#and don't realize that bad actions =/= bad person

[homunculus-argument]

sorry to add this on, but what if I hurted them aswell?

everyone makes mistakes I tell myself but yet hatred and spite and shame clears my brain. I made mistakes and realized but why is forgiving so hard? the thought of being a villain in someone’s story is so fearing and something I never want. should I forgive ? What if I’m not forgiven. what if I’m in the wrong.. the bad one even

thank you for answering my other one. Your words so well placed and I resonate with your work heavily.❤️

It's like when you get physically hurt: The pain is there to tell you to not do that again. Continuing to fret over it is like letting the fire alarm keep blaring after you already put out the fire. You screwed up, you know that now, and you know you're not doing that again. Forgiveness is a gift that's only given freely, without pressure, and if aknowledging where you messed up and letting them know you learned from it won't prompt them to forgive you, then the lesson you got is "don't treat the next one like this", assuming that you really did do them wrong for real.

You're always going to be a villain in someone else's story. There are complete fucking strangers out there who think that I have the moral obligation to kill myself and that the people who love me are wrong for not pushing me that way. There's always going to be someone who thinks that whatever you're doing is wrong. That's why you have to learn to ask yourself: Who got hurt by what I did? What could I have done to avoid that?

And then you tell the person that you unwittingly hurt that it wasn't your intention and you now know better than to do that again. And if you can't point to a specific person who was hurt by your actions, or think of anything else that you could have done instead that could have avoided this, then it is simply not your fucking problem.

[diorcities]

⠀   ⠀ ── ৎ ۟ 𓂂 ͟𓇼 nct dream when they make you cry !

nct dream sfw headcanon. hurt/comfort, mention of a wound. not happy with this, but still 💭 enjoy! library.

jeno. feels so guilty, he would stop immediately and run to hold you in his arms. arguing with you must be the thing he hates the most, though he knows that sometimes it's impossible not to have small arguments for vain things. he is irritated by tiredness and one thing led to another and the altercation arose. you don't even know why he's upset with you, which would lead to you crying because you don't know what to do. when he sees you crying, he would stop immediately and apologize to you, ending the argument.

chenle. the first few minutes of watching you cry he'd ignore you. you're just exaggerating, like always. he'd add fuel to the fire and keep arguing even when you're not responding. it is then when a bad feeling would start crackling in his stomach he would freeze in place not knowing what to do after saying all those mean things to you that he nows regrets. he approaches slowly, feeling the area, searching for any discomfort from you. his arms holds you, both remaining silent for an eternity, until one of you decide it's right to speak again.

renjun. unbelief bathes his features, because you're clearly using the crying card to get away with it. he won't give in, you're very stubborn and so is he. he can't believe you're crying about something he said, in the end, it's normal to have disagreements... maybe he's gone too far in trying to make his point. but you really act very well, he begins to believe you, until he realizes the seriousness of the situation and that he really hurt you with his actions. he'd feel like the worst person in the world for believing you'd cry just to be right, he hates thinking that way about you, because it couldn't be further from the truth.

haechan. he doesn't see the consequences of his actions until it happens. this time he didn't think that raising his voice would have that reaction from you, but you kept talking over him, and he had to make his point. watching you freeze would make him see how bad it was to do it. anxiety eats him alive, and makes him restless because you're not talking anymore and your lips trembles. but he's still stubborn, and lets you go into the room while he sorts out his thoughts, waiting for the waters to calm down before he says anything else that might hurt you.

jaemin. he scolds you too much because he worries too much. he doesn't see the severity in his tone of voice when he tells you how dangerous it is to cut vegetables like that; gets very nervous and anxious that you're going to hurt yourself, which inevitably happens. then he starts reprimanding you and it feels very stimulating for you. he takes care of the wound but you still feel his anger towards you. however, it is not a nuisance but a frustrating and heavy concern for your well-being. but you don't know that, and he doesn't express it, so you burst into tears.

jisung. too stunned to move or speak. he just stays there and watches you cry because he can't get it into his head that you'd have become so sensitive about a comment he didn't even mean it. you seem a little affected, maybe if he gets close you'll reject him, and he won't stand you pushing him away if he tries to comfort you, so he stays close and quiet. until you seem to start to calm down, wipe away your tears and walk away to your bedroom without looking at him, heartbroken because he hasn't even bothered to hug you.

mark. he knows how much you don't like arguing with him, which inevitably leads to him biting his tongue. it makes you feel guilty that he cares so much that he doesn't want to express himself sincerely. as you try to make your point and ask him to tell you things no matter how raw they are, tears come to your eyes. he would apologize immediately and cease the discussion immediately. no disagreement's worth crying about, and there's no anger that's enough not to comfort you in the moment.

© diorcities / tagging @tddyhyck ♡︎

#nct dream reaction #nct dream angst #nct dream imagines #haechan imagines #mark imagines #jeno imagines #renjun imagines #park jisung imagines #chenle imagines #jaemin imagines #♡︎dream

[3hks]

Writing Character CHANGE

Character development is absolutely CRUCIAL to a story, but having spent more time thinking about this topic, I came to the realization that I misunderstood a lot of points other people have made when teaching how to write character development.

There are a lot of factors that play into character development, but in this post, I'll cover some overall, but the main thing concerns any change to your character! (Which is also a huge part in development, really.)

So with this post, I'll be teaching you MY personal tips regarding this subject!

*The Basics*

Before we really get into the developmental stage, there are some things you want to establish, in which I'll explain later!

A couple of flaws.

How your character views themselves at first.

Your character's morals/ideals and how they think.

These things may vary, but you want your readers to be able to at least roughly predict how your character will act during specific events!

*Change*

Character development is just about how your character changes throughout the story. I like to say that there are several different ways one may change, (we'll get into that later on) but your character should NOT stay the same as the same person during the exposition and during the resolution!

"During character development, your character should grow."

This is a common piece of advice; your character needs to grow. And while I've assumed for the longest time that I understood what it meant, it never truly clicked.

While they will use words such as grow, what they really mean is that your character should mature. By the end of your story, your character may not always end up as a better person. When I say mature, I mean that they have reflected back on their life and have understood the consequences that came with their actions (if any) or how they could've done things differently.

Your character will not always end up as a better, fixed person, but they should understand their world and themselves better.

*Negative/Passive Change*

Alright then, so how does a character develop if they don't necessarily change for the better? Well, I'll get into that!

No matter what, your character should have learned a lesson through their experience. Even if they haven't exactly improved as a person, there should be a moral they can learn from what they have gone through.

If not, then did they really grow?

Additionally, how did their qualities negatively impact themselves? If they are bad traits, then it needs to be clear. And the best way to achieve this is by demonstrating how it hurts your character! However, it is rather uncommon for a character to undergo little to no change after a story!

*Positive Change*

Let's circle back to the basics, real quick. Remember how I said that before any development takes place, your character should be anything but perfect? That same thing applies to after the change.

Do NOT create a flawless character by the end of your story. Instead, focus on one or two flaws that get fixed as the story continues. These don't have to be huge, life-changing imperfections, but they can be minor ones that still shape their life in one way or another.

"Fixing" too many shortcomings can make your character seem, well, out of character, producing a character development that's more forced. The same thing applies if you're attempting to FULLY alter a fault that's just too big. The change will be too noticeable.

What am I talking about? Here's an example!

Imagine a character who's incredibly closed off to other people, wanting to ensure that he never gets too close to others.

That's a pretty sizable flaw, no? By the end of your story, you do not want to completely change because you need to preserve character, but you can change it a bit. Does he have a few friends now? Does he understand that there are some people worth trusting?

He may still be closed off to majority of people, but at least it's not everyone, and that's a realistic change.

*Different Changes*

As I continue to read more stories and watch more shows, I have realized that character development is not always about fixing flaws or personality, but it can extend far past that line.

So listen up, because I feel like no one really talks about this.

Your character can change their IDEALS, MORALS, and how they VIEW THEMSELVES.

Hear that? If your character has strong morals, they will hardly stay the same as they reach the end. Remember the requirements I mentioned at the beginning?

See how it connects now? There is SO much more to character development than changing a few imperfections. Like I said in the start, your character needs to grow and mature. Things like new morals or ideals assist with that!

*SUMMARY*

In order to start character development, you need a couple of flaws, an idea of how your character looks at themselves, and their morals. This is because those are the main parts of you character that may change through time.

Growth = Maturing (gaining a better sense of who they are and the world they live in.)

NOT ALL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS POSITIVE!

For negative or passive change, make sure to clarify how their imperfections affected or hurt them and have some sort of moral that follows.

YOUR CHARACTER SHOULD NOT BE PERFECT!

They should not be perfect in the beginning, and not perfect in the end! Do not 'fix' too many traits because you want to preserve character.

I think that's all! It's quite the post for something so simple, eh? But hey, character development is absolutely PIVOTAL to a story so I hope I at least explained the 'change' part of that well!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

#writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing tips #creative writing #writing inspo #writing advice #character writing #writing characters development #character development #character change #writing characters change #character building #tips on character development #tips on character building #advice on character building #advice on character development

[trans-xianxian]

as much as I love wei wuxian and slander against him is banned from this house I Do sometimes think that people forget he's like. supposed to be a morally complex person who did things that were bad. like the whole point of him and his story is that he was a good man who was pushed to do terrible things, and when we fail to examine those terrible things/completely ignore them, we're sort of doing wei wuxian and the points being made by his arc a disservice

#I think ppl get very defensive #and don't realize that bad actions =/= bad person #which is kind of the whole point of story #or even more so like. how justification works into all of it #like objectively mass murder is generally considered not great #but wei wuxian was practically forced through years of mistreatment and public ostracization #into the bloodbath and nevernight #like thats the whole THING thats the whole STORY #and part of his resurrection is him coming to terms with the fact that he did things he never wanted to!!!! #like aaaaadghfhhh shakes you shakes you shakes you THATS THE WHOLE POINT #like I love him we know this I'm his number 1 fan I think his war crimes are sexy etc etc #but when engaging in genuine thoughtful analysis of his character #it is a disservice to say he did nothing wrong #and loving his character Anyway is also kind of the point #someone can do terrible things and still deserve to be loved #ghost posts #text #wwx

[shizukais]

#anime #manga #vanitas no carte #vnc #the case study of vanitas #lord ruthven #august ruthven #hear me out ! ruthven is one of the most intriguing characters to me #despite being portrayed as an antagonist i can't really see him completely fitting into that role / ruthven's actions are ambiguous #yea yeah he's a manipulative mf and is doing bad things now but i don't think that's what it's all about #i believe ruthven is being controlled by something (?) through his right eye and has no much choice in that matter #in the scene where ruthven tried to put a curse on chloe he looks almost shocked when he realizes what he was doing #he also spoke to someone who wasn't there and it seemed to be an act of desperation / even though the war was already over (?) by that time #the eye shows him terrible things ever since the war (and the betrayal that i'm not sure if really happened or was staged to trick him) #i think the continuous trauma the eye causes on him shaped him to be a colder and more cruel person #the opposite of what his original self showed to be (someone more like noe in beliefs and world view) #i guess he truly believes he's doing this for the sake of vampires / that idea of “sacrifices will be necessary for the greater good” #this could explain the alliance w charlatan who seeks to find a way to create more vampires (moreau's research) & rewrite the world formula #also it's clear that ruthven has a distorted view of vampire's malnomen (what caused that? what he saw in the war?) #both for his speech referring to luca's brother “salvation takes many forms (...)” and for the way he uses his own curse on others #until now we know he cursed queen faustina / jeanne / noe (i doubt he would betray the queen without a reason) #maybe his right eye is a malnomen he considers now as a form of freedom / or maybe that allowed him to finally see the “truth” #and yet i think his character is constantly questioning himself about it (in a very sutil way) #(e.g. when he listens noe talk about his ideals / when he sees jeanne dressed like a normal girl after her date) #in these moments we can see him falter a little bit and his expression changes to something more soft and genuine / introspective and sad #the curse he put on noe i think it has more than 1 purpose: 1)trump card against teacher 2)to not kill noe as monsieur spider had demanded #at first i thought it might be for naenia get noe's true name but if that were the case she would have done it by now #and in that moment naenia regained her form for a brief moment in d'apchier mansion and everyone felt her presence #ruthven looked equally surprised so he must not know naenia's true identity either (is he being used?) #lol i could write an essay about vnc... so many tags... lol sry i got carried away!

[elytrafemme]

also like. life update. since coming to college i think i've decided i want to be less online in general, because i don't think it benefits my mental health to be on any online website too much. i know i still have strong ties to fandom and whatnot but i'm trying to reconcile my relationship with the things i've created knowing the headspace i was in when that happened; cs is more of a diary to me than anything, at least where i'm at currently. i DO want to be on discord more this break because there's people i want to VC and catch up with-- but ultimately i think i'm like exactly the worst kind of person to operate with any kind of stability on the internet so we're going to mess around with what that looks like for me for a while. love u guys and once finals are officially up in two days i'll be back to say hi :]

#nightmare.personal #i just think like. idk. i don't really know how to compassionately phrase this #but i realized with all the stuff happening in the world that like. #it's just far better to host those conversations and do those actions irl? #for a lot of reasons. one of the major ones being that its easier to weed out people in real life who are like #wildly antisemitic and awful shit like that. vs being online its like people do that for breakfast #it's also just easier to do meaningful things. so then kind of from that i was just thinking and like #it's weird! because i don't miss the act of posting or opening discord or anything #but i miss the people. but also the way you interact with online friends is so distinctive? #like i can't just get everyone's phone numbers. it'd kind of be sick if i could but you know. everyone feels diff about internet security #so like i'm constantly drawn back to tumblr because i miss people and same with discord #but i don't really adore being on here that much so it's like. really weirdly perplexing #i'm also so goddamn bad at keeping up online friendships and everyone i know here has the patience of a saint #which i deeply appreciate it's also just kinda like. #if we were here in person i could so much better convey my appreciation for you all #so i just hope you know that i do appreciate you. it's weird. #i also have to separately reconcile with the fact that i'm an evolving person IRL #but online that comes at a lag? so like i don't even know how anyone perceives my personality #because it's not that i ever really faked it its just kind of like. we all start somewhere #i don't know what i'm saying. it's disorienting is my point. #i guess i could fix this if i got the discord or tumblr app but #i'm not going to do either of those things but like. i don't know #i wish i talked more regularly to people but the actual process of doing that feels so odd to me #i dunno. we party

[lloydfrontera]

mmgghh imagine julian having a zoe murphy from deh style breakdown as he tries to reconcile the brother he remembers, the one that abused him for years and years on end, that never brought him anything but pain, that would beat him up for the slightest provocation, with the one that meets him at the academy, the one that saved a city, the one that is working relentlessly to save their family from ruin, the one that defends him from bullies and tells him it was never his fault that others harassed him

just. julian getting to express the rage and confusion and conflicted emotions that would come with the person that abused him for years changing completely out of nowhere and turning into the older brother he'd always wanted.

so don't tell me i didn't have it right don't tell me it wasn't black and white after all you put me through don't say it wasn't true that you were not the monster that i knew

#i talk a lot <3 #tged #the greatest estate developer #julian frontera #if i think too hard about the fact that julian forgave his abusive older brother because of the actions of a completely different person #and we never got to see the fall out of him realizing the person he forgave never actually made amends with him #and all his feelings of rage and disgust were completely valid and he never had any reason for feeling guilty about hating his brother #because the person that he grew to care for and protected him was a completely different one. i do start going a little feral not gonna lie #i just!! don't like that julian was made to feel like he was in the wrong for feeling like he was the one that had it hardest!! #cause he did!! he fucking did!!! #this kid was abused physically and verbally since childhood by his older brother. basically ran from home the moment he was legally allowed #to and then also got harassed and humiliated by his classmates at school while all the authorities looked the other way #had it not been for suho transmigrating into lloyd's body (which is an external factor and should not be taken into account) #julian would by all means be allowed to say he had it the roughest of the family!!! #but because lloyd meddled (which is. to be fair. not a bad thing) julian was made to feel like he was being whiny #for thinking he had it rough while his older brother worked his ass off to save their family #i know no one cares about this but i do!!! i have so many feelings about julian!! he deserved better!! i needed more content about him!! #we never even got a scene with him being told that the brother he grew to love and want to make proud was not the brother that abused him #what's the point of it all 😭

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 13: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should just start crying whilst being robbed in the abandoned barn ...

~

(----- tw for mild violence (he gets into sort of a fight) until after the next orange text section in parentheses -----)

Not sure what else to even do, The Adventurer simply collapses into a ball on the floor and starts sobbing, screaming, and rolling about. The hooded figure pauses in confusion at first, but.. apparently is not very sympathetic to his plight.

They rush over, grappling with him as he cries, fighting to pry the backpack out of his hands. The Adventurer continues screeching frantically, and during some of his flailing accidentally swings his arm up, elbowing the hooded figure in the face. They let out an exasperated sigh, knocking him against the wall then firmly yanking him up by the hair, securing their arm around his throat to restrain him as they grab for the backpack. He kicks a few times, struggling, clawing at the hooded figure's arms, but just isn't strong enough to free himself.. There's a thwack and a sudden sharpness in the side of his head, the backpack pulling away from his shoulders, cold ground, and then… nothing at all..…

(------------------- mild violence tw over -----------------) ...............

The Adventurer slowly opens his eyes to a quiet foggy morning.. Tiny particles in the dusty barn air gently flutter to and fro, dancing around in the streams of early sunlight trickling through the slight crack of the front doors. With a groan, he rolls over, suddenly feeling every ache in his body. His head, his wrist, his leg injury from crashing the raft.. He spends a while just laying on his back, watching the dust and gazing hopelessly at the moldy boards of the roof, mustering the strength to sit upright… What can he even do next? He's failed.. His first EVER actual quest of his adventuring career, and he can't even keep a stupid egg safe for more than a few days! What type of adventurer is that?? Maybe he should just give up.. Go back home and do nothing with his life, just as he was meant to... He sighs, turning back onto his side and curling into a ball to sulk even more dramatically. The cat trots over to him to interrupt his swirling thoughts, pawing at his face, then directing him towards a small stack of hay in the corner where... there it is! His backpack!! He scrambles over, immediately digging through to check for his belongings.. To his surprise, everything it still in it's place. His food, his money, all of the cool shiny rocks he's collected so far.. And tucked away in the very bottom, the Mysterious Egg box remains, completely undamaged.. somehow with the egg still inside! And... a note? He shakily unfolds a crisp sheet of pale yellow paper dotted with a few scribbly letters: "I took care of her for you. Be more careful next time. Just get where you have to go."

Well...... He supposes that if there's apparently going to be weirdos following him around anyway, maybe he's lucky at least one of them seems nice. Better than trying to ROB him, at least.. Even if it is a bit creepy. He realizes now that his injuries have been bandaged as well, and that when he woke up, he was wrapped in a blanket, and.. where is the hooded figure? What does the stranger mean that they "took care" of her?? He turns to the cat for answers, as if they'd be able to clear up his confusions, but they simply make a "mrrp!" noise and stare blankly in response. Figuring that it's all far too much to think about first thing in the morning (especially with the headache that he has), he just decides to be thankful he at least still has the egg, and thus can continue on his grand adventure!! He will NOT let himself fail again! Sore and limping but full of renewed motivation, he leaps up (at least as best he can) and continues back onto the road. After walking only a few hours, he comes to a clearing at the top of a large hill, overlooking the next stop on his journey (then double checks the map just to make sure it actually IS the next stop). This is a much bigger area than the previous villages he's been to, possibly large enough to even count as a small city. With a wider variation of shops and attractions available to him than usual, he wonders if he should just take a break and relax the rest of the day.

He's too tired to walk much today anyway, soo.. maybe it'd be good for him to spend some time in a safe public space, doing something to help take his mind off of this morning's drama… But, what should he do?

-

-

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #poll #polls #choose your own adventure #ERM.. okay I didn't mean to take a 2 week break from doing these. I just got really really busy with Life Things #had various appointments in a row and stuff to sort out. I kept thinking like 'oh I need to get back to that!' and then would be doing #other stuff all day and then at the end of the day just realize that I.. hadn't.. BUT i AM DOING IT NOW!! #I think it's more effective if it's at least once every 1-3 days so that people don't forget the entire story before the next one is out lo #*lol.. but.. alas #Sorry I had to have something bad happen to him. I know I could have made it silly instead like the hooded figure was just like #secretly very sensitive and thinking 'AWW sowwy ur crying #do you want a donut? :(' or something but.. I had to be realistic lol #If some obviously threatening person is coming after you because they want to steal and extremely valuable item from you #for their boss or to sell themselves or whatever. you being vulnerable is just going to give them a chance to take it from you #there are very few instances where realistically that WOULDN'T happen. gbhjb.. #Also note: I did not make up the mysterious person who ''saves'' him as a cop out from giving him actual consequences t #o his actions or something. I know it's convenient - but it does make sense. There have always been multiple people following him ever #since he was at the Inn. Even though the Inkeeper tried to hide it very fast and keep hush hush about it. there were people there #who were alerted to the fact that he has the egg. Mostly two specifically. One of them has always been more benevolent because #they have a different end goal. Which is like.. not extremely benevolent actually ghhjbhbj.. but it makes sense for them to act #benevolent at the moment because they have an interest in seeing that the egg is taken to it's ''proper place''. #The two people following him were not directly connected or working for the same people or anything. But the one who just helped him #obviously was very aware of the other. and the other didn't know about the helpful one. ANYWAY #A stumbling block in the beginning of his grand adventuring journey. hopefully things go better for him from here lol #His injuries are pretty minor but he still feels bad since he's not used to fighting. I think he deserves a relax day #he was already 5 seconds away from crying at any given time. now on top of that he's got bruises and a sprained wrist and a headache #and he's not used to having ever been injured or ''fought'' anyone before so he WILL be being very dramatic about it in his head and #finding every possible chance to mention to anyone who will listen about how he was so so brave and got in such a wild fight #and also feels so so bad and please tell him everything will be okay and oh he is so so so injured *big wet seal eyes* #he IS going to feel sorry for himself for weeks gghbjhb..

[rosenecklaces]

do you guys remember that one blog that is called something like "courtOfImRight" or whatever. and like half their posts where about relating elain's recovery to lucien saying she needs sun cause he put "the idea on her mind" and she obligued then they psychoanalized (badly) her reaction to lucien of just she being shy to him, while completely ignoring the hand and garden scene moment, literally telling people that wasn't really what happened somehow?....

literally visual storytelling on the acotar fandom, we can't make this shit up

#acotar #ish #something something this people love to grabs on strands and their own mental preferences than face the truth and facts #they really need to hold into this illusion of A Secret Meaning behind elain or lulu behavior even though their actions and mind are #already pretty clear and sjm is anything BUT subtle #if they let their daydreams and personal ideas of what elain should be/would be with they would realize they had been stupid wasting time #on made up scenarios...anyways #this type of fans especifically are going to have a very bad time when her book comes and they get a slap of reality check about what this #series is about and how romance works on it 💁🏽‍♀️ #elain archeron #pro elain #the irony of acotar blogs being called like My opinion is Right. and then it never fucking is they don't even make sense

[pankomako]

sometimes media serves as an example of what NOT to do. now i say this thinking about a streamer committing too much time to an impossible task when he has more important things to do but genuinely this goes for a lot of media and people need to remember that

#people saying 'oh this character is a bad example' maybe that's the point. #a lot of the time a creator will write with the intention of saying 'hey see this? don't do this.' but you cant expect them to just SAY tha #a good writer's not gonna take the consumer aside and say that Thing Bad. it circles back to showing not telling #if the character doing Bad Thing ends up facing consequences for their actions it's safe to say that the author thinks Thing Bad! #i have ocs who smoke but i would never smoke myself nor encourage others to. eventually these ocs quit smoking late in the narrative #but one of them has to realize how his smoking negatively affects his relationships before he makes the decision to quit #for a majority of the story he happily smokes and sees nothing wrong with it nor does the rest of the main cast say much abt it #a lot of the ocs in this story are bad examples one way or another. in fact one is an abuser but he eventually gets what he deserves #a person could create bigoted characters that may not even be antagonists but that does not mean they themself are bigoted #it's important to look at the writing surrounding a character before claiming the creator is glorifying or supports the character's actions #but apparently some people just dont do that i guess! like idk ive heard things #if i were to write a story about queerness it would NOT be happy feel-good everyone is supportive rainbow utopia. there WOULD be queerphobe #simply because i want to reflect my experience. would the queerphobes change? probably not! doesnt mean i agree with them #whoopsie i went on a tangent. didnt even mean to haha

[cowardlycowboys]

my dad I think was joking by saying "gotta be careful what you say around kids because according to you guys I was a bad dad" like....I never said THAT I just didn't really appreciate all the things you said and did

#omg kiera no one cares #started dumping and then realized I'm good no one cares and also i don't care #but I've never said he's a bad dad i just said his actions subsequently gave me a personality disorder and massive daddy issues

[999-roses]

@ihatethewest is a radfem who has a huge terf following and often interacts with other radfem blogs (if you search "feminism" on their blog, it's all from radfems)

Anon I think if you go tell them about it directly, it might resolve your issue??

inb4 the rest: I haven't contacted her before posting this reply;; anon i did take your suggestion to search her blog under 'feminism' and originally did see some questionable posts. but as I'm typing this response, I refreshed the search and it appears that she's actively removing rbs from radfems, maybe she got shinigami eyes a little late in the game, who knows. so... anon. did I do anything wrong? I don't think I've reblogged posts with terf radfem content but please let me know if I did thanks 👍

this is not an invitation for any radfems/terfs thinking my blog is friendly to you lot. you will be welcome here once you dismantle the hateful ideology from your mind and are no longer a radfem including you 'cryptos'

#asks #anon #the girls are fighting.txt #I mean if I've rb'd any specific posts that have harmful rhetoric pls let me know. I'll delete it #because yeah. I don't support any transphobia or misandry #while tumblr does seem to want to suggest 'blogs like this one' that have those components of radfem off of @ihatethewest's blog. #i don't see posts of that flavor on their blog? maybe she was radfem back in the day but i'd say it looks like she's not anymore #idk maybe that's where a lot of people start & then realize there are many parts of it that are bad!! u can talk to them directly about it? #I don't want to judge people purely by their past as if their current actions/change don't count. #i don't want to subscribe to 'once an x always an x' especially when it comes to ideology. which is something that CAN change #this is also like the 2nd blog that someone's told me is a radfem but also happens to be black ??? #the other one was legit BAD w/ terf shit tho. like that was deserving of calling out. also the person who told me wasnt anon #<- im NOT saying that being black is an excuse/shield for terfism NOR am i saying that black feminism->radfem. #but is it a coincidence?? it is misogynoir on the part of anon???? whats going on folks. what. is. happening. #idk im tired. hey anon! you wanna tell me about other blogs that are for black liberation and aren't 'work with the establishment' liberal? #like im trying to get clued in to aligned struggles. clearly i have a void to fill wrt listening to black folk & im trying to remedy that #thru youtube and tumblr. purity policing is making it... annoying. also people's thoughts can change over time hello #exhibit A right here. I used to be a liberal & thought NPR was the bomb.com lmfao. u think people should start out perfect or be beheaded?? #chen yells at clouds. more at 10

[solemntitty]

u ever just come to Realizations at 25 abt yr childhood and yr like. damn why was i always telling myself my childhood wasn't that bad so that meant that i felt like i didn't have to deal w the Effects of It All

because now we certainly need to deal with the Effects

#jamie has made a statement #most bc uhhhhh *checks notes* we cannot function #turns out having no emotionally intelligent parents + one parent having a potentially fatal chronic illness which resulted in. me being #emotionally abused by said person w a chronic illness has consequences! #mostly just intentionally locking away everything having to do with that Time #i was also severely mentally ill and friendless and uhhhh never got the treatment i actually needed bc #my therapist was on said emotional abuser's side and used to be said person's therapist before me! #my mom has also tried to get the name of my sister's therapist so uh yeah the boundaries of my parents w therapy is Not Good #also ofc mostly got berated for having Symptoms of Disorders and not being supportive enough during all of her chemo #it got to the point of me considering illegal actions #oh. typing this out i'm. realizing how bad it was #also no she never apologized. #or if she did i don't remember because it was one of the usual apology non apologies #GOD ANOTHER THING she tried to get me treatment for said mental illness when i was about 12-13 and would basically #made me??? take the meds even though i didn't want to??? it got to the point where i was spitting them back #and basically faking taking them right in front of her #she never really asked me why i felt like that and it was bc i felt like they just wanted me to be a Success and not actually. a person #imagine having a child w mental illness and making no effort to understand what their day to day experience is #she later blamed me for not getting help for my mental illness when i was a child. i had selective mutism panic attack disorder all related #to social anxiety. of course i fucking couldn't. and they would never notice until it was a Oh We Didn't Make A Normal Child issue

[smonk-wonk]

you are so weird to me. if I didn't want someone to interact w me I wouldn't respond to them at all. it makes it seem like "don't interact w me" isn't that real of a boundary, not answering and not giving me attention would take 0 effort for you. but I do still respect it way more often than not.

and I'd like to say. I have no expectation, or hope or w/e, to ever get a yes out of any of you. I don't know that I'd want that even. and tbh, initially, the reason I kept interacting w you was to make sure I never would. idr whether I've told you that. but either way, that's been successful at least (and now I'm kind of regretting it).

you never liked me? I'd /love/ to know why tbh, cuz, again, you don't know me. you never did and I'd say it's safe to assume you never will. unless you change your mind, which you should consider, cuz I'm rly not a bad person to be friends w.

goodnight!

#my bad is this better? #maybe Scott thought you were cool for a bit but that's because he was pretty vulnerable at the time i think #i mean considering that you were abusive and manipulative and harassed him for several months #before he said he was cool being around you in a friendly way? #and then he realized you kinda really freak him out. #you freak people out you're a freak #not cole anymore but I'm equally fond of you (think u should go skydiving without a parachute) #if you want MY reason it's that you're a freak you remind me of a lot of weird ass fucked up obsessive mfs #also if you did that on purpose then welcome to the consequences of your actions ig! #you're fucking annoying and don't take no for an answer. not taking a no is #one of if not the biggest red flag in a person for me! #and most sane people! and because of your actions you will never be trusted #not by me #and I would see to it that I'm also a problem 💕 #except you wouldn't get a yes from him so 🤷‍♂️ #it's already a no before you ask again if you hadn't guessed

[sugarsprinklesoul]

5 RULES TO REMAIN UNBOTHERED

Rule 1 - Expect less from people:

The first rule to staying unbothered is to expect less from people. Not everyone is you, and you can't expect other peole to hold themselves to the high standards that you set for yourself and it isn't your job to force them to see their potential. Everyone else is going out every weekend, vaping and thinks you're uncool? They don't have your drive or your ambition. Focus on yourself.

Rule 2: Stop arguing with people:

It's not your responsibility to make stupid people recognize that they are stupid. Do not waste your time trying to convince people that you are right they have already made up their mind about you. Prove them wrong with your actions; if they aren't paying your bills, they are irrelevant.

Rule 3: If they wanted to, they would:

Self-explanatory, and especially applies to guys. If he wanted to test you, he would. I he wanted to actually plan something instead of sending a last minute "wyd," he would. Invest your time into someone wo actually cares about you

Rule 4: Log off:

Be honest with yourself when you get on social media, do you feel inspired or like you're wasting time? So much of social media is time sink designed to make you less productive. Ignore the bad takes, block out the negativity, all of means nothing I knew I matured when I realized every situation doesn't need at reaction. Sometimes you just gotta leave people to do the lame shit they do.

Rule 5: Ask "okay, and:

Being unbothered is all about knowing your worth your opinion of you is so much more valid than that random person at school or work who's jealous of you, let's be honest. When someone says something negative to you ask yourself "okay, and some random girl says she hates you, will that really affect your life? No Keep your eyes on the price, and keep perspective by focusing on things that really matter skincare and workouts, academies, investing, making money, and becoming the best version of yourself

#inspiration #self love #motivation #self help #self improvement #self care #glow up #glow up era #becoming that girl #manifesation #self confidence #self development #self awareness #personal growth #positive mindset #self growth #growth mindset #priorities

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #why are people so bad at communicating like bro respect my fucking time please #if you tell me half an hour don't make me wait an hour and a half istg I'll fucking kill you with my bare hands #you can't disappear for an hour right after committing to hang out and then be like “oh sorry I got busy” BITCH LET ME KNOW THEN #I literally won't mind if something comes up but you have to fucking tell me you can't just disappear for an hour and then be like sorry #and then you fucking do it again. like. cool I try to be a nice person but if you can't do basic communication then I'm leaving #I would genuinely rather be alone then put up with someone I dislike. I will pick isolation over a shitty person every time #I'm not so desperate that I need you. I'm not so desperate that you can put me on hold whenever you want. #ugh ugh ugh like. basic consideration for others hello? like. if I'm sitting with my phone in my hands waiting for you to message me #that's my time your wasting. that's my evening your sitting on. I could be talking to friends. watching a movie. playing video games. #instead I'm spending it getting ghosted because your communication skills fucking suck ass and you don't give a shit about my schedule #I'm genuinely so pissed. I don't give a shit how sorry you are. don't be sorry be better. act differently if you really realize you need to #best advice I can give. don't forgive anyone. if they change. accept that they've changed. #but forgiveness gets taught as something to be given regardless of whether they've changed or not. they say sorry and you say I forgive you #bullshit- they say sorry and you say “prove it. become a better person. learn from your mistakes. don't repeat the hurt you've caused” #you don't need my forgiveness. it only justifies your actions. I won't forgive. I'll accept the change you show me your capable of. #no one deserves your forgiveness. no one deserves your love. no one is entitled to you just because they perform the emotions correctly #relationship is earned. trust is proven. time is given. if your motives and actions do not match up then you can go get fucked. #ugh I'm still burnt out from visiting family I'm so fucking tired and angry at everyone and everything I hate being emotionally unstable #fun fact I even get clumsy when I'm like this. being emotionally unstable fucks me up physically too. I have to hold things with both hands #and I lose my balance a lot more. I'm just so physically exhausted. I hate being this way I hate being this way I hate being this way #so glad I backed out of the family reunion though. that would have genuinely put me in such a bad place. #only two more days of work and I'm free though. then we're moving which is gonna be more stress but better than family stress #work was getting boring and annoying and I'm glad to be done with it. maybe one day I'll be able to hold down a job for more than six month #excuse me while I go listen to Maretu at high volumes to vent my rage