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atinylittlepain · 21 days

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Prologue

jackson!joel miller x witch!oc

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He thinks he might fall in love with her. She can't let him fall in love with her. Or: a reimagined take on an infamous Practical Magic au by yours truly.

wordcount | 1.8K

series content info | 18+ slowburn-ish, strangers to friends to lovers to estranged acquaintances to ???, discussions of death and grief, a little magic, just a little, jackson era joel and all that entails, eventual smut, angst obviously, and love that requires a little elbow grease.

a/n | thank you folks for your patience while I was being a little worm about this. Very excited to kick off this series, and I'd love to hear what you think <3

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There is the after, and there is the before. This is the before. In the before, there is a town nestled down in the purple-blue belly of a mountain, all shade and damp, cool green. A small town, everyone knowing everyone and everyone knew everyone as far back as history could reasonably stretch. And in this town sits a house at the end of a string of houses, sidewalk curling up in waves under the old force of tree roots, wrought iron gates and sleepy porches. Kids dare one another to step through the gate of this house. Only the bravest make it up to the porch, a quick clambering tap to the front door, wanting, but not really wanting, to see who might answer. All but one child, that is. She has no problem walking through the gate, but she’s learned to be quick in getting through the front door and slipping it shut behind her. The other kids like to throw rocks if she lingers, so she doesn’t. But there is always a sweet suspension of disbelief on the walk, before the gate, and the porch, and the slip through the front door. How nice, to have all her classmates walking her home after school.

“Did you get into any trouble today?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, always another chance tomorrow.” It’s just enough to coax a smile out of her, her aunt and all her tuts and tsks, turns of her nose and we need a brownie before we do your homework, little choice but to follow after her into the kitchen, warm and sticky, the smell of fresh yeast and something richer. Even now, even in the first gasps of Summer, a pot always boils on the stove, spoon stirring lazy inside it.

Her aunt moves like a bird she thinks. But not the delicate kind. She saw a blue heron once, at the lake outside of town. Like that, she thinks. Graceful but sharp, big and sweeping, the tails of a linen shirt, and the braid woven gray and black that hangs between her shoulder blades. All so familiar, she can’t help but sigh, cheek propped in the clammy cup of her hand.

“Something happened today.”

“You don’t say.” Her aunt, always knowing before she can tell her, sometimes even before she knows herself. She picks a chocolate chip out of the brownie split between them, holds it on her tongue and lets it melt.

“Andy Nichols broke his arm. He said there’s pins in his bones.”

“Is he the one who–” She nods before her aunt can finish her question. Yes, the one who never threw rocks at her. Yes, the one who would sit with her at lunch, not because his other friends dared him to, but because he wanted to. The one who, last week, sitting on the bleachers during recess, pressed a quick, there and gone kiss to her lips, all shy, all sweet, wings fluttering fierce in her chest. Yes, that one.

“Now he won’t even look at me. All his friends are saying I did something to him.”

“Oh, Maggie, I’m sorry. People can be, well, people suck, to speak plainly.”

“Did I?”

“Did you what?”

“Did I?” And the silence is enough of an answer, isn’t it? Her aunt’s eyes melt a little, lips pressed in a thin frown. Her aunt, who is as tired as she is, though she may do a better job of hiding it. After all, while she lost a mother, her aunt lost a sister. And the thing, that thing, this thing, that is threaded like a dark cancer through the sinew and snapping pulse of their hearts, contagious, careful or you’ll catch it. Everyone in town knows not to fall in love with a Campbell woman, a long history pocked with strange deaths, unexplainable misfortune. Her father wasn’t from town though, the first mistake of many.

‘It’s best if you don’t think on it, hmm?” Quiet and close in the kitchen, she does her best not to cry, feeling weak, a little wilted. One of those hugs that presses all the air out of her lungs, she needed it, breathing in deep, soap and sweat and soil and my little witch, we have work to do.

Homework doesn’t really mean homework in their house. Not the paper she’s supposed to be writing on the civil war, not studying for the math test she has on Friday. Homework means her and her aunt in the greenhouse, and her aunt quizzing her on the plants they tend to. What is what, what does what.

Lemon balm for stress and sleep. Also used to treat cold sores.

Echinacea for immunity.

Peppermint for nausea and headaches.

Belladonna for sleep, handle with care.

It comes easily to her, the same way that knowing things comes easily to her aunt. Plants, she thinks, make more sense than people do. It takes them a few hours to work through the greenhouse, night coming on in a swath of orange that smolders purple, cool shadows filtering in through green glass. They prune, they water, they propagate, and her aunt must think her extra pitiful tonight because she offers to teach her a few new tricks. The offer falls flat, however, when the prickled sound of scratching shivers up her spine. She knows it well, imagines that she could hear it from all the way across town at this point. The back door, nails skittering over its window panes, face pressed to glass, smeared shame, or maybe just a secret. All that’s needed, a look shared between them, no words. She stays in the greenhouse, closes the door behind her aunt, but leaves it cracked. She shouldn’t, but she likes to listen.

What she hears is always the same. Variations of desperation, I want, I want, I want, I need, I need, I need, him, him, him, her, her, her. How badly? So badly. Anything? Yes, anything. She’s watched a few times, peering around the doorway into the kitchen. All kinds of ways to meddle, to tangle threads, cut them loose, pick your poison, pick your pleasure. Her aunt tries to keep her away from it, the dark, crawling things, the needles, the wax dolls washed in smoke plumes. But she knows. Love is an ugly thing.

She doesn’t watch tonight, hardly listens either. Something else on her mind, in her hands. She plucks rose petals, lavender, rosemary, fills her hands with the rumpled things, says what she planned to say.

He’ll ride horses, talk to them too.

He’ll work with his hands.

There’ll be a streak of silver at his temple.

When we’re together, he’ll be able to stop time.

“Are you casting impossible spells again?” Her aunt catches her just as she’s stepping out into the backyard, damp grass and cicada thrum and the moon.

“I hope so. I hope it’s impossible.” They stand in the cool, damp grass, all that heat dropping down into a low mist around their ankles. And her aunt knows exactly what she’s doing. Afterall, she was the one who taught her this. Somewhere between a love spell and a prayer, though she hopes hers is more like a curse.

“There’s no taking something like this back, Maggie. Are you sure you want to do this?” She nods, says yes, and it’s enough for her aunt to stand down, giving her space to finish the rest of it. Intention, energy, that other word that people like to throw around She focuses on the words and the words become something other than words, and the petals and leaves lift from her hands. The moon takes care of the rest.

“I hope I never fall in love.”

The thing about spells is they always find somewhere to land, even the impossible ones. And somewhere in the before, that impossible spell found its target. Cupid’s arrow bent and broken, though still able to sting sharp. Somewhere in the before, a boy in another town in another life, young knees working hard to make the thin tires of a bike spin, already late heading home for dinner in the cooling night.

The boy’s mother hears him before she sees him, big, hot tears and ribs shaking with sobs she doesn’t often get to hear anymore, getting older, trying to get braver. The boy is bleeding, the boy is crying. The soft round of his palms scraped and stuck with gravel, and his knees no better, all down his shins, and he didn’t mean to cry, didn’t want to cry, but walking the rest of the way home, wrestling with the crooked handlebars of his bike, the feeling and the pain got too big, and he didn’t know what else to do with it.

“Oh honey, what happened?” His words come out in stops and starts, little stuttered gasps. I fell, gets strung into a few extra syllables, already ushering him upstairs and into the bathroom, the sharp smell of this’ll sting, cotton gauze getting stuck in the blood.

In the before, still young, the boy is a soft thing. He cries easily, and he doesn’t like that. Cries when he’s angry, when he’s hurt, when he’s frustrated. Cries harder when he cries because he wishes he wouldn’t cry, even if the words for such a feeling are still too old for him. Somewhere along the way, the boy will lose that. The boy will lose so much. But for now, his mother is making all the big and little hurts better, box fan humming in the cracked window in the bathroom, his brother, even younger, watching through the slivered opening of the door.

For now, the boy lets his eyes close, sticky with salt and the last wandering tears, and he wonders if he really saw what he thought he saw, what stunned him so snappingly that he flew head over handlebars onto the still-simmering asphalt. A blurred vision, blink and miss it, though even so, he’s still sure of what he saw. A rose bush, a sudden burst and bloom and flashbang, nothing and then something and then everything. Blooms that unfurled their skirts as fast as he was riding by, until what had been only green was blotted out entirely by heavy white petals. The boy will lose this memory with time, reasoning it away as an impossible imagining, something from a young mind that will no longer be his. But while the boy is still young, still a soft thing, he will think to himself with a kind of secret wonder that whatever he saw that night, it had to be magic.

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taglist: @suzmagine @joelsgreys @vee-bees-blog @noisynightmarepoetry @kungfucapslock @iloveenya @evolnoomym @wannab-urs

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller au #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #apothecary gv

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amerie-wadia · 1 year

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meg’s obx s3 thoughts (don’t read if you enjoy jiara or don’t want to read spoilers)

overall thoughts:

plot—i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, i do not care about the gold plot. i like obx for the fun and goofy summer teen vibes with some messy romance and that silliness that we haven’t really seen since season 1 despite tiny one or two line teases of it every so often. i don’t care about the gold and i don’t think anybody should be that rich to have that gold and seeing the kids at the end with all that money just felt SO weird in like a fanfiction i wrote at 13 sort of way. secondly, too much adults this season. yeah i’m an adult and i usually enjoy a good adult pov in a teen show but these adults are off the rails so it’s not like a splash of maturity and groundedness it’s just straight up murder and child ab*se. the only good adults on this show are the heyward parents and we barely got to see them but i’ll give the writers what we did see was so warm and inviting and felt like the only safe space of this entire series. finally, although there’s so much to touch on, the poguelandia bit really broke my suspension of disbelief bc where was the body hair and grease and sunburn?? i know this show is written purely to be a male fantasy but let’s be real.

characters:

pope—number one character third season ina row!! he was amazing and is always amazing. it hurt seeing how pope was hurting because of his breakup with kie but i’m glad they didn’t brush it all over and pretend it was nothing to him the way they wrote it for kie. it also felt realistically in character for the academic burnout and perfectionism to spiral when pope got back and temporarily drops out of school, but i’m so happy that it quickly got resolved of course with the help of popes loving support system. slay baby!!

sarah—babygirl was a standout to me this season. i enjoyed her in s1 and was extremely bored of her in s2 but she came right back around and basically took all the screen time and did not disappoint. i mean, she did cheat on john b and that’s icky but i’m not saying she’s a good person her character was just really fun to watch if that makes sense. i’m still waiting for us to learn ANYTHING about sarah (or kie or any woman on this damn boat show) because right now sarah cameron is just an enigma and not much a human person. but madelyn can act!!

kie—well, i really enjoyed kie in season 1 and i kind of felt meh in s2 and this season i’m just not able to enjoy her character anymore. the rich girl who wants to be edgy thing is getting old and like yeah i get feeling connected to your friends but babes being a “pogue” (i cringe every time i hear it especially at this point in the show) is about growing up with all the cards stacked against you and being a poor kid on a super rich touristy island and like yeah the “kook” kids are rich assholes but kie needs to stop getting so heated when people call her a kook because she is. anyway. i’m sorry but kie is just such a missed opportunity because the writers refuse to give her any sort of dimension besides being a not-like-other-girls girl and literally all of her scenes were either being an unhinged 16 year old trying to go dangerously flee to south or central america or jiara or with rafe cameron and i just couldn’t enjoy any of her scenes. i’ve given up on obx writing even one decent female character.

jj—i can’t stand him anymore. i know, i know, he’s the boy of the moment but at this point he’s gained zero character development and all the other characters are off the rails so he feels so much less banana pants as he did the first season. and again, with no time for goofy silliness his character just faded into the background for me. i would’ve loved to see literally anything in the way of character growth, like he could’ve have a good going back to school ark alongside pope or maybe gotten at job at heywards or anything but all of his scenes were either jb side kick or jiara and his actual character just fell flat for me.

cleo—i want a flushed out female character SO badly!!!!!!!! i can’t wait for fanfic writers to give her some personality of her own because she and pope have fabulous chemistry and i’m rooting for them but i barely know who she is.

john b—he got absolutely played this season. he’s grown on me a lot since season 1 but then he started to beat topper into oblivion and it really brought me right back to not liking this kid. i mean get that he’d just seen his dad murder people and that’s super traumatic but like this show is already enough toxic masculinity and i just need him to find a different way to express himself. i know obx writers are not at all concerned with being socially progressive or conscious in any way shape or form but watching this show as an adult woman is just ~shakes head~

relationships:

sarah and john b—are they married? lmao i don’t remember this at all. the wiki page says not legally so i don’t even know but that seems on brand for the level of chaos that is this show. i feel like they’ve reached a point where they don’t need to be together. like, i’m sorry but if sarah or john b were my friends i’d give them the advice to break up. like jb she cheated on you with an ex at the very first fight. and sarah, please just get with a guy who’s stable and kind and not physically or verbally violent with you or anyone else. plus the chemistry was all off this season so even in their good moments it just felt like a sinking ship to me.

jj and kie—if you follow my blog you know my take on this ship. i tried to go in open minded but the writing was so poor that it didn’t feel natural at all. the thing that really got to me was the “jayj” nickname. i know it was all fanservice and the nickname is popular in the fandom but kie nor anybody else has EVER called him that prior to this season and it just felt so forced and weird. like she’s always called him jj and that’s already a nickname. whatever. i also wonder what actual jiara shippers think because i thought any natural chemistry was crushed with how awful the writing was. don’t get me started on the entire weird dynamic with jj breaking her out and driving her around on his dirt bike in a high speed chase without a helmet on.

pope and cleo—fantastic natural chemistry and probably the most likeable couple this season imo. i wish cleo was flushed out and had her own characterization and layers because they have a lot of potential. they’re fanfic-trope heavy as well but with tropes i like so i’ll allow it. cleo getting along with popes family was so cute to watch and the way she and popes dad joked around was so natural and sweet.

final thoughts:

this was pretty negative and yeah i didn’t know if i was going to even watch the new season because it feeling kind of bored and meh after s2, but i needed something lighthearted to watch and i wanted to see where they were going to go with the story, especially for pope because he really is one of my favorite characters atm. regardless, at this point i don’t know if i’m gonna stick around for the next season or not. it’s really hard to watch a show that is as strong of a male fantasy as this one. like there are no fleshed out female characters, no queer characters, and it’s so hard to relate to what any of these characters are going through because they’re living on deserted islands with shaved legs and bumping off of yachts to and from central and south america to go fight mob bosses and find an ancient city that was so easy to find i was shed of my suspension of disbelief. last thought, the dynamite scene was so wtf because why’d he bring it (1) and (2) for that much money people could just absolutely mine that mountain, so it’s absolutely not “giving up the gold for his son” kind of redemption arc that isn’t possible for his character after all big john has done.

those are my thoughts. argue with me if you want but if you follow my blog you likely agree with some of these takes.

#meg watches obx s3 #obx spoilers #might go back and delete this but needed to get my thoughts out bc nobody in my life watches this show and i need to vent on the web #so many typos but it’s the middle of the night and im on my phone whatever #meg shut up

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whereisten · 4 years

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I Think We’re Alone Now

A Jaemin fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Your Spring Break plans change at the last minute when the campus heartthrob asks you to join him and the popular kids to your nemesis’ cabin.

Pairing: college student! Jaemin x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, mystery, suspense, horror, crime

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: Bullying, body image mention, gore, violence, death

(A/N): SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL KRYS FOR THIS DELICIOUS MOODBOARD. SHE IS AN AMAZING ARTISTE. I AM IN AWE. I hope my story does this moodboard justice and I hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for the support!

___

Spring Break was imminent for the kids of Guang University. It was your freshman year and your friends all had different plans. You planned to stay home and get a head start on your homework and catch up on all of your favorite Korean dramas.

You headed out of the school with Haechan, your best friend. He had plans to go visit his family in South Korea for a couple of days. You were bummed that your closest friend wouldn’t be in town for the break.

“You sure you don’t want to come to Seoul with me? We might bump into Ji Chang Wook. You never know.” Ji Chang Wook was your celebrity crush.

You balanced your giant biology textbook while you tried to find your phone. “That’s tempting but I have a big exam right after break and I’ve been behind for weeks...So now I have to cram.”

Haechan sighed. “Y/n, you need to give yourself some down time.”

You frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Haechan sighed. “You haven’t come out to any parties in the past two months.”

You sighed. “Well...”

Haechan whined. “You’re supposed to be my party buddy...”

“Well, party buddy, then explain Daniela, Hazel, and Ally,” you said, calling out your best friend for not being so lonely at these parties after all.

“I-“ Haechan started.

Before Haechan could explain, a group of girls you’d tried so hard to avoid walked by and “accidentally” bumped into you, making you drop your book to the ground.

The girl who bumped into you turned and laughed. “I’m SO sorry. Maybe if you didn’t take up so much space, it wouldn’t have happened.”

The other girls laughed as they began to saunter off.

You groaned. You thought bullies retired once they graduated from high school when reality finally gave them a slap to the face.

Well, unfortunately for you, the mean girls from your old high school were smart enough to get into your dream school so you now occasionally saw them. And worse, shared a biology lab with them. The head of the pack, Heather, always had it out for you for always beating her for the best grade in class. You’d get a 94 and she’d get a 93. You were just happy to get an A and she was furious she wasn’t number 1. You guessed it had to do with her superiority complex and how she had to please her wealthy parents.

Haechan yelled, “Heather, what the hell-“

Heather started, “What? It’s a simple observation.”

Well, not everyone could be a size 0 like Heather. You knew that you had a healthy body shape. Sure, you know you could use improvements but you were human. No one was perfect. Nothing Heather could say could make you think she was right. She was just a hater.

“Have a nice break, Heather. Maybe your dad will finally come home,” you said as you grabbed Haechan’s hand and walked off.

“Hey! y/n, get back here!” Heather demanded. Her dad and her mom were separated for a while now and he was never home to spend time with his precious daughter.

Heather’s bark had always been bigger than her bite. So you didn’t let her words get to you. Not anymore.

___

Haechan went home while you waited to call an Uber to take you to the record store across town. You may as well go out and do one fun thing before you hunkered down at home for the break.

That was when you heard someone sobbing hard. And you couldn’t help but find the source.

The boy sat down on a bench by the bus stop. It was the campus heartthrob, Na Jaemin. You’d shared a couple of lectures with him this year. He was very sweet, always had something to compliment you on. Your hair, your lipstick, your outfit.

Well, then he would proceed to ask for help with assignments but you appreciated getting paid with flattery.

You frowned. “A-are you okay?” You started. “Do you need help?”

Jaemin looked up as tears ran down his beautifully sculpted face. His eyes widened at the sight of you. He wiped his tears away with his jacket sleeve. He shook his head. “Y/n! Hey, I’m…okay…I just-“

You sat down beside him and pulled an unopened bottle of water out of your backpack. You handed it to him. “Here.”

He looked down at it and asked, “Are you sure?”

You nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” he said, managing a half-smile.

He drank from it as you waited.

He exhaled in satisfaction. “Thank you, y/n. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like this. School and work have been so stressful…I just needed to let it all out.”

You hesitated before you put a hand on his back. You moved it gently against his muscular upper back. “I’m sorry…Do you…wanna talk about it?”

Jaemin froze and debated telling you. “I got fired from my job…” He admitted.

You removed your hand from his back. “Jaemin, that’s terrible…I’m so sorry…What happened?”

He shook his head. “The boss was kinda harsh. I couldn’t take it. I slipped up once and I got the ax.”

You tried to meet his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jaemin.”

Jaemin managed a smile for you. “Thank you, y/n. You’re always sweet. Always good. I’m glad you’re here with me.” He placed a hand over yours.

This may or may not have made you want to scream with excitement. But your better judgment told you to contain yourself because Jaemin was upset.

Your little moment was interrupted by Heather and her cohorts.

Heather stood in front of Jaemin, noticing his red eyes “Oh, Nana, what’s wrong?”

Jaemin didn’t look all that thrilled to see Heather either. “It’s nothing…Don’t worry about it.”

“Because if y/n is bothering you, she should leave. Isn’t that right, y/n?” Heather turned to you with her hands on her hips.

You were about to snap when Jaemin beat you to it. “Actually, Heather, she’s not. So what can I do for you so you can leave faster?”

Heather looked at her group in shock. Her minions all let out audible gasps and whispers. “Jaemin...”

“I’m waiting,” Jaemin said, a new commanding tone overtaking him.

“We wanted to know if you’re coming to my cabin this weekend.” She tried to come off flirtatious but after his rebuff, she was confused.

“Maybe,” Jaemin replied, “If y/n comes.”

“What?” You and Heather exclaimed.

“I’ll go if y/n goes,” Jaemin said resolutely.

You started, “Jaemin, I-”

Jaemin interrupted. “I need this, y/n. A time to get away. And if you come, I would love it…” He said softly, almost intimately…Like no one else was around.

You’d had a crush on Jaemin since the first day of Intro to Theater. Jaemin was a tremendous actor. He was an excellent Demetrius to your Helena in your act for A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Jaemin was always so nice. You thought the most he would do for you is give you a dollar for the vending machine. And that would’ve made your heart soar to the moon.

It was odd that you were considering going somewhere to hang out with Heather and her friends...But you did want to get to know Jaemin more.

What about your homework?

Well, it could wait.

And what about Heather?

Well, pissing off Heather was a hobby of yours.

One of Heather’s friends coughed. And Heather rolled her eyes. “Fine. Meet at my house at 7 AM tomorrow.”

___

Your older sister Sophie drove you to Heather’s. “Why are you going to Lucifer's spawn’s cabin?”

You sighed. “Because a cute boy asked me to.”

Sophie put the car in park right in front of Heather’s mansion. She looked at you in disbelief and fascination. “A boy?”

You said, “He wanted me to come.”

Sophie laughed. “Well, y/n, he must be very cute if you’re willing to hang out with Her Royal Darkness.”

“Like her ego, I’m sure the cabin is big enough so I don’t have to see her.”

You were both so distracted that you didn’t notice Jaemin knock on your passenger side window. He smiled brightly. Wow, he looked incredible for someone who woke up and texted you good morning at 5:30 AM.

“Wow,” your sister said, in shock from Jaemin’s beauty. She rolled down your window.

“Ready to go, y/n?” Jaemin asked. You saw the expectant look in his eyes. He was radiant and much more relaxed. You were so happy to see him. He seemed to feel a lot better.

“Jaemin, this is my older sister, Sophie,” you said, “Sophie, this is my friend Jaemin.”

They shook hands and Sophie muttered, “You better tell me everything when you get back. And that I am the maid of honor at your wedding.”

“Bye, Sophie! We’ll go on our run together when I come back on Sunday, okay?” You said louder to deflect from what Jaemin could’ve overheard. You and Sophie ran together every weekend for stress relief and bonding time. You got out of the car and hoped Jaemin hadn’t heard anything.

Jaemin offered to give you a ride on his Jeep Explorer to Heather’s cabin, much to Heather’s disappointment. Heather’s friends were riding with her.

You and Jaemin had fun on the road for two hours, just the two of you. You enjoyed some old school Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and Britney Spears. You snagged the CDs from your sister’s collection.

“Every little thing I do never seems enough for you!” You and Jaemin sang.

You too had gotten off the route to get snacks at a convenience store and because Jaemin needed to fill up his tank. He insisted you put your wallet away. He bought all of your favorite junk food essentials: M&Ms, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Coke, Orange Fanta. This boy knew his way into your heart.

“So, y/n, what’s your end goal in life?” He asked as he continued the route to Heather’s cabin. “You strike me as an aspiring pediatrician...Saving the children!”

You laughed at his enthusiasm. “I’d like to be a physical therapist. My parents got into a car accident when I was nine...My mom was fine but my dad broke his right leg and right arm. He needed to get physical therapy in order to walk properly again...I went with him to almost all of his appointments. I have a lot of respect for physical therapists after how much they helped him…”

“I’m glad your dad recovered,” Jaemin said as he gave you a quick smile before gluing his eyes back onto the road.

“Me, too...But...my end goal in life? Honestly, I just want my own space to dance around in...With no shame.”

Jaemin chuckled. “No shame, huh? Does that mean you’re a terrible dancer?”

You smacked him. “No. Well, I’m sure there are worse dancers.”

He laughed harder. “Okay...I believe you.”

You laughed. “What about you, Jaemin? What’s your end goal?”

He sighed. “Start up my own content-creating company...I’m into traveling and uncovering hidden gems. Be the next big thing after Buzzfeed Unsolved.”

“Those are some pretty big shoes to fill…” You started.

Jaemin sounded unsure. “Yeah…”

You smiled, “I know you can do it. You’ve got a subscriber in me.”

Jaemin faked a tear. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

You both laughed again as you reached for the M&Ms and your hands touched. You quickly pulled away, embarrassed. But Jaemin smiled to himself.

Jaemin said, “But as cheesy as it sounds...I want to get married, get a big house, and fill it with twelve children.”

You coughed. “Twelve? Are you and your future wife thinking of splitting the pregnancies up?”

Jaemin laughed. “Okay, maybe not twelve...But a family of my own is my dream. My parents split up when I was five so...I’ve split my time between two homes and it was an awkward feeling, especially after both of my parents remarried.”

“Oh…” You said. You couldn’t exactly sympathize with him because your parents were happily married so you didn’t want to say anything that could rub him the wrong way. That was the last thing you wanted.

“I want to be with that one person...For the rest of my life...When I meet her, I’ll know.” He said, giving you a meaningful look.

You had no idea how to process that so you took a sip of your blue raspberry ICEE and held it in the air, awkwardly. “Here’s to you finding your soulmate someday.”

He chuckled. “Thank you.”

___

You arrived at Heather’s summer home...Well, she called it a cabin. But it was actually a mansion by the beach. It was gorgeous. Something straight out of a movie. It looked like it could be its own hotel resort. You realized that there was a good chance you’d have your own room.

“This house is huge!” You exclaimed.

Jaemin looked along with you as he handed you your bag. “What a shame. I was hoping we would room together.” He said softly into your ear.

You turned to him in shock and he shot you his infamous flirty grin. This boy had you thinking he liked you and he’d better stop before you tried to kiss him.

Heather handed everyone keys to their bedrooms. “If any of you lose this copy, I can’t help you.” She made sure to say that as she handed you your keys.

You went up the stairs of the beach house and chose the last room on the left. You were unlocking the door to your room when someone from behind you tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey, you’re y/n, right?” You recognized Yangyang from your mandatory PE class. You both took Intermediate Swimming, a class where as long as you flailed in the water and passed the easy quizzes, you’d be guaranteed an A.

You nodded. “And you’re…”

He said, “I’m Yangyang. It’s so nice to see you here!”

“You, too,” you said, averting your eyes once again. Yangyang was pretty attractive and you hoped he didn’t remember you and your Sailor Moon one piece. You always tried to be one of the first in the water and the last to leave when it came to your swimming class.

Even though Heather’s comments were nothing to you, it didn’t mean you were completely immune to the hurt it caused.

“You were in Coach Emerson’s swim class, right? You had the iconic Sailor Moon swimsuit.”

And there went the rest of your hopes and dreams. “Y-yeah…”

He laughed. “Don’t be embarrassed. I had Dragon Ball Z swim trunks.”

“Really?” You said.

Yangyang pretended to be hurt and winced. “I thought you’d be the one to notice.”

“Well...I’m not exactly looking at anyone’s...body…” You said, cringing at your words.

He laughed. “Fair point. I just liked the pattern. Your favorite character is Sailor Mars, right?”

You nodded, “Hell yeah. She’s the best.”

“I’m more of a Sailor Venus guy, myself,” he replied.

“Good taste. But all of the Sailor Scouts are queens,” you started.

“No question,” Yangyang said. “Hey, do you-” His phone started to ring. “Sorry, y/n...I gotta take this.”

You waved goodbye to him and entered your spacious bedroom. As much as Heather despised you and you despised her, her family had excellent taste in real estate. The queen-sized bed was plush like a cloud straight from heaven. You pulled the window up to feel the ocean breeze. It was paradise.

You heard a knock at your door an hour later. It was Jaemin.

“Wanna go for a walk?” He asked.

“Sure!” You said, having already changed into a sundress.

Jaemin thought you looked stunning. Well, you always did. He was so happy to be here with you. Otherwise, he may not have gone on this trip.

Jaemin led you to the beach where you let your toes touch the water. He teased you by splashing you. And you splashed him back until you both were soaked.

You both laughed so hard that you toppled over each other, you on top of Jaemin. You both stared at each other for a long time. Jaemin closed his eyes, his long eyelashes caressing his cheeks. He waited for you to kiss him.

You moved closer and your lips met his. His lips tasted salty thanks to you and your merciless splashing. But the kiss was everything. It was fireworks at the end of a perfect night. It was hot chocolate on a warm winter night. It was like an angel held you and you snuggled against his wings. The kiss was perfect.

You two let go and Jaemin bit his lip. “So.”

You stood there, frozen. “So…”

“So...we did that.”

You nodded. “Indeed we did.”

“Thoughts?” He looked at you with his big brown eyes.

You cleared your throat. “Well...I certainly wouldn’t mind doing that again.”

Jaemin’s big gorgeous goofy smile came back full force at hearing you. He cupped your face in his hands and was about to kiss you again.

“Guys!” Naeun called out to you. “Have you seen Yangyang?”

You and Jaemin pulled yourselves apart. You answered, “Last time I saw him was when he went to his room. Is everything okay?”

“He wasn’t answering his phone...And I found it in his room.” She held up his phone that had a Dragon Ball Z pop socket on the back of it.

You frowned. “That’s weird.”

Jaemin offered. “Maybe he went for a walk. Got some fresh air?”

“Maybe…” Naeun thought and you nodded. “If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him and that I’m pissed.”

“Okay,” you said.

Naeun stomped away, frustrated.

“Now where were-” you started.

Jaemin already pulled you in for another kiss. He pinned you down against the shoreline and trailed your neck with his kisses.

You breathed heavily as you held him tightly.

He looked at you, as if asking you something.

You gave him a look. “What’s up?”

“Do you want to…” His eyes moved down to his pelvic region where his member was protruding through the fabric of his trunks.

Your eyes widened at how big he was. And your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you realized what he was asking. “Oh…”

Jaemin waited for you patiently.

Things were moving too fast. You were more than happy to kiss Jaemin all night but you really weren’t ready to have sex. Not tonight, anyway.

You already knew the answer. “I’m sorry Jaemin. I do like you but...I’m...not ready. I should go…” You got up but Jaemin stopped you. It was like a romantic Korean drama scene, except instead of your wrist ...He grabbed your ankle.

“It’s okay...You don’t have to go. Please don’t go…” He begged as he made a puppy dog pout.

You laughed, relieved. “Okay okay...You can stop making that face.”

Jaemin pouted his lips even more. “What face?”

You rolled your eyes and splashed him. You and Jaemin spent a couple of hours on the beach, kissing and talking. You wrapped up and he walked you to your bedroom.

___

You woke up early the next morning to hear screaming and crying. You got out of bed and ran out the door.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, finding Naeun devastated on the floor. Heather sat down with her on the ground and consoled her.

“Yangyang…” She said between sobs. “He’s gone!”

Renjun looked grave as he handed you his phone. “We all got these messages. Did you, y/n?”

You looked at what was on Renjun’s phone screen and there was a video of Yangyang, bound up and gagged. Tears streamed down his eyes. He mumbled loudly for help.

Tears fell out of your eyes. “What the hell is this?”

You couldn’t believe it. You’d just had a whole conversation with him yesterday. He was friendly and funny…

And now he was like this.

Jaemin replied, “Someone’s idea of a sick joke...I don’t recommend looking at the rest of the story, y/n…”

You ignored him and kept watching. The next video pointed to a wall and you could hear Yangyang clearly now...He was yelling. “No! Who are you? Why are you doing this? Stop! Nooooooo!” The video cut off after that. The last picture was of Yangyang with his throat slit with text that read: “Wonder who will be next...It’s anyone’s guess, really. 🧐 #springbreak2020”

You ran into the bathroom and threw up. The rest of the group followed you into the bathroom. “Well, y/n?” Tzuyu started.

“Well, what?” You asked.

“Show us your phone,” Tzuyu demanded.

“Why?” You asked.

Jaemin intervened, “Why are you guys ganging up on her?”

“We’ve checked everyone’s phones...Now we want to see y/n’s,” Tzuyu said, a vindictive look in her eyes.

“Fine,” you said. You pulled it out of your pocket and you were shocked to find the messages on your phone.

“Someone sent them to her, too. She’s as innocent as the rest of us,” Renjun said.

Tzuyu frowned. “Okay…”

She seemed disappointed that you weren’t the culprit. You wondered why Tzuyu hated you. She was merely one of Heather’s followers so you guessed she would hate anyone Heather hated no matter what.

Still, this didn’t alleviate any of your worries. Someone kidnapped and murdered Yangyang overnight. And whoever that was remained close by.

And they weren’t finished.

Unfortunately for all of you, your cell reception was weak so you couldn’t contact the police. You were on the verge of a panic attack.

Renjun decided, “We should try going to the next town to get reception.”

Tzuyu started, “You are not leaving me here.”

“Fine, we’ll go together.” He said as they both walked off and borrowed Heather’s car.

___

You sat in the living room, scared to be in your room all alone. Hell, you didn’t mind being with Heather and Naeun. Jaemin was making lunch in the kitchen for you guys.

It had been a few hours since Renjun and Tzuyu left. Now you were all getting worried. The next town wasn’t that far off, according to Heather. So something was up.

And you wondered if it had been a good idea for them to leave. Maybe they had been just as much in danger as the rest of you. Whoever the killer was...He had resources to be anywhere at any time. It gave you shivers.

“Y/n, can you get Naeun a glass of water?” Heather asked you.

You nodded and met Jaemin in the kitchen. You asked him once again, “Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”

Jaemin shook his head. “I’ve got this.” He said as he finished making lasagna.

You got a glass of water for Naeun. “Jaemin, I’m scared,” you said.

Jaemin looked rattled up, too, but he seemed to be holding it together for the rest of you. And it meant a lot to you.

The four of you sat down to eat quietly. Naeun barely took a bite of her lasagna.

Not too long after, she started wheezing. Hives broke out onto her skin. “Epi...Pen...Heather.”

Heather jumped out of her seat. “I’ll go get it!”

“Oh God,” you panicked. “You need air! Let’s go outside, Naeun.”

You and Jaemin helped her out to the front door so she can breathe better. You were praying Heather found her EpiPen soon.

Heather returned, upset, “Are you sure it’s in your purse? I couldn’t find it.”

Naeun nodded. “Yes…”

When you realized Naeun’s EpiPen was missing, you ran up to your room and grabbed yours. “I brought mine!”

“Hurry up!” Heather said.

You ran back down and Naeun was able to get the injection she needed to recover from her reaction.

Heather took Naeun up to her room to recover.

“I wonder what Naeun was allergic to…” You said to Jaemin.

Jaemin frowned. “I don’t know...I had no idea she had severe allergies. Maybe it was in one of the ingredients but I’m not sure which one…God, I feel terrible.” He put his face in his hands.

“Hey, it’s okay...It was an accident...She’ll be okay,” you said as you hugged him.

“It was a good thing you had your EpiPen, y/n...You’re amazing…”

“Or I just have severe allergies, too,” you said.

He laughed awkwardly. “Right…”

Even more hours passed. Renjun and Tzuyu haven’t returned. Everyone was antsy.

You and Jaemin were going to go out and look for them but you were shocked to find his tires had been slit recently.

This wasn’t a coincidence. The killer was watching your every move. You wondered if he had gotten to Renjun and Tzuyu. Your throat dried up at just thinking that.

You and Heather grabbed weapons from her father’s shed, which included gardening shears and hunting rifles.

Heather taught you how to handle the rifle. You both went back into the house with your weapons in tow. You all made sure to shut all of the windows and close all of the doors. You scoured the entire property. No one can come in. And no could come out. You hoped there wasn’t some random secret entrance to this house that rich people always seemed to have in the movies. You all reluctantly headed to bed.

You sat up on the edge of your bed. You were comfortable in a concert tee and some shorts. You wanted to wear something that would be easy to run in. Just in case the killer would come for you next.

Jaemin was at your door. “Hey…Heather and Naeun both fell asleep.”

“How can they be asleep...I can’t sleep knowing that that bastard is out there…” You said.

Jaemin walked into the room. “Can I sit with you?”

You nodded. “Jaemin, what are we going to do...We can’t just stay here. We're sitting ducks. Renjun and Tzuyu are just gone...And we don’t know when or even if they're coming back…”

Jaemin rubbed your back in small circles. His touch was distracting. Kissing Jaemin would be a great distraction.

Making love to him would be even better.

That would be ridiculous. The last thing you wanted to do was have sex when a murderer was afoot. That would be a total cliche.

Jaemin replied. “I’m sorry, y/n...I think our best bet is to wait it out until morning and go to the next town on foot.”

You nodded. “Yeah...Maybe daytime will be safer.”

Jaemin nodded. “Why don’t you go to sleep and I’ll take the first shift?”

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah, I’m wired. I had three cups of coffee in the past hour. You need to rest, y/n.” Jaemin said as he pulled the covers over you. “I’ll come back to wake you. I’ll be on guard.” He grabbed one of the hunting rifles he left outside the door.

“Thank you,” you said as you shut your eyes. Sleep quickly took over.

___

You were quickly shaken awake. “Y/n get the fuck up!” Heather hissed.

“Heather?” You exclaimed.

She shushed you. “Shut up. You need to come with me right now.”

“What’s wrong?” You whispered.

Heather made sure your door was locked before she returned back to you. “Naeun is dead.”

You looked carefully at Heather and had seen that she’d been crying. “What?” You asked. “That’s impossible.”

“We shouldn’t have left her alone. She said she was fine. She seemed fine. I went to check on her and...she wasn’t breathing. And...I think she was smothered, y/n.”

“Wait...Are you saying…”

“The killer is Jaemin,” Heather said.

“What? Why would you say that?” You shook your head.

“Think about it, y/n. None of us has good reception here so how is that we got those texts about Yangyang? The killer had to be in close proximity to us. Tzuyu and Renjun left in my car, which he probably messed with so they got into an accident...And...I don’t even want to say what could’ve happened...Whatever Jaemin put in the lasagna almost killed Naeun. Then, her EpiPen fucking disappeared. And then, conveniently right after, his tires were slit. And now, since he couldn’t finish the job the first time, he smothered Naeun to death.”

“Heather...Jaemin wouldn’t…” You started.

“I know...I had my doubts, too, but...he gave me some calming tea before I went to sleep...When it cooled down, I tested it...It’s been drugged.”

Your heart sank. “How do you know?”

“My dad’s company is working with the nail polish that can track date rape drugs. My painted nail changed color when I tested it out. Jaemin tried to drug me, y/n…” She showed you her neon green polish and the one fingernail that turned black.

You covered your hand over your mouth.

“I had a feeling he would come check up on me so I tossed some of the tea down the drain and pretended I was asleep. He came back to check that I was asleep, y/n...That’s just creepy. Why the hell would he need to drug me?”

Not knowing how to answer, you started, “Heather...Maybe…”

Jaemin surprised you both by breaking the wood of the door down with an ax. He made a big enough hole to unlock the door from the inside.

You and Heather yelled. Jaemin heard everything.

Jaemin started. “Heather, why are you up? I thought I was going to take care of you tomorrow in my grand finale…”

“Shit,” Heather said as she got closer to you.

“Jaemin? What grand finale?” You demanded. “What is going on?”

Jaemin smiled wide at you. “Sweetheart, I thought I told you to sleep.”

The look in Jaemin’s eyes became cold...Calculating.

“y/n...It’s no accident that I asked for you to come on this trip…” Jaemin said as he pulled a knife out of his pocket and twirled it around his hand. “I thought you’d partake in the festivities…”

“What festivities?” Heather demanded. “Why the fuck did you try to drug me? Why did you kill Naeun? What the hell did she do to you?”

Jaemin tsked as he met Heather’s eyes. “Why wouldn’t I kill Naeun? Why wouldn’t I kill them all? Think about it, you ungrateful little brat.”

You found yourself moving closer to Heather then for she was your only living ally. Albeit the biggest bitch in the land.

Jaemin killed everyone.

Jaemin was the killer.

Heather shook her head. “Jaemin, stay the fuck away from us. I swear to God. Or I’ll-”

Jaemin chuckled. “You’ll what? Call Daddy? Call Mommy? They’re both abroad, never giving a second thought about their spoiled daughter...Those two think you couldn’t be safer and more comfortable…It’s ridiculous...A girl who has everything...Takes it upon herself to put others down...You’ve put y/n down for years...You’ve never let go your childish and petty hatred for her...And for what reason?”

Heather’s resolve faded when she realized what you had.

“Jaemin…” You started.

“Y/n, did you not realize that each person on this trip has fucked with you one way or another?” He asked.

Well, the girls were bitches, yes, but…

“Naeun was the one who spread that rumor about you getting your breast implants...Tzuyu was the one who nearly ran you over in the student parking lot...Renjun body shamed you in the boys’ locker room...And Yangyang told us all that he wanted to take your virginity this weekend…”

“Jaemin!” Heather exclaimed.

“You should’ve been careful with who you added in your group chat full of morons, Heather....Ah, and Heather, dear...you’re the ringleader in all of this...You goaded Naeun and Tzuyu to do these things to y/n. You’ve set out to put y/n down for a long time now. You even went along with Renjun and Yangyang’s comments about y/n’s body...Fuck you, by the way, she’s perfect in every way...And I should’ve made them all go through slower...more painful deaths for all of the things you said about her...”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You had no idea that even boys were targeting you...First off, you literally just breathed. The girls were childish and petty but…

“Jaemin,” you said.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Jaemin asked with a kinder smile to you.

“What they all did to me was wrong...But you didn’t have to…”

Jaemin’s eyes widened. “Kill them? Well, it wasn’t up to you...All of these people are worthless scum that won’t amount to much, honestly….So was it really a waste?”

Heather surprised you by pulling a handgun out of her pocket. She shot Jaemin in the chest. “y/n, let’s go!” She pulled you out of the bed and you both ran for your lives.

“Agh!” Jaemin groaned as he fell to the ground.

You both ran down the stairs. Heather unlocked the front door, knowing the house was no longer safe.

You both ran down the steps of the entrance. You had to pull Heather with you because she ran too slow for you. Then, you heard a gunshot.” Heather fell down. She’d been shot in the foot. “Fuck!” She yelled.

You turned to see Jaemin at the entrance with a hunting rifle. “Bulletproof vest, baby!”

You yelled as you tried to help Heather up.

Jaemin asked, genuinely confused. “Y/n, why are you running? This has nothing to do with you.”

You gaped. “Are you kidding me? Apparently, this has everything to do with me…Jaemin put the gun down! Please stop!”

Jaemin shook his head. “Out of the question, sweetheart. You’d be smart to leave Heather to me.”

Heather began to cry. “No…”

You wrapped Heather’s arm around you and both walked off. Heather winced with pain but she could manage as you kept running. Jaemin was getting closer and closer. He waited, then.

You and Heather were confused. Why did he stop running?

You and Heather both walked over a bear traps you both hadn’t seen.

You yelped in pain and Heather cried out, “Son of a bitch!”

It hurt for both of you to move an inch. You both cried.

Jaemin made his way over, using a flashlight. He sighed. “Y/n, you should’ve stopped running. Now you’ve your beautiful ankle...Well, it’s no big deal...I can disinfect it and patch it up nicely for you...After I’m done with Heather.”

“Jaemin, no, please stop. You don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to do this. That’s enough!” You pleaded.

At the sound of your last two words, Jaemin froze. The words brought him back to when he was a kid and he would pummel other children for bullying his younger siblings. His parents would beg him to stop. It was too bad that their words didn’t stick. And your words were no different.

Jaemin sighed. “I’m sorry, y/n…” He whacked the back of his gun over your head so you blacked out.

___

Heather had also been knocked out. She awoke to being tied up and sitting in the hot tub beside the Olympic sized swimming pool in the backyard. She noted that bricks were tied around her ankles. As she tried to pull herself up, it was impossible for her to get out.

Jaemin smiled wickedly as he wielded the thermostat. “You’ve always prided yourself on being the hottest girl at our college...Why don’t we put that to the test?”

“Jaemin, please stop! I am so sorry!” She cried. “Please don’t do this! I messed up! I...I’ve always been jealous of y/n! Because she was the one who had everything. The perfect family. The perfect grades. The perfect body. Everything about her is so damn effortless that I hated it.” She hoped that pouring her soul out to him might make him change his mind.

“Oh, boohoo…” Jaemin said as he increased the heat.

Heather grew uncomfortable. “Jaemin...Stop...Please...It’s too hot…”

Jaemin sighed. “Goodbye Heather…”

___

You slowly woke up seated on the passenger side of Jaemin’s Jeep. Your eyes quickly opened when you realized that. You jerked awake and found Jaemin in the driver’s seat, calm and composed. “I think we’re alone now...”

You backed up against your window. “Jaemin! Where is Heather?”

“Oh, she’s tied up at the moment...In the hot tub...She is indeed the hottest girl from our college now…” Jaemin said, a chuckle escaping his lips at his pun.

You were about to be sick. You pulled the window and vomited. You tried moving by the gash from the bear trap made you wince and groan in pain.

“Oh, y/n...I didn’t mean for you to get hurt...You couldn’t help it, though. Wanting to help that brat till the end...Because you see the good in people...You are simply too pure.”

“Jaemin...Where are we going?”

“To the next town...Where we will report a murderer that broke into Heather’s summer home…”

You looked at him in disbelief. Surely, he wouldn't turn himself in.

“The murderer is at large and we narrowly escaped, y/n...I got you out of the bear trap and we were able to get away in my car…”

You shook your head. “Jaemin, no...They’ll never believe you...”

Jaemin shocked you by breaking down the same way he had the day before you left for the trip. “Officers, please h-help us. Our friends are gone!”

You looked at him in disbelief. Did he fake crying before?

Well, you did think he was a tremendous actor. You just didn’t know how right you were.

“Jaemin, this is wrong…” You started.

He sighed. “Y/n...you worry too much...Now your life will be brighter...It’ll be perfect now. Perfect for the perfect girl…”

You contemplated how the hell you could get away from Jaemin. Your options were limited as he’d taken your phone. You couldn’t exactly run that far but you could find a way to slow him down. You noticed Heather’s car off the side of the road. It’d rammed into a tree. Jaemin must have tampered with Heather’s car, you realized. He did admit to having a hand in their disappearance, after all.

You thought fast and with all of your strength you moved over to Jaemin’s side and turned the wheel so the car collided into the trees.

The impact was intense but you’d dodged most of the impact. Jaemin laid next to you, unconscious and bleeding.

You limped out of the car and checked Heather’s car. As you feared, Renjun and Tzuyu died from the impact. It was a gruesome sight. They dealt with blunt trauma. Their heads were draining blood. You nearly puked again.

Before you broke down in tears, you thought fast and remembered Renjun and Tzuyu smoked. You rummaged through the glove compartment for a weapon or a phone...You came up short with Renjun’s lighter. Tzuyu’s phone had some battery left. The reception was low so you had to find a way to get to the next town to get reception.

So now what the hell were you going to do, you weren’t going to light a car up on fire...And burn the evidence that was once Tzuyu and Renjun.

You noticed the gas leak that came from under the car. You got under the hood of Heather’s car and found the gasoline tank leaking. You grabbed an empty Starbucks cup from the front seat and let the gasoline slip in.

___

You ran, not getting very far when Jaemin called out to you. He was able to walk normally and he was quickly catching up to you.

“Y/n! Sweetheart! Where are you going? Without me...” Jaemin called out.

You turned quickly and found he walked over to you with an ax.

“Fuck off, Jaemin!” You said, realizing he was just as capable of killing you.

“Sweetheart, let’s just talk about this...I did this all for you...Because I love you...I want to make you happy. I want to marry you. Have twelve children...Ah, yes, you said twelve may be excessive...How does eleven kids sound?”

You rolled your eyes. He was fucking insane. You decided to provoke him. “What makes you think I would marry a deranged killer?”

Jaemin’s face was unreadable then. You hid the cup of gasoline away in your sweater. Pretending you've injured your arm so Jaemin wouldn’t be the wiser.

“Y/n, please…”

You entertained him by turning around.

“What, Jaemin? How could you possibly convince me that anything you did was okay?”

“If you let me try…” Jaemin started. He got closer to you.

You waited for him to get closer and quickly doused him with the gasoline.

Jaemin coughed as some of the gasoline got in his mouth. “y/n, what are you-”

“Goodbye, Jaemin.” You ignited Renjun’s lighter and tossed it at him.

Jaemin clothes caught on fire. He yelled in agony as you watched him struggle. He threw the axe at you but he missed. You cried as you went back to Jaemin’s car and started up the ignition. Thank goodness, it still worked.

Jaemin immediately removed his clothes to remove himself from most of the flames and patted himself down. He immediately charged at you as you backed the car up from the tree.

You didn’t think twice as you ran him over. Checking the rearview mirror and seeing the job hadn’t been completed, you reversed the car and ran him over again.

You waited ten minutes to see that Jaemin was dead. You got out of the car and kicked his body to check for any movement. You got his heavy, lifeless body into the car with you. You checked his pulse again. He was dead. You checked multiple times because once again, you weren’t about to become a movie cliche.

You made it to the next town and reported Jaemin’s murders and how you killed him in self-defense. You explained your weekend of terror and you were at the station all week for questioning. Your family joined you and consoled you as you told them all you knew.

The police scoured the mansion. They found Yangyang’s body in the pool house, beaten to a bloody pulp. They found Naeun’s body in her bed, like she’d been in perpetual slumber. They found Heather’s body in the hot tub, wrinkled and burnt. They found Heather’s car where Tzuyu and Renjun’s bodies remained.

Jaemin told you the truth. He worked part-time at hardware store. He had been fired that day for snapping at one of the customer’s who was berating his wife. Before Jaemin left, he stole an ax. He really did get the ax, like he’d told you.

It turned out Jaemin tampered with the reception at Heather’s house and because her house was already remote...Jaemin was able to use that to his advantage. He used the last of the reception before he cut it off to send the texts about Yangyang from a burner phone, which was uncovered in his Jeep. Yangyang’s phone was unlocked and the police uncovered his messages that were supposedly from his dealer, who he scheduled to meet with the night he disappeared. It turned out Jaemin hacked into the dealer’s phone to get Yangyang right where he wanted him. Jaemin did indeed tamper with the wires of Heather’s car so Tzuyu and Renjun’s fates were sealed. The leftover lasagna Jaemin had prepared was analyzed and there were traces of crushed peanuts in the lasagna. Naeun had a severe peanut allergy. Naeun’s EpiPen was found with Jaemin’s other belongings. When you’d saved Naeun with your EpiPen, Jaemin took it upon himself to smother Naeun with a pillow in her sleep. Jaemin had planted bear traps around the front lawn, which was how he caught you and Heather. Heather died from heat exhaustion in the hot tub as she was tied up and restrained with bricks tied around her ankles. Jaemin had done all of this with gloved hands so no trace of his DNA could be found at the crime scenes. If it hadn’t been for the evidence he’d hidden in his car, then the case would’ve been more difficult to resolve.

Jaemin’s body was recovered at the crime scene. Thankfully, he was not a movie cliche where he up and left and awaited his next victim. He was dead to the world and most importantly, dead to you.

[Fin]

482 notes · View notes

mggpleasedontlookhere · 4 years

Text

it should’ve been you pt. 2

summary: after getting suspended after the incident on the jet, y/n has a hard time dealing with the aftermath of the situation, only then she realizes that her and spencer are one and the same

word count: 3,825 reading time aprox: 14 mins

masterlist

part 1

3 months.

It has been 3 months since Spencer had been charged with suspension in participating in any cases. In regards to the reprimands brought upon me by Hotch, I had received a mere 1 month of suspension for my violent act on the jet.

Truth be told, the 1 month was worth it

The words that ardently escaped Spencer’s lips that day sat perpetually ingrained on my mind, next to the lingering memory of his belligerent eyes. Despite my indignation of Spencer’s behavior, his words added to the ever growing grief of Ryler’s death, self reproach fueling my mind.

But at the end of the day, some of the blame could be brought on Spencer. He should’ve spoke up sooner if he had clue that I wasn’t efficient in the field. He should’ve done something to prevent Ryler’s death.

Right?

I had just gotten back from my suspension, completing the final reports of a case and handling the tedious paper work that nobody wanted to deal with. I wasn’t permitted to investigate any cases with the team yet considering that I was still under surveillance. But I kept my distance from them, especially Hotch, knowing his attention would linger on me slightly longer than the other agents.

I sighed, finishing up the latter of reports and standing up to submit the files to Hotch. As I ventured through the lively commotion of agents and supervisors, I spotted the team near the kitchenette of the bullpen. They were all in a fit of laughter, a sight that was infrequent with the career we possessed. A bubbling sensation burned in my stomach as I watched their faces contort in bliss. I clenched my fingers around the reports, creating small indents on the corners of the files, while a grimace replaced the once nonchalant expression I displayed. I shook my head in disapproval, then trudged off to get my task over with.

They should be working, not fucking around. If only I were there, maybe things would get done faster

Barging into Hotch’s office, I discarded the work at the front of his desk, muttering a small sentence that indicated I was finished. I didn’t dare to entertain his unrelenting scrutiny, knowing well that he was already halfway into profiling my demeanor. “If that’s all, I can go back to my desk...” I said, the tone of my voice monotonous and lifeless. “Sir” I nodded, using his silent response as a signal to leave.

“Agent Y/L/N” He interrupted, setting the paper work I finished aside along with other files that camouflaged the surface of his oak desk. “Take a seat please” He suggested, gesturing to the two office chairs that faced him. I complied still not meeting his gaze, settling down in front of him, as I fiddled with the threads at the ends of my blazer.

“Y/L/N” He repeated, only this time I looked straight into his eyes. “We’re happy to have you back in our unit” He began, a sense of sternness in his voice, similar to one a parent would use to scold their child. “I hope you took this opportunity as a break away from all the chaos we deal with” He lightheartedly joked, an amiable smile apparent of his face.

Despite his change in demeanor, my feelings of resentment coexisted beside his expressions of colloquialism. “Me, taking a break from work or was it so the team can take a break from me and Dr. Reid?” I challenged, folding my hands on my lap.

“Y/L/N” He disrupted lifting an apprehensive hand. “I’m aware of the tension between you and Reid ever since what happened back in New York, so I made the decision to give you and him the opportunity to-” He justified.

“No sir, with all due respect, your agents are out there laughing their asses off instead of working. Yet I’m the one who’s being put under scrutiny for being human?” I asserted, standing up from where I sat. “Yes I made a mistake. But for months Reid has done nothing but bludgeon everything I work for in the bureau and none of you have ever done anything about it” I scoffed as I paced in front of his desk.

“Y/L/N I’d have you know that me and the team have had numerous conversations with Reid about what hap-”

“YES THAT’S MY POINT!” I exclaimed, raising my voice slightly, although that didn’t last long due to the cautious stare I received from Hotch. “You’ve always checked up on Reid, but what about me?” I spit, narrowing my eyes at Hotch, noticing the discernible silence I received as a response. “Aren’t I part of this team? Because frankly ever since that case in Manhattan it seems like everyone can’t decide whether to blame me or pity me” I admitted, looking over to the window where I had a clear view of the people of my unit.

“Y/L/N please take a seat” He commanded, but I declined standing my ground. He sighed, tucking in his blazer as he stared at me in disbelief. “Y/L/N I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt like that but you’re on this team as much as Reid is” He claimed, an empathetic tone surrounding each word that emitted from his lips. “You’ve made a mistake and yes, it’s affected a majority of the team, but take this opportunity to grow from that mistake” He consoled, his eyes softening back into a lamentable gaze. “Use this to be a better agent” He stood up, walking over to where I was positioned and placed an affable palm to my shoulder.

Vulnerability is often used as a bridge between the connection of others. It’s used to initiate an understanding bond, to break people down to their foundations, and to help one to recognize that people aren’t alone when it comes to implications in life. Although vulnerability wasn’t the theme of mine and Hotch’s interaction.

It was pity

“Is that what you think will make me feel better? T-to make me feel accepted into this team?” I ridiculed, snatching my shoulder away from his overbearing touch. Incredulity seemed to fuel the words leaving my mouth as my glare advertised bitterness. “Do you think I’m that incompetent? That a few appraising and heartfelt words are going to make me fall in line?” I challenged.

“Y/N, please don’t make this diff-”

“DON’T ‘Y/N’ ME, HOTCH” I warned, knowing I set off an alarm inside of him as he backed off in reluctance. I knew I had attracted a few curious ears from outside of the office, but I was too blinded by my oncoming emotions to act with clarity and reason.

“YOU K-KNEW” I stuttered, my hands beginning to tremble at my sides as I wiped the sweat accumulating on them. “You knew that I wasn’t r-ready. I WASN’T READY!”.

My mind had accelerated to a thousand miles per hour, I felt numb at every word I had verbalized as if my cerebrum had malfunctioned. I hadn’t even noticed the tears that had dampened the apples of my cheeks. “Y-you knew I-i wasn’t ready, a-and you...let me go in” I sucked in a staggered breath, feeling my esophagus cinch up at the sudden inhale. “You k-killed him” I whispered through my gritted teeth, feeling all loss of competence. At this point my hormones were driving my actions, “You KILLED him” I accused, flailing my hands at his direction.

“Y/L/N go home, you’re not stable enough to be back here yet” He stated monotonously, striding back to his chair in a collected manner.

“What?” I spewed.

“Y/L/N it’s obvious that you need more time. I’m giving you a 2-weeks-leave, and I suggest you take it” He replied, taking a moment to look up at me. “I can assign you the bureau’s therapist, Dr. Montgomery, if you would like”

“N-no Hotch, are you kidding me?” I scoffed in defiance.

“Y/L/N I will have you escorted out of the building if you don’t follow my direct orders, understood?” He threatened, peering into my eyes. “Now go home” He sighed, looking over some files without giving me a second glance.

I huffed in disbelief, pulling open his office door to make an exit, ready to dash out of the room, until his words broke my stride. “Oh and Y/L/N” He spoke up, making me spin around to look at him one last time.

“While you’re on that break...learn to forgive yourself too”

From the time that phrase came out of his mouth to where I stood now seemed like a blur. The autumn drizzle trickled from my forehead to the base of my chin as the sky darkened; an omen to the place where my feet had lead me.

Spencer’s apartment

Stepping a foot into the complex, the coldness of the water droplets on my skin masked the fear that hid behind the many layers of antipathy, turbulence, and helplessness.

I felt paralyzed, contrary to my feet that continued to venture through the halls to find Spencer’s residence, my unconscious mind remembering the very dinner party the team organized months ago to celebrate the new addition to the BAU: me.

My range of emotions had thrown me into a downward spiral, feeling everything then feeling nothing simultaneously. It was as if I was drowning then pulled up to be given air, only to repeat the process continuously. I knew to blame myself, but I couldn’t help but bear to place the accountability to the members of my team because the weight was too heavy for me to hoist.

I am selfish, I am weak, and I hate every part of that.

My anger became the device to alienate myself from others. My loss of control lead my impulsivity to fester and lash out on the ones who only wanted to help. Finally, my ignorance costed me my impartial and sensible mind. It allowed me to turn a blind eye to any impurities that didn’t corroborate with my narrative.

I twisted the facts to match the theories, rather than twist the theories to the facts.

At the foundation of it all, the matter derived from my inability to conquer my grief in a sufficient approach. Although at that affair, I remained alone...almost. The only other creature who had endured more than they can handle was Spencer.

Despite out disagreements, we held one thing in common: the event that defined our declarations of hate towards one another.

So here I have my feet planted complementary to his front door, my arms glued to my side, and my head hanging low as I raised a skeptical fist to knock.

With the first attempt to gather his attention, the was no response except the buzzing of the radiators that hummed throughout the building’s halls. With another set of knocks, scuffling feet could be heard coming closer to the entrance and every thud against the floor, elevated my heart rate. When the door had flung open, it wasn’t Spencer that I had witnessed.

It was a ghost of him.

At least that’s what it had looked like to me. Spencer sported his head of hair like a bird’s nest, his clothes looked besmirched, his silhouette appeared scraggy, but most of all his face looked inert and lacked pigment.

In spite of my initial impression, his emotion ridden expression gained it’s flare back at the acknowledgment of my appearance. He was about to turn away, pushing the door closed when I stuck a foot in the crevice of the door frame, causing me to wince in agony.

This caused Spencer to return his focus onto me, fixating at my foot that obstructed the door. “If you think that hurts, try getting stabbed” He mentioned maliciously, referring to the death of his comrade. I ignored his snarky comment, pushing the door ajar to face him. “What do you want Y/L/N?” He deadpanned, holding an emphatic countenance.

I composed myself, sighing as I explained that I wanted the opportunity to discuss the latter with him, and to my surprise he obliged, diffident to let me enter.

I took in the unveiling of his home. The walls were lined with bookshelves that contained a copious assortment of books that ranged from education to recreational. Renaissance art was found in between some of the shelving units, but the one thing that caught my attention were the various frames that surrounded Spencer’s childhood pictures. Although, the majority of the portraits were only of him and his mother; his father only making a debut in earlier pictures.

“I thought you were here to talk, not profile where I live” Spencer commented, interrupting the inquisitive observations I’ve made of his place. I mumbled a quaint apology, finding myself a chair to sit on as Spencer did the same.

Apprehension preoccupied the silence that followed after we took our seats. I fiddled with my hands, running over my lines and organizing my thoughts as I thought twice about my presentation.

“It wasn’t my fault”

“What?” Spencer spoke, tilting his head at me in bewilderment.

“It wasn’t my fault that Ryler died...It was my choice” I began, pushing the loose hairs behind my ears as I sat up straight. “I made that choice to follow through and go in, knowing I was going against Hotch’s warnings and that-” I paused, gazing into his emotionless stare.

“Killed Ryler” Spencer deadpanned, continuing off where I couldn’t finish. I nodded in compliance, the same feeling of dread creeping up my stomach, similar to how I felt on the crime scene.

“There’s no amount of ‘sorrys’ I can say that will ever fill that void that’s in-bedded in the team...but at the same time, th-there’s nothing I can do to bring him back, Reid” I declared.

He wore a tight-lipped grimace, staring at the wall behind me coldly. “Yeah, there’s nothing you can do to bring him back” He scoffed. “You’re wasting your time being here” He professed, shaking his head with hostility.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I bent over to place my head on my hands, feeling the overbearing sensation of frustration bubble over the sentiment. “Yes I know Reid” I disclosed, animosity slowing slipping into the enunciation of my words. “I just- I don’t always want to be in quarrel with you whenever we’re at work” I confessed. “I just need you to-”

“To what?” Spencer cut me off mid sentence. “To forgive you?” He jeered, narrowing his eyes at me in vengeful amazement.

“Spencer-”

“You want me to FORGIVE you?” He stood up from his seat, walking over one of the bookshelves adjacent to the window. The faint sunset beamed an orange tinted glare through the drizzle and into the living room, giving pigment to Spencer’s skin as his back faced me. “Am I just supposed to forget about him like everyone has already, am I supposed to pretend that everything’s back to normal without him?” He questioned, running his finger along the spines of a select novels.

“I’m not telling you to forget Ryler, and it’s not like the team doesn’t honor-” I began, but was cut off abruptly by Spencer’s spiteful words.

“Are you fucking kidding me Y/N?!” He exclaimed, turning around to glare at me. “For the past couple of months, no one- and I mean NO ONE has mentioned Ryler. I-it’s as if NOBODY CARES” He shook his head in frustration, running his hand through his curls.

“That-s not tru-”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” He blurted out, an incredulous expression planted on his face. “Name one person, aside from me that had thought about Ryler in the past month” He challenged, making determined strides towards where I sat.

Veins began protruding on his forehead as he came closer, the wrinkles on his forehead became indistinguishable, despite the sun masking his face in an angelic light. “I- um” I gulped, unable to recall any mentions of the agent.

“Exactly” Spencer deadpanned, walking back over to the shelves.

“But that doesn’t give you an excuse to berate me” I uttered quietly, feigning a collected composure where the confidence lacked. I pushed myself up from my seat, promenading up to where he stood. “You can’t assume the future of my career based on a mistake I made” I stood parallel to his back, reaching a hand up to place on his shoulder, but proceeded to hesitate, leaving them at my sides. “You don’t have to forgive me Reid, but at least forgive yourself” I spoke, reiterating the same words Hotch passed onto me before leaving the office.

I saw his shoulders lose tension as he sucked in a breath, his fingers unraveled from his balled fists while he hung his head low. On the cue of his sedated composure, I placed a decided grasp on his shoulder in attempt to soothe the rigid atmosphere.

Unbeknownst to my perception of the situation, Spencer suddenly grabbed a hold of my wrist, flipping me over to where my back hit the bookshelves with immense force, sending a painful chill down my spine. I winced as the rivets of the metal screws scratched the soft skin of my lower back. Although this didn’t prevent Spencer from further pinning my body into the shelves while his firm fingers dug into my wrists. “What makes you think you can tell me what to do or what to feel” He whispered darkly, a menacing grimace taking it’s form on his mouth.

I resisted against his grip, but his strength proceeded to show itself through my inability to overpower him. Fueled with frustration, I bore at him with a vindictive sneer. “Reid, fucking let me go” I muttered through gritted teeth. “I swear to fucking god Reid, let me the FUCK GO!” I challenged, pushing harder against his tall frame.

He responded to my catty reactions with an arrogant smirk. “Look at you writhing under me” He patronized, his face shadowing over mine as his breath fanned over my own. “You’re a weak bitch Y/N” He continued, his eyes lingering on my bottom lip. “You’re an even worse agent” He inched closer at an achingly sluggish pace. I felt my lips twitch in anticipation as his mouth hovered over my own.

So, I took the opportunity to spit at him.

He stumbled back in surprise, wiping my saliva that landed inches away from the bridge of his nose. “What the fu-” He spewed, looking at me incredulously. But I took no hesitation to make determined strides at him.

“You have no right to call me a bad agent. You have no right to call me weak” I heaved, shoving him at his shoulders. “Especially when you can’t even face your own feelings” I verbalized, glaring at him. “You’re a coward” I muttered, glaring up at him as we were chest to chest.

Both of us stood in our own heated ambiance, the silence amplifying the intensity of the circumstances. I could feel the sweat dripping off of my forehead as I witnessed a crack in his arrogant countenance. His hard features relaxed into a woeful expression as the fight of reason in his mind intensified. But I didn’t have the time to wait on his judgement. So with a novel sanguine air, I began marching right up to his front door with the persistence to leave all the negative energy behind me.

That was until he spoke up

“Y/N I-”

I shook my head, resting my hand on his doorknob. “No Spencer, you listen” I turned around to face him, leaning my back on the oak surface of the door. “You don’t get to defame my career, I’ve worked too hard for this and out of all the people in the world, I thought you’d understand” I stated, pushing myself up the door so I was no longer leaning on it.

“Y/N-”

“I made a mistake, but that mistake’s going to make me a better agent. I can’t take back his death and I can’t make it up to you, but all I can do is make his death count” I persisted, my legs venturing back to where we stood prior to my attempted exit. He stared back at me with an afflicted gaze that hid behind a feigned emotionless expression. “I’ve spent months blaming myself for his death...” I positioned myself across from him, reciprocating a compassionate expression that contrasted from his own visage. “And I think you do the same too” I remarked, taking my bottom lip between my teeth as I expressed my concerns.

For the first time, Spencer didn’t know what to say. Not statistical fact or analytical approach would resolve the woman that stood confidently before him.

“You’re right” He admitted, sighing as he combed the back of his head. His eyes flickered to the prominent features of my face, then back to the apparently interesting view of the floor. He shut his eyes in defeat, dragging both of his hands over his face as if it was to bring clarity and closure swiftly to him. “I-i didn’t how to...th-then everyone started forgetting- and I couldn’t” He desperately was at a loss of words. “I’m sorry Y/N” He repented, laying a hesitant yet tender hand on the side of my arm.

“As much as I appreciate you apologizing to me Spencer-” I laid my hand over his own, clutching onto it in a solacing grasp. “You seriously need to figure yourself out first” I sighed, using my fingers to tilt his chin up to disrupt his forlorn expression. “You need to learn how to forgive yourself Spencer, and I’m not the one to say because I’m still figuring that out myself, but that’s the only way you’re ever going truly move forward”

He cringed at my mention of the future. I noticed the cogs running in that brain of his, unable to process his grief. I could tell he was still holding onto a lot of baggage, the pained look he wore revealing it all. “I shouldn’t have told you that it should’ve been you back there” He apologized, referring to the whole conflict that unfolded on the jet. “I don’t know how to do it Y/N” He confessed. “I c-can’t just move on like that”

“Nobody’s asking you to Spencer” I consoled. “We can never really be able to move on completely. But that’s a part of living, it’s remembering that gives our life meaning”

“Well actually, traumatic occurrences can actually be repressed by the unconscious mind in order to dissociate th-” He rambled, a faint smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

“Don’t ruin the sentiment Reid” I laughed, nudging him playfully. He reciprocated the same gesture, reverting back to a more relaxed visage.

“Thank you...Y/N” He spoke passionately, pulling me into an amicable embrace. I breathed into his shoulder, taking in the seldom occasion as all the hatred that existed in the room previously, dissipated.

“You’re always welcome...Spence”

A/N:

that’s a wrap, im actually really proud of this so i hope you all enjoy it. tell me whatcha think about it after :)

i honestly was struggling with how to end the whole thing, so i compromised on an angsty-fluff/platonic but not really ending, if that at all makes sense lmao, anyways have an amazing day

taglist: @a-dorky-book-keeper @ilovespencereid @fancystarlightpirate @aperrywilliams @liaabsurd @thatsonezesty13 @ashwarren32 @ithinkilovetruecrimetoomuch @yoongi-holland @guessthatswhyiliveinhell @peterspickledpepper @tiktokslut @britishspidey @marciscaspar @ tteessaa13 @marylanddgirly @todaynotseen

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kookkyra · 4 years

Text

F R E E O F C H A R G E

summary: you break things off with jj after he confesses his feelings to you. it wasn’t because you didn’t like him back, it was because you we’re scared of what the future of you two held. based off the song FREE OF CHARGE by THE BAND CAMINO. and based off the quote “I broke my own heart. I couldn’t stand the suspense, waiting for you to do it.” - J.R. Rogue

wc: 2.6k

warning: mention of drug use, cursing

requested: yes! anon: hi if youre looking for jj requests that have to do with songs may i suggest anything by the band CAMINO all of their music gives me major jj vibes

a/n: so i’ve seen a few fics where jj breaks up with the reader bc he was scared of his own feelings, and i thought it would be fun to do a little flip where now y/n is the one who breaks it off bc she’s scared. also apparently i really like messy shit because it’s so easy for me to talk about how characters fuck up but trying to get them to talk and get back together i’m like?? what is this foreign concept?? the blurb in italics is a flashback :)

______________________________________________________________

i gave you my heart, you gave me up

It had been two weeks since you last saw JJ. Well, one week, five days and two hours, but who was counting? You had avoided the chateau. It used to be your safe space, your place to clear your mind, hangout with friends, to laugh, to escape. It was weird to have to avoid a place that had become a second home. It was weird to have to split your time with your friends, knowing damn well that you weren’t going to hangout with Pope, John B and Kie if JJ was around.

They told you he was okay. Seemed to be a little more high than often, but he wasn’t locked in his room anymore. That was good, you thought. You did the right thing, right?

It had been two weeks since you called things off with JJ. Well, one week, five days and two hours. But who was counting?

Kiara told you that it wasn’t the right move. That he thought of you differently. And you knew it was true, but you couldn’t help the lingering thoughts in your head. You couldn’t think of what you would do if he ended things with you, so you ended things first. You remember the pain in his eyes, the disbelief as you stood in front of him. He had just poured his feelings out on the table, expressed how much he liked you, how he was terrified- he had never felt that way about a girl before, but he wanted to be open about it. As much as you wanted to say that you were terrified too, that you liked him, too, you ended it. You lied right to his face, and the numb feeling that came over your body as you stood there still visited you, sometimes.

It was better to break your own heart then wait for JJ to do it, right?

“Do you still think you made the right choice?” Sarah asked as you both walked along the beach, the water gently coming up to touch your feet every now and again.

“I think so.” You tried to sound sure of yourself, but your use of the word ‘think’ made it clear you were hesitant. You mentally kicked yourself. Why didn’t you just say yes? Why couldn’t you have said you were so sure of your decision? “I told you already, I didn’t want to wait around for him to break up with me.”

“So you broke up with him… for nothing.” Sarah reiterated, “for fear.” She corrected, looking up to you.

“Call it fear if you want but it’s better this way. He wasn’t being JJ, he only hooked up with me, he was texting me all the time, we was all over me all the time, he-”

“He fucking liked you, Y/N. Sue the kid.” Sarah said, cutting you off. Her tone was a bit harsher than you would have liked, but you were sure she was probably hearing about it from John B, as well. “And you liked him, too. You don’t think everyone is terrified to get broken up with? No one plans on it, you plan on being together forever. Is it dumb to think that these relationships are going to last the rest of our lives? Yeah. We’re like infants in the grand scheme of life you go through with hope.”

You stayed quiet. She was right, and she knew your silence was proof of that. You picked at your nails, feeling your heart rate quicken.

“It’s not like I can change anything, now.” Defeated. That’s how your words came across. Like you were a little kid who had to give back the candy bar they stole from a store.

“I don’t really do relationships.” You said with a huff, running your fingers through your hair. “I just get scared, I think. I watched my parents get a divorce. I watched it break my dad.. I don’t want to go through that, you know? Thinking about how someone could be your everything one moment and then waking up one day to realize your feelings changed? That just…” Your shoulders shrugged, putting the joint to your lips. “That just fucking sucks.” You exhaled, a small cloud of smoke coming from your lips. Normally you wouldn’t be so open about everything in your life, but there was something about JJ that made you word vomit. Nothing was a secret with him. Maybe it was the calmness that came over your body when you saw him, or maybe it was the weed.

“That why you just hook up with people?” JJ said, taking the joint from you. “That came out bad, I think. I don’t mean it like- you know, like-” He stopped himself, getting frustrated with his lack of words. “I only hook up with people.” His words were quick, as if he was trying to cover his ass by putting himself in the same boat he had seemed to throw you in to.

“Yeah, I strictly avoid love at all costs.” You looked up to the blond sitting next to you. His blue eyes found their way to yours before his head nodded in agreement.

“Me too.”

JJ shut the door behind the girl he had walked out of the chateau. Looking to John B on the couch who raised his eyebrows at him.

“What, man?” JJ asked, shaking his head.

“She was pretty.” John B said with a small shrug. “Did she make you feel something? Or was she just another poor girl who’s going to wait by the phone?”

“Why are you being an ass right now?”

“Why aren’t you trying to talk to Y/N? You’re obviously fucked up over her.” John B retorted.

“Because she doesn’t fucking want me, dude!” JJ’s voice was defensive. John B had struck a nerve, and he knew that. “I told her how I felt, exactly how we said I should, and then she fucking walked away. I’m supposed to still cry about her and try and get her back? I didn’t do shit, JB. I did what I thought I was supposed to do, I told her how I felt. She doesn’t do relationships, and she told me that. I can’t force her to do what she doesn’t want to do.”

John B looked as JJ stood in front of him, obviously worked up. He could remember talking to JJ about his feelings for you, and how he had to give him the pep talk to even consider bringing his feelings up. John B felt guilty at first, knowing he had pushed JJ to talk to you about his feelings and you had shut him down, but that was until Sarah and Kiara had finally told the reasoning behind it. They refused to tell JJ though, maybe it was better that way- at least at that point he didn’t know that you felt the same, because that was worse, right? To know that the person you like likes you back, but won’t act on it?

“I don’t think I would’ve just let that be the end. You two were inseparable, and you think it’s normal for her to just throw that all away? Look around, man. Vibes have been weird with all of us since that shit happened. It’s like you two have joint custody of us- it sucks. I’m not saying it’s all on you, but you didn’t even get to tell her how fucked up it was. I don’t know- I wouldn’t let that shit fly.” John B said, getting up from his position on the couch.

‘can we talk?’

Locking your phone quickly, you contemplated throwing it across the room, instead you tossed it to the other end of your bed. Staring at it for a few moments before reaching for it.

‘i just don’t like how things ended.’

You rolled your eyes at yourself. You didn’t know what you were saying, but you knew you had to say it. You couldn’t just leave it how it was, your talk with Sarah earlier made that clear in your head.

The vibration of your phone made your breath hitch in your throat. Taking a deep breath you unlocked it, looking to the simple ‘sure’ JJ had sent back. Your heart fluttered for the first time in two weeks, and you weren’t even sure why. Just because you were talking to him and explaining where you were coming from didn’t mean anything. Hell, just because you were explaining where you were coming from didn’t even mean you were ready for anything. You kept flip flopping in your mind. Maybe you could try things out with him. Maybe you just wanted to explain everything you felt, tell him you liked him but you couldn’t move forward with it. You didn’t know.

‘the dock?’ You replied back, getting off your bed and texting Sarah and Kie that you were going to talk to JJ. Your phone instantly blowing up with message after message from the two girls. You ignored them as you slid your feet into your vans, only interested in the text from JJ confirming the location.

“Shit.” You mumbled to yourself as you saw he only responded to your text with the thumbs up reaction. That couldn’t mean good things. Mabe in the two weeks you had spent apart he was over you. Maybe he was just pissed. Or maybe he was only doing it because his friends were sick of splitting their time up.

More ‘what ifs’ ran through your head as you walked down to the dock in the back of John B’s house. Standing where the dock started, you saw JJ sitting back to you, legs hanging over the edge of the dock. Taking a deep breath, you told your feet to move, but they didn’t. Your eyes stuck on JJ, heart beating out of your chest. Finally they moved. Your feet carried you to the edge of the dock, sitting next to JJ without saying a word. You silently cursed your feet for bringing you there and not turning back, now you had to face your biggest fear, yourself.

“Hey..” You said quietly, hands gripping to the old wood, eyes looking from JJ to your feet. He stayed silent, though. His eyes stayed glued to the water down below. It looked like a black abyss at this time of night, and you wished you could jump in it and never come out- that seemed a lot better at this moment. You waited, trying to fully collect your thoughts before you just started rambling. You hadn’t had much time at all to string together what you were going to say, but you knew you had to say something, you had to explain.

“That’s all you have to say? Hey? You hit me up after two weeks to say hey and try and talk like normal? That’s not gonna fly, Y/N.” JJ hissed. He was angry, obviously. He made all good points, you couldn’t blame him for how he spoke to you, it was obvious he was still hurt.

“I was trying to ease into it..” You mumbled, feeling traitor tears well up in your eyes, looking to him.

“You didn’t care about easing into it when you broke it off.” He was right, you were quick to jump to that, why was this any different?

“I’m sorry.” That was all you could muster up? That was really all you had? You heard JJ scoff, shaking his head.

“You know, I don’t know what I expected letting you want to talk, but whatever it was, it was a lot better than this.” JJ’s words were harsh, they rattled in your head. They made you feel like you made the right choice. If he could say these things now, and treat you this coldly now, what was stopping him from doing it later on? You stopped yourself, you couldn’t let your thoughts control you anymore. You had to at least try.

“I was scared.” You croaked out, eyes looking down quickly. God, you hated how weak you sounded. Mustering up all the courage you could, you took a deep breath, looking to his blue eyes. “I am scared.” You corrected. “I told you why I didn’t like the idea of relationships. I made it clear. And I tried so hard to push those thoughts from my head, because I like you. Hell, I like you so much, JJ. But that doesn’t change how I feel about relationships. I’m scared to see us fall out of whatever this is.” There was a silence. The air was tense, the only sound was the water below you, and your breath. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought JJ disappeared. He was silent, painfully silent.

“Then keep doing what you do, Y/N.. I can’t wait to see where that gets you.” JJ finally spoke. His words felt like a smack in the face, but maybe it was what you needed. Scared to fall out of whatever this is, hadn’t you already? Wasn’t this a fall out? You wanted a fallout, you knew you broke your own heart so he couldn’t- so what were you so scared of? If you were both there talking now, wasn’t that at least something?

“JJ, I can’t take back what I did. I can’t take back how I did it, either. I messed up, I’ve never.. liked someone before, this is all new territory for me. I don’t know how to navigate it.”

“I don’t either, Y/N, but I knew better than to just throw you off to the side like a used napkin!” His voice sounded so angry. You had heard it this angry before, it was similar to when he spoke about Rafe. But there was something else mixed in with the anger. Hurt.

“How do I fix it?” There it was again, the weak voice that you had tried so hard to hide. “Do I tell you that for the past two weeks I’ve done nothing but think about you? That Sarah and Kie had to drag me out of my room the next day? Do I have to tell you that you’re still the first person I think of when I wake up, and the last thought on my mind when I go to sleep? Do I tell you that I’ve avoided pepperoni on my pizza because I know it’s your favorite topping? That I can’t sleep on the left side of the bed because that’s your side?” You stopped yourself, shaking your head. “None of that fixes it. Because it was shitty. I messed up. I let my fears control me, and I hurt you. If I could take it back, I would. But I can’t.” You wiped the tears that had fallen from your eyes, before you felt JJ’s hand on the side of your face. You rested your head against it, you didn’t expect anything more. And you didn’t expect to feel his lips against yours. You kissed him back, your hand resting to the back of his head, your fingers playing with his hair.

“Holy shit they’re kissing!” You heard Sarah yell from the chateau, pulling you both away from each other as you looked to the house. JJ smiled, looking to you.

“I don’t know what that means..” You said almost embarrassed.

“It means we’re gonna work on it, if you want. We’ll take things at a pace that doesn’t terrify you, and we’ll talk about things.”

“I think I like that.” You said with a smile, pressing your forehead to JJ’s. “And I know I like you.”

“I know I like you, too.” He said, pressing your lips together softly.

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank imagines #outerbanks #outerbanks imagine #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #obx imagines #john booker routledge #chase stokes #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #madison bailey #madelyn cline #pope heyward #johnathan daviss

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isidar-mithrim · 4 years

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Silliness of love – Chapter 3

Nineteen years later, James and Al have just left for Hogwarts, and the least Harry can do to cheer Lily up is having someone over for dinner.

Inspired by prompt posse #8 by the ‘Harry and Ginny Discord’: “What is a secret you’ve never shared?”

[Chapter one and two on Tumblr – Ao3]

_________________________________

Of books and misunderstandings

“You Confunded the examiner?!”

“Maybe, or maybe not,” said Ron amiably.

“When you’ll destroy our car I’ll make sure you fix it yourself, without magic and without your father’s help.”

“And then you’ll have to polish by hand the silver in the trophy room, and ten point from Gryffindor!” cut in Teddy, his face incredibly close to McGonagall’s, minus the spectacles.

Even Hermione bursted out laughing.

“C’mon, there’s nothing to worry about, I don’t even exist in the Muggle records.”

“We’ll talk about that when you’ll have run over some poor old lady.”

“Oh, she might be Aunt Petunia!” said Lily with delight, leaving Harry completely baffled while Ron’ and Hugo’s laughs mingled together.

“Let’s hope Ron won’t run over anybody, shall we?” said Ginny, looking at her brother. “And don’t you think I’ve forgotten that you’ve yet to tell your story!”

“Don’t worry, we made a deal, and I have all the intentions to fulfill it, because you’d never imagine that the silliest thing I’ve done for Hermione was…” Ron trailed off, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Harry took a spoonful of pudding, finding himself more curious that he had expected. He wondered if he already knew about this or not.

“It was…”

“Dad, don’t keep us in suspense!”

“There must be so many things he could pick that he has no idea where to start,” teased Ginny.

“You’re wrong, you harpie of a sister. I’ve known what I was going to say since the very start. It all began when I was seventeen years old, before Hermione and I got together. After the whole Lavender debacle, I knew I had to work very hard to win Hermione’s heart, and so… I read a book.”

Silence fell when everybody looked at him with bewildered expressions, until Ginny broke it.

“Absolutely impressive, Ron. I’d have never suspected that by that age you were alphabetized enough to read. Are you sure it wasn’t a comic?”

“Or The Kamasutra?” asked Teddy with a suggestive smirk, rousing hiliarity among the adults.

Lily narrowed her eyes, bemused. “The Kamasutra?”

“Oh, don’t mind Teddy,” Harry hurried to say. “It’s nothing interesting.”

Lily shrugged and stood up. While she walked towards the stairs with firm steps, a shiver ran down Harry’s spine.

“Where are you going, love?”

“To look up in the dictionary what Kamasutra means, since you are not telling me! I want to understand your funny jokes too.”

Harry almost choked on his Butterbeer, but Ron doubled over with laughs. “Lily, you’d probably have more luck searching under James’s bed!”

While Hermione exclaimed with indignation, Ginny looked at Teddy with a deadly smile.

“Come back, honey. I’m sure Teddy is perfectly happy to explain what he was talking about, right?”

“Er…” he mumbled, adjusting the collar of his t-shirt while Lily sat down and looked at him with expectancy. “Well, erm… It’s a book that was written centuries ago by Hindus wizards and witches, that teaches a series of… of exercises to be… in harmony with your body.”

Teddy now looked pretty smug, his embarrassment apparently forgotten. It was a pretty effective explanation, after all – or so Harry thought until Hugo spoke.

“And that’s supposed to be funny?” he asked, throughuly not impressed.

Teddy chuckled awkwardly. “Er…”

“Well, it’s an illustrated book, sweetie,” explained Hermione with a strained smile. “That means you don’t have to read to understand those exercises.”

Harry couldn’t help but admire her cleverness, but Hugo raised his eyebrows with bored disappointment.

“Ha, ha, ha. Best joke ever, Teddy…”

Lily’s eyes, on the other hand, were bright with curiosity. “Do the figures move?”

When Harry choked on his Butterbeer, Hermione had the decency to look sheepish. “Er… only in the Wizarding version.”

Teddy jerked his head toward her. “Wait, do you mean there’s a Muggle version too?”

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but Hermione cleared her throat to hide her embarrassment. “Yes, I believe there is,” she said curtly, obviously eager to put an end to the conversation.

Her effort couldn’t have been less effective.

“Have you read them both, Mum?”

Hermione’s cheeks flushed red in an instant, but she still had the presence of mind to stomp on Harry’s foot under the table. To be fair, he was doing a very poor job at holding back his laughters, but Ron, Ginny and Teddy weren’t copying any better.

Hugo glared at them, his arms folded in annoyance. “You’re doing it again.”

It was Ginny the first to recover. “Sorry, love, but it’s quite fun to imagine your mum reading them. You know she’s never been a fan of gymnastics,” she added with a wink.

Harry leaned towards Ginny, his mouth close to her ear. “No, that’s your area of expertise,” he whispered cheekily. He clearly hadn’t been subtle enough, though, because Ron groaned loudly.

“Merlin’s pants, you two are disgusting,” agreed Teddy.

Hugo scowled at them all. “Well, if you all want to be so mysterious, I’ll ask Rose to look for a copy in the library. I bet she will tell me what’s so funny about this stupid book.”

This time it was Ron’s turn to choke on his Butterbeer.

“Er, I’m pretty sure there isn’t any copy at Hogwarts,” mumbled Teddy. “And anyway, weren’t you eager to listen to your dad’s silliness, Hugo?”

“Exactly!” exclaimed Ron, seizing the opening. “I’d just mentioned that I read a book, which wasn’t an illustrated one, nor a comic, but a real book with real letters, words and sentences!”

“Please know that if you’re about to say that you’ve read Hogwarts: A History just to please me, I won’t believe it.”

“Hermione, we’re talking about a silliness, not a miracle,” said Harry, who now had a clear suspicion on the nature of the book.

Ron clapped his back. “Thanks, mate. It’s wonderful to know you’re always ready to put in a good word for me.”

Harry grinned, raising his glass in salute. “You’re welcome.”

“Enough with your comradeship,” said Ginny with a smile. “It’s time for you to reveal the title of this phantomatic book, Ron.”

“Yes, yes, I’m getting there… So, it was a present by Fred and George for my seventeenth birthday…”

“Then it definitely wasn’t Hogwarts: A History,” teased Teddy.

“No, definitely not,” agreed Ron, shaking his head. “It was called Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches. Pure gold, it explained everything you needed to know about girls!”

“Oh God.” Ginny looked at her brother in disbelief. “You used a book to understand how to woo Hermione?”

“Hey, don’t think Harry hasn’t read it! I gave it to him myself for his seventeenth birthday!”

Ginny turned toward Harry, who inwardly cursed Ron upon noticing that her eyes were wide with surprise and mirth.

“Technically I only read it after we got together,” he pointed out. “And it’s not like I had much time to read it while we were on the run, so I –”

“Really?” asked Hermione with a knowing smirk. “Because I clearly remember that you had all the time to check for her on the Marauders’ Map...”

“You spied on her on the Map?” exclaimed Teddy, half shocked, half amused.

“It wasn’t like that! I was just worried, and I missed her, and I –”

But Harry couldn’t finish his plea, because Ginny brought their lips together in the sweetest of peck.

“Eww, Lily, Hugo, cover your eyes,” said Teddy, laying his hands over the kids’ faces and making them chortle.

Harry rolled his eyes dramatically. “Very funny, but don’t think you’ll get away with it so easily.”

“Get away with what?” asked Hugo.

“Oh, only with the fact that Teddy still hasn’t admitted that he also received that book for his seventeenth birthday.”

“Uuuh, Uncle Bill will be happy to know Vic’s boyfriend needs a book to understand her!”

“Shut up, bug,” said Teddy, ruffling Hugo’s hair. “There’s nothing wrong in that book.”

Harry nodded in agreement – he had been the one to give it to him, after all – but he privately realised that, if Bill knew that book as well, he probably wouldn’t have been too thrilled to learn that Teddy owned a copy as well.

“Yeah, of course there’s not wrong,” said Hugo mischievously. “I’m going to write it all to Louis, tomorrow!”

“You will not, and who told you I’ve read it, anyway?”

Ron and Harry exchange an amused glance, knowing perfectly well there was no way Teddy hadn’t drawn lessons from that book.

“Back to you, Ron,” said Hermione, a glint in her eyes. “I understand that back then you had the emotional range of a teaspoon, but do you care to explain how it’s possible that, unlike Harry’s and Teddy’s books, yours didn’t prompt you to do the first move?” she teased.

Ron widened his eyes in theatrical astonishment. “Wait, are you telling me that talking about house elves in the middle of a battle isn’t considered a first move?” he asked, and nobody could bite back their grins.

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minmotl · 4 years

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Chapter 28: Sui Zhou Finds Out Just What A Glutton Tang Fan Is

Context: Follows directly after Chapter 27. For plot notes, scroll to the bottom.

Introduction Post | Masterpost

Highlights under the cut

Sui Zhou doesn’t know how he should face Tang-daren.

Looking at someone who possesses the talent of the top imperial scholar, while he wasn’t able to rank first in the end, he was still ranked in the top four amongst the nation’s scholars and was personally presented with a merit award by His Majesty. If he wrote something on Confucius like the Interpretation of the Analects or wrote an analytical piece on Zhu Zi, that counts as an extension of his studies and is an appropriate use of his talents, but what is Tang Fan doing now by writing erotica fiction?

Tang-daren smiles at him, not one bit ashamed. In fact, he’s proud of it, “My salary is low, so I’m just earning some money from the royalties. Guang Chuan, you do not have to be so surprised. Other than you, no one else knows that I wrote this, but this book was commercially printed by the publishers. A total of a thousand copies! It’s selling pretty well.”

Sui Zhou is now completely interested. He takes the single book out and says, “I will read this.”

“That’s great! Since you’ve accepted my book, I have something I’d like to trouble you with.”

Sui Zhou raises an eyebrow in question.

Tang Fan thinks that since Sui Zhou has accepted his book, he can now trouble the man to do something small for him, “How about you go outside and help me to pick the leaves from the locust tree?”

“…”

Does he think this is an exchange of favours? After being ridiculous for half a day, the other has not given up on eating cold noodles?

He truly is the world’s largest glutton!

Tang-daren naturally does not think so. He believes that it is fated for someone like him, who lives a riveting life filled with fun and enjoyment, to come and rescue the fool that is Sui Zhou. Just look at them now, since Tang Fan joined Sui Zhou here, the other man’s life is now filled with light.

In the end, he doesn’t manage to eat the Huai Ye Tao that has been constantly on his mind. This is because Sui Zhou brings the both of them out to a restaurant for a meal instead.

There is no Huai Ye Tao cold noodles, but there are crabs marinated with orange and steamed prawns, and the prawns were just caught from the river. While not as fresh and sweet as prawns caught from the sea, these aren’t bad at all - peeling off the prawn shells and dipping them into soy sauce with sesame oil and added minced garlic, this is truly one of the joys of life.

Tang-daren is eating with satisfaction and a sense of happiness washes over him, “Guang Chuan, that we can live so happily amongst the noise and bustle of life, watching as life happens before us as we eat, this is a freedom that we may not even have even if we begged for it. This is a form of enjoyment, enough for us to sit down and slowly savour.”

Tang Fan is easy to please, he’s not like the other officials who are exceedingly stubborn and rigid, difficult to interact with, and he’s definitely not like the plenty of other people in the world who lust after gold, property, huge salaries, unlimited power or beautiful women.

From Sui Zhou’s cold, stoic gaze, a little bit of warmth shines through. He shakes his head and says, “Even if it is a rest day, I stay at the Northern Administrative Court and look through records usually and rarely come out. Otherwise, having been promoted to baihu at my age, if I don’t work harder, people will think that I rose up in the ranks because of my connections.”

Tang Fan exclaims, “Whatever others like to think, that’s their business. We only have a pair of hands each between us and none of us can shut up so many mouths. As long as our conscience is clear, we should just enjoy ourselves when we can.”

What he said is very reasonable and Sui Zhou is about to reply, but Tang-daren changes the topic abruptly, “What’s that, later get the restaurant to pack two portions of cold dishes, we can eat that for supper at night.”

Sui Zhou stares at him, his face void of any expression.

Tang-daren blinks, “Then just one portion, that’s okay right?”

Ah Dong was unable to resist and is already covering her mouth, laughing so hard she’s collapsed at the side.

With one more Sui Zhou and one Ah Dong, Tang-daren originally thought that he could live a life of happiness without having to do any housework, but he did not expect that he found himself two old mothers who like to constantly manage him, especially when it comes to food. They’re so strict that Tang-daren can only look at the snacks and sigh.

However, in general, living like this is still pretty enjoyable. After all, every day when he returns home there is always one or two people waiting fo you. You can have a meal where there are plenty of hot, teaming dishes, you can be greeted with smiling faces, hear someone asking after your day. His sister is married and stays far away from here, but now it’s as if Tang Fan has two more people in his family, the feeling is entire different.

To Ah Dong who used to be with the Li family, while Lady Zhang treated her rather well and Ah Chun was very willing to take care of her, but she was still a servant and not meant to enjoy her life. There was a difference between her and those above her, as lively and energetic as she was she could not be do anything she wanted without control, and that’s why she liked running over to find Tang Fan. Now that she has recognised Tang Fan as her older brother, the feeling of having a family is indescribable. When she first moved to Sui Zhou’s house, she was so excited that she couldn’t sleep properly the first few days.

It’s not just Tang Fan and Ah Dong. Although Sui Zhou does not say it, he’s going home more frequently, the time that he reaches home getting earlier and even when it’s his rest days, he does not stay in the Northern Administrative Court anymore. From this, it seems that his thoughts are likely to be similar to Tang Fan’s.

***

“Da-ge, da-ge!”

His sleeve is shaken a few times and Tang Fan breaks out of his trance, seeing Ah Dong looking at him with confusion.

“What is it?”

“Da-ge, what are you thinking about? I kept calling for you but you didn’t respond, you scared me!” the young girl pats at her chest, and then points at Sui Zhou, who has just walked in from outside, “Sui da-ge is back, we can have dinner!”

Tang Fan frowns “Guang Chuan, regarding the Li family’s case, I thought of something and I’m about to tell you what I know, I’m afraid I’ll have to trouble you and the Northern Administrative Court again.”

Sui Zhou nods, “Let’s eat first.”

Ah Dong brings out the dishes with a spring in her step, and agrees, “That’s right, let’s just eat first, I’m about to die from starvation!”

Sui Zhou pats at Tang Fan’s arm, “We’ll talk after we eat.”

Although the words are simply and Sui Zhou’s tone is even, from this, Tang Fan feels that he can confidently trust in Sui Zhou. Tang Fan does not realize that his expression relaxes almost immediately at that.

He nods, and then smiles at Sui Zhou, “It’s all because of Ah Dong today that we can finally have some Huai Ye Tao, I’ve been craving it for so long!”

Ah Dong protests, “Da-ge you’ve got a lot of face to say this, you almost fell after climbing the tree, and to catch you, I almost broke my bones!”

“…”

Sui Zhou thought that after bringing Tang Fan to eat outside, the man would have given up on having the cold noodle dish, but who knew that Tang-daren would make use of his time while suspended from work and staying idly at home to actually climb a tree to pick the leaves himself.

Sui Zhou finally understands what a glutton’s fixation on food is.

===

Plot Notes:

If you haven’t read the introduction you should! Link is at the top of this post. In the introduction I mention Li Man, who is Tang Fan’s original landlord before he moves in with Sui Zhou, and also one of the big bads in the novel, working as a member of the White Lotus Sect.

The case that follows these few chapters is basically Li Man getting arrested and imprisoned for killing his wife, Lady Zhang. Tang Fan originally manages to arrest him for the murder, but then he realizes that something is amiss with Li Lin, Li Man’s only son who Tang Fan knows to be a good kid with a good temperament. After Li Man is arrested, Li Lin’s personality takes a turn for the worse and Tang Fan in the previous chapters is rather perplexed about this, but brushed it off somewhat, until Li Man kills himself in prison in this chapter, and he writes Tang Fan’s name on the wall as if accusing him of being responsible for his death. Because of this, Tang Fan is temporarily suspended from work while investigations continue.

Tang Fan solves the mystery at the end of this chapter — he determines that Li Man and Li Lin swapped places due to how similar they looked, i.e. Li Lin, his son, went into prison for his father, Li Man (yes some suspension of disbelief here). He also realizes that Li Lin wrote his name on the wall as a clue for him to beware of the current Li Man who is still alive and free, impersonating as Li Lin.

Li Man manages to escape with his mistress in the next two chapters, and he’ll turn up again in the next or next next segment! It’s pretty thrilling and amazing the next time he turns up, and Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are faced with a life-or-death situation in a cave and that’s when Sui Zhou realizes his feelings for Tang Fan so!!!

===

Notes:

*百户 bai hu

There are four ranks within the Embroidered Uniform Guards - 千户 (qian hu)、百户 (bai hu)、总旗 (zong qi)、小旗 (xiao qi) arranged highest to smallest rank, aside from the Commander 统领官 (zong ling guan).

*木头 mu tou

Literally means wooden block. Used as a metaphor for a person who’s dumb, rigid, boring or someone who’s not flexible in thinking.

*槐叶冷淘 huai ye leng tao

The novel names it huai ye tao, this is a historic cold noodle dish.

*十指不沾阳春水 shi zhi bu zhan yang chun shui

A line from an ancient poem, it means that someone is able to skip laundry duties in the winter in March due to the cold weather. What this actually means is that a person was born into a good family and has the fortune to not have to wash their clothes personally, or do house chores. This is usually used to describe females.

*眼睛里流露出一抹笑意 yan jing li liu lu chu yi mo xiao yi

This is frequently used for Sui Zhou in the novel and I’m putting a note in here because this is pretty interesting. What this literally means is that in Sui Zhou eyes, a smile is revealed/emerges. In Chinese we take it to mean that he’s smiling and the smile is reflected in his eyes, I’ve translated this to Sui Zhou either smiling or exuding warmth in his gaze, both of which are of course not quite accurate, but you can see why a literal translation would be strange.

#the sleuth of ming dynasty #tsomd #tsomd novel #成化十四年 #fanzhou #fanzhou highlights #tang fan #sui zhou #hahaha tang fan is honestly just...#hungry #and loves food

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cousinmarcustalkswrestling · 3 years

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Best NXT Matches of 2020 20-16

Johnny Gargano vs Leon Ruff vs Damian Priest - North American Title - Takeover War Games

Gargano tried to use lil Leon Ruff as fodder so he successfully defend a title for the first time in his career, but lil Leon Ruff upset him and won the NA title in his very first match. Priest got involved in their rematch to fuck with Johnny and before we know it, we have a triple threat. Johnny and Priest want the belt back and Ruff wants his respect.

Johnny shows his experience early, superkicking Priest out of the ring and trying to catch Leon with flash pins. Priest eventually makes his way back in and shows off his power. I love Priest’s interactions with Ruff because he really views him as a kid and doesn’t want to hurt him, but Ruff wants to be viewed as a legit competitor, so he brings the beast out of Priest (LOL). That beast tosses Ruff with a Razor’s Edge through the plexiglass barricade and Ruff is taken to the back to put his body back together. Priest and Gargano have a really good back and forth until Ruff makes his comeback with high flying. There’s a great spot where Priest is tied up in the ropes and Gargano puts Ruff in Gargano Escape right in front of him. A bunch of Gargano’s ghostface buddies interfere and Priest does two crazy sentons to dispatch them all, but he gets clocked by one that has a steel pipe. With priest dispatched, Gargano superkicks Ruff and hits the Final Beat DDT to win his third North American title. Really fun action and some great character interactions. The North American Title is 5 for 5 on Takeovers this year.

Pete Dunne vs Kyle O’Reilly - Ladder Match for War Games Advantage - November 25

Is there a such thing as a ladder match sprint? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a ladder match worked at such a fast pace, because stipulation matches are usually treated like epics with a lot of time. Seeing Pete Dunne so svelte is still jarring to me, but I’m happy to say it has no effect on his wrestling ability and he’s still fantastic. They both use the ladder to assist them in submission attempts, which is great psychology. They’re still sticking to their formulas, just incorporating a ladder. Dunne wraps Kyle’s arm around the ladder while he bends his fingers and then he puts the ladder leg on top of Kyle’s hand while he climbs. Kyle gives Pete dragon screws through the ladder rungs. They have some crazy ladder bumps, like Dunne powerbombing Kyle onto a ladder and Dunne suplexing them both through a bridged ladder. They still stick to their bread and butter of strikes and limb torture and they have a fun spot where they tug of war pull each other into the ladder. Dunne gives Kyle a Bitter End on the barricade then jets in the ring and that feels like the true ending, but Kyle is still alive and stops it. Thats the only time that their fast pace works against them because that would’ve been a great finish and Kyle’s no-sell hurt some drama. Kyle pushes Dunne onto a ladder, but A MYSTERY MAN knocks Kyle off the ladder and Pete is able to give The Brand the win. They incorporated their styles really creatively with the ladder and worked a blistering pace.

Io Shirai vs Candice Lerae - Tables Ladders and Scares Match - Women’s Title - Halloween Havoc

Halloween Havoc makes it return to the wrestling world after 20 years of dormancy. This was the deserved main event and its a great match that continues the trend of Io’s TV matches being better than her Takeover matches. They worked their Takeover 31 match to greatness, but it was structurally limited. Here, they have more fun and its a better match. Candie finds a bag filled with a bunch of chopped up limbs that freak her out. So Io grabs the body parts and beats her with him lmao. That’s a funny part, but its a pretty brutal match. They wack each other with chairs, Io misses a moonsault and lands on a gang of chairs, and Candice delivers a neckbreaker through double tables. The ending involves the mysterious Ghostface character (very disappointing reveal) that helped Johnny Gargano earlier that night and begins the genesis of the Candice vs Shotzi Blackheart feud. Great fun match.

Adam Cole vs Tommaso Ciampa - NXT Title - Takeover Portland

This is the match that kinda “exposed” the “formula” of NXT main events being structured a relentlessly epic and dramatic to the point of overkill. Ciampa takes a Panama Sunrise on the floor that realistically should end the match especially considering Ciampa just returned from a neck injury that had him out for about six month. But not only does this not end the match, Ciampa proceeds to kick out of numerous finishers, fight off the Undisputed Era, and generally be a seemingly indestructible badass. Its overkill to the highest level, it broke my suspension of disbelief and yet, I still think its a great match. Ciampa has a great performance and the fans are crazy behind him, which is outrageous considering he was the most sinister heel in NXT’s history just two years earlier. It’s intense as hell and even though they broke reality, I still was super into the drama down the stretch. We’ve seen four Takeovers since this one and none of the main events have attempted to replicate this kind of grandiose type of match. Your mileage may vary.

Imperium vs Undisputed Era - Worlds Collide

For a card as good as Worlds Collide, it feels super forgotten because it was instantly overshadowed by the Royal Rumble and Takeover Portland, then the world descended into….the world we have right now. This main event was a collision between two dominant factions that can all wrestle like hell. Things start a little plain which is kind of a downside of having a bunch of white dudes who are all variants on being efficient good wrestlers (outside of Walter). A stiff kick from Bobby Fish legitimately KOs Alexander Wolfe and I hate to sound insensitive, but….its exactly what the match needed. Wolfe’s KO makes it a handicap match and it becomes a really interesting dynamic where The UE assume the true heel role and it makes a Walter hot tag the most anticipated part of the match. That hot tag lives up to the expectation I had and seeing him mow through the UE is crazy entertaining. The sequence between O’Reilly and Walter is awesome and ends with a Walter German suplexing Kyle AND Roderick Strong. And as awesome as Walter is, Roderick Strong might be the MVP of this match. He has an exhilarating chopfest with Walter and down the stretch he Olympic Slams Walter though an announce table. The whole match gets more creative and crazier down the stretch. In the end, Walter kills Bobby Fish with a powerbomb and Imperium gets the victory in this great main event.

#wrestling #2020 #nxt #imperium #undisputed era #adam cole #Tommaso Ciampa #walter #roderick strong #kyle oreilly #io shirai #candice lerae #johnny gargano #leon ruff #damian priest #pete dunne

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tbhwhocaresanymore · 4 years

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Nancy Drew 1x10

SHE’S BACK BITCHES. DEAD LUCY IS BACK.

Ahem. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Okay so I finally had time to rewatch the new Nancy Drew ep and it is just as fantastic as the first time. When you look at it in comparison to episode one you can really see just how much the characters have grown, as individuals and especially as friends. Bess being very obviously in George’s office so she’s not alone with Ryan? Watching George go from hating Nancy’s guts to trying to break open a door with poison on the other side just to get her out? Nancy very resignedly saying to Claire “yeah but they don’t ever listen to me.” Beautiful. And Ace is back from his coma, and it sounds like Lara Tandy also soon will be. The writers are just juggling so many storylines with such a huge cast, and they are doing such a great job which is a nice change of pace from the other shows I watch.

This episode had some phenomenal jump scares, mostly involving Dead Lucy (my literal favorite character). When they entered the gym and the lights and buzzer switched on with no warning? I physically fell out of my chair. And the plot was really good too. It was written like a stand alone episode, but also in a way where it still tied into the overall plot. Nancy hanging all the ghost traps, mentions of her dad’s arrest and her arraignment, the Bonny Scot stuff. As for Claire being the murderer? The second Nancy started showing symptoms and not Claire I grew suspicious, but the plot twist was still wonderfully done, and Claire’s actress did an amazing job for only having like five minutes of lines. Also, Ace’s dad? Huge plus. He seems like a cool character and I am always down for deaf/ASL representation, and they did it so well.

I don’t trust that the Bess being a Marvin storyline is fully wrapped up, it could just go so many different ways. And for it to have been the point of like six episodes only to be wrapped up in thirty seconds? Maybe Bess is not really a Marvin and Owen is playing her to get her to help him with the Bonny Scot case because I still do not totally trust him. But I may be biased here, because the book fan in me is still rooting for her and George to turn out cousins somehow, and if she’s cousins with both George and the Marvins? That’s pushing the suspension of disbelief a little bit.

I also truly do not know where they’re trying to take Ryan Hudson’s character. Maybe going for some sort of morally grey character, or an anti-hero? He told Bess and Owen he wouldn’t help them but he also has an artifact that was clearly from Bonny Scot, and wants to get together with his dad. If I had to guess, and I love to guess, I’d say he’s planning to blackmail his family with it. Whether to just get out, or maybe get recompense for Lucy all those years ago, I don’t know. But I do love that George does not buy his bullshit.

Nancy did a really amazing job this episode. Seeing what her father’s arrest has done to her, how much it has taken away her confidence and made her question herself. I am very much looking forward to her coming out the other side of this stronger than ever. And she is honestly so brilliant. Realizing Claire must have taken an antidote and that it was the ring on her finger because one of the pearls was missing? Are you kidding me? And even though she’s dying, using her possible last breaths to try and find out if this is the woman who killed Tiffany. And then seeing Nancy Drew, badass, crooked cop catching, murder solving, take no prisoners Nancy Drew, asking for mercy, saying she doesn’t want to die, because after all she’s only 19 years old? Spectacular.

All the Nancy and Nick moments? I am officially deceased. When he was performing CPR, his voice cracking as he yelled “come on Nancy!” And then when she woke up and he gave this little sort of half-sob and just held her into him, saying “got you, I got you.” I am dead and these writers have killed me. Then at the end, when they were leaving, and Nick left and Nancy sort of turned around and rested her head against the door. The shipper in me was hoping they would get back together right then, but I also think it’s good that they didn’t. Nick broke up with her because he feels she just doesn't have room for him in her life, I think he’s going to stick with that for a while, regardless of his feelings for her. In the meantime, still pretty sure the writers will go in the Nick x George and Nancy x Owen direction, or maybe Nancy x Ace? This episode definitely showed off their chemistry.

Now I have to talk about this, you know I have to talk about this, I am so looking forward to talking about this.

DEAD LUCY.

As I said, she’s BACK. When Nancy was walking toward the light and you could just sort of see her standing up? Poetic cinema. The second I could sort of see her silhouette I was like “FUCK YES.” Nancy is literally about to die and she’s just like “not today” and screams her back to life. I have two possible reasons. This plays into my Nancy is Lucy’s daughter theory, or it could be that she knows Nancy is her best chance of her murderer getting brought to justice after almost 20 years. And then at the end of the episode, when the camera pans, I legit sat up straighter and leaned toward the tv, all ‘come on where is she’. And then she was there in the closet doorway and I felt so vindicated.

The one downside of having a cast full of amazing characters is I want all of them to be on screen all the time. (Except Owen and Ryan, they can go get married and move to Europe and be shady husbands only mentioned in passing and I would be fine with that.) Chief McGinnis, Lisbeth, Victoria who I am still waiting on, Ace’s dad, Lara Tandy. I want them all to come back.

A few final thoughts moving forward. Is Nancy ever going to get arraigned for breaking and entering? This happened all the way back in episode one or two, and it keeps getting mentioned. I mean at this point Dead Lucy better show up and kill the judge, like I need something important to happen at this thing. I am also now even more invested in my ‘Nancy’s mom killed Lucy’ theory. Her dad isn’t explaining any of the evidence against him away, and the only reason he would do that is to protect Nancy. Now either he is protecting her from the Hudsons, because they told her dad to take the fall and he knows they’ll hurt her if he doesn’t; or, he is protecting her from the knowledge that her mom is a murderer. And because I feel like we’re supposed to think the Hudsons killed Lucy, it makes me think the mom killed her. Speaking of Dead Lucy, I’m hoping there was a specific reason Simon threw her very far away, and it’s not just chalked up to ‘he’s evil’. Still hoping that George eventually becomes psychic like her mom.

Super excited for 1x11 the promo and summary look promising. I have no idea how Carson’s arrest relates to the Bonny Scot sinking, but I can’t wait to find out. And Dead Lucy will be present, which immediately improves any episode quality by five thousand percent. And the episode title, the Phantom of Bonny Scot, makes me think we might be getting another ghost. Fingers crossed.

#Nancy Drew #Nancy Drew cw #Nancy Drew 2019 #George Fan #Bess Marvin #Ned Nick Nickerson #Nancy x Nick #episode analysis #I analyze things #or try to #Dead Lucy #my theories #the mark of the poisoner's pearl

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yourbeauties · 4 years

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deleted scene from ch 16

This is a different version of the scene where Bill confronts the teacher about Holden’s Matchbox car. It’s far inferior to the scene I ended up posting, IMO, but if you are interested in my writing process, maybe you will find it interesting.

Some context:

- When the story was emerging and I knew that I wanted a toy of Holden’s to go missing and for Bill to investigate, I ended up going entirely the wrong route. I thought the principal would take it, because he was a collector of tchotchkes, and then I had to figure out what Holden’s toy would be based on that. So I spent a lot of time learning about Matchbox cars, only to throw most of it out!

- I wrote a very loose outline of the parent-teacher meeting with only the principal and not Mrs. Reid, that featured the things McNarland had collected in his office. He said he displayed them to show his students how to be patient, because the collectables gained value over time? Or something lol?

- I ended up deciding against this plan because a) collectables weren’t as big a field at this point in time, I think, and b) it wasn’t hitting the profiling theme as strongly as I thought it could. I wasn’t connecting how Bill could figure it out, or how he could “interview” the principal. Once I realized that the actual item didn’t matter, and it should just be about the theft itself, the rest fell into place. RIP all that Matchbox car research! Then I went and created Mrs. Reid and the Campus Creep to be mirrors of each other. (I also decided using the principal would be too close to the foot-tickling principal in canon.)

- When I was first outlining this story, I also kicked around the idea of Holden getting bullied by popular jock-types at school. At some point I was going to have him being hazed, and getting himself out of being hurt by offering sexual favours to the bullies. I was looking for a way to keep the sexual acting-out symptom of abuse that we saw in chapter two alive.

- Dealing with bullies at school was kind of stressing me out though, it seemed like a lot of pipe to lay for what was essentially a C-Story. And while I wanted to keep the thread of his sexual acting-out-ness alive, I didn’t want to go too deep on it. So at some point, it shifted to his teacher. Mrs. Reid was going to be a man, and I was going to have an off-screen scene where Mr. Reid asked Holden to stay after class because he had failed a test or something. Holden would panic and try to offer some kind of sexual favour, the way he panicked and touched Bill’s thigh in chapter two. Mr. Reid would shut it down, but NOT report it to anyone— until Holden got lost in DC on Mr. Reid’s watch. Then that would all come out in the parent-teacher meeting.

- However, because the parent-teacher meeting was going to have to cover 1) the book 2) suspension and 3) the Matchbox car, another element just seemed like too much. The consequences of something like that seemed like they’d take over the story, and again, I thought that wouldn’t strike the right tone with Holden’s symptoms of abuse. I’m not sure if I am reaching the right tone at all anyway, but I think less is more.

Anyway, with all that in mind, here is the scene!

—

Bill went to James Monroe to talk to the principal.

“Hey, about Holden,” he started.

“Mr. Tench, I know you’re in a tough situation with him, but policy is policy,” said Mr. McNarland.

Bill shook his head. “It’s not about the suspension. I totally understand. And I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday, with Holden’s outburst. I was taken aback, and I shouldn’t have let it get so out of control.”

Mr. McNarland blinked. “Well. I appreciate that, Mr. Tench. Thank you.”

“This business with the Matchbox car, though,” said Bill. He coughed, and shifted. “Holden’s been through a lot.”

Mr. McNarland nodded. “I know. He’s not the only child in care that I’ve had as a student. I know it’s a unique challenge.”

“Yeah. It is.” Bill nodded in return, mirroring the principal’s movements. “He doesn’t have a lot of his own possessions. We only recently started giving him an allowance and he doesn’t even seem to know what to do with it. But he had those cars since he was little. They mean more to him than a typical kid’s toys do. And you’re a collector, Mr. McNarland.” He nodded at the display shelf of aging trinkets. “You know how important a kid’s toys can be to begin with.”

Mr. McNarland sighed. “That’s unfortunate. My heart goes out to him. But…” he shrugged. “Screaming at school staff, and his foster parents, and trying to destroy someone else’s property is not the right way to deal with his problems.”

Bill nodded, frowning, trying to look like he was taking in what the principal was saying. “I’m just trying to help him figure it out. Because he’s very organized. It’s not like him to lose things.”

Mr. McNarland sighed and shook his head. “Well… even the most organized kids lose things, Mr. Tench.”

“Yeah,” Bill conceded. “But not Holden. Not really. You don’t live with him. He’s meticulous. More than any adult I know. And if he says he never took those Matchbox cars out of that plastic bag, I believe him.”

Mr. McNarland fiddled with his tie uncomfortably. “I’m not quite sure what you’re getting at here, Mr. Tench.”

Bill leaned forward. Let his face get a little harder. “Holden didn’t lose his Matchbox car at home. And I seriously doubt he would have taken it out at school. Do you think he would have?”

Mr. McNarland frowned. His fingers fiddled with his tie faster.

“You always wear such cute ties?” Bill asked. “The little boats yesterday. Planes today. The Matchbox people make boats and planes, too. But you knew that, didn’t you?”

Mr. McNarland looked taken aback. “Are you… insinuating something?”

“I’m not insinuating shit,” Bill spat. “You know exactly what Holden was talking about when he had his tantrum. And you know that the only time his backpack was out of his sight was when you were searching it.”

“Mr. Tench—”

“You said you knew how hard that particular car was to find. You said Matchbox wasn’t the same after Superfast. Because you knew that’s why they don’t make Holden’s car anymore.” Bill leaned one arm on the principal’s desk. “I wonder if you happen to know how much a late ‘60s, pre-Superfast, brown Ford Cortina with doors that open is worth these days. Probably not a fortune, but at least two or three times what was paid for it, right?”

The principal sputtered indignantly.

“But the trick is to wait,” Bill said, staring McNarland straight in the eye, “for the value to mature.”

McNarland’s lip quivered. He broke the stare, and shook his head rapidly. “Mr. Tench, this is really out of line.”

“Oh, is it?” Bill stood. “You know what I think is out of line? A teacher that doesn’t do anything about a student trying to trade sexual favours with him, and a principal who steals from poor foster kids.”

“Excuse me!” McNarland stood too, trying and failing to match Bill’s height. “If you have an issue with how we’re handling Mr. Reid, you’re welcome to take it up with the school board. But I won’t stand here and let you accuse me of—”

“You’re fucking right I’m gonna take it up with the school board,” said Bill. “Where’s the car, McNarland? Or do you want me to get the Bureau involved, too?”

McNarland laughed in disbelief. “Mr. Tench, you are not the only law enforcement parent who’s tried to pull strings.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m the only law enforcement parent whose foster kid you were dumb enough to steal from. Give it back.”

“I don’t have it,” McNarland said forcefully, hands fisted in his tie, dropping his gaze on the last word.

“Then maybe it’s not just me who goes to the school board,” said Bill. “Maybe I’ll round up all the other law enforcement parents and tell them how Mr. Reid let a kid make sexual passes at him for over two months and nothing was done about it. Maybe I’ll call all the military parents I know, too. I know some Marines who would be thrilled to hear it.”

McNarland huffed. “You think— you think I don’t see bullies like you day in and day out? You think I didn’t grow up with kids like you, who are used to— to making threats to get what they want?”

“Oh, I’m sure you were well acquainted with bullies like me when you were a nerd in high school,” said Bill. “But the difference between us, Mr. McNarland, is that I grew up and got my head out of my ass. While sad twerps like you grew up into the kind of adults who would steal a toy from a child.” He shook his head and turned to leave. “I guess we’re done. You’ll hear from the school board.”

“Wait.” Mr. McNarland’s voice was strained. He shakily opened a drawer and slapped a little Matchbox on the desk. The brown Ford Cortina.

Bill sighed, half disbelieving. “You’re pathetic,” he sneered, taking the Matchbox and slipping it in his pocket.

“Get out of my office,” McNarland snapped.

“Gladly,” said Bill. “You should get started on your resume, Mr. McNarland.”

He stepped out of the principal’s office and closed the door with a shaky sigh. The secretary stared at him, wide-eyed.

“I think I may have made your life a bit harder, Miss. Sorry about that.”

#ch16 #deleted scenes #who composed your beauties

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iamchrissi · 5 years

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Reflections on the water

I was rather frustrated with how little insight we got into Bev’s thoughts in Lies Sleeping. I fully understand that this is in a big part due to the limitations of Peter’s POV, but seriously, couldn’t we like, at least get a conversation between the two of them on things like kids?

Therefore, have a Bev characters study. Lies Sleeping Spoilers!

Also on AO3

She does the test alone.

Beverley thought about calling Peter, telling him when she realized her period was late, but Peter is... distracted, lately. Not that she blames him. Lesley always does a number on him, and now with Chorley dead and all that trauma that particular fight entails, he's almost sleepwalking through life.

She could have called any of her sisters, too, but with her sisters come opinions and gossip and before she'll know it all of them will know and... this is supposed to be just for her and Peter, at least at first. It's supposed to be theirs.

So, she does the test alone. She goes to a drugstore, buys three different brands, glares at the elderly white woman with the judgy eyes, and then she goes home and pees on three sticks.

They're all positive.

Bev breathes. In and Out. Closes her eyes. Feels a fierce joy bubbling up in chest, and an almost paralysing fear.

She pulls out her phone, dials Ty's number without even thinking about it. Her finger hovers over the call button, but then she puts the phone away again. Ty raised her, almost as much as Mum did. But Ty also gets extremely judgy. And her and Peter will never be close.

Bev opens her eyes, puts on her shoes and goes to visit Mum instead.

Bev wants kids. Always has.

She's been the first to volunteer for babysitting since she was old enough to do it. Chelsea and Olympia think she's daft for it, for doing chores when she doesn't have to, but Bev's always liked being around kids.

She likes the trust they put in her, and there's very few things that make her feel as good as the knowledge that she did good by a kid. Of course, most kids she's around are her little sisters, but that just means she already loves them anyway.

Ty used to tell her that she should go to college, first. That a good education was most important, and a good job the next important thing. That respect was the most important thing in the world, and once she got that, she could think of other things, like kids. But not before.

Bev never really listened when Ty got like that. It's not like she'll ever want for money, and at that age she'd rarely been around people who didn't respect her. Mum was good at keeping those far, far away.

Mum takes one look at Bev's face and sends all the others from the room. They go silently, but they all look at Bev in the way that means she'll be the talk of the family for weeks to come. It doesn't matter. Bev's never really left the gossip of the family ever since she was a hostage of the country cousins and decided to date a wizard. She's used to it.

She stands there, looking at Mum, until she makes a short gesture with her hand, and Bev almost collapses at her side, head on Mum's lap. Mum's hand finds her hair, weaving through it like she used to when Bev was a little girl.

Mum still doesn't say anything. She's waiting, and she will keep waiting, until Bev says what she wants to say. What she needs to say. I'm not someone to do your talking for you, she always says. If you have something to say, say it yourself.

“I'm having a baby.” She says, finally, making sure not to mumble. Ty hates it when she mumbles.

Mum keeps weaving her hand through Bev's hair. She smells like she always smells, of sea and salt and home, and Bev takes comfort in it. Mum'll still be here in a thousand years, she's sure, looking and smelling the same, an anchor in a complicated world.

“My baby is having a baby.” Mum says, finally, a feeling of joy in her voice. Bev's not the first of Mum's daughters to have kids, of course. Fleet and Ty still argue who of them holds that honor, Fleet with her foster kids or Ty with her biological ones. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that Mum is happy about it.

“Children always scare you, baby. They will as long as you life. But they'll give you joy, so much more than you can understand right now.” Mum says, and Bev feels tears run down her cheeks. She's sure she makes wet patches on Mum's skirt, but Mum doesn't mention it, and Bev won't either.

It's more than that, of course. It's Bev being a River and Peter being a wizard and Peter falling apart and fucking Lesley and magic and all that damned business. But right now, Bev needs to be just a woman who going to her mother because she is anxious about her first pregnancy.

Mum lets her stay.

That week, when Peter is missing, that week is the worst of Bev's life. She tries to tell herself that Lesley wouldn't hurt him, not really. Because Lesley was his friend, wasn't she? He trusted her. He's been trying to tell himself that Lesley doesn't really want to work with Chorley, she knows he has. And maybe she wants to believe that, too.

But Bev also thought that Lesley would never do something like kidnapping Peter, and obviously she did, so maybe none of them ever really knew her.

But that's not a good thing to be thinking about, not when she has Peter and Bev is panicking.

She goes to the Folly every morning, before class, and talks to Nightingale. He's not that much help. She knows he's working on it, going through every hint of where Peter might be at every given time, day or night. He looks worse every day, like he hasn't slept at all, but then again, it's not like Bev sleeps all that much.

She had meant to tell Peter. About the baby. She had meant to tell him. But she'd only known for two days herself, before Lesley got him, and he hadn't... he hadn't really been in a good place. Mentally. Emotionally.

She had figured that maybe she should give him a bit more time to calm down before dropping this bomb on him, no matter how happy it is.

But now... what if she never gets the chance to tell him?

“We're going to find him.” Nightingale tells her on the fifth day. His voice isn't breaking, but it's not as sure as it usually is, either. She's not sure if he's trying to convince her or himself.

“Of course we will.” She says, and is proud that her voice isn't breaking either.

(When she sees Peter again, who broke himself out, because of course he did, it feels like she can finally breathe again. Like all this week, she's been trying to inhale water and now it's air again. She thinks she gets it now, why people think twice about dating coppers.)

Bev knows she's young. Younger than people usually are when they have children, these days. But she's been with Peter for over a year, now. They're happy, when Lesley doesn't fuck things up. They want to stay together.. They both want kids.

And it's not like she doesn't have the resources for it. She has so many sisters, willing to help with advice and deed, she has her Mum and Peter's parents, always there to call. And money will never be a problem for a daughter of Mama Thames.

But still. Bev knows she's young. None of her friends from the university are even thinking of having kids yet. Not that they're generally averse to the idea, at least most of them aren't. But they're young, and they are free, and they want to stay that way for at least a few more years.

She considered that, too. The idea of being without any true bindings, of being free to travel to India and Australia and Nigeria and the like, spontaneously, whenever she wants to.

But Bev has never been that big on travelling. And finding babysitters shouldn't be a problem, with that big of a family. And she's sure Peter will work just as hard as she will.

And if she has to glare at a dozen judgy old ladies, then so what. They're going to judge a young black woman anyway, no matter what she does.

Peter reacts like she knew he would. Disbelief, then amazed joy. It makes Bev smile bigger than she can ever remember smiling, and it makes her hope.

Because she's been worried. Peter's not really been himself for a while now, and even though she thinks the therapist is helping, it doesn't mean everything is well.

But the way he smiles at her when she puts his hand on his stomach, still flat, reminds her of how he used to smile back when they first met. There's something youthful in it, something honest and happy and true. He hasn't looked that happy since Lesley switched sides.

(Sometimes, she wants to find Lesley, and drown her in her river. She could, she knows it. She's a goddess, there are very few limits to what she can do. And her sisters would help her cover it up. But then she'd have to lie to Peter, for the rest of his life. Because Peter is a police officer, first and foremost, suspended or not, and there's no way he'd ever look at her the same way again if she murdered someone. Even Lesley. Especially Lesley.)

That evening, they're making plans. Talking about everything and nothing, about nurseries and who's parents will babysit more. She tells him that she told her Mum first, and he tells her that he'd like to wait a bit until telling his parents.

They talk about whether they'd like a boy or a girl. They talk about the fact that both of them would like at least two children, because Bev grew up with so many sisters she can't think of her child not having any siblings, and Peter grew up an only child and would have liked a companion.

They don't talk about his suspension. Or him being a wizard, an Isaac, or her being a River. They stear clear of any topic that might lead to complicated discussions.

This evening is for celebration.

Ty sat her down, once, when it became obvious that Bev and Peter were going serious.

“We're not human.” She said, turning her wedding ring around her finger. She'd been wearing one of her costumes, an expensive looking light grey skirt and jacket over a white blouse. She looked rich, and powerful, and Bev wished she didn't.

She wished Ty had been wearing jeans and t-shirt, like she had in Bev's earliest memories of her. When she wasn't all that caught up in being respectable and powerful and showing all rich white men that she's better than them.

Not that that's not a totally reasonably goal that Bev totally supports. And Ty is totally better than all of them. It's just that she wished Ty wouldn't put on a show with her. That Ty knew that she's got nothing to prove to Bev.

“We're not human. We're not, Bev. I know you're young, and you see being a Goddess as just living a normal life with a few extra perks and responsibilities, but it's not.” Ty was not looking at Bev as she said it, she's staring at her ring.

“You're going to outlive him. Your wizard. And you're going to outlive all your college friends, too. And everyone you know, who isn't family or possibly Nightingale. Even some who... some who are family.” Ty's voice didn't break, but she had to take several deep breaths, which is almost the same coming from Ty.

She's talking about her children, Bev had realized with horror. She'd never... thought of it, truly, before that conversation with Ty. She'd just assumed … well, she'd assumed that they'd live. Live like her and Mum and her sisters.

Ty's hands were shaking, and Bev put hers over them. She couldn't think of anything to say. So she didn't say anything. Just held onto her sister, sitting there in her expensive costume, hands shaking with emotion she barely expresses to anyone anymore.

Peter being on suspension means that he's home a lot. He goes to the therapist, and he's at the Folly for magic lessons, and every now and then he just goes to have tea with Sahra and with Abigail and Nightingale and even Varvara. Sometimes they come here, too. It's good for him, to have this break. To focus on himself. To actually emotionally deal with things.

It also means that they are spending an unprecedent amount of time together. Not that Bev doesn't have her own things to do. She still goes to university, of course, and there's her duties as goddess, and she's got her own friends, too. She meets her sisters and sometimes she steals Sahra away.

But still. They spend a lot of time together. And it's good. Better than good. They watch silly action movies and share fantasy books and babysit Bev's younger sisters. Sometimes they go ghost hunting with Abigail, too. Or have Abigail just come to stay with them, so she's not alone at home.

They're good. They're better than good.

Two girls are playing in Fleets garden when Bev visits her, two of Fleets daughters. Niki, the changeling, and Sarah, who Fleet had found abandoned five years ago near her river.

Bev watches them as Fleet makes them some tea. She tries to picture her own child with them, playing make believe and running through the garden.

“How do you do it?” She blurts out. She didn't mean to start like this. She's not sure how she thought she'd start, what she'd say, but she hadn't meant to be this direct.

Fleet doesn't say anything for a moment, just puts the tea down on the table and sits down next to her. She's thinking about her answer, Bev can tell, really considering it. That's rare with Fleet, that she has to think about how to answer a question. Fleet has always been a woman who knows exactly what she wants, thinks and does.

“I suppose it's like how any mother raises any child. You can make plans, you can try to avoid any dangers and unpleasant moments, but life doesn't play that way. Not for ordinary mothers, and certainly not for us.”

“But how...” Bev doesn't want to be afraid. She's never liked it. Beverley Brook Thames charges right into the fray, she doesn't dither and worry. But this... this whole thing...

“You can't change it, so don't try. I look at my children and I don't know what their future holds. With some of them I don't even know what their past is like. All I have is today. Tomorrow, they might develop worrying powers, or they might fall in love with someone who doesn't love them back, or they might get in trouble in school or any other of a myriad of frightening possibilities. You can't focus on that, it'll drive you insane.”

She smiles at Bev, kindly, with that warm smile she'll always associate with Fleet.

“What is going to happen will happen. You can't stop it, you can't change it. That is the reality of life as a mother. So don't try, and don't worry too much. You have today. Everything else is going to figure itself out.”

Sahra shows up with a huge box of chocolates, a couple weeks before they officially announce it. Bev doesn't ask how Sahra knows, and Sahra doesn't tell, but it's not that important.

“You look good.” Sahra says, honest and calm. They've been meeting for coffee regularly for a while now, ever since that business in Hyde Park One made Sahra a definite part of all of this.

Bev hadn't really known what to make of her, at first, whether she should trust this woman who more or less took Lesley's place after Lesley betrayed... everyone, really. But Sahra is not anyone's replacement. Sahra is herself, first and foremost, a good copper and a good friend and a good woman. And talking shit about Nightingale and Peter is a lot more fun with her than it ever was with Lesley.

(There was always a certain... hard edge, to Lesley's complaining. Bev isn't sure if she really noticed it at the time, before everything, but in hindsight... Lesley meant it, a lot of the times, when she talked them down. Sahra is annoyed with them, and she's honest in her critizism, but she's friendlier about it.)

“Thanks.” Bev says, taking a piece of chocolate and savoring it. It's good chocolate, dark and full of flavor. “So do you.”

Sahra is wearing her dragon jacket, the one that makes her walk even taller than usual, over a pair of jeans and a black hijab. There's a spark in her eyes, a comfortable self assurance that has only grown since she's started smelling of magic. She looks so good that if Bev wasn't madly in love with Peter and Sahra wasn't crushing on her friend Michael, this would be much flirtier.

“Two gorgeous ladies and a lot of chocolate. If we were white, this could be the scene in chick flicks where one of us got cheated on by her boyfriend and us artistically crying about it to her best friend.” Sahra says, and Bev laughs.

“We wouldn't cry about it. We'd punch their goddammned lights out.” She says.

“Absolutely.” Sahra grins.

They tell Peter's parents on a sunny Sunday when she reaches the end of the first trimester. The maternity books she reads all agree that the chances of losing the baby dwindle dramatically after reaching that point.

Not that she had been that worried about that possibility, but still. It sort of makes sense to tell them at that point.

“Oh my dear.” Rose says, hand over her mouth, and then she hugs Bev. She hugs like Mum does. Over her shoulder, Bev can see Peter and his dad also hugging, sort of awkwardly. She smiles.

Bev doesn't have a father. Of course she doesn't, she was born of her river. She has a mother, and she has sisters, and a whole host of country cousins, but they weren't really family when she grew up.

The thing is, she doesn't have a father. She never needed one, not with Mum and her sisters, and she never really wanted one, either. She has a family. There was no vacancy left for a father to fill.

But her baby will have one.

Peter will be an amazing father, there's no doubt about it. He adores children, and he's good with them, and he adores Bev and the thought of being a father and...

Peter will be an amazing father. And Bev likes to think she'll be an amazing mother.

It shouldn't be a thing, to her, that she doesn't have a father, and her baby will have one. She knows Peter worries. His father... well, he tried, and he's still trying, but nobody is under any illusions that anyone other than Rose did the parenting.

It isn't a thing to her, most days, and maybe that's why it's weird. But that's just part of what's always going to be kind of weird.

There's a card in the post one day. Pretty in that generic way, some flowers and the sun.

Congratulations, it reads, in a handwriting Bev somewhat recognizes. All my love, LM.

She stares at the card for a few minutes, and then she goes to the river and burns it. She makes sure that there isn't even the smallest piece left, and then she lets the ashes float away with the water.

Lesley does not get to mess with Peter's mind again.

They have to talk about it, eventually, of course. About Rivers and wizards and magic.

“I don't know how it's going to be.” Bev says, and she doesn't hide how scary that is. “Ty's kids are mostly human, except for like, a good feeling for her River and an ability to tell when someone is … different. And they can smell wizards. But Ty's husband isn't a wizard, either, so...”

“Well.” Peter says, looking at her with a certain spark of curiousity in his eyes. This spark is a big part of why she fell in love with him, Bev thinks, this want to understand, not just to accept things as given but to truly make sense of them.

“Everyone can learn to be a wizard, if they put in the work. And as far as I know, it doesn't actually change the gene sequence or anything like that. Though... there was Melissa.”

“But Melissa is... well, I'm pretty sure it doesn't come from just her grandfather.” Mostly sure. It's really rude to ask why someone is special if they don't volunteer that information. Which Melissa hasn't. But her and Bev are still texting each other every other week or so, so maybe one day she will.

Or she won't. She's an awesome friend anyway.

“Magic can change people, we know that. Niki, the fake one, or the real one?... she changed just by virtue of having been exposed to magic for years, she learned the glamour. And her older sister, her eye color changed in just one night. Though that might have been the Fairy Queen deliberately doing that? So maybe magic does change practicioners too, and we just don't know it yet?” Peter is going scientific again, which is cute, but she can also tell he's kind of really worried.

Bev is worried, too. And scared, and anxious, and all those words that describe that deep pit of fear in her stomach when she thinks about all the ways that this can go wrong.

But there are also all the ways this can, and will, go right. She thinks of what Fleet said.

“We can't change it anyway. What is going to happen will happen. All we can do is be happy about it.” She says, quoting her sister, and puts Peter's hand on her belly. She's showing, now, quite a bit, and it's still an unbelievable thing.

Peter smiles.

Peter tells Nightingale alone. They considered doing it together, like they did with his parents, but somehow that would have felt wrong. Peter's and Nightingale's relationship is quite a messy one, if Bev thinks about it, what with Nightingale being Peter's colleague, his mentor, his friend, a person he lived with and his boss, all together, at the same time.

Bev sticks with Molly and Foxglove while Peter and Nightingale have their chat. She doesn't have to tell them. They've known for a while. Molly has started packing Bev a bigger lunch, and Bev is pretty sure she's seen a cookbook for pregnant women in the kitchen lately.

“Thank you both. For all your help.” She tells them sincerely. They smile at her, a minute thing from Molly, a bigger one from Foxglove, but both honest, both real. You're not alone, their smiles say. You have a family, right here, and all over town. You will never have to be alone.

That's the part that matters, she thinks. Not the magic, not goddesses and wizards and coppers and criminals. Family is what matters. And it's all around her.

#rivers of london #beverley brook #peter grant #lies sleeping spoilers #sahra guleed #my writing #i hope this is not like horrifically ooc but it demanded to be written #rol

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btshobicore · 5 years

Text

Fate pt.2: Harry styles x reader

Pt.2: A sudden, yet intriguing encounter has made its way into your life, by the one person you had least expected it from. Your life’s been turned upside down, in the best of ways. What do you do?

Word count: 1.7k+

“Harry? How did you know where I live?”

Harry Styles walked through the door in a sharp black suit and a beautiful One Direction® tie. “Don’t worry about it baby, it’s time to go...” he said, with a devilish smirk spread across his face. All of your precious thoughts and worries dissipated as he said that one word: “baby”. The word echoed through your head as he grabbed your by the wrist, perhaps a bit too harshly, and dragged you outside to the car. Did The Harry Styles just call you baby? If this was a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. You watched passively through the window of his Tesla model X P100D, staring at the lights glowing in the night sky, when Harry suddenly placed a warm hand on your thigh. It was a bit.. too warm, almost inhumanely. You silently squirmed inside as you began feeling the flush of your cheeks becoming more and more apparent. Harry quietly chuckled to himself after seeing your expression.

Finally, you arrived at the restaurant, when Harry places his giant hands over your eyes, to create suspense. “We’re here!” he sang. He removed his hands and your eyes lit up to try and figure out which amazing restaurant he brought you to. Your heart stopped for a moment. ‘Ch-chuck-e ch-cheese...?” you stuttered, your mouth slightly gaping open. “You brought me to.... Chuck E Cheese??” Harry laughed and looked towards you saying, “It’s amazing I know right! I heard they have great food here” With that said, you looked away as if you were on The Office, expecting there to be some sort of camera in the bushes or for Harry to yell ‘I pranked you!’ out loud. Sadly, he did not. There were no cameras, and it was no prank. Harry Styles of One Direction® really did take you to Chuck E Cheese huh. Harry Styles who has a net worth of $75 million. Cool.

Reluctantly, you enter the food joint, immediately, but not surprisingly, stepping in a blob of what seems to be nacho cheese. This date just keeps getting better and better. As for the seating, you expected some sort of VIP seats, secluded from the noisy families and children. Nope! You got a small two seat table next to a large family with like 20 kids. This date was really starting to take a toll on you now. “Can we just order now please?” you say, while silently eyeing the table next to you. Harry laughs again at your comment and agrees. “Waiter? I’d like to order please,” he calls out, them turns to you. “What do you wanna eat?” It takes you a short while to think but you eventually choose a cheeseburger and some fries. “As for me, I would like two double cheeseburgers, double fries with cheese on it, a pepperoni pizza and some nachos. Oh, and extra cheese please.” You and the waiter both share gobsmacked looks as you stare at him with disbelief. “What? I’m hungry!” he says with a small cackle, as if he didn’t just order the whole ass menu.

The food came pretty quickly, but you and Harry made light conversation while waiting, mainly just you asking him about his career. When the food was ready, the two of you were relocated to a larger table, to fit all the food Mr. Styles had ordered. Though it was an up raged from sitting next to that enormous family. Harry dug into his food almost immediately after it being placed down. He was eating like an animal. You slowly bit your burger, so that it would last longer, considering how long you would be here for. But Harry’s food just kept on finishing, quickly each item on the table would vanish and he gulped it all down. You watched him eat, it was sort of peculiar, but mostly cute. He must be hungry from all the work he does, you thought. Suddenly, Harry shot up from the table and whisper-shouted “I need to go to the bathroom” while holding the back of his neck. A few moments passed and he came back looking rather refreshed? “Yo Harry, looks like you got a trim while you were in the bathroom haha” you said, as a joke. “What? No I didn’t. I just went to the bathroom, that’s it.” he quickly sputtered out in a accused tone. “Woah, calm down I was just kidding Harry” you reassured him. “Oh haha yeah...” he said, trailing off.

You two silently finished your dinner, as the atmosphere was too thick around the two of you after that conversation. A thousand thoughts shot around your mind but you didn’t know which one was correct, or if any of them were. Soon enough, you leave the place. As you’re walking out, you slow down a bit as your feet hurt from wearing your One Direction® high heels all night, when you notice something at the back of Harry’s head. You sneak a little closer to get a good look at it. It was a razor. Why on earth would Harry have a razor stuck on the back of his head?

In silence, the two of you walked to the car and sat inside. “Alrighty then, ready to go?” Harry broke the awkward silence. You shot a glare at him and towards the back of his head, where the One Direction® razor remained clinging onto Harry’s hair. Confusion coursed through your blood as you tried to think of a plausible answer. “Yeah, lets go” you finally replied, flashing a small smile to him. The drive home was painfully long and extremely quiet. You didn’t know what to do. Do you mention the razor to him, or do you keep it a secret? Perhaps he did something that he didn’t want you to know about, maybe it’s best to leave it that way. Or not. As soon as Harry parked the car, you turned to face him with a stern look. “Harry” you said, as you took a deep breath in. “What were you doing when you went to the bathroom back at Chuck E Cheese?” Harry blinked profusely at the question, perhaps unsure on how to answer it. “Haha, that’s a weird question, don’t you think?” He laughed it off. You had to admit, it was a weird way to ask a question, but in the heat of the moment, you couldn’t think of anything better. “Harry...” you trailed off, expecting him to answer. “What? Haha, I went to the bathroom! Just doing what anyone else does in the bathroom! I can tell you in detail if you want” he said with a playful wink, trying to diffuse the situation, but you didn’t laugh. “Okay, sorry” you quickly apologised and cut the conversation short. Besides, he didn’t need you to tell him that you’d seen his razor, he would see it himself when he gets home soon. Without further ado, you promptly left the car with a swift goodbye escaping your lips.

Harry was acting weird. And what was weirder was that you could notice this from the start. He seemed nothing like this on media. But then again, nobody does. You wondered to yourself on all the different possibilities it could be. None stuck. Your thoughts were too crazy, too unlikely, perhaps even impossible. Unless they weren’t. Why did he take me to Chuck E Cheese of all places you thought. Once again, you slipped on your One Direction® pyjamas and your One Direction® eye mask and went to sleep, trying not to think in any more detail.

You were forced awake in the middle of the night by a text. From Harry. It was a very cryptic message, and very short. ‘Meet me at the park at 4:03’. Which park? There were no specifics. The text carried an ominous feel to it. The sort that would make you feel nauseous. You jumped to your feet and changed into your One Direction® hoodie and jeans, and left the building. You assumed he meant the park closest to your area. You drove down there as quickly as possible and began searching for the boy. Admittedly, it wasn’t even 3:30 yet, you were really early. But you thought that the time didn’t matter. As you turned the corner inside the park, you noticed a sort of commotion happening nearby. You heard screams. You looked into the distance and saw two shadows of people doing what looked like fighting. You thought to steer clear of there as you didn’t want to get involved, until you heard a ‘help’ being shouted. Although you said you didn’t want to be involved, you did want to see what was happening. So you etched closer, only to get a better look, and then you would run away. Closer and closer, the image began getting more clear. You squinted your eyes to look at the assailant. He was oddly hairy, you thought. One more step closer. Your eyes widened in shock. It was Harry. With one swipe of his hand, the man dropped dead. Harry swooped down towards the body and began ripping it apart. You accidentally step on a stick, making a crack sound. Harry turns around, meat in his mouth, trying to locate where the sound came from. Immediately, you start running. Running for your dear life. You snap your head back to see if he was on your trail, and he was. He was approaching you faster and faster. You take a sharp turn, trying to find your car, when you trip over roots from the nearby trees. You try to scuttle to your feet, but the shock and fear running through your blood was taking the best of you. Harry caught up and was stood directly in front of you now. He looked down at you with a smirk and wiped the blood off his mouth. “You just couldn’t keep to yourself, could you?” he said, laughing a little in between. “You just had to come early, you just had to question the razor. Fine. I’ll tell you. I’m a werewolf.” You quivered at the sound of his voice, you shot a look back in the direction of the dead body. “Oh that? That was just my dinner. I got a bit hungry, you know?” You tried picking your body up on your feet, but collapsed once again. No sound came out of your mouth as you were too frightened. All you could do was listen to Harry’s monologue. “As for you, my pretty little y/n, you can be my dessert” He flashed you his fangs and speared his claws through your heart.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles reader insert #one direction #one direction fan fiction #one direction imagines #one direction reader insert

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