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#and i don't mean this in any negative way towards those people

mrmallard · 1 month

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I've been seeing people bring up JonTron a lot lately, and man I don't even wanna know why he's coming back up. Get that guy outta my life.

Dude was a huge disappointment when he went all in on the white nationalist horseshit. I thought he was funny when I was younger, and I grew up coached in that sort of edgy internet humour he did that primed a lot of people for the radical political discourse that would emerge in the 2010's. It's only through sheer fucking luck and having the right people in my life in the right time that I didn't get roped into that sort of horseshit.

The warning signs were definitely there, but I didn't have the context I needed or the fully realised, crystallised values I hold today to reflect on them the way I would now - the former built up over time, and I feel like the latter began to really form in the heat around the time of that sort of cultural chokepoint in my sphere of influence that started with gamergate and escalated through 2016 and beyond.

It really took JonTron saying "poor uncivilized immigrants are invading America and breeding out the civilized americans through sheer numbers", directly espousing neo-nazi sentiment while it was on the rise, for me to see how much he genuinely sucked as a person. He was getting there with his sense of humor, but you never really expect a person you held in any sort of regard to go "mask off" and just start saying crazy bigoted shit like that, y'know. Whenever I think of JonTron, I feel annoyed and ashamed.

I don't want to know why he's getting any sort of continued legacy, good or bad. I just want that shithead out of my life.

#messyposting #toxicposting #also just as a footnote #i went from shithead chud gamer humor that emphasized pushing the barrier of what was acceptable to say to/about other people #to like. the height of social justice posting on tumblr. a lot of which skirted WAY TOO FUCKING HARD towards like proto-terf shit #like I feel like I saw the schism that led to a broader fourth wave of feminism and either birthed or mainstreamed the terf movement #as it was happening #i was in sex negative places. i was in places where people were saying that penises have been one of the nost violent weapons in history #and I'm saying this to emphasize that while yeah I was a fucking shitbird kid who got extremely fucking lucky not to end up going bad #I arguably came just as close to disaster on tumblr. and let me tell you there was fucking PRESSURE to conform on tumblr #again - right time right place. like I'm not perfect by any means. I'm angry and vindictive in my own ways #and god knows I'm self-righteous #but I really turned out a lot better than I could have been. either as a gamergater dickhead or a reactionary terf #rejecting intersectionality and enforcing strict boxes for people to exist in - stomping on people's hands if they tried to crawl out #i don't think I would have gone whole hog on the second one. i was lucky enough to notice the dissonance and take a break for long enough #to solidify my own personal values on my own time #i think I was much more at risk of beng lured into gamergate shit and having my innate anger and raged used to ensnare me in that #but the simple fact is that at different points of my like I was skirting both of those things. i was adjacent #and it's through nothing less than god's good fucking graces that I cane out the other side as relatively decent as I have #(I'm invoking god a lot but like. at best I'm agnostic and I lean atheist. it's moreso to emphasize the weight of what I'm trying to say)

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seresinhangmanjake · 6 months

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The One I Want: Part 4

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader

Summary: You're new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.

Notes/Warnings: cursing, maybe. I don't think anything else. Sorry if there are typos.

Words: 1874

The One I Want Masterlist

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“Are you excited?” Jake asks as he hands you a cup of coffee.

You take a sip and let the liquid run down your throat, then pull the cup away from your face to examine it. Your eyes dart from the caramel-colored drink to your roommate and back. He keeps getting it right, and you don’t know how. It’s as if you wrote the exact measurements of the contents of your usual coffee order on a sticky note and slapped it on the fridge so he had no choice but to memorize it.

“Thank you,” you say. “And, yea…I guess so. It’ll be nice to have a reason to get out every day, but I have a feeling I'll be bored sitting around.” Which you’re perfectly fine with. A job is a job in your mind, and stumbling upon the gift shop across from the beach was convenient for both hirer and hiree. But Jake doesn’t need to know just how unfeeling you are toward your new job. You wouldn’t put it past him to try to unnecessarily cheer you up.

He’s done it a lot. At any hint of distress, you find him beside you. And as someone who finds themself lost in thoughts that allow anxiety or stress or pain to seep onto their face, it means Jake Seresin is often close. Which also means you are constantly at war with what your mind is willing to accept.

There’s the suspicious part consuming most of your mind, telling you that people—men like Jake, especially—don’t go out of their way. Not for someone like you. But another itty bitty piece of your mind wants to believe Jake truly is this nice and caring. You wouldn’t hate to have that kindness in your life be a permanent fixture.

Since you moved in you can’t deny that you rise each morning a little less worried about what the day will hit you with. And you know it’s Jake who has fueled that—indirectly, even. He has yet to comment on you or your body or your clothes or what you eat. Neither positively nor negatively. Though you do catch him staring from time to time, whatever he is thinking doesn’t leave his mouth, which is far more restraint than others have shown in the past.

Jake shoves his hands into his sweatpants pockets and shrugs. “We usually take an hour for lunch. I could always stop by.”

“And do what?” You can’t hold back your snort, nor can you conceal the upturned tick of your lips. Your first smile of the day, light as it is, and Jake’s eyes fix on your mouth until you say, “Are you overdue for a new keychain or cheap beach snow globe?”

“I might be. Those snow globes are great,” he says with a grin, endearingly crooked. “You know, you shake ‘em around; snow goes all over the place.”

“Yes, I’m aware of how they work.”

“Well then you understand why I might want a new one,” he sasses, all but sticking his tongue out like a child.

You hum to hold back your laugh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing you’ve started to find him funny in the last few weeks. Something tells you his ego doesn’t need it. Then, with your hand extended you pass him the mug and make your way toward the door to grab your purse off the nearby hook. “I’ll try to remember that. Thanks for the coffee.”

You are almost out the door, out of his sight and so close to gaining the distance you’ve decided you need from him, when he calls out to you. “Hey, do you want me to pick you up at the end of your shift?”

The smile you’d finally let free from his earlier joke falls, and you swallow hard, suddenly wishing you’d had the money to keep the rental car you used to get yourself from one state to the next. Though you’ll have hours away from him for the day, and the days to come, Jake coming to get you when you’re likely drained from boredom will instantly ruin the mental fortitude you’re trying to regain.

You’d never speak it into existence, but your new job benefits you in more ways than one. After coming up short on last month's rent, you’ll finally be able to put a dent in the money you owe him—because you are paying him even though he doesn’t ask for it—but you were also banking on the separation giving you the chance to get your thoughts and pulse under control.

Anticipation has wormed its way into your daily routine lately. You wake. Wash face. Brush teeth. Dress. Think of Jake. Scold yourself for thinking of Jake. Itch to see him, for reasons you’d rather not focus on. Get pissed for the rapid beating of your heart.

You don’t need it. Not the unexpected thoughts, not the chaos of your pulse, not the disappointment in yourself for failing to learn from previous experiences. Thinking of him too often will fuck things up and leave you worrying about much more than just Jake or his friends or the odd stranger paralyzing you from a sudden comment or snide remark on how you look. Before you know it, you’ll be digging into the front pocket of your suitcase for the final two notecards and tossing a coin.

“It’s only a mile-long walk,” you say, praying the unsteadiness of your voice isn’t detectable through the wall segmenting hallway from kitchen.

“So?”

You sigh. Definitely not the answer you wanted. You don’t know how to respond. There’s no excuse on the tip of your tongue, so you settle on, “Have a good day, Jake. Go save the country or something.”

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You were spot on with that boredom prediction. Hours have passed and you’ve been forced to fill the time with menial tasks that might just be shrinking a few brain cells. Examining every item in the shop, counting every item in the shop, recounting the little squishy sea critter toys after a group of preteen girls lingered too long in that aisle. As someone so used to being on the move, each minute is slowly eating away you.

With limited options, there are opportunities to let your mind wander and, eventually, you drift into your memories. When the urge to stop them arises, you’re shocked that you kick it back. And before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re grabbing a pocket-sized navy-colored notebook and a pen with a plastic seashell for a cap.

A self-help book you’d skimmed a year prior suggested writing things down to process trauma and grief. The author-slash-therapist didn’t ask for well-detailed memories and feelings, but instead, a quick scribbling of the first things that come to mind. Despite how simple the task seemed, you hadn’t considered it. It seemed silly to relive the pain, to rip open wounds. Even poorly stitched wounds, you won’t deny, that left ragged and raised scars. You’d just been content with no longer bleeding.

But recently, you’ve neglected a pulling; a string threaded and knotted into your heart with a force trying to tug it free from the confines of your chest. Though you know that would only serve one unenticing purpose, to demand you examine the organ and assess the damage time has worn into it, you don’t reconsider flipping open the cover of the notebook.

With a free mind, you write down names, places, and towns. You write down words that were thrown at you. You write down the first time someone attacked your most vulnerable parts. And the things said and done that drove you out of one location and onto the next. You write until pages of white are filled with what could only be compared to an insane person's pastime. You write until another customer comes in just as the sun begins to fade.

You feel her presence before you look up from the notebook in your lap, and when you finally do, you internally flinch at the sight.

The pin-straight yellow strands of her hair reach a few inches below her shoulders, her lips are coated in bright red, and her eyes are enhanced with heavy dark shadow tones. She is tits shoved together, pushing cleavage out the low V of her camisole, and tight ass filling out tighter, dangerously short, shorts, and tiny waist a man could wrap his hands around and touch fingertips. She’s everything you avoid, and she pays you no mind as she makes her way to the mugs at the back corner of the store before heading for the t-shirts.

It’s obvious she entered with a mission when you find her not one minute later standing in front of you and setting the items on the counter. As you scan and wrap the mug and place it in the bag with the shirt, you don’t miss the similar words written across both cheap gifts. My Boyfriend is a Naval Aviator flows in cursive script over the chest of the shirt. My Girlfriend F*cks a Naval Aviator curves with the rounded shape of the mug.

You wonder if that boyfriend is one of Jake’s friends. Rooster does have a girlfriend and you have no way of knowing if this woman is his type. You kind of hope she isn’t.

“It’s sixteen dollars even,” you mutter.

She reaches into her cami and pulls out a twenty, slamming it down on the glass countertop that doubles as a display case for the slightly more expensive, yet still cheap, merchandise. The leftover four dollars are then shoved back between her push-up bra and breast. The bag is ripped from your hand and she promptly exits.

That’s one way to end a first day, you think. At least it was one more thing to do with your time. Annoying kids, a notebook you’re not going to dare touch for a few days, and a woman with underlying anger issues who reminds you too much of your past. You deflate as you realize tomorrow is not likely to end up nearly as eventful.

Closing the shop is, thankfully, a quick process, because you’d like to make it back to the apartment before the moon and stars become your main light source. Walking home in the dark doesn’t suit you but you weren’t about to accept Jake’s offer knowing it likely wouldn’t stop there. First he’ll be picking you up, then it’ll develop into him dropping you off, then you’ll be hanging out with him and his friends every weekend. And then what? What good will any of that do you?

As it turns out, though, you don’t have a choice.

Once the building door is shut and locked, you turn to find a black truck pulling up beside you. Your heart misses its next beat as fear grips you, but then you recognize the vehicle. The passenger window rolls down to reveal sandy blond hair, then green eyes, then sharp nose, then wide grin.

“You didn’t actually say no,” Jake says.

Fuck.

With a sigh and a roll of your eyes, you step closer, wrap your fingers around the car door handle, and pull.

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A/N: ended up having to do something tonight, so this part came a little early. I hope you liked it :)

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @rogersbarnesxx @nani-kenobi @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @cehenyne @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @entertainmentgal8 @hookslove1592 @whoeverineedtobe @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06 @cherrycolas-things @turtle-in-a-tornado @have-a-nice-day-k @inkandarsenic @kidd3ath

#jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #top gun maverick #jake seresin fic #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin fic #top gun #top gun hangman #jake hangman seresin x y/n #jake seresin x plus size!reader #tgm #tgm fic #jake seresin fluff #jake seresin angst #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin fanfic

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starlithumanity · 6 months

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I don't even know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that all of Ed's violence is a) anti-imperial, b) protective against direct repeated threats to himself and his loved ones, or c) self-destructive in the hopes someone will respond by killing him during his suicidal spiral. (That last example is fairly indirect and performative and comes from a place of severe nihilistic suffering.)

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the violence is triggering and traumatic and exhausting for Ed, and that he is desperate for a chance to live differently but has also never known any other life. Stede gave him the one true glimpse he's had of something gentler! Ed didn't fully know how fucked up his life was before because that was normal to him. That's what growing up traumatized does to you.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed that the suicidal spiral is a result of Ed's circumstances: of Ed being threatened by Izzy after Izzy repeatedly found ways to force Ed back towards the violent life Ed wants so much to escape, of Ed losing his one glimpse at safety and happiness through Stede and now having to face the darkness knowing he nearly found something different, of Ed feeling like the only way he can survive in this world is by being an "unlovable" monster he hates--and then he's confronted by Izzy telling him he's still not getting it right. Of course Ed gives up then.

I don't know what you can say to the people who somehow missed the show's themes about how much harm is caused by toxic masculinity and by masking your true self and by cultures founded on trauma and self-hate and burnout. (You do see the burnout in Ed, yeah?)

I do get why some people might not understand the complexities of Ed's relationship with Izzy--how codependent and enmeshed their identities are--or the layers of symbolism that position Izzy in the story as a metaphor for traditional pirate culture and its harmful impact. (Which is particularly triggering for Ed on a daddy issues level because that's his original trauma.) If you understand those things, the unique nature of the physical harm Ed does to Izzy in this story makes even more sense.

Ed also frequently communicates through metaphor himself. Him cutting off Izzy's toes is not only a show trying to convince Izzy he's playing Blackbeard right and not only a response to Izzy repeatedly threatening Stede/continuing to threaten Ed, but also is meant to physically represent the harm that Izzy has done emotionally to Ed. Ed is communicating to Izzy the only way he knows how anymore: "See how it feels to be forced to lose parts of yourself? Stede was a part of me. My hopes of softness and joy were a part of me. You cut those off too."

There is so much evidence against the thought that Ed is some irredemable, monstrous lover of violence who will hurt Stede someday. Stede would have to repeatedly and directly threaten someone else Ed loves first (which Stede won't do), and even then, Ed would really have to fight with himself.

It's not his nature, y'all, and I'm so frustrated that some people keep insisting it is. I'm frustrated about what that says about people's ability to empathize and consider reasons for or contexts behind behaviors--particularly when the character in question is an openly queer and likely neurodivergent indigenous man. Is it so hard to have compassion and forgiveness for him? Please don't get stuck in that punitive, dehumanizing mindset.

Redemption is so important, which is why I appreciate that Izzy gets a growth arc once he stops centering his entire identity on the Blackbeard persona and clinging to toxic masculinity. (Seeing Stede's impact, how different things could be, vs. the harm caused by the traditional ways, changes Izzy too!) Izzy's time, as a side character and mentor figure and piracy metaphor, does end, but first he gets to live with more meaning and unlearn many of the negative behaviors. That's the goal, right? To move forward.

#i try to avoid negative discourse but damn guys #edward teach #our flag means death #izzy hands #stede bonnet #my stuff

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ambermotta · 6 months

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Cleansing Basics – Crash Course

What is cleansing? When should I do it? How do I do it?

These are some of the questions I'll be tackling today. I hope this post will be useful to those who are not quite familiar with how to cleanse and why it's important for any witch or pagan practice!

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Long post based on my experience and research. Meant to be informative. I don't claim to know the absolute truth.

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What is cleansing?

Cleansing is clearing away energy from someone, something or somewhere.

When should I cleanse?

Whenever you need to clear away energy.

Personal opinion: you should cleanse yourself and your house at least weekly.

It is generally recommended that you periodically cleanse magical items and cleanse before and after any type of magical/ spiritual work. Cleansing before contacting deities (even if it's just prayer) is also considered "standard protocol" in some cultures, like in Hellenic paganism and Shintoism.

From my personal experience I do feel I can connect better with spiritual beings when I cleanse beforehand, but I believe my emotional state has a bigger influence on the matter. Cleansing generally calms me down too so –

Why should I cleanse?

The number one reason you'll see cleansing everywhere is because it is a way to help get rid of excess negative energy.

I'm not going to say you can clear away all of it because as living humans, we are constantly emanating energy and a lot of times it is "negative" energy. Which is okay, it's part of being alive. Plus, there are other factors that come into play.

However, cleansing often can help you stay in touch with spirituality and ease your mind since you'll be getting rid of excess (and oftentimes unwated) energy.

Cleansing also comes into play when you want to clear away any other kind of energy, for example, when you get a new magical tool (such as a tarot deck) or finish a magical working. You don't necessarily want the energy that was on that object or that spell sticking to you all day, you know?

How to prepare for cleansing?

First of all, gather your stuff. Gather everything you need and try to avoid interruptions.

I personally recommend you always do a physical cleaning up of whatever you are going to cleanse. Tidy up your house, take a shower, and clean your magical items (if possible).

Dirt and clutter feel bad, and it can distract the mind. Starting your cleansing in the physical plane can definitely make it more powerful in the astral too.

How do I cleanse?

Most cultures/religions/spiritual practices have their own way of doing things (ex: hellenic pagans have khernips), so first of all, do your research! And respect the fact that some things are out of your reach.

There are A LOT of techniques you can use to cleanse that are not particularly tied to a single culture and that can be done in many different ways. I'll quickly go through some of them, but it is by no means an extensive list.

Cleansing with the 4 elements:

Earth: I've mainly seen this in two ways, which are sending energy to the earth (something like grounding) and burrying objects.

Fire: commonly used together with air in smoke cleansing. There's also energy work that pulls energy and sends it towards the fire for cleansing (either a candle, a bonfire, or a visualization flame)

Water: mostly used for cleansing yourself or objects. It can be through herb baths and showers, rain/sea/river water, salt water, or sacred waters. For cleansing spaces, there are things such as water spray bottles and floor washes (though I've only seen this one being used in hoodoo). Careful with objects, some may not be resistant to water.

Air: generally the most common for cleansing spaces or people. Usually achieved by lighting up incense or herbs with cleansing properties and using the smoke to cleanse.

Sidenote: burning a herbs ≠ from smudging. Smudging is a native american practice that is closed to their people. Don't smudge, don't call some herb-burning smudging. It's not the same thing. Stick with what's appropriate for your culture.

Sun and moon: using sunlight or moonlight to cleanse (and often charge) yourself or objects. Always make sure what you are cleansing can actually be left in the sun and handle weather.

Crystals: Some crystals have cleansing properties, usually back ones (onyx, obsidian, black tourmaline), smoky quartz, and selenite, to name a few. Keep in mind that they usually need to be cleansed periodically, too.

Sound: Praying, chanting, singing, music, and using bells or drums are some ways you can use sound to cleanse.

Visualization: There are many techniques used for cleansing this way. While it can be effective, it is definitely not for everyone as a lot of people will find that using tools is easier and more consistent. Visualization requires some practice and a lot of focus.

What to do after cleansing?

That depends on your objective.

If you are cleansing a space, such as your home, and you want to keep it "clean" for longer, you can cast a protection spell.

If you are cleansing yourself or an object, you may want to do a Charging of some sort. When you cleanse, you are getting something out, which opens up space for the new, so you can use this as an opportunity to "fill in" with another type of energy.

Conclusion

Cleansing is very versatile and unique to each practice. There are a lot of things you can do that are fairly neutral, but in general, cleansing always has the same purpose and is done in a similar fashion.

Knowing what your tradition (if you have one) usually does to cleanse objects, people, and places can be very enriching, so do your research!

Thank you for reading!

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guardian5tiger3 · 4 months

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Career/money Pick a Picture Tarot Reading

1. 2. 3.

Group 1

I feel that for you guys there's some connection to your heart here, some of you need to look in your heart. If you are not fully sure what you want to do exactly, this is definitely what you can do to help find the answers to that. Healing something within your heart may be needed if you do not know right now by looking within. So once your heart is healed you will feel there what you desire most. I'm picking up on the feeling of freedom. For some of you this has to do with travel. Maybe you want to read the second pile as well. I'm getting something about your families, and for someone something about a dog (s). Maybe for some of you, you have worries but you need to be honest with yourself and find that your priorities in your heart may be towards what you truly want to go do, and that it will be ok if you go forward with that. You guys will be happy. I want to tell you for those that may be worried about leaving anyone behind or being homesick, you will enjoy your present moment wherever you may find yourself, and that distance can grow fondness. I understand though, feeling you only have so much time on the topic of mortality. I have faith you all will figure it out, cause all I get now is the greatest feeling once your heart shows you clearly and you feel what it is you should go for, and it is so much love and freedom in it. Beautiful. Take your time though, this seems like a vague prediction in a sense, as destiny will be what it will be. Peace

Group 2.

You as a group seem that you really want advice and are really just wanting to take in anything I can give you all right now...you guys may be kind of guarded right now , mainly getting energetically. You guys have a big purpose, each one of you. Yes an airplane may *actually be significant. Some of you know then of course, one of you, it's an actually. And you don't even know it yet. I saw a little clock. So , with that I'm getting time of course. And right now it may be a matter of relying on that. I'm getting a lot about a spiritual like journey, but we don't have to put it that way, a journey of self discovery , self transformation. It's heavy, but I don't mean that in a negative sense. I mean, it's a deep thing you all are experiencing in what this is that we call life, your lives. A concept that seems to come into play with you guys and your journeys in life and what you will end up doing or for a few already doing, maybe just starting. If so you're young in this. The concept is about duality;within yourselves. Balancing your yin and yangs. You seem naturally very balanced people, in your spirits. I feel this is a reminder for some of you, to make sure you're not giving too much to the "good", "light" side, it's perfect when there is complete balance of the two opposites and embracing the dark side is not negative, it's necessary for both to prosper, and it is a positive thing. Both dark and light are naturally positive , like, good , but both can have bad qualities. When good is too much that is bad, kind of plain, can be too bright if you understand what I'm saying, hopefully. I'm getting something like spirit animals are significant, and wisdom. For a majority of you when it comes to career things, your soulmate or forever person is somehow involved/ going to be involved. I would just stay open to that so that things may go smoother if so. I'm not supposed to specify any further on that for whatever reason.

For right now, you're being guided, and do what you can and accept what you cannot do and know for now. It will come to you. You're on a specific path, trust that. And trust yourself. Every move you decide to make is for a reason, and I see that you will not fall. For any possible financial struggle , it's all for a reason, but maybe so to sympathize with other people in the world, for one. It may be so for a few of you to learn to ask for help and or to think further outside the box, the box being your mind and as far as it is expanded thus far. But you'll be okay. Peace and love.

Group 3.

You all may work with other people. I'm really picking up on desert vibes somehow for some reason,... Initially I picked up on a camel, actually. Maybe some of you have something to do with Egypt specifically too... Maybe you'll travel one day, maybe some of you live there, Im not sure but you'll know cause that's kinda specific... I'm also getting an oven , some of you have considered baking? Someone's family is involved already in some culinary business..

*side note, some of you aren't even meant to work. If you feel that, boom. There's your message. Go backpacking or just trust the universe on a level to work it out. Hell you can get an RV or something and go to a national forest and they'll let you stay there free if you help out working there. Nature rules! You'll figure it out.

You guys have some dope ancestry, just saying, I guess.. maybe you don't know and would be surprised about far back who was what from where I don't know. Anyway, If you have family who would hire you or help you get hired, that's nice and I'm supposed to tell you all that you should take any offer for that and basically give whatever it may be a try, but mainly you should be honest with yourself, it's OK if it isn't for you, it's OK if you love it or it just works and you stick to that. You know, I would say for instance some famous people have kids and they may want to hand down a legacy or business to their children, but what a shame if the child doesn't want that and yet some young person unrelated would love that to happen to them, if that makes sense. We're all children and family on this earth and there's no need for strict boundaries when it comes to bloodlines like that . Be true to yourself. Well if it's just you getting help to be hired, it's alright if you end up quitting or whatever even if for some of you feel like you'll be resented ,screw it don't live your life for anyone but yourself. Unless you have kids I guess... But still!.

Overall message for this group, if nothing else, let yourself be free.

#free tarot readings #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #tarot reading #tarot pac #pac tarot #pick a group #tarot #oracle

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black-lake · 2 years

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astro observations 4

Hi besties,

So we got to the pluto post already? Ik y'all be thrilled for this. Everyone has a secret crush on pluto so let’s goo. 😎

I know that much of this post is advice, but I really felt the need to share what I learned too in hope it helps someone out there. You guys asked so many questions I tried to answer them here. If I don't then I don't have much experience and knowledge about it, but you're making me learn about it. ♥︎

Highlights: sun, ascendant, MC, scorpio, aries, pluto, chiron, mars, uranus, venus, 1st house, 10th house, 7th house, 8th house, celebrity charts

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🌑 Pluto square/opposite/conjunct sun, and positive aspects too but softer/easier. Your ego is dead every other week? You question yourself, you analyze yourself a lot. People who want to understand their personalities fully. The moment they got a grasp of it, it's dead again. Being misunderstood a lot, appearing more intense or forceful than you intend to, especially at a young age. Pluto is two steps ahead of you here, you need to catch up, you need to conquer your fears again, you need to strengthen your will occasionally. The epitome of transforming. Everytime you change, people are shocked, where did that power come from? Mixed impressions. Your intensity can come off the wrong way with your self expression until you understand where it comes from, until you integrate all parts of yourself and accept them fully. The more you understand how to use your power with intention and control the more you know how to express yourself, the more people relate to you, trust you, gravitate towards you and share with you. But again always carrying that inner power, that deep knowing, a layer of controlled intimidation with a hint of mysterious allure, pluto ain't going anywhere lol.

🌑 Pluto aspecting ascendant especially square/opposition/conjunction, this is very similar to pluto sun aspects but a lot more visible. People don't have to interact with you to see the darkest parts of yourself and themselves in you. Conflicts and misunderstandings are much easier to happen here. You feel misunderstood, you want to scream "I didn't mean it that way" everywhere you step. Your looks are intense you already know it. Now with this aspect, any change that happens on the inside whether positive or negative is HIGHLY HIGHLY visible in your appearance, on your face especially, it's insane. Having a bad day? It's either visible on your appearance or absolutely unnoticeable, who knows what pluto decides to show that day. Controlled or unleashed? But you should know the what, where, how, why, you are meant to watch the way you come off. You don't change it from the outside in. It's your shadow, the emotions, how you resist certain behaviors, how you let it go. How you dig deep, find the pain, and feel it, cry it out, squeeze what's left, heal it, let it go, revisit it, show it compassion. Look at yourself in the mirror again? Extremely transformative, try and meet them once every two years, you won't know them.

🌑 Pluto ascendant aspects especially conjunction have this astonishing almost unbelievable ability to become magnetic, that beauty you become hooked on. Features transforming. Eyes that make you want to come back again and again, endlessly mysterious, flirtatious without trying. Ability to appear extremely cool. Darkness that stays with you to help shine all those distinct features of yours even brighter. A lot of shadows on the face, under the eyes, on the cheekbones, on the neck. Their style is unique, there's always meaning behind it, it's never shallow for the likes of others, it's the way they embrace all they are and show it to the world.

🌑 Pluto has this ability to make your aura mesmerising. Just like you were able to integrate those parts of yourself and fix them from the ground up with so much detail like you are some magical surgeon, all of this work is shown on the outside. You can seduce people with one small move, you don't have to try. A devilish ability to convince people of things, a trustworthy persona with a demand for respect. Pluto knows you got all it takes to dig deep and reinvent yourself, which is why you have these aspect.

🌑 Now I have advice for people who got pluto harshly aspecting their ascendant, I have it opposite my ascendant on the 7th hear me out. You might appear exactly what you don't want to appear that day, it's frustrating. What's the meaning behind it? You won't know it until you see many other impressions of others and it becomes more real. That's because the 7th house is what others mirror to us and what we mirror back. Relationships are not easy for you. You might need to seperate yourself from others and watch how you act by yourself, then take those expressions of people as feedback. Where is your blind spot? Is it that serious or is it just a part you won't accept about yourself? Try to analyze how you appear healthy and rationally. Spend time looking in the mirror, cry in front of the mirror, tell yourself what you want to say, face the pain by facing yourself. You need to have empathy for yourself, it's a journey you're taking, don't overdo it or avoid it completely. Do what you can until you feel satisfied with yourself, don't obsess with it. Remember to see the blessing in it, the blessing is power, no one said power is easy to deal with.

🌑 People with pluto ascendant aspects, applies to pluto MC aspects or 10th too, with every death and rebirth in themselves, their personalities and life events, they feel the need to change parts of their appearance on the outside, whether through style, makeup, hair, or attitude. The types to cut their hair out of nowhere because they felt like it. They ain't waiting for a haircut they find them scissors and do the job. The types to shave parts of their heads, get piercings, dye their hair, bold makeup, new makeup tricks, new everything. Shocking people with "this is the new me" and feeling good about it. Each era has an aesthetic especially with pluto conjunct ascendant or 1st.

🌑 Pluto trine/square/conjunct venus, have that strong ability to make their clothes appear expensive, or rather valuable, it's a mysterious, effortless, composed kind of value, with the way it fits their bodies, the way they style it, especially if they appreciate fashion and have interest in it. If they put time and intention on what they wear. If they feel worthy of all that they have and treat it like it's worthy. Aesthetics that are memorable, the way they present themselves is immaculate. People want to copy them, but again it's that aura and intention it's never the clothes.

🌑 Pluto aspecting inner planets in general especially harsh aspects and conjunctions. Once these people understand their power and control it, balance it out, especially with the way it comes off. Once they stop hiding their compassion but rather embrace all that they are, without fearing losing other parts of themselves. Once they realize and face the effect of their words, their immediate responses and expressions, and their minds. Once they realize their motives and THIS one is important, that's when pluto truly truly shines, it becomes irresistible. The dark has been explored and now it can see the light, but it mastered both. You now see the power in others and appreciate it without feeling any less powerful, because you are firm in who you are and it's unshakable. The more work you do, you become the textbook magnetic, there's an undeniable pull to your energy.

🌑 Aries and scorpio in ascendant/moon/mars/venus, their walk is powerful. You don't hear them walk tho, especially scorpio. It's like they powerfully silently walked to the end of the road but you'll miss it if you don't keep looking lol. A lot of charisma and seductiveness. Their style is just who they are. There's an individualism with the way they carry themselves, especially if aquarius/uranus is strong in their charts. They wanna do what they wanna do vibes. Accessories look great on them. Trendsetters just because of the boldness to break current trends and the idgaf aura.

🌑 Pluto in the 12th house, very much like saturn 12th, have had their world shaken up. Individuals that are used to inner turmoils, and constant subconscious triggers. Profound eras of deaths and rebirths. Stillness and loneliness, traumatization, emotional baggage. Seeing their deepest fears in nightmares, in themselves, in others, overcoming their fears, facing them, discovering that they have power over their subconscious, they had it since the very beginning. They've started from completely being unaware to hyper aware of their subconscious patterns, habits and inner power. Bringing their subconscious to their consciousness and transforming it gives these individuals immense power over themselves and others. They lead and take on positions of power.

🌑 Pluto in the 12th can mean literal death, sometime in the 8th and 11th too. People whose deaths are a mystery, unsolved deaths, speculations over their death, dying young. Now this is especially prominent if they also have north node/mars/uranus in the 8th or 12th. It is very interesting to see how the north node, pluto, mars, and uranus can cause abrupt deaths! Steve Jobs with pluto in the 11th and 12th cusp, and mars in 8th. Princes Diana with NN, mars, pluto AND uranus in the 8th (mind blowing). Marilyn Monroe with pluto and NN in the 12th, AND mars with uranus in the 8th. Elvis Presley with pluto 8th. Michael Jackson with NN in the 8th cusp. bye I'm mind blown.

🌑 Chiron conjunct/opposite/square ascendant, in the 1st or 7th. Wounds related to your self concept, expression and appearance. Such a difficult placement especially if saturn or pluto aspects the ascendant too. Through your experiences with others, you were made to feel doubt and confusion with the way you appear. Body dysmorphia is common with this placement. Your ascendant is a sensitive topic for you. One day you feel okay about yourself and the other deskilling it completely, you don't know which way is the truth. Your body image is unclear, but it becomes better as you learn to heal yourself and others. It's better to remember the positives about yourself and be rational. Constantly remind yourself and others of how beautiful you and they are. You are meant to feel compassion for yourself and others. If you can't convince yourself that you're beautiful that day try and say it to someone else, your words are healing, super healing especially to people that have the same issues.

🌑 Charts with chiron opposite ascendant, Chris Pratt, Dakota Johnson, Jenna Marbles, Keanu Reeves, Kendall Jenner, Kurt Cobain, Bill Gates. Chiron conjunct ascendant, Selena Gomez, Margot Robbie, Heath Ledger, Shakira, J. K. Rowling, Lily-Rose Depp.

🌑 This kind of applies to chiron conjunct/opposite/square MC or in the 10th, but moreso with how the public sees them, thus how they see themselves. Their skills and abilities never being enough to them. How they perform at work is never satisfying enough to them, thus they work harder, they put so much pressure on themselves to the point of exhaustion, especially if they are career driven. Their doubts can stop them from taking action. They might stutter or freeze whenever they have to act and take action. Fear of being at the center of attention but desiring it. Doubts about their life purpose, where they stand in their career. Distorted perceptions about how the public sees them.

🌑 Chiron aspects to MC or in 10th people are usually respected and looked up to, unlike how they see themselves. Ironically, they can heal those wounds for other people through their work, strong ability to make others feel heard and understood when it comes to their career, self image and public opinions. They are remembered for their work and the effect they had on others. Individuals that have chiron in the 10th are many, Marilyn Monroe (makes so much sense because she wasn't confident in her acting and had speech problems), Kylie Jenner, Drake, Lorde, Miranda Kerr, Pharrell Williams, Pablo Picasso (remembered so much after his death), Sandra Bullock.. and many others.

🤍🤍🤍🤍

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pinkcrocss · 2 months

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On Andre...

So, I've been picking up on a lot of negative feelings towards Andre within the fandom (some warranted, some unwarranted in my opinion). And I think it comes down to two things:

-Andre is probably one of the least developed of the core group in terms of writing.

-Andre's actor (Chance Perdomo) has some problematic views irl.

I want to focus on the first point however, cuz I'm interested in the character not the actor (Patrick Schwarzeneggar and Claudia Dumit also support Isreal, so I'm choosing to focus my feelings on characters, not the actors if I want to enjoy this show at all).

When I first watched Gen V (before the hyper fixation had kicked in), Chance's performance had been one of my least favourites. I didn't like the weird voice he was doing (turns out he was Brit doing a pretty decent attempt at an "American Jock" type accent) and I thought the actor kept doing a lot of awkward stammers and tics that didn't feel in line with the character (I assumed, that's just how the actor was irl). That is until I watched a cast interview and I learned 2 things:

He is a Brit.

He's actually a very smooth and clear speaker. Which means those mannerisms were an intentional choice by the actor.

Later, once the hyperfixation had truly set in, I was watching a boatload of cast interviews, when I caught a comment underneath one of those videos that totally changed my view of that character and performance during my 4th (maybe 5th) rewatch.

You know how each of the core group's abilities hurts them in some way and thus works as an allegory for some form of personal issue that they are overcoming? i.e.

Marie -> Cutting/Self Harm

Emma -> Eating Disorders

Cate -> Consent

Jordan -> Gender Identity/dysphoria

For a while, I don't really see how Andre's abilities could serve as an allegory for anything. like, yes later on we learn that his powers will cause him damage over time, but that kind of seemed ham-fisted at the last minute, and not really connected to his ability to bend metal.

But back to that one Youtube comment. I can't remember word for word the comment, but to paraphrase, essentially:

The commentor spoke about how they connected to Andre's character a lot because when they were in college, they had developed an auto-immune disease that essentially made them chronically ill.

They talked about being unable to keep up with their peers, while they were supposed to be in their prime physical years, and how much that taxed on their mental health. Constantly feeling left out, constantly self-medicating, and the chronic pain that they just had to grin and bear.

And as soon as I read that, everything I didn't quite understand/connect with in Andre's character suddenly made sense.

What is one of Andre's core personality traits in the group? He's the stoner.

From episode one, there's a scene of him doing drugs in every episode. Cate is constantly asking him if he's high... he's self medicating.

The slow way he talks, the constant blinking and squeezing his face (note the scene when he's yelling at Tek Knight, or after he takes that first hit from Sam, or after he stops the helicopter)... he's in pain.

So many tics and nuances in his behaviour that I initially wrote off, was actually a much more nuanced performance from Chance Perdomo.

And it all coalesces in that final scene when Andre is at Vought tower and learns of his dad's diagnosis. His powers are slowly killing him, making him weaker (like an auto-immune disease. the body attacking itself).

And the doctor asks him if he ever feels light-headed? has he noticed any uncontrollable tics? Andre is hesitant, almost like he's in denial. But you look back at his actions/behaviour throughout the show, and he's been showcasing both those things.

Finally, the scene with the helicopter. Where it's more or less confirmed that Andre's powers are doing to him, exactly what his dad's powers did. I've seen people very critical of that scene. Saying things like, Oh! He's all of a sudden being affected by the use of his powers, but we hadn't seen that previously (which I disagree) and how it seemed "too convenient".

But keep in mind, stopping a decelerating helicopter is the biggest feat of Andre's abilities we'd seen so far in the show. Of course it's going to take a bigger toll on him than all the other times (not to mention he was in pretty big emotional distress. His dad, Cate's betrayal, an attack on the school...). Stress exacerbates illnesses.

The other critique I've seen is, why are Andre's abilities having this affect now? He's supposed to be in his 20s, but his dad made it all the way to his 40s/50s before it was detected... and that's a fair question. I have some theories:

Like certain genetic illnesses, this issue is hereditary. It's not Impossible, that Andre just inherited a stronger ability than his father, and thus stronger blowback on himself.

Andre's chronic drug use might be a chicken or egg situation. Where maybe his chronic drug use exacerbated the damage his abilities were causing him, and as a result he started self-medicating with more drugs, causing a continues cycle of him increasing the damage to himself.

His dad has been shown to have a very stubborn personality (note how he refused to acknowledge when Andre revealed to him the damage their powers were causing them). Perhaps, he had started feeling the symptoms around the same age Andre had, but just kept ignoring it and pushing through up until he reached his limit in his 40s/50s.

Some other reason that writer's haven't revealed yet. The show has been renewed for a second season, and it's obvious these characters have been set up to be integral to the overarching storyline of the boys as a whole. It's entirely possible that there is more potential development for Andre's character in the future, and I think it's fair to give the writers leeway to explore that.

All in all, I just wanted to get my thoughts out about this, and maybe see how everyone else views Andre's character. He seems to be one of the least discussed in the core group, and I feel like his character has a lot of room for more development in the future if the writers approach it correctly.

#sorry for the rambling #I literally made this blog just so I can be insane about this show in peace #gen v #andre anderson #marie moreau #jordan li #emma meyer #cate dunlap #luke riordan

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andreabandrea · 5 months

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The AndreaBandrea UTY post

I need some place to put my Undertale Yellow (UTY for short) thoughts & criticism, and this is my blog, so I might as well put them here. If you don't want to see constructive criticism about Undertale Yellow, don't click below the readmore!

Pretty much everyone I talk to really likes this game, and honestly, I'm really sad that I don't like it more. I like some parts of it quite a bit! But I have mixed feelings about other parts-- I think the writing and characterization could have been a little more impactful than they were, and I’ll be discussing that here. I don’t want to just rag on this game without expressing suggestions and parts that I do like in more detail, so those will be covered as well.

I also want to add a disclaimer that I don't have negative feelings towards the development team or fans of this game in the slightest. I have nothing but respect for the creators of Undertale Yellow. This project was obviously a massive undertaking with a lot of love behind it, and I'm glad to see that it's found success and a community of people who do enjoy it.

The reason I’m writing this post is that, again, I liked parts of this game and wish I enjoyed it more. If I didn’t like it at all, I just wouldn’t engage with it at all anymore. I also haven’t really seen any other people expressing constructive criticism on the game’s writing, so it’s felt more important for me to express these thoughts, be heard, and see if others feel the same way.

The Good

I'll start off with the things I like. The art, the animation, and the music are all fantastic. I was very impressed by the battle backgrounds and the little touches, like the way Clover runs. Clover doing things like reaching for other’s hands, giving fistbumps, drawing their weapon, changing their expression at times-- they feel very dynamic and fun to play as.

The music is really catchy and fun. I love the iterations on the battle theme-- Snowdin’s battle theme having bells, for example.

I also had fun with most of the fights in the game! I liked the unique mechanics that came into play (e.g. the lasso in North Star's battle). I think that changing the way Clover attacks compared to Frisk feels organic and fun.

I also love the mail system. Ever since you could deliver and receive letters in Paper Mario 64, I’ve been hooked on mail as a storytelling system in video games. I think the letters you receive are interesting and clever, and it’s a great way to keep past characters relevant in lieu of a cell phone.

I’m going to be discussing criticism of the characters later, so I’m going to take a moment to talk a little about things I liked about them. I really like Martlet’s optimism and belief in humans. Starlo made me laugh quite a few times and the Feisty Five have a great dynamic with each other. A lot of the background characters in the game are fun-- I like the one who serves you at the Honeydew Resort. The fact that you can go back to these vendors later on and get four new topics to talk about is fantastic and makes the world feel a lot more alive.

The Slightly Less-Good (and more disclaimers)

The writing is where the game falls short for me-- and it’s sad for me, because the writing is the heart of Undertale. I don’t think that the writing is bad by any means! I like the characters and story well enough, but- again- I just wish that I liked them more. I’ll try to incorporate suggestions so this isn’t just a total downer post without anything backing it up.

I want to express something about the ‘suggestions’ that I’ll be offering after the criticism. I know that Undertale Yellow is now out, and the team isn’t going to go back and change it now, and that’s totally fine. I don’t want to make it sound as if the team should change Undertale Yellow just because I have some reservations about it. I’m just one fan out of many. In the very off chance that a member of the Undertale Yellow development team is reading this--

First of all, hi!

Second of all, I know that changing major parts of Undertale Yellow at this point is very unrealistic, and I wouldn’t want you to. If anything, I’m honored you’re reading my ramblings at all. I’d be touched if you’d be willing to take some of my words to heart as you move onto your next creative projects.

The reason I’m including suggestions, therefore, isn’t because I think that the team should or must make these changes, but because I don’t want to just sound excessively negative about this game without offering a little feedback.

I don’t presume that my criticism and suggestions are objectively correct or better than what the Undertale Yellow team created. This is my personal blog, and these are my personal rambly thoughts about Undertale Yellow. The reason I’m including so many disclaimers is because I’ve gotten into discourse before due to poorly thought-out posts about Undertale, and I hope to avoid that this time. I don’t want to just not post something on my own blog, though, because I’m afraid it could be misconstrued or possibly upset somebody. So, I’m trying to discuss this as carefully as I can.

As one final disclaimer, I'll say that I know that it was more likely than not that I'd be at least a little disappointed by Undertale Yellow. The original Undertale was a very important game for me, and very little could reach that standard. (I think this is one reason why Toby decided to do Deltarune, a sort of AU/spinoff rather than a full-on "Undertale 2", and I respect that decision.)

I also think that quite a bit of my criticism is subjective-- several of the characters didn't fully click with me and several of the jokes just didn't land for me, personally. More people than you might think just didn’t connect with the regular Undertale, either. I’ll be talking a little about my subjective opinion on characters, but I’ll try to explain why I feel the way I do rather than just say, “XYZ character sucks because they’re lame, moving on.”

With that said, the post. I’ll be addressing my criticisms from smallest to largest. To begin, I’ll recap the plot of UTY to better analyze aspects that I do and don’t quite like. Spoilers abound.

Undertale Yellow Plot Recap!!!!

The central story of UTY, to my memory and understanding, is as follows:

In the past, a fallen human being went on a rampage in Snowdin and hurt Kanako, the daughter of Chujin, a former royal scientist and monster who happens to be a boss monster. Dalv, an unrelated monster, was also hurt in this incident and sealed himself away in the Ruins in a self-imposed isolation. Chujin’s family (presumably him or Kanako, but not Ceroba, as she doesn’t recognize Dalv) felt bad about this and left him corn from Starlo’s farm as a gift. But, when Chujin died, the corn gifts stopped coming.

Stepping back a bit, after the incident, Chujin developed a deep hatred for humanity. He invented a security robot called Axis and told it to go kill the human. Axis did this (and we will return to this later). Chujin kept the soul (at least, for a time) to experiment on.

At some point in this, Axis failed to impress Asgore and Chujin was fired as the royal scientist. At some point as well, he began to teach Martlet how to build puzzles. Martlet got a job in the royal guard and Chujin disapproved because humans are very dangerous.

Due to experimenting on his own boss monster soul in an attempt to find a way to turn regular monsters into boss monsters so that monsterkind could potentially stand up to the threat of humanity, Chujin wound up very ill and then passed away. He left video tapes to his wife, Ceroba, asking her to finish his research. However, he asked her to leave Kanako out of this so she could live a normal life.

Ceroba agreed to finish this research, but Kanako found out about it and asked to be experimented on because she, like her father, has the power of a boss monster. Ceroba agreed to experiment on her, which injured Kanako and caused her to ‘fall down’. Ceroba sent the near-death Kanako to Dr. Alphys, the new royal scientist, who was collecting ‘fallen down’ monsters for her own experiments with determination.

Plot summary over. I’ll take a closer look at some of these aspects going forward.

UTY Plot Criticism

I don’t feel like this is a bad story, necessarily. With that said, it doesn’t feel quite as tied together as Undertale’s story does, and I think certain aspects don’t land.

First, I feel that the majority of the plot elements about Chujin & Kanako get dumped on you at the last minute. You might be thinking that the story about Chara & Asriel is also dumped on you at the last minute-- and to an extent, this is true. You do get a massive amount of information regarding their story near the end of the game, in the True Lab.

However, Chara & Asriel's story is a massive part of the narrative from the very beginning. You meet 'Asriel' (Flowey) in the very beginning of the game. Toriel is in the Ruins due to the fallout of Chara & Asriel's deaths. Asgore and the monsters are trying to kill Frisk and steal their soul because of this, and the royal guard has taken it up as their mission. Sans is aware of an anomaly that will end everything (implied to be the player), and he would have 'killed Frisk where they stand' had he not made a promise to Toriel. And so on.

I’ll be reviewing criticism of the game’s plot in sections themed around each major character. I will be discussing suggestions about each character in their respective section here, as I discuss things I didn’t quite like about each character, my suggestions are intrinsically tied to why I didn’t quite like them.

Dalv

The connections between characters and the Chujin & Kanako plot feel a bit tenuous to me. Similarly to Toriel, Dalv is in a self-imposed isolation in the Ruins due to a major incident in his past. He fears humans due to the attack he suffered in Snowdin, and he suffers loneliness after losing his friend (who left him corn). When he sees Clover, he wonders if this is “some sort of haunting” (implying he knows that the human who attacked him was killed).

In the pacifist route, Clover can prove to Dalv that not all humans are evil and Dalv can move out and learn how to trust people again. This becomes a recurring theme-- Clover, pure of heart, proving to monsters that humanity isn’t that bad after all.

However, Dalv then disappears from the story. His motivation is to basically be left alone, but once you prove to him that humanity isn’t so bad, his role in the story is essentially complete.

I feel that, by comparison, Toriel’s motivation is more active-- to protect humans who fall down from Asgore. It’s this motivation that drives her to return at the end of the true pacifist route and ultimately make the true ending of Undertale possible.

Dalv’s passiveness makes him a weaker character to me. Now that you’ve proven that you’re his friend and humanity isn’t so bad, I would have liked to have seen him take an active motivation to protect his friend or help them in some way. We don’t have to copy Undertale beat for beat and have him dramatically save Clover from Asgore or anything, but it would have been nice to see him vouch for Clover in some way at some point.

Now, for the final time, I know that UTY is released and major changes aren’t likely. Some of my suggestions are “I would have liked to see this, but this change would require redoing the entire game,” which I don’t think should or could be done at this stage. This is just daydreaming and- if I’m praising myself highly- potential considerations for the devs’ future works (and the works of any other creatives who are reading this).

With this proposed major change to Dalv’s character out of the way, I’ll suggest instead the most minimal possible change that I would like to see, so my suggestions don’t feel entirely like just daydreaming.

I really like how Dalv sends Clover a letter about his moving out to Snowdin. This is active of him in terms of motivation-- Clover is his friend and he wants to keep in touch with his friend. I’d be absolutely thrilled to see a little bit of extra dialogue for him in an update. After you go back to Snowdin and see him, I think the dialogue he already has is totally fine! But, I’d be really happy if he’d take initiative and tell Clover a little more about his experience with the past human, or invite them to rely on him, too.

Martlet

Martlet felt… a bit restrained in terms of her writing, to me. I think that one aspect of Undertale’s writing is that it’s not afraid to go over the top. Papyrus isn’t just silly, he wears a costume every day and cartoon eyes pop out of his head when he’s surprised. Undyne isn’t just determined, she aspires to be a badass anime heroine. I like Martlet just fine, but she never had a moment where she really stood out to me in this way.

Martlet’s defining traits are that she likes puzzles, she loves reading and abiding by the rules of the royal guard, and she believes in humanity and wants to help Clover. As I said before, I really like this optimism and belief. I’d like to see more of it.

Near the end of the true pacifist route, Martlet says that she was taught in the royal guard that humans are scary, but Clover proved to her that humans are kind. This felt very abrupt to me at the time-- we know that Chujin disapproved of her joining the royal guard due to his own trauma, but Martlet had no personal involvement in the last human’s violent actions.

Martlet doesn’t seem to have any reason to dislike humans more than any other monster. We learn in her diary that she essentially joined the royal guard out of a desire to help people and build puzzles, and also because she needed a job.

If she’s just supposed to be a representative of the average monster and their feelings toward humanity, and her growing to like Clover is meant to represent how all of monsterkind could grow to like humankind, that would be one thing-- but I think that she specifically is meant to represent a person who wholeheartedly believes that humans can be good and that humans and monsters can live in harmony. In the no mercy route, she repeatedly pleads to Clover to do better, that they don’t have to act this way, that she wants to help them. That’s not the response of the average monster, who fights Clover or tries to flee from them.

I believe the intention is that Chujin & Martlet represent either end of an ideology axis (no pun intended). Chujin believes all humans are evil no matter what, but Martlet believes that humans can choose to be good. But why does she choose to believe in humans other than a sense of personal optimism?

I would have liked to have seen some defining event that made Martlet choose to believe in the goodness of humanity. I would have liked to have her being kind and optimistic to a fault be more of a defining trait-- to have that go over the top in an Undertale-style way. A lot of her interactions with other characters just personally weren’t very memorable to me.

Martlet spends a lot of the game sidelined. She loses you in the Mines. She gets thrown in jail in the Wild East. She has to go back to Snowdin once you're freed. Yes, she's there for you in the true pacifist route, but she's otherwise pretty absent through the neutral/true pacifist routes.

I recognize that the main characters in Undertale can be absent after you leave their respective sections of the game. However, you're able to call Papyrus & Undyne as much as you want, and you get a major hang-out (or “date”) with each of them and Alphys which gives time to expand on their backstory and character arc. Martlet doesn't get that. We even get a little bit of time to hang out with Dalv after we become his friend, but Martlet shoves us on a boat and hurries us to the next area as soon as we beat her. And sure, we get to talk to her on the boat, but it’s just a bit of silly dialogue-- it doesn’t really expand on her character. It feels like a missed opportunity.

So, yes, my major suggestion on her would be to zoom in more on her belief in you and let her be a liiiiitle sillier and more over the top, and give more opportunity for Clover to hang out with her.

At this stage, however? In this proposed minor ‘dialogue update’, I’d be really excited to see a little something more from her. Maybe a letter? She does send you one, but only in the neutral route to tell you to meet her on top of the apartments. It would be a good opportunity to either let her be silly or explain a bit about when she came to want to believe in humans-- or both, ideally.

Starlo

I honestly have very little to say on Starlo. He seems to be the fan favorite, and I did find his section fun! Ultimately, though, he's just kind of… there? I mean, he's on the periphery of Ceroba's (and Chujin and Kanako’s) story because he's her childhood friend (and his family grew the corn that Chujin gives to Dalv), and yes, he later on reminds her that she can still choose to be a better person because he also almost killed Clover! However, every monster in the game almost killed Clover.

There’s nothing wrong with having a silly character who wears a costume and isn’t a major player in the plot. I feel like Starlo is similar to Papyrus in this way. But Papyrus isn’t just a goofball, he’s the monster in Undertale who believes unerringly in Frisk & the player’s ability to do better because he firmly believes that you can make anything happen if you just try. This belief helps elevate Papyrus from comic relief to an actual rounded character.

I don’t feel like Starlo has any sort of strong conviction like that. We do learn that he wants to bring hope to the Underground by roleplaying as a sheriff in the Wild East town, giving them a slice of (supposed) surface life. I think this is fine, but I’d like to see a bit more of it. In the no mercy route, he does bravely stand against you because he’s a sheriff and it’s his job to bring justice to murderers like Clover.

My expectation when I first met him, a fellow cowboy (gender-neutral), was that he’d have his own ideas about justice. I expected that he would clash with Clover about these ideals, and neither of them would be quite right or wrong-- and this would prove that justice can’t be measured mathematically, and one outcome can’t be applied to all situations.

But, he’s not at all bad the way he is. He has a lot of fans, after all. The minor change I’d suggest now that the game is out is that I’d be interested in learning why the cowboy aesthetic specifically appealed to him. Maybe a diary in his room explaining that Westerns are the epitome of ‘justice’ to him? I’d like to see a peek into the motivation that transformed an ordinary farm boy into someone who could bravely stand against a murderous human.

Ceroba

I’ll be honest. I want to like Ceroba, but I don’t.

I understand that there's an attempt to mirror Asgore in that the war against humanity, in general, has taken Ceroba's partner and her child from her-- and ultimately, Clover forgives her and helps her learn how to move on. It's about letting go, just like Undertale. I get that. But Ceroba’s story doesn't land for me, personally. In order to talk about Ceroba, I need to talk about her husband, Chujin, because Ceroba spends so much of the story acting out Chujin's will.

Whereas monsters in Undertale do attempt to kill Frisk and steal their soul, and Asgore has killed other children before, it's framed in a very 'video game' violence sort of way (again, Undertale has these meta elements). Ultimately, in the True Pacifist route, none of Frisk's deaths have stuck, and Asgore's actions- while reprehensible- allowed for Asriel to break the barrier once and for all.

Chujin, in the video tapes he leaves for Ceroba, implies that Axis’s murder of the human- presumably a child, like Clover and Frisk- was very violent and bloody. It feels a tiny step beyond the 'video game violence' aspect, for me. While it’s shown that Chujin regrets this, it still doesn’t change the way that this violence is expressed in the game.

Instead of giving the human’s soul right to Asgore to bring monsterkind closer to freedom, Chujin- who has already been fired by Asgore, I should add- chooses to keep the soul and experiment with it.

This is very selfish, even though he has good intentions. He’s told nobody else about his experiments with his soul at this point- not even his wife- and Asgore has told him to cease all activities as the royal scientist.

While monsters do want Frisk's soul for their own selfish reasons, they notably do not butcher them violently, succeed in this, and still try to get painted with the same quirky and fun brush that the other characters get.

After Chujin dies, he leaves detailed instructions for his wife to continue his work-- and although he says "don't involve Kanako", he leaves her all the tools she would need to experiment on Kanako, and notably, no other way to finish his work except to experiment on Kanako.

As I said, Kanako finds out about this and asks to be experimented on. And while she does give consent, she is a child. I cannot stress this enough-- she is a child who just lost her father and is still wracked by grief. Kanako is a child who cannot possibly know what she is consenting to.

Ceroba chooses to experiment on Kanako and more or less kills her. And then she chooses to send her 'fallen down' daughter to Alphys's experiment, despite the fact that Kanako presumably has some sort of trace of human soul/determination left in her-- which could have compromised Alphys's work as well.

Let's return to how I said that Ceroba is a mirror for Asgore. She's made so many mistakes and it's cost her her family and she can't stop now or it will all be for nothing. She's done horrible things, just like Asgore.

But the difference is that Asgore is the king of monsterkind. Asgore has no desire to kill human beings. He declared war on humanity in a fit of anger and grief, but the Underground had lost hope due to the loss of Chara & Asriel. Believing that Asgore could gather seven human souls and free them all brought hope back to the Underground.

His actions, while wrong, are selfless-- and much less explicitly violent and more 'cartoon violence'-like. Chujin & Ceroba have the well-being of monsterkind as their own pure intentions, but their actions are far more selfish and violent. Axis, Chujin’s creation, massacred a human being. Yet we're still expected to find them silly and fun and relatable-- it just feels unusual.

I’m not someone who hates nuance or morally gray characters. One reason I’m so sad that I don’t quite like Ceroba is that I love morally gray women. It’s just that we’re not allowed to really dislike Chujin or Ceroba for what they’ve done, and instead we’re supposed to see Ceroba- and Axis- as silly and relatable like the rest of the characters.

Immediately after Ceroba’s boss battle, instead of processing what just happened to a greater extent, Clover chooses to sacrifice their soul for monsterkind.

I understand that the intention is that Ceroba's grief and Chujin's desperation to protect monsters from humanity contributed to Clover's decision to sacrifice their soul. However, the idea is- to me- abrupt. Ultimately, too, Clover's decision is just as much about how much they love their friends (and how it's impossible for them to hide out in the Underground forever) as it is about Ceroba and her family.

Chara & Asriel’s deaths, Asgore’s war on humanity, the war of humans and monsters-- these elements impact every part of Frisk’s journey. But Chujin and Ceroba’s actions, while impactful on Martlet and Dalv to varying extents, are only part of Clover’s journey. And Chujin and Ceroba did awful things for this comparatively minor impact on the plot.

EDIT: Further analysis about how Ceroba doesn't have a lot of agency and spends a lot of the plot just acting out Chujin's will, as well as the inconsistency in her characterization (and feelings about sacrificing Clover and the well-being of Kanako), with input from @carlyraejepsans. Thank you!

I would have liked to have seen a bit more from Ceroba without any influence from Chujin- maybe an interaction explaining her relationship with Martlet and an additional conversation about Martlet’s nearly unwavering belief in humans vs Ceroba’s inherited grudge against humanity- but I don’t know where this would fit in. Adding more time for Clover to process Ceroba’s boss fight before sacrificing their soul might throw off the pacing.

In general, though, Ceroba's boss fight- while flashy and fun- ultimately feels pointless with how little she learns from it and how quickly she changes her stance on using Clover's soul for the benefit of monsterkind, and what will happen to monsters after they break the barrier. To quote @carlyraejepsans in the ask linked above:

In addition, it's like the writing didn't want to commit to her delusions and little character development. She feels that her daughter is alive and thinks she can save her—wait no that was a lie—wait it wasn't. The moment she's defeated she goes "Agh, what was I thinking!" out loud (which is already a questionable writing choice imo but i digress), and recognizes that sacrificing Clover for her plans is horrible... and then 5 seconds later Clover chooses to sacrifice themself to break the barrier and whoops nevermind she's suddenly the one getting the others onboard with the idea... wait. didn't she say she was making the serum because the humans would've only slaughtered them again if they broke the barrier? oh wait wasn't that also chujin again? whoops.

I would have felt better if there were more room to view Chujin and Ceroba in a critical light (and time to view Ceroba outside of just being a mom and wife). I can’t think of any ‘minor’ suggestion that wouldn’t require a lot of editing.

Axis…

And... okay. Let's talk about Axis real quick.

I want to give the dev team the benefit of the doubt, but I need to point out that this security robot's name is "Axis 014." If you don't know what I mean by pointing this out, I'll just say that both of these terms are nazi dog whistles and allow you to look up the specifics.

I recognize that, by this point, it’s too late to change his name. I’d at least be grateful if the team would acknowledge this and confirm that they aren’t nazis.

Axis’s name makes his actions far worse in retrospect. He, as a security robot wants to kill a child, but he isn't able to anymore because his programming has changed. So, as a legal loophole, he forces them to hold 'a weapon' (a trash can lid) so he can justifiably kill them. This is the same robot that brutalized and murdered a human being in the past at Chujin's behest.

It feels tone deaf and ultimately the one thing I’d just outright call bad about UTY. I don’t think it was intentionally done this way, but I don't like that we're supposed to find this nazi-aesthetic police brutality robot "quirky and relatable" like the Undertale cast. In the true pacifist ending, he falls in love with a robot made out of a trash can and his eyes turn into cartoon hearts and etc. It’s even more jarring than viewing Chujin & Ceroba in a fun/relatable way.

In the no mercy route, Axis will defend himself and claim that his programming forced him to kill the human and he didn't want to. This "just following orders" defense feels weak to me as well, personally. Axis clearly delights in harming humans, going out of his way to try to kill Clover. But also, Axis spends a significant amount of the game displaying a very similar amount of free will to the other characters. He’s not just a janitor robot that sweeps back and forth.

He’s a nearly sentient being-- and the fact that there are these nearly sentient robots makes Alphys’s accomplishment of creating “a robot with a soul” (at least, so she claims-- Mettaton is only the ghost in a machine) much less impactful to me, personally. Yes, Asgore thinks that Chujin failed in creating a sentient robot, and so it’s impressive that Alphys supposedly did it. But I don’t know why Asgore wouldn’t be more skeptical of Alphys’s accomplishment after Chujin failed more than eight times and set fire to his flowers.

I think that Axis is ultimately a missed opportunity to make a really villainous character. This concept that he disobeys his programming- used as sort of a parallel for law, as a security robot- to attack Clover could have been explored to further the ‘justice’ theme. He doesn’t write his programming (the laws), he just carries it out (violently enforces the laws).

The ‘minor’ suggestion I’d make, though, is to just acknowledge the name.

Undertale & Meta Elements

Now, we’ll be addressing my largest criticisms-- the omission of meta elements and the way Flowey is written.

Undertale Yellow never quite stopped feeling like a fan game to me. And it is, of course-- but I think that it feels as if it tries so hard to be Undertale (in the writing style, the humor, etc) that it fails to forge an identity of its own, and that holds it back from being just a fangame to a fangame that succeeds in expanding on the original creative work.

At the same time, although UTY tries to feel like Undertale, I don’t think it captures certain elements that make Undertale be Undertale.

Whereas Undertale was ultimately about video games as a medium and the normalization of violence in them, UTY doesn’t have this level of metatextual commentary. UTY does have a running theme of 'justice'-- and I don’t think this is bad! After all, if Undertale already said all there was to say about video games and violence, why retread that path? I respect that UTY knows its limits and simply focuses on justice as a concept instead.

At the same time, Undertale isn’t just an RPG about mercy-- it’s an RPG about RPGs. The fact that you can talk to and spare enemies isn’t just a quirk of the game, it’s what the game is about. This is one thing that makes Undertale great that UTY doesn’t focus on.

UTY doesn’t completely ignore these elements, of course. Flowey takes over resetting for you, and you do have three distinct paths based on whether or not you kill enemies-- the ‘true pacifist’ path, the ‘neutral’ path, and the ‘no mercy’ path (I will not be calling it the ‘genocide’ route, especially in light of recent world events). Through whether or not you choose to kill enemies, the theme of ‘justice’ is explored-- who is Clover seeking justice for? In the true pacifist route, Clover seeks justice for the monsters, while in the no mercy route, Clover seeks justice for the fallen humans before them.

However, Flowey taking over the mechanics of saving and resetting for you makes concept of ‘the player’ obsolete. I recognize that not everyone in the Undertale/Deltarune fandom quite enjoys the concept of 'the player' and the meta elements of these games due to the fact that there can be implications that playing Deltarune (as an example, which ups the meta elements quite a bit) can actively hurt Kris and make their world a worse place. However, Deltarune isn’t a complete work and we don’t know this for certain. Additionally, I feel as if at least acknowledging Toby's intentions are important to analyzing the work, no matter what one's personal feelings are about them.

The Importance of the Player

The presence of you, the player, is important in Undertale. Frisk is a subversion of the 'blank slate protagonist' trope. You think that you're able to name them and control them, but in the True Pacifist route, Frisk begins to act on their own (they walk slowly in some parts of the True Lab because they're presumably afraid, etc). In the end, you realize that Frisk is their own person with their own name, and you as the player have to let go-- when Frisk & the monsters go to the surface, Flowey (a mirror of the player themselves) urges you to let them go. Don't treat this as a game anymore-- don't replay and wring out any last drops of content you can. You enjoyed it, now move on.

But many players want to see the No Mercy route because it’s the last thing they haven’t done in the game, and they don’t want to let go. And that's where the role of you, the player, becomes undeniable in the game's story. What is the No Mercy route except playing a 'typical' RPG in the way it's meant to be played? You grind to become stronger, killing every enemy that stands in your way. And when you've killed all the monsters and become as strong as you can be, you've won.

Many players didn't do this because they hate the characters in Undertale and want to hurt them-- if they hate them, they likely just wouldn't play the game. Many players did it because they like the characters in Undertale, and wanted to see what would happen. They couldn't stop playing. And this is exactly what Sans means in his dialogue during his boss battle-- to paraphrase, "you think that because you can, that means you have to."

This is one of the ways that Flowey is a mirror of the player. Flowey didn't start killing out of malicious intent, but because he had become so bored and isolated that he just "had to see what happens".

Chara's role at the very end of the No Mercy route is to call you out directly for this. They tell you that their power was yours. Their words were very misconstrued by fans for a long time, and they themselves wound up as a scapegoat for the No Mercy route-- but ultimately, there's no reason for Chara or Frisk to kill every monster in the Underground. The only reason is because of you, personally. You want to see what would happen. You want to grind and play it like a typical RPG.

They call you out for this if you don't want to delete the game world at the end. Why go back to that world that you've already destroyed? Why play nice with the monsters that you just massacred because you can?

Why am I talking about this at such length? Because I believe that ‘the player’ and how they interact with the world of Undertale is important. Characters lampshade the UI and battle mechanics often-- Flowey talking about the world as a game and ‘saving’ and ‘loading’, Papyrus telling you to “press C to open the dating HUD”, Sans explaining ‘LV’ and ‘EXP’, and so on.

This is my personal opinion, and I recognize this is very nitpicky, but I feel that not acknowledging this or adding to these meta elements in some way makes UTY weaker for me.

Flowey’s Role in UTY

Flowey essentially saves and resets for you because he's bored, and he wants to use Clover as a tool to access Asgore’s five stored human souls. His role as a mirror for the player becomes him essentially just acting as a stand-in for the player. While this in itself can invite self-reflection, I think that the execution of his role is a little awkward.

We learn at the end of the neutral route that Flowey has already reset the timeline hundreds of times by the time we first start playing the game. According to him, Clover always ends up at a dead end (they choose to stay in the Underground for the rest of their life) or they die (and they can’t reset of their own power). Thus, Flowey chose to set Clover on an alternate path by sabotaging a lever in the Ruins, which made them fall into the Dark Ruins and meet Dalv.

Flowey then tries to kill Clover and absorb their soul because they, again, hit a dead end. Yet he gives up on it after a while because Clover won’t stop fighting back, and he thinks he can just reset and try again anyway.

At the end of the true pacifist route, Clover instead opts to sacrifice their soul willingly to Asgore & monsterkind. Flowey comments that he could just reset (and you still can, if you want to play again), but Clover “earned their rest” and he calls them a friend.

This progression from “Clover is a tool that Flowey is using to access the 5 human souls” to “Clover is a friend and Flowey willingly lets them die and stay dead” feels undeserved and underdeveloped to me.

"But, Andrea," you might say, "Flowey went from trying to kill Frisk as Omega/Photoshop Flowey to hugging Frisk as Asriel really quickly too!"

Yes, but in that short time, Frisk and Flowey/Asriel had a Whole Thing where Frisk 'saved' him like everyone else and he learned he needs to let go, too. It was a short time, but it was a poignant time. By contrast, Flowey is pretty much absent throughout most of UTY's true pacifist route. Sure, you could easily say that he just got bored of Clover and gave up-- but that, too, doesn’t feel quite right to me.

I really hate to say this, but I feel that Flowey’s writing in UTY cheapens the original Undertale for me, which is why this is one of my major criticisms of the game.

Flowey's entire character arc in Undertale is about how he was stuck with the same places and same people for an endless amount of resets. In my opinion, the limited amount of places and characters for him to interact with in Undertale only adds to how trapped he is (and the Underground being so small really strengthens the concept of "there's overpopulation and the monsters are running out of time to find a solution/earn their freedom" that we see in the game, but I digress).

So when something finally changes and he meets Frisk, it's deeply impactful to him. Finally, someone new to play with! Finally, potential for change! Even though Flowey admits that, even if Chara came back, there's a great chance that he couldn't really love them due to his lack of soul, just experiencing something new for the first time in ages is as close to love as he can possibly get. So Flowey:

Starts to believe that Frisk is Chara, this person he ‘loves’ or wants to love, or some manifestation of Chara.

Refuses to let Frisk go, even if that means- when Asriel has the power of seven human souls- just resetting the Undertale timeline over and over instead of going to the surface or doing anything else.

For Flowey to have gone through everything that he does in UTY- all these new places, all these new people, Clover included- weakens this, in my opinion. And sure, there's very heavily implied to be lots of places that Frisk doesn't explore and people they don't meet-- 99% of New Home and its residents, for instance. But Clover themselves is the real problem for me.

No matter how many times Flowey reset with Clover, I really struggle to believe that he would get bored of a human being that easily. He even said that Clover's actions and choices would sometimes change from reset to reset, and he only recently learned how dramatically he could alter their path by sabotaging that lever in the Ruins. Clover isn't a static being-- and even if they were, they're at least a new static being.

And although we learn in the neutral route that Flowey can't really absorb Clover's soul because they fight back too much, I can't believe that would stop Flowey so easily. What about at the end of the pacifist route, where Clover has given it up willingly and it's being transported in a little jar? Clover’s body is separated from the soul, now-- could Clover still fight back?

Or, what about if Flowey tried to kill them as soon as they entered the Ruins? Or, what if Flowey played nice the entire route and then at the end tried to convince Clover that if they sacrificed their soul, he would take it to Asgore for them? With access to full control of the timeline, I don't think Flowey would give up on this. We learn in Undertale how painful it is for him to be soulless and how desperate he is to access power so that things will change.

For Flowey to acknowledge Clover as a 'friend'- maybe even a true person, not just a compilation of dialogue- suggests character growth. It suggests remorse for his resets that he isn't capable of having and doesn't have until the events of Undertale. I just don't feel like it’s earned.

Flowey is, of course, an unreliable narrator.

At the end of the no mercy route of UTY, Flowey expresses that he never saw Clover as a friend-- he only enjoyed watching them die over and over again. It should be noted that this was said while under extreme duress (Clover is LV 20 by this point and has killed everyone save for Asgore), and this route isn’t canon in the way that the neutral and pacifist routes are.

With that said, if we agree that Flowey can’t feel love as a soulless being, then I could argue that this is about as much of a ‘friend’ as anyone could be. This is how he wanted to keep Frisk (“Chara”, in his mind) for eternity when he had the six human souls + the entirety of monsterkinds’ souls-- just watch them try over and over again, for eternity.

Why am I contradicting myself? Because, let’s suppose that Flowey doesn’t mean Clover is a ‘friend’ in the traditional sense- that they earned his respect and he cares for them in some way- but Clover is a new toy that he got bored with and gave up on. I feel like this, too, makes Undertale a little weaker.

If Flowey did have some type of positive regard for Clover, but was willing to let them go, then it feels- to me- like Frisk’s role in his story isn’t that significant. Frisk helped him learn how to let go and move on, but Flowey has already demonstrated being capable of this. The circumstances are different- if Flowey gives up at the end of Undertale’s true pacifist route, it’s over for real, whereas if he gives up at the end of UTY, he can just wait for another human to fall- but I feel like the core feeling is the same. Flowey, by the start of Undertale, doesn’t strike me as someone who’s capable of letting go.

So, how would I have changed this?

I recognize that- again- Undertale already made these points about video games and violence, and Flowey has his entire character arc in that game. For Flowey to have more of an arc in this game would potentially make this game no longer line up with canon Undertale or weaken Undertale further. And why retread old ground that Undertale already talked about?

I respect the decision to tell a self-contained story, but the meta commentary about video games in Undertale is so significant for me that I personally would have liked to see a bit more of it in Undertale Yellow. I also recognize how much of my criticism of Flowey’s writing in UTY is subjective. It feels unrealistic for me, his arc feels abrupt for me, it makes Undertale less poignant for me.

A lot of people love his inclusion in this game, and it’s very novel to see Flowey as a friend throughout most of UTY and hear his snarky commentary on demand rather than having him as an enemy who’s absent through most of the game, as he is in Undertale.

The Flowey Suggestions

First, I’ll be honest. I know this is not and has never been possible, but my easiest solution to the dilemma of Flowey’s lack of a character arc- and the lack of an ability to give him a character arc- would have been to just remove him from UTY.

I think that Flowey’s inclusion in the story of the yellow soul human and his role saving and loading could have been interesting. It goes against certain story elements implied in Undertale, and popular fan theories-- and I don’t mind that, if something meaningful is done with it. But, I feel as if Flowey’s relationship to Clover isn’t impactful enough to justify including him.

To clarify on ‘implied story elements’ and ‘popular fan theories’:

While I might be misremembering, I thought that it was implied in Undertale that Flowey came into being after Asgore had already collected six human souls, and that a significant amount of time had passed since the last human had fallen down.

I won’t go into it at length because this post is long enough and I, again, am not an Undertale expert. With that said, it’s also implied that all human souls are capable of saving/loading/resetting in the Underground. If you make Frisk tell Asgore that he killed them before, he just nods as if he’s used to it-- and he’s the one character who we know has killed humans before.

Now, how did Asgore successfully kill beings that can just reset the game whenever they die? Well, Sans faces the same dilemma in Undertale’s no mercy route. There’s no way that he can permanently defeat you, the player, who is a real being. Therefore, the way he ‘wins’ is by infuriating you enough with his difficult boss fight until you give up and stop playing Undertale (or, at least, reset and make better choices).

Think about all the times you’ve played a game, got stuck on a hard boss, and never played it again. While it’s not ‘canon’ to the story- giving up on your copy of Mario doesn’t mean Bowser really wins- functionally, giving up on a game means that the story ends for you. This is how I believe Asgore captured the six human souls, even if they were also capable of resetting like Frisk is-- he fought them until they gave up.

Humans all are said to have great amounts of ‘determination’, not just red soul bearers. We don’t even know what trait the red soul exemplifies. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s determination itself.

The bottom line is that I don’t think it would be unrealistic for Clover to be able to save/load/reset on their own, or for Flowey to not exist yet during the time they fell down.

But, I get it, Flowey was in UTY’s demo that has been out for seven years. He’s in the trailers. He couldn’t be removed at any part of development, and he sure as hell can’t be removed now.

My second suggestion would have been to zoom in on him, instead. While the prequel is about Clover, the yellow soul human, I would have liked to see it be about Flowey in a significant way. I kept hoping for Clover to have an opportunity to ask Flowey at some point, “why are you helping me, anyway?”.

This is my personal interpretation, but I’ve come to believe that Flowey thinks that the reason he’s stuck as a flower is that it’s a punishment. Because he, as Asriel, refused to fight back, he failed Chara, and now they’re dead. Now he’s stuck as a rinky-dink flower with no soul, he can’t love his former family, and he can’t stop playing this game.

In the no mercy route of Undertale, Flowey feels very much like he’s trying to appeal to Frisk- the person he believes is Chara- in a way like a younger sibling trying to impress an older sibling. He says he’s impressed by how you killed everyone. He helps solves puzzles so you won’t have to slow down. He brags to you about how he’s also a heartless killer.

Notably, he talks about his past. He tells ‘Chara’ that he was afraid to start killing, at first. He said he wouldn’t enjoy it, but he just had to know what would happen.

Then, Flowey laughs and says that you (Chara) know how liberating it is to be this way-- to kill people and shape their fates. He ‘recognizes’ Frisk as being actually Chara because of how they killed everyone in the Ruins.

But we have no indication that Chara was a violent or evil person in their life. I believe that Flowey is partially projecting and partially recognizes Chara because, in the last moments of their life, they were telling him to kill. He always knew that Chara hated humanity and wanted power to better the position of monsterkind. This is why Flowey brags about how he has a plan to get the human souls, and once they do so, they can go to the surface and “finish what [they] started.”

To Flowey, in my opinion, killing people isn’t just about seeing what happens. It’s about trying to understand and appease Chara and doing what he thinks he should have done all that time ago, as Asriel.

I bring this up because I think that I would have liked to have seen this be explored in Undertale Yellow. Flowey is still a very misunderstood character today due to being an unreliable narrator. I believe that a lot of Flowey misinterpretations are due to taking him at face value-- hearing him say that he’s an unfeeling, manipulative, patient killer and agreeing with him.

But Flowey contradicts himself at several points. He gives up his “catch these friendliness pellets” trick after you dodging just a few times. These aren’t the makings of a perfect manipulative killer, but an impatient child. That’s who Flowey is at his core-- a child.

I recognize that, again, if Flowey told all of his tragic backstory to Clover and they became true friends, this wouldn’t fit with canon Undertale and his actions in that game. Flowey and Asriel distance themselves from each other, and it wouldn’t make sense for Flowey to tell this to Clover-- especially if he just views them as a tool to use and play with.

I think, however, it wouldn’t have been impossible for Clover to have learned this information about Flowey in a way that could still be canon compliant with Undertale itself. Hypothetically, maybe the “hopes and dreams” statue in the UG Apartments near the Core could have sparked intrigue in Flowey.

Maybe analysis of Flowey could have come up during his neutral route boss fight-- after all, Clover appears to peek into the minds of Ceroba and Martlet during the true pacifist and no mercy run boss fights, respectively. We already get a little of this- Clover has to run through a hallway of flowers in Flowey’s boss fight, and we hear sad and scared dialogue that’s presumably from a past version of Flowey himself. However, it’s not necessarily new and doesn’t quite add to Flowey’s character in my personal opinion.

I feel that including Flowey’s story more in some way would justify having Flowey in the game, and knowing the history of Asriel & Chara could factor into Clover’s decision to give up their soul for the sake of monsterkind. Chara, too, sacrificed themselves willingly, after all.

I don’t have a ‘realistic suggestion’ that could be implemented with a dialogue update because these suggestions are so vast-- and, ultimately, very personal and subjective. I have very strong feelings about Flowey.

Meta Elements of Undertale

In Undertale, you’re asked when you should or shouldn’t fight. As a pacifist, you can get through the Ruins without killing anyone. Flowey will then ask you what you would do if you met a relentless killer. Would you betray your morals and fight? Or would you give up and let yourself die?

Undertale is the friendly RPG where nobody has to die. While you have to kill Asgore at least once to do the neutral route, and you do have to fight back against Omega/Photoshop Flowey to end his battle, the game ultimately posits that there never is a good time to fight. You don’t beat Omega Flowey by being stronger than him, you do it by appealing to the souls and allowing them to rebel. You don’t beat God of Hyperdeath Asriel Dreemurr by beating him up, you do it by saving your friends- him included. The game, again, is about an inversion of the necessity of violence in video games to me.

I would have been interested in seeing an exploration of when it is necessary to fight, and this could be done through the lens of ‘justice’. Would Clover fight if it brought them closer to justice (on a pacifist route)? Is it morally correct to kill one person if it saves thousands?

Sparing someone is always the correct option in Undertale. In that way, the true route is quite linear-- there’s one solution that works for everyone. What if there were situations in UTY in which there is no single correct option that works for everyone? What if Clover were placed in situations in which they had to act as arbiter and decide between two outcomes and what is right? It could have been like how they get forced to solve the trolley problem in the Wild East, but with consequences.

Adding to putting a ‘twist’ on the elements that Undertale introduces with its combat system-- what if sparing someone ultimately enabled them to keep hurting others? What if fighting to weaken someone was the correct solution for once? These inversions could have built on the meta elements of Undertale, and I think that it would make Clover’s decision to sacrifice themselves to bring justice to monsterkind more poignant to me.

Again, I have no ‘realistic’ suggestion for this in the full release of UTY. I think that the plot about justice alone isn’t bad, but I would have been happy to see it tie into the gameplay a little more.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I think that UTY tries too hard to be Undertale without iterating on the aspects that made Undertale memorable. The characters feel like they fail to pop or relate to the game’s story in meaningful ways, and to me, the main story isn’t executed as well as it could have been (and far darker than the main Undertale in ways that don’t feel as if they’re handled sensitively).

I will say, again, that this project is very impressive in scope, and I applaud the dev team for finishing it and releasing it. I recognize that a lot of my distaste is subjective, and creating another Undertale is a fool's errand considering the acclaim that Undertale got. I recognize one final time that my suggestions are just daydreaming, and this game has already found a lot of success-- which I think it deserves.

I tend to criticize a lot of media I like, which might sound contradictory to some, but it makes perfect sense to me. If I don’t like something, I won’t engage with it. I think that the original Undertale has its flaws, too. At the end of the day, I like UTY, but no media is perfect. This is how I think it could have been better, and I hope that I think other creatives who want to make Undertale fanworks (or any creative works, for that matter) will take these thoughts into consideration.

Thanks for reading.

#bandrea blabbers #long post #the uty post

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yellowocaballero · 4 months

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Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

#my asks #thanks for enabling me lizzy if i didn't get this out i would have just vagued for the rest of time #even just beyond all of this on a more subtle lvl. HC people with SMI cowards. just do it. its good for you.#the two times me/a close friend have proposed on a fandom server "hey I read X as having a SUD/being on the schizophrenic spectrum'#there was actual fascinating pushback and rejection #people got MAD.#'blorbo wouldn't be an alcoholic he's not a bad person :(' fuck off #i dont use the word often but its ableism and you can be mentally ill and still ableist #if you dont feel educated enough on something to write it then do research #and while research wont give you everything it's a start #if you feel like you can only write people just like you then frankly? skill issue #i mentioned that the last fic was a bit of a spite fic - well #it was scientifically fascinating how the majority of a fandom wrote/acknowledged a character as depressed and anxious #but actively got incredibly defensive when someone suggested that the psychotic character may have had a psychotic disorder #it was so blatant. very annoying. anyway.

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cosmicjoke · 1 month

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Yashiro never owed it to Doumeki to Stay

I know I'm probably gonna' draw the ire of a lot of people by making this post, but fuck it. I'm too exhausted at some of the same, ridiculous rhetoric I see in this fandom, over and over, again and again, and I think it needs to be addressed.

A big part of my problem with the way people talk about what happened between Yashiro and Doumeki pre-time skip, and in particular, the harsh criticism I see lobbed at Yashiro specifically for what happened is that, underlying it, is this presumption that Yashiro ever owed Doumeki anything. The way Yashiro's rejection of Doumeki so often gets framed makes it seem as if Yashiro somehow owed himself to Doumeki, body and soul, and how dare he push Doumeki away. How dare he refuse his advances. As if Yashiro was some sort of possession that Doumeki alone had a claim to.

Because, see, no, Yashiro isn't an object to be attained. He isn't, to quote Jasmine from "Aladdin", a prize to be won. He's a human being, and his previous relationship with Doumeki was that of employer and employee. Yashiro never promised himself to Doumeki. He never made any sort of vow of faithfulness or assurances to him that he alone would be his only partner. He never even hinted at or implied that he wanted to be with Doumeki in any sort of romantic capacity.

And yet, we see so many people raging against Yashiro for rejecting Doumeki's advances, straight up accusing Yashiro of causing Doumeki "trauma" by pushing him away, as if Yashiro was somehow obligated to accept and receive those advances for the sake of Doumeki's own, mental health.

What the hell is Yashiro to these people, I wonder. Do they view him as the catalyst for Doumeki's journey toward mental health? Is he meant only to serve Doumeki in his journey toward self-discovery and self-affirmation?

The reasons for why Yashiro pushed Doumeki away rarely, if ever, get discussed. All we hear about is how Yashiro hurt Doumeki, and how he's now supposed to make it up to him by being magically cured of all his own mental illnesses and embrace Doumeki's sudden reappearance in his life with open arms, confessing his unwavering love and faithfulness to Doumeki alone.

Again, no. Yashiro never owed anything to Doumeki. He didn't owe him a relationship. He didn't owe him his faithfulness. He didn't owe him an acceptance of his advances.

Yashiro pushed Doumeki away because he was trying to protect both of them. He resorted to more and more extreme tactics as the story went on because Doumeki wouldn't stop pursuing him. Doumeki wouldn't take no for an answer, and that made Yashiro more and more desperate. That doesn't make the way Yashiro treated Doumeki right, but it also is important to understanding why Yashiro acted as he did. It wasn't out of malice. It wasn't out of an intent to harm Doumeki. It was out of fear for Doumeki's safety and out of an attempt to protect himself. Yashrio felt threatened by Doumeki's pursuit of him. Not physically, but from an emotional and mental standpoint. Doumeki's presence in his life at that particular time, and his particular way of treating Yashiro, caused Yashiro immense mental and emotional anguish and also undermined his very sense of self-identity. It was devastating to him. He told Doumeki no, and Doumeki didn't listen.

I don't think people want to acknowledge this reality, or take into account that it was wrong of Doumeki to keep pursuing Yashiro when Yashiro told him he didn't want him to. He had no claim on Yashiro. He had no right to intrude on his life without being invited in. Yashiro didn't owe himself to Doumeki in any way, even as a means of healing Doumeki's negative self-image.

And so you see, the way it still gets talked about post-time skip, as if Doumeki's cold-facade is entirely Yashiro's fault and, thus, the onus is on Yashiro to assuage Doumeki's fears of him running away again by confessing his feelings, continues to make the presumption that Yashiro ever owed it to Doumeki to stay in the first place.

He didn't.

I understand Doumeki's fear. I understand why he continues to act indifferent to Yashiro. I understand he's attempting to prevent Yashiro from running away again because he wants to be in a relationship with him. The problem with all of this is, Yashiro staying or leaving is entirely up to Yashiro himself. It's his body, and his life, and whether he wants to stay with Doumeki or not isn't up to Doumeki at all. And so Doumeki attempting to manipulate him into staying isn't the right way to approach the situation. It isn't right to try and trick Yashiro into staying with him.

Obviously, Yashiro wants to be with Doumeki. Obviously he's in love with him. But what I think a lot of people don't want to accept, or admit is that, ultimately, the choice needs to be Yashiro's alone, without any sort of manipulative tactic from Doumeki calculated to keep Yashiro at his side. Yashiro staying at Doumeki's side needs to be consensual on Yashiro's part, and right now, it's not. Right now, Doumeki is lying to Yashiro to keep him frozen in place, because Doumeki wants it. Because Doumeki wants Yashiro. Doumeki is going to have to come to understand, at some point, that the choice isn't his to make. It's Yashiro's.

I think, if he does realize that, and accepts it, that Yashiro should be the one who gets to decide whether he stays or leaves, he can then let go of his fear of Yashiro running away. And if he can let that fear go, then he can start being honest with Yashiro again. And I think Doumeki will be pleasantly surprised at the results if he does. Because Yashiro very obviously DOES want to stay with him. But he needs to be allowed by Doumeki to choose that for himself.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #Yashiro #Doumeki #meta #commentary #analysis

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mintytealfox · 2 months

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What do you think about norton's 5th birthday rewards? (Like the portrait and it's clues etc.)

HEH I can finally sit down and slam down some thoughts!! 😈😈 THE PORTRAIT:

In film the direction a person is facing or going is a tell, and going from right to left (he is facing left here so its assumed he is moving right to left) that signifies negative/bad orz it pushes more negative feeling. Doesn't help that his shadow is right leaning hard up-left, giving a feeling of powerful increasing negative orz

Now the lighting! his back is to the light as he faces the darkness and that darkness is mainly shown as his alter's shadow. This makes me think that he is really leaning into that side of himself and leaving who he was behind orz

B U T

He isn't looking forward he looking more towards the 'camera'/off to the side a bit, which makes me think there is a chance that he could see something that makes him about-face/turn around towards the light, cause the light hasn't all together abandoned him, its there. Its within view even on the upper corner of the map within his sight, more so than the dark majority of the map, he isn't really looking there at the dark, he is looking up and off to the side a bit.

It makes me think that the map is his plans but the light has other ideas and catching his attention 👀

THERE IS STILL HOPE PEEPS!!!!!

THE MESSAGE:

This message makes me DIE 😭😭and that is all I have to say about it.....just kidding LOL IMMA TEAR IT TO BITS HERE WE GO

The fact that what he desires above all else is freedom ;; cause that is what the sky usually means in media FREEDOM ;;

He wants:

-the fresh air -the ability to feel the sun -and to feel the breeze -to hear the trees leaves rustling and birds chirping -being allowed to rest when he needs to ;;

All he knows is darkness ;; waking up before the sun, going underground, coming back home after the sun has already set. He only knows night life, tired life. When people are exhausted and get drunk and start showing the worst parts of themselves when they think everyone is already asleep and wont see them acting in such a way. He only knows a cruel, sad, back breaking world ;; Then down in the mines its just deep, dank, all you can hear are eerie sounds and clanking of pick axes and the occasional noise from animals brought down into the mines to check for poison air. Senses constantly on alert for any potential cave-ins or other dangers and to top it off, Norton having to deal with bullying 🙃

and even after ALL that, ALL he can think about, and truly wants, is to see the sky during the day and enjoy it

I AM SCREECHING IN AGONY

Then here is Benny's letter to Norton's dad, about the dreams he has if gold is found and all the lavish ideas that Benny thinks those riches will bring. That dream and what Benny believes money will give then enters Norton's mind. "Money is the key to freedom", and there begun the spiral orz He turned to doing anything and EVERYTHING to reach for that 'promised' freedom that he can have if he gets the money required. ;; Everything around him becomes a means to get to that desired freedom. Then once he reaches that freedom he is FREE TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS ;; So the thought process of "I have to be whatever is required now, so I can be my true free self later" ;; but that isn't how that works orz

I have found that misery is similar to money. Misery loves company, and with money there is never enough (if you don't have a healthy relationship with money) That is where the greed creeps in for Norton. He is obviously making some money, it is said that his employers were very pleased with his work. He even moves up to prospector instead of just a miner, or at least he was working on the side in secret as a prospector cause bro is LOOKING HARD for that gold. (And you can tell he knows what he is doing cause he just has to check out the area and he KNOWS that gold is not going to be there and officially crosses those areas out). So if he wasn't officially a prospector he could have become one EASY. A Prospector searches for the GOOD GOOD not just gold, we are talking valuable substances that the earth makes, especially O I L. Gold is fine and dandy but OIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL is where its at! If Norton wasn't so distracted by finding gold (which would have been taken by the owner of the mine anyways cause honestly why would the world be fair and let the person who found it keep it) BU T OOIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL can be found on land that isn't owned by anyone 👀He would need to find an attorney pretty damn quick BUT IT WOULD BE HIS and most, if not all, of the money going to HIM OH MY GOSH NORTON IS SMART!! He could have figured out a way to track down an area where oil could be found, he did that for GOLD he can absolutely do that for OIL as well and he would have wound up richer than most aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Norton knows how to sell his abilities and these people (those employers) already love his work ethic and what he can do. All he would have to do is say "I can do such and such and I have proof" those employers might trust him and say 'alright how much you need to finish this plan to get that mineral 'gold mine'. People LOOOVVEEEE the prospect of getting more money and are willing to risk it all for that reservoir of significantly MORE cash/income. So they would invest in Norton and Norton would provide and he would get his massive cut of cash along with those who invested in him LIKE HE COULD HAVE HAD AN ENTIRE OPERATION SIMPLY BECAUSE HE IS FANTASTIC AT WHAT HE DOES AAHHHH but as we all well know that is not how it went down orz aahhhhhh

He was completely blinded in that pursuit of gold and keeping it for himself that he lost himself, lost his way and even lost track of what he truly wanted, to be free. You don't need a ton of money to be free. You need enough, of course, but not heaps and heaps of it orz I think he would have been more than sufficiently happy being an actual prospector and finding mineral deposits and selling them off. Bro would ADORE being an explorer, studying the land and finding the earth's riches and moving on to find the next mineral deposit, making bank as he travels and people paying even more for his good and successful work. GOSH DANG IT 😭😭😭😭

but this is me getting all wishful thinking and living in 'ideal world' land. Setting off to find his first mineral deposit would have been risky but bro has survived worse and he is stubborn, able to live off the land, and studious enough that I haven't the slightest doubt that he would find good areas that would catch people's attention, it would take time but he could do it. There is the risk of people taking advantage but with what he has seen and learned he would likely be ready for it and end up taking advantage of THEM H A R D E R LOL

but these are just my thoughts and getting all wishful at the end here to balance out the EMO STUFF NetEase is tossing out lol

Gosh DANG I just want bro to be happy -CRYYYYY-

#identity v #norton campbell #idv #idv prospector #idv norton #identity v norton #identity v norton campbell #fool's gold #idv fool's gold #identity v fool's gold #identity v prospector #prospector idv #minty speaks #minty answers #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #👀👀👀👀👀👀🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#I LOVE DIGGINGGGGG AND PUTTING STUFF TOGETHER HHEHEH

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2amtechnicolor · 1 year

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We Need To Talk About Mahiru

Mahiru's second Trial is out and oh my god she just jumped up on my faves list. I love analyzing the MVs from different perspectives so I thought I'd give my 2 cents on Mahiru's character.

My vote: INNOCENT

The first thing I really feel the need to bring up is that people tend to ignore that Mahiru is actually very intelligent. There's multiple kinds of intelligence, and while she might not be "traditionally" smart in the linguistic sense, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She's a master of empathy and mood making and is an incredibly charming talker to the point you don't realize she's completely controlling the conversation. That being said, I genuinely don't think she uses her intelligence for malicious gains.

One of the theories going around with her first MV was that she was overbearing to the point of being abusive, while being oblivious to her own toxicity. Now after rereading and rewatching, I'm inclined to disagree. Her love may be seen as overbearing to some but we have not seen any explicit bad behavior towards her boyfriend. (Contrast with someone like Muu, who was revealed to have bullied as much as she was bullied herself). In my unpopular opinion, I genuinely think Mahiru was in a "healthy" relationship, at least on the surface.

[TW for discussions of death, murder, and fictional depictions of suicide]

[Side Note: One of the sticking points people have while saying "Mahiru was toxic" is that "Mahiru's relationship only lasted 16 days" which is blatantly not true when you check the translations for MV1. Day 1 takes place during college finals (mid-March-ish in JPN), Day 7 explicitly takes place in the summer, and Day 15 is New Year's Day (January). Mahiru's affection towards her boyfriend lasted almost a year, and they dated for around 6 months-ish during that. The "16 Day Memorial" isn't about a period of 16 days, it's about 16 days over the course of their relationship where she was explicitly making moves towards her boyfriend.]

I need you to take a real hard look at how Mahiru talks about "love" and "being in love." More specifically, when she talks about the concept of "love," she often brings up the action of "loving/showing love" in her explanation. Never once have I heard her say "My boyfriend loved me." or "This is what my boyfriend did for me." The focus is all on her actions towards the boyfriend. And I genuinely think she was a sweet girlfriend! She loved trying his hobbies and cooking his favorite foods and going to his favorite spots. She was sweet, and kind, and playful, and maybe just a bit clingy. But she was never jealous or possessive.

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!

She explicitly states that her crime was not based off of negative feelings towards her boyfriend, but she still takes responsibility for what happened. Compare that to Fuuta, who, despite his own feelings of guilt, continually verbally denied that he had anything to do with his victim's death. Mahiru not only takes explicit responsibility, but also pins her "love" as his cause of death, to the point where if she was voted guilty, she would never try to love anyone again. Without "loving" anyone, she has no reason to live.

"To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe."

It's interesting the way she compares basic needs to "the act of loving". Not the concept of "love" itself, but the act of showing someone love. If she is not allowed to show someone love, to her it's like suffocating, like dying of thirst, or maybe...dying of starvation?

Mahiru in her second MV may be dirty and barefoot with torn clothes, but the one thing she is not is starving. You could argue that "perhaps it doesn't show," but when compared to her boyfriend...

She's incredibly healthy.

And of course she's healthy! Her lovely boyfriend's been feeding her those bites of cake! So is the cake "love" then? But if the cake is love, why is her boyfriend, the one whose being "smothered," the one starving?

Feeding the cake doesn't represent "love." Feeding the cake also doesn't represent "the act of loving." Feeding the cake represents the boyfriend letting Mahiru "love" him. Does that make sense?

The boyfriend lets himself be vulnerable, he feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru for her to "love." But yet, he himself is starving.

...Have you even noticed Mahiru hates talking about herself?

It's evident from her first interrogation. Es can barely get two words in before Mahiru interrupts them to ask them questions about themselves or to offer her own advice to problems she thinks Es may be having.

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that.

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function.

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me.

Compared to one of the few times Es gets a question in:

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important?

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

When reflected back to her, her answered become short and vague. Her voice grows soft and shy. She avoids questions, especially questions about difficult topics, not because she doesn't understand the gravity of them (like Haruka) but because she does. Like I said at the top, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She was beaten nearly to death because Kotoko decided to be Es's "fang", and yet she still empathizes with them. She still makes a strong attempt to see their point of view, and even to encourage Es to keep working hard. Compared to the other attacked prisoner we've seen, Fuuta, who blames and grovels for forgiveness, these responses are like night and day.

But what do we know about Mahiru, really?

She's 22

She's a university student

She likes romantic novels, comic, and dramas

She loves love. [But she's not obsessed with being loved. Haruka is obsessed with being loved, Haruka wants to be loved and taken care of, Haruka killed out of jealousy and for attention because he didn't feel loved enough. We never get that from Mahiru.]

Everything else we know about Mahiru? Is for other people.

Her favorite hobbies? Whatever her partner is doing.

Her fashion sense? Whatever will catch her partner's eye.

Her favorite food? Well, as long her partner cooks it, anything's her favorite!

The only time we ever get a sense of her and her boyfriend possibly disagreeing on something is Day 14 in MV1. Mahiru wants to see a French film and begs her boyfriend to take her. This is odd, because just a few scenes ago, she was bragging about how their tastes in films perfectly line up. If their tastes are the same, why would she have to beg him to take her to see this one?

Mahiru, like Yuno, is hiding behind a facade. But unlike Yuno, Mahiru doesn't have a strong core underneath her mirroring. Yuno can drop her "nice girl" act and she still has strong opinions and feelings and acts accordingly. Mahiru, when you try to go behind her mask, clams up, redirects, searches for a way out.

So. Back to cake.

The boyfriend feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru. He makes himself vulnerable, he lets her in, lets her care for him, lets her "love" him.

But Mahiru? She never feeds him until the very end, and even then, her "cake" isn't anything edible.

She's not stupid. She knows she can't give him what he really wants: any sort of vulnerability.

Their relationship is one-sided, but not because Mahiru is toxic or the boyfriend is apathetic. Their relationship is one sided because that's how Mahiru wants it to be. She wants to be the perfect girlfriend, because, if we're being honest, Mahiru doesn't like herself very much.

Why else would she hate talking about herself? She clearly loves to chat.

She puts her all into everything...as long as it's for someone besides her.

She will outright ignore her own pain and suffering, her own emotions, because she doesn't want to make anyone else upset.

Mahiru: Sorry… for making you worry. I’m fine! It doesn’t hurt at all.

Es: It’s a horrible injury. There’s no way it doesn’t hurt.

Mahiru: It doesn’t!

So why did her boyfriend die?

Mahiru's very good at hiding her emotions. If she slipped up and her boyfriend realized and noticed how she refused to love herself, it could cause friction in their otherwise perfect relationship.

Maybe Mahiru was the one who wanted to die in the woods, and her boyfriend, starved for any sort of real connection to her, found her at the last moment? Maybe her mental health dragged his down with her.

Mahiru's incredibly complex and tragic and endlessly relatable. She only loves too much because she can't love herself. If she's truly unforgivable, and she keeps her promise to stay alone...what's stopping her from killing the only thing she hates most?

#milgram #mahiru shiina #this is how to be in love with you #character analysis #i love you #daisuki #meta #deco*27 #milgram project #mahiru innocent #i log into the milgram fandom #i post a 1.5k word essay #i leave for another 5 months #lux talks

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tower-girl-anon · 1 year

Text

6th house: pet edition

Hello lovely people!! This post will focus on the possible traits of your pet (if you have one) or possible future pets (if you want them), and what kind of animal do you connect the most with based on the planet or sign that falls in the 6th house, since one of the themes that rules this house are pets.

As always, I hope this resonates, I apologize for any grammatical mistake, and please don't repost or copy this post without giving proper credits to the owner.

P. D: this post can talk also, if it resonates, of the first pet that you consciously or seriously took care of.

Aries or Mars in the 6th house: your pet is someone with a lot of energy. A lot of masculine or alfa energy despite of his or her gender. Maybe they will like to act as the protector or defender of the home. In this case, it should be warned that they'll need a lot of training and exercise in order to calm part of that big energy they posses because, if they don't recieve that, that behaviour can turn aggresive or other people can see them as aggresive. You could connect a lot to dogs, specially those races who are percieved as aggresive such as pitbulls, rottweiler, dobermann, etc.

Taurus or Venus in the 6th house: your pet is, or will be, very calm and loving. They will prefer to chill and spend time relaxing at home with you at the couch or bed than spending a lot of their time outside (just for those who have backyards) or playing. With this planet or sign, their body could be chubby due to their innate like to eat a lot of food most of the time. I mean, I can picture a dog or a cat who will look right into you trying to reclaim that it is his/her food time. They will like when you pet him/her, give him/her treats or when you clean them. Posible animals that you connect with: hamsters, cats, dogs and rabbits.

Gemini or Mercury in the 6th house: with the mutable sign as a ruler, you will probably have more than one pet in your lifetime or, most probably, more than one pet at the same time. This doesn't have to apply only in this sign tho'. Your pet could be intelligent, very "talkative" or very communicative in his/her own way, and have different moods depending of the day. These aspects screams "parrots" or birds to me. Maybe because Mercury rules communiation and there is a few species that can learn to imitate sounds. But it can apply to cats or dogs that learns how to "speak" too. Posible animals that you connect with: birds, dogs, cats.

Cancer or Moon in the 6th house: I'm having the vision of those pets who interrupts their owner(s) when they are having personal moments such as exchanging a kiss or something similar. Your pet or future pet could be very caring and emotional. He/she likes demonstration of affection towards them and they do that in exchange when there is an emotional connection between the two. They are very sensible to negative settings tho' and could be very possesive, jealous or moody with their owner(s), especially when they demostrate affection to other pets (if you have more than one) or other people. Animals and pets you connect with: fishes due to the water element, crabs (in reference to the symbol of Cancer) and any animal they can connect emotionally with.

Leo or Sun in the 6th house: your pet could be the center of attention in the house. Maybe he/she is the only one in the house but, despite this, if there is more than one, they could have some kind of personality, trait or talent that makes them stand out or known in the neighbourhood. Maybe he/she can become famous in social media. Another possible traits is that your pet is very independent. He/she likes to do things that he/she likes to do, go where he/she wants to go, eat what he/she wants to eat, and he/she won't be easily persuaded to do the opposite. Animals you feel connected with: dogs, big cats like lions and tigers,

Virgo or Mercury in the 6th house: your pet is very practical, "organized", detail oriented and down to earth. It gives me a very high energy of a cat but it doesn't have to be. Since this is a mutable sign, you could have more than one pet and maybe from different species which, in the end, you will have to learn a lot about how to take care of them. On the downside, they could have some health problems that will make you to spend a lot of time and energy to take care of them. For a lot of you, I don't sense any pets or, if you like animals, you could work with them by being a veterinarian or zoologist.

Libra or Venus in the 6th house: your pet is pretty much calm and chill. They are not the dominant one in the house overall and love shows of affection from their owners along with giving affection too. They also like those times when their owners wash them and make them look beautiful or, if they can't do that, to decorate their space with nice and comfortable settings. A nice space to sleep, a space to play, if you have an aquarium they will like a coral reef or seaweed, etc. Comfort and love is what they want to recieve. Possible animals you connect with: rabbits, cats, dogs, maybe some birds.

Scorpio or Pluto in the 6th house: I can see three scenarios here: first, those of you who have this placement could indicate an interest with animals that are mysterious, intense and powerfull such as lizards, spiders, scorpions, crocodiles, and snakes; second, those of you who have this planet may choose to rescue an animal that could have gone through some traumatic experience. Abandonment from their original owners, rejected by their parents, death of one or both of their parents, abuse, violence, etc; third, you may have a transformative, and maybe traumatic, experience with pets or animal in general. Maybe you lost one surprisingly, out of nowhere, or you had an accident with animals.

Sagittarius or Jupiter in the 6th house: since one of the most related symbols of Sagittarius is the horse, it is very probably that either you own one or more horses or you feel connected to them. If not, your pet could have a carefree, adventurous, happy and joyfull energy. Most probably than not, your pet enjoys spending time outside playing and exploring the sorroundings so, if you are the type to go trekking or do any activity of the sort, he/she will gladly want to follow you. With this sign or planet, your pet could be very intelligent and it will be easier for you to train them or make them learn some tricks.

Capricorn or Saturn in th 6th house: I have the feeling that the pets that you will have, currently have or had, are those who either have been domesticated by the human civilization centuries ago (example cats, dogs, horses, cows, donkeys, goats or birds) or maybe you will recieve a pet who is an adult already, not a baby, due to different circumstances. Maybe it belonged to a grandmother or grandfather and they can't keep them anymore or they were abandoned. Your pet could be hardworking and serious like those dogs trained to be of service to people with special needs or illnesses.

Aquarius or Uranus in the 6th house: definitely there is something unique about your pet. It could be because of what they are (maybe you have some "exotic" animal like ferrets, some type of parrot or any kind of animal that is exentric in any way), or they rebellious personality or because of the circumstances that surrounded the arrival of your new pet. There is a huge probabily that you don't want, never wanted or never planned to have an animal but one day... BOOM. You have encountered your "pet" and now you take care of them. Those who find baby wild animals abandoned or hurt and take care of them until they are ready to go back to nature or go to a sanctuary may belong to this group.

Pisces or Neptune in the 6th house: since the symbol of the Pisces sign are two fishes, maybe your pets are, literally, fishes or animals who naturally lives in or near the water such as turtles, otters, crabs, etc. Your pet could either be very active or, on the contrary, likes to sleep a lot. Spiritually, you could feel very connected to your pet, there is a natural energetic connectic that allows you to heal and recharge yourself thanks to the help of your pet. For instance, they say that when a cat touches you and purrs, these purrs send energetic vibrations that helps a person to align his/her chakras which, in the end, allows them to cure. If they pass away, they could become your spiritual guardian.

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yanderenightmare · 7 months

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saw you tag benevolent sexism as a trigger warning on one of your pics, was wondering if you could explain what that is? as compared to just regular sexism

Benevolent sexism is the same as any other type of sexism. As in, it's still very much sexism. But there is a small fundamental difference that separates it from most sexism.

Most sexism is based on "negative" feelings - such as (men are stronger than women; therefore, men are better) or (women are hormonal and emotional; therefore incapable of intellectual thought) or (women are weak and only good for birthing children; therefore, they shouldn't do anything else), etc... you know the gist...

But benevolent sexism is more based on "positive" feelings - such as (women are cute, adorable, lovely creatures; therefore, men should cherish them).

And while that's fine and all, what makes it sexist is that those thoughts are generally rooted in other thoughts that still inspire female inferiority to men - such as (women are soft, small, weak creatures; therefore, in need of a man's protection or help) or (women are pretty and dainty little things; therefore, they shouldn't do certain things or have certain jobs)

It's still sexism at its finest, but instead of having undertones of hatred toward women, it has these over-protective and overbearing justifications.

It also applies when people judge a woman's worth strictly by how good a wife, girlfriend, or mother she is - instead of how good she is at her job or in any other aspect of her life.

This is all based on sexism toward women, but it obviously works both ways.

Such as judging a man strictly on how good a provider he is, how talented he is in sports, how much he works out, whether he's likely to win in a fight... etc...

And notions such as (men are strong; therefore, they should take all the hard labor and fight our wars) or even (men are tough; therefore, they shouldn't cry) and (men are capable: therefore, they shouldn't waste their potential doing girly things)

In the fic you're referencing, there was a character (Dabi) who spoke about both sides, both women and men.

“Most girls are better survivors.” - “They learn quickly to accept what will keep them safe, and then, they find solace in whatever they can to maintain their mental health as well…” - “Boys fight until they break. Leaving them a shell of what they once were. But girls don’t have the same pride.” - “They leave themselves behind and become someone new.”

To be honest, I'm not entirely in agreeance with myself when I flagged this as benevolent sexism. But I felt some type of warning was necessary since he's talking about what separates women from men.

Dabi is complementing women by saying this while simultaneously dissing his own gender, but he's also degrading both in a way by insinuating that girls don't have any will to fight back because, in his words, they don't have any pride. He also says that girls are quick to change depending on their situation, saying that they become someone new. Meaning, essentially, he doesn't really think women take any pride in who they are and will change their personality just as quick as a chameleon camouflages itself.

It's really up to each of his own whether to take this as a compliment or not. Either way, I find it a slightly sad point of view.

But a sad compliment or not - it's still kind of tough to say whether it's sexist or not. However, it's obvious he has certain opinions about women - and I figured I might as well flag it as benevolent sexism just to stay safe.

the fic

#nightmare talks

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