lonelier-version-of-you

[lonelier-version-of-you]

If sleeping for a whole day were, like, practically feasible and healthy I think it would fix me.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I'd rant more, but I don't have the time, lol.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

The way Casualty has been treating Teddy with the fightclub story is something I really don't like. Teddy wouldn't get involved with a fight club, it feels like a strawman saying "look what happens if Teddy tries to want agency, he ends up getting himself and other people hurt!!". It feels like fanfiction that Gaynor would write in her head to justify trying to keep Teddy dependent on her because he "can't be trusted on his own", if anything. I hate how the show seems to have taken Gaynor's perspective on Teddy now.

#BBC Casualty #Theodore Gowan

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Okay, now that I finally have the energy to comment, I want to say: that BBC site spoiler for next week that says Iain "discovers Teddy's secret" is worrying me.

I really, really hope the secret Iain finds out about is "only" (quotation marks because it's not like it's not a big deal) that Teddy's going to the fight club. I think it probably will be, thank goodness - I think Casualty will probably end up using "everyone is angry at Teddy for going to the fight club" to isolate him even more for a while. But even then... I'm not looking forward to seeing Iain "save Teddy from himself" by holding off a bunch of blokes at the fight club or something, taking all the focus off of Teddy and onto Iain's heroics, which I expect to happen because when is Iain getting involved with something not building up to him playing the hero?

Iain and Teddy don't really know each other. They work together, but that's about it. I don't see any reason for Iain to get involved. I like him as a friend to Jacob but I don't want him to drag himself into the terrible idea from the off that is the fight club storyline and make it all even less about Teddy.

#Casualty spoilers #BBC Casualty #Theodore Gowan

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I'm just incredibly tired of feeling like garbage. I don't even remember when the last time I felt well would have been.

#personal tag #sorry for all the venting lately. i promise there will be fandom thoughts later

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I feel somewhat less horrible and rubbish, so that's something. Mostly I just feel very, very sleepy.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I hate how when I'm feeling awful, I then start feeling awful about feeling awful.

I mostly mean this emotionally but feeling ill isn't exactly making things any better either.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I really wanted to write today, but instead, I've ended up feeling so ill that it's pretty much off the table. I can hardly even think. Argh.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Don't mind me if I'm not very coherent, I'm in a ranting mood is all.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

The Sahira/Henrik situation did need to be dealt with again, I think. For a very long time I wished for a storyline where she would come back and Henrik would apologise - because that is the very least he should do. Not necessarily for her to forgive him because she is not obliged to, but for her to get closure.

And I get that "one of the main characters who has been around for years and formed many positive relationships with other current characters, also happens to be an abuser" is a situation that raises a lot of very difficult questions. The question of how to deal with it, and the further questions of "Can an abuser ever really change? Should they, or can they even, be forgiven if they really do regret what they did - as Henrik does?" involved in touching on Henrik's behaviour toward her, aren't easy to deal with. But Holby should have at least tried.

I'd have preferred Holby to try to deal with what Henrik did and handle it clunkily, than to pretend he never did it at all and pretend Sahira's trauma doesn't matter.

Remember when Holby portrayed Sahira as the victim of abuse she was and recognised how horrible it was of Henrik to treat her that way?

#tw;abuse

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Remember when Holby portrayed Sahira as the victim of abuse she was and recognised how horrible it was of Henrik to treat her that way?

#tw;abuse mention

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Oddly enough I think the way Henrik ran Holby, and the reasons why I think Casualty needs to say that he no longer is, actually makes for a perfect example of Holby's increasing ludicrousness: he's just about always been an incompetent, awful boss, but he used to be a realistically incompetent, awful boss.

Early Henrik almost let Darwin get closed, was terrible to women, was outright creepy to the married woman he'd been mentoring for decades and basically tried to manipulate her into a relationship with him, was very much classist, tried to get a bunch of people sacked basically because he could, let things like the non-referral scheme go ahead which patients suffered for... but he was portrayed as unsuited to being in charge, and all of that is believable enough as something a terrible boss might do. A lot of them are things I can see Patrick doing, and his presence doesn't ruin this storyline.

But in later Holby, Henrik was letting serial killers (well, sort of; I suppose John isn't technically a serial killer - though not for lack of trying so I don't say that to excuse him, I say it out of pedantry) run around. He didn't learn from a single mistake he made with John, either - he almost immediately hired Cameron and ignored any woman speaking up against him. The Cameron situation is actually even less understandable: John was the love of Henrik's life so one can see why Henrik would defend him, but Cameron? Why did Henrik let that happen? Was it just pure spite toward women or something?? And then he let Cameron come back to be a patient. It's an absolutely ridiculous level of incompetence, and somehow, he was painted as the only person who should run Holby like all the time! Characters who pointed out that he's a liability were villainised for doing so! If anything he's the absolute last person who should be in charge.

If Henrik were still his first-stint self I'd be fine with him being involved now. If everything with Gaskell had stuck to the unethical medical practice element (like it ought to have) and the Cameron mess hadn't happened at all, maybe even then I'd be fine with it.

But as it stands - for the sake of maintaining a modicum of the ability to comment on these topics, Casualty needs Henrik to have left.

I end up feeling a bit sorry for Casualty every time there's another whistle-blower/"look at the state of the hospital" type of storyline, because... they always feel so ridiculous now - to me, at least - and it's not Casualty's fault. It's Holby's.

Holby's drama became so incredibly heightened and unbelievable, having people such as John Gaskell and Cameron (Dunn, not Mickelthwaite) working there almost constantly, and now any serious social commentary Casualty tries to do is left with an overtone of "well, of course Holby is in a mess, look at the people Henrik keeps hiring". That's one reason I think Casualty needs to say that Henrik has left - if he hasn't, then all the problems look like they're merely the result of his incompetence in running the hospital with no need for any other factors to be considered. It doesn't feel comparable to anything that could happen in a real-world hospital at all.

And while it doesn't exactly raise questions of "why hasn't anyone done this sooner" - because various Holby characters, mostly women, did try to blow the whistle when John and Cameron were around - it does make it feel less serious, because IMHO Holby didn't quite treat any of those whistle-blowers seriously. For one thing: doing so might mean having to point out Henrik's misogyny, after all, and Holby basically treated Henrik as perfect by the end.

Obviously, Casualty does see this as a serious, realistic matter. And it is - it's very different to the situations I mention from Holby. But... IDK, it's just sad how Holby's mistakes still get in the way of things even with Holby no longer on the air.

#Holby City #tw;abuse mention #because of the henrik/sahira thing

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I hate how under the weather I've been feeling lately. I'm sure I'll be alright, it's just very inconvenient.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Oh, and I think this also means it's the eleventh anniversary of Dominic making his first appearance (though he was only a shortterm character back then, lol... and was also horrible to Malick). It's fun to me when these character anniversaries are on the same day.

I knew there was something significant about today and I've just remembered what: it's the fifth anniversary of when Kian joined Holby!

Oh, Kian, a character with fantastic potential. I can't really say that that potential was ever used, but it was definitely there.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I knew there was something significant about today and I've just remembered what: it's the fifth anniversary of when Kian joined Holby!

Oh, Kian, a character with fantastic potential. I can't really say that that potential was ever used, but it was definitely there.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I'm absolutely exhausted again and I hate it. I have like, no energy.

#personal tag

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I'm having the "I have the energy to write but not the time" problem again.

#personal tag