#also too many people see him as a man (or this relationship as het: DIE) that my point still stands | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedeviljudges · 3 years

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Re. Soohyun - if her death does turn out to be connected to her investigation, then imo I'm okay with that because (within the show's narrative) it would be a result of her own actions/choices, in line with her characterisation, e.g. charging in on her own, not thinking of her own safety, risking it all for justice, etc., and unrelated to her relationship to the male character, rather than just someone hurting her to hurt him. She still retains agency, just with tragic consequences. (1/2)

And yes there are legit criticisms to be made re. the writing of SH's character, but in the rush to do so some ppl seem to be overlooking the rest of the female characters - Elijah, JJ, Sun-ah and Cha Kyung-hee (love em or hate em!), who imo are all well-written, fascinating and strong in different ways. Yes CKH died, but she went out on her own terms in a way fitting to her character and even in death made more of an impact than any of her weaselly male counterparts! (2/2)

I agree with this; although the one small part I will play devil’s advocate with is the fact that the only reason Soohyun continued her and Gaon’s investigation into Yohan is because she doesn’t trust Yohan who has Gaon under his thumb. So, I suppose indirectly, it’s still about Gaon because she’s trying to persuade her friend not to trust Yohan and whatever she found could’ve been the key.

The thing is, Gaon tells her before they leave his house that they can continue looking for evidence about Yohan after they deal with the rising violent situation. But she doesn’t listen, so that truly does align with her character in terms of pride and self-righteousness.

Then again, even if it is indirectly about keeping Gaon safe, the entire thing is still a mystery and she did have agency to go out and try to discover it on her own without being tied to Gaon in that way, so I’ll give it that for sure. She, at the very least, had one thing for herself this episode outside of Gaon. And to your point, which I think is so true: someone hurt her specifically for her nosiness rather than in relation to Gaon. As fucked up as it is to say it, I do hope that’s the reason she was taken out, and the more I think about it, I think the more plausible it is, especially given how charged the preview for episode 14 is.

To your second part: I think it’s easy for people get so hung up on one female character dying because of how the film industry/writers treat them in general. Which is a totally understandable response to have. Women die off for male characters as a narrative device, for them to learn, grow and continue carrying out the plot, and it’s a nasty trope.

The thing is, we can’t avoid women’s death in film because then that’s just too unrealistic. I wish we were given more with Soohyun, that she could’ve been fleshed out and not just a plot device, that she could’ve been way more well-rounded like all the other women/men on the show, but sadly that’s just not the case. I don’t know if the writers just got ahead of themselves with the plot and were like ‘oh shit, gotta do something with her’ or what.

But with that said, you do have a point that there are other women on this show. It’s all about subversion of tropes. We see it with Gaon (he is a female character through and through); we see it with the minister, with Sunah, etc. I know it’s easy to also blame the writers for killing off Kunghee as a female character, but also tell me how many women we’ve seen on screen make a choice about their own death??? To me, her death was profound because she made the decision - she ultimately represented what it means to be pushed to the limit, and that can happen with anyone. She did so not because of a man but because she knew she was backed up against a wall by literally everyone; that makes sense to me.

And Elijah. I’m truly so happy with her, especially because she hasn’t fallen victim to normal teenage tropes and shit. She’s smart and witty. She’s still a teenager that back talks. Given she is confined to the house for safety reasons, she’s still so fleshed out, which tells you a lot in comparison to Soohyun.

And even further, I don’t think any show can every truly be perfect, and faulting it for having some errors is just going to be normal no matter what. Humans make human mistakes, even in the content we create. I recognize that completely. It’s easy to write lines and lines about how Soohyun was failed as a female character, and I think that’s normal to write about, just as it is for any other character, but after that, it’s important to sit back and breathe and just remind yourself that no perfection exists regardless of what should or could have been done.

Unfortunately, it is what it is, and that’s how the show will forever be cemented. And this is why I haven’t made too many posts about Soohyun because there’s nothing I can do outside of it aside from trying to dissect what little information we have about her character in relation to the themes and tropes of the plot.

All of this to say, I do hope we’re right in that even in death it can mean something. I think the friendship component was such a mishandled thing and it had so much potential. Everyone cries about how gays make shit things unnecessarily gay, but we never ask why hets do the same thing. Why does every m/w have to be romantic? Where are the friendships??

For what we do have, flaws and all, I'm happy with their exploration of tropes, how they've mixed it up, especially for genders. They've done a phenomenal job despite a few hiccups - how many shows can say the same??

But yes, I totally agree with all of your points!!! They’re very valid.

#x #the devil judge #answered #anonymous #getting to your other ones in a bit!!!#i totally dont mind the discussion at all #the weekends are reserved for me just thinking about this show tbh lmao

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captain-aralias · 3 years

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Life stuff

this feels kind of weird, because i’ve never used my tumblr like this, but i would have written something on my livejournal, and i want people to know - i just dont want to have to tell people about it, or really talk about it at all.

but i also wanted to write this, idk.

(TW: impending death of a parent)

my mum has cancer.

it’s a rare form of cancer, called peritoneal cancer, which is similar to but different from ovarian cancer - i think it mostly gets diagnosed (like my mum’s) when it’s too late to do anything about it. all the treatment has been palliative only i.e. letting her live as long and as comfortably as possible.

she was diagnosed in september last year - about a year ago, a few months after running the ‘virtual’ london marathon on the isle of wight, where she lives, and obviously deep in lockdown.

as someone undergoing chemo, she was deemed extremely vulnerable to covid, and so she spent most of the early pandemic isolating. she also said she didn’t see any point in my brother and i visitng her, particularly given the risks, because we could talk via facetime - which is fair enough - all of which meant my brother and i didn’t go to visit her until May this year, after she’d done the first lot of chemo and was already doing much better again.

a few months after that, we found out that while she’d responded really well to the chemo, her cancer wasn’t responding at all to the maintenance drugs that were suposed to stop it coming back, so she came off the drugs completely. medical advice was basically chemo is as effective whenever you do it, so you might as well enjoy your life for a while, we’ll monitor it every month, and when things start to get too bad, we’ll put you back in chemo.

it’s friday tomorrow - so two fridays ago, i saw my mum in london after she’d just seen hamilton with her partner, graham. both of them loved hamilton. her hair had grown back, she seemed pretty normal. about a week later, she was in A&E - and she’s been in the hospital all week. she’s got a total bowel obstruction, which means she can’t eat and hasn’t eaten since last week.

now in a weird situation where there are a few tricky, difficult options (including being moved off the island back onto the mainland to a bigger hospital) that will mean that she stays alive long enough to get the chemo, which will probably get her back to hamilton-watching strength, or ... she could die really soon. like, in a few days.

we can’t visit. her partner can’t visit because covid - there’s this really sad-making photo of him looking happy on the phone through a window to my mum, also on the phone, inside the hospital.

i feel...

???? :( :( :( ....

i guess this is the main point of the post. i’m not writing this crying, i’m writing it pretty neutrally - because my brain isn’t really processing it right now, and mostly doesn’t process it.

i did cry earlier today while on the phone to various people, and then i went back to work. i hate crying, i hate being sad, and i dont like people comforting me, because it makes me realise that i have something to be sad about.

i’ve known she had cancer for a year. i haven’t been able to hang out with her most of that time. i would say, we are fairly close, although not nearly as close as some families. we don’t talk every week, but we talk regularly, and have seen each other regularly.

i’m so incredibly privileged that nothing that bad has ever happened to me, even though i’m 35. i’ve never been to a funeral, which seemed like a major life win and now i think was a mistake, i should have gone to funerals for people i card about less to help get used to it.

the literal only comparison i have to how i feel is when my cat Anton died suddenly about 3 years ago - i handled it with a mix of not thinking about it, being intensely sad for as brief a period as i could, and probably by thinking about how sad my girlfriend was about it, and sort of sidestepping my own feelings in comparison.

i remember when my last remaining grandparent died - and i was about 14 or something - i wasn’t sad for myself, i was only sad for her my dad being sad. for ages, i worried that i was not going to be sad enough about this - and i still sort of am.

but i also passionately hate the idea of being sad and i know i’ll look to avoid it as much as possible, and try and get on with my life.

i know my mum dying isn’t about me - when people write after death it’s about the person who died, obviously. that makes sense. but this post isn’t about my mum, who is a very cool person, much cooler than me - it’s about me. because i am self-obsessed and this is going to wreck my life for a while.

it’s weird, because i can see it on the horizon but it’s not happening yet. and i dont know whether that’s good or bad - i feel like it’s good, in a way. someone ages ago told me that the grieving period starts when you get the news. that seems very true to me - but also, i know that it’s going to ramp up, and so i’m like in the expectation of true grief right now.

it’s sort of like she died, but also is still going to die, but also i can magically still talk to her. which is really nice, in a way, it’s like a second chance, because i know i didn’t reach out enough before she had cancer. and i’m aware enough of my own actions that i know this is what’s been going on in my head the past year - i should reach out more, because she has cancer, but i dont want to make it seem like i’m reaching out because she has cancer, even though she knows i know she has cancer....... and also, i’m busy writing this fic. /o\

the fact that she seemed to recover (even though my mum insisted on saying ‘i am not recovered, i’m going to die soon’ like several time as a day as a disclaimer) also totally messed with my head, because i knew logically - ok, it’s happening. but also, things seemed so normal when we speak. even when i called her today, and she hasn’t eaten for a week, it seemed normal.

btw - i realised this week i had no idea how cancer killed people. my mum is a scientist and has looked up all kinds of things about what’s killing her; i’m clearly a simon snow and didn’t want to think about things i can’t help. if you’d asked me, i’d have said like... it poisons you or something, or blocks bloodflow to your brain. not what i think will actually do it which is.... starvation. or being too weak to survive being pumped full of the poison that is intended to kill the cancer. (that one i guess i could have predicted.) man - cancer sucks. i mean, we all knew it.

(i failed to get into cambridge university at interview stage, many years ago. the man who interviewed me gave me some extremely memorable feedback, which is that i needed to dial back the ‘defensive irony’ - which i thnk in that context meant i put myself down and tried to make a joke of everything. i remember when i got the phonecall to say Anton, my cat, was dead, i literally did not know what to do with my voice - because my instinct was to try and make the vet feel better, and also to present myself as bright and capable, and yet this unexpected and devasting news had just come through. rainbow wrote something sort of similar because she’s a good writer, for shepard as he tells penny about his curse. i feel like that.)

what else did i want to say?

i thought i had more time. ‘hamilton’ will probably always be tied to this moment in my mind, because of how much i’ve spoken to my mum about it in the past few weeks (i sent her the remix - she liked it, she listened to it in hospital while trying to drink more than 100ml of fluids) but yeah - this is basically a line from hamilton here. whatever. don’t make me feel my own feelings, let me just quote things. i dont like my own feelings. (no, i dont want to go to therapy - they’d make me talk about my feelings all the time, i’m british for god’s sake.)

i’m 35 - my mum is 68. i didn’t think she’d die this early or that i’d have to deal with this yet. but then i also don’t think bad things are ever going to happen to me - because mostly they haven’t, see above. i wear a mask and am double vaccinated because i’m not an asshole, but i dont really believe i’ll get covid because bad things don’t happen to me. i didn’t think my mum would die - maybe ever, but definitely not yet. she’s been retired a decade after teaching (science) and has enjoyed it.

i thought i had time to not have kids yet - which is the other thing (like hamilton) that this moment is really tied up with for me. i feel like 35 is getting quite old, but also not that old to still not have kids, but intend to maybe have them. my feelings about kids were basically like - up until like 25, i thought, yes, definitely. i mean, before i had a realtiosnhip (22-ish), i just assumed i would probably have a het marriage and have kids etc, like people do, but after that we were still talking, yes, children at some point.

didn’t prioritise it for a few reasons - none of my close friends had children until quite recently, so it just didn’t seem like an urgent thing in the way that it probably does for people with different friendship groups. waiting to be settled enough in a job to be able to take maternity leave without it feeling like a rip off for my employer. waiting for a good time in erin’s PhD writing cycle. and then pandemic. and then a few years ago, maybe as i turned 30, i thought - maybe we won’ have kids, because we still haven’t - and i vocalised that to erin.

also, i know a lot of people are gay and have children, so it’s not like it’s a thing that is impossible at all, but it’s much much harder if you have to leave your home and your relationship in order to get a child. it has to be a very very conscious decisions. i have friend who are men who have good genes, but we’re not so close i want to ask them for their sperm/to be involved however remotely in making a child - and (i was surprised to discover) (what a lot of things i dont know anything about) you an’t really just buy sperm, it’s not truly legal except through a clinic. and it’s extremely expensive to get inseminated in a clinic, and the NHS don’t really do that, so you do have to pay it. i thought kids would be expensive after they were born, but not before. and i REALLY wanted a house, much much more than - i think even today - i’ve ever wanted a child. i REALLY wanted a house - and now we have a house, and it’s pretty good. but - that’s where the money went, until the pandemic - thanks pandemic - so now we do have some disposable cash at last, because i didn’t commute.

but now erin is worried about climate change - and wheher it’s right to bring more children into the world, and other things. and.... i think i do want to be pregnant, it’s what i’m planning for - don’t leave this job (which admittedly i also really like, and pays me well - i dont thin i need to leave) because next stop maternity leave, but.....

i don’t know whether i am thinking, time ot have kids because my best friend just had a baby (the baby’s name is horatio - for real, i actually love this name) (i also haven’t seen her or the baby except over skype, because anna - my friend - is, like my mother, also scared of pandemic) and my brain is like - ok, well, if anna is doing it, i guess the time is here

AND - i know there’s a large part of me that was like, gotta be pregnant and ideally have the baby before my mum dies so she gets to see that she had a grandchild. my brother and i are both queer, btw, in case you were wondering - he’s considering whether he wants to transition right now (but is still happy with he/him pronouns) and - you may find this astonishing, but i genuinely don’t know whether he’d consider himself ace, or has been in relationships. he’s very private, he has OCD and is in therapy - but anyway, he’s probably not having kids anytime soon (i think!) and graham - my mum’s boyfriend/partner of 10+ years. -has grandchildren, but my extremely middleclass white (but definitely not conservative voters, always 100% not-tory) parents ended up with me and my brother.... and i don’t know, as i say, i don’t know whether my brain is saying ‘have kids before it’s too late’ - although i know by now that it will be too late. even if my mum recovers from this, this time, i don’t think i can produce a child before she dies - and she isn’t asking me too, she’s not like that, but i would have liked her to be there. i thought she would be.

so - i’m thinking about that. also, about getting a dog. i really want a dog - although i don’t want to upset the three cats (one we’ve had for eight years or so, the other two we got after Anton died). it’s ALSO really hard and expensive to get a dog. you’d think with all these ‘a dog isn’t just for the pandemic, a dog is for life’ type adverts around, that it would be easy to adcidentally get a dog - i’ve looked! you ccan’t get a dog unless you have no cats and you’re super experienced and can take a dog with lots of trauma or medical problems, or you’re willing to pay thousands of pounds. like - even for a regular not even pedigree dog - at least a thousand. pedigree dog - several thousand. i dont want a puppy either - i want a dog.

and - this is embarrassing to admit, but i’ve alrady told erin - i genuinely had a phase of being super annoyed when i’d read fics where someone just ‘got a dog’. it’s not that simple!!! it’s fiction, it doesn’t matter - chill out. the baby thing too - although weirdly not fics where magic meant it was possible to get a baby, weirdly it was smut. i had a brief week or so of crazy (and i don’t think i am that crazy) where i’d read about fictional semen and just be like - wtf, it’s so hard to get hold of that shit. (it’s not real, this isn’t real semen being wasted, calm down - and i dont even really know if i want kids, i might just think i do.)

the other thing about the bad thing being soon but not yet (but also being all the time, but not if you dnt think about it) is that i’m thinking - should i prioritise writing my remix now, in case my mum dies and i’m too sad to do it, and then i didn’t do my remix? i was definitely thinking this while writing classroom politics (i hope my mum doesn’t die becaue i dont want to be too sad to miss the deadline) and in the run up to AWTWB .....

today i wrote a list of things for work that would need to be picked up if i have to unexpectedly stop working, either because i’m too sad, or because i have to do funeral stuff, or .... i guess legal stuff about settling the estate. (i guess this happens to a lot of people, too, but it’s also a bit of a mindfuck that my brother and i will inherit her house and a bunch of cash when she dies - i’m pretty well off, my brotehr does virtual reality theatre stuff so really isn’t - we’ve talked about how much easier both of our lives will be with a huge injection of cash, and how we dont know what to feel about that) (great news, dogs and kids are really expensive! time to find out whether i really wanted to spend my money on those.) told people i like at work that it’s coming, and that i dont want to talk about it. and mostly just... carrying on with life, really. until it happens.

it’s so weird how easy it is to carry on most of the time.i know my mum’s partner is not doing nearly so well - he has to cope with an empty house and he’s retired. i’ve had periods - including right now - where i wake up every morning and check my phone to see whehter someone called me or texted me to tell me it’s over. but most of the day i’m actually really fine. i even had an ok day today. and i don’t know whether i want that to be the case, or whether i shouldn’t let myself do that. i dont know what i should prepare for in terms of where i’ll be - will i want lots of stuff to distract me (this is my guess) and work is very good for that, or i will want to clear time and space because i can’t operate and dont want people to offer me comfort. (FYI - this post isn’t written to make people say anything to me, i definitely dont want to talk about it, so please don’t feel you either have to comment or check in on me - i don’t really want you to. it’s enough to have written it, in my own time, in my own space.)

i think i wanted to write this post in a way because i thought i probably wouldnt want to write it after my mum died - because i probably wouldn’t want to say anything about it at all, for a few years.

my mum keeps telling me about the show ‘jane the virgin’ - which she’s half way through. shhe asked me to give it a try, so i did (she often tells me about shows on radio 4, which i rarely listen to. i thouht i had more time.) i’ve watched an episode (because she has cancer, i should listen to her recommendations)(but i dont want her to know that’s why i did it) and i do quite like - it’s light and frothy and well cut together (although about kids and artificial insemination, of course). i guess in a worse case scenario where i’m too sad to work or write, i will probably watch a lot of this show - which is incredibly not sad - and feel sad about how my mum never finished it.

BUT ALSO SHE MIGHT BE OK. for a while.

i dont know how i feel, blargh. anyway. this was a long post. i think i wrote it mostly for me. feelings are weird. covid really sucks and so does cancer.

going to order some chicken and watch inuyasha.

#my content #tw: death #tw: death of a parent #tw: death of a loved one #personal #tw: cancer

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boolproppin · 3 years

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UGH, I want to ask all of them for Adam and Helmi (because they are my favorite) but I will behave and only ask... all the even numbers. akjsdaskdjas I'm sorry I just want to know all the things. ;-;

I will answer all of them for you my friend <3

1. Who’s the one who’s reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out

They are both very level headed, however if one of them got themselves into trouble it would more likely be Adam who would follow his ideals and being a standup guy (unintentionally getting himself into a pickle). Helmi would need to talk some sense into him and help him see the grey area.

2. Who’s the one to send the other “I love my gf/bf” memes

This would so be Adam! He’s only recently learned about memes and gets a pretty good kick out of them. He would absolutely EMAIL them to Helms.

3. Who’s the one who listens to a music genre the other doesn’t like and how does the other react

Helmi listens to indie pop which Adam just can’t seem to get into. He usually has a confused look on his face and then “recommends” putting on some Fleetwood Mac.

4. Which one spoils the other more and do they ever get competitive to show the other more love

Adam! They aren’t competitive though, they both have a very sweet way of spoiling each other in different ways.

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them

This is still up in the air ;)

6. What was their wedding like

IF they got married it would be low key, minimal, and a small group of friends at an outdoor celebration. Their first dance would be to I Only Have Eyes for You by The Flamingos

7. Is their friends/family supportive

Helmi’s family and friends are very supportive of her meeting and starting a relationship with Adam. As far as Adam’s family...ehhhh, but his bestie Rayland is all for him moving forward in his life and being with someone he adores.

8. How does one comfort the other when the other is in distress/having a panic attack/crying

Adam to Helmi: blankets, tea, and cuddles Helmi to Adam: words of affirmation and hugs

9. Which one dissociates

Neither

10. Which one stares at the other’s booty like “damn” and how does the other react when catching them

Adam fo’ sho. Helmi just shakes her head, “there’s nothing even there to stare at!”

11. When they live together what kinda place do they live in? What does their home look like?

Small home with mid-century modern feel.

12. What do their dates look like

Randomness! Adam and Helmi have so much to show each other with the age gap. A night out to the movies ends up being an adventure of watching buskers, stopping at random bazaars, checking out random shops.

13. How does each act when getting drunk

Helmi- flirty and DTF Adam- Sadsies, but easily coaxed into a better mood ;)

14. Which one rolls over in the morning to wake up the other one just to give kiss them

Adam for sure, he’s an old man so he gets up early.

15. Have they saved each other’s lives before

I think they both did in a sense, they aren’t just existing anymore.

16. Does one have an interest the other think is weird but wants to listen to it regardless

Yes! Adam is insanely obsessed with Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks (probably why he just thinks Helms is the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen). Helmi just loves how he lights up and gets excited when talking about them/her.

17. Which one uses cropped hentai as reaction images

NEITHER LMAO

18. Does one of them kinkshame the other

I think Helmi would vanilla shame Adam, “you know they’ve invented more positions since missionary?”

19. Is one of them self conscious about their body? If so how does the other comfort them

They are both pretty content, however I could see Adam getting self conscious if he met some of the models Helmi is around.

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?

My Girl by The Temptations

21. What is their song? Like the song that gives them overwhelming feelings?

Bring It On Home To Me by Sam Cooke

22. What song do they listen to while going on a joyride

Renee by SALES

Adam likes the “hey you got it” part.

23. What kinda joyrides do they go on? Relaxing ones or wild ones?

Relaxing. Visit a small town or go to a beach nearby. Stop by some of the shops along the way.

24. Where would they vacation for a honeymoon

Brindleton Bay

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda

Not at all, they are the couple that holds each others hands or are close to each other, a peck on the cheek or lips.

26. Would they live in the city or the country

Country but not too far from the city.

27. Which ones the red which ones the blue

Helmi is red, Adam blue

28. Are either of them mentally ill, if so how do they help one another cope

Adam has depression and Helmi has anxiety. They help each other by listening, going to counseling, and checking in with each other.

29. Does one have a spot on them where they would melt when the other kisses them there

Helms melts when he kisses her hand.

30. Do they dance together

Oh yes, many an impromptu dance sesh when the record player is on.

31. Do they sing together

Yes and they both are HORRENDOUS singers.

32. Which one is better at cooking than the other and makes most the dinners

Adam is a better cook so he would definitely make more of the dinners.

34. Are they a reckless couple or safe

Safe!

35. What be they kinks and do they try each other’s kinks

Adam would love to do the deed while Helmi wears his lettermans jacket. As for Helmi she loves the thrill of having sex in public. As far as trying each others? We’ll have to see!

36. What would their valentines gifts be to each other

Adam would get the old school boxed valentines cards (the kind you took to elementary school) and would write something sweet along with a box of chocolates. Helmi...probably in his letterman’s jacket waiting for him to come home.

37. Do they get into fights often? If so what do they fight over and how do they make up?

Not often. They would most likely fight about Adam’s idealistic tendencies or insecurities. Making up would consist of apologies and cinnamon rolls.

38. Which ones top, bottom, verse

Het couple so verse?

39. What kinda sex they be having (gentle rough whatever)

Gentle but also a tiny bit rough at times.

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them

Both! No one messes with theirs!

41. Which one has a favorite movie that they have the other watch with them again and again

Helmi does which is 50 First Dates

42. How would one react if the other was to die

Inconsolable. I don’t think either of them would ever move on.

43. Who dies first

Helmi

44. Do they want kids

Adam can’t have children and his only child Rhiannon was conceived with IVF, but that is no longer an option. Helmi is okay with not having children, she’s never considered having her own.

45. How would they spend their last moments together

Dancing while the record player is on.

#simblr ask #simblr ask game #queenofvraquin #THIS WAS SO FUN #THANK YOU <3 #helmi kvalhiem #adam nowak #the nowaks #the kvalhiems #TSS outtake #tss outtakes

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extraordinarilyextreme · 3 years

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Crown Prince Li Kaiqing, Chen Ji, and Fushui

MAJOR spoilers for 《骊歌行》 Court Lady (2021)!!! This is just me blabbing about my feelings.

so we all knew that Crown Prince (CP) and Chen Ji (CJ) were gonna be BE cuz they have historical prototypes. after Chengxin was executed, Li Chengqian grieved for a long time, refusing to attend court and also building a shrine for him in the palaces.

well, even with that knowledge, i still cried like a little baby at the end of the drama. there’s not a single un-sad 感情线 in this entire show, but i really do think that the mess of these three is tragic.

before we dive into the mess that i’ve become, a huge round of applause to Li Zefeng for his amazing portrayal of the Crown Prince—the good-intentioned, sort of foolish boy that we first meet and then later the wide-eyed, paranoid, remorseless man. and of course similar props to Wang Yizhe’s two roles of sweet Chen Ji and scheming Fushui (and Sun Langlang for voicing them! Wang Zhi’s VA!).

so as i’ve already said, CP is really a whole different person after CJ dies. and the contrast between CJ and Fushui (FS) is very plainly evident: CJ dressed in pale white-blue, FS mostly in grey-black; CJ kept his hair loose, FS wears a bun (or hat, when he rises thru the ranks); CJ is a lowly palace entertainer, FS is well-trained in combat and medicine (and ends up as Senior Imperial Physician, somehow); CJ was terrible at weiqi, FS is good at weiqi but pretends to be bad at it. CJ was targeted and subjected to rumors, but no one dared question CP’s relationship with FS—because CP was in so much grief after CJ died, how could anyone bear to do that to CP again? even though FS was absolutely the one that everyone should have removed from CP’s side immediately…

when CP and CJ first meet in episode 7, CP is kind of a typical princely character: he’s kinda entitled, the world is his, his future is bright… and i firmly believe he 一见钟情 because while CJ still treated him with courtesy and respect, it’s obvious that CJ didn’t expect or want anything from him. and this continues in episode 9, when CP is trying to clear his thoughts by the riverside and runs into CJ who is fishing: CP brattishly orders CJ to stay and keep him company, and CJ is honestly more confused than anything as to why the freaking Crown Prince of the country wants to spend the whole goddamn day here. of course, it’s because CJ represents a freedom for CP: here, the Emperor won’t compare him to Prince Zhou or Prince Han; here, the Empress won’t admonish him over and over again; here, there’s no scheming advisors who try to curry favor with him. here, as CP tells CJ to use, it’s just “you and I” without care for rank or formalities.

(but also the death flag in episode 9 was atrociously obvious LOL with CP promising “I will make you a grave” to CJ’s absolute terror. on-the-nose. still made me sad later on, so that’s that i guess. in any case, the episode ends with a 定情信物 whereupon CP gives a jade from his belt to CJ.)

CP watches CJ perform (as he is an entertainer from Prince Han’s mansion) for the first time in episode 10, and we see it again in episode 12, episode 16, and episode 17. based off 《三国演义》Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the lyrics are as follows:

大丈夫只患功名不立 A great man should only worry about not gaining fame and honor/

何患无妻 Why worry over not having a wife/

舍生忘死报恩住 Leaving behind life and death to repay my Lord/

忠肝义胆待友朋 Treat my friends with righteous loyalty/

我要做有血性的英雄 I want to be a hot-blooded hero/

为义而生 To live for righteousness (loyalty)/

为义而死 To die for righteousness (loyalty)

CJ plays the main role of Zhao Zilong (Zhao Yun), and he helpfully compares the story to a game of weiqi in episode 16.

“A gambit [sacrificing insignificant pieces to protect the significant ones] is what Zhao Zilong did in the Battle of Changban. In order for Zhao Zilong to save A Dou, he couldn’t save Madam Gan. So, Madam Gan committed suicide. Isn’t Madam Gan a gambit?”

to which CP responds: “Thank goodness you are Zhao Zilong, and not Madam Gan.”

CJ: “The Crown Prince regards me as his soulmate [知己]. Even if in the future, the Crown Prince were to sacrifice me as a gambit, I would be willing.”

CP: “What are you saying? You and I are friends. No matter what happens in the future, I will never treat you as a sacrificial gambit.”

(so, like, death flags everywhere! 知己-mention! and, c’mon, i think for CP’s consort to be jealous/insecure is a little bit justified considering the amount of times CP has CJ perform this piece with a line like “Why worry over not having a wife”.)

backing up for just a moment before everything goes to shit, other notable events are CP finding out his wife is pregnant in episode 13 (but he spends the day fishing and then cooking the fish with CJ at the riverside, and they walk off with arms draped around each other’s shoulders), CJ hurting his leg after climbing a cliffside to pick red flowers after CP mentioned his wife loves the color red most in episode 14, and finally CP leading a blindfolded CJ to a new house just for him to tick off another romance-y trope in episode 15.

CP: “Didn’t you say you didn’t have a home? So I bought you this little estate. When you fall in love someday, have children, and have a great career, this will be your home.”

(the point is they’re both still kind of in a honeymoon phase right now, tho it ends quickly in episode 16 when our FL Fu Rou warns CJ against being so close to CP—but CP is a little bit too idealistic right now, a little bit too stuck in his blissful fantasy, a little bit foolish. foolish, and incompetent, and unable to protect the people he loves bc he unwittingly endangered them to begin with.)

of course, things come to a head in episode 17 when CP’s wife tells her sister about CJ, leading to the Emperor eventually finding out. but while that’s happening, CP goes to see CJ at the estate he bought for him.

CP: In the future, I won’t come here anymore. Therefore, let’s put aside differences for today and be friends like we used to. We will never have those kinds of days again.

CJ confesses he’s going to leave Chang’an: I want to learn swordsmanship well, and become a wandering hero, feeling at home wherever I am. When the Crown Prince becomes Emperor in the future, I can help you take care of bad guys along my journey out there. This will be my way of helping the Crown Prince to keep the empire stable.

CP gives his dagger to CJ: This is not a reward, but a gift for my friend who is about to leave. In the future, whenever you look at it, it will be like looking at me.

CJ: A gift from my soulmate. Chen Ji will definitely take good care of it.

(for ppl who’ve watched Qing Ya Ji, the parallel to Zhongxing and Fangyue here killed me. but there’s also a parallel within the show itself near the end when Fu Rou gives the Emperor a collection of scrolls and explains that the late Empress hoped that he would treat her writings like he were seeing her—one of Court Lady’s many confirmations that CP and CJ should be read as a romantically by paralleling it to visible, het relationships. ALSO, CP has CJ perform Zhao Zilong again right after this conversation, like a last nail in the coffin.)

so the Emperor finds out in episode 18 and angrily orders CP to kill CJ himself, lest he be stripped of rank. Fu Rou warns CJ, but he refuses to escape.

If I run away, the Crown Prince will not be able to fulfill the Emperor’s order—what would happen to the Crown Prince? […] Life and death are not the most important things; the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

and so CJ unsheathes the dagger CP gave him.

The Crown Prince regards Chen Ji as his soulmate, Chen Ji also regards the Crown Prince as his soulmate. ‘A man of service dies for the one who knows him.’ (An upright man can die for his soulmate.)

CJ quotes “士为知己者死” from Sima Qian’s 《史記·刺客列傳》Records of the Grand Historian, tho if you’ve watched Winter Begonia, it should probably also look familiar.

CP pushes aside the soldiers who’ve accompanied him on the journey to CJ’s home, but it’s too late: CJ took his own life, using the weapon CP gave him, in order to protect CP.

the chorus of Lu Hu’s 《万里》 Ten Thousand Li plays as CP staggers toward CJ’s lifeless body.

呼吸，想着你, When I breathe, I think of you

在梦里，在心里, In my dreams, in my heart

怪完相遇，怪自己, After I’ve finished blaming that we encountered each other, I blame myself

别离，痛彻心扉！Farewell, my heart is broken

(this is a song from the OST we hear multiple times with the other couples in the drama—and we also see many couples by the same river that CP and CJ would fish together by. i think, like, all the couples associated with this song except our main one have a BE…)

in CP’s immense grief, he has the weiqi pieces from his last game with CJ glued to the board, never to be moved again, and he has the flowerbed outside flattened. we get our callback to episode 9: “Chen Ji has no family. I promised him that if he died, I would make him a grave.”

CP doesn’t meet FS until episode 37, but what the Emperor says in episode 19 about Chen Ji is what really makes the whole thing a tragedy.

You must be cautious when choosing friends. He would only have misguided you.

and that’s the thing, the Emperor isn’t wrong!!! it ultimately truly is the Crown Prince’s love for Chen Ji that destroys him. his love for Chen Ji ruins him, ruins the imperial family and threatens the dynasty as a whole. because when Fushui shows up, a man who shares Chen Ji’s face, the Crown Prince trusts him unconditionally—it’s the Crown Prince’s desperation to see any small part of Chen Ji again that leaves him vulnerable to FS’s manipulation: CP forgets who he truly is. because how could a man who looks like Chen Ji ever betray him?

CP is thrown from his horse in episode 37, striking his head upon a rock.

he wonders: Chen Ji, have I also died? Did you come here just to pick me up?

(but of course it’s FS, who was actually going to kill him but the soldiers arrived too quickly.) they meet officially in episode 38.

CP: I thought I was going to die. Dimly, I felt someone approach me—he wanted to save me. I originally thought it was Chen Ji who couldn’t bear for me to die, so his spirit appeared. I didn’t expect that it was you.

FS remarks that CP has brought up “Chen Ji” several times already; immediately, he understands that this is a weakness to exploit.

CP basically throws a temper tantrum in episode 39 when he discovers he will have a permanent limp from now on. (idk if it was an intentional parallel, but CJ also had a limp after falling from the cliffside in episode 14.) FS is the only person that CP allows to approach him, and FS gets him to eat grilled fish (which is apparently CP’s favorite food—how much of the people we love do we carry with us?)

FS acts innocent: I really am bad at lying; as soon as I lie, you see right through me.

it’s everything CP wants to hear.

CP tells him: When I fell off my horse, and was on my last breath, you came to my side and encouraged me to continue living. I’m now crippled and in despair, but you talked sense into me to eat grilled fish. Everything that has happened—if it were Chen Ji, he would also have talked sense into me, encouraged me. Sometimes, I feel that you are Chen Ji, just with a different face.

(obviously it’s the same face for us tho cuz he’s played by the same guy. but anyway, when FS comes clean about everything in episode 51, he mimics the words CP says here.

I am not Chen Ji. I, Yang Fushui, came to your side to find an opportunity to take revenge.)

back to episode 39, FS says he doesn’t want to be “another Chen Ji” because he doesn’t want to die so young—he’s afraid of death.

CP: I guarantee you that I won’t let anyone harm you. What happened to Chen Ji will never happen to you.

(and it’s true! FS gets away with so much goddamn shit because CP’s wife doesn’t dare criticize FS, and even the Emperor doesn’t after knowing what it’s like to see his son in such heavy grief. CP’s wife thinks this is her chance at making amends; she felt real remorse after CJ died, and honestly that line from It’s Quiet Uptown sums it up best: “If I could trade his life for mine/He'd be standing here right now/And you would smile and that would be enough.” a shame, of course, that CP was FS’s freaking main target. nobody wants to repeat the tragedy of Chen Ji, so no one questions Fushui.)

but, like, FS isn’t truly even that subtle—it’s just that CP is so blinded by his love for CJ. from episode 46:

CP: I have taught you for so long, but you’re still terrible at playing.

FS: I am doing it on purpose. Only if I play poorly, will the Crown Prince be willing to continue teaching me.”

CP: Even you put on an act before me? […] You are the person I trust the most. Don’t lie to me.

(太子，你醒醒吧!)

so FS successfully sows discord between CP and his brother Prince Han; the Empress passes away (always sickly, but her illness was very much exacerbated upon seeing her beloved sons turn on each other); CP’s wife kills her own sister in what she believes is a beneficial political move for CP; Prince Han’s wife is wrongfully executed; Sheng Chujun is killed and silenced too after he discovers FS’s plans. CP stages a coup against Prince Han. (the man who looks like Chen Ji must only want the best for him, right?) FS gets away with everything and goes to visit CP in prison in episode 51.

AND HERE! HERE! FS is supposed to kill CP; that’s been his goal from the very beginning. CP hasn’t eaten for days in the prison, but FS shows up with a grilled fish and CP eats without a second thought that it could be poisoned.

but. FS has been at CP’s side for so long now. he’s orchestrated CP to lose everything. there is nothing left that CP could give to him but the mere fact that he’s still breathing.

in episode 49, FS poisons Lian Yan’er and Yan Zifang is obviously upset on behalf of blissfully ignorant, head-over-heels Ma Haihu.

FS: I will kill whoever gets in my way.

YZF: What about someone you love? If it was someone you loved, you would be just as ruthless, right?

FS: It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Where does love come into play? This question—you’ve asked the wrong person.

(but FS’s expression changes. someone he loves? he’s startled, he looks afraid.)

FS ruined CP’s life; and at the same time, gave CP reason to live again. CP started playing weiqi again, his relationship with his wife improved; he started smiling again. there was a passionate fire to him that he never had before (this was his second chance to do everything right, to protect the people he loves!)... the kindling, unfortunately, was his trust in Prince Han and his parents. from episode 39, FS comes in and sits down next to CP after CP trashes his room during his tantrum.

CP: Do you know why I treat you differently from other people?

FS: Because I remind Your Highness of your friend who already passed away—Chen Ji?

CP never stopped loving CJ; he loved Fushui, because he never stopped treating him as Chen Ji. after the failed coup against Prince Han, CP smiles in prison in episode 51 when FS visits him.

CP: It was fate who made us each other's soulmate [知己]. [...] If you can continue living well, I wish that you live your life to the fullest, with both smiles and tears.

how can Fushui bear to take the Crown Prince’s life when he’s received nothing but unwavering trust from him? when he explains who he truly is, when he calls CP foolish for trusting the wrong person, FS is on the brink of tears. his mouth trembles, his breaths shake. when the poison begins to take effect, and CP agonizingly reaches for him, FS takes his hand—just as CP gripped CJ’s lifeless hand so long ago, just as CP reached out to the person he thought was CJ when he fell from his horse. FS takes his hand, sobs, and gives him the antidote.

(Consort Yan’s eunuch is, of course, outraged.

Yu He: If you can’t bear to kill him, then I will!

Fushui: I forbid you. [...] He has nothing left to lose. I forbid you from killing him.)

so, we have the Crown Prince, ruined by his love for Chen Ji—and Fushui, who both took and freely gave the Crown Prince’s life back to him. it’s a love story; it has always been a love story.

and finally, FS gets Ma Haihu killed in episode 53. he picks up the comb MHH carved for Lian Yan’er (a 定情信物!), and when he speaks, ends up telling the story of CP and CJ as well.

There was a woman who sacrificed her life for your bright future. You only needed to enjoy it, yet you took the road of self-destruction.

and then he remembers what CP said to him in the prison in episode 51.

CP: If, in this world, fate truly exists, then so do the hearts of men.

FS remarks now: If you have a heart, you will be easily hurt, or even lose your life.

heartless Fushui, who kills without batting an eye, who nearly upturned the entire Tang dynasty, who doesn’t know of love. in the end, he couldn’t bear to end the Crown Prince’s life.

so, yeah. these three broke my heart. i really wonder what Chen Ji would say to the Crown Prince when they see each other again at last in the afterlife. what the Crown Prince would say to Chen Ji. how violent love can be. what it means to live in someone’s memory. or maybe they would return to the river and spend a long day fishing together again.

#court lady #骊歌行 #cdrama ramblings

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soulvomit · 3 years

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I’m realizing what some of my writing block is. This is why I’ve decided to only write *adult market.* I can’t write YA. I can’t even write for people who want to read YA. The narrative demands of an audience that wants everything to be Young Adult, are like handcuffs. I can’t write within those boundaries, I just can’t. I can’t even write for people who read Adult then get mad that it’s not YA. I can’t write even for younger readers of erotica. I can only write for people with roughly my same level of social experience who are coming from the same place, who don’t require their characters to be moral paragons, or who want to read something that is coming from a different place emotionally, or... for that matter... young people who prefer to read older work. Long winded diatribe about some of my more difficult, culturally incorrect romantic narratives I’ve written, as an example of this problem. In case you’re not going to read behind the read-more, no, I don’t write incest or pedo. (Doesn’t mean I won’t write a character who has experienced this if it comes up, I haven’t yet, but who knows. But I don’t write positive portrayals of it. I feel I need to write this disclaimer here.)

Looking at my writing - I have some scenes I’ve written that are very passionate. It’s basically an OC fanfic type of scenario, it’s writing I did that spun off of a game setting my characters were in for a very long time, about two characters who later ended up married. (And I often do this when game groups fall apart, I start writing about my characters.) It’s some of my best writing, and I’ve often thought about filing the serial numbers off and cannibalizing this for some totally original setting. In the piece I’m looking at, the characters haven’t jumped each other’s bones yet, but there is a strong attraction between two lonely, unattached coworkers that is growing into... outright longing. These are middle aged divorcees with children. They have navigated love and lust before. They have been adults at this point for a long time. They are both sexually experienced (her, in fact, much more than him). It’s clear that they utterly want to rail each other from dusk to dawn until neither one of them can walk. Much of this is from the point of view of the male character. (And I LOVE writing het from the male point of view; it’s one of my favorite love/sex dynamics to write.) They’re definitely conscious of this attraction and in their private thoughts that I’ve written, before the attraction is consummated, there’s definitely “strong crush” energy. These are experienced, sexually mature, middle aged people who are both divorcees with children and they definitely are guessing correctly about the other person’s attraction and interest. They’re imperfect people: they’ve made bad life choices in the past. They’re equals, but it’s never *explicitly pointed out.* He’s a hypermasculine (but not toxically) and badass warrior type, she’s an engineer. She is older than he is, but that never matters and never comes up any more than the fact that I’m 6 years older than my fiance, ever comes up in our relationship. All four of us are *middle aged people* and it is just not a topic of conversation. Another thing that’s “eh” by YA standards is that The thing with how I portray and read erotic or romantic stuff, is that I am an older, experienced person, and I like stuff about older, experienced people. People who already know how to navigate these situations and don’t necessarily need everything spelled out. The thing is, I almost feel like - because of changing sexual mores - I can only write for people over 40 unless I totally rewrite the way everything goes and even the emotional temperature of their early relationship. Even though it’s very clear that my characters are absolutely mutually into each other, and it would be clear to any experienced person who navigates body language, I would have to navigate a whole new set of mores around having to outright spoonfeed my audience - we are really into tell don’t show now, we are really into long winded prefaces to everything explaining how everyone involved is really a good person, and I notice that there’s so little comprehension of nuance or subtlety now, things have to be spelled out, one character reading another person’s body language and flirting at a subtler level would be considered gross and against the present day’s mores around consent. My characters ultimately end up making out and going to bed and they never, ever talk about it and they never process it. The establishment of consent is very, very brief and amounts to one middle aged horny person basically saying “wanna fuck” to another middle aged horny person (personally, my absolute favorite way to start a relationship, that’s how my current and best relationship started, 10/10 highly recommend) and, 12 hours later, the other person pulling them into their hotel room. It’s the kind of establishment of consent that you would’ve seen in an older work and it’s not a particularly complicated dance. I didn’t write this work for public consumption outside of a handful of people and perhaps if I did, maybe I would have written it differently because I’d have to assume that “show don’t tell” doesn’t work on audiences who don’t read nuance, I don’t know. Also, in the lead up to the two characters doing the do, they totally sexually objectify each other in their heads. They think about how much they’d really, really like to pounce on each other. And this is... objectifying, or something. I always portray consent but there’s never a complicated ritual around it. I don’t enjoy writing that. Also, I really enjoy writing and reading stuff with spontaneous passion. I LOVE stuff where it’s even a little over the top.

But the big thing that seems to have changed? The big social more? It feels like you’re not really allowed to show your characters crushing too hard, or desiring too much. They’re certainly never allowed to have frustrating desire or one-sided attractions. (I’ve written lots of those. How the character acts on it or doesn’t, is going to depend upon what type of character I’m writing. I have a couple of one sided best friend crush types of dynamics that I’ve written, usually it’s same sex and incompatible sexual orientation.) Characters are not really allowed to be horny and there seems to be a general disgust with horniness. Which is difficult to navigate because I love horny work, about horny people. I love stuff about crushes and frustrated limerence. Also? I even love forbidden romance and forbidden sex and sometimes, and even characters doing things they’re Not Supposed To Do. (I think this is why so many people in my age group are into crime fiction, stuff about illicit affairs, etc.) I have the standard legal and moral limits, but yes I will even read about characters cheating on their spouses. It doesn’t mean I condone what the character is doing or want to do it, and it’s satisfying to see how the situation resolves. (It has to have consequences or it’s just not believable.)

But even age differences between grown ass adults and massive social differences don’t bother me. I love reading and writing common and royal, rich and poor, people from forbidden and different social worlds.

I’m presently writing something in which a young (but adult) witch is married to an immortal god, and finds out she’s one of millions of his brides through history, and hundreds in the present time. And she is going to stay married to him because that’s part of, in my world, being the type of witch she is. OF COURSE there’s a power difference because HE’S A GOD. The story also spends a lot of time with her as a child, because I write CRADLE TO GRAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I love to spend a character’s entire life with them, from the time they’re born to the time they die. But leaving that aside. The sweetest and most tender romance I’ve ever written, involved a sad 50something man and a 25ish year old woman. I was in my 20s when I wrote this. I had lived with the male character in my head for a long time and knew him inside and out. I was delighted when I realized that sparks were flying between him and another character, I’d lived through this character’s life story and its long history of unhappy self-sacrifice, and I decided to follow to see where it led... and it was delightful! I decided to let him have the happy ending. He deserved it after all of this time. She was the initiator of the relationship. She’s in love with him. He is a widower who’s lost everything and now he has a chance to rebuild his life and start a family with this new person. She has other suitors but wants him. She gets pregnant. But it’s narratively a blessing. She wants him, she wants their child, and he’s delighted (especially since his late wife and child are dead), it’s a matrilineal culture, she and the child will stay on the land with her family after he dies. This is a blessing for him. They’re on her family’s land and he’s an exile with no home. She is NOT a Literal Child; she is a grown-ass adult with her own agency, who is sexually experienced, and who has born a lot of responsibility, and is in a prominent social position. His existence is at the mercy of her family, though they keep him around because of his knowledge and abilities. He is the one who doesn’t initiate the relationship, because he’s conscious of the age difference and feels like an old fool, and worries she’ll tire of him one day. Who has the power? Also, he’s a “fish out of water” from another (completely fictitious) culture who ends up totally living among, and assimilating into, this new culture, and basically living out the rest of his life among them, with his bride and their children. And that’s something that isn’t supposed to happen, right? (Writers whose characters just show up in their heads, will relate to this. I don’t even pick my characters’ love interests.)

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malefiquinn · 3 years

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My Cyberpunk 2077 review

I finished the game last night and I have Feelings™ about it, so here goes my review. While the heavy spoilers (ending related) will be hidden under Keep Reading, I might mention some minor ones here and there, so read at your own risk.

Let’s get the Big Thing out of the way first: yes, the game is buggy af. The good news is most of them are visual bugs, so while annoying, they don’t really matter gameplay wise. But I did have to reload an earlier save file two times to get rid of gamebreaking bugs, both messing with main story quests. It was frustrating. And nevermind the times my car got destroyed because the game suddenly realized there were two cars occupying the same space. However I did manage to finish the game and make the choices I wanted, so it wasn’t that bad either.

My biggest complain is the blantant transphobia shown in the character creator. I know Claire exists and she’s awesome and I love her, but the cc options are just not inclusive enough. What’s the point of having them if you can’t use them anyway? Linking V’s pronouns to voice types makes absolutely no sense. And not being able to remove breasts from the female body type (or put them in the male body type) rubs me the wrong way as well, though I understand that it would involve a lot more animation work. Lastly, having body type-dependant hair styles is just plain inexcusable when the devs took the time to design genitals that are just not shown past the character creator (unless V walks around naked, I suppose). So, why bother having all these ✨choices✨ when the player can’t get a good, accurate customization anyway?

And it gets worse if we talk about romances. Real people have specific tastes and that’s completely understandable, but real life has a lot more than 4 choices in total. More importantly, bisexual people are a thing? There should have been at least one female and one male bisexual romance options in game. So to make it al worse, the constraint in gay romance options is... awful. Why have 3 types of gender-related customization if you can’t use them if you want to romance someone? I’m a cishet female who plays as a cishet female first if given the option, but I’m still bothered for the queer community (which I’m still part of btw, since I’m in the ace spectrum). It feels like being trans is more of a fetish in Night City than a real trait.

Speaking of romances, I played River’s and I found it... bit of a lackluster. I don’t find him physically attractive (shaved head and no beard are not my thing) but his voice was pretty nice and I liked his personality despite being a cop. But the main downside was the way the game treats his romance. I knew I wasn’t going to get a BioWare-style romance, but V’s relationship with River was like a sidenote and once he’s romanced, there’s just no way to interact with him again. That perhaps is the same for the other romances but there’s no replayability, in a sense that there’s no way to talk to/kiss him again or replay the sex scene, for instance. It bothered me that the game forces V to say that “she’s too busy” and apologize to her boyfriend all the time, because *I* would’ve made time to visit if there was ingame acknowledgement of it. The worst bit is that I feel like River’s romance is the least polished of them all, because Panam and Judy play important roles in main quests and Kerry is pivotal to Johnny’s sidequests, while River is... just there (also more further on, regarding the ending). So the fact that he’s like the forgotten child in the romance section while being the only cishet female option is heartbreaking.

The silverlining is that, at least, the mistreated community was het females instead of gay females. Although, this is just another example of game devs thinking about male players first.

Now the good part: what I liked

The cars. I’m not a car enthusiast, I don’t enjoy driving in real life and I’m a terrible driver in games, but I fucking loved the cars in CP2077. The Caliburn was like my game baby, I had so much fun driving around and hearing the different engines for each car, and the differences in driving... it was awesome. I got and bought *all* the available cars for the sake of it, just because I liked them so much.

The story. I love games that get me invested and this one was definitely one of those. Falling for Jackie when I knew he was not gonna be around for long was an expected, but still perfectly excecuted punch to the gut. And Johnny’s guidance and company was something I was hyped about, but still played out even better than I though it would. So to my next point, Keanu Reeves. I was thrilled to play a game with Keanu in it and it blew my mind. Those reviews that pinpoint Keanu’s acting as the weak link in the game are fucking wrong, how else you expect to see (and hear) an angry, resentful man permanently stuck in time? Even worse, when he knows the people he hated the most managed to kill him? I wasn’t happy when I learned Johnny was not a romance option but after meeting him, I’m glad that’s the case. He’s the perfect antihero-turned-best-friend for V, if you can stand him.

Stealth and hacking. Most of the time I choose the option to play stealthy and this time it wasn’t just that, it was the option to use futuristic technology at the same time. I LOVED it. Quickhacking enemies instead of shooting them is so much fun. Enemy detection is a bit wonky at times but still, I enjoyed it much better than if it had been a plain shooter. And those guns with homing shots are so cool that I wanted to play them over sniper rifles, my usual go tos.

The characters. I got invested in V’s relationships, even if the romantic aspect wasn’t as great as it could’ve been. Friendship with Kerry and Panam, clousure for Judy and Rogue, mourning Jackie, being part of River’s family, so many the fixers in existance... and Johnny, my bff Johnny. Even Alt, with her somewhat little role, was great. I was promised a compelling story and deep characters, and I did get both.

The soundtrack. Overall it’s pretty great, but my favorite songs are those related to Samurai. And it’s not even because of my love for Johnny, I really do enjoy them for their musical content. Unironically my all time favorite is Johnny’s as well, Never Fade Away. I won’t exit a car or open the menu when that song is playing.

The easter eggs. From GlaDOS and Silence of the Lambs in the Delamain quests to the Matix-esque pills of the main storyline, to Hideo Kojima and the BB in a lab, “Harvest like a Reaper” and the many “You’re breathtaking!” references (Kerry’s take was my favorite), the game presents A LOT of pop culture nods and I’m here for it. Having real life content creators around for several levels of cameos was a nice touch as well.

So without mentioning the heavy spoilers (aka ending), in my opinion, Cyberpunk 2077 deserves a 9/10. Bugs are fixable and the story and characters carry the game on it’s own because they’re just too good. The main story is kinda short and I believe Johnny’s sidequests should be part of the main story, but I get why they are not mandatory if you want to roleplay a full on dislike towards the rockerboy. But still, there are some things related to gender and romance that are complete misfires. I hope that some of those will be fixed via patches (the character creator bits), but the lack of more romance options or at least bisexual NPCs obviously won’t be fixed and that’s what keeps CP2077 away from a perfect score in my book.

Now, regarding the endings:

The one thing that truly bothered me was that the Rogue one had no real goodbyes for V. She goes into a suicide mission in space and everyone’s post-credit messages complain she just disappeared without a trace? I get she’s dying and all, but, for fuck’s sake leave a message explaining it if you cared so much about them. The game *makes* you care about the characters but doesn’t give you an option to honor that love at the end.

Also, again, romances. I played both Rogue and Panam’s endings so I know there’s no way to have a happy ending with River, which is bittersweet and probably for the best that it happens with him since his romance seems to be the least engaging, but again that makes me feel cheated. Not that they parted ways in the Nomad ending (that was sad, but sad endings are not bad), but that there is no happy-ish ending romance wise for a cishet female. People who romanced Panam obviously stay together with her and those who romanced Judy do too from what I’ve read (and no idea about Kerry’s romance), but not getting that option if you choose to be female and go for a het romance takes away from the game. Sadly. Also my last interaction with River in Rogue’s ending was fucking terrible, I liked how poetic that ending was for Rogue and Johnny until I got to the rest of my V’s life.

(But I still headcanon that River eventually joined V with the Aldecaldos in my canon ending, aka the Nomads’, despite what he said. Since his post-credit message implies he might visit her and stuff.)

As for the rest of the ending... CP2077 clearly states that life isn’t happy and that there’re no happy endings for people who live in NC, so I like that no ending is completely happy since you are bound to die anyway, but. But. It’s somewhat disheartening that the overall arc can be resumed to “all that you did served for nothing, you’re still dying so your efforts were absolutely useless.” I really don’t see how to improve it without defaulting to a happy, sunshine-esque ending that fixes everything, so I don’t know. It still wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear at the end, so... I liked it but didn’t, at the same time. Ha.

And lastly, I hoped for endgame playability and there is none, you have to revert to an earlier save to keep playing. I get why it wasn’t done, to give a definitive end to V’s story in NC, but anyway. What I really liked about this choice was that no matter the ending, V becomes no one again. They will be forgotten by most people after a while either because they leave with the nomads or because they ‘disappear’, aka die in a blaze of glory in that casino in space. Or well, sell their soul to Arasaka or commit suicide on the rooftop.

So overall, I loved this game and critics are somewhat too harsh. But I agree there are some terrible design choices and a long way of bugfixing to get to the specific masterpiece that we were hoping for.

#cyberpunk 2077 #personal #ivy 'v' kerrigan #since she's in the pic #my v

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deerfests · 3 years

Note

( 001. the young pope/the new pope || 002. lenny/brannox || 003. sir john brannox ) && ( 001. space force || 002. malloraird || 003. dr adrian mallory ) && ( 004. the new pope/space force )

just for the heck of it, and because i’m greedy ☺️

fandom ask

man wth that's a lot... 😂😂😂

Okay, off we go~

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my: + The Young Pope/The New Pope

Favorite character:

Sir John Brannox, because I love the emo pope. He's got so many issues, and he's lovable for it.

Least Favorite character:

Um... I guess I don't know. I don't want to offend anyone.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

I only have 2-- Sofia Dubois/Sir John Brannox and Lenny Belardo/Sir John Brannox. Judge me if you must *shrugs*

Character I find most attractive:

Lenny and Brannox gotta fight over that one. I like how both of them look.

Character I would marry:

My hand in marriage is saved for Trench, exclusively, and he's not even a character in the show. Sorry. 🤠

Character I would be best friends with:

Gutiérrez but that's cuz he's a nice man and stuff. The dude would be swept away by me doing bs and just end up enduring it, not because he likes me. Let's be real. Nobody in the show would like me enough to befriend me! Unless I somehow weasel my way to Brannox, and we bond over being sad bastards but I don't think I have the energy to deal with his moping...

a random thought:

I feel like Adam's grave fucked up the timeline, nothing adds up. I'm sorry, but how old is Brannox supposed to be?? I am confused.

An unpopular opinion:

I don't obsess with some characters the rest of the fandom seems to, so I guess that's my unpopular opinion.

my canon OTP:

Sofia Dubois/Sir John Brannox

Non-canon OTP:

Lenny Belardo/Sir John Brannox, because imagine how fun that'd be!

most badass character:

Fck, I feel it's Lenny in The Young Pope. He's just out there destroying things.

pairing I am not a fan of:

I don't desire to put a bullseye on my back.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Hmm, I feel like Adam is an easy pick cuz for real, they did fuck up the timeline with him.

favourite friendship:

Lenny and Gutiérrez

character I want to adopt or be adopted by:

Nobody!! AH, that would screw me up big time.

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you: + Lenny/Brannox

when of if I started shipping it.

Like love at first sight, I fell for that shit since I saw them doing the world's most awkward prom picture. I mean, look at it:

And then I was pissed off... I watched the whole season and while I enjoyed it, I didn't get nearly enough interactions! But what I got, I treasure... Even if it probably tricks you into thinking this ship's dynamic is different than what I actually headcanon for them.

my thoughts:

Lenny would fuck up Brannox so badly. Then probably feel guilty about it to some extent, and try to do something about his incredibly low self-esteem. :) This is the only sfw thought I have.

What makes me happy about them:

:)) wouldn't you like to know.

I love, love, love the energy they would have, ok!? Imagine, the constant contrast of Lenny and Brannox! Just...imagine.

What makes me sad about them:

Lenny's dead. :((

Also, Brannox has no self-esteem. :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

IF there was fanfic of them, which there is none of, I checked-- I would be annoyed if somebody thought Brannox had any power to hold over Lenny. Also, IF there was fanfic, I would not hesitate to read it even if it was garbage, but there's none.

things I look for in fanfic:

Actually existing fanfic. There's none. I gotta write that shit myself, and I'm trying, but it's hard!

My kinks:

:)) I can't. I'll get shadowbanned. Lenny fucks him up, let's just say.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Sofia with Brannox, death with Lenny, I guess?? I'm quite happy how the show ended, but I've never been one to want my ships to be canon, most of the time.

My happily ever after for them:

They quit the clergy, I guess, and Lenny lives with Brannox in the estate and they slip into an awkward but working relationship? Brannox gets over his problems and so does Lenny.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you + Sir John Brannox.

How I feel about this character:

I feel I got into it before, but I love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Ah, this is a repeat. Sofia and Lenny, both in their own verses, never together at the same time.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

....Happiness/Brannox.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Not in the mood to put a bullseye on myself~

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

We got to see him interact more with ghost!Lenny. Like the scene at Adam's grave, just replay it 100x more.

my het ship:

Sofia and him.

my fem/slash ship:

Lenny and him.

my OTP:

Lenny/Brannox. But that might be cuz I love suffering and pissing people off.

my OT3:

None~

my cross over ship:

None???

my kink:

He has a praise kink.Probably cries during it, too.

a head cannon fact:

*gently puts a hand on Brannox's head* This bastard can fit so many obsessive thoughts in himself!

Also, sorry tumblr user sirjohnbrannox, I am stealing all your headcanons about him.

His parents probably mainly hated him cuz he was a non-straight punk, then started drugs to deal with his problems, and genuinely I feel like he's a little bit...how do I put this, not stable cuz of that. Adam was a perfect son, John meanwhile ended up traumatized and soft and scared. He has no self-esteem cuz his parents fucking sucked and played favorites!! And also probably blamed him for Adam’s death, I guess. Fuck Brannox's parents!! I don't want to see them!!

my gender bend:

I don't have one, cuz I don't like them~

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my: + Space Force

Favorite character:

Dr. Adrian Mallory, duh.

Least Favorite character:

RIP in PEPPERONI, KICK !! I HOPE YOU DIE.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

I literally only have one ship, Adrian/Mark.

Character I find most attractive:

In this episode of Dickie sets up ridiculous fights: Adrian Mallory vs Mark Naird. For whoever of the two, I actually find most attractive. Because I don't know, but boys are good.

Character I would marry:

HHHHH no

Character I would be best friends with:

Adrian, but only because we're both could be judgemental af... together!

a random thought:

Man, I hope they didn't make Malk shave for season 2. I'd hate that.

An unpopular opinion:

I don't care that much for Fuck Tony, I'm sorry. He's fine, I just-- don't really see the appeal of him. Maybe, just maybe, I'm too much into old men.

my canon OTP:

I...no? IDK!? Ali/Chan is cute, I guess and they're canon.

Non-canon OTP:

Adrian/Mark, which probably will never be actually canon and we'll keep getting ship baited.RIP. Good that I don't care about my ships being canon all that much.

most badass character:

???? IN SPACE FORCE????

pairing I am not a fan of:

I do not care for Ch*ntony. RIP. Not a NOTP but I just don't see it.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Erin Naird. I understand where's she's coming from, but my god.... they really wrote it poorly.

favourite friendship:

Mark and Adrian in the canon lense I guess.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by:

Nope.

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you: + Malloraird

when of if I started shipping it.

When tumblr user sirjohnbrannox didn't shut up about it.

my thoughts:

It's cute, but my kinky hands will continue rubbing off on it.

What makes me happy about them:

Adrian being head over heels for a dense fool.

What makes me sad about them:

Nothing, cuz there's nothing sad in the show? Or at least nothing I am emotionally invested into enough to actually be upset about?

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Y'all really think Adrian is vanilla? Y'all really think Adrian is anything but a brat?

things I look for in fanfic:

I am interested in a plot, that has a build-up for these two. So...my fic, In Need, which I am still working on. Cuz I literally stopped after my life fell apart and I couldn't handle the daunting comments. Anyways as I was saying. In Need-- except make it good.

My kinks:

:)) I don't want to get shadowbanned but Adrian is not vanilla, let's just say.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Just keep Mark with his wife, I don't care. Adrian, anyone but Jerome. It was painful to witness Jerome. I'm sorry, but how do you write Adrian-- a fairly not too stereotypical gay man? And then write him to be with somebody like Jerome, which just comes off as "oh shit we need a character for this and we didn't establish anyone!"

Also-- Jerome/Adrian is, unfortunately, canon-- why does the wiki make it creepy and one-sided?!!?

My happily ever after for them:

Maggie gets out of prison, runs off with her guard lover (which I'm actually fairly certain will happen), and Mark slowly enters a relationship with Adrian which actually results in both of them widening their views on things and getting along.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you + Dr Adrian Mallory

How I feel about this character:

He's pretty cool. Fun.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I literally only ship him with Mark, cuz Jerome gives me the worst vibes that make me actively partake in Jerome erasure.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

404 BrOTP not found.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

The man's a brat.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I wish he would have sung that song about Mark, and it would have actually been one side and nobody would have figured it out (so no photo kissing at the end) lmao cuz that'd -- now that'd be cursed and fun. >:3c

my het ship:

He's canonically gay so none. Unless season 2 decides to make him bisexual, this will continue.

my fem/slash ship:

Him with Mark.

my OTP:

Him and Mark. God, doing these memes is getting repetitve.

my OT3:

None.

my cross over ship:

Lmao none. I mean, c'mon I don't even like crossovers 99% of the time.

my kink:

:DD are you trying to get me shadowbanned, bud.

a head cannon fact:

I have none that I can share here, or at least none springing to mind... but can we all agree that people saying Adrian is a spy or he has intentions for Space Force's downfall, is so funny, because it's literally not that deep. He's just gay and in love with Mark, how much do the r*dditors gotta overthink the damn show? It's not even that good to overthink!

my gender bend:

NO, I don't like them.

004 | send me 2 fandoms and I will give yo my crossover OTP + The New Pope/Space Force

None of these, I am not answering this, cuz this is the worst crossover ever conceived by man and I don't even like crossovers enough to begin with and my laptop is dying from heat--

....;

no? ok.

Imagine poor ol' Brannox meeting Adrian. Goodbye.

#sirjohnbrannox #ask #aks meme answered #extremely long post under cut #long post cw

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carebooks · 4 years

Text

alright i watched the whole third season of House of Anubis

I first have to say how much I enjoyed the leads: Eddie and KT. They have such a good chemistry and they’re honestly hilarious together. As I mentioned before, I did ship them together when I was younger and first watched the show but with watching it again, I would keep them as friends. Best friends. (especially since KT is hella gay I don’t care what anyone says) They totally give me Cloak and Dagger vibes, especially in terms of partnership. At the start of the show, they were alone, they had no one to confide in, no one to be with, Eddie was torn about letting Sibuna know about Nina, still not over Patricia. KT just lost her grandfather and came to England on a quest with some key and vague warnings, she was hella confused but still did so out of loyalty to her grandfather (this baby is too precious and good for this world, i swear). And next thing you know, fate and Osirian visions bring them together. They form a partnership, they snoop around the Gatehouse, they form a bond. And I love it so much. What I love especially, is that at the end, when the sinners are everywhere and even the Sibuna members are taken as sinners, it’s down to Eddie and KT, just like the beginning. Sure, they get help from Willow and Harriet, but they lose Willow pretty quickly, and right at the end, Harriet sacrifices herself so they can get the other key and lock away the evil for good. And together, Eddie and KT join the keys and lock the evil as one. They started together, and they ended it together, and I think that was really poetic. I know that the Osirian and the Chosen One are meant to be the pair and the Ying & Yang, but in this particular case, Eddie and KT were a bond formed by friendship and hardship rather than destinies planned or written in the stars by the gods, yes fate brought them together, but only because they knew they could only accomplish their tasks with each other. I especially loved when they took down Ammut, and Robert tried a last ditch attempt to get KT to feel guilty over doing this, telling her that he would die if Ammut was locked away. It brings in KT’s loyalty to her family, even when it’s bad, but then Eddie yells during the commotion, “Don’t trust him, trust me!” And I think it really brings a full circle what a great partnership and bond they have.

Other than that, it’s really just random stuff I liked

i liked that Willow could sense bad vibes that Robert had whenever he was around Anubis House, as well as sensing the bad vibes that sinner!Victor and sinner!Patricia gave off. I kinda wished they could’ve looked more into that. Like she was naturally sensitive to these things or something.

Her relationship with Alfie was a nice touch, seeing him with someone who liked the same things that he did was real cute. Especially seeing them happy.

Victor and Sweet playing that card game gave me life.

Joy’s new attitude and look were certainly appreciated

While I preferred the Jerome that developed in S2 and won Mara over (especially over the course of the first season and second, i mean talk about a slow burn done right) and rather he didn’t cheat on her and Willow, the Joy+Jerome ship wasn’t terrible. I much prefer the developed S2 Jerome, I’ve said this twice now, but again, it wasn’t terrible. (but real talk? KT and Joy should’ve happened)

Amber being the one to bring Sibuna and the pair Eddie & KT together because *Amber Millington voice* “Hello people! Isn’t it obvious? Work together.”

Like that girl knew what was up. Well, she did invent Sibuna, not surprised.

Alfie was perfection this season, leave him be. Also, highlights of him:

“Crypts are for dead people!” “I’m afraid of everything.” “Guys, go! Get out of here! Sibuna! SIBUNNAAA!!”

I already talked plenty of Eddie and KT being the best, so yeah. But imma do it again anyway.

I have a theory that Eddie focused his primary Osirian instinct of being protective over the Chosen One to being protective over KT. Like he reffocused his powers to someone else for the time being. Nina wasn’t there, and when KT showed up in his vision it was almost like the house was telling him “You need to help her now. Keep her safe.” And I really like that.

It was especially shone a lot through out the season, and the last episodes too.

When sinner!Patricia and sinner!Fabian had KT and wanted to exchange an artifact that Eddie had discovered, she told him to run and get away, like they did when Alfie told them to leave him behind. And he says, “That was Alfie, this is you.”

And when Eddie, KT, Willow and Harriet went to get the sun key from Caroline, and she managed to take KT and Willow and turn them into sinners, Eddie says, “Not KT,” very worriedly. Later on he’s hard on himself, “I can’t believe they got to KT.”

It was interesting that half the season was awakening the man in the tank and the other half was releasing evil into the world. Like a different feel for half the season, not many shows do that.

I kinda despise the fact that the things I didn’t like are probably going to be longer.

Let’s go paragraph first so, how about that plot? First off, the whole thing is very weird for Sibuna. The first two seasons were about riddles and thinking things through. They were real mysteries. In this, it was more direct, they had an obvious problem, they had to stop the bad guys from waking up a bad guy, and then literal evil converted their own friends against each other. It sounds super interesting for a Vampire Diaries or Teen Wolf or even My Babysitter’s A Vampire plot line (or just one episode) since those shows were more active based. This season barely had any hidden things or riddles, and half of it had Sibuna paranoid and working against each other which I’m sure no one really loved. Not to mention that the action mainly happened at the Gatehouse rather than the actual Anubis House, the center for two of the last mysteries. Now I know, I know, the new season couldn’t just be a copy, and having a third mystery with hidden compartments over the house would certainly be a lot for Robert and Louisa. But I mean, didn’t Het Huis Anubis have four seasons? They couldn’t just do their version of that? I’m guessing that they did something different (I really hope so, because if not, this is embarrassing)

things i did not like at all about this season

the fact that they twisted Mara’s character up in their new ‘messed up girl obsessed with a boy’ like Joy in S2. just- why?

the fact that they undid a bunch of Jerome’s development.

or how about the fact that all Jerome got to do this season was be part of a love triangle cheat fest and then a love drama with Joy. In S1 he shoved himself into Sibuna and Rufus and it was bad for him, but he was involved. And S2, he was just amazing, they managed to connect his family and his family troubles with something that Sibuna would’ve needed for the Mask of Anubis: the Frobisher Gem. It all came together perfectly.

we didn’t get anything of Mr. Sweet telling Eddie about his Osirian thing or their family history.

The way they treated KT when they thought she was evil. It was so messed up, honestly, that poor baby. (though I did appreciate that the other residents noticed, like at breakfast when she sat down and no one looked at her, and he said, “Good morning, KT.” and he just noticed something was wrong. And then Joy and Mara noticed. I just really feel like that was the moment where Jerome and Joy coulda been more involved with Sibuna again- wait what am I saying)

No, when they and Patricia and Alfie were at the Gatehouse and they tried to warn them about the ceremony is when JOY AND JEROME SHOULDA GOTTEN INVOLVED IN SIBUNA AGAIN. Or like, at least be more aware, I mean come on?? Joy, you’re better than this. And Jerome, you’ve seen enough weird stuff to know when it’s Sibuna-related and usually that means deadly-related so you’re whole having two girlfriends thing can wait for a while.

Caroline Denby sucked. (And Caroline Forbes from TVD is a fan favorite of mine and not to mention that MY NAME IS CAROLINE so imagine that).

the fact that we got rid of the real Victor was kinda just wrong for me. I mean, Victor has always been a pain in the ass with the kids, and he’s usually wanted what they were after as well but he’d never resort to murder or anything like that, so when he got turned into a sinner and lost his friggin soul (yes, they said that, this is true) we truly lost Victor and I didn’t like that at all.

Season 1 was all about a mystery but also partly conspiracy, there was a moment between all five of Sibuna where they got proof and realistic statements after Joy lied to them (at the insistence of her dad) they were starting to think that the mystery wasn’t real and almost backed out of the search. Remember? Nina said, “You guys aren’t giving up on me, right?” Anyway, that was that. It was all about finding more information about what really happened and what’s really going on. About finding answers.

Season 2 was darker, it was a race against time because unlike the mystery of the first season, this one was more about saving themselves. Nina’s life and her friends and Gran would’ve died, it’s a great motivator to go through the tunnels. And there were moments where we see just how serious this is, there’s one shot where Nina is in a dream sequence in the house and all her friends are running away from her, terrified. And even when Victor sees her, he backs away in fear and hides himself in his office and then in the mirror it’s revealed Nina’s dressed and appears as Senkhara. And then when Senkhara freezes Vera, Victor knows it’s time to back away, he’s scared, he’s worried, so we see him do what he has to do to get Vera back. And when he’s playing the game? With Sibuna as his game pieces on the huge board? When Alfie disappeared, he backed out, he knew when to stop and almost considered calling Mr. Sweet to do something about it.

Meanwhile, Season 3 was all dark evil stuff, run for your life or your literal soul will be taken. It’s the end of the world if they awaken this sleeping dude, we need heroes to stop the bad team. Oh no, he’s awake, now he’s going to unleash hell and evil and it’s the end of the world, only now everyone’s converted to the evil and it’s real bad, we need heroes desperately.

This season might’ve been more dark or good vs. evil type of thing but it just didn’t feel right for HOA. The show has always been subtle, it’s quiet and the kids solve the mystery and they do everything very hushed and private, this season sort of felt like WHOAH PIE IN YOUR FACE GUESS WHAT IM A SIBUNA what with turning the whole school into sinners, I just didn’t like the whole school being this active. but that’s me personally.

Robert Frobisher-Smythe being the one in the tank is ridiculous considering wE SAW HIS FRIGGIN GHOST AT THE END OF S1. And honestly, bringing him in and saying that he’s going to bring forth a darkness to make people evil and bring the apocalypse is just a really bland plot. It’s no mystery, it’s legit good guys vs. a villain. It’s a ‘save the world’ plot, yeah like we’ve never seen that before.

We love the mystery, where was it? oh right, nowhere.

When the four descendants of Robert’s expedition party were revealed: Patricia, Joy, Alfie and Jerome, there could have so much content.

The four of them speaking in unison while they sleep should’ve been used more.

Remember the childhood lullabies they were supposed to use to find a random artifact? Those lullabies were riddles and other than that cylinder that KT opened using her synesthesia, it was the only thing that made it feel like good old days of House of Anubis.

again, making Robert the man in the tank and then evil was just stupid. im not gonna approach the fact that he took the punishment meant for his expedition party and that’s why he’s cursed, and now he’s evil? oh gods

again, seeing the three OG Sibuna gang members evil and not on Sibuna kept killing me.

that ending bugged me

like oh no! everyone’s gone insane, we gotta shut this thing down before it devours more souls. TWO HOURS LATER and now it’s time to enjoy fireworks and Fabian and Mara and flirting and its so unnecessary, whyy??

Leave Mara with Jerome (in which he didnt cheat) and Willow is happy with Alfie and KT and Joy are out there being gay as hell. Those are the ships that shoulda happened.

Honestly, when I think back at S2 and Amber and Nina are there, it just brings back such good vibes. S2 really is the best season, but I stand by my love for Eddie and KT. Friendship goals AF. Like I said before, the third season was in your face, it was loud and it was telling everyone ‘end of the world’ and when you think about it, it’s perfect for the characters they introduced. S1 and S2 fit so well for Nina, because she’s like that, she’s quiet yet badass and is about riddles and mysteries. Meanwhile, Eddie is loud and wants to get this over with, LET’S BREAK INTO OUR TEACHER’S HOUSE BECAUSE I HAVE A HUNCH. YOU WANNA SEE THE SLEEPING MAN’S FACE, FABIAN? LET’S REMOVE THE GLASS. LET’S STEAL THE TANK WITH THE SLEEPING MAN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. LET ME JUST BARGE INTO VICTOR’S OFFICE TO TAKE YOUR KEY BACK, KT. LET’S DO WHATEVER IMPORTANT TASK OR MISSION WE NEED HAVE TONIGHT. LET ME BANG AGAINST PIPES AND BRICKS REALLY LOUDLY. And let me tell you, it just makes me laugh how into it he gets, like “why not?” it’s just so funny for some reason. Anyway, I think they decided to make this season fit what they wanted Eddie to be and that’s what they did. I loved Eddie’s performance, I loved him so much, I loved KT more. But I just didn’t love this season.

#carebooks #house of anubis #eddie miller #kt rush #my opinions #season review #this isn't an analysis

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hidethenotes · 4 years

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Why I’m Deeply Concerned about Denis Villeneuve’s Dune and You Should Be Too

Let me Preface this by acknowledging Dune has yet to be released so it may very well be that many if not all of my concerns and frustrations will prove unfounded. Furthermore Dune was a novel published in 1965 by an extremely homophobic*, cis-gendered and heterosexual white man so I am by no means arguing deviations shouldn’t be made from the original text. They absolutely should especially because the series themes about human complexity and questioning authority seem depressingly timeless and deserve repeating.

However- in the original novel the Fremen were explicitly based on the Bedouin cultures of North Africa and MENA inspired elements permeate all aspects of the culture in Dune, both Fremen and Outsider. Yet despite two adaptions (three if you count SyFy’s adaptions of Dune Messiah and Children of Dune) none have cast MENA performers or tapped anyone of MENA origin to work behind the scenes (Denis Villeneuve’s adaption included).

This current adaption has instead chosen to cast almost exclusively Black actors as the Fremen. I say ‘almost’ because Stilgar, one of the Fremen leaders in the book is played by the white Javier Bardem.

While there is some potential narrative justification for the Fremen being Black as it’s mentioned in the book the Fremen are descended from a slave race and the term Fremen is actually derived from ‘Free men’ after several of these former slaves escaped into the desert.

Fremen tradition says they were slaves. . . for nine generations. -Terminology of the Imperium, Dune

Though that potential justification is weakened since Javier Bardem is again white. It also doesn’t help that Paul Atreides (played by the equally white Timothée Chalamet) is poised to also take on a leadership role both secular and religious amongst the Fremen as a long awaited warrior prophet and messiah.

MENA actors make up less than one percent of current television roles and have equally small presense on the big screen. When they are shown they usually only given stereotypical roles and rarely make any kind of headway in genre films like science fiction and fantasy. It’s a depressing lack of inclusion of people who are quite literally the inspiration for the novel.

Which brings me to the character of Liet-Kynes who’s casting I am most disturbed by. (Spoiler Warning for the 55 year old book from here on out). In the book Liet-Kynes is a half-Fremen man who acts as not only a leader amongst the Fremen but is also able to pass largely undetected in non-Fremen society because of his mixed heritage. Something he uses to protect his people from a largely hostile ruling class but as a man of science remains deeply skeptical of his peoples’ prophesies surrounding Paul Atreides’ messianic potential. (With good reason it turns out as those ‘prophecies’ were largely planted by the outsider Bene Gesserit Sisterhood for their own ends) While he’s initially won over by Paul and his father Duke Leto’s charisma he later comes to regret giving them his allegiances realizing as he dies the danger a messiah like Paul poses to the Fremen culture’s integrity.

No more terrible disaster could befall your people than to fall into the hands of a Hero. . . Dune, Chapter 22

Frank Herbert even has Liet’s body circled by hawks who are the traditional emblem of the Atreides to hammer the point home that the Atreides will be feasting themselves on the vulnerable Fremen.

To put it bluntly Liet’s narrative purpose is to die leaving no room for the Fremen or the larger Dune universe the chance to escape the chaos Paul’s messianic destiny will bring. And Denis Villeneuve has chosen to cast Sharon Duncan-Brewster a Black woman in this role. Assuming Liet-Kynes’ character follows a similar narrative arc as presented in the original novel we are going to be presented with a Black woman who comes to believe a white boy is her long awaited messiah and then be disposed of.

We are in something of a long needed cultural reckoning. Where we have been forced to acknowledge how constantly we have treated not only Black people but Black women as disposable. So in addition to the deliberate lack of MENA cast in any roles let alone Fremen I find this particular change not only tone-deaf but down right despicable. Even worse the film will be including the characters Jamis and Harah. Jamis is a man who Paul kills early into his introduction to Fremen society and who’s widowed wife Harah then tries to seduce to secure her own life but that of her two orphaned children. Which smacks of a multitude of racial stereotypes.

As a queer fan of the books who frequently enjoys dragging Frank Herbert for his authorial inconsistencies and eccentricities (he had a recurring obcession with athletically built red heads with oval shaped faces and wide generous mouths) I am all for radically altering the books’ text. But I am not seeing that with this adaption. Instead it feels like a poorly thought out attempt at diversity as conceived by three white, cis-het white men and I for one will not be watching.

Foot Notes and Sources Cited

* Bruce's homosexuality was had never been accepted by my father, and they had never reached full rapprochement. Still, when my brother came to Seatle he broke into tears while riding in the backseat of my car. Penny and Jan consoled him. My brother told me later that he didn't cry from love, because he didn't feel he loved the man. He said he cried from what he had never experienced in the relationship between his father. I missed almost everything," Bruce said. "I never saw the good side he showed you. He wasn't there fore me." He went on to say that he couldn't watch movies or television programs having to do with father-son relationships, because they upset him so much. I told him that Dad loved him, that he spoke of him often and fondly, and that he just didn't know how to show it. I reminded Bruce of all the ways he emulated our father, and of the many interests they shared . . . electronics, computers, science fiction, photography, flamenco guitar . . . and I asked if that could possible mean that he loved Dad after all. My brother fell silent. -Brian Herbert, Dreamer of Dune

Ramos, Dino-Ray. “Study Shows Bleak Middle Eastern & North African Representation, Reinforced Stereotypes On Primetime TV.” Deadline, Deadline, 10 Sept. 2018, deadline.com/2018/09/middle-eastern-north-african-representation-primetime-tv-mena-quantico-blacklist-tyrant-diversity-1202458101/.

Ramos, Dino-Ray. “'Dune' Trailer: Denis Villeneuve & Cast Talk How Adaptation Of Sci-Fi Classic Will Engulf Audiences On An Epic Scale.” Deadline, 9 Sept. 2020, deadline.com/video/dune-trailer-denis-villeneuve-timothee-chalamet-rebecca-ferguson-oscar-isaac-warner-brothers-sci-fi/.

Coleman, Itané O. Http://Www.ncurproceedings.org/Ojs/Index.php/NCUR2017/Index, 2017, www.ncurproceedings.org/ojs/index.php/NCUR2017/article/view/2246.

HERBERT, FRANK. DUNE. ACE Books, 1965.

Herbert, Brian. Dreamer of Dune: the Biography of Frank Herbert. Tor, 2004.

Please Donate to Black Lives Matter

#dune #frank herbert #denis villeneuve #timothee chalamet #javier bardem #dune 2020

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enchanted--roses · 4 years

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New OC

So this is one of my Plot Bunny that actually became an OC. I stop watching Arrow around the end of the second season but decide to get back to it after the last season (i relly wanted to know the end) By doing this i got the idea of Natalee stuck in my head until i put her in word... Hope you like her!

Natalee Ariel Queen -> Jenna Coleman (Arrowverse OC) -> born May 16,1985 -> Paragon of Loyalty

(I know Jenna is younger than Stephen, but since they gave Oliver a birthday in May 1985 and Jenna was born in April 1986, I’m making them twin 😀 )(Some of the story will be a little bit against Laurel, i don’t hate her like some Olicity shipper seems to do, but since i never really like the actress my problem with the character came from that and how some of the stories portray her. So for some part of this story she will be more “bitchy” than the show, only for a small time) (Tommy will also be different, more mature)

Natalee Ariel Queen, second child of the Queen family, born mere second after her twin brother. Those two will always stay close, never completely moving away from each other. Despite the fact that they were very different from each other. Oliver always acted like a spoiled child and made a lot of problems for his parents, while Natalee never acted like that and could have been seen as the perfect child. At seven she will meet and befriends Tommy and later Laurel and just like it happen for her brother those two will become her lifelong best friends well at least with Tommy it will be. At one point she will meet Sara Lance and despite the fact that Sara was younger, they will become best friends, like another sister. They will always tell each other everything, the only time Sara will hide something to Nat will be the fact she was sleeping with her brother. When Oliver disappears, she will feel her world crashing around her, in one breath she will lose her brother, father and her best friend, it will be Tommy whom will help her go through everything, having himself lost Oliver he will understand what she’s going through. Laurel will separate herself from Natalee thinking that her friend knew about Sara and Oliver, even if the young woman tells her time and time that this was the only thing she never knew. As the years go by, she will finally decide to tell her mother about her plan of not working for the company and het choice to become a journalist. Moira will not understand but seeing that her daughter needs to have her independence and will leave even without her accord, she will give her part of the company which Robert had put in an account that he made sure only Natalee will be able to touch knowing his daughter better than his wife. The young woman will then buy a loft in town, leaving Moira and Thea in the manor. She will also pass more time with Tommy and will fall in love with him, even though he will sleep with Laurel, Tommy understanding quickly the mistake he made and seeing that he had falling in love with Natalee will make his move two years and a half before Oliver will be found on the island. They will begin their relation in the biggest secret not wanting bad tongues and journalists to get involved in their relationship. Despite the fact that they are trying to hide the nature of their relationship, they will not accept any offer to go out with other people, surprising many who saw Tommy as a womanizer. This relationship will change the way of life of the young man who saw what being independent and having their own job can do to a person by looking at Natalee, who seemed more confident and happier. He will find himself a job in management and will work in different nightclub and restaurant to bring them on top, knowing how rich people think. Natalee will be extremely proud of the way he was changing his life around, seeing the man she always knew he could be. To get people out of their space Tommy will be acting around people as the “trustafarian” he was before, using the trust fund his father got from him to pay every excess and the apartment, but having in secret another bank account in his name. In September 2012 as they hear the news that Oliver is found, they will decide to hide their relationship from him, Tommy not wanting his best friends against him, since he slept with Laurel, before beginning a relation with Nat and her cause she will not want him to think Tommy took advantage of her during his absence.

When her brother came back and decides to become the Arrow to fulfill their father’s wish to clean the city, she will decide to become a vigilante herself and help her brother, having discovered his secret fairly quickly, it was fairly easy to figure out since the Hood appears right as Oliver came back. Being an expert swordswoman, she will become Gladius fighting with swords instead of arrows like her brother, surprising Oliver who didn’t know his twin was able to fight with swords. She will hide for a little bit the fact that she was fighting with the hood from Tommy, before going clean not wanting to put their relation at risk, he will be against it a first but will understand she needs to do it, even if he doesn’t know the whole story. As the sibling crusade advance, they will meet Felicity Smoak, Natalee will adore her, finding her way to be amusing and a breath of fresh air and will laugh seeing her brother surprise by the blonde personality. She and Tommy will finally tell everyone of their relationship when Laurel tries to mess with all of them to get a reaction from Oliver and Tommy wanting both men in her life. Oliver seeing his sister with their best friend will be angry at them for not telling him and more at Tommy for sleeping with Laurel before moving on his sister, he will be a little less angry at his twin not able to live without talking to her. This reaction from him will make Tommy separate himself from his brother of heart sooner than when he found out about him being the Hood in canon. Finding out about Oliver will make Tommy understand why Natalee helped the Hood (yes, he will find out sooner than canon). When they found out that Malcolm cut Tommy from the trust fund and took back everything from him, they will decide that now they were living their relationship in front of everyone it was time to move in together staying in the apartment of Natalee, living together will force Tommy and Oliver to see each other since Oliver could never stay angry at his twin. Having no choice to talk to each other for the sake of Natalee, they will mend their broken relationship and they will decide not to talk about the vigilante life, still not in agreement about what they were going. Oliver will ask Tommy to take care of Verdant having heard about the job he was doing in the shadow. The couple will stay together proving wrong to everyone that was giving them not long, especially Laurel who was still trying to have Tommy seeing him in a new light. They will celebrate their three-year anniversary not long before he dies trying to save Laurel, to help Nat and Oliver, who even thought were angry at the young women will never want her in peril, he will call them and left them running to stop the undertaking. After seeing him die in her arm, she will lose herself falling into depression for months reliving what she had experienced when the Queen Gambit drown.

Her brother as he comes back from Lian Yu, with the help of Felicity and John will do everything to show her she is not alone and help her, she will come back gradually to herself, but angry at Laurel putting the blame on her for being in danger in the first place. Knowing full well that the young woman had nothing to do with Tommy’s death and she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. She will try to help Oliver take care of the company and Thea now that their mother was in prison. As the Hood reappears she’ll be asked to do a story on him, she will refuse and ask to do one on the apparition of the new vigilante The Canary. As she tries to find information on the new vigilante, she will discover things about her that will make her question what her brother told her about the island. She will find before her brother who is under the mask of the Canary. As she sees her late best friend, she will be upset having believed like everyone else that her best friend die when the Gambit drown. She will also be angry for a small time against her brother finding out that he knew she survived the Gambit, but will forgive him finding out he thought her dead too since he saw her falling from another boat. The two girls will try to mend their relation and come back to being friends but after everything that happens Natalee was not sure they can come back to being best friends. She will quickly realize that Laurel is drinking too much and that she is taking a lot of anti-depressants, she will try to help her by making her face her demons, Laurel still angry at her for being in a relation with Tommy, will tell her that she was just a replacement in Tommy’s mind for her cause he could not have her and he never love her. Natalee will tell Laurel that nothing she says will ever make her doubt’s the feeling Tommy had for her and when she’s ready to believe in their friendship again she will be there. She will tell Sara that she should try to help her sister and rebuild the relationship she had with her family. Meeting Barry, she will rapidly think of him as a friend and someone she can trust. Those two will stay in contact even after he left Starling City to go back in Central, he will be one of the few to tell her to do an article in other cities than her, telling her she needs to travel and stop being stuck in one place. In December 2013 as she is visiting Barry and searching information for an article in Central City, she is too struck by the wave of dark matter of the S.T.A.R. Labs particle accelerator explosion. They will call her brother since she was not in contact with her mother anymore, he will fly to Central City to bring her back to Starling City. She will be one of the lucky ones that will awake really fast, that accident will make Laurel realize that she could lose her friend without ever saying how sorry she was. This will push Laurel to go and see Nat who will forgive her easily knowing that this day will happen. They will at this moment try to mend the friendship they lost when the Gambit drown.

As she gets back to live normally and go back to being a vigilante, Natalee will soon find out that she is not normal anymore and is now able to manipulate water, not wanting to be a burden for her brother she will try to get control of her power with Barry and the rest of team flash help. She will decide to change her codename to Aquae, finding that Gladius was not her anymore. When Slade decide to hurt Oliver and will kill their mother in front of them, she will decide to go against the men herself, but her brother will stop her not wanting to lose her, having lost too many people. Together they will fight Slade and his men and will emerge from the battle triumphant and will decide to have a normal life. Well, as normal it can be when you are vigilantes. When her brother tries to have a relationship with Felicity, she will try to finally date herself, thinking that Tommy will want her to be happy. She will finally accept a date from one of her coworkers and friends Ethan Nash (Ben Barnes). After that first date, she will decide to try and have a relationship which will last until a couple of months before Crisis. Meeting Ray Palmer for an interview after him buying what was left of her family company; she will find him intelligent and friendly but will keep everything professional and decide to give the rest of the story to Ethan. As they found out about Sara second death, Natalee will lose it and try to find out who did the murder and why. When they found out that their sister Thea did it, Natalee will be angry for her who will always remember what she did, and be angry against herself. When Ra decides to give an ultimatum to her brother and seems to kill him in a battle, she will find solace with Ethan and the rest of the team. When she sees Laurel try to take up the mantle of the Canary and became the Black canary, she will be proud of what her friend was becoming against Diggle and Ray wishes. She will also be happy to see Felicity letting herself go and accept for a little bit Ray advance. As they win against Ra’s al Ghul, she will see her brother finally be happy by leaving with Felicity. Felicity being her best friends after all this time together will tell her that maybe she should think about herself for once and not the city. After that talk she will leave the vigilante scene telling Diggle and Laurel that for once since they began all this, she can have her own happiness, and move in with Ethan.

As Ethan and Natalee get used to living together and being a full-fledged couple, they learn that Laurel and Thea have gone to get Oliver. Natalee will wonder whether or not she too should start her vigilante life again, Ethan knowing that the woman he loves would do everything for her brother tells her to go help him. With her boyfriend being OK with her fighting, she will tell the team Arrow that she is back. When she found out that Thea and Laurel brought back Sara with the Lazarus pit, she will be angry that they did something so stupid. But wanting to believe her friends can really come back she will try to help them. As Damien Darhk begins to attack her brother, she will stick by Oliver. She will try to send Ethan away not wanting him to be hurt, but he will just look at her and tell her that he will never leave her. As she finds out about her nephew William, she will ask many times that Oliver tells Felicity the truth but he will always say no, she will decide to stay by his decision having faith in him and not wanting to lose him like she lost Tommy. But she will tell him that whatever happens between him and Felicity she will never take sides, but some of their decision will upset her. As her relation improves and she begins to become friends again with her, Laurel is killed by Damien Darkh in front of the rest of the team. Not wanting to be in Star City for a time she leaves with Ethan accepting to write a story in Paris, coming back when she learns from Felicity that her brother was alone to fight for the city.

She comes back to Star city to help Oliver, Ethan will join the team as a new recruit, he never told Natalee that he was a martial art pro and that he would be useful to them. They will work together with the new team and do everything for the city. She will be promoted to the redactor in chief when hers leaves to stay with his family. As the time advance, she will not be really close with the newcomer of the team especially Rene with whom she will always clash. When the Dominator attack, she is sent just like her brother in a false reality where she is married to Tommy and she is on vacation in Star City for her brother’s wedding. She remembers part of her real life when she meets the Ethan of this reality whom since they never meet was at the reception as a journalist. Remembering her life will make her understand that even though Tommy was the love of her life and the man she will always love; Ethan was the person send to her to make her love again and will not leave without him. As they come back, she will tell Ethan that she loves him and was sorry that she never told him enough. As their fight against Prometheus becomes more and more intense, they will have a point of happiness in their life as Ethan and Natalee get married. But their happiness will be short-lived when they discover that Prometheus knows everything about their lives. Natalee will also discover that Felicity works with Helix and will tell her that if she does not stop, she will force her to do so to protect their family who do not trust this group at all. When Adrian Chase kidnaps the majority of the team and their close friend, the Queen twins will take desperate measures by recruiting Slade, Nyssa, and Merlyn. Unfortunately, despite the fact that they will win the confrontation, William will lose his mother and Thea will lose her father.

After the events on the island, Natalee and Ethan will decide to stay away from the vigilante world for a while, preferring to live their lives normally. They will take back their costume during what they will call Crisis on Earth-X to help their family. This new cooperation will make Natalee and Kara become good friends. She will also get closer than she was already to Barry and the rest of the Flash team but she will regret not having too much time to know all of them well, still having a crisis to manage. After the crisis they see that there are some tensions in the team, Natalee and Ethan will then decide to stay to reform the Arrow team. Taking up the place that Curtis, Dinah and Rene will give them by forming their own team. Natalee will be the first with Quentin and Ethan to believe that the Laurel of Earth 2 has changed and really wants to stop Diaz. As they tried to stop him once and for all, Oliver promises to get himself to be arrested if they can let him continue the battle, sadly that day they will suffer a loss that will upset them all, they will lose Quentin who will die of the same style of injury as his daughter before. Natalee will then promise her brother that she will look over Felicity and William. She will even force her sister-in-law to tell her where they are in hiding. As her brother is in prison, she will continue the vendetta against Diaz with Ethan’s help. She will want to have nothing to do with the person who was supposed to be on their team and will stick close to Felicity and strangely Laurel with whom she will form a strange friendship, both having to forget the other version of the woman before them. When Oliver was sent back home after five months in jail, she will welcome him with open arms and said that she missed him more than she could imagine that not having her twin with her was too weird, putting a smile in Oliver’s face. As the events of Elseworlds unfold in front of them, Natalee will know that her brother and Barry are in the other body just because of the way they act. As they find out about Emiko, she will begin to think that all her life was a big lie and everything she knew was not real. And that maybe everyone was right the Queens was responsible for a lot of problems for the city. Unless her brother she will want nothing to do with their new sister and will make it clear she doesn’t trust her, but she will stay close to her brother. She will also keep working with the team from time to time but will take more time to work at the journal. When her brother and Felicity leave the city for a small cabin to live there, she will make them promise to keep her in their life. In the flash-forward, we can see that Felicity keep her promise and keep contact with her, Natalee will actually be the only link Mia will have to Oliver during her childhood. She will be able to tell her story of the Queen family and how close they were before he disappears. When Mia will go to Star City and meet her brother and the rest of the team, she will appear before them to help since she will call her. Mia and Natalee are so close that Nat will decide to stay in Star City for a time to help her godchildren with their mission.

Back to the present Natalee will be with John to find Oliver and take him back to their universe. As she sees the version of Tommy from earth-2, she will see how much a small change in history can actually change their life. When they run to try to escape the antimatter she will be tempted to take Tommy with them, but won’t do it. At they come back to their time, she will announce to Oliver that Ethan died a couple of weeks after he left with the monitor, they were working on a new mission with the team when he was shot, and die from his injuries. Oliver will be sorry for not being there for her and will promise that if he can he will be there for her in times of need. When the kids from the future arrive, she will be the first person to whom Mia will open up seeing that even in the past her godmother is the same and will understand her. They will actually be so close that they will train together, making Natalee use swords again after years without using them, relying on her power more than she should. When they found out that Lyla is working for the monitor, she will be angry but will say that Lyla probably have a reason to do this. As the Crisis advance, we found out that she is the 8th Paragon, the one of Loyalty, making her laugh thinking that she was becoming one cause her brother died and they need a Queen in the Paragon. At the Vanishing point, she will try to help Barry and be there for him feeling as lost than him. Proving the reason why she was chosen at the Paragon of Loyalty, cause even though everyone was miles away from their Paragon characteristics she will stick by her and be loyal to her friend. As they got into the speed force, she is thrown away to the time of Tommy dead, Barry will find her and makes her remember that she is need and to come with him. On Maltus she will fight the demon and help the other Paragon before seeing her brother die and create a new universe. She woke in the new world with a big headache lost about everything; she will try to understand was happening since all was destroyed and will decide to find the team. As she leaves she catches a picture of her and Tommy at what looks like their wedding. She will look at the picture a moment before leaving for the Arrow cave, where she will understand her brother didn’t come back like them. After their battle with Beebo, she will tell Sara that she was still seeing her as who she was before and will continue for as long as she lives. When they finally win against the anti-monitor, she will decide that she was leaving for real the life of vigilantes/heroes, and will try to live her life. That night as she comes back home, she will be nervous about what was waiting for her home. At she opened the door, she will see Tommy waiting for her in the living room. Seeing him alive and not a fragment of her imagination will make her run to his arms. The young man knowing what happens to everyone will just keep her close to him, and will tell her everything that happens between them since he was alive. In the new universe they stayed together through everything, and while she did meet Ethan they became best friends the three of them. Some of the things stayed the same about how she became Aquae and how Ethan died, but a lot have changed, like her mother being alive and them having a good relation. But she knew that she will need more than one night to learn everything. She will be happy to see Mia again, but knowing how the young woman got her memories back she will be angry at the responsible. When Felicity will reappears and they will do one last mission together, she will see that she missed her best friends more than she could imagine. At Oliver’s funeral, she and Tommy will be seen sticking together and the young man will support his wife as much she will do the same for him. In the flash we see Natalee and Tommy leaving their apartment for a bigger house and Nat look pregnant.

Ethan Nash -> Ben Barnes(Arrowverse OC) -> born June 22, 1982

#ocappreciation #arrowverseocs #My OC #Natalee Queen #Arrowverse #Ex plot bunny #Ethan Nash #Jenna Coleman #Jenna Louise Coleman #Ben Barnes #Stephen Amell

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magaprima · 4 years

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Same anon of the Mary ask. When it comes to Lilith's happiness I'm a bit selfish, so if before I wanted Adam to be resurrected at all costs to be with Lilith, now that we know Mary loved him back, I have mixed feels at the idea of Adam being back because I'm afraid he'd choose Mary and I don't wanna see Lilith suffer. I mean, she falls for Adam hard, sees him die in the worst way, then he's back and after all the pain she went through in pt3, he doesn't choose her but Mary. Your thoughts...?

I actually have a post in my queue that’s sort of about this.

I am selfish about Lilith’s happiness too and I do sincerely ship Lilith and Adam 2.0 (my name for him to differentiate from the Adam in the Garden) like I love them so much, and in that dream happy denial AU where Adam is resurrected and learns who Lilith is and accepts her and they become a story of legend of the mortal and the First Woman, la la la no bad things ever happened, everyone is happy the end.

But stepping out of that shipper denial bubble....

I headcanoned a while ago that the love between Adam 2.0 and Mary was more platonic. There are a lot of engagements and marriages that are based on platonic love. It’s true, deep love but it’s non-sexual, and can sometimes be between asexuals, or people who are non-het but don’t want to come out, or it can be because friends feel safe with each other, the list is endless and I won’t go into what the reasons might be here. There can also be relationships that platonic-romantic, which is where they feel in love, but things have shifted into a more platonic space over the years.

But I did headcanon the theory that Mary and Adam’s love was platonic, I also followed the headcanon through with the idea that the way Adam and Lilith’s relationship develops through the episodes, and how they sleep together (and as we learn now this would have been Adam’s first time with ‘Mary’ meaning he has only slept with Lilith and not Mary, oddly enough) and stroll through the woods and he asks her to Tibet with him...I feel like they fell in love with each other.

Now, Adam, in ignorance, would just think his relationship with Mary was going to the next level, that his feelings of love were developing into something deeper (something soulmatey, says my shipper heart) rather than the fact he was falling in love with a different woman entirely.

Now, popping back slightly into the denial bubble where Adam gets resurrected and learns the woman he slept with, went to the sweethearts dance with, walked in the woods with, and asked to go to Tibet with, does mean he would have a lot to think over. He loves two women but in two different ways, and he doesn’t want to hurt either of them. And then there’s the factor finding out why and how Lilith looks like Mary, but despite having killed Mary, she did bring her back to life.

I feel that the way for Adam to choose Lilith would be for her to be entirely honest with him, I mean from the very beginning in the Garden, to the fact many of the things she did in Greendale were at the Dark Lord’s instruction, because if we can see her as a sympathetic character who needs support and someone to care about her when we know everything about her, then presumably Adam could too. And the idea of him accepting her for who she is, and admitting he loves her, would be a big deal for Lilith, but even in my shipper denial bubble, I can’t imagine a world where he goes to Hell with her (unless Adam was dead rather than resurrected) I think Lilith would have to make a choice of making a life in the earthly realm, or being Queen. But considering Lucifer comes back and she ends up trapped at the side again, then, frankly, a life with Adam in Tibet, is preferable.

Within this scenario, Mary finds her true love elsewhere (man or woman) or potentially embraces her asexuality (which is possible too) because I don’t want Mary unhappy. But I like the idea of Adam and Lilith being soul mates and that meaning Mary finds her soulmate too. Someone who wants to read books with her and doesn’t travel all the time, and who enjoys all the same things as her and can nerd out with her. Or, as I said, she’s an asexual and embraces that confidently and becomes an icon for all asexual audience members because there aren’t enough characters that represent aces.

I am aware that we are both living in the happy shipper bubble with both the question and answer, but it’s a nice place to be.

I actually genuinely don’t know whether I’ve answered your question or if I’ve just gone into my happy world where Lilith and Adam are cute together and Satan never killed him and made her eat him.

#lilith and adam #Anonymous

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that-curly-haired-lesbian · 5 years

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The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 6/6

Hi guys, welcome to the final part of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

When Evelyn starts telling us about beard #6 she reveals that they got married in Joshua Tree (Pg. 295) which is you know, an actual place and all, but my first reaction was (perhaps understandably given this context)

“You got married WHERE, now?!” and then it took me quite a while to stop laughing and honestly, this is kind of too hilarious not to include!

Evelyn also points out on that same page that she wore an ocean-blue dress for the ceremony.

Though Max Girard (beard #6 and legit husband #2) initially starts out as a non-bearding situation (in a desperate attempt to get over Celia) it soon becomes clear that Max doesn’t love Evelyn, he loves Evelyn Hugo™ He loves the idea of her more than the actual person, he loves the famous persona. Evelyn says:

“I didn’t know how to tell him that I loved her too, but I wasn’t her.” (Pg. 298)

This is that age-old debate of Taylor vs. Taylor Swift™. The two are not the same person and sometimes it feels like (het in particular) fans have as hard a time as Max to make that distinction.

Taylor Swift the public persona isn’t Taylor Swift the person and that is perhaps the most true when it comes to Taylor’s actual love life vs. her fabricated one. There might not be a single fact more important to come to terms with in order to understand Gaylor Swift (and her reasons for being closeted) than that simple one. If you feel lost here, please go read this again!

“When you’re known for being gorgeous, you can’ not imagine a faith worse than standing next to someone and falling short.” (Pg. 299)

And all the young things line up to take your place

In a letter to Celia:

“I hope you will forgive me for being so blunt, but how did we make such a mess of it all?” (Pg. 301)

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe

After years of being separated (yet again) Evelyn finally calls Celia and when they discuss the possibility of getting back together without having to hide Evelyn points out that:

“Everything has changed”

And as proof of this change she brings up the fact that Elton John is now proudly out (this part of her story is set in the late 80’s) to which Celia counters with:

“’Elton John doesn’t have a child and a career based on audiences believing he’s a straight man.” (Pg. 303)

Taylor may not have a kid, but she most certainly has a career based on audiences believing she’s a straight woman and that must be freaking terrifying!!

During that phone call Evelyn explains that she never stopped loving Celia and when Celia questions this by pointing out that Evelyn (in a non-bearding way) got married to someone else Evelyn explains:

“’I married him because he helped me forget you,’ I said, “not because I stopped loving you’” (Pg. 304)

He will try to take away my pain And he just might make me smile But the whole time I'm wishin' he was you instead

During a dinner following the phone conversation Evelyn tells Celia:

“I spent my life hiding so no one would knock me off the mountain. Well, you know what? I’m done hiding. Let them come and get me. They can throw me down a well as far as I’m concerned.” (Pg. 313)

When Celia questions if Evelyn really means that Evelyn assures her that she does.

“Any other line of thinking…It’s how I lost you. I don’t want to lose anymore.”

HELL YEAH, EVELYN IS DONE HIDING!! Also, the “I don’t want to lose anymore”-line reminds me of:

Us traitors never win

And what I said about that line in my analysis of Getaway Car:

What she says I think is that people who pick their career over their love life won’t end up being happy, or “winning” at life in the long-run.

When Celia has made absolutely sure that Evelyn is truly ready to give it all up for her this time she suggests that they move to Spain together, she says she wants to spend her final years:

“On a beautiful beach. With the love of a good woman.” (Pg. 314)

Drinkin' on a beach with you all over me

When Evelyn leaves her sixth husband for Celia he is pissed off and threatens to out her and he does, to untrustworthy magazines and anyone who will listen. (No one believes him, but still) (Pg. 319)

The whole divorce is very bitter and the bitterness of it all kind of reminded me of one of Taylor’s particularly bad bearding situations. But when Max goes so far as to basically say he made Evelyn’s career an even worse taste was left in my mouth……………..

In a conversation with Evelyn about their differing degrees of fame Harry says the following:

“I’m only famous because you’re famous, Ev. They don’t care about me or what I’m doing unless it somehow relates to you.” (Pg. 321)

Here we once again have bearding 101, but also it reminded me of someone…

On page 325 Evelyn refers to Harry as:

“My best friend, my family.”

And while this is obviously said platonically between those two it nonetheless made me think of something that I’m honestly still not over Taylor saying about Karlie!!

Towards the end of her career Evelyn meets a young man named Nick, he wants to be an actor and asks Evelyn for advice. She bitterly considers telling him:

“You have to be willing to deny your heritage, to commodify your body, to lie to good people, to sacrifice who you love in the name of what people will think, and to choose the false version of yourself time and time again, until you forget who you started out as or why you started doing it to begin with.” (Pg. 326) (x)

Evelyn’s friend (and beard) Harry dies tragically in a car accident in 1989

While Taylor has always used the motif of cars/car rides in her music there are A LOT of car mentions on 1989, an album many het Swifties seem to believe to be about Harry Styles, interesting…

After Harry’s death Evelyn and Celia move to Spain together and out of the spotlight they finally get to openly be together and Evelyn “chose the rose garden over Madison Square” if you will and she was extremely happy. About her relationship with Celia during that time she says:

“I cherished every moment we had to ourselves, every second I spent with my arms around her.” (Pg. 344)

When I get you alone it’s so simple

I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets

Evelyn describes her seventh husband and last beard (Celia’s brother) as so charming that most other women were:

“Enchanted by him” (Pg.344)

Oddly specific word choice!

As happy as Celia and Evelyn were at this point in their lives something was hanging over them, Celia was sick and dying. Evelyn tells Monique that when Celia promised Evelyn she’d never leave her again:

“We both knew she was making a promise she couldn’t keep.” (Pg. 346)

Brokeeeeee the sweetest promISEEE that you neverrrrr should have MADEEE

Listen to that you guys, that’s my goddamn heart breaking!!!

CELIA AND EVELYN’S WEDDING SCENE (pg. 347-349) IS SUPER SWEET!!!!!! A fun little detail is that New York (which is as we’ve previously established significant to the Kaylor relationship as well as the Evelyn and Celia one) was made relevant in a scene taking place in Spain (Celia’s shirt)

ALSO allow we to go into crazy fanfic territory here, but can’t you just IMAGINE the “we can get married”-conversation happening between Taylor and Karlie when same-sex marriage became legalized nationwide????

All wlw just want a wife #ConfirmedOnPage349

Seriously, if you wanna be punched in the feels today go read the wedding scene and imagine Kaylor in Evelyn and Celia’s place. (No one is sick in the Kaylor version, but they are deeply closeted and still at the height of their careers) oh, my fragile, gay heart!!

When Celia does die from her illness Evelyn describes her reaction with:

“I fell to the floor.” (Pg. 350)

I'm HERE on the KITCHEN flooOOOOr

Don’t TOUCH MEEEEEE

After Celia’s death Evelyn truly stops hiding in the closet:

“I could not keep my true self from coming out.” (Pg. 353)

“It cost so much, caring. I didn’t have any currency to spend on it.” (Pg. 354)

“People were still easily distracted from seeing how I felt about Celia St. James, but this time was different because I wasn’t hiding anything. The truth had been there for them to grab if they’d paid attention.”

“But of course they got it wrong. They never did care about getting it right. The media are going to tell whatever story they want to tell. They always have. They always will.”

To me this is the essence of the Reputation era, Taylor having realized that she can’t make the media she the truth so she just avoids them and tells the truth to those of us who are paying attention. This time it’s different, because she isn’t hiding anything.

There will be no further explanation. There will be just reputation

Evelyn saying it made her happy to spend money on her loved ones (Pg. 356) makes me think of Taylor being so extra with the fans ❤

“No one is just a victim or a victor. That’s Evelyn Hugo for you, somewhere in the middle.” (Pg. 366)

“She’s painfully human to me now.” (Pg. 371)

Is that Monique saying that about Evelyn Hugo after finding out her true life story or is it me saying it about Taylor Swift after falling down the Gaylor rabbit hole? No one knows for sure…

“Evelyn is going to die when she wants to and she wants to die now.” (Pg.375)

I'm sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now (Ooh, look what you made me do) Why? (Look what you made me do) Oh, 'cause she's dead!

in the death of her reputation she felt truly alive

The huge difference between the death of Taylor Swift and the death of Evelyn Hugo is that Evelyn’s death is literal and Taylor’s is figurative.

Despite this Evelyn’s death is somehow every bit as cinematic as Taylor who just recently killed off her reputation in order to feel truly alive. They’re both still doing it on their own terms, literally controlling the narrative that is their lives up until their last breaths (figurative as well as literal)

“Evelyn trusts me with her story. Evelyn trusts me with her death.” (Pg. 377)

Just as Taylor is trusting us with the death of her false reputation and the truth of her actual story and narrative.

“The tears that come out of me feel as if they were decades in the making. It feels as if some old version of me is leaking out, letting go, saying good-bye in the effort of making room for a new me. Somehow both more cynical about people and more optimistic about my place in the world” (Pg. 377-378)

Okay so this is a lot and it hit me right in the heart! I can only imagine this is just how Taylor felt when she decided that killing of her old reputation and public image was the right move. After everything that happen to her just before she decided to take a break to figure that stuff out (and everything that has happened for her entire career as far as bearding and hiding goes)I bet those tears felt decades (or at least a decade) in the making when they finally came. After all she’s been through in the industry since the age of 16 it’s no wonder if she feels cynical about people, but after taking the break to figure it out and deciding to COME out I’m sure she also feels optimistic now that she’s on the road to being herself publicly. She’s found her place in this world as out and proud and now she’s working towards getting to that place every day.

All these years she’s just been trying to find a place in this world and oh, Taylor, I am so glad you’ve found it! ❤

It must be such a relief to have made up your mind, to not have to be afraid anymore.

“There’s still so much I don’t know about my father. Maybe he was gay. Maybe he saw himself as straight, but in love with one man. Maybe he was bisexual. Or a host of other words. But it really doesn’t matter, that’s the thing.” (Pg. 380)

This is an interesting quote, to Evelyn the word bisexual mattered a lot and to Celia the word lesbian did, as for Monique’s father we don’t know what he would have said on the matter concerning his own identity because he’s been dead since long before the book started. Ultimately Monique comes to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what her father would’ve identified as, as long as she knew he loved her (which it has been shown throughout the book that he undeniably did.)

In the same way we could argue all day about whether Taylor is gay or bi or straight or a “a host of other words” for the time being we’re in much the same position as Monique, Taylor hasn’t told us and it’s not like we can just ask her, but does it matter? We all love Taylor and we know that she loves us. Her being in love with women and writing her songs about them instead of the men we were lead to believe were her muses doesn’t change that. In the end it’s not a big deal whether Taylor is gay or straight, we still love her, we came for her music that we related to and loved and then we ended up staying for Taylor, the person, because we fell in love with her and her storytelling. Who she loves doesn’t change that. We love her and she loves us and that’s all that matters.

On page 382 GLAAD is mentioned by name as an organization that Evelyn gave most of her fortune to after her death.

The piece Monique ends up writing about Evelyn for Vivant summarizes the main theme of the both and to me it also summarizes what Gaylor Swift is about:

The TRUTH behind the SCANDAL that was her love life.

(Pg. 385)

And now for the final piece in this puzzle

And all our pieces fall Right into place

🌈 🌈 🌈

Thank you SO much for reading all of these masterposts, I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed reading that amazing book and writing all of these parts!

#tshoeh #tshoeh spoilers #the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #gaylor swift #kaylor #masterpost

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charismastaticarchive · 5 years

Text

@valorwilled [ ( multi - muse established relationships meme ) ]

😍 ROMANCE BLOOMS. *bold is my character, italics is yours.

annette/dimitri: i haven’t made a FULL canon divergence write-up, but based on all the things we’ve complained about, my dimitri is a little different than canon. but the way i’ve changed dimitri makes this relationship VERY SHIPPABLE. in essence the ship has three moving parts to it/phases.

in the first phase (pre-timeskip), when dimitri and anette form their canon c/b support, dimitri is a very nervous young man. he hides it with his chivalrous, hardworking, princely persona, but underneath that, he is not one to make friends very easily or approach others. but he feels a familiarity with anette--the same she does with him, for having heard so many stories about her from her father. while he does express almost manic embarrassment about the stories gilbert told her about him, he actively wants to talk to her, he makes an effort to talk about his childhood with her, and he’s kind with her, even though he is rather nervous, and does have the funny habit of talking to himself.

in the second phase, (beginning of post-timeskip), dimitri is a changed man. he’s violent and rude. but annette has dealt with other violent and rude people in the past---and MY dimitri is still available to talk to, and will listen to others despite the rudeness he would treat them with, though he tends to seem to be conversing more with himself and the dead. i don’t think anette would put up with the rudeness. she’d be scared of him---but i think she would also treat him much as she treated felix, at least for one B Support-esque conversation, that would make dimitri honestly think about the mean way he treated her.

in the last phase, the “starting point” of my canon divergent timeline, rodrigue does not die, but dimitri is gravely wounded before fleche disappears mysteriously (due to those who slither’s influence). this last phase, dimitri is visited by his friends as he recovers and is unable to fight or seek the vengeance he requires. he will never stop having hallucinations or delusions (and he will in fact still be violent & coarse to begin with)---but he becomes mentally stable again over time & with the grace of his friends. anette, i imagine, is one of his biggest allies!!!

and i imagine, though this is very overly romantic, that they share a very Beauty & The Beast relationship lmfao. but WHERE IT GOES FROM HERE IS WHERE I WANT TO PLOT AND STUFFFFFF.

claude/dimitri: for this route, i would be interested in claude and dimitri being a rivalmance, to use dragon age terminology. while all three lords do not agree with each other---i think dimitri and claude are most ideologically different, as dimitri is something of a centrist in fodlan politics terms. i want to rp them having debates with each other in pre-timeskip, and then their relationship post-timeskip being about war shenanigans side-by-side, as they work to defeat the empire AND maintain a friendship despite claude wanting to change the world, and dimitri only wanting to fix duscur AFTER he gets his revenge.

this isn’t as developed in my mind, but i picture a lot of political intrigue and terseness that gives way to ‘i only get so mad at you because i know you’re capable of better.’ ‘well, i only get so mad at you because you treat me like an idiot.’ etc. its rivalry-to-friends-to-lovers, but the emphasis is always on the rivalry and the friendship imo.

claude/edelgard: okay this is like my het otp for fire emblem right now lmfaooo except NOT HET AT ALL BC THEY’RE BOTH GNC BICONSSSSS I LOVE THEM... i want them to work together to make fodlan a better place! honestly, i would prefer this to fall the canon black eagles route where edelgard spares claude, but the ones who slither have not yet been bested. can you picture edelgard calling for help from the master tactician in secret---because i can, and I LOVE IT. this ship is built on RESPECT but also FLIRTATIONS. and yet i picture them as so repressed with each other, which i love. very victorian romance, no touching until they’ve actually started dating (and they never manage to quite say it out loud besides in jokes), and even then its just the touch of a hand to her back, a hand grazed against his cheek...

dorothea/edelgard: okay this ship is so good and underrated. so what i want here is basically just. dorothea never expected the empress would be her best friend. it feels too good to be true. she bends over backwards to impress her---but edelgard just wants dorothea exactly as she is.

paimonia/edelgard: POST-TIMESKIP, edelgard finds her love continues to ache in her chest. she sees her teacher again and falls in love all over again, and is suprised and mystified and in wonder & awe that they have not missed a beat. still, i think the most interesting thing of plotting this will be that edelgard HAS changed, it’s been five years in between them. while edelgard is still the fierce idealist revolutionary we all know and love, part of her is fearful, part of her is more insecure than ever, and she panics sometimes---with only paimonia to catch her.

paimonia/claude: u KNOW i’m here for some claudeleth. the only lord/byleth ship where the lord calls them ‘my friend.’ like THE EQUALITY OF IT ALL. but also i can see claude/paimonia on other routes, claude sending paimonia letters from secret messengers and spies. always wanting to be by their side....

paimonia/dedue: this ship’s ESPECIALLY cute with my dedue and your paimonia in particular because they both HATE crowds and love solitude. they are both quiet and kind, and the greenhouse is their special garden to just be themselves, quietly alongside each other....

😀 FRIENDS FOREVER.*bold is my character, italics is yours.

claude/dedue: claude mentions dedue in his speech against racism, and yet they never even TALK?! imagine dedue being the only one that knows claude’s secret because claude trusted him to tell him. dedue wants rights for every oppressed country, same as claude.

ignatz/sylvain: okay the LADIES’ MAN and the OPPOSITE OF THE LADIE’S MAN. i’m picturing a HITCH situation (a la will smith and kevin james), BOYS GETTING UP TO HIJINKS, IGNATZ NOT WANTING TO GO ALONG WITH THIS AT ALL, SYLVAIN DETERMINED TO MAKE IGNATZ A MAN WORTH WOOING, but also sylvain is really really bad at girls actually and ignatz is... disgusted. but they are friends, even if ignatz thinks sylvain is gross af.

esther/sylvain: i just want to interact with ur ocssss pal... LET ME AT EM...

dedue/esther: you mentioned EXPLICITLY that esther is pro-duscur rights and dedue would LOVE THAT, though he might talk to her about toning it down for the sake of her reputation... still, i see esther making dedue more confident.

dorothea/dedue: two muses without parents or ‘real friends’ find each other and find happiness side by side! both of them getting on each other’s nerves like siblings, but having each other’s backs... idk i just vibe with this lol.

😇 FAMILY VALUES. *bold is my character, italics is yours.

dimitri/paimonia: we talked about byleth being like dimitri’s THERAPIST MOM INSTEAD OF LOVE INTEREST BUT LISTEN... what if we made that... INTENTIONAL. paimonia being the parental figure dedue hasn’t had in years. this could be cute and good for character development---especially if paimonia doesn’t WANT to be dimitri’s parental figure and they have a long talk about boundaries, only for paimonia to feel forced into the role anyway, and it’s angsty and character development-y and good.

edelgard/fleche: post fleche’s brother dying, edelgard steps in. ‘nuff said!

👿 RIVALS TO THE END. *bold is my character, italics is yours.

dimitri/fleche: there’s a CERTAIN period of time in which dimitri and fleche are in the same place, and they both do absolutely nothing. i want them to talk. i want fleche to manipulate and dimitri to prove what an asshole he is. THIS MIGHT JUST BE A SINGLE THREAD BUT I NEED IT!

edelgard/dimitri: i find their dynamic really, really interesting, because edelgard could be so MEAN to dimitri, but she’s really, really not. i want to see their relationship unfold pre-timeskip, them trying to get closer for their own reasons (edelgard because it’s better to have the kingdom on her side for diplomacy, him because he wants to be close to the only family he has left). it’s mostly awkward, but it could be kind of sweet---up until things are REVEALED, AND IT HURTS EVEN WORSE.

dorothea/sylvain: i want a FULL HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SHARPAY VS GABRIELA CONFLICT HERE. DOROTHEA BESTING SYLVAIN AT HIS OWN GAME---SEDUCING GIRLS AWAY FROM HIM WITH PLATONIC TEA PARTIES AND NOT-SO PLATONIC “SLEEPOVERS”.... SYLVAIN AGHAST. YOU CAN REJECT HIM ALL YOU WANT BUT WHY WOULD U STEAL HIS GIRLS.... meanwhile dorothea is regarded as hero, while sylvain plots against her to turn the tides in his favor...

#ooc #valorwilled #HMU IF UR INTERESTED IN ANY OF THESE IDEAS!#{ fandom: i am finally me | fe3h }#long post cw

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zmediaoutlet · 5 years

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you saw endgame! please share with the class! assemble!

haha, okay, well–here’s some thoughts, since we’re far enough out that I don’t think this will be too spoilery for people – but it’s gonna be super long, so it’s under a cut, either way:

Well, it was–spectacular! In that it was literally a spectacle, for one thing. I had pretty lowered expectations after not particularly enjoying Captain Marvel (it was fine, but boring) or Infinity War for that matter (better-made, but the stakes were obviously nonexistent because we knew something was going to be done). Here, though… I just really, thoroughly enjoyed it. It was thoughtfully done, well-executed, and just as a moment of payoff for those of us who have been here all ten years… It was just really something. I saw Iron Man on opening weekend in 2008 and fell in love, and even if I haven’t loved every single movie since then, I feel like Marvel just sent me a love letter, and I was so–glad. What a good movie-going experience it was.

I say all that having seen SO MUCH rending of garments and gnashing of teeth from the !stans and shippers, but all of that’s so very much missing the point. This is the story of *this series*, this great arc that led to this point. The thing to remember is that the MCU is fanfiction itself–it’s based off of characters who are based off of characters from a canon that’s been rebooted and re-blended about a billion times. This is the story this group of fic-writers, essentially, chose to tell, and I think they did it pretty damn well. You can write your own fic where Steve weeps into Bucky’s hair for 70 years if you want to. This story isn’t that, and that’s okay. (Genuinely, if fandomites could take like half a step back they’d be much happier people. I know it’s hard–I’ve been in a process of letting go with SPN that I haven’t really managed to do well–but c’mon. Don’t get so het up about it.)

Some things:

1) I was genuinely impressed with the time travel mechanism, especially as it bounced meta-ly off of other examples we’ve seen in pop culture. Finally, a story that allows ACTUAL alternate-universe time travel instead of boring-ass time loops. I’ve always thought it was spectacularly dumb when the worry is “but if I kill myself in the past, I’ll die now!” Nope! Avoided! Thank you, folks. It’s kind of weirding me out that so many people online seem confused about how the time travel worked, but it was incredibly clean and I just want to high five the people involved. The one thing that seemed like a plot hole was Old Steve at the end, with the implication that he was co-existent in this timeline for 70 years (and did nothing about Hydra??)–but then the Russos said that they assume he went to an alternate timeline, and then came back to this one to give Sam the shield. It wasn’t on screen either way so you can make your own headcanon, but I’m good with that. So: successful time travel. Hoo-fucking-rah.

2) Thor. This was the one real spoiler I had going in, that Thor Got Fat. All this weeping about how he’d been mistreated by the narrative. So, I was pre-emptively worried… and then ended up not thinking it was that bad. Look, I’m a chubster, I’m well-aware of how sensitive that can be for people. What I found interesting about it was that it was, yes, kind of a visual joke, just because The God of Abs was a pudge, but it was actually treated remarkably kindly by every character for whom that would be in-character. Meaning, sure, Rocket makes fun of him, and Rhodey’s kind of a dick (because Rhodey’s like that with Tony, even)–but Bruce, Steve, and even Tony all deal with him quite gently. That scene where he tries to volunteer for the gauntlet and Tony carefully holds him back was so sweet and sad. Poor guy. It was a good exploration of the depths that the last ~10 years of his life have pummeled him into. It wasn’t that he was fat, it’s that he was broken. People will make up their own minds about the equivalencies there and what’s being implied, but it was a good visual metaphor as far as I was concerned. If he were “just” a sad drunk no one would have believed that he wasn’t ready for what was coming, and he wasn’t. But he got better, because his friends really were there for him. (Also, Korg was wearing Taika’s pineapple shirt! I hope there are nice fics where Korg and Maik gently just play XBox with Thor because that’s all they can do for him.)

Also on Thor, re: Thor/Loki – more rending of garments about how he didn’t go see Loki. Let’s think about this: you’re on a top-secret time mission to save the universe (Time Heist!), and you go see your trickster god little brother who, yes, you miss, but who also hates you at this point in his life. That’ll go well. I completely understand why there wasn’t a scene. The scene with Frigga was all I needed there.

3) Steeb: I’ve never been the… biggest fan of Steve. I mean, he’s fine. His character is caught awkwardly between the man, Steve Rogers, who abhors bullies and will break rules to do what’s right, and between The Man, Captain America, who kinda Is Rules and needs to do what’s right but also represents an idea greater than himself. There’s a lot of wonderful tension there, but the movies haven’t particularly capitalized on it, and when they’ve tried it’s been in a lip-servicey way.

That said, this movie deals with it really, really well, I think. At the beginning he’s trying to live, and isn’t doing a great job of it. The plan they come up with is simple, perfect heroism – he’s not representing an Ideal, but he is one: he’s the man and the ideal simultaneously, that striving toward right will eventually create a more just, fairer world. If sacrifice is required he’s willing to make it. That scene of him standing alone against the massed forces of Thanos with his broken shield strapped tight to his arm is like a distillation of who Captain America should be. I’m so glad we got that, at the end.

As someone who doesn’t invest in Steve/Bucky but who completely understands it, I also see no issue with the thing where he goes back to Peggy. Bucky understands, too. That moment where they hug and he tells Steve, so-softly, “I’ll miss you,” oh man, oof. Bucky knows. I hope there’s a lot of pining!Bucky in that fandom, y’all are missing out on a STELLAR opportunity if not. Especially pining!Bucky where Steve knows and can only do his best to be Bucky’s friend. Steve going back isn’t out of character, either, despite the clamoring. He misses Peggy, he misses peace. Who knows what they got up to in that alternate timeline–maybe he and Peg went and routed Hydra early, maybe they saved Bucky, maybe they had a WWThreesome with Buck, whatever. But Natasha and Tony both told Steve to “get a life,” and he finally got to. He’d done enough. He earned it.

4) OH MY GOD, NATASHA. What a character arc. I friggin’ adore the mirroring of her and Clint’s stories. The brutal assassin who gained a family and learned what it meant to love something so much she wanted to sacrifice herself for it–those scenes on Vormire were heartbreaking. I’m also super glad that the movie paused, after that. Someone called her death “fridging” – wow. No. She was a hero, as much as Tony was. Whatever it takes.

5) Tony. Holy shit. In a lot of ways this was his movie–in a more meta way, it was RDJ’s movie, and Favreau’s, and Feige’s. It all started with Iron Man, and that’s where it ended. There wasn’t a stinger scene because we got that funeral and then the moment in the credits with the originals signing the screen, and of course they saved Robert for last. The success of this movie is really a testament to the risk everyone took, way back then. It sure as hell paid off.

“You wouldn’t lay down on a grenade to save your men,” Steve said. How many different ways can Tony prove him wrong? At least once more. ;-; I’m just super emotional about the whole thing. So many good moments all leading up to what happened. Little Morgan in his helmet, Pepper’s faith. Steve’s faith, for that matter. (I still have a tiny pocket of my heart reserved for Steve/Tony, no matter how non-canon it is. What a great relationship they have.) The panic and misery when Carol brought them back, calling Steve a liar, and Steve just–gentle with him, again, and how there was no anger there anymore. Argh.

That’s the thing that I think I appreciated about the movie most, in the end. Despite all the craziness, the spectacle, the easter eggs slinging at you left and right (”Hail Hydra.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!), what I loved most is that in the face of this ultimate goal, this literally universe-saving moment, the stakes were actually felt because the characters (and actors, and script) sold how unimaginably important it was. Interpersonal bickering fell by the wayside; any dumb conflicts just washed away. No drama for its own sake, or manufactured arguments. Just–working together. The Avengers we hoped to get in the aftermath of the first team movie. We got ‘em, finally, even if we lost a lot too.

This all sounds super elegiac, I guess. It sort of is. It wasn’t a perfect movie by any means, but it might be perfect for what it meant to do, and what it set out to do. There were a couple of little nitpicky things that I might change, but they’re so small so as not even to be mentioned. And so many more tiny moments that I loved, loved, loved. It’s the first one of these movies that I’ve wanted to rewatch in literal years, and that’s making me really happy all on its own. I’m just left with this utter… satisfaction. Not sad, just happy that they made it worth my while.

Put another way: when I was leaving Shazam I felt like I’d spent about 4 hours wasting my time. When I was leaving Endgame, I felt like it had been an instant. Just yay, all ‘round. I loved it three thousand.

What did you think?

#ombrecoeur #avengers #endgame spoilers #...i have a sneaking feeling i could get hate for this #pls note that the views above are the sole property of etc etc #i just really liked it is all #just a lot #i keep thinking about it #keep thinking about little moments that were great #and if that isn't a satisfying movie experience idk what is

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