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#and i almost made a petty post about it but then thought better of it
torterragarden · 1 year
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lord help me I have started a new wip
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rainykoo · 10 months
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a pirates greed (m)
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[send me requests i like them]
masterpost : recent
pairing : afab!reader x monkey d. luffy
✸ ... synopsis: after saving an entire country, luffy just needs his favourite stress reliever all too himself
wc: 3.6k
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warnings : established relationship, porn w minimum plot, post-wano luffy being a whore !!! absolutely rough nasty nd animalistic, unprotected (cmon yall know better), petty argument, faded law, reader is a lil mean, your captain just loves eating you out! use of devil fruit (canon), creampie, drool kink, luffy has a lip ring, overstimulation, mention of blood, praise kink (both parties), cumplay, semi-public, oral (m rec)
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getting severe brain rot from just thinking about how needy and greedy luffy would be during a post-battle victory banquet...
especially after how nicely that black dress outlined your ass.
he just wants to put his hands all over you, but nami's banned him from any physically exerting activity, including dancing since he's still recovering from the damage he took.
poor guy almost begged to have himself buried in your sopping cunt, whimpering and gasping under you because he's been so stressed after all that fighting!
it's only right you help your boyfriend release all that pent-up energy right?
but to his dismay you were busy with traffy, his tattooed hands tracing over the thin fabric of your dress as you two danced.
"damn him." luffy chanted in his head continuously, wishing you'd stop focusing on law and pay attention to him instead.
your captain worked so hard to defeat kaido.. so why are you smiling and spending time with law instead? that's not fair. you should be rewarding luffy with your touch for being so strong all the time, no?
he couldn't even hear zoro's drunken babbling as he fixated his eyes on the two of you from his table. luffy thought it was too polite of you to let law touch you like that... way too polite. no longer able to deal with the ache in his shorts. though what made his heart palpitate the most was how the both of you seemed to be having a jolly fun time. he grazes his teeth over his lips, excusing himself from his best friend before stumbling towards the dance floor to reach you and law.
"actually i already rolled some spliffs, we can go outside n hit some right now if you'd like," law said with a deep chuckle, gazing at you with his half-lidded eyes. "go do that with your side, look he's starin' at you as i speak." you joke, nodding your head in the direction of kidd as law harshly exhales, rolling his eyes."fffucking hell will you drop that? i was zooted outta my mind when i said.." your conversation gets cut short when you feel pair of hands other than law's snake around your waist from behind.
you momentarily freeze— only to find relief when you hear luffy's voice. he's clinging onto you, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck. the threads of his strawhat slightly bent against your skin as luffy pressed himself closer; hiding the stony expression on his face. “(name).. you've been dancin' with traffy the whole time. it's annoying.” luffy whined against your earlobe. your captain continued to press and grind his body against you, something hard rubbing against your ass.
"i know luffy.. but me and law haven't properly hung since we left zou." you responded as luffy lifted his head from the warmth of your body to send law a glare while you both tried keeping balance on the floor as the surrounding crowd of people continued dancing. "so (name)-ya you coming? strawhat can tagalong if he wants." law spoke, putting his hands in his pockets as he glanced towards the exit.
"w--"
“nuh uhn..” luffy shook his head before you could even respond, his face wincing in a grimace.
"luffy, i—"
"no."
"you're supposed to rest lu.. you're still recovering" you softly exhaled, turning in his grip so you could face him. "well ya could've just stuck around me. ion like that you spent time with tra-guy in the first place." luffy continues whining, his voice growing annoyed and impatient.
he seemed restless, his breath uneven. "also ya promised you'd only dance with me." you giggled, scanning the way his pretty lips formed a pout, eyebrows furrowed in disappointment. “don't worry, it won't happen again lu, you're still my number one dance partner.. and i spent all day with you yesterday, n the day before.” you respond, letting another giggle leave your lips.
but luffy doesn't find it funny, he slowly loosens his grip on your waist— tossing his lip ring through his teeth as his obsidian eyes look into yours. "this is the thing with you, ya don't keep your promises (name)." he mutters his voice going a little deeper causing your smile to fall. wait.. huh?
"what's that even mean?" you retort. luffy's feeling all sorts of emotions right now.. but he can't tell why his breath is so shaky, or why his heart was feeling heavy. he'd been so stressed over the past few weeks, the pent-up anger was possibly getting to him.
“you keep breaking ya promises! thats what it means.” luffy snaps. for a second his eyes soften after he realizes he raised his voice, but he doesn’t move from his position, hands still on your waist. law, witnessing the sudden quarrel— decides to walk off leaving the two of you alone.
the tension between you felt heavy. "the fuck? luffy since when have i broken any of our promises. me and law well, dancing just.. happened. it didn't even mean anything we're friends." now you were getting agitated. "that's not even the main problem.." he muttered, luffy's gaze eats you up— and the glint in his eyes almost speak a magnitude of unsaid words.
"..i'm YOUR boyfriend (name), ya didn't like when hancock was all over me so why—" "can you stop bringing that bitch up??" you knew it wasn't great of you to dance with law all while your boyfriend was watching you, but you didn't think it'd be that big of a problem. you trace your hands over his— removing them as you angrily turn around to stride away. but you can never really get away from a man with the power to stretch, so luffy beats you to wherever you thought you were walking off to, stretching his arm and pulling your body back towards him.
“m’sorry… i— (name) i'm just feelin stressed right now. can you please just...” luffy rasps in a softer tone trailing off as his arms cage you. you stay silent for a couple of moments, trying to process the exchange of words you shared seconds ago. but the more he presses your back against him, the more you feel the stiffness between his legs. you don't quite know what to say, so you turn 180 degrees to press a hot kiss against his lips.
luffy's taken aback by the suddenness, but that doesn't stop him from enjoying it. he returns what you gave to him passionately. pulling you even closer, as if he's wanting to get completely lost in the kiss. you hum against his lips when luffy swivels his hips, grinding his dick against your inner thighs.
he seems so eager, so desperate for you and it shows. really lost in the kiss and in the moment, as if all he can think about is being balls deep in your dewy cunt. and who's to say you don't want him just as much. the way luffy's frenching you seems almost animalistic, and you could feel how he's having trouble controlling himself with every passing second that you're pressed against him. trying so hard to maintain his composure.
and when you break the messy kiss, a string of saliva still adjoining your lips— your captain looks at you with a blush, still panting heavily. watching the drool that slowly dripped from the corner of luffy's mouth was something that shouldn't have been so hot to you.
his eyes travel up and down your body and back to your lips. the faint taste of mango luffy had gotten drove him insane. he loved when you slathered your plump lips with lipgloss, regardless of the flavour or color— and he adored making a mess of it, ruining it. his own lips being stained a hint of red.
luffy seems lost again. almost unable to think by himself. he leans towards you once more, seemingly going in for another kiss. but he stops himself for a moment to admire how soft you feel— hands grasping your ass through the flimsy fabric of your dress. your head was spinning, maybe from the shots you took earlier, or the way luffy had devoured your mouth. "i-"
"shut up." you huff out, pulling him towards the nearest slightly secluded space you could find. and luckily, there was a nicely lit room with a thick futon neatly unfolded on the carpeted ground. pressing him against the wall, you brought a nasty, wet kiss to luffy's lips once more. one that left his stomach fluttering. he sucked and drug his tongue back and forth against yours, in the messiest ways he could think of. too lost in your lips to get off of the surface behind him.
he couldn't help the blood that rushed even more to his cock once you tugged hard on his hair. luffy couldn't put it into words, but he was such a slut for the way you painfully grasped his raven locks every time you enjoyed something. he muttered your name a couple of times between heavy breaths before he quickly wriggled out of the red material of his top letting you suction your way down his neck, teeth grazing his collarbone.
and you didn’t need any command to lower your head and place luffy's nipple between your lips. you only bothered to unbutton and drop his shorts low enough to free his aching dick, rock-hard and covered with pre-cum. fuck you wanted to slobber all over his length so bad. though luffy catches you by a fistful of your hair, preventing you from going further.
"stop, i wanna suck." you whine out, but luffy shakes his head, pulling his boxers up just enough to cover past the tip of his cock. pushing his back from off the door- he lays himself on the futon, hauling you with him. "no, i want you t’ sit on my face first." for a second, you stilled, as if the statement shocked you. "you... you want that?" you tested the waters, but luffy didn't just want it. he needed it.
"please… i’ll make ya cum so good (name) just sit on my face." luffy insists, eyes glossed over. face sitting was something he'd yearned to try with you for so long. so impatiently, he pulls you to straddle him, your dress sliding up your thighs. he wastes no time ripping the expensive fabric of your panties— taking a few moments to rub the pads of his calloused fingers along the wet patch you left beforehand.
you nervously let him pull you further up by the hips until your pussy is just above his mouth, the scent of your sweet arousal hitting his nose. “smell so good (name) m’gonna taste you now yeah?” “please do captain” you respond breathlessly. and before you could take another breath, luffy’s making out with your cunt— tongue lapping vigorously over your clit sending a pleasurable shiver up your spine.
you immediately try to raise your hips afraid you’ll suffocate him if you give in to the pleasure, but luffy’s hands grip your thighs painfully, preventing you from squirming away. because luffy doesn’t care if he suffocates as long as he’s got his tongue sloping in and through your folds. and something about knowing how anyone could walk into this room, seeing the two of you sent electricity through your core.
you felt the coolness of luffy's lip ring make contact with you constantly, and you couldn’t quite decipher his muffled words, but you could tell by the way he desperately stuffed his face between your legs that he was in ecstasy. “sso.. mmh feels good lu!” you barely manage voicing out, already close to your on-coming high.
but as much as luffy wants to stay between your thick thighs and fuck you with his mouth, he was restless, and hard. feeling his own heartbeat pulsing right at the tip of his dick. he suctions at your clit roughly, earning a loud cry from you before you’re already cumming— a slightly clear stream of liquid flowing from your cunt.
and of course, luffy being the greedy man he is takes everything you give him, leaving your cunt only after he’s had his fill. “taste n' look so pretty when you cum..” he coo's almost cheerfully before moistening his lips, a more serious look returning to his face as you free your legs from his face.
"here, taste yourself pretty" he whispers, pressing a slow kiss against your lips. though you only manage to come back to your senses enough to comprehend that he's torn off your nice pair off underwear, feigning a faux an annoyed look. "does ripping all my expensive lingerie get you off or something?"
"m'to impatient to take it off slowly.." he pouts, as you drag yourself off of him.
“is that so..? my turn now.” you whisper, before you're on off of him and on your knees tugging roughly at his unbuttoned shorts causing them to slightly tear.
"hey! those were m—"
you cut luffy short before he could complain about your petty revenge, giving the tip of his cock slow kitten licks and a few pumps before sealing your lips around it's pretty head, making him let out a throaty whine as you take or inches of him.
"i'll forgive ya if you open your mouth n take me deeper.." luffy breaths out lowly fully relaxed on his back now. one hand under his head and the other, guiding yours. you part your lips further, warm breaths of air fanning over his flushed tip.
“ahh.. fuckk baby— use that pretty mouth like you do best” luffy slurs, and something in you almost switches like a trigger. his coaxing encouraging the worst in you. especially since it was incredibly rare of him to use pet names with you. so you suddenly take as much his size as you can luffy shuddering in pleasure.
every ridge and vein on his length felt as your drag your tongue, every lick and suck of your mouth on him resulting in obscenity; gagging, wet noises, moaning. everything only making your hole flutter more.
his shut tight. opening them after a few seconds, to admire how your lips sank down on his cock. "gooddd, it's like ya mouth was made jus for— nggh.. sucking off your captain huh?"
"hold on.." you suddenly whisper, causing luffy to whine from the lost warmth. you take something out from between your cleavage. what was so important that you needed to stop? and suddenly he tenses his thighs.. you're scribbling on his cock. it tickles and it’s heaven. luffy couldn't even see what you are creating, but the sensation was fucking amazing. especially since he was so sensitive.
“thereee” you say, admiring your work.
“so pretty.”
“what did you do? i wanna see”, luffy begs, squirming needily. and you raise your hand, waving the wand of your cherry red lipgloss in your hand. luffy glances down to look at his aching cock, to find the words. 'all mine ♡' scribbled in red.
something about that act felt so endearing to him that luffy felt he'd tear up from the gesture— and from the fact that you were teasing his poor friend. he gives you a lazy smile. but as his eyes wander the room, he finds himself making eye contact with the tall mirror that but on a perfect display of your backside. you were almost on all fours now as you slobbered his cock, head tilted down and ass pointed up.
it looked so soft, and you looked ever so stunning. unfortunately for you, luffy was as restless as ever. he could never control himself whenever he saw that damn ass of yours. so you didn't blame him when he tugged on a fist-full of your hair to get you off his cock.
"wait m'not—"
"(name)... i— wanna fuck you from behind, please can't wait anymore.. want ya to put that cute ass on me."
"you're so impatient."
well, who were you to deny captains orders?
with a quick sound rustling of fabric, you'd immediately discarded your dress, pressing your face down into the futon as luffy teased your hole momentarily with the head of his cock. holding you in place by the hips and seconds later, he's already buried inside you— stuffing himself to the hilt. so fucking tight he thought.
luffy bit down onto his lip muffling the whimpers that endlessly slipped from his mouth— to the point that it drew a bit of blood. he pounded like he wanted everyone near to know, to hear how he was making a mess out of you. though he was shameless enough for it, luffy couldn't decide whether he wanted to be the only one that got to see your messy cum stuffed cunny, or if he wanted a live audience as he fucked you to the point of drooling. and who's to say you would mind the latter?
head thrown back in pleasure, his dark hair stringy from sweat, his furrowed eyebrows as you continue to tighten and clench around him, pulling you further onto his cock. he giggles breathily, "l-love when you squeeze me like that" only earning a incomprehensible mumble from you. something about the way he moaned and spoke was so ..slutty.
"cmonn.. i know ya can talk louder than that!" he sneers, and that was luffy's favourite part about doing this with you. he loved pleasuring you to the point of not being able to speak, knowing he's the only one who can make you this dumb on dick.
he loved the freedom that came with exploring new ways to make eachother feel good, and nothing made him happier than sharing in such freedom with you.
luffy's hands roughly fist your hair, pulling your head up in order to better show you what he's doing to you. "look in the mirror (name), look how gorgeous ya- gaahh, look when you're all fucked out. see? so pretty baby~" he taunts.
"gonna cum, wan' cream all over you!"
"yeah? captain's dick feels that good?" he lets off another breathy moan. "y-ya like it when i stretch ya out like this?" and when you let out a string of praises chanting his name like your life depended, he decided you deserved a treat in return for always being this good for him. so luffy bit down on his thumb and blew until you felt an unfamiliar sensation deep in your guts causing you to mewl out. he was way bigger all of a sudden, and his cock seemed to fill and rub against areas you'd never known could be reached.
"ah~ luffy thats.. you're- so deep!" you almost wanted to sob as he watched you wriggle under him, your senses overloading from the stimulation luffy inflicts upon you. it was crazy how he could be so sweet and caring with you one moment, and the next having every bone in your body tingling from euphoria.
"keep— ah god.. moanin' out like that! let tra-guy know that yer all mine" luffy rasped, only further perusing with his erratic pace. it was ruthless almost— and hearing those pretty sounds from you didn't help the burning sensation he felt in his lower stomach.
"sso- so close!"
"pl-please need you to fill me full with your seed.." you whimper feeling your knees almost buckle when his cock starts to forcefully rub against your cervix.
"i gotcha! gonna.. stuff you up- mmm, so good n watch it spill out.." he laughs between his far from quiet moans, one of his hands tracing your ass until he snakes it down between your legs, rubbing at your clit without mercy. your vision blurred and your fingers gripped at the futon tightly, “ah fuck! L-LUFFY! LUFFY!"
and as you finally cum around him, clenching around his pulsating length once more. "that's it! so good baby, so good..!" he continues to fuck into you, hitting deeply over and over again, pushing you into the softness below— then it's his turn to orgasm. his sticky white filling your womb until it started to leak out. luffy pulls out just in time for your body to slump down onto the cushioned surface.
but he doesn't let go of your hips just yet. luffy's gaze hazily follows the milk colored substance that seeps out of your fluttering cunt as he draws heavy breaths. taking his middle and index working them into your sensitivity— watching the string of cum that shadows his fingers as he pulls them out.
luffy being luffy, couldn't help but want to taste it, because what would be the point of all this work if everything went to waste?
"say ahhh." was the only thing you could make out, before you're being flipped onto your back, a strong hand resting on your chin. through your blurred sight— you watched luffy lick two of his fingers slowly, savoringly before he gathers the drool in his mouth letting it drip down to yours. and you let him, letting your mouth hang agape to accept every bit of his filth.
"swallow... atta girl..!" he smiled brightly watching the lewd expression you made tasting your guys aftermath. he runs his hands back to your ass, kneading it slowly but without any ulterior motive other than that he loves holding it when you calm down together.
"i love you (name) m'sorry i got so mad at you earlier."
"no, i should apologize. you were injured n bored and i wasn't even checking up on you."
"speaking of injuries.. i think still i need some stress therapy." luffy says with a sly grin, laying beside you on the futon.
you catch on almost too quickly, shaking your head— breath still uneven. "no no no, we're done. we can't have any of your wounds reopening."
"don't ya wanna suck me off still? a bit of head can't do any harm!"
"you realize this room has no door right?"
"......when has that ever stopped us?"
oh god.
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©2023 rainykoo  ‎   you are not to plagiarize, translate, modify or post my content on tumblr nor any other platforms.
... ✸ a/n: i was baked past cloud 9 when i wrote the other half of this but, ion wanna hear noone say shit such as “luffy ain’t slutty like that” nah man he is 🙏 down with sex ignorant luffy !!! #ace luffy is still canon but so is slut luff
tags !! @svanesworld , @selkiemaiden , @dilvcslut , @iluvs-world , @eaves-dropper , @yourmumsthings , @sanjisblackasswife , @roronoaswifey , @movie-enthusiast22 , @luffypedia , @pandoras-box0 , @xxdiaqiaoxx , @girlmeetsbullshit , @n9hida , @w9vyy , @juno443 , @roronoazorohater , @soloplayer0901 , @deathkidz
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ventismacchiato · 1 year
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32 behind the lens — sad quotes bot !
scaramouche x g!n reader
__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
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Almost a week has passed and you haven’t spoken a single word to Kuni in that time. You’ve been rather busy doing streams with your camera on but pretending to be okay with millions of your fans watching was beginning to look difficult. You received a few confused texts from Jean when she saw your reveal, but she didn’t question you further than that.
Class became burdensome as you could only stare longingly at the back of Kuni’s head. He arrived right on time and left without bidding your farewell. He never even turned his head in your direction. He wasn’t being outwardly mean but you’d rather have him yell at you then pretend you didn’t exist.
Childe had texted you that morning updating you on Kuni. He was in the same boat as you, ignoring his meals and plunging all his energy into work.
You follow him out of class that day.
It took you a while to find him, his monotone outfit blending in with every other student. But you eventually caught up and grabbed ahold of his backpack, causing him to stumble before turning back. He flinches at the sight of you.
“Hey,” you greet, “Can we talk?”
He reaches out to remove your hand from his backpack and shakes his head, about to turn around before you speak up once more. Desperate.
“Please?”
Kuni stares past you for a few seconds, an unreadable expression adorning his face.
“Didn’t I ask you to leave me alone?” he eventually says, his voice lacking any warmth it once held before. How could the same lips uttering such cruel words be the same ones that were on you skin mere days ago? Your stomach was sinking.
“Yes,” you lamely answer. It felt like you were being scolded like a child, “I just thought I’d check on you.” Screw Childe for giving you false hope.
“I don’t need you to check on me,” he spits, “I don’t need you.”
Now you were the one who flinched.
“You don’t mean that,” you eventually say as students mill past.
Scara opens his mouth to say something else but quickly closes his lips shut.
“I said give me time so I don’t say something I regret,” he sighs, “Bye,” he mutters and shoves past you.
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behind the lens !
masterlist — prev | next
typo in slide 1: toasting a poptart*
childe changed scaras wallpaper to nayeon to cheer him up :3
author’s notes — if you rmbr when i accidentally posted this no u don’t (gaslighting)
synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?
taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilneps @uma-umie @kcbenis @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @satowaluverr @lexlapis @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos [1/3]
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qqueenofhades · 2 years
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So it looks like Sinema, having gotten her requisite pound of flesh for her billionaire hedge fund buddies (basically, they agreed to keep the carried-interest tax loophole and replace it with an excise tax on stock buybacks), has finally agreed to support the Inflation Reduction Act, otherwise known as the $740 billion "pretty much Build Back Better but we are calling it something different" bill that Manchin and Schumer came out with. If/when it passes, which could be as soon as this weekend, the Democrats will have achieved -- with a 50-50 Senate with two habitual Manchurian candidates, a four-seat House majority, a rampantly fascist opposing party, a Supreme Court openly bent on destroying democracy and personal liberty, and an active criminal investigation into the previous administration -- at least the following:
The American Rescue Plan, aka the first post-inauguration $1.9 trillion Covid relief package, which was the largest investment in the working class since the New Deal;
The bipartisan infrastructure bill, which is the first major structural and transportation modernization and systemic overhaul for the country since the 1970s;
The first significant gun safety legislation in 30 years and since at least the Clinton administration;
Multiple executive orders now signed on protecting abortion rights and access to reproductive care, including travel out of state if necessary;
A bill in the works to officially codify same-sex marriage and thus protect it from SCOTUS;
Reauthorization and improvement of the Violence Against Women Act, including strong new protections for LGBTQ+ and Native American victims of domestic abuse or sexual assault, including the ability for Native courts to prosecute non-Native offenders for sex crimes for the first time in history;
Finally (FINALLY) making lynching a federal hate crime;
The largest climate legislation ever passed in America (this bill), which also establishes a federal minimum 15% corporate tax rate and lowers healthcare costs, including for essential medications like insulin, by, like, a lot;
Passage of the PACT Act, aka expanding healthcare for disabled veterans exposed to burn pits, also the biggest expansion in this field for a generation despite Republicans briefly killing it in an outburst of pettiness;
Consistent big packages of support for Ukraine, rebuilding of foreign alliances, huge bipartisan support for including Sweden and Finland in NATO (hahahaha fuck you Josh Hawley);
The CHIPS act, which creates tech and manufacturing jobs in America and was made even sweeter by how thoroughly they fucked over McTurtle to do it (since oh boy does he deserve a taste of his own medicine);
Ketanji Brown Jackson, the first Black woman on SCOTUS, and not an awful white supremacist stand-in like Clarence Thomas, but a genuinely progressive and thoughtful jurist;
Cancellation of almost $6 billion in student loans for the poorest and most defrauded borrowers, such as those who attended scam for-profit "colleges";
And so on and so forth!!!
So like. Please tell me more about how the Democrats are incompetent, their leadership is bad, they are in Disarray TM, you are a terrible person if you support Biden or give them any credit at all, and you're just not excited to vote because they haven't done anything. Like yes! There is a lot more to do! Despite them suddenly deciding to play ball on this particular occasion, Manchin and Sinema still need to be made irrelevant as soon as possible! But as I said, this is happening with the thinnest of imaginable Congressional control, as the other party is literally trying to destroy democracy in real time before our faces. That is not irrelevant.
Also: ruby-red Kansas curb-stomped an attempt to outlaw abortion rights, and approximately 77% of the entire country supports this current bill. The generic Congressional ballots have all shown major movement toward Democrats, and frankly, I have a feeling that we have only just started to see the full impact of post-Roe fallout. So if you get off your asses, quit whining, and put the work in, we could actually win the midterms and then do EVEN MORE!
So yeah. Uh. Food for thought.
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sluttywonwoo · 2 years
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to the victor (go the spoils) || [part one]
pairing: camboy!wonwoo x camgirl!reader
summary: an unspoken rivalry between the site’s top cam stars goes further than either of them ever thought it would.
warnings: swearing, smut (18+ minors dni)
additional warnings: camming, degradation, masturbation, spitting,
word count: 3.7k
svthub collab: hyung line | maknae line
Wonwoo couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Just last night when he had gone to bed, he had been at the top of the SVTHub page. Now, this afternoon, his latest upload was sitting at number two on the trending tab. He didn’t even have to look at the username to know who had surpassed him. 
Br4ttybaby’s most recent stream had already amassed ten thousand more views than his and she had only posted twelve hours ago. Typical. That was what annoyed Wonwoo the most about you. Every time he thought he’d finally claimed his spot as top creator, you had to go and claim the title for yourself. It was a cat and mouse game between the two of you. A game he was half-convinced was one-sided. 
Wonwoo practically drove himself crazy trying to figure out how you did it. How you managed to manipulate the algorithm in your favor every single time. Maybe manipulate was the wrong word. It wasn’t like you didn’t deserve the views and likes and comments that you got-- you worked hard. Wonwoo knew this from tuning in to your streams from time to time- research and all. 
The thing is, Wonwoo works just as hard as you do and still somehow struggles to keep up with you. He doesn’t want to think it has to do with how much skin you show, but it’s hard not to. 
Wonwoo is just a voice. He hides behind the safety of a black screen or an illustration of an anime dude that doesn’t resemble him at all. 
You on the other hand, you show your viewers everything. Well, everything except for your face. You keep a lace blindfold tied over your eyes at all times. It’s enough to protect your identity and allow you to see your screen so that you can monitor the footage and read the comments as they roll in. How you have the confidence to sit naked in front of your camera for a live audience at least twice a week is beyond Wonwoo. It’s not that you shouldn’t have the confidence... you’re beautiful and he knows for a fact that every single one of your viewers wants to fuck you- all except him, of course, who only watches your stream on the odd occasion out of spite. 
But he has eyes and he can see that you’re attractive. It makes you even more annoying.
Wonwoo contemplates watching the stream just to see what all of the hype was about this time, but he didn’t want to add to your view count, as petty as that sounded. He already had a good idea of what it would be anyway. The thumbnail showed you topless, with your hands covering your breasts- likely to entice viewers in by the promise of more. Only the bottom half of your face was visible and you were smirking like you knew something he didn’t. If Wonwoo didn’t know better, he’d be clicking on the VOD without a second thought and shoving his hand down his pants before you even started talking. But Wonwoo did know better, and you were the competition so he couldn’t give you the satisfaction, even if you’d never be able to know he’d watched it since the viewership is anonymous. It was the principle of the thing. 
With a scoff he shoves himself away from his desk, gaming chair rolling backwards across the hardwood floor. 
His phone vibrates in his pocket, dragging him out of his thoughts. 
Shua: i can see why she got so many views.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes, already annoyed. Still, he has to know. 
Wonwoo: why?
Shua: one of her subscribers sent her a glass dildo.
Wonwoo sighs and throws his phone on his bed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Of fucking course. You probably made so much money last night. He can almost picture the way all those idiots were glued to their computer screens, watching you fuck yourself with the glass toy. The idea of it was arousing even to Wonwoo— if it was someone else, of course. 
He picks his phone back up and sees that Joshua has sent him a few more messages. 
Shua: you probably don’t want to know how many tips she racked up
Shua: but it was a lot. 
Shua: like. a lot. 
Wonwoo: just for using a glass dildo? lol do dudes really have nothing better to do with their money
Shua: i mean it was hot 
The phone goes flying onto his bed again and Wonwoo groans. He’d enlisted his best friend to watch your streams for him so that he wouldn’t have to but that meant he had to hear Joshua’s unsolicited opinions on the matter, something he preferred not to entertain.
He couldn’t really complain, though. Wonwoo had come to Shua practically begging on his knees for him to watch your streams because he was driving himself crazy doing it himself. He knew Joshua could be objective about it, and wouldn't sugarcoat the numbers just to make him feel better. But the trade off for not having to watch them himself was occasionally listening to Shua’s personal thoughts on your streams, most of which were positive. 
It shouldn't bother Wonwoo that Joshua gets off to your streams. He’s asking his friend to watch literal porn, anyone would get hard doing that. And again, he could admit that you’re hot. It’s just. You’re his competition. But he wasn’t trying to blueball his friend. Not jerking off to the streams hadn’t been part of the deal and it seemed like an unfair stipulation to make after the initial agreement, especially since he wasn’t paying him for his intel. 
When Wonwoo realized that he had basically just delivered you a new fan on a shiny silver platter he couldn’t log into SVTHub for two days, too upset with himself to do his show like normal.  
He thought he had gotten over it but clearly it still irritated him. 
-
On Wednesday, Wonwoo gets ready for his stream like always. He’s a little nervous after what happened on Sunday night. Of course, it was normal for your positions to alternate on the charts... but it had happened so fast this time. Wonwoo is still one of the top creators of the week so his show will be promoted on the front page as usual but he’s worried that it won’t receive as much attention as your last one and that he’ll be stuck behind you forever. 
It’s a lot of unnecessary pressure he’s putting on himself, but Wonwoo had never been one to half-ass something, even if that something was overthinking. 
He logs in to the SVTHub website- he never stays logged in out of fear of his roommate or friends coming across his page when they’re hanging out in his room. 
Before opening the Stream tab, he spends a couple of minutes doing a bit of housekeeping: replying to DMs, liking comments, organizing donor tiers. He always waits to do these things right before his next stream rather than doing them immediately after the one he’s just done. After his streams he’s usually exhausted and just goes straight to bed. To be fair, most people wouldn’t be in the mood to do any work after cumming all over themselves. 
Eventually, Wonwoo decides he can’t put it off any longer and switches over to the Stream tab. He scrolls through his catalog of thumbnails for something eye-catching, ultimately settling on another one of those illustrations of a shirtless anime dude. The lack of options reminds him to reach back out to his thumbnail artist and commission some more pieces from them. He can’t keep recycling the same images forever, then no one will be able to tell the streams apart, let alone watch them if they think they’re seeing the same thing. He makes a mental note and finishes setting everything up. 
He doesn’t put much thought into the title he chooses, typing unwind with me before bed into the textbox. It sounds classier than watch me jerk off before we both fall asleep in a post-nut haze, at least that’s what he likes to think. 
Wonwoo quickly goes through his pre-show rituals, stripping himself of his shirt even though no one will be able to see him. It makes cleanup easier. He chugs a glass of water so his voice won’t go hoarse and cracks his knuckles, shaking out his hands afterward.
And then at nine o’clock on the dot he takes a deep breath and presses the GO LIVE button. 
Immediately, the viewer counter begins to tick upwards. By the time he’s spoken his first sentence there are already over two hundred people watching. 
“Hey everyone,” he says softly. “How’s your week going?” 
The responses are instantaneous. 
Blindinghalo: only so-so
Floridafreak: bad, i failed my midterm :(
M1dnightdreamer: better now that i’m talking to you ;) 
They go on like that for a while. Wonwoo chooses a couple to respond to, knowing he only has a few minutes before his viewers will start to get impatient. They’re here for one thing and one thing only and he knows that. 
“Just waiting for a few more people to join and then we can get started. Have any good dreams lately?”
It’s a cop-out technique to get his viewers to start talking dirty to him but it works every time without fail. 
“I was there?” Wonwoo asks in response to prettyplease’s comment about her dream. He wonders briefly about what he looked like, how she pictured him. “And what was I doing?” 
He waits for the next comment, reading others as they roll in. 
“I caught you touching yourself without my permission?” he hums in amusement, leaning closer to the mic. “And did I punish you for being a bad girl?” She takes a while to respond this time so Wonwoo has to move on and improvise. “Well, you know I can’t let that slide… even if it was just a dream. I’m afraid everyone’s going to have to suffer because of you, prettyplease. I was going to be nice and let you all start with me but now I’m not sure you deserve it.” He sits back a little and grins as everyone begins to protest. 
One of the reasons Wonwoo loves camming is the power trips it gives him. He gets off on the control. Knowing people are hanging onto his every word, wishing they could be the one to make him cum, wanting him. That, and the money, of course. It’s the best paying job he’s ever had. He originally started doing it to put himself through grad school but now that he knows how good of a gig it is, he’s planning to switch over to full-time after he graduates. It pays better than any entry-level job in his field would— even with the shiny new master’s degree. 
“No, no whining,” he scolds. “Unless you don’t want to be able to touch yourselves at all?”
The complaints die down almost instantaneously, to Wonwoo’s appeasement. He starts to palm himself through his sweats, feeling his dick twitch whenever a particularly filthy comment catches his eye.
“Thank you for the donation, luckylee. Have I had any good dreams lately?” Wonwoo ponders for a moment, grasping for the details of any recent ones that he can remember. He can’t, so he’s honest. “Not lately. Why don’t you inspire me, though? Give me something worth dreaming about.”
He dips a hand below the waistband of his sweats, grunting so that his viewers know he’s making himself feel good. He isn’t stroking himself, not yet— rather, he’s teasing them, dragging it out for them and himself. 
“I want you to spread your legs for me, baby. Can you do that for me? Don’t touch yet, keep your hands by your sides- or on your keyboards. I’m the only one allowed to touch right now.” 
Demons1ut: what about toys? do those count since they’re technically not our hands 😈
“Absolutely not,” Wonwoo growls before realizing the rest of the chat wouldn’t understand what he was referring to. “You’re not allowed to use toys either. I didn’t think I would have to specify that but you just want to be bratty today, don’t you?” 
Truth be told, Wonwoo likes when his viewers talk back. It keeps things interesting. He also finds it ridiculously hot. 
He scrolls through more donations and reads through his patrons’ fantasies, picking which ones to elaborate on. 
“Aw, I bet you are aching, angel. Be patient and maybe I’ll let you do something about that.” 
He leans in close to the mic again and spits into his palm, finally giving in and stroking his cock. He’s almost fully hard now. He pictures the viewers whimpering and pressing their knees together as they listen on, envying Wonwoo whilst simultaneously loving the torture. 
“Fuck, feels good,” he mutters lowly, knowing his tips skyrocket when his voice gets all raspy. “Wish it was your hand. Or better yet, your mouth. I know you’d feel so warm and wet around me.” 
4nalwhore: can we pleaseee touch now? 
Wonwoo laughs. “Such a good girl, asking permission to touch what doesn’t belong to her. How badly do you want it?” 
4nalwhore chimes in along with several others, begging him to be lenient. 
“Fine,” he scoffs. “So needy tonight, aren’t you? It’s okay, baby. You’ve been good. Why don’t you play with your clit for me? If you have a vibrator, you can put it on your lowest setting but no higher.” 
The chat is flooded with tips, making Wonwoo grin. 
He sighs as he squeezes the head of his dick, letting his mind wander to what it would feel like to have someone sitting on his lap warming his cock for him. There’s a silhouette there, a figure that he can conjure up if he concentrates, but no face appears. The entire fantasy dissipates before he can lock it in so with a huff he just continues talking to his audience, hoping that will get him over the edge like it usually does. 
“I bet your pretty pussy is so puffy and drippy for me right now, huh? Does it feel good to finally rub it? I think my hands would feel better, though, don’t you?”
He’s saying all of the things he knows will drive his viewers wild and ask for more and that’s exactly what they do. 
Red-l!ghts: can we go faster?
Demons1ut: i want to cum :((
Bestgirl290: i want something inside!!!
Quickwink: pls say we can finger ourselves now
Wonwoo tsks like he’s surprised, even though it’s exactly what he was expecting. 
“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood tonight. Go ahead and touch yourself how you like it, but don’t cum.” He spreads his legs a little wider, shimmying out of his sweatpants completely. “I’m so fucking hard,” he admits. “Been needing this all day, baby— all week, actually. I’ve been so tense lately… wish you were here to relieve my stress.” His viewers don’t know that this stream is the very thing he’s been stressing over and they don’t need to. Being vague is all part of the job and why would he expose his petty rivalry with someone who’s never acknowledged his existence and embarrass himself like that? 
Publicly pitting himself against br4ttybaby would only tank his ratings. You were too popular, too beloved to overthrow. 
Besides, his dialogue had to play into whatever daydream his viewers had. He had to be stressed for whatever reason they thought he’d be stressed. Working extra hours at the office, family issues, paying vet bills for a sick dog he didn’t have. 
So Wonwoo shakes himself of all thoughts of the little competition between the two of you and focuses back in on the stream. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s a little surprised that he’s still hard. He assumed that thinking of you while jerking off would instantly make him go soft but thankfully it seemed to have no effect. He was able to carry on without having to fake it— which he knew from experience was a lot harder than it sounded. Even if the viewers could only hear his voice, he still found it nearly impossible to make his streams sound believable when he wasn’t turned on. 
“You’d let me use you like a little fucktoy, right?” he continues, clearing his throat. “Yeah? Your legs will be shaking by the time I’m done with you. Just want to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you like you deserve. You can use your fingers now.”
He speeds up slightly, hissing at the friction created between his hand and his cock. He spits directly onto his dick this time to add more lubrication, that way, his viewers can hear the slick sounds of him working his hand up and down his shaft. 
More comments flood the chat, just like he knew they would, many telling him that they wanted him to spit on them instead. The idea is insanely hot to Wonwoo. Spitting on someone whose name he doesn’t even know, using them as a means to an end. 
He feels himself getting close so he knows he has to wrap it up. He can’t hold off forever and it’s starting to get late.
“Do you want to cum?” he asks into the mic. Obviously, the answer from all of his dear patrons is a resounding yes. “Do you think you deserve it? Have you been good for me tonight? Be honest.”
It’s getting hard for him to keep talking with how close he is to cumming so he squeezes himself a little firmer to keep his cool and get the last little bit of his dialogue out. 
“Fine, cum. I’m right th-there with you... oh fuuuck.”
Wonwoo finishes all over his bare stomach, muscles tensing and relaxing with each spurt of cum. He sighs in relief, eyes already feeling heavy with sleep. 
“Fuck, that was so good. Did you all finish with me like I asked? Good, you deserve it. Wish you were here to clean me up, though. I came so much... it’s all over me. I know you would just lick it all up like the obedient slut I know you are. But then, that would probably make me hard again, so maybe it’s better off like this.” He’s rambling now. He knows the post-nut clarity will hit soon and he’ll realize how gross and sticky he is so he has to shake himself from his fantasies and sign off. “Good night, everyone. Sleep well. I’m glad you could join me tonight and I’ll see you next time.”
He clicks the END LIVE button and immediately grabs a handful of tissues from the box he has sitting next to his computer. He wipes himself clean and deposits the dirtied kleenex in the trashcan beneath his desk, standing and stretching before making his way over to the bathroom. 
After a shower and a glance over his tips, Wonwoo shuts down his PC and goes to bed. 
-
“I think you need to step up your game,” Joshua says to Wonwoo a couple of days later, over lunch. 
Wonwoo pauses, bite of salad halfway to his mouth. “What do you mean?”
Joshua shrugs. “You know, for your cam shows.”
Wonwoo narrows his eyes at his best friend, wondering why of all places he had decided to bring that up here. He finishes his bite this time before addressing him. 
“Why?”
“Because you’re falling behind... her.”
Joshua doesn’t even have to say your name for Wonwoo to know who he’s talking about. In fact, he suspects his friend didn’t invoke your name on purpose so as not to upset him. 
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Wonwoo grumbles. 
Shua shifts nervously in his seat. “No, I mean... when was the last time you checked your stats?”
Wonwoo hasn’t looked at the site since the morning after his last show. He’d logged on to ensure that his stream had gained enough traction to reclaim his number one spot, which it had, barely scraping past yours with a few dozen more views. He knew that you would surpass him again whenever you decided to upload so he isn’t surprised by Joshua’s update. He’s annoyed, but not surprised. 
“Thursday morning, why?”
“I don’t know why, but some of her older streams are popping off again and are trending higher than your most recent one.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Wonwoo throws his fork into his bowl, scoffing. 
“It might have something to do with her saying that if her streams from the past month all hit a million views by the end of next month she’d let her viewers control a sybian while she sits on it.”
Wonwoo’s head is in his hands at this point but Joshua doesn’t let that stop him. 
“That’s why I said you gotta step it up.”
“How?” Wonwoo groans.
He just shrugs. “It seems like a simple fix to me.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You need to turn your camera on.”
Wonwoo blinks once, twice, three times at his friend across the table from him. Was he joking?
“You’re a good enough looking guy,” Joshua continues with a vague hand gesture, “you don’t even have to show your face! We go to the gym together enough for me to know that you’re pretty fit. What’s stopping you?” Wonwoo opens his mouth to answer but Shua cuts him off. “Is it your dick? Is it small?”
Wonwoo is about to leap across the table and tackle his best friend to the floor. His cheeks are on fire, as are the tips of his ears. He’s sure his entire face is red by now but he forces himself to take a deep breath and quickly look around to make sure no one had overheard the dumbass say that. 
“No. It’s not.”
Joshua looks him up and down from where he’s sitting as if to size him up. “Didn’t think so. You’re pretty tall. Bet you’ve got, what, six-seven inches?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Wonwoo mutters. 
“Why not? I’m just trying to help!”
“I don’t need help. I’m doing fine as is.”
“You wanna tell that to br4ttybaby?” Joshua taunts, smirking like he knows he’s got him cornered. He does, and Wonwoo hates it. He refuses to answer which is an answer in itself. “Then turn your camera on and take your pants off.”
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apeekintothepantry · 3 months
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Happy Pokémon Day! February 27th is the anniversary of the first two Pokémon games’ release in Japan, and it’s a minor holiday in my house, as a fun excuse to make Pokémon inspired food, watch some Pokémon shows or movies (we’re going to watch Netflix’s new Pokémon Concierge this year!), and get excited about upcoming games and releases. This year, we’re making a Pokémon Sword and Shield inspired burger-steak curry and I’m making a dessert from the Pokémon Cookbook by Victoria Rosenthal. It’s one of my favorite fandom cookbooks – all the recipes are vegetarian or vegan, to get around the awkward question of where does the meat in the Pokémon universe come from?
But that’s not all we’re making! Ever since Nicki and Isabel were released, I’ve been dying to do a post about them and Pokémon’s infamous “Jelly Filled Doughnuts”, better – and more accurately! – known as onigiri.
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Pokémon was released in the United States in 1998 via two Gameboy games: Pokémon Red and Pokémon Blue. The games quickly caught on to be one of the biggest pop culture phenomenon of the late 90’s and early 00’s, and as a kid at the heart of this explosion, I can’t overstate how much of a big deal it was. One of the great things about Pokémon – and probably why it has such lasting, widespread appeal – is that there are so many ways to interact with the franchise, and the marketing doesn’t skew hugely towards one gender or the other. Cool, tough Pokémon like Charizard got pretty similar billing to cute, pink Pokémon like Jigglypuff, and there were so many options for potential favorites that it was easy for any kid to find some creature to attach themselves to.
One of my petty complaints with Nicki and Isabel’s collection and books is the almost complete lack of mention of Pokémon and other anime that was really popular among kids in 1999. I know AG probably didn’t want to shell out for licensing deals with Nintendo or The Pokémon Company, but their stories just don’t feel accurate without discussing their prized binder of Pokémon cards or begging their parents to take them to see the Pokémon movie in theaters. Maybe the authors were just a little too old to get caught up in Pokémania?
I’ve also always thought its close overlap with the Beanie Babies crazy helped get millennial children like me very into the “gotta catch ‘em all” aspect of the franchise. Is this why I’m such a crazy toy collector as an adult? Who knows.
The Pokémon anime was one of the main ways kids like me got hooked on the franchise, because not everyone was allowed to have a Gameboy of their own (me), and not everyone liked video games, but even if you didn’t like video games, the cartoon might appeal to you. Although it was far from the first Japanese cartoon to air on US television, Pokémon was one of if not the first truly mainstream favorites of the 1990’s. 4Kids, the company in charge of dubbing the show into English, decided that American kids wouldn’t understand or be open to certain aspects of the show that reflected its Japanese roots, and so made a lot of strange choices in rewriting the script. One of the most notorious was deciding Brock’s rice balls were actually jelly filled doughnuts:
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Onigiri – also known as omusubi or nigirimeshi – are balls of rice with a variety of fillings inside. They’re often compared to sandwiches, as an easy, quick, cheap meal or snack that combines carbs and other ingredients. While the concept of taking a rice ball and stuffing it full of other tasty treats goes way back to ancient Japan, the triangle shape became popular in the 1980’s thanks to a new machine that automated the filling process. Further developments over the last 40 years have created unique ways to prepackage onigiri without making the nori wrapping sticky. The ones we made were an attempt at recreating the “Hawaiian” (spam and pineapple) rice balls from our favorite food hall back in DC. One of my favorite pandemic indulgences was getting take out from the food hall, which often included a sampler of some of my favorite onigiri, and I haven’t been able to find anything close to similar where we are now. One of the many reasons I’m excited to move!
Even as a kid, I wasn’t convinced the food in the anime was fried dough with fruit jelly inside, because they sure look like rice. I also think 4Kids didn’t anticipate that Pokémon’s widespread popularity would inspire many of its fans – including me – to become absolutely obsessed with Japanese food and culture. I would’ve been more excited if they’d just been straight with me and shown more Japanese food on the show, and then probably begged my parents to make it or take me to a restaurant that made it. While I can’t confidently cite numbers of how many other people were first exposed to Japanese culture and food through Pokémon and franchises like it, I do think it’s a bit of a missed opportunity to highlight how things like this exposed kids like Nicki and Isabel to parts of a culture outside their own!
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r0-boat · 6 months
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Random Emmet hcs
Just a collection of random thoughts I had about him every once when I had various thoughts about him. Or things I've changed my mind about when I made posts like this similar in the past. Anyways enjoy! ( I miss writing Submas :( )
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Sfw below cut for length
Follow me on this blog for multifandom writing content (mostly Pokemon)
He's very competitive when it comes to anything with competition although he's very good at Pokemon battles, because to him winning a battle not only means better in skill and raising your Pokemon but also a bigger Bond with trainer and companion he is actually happy when he loses because it still means he has a lot to learn and grow which he is always happy to know more, and he gets to see a happy trainer and happy Pokemon celebrate their victory is there a greater reward than that? But for some reason video games he becomes a sore loser no yelling no Tantrums just silent anger stowing in his Petty thoughts he'll never act out.
He was lying on his living room floor with a blanket topped over him in a T-shirt and sweatpants when he was sick because, for some reason, the floor felt better than his own bed.
Hangs up memes around the office or sends his friends semi cursed images / memes for no reason with little too no explanation. And has a whole folder in his phone just for joltik/other bug pokemon image memes, just in case he needs to react to anything he can't put into words.
I still think he likes to play scary games but his favorite ones are the ones he gets to play with his friends and laugh at their deaths. Skyla and Emmet give each other Petty nicknames and fight with each other on the regular especially over text online and in games. They fight like siblings which is funny because image is actually really close with his brother and doesn't understand why a lot of people aren't packed with their siblings. Sometimes, your sibling's actions can get on your nerves, but their family are sometimes the only ones who can understand you.
He takes self degradation even if they're jokes very seriously.
If Emmet could he would be a full-time joltik breeder I mean don't get me wrong he probably has dozens of them but I mean those breeders that have cool morphs of like certain lizards, snake and insects. Because I refuse to believe in the world of Pokémon that they are no Pokemon that are the same species but with different patterns/ fur or scale color/ breeds etc. He tried to do it himself, but he was stopped by a certain someone
Emmet cannot have TikTok downloaded as much as he loves the app; he will spend hours and hours on it and flood his poor brother and Friends with 99+ notifications. One of the depot agent managers runs the official TikTok account, and before they post anything, both brothers have to check for inappropriate content.
Emmet is either very photogenic or takes very cursed blurry photos there is no between. They'll either be a photo that looks almost professionally done with perfect lighting with his loose tie and shirt half buttoned while another one will have the lighting making it look like his eyes are glowing while the entire photo is dark with his hand coming down on the camera with a caption that says "POV: you're a bug Pokemon"
Still trying to win Nimbasa's hottest Bachelor after his brother who had one the last 3 years in a row😔
Genshin player/bias
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athousandbyeol · 9 months
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discussion #9 (only friends): top's vulnerability and mew's kindness; breaking each other's walls [episode 2 recap]
again, topmew are driving me insane. it's only the second episode but there are so many nuances of pain slowly resurfacing as top and mew begin to meddle. it's heartbreaking, to say the least, how they've/will trigger/ed the best and worst in each other as their relationship progresses.
beforehand, i want to apologise because my thoughts are never coherent, and this post won't clarify anything that's going on between topmew. i find it difficult to pen my ideas down these days because topmew are written with so much precision, care and keenness, i don't think there's much unfolding that needs to be done. but i do want to talk about this one particular scene in episode 2 that broke my heart.
(this will be a short post so hehe)
as always, please take my discussion posts with a grain of salt :)
let's start.
top's vulnerability; an unexpected 'shedding' of top's confident facade
episode 2 is a mixture of many things. i like how we're seeing more of top, not just his confident and prideful nature, but more of his truest self; the core he tries to hide from everyone.
it's interesting how in every moment of top's vulnerability, mew is the person who witnesses it: 1) when top was subtly angry that mew turned down his offer of sex (the ice cream offer), 2) when mew almost caught top and boston in the shower cubicle (?), and 3) when top was about to take his sleeping pills.
as i mentioned in my previous post, top and mew are tempting each other into this 'losing' game just to see who's going to win and who's going to suffer the pain. however, i also see this 'hunter-hunter' relationship as the beginning of top and mew finding/regaining their truest identity. again, as i discussed before, their encounter would bring out the best and worst in them, and i believe meeting mew will change top for the better but meeting top will awaken the worst side of mew.
i think many people out there are more coherent than me when it comes to explaining the dynamic between top and mew, so i'll just make this very simple.
mew's kindness and attentiveness touch top's heart
after that cute (and sensual) cookie scene, top asked if he could sleep over at mew's house. again, i don't see any malice in this. i believe top is genuinely tired and he was just lazy to drive home. but, i also believe it's because top likes the warmth mew gave when they slept on the same bed before. top has tasted that before— so he wanted to have a morsel of it again. top believed they could revive that non-sexual connection tonight— but as mew said this was a reset and nothing like that had ever happened— top couldn't sleep together with mew on the same bed. bummer.
so, top agreed to sleep on the sofa instead. but he couldn't sleep. he was tossing and turning. he was visibly tired, though. so why he couldn't sleep?
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he then decided to reach for something in his pocket—
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—sleeping pills.
God. the way i gasped when i saw this. top is an insomniac. he can't sleep alone due to his trauma. (i made this assumption before and it broke my heart when it came to life...)
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i like how top's comfort was mew's only concern at that point. he knew the sofa was uncomfortable, and he was particularly the one who insisted top to sleep on it. so the guilt mew felt was genuine to me— he felt bad for putting top in that situation.
and it's so amazing how 'loud' top's eyes were.
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i see that scared and traumatised kid in those eyes; the fear that stayed with him for God knows how long resurfaced as mew 'caught' him red-handed, wanting to cave into the safety of those pills just to tame his suffocating notions down.
even so, top still tried to assure mew that he was okay. it was just another petty problem of his. it wasn't supposed to be mew's concern.
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it was just top not wanting mew to see this weak side of his. because top has always flaunted himself as the confident and 'top of the top' amongst his friends/peers, so how could he break apart in front of mew— the person top was trying to woo? of course, he won't.
but this is why humans are humans, at the end of the day. no matter how hard we try to be everything that we wish to be, there's always going to be something that rips us apart. we aren't bulletproof. it's okay to be vulnerable. it's okay to be weak.
i bet no one has ever said these things to top; thus, the start of his flamboyant/confident persona is his (messed-up) understanding that he can't show his weaknesses in front of anyone, even to himself.
yet, mew approached him with gentleness. even though mew questioned the legitimacy of top's story (which, i did too), still, mew wasn't the one to jump to a conclusion that quickly. i think it's also heartwarming how mew was willing to listen. it's one of the things top didn't know he wanted and needed— someone that was willing to listen to the noises in his head.
side note: i would like to add how different top and boston are despite boston saying they're the same. in episode 2, nick was talking about his passion for animation. he was visibly happy sharing about his interest since boston asked him. i guess, nick perceived this as boston taking an interest on other things about nick that wasn't just about the sex. however, boston wasn't paying attention as he was busy developing the picture he took of nick. the convo ended just like that. this showed nothing mattered to boston; whatever nick likes or dislikes outside of sex doesn't matter to boston.
this is different from top because he did listen to every word mew said (the ice cream convo). so, although yes, top and boston do share some attributes, top is entirely a different person compared to boston. this is why top was so angry when boston said they're the same. top knew too well they aren't.
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this act of kindness touched top's heart. i don't think top understood the severity of mew's actions toward him (yet), but this would be one of the reasons why top (will possibly) //sincerely// likes mew in the future.
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i honestly have the same response as mew. i legit asked if this is true because really, everything top said in these two episodes, i don't believe him at all. but the glint in top's eyes indicates a different story that was waiting to be read, and who's going to read it well? mew. why? because mew likes to read. he wants to read top. mew wants to know top beyond everything he heard from everyone else. mew wants to understand top through and through (perhaps for his own benefit?).
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it's safe to say that top was slightly hurt by mew's words, but it was also something top would've expected. he never told this to anyone/boston since he is top by the way— the best of the best. who would ever believe this confident jock is battling a (petty) fight of his own?
it's a given— this confident facade comes with the price of having no weaknesses— and top knew he couldn't expect much empathy or understanding from mew or anyone. i bet he was a bit confused too; why did i tell mew this? but i guess it has to do with top feeling at ease with mew. he believed mew was giving him options to share at his own pace, never once forcing top to say anything without his will.
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mew was doubtful, and i think it's very valid. this also kind of verifies the idea that mew hasn't totally believed in everything top said/did to him, hence the 'reset' agenda mew introduced in their 'relationship'. mew knew all along of top's game, but this was mew confronting top head-on, with sincerity, because top was vulnerable. top was honest for the first time, at least to himself. and what would top get if he lied about his trauma to mew? honestly, i assume, nothing. nothing but mew's trust and love for top— which is everything that top wants from mew in the future.
and mew apologises. that's wonderful. i think that really sparked something in top's heart.
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i still have doubts about top and will continue to doubt him until he proves me wrong, but i think he's telling the truth in this scene. why?
this is the first time top outwardly showed his vulnerable side to us; the audience. we've never seen it happen without some kind of obscurity; it's always from mew's perspective that we see the walls top built slowly starting to crack. but at this moment, it's just top, mew and us. he has nowhere to hide, and no one is judging him. mew isn't judging him. and we aren't too. who would judge anyone who's just sharing their problems? i don't think it's fair to do so.
additionally, i think it's another smart directing. p'jojo and p'ninew introduced this scene to us early on so that we know why top ended up doing whatever he will do in the future— it provides an exhibition(s) once topmew's relationship is put into 'trial'. at least, we know that top isn't entirely bad; he's just someone who resorted to sex because he can't sleep. however, that doesn't justify infidelity/dishonesty in any form of relationship.
and it's also interesting how we know mew (and the other characters) are being interviewed in the blue room, which means they (and us, the person behind the camera) are involved in their story too. this is why i said we're more so included in their journey in this series. also, the characters will turn to us to seek validation/answers/confirmation on what they should/will do in the future. i think that's why this scene feels sincere and heart-wrenching because we are present at the moment— we are there to witness top showing a part of himself that he despises; his sleeping problems, not only to mew but the audience.
i like this scene a lot because we get to see mew being the way we all perceive him to be initially; kind, understanding and helpful. these are the traits that bound ray around mew still, and this also will be the reason for top's deep infatuation for mew in the future.
furthermore, when mew offered to sleep next to top, i really see that as an act of kindness. this moment brought out the best side of mew, the gentle and attentive side of him that everyone loves him for (ray especially). so it was a liberating moment for top to have a taste of mew again— not sexually— but this intimacy that transcends the 'comfort' sex can give to top.
at this point, what i can deduce is sex has always been top's 'sleeping pill'. he can spend the whole night fucking someone so that he won't have to close his eyes and surrender to the trauma of 'dying alone'. i guess a part of top is just afraid of being lonely— of not being wanted. that's why he created this confident persona. it's the only way to make people 'desire' him. it's the only way to be valid and wanted by anyone.
but hugging mew— having someone on the bed and not doing anything but cuddling— provides top with the warmth and security he has always wanted and needed. as i said, this will be the main reason why top will hold onto mew— why he likes mew so much— why he's the one crying as mew confronted him of his past 'sins'.
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but still, it breaks my heart how top insists that he's fine and he doesn't want mew to worry about him (or see/belittle his flaws to his face). it would hurt top's pride if mew did that. but we all know mew wouldn't. if a person is kind to him— if they respect mew, mew will respect them too.
in fact, mew offered a helping hand—
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—in which top quickly agreed.
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it's so... sad. it's sad how mew is the one who wanted to know top better; mew is the one who wanted to help top to sleep better; mew is the one who brings out the best in top.
but it's also sad how this won't be easy for top because boston is still around; his sexual needs aren't yet fulfilled; his ego is constantly challenged by mew and boston; top resorting to boston as boston has always been the easiest 'way out' to make top feel in control again. top is so afraid of losing control of himself and his surroundings that he knows— fucking and having boston in his life will always provide him with a sense of power and stability.
and that's just heart-shattering to me.
side note: i guess, when top and boston have sex in the car next week, it might be because of top's frustration. he feels like a loser because mew is constantly toppling his ego and top just can't take that from mew. he feels so powerless and challenged by mew's firmness. why? because mew is his weakness. and top is slowly realising whatever mew said to him during the laser tag game was true. perhaps, top was in a state of denial; he was trying to discredit his feelings for mew, not wanting to believe it is not more than ' i think i like you' but merely 'i just want to fuck you'. this will fuck top up so badly and thus— boston is there at his service. boston will say that he's right all along and mew isn't interested in top and he's already losing in this game. so top takes boston in because, with boston, he'll always win. //this breaks my heart...
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damn. i'm just... shattered... at this point. this checklist thing is driving me to the edge. goodness. mew. top. you guys are killing me.
how topmew's relationship will play out; a prediction
i would like to share my assumption on how the first half of topmew's relationship will unfold (episodes 3 to 6).
in episode 3, i think it'll be the start of mew discovering top and boston's secret relationship (the car sex will be crucial evidence in the future).
since p'book said episode 4 will be spicy, i have a feeling their first time will be in episodes 4/5 as mew might 'change' his strategy now by allowing top to have 'his way' with mew.
then, episode 5 will be topmew's 'honeymoon' phase when they're finally coming to terms with their feelings. the shower scene we see in the trailer might be in episodes 4-5 too since top said, "before, when i had sex with someone else, my only concern was if i orgasmed. but with mew, i want to make you as happy as possible." i guess this line is spoken before they have sex (to make mew believe that mew is always going to be top's priority). but it can also be after they had sex too.
i read a tweet that said forcebook love episode 6 the most. p'force said it is the climax so i'm guessing it's when the confrontation scene will take place. mew might've saw something relating to topboston's relationship (the photobooth picture that nick has? i think nick might show it to mew just because nick wants boston to stop meeting top), so he lashes out at top right there and then, perhaps no longer believing in anything top tries to justify.
and i think after episode 6 ends, it'll be the start of the intense drama, not only between topmew but other pairs as well. also, this marks the beginning of mew's transformation.
but again, these are just assumptions that i made. hehe
conclusion
it's fascinating to see how top sheds the confident side of him— the most important aspect of his personality— to mew, the person top wanted to win over. i like this vulnerability top showed to mew. it kind of solidifies the idea that top will cave into mew more and more in the future, and that dependency will turn into deep love— i want to believe top will love mew so much that he can't live without mew anymore. cue those heartbreaks because i'm so excited to see top breaking apart.
i honestly think i can no longer write a coherent and good topmew discussion post because they're just confusing and baffling me in every episode. however, if i ever want to highlight some important parts i see in an episode, i will try my best to pen them down. i apologise for this thought vomit :(
[1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (i) | 4 (ii) | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12]
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st4rgzer · 1 month
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CAN YOU DO STILL THINK ABOUT YOU BY A BOOGIE WITH A HOODIE AND MAKE IT LIKE ANGSTY ND SHI ( chris pls🙏🏽🙏🏽 ) .
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still think about you (chris sturniolo)
summary: when enough is enough, you act and confront chris
genre: just angst
cw!: swearing, cheating, kissing
a/n: i tried to do this the best i could since i didnt really know the song, i went with a different path (slightly) but i hope you like it<3
“i love you”
“…”
who knew a relationship of 6 months could be over over nothing, literally nothing. a silence. a silence that i anticipated, but nonetheless hurt just like the last time i tried saying it. from the look on chris’s face, he knew he fucked up, again.
“chris?” my voice was brittle, easily able to break any second now. my bottom lip trembled as he looked away, a guilty expression being hidden from me.
“baby you know how i feel-“ i cut him off. “do i?”
almost every ounce of respect i had for him shriveled away right then and there.
“do i know how you feel, if you can’t even fucking say ‘i love you’ to my face?” i tried to keep a firm voice despite the tears the pricked my eyes, desperate to come out.
i laughed, throwing my hands up in the air, in disbelief at the stupidity of the situation, and at chris’s inability to say a word.
“i don’t know what to say.”
“y’know what my mom told me, told me to watch who i fuck with and never trust a guy like you for shit.”
my words were petty and dripped with venom, tears falling over my cheeks. chris could only watch in pity.
“my friends warned me, fuck it, everyone warned me about you and about how much of a shit fucking person you are. but i didn’t believe them, and now i know. i feel fucking stupid, but i know i should’ve known better. instead of trusting any fucking bitch that slides into my dm’s. sure you might be rich ‘nd famous, but you’re no different than any rat i could find on the street.”
i spoke loudly, harshly. meaning every word that spewed from my mouth. my hand came up to my face to wipe the tears that had previously fallen. chris sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, keeping his head down, he knew i had a right to be this mad. making me wait and wait till he was ‘ready’ to step forward with the relationship.
seeing as he was going to do next to nothing to keep me from going, i grabbed my purse and stomped across his living room, opened the door, and slammed it shut.
it was bittersweet, sitting in my car in his driveway, secretly waiting for him to run after me. but nothing happened, no one ran after me. so i kept some of my self respect and drove off, leaving behind who i thought was going to be the ‘love of my life’.
but mundane moments don’t feel the same with his hands wrapped around my waist, head leaned on the crook of my neck. his scent had washed off from all my clothes after a few weeks. no messages from him came, and i don’t think he ever intended to send one anyway. the worst thing is i still check, i still care. so it made sense for me to grab the phone when a post notification of his instagram page went off. one that made my stomach drop, my throat dry, and my knuckles white as i gripped the device in my hands. was this how it felt to have a knife in your back? i thought. have it twisted around and stuck again and again ferociously? because that’s how it felt.
does he remember how he’d been so afraid of posting me to the world that he’d keep me secret until he knew that i was really comfortable? that he’d whisper “id rather keep you to myself just a little longer” as we talked about our future under the boston night sky. how he’d promise me that i was worth every penny and every minute. did he just forget everything?
i turned the phone off, and stared at a small spot on the wall, trying to think about anything else but the photo i had just seen. a girl, holding chris’s cheek. kissing it. chris was smiling, an ice cream cone in his hand. that was not his favorite flavor. surely he had done this out of spite, right? surely the caption that read “i love you, thanks for the ice cream” had been to hurt me, annoy me. was it the fact that is was me that he couldn’t say ‘i love you” to? cause it seems like that comes easy for him to say with everyone else.
my mind spiraled as the familiar feeling of tears brimming my eyes started to form. my throat burned and my hand formed into fists to try and stop them from shaking. any hope of returning to where i’d once called home, was lost. i still think about him, that’s the worst part.
“i have to tell you something”
GRACE TALKS: guys i dont even remember my taglist help remind me if u wanna be tagged🙏
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findafight · 8 months
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I just don't trust any of the additional media with Steve because it just keeps reminding us that he was an asshole.
The Robin book reminds us that he was an asshole. The Lucas book reminds us that he was an asshole. I'm almost certain that the Eddie book will remind us that Steve was an asshole, possibly make him out to be a bigger asshole than the show.
And that's on top of the way we get no backstory to him or his family. Between the show and the additional media we at least have the names for the parents for pretty much every other main kids/teens and even some non mains. The show has made a point of showing us the parents of Barb and Heather, but they can't even mention Steve's parents by name once anywhere?
Supplemental material is always sort of...half canon to me? If it includes minor stuff I like that doesn't mess with established canon I accept it (Robin's parents being Melissa and Richard and also former hippies, scoops troop playing dnd to cheer Erica up, Steve and Mike having an awkward talk about what happened post s1 where Mike cries at him), but when it has things I don't like or are contradicted by canon I ignore it lol.
It sucks because Robin tells us in the show exactly why she thought he was an asshole. The girl she had a crush on liked Steve, he didn't know who she was, he ate bagels messily, he asked what Robin perceived as stupid questions. Literally petty teenage shit!! I only have knowledge of the additional media via Tumblr but I saw that apparently in the Lucas book Lucas specifically doesn't go to Steve because he thinks (for some reason that isn't given) that if Steve plays sports again he'll revert back into an asshole (who was just a normal jerk teenager level let's be real) even though Steve, at the time he helped Dustin and then helped save Lucas, was still on the basketball team!! That's so sad and I'm glad it isn't official canon because no :( Lucas deserves to have his mentor on the basketball team and also bond with Steve practicing!!
The Eddie book better not make Steve anything other than mildly frustrated or annoyed at Eddie's loud lunchtime rants. They never spoke before! Maybe Steve bought weed from him a couple times but they never had meaningful interactions! Eddie's whole thing about Steve was that he made assumptions based on facts (big house, girls love him) he had heard about Steve, not anything Steve had directly done. It'll be so stupid if they fake retcon that!!
Steve deserves literally SOMETHING telling us a little about his parents though. Like their names. Or maybe if they're from town or not...just. something more than we have.
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bisexual-horror-fan · 6 months
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Do-Over-December 1st. "Pretty Little Present." Freddy Kruger X FEM! AFAB! Reader.
So back in 2020, I did this lovely little event called Kinky December, basically I wrote over 40k of fics for the month of December following along with a writing event another user in the slasher fandom posted. It was a super fun thing honestly and I was thinking, it's been three fucking years since that event. Why not, revist these fics I wrote and revamp and beef em up?! I know I've been very absent and thought this would be a fantastic way to try and get back into the groove. My intention is to update and improve upon these fics, length, more detail, change shit up a bit and have fun. My gift to you this holiday season is this, the constant commitment to better my craft and show how far I've come. Now let's get into it!
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Rating. Explicit. Length. 2.4K. (Old Length 1.7K) Warnings: Lingerie. Teasing. Dirty Talk. Knifeplay. Bloodplay. Glove Porn. Manhandling. Choking. Thigh Riding. Pet Names. Implied Established Hookups. Possessiveness. Domineering Attitude. Light Degradation. Freddy Just Being A Bastard As Always.
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You hadn’t discussed it previously, but to be perfectly fair, you never discussed much of anything while you were together. Freddy always had other plans in mind for your pretty little mouth other than talking, many a night he preferred to treat his ears to the sound of your muffled and wet gagging with his hand on the back of your head as opposed to petty conversation. 
When the idea first hit you initially brushed it off, no way, too ridiculous and yet the thought refused to leave, the musing wore you down until you find yourself in the mall full of shoppers eager to get their holiday splurging over with. You were in the mall picking up gifts for other people and when you walked by that particular store the idea hit once more, and you considered it. The idea didn’t leave you all afternoon and midway through you decided that yes, you would. You left it for last because you still felt almost silly for really choosing to commit to this. 
You’d shopped in here before but never for something like this, your previous purchases were for more every day use, out of necessity and this was much more frivolous. Fingers linger as you search through racks and open drawers, trying to find just the right combination to, no pun intended, set him on fire. When you did find it, you were fucking giddy about it. 
Dear God, it was positively perfect. He would love it, Hell, you loved it too, you knew down to your bones that you would feel confident and sexy in it and as you were checking out you wondered why you never thought of doing this sooner.
You knew he was going to see you tonight. He never talked to you directly and told you when, but he had a little pattern, you had figured out with decent accuracy the nights he would pay you a visit. It had been a few days, there was no doubt in your mind that he would be anything but hungry and would seek you out.
It did look good. You looked good. You were looking at yourself in the mirror, and you wanted to laugh at the effect he’d had on you, turning and admiring your own ass with a thought of, “Like a dream come true.” His cheesy puns and terrible jokes have rubbed off on you more than you liked to admit out loud.
Silky and sheer stockings creeping up your legs, thigh high of course, the tops of them lacy, intricate patterns you traced absentmindedly with your fingertips as your eyes continued to rove over yourself. The garter belt holding said stockings up was cinched at your waist, the panties were so barely there you seriously wondered if they even qualified as such. The bustier corset style top was to die for, what it did to your tits alone made the price seem worth it. And of course it all matched perfectly, red and lacy fit the season and his tastes perfectly, I mean you’d be a fool not to get the whole set, really. It left very little to the imagination, and you were certain he’d enjoy it.
Was the robe entirely unnecessary? Yes. Did it hang off of your frame beautifully and elevate the whole look? Naturally. Besides, it was a gift, and you normally never brought yourself this kinda thing, it was the holidays, and you’d been very fucking generous to all the people you care about, why not be a bit generous to yourself too? You deserved to feel this good about yourself. 
You climbed into bed that night wrapped in soft and smooth clingy fabrics that accentuated your assets, a pretty little present, all for him. 
Falling asleep was a challenge, simply due to the excitement you felt to see his reaction to your present for him. When you did fall asleep it took awhile for you to notice, which wasn’t unusual, becoming aware of the shift was hard, it was almost always muddy, until you heard him, that made you come to your senses real quick.
“There you are, kitten, took you a minute to get here, tonig-oh.”
You couldn’t hide your smile, you wanted to turn to face him, but there was no need, he was already on you.
His presence could be felt over your shoulder, your back nearly on his chest, you could feel the heat that radiated off of him. You felt his non-gloved hand on your shoulder, it started there and dragged up slowly, the back of his knuckles coming over the side of your throat and up over your cheek. His fingers hook, and he pulls some of your hair aside, exposing more of your throat to him, he leaned in closer and whispered in your ear, “What’s all this, hmm?”
What happened to all of that confidence of yours? It always seemed to dry up relatively quickly around him. Suppressing a shiver, you instead ground yourself but lacing your fingers together in front of yourself, responding simply with, “A gift.” 
You felt his lips brush the shell of your ear as his head pitched forward slightly, he let out this terrible low laugh that made your skin prickle in a way that made you want to squirm. Next you felt the tips of the blades on his glove brush your hip, even through the sheer material of your robe the steel felt terribly cold, then again the robe was there for how it looked, not for any warmth it could provide.
“For me?” 
His question was met with a simple nod in response from you. 
That glove of his moved higher, the clink of metal on metal had started to condition you, hearing it would make you want to press your thighs together and would begin the slow drip of arousal. He pulled some of the material as he went, the soft fabric felt so good sliding against your skin, that small twinge of fear when his glove was on you was present was also welcome, it isn’t a hindrance, instead it adds to the feeling and experience. 
“You shouldn’t have.” He hums.
Fucking Christ, that voice of his affected you on the best of days, but when it was right in your ear? It made the current problem of your ever increasingly wet underwear infinitely worse for you. It was far too early for you to be having this much trouble, but he was just on you aggressively, you had no time to adjust like you usually did, he left you no personal space. The second he saw you tonight, his hands were on you. Yet you made yourself press onward, made yourself speak, and tried to hide how turned on you were already becoming.
“I wanted to.”
That pulled another laugh from him, and to be fair it was funny. The very idea of you spending hard-earned money on a gift for him, money that you could have spent on friends or family, or on yourself in a better way, you spent instead on fancy lingerie to wear for your murderous dream demon fuck buddy. 
The fact that you meant it? That you had wanted to get him something? Hilarious.
The fact that you were actually hoping to impress him, please him? That was downright hysterical.
He sounded pleased as punch as he responded, thoroughly amused and still groping at your body. “My, my what a remarkable little slut you are. And here I didn’t get you anything.”
Him speaking pulled you from your thoughts, non-gloved hand on your throat from behind, glove on your waist, and he manhandled you, turning you around, looking you up and down. It was far too quiet right now, you wanted to squirm from how intensely he was looking at you, wanting to shift your weight from one foot to the other. 
You broke the silence first, desperate to fill the space, to distract yourself from how he looked at you, “I didn’t tell you I was doing this, it’s fine, you didn’t get me something.”
Eyes flicked up, and his gaze met yours, a lecherous grin breaking out on his face, leaning closer as he teases, “All the more reason. I didn’t have to ask, and you did all this.”
He clearly appreciated your effort, that was made all the more obvious as his hands pushed open your robe. More exposed flesh on display he took the opportunity and one of the blades of his glove dragged over that strip of exposed skin between the lace edge of the bottom of your bustier and the top of your garter belt. You weren’t sure whether to lean in or pull away, the touch was featherlight, and it didn’t break the skin, but fuck, you wanted him to.
You wanted him to do what he did best, overwhelm you in every single way possible, pleasure and pain, doesn’t matter, you wanted it all. 
You let him touch you. In whatever way he wished to, and you enjoyed it as always. Fingertips dragging over any exposed skin, pulling on straps and feeling the lace roughly, dipping in occasionally, teasing you with the threat of more. 
What was his goal, agony or ecstasy? Always hard to tell with him, it could be either, or more usually, both, and you wouldn’t have minded whatever he provided. Your eyes had fallen closed, and you were simply enjoying feeling, and then you felt the drag of that blade over your thigh, and it drew a shuddering breath from you, the first cut of the night always was special, this one hurt, burned in a particularly delicious way.
It took a moment for you to realize, you felt the warmth and wetness soaking into your stocking, your eyes flying back open, gaze falling down and there it was. A hole in the red sheer material, matching the one in your skin. He cut you again as you watched, harsh inhale through your teeth, blood blooming, darker red staining the more candy apple colour of your lingerie and fuck you loved that sight almost as much as he did, something that changed in you definitely because of him.
He didn’t stop there. “You look like you want to say something.”
A singular blade dragged up and hooked into one of the straps of your garter belt, a pause, he looked up into your eyes, and you looked back. He moved again without breaking eye contact, he cut and severed the thin red strap that helped hold your stocking up in two. From that small motion you let out a quiet sound of protest and looked down, hand finding the split strap and feeling it, examining it with a small frown, he didn’t stop. Dragging the blades back up, thin lines cut again, splitting apart the delicate sheer material and lace as he went.
You did want to say something. You spent good money on this, and he was ruining it, you hadn’t even had it for a full day, and it was decently expensive, yet here was he was shredding it without a single fucking care, but you knew better than to talk back to him most nights.
The next motion was quick, a sharp upward jerk of his hand and he made another cut, bigger, much bigger, nearly splitting the top in two, nicking you in the process. When one of those blades hooked into one of the straps on your shoulder you finally spoke up, unable to be silent any longer, what you said next might have been meaner than necessary. “What the fuck do you think you are doing, Freddy!?”
And then you were pushed into the nearby wall, back hitting the concrete so hard the wind is knocked out of you, his non-gloved hand on your throat, holding you in place firmly. His leg slots in between yours, and he leans in, closer than he has been all night. 
"This is my present, isn't it?"
You struggled and when you did it put more pressure on your still clothed pussy, you were so wet you were sure you’d leave a stain on his pants, yet he pressed harder. He always made it so hard to think, and you choked out pathetically, "Ah, wha-what?"
He made you grind on him, his hand tightened on your throat, and he made sure you repeated the motion, dragging your almost exposed slit over him once more, and it made you moan. Fuck, you hadn't realized how excited you had gotten, just being around him had gotten to you terribly, you should have known better to be honest. Those blades had an awful habit of making you drip as soon as they touched you. He spoke again, so harshly as if you were an idiot, "You…”
The look he gave you was pointed, your brows furrow, your clit throbs and your hole leaks. He repeats himself before continuing his thought, slowly, “You are MY gift, aren't you?”
Fuck, that got to you too, the extra hard grind he forced you to do on the last word made it worse still. When he talked about owning you, flexing that more possessive side of himself, it made you weak. You nodded once, swallowing, he was holding you so tightly, breathing was a challenge, and you grit out the only reasonable, logical and true answer, "Ye-yes I am."
That damn smirk, he loosened his grip slightly, his thumb stroked over your skin, and he said oh so mockingly, "Then why are you-” He points to you with his sharp gloved pointer finger, close enough you are almost worried he’d run you through between your ribs,“-giving me-” he pointed back to himself before saying, “-shit about how I'm choosing to unwrap MY present?”
And he sliced through that strap on your shoulder, nicking you in the process again, deeper than before, you groaned. 
His glove came up, and he licked the spilled blood from the blade, staring you down. You knew you couldn't fight him. This was his gift and he could do with it as he pleased, do with you as he pleased.
You conceded.
"I'm sorry. You're right Freddy." That got a laugh out of him as he hooked another blade in the remaining strap on your other shoulder and made you grind on his thigh once more, drawing another broken moan from you.
"Naturally." He was always right, wasn't he?
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grumelot123 · 4 months
Text
I'm trying so hard to hate you Crowley x Aziraphale (2/?)
PART 2 IS HERE!!!! SORRY FOR A LONG WAIT
THIS IS MY ONLY NO ANGST CHAPTER THAT WILL BE POSTED ON THIS PROBABLY! HAPPY READING!!
As we got into the car. I just realised something.
I finally got to confess properly to Crowley
Me and Crowley and now...dating? Talking? Uh..
"Angel, you alright?"
"What? Oh yeah, i was just thinking"
"Oh? Thinking about what? Armageddon?"
Oh shit- I actually put Armageddon on the back burner in my mind. How in the Lord's name did I put the END OF THE WORLD in the back of my mind???
"Well, no actually. I was sorta thinking about you. Well not you, but us"
"Oh? Us? What about us?"
"Well, now that we've..you know talked. What does that make us? Like are we..together?
*Crowley Pov*
Together? Well. I feel like we are. Or at least something like that. What if he doesn't want to be together? What if..he doesn't want-
No. All I need to do is ask.
"Well, do you want for us to be together?''
We had just arrived in Tadfield, at a small hotel
"I..I had never thought about- well I never really thought we'd end up even getting this far. I honestly didn't even think you'd forgive me after the whole "I forgive you" ordeal. I mean yes, I want to be together. I want to be able to think of you as my lover and to be able to tell people without hiding anything. But Crowley this isn't only about what I want, if you think it's too soon then we can wai-"
"Angel. I love you. I want to be with you. If 6,000 years is "too soon" then I'm not sure what "the right time" is."
"So..we're really doing this? Us?"
I could do 2 things here. I could agree, and have Aziraphale as my lover for most likely the rest of my life. Or I could be petty and make him wait another 5 years. See if he really wants me. If he can make a commitment.
I've never been the best at waiting.
"Aziraphale...do you want to be my boyfriend?"
He laughed. Then he looked at me, his eyes full with love and pure joy. I swear they were actually shining.
He reached for my glasses again, took them off, put them down, then slowly brushed my cheek.
"I'm not sure I could ever really say no to you Crowley"
We sat there for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Looking at each other with an amount of love that would be unfathomable to humans.
We could speak, break the silence. But we've said everything that's needed to be said.
But then Aziraphale broke the silence, only saying
"We have a big day tomorrow, better not sit in the car all night, and as much as we do it, admiring each other like teenagers"
"M-kay...but only cause you asked so "nicely"
Aziraphale lips have always looked very soft, but now I know what they taste like? There was no way in hell I was letting him go to bed without giving me a good night's kiss, so before he got out I locked the doors, letting him turn towards me to give me a suspicious look. Which was my moment to pull him in.
*Aziraphale Pov*
I turned to go open the door, but as soon as I touched the handle Crowley had locked it? I turned to ask him why he had done it but then he had pulled me in for a kiss.
I practically melted into his touch. As soon as our lips touched I really couldn't get enough. We were both heavily breathing and only coming up for air when needed. But neither of us could seem to stop, or even want to for that reason.
Instead of letting go, he reached forward with his other hand and grabbed my hair and made us come even more together than I thought was possible.
After pretty much making out for 5 minutes straight he let go of me, looked at me happy but almost lazily and just said.
"I take pride knowing I can just do this now"
So I did what any good boyfriend would do and replied with.
"Not if I don't get some sleep for some energy that's going to definitely be needed tomorrow"
*Crowley's Pov*
I got out of the car but ran around to go open the door for my boyfriend.
My boyfriend. My lover. My Angel.
"A gentleman as always Crowley"
As we walked up to the hotel, I'd open the door up for him too.
When we walked inside, I had one of my "Crowley moments' What's a Crowley moment you ask? Oh, well it's when I Crowley have some of the best/worst ideas ever like this one. But this one was good, Really good.
I reached to hold his hand.
Which doesn't sound like much seeing as how we just had a makeout session in my car. Not even 5 minutes ago. But a little does a lot. Definitely with me and Aziraphale.
We went up to the desk and gave him Aziraphales name and the person looked at us worried like.
"What's wrong?"
"Er..well..you booked 2 rooms..but we only have 1."
Sharing a room with Aziraphale? This night may have just a took for the better.
"And well..there's only 1 bed"
He took the keys and we walked to the elevator.
"I call right side"
END OF PART 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THOUGHTS? I MEAN NOW THEY R OFFICIALLY DATING!
PART 3 TOMORROW?
jk...unless?
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cyanichexanthine · 6 months
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Ok sort of a continuation of my prickcest thoughts posts as promised. Parts one and two here with a maybe addendum. Also fair warning, a very long post of compiled thoughts. Under a read more bc it's way too long lmao
That final scene of Rick beating the shit out of Prime, out of himself, being so painful to watch? Yes, and it’s meant to be, because I think we are seeing Prime still trying to reason with Rick. Ricks don’t just outright talk, they only seem to talk with barbed tongues and petty actions. He was calling him out on literally becoming him. Rick took his place in his family. He literally did become their Rick. Living with the Prime family, he became Rick Prime because as far as they knew, he WAS Prime coming back years later. It’s so guttural and bitter because he’s still, even after all this time, trying to reach Rick. To make him see the truth one last time before he makes a decision he is going to regret, and Prime knows this, because he knows himself. 
Earlier in the episode he says “I upgraded this thing by the way, the new version can fire more than once, so now I can erase your whole family, one by one until you finally learn your lesson. Which you won't, so then I’ll kill you too.”
What lesson was Prime trying to teach Rick? There are a few options but I firmly believe Rick’s rejection has been hanging over him for so long, especially since he chose family over Prime and “infinity”. A LOT of other Ricks seemed to accept portal tech and leave, who wouldn’t, it’s a semi inevitability. He made all these traps and filters for C137. The Diane bomb spider thing having the pink diane killing bomb tubing on the side of its head (credits for catch on this to @Trucknoisettes on this one in a private chat we had post episode) which likely predates the omega device, something others who had their Diane’s dissolved in a green fizzle likely wouldn’t recognise.
Rick also recognised the device “he built it again.” (It does make me wonder with the gap between Rick’s Diane getting bombed and all Dianes getting wiped, is this the almost death encounter Rick had that Unity knew of? Did Rick confront him the first time the omega device was made and fail? Has Prime been making the hunt ever more elaborate over time to force Rick to become more to overcome it?)
The eldritch goo trap slide having bars of different heights for each participant seen here and an addition here that seem to be measuring and filtering the Ricks that get this close. C137s was one of the highest of all of them, so what was it measuring? Maybe, it was looking for someone who matched himself. Prime. He always calls other Ricks inferior or lesser. But I think this just supports that it’s always been about that same level thing. Because deep down Prime really did want to hold on to that person who met him as an equal, and he never did let go (leaving clawmarks in everything you love huh Prime? Just like Rick does.) (Also interestingly another top scorer for the Prime slide bar height is the guy who said attachments are death. Hmm, interesting thing we’ve heard about the Rickest Rick, who lacks these. Wonder who “died” this ep too.)
What the trap voiceover says at the start also does seem kinda bitter.
“If you’re seeing this, you’re me. Except less. But you acted like you were better so I killed your beloved Diane, partly to devastate you, mostly so I only had to record one message.“
The trap itself is all inescapable odds. Except for someone like Prime, or again someone on his level. To be fair Rick did have Evil Mortys help here, in the form of EMs beyond the curve portal gun and Rick’s own combined with the eldritch prime clone goo. But I think Rick wouldn’t have survived this alone, because I think at this stage, Rick wasn’t ready to face Prime, not by Prime’s standards. Rick even did say that no one has escaped this before and he likely wouldn’t have either alone. The goo gave him what currently seems to be the final showdown location. Meaning Rick should be “ready” for it. The top filtered Rick.
It’s also likely this is how Prime knew it was “wife guy” or c137 who made it through. Maybe from both the goo trap slide readings and the fact he only ever expected c137 to survive to the bitter end and have the ability to seek him out. Because he knows he would be able to figure this all out, and to him, he (Prime) and Rick are the same. It was all incredibly personal, so it only fits that this lesson is incredibly personal and bitter too. 
By removing every one of Rick’s family members from existence like he did Diane, he’s removing all possible distractions from Rick becoming just like him where the only person left will be himself “the only person we like”, where his only other remaining irrational attachment left is Prime. It was all about this imo, reinforced by being bitter of Rick taking a holier than thou family man approach. And this is supported by what he says to Rick. 
“Admit it, you would have been me. I just walked into your garage, before you walked into mine.”
You would have been me. Prime believes that they are so fundamentally alike that this was inevitable, they are two forms of the same person to him, in the closest possible meaning of it. That even without his intervention, Rick would have left just like he did. 
So it does make me think, is Rick, himself, the only other person Prime has felt such a deep and meaningful connection to, someone who gets him, thinks like him, helped him to invent and create and become more? Is Prime actually some twisted obsessive parallel of self love to Rick’s self hatred and loathing? 
This parallels so nicely with the Beths too, I know it was discussed that the Beths are a nice parallel of self love and acceptance to Rick and Primes self loathing. But I think Prime is also a form of self love, just the over the top unhealthy kind, because Ricks struggle with love, a lot. It’s never healthy, i.e. attachments motif again I think? I also wonder if Rick does truly resent so much of himself? Like did he resent his initial attachment to Prime and cut it off? Did he resent his life back then and even now? It sure seems like it. Rick is just as broken but in the polar opposite direction. I don’t think his self loathing starts or ends with Prime, but it’s part of him, and he needs to learn to accept himself and others on a huge scale. Is this part of the lesson? Love is such a tricky concept to Ricks over and over and a very selfish one.
“What’s your life without me?” And “You’re welcome by the way, I made you, I showed you infinity.” 
I mean this is just hurt all over, he’s both calling out Rick for how much he’s dedicated to the hunt, decades of his life chasing Prime and also another cry for reason I think. Because when they were together, it was likely so so good, they were limitless together. At least to Prime. He literally did make this outcome of Rick. Bombing Diane? Erasing all others? It was all to stop Rick from crawling back to this idealised holy grail of family life, and maybe also prove that Rick made the wrong choice, because without Prime, without the hunt, without portals and everything they did together, what’s left, and can he even return to it now?
“and this is what you do with it? Hang out with my grandson, raise echoes of my daughter.”
Because Prime knows how the Diane/family life story ends, he lived it, he knows how Rick felt, or at least he knows how he felt at least and those are the same thing to him. 
That noise Prime makes at the end, yeah he was laughing it all off because you know he’s not weak and sentimental right? Uh huh. All those Diane bots are just reminders of how he can’t let it go either. He erased her but still holds on to using her as a weapon because he knows it will hurt Rick, not giving mind to how much he’s still hurting himself over it all by not letting go. But that final sound and his pained flinching, he wasn’t laughing anymore, he was just hurting. I think he was hurting something fierce that entire scene, because he pushed Rick on this path, to force him to see what he did and still does, and yet again, for a second time. Rick rejects it.
This absolutely ruins me. Prime was probably hurting this whole time, because he was hurting Rick but by proxy, if they are the same. He was hurting himself. This is mildly shown in his moment of throwing slow mobius in the omega device. 
“Yeah this hurts me too.”
He didn’t go straight for the jugular and use a Beth or even Jerry which struck me as weird but I think it was to slowly prove a point to Rick, one by one as they disappear, because his intent was only Rick would make it through and then, alone together, he’d tear it all down until Rick finally learned the lesson, see his point of view, and if he still didn’t, which he seemed to think would be the case. He’d kill him.
Prime was willing to throw it all away to bring Rick back to him and to prove his point. Because that mattered to him like no other. Despite constantly grouping him as a lesser Rick previously everything post filter trap was personal. He ended up putting Rick through all that pain and torment as a wakeup call. Yet. In the end Rick didn’t and still rejects him, and rejects himself. This version of himself. What does it leave him with? 
Prime wasn’t afraid to die, and was laughing through it all, so I do wonder, is he that convinced he knows Rick, that he will somehow regret it, and maybe try to undo it? Is there something else at play? Or is this just a final knife in the gut to Rick, that he knows Rick will know he was right in the end when it’s too late. 
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icedragonlizard · 5 days
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My new & updated take on Marx's dynamics with Taranza and Susie
Back then, I used to headcanon Susie and Taranza both hating Marx, which made me not in the boat of "Wave 3 + Marx" friend group.
I... uh... changed my mind! I take it back, lol. I've changed some headcanons of mine, and nowadays I actually do see those two getting along with him. I've mentioned about it here.
I'm now indeed in the boat of Wave 3 + Marx friend group! Congrats to Magolor that his three besties can actually friggin' get along in my updated verse now after the changes.
This is a big post so I'm going to put a 'Keep reading' tag down below if you're curious to see how I updated these dynamics.
Allow me to first talk about how I now view the dynamic that Marx and Taranza have going on.
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They came together over both being fellow magic-using trickster buddies of Magolor.
Taranza is, at times, a genuine goofball. He's good-humored, has a killer smile, and has the capacity to be incredibly smug. His ego may have been quite damaged from what happened at the ending of Triple Deluxe, but his smug streak is slowly but surely coming back.
He's easily good-humored enough to become pals with Marx. These two can and will collaborate on some absurd hijinks.
They've 100% simultaneously eaten watermelons and spat out the seeds onto other people before. And they'd totally do it again.
But despite getting along well and cooperating in mischief, these two also have a... cain instinct sort of thing going on. Taranza has a comparatively more chill dynamic with Magolor, but he's sort of in a mutual "I'd love to beat them up just because I can!" dynamic with Marx. There's a friendly rivalry between these two.
They sometimes argue over petty stuff, eager to dominate each other in arguments. There are also times where they prank each other... and believe it or not, Taranza has out-pranked Marx on occasion. He gloats about it every time, saying "I'm the better prankster now!", but then Marx is quick to remind Taranza that most of his mischief is mild and inadequate, and that out-pranking him are just outlier instances.
If they're both feeling especially unhinged, then they can and will bite each other. Callback to this post LOL. They've been competitive over "I'm the better biter!" and don't worry, Taranza isn't venomous, so Marx is not in danger. They do these bite fights in good fun, but man they can get really comically unhinged.
It's also worth mentioning that Taranza is much better at having standards than Marx in terms of mischief. Marx just gets ahead of himself in causing literal chaos. Taranza, as silly as he can sometimes be, is more careful in causing mischief. He will absolutely stop Marx from going too far. Out of the people that stop Marx from going off the rails with mischief, Taranza is one of the more adamant ones about it... and that itself causes some argumentation between the two, as Marx is bold enough to roll his eyes and an instigate an argument when he gets stopped by him.
So yeah, there's some drama that goes on in this dynamic. But despite that, Marx and Taranza do like each other and do appreciate each other's friendship. And if nothing else, Marx actually has the courtesy to try to cheer Taranza up when he catches him being sad or upset... by saying things that'd make him laugh. Sometimes he goes overboard with this and so it might not always work, but it's the thought that counts I think.
There are times where Marx teases Taranza and asks him if he "has a thing for strong, scary women". This is because Taranza's best alive friend is Susie, and he's also pretty good friends with Zan Partizanne. To be fair, Susie and Zan can both easily go in the "strong, scary woman" boat with Sectonia, so Marx is not entirely wrong LOL.
It's also a little bit ironic because Marx really likes Francisca for her type of unhinged.
Almost every time Marx visits Taranza in his home in the Royal Road castle, he enters by jumping through one of the windows instead of showing up at the door like everyone else does. What a little shit. But hey, Taranza appreciates the company! He's overall glad to have Marx around.
Gonna be real, Taranza would absolutely do that same jumping-through-window thing to Marx. But the problem there is that Marx does not have an actual home as he's technically homeless, LOL. I guess Marx wins in that department.
Taranza showed Marx around all of the islands of Floralia. It was a fun time. They both clowned on Pyribbit one time when they visited the Floralian island of Endless Explosions.
Okay that's all I'm sharing for that dynamic. Now it's time for me to talk about my updated dynamic that Marx has with Susie.
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This is easily the most unhinged dynamic out of all the dynamics of the "Wave 3 + Marx" quartet.
The things that Marx and Susie have going on is... LMAO. This a rather mean-spirited friendship; they bully each other a whole bunch without pulling punches, but they're also a frighteningly powerful duo for when they both feel like teaming up to cause some hijinks. A lot of stuff that happens between these two just screams unhinged!
The "Wave 3 + Marx" quartet already has some cain instinct relationships going on... Magolor and Susie like to butt heads for enrichment, while Marx and Taranza do the same to each other. But I think Marx and Susie is easily the most intense out of the cain instinct dynamics out of the quartet. The most arguments that happen within this quartet are easily coming from between these two. They've absolutely argued about clockwork stars before. Callback to this post.
Although since I made that post before I changed my headcanons to make these two friends, maybe the arguments are just somewhat less intense than that example. Susie technically DOES consider Marx to be insufferable in my verse, just not in a "I actually hate him" sort of way now. More like the 'friendly' sort of viewing one as insufferable.
Susie's dynamics with Magolor and Marx are similar in many ways. They both love to tease, prank and argue with her, and she's brash enough to all those things to them right back. She does have fun doing it, which is a good chunk of the reason why she likes them. They're also the two people that drag her out of her comfort zone to introduce more fun into her life.
It's just that she does the "friendly fighting" stuff with Marx more intensely than with Magolor. Magolor is somewhat more chill by comparison and also does some fun technology collaboration stuff with Susie. Meanwhile, Marx and Susie often don't hold back when picking on each other. Someone has to calm them down when it happens.
But despite bullying each other a lot... at the end of the day, they're still friends. They actually have some mad respect for each other over the fact that they're not afraid to play dirty. Their friendly fighting is part of the reason why they're drawn to each other sometimes, as they're practically impressed by each other's audacity. There are times where it makes them decide to team up and troll other people on occasion.
In fact, Marx actually stokes Susie's ego sometimes. He's completely unfazed by any of the weird and unhinged lab creations that she's done. He actually eggs her on to do messed up things because he's a big fan of messed up things. Not kidding, when he learned about what happened to Meta Knight during the HWC invasion on Popstar, he literally said "Wow, holy shit. I'm impressed by the fact you did that. That was radical!" because he's a sicko.
Taranza or someone else has to slap Marx upside the head for encouraging Susie. She's being reigned in by Kirby, Taranza and sometimes Magolor who are working on making her a better person. Stop encouraging her to do bullshit, Marx! Thankfully, she's more inclined to listen to Taranza than to Marx because she's closer to the former, but that doesn't change the fact that the jester still manages to feed her ego. This is why their cain instinct relationship is actually helpful, so she's not super inclined to let him influence her too much, despite her pride being boosted by him.
Marx is allowed to visit the HWC's headquarters (where Susie lives) under the condition he does not cause any mischief or chaos. He complies, but instead just tells the Haltworkers a lot of jokes. He often gets away with it, but there were a few instances where Susie had to tell him to stop when it got overboard.
This is a very interesting friendship, all in all. They playfight a lot, but that's part of the charm and part of why like each other LOL. And like said earlier, Marx (alongside Magolor) has dragged Susie out of comfort zone many times to implement more fun into her life. He's generally not a good influence on her, but that's the one good thing he did to her. Susie can thank him for that. She'll give him credit there.
-----
So yeaaah I'm now officially a "Wave 3 + Marx" friend group truther.
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We should call this group something else for some convenience.
Maybe call it the "Magogang"? I sincerely wouldn't be shocked if Magolor himself tried to call it that. It's him and his three besties, after all. What do you think? If Magogang doesn't cut it, what should we call this group?
Concluding this post now as it's already very long. Thanks for reading if you did!
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jitterbugjive · 5 months
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So, some people may have noticed this but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bring attention to it and I wanted people to just assume it was someone theorizing. But it appears someone from my ex friend circle whom I had trusted with certain details of how Discord Whooves would end decided to stoop to a lower than low level and ruin the ending for anyone who stumbled on their posts that had been made on a blog made specifically to post spoilers and tag them with common tags Discord Whooves uses. I’m sure it was out of sheer spite towards me and the people who dared to support my work.
Saying bad things about me and things I’ve done and said, okay that’s justifiable. But going out of their way to take something I once trusted them with because I thought we were close friends, and then throwing it out for the world to see out of revenge against me and anyone following me? That’s just petty, immature, and a really low blow to make. Even if I really hated someone, I would never reveal their harmless secrets to the world just to get back at them. There’s a chance to be the better person, and at least have some code of ethics to know when it’s going too far. I deserved to be called out. I didn’t deserve to have my 12 years of work undermined by a vindictive person who can’t move forward, and my fans didn’t deserve it either because they are not even involved in this drama.
There is a point where revenge goes too far and one crosses over into just being villainously cruel.
It’s sad, and really pathetic that someone thinks they have to do everything in their power to screw me over in some way instead of trying to actually recover and get past the point of obsession over wanting to get back at me all the time.
I’m sorry the whole world isn’t against me like you want it to be. I’m sorry a lot of people believe in recovery and the fact that I feel terrible enough already about my shitty actions in the past and am doing everything in my power to avoid anything like that happening ever again. I’m sorry I’m not being bombarded by hoards of angry people calling me names and telling me to kill myself. I’m sorry my feeling horrible isn’t enough to satiate you and all you want is to see me suffer.
It’s been years now. YEARS. For the sake of your own mental well being, just cut me out of your life completely and stop obsessing over me. You already won. I am constantly in a state of panic thinking of this shit and how else it’s going to come and bite me in the ass. I lost the comic website I depended on, I’ve lost a huge chunk of my readership and no longer really have my ‘popular’ status. (very rarely get fan art, not being bombarded by asks constantly, no longer receive fan mail, original projects aren’t catching on very well) Selling commissions has gotten increasingly more difficult. My insomnia is worse than ever and I have to take heavy duty sedatives just to sleep because my mind won’t stop spiraling about this stuff. I cannot go a single day without feeling guilt, regret, self hatred, and doubt and wishing hopelessly that I just never did those things. I have severe trust issues and have almost no one I can feel comfortable enough sharing anything personal or story related with which was just made even WORSE by these recent actions, and I haven’t been able to form new bonds with anyone in years either.
I know I hurt you badly, I know what I did was incredibly wrong and irresponsible, and I don’t know how it’s affected you over the years but this rage and anger is not good for anyone. I don’t hate you. I just want you to be able to move on and learn to be healthy and happy and no longer stuck thinking about me and how much you hate me and want me to fall. I don’t want to be hurting you by just existing and trying to move on with my own life, and I wish there was something- ANYTHING I could do to bring you peace.
But the only one who can ultimately bring you peace is yourself. So you can keep on trying to claw and bite and drag me down with you, or you could be the better person and try to just move forward and put the past in the past where it belongs.
I’m not mad. I’m just incredibly disappointed. I would have thought you were better than this, but I was wrong. I was wrong to ever even trust you as a friend, and I wish we were never friends to begin with, or even ever met, and I’m sure you feel the same way.
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theidiotwhowrites · 16 days
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Cold Hearted Aristocrat
Byakuya Togami x Fencer Reader
Equals
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(Story is related to this post I made, lol Togami won by a landslide)
Warning;
Rude comments, Classism, Pre Despair Arc, Reader comes from a financially unstable household (broke), Rivals to lovers (slow burn), Reader with a fencing background, Slow start, Fighting (not with fist), Multipart. Kinda petty Reader (Aren't we all tho?)
You have been warned
--------------------------------------------------
Hope's Peak Academy
was the most prestigious private institution were anyone could go to, fortunately, you we're accepted but for you, it was a bittersweet moment.
Everyone praised you you all you could think about was leaving your life behind
Fencing is what you had that didn't let you down and now it would have been thrown aside.
You finally felt like you did something, made your family proud but it didn't feel right.
All those days you've practiced for your upcoming tournament felt like a waste.
Sleep, School, Fencing, Rinse and Repeat It was routine, the thought of breaking from it didn't sit right with you.
It wouldn't for anybody yet. You were supposed to be grateful and not "whine" about it but how could you when what you held dear was getting stripped away you weren't an Ultimate with a mind-blowing talent; Ultimates are what the school called their most gifted and breathtaking students,
(Your fencing skills weren't all that)
Unlike them it didn't change lives, it didn't inspire hope and technically you also weren't a 'Proper Reserve Course' student by definition, being that you didn't pay your way in.
Maybe the school's leader board took pity on you and accepted only because of your academics.
Maybe they have an ulterior motive.
Nobody Knows.
Standing in front of the tall building, blue pillars from behind peak out catching the corner of your eyes.
You walk through the gates but that was 2 months ago..
Now you lie awake in your dorm, boring and plain are the decorations. The only spark it has is what you added which wasn't much since you weren't able too.
The days passing by started turning into mirrored images of the last.
It is better than wondering about what you were going to eat today or if there's any water or something added to the unpredictable chaos of poverty .
You weren't your classes top student.
(mostly given that the one's that were bribed the teachers into giving them better marks)
Or had close friends of any kind from the school.
You simply laid low. Invisible.
Staying in the background, with the spotlight never gracing your face for no longer than a second...
...Till
The speakers called your name. Echoing throughout the empty halls. The stares from the others you didn't see, you felt, buried in the back of your skull.
All eyes were focused on you while you packed your things and said your temporary goodbyes.
Sprinting, you rush towards the headmaster's office. Slowly knocking on the door, opening it with shaky hands.
"Don't worry, you're not in trouble" Says the headmaster; Jin Krigri, next to his right sits another man one that's quite unfamiliar,
"Before your arrival, the school did a background check on you as we do with all our students."
He shifts his chair
"And I was informed that you had done extra curricular activities so too make you feel more welcomed and I took it upon myself to give you that chance again".
Endorphins filled with excitement lace through your veins. This was your redemption, a second chance. The thought of it makes you wanna shout for joy. You felt like you were overflowing with bliss and swimming in happiness.
If you signed up, another competition would be in your grasp. To be able to do what was taken from you. Being awarded, adored, standing infront of a stage whilst the crowd cheers for you, holding a medal you earned.
It's almost to much to bare.
Almost.
"Why?" You question. I didnt make sense, there has to have some repercussion. Opportunities like theses don't come without them. There is something that looking lurk beneath such a pretty offer.
A faint smile crosses the stranger's lips as Mr Kirigri speaks up again.
"I did expect that, you, are a smart student after all. In return all I ask is if you continue your fencing journey with a new coach..." He gestures to his right.
"Coach Tsukuda" The man interjects, standing up from his chair before calmly walking over, putting one of his hands in front of him.
Hesitantly, you shake it.
Mr Tsukuda's, hands are rough to the touch, lacking any moisture with it. Bumpy like an unrepaired road, It's an unpleasant feeling against your own but you don't feel the need to decline.
To not be impolite, of course.
"It's is pleasure to meet you" He remarked.
"Ahem" Mr Krigri clears his throat, drawing attention back to him.
"As I was saying, if you choose to make the conscious choice to accept this proposal by joining our fencing club, all ask in return is if you compete in a tournament overseas with your fellow members, you as well as them to talk about the school in a positive light. Too nudge our reputation in the right direction."
He puts heavy emphasis on the word right.
In other words Mr Krigri wants you to make the school look good. It was nothing short of unsurprising. Playing only a pawn in the time consuming game of social climbing.
You agreed to such conditions. Being the schools talking puppet for a moment in time is better than the constant agony of boredom and longing for excitement. Some may disagree but it is a price willing to be payed.
The next day painfully went by.
Seconds turned into minutes.
Minutes turned into hours and at this rate you felt like you were going to rip your hair out by the roots as the hands of time perceived to moved slower and slower and even slower.
The bell rings, ending your torment.
Lazily, you turn the metal handle mounted on the wooden door, walking inside.
Yanking the strap of the duffle bag, destined to be forgotten before today, pulling it over your shoulder, leaving from whence you came.
Hope's peak was undoubtedly beautiful. A perfect muse for photography. However it's only flaw are the stairs, You trance your index finger over the matte black railing. It is such a tedious experience but how else were you going to get there?.
After what felt like forever, you stand before the Gymnatorium.
The temporary room for the fencing club. It calls your name like a siren song.
Spacious
It's the first thing you notice, the room is elegant yet simplistic. Gym equipment neatly placed in the corners of the room.
Everyone talked in there own flock, mingling with their friends. Selectivity amongst others. Everyone except one.
Silently reading on a bench with a scowl on his face. Blonde hair falls to his face as a white gloved hand fixes his hair. For a second they looks up, his eyes connecting with yours.
The door behind you creaked behind you, ripping you from your thoughts. Making you look at the at the source of the sound
Coach Tsukuda stands in front of the door, he signals you to come closer. A sense of unease washes over you.
"You're here" He says, his voice lacks surprise, simply pointing out facts. He pauses to think of his next words.
"How good would you say you were at fencing before now?" Odd.
You shrugged. Doubt clouds your next judgement.
You thought you were good but are you?. Are you actually or were the people you were surrounded with weren't any better?. Questioning your abilities.
"I don't know, good I guess" Was your response. Being humble about your talents. Maybe they were good but I didn't earn you a title. You still weren't an ultimate.
"Why do you ask?" You added. Not really sure where he was going with this.
"I've been thinking. That's our best fencer-" Coach points at the blonde on the bench, who continues to read. Not noticing that he is the object of your conversation.
"He thinks he lacks any competition and truth be told he's not wrong and you haven't show cased your skills to me, go and put on your gear, I'll be back to you in a second"
You oblige. Putting on your gear you notice, it's tight.
You are still able to move somewhat comfortably but it's feels strange. Perhaps it's from the length of time you haven't worn it or you just need a new one. You toss your uniform in your bag.
Out of the changing rooms. You see Mr Tsukuda who stands next to the boy on the bench, signaling you to come towards them. Well he's off of the bench now so you can't call him that anymore. You should ask what his name is.
Standing on the safety mat, it's a peculiar felling under your shoes.
Mr Tsukuda's gestures to you
"This is who you will be fighting against, nothing drastic, best of five hits. "
The coach steps to the side and get step forward, to the boy.
He looks you up and down. Sapphire eyes studying your body. Judging every inch of you.
The tension is thick. To distract from it, you try to introduce yourself.
"Uhhh, Hi my name is-" Try, he cuts you off.
"I know who you are, I have not the energy to entertain this discussion you plan on conjuring with me, commoner. Let's get this over with. You will lose either way."
His tongue is razor sharp, cutting into you, deep. Dripping with distain.
What is his problem? Did he wake up on the wrong side of life or something? He had not only rejected your advances but as well as insulted you in the same breath.
Tough Crowd.
So sure that he's better. It doesn't matter t you who does but now you want to, to win, simply push it in his face. To mess with his sense of arrogance.
You scuff at his remark. Glaring at his monotone expression.
He grabs a what seems random to be a random épeé however it has a interesting design, one you haven't seen before.
Like any sport fencing has rules, mostly with its equipment. Every fencing sword has it own set of rules. Foil, only being able to touch your competitor torso. Saber, allowing to hit your opponent waist up, only. However the Éppé is the easiest to remember, having free range.
Grabbing your éppé, you get in stance. He makes one last swift movement he puts on his mask.
"Start!" The words echo through your ears. With quick pace he lunges towards you. You raise your blade. Swords clashing together, stepping back. Maintaining momentum, dodging his attacks. The tip of the blade touches you chest. "I suggest you give up, to prevent the shame of your inevitable loss."
"Shut up...." You mutter under your breath, he seemed to be getting to you. "En garde!"
The contrast of your outfits becomes more clear. A dry taste fills your mouth. Adrenaline rushes through your brain. Under your gloves, sweat drips from your palms. Your next moves are calculated. You swung, A slash against his waist stops him in his tracks. Gaining you a point.
"Wanna give up?" You taunted, mocking his previous statement.
You can hear his teeth clench under his mask as he made his next attack. You move your blade. Determined. Both blades swing left to right.
Your eyes scan over the room, glassed over. The sleeves feel like they dig into your wrist.
Faces close to each. Weapons stranded against each other. Looking for an opening. A thud rings out, as he lands to the floor. The sound of heart beat fills your ears.
You hit him with one final strike, simultaneously the metal of sword hit your leg with force.
"Take break" Coach says.
He gets up from the floor, brushing the dirt off of him. Dropping it without a care, leaving.
Your hands feel sore to the touch. He comes to a sharp halt. Standing there before he utters. For the first time in his life he has met and equal. A person on the same level as him.
"Byakuya Togami...."
"Excuse me?" You says, taking off your mask.
"Byakuya Togami.....it's my name, considering you asked earlier. However do not think for a moment this means I am willing to fraternize with you."
Oh.... So he's not so cold after all?
... To be continued ...
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Should I continue this?
I can't believe this took me a month, it feels like nobody write about fencing even though it's such an interesting sport and I say this purely off research. Where I live we don't have that so I have no prior experience.
And when people write about fencing in media, it's very overlooked. It's kinda like a place holder for time rather than the main plot point but whatever.
Also shout out to the people who supported me on this long adventure. (You know who you are)
Thank you for reading, it is really appreciated. (◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍)⁠ノ⁠♡
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