostly empty classroom with a teacher. These classes were straightforward as always, do the work you need to correct, have it approved and leave. It repeats until your finished with all the assignments and you get to be done. You give a respectful nod to your teacher before grabbing your work from your bag.

It goes on and on - occasionally, you hear an excited gasp and quiet chatter from classmates. It’s about the festival, the happenings - but you’re too caught up in completing your work that day and trying to get the fuck out of their as soon as possible.

Shit like that didn’t matter to you, anyways. It’s just a festival.

You leave around the same time the festival seems to have ended, the streets flooded with people - you miss the first station and wander towards an electronics store a block away from your highschool.

It’s the winners on TV. A guy with split hair - Shouto Todoroki, Endeavors son. A guy with a bird head, and a blonde with red eyes - muzzled to the pole.

When you see them, your heart stops. You can feel anger, an unfamiliar rage and humiliation building in your chest. It feels the word has stopped as you watch from afar, through screens. Your soulmate seems upset about something, but you wouldn’t know what.

And that blonde on TV, you wonder if you know him from somewhere.

MEETING 2:

Red.Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red.

You feel him before you even know what’s happening - and it catches you completely off-guard. You haven’t had a proper soulmate dream in two years. Smoke clouds your lungs, the taste of sugar burning your tongue as you cough yourself into awareness. This time, you’re not in a room but it’s a campground. In the middle of the space is a bonfire, burning warmly. This one feels more vivid, more real.

But you know it’s not, your body feel unusually light and your hands can’t hold anything for too long. You know it’s a dream, but you sit in the chair anyway. It feels like you're floating. You feel oddly warm. Dread builds in the pit of your stomach. Even though it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to your soulmate - you can’t forget the terrible first encounter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth - a bitter memory that fills you with unexplainable, irrational resentment.

But it’s not like you hadn’t been seeing him, to an extent. You’ve seen all his memories in bits and pieces - all of them tragic and painful. This time, you see people but they come in the form of small scraps. Spiky Red. Electricity. Tape. Pink with Horns. Music. Green. So much green and red - like Christmas, you’ve called it. You’ve seen disappearances, fear, anguish - so much anguish.

In the weeks after All Might’s fall, you were in so much pain - you couldn’t stop crying for days. It’s been enough time to know what feelings were yours and which were his - and these ones felt so much like him. It went on for nearly a year - you’d almost got accustomed to it. If tears showed up to blot the ink of your lecture notes, you didn’t think twice about it. You tried to keep yourself calm, steady - in hopes you could lend your soothing to him. Even if he hated your guts, you could barely believe so much sadness could exist in one person. You didn’t know what happened but whatever it was - it must’ve been terrible. At the very least, you felt sympathy.

Sympathy was enough to get by for a long time. A neutral, level-headed sympathy that helped soothe some of your own hurt.

All that said, you were hardly expecting to see him again - especially not this soon. You don’t remember the last time you thought about him in anything other than passing - actively. It’s one thing to know what's happening - you’ve felt him passively everyday for damn near two years.

But it’s another thing to see him in front of you, force yourself to acknowledge him as your soulmate even if he insists on not doing the same.

You squirm in your chair, noticing that you’re wearing PJ’s instead of clothes. Just a hoodie and sweats, none of which fit you quite right. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fiddling with the stray strand of thread loose.

“What the fuck is this shit?,”

Your stomach drops. Unsure of what to say, you opt to say nothing at all. Just let him be, sit quietly in your dreams and mind your business. Maybe he’ll wake up soon and it’ll all be over.

You can’t see him from the corner of your vision but you can hear him shuffle. The way he touches things, noticing how they make noise but don’t feel quite right in his hands. How it feels real but doesn’t, how it is real and isn’t. Surely, he’s noticed you by now. The lingering silence makes you squirm.

“...It’s you,”

You flinch, lifting your head up slightly to meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but it’s different from before. In a fleeting moment, something occurs to you.

You can see him. What he looks like. Blonde with red eyes, and a sharp chin and thin waist. You know it must mean you’ve seen him before - perhaps you’d even seen each other, but for your life you can’t remember where you’ve seen his face. It’s right there, on the edge of your mind, but you’re stumped.

“Hello?,”

“Oh,” your reply comes short, strained. Your eyes flutter as you press your lips into a flat line. “Uh, hi,”

The blonde sits in the chair, slumping down. His eyes go towards the flickering flames without another word and you decide it’s best not to engage. It stays like that for a while, a beat of silence - not awkward but not comfortable, passing by without another thought. It all feels real, present - not like normal dreams. This must be the special kind of soulmate thing you find yourself feeling resentful towards.

His eyes are heavy. Relief is overwhelming him, with an iron grip and he’s worried you can feel it. If you can, you don’t say a word.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,”  he admits.

The words sound tender passing through his mouth, unmistakably so - but you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you give him a placating laugh, leaning forward towards the fire and mirroring him.

“I didn’t think so either,”

When it falls silent, it feels comfortable. It’s not like either of you have anything to say to each other right now, with no manual on how this was supposed to go. If he even wanted to go there.

“I can.. see you,” you start. He squints.

“You couldn’t before?,”

This takes you by surprise. You shake your head.

“No..Could you? See me, I mean?,”

Bakugo feels heat rise to his skin. Oh. Huh.

“Yeah,” he replies, a sharp inhale leaving his lungs “I can see you,”

There’s something tense in the air. It’s a strange sensation - to know the deepest and most intimate parts of someone without even knowing their name proper, or where they went to school, or what they normally eat for breakfast. All that connects you are these mutual feelings, shared grief that holds you two to the title of soulmates. This odd bond.

“..d’ya still think I’m a quirk wielding villain?,” you laugh, or try too - you’re doing your best to cut the tension. He can feel your hurt all the way from your sit, so deep in his gut - it’s been haunting him for years. How many nights of sleep he’s lost knowing there are soft and helpless tears coming from these suppressed feelings. He doesn’t know how to say sorry, so he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He’s changed a lot in two years - but not enough to be good at this.

“No, I don’t,”

“Oh,”

He smiles, just a little. It’s gentle, casts shadow on his face from the light of the fire. It’s warm, everything feels warm and better and invigorating. When you look at him and his uneasy expression - you know he feels it too.

“By the way, uhm - what’s your name? Ka.. something? Right?,”

His eyes shoot up in surprise. He nods a little.

“Katsuki Bakugo,” he replies, expectantly. You seem surprised that he wants to know yours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” comes your reply.

“Nice to meet you,” says him, Bakugo - your soulmate.

“Nice to meet you too,”

__

Getting to know Bakugo is unusually easy. You get the feeling it wouldn’t be, in the case that you were anything but soulmates - but Bakugo has never known being this intimate with someone other than you. Despite himself, how much he hates himself - you never seem too. Even though you feel and see all the ugliest parts of him - have since he was small enough to still be innocent, you always treat him the same.

Your conversations are short, and shallow. Regardless, he’s not used to talking so much about himself. But you’re always curious, so much so Bakugo doesn’t have the heart to see your countless questions go unanswered.

You keep a little notebook of all of your encounters. You remember them by heart but write them down too, just in case you miss something. You ask about his friends - Spiky Red and Soft Green, referring to them that way even after you’ve known their names. You ask about his work - the life of a dangerous hero, and if he ever gets nervous flying through the air.

Admittedly, he’s mean to you. He teases you so frequently, he’s lost count of all the times you’ve huffed and puffed at his sarcastic remarks. Still, you never turn away from him. You stand with your foot down and your arms crossed over your chest - insistent on making him feel flustered too. And it works, somehow - because you know all too much about Bakugou and always gets him right where he’s most conscious about. You don’t have to tease him about his feelings since you know them like the palms of your hand.

But these shallow conversations always mean a little more to him that he knows how to verbalize, and half the time he doesn’t need to do that at all. You’ve learned the masterful of working around him quietly, making all the parts of that feel too big to love - something small and fragile. Somehow, you’ve made being with him, even as friends - feel like less of an impossible feat but a dream.

Katsuki Bakugo has been in love with you since he was 6 years old. There must be some feelings we cannot share with our soulmates, because he has no idea if you feel it or not. He just knows he does, somewhere deep in the cavern of his heart, he loves you.

You never cross the barrier of romance with him, though. A paralyzing fear seems to settle in your bones when you breach too close to love and intimacy - and Bakugo understands those feelings, even if he doesn’t know exactly why they’re there. It’s not something you’ve decided to tell him yet, but he feels it in the same way he feels your loneliness. You may be kind but you’re more guarded than he is, and not fearless but reckless.

But he still finds himself aching to love and be loved by you, no matter how much he hates it. The yearning still manages to swallow him, even late into the night.

MEETING 3:

It’s been a while since your last meeting with Bakugo but not long. You were 21 now, but your dream visits were frequent. When you weren't speaking or seeing him through dreams - you were watching him on TV. You’d been yet to meet with him in real life but to you, that was okay. Seeing him like this had been more than enough.

Today was different. Normally, that bonfire was always a back-drop to these little encounters but it was a field today - a filed with rolling hills and hundreds of flowers and tall grass that made you feel itchy. The sun was permanently stuck right before it set but it was so warm everywhere. When you get there, there’s a blanket on the top of one of the hills. You sit on it cautiously and watch the wind pass. Everything is tinged orange, and red - you know he’s there with you before he appears.

When he does, he seems different. You glance over at him as he stumbles towards you in a stupor, and when he does finally sit - you get a whiff of alcohol coming from his neck and mouth. It’s strong enough to make a little dizzy. Blinking owlishly, he sits crisscross besides you, staring a little at the surroundings.

“..the fuck?,” he slurs. You can’t help but break out into a laugh. He nearly falls over, body swaying so you bring his head down to your shoulder wordlessly, a furious heat running all over your skin. Even though you can’t feel him, the gesture makes you feel something in your belly.

“Why’re you so drunk?,”

“Birthday,” he mumbles. Your eyes widen in surprise. Bakugo is seemingly unfazed, eyes drooping with tiredness. He’s completely inebriated.

You feel yourself grow tender. You’d have to wake up and remember the days date. Despite all the times you’ve met, you had no clue about his birthday or how he celebrated. You feel your heart ache at the idea you’ve spent the latter half of it together, in your own way.

“Happy Birthday, Bakugo.”

“Bakugo this, Bakugo that,” he growls, a little incoherent “We’re supposed to be fucking soulmates and you still call me by that.. damn name.”

He hiccups a little as you sit there stunned. You blink.

“.. You think of us as soulmates?,”

“Are you some kind of moron?,”

You scowl, flicking his forehead with your thumb and forefinger. He makes a noise of indignance.

“Well, how would I know? When we first met, you didn’t seem enthused about it,”

Bakugo sighs tiredly.

“I was 15 and an asshole - clearly I don’t fuckin’ feel that anymore,”

You seem surprised again.

“..You don’t?,”

Instead of swearing at you, he closes his eyes and gets closer to you. The liquor runs through his system like liquid courage and he nods a little.

“Not at all,”

“What do you..”

“What do you think I mean?,” he barks a laugh. You feel your pulse under your skin, drumming against your chest like a hammer. You can’t even breathe.

You’ve had feelings for Bakugo from the second proper meeting you’d had with him. It was clear as a day that he was your soulmate for good reason, that inexplicable draw that kept your heart from ever belonging to anyone else. You tried to - tried to go on dates and see other opportunities through but he was always so one of a kind.

Yet, you’d given up all hope that it would mean anything to harbor these feelings, convinced that Bakugo simply wasn’t interested in you In doing any of this. You didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want - so you kept your distance with hope that he’d still be in your life. It was enough, or you’d wanted it to be.

It’d be a lie to say that you hadn’t started thinking about it more and more as the days pass. What it would be like to see him, touch him and love him and be with him for real - these passive daydreams gone vivid. If he could see your dreams, he must know about them. But you didn’t know how to approach it - how to approach love at all.

That’s the thing with soulmates. You’re told that you’ll just have the answers, destiny will do the hard work but that’s far from true. Because even now, with Bakugo leaning  on your shoulder with this confession lingering in the air - you don’t know what to do.

“Stop being so nervous,” he mumbles. You stumble a little over yourself.

“Sorry,”

He chuckles.

“You really need me to say it, huh?,” he sighs. He picks himself. If he’s drunk and reckless, then fuck it - he’s gonna take it all the way. He drops his head onto your lap with a tired sigh.

“I think you’re my soulmate, you fuckin’ idiot,” he admits.

And it’s hard to say, because feelings don’t come easy for Bakugo Katsuki - but it’s the least he can do. All Bakugo Katsuki has ever known is to be lonely. It’s a loneliness that he’d forced on himself. Bottling up all the anger and sadness and swallowing it. It’s long since sunk it’s claws into him. That overwhelming, all consuming ugly feeling that lingers underneath that superiority complex.

That no one would ever, could ever love the ugliness that lingers in him. That no one who knew him for what he truly is, could care for him. Deku was the first of many disbeliefs and not much had changed.

Except for when it did. Except for when he met you - in a dream, and you were real and beautiful even at 15. That the universe hadn’t been playing some sick joke on him when he kept seeing you in his dreams, so soothing to his teenage loneliness. You were real and that was so fucking scary.

But you loved him anyway. Looked out for him when he was at his lowest - the soothing beat of your heart  in the days after All Mights end . When he cried himself into sleep and dreamed of you. God, how he dreamed of you. Not especially romantic dreams, but dreams of how you made breakfast. How you watched cartoons on Sunday and read manga in your classes instead of the assigned work. How you fell asleep on the train station and always ate icecream after big tests. How you were especially mundane and how he got to be apart of that everyday routine.

After all, you see dreams of each other, but Bakugo has no clue what your dreams of him look like. His have always looked like you though.

When he was worthless and empty and unable to give you anything meaningful, to apologize or put his pride away - you had loved him anyway. Felt for him with clumsy hands and held on, not letting go. Even when he was begging for you to leave him alone, in fear of this all being nothing more than a cruel dream - you held on tightly to him. With your silly notebook questions and dumb names.

Bakugo Katsuki has never known what it means to love someone who isn’t you. Even if you found someone else and there was someone better than you for him, he would grit his teeth and bear it. He wonders if he’ll ever believe he deserves you. He wants to believe you’re his soulmate - to believe you wont ever leave. To believe that he did something right enough that the universe could give him someone like you.

And he wishes he could say all this, but he can’t - he just closes his eyes and hopes you can feel it.

“You’re so mean,”

“Isn’t that why you like me?,” he grins.

And you can feel his sincerity. He should feels yours too.

“I love you, actually,”

He gasps, a sharp breath that stabs his lungs. He feels sober from the confession.

His voice is gravelly when he speaks.

“Yeah, shit - me too,”

__

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. The address is correct, it has to be with the way this place looks. Only a hero could live here, with the floors that lead up to skies. He lives on 3rd floor, so you swallow your fear. You give yourself a thumbs up in the glass window pane of the building before entering through the doors.

When you get there, a box sits. You press the button next to his place, bouncing on the balls of your feet until you answer.

“Hello?,”

His voice feels different in real life. You  cough.

“Uh, hi,” you greet awkwardly “I’m here,”

“Oh,” he says. You hear something buzz and then him again. “Come on up,”

And you do. The elevator ride feels like it stretches mild, classic piano echoing against the empty walls. You feel yourself feel sick but you’re not sure it’s from the movement. All you can do is fidget and wait.

When the doors open, you peak your head out into the hallway. He’s the first one on the left, just as promised. You can see a welcome mat - forest green, and something in you knows that it’s the right one.

You step up and knock, three times precisely. Your heart is all the way in your ears and everything in you is filled with unease and excitement.

When the door swings open, the world stops. You gape like a fish out of water in disbelief. He’s tall and big like he promised he’d be, but you’re unprepared. His chin is scruffy, eyes full of sleep. Strong chest and arms that seem to crowd your vision, you don’t know what do.

His expression is full to the brim with feelings you’ve never seen. He steps aside with his head ducked down.

“Come in,”

“Ah.. right,”

You take your shoes off and place them in the slippers meant for you - they fit you just right, and it can’t be a coincidence. Your heart swells up a little as you take your coat off, hanging it on the rack. You can feel his eyes as they linger on your silhouette.

“So -,”

Before you can get a word out, you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist. His scruff brushes against the skin of your neck as he holds you tightly too him. The warmth of his breath lingers on your neck - and he hiccups, a sob stored in his rib cages let out with a howl. The tears blur your vision too. You can feel his drip onto your shoulder as you snivel into his neck. Your legs feel weak, but he holds you up at the door - the only thing keeping you standing.

You cling around him tightly, your nails digging into the meat of his shoulders. It’s him, your soulmate, Katsuki Bakugo. He’s real and holding you - and he smells like leather and sugar and a fireplace. He’s warm and strong and overwhelming and your crying into his shoulder with so much feeling you don’t know what to do. You hit him weakly, unsure of what do with yourself and he laughs.

“Damn you, shitty woman - makin’ me fucking cry,” but his voice is strained. It’s like something connected, how you feel each other so intimately in that moment. Not only because you’re soulmates, but because you love each other so deeply. Your heart feels heavy.

When you pull away, you manage to give him a warbly smile.

Your hands cradle his face - so handsome and wonderful. You lean forward, emboldened, and peck him. He melts into your touch like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life. It makes you grin.

Maybe you don’t realize that he had.

He’d been waiting for you all this time.

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x you #bnha x reader #bnha x you #bnha imagines #bakugou imagine #bakugou imagines #PLEASE SHOW UP IM BEGGING

[kariosclorosis]

Writing applications for fellowships and grants for this project and im feeling pretty good about it. I mean, imagine being paid $50,000 just to sit at a desk for a year and write?!??!!!

#mine #the ultimate dream come true #there are so many opportunities out there and imagine if i just get one #It would be so much help to be able to develop skills and my career #like i applied to two internships today and im achieving things #look @ me go #being productive #and tomorrow im gonna see drunk mums and have a good fucking day #things are really looking up after deciding to focus on the good things rather than the problems #feeling even better about my writing since starting my writing journal #Loving everything about this #things are going slowly but they are gettng there and i am feeling so good about this project for the first time since beginning!!! #snaps for me

[toxiic-wastee]

hey buddy, I’ve got a request

how does the duwang gang (+Hazamada and Mikitaka and maybe even Yukako 😳😳) react to reader sending dumb shit at 3 AM? like memes or what happened in their dream. modern AU kinda because of textin and all, also gender neutral preferred.

sorry if you’re working on something else, thank you buddyyyyyy 🐎🐎🐎

IM WORKING ON DIFFERENT 7 SMUT REQUESTS BUT THIS IS BETTER. THIS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT IT IS 3:12 PM AND IM IN THE SHOWER WHILE WRITING THIS ON A TUESDAY SO LETS SEE HOW FAST I CAN WRITE THIS WOOOOOO. Idk who you count as the Duwang but Ik who I count so. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Koichi it’s romantic for him)

Josuke

-you remind him of Okuyasu tbh, the memes, the stupid ass dreams, the rants and you being sleepy and dumb.

-it’s so funny to him though.

-Tomoko took away his video game console for 2 weeks because she caught him talking to you at 4am.

-you told him about what happened in your dream and he mentally face Palmed, he gave you a resting bitch face picture once and you saw his hair all messy and you laughed at him so much. (Even going as far to threaten to leak the photo)

-there’s probably a group chat if you and Josuke and Okuyasu and Josuke just has to put up with your guys’ bullshit lmao.

Okuyasu

-what makes you think he isn’t doing the exact same thing to you??

-you guys get no fucking sleep I swear. you both constantly text, and the fact you're just as weird as him makes him so happy, youre his 1st best bud, mans dont even care about Josuke anymore.

-he wakes up early so he can go to your house and walk to school together so instead of texting you abt his dream he can yell it at you.

-he probably sends you old vines.

Koichi

-Ayana found him asleep with his phone buzzing due to you spamming him at 3am.

-he isn’t awake very late, he goes to sleep early. So when you first start spamming him he adjusts his sleep schedule to be able to text you. He probably gets caught talking to you a couple times by Mrs. Hirose, she’s so nice and sweet though. she gives him a warning and invites you over to spend the night and makes you guys food. But Ayana eavesdrops and reports to her mother about your guys’ conversations..

-he genuinely thinks the stuff you send him is funny and he giggles silently at all the stupid shit you send him.

Rohan Kishibabe

-he is so fucking pissed.

-“Y/N why would you interrupt me for your childish stories?”

-he probably blocks you :/ (he unblocks you later tho,, only to block you again the next night, it’s an endless cycle.)

-After a while he enjoys your goofy stories about your dreams, he may smile at your memes sometimes but never to go as far to actually laugh.

-you guys probably call often, Rohan is good at multitasking and can call while drawing his manga.

-as long as you don’t tell anybody your calling him during work hours he doesn’t care. (He doesn’t want the gang calling him while he’s at work, ur the exception)

-if he is up late and texts you it’s probably him giving you a list of shampoo, soaps and cleaning products because he says you stink.

Yukako Yamagashi

-As seen in most of Yukakos episodes she doesn’t enjoy people goofing off a lot, she’s strict and focused. Which is so beautiful I love her-

-She doesn’t mind you going off task and not sleeping though. Mainly because you spend the time texting her. She adores you and the stuff you find funny. She isn’t one for memes but I can see her liking memes after you spam them.

-whenever you tell Yukako about your dreams she always laughs and chuckles, she sends back long detailed paragraphs in response but if she’s too tired she send small paragraphs with poor grammar.

-She probably sends you pictures of herself at night, mainly her getting ready for bed with a smile, to remind you to “Go to sleep, we have a long day ahead of us! ❤️”

Hazamada

-he’s the type to send cursed images, you can expect horrifying shit to look at, I kinda feel like he would send pictures of dead animals with the words “Pablo dead” over them?? If this stuff freaks you out it’s gonna be a fictional animal, probably from a manga he likes.

-he tells you about his dreams too, he usually has nightmares but telling you helps him laugh it off.

-sometimes Surface steals Toshikazu’s phone and texts you, and if he does it means Hazamada is asleep. Toshikazu will take a picture of the sleeping Hazamada and send it to you saying “bitch fell asleep at 9pm.”

Mikitaka

-he doesn’t have a phone, you’d probably have to buy him one. Or he’ll steal one. Either works 🤪

-he is amused by your ranting, he finds it very enjoyable.

-he doesn’t understand many of your memes but he always laughs.

#mikitaka jjba #mikitaka #jjba #hazamada #hazamada toshikazu #toshikazu #jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #discord #jjba x reader #josuke x reader #josuke higashikata #Okuyasu #Okuyasu nijimura #mentions of Ayana Hirose #mentions of Mrs. Hirose #koichi hirose #koichi #Rohan #Rohan kishibe #Rohan jjba #diamond is unbreakable #diu x reader #Yukako yamagashi #Yukako x reader

[teenyweenynightghost]

Haii!! I absolutely adore your writing and was wondering if you would be up to write something comforting with Ethan where reader is having the period from hell? Thank you ❤

Oh ho ho this should be fun

Y/n was sleeping over at Ethan’s for the first time. She had feelings for him for god knows how long, and the night he asked her out was probably the happiest she had ever been.

Their date had been unbelievable. Y/n felt as if time stopped and she was the only person on Earth along with Ethan, as cheesy as that may sound

When it started raining, they both hurried to his car and drove quickly to his place.

“God, I didn’t think the night would end like this.” Y/n chuckled, draining her hair in Ethan’s bathtub, while he was brushing his teeth next to her.

“You can sleep in one of my shirts.” Ethan mumbled, almost choking on the tooth paste

“What?”

“I said” he spit out all the paste and rinsed his mouth “you can sleep in one of my shirts.”

Y/n’s heart skipped a bit and she blushed a bit at his suggestion, before nodding sheepishly and putting her hair in a bun.

Ethan chuckled and muttered a few words Y/n didn’t quite catch, before leaving the room.

In a few moments, he came back with a large t-shirt. It was burgundy and had a logo in the middle. Ethan gave it to Y/n and left her alone to change

That night she had fallen asleep in his warm embrace, listening to the rain drops hit the windows

She felt as if it was a dream come true, and the only thought on her mind was Ethan

Luckily for her, Ethan felt the exact same way

He held her close all night, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, and dreamed of her

Ethan woke up to a slap. He opened his eyes grumpily and looked for the source of pain, only to see Y/n turned away from him, in that position all girls sleep in; the one where they have a leg up and they’re on their stomach

That’s when he saw that Y/n had started her period

There was a large, red stain seeping through her underwear and another few spots on the bedding

Damn, he shouldn’t have put on white ones

Stretching a bit and getting out of bed, he started to think about what he could do.

He didn’t know how much Y/n trusted him or how she would react to this, so the two smartest choices that he had were to either wake her up and tell her what happened, or prepare everything for when se would wake up

Eventually, he decided going for the latter.

Heading to the living room and grabbing his keys , he got in the car and drove to the nearest pharmacy around.

The man was walking down the unbearably white aisles of the pharmacy, looking for some ibuprofen and tampons

He really didn’t know what type Y/n used, and he wasn’t about to be like that dude on TikTok who asked his girlfriend what size pussy she was, so he took 4 types

Maybe different colors would mean something…or maybe scent?

He made a mental reminder to ask Y/n if they had any flavors

After searching forever, he ended up having a kilogram of pads, three types of sheet masks and a new lotion, but no pain medication

They must have been hidden

Eventually giving up, he went to the cashier and placed all the products on the register

“Tough times with the lady?” The woman asked, sending him an all-too knowing smirk

“I hope not. Speaking of which, do you happen to have any pain medication?”

Ethan left the store smirking, having received a 20% discount for being “so cute”, and he also got a small chapstick as a gift

His next stop was the grocery shop

He already knew what he needed, so the trip would be easy; Twix, KitKat, Puffy Cheetos, Aloe Drink, and A LOT of Chocolate milk

It didn’t take long for him to find everything, so he wondered around the shop for a little longer, picking up a few more things

Y/n was startled awake by some people screaming outside

She jumped out of bed and hurried to the window, only to see that they were a group of friends who were just pranking one another

She groaned and pressed a hand to her stomach, feeling a painful hotness around the area

Looking back at the bed, her heart stopped in her chest as she saw that there was a trail of blood behind her

Oh gods, her period came in the worst moment possible. Did Ethan see? Did he run away out of disgust?

She paced around the room nervously, thinking of what to do, yet ignoring the sound of running water coming from the bathroom

She shrieked when she heard a knock on the door and tried to hide the bloodied sheets as well as she could.

“Cara mia, are you awake?” Ethan’s soft voice was muffled by the door, which only made Y/n feel worse.

“No?”

She heard Ethan chuckle before seeing him enter the room. He seemed to have a reassuring look on his face, but Y/n could tell there was some pity in there too.

“Wanna come with me?” He asked her softly, taking her silky hand in his and leading her to the bathroom before she could answer

Y/n watched as he opened the door to the bathroom and led her inside. The shower was running and there were some clothes on the counter

“Get in the shower. I’ll take care of everything else.” He said, looking at Y/n so softly that her heart exploded and she burst into a fit of tears

His armed were around her in a second, comforting her as best as he could, but he truly did not know the reason why she was crying

“Baby, is everything all right? Why are you crying?” He asked her, worry written all over his face.

“Im sorry…I’m just” she sniffled a bit, shedding a few more tears, “no one ever took care of me when I was on my period and you’re being so fucking sweet and I ruined your sheets and everything is wrong and my stomach hurts and FUCK why did It have to come now we could have-“

“Woah, woah, woah, take a deep breath, dolcezza. Like that, just relax.” He interrupted her ramblings, wiping the tears off her face.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about the sheets. I’ll clean them later. We can just stay in bed all day and relax. How does that sound?”

Y/n nodded slightly against his shoulder, pulling herself away and wiping her face.

“Okay.” Her voice was still raspy, and she looked at the shower. At that moment, washing her entire body felt like an unbelievably long and exhausting process. She slumped her shoulders at the thought of it and puffed.

“Let me wash you. It’ll go by quicker.”

Y/n nodded and started taking her clothes off, too exhausted to care about Ethan’s red face. Even though he had offered, he couldn’t help but think about other circumstances in which he would get in a shower with Y/n.

Regardless, it was not the time for such things.

Once she was inside, he grabbed the shampoo and squirted some in his hand, thinking of a way to lather it on Y/n without getting wet.

“Now how are you gonna do that without ending up in the shower too, Mr Edgar?” Y/n teased, letting her head fall back as the warm water glided down her body.

While trying to find a solution, Ethan’s gaze fell on the floor, which was now filled with blood.

“Y/n are you alright?” His tone instantly changed, now being extremely worried about how much blood came out of her.

“Yeah. Why?” She followed his gaze to the ground, seeing what he was staring at. She let out a low laugh before grabbing the bottle from Ethan.

“It’s creepy, I know. You don’t have to wash me.”

“No. I said I would help and I want to. Do you mind if I join in?” He asked sheepishly, concerned about crossing any boundaries with the girl.

“Whatever floats your boat.”

The man nodded, getting out and taking his clothes off. He placed them neatly next to Y/n’s, then got back in the shower.

Y/n was facing the wall, so Ethan pressed a soft kiss to her neck from behind her.

“I bought some goodies too.”

Y/n just hummed in response, leaning against Ethan. His hands instinctively went to her shoulders and started massaging them, earning a few whimpers from Y/n

“I can give you a massage later…”

“Absolutely.”

They both chuckled a bit, before Ethan got to actually cleaning Y/n. He softly lathered the soap all over her body, letting the water wash away the bubbles.

“Okay…I’m gonna leave you alone now, considering that I don’t know how to put on a tampon.”

“Alright.” Y/n responded, blushing slightly from all the contact. She heard Ethan take a towel and dry himself off, before getting dressed and leaving.

Ethan was in the kitchen, his phone in front of him as he sat prompted against the counter

Now close your eyes, and with a deep breath, release all the pent up frustration inside of you

“Um, Ethan? You said you had food?”

The brunette jumped up and hurried to close his phone, blushing furiously as he turned towards Y/n.

“Yes, right it’s over th-“

“Were you meditating?”

“Maybe.”

“You were.” (The bitch was so horny he had to reset his mind)

“You said you wanted food.” He finally managed to switch the topic, as Y/n’s eyes lit up.

“Gimmie.” She stretched out her arms and closed her hands repetitively, beckoning for Ethan to give her the snacks.

“Alright, alright. I’ll grab a few more things and come. Just go in the bathroom and get in bed.”

Y/n pouted, but eventually followed Ethan’s instructions. She was surprised to see that he had changed the sheets and lit up a few candles. She smiled to herself before cuddling up under the blankets.

Soon enough, Ethan entered the room with some snacks and drinks, a hot pouch and some medication.

“Here is some ibuprofen, if you have cramps, and a hot pouch.”

Y/n could have moaned in pleasure when she placed the hot object on her stomach, relieving a lot of the pain.

She gulped down the pills, cuddling into Ethan, who had an arm wrapped around her and another one massaging her butt.

He nuzzled into her neck, smiling a bit and breathing in her chocolatey scent.

“Squishy.” He joked, squeezing her butt, which made Y/n erupt in a mess of giggles.

She leaned over and grabbed a cereal bar, unwrapping it smoothly before shoving it down her throat.

“Thank you so much Ethan. I really don’t know how to tell you…no one has ever done this for me before.” She whispered, twirling a strand of his hair around her finger.

“I’ll always be here when you need me. Now you just need to sleep.”

“Okay…”

A/n: so i know this isn’t particularly a head canon, but the only way I can write is if my brain thinks im writing something short with bullet points, even though it would be a normal piece If I were to remove them😂

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo @tiaamberxx @victoriadeangeliswifey @bidet-and-legolas @makapaka11 @electra-phoebe

#maneskin #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #damiano david #thomas raggi #måneskin #maneskin fic #ethan x reader #fluffy