#and i've been on a full on nostalgia trip ever since

[margalcazo]

fanarts des streams de ultia qui m'ont fait retomber dans la nostalgie amour sucré à 1000%

#amour sucré #my candy love #corazon de melon #so a famous twitch streamer has been playing a very corny dating sim i used to play in middle school #and i've been on a full on nostalgia trip ever since #it's very bad but also incredible. terrible writing and drama everywhere #i was team nathaniel btw #i won't tell you how devastated i was when i learned he became a cop

[d3wdropz]

Does Princess Wanna Fuck? Toji Fushiguro Smut

a/n: I am shocked yet not shocked this man won the poll- I'm kind of nervous but here we go

i'm so shocked how big this fic is- sorry it took so long, finals were kicking my ass

plz be kind this is my first large fic

pairing: bodyguard! toji fushiguro x reader

word count: 5.1 K

summary: your mother, a very rich and influential woman, gets on the wrong side of some dangerous people. To ensure your safety, she hires the best protection money can buy: the Sorcerer killer. You're happy to have the support, you just didn't think he'd be this hot.

content warning: fem!reader, not virgin! reader, pet names (princess, pretty, doll, sweetie), swearing, porn with plot, age gap (toji is 30 something, reader is early 20s), alcohol, p in v, dirty talk, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), rough fucking, no protection, creampie, doggystyle, kind of mean! toji, bratty! reader, a few spanks, degradation (slut), no strings attached, no aftercare, hopefully that's it

Thank you @benkeibear for the great banner once again!

"I promise, sweetie, nothing bad is going to happen. I have my own personal team looking after me, we all just thought it would be safer for you to stay away."

You were sitting on your bed, listening to the voicemail your mother had left for you. It came as no surprise that she was on the radar of some shady people. Your mother climbed her way out of poverty and became one of the richest people in the city.

Ever since you were a child, you knew the methods she used weren't very legal. This came in the form of strangers coming in and out of your house constantly, the long and far away trips she'd take for 'work', and the items and rooms you were never allowed near. The people you saw as a child always ended up on the news, both arrested and murdered. The trips she took would often mean you wouldn't see her for upwards of a year, with no way to contact her so her location would remain secret. The locked doors and mysterious duffel bags were the biggest give away.

There was a time when you were eight and curious. You wanted to know what was so important about some stupid locked box. Your mother was away on one of her 'work trips' again, so she'd never know. When you were finally able to unlock it, you found it full of expensive and shiny jewelry. If it weren't for the news showing a picture of the same accessories- only this time the reporter was asking for tips on finding the stolen gems- you would have likely played with them.

No matter the means, your mom provided and loved you. Her job was paying for the expensive house you were sitting in right now, the newest phone model you were holding in your hand. You accepted your mom's life choices, going as far as to lie for her when people got too curious.

But right now was different. Never before did your mother's work involve you, let alone threaten to kill and dismember you. As soon as your mother received the threatening text, she had half her team escorting you out of your apartment and back home.

That was almost a full week ago and since then you hadn't been allowed outside of the building. Your mother was currently at her 'office', with the rest of her bodyguards and team looking for the guy.

You focus back on the message just in time to hear her final words, "I know you hate being cooped up inside the house, and if I'm being honest those men I sent are amateurs. I've hired the best hitman to look after you, you'll even be able to go back to your apartment. He's the best in the business. Anyway, I love you so much, baby, be safe. I'll call you when things have calmed down."

You delete the message as soon as it's over, sighing and looking around the room. You haven't been here in ages, not since you left for college and started staying in your one-bedroom apartment. Whatever nostalgia you were starting to feel disappeared when you heard a light knock on the door.

"Miss," it was one of your mom's team members, "The new guy is here to escort you out."

Standing up from the bed, you walked over to the door and opened it just enough to see the guy's face, "Okay, tell him I'll be down there in a minute. I need to pack up my stuff."

Packing was easy enough, you didn't have any time to pack the day the team swept you away so the only thing you carried down the stairs with you was a small backpack.

As you made your way down the winding staircase, you could hear an unfamiliar voice having a one-way conversation with the serious guards at the door. It was playful and some how laid back, something you weren't used to when it came to people your mom worked with.

When you made it to the bottom, your eyes met pools of deep green. The chatter stopped as the stranger faced you with a satisfied smirk, "So this must be little miss princess, huh?"

A mixture of annoyance and embarrassment bubbled in your stomach as you clutched the straps of your bag, "And you're the famous 'hitman' my mom told me about? I expected someone more professional."

In all honesty, it wasn't your best jab. Just something you made up on the spot in an attempt to knock him down a peg.

It only served as amusement, though, as he chuckled and looked you up and down, " 'Don't need to be professional to be good in my line of work, princess," noticing the slight pout on your lips, his smirk melted into a soft smile as he nodded, "but you were right, I've been paid a lot to keep you alive, even more if I find the guy."

One of the other guards grabs your bag as they begin to lead you to the black car outside. While walking, you turn your head toward the stranger, "Now how are you gonna protect me and catch the guy? I don't really like the idea of you half-assing a job that involves my life."

Another smooth chuckle leaves his scarred lips as he hops into the back seat of the car with you, "Oh, you are gonna be fun to work with, princess."

The princess thing was starting to get on your nerves, now. No other guard or person affiliated with your mother treated you like this. At best, they respected you; at worst, they coward at the sight of you.

"I have a name, u'know. If my mom is gonna pay you, you might as well learn it," you huff and turn your body away from him.

The man crosses his legs lazily and grabs one of the mini bottles of alcohol from the side door, "Trust me, princess, I know a lot more than you think. I know you're a snooty, little brat who still doesn't know the name of the person holding her life in his hands."

At the mention- or threat- of knowing too much information for comfort, you turn just enough to peak at him from the corner of your eye. Instead of using your words, you raised a brow and waited for an answer.

He took his sweet time giving it, too. He finished the alcohol in one gulp and wiped his mouth on his bare arm. The muscles flexed as he brought his arm and up, catching your eye just long enough for him to notice.

He finally looked into your eyes again with a cocky smile, "Toji- and that's all you need to know."

You tried to keep eye contact, tried to assert your strength and maturity. But it was a losing game, the thoughts racing in your head kept you from looking into Toji's eyes any longer.

Out of all the things going through your head, one stuck out the most: this asshole's hot as fuck.

~ ~ ~

It's been about a week since your mother hired Toji to be your guard dog, and you hate to say it, but he's very good at his job.

The first few days left you nervous and doubtful of his abilities as he waved you off to 'do your shit'. He said that you could go about your day like normal, that you'd be safe no matter where you were.

This was nothing like the last week you'd just had. Instead of one guy keeping watch in the shadows, you had a whole teams worth of people just watching you laze around your house. You had to admit, it felt refreshing to get back to your life. And it turns out, Toji wasn't lying.

During all of your outings, you were safe as can be. After a bit of questioning, he told you that while you did your thing, he was watching your every move. While a part of you was upset that you would be lacking in privacy, another was happy in the fact that you likely have never been in safer hands.

Even while at home, Toji doesn't intrude. He does his thing and leaves you alone. This could be rummaging and eating the food in your fridge, or sitting shirtless on your couch as he waited to sleep.

He's made a comfortable little bed on the living room couch. Your apartment, while beautifully furnished and on the top floor, didn't have more than one bedroom. As soon as you both walked through the door, you made it clear you would not be giving your room up for him.

If you could sum it up in one word, you'd say you were content.

That is, until Toji gets ready for bed. You're proud to say that you're no bashful virgin, you've slept with a few guys. But none of them were as hot as the man sitting before you.

You're ashamed to say that you've spent more time staring at his abs than the cliche action movie playing on the TV. You're also ashamed to say that you've wanted to fuck him since that moment in the car.

Throughout the week, you've tried to get closer to Toji. Not for the sake of a connection, but to see if you had any shot at getting with him for one night. To his credit, in this regard he is professional. You've learned nothing about him but his name, you didn't even know his full name.

In an effort to make some sort of progress, you mentioned having a movie night. He didn't really have the option to say no as your full-screen TV with surround sound was in the living room. Just to sweeten the deal, you offered to get drinks and takeout- which worked in your favor as you both make your way through the bottle of vodka and a pack of beer.

"Okay, kid, I know I said you could pick the movie- but come on, this movie is horseshit," Toji grabbed the remote from your hands and finished off the can of beer in one chug.

You knew the movie sucked, choosing it because of that reason. When has anyone ever gotten fucked with a decent movie in the background? The point was for you and him to talk, not genuinely watch the film. You were running out of options and sober thought quicker than you'd like to admit.

Steeling your nerves, you finished off your drink as well and poured yourself another, stronger one, "Well, it's my TV so before you turn anything on I want I know what it is first."

He chuckled and clicked through the options, landing on a classic slasher. Toji tilted his head at the screen, black hair falling into his eyes, "This good enough for the little princess?"

"Fine, but you need to tell me why you keep calling me 'princess', it's really pissing me off," you titled your head to meet his gaze, hoping he couldn't see the blush forming on your cheeks.

Toji crossed his legs and leaned his back against the couch, laying his arms against the head rest. "You really don't know, do ya?"

The bored expression on your face was a good enough answer as he itched the back of his neck and closed his eyes, "Geez. . . I shouldn't be telling you this but maybe it'll knock you down a peg," you leaned forward, eager to finally get some kind of information from him. "Your mom is a powerful lady. Everyone in . . . my line of work knows about her," he points his finger at you and grins, "which means, everyone knows about you. People think of you as a prissy little princess that doesn't know anything about the real world."

All of the confidence you had dissipated during his explanation, fueling you to drink more and more vodka until your cheeks flushed. You were smart, you knew your limits- and right now you were there. If you continued like this, you'd be drunk and all your efforts would be for not.

With a huff, you point your own finger at him, "I am not a prissy little princess. I know what my mom does! I know about the real world, I'm not some spoiled little kid."

"Oh- if you know about how your mom paid for your life of luxury, tell me. Cause I sure as hell would love to hear about all the info you've got," to further irritate you- or turn you on, you're not sure- he uncrosses his legs to spread them as he leans against his knees.

At this, you sputter, look to the ground, anywhere but his eyes and crotch. You'd officially dug yourself a hole. You didn't want to know about what your mom did, it would solidify in your mind that she's a criminal. Something you didn't want to accept was that the woman who loves and raised you might not be a good person.

Toji chuckles and opens another can of beer at your silence, "Feels nice to be right."

You groan and cross your arms, "Fine! I don't know what my mom does- I don't even wanna know!" you finally meet his eyes, trying so hard not to stutter when you see the sheer amusement swimming in his head. "But I am not a prissy princess!"

For once, Toji breaks eye contact first to roll his, "Listen, kid, I've only been with you for a week, but I know a brat when I see one," you hope it's not your imagination when you see him lean towards you, looking you up and down, "and you, Y/n, are spoiled rotten. Bet no one's ever said no to you before. Never made you say 'please'. "

The warm tinge in your cheeks is uncontrollable now as you feel yourself getting wet, "You're not my dad- okay? I know manners, you just don't deserve them-"

In the blink of an eye Toji makes his way over to you, putting his hand against the head rest and smirking down at you, "Oh, sweetheart, those aren't the kind of manners I'm talkin' about," he leans down to your level, so close you smell the alcohol on his breath.

"I see the way you look at me, it's so fucking obvious," his voice is barely above a whisper but it's leaving you hot and bothered in your seat, "Bet you were waiting for me to drop everything and beg for a fuck, right? You'd want me to do all the work while you just lay there and act like a little pillow princess."

At his words, you try and look to the ground in hopes of calming your racing heart. This attempt ends in Toji gripping your chin harshly and forcing you to look at him again, "If you really wanna fuck, cutie, then I'm gonna need you to be a good little girl. You think you can do that?"

The throbbing in your cunt is unbearable and you're desperate for any kind of action, so you eagerly nod your head. In response, Toji digs his fingers into your chin, "Use your words, slut."

All inhibition flew out of your body as you pouted, "Yes, yes please. I can be a good girl."

Satisfied, Toji let go of your face and stood up straight, "Prove it. I'm gonna clean up in here and by the time I'm done you better be nice and ready for me."

You're in your room in an instant, throwing off your pajama shorts and shirt. Your heart's racing as you lay down on the bed and reach your arm down to your aching cunt. It's been forever since you've gotten off, two weeks ago you were so stressed it didn't feel right. This week, you were hoping the wait would be worth it.

By how sensitive you are, you're happy you waited.

The simple ghosting of your fingers over your clothed clit has you biting your lip. You couldn't draw this out, though, Toji made a demand and if you wanted to be fucked you'd follow it.

Slipping your hand underneath the green, laced panties, you rubbed at your clit. Just a few circles was enough preparation as you slipped in a finger and tried rubbing at that spongey, deep, spot.

A whine slipped past your lips as your finger just barely reached your pleasure point. You were so close, you just needed a push. Letting the laced bra-strap fall off your shoulder, you pinched and rubbed at your hardened nipple. Hoping and begging for some kind of stimulation to get you over the edge.

Your whimpers and curses stopped as soon as you felt two calloused hands spread your knees.

"Can't even get yourself off, can you, princess?" Toji's grin was prideful as he admired your choice of clothing. He tsked and wrapped his hands around the straps of your panties, "Don't think some sexy lingerie is gonna save you, I told you to get prepped."

In one swift motion, he pulled down your underwear and threw them behind me. Toji climbed onto the bed, leaning back on his knees between your legs as he lazily stroked your clit, "maybe you aren't a good girl after all?"

At this, you sat up on your elbows and looked at him through your lashes, "I am! I promise I tried," you put all of your weight onto one arm as you used the other to rub at the bulge in his sweat pants. To avoid his gaze, you opted to stare at his abs.

You couldn't help but bite your lip from the excitement, "I just need your help, please, can't cum without you."

His mouth was clamped shut as you caressed his dick threw his pants, which you noticed were the only thing covering his manhood. His brows knitted together as he rolled his head on his shoulders, closing his eyes.

A small, deep laugh left his throat as he reopened his eyes, "You want my help, princess? Earn it, show me how grateful you are and suck my dick."

You didn't need to be told twice as you quickly lowered the waistband of his sweats and freed his cock. Drool pooled in your mouth as you studied his member. It was thick and curved, a nice seven inches with a mushroom tip you knew would hit just the right places.

Toji carefully put his hand on the back of your head, "Don't tell me you're backing out now, doll."

With your ego stroked and a need for praise, you shake your head and spit into your palm. Leaning against his clothed thigh, you wrapped your hand around his cock and gave him a few pumps. "No, just think you cock's pretty."

The hand on your head softly massaged your scalp in response as he let out a breathy chuckle, "Thanks, cutie, but how about you get to showing me that appreciation."

Taking the hint, you put both hands to work as you move them back and forth, adding in twists and some pressure when getting close to the base. You look up at Toji and are happy to see him closing his eyes in concentration as he bites his lip.

You decide now is the perfect time to bump it up a notch and wrap your lips around the tip. You suck on it and speed up your hand movement until you slowly suck on more of his cock. When you're finally able to fit it all in, you hollow out your cheeks and gently cup his balls. More heat floods your cunt when you hear Toji let out a groan and tighten his grip on your head.

"Fuck- just like that, princess," he runs a hand through his hair and struggles to hold in a moan as you pull your mouth up to the tip and tongue at the slit. Your hands go back to his cock as you squeeze and pump. When you hear him breathe faster, you go back to sucking him, bobbing your head up and down now.

It doesn't take long for this changing of tactic to have Toji bucking his hips up into your face. He's close, you can tell. At this point, you don't care if he cums down your throat, he'll probably be ready for more within five minutes.

Toji has other plans, though, as he pushes you off of his cock and onto your back, "Shit, doll, gonna ruin the fun." He repositions himself so that he's laying between your spread thighs, hands holding them tight against the sides of his head.

" 'think that deserves a reward," he dives his head down to your cunt, halting before he touches you. His emerald eyes peer up at you through raven locks as he speaks, "you better not cum, princess."

You nod and stroke his hair, gasping when he shuts his mouth against your pussy and starts sucking on your clit. It feels amazing, his fingers prod at your opening before plunging in and starting an unforgiving pace.

The hands in his hair pull him closer as you arch your back off of the bed. The neighbors probably can hear your loud and porno-grade moans, but you don't care. Toji's reaching all the places you couldn't and it's sending you to paradise.

"Ah! Toji- oh fuck- Toji! 'Gonna cum! I'm so close- fuck!" there are tears brimming your eyes from the pleasure as you start to clench around his fingers. You're so close, it feels so good.

You cry out when Toji pulls away, sucking his fingers clean as he stands up just long enough to takes off his pants, "Don't worry, doll, not leavin' you, just getting us more comfortable."

Panting and whimpers are the only sounds you can make as he unclasps the laced bra you wore and turns you onto your stomach.

"Think you can hold yourself up?" Toji's behind you, holding your hips firmly as he rubs the head of his cock between your folds.

You buck back against him, hoping to get some attention to your clit. As you register the question you lift yourself onto your elbows and nod, shaking your ass in excitement, "please, Toji, need you to fuck me so bad. Need to cum on your cock."

His nails dig into the flesh of your hips as he snaps his own forward. In one swift motion, Toji bullies his cock into your dripping cunt. You let out a squeal, almost letting your face fall into the pillows. His mouth falls open in a silent groan, letting his head fall forward as he looked down.

"Shit baby. . ." Toji breathes out and pulls his hips back slowly, savoring the view of his dick soaked in your juices. Just the tip was left snug in your cunt, leaving you wanting more.

"Ah! Toji- put it back! Please," you begged and tried to move back into him, only to be stopped by a sharp slap to your ass. You yelped, arms finally giving out as you face-planted into the pillows.

Toji 'tsked', massaging and gripping the reddened skin, "You better be patient, princess, or you're not gonna cum tonight."

With that, he sank back into you and repeated the movement. His pace was slow and agonizing, thrusts shallow and teasing. Tears formed in your eyes again at the lack of stimulation. You could feel the veins and ridges of his cock slide against you, but he wasn't hitting deep enough, wasn't going fast enough to send you over the edge.

On the other hand, Toji was enjoying himself. He was savoring the way your pussy clenched around him, pulling him in every time he pulled out. If he was being honest, all he wanted to do was grip your head, force your face deeper into those silk pillows, and pound into your cunt until you creamed. Not yet, though, Toji needed to teach you some manners; only good girls get to cum and cry on his cock.

His hands spread your cheeks apart to watch you clench around him. A hiss came from his scarred and bitten lips as he stayed still inside you, feeling you squeeze his dick just right. Toji let out a breathy chuckle as he wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned his chest onto your back.

" 'think you've been a good girl for me," one of his arms made its way around your throat, pulling you up against his chest as he thrust into you, hard. His head was nestled into your neck, biting and leaving dark purple marks, "better not hold out on me, princess, wanna hear how good I fuck this little cunny."

That was all the warning you got as Toji started pistoning his hips into yours, using his grip to slam your body into his thrusts. Tears of pleasure rolled down your face as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

It felt so good, the way his dick was slamming into your soft spot over-and-over. Toji was sending you closer and closer to your orgasm, faster than you expected.

"Oh shit! Toji- feels so fucking good! Ah- right there! Fuck! Right there!" You didn't care about the cries and moans coming out of your mouth. You didn't have the energy or focus when the only thing you could think about was how this was possibly the greatest fuck of your life.

You felt a rough hand snake its way between your thighs, starting to draw hard circles into your bundle of nerves. You let out a loud whine, head falling back and leaning against Toji's shoulder, now covered in a thin layer of sweat.

His arm dropped from your throat, finding purchase in groping your boobs. "That's it, princess, cum for me," his voice was low and gravely, desperate to feel you squeeze and milk him for all he's worth.

Finally gaining some sense, you gripped his wrist, trying to pull him away from your clit. You whined and felt your legs begin to shake, "Toji! Wait- gonna cum- gonna cum!" It was all building too fast, too intense. A part of you thought you might pass out when you reached your peak.

He chuckled and rubbed faster at your nub, bending you over and pressing his upper body into your back. It left you trapped beneath him, and gave Toji a better angle to fuck into you. At this point, it felt like he was hitting against your cervix.

"Come on, pretty, don't hold back" his thrusts sped up as his head dipped into your shoulder. You could hear his heavy breaths and low grunts before you felt him lick at the shell of your ear. "Show me what a good girl you are and cum."

Toji's words were all you needed to fly over the edge. A numbness washed over your sweat-soaked body, being replaced with unbelievable pleasure within a half a second. Your loud, high pitched moans filled the room, drowning out the sound of his thighs slapping against your ass. White filled your vision as you clenched around his cock. In the wake of your mind-shattering orgasm, you fall onto the bed, Toji following behind you and pinning you to the mattress.

As you dome down from your high, you feel Toji move his hand to grip your hips, digging his dull nails into your flesh. Somehow, he's fucking you harder as he groans into your neck.

"Fuck- good girl, good girl," his mouth latches to your skin now, leaving a hickey behind and moving to make another. "Gonna cum, pretty, gonna cum for you."

With one, final thrust, Toji stills inside you as he bites into the junction between your neck and shoulder, "Take it, slut- take it."

The feeling of hot cum gushing into you leaves you a whining little mess. Toji holds you tight, softly rolling his hips to ride out his orgasm. The two of you are left sweating and panting on your bed. You're too exhausted to think about what to do next, feeling just the slightest bit of overstimulation as he stays inside your abused cunt.

Toji chuckles and pulls out, sitting up on his knees to look at the mess he left between your thighs. You turn your head to look at him, lacking enough energy to move the rest of your body. Through the corner of your eyes, you watch Toji comb a hand through his hair before getting off your bed and collecting his discarded pants.

Some part of you wanted him to stay, but you're mostly glad he's taking charge and leaving without being told. It's obvious that this isn't the first time Toji's been in this position.

Even when fucked out, you've got a job to do. You manage to roll onto your back and run your hands down your face. The intent stare Toji gives to your bare tits doesn't go unnoticed, in return you smile teasingly at him, "Jeez, you aren't even gonna help me clean up?"

Toji ties the strings of his waistband and gives you a cocky grin, "I'm not being paid to pamper you, now am I?" He snickers as you roll your eyes, turning to leave the room. Toji stops himself just before he makes it out the door and raises a brow at you, "You're on birth control, right?"

At this, you scoff and chuck one of your throw pillows at him, "Maybe you should get better at your pull-out game, asshole."

He easily dodges the pillow, huffing as he leaves your room for real this time. While he makes his way to the bathroom, you hear him mutter something along the lines of 'getting you plan b in the morning.'

You sit yourself up on your elbows, cringing at the feeling of Toji's cum leak out onto your bedspread. The clock reads that it's two in the morning, and you really just wanna go to sleep- you would, if it wasn't for the various fluids drying on your bed. You groan and go to get off the bed, only to fall to the ground from the ache in your thighs.

"Damn it," you look up at the ceiling and hear Toji turn the TV back on in the living room. As you lay there, you let the memories and events sink in. He lets out a loud laugh at something he saw on the screen, and you're reminded that Toji is, in fact, a dickhead.

But you can easily admit that he's an excellent fuck. You're pretty sure that no one's any closer to finding the guy that threatened you. Maybe you can get one last round in before his job's done.

#jjk smut #jjk x reader #jjk #toji jjk #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk toji #toji x you #fushiguro #toji x y/n #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you

[thesargasmicgoddess]

Today, I say goodbye to England...

**warning: emotions and ramblings ahead. 😆

I'm toasting the end of what I'm fondly calling my "2023 World Tour" 😆 I've been home for exactly 7 days since the end of May. I've traveled over 25000 miles over 7 weeks to Asia and England. I've packed and unpacked over 20 times and have been on countless planes, trains, and automobiles.

This last week, I've been overwhelmed with emotions I can't quite fully place yet--but they all seemingly revolve around an aching theme of feeling bittersweet about new and old experiences and longings.

(Well, THAT was a plot twist I didn't expect on this trip. 😂)

There are certain growths that can only be experienced through pushing beyond comfort zones. I was, surprisingly, stronger, less introverted, and more flexible than I ever expected. There were challenges and new things: the nostalgia of old friends and old haunts; the paying of respects to those that are no longer with us; the visiting of those I grew up with; the first time meeting of a longtime online friend.

As exciting as all of this travel has been, I'm ready for home. Maybe it's the absence of routine and home comforts, or maybe it's the mental shifts required for traveling this long and traveling alone, but I seem to be more emotionally vulnerable during this last week. That bittersweet feeling I've had all week hasn't wanted to let up, and I've been trying to chase down all the reasons behind this feeling.

Visiting places that had helped shape the person I am today, 22 years ago, is in itself, bittersweet. I remember 20 year old me thinking about the passions of the future and yearning for more. I've changed quite a bit, yet the buildings and memories remain. It is an odd feeling of time flying by, yet standing still.

I've pondered a lot about the magic of connections on this trip, juxtaposed with the blessed angst of being someone who feels too much. Every touch, every step, every memory, every feel--I want to capture it all like lightning in a bottle, yet it's almost too much to take in all at once some days. I tell myself to breathe, but sometimes I can't quite catch my breath because I feel so much. Wanting to live a full life can be quite overwhelming for introverted souls who feel too much, but I am so blessed to have the fortitude and opportunities to live fully--albeit sometimes a bit crazily 😆

When you think about the growth of a person throughout their lifetime and the range of intense emotions, experiences, thoughts--it's really quite amazing.

I know my blog hasn't exactly been on "fun smut" brand this last week, but I've always been authentic here. And what has been authentic this week has been....well...a lot of writing, emotions, and processing. I believe in balance-- and I believe that to each irreverent light fun side, there is a darker, more soulful, extremely sensitive side lurking right beneath the surface. I've definitely been more of the latter this last week.

If you've read this far, thank you. This was a needed catharsis for me and a step in processing everything.

So, where to go from here?

I'm not sure. It will take me a minute to mentally and emotionally decompress, unpack, and process all the experiences I've had over the last 2 months. My posts have always been mood-dependent and my moods have been all over the place so......stay tuned 😆😂

Since I can't do anything in a normal, typical fashion--I just have to go with the flow and say cheers to adventures and unexpected soul-searching vacations. I will still take living passionately and deeply over feeling nothing at all most days....

But a break for the rest of today might be a good idea. Or else I'm drinking on the plane.😂

After all this rambling, The Corpus Clock and all that it represents seems appropriate for this post 😂

Onward...

#ramblings and musings #england #adventures #my travels #all the feels #total infj moment 😂 #cambridge #corpus clock

[danganronpa96]

Do you have a full cast in mind for the hypothetical third Danganronpa fic?

Since these 2 asks are quite similar, I'm gonna answer them together.

In fact, yes I do have a few other characters that I've thought about adding. I don't have enough yet for a full cast, and my ideas keep changing so this isn't set in stone but more or less a bit of fun.

That being said, I'd like to add Miles Morales because of my ongoing Spiderverse obsession. Even though there's a lot of good options, I think he'd be pretty cool to have.

I've also had the idea of JFK (Clone High), Mung Daal (Chowder -- I've been on a bit of a nostalgia trip re-watching that show lol), Kedamono (Popee the Performer, I know he's kind of mute but I can make it work)...

...And this girl named Kokomi Shiina which you probably haven't heard of - she's from an anime (originally a mobile game) called Girlfriend Beta. Yes I know that sounds bad but it's a bit of a nostalgia thing for me as it's one of the first animes I ever watched on this weird old free anime app I downloaded years ago (and is probably gone now). Despite the game being about dating the girls yourself, the anime just makes them so gay for each other so 🤷 love wins.

Otherwise, I was also thinking of maybe adding a character from No Straight Roads (I was leaning towards Eve, but I'm still unsure if any would work in the cast).

But I did have an idea for the mascot/host/Monokuma character... Hello Kitty! But, er, as Monokitty. I mean, she does have an official(?) mono-design, plus I think turning someone so cute and wholesome into a sickly sweet sadist would really spice things up.

#kanade: oh its hello kitty #monokitty: bitch you thought #i only dont have a ton of ideas as i dont want to force myself into consuming a media just for a character #i want the process to come naturally to me #like hey cool media and cool character i like #3rd kg hypothetical

[blindrapture]

Hey... Hello there, Jordan! You might not remember me, but I'm AC11 from waaaay back at the Fear Mythos? I was doing some cleaning on my 'puter and I found my way back to the OG JCINK forum and man... It was a trip down memory lane.

Don't know if you keep in touch with the other members like Alliterator, LizardBite, Red, Cute, etc and I know it's been almost a decade... But idk, I just got real nostalgic and I wanna say Thank You to y'all. Right now I'm in a good place writing-wise, I got an amazing opportunity and I owe it to the community since it was the first serious writing community I ever joined. So yeah... just wanted to say thank you for everything <3 <3 <3

Of course I remember you, AC. You wrote Memories, Chronicles, Tales. And you analyzed Jordan Eats Normally Now and called it a masterpiece. :)

There is a lot of nostalgia in the Fear Mythos. Hundreds of stories, lots of discussion and mutual enthusiasm for writing. We were a community of writers! I went through a period of nostalgia for it when I was making Viceking's Graab, as I wanted to consider our history in full, so I had to go through the forums, the wiki, the original TVTropes thread and archive every story anyone had ever written for it. The mythos still has memories for me.

I don't really keep in contact with the others. I've heard from alliterator a few times, mainly I end up relaying messages to him from Fear people asking questions. cute and I are mutuals on twitter. LizardBite is writing books! I'm friends, or, mutuals with Red on facebook, he seems happy and also still writes. TheSomnambulist is still someone I consider a friend. I don't know if you were around when Dr0Shadow and Hexillith joined the mythos, but they're very much still in contact with me. I recommend asking around for the Fear Mythos discord server, if you haven't already; plenty more people are active there, it's a chill little hangout spot, and you're sure to find some old faces.

I'm really proud of you for what you're doing. Make the most of your good place, do it for us. :)

#ask post #the fear mythos

[northwest-cryptid]

I don't collect many things, but of the things I do collect I think the most surreal is physical Mabinogi merch.

To explain Mabinogi is an MMORPG that came out in 2008 and I've been playing it ever since beta. I'd argue it has plenty of charm and enough reason even now in 2023 for anyone with even some slight interest in it to give it a shot however to me (and to my partner) it has a special place. Not only is it how my partner and I met, but it's literally a game I have played for 15 years now; considering I'm 28 that's over half my entire life.

As you might imagine back in middle school and even early high school I didn't really have a lot of money, let alone the understanding of how to order things from overseas. So a very niche MMORPG didn't necessarily have a lot of merch out and about. While most kids at my school had Pokémon backpacks or some kind of Anime plastered on their shirt (normally Naruto or Dragonball) I never had physical merch. So I was always that annoying kid who had to verbally tell you how much I liked my dumb special interest.

To give you an idea of how much this game was a part of my life, my mother once bought me an actual copy of the Mabinogion, like; the book that the game is loosely based on, it's entirely in Welsh and my mom also gave me a dictionary to translate it, I was stoked about this; I was in early high school walking around with a black book with a red symbol on the front speaking in Welsh as you can imagine this did not make me popular and cool.

Now my partner and I collect actual official merch, just last year we acquired a few magazines, guide books, and even manga. It's incredible to behold such a snapshot of time from when this was all still new and popular.

This is a guide book from back when the slogan for the game was still "fantasy life" it would later become "anime life" and a few other things; but this is the one I remember from my childhood:

We were really excited to look through this and translate it, more over we were taken aback by the system requirements listed in the guide book, I mean just check out these specs!

The funniest part is that there was a time at which I was getting a new laptop because I had to travel and I specifically gave the guy at Bestbuy this almost exact rundown for the specs I needed. This was of course because my plan was to install Mabi on it, which I did. However I had a hard time explaining to anyone why I wanted these sort of specs specifically without saying "uh so I can play an extremely niche online game from Korea?"

We also got books that were literally Item and databooks which had full lists of items you could obtain in the game as well as what races and genders could use them:

This was an absolute trip down nostalgia lane for us.

I cannot stress just how cool it was to flip through these pages and go "oh shit I had those, oh I remember that! Remember this? Yea it was from an event, damn that was a long time ago; oh god I'm old."

It's crazy to see just how much detail and effort went into these! I didn't even know they existed, if I was aware of these back in school I'd have gone ballistic over them like, check this out there's entire pages dedicated to Generation 1:

of course the merch pages caught our eye looking over all the stuff we have yet to hunt down for our collection

These books are great and I personally love the manga, illustrations of the world that I've only ever seen as low poly PMGs is such a sight to behold as a long time fan.

However you may notice something, there's not a ton of physical merch. Sure there's books and manga, and it seems like at one point there were standees and a few figures, posters, and mugs; but these days getting your hands on the rarer merch can be difficult and not to mention expensive.

That's sort of why we excitedly took matters into our own hands, slowly and methodically recreating the game's PMG models as OBJs we can actually print from our 3D printer. It's not easy but it's totally worth it.

I know this probably sounds REALLY stupid to you, and I wouldn't blame you for laughing at me for it; but the fact that I have played this game for 15 years; and today I held a 3D printed figure of a Golem in my fucking hands has me feeling a certain kind of way that's hard to explain. Knowing I could print figures of our characters, our favorite NPCs, not to mention entire dungeons and create dioramas of our favorite places from a game that means so much to me is genuinely mind boggling.

I think the part of all this that still has me in disbelief is that if you asked me what I wanted when I was a depressed 16 year old in school who came home and immediately jumped on Mabi; I'd 100% tell you that I just want to live alone with a partner who enjoyed Mabi and maybe a few cats. Now I'm 28 living with a partner who I not only met via this game but who is actually significantly better than me at it lol; we also have 3 cats and our home is slowly but surely being decorated with more and more Mabinogi crafts. I don't mean to sound like my life revolves around this game, though I admit I do laugh when my partner breaks out her signature slogan of "Mabinogi is Real Life" but I guess in a sense it just feels like I've fucking made it you know? I did it, I finally got the life I was longing for and while it may not feel real; every day this sort of thing happens makes it a littler harder to deny that I'm living the dream. I'm far from rich and I'm far from healthy; and I don't exactly have a great career or anything sure, but I think 16 year old me would be happy with the way I turned out.

[thestoriedwillow]

I need to get my ass out into the hills to do some fucking stargazing. I've been writing The Quiet Dark for untold months now and the night sky is such a huge deal in the setting but I've been here in suburbia the entire time with an intolerable level of light pollution hiding the stars from me.

You ever get out into the mountains, far off from the lights and just look up? It's breathtaking. Breath-GIVING, to steal a turn of phrase from a certain John Green. More stars than you can comprehend, with the milky way arcing across the midnight sky like... Like...

And see, here it is that my words fail me. It's been too long, years and years since I've been camping, and what feels like a full decade since I last saw the night sky in all the splendor my soul recalls. I can't put the words together to adequately communicate how impossibly beautiful I remember the night sky to be, back on that one night on that one camping trip way back when that hangs around in my mind every time I try to weave starlight into my writing.

I think at some level I might be chasing a dream, trying to bring across a vision of astral beauty that's rooted more in memory than anything else, firmly grounded in the nostalgia of simpler times, but I really do think there's something truly incredible about the night sky, something that I miss dearly.

I need to find that again. I doubt it'll actually help me get much more writing done, of course. No... I just need to seek that beauty, one way or another.

#writing #stargazing #I don't know how to tag stuff #stars #3 am thoughts #how many of these tags can I add here #they really just let me type whatever here #i cannot be stopped

[jabithajates]

oh please do share your thoughts on whatever the fuck Riverdale is trying to do because I'm losing my mind over here from sheer confusion

Ah, perfect timing. I was just going to type up my post for this.

It's easy to lose your mind from sheer confusion, because I feel like I've been swinging on a pendulum since December. I think they’re trying to do is use all of this very overt religious imagery and plot to portray this battle of inner liberation for each character.

Get ready, I'm about to go full Charlie.

The last two seasons of Riverdale have been deeply entrenched in consequence, and how its affect on the characters have affected the town, whereas previously it was the other way around.

If Season 5 was about its characters developing their values and desires as adults, because what was stopping them in high school and youth isn't a barrier anymore, Season 6 has overtly been a season about morality; how the consequences of those choices affects their conscious. The season serves as an opportunity for them to reflect on their past and make peace or amends with it, so that the sins of it won’t bleed into the future that aligns with their true wants and values will be ruined.

Except for Tabitha. She’s a literal angel because she doesn’t have any pre-time skip sins to make up for and has done nothing but the right thing since she arrived. Hence her focus on liberating everyone else.

But Bunker!Jughead serves as a pivotal example of this divide.

Hello darkness my old friend, indeed.

Bunker Jughead represents the worst parts of Season 5 Jughead, who retreated to deep isolation and let everything fester in the dark.

The bunker being the portal into hell is no coincidence if you remember his worst wounds of S5 take place there. Final place he goes to before college after being left behind by everyone? The bunker. First home he has coming back into Riverdale because he burned all his bridges from selling The Outcasts? Bunker. Where do we hear how extensive the debt he owes is? Bunker. Mushroom trip where he hallucinates about teenage Betty? Bunker. Trying to reconcile with Betty (and it doesn’t go quite how he thinks)? Bunker. His relapse? Bunker. Stealing Cora’s story to sell as his own? Bunker. It’s where where the lowest, most pathetic, side of him lies.

You can take the line about how he rarely leaves it as a metaphor for how he can’t leave this pit he’s dug himself in. It’s how Dale!Jughead or Season 6 Jughead, could’ve turned out if he kept going the route he was on in early season 5. I love Ethel calling him out as pathetic for his one sided pining, because it serves as the show calling out who he was. Past tense, Jughead’s done a deal of learning how to communicate since.

Season 6/Dale!Jughead is faced with seeing that clearer than ever; if he dares to revert back to his unrequited feelings for this ghost, this version of Betty that died and no longer exists, continues to bite in and indulge in his own gluttonous nostalgia and greed, lets that old toxicity interfere, it will destroy him. So this part, Bunker!Jughead, needs to die or be dealt with if Dale!Jughead is to be with Tabitha without the past infesting their future together.

But Dale!Jughead dies when he first sees his Bunker version alone. He can’t deal with it by himself.

He would have died forever if he didn’t let Tabitha in, and if she didn’t fight to bring him back to earth like she fought for his sobriety and wellbeing. Interesting how he’s only able to survive Bunker!Jughead with Tabitha there, just like how he’s been able to conquer all his other worldly demons and will conquer this one, as well as Percival — working with her, his angel, by his side.

#asks #hopefully this makes sense #from a technical non plot standpoint they’re doing this to bait lol #but i think they’ve shown often that they’re completely committed to jabitha #and jabarchonggie endgame #Jughead Jones #Tabitha Tate #jabitha

[tokyoheiku]

Japan 2024

Finally, after 12 years, I went back to Japan for nearly a month! It's a trip that's been a long time coming; a trip I've had many, many dreams about lol. After losing my passion for Japan/Japanese by the time my degree ended (for various reasons), it took a few years before I was toying with the idea of going back, particularly to see friends who had decided to go and move there (or already lived there) post-university. And then of course you've got to factor in time and cost. 2020 was the first time things seemded to be aligning and I really thought I might go back, but then, well, obviously I couldn't.

Then late last year, a friend (let's call her M) I recently got back in contact with happened to be planning her own Japan trip, and from time to time would mention that I should come along. I was hesitant at first (time and money!) but after thinking it over I realised that actually, for lots of reasons, this lined up pretty perfectly with my current life situation. So I agreed and we booked the trip!

This is a summation of that trip :D In parts cuz I can only upload so many photos per post -

Week 1! Tokyo

Our flight was indirect: Heathrow --> Helsinki --> Narita, with Finnair, who I have to hand it to, did a fantastic job. The planes were so nice and modern, and neither flight caused me any ear pain, which is a massive deal for me - if you've flown with me before, you'll know. Not to mention, the second flight only had 70 people on it...! So we were able to lay down. In economy! Plus we had some reindeer pasta during our layover in Helsinki, so now I can say I've done that. As flights go, (and for my first ever layover flight) it was possibly one of the best I've ever been on. Even though it was dragging toward the end of the 13 hours.

I don't know exactly what I had expected when arriving back in Japan, but it was so easy to just pick up where I left off. Everything was familiar, I was able to speak the language, I was finally returning to places I used to live.. it's amazing how quicky the brain just normalises these things. It was almost like I'd never left and those 12 years turned into nothing. This time I also had the added bonus of lots of pre-trip research, and google maps/translate (which I mostly needed for kanji every so often.!). I felt more at home than I did during my year abroad, I think. And in a far, far better mindset, to boot. I feel like I was able to take things in more; to experience the differences more. Or maybe I just don't remember what it was like 12 years ago lol

Something that catches your attention immediately in Japanese cities (apart from the neon) are the smells - walking by the many, many restaurants you'll get passing wafts of amazing smelling Japanese food. London cannot compete...! And for our first meal we ate at Torikizoku, an izakaya (pub-esque places where you can order Japanese 'tapas' style dishes for cheap) chain, and it was just immediately so heartening; even chain Japanese food is better than any Japanese food we can get in the UK. And my god, the price. I know the yen is weak right now which really worked in our favour this trip, but even so. A full meal for around £7 each.

It'd be an incredibly long post if I went day by day, so here are highlights of week one, separated by activities, and food

Activities:

Wandering around Shimokitazawa! I used to go fairly frequently since it was only a couple of stops away from Meidaimae, my station, which we also dropped into for that taste of nostalgia. Shimokitazawa is known for being a bit hipster, with a lot of vintage clothing shops. It's a nice change of vibe from the bigger areas like Shinjuku/Shibuya etc.

Night out in Shinjuku, at Psy Bar! One of the many, many tiny little bars dotted around Shinjuku/Kabukicho, this one was specifically rock/metal music themed and could house maybe 15 people? The guy behind the bar was already wasted, and a huge personality. Everyone was really friendly and the music was great. Definitely worth experiencing :D

Magical Lollipop Maid Cafe - we had to go to at least one! This one was themed around magical girls in training trying to become powerful enough to protect their customers. Despite the theme, it was pretty subdued compared to some other maid cafes but it was nice to chat to the maids and, of course, have our own omuraisu drawn on

Team Lab Planets - worth a mention mainly for the LED room tbh. I didn't think it was as good as it's made out to be, but then again it's so overhyped that that's pretty difficult. Worth experiencing, I think.

Muscle Girl Bar - absolutely fantastic. A++++. Only in Japan. The photos speak for themselves. M got slapped by like 8 muscley women and I got carried by two.

Food:

Fluffy Japanese pancakes from Flippers - dear god these are so light and fluffy and delicious and absolutely worth having if you ever go

Nabezou - a restaurant chain that does hotpot style dishes - specifically, in my case, SUKIYAKI! This is maybe my favourite meal of all time

Fancy yakiniku - yakiniku, but fancy

Zarusoba - a dish I'd never had before but have really come to enjoy: cold soba noodles you dip in a sauce. M ordered this tempura squid side dish which I ended up absolutely loving despite always having had reservations about squid in the past

Konbini bento boxes - the fried chicken/rice one was particularly good :D

Noteworthy mentions:

Shopping in Shibuya - it's worth traversing around 109 just to have a look.

Pokemon Centres - by the end of week 1 we'd already hit up a few

Cat Cafes - same here lol

Atami - a seaside town 40 minutes away from Tokyo by bullet train, where we went to the plum blossom garden

It's possible I front-loaded week 1 a little too much, but it ended up being so, so much fun - even if incredibly exhausting lol. By week 2 I was already feeling like I had eaten too much...!

A few things I took note of -

Japan is just so convenient. Everything this country does is to aid in helping make people's lives a little bit easier; diametrically opposed to England in that sense...! Having convenience stores literally everywhere really is so convenient, and the vending machines as well. There are drug stores on every corner, Starbucks on every other corner.. you could come to Japan with your passport and phone and immediately be within 5 minutes of everything you could possibly need.

On the flip side, they're obsessed with 1 ply toilet paper??? I get it, conservation etc, but if you're gonna go hard on conservation efforts, cut down on the plastic, Japan, not the toilet paper lol

Getting around takes time. Even if a train journey only takes 5 minutes, walking around the massive stations will take 10, and if you're outside, you've got to wait ages for traffic lights to change..!!! This was true everywhere I went, not just the metropolis that is Tokyo. Maybe it's different further out from the cities though.

Oh, and jingles. Jingles everywhere. I love them :')

Week 2 next!

[beaze11]

6:42 PM 6/7/23

Summer is in full swing

What's new with me? Since my last entry I got tinder, kind of reconnected with my ex, moved away from hayday and reverted back to clash royale. The new little mermaid movie came out and I sobbed for the whole thing. I just love mermaids so much and that has always been my favorite disney princess movie. I was hit with this insane rush of nostalgia. I have always tried to stay in touch with things from my childhood because I don't believe your interests have to change as you grow older. But seeing this movie really made me realize I will never be that person again. Obviously I don't want to be a kid again and I don't behave like a child, but the simplicity and joy that came with being a child is something that cannot be mimicked as an adult.

It's pride month yayyy. My second pride being fully out. My first pride being genuinely in-tune with my sexuality. I really wanted to go to the pride parade this year but I'm going out of town. I bought some discreet ace pins on etsy because I want something that represents that side of me but I can't have my dad finding out. Lucky for me, he has no clue what the ace flag looks like and will probably never come across that information. Multiple people have told me I should try dating women and that I might have a better experience with that. Obviously I've thought about that and would very much love to be in a relationship with a woman but that's SCARY. I am like way more scared to hurt a woman than a man.

I saw paramore live and actually died. I had to call out of work the next day because I felt so sick. I was just feeling such intense emotions and so overstimulated for hours on end. Even when I was young, I always made sure to take a break during concerts but I didn't this time and it had dramatic results.

I also went on a trip with one of my close friends for the first time. Brought out a side of her that I've never seen. She just didn't like this place and showed no interest. I was taken aback because that is literally my favorite place ever and she knew how important it was to me but she just shoved it off. Like don't come on the trip if you're just going to a bitch the whole time. It didn't like affect our friendship or anything, I just won't invite her back. you live and you learn

Currently watching: "how do rich people actually dress?" Mina Le on youtube

#wildfire

[creaturesfromelsewhere]

Horror Pinball Paradise Lurks in Tarpon Springs, FL

"Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball." -The Who

Recently I paid my first visit to a peculiar little museum in the quiet little town of Tarpon Springs, FL, which lies just to the north of St. Petersburg and Clearwater. Unlike most museums, the Replay Amusement Museum is strictly hands-on and this museum is filled with horrors. Horror-themed pinball machines, that is. Something about this particular genre of pin always fascinated my friends (fiends?) and I, even as tiny little monsters. Unlike other pinball machines, these weren't 'nice'. They growled. They wanted to scare you. They played creepy music and unleashed nightmarish sounds upon the arcade. In short, they were irresistible to the darkly inclined! Instead of using quarters at Replay, you pay an entrance fee and you can play until you drop, or until closing time, whichever comes first.

Replay boasts almost all of the best horror machines, staring the number one, best selling pinball machine of all time, The Addams Family, based on the 1991 movie staring Angelica Houston and Raul Julia. This machine has sold a whopping 20,000+ units and is usually ranked as a top 5 personal fav of anyone who plays. Tons of sound captured from the movie puts this game into a category all it's own with world class gameplay to boot.

The second best selling horror-themed pin doesn't break the top ten, but comes in at the 11th best selling machine, and Replay has it, too. The Twilight Zone. As with The Addams Family, there's a huge arsenal of voice and sound straight from the 1960's TV show.

Now we move into the more niche games. They sold well enough, and are usually well regarded, but they were always harder to find and you rarely saw more than one of them in the same place. Call them victims of the 'we already have a horror pin' syndrome. My personal fav, Haunted House, is blessedly here and it looks almost brand new. Hadn't played it in forever and it was just like seeing an old friend who has been absent for far too long. We got along just like old pals. In my youth, this game ate fist-fulls of my quarters with it's irresistible 3 level playing field ("Triple playfields mean triple fun"). I especially appreciated the haunting green color of the 'basement' playfield. Everyday I played this beauty was like Halloween! If I was stupid rich and could own my own pin, this would be it. If I could also afford a Victorian mansion like the one on the cabinet to house it in, even better.

Next up is another popular one, Creature From the Black Lagoon. This one came out right after The Addams Family, and I played it a fair amount, but could never get the hang of it. Really appreciated the theme, though. Excellent sound from the movie and a genuine hologram of The Creature really set this one apart (the film was originally released in 3-D, hence the hologram).

Attack from Mars came out a few years after Creature, and features a strobe (seizure warning!) plus cute little Martian figures and a whole fleet of flying saucers - that light up!

Bram Stoker's Dracula, based on the 1992 move staring Gary Oldman and Winona Rider, is here with it's multi-ball play and interesting gimmick of a magnet that drags a ball across the playfield. Always looked great with it's red color theme.

And we'll round things out with a couple of newer games, Stranger Things and The Walking Dead. Loved both shows, but never got into the pins. Haven't really played much since about the mid-90's, with a couple of exceptions. Both seemed nice enough, but by this point in my visit, I was getting rather fatigued. And unlike the older machines where I could rely upon muscle memory, I'd never played these before and was terrible at them.

I have never seen so many fine horror pins under one roof, and I haven't even mentioned the dozens of other pins lining both walls of this place, with dozens of video games between. A perfect nostalgia trip for anyone who ever haunted an arcade with a few newer machines tossed in to keep it interesting. The one pin I was surprised not to see was one of the Elvira machines. But I'm sure Elvira will turn up sooner or later to complete the creepy collection. Once she does, she can wish you "Unpleasant dreams," when they finally toss you out at closing time.

#pinball #horror pinball #replay amusement museum #tarpon springs #the addams family #haunted house #bram stoker's dracular #stranger things #the walking dead #creature from the black lagoon #darkly inclined #the twilight zone #attack from mars #arcade

[headinthestaticsky]

Extras for The Dusk Calls for me.

Authors Note: While I plan out the next few chapters of my story, enjoy these memories I did for the re-write I did on Wattpad.

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and a attempt of SA

Time: This Takes place a year before the beginning of The Dusk Calls for me.

"Makes me feel like flying

Top-down backstreet driving Dusty road all alone

Tip my hat Puff of smoke, smoke

Makes me feel like flying

I just run ."

American Gurl by: Kilo Kish

I was finally out, those words of bile my mother and sister spew toward me finally pushed me over the edge. Yet those words finally got me back with my father in Forks, where I always belonged.

Flashback: One Week Ago.

"FLEUR! GET DOWN HERE NOW!" My erratic mother Renee yelled from downstairs.

My heart started beating out of my chest, what did I do this time? I walked into the dining room, Renee and Isabella were sitting at the table across from where I was sitting. Bella had a smirk on her face relishing in the tension between Renee and I.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You always have to cause trouble don't you?' She replied back, malice laced her voice.

"What? What are you even talking about?"

"Bella told me you've been saving money to go see your father in Forks." She spat at me.

My rapidly beating heart sunk down into my stomach, I had been trying to see my dad in Forks for a year now. My mother refused to get me a plane ticket herself, she always told me I reminded her too much of my father and that I didn't need to be around him anymore than I already was which wasn't often.

"Mother, it's my money I can do with it as I please," I said calmly though I could feel the rage beginning to boil in my blood.

"YOU AREN'T GOING!" She yelled demandingly.

I couldn't control myself, it was as if someone else had entered my body.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS SO WRONG FOR WANTING TO SEE MY FATHER!?"

"I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE THAT KIND OF MONEY ON YOU!"

"Well you aren't now aren't you? It's my own money and I will use it however the hell I want to!"

"Oh don't you..." Renee started.

"Are you going to tell me you would be doing the same thing if Bella was the one wanting to go see dad?"

"She isn't a trouble maker." She snapped back.

"How am I a trouble maker? For wanting my mother to be kind and considerate? For wanting my mother to treat me with respect? To get an ounce of love from the frozen, undead heart inside your chest?" I asked, my face heated up it felt like it was burning.

"If you can't stand to be around us so much why don't you just move down there to Forks?"

"I will, just give me the rest of the money for the plane ticket and I swear to god the second I walk out that door I will NEVER come back!"

"Fine..." I turned away from her before she could say anything else. Before I reached the stairs I turned around again, looking directly at Bella.

"Get away from her while you can Isabella, or you're going to end up being just as toxic as she is." I then left before they could say anything else.

Flashback over: 2 years before the Original story begins.

I looked to the side, staring out the window. The desert plains had disappeared while I slept and now the lush green forests overtook the view. The fog wasn't heavy but the skies were covered with dark grey clouds and a downpour of rain. The cold weather was a lot more favorable in my opinion, the sun couldn't burn my skin much here. The plane had begun to shake signaling that the plane was beginning to land. I couldn't wait to see my father again, I hadn't seen him since my 12th birthday. When I got off the plane I stretched, being cramped in a small plane for an almost 3-hour flight wasn't exactly the most comfortable.

I walked through the crowded airport, scanning the area for my father. I bumped into some disgruntled couples and quickly left before I was caught in the crossfires of their mood.

"Petal?" I heard from behind me. I turned around quickly recognizing that voice, it could calm me down before I got into trouble.

"Dad..." I said fondly before running up to hug him.

My heartfelt I little more full, and the pain my mother inflicted on me was healed for the time being. We walked out together, each of us was carrying a bag. The wind was strong today and my hair was flying all of the places. Its cooling touch raised goosebumps on my skin, mom didn't buy any warmer clothes for me so I was stuck in the typical Arizona tank tops and shorts. Luckily for me, the car was already warmed up so I dethawed quickly. We drove for a few minutes in silence, the roar of the engine and other passing cars were the only sounds filling the space.

"So, how have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while." Dad said.

"I've been better, you know how mom is," I mumbled.

"I don't know what happened to her, she wasn't like that in high school. If she was I wouldn't have even wasted a second on her."

"I know you would've dad...she's cruel for sure. She's just good at hiding it from people she wants to impress."

"Yeah, she is."

The drive was a giant wave of nostalgia, being 16 now and seeing all of the familiar sites and views brought back fond memories. The old ice cream shop dad use to take me to, the reservation that Sam and Leah lived on, it all brought me back. It also fueled anger, however, as my mother constantly kept me under the brutal radiation of the sun.  Dad must've seen the look on my face and put his hand on my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Petal, you're away from her now." He comforted.

"It's not just her dad... Bella's acting like her too."

"That's a shame... it really is."

"Yeah... it is." I sighed.

"I just can't wait to get back home, the attic is calling for me."

Dad chuckled before speaking again.

"You know... I heard you just got your license... So I got you an older car."

"You did not have to do that dad."

"It doesn't get in until next week, so I'll have to drive you to school until then," Dad said as if that would balance out the fact he got me a car.

"That's fine dad. What is it?"

"It's an old Mustang, a Fastback."

"Thank you, dad..."

"No problem Petal.

When we pulled into the driveway of our small but beautiful home the nostalgia fully set in. The colors were exactly the same, and the grass was just as muddy and dead as before.

"Well I cleared off some shelves for you in the bathroom, your room was a bit dusty so I just cleaned it for you," Dad explained as he helped me take my luggage upstairs.

"Sounds good, thank you again, dad, I love you."

"Love you too Petal." He kissed my head before closing the door behind me. The room was bare, I would have to fix it later on. I collapsed on my bed, facing the ceiling.

"I'm home."

September 17th, 2004.

"Dad I have to go, I don't want to be late on my first day!" I exclaimed throwing on a leather jacket.

"Petal I am almost ready, I never knew you were so much of a bookworm." He joked, ruffling my hair.

"Dad I am an entire school year ahead of where I should be... I take my education very seriously." I said, trying to hide the growing smirk on my face.

"Alright alright let's go," Dad said, taking my arm and pulling me out the door.

We were only driving for a little bit when I decided to roll the window down, I placed my arms on where the window used to be and rested my head on them. My hair blew out of my face and the cool mist of Forks hit me. When we arrived at the school dad was scanning the parking lot looking for a place to park when he passed right by a group of people. They were all gorgeous, their faces seemingly perfectly sculpted, and they all had the same colored eyes, golden. My eyes locked with one however, they were filled with pain for a second before melting into shock. something strange filled my chest and my heart began to race. As we drove past them I gave him a smile, hoping to ease his shock.

Timeskip: September 30th, 2004

Something was up, the boy I saw outside that window, Jasper Hale was more than what he seemed. He was freezing cold all the time, and I swore I saw his eyes turn black for a split second when he saw a boy from another make a gesture toward me. It was strange really, we had been friends for a few weeks but he seemingly had a protective...energy over me. But at the same time, I still felt something... I couldn't explain it. It was as if we were connected to each other in some way. My dad had to take my car to the shop and he couldn't pick me up today so I decided to take a trip to the library, hoping to find some new material to read.

I didn't realize how long I had been in the library until I looked out of the small windows of the building. The sky was darkened and daylight was running out, I checked out a few books and left not wanting to be stuck walking in the night. I was a few blocks home when I heard 3 men talking behind me.

"Oh looks at this one..."

"She seems perfect for us."

"Come here girly... we just want to talk."

My heart raced and my pace quickened, speed walking home. I tried taking weird turns and cuts but they wouldn't fall for the bait. I decided to run for it hoping my legs would be quick enough to evade them all. I was then pushed against the wall 2 minutes into my escape again, the smell of alcohol made me want to retch.

"You aren't very good at listening to orders." One murmured, his face was inches away from me, he breathed in my scent and began to chuckle.

"Don't be too hard on her... I like ones that fight." Another said

"Make this easy on yourself girl..."

One reached down to take off my clothes when he was suddenly thrown back a few feet into the air. I just stood against the wall shocked, I saw Jasper standing over the man before making his way over to the other two men. They both took off leaving their "friend" behind but Jasper zoomed toward them. His speed was inhuman and his strength was unprecedented yet I couldn't stop myself from moving from my spot. The other two men were flown into the air and scream on impact. Jasper grabbed them both by the throats.

"If you EVER try to touch her or any woman for that matter like that again... I. will. kill. you!" He growled before releasing them down on the ground. They gasped and ran again, babbling in terror toward one another.

Jasper walked toward me with a guilty look on his face, his hand reached out for mine and I took it without even thinking.

"Come with me Darlin' I have a lot to explain to you." He said softly, his mood had completely changed with me.

We walked for a few moments in silence, I side-eyed him for any shift in behavior, when it didn't I decided to interrogate him.

"How did you do that?" My voice trembled.

He sighed before replying.

"I'm a vampire." He said blatantly.

I looked at him and laughed thinking it was a joke... when he didn't join I stopped and looked at him with shock.

"You're serious?" I said, my eyes widening again.

"Yes I am, I've been 17 for...141 years. I got changed during the Civil War."

"Damn... you're old... wait were you in the Civil War?"

"Yes, I was drafted to the Confederate Army when I was 17..."

"Yikes..."

"You're telling me, I ran away the first chance I got... I wasn't going to fight in some war that was fueled by warped and disgusting ideas just because I was forced to. I never thought the way they did... I never understood why someone could think so low of a human being just because of his skin."

"That's very brave of you."

"I had just made it to Galveston when I decided to take a break... I ended up on a beach... that's when I ran into an immortal named Maria. She was creating an army and decided that I would be a good fit for it."

"She changed you against your will?"

"I didn't even know what she was doing until I felt searing pains from my arms all the way up to my neck." He explained rolling up his sleeves and showing me his scars."

I traced the teeth marks on his forearm before looking up at him again.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

He looked up at me in shock.

"You... you feel sympathy for something like me? I'm a monster..." He said sincerely.

"It wasn't even your choice as to what you became... and I don't think a monster would've saved me back there. Face it, Jasper, you're a big softie who's had bad experiences in his long... long life."

He chuckled before glancing at me, we made it back to the house, dad still wasn't home yet. We walked into the backyard, sitting in patio chairs and looking up at the stars.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Jasper admitted in the darkness.

I looked at him in confusion, what else did he have to tell me? He's a werewolf too?

"You're..." He hesitated. "You're my mate." He said quickly.

"What? How... vampires have mates?" I asked in shock.

"Yes we do, and we instantly know when we've met them. Didn't you feel it, when you looked out that window at me? It was enamour... love, something I have never experienced before."

"I haven't either... but I have to admit I felt something too. I just didn't know what it was, I felt connected to you somehow though. But... I'm 16... falling deeply in love isn't exactly something I planned."

"I understand completely. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. I understand I am a vampire... this is a lot to take in." Jasper said lowering his head in shame, his curls covered his eyes.

I sat up and turned to him.

"Hey, hey it's not just because you're a vampire honest! I just need to think things through... we can still talk in and out of school I won't push you out." I said a bit faced-paced. I didn't want to hurt his feelings he did just save me after all.

He looked and me and grabbed my hand.

"Take all the time you need Fleur, I will accept your answer no matter what is it." He said sincerely.

"Thank you... Jasper."

"It's not any trouble." His face lit up all of the sudden, car headlights entered my line of view. I felt my hand by dropped by his cold one and a whoosh of wind flew my hair forward. I turned back around and he was gone.

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004.

It was hard, weighing the pros and cons of being with Jasper.

Pros: We were soulmates... destined to be with each other, He knew my limits and respected my boundaries, he gave me a choice, not forcing me into something I might not want to do, and he was a kind and gentle soul. We understood each other, our hearts and souls were connected and I would never find someone else I would be so close to.

Cons: He was a creature who thirsted for blood... a thirst he didn't always have the best control over, Being in a serious relationship at such a young age was a huge commitment I didn't even fully know who I was... would I ever be able to find out who I am being so committed to someone If I did become involved in a relationship two things would happen... I would die and leave him lonely for eternity, or I would be turned into a vampire... leaving my family behind.

My mulling over of the pros and cons was interrupted, a girl had cleared her throat. I looked up realizing I was still in the school library, standing in the back of the constant isles of books. I turned to the voice and my eyes were shocked to see Rosalie Hale looking at me.

"Rosalie? Is there something you need?" I asked.

"Let's go for a walk, I need to talk to you in private." She said she seemed tense about something.

I checked out the books I got before following her to the outside, we walked near the edge of the woods. The dead leaves and grass crunched underneath our feet.

"I know Jasper told you about us... and he told me that you wanted to think somethings over with him." She started.

"Hey... I just wanted to let you know I would never tell anyone about you guys... And I'm not trying to hurt Jasper with me thinking our relationship over. It's just a lot of process." By the time I finished that statement she laughed and patted my shoulder.

"Don't worry Fleur I completely understand why you want to think over some things... I would too if I were in your shoes. Besides, I trust you... I get a good vibe off of you." Rosalie replied smiling at me.

"I want to get into a relationship with Jasper I do but... I don't want to leave my father... he's all I got right now and I'm all he's got."

"Hey, I promise no one would force you into becoming a vampire in our family... I especially wouldn't force you to."

"Really?"

"Yes of course... It's nice to meet someone with a respect for mortality."

"It's just... I always to do certain things... like going to that art school in Cayon City Oregon... the Art Museums down there are amazing... and I always wanted to kid when I was older... a little boy." I explained smiling fondly at the thought.

"I did too... I always wanted a son."

"But at the same time... I wouldn't want to spend all my time with Jasper... only to leave him alone for eternity you know?" I asked her hoping she would get my point of view.

"Of course... I can tell you've been conflicted these past few weeks about it. But I wanted to vouch for Jasper... he's willing to do anything for you, and his thirst for blood has never been more controlled than when he's been with you. He won't take you away from your family either... he would never want to hurt you in any way possible." She explains turning toward me to look me in the eyes so the message could really sink in.

"Thanks, Rosalie..."

"Of course...give Jasper a chance, I promise it'll be worth it." She said.

"I will... I'll talk to him tonight, thanks for the guidance."

"No problem."

Timeskip: October 16th, 2004: 10:12 PM

Dad was gone, he had to work late down at the station tonight. My palms and legs shook nervous to tell Jasper my decision. I was sitting in the same spot I was in when Jasper told me I was his soulmate... the cool air calmed my nerves slightly before I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Fleur? You said you wanted to talk to me... are you okay?" Jasper's voice asked worryingly behind my closed lids.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just wanted to give you an answer about... everything."

He sat down adjacent to me and nodded, wanting me to continue.

"I will get into a relationship with you... thank you for giving me the time to think about things."

He smiled before asking me if he could kiss my cheek. I said yes of course and it seemed my body melted in bliss and content. All the past weeks' tensions and worrying left me and it was replaced with love... and a sense of stability. We looked up at the stars and I pointed toward the largest one in the sky.

"You see that one?" I said.

"Yes, I do Darlin'."

"That is the star of the path I started with you..."

#twilight saga #twilight #jasper whitlock x oc #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale x oc #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen #jasper hale #jacob black #esme cullen #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #Emmett Cullen #bella swan

[tsuki-sennin]

Uekara takakitsukeru rakuin Aw yeah!

You'll never run from run from cheap na ranking!

Image senko regulation

Sokode nani o handan?! Soko ni nani ga?! Aw yeah! So uh... THE FULL VERSION OF LIVEDEVIL IS ABSOLUTELY THE SOUND I'M ENDING 2021 ON. Shit's running circles around me! I hope you all had a lovely holiday season! I've been busy these past couple days for pretty obvious reasons, and also playing Pokémon Brilliant Diamond. A bit too faithful a remake, but otherwise a very fun nostalgia trip! Now, back to your regularly scheduled Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh yeah, Ikki destroyed the giant cyst UFO that was apparently Gifu.

-Man, I have to hand it to Kinoshita. He really knows how to make Olteca as punchable as possible.

-Speaking of villainous squid guys, as a minor addendum for a previous entry in this series of liveblogs, I recently skimmed through the original series again, and I'd like to retract my comment about Dr. Shinigami being "some guy", because he's honestly such a great villain who deserves to be homaged with the (apparent as of this writing) acting main antagonist of this season. He's charming, intimidating, and the events leading up to his death is a spectacular bit of early Rider storytelling. While I maintain that Colonel Zol is infinitely more evil than Shinigami, I found him kinda underwhelming, since he doesn't really bounce off of anyone not named Taki or Hayato all that much. That's kinda my problem with a lot of the "executive" villains in the franchise's early days, they don't feel all that connected as villains.

-Now, to bring myself fifty years forward in time back to the present and away from that tangent, I'd like to say that Julio's a pretty keen-o character. It's easy to see him as only a sadistic thug like Zooous or Rook or Kitazaki before him, but he was a pretty fun and charming presence all through Revice's first quarter. His devotion to Aguilera gives him a lot more definition than I thought it would, and gives him a lot of dramatic weight. ...SO KICK SQUID MAN'S ASS WOLF BOY DO IT DO IT DO IT

-You say she "saved" you, huh buddy? Given what I know about the Deadmans' practices, I can't help but wonder if they manipulated those events too.

-OH FUUUUUCK AGUILERA'S TRANSFORMING

-Queen Bee! I was kinda hoping she'd be a snake or an eagle, but this fits well too! The first female Rider monster was a bee, after all.

-Damn, girl! You punch good!

-Conglaturation!!! You have completed a great game. And prooved the justice of our culture! Now go and rest our heroes!

-At least we won one thing today.

-Oh no, we're bringing the Gifu vagina statue back?

-I can only assume smashing it is a horrible idea, so I think maybe we should just lock it the fuck up.

-I guess even if Kudou was a bastard, he was still a human being. Ironically, he got much swifter and fairer justice from the Igarashi siblings than he likely ever witnessed in court, so I guess that's fittingly tragic. I have no such nuanced thoughts for Amahiko though, he's just a straight up creep and he had what was coming to him.

-P... Papa Jeanne-

-C'mon Hiromicchi, get this man to a doctor!

-This show is so fucking good you guys oh my god

-So, it doesn't seem like Aguilera's using the Vistamp to transform between Queen Bee and human form. That... brings up a lot of questions. Are Vistamps even necessary for Aguilera to transform?

-Since Julio says "Gifu-sama is safe" and that Aguilera says that having her human form is enough, does this mean Giftex transformations are permanent?

-Seems like she's out for blood now.

-At least Julio respects her privacy.

-I can understand having a poor image of your own body and wanting to change that, but I don't think identity theft is the way to go about it.

-OH THAT'S A WHOLEASS HEARTBEAT THAT'S CREEPY

-THAT'S FROM THE OPENING

-M e a t

-Back pain sucks, don't joke about it :c /lh

-Oh, here's the Sussy Baka himself! ...I'm just gonna end up calling him that all the time, since I don't think we're ever gonna get a name for him aside from Wakabayashi or Chameleon.

-Man, instantly finding good deals like that, I wish I had that kinda power.

-Oh yep, immediately trying something stupid.

-Ikki-nii, now you're *really* gonna have to pay for that!

-Man, having your one trick exposed like that must suck lmao

-Wow, Hiromicchi's the real MVP. We stan.

-Kick that bitch to the curb, kids!

-OH? IS THIS FINALLY OUR FIRST INSERT SONG!?

-OH FUCK YEAH

-This is some killer choreography btw. I don't really talk about a lot of the technicals, but the shot composition, the impacts, the creative use of our abilities, it's just... chef's kiss.

-DON'T HIT THE SNEK SHE IS FRIEND

-YOU TRIED TO EAT HER DON'T BE SO SURPRISED

-LIVE JACKAL YESSSSS GAMER TIME

-God, I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW SO MUCH

-Aw c'mon, you ain't gonna pay attention to that awesome ice egg shield with the beautiful color palette? You have no eye for detail, I swear...

-Fuck man, he knows exactly what Ikki was hoping to do.

-...that's who he was, huh? He's not some big shot lawyer man or respected counselor guy or cult leader, or a government commander... he was just some guy who got more power than he deserved.

-Well, Ikki did kinda rob him of revenge, so I can't really blame him for being out of it. ...oh, he's sick, that's not nice :(

-Demons Die, I Riot. Just throwing that out there.

-Hey, Georgie, what're ya doin' with that Vistamp? I don't think I've seen that one before, it looks important.

-...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

-Oh

-I guess "what the fuck ISN'T that is a bit more appropriate".

-WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

-Earlier in this very episode, we've established that the Gifu effigy has a heartbeat, and since Papa has no heart, then THAT MEANS-

-That's some good meat right there, I want it so bad...

-Oh yeah, the Ushijima family. I forgot they were characters for a moment.

-Thaaaaaat's creepy.

-Oh c'mon Sakura, don't do it!

-Well... our Vistamp 50 collection is complete, I guess!

-Oh boy, preview! ...I mean, I kinda figured his real name wasn't Julio, so that's not especially "trailer worthy", but THAT AGITO REVI THO-

-IS THAT BARID GENOME VICE TOO???? Is George done being a little bitch (affectionate)?

-Ok, I did a little research, and apparently that's the Volcano Rex Genome for Revi. It looks very cool, I really wanna see it in action soon.

#revice spoilers #kamen rider revice #revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kamen rider #tsuki talks

[sonthesheep]

Location Unknown

Asra X GN! MC/READER

note: it's been a while since I've written something, so here's a fluff drabble for asra to satiate my yearning hours

Prettiest is the time of the day where the sun temporarily paves its goodbye to the skies, how even the clouds change colors as they cling onto its warmth as if its saying not to let go and they will follow it around.

You had your eyes admiring the nature, with a heart full force of yearning. You thought it was funny how you see yourself like the sky, who wanted to chase to fulfill the tugging force of the longing deep within your soul.

"Asra"

you muttered beneath your breath, craving his skin against yours as you remember how his fingers brush against yours at the times he taught you the things you now know.

'traveling places i haven't seen you in ages, but i hope you comeback to me'

you took a deep sigh, and underneath it was a wish that someday somehow there'd be this time that he no longer has to leave, but instead he comes back to you and maybe this time he stays longer than he lingers but in the back of your mind you hoped he stays for good.

you closed your eyes as if you called for him on your mind, reminiscing how his eyes gently glowed with magic on his hands or how his lips curved when you unintentionally make him smile due to the silly questions you ask.

it amazes you how a person who seems to be the farthest at the moment appears to be nearest deep within, how such a special connection you felt whether he's right beside you or across the places he has been.

'My mind's running wild with you far away, I still think of you a hundred times a day'

is he aware of how you look at him? or maybe does he feel the excitement you feel when he comes home from the trips he has been? you asked trying to grip onto yourself as you begged the universe to bring his path back home.

it has only been days since he had a journey to unknown, somewhere he never really talked about, somewhere you don't know.

He might be in places with concealed location but he felt nearer everytime you yearned.

"i miss you so much asra" you muttered to yourself as you felt a slight ache on your heart, you begged him to bring you with him but he refused to because he wanted to keep you safe. that's why all alone you spent all the time you had to train yourself and your magic so someday you'd deem worthy to be in his expeditions.

'I just need to know that you're safe, given that I'm miles away'

You hoped he stayed warm and sound wherever he is, you knew his capabilities well and how responsible he is, it is that you hoped you were the one on his side to help him cater his needs

You longed for him so badly, that a scent of nostalgia sprayed onto your nose. the smell of the finest woods and the rarest of herbs tickled the bottom of your nose. it is as if feeling love through the sense of smelling, "i've gone nuts" you said to yourself.

the sun now fully submerged into the deep purple and blue hues of the skies, yet a gentle knock was heard on the door.

The door opened and your eyes twinkled, you must've been day dreaming so hard, it felt like you messed up with the system so bad.

With your heart thumping triumphantly, you gaze upon his bobbing fluffed clouds rushing near you, you tried to pinch yourself but your fingers froze and you couldn't bring yourself together.

It felt like a slow motion as his warm embrace succumbed your body. His arms hugged your waist squeezing it as if you're lost and now found.

you couldn't help yourself but have tears falling onto your eyes, you studied magic but never have it ever equalled to this satisfaction you have on hand

"I'm home, I missed you so bad" Asra said as his gentle voice tickled your ears.

you sniffled onto his neck, replying : "Oh asra, if only you knew"

"I know i was far away, but all i ever think of is how I'll get back to you Y/N"

SO LIKE HDHSJSHWHAUHS I CRY JSJAHSHWJSJS TELL ME!! I ACTUALLY WANNA DO ASRA'S POV IN THIS SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT????

#the arcana asra #mc x asra #the arcana #drabble #fanfiction #julian the arcana #julian #asra #asra alnazar #nadia satrinava #nadiathearcana #asra x apprentice #muriel the arcana #muriel of the kokhuri #muriel #portia #portia devorak #nix hydra

[lihikainanea]

MISS LEILANI. I'VE BEEN REREADING YOUR FICS and I had a thought. Remember tiger plushie being a permanent fixture in their relationship? What if, during Tiger's amnesia and them sleeping in different beds, Bill was cuddling Tiger Plushie because he misses cuddles with her, as much as he respects Tiger's wishes. As Tiger slowly recovers and trusts Bill enough to sleep in the same bed, she sees the plushie and goes, "Oh, what's this cutie???" and Bill smiles, ready to tell her all about it.

ohh baby my soff heart :*-)

I love the history of their tiger plushie a whole lot just because I think it's really sweet. And I think that plushie has been with them through a whole hell of a lot--Bill takes it with him on trips, sometimes. But it also gets mailed back and forth a lot, because Bill needs it but then tiger gets really down when he's gone so long so he mails it to her and it smells like him and she's so comforted and full of warm fuzzy feelings, but then Bill will get all down when he's on a new set a few weeks later and it's been two months since he's seen her so she'll mail it to HIM and it'll smell like her and maybe she even wraps a pair of her lacy panties around it, because tiger is a bit of a minx.

But then like, tiger got a big ole' head bonk. And Bill, Bill is just doing everything he can to be there for her, to try and heal--and while tiger definitely got the short end of the stick on that one, it's also hard on Bill because he's the one who remembers how things used to be. He's the one who remembers how close they were, the intimacy they shared. And he misses that--god, he misses it, but there's nothing he can do as she tries to remember. So instead, he gets comfort form that silly little tattered tiger plushie that he got her--the one that has been all over the world--and he snuggles that instead, keeps it tucked into his chest and wraps his big frame around the tiny thing as best he can.

And maybe that first night, that first night where she still doesn't remember but she knows that this is definitely a guy that she believes she loved--maybe she rolls over onto it, furrows her brows, and pulls it out from under her hip. She holds it up and god--the smile Bill gets on his face, it's all kindness and nostalgia, it's gentle and calm and turns his lips up ever so slightly. And tiger thinks yeah--this is a guy that she could love again, if ever she didn't get her memory back.

"What's this?" she asks, wiggling it a little and flicks one of its ears.

"It's a long story," he murmurs.

"I've got time, bud."

And he tells her. He tells her all of it. In the middle of his story, he hears her stomach rumble so he pauses--tucks the tiger into her chest and tells her he'll be right back. He comes back with a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, crusts cut off and cut into neat triangles--and then he takes the tiger from her, tucks it into the crook of his elbow, and continues to tell her all the places its been, all the times she has asked for it (when Granny died, whenever she's not feeling well), and all the times he has needed it.

#soft bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill

[greaterlandscapes]

My Dean Blunt Rotation aka High Fidelity Left A Bad Taste in My Mouth

For the past 2 to 3 months, my listening habits were teetering to an end; mostly via burnout by spontaneously listening to local artists daily and less likely of a musical discovery drought, whereas my interests of a certain artist or genre hasn't found its, sort of, "eureka", moment per se. I've been feeling less enthusiastic over the things i listen to since my friends have gradually lost their flare when it comes to discovering/exploring untapped parts of the music realm. Thus, in return, my enthusiasm not being reciprocated. It leaves an empty feeling from someone who has been yearning social interaction, may it be media being latched on the topic - it's a feeling that's been guilt-tripping me ever since I was stranded in the other end of the metro. I feel closed off, exposed to the crippling loneliness the lockdown has punished us: a defacto solitary confinement in a national level. Our act of staying online is also an act of staying alive outside.

To be fair though, it's a valid move to not boomerang compliments/gripes over an art you haven't consumed due to someone's autonomy. Your able body being to consume the art you wish to finish with free time is a luxury in of itself. The art is then failed to serve its purpose to reach its goal: You have squiggly lines heading straight to oblivion rather than swirling in the earlobes of a wandering cyber nomad. We, eventually, need to find something that could help us exit, rather than escape, from capital. We, in return, do not shut ourselves from the outside. Instead, we then tend to avoid the stress of protocols and outdoor fascism; Not avoid the indoor liberalism that is eating us alive and online. It's a capital punishment we never knew we signed up for ever since the onslaught of the virus and the state. Art for art's sake is nonexistent now, always has been, it seizes to ever since we went inside. Feeding off of a holographic meatloaf coming from a glowing screen. We have a real-life Karen acting as a nightlight in our rooms.

The COVID lockdown made us listen to music — both for better, for worse. For one, it made us pass most days. You could say the same for any sort of media: film, mixed media art, or whatever pre-Covid activity that sprung up during our time in isolation. For music, however, there was an uptick of new listeners that made others Wheel-of-Fortune the fuck out of their music discoveries in sites like RateYourMusic, Bandcamp, or even Sophie's Floorboard. We've continued to expand and became more open change of opinions and be less of a jackass towards someone else's opinions. On second thought, our opinions have been catalogued, leaving more notes than actual footprints of our previous listens. Our new discoveries made new bands and re-emerging bands, bands who faded to obscurity, crawl back in the surface with newfound interest from younger listeners (ie Panchiko, Jai Paul, and Dean Blunt) and this glowing, previously unseen and unexpected overwhelming support from fans of departed artists (ie SOPHIE, MF DOOM)

For the other, we've hogged gratuitous amounts of media, resulting into losing our primary direction as to how we want to consume our media based on the preconceived notions of what we want in our art. There is goodness in becoming directionless when you think about it, but there comes a cost to our identity as music listeners. Instead, we end up widening our tangents, falling in endless rabbit holes, having zero chances to emerge from the surface. In fact, i refuse to call it a "rabbit hole" instead i'd rather call it a "pipeline" of sorts — transitioning casual music fans into a full on, different, unique versions of themselves that would define them when laws and protocols have eased in the outside world. Our act of staying online has either made most of us break our character or enliven our past selves. The music pipeline is now more apparent, stretching the norms of what was once alienated by a silent majority, but now accepted as an acceptable form of expression. The more music we are exposed to has made casual listeners stranged out or react in ways that our personality have betrayed us or deemed not as acceptable to them. Still, not changing anything that was prominent pre-pandemic. Liberal cop behavior is stronger, now more dangerous than it ever was once perceived by the outside world.

HIGH FIDELITY? NO, THANK YOU.

Imagine a situation inside of a record, pre-pandemic of course, where you do not feel like lifting a record out from the shelf, instead, you window shop just for the sake of windowshopping. Capital and media made us think that going to record shops is a semi-productive activity. The age of discovery has died ever since High Fidelity romanticized and normalized the incelage of horny record diggers. Does this movie age well, yeah sure it does, for old 90s nerds at least. But did it translate well over in the past 20 or more years of events and tragedies that unfolded in pre-9/11 America? No it didn't. It was an age of free expression, only liberals would dream of whenever they take a sip of Guinness beer in their favorite dive bar.

Mind you, over a couple of months ago, it was my only chance in seeing why this movie was the talk of the town back when it was released. There's music, yeah, and attractive leading leadies, yeah, it has everything a 90s kid would love to salivate and drop their gonads over while they watch this movie. I obviously did not live to see the movie on opening day but i could imagine the scent that came out of that movie theater with attendees donning windbreakers and The Who shirts with popcorn dressing stains on their plastic cups. If there was a Filipino counterpart to this movie, i'd bet corporate champions Eraserheads and Rivermaya would soundtrack their music over and have either Tado or have Boy 2 Quizon, but i sense it to age like milk more than it could age like fine wine due to the senseless jokes one can execute in a Cubao or Cartimar record store.

John Cusack is obviously the incel in question here: a damaged, vengeful ex who constantly fails to live his partner's expectations and weaponizes his personality over the situations that has nothing to do with his interests. I spent the entire time being absolutely disgusted over the spineless responses of John Cusack's leading character. The movie then treads on flashbacks with John Cusack's failed relationships and what he could do to move on from each and one of them. If i could stand a SONA for 3 hours then I can't stand John Cusack being the dull entry point to incel, making more reasons why you should hate record store clerks who don't give an iota of shits to someone's inviting rapport. High Fidelity is opium for massive music circle jerks who can't take a single breathe of fresh air or a single quota of touching grass. There's more targeting weak and inferior guys and hot women who dump dumb overconfident dudebros more than the actual "music recs" in the entire movie. The more I think about this movie, the more I realize how our personality is in line towards Dick, the record store being unmercifully dunked on by the movie's two leading characters. He's an angel in the world of cynical bastards, witnessing both demons pitchforking record store customers in the ass while they're purchasing the latest Sonic Youth album.

I believe that Jack Black, the dark horse of High Fidelity, has a pleasing personality more than an irritating demeanor due to this behavior in the record store. In fact, outside of the record store, Jack Black doesn't seem to take the business is your pleasure act pretty seriously. Unlike John Cusack's character he brought his obsession over involving a record in an important memory/point of his life. There is so much stuff that has happened outside of the record store, so much for Rolling Stone and NME being the bible of music at the time, endlessly christening and shilling artists that believe to become the second coming of the Beatles. The music references here however are treated as fluff than it is a mechanism that would drive the senseless plot forward. If anything, there are events pointed out in the event that doesn't have anything to do with the life of the characters.

If anything, this movie did a great job at capturing the feeling of music bros being dumped on the wayside by a mature set of characters and how their current conditions aren't perfumed by the studios' liking of having to Cinderella story the shit out of a bunch of normal record store owners. The reality is in the reaction of one's social capital being invaded and we're here to witness how those reactions panned out in 2021. This is a villainous depiction of music nerds being the salt of the earth, the bane of all media discussion, still reflective of the insufferable salt of cyberspace found in music forums like 4chan and RYM. High Fidelity is a pipeline of 90s musicology, a dreaded fever dream of an owner waiting for the decade to end, trends ossifying and re-emerged by the hands of nostalgia-savvy individuals. It was, at its time, every music-movie nerd's excuse equivalent of Scott Pilgrim VS. The World. There are memories worth remembering and cherishing, and this movie isn't one of them.

DEAN BLUNT, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

In the past two weeks I've been fancying myself into sitting down and listening to different projects from the ever elusive, UK-based sound artist Dean Blunt. The first time i chanced upon his music wasn't too long ago - albeit a recent one in the time of COVID - was when I randomly stumbled upon his records at a Spotify recommendations section under John Maus (yeah lol i know the implications whenever his name is mentioned) - but then i was enamored by his online presence so quickly I put everything down and dedicated an hour or two researching about this man's music.

Other than the fact that his album "The Redeemer" wasn't the best record to start off in journeying through his discography: ending up disgusted and borderline bored even and I was more likely to lambast this record's aimless, pretentious art-pop inflections. By the end of the day, it was a preference long solidified by his undying fanbase. According to his hardcore fans, the music isn't really music, evaluating it as a free form of sound art, rather than sticking to a structured and conventional cues; the genre is nullified by most analysts of the arts. The growing interest of the general public towards Dean Blunt's pranks and antics have long appealed to my tastes as a chaotic neutral individual. Pranks that are well executed to piss off UK gallery connoisseurs and entertain ironic attendees who'd shit on the art piece rather than participate in it.

More of the resources I've found about Dean Blunt online: numerous aliases and collaborations that lasted around almost 2 decades. The most notable of all them, at least for my money, are either Hype Williams, a duo consisting of Dean and frequent collaborator Inga Copeland, and Babyfather, an art performance parodizing the pirate radio culture in the UK. I have not delved enough in Blunt's body of work to evaluate everything and what i could synthesize from it. For now, I enjoyed it as a form of entertainment. Well, color me impressed because Dean Blunt isn't clowning around, he, in fact, makes blissful and transcendental music from left to right.

Dean Blunt was the only few artists that made me want to binge on their discography. His movements in his music has attracted this pesky listener who thinks that being mysterious is a plus. I mean, look at me who thinks The Paul Institute, Panchiko, and Burial are the greatest artists that have walked the face of the earth.

The most I've enjoyed from Dean Blunt's discography are his mixtapes and collaborations: preferably his Soul Fire and ZUSHI, both of which were packaged as B-sides or supplemental releases rather than major releases such as the Babyfather project or the Black Metal releases. His knack for blurring the lines between genres still fascinate me as of this writing, and it continues to amaze me how he doesn't seize to compromise his art, he's here to prove a point and it sells quite well despite the lack of direction in his music. Blunt's music has more aggressive and hazy texture than the hollow, wide, soulless structure of art-pop/hypnagogic pop released today. He creates terrains from the rubble of his country's current shortcomings. The music overlaps the actual intentions with abstract concepts, becoming deconstructed down the line. In Babyfather, noise music coincides with Blunt's amateurish rapping. In Black Metal, Blunt isolates himself along with the assisted skeletal guitar playing. Both projects throwing all tropes in a vaccum alongside Blunt, who he himself would sought to become a personification of a musical void.

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(Excerpt from the Babyfather album review in TinyMixtapes)

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Dean Blunt is an entity that wishes to become one person, but no, this isn't a figure in a specific art form; this isn't Banksy, this isn't Bob Ong, this is made by one person, clearly it is if you listen closely, and it's been entrancing me ever since his presence was felt on the horizons of the internet. Dean Blunt, what the actual fuck.

#dean blunt #high fidelity #music #film #music review #2021 #hype williams #Youtube