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oh-my-may · 9 days

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LET'S TALK HSR PENACONY 2.1 (or rather, have my impressions and thoughts on the main quest and some other stuff)

First of all, I went out of it with so many thoughts and emotions. This is not gonna be spoiler free (duh).

ACHERON IS SO FUN TO PLAY. Like, really really fun. Finally Simulated Universe is not an annoying pain anymore, and much quicker too. Thanks to a good friend of mine her relics aren't too bad either. She's already so fun to play with Black Swan, can't wait for a Kafka rerun now 💀

Aa for the story now: I FUCKING KNEW MIKHAIL WAS THE WATCHMAKER. I KNEW IT. Now to wait for them to confirm that Misha is connected to him, either as a ghost of his past self or a child or some sort. It's the only way.

It's also really refreshing to see that HSR is giving 4star characters significant roles in the story. First it was Tingyun, now it's Gallagher (and maybe Misha? I'll die on this hill).

Loved the pacing. Story was quite long and lots of gameplay but didn't feel overwhelming at all, probably because we didn't just stick to the MC the whole time. The characters split up and we didn't just follow the express crew but also Aventurine, I really loved that. It felt so dynamic and immersive.

WELT AND ACHERON INTERACTION. BRO. The way I gasped the whole time. We still don't have a canon confirmation of how Raiden Mei and Acheron or just generally HI3rd and HSR are connected but it's sp clear that Acheron is by far the closest connection yet. So sp excited to find out more about this. Raiden Mei, I'll love you in every universe.

Aventurine and Ratio are also very interesting to me. What does Ratio gain by involving himself in all of this? What does he get out of it? Anyway, their little journey through the mansion was nice. GIGANTIC RATIO. The kinda stuff my dreams are made of tbh.

Generally the whole Aventurine story got me right from the beginning. He's generally one of the most interesting characters to me (although this game has plenty of them). I gotta admit of course I was suspicious of him (as one should be of all Penacony characters) but I liked him nevertheless. This patch supported my feelings, my GOD HE xkdjjdjdjd. The way I cried. Since I played the story so late ofc I saw some spoilers/screenshots of his backstory but I never expected it to hit me this hard. Just wow. His ending, too. It's so bitter. Kinda hope we get to see him again, since he'a mot really dead, right? Just in some limbo.

His boss fight was really something. Not a lot of different patterns, but I still had to try a bunch of different teams, since you're kinda fucked even with just a single single target character in your party. Had to unbench Clara, and I gotta say, she came through for me. I might not have used the most meta team, but it worked soooo...

And just as I was glad I had managed the fight they hit you with that big cut scene, woah. AND THEN WITH THE FIREFLY SCENE? AND SUNDAY????

First of all, apparently it was common knowledge among the community since last patch that Sam was Firefly. Yeah, I gwt it bc of the leaks and stuff. But I'm just so confused as to HOW. Like HOW and WHY and just generally HUH. I can't wait for them to explain this connection (if you're reading this and you wanna spoil me with non-confirmed stuff then leave it, please, I might as well wait another 3 weeks).

And then Gallagher and Sunday... Just as I was admiring Sunday's beauty because he might legit just be one of the most gorgeous male character designs... THEY KILL HIM. When I tell ypu I was SHOOK. Mouth agape and all. Didn't know what to do. What a cliffhanger.

Now I don't have a real theory as to what I think will happen. If I remember correctly they said the main story will stretch until 2.3, right? I really wonder what else will happen, the story already seemed so huge this patch and I really wonder how it'll conclude. There's still so many questions and stories. Might add on to this post later when I have more thoughts.

Also Aventurine's banner just dropped but as of writing this I haven't pulled yet. Might add a little post later about it.

For now, have some screenshots I took during the story:

ALSO I GOT AVENTURINE. SECOND 50/50 WIN IN A ROW IN THIS GAME HAVE I FINALLY BROKEN THE CURSE. Now for the long and treacherous road of farming his trace mats and relics ... Since I never really prefarm 🥲

A pic I took in my excitement. Forgot the screenshot button exists.

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rolloollor · 7 months

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Hey, I was wondering what made you like Mallerollo?

Sure thing, I can explain! There'll be spoilers if you haven't read the event in full, but I can't really get into the nitty gritty without spoilers, so… get ready for rambling.

I was hooked from the first time Rollo screamed "Malleus Draconiaaaa!" in the prologue to the event.

Malleus is isolated as a character aside from people in Diasomnia, but their relationships with Malleus have always felt very familial to me and I can't ship any of them with him. I can't really picture him in a relationship with anyone in NRC, either. He just floats about, helping people sometimes, bullying people other times, but he's not super close to them. I have no interest in Yuu, shipping canon characters with OCs, or self-inserting, so that's also out for me. Leona and Malleus are probably the closest in terms of relationship dynamics that I like, but any 'feelings' (mainly negative) seem strong on Leona's side, but not on Malleus' side. It's too unbalanced for me.

So, when Rollo was announced, I thought that he would be a great opportunity for not only a Malleus ship, but to also present Malleus with someone who would antagonize him. And that's exactly what he did.

When Rollo finally deploys his plan, Malleus gets super pissed and yells, "I'll never forgive you, Rollo Flamme!!!" and that got me doubly on board. Rollo had tricked/outsmarted him. He didn't win in the end, but he had triumphed over Malleus more than any other human. That's pretty big considering I don't remember Leona's plan impacting Malleus at all. The event really improved Malleus' character in my mind since we got to see him struggle a little. He couldn't solve the problem with another show of overwhelming strength.

With Rollo, it seems like he was created with Malleus in mind. He hates magic, thereby making him conflict with Malleus. He invited Malleus to the event, he's old-timey, he has a connection to gargoyles (something Malleus has to be wildly jealous about), and he's a genuine threat. He made Malleus feel fear! With all this, of course Malleus is going to be curious about him. So, Malleus has strong feelings about Rollo and obviously Rollo fucking hates him at minimum, so there's intensity on both sides.

At the same time, Rollo's kinda more isolated than Malleus is, but by choice. People gravitate to Rollo and he spurns them. People avoid Malleus even though he would like to make a friend or two. Just an interesting contrast between them.

Another thing, Toboso knows what she's doing. She didn't have them dance together and promise to rendezvous beneath the bell just because. Obviously nothing will ever be canon, but come on. I legit could not believe they actually danced and talked for so long tbh, that is some crazy ship bait.

Malleus is an insanely powerful fae. Rollo is a cunning human with immense willpower. I think they bounce off each other really well and could make each other better, if given the chance. Malleus almost is magic in a sense--if the relationship developed to a certain point, I think he could ease Rollo's guilt regarding his brother and help him get over his hang-ups about magic. Rollo would act as someone who challenges Malleus (which he sorely needs, he is way too coddled) and maybe he could help him develop some empathy.

But them being toxic with each other is fun, too… Malleus is really fucking good at being toxic and I like exploring that side of things.

There are a lot possibilities for pining, for jealousy, for angst, for development, and just... all sorts of things.

Basically, I think both characters bring out what's interesting in the other and, as a pairing, have a fantastic potential for either growth or festering in toxicity. They also fit into tropes I like (lifespan differences, royal problems, lots of magic, enemies to lovers, etc...)

#rllr asks #mallerollo #glorious masquerade spoilers

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dontlookheswatching · 18 days

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Okay here are the doodles! They all feature Ben, in ways that can be seen as either friendship or as a ship, I dont mind what you see it as although a few I did make specifically to be seen as a ship, because while they aren't a canon couple in au, my god they are so adorable and I can't help but draw them anyways-😭

There will be some lore underneath the pictures, and also I'll discuss a little more about the relationship chart and character refs im working on afterward

Okay, lore time. Im not a big pokémon fan. Nor am I big on the pokepastas, which seem, to me, to have honestly spiraled into their own mini fandom on the sides of creepypasta, which is actually pretty cool, I'd love to explore more of it, but again, im not big on pokémon, I've only played like two or three games throughout my life, and I just can't find the interest to do it. My sincere apologies if my lore for Silver upsets anyone who is super big on Pokémon or pokepastas for not being accurate, but then again, that's what headcanons are for, things that aren't canon. I've tried doing little research and the closest thing I could come close to developing lore for Silver was 'Snow on Mt Silver'. Im not sure if its the same character or something entirely different, so bare with me as I say im merging the two ideas from each into one. Now, lets get this mess over with because I have no idea what I'm doing im kinda revamping my own lore as I write this😭

If anyone noticed, on the birthday chart I have, next to Silvers name, in parentheses, is the name;

Jae-Ing.

It doesn't sound like an American name, now does it? No, thats because, im my lore, Silver had a life before death, he isn't just a glitch in the coding and what not. He was Korean. Throughout the more I explain, the more resemblance you'll see in Ben's story, thus why they get together well, because they share a somewhat same experience.

Going to a private high school in Korea wasn't easy. At all. 'Jae' didn't have it eady, either. He had to have a job ontop of all the schoolwork he was required to do to help his mother pay off the payments for attending a private high school. His father is out of the picture, having died before Jae was even born. He and his mother were extremely close, and even though they struggled at times, they never let their bond break.

Jae was 16 the year he died. He was a big fan of Pokémon, owning every game possible and knowing every small detail. He was harassed and bullied for his interests, and was always considered a nerd, barely having any friends. He was considered an outcast, and was always excluded of things other students did. He was very intelligent though, and did well in school.

Of course, that didn't matter to the other students.

Nearing the end of the year, staff had presented a field trip, one that would last three days, to hike Mt Hallasan. It was winter, however, so the mountain was covered in snow, so students were told to be extra prepared and to be cautious and stay within their assigned groups and to NOT leave the trail.

Jae wasn't going to go, but his mother had insisted on it, saying it would be a fun experience, and that he deserves a break anyways. So he went.

Not having any friends is why the whole trip backfired on Jae's side.

He was paired with kids who had commonly made fun of him, and being on an exciting field trip was no excuse. They'd constantly steal his things, such as his small console he kept with him in which he'd play his favorite games on. Or sometimes jackets or blankets he so very needed.

He was miserable and wanted to go home, but it was too late to turn back by the time the though occured to him.

On the second to last night, when their group had finally managed to reach the top, they thought it'd be funny to fall behind their supervisor, to walk with Jae, who walked behind all of them, to suddenly act like friends, forcing them all to walk slower and slower until the supervisor was far enough ahead to where he didn't notice one of the girls start pushing him as they resumed their bullying tactics. She kept pushing and pushing, trying to get him to fight, but Jae wasn't the fighting time.

She got angry, and kept pushing, until, before someone could say something, she pushed him over the edge of the trail, down a steep hill.

They ran off.

Didn't look back, didn't bother to try and help him. Instead, they ran, not wanting to be caught at the scene.

The impact left Jae scratched up and bruised. One arm was broken. He couldn't get back up to the trail, especially with a broken arm. He tried to find a way down the mountain, a way to find help. But night fell quickly and made it impossible to see. The temperatures dropped. His limbs began to freeze as he got colder and colder. He kept his bag close, scared. Scared, alone, nearing death. He kept going until he physically couldn't. Until his body gave out and left him a lying heap in the snow.

He died. Cold. Frozen, black limbs. Alone, scared, wishing he stayed home with his mother. Oh, and how the news broke her when her sons body was eventually discovered.

His soul was sucked into his console, into the very game world he loved, due to dark magics of some sort that I might explain in another post.

He lost any memory of his former life. He didn't know why he was so sad, why he was always scared, why he didn't like the cold. He didn't have the answers to his questions. He still doesn't to this day, even after exiting the console by the force of Slenderman and with the help of Ben.

He is yet to remember his past. But perhaps for now its a mercy that he doesn't.

---

ANYWAYS yeah that's my take on Lost Silver. Its kinda shitty and definitely not canon but it's whatever.

Moving on, I finally have the icons done that I'll be using for the relationship chart!

All I have to do now is digitalize them, make the chart, and boom, it'll be done. FinaLLY. so expect that MAYBE later today or tomorrow, we'll find out and see which happens first.

Now, about the character refs. I plan on doing them for Ben(which is done), Jeff(Hes next), Toby, Liu, and EJ, as they'll probably be the most frequently seen on the blog.

I would like to mention the fact my ref for Ben was a total flop. Its quite saddening especially since I spent more than a day on it, but its in the past, and can't control everyone's preferences. Hopefully the ones in the future will be more appealing, and if not, oh well, that just means I've got work to do and revamping and redoing them, because there's always room for improvement. I'd like to thank everyone real quick for the support I've already received so far, because even if the ref was a flop, im still extremely grateful for everything else!

Anyways thats the end of my super long post thank you goodbye im going to sleep this was too much writing

#creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #ben drowned #art #creepypasta art #gaymer ramble #gaymer art #bendrowned #Lost silver #Ben drowned #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta fanart

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philosophicalparadox · 3 months

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For the ship ask! Amairin, either the ship or don't ship or both 💪

I do ship it but I didn’t always! This is gonna be fun

Do Ship: AmaiRin

Honestly TBOE your fanfictions made me ship it lol I was so blind to the possibilities until you opened my eyes. Well, that and the manga actually depicting their relationship a bit more but that happened later. When I saw Rin almost faint at the sight of him, I was like “hmmmmm? That’s not very typical of a Shonen Protagonist, must be something interesting going on in his head” even if that interesting thing was Pure Fear lol. And honestly that same scene made me really re-evaluate Amaimon when Shiemi shoved him aside and he was just like “what” and was actually pretty chill about it. I was soooo expecting him to flip his shit, but he was actually cool and pretty polite about it all things considered. Idk those two things crossed wires in my head and I started to see the light in which Amaimon was actually a decent-ish guy who just wrecked shit cause it was fun rather than because he was specifically malicious, and it made me see Rin differently too, made wiser by his experience instead of the usual shonen stupid. Somehow the intersection between those two perspectives sparked an interest in the ship for me.

Fave things about the ship is the visuals (c’mon we’re all horny here, I’ll admit it) and the overall chemistry as well as the…interesting, character dynamic they have. They’re not exactly Rivals, but they share a girl between them (Shiemi), they’re not precisely a Brother Dynamic, though there’s some elements of it I guess, and they’re not like Mortal Nemesis or even Competitive Friends though that leans the closest to what they are. They have a unique kind of almost-friendship based on mutual (ish) respect, and they can acknowledge each others strength without getting all upset about it, while also not hesitating to knock each other around for funsies. It’s…mature? I guess? In a way? Which is funny because they are SO not mature people lol but you bring em together and it’s like a maturity-brain-cell is complete and they can just…enjoy each others company. While also breaking each others bodies lol.

Unpopular opinion…hm. Well aside from the fact I do not at all consider it incestuous, because that’s not really how Demon Kin work, I’d say my most unpopular opinion is that Amaimon probably enjoys being a Sub for Rin at least occasionally, once he trusts him and acknowledges his power more respectfully. I imagine they switch off quite a lot in fact depending on who needs it more. And that they’re both brats about it at least sometimes lol.

Aaaaaand that’s all she wrote folks. Thank you for the ask @thebeingofeverything !

#my asks #philosophicalparadox answers #blue exorcist

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three-seperate-johns · 11 months

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Eight shows to get to know you :) I was tagged by @thetideseternaltune

I’ve taken the ‘getting to know me’ part to heart - I don’t even follow tags for all these shows on tumblr. They are not necessarily my favourite right now, nor are they the shows I write/read fanfic for.

In no particular order:

Numb3rs - I grew up without a tv, so numb3rs was the first show I really picked out for myself, and I started watching it when I was ~15. It’s the only show I’ve ever gone out and bought every season of for myself. It’s just a really solid monster of the week detective show, with subtle and charming characters who are not too closely involved in the plots they investigate. Which is exactly my jam. One of my friends watched Numb3rs and chatted with me briefly about it, but I’ve otherwise never fangirled over it with anyone. Even though I still count it as one of my favourite shows of all time 15 years down the track. I’ve actually never read fanfic for Numb3rs, and I know next to nothing about the making of. I wouldn’t recognise the names of the actors or any of the showrunners, which is actually my ideal media consumption experience xD

Buffy - First show I ever watched while surrounded by people who are obsessed with the show, and I had an excellent time with it. It was interesting because all my friends were teenagers when they watched it for the first time, but I was in my early twenties, and it was really interesting to see where my experiences of the show diverged from theirs. I don’t usually read Buffy fanfic, and some of my Buffy opinions are pretty controversial :P I think seasons 4-6 are the best, and I love Riley which seems to really bother some of my friends xD

Fallet - This show is a fucking fever dream. It took me a whole episode to work out that it was a comedy, it had some real ‘Douglas Adams’ vibes at the end, which was fun. It’s a murder mystery set in sweden that uses a mix of swedish and english, and it is best described as ‘kooky.’ My only IRL friend who watched it (after much nagging) did so while slightly feverish with covid. They seemed to have a good time, but I would not recommend doing this xD It’s wild enough without the delirium.

Vera - the quintessential ‘slow moving, episodic, british murder mystery.’ Vera is awesome (especially in the early seasons) for just being really fucking good. My favourite thing about this show is the leading lady - Vera is a grumpy, frumpy, middle aged woman without a maternal bone in her body. I am so sick of women needing to be kind and selfless to be a protagonist.

VGHS - now for something completely different! It’s a show made by a youtube special effects guy about a high school where you learn to play videogames. And it made me cry. A death notification set to an in-universe laugh track? Sign me up! It’s mostly super goofy, and the main character is way less interesting than all his friends, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Probably the closest thing to a pure comedy I will watch, but it makes it oddly poignant moments all the sweeter. Also, 10/10 ending. I don’t read fanfic of it either, and these days I’m waaay too old for the characters personally. I definitely had a bit of a thing for the main character’s gf tho. Ngl.

Shetland - I do this thing where I avoid looking at fan content for a show if I’m enjoying it on its own merits, because I want to experience it without the brain rot. Kinda weird, but it works for me. Shetland is funny because I could immediately see a pairing I wanted to explore, but I waited years for the show to go downhill before I let myself open ao3. Luckily, I think they caught up with the books, and changed hands around season 4ish, because the quality nosedived and I have read and written so many things for Jimmy/Duncan, and do not intend to stop xD I actually haven’t had the heart to watch the latest season, because I don’t think I’ll enjoy it all that much. Cool theme song though! And everyone should watch the early short seasons.

Capitani - I hate the hays code. And not just because of the moralising and the homophobia - it makes storytelling predictable. The impact it continues to have on all english speaking media is never more obvious than when you watch something from another part of the world and are completely blindsided by the emotional arc. Capitani fucking killed me. I’ve read that Capitani is Luxembourg’s only globally successful media product. I don’t know if that’s true, but I wasn’t sure if Luxembourg was a country or a city before I watched it, so it’s probably not far from the truth. I now have a fun little rap song in Luxembourgish on my spotify playlist! It won my heart forever when they set up a joke and completed it four episodes later without any call backs. Imagine having that much faith in your audience! I would read the shit out of fanfiction of the fucked up love story between Capitani and Karla, but unfortunately, there is none :(

MASH - My ex step father owned every season of MASH on DVD, and when I was 14 my friend and I would rush to my house to watch them while having sit-up competitions. I don’t know why this was a fun activity for two 14 year old girls, but I have so many fond memories of this time. It was the first tv show I ever watched sequentially, and the first show I ever watched start to finish. It was also the reason I beat all the boys in my class when we had to do those fitness tests in PE! xD I’m personally a bigger fan of the show post-season 3 when they had the big tone shift. While there are definitely funny scenes, the image in my head when someone mentions MASH is always Charles smashing up his record player. So while it’s famous as a comedy, that’s not really how I remember it. I keep meaning to go look up the show on ao3, because I am sooo curious about what the common pairings are, and what kind of tone the fics take.

I had a lot of fun with this :) Thanks for tagging me! I’m way too shy to tag eight people, but would love to hear about the viewing past of: @republicofgaypirates @galadriel1010 @leliesblou @scullyverse @justplainsalty

#tag games?#im going to be honest i have no idea what this is called #numb3rs #buffy #fallet #vera #vghs #shetland tv #capitani #mash

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another-whump-sideblog · 1 year

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Jane’s Pets Chapter 75: Liam

TWs in the tags

Masterlist

“Tell me something about yourself. A story. Something nice. If you want.”

Ray joined you and Diya on a walk today. You have to go a bit slower so that they can keep up, but you don’t mind. They’re interesting to talk to.

“Hm… I was in my middle school’s performance of High School Musical 2 Jr. I only had a couple of lines, but that didn’t make it less fun. Well, I guess I wouldn’t know if being a lead was more fun, since I never got cast as a lead… It was fun, is my point. My dad came to every performance.” You feel… you don’t know. Bittersweet. “A lot of parents got their kids flowers, but he got me cotton candy, which was my favorite food at the time. And I made a lot of friends. What about you? Both of you.”

Diya clasps Ray’s hand. “The day I met Ray. Well, they didn’t go by that, then, but that’s not important. It was the same day Jane killed Irving, actually. When Barron introduced us I totally thought they hated me at first, but they invited me to do stuff with them and talked to me a lot, and I realized that’s just how their face always is, and it doesn’t mean they don’t like me.”

Ray puffs. “I’m surprised you remember anything from that day. You were so anemic you could barely stand.”

Diya laughs. “It’s a bit fuzzy.”

“You were trying so hard to be friendly when you could barely follow a conversation. I never wondered if you didn’t like me, even when we first met.”

“Well yeah! I like everyone! Except Irving. And Jane. And Orchard…”

“I didn’t think you liked me when we first met.” You volunteer.

“That was different! And I didn’t dislike you. Ray, it’s your turn. Tell us a nice story.”

Ray hums. “Me and my sister used to…. No.” They shake their head. “I want to tell a different story. Orchard had a friend that went by Star who was very nice to me. They explained to me what being non-binary is, and they’re the one who told me that Orchard was tricking me. They would also try to get me to accept gifts from them in exchange for a ‘favor,’ but I knew better than to get into more debt. Still, they were nice. The nicest faery I met. I’m sure there are nicer faeries, though. They just weren’t friends with Orchard. Now I have friends who are actually nice, so if I met Star again I probably wouldn’t like them as much. Compared to you two, Star was a manipulative asshole.”

Diya and you both laugh. Ray doesn’t swear very often.

Diya sighs happily. “I love you so much, Ray. Well, I love both of you, but… y’know.”

The conversation trails off. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, though. Just a nice walk with two of your closest friends.

—

“Hey, what about you, Barron? We all shared some stuff about ourselves while we were out walking. Do you have any nice stories you want to share?”

Diya grins. “Yeah, tell us a nice story! It can be made up if you’re having a lot of trouble remembering stuff today.”

“You don’t have to share anything if you don’t want to.” Ray adds.

“Hmm… it’s always hardest to remember stuff when I’m put on the spot. I guess meeting Ray was a nice story.”

Diya giggles. “That’s a popular answer.”

“Meeting all of you was nice, of course. But it was just me and Ray in this cabin for a while. Do you remember when I got you that massive box of documentaries?”

“I do. I learned a lot from those. I would watch and rewatch them while you were at work. I wanted to understand this time. I wanted to… fit, in this time.”

“Geez, I haven’t even thought about that. What was it like, leaving the fae realm to a completely different time?” You ask.

“I was mostly focused on getting help for my sister when I first left. I figured that with all the new technology, there must be a way to save her. I was wrong. Once I was able to focus on things other than panic, everything was very strange. I always felt as though I didn’t fit in my time. Even before I went into the fae realm. I could never quite figure out what was expected of me. I don’t fit in this time either, but now I have Barron to explain things.”

You had sort of assumed that Ray expressed themself so differently because of their time in the fae realm, but it makes sense for them to have always been like this, too.

“Still, I think it’s super cool that you’ve managed to adjust so well. I… don’t think I could do that.”

“I had a lot of help.”

Diya nods. “We’ve all had a lot of help.”

You did. And now, you’re well enough that you think you can pay it forward.

You can’t wait for Kitty and Puppy to be ready. All you want to do is take care of them the way Diya, Ray, and Barron took care of you when you needed it.

—

You wake up terrified. This is a relatively common occurrence, but more importantly, there are names on the tip of your tongue.

You scramble off the couch to get your notebook. You haven’t used it in a while, since you’ve gotten comfortable with your name, but now…

You scribble the names down before you forget. Kit and Dollie. That’s what you used to call them. Those are the last names Jane took from you.

All the things she purposefully made you forget are back where they should be. She lost and you won.

You’re suddenly very aware of the lack of a collar around your neck, which hasn’t happened in a while. Your heart pounds and pounds. You should probably try to calm down a bit before practicing writing those names.

You briefly consider waking the others up, but decide against it. You can tell them in the morning.

You pull out the knitting project you’ve been working on. You haven’t made progress in a bit, since it hurts your head, but it should be a good distraction until you can stop thinking about your nightmare and bare neck and how badly Jane would hurt you if she knew you remembered those names-

The scarf you’re making is bright yellow. The material is soft. The room is dark, which probably will speed up the process of getting a headache and make mistakes more frequent. You get up to turn on the light and then pick up the knitting again.

The scarf is yellow. Yellow is your favorite color. The fabric is soft, the kind of soft that catches on very dry skin, though luckily your skin is fine.

You’re fine. You focus on knitting until your head hurts and your breathing is even, and then you collapse back onto the couch and pass out.

—

You excitedly share the news during breakfast. “I remembered Puppy and Kitty’s names last night! Sort of. It’s not their real names, but I remembered what I used to call them and wrote it down.”

“That’s great!” Diya claps eir hands. “You should feel proud of yourself.”

“Oh, I just woke up at the right time during a nightmare.”

“But that means you subconsciously felt safe to think those names! Which is because of all the hard work you’ve done.”

You’re not sure that’s exactly how it works, but you’ll take it. You have been working hard to break old associations.

“Am I forgetting something?” Barron asks. "Why did you call the different names?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ve ever talked much about it, actually. Jane was trying to trick me into trusting her when she first took me, and calling the others animal names probably wouldn’t have helped with that. Then after I went into the basement tor the first time I kept calling them those names, and she didn’t like that, so she… she made them hard to remember, like she did with my name.”

Barron nods. “Oh, that makes sense. Yes, you should be proud of yourself.”

“Well, I don’t know how much it was just random chance that I remembered, but it does feel really good. Like… my brain is my own again.”

“That’s wonderful!” Diya says.

It really is, and you’re glad the others are as excited about it as you are. Well, Diya and Barron at least, but you’re pretty sure Ray is also excited for you.

“So… speaking of Puppy and Kitty,” you can’t quite say the names yet, only read and write them. “Have you checked on them recently, Barron?”

Barron nods. “I didn’t get a chance to speak to either of them. Things are… bad. Do you want to hear about it, or were you just wondering if they’re ready to be rescued?”

All the excitement of remembering what you used to call them drains out of you. “Tell me what’s happening to them. Please.”

Barron takes a deep breath. “Okay. ‘Puppy’ is kept in a muzzle except when she’s eating, and ‘Kitty’ is being drugged regularly.”

It’s not as bad as it could be. But it’s horrible and makes your chest hurt and makes you feel cold and you know you can’t just keep waiting for them to feel safe leaving because they won’t.

“We can’t wait any longer. We can’t. I can’t. I can’t wait any longer. This can’t keep going on like this. What do you think is the most likely to kill Jane?”

“…I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be dangerous to attack her while she has the others in her captivity?”

You clench your fists. “There’s a risk of them getting hurt as the result of us trying to hurt Jane. But every day they’re in that house they’re definitely getting hurt. It’s not fair to act like we’re protecting them by waiting, when that doesn’t make things better for them at all. You don’t have to come. I know it’s riskier than waiting for them to want to leave and it’s not fair of me to ask you to take on more risk than you already have.”

Ray doesn’t hesitate. “I’ll go with you if you decide to attack.” The others nod in agreement.

You swallow a lump in your throat. You don’t know what you did to deserve such great friends.

“Tha- uh, I appreciate that. Barron, is there any way I can use magic without being innately magical?”

“There’s magic in everything. Did I… not tell you anyone can become a mage?”

“Wha- no! I didn’t know that! In that case, I want to be a mage! Please.”

“Oh. I definitely did say all other magic is tied to species. I guess I thought that implied that being mage isn’t something genetic or innate, but yeah, I don’t know why I assumed that would be intuitive to you. I can definitely help you become a mage.”

You look at Diya and Ray. “Why haven’t you become mages? Why doesn’t everyone become a mage?”

Diya shrugs. “It’s a lot of work. Barron taught me a few things, and it’s… complicated. Magic responds strongly to intention, and I could never direct my intentions in the way mages seem to. Also, magic takes a lot of work.”

Ray nods. “There really wouldn’t be a point to learning it. I have everything I need and want. If that got taken away, doing magic would just make it easier for fae to find me.”

“As for why everyone doesn’t become a mage, well, one intention magic always responds poorly to is the intention to prove something, which makes widespread acceptance of magic impossible.” Barron says. “It’s not provable. If you show someone magic with the intention to prove it exists, it won’t work. And most people won’t believe in magic if it can’t be proven in replicable ways. I don’t often cast spells in public, but when I do people generally just look confused. ‘Magic is real’ is not most people’s immediate thought when they seem something weird, in real life or even something caught on video. The people who become mages are people who see magic, realize it is magic, and have the drive to teach themselves magic or find a mentor. And that’s not everyone.”

“I guess that makes sense…” Your stomach twists. “But… Jane showed me magic to prove that she had magic though. That’s the first thing she did when we met. I didn’t believe her, so she teleported a few feet away to prove she was magic.”

Barron’s eyes widen, but it quickly regains its composure. “That’s… not good. Are you sure that’s what happened? I believe you, but if there’s any possibility that you’re remembering wrong, or that she was teleporting for another reason, that would be good to acknowledge. Because if she isn’t bound by the rules of magic, I have no idea how we can stop her.”

“I guess I could be remembering it wrong.” You don’t want to think about the possibility that Jane doesn’t follow the rules of magic. “You will teach me, though?”

“Yeah. I mean, I have work today, but I can teach you some stuff when I get back.”

You suppose you can wait that long. Once you’ve leaned magic, you’ll go and save Puppy and Kitty. It shouldn’t take that long, right? A few weeks at most.

You don’t want Puppy and Kitty to have to wait for that long, and keep getting hurt for that long. But it won’t help them at all if you come unprepared.

You’re already liking this plan better than the old one. Instead of waiting for Puppy and Kitty to want to leave, you’ll be actively working towards a goal.

You’ll work on reading, saying, and hearing their names while Barron is at work, and then you’ll learn some magic. You’re going to save them. Everything is going to turn out okay.

—

“Okay, magic is actually pretty hard to learn, because magic works in annoying ways. Remember when I said magic doesn’t work if your goal is to prove something? Along with that, it also doesn’t work if your goal is to practice. In order to learn, you have to have a goal besides practice in mind for each individual spell.”

It’s starting to make more sense why Diya decided learning magic was too much work.

“That can’t be too hard to hack. The first thing I want to learn is teleporting, would that work if my goal was to get to the bathroom or something without walking?”

“If you could convince yourself that was your main goal, yes. But… teleporting spells take a while to prepare. I want to start with something easier.”

“Okay.” You will not say ‘every moment we spend here is another moment they spend suffering, so let’s prioritize accordingly,’ because that’d be rude.

Barron takes you to its room and opens one of the drawers of its dresser. It does not contain clothes. Instead, it’s filled with books, rocks, leaves, twigs, and even some jars of dirt.

“At the beginner level, magic is just a lot of memorizing. Most of what I’m going to have you do is memorize runes and what they represent, and the steps to the spells you want to learn. It’s kind of like learning music: at first, you’re just memorizing what lines and spaces are what notes, and how that matches up to your instrument, and how to play those notes. It’s only once you get good at that, and rhythms and other musical notation, that you can start the fun parts.”

Barron stops and blinks slowly, looking confused. “I’m not sure where that analogy came from. Do I know how to play an instrument?” It shakes its head. “I’ll look into that later. And I guess music really is a good analogy, because some people can compose and play beautiful music without knowing how to read sheet music. There are mages for whom magic is a more intuitive, experimental process. But that’s not how I learned, so I wouldn’t know how to teach you that way.”

It hands you a small, red rock with some squiggly lines carved into it. “We’ll do a spell before I make you start studying, though. Just to get you a taste of it. I already carved a rune into this rock, so we’ll use this one.”

It takes you back out of its room, to the kitchen. It fills a mug with water and hands it to you. “We’re going to boil some water to make tea. Repeat after me and copy my movements.”

Barron gets itself a mug, though it doesn’t fill it up. “It’ll be easier to copy me if I also have a cup. Remember, we’re making tea. Ready?”

You nod.

Barron chants something in a language you don’t know, and you do your best to imitate it. Then it uses its left hand to make some gestures at the mug, which you also copy, though it’s harder to get right because you’re holding a rock and Barron isn’t, and- oh shit!

The water in the mug is boiling. You feel warmth spreading from the tips of your fingers up through your forearms. The mug should be hot enough to burn your hands, but it’s not. Steam rises gently from the formerly cool water.

“Oh my god! That’s fucking cool!”

You just did magic. It wasn’t even hard. Once you have what those runes mean and what the motions do and what words to chant memorized, you’ll be able to cast magic without any help at all.

Barron laughs. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say. I’ll go grab some of the beginner mage books.”

Barron leaves the kitchen. You finish up making your tea. It doesn’t taste as good as when Diya makes it, but it was made with fucking magic, so you don’t mind.

Barron comes back with… a larger stack of books than you were expecting. It drops them on the table.

“Okay, so these top two ones are more about magic in general. They’ve got magic history, theories on why and how magic exists, and some of the very basic fundamentals. Then this next one focuses on what objects work best for what spells, and then the one after that is basically a dictionary of known runes and what they do. You’ll need to memorize a lot of that. Then the next one is about spell words and phrases, and the last one is about movements and magic. There are sections of those you’ll have to memorize, too.”

It’s… going to take a long time to get through all of those books, and it’ll take even longer if you stop every time you get a headache. “So I just… start reading them?”

“Whenever you want! Feel free to ask me any questions, and let me know when you feel ready to try out other spells. I’ll have you pick out the object and carve or draw the rune, next time.”

You can do this. The headaches will be worth it to prevent more pain for Puppy and Kitty, and it’s fucking magic. You think it would be very hard to make magic boring.

“That sounds good.” You pick up the first book and sit down.

—

When you finally tear yourself away from the book, Barron is gone, your tea is gone, and the kitchen clock says it’s three in the morning. Your head hurts so bad you can barely see, but… you want to read more. You think you’ll ask Barron if there are audiobooks for mage stuff tomorrow morning.

Magic is extremely interesting. Reading about it doesn’t feel like reading a textbook, it feels like reading a fantasy book. You always liked fantasy, before. This is going to be easier than you thought. Next time you’ll just take some ibuprofen before you start reading.

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #creepy whumper #intimate whumper #multiple whumpees #nonhuman whumper #pet whump #whumpee #whumper #caretaker #torture mention tw #2nd person pov #jane’s pets

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neonstatic · 7 months

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my given name and i have an interesting relationship. well, first off, i don't like. i dislike it, even. there's no doubt abt that. i've disliked it long before i understood i was nonbinary. it's just not a good name to me. i don't like the way it feels and tastes in my mouth. i don't like how it sounds out of people's mouths. no one has ever managed to say it in a way that makes it sound appealing. it's not a name you can sigh dreamily nor moan erotically. i mean, you can try, but however good you might sound, I'll be too distracted by the name itself. (i think i've learned to speak so delicately bc i've subconsciously wanted to sell my name as best as possible. yes, that is my name, it does kinda suck, but don't i say it so nicely?)

compare this to my sisters' names. they have sweet, feminine names that end in the letter a, and if you put all their names next to each other, you notice a certain motif. they just fit like a bouquet.

i feel like you can tell from my name alone that i'm the last child; they were running out of fkg ideas to follow the motif, so much so that they entirely dropped it! they couldn't even make my name end in an a!

i've never liked my name, always felt a little ashamed when meeting ppl bc i knew i'd have to introduce myself and see the split-second look in their eyes when they process and register (with difficulty) my painfully geriatric yet forgettable name. and it sounds so, so much worse in english.

egg or chicken? i think my name might've made me trans -- no, pls, let me elaborate: my name sounds like a typical old name, but spelled differently and thus pronounced differently, with none of the elegance and not even an a at the end. "oh, ray, why are you so obsessed w the a at the end?" bc i grew up surrounded by girls with pretty names that ends in a! and i was a little "girl" w an unpretty name that did not end in a! i legit had a complex abt that jabfjab everyone is aisha and christina and sarah and mona and then you got this mf whose name reminds you of a four-eyed mole in a tutu.

(in middle school, we had to write a story, and i named my protagonist, a 12yo girl, wayne. "that's not a girl's name," my teacher told me. "yes, it is." i said. and that was that.)

(i named that little girl after my favourite rapper at the time... y'all figure it out ✌🏾)

i've wanted to change my name long before i understood my gender. i had the spare thought that one day, maybe, i'd grow into it. i didn't like having and showing tits until literally two years ago. i think the chest tat helped. (frankly, most days i still don't. moving boobily is humiliating esp when you're a fast walker.) i've yet to grow into my given name. don't think i ever will. i rly dislike it. i'm no longer used to it either. i've changed my name at work and made so many new friends who know me as ray, and even my closest friends call me ray most of the time (or juno if they feel a lil frisky). and now i feel good introducing myself.

not only that, but i also experience ppl having fun w my name! nothing big, rly, but i do not have enough fingers to count the amount of ppl who make analogies abt the sun, the stars, or light in general. it's mostly silliness, i know, but i can't help feeling like others see that my name makes sense for me too. ray is a name that fits me. and i love it! yes, everyone does the "ray of sunshine" thing but it never gets old! never, do you hear me?! it's the best thing in the world to me!!!

(still, there are two things i like abt my given name... first, it's a callback to my parents' names. my dad also has a very interesting name but i'd rather have his than mine. another name better exprienced in french. second, my mom and i share a nickname. i found out when i was a teen and a relative called out my family nickname (or, well, one of two), only for my mom to respond. i love love love nicknames, bc that is what made me discover my chosen name. and i love that my mom and i share a nickname. it feels sentimental to me. idk how to explain it. i esp love when we use it for each other in casual. it's fun and lovely.)

#ray says

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hellfireclubmember3 · 9 months

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Had so much fun writing the most recent chapter of my bad batch fic! If you’re looking for a hunter x reader story where the reader is a Jedi on the run, consider checking out the rest of my story on wattpad. I update it multiple times a week.

On The Run

Chapter 6

The Bad Batch and I had been hiding out on our little oasis for a few days now. Over the past few days, I had felt the most calm that I had in a long time. With the clones around me, I felt protected and safe. Even though there were people looking for all of us, we were together and were going to look out for each other. In fact, I had grown quite close to the clones over the recent days.

Each clone was unique in their own way, each having different tendencies and quirks that made them special. Echo was kind and resourceful, always standing up for what was right. Tech was honest and clever, never afraid to share the facts, even if to a fault. Wrecker was funny and sometimes childish, but in a way that brought joy to those around him. Omega was curious and compassionate, sometimes getting into trouble because of it. And Hunter… Hunter was the most interesting of all.

I was drawn to Hunter in a way that I knew could potentially be problematic. He was a fierce protector, a loyal friend, and a strong leader. All honorable, and attractive, qualities. As a Jedi, I was taught to let go of attachments as fear of those losing those attachments can lead to a path to the dark side. But lately, those attachments have become my motivation to keep going during these difficult times. I have felt more alive in recent days, happier since joining this interesting crew. Instead of letting go of these feelings, I found myself wanting to embrace them. But that’s not what Jedi do. So I found ways to keep them out of my mind, but not fully cutting myself off from them.

It had been a quiet few days and some members of the group were getting a bit restless. “I want to explore. See the sights!” Omega complained.

“It’s not safe, Omega.” Hunter explained. “It’s too risky.”

Omega let out a long sigh. “But I’m sick of sitting around here. And we haven’t noticed any signs of the Empire, why can’t we just go into the town for a quick visit and come right back?”

Although I agreed with Hunter, Omega’s argument was appealing. It had become rather boring and seeing something new would be a good change of pace. Despite my better judgment, I decided to go out on a limb. “I could take Omega into town.”

“No.” Hunter replied immediately.

“Come on, Hunter. You can’t expect her to sit around in hiding for the rest of her life. If just she and I go into town, we can easily keep from drawing too much attention to ourselves.” Hunter opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. “And we can handle ourselves, can’t we, Omega?” Omega nodded assuredly.

Omega and I looked at Hunter with hopeful eyes. He sighed, “Fine, but don’t be gone too long and keep your coms on.”

Omega jumped up and gave him a hug. “Thanks, Hunter! I promise you won’t regret it!”

***

Omega and I walked through the village, stopping at different stands set up in their small market area. With my hood on, I made sure no one was able to get too close of a look at me. Although this was meant to be a leisurely trip, I found myself in a defensive mode. Constantly scanning my surroundings, making sure that no one approached either of us. Always keeping an eye on Omega, making sure she was safe.

We had decided that it was probably time for us to head back to camp when a large shadow loomed over the market. Looking up, I saw the underbelly of what appeared to be a pirate ship that was making its way to land. I grabbed Omega by the shoulder and pulled her into the closest alleyway. We watched the pirates disembark and my heart dropped into my stomach.

The group of pirates casually walked into the marketspace, clearly having been here many times before. The villagers handed over credits and items without question, but with obvious disdain. Leading the group was a confident looking weequay by the name of Hondo. He and I had had a few run-ins during the clone wars. On many occasions, he had helped the Jedi, but was also known to do whatever would benefit him the most. With a bounty of my head, I knew that he would only view me as a goldmine.

While I had been contemplating an escape plan in the event Hondo saw me, Omega must have been realizing what was happening to the villagers. “This isn’t right…” she whispered. Outwardly upset by the arrangement the pirates had with the locals. Soon after, a disagreement broke out between one of the pirates and a young villager.

Within seconds, the villager was shoved to the ground as the pirates ransacked his stall. I went to grab Omega, to pull her further away from the action, but to my horror she had run out towards the commotion. “Leave him alone!” She demanded, standing between the villager and the pirates.

“What do we have here?” Hondo stepped forward and motioned to Omega. “A little mouse that has lost her way.” The pirates in his crew laughed scornfully. “Step aside, girl.” Hondo said more seriously now.

Omega drew her energy bow, “No.”

“Foolish child.” Hondo sneered. “Remove her.” He commanded his pirates.

Before making one of the most foolish decisions of my life, I spoke into the com device that Tech had rigged together for me, “Get to the town now and ready the ship. Things are about to get messy.” Hunter’s panicked voice came over the com device, but I turned it off before I changed my mind. I steadily moved my lightsaber from my pocket to my hip, readying it in case the worst happened.

“Do not lay a hand on her.” I yelled, my voice carrying over the commotion of the moment. Hondo turned and our eyes met. Surprise covered face first with a greedy look following before it returned to his unsettling calm charm.

“Long time no see, my Jedi friend.” He called to me. Shocked whispers rang through the crowd that had formed. I placed my hand on my lightsaber. “I would ask what you’ve been up to, but in light of recent events, I’m sure I could take a guess.”

“Leave the girl alone, Hondo.” I demanded.

Hondo ignored my request. “I’m sorry for what happened to you and your friends, you know.”

I took a deep breath, easing my nerves and emotions that were boiling up inside of me. “Let her go, now.”

He threw his hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “No small talk? No catching up? You’re not happy to see an old friend?”

All I could think about was getting Omega to safety. Even if it meant risking my own life, or my capture. His crew were growing antsy, things were escalating and I would do what needed to be done. I drew my lightsaber, “I’m not going to ask you again.”

Any amusement on his face vanished. “I have a better idea. You, in exchange for the girl.”

As our showdown was reaching its zenith, a familiar figure moved from out of the crowd and stood in front of me. “I’m afraid that won’t be an option.” Hunter said, his blaster pointed right at Hondo.

If Hondo was nervous, he didn’t show it. “I like these new friends of yours, Y/N, they’re feisty.” He smiled, pausing to take in what he thought would be his triumph. “I’m afraid it has to end this way. Truly I am, but business is business.” He said darkly, and signaled his pirates to move in.

“Now!” Hunter yelled, and immediately smoke bombs exploded, covering the area in dark smoke. Hunter grabbed my arm, pulling me towards his escape route.

“What about Omega?”

“Don’t worry, Wrecker and Echo got her.” Hunter assured me.

Within moments, we heard Echo’s voice over the com channel, “We’ve got Omega.”

“And I’ve got Y/N. Tech, meet us at the rendezvous.”

“On my way.” Tech responded.

As Hunter and I ran around a corner, we reunited with Wrecker, Echo, and Omega. The five of us continued our maneuvers with Hunter leading the way. The whir of the Marauder’s engines sounded from above as Tech moved into position. We boarded the ship as quickly as we could. I took one last look towards the village and locked eyes with Hondo. To my surprise, he saluted me and turned back to his crew. He always kept me guessing, I’d give him that.

#fanfiction #bad batch #hunter bad batch #tbb fic #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb tech #sw tbb #tbb wrecker #star wars tbb #tbb omega #tbb #the bad batch #hunter x y/n #clone force 99 #clone wars #the clone wars #hondo ohnaka

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darsynia · 1 year

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Perspective

(HP; Remus Lupin Character Study)

I'll be posting more MCU than not, I think, but I wanted to get this one out there. It's genfic character study, so pretty niche, and not my typical fare. I just love him.

My Masterlist

Summary: Professor Lupin reflects on his life while looking at the Whomping Willow

Length: 1,619

dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics

He sat and stared at it, watching the branches twitch and sway as though a furious gale were howling through them, but the grass in which he sat hinted at the true story. The long green tendrils showed no indication of wind; indeed, Remus couldn't hear or see any signs of life except for the large, gnarly tree several meters in front of him. The tree had a life of its own, a destructive one at that... and it had been planted there because of him.

Lupin had never done this, had never taken the time to actually examine the Whomping Willow. During his years as a student, he'd never appreciated its existence, only saw the thing as a painful reminder of what made him different from his friends. Remus had loathed the seemingly malicious plant with increasing intensity as they both had grown older, and the image of the tree silhouetted against the forest at sunset was practically seared into his memory after so many trips from the castle at dusk. He couldn't help seeing it as a mocking symbol of a peaceful creature corrupted into a blind, vicious thing, exactly as he'd seen himself before the potion. His hatred of it had eventually begun to heal when the three friends closest to him bridged the gap between man and beast, providing Remus with an amazing affirmation of their caring for him, while having risked their lives in the process.

He smiled ruefully. James in particular had loved those kinds of grandiose gestures, and that had been the one to top them all.

Remus thought there was a kind of aching poetry to the night as he sat cross-legged and motionless in the grass. This was the very spot that Prongs used to pose dangerously in the moonlight, his front hooves clawing at the air while the full moon traced the shadow of his glorious antlers. It had all been sheer madness really, and not just their irresponsible adventures but the risks that they took in acting on them as well. They should have been caught, either from the dangerous trips the four of them took into the Forbidden Forest or Potter's inability to resist transforming on the very grounds of Hogwarts (knowing full well what the penalties were for being an unregistered Animagi). Peter's descriptions of the stag had been so lavish, and James' boasting had piqued such interest that Remus had begged Madam Pomfrey to take him down to the Willow an hour early one evening late in their sixth year. He'd persuaded her he wanted to grab what little sleep he could-- but in reality he'd snuck down along the passageway under the Willow, hoping to catch a glimpse of James before the moon's rays could rob him of full consciousness.

He'd never told them, of course. He'd never let the three of them know of his battles for control, how he would lay awake in bed begging the powers that be for just one night after which he could remember everything. All three of them had worked so hard and been so eager to give him a reason not to hate the full moon... and they had mostly succeeded , Lupin thought to himself with grim irony. He had stopped dreading the moon, at least, much less than he dreaded the next day's recap. The three illegal animagi would go over how much fun they'd had while he would sift through his own blurred sense-memory looking for correlations.

The Willow's leaves rustled in the growing wind, and as the rushing air eddied at the foot of the huge trunk, Remus just barely spied the knothole that Dumbledore had spelled to render the tree immobile. In a burst of melancholy, he wondered if there were still tiny rat footprints on it. Those footprints, the only remnants of a life cut short by betrayal. He supposed that there probably were, as no one had any use for or even knew of the hidden passageway beneath the Whomping Willow, and no student, not even a Gryffindor, would be brave enough to explore its trunk just for kicks.

Remus sighed and leaned back, his emotions warring within himself as he thought about Peter. Part of him wanted to experience the painful memories, to open that newly blocked part of his heart and let the brisk wind that rushed across the grounds act as a salve, but another part of him wanted to shut it away. With that pain came the fact of the twelve years of thinking that Sirius had been the betrayer. He wanted to hate Peter for that, for taking away all of them in a single night, for forcing them to think of an innocent man as a killer, and the killer a martyr.

Remus decided that there wasn't a wind that had ever blown on the campus of Hogwarts that could ease the wounds caused by that line of thinking. What did it mean that he had been on the outside of those events, he, the only Ministry-classified 'monster' of the group?

Lupin shifted his position slightly, his muscles groaning and his new wounds aching. He was surprised to find that the day after an actual transformation wasn't as painful as he'd remembered. The Wolfsbane Potion had literally changed his life. He had job opportunities, living quarters, changed social circumstances, but Remus had expected to see himself differently. For the first time in his adult life, he didn't turn into the boogeyman under the bed, the Lamia out to eat innocent children... but it had only changed the way others saw him.

This had been crushing, the realization that he still felt like a werewolf even without the unaltered transformation.

A soft rustling sound penetrated his reverie, and Remus lifted his head to see a tabby cat with unusual markings around the eyes pick its way primly across the grass in his direction. He made no move, knowing that by approaching him in this way, his colleague was offering him a strange sort of condolence. She had to know by now that his friends had studied under her very nose to become illegally what she was by gift of talent.

The cat made no move to pause as she walked directly up to him and brushed her head gently against his hand, just once. Remus held himself completely still except for his head as he nodded gravely to her, his eyes misting over with unshed tears. Minerva McGonagall moved past him, her tail held rigidly straight. He knew that it wouldn't be long before she shifted back to her human form, and he waited to hear her stern voice chastise him for sitting in the wet grass alone in the middle of the night.

"Have you made peace with it?" she asked instead, her tone more compassionate than he'd expected. Remus wasn't sure whether she was referring to the tree, his unexpected transformation the night before, or the sudden and surprising news of Sirius' innocence and Peter's guilt. It didn't really matter, however. His answer was the same for all three.

"I don't know if I ever can," he said simply.

"There's no peace to be made with grief, Remus," Minerva said, and he was glad she had remained behind him, for he was no longer able to contain the quiet tears that coursed down his face to land on his arm. The salt stung in the scratches he'd inflicted on himself as a werewolf the night before, but he let them fall, relishing the pain as part of the punishment for his carelessness in forgetting the potion.

"I know it might sound strange to you, but I've always viewed that tree as a symbol of victory," she said, her voice barely audible over the sound of the wind. "After every short-sighted proclamation issued from the Ministry, every inane question owled to the Headmaster from the Minister for Magic, I've gone to a window and looked at the Willow and smiled."

He turned to look at her then, touched to the quick at the look of fierce happiness on her face as she stared at the tree thrashing its branches wildly into the night sky. He knew she expected him to ask her for an explanation, but he just waited. After a moment, she shifted her gaze to his and her eyes blazed with the sort of mischief he would have expected from Albus, or James.

"Because you came first, Remus. Not the Department of Magical Creatures, not the Werewolf Registry-- a small boy who needed an education got one, come hell or high water," McGonagall said defiantly. "Children shouldn't have to be held accountable for what happens to them," she added a beat later with a deep sigh. Lupin caught her meaning instantly.

"Harry hates his aunt and uncle's house as well," he mused.

"The Muggles have a saying," the older woman said. "'One man's trash is another man's treasure.' It's all about perspective."

"Neither of us are likely to treasure--" he began, but she cut him off brusquely.

"Don't discard the memories with the rest of the rubbish, Remus. That's all I'm saying," Minerva said in a strangely tender voice, squeezing his shoulder tightly as she walked past him toward the castle.

The dew had already formed on the ground around him before Remus Lupin was ready to get up and follow his colleague into the building. As he did so, the werewolf turned and watched the sun's first morning rays strike the tops of the trees around him. It had been the first time he'd watched the sunset from the perspective of the grounds just outside the Whomping Willow in fifteen years.

#remus lupin #hp fanfiction #character study #minerva mcgonagall

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professor-tammi · 2 years

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okay here are some Three Hopes thoughts!! spoilers for first 4 chapters of the Lions route, and also some (more minor) Eagles spoilers

- I went into the game expecting to hate Shez (not a big fan of the design) but. they’re not only an actual character, but also quite charming? very positively surprised here :D! I also really enjoy the English VA for both m/f Shez (went with male Shez and female Byleth for my Lions run; will prob do female Shez when I play Eagles)

- having Byleth take on a Lu Bu-esque rival role is an interesting idea, and letting them Actually Speak and be a character is already helping undo some of my Byleth hatred. (only some though. it is still mostly there!!)

- Arval is cute! I like them (? what is gender ?? gender not real) much more than Sothis, which surprises me a bit because I feel like they’re objectively very similar characters. maybe it’s just that Arval’s banter with Shez works out much better than Sothis’ attempted banter with Byleth a wall

- so Arval is obviously somehow Slither-related, but judging from how both Rhea’s and Shez’s eyes glow in a distinctly similar way when they transform, I’m gonna venture a guess and say that Arval is also somehow a dragon. just maybe, like, a different dragon tribe or clan to Sothis’. I dunno.

- I didn’t expect Monica surviving and joining the Eagles this time around to be of much interest to me but. apparently she is very gay for Edelgard and honestly? the one thing Edelgard as a character has always lacked was a cute co-dependent gf. please Koei let Monica be this. I would very much like to have yet another problematic ship! thank you!!

- the Lions plot truly wastes no time getting started -- one moment you’re defeating bandits and the next you’re... executing Rufus and Cornelia!? but I’m not complaining! the political intrigue is fun. I only hope the game still manages to capture the darker sides to Dimitri’s character (which I’m quite positive it will, given they’re foreshadowing it in much the same way 3H did originally, it’ll just happen later on)

- the part at the beginning of Chapter 4 where Faerghus is discussing whether they should aid the Church and risk war with the Empire or not and Felix just interjects with “ok we have two choices. either we aid the church or we submit to imperial rule” was also, excellent. maybe it’s also partly due to the current goings-on in the world and the shockingly poor takes I’ve seen people have about those, but it’s just nice to see Felix instantly lay it out as “yeah you know the Empire is not going to just leave us alone even if we agree to their terms”

- also the Dimilix content in this game already too good and this is just the demo?? yes their meal conversation definitely stands out the most but also little things like Felix’s C support with Shez (which, yes, is about his relationships with the entire childhood friend quartet, but still), and how it’s House Fraldarius that’s immediately singled out in Rufus’ ploy as being closest to Dimitri (”in what cruel world would our noble house take the reins of a boar like you?” ok felix!!), how Felix is at the forefront during Rufus’ execution scene (which... there’s a lot to say about, in general), and how the trailers are hinting at more development of their relationship and!! im just. so excited. (please let me read their B / A supports not knowing is killing me)

- (perhaps it is more accurate to say that the game has a lot of Felix content. and for once I support koei’s character favoritism)

- oh and speaking of Shez supports, Edel-critical people will probably appreciate Edelgard’s C support with Shez, which features Shez calling out her hypocrisy in a very frank way. good content.

- on supports more broadly, only the support levels with little speech bubbles lead to conversations, and it’s been interesting to see the decisions Koei made in regards to who gets how many conversations with who here. I’ve already seen some anger about Felix and Annette only going up to B and only getting one conversation, though in all honesty, I’m not very surprised as I always found their original supports just cute but shallow -- there’s not a ton for the writers to focus on there.

- (otoh I am very much looking forward to whatever the Felix/Dedue support contains, because there’s a 3H relationship that could do with more development!)

- also curious to see which characters will end up joining which houses. Lions are definitely getting Catherine and Gilbert in addition to Rodrigue. Eagles should be getting Hanneman in addition to Manuela and Jeritza (and Monica, also). Deer get Shamir, and presumably also Judith and Cyril (and possibly Holst or something). as for the Wolves, if they’re not exclusive to some secret fourth route, I imagine Constance goes to the Eagles, Balthus to the Deer, and Hapi and Yuri to the Lions. where do the dragons figure in, though? Seteth, Flayn and Rhea would all make the most sense with the Lions, I guess, since they ally with the Church... though that seems like an unusually large cast of playables for them!

- another thing that interests me is the identity of Shez’s mysterious mother, who was apparently a noble living in Leicester... ... the first silly twist I thought of is “what if it’s Patricia, who escaped after the tragedy”, but I’m pretty sure I have zero good reasons to think this? I don’t even know if it works timeline-wise so I’m just documenting it in case I end up, miraculously, being right, for no reason (I just think the idea of her being the mom of 3/4 main characters is cute)

- also I wasn’t tumblering when the new designs where revealed initially but: ponytail felix. ponytail felix. ponytail felix. (Koei you are still not forgiven for taking away Ran, my original high ponytail hyperfixation, but, thank you, for this Felix)

- have to quickly shoutout Annette’s new design though she is SO cute :’) I think the only new Lion design I don’t really like is Sylvain’s. my condolences Sylvain fans. (Ingrid’s bangs are cute sorry!!) (also Dimitri with the tiny ponytail? thank you. my skin is clear my crops are watered)

- for non-Lions: love Edelgard’s design!! it’s almost like. I really like ponytails in character designs. Marianne also looks lovely! annnd I think Caspar’s Three Hopes design is what his post-timeskip design should have been, honestly

- general gameplay thoughts: this is very much a traditional musou, very reminiscent of SW, and I appreciate that bc I miss SW... also I felt AoC had too much of a combat focus to the detriment of the more tactical decision-making that I like having in my musous

- also having permadeath in a musou game is very interesting?? it’ll only come into play in the full release since the game says it’s after Chapter 4 only, but still, intrigued at how this will affect how difficult the game feels :D

#text post #text: fodlan #text: fe #few3h

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justmelookingbackatme · 1 year

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I have spent my life trying, and largely failing, to fit in with a gender. Any gender. Any group of people around me, I have tried to be one of them, one of their gender. And I've failed.

When I was very young, I didn't fit in with boys because they were boys. And I was a girl. I didn't understand what that meant, not really, but I knew it was supposed to be very important. So I was fine with that. I didn't need to be one of the boys! I could make friends with all the girls!

I could not make friends with all the girls.

I tried to pretend I was no different from them, but that didn't go so well. It wasn't even because I was too masculine. I was just too weird. I didn't know when I should talk and when I should be quiet, I depended on rules and structure far too much for any classmate to tolerate me, my interests were stupid, I didn't know social rules that everyone else had apparently been taught.

So, the girls of my childhood never really considered me to be one of them, but that wasn't for my lack of trying. I tried so damn hard. They liked dresses, so I liked dresses. Dressing like them was the closest I could come to being like them. I would lie and say I understood what everyone else was talking about, even when I didn't. My sort-of-friends, those who didn't mind me quite so much, would suggest raiding our mothers' makeup and trying it on, and I would go with it.

And then I stopped trying, because I found a new gender expression where I fit. The Girls Who Weren't Feminine. The other weirdos, the undiagnosed neurodivergent kids, the girls who liked sports too much to be "girly." I was one of them. I was just like them. I belonged.

Sort of. Except for the part where my interests were made fun of, or they threatened to stop being my friend because I said the wrong thing, or I spent my recess running back and forth to resolve a petty argument my friends were having.

It was the best option I had.

And then we hit middle school, and The Girls Who Weren't Feminine grew out of their "not like other girls" phase. They liked social media. (I didn't have a phone.) They liked makeup. (The one time I wore it for real, not painted sloppily by a seven year old, I was told I looked like a completely different person. I did look like a completely different person. I didn't like that.) They liked boys. (I was slowly, slowly realizing that I did not like boys.)

It wasn't just my friend group that I felt I no longer belonged in. I felt that way around all my female peers. They wanted bigger boobs and I wished mine would disappear. They wanted their body to look like an hourglass, and I felt sick every time I saw my own curves. They were eagerly awaiting when they might get their period, and mine was my own personal hell.

And locker rooms. Girls' fucking locker rooms. I felt like an outsider to womanhood more than I ever had before when changing for PE. I could never shake the thought that I was an intruder, that I was invading their space. And if the girls there knew what I knew, that I was attracted to girls, they would see me as a creep.

No, I didn't fit in with girls very well when I was in middle school.

When my best friend came out as nonbinary, it slowly led to my realization that I might not be cis either. As I dipped my toe into the waters of gender experimentation, I tried to categorize myself as nonbinary.

I didn't consider that I might be a boy. I thought I had to have always known. I thought I couldn't be a boy if I sometimes, sort of, wanted to stay a girl too.

So I tried to be feminine-aligned nonbinary, demigirl, girlflux, and none of them worked. I knew I couldn't be a cis girl, that my gender couldn't be confined to that, but nonbinary was an incredibly uncomfortable identity for me. I hated they/them pronouns. I hated calling myself a term like "enby." I hated placing myself outside of male and female entirely, or proclaiming myself genderless.

I still tried, because I knew I wasn't a girl, and I didn't think I was a boy, so I must be nonbinary. Even if I didn't use the term. I tried genderqueer, a term so vague it was easy to fit, but I didn't understand myself and no one else understood me. I wasn't like my other nonbinary friends; I didn't change my name to something neutral, I didn't use they/them, I didn't bind, I didn't dye my hair or "dress nonbinary," whatever that meant.

They were the closest thing I had to a home, but that wasn't very close.

Even as I've explored a masculine gender, I've never felt like I fit in with men. Even trans men. I don't think they see me as one of them; how can I be a man if I use he and she pronouns? They think I am less of a man than them, if they think of me as a man at all.

I enter a men's bathroom, and I think; I've gotten lucky so far, but is this going to be the time my luck runs out and I get clocked? I enter a woman's bathroom, and I think; Can they tell I'm not a woman like them? Am I going to get yelled at for invading their space? I walk the halls to the single unisex bathroom, and I think; Only the weirdos have to walk the length of the entire school just to use the bathroom in relative safety. There's nowhere for me to feel normal.

Feeling normal has started mattering less, as I've found people who don't need me to be like them in order for them to like me. I don't understand my friends who are girls, as they discuss femininity like it's a foreign language, but I'm grateful to have them. I may not relate to all of their experiences, but I'm happy to talk to my friends who are boys. My nonbinary friends and I have very different genders, but we'll support one another.

It's not the worst thing in the world, to never completely fit in with a group of people. But I do sometimes wish I could find a gender to call my home.

#11 pm gender thoughts word vomit

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abellaheart-blog · 2 years

Text

heyy! first off, happy belated birthday! 💕 this matchup event seems fun so i’mma give it a try!

my 3 choices are:

• perfume: garden of love

• good luck charms: i’d like some jewelry! in a silver color, and i’d prefer some earrings.

• love fortunes

1. i’m a female going by she/her pronouns!

2. here’s a pic crew of me (ngl, i’m not really good at making piccrews of myself ‘cause they never end up completely accurate, and this is the closest thing i got. also, my hair is actually a bit more darker than in the pic, it usually looks black but in sunlight, it might come off as dark brown). oh, and i’m 5’2!

3. i’m straight

4. i’m 18 years old

5. starting off a bit basic, i’d want my partner to be loyal, respectful, and kind. i’d prefer them to be either a extrovert or ambivert. basically someone who’re more than willing to speak for me ‘cause i’m hella shy and i sometimes have moments where i’m too scared to talk to people. i’m also an introvert so sometimes i have days where i don’t wanna go out (i can get socially drained easily 😅), and i’d want my parter to understand that. no matter how different our interests were, i’d want my partner to at least respect them or even give it a try (like listening to a music genre they normally don’t listen to). i’m a bit of a sucker for affection, so i’d love my partner to occasionally offer me cuddles and stuff like that (not a fan of PDA, but i’m fine with holding hands, having an arm around me, or a small kiss in public). i get insecure at times (whether it’s my appearance, intelligence, etc.), so i’d want my partner to comfort me during those moments. i also want my partner to appreciate my family and friends since they mean the world to me, and even have my partner meet them whenever possible. (i’d especially love it if my partner becomes close with some of my cousins, who i consider siblings at this point). if there’s something i did that made my partner upset, i’d want them to tell me about it instead of hiding it (‘cause i lowkey get self conscious of people possibly being mad at me even if it turns they’re not 😅). i’m not too big on my partner’s appearance, but i’d lowkey prefer if they were taller than me LMAO (even if they’re just an inch taller than me, i’d be fine 😂). and lastly, while i don’t expect my partner to spoil me with so many items (‘cause for one, i’d feel guilty if i can’t buy them anything in return. and two, i’d be concerned over how much money they have left after all that, haha), some small gifts would steal my heart. i personally love anything considered cute, especially things from sanrio (if you’re unfamiliar with them, they’re the company who created hello kitty), so anything like a cute plush or keychain would make me happy 🥰

6. my favorite flowers are roses 🌹

7. i’d prefer not to be matched with diavolo, ciccolata, secco, or doppio from golden wind. i just don’t really vibe with them 😬

8. i’m fine with being matched up with a villain

9. my 2 animes are jjba: diamond is unbreakable and jjba: golden wind!

tysm for this!! i hope you have a good rest of your week. make sure to take care of yourself!! <333

Fortune Teller Match Maker 🔮 Anime Matchups 💘

omg thanks for sending your matchup but next time send it in my ask box instead. Sorry this took me a while been going through quite a bit so motivation for writing hasn’t been there. Hope you enjoy this and you take care of yourself as well. I appreciate the sweet little messages 💓

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Diamond Is Unbreakable

Abella looks forward to your crystal ball reading. A lot will be unfold to your bit of love story once she reveals who your potential true love is. She guides you to her small round purple table. The table is filled with various items a match maker such as herself would carry: love potions, tarot card decks, etc. You take a seat on a stack of square shaped cushions across from her. She waves her hand over the table and a puff of pink smoke appears out of no where. When it clears up the table is clean. You notice her hot pink colored crystal ball is the only item left behind. She sits across you on a orange plush stool.

"To get an accurate reading I'll need to reveal your true love."

She then instructs you how she'll need to hold your hand to get a good reading for you. Understanding, you give her your pale hand. Abella then closes her eyes and the reading begins. It becomes shocking to you since you feel a huge tug at the bottom of your soul. You weren't startled, more so confused. Her hearts across her face are lighting up a bright pink. You finally notice a huge pink symbol surrounding you both on the ground. It's in the shape of a rose. Your dark straight hair is floating above your head as is Abella's curls.

Abella talks when the crystal ball is glowing a bright pink. Her eyes are still closed and she is focused. Your brown eyes widen in wonder as a figure is slowly appearing on he crystal ball.

"I see... your true love is a man with everything you're looking for. I see he is loyal, respectful, and kind. He would also be good for your shy nature especially since he finds it very attractive and cute. He's honest with his feelings and is easy to talk to as well as get along with."

You notice the image becoming more visible revealing dark hair and two scars across his face. In the crystal ball he smiles. Your brown eyes look to him with curiosity.

"His name is Okuyasu Niijimura."

"I wouldn't see any sort of hardships with him in your romance but he does have an unfortunate living situation. I would also like to mention he is a hopeless romantic but I trust you won't hurt him. You have a kind aura to your soul." Abella smiles your direction letting go of the crystal ball.

You notice the crystal ball is no longer glowing nor are the hearts on Abella's face. The rose symbol is no where to be found. She allows you a moment to think over all she has revealed to you. Okuyasu is your true love and proves to hold all the qualities you're looking for in a man.

You request Abella of a good luck charm after you've deeply thought over what her crystal ball revealed. Abella's brown eyes light up and she walks over to some shelves to grab a stack of three wooden boxes. They're small and she scatters them across the table for you.

"Before you choose I'll need to give you instructions. Choose the box you feel is the best decision. Your heart will guide you."

The bright pink hearts on her face as well as the rose symbol on the ground are glowing. She waves her hand across the boxes causing them to turn into a purple color. She gestures to the boxes.

You hover your hand over the boxes. You felt a warmth in your soul choosing the box at the middle. Abella nods telling you chose correctly. She snaps her fingers and the other two boxes are gone once the pink smoke disappears.

You open the box and see a small blue velvet box. You open it revealing a pair of silver earrings. They dangle and have hearts hanging at the bottom. They sparkle such a lovely glimmer. You look back to the fortune teller. She understands the look you give her very well. How could these earrings possibly be good luck charms?

"Those earrings symbolize love. As you can see from the hearts. As a good luck charm these earrings will improve your chances of romance by sixty percent. They also assist in good luck but only by twenty percent."

You try on the earrings admiring how they glimmer. You thank her for the earrings. Abella asks you of your next request to which she is happy to hear. She goes to her shelves of perfumes behind her table. She grabs a hold of one after you name the one you desire. She holds a small round bottle with a heart shaped turquoise colored lid. The bottle is decorated in painted flowers and vines.

"This bottle is called, 'garden of love'. It has a flowery scent helps your lover realize they want to be with you. A romantic date might occur but of course this only happens if romance sparks between the both of you."

You give the perfume a couple spritz after she explains the use of the perfume. No more than two sprays since any more won't have an affect. The perfume smells of daisies, chamomile’s, roses, and fresh air. It’s very relaxing and makes you feel ready to take on the world. You’re seeking passionate love.

"It smells good." You smile her direction.

Abella seems to be happy for you. Her true happiness is directed toward the potential results of the perfume. You could get a garden date with your true love. She hopes it will be today.

Abella guides you to the center of her tent where the rose symbol on the ground appears surrounding you two again. The hearts underneath her eyes glow again, her pink painted lips encouraging you to enter the white portal with a smile. Before you enter the portal she gives you parting words.

"You might meet your true love but I must inform you sometimes the meeting doesn't always go well. Do not be disheartened if it doesn't work out today. There is still plenty of time for love to bloom. Plus those earrings are sure to help you as well. Best of luck."

You give her a goodbye before entering the portal. When you open your eyes you're located in front of a café at Morioh. You notice Okuyasu walking down the street, he seems to be in a good mood. You're unsure what to say until you feel a hand grab your wrist. You don't recognize the business suit wearing, blonde male. He has a creepy expression on his face. You become increasingly uncomfortable the more he stares. His grip on your wrist is strong, you're unsure of his intentions but you don't want to find out.

Okuyasu noticed the intense atmosphere and the situation you're in. He decided to punch the stranger with his stand so the intimidating male would be knocked out. Okuyasu then grabs your hand and runs away with you. You follow behind him, running as quickly as possible. You two end up at an alley, panting. No one seems to be around so you two.

"You okay? The creep had such a tight grip on your hand." Okuyasu looks to your direction.

"Yes I'm fine. Thank you for saving me back there. He gave me such a scary look."

"Don't worry. He didn't follow us."

After you caught your breath you look at Okuyasu. You wish to know who it is that saved you. You recognize his features from when he appeared in Abella's crystal ball. Your mouth dropped at the revelation. Okuyasu's mouth drops as well but for other reasons. He's thinking about how lucky he is to be in your presence since you're so cute.

You decide to introduce yourself to which Okuyasu does in return. He blushes as he offers you a milkshake or a bite to eat. You gladly agree as your kind brown eyes reassure him. His huge cheeky grin on his face appears. You giggle following him to the nearest place for food.

Spending time with Okuyasu was fun, he had a lot to say. He's also dramatic and funny. Your time spent with him was filled with himself chatting with you about various topics. Before you knew it Okuyasu took you to a date at the park. He was feeding pigeons breed crumbs but they became too enthusiastic and started flocking him. He was being chased by them. You had to help him which he was really grateful for. You brushed feathers off of him with your hands. Your short self had trouble helping him up but you managed.

Okuyasu thought it was sweet how concerned you became over his well being. He observed your features which gave him the extra courage to ask you on a date. He got the idea to take you to an abandoned garden he often visits. He remembered the location after smelling your perfume. The flowery scent giving him the desire to take you on a garden date.

You agreed and followed him to the destination. The more you talked to Okuyasu the more you realized he has all the qualities you’re looking for in a man. He was so sweet and extroverted. He held your hand on the way to the garden. It felt so comforting. He had the biggest smile on his face.

At the garden you both shared conversations and had a pleasant time together. You observed the roses as you thought about Okuyasu and all Abella revealed to you earlier. Meanwhile Okuyasu is standing next to you hoping you’re enjoying the date.

You more than enjoyed it. He was happy to hear about your family. He said they sounded lovely. He also enjoyed talking about hobbies. Okuyasu felt compelled to hold your hand again. When he looked to your eyes he was blushing and kisses your hand. His eyes light up when he see’s how you blush in return.

“You look so beautiful. I’m so lucky to be on this date with you.”

You express your gratitude for the date with positivity. Promising him another date. Though you were shy about it he thought it was cute. He picked you some roses before walking you back. You wanted to go back to Abella to thank her. Okuyasu walked you to the destination.

Before he left he gives you a kiss to your cheek. He was a bit bashful but so happy to go on another date with you. He intended on taking you to his favorite restaurant. Okuyasu left with a joyous skip in his step as he walked away.

You make it back to Abella’s tent hoping she isn’t busy. Thankfully she has no customers and she eagerly invites you inside her tent. You mention bumping into Okuyasu and going on a date with him.

“I’m so happy your evening turned out so well. Did he give you those roses as well?”

You mention the date at the garden, causing her brown eyes to light up. She thought it was so cute.

“I think you and Okuyasu will make such a lovely pair. The date sounds so romantic already.”

You two chat a bit longer before Abella walks over to a planter to get you a present. She picks a flower and holds it out to you. It’s a bright green rose.

“This is for you. This rose is a perfect to gift in a new relationship, when a relationship is starting. May you and Okuyasu share a good relationship.”

You thank Abella before leaving. Abella watched as you left, knowing you’d share a fulfilling and lifelong relationship with Okuyasu. The green rose she gifted you has various meanings but she knew it would transmit good luck for the new relationship.

#submission #abella fortune teller event #abella fortune teller takeover #jjba matchup #matchups #jojo's bizarre adventure diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #thanks for your patience

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doofnoof · 1 year

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Hey Bug I read your tag response to the oc post and I have a question you’re not obligated to answer!

Pronouns and gender interest me, especially when people use ones that aren’t the same as/associated with their sex, and I’m curious if there’s a reason why you use both it/its and they/them?

It/its is commonly used to refer to objects, and I’m wondering if you use those pronouns because of that (the association of something outside the binary) or because it’s just gender neutral.

This is very random and I hope I worded it okay :)

I was writing a longer thingie here, but I'm shortening it here because I could talk for Hours about Gender. So. For me, gender was always a prison. I was expected to be a Girl, and as a girl I could really only reach for Second Best most of the time. It sucked.

I finally felt like myself when I made friends (real friends) for the first time in Washington, which was a much more liberal area than where I had been raised. Nobody really bullied me any more, and I finally found someone that made me feel like I didn't have to be afraid to be Myself. Eventually I found out that I liked girls and that it was an okay feeling for someone who was also a girl to have. I made friends with my friend's friends and their younger sibling, who I got along with as a Fellow G1 My Little Pony Fan And Toy Collector.

Something still didn't feel right though. I was finally Myself, but I still woke up every day cursing god that I was a girl and was expected to do and want girl things. It sucked. I didn't wanna be a girl. I didn't wanna be a boy either, I was just trading out glittery pink princess shackles for metallic blue football shackles. Shackles are still Shackles no matter how cool they look, and I'm not one to just go along with what everyone else wants me to do, at the very least I'll fight the whole way.

One day, my friend's younger sibling pipes up in our group chat and says "Hey I'm Nonbinary and use They/Them Pronouns, please call me [Name] instead of [deadname] from here on out." I didn't know what all of these words meant at all. So I messaged them and asked, because what else are ya gonna do?? They filled me in on the whole thing with Gender being a Spectrum, and they were simply choosing No Gender With Left Beef. Once they were done explaining I almost couldn't believe what I'd heard, it was like they'd taken every secret desire in my heart and said "hey this is possible and also super cool and you can do what you want actually." Like it really did just all fit into place for me. A little while later I came out as nonbinary because I didn't wanna steal their thunder but I was 110% ready to be Done with the whole Girl Thing. Didn't decide to go by a different name until I told my mom that I'm nonbinary. She still doesn't get it and won't use the name I've chosen even to this day, but you can't win 'em all, and I'm glad to finally know who I am.

I don't feel a lack of gender though, if anything I feel Almost Too Much Gender. White isn't the absence of color, but it's actually all colors at once. When light shines through a prism, it refracts into a rainbow. That's the closest I can get to explaining my gender. I'm genderfluid, so some days I'm more purple than blue, or more yellow than green, but they're all there in different amounts, you just can't see it unless I shine a light on it, really. They/Them also works because I contain multitudes. It's Great. Gender is a Spectrum and I'm a Rainbow.

Onto the it/it's thing. I've always loved insects and little creatures Too Small and Strange to Put a Gender To, most people can't look at a Roly-Poly and say Oh That's A Girl Insect, they just hold it up on their finger and admire it's cute little antennas. I've Always Fucked Heavily With That. But that's not what fully It/It's'd My Gender. I was at college and having moved to a Much Less Liberal Place Than Washington, there was a group of girls making fun of trans people for Anything They Could Think Of because they're bigoted and slurs are funny or whatever. I mentioned that I'm gay and use they/them pronouns, and cracked a few Tumblr Jokes™ like the good old "I'm about to make your pronouns was/were," and got a few laughs. And then the girl that started this whole mess was uncomfortable that the spotlight wasn't on her anymore and said some unfunny shit like "lol this table's pronouns are it/it's!!! Lmao!!! how ridiculous 😂🤣😂🤣" and I decided then and there that those are gonna be my pronouns. And funny enough, even after I left college, the pronouns stuck, I really like them! They feel comfortable, like the right pronouns for a Bug such as Myself.

My Gender Journey has mostly been stumbling into different Gender Things and trying them on, and if I don't like it then the gender goes back on the rack. If I do I just take it home with me and style it however I please. Gender doesn't have to be a prison!!!! Sometimes it can be your fucking home!!!!!!! It's Great!!!!!!!!

TLDR: friend freed me from gender prison and I found they/them pronouns bc I have lotsa the Gender Fluid in me, someone made fun of it/its pronouns so I decided to make it uncomfortable for them to be transphobic, ended up Liking it/its pronouns.

Can't believe that this is the shortened version of my original post. Thank you for asking Minty!!!!!! This was a fun trip down memory lane :)

#bug barks #bug writes #minty-skull-armour #this is a little scary because there are still Some Very Unenlightened People around tumblr and I'd like to avoid them #but this was also very fun for me anyways :3 #to answer your question Both! I'm schroedinger's gender #I could be a girl a boy both or neither depending on whether or not you've opened the metaphorical box to take a peek inside #not my pants tho. if you look in my pants you'll find shiny quarters and candy wrappers. maybe a coupon.#you worded this question just fine btw dw about that!!!#I hope I got my point across alright too!!

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dojae-huh · 2 years

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I am not familiar at all with merch sales be it within the kpop community or not, but of course, I heard a lot about Doyoung's merch or related things that were sold out. It makes me wonder a lot about Dozennies. What are their average age, their professions and their schedules. Because things have been sold out quite frequently recently, I would always imagine that most Dozennies are working young adults who are probably around the same age as Do. You gotta be able to have financial means to buy these things. Most are not expensive but some are not that cheap either.

And they are always updated on Do's because they were so fast in buying all these. Sometimes, I also wonder if it's just the same people buying his products because most of these are sold online. Like I do read that some fandom do bulk orders to help the idol. Honestly, the only thing I'm concerned with with bulk ordering is what do they do with it. Resell it at a higher price? I guess better than just shoved into a corner collecting dust. I just don't have the experience of buying merch, so I don't really know the competition to get these things. My friend's an Army though and I've seen the immense struggle when buying albums (that's the closest experience I have). Is it possible that for highly competitive fandom, these purchases are kinda like gambling because you'll never know if you get to check the items out and that makes people addicted in some way? (at this point I'm just rambling but interesting tho)

And one thing I always wonder about kpop merch is that the products are more frequently released compared to other fandoms I think? Like not just companies merch, they also have collabs like sanrio, nr, etc. How do fans keep up with this constant release of merch and collab? Because I think when you become an ambassador for brands, it is to increase the sale of the brand itself. And when you pick nct as ambassadors, the market is most likely the fandom right (or no?) If it is, how can the fandom keep up with all the sales or am I underestimating fandom purchasing power? Or perhaps I overestimate the quantity of the products they plan to sell.

Idol companies don't earn with music. They earn with merch and concerts. Btw, SM is a company that produces very little merch in comparison to others.

I'm a book illustrator, but the books I illustrate have very low number of copies. From 500 to 3-5k. Maybe some had more, I don't have author copies for all and not all have the data. And publishing companies still spend from half a year to two years to prepare such a book. The trick is to put out something on the shelves all the time, to gain from the volume. K-pop groups have millions of fans. And almost all fans buy merch in one form or another. 1mln will buy an album, 200k will buy a poster, 20k will buy a mug, another 20k will buy Sanrio stickers, yet another 20k will buy a magazine.

A fan doesn't need to know and buy all merch released, I doubt it's feasable even for the most rich and crazily commited, it's enough for him/her to buy from time to time. Fanclubs help to keep up with the info and make collective orders. There are k-pop merch shops that work as middle men as well.

I'm a pretty merch resistant person, I don't like to spend money on things that collect dust, but even I fall to "I want to treat myself" and "I want to have fun". I can buy well produced merch or cheap merch. Especially if it's sparkly, haha. I don't need a plastic standie even for free, but a clear file is a product I'll take. Smart companies diversify their offer.

To sell merch companies invent different strategies and fuel the competition among fans. Fans buy merch to show off (look how rich I am, I have hundreds of lightsticks), to show dedication to their bias (look what a big fan I am, I made a shrine), to satisfy human's innate instinct to collect (idol cards, the hunt for limited editions), to support their bias (buying the endorsed stuff, taking pictures of it, posting on socmed and tagging the company), to win the race with other bands (this applies to the albums mostly).

Bulk buying. Honestly, I think the majority of the albums get into the hands of fans. There are not that many fans who can buy 100 albums to pull out cards and then drop the photoalbums in trashcan. Cases like that just make news. Fans give out the albums to non-fans (to PR their group), give for free to the fans with no money or re-sell on forums for half the price. Think about it, Sticker sold over 2mln. Jaehyun alone has more than 10mln subscribers on IG.

As for working adults. Sure, "now I grew up and can buy whatever I want" exist, but the majority of merch buyers are teenagers who get their money from their parents or from part-time work. Studying in Uni/working adults need to pay rent, buy work clothes, pay off their college loans, buy textbooks. Teens, on the other hand, need to show off before their peers, be better, have the latest toy. Nowadays the "toy" is loads of k-pop merch.

Companies like NR win from selling directly to fans and from fans advertising the brand/products on socmed. Plus the idols simply work as pretty models who know how to appeal. It's not nesessary to know who they are to be pulled in and be affected. The ads are showed on screens in cosmetic shops.

Doyoung has a lot of younger fans, at least the ones that write/call him. But I agree that he should attract more young adults than, say, Mark. His core fans like him for the voice first and foremost, for his life advice/grounded personality/emotional support secondly.

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