#although im pretty sure im not the first one to invent them obviously i think its a pretty obvious toddy sapphic ship choice

[bi-demon-ium]

okay this is just me trying to talk my way through my feelings about garrison in circles

im going to be honest but i. kind of hate dr garrison a bit. (dodges rocks and tomatoes being thrown at me) LISTEN LISTEN

it's not that she isn't an interesting character (she is) or even that she isn't sympathetic at all i just. i don't know. she's so... contradictory. one second she's hemming and hawing about the morality of brainsweeping people with tech she handed over (and giving in every time) and the next she's a-okay with kidnapping children and experimenting on them for the sake of science. she's totally fine with that, and she tells herself she's a good person and it's okay because it's not like she's KILLING the child or anything but also she's totally fine with the brainsweeping itself ("no more annoying side effects ugh. anyway :)") it's the "dangerously" applying it in a way that could more physically damage them that she objected to. as if getting your life erased and taken away isn't damaging.

and like, i know i'm being kind of biased here--curtain also does these things, and i find myself (to my own annoyance) sympathetic with him and liking him anyway, and like. if we're going to talk about knowing something is wrong and feeling guilty but doing it anyway, one could get into mr benedict's past (although i'd still argue tooth and nail he didn't do anything Wrong persay, he just had no correct choices, which is not the case with dr garrison, but still) and she is actively being manipulated by curtain, to which we have no idea the exact extent particularly pre-canon.

but i just. i don't know. something about her flip between playing the good guy/victim forced into bad guy things in s1 (protesting at the ethics but never doing anything or showing even the slightest hint of truly objecting, just sort of giving a token protest, one even curtain mocks) to the weird cold supervillain vibe in the s1 finale to her more unhinged behavior in s2 where she's. well she's less guilty and more angry and bitter and despairing. like i don't think she's necessarily like "oh god i did so many bad things under him" so much as "i could be a famous scientist right now but i'm holed up in a depression cellar with the turnips. because that BITCH took my tech. augh." and she's, again, fully willing to kidnap, threaten, experiment on, and brainsweep a child.

like curtain, while he was definitely in denial about being a good guy, wasn't really playing the "oh noo im being forced to do bad things", he was deluding himself into believing they weren't bad. even though that's obviously. also bad. dr garrison was never in denial. she was just like... i want to say cowardly, but i'm not sure that's even it. i think she just lacked conviction. care. her priorities were science and herself (although i think science came first) and if she's the one who invented the brainsweeper and/or the whisperer, as is strongly implied, than she's been helping him do this for ten years or more. and that's not to say she wasn't being manipulated, too, it's pretty clear he had a hold over her, but like. i don't know. something about the way she specifically behaves just puts me off her.

that being said, i think i am being biased, too, and it's not like i hate hate her. but she might be one of if not my least favorite characters in the show in terms of like, liking them as people. (she is, however, a very interesting character.)

#dr garrison #the mysterious benedict society #mbs disney #I DUNNO I JUSTH AVE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT HER I KEEP GOING IN CIRCLES #tomorrow i might be like actually nvm all that i blame curtain #although even when i dont like her.... yeah she does deserve to run curtain over with a golf cart though.

[dracowars]

Hii! So i have seen that your request is currently open! Also that you are kind of new here (i guess? Idrk)! I was wondering if i could request one? The story goes like draco pulls a prank on y/n (any kind really its up to you!) then later on showers her with his love (gift too because we all know he got the ✨ money money ✨ so thats it! (Its very fluffy im sorry) i hope you can do it totally alright if you cant tho!! I hope to see more of your works! God Bless💗

fun and games | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,3k

summary: where draco takes pranking y/n too far

a/n: thank you so so much for requesting! <3 since this is my first ever request i'm a little bit nervous >.< i really hope that you like it and that it lives up to your expectations! i feel honored that you trusted me with your request even though i'm still pretty new on here ♡

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

You can't remember when it started, you only know that it did and that it slowly starts to annoy the hell out of you. Not because you don't understand fun, you really do, but you can't even spend a quiet minute with your boyfriend Draco anymore since he started acting like Fred and George Weasley, always pulling a prank on you with every possibility he got.

Some of those were actually funny and made you laugh, but at some point it just got too much. Every time you are with him now, you expect something to happen. Whether it is that he calls you to him to show you fantastic beasts that do not exist, making you look like a fool while he laughs, or that he hides two of your belongings somewhere around Hogwarts, telling you that it is actually three objects that you then have to search for like crazy. He even gave you Veritaserum once, just to ask you an endless number of questions which you inevitably had to answer. All of that you already went through. But today was somewhat different.

Draco did not pull a prank on you for weeks now, which you can not complain about at all, in fact you are quite happy about it. After his last prank you asked him to finally stop and it seems like he listened to you. Still, something feels very weird.

You haven't seen Draco today, which is rather unusual for you and your relationship because neither of you can last longer than a few hours without the other. You have just come out of your Defense Against the Dark Arts class and look around the hallway, expecting to spot him somewhere, while your classmates walk past you to head to their break. Usually, Draco always picks you up after class so that you can spend time together until your next course. But you don't see him anywhere today.

At the end of the hallway you spot Fred and George trying to sell one of their newest and greatest inventions to a first-year. You shake your head and roll your eyes. These two are probably responsible that your boyfriend had his prank phase, even though he absolutely despises every Weasley. Of course Draco would never admit it, but you think that he copied a lot from them.

"Leave the poor child alone, Weasley's", you tell them while passing them, not wanting to wait longer for Draco to pick you up. Regrettably you shouldn't have opened your mouth because all of a sudden they apparate in front of you out of nowhere, making you flinch and taking a step back. "What, Y/N? Did I hear you correctly?", George says, wiggling his eyebrows at Fred. "You really want to test our new creation?", Fred adds with a smile.

"No, thank you. I've had enough of pranks lately", you assure them with a forced smile. Obviously offended by your statement, the red haired twins cross their arms over their chest, giving you a disapproving look before vanishing again. Shaking your head, you make your way to your common room, hoping to meet Draco on the way there. Unfortunately, that does not happen and you slowly start to have a bad feeling. Where is he?

Once you arrive in the dungeons, you say the password and enter the common room, which is cosy warm in contrast to the cold corridors outside. After all, it's winter; what else should you expect from the temperature? Several Slytherin's buzz around, sitting at the green fire or studying at the tables. But still, no sign of Draco.

You spot Crabbe and Goyle on one of the sofas, who have their eyes focused on you. As soon as they realize that you look back at them, they burst into giggles and look away as if nothing happened. Their weird behavior lets you frown in confusion. Before you can confront them about it, Pansy suddenly appears right in front of you and thus into your field of vision.

"Y/N! We want to go down to the lake in a few minutes. It's frozen solid for the first time this year! Do you want to join us?", she offers, her outfit already perfectly adapted to the cold temperature outside. "Do you know where Draco is?", you blurt out, not answering to her question at all. "No? Why would I?", Pansy responds irritated.

You loudly breathe out. "Nevermind. Enjoy your trip to the lake", you wish her and give her a small smile, then walk past her and towards your room in the girls' dormitories. You don't miss the look that Crabbe and Goyle give you as well as their giggles when you make your way out of the big room though.

While walking your gaze falls on something laying on the ground and you immediately stop in your tracks abruptly. You bend down and pick it up in amazement, a now much bigger smile forming on your lips. In your delicate hand you're now holding a rose petal. Looking in front of you, you notice more rose petals on the floor. They seem to show you the way to your room.

It must have been Draco, he definetely wants to surprise you after a stressful day, you are sure about that. Quickly and with unbelievable enthusiasm you follow the path to your closed door. You imagine how you will open the door and come into your room, there will be a romantic atmosphere with warm candlelight and Draco will lovingly greet you, hug you and kiss you until-

SPLASH

You have just opened the door when suddenly a huge mass of cold water falls down on you, completely soaking you from head to toe. Because of the shock and the sudden coldness surrounding you, you gasp for air. In front of you, you do not see your desired romantic atmosphere or any candles, but only your laughing boyfriend.

"I got you again!", Draco rejoices and praises himself while you can only watch him in shock. You look down at yourself and lift one of your feet out of the puddle beneath you which you are now standing in. Water drips from your hair and your uniform to the floor. Your boyfriend's cheeky laugh echoes in your ears. Slowly your whole body begins to tremble, although you are not sure wheather it comes from the cold water or from the anger boiling up inside of you.

Assuming that you find the successful prank as funny as he does, he keeps laughing, not noticing your anger yet. "Fred and George did the same prank with Weaselbee the other day, so I had to try it out as well. It worked! Crabbe and Goyle helped me set it up and-"

"I hate you so much!", you scream at him angrily, no longer able to keep your anger under control. Draco's expression falls immediately, obviously not expecting this kind of a reaction. You are still stiffly standing under the door frame, stretching your arms away from your body to somehow escape the extreme cold, water still running down, even under your clothes. "Why do you never know when it's time to stop?! I thought you wanted to surprise me!"

A little taken aback, Draco slowly approaches you while you are busy with wringing out your wet hair. "Don't you dare touch me now, Draco Malfoy!", you command and he obeys your words, stopping a few inches in front of you. "Love, it was just supposed to be fun..", he mumbles dejected, insecurely rocking back and forth on his feet, slowly realizing his mistake.

"Yeah, of course. For you it's always all fun and games until someone dies!", you angrily rebuke him. "I'm completely wet, I'm damned cold, as if it wasn't already cold enough outside, and all I wanted is to spend a relaxing and nice afternoon with my boyfriend who, as always, only got nonsense in his mind and not thinks about his girlfriend's feelings!", you complain, getting rid of your wet cloak while bumping into him with your shoulder as you walk past, throwing it onto your bed. You sit down next to it on the soft mattress and take off your soaking wet shoes as well. For a few minutes there is nothing but silence between you two.

"Y/N..", Draco breaks the silence, but you just shoot him a scathing glance, your lower lip now trembling from the coldness surrounding your body. "I don't want to hear anything, Draco. Really", you scoff and roll your eyes, standing up to finally get out of your uncomfortable clothes. "Can you leave, please? I want to change", you ask him reproachfully, but he doesn't move a single bit.

"I'm responsible for this so let me help you, okay? I'm sorry", he says, sincerity in his sad voice. You can't even answer him as he already pulls out his wand and casts a spell you don't recognize. The puddles on the floor disappear and your clothes are suddenly dry again. All that is left is the unbearable cold around you. Freezing, you draw your cloak tighter around you and give Draco a very small but thankful smile.

He looks at you thoughfully before spreading his arms to invite you into a warm hug, which you gladly accept. Even though you're mad at him, he still manages to make you soften again. You wrap your arms tightly around his waist and he gently strokes your back with one hand in hopes to warm you up at least a little bit, then places a gentle kiss of the top of your head and hugs you even tighter, pulling you closer to his much warmer body. He can clearly feel your body tremble against his. "I'm really sorry, love. I hope you can forgive me for my stupid behavior..", he breathes into your ear, loosening your arms around his waist to take your ice-cold hands in his.

He closely examines your face, searching for any hint of what your answer could be like. No longer able to resist his pleading stare and shimmering gray eyes, you slowly nod to assure him that you will forgive him. Of course you will; you love him way too much to let something this silly destroy your relationship. More than happy with your answer, he cups your cheeks between his hands, his silver ring coldy pressing against your skin, and gives you a loving kiss.

"I will make up for it, I promise", he speaks against your lips after you broke the kiss, his thumb caressing your lower lip softly. "As long as you stop those stupid pranks, idiot", you roll your eyes, still feeling a tiny bit upset about the incident. A little chuckle escapes his lips and he pulls you close against him again. "Let's warm you up first, hm?", Draco whispers and before you know it he has apparated both of you back into the common room. Because everyone left to go to the lake you're now completely alone in the big room.

Without your consent, Draco pulls you onto one of the couches near the fireplace so you can warm up. With the help of a spell, he increases the flame a little more. Out of nowhere he throws you a fluffy, thick blanket and wraps you in it, your body now slowly but surely heating up.

While you're still busy making yourself comfortable, Draco extinguishes all the lights in the room except for a few candles, which dip the quiet room into a soothing light, creating a relaxing atmosphere for you two.

"Are you feeling warmer already? Do you need something else? What about a hot chocolate?", he questions you, still feeling extremly horrible for what he made you go through. "A hot chocolate sounds very nice, actually", you accept his offer, deciding to take advantage of the situation, innocently smiling at him. It does not even take him one single second and he suddenly vanishes into thin air. Shaking your head but smiling to yourself you watch the flame in the fireplace while you wait for him to return.

To your amazement, it takes him a lot longer than you expected and that just for a simple hot chocolate. After about a quarter of an hour he pops up again in front of you all of a sudden, two steaming cups in his hands. He serves you your hot drink with a cheeky smile on his face. "As requested: one perfectly hot chocolate, but not nearly as hot as you", he winks at you before making himself comfortable next to you.

"What took you so long?", you ask and take a sip, skillfully ignoring his statement. "Had to.. run a few more errands, you know. I'm a very busy man", he smirks at you, holding the, in his hands much smaller looking, cup. You look at him in disbelief and then discover a few white spots on his uniform that make you raise your eyebrows in confusion. "It's snowing outside?", you question and point to the snowflakes on his cloak that are slowly melting in the warm room. "Care to explain why you were outside?"

"Uh, well.. I just wanted to please my lovely girlfriend", he explains and takes something out of his pockets. You immediately know what it is and sit up excitedly, but before you can grab it, you pull your hand back. "That's not another one of your pranks, is it?", you pout and look in his eyes for an answer, any sign that this really is just normal candy from Honeydukes and not some experiments he bought from Fred and George.

"Come on, Y/N! They are not poisoned. Eat now or I froze myself to death out there for nothing", Draco assures you and you decide to trust him, carefully opening the candy, revealing the actually normal, delicious sweets that you love so much. Happily eating them you don't even notice at first how Draco keeps staring at you, one of his fingers nervously tapping the rim of his cup.

"Y/N?", Draco finally clears his throat, sitting up straight while you look at him with big expectant eyes. The way he pronounces your name, how the letters roll of his tongue create goosebumps all over your skin, causing you to cuddle up more into the cozy blanket, waiting for him to continue. His gaze wanders back and forth between you and his warm drink, of which he has not drunk very much yet.

He opens his mouth to say something again but notices the goosebumps on your arm, the alarm bells in his head loudly going off immediately. "Are you still cold? Wait a second!", Draco tells you, without waiting for an answer, and jumps up, running to his prefect room and coming back a few seconds later to give you one of his green Slytherin sweaters. "Here. Put it on, it will warm you up", he commands and examines you carefully as you pull it over your head, the pleasant scent of his perfume clouding your senses instantly.

Your cheeks turn a little bit red, on the one hand because of the extreme warmth that now surrounds you and on the other hand because Draco gives you such a sweet and tender look, as if you are the most beautiful and precious being in this world; which, in fact, you definetely are to him. He moves closer to you and puts his arm around your shoulders so that you can lean against his chest and snuggle up to him. Draco gently runs his fingers over your hair, over your cheeks and to your chin, which he slightly lifts up, making you look at him.

Neither of you say anything for a while, you just look each other deep in the eyes. Draco brushes one strand of hair behind your ear that fell into your face and slowly leans in. You close your eyes, waiting for him to connect your lips, but he teasingly stops shortly before, his breath fanning against your skin. "I have something for you.. as an apology", he gently whispers and you open your eyes in surprise. "You don't have to give me anything, Draco. I've already forgiven you, you know that", you smile at him, cupping one of his cheeks which makes him smile.

He takes your hand in his and squeezes it lightly, kisses your knuckles and then shakes his head with a sigh. "I know. Still, I feel bad and want to give you something. Something very meaningful and significant", he declares, reaching into his pocket once again. Eventually, his secrecy makes you kind of curious anyway and you look at his hand eagerly, waiting to see what the gift will be.

Draco pulls out a small black box covered in velvet. Your curious gaze focuses on the box, which contents are still unknown to you until he finally opens it and reveals a beautiful, gold shimmering and, above all, quite expensive looking necklace. Small moons and stars hang on it, but the real focus of the indescribably lovely piece of jewelry is in the middle. The bigger splendid pendant attached to it is none other than his name, Draco, written in an artistic curved font. Overwhelmed, your mouth drops open.

"Actually, I wanted to give it to you for our anniversary this year, as a thanks for sticking around with me for so long, no matter how stupid and silly and annoying I was. Somehow it just felt like the right moment to give it to you now", Draco explains in a calm voice, no sight of the silly boy from a few hours ago, and takes the necklace out of its box, gesturing that you should turn around so he can carefully place it around your neck. He leaves a few butterfly kisses along your neck before you turn around to him again, immediately touching the pendant with your fingertips, slightly pressing it against your soft skin.

"I thought I would give you my first name as long as I can't give you my last", Draco smiles timidly, a tear escaping from the corner of your eye as you pull him into a tight embrace. "D-Draco.. I don't know what to say.. I love you so much", you sob into his neck, placing a kiss right there. His arms wrap around you and he breathes out contentedly and somewhat relieved. "I was afraid that you would reject me..", he whispers nearly inaudible, more to himself than to you.

"I would never even think about rejecting you! But do you really promise that you will make it come true, Draco? That you will give me the honor to receive your last name?", you ask seriously, retreating a bit so you are able to look at his handsome face. A smile creeps its way onto his lips at your so serious but also hopeful facial expression. "I don't want anything more in my life than that, darling", Draco clarifies honestly and then takes the pendant with his name on it between his thumb and index finger. "This is a promise", he repeats softly and gives you a quick but loving kiss.

Despite the short kiss, you feel a pleasant warmth inside of you and the butterflies flutter around in your stomach. You put your hands around his neck and can't help but grin brightly, trying to hide it by biting down on your lower lip. Immediately, Draco's thumb comes up to your lip and stops you from doing so, looking back and forth between your shiny eyes and plump lips.

The next kiss you share is so passionate and with so much love that you forget everything around you in a matter of seconds, fading out your surroundings. Now, there is only you and Draco. And a promise that you hold close to your heart.

#draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x reader #draco x female reader #draco x reader #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #draco imagine #draco malfoy oneshots #draco malfoy headcanon #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter x reader #hp imagine #hp imagines

[stalksbyakuyatogami]

Oh my god, successfully summoning an ancestor with the V3 boys was amazing! Thank you so much! Could you do the same thing with the V3 Girls (exept Kaede because she is in your Blacklist)?

Summoning An Ancestor With V3 Girls!

aaaaaaaaaaa!! thank you anon!! im glad you liked it :))

warning: might be a long read

Himiko Yumeno

•You thought you'd excite her? The opposite. Sure, she always bragged about her magic, but she's actually all bark no bite. Just when you thought her magic would finally be put into use. She even refused doing it when she heard the ancestor part. There's no way in hell that she'd want to witness a phantom in this school. Especially at the third floor. But by some miracle and bribery, you managed to drag her in.

•She was slightly quivering just by the ambience of the room. It was a bit dark, just lit up by a few candles that barely even did their job. Although, she was curious of all the things that you had laid out. She would take a few glances on it every second, not sure if to feel fear or curiousity.

•When the spirit appeared, all she could do was tearfully and fearfully watch the ascending spirit. She was frozen in place. She might be fearing it, but she also thought that it was awesome. If she was a mage, she could do this all the time.

•She just stood there the whole time you talked to your ancestor. She ahd questions of her own, but she's just trying to bottle them all up, hoping that you'd miraculously ask them. As if channeling her thoughts you.

•After you were done, she was speechless. She was trying to process everything that just happened. She asked you if she can ask some questions too next time. Let her ask please xD.

Kirumi Tojo

•She's intrigued. It's the first time that she's having this request... but it's more like a favor. Same thing right? She'd like to see a spirit too. She might use this information someday, who knows. She agreed.

•She looked at all the things you had on the floor. Very dangerous. So she would guide you on how to use it properly. You might mess something up, but she's there to help.

•She was on alert when you started chanting unfamiliar words, but she remained calm and rational. Her hand will be ready to grab yours in case you had to flee. Your ancestor appeared earlier than you expected. She took just a step back when the spirit emerged. Intimidated by the spirit, she suggested that you two get out. But when the spirit spoke that you two can stay, she calmed down, but of course she's still on guard.

•While you conversed with your ancestor, she was observing it. Trying to identify which century they came from. She was trying to figure out if she would know how to serve them if they were still alive. Disregarding that, she's behaved and formal towards the spirit. She kept quiet the whole time and had her hands on top of the other, listening to the whole conversation.

•When you ended the session, she exhaled a breath of relief and congratulated you for doing a great job handling the spirit. There was something bugging her mind and you couldn't figure out what that was. But she reassured you that it was nothing. She agreed to come again the next time you perform another summoning.

Angie Yonaga

•This actually piqued her interest. She might  be an artist, but she also takes interest in occult. So obviously, she's agree with you right away. She's excited, to be honest. But first, you'd hold a prayer to Atua. Pray for it to be successful. You couldn't escape her, so you just joined her, or you waited until she finished.

•She was humming while you two were heading for the room. When she saw your materials, her interest shot up. She even asked you if you needed a pint of blood because she'll get it right away. You tell her that a pint is not needed. In fact, you didn't need anything that was out of this room. Everything necessary is already here.

•She was a bit disappointed when no spirit appeared 8 seconds after you called it. And she presumed that maybe Atua didn't like this time and day fir the summoning. She would take her words back when it finally appeared. Amazement was glossing her eyes. How amazing Atua is.

•She was the one to ask questions first. What can you do? She's hella curious! The phantom was overwhelmed with the questions and eventually stopped answering them. She promised to keep quiet while you asked for advice but only if you'll let her ask more questions when you finish. She hummed while you communicated so it was kinda distracting. She's just excited give her a break xD.

•When you two were finished, she gave you her insight and told you that it was an amazing experience! She would love to do it with you again. She might just summon Atua next time!

Maki Harukawa

•Maki gave you a questioning look. What? A summoning? You seriously believe in that? That's nothing but a wishful thinking. But seeing that you insist so bad, she had no choice but to come with you. She just wants your mouth to shut up, so she agreed.

•The materials you had were pretty unfamiliar to her considering she's an assassin. She thinks this is all just bullshitry, nothing more. She has to put up with it though. She actually helped you do the methods, correcting whenever you get something wrong.

•Maki got tired of waiting after 10 seconds. "I already told you. This is not working." Which she'd immediately take back. The phantom loomed over you two. She creased her eyebrows. She still can't believe. But she had no choice but to suck it up. She nervously swallowed and grabbed something that wasn't there; a weapon.

•She stood there, despising the phantom a bit, but still listened to what it said. She didn't have her personal questions; regarding the killing game that is. She had all the questions on her mind. Who? What? Why? How? HOW?! She was making a weird face that slightly disturbed the spirit.

•When you finished the session, she told you how weird that experience was. But she's relieved that you got some advice from them. Might not go with you the next time. Not because she's terrified of the ghost. She thinks it's hella weird and it sends a shiver up her spine.

Tenko Chabashira

•"S-s-summoning?! Thats kinda... new..." She's a bit creeped out. Just the thought of seeing a ghost is enough to make her cringe. She asks you if you're sure. Just in case you change your mind, she'd still be supporting you.

•You led her up to the third floor of the school. She was a bit fidgety and she always asks you if you'd change your mind right now. She was shocked of all thr items in the room. She was alarmed and posed defensively. She had no idea how all of these work, so she read the instructions on the book and helped you even just a little bit.

•She was actually relieved that your ancestor didn't appear... yet. The relief immediately went away when the translucent spirit came to... life. How ironic. She was actually terrified of the spirit now. She hidea behind your back, promising to defend you if anything happens.

•She was behind you the whole time you talked. She wouldn't dare utter a word. But maybe she'll sneak her catchphrase in when your ancestor is male. She watched the spirit with anxious and confused eyes.

•She was extremely relieved when you were done. It was like getting rid of the thorn on her side. She felt easy again. I doubt that she'd go with you the next time... That was terrifying. Who knew spirits were real?

Miu Iruma

•She's quite disgusted of the thought. You still believe in those things at your age? Pathetic. Believe in technology instead! Now come here and let me test this new invention of mine! Its functions are—! She agreed to join you. But just for research purposes and future references. Decided to make an impromptu camera to tape the summoned spirit. That might just be a breakthrough.

•She was full of complaints during your trip. She held her camera to where all the necessary objects for the ritual was placed. Istg she might be doing a documentary. Bad commentator I would say. She dissed all the objects that you had laid out. What the hell, man? She didn't help you. She just picked these up and observed it through the camera. She filmed your process.

•She was impatiently waiting for the ghost to appear. She was about to turn her camera off when she heard the phantom's booming voice. She cowered in fear, almost dropping her camera. She hid behind your back, whimpering.

•She watched your ancestor fearfully while you asked questions. She would mutter unholy things under her breath and you would be distracted by that. Like, do souls have pps or something of the sort.

•She only filmed half of the thing. Let's just hope that that ghost and the audio show up in the recordings. She wouldn't accompany you ever again. That shit was terrifying.

Tsumugi Shirogane

•She was excited. But of vourse, she evaluated everything before she agreed with you. Summoning was both heart-throbbing and curious for her. So obviously, she wouldn't back out.

•She was quiet during the trip to the third floor. But she certainly had a smile on her face and stars for eyes. She was intrigued with all thr object you had laid out. She even grabbed one and tried to run it across her skin. But for safety purposes, yo told her to stop as it would ruin the ritual. She gladly obliged. She still observed the objects very closely though.

•She was starting to sigh as 8 seconds rolled by and nothing came out of your ritual. Just as she was about to leave, she squeaked at the spirit's frightening voice. She went back to her place and quietly apologized while she had her head down.

•She was just there... with her sparkling eyes boring into the summoned soul. She had all sorts of questions, and her face was turning pink. Probably from excitement. She had to bottle up all those questions too.

•After the session, she was too awestruck to utter a single word. She had sparkles in her eyes and her hands were merged together. She grabbed yours and enthusiastically said, "Let's do it again next time, S/O!"

I'll fix the errors later. Thank you for requesting, anon.

-Mod Toko [Maki Shift]♡

#danganronpa #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa x reader #ndrv3 killing harmony #ndrv3 #ndrv3 x reader #ndrv3 imagines #ndrv3 girls #himiko yumeno #kirumi tojo #angie yonaga #tenko chabashira #maki harukawa #miu iruma #tsumugi shirogane #himiko yumeno x reader #himiko yumeno imagines #himiko yumeno headcanons #kirumi tojo x reader #kirumi tojo imagines #kirumi tojo headcanons #angie yonaga x reader #angie yonaga imagines #angie yonaga headcanons #tenko chabashira x reader #tenko chabashira imagines #tenko chabashira headcanons #why are you looking at the tags??? #maki harukawa x reader

[sydneyshipsstuff]

so uh last night at like 4 am i couldnt sleep, decided to walk my dog, and came up with this bad boy. It’s a rough draft, though. um @professional-benaddict read it and told me to post it, so whatever rafni says goes. 

-Little! Peter with like everyone lmao (platonically), but main pairing is Tony x Peter. everyone is 18+ and Littles are known. but yeah, I call this “uncanonically Canon AU” because it follows canon character tropes (except Peter).

----------------

so i LOVE the doctor trope w stephen and tony to death, like probably a lil too much, but hear me out

--canon tony and the avengers with not canon (aka powerless) little peter

--im thinking how they met is before peter became classified as a little, he was smart smart. so, he still gets the internship, but a real one this time.

--hes hanging out with the other interns when he feels himself regress. he freaks and goes to hide in a bathroom or something

--he runs into (probably pepper??) someone and they help him get out of the tower because he's obviously very vulnerable

--they (pepper?) take him to the hospital to get tested and find out hes a high care little. once they find out peter freaks out because omg he cant work like this

--(pepper?) assures him that they will figure it our, but with no CG, and just for plot sake, he also is living alone at this point so they dont feel comfortable sending him home, so he stays overnight, at least, in the hospital

--(pepper?) goes to talk to tony himself about this since hes the one who chose and hired the interns. tony isnt quite sure what to do because peter is one of the best in their group

--(pepper?) suggests that he go have a one on one talk with peter and see what the boy wants to do with his future, and also meet with the doctors to see what they think is best for his future

--now, tony has met peter a few times, and the kid is pretty cool, but he never really cared about him (harsh, but canon tony is pretty reserved so yuh) so, when he goes into the hospital room to talk with him, hes mentally preparing to never see peter again

--but, when he walks in, he sees peter sat on a cot carefully coloring in an avengers coloring book, and his entire aura is different and /adorable/

--as if he wasnt already kinda done for, when peter notices he's there, he looks up, eyes blown wide and a kid-like face on full of awe

--he sits on the end of the bed and they simply stare at each other before peter finally gets the courage to ask why tony is there, stuttering through it like an adorable mess

--tony freaks out, because as good as peter is, he planned on letting peter down, but now that hes here, all he wants is to see the boy.

--instead he smooths his nervousness and easily asks about how the boy is doing. he asks if peter has a CG, and predicably, peter just sadly shakes his head

--anyways i dont really know how this part would be worded, and it probably wouldnt happen in just one day, but eventually tony asks peter if he wants tony to take care of him

--peter is a cutie and accepts, again dont really have this part planned out, im akward when it comes to writing about the adopting of a little

--he goes with tony and since he lives in the tower, he also gets the avengers as glorified CGs. now this is the part i LOVE

***added part by Rafni:

"I’d imagine that Peter would just be kept in the hospital, like he doesn’t need any meds nor saline so he doesn’t even have a drip nor is he hooked up to any monitors. He is just there in the hospital pyjamas colouring and waiting for someone to take care of him🥺👀"

And since there’s no medical concerns (anymore) the nurses would have more time to just chat with Peter and make sure he is like mentally taken care of 🌸🌸

---

tony stark- he's obviously the main man and does all the main caring. hes the one who sleeps with peter and makes sure he gets food, and plans the days. he also sometimes will hand make little gadgets (safe ofc) to occupy peter. he gets peter little engineering/inventing kits and will hold back any groans he has as peter hits his leg with a plastic hammer and screwdriver. he also is the one who is ALWAYS there, when he cries, when he's happy, when he's sad.

thor- he lets peter play with his hair, and even lets the boy snuggle, and sometimes even chew on, mjolnir (because of course peter would be worthy)

steve rogers- he lets peter look at and hold the shield. one day he finds the boy curled like a cat dosing on the inside of it

natasha- she speaks in russian to him, and when he goes outside to the park, shes there making sure no one disturbs him

wanda+sam (i had an idea for them when i originally thought of this, but i cant remember it now :/)

bucky- he lets peter also mess with his hair, although more rare than thor, but he does let peter suck on his metal fingers when hes really small, and will scratch peters scalp with it, the metal scratching much better than normal skin. also if he ever gets a fever, the cold of the arm feels amazing on his forehead

bruce- not strictly canon since hes more sciency than doctor, but i imagine bruce is the one who does checkups and takes care of the meds when peter is sick

stephen- he doesnt do it often, plus he's not at the tower much, but hell do little harmless "magic" tricks to excite Peter and when peter gets grumpy, stephen will give him a little stress spell thing to calm peter down

peter quill- i imagine hes the one who is down to do lots of fun stuff, but is also the most reckless towards the actions suited towards littles, getting a lot of scolding from tony. also, he has great taste in music, so when peter has bursts of energy, he'll bounce around the room dancing to old 80s music

rocket- hes the closest peters ever gonna get to a pet, and with lots of bribing from tony, rocket /occasionally/ lets peter pet him and feed him "treats", sometimes peter will ask rocket to do a trick like jump or spin, but rocket with always decline...at first. peters trademark pouts do the trick because either rocket will concede and hurt his pride, or tony will see and threaten rocket into making his little boy happy. its always worth it to see the happy little squirms and claps

gamora- she's the resident story teller. when its bedtime, she'll share her cool space stories, leaving out the gory/scarier aspects. it always does the trick as hes out in minutes. sometimes hell catch her and peter q engaging in loving activities (ie kissing, hugging, whatever), and he'll just giggle away, and as embarrassed as gamora gets, not being an openly affectionate person, she might just go to the extreme to hear the cute giggles out of the little boy

clint- hes pretty chill with peter. he also likes to play games with the boy, playing things like peek-a-boo when he's super small, or playing darts when he feels older. tony isnt /too/ happy about it, but its better than quill so he doesnt say anything.

pepper is there too because i love the idea of tony working away somewhere and pepper calling peter in, handing him a few sheets of paper, sometimes actual documents, sometimes just scratch paper to entertaim the boy, before asking peter to deliver them to tony. she always has a smile when peter eagerly nods with his whole body before running to the office to give tony the papers. it almost always ends with peter in his lap, but it /always/ ends in tony praising him, saying something along the lines of 'theres my little helper boy. look at you'

---

--on any particular day peter wakes up aged up, he doesn't even miss his old internship because this life is so much better, although on these days tony actually lets him help with some safer stuff in the lab with him

--also, they are still the avengers and still have to save the universe. tony leaves him in the care of Happy or Pepper, trusting them both to handle him. sometimes, it ends in disaster. sometimes, they are lucky enough to find happy laying on the couch, with a drooling little boy soaking his suit

--no matter how things end up, it never gets old being able to come home and cuddle up with the reason tony wants to save the universe.

--its no surprise peter is able to help the man just as much as tony helps him. tony stops locking himself up so late at night so he can put peter to bed and cuddle up. he stops drinking when he's stressed, instead finding his boy and reading a story to him. his hookups end, he wants to be there for peter all the time. he gets more work done, the added bonus of having a pretty little boy in his lap helping keep his mind on track.

--tony still has his canon issues, but having peter there makes everything a little more manageable. and when he eventually gets too old to be ironman, its okay, because his universe is lying in bed, a red pacifier in his mouth, and a family of superheroes softly arguing about who the boy loves most

--and despite tony being a narcissist, he knows this is not that, when he thinks that without a doubt he is peters favorite. after all, peter helped him see the good inside the bad

---

so uh yeah thats all i had to say. maybe in the future it will become an actual thing, idk. i still have so many projects im working on first. feel free to add whatever you want to it though !!

#Little!Peter #daddy!tony #starker #ironspider #tony stark x peter parker #tony stark/peter parker #peter parker x tony stark #tony stark #steve rogers #wanda #sam wilson #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #stephen strange #peter quill #rocket raccoon #gamora #clint barton #pepper potts #Sydney writes #Sydney rambles #late night sydney #rafnis stuff #rafni if you see this i love you #🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

#if you read all of this bless you #the imageless gdocs version of this is 8 pages long #hope you...enjoy?!?! these art history fun facts?!?! #dont let me do something like this again but also let me know if i should do something like this again #i was really only motivated to do this because im already passionate about the subject so idk if i could do it otherwise #anyway. this took me all day yesterday because the power kept going out #but im finally done #bye

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

#tgcf liveblog #bedtime now but im excited to be moving on #mouse mumbles

[abortionclinica-blog]

Why Did You Choose Abortion

I know it was the right decision Im 26 now and I had an abortion a few months ago when I was 25. The father was mentally, verbally, and physically abusive. It took about 2 hours to get to the clinic, and the whole ride up the he tortured me. Threatened to put me on the side of the road, and alse told me he was going to spit on me. Which he actually did a few weeks after i got the abortion. We were riding in the car going somewhere, and he got offended at something I said. Then he literally spit in my face twice while he was driving my car. That whole situation was a nightmare. Of course I was depressed about my decision. But the father was a habitual felon, which means he’ll never have a decent career. Which also means he could never fully provide for me and my child. Which was even more reason why I got it done. I came from a pretty stable background. My parents have been married for 31 years, and are still married. And this is what I wanted for my child. My worst nightmare has always been becoming a single mom… —fourapples single parent I choose abortion became I don’t want to be single, I want to be married before I have another one. I’m having problems with the man who I’m pregnant with now so I know what its gonna be like if I have this baby. —Guest Renee Sad I was 13 an pregnant. My family would not talk to me. I did it, but I wish I dis not. I saw the baby dead. Me sad, I had now no dischion because the baby was already dead. God bless that baby and make the deivil hount me! I am agents that method of death! I wish that was never invented or not ligail! —Guest Kerrie Ann Heath Choice I am a very lucky 27year old woman. I work for a wonderful, inspiring non profit and live a life filled with the love and support of great friends and a brilliant, kind fiance. Even with these circumstances, I was not ready financially or emotionally for motherhood. I am grateful I live in a place that allows me to make this type of choice. —Guest Linda it’s hard to explain… but i’ll try me and my bf have been together 7 months i found out i was pregnant and didn’t want to tell any famiy until i was sure of what i was gonna do, i’m in foster care just graduated hs my bf has no job and lives in another state, i love him with all my heart but felt like he was presuring me to have a baby as a way to sort of keep me, i wanted it somedays others i couldn’t dream of my kid having a life like i have… horrible! so when i went to the doctors i took the pills and so my bf wouldn’t kill me i madeit look like a miscarriage, i feel awful for that. but i see it’s not the right time i want a baby still just wait a year or two, i knew itwould be a hard pregnancy because i was already having sicknessand complications early on… i just can’t help but wonder… what if??? but i’m kinda glad i was given another chance to just live… find myself… i’m a baby, i can’t have a baby —Guest rayray I know it was for the best Well I had my abortion today at 6 wks. I have 3 kids a 7 yr old, 3 yr old, and 1 yr old!!! I’m happily married but pretty much living check to check. This was the hardest choice of my life but this how I chose it: I want the best for my kids…I want to be financially, emotionally, mentally stable home for my kids, which Im struggling to but I am for my babies now, but bringing another one I honestly believe I could provide all that but not in a happy home because me and hubby would be more stressed. More stressed working not seeing kids much due to hubby would have to work 2 jobs, stretching our attentions and individual quality time kids do need and sometimes I slack on due to be so tired from work then straight to kids. Basically I just want to get on the right track before bringing another in, I don’t want to be half ass parents to my kids, it wouldnt be fair to them including the one I gave back to god to save for me a little later. It’s SO hard always will be but for the best —Guest JaaZZEe It works if you work it. This is for all of you who are on the fence about abortion. I was 18, and living with my boyfriend. I fell pregnant when I was a senior in highschool. We were so in love. He worked a low paying job, and I was attending school full time. I remember thinking, “Are we really ready for a child?” Of course, like all couples who are in a involved relationship, we had discussed the possibility of children. He wanted to wait, and me being an idealist, decided that I wanted a baby. And I’d received what I’d asked for. Although, I briefly toyed with the idea of abortion, considering our age, income, not to mention our precarious living situation! I quickly decided that abortion was not the answer for me. My husband joined the army to support us, and can now say that we have over $3000 in savings. My son is 2, and I’m actually attending my first year of college! It can be done ladies. Believe me, I’m doing it. I began with nothing, and here I sit, smiling at the greatest joy in my life, my baby. —ReedJess 24 YEARS OLD WELL I JUST HAD MY ABORTION IM 24 AND AN ESCORT AND I HAD MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS AND DIDNT HAVE A CLUE OF WHO THE FATHER COULD BE SO I FELT ABORTION WAS THE ONLY OPTION .. BUT I REGRET IT KNOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE KEPT IT .. I ALWAYS USED PROTECTION WITH ALL OF MY CLIENTS I DONT KNOW HOW THIS HAPPEN I DONT RECALL A CONDOM EVER BREAKING…RIP TO MY UNBORN CHILD —Guest MICHELLE MOORE Everyday Struggle I just had a abortion 3 weeks ago and it was the worst thing I have ever did in my life. I found out early that I was pregnant and from the jump my boyfriend wanted a abortion. Reading and watching videos had me terrified and deep down I didn’t want to do it. I was ready to deal with my angry parents instead of getting the abortion. The day of my procedure I cried the entire time of the process though it was only 5mmins and I was drugged. I can still remember every detail. I stopped my bleeding and my body is doing better but emotionally I’m torn. My boyfriend waited until after it was over to say he wish we could of kept it. Now I’m going through depression because I only got the abortion because of him and my parents. I still have my ultra picture I even got it as my screensaver on my phone.I’m only 20 yrs old but I know me and my boyfriend would of been great parents. I just need to learn how to deal with the fact that my baby is gone —Guest Guest Teary Eyed Mom hlhs. I kept my son… but there was a bit of debating of whether we would or not. My boyfriend and I were 18 and we found out about Thomas heart condition …… I want to just say I read one readers response aaout her baby having a heart problem and I don’t think you should regret it. Yea, I cry thinking about how close I came to not having my son… but he suffered his first few months of life. He’s had two open heart surgeries and one more on the way and I’m 20 years old trying tp be as mature as I can be and deal with the stress. You made the decision so your child would feelno pain. And they aren’t. Do not ever regret that. —Guest heart problems… me and my bf i was pregant for 1months so my bf told me to abortion the baby —Guest it was my bf faults why I chose abortion I was only 22 years old and the father of my unborn child was 27 years older than me I make an ok living but I am still in college. I was not only scared for my future but scared for my chld and the longevity of a relationship with the father —Guest julycw The most important choice 3 years ago I became pregnant when a condom broke and the morning after pill didn’t work. It was a difficult choice to make, and one that I think about everyday. Even though I think about my decision everyday, I feel that it is so important as women that we stand up for this option to remain our choice. Remember that if you make this decision, it is yours and yours alone, don’t let anybody make you feel less of a human for making it. You will become part of a secret sisterhood because society puts you there, but don’t let that be a negative. It is your body, your choice, and everyday that goes by becomes a little easier. Don’t punish yourself, being a parent is a huge responsibility, and carrying a child to term and giving it up for adoption is just as hard as abortion. Don’t let someone bully you into this decision either, sit down alone and think about what’s best for you, and what you really want. Then make your decision. Good Luck and remember you will be ok in the end. —Guest guest1234 Not the best decision I chose abortion because I was trying to please some else and I thought it would be the easier way out…I also chose it because I let my parents fill my head up with the negative things and how my life would change drastically if I had the baby. I also had people tell me how i would regret having the abortion done but i didn’t listen. I could do it all over again I have chosen to have the baby instead of getting rid of it. My advice to any women would be that getting the abortion is not the answer you should thing positive. There isnt anything negative about having your baby in your life and loving them unconditionally. —Guest Chloe I had to do it I had an abortion 10 years ago. After finding out I was pregnant, I knew straight away what I had to do. I was in a violent and sexually abusive relationship and was very trapped and I certainly didn’t want to bring a child into that sort of life. I felt like I was offered no support at all and was left in a waiting list until over 4 months, which obviously meant that I could not just take a tablet. I am happy to say that I am now out of that relationship and since moved on, but 9 years later, I still feel sad sometimes and often think what if, especially as I still have no children of my own yet. I strongly recommend that people seriously consider what they are doing when they make this decision, I certainly did not think it would effect me like it has. —Guest Sadtimes Too Young To Be Pregnant!!!!!! Now 17. I hate that i got an abortion because I couldn’t take care of my baby. It was hard. I know I was only 16 and I shouldn’t been having sex. I couldn’t take care of it. I’m Only in the 10th grade. I got the abortion and afterwards I started feeling bad. My boyfriend and I decided to tell our parents what we had done. They told us they were going to be there for us. And all that time we thought they were going to be mad about. They were really mad when they found out what we did. They told us we shouldn’t have done that. Now we are trying to move on. Hopefully in the future we wont make that mistake again. —Guest Shay I took MY decision I was with my new boyfriend for about 8 months when I learned I was pregnant . Already a mother of 3 kids from my first marriage, I did not want my boyfriend to feel he had to stay with me . It was too early in our relationship. We decided not to keep the baby . I had a medical abortion and never regretted it . We moved a few months later and started living together . We are now maried and we have two boys aged 10 and 7. I know he stayed with me and my children because he loved me not because I was the mother of his child . I’ve never regretted my decision and I even told my daughter when she was 14 about my abortion so that she never feels guilty if she has to make this choice . It is our live before being the baby’s life. —Guest frenchie The reason why I’m 18 and I graduate in May. I just found out that I’m 5 weeks pregnant. This has been a very scary moment. I planned on going to college in the fall, but now I don’t know what to do. The baby’s father is 26. He has a good job but also has two other kids. I live with my aunt and her and my whole family hates him. But I care for him, he says that he would help take care of the baby but he isn’t ready for us to move in together and be in a relationship. I feel like he is using me. My aunt and him want me to get an abortion, and I do too a little, but it’s not morally right and god will never forgive me. But my whole family will be disappointed if I tell them I’m pregnant. I kinda want to keep it. So I got an abortion. —Guest Kerry I’ve done it both ways…. I had a child in 2008 when I was at the end of my sophomore year of college. When I’d found out I was pregnant with him eight months prior, I never even considered an abortion. 2 1/2 years later, I became pregnant again. I had been using the pill, although not quite religiously. The guy didn’t want the child; abortion was his choice. I, however, wavered on it. On the one hand, I wanted the child. On the other, I was about to graduate and having a baby would keep me from getting a job and supporting my son. So, even though my friends told me to keep the baby, I was scared into an abortion. Raising two children was scary. I wasn’t sure I was capable of handling it. So, at 12.3 weeks, I got it done. At the time, I still didn’t want to do it but I was scared. The ultrasound picture haunts me. I feel like I’m in hell on earth. I wish I had kept the baby. I cry every day and night thinking about what I did to that baby. Keep the baby! Consider adoption over abortion. You will be much happier —Guest Neveragain88 A tough decision I had an abortion when I was 17 in Oct. 2006. It was really hard for me but I knew right when I found out I was pregnant that it was what I wanted to do. I wasn’t in the place in my life that I wanted to be in, and I was having such a hard time with my boyfriend at the time. He liked my sister, was emotionally abusive, I really couldn’t see myself with him forever, I couldn’t see myself going through this and being happy, and I didn’t want to be stuck with an a** forever so I called for the appointment. Two years later right before we broke up my ex told everyone we knew that I did it (no one but my family and him knew). It really is a very hard decision to make for any woman. I still feel sad about it every now and then especially now that I just recently had a baby (almost on the anniversary date of the abortion). But I don’t regret that I did it. I was right about most of the reasons why I didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy. Hope this helps someone out there —krs23 My reasons I was 18 when I had an abortion. Fresh out of high school, father was still married but separated. Being young and dumb, I was gullible in thinking his separation from his wife meant that I was something special (ha). I still lived at home, was making little over minimum wage (1981, pennies on the dollar), could no way afford a baby, and biggest reason of all….would have lost support and respect of my family. To have the baby would have defied all practical logic and it made sense to me. All I could see was dismal future, unhappiness, and a child with a father who was pissed off that the baby was born. I believe babies need to come into the world with both parents loving, open arms. Life is hard enough. People under duress are not in right frame of mind to make life-altering moral and ethical decisions; which is usually frame of mind when a women finds herself with an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy. I could just see myself on welfare. No way. —soosoo13579 Silent No More I had an abortion at 16. I was not encouraged by anyone to choose life , only death. Doctors on what was called a therapeutic abortion committee at the time told my parents that an abortion would be the best solution. They said it was a simple procedure and reassured my parents that I would return to school the next day unaffected. It was a lie! There was physical , emotional , psychological and spiritual pain that followed for many years. It’s been 31 yrs and I can honestly say,the abortion did not solve any problems for me. Instead , it created more problems such as drinking , drugging and promiscuity. I’ve had 5 miscarriages during my marriage and I believe they were a result of scar tissue from having a surgical abortion. I’ve also been treated for depression for many years. I’ve become involved with a campaign called “Silent No More” where I’ve found much support from others who have experienced abortion as well. I realized that I did not have to suffer alone and there is hope! —Guest Dale Not sure I just found out I was pregnant the other day. I immediately went to the doctor and confirmed everything. I’m 26 years old. I have always been very careful (birth control and smart decisions). We had a lapse in the birth control and in the 3 weeks without, even being “careful” didn’t stop this. I know my boyfriend (who I was ready to end things with) doesn’t want a child and has made that very clear. We didn’t have the best relationship while we were together. I guess I’m really a little unsure. I always thought I would have an abortion if this happened before I was married and stable but I never thought I would be 26 facing this. My body has already started changing (I’m only about 3/4 weeks) and to know there is a little person inside of me that God gave me makes this the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. —Guest Guest234 not sure what to do I’m about 9 weeks pregnant and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m in my first year at college and the father wants nothing to do with me or the baby (it was a one night stand). I have told my family, however I am not coping and I keep thinking how I have ruined my life. However, I don’t think I could go through with an abortion. Adoption is also not an option. I don’t know what to do. —Guest guilty Right Reason but still hard I had an abortion last week. I was 16 weeks and 2 days along. I had to have the abortion as my baby had a horrible illness that would have given him a short and sad life. My husband and I know that it was the right thing to do but it is still so hard to deal with. We are young but we know that we would have been really good parents. I find that I am getting really angry at people with trivial problems and parents who treat their children badly. It is not something I ever want to do again and I never wanted to have to do it in the first place. —Guest Sarah Debating my 3rd abortion I had my first abortion when I was 21. My boyfriend at the time was having another baby with someone else who was further along. I decided that I didn’t want my baby to have to deal with questions of why he/she had a sibling the same age that wasn’t my child. I should have left but decided to stay with him. I got pregnant six months later. I miscarried around the time the other woman delivered. We found out the other baby wasn’t even his. We tried to make the relationship work after all the drama, I got pregnant again when I was 23. The pain of the drama/abortions before was intense and my morning sickness was so bad, I had a surgical abortion. We decided to try to make it work and moved to another city and now I am 10 weeks. I feel the need to have another abortion and just move away to another city. This time my friends and family know. I thought it would be different because I didn’t tell them before but I wish I would have just gotten a medical abortion when I found out. —Guest Andrea Best thing I ever did… ..well, I’m not trying to imply that minor surgery was fun, or anything. But it was a lot more fun than having an unwanted child would have been. I’ve never wanted children; there was an odd birth control failure (surprised my doctor). Fortunately there was a safe, easy plan B. And there you go…I HATE it when people kiss up to the right and say that abortion is always a “difficult”, “sad” choice. For many of us, who either don’t want children or realize the time isn’t right,and who don’t confuse zygotes with actual children, it’s the only choice, the responsible, caring one, and one for which we’re very grateful. Obviously I’ll never regret it. —Guest gina The worse thing I’ve ever done I am 26 years old and just recently got an abortion 3 days ago  …. I am separated from my husband and we have two beautiful children …. I was not financially stable in any means to raise another baby as a single mom . My soon to be ex husband hardly has anything to do with our children as it is … It was a quick decision I made one weekend with my best friend …. I was 10 weeks pregnant and had the dnc procedure . It was the worse pain I have ever went through in my entire life !!! Afterwards I feel like a murderer like I was supposed to take care of my baby and love it but I let some stranger dismember it and suck it out until it was no longer living …. Please for the love of god if your thinking of doing this DON’T !!! I made the worst mistake of my life and wish so much I could take it back bit it’s too late !! This will haunt me for the rest of my life  !! —Guest Mary may I will always regret it I had my abortion when I was 42. There was alot of pressure from my family and my husband to terminate the pregnancy. I am still saddened at the thought of what I did. Still angry at my husband and most times I don’t want him to touch me. The abortion was 3 years ago. I don’t see this relationship going anywhere. I don’t respect my husband for coercing me into aborting. What type of man does that to the women he loves? I see him as a coward now. —Guest JC Facing the hardest decision I am 28 and having an abortion tomorrow. This was a really hard decision for me. I’m 15 weeks and I can feel my little baby move… I even have pictures of him from the ultrasound. During my ultrasound the doctor discovered that my baby is at an increased risk for heart complications, but there is no way to know for sure until the baby is 22 weeks and by then it would be too late to terminate. My baby also has an increased risk for down syndrome. I believe it would be unfair to the baby and my four year old little girl to have a baby with serious ailments such as these. I wanted another baby so bad and there’s no way of knowing 100% if the baby actually has a serious problem. I’m so scared! I have no idea what to do! —Guest Shy The Worst Feeling In The World I fell pregnant at 19 years old. I was in no way ready. I had been kicked out of home with no money and only the clothes on my back. I stayed with my boyfriend’s cousin who did not support us because we didn’t pay to stay. My boyfriend is abusive. He has a severe anger problem and has done things that make me cry just thinking of it. I had the abortion in May 2009. I couldn’t handle the emotional pain and guilt. But I feared for myself and the baby because I had no home, and if I went back to my family my dad would have killed me. I can never live it down and I think of it all the time. I fell pregnant again just a few months later. I knew I did not want to go through it again. So I kept it and gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. I cannot be happier. I’m pregnant again. It’s only been a few months. I live with my parents and they strictly told me no more. I don’t know what to do I feel guilty as ever. I read pro-life comments & feel like a murderer. I don’t want to be. :’( —Guest Guest20 Regret it every day of my life I regret it every day of my life. I did it because I was a coward and was scared how others including my own family would perceive me. I never had a loving relationship with my mother. I wish I could convince other girls never to do this. A child is a blessing. It will forever haunt me and make me feel sadness even though I have other children. It took away my peace and happiness. I still laugh and smile but it has been many years and I think of it nearly every day. I feel the safest place for your baby should be your womb…where they are warm and protected. To think I let some doctor rip my baby out with a cold sterile instrument makes me feel such sadness. I pray to God that he will forgive me and I pray one day I will be able to see my babies face and finally find peace. If my daughter is ever faced with this I will love and support her and would never want her to consider abortion as an option. It does not solve anything–this world is just so messed up that we think it is ok. —Guest Amanda never trust sweet talk from a guy well my boyfriend and i were having a serious conversation about sexual relasonships and having a baby while i was only 15. He started doing some sweet talk that got to me, i feel for it.He said that no matter what happened between us our baby will always be taken care of and will recive the best from us.He would never let me down or leave me alone with the baby we will have.He would man up and take responciblity like he should do.So now i have fallen for all of that and got peragnant.2 weeks later i tell him about or futher baby and he goes nuts on me and he douthed about him being the father.He starts talking alot of crap that i dident expect.he and mention ABORTION i told him if he was crazy.I would never kill my baby he respnded ur the crazy one for planning to have a baby on your own with out a father and no job or no one to depend on or ask for help cause i wont be here to raise that baby thats not even mine.i started thinking and i relized an]bortion was all i could choose. —Guest samantha I am confused I have had a rough life. I was 1 of 5 children growing up. My mom was an addict. At an early age I started looking for love in all the wrong places. I ended up pregnant by age 12 when my mom forced me to have an abortion. At that age I hated her but now that I look back it was the best decision for me at that time. At the age of 16 I got pregnant and had a son. 6 months after I had my son, at the age of 17 I got pregnant again on the pill and I made the decision to get an abortion. At the age of 18 I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. 3 months later I was pregnant again and had a baby girl at the age of 19. I was married by the age of 20. My husband went to prison and I ended up becoming addicted to pain pills. I was pregnant 3 times over a 2 year period and got an abortion each time. I wasn’t on birth control at that point. I don’t know what the hell I was doing. I got clean & once my husband came home I got pregnant immediately and had a 2nd miscarriage. Got pregnant again and had a girl July 1st 2010 and I’m pregnant again while on the pill. I am lost. —Guest DMCS Lives with you I have had two abortions. It has taken me a long time to move forward in my life from it. I was suicidal for months after, depressed, and didn’t want to leave my apt. after my second abortion. The first one was very hard and I told myself I would never allow this to happen again. I was semi-involved with a guy friend who swore up and down that he was not able to get a woman pregnant because a doctor told him he would probably not have children, after an injury to the area. We ended up having sex and within a month found out on Fathers day that I was pregnant. I wanted to die because I had got into the same situation, I recently moved to my new apt., and could not afford another child because I have a 4 year old. I had a bad experince being left while pregnant with my lst child, and never wanted to be in the same situation again.I didn’t trust my guy friend to be a parent equally,and he was not right in his life at the time. I chose it and I regret it. —Guest Kate I had the abortion I had already published a piece of the story. At 8 weeks pregnant I found out my husband was talking to this girl. I confronted him about it and he took off. Never came back, never cared. That same week I got fired from my job. It all seemed just too much. I was crying all the time. I even asked my husband to try to work things out but he refused. He said I should spend my pregnancy in my home country (what nerve) and come deliver here is the USA. He said he’d help me financially and would be involve in the baby’s life… All while declaring he was never going to stop smoking pot or go to school to get a career. How can he support two adults, a baby and his habit on a server’s salary? It was not the right environment for a baby and I simply couldn’t do it on my own with no friends or family and a newborn. I had the abortion 5 days ago. I felt at piece with my decision. Well now I just feel empty and angry towards my husband. —Guest Scare and lonely Lost… I had an abortion in October 2009 and went through a lot of emotional turmoil. It totally messes you up. If your relationship with your boyfriend is dicey, it further messes you up. I was also on Accutane which causes fatal problems to the fetus so I had no choice but to abort. However, my boyfriend became an emotional wreck. He started becoming more distant. We lost both sexual and emotional intimacy. A year later, last month, Oct 2010, I had another abortion. This time, I really wanted to keep the baby. It was with the same guy, but we had too many arguments and he didn’t let me keep the baby. He is never there for me. In fact, he is on a trip (business and pleasure) and he hardly talks to me on the phone. My life is a mess. I don’t deem myself “right” for anyone. I have lost self confidence, self worth and I feel helpless. I was totally pro life and these 2 decisions which I couldn’t control one because of the medication and other because of the man, have left me devastated. —Guest Shway forgiveness I’m a Christian Minister and I want to say that God totally understands what we go through. I’d urge the women who still feel awful regret so many years on to find some help – maybe counselling or a good understanding church minister, and find ways to heal. If you feel you did wrong, ask God to forgive you. If you know you didn’t really have a choice at the time, ask God to help you forgive yourself. All any of us can do is make the best decision we can at the time, with the resources and understanding we have at the time. God understands that. and God understands how so often women get left to make such difficult decisions. If you are reading and haven’t decided whether to have an abortion or not yet, do follow the advice of women on here and get some proper sensible advice of all the options available to you. You’ll be confused and in a panic right now, and we all need some help working out what to do when we’re stuck. Hoping you’ll find peace. —Guest ray It was the best choice My husband and I are both in our 30s, finished with college and in professional careers. I have a 9-yr old child from a prior relationship, and I have a good relationship with his dad. My husband is physically and verbally abusive, and he has been for nearly a year. We separated in early August (2.5 months ago) after I told him he needed to leave or I would have him arrested (he was hurting me again.) He has done this many times, even in front of my child and in front of neighbors, yet somehow he finds a way to blame me for his anger. He has been coming over to spend time with me and my son a few times a week, often staying the night. He was talking about reconciliation, lots of couples counseling, even started taking meds. Then I found out I was pregnant, and that day he told me to have an abortion and he signed a lease elsewhere. He told me if I didn’t have one, he would make my life hell (he’s a lawyer, and I’m on his health insurance, and he makes most our income.) I chose an abortion. —Guest Kerry Terrible decision to have to make I was in school when I realized I was pregnant. I was engaged (now married) and being a mother is something I had wanted my whole life but at the time the thought of having to tell friends and family and the worry about not finishing school was overwhelming. Having said that, the decision to get the abortion was the worst decision I ever made. Years later, my life feels like its not what it should be. For me personally, the abortion has been traumatic and has left me terrified of intimacy but at the same time, overly desperate to be pregnant again. Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice and no matter how old you are or what your situation is, I really urge anyone thinking about having an abortion to really think about it. It’s amazing how a decision that seems logical can turn out to be so haunting. I hope and pray that anyone looking here for advice will benefit from the stories of those who have been through it. —linstelino The hardest decision I had my second abortion 4 days ago and I’m doing ok. My first abortion was 3 years ago and letting go of that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was filled with guilt, regret and lots of “what ifs,” but counseling helped a great deal as did forgiving myself. I had the first and second abortion for numerous reasons from money to career and lots of other factors. While I know my partner and I could have raised 2 well adjusted kids we just were not in the position to do it. The hardest thing for me was not to worry about what other people thought about me and abortion but to accept I made the best decision for me and my future. This second abortion I have not felt bad at all. While my partner and I agreed on the decision it was ultimately my choice and I know it’s going to be ok. When we choose to have kids, I want to be excited and happy and look at the ultrasound pictures and know that this is what I want. Please don’t live in regret and guilt, it’s the worst thing. —Guest Guest M I don’t know what to do I’ll be 29 in a week, and my appointment to get an abortion is 3 days after. I am pregnant out of a complete lack of responsibility of my husband and I. He’s younger than me though, so I guess I’ll take the bigger blame. This would be my third abortion and I feel devastated even thinking about it. Both physically and emotionally, abortions are a really hard thing to deal with. I just don’t feel at all ready for a baby. I am working (well hardly as I’m sleepy and nauseous for most of the time I’m awake) my husband is unemployed and looking for a job. Besides the morality of it all, I don’t think we are in the condition of making a baby happy… and new life deserves happy parents that want to provide with a great environment for them, not like I don’t want to…just don’t know how. I feel so alone and sad. —Guest scared and lonely Alone in college facing the decision I was 17 when I chose abortion. I was 8 weeks and 6 days along. I had been pro-life my entire life being raised by a pro life mother. When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to keep it. My boyfriend, who is still the love of my life made it a point that we were young with bright futures ahead of us. We weren’t ready. I went against everything I believed in because I loved him so much. After the abortion, I had this haunting fear or “what if he died, I would have nothing.” Despite my fears, I am completely healed from the abortion now even though my motherly instinct wants a baby more than anything. Now I am 18, and found out that my birth control has failed me. I am 12 weeks along. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet. I’m in college now all alone. I have no close friends or family where I am. I feel like abortion is my only option yet again. I am too far along to even have an abortion without a ride home. I don’t know where to begin. —Guest Brianna didn’t know my stance I don’t want to count the months it has been. I get emotional reading stories of regret, whereas before, I wouldn’t have had a connection. It is something you have to go through to relate to. I didn’t want to have an abortion. I knew I was pregnant but my partner refused to believe me because he thought (and still thinks) he is a genius at the rhythm/pull-out method. Before we got together, I said I would get an abortion if we got pregnant, but once I knew I was…it wasn’t far from our wedding date. This made me feel that it was okay since we were getting married. I started talking to the embryo, telling it ‘daddy’ will be home soon’, but since daddy was so ignorant, he wouldn’t believe I was pregnant and let me go on that way happily for the 7 weeks. I really don’t believe I will ever be as close to him as I was before HIS decision to terminate. I had thought of moving to Europe and giving it up for adoption, but I’m no feminist, so I let him manipulate me. —Guest manipulated Didn’t want to leave my 6 year old son I chose abortion so that I wouldn’t have to leave my soon-to-be ex husband’s house and I could stay with my 6 year old son. My “ex” told me that if I kept my baby (I was pregnant by my boyfriend) I would have to get the F out of the house. And I want to be with my son, and I know I wouldn’t have won custody in the divorce because when I left him I didn’t take my son with me because I was living in my jeep. Now I just want a baby and move out. I realize I was pressured into it. I had the abortion and my ex still tells me to get out of the house anyway. It was a big mistake. —bonolarryedge Why I had an abortion I went through with a surgical termination for a few reasons, I was too far gone for the medical and I was fully asleep for this option. Having the actual abortion took about 4-5 weeks to decide, as maternal as I am it was just not the right time for myself or my boyfriend. I think the hardest thing is mentally fighting against nature during the whole thing. I have had problems since health wise and so you need to be sure it is for you. I would be happy to answer questions from others and know your story. —Guest Clover My abortion is my only regret. I couldn’t even type my guest name without tearing up. I hate the fact that I am a mom, I know I am, but no one else does. I hate seeing pregnant women further along in their pregnancies than I was. I hate seeing young mothers with their babies. And the worse is seeing young couples with their babies. My baby’s father threatened to leave if I kept our baby. Now we are married, and I regret my decision more than ever. Because he probably would have stayed no matter what. He was probably just scared too. It was the worst experience of my life. And I will NEVER make that mistake again. I don’t know when I will ever have the opportunity to have children again, as my husband doesn’t want a baby. Even if we do, I do not think that I will ever feel complete. I never got to meet my baby….never got to hold my baby. And I am the only person to blame. —Guest Guest mommy of an angel No regrets…it was for the best… I was 20 and dealing with a mentally abusive, drug and alcohol addicted husband and raising a 1 year old with no money and no real place of residency. In my mind it was bad enough raising one child in that environment. Why do that to another? Thinking over the decision it wasn’t that hard. I know I could have adopted out the child to a family in need but I couldn’t do that either. To me that was harder — knowing about a child somewhere out there — rather than terminating the pregnancy. In the end it turned out to be the best thing for me. It got me out of a horrible scary marriage and back on track with giving my child and myself a life. —Guest Jessica I am glad to be able to make my choices I am a mother of 2 kids and in a happy marriage. This pregnancy is an accident and we never wanted more than 2 kids. I feel if I have the 3rd one at this stage, I will compromise on the upbringing of my other 2 that have been brought into this world with best intentions. I will hate to see that happen and at the same time do not want to compromise my future for the sake of something that we never wanted. I know I am making the right decision for the long term happiness of my family. Sorry, if my decision hurts anyone’s faith, but I being the pregnant lady has the right to do so! —Guest Almost 35 The freedom of choice I was going to have an abortion in 1996, I was 15 and afraid. I waited too long and couldn’t get one. Adoption was out of the question, I kept him. He is now 13 years old. I didn’t get a GED untill I was 21 and now at 29 I am going back to college. I have 2 children on 13 the other 10. I love them very much, but it was very hard getting here (to a stable point in my life). We have been on welfare, homeless and I have done things that I will regret for the rest of my life. My children deserved so much better than what we had. God sent me a man to help me get an education and to get out of the roach-infested drug area we were living in. I would still be working a dead end job and my children would still be neglected since I couldnt afford child care. I would tell girls that were in my situation to really weigh their options. I am thankful that the option was and is legal. —Guest Tanaya Pregnant, but do not want it… I realized over the past couple of years that I do not want children. I even thought I probably couldn’t have them. I was careless, though, and now my boyfriend and I agree we should terminate. It’s been difficult, because I know it has a little heartbeat, but I do NOT want children. I may change my mind in a year or two, and hopefully will be able to have them then, and afford them (I’ve been out of work for almost a year now and he doesn’t make much), but I am not in a place to deal with an infant right now. I never thought I’d be here, and I don’t wish these conflicted feelings on anyone, but I am SOOO glad we have options! My support people have said that whatever decision I make is the right one. I’m trusting them. —Guest Syriana Best Decision for My Family My husband of six years and I separated after I finished my first year of law school. After fighting it out many months with a counselor, we agreed to share custody of our two children aged 2 and 5. He moved thirty-five miles away to pastor a church in D.C. while I continued to live, work and attend graduate school in Baltimore. It was a very traumatic time for the children who did not understand what was happening to the family. I found the younger child sleepwalking at times when “visiting” me. The older child, previously very precocious, had a few episodes of soiling her underwear. This obviously was a frightening, unstable time for our small ones–as separation/divorce tends to be for children of all ages. One weekend, my husband & I attended a wedding of friends and were intimate with each other afterward. Loneliness, I guess. The condom broke, and a few weeks later that I learned that I was pregnant. Wanting to spare our children further trauma, I aborted the pregnancy. —Guest writer2 16 & pregnant I was 16 when I got pregnant by this boy I was in love with, and he was my first love. On Thanksgiving Day we decided to finally use a condom and it broke. We didn’t think anything of it because nothing had happened to us before, so we finished. One month later I didn’t get my period so I told him At first he tried to deny it, but he couldn’t. He knew it was his. Out of the 3 months I was pregnant I saw him 5 times. He didn’t call me. Instead, he he would text. We would argue because I wanted the baby and he didn’t. But I guess he really didn’t understand and his aunt was pressuring him too. The day of my abortion he went with me. I was nervous. They said they were giving me an ultrasound, so I went to get the ultrasound. I remember laying on the table with a bright light in my face, and my legs in the air. I got a shot called “twilight” it was to make you sleep, but I only felt drunk. I was in so much pain physically, mentally and emotionally. —angie1992 Why I did it I was 18. Father was my married boss who had no intention of leaving his wife and said he didn’t want 3 kids (he had two already). I was working at fast food minimum wage job, still living with parents, in college…..and terrified of my mother finding out, family response, anger from family at having baby when I could not support it and anger at who father was. At time, never considered anything but abortion as quickly as I could (6 weeks). I was terrified. Sure life went on as planned afterward, but what would my life be like now had I had the baby? My parents never would have rejected me/baby, father would have had to face his wife with the truth, the baby would have been an amazing person (just like my son), since father was smart and good looking. I threw away a perfect human being to avoid facing reality and so I could go on having fun with my friends without responsibility. That’s really the truth, deep down. —Guest Soo No regrets I went through a very bad time a few years back. My ex boyfriend got me into drugs, and I became dependent on heroin. I started stripping to buy what I needed to survive everyday. I was on the pill at first, but I couldn’t get to the clinic all the time to refill my prescription since I didn’t have a car. I thought I couldn’t get pregnant. It was about three months after stopping the pills. I hadn’t had my period for months because I didn’t take the placebos at the end of the month, I just went straight to the next pack. I thought the pills were still affecting my reproductive ability, so it was safe to have sex. I was wrong. I could not have a baby like this. In this situation. No way. I knew I was pregnant at about three and a half weeks. I took ru-486 at four weeks. I knew I was pregnant because I listened to my body. I knew I couldn’t bring a child into the world because I listened to my heart and my brain. I am better now. I have a wonderful life. I am happy. I stand by my choice. —Guest A Healed Soul I didn’t effect me… Until now (cont.) Well, we went through with the abortion at 12 weeks, and of course there was emotional turmoil from both of us for a bit, but we both felt like we had made the best decision. It’s been nearly five years, without me giving it much thought. My husband and I recently had our first son. I love him so much, and as stressed as I am, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But, now, all I can feel is guilt. 12 weeks. They can move. They are developing facial features. I look at my son, and it haunts me to think that he’s missing a sibling. I feel like it’s completely my fault. I can easily say that I do have regrets about the abortion. But, at the same time, I feel like my husband and I would be much worse off if I hadn’t had the abortion. I know for a fact that if I had continued the pregnancy that neither he, nor I would have been able to give up the child. Not to mention that my husband would be in jail at this time due to the pregnancy. Research. Weigh your options. Remember, it’s YOUR choice. —Guest Rika I didn’t effect me… Until now I was 15 when I had my abortion. I was a freshman in high school and had been dating my 17 year old boyfriend (now husband) for over a year. We had been practicing safe sex, but a slip up led to the pregnancy. Neither of us wanted to have the abortion, but being raised in a Mormon family, I knew that he and I would be subject to judgment and ridicule behind closed doors. Even so, what ultimately drew us to our decision was the looming fact that if my grandfather had found out, he would have reported my boyfriend for statutory rape, and he would have been registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. We also knew that neither of us were ready to care for the child. We both grew up in poor situations involving poverty and drug usage from our parents and we did not want that environment for our child. My mother passed when I was 11 and my siblings and I were being raised by my grandmother. She had enough stress. (I’m going to continue in another post.) —Guest Rika i made the right decision i had an abortion when i was 18. i used to be completely against abortions untill i got pregnant. all these people that say abortion is wrong and put down women who have had an abortion dont know what it feels like. when you experience the situation personally its alot more understanding. i hate when people go on and on about how wrong it is.. they dont know how it feels to be a struggeling pregnant teenager obviously!! i think about my abortion every single day and i sometimes even wonder what if.. but in my heart i know that it was the right decision. —Guest caitlyn Confused Well im 6 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. I am married. own house and car but my husband is the only one working. My last pregnancy I was sick for the full 9 months. Wasnt sure if me or my daughter was going to make it. Now here I am today. Its been 4 days and ive eaten nothing. Ive thrown up over 15 times. Ive passed out. Heart trouble….just too much stress. And I dont think I am ready to go thru this again. I feel like im nearly at death sometimes. —Guest JJ A choice I am a mother of one very needy 3 year old child, every minute of everyday I spend w/ him, I think back to my pregnancy and the first 2 years of his life. I am married to a wonderful man, with anxiety. And me I am fresh out of a pregnancy/ post partum depression. I am much better now, I’m 85 percent sure I’m having an abortion, when my son was a 0mos-24 mos. my husband worked 12-14 hours a day, away from my family or his, I had no help, there were times I wanted to hurt my child, I never did, but there were times I felt very close, and if you are any kind of honest mom in that situation you understand my feelings. I felt like a bad mom for my feelings, anger, resentment, frustration. I gained 85 lbs with my first pregnancy, and 3 years later I’ve only lost 35lbs of what I gained, it has put a strain on me mentally, and physically, I had a surgery 8wks ago. I’m having an abortion b/c I don’t feel I or my hub. Can handle another child physically or mentally. —Guest Dawna Angels Above. I’ve had 2 abortions and I’m 21 years old. The first I was 14 and had been raped. I couldn’t support myself let alone raise a child and didnt want to be reminded of my rapist every time I looked at my child. 2nd I was 18 and not living in a safe environment. Alot of violence and drug dealings going on around me. I knew it was the best decision for those circumstances at those times in my life but it still scars me to this day. I look at a child and get emotional. I am now 7 weeks pregnant and leaving the father as he mentally and emotionally abuses me. I would rather be a single mum than abort again. It just hurts to much. Think carefully before deciding to abort ladies. —Guest Mandz25 what to do? I was 21 and I had already had one with my sons father, Wowzers here comes another, but I was scared to have two kids and not be able to raise them properly because babies arent cheap. Plus my bd has other kids so we both said it was best we aint wont our baby to have to want for anything. So we decided to do it. I think of the lil angel a lot though. —Guest Ms.Leta why i choose it cus i have a babe and my bf ws not working although he wanted the babe so bad bt i couldnt deal with the fact that i have to suport the babe alone, its been two months now and he got work and my relatioship with him is real not going, has dumped me several times and is cheating with another, when i ask him he says he wants a babe and wil do anything to get it with sumone who is willing… so i wul say it was not the best decision i made.. —Guest beeve I wish my situation was better I was 27, separated from my ex-husband who had fathered 3 kids with his mistress during our 5 year marriage. When he sent me divorce papers out of the blue (that’s when I found out about the kids) we separated… I moved into my car and he moved in with her. He was happy. I wasn’t. So I went out and wanted to numb the pain of loneliness and depression and I slept with my closest guy friend. (Background – I have pcos and endometerosis and rarely have periods) so I thought everything was ok. It wasn’t. I went in for a routine check up on my cysts and found out I was pregnant. My ex found out and he and his insane family began to threaten me. When I told my only friend, he was there for me, and thrilled that I was carrying his child. I was shocked. But everyone in his family demanded that I abort or else. And since I had no job, no money, living out of my car with my only support being my friend whose family always hated me… I did what everyone wanted. It still hurts to this day. —Guest none kayleighr 2011 i had one yesterday at 12 weeks and ive never felt more relieved, i know its not nice but i want to bring a kid up when i have my own house and have worked and give it a good life instead of bringing a child up on benifits and income support i dont want to be relying on the goverment as they treat u like s..t and stop ur money when they feel like it then u end up living in a hostel struggling for food and cloths no thanks i made the right decision i know that now even though i was scared right up to the day. i hope to have a baby one day when im ready and give it a great life. —Guest kayleigh 2011 How about because I didn’t want a kid? And it was an excellent decision. The thought of having a 7 yr old today is enough to make me jump for joy that I wasn’t a religious nut who felt guilt-tripped into having a child. It is depressing that women still feel like they have to come up with a sentimental excuse to have an abortion. I had an abortion because I have a brain. I was 17. I am an intelligent person who wanted to go to college and work (which I did.) My life is significantly better due to my decision to have an abortion. Furthermore, all scientific evidence supports that fetuses in the 1st trimester cannot feel pain and are not self-aware. Actually, these anti-choicers should have more of a problem eating meat than aborting an early fetus. There is no good reason to feel bad about having an abortion unless you were forced to have one. The world would be a much better place (less poverty, starvation, etc) if more women chose this option. Just because you have a uterus, it doesn’t mean you need to fill it with a kid! —Guest Ashley Confused I have just found out that i am pregnant, feelin very intense, scared and dont no how to tell anyone, confused whether to keep it or not! : ( as i have never been in a relationship with the father, it was all a bit of fun, he already has a child with his previuos partner and doesnt want anymore.. I darent tell him as i think too much of him, but i think about this unborn baby it cripples me, i dont no what to do —Guest Jackii hard times i had a abortion almost 12 years ago and i still reget it so much i was on my early 20′s with 3 boys i had a very hard life but after i had the abortion i never had kids again i regret it so much i been living with this n i feel so bad i can’t forgive myself —Guest regret what i did Tomorrow… My date for a medical abortion is tomorrow – 10 Dec 2011, I told my 4 year long boyfriend that I am pregnant last night (I am 35 and he 50) he immediately told me to have an abortion, that the night we conceived we were both drunk and that our relationship is not based on love but lust. He also asked me to sign a letter stating that I do not have any financial or other claims against him and waive my rights if i decide to go ahead and have the child, which I did this morning. I am having this abortion because i dont want a child to live in these types of circumstances -I am NOT going to explain to him/her one day that they arent wanted and I made that choice by choosing to be with such a pr*ck in the first place. EVERY CHILD has a right to a REAL life, NOT HALF a chance. I am giving myself a second chance in life, I choose to learn from my mistakes and not to destroy my heart in the process. My heart goes out to all of you, and all the best for a REAL future. —Guest Guest Mich Thank you I have never had to consider abortion, and was never pressured to have one. I have been conflicted about the legality of abortion for many years, and staggered by the millions of lives that have been lost since it became legal. I am Roman Catholic, and I do believe that abortion is a sin, since taking a life should never come without spiritual consequences. However we have a loving God, who forgives us our truly awful choices, if we truly repent. With your stories, I have decided that abortion should be legal until such time as our country so loves its children that they and their mothers are assured of care and of protection from the beginning of pregnancy and for as long as required. When there are no longer tens of thousands of children in foster care because they have all been adopted, then the country can make abortion illegal. Until then, there isn’t enough love in it for all, and women should have the right to abort in a safe and legal way, if they feel they have to. —trentriverwoman Really confused Im 17 nd my bf just turned 22, im 7 weeks and i have no idea what to do, my dad once told me if I ever get pregnet ,thall he would kick me out, and I would have to live with my bf, my bf lives with his mom and can barley afford himself, on top of that I feel like hes pressuring me to abort, deep down inside I dont, my mom and his mom say no, my bf tells me yes and im scared wat my dad will do.. —Guest Just pray Theres more ways out I was 14 when I had a abortion I wanted tht bby more than anything I was forced to have a abortion by my.mom.now I regret it.more than anything I have to go true life knowing I killed a poor bby. It.doesnt matter if u have the money or not theres is plenty of.more ways.out. Its only been a year and i still feel sad and depresed but theres noo turning now . I just wish this thing was ilegal or something. —Guest Not a good choice An Unresolved Issue I primarily did it out of shame, but it left me carrying guilt and shame the rest of my life. I was 20 and not married. I couldn’t bear having my very large, strict, Roman Catholic family learn that I was pregnant or that I would have a child out of wedlock. The irony is that the strict pro-life religion under which I was raised is what sent me running to the abortion clinic. I still feel haunted over the fact that I took this life. Adoption didn’t seem like a viable option, because the pregnancy would have been public and I would still have to bear the shame and stigma brought on by my family, my faith, and society. However, I could never escape my own judgement of myself. There will always be abortions until society becomes more forgiving and accepting of mistakes. I still think abortion is taking a life, but I see it as a form of self defense on the woman’s part. It is sad that an innocent child is caught in the middle. —Guest Haunted Dark Time I grew up in an abusive household. My mom was helpless and timid; always crying. My dad terrorized us. I swore that I would never get around someone similar. Unfortunately, my first serious boyfriend was much like my father and through fear and intimidation (and because it was what I was used to), I fell right back into a pattern of doing what I was told. He didn’t abuse me physically, but he was very obsessive/possessive and I was afraid of him. I was still very afraid of having to show my body to anyone, so I didn’t seek birth control from a clinic. Instead I used drugstore methods, though he would often force himself on me . He and I fought and my family fought with me because they didn’t like him. It became worse when he started drinking. I went to a clinic alone and was attacked by protesters. I never felt so alone, scared and sad in my life. I wish someone would have helped me. I wish I had the courage to say what was going on. I was 20 at the time, 28 now. It will always hurt. —yoruame You do you. you wanna have a baby? have a baby! if you don’t then theres adoption or abortion. It is YOUR choice ladies. not anyone else’s to decide for you. I personally had an abortion for lots of reasons. i don’t regret it. some do. it all depends on you! There are mean nasty ass people out there who will degrade and belittle you n will say nasty things. f*** ‘em. Only YOU know whats best for you the baby n the father, if he didn’t help get you pregnant then lose his balls n run once you found out. If anyone don’t agree with abortion… Then i suggest they don’t have one then, huh?!? —loretta.k Jesus Saves! I was sinning and very young. I knew if I had a baby out of wedlock I would shame my family and no man would ever make his wife. I feel confident about my decision to have an abortion because it was the decision that most benefited ME. Now I have a loving husband (who never has to find out) a Huge bank account, a beautiful house we had built brand new, three 2011 cars and 3 healthy (non bastard) children and a family that loves me. Praise the lord, Jesus has forgiven me, I am free of my sins. No matter what we do in this life, it’s between us and GOD! He gave me this body to do with what I CHOOSE! It’s NO ONE’S Business if we have had an abortion. You don’t have to tell anyone, I didn’t. God Bless —Guest Mellissa Harmon Worst decision of my life I had it about 2 months ago i am a 20 year old college student who had alot going on. Internship, had about a semester on my bachelors. Had just opened a small store with my friend. Things were really moving, and me and my boyfriend who had a very good job had just met actually it was about a month into our relationship i found out. I felt like i didnt really know him enough to have to deal with this person for 18 more years i also felt that i had done alot since i was 16 and being the best that i could be at everything i tried. Then i went and got pregnant and i just saw every bad possibility coming from this situation. College going up in flames, internship denying me another year. Just my life being over. Then my parents were forcing us to get married. He was older than me 31 to be exact, and i just wasnt ready. So i did it, july 14th i got rid of it. Right before i went in a nun urged me not to. I should of listened cause now everyday i feel empty. Empty as a glass. —Guest Sucks i regret myself yesterday only i did abortion(28th sept 2011) and today i am in total emotional turmoil, i am regretting and blaming my husband as well. he did not support me to have this baby so i had to abort my child and i also would like to request all the women never do such kind of mistake in your. this is indeed a murder in my view. children are the gift of god, they have the right to live. —Guest niru mishra No regrets I was in a relationship where I was controlled to the point where my ex didn’t want me to take birth control. I fought with him saying that I didn’t want a child at this time. So I tried to sneak birth control , and he abused me when he found out. He controlled and manipulated me so much that I wasn’t allowed to wear low cut shirts, skirts, make up, bathing suits, have any guy friends etc. So it came to the day that I was pregnant. I didn’t want to have a child, I wanted to wait till I was financially settled and educated enough to properly care for a child. I am not mentally ill, a horrible person and selfish, I was someone that was young and in a bad situation. So I chose to abort. To this day, I am fortunate that abortion is available, because I don’t know what I would be doing right now with a child, its hard enough to get by. His family were alcoholics and had a lot of problems, I didn’t want a child brought up in that life. I didn’t want a child at that time, period. —Guest Anonymous to be responsible Having an abortion when I was much younger was the responsible thing to do. My bf and I would have had to marry. I was very immature and emotionally unstable and my bf eventually came to understand that he was gay. I wanted to have a traditional family, and because I was easily able to procure an abortion (safe and nearly painless), I was allowed to grow up and have the family I wanted. Although society generally is more understanding now of single mothers, some families and cultural communities are still incredibly backwards. We should not make these women suffer because we do not walk in their shoes. —faneta few regrets I know I wouldn’t have the family and children I have now if I had not had an abortion 30 yrs ago. My main emotion afterwards was relief. My bf did not want the child or to marry. So although I wish I hadn’t gotten pregnant that first time, my 2 children would not exist. I’m so sick of these pro-lifers who don’t give a thought to the suffering of women and girls in truly desperate situations. The quality of life of an autonomous human being is more important that the life of a potential autonomous human being. Although they don’t mean to be, prolifers are really pro-suffering (esp. as it relates to sexual sin). The only authentic prolifers are those who are also 100% antiwar, like the Quakers. The rest are just unwitting sheep joining the religious patriarchy to keep women under control. You are not murderers! Stand up for your right to determine the course of your life, and respect other women’s. Ignore those who want to you to suffer emotionally just so they can feel superior. ���faneta no support I had a abortion a week ago it hurts so bad.The reason I did it I had no type of support from my mother or the guy I was with. I cry almost everyday but I decided to heal myself by lighting a candle and praying for gods forgiveness and asking my baby for forgiveness.I know in my heart I will never get another abortion. —Guest Dj Why I chose abortion. I’ve had two abortion when I was 20 and 22. I was in a relationship with a man who didn’t have a job, depressed and has bipolar mother. I couldn’t see myself being with him and raising his children, I was panicking what I should do. After the first one I said never again to abortion. I was pregnant with 2nd child, I decided to tell my parents to keep the baby. I brought my ex, his mother, and our parents together to talk about what to do. My ex was all about talk, never went through and promised his words. So I said, I can’t do it. I cried so much but I knew I had to do it. I am pregnant again right now and decided to have one once again. I am now 26years old. I am trying to further my career and my current boyfriend still has to finish school. He doesn’t believe in abortion but he says he understands my point of view. I want to marry him someday and a child when we really want one. I feel terrible, ignorant, and selfish but I decided to do this for us. —Guest Lori More than money The cost of an abortion is much more than money. As some one who made that uneducated choice, I have had to live regret. I look at my children today and know that they are missing 2 siblings. My hope is that if you are reading this and feel that abortion is the only answer for you – you will open your heart to the child in your womb and know that you have been given this opportunity to choose life and love this child. There is always a way – when you look for it. —Wonderfullymade812 no regrets newfound love for being young I found out i was pregnant at16 it was the beginning of my junior year my bf wanted me to have it but it just wasnt realistic im a teenager my worries are school and work as they should be not supporting and raising a child my mom noticed i was pregnant before i did bc of the morning sickness im so lucky my mom was super supportive of my decision to get an abortion after having the procedure i was in a euphoria of relief and motivation to get the most out of life i come from a middle class family good grades there was no way i was going to end up broke single and un educated not to mention the burden i would place on my parents they have already raised children people who have kids when there still kids end up having mid life crisises feeling like theyv missed out on life they never really grow up life has so much to offer getting an abortion was the best decision of my life it gave me the option to have a life i appreciate being young so much more now and that i am truly greatful for —marge0000 Thought I couldnt get pregnant I’m 37, wz seeing 31 he has no kids. We met Jan. He said he wanted a baby with me in May. I read on the Internet it wz harder for women over 35. 25%-50%, weed smokers have slow sperm swimmers he’s 1, getting off the pill takes 1 yr. On 7/23 I conceived with 1 try only that month! On 8/6 I brk it off. On 8/12 I find out I’m pregnant. He said it’s ok but he’s someone. Rearing a child fatherless is not an option for me. He feels I trapped him. He’s 31, no kids, no car, lives with mom. I have 2 kids and a professional job. His anger & inability to father has made my choice. I’ve cried ALOT. I repent my own stupidity. I stopped pill, after he said he wanted baby in may. After an inconsistent cycle I said to himi stopped the pill. It went over his head. He thinks I trapped him. I have 2 kids and professional Job. He does not want to b dad. I dont want a fatherless child —Guest 37 After 2 and a half years i am healed I was 20 years of age at that time and i was so afraid. I really felt like keeping the baby but my boyfriend said no and i never ever really healed after that until i met my current Boyfriend. He is the greatest thing in my life, he helped me understand and get myself to forgive myself and as i stumbled upon this sight it truly made me realize how healed i am! And the best thing of all is that God forgave me, i truly feel that in my heart and i am so happy all the time! God gave me a gift in a form i would never ever have guessed would be possible. my advice would be to let God give you something to help you forgive yourself and be open towards God and have faith! it sometimes takes long but in the end it helped me through things i never would have before! —Guest Doreena Consider This I dont mean to be inappropriate by posting about the other side of the fence, I really dont. After reading many of these posts, I feel if I can advise one pregnant woman about what the other side of the fence is like, perhaps it could forever change her life forever. I considered abortion, I considered it long and hard. I even had the keys in hand, ready to head to a clinic a few times. They never made it to the cars ignition though. Abortion processes are not pretty, and I couldnt rip the child out chunk by chunk, I wasnt going to have a practicioner do if for me. I really wondered what it would have been like to have a long career. I am 21, my boyfriend is 23, our daughter is a month old. Loving her has been a process, notsomething that came easy when I was pregnant. But I am NOT broken on the inside, as it sounds many women are that have the procedure. I couldnt do it because my future is not more important than my daughter’s no matter what. When theres a will theres a way. —Guest Sarah Abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Medical abortion pills https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/medical-abortion-pills.html Surgical abortion https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/surgical-abortion.html Womb cleaning https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/womb-cleaning.html Abortion Counselling https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-counseling.html Pregnancy termination https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/pregnancy-termination.html Why abortion should be legal https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/why-abortion-should-be-legal.html Abortion law https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-law.html Abortion statistics https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/abortion-statistics.html Womens clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Safe abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za Legal abortion clinic https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za History of abortions https://www.abortionsclinic.co.za/history-of-abortion.html

[themoneybuff-blog]

How to find your purpose in life: 12 powerful exercises to help you discover purpose and passion

Shares 298 Happy blogiversary! Twelve years ago today, I launched a humble little blog about personal finance this blog, Get Rich Slowly. It was meant as a way for me to share the things I was learning as I dug out of debt. It turned into so much more. For the next couple of weeks, Im on the road in the southeastern U.S., speaking to people about personal finance and meeting with readers. This morning, for instance, I spoke to the 76 people attending Camp FI in Spring Grove, Virginia. My topic? No surprise: The importance of having purpose in your life. As you can see, I am a PowerPoint genius

If youve spent any time reading my material, you know that I believe purpose is the foundation on which all plans financial and otherwise ought to be built. Purpose is a compass. It helps you set big goals, sure, but it also acts as a guide when times get tough. Your mother died? Your wife left? Your husband lost his job? If you know what your primary purpose is in life, these stressful events are much easier to deal with. For this presentation, I added a new twist. You see, a lot of folks who are interested in money tend to pick things like getting out of debt and becoming financially independent as their purpose or mission. But I think these are poor choices. Ive seen far too many folks make debt elimination a goal then fall right back into debt once theyve achieved it. And there are plenty of people who reach FI (or retire early) only to find they no longer know what to do. (Its like aiming to reach a certain weight instead of choosing to make lasting lifestyle changes that lead to weight reduction.) Instead, I think its important to recognize that your financial situation should be side effect of pursuing some greater purpose. Financial independence ought not be your aim; its merely a means to an end. When I speak about purpose (which is often), I tend to fall back to the George Kinder/Alan Lakein personal mission statement exercise. I feel like its one of the best available tools for helping people find focus. But its not the only tool. Today, to celebrate this sites twelfth birthday, I want to present twelve alternative exercises for discovering your purpose and passion. If youve tried one (or more) of these without success, try another. One of them is sure to be useful for you. Note: Ive done my best to credit sources for these exercises. (Many come from Barbara Shers excellent book Wishcraft, which is all about crafting the life you really want.) At the end of this article, Ill give you a list of recommended reading and tell you what I think is the single best book for discovering passion and purpose. Your One-Hundred Word Philosophy The first exercise is one I created myself. Its based on CrossFits world-class fitness in 100 words statement. Theres no time limit for this exercise, but it could take a while so be prepared. Your aim is to write out your life philosophy in exactly one hundred words no more and no less. This can take any form you want, from a statement of values to a list of instructions. Begin by writing down your core beliefs and values. It might also be helpful to think about books that have had a big impact on your life or powerful advice youve received in the past. Based on your experience and beliefs, what is your life philosophy? As an example, heres my own hundred-word philosophy, which Ive written as instructions to myself:

Some of those admonitions are my own invention. Some come from books like The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Refuse to let fear guide your decision-making process, was advice from my girlfriend. Create your own luck is based on my friend Michelles advice to create your own certainty. Again: Target one hundred words exactly. Itll force you to spend time thinking and editing and being introspective. As you can see, I paid an artist friend to create a pretty letterpress poster of my 100-word philosophy, which Ive hung on the wall here at home. I look at it every day. Obviously, you dont have to go that far. Your Original Self This next exercise, which comes from Barbara Shers Wishcraft, sounds hokey at first. Turns out, however, that its a lot of fun to complete. Heres how it works. Set aside about half an hour for quiet contemplation. (Theres no writing involved in this exercise only thinking.) Let your mind wander back to your childhood. Remember what you used to do to have fun especially those times you especially treasured. When you were allowed to daydream or do whatever you wanted, what did you choose to do? Try to answer these questions: What sorts of things attracted and fascinated you when you were a kid?What sense smell, sight, hearing, taste, touch did you live through most? Or did you enjoy them all equally? What kinds of sensory experiences do you remember best?What did you love to do (or daydream about), no matter how silly or unimportant it might seem now? Did you have secret aspirations and fantasies that you never told anyone about? After thirty minutes of unstructured reverie, ask yourself a couple of questions. First, do you feel like theres a part of you that still loves the things you loved as a child? What do you miss most? Next, ask yourself what talents or abilities these childhood dreams and passions might point to in the present. What can you do today to reconnect with some of who you were as a kid? As I mentioned, I enjoyed this exercise. Although you dont have to, I wrote down what I liked as a kid: When I was a kid, I loved the outdoors. I loved to run and play outside. We lived in a small trailer house but were surrounded by acres and acres of land. We had freedom to romp across the fields, explore the nearby woods and orchards, and to browse the banks of the creeks. My favorite family vacations were those that involved camping. (Unfortunately, there werent many.) I loved looking at the insects and the plants. I liked digging in the dirt. I liked finding bones and rocks and shards of glass. I enjoyed playing games outside tag, dirt clod fights, whatever. I especially liked building forts. I liked going down to the big tree and hanging out under its branches. Yes, theres still a part of me that loves this sort of thing. I think thats one of the reasons Ive come to treasure the morning walks with the dog. Its an opportunity for me to explore the same stretch of ground over and over and over again. I truly enjoy watching how the woods and fields change a little every day. And thats probably one of the big reasons I enjoyed the RV trip. It forced me to connect to the world outside in a big way. What talents and abilities might this interest point to? Im not sure really. Who Do You Think You Are? This activity is short but effective. On a blank piece of paper, spend 5-10 minutes answering the question: Who do you think you are? How would you describe yourself to a total stranger? Be objective. What are most important characteristics that define your identity? There arent any right or wrong answers here, and theres only one rule: Dont overthink this. Put down the first and surest answers that come into your head, the ones that make you say, This is me. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] Focus on Five Well explore the next exercise in greater depth next week when I write about goals. Youll find a version of this in nearly every book on productivity or positive psychology. This version is taken from Angela Duckworths Grit (which in turn borrowed it from billionaire Warren Buffett, who may have taken it from Alan Lakein). Heres how it works: Write down a list of your top twenty-five goals (or more). This might seem impossible at first, but give it a try. List all of the projects youre currently working on, both at home and at work. List all of the things you want to do but feel like theres no time. List at least twenty-five. More is beter.Next, review your list. Which goals are most appealing? Do some soul-searching it doesnt matter how and narrow the list to the five highest-priority objectives. Just five. Circle them (or copy them to another piece of paper).Lastly, look at the goals you didnt circle. These you avoid at all costs, writes Duckworth. Theyre what distract you; they eat away time and energy, taking your eyes from the goals that matter more. Harsh but true. If you need help prioritizing your goals it can be tough to sort through so many! rate each one on a scale of 1 to 10 based both on how interesting it is and how important it is. Then multiply those numbers together. For instance, if one of your goals has an interest rating of 9 (very interesting) and an importance rating of 3 (not that important), its score would be 27. Compare the scores. Higher is better. Duckworth says that she would add a fourth step to Buffetts exercise. Ask yourself: To what extent do these goals serve a common purpose? The more closely aligned your top five goals are, the better youll be able to focus on your passion (or purpose). When I write about goals next week, Ill ask you to do a different version of this exercise drawn from Sonja Lyubomirskys The How of Happiness. A Letter to the Future Heres another exercise thats common in self-help manuals. Youre going to contemplate and describe the personal legacy youd like to leave in this world. Think about how you want to be remembered by your grandchildren or great-grandchildren. (If youre childless like me, youll have to pretend.) In the form of a first-person letter, write a summary of your life, values, and accomplishments as youd like them known to your descendants. Pretend like youre near the end of your life and want to share the greatest hits version of your personal story for posterity. One common way to approach this is to pretend youre writing your own obituary. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey offers the following variation: In your minds eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where youve been involved in service. Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Make no mistake: This can be a powerful exercise. Tear-inducing, even. Thats okay. By thinking about how youd like people to remember you in the future, after youre gone, you can take steps to align your present self and actions with that ideal vision. 20 Things You Like to Do Heres another exercise from Barbara Shers Wishcraft. She says she borrowed it from Sid Simons Values Clarification. To begin, list twenty things you like to do. You must come up with twenty. Thats the only rule. Dont cop out and make a list of four things you like to do. Or twelve. List at least twenty. (You can write down more, if you like.) Now youre going to make a chart. Take a fresh piece of paper. Down the left side of the page, in the first column of the chart, copy your list of twenty things you like to do. (The order is completely unimportant.) Now, across the top of the page create 8-10 columns. Label them like this (you might have to write tiny): How long since you last did this activity? Free or costs money? Alone or with somebody? Planned or spontaneous? Job related? Physical risk? Fast-paced or slow-paced? Mind, body, or spiritual? Feel free to add other categories that occur to you. (At home or in the world? Spouse likes also? Enjoyed a decade ago? Whatever. Its your list.) Now go through your chart and fill it out for each of your interests. What patterns emerge? What do these patterns tell you about your self and life? To illustrate what this chart ought to look like, I did the exercise myself. It was enlightening. And it took me longer to complete than I expected. I could come up with sixteen things I like to do, but expanding the list to twenty was tough. Heres a screenshot of my list. (Because Im a nerd, I used a spreadsheet instead of a piece of paper.)

Kind of sad (and hilarious) to note that this list is in the order I thought of things. So, that means computer games came to mind as something that I like to do before sex did. Yikes! Looking at my list, it seems like I do a pretty good job of doing the things I like to do. Not perfect but good. Theres also a good balance of free activities vs. activities that cost money, and an even divide between social and alone time. But its clear that most of the things I like to do are spontaneous, not work-related, mental, and most of all slow. The only activity on my list thats truly adrenaline-inducing is riding my motorcycle. Who Do You Want to Be? This exercise is based on a conversation I had with my friend Tyler Tervooren. On a blank piece of paper, make a list of qualities and habits youd like to develop. Do you want to ride your bicycle every morning? Do you want to be more patient with your children? Do you want to be more helpful to your co-workers? Do you want to read the Bible every day? Do you want to drink less alcohol? It doesnt matter what order you write these in. Take as long as you need to make your list. When youve finished, reframe each item using the following format: I am the kind of man who [blank] where [blank] is the habit or quality youre trying to develop. (And obviously, if youre a woman please reframe each of these as I am the sort of woman who [blank].) For example, if you wrote down that youd like to get in the habit of waking 10,000 steps every day, you might reframe that as: I am the kind of woman who walks 10,000 steps every day. Or, better: I am the kind of woman who walks everywhere she can. If one of your aims is to talk less about yourself and pay more attention to others, you might write: I am the kind of man who listens first and talks second. Im genuinely interested in what others have to say. Now copy each of these sentences onto an index card one for each habit. Place these index cards by your bedside. Every morning when you wake up, train yourself to look at these cards first thing. Read through all of them to remind yourself of the habits and qualities youd like to develop. Finally, choose one to make your focus for that day. Keep it in mind as you go about your normal routine, and do your best to live up to the affirmation. Tyler says this habit helped him make real and lasting changes to his life. He built new habits to replace some of the tendencies that had been giving him trouble.

Who You Might Have Been Imagine you grew up with all of the resources financial, emotional, educational you could have possibly wanted or needed. Your interests were encouraged and fostered. You had help and encouragement in all that you did. You werent limited by time or money or location. In a perfect world, what do you think you would be doing now? What would you already have done? What kind of person would you be? Think big. Be as extravagant and far-fetched as youd like. Whats the one big dream you would have pursued if everything had gone your way? If you really would have wanted to become President, then say youd be President. If you would have become a movie star, say youd be a movie star. Dont hold back. Let your imagination fly free in whatever direction it desires. Dont pull any punches. Answer truthfully. Describe what this ideal life might look like. [This exercise also comes from Wishcraft.] The Ideal Schedule In David James Duncans The River Why, Gus, the main character, decides at a young age that in an ideal world he would fish 14-1/2 hours per day. Hes still in high school when he formulates the following plan: The Ideal 24-Hour Schedule sleep: 6 hoursfood consumption: 30 min. (between casts or while plunking, if possible)school: 0 hours!bath, stool, etc.: 15 min. (unavoidable)housework and miscellaneous chores: 30 min. (yards unnecessary; dust not unhealthy; utilitarian neatness easily accomplished)nonangling conversation: 0 hrs.transportation: 45 min. (live on good fishing river)gear maintenance/fly-tying/rod-building/log-keeping, etc.: 1 hr. 30 min.fishing time: 14-1/2 hrs. per day! Then, in true money boss fashion, Gus brainstorms ways he can pursue his purpose: Ways to Actualize Ideal Schedule finish school; no college!move alone to year-round stream (preferably coastal)avoid friendships, anglers not excepted (wastes time with gabbing)experiment with caffeine, nicotine, to eliminate excess sleepdo all driving, shopping, gear preparation, research, etc. after dark, saving daylight for fishing only Result (allowing for unforeseeable interruptions): 4,000 actual fishing hrs. per year!!! I love it. (And I intend to use this example in future talks, so be prepared.) Gus knows his purpose and by brainstorming his ideal schedule, hes able to figure out ways to put this dream into action. In Wishcraft, Barbara Sher suggests a similar exercise. Heres how it works. Grab paper and pen. Seclude yourself somewhere quiet. Close your eyes. Imagine your ideal day. Imagine a day that would be perfect if it represented your usual days not a vacation day. Just a regular, average day if your schedule were ideal. Spend a few minutes visualizing what such a day would look and feel like. Once your ideal schedule begins to become clear, write down what its like in the present tense and in detail from getting up in the morning to going to sleep at night. I might say, for instance: I wake up at 5:30 already in my gym clothes. I grab a piece of fruit, hop on my bike, and ride to the gym. I do an hour of Crossfit. I ride home, grab the dog, and take her for a walk. When we get back to the house at around 8:30, I spend four hours writing about money. And so on. As you write about your ideal day, think about the following: Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you have for breakfast? Do you make it yourself or does somebody bring it to you? Do you take a long, hot bath? Or do you take a cold, bracing shower? What clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? How do you spend your afternoon? How do you spend your evenning? At each time of the day, are you indoors or outdoors? Quiet or active? With people or alone? As you envision your ideal schedule, focus on what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work? What kind of play? Dont limit yourself. If youd like to sing or sail but dont know how, in this fantasy you do know how.Where are you? What kind of place, space, and situation? Are you on a farm in rural England? In a New York office building? On a sailboat in the South Pacific? In a fully-equipped workshop? Again, youre not on vacation. Youre imagining a normal day but an ideal day. Where are you?Who are you with? Who do you work with? Who do you live with? Who do you talk with? Who do you sleep with? Maybe its the same people you work and sleep with already. Maybe its somebody else. Let your imagination go. Dont put down only what you think is possible put down the kind of day youd like to live if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means, and all the powers and skills youve ever wished for. Note: Before (or after) you complete the ideal day exercise, you might find it useful to figure out how you actually spend your time right now. For that, I suggest performing a week-long time inventory. On the advice of Paula Pant, I tracked my time last summer and it was very enlightening. It helped me see where I was frittering away my minutes and hours. For more info and instructions on doing a time inventory, visit Laura Vanderkams website where you can grab free downloadable PDF forms and spreadsheets to help track your time in fifteen-minute increments. What Color Are You? This exercise from Wishcraft is for the more right-brained artistic folks. You analytic engineer types might not like it. (On the other hand, it might be good for you to actually complete it!) Heres how it works. Choose a color that represents you. It might be your favorite color or it might not. It ought to be a color that, at this moment, feels like you. The best way to do this is to have an array of colors in front of you. If you have a box of crayons, go get it. If not, heres a page with a bunch of colors. Youre now going to role-play that color. You are going to pretend you are that color. Youre going to think like that color, speak like that color, act like that color. Take a sheet of paper. Write: I am red or I am orange or I am carnation blue. Do not say I like blue because or I think blue is. For the rest of this exercise, you are that color. Now, in a few sentences to a few paragraphs, describe what qualities you have as that color not as yourself. For instance: I am dark blue. Im quiet and deep like the ocean. Or: I am yellow. Im bright and cheerful, intelligent and warm. There are no right answers to this exercise. If youre black, be black! I think Suzanne Vegas Small Blue Thing is a great example of what you might do with this activity. [embedded content] What color am I? Im orange, of course. The 14-Word Description This exercise comes from my friend Amy Jo. Several years ago, she did a photo project in which she took portraits of people she knew. Before each session, she asked the subject: What are the fourteen words that best describe you? For our purposes, I want you to brainstorm as many words as possible to describe who you are. You should come up with a minimum of fourteen, but its better to brainstorm more. Dont ask others to describe you. Your aim here is to describe yourself. How do you see yourself? If you come up with more than fourteen words to describe yourself, narrow the list to only the fourteen that fit you best. Lastly, for each word write a short sentence that describes why you chose it. For instance, if one of your words was athletic, your descriptive sentence might be, I enjoy playing sports and being outdoors. Here are the fourteen words I chose to describe myself six years ago. (Theyre all still accurate.) Adventurous I love to try new things.Creative I love to make new things.Curious I love to learn new things.Evolving Im a different man today than I was yesterday.Independent I make and act on my own decisions.Intelligent I am smart.Playful I like to joke and jest.Positive I look on the bright side.Resourceful I search for ways to get things done.Sociable I enjoy the company of others.Tenacious I pursue my goals with vigor.Unguarded I share myself freely, and I accept the word of others.Versatile I am good at many things.Zealous Im passionate about my friends and hobbies. Heres one of the portraits from our 14-words photo shoot. I look so serious!

When I gave Amy Jo my list, she made an interesting observation. When adults do this exercise, their words are always positive, she told me. But when kids do it, they describe themselves using both positive and negative words. Its as if theyre more aware of their shortcomings or at least more willing to admit them. Three Questions about Life Planning Last of all, heres the exercise I use most often. The father of the life-planning movement, George Kinder, is a certified financial planner and the author of The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. To identify and clarify your direction in life, Kinder suggests thinking about three hypothetical situations: Imagine that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? What would you do with the money?Now imagine that you visit the doctor and she tells you that you have 5-10 years left to live. She says that you wont feel sick, but youll have no notice of the moment of your death. What would you do in the time you have left? Would you change your life? How?Finally, imagine your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours left to live. If you only had a day remaining, what dreams would you leave unfulfilled? What would you wish you had finished? What would you wish you had done or been? What would you have missed? These questions which are based on the work of time-management guru Alan Lakein are powerful tools for figuring out what you want out of life. If you take the time to really ponder them and answer them honestly, they can help you clarify your personal values and set meaningful goals. Over the past five years, Ive shared this exercise with hundreds of people. Many who took it seriously have written to tell me it changed their lives. It changed my life too. Maybe itll change yours. Recommended Reading In this article, Ive done my best to credit sources. A couple of these exercises are my own the hundred-word exercise, for instance but most are not. Most are borrowed from books. But there are plenty of excellent books out there that can help you figure out what you want out of life even if they dont ask readers to fill out forms our meditate on whats important. Victor Frankls classic Mans Search for Meaning, for example, is a work that almost everyone refers to. Its a ground-breaking short book about how to find purpose even under the worst circumstances. But it doesnt contain any reader homework. Here then are a few of my favorite purpose-related books. You might like them too: To my mind, however, the best book on this subject is relatively new: Angela Duckworths Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. This was my favorite book of 2016. If I could make it required reading, I would. Its that good. Ive listend to the audio version nearly a dozen times (including yesterday during my 21-hour trip home from Florida). Grit is dense with information and ideas. Duckworth makes a convincing argument that passion and perseverance or, in Money Boss lingo, purpose and patience are the best predictors of success. If you can hone in on a single top-level purpose then doggedly pursue it, your life will be filled with meaning and happiness. Great stuff. I hope to publish a review of the book sometime soon. As I said at the start, your purpose is your compass. Its your mission. Its what gives your life direction and meaning. To support your purpose, however, youve got to set up a personal action plan built around a hierarchy of goals. Next week, Ill share some thoughts (and exercises) on how to set goals and structure life to pursue your purpose. How do you put your personal misson statement to use? Well talk about that in just a few days. In the meantime: Tell me about your purpose. What is it? Do you have a personal mission statement? Which of these exercises do you find effective? Are there others that are better? Shares 298 https://www.getrichslowly.org/finding-purpose/

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Massages from around the world – Weird, wonderful & whacky

Massages from around the world – Weird, wonderful & whacky

Everyone has had a massage before, whether it’s your bog standard Swedish style or something a little more touchy feely if you know I mean… Either way, most people have experienced first-hand the delights and wonders of massage in any form. Massage is an ancient ritual and was established thousands of years ago in Asia. Over the years, this sacred practice has adapted; hybrid styles have emerged and people have used their imaginations to create new styles. That’s all well and good obviously, but some people just have to take it too far don’t they? There is nothing wrong with being creative, but it’s safe to say that some idiots from across the world have gone a little OTT with experimentation. It’s almost a competition to see who can invent the most ridiculous massage style. Although the list is seemingly endless, we have gone to the effort of narrowing down our favourite weird massage styles from around the globe. Some call them revolutionary, I just call them down right stupid to be honest; but I’ll let you be the judge of that…

Python massage

Okay, so imagine it. You’ve been sightseeing all day and you’re aching in places you didn’t even know existed. You’re offered a massage- are you going to turn it down? Of course you aren’t, it’s exactly what you need right now. Or is it?… Cebu City Zoo in the Philippines is a tourist hotspot, but also attracts people from across the world for a different reason. Lunatics from around the globe don’t just come to the zoo to see animals; they come to get up close and personal with them. Well, the Pythons, to be exact. Cebu City Zoo’s notorious Python massage is arguably one of the strangest massage styles on the planet, and is probably a living nightmare for most people. Four giant Burmese Pythons, weighing a massive 250kg collectively are placed on a brave ass mother f***** and left to slither around as they please. The pythons, named Walter, Daniel, Michelle and EJ are fed about 10 chickens each before the massage to curb their hunger pains. No human for dessert then? The session is said to last around 10-15 minutes and is apparently very therapeutic and calming; each to their own. I’d rather not tempt 4 man-eating snakes to have a bite…

Cactus Massage

When it comes to spa treatments, we are all spoiled for choice. There’s a treatment for absolutely everything- literally. When you’re on holiday or out of town for business, exploring luxury treatments is a given- but would you be willing to take a risk on potentially waste a load of money on something unconventional? If your answer is yes, take a trip to the Four Seasons’ hotel in Punta Mita, Mexico and give their famous Hakali cactus massage a go. Before you ask, this isn’t an ancient form of acupuncture- the needles are removed before the session and only the paddles (the leaves) are used. The paddles are heated in warm water and are split in half once soft. The gooey side is then rubbed onto the skin, helping to heal sunburns, hydrating the skin and banishing toxins. And the best part is, the nopal juice absorbs quickly into the skin and doesn’t leave you feeling greasy or sticky after the session- result! Sounds pretty good if you ask me!

The meat cleaver massage

Is it just me, or does this sound like something out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre? No, this terrifying massage wasn’t inspired by horror movies; it was actually invented in China and dates back to 770BC! The session, which typically only lasts around 10 minutes, begins when the brave participant lays face down on the massage table. The masseuse/butcher look-a-like then uses the SHARP side of the 10” blade and gently begins to knead and tap the skin with the cleaver. However, these massages aren’t necessarily sought out for muscle release- it’s more of a spiritual style. It is believed that the steel can help to remove ‘negative energy’ from the body, and can encourage deeper sleep and better circulation. Okay, so maybe it isn’t as scary as I thought, and it only costs around $7 a session- bargain. Maybe you’ve pulled my leg…

Gondola Massage

Everyone dreams of experiencing the picturesque and sickeningly dreamy sites that Venice has to offer; after all, it is the most romantic city in the world. But, if bopping along the city’s’ famous canals in a gondola wasn’t good enough already, imagine getting a massage at the same time? Sign me up right away! Yes, Gondola massage is now a thing, and it’s safe to say people have lost their shit over it. At the Casanova Spa at the Hotel Cipriani, Venice offers these sensational massage experiences for any relaxation-seeker with a few hundred euros lying around. Easy. The massage is conducted in a private gondola with a trained masseuse and gondolier at hand, and is performed on the beautiful waters of the ancient city. As the massage focuses mainly on the feet, hands and upper part of the body, you don’t have to worry about passers-byers having a cheeky peek at your goodies. Afraid you’ll fry under the sun? Don’t worry; the massage oil used during the session was specifically designed to contain SPF protection agents- so no sunburn today kids. Get me there right now!

Elephant massage

Have you had a stressful couple of weeks and need a massage to let off some steam? If you’re feeling a little tense, why not commission an elephant to sort it out for you? No, we don’t mean some middle aged masseuse on Craigslist, we mean an actual elephant, believe it or not. A tourist park in Chiang Mai, Thailand advertises these chancy massages to any courageous volunteers with balls of steel. Of course, the elephants have been trained to delicately press their feet on the backs of the subjects, and also sometimes use their trunks to lightly manipulate the muscles. Don’t get me wrong, I love elephants, but I don’t fancy the idea of one standing on me. The fact this massage is free says it all!

African snail massage

If you’re obsessed with turning back the clock and preventing ageing as much as possible, then you’ll probably have all of the latest fad creams on the market. But how do you fancy giving snail slime a go? Anything for youthful, soft skin, right? Believe it or not, salons across the world are using this bizarre technique all in the name of beauty. This rather unusual facial was created by a French bloke a couple of years ago who claimed that snails are full of collagen. As such, having these gross little critters sliding all over your face can actually work wonders for the skin and its elasticity. This apparently, ‘relaxing’ massage/facial is meant to feel god damn amazing- that is after you’re able to get over the fact smarmy insects are probably crapping on your face. I’m going to pass, thanks.

Tickling massage

If you’re anything like me, you’ll find being tickled to be the worst form of torture known to man. Seeing a finger float towards my neck literally sends fear pulsating through my body. Unbeknown to me, however, not everyone shares the same dislike as I do. In fact, some people pay for it (weirdoes). Tickling massage is a thing, and for me, it is a manifestation of my worst nightmares. This tormenting massage style originated in Madrid, Spain and is performed in order to reduce stress. Using delicate finger tips and soft feathers, masseuses gently trace down the clients’ back and other areas, and adapt their routine depending on how ticklish each person is. The more ticklish, the more sensitive their routine becomes etc. Personally, I’d rather not pay a stranger $35 to torture me, but if this sounds like your kind of thing, be my guest. It’s your funeral!

Flames massage

Oddly enough, setting fire to yourself isn’t as bad as people seem to think- well, not when it comes to Flame massage, anyway. This rather fiery form of massage is not for the faint hearted, that’s for sure- but if you’re brave enough to get hot and steamy, then you’re in for a treat. Originating in China, Flame massage is very popular during the winter in traditional, Chinese hospitals and it used to prevent illnesses such as flu and colds. Typically, masseurs sprinkle towels with a flammable substance (usually alcohol) and then set it on fire. The towel is then placed on the client, and is then eventually put out using another towel. Surprisingly, the massage isn’t at all painful and is actually meant to be great for losing weight? The term, ‘burning fat’ has never been truer!

Massages by the blind

When you’re investing money into a luxury, you should never go into it blind. At least, you shouldn’t- but your masseuse might. Believe it or not, ‘blind massage parlours’ are insanely popular in China- so much so, it is believed that there’s one on every street block in some areas. The massage itself is pretty standard in many regards, and still focuses on relieving muscle tension and inducing relaxation. However, creator Ly Yuan says that blind massage is better because, “giving a good massage is dependent on a person’s tactile sensitivity. Obviously, blind people have a strong advantage in this.” If you say so Yuan, if you say so.

Pancake massage

Well, what would you know? Finally a massage with sense behind it! I mean, I don’t actually know what a hot pancake could do for the skin, but does that really matter? You’re covered in pancakes- that’s all I need to know! But seriously guys, pancake massage is an actual thing, and its meant to be pretty good. Essentially, fresh, hot pancakes are applied directly to the skin which is said to help tackle fatigue, nourish the skin and banish excess fluid. Practitioners of this tasty massage treatment also claim that it improves bloody circulation but maintaining proper body heat and utilising natural flour for healing properties. Sounds like a load of crap if you ask me, but count me in!

Egg massage

Oh my god seriously? Guys, my head if seriously scrambled now. I wish I was kidding, but im not- ‘Egg massage’ is a thing, and it’s more popular then you’d think. This style originated in china (obviously) and is practiced more for superstition purposes as opposed to healing ones. In China, they believe that it is good luck for a father to give his child a head massage with eggs after the baby has had a haircut. Traditional belief dictates that on the second day of the Lunar month, the egg-massage is said to bring good luck and fortune. I’m just going to stick to fortunate cookies I think guys, I don’t know about you.

Thankfully that concludes our list of weird and not-so-wonderful massage styles from around the world. I myself will stick to the more traditional styles; after all, I don’t really fancy being set on for, eaten by a deadly python, being tickled to death and being squashed flat by an elephant. Oh, and don’t forget about being smothered head to toe in smelly egg. No thank you. I’ll stick to something less eccentric I think…

If you’d like to book in for a massage that’s a little out of the ordinary but not too wild, why not consider an Oriental massage with a trained professional? If you’d like to be pampered and pleasured by a gorgeous Asian masseuse at a time and a place that suits you, then give us a call on the telephone number below or come visit us at our address:

Hotel Massage London Jermyn St St James’s London SW1Y 6JD 07818115228

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