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edenesth · 21 days

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MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

Dear Soulmate

I'm sorry it took me so long, anon! I didn't know how to approach this and was waiting for a friend to do it first🙈

For my one and only, my pookie, @itstheghostofmypast💖

Choi San — soulmate au (idiots to lovers)

In a world where soulmates exist, most people discover their other halves before reaching twenty-five, you struggle to find yours, even when he had been right in front of you all along. You've witnessed those around you revelling in the bliss of finding their destined partners, all the while blindly awaiting your own.

"I cannot believe this, I'm dying alone!" you cried.

"Pooks, he'll come when the timing's right, I just know it," Eve, your closest friend and platonic soulmate, reassured you, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you poured out your frustration. Despite being on the cusp of turning 26, your soulmate remained elusive.

"How did you and Hwa find each other again?" you asked, desperate for answers.

Eve sighed, "Whenever one of us gets hurt, a flower tattoo appears on the other in the same spot of their body. You know how clumsy I am, he found me through those blossoms. But each soulmate pair has their own unique connection. Haven't you felt anything special?"

See, in this world with soulmates, each pair discovers their connection in their own way. There's no universal formula, and you despised that fact vehemently. It only added unnecessary complexity to the already challenging quest for love.

Your parents had found each other through their inner voices, where their internal voices are the other's instead of their own. Your sister had found her soulmate through a compass on her body that led her to where her other half is.

And then there was you. Nothing. Nada. Niente. Absolutely nothing at all.

And as your birthday drew near this year, panic set in. You'd soon be a year older than the age when most people found their soulmates. Maybe you didn't have one, maybe he died, maybe he got aborted as a foetus, maybe—

"Woah, woah, just take a deep breath, everything will be okay," your friend reassured, trying her best to help in any way possible, "Hey, didn't you say you've been having a lot of dreams lately? And it's always that same dream?"

You blew a raspberry in frustration, "Yeah, but I doubt my recent dreams have anything to do with my soulmate, assuming I even have one. They're always about that art museum I go to on weekends. I think it's just because I spend so much time there."

She pondered for a moment, "Wait a minute, didn't you mention that San guy you always see there? What if—"

"Oh, hell no," you exclaimed, shuddering at the possibility of that annoyingly gorgeous mountain of a man being your destined lover, "I'd rather be alone forever than end up with someone like him."

It all happened on a day when you sought solace at the museum after a taxing week at school. Exhausted from dealing with incompetent classmates and antagonistic professors, you longed for a moment of peace as you approached your cherished spot in the corner. But to your dismay, you discovered an ignorant man occupying not just one seat, but the entire bench with his belongings. And not just any bench, your bench, the one everyone knew better than to occupy.

So you did the first thing that came to mind, you might have uttered some unkind words out of irritation. Looking back, you acknowledge it was all very unnecessary, considering it was likely his first visit to the museum and he clearly didn't realise it was your spot. However, your pride prevented you from admitting fault.

Consequently, he responded with equal unpleasantness. Even the museum guards had to intervene before things escalated into a fight. Like dealing with children, they persuaded both of you to share the bench since there was clearly more than enough space for two.

You adamantly refused to yield your spot and relocate, asserting your presence since you were here first. Similarly, it seemed his foolish pride prevented him from budging as well; thus, you both found yourselves locked in a silent standoff, exchanging wary glances as you engaged in a weekly silent war.

"Ugh, was hoping I wouldn't have to see your face today," San sneered, earning a glare from you as you settled down beside him. You were running slightly late, having trouble getting up after yet another frustrating dream, one slightly more annoying than usual.

Deliberately nudging his bag aside with irritation, you narrowed your eyes, "You wish, loser. This spot is mine, and it's staying that way."

He smirked in response, "Someone's in a foul mood, but then again, when are you not? Hope it's not because of that dream where your precious bench gets snatched away for good."

"Shut the hell up—"

You stopped short, a sudden realisation hitting you like a ton of bricks. You hadn't shared that dream with anyone, not even Eve. No one should know about it except... No freaking way. He couldn't possibly be the one you've been waiting for all this time. It seemed too absurd to be true. Why, out of all people, would fate pair you with this insufferable, infuriating, irksome yet undeniably attractive, bastard?

"Surprise, genius. It's me, your soulmate."

"I knew," he confessed, his voice carrying frustration and resignation, "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were my other half. That's why I came here in the first place, why I was in this exact spot."

Your breath hitched as his words sank in. All this time, he had known, yet he had still chosen to engage in your petty conflicts.

"But when I met you," he continued, "I was excited, hopeful even. But your attitude, your stubbornness... it's unbearable. As much as I feel the pull towards you, I can't ignore how immensely annoyed I am by your behaviour."

His words landed like a punch to the gut.

"I know that if I had a choice in who my soulmate is," he admitted, his gaze intense, "it would never be you."

After a moment of processing his words, you gritted your teeth in anger, "Well, joke's on you, buddy. I don't want you either. Maybe it would be best for both of us if you stop showing up here from now on."

Days turned into weeks, and true to your request, San ceased his visits to the museum. At first, you felt a strange sense of relief, but soon, that relief morphed into a tumult of conflicting emotions.

You didn't know how to feel. Did you truly mean what you said, or were those words simply born out of anger? Your emotions were a tangled mess. On one hand, you had just turned away your soulmate after yearning for his presence for so long. On the other hand, you couldn't shake the resentment that it had to be him, of all people. Part of you longed to be near him, to reconcile and embrace your destiny. But another part recoiled at the thought, recoiled at the frustration his presence brought.

Unbeknownst to you, San wasn't doing much better. His heart felt hollow, the absence of your presence leaving a gaping void. He tried to carry on with his life as before, but the weight of your rejection hung heavy on his shoulders. But his pride also kept him from reaching out to you.

He suppressed the pull towards you, buried it beneath layers of denial and indifference. But no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, your essence lingered in his dreams, haunting him with visions of what could have been.

Then, one day, fate intervened in a way neither of you could have predicted. You fell ill with food poisoning and ended up in the hospital. In a panic, San saw it in his dream, a vision of you lying pale and weak in a hospital bed. Without hesitation, he raced to your side, his heart pounding with fear. As he stood in the hospital room, watching over you, he realised the depth of his feelings. Despite everything, he couldn't deny the truth any longer. You were his soulmate, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you.

You furrowed your brows at his unexpected appearance, "What the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?"

His heart sank at your coldness, but before he could form a response, Eve intervened, giving you a playful smack on the shoulder, "Stop it, you! He came all this way, and you're still going to be mean to him?" Turning to San with a warm smile, she continued, "You must be San! I'm Eve, her best friend. It's nice to finally meet you. Oh, and please don't take her words to heart. She likes to pretend as if she hadn't been dying to see you again."

Blushing furiously at her blunt revelation, you shot her a glare, but she simply tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "Behave yourself. I'll be back shortly after settling the bill with Hwa," she said, brushing past San. As she passed him, she gave a polite nod, "Please take care of her for me, won't you?"

"Of course, Eve," he replied, nodding in return.

As soon as your friend left the room, he took a step closer, his tone serious, "Listen, I'm tired of playing games. I came here because I realised I can't bear to lose you again. So, tell me if you feel the same right now. If you still want me gone, I'll leave and never show my face around you ever again."

His words struck a chord, and you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He couldn't resist the pull any longer, sitting down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you. Relief flooded through him as he felt you relax in his embrace.

"I don't want to lose you again either. I'm sorry I was an idiot," you whispered.

"You should be," he teased, planting a kiss on your hair, "But I'm sorry too. Perhaps I should have told you who I was from the start. Let's just... not say things we don't mean and hurt each other again, okay?"

You nodded, squeezing him tightly, "Okay, Sannie."

#lovely asks #my pookie #itstheghostofmypast #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez san #soulmate au #choi san x reader #choi san x you

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concerningwolves · 11 months

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Ok having had yet another string of stressful dreams where i can't work out my highschool timetable and been convinced I'd forgotten homework, even though it's been like five years since I left high school, I'm now curious

(bonus if your answer is yes, say how many years it's been since you left school education)

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manjiroscum · 1 year

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SWEET PEA

Character/s: Bonten!Manjiro Sano

Warnings: f!reader, mature language, explicit sexual themes, breeding, a bit of fluff, reader gets a bit insecure, hybrid au, reader is a bunny hybrid + has some bunny features, heat cycles mentioned, creampie, rough sex, and pet names used. Minors do not interact.

Note: commissioned by bby grey @bunnyjiros 💕 thank you as always luv and i hope you like it! 🥺

Synopsis: Manjiro sometimes wishes you wouldn't shy away from expressing your desires.

WC: 1.3k

“She’s turning two this year and it won’t be long before she welcomes a new sibling.”

Beaming smiles were worn by every woman sitting around the table that morning. Brunch was decided on and frankly, you wished you didn’t eat so much. You remember every fleeting glance and inquisitive question sent each other's way. It was supposed to be a get-together with old friends from high school whom you haven’t kept in touch with since graduation due to the duties and tight schedules brought by adult life. But the second you showed up, they were not alone. Everyone gushed about their children and babies that you were sure your floppy ears hurt hearing the same thing. Unlike your fellow hybrid friends, the joys of motherhood were foreign to you. Knowing nothing about labor pains or the hardships of taking care of a newborn, you fell listen as they conversed about it. The sandwich you chewed and swallowed made your stomach hurt slightly while you sat there motionless.

Becoming a parent wasn’t a dream of yours. Heck, you only wanted to survive and graduate from university. The next step after that was to get a job and become stable. The same was true for your friends so it surprised you to see them all building a family of their own. So much can occur and change in five years that it terrifies you. However, the image of having a little one in the future slowly bloomed into your picture of perfection when Sano Manjiro entered your life. While they had their families and other mundane occurrences in their lives, you had your husband, Mikey, who was Bonten’s undefeated leader. The joy of introducing him to your friends waned with each passing moment as they spoke, afraid of their judgemental stares and possible crass comments. What was even worse…

The green-horned monster was rearing its ugly face toward them, eyeing each of their material possessions and the people they hold dear.

“Babe? You doin’ alright?”

Yet, what overpowered that unpleasant state of envy was sheer melancholy. To have and give your lover a child has been one of your plans ever since you tied the knot with Manjiro. There was this unexplained desire to see the most powerful man in Tokyo dote on a small human being and hold them in such gentle ways akin to touching a precious gem. Yet, above that desire was another one—to see your husband smile. However, what was stopping you from discontinuing your birth control and just asking Manjiro to put a baby inside you was his lack of voicing his wishes to have one. That alone was enough to have you sitting there in silence, unable to tear away your gaze from the mirror until your husband had to speak up about his concern.

“Manji, can I ask you something?”

The rest of the jewelry you put on for that gathering was all safely placed inside the velvet box that was filled with other accessories gifted by your husband standing a few feet behind you. You locked eyes with his onyx ones that were normally listless around others. His brow raised, a sign for you to shoot your question away. Clearing your throat, you braced yourself for his response while structuring the inquiry.

“Um, I’ve been thinking… Well, first off, today’s brunch was excellent and I had fun. Second, my friends were discussing things like their babies and children. They were all so cute, Manji! I couldn’t help but gush about them once I saw photos of their chubby cheeks and small hands.” You didn’t realize it, but Manjiro noticed you were now rambling. It didn’t have to take him too long to know that you were nervous, especially with how your floppy ears were stiff due to anxiety. Instead of pointing it out, he opted to let you finish and get to the point with a small curl on his lips. “Don’t you think babies are so tiny and cute? I bet my babies will be cuter than theirs though. I mean, they will be since they’re a combination of you and me. Wouldn’t you agree, Manji?”

“So, you want a baby?” Manjiro, in all his stoic glory, cracked a smile at what you were obviously hinting at from the start. He confirmed he hit the truth once you froze in your seat, eyes slightly widened. He bet that your cheeks were as hot as a summer day, hoping for them to be cooled down by his calloused fingertips. Abashedly, you nodded your head in agreement. There was no use lying to Manjiro. He always seems to have a way of finding out the truth at the end of the day. Plus, beating around the bush with this topic would not satiate your mind seeking for answers on whether he shared the same wish or not. As a response to your harmless query, your husband silently diminished the distance between you two. Your eyes followed his every move from the way his hands sought after your face to the moment he lowered his head to plant a kiss on your lips. Parting from you for a second, he whispered, “If you want it so badly, I’m more than willing to start now. We can do it every day until your heat comes to be extra sure. What do ‘ya say?”

“Well… I don’t want to do this without your consent first and asking if you want a kid—”

Manjiro acted swiftly than your doubts. He knew you like the back of his hand. If anything, he would rather keep you happy than ever witness you fighting back your emotions while staring at a blurry sky. He ignored your slightly panicked expression and kept a straight face on while lifting you from your seat.

Of course, anything you wanted shall be yours.

Your bare back hit the mattress, rubbing against the material as he ground himself against your aching core. His mouth heatedly kissed yours. His adept tongue explored and relished your taste. You were silenced by his loving onslaught of affections, mind rendered silent as you received his gentle but arousing touches. Your floppy ears twitched when he nipped your neck which was accompanied by your mewls at the ticklish yet hot sensation. Manjiro hoped to leave his mark on the supple flesh. He wasn’t going to admit it aloud right now, but when he heard you wanted a child—his child, never has he experienced such bliss that clouded his mind to the point all he could think of was your stomach round with his offspring and the thought of stuffing you full of his fertile cum.

“Baby! Ah, please. Please… Please fuck a baby in me. Wanna have your babies!”

Manjiro was out of control. He cared less and less if his hands left imprints on your hips, wrists, thighs, or any other part of your body as he thrust his cock into your sopping wet cunt. A thick white ring formed around his girthy length that, too, coated his balls that were slapping your ass each time. Even your sensitive floppy ears fell victim to his rough treatment, being held up tightly as he pounded your pussy away. You, on the other hand, screamed for more. Your husband may not be a hybrid like you, however, he was on par with a beast in its rutting season. Every thrust had you begging for more, hoping for him to fill your cunt up until his balls could no longer produce any semen. And that was exactly what you and he wanted—to go at it like animals.

To breed and be bred.

“Fuck, babe…” Manjiro grunted as he climaxed for the fourth time tonight. A hiss escaped his lips at the sight of your abused pussy creamed, dripping as you sobbed into the mattress. Your mind was long gone from its rational state, drunk off on euphoria. Fixing your hair and floppy ears, your husband leaned down to lick on your nape before biting the spot. You were too weak to do anything or even react, just laying there in all your vulnerable form. “Ready to be a mommy? You better be ready to keep this up.

#❣️pat.coms #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tr smut #tokrev smut #tokrev x reader #tokrev x y/n #sano manjiro smut #manjiro sano smut #manjiro x y/n #sano manjiro #tw.breeding #tw.hybrids

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startrekfangirl2233-writes · 1 year

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You Are My Soulmate

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader

Status: In Progress

Last Updated: March 6th, 2024

Disclaimers: Female!Reader

A/N: This is a Soulmate!AU with a spin. Instead of having a single soulmark, a quarter of the population have multiple. Tinkerbell and Rooster are two of those people. I love Soulmate AUs, and well, the Top Gun Brain-Rot is still ever present, so here we go. This one is going to be a bit different for me, as I'm going to be trying out flipping perspectives within the chapters between Rooster and Tinkerbell (Reader's Nickname throughout the fic).

Themes: Angst, Smut, Soulmate!AU, Bradley is a bit of a dick, Rivals to Friends to Lovers, Unrequited Love (Slight, One-Sided)

Summary: You're ecstatic when you find out you have five soul indicators at midnight on the day of your twenty-first birthday, right before you start Officer Candidate School for the Navy in Rhode Island. OCS is so complex you can’t devote time to searching for your soulmate. On graduating from Officer Candidate School, Naval Aviation Command School, and Aviation Maintenance School at the top of your class, you are given the primary selection of detachment and travel worldwide as an Aviation Maintenance Duty Officer. The excitement you felt on your twenty-first birthday has changed over the past seven years, and you’re impatient to see who your soul is. After years of constant movement, it’s a relief to learn you have been assigned to run maintenance on a squadron’s planes out of Naval Air Station North Island. San Diego is sunny and gorgeous, an absolute dream after being stuck on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean for the past six months. The Dagger Squad is a newly-permanent squadron based out of NAS North Island. Each member welcomed you to Miramar as a part of their maintenance crew with warmth and friendliness. Except for one pilot, callsign: Rooster. He’s the most unpleasant pilot you’ve ever met. He’s full of himself, cocky, arrogant, rude, and condescending. If only he didn’t feel so familiar. If only you didn’t feel so drawn to him.

Bradley Bradshaw is sure he’s never going to find his soulmate. He’d been in mourning on his twenty-first birthday, still grieving the loss of his mother, followed by the loss of the only father he’d ever known, his Uncle Mav. It isn’t until Bradley is across the country at Officer Candidate School that he realizes he never received his soul indicators. Years later, and thousands of miles away, recovering from a plane crash, Bradley, now known as Rooster, jolts awake to the half-remembered scent of citrus and glistening hair in a thick braid. Without any other indicators, Rooster gives up. After all, who’d want a soul disfigured by something they loved? That’s when Bradley gives up. He sinks into the reputation of the piano-playing, mustachioed casanova and gives up on his dreams of finding a love like his parents had found in each other. And he’s content with his life until he runs into the feisty, loud AMDO officer newly assigned to NASNI. Something about her feels like everything Bradley’s been searching for, at least, if she weren’t completely committed to Bagman already. You can call him what you want, but Rooster doesn’t steal another man’s girl.

You Are My Soulmate on AO3

You Are My Soulmate on Wattpad

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - Tinkerbell

Chapter 2 - Rooster

Chapter 3 - Rooster

Chapter 3 - Tinkerbell

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Tinkerbell

Chapter 5 - Rooster

Chapter 6 - Tinkerbell

Chapter 6 - Rooster

Chapter 7 - Tinkerbell

Chapter 7 - Rooster

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katyawriteswhump · 3 months

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the power of love pt 4 (steddie, stobin, steve whump fic)

Steve has a habit of surviving near death experiences then getting sick for no reason. And Eddie and those fatal bat bites? After an impossible feat of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Steve, he’s mysteriously fixed. So, Eddie’s back to being banished, this time with Steve and Robin in tow. Eddie’s healing, but Steve isn’t… and life gets even more confusing, when Eddie develops feelings for Steve, which aren’t entirely unrequited.

Part one Part two Part three Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part Nine Part Ten Part 11 Part 12

Chapter Four

Steve POV

1978

Steve carves his way across Lover’s Lake with an energetic front crawl. Okay, he’s got to admit—it’s a bit bigger than he judged.

He’s getting tired, though he can still make it. After all, he’s eleven years old, and the best swimmer in his grade. He reckons he could beat half the kids in the High School swim squad. What’s a puny lake to Steve Harrington?

The waters grow thick and deadly heavy. Soon, his arms flounder and his legs splash uselessly. He glances up to figure how far the bank is, mistimes his stroke, gulps a mouthful of water.

He chokes, swallows, discovers he’s no clue in which direction he should go. He swipes wet hair from his eyes and realizes he can’t see his parents. Can’t see anybody. Yeah, he’d deliberately swum off to prove his father wrong, because he’d said Steve couldn’t cross the lake, but… Oh crap!

He sinks, pulls upward with all he’s got left, and bursts through the surface, screaming: “Dad! Mom! Dad? I’m… lost… Heeeelp!” His legs have gone weak, and he doesn’t know what to do with his arms, whether to wave them or try to swim or… “Mommy? Da-ad? Daddy!”

His final efforts fail, and the dark waters suck him deep, closing seamlessly above his head.

1986

The scary dreams fade to nothingness, and Steve begins to wake. His head aches, and his bat bites manage to throb, itch and burn all at once. He opens his eyes, with a weary sense of having been through all this before, far too many times.

However, he isn’t in his parents’ living room, which is the last thing he remembers. He’s not a clue where he is. It looks like some dingy log cabin, and a stale tobacco stench catches in his throat. Robin’s nowhere to be seen, which alarms him further. Eddie paces the creaking floor, flexing and cracking his fingers.

“Eddie?”

Eddie’s hand flies to his chest. Then that electric smile that Steve’s getting way too fond of returns: “Hey, big boy. How ya doing?”

“Oh, never better.” Steve coughs. He doesn’t even try to rise from the lumpy old camp bed he’s lying on. “My body feels like goddamn heavy metal… and, uh, not the sort you dig.”

“Seen bodies I like less, Harrington.” Eddie smirks then cringes; Steve’s not gotten a clue how to read that. “Look, you've been asleep for nearly twenty-four hours.” He grabs a bottle of water. “You have to drink. Or we’re gonna have to get you to a doctor, and Buckley’s gonna ride my ass.”

“I’ll give it a shot.” Trouble is, Steve knows that Eddie will have to help, and it’s dead awkward. He does his best to sit, while Eddie plumps the pillows and helps support him. Eddie’s hair gets everywhere, way worse than Steve’s. Then Steve’s hand trembles so bad, Eddie has to guide the bottle to his lips. Even then, half the water dribbles down Steve’s chin, and it barely wets his parched lips. After a couple of slurps, his stomach performs an unpleasant flip. “Had enough, man.”

“Ooookay. We’ll try again later, huh?”

“Yeah, if you want me to vomit all over your… Hey, is that my Hugo Boss t-shirt?”

“Don’t worry, Harrington. It’ll look waaay better when I daub it with the sacred Hellfire Club logo.”

Steve’s beyond caring about that kinda stuff. What he really wants to say, but won’t, is that it looks great on Eddie. The short sleeves afford sizzling glimpses of Eddie’s tats.

Christ, get over it, Harrington.

He concentrates on what Eddie is telling him. Turns out, the three of them have escaped Hawkins, though not travelled far: “We’re in a deserted cabin, about twenty miles out. Robin can cycle back and get into radio contact with Dustin and the others, which is where she is now. They can sort out supplies, give us updates. It’s still total chaos in town, which has bought us time.”

“You need to keep moving, man,” murmurs Steve. “I know I said don’t go without me, but… Jesus, I’m slowing you down.”

Eddie gives a casual shrug. “Nah. We can wait for ya, Stevie.”

Stevie?!?

Steve snorts with laughter, then he sinks again fast. He’s so stupidly tired. God knows how long passes before Robin’s voice revives him. “Steve? Steve! Try to wake up. Please?”

He does. For her. His eyes are watery, and it takes a moment to focus. Then he sees her eyes are watery, pink-ish too. “Rob? W-What’s wrong?”

“Thank God, you’re back.” She leans close, attempts a clumsy approximation of a hug. When she pulls away, she unleashes way too many words for him to cope with. Dustin has updated her on tons. Max is hurt, and it’s really bad, and then she talks about Hopper.

Hopper’s alive?

Steve raises a shaky hand to veil his eyes. “Hey, slow down. Max is gonna be okay, right?”

He peeps between his fingers. The look that passes between Robin and Eddie all but chokes him. He disguises a sniffle beneath another cough.

“Hop’s coming back, and that’s good news, right?” says Robin. “Maybe he can get you two off the hook. Although, right now, I believe we’re among the missing, presumed dead. Yay?” She underlines her false cheer with a tremulous smile. That’s when Steve notices the baggy yellow top she’s wearing:

“Hey, that top is mine! You’re both wearing my clothes?”

Eddie leans coolly against the wall. “Badge of ownership, huh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asks Steve. “Who owns whose ass?”

Eddie grins and… was that a twitch of his eyelid or a wink?!? Either way, it dizzies Steve. “Whichever way round you want, baby,” says Eddie.

“Ooookay.” Robin giggles, sounding as jittery as Steve feels. “Uh, Steve. We should probably check your bandages.”

He’s genuinely relieved when Eddie wanders off. He lifts his t-shirt and hisses as she pries the dressing from his scabbed blood. “Is it bad?”

“You’re not all stinky and septic, nor leaking Upside Down black goop, so… No, I’d say good. Does it hurt much?”

“Not as bad as it did.”

“You still seem a bit fever-y.” She gingerly drifts the back of her hand across his brow. “Not so gross and sticky as you were, though.”

“Lucky for you,” he snarks. He actually finds feeling so sick and weak far more intolerable than the pain. It reminds him of when he travelled with his parents, when he was much younger. And when he always got sick. A splash of ice bites deep. “Ow!”

Robin assaults him with an antiseptic spray. “Sorry!”

“Don’t go into medicine, Rob.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. Uh, Steve. One question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you ask us to leave town via Lover’s Lake?”

“Wha—” Steve blinks. His brain strains to retrieve whatever the hell she’s talking about and draws a blank. “I have zero memory of saying that. I mean, why the heck would I?”

“Oookay. You were probably raving.” That nervous laugh returns. “You sure you’re sure you’ve no idea?”

He blinks at her again. He really hasn’t.

He’s always loved swimming in Lover’s Lake. Then again, he likes swimming pretty much everywhere, particularly in open water. It gives him a rush, a sense of control that’s proven so difficult to grasp in pretty much every other area of his life. Okay, there was that one time he nearly drowned in Lover's Lake as a kid. Even that didn’t put him off for long. In fact, it fired him to get stronger, better, to learn lifesaving and CPR.

Robin’s brows are raised, as if she expects some bombshell revelation. “What do you want me to say?” he answers. “I haven’t a goddamn clue.”

She lets it drop. He fears he hasn’t heard the last of whatever’s bugging her. Perhaps, despite her protestations otherwise, she’s still fretting about rabies. “Hey, Eddie,” she yells, “stop skulking and come and help, will you?”

Robin and Eddie finish patching him up, and Steve struggles not to whimper like a candy-ass wuss. Then, as he feels too crappy to sleep, his mood plummets even lower. He can’t stop thinking about Max, and how he’d failed to save her. Maybe if he’d been there, he could’ve found a way, like he did when he saved Eddie?

That he was otherwise occupied feels like an excuse. He should’ve protected the kids better, and… Ugh, he detests being THIS DAMN PATHETIC, a total wimpezoid. He despises being seen like this, even by Robin, and she’s seen him brought low before, when they were captured by the Soviets. Plus, she’s his best friend. Steve Harrington is the big guy, the protector. Without that…

…I’m nothing. Eddie Munson’s gonna see that pretty quick. Uh… Why the Hell should I care so much about that?

His miserable thoughts drain him. He tries curling onto his good side, just as Robin comes at him with a bowl of cereal. “Get lost,” he mutters, and finally drifts back to a sick-feeling sleep.

Later, when he awakes, the fuss remains excruciating. Eddie props him up on more pillows and tucks up the blankets. Robin menaces him with the cereal again, and this time, he chokes down a few mouthfuls. Eddie checks Steve’s wounds, and wipes him down with a cloth, dabbing his scarred torso, hands and face.

Steve refuses to look Eddie in the eye, and chews his lip ragged. He waits till Robin goes outside then asks the question that is literally gonna kill him: “Eddie, I need the bathroom.”

“Oh.” Eddie palpably tenses. “Uh, pretty sure I saw a bucket somewhere.”

Steve groans. “Isn’t there plumbing inside this dump?”

“Noooot as such. There’s literally a brick shithouse outside. Reckon you can make it?”

“Sure,” says Steve, trying to sound casual rather than terrified he’s absolutely not gonna make it.

He manages to sit, and then Eddie helps him to his feet. They start off, with Steve leaning heavily against Eddie. To be fair, it goes better than expected. Steve’s dizzy and slightly nauseous, but the cereal stays down. While his legs are basically jello, they don’t give out completely.

Not until the way back, at any rate.

One of his knees buckles beneath his weight, and he flops into Eddie. He winds up clinging around Eddie’s neck, one foot sliding as if on ice, and staring up into Eddie’s dark, soulful eyes. Losing himself in them, like they’d drugged him or something; even giggling, and wondering fleetingly if that fizzle of attraction might still be real, despite his wretched state.

“I gotcha, Stevie.”

Stevie… again?

The pulsing veins on Eddie’s face betray his strain in keeping Steve from falling. He’s also wearing a faintly amused smile, which touches Steve somewhere tender and deep.

But Eddie’s laughing at him, not with him, right? “Bet I’m hilarious,” mumbles Steve. “I guess with no TV you get your kicks where you can.”

“I don’t watch much TV,” says Eddie, placid enough. “Sure miss my Ghetto Blaster.”

“There was one in my room. If you were dumb enough not to bag it, that’s your loss.”

While bitching, Steve finds his footing again. Eddie helps him back toward the camp bed. When, finally, Steve’s butt lands heavily on it, he’s still hugging around Eddie’s neck, so he tugs Eddie down with him. He slithers his arms free and shivers. He actually wishes he could keep clinging rather than go back to lying alone, feeling horrible. Christ, he’s hopeless.

He rolls to face the wall. Eddie pokes him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” snaps Steve, the heat of his temper warming him. “I made it to the outhouse and back, didn’t I? If you two morons quit stalling, we can get moving again right away.”

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part Ten Part Twelve

...

tags: estrellami1 (thank you, thank you, thank you!) If anybody else would like to be tagged on this fic or any of my writing, please let me know :) Reblogs, comments and likes also very much appreciated :) Thank you for reading so far :)

(also part of my steve whump fic series on AO3)

#steddie #steve harrington whump #steddie fic #steve x eddie #steddie fanfic #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington #stobin fic #platonic stobin #stobin friendship #steve and robin #steve harrington x eddie munson #stobin #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington hurt/comfort

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voidpetrova · 9 months

Text

summertime sadness — stiles stilinski x reader

you can find part 2 here

☄. *. ⋆

content warnings and genre: smut is mentioned, swearing, borderline cheating, use of alcohol ㅡ angst, slowburn

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

synopsis: you and stiles are friends with benefits, in a sense. every summer, you keep your tradition of temporary bliss going. it's a way you get to indulge in the feelings you've been harboring towards him for countless years; a way for the two of you to escape your issues in each other's company. unfortunately, it's never enough. it will never be enough.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kiss me hard before you go

summertime sadness

i just wanted you to know

that baby, you the best

✧.*

“summer's nearly over,” the words left his lips as if he had rid himself of all things unpleasant, without a care in the world. nothing was falsely said; it was the 27th of august. you stiffened, leaning back as you propped yourself up onto your elbows. you threw stiles a glance as he took a deep, delicious sip of the bottle of vodka, leaving the last hit for you.

you would never admit it out loud, but you couldn't express your disappointment enough. summer was your favorite season, the three months you had to get away from issues regarding the pack, the nogitsune, everything—it was as if they had just disappeared. of course, they never really went away, it wasn't as if they took seasonal vacations the way the rest of you did, but in moments like these under the sun, in the woods with nothing but peace, quiet, some cigarettes and a bottle of tito's, it was almost like time stopped. stiles was your anchor. you two were the closest out of the entire pack. hell, even closer than he was with scott. you took pride in it. you were each other's rock.

unfortunately for you, you were an emotional woman. you've always dreamed of setting your emotions aside and using your brain for once, but it seemed all but possible. it's one of the reasons you and allison clicked so much. during the past few years, you were aware of your crush on stiles. you were also aware of how persistent it was becoming and how puppy love soon became true, infatuated love. on top of that, you were aware that you could never have him. you were aware that his heart belonged to lydia. you were aware that he would always be the one that got away.

of course, stiles had his own issues. alongside the nogitsune, he was well aware that his chances with lydia were becoming slimmer as the seconds passed.

that's how the two of you had come to the summertime agreement. from june to august, he was all yours. of course, you would never get to have him in the ways you wanted to. no, you'd have each other, but on his terms. with drunken kisses that would vaguely be remembered the following day, relishing in one another's touch. it felt like heaven, in the worst way possible. you wanted more.

“yeah,” he turned to look at you as you responded rather blandly. no words were spoken the following seconds. a minute passed. birds were chirping as the sun began to set. he handed you the bottle, which you took with no hesitation. “yeah, it's already getting colder.”

i got my red dress on tonight

dancin' in the dark, in the pale moonlight

done my hair up real big, beauty queen style

high heels off, i'm feelin' alive

“you look absolutely stunning.”

a forced smile found its way onto your face, so subtle yet convincing. you locked eyes with the brunette, your gaze wandering from his pretty curls to the tuxedo he had on. you couldn't help but feel appreciated, but in a split second, vague resentment was the stronger opponent.

“thanks, isaac. you look great tonight.”

the two of you locked arms before turning towards the school. a field party was taking place tonight, in order to celebrate a brand new beginning of the school year. summer was slowly coming to a close. in their eyes, it was a celebration. in your eyes, you saw it as defeat.

isaac took notice of your somewhat intensity and couldn't help but frown. he was all too well aware of how you felt about stiles, but he had taken a real interest you ever since joining the pack. you and scott were the first to treat him like a human being, and not just a werewolf. he couldn't help the way his gaze softened as he stared at you, whilst you made your way onto the lacross field, your arms locked. you were so beautiful to him. so delicate and perfect. the way your red dress clung to your body, the pale moonlight reflecting and embracing every one of your features.

your mind wasn't where it should've been, it never was. it could only get worse from here. could it? could it get worse. you wish you hadn't asked yourself that, not knowing what was waiting for you.

“hey guys!”

your heads turned in a split second, following the source of the voice. stiles beamed at the two of you, offering a hug. you could've sworn his gesture had sweeped you off your feet. it would have, actually. if she wasn't there.

“hey, you two! gosh, you guys look so good together.” lydia came from behind stiles, her freshly manicured nails wrapping around one of his arms. you tensed up once again, and you knew isaac could feel it. you forced another smile yet again, happily accepting lydia's hug. “thanks a lot, lyds,” you thanked her, practically lying through your teeth.

“you two look great.” she shrugged, a smile gracing her face as she exchanged excited looks with stiles. you were happy for him, you really were. it wasn't an easy task, driving a wedge between your own emotions and how happy you tried being for your best friends. stiles smiled at you, almost apologetically.

“you take good care of her now,” he said to isaac. you locked eyes for a moment, but he had nothing more to say to you. “she's my best friend, after all.”

oh, my God, i feel it in the air

telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare

honey, i'm on fire, i feel it everywhere

nothin' scares me anymore

your back hit the wall, his hand wrapped around your throat as he pressed his lips into your neck. you whimpered, legs wrapping around his waist as you tilted your head to the side, giving him all thr access in the world to your neck.

“stiles,” you moaned out softly. he didn't stop, only murmured out a quiet 'hm' in response. nothing could stop him in this moment. in this quiet moment, against his bedroom wall, the time you were spending together counted. every second of every minute. “we shouldn't be doing this.”

he pulled back, his eyes locking with yours, a puzzled look on his face. “we've been doing this the last three months, don't tell me you're already getting bored.” he was joking, but even you were able to sense the serious undertone. it was wrong. what the two of you were doing was a serious kick to the balls of morality. he was a few steps away from starting something up with lydia, yet here he was, messing with you on the sidelines. you hated how the guilt wrecked you, but loved how he made you feel.

“of course i'm not,” you spoke softly. his hands gripped the back of your thighs tightly, keeping you propped up against the wall. “but it isn't exactly fair to lydia.” he clenched at the sound of her name, pressing his lips together.

“summer's nearly over,” he had repeated the exact words he said two days earlier. you watched him closely, heartbeat speeding up. your lipstick was smudged, eye makeup all but gone from the way stiles vigorously touched you, kissed you. “a few days from now, we're gonna go back to being how we used to be. we're gonna be the same best friends we always were. i'm gonna go back to lydia, you're gonna go back to isaac. he really likes you, i think you'd make a great couple.”

you couldn't stop yourself from laughing at his words. your tone was bitter, all but a metallic taste spreading from tongue tip to throat. he raised an eyebrow, as if to question you.

“you really don't get it, stiles. do you?”

“get what? what is there to get?”

in a second, you felt him drop his grip from your thighs, your legs dropping from either one of his hips. now your heart was really racing. you finally had your lifelong chance to say something. say something. say something. it was a matter where your odds were stacked, you could lose or gain everything if you finally got everything off your chest.

“does it have to be like this?” the question came off more soft than you had intended on it being. you were supposed to be setting everything straight, marking where you stood. instead, you felt like the ground was crumbling beneath you. like he had all the power. he did. he had all the power over you, he just didn't know it. “does this really have to be just some stupid annual fling? does my only purpose have to be providing you temporary comfort?”

he had expected everything, everything but what you had just asked. he was well aware of your moral compass, of the way you chose to live your black and white life, while others spent their lives in grey.

“it does.”

his words hit you like a ton of bricks. you knew him, you knew how he breathed. you knew him for his sarcastic exterior the same way you knew him for his soft, delicate intetior. you understood him in ways others, even scott and lydia and noah, couldn't. he was an open book to you.

“why does it need to be this way stiles?” you tried to suppress any urge you had to break down right then and there. he had seen you cry numerous times before, as have you seen him, but this was different. you couldn't let yourself fall apart here. it wasn't the time nor was it the place.

he couldn't help but sigh heavily, hands rubbing at his face vigorously as if to calm himself down. he turned his back on you, as the room had just gone quiet. he was looking for the right way to say what you needed to, but didn't want to, hear.

“what you and i have is a seasonal distraction,” he spoke clearly, as if trying to get it through your head. “what she and i have is lifelong love.”

kiss me hard before you go

summertime sadness

i just wanted you to know

that baby, you the best

#teen wolf #stiles stilinski #stiles x reader #scott mccall #lydia martin #isaac lahey #smut #fanfiction #angst #slowburn

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hatsunevitu · 9 months

Note

do you ship Stary (Stan x Gary)?

oh my god ABSOLUTELY. for some reason i got reaaally into it and came up with an au of how they got closer. i’m not usually a fan of ships with one-episode characters, but stary is SO great. HOLD ON LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT AU

okay, so, we all know how “all about mormons” ended and that we have never heard of gary after that, right? now just let’s imagine he stayed in the school, in the same class as stan and others, but visibly started to avoid the main four. he hung out with the “background kids” and mostly girls, because they all adored how nice he is.

it didn’t actually make any difference for main four – they still thought gary was lame and were not interested in talking to him since he’s not a new kid in the class anymore. they all didn’t really like him. except for stan.

stan couldn’t get the thought of gary out of his head for all the following years. he didn’t make any attempts to befriending gary again, because he knew guys wouldn’t understand and he was terrified of hearing rejection again, so he mostly just… kinda secretly looked through gary’s social media once a week (or more often) and sometimes watched him out of the corner of his eye in the classroom.

he saw that gary was doing pretty fine without him, so he didn’t wanna be an inconvenience, but the thought. the thought that he had missed his chance to be friends with one of the most sincere and comforting people in the whole school only because of the peer pressure.

but he didn’t thought he could have a chance to reconnect until he has heard that gary’s parents are getting a divorce and that the “perfect mormon house” secretly had its troubles. and then, as it was absolutely destined, after the lessons ended, he sees gary sitting in the classroom all alone with a blank expression on his face and tired look in his eyes. and without giving it a second thought he walks up to gary and asks if everything’s fine.

and they start talking. for an hour, if not more. stan know some shit about divorcing parents, troubles at home and an urge to drink to feel happy (which turned out to be gary’s problem too), so he know how to support him, and gary is such a great listener. they start with discussing gary’s family problems, then eventually they start remembering their first time seeing each other, and stan (unexpectedly for even himself) openly admits he regrets fucking up things with their friendship, and he has dreamed of finally talking to him again for, like, ages. and gary just genuinely smiles and takes his hand saying that they still have time for that.

eventually they hang out together more. with gary there isn’t a lot of crazy adventures, and stan, who’s got pretty sick of those, feels so relaxed while being with him. the only thing is that they mostly meet privately and secretly from the rest of the main four, because stan feels this irrational shame for being friends with someone they don’t like. it kinda upsets gary, but he doesn’t want to end their friendship because of the same reason it ended the first time.

so yeah, that takes them two or three months until stan finally realises the unpleasant truth – he doesn’t wanna be just friends with gary and his nearly-obsession with him for the last five years was more likely a behaviour of a person who’s desperately in love. fuck. he doesn’t confess his feelings to gary because he’s too scared of fucking thing up the second time.

and it seems to be working, but the more stan spends time with gary, the more love he feels, until one day he finally snaps and while one of their walks in the park he very awkwardly kisses gary, who (honestly) doesn’t really seem to mind it.

and stan, an example of bravery, apologises and runs away before gary has a chance to answer him properly. ‘cause stan’s a jerk and he’s panicking.

he’s not used to handling stressful situations by himself, so he calls kyle because he has no one else to talk to:

stan: Dude, I have a problem. A big one.

kyle: Woah what happened??? Do you want me to come to your place?

stan: I just kissed a dude.

kyle: Okay I knew I’d hear these words from you one day.

stan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW.

kyle: Oh please–

stan: We’ll talk about it later.

kyle: Pff, sure, dude. So you’re gay? Is this a coming out? I’m really proud of you finally admitting it out loud and sharing this with me, you know I’ll always support you whenever you ne–

stan: It’s Gary Harrison.

kyle: What. The mormon kid????

stan: Yeah, we kinda… Hung out together in secret…

kyle: But you hated him???

stan: WELL IT TURNS OUT I DIDN’T.

kyle: So what do you call me for?

stan: Oh, right. I kinda… ran away after we kissed?…

kyle: WHY.

stan: I DON’T KNOW, MAN, I PANICKED.

so kyle as the most supportive friend ever first laughs at stan, then helps him to understand what to do next. (and totally tells about it to cartman)

and, well, it’s pretty long enough so i guess i’ll stop here, because the rest of it is pretty much the plot of any slowburn mlm 200k words fic lmao

so yeah. answering to your question: i love stary. a lot.

#south park #sp #stan marsh #gary harrison #sp stary #start #stan x gary #sp stan #sp gary

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elf-osamu · 10 months

Note

Hello!!! I hope you don't mind me requesting a comfort scenario with GN!reader and Gojo Satoru. The reader is touch starved and tired in general so Gojo soothes them to sleep <333

“I WISH YOU SWEET DREAMS”

[ masterlist ] [ reblogs are v v v appreciated ]

hurt/comfort (kind of), romantic relationship, satoru gojō x gn!reader

warning(s) : touch-starved!reader, trouble sleeping, sleep-deprived!reader, pre-established relationship

word count : 583 words

plot : “life can be stressful and exhausting - sometimes, people crave rest and affection”

a/n : I'M SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS AFTER ALMOST A YEAR OMG, i've been so busy between mental health struggles and school. but i managed to write it ! this request was adorable to write, truly 😭<3 ngl satoru is one of my comfort characters and i love writing for him !!

tiredness seemed to be lingered over your body, like an invisible coat pressed with force on your shoulders, reluctant at the thought of disappearing too soon. it was a rather troublesome feeling, making everything more complicated than it already was — an unpleasant situation to find yourself in.

there wasn’t a specific reason for your behaviour (or was there? as of now, you were too restless to think about your feelings), it had been just an awful week and you hadn’t been able to sleep properly, if not at all. your whole body demanded a place to lie on, to finally rest peacefully without worries on your mind, but it seemed an unsurpassable task, something which required too much trouble and energy to be actually put into practice.

on top of that, your need for physical contact was becoming more and more persistent as the time passed; you craved the comforting sensation that was human warmth; you missed your boyfriend’s, satoru, presence and affection.

it had been a rough time for the both of you: your free hours didn’t align with his and viceversa, resulting in an unmet wish and a desert apartment. you tried to occupy your mind with everything you could think of when waves of loneliness hit you — you had to distract yourself from that constant feeling, otherwise you would have completely succumbed to despair.

however there you were, laying down on the bed with your face drowned in the comfort of your mattress.

as your thoughts got the best of you, you didn’t have the energy to do anything, but your restless mind kept you from feeling enough at ease to rest, even for a short time.

you were planning on another boring and sorrowful night, already visualizing all kinds of misfortunes that could happen from there to the following day, until you suddenly heard a familiar humming. it was low, but it brought a cheerful sound to your ears; hope was growing in your chest, the possibility that at first seemed unthinkable was now almost reality.

as you sensed his presence, you quietly said, almost in a whisper, “satoru?”.

footsteps echoed in the room, answering to your question.

“the one and only” he made himself known, leaving a kiss on the crown of your head.

after he changed into more comfortable clothes, satoru lay down next to you, hugging you to bring you closer to him. your muscles relaxed under his touch and so you hugged his waist, feeling finally comfortable after days.

“bad day?”, he asked softly, not wanting to upset you, and kissed your forehead.

you rested your head on his chest, “bad everything. i’m… so exhausted and i’ve missed you so much”.

he was able to calm your worries with his presence, which was comforting to you. despite being a powerful sorcerer and having to make incredibly hard decisions on a daily basis, he felt like he could show his vulnerable side to you. it wasn’t always like that, it took time to get to the point you two were now — and you both were fine with it.

he kissed your head again, “i missed you too” he whispered, hugging you more tightly. “do you wanna stay here like this?”

your nod was enough to reply to him.

you slowly closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat and syncronizing your breath with his — and soon enough you fell asleep.

“goodnight, [name]” satoru murmured; he was glad he could make you feel safe.

[ do not copy, translate etc. | by @ elf-osamu ]

#az.writes #jjk jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojou x reader #satoru gojou #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x you #jjk satoru #jjk gojo #gojou satoru x reader #x gn!reader #x gn reader #gn reader #satoru gojo x gn reader #gojo satoru x gn reader

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lesyoussoupoff · 20 days

Text

At the start of World War I, Prince Felix Youssoupoff avoided entering military service by taking advantage of a law exempting only sons from serving. However, this was soon frowned upon by many including members of the Imperial Family. Grand Duchess Olga Nikolevna wrote to her father after visiting her cousin Irina, "Felix is a 'downright civilian,' dressed all in brown, walked to and fro about the room, searching in some bookcases with magazines and virtually doing nothing; an utterly unpleasant impression he makes – a man idling in such times."

Whether out of a sense of duty or to silence society, Felix decided to take action in September 1915. "I soon found it impossible to go on leading a life of case when all the men of my age were at the front. I decided to enter the Corps des Pages and take an officer's training course. The year I spent in a military school was not easy but it certainly did me a lot of good, and the discipline was excellent for my independent spirit which was so unamenable to any form of discipline."

His father who had always dreamed of his son having a military career was pleased with the decision, however, his mother was not. Princess Zenaida wrote to Felix, "Your employment in the Corps of Pages is of no use, you should have entered there in September, and now it’s too late, for conscription it will not count. Just don’t let Irina worry, because, in any case, you won’t go to the front. It’s better not to show her this letter.”

Fearing for her son, Zenaida used her influence to ensure Felix would never be called to the front. General Alexei Polivanov gave her a personal guarantee that Felix would not be called to serve for at least one year.

Due to the banishment for his participation in Rasputin's murder, and subsequent Revolution, we will never know if Felix would have actively participated in the front.

Sources: The Murder of Grigori Rasputin by Margarita Nelipa and Prince Felix Yusupov by Elizaveta Krasnykh

#Prince Felix Youssoupoff #Prince Felix Yusupov #Yusupov #Youssoupoff #Youssoupov #russian nobility

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m1ckeyb3rry · 5 months

Text

Pomegranate Ink: XV

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: You meet Megumi Fushiguro. Later, a mishap on a walk leads to an unpleasant discovery.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.0k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: this chapter is like the typical pomegranate ink stupidity but super bloody edition

Megumi Fushiguro was not at all what you had expected. Actually, you weren’t sure what you had been expecting, but whatever that may have been, the boy in front you was certainly contrary to it. He reminded you a little of Yuta, but harsher, sharper, his eyes a stony green compared to Yuta’s limpid blue, his brows furrowed with a permanent irritation instead of mournfully upturned the way Yuta’s usually were.

“I wish you guys would talk,” Gojo muttered after a few minutes.

“I’m Megumi Fushiguro,” Megumi said stiffly, like even saying the words pained him. You smiled tentatively, wondering if this could be considered a personal insult or if he was just like this with everyone.

“It’s nice to meet you, Megumi. I’m Y/N L/N,” you said. You realized belatedly that you should’ve referred to him as Fushiguro, but Gojo had only ever called him Megumi, so you had begun to think of him as such. He did not get upset about it, however, only shoving his hands in his pockets and training his gaze on the ground.

“Nice to meet you, too, L/N,” he said, and now instead of stiff he just sounded extraordinarily shy.

“You can call me Y/N,” you said. “Since you’re letting me call you Megumi and all.”

“Sure,” he said. “Y/N.”

“Yay, I’m so glad you’re getting along!” Gojo squealed, clapping his hands together. The most baleful look you had ever seen a person don flitted over Megumi’s face, and you muffled a laugh.

“We’re only getting along because you’re forcing us to!” he hissed. Gojo shrugged innocently, as if the thought had never crossed his mind.

“So, you’re my underclassman,” you said, peering at him curiously, an examination for which he stood perfectly still, not even daring to breathe. “Do you respect me?”

“You’re a grade one sorcerer,” he said. “I respect how strong you are.”

“I see,” you said. “You’re clever with that — the whole art of the non-answer, I mean. It’s admirable. And you’re right, I am a grade one sorcerer! I’d say that’d make me somewhat respectable, even if I weren’t your upperclassman.”

“Correct,” he said.

“Wait, can I be your favorite?” you said.

“What?” he said.

“I want to be your favorite! The one you ask for advice and help with training! The one you go to when you’re feeling down in the dumps or when you want to celebrate!” you said, your eyes turning to metaphorical stars at the thought of being something like Megumi’s mentor. Now that you were the most established of your classmates, a first grade compared to everyone else’s lower ranking, you thought that you deserved to be considered a reliable and trustworthy upperclassman.

“Our techniques aren’t really that similar at all,” he said. “I think I’d find more merit from training with Maki Zenin or Tullia Ferraro.”

You frowned, put out by the blunt answer, feeling your dreams literally crumbling down around you. Gojo patted you on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, there’s another first year who’ll be here somewhat soon. Maybe you can be her favorite,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. Megumi looked around the room uncomfortably.

“Can I go yet?” he said.

“Do you not enjoy finally getting to meet your hero?” Gojo said, opening his arms with a dramatic flourish. “I thought you’d be a little more excited about getting to meet the Y/N L/N!”

“Uh, what?” you said. “Hero?”

“That’s not true!” Megumi said, his voice suddenly high-pitched with embarrassment. “She is not my hero!”

“Of course not. I am,” Gojo said. “But isn’t she second place? You know, Megumi, she has everything you could ever look for in a role model. Strong character, great morals, powerful technique, and her face isn’t half-bad looking, either!”

“‘Isn’t half-bad looking?’” you said critically.

“Her looks are not a factor in whether she can be considered a role model or not in the first place!” Megumi sputtered. “You’re just saying random nonsense to make me feel embarrassed!”

“And you’re insulting my looks while you’re at it,” you said. “Not your best move, Gojo.”

“You think Nanami is better looking than me,” he pointed out. “You deserve it.”

“You are so petty,” you said. “Anyways, wouldn’t it be a little weird if I thought you were good looking? You’re like my brother.”

“Which makes you like my sister, and that means it would also be weird if I thought you were good looking,” Gojo said. You could not refute this logic, so you settled for crossing your arms and sticking your nose in the air haughtily, turning away from Gojo, who returned the favor in kind with a ‘hmph’.

“I’m going to go get my dorm ready, then,” Megumi said, inching out of the door while you and Gojo glared at one another — or, at least, you were glaring at Gojo. However, he had his blindfold on, so it was generally hard to tell if he was glaring. Regardless, he was facing in your general direction and did not protest as Megumi all but sprinted out of the room, leaving you two alone.

“You should go meet the rest of your classmates,” Gojo said, abruptly turning away and heading towards his desk, sitting back down and giving you a thumbs up. It was a complete change from his earlier mood, but as you were used to such fickleness from Gojo, you did not complain, only nodding eagerly.

“That’s right, it’s been so long since I last saw Maki and the others! I met Tullia already, but I came here instead of going to see everyone else. Do you mind if I head out?” you said.

“Go on ahead,” he said. “We can talk later. How about we go out for desserts sometime?”

“Sounds like a plan,” you said. “Just let me know when you’re free. I’ll be here; you’re the one that the higher ups keep working to the bone.”

He let out an affected sigh. “Ah, well. It’s like I said, isn’t it? The life of the strongest. Don’t worry about me, I’m used to it.”

You thought you might say something else, something reassuring, but for some reason you sensed that he might not like to hear it. So you only nodded, giving him one last smile before slipping out of his office and leaving him alone to his thoughts.

There were four figures in the dining hall, crowded around one single table and engaged in some lively conversation. Panda was gesturing about wildly, and Tullia was laughing, her cheeks flushed as Toge wrote something on a piece of paper and showed her. It was a comforting, familiar scene, and something arose in your throat as you remembered how much you had missed them during the summer break.

However, it was not Panda that you were most focused on, nor Toge and Tullia. It was her, your best friend, the person you had wanted to see above all else, that your eyes jumped to immediately. She was scowling at the others, though at the creak of the door opening, she cocked her head and turned to look at you.

Her eyes widened, and then she broke into a grin, jumping to her feet and running over to meet you. You did the same, and you both collided in an embrace of the sort that you had been imagining since you left her last.

“Maki!” you said, your arms tight around her shoulders, your cheek pressed against her own.

“Y/N,” she murmured, hands resting on your back, pulling you even closer to her. You allowed your eyes to shut, staying still for a moment, safe in the knowledge that Maki was here now. “It’s been way too long.”

“Look who it is!” Panda shouted, and suddenly you were being torn from Maki and engulfed in Panda’s warmth, his sweet-smelling fur which was so soft against your face. You laughed, surprised to feel tears springing to your eyes. If Panda felt them, he did not say anything, for which you were grateful.

“Kelp,” Toge said. You emerged from Panda’s fluff and beamed at him, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

“I like the new hairstyle, Toge! Actually, all of you look great. It seems like summer treated everyone well,” you said. Toge’s once-spiky hair had been allowed to grow out, the pale strands falling into his violet eyes, and where Tullia had formerly kept her hair in two braids, it was now left to hang loose around her shoulders and down her back. As for Maki, her high ponytail remained the same as before, but she had gotten bangs and changed the style of her glasses, highlighting the dangerous cut of her face and the sharpness of her gaze.

“Treated you the best, though, didn’t it, Grade 1 sorcerer?” Maki said.

“I can’t argue with that,” you said, shrugging as you went over to get some food before rejoining everyone at the table. “So, I know Tullia was at the beach. What has everyone else been up to?”

“Nothing much,” Maki said. “You know I stay on campus throughout the break, so I’ve just been practicing, I guess. Training. You know how it is.”

“It wouldn’t be you if you weren’t training,” you said with a snicker, causing her to wrinkle her nose at you.

“Toge was telling us about how he spent some time with his family,” Tullia supplied helpfully, earning her a grateful look from the boy, who likely had not wanted to waste another sheet of paper explaining what he had done over the summer.

“I napped a lot,” Panda said. “Went to the zoo and scared some kids at one point. It was fun.”

“You are crazy,” you said, shaking your head before sighing. “I wish Yuta was here. It feels so strange without him. He should be telling us stories of Africa right now.”

“I was just going to say that,” Maki said with a nod. “It’s disconcerting, you know? Not having him here.”

“Yeah,” Tullia said. “I hope he comes back soon.”

You were reminded, suddenly, that you were not the only one with a claim on him. Naturally, the others could not dare to compete with the bond that you two shared — after all, you had quite literally brought him back from the dead, there was something to be said for that, and anyways you loved each other in an entirely different way — but they were his friends, too. They all missed him.

Especially Toge. No matter how fond he was of the rest of you and what he felt for Tullia, the fact remained that Yuta was his best friend, as Maki was yours. You vowed to spend some more time with him, so that he did not get lonely in the time that Yuta was in Africa.

“Do you want to go on a walk after we eat?” Maki asked you.

“Yes!” you said, jumping on the chance to spend time with her. You knew before he even responded that Panda would say no, and no doubt Toge and Tullia would naturally separate, giving you the time to talk with your best friend alone. It wasn’t as if there was anything you couldn’t say in front of the others, but sometimes, you just wanted to be with her and no one else.

“Um, no,” Panda said. “You already forced me to take a bath earlier. That’s quite enough demands from you for today. I’m going to go take another nap.”

“Whatever,” Maki said. None of you were surprised by this, so she took the rejection in turn before turning to Toge and Tullia. “You two?”

“I’m in,” Tullia said.

“Salmon,” Toge agreed. Maki pumped her fist in the air, which you believed to be a bit of an overreaction to a simple walk. But, then again, it had been so long since the four of you had even done that much together that you really couldn’t blame her.

The weather outside was lovely, the heat of summer still emanating from the very air, but with the barest hints of fall creeping in, so that the temperature was not entirely insufferable. You looped your arm through Maki’s as you walked down the path, ahead of Toge and Tullia, who were doing their own thing, judging by Tullia’s whispers and Toge’s thumbs flying over his phone keyboard.

“So,” Maki said. “How have things been with you and Yuta?”

“Good,” you said. “Naturally, I miss him terribly, but I understand why he had to go, and I know he’ll be back soon, so it’s not unbearable. Plus, we talk all of the time. Surprisingly, for being in a secret village in an undisclosed region of the African continent, he has really great cell service.”

“I wouldn’t have expected that,” Maki admitted. “But I guess he’s pretty active in the groupchat, so it makes sense.”

“Miguel’s family doesn’t cheap out on anything,” you said. “All in all, we’re making the best of the scenario we’ve been given. There’s nothing else to do, so we just keep going in the way we have been and counting down the days until he can come back.”

Before she could respond, there was a massive crashing sound behind you. You turned around to see Toge sitting on the ground and clutching his head, rivers of blooding already matting his hair. Tullia was crouched beside him, face pale with horror.

“What happened?” Maki said as the two of you raced to their sides.

“He tripped on a rock,” Tullia said. “It’s so entirely silly! He tripped on a rock, though he managed to save himself in time…but he would’ve been better off if he’d just tripped! See, he had to catch onto a branch to avoid falling, but the branch must’ve been dead or something, because it just broke off. Luckily, by then I had gathered my wits about me enough to grab his hand and keep him up, but then unluckily the branch hit him on the head and he ended up like this!”

“There’s no need to freak out,” you soothed, smoothing Toge’s hair away from his forehead and wiping the blood from his face. “Head wounds tend to look a lot more serious than they actually are because of how much they bleed. It’s likely nothing to get too worked up over.”

“Salmon,” Toge said woozily, a feeble attempt at consolation, though he immediately passed out afterwards, making it less consolatory and more worrying.

Your years of living around healers, even without having a Reverse Cursed Technique, meant that you were somewhat of an authority on the subjects of injuries and ailments. The others would defer to your judgment on the situation, and your first assessment was indeed that Toge had just had an unfortunate scrape-up with a branch — humiliating and painful, but nothing more serious than that.

Just in case, however, you silently activated your cursed technique, trying to see if Dissection might reveal something about his physical state that was not obvious through the copious amounts of blood streaming out of what must have been a tiny wound. On the off chance that something was wrong, it would be important to get help as soon as possible, so that he did not suffer long term effects from the stupid injury.

The first thing you discovered was that it was not a tiny wound. You did not let yourself outwardly react so that you did not stress the others out, but judging by the glaring red glow around the crown of his head, he had fractured his skull and was also likely suffering a traumatic brain injury. Of course; it was almost the absolute worst case, but not out of the realms of probability. You had not inspected the branch that had hit him, but if it was heavy enough, then the level of his injuries made sense.

They would have massive repercussions if not treated immediately. You knew from how bright the red glow of Dissection was that it was like that, that Toge’s very life was in danger, but it would not be a problem if you could reach Shoko in time.

Except for one small problem: Shoko was currently in Kyoto on a business trip to visit Utahime Iori, the head teacher of your sister campus. The best thing that could happen would be if you contacted Gojo, who would then somehow do some Gojo-like nonsense to get Shoko on the scene as soon as possible.

No, that wasn’t true, actually. The best thing that could happen — the best thing that could happen would be you healing Toge. You could do it, you knew you had the capability, but something was stopping you. According to your father, it was your usage of Dissection that blocked Composition, and maybe he was right, but you couldn’t dwell on that now.

You came to a split-second decision. You weren’t sure if you could do it, but you had to try. Otherwise, one of your best friends might very well die in the most ridiculous way known to mankind. Shaking your head to clear it and steeling your resolve, you beckoned Maki over.

“Did something happen?” she said.

“Help me lie him flat,” you said instead of answering her question.

“What?” she hissed, complying anyways. She was quick on the uptake, she knew that this meant something was more wrong than you were letting on, but now that you had committed yourself to the course of action, you had no time to discuss it with anyone.

“Tullia, text Gojo and ask him if he can get Shoko,” you said. “Tell him there’s an emergency. I’ll try to handle it in the meantime.”

“Alright,” she said, pulling out her phone and giving you and Toge a worried look before doing as you had asked. There was a palpable tension in the air now; everyone knew something was wrong. Everyone knew what you were going to attempt. No one knew what the outcome was going to be. That was the source of it all, and maybe you should’ve just sat and waited for Gojo, but you weren’t the kind of person who could sit and wait when one of your friends was in danger.

“Maki,” you said, once she had taken a step back from Toge. “Be ready to carry him if necessary. You’re the strongest of us three, so you’ll have to be the one to do it.”

“Not a problem. Do you think you can use it again, though?” she said.

“I don’t know,” you said. “Maybe not. Probably not. I have to try, though. If Shoko can’t get here in time, then I’m his only chance. Anyways, at least he’s a lot further from death than Yuta was. There’s that. It should be a little simpler this time around.”

“Okay,” she said with a nod, squeezing your shoulder before giving you enough space to center yourself. “That’s good to know. Even if he wasn’t, though, I’d still think you could do it. I believe in you.”

That was all you needed. Maki believed in you. She always had, and she always would. If you had that, you could do this. You could do anything. Taking a deep breath, you reached inside of yourself, searching for the pain of the Reverse Cursed Technique, and then you searched for Toge’s pain, multiplying them together.

It had to work. It just had to.

“Composition,” you said, focusing your power on his head. “Please. Composition.”

This time when you used Composition, unlike the last, you felt something swirl and flare up inside you. It was as if someone else was there to help you, their cursed energy cradling your own, supporting it so that it could rally and do what it had to.

It was curious, too. There was no knife. You felt no pain as you hesitantly began to heal Toge, unsure of what was happening to you, unsure of why you were able to use the Reverse Cursed Technique without hurting, unsure of how you could use it despite the fact that you had not ceased to use Dissection. Everything about the situation was antithetical to what your father had said would happen, what you yourself had experienced happening, and you hated not understanding why. Because pain didn’t just vanish like that. It didn’t just disappear. If anything, it only ever transferred, like a debt, passed on from person to person until someone paid it back in full. So who was it? Who at present was responsible for the owing?

There was a piercing scream as Toge’s wounds began to knit together. It was the most anguished sound you had ever heard, layers of untold pain wrapped into a single cry, and you knew without a doubt what it meant. It resonated in your bones, echoed through your veins, reflecting everything you had ever felt while using Composition, everything you should’ve been feeling at that moment but weren’t.

It was Tullia. She was shrieking and moaning, trying to speak, but she couldn’t, couldn’t form coherent words or thoughts or sentences, such was the depth of her hurt. You turned to face her, still healing Toge, and were met with a gory sight: blood was trickling from her nose, the corners of her mouth, and even her very eyes — though of course this blood was diluted, mixed with the saltwater of her tears as it ran down her cheeks.

“Tullia? Y/N, do you — do you know what is happening to her? Is she dying? Forget about Toge, we have to help her! We have to do something!” Maki said, turning to you, terror written plainly on her features as she cast about for something more to say. You ought to have comforted her, but you were frozen, staring at Tullia in shock, a theory rapidly forming in your mind. It was a theory you did not want to be true, but intrinsically, you knew it was.

“There’s a knife in your heart,” you said. “Isn’t there?”

She did not say anything in response, but a wet, choking sound escaped her. She was gagging, you realized, on the blood coating her throat, on that metallic, tangy taste. Maki was rubbing her back, trying to help her expel the blood that kept on coming, but it was in vain. It would always be in vain, because there was nobody who could ease Tullia’s suffering. Nobody except for you.

“It’s over now,” you predicted as you deemed Toge fully healed. Tullia’s entire body was shuddering, her eyelashes clumped together with blood, her lips shining still bright with it. The feeble attempts of a body not meant for the Reverse Cursed Technique to survive its use. “Take a deep breath, Tullia. It’s over.”

Several minutes passed as Tullia regained function, coughing and hacking as she gazed up at you, the scleras of her eyes shot through with red, her entire face and front covered in blood, the ends of her hair sticky, her eyelashes clumped together and crimson.

“How did you know?” she wheezed. “That it was a knife. That it would end. I thought it never would. I thought I must’ve died already, so how — how did you know?”

“I know because I’m the one who did it to you,” you said. “It was my fault.”

The way that Maki and Tullia looked at you then was as if they did not know you. It was as if you were a monster who had stolen the body of their friend. Weren’t you, though? Weren’t you just an iteration of Elakshi’s snake curse, a being that preyed upon those that did not know better and used them as you pleased?

“I don’t understand,” Maki said, voice wavering, pleading. “How is it your fault? Why is it your fault?”

She didn’t want it to be true. She didn’t want for you, her very best friend, to be the kind of person that hurt the ones you loved. You swallowed hard, focusing on Toge’s peaceful expression. You had never disappointed Maki before. You had also never hurt Tullia before. You found that both were not sensations you liked. You didn’t want to be the kind of person that hurt the ones you loved, either.

“I used her to heal Toge,” you said. “To use Composition, I firstly used her. That’s why it’s my fault she’s like this. That’s how I did it to her.”

You and Tullia sat side by side in Gojo’s office, both freshly showered, the evidence of the ill-fated experience in the forest washed off of your bodies so that you could pretend like it had not happened in the first place. Pretending was foolish, though, because of course it hadhappened and neither of you could forget that fact, but it made the silence between you two a little smoother, a little easier, if you did not acknowledge it. So you didn’t.

Maki was watching over Toge as he slept in the infirmary, Panda watching over both of them with that strange wisdom he sometimes possessed. You thought that Maki must not want to see you anymore, or at least for the moment could not bear to see the face of the one who had done what you had to Tullia, so you did not beg for her to come with you. Still, you wished she was there, wished that you did not feel so alone and small.

Actually, in truth you wished more that Yuta was there. You wanted his steadiness, his loyalty, his affection. He understood blood, understood sacrifice and death and all that came with it. He wouldn’t shun you for what had happened. He’d probably love you more if he had seen. You would’ve been like that, then, two people who could not escape hurting anyone else and found solace only in hurting one another. But neither Yuta nor Maki were there, and you were alone with the very girl whose body you had wrecked in the pursuit of saving your friend.

“I think I know what happened,” Gojo said after a long silence. “When Tullia drank your blood to save you, Y/N, the two of you accidentally formed some kind of vow or contract or something. The contract allows Y/N to use Composition despite her decision to focus on Dissection, but at the cost of Tullia’s cursed energy. The reason why Tullia went into such shock is because she isn’t equipped to handle the Reverse Cursed Technique.”

“Without help,” you completed for him, though you doubted he had even known that his sentence needed completing in the first place.

“Hm?” Gojo said. You gave Tullia a guilty look. Was it fair of you to suggest this? No, of course not. You were choosing to possibly hurt your friend so that you could continue to fight and still be able to heal. You had seen what it had done to her, and you were still suggesting it. What kind of a person were you? But it was the most logical thing. What was Tullia’s life to the lives you could save by exorcising curses, to the sorcerers you could save with the Reverse Cursed Technique? Were you even qualified to make that call? It was not fair, would never be fair, but you had to do it anyways. You had to say it.

She did not look back at you, face forward, staring at Gojo impassively, though her body was occasionally wracked with tremors. She had never experienced those before. You presumed they were a temporary side effect of what she had undergone and felt even worse for the idea you were about to propose.

“I can take some of the pain. Most of it, even. I think that’s how it works, anyways; I can take on the pain if she helps me. If she lends me her cursed energy, I can heal, too, not just fight,” you said.

“You’re not sure, though,” Gojo said. “There’s a chance you can’t recoup any of it, and she’d be left to deal with everything. You’re saying this based on a chance. A hope.”

“Yes, that’s correct. I can’t be a hundred percent certain,” you said. “It’s risky, but based on my knowledge of vows, it should be as I’m describing.”

“It’s fine,” Tullia said quietly, still refusing to meet your eyes. “Even if you can’t take any of the pain, it’s fine. My blood and my cursed energy and my body and my life, they’re all yours if you’ll have them. This is how I can be useful. I will give you everything I call my own, so that you can heal and fight at the same time.”

“Tullia,” you trailed off helplessly. You didn’t know how to continue the thought. You didn’t want her to suffer like that ever again. You just needed one more try; one more chance, and you would figure it out then. You would understand how to take it from her, how to make sure that she never felt any pain, how to be certain that no one you loved could ever be hurt again on your watch.

“Don’t worry,” she said, and finally she lifted her head and gave you a weak smile, reaching out her hands and clasping your own in between her cold, shaking ones. “This is why we breathe the same. I trust you, Y/N. I’ll do anything for you. Anyways, between the two of us, you’re the one who’s important. You’re the one who can change jujutsu society for the better.”

“Alright, then,” Gojo said, clapping once, an expression of finality instead of glee and enthusiasm as it usually was. “If that’s what you’ve decided, you can begin training with Shoko as soon as she’s back from her business trip. Congratulations, Y/N; it seems like you’re on the path to one day becoming the true pride of the L/N clan. I hope it’s worth it in the end.”

#yuuta x reader #yuuta x y/n #yuuta x you #reader insert #canon au #pomegranate ink #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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smileymoth · 20 days

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I had a dream tonight that Estonia was being invaded by the Irish and a group of people (including me) escaped to the Netherlands bc aparently it was like a 2 hour boat ride??? Likw did.. did Estonia exist inbetween ireland and netherlands? Was estonia where england is??? Wuh.

Anyway i was on the "saving team" and at one point a bunch of my old high school classmates joined in including the guy who i had a "crush" on and at one point i was flirting with him and i was mentally freaking out bc oh my god im not a lesbian (shut up danny) but i was the only woman on my team so i got belittled and hwuwudjxje. Lol. Also um we did get caught by the irish and sent to a camp or sth and we had to behave bc otherwise we would be made into rugs. I helped shear the rugs. I think lil nas x was the one who was shearing the rugs mainly. How do you make a rug out of a person. I dknt know . Also crying wasnt allowed and there were cleaning maids who checked up on us every now and then.

And another guy who was on our team was my last year typo teacher and he um we thought he got eaten by the irish bc he just disappeared??? He was supposed to leave with us but didnt bc he didnt see our groupchat message abt getting on the boat so he hiked to netherlands instead . I dontknow how he hiked over water

Oh and to get into one of our hideaways that got discovered and burnt (it was in saaremaa, where we started off) you had to climb through a badly painted cat door . It was an unpleasant lime green. I think I also ran a cafe at one point and we tried so hard to not show weird videos on the menu (?????) We destroyed the cables eventually bc we kept having to reconnect ir to get news about the invasion.

there were also talks of us being wanted dead bc thats the only way the invasion would end. The warrant was sent out by putin . So we did climate change video postcards where we stated like "i am x y z with this company and we need to srop using fossel fuels" . Thats when i was teamed up w the men and got belittled at

#moth post #dreams #i dont knwo man

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andromerot · 1 year

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u guys would go crazy for ekaterina aconite roskova ok. "i am the anglerfish, the wide-eyed, light-bearing harvester of the unfathomable sea, chimerical monster, woman made god. i am the eater-of-men." / "if it was your choice to make me and then discard me, to mold and replace me with that green-eyed etin, that snake bitch, then it is my choice to take your name and devour it. take your rule and devour it. take your kingdom, and devour it." / "i cured for two slow centuries until my skin was hard and dark and sunken, until my organs, pickled in the curative peatland brine, were small ossified things, like petrified wood washed up on a shoreline. my handmaiden was the woman who washed my body and offered me, kindly, tenderly, to the seeping water, the waiting mother-of-all. my steward was the man who slit my throat." / "i was born. i was. i am. i dig, i breathe, i drink, i dream, i wait, and wait, and wait. until i do not wait. until i rise, and bring with me the fury of the black earth, the poison of the waiting pitch, until i say - i was born to take my father's throne from you, anna" / "i may not have been his daughter, but I could observe. how he behaved when you were here, and when you weren’t. you were a calmness, a respite. [laughs] perhaps it made me envious." / "the school was often cold, often unpleasant, but i had friends, i listened to music - i smoked a cigarette, i drank a can of warm, flat beer, i kissed a girl with hair the color of fox fur - and i was seventeen years old and i did not want to die."

#mabel

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zealouscanonindeer · 8 months

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Battles of past

Synopsis: The past brings out new insecurities, how will they navigate through it?

Category: Slight angst. Fluff.

********

I drummed my fingers against the smooth cold mahogany desk, swirling the office chair round and round. I was bored out of my mind and with nothing to do, I always did tend to get a little fidgety. Cleaning helped calm me down, it worked on multiple fronts, I got the nervous energy out of my system, the house looked nice and tidy and time passed by without notice.

I had finished up the kitchen, the bedroom, bathroom. The only place left was Ethan's home office. I'd never really been in there for long, only when I needed a space to work or something, my limit only had ever stretched to his desk. Not that he would mind but there wasn't any circumstance as such. Even all of my documents were in the bottom most drawer of the vanity.

I grabbed the broom, mop and the rest of my cleaning tools, deciding to deep clean the place. I began with the glass door, scrubbing until I could lightly see my reflection in it. Next was the desk, I arranged all three of his drawers, onto the floor, the tiles squeaking under my feet by the time I was done.

I moved to his cabinet, finishing the upper half before settling down, opening the huge drawer at the bottom. I pulled it as it fought back, the hinges too lazy to move in what must have been years. I yanked it open, dust floating up. I looked at various papers, certificates, report cards, albums, yearbooks. I gasped, it was Ethan's old stuff. I'd never really experienced a truly young Ethan, it always filled me with insecurity, the age gap.

I pulled out the contents slowly, wiping the covers gently with my cleaning cloth, rummaging through the pages. I laughed as I read his elementary report cards, stellar as expected.

He used to be late every time! I couldn't imagine Ethan ever being late, a letter to Alan for sneaking out of class, a school project of My Family, with a photo of Ethan, smiling wholeheartedly with gaps in his tiny teeth, how adorable! Next to him sat Alan, looking so young I almost couldn't recognize him, he sat taller, a faint smile on his lips, eyes shining with pride. His hand resting on Ethan's cute little knee. I moved my eyes to the woman, her striking blue eyes identical to the ones I looked into daily, her dark blonde hair put up in a stylish updo, her poise perfectly regal.

I smiled sadly looking at the date at the bottom of the page, three years more and she would leave,causing a hurt an entire lifetime cannot replace. I moved on pulling out more memories, high school graduation, yearbooks, Ethan with braces, med school.

I chuckled, throwing my head back at a photo of Ethan and Tobias, Tobias kissing Ethan's cheek, the latter scrunching his face in clear amusement.

Next were his med school books, Anatomy, Physiology, pharmac, I blew a raspberry at the book, it had given me all the sleepless nights in the world. I flipped through the pages, his flowing handwriting sprawled through the pages, notes and markings throughout the book. Just as I was about to place it down, two photos slipped through the pages, landing face down on the floor. I picked them up turning them.

"Wo.. Ah" I mumbled. Not even in my dreams could Ethan look so.. young. He looked so...not my Ethan. The second picture sent a slight pang through me, an irrational surge of displeasure at the unknown woman. Ethan's arms against her set my skin ablaze and despite myself I began perusing the extent of her familiarity with Ethan.

It wasn't like we came to each other virgins, I knew he had his past but having a reminder of it is always unpleasant. I pushed everything back into the drawer, getting up and sitting in his chair, my haed swirling with thoughts. At the worst possible moment, I heard his voice call out.

"Penny..Are you done with that infernal cleanliness drive of yours? "

"Hmm" I made an incoherent noise, unable to muster the words.

He peeked in through the door noticing me, smiling as he made his way towards me pulling me flush against him, his arm curving against my waist as I other one dipped down to squeeze my ass. I looked at him, the lines on his face prominent, his eyes mature.

Suddenly the photo flashed in my mind, his embrace exactly the same.

"I need.. I don't..Ethan let go, please, now. " I pushed his arm off, nudging his chest away. He didn't protest, immediately letting go, a confused look descending on his features.

"Hey, you okay, what happened? "

"It's.." I wanted then and there to go on but it seemed silly to let something old linger, deciding against it, I shook my head. " nothing "

He raised one eyebrow at me, " Well, It's not nothing, I know that. "

"It's just.. really silly"

"I love when you're silly. "

"Not like that.. It's, wait I'll show you. "

I crossed over to the cabinet, pulling the drawer and holding out the two photos. He stared at them a beat before meeting my gaze.

"And? "

"Ok, um.. wow I guess.. I don't know how to say this but.... Uh, our age gap has been sort of an insecurity for me.. I just feel like there's so much of you, versions I never saw, people I never met, like I missed so much of your life that I lost this major chunk which remains a mystery, you didn't even know I existed when you were my age.. I want to feel like I know the man I love more than anything in the world but there are these years and years that remain.... undisclosed and I have to accept that.

" I almost feel like an adolescent you wouldn't spare a second glance, that you would be suited with a woman...someone like Harper I guess. Also, your ex there didn't make things better. All this, your past it's...How am I supposed to compete with all this of your past? " I signaled to the drawer, my hand trembling.

"You have nothing to complete with, you are the absolute winner, I chose you and not her or anyone else, cause I never could have lived the way I do now, with you feels so warm and lively, a home, a place where I know I am loved, where I can be vulnerable. You helped heal wounds and scars of a lifetime,you stood by me when I was bitter, arrogant, stubborn beyond reason, everything. You make me the best version of myself. And if you insist on wanting this one" He pointed to the picture.

"I think I have an old shirt. Wait" He held up a finger, walking out to the bedroom. He returned few moments later, wearing a worn out striped shirt, leaving it open along the expanse of his chest.

"Are you wearing my necklace? " It fitted closer to his neck, the gold chain glinting.

"Well, I don't have the black thing.. So I had to improvise. I know I have a past, too much of it, I wanted to get rid of it, move on from so much, anger, grudges, pain and you did that, you guided me to let go, forgive and leave it all behind. The peace you gave me, it beats all of my past in a blink."

I grinned at him. Oh, I never did have to worry about anything, not when I had the best man in this whole damn world.

"Thank you, E"

"Anything for you, Rookie. "

**********

@liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @jerzwriter @rookiemartin @cariantha @peonierose @kyra75 @queencarb @genevievemd @coffeeheartaddict2 @openheartfanfics @heauxplesslydevoted @choicesficwriterscreations

#open heart mc #open heart choices #open heart fanfic #open heart #oph fics #oh fandom #ethan x aspen #aspen milla kallie #dr ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfic #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc

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saddest-clown · 4 months

Text

Nannie’s love…

Warnings: violent actions/thoughts,mental illness(bipolar disorder and ocd),delusions,sexual content ,kidnapping,cursing,and other things

Small Summary: You were a college student trying to live a normal life until you meet a popular pro Hero couple that needs help watching their children while they’re out doing hero work…nothing bad will happen right?

“Y/n and the number one pro hero Deku got nominated the best pro hero couple of the year going on 3 years now!! Mr.Midorya what would you like to say to the people of Japan?!”

“I would just like to say thank you to everyone for the support but one bigger thanks to the love of my life Y/n. Honey? Y/n”

“Y/n”

“Y/n

“Y/n”

“Y/n!”

A slam on the table wakes me up from my day dream. I jolted up to look up at my professor. I look around the room to understand that I wasn’t in a interview with reporters and my hero crush. Just in my classroom…yeah that’s right just my class. With colorful posters with images of brains and other psychology symbols on them,pencils on desks,and shuffling of paper.

“I’m so sorry Sensei..I just got in my head again I guess…”

“Yes yes I understand you’re not the only one spacing out in my class. I know with the new semester has you guys a bit stressed but you have to stay on top of your work and grades. I can promise your future will thank you for all of this..! Now back to what I was explaining.”

I tried my best to listen but I really couldn’t. I had to go visit my doctor after this and I’m a bit worried about the report I’ll give him. My ocd is trying to get better but I’ve been more stressed and anxious its been kinda hard to control. Ive had more contamination ocd for the past couple of weeks..let’s say it’s been a trip. B-but it’s better than the “Checking” phase I had the past few months.

As I continued to pay some kind of attention to my professor the bell rings signaling that it is now time to go home.

“Okay everyone have a good rest of the day and don’t forget to do your homework and study hard my futures.”

I can never understand how someone could be so cheerful all the time. But non the less I actually study and do my homework when he calls us that. Weird huh? Welp that’s how my life is, a lot of things are weird around here..Packing my things into my backpack I walk down the halls of my boring school halls. I don’t really remember how they look.. The first time I saw them they were colorful and vibrant but now they’re… they’re…Empty?I don’t know why my brain plays tricks on me..maybe I should tell my doctor about this. The music of my choice blasts through my ears trying to find something to enjoy in this boring hallway of my hallucinations. I can be aware of my mental illness but sometimes I just choose not to be.

But enough of all that. My name is Y/n L/n. I’m 20 and I study child development and behaviors. I plan to find a way to understand children that are kinda like me. That had to grow up like me.. have the same mind as me. To give them a better life than I did. Also I just love kids. They’re so cute and innocent..aren’t impure unless taunted with. Kids all have different personalities so you’ll never know what to expect. That could either be good or bad but I want to experience both.

It was kinda chilly out. The wind blowing in the trees,blowing leaves, and even my hair. But the weather was never unpleasant. It put me at peace knowing it wasn’t rainy simply because I was outside. Seeing different faces on the strangers getting through their day intrigued me. Like I could make up my own little story about them. The difference their noses ,lips,eyebrows and everything thing else just makes me want to know more about them. But I would never have the guts to speak to people.

I feel as if I’m just not important enough to just talk to people. Like I would ruin someone’s day if I talk to them. So why bother? When I could potentially ruin the loop of our spaghetti. I wouldn’t take that chance. I won’t take that chance..

I walk into my favorite cafe to rest up and study a bit. This little cafe brings me so much joy to see the variety of people that come in. At this time the Lolitas come in with their poofy dresses and petticoats.I would love to dress like that. I’ve made plans to go and buy some clothing but have been too rapped up school and such. I’ve been wanting to rent an apartment and not live with my grandparents but they don’t think I can handle it. Everyday I try to prove to them that I can in fact take control over my own life. Most people with the mental illness I have don’t even take their medication or go see a fucking doctor for crying out loud!? But they just can’t seem to trust me… with anything. Not even a relationship

*Ding*

I’ve never really been interested in who walks into the door but something was itching me to look up.. and

Oh My God

I don’t know if my brain is playing tricks in me b-but it’s him!! Walking into my favorite cafe. This has to be a dream how could this be happening right now!? Multiple people run in the cafe begging him to sign the object they pledged in his face. Still in all this chaos he still is so kind to people. He signs everything and even took pictures with everyone free of charge too!!

Deku has always been my crush to the time he was still in UA competing in the sports festival. All the merch they came out with I would always have my grandparents to buy it. Hoodies,posters,plushes, pajamas, action figures,beanies,pillowcases… let’s just say I had a hobby.

I just simply watch as women and the press bombard him with questions of all sorts. Usually he answers them….but this time he isn’t?

Wait what is he pointing at-…..

He’s making a path way for his wife… Ochako Uraraka. The pain in my ass. She’s the reason I’m a mopey bitch. All because she stole my destiny,my life… I was supposed to bear is children be the love of his life. It’s not fair. I’m way more attractive that her,hell she’s even lost the Top Hero Model show more than 5 times. She’s obviously manipulating him to stay with her bummy ass

He leads a path for her and their beautiful children away from the press. They’re are annoying sometimes so invasive to people’s privacy it’s a shame. Even I can tell people’s boundaries. I would never be that obsessed.

He goes to order things for them it seems. Surprisingly the press leaves that’s new. Usually they bitch about that being their job and all that bs.

Wait holy shit the kids are coming to sit to the table literally write next to mine..are they going to sit over here?! I can’t handle that oh my goodness I need to get the hell out of here..

“Excuse me miss but I noticed you here all alone.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know dats a bit weird of me but my daddy says to never leave anyone behind and so I decided to be a hero today and help you out.”

That brought a smile out of me. Seeing a child so eager to help a stranger. Not thinking of all the dangers he could encounter. Oh how the real world is going to eat him alive.

“Well thank you kind sir. I appreciate your kind gesture but don’t you think your mommy and daddy would prefer if you stay with them hm?”

I get up out of my seat and bend down to get a better view of his beautiful freckled face. He looks just like his dad maybe he would grow up to look better than him.

“Oh!! I forgot about those two. They’re usually too busy worrying about my little brother Inase.”

“Oh? Why is that little one. Matter of fact take a seat next to me. Vent a bit.”

“Oh thank you umm well my little brother can’t talk much. Like I can.”

“Really how old are the both of you?”

“I’m 5!!While he’s 3,but the thing is when I was three I could speak lots! Maybe they weren’t actually words but I was trying!!”

This is kid is actually really funny. I could see a little smile on his face when he realized his little joke made me laugh.

“That’s very nice little one,but maybe your brother just isn’t ready to start talking eh?”

“I know but it’s not very fair!! I started talking wayyy before him but he gets all the attention because he can’t talk. It’s wild and ridiculous if you ask me!”

I swear this kid has me in tears. I’ve never been around a child that expressive with a stranger before maybe because the lack of attention from his parents. Hmm this could be an opportunity for me to get more information.

“Hey what was your name again little one?”

“Oh yeah,pfft how rude of me. My name is Isaku Midoriya!! What’s yours?”

“Wow that’s an amazing name Isaku. My name is y/n l/n. But most of my friends call me pearl.”

“Wait.. I’m one of your friends?!”

I nod my head filling the child with excitement.

“THATS SO COOL!! I HAVE A NEW FRIEND YAYYY.”

I laugh at the child’s amusement until we heard foot steps coming our way. Oh lord here comes the devil women herself.

“Oh my gosh honey we were worried sick about you!! What did we tell you about wondering around without us!!”

“Moooooom I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was hanging out with my friend like you and daddy do all the time.”

“Isaku don’t argue back with your mother..just go wait in the car you two I’ll be right in with all of you.”

“Ughhhh whatever.BYEE PEARL I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOOOOON.”

I wave back at the small boy with a smile on my face while his mom took him away to sit in the car with his younger brother.

Now it was just me and Deku. Alone

“I’m so so so sorry about my son. He gets too comfortable with people. We try to tell him all the time that bad people exist but he never seems to understand that.”

“Oh no he’s fine. Haha umm yeah I totally understand. As someone who studies child development and behaviors I know how you feel.”

Damn was that too much information about myself? Fuck! I could have ruined it for my first impression.

“Oh? That’s very cool! So you know a lot about children am I correct?”

“Yeah ofcourse. Children are our future. They’re fundamental to how humanity continues when we die. And by the looks of everything not to but into your life but he was telling me some things that don’t look too great.”

He signs and rolls his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry I know it looks bad but I promise we’re trying our best. With his younger brother being so different than him when he was his age you know?”

“Yeah I understand. What differences do they have if you don’t mine me asking?”

“Well Inase doesn’t speak or really verbally communicate with people or us for that matter. He’s very antisocial and he can’t ever seem to understand a lot of emotions we feel.”

“Oh so he’s autistic.”

“Excuse me?”

“Shit I apologize, I meant that those signs are of autism. Not to diagnose your child because that’s not my job but studying children a lot of kids who experience the things you’ve been describing are symptoms or signs of autism. Maybe get him checked by a doctor. That could explain a lot of things.”

“Wow uh you’re good at what you do I’ve never thought of that before. Thank you truthfully for your perspective on this.”

“No problem,it is what I wanna do when I graduate.Could I suggest you something else too?”

“Ofcourse you’ve helped me out already take a crack at it!”

“Sooo little Insaku believes you two don’t pay enough attention to him and if you don’t know that can lead him into some..dark places.Also with Inase maybe being a child with special needs it can get hard for him knowing you two have hero work. Maybe investing in a babysitter or nanny could help you with some of your problems.”

“Wow I’ve never thought of that! Thank you Pearl was it? Maybe you would be a good nanny for my sons. Since Insaku already likes you and you know study child behavior for crying out loud.”

“Awww! I would be honored to watch your beautiful babies! But wouldn’t you need to get a day so with your wife? I wouldn’t want to just jump into you guys life without a warming or agreement.”

“Yeah that’s understandable.Here just write your number down here on this napkin and I’ll text you if my wife comes to a decision.”

I write my number down and try to push down the blush building up on my face. I’m very nervous but surprisingly pulling this off.

“Well it was nice talking to you Miss Pearl. I’ll text you when we come to a decision. See you soon.”

I wave him goodbye as he goes out to his car and drives away. Talking to him surely speed up the time. It’s now time for my doctor’s visit.

Walking to the office really has me thinking about the conversation I just had with my fucking childhood crush. The amount of chemistry we had is incredible.

I’ve never wanted to keep a conversation going that long ever. Not even with my doctor. I hope that Ochako gives me a chance and thinks about her kids.

I’m doing this for the children only ofcourse. I would never let a little crush I had over the years get in the way of my learning opportunities.

The smell of cleaning supplies hirs my nose. Thankfully my office smells good while some are ehh?

“Oh hello Ms.L/n! You’re here right on time. The doctor is waiting for you in the back. In your usual room.”

I nod my head at the desk woman. I’ve never asked her name before. Never really was interested still isn’t to this day to be completely honest.

Surprisingly he’s already here waiting for me.

“Why hello Ms.L/n,take a seat so we can get started.”

I sit down and look him in his eye.

“So how have your day been going so far today.”

“Well it was weird at first.”

“How so? Please do explain.”

“Well when my class was over and I was walking down the halls all the colors had faded from the walls. But then I meet my hero crush today! We had an amazing conversation. I might become a nanny for them!”

“Well look at you,finally getting out of your shell. But on the other hand has your “checking” phase go away yet with the new medication we’ve given you.”

“Oh yeah it has gone away but… I’ve had more “contamination” attacks recently. I’ve burned my hands like 5 times yesterday.”

“That’s good to know. Now we’re gonna prescribe you with some medicine to help with that. Okay and please missy think back to our method for understanding reality.”

“Yes sir, is that all we have to discuss here?”

“Umm yes it is, well you know the drill if you have any bad thoughts about anything give me a call. Make sure to take your medication and you’ll be fine.”

We both stand up ready to end the session. They’re normally pretty good. When I was younger they were way worse. I’ve improved since then.

“Oh yeah! I forgot, your grandma called me last week and told me that you made comments about wanting to see a plastic surgeon to get a breast lift. Are you still interested in that?”

“Oh I completely forgot about that. Umm yeah that was be nice I guess. I’ve just been a little insecure about my boobs lately I guess? I like the size of them they’re pretty but they’re just really droopy.”

“Well that isn’t uncommon dear. Your 20 years old your body is changing. Since you are interested ik text you my friends number. He’s a great plastic surgeon.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

“Of course nothings to hard for my favorite patient. Have a nice rest of the day.”

I waved at him and the desk lady. It’s crazy because I didn’t remember that honestly. Some people would get pretty upset at me for being insecure about my body since I’m built like a Tabe Koji character as some men have said. I didn’t know who he was at first until I looked him up and I can confirm I do look a lot like his female characters. But I’ve never been interested in fucking old men.

The train has always been my weakness. I’ve always been afraid to be on there on my own. The groping culture and just being around tons of people scare me a little. Especially the groping thing. I never really know if it’s real or not. So if I was to report them they would look at my mental illness and not believe me.

Breathe in and breathe out. That’s all I can do and pray that someone kind will let me sit in a seat. Or I can fake being pregnant to get a seat. I’m not that cruel what if an actual woman needs it.

I have to get over it the train is starting already. What song should I choose.. Oh well never mind Dark Red by Steve Lacy is already playing..

It’s not going that bad so far. Mostly women are around me and not so many men. Thankfully… Wait people are shuffling oh shit it’s already started… some poor unfortunate soul had already got groped.

I’ve never been the person to be like “as long as it’s not me” but in these situations that’s all that runs through my head.

Only a few more stops left… things are going good! No need to assume everything that’s gonna happen.

…huffing

Huffing dead in my ear. Like someone has just ran a marathon.

I can’t seem to look back I’m smushed between… no t-this can’t be happening right now. Everything was good!? Please god no! Not today every thing was going so well?!

Hands.. sweaty ones grip my waist. I can’t control my shuddering. Everytime I get on this damn train it’s a perv on here.

I feel it. A harsh grab of my chest.

“Yo get your filthy hands off my girlfriend you fucking bastard.”

“H-huh man I’m not doing anything I-I promise.”

“Yeah yeah get the fuck away from her now.”

The man rushes to get off at stop.. This is the first time someone has stopped a man from doing this. Interesting,I felt something deep inside be from the man’s raspy deep voice and dangerous approach. It was..sexy

“Thank you sir. Really I never expected anyone to help me really..”

“Whatever, You just looked really disturbed. It was cute kind erotic. You look like a women from the hentai I watch so I thought if someone’s gonna make you look like that I’ll be me.”

That took me by surprise

“Oh? What’s your name hero?”

“Oh honey I’m far from hero. But the names Shigaraki.”

*Ding*

The train stopped. It was my time to leave. That was interesting.. No one is actually here. Well not the man I was having a flashback of.

But however the man groping me was there. Yanking my shoulder from him.

“I hope I got your dick hard sir.”

Some men disgust me to the fullest. What if I was a high school girl? Not like they would give a damn. But that flashback… eh must been a fake scenario I have those all the time.

—————————————————————————

Time skip 15 minutes walking to your apartment..

—————————————

Ah the smell of tea and cakes. That’s a good sign. My grandparents weren’t here to terrorize me like they always do. Great cause I need a nice hot shower.

Stripping out of me clothes. I turn on my shower. Thankfully I make enough money from disability to have a nice apartment that has a nice shower. It has so many different shower options it’s nice.

Feeling the hot water on my bare skin has me thinking back to the conversation me and Deku had..

Holy shit I’ve never wanted to touch myself to him since high school. I’ve never felt this way in… so long.

Thinking back to his facial expressions he made throughout our conversation. Oh his praise,

“Ughhh- ohh my godddd Deku I need you r-right now.”

He’s such a good dad. He trusts a stranger he meet at a cafe to watch over his kids. Fuck that’s so hot..

Coming to my high I released.

“Good get a grip Y/n.”

Drying my hair and starting my excessive skincare routine a ping on my phone catches me attention.

“Hey! Pearl me and my wife have come to a conclusion. We both would love to have you watch our kids we just want to do a little sit down and talk and you can get started! We’ll talk about the hours and payments tomorrow as well. See you then!”

（╹◡╹）♡

…

OMGGG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING ON TMBLR AND IM VERY EXCITED TO FINISH THIS I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS~~

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