#although probably just the one for now because i'm Tired man i've been in a very rand 'what if i'm tired?' mood all week djkgh

[markantonys]

i'm making a gifset and noticed another It's The Same Picture instance. josha stradowski smiling tearfully into his (boy)friend's shoulder is something that can be so personal

#i might make a couple gewoon vrienden gifsets bc it was a cute movie! and also a visual feast for josha enjoyers i must say #although probably just the one for now because i'm Tired man i've been in a very rand 'what if i'm tired?' mood all week djkgh #anyway this is what i'm here for. josha crying and being hugged tenderly. that's what it's all about #also please note that screenshot 1 is about 3 seconds after they'd been kissing. makes u think re: screenshot 2 #josha stradowski #gewoon vrienden #wot #cauthor

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy

Part 1/?

Modern au rock star!Eddie & sugar baby!Steve; alpha!Eddie/omega!Steve

Fall was in full swing and a chill was officially in the air at all times. Most especially as the sun started to go down. Eddie was warm in his leather jacket but for a brief moment his heart went out to the guy standing outside the bar, arms bare to the wind. He was dressed in a striped polo shirt and jeans, not quite what one might see in a dive bar like this.

But he was probably waiting for someone, so Eddie went inside without another thought, catching just the smallest whiff of his scent as he walked by. An omega. He was definitely waiting for someone then. No one kept their omega idling for long. Once inside, Eddie took his shades off, the lights low enough to keep most from recognizing him.

It helped that he was flying solo tonight. No band members or bodyguards in sight. It was nice to be anonymous sometimes. Not that fame and fortune ever got tiring, it was just a good change of pace. He posted up to the bar, ordered a beer, and got comfortable. He was right in the middle of a conversation with another patron about the current season's fishing prospects when that scent washed over him again something like lavender and petrichor.

Although, when Eddie looked over, that second part might've just been the scent of actual rain. The omega from outside was sitting next to him. The tops of his shoulders and head were damp.

"Was wonderin' when you'd come in and grace us with your presence", the bartender said.

The omega simply rolled his eyes and didn't order anything. Eddie saw him shiver and without thinking, took off his jacket and placed it over his shoulders. He realized what he'd done when the other man froze.

"Sorry you just looked cold and maybe you were but I shouldn't've just done something like that I can-I can take it back", he reached out.

"No", the omega held onto the jacket. "No, it's fine. I was cold. Thank you."

"I uh, saw you outside. Boyfriend making you wait?" Eddie inwardly cringed. He meant to be more subtle than that. Meant to say something anything else.

"Don't have one." The omega got a strange look as he finally looked Eddie square in the face. "Have I...seen you somewhere before? Sorry", he shook his head and let out a breath of laughter. "What I line. I swear I'm not-I'm not trying to come on to you or anything, I just know I've seen you on like tv or something."

Eddie couldn't judge on pick up lines after what he said about a boyfriend. "You...you might've." He looked around and contemplated for just a second before he continued. "Ever heard of Corroded Coffin?"

"They're a band, right? That's where I know you from?"

Eddie grinned. "Yeah, that's where." He could tell this guy just barely recognized him and that it wasn't an act.

"God, Dustin would kill me. I can hear him now. Sorry, I'm probably not the kind of fan you like running in to."

"I'll take polite conversation over groveling any day. So do you know any of the member's names?"

"I know there's the guy Dustin likes the most because he can play drums and the bass. He admires talented people like that. And he goes on and on about this Eddie guy, but I can never remember which one-you?"

"Me, handsome", Eddie grinned. "And your name?"

"Steve. But I also answer to 'handsome'."

Steve. Eddie had to taste it on his tongue. "Steve. And were you waiting for Dustin before the rain brought you in?"

Steve smiled now, adjusting Eddie's jacket across his shoulders. "No, I wasn't really waiting for anyone. And before you ask, Dustin is definitely not my boyfriend. I'm completely untethered." Steve ran a hand through his hair, not so damp anymore after they had been talking.

"You gonna order something or keep taking up space at my bar?", the bartender asked.

"What's your poison, Steve?"

"Oh, I can't pay you back", Steve said.

"Then don't. Order something."

"I mean I really can't pay you back, Eddie. I was hanging around outside because I...because I'm between paychecks right now. And I'm not that kind of omega." Steve's shoulders hunched up in shame and he looked like he was about to remove Eddie's jacket.

"I didn't say you were. You don't have to pay me like that. I take many forms of compensation. Including sparkling dialogue with gorgeous men."

"Really?", Steve asked, voice flat in disbelief.

"Really."

Steve turned to the bartender. "Whiskey sour please."

Eddie smiled. "So, what's your opinion on farmed fish versus wild caught?"

---------------------------

Steve had been going through the worst day of his life. Work had been awful and he had wanted to scream. He ran out so quick that he forgot his jacket and was already halfway home when he remembered. He kept going. He wasn't going back there today. He got to his apartment, ready to fill his empty stomach with something only to find he was devoid of food.

Of course. He'd cleaned himself out with his last heat and hadn't gone grocery shopping since. He'd been eating out for the past week. And if he checked his bank account....

$10.43

And pay day wasn't for another three days. Steve was desperate. It was plenty of money if he went to the convenience store right outside his apartment. But the cashier there always gave him odd looks and he just didn't have the energy for it. He contemplated sending someone in to buy his stuff, but he wasn't feeling very trusting right now.

Which was how he ended up at the bar. The dollar store would've been an option last week, but it was a couple of miles away and his car was in the shop. He didn't even know what his plan was. Buy the cheapest drink and fill up on pretzels and nuts? It was why he was standing outside as the sun got lower, just feeling sorry for himself.

He just wished someone would take pity on him. Would see how hard he had been working and told him it was okay, he could take a break now and they'd take care of him.

Hell would probably freeze over first though.

Then the rain started and he couldn't waste time out here any longer. At least inside the bar, it was warm. Steve already wasn't looking forward to the walk home. What if it was still raining? He couldn't afford to get sick right now. He sat at the only empty seat at the bar and thought of the least pathetic way to ask for a cheap drink when something warm came over him.

It smelled of ginger and cinnamon and for a moment, Steve was drowning in it when he heard the owner of the jacket try to apologize for it and then take it back. Instinctively, Steve held onto it tighter.

"No, no, it's fine. I was cold. Thank you."

The alpha next to him said something about a boyfriend that Steve barely registered but figured out by context what he was asking.

"Don't have one." He shook his head and then actually looked the alpha up and down. Curly hair spilled over his shoulders and he looked smaller without the leather jacket that was currently over his own shoulders. There was something oddly familiar about him. Like he'd seen that face on his social media feed or something.

When Steve asked, he realized he was talking to a guy in Dustin's favorite band. He felt like an idiot. This guy was probably used to starstruck fans bowing at his feet and here Steve was, just treating him like a nobody. But try as he might, Steve couldn't pretend like he was some big deal, even imagining Dustin's lecture on proper celebrity sighting etiquette later didn't change things.

Then the alpha, Eddie his name was Eddie, introduced himself and then asked for his name, tacking on a compliment at the end of the question.

"Steve. But I also answer to 'handsome'." He couldn't help being a little hungry for some positive attention right now.

Then Eddie asked a very unsubtle question about Dustin, insinuating that he was some kind of boyfriend and Steve wanted to laugh. The little kid he had babysat that had been like the pain in the ass brother he never asked for definitely wasn't that. And he let Eddie know that.

"Dustin is definitely not my boyfriend. I'm completely untethered." He didn't know why he said it like that. He might as well have spread his legs and held up a sign that said 'open for business'. This guy was a literal rock star, he must have lustful groupies throwing themselves at him all the time. Wording it like that absolutely wasn't Steve intention. Even if his scent was so comforting and intoxicating.

Then the bartender urged them to order something and Steve felt his empty stomach drop. Eddie insisted on buying him a drink and Steve really wished he had the money for it because there was no way he was paying in any other way. And if Eddie was expecting that, he'd just as soon go back out into the rain, leaving the warm jacket behind.

"You don't have to pay me like that. I take many forms of compensation. Including sparkling dialogue with gorgeous men."

Steve searched his face for a bluff, any sign of dishonesty. But he saw none.

"Really?"

"Really."

So Steve ordered just as Eddie asked him something about fishing and clearly this night was not going to go the way he planned.

--------------------------

Eddie was halfway through his second drink and knee deep in a conversation about the pros and cons of fishing compared to hunting. Apparently Steve's dad took him out hunting before he presented and afterward, his grandfather took him out on a couple of fishing trips.

"One just seems more fair, is all I'm saying", Steve said, still nursing his first drink. "One has you sneaking up on an unsuspecting animal. The other one you're just luring them. Fish know what they're getting into. Deer don't until they're already in your sights."

"You think very highly of fish intelligence", Eddie noted.

"I once had a year long beef with a friend's pet fish. Long story. But fish are smarter than they look." Then Steve's stomach growled. Very loudly. Embarrassingly loud.

"I don't know about you, but all this fish talk is making me hungry", Eddie said. "Can I buy you dinner?"

"I suppose I've got about twenty bucks worth of more conversation in me", Steve smiled, appreciating what Eddie was offering.

Eddie paid the tab and Steve put his arms into the jacket, then remembered Eddie might want it since it was cold outside. "Did you want-"

"Keep it on. I run hot anyway and we just need to make it to my car." That was a lie, Eddie had the circulation of a failing newspaper but he liked the look of Steve in his jacket too much to give it up. And the rain had stopped so now it was just damp and cold outside.

Steve thought he should feel wary of getting into a car with a stranger, especially a famous one. But he had his phone on him and Eddie was taking him to a place with a lot of people, so it was fine. Eddie put his sunglasses on as they went inside and asked for a table in the back, which the person up front gladly accommodated.

"Not to toot my own horn", Eddie said as they were seated. "But I can never tell when and where I'll get recognized. And I don't want any tabloids tomorrow morning." Because right now, Steve didn't just look like some random guy that Eddie was wining and dining. Right now, he looked like he belonged to Eddie.

"Got any funny stories?", Steve asked.

Eddie grinned and rolled his shoulders as he got comfortable in his seat. "Well, there was the one time I was literally in a tv studio about to be interviewed with the band and someone thought I was the boom guy."

"If I was dressing up on Halloween as a boom guy, I think I'd put on this general look", Steve said, gesturing to Eddie's whole body.

"And there was the time I got recognized while at a fabric store. I'm standing in line, basket full of sewing supplies and a bunch of floral fabrics, and this woman in her sixties asks for my autograph."

"Aren't you in a metal band?"

"Yeah and some of our most hardcore fans are women over 40", Eddie said. "Don't underestimate 'em."

A waiter came by and took their orders and they kept talking. Steve couldn't believe how badly his day had started because now it felt like he was flying above the clouds. Eddie actually seemed interested in what he had to say. And Steve was constantly thrown by the different directions Eddie took the conversation. From fishing, to getting recognized stories, to horrible customers, to the perils of sailing a boat.

"Never?"

"I remember going once as a kid and was scared shitless the whole time", Steve said. "Whoever decided it was okay for me to watch Titanic in kindergarten really messed me up."

"So besides that one time you've never been on a boat?", Eddie asked.

"My parents tried getting me on a yacht once and I started hyperventilating on the dock. I stayed on the boardwalk", Steve said. Just one of the many ways he'd been a disappointment.

After the meal, Eddie offered to drive Steve home. He wanted to. But after drinks and food and talking to Eddie for so long about nothing at all, Steve felt cautious. Had his guard lowered? If he let Eddie see him to his door, would Eddie be expecting something? What made him even more hesitant was that he might let Eddie get away with it.

He was handsome and charming and had alleviated Steve's worries for a few hours. He was even going home with some leftovers in a box. For a second, Steve wondered if food was all it took.

"Hey, look, I understand if you don't want some strange alpha taking you home. What about if I just order you a ride?", Eddie suggested.

"You can take me home", Steve said quickly. "Just don't expect any dessert."

Before leaving, Eddie excused himself to use the restroom and Steve used that opportunity to do something that was probably really stupid. It was certainly pointless. But he could take a risk every now and then. He tore off a piece of the menu and used a pen at the podium up front and that was how Eddie found him.

"Ready to go?"

"Ready", Steve smiled.

The car ride was a little more quiet, both of them digesting both the food and what had happened tonight. Meeting a stranger that you clicked with, it didn't happen every day. Steve gave him his address and Eddie pulled up to the building.

"You should walk me up", Steve said. "Make sure I get there safe."

"Y-yeah, I can do that", Eddie stuttered, struggling with his seatbelt while Steve was already out of the car.

Eddie followed him to his apartment, glad now for the chill outside because otherwise he'd be sweating watching Steve's ass for so long as he walked in front of him.

"Well, this is me", Steve said.

"I had a great time tonight", Eddie said.

Steve laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Can we come up with anymore first date lines?"

"Hmm, how's about I'd love to do this again soon?", Eddie smiled, leaning in a bit.

"I'd like that." Steve took Eddie's jacket off his shoulders.

"What if I want you to wear it for our next date?", Eddie asked.

"If you want me to wear this, you better scent it properly", Steve goaded.

Eddie pinned him against the door and smashed their mouths together. His jacket was trapped between their bodies. Steve let out a soft sound and brought a hand to Eddie's cheek.

"We can't go on a second date until the first one is over", Steve said when he pulled back. He curled a lock of Eddie's hair around his finger just because he couldn't help it.

"Your number?", Eddie asked, licking at Steve's lips.

"Check your jacket", Steve breathed.

Eddie didn't take his eyes off Steve as he went through his jacket pocket and found what Steve had been scribbling on earlier. It was a ripped piece of the menu. And it had Steve's number on it.

Part 2

If I had a nickel for every time I steddified a Marilyn Monroe song I'd have two nickels.

#apo writes #stranger things #fanfiction #steddie #a/b/o #omegaverse #okay maybe dont expect all the parts to be this long tho LOL

[asterrrific]

lee chan x reader

Idk what to title this

Dino x reader (ft. 95z)

Warnings: none, just loads of fluff

unedited so i apologize for any grammatical errors or whatever. i made this bc a sudden idea came to me🥹

---

It was around 1am when y/n felt herself sway in her seat.

Books, answersheets, pens, sticky notes, her laptop, and a variety of snacks to keep her awake but failed were scattered at desk. It was the last week of the first semester and she's trying to rush all of her academic backlogs.

Such is the life of a senior student leader with other commitments. Always the last to catch up with academic requirements and classes because of her duties.

She shook herself awake, forcing her hand to continue writing. Her eyes were drooping, but she persevered.

"Get it together, y/n. One last chapter THEN you can go to bed." she willed herself.

But she's been staying up for weeks now. Dark circles are more than evident under her eyes. She's lost weight as well, and she's been easily stressed nowadays.

So it was hard to battle sleep.

"Bub?" came a familiar voice. Normally, she'd get excited and awake whenever she hears the endearment, but tonight, she's a dead man.

Chan cups her cheeks gently, stilling her from swaying in her seat as she battled sleep. His eyes strayed to her paper, words not evident, but random squiggles she perhaps thought were answers.

"Baby, you're not even writing answers anymore." He chuckles lightly as he takes away the pen from her hand. Y/n tries to grab it back... weakly.

"No, I can make it... I'm almost thereeee." she whines, eyes half closed, trying to reach for her pen. Chan keeps one hand on her cheek while the other puts the pen away.

"Y/N Baby, it's been three weeks. You've been busy since the start of the month. Your body is probably hating you right now. Let me take care of you please?" Chan gently prods, almost whispering.

Y/n and Chan's friends have all been concerned about her state. She's NEVER had decent sleep since the start of the month, BARELY eats her meals and snacks on time, and RARELY goes out with them.

It worried them so much that even Chan excuses himself from practices earlier than the rest now so he could monitor y/n.

"But I need all these. I wanted all these." she counters.

"I know, bub, and I appreciate that and I'm so so proud of you... but what's the whole point of achieving all these if you're gonna lose yourself in the process, hmm?"

At this, y/n's eyes flutter open, now aware of where this is going.

She knows damn well that he's right. But she just can't help but panic sometimes, knowing that the rest of her classmates have already submitted theirs and she's probably the last one left, although she's been given a grace period.

"Let's go to bed, please? It's already Sunday. We can sleep in. You can get some rest, and I'll be with you since we won't have practice. We can do anything you want except these academics. Please, baby? Have time for yourself too?" Chan barters. He tries his best at making puppy eyes at y/n, hoping his aegyo would work on her like it does with his hyungs.

Y/n sighs as she leans her forehead on Chan's. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his nose gently on to hers, then giving it a small kiss later.

"Whatchu think, bub? Like my proposal?"

"Fine, you win. But only because I'm so so drained now. How do you do it, Channie? How do you get things done and not get guilty and tired at all?" she asks, eyes closed.

"Who told you I don't get tired and guilty? I do. I just don't show it that much." He admits.

"Why though?"

"Because I don't want to worry any of you guys."

Y/N looks at Chan, his eyes on hers, his hands finding their way back to her cheek.

"I've learned to handle myself earlier on because of the nature of my career. And the hyungs helped me a lot too. If you'll allow me, I can help you work that out as well. Because I love you and I am concerned and I want to take care of you the way you derserve to." he lovingly explains.

Y/n smiles sleepily, allowing her whole body to lose its tension. She drops forward to surrender to Chan, who giggles on the floor as he catches her.

"There's my baby girl." he coos, as he sits up, caressing her hair carefully. She snuggles closer to him.

"Oh my God, I've been craving this for a whole week. I really DO deserve this." she exclaims, making Chan laugh lovingly.

He adjusts to carry her towards their shared bedroom in y/n's apartment. Gently, he lays her down before climbing in after her. Y/n immediately attaches herself to him the minute he settles in.

Chan lets y/n lay her head on his chest. He showers her head with little kisses while he rubbed random shapes on her back, lulling her to sleep.

"We'll talk more in the morning bubs. Get some rest, hmm?" Chan says, grabbing a blanket to tuck them both in.

"Mmkay..." y/n sleepily agrees.

Chan was about to close his eyes when his phone rings. A call.

"Hello-?"

"WHERE'S THE UPDATE, CHILD? IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES. ARE YOU HOME YET?" comes Seungcheol's prodding voice. Apparently, because of his worry for Y/N, Chan forgot to update his hyungs who were still probably hanging out together after practice.

"Sorry, hyung." Chan fumbles, as he sets the call on video, showing y/n on his chest, hoping it'd serve as an explanation.

"You got us worried here you know? How can we have ber when- Oh my God, am I seeing this correctly?" asks the older male.

Chan chuckles as he brings the phone back to his face.

"Yep. She almost fell from her seat when I came in. That's why I wasn't able to call. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. What's important is she's getting rest now goddamn... she's hard to take care of sometimes. Proud of you for being patient with her, Lee Chan." Seungcheol salutes from the other side.

"Did I hear right?" Comes Jeonghan's voice as he and Joshua comes into the picture. The three eldest are like real brothers to Chan and even y/n. They worry for them like real siblings would, that's why Chan can always go home earlier than the rest, so he can care for y/n too.

And when y/n is with them, they surround her protectively, along with the other members especially when they're out, since fans can get really pushy sometimes.

"Finally, she's getting sleep. I hope tomorrow we can go out too." Joshua sighs.

"Nope. I promised her we can sleep in and we'll do whatever we want- except those freaking acads."

"Then maybe we could go there instead? We'd bring snacks for her and whatever else she needs. Tell her in the morn-"

Joshua and the other boys stop when they all saw y/n stir in her sleep. Chan immediately caressed her hair to lull her back.

"Channie?" she blinks, trying to lift herself away from him. The boys on the screen signal him to end the call and just message instead but y/n sees them.

"Oh..." she starts as her eyes adjust to the screen.

"Heyyy, y/n! We were just checking in. Go back to sleep." Seungcheol smiles.

Still really tired and sleep drunk, y/n hums. Chan smiles as he helps her lie back down.

"We'll message tomorrow Chan. Get some sleep too. It's been a long day." Seungcheol orders, his leadership shining through the older brother figure that Chan sees in him.

Chan does a salute as the call ends. He puts the phone on dnd on the bed side table and snuggles lower to cuddle with y/n, already going deeper in her sleep.

---

The next morning, Chan wakes up first. Y/N is no longer on him, but is still asleep soundly next to his chest. Her arms wrapped around his middle while her legs tangled with his. He blinks as rays of light sneaks through the blinds, and smiles as his eyes start to focus on the sleeping beauty next to him.

Gently, he carefully carressed her face, using his finger to trace out her freckles that he loved.

Y/n hums and stirs, and Chan freezes for a second. Slowly like a cat basking in daylight, she stretches, hitting Chan's chin on the process.

This was enough to wake her up.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Channie." she goes, caressing the spot she just hit.

Chan laughs it off as he catches her hands, kissing them both gently.

"It's good morning first before that, my love." He says, pulling her close and settling his lips to the top of her head. With a contented sigh, he inhales her scent like his morning coffee.

"Good morning, bub." she giggles. It was music to his ears.

"Good morning, bub. How was your sleep?" He asks, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking strays behind her ear.

"It was good. Really good. I think I dreamed of the oppas..."

Chan laughs loudly at this, his laugh tickling y/n's ears. God, how she loved his laugh.

"It wasn't a dream, my love. They called last night and you saw them." he explains, pinching her cheeks softly then booping her nose.

He was overflowing with love for her so early in the morning, and he couldn't stop himself. Especially now that y/n has finally gotten some rest that she so much deserved.

"Oh they did? So they're coming over?"

"Uh huh. Later in the afternoon."

Y/n reaches over to Chan's side, where her phone was also placed. He gently holds on to her waist as she lifted herself on top of him.

"It's 9am..." she announces.

"Wanna have breakfast? Or brunch?"

"Uhm... I still kinda wanna sleep more." she admits sheepishly as she sinks back to her place besides Chan.

"Then let's sleep more."

"How about the guys?" she worries. "We might oversleep. How are we gonna prepare?"

"Well, I could tell them to come for dinner instead so we could still have more time to sleep and prepare after. What do you think, bub?" he asks, pulling her close.

Y/n takes her time to answer, and stays silent. It fooled Chan into thinking she fell back to sleep.

He was about to snuggle closer and go back to sleep when suddenly, y/n jerks up, her head hitting the same spot on Chan's chin she already hit earlier.

"Owwwww" they both say in unison.

"I'm so so so sorry bubby." She frantically says, laughing. "I was going to try to kiss you!" she worries.

"Double that then." he teases her, tending to his aching chin.

Y/n caresses the spot, then kisses it. She then locks eyes with Chan.

"You can hit my chin one million times and I'd still be head over heels for you after." he whispers.

"I'll kiss all your pain away a million times more then." she whispers back.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because you just did. Why ARE we whispering?" she giggles. Chan sighs.

Gently, he grabs her face in his hands, and softly lands a kiss to her forehead.

He stayed there for a bit, savoring the moment. Y/n closes her eyes and runs her hands on Chan's arms, enjoying the vulnerability and sweetness of the moment.

"I love you-" they say in unison again, after Chan breaks off. They laugh again.

This time, it was y/n's turn.

As they giggled at their antics, she pulled Chan by the collar of his shirt, and gently crashed her lips on his. It took him by surprise, but he quickly adjusts, burrying his hands into her hair and softly playing with them as he returned the kiss.

"God, I love you." He speaks first as they broke it off to catch their breaths. He peppers her face with little kisses, making her smile.

"I love you..." she replies, kissing the top of his nose in return. Chan pulls her back to his chest. His heartbeat drumming loudly, lulling her back to sleep after all the fluff.

"Go back to sleep, my love. We've got a lot of time." he tells her. Y/n nods, loving every moment of her rest. Her deadlines flying out of her thoughts.

---------------------

a/n: guyyyyys it's been so long since i last wrote something here😭 uni has been so stressful lately. Maybe that's why I wrote this in this light and theme. I badly need a Dino in my life too.

Anyways, I want to write more😭 someone give me prompts or something.

And as always, if you loved this as much as I loved writing it, please leave a comment or reblog so other people would see my works too🥹👉🏻👈🏻🤍

lot's of love,

aster🫡

#svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen #svt au #svt x reader #svt fanfic #svt fluff #svt oneshot #dino x reader #dino x you #dino x y/n #lee chan #lee chan svt

[solarswonderland]

dear hanbin

pairing: gn!reader x s.hanbin

wc: 0.5k

genre: fluff, highschool au

warnings: nothing really, just hopeless kids in love

summary: writing a love letter to him

a/n: ive never written anything like this before, I'm actually pretty proud of it. please lmk if it was alright 😓😓

*y.i: your initials

you were always a pen-and-paper person.

you didn't like typing down reminders or to-do lists, you preferred writing them down. there was just something so special about writing to you. probably the way you'd have to shake your pen occasionally because you ran out of ink. or the satisfaction you gain when you scratch out a completed task.

which is probably why you're standing in front of sung hanbin's locker, holding a carefully sealed envelope, decorated with hearts and small stickers you found stuffed deep in your desk drawers.

sung hanbin was truly not real, you thought. there was no way that man was real. he was just too good to be true. the adorable smile, the way he helps everyone around him, how he never got mad, how generous, smart, and nice he is. not to mention, he is incredibly handsome as well. it's no joke, everyone was in love with him. which is one reason you were always too scared to ever confess.

but if there was one thing you were confident in, it was your writing. you figured, since you can't form proper sentences in front of him, why not pen down your thoughts in the form of a letter instead? and that's exactly what you did.

you made sure no one was watching you and slipped the envelope into his locker. you breathed a sigh of relief and made you way to your next class.

after you were gone, hanbin made his way to his locker after basketball practice. he opened it and was startled to see a blue-colored envelope fall out. he grabbed it off the floor and opened it. he thought it might have been mistakenly placed in his locker, but instead was surprised when he read the first two words.

dear hanbin,

it was addressed to him after all. although he was tired and sweaty from practice, he was curious. he continued reading the letter.

dear hanbin,

my heart is racing with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, there are so many words i've been wanting to say to you for years, and i finally have the chance.

from the moment i met you in middle school, when you lent me your pencil because i forgot mine, i've liked you. who knows, maybe its love?

your smile lights up my darkest days, and you have never once failed to make me laugh. every interaction, no matter how small or big, is etched into my memory, replaying over and over again like a broken record. i've admired your kindness, your intelligence, and the way you effortlessly make everyone around you feel at ease.

i want you to know that my feelings for you have not faded with time, if anything, they've grown stronger.

i understand that this letter might come as a surprise, and let's be honest, life's unpredictable. but i couldn't hold back my feelings any longer than i already have. whether fate leads us down a path of togetherness or friendship, i just needed you to know the truth that has been in my heart for so long.

no matter what your response may be, i'll respect it. no matter where life takes us, know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart.

with love,

y.i ♡

he smiled to himself as he read it. just as he was closing the letter after re-reading it over and over again, he saw some text in the back which made him laugh.

do you like me?

□ yes □ no

no pressure, you don't have to tick anything right now :)

sorry that's kinda creepy isn't it

i should probably stop writing...

he grabbed a pen and ticked the 'yes' option, quietly giggling to himself.

© solarswonderland 2023

#kflixnet #k labels #zumblrnet #zerobaseone #zb1 #sung hanbin #hanbin imagines #s.hanbin #hanbin fluff #hanbin angst #hanbin drabbles #hanbin imagine #hanbin x reader #sung hanbin imagines #sung hanbin x reader #sung hanbin smau #sung hanbin fluff #zb1 fluff #zb1 imagines #zb1 angst #zb1 drabbles #zb1 headcannons #zb1 imagine

[disfrutalakia]

If I was cool and smart I would analyze how Bad's and Forever's relationship got to the point where it is with the pranks, arguments and all that, but I'm not. So instead I will analyze Forever and how his mind might be working right now

Under the cut cause you guys know how much I like to talk <3

Ok so, it has been a bit since the whole happy pills arc happened already and now it's starting to become more and more clear how much it actually affected Forever.

Since he woke up from the coma it's very visible both from Forever's pov and other's how much quieter he is sometimes (yeah in meta it's cause the cc has a good mic now but hear me out) his laugh doesn't booms anymore, you can't hear it bouncing around the walls when he makes a joke, and his voice in general sounds a lot sadder and calmer nowadays, it was especially noticeable yesterday when he was giving Bagi the lore rundown, he sounded sad talking about those past times, simpler times where he was on Bagi's place and Bad was the one telling him about the lore.

But although the voice is the most obvious change on his behavior, I don't think it's the most impactful one, the biggest change I would say is how much he refuses to use totems now, yes he has around 3k totems on his backpack but since he woke up from that coma he just stopped holding one, cause he has no regard for his own safety anymore really. Forever is a playful person and he often hides what he is truly feeling and thinking when he is around other which is why I think this is so hard to notice sometimes, but it became obvious to me how little he cares about himself currently the day he was killing the magma cube at Mouse's room, he popped a lot of totems (probably more than 5) in a row, but his face didn't even move, he was focused on dealing with the immediate threat and when people asked how many totem he had he didn't even bother to answer, cause he doesn't care anymore. Another thing that made me notice this was him talking with Bagi awhile ago (truly can't remember when but it's recent) and telling her that someday she would "Miss the times when she could die" because he is often commenting how he feels too imortal right now. He also uses a lot of mines right now, without regard if they will harm himself or not, he had never used those things before Richas disappeared but now he does, he has around 700 stashed away on his backpack and if he feels the need for it, he will use it.

Now, Forever's pov has always been a bit lonely, yes he is extroverted but too many interactions tire him out and if he is hanging out with a group he usually sticks to those closest to him (the other brazilians, Baghera, Bad, Philza). But although he was always a bit lonely he was never truly alone, or at least not in the way he is now, he often will comment something about how he feels there isn't anyone that puts him first, that always stick to his side (Cellbit was the one closest to doing that but, Forever knows that in the end of the day, the person that Cellbit will always put first will be Roier), he has talked about how he had no idea that people worried about him while he was in the coma, he has no idea that Philza wanted to wake him up, that Bad, Pac and Cellbit would sit by his side and just talk to him sometimes, he doesn't know how much people care about him because he himself doesn't truly cares about himself right now, so why would others? He feels guilty for the pills, for how he treated others and thinks he deserved the way he was treated. Which is pretty sad to.

Forever feels broken now, he could see that Mike was messed up the moment he put his eyes on him and he was gentle about it, tried asking Mike about what happened, and when Mike talked about killing eggs he didn't panic, scream at him or anything, he tried to get information. He knows the feeling of not being himself and that's how he sees Mike right now, a broken man who is not himself because of trauma.

I've talked about it once or twice, but even if the happy pills arc is over the old Forever will never return, cause he doesn't exist anymore, he has been traumatized way too many times to come back.

Boy I feel like this doesn't make a lot of sense and yeah it's mostly me rambling cause I just have too many thoughts lmao but the main thing of this giant wall of text is:

Forever is fucked up, his mind is not in a good place and might not ever be again. He didn't come back wrong the way people like Mike did, but he definitely changed.

#qsmp #qsmp forever #literal wall of text <3 #character analysis #in a way

[wisellamawerewolf]

What's that? HOT single dad with BIG naturals in YOUR area Hazbin Hotel tag? More likely than you think!

Ok, jokes aside, I've decided to try something new for myself and redesign HH Lucifer. I'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm not a professional character designer (in fact I can barely draw), but I tried anyway just for the fun of it.

Sorry I took your goofy tumblr sexyman wannabe and turned him into a depressed dead-beat dilf, who's deeply unamused by the shit happening around him. Also he is trans and doesn't even bind (like a king he is) because I have to represent Viv's biblical lore as accurately as possible.

*Disclaimer: under the cut you can find an obnoxiously long text detailing my design choices. It's probably poorly articulated and not at all amusing, so you can just skip it. Also there's a badly drawn hat somewhere down there, so beware.*

I'll begin with the most obvious: Lucifer's main inspiration for his look was the ram. Mostly because the goat is supposedly already taken by Satan if I remember VivziePop Lore correctly, but also because it's a direct reference to a sacrificial lamb. I used images of a Jacob sheep as a reference, for multiple reasons: 1. Their fur often has a two-colored pattern (usually black/dark brown and white, which will become important later), 2. Sometimes they can grow as much as four horns, which kinda gives me this occult, almost demonic vibe, I was going for. 3. They're kinda cute. Look at them majestic beasts:

Moving on.

In the hellaverse the seven deadly sins are supposed to be themed after different types of circus performers, and Lucifer wasn't an exception, his outfit clearly being inspired by a ringmasters' costume, while his white face with red cheeks are supposed to resemble a clown makeup.

I've decided to keep the circus theme and run with it (maybe a bit too far, as you will see in a second).

My first point of reference was the same as in the original: the ringleader. Given the chosen theme it kinda makes sense, since he is supposed to be a main ruler of hell. You can really tell that he runs this circus. Awful jokes aside, his upper wear is obviously inspired by a circus ringmasters' outfits, with a mix of trates from another character that can be sometimes found performing in a circus, which brings us to:

Pierrot. Now, although his character originated from the Italian theater, pierrot can be considered a clown in a more modern sense. (At least I think so. If I'm wrong clown experts can kick my ass in the comments, I probably deserve this)

Pierrot often characterized as a melancholic, a sufferer and a tragic lover. When it comes to the humor in the circus setting specifically, it usually comes from the pierrot's melancholic nature and often involves his clumsiness and kind of self-deprecating slapstick, which I find quite fitting for a man who fucked up so bad that he isolated himself from the rest of the world and who's wife left him because of that. Lucifer's whole life after the fall has been one giant unfunny joke, and he isn't coping well with it.

Elements of a pierrot costume can be observed in the white jacket, the coat lapel of which is mimicking a frilled collaret. The fur pattern on his face is also a reference to a pierrot's make-up: a white face with black (well, brown in our case) tears.

Lastly, you probably have noticed the shirt, which has the main colour accent to it. It's actually inspired by a strongman singlet.

I've decided to give it less stripes for simplicity (also because I'm lazy). He's supposed to be wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt underneath his costume, but I'm too tired to draw another image, so I guess you have to use your imagination on that one. I'll be frank, it's mostly supposed to be a little nod to the fact that Lucifer is supposed to be a strongest being in hell. Yeah I included it into my design because of a bad pun.

On a second thought, it's probably not great that I've tried to crum in three different types of circus performers into one character, but I'm not a professional character designer, so I legitimately do not know if that's ok. More experienced people are welcome to critique or correct me in the replies/comments.

BONUS:

While finishing the first image I randomly thought to myself that besides the ringleader elements, there's may not be enough clues that he's a monarch. So I decided to do a separate image where I clown around to try and redesign his crown/tophat, so here it is:

And if I decided to break down my thought process designing Lucifer himself, I might as well do it here also.

I've decided to keep the crown and ringmasters' tophat elements. I used images of a ringleaders' tophats and the imperial state crown as my main points of reference.

All the metallic elements of the "crown" are actually made out of pyrite, also known as a fool's gold (you can really tell that I'm a fan of dumb puns). I decided to used it to further showcase how Lucifer ruling the hell is treated like a joke.

Chains surrounding the tophat are supposed to represent how Lucifer was unwillingly thrown into this position and it weighs him down.

These two rings at the bottom are supposed to look kinda like a snakeskin (yes really), which is a reference to that scene where he turns into a snake to give Eve an apple. Speaking of which:

At the top is placed an imperial orb, with a upsidedown star (pentagram) instead of a cross. It carries the same meaning as a regular imperial orb in a sense that it shows monarch's power, but it's also kinda mocks the regular globus cruciger. (Fun fact: russians sometimes call it something like a "monarch's apple". I just thought it was kinda funny considering the context I'm using it in.).

The rest of the elements are taken from a regular tophat ringleaders' usually wear.

Anyway, that's all I have. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments or replies, I'll gladly read them.

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel redesign

[ssahotstuff]

Day 6–Facesitting

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Warnings: talks about weight/looks, being self conscious, face sitting, Aaron being an angel

Word count: 2k

You had always been a little insecure about your weight—it was no secret to anyone. At some point, everyone struggles with their looks; eventually they learn to live with it. However it was something you'd held onto, no matter how many times you heard how good you looked, or how many compliments you received. It was just something you hadn't managed to get over, and sometimes you doubted that you ever would.

That was all until Aaron came along.

He was a man who treated you like royalty, no matter what the circumstances. He thought you hung the moon, and you felt the same way about him, always going out of your way to do things for him, even if you knew he could do it himself. I'm return, he made you feel like the most special woman alive. No man had ever went to lengths that he did to keep you happy. Aaron was the type of man that took care of the people he loved, in any way possible. He'd never let you feel bad about yourself even for a second.

On this night in particular, Aaron wasn't home. He was working a case, and although you weren't sure when he'd be back, you prayed it was soon. You'd had a rough day at work, and when you came home, you stepped on the scale, immediately regretting the decision as soon as your foot was on the device. It had prompted an evening of sulking, laying in bed under the covers waiting for the possible arrival of your man. As the hours passed, you assumed he wouldn't be coming. You'd nearly dozed off when he came through the door, obviously happy to see you.

"There's my girl," he said brightly, crossing the room in giant strides so he could make it to you, sitting on the bed next to you. He gave you a once-over and frowned, assessing your mood and essentially profiling you, even though you'd begged him not to.

"What's wrong, baby?"

You weren't even sure of what to say. You hadn't gained any weight, but you hadn't lost any either. You weren't dieting but the number on the scale was always discouraging, even unintentionally.

"Would you tell me if I started being unattractive to you?"

He seemed perplexed, staring back at you blankly as if he'd expected a lot of questions, but that wasn't one of them.

"Baby, what's this about? I'll always think you're the most gorgeous woman in the world," he assured you, taking off his blazer, laying it across the back of his desk chair, undoing his belt next. He let his pants clatter to the floor, his shirt next, and then he was crawling in bed next to you, taking both of your hands in his.

"It's nothing, Aaron. I just feel—ugly," you cringed at your choice of word but there was no other way to describe it.

"Baby, you're so beautiful. I know some days are harder than others. I understand that. But I need you to hear me, sweetheart. You're so gorgeous," he kissed your cheek, making all of your doubts fizzle away as quickly as they'd surfaced. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tight, letting him kiss your cheeks before pulling you into his lap.

"I've missed you so much," you told him, earning a chuckle from him in response. He let you lean forward, pressed to his chest as he raked his hand over your hair.

"I've missed you, beautiful. I'm so glad to be home with you for a couple of days," he'd be home until he got another case, and you prayed it was for more than a day this time. Last time he was home, you only had him for a couple of hours before he was pulled away from you again.

"Me too. Maybe we could be lazy tomorrow," you suggested, and you felt him nod, kissing your temple.

"We can do whatever you want, baby. Are you tired?"

You shook your head; now that he was home, the last thing you wanted to do was sleep. You wanted to touch him, but you were hesitant because of your sour mood, hoping he could change your mind.

"I know you're probably exhausted. We can go to bed," you offered, pulling back to look at him. It was his turn to shake his head, his eyes raking over you as his hands moved to your thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"We have all night to sleep. Right now, I just want to look at you."

You wanted to feel shy under the scrutiny of his gaze, but it was impossible. He made you feel too good, sent your confidence soaring with his sweet words and loving tone. It was hard not to believe every word that came out of his mouth, no matter how unbelievable some of his comments about you seemed at the time. He put you on another level, above everyone else, even himself. You were his number one, and he made sure you always knew it.

Aaron sat up a little straighter, his hands moving upward to your sides as he pulled you closer, his mouth meeting yours. It was gentle, tender, the way he seemed to melt into you, kissing you slowly; you'd never get tired of the way he tasted, and it had been so long, and every fiber of your being craved him.

Your make out session was beginning to turn steamy, his hands creeping under your shirt to cup your breasts, bare under your T-shirt as he rolled your nipples between his fingers, pinching them lightly until you were pushing your chest forward for him to give him better access.

"I need you to do something for me," he started, your bottom lip between his teeth as he looked into your eyes. The love radiated off of him; you could feel it all over you, in his touch, the way he said your name with such fondness. It was clear that he adored every inch of you, whether you felt comfortable in your skin or not.

"Anything," you promised him, watching his eyes crinkle up as he smiled back at you. He kissed you briefly before taking your hands, his lips brushing your knuckles as he brought them to his mouth.

"If you want me to make you feel good, I need you to let go of every doubt in your mind. Let me take it all away for you, baby. Focus on me, the way we make each other feel," he explained, his grip on you firm; he was afraid of making you upset, but he wanted you to concentrate on him and not on the things you were constantly worrying about.

"I can do that," you told him, and he gave you a short nod before meeting your mouth once more, bringing your shirt over your head before he did the same. You were chest to chest when he suggested it—taking you completely off guard.

"Will you sit on my face?"

You weren't sure what to say. It was something new and intimidating but he trusted you enough to ask, so you felt like you should at least consider it, even if the idea kind of made you feel funny.

"You want me to?"

He nodded, already sliding down in the bed, eyes on you the entire time. He was waiting for you to give him a reason that you couldn't, for you to make something up—he wouldn't try to convince you if you didn't want to, he'd respect your boundaries. But deep down you knew it was something he wanted to try and making him happy gave you the most joy; not only that, it would be pleasurable for you, and he loved being the one to give it to you.

"We don't have to—" he started, kissing your cheek, but you shook your head, pulling him in for a much needier kiss, meeting his mouth with urgency.

"I want to," you assured him, his eyebrow raised back at you, his grip tightening on your thighs. You still had on pajama shorts, but Aaron was already working to tug them down your legs, making you sit up so he could strip you down. He groaned when he realized you weren't wearing panties underneath, his thumb immediately finding your clit, rubbing tantalizingly slow, the butterflies in your stomach spreading throughout your entire body as Aaron continued to move lower, until he was nearly flat on the mattress.

"I really want you to; it'll give me the perfect view of you," the cheeky grin he wore was enough for you to stop being anxious—there was no reason to be with him. He'd always take care of you, make sure you were comfortable. He had you hover on your knees until he was situated below you, and then he pulled you down to sit mostly on his chest, a hum of satisfaction leaving his lips when he finally had you where he wanted you.

"If you need me to stop, all you have to do is say the word," he reminded you, your safe word was made for situations like this, but you wouldn't need it; you were actually excited to find out what it felt like having been too afraid to do it with anyone else before.

"I'm okay, Aaron. I promise," you told him, gripping the headboard for support as he dove headfirst into your center, his arms wrapped around your thighs to keep you in place. It was certainly more than you expected, being completely open and exposed for him, but the pleasure was undeniable. Aarons tongue was expertly swirling around your clit, flicking it delicately; you were already close, panting for breath as he nodded up at you, urging you to let it go. When you finally did, the sensation billowed around you, like a wave that you were desperate to ride out. His hands moved to cup your ass, pulling you forward and closer to him, if that was even possible. You were smushed against him already, your knees against the headboard and your thighs wrapped around his head. If you didn't know any better, you'd say he was more content than you'd ever seen him, the soft smile on his face hadn't gone anywhere since he started.

"You taste so sweet, princess. Thank you for trusting me like this," he purred, pressing a tender kiss to your inner thigh before he continued lapping at your pussy hungrily—he'd been gone for days so you had no doubt that he'd missed you. You were getting a taste of exactly how much as he buried his face in your center. It was enough to have your head spinning as you gripped his hair. He encouraged you to tug at it all you wanted, only speaking when he wanted to try something different.

"Ride my face, baby. That's it," he said softly as you began to move your hips back and forth, quite literally riding his tongue, your orgasm overpowering you as you latched onto the headboard for support. Aaron held onto you from below, making sure you stayed upright.

"Feels so good, baby," you choked, breathing heavily as Aaron continued expertly swiping his tongue against you; he'd never get tired of it, lost in the sensation. He was a man who knew what he wanted, and nothing would stop him from getting his way; you wouldn't be moving until he was completely satisfied.

You were thankful for letting go of your inhibitions and letting Aaron give you a new experience, something you could do again in the future. You knew better than to feel self conscious around him, he'd always make you feel like you were on top of the world, the brightest star in his sky. You made a promise to yourself to quit holding back with him—you'd be open to trying whatever he wanted, all he had to do was ask.

Master tags: @wheelsupkels @periodtcevans @hausofwhores @criminallyobsessedcm @tojithesourcerkiller @fireworksinthesky @pedrohoe04 @rousethemouse @thegettingbyp2 @mojo366

#ssa aaron hotchner smut #ssa hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner au #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner gif #Aaron hotchner #criminal minds #Hotch #hotch smut #aaron hotchner x fem reader #aaron hotchner one shot #kinkmas #cw: weight mention

[aforrestofstuff]

Chapter 173 Expert Review: The "Hey, my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe" Edition

The cover makes me so uncomfortable it's like I'm at a party and said something weird just as the music went quiet and everyone heard and they're all looking at me and everyone hates me and I'm so anxious and

Welcome to the Chapter 173 Expert Review! I have completely lost count of how many of these I've done. If you're coming here for a well-thought-out meta-commentary on the hit series franchise anime manga One Punch Man, then look elsewhere because I put a grand total of ten minutes of thought into this post that took me 45 minutes to write.

I hope you're all well. If you're new here from Twitter then yes, I'm really always like this and I apologize. I don't know how to segway to the actual commentary, so um......... here we gooooooo.....

I don't know what I was expecting. Could I have predicted that Murata would yassify Bofoi? Probably. Do I ever want to come to terms with the fact that he did? No.

Shut up I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. I'm not. He looks like he's wearing those really oversized dentures at Party City. His head looks more like an egg than Saitama's. Why does he still look kinda.... no I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'M NOT. GET OUT OF MY HEAAADD RAAAAAAEERERARAAAAWW

I'D FUCK HIM!!!! I'D FUCK BOFOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING HE'S NOT AN ENDEARING SORT OF UGLY OK IM SICK OF IT!!! I'M GONNA DESTROY HIS OLD MAN CERVIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA FUCK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many enemies has Saitama made just by existing already. Is this number three? Sonic, God, and now Bofoi? Oh, well, I guess Saitama did fuck up his robots but that was self-defense 100% and it WILL hold up in the court of law.

Oh, okay. Now we have a better idea of the timeline since Saitama became a hero.... only two months???? Dude, I've had packages lost in the mail for longer than that.

I kinda thought he'd been a hero for at least six months. I guess what Garou said about coming back to fuck up the heroes after six months at the beginning of his arc was only a sort of red herring to make it seem like he'd be the world-ending Shibabooby prophecy, but in relation to how long Saitama's been a hero, turns out my guy only fucked shit up for like, what? One month?

Was this just obvious to everyone else except me. I really should've never learned how to read dawg.

THANK YOU Amai Mask for being the "Please explain the plot so readers with the comprehension skills of fourth graders can know what's going on" character in this because I swear to fucking god I had no clue what anyone was talking about.

Also, Ninja Leader makes an appearance as Blast's totally super platonic partner. Supposedly they were "searching for a mysterious cube" together. People these days make up such weird euphemisms for skipping work to fuck each other in a ditch, I swear. 🙄🙄🙄

A couple of things:

Is Blast wearing the Ninja Leader's glasses in the present? Oh, so they really were super platonic, huh.

You mean to tell me bro aged THIS MUCH in two years? 700 days ago he was late-twenties rager at Planet Fitness and now he's a 57-year-old salt and pepper daddy at the gay bar?

I guess it could have something to do with his powers, manipulating space-time and all that. Blast teleports through something that is basically a copy-and-pasted black hole, which could explain why time flows differently for him, but doesn't time slow down near a black hole? So he should be aging slower if anything.

So, did God age him? Is this even the same Blast that came in contact with God? Something something uuuhh time travel something something...

I don't fucking know. This could also just be a case of "Murata doesn't know how to draw people that look their age" although he's been getting better about that, at least... Just seems ODD to me that Blast has aged like an avocado in a manga where characters only seem to look younger as time goes by.

Very noble that he's fighting God alone with the Interdimensional Justice League and their Pocket Dimension Pool Table to protect everyone else. Something still feels fishy about this, though........ especially since he's a deadbeat ass dad in the webcomic. I don't trust a GODDAMN thing this boy has to say. I DONT CARE IF HE'S HOT!! And I think that is so brave of me.

Forrest has a theory and everyone's gotta hear about it a million times until he's proven otherwise.

Y'all already heard me say how God has one-sided beef with Saitama because Saitama broke the limiter God had placed on him, and I suppose that alone is still a decent reason for God to be pulled to Earth, but I still think God's full body (and power) is imprisoned in the dimensional seal Blast was screaming about as Saitama was fighting Monster Garou V2.

And Saitama's habit of fucking shit up as collateral for saving the world is further eroding God's jail cell, so he's unknowingly helping his enemy get closer to him. This fucking goober.

It makes sense because the massive body in the seal looks like a fully-formed person, whereas whenever we see God free, he's always a sort of unfinished skeletal figure. He's incomplete.

Is this another one of those things where it seems painfully obvious to everyone else except me. Y'all are free to hop in my inbox and call me a dumbass if you want.

Final thoughts because this review is already too goddamn long and I wanted to shitpost a bit more but I guess I can do that on other posts because I'm TIRED.

All in all, we really needed a good expo-debrief chapter to put everything in perspective because the Monster Association arc was a load of reveals with not a lot of resolutions. I think the ending was still very anticlimactic because, although we were introduced to a lot of shit like God and Blast and whatnot, none of that was really tied up in a satisfying way, nor left on an interesting cliffhanger. Just more and more questions. Even Garou's arc hasn't ended really, and all the development he and Saitama had gone through was forgotten (for NOW, because of Genos' core, but I digress) so it almost feels like... not much really happened at all. Nothing really ended, it was just a collection of more plot threads beginning.

I wish ONE waited a bit longer to really delve into God and Blast because I think the Monster Association arc could've been a lot more comprehensive and well-paced if it had just been (mostly) contained to what was happening between the heroes and monsters. But I can appreciate how comprehensive the plot is now after the fallout, just... the road to get here was rocky. I lost all the tires on my jeep.

I'm excited for Psychic Sisters.

In conclusion: if you were at the Whole Foods down the street and took a blue bike tied to the railing then you're a fucking bitch GIVE IT BACK!! THAT'S MY FUCKING BIKE!!

GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BIKE!!!!! YOU STOLE MY BIKE!!

p.s. -- I'm still waiting for the Zombiedad and Child Emperor Get Milkshakes Together omake. Murata, pls. Also give my bike back.

Thanks for reading. Please, I need my bike.

#opm #one punch man #flashy flash #zombieman #child emperor #meta #saitama #genos #blast #god #amai mask #garou #metal knight

[gremlinbean]

WIP Wednesday

This weeks WIP Wednesday post comes from a Tim Drake-focused WIP I've had on the back burner for a couple of years now, adding to it as and when I feel like. I'm hoping posting this here and getting some feedback might encourage me to work on it more lol

Anyways, this part of the WIP is the direct aftermath of Tim getting kidnapped and slightly tortured, and happens in a universe where Tim did become Joker Junior, although it happens differently than in cannon here. The fic will also take place a couple years after Brucequest, and have Jaytim.

Anyways, WIP under the cut

When Tim finally woke up properly, rather than just the in and out moments of consciousness he occasionally had, he was in a hospital, judging by the sounds and smells around him. He... Last thing he could remember was the taser and his... memories. Maybe he heard Jason, his voice distorted by his helmet, but he couldn't be sure... Was probably his mind playing tricks on him. Although, he must have been rescued somehow. Else he wouldn't be here... 

With a small sigh and more effort than he appreciated (morphine, his mind helpfully supplied), he opened his eyes to look around and confirmed that, yes, he was in a hospital. And, unsurprisingly, he was alone. That... Although it was to be expected - there was no way any of them were willing to visit him in hospital, except to reduce the chances of a publicity scandal - some part of Tim ached. He was used to being let down and alone, but still... Another sigh escaped him as he tried to get his body to move with him. He must have been out for a while - he didn't seem to have any of the after-effects of being tasered. That was good and bad he guessed. It meant he didn't have to deal with uncontrollable limbs, but it gave Bruce all the more reason to be disappointed and provided Damian with even more ammunition to cut Tim deep... Oh well. His head was too fuzzy for him to care. Besides, he had no reason to give a shit. He'd accepted a long time ago that he wasn't one of them, he acted as a solo vigilante more than a team player now (had since he returned with Bruce two years prior, if he were being honest), and he'd learnt how to be alone years ago. He didn't need them, just as they didn't need him. He would be fine. He-

"You're awake!" a familiar voice declared, informing Tim of the new presence in his room. He tensed, focusing on the doorway, where he found Bruce and Jason stood. Bruce, having been the one that had spoken, rushed forward, a frown tugging at his brow as he quietly asked, "Are you alright?"

That... Right. A quick glance at the nurse that had followed Bruce and Jason into the room told Tim all he needed to know. They weren't really there for him, he guessed, even as he faked a small, tired smile, they were there because they were expected to be. Well, Bruce was, so Jason's presence didn't make sense, but he was probably there on behalf of Alfred. The butler probably wanted someone to run interference so that Bruce wouldn't start on his lecture as soon as Tim woke up... With a barely perceptible sigh and a scratchy voice (damn, Tim hadn't realized how thirsty he was), Tim replied, "I... Fuzzy."

"That'd be the morphine, Mr Wayne," the nurse explained, carefully pouring a glass of water. As she did that, Tim attempted to pull himself upright, but he didn't get a chance to move. Instead, Jason stepped forward and, with a surprising amount of gentleness and care, helped him, adjusting the pillows so he was leaning against them. That... Tim's heart fluttered at that, but he scolded himself for it. Jason was just doing it to keep up the image and keep the nurse happy. He didn't give two shits about Tim... With a sigh, he accepted the cup the nurse held for him, taking it in shaky hands. For a second, it looked like Bruce was going to help him with it, but Tim was able to force his hands steady. He was already weak enough in Bruce's eyes, he didn't need to give the man any more reason to be disappointed... He-

"We have some tests we need to run, Mr Wayne. Are you feeling up to it?" the nurse asked, distracting Tim from where he'd been carefully sipping at the water. For a second, he hesitated, but he soon nodded. That earned him a soft smile from the nurse, before she ushered Bruce and Jason out of the room. That left Tim with just her, until the doctor arrived a minute later. With his umpteenth sigh since he woke up, Tim got ready for the usual uncomfortable tests...

#wip wednesday #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #jaytim #i honestly don't know how to tag things #tell me if there are any tags yall think i need to add #tw torture mention #tw torture

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Let's all rejoice while we can, because this is the second week in a row that Faith Cadogan has been completely absent from Casualty! Okay, now that I've celebrated that, I'm going to talk about my thoughts. I don't know how much detail I'll be able to go into, because I'm very tired and I don't feel well today, but I'll try.

I thought tonight was very good! It centred on a lot of my favourite characters - even if it did, sadly, have no Jacob - so that was great as well.

Max gets more reminiscent of Henrik by the week! They're so similar it isn't even funny anymore. Being mean to get people to leave him alone, refusing assistance when he needs it, etc. And that's not even getting into the whole absent father thing.

Despite all of this, Max mostly endeared himself to me more tonight, even if he wasn't being nice much of the time. He's such an interesting and complicated character and I'm so sad he'll be leaving so soon. I'm also very sad that his backstory, at this point, will probably just get a bit of quick exposition and then be forgotten about like Gaskell. Sigh.

Nigel Harman's performance was brilliant as ever, and Anna Chell and William Beck acted very well alongside him too. I loved how Dylan stood up for Jodie and expressed how worried he was about Max. It was great to see Dylan get something to do tonight.

Also, tonight reminded me that I hope Casualty lets Dylan be a dad someday. It feels like the right progression of his character arc.

Although, now that I remember, wasn't there supposed to be a conversation about Donna? Did I miss that? Again, I'm very tired so I might have done.

Speaking of brilliant characters that remind me of Henrik, Stevie was great tonight as well. I loved how kind she was to Kofi. I thought that was handled so sensitively and done so well, and without asking the audience to pity him, which was good. I hate it when shows try and invoke a pity response like that. Sympathy is one thing, but pity is another, and I thought tonight made that distinction so well.

I also thought the parallel between her and the man with apparent PTSD was interesting. It reminded me a bit of the scenes on Holby where a porter picked up on Luc's PTSD because he knew what it was like himself.

Rida is lovely, Rash is lovely, their scenes together are lovely. What more can I say? I love their interactions. They're great together, even if the thing about Rida having left the door open at the flat earlier felt a bit contrived as a reason for Rash to worry.

Since when is Teddy and Paige's engagement back on? I don't get why it's back on. It just feels like they're staying engaged not for character reasons, but for 'making the show more dramatic' reasons, and that frustrates me.

Next week, it seems we're going to have to put up with Faith again. Sigh. Not having her around was nice while it lasted.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers

[justrambles]

(Beauty and the beast steddie)

No.7 — Time

Mike is interested in Eddie's guitar. Eddie catches him sneaking glances at his Sweetheart, and decides to ask.

"You play?" he asks, gesturing towards the guitar.

"Do you?" Mike reflexively talks back, but realizes it's a pointless question and just shakes his head.

"I don't know how to play. I never learned. I wanted to, though."

The kid seems a bit sad and Eddie hates seeing him like that, so he decides there's no harm in offering.

"I could teach you if you want?"

And obviously it's a wrong move, because suddenly Mike tenses up and spits out,

"Yeah, as if I could pick strings with these hooves. It's not gonna work. Nothing ever works here. Thanks, Eddie, but no thanks."

"Whoa man- Mike, calm down. You can still learn, you know. There's no 'one' way to learn playing. I could show you the chords first and then you'll be able to practice it yourself later."

"Yeah, except there's not going to be a later."

Mike's still pissed, but he's gotten calmer. He now just seems a little annoyed at himself as he grumbles. It's a crisis averted and Eddie is relieved, as he secretly tries to come up with other ways to get Mike into playing guitar. It's just a hunch, but he thinks learning to play's gonna be good for Mike.

But then, (because he's got the worst timing ever) Dustin bursts in and shouts,

"Eddie! I need your help, quick!"

***

It's really remarkable, Eddie has to admit.

He stands before a wall in the boys' room, filled with jagged tally marks. Dustin looks proud of the abstract artwork, Mike's gotten tense again, and Lucas just seems tired of it all.

"Well, Dustin, it looks great. Didn't know you had a thing for art." Eddie has no idea what it means.

"What? No, this is not just some art, dude. This is my calendar. You know, I've been counting the days since we got cursed—"

"You mean Max has been counting," Lucas chips in and Dustin rolls his eyes.

"Yes, Lucas, Max has been marking since she has the most fitting claw for the task. But it's my idea, so I've been counting."

Ah, Max. Eddie knows who Max is now. Turns out the panther he met wasn't Steve. Turns out she wasn't even a panther, after all. He's embarrassed himself in front of the puma thinking that she was Steve, and he'd really like to not think about it now. So he asks,

"And about the calendar...?"

This stops Dustin from bantering with Lucas, and he turns to Eddie to give an explanation.

"Yeah, so, I've been counting the days with Max's help. And although I probably missed some dates on the days when we pissed Max off and she didn't want to help and I had to count in my head, I'm pretty sure I've got it close enough, so I wanted to crosscheck."

Eddie is now fully amused. Dustin put a lot of effort into this, he can tell. So he nods, indicating him to go on.

"So... is this May 17th, 1985?"

And wow, he's really close considering everything, so Eddie tries to answer but is cut off by Mike's voice.

"What does it even matter?"

"Huh?" comes Dustin's confused voice.

"What's the point of counting? It does nothing."

Now Dustin seems a bit tense too, and Eddie hopes this doesn't end bad. It seems unlikely.

"Well, Mike-, we need to know when we are in the time. We need to be prepared for when we get back—"

"Yeah, you keep saying 'when we get back' but we won't! That's the thing! We're not getting back, there's no 'later', we're stuck here, stuck in this body because of the stupid curse, while everything goes on without us!"

With that Mike stomps out, and Eddie can't do anything but stare into the now empty spot. Dustin doesn't look so well either, he mutters out a little "fuck," and walks out, too. Eddie hears Lucas sigh.

"So when is it?" Lucas asks a bit after, "Is it May-whatever-Dustin-said?"

"Uh, close enough. June 23rd, 1986. Should-, should we go after them?"

"No, they'll get over it. Usually they're not the ones fighting — it's either Max and Mike or Steve and Robin — but I guess Dustin has too much hope."

And the way he says it makes it feel like Lucas doesn't have much hope either. Eddie wonders what happened all those years before.

"Does he?"

Lucas glances up at his question.

"Do you think Dustin has too much hope, too?"

"Well, we've been like this for almost three decades and the curse is still not close to breaking, is it?"

The curse.

"Why do you think that you can't break the curse? What is it exactly?"

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #beauty and the beast au #intense kids #i think mike would be bit defensive (like the beginning of s4?) bc a lot happened #dustin would be trying to hold on to things he can control #lucas would have been tense too but he's trying to stay calm for his friends and little sister #eddie is just worried

[equestrianequivalent]

- Arrival -

Is this island really located just above the British Isles? Surely it shouldn't have taken this long to get here. You would think I have travelled for years. Perhaps I'm just bored of sterile white walls and tourist chatter. Not that I can say much of the latter, I'm technically a tourist too, for now. Give it three months and I'll surely behave like I've lived here half my life. Man I wish, imagine growing up on Jorvik. Atleast the destination is worth the age long travel. Still, I really could do without the ferries and tourists and alcohol and half-proper food, and tourists drinking alcohol and ordering too much half-proper food. Guess I'm just tired of people in general huh, shocker. Genius of me to work at a riding camp then. Ah well, they accepted me, it's their problem if I suck at it.

Oh thank god. Announcement lady, my saviour. 10 minutes and I'll be off this thing. Or well probably 15 or 20 with queues accounted, but point stands, I'll be off soon. Couldn't have been more well timed. Jorvik next.

Yeah that ferry ride really took me out. Even my headphone music is starting to irritate me. It's just a quick bus ride left, I'll manage. A quick bus ride of… 20 minutes? So closer to 30 with stops and real life accounted for then. Just a bus ride left, indeed. I'm still on time though, that's what matters. Atleast the bus will have windows, aslong as I can sightsee it's fine. God I hope this stupid bus isn't too full. Am I even at the right stop? Surely. I'm the only one here so far, luckily. No way to sneakily fact check my location though, bummer. Guess I'll just have to trust that my streak of always being at the right place holds up this time too. Who am I kidding, of course it will.

Well that's definitely the bus to Moorland Stables. Good, wouldn't have the energy to deal with a wrong bus line right now. Quite empty too, lucky me. Not that I'm doing too badly, it's hard to stay irritated when the weather's this nice and the nature so fine. They weren't kidding, this island is gorgeous. No wonder equestrians pilgrim here year round. Guess I'm basic for picking summer, though. To be fair, I'm staying past summer, but I'm still arriving at summer. Me and half the world's equestrians with the funds to go, not exactly a contrarian pick. Still, some things are popular for a reason. Just because I'll run into half the world here doesn't mean it isn't warranted. Although, I guess had half the world really been here I'd have dipped before I even got off the ferry. Would've been a shame to call it quits before I even arrive, I could watch this scenery pass by for hours. Who needs horses when you can sightsee. Combining the two will be nice, the best of both worlds. Speaking of, that's the stable in the distance. Finally. I can switch sightseeing for horses for a bit, no worries. An entire quarter of nothing but horses here I come.

God what a thing. Atleast it didn't take too long, but really? The stable's legally threatened, the owner's at god knows where, and I'm getting my horse tomorrow? You'd think I'm starring in a new sitcom. Poor lad should be happy I didn't have the energy to say anything back. Not that he deserved it himself, but still, what a situation. Ah well, free range to check out the stable and "familiarise myself with the horses" is a fair trade for human shenanigans. I'll take it. They didn't say which one I'd have though. Actually, have they even decided that yet? Surely they've assigned their personnel horses by now? Or did the already lost legal case fuck with that too? Whatever, not my problem. Yet. By Aideen, girl, do you do anything but complain?

#sso #ssoblr #star stable #star stable online #star stable fanfiction #Part 1 of a continous story I'm writing #Can't promise how long we're going for but I've got a few more parts already written so far #Part 2 will come out Friday at the same time

[invisiblegarters]

Only Friends Character & Relationship Ramblings - Ep 11

Last week on Everyone (put a pin in that everyone, because I think we're having trouble with it) Here is Messy, Boeing was doing his best to mess with the reconciliation of Top and Mew. Top shut him down pretty fast because my man is smart and he doesn't want anything getting in the way of Mew forgiving him, but Mew entertained the idea a little too much for most of fandom to handle. I, however, thought it was very understandable if not entirely the best choice. Atom accused Boston of raping him and no one stopped to think that maybe that was a tiny exaggeration on the little weasel's part because apparently being a slut means one is capable of anything (okay yes also because of what he did with Top, but let's not pretend that's the only reason here) and I nearly blew a fuse. And Ray found out that his dad had hired Sand to get him off the sauce and in predictable Ray fashion flew off the handle about it, leaving Sand devastated. He later learned what we all should have guessed (although lbr some people really want to think that Sand is awful in any way they can, lol): Sand had the money practically forced on him and still returned it, because he cares more about Ray than he does about his bank account (this is wild to me as I care way more about my bag, but I repeat, that is not Sand at all. I repeat this because people seem to be having a problem getting that). Ray then actually decided to give his rehab thing a real chance and had a breakdown in front of an imaginary Sand that actually made me cry a little. I'm not made entirely of stone, people. Just mostly.

So full disclosure, the real reason this is coming so late is that I've been hoping that the longer I wait the less irritated I'll be, but unfortunately the reverse seems to be happening. So I guess we're doing this full steam ahead (ftr, the steam is coming out of my ears).

Also once again I'm not ranking because only two characters really pissed me off this week, so we'll just ramble and then I'll put the Sand part behind a cut because he's the one I have the most feelings about this ep (and also that is where you should stop reading to avoid my apparently unpopular opinions).

Character Rambles

Atom & Cheum. I'm just gonna get these two out of the way because they are the ones that irritated me and since I've been banging this fucking drum for so many weeks that we're probably all very tired of it now. I do not know what the hell is up with this show when it comes to this stupid "Boston SAd me" plot, but I don't think I like it. Actually, I know I don't like it. I did say that I understood where Cheum was coming from in part last week and I stand by that, but the least Boston deserves from her is an apology for the way she came at him now that she knows it isn't true. But I doubt he'll get it. Or if he does it'll be the same bullshit he got from Nick - well what can you expect when you're like you are? The poor lad was just dickmatized, give him a break. NO. The idea that Boston needs to give someone e break for accusing him of rape boggles my mind, as does the constant implication that he's somehow earned all of this because he sleeps around. And no, I will never shut up about this.

I suppose at least Atom seems to realize that what he did was supremely fucked up, but I'm not sure it really matters when everyone is rushing to act like it's just one of those things that happens, and at least he learned something new about himself (looking at you, Cheum, because don't think I've forgotten you literally accused Boston of turning him gay last episode)!

I have said it before and I'm sure there will be a whole rant about it next ep, but the entire attitude towards Boston's promiscuity really puts me off. It's not the characters, either - a lot of people have some really fucked up ideas about sex and purity and morality - it's the show itself. There are ways to have the characters doing or believing things that the narrative explicitly disagrees with - hell, Jojo has done it before - so the fact that they really don't seem to be doing that here makes me feel like whoever wrote this agrees that Boston kind of deserves what he gets. And I am not a fan of that line of thinking. Even if Boston were truly as reprehensible as everyone thinks he is, it still doesn't make it right to do the things people keep doing to him. That line of thinking is insane to me. And honestly a lot of the problem I have here is that the show keeps explicitly conflating his promiscuity with being a bad person. Over and over again. It's never about the other shitty things he's done, it's always about him sleeping around. I hate it.

Boston. Since we're here, lol. I still love him. His journey has been the most fascinating one for me as we've gone on, mostly because it's been in increments. I said this last week, but Boston has been taking slow, steady steps to growth this entire time - and IMO it has very little to do with sex (but more on that later). This entire show has been a journey of Boston coming to terms with some of his less savory habits - breaking things because he can, not respecting or maybe not understanding that his way of doing things is not the only or best way, etc - and deciding how he wants to handle them.

This isn't me saying Boston is utterly wrong or whatever - you'll never hear that from me. He's an asshole in many ways though, and there is a part of him that has come to question why, and to maybe think that there is a better way of handling himself than he has been. He's also slowly gone from being very "I'm going to care about me and get mine" to thinking more about others - not saying he'll ever be the type of person that cares overmuch beyond a few set people and I don't think he'll ever stop putting himself first, nor do I necessarily think that's a bad thing, but he's definitely started to factor other people's feelings into his actions more. Maybe understanding more now that even if he's not necessarily wrong, he doesn't need to be quite so blunt force about everything. I think it's gone mostly unnoticed because there are others who are making changes with big displays, while Boston's have been almost entirely internal and only reflected on occasion through is discussions with Nick. It really struck me last episode and it continues to strike me as we go on, and I'm into it. Also Neo has just been killing this role. I can't get over how good he is.

Nick. Speaking of growing, this is the first ep where I really realized just how much Nick has done. I really hope that growth includes never bugging his fuck buddy's anything again, but I'm not entirely hopeful about that since his go to to catch Atom out in his lie was to entrap him via video recording. Sigh.

He was enjoyable for the most part this ep. I don't like him telling Boston not to be mad at Atom but I do completely understand Nick feeling some sort of kinship with him. Both of them fell for Boston after just one time, lol. That said, there was this look on his face when it was mentioned that Atom only fell for Boston because he was his first, and it makes me wonder if he was coming to a few realizations himself.

Top. TOP! I just loved him this episode. I have said before that he would be perfectly within his rights to tell Mew that enough was enough, and I was happy he did this episode. I thought he was very mature about it, actually - he knows he fucked up, he's known it pretty much since it happened and he owns that, but he's not wrong in saying that if Mew can't stop punishing him they will never work. It's very clear to me that he desperately wants it to - he is all in on Mew - but I liked that he said he'd walk away if Mew couldn't find it in him to forgive him.

Mew. I said that I understood his pettiness and I meant it, but I'm also glad it ended this episode. Look, I get the need to hurt someone who hurt you, and I very much get the petty urge to keep doing it until you're satisfied. The problem is that sometimes you just keep doing it, you push and hurt and hurt and push even past the point where it even feels good anymore because ultimately, you can't get over it, and it just breaks everything. Love and hurt and maybe a little bit of hate are warring inside Mew, and yeah, it feels good at first to hurt back.

But I think he came to the realization in this episode that his need to strike back at Top really wasn't worth losing him, because for better or for worse Mew loves him. He had to make a conscious choice this ep to actually forgive Top for what he did, and I think he rose well to the occasion. I really liked that he made sure to warn Top that he might bring it up again when they fight to hurt him - it's not pretty, but it's very self-aware, which I have come to expect from Mew. He might get hot headed sometimes but when he decides to reflect he doesn't fuck around. See too his acknowledgment that he probably won't be Top's last boyfriend, but that he wants to try with him anyway.

I also enjoyed how easily he dismissed Boeing and how little he let him get in his head, but to be fair Mew had Boeing sussed very quickly and was only ever going to entertain him right up until the point when he was no longer useful. Mew had less than zero emotional investment in that dude or his opinions once he stopped trying to flirt with Top, lol.

Boeing. Here is my conundrum with Boeing: I both love and loathe him. Honestly, he amuses the hell out of me. It should be impossible for one person to be so slimy and yet here he is doing the most constantly and it is very, very funny. The way he is merrily bouncing from couple to couple like some kind of video game boss (or the final endurance test in a stress challenge) amuses me so much and I desperately need someone more talented than I am to find a way to make it a meme. But I'm conflicted, because right now he's messing with Sand (yes SAND, that's his primary target and frankly I don't really care about Ray being collateral damage because one, he's actively making it worse and two, it feels like the rest of this fandom is doing that for me) and I have feelings about the way my favorite dude looks so miserable every time Boeing shows his smirky face (even if it is a pretty one).

Also he's basically got Ray doing the job of driving Sand away from him and he really didn't have to do much to get there. All the man had to do is make a few pointed comments and smirk and now he's got Ray doing the dirty work for him. It's amazing. I genuinely can't wait to see what he has in store for Boston and Nick (and I have my suspicions. More on that later).

Ray. He was absolutely adorable for like 95% of this episode. I really like him in boyfriend mode, lol. I also feel like he was mostly sober through the ep, too. I think that's great, and while I wish there were a little more about what he's doing to wean himself off of the alcohol, I have also come to the understanding that the show is not choosing to focus on it too much. I will just be glad they focused on it at all and move along. Honestly I should have expected it - if they were planning on dealing with Ray's alcohol problems in depth they would have started it earlier, lol.

The one quibble I have with him is at the end of the ep. While I can understand him being upset, it's pretty clear to me that so is Sand, and Ray is too focused on his own pissiness about Boeing to either see that or care if he does see it. Sorry guys I know everyone is saying it's insecurity and worry that he'll lose Sand but that just isn't what I'm getting from him at all. I don't think he thinks that Boeing is anywhere near his level or a real threat to him for Sand's affection, I think he's just pissed because Sand's not handling it the way he wants him to - which is by shutting Boeing down hard. And while I can understand and appreciate his ire, the way he's going about trying to force it is completely disrespectful to Sand. If Sand misstepped by sending Ray away to deal with Boeing on his own (which I don't really think was the horrible misstep people are making it out to be, but more on that later), then Ray is misstepping by ignoring Sand's clear wish for him not to insert himself by deliberately inserting himself and trying to provoke Sand into action.

If he's lucky it won't backfire right in his face (Ray has no fucking clue who he's playing with here, Boeing flat out does not respect Sand or his relationship and all Ray's doing here is showing his own damn belly and exposing the both of them to more mind games), but I don't think he will be.

Which brings me to the thing that has had my blood boiling since Saturday.

This is a good point to stop if you're not in the mood for half-essay, very probably half-rant.

Sand. Before I start, let me disclaim a little: I freely admit my biases here - for a ton of other people in this fandom Only Friends is The Ray Show, but for me it is and has always been All About Sand - and my own hypocrisies. I will defend Sand for things that I will not defend other characters for (although I do try hard to be as objective as possible with varied success, lol), and Ray has gotten it in the teeth from me more than once simply because he's often the character hurting my baby, possibly (probably) unfairly at times. Ray's done a lot of shit, but I admit that I see that heartbroken look on Sand's face and my objectivity tends to go out the window. It's why I understand all the posts about how much Sand sucks for the supreme crime of making Ray unhappy, but it's also why they make me furious.

I am going to pose a question here, for people that have been brave enough to read this far and who are genuinely worried that Sand and Boeing are gonna fuck: what in all the world has made you think that Sand would cheat on Ray? Is it just general fear combined with blorbo love?

Because okay I can get behind that, if so - I was utterly convinced last week that Ray and Boeing were gonna sleep together myself, and if I'm entirely honest I still expect some supreme stupidity of the Ray/Boeing kind simply because Boeing's MO seems to be going after the new boyfriend (estranged or not) after rejection - and I do NOT want to hear it about Sand not rejecting him, almost every scene that man was rolling his eyes so hard at Boeing it's a surprise that he didn't give himself a headache. He might not have been forceful enough for Ray or the fandom, but he is definitely not giving me the impression he's interested (to be fair I don't think Ray is interested either - I do, however, think he's infinitely more reactive than Sand in a lot of ways and far more likely to do some dumb, impulsive shit).

But if not that, what is it? Because there has been nothing in canon to suggest that Sand would ever, so apparently I do need it explained to me like I am five.

Maybe I'm just a little too much like Sand myself, because what I mostly saw was a guy who still has a lot of issues stemming from his previous relationship being confronted with the source of most of those emotions and doing his best to eject himself from the situation with as little conflict as possible.

And I've seen a lot of posts really taking after him for it. For being so passive, for not telling Boeing Ray's his boyfriend, for telling Ray to leave him and Boeing to talk. Hell, I've even seen people blaming him for the bullshit that is the last part of the episode, and I'm sure if Ray and Boeing do make out or (heaven forbid but I honestly won't rule it out yet) fuck, they'll find a way to make it Sand's fault, too.

And the more I read, the more annoyed I get. Not surprised, mind - I've seen too much of fandom blaming everyone else for every shitty thing Ray does (again, not saying he has no right to be upset here. I am saying, however, his way of dealing with it is likely to cause more problems) for this to be a surprise - but definitely annoyed. Because this isn't OOC for Sand, this isn't incomprehensible. This isn't some foreign, new thing that he's doing that we simply can't understand because we don't have context. This is all stuff that Sand has been doing since as early as episode two. The only difference is that this time, he's doing it for and with someone Not Ray.

Facts about Sand.

He is way way way too patient and has a tendency to bend far too often. We see this over and over and over again with Ray, well before Sand even really starts liking him much. I do think that he saw a bit of a wounded bird in Ray and wanted to help, because Sand at heart is a caretaker, a fixer, someone who needs to be needed. I'm not saying any of these are good traits - they can be, but as with anything they can be taken too far. And Sand unfortunately has a tendency to let himself be pushed well past his own limits so long as he feels like the other person needs him. I know. It sucks to realize that all that boundary pushing he let Ray do wasn't just because Ray's special. Not so cute when he's doing it with someone else, huh?

When Sand cares about someone, he does it wholly. I know a lot of people don't like to acknowledge this, but all signs point to him caring about Boeing at one point. Hell, in my opinion all signs point to him being deeply in love with him, and even though I don't believe that Sand still harbors those feelings for him, nostalgia is a hell of a drug and Boeing keeps doing his level best to bring that out in Sand. And just because he might not be in love with him anymore doesn't mean Sand can shut off his instinct to defer, to put himself aside, because that's what he does when he cares about someone. I hate to bring this up but look how much he's put up with from Ray. And while I can understand the temptation to think that Ray is the only person he'd be like that with, it was also spelled out to us in the very beginning of the episode that that's not how it is. I would wager that that's why they took the time to spell it out - so we'd understand when Boeing came along that Sand can't shut that off just because Boeing sucks.

Sand likes to operate alone, especially when it comes to his feelings. How many times has he said outright he'd handle how he feels himself? How many times have we seen him withdraw to deal with his own feelings and lick his wounds in private? Whether or not Ray wants to be there for him - and frankly I think that might be reaching, because that last scene didn't feel like it was about Sand at all to me, it was about Ray and Boeing's pissing contest - Sand has never learned to accept that kind of help. Of course he'd send Ray away to deal with Boeing's bullshit on his own. It's his mess. And to be honest, if I were Sand I'd do it too, because the last thing he needs is his sleazy ass ex on one side and Ray - who he knows can be volatile when riled up, mind, having been on the receiving end of it more than once - on the other.

And here's a fact about what went down with Boeing that everyone is choosing to ignore: he did lay down boundaries. He made zero effort to pretend to be into whatever Boeing was saying, he told him he didn't want to go to the Arctic Monkeys concert, he told him he couldn't come over and that all he could give him was friendship. He also tried to limit Boeing's access to him to YOLO only...and then Ray came in and trampled all over it. And Boeing watched him do it with a smirk, because now Ray is doing his work for him. And it looks like he'll continue doing it next episode.

I have to confess that the amount of vitriol I've seen directed at Sand for being a tiny bit messy flabbergasts me. Be honest, guys: is it because Sand is just the designated love interest to you? Because that's what it is starting to feel like. There's nothing wrong with that but knowing for sure would help my blood pressure.

Relationship Rambles

SandBoeing. I know we probably don't have time for this, but I would pay money to see a flashback of what they were like together. I already know that their relationship was very serious, at least on Sand's end and possibly on Boeing's (although I've seen enough of this man sliming around to not really buy it even if he says it, haha), but I am so so curious what their dynamic was like. Boeing's "you never yell at me" was telling, I think. But again, that's Sand all over, sigh. He'll just bottle it all up until he can't, then woe betide the person he sets his sights on.

Next ep may make me eat my words, but I say again that do not think that Sand has any lingering feelings for Boeing that would actually be a threat to his current relationship - but I do think that he has lingering feelings about what happened with Boeing that could very well threaten it. I think Boeing is mainly here to test the foundations of these couple's relationships and see how well they stand up to some huffing and puffing, but I also think (hope) that because he's so intimately tied to Sand due to their past that he will serve the same purpose as Ray and Mew's adventures in not really dating did for Ray: a way for him to get past the things keeping him from moving on with the person he wants to move on with.

I probably won't get much of this, haha. But it's a dream.

SandRay. I think I've gotten most of what I wanted to get out about these two out already. I can see this breaking really really badly. I will be disappointed if it does, but not surprised. I'm getting strong implosion vibes.

TopMew. Endgame vibes. And I am great with that because I adore them. Although them moving in together right after getting back together is a bit nuts. Slow your roll there, Topper.

BostonNIck. Saved for last because I have the most to say about them. I have to admit that they haven't been working for me as well in the past couple of episodes, and this one I was honestly really annoyed because - no points for guessing - of the monogamy stuff. One of my biggest worries as we've gone on is that the show will have Boston "redeem" himself by winding up in a monogamous relationship with Nick, and while I wasn't necessarily opposed to that if it could be done in a way that felt right for the character, I was super unsatisfied with the offer this episode.

But then I watched it again, and it hit me that Boston isn't saying forever, he's saying for now. And I can get behind that.

And then I watched it a third time because anything worth doing once is worth doing thrice. And now I've come to believe that he is mostly doing this for Nick. Because he does care for Nick a lot, but also because he's realized just how much Nick cares for him, and he's thinking to himself, "I can do this for him. I can give him this much, for now." It comes back to that whole wanting to put someone else first thing that I was talking about - it's not to pacify Nick or to make him stick around, it's genuinely (I think) because Boston cares about him and he wants to give him something he wants, something that - because it has a time limit - he thinks that he can give.

Enter Boeing.

I'm not saying that Boeing is gonna succeed in bedding Boston. I'm just saying that - fresh off of whatever happens with Sand and Ray (and regardless of what happens with the two of them as a pair, I have no doubt that it will end in Sand firmly rejecting Boeing once and for all. And unless I'm very mistaken the only interest Boeing has in Ray is to peck at Sand, so Ray will become useless to Boeing once that happens) - he's going to try it on with Boston next, and that it might make Boston and/or Nick realize a few things.

Why Nick? Because although Nick was flattered when Boston offered him the boyfriend title - flattered and pleased - he didn't accept it. I think he might, but I also can't help but wonder if they won't even get that far. Because as Nick says, he knows Boston, and maybe he knows that what Boston's offering isn't necessarily something he wants.

This is all spitballing, of course, and maybe a little bit of projection. I still think they deserve each other but I also still think Boston would do best in an open relationship and Nick...would not. One or the other of them might be able to do what the other one wants for a time, but eventually they will find themselves unable or unwilling to do it. And that would be the end.

I wouldn't mind being wrong here; this is mostly my gut speaking based on my interpretations of the characters. But if the show can convince me otherwise I'd be happy for it.

In Conclusion

My goodness, next week is the last episode. I have a nasty feeling that there will be a second season and I do not want it, nor will I be watching if it is so, so whatever happens Saturday will be how Only Friends ends for me. I'm excited and a little anxious, which is about how I've spent the majority of this show, so it's very fitting.

It feels like there's absolutely no way they have the runtime to make this work if there's no second season.

I hate it here.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings

[isfjmel-phleg]

@brown-little-robin replied to your post: last song listened to: "Extraordinary Machine" by...

Extraordinary machine!! Elystan!!! you will HAVE to expand on that at some point bc I know the song but am too 100% tired to grasp why it's a him song right now

Okay, so this is Book 3 Elystan.

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around

After the disastrous attempted coup he got mixed up in toward the end of Book 2, resulting in his narrowly escaping implication and his father being executed, he has retreated to his house in the country and basically become a shut-in. He stays in his room, stays in his bed, sees no one.

I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb But I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop changing all the time

Not literally traveling by foot, but he has physical limitations that make navigating life difficult, but he's used to that and thereby used to adapting. He thinks he's adapting well here.

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go And won't go slow, so 's not to focus, and I notice He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as They go fast from whence he came

This is Delclis, whom Elystan currently regards as his mortal enemy. From Elystan's perspective, Delclis has been keeping himself so busy with the responsibilities of being king that he has no time to focus on anything that he has left behind since taking that role. And although Elystan would probably rather die than admit to himself, that would include his relationship with Elystan. Not that Delclis ever had much time to bond with Elystan even before becoming now, but now there's nothing whatsoever between them, as far as Elystan can see, and that hurts.

"Any guide" is Delclis's Prime Minister, Sir Jowan Mitchett-Scorbrook. Elystan hates this man after a traumatic thing that Sir Jowan put him through, and he thinks that Delclis both approved that incident and is on board with Sir Jowan's agenda. Which, as far as Elystan is concerned is to completely change Delclis into a ruthless king.

But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so He can't stop staying exactly the same

Elystan knows that Delclis doesn't handle pressure well, and he believes his brother is always going to retain his worst traits. He's not adaptable, not like Elystan.

If there was a better way to go then it would find me I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

Elystan considers his response to his situation the best and most reasonable one. He is surviving, where his father tragically didn't.

Be kind to me, or treat me mean I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

And he tells himself that he doesn't care how his family treats him. He will emerge victorious. He always has.

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay

The family is getting frustrated with him for stunts like the Infamous Lamplight Letter. They want him to keep his head down and stay out of the political picture, where he can't cause any trouble.

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way and say I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

But Elystan will not be told what to do. As far as he's concerned, he's been doing this longer than Delclis (he was heir to the throne from birth, Delclis was a nobody who got the throne suddently foisted upon him).

I am the baby of the family, it happens So, everybody cares and wears the sheep's clothes While they chaperone

But because he is the youngest, the family treats him like a child (...which he still is, but don't tell him that), trying to look after him and express what he considers false concern.

Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease Courteous, to try and help But let me set your mind at ease

Again, from his perspective, the family puts on a show of solicitude while holding him in contempt for what he and his father tried to do. So he sarcastically addresses them, trying to get them off his back.

Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side? It's very kind

This is what his mother does in "A Visit from the Murderess." He is sarcastic about what he believes is false kindness--this woman allowed his father to die, after all.

But it's to no avail; and I don't want the bail I promise you, everything will be just fine

He thinks being sent to school is his alternative to prison, and he's not on board with the idea. He has his own plans, and he can look after himself "just fine" without the family's help.

...or at least that's where my brain goes. Could be a stretch! I tend to be too prone to fit songs to whoever's been on the brain recently.

#The Blackberry Bushes #Elystan Liddick

[captain-aralias]

My Year in Review (but i cut the giant gif)

summary is - my top posts this year are recs, discord links .... and a pregnancy announcement!

I posted 1,105 times in 2022

165 posts created (15%)

940 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@facewithoutheart

@cutestkilla

@artsyunderstudy

@letraspal

@forabeatofadrum

I tagged 908 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#carry on - 700 posts

#carry on fanart - 277 posts

#fic rec - 235 posts

#my content - 177 posts

#unintended - 38 posts

#snowbaz - 36 posts

#restoration ecology - 31 posts

#simon snow series - 22 posts

#doctor who - 16 posts

#sort of - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#the ones i'm disappointed with didn't quite sell the premise or i had to write them too hurriedly or forgot to bring something in

I sent 3 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

life update

i'm 14-weeks pregnant 🎉

due date: 30th may

bit more info below the cut

i thought about making a lulzy WIP wednesday post (aka, "here is what i'm working on") along these lines a few times, but i didn't want to tag anyone into personal stuff they didn't necessarily want, and also i thought i miscarried almost immediately and that started me down a spiral of anxiety, so now it's not so funny. but anyway - i thought today would be a good day to tell people, since we're out the first trimester.

how:

IVF - worked first time

my partner's egg

donor sperm - man it's weird buying sperm, particularly from america, although i only browsed. i bought from the UK. i do know men i could have asked, but in the end i thought... i dont know anyone well enough i'd want to have a child with them. at all.

happy to answer questions about any of the above, if you're interested. thinking of writing a blog about it in my work persona.

how am i?

fine apart from the anxiety!

my main symptoms have been exhaustion, leading to very little writing, and some nausea but pretty weaksauce compared to some

i've told most people at work, which is a very supportive environment, so all good.

my partner's therapist said (to her) not to make big life decisions so soon after the death of my mum/her dad on the same day about a year ago, but we are both in our mid thirties and at our most financially viable, so - hopefully it's fine.

how is baby?

probably ok! we've seen them on several scans, definitely have two arms, two legs, brain, etc

still haven't managed to do the test that tells you the likiehood of Downs etc, though, as the baby has refused to move into a position where they could get a good measurement. we may know towards the end of december - so that is making me More Anxious, but it's still fine

why am i putting this on the internet?

a few reasons.

firstly - i would've told livejournal. the same thing happened when my mum died - i wanted to tell the online community i'm part of, the same way i've told friends and people from work.

but also - because i've been saying i've been tired and that i'm not writing on here, and i wanted everyone to know... this is why. i'm not sick! i'm just pregnant.

AND ... i don't know what the next six months, and then the next.......... twenty years will be like. i'm hoping to write a few more Carry On things before the baby arrives, assuming the second trimester is less tiring (which seems likely so far), but who knows? and probably less after that. BUT WHO KNOWS.

my partner is also a fandom person. i have nine(ish) months of maternity leave (thanks, britain!) and she'll be around for most of that too, thanks to working from home. so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe i'll be writing a bunch of extremely realistic babyfics or something. probably not, but you never know.

anyway!

that's the news.

it may all still go wrong, obviously. we haven't done all the tests, still six months to go.

i'll update with these same tags, if we lose the baby for whatever reason, and i'll update if we don't!

98 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

Some 'Carry On' Recommendations for your Tuesday

here's some things i've been reading recently that i think other people should read too! thanks for tagging me @messofthejess!

N.B. this list is super long and also only scratching the surface... i should rec more often, anyway - if you see this, please read some of the things as you will really like them, and give the authors some love!

Teen or under

The Plum Tree by @otherpeoplesheartachept-2, under 1k

baz and malcolm talk (without exactly talking) about how baz is a vampire. great characterisation, really nice contained and different piece.

Eight Times Simon Couldn’t Stop Himself by knightinbrightfeathers, RainyForecast, steadfastasthouart (steadfastest) - 12k

just realised this has three authors! really brilliant fic, fangirl-era - but super worth reading, as long as you're ok with simon being smart, and also knowing he's into boys before he kisses baz. (why wouldn't you be?). this is all about simon and baz pranking each other/being generally awful, until they aren't - you see their relationship changing and simon gradually realising what he feels about baz, then there's a telepathy scene! this was recced recently in the discord* so probably lots of people have now read it, but it's seriously good!

Golden Boy by @spockzilla, 9k

magickal mishap, simon turns everything to gold by mistake! this author (also responsible for the fic where simon turns into a frog) is really good at making the silliest things sexy, and sexy things silly - which is a good thing.

end to begin by @tea-brigade, 4k

canon AU, simon and baz are exes, but simon needs baz's help..... really lovely, unusual, interesting and moving fic! i really like how it uses this inciting incident to let baz be kind (that's for me, the most important thing about them being together) and encourage the two of them to have the conversation they should have had a long time ago. works so well.

Trapped by @you-remind-me-of-the-babe based on art by taken_aback_by_Tuesdays,

penny/shepard get together, no snowbaz involved! this fic is criminally unread, because ... it's not snowbaz, but it is BRILLIANT. amazing penny and shepard characterisation, and it's so fun to see them get together a different way... that also involves her saving him.

Explicit

This Will All Go Down In Flames by @facewithoutheart with art by @tea-brigade, 11/17 chapters, 40k, WIP (no sex yet, RIP)

obsessed with this fic right now! band AU where simon and baz briefly bacame friends at school, then became incredibly successful musicians before the band broke up... because simon and baz couldn't communicate about how they fancied each other. it's great! fun, funny, social media stuff, a malcolm trying to be down with the kids, texas references, shepard being a reporter - highly recommend.

Crosse My Heart by @creepyspice with art by @cutestkilla, 5k, brobelove not snowbaz

omg, this fic is so good. seriously - even if you dont think you're into brobelove, you should read this, as i dont believe you could like snowbaz if you don't like the competitive snarky action this fic has in spades, but also if you like brobelove, my god you should read this! such amazing characterisation and super sexy.

Here in the Dark by @artsyunderstudy, 5k

love this middle of the night sex - i'm repeating my comment here, but the whole mood is perfect: confused and dreamlike, you're locked out of baz's POV, entirely in simon's and it works so well for the mood. plus, it's sexy AND there's amazing art to go with it.

Two Heads Are Better Than One by @skeedelvee, 22k

omg, i am obsessed with this fic. it's so deeply strange (simon and baz share the same body, due to - magickal mishap!) AND SO AMAZING AND SEXY. and also romantic and fun. proper enemies to to friends to lovers action, a fantastic scene where simon and baz watch baz's vanilla porn, a bit where they defeat a unicorn together, sex as one person, sex as two people - it's got it all.

*if you're not in this discord, but you'd like to be, this is the link to get in: https://discord.gg/FJ8meVhr

that's enough - i've got more i should rec, but i'll do another post later.

101 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#3

Thought it was time to bring this back. 

Discord is a chat room. This is a chat room about Carry On, etc.

Not the only one, but one of the biggest (there are 200+ members). The Discord has:

a strong, active moderator team, who make sure this is a safe space (not me, I’m just a helper)

adult-only areas, and a policy that NSFW stuff is not shared outside of these spaces

places to talk about and share fic, art, meta, fan theories, memes, etc

virtual outings, like fic readings

custom emojis

It’s very nice.

This link will get you in: https://discord.gg/8yZvQK7k 

(it expires in 7 days, so 6th May 2022, but feel free to message me if you see this post and the link’s expired)

You will have to introduce yourself before you’re given access to the server proper, although you don’t have to talk after that, if you don’t want to. You can just quietly vibe. Alternately, you can talk a lot and that’s fine too!

You will also have to sign up to the code of conduct.

If you have trouble getting in/speaking once you’re in, it could be because you haven’t verified your Discord account. There’s a clear prompt on desktop, but not on mobile.

I can confirm I checked with the mod team before making this post. It’s kosher.

Please share this post, if you want to.

108 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#2

AU - Canon Divergence Recs

i couldn't think of a good title for this, but basically there have been a few fics recently where i thought: not only is this a great fic, but also this is something i think we could see more in other fics.

basically, they all do a thing that is a good tool to make new fics with. and they're all good fun. here we go:

Eighth Year AU but with Mage-mission

Shiver (rated E) by @facewithoutheart and, yeah, ok me - but not really

for me, an eighth year fic should be about baz being gone/the coffin, magic sharing (with simon and baz much more likely, therefore to be interested in each other quicker), or the plot events of carry on - this one does that. BUT ALSO the plot is driven by simon going on a quest for the mage, which is a classic seventh year trope. cool! (and not my idea)

Post Watford Get Together with Magickal Mishap

Come As You Are (rated E) by @facewithoutheart who sponsored this video

how genius is this? they've left watford, so they've both moved on but magickal mishap happens to simon and that's the plot instigator. simple, but genius.

Genuine new past for Simon and Baz, makes them the same but different

I Know What You Are (rated T) by @martsonmars

ok, other fics have done this too, but i really like this fic and i think the way it does this thing is perfect. simon's grown up with the mage and lucy as his parents; baz has been raised by natasha and malcolm. as a result, when we meet them in eighth year they have completely different histories. it's not only the way they interact with each other that's different, they're both much more confident, have different friends. they really are different people, but the same.

Carry On universe but no Watford

Pretty in Pink (rated T) by @arca9

i was re-reading this one (fake dating heist, love it!) the other day and thinking - this is pretty unique! baz and simon work for the coven, but only just met each other when they became partners, there's no watford. but they use the magic system - it's just a really fun view on what's necessary for your AU to work.

112 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Top 10 SnowBaz fics

I was talking earlier about how 'What's Left' is one of my top 10, which it is. obviously that made me think.... what are the rest?

i think it's probably instinctively these, these ones that influence me the most/that i've re-read the most/that i most wish i could have written, although i had to delete some real favs to get down to 10, and limited myself to one fic per author. and excluded 'your bloodied mouth' as it ain't finished, but kept 'northern downpour' as i believe it will be.

almost all canon divergence, most have plot and sex.

5 Times They Half-Arsed It by @krisrix

Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl

Golden Years by @basic-banshee

keep on keeping on by waveydnp

In A Bind by @im-gettingby

Northern Downpour by @scone-lover

Remember the Magic by @sharkmartini

There'll Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath

What's Left by @cutestkilla

When the Bells Ring by @phoxphyre

360 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #carry on #fic rec #personal #aralias's baby #pregnancy #i realised replying to comments on this post that i tried not to tag people into my actual post #becuase i didnt want to force anyone to have to read my personal stuff #and this post tags SO MANY PEOPLE #because it's full of recs #hey ho #sorry about that!

[milllkaa]

About Hector and Du`met

There is a lot of text and there will probably be a lot of mistakes. I am still learning English, so please ignore that.

I think a lot about Hector having a split personality.

Yes, he had "many personalities" and still uses some of them (because they have documents and bills and stuff on them) but the main ones are Hector himself and Du`met. He kills people with all the artistry ONLY as Granthem Du`met. Take his mask off and he'll just beat you to death with his own hands, without ceremony. I think Du`met is his lifeline. Hector is so confused about himself, about what he feels and thinks, about what he does... Tired of doubting himself. And this personality, this image of Holmes. He helps him.

After all, he's not just silent, is he? He doesn't make a sound the entire game, well, except for his heavy ASMR breathing and senile grunting lol. Where I'm going with this. Granthem is literally perfect for him (remember that moment in the limo lounge). He feels no pain, he has no emotion. He doesn't make mistakes, he does everything clearly and distinctly, and never doubts himself. He creates whole plays, playing with other people's feelings, getting inside their heads, and controlling them. Well, I think you've seen it all for yourself.

But Hector… that's different. Why do I think so? Well… his face only portrays any emotion in the "good ending" where the crew sails away on the boat. It's literally the only moment where he takes off his mask and immediately shows his true nature. But once the mask is on he is calm again, as if everything is going his way.

He also does not live in his hotel. Although think about it, since he is so inspired by Holmes, why not live there like Holmes himself? But no, after his "working day", he returns to the lighthouse. Home. And I don't think the reason is his mother on the first floor. No. There's something else going on here; he wants to distance himself from his Granthem Du`met identity, at least for the duration of his nap. Beat just Hector Munday again. And even though he's kind of buried himself, literally, I think he misses his profiler life.

Because even though he clung to his job so he could... not think about certain things in his life, neglecting sleep and food. He still loved his job. And it's pretty obvious he was...perfect for it in a way. Yes, and if the job was just for him to tick off, he wouldn't have been able to make such a success of his career. That's why he continues to live in the lighthouse.

And that picture of his eyes, thank you so much again @mia-cot! Now I can say with certainty that he continues to sleep badly, he is clearly plagued by nightmares. Since Hector has made a separate person (Du`met) of all his "bad" qualities, only the "good" is left in him. I'm generalizing, of course, so you can see where I'm going with this. That is why at this stage there is nothing we can do to help him. There is the perfect killer and just a man in every sense - Granthem Dumet. And there's the poor, battered kid who just wanted to live a normal life. Hector. And oh honestly, I've really been thinking about this for so long… These are just my thoughts that I wanted to share with you. And I'd love to hear what you think about it.

I always thought it was a little strange. Even though Hector buried himself, completely abandoning his past life, he still kept many of his things from his past. Even his birth certificate, his doctor's notes… the school principal's address to his mother. The invitation to the funeral. He saved all these things that hold important memories of his life. Every turning point. He kept it all because he never could give it up. No matter how much his mother mocked him, no matter how much his classmates mocked him, and no matter how much he suffered from his job. He still kept it all.

And why the fuck would they make such a sad story for a serial killer? Did they really think I would be able to hate him after all this information? I can't stop analyzing his condition, and his actions, I literally turn a blind eye to his unstable psyche and aggression, to the fact that he is a killer. Because it's not his fault. Fate was just laughing in his face, stabbing him in the back. But he continued to be "normal." He did everything to restrain himself, and his impulses. He was well aware of what was happening to him, imagine how bad it was for him to realize that. He couldn't help himself. But he couldn't ask for help either. He would lose his job, and work was everything to him. He knew what was going to happen and he just… accepted it. Sherman broke him down just in time.

He's not just a psychopath with a lust for murder. He is a man who has been bullied and kicked all his life, and I can't blame him for all the anger, all the negativity that he just couldn't contain anymore.

Oh, this was a VERY big post, I hope you had fun reading it. And maybe you found something interesting for yourself.

#granthem du'met #hector munday #tdim #dark pictures the devil in me #text post