#and i don't have anyone to talk about it

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful #just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022 #which was a rough year personally and creatively #and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore #and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way #its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art #and like thats all you are to people #theres nothing human to you #it can be a bit of a pit #and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling #this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art #going outside for dinner #maybe walking around #its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily #youre a human being #not a mindless content creation machine #and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work #good luck to all of you #and thank you for reading #comic art #its 10pm #stillindigo art

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[cruelsister-moved2]

so greek police shot a 16 year old romany boy in the head this morning and I haven't seen anywhere reporting on it

donate to the european roma rights centre: link

#I don't wanna do a 'why is no one talking about this' thing but. ykmow #and this is like the third time in about a year that Greek police have killed a rom btw #actually almost certainly more than that but there have been 3 high profile incidents im aware of #I only know UK based GRT charities so if anyone would like to add more charities that operate in EU be my guest

[betweenlands]

i need you all to listen to me. you know how youtube will sometimes randomly recommend videos with like, 58 views? sometimes the stars align and the fucked up algorithm does something right.

go out there and watch a smaller mcyter. sub-100k at the bare minimum, but ideally under 10k and even more ideally under 1000 subs. bonus points if they have in the low 100s to under 100 subscribers. watch whatever video you got recommended. watch another of theirs if you vibe with it. pick a specific series of theirs that you really like. subscribe to them.

now. this is really important. leave comments on the video or series you like. do a running gag if it helps remind you to comment. and more important than that: pick a story they're telling and engage with it. draw silly fanart even if you don't have any place to share it with them. write a tiny little story and keep it all to yourself. hype them up to your friends. get excited about this person's videos. if they do have a discord or whatever, send fanart, get involved in their community, et cetera, just --

i cannot stress enough how good it feels to have at least one tiny niche thing that's your special thing. it rules. the more you can get the better, in all honesty it doesn't even have to be an mcyter it could be an itch.io visual novel or something, just pick something obscure you stumble onto and hold it close and let it tell its story.

there will always be something there.

#txt #yt #orig #misc #yall i'm having emotions about ANOTHER niche mcyter (it's Ardendrus this time she's rad) #but seriously with us feeling kind of disconnected from mainline fandom stuff it feels really nice to have like #these small little pockets of ''i don't have anything to prove to anyone i want to talk about this because it's something that i love'' #while i'm at it you should make an mcyt sona. even if you're never going to make videos in your life make up a guy. do it. trust me it rule #solar scraps #oh yeah since this is doing numbers for some reason. it was mostly about Ardendrus at the time but it's absolutely also about AvidMC

[allforthe-gay]

it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind

#andrew was FERAL . #he fucking choked KEVIN like COME ON #and he was like RACING into the room to see neil and #he was all like *tugs neil's hoodie to get his attention* *threatens anyone who tried to come close to them (abby)* #he was all like 'i dont trust them to give you back.' come on man . #and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby #neil was all battered and bruised from barely dodging a fucking death sentence and he sees andrews partly red eye and thats #the first thing he talks about #*lightly taps a thumb against the bruise at andrews eye* i didnt know theyd staged a riot #they were all like Looking at each other and ..... idk i am not explaining this well enough but . #you don't need me to. you all read it #it was So Fucking Obvious my god #im crying bc even neil thought nicky wasnt far from the truth at that point #like he could not have been more incorrect istg . #aftg #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #all for the game #mi ne

[nny11writes]

#me rn #y'all welcome lol #my frustration and anger WILL become a fic some day and it'll be great #until then I gotta back off and let people enjoy this fandom the way they want to #it's literally not hurting anyone #I just think they're doing this character a huge disservice #and honestly it's not the character you're thinking of #also not that one #also not that one either #no not that one either- look #I don't talk about this one all that much but the feelings I have are Mighty

[thelilylav]

Hmmm... very interesting to me that Taylor Swift is trending rn and yet for some reason no one in that tag is complaining that her trending is taking away from what's going on in Palestine and what's happening in Rafah. And yet for some reason, people couldn't seem to shut up in the Kendrick Lamar tag when he was trending about how the whole beef was just two celebrities beef (it's much deeper than that) and were making up theories abt how the whole thing was taking attention away from Palestine and everyone talking about it should feel ashamed of themselves (every single account I saw in that tag was posting about Palestine too).

And the thing that's really getting me is that Taylor is trending bc of a change to the Eras tour. An objectively unimportant change to make, especially when compared to what's going on in Rafah. But that's not what gets hate, no, it's the predator getting called out in an industry known for exploitation by one of the biggest artists in said industry. The racism isn't even implicit atp...

Edit: ok so just to clarify no this wasn't meant to insinuate that Taylor trending was some setup of Israel (that's just... like objectively wrong lmao), it was to point out that when it comes to a black artist in hip hop (a predominantly non-white genre) people wouldn't let fans of said genre just enjoy the music and shenanigans happening in that genre and that's it's hypocritical to act like people can't care abt two things at once, but they can enjoy their white "feminist icon" pop star (a much whiter genre) without anyone bringing hate into that tag. like i put in the tags, the anti taylor tag is for filtering bc i honestly don't see this post as particularly negative for taylor swift, it's a critique of the fans. and i'm calling out swifties particularly bc the ones who were saying that the beef was manufactured to take eyes off of rafah were swifties, and the ones being racist in the kendrick tag were swifties. i'm not exaggerating like almost every hate post i saw mentioning the beef being manufactured was a swiftie account. it is weird to act like people caring about very serious allegations happening in a genre of music isn't reason enough to make a big deal of the situation and go INTO THE TAG and complain, but it is especially hypocritical and frankly quite infuriating to see the same people who complained about a big deal of a situation being a "distraction" from gaza and then blog abt taylor swift . it's fine if u want to blog abt music u like, honestly idc abt that, if that's all u do then this legit isn't targeted at u, this is targeted at the swifties who came into the kendrick tag to complain and then went back to talking abt swift two seconds later like they weren't doing the same thing they were complaining abt two minutes before. (sry for the long explanation, but i just don't want ppl taking my words out of context and i rlly tried to word this all clearly, but idk man sometimes u think u word something well and then nobody undrestands wtf u were on abt so i wanted to make sure it was clear) also, if you're a zionist or israel supporter, i will be blocking u if u interact with this post. ok ty bye bye

#ok so i am white and i'm a little hesitant to post this bc i've been trying not to overstep throughout this whole beef #so if anyone thinks this post is doing that please just let me know and i'll take it down #i just haven't seen anyone talk about this #and it's bothering me especially bc when kendrick was trending i kept seeing swifties being racist in the tag #so the audacity of them to complain when kendrick was trending and yet go back to praising their “mother” #it rlly rubs me the wrong way #like how much audacity do you have to have... really. #kendrick lamar #drake #taylor swift #anti taylor swift #<- that last one is just for filtering #and bc i just... don't like taylor swift lol #also the racism hasn't been implicit in the kendrick tag for a while #but yknow that was more for The Point to get across lol #and if anyone thinks this is whining for no reason i have a literal google doc that i had to start of posts complaining in the kendrick tag #bc ppl genuinely were not shutting the fuck up in that tag

[uproariousscarecrow]

happy birthday to yukiko!!!!!!

#persona 4 #p4 #yukiko amagi #fanart #have i ever talked about how much i love yukiko?? #i like that she's super silly and she has some of my favorite lines in the game and anime #her deadpan 'leave him' and 'no [i don't have anyone who hates me]' are so funny and amanda winn-lee just does such a great job of voicing #her #i love that initially she seems very introverted and graceful but deep down she's just silly!!!!!

[eyes-of-nine]

they're so childhood friends to lovers bodyguard au coded to me 😌✨ (they have killed so so many people)

#oh how i missed doing a good ol fashioned leyendecker study #and hey look IT'S THE SILLIES<3 #<- tho my lore knowledge has not improved since last time I posted about them I have in fact gotten slightly better at russian #anyways someone plss appreciate the fact that I edited all the serifs to make the font fit nicer ywy #why are cyrillic fonts so ...ehhh #and if anyone feels like summarising over 100 comic issues in my dms i would sell my soul and left kidney to you🥺👉👈 #I wanna talk about them sm but also I genuinely don't really know shit #it's actually super fun highly recommend #sergey razumovsky #oleg volkov #....do they have a ship name??? I'm sure they do???? oh well #plss let's appreciate oleg for being very fun to draw too #major grom #major grom plague doctor #bubble comics #Сергей Разумовский #look look I figured out how to get cyrillic symbols on mobile easily :DD #Олег Волков #майор гром #fanart #my art #mgpd

[katierosefun]

insane to me that if harvey had been even an iota less insane, he probably could have gotten mike to be a lawyer the more normal way. i mean, man is a big shot attorney who graduated fifth in his class at harvard law school and probably has a gazillion connections and he absolutely could have just gotten mike into harvard law school (and talked harvard people into looking the other way about how he got kicked out of college . . . worse people have gone to law school tbh), and then harvey could have just negotiated with jessica about not having a personal associate for another three years or just have had mike become a summer associate or something and then hire mike onto pearson hardman, but noOOoOoOoOOoOOO, harvey was so impatient to get his hands on mike that he had to go through this whole fraud thing. gay behavior

#caroline talks #suits #marvey #like the hilarious thing about harvey is that like. there was a FULLY legal way to get mike to work for him #he could have just waited. or negotiated. #it's funny because like. jessica pulled harvey out of the mailroom and just said 'i will sponsor you to get through harvard #and then u can work for me.' #but harvey isn't jessica. harvey is. well. he likes playing with huge risks and also unlike jessica #harvey was the one who fell in love. VERY fast #like i don't think suits makes much sense if we take love out of the equation. #i don't care what anyone says but you don't do something as insane as THAT unless you were like. toxically drawn to someone

[cerise-on-top]

hellooooo! can you write on how you think Laswell and Valeria would react to their wife’s randomly bringing home a small kitten she found on the side of the road/in a ally? Also I hope you are feeling better lovely!

Hello! In all honesty, I'm not doing too great right now, I should really be resting up, but I can't because of work! Oh well, it happens!

Valeria and Laswell’s S/O Bringing Home a Kitten

Valeria: She would not care for the little thing in the slightest, in all honesty. Valeria knows that she’s absent very often, so she can’t exactly blame you for wanting a small animal companion to keep you company. Besides, she’d rather have it be a small animal than some other person. Still, she’s not the biggest fan of animals. While she may not hate them, she simply doesn’t care about them, regardless of what they are or how cute they may be to anyone else. You can keep your little kitten, she doesn’t care too much about it as long as she gets you to herself when she is at home. However, if the cat gets more of your attention than she does, that’s when she’s starting to get a little bit jealous. If you’re not looking, she’ll shoo the little critter away, hoping it’ll get the message and leave you and her alone. That’s when she’ll come to dislike your kitten a little bit. However, if you bug her enough about it, she might begrudgingly apologize to it, but only when you’re around. She won’t be outright mean to it, but she will put it away from your lap and place it somewhere else if she thinks you’re paying too much attention to it. The little critter can meow all it wants, it’s not getting any extra treats from her. Valeria will only feed it when you don’t have the time to do so, and even then it’s on thin ice. Although she usually prides herself on being a competent and confident woman, it’s so evident that Valeria’s as jealous as it gets, and of a cat as well. You can tease her about it too, she won’t really do anything about it because she can’t. She loves you and doesn’t wanna hurt you, which includes not hurting your stinky furball. It’s obvious it makes you happy, and that’s what she wants to see in this otherwise rotten world.

Laswell: Although she isn’t the biggest animal lover, she can appreciate a cute animal when she sees one, but wasn’t sure she heard you correctly when you claimed to have rescued that kitten from an alley. Laswell knows that cats are independent enough when they’re older, at the very least, but you can’t really leave a kitten all alone for now. Besides, what if it’s got some sort of disease? As long as you take good care of it, Laswell won’t mind having a kitten be brought home, but she won’t have too much time to take care of it either, so you’re gonna have to be committed to taking care of it. She may not be a fan of having a cat around at home at first, but she grows fond of it anyway. Think of all the “My dad and the cat he didn’t want at first” memes, that’s literally her. Either way, she does think you have a heart of gold for wanting to rescue a small and defenseless animal that had nowhere to go. However, don’t make it a habit to continuously rescue animals, she doesn’t have the time or space for all of them, so please just keep it to one, maybe two, at most. Laswell, when she can, will feed the kitten and play with it. Sometimes you might even catch her sleeping with it. Especially when the kitten is more mature and has calmed down from all the playing frenzy, that’s when Laswell might hug it more often and sometimes even take naps with it. Will help you out whenever you need anything from her. Your cat needs to go to the vet? It needs some more food? The last few toys you got for it are broken and or torn? Don’t worry, Laswell’s got you covered. She’s got enough money to make your cat’s life very luxurious, as luxurious as it gets, even. The food will be of the highest quality, it will get all the meds it could possibly need, if it needs them, and the toys will always be provided for. The little kitten probably couldn’t have asked for better owners, in all honesty.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #the girls are so incredibly popular on this blog it makes me very happy #oh before I forget #fem!reader #although there's no mention of reader's gender #I don't really have much to say as of right now #it's insane to me how it's the end of february soon enough already #the years just seem to get shorter and shorter the more time pases it seems #interesting. I once talked to my co worker about this and he said I can't even imagine how he feels with how quick they go by #I took him by his word. the passage of time is so odd. some days won't pass and others seem to last an hour at most #but that's not what anyone is here for #please enjoy!

[genericpuff]

vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once” #i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

[wikiangela]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard @tizniz 💖

more bucktommy the will talk (they're getting there, the conversation went a bit off track lol) - it might be done this week, and then I can focus on the smut, and the buddie fics, and I have a new bucktommy idea inspired by that video of lou barbecuing with his shirt off that I sooo wanna write🙈

prev snippet

___

“Well, yeah, of course.” Buck answers easily, his heartbeat speeding up. He’s a little anxious about putting too much pressure, too many expectations out there, but he also knows that even if he did, they’d get back on track, they’d be fine. And besides, Tommy’s smiling, he doesn’t seem freaked out at all. And that’s after Buck brought up children. But if they’re moving forward with their relationship, they need to know what they want out of life. It seems reasonable to have this conversation this early on.

“Good.” he responds, grinning widely. “Now I won't have to stress about your answer when I ask.” he adds, and Buck feels himself blush, butterflies in his stomach going wild. Oh. Oh. This is- this is real. They’re talking about it, and maybe someday soon- he might marry this man. He will marry this man. Tommy wants him forever. Tommy wants him. Tommy wants to marry him and have children with him, and just be with him. Sometimes it’s still so shocking to Buck that someone as great and amazing as Tommy wants him, but he does. Buck’s not sure he remembers the last time he felt this wanted.

“How- how do you know I won’t ask first?” Buck asks, moving his head slightly closer to Tommy, just enough to look into his beautiful blue eyes. It feels surreal, talking about this, when they only dated for a few months, but it also feels… right. It feels like they’re on the right track to get there one day.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @your-catfish-friend @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz @diazsdimples

#tease tidbit tuesday #wikiangela writes #bucktommy fic #im about to start the actual will convo but having trouble transitioning into it so we'll see but should be done this weekend haha #remember when i said i'd write like 2 bucktommy fics and go back to buddie? lmao yeah right #honestly i don't care - bucktommy is the only thing bringing me genuine excitement rn and i'm gonna ride that high as long as i can #if y'all follow me just for buddie - sorry not sorry? lol they'll be back but for now I'm here idk #again if anyone wants to not be tagged in my bucktommy just lmk - and if anyone wants to start being tagged - lmk 💁 #fic snippet #my writing #my wips #911 fic #911 abc #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #buck x tommy #bucktommy wip #bucktommy the will talk fic #fireflight #firepilot #tevan #<- what shipname are we actually using lmao im lost (bucktommy and fireflight are my faves tho sns)

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!! #but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other? #i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened' #i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?' #i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal???? #am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it?? #i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

[oh-katsuki]

yk when someone dies and you just have to... sit with it.. and you're like... how do i tell people something is wrong. how do i tell people who never met them or knew them or spoke to them that something happened. and it feels selfish somehow to even talk about it out loud but at the same time for some reason you feel like you have to. like somehow you're telling a lie or being disrespectful or being self-indulgent. when the reality is that you just don't want to be alone in grief. but they didn't know them and even after saying something, you're alone anyway.

#i don't even know what to do with myself #for some reason #talking abt it here feels less intrusive than calling a friend and talking about it #but it still feels selfish for some reason #even though i know i just need to find a way to process #and i can't help but be like.. well i won't tell anyone because what if it's a mistake? #what if she's fine? and at home somewhere or in her kitchen singing? #or practicing for her next show #idk grief is weird #and i hate that i'll have to go to another friend's funeral. #tw: grief #tw: death #vent #personal