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ericleo108 · 2 years

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Cosmic Luve Oct 2022 - Folklore

Prerequisites to this Taylor Swift Cosmic Luve Posts:

Sentientism 2022

The Chalice Mixtape Post

Cosmic Luve Aug 2021: Taylor Swift Renegade Response Track

Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary

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Intro

Picking up where we left off, I’m getting friend vibes from Taylor. To bring you up to speed I have a theory the planet is conscious and communicates through telepathy. I talk about how this could be possible in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” which tells the story and evidence of how I came to the conclusion that the planet Earth is conscious and how she communicates. However, I still maintain and accept that it could just be a Verisimilitude allure to the theory. Sentientism is not in the book and is the belief that the planet has always been molding evolution like a God.

I don’t think these individuals and celebrities are intentionally making their art, media, or semantics about me. I think they are being used as a vessel by Gaia. Basically how it would work is Gaia would infiltrate your mind during trance. Like for Taylor it’s stream of consciousness and fiction and (as you will read) for Stamets it was a dream. Then she would give them ideas. The result is a song that sounds like it’s about me because it was influenced by Gaia who directed it toward me. I believe if this is happening to me, it is probably happening to others, but this is my story and my relationship with Gaia.

This post is about how Taylor’s Folklore album is about me from Gaia. I have a long history of thinking Taylor is speaking to me in her music. We have the Taylor Swift response song and post as an example. Taylor is being used as a vessel by Gaia. My argument would be by writing songs about her life Taylor is channeling Gaia and Gaia is using Taylor’s words and influence in conjunction with her (Gaia’s) telepathy to influence individuals.

Catching Up

As an update from last months CosmicLuve.com Sept 2022 - Hope about Emma Watson, I’m writing this because I finally got Disney Plus and watched Little Big Farm (which I thought related to Emma) and the Folklore documentary on October 18th. Before that I didn’t have enough material or coincidences to make a post. I was gonna wait a day, but I’m publishing this on the 31st to make it October’s entry. Happy Halloween! I did it now because I expect I’ll have another post for Selena’s documentary and Emma’s Pickle Ball coming out in November.

The only thing I have found I would add to Septembers Hope post was that Emma’s Prada perfume guide was 1:08 which I simply made a tweet about. I pointed out that Emma is following Sentientism, specifically worshiping Gaia (the Earth) through action and behavior. Emma is focused on Part Two of Knhoeing, which is sustainability.

In other music related news. I love Russ and his song “3:15 Breath” which I rewrote with lyrics about school shootings called “Bleed.” I’m have Young Heat remake the beat and I’m going to publish an original version early 2023. I want to collaborate with Russ and make an even better version. All this inspired me to make a homage track to Russ called “Russ in My Mind.” It took a couple month but Russ’s new song “Bet” could be interpreted (through cosmic luve) as a response to my track. You can see my perspective as an example from the Cosmic Luve July 2022 - Smoke Blunts Response Treatise.

Building off Knhoeing which is the science and educaiton of the planet and atmosphere’s consciousness, I watched Paul stamets on Joe Rogan. To Update the Blue post, Fungi could be Gaia’s brain. Paul figured out mushrooms had anti microbial properties from a waking dream. I wanna fill myself with as much knowledge as possible about a wide arrange of sciences just so I can have the possibility of grasping the natural world and her wonder while trying to synthesis a better solution to problems.

Taylor & Gaia

In my theory, and from my perspective, I see Taylor’s music as coming from Gaia. But I am an artist with a small but significant fingerprint and can’t help but think that Taylor knows about me and is saying these things while intentionally throwing it off as to not be caught. However, I think it’s much more likely that Taylor uses commonality and relatability in her lyrics so much that they happen to match up with my perspective. I guess only time will tell.

Unlike Folklore, which is what this post is about and why I think it’s to me from Gaia, I don’t think the album Midnights is about me with the exception of Sweet Nothing . “Sweet Nothing” sounds similar to “I Spy” by Kyle. It seems like it’s Gaia saying (like the beginning of I spy starts) that look around, life is good. It’s also from the perspective of Taylor that I never significantly respond to her music and all I wanted was “sweet nothing.” It’s worth mentioning that Swift’s “Lover” album came out on August 23rd, a day before my birthday.

Folklore Lead Up

In this folklore discussion I focused on strong discernible similarities between my work and the album. I want to show you my train of thought and point out the most poignant similarities. How well it came together and how easy it was to interpret this album from Gaia’s perspective given my theory is surreal. Swift said it was stream of consciousness and based off fictions. She basically let her mind go into semantics which is what I argue access is Gaia through behaviors like trance, or drugs.

It is important to the story to understand I went through a psychotic break in 2017 after making ‘The Chalice Mixtape.’ When I was in the throes of my schizophrenia I went off on Taylor. I would put on an act as characters that were sometimes directed toward her that were probably very disturbing. Folklore is about the retrospect outcome of that experience from Gaia’s perspective through Taylor.

In 2018 I wrote two treaties including the “Look What You Made Me Do” and “Reputation” treatises where I explained how her art was semantics directed toward me, which has since been deleted. Schizophrenia is a cognitive disorder so I thought the messages were coming from her internally.

I technically have schizoaffective disorder which is bipolar schizophrenia. So disociative and delusional thoughts with emotional outbursts. I was mad at Taylor for what felt like controlling me. Now that I’m on my medication and had years to think I believe it’s Gaia using Taylor as a vessle. I thought Taylor was doing this to “control my eugenics.” In retrospect this became inductive reasoning because I now think Gaia tries to control everyone’s eugenics and helps mold evolution and she’s like our stuart.

The 1

Now that you have the concept of Taylor’s role in Sentientism I’m going to explain my thoughts on each track and why I think it relates. First off the whole album has an Earthy, forestry image feel. I’m not really willing to be exploited for a record deal. So I’ll probably never be big. I’d rather be rich and anonymous that famous and broke. So I could of been the one. Back when I first got into music I thought I was “the one,” which probably was being talked about at the time because that’s what the name “Kayne” means. And schizophrenics have delusions of grandeur. I have a song were i reference myself as “the one” called “R Money.” Basically, I could of been “the one” but I never pursued my dream to that level due to mental illness and my experience with Gaia.

This brings me to the line “We were something don’t you think so.” I talk about how a computer screen opened up in my mind in my book; which brings nuance to the line “you know the greatest films of all time were never made.” As a message from Gaia, this is the start of the recount of that experience. This will come full circle by the end of the album and my experience with the line “Diggin up the grave another time.”

The “would of been the one” is a double meaning on relationships. I haven’t dated since 2012. “It's another day waking up alone.” I’ve been loving my cosmic luves for a decade, known publicly since 2017 (when I released The Chalice Mixtape). So it’s kinda a very real message from Taylor to me about how “it would of been fun” if I would of been the one.

“I have this dream you're doing cool shit. Having adventures on your own. You meet some woman on the internet and take her home.” These lyrics kinda describe the perspective, situation, and cosmic luve where I meet a girl from my internet blog and take her home after having an adventure.

Like the bridge asks, the one thing that could be different that would make everything different, would be if I hadn’t survived my 2018 episode, which is what the album seems to be about, and will come full circle by the end of the post. Taylor says the lyrics “I’m doing good I’m on some new shit, I’m saying yes instead of no” applies to the situation “where you’re updating a former lover on what your life is like now and trying to be positive about it.” That’s exactly what this album review feels like in retrospect from my perspective.

Cardigan

The music video is mossy, earthy, with a gritty feel like Gaia. The first, second, and third verses sounds like Gaia talking to me about my episodes with schizophrenia and how we came to know each other. The combination of these things is why I think the message is from Gaia and Taylor is just being used as a vessel.

Taylor sounds like she is responding to my track “Listen Alice” with the lyrics ‘And when I felt like I was an old cardigan Under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite.” I put out the Chalice mixtape in 2017 when Taylor was being used as a lightning rod for slut shaming. The mixtape was a fantasy about how I met Marcus Lemonis who partnered with me to work with Taylor Swift where I met Emma Watson. In the first track of the mixtape I say “Listen Alice, always knew you were the baddest, some body please give this queen her Chalice.” So it’s like the lyric is a response saying “when no body wanted me, you made me feel special.” I wish that was true.

What makes this association even stronger are the lyrics that come right after from verse 2. “A friend to all is a friend to none” is a Aristotle quote. This could be taken as directed toward me because in one of my video journals I said I would try to contact Scooter Braun. I have since permanently rescinded that offer. But this is how I reference people in my music. I say a line associated with them, and then respond. Which Taylor’s next line is “chase two girls, loose the one” which is basically what “The Chalice Mixtape” is about.

The Last Great American Dynasty

This sounds like Gaia is talking about Rebekah Harkness or Betty. If you look at the overall appeal of the album, it’s kind of seems like a narration from Gaia on her perspective and how she has to influence.

Exile

This is one of those songs that could very well be about another person that Gaia is trying to communicate with. This could also be about the future, but it’s less likely with the lyrical content. I don’t know if I’m suppose to make anything of this song with the lyrics “you never gave a warning sign.”

My Tears Ricochet

Hearing Taylor talk about this song and how it’s about knowing someone and then them turning on you, it really reminds me of Gaia’s perspective. I have come to the conclusion that Gaia would have to see humans as dogs, and if she would institute punishment it would be like a human punishing a dog, more or less. Do murderous villians pray to God to? You would have to think, if the planet is conscious, can influence through telepathy, how would she respond to the prayers of a criminal mad man. I was angry in my schizophrenia epside, and this song is kinda like Gaia saying, from Taylor’s perspective, “what if you don’t deserve my help?” Look at how my tears ricochet.

Mirrorball

When I take a step back and look at this in reference to Gaia and the Earth, This song is about the sun. It’s a bright ball that reflects light in the center of the “dance floor.”

Seven

Taylor says this song is about how, for example, watching a child throw a tantrum in a grocery store and wonder “I feel you, when did I stop doing that when I’m upset?” So it’s “please picture me before I learned civility.

To me this is another song about my schizophrenic episodes. I was schizophrenic from onset until I consistently got on my medication from 2012 to 2019. I was mentally ill for 7 years.

August

August is my birthday month. Taylor describes in the folklore documentary how “there’s some idea that there is some villain girl that takes your man in any situation, is actually a total myth because that’s not the case at all, everyone has feelings and wants to be loved.” I think this song gives a glimps of cosmic luve using Taylor and my situation as an example.

This song has the sentiments of a real communication. It’s almost as if Taylor was fishing for more music from me but at the time I wasn’t releasing every month yet. I put out “The Chalice Mixtape” in 2017 when Taylor put out Reputation, then I made a bunch of posts about “Look What You Made Me Do” and the “Reputation” album in 2018 that have been deleted.

Then Taylor releases her album “Lover” on August 23rd 2019. This song seems like a response to how she did that, basically responded in her music and I basically did nothing (which is what I said “sweet nothing” could be about). It’s worth mentioning I always though “You need to calm down” was a message to me from Taylor (and Gaia) to take my medication. It’s also worth mentioning I have a song coming out where I bite Taylor’s style, and is about Taylor, called “Cosmic Luve Brownies” and will drop early next year.

This is me Trying

That sentiment from the last track is consistent with the title of this song. Maybe this is Taylor saying “I responded in August, this is me trying.” Taylor also seems to be recognizing my mental condition from this time as she talks about in the folklore documentary.

“I’ve been thinking about addiction and I’ve been thinking about people who are either suffering through mental illness or addiction, they have an everyday struggle, no one pats them on the back, but everyday they are fighting… but there are so many days no one gives them credit for that” Jack chimes in and says “it’s like doing your best and it’s not good enough.” “Not driving off the cliff is an act of trying” hits home especially in light of the end of this post.

Illicit Affairs

In the folklore documentary Taylor talks about how the album is not autobiographical or like something you read in a tabloid. Taylor clearly wrote this song about buying and getting addicted to illicit street drugs. But Aagain, this approach is from Gaia’s perspective. From Gaia’s perspective this song is about being in someone’s mind and the chian reaction that influence has on people.

I often think about how hard it would be to be Gaia and try to communicate. The mentally ill and substance addicted tap into trance to be able to feel her, but they don’t know she exists or mistakes it for a fictional god. This means she probably only has a real connection to the mentally unstable, which she would be trying to help. So there not mentally afflicted, it seems like Gaia would want it to be a one way communication. If you can see that then she “showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else.”

Invisible String

Taylor said she wanted to make the song about Every step you take brings you to your fate guided by this invisible string. My argument would be, what if that invisible string is Gaia? What if Earth’s magnetic field connects us all and the planet is conscious so it guides our cognition through telepetathy in order to influence our behavior. The whole point of cosmic luve is to realize every step you’ve made has lead you to this point.

This is one of the most direct instances of why I think folklore is referencing me via Gaia. When I was 16 I worded at Hungry Howies in Sturgis Michigan which had a TCBY (frozen yogurt) attached. Taylors lyrics pulled me in. “Teal was the color of your shirt When you were sixteen at the yogurt shop You used to work at to make a little money.” The only difference is that the shirts were burgundy like Howies, not teal like TCBY. How would Taylor know that? It’s almost like the album references me and intentionally throws me off “the old dusty trail.”

The second verse also seems to reference a point in my life. “Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA you ate at my favorite spot for dinner.” As you can read in my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” I lived in Los Angeles for a year and the first California native place I was introduced to was In-N-Out by my friend Luis who bought me lunch. I was later also introduced to Del Taco by a coworker where I fell in love with their Chicken Tacos.

Mad Woman

From the perspective of Gaia this song seems to be exploring how this situation, of a one way communication and whose influence is conflated with fictitious gods, would drive anyone mad. I don’t know the extent of Gaia’s powers, and I don’t think she would have emotions, it would be more of a logical, parallel thinking consciousness, but as far as I can tell Gaia doesn’t like to be called names, at least that’s how she responds in my head. It makes me think, because no one knows where the planet got it’s name “Earth,” maybe she named herself and commands respect for her own sanity, just like parents teach and want respect from their children.

Epiphany

This song is about Taylor’s grandfather and the atrocities he experienced. Through the perspective of Gaia this gives a deeper example to “Mad Woman” because of the horrible things grandfather experienced he couldn’t even speak of, Gaia is in your mind and knows what you are thinking. If you think of it, in this sense, you’re not alone. The planet witnessed the atrocities, and knows your mental anguish, thoughts, and how it affected you.

In this way, and especially through other vessels Gaia can consol you. It seems the song is called “epiphany” because Gaia communicates through epiphanies. I call what she does “telepathic randonauting” and “points of realization.” She works in your mind in conjunction with the environment for you to have a point of realization, or epiphany. And this is just a reminder she’s with you through everything, the best, and worst times.

I think the realization of Gaia’s conscious influence comes full circle when Taylor is describing this track. She talks about the song and feels like “how did this slide into place? How did this come together?” Taylor is almost literally describing how her environment (i.e. Gaia) affected he life where it felt like everything was crumbling and then after an epiphany she worked on music and everything felt like it was fitting into place. The following paragraph by Taylor from the Folklore documentary really strengthens my argument”

“I often feel with this album, there have been times in my life when things have fallen apart so methodically and I couldn’t control how things were going wrong and nothing I did stopped it. And I felt I had been pushed out of a plane and scratching at the air on the way down. And I felt the universe is just doing it’s thing, it’s just dismantling my life. And this is a weird situation where ever since I started making music with you I’ve felt like that was the universe falling into place perfectly, and theres nothing I could do. One of those weird things that makes you think about life a lot.”

Betty

I think this song ties in the whole album and Gaia’s concept. Taylor says “I love this trilogy, the trinity of Betty, August, and Cardigan.” In my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” I argue the planet, atmosphere, and sun are conscious. Betty brings this trio in where The characters like Betty, James, & unnamed; and Betty, August, and Cardigan, represent Gaia, the sun, and blue; or the sun, Earth and moon representing 108.

Peace

From Gaia’s perspective this song is about Global Warming. What if I (Gaia) can’t stop global warming, it’s up to you (humans), and I can never give you peace because I can’t solve your problem. You (Humans) have to do it. “But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm If your cascade, ocean wave blues come” could be interpreted as a reference to forest fires and ocean acidification in this context.

Hoax

From Gaia’s perspective it seem like Hoax is about realizing and appreciating Blue. As I talk about in my book, the atmosphere is alive and we are posioning it. What if we are killing Blue? What if what makes the atmosphere liveable is being destroyed by humans? Gaia wouldn’t be feeling sorry for humans that killed themselves by their own hand, but rather feel sorry for her conscious atmosphere that makes all life on the planet’s surface possible.

This is where my role in Gaia’s life comes into play. Gaia is basically telling me “no other shade of blue then you,” mean no other kind of life than you, “no other sadness in the world will do” means that our relationship is tumultuous because although humans could be responsible for the destruction of all life on Earth through global warming, there are good people like you fighting to fix it, and we need you.

The Lakes

The album ends on a track that seems personal. Not because it seems like it’s from Taylor to me, but because it seems like it’s from Gaia. It would have to be, because I have never told anyone this before. From Gaia’s perspective the album is about cosmic luve and how I, and others fit into their existence. In order to realize and conceptualize their influence I went through a schizophrenic episode.

You can read about the 2018 episode extensively in my book “108 The Story of Discoering Earth’s Consciousness” but I had a visual hallucination where a computer screen opened in my mind. It was intense and I wen through a range of emotions. One thing I didn’t want to put in the book was how I thought about committing suicide. I remember thinking about taking enough sleeping pills so I wouldn’t wake up, so it would kill me in my sleep. I was always on an empty stomach, and I have since learned that some sleeping medications on an empty stomach give me cringy anxiety.

I was in a very different mind state at the time where I was much more paranoid and I though the government was the reason for all the coincidences that I talk about now. Back then I couldn’t organize my thoughts, conceptualize what I was experiencing, or had a blog to make a historic reference. It made me think cosmic luve was the government maliciously masquerading hate as love.

One of the things that made me not take a bunch of pills, besides the cringe, was South Park. They made an episode about how Cartmen was faining suicide for attention and the song cartmam sang in the show was “ Eric we don’t want you to die Eric give life a try.”

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For sure, they were making fun of Logic’s suicide prevention number song. But in retrospect, it’s like Gaia saw my distress and infiltrated minds to make popular media that would reach me and help make the decision to not hurt myself. It seems Gaia also predicted the future because as the subject of the episode enunciates, this goes even deeper with distracted driving.

Around this same time I almost got in an accident from distracted driving. It was a snowy winter day and I met my mom every other Sunday for breakfast. Well I was running late and took a different way to save time. The roads hadent been plowed and I forgot their was a jog in the road. Right as I think I’m lost I ask my gps to directions verbally and it comes back with “captain crunch” which immediately upon hearing I slammed on my breaks.

I turned sideways, missed a tree as I went off road and squeezed between two trees as I accelerated to get back on the road after the jog. Not only I couldn’t believe I wasn’t injured, but I got back on the road. I got out and took pictures. I still think to this day Blue or a higher power saved my life by making me think to “crunch” The brakes immediately.

That’s why the lakes is about me. Michigan is the land of lakes. It’s surreal. In retrospect I think South Park really helped my subconscious and kept me from attempting suicide. It’s worth mentioning I heard Andy Grammer’s “You Saved My Life” for the first time on October 25. I talk about how South Park saved my life for the first time in my October 23rd Sunday live.

Thank You for reading.

#hip hop #rap #rapper #hiphop artist #music #taylor swift #mixtape #gaia #folklore

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rarepears · 2 years

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Svsss au where most of OG Binghe's mistreatment as a child was actually false memories planned by Meng Mo to help his disciple become EVIL. The novel treats it at reality because it's from Binghe's point of view.

This could lead to either SY being very confused by the state of the peak, cause wasn't poor LB supposed to be abused? Street being told the truth by the system, he had to figure out how to keep Meng Mo away from LB's memories by finding another way for LB to learn demonic cultivation, since he'll need it for the Abyss.

Alternatively OG Binghe time travels to the past, and is super confused why nothing is like he remembers. He would definitely murder Meng Mo the second he reappeared.

Fun fact: Meng Mo doesn't even need to plant false memories to get Binghe to misremember things. The brain actually remembers the last time you recalled that memory and can "edit". The brain is also very good at "filling in the blanks" so to speak. So Meng Mo just needs to say a few very leading sentences to get Luo Binghe to add some extra things into his memory of past events to "amplify" the mistreatment.

Don't believe me that memory is so easy to rewrite? Check this out:

Chan’s study is the latest to show how easy it is to disrupt our memories, and supplant what we think we know with misinformation. In this case, he and colleague Jessica LaPaglia from Iowa State University showed volunteers the pilot episode of 24 and then selectively rewrote some of their memories of the show’s events. For example, some of the volunteers came to believe that an assassin (Mandy!) knocked out a flight attendant with a stun gun, when she actually used a hypodermic syringe.

It wasn’t just a simple matter of saying Mandy used a stun gun. That wouldn’t have worked. Instead, Chan and LaPaglia fed their volunteers with false information immediately after they had actively remembered what they had seen. Then, and only then, did the new memories overwrite their old ones.

And yes, it's a series issue with the judicial system. There's a lot of concern that police interrogation/questioning lead to false witness testimonies from false memories. Check out this other article about it. I also recommend that if you are a college student or a soon to be college student that you take an intro to psychology course. It's absolutely fascinating to learn how unreliable memory is.

Another thing that also added to Luo Binghe's misconception that he's being mistreated is that Luo Binghe is very... self centered(?) in what he notices. He notices what is happening to him. He's busy in his teenage angsty, all stuck up in his own head, to notice what is going on with other people when it's not directly related to himself.

He fails to notice the other disciples also getting disciplined by Shen Qingqiu. He fails to notice that the other peaks employ the same punishments that Shen Qingqiu uses (or even worse punishments).

Teenagers like to think they are special and always singled out. They are oh so terribly self conscious about that pimple on their nose and worry how everyone will see it, notice it, and laugh about it when in truth, most people are caught up in their own problems. Remember that tumblr post about someone who took their snake through public transport and no one realized the bag was actually a long noodle boi?

So basically this is a long winded post to say, with the way that human brains are wired, that Meng Mo wouldn't have to do much to get Binghe to think he's getting singled out and mistreated. He pushed Binghe to come to such a conclusion with very little effort and Binghe ends up filling in the blanks himself because teenagers have yet to understand that the world doesn't revolve around them and they are just another pawn on the board.

#oops this turned into #meta #svsss ideas #svsss #svsss au #scumbag self saving system #luo binghe #meng mo #Luo Binghe's questionable memory au

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

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Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head („It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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delfi-nium · 4 years

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had a wonderfully productive day so far!

did some closet reorganizing in preparation for sunday’s ikea trip

went to the hardware store for charcoal (they were out) and the grocery store for groceries, quite obviously, and beer (we’re having friends over for a physically-distanced dinner tonight and i wanted to be prepared, beverage-wise)

made myself a cinnamon cashew iced coffee

finished my chapters 1 through 3, checked all the footnotes and references, added my images and rewrote chap.3′s conclusion (which i had somehow never completed?)

finished editing chap.4′s intro, part 4.1.1 and 4.1.2 (still have 4.1.3, all of 4.2 and 4.3 as well as the conclusion)

got really excited bc i had promised to send chapters 2 through 4 to my advisor mid july and chapter 1 at the end of the month, but it very much seems like i’ll be able to send all 4 way before the end of july!

vacuumed, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, reorganized the fridge

checked in on all the plants (our spider plant is going through a rough patch and needs a bit of extra attention)

did a little home decor shopping - still on the hunt for the perfect duo of prints for our bedroom wall... we’re looking for abstract art that’s not too colourful and created by a local artist, which apparently is not an easy task!

prepped tonight’s dinner! we’re having spicy soy tofu, tahini rice noodles and a cucumber ginger salad. ~tasty~

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aiph-daicerandomstuff · 5 years

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Da-iCE ARTICLE: [mu-mo Station] Da-iCE “Kumo o nuketa aozora” Release Special Feature [1/6] - “Even common words can be unique if combined accordingly” (11/19/18) | CGM

With implied and literal translation. PM me for mistakes/errors. Please put proper credits if you use.

Da-iCE “Kumo o nuketa aozora” Release Special Feature [1/6] - “Even common words can be unique if combined accordingly ”

Da-iCE “Kumo o nuketa aozora” Interview [pt.1]

Suitable to adorn the last of Da-iCE’s 5th anniversary, the warm mid-ballad “Kumo o nuketa aozora” will be released on November 21, 2018 (Wednesday). We thoroughly covered this work that was originally created under strong aspiration, “With our own words, we want to send a message to everyone who listens”! This is an interesting 6-part short series, in total.

--- The present piece “Kumo o nuketa aozora” is created under what theme?

Sota: When it was time to release the single, we discussed with everyone and we arrived at a certain concept. We wanted to release such songs that can be played in weddings. And so, we did this song.

--- The lyrics of the single title track were written for the first time by the 3 members, Sota-kun, Taiki-kun, and Yudai-kun, right?

Sota: It was decided already that the song would be completed through the lyrics I’ve written, but on the way, they [the staff] said that I needed it to brush it up. And since I have no much time left when it was decided, I thought that I won’t be able to do it alone, and so I asked for Taiki-kun’s help. Taiki-kun brushed up the lyrics I gave him, and then, Yudai-kun entered. Together as three, we rewrote the lyrics from the top. The theme of the wedding song that I thought was “Blue sky through [behind] the clouds”. I decided it to be the title, itself, and started writing from there. When I first heard the song [the melody], I already thought that it was a ballad with a very positive bright tone, and so I thought, as much as possible, I wanted to make the lyrics positive as well.

--- What parts have changed when Taiki-san and Yudai-san joined?

Sota: I talked to them first [and foremost] that I didn’t want to change the concept of the verse 3, but when Yudai-kun explained his point of changing the verse 3, I took it and advanced from there since. Actually, the lyrics have changed, but I think it’s good because we were able to change it to a more meaningful one. I should not stop from thinking about the parts I don’t want to change, right? Although I already thought that “there’s no better idea that will come up this time”, as we went on to our discussion, better lyrics were coming up, and that led me to the conclusion that my fixed concept wasn’t that meaningful enough. There, I felt that it was better to keep on addressing the problem if there was any.

--- By the way, what are those words in verse 3 [line 3 of verse 3]?

Sota: The line is now “Shadowed heart, illuminating light” [light illuminating the shadowed heart] [Kageru kokoro, terasuhikari] but it was “Shadowed heart, a person that is close” [a close person with a shadowed heart] [Kageru kokoro, yorisou hito] before. But a “shadowed heart” has a little negative [minus] image. Also, it was a little bit hard to understand who it was singing to. The “person that is close” can be yourself or your opponent or another person. And so, we thought that if we turn those words to a more positive ones such as “illuminating light”, which can be applied to anything in the song, the negative image could be lessened. Also, it could be heard more as “positive”.

--- What are the others’ thoughts about this song?

Yudai: This time, I got the chance to see the lyrics made by different writers who joined in the competition. It was very interesting. There were many phrases such as “Woken Up”, “Morning” and “Curtain”. On melody A, there was this line “Your sleepy talks [usually nonsense] after waking up” [Megasametara, kimi no negoto]. Right there, it had a solid direction already. I think the reason why such words came out, it was because the perspective of the song’s melody and interpreter’s had aligned in agreement. Just like how it went to Sota, I also got inspired by the words “curtain” and “morning”, and so I think that part is strong. There, the choreography also linked [matched], and so this phrase, I think, is also the most dramatic part of this song…

Taiki: For me, the theme that Sota had brought up at the beginning was very interesting. “Blue sky” and “clouds” are overly used words, but “Blue sky through [behind] the clouds” as a group – I think no one has ever used it yet. They are common words, yes, but they could also become unique if you would combine them accordingly.

Hayate: As soon as I heard the song, I imagined people crying with a smile on their faces as we perform it LIVE. Tears of happiness that is. Also I think, I would also cry while dancing to it. I like the intro very much.

Toru: Personally, when I first heard the melody, I felt great sadness and sorrow, but when the lyrics came in, the song became mild. It turned out to be gentle and bright. Even the choreography, itself, has deep and intense moves, making someone move to tears even by only watching the dance. I think it has become a dance, showing all the strengths of marriage and resolving the problem as a man determinedly.

--- So, what are your inner thoughts about having the last single installment for your 5th anniversary then?

Sota: When we were deciding about the theme, because it’s the last single for our 5th anniversary, the idea of releasing a Da-iCE “warm ballad that’s not heartbreaking”, which was frequently requested by fans, came out. Also, recently, I haven’t been singing Da-iCE’s so-called “heartbreaking ballads” and so, that kind of proposal came out. Moreover, since it seems like there had been no song with a title “Blue sky through [behind] the clouds” yet, I thought that it would be nice to write it. And since it’s the last of our 5th anniversary, we wanted to have a bright ending. Instinctively, I was like “go work on the 5th anniversary [single], since it’s indeed your 5th anniversary.” With that in mind, I wrote the lyrics.

--- The second song “Refrain” is a different ballad piece as compared to the title song, what was your thoughts when you first listened to it?

Yudai: I thought that it was really a good song. A sad and painful song it is, although I thought as well that it’s like those Da-iCE songs in the past with dramatic feelings on critical moments (laughs).

Sota: This song is actually a song that we recorded 4 years ago. It was from the same writer of the song “REASON”. Although the release date of it was not yet decided before, we ended up recording it until the summer of 2014, then left it there, thinking that we would release it someday. That’s why, in there, you would recognize some vibes from 4 years ago and so…

--- Haven’t your voice changed after all those years? Was there a particular problem came out from that?

Yudai: Well, I think the basics, such as the habit and the way of singing, haven’t changed. Although I think also that there’s still a subtle difference [nuance], which is a bit younger compared to now. The voice itself…

Sota: …sounds smoother now.

Yudai: Yes, I have the same opinion as that. But, of course, I can’t deny myself in the past. Now, if I listen to it, sometimes there are points I want to do now instead, as to what I did when I was singing it before. But, the works in those days are the works in those days. It’s just that, the right timing came for that song [Refrain] to be released this time.

--- Also included in this work is an acoustic version of “Kono kyoku no sei” that was released on 2015. Can you tell us why and how did you rearrange this piece?

Sota: Right from the start of this year, we’ve been attempting to sing our past songs in acoustic version or even in bossa version. This time, we chose “Kono kyoku no sei” which seems so popular to our fans. We decided to rearrange it because it’s a song that is being enjoyed LIVE [by everyone] mostly.

--- This acoustic version is sung by 5 members. What was it like singing altogether?

Sota: I really like singing together. It’s something new. Before, there was no instance where all members were singing and dancing together until this, and so, I like to try such things as well. Also, I like to hear the performers’ voices on the surface [upper]. Singing, together as five, a danceable song in full power is exciting, and I think that would give a wow effect or something.

--- We’ve been told that the two of you want to sing.

Hayate: If given the opportunity… (laughs). I always think… looking at the 2 vocals, I think it’s hard to sing while dancing, I don’t feel like I can do it (laughs).

Toru: “Kono kyoku no sei” was very fun to record. ‘Will sing if there’s a demand for it (laughs). Since it’s something for those who listen up to the last [song], yes, I want to respond if there’s a demand for it (laughs).

--- So… Speaking of your 5th anniversary, can you tell us what was your turning point, looking back over the past five years?

Sota: At the time of our major debut, I think the catchphrase “Face value 75” was a turning point (laughs). It seemed nice walking around and be called as that. I don’t want to deny that I felt like it, but I was very surprised at that time. At the time of our indies, as much as possible, we didn’t release our visuals, and we didn’t make anything like putting our faces and photos on jackets and other goods. We wanted the people to see us for real. We wanted to be known through our music and dance and not only through our appearance. But, when our major debut came, surprised by the change, I didn’t feel like showing my face. I was very surprised myself. I’m not sure if that was considered as a turning point but for me it was a turning point.

Yudai: At that time, I felt like I really don’t want to go outside. I hid my face and just started walking (laughs).

Hayate: That was surprising thing indeed. I didn’t expect that we would be selling so (laughs).

Sota: Yes, yes, when they show us the media materials before our debut, there was the phrase “Face value 75” written in small letters. When we asked, “What is this for?” They told us, “That’s okay. This won’t be visible anyway [will not take great attention].” But, on the day of our debut, when I looked through my cellphone in the dressing room, on the net news, there was an article written “Face value 75 Da-iCE debuts!” It was published something like that (laughs). It was also given as a cue on TV. Since, there were so many things, whether good or bad, that could be said to a group with “Face value 75”, it became our punchline. I observed around and concluded, that punchline was good.

Yudai: But, for us concerned [the one being called as “Face value 75”] … (laughs).

Sota: For us concerned, I guess we’ve been quite overly valued after all… I laughed though when we entered as “a group to compare with” (laughs).

Hayate: And so, at that time, I was always speechless whenever they say, “A group with a label of ‘Face value 75’…” (laughs).

Yudai: Other than that, there was also “All about romance, extreme masochist, tearjerker, heartbreaking song”.

All: (laughs out loud)

Sota: That’s “Mou ichido dake”, right?

Yudai: It’s a very good ballad.

Sota: When I was looking through the net news on the date of the release, the words “tearjerker heartbreaking song” came out. Actually, it was a catchphrase we didn’t expect to have. We didn’t imagine that phrase to be applied to that song. It was quite a nice ballad. It was truly surprising for us.

Hayate: The title was also different originally.

Sota: The title was really “to the last man”, but in order to sell and make the song more touching, we settled on making the title “Mou ichido dake [Just once more]”.

Taiki: It was time to put a lever on it.

--- Do you have any other comments?

Taiki: Anything else? I think that’s the best I have now (laughs).

--- That’s it? (laughs) Well then, can you tell us the things you want to do in the future?

Yudai: Because there had been no energetic songs for a while, I’d like to do a danceable song. Since there are lots of ballad songs in production now, which we have in stock, I want to go energetically all in even more.

Sota: Like “EVERYBODY”, “PARADIVE”, and “HUSH HUSH”, I think that is good since there are no recent loud songs that the audience can enjoy just by listening to it.

Taiki: Crazy songs you mean (laughs).

--- Da-iCE is currently on tour. Can you tell us what enthusiasm you have for the rest of your performances?

Yudai: We are already halfway through it. It’s happening so fast. There are basically other live shows during the tour. They even let us perform in school festivals this year. Since we are recording new songs, the time to delve into the music is long, I think. The delivery of the tour is also fulfilling. I am doing it while having fun. I want to run through from here at once.

Sota: Speaking of the tour, because we are trying new things this time, while adjusting to the “1 performance after the other” [back-to-back performances], I think the quality we are delivering is steadily improving every time we perform. And so, I am hoping for those who have seen the performance once to come again. We would be happy if you would go and see our improvement in a short period of time.

From: https://station.mu-mo.net/articles/AGkHp

Note: Woah! This is the longest interview I’ve translated so far. Please forgive me if there are errors.

#daice #da ice #da-ice #translation #interview #mu-mo #mu-mo station #kumo o nuketa aozora #super nice interview #please read #super long translation #article

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random2908 · 4 years

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Welp, I just spent 4 hours mostly rewriting my intern’s paper. I kept most (but not all) of his organizational structure on a paragraph level. But only about half the remaining text is in his color now.

He’s not a bad writer, he’s just young and doesn’t have a good feel for scope. He swung wildly between too much and too little detail, which meant just a whole lot of it needed to be rewritten on a sentence-by-sentence level.

I rewrote the abstract, conclusion, some of the figure captions, and the entire discussion on uncertainty completely from scratch. I wanted to rewrite the intro but mostly didn’t because I also wanted to go to bed at some point.

#you'll notice most of what I rewrote entirely--as opposed to on a sentence-by-sentence level #are sections that are primarily about scope #the figure captions were because he wasn't really familiar with how figure captions are usually written stylistically #and the uncertainty discussion was because that's like my thing right now #no one understands the uncertainty of this type of measurement the way I do #because I'm in the midst of writing a deep-dive theoretical paper on it #well and also no one understands the uncertainty like I do because I built all the hardware and wrote all the software

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lmh-tech-tutorials-blog · 7 years

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YouTube API Changes and GET User Information with v3 IDs

Anyone who has worked with any Google API knows how easy most things are for most purposes, but how difficult they can be to be worked-in to a different platform. I’m using this opportunity to take a look at YouTube’s v3 API which has had some recent changes, but requires a rewrite to most applications that use it, since it has made a lot of small lines of code require a complete rewrite, and some some schema, a few extra long functions.

Intro and "The Thing"

The recent change added a new way to access and recieve channel information. Before this change you just need the channel username, but after this change you can use the channel username or the channel ID. The main reason for adding this isn't quite clear to be, because both the username and ID are both unique to a channel, but an ID is infinitely harder to remember, because it is a 24 character randomized string with capital and lower-case lettering, plus integers.

The Issue

The first thing I did to try and wrap my head around this change is to try both the ID and username on https://youtube-collections.com/ and I wasn't surprised when it did not work. The main reason for this is because the GET request features 3 parts: "part", used for requesting a specific part of the result to be sent back to the user, "id", to specify username or (now) ID, and "apikey", for the API key.

The Punchline

This issue renders my website completely useless because it requires user information, completely provided by the user. The information is of unknown origin, and it was easy to guess that the user would input a username because the introduction of the ID, because it was the only thing to provide, just whether it was in URL form (just splitting the URL and finding the appropriate array part) or just a username.

The Inevitable Workaround

Now I have incorporated (hopefully) a standardized fix, which implements before any other in-line functions. What this function, we'll call it Butterfly(), does, is finds if the user's input was a username or ID. To do this it first requests the information like it usually does, using a snippet, an ID and the key, then it asks itself "Is the information I just recieved a whole set of arrays and objects, or was it nothing?". This works because YouTube's API doesn't return data if the input isn't accepted. So then the code assumes the requested information was in the form of an ID instead of a username, and requests the same information, but instead uses the request "part:'id', forusername:id, key:apikey". This should recieve a lot more information, and the information that we want to get, which is the actual username.

Conclusion

It doesn't really matter which order you put these in, but the main difference is that the snippet GET will request far less information, so do this one first to make less of an impact on the user's internet and your overall API token requests. To be clear this will only really work if you are parsing this username down a chain of functions. \For me it was easy to rewrite all the function because it is all very simple GETs, adding to arrays and localstorage.

This post was very longwinded and I rewrote it a few times, but I think is worth it to save some headache.

#youtubeAPI #api #javascript #html #website #internet #webdevelopment

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random2908 · 7 years

Text

Here’s a story about science/academia actually working the way it should.

Once upon a time, about a decade ago, I was a grad student. My lab partner (a few years my senior) and I had spent a solid two years trying to put together our sample-generating apparatus and get it to work, and having it not work, and having to disassemble it and change something and put it back together (a process which took months each time), and... Two years. Two years and we could finally generate samples to do experiments on. Two years, and I was now halfway through grad school, and he was almost done, and we hadn’t produced a result--hadn’t even produced a sample--in two years. In fact, I hadn’t produced anything yet up to this point, because assembling this thing had been my very first assignment when I joined this lab.

But, now we had samples! We quickly bought a piece of equipment to do experiments on them, and--

(Important digression)

The thing you have to understand about physics is that a lot of it is pretty well solved theoretically/mathematically. Or if it’s not, it at least can be if someone puts in the effort. If you’re an experimentalist, like me, all you have to do is ask a theorist to collaborate with you, or maybe you can even do it yourself, and you solve some equations (or write a program to solve some equations), crunch the math, and, there it is. You have your answer already, before you’ve even done the experiment. All you have to do now is check it experimentally to make sure you did the math right, and it can now go in the “known” column.

This leads to both a lot of hubris and a lot of intellectual laziness among physicists. It completely shorts out the scientific method, rendering it irrelevant. You don’t even need a hypothesis if you come in already certain of your answer. But if you come in certain of your answer and you get a different answer, there’s pressure to either massage your data until you have the “right” answer or to say your equipment must be broken and spend months or years trying to fix it. And usually your equipment is broken, or your experiment wasn’t done carefully, or occasionally the math wasn’t done carefully (or was too approximate)--usually that’s all the problem is, usually that’s the right approach.

So most of the time, physicists--particularly experimental physicists--don’t set out to discover something, they set out to demonstrate an already-described thing that just hasn’t been seen/done yet. Like glorified engineers--engineers who understand quantum mechanics and only half care about building something practical. They start out knowing what the answer will be, and then do everything they can to reach that answer.

(end digression)

--so we finally had samples to work with, and the piece of equipment we’d bought to do something with them, but we were somewhat limited in what we could do because we only had the one piece of equipment. Nonetheless, we came up with a whole bunch of potential thing and tried the first few of them out in turn. My lab partner, being senior to me, got to be first author on the first thing, and I got to be first author on the second.

The first thing was pretty prosaic, sort of “what happens if, oh I guess it kind of looks like this other completely different phenomenon that’s actually related.” But that second thing was, we set out to demonstrate a [scientific concept that hadn’t previously been demonstrated, that was pretty neat and related to some concepts that were currently trendy, but probably of very limited practicality].

We knew what the answer should look like, more or less--that is, what the sample should do under those conditions. We tried to do what we thought would be necessary to reach that answer. We got something that more or less looked like the answer we were looking for--that is, the sample appeared to do what we expected it to do if it were acting according to [scientific concept that hadn’t previously been demonstrated]. Yay, we demonstrated the [scientific concept that hadn’t previously been demonstrated], very exciting, time to publish!

So I wrote up the paper, and we submitted it to Physical Review Letters, which is the journal to get published in in physics. (We submitted my lab partner’s paper to PRL, too, which I suspected was a waste of time because it wasn’t exciting enough. Sure enough we were told it was good science but not that interesting and it was pushed down to PR[subdiscipline], which is respectable but not impressive. But that’s how it goes, you aim high so that when you miss you still hit something.) They reviewed it and sent back two reports.

Referee A said this was pretty cool! Here are some small errors and a long list of (mostly easy) questions you didn’t satisfactorily answer, and just fix those but this is pretty cool, definitely worthy of being published in PRL.

Referee B’s review was very short. It said we could not have done what we’d claimed to have done, because the technology does not exist to do it, and certainly that piece of equipment we’d bought would be insufficient. Although it would be really interesting if someone demonstrated [scientific concept that hadn’t previously been demonstrated], Referee B was pretty sure that other people had already tried and come up short because their equipment was lacking. And since our equipment was clearly also lacking, and so we’d not actually demonstrated anything, our paper was bunk and was not worth publishing.

So the editor wrote back that he couldn’t publish our paper. But the journal’s rules were in case of a tie you’re allowed to ask for a tie-breaker. Especially in this case where Referee A’s review was so glowing and long and helpful, and Referee B’s review was so perfunctory, we asked that Referee B be ignored and that we get a new referee instead. (We also fixed all the things Referee A wanted fixed.) So the journal provided us with a Referee C.

Referee C’s review was also short. It said that [scientific concept] was not a real concept, it was a misunderstanding by people who don’t understand theory/philosophy very well. Therefore the premise of our paper was ridiculous and we should not be published.

Well. There were previous theory papers talking about [scientific concept], and we’d talked to a number of colleagues about it, including at least two well-regarded theorists. So clearly Referee C’s opinion on the matter was not the scientific consensus, we wrote back to the editor. We asked for an appeal, and for the editor to weigh in.

The editor said they were unfamiliar with the details of [scientific concept], and being unfamiliar they found the statement “this isn’t a real thing, this is a theoretical misunderstanding” compelling. (Even though both Referee A and Referee B thought it was a real thing.) So, we were rejected completely and thrown out of Physical Review.

A couple weeks later, my lab partner found a theory paper that more or less simulated the experiment we’d done, but from a perspective that ignored the possibility of [scientific concept] coming into play, like, just didn’t even mention that whole family of concepts in the entire paper. Which seemed intellectually irresponsible to us, but, the theoretical results perfectly matched out experimental results. Even details like the nature of the almost-patterning of the noise in our results matched. When we thought we were demonstrating [scientific concept] we ignored as just being noise because [scientific concept] ought to have resulted in a noisy signal due to [concept]--that was how we knew we got it right. But this paper’s simulation-produced noise looked specifically like our noise.

So I rewrote the paper from scratch.

The previous paper had been:

1) Intro: we set out to demonstrate [scientific concept] 2) Methods: this is what you need to demonstrate [scientific concept] so this is what we did 3) Results: ooh pretty, it looks just like what you’d expect from a demonstration of [scientific concept] 4) Conclusion: we demonstrated [scientific concept], isn’t that cool?

Because that’s how physics papers are written. You know what you’re trying to do, and then you do it, and if you fail you keep trying until you get it right, and then you’ve done it, and you publish.

But my new paper was:

1) Intro: [sample] + [equipment we bought] is a very versatile combination that you can do lots of experiments with 2) Method: here is an experiment we did 3) Results: ooh pretty 4) Discussion: you know what’s interesting? our results look a lot like the results you’d get from [scientific concept]. Cool, huh? Wouldn’t that be exciting? But maybe our equipment isn’t fancy enough to achieve [scientific concept]. But oh look, our results look identical to this one obscure theory paper we dug up, even down to the noise, wow, what are the odds. But that theory paper is limited because it doesn’t even address the possibility of [scientific concept] happening. And honestly those two possibilities look almost the same as each other [using the sort of detection methods that are common/easy in our field] even though the underlying causes are completely different. So-- 5) Conclusion: inconclusive, but either it’s [scientific concept] which would be so cool, or we completely matched this obscure theory paper to a degree we wouldn’t have thought possible. But those two things look practically the same, and it might even be possible to have a hybrid of the two, so, inconclusive.

Which is way the hell more intellectually honest. It never even occurred to me that the previous paper was intellectually dishonest because that’s how all physics papers are written. But it is. Even if it were all correct and flawless, it’s still intellectually dishonest to write your paper in such a leading way.

Anyway, we resubmitted to the big European physics journal, the referee there was like “this is the most intellectually honest paper I’ve ever seen, and kudos to you for digging up a paper as obscure as that theory paper to try to find alternate explanations for your results when I, the referee, personally would have assumed it was obviously the much cooler [scientific concept which definitely exists]. I mean, I think you probably got [scientific concept] to work, but wow, that’s so diligent of you to admit there’s another possibility. Publish right away, wow.”

And thus I learned a valuable lesson about science, and intellectual pursuit in general, that I feel most physicists never bother to learn. And I learned it because the review process worked more or less the way it’s supposed to and my paper got rejected.

#in retrospect #and having talked to even more colleagues since then #I think Referee B was probably right #and our equipment probably was not sufficient to get [scientific concept] to work #so I'm glad the final published version of the paper does not actually claim that we did that #because that would be embarrassing.#none of this negates the fact that this was a miserable experience to go through as a grad student

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