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#and I think it’s fucking stupid that that was a thing that started happening at all
gglitch1dd · 3 days
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Anger and Misunderstandings Pt2 of 2
DILF Midoriya Izuku x Wifey Reader
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Context: An anon had asked me what if we had Angry Dilf Izuku but one of his kids disrespected reader, like what happened with angry Dilf Katsuki. Sorry for losing your question Anon.
[PART 1 OF 2] [Midoriya Izuku Masterlist]
This was a very interesting one to write considering the fact that Izuku grew up with basically a single mother and we’ve never seen him seriously punish the boys..
Note: Disrespect, previous arguments, angst, effects of bullying and feeling left out. Happy ending.
"YOU SAID WHAT TO MOM AND DAD?!"
Asahi winced as he sighed. He put his head in his hands. "I know."
"No I think you DON'T know." Toshinori emphasised as he stood in front of his younger brother, Kane at his side, standing as a mediator with his hands in his pockets. The blond teenager was also surprised by the events that Asahi had just expressed. Toshinori sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "And this is why we need to start beating kids again." Kane let out a humoured scoff. "And you've been here how long?"
They sat in their grandmother's apartment, Inko having gone out to buy groceries. Asahi lifted his head up to look at his brother. "A week." He revealed. "Mom came to pick me up Sunday night but I told Obaasan that I wanted to stay with her for longer so she told mom she'd look after me."
Toshinori nodded. "Okay, that might be the smartest thing you did in the past three months." He answered. Toshinori put his hands together. "Forgive me brother, but I have to be blunt with you." He warned as he took a step forward closer to his brother. He took off his slipper and raised it. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING!?" He swatted his brother in the head with his slipper.
"OW!" Asahi raised his arms to protect himself from his antics.
"WHO THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE TALKING TO!? YOU SWORE AT MOM!? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?! AND HOW THE HELL COULD YOU SAY THAT TO DAD!! FOR THE SMARTEST KID I KNOW YOU SURE DO STUPID THINGS! YOU DUFUS!" Toshinori shouted as he swatted his brother with his slipper hard.
"OW! CAN YOU CUT IT OUT!"
"DID YOU CUT IT OUT WHEN MOM ASKED YOU TO!? NO!" Toshinori shouted back at him with a pointed look. "IF MOM AND DAD WON'T BEAT YOUR ASS, I'LL DO IT FOR THEM!"
"OW! THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU HAVE ONE FOR ALL, YOU CAN KILL ME YOU KNOW!"
Toshinori scoffed as he slapped his brother on the back side of the head. "Mom and dad won't mind! They can always just make another son!" He shouted.
Kane let it happen for a few seconds, feeling that it was rightfully deserved. You were the closest thing to a mother to him, and so rightfully so, he thought Asahi deserved a good beating, but maybe that was the Bakugou in him talking. "Alright Toshinori. The little shit gets the drift." He stated putting a hand to Toshinori's shoulder.
Toshinori huffed as he stopped his assault on his brother, putting down his slipper and slipping it back onto his foot. Asahi carefully lowered his arms, seeing that he was in the clear. He put back on his glasses with a frown at having to undergo such assault
Toshinori scowled down at his brother in disappointment. "What possessed you to speak to mom that way?" He asked lowly. "She does nothing but give her everything for us. She devouts her entire life to her sons and here you are treating her like trash." Asahi looked down away from his brother swallowing down the heavy pill as he fought back tears. "And I don't think you understand just how goddamn lucky you are."
Asahi paused as he flicked his gaze up to his seventeen year old brother. His eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"Asahi." Toshinori let out a breath. He tried to find the words for it. "I don't think you understand just how much dad loves mom." He tried to explain to his younger brother. "Now don't get me wrong, dad loves us to bits. He'd do anything for us. But dad is the terrifying ability to cut off all emotions when it comes to certain people and Uncle Kacchan and our grandfather were two of those people." He listed on two of his fingers, Kane nodding in agreement. "Dad arguably loves mom more than he loves us. Who can blame him? Dad has known mom for over two decades but he is just getting to know you and who you are becoming. Honestly, I expected a harsher punishment than just 'go stay at grandmas' but I think we both know that that's even more painful."
Asahi looked away from Toshinori not wanting to aknowledge it. Half of Asahi wished that you and his father had just done something, anything else, but send him away was another sort of pain he wasn't sure how to digest. That his dad couldn't bring himself to be around him for a day because of the things he said, it was a terrifying realisation.
Toshinori sighed as his shoulders dropped. "Now tell me why on earth did you disrespect mom." His younger brother didn't answer immediately. "Boy, I will pick up my slipper and-"
"Because it's not fair!" Asahi burst out.
Kane's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Huh, it worked." He let out surprised.
Toshinori's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's not fair?"
"Life!" He shouted. "Do you know how it's like to be the youngest kid in your grade and be quirkless? People think I'm some weirdo at school!" He motioned to the side. "Kids don't want to be my friends and if they do, it's because I'm the Number One hero's son not because I'm me!" He motioned to himself as fat Midoriya tears fell from his eyes. "I hate it! I can never fit in no matter how hard I try! And it doesn't help that mom and dad are so fixated on you!"
His older brother raised his green eyebrows up in confusion. "On me?"
"Of course you!" Asahi shouted. "You're the eldest son of the Number One hero of Japan! You have dad's quirk! You are constantly praised and upheld as this miracle child and you're so much like dad it leaves me (and I'm not sure about the others) in your shadow!"
Toshinori paused before letting out a chuckle at how rich this was. he put a hand to his face. Asahi paused as he looked up at his brother in shock that he was laughing at him. "Oh you must be kidding, Asahi. I'm the eldest! I'm the experiment child! You don't want to be me."
"Of course I'd want to be you!"
"NO!" Toshinori now adamently denied with a pointed look. "No you don't. Asahi..." He took a moment chuckling to himself, deciding to be transparent here. "I don't think you understand, I have nothing, absolutely nothing other than One for All." He stressed, his face falling of all humour. "You think you want to be me? My entire existence was based off the fact that I was expected to take dad's place as the Number One hero. I'm lucky that I wanted to be a hero but that's also because I've got nothing! I'm not smart enough to get into a good university degree, I'm not passionate enough about anything else to work at it to be good enough to earn a living for myself. All I have is this passed on quirk and the entire legacy of our father resting on my shoulders."
Asahi froze as he looked at his older brother. Toshinori looked at him with glossy eyes but he didn't shed a tear, he just frowned as he looked at Asahi. Kane took a step forward and put a hand to Toshinori's shoulder.
It snapped the other teen out of his daze as he sniffed and straightened up his posture, he put a smile to his face, hiding whatever baggage he held over his head.
"But you..." He motioned over to Asahi. "Man, you should hear the way mom and dad talk about you. The way they praise you. Dad had to spend hours talking to deans in universities around this country to give you a shot and prove how smart you were and that he wasn't just trying to use his name to get you special privileges. Mom always tells her friends about how one day you're gonna do something extraordinary." Toshinori was being honest with his younger brother. "You are more like dad than I could ever be. If he had never been a hero, he probably would have been just like you. So smart and talented without needing to be a hero to prove his worth, which is what he hopes for you."
Toshinori let out a shaky breath as he chuckled.
"So how about you get off your sorry butt and we head back home and you apologise, hm? I'm sure mom would make a good katsudon too! Hopefully dad wouldn't eat it all by the time we-"
Toshinori stopped talking as he looked down at his younger brother who had his arms wrapped around him. Asahi had ditched his glasses and had buried his face in his chest. "Thanks Toshi." He let out lowly.
Toshinori scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Okay, okay, no need to turn into a sappy piece of brocolli. I didn't do anything."
"He really didn't. He beat you more than he did anything productive." Kane expressed.
Toshinori glared at his best friend. "And why are you even here?"
Kane shrugged. "Just had to make sure you didn't kill your brother. As your mothers favourite son, I can't sit back and let that happen."
"Are you, as a Bakugou, really telling me that your my mom's favourite?"
Kane ignored ignored Toshinori as he looked down at Asahi. His crimson eyes were gentle despite the fact that he always seemed rather monotonous in expression. "Asahi, let me give you a piece of advice." He started. "As someone without a mother and a present father, you are very lucky." He expressed. "Truly. Don't take that for granted."
Toshinori and Asahi glanced at each other before looking at Kane. "Kane, do you need therapy or something?" Toshinori asked. "Like seriously, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Because I swear I've never seen you smile in more than three years."
"CAN WE FOCUS ON THE REASON WHY WE ARE HERE PLEASE?!"
You sat outside reading a book as Koda and Shoyo tried feeding the bunnies. Your two youngest sons, five and seven, were hand in hand as Shoyo tried to teach his younger brother how to do it. Your husband held you back against him as the both of you sat in the hanging cushioned seat. His eyes were closed as he held you against his chest, quiet.
You turned to look up at him, hickeys littered his neck. You kissed his jaw making his green eyes fluttered open. He looked down at you before giving you a gentle smile. He let out a hum as he tightened his arms around you and kissed your neck.
You ran a hand through his curls with a chuckle. "Tired, Mr Midoriya?" You asked him amusedly.
"Only if you go back upstairs with me." He gave the condition that made you giggle.
You gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. "Please." You let out in disbelief. "We have spent more than enough time in the bedroom today." You reminded him.
"Not nearly enough, in my opinion." You felt his lips move down to your own. You couldn't help but smile at the kiss, glad he was having a good time this fine evening as the sun began to set. You kissed him back.
"Mom! Dad!" You both turned to see Hero standing at the sliding door. "Look who's here!"
Stepping from behind Hero was your eldest son as well as his best friend. You smiled. "Toshinori! Kane! Hello boys." You waved at the two of them, not having seen them in person in the past few weeks. However, peaking out from behind was Asahi. Your eyebrows raised in surprise, not having heard from Inko to come and pick him up.
"HI MOM!" Toshinori waved over to you as he came down the steps of the patio to the garden. He walked over to you and bent down to kiss your head. "Evening dad."
"Hey kiddo." Izuku smiled, giving his son a fist bump. "How's school?"
"Fine. Uncle Shinso says hi by the way. Also, what's on your neck?" Toshinori's eyes went into a glare aimed at his father.
You giggled as you turned your attention to Kane. Kane stopped not too far away but his crimson eyes were on you. "Hello Kane." You stood up from where you were seated on top of Izuku.
"Evening, Aunty Y/N." He greeted you with a gentle smile.
You walked up to the now tall boy. Just like Toshinori, he was now taller than you and much bigger too. You put your hands to cup his face making him visibly ease. "Look at you, you're so tall now. How's training been?"
His gaze softened as he eased into your touch. "Just fine." He told you gently. The blond boy was like a son to you and you smiled, happy to know you could support him.
"Can you help me by bringing Shoyo and Koda inside? It's getting dark."
He nodded his head. "Of course, anything for you." He answered honestly, moving to go fetch your two youngest.
You smiled before turning to head back inside, ignoring Toshinori and Izuku's bickering about how much touch was too much, regarding you. You entered your house as you walked to the kitchen. You checked on dinner that was in the two ovens. The smell of lasagne wafted through your kitchen making you smile.
"Mom..." You paused as you turned around to where Asahi was. Fourteen year old son stood by the island counter, his eyes downcasted as he refused to look at you. You noticed that his hands were shaking as he stopped, keeping his distance away from you. "Mom I'm... I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean- I mean I did mean but I didn't intend to hurt you. I just... I hate school and it's been so rough for me and then there's you and dad and Toshinori and it's all just-"
This was the first time you saw your son so emotional. Sometime before the age of eight, Asahi turned rather analytical and fact based. You knew it was just his personality and whenever he did need to talk, he would come to you and talk, but now... now here he was, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to apologise to you.
"And I know dad won't forgive me and I don't blame him but please... please don't give up on me." He finished, closing his eyes.
You gave him a sad smile as you put down your oven mitts and walked over to your second eldest son. You carefully cupped his face in your hands making his eyes open to look at you. You wiped his big tears from his face as you looked down at him. "Asahi, if there's one thing about your father that I know, is that he has a very big heart. Families fight and argue, me and your father do it to, but if there's one things we don't do, is give up on each other. Sometimes we need space but we'll come back stronger. So it's okay." You whispered as you smiled down at him. You saw him try to fight back a sob but you just took off his glasses and pulled him into a hug. You pat his back the same way you used to when he was a baby and that was when the flood gates opened.
You silently chuckled. Midoriya's and their tears.
"Dad."
Izuku was still outside when everyone had gone inside to set the table and get ready for dinner. Izuku turned to look at Asahi. He turned back forward to look at the dark garden. The bunnies hopped into their rabbit house safe from the fears of outside. Angelica-Nina's daughter, just as fiesty as her mom, sat in his lap, her dark black ears with white tips were laying against her back as she loafed herself on Izuku's lap.
Asahi took a deep breath as he walked over to where his father sat on the steps of the patio. "Dad I..." He wasn't even sure where to start. His father's presence had never felt so imposing like now. He swallowed down hard, mustering up the courage. "I know I disappointed you and I'm sorry. What I did and said to you and mom was horrible. I just... it's been so hard at school. I don't have any friends there and I guess trying to fit in made me forget my values. I know that's not an excuse and I'm sorry. I really am. I... I can understand if you're angry at me and if you'd want me to continue staying at Obaasan's place, and Toshinori said I should prepare for a slipper to the head from you as well and-"
"Asahi." The sound of his name from his father made him stop.
Izuku motioned down next to him, tapping the space next to him. Asahi silently listened as he walked over to his father slowly. He sat down beside him. Izuku looked up at the sky and the few stars that sprinkled the sky since they were so close to the city.
Izuku drew in a breath. "I remember many years ago, when I was actually your age, I made my mother cry. And not out of worry or happiness." He revealed. Asahi stared up at him with wide eyes. "All my life until high school, I was quirkless. I was treated below the rejects and I had no friends in school after the age of seven. When I was fourteen a new phone had just came out that I wanted because everyone else was getting it.
The bullying seemed to only get worse considering the fact that I was not as well off as the other kids. So I asked your grandma if I could get that new phone. She said no, because we didn't have the money for it. She was a single mother that had to provide for her and her son. I got angry, mostly due to the fear of being left out. I shouted at her and screamed about how I just wanted to be like the other kids. I will never forget the look on my mother's face when I stopped speaking."
Asahi looked up at his dad seeing something in his eyes he rarely saw. Regret and anger turned at himself. Izuku was always close with his mother so the thought of him actually shouting at her seemed something so out of character of him. "Then... then what happened."
Izuku sighed. "She got me that phone a month later, at the expense of her own self of course." He revealed. "However, I found the receipt and returned it the very next day untouched. It wasn't worth the pain of the one person who loved me." Izuku turned to Asahi, looking down at his son with a gentle smile. "I get it, and I'm sorry that you have to go through that Asahi." He put a hand to his son's back. "I'm sorry that you've been feeling so lonely, but the way you spoke to me and your mother was not okay. You understand that?"
"Yes."
"Good. That's all we've got to sort out. Your mother and I will put you in a new school if you really want." Asahi's eyes widened in surprise. "You're a smart kid so the time you're out of school you can catch up in no time."
Taking Izuku by surprise, his fourteen year old son hugged him. "Dad." Asahi let out muffled. "You're a good dad."
It took Izuku a moment but his gaze softened as he put his arm around Asahi and squeezed. "Thank you."
-Glitch1d
*pushes away the Midoriya family adopting Kane one-shot to the back*
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diorsluv · 2 days
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feather , the drama queen
“ i say she’s too dramatic ”
series m. list
( socialmedia!au )
yourusername
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liked by lhughes_06, missseraphina and 310,937 others
yourusername photo dump time 🗣️🗣️
guess who ran into connor bedard at the family function 😱 he was looking at me weird n shit cuz me and mark were cosplaying as rapunzel and flynn rider
also i love taking screenshots of my bf and his goofy brothers when they look stupid!
tagged: lhughes_06, markestapa, _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, masonmctavish23, _connorbedard
view all comments
jamie.drysdale where did you find that pic of us.
→ yourusername use ur common sense
→ trevorzegras this feels like a violation
→ yourusername it is! ☺️
_connorbedard i was looking at you weird because you are weird.
→ yourusername awww cmon ur no fun 😔 we all know im ur favorite relative
→ _connorbedard we’re not related.
→ jamie.drysdale oh my god not even your cousin loves you yourusername
→ yourusername SHUT UP JAMIE
→ _connorbedard WE’RE. NOT. COUSINS?????
→ trevorzegras breaking news!!! bedsy and jamie are related 😱😱
→ _connorbedard my finger is hovering over the block button
username44 funny that she posts this RIGHT NOW..
→ username10 they all have her blocked they don’t know anything
trevorzegras WHEN THERES SOMETHING STRANGE
→ yourusername IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
→ _quinnhughes aw that sounds just like the two of you
→ luca.fantilli WHO YOU GONNA CALL
→ rutgermcgroarty GHOSTBUSTERS!
→ adamfantilli 👻👻👻
→ yourusername quinn YOU’RE the strange looking thing in the neighborhood 🤬 _quinnhughes
→ jackhughes flashbacks to when that little kid got scared when he opened the door
→ _quinnhughes oh my god I WAS WEARING A COSTUME
username79 did anyone else notice who liked the post…
→ username3 good lord she’s back
luca.fantilli it seems war is NOT over 😔
→ yourusername ????
→ dylanduke25 luca i thought you had her blocked smh
→ luca.fantilli how’d you know who i was talking about unless you didn’t have her blocked either???
→ yourusername …
_quinnhughes everyone’s gonna start calling me depressed now 😐
→ yourusername sweetie they’ve been calling you depressed keep up
→ _quinnhughes 😨
→ jackhughes 😱
→ lhughes_06 🤯
dylanduke25 let’s give me the credit for that costume idea!
→ yourusername you told me to dress up as mother gothel.
→ dylanduke25 out of love 🤗
→ markestapa YOU TOLD ME TO DRESS LIKE THE FUCKING HORSE.
→ lhughes_06 HEY MAXIMUS IS A GREAT CHARACTER
edwards.73 why is mark at the family function 🤨
→ yourusername his mama wanted to come 😈
→ markestapa that’s a lie she forced me to come because i was the only one willing to dress up as flynn rider for her
→ edwards.73 …why are you dressing up in costumes at the family function?????
→ yourusername THE KIDS ALWAYS DO A LITTLE COSTUME PLAY CONTEST THING
→ jamie.drysdale she made me dress up as the lorax when we were in middle school
→ yourusername stop complaining i was literally mr o’hare
→ jamie.drysdale AND THEN YOU MADE ME LORD FARQUAD THE YEAR AFTER THAT
→ yourusername 🙄🙄
→ trevorzegras pics or it didn’t happen.
lhughes_06 you really snuck that cute ass pic of you thinking we wouldn’t notice
→ yourusername ew i hate you
→ lhughes_06 you love me
→ yourusername 🙄
→ lhughes_06 say it ☹️
→ yourusername 🥱
→ jackhughes PLEASE JUST SAY IT ALREADY I CANT STAND HIS WHINING
→ yourusername no can do jacky boy 😓
→ lhughes_06 you little shit
→ yourusername luv u too 😒😒
username10 connor looks so done
username98 quinn has never had a good pic of himself posted by any of his friends 💀
mackie.samo I COULDVE BEEN FLYNN RIDER WHY DIDNT U ASK ME
→ yourusername i asked mark first 😓
→ markestapa HAH take that
colecaufield i took that second photo 😒
→ yourusername our lovely backup photographer 🫶🫶
→ lhughes_06 your quality is kinda ass
→ colecaufield BRO i took it on your phone???
missseraphina
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liked by yourusername and 202 others
missseraphina i know you miss me, bc why else would you have texted me last night? 🥰
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username24 oh babe.. that’s not…..
username8 girly this is a bit obsessive don’t you think? 😭
username61 he’s taken. TAKEN.
username82 yesss girl get your man back!!
→ username40 …as in the one that’s in a relationship rn??
username77 sweetie just find someone else already
username95 I THOUGHT THEY ALL BLOCKED HER but lil drizz just liked the post what
→ yourusername it gave me a good laugh what can i say
username43 they’re making an absolute mockery out of her
username20 LMFAOOO
username18 don’t tell me she’s still going on with ts 😭😭
username55 but let’s think about it.. she wouldn’t have posted this unless he actually texted her
username39 it’s bc he still wants u 😝😝
→ username14 i KNOW you’re not talking about luke hughes 💀
yourusername
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liked by adamfantilli, jamie.drysdale, dylanduke25, and 347,252 others
yourusername oh girl you’re obsessed 🥱
view all comments
username90 HELL YEAH we’re back on the drama train
jamie.drysdale i thought i told you to block her 😑
→ yourusername I DID but then all my friends were telling me abt the shit she was posting and i couldn’t resist 😞😞
mackie.samo you’re so petty
→ yourusername aw cmon mack you know you love my pettiness 🤗🤗
→ mackie.samo uh huh i definitely do
→ markestapa bro ur literally pettier than she is
→ mackie.samo give me ONE good example
→ markestapa you blocked me for a week because i said your hair looks like a rat lives in it 😐
→ mackie.samo thanks for the reminder im blocking you again
username10 babe ur feeding into the drama 😭
→ yourusername i know 😈
username34 WHEN SHE PLAYS MULTIPLE INSTRUMENTSSSSS
username28 our multi-talented queen!!
adamfantilli will we ever be done with the couple-y shit 😒
→ yourusername when she’s done obsessing over my man 🫶
→ lhughes_06 what’s that heart for yourusername
→ edwards.73 you’re so possesive luke get over yourself 🙄🙄
→ adamfantilli FR
→ markestapa FR
→ luca.fantilli FR
→ jackhughes FR
→ rutgermcgroarty FR
→ _alexturcotte FR
→ _quinnhughes FR
→ trevorzegras FR
→ dylanduke25 FR
→ jamie.drysdale FR
→ colecaufield FR
→ mackie.samo FR
→ yourusername not again 😭
username88 is she ever gonna go away
luca.fantilli but when you think about it.. luke probably DID text her to provoke that post
→ yourusername LMFAO he would neverrrrr right? lhughes_06
→ lhughes_06 um
→ lhughes_06 i don’t wanna lie to you
→ yourusername oh
→ luca.fantilli oh shit 🤯
→ jamie.drysdale what.
→ markestapa DUDE I THOUGHT YOU BLOCKED HER lhughes_06
→ edwards.73 there’s no fucking way
→ _quinnhughes …
username20 goddamn what happened under luca’s comment 😭😭
username24 holy shit there’s no way luke actually texted her again
username80 oh my god???
notes ) cliffhanger 🙊🙊 yes we’re back but not really (?) this one’s been sitting in the drafts for a while so.. i hope it’s fairly adequate LMAOO
tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys @loveforaugust @cstads-blog @h0e4fictionalme-n @bunting58
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Text
listening to fortnight got me thinking about bakugo and reader having a very brief fling, something that happened in the past during their 20s, but stuck with both of them for years.
i touched you for only a fortnight i touched you, but i touched you
fast forward to living in the same city, the two of you now in your 30s and end up becoming neighbors by happenstance. you're both married to other people since you only talked in shared friend group settings after said fling.
all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february
you watch his wife water her flowers in the garden out back while making coffee in the kitchen every goddamn morning. you have no clue why it irks you so much, that the sight of her stupid smile makes you wanna punch her lights out.
occasionally, you run into bakugo at your mailboxes after a long day at work. small talk is the only thing you two can muster - a comment about the weather or harmless compliments about each other's appearance.
"sure rained like hell yesterday."
"nice sweater, your wife buy it for you?"
"god, it's too fucking hot today."
"that dress looks nice on ya."
one night, both of your spouses are away when a storm comes raging through the city. your power goes out, leaving you in the dark because your stupid husband forgot to replace the generator. from your windows, you see bakugo's household has power and decide to hightail it over for some company.
he answers the door with a confused look on his face. "the fuck you doin' in the rain? get in here!"
bakugo makes you a coffee to share with him in the kitchen, bullshitting through the night like you used to do as twenty somethings. it felt natural, your heart soaring as you watched him laugh and retell jokes from the past. when the conversation died down, you blurted out something you didn't plan to vocalize to anyone.
"i think my husband's cheating. sometimes i just wanna kill the bastard."
caught off guard by your admittance, bakugo quirks an eyebrow at you in response. "little extreme, but i'm sure that could be arranged."
"would be cheaper than a damn divorce. that asshole would take everything from me."
he snickers, taking another sip of his coffee. "think my wife's doin' the same. comes home late and shit, never can tell me why."
"how'd we get stuck with this shit luck?" you retort, forcing a laugh from your tightened chest.
"could be worse. we're neighbors, that's fuckin' lucky for me."
i love you...it's ruining my life.
"oh? i'm starting to think that's not a coincidence anymore."
bakugo sets his mug on the countertop, turning to face you while crossing his arms over the broadness of his chest.
"might'a convinced my wife to move here. thought maybe we could be friends again."
"so you bought a fucking house next to me instead of just calling to go to dinner?" you ask mockingly, a smirk on your face as you awaited his bullshit answer.
he shakes his head with a grin of his own. "sure did."
i love you...it's ruining my life.
"how come you never ask or invite me over then? we're literal neighbors, kats."
"pretty sure my wife's scared of ya. plus, i want time with you, not us."
that makes your heart skip a beat.
"hell of a way to say you miss me." you pause before setting your own cup down on the counter. "i'm glad you're here."
"me too."
right as he's approaching you, the front door swings open.
"babe, i'm home!" his wife calls, handful of shopping bags. she sees you standing in the kitchen aside bakugo - you give her a soft wave.
"oh, hi. i didn't expect company tonight."
"her dumbass husband forgot to replace their generator. just helpin' her out."
she gives him a glare, tilting her chin up at him, almost condescendingly, as she assesses his answer.
"how unfortunate. stay as long as you need, i'm gonna go put this away."
and with that, she leaves for their bedroom to unload her shopping haul. once she's out of earshot, you turn to bakugo and chuckle under your breath.
"oh yeah, she hates me."
bakugo rolls his eyes. "let her be miserable, it's her strong suit. come on, let's go take'a look at that generator."
the generator works just fine, you unplugged it before coming over.
you were curious if there was a spark leftover between you two, only to find the fire was not only stoked, but never fully extinguished.
blasty tags; @slayfics @maddietries @queenpiranhadon @starieq ✨
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myhaikyuuacademia · 3 days
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Totally fake | Ant x Reader (Heartbreak High)
Fake dating, fem!reader A/N: it’s been a while since I watched s1 so forgive me if the timeline is a little wonky. Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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You had no idea how you got yourself in this… situation. In this mess, honestly. Thanks to Amerie, the whole school life had imploded. Thanks a lot, Map Bitch. Now here you were, standing next to her trying to get a ticket for the party as Ant told her about how his mom reacted to the whole Darren wristy thing. Your face twinged up in sympathy. Somehow Quinni and Darren had adopted Amerie into your friendgroup after the whole thing, so here you were, supporting your new friend. Well, it was more like she dragged you along. Moral support or something. Ant ended up telling Ams to go ask Spider and she trudged away disappointed, but you stayed, hesitating. “Um, I’m sorry about your mom.” You offered. What a stupid thing to say, you cursed yourself. Boys made you nervous. “Yeah, it really sucks. I love Jesus and all but going to church 3 more times a week is reaaaaally boring.” He groaned. You began walking to your next class together. “Um.” You started talking before you could think. You were a fixer, it was a whole thing. A pathological need to fix things, which is why you couldn’t really be against Quinni and Darren taking Amerie in, you wanted to help fix this. But sometimes in your need to fix things you went a little overboard. You realized that that was what you were doing after you had already started talking, and now you didn’t know what to say. But being quiet now was also embarrassing. “What’s up?�� Ant stopped and leaned against the doorway of your classroom. Looking at you expectantly. Fuck it. “Maybe I could help.” You looked at him. “With your mom I mean.” He looked confused, his brows furrowing as he tried to figure out what you were proposing. “How?” Taking a deep breath in, you began rambling the plan that had formed in your head in the span of maybe 10 seconds. Which in hindsight, perhaps was a sign that this was a really dumb idea. “Well. I’m assuming your moms problem is that Darren is not a girl. Because you’re Christian and all. Which, I don’t know, not very Christian, ya know? Loving your neighbour and all. But anyway. If her problem is in fact that, I am a very good liar, I know enough about like the bible and stuff, and I happen to be a girl…” You trail off. He looked as confused as he did before you started talking, which, honestly, you figured this would not be enough to get him to understand. It was just too embarrassing to finish. You felt cold all of a sudden. Nervous. Rubbing your arms for warmth, or perhaps in an attempt to rub the nervousness away. “I’m saying I could be your fake girlfriend until she calms down.” You finally huffed out. “Ohhhhhhh” You swore you could almost see the lightbulb that went off above his head. “Gotcha.” He nodded contemplatively. “You’re really smart, y/n, I’m impressed.” Still nodding. You were a little surprised he knew your name. People tended to not know it because you mostly kept to yourself outside of your friendship with Darren and Quinni. And you hadn’t talked to Ant before, like literally ever. Yeah you shared a lot of classes, but he didn’t really seem to pay attention and so far you had never been paired with him for any group work. “Let’s do it.” He grinned, excitedly. “Wait what?” Your eyes widened in surprise. “For real?” You didn’t know what you expected his answer to be, but for some reason you hadn’t prepared yourself for a yes.
“Yeah! I’m in! I only see positives honestly. I get to pretend to date the coolest girl I know and get my mom off my back.” Wait, what did he say? The coolest girl he knows? Huh? You blinked in confusion as he left you standing in front of the open door to go to his seat. Autopilot activated you went to your seat, in between Darren and Quinni. Completely zoned out your eyes trained on Ant who was sitting a couple rows ahead and to your right. “Earth to y/n, repeat Earth to y/n.” A hand was waving in front of your face and you blinked as you turned to Darren. “huh?”. “What’s wrong with you today, space girl?” They asked. “What?” Your brain hadn’t completely caught up yet. “Why were you talking to Ant?” Quinni asked excitedly. Why was she excited? “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to him before.” She mused. Uh. What were you supposed to tell them? Both of them looked at you expectantly. Completely frozen, your brain refused to cooperate. “I.. uh. Amerie. Party. Slapband. You know?” The words were more stuttered out than said, and they did in fact not know what you meant.  Your saviour came in the form of a very out-of-breath Amerie, who was almost late to class, but just almost. She fell into her seat next to Quinni and immediately started babbling about whatever it was she was up to after she had left you and Ant, taking all attention off of you. And if they saw you staring at Ant the whole class, they didn’t say anything. Yet.
By the end of the school day you had bounced back, the whole Ant thing still nagging at a corner of your brain but not at the front anymore. Until you were walking out the school gate with Darren, Quinni and Amerie, that is. “Hey, y/n, Wait up!.” This caught the attention of your more than nosy friends. You stopped and turned around to see Ant jogging up with a stupidly cute grin on his face. “Um, hi, what’s up?” Your face felt unusually flushed. Your friends looked at you like they were vultures and you, and the ensuing gossip that would come from this, their prey. You didn’t need to look at them to know that. “Here.” He held out a slapband. “You don’t have one yet, do you?” “No, I don’t, actually.” You were about to tell him that you were not interested. Partys? Not your thing. But the way he looked at you, and the fact that he got you one and went out of his way to give it to you, rendered you incapable of rejecting it. He was waiting for you to take it, or do something to accept it, so you lifted your arm and held it out in front of him. He slapped it on your arm and you mumbled out a thank you. “No worries, babe.” He leaned in and gave you quick peck on the cheek before he proceeded to wink at you and then leave with a wave and a “See you later!”. You almost dropped to your knees. What the hell just happened. Wide-eyed you looked after him, hand lifting to touch the cheek he had just kissed, legs still awfully wobbly. “BABE?!?!?!” A chorus of awestruck half-yells ripped you out of your moment, seconds before your friends came into view in front of you and crowded you. This was… too much. You gave up trying to keep your legs steady and dropped down to the ground, sitting on your knees, before shifting to sit criss-cross applesauce. “Whoa, shit girl, you okay?” Amerie dropped down next to you. Not trusting your voice you simply nodded yes. “Oh my god, you and Anthony Vaughn?” Darren crouched down next, almost scandalized by what they had just witnessed. “Oh, are we sitting now?” Quinni, bless her, sat down next to you. “Yeah…” You just said, to no one in particular, nodding. “Oh my god, you’re like, a total goner.” Amerie laughed. “I am?” You turned to look at her with puppy-dog eyes. Before this day started, you had never talked to Anthony Vaughn before, and now, before it ended, you were apparently head over heels for him. You blamed it on hormones, or some kind of chemical inbalance in your brain. Because… there was no way, right?
This would make the fake-dating significantly harder, you concluded, after you had time to mull it over. You and your friends had continued sitting on the ground for a good 10 minutes, before you felt stable enough to attempt standing and walking again. Of course they all had a million questions, yelling simultaneously, trying to understand what they had just witnessed. You had no idea what to tell them. “I will tell you once I know.” You end up saying, which leads to more questions. “Seriously guys, not right now.” You couldn’t tell them anything before you lined up stories with Ant. Well, technically you could tell them it was all fake, but they were all huge blabbermouths, and you wanted to check in with Ant first, before doing anything. You hadn’t expected him to just… go and do that. Like, at least you had expected talking to him once, or maybe twice, about what being in a fake relationship entailed, you know, lining up stories, where, what, who, when…. What kind of person his mother was, how far to go, how much to do to make it believable. But now everything had kind of blown up and it had to wait. You didn’t even have his number, you realized, after you were finally alone. The gang had tried to peer-pressure you into making this a whole goss-sesh at the diner, but you managed to worm your way out of it. Now they would probably just do it anyway, but without you to defend yourself. Not that there was anything you could say right now. Frustrated you blew a piece of hair out of your face. This was gonna be one hell of a week.
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skaldish · 12 hours
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Oh my god I just had a horrible realization. It's a really personal one so please bear with me but I need to share it because…Idk, maybe it's not just me.
But I realized. I didn't actually grow up being a part of any culture. I grew up with seeing culture around me, and sometimes participating in culture temporarily, but I was not raised with a cultural identity of any sort whatsoever.
I identify as an American only because I live in the US, not because I'm acculturated American. I only have the cultural senses I have because it just so happened to be what I was surrounded by.
None of the stories told to me, none of the food I ate, and nothing I wore, were used to convey "This is who we are as people" by my family or community. Stories were just for entertainment, food was just for eating, and clothes were just whatever I liked wearing from the department store. These things weren't, in any way, identity, outside of things I could use to express my own personal identity if I wanted to.
Fuck, I wasn't even given the cultural knowledge associated with the class I was raised in. No leadership skills, no business sense, nothing.
"But what about religion?" No religion either. My family has culturally Catholic leanings, but it's residual and unrecognized.
"What about being white?" The fact that I can't describe what "being white" even means—beyond how I've heard it described—goes to show you my expertise in the matter.
"What about subcultures?" I only know how to participate in subcultures as either a spectator or as a guest. No culture has ever identified me as belonging to it, despite welcoming my participation, and I can't consider myself part of cultures if they don't claim me.
In terms of my cultural identity, I'm completely blank. It's like I have no name.
I write all this because I was thinking about why some Scandinavians would be upset at me using "Heathen" (as well as bigger questions of cultural appropriation in general) and came to this realization.
For the record…I don't consider myself Heathen because I identify as part of Scandinavian culture. That would be absurd. I use "Heathen" because I accidentally befriended a Heathen god. Loki hid his identity from me for years, and I was very upset when when he finally told me who he was—I felt like he betrayed me, and also like I was going insane, because my worldview prior to that did not support the existence of gods.
I dug deep into learning about Norse paganism because I knew understanding Loki within his cultural context was vital to understanding who he is. The reason I started digging around in Scandinavian culture directly, though, was because—surprise!—nothing we have published in the US actually has this context.
…I'm embarrassed to admit I wasn't aware "cultural appropriation" describes a situation where one person walks into another person's culture and says, "Yes, this is my home now," like a cuckoo taking over another bird's nest. I always thought it was a function of mishandling a culture—using it in ways that was careless and ill-informed—but no, it's taking away other peoples' identities in the name of playing dress-up for yourself.
"You're robbing me of myself for your own stupid aesthetic desires!" That's how I imagine it must feel.
It disgusts me to think that's how my actions may have looked.
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bbyhellfire · 3 days
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our phantom of forever
➠ summary: eddie is resurrected by vecna, only to realize you don't exist in the upside down.
➠ pairing: eddie munson x afab!reader (she/her pronouns)
➠ word count: 1.3k words
➠ warnings: angst city, death, resurrection, allusions to suicidal thoughts (eddie wishing for death), swearing, reader moved to hawkins with her parents, vecna being vecna.
➠ a/n: pushing the 'eddie is alive' agenda 😌 i have a couple ideas about eddie making a deal with vecna that i'm debating turning into a series or just standalone one shots, so let me know what you think! and let's continue to live in delulu
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It was stupid, running away from Vecna in the Upside Down. It wasn't like he controlled it or anything. But Eddie Munson isn't exactly known for his smart decisions.
He makes a mad dash from the Creel House the first chance he gets. He's alive, resurrected by the very monster responsible for his death. Eddie should be relieved that he can feel his heart beating as he runs through the decrepit streets of Hawkins. The never ending fog blurs his vision, not that it matters. Upside Down or not, he knows where he is going. No alternate dimension can change that.
All Eddie wants is you. He wants to curl his wrecked body around yours and cry into your neck as you tell him everything will be okay. He knows it won't happen, Vecna won't be so quick to let his new plaything go. But the hope is still there, and it's enough to take him across town towards the direction of your home.
If he can't physically be with you, then at least he can be surrounded by you. A piss poor replacement, but he'll take what he can get.
The ash-like spores make his lungs burn with every jagged breath. His body, still weak from his death, begs for him to stop, but he is already here. The navy blue paint is chipped and vines have broken through the front windows, but it's still your home. The world around him blurs into a watercolor of black and blue as he rushes through your front door and up the stairs to your bedroom.
Maybe you'll be waiting for him. You'll greet him with open arms and a teary smile and –
Nothing.
You're not there. In fact, none of your belongings are there. Not your bed, not your desk, your posters, your clothes. The room is empty.
What the hell?
He moves towards your bathroom. The counter should be covered in your toiletries. The doodles he'd given to you should be taped up along the mirror.
An owl with "You're owl I need" written on the bottom.
A mug with "I love you a latte" etched in the front.
Another of a cat holding a sign that says, "I've got felines for you."
The bathroom is as empty as your room. The only things waiting for him are those fucking vines, slithering out of the bathroom sink like a bouquet of snakes.
No, no, no.
Vecna controls this universe, right? So it's not completely unreasonable that he could make you disappear. Right? That has to be it. This is just Vecna. It's all Vecna.
"Do you really think so little of me? After I saved your life? Think, boy."
Eddie's head shoots up to the mirror, expecting to see the monster standing behind him like this is some sort of horror movie, but he's alone. Of course Vecna has an omnipresent voice that echoes throughout. Of course he fucking does.
He's never gonna beat the God complex allegations, Eddie thinks as the vines in the sink start to move. A little nudge of encouragement so to speak.
He bolts out of your room and down the hallway to your parent's bedroom.
Empty.
He tries the linen closet.
Nothing.
He practically tumbles down to the first level. Your living room, dining room, kitchen, even the garage. Everything is devoid of you and anything connected to you.
Dread is settles in the pit of his stomach. He is running out of places to check. All he thinks to do is scream. And he does. He wails and wails until his vocal cords hemorrhage. The dull taste of blood in the back of his throat makes him add obscenities to his screams. Maybe it'd be enough to echo through the other side. Hell, he'd take your parents materializing to scold him. He'd take anything as long as it means you're there. But nothing ever comes. It's just him and his pain.
It's like you never existed.
Only when he's back in your bedroom, standing in the exact spot where your bed should be, does he remember Nancy's diary. Ice cold realization turns his organs into stone.
He tries not whimper, "She isn't here, is she?"
"No, she's not, but you already knew that." With every word, the fog thickens into a violent red until the monster responsible for all of this appears in front of him. Eddie shakes his head in furious denial as the date in Nancy's diary taunts him.
November 6, 1983.
It's like you don't exist in the Upside Down because of you don't exist. Your family wouldn't move to Hawkins until the following month. It wouldn't be until the start of the spring semester when you and Eddie would properly meet, paired up for a science project. By February, he'd build up the courage to ask you on a date. His adoration for you would bloom with the spring flowers. He would be head over heels in love with you by the fall.
But with the Upside Down frozen at a point in time where he didn't even know your name, you won't be here. There will be no record of you, no liferaft to cling to as his humanity is thrown into freefall.
"No, it's not fair! This isn't fucking fair!"
"The human existence is anything but fair. Your life was an excellent example of that."
Eddie knows that very well, but he doesn't need this walking smear stain reminding him like he's a toddler. He remembers every taunt, shove, and outrage that formed his life. They were his to experience, not anyone else's. They were his life no matter how unfair it may have been. Vecna didn't get to use them against him.
Now, he is angry. He lunges toward the monster, but vines shoot out to wrap around his waist before he can reach Vecna. They throw him back violently, wrapping around his middle and neck to keep him flush against the wall. The tendril around his waist tightens until he stops moving, his arms pinned to his side. Another vine slithers around his neck, squeezing until he has no choice but to look up at the monster of the Upside Down.
"So ungrateful even after I gifted you the chance of another life. Do you understand I can take that away from you? And then how would you see her again?"
Eddie grimaces, scrunching his nose and glaring with all the resentment building inside. He knows where this is going, the manipulation so obvious it's insulting.
The weight of his situation presses down on him harder than the vines bundling his body. He finally cries. Fat, angry tears run down his dirty cheeks as he glares at Vecna. Eddie hopes he looks as pathetic as he feels. Maybe Vecna will be disgusted and realize he made a mistake resurrecting him. He is not a killer, not a hero, not a villain. He is just Eddie.
He wishes for a reinstatement of his death sentence. He'd rather his body be picked apart by demobats than a life shackled by shame and defeat.
"I'm not unreasonable, Eddie," Vecna takes heavy steps towards him. "You can see her again, if it's what you really want. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. I just need you to do something for me."
The tears keep falling, his vision blurring from the splotches in the shape of you. He thinks of you, the way you smell, the comforting feeling of your hand in his, the sweet nothings you'd whisper when you thought he was asleep. He remembers the nights you'd spend wrapped in his sheets, eyes glassy from all the weed you'd smoke, as you talk about the future.
That is all he will ever have of you – memories. Memories that will fade until only the pain of what could have been remains.
What else is he supposed to do?
"What is it?"
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divider by @/silkholland
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giannasturn · 1 day
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༊*·˚ the cut that always bleeds.. 🩸🩹 M.S
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W A R N I N G S: angst, situationship, sex, alcohol, smoking, kinda toxic Matt?, fighting, swearing, no happy ending
S U M M A R Y: friends with benefits with Matt turns into the biggest heartbreak you’ve ever experienced when you catch feelings but he doesn’t.
THIS IS MY WORK, MY IDEA, NO STEALING !!
4 months ago..
“that was fucking amazing” Matt, your best friends brother says. “Yeah it was” you say.
It just kept happening, you would find yourself in his bed almost every night, and you would find yourselves hooking up at every party you showed up to together.
One night, after you guys had hooked up, he asked you if you wanted to be “friends with benefits” you agreed, with no strings attached and the cycle just kept repeating.
Now..
Matt cleans you up with the rag that was already laying on his floor from yesterday, “I think I’m gonna go” you say, as he stands up and throws the rag in the laundry.
“Why?” He asks. Deep down in your head you know why. You cannot lay on his chest while he plays with your hair again, you cannot go on another late drive to get food and have a deep talk together again, you just can’t.
Your heart falls in love with him a little more every time you spend time with him, “i just need to leave” you say.
“Well okay, bye y/n.” He says while kissing your cheek.
You let out a quick “bye” while tying on your shoes and heading out the door.
You get in your car and start heading towards your apartment which you shared with your best friend Ava.
Ava was the only one who knew about your feelings for Matt, and it was gonna stay that way. Right..?
🎶 I can’t be your lover on a leash, every other week when you please. 🎶
“I just can’t do it anymore Ava” you say while eating ice cream sitting on your shared couch. “I wanted nothing more but to just hold him and kiss him but I know if I would, it would just kill me even more.”
“You have to let him go” Ava says, “no no, I can get over these stupid feelings I know I can.” “I just can’t let him go” you say.
You feel a buzz in the pocket of your baggy sweatpants, you grab your phone to see it’s Matt.
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“You have to ignore him girl” Ava says. “I know” you say.
No matter how much it pained you you know Ava is right. So you do just that, you ignore him.
Next thing you know you hear your phone start buzzing again, this time Matt is calling you.
You cant help yourself so you pick up.
“Hello?” Matt says with a confused tone in his voice
“Hey” you say.
“Why didn’t you answer my text?” Matt says, sounding almost concerned.
“I just didn’t, why do you care so much” I say.
I dont wanna be rude, but if I wasn’t then I know I would end up just acting like his little side hoe again, and I couldn’t keep doing that.
“Wow someone’s grouchy” he says.
“Matt what do you want, why did you call”
“Why are you getting so upset with me?” Matt says.
“Did I do something”
“Matt just leave me alone.” I say while hanging up.
- - -
🎶 cause you keep me on a rope, and tied a noose around my throat. 🎶
Fuck me. I think to myself, as I stand in this random persons house, at a party I was invited too last minute.
“Cmonnn, you gotta loosen up a bit” Madi says. I know she’s right, but all I wanna do is look for Matt and lay on his chest while his soft gentle fingers run through my hair.
“Maybe you could find someone else to hook up with even” Ava says. “Okay..fineee” I say.
While glancing around the room trying to find someone at least a little attractive, I see Matt with a random blonde tracing his tattoos and giving him “fuck me” eyes.
I move my eyes down a little bit and see his hand on her ass. Fuck, I think to myself.
As the tears start forming at my eyes, I feel my chest start to tighten.
I run through the crowd trying not to make it obvious that I’m upset, until I find a door and open it, only to find 2 random people fucking each other. “Sorry!” I say while storming out.
I find another door and open it, thank god nobody’s in this one. My back hits the door and I slide down it while heavy sobs escape my mouth.
I hear a knock at the door, “hey y/n you in there?” I hear from a familiar voice, Matt’s voice.
I try to stay silent but then once I feel the door push my back foward, I realize that I forgot to lock the door.
“What’s wrong, baby?” The words escape his mouth so easily, yet effect me so much.
“I’m fine, Matt really just leave me alone” I say.
“No, what is wrong? It’s obvious I did something.” He says.
I’m in love with you Matt. I wanna say, but of course, I don’t.
“Did you not fin- fuck y/n you didn’t finish did you.” He says.
“Oh my god Matt yes I fucking finished dumbass” I say.
“I think you just need to loosen up” he says, picking me off the ground gently
Before I know it, he turns me around an slams me against the door
He slowly lifts up my dress with his hands, and moves my underwear to the side.
Without a warning, he inserts 2 fingers into me. “Fuck matt” I say.
“Now.. you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He says.
“It’s nothing I’m just going through a tough time right now” I say, breathing heavily and trying not to moan.
- - -
🎶you know what your doing when your coming back, and I don’t wanna have another heart attack🎶
He puts my clothing back on, kissing all over my body. “So pretty” he says. “And your all mine” he says. Killing me
“fuck I love you” he says. Killing me.
I agree to go back to his house and hangout for a bit. I knew I shouldn’t, but at the end of the day he is also my best friend and I just missed it.
“you know, i enjoy fucking, but I also just enjoy your presence and hanging out with you.” He says while rubbing my thigh. Killing me.
“Yeah me too” I say. “Then why have you been so distant?” He says. I know I shouldn’t admit anything, but maybe he deserves to know something at least.
“Well when we were at the party earlier, and I saw your hand on that girls ass” “I kinda got upset and I-“ I say before he cuts me off
“Y/n, we never agreed to not seeing other people.” “We are just friends with benefits right?” He says.
“Right.” I say. Killing me
- - -
🎶 but even though your killing me, yeah 🎶
Everything he is doing is killing me. The kisses and praises he leaves all over my body after sex killed me.
Every time I seen him go on a date, or dancing with another girl at a party killed me.
But most importantly, every time he has to remind me that we are just friends kills me.
I know this is not good, I know leaving his house bawling my eyes out was not good for me.
Everyone tells me I need to tell him. My therapist, my friends, even his brothers, which now know about my feelings because I mean come on it’s pretty obvious.
It could be the fact that it’s midnight, or the fact that that I smoked 2 j’s, but i think its time to tell him.
I get into my car, put some music on and before I can think I start driving.
- - -
I arrive at his door, and immediately knock. Nick & Chris don’t stay up that late but Matt does so Matt answers the door.
“Hey y/n, you didn’t tell me you were coming”
“I know” I say. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah sure” he says. Opening the door wider for me to come in.
We arrive to his room, and the tension is high. He can tell something’s off, and my heart is pounding out of my chest.
“Y/n what the fuck is wrong?” “You ignore me, and then we have sex and you don’t let me even hold you!”
“I don’t fucking understand, you say your going through a tough time but you don’t tell me anything!” He says.
“Matt it’s cause I’m fucking in love with you.” I say.
…. The silence is a unbearable amount of loud and the air becomes even more tense if that’s possible
“Every time you kiss me it kills me because I know we won’t ever be able to do that without fucking.”
“Every time you hold me, it kills me because I know your just doing it because you just nearly took my ability to walk away.”
“Every time you call me yours it kills me because I know that I’m not, and I never will be”
“I thought maybe if I ignored you it would get better and these feelings would pass but the more I ignored you the more it hurt and I couldn’t take it anymore” I say.
“I can’t just fucking be your lover when you want me to be, and then see you eye fucking a ton of other girls at parties” I say
“You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me. I caught feelings and this is all my fault.”
“But I also don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve to feel like I’m getting stabbed anytime I come near you.” I say while leaving his room and slamming the door on my way out.
My chest feels tighter then it ever has, but I also somehow feel relieved. I finally let it out, I don’t feel so locked up anymore.
I run out of the house ignoring all of the “y/n wait!” “Y/n comeback” s that come out of his mouth.
- - -
🎶 beat my heart to black and blue 🎶
When I arrive home, I walk in sobbing and Immediately drop to the floor.
“Oh my god y/n what happened” Ava says.
I am on the verge of passing out, everything around me is tuned out and my eyes are blurry, quite frankly I don’t know how I survived the drive home. I felt light headed and like I was about to puke.
“Y/n stay with me, everything’s going to be okay” Ava says.
- - -
Everything from that night is a blur. I know what happened and I know what I did, but all the details are erased from my brain.
My room reeks of alcohol, weed, and just disgustingness considering I haven’t cleaned my room, nor got out of my bed for 4 days.
I haven’t gotten any messages from Matt, he hasn’t came here, he’s just gone.
There’s been music blaring in my room for 3 hours straight, the songs going from sad, to chill, to hype music where I start convincing myself I’m over it until it turns back into sad music again.
“The cut that always bleeds” by Conan Grey turns on, and I immediately turn it all the way up.
This song can explain me and Matt’s relationship more then I can, and I can’t listen to it without bawling my eyes out.
“Oooh, oooh, but even though your killing me” I sing while my head lays back on my headboard
Tears start streaming down my face, Matt’s shirt I haven’t token off for 4 days getting soaked from my tears.
“I need you like the air I breath”
“I need, I need you more than me.”
No matter how much I don’t wanna admit it, I need Matt more then anything. I need his hands rubbing all over me, i need his lips against mine, I need our hands interlinked. I need him………
…. The end.
A/N, this is my 2nd fic ever, I think this fic is way better then my 1st one, but I still don’t know if I would consider it good, anywho I love the cut that always bleeds but I can’t listen to it without crying so I thought why not make a fic about it!! I love angst and couldn’t wait to write it so I did just that. Hope you enjoyed!! 😋😋
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imustbenuts · 2 days
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im free from yakuza kiwami 2. fuck the writing in this one. this was a complete mess of pulling from the most popular generic east asian drama tropes at the time of 2006 and having it be handled by a super inexperienced writer at the helm.
i went from having no expectations, got somewhat surprised, only to end up downing alcohol and laughing hysterically before the credits rolled. so that should set the mood for how i feel about this one. thought vomit under the cut, a lot of info dump about culture incoming
yakuza kiwami 2 is pure heterosexual east asian romance bullshit.
im gonna just. describe as best as i can what i know and remember from the general media coming out from the 90s to the 2010s in around this part of the world before i just start explaining why i think this story is a mess.
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so. 2 parts i swear is responsible for this rubbish.
1) East Asian Beauty Standard
the general consensus for a beautiful feminine woman AT THE TIME in this sphere is the following
be willowy thin (fat = lazy and ugly)
have black hair that ISNT short (dyed = too much individuality, too much WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM, gasp how dare!)
fair skinned (bc dark = she works in the fields and is from a lower class)
young. if you heard of the term "Christmas Cake" in japan context, yeah. (ie women over age of 25 are undesirable)
be educated and refined, bc that indicates class and femininity (failing this means shes vulgar and gasp like a barbarian)
be submissive to her male peers in the sense that her authority cannot override his at least in public (for the sake of his face)
dresses feminine and not like a man (trousers and jeans are man-ish. traditional clothing, skirts and dresses are preferred. the further back the stronger this sentiment is.)
incidentally, theres a lot of classism tied to this EABS due to sinocentric culture influences. it has to do with the chinese court system and how korea and japan copied it and a lot of the culture wholesale but. anyway. thats like over 1000 years of history in there thats not really worth detouring to rn.
and also, the worth of a man is sometimes (not always) upheld by how classy and feminine this wife of his is. as of 2024 though, this line of thought is still around in the more conservative pockets. also, the education might not matter as much these days as how deep her and her parents' pockets and wealth are.
moving on.
2) media tropes
so. off the top of my head.
if you wanted a popular romance drama in this time period, the popular offerings no matter where you looked tended to offer the same flavors of tropes.
the woman always has dark hair, is fair skinned, thin and younger than her male love interest. ive never seen this broken or subverted in my time absorbing via osmosis the dramas playing on local tv growing up in the early 2000s.
everything else about her can be subverted though. sometimes she can wear fancy pants or have short hair to indicate her strong individualism. BUT, her personality no matter how strong it begins, no matter how her intro begins will 99% of the time encounter an effect where catching feelings turns her into a meek loyal woman to her love interest.
bc she cant override his authority in this culture context.
at worst, she becomes highly irrational and even hysterical in the dramas when bad things happen. this includes things like love triangle, or a fallout of family business, drama, plot or whatever. she would cry and sometimes even die.
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see: sawamura yumi. sayama kaoru.
meanwhile, the male love interest can be anything. ive seen middle aged guys to young good looking upcoming actors playing the lead, with looks varying from haggardly okay to young and handsome. it. really depends on the genre.
depending on what specific country it came from, the drama would have the male either grow, become manlier (by learning honor ig), become stupid in the name of love, but he rarely if ever actually dies. the woman effectively becomes yoshi for mario to lauch off on when they're crossing a chasm
the romance is forced. a lot of the BIG LOVE SPARK ie kissing happens in tense moments bc it builds drama, but in reality comes too fucking close to sexual assault (some of the old jackie chan movies does this iirc for slapstick even)
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see: sayama getting kissed right after handling her biological father's ashes less than 24 hours ago and admitting to kiryu that shes scared. this scene right fucking here.
bc in general, the scriptwriters for popular dramas tended to be guys themselves and tended to write more human dudes. and the women in the stories are reflective of the ideal societal expectation at the time: being a Refined Housewife.
so her character development is often headed in the direction of marriage and being a stay at home mom.
if it sounds a little like tradwife bullshit, it is.
Refined Housewife
(i have massive negative thoughts about this which i KNOW for a fact is a thing bc a lot of these societal culture femininity was impressed on me as a kid in a world where it was already getting increasingly impossible to have 1 spouse be a SAHP. and also i hated the whole thing about giving face to the patriarch of the house when i personally saw so much ego dick measuring from my uncles. anyway understand that this is both a bias an a lived experience, so proceed with that in mind)
there is a problem with the Refined Housewife expectation: education.
in general, education has been a good metric to judge how classy or smart one is in asia's largely on-the-surface meritocracy based culture. people will look at each other's school first and then judge them from there, and pretty hard too.
so everyone regardless of gender will be expected to study super hard. and bc having good test scores and going to good schools looks good for the family's face, parents will often pile on tuition to the child to get them a leg up in life.
bc also no good degree from good school means no future.
but then... the woman is expected to be a housewife. 🙃 meaning... the education, her accomplishments, are kinda... tossed away in this context. put a pin in this.
it wont matter how much she studied or accomplished, bc the expectation is that the woman would marry and obey her husband, and give him face/honor that way. the kids will come eventually bc having kids = being filial to ones parents in this context.
also uh. no, having adopted kids is not thought of as being filial. continuing the bloodline is.
and if you've been paying attention, then yes, ive been skirting around the backbone of sayama kaoru's writing foundations this entire time.
Her story has been butchered so clumsily i cant even...
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lets just. ugh.
she fits the EABS standard, her tropes are trying to subvert the expectations of a womanly woman in this context, she has IMPRESSIVE education and career achievements. she works in a male dominated field, and is keenly aware of sexism. she is strong, stronger than her male peers, at least we are told.
by 2006s standards, its still considered a fresh take with those alone in japan. sexism there is its own flavor of crap. (if you noticed ive not spoken about LGBTQ+ stuff at all, its bc how ridiculously BINARY the expectation is at that point in time. it still is today but less so)
however, the writing has this sense of trying to copy the popular tropes at the time while not fully understanding and dissecting them, and ends up butchering sayama's character before the romance even properly began.
i mean, for fucks sake even, sayama and kiryu has a whopping 14 year age gap. when im told these are supposed to be believable people living in japan, this is too big for me to just go 'oh ok!'. and remember the Christmas Cake thing? shes 25. (FUCKING--!!!! !!)
the problem here that i see is the writer trying to apply all of those while trying to play the tropes straight. trying to imitate. trying to make a statement but then finding out theres nothing within yourself to stand by what you want to say and backtracking.
we are told:
sayama is strong yet she goes down with 1 slap by random thugs and needing kiryu to come in and body them. because romance ig.
we are told shes a yakuza hunter but she doesnt scare a single one beyond her introductory scene.
she goes from defiant and bossing kiryu around to getting her actions overridden by kiryu and ryuji, both men, towards the end
her subtext is that shes not feminine and therefore conventionally undesirable, but then kiryu tells her shes actually feminine and therefore desired, as if its all that matters.
she becomes so stricken by grief and freaked out that she runs off solo to deal with ryuji in the most out of left pocket planning ive ever fucking seen.
and then yells as she takes out her police baton to take down the big yakuza dude, drawing attention and turning herself into a hostage.
i know the writing will fumble but i didnt expect it to fumble this bad.
for all the good the surface chemistry kiryu and sayama has, its being undermined by a fundamental failure to understand tropes and then using said tropes as a crutch so much that everything here has become a bloody mess.
this failure of over-relying on tropes without understanding them extends to yumi too. sawamura yumi was young and beautiful, and became the Refined Housewife to the Not-Male-MC and ends up regretting it, and gets killed for it.
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her defining trait is that she is beautiful in subtext. thats. thats what the tattoo is. in a world where the tattoo makeths the person, thats what she is and all that she is.
dear lord.
ive read up a bit more on sayama and you know what. good that she chooses her career over kiryu. the romance would have caused both of their characters to explode with the trajectory this was heading in. ffs sayama could have had her own game. she has so MUCH potential.
and also GOOD that the writer is forced to think of kiryu in the position of the Stay At Home Parent for haruka and the orphanage down the line!!! subverting the fucking traditional BS expectation! yes!!!!!
all i got was sayama and kiryu making out before the bomb went off in front of my alcohol and salad while they're like 'eh, haruka will forgive us for dying :')'
and i ran out of alcohol.
sexism? maybe. incompetence? definitely.
hhgrhgrhrghrghrgrhgr wow this got long. ugh. guhhhhhh.
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mar3ggiata · 2 days
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professional help, c7. Beware of the dog.
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simon riley x original character.
trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, EDs and death.
song to listen to when reading this: Dark red, Steve Lacy.
abstract: Simon. I don't fucking know what to say about this chapter, I was moving in autopilot. and I'm just being a decent fucking human being, what do you expect me to say really? just start reading already.
She took a look around. The men in the room were looking at her like she was gonna spontaneously combust and explode. Some of them had their lips pressed in a thin line. I'm sorry Jude, this is the part fo the movie where you die! Simon on her right was frowning, his eyebrows slightly peering through his mask. She started imagining if she just left right now. Took her dog, got to the airport and moved to Spain. The Maldives, maybe. She started a new life as a new person once at 18, she could do it again now seven years later. Or maybe she just needed to go home, smoke every little bit of weed she had left, curl up in bed and die. She started laughing. She had always thought her laugh was the most awful sound in the word. She started laughing, she looked psychotic. She hid her smile with her right hand through her head back. Her voice was the only sound in the room, ripping apart the air. It was a terrifying sight. Fuck me sideways. How could she be so stupid to get back to that job in the first place, after what happened in 2021. 'Oh God…' she sighed when she regained a little bit of control over her laughter which still lingered in the air like a distorted melody. She was still smiling. The first time he saw her smile, laugh even. It sounded real, she sounded genuinely delighted.
Simon decided he wanted nothing to do with her right in that moment. She scared him to death, who knew a woman could be this attractive and scary at the same time. Price seemed to think showing her the calendar wasn't a good idea after all and quickly took the piece of paper and pushed it to the side. 'Look Jude, we're gonna escort you home, it's gonna be fine, we're going to continue to look for him until we have to leave.' He was trying to calm her down and, frankly, she looked perfectly fine. She looked like she was at a dinner party with her favourite friends, a glass of Champaign in her hand, her eyes shining with little tears of joy from laughing too much. Except, she laughed because she was scared. 'I've seen this film before, captain', she said, her words sounded venomous. Her eyes were dark, filled with sorrow and regret. Something like this happened before, and the captain knew.
'No, I'm telling you, it will be fine.' Price was trying to convince her. 'Gentlemen, we have an early flight tomorrow, we're going to keep looking for Arash until we find something and we'll brief again at nine, tonight. If they know we're coming, things might get ugly.' Jude was no where to be found. Well, she was still in the room, but her smile left space to an expression of defeat, like she had accepted her fate. Her eyes didn't look as bright, she kept wiping the palm of her hands on her thighs. Simon had noticed. His eyes locked with the captain's and they understood each other. Take her away, this was the sign. He quickly turned towards her, slouching downwards to speak closer to her. 'Let's go Jude', he instructed. She didn't look up at him, keeping her eyes low, but made her way to the door. He was walking beside her matching her speed. 'Take your car, I'll follow you' he said, and she still didn't answer.
'Jude' he called and finally she looked at him 'What!?' She raised her voice. She was mad again. Like the first time he saw her, fists curled with rage, on the verge of tears. He tried to keep his voice as gentle as he could. 'It's alright, everything's going to be fine', he tried to talk to her like he would do in an hostage rescue situation. 'I'll get you home. I know how to do my job', he reassured. He thought knowing he knew what to do might make her feel better. She nodded and quickly walked to her car. He followed her car all the way to the city, trying not to lose her in traffic. She parked in a busy residential street and he quickly followed. When she got out she looked for him, and waited for him to get out of the truck. She trusted him. Not because he was someone special, but from what she'd gathered he was someone Price trusted, he was probably good at his job. And he seemed kind.
'This way' she said, making her way to her apartment. She gave him her keys, he made his way to the door and got his gun out of the holster. He then noticed the little sign on the side of the door. 'Beware of the dog'. 'You scared of dogs?' she asked quietly, appearing on his side like the angel on his shoulder. Under his shoulder, let's say. Now, was he afraid of dogs, no. Did he have the best relationship ever with animals? Focus, you have a job to do, kill the dragon, save the princess. 'Stay back'. He opened the door and peered through with his gun drawn. The only sound that came from inside was a loud bark and paws on the floor. The puppy greeted him by sniffing his feet, his tail was wiggling. Not much of a guard dog, was it a German Shepard? The lights were out in the apartment, Jude made her way inside and flicked them on. She looked around and everything seemed as she left it. 'Ciao, si ciao' she spoke to the dog, who was clearly excited to see her, whining and stomping his paws. Simon tried to remember the words she said, so he could guess her native language. Spanish?
He looked around her living room and kitchen. Her house resembled her personality. There were books scattered on the coffee table, at least 5 of them, an empty mug as well. Books and papers on the sofa as well, maybe she was studying something? Black big reading glasses, with huge lenses. There were posters on the walls, art he didn't recognise. Nothing much on the shelves, minimal decor. A tall lamp in the corner of the room. He noticed a polaroid picture with someone with short hair. So you do have a boyfriend… Her kitchen was clean. It was a nice kitchen, she didn't have a table but two stools under a kitchen isle which probably served as a counter too. It was connected to the wall. Again, folders and scattered papers, maybe work. The dog bed on the floor. A lot of plants, he didn't think they were fake. An ashtray next to the window. Smoker? 'Can I check the other rooms?' he asked. To be respectful, you know. She nodded and he made his way to her bedroom. The door was closed. He glanced around the room, he checked the toilet as well. The bed wasn't made. She had light blue bedding. The room smelled like her, like lavender. She had a stuffed animal on the bed, a sheep. She had fuzzy slippers, probably a size 5. On the wall, more posters. He noticed a painting of a scary dog's fangs. Books on the nightstand, books on the wooden window sill. He saw a bra hanging from a chair and that was his cue to leave. In the toilet, one single toothbrush. So… no boyfriend?
'All clear'. She was standing beside the door, her dog at her feet was licking her hand while she petted him lazily. 'Thanks' she offered him a smile, a tiny one. She looked more relaxed. They stood looking at each other for a few seconds. Until he couldn't hold it in any longer. 'What happened last year?' He saw her expression darken, her shoulders tense. Who do you think you are to ask like that? She straightened her back and let go of the dog. He remained at her feet, wanting attention. 'You should learn to mind your business.' She made her way to the kitchen. She passed by him and didn't make eye contact. 'You should have some respect when you talk to people’ he answered. He didn't have time for this. He was fucking stupid to think he could speak with her, actually acting like a 10 year old. The dog came closer to him and sniffed his shoes. 'You know where the door is.' She turned around and faced the sink. He could feel a switch in her voice, in her attitude. It was Jude and then Her, her real self, whoever she was. It was two different people. The girl saw kindly smiling at Gaz in the car wasn't the same girl that barged in their briefing room demanding they listen to her. Or maybe it was, maybe that was Jude, and the scared, damaged little thing that he took home a year prior was Her. He didn't know who. Jude was Ghost and She was Simon. Something very bad had happened back then. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, he wasn't meant to know, no matter how much he tried. She raised a wall in between them. She made the weather right outside the apartment turn to when it's about to rain. Thunderstorms and lighting kind of rain. And it was probably better this way. He turned around without saying a word, only careful not to let the dog out.
She started breathing again when he left. Her mouth was dry, she was sweating. She called the dog and gave him food. She lit a cigarette and sat by the window. She called in the dance school, saying she had a fever. This way, she could stay inside all weekend. It took her forty minuted to stop shaking. Images from that day replayed in her mind at least once every three days now. She had gotten better, but that thingh wasn't really something you recover from. She sometimes woke up in the middle of the night sweating and crying, feeling the blade of the knife on her skin. She had dreams she had died. She wished she never woke up for a long time. She had dreams about the way he touched her. The first five months after it happened she would bite her nails till the cuticles bled and not shower for days. Her own hands on her skin felt like his. The first time she talked to another human being was when she visited Salvo in San Francisco. She looked like a corpse. He was speechless and hated her for letting herself go like this. It wasn't just the eating and over exercise, which he knew were her preferred coping mechanisms. She had lost interest in living, in speaking, in watching movies, reading. Her career… He held her every night, they slept intertwined in his room, he was the first man that actually showed her respect. He was the first man she touched after that day, she hugged him and rested her head on his chest while he reminded her she was loved, she was important to him, she was alive. He would caress her hair when she woke up sweating and was patient with her when she wouldn't eat. This time was different, she was going to be fine. Even if Salvo wasn't there. Arash would not find her, the memories from last year would leave her alone. She would make it once again.
notes. translation: 'Ciao, si, ciao.' means 'hi, yes, hi.'
notes: Salvatore, i want a friend like you, KING. I am back, I'm sorry for the delay I got surgery done to my teeth??? Anyways, enjoy!!!
taglist:
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saintarmand · 2 days
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wait I need to hear about the Daniel Lestat parallels
in answering your question i ended up typing a lot about a lot of things... some of which i think is pretty good and some of which is messy nonsense. enticing sneak preview:
daniel and lestat's similarities
the show overall as a story about how substance abuse affects families
how daniel mirrors both louis and lestat as a husband and as a father
facts, conjecture, and lots of theories about different aspects of daniel's backstory:
how antoinette may parallel armand, madeleine, and daniel's daughter
how daniel might mirror claudia???
like lestat, daniel can be pretty arrogant. they both love to lecture. "this is just how it is, listen to me, i would know! i have so much experience and knowledge to share." classic old white man behavior. hell, they're both old bisexual white men even. like lestat, daniel doesn't think of himself as racist but is still throwing microaggressions at both louis and armand.
daniel & lestat, danlou & loustat
lestat and daniel are both judgmental of some of louis's life choices (though usually different ones) and are not shy about saying so. they both make faces at louis eating animals—daniel also just louis eating in general ofc. but WE KNOW he still secretly thinks it's sexy and is also perhaps a bit jealous when louis is drinking from a hot guy, much like lestat. (don't pick the jacked sailor louis!!! great aesthetic but NO.)
so personality-wise, daniel is a combination of both louis and lestat. (he even has some claudia in him with his quest for the truth. i bet claudia would love to be a journalist, digging up dirt on people, exposing corruption! she's already a prolific writer too. but i'm getting sidetracked.)
both loustat and danlou are fond of each other, attracted to each other, but are also constantly bickering, sometimes in all good fun and sometimes not.
we see daniel yelling at louis in the show, and he's always yelling at armand in devil's minion. like lestat, he has a lot of anger in him. i bet he could throw a punch too back in the day. and while i don't think he was abusive to his wives, we know he wasn't a good husband either. especially while he was using.
and this is where we get to the most important parallel between them: lestat's "overindulgence" in killing is analogous to substance abuse. of course drinking too much blood doesn't actually make him act the way he does, but what happens in the show is still very reminiscent of the way alcoholism and drug abuse contributes to relationship problems. the substance itself doesn't lead to abuse, but it exacerbates things.
human blood is drugs actually
in the books, lestat talks about getting drunk a lot when he was human. louis calls himself a drunk too, and in the show their relationship starts by them going out all night almost every night. then they start going out every night to drink human blood. louis feels pressured to drink in order to please lestat, but eventually he wants to cut back. lestat is angry, telling louis it's stupid, there's nothing wrong with drinking, it's pointless, it's gonna be so hard, you won't be able to do it. and of course he feels like it's an attack on his own blood drinking. louis doesn't ask lestat to quit with him, but out of respect for louis's choice, he doesn't drink around louis anymore. lestat starts having parties at the house all the time. louis is totally fine with it, he's there, it's fine, it's fun. at least until it starts to get out of hand. and then lestat's fucking around on him too. eventually louis has a big relapse, things get way out of hand, it costs him his job even, lestat's like lol welcome back! told you this would happen! so louis breaks up with him.
but whooops he comes back carrying a child. you know, in his arms! he really wants to keep the kid. lestat acquiesces. louis doesn't go back to drinking human blood, but he doesn't have to because lestat has a new drinking buddy, a 14-year-old girl! he gave her a taste and she loved it! yay! louis tries to warn her about potential consequences. he's had a lot of them. she was a consequence even, but a good one. but she likes drinking with lestat, and eventually she starts going out on her own. and it gets out of hand.
daniel is sober now, "like louis", but he had a big drug problem back in the day. louis asks him about the "best he ever had." black tar heroin is nothing compared to what lestat gave louis that first time. yeah, it's not just drinking, it's hard drugs that lestat gave his kids.
louis's family doesn't know what the hell he and lestat get up to all night but they know it's nothing good. he stopped coming over for months, even years, but one time he showed up, watched the baby for just a second, dropped him on the floor. he wasn't invited to the kids' birthday party cause they're afraid of him. he showed up late and broke the door. they cut him out entirely. are he and his... partner, the right kind of people to adopt?
one time the cops get called. they raid the house but the evidence is well hidden. mostly. they refrain on calling the child welfare league but they don't like what they see. louis and lestat lecture claudia; louis about the drugs themselves, lestat about not hiding her tracks well enough. and speaking of, are those track marks on her arms? we don't do that kind of thing in this house!
claudia tells louis he's the one who brought her into the house. enabled lestat to give her a taste. she leaves home, staying somewhere new every night. she's still using, on her own and in dangerous situations. eventually she returns home. it's safer with someone watching your back.
lestat and claudia say louis's abstaining comes off judgmental. so he starts using again too. they throw a big big party with great party favors. claudia puts something in lestat's.
in season 2 (and i'm spoiling the whole plot), claudia and louis will travel around looking for people who are into the same stuff. the ones they find are pathetic, living like trash. then they find a group having some real fun, big parties. louis's not into it, but he's into armand, who doesn't mind that he doesn't use as much. claudia will get sick of the parties but get louis to give this woman she meets a little taste like lestat did with her. but armand doesn't want claudia around. armand and louis will keep using together, meet a guy in a bar. give him a taste of the good stuff. eventually louis will want to cut back again, and armand accepts it, even helps him. but louis's not much fun anymore.
just this once, daniel is a step ahead of louis; daniel's second marriage has already fallen apart.
daniel and alice
daniel compares louis to his first wife when he tells her about her dyeing her eyebrow; she thinks she has a flaw and tried to cover it up, but daniel likes her the way she is. lestat treated louis's aversion to killing like a flaw, and louis internalized that, calling himself a botched vampire, but daniel likes that about him. louis is like alice in a way.
some wild conjecture: what if alice was an addict too? what if daniel somehow contributed to her addiction like lestat did with louis? what if alice stopped using like louis, while daniel continued like lestat? or maybe she never used any drugs, but started drinking due to strain on her marriage; a more indirect cause. and what about the kids? what if, like claudia becoming a blood drinker like her parents, daniel's kids ended up inheriting his addiction too? becoming alcoholics as teens or adults? or maybe it affected them even more directly, like one of them accidentally ingested something he left lying around, and almost died like claudia? okay, that got dark... maybe daniel avoided getting his kids directly involved, perhaps by simply not being around much, and that's one of the differences between their stories. narrative foils aren't supposed to be identical after all, just further the same themes. a parent's substance abuse affects the children, one way or another. we don't know the details, but like lestat's fledglings, daniel's kids don't talk to him anymore.
daniel proposed to alice "after he got his shit together" but we don't know when this was. we do know daniel had a daughter by 1978 (7 years before car seats are mandatory) though we don't know how old she was—probably under 6 given he was imagining her in a car seat. we can probably assume alice is the mom, and based on her commenting on this part of his memoir that he never owned a buick, we can probably assume they were together around this time, or at least in contact. we also know he used black tar heroin in 1978.
this is only like semi-canon but on his linkedin page it says he started working as a freelance investigative journalist in 1982. it could be a random date but i imagine he's "got his shit together", working real jobs. so maybe it was around this time that he and alice got married. if we're assuming the devil's minion mind wipe theory is true, it would also be very fitting if the confusion of lost memories was what drew him specifically to investigative journalism as opposed to the portrait pieces he did before that. he doesn't know what the truth is anymore, so he starts looking for it wherever he goes.
and speaking of devil's minion, if daniel was cheating on alice with armand, then he's a lot like lestat indeed. but his secret lover is so secret he himself doesn't even know about him anymore. (or maybe alice did know there was someone, and felt very gaslighted when daniel suddenly started insisting it never happened after basically admitting it before? or maybe daniel's denials just suddenly got so convincing she agreed to marry him?)
two marriages, two children?
in 1985, daniel and alice were talking past each other when she told him she was pregnant. he was like remind me again later
louis and lestat didn't have another kid together, but lestat did make another vampire: antoinette. lestat had a child! while the marriage was going badly, a few years after getting (back) together. just like our boy danny.
after "breaking up" with lestat, louis will also have a "child", madeleine. he's giving claudia a "sister" while he's dating armand.
so here's a two-part prediction: 1. alice dumped daniel before their second child was born. 2. daniel met his second wife before his second child with was born.
so like lestat turning antoinette, daniel got alice pregnant BEFORE getting dumped like lestat (pun intended).
and like louis turning madeleine, daniel's second child was born AFTER he met his (soon-to-be) second spouse.
what if, like armand, the second wife didn't like daniel spending much time with his kids? it's been known to happen. we know absolutely nothing about this second marriage but i think we'll get something in season 2. is there something daniel shares with armand as the types of husbands they make? i bet there will be
daniel's childhood?
we know where daniel is now, and a little bit about how he got here. but the thing we know absolutely nothing about is where he started.
daniel was already struggling with drug abuse by the time he met louis and armand, doing what he "had to" to get high. we know it's not really the only reason he frequented gay bars, but still. he was at a point where he was willing to play the crack whore. so what led to it? addiction doesn't come from drug use alone, and genes aren't enough either. there's always something you're struggling to cope with that leads you to drug abuse. so what was it? his sexuality could be enough, but i bet there's more to it than that.
if we're looking for lestat parallels, rape trauma works. maybe his interest in claudia's assault was personal, his flippancy a defense mechanism? certainly a possibility. but childhood trauma seems like the safest bet, doesn't it? lestat certainly had it. but i don't wanna focus on him now.
i mentioned earlier that daniel and claudia share a passion for the truth and for writing. what if he had some of her childhood too? abusive parents, parents abusing drugs or alcohol, parents fighting a lot, parents cheating on each other. pick as many as you like. maybe he was even a band aid for a shitty marriage. maybe there was a difficult divorce. maybe one of his parents had an awful new partner and said they'd dump them but never did, or got back together every time. picked someone else over him over and over again. he certainly had a lot to say about that! maybe he gets so incensed over being lied to because his parents always lied to him too. maybe his outburst wasn't about louis at all. maybe memory is the monster. maybe his parents cursed him into the darkness. lestat's did, and he cursed his own children in turn. i bet that's what happened to daniel too: they fuck you up, your mom and dad; the poison drips through; we dance on the strings of those who came before us; memory is a monster. maybe daniel became his own father too. his father or his mother or both. it's usually both, right?
this is louis's story first and foremost but parts of it are claudia and lestat and armand's too, and daniel functions as a funhouse mirror for all of them!!!
whew
in adding the chapter headings i ended up moving things around so idk how coherent this is but i fear proofreading would only result in me editing this forever and i would really like to avoid locking even more posts into the drafts vault. 😭 hopefully it coheres? thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts!
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erinelliotc · 3 days
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Talking about "Ed, Edd n Eddy" outside of Tumblr with (probably) heterosexual cisgender neurotypical men is just... frustrating. I feel like I'm talking to a door. The guy got mad just for stating the simple fact that what the Kankers do to the Eds is sexual harassment. I mean, how can anyone deny that? I thought it was, like, obvious to everyone lol. I made it very clear that it's my favorite cartoon and that admitting that what the Kankers do is sexual harassment doesn't mean it's bad or that it should've been canceled, and the guy just said he wouldn't read my text. It's ridiculous.
People outside of Tumblr are so lazy and this scares and saddens me because I love writing and I can hardly summarize my thoughts. I mean, it's okay if you don't want to read it, but then at least keep quiet and don't give your opinion on something you don't know about or assume what the other person said. People simply leave discussions with a simple "I won't read it" and feel victorious for it, even if the person in question is agreeing with them, agreeing more than disagreeing, or only partially disagreeing. They treat "writing too much" as having already lost the argument itself and that doesn't make any sense. The worst part for me is that being lazy to read and having the inability to formulate a counterargument has already been widely normalized on the internet as winning an argument, and it totally pisses me off.
Why are people so lazy to... think, discuss and reflect? To use their fucking brains!? They just want to attack people for no reason and be right at all costs! They act stupid and others agree with them! Ugh, I should just stay on Tumblr. I've already accepted that this is the only nice and safe (or at least the nicest and safest) place for neurodivergent / autistic people.
Anyway, about what happened:
It was in this Instagram post:
instagram
Comments started here:
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I replied emir.d95 with this text:
I mean, it is sexual harassment. Admitting this isn't the same as saying that the cartoon is bad or that it should've been canceled (far from it, it's literally my favorite cartoon of all time), it's just stating a fact. It's like denying that Ed has an intellectual disability and is bullied because of it, or that Kevin is a bully (at least in the initial seasons), these are things that aren't explicitly said in the show, but are obvious and don't make it bad (furthermore, it was the 90s/2000s, it was a cartoon within what was considered normal for the time). Problematic things and complications happen, they are part of life, showing them in a cartoon isn't the same as agreeing with them. It was very clear that the Kankers were a bother to everyone and nobody liked them. Danny Antonucci said the Kankers were based on a group of girls he knew during his 7th grade school year. In his words "they're based on a pair of Grade 7 girls who true to form were always on the lookout for potential boyfriends. They frightened us with their intensity and attitude yet they always wanted to play the innocent with the older guys whom they wanted to date". They were based on real girls who were actually scary, cynical and a nuisance to Danny and others. The Kankers are supposed to be creepy, problematic, a pain in the ass, and disgusting. One of the biggest features of this show is the gross things, disgusting the viewers, and the Kankers and them abusing the Eds and sometimes others is one of those gross things. And before anyone says something like "It's just a cartoon, it's not that deep bro", we're talking about "Ed, Edd n Eddy", a show that literally addresses domestic violence, shows the main character's redemption arc and how his brother's abuse influenced him to act the way he did, and consequently teaches about friendship, forgiveness and acceptance. It's not just a silly cartoon, it also touches on serious subjects when necessary, sometimes in a more shallow, light and humorous way, or in a more explicit and profound way, like in the movie. The Kankers are abusers, just like Eddy's brother, and his punishment in the end is precisely being abused by them. Like it or not, "Ed, Edd n Eddy" teaches us, even if unconsciously and subtly, that girls can also be abusers and boys can be victims of sexual abuse. It's a great show for a laugh, but also for learning some valuable lessons every now and then. The movie was supposed to have even more serious and touching scenes, but unfortunately they didn't fit into the available time and budget.
Then I got these:
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So, yeah... The lesson is: Don't expect a healthy in-depth dialogue about "Ed, Edd n Eddy" with people outside of Tumblr xD
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crabussy · 4 months
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IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
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fujii-draws · 17 days
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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lecliss · 24 days
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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rainswept · 2 months
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saving u all from the asshole fuckboy aventurine agenda half of this fandom is so hellbent on portraying
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
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