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ncteez · 1 year

Text

NEIGHBORLY (c.s.c. & k.m.g.)

When a single man moves in next door to you and your husband, it wasn’t difficult for either of you to take interest in what he could offer to the dynamic of your lives together. Unfortunately, the new interesting man appears to be afraid to admit that he’s curious as to what happens behind your very unlocked front door. or the one where your husband, seungcheol, fucks you in front of the window to help the neighbor get off and then said neighbor shows up at the door a week later.

ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | reblog to give gyucheol a kiss on the forehead

WORDCOUNT ― 18.8k

PAIRING ― husband seungcheol x afab reader x voyeur mingyu

CONTENT― husband!cheol, bachelor mingyu, open marriage, exhibitionism, voyeurism, second hand embarrassment, threesome, smut.

WARNINGS ― mentions of mingyu’s ex cheating on him, also seungcheol is assumed to be bisexual and/or he is attracted to mingyu too but there isn’t any dude on dude stuff. seungcheol does put his fingers in mingyu’s mouth tho, deal with it.

NOTE ― i cannot and i will not defend my actions. also, huge shoutout to @homerunhansol for proof reading this for me!!

smut tags below cut:

smut tags― exhibitionism, voyeurism, big dick cheol, HUGE dick mingyu, top/dom(ish) cheol, service top/shy/bottom(ish) mingyu, embarrassment kink???, mentions of porn, masturbation, phone sex kind of?? idk he calls mingyu so he can listen to the shit he’s seeing, alcohol consumption, finger fucking, clit stimulation, unprotected sex, tit fondling, raw grinding, oral (f & m receiving), deepthroating/facefucking, making out, dirty talk, pussy drunk men, cock drunk reader, double vaginal penetration, riding, missionary, finger sucking, cum stuffing, desperate desperate people!!!

Mingyu ran from a lot of things. He ran from his ex fiancée when she cheated, he ran from new opportunities out of fear of losing what he already had, ran from a cop once as a teenager for streaking near the old folk’s home. Running wasn’t exactly something he’s fond of but, more often than not it’s what his heart tells him to do.

As stated, the last time he ran away was when his fiancée was found in the bed he paid for with her co-worker. That’s when his need to run came in the most handy, having no qualms with giving her the apartment and everything in it. His job allowed him to leave without much of a financial hit, her’s wouldn’t.

The ring he bought stayed on her finger for some reason, the home he made became one she shared with any man that wasn’t him. It’s okay though, because to him, she can have it. He’s much more comfortable starting over than she would be. So, that’s what he does.

He has money, he has a good job, and now he has a lovely house of his own on a quaint little street on the other side of town. Far far away from her.

Starting over is equally as exhausting as it is exciting but, Mingyu keeps his chin up throughout the process. Making an empty house his new home, working his job as if his entire intimate life didn’t just fall apart, and of course, preparing himself to mingle with the new neighbors.

A month after moving, Mingyu had made platter after platter of food for neighbors as his greeting in an attempt to make friends. Many accepted and returned his dishes washed and unscratched. All are friendly to him but, the majority of people in this neighborhood are middle aged and a bit out of his league. There is one pair of neighbors who appear more around his age though, and interested in actual friendship with him. The pair who brought his dishes back full of their own offer of a decent dinner for him to eat on his own time.

Despite the majority of people living on this street being polite and fond of him as a newcomer, this specific couple appears to be the only ones without an entire family. Just like Mingyu. No children, free time to go out on the weekends, no minivans or babysitters coming every day during working hours. Naturally, he internally clings to the idea of them being his new friends, because his old group of friends consisted of his ex fiancée and her tight-knit group of pompous women and their boy toys.

Seungcheol is the husband’s name, and briefly he met you alongside him a few times. He assumes you must have your own interests to cater to, because each time he finds himself on his own front porch with Seungcheol talking and joking around, you rarely come with him. Save for the one or two times you did stay to hang out for a couple of hours.

After a few months, he’s managed to sprout friendship with the man next door who has a pretty wife with a ring on her finger. Mingyu tries not to internalize that he was supposed to be living the way Seungcheol is. Maybe he’s a bit jealous of the happiness in Seungcheol’s eyes when he talks about you, or maybe it makes him feel like he either wasn’t good enough as a partner, or his ex simply just didn’t love him anymore.

Still, even with the slight jealousy, Mingyu is comfortable around him. He’s never clicked with another man so quickly in terms of friendship, at least not without several shots of hard liquor to get himself comfortable. It’s definitely different with his neighbor.

The guy is open, kind, and occasionally pretty funny. He comes over a few nights a week with the claim of “man-time”. It’s been at least fifteen times since he officially met Seungcheol and comfort comes alongside him when he sits on this porch and they fuck around about menial things. Hanging out with him is arguably like a breath of fresh air.

Seungcheol though, he takes note of a lot of things that Mingyu doesn’t quite seem to notice himself. One, any time he mentions his wife, Mingyu’s eyes falter a bit. Two, he is clearly a single man and Seungcheol can’t quite grasp why that is because he’s a handsome dude, with a level personality. Three, there are slight self-deprecating jokes coming from Mingyu at least five times an hour and it’s starting to make him wonder. At first it can be funny, but after a while it kind of stops being a joke.

So, here they are, joking and having a nice conversation on Mingyu’s porch. It’s a Friday night and Seungcheol assumes they’re close enough by this point to really talk. You’re in the back of his mind, making offers, smirking about the new neighbor, laying down the interest flat out after merely meeting with him a few times. If Mingyu really is a single man, and if he’s as open minded as he seems, perhaps laying down some hints and an invite can help him out of this clear slump that he tries to pretend he’s not in.

“What about you? Do you have someone in your life?” Seungcheol asks after a solid twenty minutes of gushing about you. Internally knowing what he says about you is true, but also trying to sell the idea of how wonderful and sexy you are. He leans back as he studies Mingyu, noting the way he stiffens at the question.

Again, it’s clear that Mingyu is a single man with the way he’s always in this house alone before and after work. On the weekends, he’s sitting on his porch waiting for Seungcheol to come join him. Sometimes there’s a doubt though, because looking at him, anyone would believe he is taken. He is down to earth, funny, kind, handsome as hell. Maybe he does see people and Seungcheol just never catches it.

“Ah, no,” Mingyu avoids eye contact, trying to laugh it off as he confirms Seungcheol’s suspicions. He wants to talk about what happened though. He hasn’t been able to talk about it, and honestly, Seungcheol seems like a trusted friend at this point. “I was with someone for six years, asked her to marry me, and then we broke it off. That’s why I’m here now.”

“Oh yeah? Starting over, huh?” Seungcheol nods politely at him, figuring something like this may have happened. “Can I ask what happened?”

Mingyu shrugs nonchalantly, looking at Seungcheol with a carefree face and a smile.

“She wasn’t the most faithful, you know how it goes with those sorts of things, I guess.”

Seungcheol studies his face a bit more, seeing straight through that carefree attitude and noting the immense amount of hurt Mingyu must feel.

“I don’t, actually.” Seungcheol starts, watching Mingyu’s brow rise in confusion.

“Oh, that’s lucky.” He responds with a defeated shrug, almost wanting to roll his eyes. “You might be the first man I’ve ever met who hasn’t dealt with infidelity at some point. Even just as a teenager.”

“On the contrary,” Seungcheol says with a smirk, leaning towards Mingyu as if he has a secret to tell. “We fuck other people all the time.”

Mingyu stares at him as he processes those words. Unsure of it that means they both are cheating out of spite, or if they’re about to divorce or something.

“Sometimes in the same bed.”

Oh.

“At the same time.”

Seungcheol dead pan stares at Mingyu, searching for a reaction to his words. There have been many times where he and his wife invite someone to their bedroom, and many more times where the person ended up so freaked out that they ghosted the entire situation. Perhaps out of fear that Seungcheol doesn’t know what he’s doing with his wife. Many people can’t seem to fathom that possessiveness, jealousy, and competition aren’t part of the deal.

You married Seungcheol and he married you long after the two of you started doing this. The trial period was over before it even started. He loved watching you be pleasured, and you loved the way he looked at you as it happened. Of course, not all of the sex involves other people, but it never hurts the marriage when a third shows up.

“Oh–” Mingyu swallows around his dry throat, mind running in several directions at once. He’s not sure how to respond to that information. “That’s cool, I guess.”

Seungcheol stays silent, smirking a bit at the way Mingyu, so huge and broad, stutters to find the words to say. It’s not like he straight up invited him, not yet at least.

“I couldn’t imagine doing that, considering I just left my fiancée for fucking someone else.”

Seungcheol nods both understandingly and apologetically. People do tend to mix up the two. Is it cheating when he watches another man or woman fuck you? To some people, yeah but, monogamy is natural for many people.

“I assume she didn’t tell you that she would be fucking someone else.” Seungcheol shrugs, leaning back again. “I can imagine that even if she did tell you, you’d not have allowed it, right?”

Mingyu nods.

“It puts my stomach in knots to think of someone I love wanting to be with someone else.”

“That’s fair,” Seungcheol starts, glancing away and thinking of how to word what he wants to say. “What if someone else wanted you to fuck the person they love?”

Mingyu freezes again, unsure of if he’s thinking too hard about that question, or not enough.

“I’m sorry, what?” He asks defensively, looking his neighbor dead in the eye.

“I’m not saying you have to take up this offer but, I mean, you’re a single guy. I’m a married guy, with a wife who is incredibly curious about you.”

Mingyu continues to process the words, still overthinking it.

“Is this a joke?” He asks in a quieter voice, whispering as if the entire neighborhood can hear them.

“Are you attracted to her?” Seungcheol continues to press, wondering what it’ll take to get a simple yes or no out of him. He notes the way Mingyu’s ear goes red, and can’t tell if it’s because of the offer or because he’s afraid to call another man’s wife attractive.

“Here, let me rephrase,” He starts over, leaning forward again. “My wife thinks you’re, in her own words, ‘beautiful.’ She asks about you every time I come home from hanging out here, and she’s starting to get persistent.”

Mingyu, still at a loss for words, slowly nods.

“She’s pretty, yeah.” He says, now leaning himself toward Seungcheol and raising a brow in curiosity.

“As a single man, are you looking for love or are you looking for fun?” Seungcheol continues, prying answers out of him and smiling at the way it seems he was right in believing there is interest here.

“I just got out of a six year relationship, I’m not trying to do all of that again,” Mingyu shakes his head in disappointment. “Not for now, at least.”

“So, do you want to fuck my wife?”

Silence.

Seungcheol pinches the bridge of his nose momentarily, seemingly frustrated.

“Look, does it help to know that I want to watch you fuck my wife?”

Louder silence.

“Okay, you clearly need some time to think. Just, if you’re ever interested let me know. I can open the blinds if you want, like a sample or something.”

Seungcheol can see the way his eyes glisten at that offer through his silence. The wavering interest igniting right then and there. Ah, a voyeur, what a perfect addition to this neighborhood of dry vanilla cake. It’s not strange at all to see a monogamous man watching his footing in this situation, but the offer to watch is an entirely different thing from an offer to join right off the bat. Especially since there needs to be boundaries set if he decides he does want to fuck you.

For instance, when did he last get tested? Considering he got duped by his ex, that’s important. Does he like it raw? Does he know the ass belongs to Seungcheol? Etcetera.

“Can you say something? I’m starting to feel like I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“Ah, sorry. It’s just–” Mingyu leans back with a sigh of relief at the general questioning being over and done with. “Yeah, I need to think about it.”

“Don’t think too hard,” Seungcheol laughs. “It’s getting late so, if you need me I’ll be fucking my wife.”

Mingyu watches him stand on his feet and follows the action. Feeling both closer to him and also in a rut of wondering if their entire friendship will rely on whether he wants to fuck his wife or not. Should he like, hug him goodbye or something?

He stands awkwardly as Seungcheol studies him even more.

“Just think about it, really. She loves being watched too, if you don’t want to be involved directly.”

God, he can feel how red his ears and face have become, surely Seungcheol knows by now that the interest outweighs the concerns. And as Seungcheol turns to head down the steps, he calls out to him.

“Let’s say I’m interested but unsure of how to go about it, what then?”

Seungcheol turns to him and smiles, taking a few steps closer so that he doesn’t have to yell out to him.

“It’s sex. If you know how to fuck, you fuck.“

“And if I’m not entirely ready to throw myself into your marital bed?”

“Just let me know, like I said, opening the curtains isn’t the most insane sexual practice.”

Mingyu being the person looking through those curtains though…is it really not as insane as he’s thinking it is?

“So…?” You ask as soon as Seungcheol comes through the door, clinging to him with doe-eyes and a smile.

“He seems interested but,” Your husband slides off his shoes and heads straight for the couch to lay against it in a huff. “I don’t know. Just found out his ex cheated on him after like six years, I think the whole idea spooked him.”

“Ah, damn.” You look to the floor, and then make your way onto the couch with him. “What did you say?”

“I asked him if he wanted to fuck you.”

You narrow your eyes at him before rolling them with a frustrated sigh.

“Why would you ask him straight up like that? I cannot believe you pride yourself in being the talker of our sex life. It’s no wonder we have trouble finding people to join.”

Seungcheol looks at you with a fond smirk.

“Would you feel better if I told you that he admitted to thinking you’re pretty?”

You smile, warming up next to your husband and feeling entirely safe here.

“What about if I told you that right before I came back home, he said he was interested and just didn’t know how to go about it?”

A bigger smile forms on your face as you look up at him, devious eyes glistening in the warm lighting of your living room.

“I offered that he can just watch instead. If he takes up that offer, it won't be long before he’s banging on our front door ready to show us a good time.”

You reach up to brush some of his fringe out of his face before releasing a dreamy sigh.

“He’s so big. Like, even from here I can tell he must be packing. I hope you’re right.” You say as Seungcheol rolls his eyes, knowing damn well that Mingyu is your type and you’re probably never gonna shut up about him. “Can’t believe someone cheated on that.”

“Alright, alright.” He playfully complains, shoving you back against the couch and practically smothering you with his form as he flops down on you. “He hasn’t accepted yet, save those compliments for if he joins. He seems pretty shy, probably likes to be doted on.”

“Ooh, shy?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. He was actually stuttering when I made the offer, I don’t think he noticed how red his face got.”

You chuckle at the mental image of Mingyu being shy. You only had to meet him a few times to grow interest in him, but on first glance you’d think he would be the dominant type. It’s a welcome change that your husband thinks he’s the opposite.

“Do you think If I joined you next time, he might be more inclined to pull it out or something?”

“Absolutely not. I can imagine he wouldn’t even come out of his house if he saw you on his porch after what I said to him.”

“God, he’s cute.”

Seungcheol nods against you in agreement, finally pulling his weight from you and standing on his feet.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun to see where this leads. Now if you’ll just follow me to the bedroom, I also told him I’d be fucking you tonight so I’d like to make good on my promise.”

Fortunately for you, Seungcheol never makes a promise that he can’t keep.

For days Mingyu contemplates the things his neighbor said. Over the short time he’s known him, he clicked into friendship so easily and felt like he could trust him. Apparently, Seungcheol felt the same way because spilling all of those intimate details right there during a regular hang out was a bit out of the blue. Then again, he can’t imagine a married man would simply offer for anyone to fuck his wife, so the pros definitely outweigh the cons of this situation.

If it was a joke, he thinks he would know by now. All he’s gotten from Seungcheol since then is pleasant conversation as if the offer was never made to begin with. Which somehow makes it worse because he wants to talk about it. He wants more clarity.

God, since then, he’s had nothing but intrusive thoughts of fantasies he’s never considered before. He’s so horny out of his mind on a daily basis thinking about it, especially now that he doesn’t have his ex fiancée around. Porn has never been so loved by him until now. Even when he was a teenager, he never jerked off this much just to calm his thoughts.

The various types of porn he’s viewed within the past five days is insane. The post-nut guilt hit him pretty hard at first, sending him into both a sex crazed and sex starved stupor but, the interest only heightened from there as he would eventually start searching up porn related to the exact thing he’s been offered.

On the sixth night of contemplation, he peeks through his blinds at the house next door and notes the silence. He knows some wild things must happen in that bedroom and he wants to know what it is. Naturally, he starts searching up some keywords without really knowing what any of it entails.

He watches cuckold video after cuckold video, feeling his opinions of fucking another man’s wife validated by the amount of people who seem to love it the way he wants to. Then, exhibitionism comes into play. He watches at least ten videos involving said kink, his cock growing so pathetically hard at the fact that this could be a reality if he wants. Then, voyeurism.

Good lord, that’s him. All of these videos, at least in the ten more he watches, he can easily put himself in the shoes of watching. Which only makes it more arousing when he lands on a video that is clearly scripted, but entirely too similar to what his kind neighbors offered.

There, a man watches through his window, palming himself as a woman gets absolutely railed against her own window. The camera pans to and from both ends of the scenario, for five minutes he watches the woman get fucked from the man’s window view, and then for another five minutes, he watches the man pleasure himself from her view.

He watches intently, weeping cock twitching each time he closes his eyes and realizes that if he wanted it, that could be him. He could be the stranger in his window watching his neighbors get eachother off, except Mingyu isn’t a stranger.

He doesn’t even need to watch the video to imagine now. Thousands upon thousands of videos comfort him in the idea that yeah, maybe involving himself in a marriage that isn’t his own is okay. Seungcheol is a handsome guy, and pretty beefed up himself. Then there’s you, such a pretty fucking woman, walking around like you don’t like to get fucked by multiple people as your husband watches.

Goddamn, if there’s any couple he’d want to be involved with, it would be you and your husband.

Okay, maybe he’s interested and maybe that interest plays out the next day. Or rather, the next evening. Another Friday night, when Seungcheol usually comes over to hang out except this time Mingyu doesn’t respond to his texts until much later. Out of both nervousness and his own mind games hyping himself up.

If he’s gonna watch, he doesn’t want Seungcheol to see him a mere hour or two before it happens, at least.

Now though, ten at night, he hyped up his cock the same way he hyped up his mentality. When he’s horny, it’s much easier for him to work up the courage to lay down his own hints, to show his own interest, and to play along with things he’s never delved into.

Mingyu: Hey um

Seungcheol: here I was thinking you were ignoring me or something

Mingyu: can i ask about something?

Hell yeah he can.

Seungcheol: oh? you finally warmed up to the idea?

Mingyu: i’m just curious.

Seungcheol peeps out his own window to see Mingyu’s blinds very quickly close.

Seungcheol: why’d you back away from the window?

Mingyu: i don’t know, i feel like a weirdo

Seungcheol: i invited you to watch me fuck my wife, Mingyu.

No response.

There’s a few moments of silence on Seungcheol’s end as he turns to you and flicks his head to the window.

“I’m ninety percent sure he wants me to fuck you in front of that window right now.”

“Oh?” You perk up in interest, hopping up from the bed and running over to the window beside your husband and peeking out. “Open them up then. If he watches, he watches.”

Seungcheol nods, looking down at the silence of his text messages and smirking. You’re right, if Mingyu wants to watch, he will.

And so, as you go make yourself up in the bathroom for a good first impression, Seungcheol is quick to work himself up now too. Given, the two of you were about to call it a night and simply sleep since the day was quite exhausting, this is a welcome change of events. After all, Seungcheol knows how you act when you’re both horny and exhausted. He’s sure Mingyu will love it if he works up the courage to just look.

After a few minutes more of silence from Mingyu’s message box, you make your way back into the room and stare at the window.

“Is his bedroom lined up with ours?” You ask, quirking a brow.

“I assume so, yeah.” Seungcheol shrugs, still palming against himself lazily to get ready to put on a show.

“Oh, this could be really fun.” You say, now moving toward the window and pulling at the curtains to move them completely from Mingyu’s presumed view.

Seungcheol follows suit, raising the blinds so fast that the sound is almost laughable.

“Should I go ahead and take off my clothes, or?” You ask now, noting the way Mingyu’s blinds are still very much closed.

“Put this on, tie it loosely and let it fall open for him.” Seungcheol smiles, handing you the silk robe you only ever wear when a third is joining you.

“Oooh, perfect. Let him pine for it.” You laugh with a wiggle of your brows, stepping away from the window to completely undress and put on the robe.

Seungcheol finally texts Mingyu again when you get yourself situated, right there in the view of his dark and silent home.

Seungcheol: blinds are open, feel free to watch.

Thank god Mingyu has read receipts on, because right as Seungcheol goes to lock his phone and play with you, he notes that it’s been read and instantly glues himself against your back.

“He read the messages, keep your eyes at his window, see if he watches.” Seungcheol whispers before snaking an arm around you and slipping it under your robe to instantly rub against your clit.

You do exactly as he says, gluing your eyes to the window directly across from you as you slightly spread your legs and grip the windowsill. Seungcheol is good at this, always great with putting on a show too. You know for a fact that even if Mingyu doesn’t watch, you’re going to be seeing stars whenever your husband deems it appropriate.

“You think he’s gonna do it?” You ask curiously, trying not to immediately lose yourself to the feeling of his fingers against your clit, or the hand he’s currently slipping through your robe to grope and squeeze your tits.

“We can only hope, until then, just enjoy it.” Seungcheol smiles against your neck, kissing the back of it before resting his chin on your shoulder, trying to work you up to where you start to slowly lose your sanity like you always do.

It works out perfectly for him, knowing that whether Mingyu watches or not, he’s going to make damn sure you’re taken care of. His fingers expertly slide up and down the delicate folds of your arousal, and his other hand pinches and rolls your nipple to the point that it’s swollen and sensitive. His kisses against your neck become peppered and gentle as he feels your legs start to shake a bit each time his fingers reach your clit again.

You try to turn your head to look at him, but he laughs again.

“No, keep your eyes on the window.” He says in a raspy whisper, pressing his barely clothed cock against your ass. Thankfully, he’s adjusted himself to where just the tip pokes out of his boxers and feeling the coolness of the silk robe offer a delicate sensation, it satiates his needs for now. “Feels good even like this, right?” He asks, sliding his fingers down to tease with your hole.

You nod against him, breathing in deeply and turning to jelly against him. You love and hate the way he makes your body react. It’s hard to keep your eyes on that window across from you when you’re being offered sheer arousal right behind you.

“Mm, you always get so wet when you know someone might be watching.” Your husband compliments you, dipping his fingers in before sliding them out again and running them up to swirl around your clit with more pressure than before. “God, you’re really soaking my fingers already babe, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on–”

You let out a small moan, frustrated that you want Seungcheol to be right. If only Mingyu would take the two of you up on the offer. If only he would actually glimpse even for a moment. You clench at the idea of those blinds opening, grinding harshly against Seungcheol’s hand with a desperate sort of sound.

Right then, you see movement next door. Seungcheol can tell with the way your pussy grips his fingers tightly when he slides them back into you, and you let out a genuine and desperate moan. He flicks his eyes up, now noting the movement himself.

The way you writhe your body at the mere confirmation that Mingyu is watching is insanely erotic to your husband. Whether it’s out of curiosity or if it’s out of arousal, it doesn't matter. He loves the way you get so turned on so fast, and with this being the situation, he’s not surprised that you seem more desperate than usual. Plus, the fact that those blinds stay parted shows that Mingyu likes what he’s seeing, and you couldn’t be more aroused by the thought of what he must be doing behind the veil of his own window-blinds.

Seungcheol chuckles gently in your ear as you continue to lose your mind on his fingers, he can tell that now you’re moving to turn both him and Mingyu on, rather than just him like moments ago. You grind more, you whine more, you get increasingly more wet.

And as you stare forward to the little space in Mingyu’s window where his eyes sit, you grow more and more frustrated with the way he doesn’t open the blinds up. You want to see him too, you need to see how he likes to touch himself.

Seungcheol can tell through your frustrated moans that you need more, and like the doting husband he is, he offers a solution fairly quickly.

“What’s wrong?” He coos, fucking his fingers in again at an angle, deepening them inside of you and holding your waist in place. “He’s not giving you what you want, is he?”

You nod brokenly, finally tearing your eyes from the window and shooting a pleading look to your husband, rolling your eyes back only slightly when his fingertips bump the soft and sensitive spot inside of you.

“Use my phone, text him.” Seungcheol smiles, holding your waist in place tighter so he can fuck his fingers in at a harsher pace. You tremble in his grasp, unsure if you can even process the idea of texting right now. “Tell him to let you see him.”

You nod, smiling through the sensitivity of your g-spot being repeatedly assaulted, clearly on purpose, surely to have you going fucking feral. Reaching for the phone, your hands are trembling as you unlock it and read over the messages from before with Mingyu. His curiosity is hopefully strong enough to actually stick around for the next however long, because god, you want him to see you fall apart.

Seungcheol: open your blinds, let me see

Mingyu watches you text as your body jerks with each hidden movement of Seungcheol’s hand under that robe, and when his phone goes off he almost panics. Almost. He drops his length and grabs his phone in one hand while using the other to keep the split of his blinds open enough to keep watching. Fighting the feeling of appearing like a damn stalker, despite his hips rubbing his achingly hard cock against the trim of the window.

The way Seungcheol stares from behind you, the way you smirk through faces of pleasure at what he’s doing to you, at what he must be saying to you. Mingyu has never felt so fucking aroused watching someone have what he wants. The way you skew your head to listen to what your husband is saying, the way his hands move to places he can’t see. Arguably, you look like the most fuckable person on this planet at the moment and it’s incredibly difficult to not want to fuck something, anything, right now.

Mingyu knows he’s done for if he so much as grips his own cock by now. So quickly the thought of doing this made his pathetic cock weep against his briefs, and now, seeing it happen in real time just across the yard. Yeah, he could come within seconds if he doesn’t try to control it. Upon reading your text though, he finds himself following precise directions and opens the blinds for you to reveal himself.

His face flushes seeing you in full without the blinds cutting off his peripheral vision. It kind of hits him differently realizing he’s in his own quiet bedroom fucking himself to the image of you propped up against the window for him. It’s embarrassing and he feels entirely pathetic when you look at him like this. Both so far away and so close at the same time. His senses are heightened tenfold the moment he sees you react.

An accidental moan splills from his lips, the sound breaking the heavy silence of his home and echoing through the walls as if to tell whatever ghosts that live here that he definitely wants to fuck around with the married couple next door. Your attraction to him only heightens the confidence he holds within himself.

You, on the other hand, can feel your arousal drip out of you and onto your husband’s hand at seeing Mingyu coming into full view. Your hand grips at your husband’s, clumsily allowing yourself to feel the sheer force of how his fingers are plunging into you just at the right moment. You roll your head back briefly, basking in the pleasure of being fucked and watched.

“Don’t look away babe,” Seungcheol says, flicking his eyes to Mingyu. “He’s so hard.”

You weakly lift your head again, opening your darkened eyes and looking directly at the man through the window. His hair is a mess, fanning across his forehead, and he’s shirtless, revealing the abs you only assumed he had at first glance. His cock is heavy against his dark gray briefs, stretching the fabric out enough to tell you that, yeah, he is packing.

You make eye contact with him, staring straight into his eyes as you press your ass back and against Seungcheol, who readily accepts the movement and presses his cock directly against you with a soft sigh of his own.

“Already?” He whispers to you with an amused chuckle, stilling his fingers and dropping his other hand to toy at the tie of your robe, hopefully so it falls open naturally at a quicker pace now that you appear to be losing it.

“Right now.” You respond in a desperate voice, hiking one leg up against the table off to the side and feeling your robe instantly fall open.

Your eyes devour the image of Mingyu’s mouth falling open in what you can only assume is a moan at your naked body being revealed to him. Instantly, you shoot your hand to your chest and start toying with one of your nipples for him. Shooting a hungry gaze straight across the way and making obvious suggestions at him through it.

Seungcheol from behind you is seemingly in his own little world when he shoves his boxers down and arches your back with his palm so that your ass lifts for him, instantly you can feel his cock between your legs. He takes a step back, pulling you with him and removing your leg from the table to position you in a way that if Mingyu looks hard enough, he can see the way his cock will slide beautifully between your thighs.

“Not yet babe, let’s play first.” Seungcheol soothes you through the disappointed sigh of your leg being pulled down. You were so ready to start fucking immediately, but of course he wants to make a good first impression. “Hold your legs together.”

You listen perfectly, feeling Seungcheol’s cock slide easily between your thighs.

“God, fuck–” He moans, feeling the wetness of you drip down onto his length as you squeeze your thighs together as tightly as possible. “He would go insane over you.”

“He already is,” You chuckle weakly, staring at the way Mingyu’s hand snakes under his briefs and tugs against himself. “I want to see it so bad.”

“Mm, yeah, I bet you do.” Seungcheol responds mindlessly, loving the feeling your thighs offer to his desperate length. “Tell him then.”

Right then, Mingyu can see a mischievous little smile form across your lips as he struggles already not to release against his perfectly cleaned window. The way Seungcheol manhandles you is one thing, with his big hands gripping onto your flesh just to pound his cock between your legs– fuck. But, the way both of you stare straight at him is another. Mingyu might be obsessed with the way the two of you touch each other intentionally to get all three of you off. So badly does he want to be right there in the room, hearing you in his ear, watching Seungcheol kiss across your skin and massage your pretty sensitive pussy. One that he hasn’t entirely even gotten to see yet.

Then, he jumps as his phone rings.

From your end, you watch as he jumps out of surprise, glances at his phone, then back at you, shaking his head with a wince as he grips his cock again.

“He’s not going to pick up.” You comment as the tightened squeeze of your thighs loosen up with disappointment.

Seungcheol is instantly smiling, letting his cock fall from its place of stimulation and is pulling you back, back, back. Offering a full view of him falling back on the bed, with you falling with him.

“Show him your pussy.” Seungcheol says, reaching around you to open your thighs as if you’re a grand prize for this little sex game of trying to seduce a broken hearted man.

Seungcheol knows he has an entire list of positions he could do to get Mingyu just as desperate as you get. Usually, presenting his wife’s pussy at another man is enough to have them making decisions they previously doubted. He hopes Mingyu reacts the same, because if he’s being totally honest with himself, saying no to you when you’re spread out like this is a fucking sin.

You stare at Mingyu when your husband spreads your legs, pussy pulsing around nothing more than the stare being directed at it. And there, sitting on Seungcheol’s hips with your back facing him, you easily hold your legs open and slide your fingers down to circle your clit.

You stay like that for a moment, squinting to see Mingyu’s reaction and noting the way his hand fucks faster under the fabric of his briefs. You want him to go harder, so hard that he needs to take that last remaining bit of clothing off of him so that you can see. Thankfully, Seungcheol’s cock lies right below where your ass is sitting , and it’s easy to grasp it and hold it up against your folds. You grid against it gently before swirling your clit along the length of him, still staring at Mingyu with a smile. As if to tell him, “this could be you.”

The way Mingyu’s hand moves faster is one thing, the way he looks more unashamed now compared to when you first saw him in that window is another. The way his arms flex as he keeps his cock hidden beneath those briefs, jerking himself off desperately as if you can’t tell he’s struggling not to moan loud enough for you to hear even from here, it’s too fucking erotic.

Never have you and your husband had a neighbor to play with like this. Typically, you’re being watched in the same room, this is something entirely different. This is insanely arousing and you can feel your pussy clench each time you’re reminded of how fucking sweet this deal could be.

“Play with yourself,” Seungcheol continues to instruct through a half-moan, feeling the way you rub his length against you as a form of masturbation. “I’ll call him again.”

This time, you note how the phone rings once before Mingyu is fumbling to answer. You see the way his hand stills to put his focus on saying “hello?” as if he doesn’t know it’s you and your husband. As if the people calling him aren’t watching him fuck himself.

Seungcheol starts immediately though, his words driving you insane enough to know Mingyu would have to react in a way that sends him over edge too.

“You wouldn’t believe how wet she is,” Your husband boasts without greeting him back, putting the phone on speaker and lying it next to the two of you. “I bet you would love to bury your tongue in her right now, wouldn’t you?”

Mingyu nearly stutters as he hears the words, staring at the way you hold Seungcheol’s cock right where you want it to grind against. It’s so much to be able to see and hear what’s happening, and it’s like something in his head clicks. He’s so fucking turned on that he feels like he’s going insane, so he puts his normal, level-minded self to rest. No room for embarrassment when his cock is already aching for the couple who seem to want him just as bad.

“Fuck, yeah,” Mingyu sighs out, lying his own phone down against the window sill and fucking his hips forward into his hand. His briefs now stretched out to the point that they truly are more of an issue than anything else right now. “I would, god, how wet?”

You moan at how desperate his voice sounds, now pressing your clit directly against the head of Seungcheol’s cock and deliberately making yourself moan from pleasure. When he flashes his cock to you though, fuck. Just barely he lowers his briefs, palm teasing himself in such a harsh way. He looks so pretty over there, all alone, watching someone else get to play with you like some kind of pervert.

“That’s it,” You say, knowing he can hear you. “Let me see you.”

Mingyu does, shoving his briefs down entirely now, allowing you to imprint the image of how thick and heavy his length is in your brain permanently.

“I can already imagine how good it would feel to have you stretching me out,” You half-groan, now inching your husband’s cock straight to your hole and preparing to fuck the daylights out of him. “I knew you’d have a cock just as pretty as you.”

Seungcheol chuckles from behind you, entirely aroused by the way you talk to another man, a more shy man. He can tell how desperate you are by now too, especially with the way you toy with his cock as if you picked it up from a store shelf and it’s not attached to him. He loves it. And when he sits up, wrapping his arms around you to also see Mingyu, he smiles.

Fucking both of you are totally gone. Even from here he can tell Mingyu is losing his mind over you. Thankfully, you deserve nothing less and Seungcheol couldn’t be happier to play off of the way you both seem to want each other terribly.

“See this?” He says, snaking his hand around you to move his cock and spreading your pussy lips.”Can you not see how wet she is?”

Both of you can hear Mingyu’s muffled groan before you see it, his head falling forward against the window as he stares down at his hand and the way he fucks it. You’re entirely satisfied, because you know what he’s thinking. You can see how badly he wants it, and your husband does nothing but remind him of it.

“Do you want me to fuck him?” You finally ask, pushing your own agenda and raising up on your knees to situate yourself right above Seungcheol’s length, where he takes over and holds it in place for you.

Mingyu’s eyes shoot back to the two of you and he nods before breathing out a small “Yeah…”

He doesn’t seem like much of a talker, but it could still be stage fright. Even if he isn’t the one on the damn stage. You can imagine he would get better at this if he accepts the invite of your open blinds on more than one occasion.

Seungcheol chuckles again at him, the breathy tone of his voice is quite obvious to him. Mingyu is holding out, he doesn’t want to come too soon and end the fun.

“You heard him babe, ride me.”

Instantly, you’re sinking down and feeling the harsh stretch of Seungcheol’s cock pulsing inside of you. Your drawn out moan rings in Mingyu’s mind as he watches the slow descent. Only now noting how big Seungcheol’s length is, and seeing how well you take it. He twitches in his palm, eyes nearly rolling back to escape the overwhelming arousal that floods his thoughts.

Mingyu isn’t sure if either of you are aware, but he can hear how wet you are through the phone. When you slide down and start bouncing your ass, all while staring forward at him, he can hear it pour out of you. The slapping of your ass landing against Seungcheol is a beautiful sound, and he does his best not to moan through it and muffle those sounds out.

He stares straight back at you, thinking hard enough at how he fucks the circle his fingers create. He’s losing his breath when he fucks his fist in time with the way you bounce, tuning into your face and imagining that he’s the one you’re riding. No offense to Seungcheol, it’s nearly like he doesn’t exist right now considering he’s almost entirely hidden by you.

That doesn’t last too long though, because Seungcheol makes himself well known through his breathy words. Dirty talking in a way that somehow, Mingyu still finds himself shocked by it. The words turn him on, he can only imagine how you feel about.

“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight. I bet you’d love to be spread out for both of us,” Seungcheol says at first, gripping your thighs and basking in the way you squeeze his length each time Mingyu does something to turn you on. “Don’t you think he would love to feel how you drip from this?”

Mingyu feels so shameless, and for some reason it feels okay. Your husband is dirty talking to you about him and it’s insanely sexy when he hears it. Already stuttering his hips in his palm, especially when he notes that Seungcheol moves his hands to your pussy and spreads it open again for him. Offering him the perfect view of his length sliding in and out of you.

“Would love to see how this pussy gets filled up, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Unsure of if Seungcheol is talking to you or to him at this point, Mingyu answers without thinking.

“Fuck, fuck. Yeah–” Mingyu says with a cut-off groan, holding the base of his cock so tight he feels like he can’t breathe. He can’t release yet, he has to keep going.

You moan loudly at his breathed out answer, nodding your head frantically at the confirmation, answering for yourself shortly after.

“You’d make me come so fast, Gyu, I know you’d know how to fuck me,” You start, not realizing the shortened version of the name you’d called out.

And then he moans brokenly through the phone which instantly has you leaning yourself back, and lying against Seungcheol’s chest. He falls back with you, holding you and once again and moving his fingers to your clit, his cock still pounding in at the perfect pace.

“Fuck, she’s there–” Seungcheol grits out, feeling your orgasm wash over you and grip his cock insanely tightly. “Goddamn, feels so good babe, that’s right.”

Mingyu, watching and listening, instantly releases the grip on the base of his cock, staring straight at the way Seungcheol stuffs his length inside of you. The nickname you called him echoes in his head, and then he stutters out a broken sob as he feels his own orgasm wash over him, and just like him, you’re also listening.

He must hold his breath when he’s close, or maybe he’s just way more shy than he appears to be, considering what he’s doing right now, but you don’t mind as you ride your own high. Ears popping shortly after when Seungcheol continues to chase his own pleasure within your dripping heat.

Strangely enough, even Seungcheol is shocked at how fast he comes from this. Releasing a mere two seconds after you relaxed around him. You can feel him pulse inside of you as you lie against him, pussy still on full display, cum dripping out of you in a beautiful scene for Mingyu’s eyes to devour.

And devour, they do. Mingyu just stares, head spinning as he ignores the spurts of cum hitting his window and dripping down onto his carpet. His hand is also drenched in his own heat and he makes no attempt to move afterwards. Arguably, he’s still aroused by the image of the way your husband fills you up with his own seed, and the way you’re so full of his cock that it dribbles out and onto your thighs.

God, he wants to lick you so bad. Even now, fully spent and his sober-mind coming back to him, he wants to taste you.

“Mingyu,” Seungcheol calls out, breaking the silence with an out of breath voice. “You still watching?”

There’s another moment of paused silence.

“Yes– I am.”

Seungcheol smiles, nuzzling his face against you and your neck as you continue to lean against him out of breath. Slowly, he pulls out of you, once again spreading you open for Mingyu to see, allowing the rest of his cum to drip out of you.

“Take a good look, because this pussy went fucking insane over you.”

Mingyu does look. He has been looking. Honestly, it’s almost embarrassing at the way his cock twitches with interest again, so fucking fast after having already been emptied.

“I’ll be coming over tomorrow to discuss this.” Seungcheol adds nonchalantly, easily going from filth-talk to casual-talk. “Get some rest.”

“Goodnight, Pretty boy,” You call out with a dazed smile, finally moving yourself off of Seungcheol and adjusting your robe back onto your shoulders.

And right before Seungcheol hangs up the phone, both of you smile at each other at the way Mingyu lets out, in the tiniest voice for such a big man, a gentle little “Goodnight.”

By morning, Mingyu nearly forgot Seungcheol said he was coming over. It wasn’t until the afternoon when he managed to get the image of you getting off out of his mind that he remembered there’s supposed to be a discussion about it.

Embarrassment hits him harder than it ever has, thinking about what he was doing for both of you to see. It wasn’t just a show for him, he put one on for the two of you as well.��

When he makes his way back into his bedroom, he tries to ignore the fact that your blinds are still open, and there’s no one in the room. He pauses briefly, once again trapped in the on-going loop of what he saw happening on that very bed just the night before.

It feels like he’s doomed when Seungcheol comes over. He could just not answer the door but it doesn’t change the fact that he lives right next door and he already came all over his window before your very eyes. Before Seungcheol’s very eyes. He’s already crossed the boundary into someone else’s marriage and despite loving the idea of it, it’s scary. It’s not something he’s ever considered doing before meeting the two of you, and now, he’s kind of just confused as to how all of this works.

Like, it almost seems too sweet of a deal. You’re a beautiful couple, who is he to be able to watch what you do with your husband? What’s the catch?

Well, he comes to find out that there isn’t much of a catch at all. Seungcheol shows up with a warm smile and a gift of wine. It felt welcoming but, insanely awkward with the way it’s the first time Mingyu has ever been offered a hug by him.

They hug. Seungcheol fucking hugs him to say hello with that expensive ass bottle of wine as if to say “nice cock, my wife loved it.”

Seungcheol does pick up on the awkwardness though, stepping through Mingyu’s door and inviting himself in. After all, it’s only appropriate at this point. He keeps his smile though, loving the way you woke up in a good mood all thanks to Mingyu letting his curiosity get the best of him.

“Don’t be like that,” Seungcheol says, glancing around the house and nodding in approval that it doesn’t appear to be entirely barren. He kind of expected the house to not feel like a home, because that’s usually what single men do. “You can back out anytime you want.”

Mingyu, somehow, feels eased by those words. His heart thumps against his chest at the thought of never doing it again though. Which is kind of weird to him.

“Sorry, I just don’t really know how to act around you after that.”

Seungcheol offers him a warm smile again, seeing himself to the kitchen and opening the drawers.

“We can talk about that,” He waves him off, still rummaging through a kitchen that isn’t his own. “You got a corkscrew?”

Mingyu nods, trying to make his huge frame seem as small as possible by tip-toeing past his neighbor with the huge cock and opening one of the only drawers he didn’t get to. He pulls out the corkscrew and hands it to him, making no attempt to look into his eyes even for a second.

“Oh my god, loosen up.” Seungcheol rolls his eyes, shoving Mingyu by the shoulder playfully and heading back to the bottle of wine.

Mingyu feels slightly comforted by the fact that maybe he can loosen up with a bit of wine in his system, but getting to that point feels like it’s going to be hell. He’s never felt so embarrassed.

“Sorry,” He responds in a small voice, grabbing two random cups and following Seungcheol. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to expect out of this whole thing, like,”

Seungcheol cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

“That’s why I’m here to talk to you about it. Clearly this isn’t something you’ve done before, it’s not like we didn’t want you to get off or anything. You’ll come to learn that we enjoy this kind of thing.”

He pauses as he opens the bottle, shifting it to the side now to grab two cups and look at Mingyu.

“If you end up not enjoying it, there’s always someone else we can find to take up the offer.”

Mingyu very nearly panics, hoping it doesn’t show plainly on his face as he takes over pouring the wine. Seungcheol picks up on people so easily, watching Mingyu shake his head slightly at the words and pour a suspiciously nervous amount of wine into both cups.

“That’s the thing though,” Mingyu says, popping the cork back into the bottle and already taking a swig of his wine. “I did enjoy it.”

Seungcheol raises his brow, nodding his head in encouragement and grabbing his own cup before following Mingyu to his living room.

“Good, I’m glad you had fun. Let’s talk about it then.”

Mingyu knows it’s inevitable, and hopefully within the next hour, he won’t feel so cautious in talking about it.

“You know, usually I wouldn’t let her come so fast,” Seungcheol shrugs, standing to grab the bottle of wine and bring it into the living room. “I tend to try and get a few out of her but she just wasn’t going to let me. Did you see the way she grabbed it and sat on me? I couldn’t have stopped her even if I wanted to.”

The way Seungcheol talks loudly and comfortably about it is kind of soothing. Given, this is probably why they’re opting to hang out inside of the house rather than outside. This is a private matter, an intimate one, even.

“She slept like a rock afterwards, and is now insisting we keep the blinds open at all times to view at your discretion.”

Mingyu stutters a bit, scooting his cup towards Seungcheol and hoping he pours another generous amount into his cup. Already, since he doesn’t drink too often these days, he can feel the buzz and comfort settles within him as Seungcheol seemingly dotes on him.

“What I’m trying to say is, our blinds are permanently open unless you’d rather not do this. Alternatively, the door is open too, but,” Seungcheol pauses so he can sip his drink. “You’re going to need to get tested first if you want that thing anywhere near my wife.”

Mingyu shifts slightly, squeezing his legs together uncomfortably as his wine bubbles in his belly.

“I’ve already been tested. My ex cheated on me with god knows how many people, you think that wasn’t the first thing I did?”

“Smart man,” Seungcheol claps him on the shoulder, now leaning in a bit too close for comfort if Mingyu were still in his embarrassed mind-state. “We get that you’re shy about all of this, but I’ve gotta tell you, her pussy really did grip every single time you moaned.”

Mingyu’s eyes start to shine at the compliment, for some reason feeling like he’s on top of the world hearing that.

“Felt like I was being strangled, honestly.” Seungcheol laughs before going quiet. “So, what do you think?”

Mingyu pauses, staring at his cup and then at his neighbor.

“I, um–” He sighs out of frustration, wondering why he can’t articulate a damn sentence with confidence. “I liked watching, I guess. Not sure if I’m ready to just…”

“Come fuck my wife?” Seungcheol says playfully before immediately gripping Mingyu’s shoulder and laughing fondly at him. “Take your time. Like I said, the blinds are open and we have a pretty active sex life. I can imagine you’re going to wonder how I’m not milked dry yet.”

He already wonders that.

“But I do want to say, if you decide to actually come over and show her a good time, there are rules to that.”

Mingyu quirks a brow, unsure of if his mind is running in a way that will let him take down mental notes.

“First of all, she’s protected so as long as you can provide proof of your test you can come in her all you want, she likes that but, you’re not touching her ass.”

Mingyu nods, shrugging nonchalantly and surprised he even responded that way.

“She likes it rough but she doesn’t know you enough yet. Don’t slap my wife, don’t grab her neck with the intention of choking her, and don’t call her any type of degrading name. Not yet, at least.”

Wow, his brain is actually taking down the mental notes perfectly. Even with these rules, he’s not entirely into hitting the person he wants to be inside of, not unless they ask anyway.

“That’s it. Those are the rules.” Seungcheol says with a shrug, taking another drink and tapping his foot on the floor. “What about you? For possible future endeavors, what’re your terms?”

There’s a long pause. Mingyu is totally unprepared to make rules for a situation he’s never even been involved with before, but he does his best.

“Well,” He breathes out, blowing a strand of his fringe up from his forehead in a huff. “I don’t know. Don’t put anything in my ass?”

“That’s no fun,” Seungcheol deadpans, then nods. “But fair, okay. What else?”

Mingyu continues to let his eyes wander around his living room as he thinks of things he doesn’t like sexually.

“I really don't know. I’ve mostly just had vanilla sex. I can tell you what I do like?” He admits, knowing that all of this is just in case.

“Alright, go on then.” Seungcheol nods, now topping off their drinks.

It’s actually hilarious to him, hearing Mingyu list off the most mundane sex acts. He does his best not to chuckle at the mention of “blow jobs, I like those.” Instead, he offers something along with that, interrupting him.

“Ever been deep throated?” Seungcheol asks, watching Mingyu breathe in because it’s like he lost all of his breath trying to list off things he likes. “Like, you know, ever face-fucked?”

Mingyu nods, then shakes his head, then nods.

“Define both of those. I mean, my ex never really let me hold her head in place, but I tried once. And don’t even get me started on the way she would refuse to continue if she gagged even once.”

Seungcheol shakes his head in pity.

“Man, you’re gonna love my wife.”

Well, to put it lightly, Mingyu might, definitely, insanely, obsessively be in love with you. Not in like the “leave your husband” way but more in like the “i want you so bad and know that i’m allowed to have you if i’d just stop being a little bitch about it” way.

It’s been another entire week since Seungcheol came over to discuss things with him and even more so now, is Mingyu’s mind in the gutters. He’s thankful he’s good at his job, almost able to do everything needed without much thought behind it because if that weren’t the case, he would probably be fired by now.

Fired for being too horny at work isn’t something he ever considered would happen to himself, and though it hasn’t and probably won’t, he isn’t too shocked at this point to be learning more and more about these hidden little interests that only came to light when he met you and your husband.

Those blinds do stay open, and that little bedside lamp in your bedroom has become one of his favorite things. One, because it illuminates the way your body moves when Seungcheol inevitably fucks you, two, because it’s actually a pretty nice lamp and he kind of wants one for his own bedroom.

And god, his window. His poor fucking window. Four out of the seven nights since Seungcheol came over has he been standing right there, blinds open, getting himself off. He knows he’s a pervert by this point. He embraces it now, knowing for a fact that you’re also embracing it, and even Seungcheol is too.

The embarrassment that hits him after each time he releases hurts much less than the post-nut guilt of all that porn he was watching before all of this happened. He’s not sure why, but there’s something inside of him that tells him it’s because he’s wanted. He’s being fawned over by an entire married couple and it makes his confidence go through the fucking roof.

That second time he stood at his window, he was still unsure of it. But now, three more sessions later, he finds himself considering the offer of being in the room. Each time he thinks he should do it. You know, like release his cock mid-jerk off session just to run next door and barge into the room to bury himself inside of you, all while Seungcheol allows it to happen and praises him for manning up to do it.

He hasn’t yet though, because most of the time he struggles to pull his eyes away from how fucking good the two of you look together. And you know, to him, when he thinks about actually being in that room with the two of you, there’s still some shame left in him about it.

Something about the idea of joining a married couple despite how much he loves watching them, the idea of them asking him multiple times to work his body on you, the idea of them leaving their blinds open just so he can get off at his own volition.

It’s such an insane fantasy come to life and the shame he feels about actually following through stays despite it wavering with each time he watches and listens in by calling you himself to hear you moan.

Again, by now, an entire week later and several sessions of pure voyeurism, he questions that shame and wonders how much it’ll take to ignore it. Next time for sure he’s going to go over there. Next time, he’s going to put that shame to rest like he did the first time with simply watching.

That next time doesn’t happen though, because you’re not wandering around your room naked for Mingyu to see when his alarm goes off. Because yeah, it’s kind of a ritual now to look out the window and nod a little “good morning” to you and your tits.

When he looks outside near the afternoon, both cars in your driveway are gone and it hits him over how fixated he is on the two of you. It feels almost empty seeing the two of you gone on a weekend, when Seungcheol is usually texting him to see if he wants to hang out.

By this point for him, yes, come over please.

Then, relief washes over him when he hears Seungcheol’s car pull into the driveway. The amount of pining within Mingyu at this moment is driving him insane. It’s only four in the afternoon by this point and his mind is reeling. Going miles a minute and honestly, he needs this overwhelming feeling to be eradicated.

He needs to do it.

Seungcheol is shocked as he sits eating his dinner to the sound of a knock at his door. He’s swift when he stands to his feet and answers it.

“Oh, was gonna text you to hang out after dinner–” He pauses, realizing this is the first time Mingyu has ever been on his doorstep save for when he greeted them with a meal after he moved in. He eyes him up and down momentarily before smirking. “Well, well, well.”

Mingyu doesn’t quite make eye contact as he stands there and shoves the proof of his tests into Seungcheol’s chest, already regretting the decision to come over without so much as texting.

“Showing up looking like this, already hard too?” Seungcheol says snidely, glancing at the results and leaning himself against his door frame. His eyes stare directly at Mingyu’s obvious raging hard-on beneath his pants, then he glances up at his face.

Mingyu appears to be both ashamed and proud, presenting himself like a damn virgin.

“Relax, it’s cool. You can come in,” Seungcheol finally says, trying to ease the tension that seems to be festering within his friend. “I’ll call and see if she’s coming home tonight.”

Mingyu is fucking mortified. Of course he’s bad at timing. Of fucking course he shows up ready to fuck and you’re not even here. Now he’s just left standing just inside of the front door with a desperate and pathetic cock that, for some reason, still isn’t even going down.

“She’s. not. here.” Mingyu says to himself loud enough for Seungcheol to throw a laugh at him, putting the phone up to his ear after pressing the call button.

“She went to see her parents. I bet the second I tell her you’re standing there like that, hot ‘n hard, she’ll be running red lights.”

Mingyu is flushed. Entirely aroused by this whole situation despite the embarrassment. The last thing he needs to admit to right now though, is getting off on the shameful way he’s acting. He knows he looks desperate, and that…for some reason, makes him feel proud.

He’s so in his head that he doesn’t even hear Seungcheol talk to you. Completely misses the way he says into the phone “hey babe, guess who is standing in our living room right now? he looks like he might cry.”

Totally misses the brief pause and then Seungcheol’s response of, “yeah, you might wanna rush.”

Luckily for him though, he’s so in his head that time flies as he tries to will his length to go down just a little bit. It’s frustrating, really, to only learn certain things as they happen to him, but like, damn. He really feels like he’s about to burst already, just standing here with a woman’s husband who is knowingly about to let him fuck her.

“You’re not usually this quiet.” Seungcheol finally says to Mingyu, who is still just standing there in the living room. “Are you nervous?”

Mingyu instantly nods, throwing his hands in front of his hard-on and looking to Seungcheol.

“This is the worst, actually,” Mingyu starts, shifting from one leg to the other and glancing away. “Fuck you guys for being so enticing.”

Seungcheol shrugs proudly, offering a smile and then nodding his head as if to invite Mingyu to sit on the couch.

“She’ll be here soon, I’m just going to clean up. Don’t think too hard and take off running, she’s excited.”

Mingyu nods reluctantly, taking a seat on the couch and staring up at the ceiling in defeat. Jumping out a window sounds pretty nice but by this point he assumes every window he will ever touch probably has his cum on it by now. You know, association and stuff.

Then, he hears a car pull up and he’s practically throwing himself to his feet. His balance turning him into a clumsy mess, totally forgetting how to navigate his large body and entirely losing the ability to know how to navigate this entire situation.

The good news for him though, is that you practically jump out of your car and sprint for the door. Not even greeting Seungcheol when you rush inside and slip off your shoes.

All Mingyu knows is that, one second he stands to his feet and gets a head rush, then he hears a door slam, Seungcheol letting out a breathy laugh, and then you slamming into him and practically knocking him back down onto the couch.

“All this time you made me watch? And now you show up when I’m at dinner with my parents.” You playfully scold him, immediately straddling him and grabbing his face with both hands so that he can look at you. “You’re going to have to tie me up if you don’t want me to be all over you right now.”

Mingyu looks at Seungcheol with a stunned expression, receiving a simple shrug in response.

“You want her to touch you?” He asks, heading for the bedroom and raising his voice to continue. “If not, I do have rope.”

Mingyu looks at you, still totally stunned by how fucking fast you got on top of him. He’s rendered more speechless than you’ve ever made him, and his cock twitches painfully from the sensitivity of you sitting on top of him.

He nods politely, dipping his head and looking down.

“You can touch me.” He whispers, only to be cut off by Seungcheol shouting from the bedroom.

“You guys gonna come into the bedroom, or?” He yells, peeking around the corner and shooting a look at you specifically, as if to remind you to pace yourself considering that Mingyu is entirely new to this and still seems like a deer in the headlights.

You nod to Seungcheol and then lift Mingyu’s face back up to you again.

“I can tell your heart is racing,” You say to him in a fond tone, tilting your head playfully. “It’s okay, come on.” You add, pulling yourself off of him and grabbing his hand.

He stares at the way you intertwine your fingers. Feeling like if he thinks hard enough, you’re not married and you’re more into him than just sex. Then again, he doesn’t want to think about that at all. The whole reason he’s so turned on is because this is considered strange to most people he knows. He doesn’t even want to be in love, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with any single person right now. What he wants is this. What he wants is to watch you through his window, and lust over you, and then get to have you. Time and time again. What he wants is for Seungcheol to always share you with him, because he can barely cross his own boundaries, better yet crossing someone else's.

At least with him, you’d be safe. Seungcheol wouldn’t have to worry about broken rules or him coming into your home to take full control. This isn’t his relationship, it’s yours, and if the two of you want him involved even with just sex, he’s leaping for the opportunity at this point.

There, he’s led into the bedroom where Seungcheol looks at him with a fond expression. Mingyu stares for a moment, then looks around the room. It feels like he’s been pining to be in this very room for ages, and knowing he’s standing here right now feels even more overwhelming.

He glances at the window, looking through it into his own open blinds and the embarrassment hits him twice as hard, which obviously has his cock aching in arousal. He isn’t even ashamed of the little, breathy whimper of defeat he lets out at this moment, rolling his eyes back and furrowing his brows.

You let go of Mingyu and take your place beside Seungcheol, both of you checking Mingyu out from head to toe before looking at each other and smiling.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Seungcheol admits, feeling defeated that for the first time in his sex life with you, he doesn’t know how to get the ball rolling. “Why does this feel so intimate compared to usual?”

You laugh, now staring down both of them, wanting nothing more than to fuck and be fucked. The air in this room feels electrifying, and already you have goosebumps rising against your skin. It feels like heaven.

“Probably because he’s so close to home,” You chuckle, feeling totally in control with two lost men staring at you as if they want to eat you alive. “Isn’t that right, Mingyu?” You say, taking a step towards him and already lifting your shirt off of you.

Just as quickly as Seungcheol loses his ability to be the one in control, he gains it back after seeing how confident you are. He knows for a fact how badly you want to be on Mingyu right now, and he has no qualms with that, but part of the fun is being able to present you until the third in the room is practically drooling.

“Not too quickly,” Seungcheol warns, pulling you back by the arm and wrapping his arms around you, dipping his head down to kiss your neck and look Mingyu directly in the eye. “Watch him for a bit first.”

Mingyu feels so fucking seen right now, his cock still wildly twitching at each word and glance. He very nearly falls to his knees right then, because in all fairness he’s been rock hard all fucking day and intentionally held off so that he would be so out of his mind, that surely he’d fuck you as good as you need him to.

“Cheol, I’ve been watching him.” You say, leaning against his warmth and devouring Mingyu with your eyes, “C’mere, Gyu.” You add, giving both men shortened versions of their names to show your adoration for them at this moment.

Mingyu manages to take a step forward without his knees buckling from under him, his eyes scanning your bare torso and the way your chest is hidden by your bra. He can’t not stare, after all, he’s grown accustomed to it by now. He knows what's under that bra and what’s under those pants, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he’s never seen your body this close. He’s never touched you before.

“Well?” Seungcheol looks at him as he makes his way across the room a bit too slowly for his liking. “We have all day, technically.”

Mingyu switches his eyes over to Seungcheol, who seems amused by how enamored he is right now with you. His mind is fairly blank right now, outside of thinking about everything he wants to do, everything he wishes he could say, but still, all he can manage to do is stand in front of you, still not reaching out. He looks at the way Seungcheol has you locked in his arms, holding you still against his chest as if to tame a beast from him.

“You’re so pretty, Mingyu, really.” You say, blinking up at him and tapping Seungcheol to loosen his grip on you. “You can touch me too, you know.”

He’s still reluctant, looking to Seungcheol once again for confirmation and receiving a nod. His hands reach out, touching nothing more than your bare shoulder before sliding down your waist and stepping even closer.

You can feel the warmth radiating off of them as they sandwich you there between them. Seungcheol and his confident breaths behind you easily contrast to Mingyu’s deeper, nervous breathing. You kind of get now why your husband told you to just watch for a little bit longer. Mingyu is so readable, with the way his eyes can’t find where to land, the way his hands know where they want to go but he clearly holds back from doing too much too soon out of fear that this entire agreement will shatter before his very eyes.

You hum out happily, leaning your head back against Seungcheol and pressing your hips forward, against Mingyu. Feeling entirely loved, wanted, needed.

“I missed this feeling,” You sigh out with a pleasured smile, throwing an arm out and over Mingyu’s shoulder, pulling him even closer. “I bet you’ll miss it too. I bet you’ll keep coming back for it.”

Seungcheol hums as well, nodding his head in agreement before blinking over at Mingyu and lifting a brow. He wonders how long they’re going to stand here staring at each other so, rolling his eyes dismissively, he presses on.

“I want to watch you eat her out.” He says, feeling that it’s not too out of the ordinary to make suggestions since Mingyu appears to be totally blinded by your tits right now anyway.

Mingyu nods with empty eyes, shortly before you see him physically break out of his presumed trance and take a step back, very nearly tripping over his own feet.

“Wait, really?” He asks, somehow still unsure that this is a thing that’s actually happening as he regains balance.

“Oh, absolutely.” Seungcheol encourages him, using the emptied up space in front of you to maneuver you over to the bed.

Mingyu watches as your husband sits you down on the bed, grabs two pillows and places them behind you, then shimmies your pants off of you in a very loving way. He doesn’t know whether to be jealous of Seungcheol for being able to love someone enough to pleasure them using others or to be jealous of you for being loved so blatantly.

“Mingyu,” Seungcheol calls out, tapping your legs to spread them out and taking a step back to make room. “Go on.”

Mingyu’s legs take him there before his brain can think twice. One second he’s looking at you from the angle of the center of the room, the next he’s falling to his knees, staring straight between your legs at the point of his lust for the last however long. Slender fingers gripping your thighs much the same way Seungcheol did the first night he saw the two of you together like this.

It continues to hit him like a freight train. He’s here. He’s doing this. Not even a year ago he was sleeping in a different place, with a fiancée, making calls to find venues for a fucking wedding, and now he’s here. Between the legs of another man’s wife at his request.

Why is he so pleased with the drastic change of events? Why is his mouth watering looking at the small damp spot seeping through your panties? Why does he feel like he isn’t even himself at this moment?

None of it matters, not when you reach out and run your fingers through his hair to urge him forward. He leans into the touch, closing his eyes and breathing out through his nose because it’s been a long time since he felt the loving touch of another person in his hair like this.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt the warmth of a woman in front of him, and even longer since he last felt this drunk on the atmosphere around him. Your soft fingers scratch against his scalp, and that alone makes his entire body shiver as he nuzzles against your thigh lovingly, leaving his kiss against your skin for the first time.

Seungcheol watches, not entirely used to a man acting like this with his wife. Usually, they’re already trying to get their cock inside of her, but Mingyu seems to be basking in the touch and feel of it all through each step and in a way, he understands. He was with someone for six years and planned to spend his life with her, he can imagine this is something Mingyu missed doing, despite the bitch not even wanting to gag on him.

He feels fond watching the two of you, situating himself on the bed and letting you lean up against him. There, he starts to work your bra off of you, matching Mingyu’s slowly paced arousal.

You, on the other hand, feel like your body is catching fire. That little gentle kiss against your thigh was followed by several more, peppered up to your panty line, down to your knees, and then right back up before he even thinks about leaving a kiss against the seat of your panties.

Which, he does eventually get to doing. Seungcheol watches your body jolt at the touch. He can tell you’ve been anticipating it since Mingyu got on his knees but knows you’re both pacing yourselves for the sake of him being able to enjoy himself.

Seungcheol’s hands do remain on your tits through it, massaging and pinching against your nipples until they’re erect and sending jolts of sensations straight to your core. Thankfully, Mingyu appears to be preparing himself to see your arousal up close and personal by this point, keeping his lips right up against it as his fingers toy with the hem of your panties.

He looks up at you, still searching for confirmation on instinct and can’t help but feel that the green light was given the second he moved into the house next door with the way you both look at him.

You’re not the only one being loved on right now. He feels entirely taken care of simply for being able to go down on you, and he wants nothing more in this world than to make you feel good.

So, he does his best. Reaching his arms forward and gripping the sides of your panties before gently pulling them down. He watches as your, by now very wet, panties unstick from your folds as he reveals it to himself and honestly, he doesn’t even care at this point at how he blatantly moans over it.

And just as you thought he was going to take his time like before, it’s like your entire world is flipped upside down. You take in a sharp and surprised inhale at the way he’s got his tongue on you the second your panties hit the floor.

Seungcheol laughs at your surprise, internally praising Mingyu for that sudden jolt of confidence he must have gotten to do that after unintentionally teasing you for far too long. He can feel your nipples react to what he’s doing, and through the sound of Mingyu’s tongue, his groans through the taste of you, even he feels like he’s going insane just sitting with you against him like this.

“Fuck,” You moan out, feeling the way his tongue leaves no part of your pussy unexplored. “Fuck.” You continue, totally speechless and unable to praise him the way you’d very much like to right now.

When you run your fingers through his hair again, feeling the way he moves his head beneath them he stiffens his tongue as he slides it up your entire pussy, then lands on your clit and begins to flick his tongue at such a pace that your legs nearly close in on him.

Seungcheol is there though, quickly reaching down to hold your legs open for him.

“Sensitive?” He gleefully whispers to you, watching the way you grip Mingyu’s hair in your fingers through the obvious struggle. He knows you won’t answer, which is fine, because he loves when you get like this. Though it’s never through a man simply giving you some good head.

Mingyu continues his assault with his tongue, so drunk on the taste of you that all he can do is keep going. Keep tasting, flicking your clit until it’s swollen before sliding back down again and burying his tongue inside of you as deep as it’ll go. Like he can’t get enough, especially with the way your hips wiggle to get away, with the way your fingers try to weakly tug his head away from you.

He hopes this is exactly what Seungcheol wanted to see, because he couldn’t be happier to fulfill the request. Moaning into you only to breathe nothing but you back in. His cock still neglected from a full day of arousal, tasting you alone is soaking his pants. Never has he felt so desperate for something. Never.

Even when he can feel the bed shift and your legs close around his head again, he continues.

“Hold her legs open for me,” Seungcheol instructs as he pulls himself off of the bed, now seemingly so aroused that he feels the need to involve himself. He shimmies off his clothing and props himself back up on the bed, directly next to you and easily holding his length to bump against your slacked and moaning mouth.

You readily accept your husband’s length into your mouth. Instantly taking him as deeply as you can out of sheer arousal. Wanting to do the dirtiest things your brain can come up with solely because of how good everything feels right now. Seungcheol loves it, especially with how greedy you seem as you furrow your brows and will yourself to take more into your mouth.

“Mingyu,” Seungcheol calls out, reaching over to tap his hand that’s putting his obvious strength to use against your thighs to get his attention. “Look.”

Mingyu does, after sliding his tongue back up and flicking your clit several more times to get those satisfying shakes of your body in reaction. His eyes trail up as he finally takes a breath of fresh air, only now realizing that you’re both entirely naked.

“If you keep coming back,” Seungcheol starts, moving his hand to caress your cheek before holding the back of your head in place. “this” he punctuated with a hard thrust into your mouth, gagging you. “is what you have to look forward to.”

Mingyu watches as Seungcheol holds your head there, continuously gagging, and then he glances down to your pussy and goddamn. You’re clenching around nothing each time you gag, and the moans you’re letting out along with your gags sends him over edge. His tongue is immediately back on you, satiating that clench with his tongue as best he can.

The sound of Seungcheol’s ever expected fond reactions goes unnoticed by Mingyu as he puts his entire fucking soul into eating you out.

Thankfully, you’re able to breathe shortly after, kind of. Save for the fact that when Mingyu’s isn’t knocking the breath out of you, Seungcheol is stealing it by blocking your airways with his length and moaning all the same.

The entire room sounds so erotic, and everything still feels like it’s on fire. Your sensitivity subsides as your focus falls to pleasing your husband, leading your hips to chase Mingyu’s hungry tongue anywhere it goes.

It stays like this for a few minutes, all three of you seemingly lost in each other before you feel your husband lean over, allowing you to take care of his length without his help and sliding them straight to where Mingyu’s tongue is.

There, he easily slides in two fingers, and still, Mingyu doesn’t stop. It doesn’t phase him one bit. His tongue continues, working around Seungcheol’s fingers and sometimes even licking around them to taste the arousal that seeps from deep inside of you. By now though, he’s humping up, wanting more, more, more. Your hips chase his tongue and your husband’s fingers the same way his hips chase nothing.

Seungcheol only likes him more by this point. Even the times they have been with curious men, typically they’re not licking your pussy and his fingers. Mingyu is so peculiar about this, and arguably his lack of experience is what’s making this feel so fucking magical. His attention doesn’t appear to be divided between the both of you, nor does it even appear to be solely on you like he thinks it is.

He’s treating you both as if you’re one person, one soul, and appears to accept anything either of you offer as long as you feel good and Seungcheol is satisfied with how things are going.

Never has their bedroom been this silent of words either, especially when someone else is involved. There’s always crude words, but at this point all three of you seem to understand that you’re experiencing rather than trying to put on a show. You’re not competing, you’re not rushing for the finish line, you’re just, fucking, existing within pleasure.

“He’s a natural.” Seungcheol compliments, sliding his fingers up and out of you, feeling Mingyu’s tongue graze against the entire length of one of them and moaning loudly at the warmth and taste. “Wonder what else he can do?”

You smile when you pull off of Seungcheol’s, now leaking, cock and look down at Mingyu. He’s already looking up at you, lips glistening much like his eyes are as he plants more kisses up your body. Solely because Seungcheol practically hides your entire pussy from him as a hint to move his hungry assault elsewhere.

He does, happily. He’s satisfied even as he kisses up your belly and feels like he doesn’t need to ask to plant those same glistening lips against one of your nipples and fondle it with his tongue just as beautifully as he did with your clit.

He leaves space for Seungcheol’s hand when he moves up, trying to be careful to avoid his hard on brushing against anywhere where it’s not wanted, which doesn’t seem to be much of an issue because Seungcheol pulls his hand back shortly anyway, pulling off of the bed and studying the two of you.

You hug Mingyu’s head while he worships the chest he’s stared at from his window day after day. Seungcheol can clearly see how shy Mingyu is, but he still seems to be doing everything in a way that makes you both love it. At this point, it wouldn’t even matter what he does, he knows you’d go insane over it, and that’s enough for him to allow it.

He can’t help himself when he leans over you to kiss you, seemingly so in love with you, careful not to accidentally bump Mingyu’s head from your tit and probably cause some sort of huff or pout out of him.

“Lay him back.” Seungcheol says to you through his kiss, pinching your chin to keep your lips on his for a few moments longer before letting you go.

The way your eyes shine, and the way Mingyu’s tongue seems to never tire, you’re almost sad to pull him off of you. But you do, nonetheless, guiding him to stand to his feet and finally running your hands up his torso to urge his shirt off of him.

You stare at his abdomen, touching and feeling each dip of it. His arms are just as big and toned, and god damn is his cock huge. You could tell from the window, and you can tell here, even while it’s clothed.

“Off.” You say, tugging him forward by his jeans and sitting yourself up.

He laughs at the movement, looking between the two of you and honestly, damn. You’re both so fucking beautiful right now. He’d be delighted to take these pants off, and he does.

Shortly after, you instruct him to lay back on the bed and he’s only getting more and more comfortable with the situation. Doing exactly as instructed, not even embarrassed by his angry and heavy cock twitching in near pain to be touched.

“God, look at him.” You comment, now moving yourself on the bed to lean on one elbow and trail your fingers up his abs.

His entire body twitches at the touch, and he winces just a little bit with a sexually frustrated huff.

“Should I fuck him?” You ask, looking up at Seungcheol, who was actively already fisting his length shamelessly at all of the ideas he has in his head that you could to do Mingyu, or of what Mingyu could do to you.

“Do you want that?” Seungcheol asks, looking over to Mingyu and watching the way he straight up nods shamelessly and practically grabs you by the arm to pull you on top of him.

“So eager,” You laugh, throwing your leg over him and instantly seating yourself directly on his cock. Feeling how huge it is, how hard it is.

Mingyu moans at that alone, hands shooting to your waist and squeezing so hard that you know it’ll leave a painful sensation later.

“Go on then, fuck him.” Seungcheol says, amused with how badly this man wants it.

And you do, without much more of a warning. You lift yourself and expertly slide straight down on his pathetic cock. You watch Mingyu as you do it, struggling to breathe through the feeling of your tight walls clenching around his length and attempting to adjust to his size.

Mingyu runs his own fingers through his hair now, trying to keep himself grounded by the feeling he’s missed out on for so fucking long. He lets out a long and drawn out moan, cursing at the feeling and nearly tearing up at how fucking tight you are.

“Shit-” Mingyu breathes out, holding your waist still as if to keep you from moving, then he’s wrapping you in a hug and pulling you straight down against his chest.

Seungcheol skews his head, taking a step closer to see how well his friend fits inside of you and damn. Your pussy is clenching every passing second trying to adjust, and Mingyu's entire body is reacting to it. Naturally, Seungcheol has no choice but to grip his cock harder at the scene, biting back his own desperate moan so that he can still appear to be collected about this.

As you lay in Mingyu’s arms though, with the harsh hold of his arms keeping you in place, you can’t help but groan at the searing stretch inside of you. And he, on the other hand, is being driven crazy by the smell of your hair. Honestly, the scent alone is driving him wild enough that it’s a struggle to keep his own hips from writhing with the need to stretch your pussy out more.

“Keep him still while you make room for me.” Seungcheol finally chokes out. “Don’t let him come yet.”

You breathlessly nod, trying to press yourself up from Mingyu’s heaving chest just to grip onto his shoulders and bounce against his desperate attempts to stop you. He gives in after the second bounce though, going from trying to hold you down on him to loosening up and almost helping you bounce.

“That’s it, that’s exactly what she wants–” Seungcheol compliments, running his fingers up your back and making you shiver. “Right, babe?”

You try to answer, but you moan out instead with the way Mingyu’s hands keep you bouncing at such a pace that your g-spot is being repeatedly fucked against. And when he moves his hands to your ass, he loses himself to the pleasure as his eyes darken even more, fucking up now, deeper into you when you slide down on him.

“So deep,” You nearly sob out, hands reaching out for Seungcheol somewhere behind you, and he’s quick to be there for you.

“Feels good?” He asks, leaning onto the bed to kiss against your face. “You moan so good for him, I know it does.”

Mingyu moans before you can, sinking his head further into the pillows and letting himself get lost in the feeling of you bouncing on him. Seungcheol was right about this before, you do get wet. Fucking soaked.

“Ready for more?” Seungcheol asks now, seemingly ready to give you more than either of you know you can handle.

Still, you nod, knowing exactly what he’s wanting to do. You adjust the way you bounce, now leaning back onto Mingyu’s chest so that Mingyu’s cock slamming into you is on full display for Seungcheol.

“Slow down for a second, Gyu,” Seungcheol says, liking the nickname well enough to use it himself. “Let me show you what sharing feels like.”

And holy fuck, Mingyu is not prepared for it. He’s shocked that you’re wanting it, with the way you pant out breathless, pained moans against his collar bone as Seungcheol makes attempts to stretch you out more than you already are.

Mingyu holds onto those little pants, feeling your hands grip against his body as your husband nudges the head of his cock inside, causing both of you to cry out with a desperate sound.

Inch by inch, Seungcheol works himself in, holding his breath and soothing your back throughout the process, up until he’s managed to fit about as much as he can into you and thrusting forward just once to test the waters.

“Goddamn, such a tight fit.” He half-moans through a laugh, pulling out and thrusting in again, harder.

The reaction is more than Seungcheol could ever have wanted. Both of you, clinging to each other through the overwhelming sensation. Mingyu, probably overly sensitive from the feeling of your pussy gripping him and Seungcheol’s cock massaging the underside of it as he chases his own pleasure. Then there’s you, constantly clenching to adjust, letting out little pleased cries that only get prettier and prettier, especially when they’re mixed in with Mingyus.

At this point, Seungcheol can barely tell which one of you is moaning, but it’s all the same to him and he begins to do the work for all three of you. Loving the way he’s managed to make his wife and another man fall apart beneath him.

“God, you both love it.” He says, knowing for a fact that you’re both too gone by now to hear him. Which is good, because he can’t hold his own moans in anymore.

So, he doesn’t. He grips your hips to hold you in place and continues to thrust, feeling your pussy relax with each thrust until even Mingyu is able to fuck up slightly. And for you, feeling both cocks sliding into you opposite of each other, you really can’t comprehend a single thing outside of pleasure right now.

You can hardly breathe, so talking isn’t entirely on your agenda, still though. You try.

“Fuck, fuck–” You breathe out, gripping even tighter onto Mingyu now.

“So fucking wet,” Seungcheol soothes, offering a harsher thrust now that he’s beginning to lose himself to the feeling too.

“So fucking, big–” You say, mostly into Mingyu’s ear despite your husband having a good size as well. “Fuck me open, pretty boy, show my husband how you like to come.”

Seungcheol smirks at your hushed and out-of-breath words, you always get dirty when you’re super turned on. Plus, the way Mingyu follows instructions is insanely sexy too.

In fact, he follows your instructions a little too well. Somehow, Mingyu overpowers both your weight on him and Seungcheol’s harsh thrusts. To the point that he actually has to stop moving his own hips because if he doesn’t, Mingyu will get all three of you off within seconds if he keeps going at this pace.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah,” Seungcheol moans in probably the most erotic voice you’ve ever heard come from him before. Because, never in your life alongside him have you heard him have to cut off his comments with a moan. “he likes it fucking rough.”

And he’s not lying. Part of you wonders if Mingyu has ever been able to fuck this way, because even as you and your husband manage to find room to converse through this, Mingyu is still gone and lost in his own world. Still holding onto you, and still fucking into you so hard that you’re very nearly releasing little yelps each time he bottoms out.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, knows exactly how your body reacts when you’re getting close. Usually knowing before you do, and he really does his best to keep his composure through this. He does his damndest to hold off, amazed that Mingyu lasted past the first instance of you sinking down on him.

Shaking hands reach between you and Mingyu, and you’re quick to sit up and lean back against Seungcheol instead to let him have access to your clit. Despite his cock slipping out of you slightly, he can still manage to fuck a few inches in at this angle, and honestly it’s a welcome relief because if he continued any further, he worries your clit would be left long neglected by his brain malfunctioning in a sudden orgasm.

You smile in a daze as you stare down at Mingyu, his eyes droopy and hooded when he opens them, but for the most part remaining closed and focused on fucking you as good as he can. And paired with the sensation of Seungcheol rubbing your clit, you’re rendered useless in announcing that you’re close.

Thankfully, your lovely, amazing, and doting husband knows you as well as you know yourself.

“Keep going,” He says, out of breath and reaching his other hand up to hold one of your tits in his hand, lips going to your neck. “She’s close.”

Mingyu lets out a choked moan at the same time you let one out, and instantly Seungcheol pulls out with a pleased and frustrated moan.

“Let him feel it, babe,” Seungcheol says, now focusing solely on rubbing your clit with one hand and fucking his fist with the other. ”Squeeze him.”

God, you do, coming undone wrapped around his Mingyu’s relentless cock, pulsing and shaking as Seungcheol makes no attempt to ease the orgasm out of you. His fingers only circle your clit harder, and Mingyu only fucks up harder.

“Fuck, Mingyu,” Seungcheol calls out, watching the man in awe. “How are you holding out right now?”

Mingyu blinks up, his eyes totally lost to arousal and he continues to fuck into you far past your orgasm ending, loving the slide of how much wetter you got through it. He feels like he’s fucking half a year’s worth of himself into you, which is fair. Because he definitely is.

“Look at him babe, tell him it’s okay.” Seungcheol continues, wanting Mingyu to get off so that he can stop holding off on his own. It’s entirely insane how much self-control this man has.

Not even Seungcheol himself could withstand this without losing a bit of self control, and yet, god. He really is the perfect third. The perfect neighbor.

This is an indication that Seungcheol is about to go full cuckold and work at himself as you take what you want from Mingyu, and you really do try.

Your legs shake around him as you continue to try and ride him, leaning down to hover over his lips in a faux first kiss to tell him to rest his hips, and he does, sighing out a little sound of relief as you take back the control.

He’s never been so fucking turned on in his life, and in all honestly, not even he knows how he hasn’t gotten off yet. He’s needed it all day. He’s needed it all his fucking life, it seems.

Seungcheol studies the way your tired legs work, the pace slowing down minute by minute before he steps in. His control now fully regained as his orgasm fades and he can continue to instruct and enjoy without a wall of pure sex invading his actions. He releases his cock now, stilling your hips and pulling you off of Mingyu.

The sound alone is somehow filthier than any porn he’s ever heard. Sloppy and wet, paired with Mingyu’s frustrated groan at the loss of warmth.

“Gyu, take the lead.” Seungcheol says, helping you to lay back and rubbing your thighs to soothe them.

Mingyu, of course, jumps into action immediately. Lifting from his spot and situating himself between your legs with ease. Now being able to see you under him, rather than hovering above him, he feels like he has all the power in the world to treat you right.

“Anything you want,” He says, already adjusting himself with your pussy and pressing in. “Anything, just tell me.”

You’re entirely endeared by his words and can’t help it when you pull him down in a huff and connect your lips to his for the first time. He melts into it, fucking his hips into you at a slower pace now, deeper, more lazily.

He’s smelling you and feeling you entirely, every sensation in the world he could ever want is being satiated right now, and he’s not ashamed to whine through it. Pumping himself into you until it hits him.

So hard does it hit him, each thrust milking him entirely of his cum and not trembling once through it. His cock has been sensitive all day, this new sensitivity is welcome to him as long as you continue to lick into his mouth and scratch against his back like this.

It’s a given that he was a goner the second he got on top, and when he finally empties the last, impossible amount of cum into you, his ears pop and begin to ring.

“You guys look so cute–” Seungcheol coos, helping Mingyu out of you on wobbly legs before he leans down to scoop some of the mess out of you. “Now, you lay back too,” he adds, still toying with the cum dripping from you.

He does, relieved and thankful for the rest after that exhausting experience. He’s out of breath when he flops himself down next to you, turning his head slightly to look at you and how content you seem to be. It makes him feel content too, even without your lips against his.

There, Seungcheol scoops some of that cum out of you and slathers his fingers with it, shuffling forward onto the bed to place himself between your legs now. Then, his fingers make their way over to Mingyu.

“Taste it.” He says, wondering if Mingyu will fight the idea of doing it.

Shockingly, he doesn’t. He opens his mouth with ease and sucks Seungcheol’s fingers into his mouth. You watch, watching the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows the taste of himself mixed with you. You groan out, throat dry from the embarrassing amount of moaning before wiggling your hips.

“Patience, babe,” Seungcheol says, not even glancing at you and keeping his eyes trained on the way Mingyu eagerly licks his fingers clean before releasing his fingers and blinking over to you, and then up at him.

“You’re both going to fucking kill me.” Seungcheol lets out, rolling his eyes before training them on you. “Gonna stuff this mess back into you, yeah?”

You nod obediently.

You’re so content, readily accepting your husband in his rightful place and basking in the familiar feeling of his length pressing inside of you. It’s a feeling you know, and a feeling you love despite having already been fucked open by both of them already.

At this point, it’s not even just arousal in the air. But like, a weird secret second thing that somehow feels more content than content.

Seungcheol is in love with the way you look right now though, arguably so for Mingyu too. With his fucked out face looking just as drowsy as yours does despite the sun setting when all of this started. It’s not as late into the night as it seems to feel, which is fine because time seems like it works differently at this moment.

“Kiss her,” Seungcheol says, with a last gift to Mingyu for fucking you so well. “Thank her.”

He does, because of course he does. He dips in so fast, cradling your face in the same delicate way he touched your thighs from before. Kissing you just as gently, all while Seungcheol takes his time to slide into you with such a fulfilling pace that, honestly, if you will it hard enough, you could probably get off another three times if you wanted to.

But you don’t, putting that filthy side of you to rest as you allow your husband to take what he needs. His pace quickening much like Mingyu’s kisses do, up until you’re bouncing up with each thrust of his hips, and Mingyu is left chasing your lips. Up, down, up, down.

He chuckles into it, his teeth catching your bottom lip a few times before chasing your lips harder, all for Seungcheol to admire from above.

And admire it, he does. Loving the way you kiss Mingyu in a playful way compared to himself. There’s passion here, and it makes it all the more easy for him to work himself up to his own orgasm.

You’re not shocked at Seungcheol’s silence through his own high. Pressing his hips so tightly against yours, trying to bury himself as deeply as he can go to release all of this tension inside of his body. You still feel as full as you did when they both were inside of you, but this is something entirely different. It’s Seungcheol, and it still shows that he’s the one person on this Earth who knows you better than you know yourself.

He knows you love to feel his cock pulse inside of you, know your love when it dribbles down your thighs as you wobble to the bathroom, and now apparently, he knows you seem to love kissing Mingyu through the entire experience. Clenching against his orgasm as if you were already willing to start over from the beginning.

And just like that, he pulls out and lays on the other side of you, stealing your lips from Mingyu briefly and kissing you. Both out of appreciation and love.

The clean up was devastating. Poor fucking Mingyu, never realizing that aftercare is like, a huge important factor to fucking that hard. Which only solidifies it to both you and your husband that he’s clearly never been given the sexual freedom he so needed.

The two of you exchange side eyes at the way Mingyu expects to shower alone and take care of himself, despite walking straight into a wall on wobbly legs with sleepy, mostly closed eyes.

You help him to the shower, Seungcheol allowing you to join him and clean him up as he sits just outside and waits to ultimately clean himself up this time. After all, Mingyu was the one who fucked you senseless this time, the least he can do is learn how to clean up the mess and soothe your muscles.

Fortunately, he seems to be pleased to learn and eager to put his new knowledge to use. Standing there under the warm water with a blissed out little smile, hands gently caressing your core as if to soothe your sensitivity. Obviously, it doesn’t work that way but, you still give him credit for it.

By the time you’re done showering, Mingyu is practically dead weight. Literally fucked himself to sleep, it seems, as Seungcheol laughs out and nods to the guest room, which he already made up for him.

You help him to the room while Seungcheol helps himself to shower, where puddles of water remain on the floor.

Apparently you and Mingyu both share the trait of not using a towel to step on after a shower. Which is only more of a reason to like him.

Seungcheol likes taking care of people.

When Mingyu wakes up the next morning, sunlight blaring through closed blinds, his half asleep brain realizes very quickly what happened.

He’s embarrassed again, but the content feeling in his chest replaced the heavy one he had been holding about the entire situation. He had fun. He liked it. No, he loved it. So much so that for the first time in his life, he’s needed to pass the fuck out immediately after.

And it’s not long after he wakes up, lying there in thought, that he hears a soft knock at the door.

You’re poking your head in, blinking over at him and admiring his sleep hair. Which isn’t too different compared to his sex hair, and you smile.

“Good morning,” You say, stepping into the room and revealing Seungcheol close behind you. “Wanna go again?”

Mingyu dead pans at both of you. You’re both fucking insane.

#svt smut #seventeen smut #mingyu smut #seungcheol smut #kim mingyu smut #s.coups smut

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fakescenarios-tohelpyousleep · 1 month

Text

exile| aaron hotchner

summary| returning to her hometown, lehighton dawson's relationship with her unit chief gets revealed

"Are you being serious right now Aaron! I'm barely back on the team for a month and you're excluding me from cases?" I storm into the room as all eyes fall onto me, JJ was standing with the remote in hand reading the case information to the team while Garcia stumbles into the room behind me, failing her mission to make me late enough to miss the briefing. A mission which was set into motion upon the unit chief's request.

"I'm sorry sir, I tried-" "It's alright, Garcia."

After an abrupt resignation from the team about a year and a half ago, for reasons much unknown to my teammates, I decided to return to Quantico and the life... and people i left behind. Straight out of college, at the ripe age of 23, I joined the team of experienced profilers. Experienced as they were, however, none of them could profile me from the second I stepped into the BAU... and it was wonderful. Even with our rules about not profiling each other, we still do. And it can be suffocating, at least I can only imagine. We spend enough time with each other as a group that they do not need to know every single thing about me and my personal life. Hell my personal life could've costed me my job.

From Rossi to Derek, all the way to unit chief Aaron Hotcher, the people who knew me better than myself at times, could not read me even after working together for years. Unintimidating as I might look, stood at roughly 5'5 with long mousy brown hair and blue eyes, Derek would even admit to being scared of me in one way or another. Everyone on the team had met a case that shook them to their core and caused them trauma, expect me... besides the case that caused me to leave the team.

It was no secret I had a good relationship with our unit chief, it became no secret the moment I joined Rossi and Strauss in being the only people who call him by his first name and not his last.

My 'power' as Garcia puts it, comes in handy in many ways in the world of my job. Unsubs can't tell if you're lying and the team could never profile my relationship with Aaron Hotchner.

Looking at the screen, like most times, it's a line up of women. Around the same age group, red heads and brunettes. Snatching the closest file, in this case it happens to be Spencer's, my eyes scan over the case and they land on one specific detail... the location. "You've gotta be kidding me-" I scoff, throwing the case file back onto the table in front of Spencer. "There is a serial killer in my hometown, where MY FAMILY lives and you thought the best thing would be to keep it from me?" "It's considered a conflict on interest." Aaron Hotchner says lying straight threw his teeth. "You shouldn't be talking to me about conflicts of interest Aaron." A gasp filled the room at the knife I just turned in the side of Aaron Hotchner. I knew it hurt, but I didn't care. He was being ridiculous.

"Hotch, maybe Leighton's right." Derek spoke, seeing the tension fill between his boss and coworker. "Yeah, she could give us inside information. She knows the area well and the people." Emily now joined in on my side. Hotch stood shaking his head. "Aaron I don't care what you say, I'm going on this case with or without your permission- Wheels up in 30." I speak, disrespect filling my voice. If I was any other agent, Aaron would've yelled and suspended me in a heartbeat. But I wasn't any other agent. I'm Leighton Dawson and he can't handle loosing me again.

"You know, for there being a killer on the loose and our very own Lehighton Dawson being from Acosta, we really know nothing about this town." Derek slyly speaks, sliding himself into the seat across from me on the jet. Spencer next to me and JJ across from him. Rossi and Hotch were both sat across the isle from us and Emily on the couch behind us, who soon joined on the arm rest besides Derek. I shrug, only glancing up from the file for a moment before returning to it.

“What do you want to know? It’s like every other small town on the east coast.” “What a description, what kind of trauma did it cause you for you to be talking about it like that?” Emily was joking and I knew it but I couldn’t help the death glare that I shot her way. Maybe it was my look that made her regret saying it, or perhaps it was the even harder glare Hotch was sending her as well. “It was a joke.” Emily quickly clarified, I nod at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I don’t like it there. It’s that simple.” I didn’t even need to glance at Aaron to know what his facial expression was. His jaw was set tight. He and only he knew my story and they made him angry. Despite the worse conditions he was raised in, the fact that I had smaller burdens still bother him in a way I can’t understand.

“Are you doing okay?” Aaron suddenly appears at my side, I’m standing staring into the room where Chrissy Langdon’s parents and 3 sisters were sitting. Chrissy and I had graduated together, we were friends and worked together, however, we ended our high school experience on bad terms. JJ was speaking to them after I already had. They were a mess. It was horrible to watch. After three days of being in Acosta and no clues, leads or anything, this was not what the team needed. This is not what I needed. “This is honestly one of the worst days of my entire life.” Aaron side eyes me in that moment, he knows that this day does not remotely make it to the top 10 of my worst list, but he understands what I’m trying to say. I must have looked so defeated at that moment. “I told you, you should've come.” “You know, as a bitter teenager, I wished this girl dead so many times-” Aaron’s face drops at my sudden confession. “Hell, I wished myself dead so that she felt some type of pain, but I never actually meant that you know?” From a body jerk, I could tell, he was about to reach out and place a hand of comfort on my shoulder, but he stopped himself, he didn’t want to cross a line.

“We will find whoever did this Lehighton.” Derek’s voice pulled me back into the moment. All eyes of the team were staring me down in my chair at the table. The noise of the restaurant was all I could focus on. “Is it bad that I honestly don’t care at this moment. I have nothing left to feel anymore.” Little did the rest of the team know, right before leaving for dinner Emily had to come into my hotel room and pick my sobbing, hyperventilating body off of the floor. “You’re tired, we’re all tired. Something will come up, I can feel it.” JJ added, trying to give a glimpse of hope to our seemingly hopeless team. “Lehighton Dawson?” My head snaps at the voice, Sierra Deacon and Lillian Ross. 2 girls I met in high school and followed through with me to college and both ended back in Acosta working as river guides and park rangers in the surrounding area. “Holy cow!” I jumped at the sight of them, they were comforting in this situation. Sierra was also friends with Chirssy in high school, I really needed her at this moment. My moment of peace came to a close as I opened my eyes while in the middle of a 3 way hug with them and the other guides they came into the restaurant with came into view. Carson White, my first ex-boyfriend. The one who made me finally decide to leave this town and never look back. “Carson?” My body fell lump in their arms and they both let go and allowed me to step back, defensively. “Hey Lehighton, how the hell are ya?” He reached forward for a hug, and my body snapped stiff as he touched me. I vowed to never let this man ever touch me again. Before I could process, Aaron was at my side while Derek was at the other and bless him, Spencer stood behind me. “Aaron Hotcher, unit chief.” “What he means, we work with Lehighton at the FBI, Derek Morgan.” Derek steps in. “Nice to meet you- Didn’t know you made it to the FBI.” “Funny what you could learn if you don’t block people.” Sierra speaks under her breath and I can’t help but laugh very loudly at the uncomfortable situation. As my catch my breath, I could feel tears forming in my eyes, and Aaron’s hand on my back

I didn’t notice Aaron on the lobby couch when I ran from the hotel early that morning. It was misting and blurry, my glasses were not on and I didn’t want to see anything. I just wanted to run, run from this town, run from these people, run from the killer, run from the team, run from my past. I didn’t know where I was going, but I ran. I ran until it reached the graveyard on Flinton, there I slowed as I walked along the paths through the graves. It felt disrespectful to run here. Flinton was the road of my alma mater, the road of my grandparents place, and the road of Carson White’s parents house. As the rain picked up Aaron’s voice came from behind me, I didn’t jump. My subconscious must have known he was following me this whole time. “Lehighton, it’s pouring. Let’s go back.” “And what Aaron! Find absolutely nothing that will help us find Chrissy’s killer!” At Aaron’s face dropping when I turn around, it makes me aware of the fact that I was crying. How long have I been crying? “We will find the person who did it, Lehighton, I can promise you that. It’s a white male, between 25-35. He knows the area-” “Oh well that’s just great Aaron, fuck it could be anyone here. It could be Mo Jo from down the block, it could fucking be Carson White!” “Do you think Carson White could be a suspect in this case?” “I don’t fucking know Aaron! I don’t want anything to do with this case anymore! The things that I’ve lost here, the people I knew, it seems like they got me surrounded for miles and miles and I don’t want that! I left here and promised to never come back.” I feel my knees smack into the blacktop below me and Aaron’s arms are around me the next second. “It’s ok, let’s get you back to the hotel.”

“It was personal-” “What was personal?” The whole team turns to Aaron as he arrives late to the station that morning, Lehighton still nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Lehighton?” “Lehighton is off the case, now, what was personal.” He kept it short as he sat down. “Chrissy’s killing. It was definitely the same unsub, based on the MO but something about this murder was personal.” Aaron had a hard look on his face, like he had something to say but didn’t know if or how to say it. “What Hotch?” “Lehighton said something today, something about Carson White possibly being our guy.” “Her ex? Does she have anything to back it up?” “Wait, Lehighton and Chrissy went to high school together right?” “Right.” “And this kill was personal. One of the other women killed had any personal connection to Lehighton, until we showed up and suddenly someone she had personal connection to got murdered.” “Ok guys stop it, we have nothing connecting Carson White to the murders-” “You guys think Carson killed her?” The team jumps as the voice of Lehighton comes from the doorway. “Do you think Carson killed them?” “It doesn’t matter what I think Derek, it’s what the evidence says. We have nothing connecting him to the crimes.” “We need to know more about him but we don’t have enough to get a warrant for his house- Lehighton do you have anything about him in your childhood bedroom.” I nod, arms crossed loosely around me, I felt so uncomfortable in that moment. “It’s the same as when we broke up, I never came home again after that.” “JJ, Rossi go back to Chrissy’s crime scene, see if we missed anything. The rest of us are going to Lehighton’s home, we’re gonna learn about Carson White.” “Wait Hotch-” The team stops mid standing, “It’s almost the time school gets out, I need to go get my sister. I don’t want her just walking into a house full of FBI agents.” Aaron nodded, “Morgan, go with her.”

Lila Castello, my 16 year old half sister. The only good tie I have left to my family. Lila was born when I was 13, our oldest sister Aurora was 17 and a senior in high school. Once Aurora was out of the house, everything changed. My mother checked out. Lila’s father, my mother’s boyfriend, was not paternal in the slightest. Growing up, it was always Lila and I against the world. When I left for college, I was freshly 18 and Lila was barely 5. I had promised myself when I got on my own two feet I would get Lila out, but things haven’t exactly gone as planned. Undergrad, followed directly by grad school, followed directly by moving from PA to VA for a position in the FBI, Lila just didn’t fit into any of it. She didn’t take it personally, I know she doesn’t and that’s one of the reasons I love her so much. She understands why I do what I do.

“No fucking way!” The yell that bursts from Lila’s mouth when she spots me leaning against the SUV outside of the main doors of Acosta High is comical in itself, followed closely to how quickly she body slams me with a hug. Derek stood on the other side of the car, laughing, slowly making his way over to us as we rocked back and forth in each other's arms. “Happy to see me I guess.” “Are you kidding, you’re like a breath of fresh air in this shit town.” “I see the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Morgan comments at Lila’s response to the town of Acosta. “Nope, the only difference is she gets the wonder gene of being a ginger.” Lila lightly pushes me at the comment and I can’t help but laugh. “Lila, this is SSe Derek Morgan, Morgan this is my little sister Lila.” “Do you guys have any leads on the Chrissy Langdon murder?” “Lila, be quiet, get in the car. I’ll explain.” Lila rolls her eyes, walking past us to get into the back seat of the SUV. Yes it was public knowledge that the FBI was here investigating but the last thing people need to know is that Lila is close to the investigation.

“So let me get this straight, the FBI is in our house, pulling apart your room because they think Carson may or may not be the killer?” Lila recaps, making sure she knows exactly what she’s about to walk into. “Basically, but you cannot and I mean it, cannot tell anyone what we are doing.” “Yes ma’am” she salutes from the back seat as we pull into the street parking of my childhood home. Derek could audibly hear a gasp when my eyes landed on the front door. “You okay Dawson?” “Yeah yeah, just go ahead without me. I’ll catch up.” Derek nods, removing himself from the car. Lila’s arms wrap around me from the back of the seat. “You got this.”

“Find any life changing information while we were gone?” It all looked so wrong, my current life, these agents, in my childhood bedroom. A life I left behind. If this would’ve happened as a teen, I would’ve screamed at the thought of people touching my personal belongings but it almost doesn’t feel real anymore. I’ve been so removed from that part of myself that it feels like a different person. “Besides from the fact that you were so incredibly close to being goth, not really no.” JJ joked, which was followed by me flipping her off jokingly. “Not as goth as Emily.” “Precisely why I said ‘so incredibly close’” “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my sister Lila. Lila these are SSA Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid and our unit chief Aaron Hotchner.” Lila’s eyes land and stay on Spencer. “He’s cute.” The team laughs at her pointing Reid out as Reid blushes. “These pictures and such are giving some kind of indication of Carson but not much we can work with- What?” Aaron stops at my eyes growing wide when he sits himself on my bed. “Get off the bed.” “What?” “Get off the fucking bed Aaron and stop looking at pictures of him! All of you stop it!” I don’t know what came over me that second Aaron touched the bed, but I suddenly wanted them all out of my house and out of my past life. I stormed from the room without another word, I couldn’t stand looking at it any longer. “She has a weird thing about that bed.” Lila tries to explain as she exits.

I can see Aaron’s shoes as he comes and leans on the table across from me as I lean on the kitchen counter. My head is in my hands as I try to calm myself from the blow up I just experienced. “I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me.” “It’s ok, your emotions are on high right now.” I shrug. “This probably isn’t fun for you either, looking through my past.” Aaron shook his head. “I know we have to but-” He pauses, wanting to choose his next words very carefully. “Sometime ago we made a deal-” “That we wouldn’t talk about our past unless the other openly wanted to talk to the other about it.” I finish his sentence and he smiles. That right there is what I miss. Aaron Hotchenr being a human. “Yeah, that.” “Trust me, I don’t like it that much either but if it helps… it’ll be worth it.” Lies. As Aaron goes to speak again, a sudden screaming from out the front door comes. Lila and a male voice, I recognize almost immediately. “No fucking way.” I mumble angrily under my breath, taking off in the direction of Lila’s voice, Aaron following closely on my tail. “Come on Lila, I just need a little more. I promise I’ll pay you back. I have a job coming up and it’ll be a lot of money.” Just as I thought, Lila’s father, begging his 16 year old for money. Pathetic. “Dad, I can't. I have insurance coming out this week-” “Lila please!” His hand made contact with her arm as she turned away and I lost it. “George get the fuck off my sister!” “Lehighton? What the fuck are you doing back here?” “Doing my god damn job, now let go of your damn kid.” I snip, pulling Lila from his grasp and placing her behind me. “Just cause you moved away, don't think you’re any better than me.” “Ha don’t make me laugh.” “You’re a fucking cunt just like your mother!” Once again, I don’t know what comes over me at that moment, but I’m flying at him, only being caught by Aaron’s arms around me. “Lehighton, it’s not worth it!” “Dad please just take it and leave.” Lila yells, throwing money at him from her pockets. “Stay the fuck away from my sister!” I yell as he hauls back into his pickup and drives off. Aaron held me back, whispering for me to calm down. Then I hear Lila crying, that calms me down real quick. “It’s ok, Lila. He’s just a deadbeat. You owe him nothing.” I try to hug her, but get forcefully pushed off in anger. “What the fuck Lila?” “Don’t what the fuck me? What the fuck you! So he’s the reason?” Lila points to Aaron and all the color drains from me. “What?” “He’s the reason you were never ready for me to come to Virginia right? You were too busy fucking around with your boss to have your little sister, right?” My jaw drops at her statement. “Lila, Aaron has nothing to do with that.” I whisper, not needing the other members to hear what Lila has found out in minutes of knowing Aaron. “Bullshit Lehighton! Is he the reason you left the FBI the first time? What, did you guys break up or something and you left? We were this close to getting me out and then you just up and left everything! Is he why?” “Lila, there is so much you don’t know about me leaving the FBI okay? But you cannot blame Aaron for any of it.” “Can you guys please just get out? Mom is going to be home soon. You two don’t need to see anything from each other.”

Sometimes, when memories of teendom and Carson come back, I wish I could get knocked in the head so hard I remember nothing. Nothing seems better than those memories sometimes. “Aaron?” I’m surprised when I open the hotel room door to find him standing there. “I-I wanted to check in and see how you’re holding up. I know things got a little heated today.” “Did Garcia find anything on Carson?” His face dropped at the mention of him. Towards the end of the day they found something that might link Carson to the murders. I don’t know what, I don’t want to know. But he didn’t come here to talk about Carson or the case, he came to talk about everything else. “Can I come in?” Without a word, I moved aside and let him into the hotel room, dangerous territory really. “Besides the fact that he’s done nothing besides have some minor marijuana charges, nothing.” “Do you think he might actually be a suspect?” “Honestly Lehighton, I don’t know.” A sign leaves my lungs at his confession of the unknown “Are you okay?” “I’m fine, Aaron.” “I just, I wanted to see if you needed to talk to someone.” I roll my eyes, shaking my head. “Trust me, I don’t. If I start talking, I’ll start crying and I’ve done too much of that since being here.” “There’s no shame in that, With everything that has happened in the past-” There it was, the before. Before I left the team, everything that Aaron and I have been through… the real reason he came to this hotel room. “Aaron, it’s been over a year now, that’s all behind me.” Lies. He looked a little distraught at that moment. Aaron reached out grabbing both my hands in one of his. “You’re not okay, last time you tried to pretend you were ok you ended up leaving.” I shyly slip my hands out of his. “And I’d do it all over again.” I unexpectedly grit my teeth at him, the burst of aggression scaring us both. I take a breath before continuing. “Damn it Lehighton, talk to me like a normal person for one minute!” “I can’t just do that Aaron! You’re not a normal person! You’re my ex and my boss and someone who I have too much history with to just act like we’re fine!” Tears begin to form in my eyes. “We can’t even begin to act normal if you don’t want to talk about it, Lehighton!” “Fine-” I throw my hands out to the side dramatically. “Let’s talk about it Aaron. We had a relationship and I left with no explanation because I felt like I didn’t need to give you one!” Aaron signs at me. “I told you when you left there was no explanation needed, there was nothing to forgive-” “Yes there was Aaron! I killed something for both of us! I can’t just let that go like it’s not my fault!” “It wasn’t Lehighton, neither of us could’ve known.” Tears fell from his eyes and it only made me feel worse. My tears began running as well. Aaron reached out, cupping my face and wiping my tears away. I fell into his hand, missing his touch. “Believe it or not, I wished you the best when you left the BAU, even though it was the hardest thing I ever had to do… and when you came back to help on that case, I’ll admit, I was jealous. Jealous that you were happy, you were happy without me. You walked back into that room with the biggest smile on your face, and I missed you so much. You seemed so much happier than when I moved you out of your apartment that I couldn’t help but feel like an asshole for feeling like that cause you were miserable when you left.” I scoff at him, tears running down my face as I back away from his hand. “Aaron, I was anything but happy… not to be overly dramatic but those first 24 hours without you and Jack felt like I couldn’t breathe properly.”

“Lehighton, your mom is on line one, warning she’s pissed.” The mayor popped his head into the room as we were sitting around the table getting ready for another day of work, today I chose to join. “What the hell?” I ask myself as I click the accept button on the phone, letting the speaker phone stay on. “Lehighton Dawson! Just because you’re home doesn’t mean you can just let Lila skip school!” Everyone looks at each other confused as Lila was nowhere near me since the blow up at the house. “Whoa whoa, slow down. Lila isn’t with me. I haven’t seen her since yesterday.” “Well then explain to me why I just got a call from the school saying she never showed up today.” The air, all of it, was suddenly knocked out of my lungs. “Maybe she just skipped, she’s probably still upset about the fight.” JJ quickly jumps in, trying to calm both me and my mother’s nerves/ “No, no, Lila would never. She has perfect attendance.” My mother speaks in a panic from the other end of the call, I nod agreeing with her. “She’s right. Lila isn’t like that. Something is wrong.” With that comment, Emily is already out of the room making calls, labeling Lila as a missing person. “Oh my god, Lila’s missing, with a killer on the loose. Oh my god, Lila!” “Mom, mom, calm down, we’ll find her! You have the best team looking for her.” “Dawson!” The mayor bursts back into the room. “There is someone on line 2, they say they want to talk to you.” “Mom, I gotta go.” Without another word, I hang up and quickly switch to line 2 without waiting for a go from the team. “This is SSA Leighton Dawson.” “Lehighton, it’s so good to hear your voice again. After seeing you the other day. I knew I needed to see you again.” Once again the air from the lungs is stolen as the voice of Carson White sounds throughout the room. It doesn’t take more than a second for the team to understand the situation. “Carson, where is my sister?” “Don’t worry, she’s safe. I promise.” “Lehighton!” From the background I can slightly hear her voice. “Carson I swear if you hurt her I will make your life living hell!” Just saying his name hurt my chest. “Lehighton, why would I do that? You love your sister, I could never hurt her.” “Just like you didn’t hurt Chrissy Langdon?” Carson chuckles at her name. “You wished her dead, Lehighton, I was just granting your wish. You hated her, she made you miserable, I was just helping.” Aaron can see the goosebumps rise on my arms and he motions for me to not speak, but I don’t listen. “That was in high school Carson! I haven’t thought about her in years.” “Well, now you’ll never have to worry about her ever again.” “Carson. Where is my sister?” “She’s here, with me, at the old train tracks in the back car. You can come get her if you want.” “What’s the catch?” “Nothing, just the pleasure of your company.” “You must be crazy if you think I’m coming into that train car alone.” He laughs again. “I’m not crazy and I want to meet your team, I want you to bring Aaron Hotchner., tonight at sundown. Don’t be late.” Before being able to speak again the line goes dead, and I scream my lungs out.

–

“I’ll go in first, we'll get Lila and get out as soon as possible.” Aaron explains the plan once again as I sit in the passenger seat beside him on the way to the train tracks. Spencer and Emily in the back. “Understood.” “Reid, station at the back door in case we need back up.” “We won’t.” I say matter-a-factly. “Reid, back door.” “Got it.” ‘We won’t! Carson isn’t getting out that easy. He’s going to rot in jail, understand?” Aaron stays silent, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him.

“Carson, drop the gun.” The sight before me was terrifying, my hand was shaking, my eyes were watery. Lila was kneeling with her hands tied behind her back as Carson stood, his arm wrapped around her neck in a light choke hold. A gun, in his opposite hand against her head. Only now do I understand at least a little bit of the guilt Aaron feels towards his ex-wife. “Lehighton, nice to see you again.” “Shut up and drop the gun.” “And if I don’t?” “You get shot.” Aaron announces unwaverly. “I’m here now, let her go.” I drop my gun down to the floor, showing no threat to him. “No!” He suddenly shouts, making Lila jump in his hold. “She doesn’t deserve to live! You love her, you should love me!” Carson suddenly raised his gun in my direction, being faced with death. Not the first time on the job. At the motion Aaron moves to block me, completely hiding my body from Carson’s view. Dumbass. “Don’t block her from me! I know too much! She loves me, not you! I’ll shoot you!” Carson was unraveling and finally processed Aaron in his presence. The threat seemingly over makes his confession of knowing, as I stop in front of Aaron, although if he really wanted to shoot Aaron, my body wasn’t going to stop him.

I could only imagine the confusion that was covering the team’s faces, minus Rossi’s. I am almost 100% sure that Aaron had confided in him about our relationship. They’re hearing everything through the wire I was currently wearing. “Think about what you’re saying very very carefully, please.” I beg at this point. “What you know is just going to hurt her. You don’t want to do that, do you?” Aaron suddenly speaks again, trying everything to get him to stop talking. “You hurt her the second you got her pregnant.”

The bomb was dropped.

“Lehighton, what do you see in him! He’s old enough to be your father and he’s your boss! What the hell is wrong with you? When did you become such a slut!” Anger, anger filled me. Yes, I hated him before this moment, however the feeling I felt in that moment didn’t hit me until now. “Go fuck yourself Carson!” Redness rose in Carson’s face as the gun was once again raised, to point at Aaron. That's when from the corner of my eye I spotted him… Spencer at the back door of the train car, rushing forward, gun pointed at Carson. I process what’s happening, “No!” I rush forward as the sound of a gun goes off, I drop to the floor, just as I reach Lila, wrapping my arms around her before black takes over my vision.

I open my eyes to a black sky full of shining stars. For a moment, I think it’s heaven or some kind of afterlife, but then I see the red and blue lights flashing and the sounds of people talking and sirens. I quickly notice myself on a gurney, an air mask around my face. I sit up, slipping the mask off and suddenly an EMT is at my side. “You need to keep that on-” “Where’s Lila?” “She;s okay, she was taken to the hospital just as a precaution.” I nod, pulling my knees to my chest, and I feel the familiar feeling of a panic attack begin to set in as the events of the night replay in my head. I stand as I continue to hyperventilate. Looking around, stumbling aimlessly through the crowd of police and EMTs my eyes land on my team. Derek is the first one to notice me, he breaks the conversation with Aaron to turn his attention to me. None of them have ever seen me like this, see me break. The thought of that is oddly enough what’s causing the majority of my panic. I seemingly lose track of time as in the next second I’m clinging to Aaron, breaking down in his arms. It’s unclear how long I was there before opening my eyes and spotting the EMT’s wheeling something out on a gurney… a black body bag. Lile and the rest of my team is accounted for, it could only be him. I don’t know what comes over me as a scream bursts from my throat, I try to run towards the EMTs only being stopped by Aaron’s arms around my waist pulling and keeping me back. Collapsing onto the ground Aaron still holding on tight and not letting me go.

#aaronhotchnerimagines #aaronhotchner #aaron hotchner imagines #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #aaron hotchner

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peterman-spideyparker · 2 years

Text

Mr. Russo (Billy Russo x Secretary!Reader)

Author’s Note: I’ve had this fic and other Billy Russo stories in my drafts for ages, and I figured while I was working on other Daredevil and Moon Knight fics, I’d throw in some of these older ones that I’ve never posted. I think the original intention was for this to be longer and a multi-part series, but I don’t like that idea anymore. I cut about a thousand words, and I might include those as a bonus separate part--I’m not sure yet. Enjoy! :)

Summary: Working for Billy Russo wasn’t a challenge like most people would expect. You know how to do your job and how to do it well. One late night of working allows something about your past come to the surface, changing the trajectory of the relationship you share with your boss.

Warnings: Fluff, Billy softening up, angst (mentions of crappy experience in New York and the foster care system/Billy Russo being brooding and sad/hurt and rage/delicious tension), implied smut, cursing, mentions of addiction (drugs/alcohol)

Other Characters: Frank Castle

Word Count: 5,495

Another day in the books. Although everyday at Anvil is never the same, it can get a little monotonous. You answer the phone, respond to emails, draw up contacts, and do whatever Mr. Russo needs.

Oh, Mr. William Russo.

Intelligent, suave, cultured, and the definition of sex on two legs.

He works so hard in his business, and he cares about what he does. Anything that you can do to make his day less stressful, you’ll do it, and that definitely came in handy today, even if it still is a late night for him. You catch a glimpse at the clock on your screen—7:14pm. With a tired sigh, you hear him shuffle some papers around and push his chair out, moving a short distance to slide on his coat. You hear the click of his Italian leather shoes move closer to where you sit, and you smell his expensive cologne in the gentle breeze he brings by. You watch him as he walks with a purpose when he stops in his tracks, turning around to address you. “Do you ever even go home?” he asks.

“Sir?” you ask, unsure where he’s going with this.

“You’re always here before I get here—no matter how early—and you always stay after me. I just don’t get it.”

“I do my job,” you tell him. “It’s that simple. I do it, and I make sure that I do it well.”

“You also deserve a break—a life. Don’t you have friends around to go out for a drink or anything?”

“No, actually,” you admit. “Last friend I made in New York was one from when I got here. She then took 180 dollars from my wallet and ran away, making me scrape by for food for the rest of that week. My family isn’t nearby, either, if that was your next question. Work—this—is all I have, really.” Oh God, do you sound pathetic.

“Where is your family?” Mr. Russo asks, slowly moving back to your desk.

You scrunch up your bottom lip in a frown and shake your head. “I don’t know. I grew up in the system. I’m assuming whoever my parents are, they live in the Boston area, since that’s were I grew up.”

His expression softens to something to one that you have only seen twice before. It’s not quite pity, but it’s deeper than sadness. “You grew up in the system?” he asks softly.

You give a small nod. “It changes you pretty quickly.”

“It does.” His lips part like he wants to say something more, but he presses them in a tight line and sticks his hand in his jacket pocket, his eyes swirling with a mix of emotions.

“Is there anything I can do for you before you leave, Mr. Russo?”

He blinks a few times before he shakes his head. “N-No,” Billy breathes. “Have a nice night, (Y/N).”

“You too, sir.”

There’s flowers on your desk when you walk in the next morning. How are there flowers on your desk?

“Hello?” you call into the office, sliding pepper spray out of your purse. “Anyone here?” Dead silence. Nothing looks out of place except for the bouquet, and after a quick sweep of the office, you see that you are alone. You look through the flowers and don’t see any card. Logging into your computer, you quickly pull up surveillance to see who delivered these. Your jaw drops when you see Mr. William Russo himself walk in at four in the morning with the same giant vase of flowers to your right. You lean back in your chair, your brain not really comprehending what you just saw. After a few minutes, you move towards the beautiful assortment of white gardenias, yellow lilies, red tulips, and magenta lilacs. You stick your nose to the flowers and take in a perfume of scents that make your chest happy and bring a smile to your face, and that smile remains on your face as you get to work and organize Billy’s day.

“Mornin’,” Billy says with a nod, walking a few hours later, not acknowledging the assortment on your desk.

“Morning,” you respond as he moves closer. “Thank you,” you say just before he enters his office. You don’t need to turn around to know exactly where he is—about a stride and a half from being in the doorway to his office, his right foot mid-step. “They’re beautiful.”

He doesn’t respond, but he takes a minute before he continues his gait into his office.

The rest of the day proceeds as it normally does: you respond to client emails, answer the phones, do other office work, and hand Billy files, briefing him before his meetings.

“Have a nice night, (Y/N),” he says, adjusting his scarf on his peacoat as he walks past your desk.

“You too, sir,” you say. “And remember you have a 7:30 meeting tomorrow morning at the Four Seasons with Thaddeus Ross to discuss security for the SHIELD weapons conference.”

“Thank you for the reminder,” he says, turning to look at you, flashing you the faintest of smiles. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, considering you built this company from the ground up, I think you’d manage.” His smile grows a hair bigger. “Safe travels, Mr. Russo.”

The next few weeks proceed as they usually do, but you are dumbfounded yet again when you walk in Monday, about a month after you found the flowers on your desk.

“Morning,” Billy says, placing a coffee cup on your desk as he walks by. “Sweet cream cold brew, right?”

You turn in your chair and look at him, confusion and surprise written all over your face.

“Yeah,” you say. You notice he has a hot cup for himself in his hands. “You hate Starbucks.”

“I needed some extra caffeine this morning,” he shrugs.

“So the ‘shit-water jet fuel’ is what you were craving this morning?”

He nods, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. “Exactly,” he answers after he swallows. You can tell he still hates the brew.

“Well, thank you for thinking of me,” you say. “If you find yourself needing some more caffeine, just let me know and I’ll make a pot.”

His face says I’ll be taking you up on that in five minutes, but his lips say, “Thanks, (Y/N).”

The next morning, there is a bouquet of blush colored peonies, white gardenias, and purple roses on your desk.

“Vultures today, huh?” Billy says as he comes out of his office and to your desk, placing some outgoing mail in your organizer, adjusting some of the flowers in the assortment of roses, chrysanthemums, and asters. “That phone hasn’t stopped ringing all morning.”

“It’s the political season,” you hum as you shift your gaze upward. “All the big wigs want the best security money can buy. You’ve made it clear that you and your people are the ones for that job.”

“You know how to flatter a man,” he chuckles, shaking some nuts you’re snacking on in his hand before plopping them in his mouth.

“While you’re here,” you say, picking up a few slips of paper, handing them to him in an ordered fashion. “These are those calls back you were waiting for, these are inquiries from the three biggest politicians running for Senate, this is a message from Frank wanting to know if you’re on for dinner at Karen’s, and these are the Ulrich files you were waiting on.”

“Thank you, paperwork Santa,” he says, moving his gaze to quickly examine what is in front of him. “And here I thought it was gonna be a slow day.”

“Around here? Unlikely,” you grin.

He is about to say something more when he turns his head to the ringing of his direct line in his office. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “We’ll talk more later.”

You turn back to your computer in astonishment. We’ll talk more later? Is this the same Billy Russo that hired you? And does he mean casual talk or work talk? He would have made it clear, wouldn’t he?

“Anvil, this is (Y/N),” you say as you continue typing a contract on your desktop.

“(Y/N), hi,” you hear Mr. Russo say on the other end of the line.

“Is everything alright, sir?” you ask, spinning around in your chair and watching your boss give you a little wave through the industrial loft windows.

“We’ve been over this, you can call me Billy,” he reminds. “We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Sorry, it’s a force of habit.” You have to suppress a blush. “What’s going on?”

“I just got off of a call about that veteran’s fundraiser,” he says, and you shift to flip through the calendar.

“The one on Saturday night?”

“Exactly. They asked me to present an award and introduce a speaker that night. So in addition to networking and schmoozing, I’m gonna need to do some more things.”

“Let me know what you need to have ready, and it’ll be good to go by Friday night.”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d come with me Saturday. With my upgrade in duties, they gave me a plus one.”

What? “I appreciate the invitation, but I don’t know if I have anything black tie like that,” you say.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll have it all taken care of. So can I take that as I yes?”

“Y-Yes,” you stutter. “And—.”

“Perfect, you’re the best,” he says, having up the phone with a click.

Did your boss just ask you out? Or is this really just a work engagement?

When you come home from work on Friday, you see a black dress bag hanging off a garment rack with black bag hanging next to it. Locking up and putting down your things on the table by your door, you slowly move over to it.

“Told you I had it taken care of,” the note reads on the bag.

“What did you do, Russo?” you breathe, undoing the zipper. Inside, there is a stunning pine green gown. You look at the label and your mouth drops open: Oscar de la Renta. Taking it out of the bag, you see that it has a v-back, but has fabric coming off of each shoulder to give it a kind of cape effect. You feel like you’re moving in slow motion when you dare look over at the jewelry bag on the right next to it, seeing Harry Winston embossed in gold lettering. Carefully, you take it off of the hangar and peak inside, seeing three boxes neatly arranged. Placing it on your breakfast bar, you pull out the large necklace box, opening it to reveal both a sparkling diamond necklace and its matching earrings. Shocked, you pull the other two boxes out and find that they are the corresponding bracelet and ring. As you look down in disbelief, you catch a Louis Vuitton shoe box at the bottom of the rack.

You sit down on the barstool, lightheaded about the luxury that is around you. As if on cue, you see Billy’s contact light up on your phone.

“I’m assuming you’ve seen what you’ll be wearing tomorrow?” he says after you pick up.

“It’s way too much,” you say. “I appreciate it, but all this is more—it’s too much.”

“It fits the event,” he shrugs off. “It’s a ritzy event full of high-rolling investors, contributors, and other people within the top one per cent. Trust me, you’ll fit right in.”

“I just . . .”

“It’s a lot?” You swear he’s smiling like a devil on the other end.

“A hell of a lot.”

“If it makes you feel any better, the jewelry is on loan,” he says. “But the dress and shoes are yours to keep. Oh, and before I forget, you have an appointment to get your hair and nails done tomorrow with Donna at the Marigold Spa. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before your brain can think to ask him more, he is off the line, leaving you stunned in your apartment.

“Who is it?” you call from your apartment, responding to the rap at the door.

“Your chariot has arrived,” Billy says through the wood.

“I’m almost ready,” you say, nearly falling over as you try to put on the heels standing up. “Come in! It’s open.” You hear the door open and shut, and the click of expensive shoes against the vinyl floor.

“You know, for someone that works for a security company, leaving the door unlocked isn’t secure,” he teases.

“I knew you’d be over soon and I was still getting ready,” you say. “Just a courtesy.”

“To robbers.”

You chuckle as you successfully gain your footing in one of the shoes. “There’s water in the fridge if you’re thirsty,” you start as you slide on the other shoe, throwing a few last minute things in your clutch, and taking one final look at yourself in the mirror.

“I’m good," you hear him chuckle in a low timbre as you clack your way out of your room. “Thank you, though.”

“Alright, I’m all set to go,” you say as you enter the main living space.

Billy turns toward you and stands stock still. His eyes slowly look over your body from head to toe. It’s as if he’s drinking you in.

“Wow,” he finally says, his dark eyes twinkling in the lights of your kitchen.

“Well, the guy that picked it out has really good taste,” you say with a small grin and a blush rising up from your neck to your cheeks. “Thank you.”

He continues to look at you for a little while longer before he realizes that he’s staring.

“These are for you,” he says, holding out a bouquet of burgundy, cream, and lavender roses. “A little thank you for agreeing to come.”

“They’re beautiful,” you say, smelling them. You move to find a vase, getting the flowers settled before walking back towards Billy.

He puts out his arm for you to take.

“Shall we?”

“I still can’t figure out how you manage to do it,” you say as you walk beside Billy after he schmoozes the last of the big-wigs in tuxedos.

“Do what?” Billy asks with a lift of his eyebrow.

“Work so well with these upper-crusty people. Some of them very clearly just a face at this fundraiser and don’t care the same way you do. I don’t know if I could do that.”

“Unfortunately, that’s just what the business is sometimes,” he sighs. “But then I remember that Anvil gives veterans an outlet when they get home—a legitimate career. Then it makes the schmoozing and pretending to care about their Hamptons houses easier.”

“That’s a great way to think about it,” you say softly.

“Sometimes that’s all you can do.”

Instead of walking to the direction of your table, Billy leads you to the edge of the dance floor.

“Care do dance?” Billy smiles.

“I can’t promise that I won’t step on your toes,” you say, feeling a blush prick at your cheeks and your ears.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll have the band play something slow.”

You wouldn’t be surprised if his Marine-trained ears could hear how hard your heart is beating.

“How can I say no to that, then?” you say with a small smile, your mouth suddenly very dry.

Billy takes your hand and leads you in. As if the band knows, the song shifts to something slow. Billy holds one of your hands in his while the other rests on the small of your back, his palm spread wide, securely holding you as you both move across the floor.

“And here I was thinking you had two left feet,” he grins.

“Well, I guess it helps that it’s not a formal ballroom dance,” you blush. Seriously, he has to know how fast your heart is racing right now.

“Is this what you thought you’d be doing with your life?” Billy asks as you slowly move in a circle. “Being a secretary, dealing with executives and government officials, and going to charity fundraisers?”

“Isn’t it every little girls dream?” you smirk, quirking an eyebrow.

He chuckles, twirling you to the music before he pulls you back into frame.

“No, really,” Billy whispers. “What did you want to be when you were younger?”

You think about it, but only briefly. “An author, I think. With all the time I spent in the system, I always tried to figure out how I could get out or what it would be like when I did. I’d just write about it. It moved from that to creating these different worlds and different people that were everything that I wasn’t and everything that I couldn’t be. Those are what made me happy. Scholarships from those stories is what got me through college to get my undergrad.”

There’s something soft in his eyes, tender even, as he listens to you talk about your childhood dream. It’s soul-churning and completely devastating in every sense of the word.

“What about you?” you return. “I’m assuming that the military wasn’t six-year-old Billy’s dream.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he admits. “I wanted to be a baseball player. But there were things that happened when I was a kid . . .” He clears his throat. You’ve touched a nerve.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—.”

“No, it’s okay. Saying that my childhood was shitty is an understatement, but it made me who I am and brought me here. In a way, I think the Marines was the only thing that made sense for me.” He gives you a gentle smile, pushing away the dark cloud that emerged on his face. “And just think: without it, we wouldn’t have met. And I don’t know about you, but our time together makes me happier.”

Your heart stops and leaps into your throat. He has to just mean as a coworker—maybe just even someone who isn’t an ex-Marine that he gets to see to break up his environment. You can’t let your mind go to these conclusions. It’d just be a disappointment, and he’s my boss. Still, you find yourself unable to look away from his hypnotic gaze, the tenderness in his expression making you melt. The song stops and he drops the frame, and you let your eyes flutter a few times so you can adjust your head out of the haze he has placed you in. Billy keeps his hand in yours as you stand, pointing his head towards your table.

“C’mon,” he says. “I heard the steak was supposed to be amazing.”

“Did you have fun tonight?” Billy asks as you hand him a bottle of water, his elbow cooly leaning against the island.

“Surprisingly, yes,” you admit, taking off the heavy jewels. “I don’t know, I hear fancy fundraiser, and I don’t think ‘party.’”

“That’s cuz you’ve never been to a Billy Russo fundraiser,” he smirks.

“I guess those are the only ones worth going to, then.”

“You know, I’m really glad you came tonight.”

“You are?”

“You sound surprised.”

“Oh,” you blush, but a nagging question starts to echo in the back of your brain. “I-I didn’t mean to. Just tired.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’ll let you be for the night,” he says with a soft smile, giving you hand a gentle squeeze on the island before he moves away. “See you Monday, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Okay, that’s it.

“Are you only being nice to me because you found out I grew up in foster care?” you blurt as he walks towards the door. There’s no turning back now. “Before, you’d never say more than you needed to to me, and now for five months, you’ve gotten me flowers, you ask about my day, you know my coffee order, and you left me an insanely gorgeous gown and jewelry to wear to a fundraiser that I wasn’t supposed to go to in the first place.” You pause for a moment, processing that you’re probably running a bond that you’ve wanted for a long time, not to mention your job, probably. “What’s changed?”

“You know I grew up in the system?” he asks, his head turned to the side while his back is still to you.

“I do,” you answer. You had done some deep digging when you were applying for the job, trying to find out as much about the company and its founder as possible.

“Then you should realize that I sympathize with you. Pouring your life into something to move yourself as far away from your past as possible.”

“What I’m really hearing is that all of this from the last few months has just been pity,” you say bitterly, and you try to push away the feeling of tears stinging at your waterline. “And if that’s what this job has turned into, then I don’t need it. I know my worth, and it’s more than that—than whatever this is.”

Your statement causes him to spin around so fast you think he’s gonna get whiplash. He strides over to you so quickly you almost can’t process it. He drops his keys to the ground before kissing you hard, one hand on your waist as the other holds onto the back of your head. He almost knocks you off your feet, but his hands on your body assure that it can’t be a possibility. Your hands rest on his shoulder as your lips move against him, kissing him back just as urgently. His beard tickles a little, but you’re not moving in a way that makes it scratch. When Billy finally pulls away, you’re both left panting for air.

“It’s not pity,” he clarifies. “It’s admiration. I had always thought you were some brown-noser with daddy issues, but you always had this integrity and determination. And then . . .” he trails, his eyes intent and glassy. “I know that drive you have, and that fear of being a disappointment. Hell, that’s how I got here. I wanted to show you that we’re not that shit that happened to us. I wanted to show you that I care.”

“It’s a hell of a way to show it,” you say quietly, looking at his big brown eyes. “I, um . . .” you swallow hard and let emotion contort your face, reeling your feelings in before you continue. “Every time someone finds out, they treat me differently. I really didn’t want you to be one of those people. You might not have thought so, but the way you treated me before made me feel like I finally had a place, y’know? I had a purpose to do something. That I was needed and wanted.”

“I know,” he nods.

“I guess I’m just confused why now.”

“You’ve been my secretary for four years. You know things about me that I don’t even know all the time. You know things about me that you don’t need to know, but you care enough to. I’ve always wanted to know those things about you, but . . . I’m not great at communication with people that—.” He stops to clear his throat, furrowing his brows together. “The only good relationships I have are with Frank and Curtis, and that’s because we’ve been through hell and back with and for one another. I didn’t know where to start with you, because you just come in and you’re like this . . . force to be reckoned with. I guess that finding out we had something in common made me think I could know you better.”

Billy tucks some stray hair behind your ear as he looks at you. “I don’t want to go back to what this was before,” he says softly. “I like this. Having a friend. Connecting with someone. And . . . I like to think this has the potential to be more than that. Than friends.”

“Well, I guess I need to know if you kiss all your friends like that.”

A small smile spreads across Billy’s face. “Just the ones that use lemon shampoo and look good in designer dresses.”

“I’m not fired, am I?” you whisper. “Because I think a kiss like that is some kind of HR violation.”

“Not if you don’t want to be,” he responds. “I will say, though, the job market is tough right now.”

“Is this something we can do?”

“I’m willing to make it work if you are.”

You nod your head. “Let’s try it.”

Billy leans back in for a kiss, this one more gentle that the last, but just as deep. Your arms wrap around him and settle on his back, and you feel him lift you up slightly as he pulls you into him.

“We’re gonna do this slowly,” he breathes, brushing his nose against yours, his chocolate eyes staring into your soul.

“Okay,” you quietly agree. “Slow.”

“We have different definitions of slow,” you hum as Billy presses a kiss to the back of your naked shoulder.

“Trust me, I wanted to, but I have a thing for brunettes in designer dresses,” he says, dragging his hands down the bare curves of your body in post-sex bliss. “And it looks just as good on the floor as it did on you tonight.”

You laugh as you roll onto your back, your head resting on his shoulder.

“Hi,” he says with a dreamy look on his face.

“Hi,” you say, returning his gaze. He leans down and presses a soft, tender kiss to your lips before resting his cheek on the crown of your head. You lay like this in blissful silence as his fingers play with yours, the pale moonlight trickling into your bedroom through the curtains. You think he has fallen asleep—and you almost have—when he shifts a little on the mattress.

“Did you ever think of finding them?” he asks quietly. You know exactly who “them” is.

“I did find them,” you say. “I found out all about them, too. A little after I told you about growing up in the system, actually—curiosity got the best of me.” You think about what you know, and the silence weighs heavy in the bedroom. “My father was an alcoholic, and my mother used all kinds of drugs. They had a short and nasty relationship and split before I was born. My dad worked on the docks, showed up one day drunk, hit is head, and drowned. Based on his obituary, I was six when he died. My mom sobered up around that time, got married, and lives in Cape Cod.” You feel hot, angry tears sting at your waterline. “Two kids, and a freakin golden retriever.”

“And I’m guessing you don’t want to reach out?” he asks carefully.

You scoff. “No. Didn’t want me then, won’t want me now. I’m a part of that past that she worked to forget. I don’t want to go near her with a ten-foot pole. Besides, if she wanted to know me, she’d find me. She’d find a way. And she hasn’t. That says all I need to know.”

Billy wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, pressing a long kiss to your forehead.

“She’s missing out on the best person that I know,” he whispers.

Too emotional to respond, you snuggle into him and nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck.

“Have you?” you whisper. “Found yours?”

“I found my mom,” he swallows. “She chose meth over me—she safe-havened me. From then on it was group homes.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I think I’ve made my peace with it all. Can’t change it. But it made me who I am, and I’m okay with who I am.”

You don’t ask any more onto the subject. Instead, you snuggle in closer to him.

“For what it’s worth,” you breathe. “I really like who you are, too.”

Billy turns so you’re huddled together chest-to-chest, his arms holding onto you tightly, kissing your forehead before tucking your head under his chin. You fall asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

You practically jump out of your skin when you feel a pair of arms loosely wrap around your middle.

“Jesus, Billy,” you sigh. “You really don’t make a sound if you’re not wearing Italian leather shoes.”

His laugh comes out as a hum as he places a kiss on the back of your neck, right on a bundle of nerves he found out about last night.

“I woke up and you weren’t there,” he murmurs into your skin. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” you grin as you turn the waffle maker.

He kisses your neck again before resting his chin on your shoulder. “I thought the guy was supposed to make breakfast.”

“Not in my house,” you say, running your fingers through his hair as you move to flip some bacon. “My place, my job to make you some food.”

“Fine,” he sighs, moving from you, but not before placing a light smack on your rear. “But I make the coffee.”

“You want any eggs?” you ask.

“Nah,” he says, pouring coffee grounds into the filter. “This all is more than enough. I don’t usually get to enjoy this part.”

“Well, if we’re gonna make a habit of this, it’s something you better get used to.”

You finish making breakfast in harmony, exchanging sections of the newspaper as you eat.

“Wow,” Billy chews, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re destroying the crossword.”

“It’s a talent,” you smirk as you pause before filling in the rest of your answer. “Now, is it ‘ei’ or ‘ie’ in Steinbeck? I can never remember.”

“I guess you got cocky too soon,” he smiles.

“Yes, and I’m big enough to admit it. Which is it?”

“I’ll tell you, but it’ll cost ya.”

“Oh?” you say as his hand slides into mine, silently inviting you to get up and sit in his lap. You do, and his free hand squeezes your thigh.

“It’s gonna cost you a kiss,” he hums.

“Mm, you run a hard bargain, but I think I can afford that,” you smile, biting your lip as you press your mouth into his. It’s tender, and even with coffee in your systems, there’s something sexily sleepy about the embrace.

“It’s ‘ei’,” he breathes, his lips brushing against yours before placing another kiss on you lips.

“Thank you,” you say, filling in the squares and placing a soft kiss on the freckle just below his eye. His hand then gently holds your cheek, bringing your lips down to his. The kisses grow more needy, and just after he adjusts you so your legs straddle his lap, his phone starts to ring. Reluctantly, he pulls away and looks at his phone.

“Shit,” he hisses before he answers. “Hey, Frankie.”

“Brother, where are you?” you hear Frank ask through the phone.

“Yeah, no, I’m on my way,” he sighs. “I just got a little held up this morning.”

“Mm, yeah,” you hear him chuckle. “Where’d you find this one?”

Billy looks at you with warm, sparkling eyes. “I think she found me.”

“And the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day.”

“Yeah, shut up,” he chuckles. “I’ll be there soon.”

Billy hangs up to avoid any more snark over the line from his friend, but not before kissing you once more.

“I didn’t realize it was this late,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. I gotta go.”

“I know: ten o’clock runs with Frank, every Sunday. And if you go by the office, you have some extra workout clothes there so you don’t have to run in a tuxedo.”

“Nothin’ gets by you.”

“Nope,” you smile, popping the ‘p’.

You get up from his lap and begin to clean up the table while Billy moves back to your room to get his clothes.

“I will trade you one dress shirt for one very soft and fluffy robe,” he offers when he comes back into the kitchen, your Hello Kitty robe hanging from his finger.

“I guess I accept,” you sigh dramatically. You slide Billy’s shirt off of your body and hand it to him as he slides the robe onto your shoulders.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks, adjusting the collar on your robe.

“Tomorrow,” you nod. “Have fun with Frank.”

“Somethin’ tells me I’d be havin’ more fun here.”

He leans down to kiss you, repeatedly procrastinating his delay with each punctuation of his lips.

“Okay,” he kisses. “I’ll see you—.” Kiss. “—tomorrow morning—.” Kiss. “—bright—.” Kiss. “—and—.” Kiss. “—early.”

You giggle as he takes you in for more kisses. You pull away from his reach, only to be swept back in for one final kiss.

“I really gotta go, now,” he sighs, tucking hair behind your ear.

“I know. I’ll see you soon.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger @steampowerednightvaler @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles @toozmanykids @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop @itwasthereaminuteago @peter1ismybrother

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fluff #billy russo angst #billy russo smut #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo fanfiction #ben barnes #billy russo punisher #the punisher #the punisher netflix #the punisher disney+

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writingseaslugs · 1 year

Text

Scarabia: Injured Reader

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post.

Injured Reader Headcanons

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim rarely gets injured since Jamil is pretty good at making sure he doesn’t. Getting poisoned is normally what happens, and it’s been years since the last time. So he’s not all too experienced with injuries other than common ones, like stubbing your toe or getting a paper cut. He finds sucking on his finger is more than enough, despite Jamil groaning and telling him to run it under water and put a plaster on it.

Kalim was the number one witness at his own party, watching as you fell down and got stepped on by a student who bumped into you. It was an accident, but he wanted to cry as he ran over and pulled you away from the situation. He sat you down away from the party and apologized that he let you get hurt like that…even though it wasn’t really serious. At most, you’d have a bruise, but he still felt horrible about it.

If you get an actual injury though, he’s grabbing Jamil to help him. He’ll even be asking him if he can teach him how to treat the injury, so if it happens again it can be him helping you out. Once the injury is treated, he’ll be sticking by your side and offering you to stay over at the dorm until you’re all better…even if you insist that’s not needed. Besides, Jamil is already making some food for you to get better with, so might as well stay for dinner.

Jamil Viper

Jamil is far too careful to get injured seriously. He’s had a few incidents as a child, and some at basketball practice. At the end of the day though, his experience is taking care of Kalim and his siblings. He was taught at a young age with proper first aid techniques, so if the young master ever got hurt he could help. Those skills do come in handy though since he goes to a school with a bunch of reckless idiots, and sometimes Kalim is begging for him to help out.

Jamil is going to be annoyed when he watches you grab onto a pan that you thought was cool and burn your hands. Hiding his concern, he grabs your hands and pulls them to him and inspects the damage. He’s going to be sighing and looking at your face, making sure you don't have tears in your eyes. If you do, he might get a bit softer on you and just drag you to the sink to run your hands under water

Whenever you get injured in his presence, he’s dragging you to his room, your bathroom, or the nurse’s office (depending on where you get injured). Be expecting a good scolding while he tells you not to be so reckless and more aware of your surroundings. He’ll make sure you’re better though, and if there’s a potion to help you out, then he’ll be grabbing some. He has a pretty good first-aid stock at his dorm since he can never be too prepared.

Beta Fishies:@kingheinrey, @epiphyllous, @mint-moushi

Are you a fan of Diasomnia like me? I bet you are if you read my content (we love the boys in this household). Want to support a visual novel that will feature Diasomnia dorm, has multiple routes and endings, as well as some spicy visual scenes? Check out @twstfournights and if you want info, check out their announcement post!

#Twisted Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #TWST #TWST x Reader #TWST Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland Disney #TWST Disney #Kalim Al-Asim #Kalim Al-Asim x Reader #Kalim x Reader #Jamil Viper #Jamil Viper x Reader #Jamil x Reader

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blackcurlsgreeneyes · 12 days

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RP: The Sun Will Come Out // Closed RP

continued from thread with @fidelixcorde

Harry couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy, in recent years. It would have also been credit to Taylor or the Weasleys, no doubt....but this was just a perfect moment. He was surrounded by people he cared about, a large family that was expanding, and he had Taylor, Ron, and Hermione beside him. It was the perfect way to celebrate reaching wizarding legal adulthood.

Taylor's purred promise made him blush, trying not to let his imagination get away from him. Though judging by the knowing smirk on George's face, he might not be too far off.... And that proved true, as he was sneakily led away from Charlie's haircut doom and upstairs.

Now that was how to celebrate a birthday.

His hair was unapologetically ruffled and he had to switch shirts to something with a higher collar to cover a particularly gorgeous bite left on his collarbone, and Harry was grinning helplessly as they rejoined the family downstairs. Hermione took one look at him, then Taylor, then went pink and giggled, and George gave him a passing high five that confirmed his suspicion of who had been on keep everyone downstairs duty.

Their dinner guests began arriving, and Harry found himself seated at the head of the table in the garden as they feasted, and then Molly brought out truly the most breathtaking culinary creation he had ever seen. He had to leap up and hug her again, tears in his eyes as he thanked her.

"First day of the best start of my life," Harry said fondly, beaming back at Hagrid. "I mean, having Taylor growing up was grand, but finding out we were headed for Hogwarts....life got good." He examined the small bag Hagrid handed him, and its explanation made him smile, hopping up to give Hagrid the closest to a hug that he could manage. "Thank you! This is amazing." Oh, it would come in handy as they traveled, he was sure of that.

“S’nothin’,” Hagrid laughed. “An’ there’s Charlie! Always liked him—hey! Charlie!” Charlie approached, running his hand slightly ruefully over his new, brutally short haircut. He was shorter than Ron, thickset, with a number of burns and scratches up his muscly arms. “Hi, Hagrid, how’s it going?” “Bin meanin’ ter write fer ages. How’s Norbert doin’” “Norbert?” Charlie laughed. “The Norwegian Ridgeback? We call her Norberta now.” “Wha—Norbert’s a girl?”

“How can you tell?” Hermione asked with intrigue.

“They’re a lot more vicious.” Charlie grinned knowingly. "Can't say that's unusual, though, I've always thought women are scarier by far. He looked over his shoulder and dropped his voice. “Wish Dad would hurry up and get here. Mum’s getting edgy."

Harry looked over; Molly was talking to Madame Delacour, while glancing repeatedly at the gate. “I think we’d better start without Arthur,” she called to the garden at large after a moment or two. “He must have been held up at—oh!”

A streak of light that came flying across the yard and onto the table, where it resolved itself into a bright silver weasel, which stood on its hind legs and spoke with Mr. Weasley’s voice. “Minister of Magic coming with me.”

The Patronus vanished, leaving Mrs. Weasley looked bewildered. “The Minister—but why—? I don’t understand...."

#fidelixcorde #RP: The Sun Will Come Out #continued thread #Harry x Taylor #dimension jump #year 7

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m1ckeyb3rry · 5 months

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Pomegranate Ink: XXXII

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: The final confrontation against Sukuna.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.2k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: man idek at this point…call it sibling bonding or wtvr

“You’re sure you have to do this?” you said, holding onto the end of Gojo’s shirt and walking alongside him, following him to the door. He had already said farewell to the others; you were the only one left, the only one who refused to let go. It was typically like that, though — you were closer to him than the others were by virtue of knowing him throughout your childhood, even before coming to the school.

“The only other option is to allow Sukuna to keep Megumi,” Gojo said. “And to terrorize society at his leisure. We both know that that’s not something we can live with. I do have to do this, whether or not you want me to.”

“Speaking of which, do you think Megumi can still be saved?” you said. “Or is it too late? Must we let go of him already?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I will…I will try my best to bring him back, but in the process of defeating Sukuna, I might have to harm him a bit, so I can’t guarantee it. It’s an impossible position we’re in, since Sukuna and Megumi are one and the same, but we want to save one as much as we want to kill the other.”

“That’s what I’m here for, though,” you said grimly. “You can beat him up as much as you need to. I’ll heal him up and he’ll be back to his normal self with no issues. By this time next week, he’ll be sighing all passive-aggressively all over the place, and it’ll be like he never left.”

“It makes me feel better to know that’s the case,” he said. “Relying on you leaves less of a bitter taste in my mouth than relying on others. And while we’re on the subject, you have what I gave you yesterday, right?”

“Yes, of course, but like you said, I don’t think they’ll come in much handy for me anymore,” you said. He shrugged.

“You never know. Maybe you’ll decide you want them, for some reason,” he said. “Just keep them safe. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how precious they are.”

“I already promised I would! Besides, even if they weren’t like that, I would’ve taken care of them all the same. Anything from you is precious to me,” you said. He mimed gagging.

“That was horribly cheesy, by the way,” he said, ruffling your hair as he often did when his hands were free and his mind was busy but he wanted to show his affection for you in some way. “But I appreciate the sentiment, I guess.”

“I know you feel the same, you dumb egret, so there’s no need for the tough act,” you said.

“Egret? Calling me that is a little far out of the realm of plausibility,” he said. “I don’t look anything like one.”

“Hm, I don’t know. I think it’s perfectly apt as a description,” you said. He considered this before shrugging.

“We can discuss the semantics later. For now, come here,” he said, opening his arms. You embraced him in the way you always did, and it felt the way it always did, too, warm and comfortable and solid despite how cold his extremities were and how lean his body was.

“You never used to hug me so much,” you said, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong or happening, that this was just an ordinary farewell, as if you were only going back home for the weekend or something. “This is a recent development. What gives?”

“Blame it on old age,” he said.

“You aren’t even thirty yet,” you said. “That’s hardly considered ‘old age’ in any sense of the concept.”

“It’s older than you are,” he shot back. “But fine. For luck, then?”

“For luck,” you agreed. “I’ll see you later, Gojo.”

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said, and then you were alone in the doorway, gazing at the empty space where he had once been and wishing for only the briefest moment that he was not so selfless, that he had instead chosen to abandon the world and everyone to stay with you and be your teacher forever.

Everyone was waiting for you back in the room where Mei Mei had connected her crow vision technique to a bunch of TVs, letting you all watch the confrontation between Gojo and Sukuna in real-time and adjust your responses accordingly. After all, there were so many variables at play that without that, it would be impossible for anyone to know what to do next. It was the whole reason that Gojo had called her in the first place — well, that, and because of her little brother Ui Ui, who was on the whole even more useful than she was.

You made a beeline for the couch where Yuta and Maki were, settling in between them, surprising just about no one. Wrapping your arms around Yuta’s bicep, you lay your cheek against it, knocking your knees against his as you sat, for he would serve as your support now more than ever.

“He’s gone,” you said when it became obvious everyone was waiting for you to speak. “Left for Shinjuku. They should get started soon.”

“I wish he would’ve let us come help him,” Hakari said. “Don’t interrupt me, Y/N! I know that he works better alone, so we would actually drag him down, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it.”

“Actually, I was just going to say that it’s a pleasant surprise to see you concerned about someone other than yourself,” you said. “I’m really proud, Hakari. It seems like you’ve grown a lot in the past month.”

“Oh, shut up,” he said. You rolled your eyes but found you were too stressed to actually engage in any meaningful arguments with him. Anyways, it was as you always said: arguing with Hakari only made a person dumber, and now was not the time for that sort of thing.

“There he is,” Maki said, pointing at the screens where Gojo could now be seen, as cocky as ever, made more arrogant by the way he was towering over Sukuna, who was after all in the body of a first year student.

“Wow,” Hakari said. “Fushiguro is such a little shrimp! That boy needs a growth spurt immediately.”

Wordlessly, Yuta handed you a pillow, already knowing what you wanted to do. Accepting it gratefully, you chucked it at Hakari, smiling slightly when it smacked into his stomach, prompting a groan from him but then a blissful silence afterwards. Kirara did briefly glare at you, the closest thing to retaliation you got, but since you didn’t care much about that, it was a positive outcome overall.

“He’s not that short,” Itadori defended, though considering he was shorter than Megumi, there was definitely some bias coloring his words. “Besides, anyone would look tiny next to Gojo, except for maybe Todo.”

“That’s true,” Hakari allowed. “Yeah, I’ll apologize to Fushiguro next time we meet. Plus, all of us are like that in our first years. The rest of his family members that I’ve seen are pretty tall, so I’m sure he’ll be like that once he grows up.”

After that, you all mostly were silent, only occasionally remarking on events as they happened. Sukuna and Gojo moved at a pace almost too fast to comprehend, and it seemed their minds worked at that kind of speed, as well. The things they were doing were unfathomable to sorcerers like the rest of you, every new move drawing gasps from everyone watching, mostly due to the sheer gall they required and the way they were completely redefining sorcery as you knew it. There was no doubt in any of your minds: this was truly a clash of the two strongest sorcerers in all of history, and despite Gojo’s confidence, there was no certain victor. It could happen in any way. The scales could tip in either’s favor at any moment, and it was likely that you wouldn’t even realize until the balance was so unequal that nothing could be done to restore it.

“So that’s Mahoraga,” Kusakabe said at one point. It had definitely come as a surprise that the generally self-interested teacher had decided to stay and fight alongside the others instead of running like Noritoshi and Elakshi had, but for some reason, even though he wasn’t particularly strong, his presence comforted you. Like Ieri and Gojo, he had once been an authority figure in your life, someone who could be counted upon to know the answers to your questions, so now that the scenario was so confusing, having him there made it feel like there was a chance that order could at some point be restored. Furthermore, due to his expertise and experience as a teacher, he was able to explain what was happening to everyone in a way that you could understand, which was invaluable.

According to Kusakabe, Mahoraga was the pinnacle of the Ten Shadows technique that was engraved on Megumi’s body. It was a massive, hulking being that was an amalgamation between man and snake, with its body vaguely humanoid but its head distinctly serpentine. It was inescapably eerie and uncanny, and you shuddered, pressing even closer to Yuta at the sight of it. He did not react, eyes trained on the screens, tracking every slight movement that Gojo and Sukuna made even before they made them.

“He can do it, can’t he?” Itadori said, voice small. “He can defeat Sukuna before Mahoraga adapts, right?”

Nobody responded, because of course none of you knew what the outcome would be. In such a close match, even a breath taken at the wrong time could be fatal for either party, so there was no way of knowing who would come out on top. Especially now that Mahoraga had been added into the mix, with his potential to cut through even the Limitless via adaptation…who could be sure? Who could still say with full confidence that Gojo would win, besides Gojo himself? Because you knew he would, could hear his haughty voice in your mind even now: I will win.

“Has he forgotten about Fushiguro?” Hana said. She was right: you had never seen Megumi’s body in a worse condition, but Gojo seemed to pay it no mind, adding to the cuts and bruises blooming on the boy’s fair skin at will, even taunting him as he went along, though naturally it was not Megumi he was insulting but Sukuna himself, Sukuna and his reliance on Megumi’s technique and the shikigami he could summon. What kind of King of Curses can’t even go against his enemy without the help of a little boy? Come on, give me a break!

“It’s fine,” Kashimo said. “I hope he has — it’s more interesting that way. He should’ve forgotten him from the start!”

“No way!” Itadori said. “You don’t even know him, so you can just be quiet, okay? Seriously! Who even invited you here?”

“Of course, he’s doing his best to save Megumi, but he can’t afford to hold back, not when Sukuna won’t do the same,” you said as Kashimo shrugged, obviously unbothered by Itadori’s words. “We’ll lose both of them if he does that. At this point, he has to rely on instinct, so he can’t give any consideration to Megumi anymore, not until it’s safe enough. Faltering is as good as surrendering, so he just can’t.”

“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Itadori said. “It makes sense, but it feels unfair. Fushiguro didn’t do anything! He doesn’t deserve this. It should be my body out there. It would be alright if I was the one that Gojo had to kill, but why him?”

“Have a little more trust in Gojo,” Yuta said evenly. “He always has a plan. It’ll be alright. Megumi’s important to him, so he wouldn’t leave things up to fate or chance. If he didn’t think that he could save him, then he would’ve said something; conversely, since he’s said he’ll do his best, he honestly will. You know he’s like that.”

As the only remaining special grade sorcerer — alongside Gojo, of course — Yuta’s words carried a certain weight to them, and indeed as soon as he spoke, there was a collective release of the tension gathered in the room. He was as right as always; Gojo wouldn’t just charge into things blindly. He was much too calculated to just disregard something so important in the heat of the moment like that, and especially not when Megumi’s life was up in the air. Megumi, who was probably the only other person he cared for as much as he did you. You were worrying because you could only see the results of the clash, not the thought process behind every move, but when had any of you ever truly been able to follow Gojo’s thought process in the first place?

At one point, when it looked like Gojo might lose, Yuta stood up. Takaba, a comedian-turned-sorcerer that had come with Itadori and allied himself with everyone else for some reason, did the same, and both of them headed towards the door. Nobody else took notice, completely fascinated by the unlikely comeback Gojo was in the process of making, but because you had been all but laying atop Yuta, you were immediately alerted to his departure.

“Where are you going?” you said, following after him, a suspicion growing in you that he was leaving to join the fight against Sukuna. Takaba glanced between the two of you before gulping and then waving, mouthing something at Yuta and then ducking out. You cocked your head at him before deciding that he was a comedian and therefore must be prone to doing such strange things.

“It’s something that I discussed with Gojo,” Yuta said. “Just last night. While everyone is focused on him and Sukuna, I’m going to take on Kenjaku. It’s the perfect moment to strike; no one will see it coming, especially not Kenjaku himself. Everyone thinks I’m the next in line if Gojo should fall, but in truth, I’ll be there, ready to kill that blight.”

“By yourself?” you said, numbness washing over you as your mind worked through what he was saying. He was going to go fight Kenjaku. It was even worse than going to help Gojo against Sukuna, because at least then, he’d have aid. But this — this was an endeavor he was undertaking all alone. He was going somewhere where no one could help him. Not Gojo. Not Maki. Not you. Nobody would be there for him.

“Takaba is going to be with me, so I won’t be alone,” he said, though this didn’t reassure you much. Takaba, a comparatively untrained sorcerer, would likely just serve as a distraction to cloak Yuta’s arrival, so the onus was still on Yuta’s shoulders. He was the one who would have to actually do it, which meant that he essentially was going against Kenjaku on his own.

“You can’t,” you said. “Yuta, you can’t. He beat Yuki Tsukumo, who was a special grade sorcerer! Listen to me this time and leave it. Don’t go. Let someone else take care of it.”

“Who but me could go?” he said. “It’s just as you said. He beat Yuki Tsukumo, which means no one else even stands a chance. I’m the only one left who can capitalize on this moment, the only remaining special grade sorcerer — bar the obviously preoccupied Gojo — and I cannot let this opportunity go. Kenjaku is as big of a thorn in our sides as Sukuna is, and we mustn’t let him live. He’s the reason all of this has happened, Y/N. Do you think I could just sit here and wait while he continues to exist?”

“Hakari can go,” you said desperately. “Or Itadori, or Choso. Anyone else can, but just not you. I don’t want it to be you. I can’t handle it if it’s you.”

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “Takaba and I have a plan, just like Gojo does. Even when things seem like they’re going badly, please remember this: we know what we’re doing. It may look like we’re struggling, but don’t just believe what you see. We have it all figured out.”

He was putting on a brave face for you. He didn’t have things ‘figured out’ any more than Gojo did; both of them were going into things blindly, facing off against opponents shrouded in mystery and unpredictability — they were mere men, battling preternatural, ancient monsters that had never tasted defeat. But for you, Yuta was pretending to have courage. You wondered where that frightened, deer-eyed boy you had met hiding under a desk in that high school had gone? The one who had ducked behind you at every loud noise? When had it become that he was the valiant one and you were the coward?

You couldn’t send him to his own death like this, but you also knew you could not stop him. He would go. You would stay. That was what your fates would be. His place was the battlefield, as yours was the hospital ward. That was why you could not beg him any longer — for you to ask him not to fight was like him asking you not to heal. It was what he was born to do, which meant that even if his subjugation was all but assured, he would still raise his sword, would still hold it with the very pride that a victor would, so that he might die in the same way he lived: as a jujutsu sorcerer.

“What will I do?” you said. “When you are gone, what will I do?”

“Wait for me,” he said. “Until I come back, you will wait for me. That’s what you’ll do.”

Unlike him, you couldn’t be considered strong, not anymore. You couldn’t maintain your composure, so it was with a choked cry that you flew at him, holding onto him as securely as you could, trying to memorize what he felt like, what it meant to embrace him, the way his body fit against yours, the way his heart beat against your chest, the exact smell of the soap he used to shower and wash his clothes.

“How am I supposed to do that?” you said. “How am I supposed to wait for you all alone?”

“You can do it,” he said. “You’re the girl I — you’re my Y/N. You can do it.”

“Please say it, Yuta,” you said. “Before you go, please tell me that you love me.”

Those words which he had never spoken, could never speak into existence. If he was going to challenge Kenjaku, then you wanted to hear them. If he might never come back again, then you wanted him to say them aloud. If there was no more hope for you two, then what did it matter if he cursed you with his love? You would accept such a curse gladly, if that was the only bargain.

“Y/N,” he said, and you knew before he said it what his answer would be.

“Just one time,” you pleaded. “You never have to again, but just once, please tell me.”

He was silent, only clinging to you tighter, too reluctant to let go immediately. But even when he tried to pull away, you refused to let him, knowing that once he left, he likely would not come back. Your dearest Yuta, your most beloved Yuta, your kind, gentle boy…how could he stand against a sorcerer like Kenjaku and win? Why was this pointless death the most he’d ever amount to? What kind of a person was he, that it didn’t even mean anything to him, that he marched forwards in spite of it?

Well, maybe it was because of this: he had, since his youth, been followed by that very death. Rika, the Queen of Curses, her darkness had been wrapped around him since the day she had become a vengeful spirit, and so death was the one thing which had never frightened him, not when the two were so intimately acquainted that it was as if they were old friends.

Maki did not question the fact that you were alone, that Yuta had vanished, that you were obviously weeping as you sat next to her. The others gave you looks containing various degrees of sympathy, but they, too, did not say anything. You were not their main concern at the moment, and neither was Yuta. It was Gojo who you were all thinking about, all focused on, because for the first time in the fight, he had the upper hand. For the first time, one thing was obvious: he was going to win. The scales had been disbalanced in his favor. He had exorcised Mahoraga and whatever other shikigami Sukuna had summoned, so it was down to the two of them, and while Gojo was hale, Sukuna was obviously tired. It wasn’t up in the air anymore — he was really going to do it.

Her reflexes were faster. She detected patterns quicker. She was just more skeptical than the rest of you. You weren’t sure which was truly the explanation, but it remained that Maki saw it happen before anyone else did. Sukuna smirked, if a mere twitch of his lips could be considered as such, and then Maki’s hand was slapping over your eyes and the world was dark and then someone was shouting. Itadori. It was Itadori, but why was he shouting? Hadn’t Gojo won? What reason did he have, then, to shout like that?

“Don’t open your eyes,” Maki instructed you. “Y/N, whatever you do, don’t open them.”

She knew better than you. You should’ve listened, but you did not. As soon as she removed her hand, you blinked your eyes open, trying to regain your bearings, and then you looked at the screen. After that, it was you screaming, not Itadori, trying to shut your eyes and pretend like you hadn’t seen it, pretend like it had just been a bad dream or intrusive thought or something. But even in your worst nightmares, your mind had never conjured up an image like that, which meant that you must’ve seen it, that it must’ve been real. It was real. It was real. It was real.

The scene was burnt into your mind: Gojo, his body cleaved into two, his upper half bloody on the ground but his legs still upright, so fast had it all been. As you had watched, they had collapsed beside his severed torso, and the sight was so gory that you would’ve retched if you had eaten anything earlier. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

But you were the girl who had brought someone back to life. This was not like Tullia, who had been beyond the point of saving once Sukuna got to her. You had to snap out of it; there was still a chance, after all. If you could get a hold of yourself, then there was still a chance. Reaching out, you grabbed Maki’s hand, squeezing it, clutching the only thing you surely had left in this world. She squeezed back.

“Someone, bring me his body,” you said, your voice shaky but determined. “As soon as possible. I can bring him back.”

“Hold on,” Hakari said, surprisingly softly given his usually brash attitude. “He’s cut in half, Y/N. You can’t possibly believe you can heal that.”

“It’s fine,” you said. “I can do it. This is why I gave up fighting: so that I can heal. I’ve done it before, so I will do it again. I will bring Gojo back to life.”

Thanks to Mei Mei’s little brother’s teleportation technique, Kirara was able to quickly retrieve Gojo’s body, setting the two halves on a gurney in front of you and then stepping back so that you could get to work, arranging the pieces so that they fit together once more. Sukuna’s technique was so perfect and precise that it appeared as if they had never been split in the first place, no overlaps or gaps between the jagged edges of his flesh.

He looked like he was sleeping. If your hands weren’t sticky with his blood, if you didn’t know that he would never be this still even when asleep, then you would’ve really believed that he was just resting. But your fingers were red and Gojo was incapable of serenity, so taking a deep breath, you reached far within yourself, drawing upon every single hurt you had ever felt, every injury inflicted upon you, every harsh word and lost friend. You reached for all of it and prayed it would be enough.

“Composition,” you said, waiting for the debilitating pain to hit you, the pain of death unto life, the pain you would gladly accept if it meant saving Gojo. But there was nothing. “Composition.” Nothing. “Composition.”

Nothing. There was nothing.

“Composition.”

Nothing.

Why was his heart not beating? Why was it not working? Why could you not save him? Why couldn’t you bring him back? You were capable of it. Why weren’t his skin and bones knitting together? Why did his organs not heave back into function?

“Gojo,” you said. “Gojo. Wake up now. It’s not funny anymore. Composition.”

You weren’t healing anything, but blood was pouring from your nose, your body protesting the constant activation and subsequent cancellation of your Reverse Cursed Technique. The droplets mixed with your tears, but you ignored both, because to acknowledge them meant acknowledging something else.

“Hey,” Maki said, tugging on your hand. “Come on.”

“No,” you said. “No. No. Composition.”

You were sobbing as you continued to initiate the Reverse Cursed Technique, uncaring of the fact that everyone was watching you, uncaring of the fact that your failure was on display for them all to see, uncaring of the fact that you were acting like a small child. Composition. Composition. Composition. That was the only thing on your mind.

“It’s time to give up,” Maki said. “Y/N. You can stop now. He’s really gone. Even you can’t bring him back.”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t think. You couldn’t breathe. All you could do was wail, grasping onto his shirt, his shoulders, whatever you could reach as Maki tried to pull you away, gagging as you bawled, the acrid smell of blood and sweat coating your nostrils and tongue as you threw yourself over his corpse. Your nature was like that, you realized. It was the same reason you had followed him to the door: you were not a girl who knew what it meant to let go.

“Why?” you gasped out as Maki physically lifted you and dragged you off of him, his sleeves tearing off as she yanked you away without care for how obstinately you were holding onto the scraps of him you could reach. “Why? I love him, too, so why can’t I bring him back? Let me go, Maki! I can still save him!”

“Y/N.” It was Ieri who was speaking now, her soft voice as sorrowful as it was severe. “You can’t. Some people are beyond saving.”

You had chosen to heal so that you could save people, but in the end, you had saved no one. Yuta was off fighting against Kenjaku, and who knew if he would survive that? Gojo was dead. Megumi was gone. You had never done anything that mattered. In the end, Composition, just like the L/Ns, had failed you. Some people are beyond saving. But that wasn’t supposed to matter to you. You were supposed to be able to save them, anyways.

“Ui Ui,” you said, the instant Maki put you down and you were standing on your own two feet, though she conspicuously did not remove her hands from your shoulders. Your grief had condensed into a hollow pit in your stomach, one that you shoved aside for the moment, knowing you could not think about it now. Feeling around in your pocket for Gojo’s final gift to you, you straightened your shoulders and felt a sort of calm wash over you when you found it, fingers curling around the cool wood. “I need you to take me to Sukuna.”

“What do you think?” Gojo said, presenting you with a small box containing a set of red needles. You hesitantly accepted them, wondering what use he thought you would have for them. “I harassed the L/Ns into imbuing them with Dissection as they were forged — that’s why they’re red like that — and then, I personally cursed them. Not just in that half-assed way I used to curse your old ones, either. Nope, these needles have more energy than even most Grade 1 sorcerers do! If the higher ups were still around, they would probably dub them special grade cursed tools, though they’re largely impractical to utilize for anyone but you.”

“I won’t ever use them,” you said. “So you shouldn’t have gone to all of that trouble. But thank you for doing that, and for entrusting them to me, anyways.”

“Who knows?” he said. “It just makes me feel better to know you have them. That way, you’ll never be defenseless. There’ll be this small piece of me that’ll always be with you, protecting you even when my entire self can’t be there to do it.”

“You didn’t train with everyone else,” Kusakabe said. “It’s too dangerous. You absolutely cannot go. Anyways, didn’t you give up combat?”

“I thought that healing was how I could save people,” you said. “But it turns out that I can’t save anyone, regardless of what I choose. So I will do what I set out to in the start. I will fight.”

“I’ll go with her,” Maki said, nodding at you firmly. You had thought for a second that she might try to convince you to stay back, but you really shouldn’t have. She wasn’t like Yuta and Gojo, who always tried to protect you. She was the one who had first taught you to fight, after all, the one who taught you what the definition of strength itself was. She would never try to stop you, not for as long as you allowed her to stay by your side — and you would never, ever deny her that, because you could not deny yourself her presence, because there was a time when she had been the only one you could call distinctly and wholly your own.

Shinjuku was nothing more than a mess of rubble and rocks strewn about at this point. Sukuna had shifted into his true form, and if you had had the time, then thinking about what that meant for Megumi would have driven you to tears anew. Yet it was like this: you could no longer think about Megumi. Not now, when he was beyond saving. Not now, when Gojo was dead. Not now, when you and Maki were about to make your own stand against the creature which had stolen so much from everyone you both loved.

“What now?” Maki said. “Do you have a plan?”

“Sort of. You have to stay back,” you said. “I’m pretty sure he still won’t do anything to me, but he doesn’t have the same misgivings about killing you, so only come if it seems like I really am about to die.”

“What if I’m not fast enough?” she said.

“You will be,” you said. “There’s not a soul alive that’s faster than you, but anyways, it won’t come to that, so don’t engage him in battle until I’ve made my move and sufficiently weakened him. Once I’ve done that, you can come help me.”

Sukuna noticed you almost immediately, and then he was batting away Itadori and the others, his entire inhuman body’s hatred concentrated solely on you, as it always was, as it always would be. You thought in the back of your mind that you should’ve felt afraid at that moment, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be anything but resigned. This was an inevitable eventuality. Perhaps you had delayed it by choosing to heal, but in the end, there was no surprise that it was you two. The King of Curses. The girl named after the woman who sealed him. In truth, the ending of this story had been written a long time ago.

“Y/N L/N,” he said, his tone the same as always, seething and loveless and loathing. Maybe this was how your name should always be said. Y/N L/N, the horrible girl who fought when she should’ve healed and healed when she should’ve fought, the one who could not help a single person she cared about. Maybe Sukuna had it right after all.

“Sukuna,” you said. “You killed Gojo.”

He laughed. “Yes, I did.”

“And Tullia,” you added.

“Correct,” he said.

“And — and Megumi,” you said, half-hoping he would refute this. But he dashed your hopes as soon as they blossomed, humming in agreement.

“Indeed, that is the case,” he said. “All of those people are gone. You loved each and every one of them, and now they are all dead at my hand. I killed them, and it brought me the greatest pleasure and most immense joy to do so.”

“Why?” you said. “Why am I still alive when they’re not? Why do you torture me like this? What have I ever done to you?”

“Nothing,” he said. “You have never done anything. But I need you for my own purposes, and I despise you for that reason. I despise you because you, insignificant and irritating as you are, are so important to me.”

“How?” you said. “I don’t understand it. What can I even do for you? I’m not Megumi. I don’t have a technique that will allow you to defeat some great foe, and you don’t need a body from me anymore, not now that you have regained your true form. So why do you want me?”

“You don’t have to understand,” he said. “My reasons are mine alone. I don’t owe an explanation to a bitch of a girl who’s closer to being vermin than anything.

He would never tell you, you realized. You would never get to know what he desired from you, because in his eyes, you would never be his equal. Not like Gojo was. You weren’t powerful like the others, either, so you couldn’t demand he speak; thus, you had to make peace with the uncertainty and continue onwards. Because even though there wasn’t much you could do at this point, not anymore, you no longer despaired. You just used the only thing you had left, something which had been there for you from the start and was now there for you in the end.

It was the same as the first time, all of the way back on that balcony during the party which Gojo had rescued you from. Then, just as now, an inappropriate giddiness had filled you as you finally did what your blood had always sang for. For the last time, you made that figurative leap, knowing that you would invariably crash but cherishing the instant of free-fall that came before the impact, the one which you always had longed for so greatly in your youth.

“Dissection,” you said, the word falling from your lips so easily, so familiarly, hanging in the air for a moment as you activated your cursed technique for the first time since Shibuya.

Sukuna cackled at you. “Foolish girl! Do you really think that that’s enough to face me, when even the infamous Limitless technique of the Gojo clan was not? Use your ridiculous, pointless technique all you want, for it’ll do you no good. After all, how does it matter that you can see my weaknesses when I have none?”

He wasn’t incorrect, in one sense. There were no spots illuminated by Dissection on his body. He truly seemed to be invulnerable, but you knew better. You saw what he could not, because Dissection was your technique. You didn’t have to be the strongest to win this fight. You just had to be strong enough to do what you had to.

“You’re wrong,” you said.

“You presume to say that?” he said. “You are the one who’s wrong, Y/N L/N. There’s not a point on my body that you could strike to kill me.”

“You’re right,” you said, raising one of Gojo’s needles, admiring the peculiar crimson shade of the metal as the setting sun hit them. Sukuna’s eyes widened as he figured out that you had caught on, that you had finally perceived why he would not, could not kill you, and then he was crying out in alarm, extending his four arms towards you, but it was all in vain. He would not reach you in time. No one ever could. “There’s not. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have any faults. Actually, you do have one, and this time, unlike every other, that’s enough.”

“Stop!” he shouted, activating his technique, though he was much too late to do anything but watch you with the horror of a person who was finally, after a thousand years, staring defeat in the face.

“You have taken everything from me,” you said. “So in exchange, I’ll do the same. I will no longer live for you, Sukuna.”

And with that, you drove the needle into the soft white glow centered over his singular weakness: your own heart.

#yuuta x reader #yuuta x y/n #yuuta x you #reader insert #canon au #pomegranate ink #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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techturd · 9 months

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Do you know what this is? Probably not. But if you follow me and enjoy retro gaming, you REALLY should know about it.

I see all of these new micro consoles, and retro re-imaginings of game consoles and I think to myself "Why?" WHY would you spend a decent chunk of your hard-earned money on some proprietary crap hardware that can only play games for that specific system?? Or even worse, pre-loaded titles and you can't download / add your own to the system!? Yet, people think it's great and that seems to be a very popular way to play their old favorites vs. emulation which requires a "certain degree of tech savvy" (and might be frowned upon from a legal perspective).

So, let me tell you about the Mad Catz M.O.J.O (and I don't think the acronym actually means anything). This came out around the same time as the nVidia Shield and the Ouya - seemingly a "me too" product from a company that is notorious for oddly shaped 3rd party game controllers that you would never personally use, instead reserved exclusively for your visiting friends and / or younger siblings. It's an Android micro console with a quad-core 1.8 GHz nVidia Tegra 4 processor, 2 GB of RAM, 16GB of onboard storage (expandable via SD card), running Android 4.2.2. Nothing amazing here from a hardware perspective - but here's the thing most people overlook - it's running STOCK Android - which means all the bloatware crap that is typically installed on your regular consumer devices, smartphones, etc. isn't consuming critical hardware resources - so you have most of the power available to run what you need. Additionally, you get a GREAT controller (which is surprising given my previous comment about the friend / sibling thing) that is a very familiar format for any retro-age system, but also has the ability to work as a mouse - so basically, the same layout as an Xbox 360 controller + 5 additional programmable buttons which come in very handy if you are emulating. It is super comfortable and well-built - my only negative feedback is that it's a bit on the "clicky" side - not the best for environments where you need to be quiet, otherwise very solid.

Alright now that we've covered the hardware - what can it run? Basically any system from N64 on down will run at full speed (even PSP titles). It can even run an older version of the Dreamcast emulator, Reicast, which actually performs quite well from an FPS standpoint, but the emulation is a bit glitchy. Obviously, Retroarch is the way to go for emulation of most older game systems, but I also run DOSbox and a few standalone emulators which seem to perform better vs. their RetroArch Core equivalents (list below). I won't get into all of the setup / emulation guide nonsense, you can find plenty of walkthroughs on YouTube and elsewhere - but I will tell you from experience - Android is WAY easier to setup for emulation vs. Windows or another OS. And since this is stock Android, there is very little in the way of restrictions to the file system, etc. to manage your setup.

I saved the best for last - and this is truly why you should really check out the M.O.J.O. even if you are remotely curious. Yes, it was discontinued years ago (2019, I think). It has not been getting updates - but even so, it continues to run great, and is extremely reliable and consistent for retro emulation. These sell on eBay, regularly for around $60 BRAND NEW with the controller included. You absolutely can't beat that for a fantastic emulator-ready setup that will play anything from the 90s without skipping a beat. And additional controllers are readily available, new, on eBay as well.

Here's a list of the systems / emulators I run on my setup:

Arcade / MAME4droid (0.139u1) 1.16.5 or FinalBurn Alpha / aFBA 0.2.97.35 (aFBA is better for Neo Geo and CPS2 titles bc it provides GPU-driven hardware acceleration vs. MAME which is CPU only)

NES / FCEUmm (Retroarch)

Game Boy / Emux GB (Retroarch)

SNES / SNES9X (Retroarch)

Game Boy Advance / mGBA (Retroarch)

Genesis / PicoDrive (Retroarch)

Sega CD / PicoDrive (Retroarch)

32X / PicoDrive (Retroarch)

TurboGrafx 16 / Mednafen-Beetle PCE (Retroarch)

Playstation / ePSXe 2.0.16

N64 / Mupen64 Plus AE 2.4.4

Dreamcast / Reicast r7 (newer versions won't run)

PSP / PPSSPP 1.15.4

MS-DOS / DOSBox Turbo + DOSBox Manager

I found an extremely user friendly Front End called Gamesome (image attached). Unfortunately it is no longer listed on Google Play, but you can find the APK posted on the internet to download and install. If you don't want to mess with that, another great, similar Front End that is available via Google Play is called DIG.

If you are someone who enjoys emulation and retro-gaming like me, the M.O.J.O. is a great system and investment that won't disappoint. If you decide to go this route and have questions, DM me and I'll try to help you if I can.

Cheers - Techturd

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jackiequick · 1 year

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The Flash OC ⚡️

Leanna O’Conner 🌺

Full Name: Leanna Kira O’Conner

Nicknames: Lea, Lana, Anna, Annie, O’Conner, Doc, Darling, Flower

Age depending on the season: 32–38 (but she always looks young for her age)

Height: 5'3

Job: Assistant, Scientist, Detective and overall help of Team Flash

Shows she appears in: The Flash, Arrow, Supergirl, DC Legends Of Tomorrow and etc

Relationships: Ex-boyfriend Eowells and Harrison Wells Earth 2. Currently single.

Friendships: Iris West, Caitlin Snow, Cisco Ramon, Kara Danvers, Barry Allen, Felicity Smoak, Ray Palmer and the list goes on

Power Set: She doesn't have powers but ends up effected by the explosion and timeline change years later. Ends up with really good sense of hearing, enhanced listening which comes in handy.

~~~~~

Leanna was hired by Dr. Harrison Wells to be his little helper knowing she also has a background in science and tech, with a strong heart. That moment he knew she was someone who keep an eye on.

She quickly became friends with Caitlin, Ronnie, Cisco and Hartley having other scientists and engineers of S.T.A.R. Labs join in on the fun of their friendship. Over her months, more like a year, of working with them whole team she developed a huge love and respect for them. Lea grew close to Dr. Wells having a small crush on the older man, little did she know he felt the same way. Soon enough the night of Explosion came and everything changed.

Later on Leanna was sent to recruit Barry Allen since doctor Wells wanted to keep the coma patient at Star Labs instead, she agreed knowing that they can probably help him out when the time came. 9 months later Barry woke up and training with his speed began! One night, Harrison spoke into the microphone saying, “Run Barry Run!” for the first time as his hand causally slipped onto Lea’s in a comforting grip and she smiled back, leaning into his touch.

Later on the two started rather quickly dating over that. Dinner dates, kisses shared, hand holding, smiles, late night talks and etc. Love was in the air, friendships grew, Team Arrow came to visit Central City aka Oliver, Felicity and Ray, Team Flash was at its highest point but The Reverse Flash was out there…

Later Leanna gets a feeling that Harrison is hiding something from her and she confront him about him, Harrison tells her it’s nothing. Until a few days later while she’s walking down the hallways one morning at the Lab she leans against the wall noticing how difficulty tougher the wall felt and stumbles into room in between the wall where Thawne kept his suit and Gideon. EoWells became the new name.

Leanna is in shock finding the information as Gideon greets her saying “Hello Ms O’Conner. But you are only that last name during this lifetime. How may I be of assistance ma’am?” Leanna ask her the questions she has. But before she can ask about article and Eowells real family history, her boyfriend sneaks in behind. Eowells was standing, as he sat in Lea his famous chair and questioning her action by entering the Time Vault.

Eowells grumbles and pinching his nose, “Lea my dear, I love you. I really do but I can’t believe you’ll ask Gideon AND NOT ME!”

Leanna glares, “Oh please, Harrison or should I call you Eobard? I asked you earlier and you refused to answer me! If you really wanted my help or something, you could’ve been honest…do you care about me or am I just a game in your plan to build Team Flash..?”

“I-I do care! I can’t have them knowing yet, I promise you I will tell them about who I am and we can be together forever.”

“A week.”

“I’ll execute the best to way to tell them.”

“Or I tell the team.”

“You wouldn’t dare, I can tell your bluffing my dear.”

That night lead to screams, heartache and anger for the pair. Eobard told her bits and pieces of his story, but not everything keeping it a lie and Leanna fell for it. He hated seeing her that way, noticing the light and laughter flickering out of his girlfriend that night, pulling Lea into his arms, he kissed her and begged for forgiveness. She didn’t even know what to think, but let it slide hoping he kept his promise.

As weeks went on, Eobard didn’t say a word to Team Flash BUT Leanna did! She revealed his identity to Barry, Cisco, Caitlin, Joe and even Iris as they all worked against him. Eddie died sadly. Of course they defeated Reverse Flash, Barry went back in time to see his mother and they created a wormhole in Central City. Ronnie and Barry stopped it as Leanna held Caitlin in her arms knowing how heartbreaking it must’ve been for her friend.

~~~~

(Season 2–3)

Months later, everyone was working once again at Star Labs after a break from the chaotic year. Leanna worked with Joe and Caitlin most of those months as a biologist and detective. She became friends with Penny and her sister Patty, eventually finding a video tape for Barry and handing it to him. On there the video tape Eobard Thawne aka FAKE Harrison Wells confession to the murder of Nora Allen and his faults towards his relationship with Leanna O’Conner, saying that her and Barry have inherited a chunk, if not most of S.T.A.R Labs.

Everything was turning up nicely until two visitors from EARTH-2. Jay aka ZOOM and Harrison ‘Harry’ Wells. The moment Lea lay her eyes on Harry in Star Labs, she felt like she saw a ghost, like she was gonna throw up. The girl didn’t know what to think the long hours she spend standing near Wells and trying to get to know him. Cisco hated him, saying he was a grump and a total dick while Lea kept watch while working on a few test items noticing a look in Harrison Wells eyes. Anger, confusion, sadness and annoyance. The same way she felt.

She told Cisco, “Sooner or later, every man shows himself.” And Harry did. He was a little nicer in a way with Team Flash, being mostly closer to Cisco and Leanna. The three could be bickering over everything! However Harry seemed to care about her, finding her presents kind and lighten up his mood every once in a while. He barley heard her laugh or smile too often but when he did, he smiled.

One night, Leanna was closing the windows in Star Labs and checking up on the rooms before leaving it all to Harry. She stumbled into one of the labs searching for jacket that held a small brown notebook she lost earlier during the week. “Ah ha! I knew I left it in here…” She said with a small nod, noticing a small black notebook that was open with nice handwriting inside. She smiled.

Harry walked into the lab with a half nod and taking a seat near the sets of tables, grabbing his black markers and a white notepad scribbling down an idea. He felt her eyes on him and chuckled slightly, “Yes, O’Conner?”

“Is this yours?” She asked with a small half smile, taking a seat in one the stools pointing to the notebook.

He turned around questioning her query and eyes widen at the small black notebook, snatching it of the table and closing it. He glanced between the notebook and her before he asked, “What did you..see? In this case of the notebook, O’Conner.”

“Just your handwriting, and a narrative in the way you wrote a note, like a storyteller. And a name.” She replied honestly, pushing her hair out of her face. Harry questioned her knowledge cue her to speak more and she continued, “The name, Jesse, popped up on that small note.”

“…my daughter, Jesse. I told you and your team that Zoom took her, while some of his Metas came here to Earth 1. I miss her…”

“I can tell you do. I have a few nieces and nephews, I know how it feels to miss children you love…”

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Because, Harry, you aren’t like the others. I can see the pain and anger in yours eyes after losing your light and laughter, being your daughter…I know that because I felt it. When your told the truth and something you love is taken from you..it hurts.”

“You were hurt before, weren’t you Lana?”

“Yeah. I was hurt before by Thawne, friends while I was child..even told that a woman couldn’t do much better than a man in my line of work.”

“They’re idiots.”

“What?”

“I’ve haven’t known you long but I can tell enough. Your very smart, kind, understanding and a badass with a gun. Hell, you shot down three Metas this month and cuffed them in front of the group like it was nothing. You show a lot of love and compassion towards everyone.”

“I was taught well. But don’t sell yourself short, Harry. Your a genius and gentle, a bit grumpy but it adds to your charm. You’re very understanding about a lot of things and see a lot compassion in people, notice things that they don’t.”

It was like sparks flew between that in that moment, of course they pair was attractive to each other after some time working together but this month felt stronger than ever. Harry saw a light flickering return in her eyes while Lea saw a balance of hope returning in his. Lea’s heart fluttered softly for him and Harry’s heart beats strongly for her. Two kept their emotions in control, not knowing what to say or do about this feeling..

Until Christmas time came near and Cisco hung mistletoe in Star Labs cortex, in hopes to have Caitlin and Jay along with the other couples to celebrate and kiss. But Cisco Ramon didn’t expect to walk into the Cortex, to find Harry Wells hands cupped onto Lea O’Conner’s face with such joy as her arms wrapped around his waist lean in for another sweet kiss. The two were in their own little world all smiles and no sorrow..

Cisco cleared his throat with his hands on his hips and yelled, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t The Grump and The Lady!”

The two snapped their heads towards Cisco in utter shock and slightly annoyance wanting to kick him out of the room. “Ramon!” Harry yelled with his hands still gently cupping his lady’s face, “Don’t you knock?!”

“Seriously, Cisco?!” Lea yelled at the same time as Harry did grumbling under her breath.

Cisco just laughed while also in shock wanting to know everything about this situation. He swore to not tell a soul but it didn’t last long as he told Barry, Iris and Caitlin, even Joe and Jay found out. They didn’t know how their relationship started exactly but it did and it felt just right. To add onto the dynamic, it was honestly a adorable height difference, if you ask Caitlin.

The two were inseparable, with Harry always standing behind her as his hands, placed comfortably on Lea’s shoulders as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She would smile taking one of his hands, placing a gentle kiss onto her knuckles that always tinkered with items in the lab. They weren’t big on PDA however the couple always seen giving small kisses on each other’s cheeks and forehead.

Of course, they bickered and fought like an old married couple at least twice a week, even over the smallest things.

~~~~~

Plenty of things happened, Harry got shot by Patty, a few metas, Jay revealed to actually be Zoom, and of course the famous trip to Earth 2 to save Jesse…Let’s just say Lea met Jesse under the worst circumstances as Zoom kidnapped her as well for high leverage over Team Flash.

Jesse screamed, ranted and cried the whole time, in the beginning Lea felt sorry for her and comforted the girl. Until her temper started to rise and snapped at the poor girl, telling Jesse that everything will be fine and that she’s braver than this! Eventually Jesse stopped and started talk to her to figure out how to escape. Thankfully Barry, Cisco, Harry, Killer Frost and others saved them! They all returned to Earth 1 with a survivor of Zoom to reveal himself as the REAL Jay Garrick.

Everyone bonded, a few metas came in here and there. Harry, Lea, and Caitlin had to saved Jesse from going into shock. Lea and Jesse formed a bond afterwards. Plenty of other things happened as Barry’s dad died while trying to help them.

Eventually they defeated Zoom and everything was fine, until Barry created Flashpoint and you know what happened there! Team Flash was dealing with bigger issues due that change in the timeline order cause of the different Meta Humans, Caitlin becoming Killer Frost, Harry and HR, relationships blooming, the yearly crossover events and etc.

Forget to mention, Harry was a little jealous when HR would be flirty or anything similar to that with Lea. HR adored all the couples, especially Barry and Iris! But deep down he knew she was Harry’s lady.

~~~~~

As crazy it was, it was home. One afternoon, Harry walked into the lab to find Lea tinkering a equation for a biological connect between a few Meta humans and a new answer to Jesse’s speeding powers, getting a huge headache. He smiled, resting his hand on her waist kissing her shoulder tenderly. It was a rare occasion where he was the one easing her thoughts. Usually it was the other way around, with her being the one to do so, but it felt good.

Lea leaned into Harry’s touch and eased looking up at him with a small smile. They only been together for two years but it felt like they were the married couple of Team Flash with how comfortable they are around each other. She laced her lips giving him a cheeky kiss as he went in for another kiss.

“You forgot to add the 3 and subtract the 15, that’s why your having trouble.” Harry commented, taking the pen to fix the equation and being a genius, he solved it immediately.

“Of course I did. I’m better with a gun and genetic codes then rude math stuff..” Lea replied with a small huff, pointing to the paperwork.

“That’s why I’m the billionaire genius.”

“And I’m the junior biologist.”

“A gorgeous biologist, may I add.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“I would!”

Before she can replied or add anything else, Harry lifted the girl into her arms wrapping the love of his life into her arms grinning. Lea wrapped around his neck when suddenly she hissed her face laying on Harry’s chest, feeling a headache and a sharp ringing in her ears. His gripping stayed strongly against hers, rubbing her back until it passed and when it did, Harry asked, “Uh honey what was that? Are you okay?”

Lea whimpered for a moment and nodded, “I’m fine. I heard a ringing like a bell..or the elevator.”

“From here? Darling, your sure it’s not a headache…you’ve been having a lot of those recently.”

“No..it’s not.”

As if on cue, Cisco came in with a confused face holding a corn dog and texting Barry on his phone. He looked up and noticed the couple sensing something was wrong, Harry was skeptical, it happened out of the blue as he watch Lea’s reactions and his face lighted up.

Cisco tossed Harry his machine and they the used old Meta Human detector waving it in front of her until it’s started slowly beating a gentle as Harry and Cisco face lit up. After a few hours it was confirmed, Leanna caught onto elements of being Meta Human!

—-

Hours and days passed as Leanna O’Conner became aware of her powers that bounced within her. She had to ability to have enhanced hearing. Cisco and Harry were VERY proud they found out of her abilities firsthand while Caitlin kept her abilities a secret. That was until Cisco and Lea found out with Barry about her power set. They love Caitlin and embraced her new abilities, even if Killer Frost revealed to be a bit of a insecurity for her. But Lea was always by her side for all of it!

To say Lea struggled with her powers was a understatement, there were moments where she heard everything from a 4 mile radius and moments where she couldn’t hear anything at all. The first days she couldn’t sleep or think straight, having to wear noise canceling headphones that Cisco and Harry built for her or Iris hug her from behind to hush her worries.

Weeks past and everything changed for Team Flash, they’re team grew up but also downgraded. Since Killer Frost kept showing up making issues harder, Savitar kept wanting to kill Iris, Wally West got powers and started dating Jesse, and etc.

OH! The Invasion, The Musical Crossover Event and happened as well. In result, was a world wrestling issue for the teams as Supergirl, Arrow, Legends and others join in. Barry and Iris even got engaged twice, which everyone celebrated.

More Metas came to town, causing Lea to take action and step up even more with Team Flash, since she was always behind the scenes of all the action. Time travel happened and then it was the night of Iris’s death…

It was a crazy nightmare for Barry and the rest of Team Flash, fighting against time to save Iris from Savitar and Killer Frost. Stressful, heartbreaking and frustrating to say the least. In the end they won, H.R. swapped positions with Iris, as she went to kill Savitor with a gun she took from Lea.

There was a small funeral held for H.R. Wells during a somewhat cold rainy day, everyone dressed in black underneath umbrellas burying their short lived friend. Caitlin returned as Killer Frost for the funeral telling Lea and Cisco she needs some time to figure herself out but will return later on. A few days later, Lea and Cisco were packing up for a small trip to Earth 2 with Harry when a portal opened a few blocks away result all of Team Flash to take action.

The portal was The Speed Force wanting Barry to spend some time with them for a while, for his issues of messing with the timeline. It was heartbreaking to see Barry Allen go, Lea held Iris in her arms comforting the girl as she had to watch her fiancé leave for a while. Julian, Cisco, Harry and Joe stayed behind watching the mere sad action take place as a group…

Thanks to reading and I hope you liked it. If you have any questions onto Season 4-5 put them in the comment section below 👇🏼

Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @morgan108 @msrochelleromanofffelton @t-nd-rfoot @yetanotherwells @blueboirick @sherloquestea @sherlkore @gcthvile @ohgodnotagainn @topgun-imagines @gcthvile @superspookyjanelle @blackheart-beauty @hanlueluver and etc

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rengokus-blazing-blog · 9 months

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Before He Left

A Rengoku X Female Reader Fanfic

Summary:

After going on a mission together, Rengoku accidentally leaves a mark on your neck. The mark is a curse and you have one year to break it or you will die. After some time, Rengoku and you start to develop feelings for each other and this only makes things more difficult.

Slow burn. Eventual Smut.

Warnings: Mentions of torture, sex work, self harm, demons eating humans, etc.

Chapter 1 word count: 18K

Read More on >>> AO3 <<<

.....

ARC 1: THE DEMON OF THE 100 FACES

Nighttime is frightening. When the sun sets and the light is no longer visible. The time when demons go where they please and cause havoc.

It's such a daunting moment but there is still beauty hiding, waiting to be appreciated by those blessed with kind hearts.

Still, it's strange for you to be traveling at this time of night. With a young man around your age. He is probably 18 or 19. Blond, spiky hair with red tips. Big eyes, ones that never look tired. You couldn't tell what he is thinking. He isn't smiling which is strange for you. You've heard that he is known for his cheerful personality. Although he is not like this right now, you don't feel intimidated or scared. More than that he seems concentrated on whatever he is thinking.

Kyojuro Rengoku. At his short age, he is on his way to becoming a Hashira. Everyone says that this is his last mission before he is officially promoted.

"Is there a specific reason why you chose me as your companion for this mission?" You broke the silence. "I am not a very talented Demon Slayer."

The train is quite lively even when the moon is already up. Children laughing, friends chattering about their lovers, and some are eating food. You are tired but not the kind of tired that makes you sleepy. More tired of sitting for hours and doing nothing.

"Tomioka told me that you were from the Red Light District. And I've never been there, so your knowledge in the area will surely come in handy!" Rengoku has a strong voice, filled with enthusiasm. "Don't worry, if anything happens I'll be there to protect you."

"I said I lack talented but not useless, I can take care of myself," you say as you look out the window. " ... Did he tell you anything else?"

You and Tomioka knew each other since a few years back while on a mission. How the two of you met, is an interesting story but that should be told at another time. Nonetheless, you hope he didn't share any unnecessary information.

"Of course not! You know he is a very quiet person!" Rengoku says as he doesn't stop looking at you. Now it's kinda uncomfortable. "But hey! I would never judge anyone based on where they are from."

"It's easy for you to say when you come from a respectable family."

"Well, what you say might have some truth but believe me! Even if you were born from a prostitute, I wouldn't-"

"When we get there," you interrupt him. As you make eye contact with him. This time he smiles. You feel a little bit guilty for treating him with coldness but you didn't want anyone meddling with your past. "Just don't go around asking about me. Or I'll leave you to handle things by yourself."

"Sounds good to me!"

Entertainment District or 'Red Light District' as most people know it, is a place where people came to fulfill their pleasures. In the daytime, it was a calm city, where restaurants and shops are open. At night, other types of activities were allowed.

"According to the reports, this demon attacks mostly women. Eating just a few parts of their bodies. The eyes, lips, nose, ears ... Only one thing is eaten. It's strange since demons tend to eat more to get stronger-"

"I am hungry!"

It's like he wasn't listening to you. Either that or he had already read the report and doesn't need a reminder.

Rengoku looks from side to side and goes inside the first shop he sees. It was a tea house. You just let him have it as soon as he enters, you hear the screaming of embarrassed girls. Rengoku quickly gets out and bows apologetically.

"My apologies, I thought they would be open by now," Rengoku scratches his head. He looks like a puppy and sometimes it made you wonder how he came this far with that soft personality.

"If you want to spend time with an Oiran, you are going to have to wait until night. Most of them work after the moon is up" You pat Rengoku on the shoulder as means for him to follow you. "Let's get a place to rest first and then eat ... most of our work will be done during the night."

"Alright, I like your plan! Let's get some tasty food!"

You take him to a familiar place. After years, there hasn't been much change except for a few new businesses. It's a nice place but not too expensive either. But you wonder if a place like this was worth it for someone like Rengoku who is probably used to fancier places.

"We can only give you two nights maximum here. We usually only rent rooms for one night. If you need a longer stay, I recommend going to a tea house for accommodations."

The receptionist is right. Hotels, especially in the Red Light District, are used for a night or only a few hours. But getting a room in a tea house would be too expensive. Not only is paying for a room but for three meals a day, the service, and cleaning fees.

"Oh please, don't be like that! We will pay you double!" Rengoku smiles brightly and the heart of the receptionist is moved.

"We?" You look at Rengoku with a surprised look on your face.

"And we will rent two rooms for three weeks!"

"Mr. Rengoku that's a lot of money and I can't afford that-"

"Who said I was letting you pay?"

His tone of voice is more serious and you feel his eyes heavy on you. His smile disappears and that seems more of a statement than a question. You stay quiet and let him handle the rest.

"As much as I would like to accept we only have one room available," the receptionist has a shaky voice. Her heart races as Rengoku keeps smiling at her.

"Well, that is a problem. I don't think it will proper for an unmarried lady to share a room with a man-"

"We'll take it," you interrupt Rengoku, his mouth wide open as he looks at you. "And he'll pay."

On the outside, Rengoku pretends to be calm. But the truth is that he is never been alone in a room with a woman. He is sitting on the tatami floor, his sword laying on the right side, looking at you.

You untied your long hair and let it flow down to your waist. Feeling relaxed now that it moves freely. Having long hair can be a hassle sometimes, especially when fighting demons. But it's nothing that a hair tie can't fix.

"Are you sure about this? I don't mind sleeping in the hallway," Rengoku tries to hide his embarrassment by being confident and he is doing a good job at it. "It's not proper for a young lady to share a room with an unmarried man-"

"I wasn't aware that you were one to be worried about etiquette. But I guess someone with your prestige would be worried about being seen with someone of the lower class," you start taking off your black vest, leaving just the white long-sleeve and black pants. "Let's rest and investigate as soon as the sun starts to set. I'll take you to the places where the murders have been happening and some popular tea houses. They should know more about the victims."

"It's nothing like that! I thought you would feel more comfortable not having to share a room with a man. But if you don't care, then I'll be delighted to sleep by your side."

Although you don't know much about Rengoku, you know that he is a trustworthy man. He has a good reputation and he has shown that he is a gentleman.

You go under the bedsheets and cover your body. Planning to sleep a little and maybe take a bath later, you close your eyes. You expect Rengoku to get in bed at any second as well but there is silence. Not a single sound. You open your eyes out of curiosity and see Rengoku in the corner of the room, sitting with his katana on his left side. His eyes are closed but you doubt he is sleeping.

You let him have his way.

"Mr. Yamada was a regular client of our Yuki, he came often to request her services. All of us thought that Mr. Yamada was in love with her."

Its night time and you took Rengoku to Kimura's Tea House. One of their geisha was murdered recently so you thought that investigating here first would be the best option.

"To think he would go crazy and kill her. We would have never thought ..."

You were allowed to have a few conversations with people in the tea house. Yuki's friends, colleagues, apprentices, and servers. You didn't discover anything new from what the reports already said.

"Mr. Yamada would often gift her rings, this might be a bit strange but he had a fascination with her hands."

That's interesting. The reports say that the demon only ate Yuki's hands.

"Oi! You can't go in there without paying!" Mrs. Kimura, an older lady comes out of a room, pushing Rengoku out of it. He laughs and has a silly smile. Now it bothers you. You appreciate that he is optimistic but so much optimism is overwhelming.

"But the ladies were the ones who invited me inside!"

Rengoku is not lying. After getting out of the room, five young women came out of it. Giggling and talking to themselves, blushing as they look at the flame demon slayer.

"Get out! Now!"

And just like that you were kicked out of the tea house. The streets are full with people walking, too many loud sounds and Rengoku is just laughing things off. One of the things you hate the most is wasting time ... and people who don't take things seriously.

"Could you at least act like you care?" you raise your voice at him. "You are just wasting time."

"Don't worry too much! I promise you that as soon as I see that demon I'll slay its neck!" Rengoku never loses that smile. Whether that's something to admire or detest, is debatable. But now you are opting for the second option.

"Then I don't even know why you brought me with you if you can just easily slay a demon," you began to walk around. Going to the next destination to continue with the investigation.

"My apologies, it's not my intention to waste your time," Rengoku follows closely, you can hear his steps behind you. "Nor do I want to carry you around either."

"Carry me around? Without me, you would end up in some low-class brothel, laying around with some girls instead of doing your job," you are offended by his words. "Seriously, how did you get so far with such an unpreoccupied personality-"

"AAHH!"

It's a slight scream coming from afar but you two were able to hear it. You didn't hesitate and ran towards where you heard the scream. It's a painful one, filled with fear and resentment.

You recognized the area immediately. It's the low-class section of the Red Light District. The place where men with little money came to satisfy their needs. A cruel and sad place, where the less fortunate live.

But as uncomfortable as this place made you feel, there is no time for that. Rengoku and you got there in time as a young lady is fighting for her life.

There is a black figure standing in front of her. Completely dark, like a shadow. There is no doubt that is a demon. You stand in front of the young girl, her protection comes first. You also wanted to study the demon. It had no weapons, the completely dark figure left nothing to figure out. It's not wearing any clothes. It doesn't have any hair. It's completely dark, with a strange human body.

"Nose, nose, nose, nose."

The demon speaks in a soft, raspy voice. Repeating the same word.

"Nose, nose, nose, nose."

Then something clicks. A stupid theory but it may be worth investigating.

But Rengoku had different plans as he rushes towards the demon.

"Wait! Mr. Rengoku!"

And he slashes the neck of the demon.

"No! Takahashi!"

The young girl screams as she stretches her hand but you stop her from getting closer to the body. It didn't disappear, instead, the darkness of the body is gone. It went away, like a snake crawling on the ground, fast like the wind. Leaving nothing but the body of a young man whose head is decapitated.

It is no demon.

But a man possessed by one. Blood Art Magic perhaps.

"You killed him! You killed Takahashi!" the young woman points at Rengoku whose face no longer showed any optimism but horror.

He had never killed a person before. He failed. He failed to protect what he swore to protect. For a moment he feels like passing out and all he could hear were the screams of the young girl.

"Murderer! You killed him!" she screams again. "You killed him!"

Rengoku opens his eyes. Confused as to why he is in the hotel room. It feels like a fever dream. He wishes that maybe what happened was a bad dream but the blood on his uniform tells him otherwise.

He looks to the side and finds a tray of delicious food. At first, he wouldn't have hesitated to eat it in an instant. But he doesn't feel hungry.

"I am glad you are awake."

Rengoku hears your voice and sees you in the corner of the room. There is so much he wants to say but no words would come out of his mouth.

"I'll prefer for you to stay here. I'll take care of the rest," you look at him, waiting for some time of response but nothing. Instead, Rengoku looks outside the window. He notices it that its morning already. He had slept the entire night. Probably fainted and you had to carry him.

"About what happened-"

"You were right," Rengoku finally speaks. "I was careless and because of that I killed someone innocent."

You didn't know how to respond. Nor what to do to make him feel better.

There is a certain sadness in his face. Nothing is left of that happy genuine smile of his and for a moment you wish you could go back in time and see that smile again.

"There will always be casualties and you did not do it on purpose. You can stay here and lament your mistakes but the longer you do that, the more people will die," you didn't know if you were being harsh or not. But anything is better than lying. "I'll get going and keep investigating. I suggest you rest and whenever you are ready, go back to investigating as well. I'll go back to the low-class section ... Don't even think of going there."

You were about to leave but Rengoku speaks again.

"Have you ever ... killed a person?"

You don't look at him. Your back is facing him and he could only read the 'Destroy' symbol of your uniform.

"Yes," you respond.

"Was it an accident?" he asks again.

"No."

And you leave the room.

It looks the same to you. The poor begging for money, the young girls in the streets covered in mere drags, trying to lure men into their homes in exchange for a few coins. Brothels were formed mostly of small girls who were sold by their parents. Maybe Giyu is right. You can't escape your past forever.

You try to look for the girl from last night. After what happened she kept screaming and told you both to leave. Rengoku had fainted and as much as you didn't want to leave him alone, you had to.

Walking uphill, you go to the place where the less fortunate can bury their loved ones. Not like you were ever blessed to love someone, rather you accompanied many to this place.

It's not beautiful but it's vast dry land. You see her there, putting soil on a hole where you assumed her lover's body rested.

You walk slowly towards her, not exactly knowing how to approach the situation. Her back is facing you and you were aware that your footsteps were loud enough for her to hear.

"I think I said I didn't want to see you. Especially the other demon slayer," the lady's voice is monotone, lacking any kind of feelings. "Leave."

"I apologize for my partner's rushed decision. He is ashamed of himself and deeply reprimands his actions," You did not know how to express better. You lacked tact, your words feel empty. Even though it is the complete opposite. "Please accept our apologies."

You bow your head so low that your forehead touches the floor. You wait for a few seconds to wait for her to tell you to stop. You weren't planning to stop bowing otherwise.

"He was a good man. He probably wanted to die before ever harming me," her words surprised you as you feel a pat on your head. You sit straight, next to the young lady. "You did him a favor. People who have been possessed by that demon tend to not be the same. Just like that man who killed that geisha."

Reports state that Mr. Yamada has been in a state of delirium after eating the hands of the geisha Yuki. In the state of a dream, unbreakable. Useless.

"When did you two meet?" You asked, thinking the hard questions should be left for later.

"Two years ago. He worked on a farm as a slave. His master was kind to him and would buy her girls to pleasure him. I was one of them," she says as you helped her put more soil into the grave. Your hands are getting dirty but you didn't care. "But we fell in love and since then I have been the only woman in his life."

"Did he care that you were a prostitute of the lower class?"

"No ... He was saving enough money to buy me from the brothel. He was going to free me," her voice starts to tremble. Finally, there is some emotion. "Now ... the light of my eyes is gone."

You close your eyes and remember those times. The desperation, the hate, the pain. It's overwhelming. The anxiety of knowing that there are things in your past you haven't forgotten. These things come back around and now you have to face them.

"What is your name?" you ask as you stand up. She doesn't answer but looks at you. "Which brothel do you belong to?"

"Nanami," she says softly. "I belong to Ueda brothel."

It even seems like it was meant to be.

"Very well then," you clean your uniform with small pats. Getting rid of the dirt on your pants and black vest. "One last question ...."

Nanami's tears disappear as she looks at you. Your change in personality surprised her.

"Yes?"

"...Did Mr. Takahashi ever tell you you had a pretty nose?"

Rengoku keeps drinking. The fact that he hates sake only suits the guilt in his heart. He should be working, trying to investigate or find more things about the demon. But his heart feels heavy and he doesn't know how to ease the pain.

Should he go and beg for forgiveness? Or would that be too insolent of him? And if were to do that ... would that make him feel better? Was he even worthy of feeling like that?

"Takuto just went crazy the other day and ate his girl's legs!"

At the bar, a man is sitting next to Rengoku. Bald, chubby, and somewhat short. Also with a drink in hand, he decides to listen for now, even when it's rude to eavesdrop.

"Poor guy was thrown into jail and waiting for trial but many say that he is been trying to commit suicide," the man says. "He is in the local Red Light District jail ... I should try and visit him before he is transferred to Kyoto."

Rengoku thought that maybe he should also visit this individual.

With a bottle of sake in his hand, he wanders around. It's hard to get by and Rengoku wished you were with him. He had thought of looking for you but if he gets lost that would only add to your burden. The last thing he wants is to give you trouble.

After entering a few wrong places and asking around, finally he reaches his places of destination. It's isolated, a bit far away from the rest of the entertainment district.

The guards let him in, knowing that if anyone is capable to handle their dangerous prisoners, is him. A soon to become Hashira.

Rengoku sits on the floor, there is a jail cell in front of him. A man, with short brown hair, not taller than him. He sits in front of him. There is no essence of life in his eyes.

The demon slayer pulls out the bottle of sake he had before and two small cups. He servers a little to the guy and puts the cup in front of him. He doesn't take it but just stares at it. At nothing.

"I wish to not waste your time-"

"Legs, legs, legs, legs."

The man whispers to himself. Repeating the same words at the same rhythm.

"I would like to know more about what happened-"

"Legs, legs, legs, legs."

Rengoku keeps getting interrupted but that doesn't discourage him.

"Legs, legs, legs, legs,"

"How did you know Ms. Sanae?"

He stops talking as if hearing the name of the lady he killed brought him back to reality. Rengoku waits a few seconds and sees that the young man now is looking at him. In this dark room, the only thing Rengoku could see are the flames from the torches in the walls.

"Sanae was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was a geisha and I was a simple businessman," Takuto says in a very gentle voice. "We loved each other but and we wanted to get married ... but a geisha belongs to their tea house."

He doesn't touch his drink but stares at Rengoku with his lifeless eyes.

"We planned to the runway and we decided on a date ... and when the day came," there is a small pause. "I don't remember much. Just that I was covered in blood and Sanae did not have legs."

"Reports say that you only ate her legs ... Do you have any idea why?"

It's a long silence. There are no sounds but the wind going through the cold walls.

"Have you ever killed someone?" Takuto asks. Out of nowhere, this took Rengoku by surprise. He feels a shiver run down his spine and he doesn't know if he should answer with honesty. "Have you felt the warm blood of a person run down your hands? How warm it is?"

Rengoku stays silent. He has no words nor proper answers to his questions.

"Sanae was so beautiful, such beautiful face and skin, such beautiful legs," Takuto seems to be going back to his previous delirious state. "Legs ... Legs, legs, legs ... legs, legs ..."

Rengoku looks at Takuto's eyes, he has seen those eyes before. On his father, the moment his mother passed away. When the light of his eyes left him forever.

"Please ... kill me," Takuto had tears in his eyes and his body trembles as if he is resisting a higher being. "Kill me."

Rengoku bows and looks up at the young man.

"I promise to avenge the death of your lover," Rengoku says. "I'll slay that demon, no matter what it takes."

He keeps drinking at the bar. He just needs to finish this bottle and he will go back to the hotel. If he remembers where it is.

He is overwhelmed with so many feelings. Of the fact that he killed someone. A mistake. Because of his choice.

He wanted to finish this mission as quickly as possible so he could become a Hashira and tell his father. That way he could be proud of him.

But his rash decision was a mistake and he couldn't brush that off easily.

"Of all places ... Of all places, you decide to come to a cheap bar to drown your sorrows. Couldn't you have gone to a fancy tea house?"

He feels someone touch his arm. A young lady with long hair, messy. A few hair strings laying in front of her face.

"And you are?"

Rengoku did not recognize you. Either because he is drunk or because he is not used to seeing you like this. You were still wearing your uniform but your hair was a mess from earlier. Not wanting to give explanations, you just sigh and hold onto his arm.

"You need to rest. Let's go back to the hotel-"

"Oi, young lady! How much?" A man says. "Come with me, I'll show you a good time."

You feel an arm wrap around your shoulders. You look up to the man who is equally as drunk as Rengoku. You could easily get rid of him but you didn't want any unnecessary quarrels.

"No. Go away," you push him off and grab Rengoku's hands. "Come on let's go-"

"I'll pay you well! Let's go," the man insisted and before you could push him away, someone rushed in.

Rengoku punches the man, throwing him to the other side of the room. Leaving everyone in shock and staring at you two.

"She said no," Rengoku says.

This is the first time you see a different aura in Rengoku. His eyes are darker, there is a vein showing on his forehead that is usually not there. He stands in front of you, protectively. You can't help but feel a little bit of heat going down your cheeks.

You quickly snapped and once again grabbed Rengoku by his hand. You run away with him. By experience, you know that it's better to not stay at bars once someone has become violent. Fights usually happen after that.

Running through the streets of the Red Light District gave you deja vu. Of younger years, of the sounds of wooden sandals against the ground. Of people staring.

You get to the hotel and rush through the lobby and reception. Getting to your room, you almost pushed Rengoku inside and you close the door.

Your breathing is agitated and you look at Rengoku who is sitting straight and calmly in the bed.

"Young lady, I have to cordially decline this invitation. I am honored but I don't think I am fit to please a lady," Rengoku bows again in an apologetic manner. "However, if you feel unsafe to go outside, please feel welcome to sleep here. I'll take care of you."

"Mr. Rengoku, I think you have drank way too much-"

"No, I'll protect you," Rengoku moves his head from side to side and then quickly fell to the bed. He murmurs to himself as he rolls in the bedsheets. "I promise."

You signed at the sight. Even when he is like this, he is kinda adorable.

It's a long night and you want to sleep. You lay on top of the bedsheets, next to Rengoku. His eyes are closed and you take a few seconds to appreciate his face. He has very unique features. Nice lips, a long straight nose. Predominantly eyebrows, and hair that resembles the scales of dragons.

"Listen Rengoku ... By the time you wake up, I won't be here. You are going to have to continue this mission by yourself. Alright?" You were aware that maybe he won't remember this. And you were talking more to yourself than to him. You made a mental note to tell the receptionist to Rengoku about your absence. "I have to fix some things first."

"Will you come back when you are done?"

"Uh?"

"I can wait for you," Rengoku says, his eyes still closed. "I'll wait for you."

His kind words feel genuine. His soft voice makes it hard for you to not feel something in your heart.

You decide to keep talking to him. You want to indulge him as well as to enjoy his company for a little longer.

"You will be waiting a long time. Time is important, don't waste it on someone like me," you respond.

"You are important too."

"Me, important? You don't know what you are saying," you remember how uncomfortable it was a few days ago on the train. Now, is still uncomfortable but not so much. It's like you were talking to a normal person and not Rengoku Kyojuro, the demon slayer soon to be a Hashira. "I am just someone you met a few days ago."

"It took my father a few hours to realize my mother was important to him," Rengoku murmurs and breathes deeply. "They married each other a month later ... I knew you were important the moment you held my hand at the bar."

Rengoku can say the sweetest of things even when he doesn't mean to. You didn't want to believe too much in words because you know that is probably the alcohol speaking.

"You just don't realize who I am because my hair is a long mess and you are drunk," you say, feeling strange since this is the longest conversation you've had with Rengoku. "I should really cut this off."

"No ... Don't cut it."

Rengoku's voice is more demanding. He is not asking you or suggesting. He is ordering you not to.

You got curious. You could ask 100 questions and you feel like he will answer all of them without hesitation. You were not one to intrude but so little is known of the soon-to-become- Hashira and his past that you can't help but wonder the kind of man he is.

"Mr. Rengoku ... Is your father or mother like you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like always so ... energetic?"

He lets out a small laugh, his eyes closed. Rengoku speaks well for being drunk. But he murmurs some words, some loud others much quieter.

"My mother passed away when I was young ... My dad is angry all the time since then," there is no hate in Rengoku's voice rather understanding. "I have to become a Hashira ... So he can be proud of me. So he can love me."

The only light in the room is coming from the moonlight. It reflects beautifully on Rengoku's face. A shade of blues and whites, his long eyelashes look delicate and you get the urge to touch them. But you restrain yourself from doing so.

"You don't need love ... Love doesn't exist."

"It does ... If it wouldn't ... Then why was my father devastated after my mother died?" his voice became quieter and quieter. You know he is close to falling asleep completely. "If it wasn't because he loved her?"

"Then ... Do you want to become like that?" your voice becomes more aggressive. Not because you were angry but because his naivety bothers you a bit. "Do you want to be miserable if you were to lose a loved one?"

"With my role in the Demon Slayer Corps ... I can't allow myself to feel such emotions," although he keeps his energetic voice, you can tell that there is disappointment in his tone. "Besides, it's not like anyone would love a failure like me."

"You just proved my point then," you say. You didn't think Rengoku is a failure. It's the absolute opposite but your pride in winning the conversation is stronger. "Love doesn't exist for the less fortunate. For those who are insignificant. For the ones who are a failure ... Who could ever love that kind of people?"

There is a few seconds of silence. Finally, Rengoku turns and you can now only see his back.

"I guess ... You are right."

When he woke up you were not there. Instead, there is nothing just a headache and an empty tummy.

The sunlight feels heavy in his eyes but as he opens it, Rengoku sees there is nothing on your side of the bed. All your belongings were no longer there and he feels a little bit scared. He wonders if you are alright but he doesn't want to panic just yet. After cleaning himself up, he decides to finish his job. He can blame himself later, and receive punishment for his mistake. But he made a promise and he plans to keep it.

Taking soft steps, he smiles at the receptionist who also smiled at him. She didn't take long before talking to him.

"The lady who came with you last night told me to tell you that she won't longer accompany you on your mission," she says. The receptionist of the tea house is an older lady, old enough to have grey hair. "She said she has unfinished business elsewhere and has to make amends."

Feeling uneasy because of your sudden change of action, Rengoku looks at the receptionist for more answers.

"She sends her apologies."

"Thank you for the message," Rengoku says and before he could leave, the receptionist stops him.

"I don't want to intrude but ... The first time you two came, I did not recognize the young lady. She had changed so much," she speaks in a slow voice, the words coming out softly. "But yesterday, when I saw her with that messy hair of hers ... I recognized her."

Rengoku tilts his head.

"My apologies sir but we don't allow runaway girls in our establishments. Much less from the lower class."

Her words did not make much sense to Rengoku and curiosity got the best of him.

"I am sorry but I lack understanding," he says. "Can you explain further?"

"That young woman belongs to the Ueda brothel," the receptionist then points at Rengoku and he feels exposed. "A respectable man like you shouldn't be involved with someone like her ... Please redeem yourself and spend some time with an Oiran. The other men will surely be impressed by that."

He doesn't know where to start dissecting that information. Instead, he just shakes his head and smiles at the receptionist.

"I thank you for your kind advice."

He leaves.

Rengoku walks through the streets of the Red Light District. Hoping that maybe he can see you somewhere. He doesn't feel content with the way he has treated you. He is the one with more experience and should be your guide. Instead, it was the opposite. Leaving you alone when a demon is out there. Not like you couldn't take care of yourself but one small mistake can cost your life.

He knows he shouldn't. But he is worried and is daytime.

So he goes to the low-class section of the district.

The demon slayer doesn't know how to feel about the number of women offering their bodies to him. He gently declines them and he is mostly certain that they were not doing this because they wanted to. They look miserable, like slaves. And they were.

Even though today is a sunny day, there is a dark atmosphere in the whole area. There is no music, no laughs, no chatter. Just the sounds of the cicadas and the dry wind.

After asking around for a while, he reaches his destination. The Ueda brothel. It doesn't look any different from the others. There isn't anything particularly interesting about this place.

He goes inside and is worse than he expected. There is a group of girls cramped in one room. Most of them look unhealthy, pale and almost to the bone. They seem too weak to even stand.

"We are not open until the sun sets, we can give you a girl only if you pay double-"

An older lady appears from another room. She has wrinkles on her face. Her black hair was in a bun and wore a purple kimono. The lady takes a long look at Rengoku and from speaking informally, she softly changes to a formal tone.

"Are you by any chance ... Related to the Rengoku family?"

"Oh, how can you tell?"

"Well, the Rengoku family has very unique features."

That is true. Not everyone has red eyes and blond spiky hair with red tips. Looking like a living flame.

"I came here to request an audience with the owner of this place," Rengoku knows he is crossing his boundaries. You had asked him not to investigate your past. But there is something that doesn't feel right with him.

"I came to ask about someone who worked here ... I think."

"(Y/N) was sold by her parents to this brothel when she was six. She always gave me trouble ... Always bringing little money to the brothel."

Rengoku was offered green tea. He drinks a little bit of it although the story Mrs. Ueda was saying did not give him an appetite. He did it more out of courtesy than anything else.

"There is not much I can say. She had a close relationship with a samurai but then ... she killed him."

He can't hide his astonishment as he opens his mouth a little. There are no words to express his feelings.

"Soon after that, she ran away," Mrs. Ueda says, taking a sip of her tea. "May I ask ... what brings such an important member of society to a place like this?"

She changed the topic so casually that Rengoku had no choice but to follow along.

"I am on a mission," Rengoku tries to act normal even when he is still thinking about the previous information. "If you have any information regarding the recent murders in the district, I will highly appreciate it if you share that with me."

"Well, I don't know much but I heard that the Oiran from Suzuki's tea house recently survived an attack ... I am sure someone of your status will have no problem scheduling a visit with her."

He waits. It's the only thing he can do. He doesn't know if he should try to look for you or if he should focus on the mission. The sun is finally down and the stars fill the dark sky.

The best course of action should be to prepare a plan to trap the demon. That way no civilians should be harmed. It's either that or wait for the demon to attack and hope they don't hurt anyone in the process.

But Rengoku doesn't know much. What is the demon after? What motives? Why is it here?

He had a few theories but needs more investigation to confirm it.

Everyone stops what they are doing and opens a path to let someone pass.

She walks so slowly and elegantly. Walking on shoes so high that a normal person would tremble and fall. It takes years of practice of the art. To look beautiful and ethereal as she does.

Her face is painted and its perfection, it must have taken hours. Her hair as well. It's lovely and decorated with jewelry only made for the highest of maidens.

This is not the first time Rengoku has seen an Oiran. He remembers seeing a few when he was younger. Before his father was a angry man and when his mother was in better health, Rengoku has fond memories of being taken to dinners with important people. In such dinners, Oirans were brought to entertain them.

Sometimes his mother would get jealous of the beautiful Oiran who approached his father. Even when she was a very reserved woman but his father used to be like him ... Always laughing things off and making amends by making his mother laugh.

As he looks at the Oiran passing by, he realizes how beautiful she is. Almost as if she was a spirit, he couldn't believe someone like her could exist.

"Ex-excuse me."

Rengoku hears someone call for him. He looks down and next to him, there is a young woman. He immediately recognizes her and although the ground is dirty, he doesn't hesitate to get down on the floor and bow to beg for forgiveness.

"Please, young lady ... Forgive me for causing such irreparable pain in your heart," Regonku says. "I've been wanting to look for you to ask for forgiveness but I am deeply ashamed for what I did and couldn't find a way to face you without feeling unworthy."

It's quiet and Rengoku continues. "I know I can't do anything to bring your lover back but if there is any way I can ease the pain in your heart ... Please allow me to accomplish it."

Nanami's heart feels warm. This is the first time someone has ever apologized this deeply to her. With each word being genuine and full of feelings of regret. Nanami looks down at Rengoku, his forehead touching the dirt of the ground.

This man has a good heart, just like you had told her.

"(Y/N) has paid for your mistake."

Rengoku looks up at Nanami. There is an evident confusion on his face.

"Please stand. There is something I must tell you," Nanamis helps Rengoku stand up. He follows her actions and is thankful for her kindness. "(Y/N) ... She... she exchanged herself for me. She gave me my freedom."

"You know, letting that girl go so I could get you was such a waste of money ... But nothing will ever give me this satisfaction."

You sit in front of Mrs. Ueda. You were in her office and it hasn't changed. You had been here many times before. Punished with that same stick she is always carrying around. Holding a long cigar, she breathes in and exhales in front of your face. You find it disgusting but don't move.

"What did I tell you, (Y/N)?" Mrs. Ueda's previous hospitality with Rengoku is completely gone. There is hostility and hate in her eyes. "No matter what, runaways always come back."

She hits you with the stick. You remember the pain as soon as it impacts your body. Although you were stronger now and it doesn't feel as painful, the stick scratches your body to the point of bleeding.

"And you never paid your debt."

She kicks you and you land on the floor. Your hair has become loose again. It's a mess, there is dirt on it. Flashbacks are going through your head, of this same scenery. Although you are Demon Slayer now, nothing has changed. You are still that little girl who was worth three coins.

"Do you want to know why your parents didn't sell you to a tea house?" Mrs. Ueda walks around you, you could hear her sandals against the tatami mat. The only place in the building to have one. "Because you were so ugly no one wanted you."

She grabs your hair and makes you look up at her. Her nails almost digging on your scalp.

"And you still look the same. So pathetic ... Tell me why did you come back?"

Your mouth is dry and you gather the strength to look up at her.

"To pay my debt ... I can't be free unless I pay it."

Mrs. Ueda aggressively lets you go and you don't dare to stand up. You know it will be worse to defy her.

"You stupid girl ... There is no freedom for those who run away. Or have you forgotten the rules?"

She continues to hit you with no remorse and you cover your head. But her intention wasn't to kill you but to hurt you enough to see another day and keep doing it again.

"You won't ever leave this place!"

And as she was about to hit you again, you close your eyes and wait for the impact to happen.

But a few seconds passed.

And nothing.

You slowly open your eyes and see white socks with sandals. How disrespectful ... Who dares to come inside a tatami room with shoes on?

Rengoku forgets about formality as he stops Mrs. Ueda from hitting you again. He holds the stick with his hand and Mrs. Ueda lets go of it as she covers her mouth.

"Mr. Rengoku!"

He kneels down and carries you bridal style. You wanted to stop him but you were in shock and didn't process the moment in front of you.

"I am sorry I am late," he turns around and is about to leave but Mrs. Ueda stops him.

"Wait- you can't take her!" she screams at him, she is a completely different person from the one Rengoku met before. "She still belongs to this brothel, she exchanged herself for that girl! She can't leave unless her debt is paid!"

Rengoku doesn't even dare to look at Mrs. Ueda. But he looks at you instead.

"The Rengoku family will pay five times her debt. I hope that's enough."

"It's not about money anymore! It's about my pride! That woman killed a samurai ... A samurai that was my only son!" she screams violently, with tears in her eyes and desperation in her voice. "Why? Why does she get to be free just for joining the Demon Slayer Corps? She should atone for her sins! It's not fair!"

Rengoku looks at your wounds and even when he doesn't know your full story yet, he knows you must have gone through terrible things. Unspeakable and grotesque. He feels his throat go dry, his feelings threatening to come out of his eyes.

"... I think she has paid enough already."

"You don't have to carry me."

"I will feel better if I keep doing so."

Rengoku is walking away with you in his arms. He is naturally warm and it made a nice contrast with the cold night. If you could, you would have fallen asleep long ago but you had too much pride.

"I don't feel comfortable."

Seeing your expression, he lets you go. Allowing your feet to touch the ground first and making sure you weren't feeling dizzy. Your uniform was teared up in some parts and there are a few blood stains. He wants to attend to it but did not want to touch you if you did not want to.

"You are on your own now. I appreciate the time I spent with you. Thank you."

You bow respectfully before walking away. Feeling ashamed and even embarrassed to have a future Hashira looking at you with such pity. You will never be promoted at this rate, not like you cared in the first place.

"Wait, I need you," Rengoku goes after you, following you close. "We still have a mission to complete."

"I told you not to interfere with my past," you keep walking and you hear him get closer to you. You feel like he wants to hold you, desperate to stop you. But he respects your boundaries as much as he wished there weren't any. "Goodbye."

"My apologies," Rengoku rushes in and walks in front of you. "Please allow me to compensate for that. If you want you can hit me as hard and as long as you want to make up for it."

You don't think Rengoku realizes that he is 100 times stronger than you and that hitting him as many times as you wanted will have no impact on him whatsoever.

"That won't make me feel better."

"Well, that's because you are injured. Please let me take care of your wounds."

To you, it might be minor injuries but to him, it looks like you could faint at any second. But you couldn't tell if he is just being nice because he has to or because it was his duty.

"Stop acting like you care," you look at the ground. You had no shoes on. Rengoku had forgotten to pick them up as he left the room while carrying you. "Your feelings don't feel genuine."

"I am sorry-"

"Stop saying you are sorry!" you scream at him, your voice cracks as you look at him. "Can you feel something besides feeling sorry and happy all the time? Try being angry or sad!"

You walk past him and you are thankful no one is on the road. But there is no doubt a few people are peeping from their homes. Trying to calm down, you take a deep breath. You didn't want to say something you might regret later.

"Would I gain anything from feeling anything else? Anger, sadness, hate ... What else there is to it?"

Finally, there is a genuine expression on Rengoku's face. He is curious and his eyes show distress.

The thing you hate the most about Rengoku ... is how good of a person he seems to be. Genuinely good. He is good to everyone and that makes you feel uneasy.

"There is ... the feeling to survive," you say. "You are capable of feeling guilt. People who are trying to survive can't feel that."

"Uh?"

"The feeling of wanting to survive," a few images appear in your head. Kids dyings, adults begging for money, mothers selling their bodies to get food for their children.

"The poor, the unhealthy, the less fortunate. They all have a feeling to survive and they don't even know why. When you experience that ... When you really are trying to survive ... You can't feel anything else. It's something someone like you would not understand."

"Then tell me," Rengoku's voice is softer, almost comforting. "Explain it to me ... Please."

You take a long look at him and as ashamed as you were of your past, of telling someone like Rengoku about you ... You thought maybe you can trust him. Just for a little bit.

"... I was six when my parents sold me to the brothel ..."

"I am sorry but I am not accepting any new girls."

"Please! We are desperate! Anything would suffice!"

Your parent's face is blurry as you have a hard time remembering them.

They were on their knees, their foreheads touching the dirty ground. Tears in their eyes as they begged Mrs. Ueda to buy you. Now that you think about it, this is the only memory you have of Mrs. Ueda showing kindness to someone.

"I was a slave first. I cleaned the brothel and try to bring in customers and if I didn't, I would get hit by Mrs. Ueda. There wasn't much food so I always tried to eat bugs and plants whenever I could."

The drag that covered your body did not compare to the beautiful kimonos the geisha would wear. Whenever you could, you would sneak out to see the Oirans walk through the streets of the Red Light District. You hid in the back, however, because you didn't want to taint the beautiful presence of the Oiran by being too close to them.

"When I turned twelve. I started to work in the brothel. You said that you wouldn't judge me even if I was the daughter of a prostitute ... but the truth is that I was one."

You wanted to keep looking at the beautiful people. Daydreaming of a possibility in which you could be like them. Elegant, beautiful, rich. You knew they must eat the most delicious food and sleep in a warm bed.

But you couldn't dream for too long. You had to go back. To try and get a man crazy enough to sleep with you so you could afford to eat that night.

"Akio was a young samurai, a good swordsman and the son of Mrs. Ueda. He was kind to me. He gave me a bamboo sword and taught me how to defend myself. He said that if I became good enough and defeated him in a duel, he could give me a real sword."

It was not accustomed for a lady to learn how to use a sword. Especially one who is supposed to be as feminine as possible to please machinist men. But Akio was kind to you and he never improperly touched you and because he was Mrs. Ueda's only son, she allowed it.

"So I practiced. Not because I wanted to defend myself better but because the thought of owning a sword ... owning something made me feel thrilled."

You practiced with a tree. Hitting it as hard as you could. Practicing until your hands bleed, until the bamboo sword breaks. And when it broke, you picked up a tree branch and continued. Non-stop.

"But then ... "

You heard from the other girls in the brothel that Akio was in town. After practicing for 7 months, you were ready to challenge him to a duel. Walking around the district, you looked for him. Until you heard that he would be in the forest, hunting alongside his friends.

As you walk through the forest, you smell something being burned. It's a smell you don't recognize. It doesn't smell like wood or grass. It's a horrible smell. Of something rotten. Dying.

There is a big bonfire and you see people around it. You instinctively hid behind some bushes. The people wore masks of demons and the longer you look at the scene, the more things you realize.

It's a ritual and they had just sacrificed a little girl, you could tell by her small body in a wood trunk, her skin slowly melting.

"Let's not lose hope brothers! We have to continue our mission! We shall keep giving sacrifices to the demon king!" a man screams as the light from the bonfire lits even brighter. You recognized the voice but did not want to believe it. "And eventually we will all be blessed and shall receive the power of a demon!"

He takes off his mask and it's Akio.

"We have to keep trying! And may lord Muzan come and bless us all with his blood!"

You should be running. Crying, or hiding. Anything but being in this place.

They were unaware that you were there. Leaving their katanas unattended for anyone to grab. The sword was there for you to take, almost calling your name.

And you didn't hesitate to use it and stab the only man you have ever trusted in the back.

And you don't even know why. It's not like he ever did anything bad to you.

But in the back of your mind, there was the question. What if you were next? What if he does it again? What if ... he hurts another young girl like you?

"After that, I ran away. I was scared but I knew Mrs. Ueda would have killed me and never believed me. She made people look for me for days and I hid in the forest, cold and hungry."

It was a dry area and the thirst was insufferable. There weren't any rivers nearby and you try to survive by drinking the dew of plants and flowers. You thought of going back. Of accepting your punishment but you knew that if you do that the punishment will be death. And if you could choose between dying peacefully or being tortured to death ... the first option sounded more appealing.

"I was not going to make it. I was going to die. And the night was approaching."

You were laying on the ground. The grass underneath you and trees surrounded you. You could see the stars above you, eternally beautiful in the dark sky. You wonder that if you die you would become a star and be beautiful too. But you quickly realize that it's not possible. Someone with a filthy soul and stained body does not belong with stars. It belongs here in this hell.

At least you got to own something in this lifetime. The katana you stole and used to kill Akio.

You hear steps approaching you. Something is growling, there are heavy steps.

A demon.

"I ran even when I wanted to give up. But my body still wanted to live even when my mind had already accepted its fate."

You keep running. Your feet are bleeding, your arms are being scratched as you ran through the bushes and trees. The sticks and tree branches brushing against your skin, the blood only allured the demon in. It knew where you were.

You fell. And just waited for the demon to come and kill you.

But then ...

"I saw it. The most beautiful thing I've seen. A Wisteria tree. I felt at peace. Like it was cleaning my sins ... hope."

You couldn't believe something so beautiful could be made by nature. That you were worth being in the presence of something so ethereal. Something that can just exist because it can. Pure love. A wisteria tree that offers nothing but protection and beauty. A being higher than you. The only mercy that has ever been shown to you ... was by this Wisteria tree.

"I never wanted this life. I never wanted to be sold to a brothel nor ever wanted to sell my body."

You stand up. Grabbing the katana with such strength you thought you could break the handle. You could hear the demon approaching but were hesitant as the Wisteria tree was behind you.

"And I got angry. So angry at life. Angry that I was denied seeing such a beautiful sight before! And I couldn't let life stop me. If life wants me to give up then it better kill me! But I wasn't going to let it drag me around. I couldn't accept the fact that I was born to just suffer. To just die."

You were afraid but your anger is stronger. You had to survive. You had to prove to life, to God, the universe, Buddha, and whoever is out there ... that only you can decide when to die.

"I took the sword with my hands and cut the demon's neck."

"After that, I was able to reach another village and worked as a farmer for a while. I went from village to village so I wouldn't be found. I trained and I passed the Demon Slayer Corp's test ... barely."

After being accepted into the Demon Slayer Corps, your criminal background was erased. Mostly one of the reasons why you joined them.

Looking down at the floor, you don't want to make eye contact with Rengoku. You didn't want to look at the disgusted face he must have.

"I am not talented. I can't do any breathing techniques but I want to live. I am going to live until I decide I don't longer want to. That's the only choice I ever had in my life and it's the only choice I want to make."

There is silence and the awkwardness is killing you. Rengoku doesn't say a word. Not like he could say much. But you wished he could say something, at least to insult you.

"I am not like you Mr. Rengoku," you say. "I didn't feel guilty when I killed Akio and I don't feel it now. I don't have a kind heart like you. It happened so many years ago but even so now ... The only thing I can feel is the need to survive."

You muster the strength to look at Rengoku. And you look at his face. His eyes. He no longer has those fiery eyes, but instead, there is sadness. And you regret saying a word. Wishing you could see those happy eyes once again.

"(Y/N) ... I-"

"AAAHHHH!"

There is a scream coming from the central section of the Entertainment district. Both of you quickly react and run to where the scream comes from.

There are a lot of people, panic had kicked in and everyone was screaming and running.

You quickly spotted an Oiran fighting for her life. A man launches at her, he looks insane. Red eyes and growling like a hungry dog.

Rengoku didn't hesitate and kicked the man off the Oiran. The man, who is possed by a demon, gets back on his feet. In all four at first and then on two, prepared to attack.

"Nose, nose, nose, nose"

The demon murmurs repeatedly.

You stand in front of the Oiran, protecting her in case the possessed man plans to attack her again.

Rengoku is fast. He doesn't unleash his sword but with his fist, he punches the face of the man.

A black shadow comes flying out of the man's body and quickly goes inside the Oiran's body. You quickly turn around but you do not unleash your sword, too afraid to hurt her. You take a few steps back as the Oiran starts to change, her eyes red and she's growling just like the man before her.

Her red eyes lay on Rengoku, the only man in this place as everyone had already run away and hid.

"Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes."

She is about to attack him and as bad as you feel for her, you decide to go towards her and punch her directly in the face. Breaking her nose in the process.

"DAMN, YOU! I WANTED THAT!"

The Oiran covers her nose as a demonic voice screams at you. Then, the demon goes out of her body, leaving it unconscious.

The shadow-like demon moves on the ground like a snake, moving so fast that you were unable to follow it with your eyes.

"Flame Breathing, First Form ..."

But Rengoku is ready to attack, only him with his speed and technique would be able to defeat it.

"Unknown Fire!"

He launches towards the shadow, cutting it in half. So simple as if it was paper.

You knew Rengoku was strong. But he is more than that. His every moment was filled with so much passion and heart that you feel your knees tremble. You didn't know if it was out of respect or out of fear.

The shadow disappears and you run towards Rengoku.

"Is it over?" You ask him but he looks side to side, wondering where that thing could have come from.

"No, that wasn't the demon's main body. It was probably just some type of Blood Art Magic," Rengoku goes back to where the Oiran and the man are. He picks the Oiran as he picked you up before. So delicately and so naturally that you wonder how many times has he done this before.

"Could you please help me with the man over there? We need to take them to the hospital," he says. "We should also plan our next move."

After leaving the injured in the hospital, you two decided to head back to the hotel. Rengoku insisted on staying on guard for the night. Saying that he is not sleepy and that you should rest.

Once again there is only the moonlight coming from the window and there is silence except for the wind. It's extremely awkward, especially after you said that you wanted to leave the mission.

"I know you said you were going to leave," Rengoku sits next to you while you lay in the bed. He is facing the window and you can see the symbol of 'Destroy' in his uniform. "But I need you. I think I have a plan."

You are not sure. You are still angry that he tried to discover more about your past.

But you can't stay angry at him for too long. You guessed it is one of Rengoku's charms.

"... I think that when this demon possesses a human, it proceeds to eat the part of the body that the human finds most beautiful in the other person."

You noticed that Rengoku has his sword on the left, ready to unleash it if necessary. It's his way of trying to protect you or maybe trying to make you feel protected in case you couldn't sleep.

"When I punched the Oiran's face and broke her nose ... the demon talked very angrily. It was no longer a beautiful nose. The demon didn't need it anymore."

Rengoku had the same theory but the previous fight confirmed it as well.

"We have to find a way to anger the demon enough to make its true form come out ... Even if it's only for a small moment, I am sure I can slay its neck. I just have to-"

"Mmmm ... Ah!"

It's moments like this that you remember that you were in a middle-class hotel. There is a constant sound, that of bodies impacting each other and moaning. A lot of it.

"Is there a play going on? I hear clapping," Rengoku looks at the wall where the sounds are coming from. He looks genuinely intrigued and you didn't know if this was a good or bad sign. "It must be a really good play! They are clapping a lot."

"They are having intercourse," you explained simply. He is an adult and you didn't want to sugarcoat it. "You know, making babies."

"Oh? Well, I hope they are successful in their mission!" Rengoku says in a happy tone but not too loud as to interrupt the couple in the next room. "I wish I could do that!"

"Nothing is stopping you," you look at the ceiling, not looking at anything particularly. "I'll be fine, go find yourself a beautiful Oiran, there is still an early night."

" ... I am not qualified to please a woman. I am very inexperienced."

"Well, an Oiran can teach you. Actually, it's a good opportunity for you. Not many get to have their first time with an Oiran."

"I don't want my first time to be with an Oiran," Rengoku goes back to looking at the window and now you look at him again. "I want to do it ... with someone I love."

You didn't want to say anything but you could swear that there is a blush in the demon slayer's face.

"Love doesn't exist," you say. "And if it does ... Well, I think you will be the only one worthy of it."

You couldn't see it but Rengoku cheeks' had become red.

He turns around to look at you but you were no longer facing him. Instead, he could only see your back now and the slow movements of your breathing. Rengoku assumes you were already asleep.

"You are the only one who thinks so."

"Do you really think this is a good idea Mr. Rengoku?"

"Yes," Rengoku exclaims. "And please stop calling me Mr.Rengoku, we are the same age. It feels strange. Call me Kyojuro."

You both were on your way to a famous tea house to get ready for the plan. Getting ready will take hours. You weren't completely confident about this idea but you trusted Rengoku's experience.

"I think I'll stick with just Rengoku ... I don't want to forget formalities once you become a Hashira."

"Alright, whatever you feel comfortable using."

You look up at Hasegawa's Tea House, one of the most prestigious and luxurious tea houses in the Red Light Strict. Many Oirans have come out of this place and apparently, Rengoku has a few connections. Such connections will help with today's 'make-over.'

"Alright, so this is the plan," he clears his voice and looks at you. "You will be a fake Oiran. We will wait for someone to get possessed while you do the Oiran walk. We will knock out the demon like last time but this time we won't slay it, we just follow it to reach the real form of the demon."

The plan is too easy and many things could go wrong. You look at Rengoku who keeps smiling at you. He is confident about this and you couldn't doubt him. Doubt is dangerous in a job like this.

"I just hope it doesn't disappear."

"Don't worry that's what these katanas are for! I'll stab the sword into the shadow and it won't be able to disappear until I take it from it."

You look at the tea house. It's an exquisite place, it looks clean and fancy. You remember how you wished to live here. Wanting to have 'sisters' to help you every day to wear a pretty kimono or to get your make-up and hair ready ... Now you are going to be doing that but not in the type of situation you wanted to be.

"Rengoku," your voice is serious now. You don't look at him but you know he is listening. "Before we do this, I want to make something clear. If I get possessed by one of the demon's shadows, I am giving you the right to kill me. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I can't promise that," he quickly snaps. "I'll stop you before that happens."

"I won't do this unless you promise me," you look at him. A few seconds passed and there is no response from him. "Please."

It's almost like you are begging him. You were not one to show so many emotions but your eyes show sincerity. Rengoku could only hope that he is strong enough to stop you ... Or make the right choice.

"I promise."

There are a lot of people who wait along the streets to wait for the Oiran to walk. Rengoku hid in the vast amount of people. Keeping on the lookout for anyone who might fall victim to the demon. It's a dangerous mission, especially due that he doesn't know much about the demon. One thing is sure, the demon is easily angered. Maybe even vain, telling by the interaction yesterday night.

Now it's all about waiting. Being patient and precautions, and taking the right decision that will save most lives.

No, no most lives. Everyone. He had to keep everyone safe.

Rengoku sees you walk slowly. It's strange to see you wearing something different than your Demon Slayer's uniform. Wearing white painting on your face, red lips, your hair is decorated with jewelry and it might be just enough for Rengoku to get distracted.

He feels his heart feel hotter and he wonders what kind of feeling is this or if this is normal. Maybe it's something in the air or a sixth sense telling him to pay attention to the mission.

Rengoku couldn't worry too much about it right now. He sees you walk with tall Koma-Geta shoes, he wonders if you had secretly practiced how to walk on those or if you learned in a matter of a few hours.

You worried.

Mostly because you didn't know if anyone would find you beautiful enough.

You mentally shake your head. For just a brief moment, you are an Oiran. An Oiran, the perfect woman, a beautiful one. They don't doubt their beauty or elegance, they know for a fact who they are and what they are meant to be.

Very much unlike you. You just hoped you were a good enough actress to make everyone believe your facade.

There is a commotion. People are screaming as they see something coming towards you. A young man is running on all fours, like an animal. People ran in all different directions, trying to find a safe spot in which they wouldn't be harmed by the demon.

Under your very expensive kimono, your katana is waiting for you to use it. Waiting for the right moment, the man jumps towards you. But before he could touch you, Rengoku comes in and tackles the man to the ground.

"Neck, neck, neck, neck."

The man who is possed by the demon keeps murmuring. Everyone is gone and you get down from your tall shoes and in bare feet, you run to Rengoku.

He keeps the man under control, putting both of his arms under his back. Although the possessed man is kicking his feet and moving his body uncontrollably, Rengoku is stronger.

The moment you got closer, the man moves with more strength.

"Neck, neck, neck!" he screams as he looks at you.

"So what now? Are we going to cut my neck so the demon comes out?" you ask Rengoku sarcastically.

"No but the demon has two options," Rengoku says as he looks up at you. Still, he can't shake the feeling off from when he saw you. "Either the demon comes, and fights us to get this thing back ... or we wait until the sun rises and kills the shadow inside the human ... I am strong. I can wait all night if necessary."

"... Smart."

Suddenly, you hear the finger snapping. The sound made the shadow inside the human leave his body. The shadow rapidly crawls onto the floor, and you follow it with your eyes.

It goes back to its owner. The person who snapped was tall and slim. Nice physic with a long neck, small lips, and cute button nose. A thin, pointy face. Short black hair.

What a beautiful person. And its beauty is only amplified by the beautiful kimono she is wearing. Wearing very tall Koma-Geta shoes, but she looks to be a natural wearing them.

She is the most beautiful Oiran you have seen. But not only that ... A demon too.

Sky-blue eyes that said 'Lower Moon Three.'

She has a powerful presence but she looks like she won't hurt a fly.

"I want your neck."

Her voice is delicate and elegant. It's enchanting."

"You already have one," you say. More interested in learning about the demon and maybe if you can find a weakness. "Why do you want another one?"

"Because today, that man thought you had the most beautiful neck. Not mine," the demon says. "Tomorrow, someone else may have a more beautiful neck. But today it's yours. And I want it."

The demon takes one step forward and seeing that the man on the ground was no longer possessed by the demon, Rengoku steps in front as he holds the handle of his katana. Ready to unleash it whenever necessary.

"And if I say no?"

"Find out."

The demon snaps her fingers and five shadows come out of her. Immediately going after you but Rengoku slays them before they could touch you.

It is getting ridiculous. You know that you were not at Rengoku's level and maybe never could be. But you are starting to feel useless in the whole situation. Well, you should have expected it. You were the bait after all.

The demon snaps her fingers again and this time 30 shadows come out. Finally, you were able to unleash your sword and take out three shadows while Rengoku took care of the rest.

"Why don't you fight us instead of just throwing your shadows?" Rengoku is confident but he does not misunderestimate the demon.

"Fine ... Once I am finished with you, I'll have her neck."

The demon then multiplicates 100 times. With 100 different faces, bodies, hairs, legs, hands, eyes. All of them are beautiful but in such beauty, something feels strange.

You two are surrounded, watching each other backs.

The 100 creatures began to attack, you slash their necks but it's not the demon's true form. Either that or you will have to cut all of the creature's neck at the same time to defeat it.

"What now?!" You ask Rengoku who is also busy fighting. He can keep up but you don't know how long you can do this. "How are we going to cut the necks of all of these demons at the same time?!"

He doesn't respond, you know that he may be thinking of a plan. But tragically you are starting to get tired. How many shadow-demons have you slayed? 15? There is no end to it. They just keep regenerating.

You finally get kicked down by one of the shadows and one came after the other. Kicking and punching you. Blood coming out of your wounds. Your perfectly groomed hair is now loose and a mess.

"(Y/N!)"

Rengoku gets distracted and is smacked against one of the buildings, breaking the walls along the process.

You are no longer being attacked and you see how quickly the shadows go towards Rengoku. He is unconscious, but just for a short time as he quickly opens his eyes and they are completely red. Not the gentle red you were used to. These had no life in them.

"What a strange person."

The demon inside Rengoku could only see one thing.

"I can't stay in this body for too long ... This man's body, the heat ... the fire in him will kill me!"

You quickly grab your katana and stand up as much as your body hurts. There is debris and you wait for Rengoku to come out of the destroyed building. Your hands tremble. You are scared. Most likely will die but you can't let that happen.

"Hair, hair, hair, hair,"

Rengoku comes out of the building at a speed you have never seen before.

No, you can't win.

You won't win.

But you can decide when your life ends. In the end, it's the only choice you ever had.

Instead of attacking him, you quickly unleash your katana, grab your hair, and cut it.

Rengoku immediately stops as you let go of your hair, the delicate strings flying in the wind.

"YOU DAMN GIRL!"

The demon screams at you as it comes out of Rengoku's body. He falls to the ground.

"YOU RUINED IT FOR ME THREE TIMES! I WON'T LET YOU GO!"

The demon of the 100 faces goes inside your body. It feels repulsing. You couldn't control your body but your mind is still intact.

"This ... is strange."

As the demon looks through your eyes to look at Rengoku, there is nothing in particular you see beautiful about him. But that couldn't be possible. The demon looks again, trying to look for anything. Eyes? Nose? Lips? Hands? It was impossible. There is nothing you find beautiful about him.

Rengoku slowly stands up, no longer under the influence of the demon. He strongly holds his katana, pointing it towards your possessed body.

"I see it now. That's it!"

The demon is exhilarated. Fanatically laughing in your body, tears in your eyes while Rengoku is silently panicking but he has to remain calm. Otherwise, he will end up losing this battle.

"Finally! What I've been looking for years!"

The demon is ready to attack, wanting to get to Rengoku as soon as possible. However, she couldn't deny that she has to calculate her moves due that the swordsman is very skilled.

"The most beautiful thing about this man ... "

The demon launches toward Rengoku but he quickly dodges, he doesn't use his sword, too scared that he might hurt you.

"Heart, heart, heart, heart!"

For the first time in his life.

Rengoku hesitates.

The demon punches him in the face and he lands on his back. Dirt from the ground is picked up it as moves with the wind. He coughs as he inhales it and is quick to stand up.

"It's his heart! After I eat his heart, I would have finally achieved perfection! The pinnacle of human beauty!"

His breathing is heavy, he holds his katana with both hands. His posture is perfect, his stance is strong. Rengoku is perfectly capable of slaying the lower moon demon. But he can't manage to hurt you and he can't let you hurt anyone either. He had promised.

The lower moon demon attacks Rengoku and he jumps to dodge you. But the demon grabs his foot and quickly brings him back to the ground, his back impacting against the soil.

He is not thinking clearly and he unleashes his sword. The demon places your hands in front of the attack and Rengoku lightly cuts the superficial layer of your skin.

The demon screams but it's your voice the one Rengoku hears. His facial expression changes as he listens to your painful voice, his eyebrows sink and his forehead wrinkles.

"Heart, heart, heart, heart!"

Rengoku knows that it's either kill you or let you go and you hurt people. You or multiple innocent lives? There is no way the demon would let you go. Not when the demon has decided that it wants his heart.

So maybe ... the right choice is ... to give it to her.

"I killed someone because of you ... because of my mistake," Rengoku looks at you but talks to the demon inside. "But from now on ... I promise that as long as I live, I will never let anyone else die! I will protect everyone from demons!"

He didn't know if this is the right choice but he couldn't let you die. Not when you had such genuine feelings toward him. He couldn't let die the only person who has truly seen the passion in his heart ... How could anyone find that beautiful will always be a mystery to him. Regardless, he is thankful that someone appreciates his kind and stupid heart.

Rengoku quickly points his katana at himself, the sharp edge directly pointing at his heart.

And as he is about to stab himself, he looks up to see you.

Just to find you, holding your sword to your neck. Ready to slay your neck and end your life along with the demon.

"Uh?"

The demon is surprised that you were able to use your body for just a few seconds. She was distracted but not anymore. The lower moon demon stops you before you kill both of you.

"You really thought you could end your life?"

The demon speaks out loud, knowing well that you were in your subconscious listening to her.

"You stupid girl! Only I get to decide when you die!" the demon screams. "And you will die after I eat the heart of that demon slayer!"

However, the lower moon demon pays attention to Rengoku's action. Scared, she couldn't afford for him to stab his own heart. She can't lose that heart. The demon takes a few seconds to think and she has an idea.

Using the demon slayer's kind heart against him.

"Don't you even think of stabbing that heart of yours! If you do I'll kill myself and this woman!" she screams at Rengoku who is still not moving from his previous position. "You do not want to try me!"

"I am going to live until I decide I don't longer want to. That's the only choice I ever had in my life and it's the only choice I want to make."

Rengoku remembers your words, your voice sounding through his head as he still has his katana pointing at his heart.

"Love doesn't exist. And if it does ... Well, I think you will be the only one worthy of it."

He slowly puts his sword down, still holding onto it ... but defeated, he drops his katana.

"If I get possessed by one of the demon's shadows, I am giving you the right to kill me. I don't want to hurt anyone."

And suddenly ... Rengoku runs towards you. He tackles you to the ground, making the demon drop your sword, unreachable now.

He wraps his hands around your neck and starts to press hard. Choking you as his hands get hotter by the second.

The demon fights by kicking and trying to push Rengoku away but he is too strong and the only thing that is hurting him is seeing you suffer by his hands.

"What is he thinking?!"

The demon thinks, still inside of you and deciding what to do next.

"If he keeps going, he will burn her neck! He will kill her and me!"

"Get out!"

Rengoku screams and for a moment the demon feels genuinely scared. As if a dragon had come and decided to punish her for her sins.

"GET OUT OR I'LL BURN YOU TO DEATH!"

The flames coming out of his hands are different. The demon could feel how the heat is slowly burning her, destroying her neck little by little as the demon slayer is determined to end her life. The demon had underestimated him. A heart as passionate as his could not be stopped, could not be tamed by a mere low-rank demon.

The demon leaves your body, leaving you unconscious. Moving like a snake, crawling on the ground like a coward.

Rengoku takes the opportunity to grab his sword from the ground and follows the demon at great speed.

"Flame Breathing, Third Form ..." Rengoku prepares to attack, like a tiger who has eyes on its prey.

It's as if everything is in slow motion. The demon can't escape Rengoku no matter how fast she tries to go.

"This can't be! It can't be!"

The demon wanted to pray even when she had been abandoned by God a very long time ago.

"I can't die yet! I haven't reached perfection yet!"

She starts to remember all the lives she took. All the beautiful people she made. All the faces she took.

"Blazing Universe!"

And just like that ... Rengoku Kyojuro slays her neck.

"I have to be perfect!"

"Love doesn't exist ... And if it does it is a privilege only beautiful people have."

"You disgusting thing! How dare you steal from a geisha!"

She gets hit with a wooden stick as she is dragged across the tea house to the kitchen. She doesn't have a memory of ever being free or having parents. She has always been a slave to this place.

"I'll cut your hand! That will teach you to not steal again!"

"I don't remember stealing anything. But one of the geishas was scared of me. She thought that if I stayed in the same place as her, my ugliness would spread to the other apprentices. She set me up."

She was not worthy of a name. No one dared to name someone who was considered to be a 'thing.'

However, she had different nicknames. 'Witch, pig, shit, thing.'

Just a thing.

After losing her hand, she had to manage in different ways to do the house chores. Otherwise, she would be kicked out of the tea house. She had prohibited to come out of her room whenever the tea house had clients.

Nonetheless, through a small hole she made in her wooden wall, she sees the evening unfold.

"I saw how beautiful everyone was. The geishas and the men who courted them. The drinks, the performances. A swordsman who stole my heart the moment I saw him."

Whenever she had time, she would follow him around. Even when she would be late and her owner would hit her again with a spiky wooden stick until she bled.

It was hell, but being able to see him made every day worth it.

"One time, he saw me. And instead of making a disgusted face, he gave me a few coins. I thought I was blessed! That I was the luckiest girl alive."

But since she wasn't allowed to have anything, her owner tried to take the coins from her.

She resisted until her owner had no other choice but to burn her face with cigarettes, leaving marks all over it.

"But it was ok, I didn't care as long as I was able to see him."

It wasn't until she found out that the swordsman got engaged to a beautiful woman ... that she began to feel something more than just love for him. But hate and anger began to fill her heart. Jealousy that she had felt before for the beautiful people had now intensified.

"It was late at night and I grabbed the same knife my owner used to cut my hand ... I didn't kill the swordman's fiancee. Instead, I used that knife and killed every person in that tea house. I cut their faces and put them on top of my own. "

But she was just a small, stupid girl. And it didn't take a long time before the townspeople found out who it was.

They took the girl and tortured her by cutting parts of her body. Her fingers, toes and hands. An eye, tongue and lips.

She was left there to die. Next to the river that slowly began to be tainted by blood.

"Why? Why did they do this to me? I only took revenge for what they did to me! No one ever cared for my well-being when they treated me worst than a dog! So why?! If I had died at their hands no one would have cared. Why do they care for them when no one cared for me?!"

She could only hear steps coming closer to her. A demonic presence that was giving her a chance at a new life.

"And I knew why ... it's because they were beautiful and I wasn't. Only beautiful people get to know what love is. What it feels like when people care for you."

She remembers the swordman, the moment he smiled and gave her a few coins.

"And only those with kind hearts ... are the most beautiful of all humans."

She finally reached the river. In one last moment of strength, she looks at the river and sees the face of a young man next to her. A demon who was willing to give her another chance in life in exchange for her eternal service to him.

And instead of looking at her face ... All the time she thought about what a blessing it is that he is here.

"Now that I think about it ... I don't think I have ever seen my own reflection."

The sun began to rise.

The only thing that could be heard is Rengoku's desperate voice, trying to keep you alive.

He looks at the mark on your neck he caused. It's red and irritated, your skin is burned because of him.

Close your eyes,

And remember that passing voice.

I can't return,

I can't go back.

There is only deep darkness.

He starts to compress your chest and give you mouth-to-mouth breathing with the hopes that you will react. But nothing, you just lay there, lifeless. Rengoku's own breathing is agitated, in complete distress.

"You can't die. You can't die you hear me!"

I can't return, I can't go back.

There is only deep darkness.

You hear a gentle sound and it makes you cry

No matter how painful it is,

Move forward

Keep going

Cut off that despair.

You don't know exactly where you are. But you feel safe. There is no pain, just empty darkness. You wondered if this is it. If this is the place people go when they die. Cursing yourself because you weren't the one to end things how you wanted. Instead, it was Rengoku who took that decision.

Rengoku.

Even if you lose, even if you fail,

You have no choice but to keep on living.

No matter how beaten you are,

There is something you have to protect.

He holds your body in his arms, cradling you so gently. Delicately putting strings of your now short hair behind your ears. He takes a better look at your face. Engraving each curve, each imperfection and texture into his mind.

"I was ready to give up my life so you could be safe ..."

Even if you lose, even if you fail,

You have no choice but to keep on living.

No matter how beaten you are,

There is something you have to protect.

You walk into the darkness, not knowing what you were looking for. Or if there is anything to look for at all. Maybe you were looking for something that could not be found. But you feel it. Something ... someone needs you. Calling desperately your name.

This is the path you chose,

Get ready to face destiny.

Covered in mud and scratched your feet,

Look at that thin thread you can't see by eye.

"But I chose to use the right you gave me because I found a reason to live. A reason to survive no matter what!"

Rengoku has never thought too much about his life. He always thought that as long as his life could be used to save others, then it was a life well lived.

But ... would it be alright if he was a little bit selfish? If he wanted more than to just purely devote himself to slaying demons?

In the days you two spent together, he only saw the external layer of you. Of how you only had a sad face, of how your forehead wrinkles when you are angry. How beautiful your hair moves with the wind.

And all that time he saw the superficial ... You saw him. His heart.

You hear a gentle sound that makes you cry.

No matter how painful it is,

Move forward

Head forward

Cut off that despair.

You feel a drop of water touch your cheek. But it's a tear. That of love. Of genuine care and kindness. Of the pure emotions of a gentle heart.

"I never thought I could be worthy of having someone so kind care for me this way."

You slowly open your eyes and see Rengoku in tears, eyes closed as the sun rises behind him. Maybe you were really in heaven.

"I want to keep protecting you!"

Even if it hurts, even if you are in pain,

You have no choice but to stand up.

No matter how beaten you are,

There is something you have to protect.

You caress Rengoku's cheeks, cleaning a few tears. He opens his eyes just to find you alive.

Pure and genuine feelings of admiration. Of the kind heart Rengoku has. Maybe that is the thing you were looking for in the darkness. A blazing heart, kind enough to care for someone like you. Another reason to keep surviving in this cruel world.

There is something you have to protect.

"I am sorry. The mark on your neck will never heal. The burning damaged your skin and it's irreparable."

You are not used to resting at Butterfly Mansion. You were never injured enough to be sent here. Even if you didn't want to be here, you were too weak to protest against Rengoku's wishes.

"But on the bright side, it doesn't look too bad! They look like flames even!

Ms. Shinobu wraps bandages around your neck, knowing that your skin is too sensitive at the moment to let it be exposed to the sunlight.

Your body feels tired but not hurt. Seating on the edge of the bed, you look out the window. It's a bright day and you could hear the birds singing.

"I thank you for your time ... I think I should get going," you stand up and bow to Ms. Shinobu. "Could I get my clothes back?"

"Oh yes, let me bring them to you!" Shinobu says but she feels hesitant about you leaving so soon. "But, may I suggest you wait for a little longer? Rengoku went to town to get me a few things ... he should be getting back soon."

You tilt your head and look at her confused.

"I am sorry but I fail to see how that has to do with me?"

"Well, Rengoku has been waiting for you to wake up," Shinobu takes a look at your appearance. Noticing how your hair is crooked. Probably because you had cut your hair with a katana, or so Rengoku told her. "He has not slept at all."

"To be honest ... I was hoping he had already left," you say. "I did not want him to see me and feel guilty."

Shinobu smiles and goes next to your bed. Next to it, there is a cabinet. She opens it and takes out a pair of scissors. You look at her a bit scared. Shinobu gets too close to you and playfully opens and closes the scissors.

"Well, then maybe we have to ... make you look healthier!"

You feel good in your washed clothes and a new haircut, especially cut by Shinobu herself. Your hair is short, it doesn't touch your shoulders but it does not touch your face either. You feel cold in your neck as you had never had your hair this short before.

You look at the bandages in your neck that covered your damaged skin. It bothers you a little bit but you know you will get used to it in no time.

Putting on your shoes, you sit on the wooden porch of Butterfly Mansion. You wait for your crow to come to you, hoping that maybe you will get a new mission.

"Well, I was not expecting you here."

Giyu Tomioka is known for his stoic face and unreadable actions. You see him make his way towards you. He is wearing a backpack and his crow lays on his shoulder. He most likely arrived a few minutes ago.

"Of course you were. Why else would you be here?"

You finished putting on your shoes. You stay sitting where you are and just let him seat next to you, very casually.

"Yeah, I guess you are right."

There is a silence as he stays close to you but it's not uncomfortable. You wonder who will it be the one to break the silence first. It's not like you were in a hurry to finish the silence, it's been a long while since you and Giyu had time together like this.

"Does it hurt?"

"Uh?" You turn your head to look at him and see Giyu pointing at his own neck.

"Does it hurt?"

He asks again and it surprised you Giyu noticed the bandages on your neck. You thought your uniform's top covered it enough along with your hair.

Either that or he knew about the battle before coming to the Butterfly Mansion.

"At that moment ... yes, it did hurt a lot but," you tried to look for the right words to explain the feeling but did not find them. "I think Rengoku was holding back so as not to hurt me too much."

"He definitely was. If he wanted he could have just melted your neck in an instant," he says as he keeps looking at your neck and then at your face. "Still, it doesn't excuse his dangerous actions ... You are lucky you are alive."

"Well, at least I can say I was burned by the Flame Hashira and survived," you tried to light up the mood, seeing that Giyu has a dark aura around him. He always did but it's more than usual this time. "This will make for some interesting stories."

"It's a shame."

"I'm over it ... really," you say as you touch the top of your bandages. "It doesn't hurt anymore but Ms. Shinobu says I should keep them covered for a few days at least-"

"Not that," Giyu interrupts you and proceeds to raise his hand. Moving it closer and closer to your face.

"Your hair."

He caresses the tips of your hair, remembering how long it used to be. Delicate, soft, beautiful.

"It will grow back ... and it will be the same. I know it."

Giyu has always been a person of small talk. You know this is his way to show that he cares. In his way, he is telling you he is relieved. Or that's what you liked to believe.

After a few seconds, of looking at you and making sure that he didn't miss any other injury or change in your appearance, Giyu lets go of your hair and waits before speaking again.

"I have a proposition," he says.

On the other side of the room ... Rengoku takes small peaks as he looks at you and Tomioka talk. He doesn't have the best of hearing, so he struggles to hear anything you two are saying.

He notices the body language. How close Tomika is to you and how gently he touched your hair.

Tomika stands from the porch, not taking off his backpack, he says one last thing to you before leaving. Rengoku's suspicions are right. Tomioka just came to see you.

After a few moments, you stretch your arms and go inside the room. Rengoku sees you with a backpack now and your crow had also arrived. It lays on your shoulder and it looks like it's telling you something.

You get off the porch, ready to leave the Butterfly Mansion.

"Wait!"

Rengoku finally comes out of his hidden spot. You turn around and see him smiling at you.

"Are you sure you want to leave already? He asks. "It's better to rest and heal your wounds properly before going into any other missions."

"I rested plenty ... I slept for days didn't I?" You could feel some eyes on you. Some young girls inside the house are giggling and talking to themselves. You could only wonder about the type of things they must be imagining. "I must thank you for watching over me all of that time. I should keep going so I can stop being a burden to you and the people in this mansion."

"You are not a burden. And it was nothing. As your partner in the mission, I just wanted to make sure of your well-being."

You don't know what to say after that. Things have been a bit awkward after the mission and you were not certain why.

"I saw you and Tomioka talk," Rengoku looks to the side, avoiding your eyes and you feel a strange sentiment coming from him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Giyu came to check up on me," you say with the hopes that he will stop avoiding eye contact with you.

"Giyu?"

This hits a nerve on Rengoku ... for a reason he doesn't know.

"I had knowledge that you two knew each other but I didn't know you two were that close!" he laughs but it's fake to hide his evident annoyance. "You even call him by his first name? How lovely!"

But it was not lovely, at least that's not really the message Rengoku is trying to give you.

"Giyu and I have some unsolved business in a close town. He is going to finish a mission and I'll be meeting him in Gokayama Village."

"Oh then I'll come with you two!" he smiles and is ready to depart whenever you are ready. "It will be fun to go on a mission with you and him!"

"It's not really a mission ... it's more of a personal matter," you say. Rengoku's actions are becoming a mystery to you. Maybe he still feels guilty about hurting you. "Besides you don't want to deal with having to share a bed with Giyu, he moves a lot! And Ms. Shinobu told me that your Becoming-of-Hashira Ceremony will be held soon! You need to prepare."

"... You have slept in the same bed with Tomioka?" Rengoku's smile does not disappear, instead his right eyebrow twitches.

"Yes, but that's not the point?" you couldn't pinpoint exactly what is going on in Rengoku's mind but if he doesn't communicate it then it's probably not that important. "Don't worry I am sure Giyu will be here before your ceremony."

"If I invite you to the ceremony, would you attend?"

"Uh? No, I don't think so. Only Hashira and important people can attend those things," you scratched your head. Not because you were confused but rather embarrassed that Rengoku thought of inviting you to such an important event. "Maybe ask your father? I know how important this is for you."

"I guess a better question is ... Will I see you again?"

He takes a few steps closer, there is some hope in his eyes. Tragically you will be taking that hope away soon but you still tried to be gentle with your words.

"Unless you request me for a mission ... I don't think so. You know Hashira can only see other Hashira. I think this is goodbye."

"Oh ... yes, you are right," his face turns into a sad one and you don't know what to do or say to make him feel better. "I am sorry about your neck ... for hurting you."

"No, it's alright. I actually wanted to thank you," you keep trying to look into his eyes but now he is avoiding eye contact by looking at the ground. "You saved me. This mark on my neck is just a small price to pay."

Rengoku has never been one to feel embarrassed. Nor afraid to speak his feelings but as he stands in front of you, he finds it difficult.

"I want to thank you too," he finally says, gathering the strength to look you in the eyes. "For seeing me. My heart."

You two haven't talked about what happened. About Rengoku holding you tightly in his arms, begging you to not leave this life. Or about how you find his heart to be the most beautiful thing about him. You feel your cheeks get hot, hopefully, he doesn't see this.

"I don't care what others think of me ... I am certain that I can continue fighting as long as I have you trusting the feelings in my heart," he says.

You abruptly turn around. Your back is now facing him, you didn't want Rengoku to see your evident blush. You were aware that Rengoku, who has genuine and pure feelings, did not mean anything romantic. But sometimes he speaks as if that was the case.

"You speak a little too passionately sometimes ... don't you think?" your voice trembles a little in embarrassment. "But I guess that is one of the things that make you special."

You sigh heavily, getting control of your emotions. Looking up at the sky, you notice how beautiful it is. You survived another day to see this. And you were thankful to Rengoku, that he took your life in his hands and took a risk. That he used the right you have him.

Rengoku gave you another opportunity to choose when your life ends.

"Hey, Rengoku ..."

He wishes that you could stop calling him by his last name and use his first name instead. But he couldn't pressure you. He will wait until you are ready to become closer.

"I don't know if I'll see you again but," you feel your throat go dry and you take a deep breath. Even when you are not seeing him directly, you know his eyes are on you.

And you already miss it. The beauty of his red eyes. You know you wouldn't be able to resist. You wanted to stay a little longer and the sentiment intensified the more you look at him.

"Remember, only you can decide when your life ends. Don't ever let anyone take that right away from you."

Rengoku hears you clearly. Your voice is almost begging to be remembered and he carves it into his mind. Your silhouette, your stance, your hair, your uniform, the tone in your voice. A core memory that he knows that he will remember until he breathes his last breath.

"Survive."

He knows he will see you again. Some way or another the universe will make your paths connect. He finds himself missing you already. His heart feels heavy and he is overwhelmed with feelings he doesn't understand yet. Maybe the next time he sees you, he will be able to figure out this new side of him.

Until the time to see you again comes ... he has to keep on living.

Arc 1: The Demon of the 100 Faces

End

You can read more in AO3 (5 Arcs Completed):>>> Here <<<

A/N:

A/N: Was this cringe enough? I very much dislike writing 'x reader' stories for the fact that I am unable to write about the character as much as I would like to. I prefer to write OCs. Regardless, this is the first and last chapter I am writing for this story. This is an idea that came after I watched Demon Slayer Season 3 (I've only watched the anime so if I get anything wrong in this story, sorry about that). I have many ideas on how to continue this but I don't think anyone would be interested in reading more. I wrote this mostly because I wanted to let it out of my system before I continue to write my other stories.

Anyways, it was really fun! Rengoku is a character I enjoy writing about because he is actually complicated. I wanted to show the positive Rengoku everyone loves as well to show that he is a very humane character that can feel other emotions. It was definitely a challenge, so I hope I wrote his character 'decently'.

This is an 18k slow-burn fanfic! So to whoever reached this far, I want to thank you! I appreciate every comment and like I receive. It really motivates me to continue writing.

Anyways, this is my gift to the Rengoku fandom. I do hope you enjoy it.

Maybe one day I'll write more. Maybe soon. Maybe not.

Update: I did end up writing more.

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amysubmits · 5 months

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Hi Amy! I just found your blog and really wanted to talk to you if you've got time but I got nervous so here's an anon. So I'm in my very early twenties and in the last few years have been really interested and taken by the idea of d/s dynamics. I don't have a boyfriend and am not really comfortable signing up to any sites so that's not really the issue. But as I'm going on dates and stuff I do find myself looking for that character that would resemble a dominant guy. I didn't realize it but I am attracted to that energy. What I'm concerned about though is the reason...for that attraction. So I'm in drama school but we can't really afford it so I have 2 part time jobs rn. One is this modeling agency that sometimes gets me by. It doest do much in my country but once a month a few hundred if im lucky, do come in handy. The issue is that the people I'm around and the environment is very toxic. Not just in a photoshoot but mainly. I've had to shut my mouth and smile and "submit" to guys just to remain part of the project. I don't feel comfortable doing more provocative stuff so that's been an issue and my manager keeps pressuring me about it at every opportunity. The relationship w him is weird he's a nice guy in general but sometimes he's too pushy. I also had a bf in the past (the only one) we were together briefly but he ordered me around a lot, and we never talked ab any of this but he was very strict with what I wore ect. What I'm trying to say is, I've had very traumatic experiences w all these people and am really worried whether the dynamic between us pushed me to want it? Like if my desires are somehow influenced by my trauma? Have you had similar concerns? How did you realize this is what you wanted and that it is not a response to something? I hope you're comfortable answering, but if not thank you for what you're doing your page has been really informative and I've learnt a lot xxxxx

Hi there!

I would be happy for you to message me if you decide you feel comfortable at any point, but anons are okay too! It's a big part of why I leave them on, for people who feel comfortable sending asks but not asking questions or whatever on DM. :)

This worry you're sharing about wondering if your desire to be a sub or be submissive comes from your trauma is something that I think a ton of subs have considered or worried about at some point. You'll definitely get a different answer to these questions if you ask other people. In my view, this is one of those areas where the 'right' answer can vary from person to person. So, this is just my take of course.

I am trying to avoid writing an extremely long post, so if you want or need me to elaborate feel free to follow up. But in a nutshell...I think most people have "little t trauma" from childhood that caused them to adapt to try to find connection and feel safe (physically or emotionally) and loved from a SUPER young age, to the point where it's challenging to know what it even would mean for a lot of us to say X is me, but Y is my trauma. Like 50% of the population has an insecure attachment style, and that primarily develops in the first year of our lives. So then we're still babies but we're already trying to change our own behavior to feel connected to our mother or our primary care giver. When that's the case...I think it's really, really tough to know who or what you would have been without the trauma as it's baked into your personality and coping methods SO early that we can't remember anything else. And so...I guess my goal has been to try to do a combination of accepting myself while also looking as honestly as I can at who/how I am now and look to change anything that I want to change or think needs improved. And with that in mind...I couldn't begin to tell you if I'd be a sub sexually or personality wise if I didn't have trauma. I just think that's an impossible question to try to figure out. Instead, I try to look at whether what I crave is healthy. If what I want to do is healthy for me, then it's okay if it IS based in trauma. I mean, plenty of things can be caused by trauma but still be really good things. For example, I feel pretty confident that the reason I seek healthy, safe feeling communication with my partner is because I grew up with lots of yelling and conflict and meanness. But I think that desire to have healthy, loving, safe communication is a good thing so I don't feel the need to reject that desire I have, as it's good, regardless of the cause being 'negative' or sad. I've come to the conclusion that D/s and BDSM can be healthy things for me. That isn't to say that I think I could do anything I wanted and call it D/s or BDSM and have it be healthy. But I think that a lot of what I desire sexually and within my relationship is healthy, and I embrace those things. And when I find myself craving something that is less healthy, I try to avoid embracing those ideas, or avoid acting out those fantasies, or resist those behaviors. For me, one thing I have to fight against is the instinct to be extremely passive. Passive feels safe to me because of my trauma, and I can sometimes incorrectly convince myself that I am being a good sub by being passive. That isn't always true, so I have to really keep an eye on any passivity and make sure that I am truly submitting from a place of desire and choice, and not from a place of it 'feeling good' because my brain is telling me that inactivity to appease others is safe and familiar. We try to regularly re-look at the things we do and ask ourselves again if all the details of how we're managing our D/s and BDSM are healthy for both of us. We try to ask if we're reinforcing healthy ideas or unhealthy ideas. Sometimes it changes over time and we have to adjust.

With you being new and young, I'd also suggest that you try to be extremely careful with what you learn about D/s and BDSM, and triple check that it's healthy. Some people will claim that literally anything done in the name of kink is healthy as long as it's consensual. I think that is a really wild viewpoint, personally. I think consent is really the absolute bare minimum, but a lot of people will consent to things that are harmful to them emotionally, and I think that is unhealthy. Of course, what is unhealthy is extremely opinion based, and I think it also can vary a lot from person to person...something could be unhealthy for me to consent to but perfectly healthy for you to consent to if we have different life experiences, different traumas, etc. At a really basic level I'd suggest looking really closely at whether D/s and BDSM make you feel good in terms of things like...confident, loved, empowered, authentic, loved, safe, secure, etc - or if it feels outright bad, or 'good' but only in the sense that feeling bad feels somewhat good to you (this is true for some with trauma), or if it makes you feel small, inferior, used, scared, insecure, etc. And then also if/when you get into a D/s relationship look at whether the things you try seem to be inspiring positive changes and growth, or negative patterns. Maybe at first you happily agree to let your dom decide whether or when to cut your hair, but over time you realize that you feel less 'yourself' when you can't control your own hairstyle fully. If that becomes the case, then in my opinion, it would be healthier to go back to deciding your own hair.

Sorry this is so long. I hope it's helpful in some way. Good luck to you, please continue to look out for yourself! It can be a scary world out there for young subs. It sounds like you're doing a good job of trying to look out for yourself though...even in wanting to figure out what your answer to the questions you sent in this ask are. So, good work. :)

#asks #d/s

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yerbamansa · 3 months

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Writing Patterns - First & Last Sentences

Tagged by @thetragicallynerdy - thanks for the tag! This was fun! You got me to make a tumblr post for the first time in a thousand years!

Editing to add @petrichorca for tagging me in the first part of the game - consider yourself tagged back for corresponding last lines?

I’m just combining two things because that seems handy.

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! Then list the last line of the same 10 fics you shared opening lines for and see if there's a pattern!

1. the secret middle-aged sad-sack mostly bad vibes I can sing along to playlist

First: Some things don’t change.

Last (most recent): Why the fuck, then, do they start sobbing?

2. the way things are going

First: Since things started falling apart, Oluwande learned the hard way to be careful about who to trust.

Last (most recent): Once he got it open, he read aloud: “‘Dear community and/or individuals, my name is Stede Bonnet…’”

3. Welcome to Jeff’s Inn by the Sea | Innkeeper Roleplay ASMR | Personal Attention | Realistic | Soft Spoken Male Voice

First: When Stede Bonnet’s boyfriend casually mentioned wanting to try making ASMR videos, he was all in.

Last: “I’ll have to think about that one, dearest,” he decided.

4. Rock On To The Oceanside

First: Ed Teach wasn’t built for sitting idle.

Last (most recent): And Ed felt ready.

5. Plus Ones

First: “So how did you two meet?”

Last: “Probably even better luck if we do it again.”

6. you can move in light divine

First: Oluwande had always loved Jim, probably from the moment they met.

Last: So many more conversations to come.

7. due to a controllable irregularity

First: It had been a good week, but Stede was looking forward to going home.

Last: He’d tell him. Soon.

8. an atypical emotional response to common sounds

First: Stede Bonnet had a complicated relationship with sounds.

Last: Stede couldn’t wait for Saturday.

9. Stede has started shopping for your order

First: “Your GetMeGroceries shopper Stede has arrived at Jenkins Market!” the app informed Ed.

Last: For the moment, however, he had far more compelling priorities.

10. I Think I See The Light

First: Jackie’s traded her usual vivid reds for somber black, but she still looks every bit the part of the intimidating pirate queen.

Last: And they start humming a now-familiar tune as they scan the docks for a recognizable face: If you want to sing out, sing out…

NB: skipped one that’s a mostly abandoned group collab smau because that doesn’t seem indicative of my style, and there’s one here that needed the preceding sentence because otherwise it’s just one word.

Hmmm, so, self-analysis: I start with some kind of place-setting thesis statement. Sometimes it’s maybe a little in medias res, but not usually, I guess. The POV character is named more often than not. And I end on the edge of some kind of decision or change. That’s by design—I don’t like writing pat endings and happily ever afters (even if they are pretty happy). This is especially true for mid-fic chapters, I suppose, but it’s definitely how I approach endings in general! (There’s one fic I can think of that has a final sentence I fucking hate for reasons related to this but I don’t wanna go rewrite it because I am not sure what to change it to, and I’m really quite pleased with the rest of the fic!)

One thing that strikes me is that I can’t really tell from any of these firsts and lasts whether the fic is more funny or serious. It’s just a lot of interior monologue, really.I’m not sure if there’s anything here I specifically want to work on. Maybe experimenting more with diving right into the action?

ANYHOO. If you see this because you're still actually looking at your tumblr dash regularly (sorry sorry) and you wanna play, please do!! I won't stumble out of the woodwork and tag but I love you all ok byeee

#tag game #ofmd fanfic #my stuff #oh hi i'm still alive!

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miracles-and-butterflies · 1 year

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For @time-for-a-grandkid-round-up, based on the prompt: “camilo cheering up his family.”

I’m only going to do one person as doing everyone would take forever. And as Camilo cheering up his (side of the) family is a little overdone at this point, I’m going with his favourite cousin. Enjoy!

~~~~~~

Throwing Away the Dry Petals

“I win.” Dolores exclaimed, placing down her ace card.

Camilo groaned. “You win every time. You’re clearly cheating.”

“I’m better and smarter than you, Camilo, that’s hardly cheating. You can’t be mad just because I wasn’t dropped as a baby.” She said.

“Hey! I wasn’t dropped as a baby! Tío Bruno caught me! He just let go for a little…” Camilo trailed off. “Besides, Tía Julieta would’ve healed me. I’m her favourite.”

“You’re nobody’s favourite. You’re a pain.”

“Not true! It’s Mirabel whose nobody’s favourite.”

Casita’s front doors swing open almost hitting both the siblings as Isabela storms through, barely noticing them at all.

Dolores is unfazed, she no doubt heard Isabela coming. She doesn’t even flinch. And Camilo would be lying if he said he wasn’t amazed by how well his sister can keep herself so poker face, even when she hears everything. And almost got hit by a door.

“Hey, Bela! You wanna play with us?” Camilo asked.

There’s no response. Isabela just continued walking away.

“Isabela? Hello? You okay?”

Still nothing. Though, to be fair, she’s probably go far down the path to town to hear him now.

“What’s wrong with her?” He turned to his sister. Her gift was annoying most of the time, but it did mean she knew everything about everyone and it came in handy.

“Ramona broke up with her last night.”

Camilo was speechless.

“Isabela, Isabela Madrigal, was broken up with? But she’s always the one that breaks up a relationship!”

“Exactly,” Dolores said, dealing the cards. “She’s been distant all morning. I don’t think she’s slept either.”

“I really liked Mona. She use to give me and Toñito sweets.”

“Isabela did too.”

“But… why? Things were going well, right? It wasn’t like Viviana, who just flirted with Luisa the whole time, right? Or Sola, the one who just wanted to date a Madrigal? Or—” Camilo cut himself off with a gasp. “Tell me it wasn’t like Gabriela who didn’t like cacti.”

Dolores sighed. “No, it wasn’t like Gabriela. Gracias a Dios, ella no quería tener que lidiar con eso otra vez. Well… Ramona didn’t really give a reason. Just something about Isabela not meeting expectation.”

“Sounds like something Abuela would say.”

“Why do you think Isabela has been acting this way?”

Camilo stood up.

“Wait, where are you going? Don’t you want to play?” Dolores inquired.

“I’m gonna cheer up our cousin,” he answered, determinedly.

“If it’s egging Mariano’s house again, I swear to God I will tell Abuela—”

Her statement fell on deaf ears as Camilo was already sprinting away and laughing at the thought. It was always a good idea and it did always brighten Isabela’s day.

However, he really doesn’t wanna have to deal with Abuela or his parents making him clean the entire Guzmán house again. That thing is huge!

They always could throw eggs at Ramona’s house. Or anyone of her other exes. They could plant cacti outside of Gabriela’s. But he suddenly had a different idea in mind as he began searching for her in town, amongst all the chaos and people.

Camilo found Isabela sat by herself on a bench, staring off into the distance.

She watching a group of young adults, laughing and having together - though Isabela didn’t seem to be looking at them at all. Rather staring straight through them.

“Hey, Isabela? You doing anything?”

It took a moment, but Isabela did turn to him. Shaking her head, as though she’d been pulled from some vision like Bruno.

“What do you want, Camilo?” Isabela asked, not sounding angry but not friendly either.

“You know Eduardo Rodriguez? My age, plays football? Anyways, his older brother, Miguel, is getting married today.” He said.

Isabela blinked. “Um, congratulations? What does this have to do with me?”

“I promised Eduardo that I would go to the reception with Dolores, but she has a date with stupid Mariano and I don’t wanna go alone. So I was wondering if you wanted to go to La Hora Loca with me?”

His cousin didn’t immediately reject the idea, even looked to be considering it. A wedding wasn’t Isabela’s ideal way to get over a break up.

However, Camilo was nodding his head eagerly and encouragingly that she couldn’t bring herself to disappoint him again. Why Dolores didn’t just take Mariano to the wedding, she didn’t know - wouldn’t a wedding be a better date than dinner with the family? Never mind, this would be a distraction for Isabela and it wasn’t like she had any plans of her own.

“Okay, I’ll go. But you better change. You’ve split something on your ruana.”

“What? You of all people can’t seriously be complaining about stains! Have you seen your dress? It’s covered in who knows what!”

“Alright, I’ll change too.”

Camilo smiled, satisfied. He was going to get his cousin to smile too before the night was over. Isabela got up and grabbed him by the shoulder as he turned to walk.

“Insult my dress again and I will plant belladonna in your stomach.”

“Noted.”

~~~~~~

An hour or so later, having changed several times over based on the other’s complaints, they finally arrived at the wedding reception of Miguel and Vanessa Rodriguez.

The lateness was definitely the fault of them both considering themselves style experts.

It was times like this that made Isabela realise how many people were in Encanto and how few she actually knew. There were a few faces she recognised but she couldn’t associate them with any name or memory. While Camilo was effortlessly smiling and waving as he pulled her through the crowds of people.

He hadn’t really conversed with anyone though or even congratulated the bride and groom, but she didn’t really think about it. There was plenty of time for that.

Camilo was distracting her with a story of the last wedding he had attended - an old school friend of Félix’s. An event he ruined by sneaking off into the kitchen and eating the entire cake.

They’d been laughing and drinking for almost two hours at the bar when Isabela hopped out of her chair and extended a hand to him.

“Right, let’s go. We’re not sidelining this party, we aren’t Mirabel. Introduce me to Eduardo and the rest of your friends or the random people you know here from babysitting.”

“I don’t know ‘em. We’re crashing.”

Isabela stumbled backwards a little. From shock, not the cocktails she’d been enjoying.

“You don’t know anyone? I thought you knew Eduardo. You said he’s your age and plays football.” Isabela demanded, whispering.

“Yeah, he’s in my class and on the other football team, but I don’t know him.” Camilo shrugged in response.

Isabela raised an eyebrow. Then she snickered. “That’s a lie. You’re just trying to piss me off.” But Camilo’s signature smirk, usually one given to Dolores, made its appearance. And Isabela paled.

He wasn’t joking. He had invited her to a stranger’s wedding.

She quickly started downing a series of shots that some other guest had ordered and regrettably left unattended.

Camilo was all but losing it, clearly enjoying himself. Though he did lean over and say, “We can leave whenever. Just have fun and relax. What’s wrong with your cousin trying to cheer you up?”

Though Isabela wasn’t yet drunk enough to completely abandon her moral compass, she grabbed Camilo’s hand - a little tighter than necessary - and dragged him to the dance floor.

They weren’t hurting anyone or ruining anything. They were having fun. And goddam, they were good drinks.

So as long as they kept to themselves and nobody caught on, it was okay.

For the next few hours, the pair danced and definitely outshined everyone in the process. Pepa was an excellent teacher.

They took breaks every so often to return to the bar - Camilo did keep Isabela from getting herself totally drunk, which was just as challenging as Dolores complained it was. Though Isabela’s alcohol tolerance was impressive. In turn, Isabela did her best to keep Camilo from drinking alcohol altogether.

They partook in the snacks and cake, and even several photographs. Quickly heading to the bathroom when someone started to question them.

It wasn’t until Camilo ended up chatting with the groom himself that their plan had totally fallen apart.

“You must be a friend of Vanessa’s, how did you meet?” Miguel had asked, innocent enough.

“I’m not. I don’t know her at all.”

Camilo hadn’t meant to say that. He might have been able to save himself, claiming he was someone else’s child, but the way he flushed red and his eyes widened with guilt, there was no chance.

Meanwhile, Isabela had found herself chatting with the younger sister to the bride, Elena.

So when Camilo suddenly sprint by and pulled her away by the hand, she was confused but not particularly surprised. It didn’t take long before she matched his pace and they ran out the building, with several angry family members chasing after them.

They continued running until there was no sound of footsteps and shouting, and they were safely hiding in nature. They stumbled along a clearing overlooking their town under the moonlight.

For a few moments, they were just panting and laugh every time they caught each other’s eyes.

“We got kicked out of a stranger’s wedding,” she wheezed.

“And we had fun while doing it,” Camilo retorted. “Don’t tell the adults though.” He added, just to be sure.

“Why?”

“Why? So we don’t get in trouble?”

“No, I mean, why did you take me? You could have taken one of your actual friends.”

“Because you were upset and I wanted to cheer you up. Dolores told me about Ramona.” He admitted, gently. “You wanna talk about it?”

Isabela just returned to being distant at the mention of her ex-girlfriend. She had almost forgotten about her. The memories of last night resurfacing as she watches the stars.

Ramona had liked stars, was planning to go study them abroad. Isabela had ransacked her Abuelo Sancho’s collection of books to find some about constellations and astrology to impress Ramona with facts and things, and it had worked.

But she hadn’t changed or hidden any part of herself. Ramona was dating the Isabela she had always known.

Which is what made the comment about her not meeting expectations rough. They hadn’t discussed any expectations for each other - relationships didn’t require them. So how on earth did Isabela fail to meet something that didn’t exist?

Fuck. Dating Mariano was simpler than this. At least Isabela knew where she was screwing up: hiding herself.

She gasped when Camilo threw himself into her arms in a hug. Immediately, she pulled him tighter.

“What’s this for?” She asked.

“For you, duh.” He mumbled. Camilo was trying not to cry, laughing as a cover. “Fuck Ramona. It’s her loss, you’re brilliant. And you don’t deserve to be sad because she’s a loser.”

“Poetic.” Isabela said, sarcastically.

“I try,” Camilo flipped his hair dramatically. “I mean it. Fuck Ramona and her expectations, whatever they were. You don’t have to meet expectations. Expectations are just stupid. You’re you and you’re amazing. You’re one of my closest friends and role models—”

“That’s concerning.”

“Stop making me laugh. You’re ruining the moment.”

“Can’t help it.”

“I’m trying to be serious right now.”

“Good luck with that.”

He almost laughed, genuinely, that time. But he wasn’t going to let himself be distracted - this was too important. For good measure, he put a hand over Isabela’s mouth. She was smirking underneath; he could feel it.

“I know things about perfect expectations are still kinda hard for you, but don’t let this one idiot bring you down. Ramona doesn’t know you like we, I, do. There’s nothing about you, on the inside or outside, that needs changing or hiding, just because some random decides it’s not good enough for them.”

Under his hand, there’s a muffled, “There’s nothing wrong with my outside. I’m gorgeous.”

“Great! So apply that same logic and confidence to your inside. You can’t really believe that someone knows how you should act better than you do. Trust me, I’m an actor.”

“I can’t. It’s different.”

“Why’s that?” Camilo asked, removing his hand. Isabela was no longer smiling. He wasn’t asking to catch her out or tell her she’s wrong, but just willing to offer an ear— God, he’s more of Dolores’ brother than he realises, isn’t he?

“I don’t know. It just is…” she shrugs a little. “My inside was the part I changed, the part I believed was wrong. People are forming real connections because they like or dislike me, not my appearance. I’m not bothered…” she sighed, turning away. “We were doing so well and it just came out of nowhere. Mona couldn’t even give a reason. If it’s something I’ve done, how am I suppose to fix it for my next partner?”

Camilo nodded in understanding.

He couldn’t relate to his cousin, but what she was saying made sense. He could see why it upset her and why she blamed herself.

“You can’t,” he said. “You can’t fix it. Someone will come along and maybe they will like you or maybe they won’t. Not everyone likes everyone. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. If you had then Ramona would have an actual reason to break up, right?”

“I guess.”

“So whatever it is, it’s on her and it’s out of your control.”

Isabela nodded. She smiled a bit.

“Do you feel any better?” Camilo asked. Admittedly, a little hesitant.

She snorted. And for a minute, she looked like she was about to say no. Then she softened, “Yeah, I do. Thank you, Camilo.”

“Good, I’m glad,” he said. “It’s my job to make people happy, but I care about you. So it’s from a place of love, not work, okay? But, uh… Did you have fun tonight? Or last night? I’m not sure what the time is.”

From the grin covering Isabela’s face, he could already guess the answer, but being pulled back into a hug was the real confirmation.

“The most fun I’ve had in years.”

An idea crept into Camilo’s head, just as they started making their way back home.

“Hey, are you tired yet?” Camilo asked. He stopped and Isabela looked at him, strangely. “I’m not tired and I’ve got an idea how we can make this night even better.”

“I’m listening.”

When the pair awoke the next morning, they were instantly questioned by the adults of why they had been out so late and why there were several angry townspeople waiting outside Casita. They shrugged it off and laughed, claiming they had no idea. Ultimately, nobody worked out it was specifically them who had crashed the wedding. But the town was ripe with gossip about two infamous wedding rashers, and Dolores seemed to be suspiciously glancing their way.

And, well, watching Ramona clean eggshells off her roof was just the icing of the cake.

#encanto #ask me anything #my writing #camilo madrigal #isabela madrigal #dolores madrigal #mariano guzmán #alma madrigal #bruno madrigal #julieta madrigal #pepa madrigal #mirabel madrigal #madrigal family #félix madrigal

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hopefulfuturenovelauthor · 2 years

Text

A Reunion

Request: Daryl will reunite with my oc in the apocalypse after not seeing each other for years the last time was before she ran away from home from her abusive parents. They were the best of friends they save each other form their abusive parents.

I’m so sorry this took so long and that it is kind of shitty at parts. Life has been a roller coaster this entire year. I started this and then had to come back to it which was difficult and I think you can tell in my writing, but I hope you like at least some part of this.

warning: swearing, violence, abuse, neglect, possibly triggering, canon typical violence, canon typical language.

Growing up in Georgia was fine for me. There were good and bad parts to it, which is an indisputable fact. I had good friends, bad parents; good classes, bad grades; bad food, good hunting skills; and bad people skills, but one damn good best friend.

That was the past though. Now all I got is a small group, traveling north, avoiding the rotters. They ain’t anything special really. They’re all decent people, decent people get dead pretty quick though. They are only alive cause of me. Those lucky little shits would’ve starved to death if not for me.

I can hunt, scavage, kill, whatever the hell kind of survival skill is needed. I do so fairly effortlessly, but I haven’t always been so great at this sort of stuff.

I learned from the best damn shot I’ve ever known. And by shot, I don’t mean from a gun. Nah, those things are far too loud for this day and age.

“Everybody, quiet,” I whispered to my group, slowing down to determine the damn dead thing’s location. I raised my bow and shot at it’s damn head.

“Nice shot,” Edward praised, looking at my handy work.

“Yeah, yeah. Grab the bolt while I reload.” I set up the crossbow again, preparing for more of the dead to come our way.

“We need to find shelter,” Alice pointed out the obvious, “we have maybe one more hour of daylight.”

“There’s this little house Ed and I scouted out earlier, it should work for the night,” Louise suggested.

Edward handed me my bolt and we all continued on our way toward the little house.

We made it before the sun started to fade. Alice heated up some canned soup the group had found under some rubble and handed it out to everyone.

Stephen and Chrissy got the most food, both were still kids that needed the nutrients to grow. Louise got the next largest serving as she is the oldest. Alice, Ed, and I had the least amount out of the group, but it was still a nice bowl full, and we all enjoyed it.

The kids always went to bed first, before one of us adults even thought about closing our eyes. Chrissy was 13 and Stephen was 17. Sometimes we let him help with watch, but most of the time we made sure he stayed with his sister.

“Can we share stories before bed?” Chrissy asked. She always liked hearing about our lives, even the most mundane of things kept her happy, which makes sense based on how we live now.

“Sure thing, sweetheart,” Ed replied. I’ll be honest, I’d never known a better parent in my life. He and Alice were real good with their children, especially since Alice wasn’t even Stephen’s real mom. His dad got remarried after his mum died. They were good to their kids. Hell, they let Louise and me stick around and they barely knew us at first. Louise was the pesky old lady down the street, and I was just their non-talkative closed-off neighbor.

Only let us stick around at first cause Louise was old and I’d saved their lives. Now though, I couldn’t think of being anywhere without them. Especially after we lost Matt, that damn idiot put himself in harm's way with a couple of dickhead humans. The idiot couldn’t even fight. We all miss him though, saved the whole lot of us.

“Who’s turn is it this time?” Alice asked.

“It’s miss Y/n’s,” Chrissy jumped up and down from her seat on the floor.

“Well you're right it is,” I said back, smiling at the girl, “but you remember what I said, right kiddo? You can call me just Y/n, the miss isn’t necessary.”

“Okay, Y/n. Can you tell us a story?” She was so sweet I couldn’t help but nod and smile.

“Sure thing kiddo. But what to tell, what to tell. How about a little tale from my childhood, how about that?” The little girl smiled more.

“Okay, well, let's see. I was about your age, 13 soon to be going on 14. I was a stubborn little kid. I never wanted to be stuck inside.” Especially at my home with my parents. “You see I loved the outdoors, it was so freeing, and it was my favorite place to hang out with my best friend.” Daryl Dixon. “Now, my best friend was so interesting, he was the bravest and coolest person I knew. In fact, he taught me how to use that bow over there. I never liked it that much, I much more preferred a bow and arrow to a crossbow, but he loved it with all his heart. He liked to use it to hunt, just like I do for us. He also made the best squirrel stew.

“There was this one day that I had gone out into the woods alone, I just wanted to run around and climb trees. I ended up seeing my best friend on my adventure through the woods. He blamed me for scaring away all the animals with my loud chaotic running. I said sorry and then asked him if he wanted to jump across the creek. He joined me, of course, and we jumped back and forth on the rocks. We did this for hours. Silly me though, jumped and slipped into the water. I stood up, but could barely walk because I twisted my ankle. I was freezing from the water too. My best friend helped me back home though and let me use him as a crutch. It was nice of him to make sure I was okay, but the water had left me so cold that I ended up getting sick for the next couple of days. Thankfully though, I got better in a couple of days and went right back out to the woods to play by the creek. Never sprained my ankle there again though, I learned from the last time.”

Chrissy had already fallen asleep on her brother who looked just about ready to pass out too. I looked over at their parents and offered to take the first watch. They accepted and said thank you with kind smiles. I sat outside on the house's porch and kept lookout for a few hours.

Story time was always great, I loved that it comforted the kids so much, but it was difficult to come up with stories and memories that were okay for them to hear. I ran out of those long before I ever told them that story and most of my others. Eventually, I just came to the conclusion that I would leave out the sad and bitter parts. I didn’t mention that Daryl went hunting because his dad was a drunk that barely worked and his mom died when he was young. I didn’t tell them that my mom had slapped me and thrown me into a wall by my hair when she saw me dripping in the living room with a swollen ankle. My face was yellow for days, one of the main reasons I stayed home from school. My dad wasn’t too awful, it was more the things he said and what he let happen that made him a terrible father. My mom was the one that resorted to physical violence as parenting. My dad just didn’t fucking parent. Hell, he was never fucking there, always somewhere else with another woman by his side.

My inner monologue was paused when I looked up at the sky. I had definitely done at least an extra hour of watch. I got up and woke up Ed, letting him know it was his turn. I decided to turn in, attempting to get a good night's sleep. I never can, it's either nightmares with zombies or nightmares with parents.

***

We made our way further north up along the east coast. We had thought it would make more sense to head more up north in the summer and head back down south in the winter. We lived day by day, with nowhere to stay and no exact location to go. The green vegetation was nice and all. The days were cooler than in the south. We happily enjoyed basking in the sun with the slight breeze. We hopped house to house searching for any leftover goods and resources.

We found one house that for the most part was untouched. Setting up camp we thought sticking around for a couple of days would be good. As we thought, it was. Day one was easy. Day two was nice. Day three was good.

Day four had a speed bump. They had appeared out of nowhere. The hoard came down the street dragging their feet. The grunts and grumbles of the group had all of us staying silent. We hid from windows and blocked as many doors as we could. The adults had their guns raised and the kids kept their weapons close. I had my crossbow ready to shoot anything that came too close.

None of us had suspected the back door to slam open. It was so loud and so sudden we all jumped at the bang.

***

Bang!

The door flung open as my mother dragged our things to her car. She screamed and cried at my drunken father. She had caught him again. It seemed this time she had enough. He stood in the doorway trying to calm her down, but she wouldn’t have it. She was hysterical.

I tried to stop her, but she chucked my small suitcase at me. I stumbled back as I caught it.

“Get in the car, Y/n,” She said. My mother looked back at me standing still, unmoving, “Get in the damn car, Y/n. I ain’t saying that shit again, get in the damn car!”

I scurried over to the trunk, hurriedly putting my things in.

“Y/n?” I turned around. Daryl stood right behind me, his eyes broken and concerned. He reached out to wipe some of the tears I hadn’t even realized I had shed. It was like I flinched away. It wasn’t that I was scared, I was overwhelmed. My body was on overdrive and seemed to have broken down. “Y/n,” Daryl stepped forward again. I retreated again, escaping his touch.

“Please don’t,” I begged.

“Y/n, you don’t got to do nothin. You don’t got to go with her,” he tried to assure me.

“Daryl, it won’t change anything,” I told him.

“Of course, it will,” he said, “You just got to fight this.”

“Daryl, no matter what I do she’ll get custody. My dads a drunk that sleeps with other women. The case will be over before it’s even started.”

“You're 17 Y/n. Fight to be your own adult.”

“Daryl, I don’t have the money or resources to do that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I broke down. He tried to bring me in, to comfort me but I just kept stepping back.

My mother grabbed me and pulled me towards the car. “Don’t you touch her!” Daryl yelled. My mother turned immediately, stepping in front of him.

“What the hell are you going to do about it?”

“She doesn’t want to go with you-“

“Shut up, you disgusting piece of trash. No Dixon kid is going to tell me what I can and can’t do with my daughter. Go run home to your drunk father and your high ass brother you piece of redneck shit.”

“Mom, please, please stop,” I cried more.

She pushed me to the car.

Daryl begged me to stop and to get out, but it was like I couldn’t hear. My ears were ringing and my vision was blurring.

My mother drove me away from the security of the home I once had. It didn’t take long for me to run away from her, but I certainly should have done it sooner. I should have ran from her that day.

***

The door was shut again and then a man ran into the room followed by two others. I moved the kids behind us to hide them from the newcomers who had yet to register us. I raised my bow at the man in front once he turned around, “who the fuck are you?”

“Wow, wow, hold on there. We aren’t here to hurt you.” He held up his hands, and the man and woman behind him did the same.

“Now that’s not what I asked,” I said before holding my bow up higher, “Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m Aaron, okay, I’m Aaron.”

I steadied my grip, “Okay, Aaron, you and your friends following us?”

“No, no, we were just doing a run, gathering supplies, that’s all.”

“Why should I believe you?” I asked.

“My bag. My bag has a list of what we came out here to get, I swear.”

“Take it off. And don’t open it or anything, just toss it on the ground.”

The man reached to remove his bag and dropped it in front of him with a thump.

“Hands back up,” I told him while Ed grabbed the bag. Ed opened it up revealing a bag of canned goods and the equivalent of an apocalypse grocery list.

“Where you from?” I asked.

“We can’t tell you that,” the woman said. She looked ready to attack if something went wrong or if I decided to shoot. She may not have been holding her weapon, but the sword on her back would certainly slaughter the group.

“Aaron, Michonne, let me handle this,” the man in the back tentatively took a step forward. “My name is Rick. Look, we have a community and food if you want some, but we have people waiting for us back at home. We don’t want any trouble, alright?”

“No, not alright. I still want to know why the hell you are here. There were plenty of houses on this street. I’m not one to believe in god damn coincidences, so why the fuck were you following us?”

“We swear, we didn’t know you were here. This one just seemed safest. The doors were locked and the windows were shut and covered,” Rick explained.

“Mommy, are they going to hurt us?” Chrissy asked. I stiffened up while Rick and his group faltered.

“We don’t know sweetheart,” Alice replied, “just stay behind us.”

“You, you have kids with you?” Rick asked.

Suddenly defensive again you stepped closer to the man readjusting your aim, “yeah we do, so don’t think I won’t shoot you if I find it goddamn necessary.”

“How many walkers have you killed?” He asked.

“Excuse me?” I questioned.

“Rick-“ the woman seemed to be trying to stop him.

“How many zombies have you killed?” Aaron spoke.

I fell back a little, barely lowering my bow, “this is initiation, isn’t it? We answer your questions, you think of letting us in right?”

“Yes,” Rick nodded.

“How safe is your community?” I asked while looking back at my group.

“We have walls surrounding the houses we stay at,” Aaron offered.

“How much food you got typically?”

“Enough to feed everyone if we keep searching and farming,” Rick responded.

“You got kids at this place?”

“Yes,” Rick said.

“More than I can count,” I replied.

“What?” Rick questioned.

“Zombies, I’ve killed more than I can count.”

***

We all sat inside, eating some of what we could. It was night, but everyone was reluctant to sleep. Chrissy was the only one of us that felt safe enough to do so.

“How long have you guys been traveling together?” Rick asked.

“Basically from the start,” I replied, glancing at our group, “we don’t really let people in. It’s dangerous.”

Michonne nodded, “yeah, but it’s nice when it works out. Rick let me in even when I showed up and Aaron let us in when we made our way around here.”

“Yeah, we had one person join us. He died though. He was a good guy and a good friend,” I said.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Aaron responded.

“It’s fine, can’t keep thinking back to that. You guys a got a lot of people I’m guessing if you got walls and all?”

“Yeah, quite a bit,” Aaron chuckled, “even have a hot-headed archer like you.”

“He’s not wrong,” Rick smiled.

“Nah, I ain’t hot-headed, just protective.”

“He is too,” Michonne commented.

“You good with that thing?” Rick asked.

“Yeah, been using it most my life,” I told him.

“Good, we could use more hunters,” he said back.

“I’ll help any way I can.”

***

An hour after the sun came up we started our walk to their community, Alexandria. A unique name for a unique place. It wasn’t too far from the house we had squatted in the night before. The others in my group even became a little more comfortable with the group we had met just the day before. Alice and Ed, with Chrissy stuck between them, talked to Rick more than the other two because he also had a kid back at the community. Louise remained next to Aaron asking him questions about housing and the people there. Stephan and I walked together with Michonne. We talked simply about weapons and the defenses of the people in the town. I even asked if there was a classic bow at the weapons facility, explaining that it was my preferred weapon of choice.

It was mid-afternoon by the time we reached the walls of Alexandria. Rick and Michone walked in front while Aaron stayed in the back with us. They let us in easily. Others at the gate even came down to welcome us to the community. A woman named Rosa made her way to welcome us. The others happily smiled and conversed with the others, but I remained behind scouting out the area that was deemed safe. Sadly, with the life I have lived I always thought of something so spectacular as too good to be true.

More people came over to introduce themselves. It allowed others to give their introductions.

“Rick, you get the medicine?” A gruff voice just too familiar made my heart soar and then sink all in the same moment.

“Yeah, I got the pain killers and cold medicine should be enough good enough to keep us stocked till the end of winter.”

I stepped to the side to look at who Rick was speaking to. He looked different of course. The apocalypse had changed him, but at the same time he looked more like himself than he had ever before. I guess the biggest difference would be his hair which was now shoulder length.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered out, “Daryl.”

The archer looked toward me, his head turning faster than it did when he would hunt squirrels for me.

He breathed out my name, only staring. The second he took one step forward I moved quickly wrapping my arms around him.

“Holy shit, Daryl,” a few tears escaped my eyes as I pressed my face into his shoulder. Daryl wrapped his arms around me in return, reciprocating the hug.

“Y/n,” he mumbled into the fabric of my shirt as his hands grasped it. The hug we shared was one of desperate relief. I didn’t want to let go and it was clear that he felt the same.

It wasn’t until a little hand tugged at the hem of my shirt that I returned to what was going on around me. “Y/n,” Chrissy’s small voice pulled me out of focus which had been on Daryl.

Slowly I pulled myself away from the archer and kneeled down next to Chrissy. “Hey there little one,” I smiled kindly at the young girl.

“Is that him?” she asked with big round eyes.

“What do you mean sweetheart?”

“He’s the friend you had when you were a kid. He had a crossbow just like you said he did,” she pointed at the weapon Daryl hand strapped to his back.

“Oh um,” the little girl's perception was impressive and caught me off guard, “that’s my childhood best friend, Daryl Dixon.”

Edward and Alice both stepped forward and extended their hands to Daryl. Through all of this, both of them remained very civilized and polite people. I honestly found it impressive that they kept insisting their children be just as polite. Hell, I even made sure that they all knew when being polite wouldn’t help them in this life. “Hi Mr. Dixon, Y/n has told us so much about you,” Alice told him as he returned the handshake.

Daryl took Edward’s hand next and gave it a firm shake. “It’s true,” Edward chuckled and released Daryl’s hand. Edward turned to everyone and introduced our whole group. It was actually quite a shock to realize that Daryl seemed to talk about me with his group about as much as I talked about him with mine.

“You’re the oh so fantastic Y/n L/n?” Rosa asked with a teasing smirk on her face as she walked over to you, “he wasn’t exactly wrong when he described what you looked like, but you are definitely more badass than he led us to believe.”

“Yeah, I assure you that only has to do with the shitty circumstances of present day life.”

“I must say, you do not disappoint,” Rick joked, smiling my way as he clasped Daryl’s shoulder.

I laughed, and watched Daryl as his face remained tinted red. Of all people, I would know when Daryl Dixon could get a little flustered.

“You most certainly have a reputation to live up to,” Aaron added, “but I doubt that’ll be an issue for the incredible Y/n.”

“Wow, Dixon. You really talked me up, didn’t you?”

“Oh my god,” Rosa beamed, “Carol has to meet her.”

***

Settling into one of the many houses was pretty easy seeing as I didn’t have much with me anyway. We were able to find a house just big enough for our whole group. Well, I would be taking the couch till I was certain we were safe, but I wasn’t planning on leaving them all by themselves anytime soon.

Speaking of not leaving them, the group had accepted going to the welcome party for all of us. Though social situations aren’t my favorite, it would feel wrong not to keep an eye on my group and meet Daryl’s friends. According to the ones I had met, it was necessary for me to interact with Carol at some point tonight at the very least.

The party seemed fine, but it was never my thing. I didn’t care much for social gatherings. I never had, seeing as it was only ever me and Daryl. I escaped to the back deck with some lovely homemade alcohol in hand. It seemed that someone had noticed. Another person had joined me. She smiled slightly at me, like I was familiar to her but she didn’t want to scare me off.

“Hi, your Y/n, right?” she asked as if she already knew.

I nodded and smiled back, “you must be Carol.”

“Oh, yeah, I am,” she chuckled a bit, “this is honestly a little awkward, seeing as I know so much about you but you know so little about me.”

“Trust me, it’s fine, really. My group knows all about our favorite bowsman. The kids always loved to hear stories and the ones with Daryl were always a hit” I sipped from the glass I held loosely in my hand.

“Daryl would always tell stories about you too. He started telling them to Carl and Judith. But with time he spoke about you because he enjoyed it. He always shared funny little stories. He told a great one about that time you both tricked Merle and soaked him in mud.”

A genuine laugh escaped me, “I remember that, we stole the keys to his truck and splattered the shit all over him. God, he was so pissed. He made me wash his truck and made Daryl do his laundry for a week so that he wouldn’t tell. It was fucking worth it though.”

“You seem like a good person,” it was a sudden statement that caught me by surprise. She was assertive with her words, but it came out almost disappointed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned.

“I’m sorry, it’s just. Around all of them he shared all the good things, but,” she stopped for a moment, “but without the others around he shared the bad. He had nightmares consistently. He worried about you constantly. It was hard for me to see him holding on so hard to someone who had left.” She took a sip of her own drink.

I leaned back, “you wanted someone you could blame, someone to be angry at for hurting him, for haunting him.”

“Yes,” she admitted solemnly, “but I’ve heard about your group and how you take care of them-“

“We take care of each other.”

“Yes, I understand that, I just mean that you protect them, you provide for them, you keep them safe. They are a responsibility, and you care for them deeply, just like you care for Daryl.”

“I was 17. I was a kid. I didn’t know anything and I didn’t know any better. I didn’t just leave. You think I never wanted to escape. I had a bag packed, filled with water, crackers, cash, and clothes in the back of my closet when I was 12. My mom found it a year later. She asked me why I had it. I told her the truth and the next day I went to school with half of a swollen face and bruises. I asked Daryl to run away with me everyday for a year. Age 14 to 15 and he always said no. He stayed for Merle. I stayed for him. I lost all hope after that one year. I was desperate and alone. So I left and then immediately left her behind. I had to get out. He just didn’t want to come with.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” she seemed sincere enough.

“He didn’t know either. I mean, I grew up. I got to her size, but she was prepared. She could hurt me however she wanted because if I didn’t let her, if I didn’t listen to her she was going to destroy the Dixon’s. Merle kept selling drugs, even after probation. She knew what their dad did to them. Daryl would have been left with nothing. The second we left that town, she had no leverage over me anymore.”

“Daryl doesn’t know any of that, does he?” she seemed taken aback by the new information I had told her.

“Not unless my dad offered it up, which is highly doubtful.”

“You should tell him.”

“And say what? Not a day went by that I didn’t miss him. But I couldn’t go back,” I turned toward Carol, “you seem to be a genuinely good person as well. I just need time, and I think he does too.”

“Take all the time you need,” Carol placed her hand on my shoulder before returning to the party. I quickly drank the rest of my beverage and joined my group. They all smiled at my arrival while Daryl watched from the sidelines with an unreadable expression on his face.

#daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl imagines #twd #twd x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #rick grimes #michonne #twd carol

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