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#am i making any sense at all. be honest
aquickstart · 4 months
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one thing that's been talked about here and by creators and is obvious but still important to articulate (to me) is that oliver is not envious of the cattons because they are wealthier than him, necessarily. it's not about the money. or it is, but in a way that everything in life is about money: no matter how much you have, you kind of always want more, because want is a very strong driver. he's not coming from a place of poverty or any financial need at all, and he is not genuinely burning with the anger at the rich as a working-class guy constantly overpowered by them. there is no righteousness of the oppressed in his motives; sure, he "knows how to work", but to me—and this is, again, personal interpretation—the more important part is that the cattons "made it so easy" for him to take everything from them. it doesn't matter where oliver is coming from, ultimately (which is why he is so pointedly an upper middle class kid, quite comfortable, not a struggling genius he paints himself to be). for oliver, and for his audience, what matters is what he wants, not why he wants it; how badly he wants, how deep inside his own desire he is.
in short, it's not that the cattons had something he didn't have. it's just that they had something he wanted.
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angelmush · 6 months
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cried on the bus and then on a bench the mall before going into work bc life is so beautiful and so painful why is it LIKE THAT!!!!!
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soldier-poet-king · 8 months
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I need to be weirder. I need to hang out/talk with more intensely weird and deeply genuine people, and more frequently
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paellegere · 2 months
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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️
omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately
i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother
that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have
(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)
anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that
#ask#sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this#but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies#to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are#and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching#mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other#that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually#the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon#or something#like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there#same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like#think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like#no shit sherlock#but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship#in the first place#which is BIZARRE to me#like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends#that they don't even like each other#wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived#idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest#they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits#the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it#it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once#shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN#i hope i'm making sense here#supernatural#wincest#spn posting
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unfunnystandup · 11 months
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do we think good omens is gonna queerbait? i’m curious about the general consensus.
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meatmensch · 2 months
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The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.
#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together#as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!#this woman's life is a dumpster fire#and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement'#which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any#fucking right...😭😭😭#meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving#out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes#this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly#how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making#the wrong fucking decisions and judging me.#these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been#on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest#i feel pretty great#it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going#to end up here.#while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and#she was like ok who cares abt this dude now#which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most#supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is#in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th#one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing.#while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings#who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm#she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver#adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and#making sure i'll be ok.#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'#make me feel like the world's worst man#personal log
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fragmentedblade · 7 months
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Criticism about Yingxing using the power of Abundance being ooc, as if he hadn't done it before. As if it weren't common practice in the Alliance, despite themselves
#Using the body of an Abundance being for creation was just any other Tuesday for Yingxing‚ Furnace Master#Half joking but yeah#I talk too much#Traces#Fragments and scraps#The Creation Furnace is powered by an heliobi which is an Abundance creature#A very powerful one in particular is said to be in the engine of the Zhuming and grants it its power iirc#The process of making the starskiffs the Alliance so relies on is a remnant of the blessing of Abundance#There's a readable that is all about how much the medical sciences in the Xianzhou Alliance advanced when they were able to shallow#their 'arrogance and spite' and accepted to study the work on the topic written by Abundance followers#Luocha in this very sidequest states that using the power of Abundance doesn't necessarily imply being a follower#Xueyi was cured by him with the power of Abundance and she didn't bat an eye. So did Back'n and Forth#Jing Yuan was ready to listen to his suggestion#And besides Yingxing was desperate#I don't even know where the ooc thing comes from because even without these things ^^^ supporting it isn't#There would still be no evidence for anyone to claim it was an ooc act#After all‚ we had never seen him be in similar situations repeatedly acting in total opposite ways#Dan Feng also makes all the sense in the world in my opinion#But I am very into the... hypocrisy? of the Alliance and its constant link and use of Abundance while condemning other users#So this criticism is particularly baffling to me and sad to be honest#because I consider it one of the most rich and intriguing concepts in the worldbuilding#I've been pestering Snow about it for months#I couldn't stop thinking about it (good) before and I can't stop thinking about it (bad) now haha#Yingxing#Blade
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piastriblogging · 2 years
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yukierre get married in vegas
they do it as a joke but also they’re super drunk and just like the karaoke everyone encourages them bcs it’s good content like ilies vlogs the whole thing but the footage is subpar and they all believe that thing that’s like it’s not actually a real wedding
except it is and they find out after abu dhabi and laugh about and then a few hrs later yuki has pierre cornered somewhere and says something nonchalantly about annulment and pierre avoids him for the whole winter break
it’s easier, if he avoids him, to pretend yuki really wanted to marry him. or that he doesn’t exist, whichever is less painful at any given moment in time.
AND IT SUCKS ESPECIALLY bcs hed convinced yuki to move TO milan, FINALLY. and alpine keeps trying to get him to move closer to their HQ and he keeps saying no and they keep saying at least france and he keeps saying no…. but…
anyways it’s stupid of him to think he can avoid this and his friends tell him so but he can’t help it he just keeps thinking if he doesn’t see yuki then yuki can’t tell him he doesn’t actually want him in any ways that’s emotionally real and he just. he can’t. not now.
and he can’t avoid yuki forever because they’re best friends and legally married in the united states and live in the same city that’s only so big so running into each other is inevitable
i’m imagining a scenario where they run into each other and yuki talks pierre into going to some sort of cafe or something. idk. 😐 i’ve never been to italy. but they talk and get coffee and it’s very awkward until yuki is just like you cannot avoid me, you tell me to move to milan and then you don’t even hang out with me i thought we were joking about the whole not inviting me to your house thing. and pierre can’t rlly say anything except sorry bcs he doesn’t want to lie… but it’s fine bcs it’s yuki and he’s got no clue why pierre is being so weird and he’s been busy so he’s jsut like. DONT do it again 😠😤
and the rest of brunch is good and fun and then when they’re about to part, yuki is like oh also we should take care of the annulment before the season starts, nyck knows someone who knows a lawyer who can take care of it all for us and pierre feeling like shit just nods
at the end of the day pierre will do whatever it takes to get yuki’s eyes on him, hands on him, attention on him. he always wants more but he’s also a good catholic boy and will take what he’s given. he goes to confession and tells the father he’s been greedy and selfish and he says fifteen hail marys and leaves €300 in the donation bucket and tells himself he will not make this a problem anymore
if they would just idk have sex about it they would be fine but they WONT bcs yuki likes to play hard to get and pierre is so catholic it’s killing him.
actually i’m starting to think this is maybe 100 degrees off from actual pierre characterization bcs tbh he does often go for what he wants. but i feel like it might be different w yuki where he’s been messing around about it for so long that to make it serious is to risk their entire friendship. like chasing instagram models is easy bcs there’s always another instagram model. but yuki is the only yuki he has.
anyways after the annulment pierre goes back to flirting w yuki 24/7 ala 2022 and it’s whiplash from ignoring him practically all winter but like. he’s got nothing to lose there’s nothing between them they fucked and they got married and now they’re not married and not fucking
i’ve thought about it too hard and lost the original plot of the movie but anyways ensue an insane year of pierre desiring yuki carnally and yuki being still mostly passive but probably actually more responsive than before bcs like. babes they got married so…
blah blah blah idk idk idk they have insane sex blah blah blah talk about feelings yada yada tada happy ending ????
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sinful-sheepie · 2 years
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its so funny to me how many people just. dont like belphegor at all like YEAH ok he killed us and hated humans but like. idk i dont entirely blame him considering everything that happened with lilith, even if i dont agree with it.
but like after all that he literally just becomes another guy. a really sleepy one which like. BIG mood ngl. and then him and beel are just so wonderful together i love when they have scenes together its just so good aishufsdhfihdg theyre like the only brothers that get along more often than not i think its sweet
he was traumatized and lashed out unfairly, which isnt okay at all but as someone whose been in very traumatic situations... things are very black and white and obvious to you only because youre in defensive mode? bad way to explain it but its not easy to control when youve never had the tools to do so, only after therapy have i been able to be like... normal with my emotions?
NO HATE NOR JUDGEMENT to anyone who doesnt rock with him obvs! people have different tastes i just think its kinda funny how much vitriol some people have toward him and him only, and none of the other guys
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starbuck · 2 years
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so yeah, upon further consideration, my Type of favorite character is 100% “person with a horribly misplaced sense of duty that ruins their life and ultimately kills them”
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something i’ve been thinking about is how people feel like they have to be overly nice to people on here to make anyone like them, to the point of refusing to speak about things that aren’t sunshine and rainbows and i just want to say that you shouldn’t have to basically kiss people’s asses and act like a “mom friend” to make people like you. you should be able to voice your opinions on things without worrying about whether people are gonna like it or not (i don’t mean like causing drama or posting pointless callout shit), because if people don’t like that you’re pointing out stuff that needs attention brought to it, they aren’t worth following in the first place. basically, just don’t be afraid to speak your mind. at the end of the day, the people on this hellsite are just people on the internet you don’t know and you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around strangers lol.
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pepprs · 1 year
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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seithr · 7 months
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rl chatterin in tags, dont worry about it just feel like talking about recent stuff. for those who dont care look at this birdthang i won on xiv then. my silly big bird..
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firefly-fez · 1 year
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hank and john i love u, ur doing amazing sweetie but do u have any idea how hard it is to sound professional and respectable when im emailing charities about the p4a. i am trying so hard to make this sound like a lucrative promitional opportunity and then i have to say ‘worldsuck’ with a straight face. like its a great term and it captures the impossible persistent reality of suffering and injustice like no other but. buddy. it dont exactly have a professional flair. i am trying to establish myself as a humanitarian advocate and honestly nerdfighteria is, like, a genuinely good foundation for that kind of advocacy and volunteerism but it’s a little like i am trying to build on an admittedly very sturdy steel frame that also happens to have a million little smiley face stickers all over it. like. this isn’t technically impeding me but i am concerned im going to raise some eyebrows.
#look maybe theres a lesson in this for me to be honest#after all those years of trying to be the prefect student the perfect girl to set myself up for good things in life#the thing that actually helped me get a leg up in the direction i truly wanted to go#was not in fact the hoity toity private school culture obsessed with reputation and prestige#but a couple of heartfelt and earnest nerds with known to cover their faves in sharpie#it makes sense doesnt it?#i was a sponsor to a girl in poverty and we were penpals and great friends#and i promised myself a long time ago whatever i make of my education would be to benefit kids like her#i want to make good on that promise but i have no idea how#so for a while there i bought into the idea that i should be impressive and successful and have resources and opportunities and good grades#and be their perfect student and all but eventually#eventually i fell from grace by becoming a little more like my friend than my prestige obsessed culture is comfortable with#and i realised i had turned myself into a perfect piece of propaganda for them to wave around as an example of why you should give em money#but at my least successful i was more has more understanding more nuance and more insight into the trials of my friend and ppl like her#i should have realised it would have me branded as a class traitor that i would never learn it from the School of Prestige#i wanted to be a student and you wanted me to be impressive#you cant exploit my intellect for your propaganda anymore i will not use it for you#i will not paint over curiosity or compassion or enthusiasm any more#i am free of you / i will take all the riches you gave me / and betray you by making no profit#but give freely and generously to those you kept out of your golden gates#you thought they werent good enough for you but there is wealth that you will never know in their hearts that you cannot see#because you only think of wealth as someting you can possess#there are riches in this world beyond your pocket; false prophet#i know now that i have sold too much of myself to you#i know now that if i continue in my plight to be good enough i am drawing a line between myself and the disadvantaged#dishonour them to exhalt myself and feed them the lie that human worth is earnt won and proven by feats purposefully impossible for most#my people love to brag about being the ‘land of opportunity’ but leave out the years they spent stealing; cheating; killing; plundering#that made ‘opportunity’ impossible everywhere else#now they have the gall to applaud themselves for success and lie about winning fair and square#gaslighting to forget all the world’s history and they almost had me fooled
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istherewifiinhell · 1 year
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Walks in covered in blood. Its as good as im gonna get it. okay
[ID from alt: Diagram trying to show the chronology of the Ultimate Draco arc of TMNT 03 with multiple time lines].
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Full ID/Transcription under the cut.
The time lines are: Earth 3 (Usagi's earth, No turtles) in blue, Prime Earth in black, Divergent Prime Timeline in purple, Prime ~120 yrs Future in red, and Alt Earth (Present era, diff. turt[different turtles]).
Earth 3 contains only a "Leo Arrives" event and an arrow labeled "Adventure" towards the next event "Leo & Usagi Depart".
Prime Earth starts with a line break indicating the zoomed scale, and most of is labeled with an over arching "Ultimate Draco Arc". The first Event is an X with arrows indicating Leo and Donnie's departure (the others left off for readiblity). The next is "Leo & Usagi Arrive", followed by "Attempt to retrieve bros", and "Successful Retrival of Brothers". These event are aligned with ones on the remaining 3 timelines, "Half phrase out of time" and "Returns" respectively. Another line break indicates scale shift, and the years 2105 to 2125 are indicated in red.
The Divergent Timeline branches off from the moment the turtles leave "Prime Earth". It's first event is "Donnie Disappears", followed by a line break labeled "40 years", and the next event "15 y/o prime Donnie Arrives". In between the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Defeats (future) Shedder". An arrow indicates Donnie's return to Prime Earth (it is also erroneously drawn to the wrong point).
Prime ~120 yrs Future starts with 2105 "Child Falcon meets Turtles (Later Event)". A line break then 2125, and an event "Raph interrupts Falcon's Race". Inbetween the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Wins Race".
Alt Earth has only a "Mikey Arrives" event, and between the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Defeats 'Sliver'".
END ID]
i. have 4 versions of this time line. around me. okay. jesus fucking christ. i mean. i had fun. so thats what matterss????
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medicinemane · 1 month
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I don't know, here's my problem with all that gratitude stuff people are always pushing
I'm here finding myself grateful for the really bad unexplained stomach problems I had for months that randomly flared up so bad I couldn't leave the house safely somedays (literally missed my last doctor's appointment cause it turned out that wasn't a day to be out and about)
Like unprompted, not as some kind of exercise or something, I find myself being like "yeah it may have royally sucked, but it really has helped me get a feel for how my stomach is doing so maybe I appreciate it"
Feel like that's fairly gratitude minded when you can find yourself being grateful for basically months of being sick, you know?
...so fuck off an let me be. If me organically being grateful for a painful time in my life where a lot of nights I'd be worried about going to sleep and dealing with issues so bad I was worried about how I was gonna be able to take this trip unless I got lucky... if I just on my own end up being grateful for that and still want to put a bullet in my head, maybe gratitude isn't a cure all
Maybe piss off with it, you know? I'm the first to say it's good to be grateful for shit, and frankly even walls (even when there's insulation issues) are a fucking blessing and I'll always thank my house for everything it does for me
Still not a magic bullet against depression and I get fucking sick of everyone talking like it is one... like if I just gratituded harder I'd feel better
#as always; this is why I have my no advice without being willing to help implement it policy#I don't get to tell people what to do to feel better#I just get to offer support and get stuck in with helping try to change things for the better for them in my small ineffective ways#and you know they may never feel better; and that would fucking suck cause they deserve to#but I'm not gonna make them feel bad for being open and honest about how they're doing#and I'll just keep telling them the things I like about them till maybe one day they can internalize it#and... and I'll keep trying to do the small things I can to help support them in making changes#or if at all possible directly participate in making a change for them#rather have someone be miserable and honest about it than ever try to spare my feelings#no I never want them to be doing bad but I'd rather try to just sit with them through it than make them sit alone#and I'd rather fix it all... but sometimes neither of us fucking can right now... and it's time to wait with them#had someone dealing with a real shit situation#and you know what? I knew the exact fix for the shit situation#but here's the problem... people can't do shit till they're ready and me trying to force it would have made it worse#so I just hung out and let them vent and repeatedly made sure they knew they were making sense; validated their perception of reality#made an introduction so they had more people around who'd be in their corner building them up instead of tearing them down#eventually they made the fix I knew was the fix all along and it hurt like hell to do it#and yet things started getting better pretty much immediately; cause it was always the problem#and if I could go back and do it again I'd do it the same; I wouldn't force the fix any sooner cause it had to be their choice#and frankly me pushing could have sabotaged shit#and it's still hard; and often all I can do is sit with them as they ride shit out right now and... I don't like that#I want to fix things in every way for them; they deserve that#but I can't... so I'd rather be with them as things are than make them repair everything so I feel comfortable#that's my opinion on all this#and frankly if you want to dig up my nasty bitter fucking side I try to keep tamped down#this shit is a good way to bring that side of me out#like fuck off; either you're gonna help or you're being a fucking busy body#and you can shove your advice up your ass cause spoiler I fucking tried it#I never stop putting one foot in front of the other and it's got me a house and I cleaned that fucking trailer#so how about you stuff it if you don't like how miserable I am
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