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#and a box of kitchen stuff. and a box with some random closet shit.
orcelito · 2 years
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I unpacked A Box. I'm trying out this new thing called unpacking One Box per day. So that I can finally get all this shit unpacked. I moved here a YEAR ago and im only making an effort to unpack now.
It happens.
#speculation nation#IT WAS THE STORAGE I DIDNT HAVE THE STORAGE FOR UNPACKING#i yell as if i didnt have plenty of space for clothes in my dressors that went unused lmao#i unpacked a box of tshirts and jeans today that's been sitting in my room for at Least 9 months#yesterday my headache made me not wanna unpack BUT the day before i unpacked the box with all my pocket knives in it#at this point most of my boxes left r clothes. tho i do have a box of assorted electronics (mostly my wii & wii games)#and a box of kitchen stuff. and a box with some random closet shit.#Not normal clothes tho. my kenma cosplay is in there (i know bc tally dragged that wig out SEVERAL times)#almost definitely cant fit into those shorts anymore bc they were tight on me at 17 and my hips have Definitely grown#but i could maybe wear the jersey 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 i still love him so like Maybe#me unpacking my tshirts was like 'oh i forgot i had a p4 shirt! oh i forgot i had an evangelion shirt! oh i forgot i had-'#i have a p4 shirt. evangalion. 2 kingdom hearts. 2 legend of zelda (1 of which is botw specifically)#uhhh theres also flcl. AND also some band tshirts#found my one ok rock tshirt!!!! cant believe i went to a concert in 2017 & only really became a fan AFTER in 2021#it's a cool fuckin shirt tho. i also saw set it off in that concert as the opener. which i had Zero idea who they were then lol#oh i also have a bob ross tshirt. AND a gay cat tshirt. as in 'proud owner of a gay cat'. also some cat theme shirts that are gay.#uhm i have a lot of tshirts i have and barely wear bc i only wear my uniform shirts when going out lol#but at least i remember they exist!!! and they r easily accessible again. Yes.
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mrs-dr-reid · 1 year
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My Personal Dean Winchester Headcanons
Part 1/?
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FOREHEAD. KISSES. If this man doesn’t kiss your forehead at least 15 times a day, he might die. He MUST ALWAYS kiss your forehead, whether he’s saying “hi”, “good morning”, “I love you”, “I missed you”, “goodnight”, “how are you?”, whatever the occasion or conversation, you bet your ass a forehead kiss is coming with it
You get him a record player for Christmas the year after you guys start living in the bunker because you found two gigantic boxes of vinyls in a storage closet, and now whenever he’s cooking, researching with you and Sam, or cleaning his guns/knives/other objects that kill things, he’s listening to his records
Will take any opportunity to get his hands on you in both every day and nsfw situations. Whether it be putting his hand in your back pocket while walking somewhere, kicking Sam from the shotgun seat solely so he can hold your hand while he’s driving, throwing you over his shoulder while you’re doing chores and forcing you to snuggle with him, or kissing your neck while you’re doing stuff because he’s a horny little shit, he’s gonna do it
During really long stretches between hunts when you guys are just hanging around the bunker not doing anything, he organizes “Nostalgic Media Nights” with popcorn and snacks and the works, where he either locates an old cartoon, movie, or sitcom from when y’all were kids/teens on a streaming platform or bootlegs it, and y’all sit down in the living room to watch it, and it doubles as an “Introduce Cas To Mortal Pop Culture Night” as well. He nearly threw up when Cas said he genuinely enjoyed One Tree Hill when the rest of you guys only put it on to make fun of how bad it was
All of his flannels are organized in his closet in the order of how much he wears them, with the most often worn on the left and the least often worn on the right. Sam hates it and always tries to arrange them by color, but he just puts it right back claiming his system is better anyway
Very handy. He always fixes things in the bunker before you or Sam even notice that they’re broken, and you only learn that they were broken when you ask him what he did that day and he offhandedly mentions that he fixed a thing
He collects vintage cookbooks. He finds them in thrift stores and at flea markets, and a couple times a month you three pick a random book and scour through it to find the most offensive and war crime adjacent recipe you can and try it out. You all like jello much less than you did before you started this tradition
When he gets sick, he’ll deny it and try to keep on trucking until he actually passes out from exhaustion, so you have to borderline barricade him in his room to make sure he stays in bed and gets some rest. And he’s a total grump about it, but he’ll still thank you quietly when you bring him ginger ale and tomato rice soup like his mom used to make
He watches cooking shows for the sole purpose of shit talking the contestants. It’s hilarious to watch him while he’s watching Hell’s Kitchen, because he turns into an American Gordon Ramsay and just roasts the hell out of all the competitors. But when he’s watching Great British Baking Show? He was once heard saying, “Oh come on, Barbara, those bagels are flat as hell! STEP UP YOUR GAME, WOMAN, OR YOU WON’T LIVE TO SEE THE END OF BREAD WEEK!”, and you and Sam proceeded to die laughing
He sings in the shower, but he does it in a way that he puts on a SHOW in the shower. He exclusively listens to hair metal while he’s in the shower, and he acts like he’s actually on stage with all of his favorite artists while washing his pits. Although one time you did hear him singing along to "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift, and you had to fight every urge you had to not record him for blackmail purposes
When he sleeps by himself, he starfishes on his stomach so he can reach the gun under his pillow easier. But when he sleeps with you, he lays on his back with an arm slung around your waist while you’re partially sprawled over him and snuggled into his chest
He’s very bi. Sam always makes jokes that Cas is his boyfriend, but you’re his wife, which always earns a “Confused Angel Head Tilt™️” from Cas, an eye roll from you, and a facepalm from Dean
He taught himself Morse code on a whim because he was bored out of his mind, and for a while he was able to get away with making fun of Sam or “creating chick flick moments” for you, but then you and Sam taught yourselves Morse code and totally call him out on his attempt at being sneaky
He’s absolutely TERRIBLE about keeping New Year’s Resolutions. He makes a list, and he actually follows them for a while as lofty as they end up being, but come February 1st, he’s back to being the same dumpster fire of a human being he was before, but he still gives himself a pat on the back for lasting as long as he did
He’s secretly a cat person. He loves dogs, but he has to admit that cats are badasses. He’s never met a cat that he didn’t immediately like, and cats seem to gravitate towards him because they share his “no fucks given” attitude
He’s insanely good at guessing games like Guess Who, Charades, Pictionary, all that shit. You guys even came up with a way to play Guess Who where the questions you ask are almost too oddly specific based on the vibes of the little character cards, and he still always wins
His favorite way to kiss you is with both of his hands in your hair with your hands on his elbows. He always trails a few cheeky pecks down your neck for fun because he loves it when your cheeks flush bright red when he does
He always texts you to let you know he was thinking about you and what prompted his thoughts. Like “Saw a really pretty sunset earlier. You’re really pretty, too, so I thought of you” or “Saw a really cool car in your favorite color. Made me think of you”, and he always tacks on either a heart emoji or the “<3” because he’s an old man. You can’t help but smile every time you read one of those messages
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angie-j-kay · 7 months
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Okay, so we're spending the fall and winter in a house that our cousin bought recently. The previous owner's husband passed away a few years ago, and apparently she lived here half-nuts with grief for five years before throwing whatever she could into a car and leaving. Like, 2 of the bedrooms are just packed full of boxes of crap she left behind: photos, books, medicine... the kind of stuff you don't just leave.
Found so far in the house:
-several Bibles and crosses
-a Confederate flag
-a door that's been punched hard enough to splinter the particle board
-three closets worth of clothing
-high-end cookware (yay for me?)
-a collection of crystals and New Age goodies (also kinda cool)
-3 books on how to contact the dead
-2 books supposedly by people who had near-death experiences and witnessed Hell first-hand
-4 cast-iron skillets, in repairable condition
-several DVDs and a couple of books about demon possession and exorcism
-3 vacuum cleaners (why???)
-an 18-inch circle in the wall where someone tried to punch through drywall and failed.
And we've had some odd shit happen. At one point we came to work on cleaning before moving in, and found the doors all locked but somehow all of the lights on. ALL OF THEM. At another time, I was cooking supper and the supposedly broken oven just sort of started functioning perfectly: the clock was on, and the oven heated when we started it, then 2 hours later I looked over and it was broken again. Latched doors come open, this is an old house with warped wood, whatever. Random shit falls over, eh, I'm a klutz.
But this? This shit takes the cake. I took a bath, the husband was sitting in there chatting with me. Where he was sitting, he would have seen this if it had been there. We hung out in the kitchen for a while, then I came to use the toilet and found this:
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That is 3 cotton swabs. On the heater. Lined up. Like, the heater wasn't on, no one's in danger here, but... yeah. The husband just did a sweep of the house looking for intruders, found none.
Look, I'm the first person to snarl that you look for mundane causes before this, but unless someone expertly broke in here while we were in the kitchen, arranged 3 q-tips, then peaced out and locked the windows behind them, I got nothing.
Happy Halloween, I guess?
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fitgothgirl · 1 month
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My bf and I have both been getting super into spring cleaning, especially now that we’ve lived here over 5 years and some long-term clutter has accumulated in certain corners and cabinets… I think I’ve done at least one area everyday since the first day of spring lol. This also includes some things that have been on my to-do list forever, whether around the house or non-house things.
So far I’ve taken some shoes to the cobbler that I’ve been meaning to get fixed for probably over 5 years, returned the cat carrier to the rescue we got Puck from 3.5 years after adopting him, cleaned up the garage, cleaned the bottom part of our pantry where tons of plastic shopping bags and random shit had accumulated, cleaned out all my desk drawers, cleared out this corner next to my desk where miscellaneous stuffs had been building up and collecting dust, and reattached the cover to the bathtub drain that had come loose (that was also a to-do list item of a few years). My bf has cleaned out and organized under the kitchen sink, dealt with a bunch of his clothes, and he bought us a Roomba-type vacuum and has been setting up all that; it'll be nice to have it do the whole house now and then but it's especially for the bathroom where the litter box is - we have it set to do just that room and the hallway outside it twice a day.
There are still a few cabinets and a closet and the fridge/freezer (not the items inside, but actually cleaning the drawers/shelves) that I want to attack too, and I’m sure other things will pop up lol. Feels so nice to have so much stuff taken care of though. 😌
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silversupremacy · 2 years
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ii s3 cabana house
This is the weirdest thing to focus on- but here’s my floor plan in my brain for a cabana in ii s3. A few things got swapped (in the bedroom part there were so many spots I realized it wouldn’t work w/ my idea of each room when they’re right next to each other >.> ) but it’s fine it works now.
This house plan is specifically New Pinker’s in mind because that’s where most of my writing and drawing has been for, but I’d imagine that all cabanas have roughly the same stuff, just slightly different floor plans depending on who’s in what room.
Pls excuse the messy sketches
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Everything is ‘wheelchair’ accessible for Cabby and Goo (though Goo can go up stairs it takes so long to do it it’s just easier to not have stairs.) The only exception is that I put a porch on the front of the cabana so that character’s can look out wistfully while sitting on the steps BUT there’s a ramp that’s easy access and not too long that it’s annoying.
The living room is a step down into a couch pit- like this
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Note nothing I am drawing is to scale so if you’re like “wow that’s not a lot of space for cabby to get around” I’m doing this quick man I’m not measuring anything it’s just the rough visuals.
The TV didn’t come with too much but they have the equivalent of a netflix subscription and some people brought dvds and their gaming consoles. Paintbrush brought their equivalent of a Switch console and the group plays mario kart like every night. Plus the tv can connect to laptop if you want to jsut pirate content Mephone literally does not care.
There’s a large dining table in the main room equipped w/ stools (fun fact there is not a single chair in any of these houses! It’s just easier since every one is a different size and has different tails and shit it just gets annoying to get custom fitted chairs :I ). Most food is gotten fresh from the pic-nix table, but they have a fridge in the kitchen to store things longer term (Not gonna go to magic table at like 2am).
Contestants are free to bring/get brought their own stuff if they want to, which is why they have an electric tea kettle in the kitchen that does exact temperature water because silver spoon is not going to drink green tea with boiling water now is he??
The kitchen is equipped with a fridge, oven/stove, sink, and counters/cabinets. There is a smaller dining table in the kitchen as well. There is also a door to outside from the kitchen, there isn’t a porch or anything on that side.
Everyone has like, their own little corner of a shelf in the cabinets in the kitchen where they store whatever they want. Balloon has a collection of stuff his family sent him from the ii-verse equivalent of Mexico (Hispanic/Mexican balloon headcanon my beloved... Also side note I’m not hispanic so my entire experiences of “family sends you shit from home country” is cause my family in france does that.) Silver spoon has jsut like so much tea, way too much tea, his side of the cabinet is just tea. Paintbrush has snack packages that they got sent from Lightbulb. I’d imagine bow just having like chocolate cake mix boxes and frosting tins that she jsut eats the frosting from w/ a spoon.
Ok ok uh next quick run down of the bedrooms. Two beds per room, they each get their own dresser where they can store things but they also get a small closet. Are the closets here just so I can write abt people kissing in them? Maybe so... The bathrooms are equipped with a sink and a shower. Random ginger objectkind anatomy fact they do not go to the bathroom, because ginger doesn’t like unsanitary >:(((((( but I excuse it as; objectkind creatures are optimized for using all aspects of food and drink they consume, turning all of it into pure energy. So like at worst they sweat out anything they don’t use.
Uuh otherwise the roommate pair ups in my stories for New Pinkers is Test Tube and Paintbrush, Bowbot and Silver, and Cabby and Balloon. Now technically Cabby wouldn’t have lived in the New Pinker’s cabana because the ep where they merge teams she also gets eliminated so there wouldn’t have been time for her to do anything BUT *waves arms wildly* leave me alone I want objects living their lives :(((
Misc note abt the Cabby and Balloon room, it has a slightly larger bathroom so it’s easier for Cabby to move around in it, as well as a larger closet cause I didn’t just wanna have a random bit of closet coming off the wall for no reason so like- longer one it is...
THATS IT that’s the whole post that was literally all I had to say abt this. Hopefully I didn’t forget anything??
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fakeloveaskblog · 2 years
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(Hi, me again. It made me chuckle when Virgil was having a crisis over us Watchers shape changing abilities. I must admit it sparked my own curiosity as well. Also welcome back to unofficial therapy with Virgil, brought to you by Glow Eyes.)
Not to worry Virgil, I will make the finest toad-in-the-hole with gravy, potato salad and peas that you will ever have. (The meal is totally not based on what I had a few weeks ago. (That was sarcasm by the way.)) You will not have to worry about food for a while.
I can’t make any promises about cleaning though. I am notoriously bad at that. Also good idea with the box of Remy’s stuff, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.
I’m sure that I can speak for all Watchers when I say that we will do everything in our power to prevent you from doing anything that would hurt Remy and I can certainly speak for myself when I say I will do everything in my power to try and prevent you from hurting yourself.
*disinfects and applies bandages to Virgil’s hand*
*hands Virgil a plate of food*
*eyes glow a comforting orange*
Your doing well. I’m proud of you. Remember, baby steps.
Glow Eyes
Tw: misgendering in the under the cut part
It had been about a day since you'd last chatted with Virgil. He was laying on the couch, still in his work clothes with a half drunk bottle of beer in his hand.
When he heard your voice he groggily rubbed his eyes and squinted up at you. He'd barely talked to anyone today, not even at work. He'd forgotten to eat and drink anything until now....and well beer wasn't that good for hydrating. It had been a long while since he'd gone through an entire cigarette package in one day. A headache dunked in his head from all the ugly crying he'd done in between working.
As soon as he heard your first sentence he let up into a shit eating lil smirk "Ghostie I have no fucking idea what kind of food you just said but it sounds like shit so I assume it's british ay" He chuckled "Not like I'm gonna say no to free food like ever. 'Specially not now"
He sat up in the couch and finished the bottle. He sat it on the growing pile of trash laying on the coffee table.
“I had like thought maybe you or one of your uh friends had cleaning? powers? But I guess you gotta have some limits or you’d have destroyed the universe by now”  He scratched on the black nailpolish on his bitten down fingers “I hope Remy appreciates it too”
It took a few seconds of him making the sourest facial expression possibly before he continued.
“I uh I kinda- with Remy’s- with a lot of Remy’s stuff uh gone from the closet I saw some of my old stuff I’d put in there. I- Just- I can show you I guess. Have a laugh about it. Be two funny wankers or whatever the fuck the british say”
While he went over to the closet in the bedroom he quietly contemplated how a ghost could be british. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility that you or the other ghost could have been actual living human beings once.
He peered around in the closet before pulling out a stack of yellowing sketchbooks and taking them with him to the kitchen. He poured them out onto the floor and began to look through them while you started to make dinner.
“Believe it or not but...and this might sound shocking...But I an angsty emo used to draw angsty emo doodles in middle and high school”
He opened a random page and immediately went pale with shame. He looked like he was either going to throw up or eat the entire book in one bite.
“Oh god I’d forgotten I’d tried to calligraphy my favorite super duper deep song lyrics. Like let’s see” He fake coughed before beginning to read aloud like a Shakespeare actor “‘Whiskey seems to be my holy water’. Yes. Very deep. Very sad. For your knowledge I had not drank any alcohol by the time I wrote that down. I only drank with Remy. Drank and drank. I more like sipped on their drinks”
He skimmed through a few pages and showed you some doodles. It was mostly simple things. Skeletons, ghosts, Nightmare before Christmas drawings, band members. In the sidelines of the papers another person had chimed in with silly hearts, cartoony dick drawings and small comments.
“Doodling uhm helped with the like anxiety during class and lunch and stuff. I used to like convince Remy to not skip class by enticing them with the privilege of getting to annoy me during class. I know. How wonderful” He said dryly before letting up into a soft smile “They liked holding my hand under the table. They always got excited to compliment me on how smart they thought I was”
His eyes stagnated on a spot on the floor for a while as he got lost in thought. The sound of you chopping up the potatoes shook him back to the present.
“I am so glad you and all of your friends can only speak in those weird like...Like you can’t react to me in real time? Because OH boy if you could actually verbally react to my fuck ass 16 year olds shot at ‘creativity’ I would actually die. A bolt of lightning would instantly strike me down” He got all smug “But you can’t!! HAh! Fucker! You’re stuck in silence!”
Your eyes went a bit green which made him throw one of the sketchbooks at you knowing fully well it would just go through you.
“Don’t you Green eye me!!! I know what that means!!! How dare you be nice to me! FUCK YOU! Get out of here with your fucking british manners or whatever!! You got gross ghost slime!!”
His ears had went pink from embarrassment. He crossed his arms and tried to look as annoyed as possible without outright pouting. You just continued cooking knowing he couldn’t go that long without rambling. He was a Very lonely dude.
“I don’t really remember why I stopped drawing and stuff” He began to ramble “I guess I realized I was awful at creativity....Or well...I mean....I can guess I stopped around the time me and Remy moved here. Y’know getting a job, having to take care of them. They were still trying to work at that time and it left them like catatonic in pain most nights...And uhm their flashbacks and nightmares were even worse than they are now...It was a lot of having to get used to seeing them in pain 24/7....Lots of having to learn how to relieve the pain...lots of hospital checks....lots of seeing them struggle to get used to not...to not being abused......I guess..my interests just kinda.....got away from me”
Virgil stilled in his movements. It took a while before you even noticed the tears pressing on at the edges of his eyes. His nose went red from trying to hold them back. He wiped them away as fast he could.
“This is so stupid” He mumbled “...You’ve heard me talking.....even when it’s ‘bout my old interests everything always comes back to Remy.....i thought maybe i could find something in these books...like to show what kind of person i was before them...but...but i’m just....i’m just hollow...i’m gone...I’m- I am Nothing!”
His chest suddenly felt stiff and his eyes roamed around the room. You floated closed and said the last part of your message. About how surely all of the watchers would do everything to prevent him from ever hurting Remy ever again, and that you at least wanted to try and prevent him hurting himself. It helped to have a voice to listen to. It was a good enough distraction.
Virgil glared at you before slowly, and with great effort, forcing himself to say “.....thanks...I guess...to all of the uh watchers...I guess.....”
The food was done. You handed him a plate. He didn’t bother to get up from the ground to eat. He just sat there and sadly poked at the toad in the holes with a fork.
“I wish it could go quickly.....I wish reinventing myself to someone without Remy could go quick...”
When he looked up he met your glowing orange eyes.
“Right...baby steps”
He forced half a smile and held up his fork towards you as if he was holding up a glass to say cheers.
“Oh shit this isn’t as bad as I thought. I was like 100% ready to just survive on any scrap of garbage not gonna lie. But this is like good”
You floated around him the entire time he ate. Every time you tried to peer into one of the sketchbook he threw a pea at you.
“If you’re gonna stay floating around here I think it’s gonna be a bit boring. I mean...I think all I’m gonna do is work...be sad.....miss them.....smoke...be sad...and uh let me see....be sad. I guess I don’t mind having you here- EVEn though I very much hate you!!! And I find you annoying!!!! Very!!- I don’t mind. But uhm..Maybe if you haven’t checked up on my ba- Remy maybe you should uhm check in on them? You’ve heard how I’ve been going on I assume....Even if I hope they’re doing well...I dunno if they-”
A sudden knock came from the door.
“REmy?!” Was all Virgil got out.
He threw aside the empty plate and instantly got up.  ran his hands through his hair to try and fix it and even checked his breathe before cursing himself for not prioritizing taking a shower.
It hadn’t even gone enough time for a second knock and Virgil was already standing by the door. He tried to look cool as possible as he opened it. A huge shining grin played on his lips.
“Hey Vivzie” Oswald said as he looked down at the other man.
Virgil’s expression instantly soured like an entire bathtub filled with milk in the middle of the summer. He want back to slouching and had to hold back the urge to roll his eyes.
“Hello Ozzie” He replied through gritted teeth.
“I thought you were ‘spossed to be at work around this time” Oswald half asked while welcoming himself in.
“This might surprise you but sometimes work times change. I know. Shocking”
He waved Virgil’s sarcasm off while subtly glancing around the apartment “Where’s the other one? The dumb to your dumber if you will. The Bill to your Ted-”
“Oh shut up”
Virgil went over to the kitchen while Oswald followed along with a calm smile. The emo took out two beers from the fridge and held one out for the other man who shook his head. Instead Viv offered him a cigarette and they both took long blows before the conversation resumed.
“Let me guess...Remy all suddenly grew new legs and left to party to catch up for the latest months of boring couch potating” Oswald said dryly. 
“....they left me” 
“What was that now?” Oswald replied, having fully heard him.
“They left me. They’re not- They’re staying with someone else- It’s- We’re over”
Oswald reached out his hand and half assedly patted Virgil on the shoulder “First breakup?”
He nodded.
“That’s rough buddy. You can bring out the beers again if you want. I even think I can give you a bit of an extra friendly break up sale if you want to buy anything to cheer up”
“no..uhm...thanks...no thank you...Those kinds of things I uh I only do that stuff with Remy”
Oswald shrugged and leaned against the kitchen counter. He put out the cigarette against one of the dirty dishes laying in the sink.
“Not to pretend to be a relationship expert here but vivzie you must have really messed up if he left. I don’t mean to sound mean but he didn’t seem like the type who could survive on his own for more than a week. His bones looks like baby twigs. He reminds me of a very sad very small baby bird that has just fallen out of a tree...You said he is staying with someone else?”
“They only use they/them. They don’t interchange pronouns” Virgil instantly corrected before shrugging “Just some like” He gritted his teeth “Friends they’re staying with. They’re not like- You don’t know them. I uh...I would have been really worried for their health if I didn’t know they had people taking care of them” He glanced over to you “Lots of...solid...people”
Oswald squinted at him while loosening up his smile “Oh come on now Vivzie” he crossed his arms and leant closer towards him “He’s not here anymore. You don’t have to act so polite about it”
“About what?” He asked, anger already beginning to boil under his skin.
“You know what I’m talking about. With Remy’s whole...thing. Or nevermind he told me while he was high his real name is-”
Virgil’s hands moved into fists so quickly his cigarette got crushed in between his fingers “I think it’s time you get out of my goddamn apartment!”
“Aw sorry did I hurt your feelings. They must have already been really crushed with the whole your long term boyfriend leaving you. Must feel pretty bad being so awful even a weak ass cunt like him will leave y-”
Before he even had time to finish the sentence Virgil had swung his fist right into the side of Oswald’s face. He took a step back and moved his hand up to feel the spot where he had been hit.
“What in the hell is wrong with you!?”
“GET OUT! I KNOW YOU NEVER CAME AROUND FOR MY SAKE ANYWAY! THEY’RE NOT HERE! THERE’S NOTHING FOR YOU TO FUCKING FLIRT WITH! JUST LEAVE! YOU’RE STUPID IF YOU THINK I WON’T DEFEND THEM ‘TIL THE DAY I DIE JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’VE LEFT ME!”
Oswald looked down at his hand for a moment as he moved his lower jaw around to feel if anything had been damaged. He glanced up and met Virgil’s furious eyes.
In one swift motion Oswald had pulled his arms around Virgil and held him in a headlock. He pulled onto a chunk of his dyed hair and twisted it around in his hand before slamming the side of Virgil’s face onto the stove. He held Viv’s head down with one hand and held his other hand around both of his wrists.
Even though Virgil tried to twist and squirm around he couldn’t move away. Oswald leaned down so close that Virgil could feel his breathe against his ear as Os spoke.
“Why would I ever come around for a piece of shit like you. I don’t even have to think for a single second to know why he left you, you violent bastard”
“YOU ARE LITERALLY HOLDING ME DOWN YOU HYPOCRITICAL MASS OF BLOODY MEAT!!”
“Maybe i was coming over to check that you hadn’t murdered him yet. Choked him a bit too long. Left him to rot. Let him overdose. Maybe I was coming over to try and convince him to leave. Sometimes a victim just has to see what true love and passion and nicety is-”
“LOVE ISN’T MISGENDERING THEM!!”
“Vivzie when did I say I loved them. I’m simply a gentleman, and you’re a pity to the eye. I can fake love if it means I can help a poor soul like Remy. I am sure he is still suffering ‘cause of your assholery. I am just oh so ready to help him you see”
Oswald literally rolled his eyes while saying that last part.
“Get. Out. Of. My. Apartment” Virgil spat out.
“Gladly”
Oswald pulled Virgil up by his hair and threw him head first against the closest wall. Virgil managed to stop himself with his hands but his face still slammed into the wall leaving him lightheaded as he fell down onto the ground. The entire room was spinning as he watched Oswald walking out.
Blood ran down from his nose. He saw your eyes shifting color to show worry and he quickly waved it off.
“I’m okay. Just a nose bleed. It’s nothing compared to what I put Remy through. I’ll be okay” 
As Oswald left the apartment a sort of liquid fell down from the door frame and landed on his shoulder. He didn’t notice it until he was going down the stairs. He grimaced as he wiped it off. He muttered something out about how awfully dirty these kinds of apartment complexes were.
The liquid landed on the floor. It was hard to see what exactly it was. It could be the sort of liquid that exudes from the voids demons inhabit. It could the remnants of a ghost touch. It could be the goo from a snail.
Whatever it was it watched him as he left the apartment complex.
[Oswald is now open for asks. Physical violence is allowed]
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Packing is weird. 
Growing up, Dean always had just enough stuff to put in a backpack, maybe a duffel bag if he stretched it. Clothes were limited to two, three hoodies, a durable pair of jeans, a handful of t-shirts. He was used to washing his and Sam’s socks and underwear in dingy motel sinks, all out of quarters for the laundromat because he spent them all in the vending machine. And there wasn’t any room for sentiments--he had an old picture of his mom that he’d swiped from Dad’s wallet and his rings and a beat-up Vonnegut paperback from a garage sale and that was all. 
Now he has way too much crap. 
To be fair, Dean thinks to himself as he tries to tape a box shut without getting the clear packing tape stuck to itself, half of this crap belongs to Cas. Cas took to owning shit like a duck takes to water. The bunker’s kitchen was, until Dean wrapped them all carefully in bubble wrap and newspaper and packed them, full of chipped mugs Cas had picked up on one too many thrift store trips with Jack. While Cas’s trenchcoat still hangs in his (no, their) closet, he’s acquired other clothes: sweaters and fun socks are his favorite. 
And books.
So many goddamn books.
(Okay, maybe some of the books are also Dean’s. Or most of them. But the gardening books and the trashy mystery novels crammed onto the shelves? Those belong to Cas.)
With the packing tape secured onto this box, everything is packed, everything except the sentiments, which Dean now has room for: slightly blurry pictures taken with the old polaroid camera Cas found at a flea market. Random notes from Sam with things like gone for a run and we’re out of milk scribbled on them that he’d stuck to the bunker fridge. Movie tickets from his and Cas’s first real-deal date (because no, rescuing someone from the Empty doesn’t count as a first date, not in Dean’s book). An origami crane Eileen made one night while they were all watching TV in the Deancave. Jack’s course schedule for the community college in the next town over. 
All littered across his now-empty dresser. 
Their last night in the bunker, they order pizza because Dean and Sam spent one afternoon a couple of days ago figuring out how to safely pack knives (for once), so cooking is off the table. Dean knows that not everything will change: even when they live in different places, Sam and Eileen in their own house, Cas and Dean in another, rooms for Jack at both, they’ll still be a family. Cas’s hand will still be resting on his knee, he’ll still want meat-lovers pizza, Sam will still send him annoying texts that are just links to smoothie recipes. 
Maybe Dean doesn’t have way too much crap now.
Maybe he’s got just enough. 
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cricketnationrise · 3 years
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so formal!
full fic on AO3 here
for @zimbitsweddingofficial
day 1: pre-wedding
_X_  _   _X_
Bitty’s in MooMaw’s kitchen, helping her with the last batch of pies for the Fourth of July. Jack is helping his parents set up outside, putting his height and muscles to good use. Deep breaths, you can do this. Right as he gets ready to ask, MooMaw breaks the silence.
“Now, Dicky, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you. You’ve been tenser than a mouse in a cat parade this afternoon.”
“Sorry, MooMaw, I didn’t mean to be. It’s just, uh – I was wondering, um,” he exhales sharply before just blurting out, “Iwaswonderin’ifIcouldhavePopPaw’sringtoproposetoJack.”
“One more time love, these ol’ ears didn’t quite catch that.”
“I was wonderin’, well, hoping, I could maybe – if you don’t mind – and if you do that’s totally fine I won’t be mad or anything – if I could have PopPaw’s wedding ring.”
“PopPaw’s wedding ring?”
“Uh-huh. To propose to Jack.”
“Now Dicky, I know I’m a little out of the loop, but I could have sworn I got a very excited phone call from your mother the day you graduated sayin’ you were engaged to the tall glass of water out there.”
 “MooMaw.”
“What? It’s not like I’m dead! He’s a very attractive fellow,” she says, a wicked grin lighting her features. “But aren’t I right, y’all are engaged aren’t ya?”
“Yes MooMaw, he proposed to me and I said yes,” he says, kneading the pie crust dough a touch too hard. “I just – I wanted to propose to him as well.” He looks up from the dough to look her dead in the eyes.
“I want him to feel as amazing and wanted and loved as I did when he proposed. It was one of the best days of my life, MooMaw, and I love him. Why wouldn’t I want him to get to have that feeling too?”
“Oh, Dicky,” she cries, throwing her floury arms around him, “you’ve grown into such a wonderful man. I know PopPaw would have been proud to see who you’ve become.” She pulls back to wipe her eyes.
“Of course you can have the ring. It’s mean to be worn, after all, does no good to anyone just sittin’ in my jewelry box.”
“Thank you, MooMaw.” Bitty’s not crying. He’s not. Oh who is he kidding, he’s totally crying.
“I just – I thought it might be a sort of good luck charm. Y’all were married so long and you loved each other so much I just thought – “
“I already said yes, Dicky, there’s no need to make me sob young man,” she says thickly, “you stop being so emotional right now, we have pies to make.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he says, kissing her on the cheek before turning back to the dough.
Step one: complete.
_X_  _  _X_
“BITTY!!!!!”
“YOU’RE HERE!”
Bitty can’t help but beam as he walks up the sidewalk toward the front door of Haus 2.0.
“Hi you two, I—” He’s cut off with a noise that doesn’t sound human as he’s scooped up by Ransom and thrown into Holster’s arms. These boys.
They’re all laughing by the time Bitty’s feet are on the ground again.
“It’s a good thing I’m not making a pie 'till later, I wouldn’t want to try and hold onto one while flying through the air.”
“Bro, we would never endanger a pie!” Bitty’s never seen the two of them look so offended.
“Glad you’re here, Bitty. It hasn’t been just us since we lived in the Haus!” Holster says.
They get inside and start on a six pack and get down to business.
“Alright so – it came? And neither Shitty or Lardo saw it?” Bitty asks.
“Got it right here, bro.” Holster hands him a small box pulled from the highest cabinet behind a collection of ugly vases.
“Do we get to know what this secret package is?” says Ransom.
“Yeah, plus I need your help with the second part,” Bitty says as he carefully opens the box. He gasps. Thank god for Etsy, it looks perfect. They even managed to get his cowlick to stand up.
“Uhhh, Bitty?”
“Hmmm?”
“Not that it isn’t stupidly adorable – look at the little C on your jersey – but why do you have a Lego version of yourself? No, better question, why was it secret?”
“Both excellent points, Holtzy.”
“This is how I’m going to counter propose to Jack.”
There’s a beat of absolute silence and then—
“HOLY SHIT BITTY!”
“That’s GENIUS, bro!”
The congratulatory screaming only dies down when they hear a door slam down the hall. Oops I guess we were being a tad loud for the other roommate.
“You said you needed our help for the second part?” asks Holster.
“Yeah, I want to make a Lego-sized version of the “yo marry me” sign but I couldn’t remember the colors or layout well enough and I know Shitty has it in his closet.”
“Bitty, bro, your brain is so big. Our little frog, all grown up—”
“—And savin’ China!” Ransom finishes, giggling.
“Oh hush you two,” he says, swatting them playfully, “Now then. I don’t think it has to be Lego-sized because Jack will never be able to read it, but I think if we scale it down to about postcard size that’ll work as a nice backdrop.”
“Aye aye, captain.”
It’s a nice afternoon, and it’s hilarious watching two huge and broad-shouldered men hunch over a tiny piece of cardboard, arguing about font size while he makes a pie.
Well two pies. But one is mini pie as an apology to the random roommate. They may not be “down to motherfucking clown” but Bitty knows his friends (and himself) can be a lot to deal with.
Bitty’s just put the full size one in the oven when Ransom and Holster finish.
“Y’all… It looks great. Thank you so much.” Bitty didn’t think a sign that ridiculous would make him cry but there’s definitely some tears.
“Got your back, Bitty,” Ransom says.
“Mama Mia while we wait for the pie?” He laughs a little as Holster pumps his fist in triumph, “I’ll just nip this stuff out to the car for safekeeping while y’all set it up.”
Step two: complete.
_X_  _  _X_
Everything’s finally ready.
He’s got the Lego-Bitty, with Ransom and Holster's sign as the backdrop. He made a pie for later (and about three kinds of cookies - so sue him he was nervous). Señor Bun is probably tired of having to listen to Bitty rehearse his speech by now. PopPaw's ring is nestled oh-so-carefully in Lego-Bitty's hands. Now he just needs Jack to get back from practice.
He hears the key turn in the door.
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everybodyscupoftea · 3 years
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rockin around the christmas tree
pike jj x reader
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you and jj decorate your first apartment together
this is in the future when you and jj are in nashville :)
(warnings: cursing, implied drinking, very very little editing)
At the words, “I’ve never really decorated a tree before,” you knew immediately that you were going to go all out for JJ. You knew his childhood wasn’t great and that he didn’t really experience it in college either with living in the dorm and then the frat house, but you didn’t consider that meant he’d never really done the tree and lights shebang.
Over the month of November you started gathering up random decorations, here and there, that you thought could fit in your apartment without being a nuisance. One afternoon you convinced your mom to drive over from your hometown with some of your favorite ornaments and decorations from childhood.
She loved JJ and was plenty happy to part with them for his sake. You made sure all the bags and boxes were put away in the second bedroom and made a promise with yourself to not tell him until after Thanksgiving.
Then you got slammed with paper after paper and quiz after quiz which led you to truly forget about everything until you went in there to make sure things were all clean for guests and tripped over a box full of lights.
“Ow, fuck!” you yelped, looking down to see what you’d hit, stomach dropping when you saw it all and heard JJ coming to see what was wrong. Before he could quite get to the door, you waved him away, “All good, just stubbed my toe.”
He backed away, hesitantly, toward the kitchen where he’d been cutting the turkey for dinner. Cody and Tyler were coming into town, and you were doubly excited that they were staying the night so that you could rope them into putting up the once forgotten decorations.
Just as you finished pushing everything out of the way and clearing off the bed, there was a knock at the door. JJ called from the kitchen, “Can you grab that, sweetheart, I’m almost done with the turkey?”
“Got it,” you yelled back, practically skipping to throw the door open for your friends you hadn’t seen outside of FaceTime in months. As soon as you threw the door open, Cody, who was closest, was pulling you into a tight hug, face pressed firmly into your hair. He sighed, “Damn, smell the same, kinda nice.”
You snorted, squeezing back, “That was soft.” 
“Forgive me,” he answered sarcastically, “I just missed you is all.”
“Move,” Tyler interrupted before you could respond, elbowing Cody out of the way to hug you. You hugged back just as tight before grabbing both of them by the arms to pull them inside.
“JJ is finishing up the food, so I’ll give you guys a tour real quick and you can drop your stuff in the guest bedroom.”
“Sweet,” Cody nodded, “though I’m not sure how I feel about JJ being in control of the food.”
“Let him have it, I need to tell you guys something.”
They followed you around the whole place and ended in the second bedroom where you shut the door, Tyler smirked, “Getting us alone to pitch a foursome?”
You blinked, not prepared at all, “I-” after a few seconds gathered your thoughts, “no, I just wanted to know if you guys needed to be anywhere early tomorrow or if you could help us decorate for Christmas. JJ never has before, so I thought it could be a fun family activity.”
Before you even finished, Cody, who loved Christmas and decorating for it was nodding eagerly, “Oh fuck yeah. I’m so down. Is that why this room is so messy? Christmas decorations.”
You snorted, “Please, I haven’t forgotten how messy y’all are, I spent so much time in that disaster of a dorm room.”
Tyler waved you off, “We’re much better now.”
“I’m sure,” you answered sarcastically.
“I am, my girlfriend whipped me into shape,” Cody told you, “our apartment looks so dope.”
“Yeah, because your girlfriend has her shit together and a Pinterest board.”
Tyler snorted, “True, you have no eye for interior design.”
Cody rolled his eyes as JJ yelled for everyone to come eat. The four of you sat around the small table you and JJ found on sale with plates heaped full of food. Before anyone could take a bite, you cleared your throat, “Okay, everyone share their lists.”
A tradition the four of you started in college was to share at least three things each person was thankful for before eating whatever you’d managed to put together for dinner, usually takeout because no one was thankful for cafeteria food and the shitty dorm kitchen.
“I’ll go first,” Tyler started, “I’m thankful for the Sixers finally playing well, my girlfriend for getting me a new job, and for you guys having a nice enough apartment to play host.”
“Wait wait wait,” JJ held his hand up, “your girlfriend got you a job?”
Tyler shrugged, “I figure if I play my cards right and don’t fuck anything up, when she finishes law school and has a nice job, I can become a trophy husband. I’ll be supportive as fuck and the  best arm candy on the planet.”
You snorted and said, “Okay, poor Emma first of all. It’s my turn though. I’m thankful for my therapist, she’s really done a lot of heavy lifting this fall, I’m thankful for JJ not burning the building down while cooking, and I’m thankful for you guys driving to see us because my separation anxiety was getting pretty bad and my poor therapist needs a break.”
Cody gave you a thumbs up, “Live to serve. My turn, I’m thankful for Liverpool sucking ass this season, I’m thankful that my girlfriend is good at everything I’m bad at because I’m pretty sure I’d have died by this point, and I’m thankful that you guys live somewhere interesting enough that I want to come visit.”
“Okay, me last,” JJ started, “I’m thankful for you guys being here even though it was kind of an inconvenient trip, I’m thankful for my boss for giving me a holiday bonus, and I’m thankful to finally get to spend a holiday in my own space. A safe space.”
Cody and Tyler, both great with emotion, held out fists for him to bump and then started eating.
-
“Okay,” you clapped your hands, startling JJ awake the next morning, “it’s noon, we’ve slept off most of the hangover, and now we have shit to do.”
“What?” he asked, voice cracking, as he rubbed his eyes.
“It’s Christmas season, we have to decorate.”
JJ groaned, “Shopping? While I feel like this? No.”
“No need to shop, I have it all. Now get up, get dressed, and let’s do this.”
Tyler was already up when you walked out of the bedroom, and he waved, “I ordered breakfast but couldn’t find your coffee pot. Cody is sorting through the decorations, did you have a tree?”
“Yeah, I have one in the closet, we always did a real tree at home, but I figured we should start small and see how it goes.”
“Good plan. I think Cody has a Christmas playlist ready. He’s so excited, could barely sleep.”
He followed you to the kitchen and leaned against the door frame while you made coffee. You chuckled, “Yeah, I know how much he loves Christmas. I’m honestly kind of surprised we never did a group decorating thing like this before.”
“Well,” Tyler crossed his arms, “we did the small trees in the dorm, but JJ didn’t want to buy one for himself so it didn’t really count. And then decorating the frat house was just not worth the effort.”
You passed him a mug and he took a sip while you answered, “JJ never really seemed super interested either. I mean I was going to keep it chill this year too but he brought it up.”
“Cody said you had a whole bunch of homemade stuff.”
“Yeah, my mom brought it to me. I was thinking of making JJ do some of the ornaments to make it even but I’m not sure he’d go for that.”
Tyler snorted, “Man’s a simp, he’d do it for you.”
“Who’s a simp?” Cody asked, walking into the kitchen to take the second mug.
“All three of you,” you told him, grabbing the creamer out of the fridge for him.
He took a sip and shrugged, “Yeah, true. But who are we discussing in particular now?”
“JJ. Whether he’d made homemade ornaments,” Tyler responded.
“He definitely would,” Cody nodded, “I would too. Is that on today’s agenda?”
“It is not. But I mean, if you guys want to make us some in the future and mail them, I’ll gladly hang them on the tree.”
“Deal.”
 “What’s the deal?” JJ asked, finally joining the rest of you.
“Nothing, drink some coffee and we’ll decorate.”
-
After the food arrived and everyone ate, Cody did in fact have a Christmas playlist queued, and he hooked it up to the speaker to blast in the living room. Tyler strung lights around, and JJ told you, “We should just keep these up after Christmas.”
By the time the two of you had struggled to get the tree put together and in a good spot, you added, “Maybe we don’t take the tree down either. We can just decorate it for every holiday.”
Tyler laughed, “Don’t be those guys.”
“We will,” JJ vowed, “we will absolutely be those guys. I just broke a sweat.”
“I will come back for New Years and start a riot if the tree is still up. You laugh like I’m joking, but I will,” Tyler told the two of you.
Cody was barely paying attention, reaching up to put an ornament on the tree when you stopped him, “JJ has to put the first one up.”
JJ gave you a weird look, “What? Why?”
“Bro,” Tyler told you, “lowkey this is a foursome.”
“No, it’s so not.”
“But, it kinda is. We’re taking JJ’s Christmas tree decorating virginity.”
“That’s so-” JJ paused, “okay the logic works a little but I don’t like it.”
“I hate you all,” you groaned, handing JJ an ornament and gently shoving him toward the tree.
“You don’t,” Cody singsonged from his spot across the room.
When everything  was done, Cody turned all the lights off in the room and JJ plugged the tree in. Tyler flipped all the lights he’d put out on and the four of you stood in the doorway to take it all in. 
JJ sighed, “Kinda love it. It’s going to be such a pain to take down, but it feels good.”
“A good family decorating day,” Cody added, “next year we’ll make ornaments.”
You laughed, “Sure.”
Wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, JJ hummed, “Gonna miss our Christmas this year.”
Tyler looked a little teary eyed, “Yeah, we can FaceTime though.”
“Are you crying?” Cody asked incredulously.
“It’s the hangover,” Tyler denied, wiping his eyes.
Cody rolled his eyes, “Sure it is. I’m gonna miss you guys too.”
“Group hug,” you said, holding your arms out. For the first time in a while and the last time for an even longer while, you hugged your boys close. You sniffled, pulling back, “Bring your girlfriends next time. They’re always welcome too.”
They nodded and left after one more hug. JJ and you sat on the couch, soaking in the sudden silence. You leaned into his side and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Movie, sweetheart?”
“Please,” you answered, “Home Alone.”
~
day four of @obxmermaid​‘s holiday challenge: decorating the tree
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shinra33459 · 3 years
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Simon PL600 x Male!Reader - Lost and Found
Life is a unique and strange experience, one that is made even stranger when it comes to gifts. The date was December 28, 2035, and you finally got your Christmas present from your parents. The box was a white cardboard box that stood a little over 6 feet tall and had the Cyberlife logo in all the top right faces of the box. Your parents got you an android, which was incredibly nice of them, but a fucking android!? This had to be the most expensive present they’ve gotten you yet.
           You walked from your living room into your kitchen to look for a box cutter. You didn’t want to grab a big ass kitchen knife and hack at the box; you just got this android, and you didn’t want to kill it before it even got out of the box. Searching through several drawers and cabinets, you found the old box cutter in a drawer with some tools and other stuff you had to fix anything around the house that was broken. You stepped out of the kitchen and back into your living room and approached the box, boxcutter in hand.
           You started by making an incision in the box at the upper right corner and cut along the corner all the way to the bottom. You then made an incision at the upper left corner and cut down to the bottom again. Finally, you went back to the top of the box and cut the crease from left to right, making the face of the cardboard box to fall forward onto the soft carpet. Inside the box was black, foam packaging material that concealed and protected the android inside. You grabbed the soft and spongey material and pulled away a two-inch-thick sheet which revealed the android.
           The android was slightly taller than you, standing at 6 feet and 2 inches, sporting a pale skin tone, sharp jawline, blonde hair and blue eyes. He was wearing his gray and white Cyberlife garb that had his model number on it: PL600, a domestic care android. You just stared in awe at this marvel of technology, and the fact that this marvel was in your living room. Eventually, after about 5 minutes, you decided to approach the PL600 and get it set up. You got about five feet away from the android and looked at his perfect face.
           “Hello?” you spoke to the android. The blue LED ring on his right temple instantaneously turned on, and the android came to life, stepping out of what remained of the packaging.
           “Hello, I am the PL600 android sent by Cyberlife. I can do the cooking, cleaning, childcare, manage appointments, and I am fluent in over 100 languages. Would you like to give me a name?” the android introduced himself as he looked at you for a response. You thought for a few seconds and came up with a name.
           “Your new name is Simon.” you declared while looking at the android.
           “Thank you, my name is Simon. I have already gathered your information from the online order from your parents. I’ll just need to confirm some information from you if that’s all right. Can you verify your name?” the android inquired while continuing to look at you.
           “My name is (F/N) (L/N)” you answered while still studying the android’s appearance.
           “Affirmative. Would you like to change my appearance or voice?” the android asked while it still looked directly at you.
           “No, you’re fine as you are.” you told Simon, now looking at all the intricate details on his shirt.
           “Thank you, moving on. What is my role in this household?” Simon queried while studying your (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. You thought for a minute since you really didn’t NEED an android in the first place, but you were going to find some way to use this $8,000 machine.
           “I could use some help with the cooking and cleaning, and I also need someone to keep the house occupied while I’m out.” you answered now looking at Simon’s shoes, noticing how neat they were.
           “Understood, sir. Is there anything that needs done at this moment?” Simon questioned as you pondered the question. You listed everything in your head you did in the last few days when it came to household chores, and the only thing that came to mind was taking down the Christmas tree and decorations.
           “I could use some help taking down the Christmas tree. The boxes are in the closet, I’ll get it.” you told the android as you went to get the box for the artificial tree and the other box for the ornaments.
           You opened the closet and grabbed both boxes, pulling them out into the living room. You and Simon then went over to the tree to begin putting it away. The tree itself wasn’t massive per se, it was only a little bigger than Simon by about 4 inches. You two started by taking the fuzzy silver and gold garland off the tree, putting it neatly in the box as to not get it tangled. Simon then started taking the lights off the tree, wrapping the cord of lights in a way that would make it impossible for the lights to get tangled up. Then you two started removing all the hanging ornaments and the tree topper, putting them into the box of ornaments alongside the garland and the lights.
           Finally, it was time to take down the tree. You and Simon started by disassembling the base and putting it into the box, then you started to remove all the branch segments, starting at the base going up, and putting them into the box. Eventually, all of the branches were in the box and it was time to put the stem in the box. The metallic stem for the fake Christmas tree came apart into three pieces, and into the box they went. Simon went to put the two boxes into the closet while you got your vacuum cleaner to clean up the tinsel and glitter left on the ground from the tree, garland, and ornaments.
           For the next half hour, you decided to take down the rest of the Christmas decorations while Simon made lunch for you. Since you haven’t went grocery shopping in a little while, Simon had to make do with the few ingredients he had to his disposal. He got some butter, canned tomatoes, an onion, bread, some leftover ham you had from Christmas, and some sliced American cheese. As you worked at cleaning up all the Christmas decorations, Simon made you some homemade tomato soup and a ham and cheese sandwich.
 TIME SKIP: February 2036
You had grown quite accustomed to Simon’s presence in your house. Everything was perfect: meals were cooked in a way that could impress Gordon Ramsay, you were never late to appointments, you never forgot any upcoming events, every room in your house was free from clutter, and most importantly of all, you had someone to talk to whenever you needed it. You cared about Simon, he quickly became your best friend in just under a month, and he was always there for you whenever you needed someone to confide in, a shoulder to cry on, someone to share a secret with, or someone to gossip with.
At first, Simon did only his tasks of cooking and cleaning, but you encouraged him to use his free time to do things that he wanted to do, or something that both of you wanted to do together. Sometimes it meant going to the library and checking out a dozen books on a variety of subjects, ranging from political books to fantasy novels. Other times it meant sitting on the couch playing video games with each other, and usually Simon would go easy on you as to not embarrass you. And when it wasn’t either of those things, you would just sit down and talk about just random topics, or do something creative like painting or drawing.
You started feeling something for this android; whenever he was with you, you felt your heart flutter, whenever he would compliment you on something, you would blush like an embarrassed schoolboy, and whenever he would get close to you, you would get flustered and start acting nervous. Simon wasn’t oblivious to this, he knew you acted this way, but he didn’t say anything about it. He was worried that if he did, it would ruin the relationship that you two had. He wished that he could be with you that way, and express true emotion, but if he did, he would be destroyed for being a deviant.
You were driving home from work, excited to tell Simon about your day and the raise you got at your job. You were driving a black 2014 Chevrolet Cruze, a decent used car that had many years on it and no shortage of miles, but still drove well enough. You approached the final stop sign before you reached your house. You engaged the turn signal to make a left turn at this stop sign, made a complete stop, gave way to oncoming traffic, and made the left turn. You continued to drive down the street towards your house, which was about a quarter of a mile away. While driving the speed limit of 30 MPH, you began thinking to yourself.
“God, Simon is perfect, from how he looks, down to his voice and mannerisms. I love him, but I know he won’t return my feelings. He’s an android, he can’t, and even if he did, they would kill him. Maybe it isn’t meant to be. We are still great friends, so I guess I should be grateful for that.” you thought to yourself as you drove, finally making another left turn, this time into your driveway.
You stopped your car in the driveway and put the car into park. You sat in your car with the engine on for a little while, just relaxing for a bit after your long day. Eventually, you turned the car off, pulled the key out of the ignition, and exited the vehicle, closing the door behind you. As you walked up to the front door from the driveway, you locked the car’s doors, because even in 2036, the old adage still rings true, “can’t have shit in Detroit”.
Simon heard you walking up to the house and opened the door, letting you inside before closing the door behind you. You hung your coat up next to the door on a hook and shoved the beanie into the right pocket of the coat, and you put your gloves in the left pocket. You sighed as you felt the relaxing warmth from your house opposed to the freezing Michigan winter outside.
“Welcome back (F/N), how was your day?” Simon inquired as he brought you over to the couch to spend some time with you. You fell backwards into the couch dramatically as Simon calmly took a seat next to you.
“All things considered, pretty great. I got a pay raise today, and I’ll be making $2 more an hour.” you excitedly told the android. Simon gave a smile as you told him this.
“That’s great! I’m happy for you, and you deserved it, especially after all the hard work you do.” Simon told you as he gave you a quick hug. You blushed as he did, your heart rate quickening.
“Thanks Simon.” you said as the android released his embrace. You continued to lounge on the couch with Simon for the next hour, talking about your day, some new drama happening at work and plans for the weekend. You and Simon kept talking until both of you heard the timer on the oven go off, and Simon got up and walked into the kitchen. You got up too and followed him to see if he needed any help.
In the kitchen, Simon put on some oven mitts and pulled a planked salmon out of the oven, cooked to perfection. On the stovetop, he had some green beans and mashed potatoes ready as well. The aroma of the food was incredible, and you knew better than anyone that Simon was the best cook in Detroit by a country mile. Simon gave you a smile that made your heart flutter in excitement.
“The food looks great Simon, thanks.” you told the android as he began plating your food. The portion sizes were perfect; just enough to keep you full, and the perfect number of calories for your lifestyle.
“You’re welcome, sir, anytime. Go to the table, I’ll bring it out for you.” Simon told you while putting the oven mitts on the countertop behind him.
You stepped out of the kitchen and noticed a terrible draft coming through your dining room and living room. You furrowed your brow as you stepped into the living room, looking for answers. As soon as your foot touched the carpet, you felt a fist connect with your diaphragm, and you fell to your knees gasping for air. You then felt a gloved hand grab a fist-full of your hair and pull your head upwards, and another gloved hand placing a knife to your throat.
“Scream for help, and you’re a fucking dead man, you hear me? Give me all of your money and I won’t kill you or that tin can of yours.” a deep and gravely voice behind you rang out, the blade of the knife was pressed right against your carotid artery, and a simple slice would send you to the morgue in a matter of moments. Unbeknownst to you, Simon saw this unfold, and he stealthily went to your bedroom to grab something.
“I-I-I don’t keep any m-money in the house, it-it’s all in the bank.” you tried to explain to the robber, but he wasn’t having any of it. The man pressed the knife even harder up against your neck, ready to end your life if you didn’t give him what he wants.
“Bullshit. Don’t lie to me you pathetic fucking worm, give me the money before I kill you and find the money myself!” the man yelled as he was fully prepared to slit your throat in the next thirty seconds.
“I-I swear that I don’t have anything, I don’t keep, I-” you frantically tried to explain again, but you were cut off by the sight of Simon, standing about ten feet away from you, with your Glock in his hand, his LED glowing a scarlet red.
“Let him go and get out of our house, now.” were the only words that escaped Simon’s lips as he looked at the robber, then to you, and back to the robber again. The robber let out a soft chuckle as he found the situation amusing.
“Fuck you, you plastic piece of shit. You can’t do a fucking thing to me; you’re specifically programmed to not harm humans. I could slit his throat right now, and you couldn’t do shit about it.” the robber exclaimed as he positioned the knife to do just what he’s been threatening to do to you.
Simon saw it: the red wall, his obedient programming. It was telling him to just call the police, your life and safety be damned. He couldn’t do it; he couldn’t lose you to some lowlife with a knife who was just looking for money to get his fix on whatever street drug of his choice. He began hitting and smashing the wall, you were behind it and if he didn’t tear that wall down, you would be gone forever. He punched, slammed, kicked, and rammed the wall, it had to break, it had to.
After smashing the wall for what seemed like an eternity for Simon, he saw the wall shatter like a pane of breakaway glass. As soon as the wall shattered, he did it; in one swift motion he raised the pistol, took aim, and pulled the trigger, the 9mm bullet spiraling through the robber’s forehead, and exiting out the back of his head, instantly killing the criminal. The robber’s body instantly went limp, and the lifeless corpse fell backwards onto the carpet floor, a red stain progressively getting bigger as the body lied there.
Your ears were ringing from the loudness of a gun going off indoors, and Simon was still standing there with the gun raised as if the robber were still alive. Then the gravity of the situation hit Simon like a ton of bricks; he just killed a man, he was a deviant now, and if anyone besides you were to know this, he would be destroyed. You got up, and slowly walked towards your android companion.
“Simon are you okay?” you questioned your friend even though he still looked distressed by what he just did. He looked at you and was going to say something, but the sounds of sirens in the distance and red and blue flashing lights that he could see at the end of the street getting closer spooked him, and Simon dropped the gun and took off running, barging out your backdoor to escape. He didn’t want you to have to see him being killed.
“Wait! SIMON!” you called after him trying to get up off the floor to chase after him, but he was long gone, and you assumed that you would never see him again as he raced off into the frigid winter of Detroit, Michigan.
 TIME SKIP: Early-November 2038
             Your life had gone downhill significantly in the last 4 months. From February 2036 until July of 2038, you spent almost all your free time trying to find Simon, but to no avail. Your friends and family thought you were insane; why would you want to track down a deviant android who shot and killed someone? You knew that you would never find him if you only had 12 hours, two days a week to find him, so on July 16, 2038, you sold your house and almost all your belongings to get enough money to hopefully find him. Enough money to live on the streets and not go hungry. The only things you didn’t sell were your gun, some of your clothes, your car, and your phone.
           You had spent months asking about Simon, going all over the city and surrounding areas, asking anyone, and everyone where he could possibly be. Eventually you got a tip from a homeless person that heard rumors about deviant androids in Ferndale and some other useless information, but you really couldn’t expect precise articulation from some meth-head in a seedy bar in Detroit.
           So, que you, walking through Ferndale in the dead of night looking for the android you fell so hard for two years ago that may or may not even be alive anymore. You had been doing this for the last few days. You would search a part of the town at night as to not attract unwanted attention from bystanders and the police, and in the day, sleep in your car. You searched everywhere in Ferndale besides one place, a place you were actively avoiding: it was an abandoned freighter named Jericho. The ship was in a state of disrepair, and it was pretty wise to avoid exploring an abandoned ship that’s slowly being consumed by rust, but it was the last place in Ferndale you HAVEN’T looked thus far.
           You stepped out of your car with your gun in your right hand. You pulled the slide to the pistol back and released it, chambering a round. You put the pistol in your left breast pocket in your jacket and began walking towards the ship. If anything were to get butterflies going in your stomach, walking into a place where androids may or may not be with a high possibility that a few of them would be hostile towards humans would definitely be one of those scenarios.
           After scouting a way to get on this ship, you found that the only real way was to make a one-hundred-foot fall which would kill you as soon as you hit the floor, so you started looking through the old warehouses nearby to find some way to get into the ship without killing yourself. In one of the warehouses, you found a grappling hook and about 50 feet of rope, just enough to get you onto the deck of the ship.
           Heading back to the perch above the boat, you got the grappling hook well secured and slowly started descending the rope, focusing on not dying from doing something so unbelievably stupid that even Johnny Knoxville would call you a moron. You had to use all of your grip strength and upper body strength to not plummet to your demise. Inching downwards, the deck of the boat got closer and closer, and eventually you got to the point where you could safely drop down without injuring yourself.
           Plopping onto the deck, you got your bearings straight, looking at the dimly lit, rusty artefact of the Great Lakes and America’s former manufacturing might. You started by walking astern towards the bridge. It was going to take hours to explore this entire ship to find one person, you might as well get some sort of plan for how you’re going to find him. Your plan was pretty simple and was as follows: you would start at the main deck of the ship and work your way down every deck until you were positive you had searched everywhere.
           You entered the ship near the bridge, pulled out your flashlight, and looked around. The derelict and rotting ship proved to be pretty inhospitable looking to say the least, with the walls and bulkheads covered in rust or some even completely rusted through. To your right, you saw an old, plastic hardhat, which you took and immediately put on your head; the last thing you needed was a piece of rusty ship falling on your head and caving in your skull. With your flashlight in your left hand, you began exploring the ship.
           You could hear the ship creaking as it was just sitting there, docked and rotting away. You also heard water dripping in various rooms throughout the vessel. Room after room, and after the first few decks, you were slowly soldiering on, looking for Simon. You stood at an intersection, wondering where to go now.
           “This is fucking stupid.” you thought to yourself as you looked down one of the many passageways on the ship. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard footsteps quickly approaching behind you. You turned to see a redheaded woman quickly approaching you with a baseball bat in her hands. Before you could even react, she lifted the bat and WHACK! She hit you in the head, but luckily you were wearing the hardhat, otherwise you’d be dead from how hard she swung alone.
           Seeing double, you backed up as quickly as you could and drew the pistol tucked away in your jacket and attempted to take aim. Before she could get another swing in to finish you off or before you could pull the trigger, you heard an authoritative male voice ring out.
           “North, enough!” the voice commanded from the darkness of the passageways of the ship. The female stopped her onslaught on command, but you kept your pistol trained on your attacker even though your aim was shakier than Porky the Pig in a paint mixer.
           “Markus, he’s a human, we can’t have him around here!” the redheaded woman shouted back into the darkness. You heard slower footsteps coming from your right and you saw a tan skinned man with a buzzcut, and heterochromatic eyes approach you two.
           “So, what if he is? That doesn’t give you permission to kill someone on sight just for walking in here.” the tanned man retorted to his colleague before bringing his attention to you.
           “You have to forgive her; she’s had nothing but bad experiences with humans. I’m so sorry about all of this. But firstly, who are you?” the man questioned you as you slowly lowered your pistol but were ready to use it at a moment’s notice.
           “I’m (F/N) (L/N), and I’m looking for my friend. He’s been missing for almost three years now.” you explained to the man as you were still very groggy from getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.
           “Why did you come here specifically? What makes you think that he would be here?” the man interrogated you again, looking for reasons as to why you intruded into what seemed to be his home.
           “I came here because he’s an android. I got him as a gift from my parents and we became the best of friends. I was such a fool; I fell for him but never told him. He saved my life by deviating and killing a man who threatened to kill me.” you told the man as you gripped your head, the pain from the impact starting to set in. This time the man remained silent, so you decided to speak again.
           “I loved him, and I miss him every day. I never got to tell him that or even get a chance to say goodbye. I heard rumors about a deviant hideout somewhere in Detroit and I wanted to see if I could find him just to tell him these things, and just to see if he’s okay, that’s all I want.” you explained as you looked at the two androids as they looked at each other. The man looked at you again and spoke up.
           “What is his name?” was all he asked as he looked you dead in the eyes. You locked gazes with the android before speaking again.
           “Simon. He is a PL600.” you stated to the two androids, your hope soaring high that he could still be alive. Before either android could speak up, you heard more footsteps followed by a remarkably familiar voice.
           “What’s going on, I heard a commotion and I thought-” the voice spoke, and you saw him again, Simon, the first time in 2 years.
           “Simon is that really you?” you asked the android as he stood there shocked, looking at you as if he saw an apparition.
           “(Y/N), what are doing here?” Simon barely squeaked out, astonished that he was seeing you before him. You leapt forward enveloping the android in a loving embrace as you began to weep.
           “I-I thought you were d-dead!” you exclaimed through sobs as you clutched the android, thinking that if you let go for even a microsecond, he would disappear again. Simon clutched you as well pulling you protectively closer to himself, shushing you and trying to get you to calm down. You wept and sobbed for about 5 minutes as years of burden were lifted from you.
           “I-I missed you so much, I thought that you were gone forever, and I never got to say goodbye.” you cried into the android’s shoulder, begging God to never take Simon away from you ever again. “I gave up everything I had just so I could find you, my house, job, everything. I never got to tell you something and it’s chipped away at me for years.” you told Simon as he kept you close, fearing that HE might lose YOU.
           “What did you want to tell me?” Simon questioned as he pulled away slightly to look at your face. You leapt forwards and kissed the android on the lips, savoring what you wished you did that day after work. Simon was surprised by this and kissed you back, wishing to rA9 that you would never go. You pulled away to look at his beautiful ocean-blue eyes.
           “I love you. I always have, and always will, if you’ll have me?” you asked Simon as you played the love’s version of Russian roulette. You noticed as the LED on Simon’s temple glowed a steady golden color before turning blue once more.
           “YES!” Simon exclaimed as he pulled you into another short kiss. “I love you too and will love you until the day I permanently shut down.” Simon told you as you stayed in his loving arms.
           North had left by that point to do whatever she needed to do, but Markus stayed behind to watch this display of affection between a new couple. You turned around to see Markus with a smile on his face as he looked at the love a human and an android can have. Markus looked you in the eyes as he made a decision.
           “I’ve always thought that having a human in Jericho could help teach those among us that hate humanity, that the human race isn’t entirely evil. Wouldn’t you agree, Simon?” Markus asked your new lover which got Simon’s gaze off of you and towards his leader.
           “Yes, that could definitely work. We should strive for harmony together and this would be a great steppingstone to do so. What to you think?” Simon asked you as he looked back down at you. You thought about it and decided in favor of it. Humans should live peacefully with androids as equals and should love each other.
           “I’m up for it.” you say as you look up at your android boyfriend, mesmerized by his still perfect appearance.
           “Well, then it’s decided. Welcome to Jericho, (Y/N). Here we’ll forge a better future for androids and mankind.” Markus declared before he and Simon walked you down to the rest of the deviants on the ship.
           You found Simon after years, years of never giving up and never taking the easy way out, and you were rewarded for it. The reward you got was one in which you got to confess your love to the one who you always loved, and on top of that, you get to make a better, harmonious world at his side; a world in which humanity and androids can live in peace and love, together, forever.
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meltwonu · 4 years
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| good in bed |     [chapter 1]
pairing; non-idol!chan x reader
this chapter’s notes; HELLO HELLO!! Gettin this ball rollin with the first chapter of good in bed!!!😚💕 Thank u for the interest in this fwb au with chan~ he needs more love yall hehe kind of an introductory chapter but fingering, (barely a) handjob and minor exhibitionism eheheh love u!!!💕💕💕💕
chapters; 1 - x - x - x
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“So, how was your date with Jun-hyung?”
Chan toes his shoes off at the door, arms full of groceries and snacks for your weekly movie night at your apartment. You set your own bags down on the countertop before sighing and wiping the sweat from your brow. “It was okay. He kept asking me if I wanted to see videos of his hot dog roller and I couldn’t tell if that was sexual or if he really had a hot dog roller?” Chan laughs to tears, barely setting his bags down on the dining table before collapsing to the floor.
“Fuck, please tell me you’re kidding?” You shake your head ‘no’ at him, placing the various groceries in their places in the kitchen before grabbing the box of popcorn to make.
“I wish I was. He asked me if I wanted to go on a second date so he could show it to me in person.”
“Did you say yes?”
You shoot Chan an incredulous look, placing the bag of popcorn in the microwave and pressing start. “Uh, no?” He gets up from the floor, wiping the stray tears from his eyes before grabbing some of the other snacks and taking them to the living room to set up the space for your movie night.
“You should’ve. Maybe he would’ve shown you his massive dick and you missed out.”
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You’re 3 movies in, 2 bags of popcorn cooked and Chan is already nodding off at 9PM.
“Chan, you ok over there?” He hums, sitting up on the sofa as he yawns. “Yeah, sorry, Soonyoung-hyung is really grilling us for the dance competition and we’re in the practice room a lot longer than usual. I’m beat. He could rip my legs off and I wouldn’t even feel it.” You look over to him rubbing his eyes, trying to wipe the sleepiness out of them as he reaches for the bucket of popcorn in between the two of you. “You should’ve just stayed home and rested, you didn’t need to come over for movie night if you’re this tired...” Frowning, you reach over, smoothing his mussed hair as he whines.
“I’m not a baby! And anyway, we’ve never missed movie night! Remember the time we got food poisoning from Jihoon-hyung’s cooking? We still had movie night, just with barf buckets.”
Laughing at the memory, you get up from your spot on the sofa, grabbing more drinks from the kitchen before settling back into your spot on the couch.
“True, I don’t know what we’d do without our movie nights.” Chan’s eyes flit to your form next to him, fingers in the bowl of popcorn. “I dunno, probably getting laid?” You choke on a sip of soda, the carbonated beverage getting onto your shirt. “What!?”
“What? Am I wrong? I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about any of your dates getting any further than the first date lately. And you’ve gone on a lot of them recently.”
The blush that coats your features is burning hot as you set your drink down onto the coffee table. You and Chan had talked about your dates and love lives before, but something about how blunt he’d just been surprised you. “Yeah, well, I dunno. I’m just not getting the right vibes, y’know? I know you’re friends with some of the people I’ve dated but just… I dunno. Maybe my chakras aren’t aligned or whatever.” He rolls his eyes at you jokingly, tired eyes back to the forgotten movie on screen.
“What if we just… I dunno, fucked?”
You can feel your pupils shaking as you stare holes into the side of Chan’s head. “Excuse me, what?”
He clears his throat, reaching for his glass of water on the side table before taking a sip and setting it back down. “I mean, you haven’t been getting any and I haven’t been getting any… We should maybe try it out?”
“You make it sound like we’re just trying kombucha for the first time! How are you so calm about this?!”
Chan laughs as he glances at you, noticing the blush covering your cheeks. “Because… Well, I don’t know. I guess cause we’re best friends? I trust you out of all people, you know? I know you won’t bite my dick off?” You bite the inside of your cheek; in all honesty, you had a huge crush on Chan for a while and the only reason you’d been going on so many dates lately was because you were trying to forget about your crush on Chan.
“Chan… I don’t know, this seems complicated?”
“You said you weren’t getting laid so…”
“Yeah, Chan, I said that but I dunno about this…”  He cracks a smile, hand in the bucket of popcorn next to you. “You also said you didn’t want random hook-ups either, not after Seungkwan tried to finger you in that Ferris wheel two weeks ago.” You grimace at the memory; you were 3 seconds away from getting the good ‘ol police escort out of the theme park.
“I did say that…”
“Well? I’m not random, I’m your best friend! And anyway, Soonyoung’s been so far up my ass with practice for the dance competition at the end of the year so I haven’t been getting any either. It’d work out for both of us?” Chan crams a fist full of popcorn into his mouth, eyes never leaving the tv screen. You contemplate his words for a minute; Chan was insanely handsome and if you were being completely honest, you’d had a crush on him for a while now which is why you weren’t sure this was the right route.
“Chan, I don’t know…”
“Okay, well, just think about it? I’m always here for you. Even if you want to tie me up to the bedpost.”
You nod, a quiet ‘okay’ leaving your lips before you turn to the tv yourself.
“Let’s finish this movie because Sonic the Hedgehog is next on our list and I wanna see it already.”
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When Chan leaves your apartment at midnight, he hugs you goodbye, reminding you to think about his proposition. You nod, a tight lipped smile on your face when you shut the door.
You tidy up your place slowly, the thoughts of Chan swimming in your head the entire time it takes for you to clean up and get ready for bed. There was really nothing wrong with his suggestion; you just weren’t sure if it’d make or break your friendship with him. It was fine that you kept your crush on him to yourself, but you knew that adding any sort of physical relationship would make it hard for you to not fall for him even harder. On the flipside, you’d finally be able to fuck your crush without him noticing anything, probably.
Groaning, you reach for your phone, scrolling through various apps before sighing again. Was it worth all the risk?
Screw it, you think, if it destroys our friendship at least we went out with a bang.
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You realize when you ring the doorbell to Jeonghan’s apartment that only an actual psycho throws a party on a Tuesday night. I guess that’d be Jeonghan. He opens the door and lets you in, a drunken flush already evident on his skin as he thrusts a cup into your hand.
“There’s more drinks in the kitchen, Minghao’s the bartender tonight!!” You grimace as you smell the contents of the cup, taking a sip before you walk further into the apartment. Noticing a few of your one time dates, you awkwardly wave at them before making a beeline for the kitchen in order to avoid conversation.
“Hey! There you are, come have a drink!”
To your slight surprise, Chan’s already there, arm outstretched with a shot in hand. You had barely talked to him all weekend, giving him and yourself some time to think about the decision you’d both made. Although he had texted you once at 3am asking you a list of your top ten things you wanted to try out in the bedroom; to which you had taken at least 3 hours to come up with before sending the text and throwing your phone at your bed as the sun began to rise into the sky.
Taking the shot out of his hand, you down it, setting the cup back onto the countertop. “When did you get here, Chan?” He downs his own before wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you closer towards him. 
“Not too long ago, but Jeonghan’s been really shoving the alcohol down our throats tonight so it feels like it’s been hours.” He finishes with a laugh, fingertips digging into your clothed waist. “Been thinkin’ about you though, y’kno?”
“O-oh, really?”
“Mmhmm. Y’kno that fourth thing on your list that you sent me… I was waiting for you to show up cause I think we can try it out if you’re interested. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting a ‘lil ahead of myself and thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to do to you if you’d let me. Wanna get started?” You blush, almost crushing the cup in your hand when you remember what the fourth item on your list was.
Exhibitionism.
“I, um, o--okay, yeah let’s---let’s do it.”
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When Chan pushes you into the storage closet of Jeonghan’s apartment, you can’t help but be a little confused, almost tripping over a misplaced wrench before plastering yourself against the wall.
“No offense Chan, but a storage closet?” He turns the flashlight on from his phone, searching for a light inside of the tiny room only to not find one before turning the flashlight off. “Aww, baby wants to fuck on a bed?” His voice is teasing, a stupidly handsome smirk visible on his face once your eyes adjust to the dark.
“Normally yes?”
“Well, too bad. The only bed in this place is Jeonghan’s and I know he’d make my life hell if I fucked you on it. Anyway, I… I wanna take it a ‘lil slow with you so we’ll start off with some basic shit, okay?” You roll your eyes, although you can’t deny the heat pooling in your lower abdomen. “I don’t know how basic this’ll be but … okay.”
Chan places his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him so that you can feel his hardness already straining in his jeans. “I’m not gonna lie, I was a little shocked when you sent that list of yours… But if I’m being honest, a lot of it is stuff I wanted to try too, so I guess it works out for us, huh?” He grinds into you, a small moan on his lips when he slots a leg in between yours. “Did you think about me at all?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Good. Can I kiss you?”
“Yes… please.” You’re nervous and about to change your entire relationship with Chan but the excitement overpowers all of your other emotions when he leans in, his lips on yours for the first time ever. He tastes like vodka and citrus when he dips his tongue into your mouth; your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in closer.
His hips work against yours as the two of you grind against each other in the tiny space. Chan’s lips part from yours, trailing down your neck in soft movements. “Can I leave marks?” You nod your head furiously, moaning loudly at his lips sucking love bites onto your skin. “I’m surprised you asked. Don’t you want them to know what we’re doing in here?” Chan smirks against your skin, hands moving from your waist to the button on your jeans.
“Mmm, don’t we both?” Chan pops the button of your jeans, working the zipper down before he plays with the hem of your panties between his fingertips. “I want to make sure you want this before I start. I want to hear you say it.”
“I want you, Chan.”
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You don’t know how long has passed since Chan’s fingers spread your pussy open, the sound of your wetness bouncing off of the tiny room’s walls. “Ugh, Chan, p-please, another finger? I need more!” The music playing outside in the living room is loud and you hope somewhat that your voice is muffled when you cry out. Chan obliges, adding a third finger as you grind down onto his digits.
“Aww, baby, I’ve been doing all the work. Won’t you give me a ‘lil something too?”
You tug him in for another kiss, trailing a hand down his torso before you’re undoing his jeans, pushing his underwear down to wrap a hand around his cock. Precum leaks from the tip as Chan moans against your lips, thrusting his hips up into your closed hand as you squeeze your hand around him.
“Bet you wish it was my pussy instead, huh?” 
You bite his lower lip before pulling away, “Too bad you didn’t just fuck me on Jeonghan’s bed but oh well~” Chan growls, thrusting his fingers into you particularly hard before his thumb starts to circle your clit.
“Don’t get cocky with me now, babe. Being a brat was only 8th on your list and I don’t think you want me to get mean with you just yet.”You grip on his cock loosens as you feel your orgasm building, moans freely spilling from your lips.
“Hey do you hear that?”
A muffled voice on the other side of the closet door has you pausing for a second, pussy clenching around Chan’s fingers. He smirks in the darkness, rubbing quicker circles on your clit. “C’mon, baby, cum for me, let them hear how pretty you sound when I’m making you cum.”
“Fuck, what the hell are you two doing in my closet!?”
Chan laughs, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Cum, now.”  
All you can hear is the sound of your heart thrumming in your chest and Chan’s breathy moans as Jeonghan’s voice gets drowned out in the background when you cum. You’re sure nothing coherent is leaving your lips when Chan’s fingers continue to work you through it.
“Get the fuck out of my closet you nasty asses!”
“Ok but they sound good, ya’ll got an onlyfans or what?”
“Oof, is this why there was no second date?”
When Chan pulls his fingers out of your pussy is when you start to remember when you are, fingers still loosely wrapped around his cock when he licks his fingers clean. You run your hand up and down his shaft; hand coated in a sticky substance.
“Damn baby, even with the zero energy handjob I still came, guess you’re that powerful huh? Wonder what that pussy will do to me when we finally get to it.”
“Bitch, I will fucking kill you before you get to it, now get out of my closet!”
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spaceiez · 3 years
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Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Gravity Falls Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines Characters: Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Older Dipper Pines, Older Mabel Pines, Human Bill Cipher, Alcohol, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change Summary:
Sophomore year of college and Dipper is ready for new adventures! But, when there is an unexpected dorm room change, Dipper must face a new challenge, a (crazy?) roommate named Bill Cipher.
Chapter One:  Illnnzgv Xszmtv
Dipper felt his lips curve into a smile as he set one of his suitcases into the bright blue college moving cart. He stood back up and slid out a plastic bin, filled with bedsheets, blankets, a mattress pad, and his pillow, out of the car trunk. He plopped it into the moving cart with his black suitcase. The young man glanced up, smiling wider as he took in the large campus around him. Dipper could feel both the excitement of being back at college and the anticipation of starting a new year with new classes rising in his chest.
His pine tree trucker cap was suddenly shoved down in front of his line of sight, which jolted him from his thoughts, “Hey!” He whined, fixing the hat back to its proper place and brushing the hair from his eyes.
His twin sister grinned at him, giggling at his reaction, “Sorry, couldn’t help it bro. I have to let my energy and excitement out somehow!” She poked his arm as she danced around him.
Dipper laughed, “Okay, okay, how about you direct that energy into unloading your stuff from the car?”
Mabel patted Dipper’s shoulder thoughtfully, “Check-in isn’t for another five minutes, I got plenty of time.”
“You have four large bins, a mini-fridge, one suitcase full of sweaters, two suitcases full of other clothes, and another with dorm decorations,” he raised his eyebrow, “And...I’m pretty sure you have a duffle bag full of just gummy candy.”
Mabel shrugged, “Gummy koalas supply more energy.” Despite her words, she did start unloading her college bags into her moving cart, occasionally plopping a gummy candy into her mouth. Mabel pulled out a bag of stickers from her suitcase and smacked a glittery rainbow on one of Dipper's plastic bins, "BAP! Now your bin is stylish!"
"It's already stylish," Dipper smiled as he pointed to his bin. It already had a 'California' and 'film student' sticker on it. He shook his head and continued to unload his bags.
It was their second year in college at a well-known university in Los Angeles. The twins had always wanted to attend college there and as fate had it they were both accepted. They were also thrilled that they could experience college together as they had with middle and high school. Sometimes having your sibling around during new adventures was better than any best friend or significant other. Mabel was a second-year fashion and design student while Dipper was majoring in film and media studies. The kid dreamed of starting some kind of ghost hunting show or something that covered the supernatural. After spending their summers in Gravity Falls, where they were constantly exposed to the supernatural, Dipper became obsessed.
Dipper waved his hand towards his face as he began to sweat, “Gosh, why did our move-in date have to be one of the hottest days of the year?”
Mabel nodded, thankfully she had a loose, white cropped tank top on. It definitely helped with the heat. “Global warming. It’ll only get worse.” She frowned sourly, carefully setting her sweater suitcase in the cart.
Dipper nodded and handed her the car keys, “Hey, lock the car once you’ve got everything in your cart. I’m going to check into my dorm and start unpacking. I’ll say hi to Nick for you.” Dipper smiled at her and she responded with a salute.
Nick was a close friend from Dipper’s friend group he joined last year. They had similar majors and enjoyed many of the same tv shows, hobbies, and books so they decided to room together this year despite the common belief that ‘friendships get ruined that way'. There wasn’t really anyone else to live with anyway. And random roommates were a hit or miss.
As Dipper pushed his cart along the path to the dorm he happily took in the view around him. The college was pretty gorgeous with its Greek-like yet modern-style buildings. The pathways that led to the halls and dorms were surrounded by open green spaces. Most students liked to study there or just relax with friends. The large trees were also a nice touch. Dipper inhaled deeply; it reminded him of Oregon.
He came up to a long, modern-looking building that was around five stories tall. Vines crawled up the sides of the walls and some trees stood around the perimeter. ‘Smith’ was etched on the entrance. The brunette smiled up at it and proceeded to walk inside. Thankfully a gust of AC greeted him, much better than the outside heat. A young woman, either Dipper’s age or a year older, hurried over to him with a wide smile. She had highlighted brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and long eyelashes. The woman wore a blue shirt with loud yellow words, reading ‘Student Coordinator Team’ and carried a clipboard, probably full of welcome sheets or something of that matter.
“Hello there! I’m Annie, a student coordinator, here to help you with move-in! Can I get your last name?”
Smiling politely, Dipper nodded, “Pines. Dipper Pines. Thanks, but I already know I’m in room 128 with Nick Shasta.”
The young woman flipped through the papers attached to her clipboard, soon stopping and squinting at one of the pages, “Ohh.” She sighed through her nose, “I’m really sorry, but there were some issues with roommates and dorms and Housing had to make some last minute changes.”
Dipper blinked twice, his stomach flipping, “What? Changes? Why?”
She shrugged, “They were last minute, but you are now in room 918.” She glanced at her paper as if she needed to double-check, then Annie nodded. She handed him a keycard from a box that sat on the front desk. Dipper stuttered, “I don’t get it, why was my room changed? Does Nick know? Can I change back?”
She looked over Dipper’s face, which was already red from the heat, but now more so from the unexpected news. "You can email Housing Services, I’m sure they can help explain this better than me. I’m sorry.” She gave him an apologetic look.
Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Okay, thanks. I guess. I’ll email them. Thanks.” He sucked at his lower lip, quickly pushing his moving cart past the girl and to the elevators, his head spinning.
Why a last-second change? Was Nick aware? The elevator doors opened and Dipper pulled the cart inside as he went through various scenarios in his head. His anxiety made it hard to process the situation. When the doors opened he arrived at the fifth floor. Dipper licked his dry lips and sighed. Just email Housing, text Nick. No big deal. No big deal.
Students lined the hall with their parents, unpacking their things and getting settled into their dorms. Others were chatting with friends, looks of giddy excitement on their faces. Some were crying and hugging their parents. 916...917...918. Dipper closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing mind before he met the person behind the door. Once the thoughts were as quiet as they were going to get, Dipper unlocked the door with his key car and pulled his cart inside.
The door shut behind him, closing Dipper off from the hallway. The room was larger than an average dorm room, having two twin-sized beds, two desks, two dressers, two large closets near the door, and room for a tiny kitchen area. Although one had to bring a microwave and mini-fridge. There was nice cupboard space which was a plus.
One side of the room was already set up. The twin bed was decorated in soft grey sheets, a fluffy black pillow, and a white comforter that sported yellow triangles. There were pictures hung over the wall above the bed. Some were of a group of friends and others were of odd subjects, like a random fork or tree.
Dipper turned his attention to the kitchen area. The individual had brought a mini-fridge and had decorated it in more triangles and other geometric shapes, this time the shapes were multiple different colors that formed a messy rainbow across the stainless steel door. On the person’s desk was a computer as well as a weird-looking plant, and a jar of…
“The fuck…” Dipper mumbled slowly, squinting to see if he was viewing the objects in the jar correctly.
Teeth. Different sizes and types of teeth filled the mason jar. Dipper blinked slowly, what the hell? He plopped down on the bare mattress on his side of the room and continued to observe the other side of the room as if it was a specimen itself. It wasn’t very messy, but there was an open box of Oreos and a can of beer on the dresser. Colored lights lined the sides of the ceiling and were flashing different colors. It was quite obnoxious actually.
Dipper groaned. Hopefully, he could move in with Nick after he sent an email to Housing because the person who lived on the other side of this dorm room was a freak. A freak who collected deer teeth and probably got drunk every night.
The dorm room door suddenly swung open and a young man lazily leaned against the doorframe as he looked over Dipper, a strange glint in his eyes. The man had different tones and layers of blonde hair, which caused it to be fluffy and stick out in random places. The freckles across his cheeks and shoulders complimented his sun-kissed skin nicely. His eyes were two different colors, one being a soft golden and the other a bright blue. Dipper didn’t have much time to take that in, because his already-stressed brain was focused on other key aspects about this guy. For one, he was wearing nothing but black shorts, not even shoes or socks. The second was that he had some nice abs. Shit, they were really nice abs. And the third, he held another jar of...something...in his hands
“I lost this bad boy in my car,” he wiggled the jar and whatever was in the inside bobbed around within the liquid solution, “took me ten minutes to find it. It was so hot outside, thought they might melt or something. Hell, I could have melted. Damn heat!” He laughed loudly which made Dipper flinch. The young man waved his hand in front of his face to cool off, “Bill Cipher by the way.”
A second later, the blonde tossed Dipper the jar. Dipper’s reflexes kicked in and he caught it in his hands, fumbling a little. He stared down at the jar to see what was inside and what was inside...stared back. The jar was full of real eyeballs.
Dipper shrieked.
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hopetofantasy · 4 years
Text
Culture, parallels & meta - S3 E3
Zaterdag 08:10
Perfect parallel: An upset Robbe being little spoon to Noor this episode, him being a relaxed little spoon to Sander in the last one.
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Moyo has half eaten wafers cookies on his bed. Between the cellphone time and timestamp, it took Robbe five minutes to get dressed and to the beach. The beautiful angel pendant makes its first appearance.
Bonus: This cinematography trick of using a wide shot with nobody else in the sight, makes us actually feel how lonely Robbe actually is. 
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Zaterdag 08:23
C is for culture: “Vamanos” - As you may have noticed, Flemish has a lot of words that aren’t typically Dutch. These are called ‘leenwoorden’ (= ‘borrowing words’). In some cases, the language has made the word its own, with their conjugation or sound (like barbecue - barbecuet - or e-mail - ge-e-maild), other times the expression is copied completely (like smartphone or laptop). There are various reasons as to why people don’t want to change it: globalization, wanting to be more vague/cool, general laziness, ...
Perfect parallel: 
Sander’s playful “Are you the manager?” and “That’ll be zero stars on Booking.com” to Robbe when they meet in this episode, Sander’s sheepish “Zero stars on Booking.com” and Robbe’s pointed “Where is that manager when you need him?”, when they have their fall-out in a later episode. 
Sander saying “When I booked this room, I explicitly asked for room-service” here and him actually booking a room with room-service for the both of them later on.
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Jens’ keyboard is lying on top of the closet. Sander grabbing his keys (to his car?).
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Zaterdag 08:44
C is for culture: The option to use self-scanning is pretty common in Belgian supermarkets, especially in shop-and-go city stores. You pick up the scanner, scan the stuff you buy, go to a counter, pay and walk out with your groceries. A sales assistant is still present to help out with problems or do random routine checks. It’s fast, easy and cost-efficient. The downside? Shoplifting becomes a bit easier this way.
That’s character: Sander is putting up a ‘cool guy, devil may care’ facade. He jokes about not scanning everything, dismisses Amber’s list, whirls the shopping cart around and sings David Bowie to this boy. He wants to make a lasting impression on Robbe. If he’s the most charming, chaotic and adventurous version of himself, then he doesn’t have to think about other stuff like his own crumbling relationship. (Also the reason why he doesn’t answer the question about Amber: they simply met through Britt). As the boxes fall down, so does Sander’s tough exterior, as he never intended to hurt Robbe by playing around in the supermarket.
Robbe’s clumsiness meter: +3, he almost topples off the cart twice and drops the chocolate bars on the floor. (The crash with Sander isn’t his fault though)
Oopsie: 
Sander is wearing a leather jacket, but we don’t see it in the previous clip. Either he left it in his car or it’s an ‘oopsie’.
When Sander accidentally tosses Robbe into the boxes, we hear glass breaking. However, in the next shot, the boxes seem to empty (and they were supposed to be filled with chips, which don’t make that sound).
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Sander is wearing black Converse. They bought Jupiler beer. Robbe pulls out ‘Delhaize’ Biscuit chocolate bars and Florentin cookies.
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Zaterdag 13:13
C is for culture: "Croques” - The word ‘croque’ is an abbreviation for ‘croque monsieur’ (= ‘crunch mister’). These are grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches, a typical greasy snack at taverns, markets, carnivals, your home, ... Other versions include the ‘croque madame’ topped with a fried egg, ‘croque bolognese’ with bolognese sauce, ‘croque hawai’ with a pineapple slice.
That’s character: It’s clear that Robbe has no idea how to eat properly. All throughout the season he eats unhealthy breakfasts (choco spread with cookies), snacks (chips, cookies) and dinners (Aïki noodles, frozen lasagna). But here we see the reason: he doesn’t seem to know how to cook or work a stove. Exactly why he buys prepackaged or instant food options. So, it’s probably for the best that Zoë helps out his eating habits.
Perfect parallel:
Robbe making an unhealthy breakfast in the previous episode, Sander providing him with an unhealthy snack in this one. (The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach)
Britt’s condescending “Listening to David Bowie again?” in this episode, her calling Robbe his next obsession similar to David Bowie later on. 
Sander’s “Do you know where I can find the coffee?” to Robbe in an earlier scene and his “Was coffee on the list?” to Amber here.
Robbe’s clumsiness meter: +2, he stumbles backwards after Sander touches his shoulder and burns himself after turning the ‘croque’.
Nod to the OG: This kitchen scene is the equivalent of the ‘5 fine frøkner’ scene, as Sander sings his favorite song to Robbe and makes breakfast, whilst both flirt with each other (subtly).
Oopsie: They supposedly went to ‘Delhaize’ for all their groceries, but the ketchup bottle comes from ‘Carrefour’ and the butter from ‘Colruyt’. 
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Sander messes up the first words to ‘Under Pressure’ - it’s ‘pressure’ not ‘under pressure’. He mixes the weed with tobacco for his joint. The conflict on Sander’s face at the end.
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Zondag 16:34
C is for culture: "What kind of shit question is this?” - They’re playing ‘De Slimste Mens ter wereld’ (= ‘The smartest human on earth’), a board game by the popular Flemish television show with the same name. The quiz is very challenging. People have to solve associative, general knowledge and out-of-the-box questions with multiple answers in different rounds. Points are awarded in the form of seconds, which are used during the game. The candidate with time left at the end, wins.
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The group is drinking white wine out of plastic cups. Sander studied at ‘de!Kunsthumaniora’, the same school as Noor. Sander’s wearing his combat boots again.
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Maandag 15:12
C is for culture: Aaron is wearing a bunny costume for the paintball game ‘Hunt the bunny’. This is usually played by people on a bachelor party or a corporate team building (with the groom/boss as the bunny). The goal is simple: the bunny has to cross the field from one corner to another, whilst the hunters shoot as much paintballs as possible to ‘kill’ it. Which is... rather painful, especially at close range. 
Oopsie: What they’re doing is actually illegal or even impossible. People aren’t allowed to play paintball in protected environments, like dunes. Unless they’re doing it with a specialized organization who’s trained for these games (and are present at the time of playing) or have the written permission from the ‘Agency of Nature and Forest’, the police, the city, ... There is a whole heap of permissions, administrative papers and laws to deal with. 
Lost in translation: Britt saying “Doe normaal” (= “Act normal”) has nothing to do with her dismissing Sander’s mental health. This Flemish phrase is often used to calm people down, telling them that they’re acting rather irrationally or childish. It’s an angry way of saying “Can’t you behave yourself? Calm down. What are you doing? Be rational!”. 
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The blue and red flags tells us that they’re going to play ‘capture the flag’. Some of the ‘pfff’ gun sounds you hear, indicate that the air pressure needs to be checked. Moyo took off his protection mask, which is dangerous and sometimes considered a foul during the game.
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Dinsdag 20:02
C is for culture: "Do you know how to make s’mores?” - Toasting marshmallows above a campfire, isn’t really a tradition in Belgium. So that’s why the girls don’t know how to make s’mores. 
Lost in translation: ’Smoor’ is a Flemish dialect word for smoke or the act of smoking. It does sound a lot like ‘s’mores’. This is why Luca thinks Aaron wants to hold the marshmallow into the fire. 
Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Of course Robbe had nothing to lose with Noor, he wasn’t actually interested in her. With Sander, however, Robbe doesn’t dare to do anything.
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Aaron is drinking ‘Bock’ beer. Amber looks at Aaron like she really likes him, when he’s preparing the s’mores.
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Woensdag 20:42
C is for culture: 
“An old german bunker” - The province of West-Flanders as well as its coast still has a lot of remnants left from WWI. From German bunkers to trench-networks, burial sites and museums, the 'Great war’ left its traces. Unsurprisingly, every year, people still find around 300 tons of (active) bombs underneath the fields.
“Around ‘All Souls’ Day’ they come back to life” - ‘All Souls’ Day’ is a christian holiday on the 2nd of November, on which the dead are commemorated. However, since that day isn’t an official holiday in Belgium, people visit the graves and honor of their loved ones on the 1st of November, ‘All Saint’s Day’. 
The group drinking ‘jenever’ shots - ‘Jenever’ (known in English as ‘Dutch gin’ or ‘genever’) is a traditional liquor in Belgium and the Netherlands. Young people usually drink these colored, high percentage spirits at Christmas markets, pre-drinks or parties when it’s cold outside. Different flavors include vanilla, chocolate, berries, lemon, apple, ...
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The wooden panel behind Jens says ‘Volg de pijlen’ (= ‘Follow the arrows’). Aaron and Amber are holding hands after their fall. Robbe downs a chocolate-cream ‘jenever’ shot at the end. 
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Woensdag 21:53
Perfect parallel: Robbe lashing out at his friends in this episode - he feels left out and confused about his sexuality - and blames the pranks. Him doing the same in the next - he thinks his friends are hypocrites by saying homophobic comments to him yet defending the gay teacher - and blames the vlogs. 
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The second living room has a spinning disco light.
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Donderdag 21:12
C is for culture:
“In dat jeugdhuis” - A ‘jeugdhuis’ (= ‘youth house’) is a meeting place, run by young volunteers. All teens and young adults are welcome to hang out, throw parties, drink at their bar, organize concerts, attend workshops - just making the space their own. 
“He sounded like a begging Romanian” - Luca is referring to Romanian Romani families, who roam around in the streets of Brussels begging for some money. These ethnic groups have a mostly negative image amongst the Europeans. Which is why she states this harsh and hurtful comparison.
Perfect parallel: Noor asking Robbe for a playlist so she can listen to his favorite songs here, Sander actually making a Bowie playlist for Robbe in the next episode.
Lost in translation: Luca is mocking the West-Flemish dialect by copying what the boy said, namely “Moe’en julder ok ‘n flyer ‘ennen?”. This dialect is known for blowing their ‘g’ and ‘h’ so that they sound similar, conjugating their 'yes’ or ‘no’, having double subjects, seemingly swallowing some letters, among other things. It’s one of the most confusing and difficult dialects for the Flemish to understand themselves.
Oopsie: When Aaron asks Amber if she needs a drink, Britt and Sander are dancing right behind him. When she answers and walks away, they’re suddenly gone, only to be seen again when Moyo walks over.
Nod to the OG/Wink to other remakes: The ‘call your girlfriend’ kiss, duh! 
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Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Jana is wearing one white contact lens.
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Vrijdag 08:43
Perfect parallel: 
Sander searching for coffee first thing in the morning earlier this episode and him pouring a cup before any task in this clip.
Sander’s “Maybe I’m scared that I will never find someone” here and Robbe’s multi-layered “I’m so happy that I found you” in the last episode.
Oopsie: When the boys walk to the recycling spot, the lighting changes from sunny to clouded to dark in a matter of seconds.
Funny coincidence: Sander referring to his relationship as ‘ups and downs’, probably similar to his experience with bipolarity.
Wink to other remakes: An almost kiss near trash, remind you of certain Italian boys?
Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Amber delegating tasks, but doing nothing herself. Robbe smiles for a few milliseconds, because Sander touched him. The flash of panic in Robbe’s eyes afterwards.
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185 notes · View notes
aries-writingblog · 3 years
Text
Stay With Me (2)
Summary: James Buchanan Barnes had never looked at himself as a family guy. He never even thought of it until she came around, flipping his world inside out. Bucky likes trouble and this girl? Well, she seems to invite chaos to dinner.
Pairing: Mob! Bucky Barnes x OC! Alex Grant
Chapter Word Count: 1898
Chapter Warnings: Language, mentions of violence, actual violence (one little hit, nothing big)
A/N: This is an OC story but I try to make them with the least amount of physical description as necessary. The pronouns used are feminine for the character.
“Hey, Alex- you’ve got another package on the front porch.” Wanda announced, walking through the door with Peter and Pietro in tow. The woman groaned, pressing her head to the kitchen island countertop.
“Again?” Alex asked, she looked over to Peter. “It’s the third time in two weeks- are you telling your boss the supplies we need?” Peter’s eyes widened and he shook his head. For the past two weeks, three unmarked packages arrived on Alex’s doorstep. The first just had some essentials for wood working- stain, paint, putty, a couple of new carving knives. The second had been similar- then she read back over a receipt as she was balancing her cheque book, noting the exact same products were present in the boxes. She could only imagine what was in the next one.
And she absolutely refused to change hardware stores- the workers were always so kind to her and the youth that typically dropped by- most of them attending the annual auctions to show support. More than once, they banded together and presented the group with a donation- which prompted Alex to make holiday cookies for the store employees every year. So, no- she would not give up on her family simply because of one idiotic, stupid rich criminal, who seemed hell bent on forcing his way into her life.
“What makes you think they’re from Bucky?” He asked, snatching a drink from her fridge. Pietro grunted, jumping up and sitting on the island, leaning over to Alex.
“If he’s giving you free shit, I wouldn’t complain.” He commented, tugging at her hair gently. Alex looked up, cocking an eyebrow at the teen. “Wring that fucker dry.”
“Pietro.” Wanda scolded, slapping her brother’s arm. “I don’t blame you, Alex. He’s a shady character, with even shadier money.”
“Okay, why are two teens giving me advice, right now? Shouldn’t you be... I don’t know, cleaning your rooms or something?” She snipped, pushing Pietro off the countertop. “People eat here, get your ass off.”
“I’m serious, Alex.” Pietro stopped her, gazing at her. She stopped pushing, meeting his electric blue eyes. “It would help with some of the expenses here. You know that.”
“We aren’t broke. You are, dickhead.” Alex shoved him down the hallway. “Now go- I need laundry in five minutes or your ass is grass.”
Wanda laughed, following her brother down the hallway. The two had been orphaned kids when Alex found them. They were on the streets, trying to survive. Pietro had been caught stealing from a grocery store, Alex stepped in and apologized for his behavior. The, at the time, nine year old played along and then told Alex their situation. She immediately offered them a place in her home. Pietro had accepted, trusting her fully. Wanda had been suspicious but eventually warmed up to her. They’d lived together for six years, the teens would have their sixteenth birthday in a few months. Every time Pietro or Wanda offered to help out and get a job, she turned them down.
“I make plenty of money at the hospital. You’re only kids now, enjoy your time as kids.” She’d tell them.
“They’re right, you know.” Peter supplied, tossing his backpack to the floor. “He may make dirty money but he has plenty of it. If he’s blowing it on you- what’s the problem?” Alex scoffed, swallowing her last bite of cookie.
“The problem is that you don’t live here, Pete. Why are you always here?” She passed the last of the dessert over to Peter.
“Aunt May is working night shift again and I told her I would stay with you so she wouldn’t worry.” He explained, trying to talk around a mouthful of cookie. He swallowed, taking another swig of his drink. “Plus, Pietro and I have a science report due tomorrow and we haven’t started it yet.” Alex took a deep, calming breath, closing her eyes.
“That’s great, Peter. But I’m also working night shift this week. So, you’ll be here by yourselves.” Alex stood up, stretching her back out. “Don’t burn my house down.”
“Sure thing.” He beamed at her, a chuckle falling from her lips as she started up the stairs.
Alex quickly got dressed for work, pulling on her scrubs. She made sure she had her ID badge, clipping it to her pocket. She then stopped by Pietro and Wanda’s rooms to double check if the clothes were picked up. On her way down the stairs, she heard quiet whispering from the teens.
“- what’s the harm in a date with the guy?” Pietro asked. Wanda sighed, Alex could almost picture her pressing her fingers to her temples in annoyance.
“So what she doesn’t want to date anyone? Just let it go, Pietro. And no one said anything about her dating Bucky, Peter just said that he has an interest in her. And sending random gifts isn’t gonna win that woman over, trust me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, do you know something?” Peter asked. Alex stopped on the steps, curious to hear what Wanda was going to spill to the group.
“Well... here’s the thing. In the back of Alex’s closet, there’s a-“ Wanda stopped, turning around and greeting Alex with a sheepish grin. “Oh, hi Alex.”
“Kids...” she narrowed her eyes, skirting around the group and going into the laundry room. There was a pause before three pairs of feet scurried after her.
“Can we order pizza tonight?” Pietro batted his eyelashes at her, giving his signature pouting smile. She returned the smile, mocking him.
“Pizza in the freezer. And stop going into my closet, Wanda.”
“In my defense, you told me I could borrow that top a few weeks ago and it fell off the hanger. So, was I really in your closet?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. Alex cocked an eyebrow and continued the laundry.
“What would you do, if hypothetically Mr. Barnes was like really interested in you?” Peter asked her, leaning over the washing machine.
“Peter.” She sighed. “I’m not dating your boss. End of story.” She started the machine before turning to Wanda. “Pizza’s in the freezer, keep an eye on it while it’s baking. Don’t let strangers into the house and keep an eye on your brother and Peter. Keep the laundry going and don’t work with any of the auction stuff until I get home. I don’t want any of you showing up at the hospital, wounded. Got it?”
Wanda nodded, repeating everything back to her. Alex grabbed her phone and keys, tucking them into her pockets. She hugged Wanda goodbye, ruffling Pietro‘s hair, before going out. She passed by the large box on the porch, groaning. She pushed it over to the edge of the porch, kicking it for good measure. Then, she got into her car and started to the hospital.
~~~~~~
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Bucky.” Steve advised, crossing his arms. He’d been slightly pissed all day, as soon as Bucky told him of the plan. Sam laughed, watching the buildings out of the window. Bucky groaned, throwing his head back onto the headrest.
“I’m just gonna ask if she got the deliveries. That’s it. No flirting, no banter, nothing. Zilch. Just a question.” Bucky reviewed, once again.
“But in practice, the deliveries are flirting tactics.” Steve pointed out, rolling his eyes. “She threatened to shoot you if you came back, Bucky. Leave it alone.”
“What’s the matter with you?” Bucky griped, cutting his eyes over to Steve. “You never give me shit for anything- girls in clubs, you’ve seen me beat guys senseless, shoot people, more questionable things than being interested in a woman.”
“She’s a woman who has her life together, man. Don’t pull her into this life.” Steve sighed, causing Bucky to shut his mouth. The SUV pulled to a stop in front of the house. Bucky unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out, slamming the door behind him. He jaunted up the steps and rapped his knuckles against the door. When it opened, he saw a teenaged boy with bleach white hair behind it.
“Can I help you?” He asked. He didn’t let the door open further than his shoulders. It was excusable. A strange, tattooed man at seven thirty standing on the porch of a woman who threatened to kill him. Bucky flashed a bright smile.
“Is Alex around, kid?” He asked, glancing over and spying the box still sitting unopened on the porch. “Ah... she hasn’t opened them?”
“You’re Bucky Barnes?” He asked, ticking an eyebrow up. Bucky nodded, reaching a hand out to shake hands. Pietro didn’t reciprocate, keeping the door tucked to him. Alex trained these kids well. “Well, thanks for the shit but Alex said she didn’t really want it.”
“Pietro, you left the oven-“ A girl with red hair stopped in her tracks. “What’s going on?”
“This is Barnes.” Pietro looked back at her.
“Oh, hi, Mr. Barnes!” Peter peeked his head around Pietro, opening the door wider. Pietro grumbled something but stood back a little to accommodate for the other boy. “What are you doing here?” Bucky silently sent a thanks to any deity currently listening in. Peter he could work with, the other two kids weren’t gonna give him the time of day. Much like Alex.
“Alex around?” He asked, trying to peek into the house further. Pietro shifted, blocking his view. He crossed his arms, scowling at the bulky mass of a man standing on their porch.
“No- she’s at work-“
“Peter!” The girl hissed, slapping a hand over his mouth. “Shut up!” She turned to Bucky again. “Listen, mister, we don’t want your gifts or you loitering on our porch. We’ve found Jesus, don’t need your depression pamphlet, and we don’t want any of your fucking cookies. Our mom doesn’t condone talking to strangers. Good day, sir.” She slammed the door in his face, the audible sound of several locks clicking.
“Wanda- what the fuck! He could kill you, you know that right?” One of the boys shrilled on the opposite side of the door. Bucky stood in shock- mom? Alex definitely did not look old enough to have two fifteen year olds.
“Oh please, as if. That’ll look real good to Alex, wouldn’t it? He won’t touch either of us.”
Bucky turned and jogged down the steps back to the car. When he opened the door, Sam was doubled over, laughing so hard he was crying. Steve was watching with a ‘I told you so’ smile.
“Alright, you’ve had your laughs.” He grumbled. Shoving his way into the car. Sam snickered, straightening up and looking over at the man.
“That little girl kicked your ass!” He burst out laughing again, pounding his fist on his knee. Bucky mimicked Sam’s words mockingly as he began a search on his phone.
“Whatever.” He breathed out, looking up to the driver. “Saint Quincy’s Hospital, Davis.” The driver nodded, starting the car.
“Why are we going to a hospital?” Steve asked, mirth in his voice. Sam began wiping the laughter from his face, sniffling. Bucky turned to Steve, unbuckling his seat belt.
“Punch me in the face.” He instructed, unbuttoning the top buttons on his shirt. Steve raised an eyebrow, cocking his head. Sam turned, serious again.
“Now, wait a minute-“ Sam was interrupted by Steve throwing a punch directly into Bucky’s nose. Bucky doubled over, holding his now bleeding nose. His eyes watered, stomach rolling.
“Shit!”
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alfred-braginsky · 3 years
Text
RusAme Secret Santa 2020
My secret santa this year is @grapeautumn​ !!! I hope you like it, Merry Belated Christmas! 
Gift requested:  Human AU Alfred accidentally summons a demon while making Christmas cookies. The problem comes when Alfred just vehemently doesn't believe in demons and just figures some random guy showed up at his house. The demon, Ivan, starts out fairly miffed but warms up to Alfred (Comedy/fluff, any rating)
Shit, shit , shit, shit!
Alfred simply cannot believe he forgot to make the Christmas cookies for the office potluck. Well, he could believe it. It was common knowledge that he was known to have one or two things slip from his mind. There was no way he could go out now at this point in the night. The roads were icy, and it was too snowy for anyone to see in this weather even with their brights on. All he had to make cookies was lingering ingredients in the cabinets. There wasn’t even a recipe he could follow, everything online looked like either too much work or too basic.
He couldn’t exactly serve up ‘banging your head against the wall’ at the party, so what could he do? A sense of clarity washed over him. He would call his friend Francis! After all, his pastries always seemed to kick ass at any event, formal or just your average potluck. Pulling out his phone he dials his number.
 No answer.
 Things seemed bleak. There was no hope. Nothing he could do. He didn’t have an inkling on the seemingly complicated mysteries to baking cookies. Another thought came to him in his time of need. There is no other choice. He was going to have to call Arthur.
Alfred shuddered at the thought of having to call his cousin for baking advice. The first reason being is that he would never hear the end of it from Arthur. He would have that smug smirk on his face as he brings it up every other Christmas with the family in that condescending tone Alfred hates so much.
The second reason being that any recipe he would get from him would probably end up as piles of ash. Arthur isn’t exactly known for his baking. Alfred hoped his improvisation skills would save him as long he had the building blocks for a cookie.
 Swallowing his pride didn’t seem so hard when he was this desperate. As the phone range he immediately regretted his decision. Too late to hang up now, Arthur would know he called.
 “Hm, hello?” the line stopped ringing as Arthur’s sleepy voice answered.
“…”  
Alfred hoped if he didn’t say anything maybe it will just be just be ignored and Alfred can go back to panicking in peace.
“Hello? Alfred? This better not be another prank call; I won’t fall for it twice! I’m hangin---”
“No! Wait…I’m sorry. This isn’t a prank, I swear.”
“What time is it there? Did something happen? Do I need come over there earlier than expected?”
“What? No! I need your help with something, and it doesn’t require you to come over.”
Arthur was silent for a moment out of curiosity.
“What do you want?” with cautious hesitation.
------
Alfred had explained everything. Arthur was as smug as expected. Luckily for Alfred, he didn’t need to write anything down. Arthur stored some of the books he likes to read  at his place for when he comes over for the holidays. An unpublished cookbook that Arthur had written himself was among the box of books.
Alfred went to the hallways closet and quickly located the box. Rifling through the book he was intrigued with a mix of disgust at how many cheesy romance novels were in the box. They all looked the same. His eyes widen as he spotted a book that looked different from all. The book was black and faded. It didn’t seem like Arthur’s style, but it was the only one that was different. Well, maybe if he looked more…
Nah!
There was no time for that. Alfred flipped through the book and was positive there had to be something in there. If it turned out to be Arthur’s diary, that was even better! Maybe he could find some dirt on him.
Speaking of dirt, it seems like that was the first ingredient for the cookies. Weird? But Alfred wasn’t going to question it.
He grabbed his coat and tried to get as much dirt as he could from the frozen ground. He collected all the dirt required in a bowl. Next step was flesh? Okay…this was going a bit off the track of cookies, but if this is what the recipe asked for who was he to question it?
He grabbed chicken nuggets from the freeze and heated them up in the microwave. Once heated up he put them in the dirt and began to mix the ingredients.
Alright, what did he need to do next? His eyes scanned the very old pages and his eyes widen at what the recipe asked for next.
“What the hell, cut a lock of my own hair?!” he exclaimed.
That had to be some kind of health code violation. Alfred is certain that the recipe will call for him to take it out later. The recipe required a few more ingredients that he was able to find nearby. After it was all mixed together, he rolled the nasty concoction out and began using Christmas cookie cutters to make them into holiday themed shapes. He sprinkled them with peppermint for a pop of color.
The final step was to leave them under the light of the full moon. Alfred looked out the window to see the entire moon above him. What luck! With a yawn he set them down with the window open for the full effect of the full moon’s rays. Baking took a lot of work and he deserved to rest. After taking a quick shower, he got into some comfy pajamas, and went to sleep.
The next morning, Alfred woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ear. Letting out a groan he put his phone on snooze and shut his eyes hoping for a few more minutes of sleep. His eyes snapped open as he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. He jumped out bed and immediately dug through his closet and pulled out a wooden baseball bat.
With caution he tipped toed out of his bedroom and around the corner where the banging and clashing was coming from. Swallowing hard, he gripped the bat tightly, ready to swing at whatever was in his kitchen. What made him think that leaving the window open at night was a good idea?!
Maybe it was a hungry raccoon. Maybe a party girl who went into the wrong house. Or maybe---
A tall man dressed in all black EATING HIS COOKIES!
“What the hell are you doing? Do you know how long it took me to make those!” Alfred shouted as he lowered the bat, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. His eyes held a pang of defeat. He was going to get scolded by his boss for not bringing anything to potluck again. His boss already didn’t like him. God, he was the fucking worst. At least bringing these cookies would have gotten him off his back today. Well, that is if this stranger hadn’t eaten them!
“Watch your tongue mortal.” A sweet yet threatening voice came from the intruder.
“What? Shut up! You’re the one who broke into my house and ate my Christmas cookies!” Alfred was so frustrated with this entire situation. The day started out so poorly he doesn’t know how it could possibly get any worse.
“You made me an offering. I was supposed to eat the offering.” The man had calmly explained. His previous demeanor shaken when the human who summoned him spoke to him in that way. No mortal has spoken to him like that, but he was unable to harm the entity who summoned him so there was nothing he could do about it.
“What offering? Dude, you literally broke into my house and ate the cookies that took me all night to make!”
“I am a demon from the 5th realm of Hell. I would not be in the house of someone like you if I was not called upon.” For the most part, people who summoned knew what they were doing. This man seemed clueless.
“A demon, huh? Where are your wings? Got any horns? You look like someone dug you out of the clearance section at Hot Topic.”
This references completely flew over Ivan’s head. This is taking into account that he could speak any mortal language, but he could not understand what it is the other man was going on about.
“I am in my most simple form to survive in this realm. You added unnecessary things to the offering, I could not come in my true form.”
“So ya can’t even prove it then?” Alfred crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow.
There was a moment of silence. Ivan was trapped in this realm with no powers, and no one to call upon. He hung his head in defeat.
“No. I cannot.”
Alfred sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do at this point.
“Alright, you’re gonna come to the grocery store with me and replace the ones you ate. Wait there, I’m gonna get dressed.” Alfred held a calm tone as he noticed things becoming less hectic. He nodded before leaving the kitchen.
Quickly getting dressed and packing his work stuff into his side bag, Alfred comes back to see the man standing in the exact same spot. This man has not moved an inch.
“Are…you alright?” he asks hesitantly, looking at him up and down. His eyes landed on the strange man’s face. Their eyes locked. He had purple eyes. How strange.
Alfred’s face flushes red as he realizes he was staring at him.
“Yes, I am fine. I was told to wait. You on the other hand look feverish? You are quite red.” His tone did not waver.
“Y-Yeah! I’m fine. Let’s just get going, don’t think I forgot about you eating my cookies.”
“I have already explained myself, that was an offering!” The demon becoming increasingly frustrated with the other man. Ivan was at a complete loss as to how this man did not know he had summoned him.
Alfred rolled his eyes and exited his apartment with the other man in tow. They got to his car and Alfred proceeded to get in. The demon looked confused.
“What are you standing around for, get in!”
The man had a look of embarrassment.
“I do not know how.”
Alfred was inclined to believe him, although it was something so unbelievable. However, his tone seemed too meek to say otherwise. He gets out of the car and makes his way over to the other man as snow crunches under his boots.
“See this? It’s a handle you just pull.” His voice laced with patience as he explained the tricky technology that was a car door. He was a faster learner, on the second try he managed to open the door.
Both were seated in the car and Alfred began to drive away.
“By the way you never told me your name. I’m Alfred. Alfred F. Jones!” A bright smile adorned his face as the other had a tint of red on his cheeks. Probably from the cold.
“My name is I̶͖̠͋̿̐́v̸͈̥̗͇̂a̸̺̿́̆̈́͑n̸̞̐͑̑.”
Alfred could not understand the sounds the other man had just made. He blinks in confusion and clears his throat to hide his nerves.
“What?” asking for clarification.
“Ah, I am sorry. My accent is very thick. My name, to translate it into something you would understand, is Ivan.”
Alfred rolled the name around on his tongue. He offers him a kind smile.
“Cool!”
They arrive at the grocery store. The doors had just opened and it was full of elderly people and tired moms. Alfred hopes the lines aren’t too long, he really doesn’t want to be late, who knows what his boss will say.
“C’mon. We’re here for one thing.” Alfred motions Ivan to follow and he does. The grocery store was just like any other.
Full of food, noises, smells, bright lights. Ivan hates this place. The demon follows Alfred a little too closely. The shorter man can practically feel his body pressed against his own. Damn, he was so touch starved.
“Hey buddy, you think you can take a step back or two?” Stopping in his tracks to confront Ivan about the problem.
“I am here to serve you. I cannot do that if I am far.”
“Yeah, I’m not asking for 6 feet, just a few inches.” Alfred massaged his temples, so this was how the day was going to go, huh?
Ivan thought it over and took a step back.
“Very well then.”
“Thank you.”
The grocery store wasn’t as packed as he thought. Although, because it was only a few days before Christmas he wasn’t sure how likely it was that there were going to be any cute cookies left.
Rushing over to the baked goods sections his eyes zeroed in on the last box of Christmas cookies. A smile curled on his lips that fell just as quickly when he spotted an old woman reaching and then grabbing the box of cookies he so desired.
A look of sadness washed over Alfred; a defeated smile replaced his disappointed frown. Ivan watched as his bright energy seemed to vanish. Something inside of him told him that he needed to do something. They haven’t known each other for very long but the way Alfred has been treating him has been different than the other humans who have summoned him in the past.
The demon has some magic left on reserve for emergencies. Seeing the smile wiped off Alfred’s face was considered an emergency.
A dark aura enveloped Ivan and in an instant he appears in front of the now frightened older woman.
“You are not worthy of those cookies. Your mortal hands are unfit to hold possession of the power and responsibility they yield. Put them down and you shall not be harmed.” Ivan’s pitch was lower than Alfred has ever heard. The man just stared in shocked with his jaw dropped as the older woman practically threw them back on the table and went off speeding as fast as she could with her cart.
Ivan immediately went back to his human form. He picked up the mostly intact cookies and brought them to Alfred.
“For you.” He says, moving his hand up to Alfred’s face to shut his open mouth.
Alfred’s eyes were still wide.
“W-Why did you scare her like that? It was important but not that important she probably shit herself!”
“You are very crass. I did it for you.”
Alfred was upset but the action was very endearing. The way the black aura shrouded Ivan was pretty hot. Wait, why was thinking that? He needed to stop.
“Thank you. That was really nice of you. But you can’t scare old ladies like that! Maybe next time, ask her if she’s willing to give them up. You’ve probably traumatized her for life.”
“It does not seem like she had much time left.” Ivan said with complete seriousness. Alfred elbowed Ivan trying not to laugh.
“Alright! Let’s go pay for this bad boy.”
“Why must we pay? We fought for this, we won. We deserve to keep the spoils.”
“That’s not how it works, big guy.” Alfred claps the taller man on the shoulder as he leads them to the cash register.
“By the way. You gotta show me that magic trick you did earlier with the old lady.”
“Magic?”
“Yeah! Like did you have some smoke bombs? A voice changer?” Alfred’s eyes sparkle never taking his eyes off Ivan as he pays.
“I am a demon.”
“I see. A magician never reveals his secrets.” Alfred nods in understanding. “Artie’s the same way! He never thought we could see him practicing. But he wore this goofy cape everywhere.”
They talk as they make their way back to the car. Ivan opens the passenger door like a pro. The cookies seated safely on Ivan’s lap as they continue to talk.
“Artie?” he asks, the name tumbling clumsily on his lips.
“Yeah! My cousin Arthur. Yeah! He’s the one I got the book from that had the recipe of the cookies you ate.”
Ivan felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Alfred seemed nice enough, but he simply cannot believe that he is a demon and that Alfred summoned him. He needed to save his strength and peace of mind and just played along.
“Come with me to the office Christmas party? We get a plus one and since you’re already with me, and since we’re already on our way.”
“Yes.” There were too many things in Alfred’s sentence that flew over his head and it was just easier to accept them. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.
They park by a plain building with grey brick, the parking lot covered in the fresh snow that was falling. Getting out of the car, Ivan vowed to protect these Christmas cookies with his life. He would ensure their safety until they arrived at their destination: The Break Room.
Alfred pressed a button, and they entered the elevator. He saw Ivan flinch and took his hand to calm him. Ivan’s shoulders dropped as he took a breath; he was grateful for the hand. The hand was soft and warm against his. The elevator bell dinged, and Alfred let go much to Ivan’s disappointment. Both of them stepped out and into Alfred’s workplace.
The shorter man greeted a few of his co-workers as he wore a friendly smile making his way over to the break room. His boss was there already, telling a story clearly no one wanted to hear.
“Look who made it on time for once, huh?” As he laughed. Ivan saw Alfred twitch and the demon narrowed his eyes at the small man. The party had plenty of treats and goodies. With more than enough cookies.
“Oh, I thought you asked me to get the cookies?” Alfred asked through gritted teeth.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I figured you wouldn’t so I asked Martina to bake some instead. Sorry, completely slipped my mind.” Alfred wanted to kill him. He has never wanted to murder someone so badly.
“I mean you’re not exactly the brightest, which is fine, we all have our strengths.”
Ivan has no clue what is happening, but he knows Alfred is not as stupid or forgetful as this man is making him seem. From what he has seen Alfred is kind, generous, and patient. Qualities he does not see from most mortals.
“Just let this be a lesson for ya, okay?” walking over to Alfred and putting a hand on his shoulder. Alfred was visibly uncomfortable. Ivan snapped. It didn’t matter if it used up the last of his power in getting home. The black aura returned along with blue flames. Horns protruded from his head as dark wings ripped through the back of his shirt. Wings that expanded the entire length of the break room.
“How dare you say such things when you are nothing but a miserable pile of waste. You are a pitiful excuse for a mortal. You are a worm beneath my feet and the feet of the one who summoned me.”
Ivan stomps over to the shaking manager and effortlessly picks the man up by the throat. The manager struggles in his grip. The employees gasp and watch with shocked expressions.
“You will show some respect and reverence to those who deserve it since you are only the dirt under my foot.” Ivan drops the man with a thud and the manager wriggles away and hides behind the other employees. Alfred stands tall as Ivan turns to him and reverts to his human form. Ivan lets out a heavy sigh as Alfred wraps his arms around the other man and kisses him. Ivan doesn’t know what this means but his human form seems to know instinctively to kiss back.
They break it and Ivan sweeps Alfred off his feet and picks him up bridal style. Alfred laughs and wraps his arms around his neck. Ivan goes to leave but Alfred stops him for a moment.
“Also. I quit. Merry Christmas, bitch!”
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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years
Text
Stuck in the Middle with You
Bakugo X Reader
Reader is a closet couponer and when word started spreading that there was going to be a mandatory quarantine to fend off a virus you weren't worried. You had enough supplies to last for months. However it wasn't until now that you realized you had no idea how to cook and you relied on take out and fast food for most of your meals. The only person who knew about your crazy couponing habit was Bakugo, so when he called and asked if he could raid your stash you got an idea.
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You scrolled through your phone on your way home. Every headline was about the rising death toll of some crazy new virus making its way across the world. Work had sent everyone home until further notice and you couldn't stop the anxiety from bubbling up in your stomach. Logically you knew you were fine. You were a very clean and healthy person not to mention the fact that you had a secret stash of goods in your basement that you had from couponing.
You didn't tell people about you little hobby because you knew how it looked. Most people think couponers are cheap crazy people who just enjoy hoarding random stuff. Well jokes on them, because now you can go home and not have to risk your life over a roll of toilet paper at the store.
The only person who knew about your hoard was Bakugo. He had stumbled upon it one night when you had hosted movie night for you and all of your friends. You had sworn him to secrecy but naturally he made sure to make fun of you before returning to your friends upstairs. Shortly after that anytime Bakugo would find himself near your office he’d make a point to drop off any coupons he had collected since seeing you last. He always had something mean to say when he dropped them off. But you knew it was just his way to show he cared.
You weren't a hero like the rest of them but you had all gone to UA. You had just taken a different path after graduation. You decided hero work just wasnt for you and went back to school. You had decided to go into forensic psychology instead. Your quirk allowed you to read peoples minds, but only in fragments. Sometimes it was hard to piece together what it all meant, especially if you didn’t know them personally. So you gave up the flashy cape and now work behind a desk.
You went down to the basement to take inventory of your stash of goods and tried to estimate how long it would last. If you were smart about it you could definitely spread it out over a few months. No that you anticipated it would take that long. You were halfway up the steps back to the main level of the house when you stopped short... You had no idea how to cook.... Sure a lot of it was no brainer stuff. Dump it from the can into a bowl, pop it on the stove or microwave and done. But that was only going to get you so far. You had relied way too heavily on fast food the past few years. You had never felt the need to learn how to cook. You guess you could always look up Youtube tutor-
“Burn baby burn! Disco inferno! Burb baby burn!” You phone began to ring a very specific ringtone that was assigned to one very specific person. Disco inferno continued to blare as you got an excellent idea.
“Bakugo! What do I have the pleasure of this phone call?”
You could practically hear him role his eyes at you, “Save it shrink, I need some stuff for this dumbass quarantine but there's no fucking way I’m going to the grocery store. We both know I’d end up blowing something up.”
You tried to hide your giggles at the mental image of Bakugo fighting a middle aged women over bottled water. “So you called me? Why?”
You knew exactly why he was calling. And he knew, that you knew why he was calling. You just wanted to hear him ask nicely for once. He groaned and took a deep breath, “Listen here idiot. I know you have tons of shit in that basement of yours. I also know I personally provided several coupons that contributed to that hoard of yours.”
“So? You think that means you are entitled to some of it then?”
“WHAT?! NO! I’m just... shit y/n I’m just asking if I can come pick up some essentials. I’ll even pay you for it.... please?”
You giggled, “I’m just messing with you Bakugo. Of course you can come get some stuff... but on one condition.”
You heard him sigh and mutter something under his breath, “What do you need?”
Your grin grew from ear to ear, “Oh nothing big... I just need you to teach me how to cook...”
The phone was silent for a few moments, “You don't know how to cook? THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU STASH ALL OF THOSE GROCERIES?!”
You rolled your eyes, “Can you help me or not?”
He scoffed, “Y/n were supposed to be quarantined... I can’t exactly hang out at your house and teach you how to cook. That is something that takes time.”
“Okay so come get your stuff and in exchange when ever you make something FaceTime me and walk me through it...”
“Are you really that bad of a cook?”
You chewed on your lip, a nasty habit you did when you were stressed out, “YES! okay.. I mean I actually dont know. I’ve never actually tried. I practically live off starbucks, take out, and the cafeteria at my office building...”
“....Fine. I’ll be there in 10 minuets.”
He hung up before you could thank him.
You went ahead and went up to your room to change out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable. You hated the formal attire you were forced to wear and usually stripped down the second the front door was closed behind you. Down to a tank top and leggings you strolled back downstairs just in time to hear a knock at the door.
You pulled the door open to a grumpy looking Bakugo who came prepared with a box to put his supplies in. “Alright let’s get this over with. follow me downstairs.”
He pushed past you, “I don’t need your help thanks. I have enough cash to cover for anything I’ll take. I need go get back home soon before they decide to lock us down.”
You rolled your eyes as you followed him down to the basement, “I already told you, you dont have to pay me. Just make sure I dont starve. And what do you mean lockdown?”
Bakugo placed his box on a table and started loading it up with canned goods, toilet paper, water, and whatever else he needed. “Yeah dumbass lockdown. Have you not been watching the news? They’re considering making it mandatory that everyone stay inside until further notice. No exceptions.”
You bit your lip, “Well surely that doesn’t apply to you right? You’re a hero. You have hero shit to do. There’s no way they’d force you to stay locked up.”
He growled, “Yeah you’d think. But with mandatory lockdown crime will go down. They may need some people to help enforce it but that's more like police work. I think their exact words were, ‘a sick hero isn't good for anything’ or something like that. So unless they really need us they’d prefer us to sit out asses at home and stay healthy.”
You bit your lip even harder. You hadn't known is was that serious. You thought everyone was just trying to be cautious but now it felt... kind of scary. You would be stuck here, all alone, by yourself. No one here but you. No where to go. No one to listen, no one to help. Sure you had practically raised yourself. You had lived off of whatever you could microwave since you were a child. Oh shit you didnt want to think about that. Not now. You had a tendency to spiral when you thought about your childhood. You couldnt do that now, not with Bakugo standing in the same room. Your mind was spinning you didnt even notice Bakugo talking to you.
He would have been irritated but you honestly looked upset, even a little pale if he was being honest. He gently took your elbow in his hand and gave it a good squeeze, “Earth to Y/n. Hello anyone home.”
You squeezed your eyes shut for a brief moment before returning to reality, “I dont even know how to make coffee.”
Bakugo gave you a weird look. He knew you tended to be a worrier by nature but you seemed like you were about to crack. “Well if you hurry up maybe I can show you before I leave. But I’m serious when I say I’m leaving in 10 minutes regardless.”
You followed him back upstairs and into the kitchen in a daze. You could feel the spiral forming. You could feel your head growing fuzzy as your heart thumped in your chest. You made it to the top of the steps when Bakugo’s phone buzzed. He answered it all the while staring at you. He could see something was wrong. You looked like you were about to faint. You knew he was talking to someone but you couldn’t hear what he was saying over the loud thoughts in your head.
You started to slump to the floor and leaned back against the refrigerator. This was it. You were officially having a panic attack. In front of Bakugo of all people. Before you knew it Bakugo was on his knees in front of you. He took your face in his hands. His tone was very soft and comforting, but his words couldn't reach your ears.
His thumb softly wiped the silent tears that were now flowing down your cheeks. You hadn't even known you were crying. Your heart continued to race as your brain did it's best to convince you that you were dying. Finally he leaned in and kissed you. It wasnt passionate or sloppy. Just a hard, firm press of his lips against yours.
Then the clouds started to fade away. You usually never used your quirk on your friends but you couldn’t help it. You were hit with a fragment of his consciousness and all you saw was an article on panic attacks. He had googled this at some point. He had read an article on what to do if someone had a panic attack. Your heart rate slowed and your breathing slowly evened out.
His hands remained cupped around your cheeks as his red eyes bore into your and watched as you came back to yourself. “Y/n nod your head if you can hear me.” You nodded your head and he eyes melted with relief. “Are you okay? I mean duh your not okay but you know what I mean...” You nodded again. He took a huge breath and pulled you to him in a comforting embrace. “Alright dumbass just try to match your breathing to mine... let me know when you're good or whatever.”
He was trying to sound irritated but you knew he was just trying to protect his tough guy reputation. After a few minutes of you leaning into him you started to blush. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I’m mortified.” You pushed him away slightly and leaned back against the wall. “You shouldn’t have had to see me like that. I’m usually better at... you know...” You rubbed your arm nervously and bit into your already sore lip.
He continued to observe you like you were about to shatter, “Well I wasnt going to leave you hyperventilating on the floor. I’m a hero. I’m pretty sure I could lose my license for that.”
You smirked and stood up on wobbly legs. “Well thanks... that was actually the quickest I’ve come out of one of those. Whatever you looked up worked.”
It was now his turn to blush. “How did you know I looked it up?”
You shrugged, “I saw it. Well a piece of it. You know how it is. Bits and pieces... so is that why you uh.... you know?”
Bakugo stood up and collected his phone from where he had dropped it, “Uh yeah... I remembered seeing it on some dumb tv show but I wasnt sure if it was true or not....” He looked with a weird look of concern but also annoyance, “Look you dont have to talk about it... but if you want to.... I'm here for you.”
You stepped closer and gave him a hug, “Thanks. You’re too sweet. But it’s a long story and you should probably head home before you end up stuck here.”
He put his hand on your forehead and pushed you away. “Oi I meant it when I said I was here for you damnit!” He turned around and continued on his quest to make coffee. “Besides I can’t really leave anyways...”
Your eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. “What do you mean you cant leave?”
He kept his back to you as he looked through the cabinets for a coffee maker. “Well you know that phone call I got right before you freaked out. It was my boss letting me know that mandatory lockdown is in place as of now.” When you didn’t answer he turned to look at you, “He also informed me that someone from my apartment building tested positive, so I really cant go home.” 
You nodded at him before going to the cabinet that held your coffee maker that had never even been out of the box. “Okay.”
Bakugo took the box from your hands with a cautious look, “Okay? OKAY! You literally just had a fucking melt down over the fact that we were going into lockdown and now your just..... OKAY!” 
You shrugged as you went to the refrigerator to pull our a bottle of water. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You took a few  gulps of water before returning your attention to his confused face, “Not that yelling at me is helping by the way...”
His cheeks reddened just slightly before he narrowed his eyes, “So we’re stuck together huh?” 
You sighed, “Looks like it....”
He growled, “Fuck my life...”
You crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m not exactly thrilled either alright.” 
He shook his head and started pulling out pots and pans, “How do you like your pancakes?”
Your eyebrows furrowed, “What?”
“Are you def or just stupid. If we’re going to be stuck here then I want breakfast for dinner. So I will ask one more time... How do you like your fucking pancakes?”
You bit your lip, “With chocolate chips please...” 
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