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#also set my screen time for 4 hours
firstluvlatespring · 2 years
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battery at 13 percent rn going to let my phone die and not charge it until morning <3
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atticrissfinch · 5 months
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(His) Home for the Holidays: A Meet Me in the Back Christmas Special | (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)
Part 4 of Meet Me in the Back
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pairing: sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader summary: joel texts you while he's horny during the holidays, and you decide to visit him at his house after work. warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] age gap (no specifics), size!kink, daddy!kink,  face-ridin', dick-ridin', ass-eatin' (Joel tosses reader’s salad and gives her a side of housemade ranch iykyk), kissing after said ass-eating, some nasty cumplay, brief fingering, kissing!!!, taking nude photos, unprotected PIV, pussy...job? idk reader strokes him off w her pussy lips, v brief mentions of cigarettes and weed, fluff??, characters actively avoiding Feelings™!!!, so many fucking stupid dirty christmas puns, reader can fit in Joel’s coat, has hair, and doesn't necessarily celebrate christmas, but is very familiar with it ig word count: ~5.2K | ao3 a/n: thank you guys so much for loving this fucker as much as me. we get into some real naughty list shit here!! i hope you like it, and don't be mad at me about the end ok thx <3 also s/o to @cafekitsune for the adorable divider! Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow @atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic! Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Kofi
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The days before the Christmas holiday are always the longest. The office is relatively empty, no real action happening, and yet you’re stuck here for eight hours a day regardless. You find yourself bogged down with busy work and rubbing at your eyes with the strain of staring at your screen. 
You hear a vibration on your desk and check your phone. 
Joel: Wat r u up 2?
You roll your eyes a little, but you won’t lie to yourself. You're glad for the distraction. 
You: Working
Joel: cum over
You: I literally just said I’m working dude
Joel: leave early. want u
You: I can’t just leave early. I’m stuck here. 
You huff and toss your phone on your desk, trying to get back into your flow, but your phone keeps buzzing. 
Joel: im so horny 4 u rite now
Joel: cock is all harddd
Joel: needs 2 be inside u
Joel: permishin 2 send pic???
You groan, your forehead falling into the palm of your propped arm. He has gotten much better at asking before he just sends full hog, and you’re grateful for that. 
You glance around quickly, ensuring that no one is lurking in the proximal area, and you give him the go-ahead. God knows you need a little excitement while you’re dying of boredom in corporate America. 
The picture arrives quickly, and you look around one more time before opening the text. 
He’s actually taken the time to set up his phone at the end of his bed, clearly with a timed shutter, because he’s naked, up on his knees, with one hand gripping his massive length and the other dangling a twig of some kind of greenery above it…is that mistletoe?
Joel: u gotta come kiss it now. sry I dont make the rules
Fucking mistletoe. 
You: Jesus. Did you buy mistletoe JUST for this little bit of yours?
Joel: no comment
Joel: cum over and suck it baby he needs it real bad
You don’t know what the fuck it is about this man, but he’s getting more and more dangerous for you. You’ve become much more inclined to jump when he says so. And the sight of his cock, thick and hard and ready for you has your body responding in kind. You squirm in your chair, pressing your thighs together and feeling the pressure building there. 
You sigh and respond. 
You: I’m off in three hours. Don’t you have to work tonight?
Joel: its my day off. let santa stuff ur tight little stocking real nice n full bby
You scoff at the cringey line, as used to his disgusting language as you are. 
You: Yikes
Joel: yikes what? 
You: Just everything about you. 
Joel: and yet u scream around daddys cock all the same every fuckin time dont u. dont kid urself. just cum get ur present
You drop your head back with a quiet whine, the arousal between your legs only intensifying as he lays out so plainly how deeply he’s come to own you and your desires. 
You don’t let yourself linger too long on your response, promising you’ll be there as soon as you’re off and requesting his address. 
__
The mobile home park where Joel lives is…not exactly well-kept, but you try not to judge. You get momentarily lost, but eventually see Joel’s beater pickup truck pulled up next to one of the trailers, and you pull in next to it. 
You: I think I’m here?
You confirm the number on the outside of the house and gingerly step out of the car. 
Joel: doors open
You steel yourself as you climb up the small flight of rickety, crumbling wooden steps and pull the clattering metal door open. 
“Joel?” You call out, taking in his living space for the first time and kicking off your boots. 
It’s pretty small, but you suppose that’s fitting for a man living alone. A minimal kitchenette cluttered with food items and dirty dishes, a shrunken living room with a ratty couch and a recliner set in front of a television with a chipped coffee table littered with beer cans, cigarette butts, an overflowing ashtray, and a bong. A skimpy fake Christmas tree adorns the far corner of the room with cheap ornaments, some tired-looking garland, and flickering multi-colored lights, but it does have a certain charm to it. 
“Back here,” You hear him call out from the end of the narrow hallway to your left. You shrug off your purse and coat and hang them on the hook by the door, next to his coat. The same coat you’d wrapped around yourself when he helped with your tires. 
Curiosity gets the better of you, and you lean in to take an exploratory sniff. 
It still smells like him, of course. His cologne, his cigarettes, his weed. But there’s something else. The very subtle aroma of your perfume. An indulgent smile bleeds across your face. Sure, maybe he’s just lazy and hasn’t bothered to wash it. But you like that you’re there. That it’s not just him leaving bruises and ink on your skin and a deep aching between your legs every time he fucks you, but you’ve also left your mark on him. 
Your reverie is interrupted by Joel’s voice once again from down the hallway. 
“Come see what Santa brought you for Christmas, darlin’.”
You shake your head, but your smile is still intact. 
The floorboards creak under the shag carpet as you make your way towards his voice. His door is only partially shut, so you slip yourself inside tentatively. 
And he’s there, just as you’d suspected. Naked as the day he was born, lounging on top of his sheets with hands clasped behind his head. He's got one leg extended and the other bent and spread wide to showcase his hard cock slapped against the pudge of his stomach. He's still got that tacky gold cross around his neck. But the pièce de résistance is the goddamn Santa hat placed jauntily on his head. 
“Knew you’d come runnin’ when I called.”
You click your tongue dismissively against the roof of your mouth and curve a hand around your hip. “Please. You had to beg to get me here. You and your Discount-Strip-Mall-Santa ass.”
Joel’s face pinches, tugging at the rim of his cap, “Ouch, baby. This here’s the finest quality Santa hat that money can buy at the dollar store.”
You snort, wetting your lips against your tongue as you banter back, “Shouldn’t you be ringing a shitty bell at the local grocery store panhandling for donations or something?”
“Nah,” Joel refutes, scrunching his nose in the most annoyingly adorable manner, “Gave me the boot after I fucked all the lady clerks in the break room.”
“Ah, naturally,” You nod, stifling a giggle. 
You watch as his eyes give you his customary scan from head to toe. 
“Goddamn. Look at you, all done up.”
You glance down at yourself and lift a brow at him as you jog your memory of your chosen outfit for the day. Black trousers, a button-up blouse, and a simple blazer. Nothing you’d normally bat an eye at, but you guess Joel has only ever really seen you in casual clothes. “This? Really?”
“Mmhm,” Joel hums, scraping his teeth over his lower lip as his gaze heats up. “Daddy likes.”
“Wait, I’m confused,” You joke as you crawl onto the bed, Joel tracking you with his eyes along the way until you’re straddled above him. “Are you ‘daddy’ or ‘Santa’ right now? I’m a little lost in this roleplay.”
Joel chuckles, pinching your chin in his fingers and angling you down toward him. “Come on, now, ain’t you ever heard that song? ‘I Saw Mommy Kissin’ Santa Claus’? We’re one and the same, darlin’.”
“That mean I’m supposed to kiss you now? I thought that only applied to your cock, Mr. Mistletoe,” You laugh. 
Joel shrugs, leaning his head up closer to you. “I’m not picky.”
You stare at his lips and weigh the decision. You’ve never kissed him before. He’s kissed parts of you. Possibly every other part of you. But never your mouth. And since you know very intimately what he smells like, you have a good idea what he’ll taste like as well. 
You sigh, meet his eyes for a beat, and then press your lips against his. They’re soft, faint remnants of chapstick clinging to the crevices, serving as a gateway to his already searching tongue. You welcome him into your mouth and he strokes at yours with an unexpected tenderness, tasting how you’d imagined. The tang of his most recent cigarette, the depth of every smoke he’s had every day prior, a hint of mintiness from either gum or toothpaste. And the weight of his tongue in your mouth…it rivals what you’ve felt of his cock when you’ve tasted it. Maybe not in size, but in sheer magnitude. 
You lock your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and drop down to grind your crotch against his cock, your nice dress pants be damned as his dripping head soaks into the fabric and you continue luxuriating in the feel of his tongue filling your mouth. 
Joel grunts at your movement, tugging at your hair enough to lift your lips from his. “Sweet as a fuckin’ sugarplum, baby.”
“And that’s not even where I’m sweetest,” You whisper, smiling against his lips. 
“Don’t I know it,” He mutters, capturing your lips again and squeezing at your ass to kickstart your grinding again. “But how about you remind me?”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhm. Come ride Santa’s face.”
“I don’t remember that part in The Night Before Christmas,” You tease, twirling the ball on the end of his cap. 
“Probably stuck it in them footnotes,” He chides. “Take off your pants.”
You dismount to shuck off your trousers, and the rest of your clothes just to save time and not feel so overdressed in comparison, and he manhandles you until you’re situated directly above his waiting mouth. 
“Take a seat, darlin’. Might not be Santa’s lap, but it’ll be just as comfy, I promise.”
You don’t take much convincing, to be completely honest. You very willingly subscribe to the philosophy that if a man suffocates on your pussy, well…there’s not much of a better way to go. So you sit until Joel’s facial hair scratches and prickles at your skin, and you feel the broad length of his tongue stroking up the line of your pussy. 
You moan out a breathy sigh and settle yourself onto his face, your hands stabilizing on either side of the pillow cradling his head, and start to roll your hips against the graze of his tongue. He’s attentive and thorough as he works at you, alternating between lavish licks to your folds and circling your clit with the point of his tongue, making you gasp and your stomach tighten intermittently. 
It is a little weird not having him spewing heinous shit into your ear as he pleasures you, but you’re certain his brain is actively crafting more bizarre turns of phrase to plague you with as he eats you out from below. 
His tongue spears and you moan out as he penetrates you with the muscle, fucking into your slick entrance as you rock down onto him harder. Joel moans in return, his brows drawing together as he strives to fuck you as deep as possible with his chosen tool. 
“Oh, fuck, Joel, that’s…god, that’s so fucking good,” You whine, raising a hand to squeeze at your tit and steadying yourself against his wall above his head with your other hand. Joel must get inspired, because his own hand comes to grope at your unattended breast, working it in tandem with yours. 
His other hand presses upward lightly on the back of your thigh, and you lift, looking down with a shred of concern. 
“Just wanna knock at that back door a bit, baby,” He reassures. 
“Huh?” You ask, brain a little fuzzy with arousal. But then his nose is nudging at your pussy and his tongue is prodding at your asshole, and your voice cracks mid-moan at the blissful sensation. You’ve never had someone eat your ass before, never really cared, but holy fuck. “Oh my god, Joel.”
“Call me ‘daddy’, sweetheart. Or ‘Santa’ if it gets you off,” He offers before diving back in on the tight ring of muscle with his lips and tongue. 
“Fuck. Daddy…” You whimper as you feel the tip of his tongue breach the pucker of your asshole. The whole “daddy” thing is a losing battle at this point if he’s just going to push for it each time, and you might as well lean into it. He sucks lightly at the ring of you as he thrusts it inside softly. “D-daddy, that’s…”
You swear he laughs against you as the hand on your breast slides down to your hip. And you can’t help yourself, you dip your hand below your stomach to play with your clit to build upon the pressure Joel is stoking in your belly. The hand on your waist inches inward until his thick, wide thumb is sliding into your cunt, fucking you in time with the thrust of his tongue in your ass. 
“Oh, god, daddy, I’m gonna come,” You whine, increasing the pace on the sensitive bud of your pussy. Joel growls between your cheeks, sucking and fucking you until you buck up into your hand with a shout and your pussy beats against the pads of your fingers. You feel your ass squeeze around his tongue, your cunt around his thumb, and Joel grunts as he coaxes you through your orgasm. And he doesn’t stop until you physically pull yourself off his face and fingers and collapse onto his chest. 
“Oh fuck,” You pant, your mouth agape and dragging against the sheen of sweat on his skin. “No one’s ever done that before.”
“Not one goddamn motherfucker has eaten your ass?” Joel asks, his voice appalled but delightfully raspy and wrecked. “That’s a fuckin’ crime against humanity. That’s a perfect fuckin’ ass.”
“You probably wouldn’t be surprised how many men don’t give a fuck about going down on a woman’s pussy, let alone their ass.”
“Fuckin’ absurd,” He mumbles, smacking his hand on your asscheek and gripping it under his fingers. “Ass deserves to get fucked every which way.”
You shake your head vehemently. “You’re not fucking my ass with that third arm between your legs,” You shut him down immediately. “I’d never shit normally again.”
Joel rolls his eyes and waves his hand dismissively. “We’ll just table that for now.”
“No,” You protest, slapping his chest, “Not tabling. It’s buried. Six feet under.”
“Alright, alright,” Joel concedes with a chuckle, gripping the back of your leg and hitching it at his waist. “Guess that snatch is still plenty tight for me, ain’t it?” He says, latching onto your lips, sucking your response off your tongue. It’s only after he’s invaded your mouth entirely that you recall where he’s just been, but the dizziness in your mind has you shoving that knowledge as far back as you possibly can. 
“And what about me?” He nips at your lip with a grin. “You wanna lick Santa’s big candy cane?”
“God,” You huff out with a smile of your own, your forehead dropping onto his chest. 
“Or would you rather just take a ride on his North Pole, huh?”
“You know, I almost respect your commitment to this bit.”
“What bit? Can’t a guy just get in the holiday spirit with his little hoe, hoe, hoe?”
“Ok,” You groan, pushing yourself off of him to get up from the bed. 
“Woah, now, hold on,” He protests, a strong hand circling your arm and gently tugging you back. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere yet.”
“Why? I got what I wanted,” You shrug, sitting back down beside him and laying a hand on his chest. “Santa is seeming a little selfish right now. Isn’t it the season of giving?”
“Season of givin’ you this dick, maybe,” He retorts, pulling you onto his mouth again, and you groan against him. He croons at you as his lips brush yours, “Let me fill that stockin’ like I said I would. Show you what Santa’s got for you in his big sack.”
“I already know it’s coal. Can’t be anything else when I’ve been letting a strange old man hit it this often,” You say, wending a hand down south to wrap around what you can of his cock, and grinning with pride when you see his eyes pull toward the back of his head as you start to stroke him. 
“Well, that’s because I know all the best puss is on the naughty list, don’t I?” He groans, thrusting into your hand. “You don’t think Santa gets his little helpers from the Nice List, do ya?”
“Guess you got me there,” You concede, leaning down to taste him again. He moans into your mouth as you jerk him, and the sound of him so desperate and horny has your pussy thirsting after him again. 
“Climb back on top, little sugarplum. Let Santa deck those fuckin’ halls of yours,” He breathes over you, and you don’t even question it, you just swing your leg over his hips and settle the lips of your pussy onto the length of him. You skate your soaked core up and down the underside of his cock as it rests against his stomach and dip your thumb into his tip to simultaneously massage his frenulum with his own wetness. 
“Christ,” He pants out, clamping a hand onto your hip to push and pull you up and down the outside of his cock. “I could fuckin’ come from just this, baby. But I need to fuck this nasty little slit.”
“What, no dirty holiday-themed pun for that one?” You smirk as you take hold of his length and position him at your entrance. 
“Just eager to fill you with all my Christmas spirit, darlin’,” He rasps, squeezing at your hips and stroking the creases of your thighs with his thumbs. 
“There it is,” You quip as you sink down onto him slowly, your mouth dropping open as he…well, he does a damn good job filling you with that colossal Christmas spirit. And as your ass sits flush with his thighs and his cock kisses your cervix, you have to admit…you’re feeling pretty goddamn jolly. 
The ease of which your body welcomes Joel inside you now has you equal parts comforted and terrified. If you’d have told that naïve, reckless young woman who flashed her tits at a convenience store clerk that you’d soon be hurrying over to that man’s dilapidated single-wide in a sketchily quaint trailer park, sitting on his monster of a cock like it’s an old friend, bantering with him about his stupid fucking puns…you might’ve had to admit yourself somewhere. 
But the way he fills you, makes space for himself within you, makes you feel like you’re the most velvety, divine cunt he’s ever sunk into, it sends tingles up your spine and a pulsing in your pussy. 
“Shit, baby. Lookin’ like a star on top of a goddamn Christmas tree with my big trunk shoved up inside you. ‘Cept you got these sexy little ornaments,” He coos, cupping your tits again and fiddling with your nipples between his knuckles as he gropes at them. 
“Play with them a bit more,” You moan, grinding on his cock and feeling it drag against your walls, “Maybe I’ll light up for you.”
Joel smiles wide, massaging your breasts with rough, dexterous hands. “Look pretty bright already to me with this cock rammed up your tight little cunt. Got you glowin’ with it, baby.”
“Shut up,” You brush off, embarrassment heating your cheeks as your hips begin to rise and fall onto him. “The glow just comes naturally. Nothing to do with you.”
“Sure, sugarplum. All you,” He placates, leaning up to suck one of your peaked buds between his teeth. You gasp as he grazes over it, pinching the other in his hand as his upward movement causes his dick to drag along your cervix. 
“Oh my god,” You keen, toppling forward onto his chest and burying your face into his neck. Joel’s hands glide around to your back, holding you against him and using his new leverage to thrust into you from below. 
“That too much cock for you, baby?” He sings in your ear as you clench around him. “‘S it overflowin’ your little stocking? Rippin’ at your seams?”
“‘S deep,” You manage to whine breathily. “So fucking deep, daddy.”
“I know, little sugarplum. Daddy gets real fuckin’ deep, don’t he? So good at takin’ all this cock, baby.”
You whimper into his neck, your nails scraping down his back as he fucks you open on his lap. Your clit grazes against him and you can feel your release climbing again as he continues to pound into you. 
“You’re not gonna come again are you? Slutty fuckin’ thing. Can’t help but squirt all over this massive cock, huh?”
“C-can’t help—fuck, daddy, I can’t,” You cry, your teeth scraping at his neck as you grind your clit against him. 
“Yeah, fuck, baby. Make a mess around daddy’s cock,” He orders as he thrusts, pulling your hips down onto his length. 
Your vision starts to shimmer around the edges as he slams into the end of you, and you feel yourself splintering open, losing all grip you have on yourself. You burst apart around him with an inexcusably loud, animalistic scream, one sure to spark gossip among Joel’s neighbors for days to come. 
“Fuck yeah, such a nasty fuckin’ slut. Feel you soakin’ my cock, baby,” He grunts, your juices flowing out of your pussy and down his balls as he fucks you through your orgasm. 
And you can’t seem to get anything else other than “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” for a good thirty seconds. Joel seems to revel in that, encouraging it as his cock keeps splitting you open. 
“Yeah, that’s right, tell me who’s makin’ you feel so fuckin’ good. Who’s big dick keeps you fallin’ apart like this. Good fuckin’ girl.”
Joel has no intention of letting you rest as he chases after his own completion, and his hips start to hammer up into you as he edges closer. 
“Fuck, I’m close. You want me to come down your fuckin’ chimney, little sugarplum? Give you a real fuckin’ white Christmas?” He grunts as his fingers dig into your hips and his cock pounds against your walls. 
You squeak out some semblance of an answer, unintelligible, and bear the brunt of his cock seeking its release. 
“You know what I want, darlin’? Want you to jerk off my cock with those pussy lips like you were before. You do that for daddy?”
You whimper and nod into his neck, and you gasp when his length slips out of you entirely and he drops you on top of him. 
“Grind on it, baby. Stroke daddy off with that drippy little fuckhole,” He instructs, helping to guide your hips back and forth. 
You undulate your hips on the exterior of his cock as you stay buried in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily into his sweaty skin. 
“Let daddy see you, sugarplum,” He urges, pushing you up by the shoulder until you’re upright. 
You position your hands behind you and fall back onto them, giving Joel an unobscured view of your movement on him with the strength you’ve regained since your disorienting release. Your lips glide along him effortlessly with the ample supply of your own slick and come. Joel starts to jerk you forcefully back and forth on his cock with hands on your hips, like a ragdoll, until his grunts morph into deeper moans. 
He finally comes with a slew of curses, his spend spitting from his cock directly onto his stomach and throughout the hair smattered on the skin there. You slide on his length until his hips buck with sensitivity and you slow to a halt, panting and staring down at the mess you’ve both made on his abdomen. 
“So fuckin’ good for me, baby. Shit,” He groans out, stroking his hands down your slick thighs. 
“That was…kind of incredible,” You breathe, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand. 
“‘S’all you, baby. ‘S’all you,” He praises, and actually seeming to mean it this time. 
You smirk slightly as you swipe a finger through his semen and pop it into your mouth, moaning around it. 
“Fuck me, sweetheart. That’s…that’s a fuckin’ sight,” He sighs, dimpling your thighs with his fingers. “How about you go for another little ride on daddy’s tummy, huh?”
You quirk a lazy eyebrow at him and then drop your gaze to the mess on his stomach. 
“Come on, sugarplum,” Joel rasps, nudging your thighs forward until you’re hovering over the puddle of his come, “Dip your cookie in Santa’s milk. Just like that.”
And you’re too far gone to even unpack the weird shit he just said, you just lower yourself down onto his soiled belly until you feel it seep through your folds. Your hips move almost on autopilot, dragging through the mess and honestly…feeling fucking heavenly. The slick slide of it over your core, the slip of his hair swirling in his own spend on each pass of your lips, the low rumble of Joel’s voice as he coaxes you on. 
“That’s so fuckin’ pretty, baby. Seein’ my nut coatin’ that beautiful snatch. Can I take a picture of it?”
You nod, leaning back on your hands again while he retrieves his phone from his nightstand. 
“Spread those messy lips open for the camera, sweet little sugarplum.”
You do as you’re told, tilting your hips up and using one hand to part your lips. You hear him snap a couple of photos and then he turns the phone around to you for your inspection. And it looks hot as hell. Your puffy cunt drenched in both of your fluids, his hairy, curved stomach very clearly soaked with the evidence of your activities. 
“Send that to me.”
He smirks up at you and you watch his fingers move on his phone until you hear a buzzing in the heap of clothing on his floor. You lean down and put your weight on your elbows on either side of his head, lips ghosting over his mouth. 
“Thank you, Santa,” You whisper, sealing your lips together. 
He moans into your mouth as your tongue strokes along his. You suddenly feel something plopping onto your head and your eyes fly open, hands shooting to the top of it. Joel’s grin is incandescent as you realize he’s rehomed his Santa hat. 
“Gross,” You groan, flicking at the fuzzy white ball at the end of it. “It’s all sweaty.”
“So that’s where we’re drawin’ the line now?” He jokes, stroking his thumb down your chin. “Looks better on you.”
“I dunno,” You impart nonchalantly, avoiding his gaze. “Didn’t look so bad on you.”
“I’ll be damned. You think I’m handsome, sugarplum?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Y’did. I heard it loud and clear.”
“Hearing things, old man,” You dismiss, dropping one more kiss to his lips and unstraddling his lap, your pussy making an entirely unsexy suctioning noise as you extract from the stickiness between you. 
“That was fuckin’ hot,” Joel remarks, rolling onto his side and hauling you back towards the bed by the back of your thigh. You yelp quietly as you stumble forward on the carpet and feel Joel mouthing at your messy cunt. 
“Ok, Jesus. Down, boy,” You giggle, shoving Joel’s head from between your legs. Joel’s smile doesn’t budge as his mouth shines with your shared spend. 
“Sorry, baby. Just too fuckin’ tasty. Irresistible.”
“You’re ridiculous,” You mumble. “Where’s your fucking bathroom?”
“Door on the left,” He answers smugly, settling back in against his pillow with his hands clasped behind him, just as you’d found him, only sans his festive hat. 
You roll your eyes, maybe with a smidge of affection, and head off to clean up. 
“Mmm. Hate to see you go—”
“Don’t finish that,” You cut him off, not even looking over your shoulder as you go. 
“Give her one Santa hat and suddenly she thinks she’s got allll the power,” He calls out after you as you slip into the bathroom, and you can’t wipe the stupid fucking grin off your face. 
When you’ve relieved yourself and tidied up a bit, you re-enter his room with a clean washcloth. 
“Don’t get any funny ideas,” You raise a brow at him as you throw your leg over his thighs again and begin softly wiping at his belly. 
“Ain’t nothin’ funny about this, baby. Just a nice view,” He says, unbothered against his pillows. “I could get used to this.”
“Don’t,” You say as sternly as you can, but you can’t rein in your smile entirely as you do. 
“I won’t,” He pauses, eyes flicking to your hat, “Mrs. Claus,” He ends with a smirk. 
“Okay, we’re not…” You head him off, plucking the hat from your head and chucking it at his chest as he laughs and you try not to smile. “Keep that shit to yourself, please.”
“Whatever you say, sugarplum.”
You wipe at his stomach as the conversation settles, but not for long. 
“Thanks for takin’ pity on me this joyous holiday season. Fuckin’ an old man and all.”
You glance up at him long enough to see the sly little upturn of his lips, his heavy, sleepy eyelids, and shake your head a bit as you focus back on your current task. 
“You’re not so old,” You utter quietly, but you’re sure he hears it. “As far as I know, anyway. And you can still get it up. That’s what I care about.”
“Yeah? That all?”
You jot your eyes up to his face again, then quickly back to his stomach. “Yup.”
You see him stick out a lip and nod out of the corner of your eye, securing his hat back on his head. “Fair enough.”
You sit back on his thighs and toss the dirty rag into his overflowing hamper. “Well, thanks for my gift, Santa. I’ll forgive you for not wrapping it, I guess.”
Joel scoffs, squeezing at the side of your thigh. “You ain’t ask me to wrap a goddamn thing since the first time. Haven’t heard you complainin’ ‘bout it.”
“Guess not,” You muse, your fingers subconsciously filtering through your folds for a moment. “Anyway, I should go,” You mutter as you come back to yourself. 
“Or you could stay,” He poses, gliding his thumb over your thigh. “Could play again later. I got all night.”
“I don’t think so,” You mumble, maneuvering back onto the floor and pulling your clothes on. 
“Hey,” He calls softly, and you look up at him as you do up the fastenings on your trousers. He’s got a crease between his brows. “This is just fun. You and me. That’s all it’s gotta be, yeah?”
Your fingers stumble as they button up your blouse. “And that’s all it’s gonna be. Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
You smooth out your collar and take a deep breath. “Yeah. So. Thanks for the fuck. It was good. Really good.”
His eyes roam over you and settle on your face. “Anytime, sugarplum.”
You nod once, resolutely, and head out the door.  Next
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YALL WE HAVE FANART!! Please check out this adorable depiction of Sleazy Santa Joel 😭😭
Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow @atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic!
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httpdwaekki · 2 months
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soothe | h.j.
summary: you were well aware of jisung's anxiety, but you notice he takes a certain interest in the ink on your skin.
wc: 966
warnings: brief mentions of anxiety, mentions of the reader having tattoos. not proofread at all. lowercase intended.
a/n: i used to color and trace my tattoos when i got anxious so i was just thinking about ji doin the same thing. also it is very late and i'm running on a solid 4 hours of sleep but i wanted to write something so now we have this LMAO. anyway i hope u enjoy and as always, drink water, eat something, and take ur meds. <3
my library
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(pictures are not mine! credit to owners!)
you were well aware of jisung's anxiety. you yourself suffered from it so you understood, the feelings and frustrations that came along with the sinking feel.
you weren't always sure what would trigger the uneasy feeling in the boy, but you were there no matter what. you knew sometimes you just had to put on an anime and hold him until he felt better.
other times you'd sit and listen as he voiced this thoughts running rampant in his head.
however there was something new that you noticed you would lay with him. he'd trace the ink along your skin, drawing every line and every shading etched into your soft skin.
you noticed it when you were laying on your bed one day when the ugly feeling settled in his tummy once again. jisung was in front of you, his back to your chest, yours leaning against the head board, arms wrapped loosely around his torso, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on his stomach.
jisung was barely paying attention the show lowly playing on the screen. not that you were either, hyper focused to gage any change in his demeanor, making sure he was relaxing.
that's when you felt it, the soft brush on your arm, right where your favorite flower was inked into the skin of your forearm. you glance down, watching for a moment, as he traced the lines one by one before moving on to the next section of art.
you couldn't help the heat the rose to your cheek, as he careful recreated the marks so beautifully etched onto your skin. as you watched you had an idea. you place a soft kiss to his hair before lightly tapping his tummy.
"get up for a second bub, i'm gonna grab something quick." you felt him tense, turning his head towards you, hesitating for a moment. "i'll be right back jagiya, i promise. less than 2 minutes." he slightly nodded before sitting up. you place a kiss on his shoulder as you scoot out from behind him.
quickly making your way to your office, you find exactly what you were looking for. you quickly grab it, making your way back to your room. you find jisung in the same place you left him, expect he looked zoned out, toying with the strings of his hoodie.
you sit beside him, placing a gentle hand to his puffy cheek. you looks up, boba eyes shining with worry. you could practically see the thoughts clouding his pretty mind. you give him a smile before placing the bag of colorful markers in his lap.
he looks down at the bag and back to you, confusion now present in his eyes. "so you could color them in if you want." you shrugged, getting up, kissing his forehead before moving to lay behind him once more.
you lightly pull him back into your embrace, arms finding home around him once more. his head positioned on your collarbone, under your chin, relaxing into your touch.
a few moments later you hear the sound of plastic rustling and the familiar sound of markers clashing against each other. once he found the color he was looking for, quietly taking the top off, and begin carefully coloring each one in.
you had a perfect view at his art from above him. your other hand continuing the soothing circles on the skin of his stomach. you smile and you watch him go from coloring to watching the tv. you place a kiss to his hair once more, as he finishes coloring in your ghost. he caps the marker, placing it back in the bag, before carefully setting the colorful ink on your bedside table.
he turns around as he makes his return to you, his turn to wrap his arms around you. you gladly take him into your arms as he shoves his face into your neck. you stay there for a moment before he places a kiss in the junction of you neck and shoulder.
"you okay, ji?" you asked softly. he nods, "i'm okay baby, thank you." he gives you one more squeeze before pulling back.
"what would i do without you, hm?" he asks, placing peck to your lips. your lip turn upwards slightly, "i'm just helping you, jagi, you deserve to be happy." he kisses you once more, this time with a bit more passion.
"you're gonna make me start crying." he mumbles against your plush lips. "okay well don't do that, cause that'd make me sad." you shake your head. "how about i order us some take out and we just stay like this for the rest of the night?" you offer, staring into his boba eyes.
"and if you wanna talk later, i'm here to listen okay?" he nods, falling back into your embrace. "i love you okay? i'm always here, whenever, where ever, you say the word i'm there." you place a kiss to the side of his head.
you feel his breathing start to become uneven, panic arising in your chest. "ji? hey, hey, talk to me baby." you pull him back to look at you. big eyes now brimmed with tears. "what's going on in that head of yours, hm?" ask, rubbing his cheeks.
he shakes his head. "nothing, i just really fucking love you. i don't know what i ever did to deserve you." he says, tears slowly making their way down his face.
"you're you, you deserve everything i can give you and more, okay?" he closes his eyes, nodding his head. you place kisses over each eye lid and finally his forehead.
you pull him back to you, and that's where you stay for the rest of the night. wrapped up in each other, eating ramen before falling asleep in each other's arms.
p.s. new username ah !! i used to be voidreams but i wanted a change hehe. but i hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are always appreciated but never expected :3
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revasserium · 3 months
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hiii can i pls request zayne with prompt 60 “home”? also love ur writing btw and i look forward to reading more of ur works <333
send me one + a character and i'll write u a drabble
60. home
zayne; 2,264 words; fluff, fem!reader, no "y/n", whipped!zayne, implied sex, fade to black, zayne being a simp as per usual
summary: a friday afternoon
a/n: idk i just love writing dialogue for zayne he's so !!!!
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The Hospital - Friday, 4:36PM
Linoleum floors and fluorescent lights; the smell of antiseptic, the rhythmic beeps and hums of heart rate monitors and nebulizer machines. He spends too much time here, knows the flow of the hospital like he knows the web of arteries and capillaries in the human body, the wards branching off of each other, the hustle and bustles of nurses and staff familiar, oppressive.
It is only in the quiet of his own office, with its big windows and even bigger piles of paperwork (be it virtual or physical), that he ever allows himself to relax. He glances at the vase of brightly colored tulips on his desk and allows himself a grin. He remembers the shape of you, can feel the weight of your hand in his as you’d tugged him around the farmer’s market on Sunday morning, pointing at the various vendors, asking to try a bite of this and a bit of that, until finally, you’d come across the flower seller — a middle-aged woman with a sweet smile and a gleeful glint in her eyes as she explained about the language of flowers.
“There’s sunshine in your smile,” you’d repeated, looking down at the yellow tulips before grinning up at Zayne.
“Perfect for you, isn’t it?”
He could hear the tease in your voice, see that familiar playful twinkle in your eyes and he’d raised an eyebrow before wordlessly handing over a few bills from his wallet.
And now the flowers sit, quiet save for all their brilliance, on his desk, in a simple vase filled with crystal-clear water. He stares at it for a second longer before pulling out his phone and swiping it open to your contact.
Coming home early today, he texts. Immediately, a typing bubble appears, and a second later, a short shoomp sound as your reply appears on his screen —
oh? dr. zayne leaving work early??? is the sun setting in the east today?
He chuckles to himself before dialing your line and a second later, your voice answers, a little hesitant.
“Hello?”
“If you’re going to be sarcastic, at least do it in person.”
Shuffling noises, and then — “Not my fault you’re never around for me to be mean to you in person.”
Zayne leans back in his chair with a sigh, “Hn. How’s shopping with Tara?”
“Fun! But my legs are getting tired…”
“I can meet you at the main shopping center around 5:30.”
A moment of quiet, and then “Ah… but that’s still an hour from now…”
Zayne scoffs, “I could stay till 7PM like I usually do —”
“No, no! That’s… that’s not what I meant — I’ll see you at 5:30, then? Don’t be late!”
You end the call before he can protest and for a second, Zayne stares at the screen, the picture of your smiling face fading after another few seconds as the phone screen darkens.
“Doctor? Your next patient is here,” the nurse calls through his closed door.
“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Zayne glances once more at the yellow tulips on his desk before pushing himself up and adjusting his white coat. He’ll have to make a note to change the water soon.
City Center Shopping Mall - Friday, 5:38PM
“You made it!”
Zayne turns at the sound of your voice to find you slightly breathless as you jog up to him, coming to a stop a few steps away.
“You sound surprised.”
A blush dusts your cheeks as you avert your eyes, “I — I’m not! I just thought… you might be a bit later than this.”
Zayne keeps his expression neutral even as he reaches out to take your hand, casually lacing his fingers between yours. He feels you give him a small squeeze and contents himself with letting you take the lead as the pair of you start to wander through the mall, glancing at the window displays.
“Oh… that smells good!” you both pause as the smell of scallions and garlic warms the air. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, “I think it’s coming from that restaurant over there! Tara was telling me that it just opened a week ago and it’s already going viral online for their stuffed pancakes —”
“C’mon then.” Zayne starts off for the restaurant.
“W-wait! We don’t have a reservation! We’ll never get in!”
Zayne keeps walking, gently tugging you behind him till you both round the corner to see a truly impressive line outside the restaurant doors. He walks passed the massive line straight to the front where a smiling girl in a flowery apron stands at an electronic podium, taking down the names of the next party in line.
“Is Liam here?”
“O-oh! Uhm, I think so!” the girl blinks, surprised as she looks down at her reservation list, “May I ask who’s asking?”
“Zayne.”
The girl nods as she slips into the restaurant. Beside him, you look up, confused.
“Do you know someone here?”
Zayne nods but doesn’t explain any further as the smiling girl comes back and motions for you both to follow her.
“Right this way Dr. Zayne! Enjoy your meal!”
Zayne gives your hand a small tug as you stumble after him, the confusion on your face blossoming into something like surprise as the pair of you duck into the bustling restaurant to be greeted by an enthusiastic young man, around Zayne’s age, his sleeves rolled up, a bandana tied around his forehead.
“Zayne! You should’ve told me you were coming!”
“It was a last-minute decision,” Zayne supplies, shaking Liam’s hand firmly, pulling you into his side even as Liam’s eyes slide onto you.
“Oh… is this the girl you were always talking about back in —”
“I think we’ll take a booth in the back, thanks,” Zayne cuts him off with a loud cough, already making for the back of the restaurant. Liam laughs good-naturedly, leading you both to a booth tucked in the very corner, away from most of the noise and bustle.
You inch into the booth, casting Zayne a curious look.
“Is that the owner? How do you know him?”
Zayne doesn’t look up as he glances over the menu before pushing it towards you.
“We went to medical school together. Pick anything you want, it’s all very good.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, “And he decided to become a chef instead?”
Zayne’s lips twitch, “Is that so unbelievable?”
You shrug, looking down at the menu at last, pursing your lips, “No… it’s just… did he drop out of med school then?”
Zayne shakes his head, “No, he was one of the best in our year.”
“Oh. Then…?”
Zayne taps the menu, “I thought you were hungry.”
You blush, looking down, “I am!”
It’s not till the middle of the meal that Zayne speaks again —
“He said it didn’t make him happy.”
You look up, your cheeks bulging with food. Zayne watches you swallow with a concerted effort, reaching out to wipe at your lips with an indulgent smile even as you swat at his hand.
“Liam? About… being a doctor?”
“Yes. And… in a way, I understood him. He said that the kitchen’s always felt more like home.”
You purse your lips, looking at your half-eaten stuffed pancake.
“Then… does the hospital feel like home? To you?”
Zayne chuckles, leaning forward to add some more veggies to your bowl with his chopsticks.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Then…” you trail off, waiting for his answer. There’s a familiar color seeping into your cheeks as Zayne looks you over before his eyes flicker down to your bowl.
“Eat. Or else the veggies will go cold.”
Zayne’s Apartment - Friday, 7:01PM
“I’m so full!” you slump down onto his couch with a long sigh, patting your stomach.
“You were the one who wanted seconds of dessert,” Zayne says, hanging up his coat and turning to join you on the couch. You make a small noise as he lifts your legs and lays them across his lap, his thumbs absently digging into the backs of your calves.
“Ow…” you make to jerk your leg away as he hits a knot but he only grips your ankle and pulls it back with a soft tut.
“Hold still.”
You bury your face in one of the couch cushions as he continues to silently knead at your calf muscles.
“There, better?” his voice is soft now, tugging on the frayed ends of your subconscious as you turn your head to blink at him, a bit dazed.
“Yeah… lots better. Thanks.”
You make to get up but he loops an arm around your back and lifts you easily from the couch, bridal style.
“Zayne?”
“You’re staying the night, right?” he asks, even as he makes for the bedroom.
“I — I am?”
He glances down at your face as he sets you down on his bed.
“I can still drive you home if you want —” He makes to pull away.
“No! I — I can stay. I mean — I want to stay.” You reach up to tug at his shirt, fingers crumpling the material as he stills. You can feel your cheeks blazing as his gaze flickers over your face before settling on your lips.
“Alright then.”
There’s a breath’s pause before you give his shirt another tentative tug and he tips forward with the motion, leaning in to brush his lips against yours.
A soft groan bubbles out of you as Zayne presses you back and back and back, until he’s caged over you, trailing hot lips down the line of your neck, skimming his teeth along your collarbones.
“Mm — Z-Zayne…?”
He pulls back, his eyes a bit unfocused as he looks you over — you can feel the weight of his gaze as it flutters over the planes and ridges of your face, from the arch of your brows to the line of your nose. You can’t help blushing beneath this intense scrutiny, and you tug once more at his shirt, your fingers somehow having inched up to his collar, one of your fingers hooked into the top loop of his buttons.
He reaches up to cover your hand with his, fingers easily curling around your smaller hand.
“What is it?”
You lick your lips, stomach twisting, the base rumble of his voice sending shivers shaking through your body.
“Nothing just… I don’t remember you drinking at dinner so…”
He leans down to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand before dropping it back to his shirt collar.
“No, but… alcohol’s not the only thing that might cause someone to lose hold of their senses…”
You watch as his eyes darken at your intake of breath, the way his grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly.
“Then…” you swallow, eyes fluttering shut as you feel his lips trail back up your neck to your jaw.
“Are you going to make me say it?”
You let out a tiny whimper as he presses a leg up between yours, his breath now hot against the lobe of your ear.
“Say… what?”
Zayne pulls back just far enough to cock an eyebrow at you. And like this, you’ve never seen anything so alluring — the sight of him with his shirt tugged open, his eyes blown dark with desire, his hair slightly mussed from your eager fingers, his lips kissed pink, his cheeks warm with color.
“Hn. Is this my punishment then?”
“For what?”
“For being late to meet you.”
You fight back a grin, “Well… you did say I could be mean to you in person.”
Zayne lets out a sigh, “Alright then.”
You walk your fingers up his chest before pushing him back till you’re both sitting up again. He waits patiently for you to push him down and straddle his hips, slowly tugging open the buttons of his shirt, loosening his tie till it hangs undone around his neck. You lean in to press a soft kiss to his chest and revel in the way he hisses.
His fingers reach up for your hips and you catch them with a quick shake of your head.
“No touching… not till I say.”
Zayne stares at you for a second before relaxing and letting his hands fall back onto the sheets.
And it’s not until you lean down to kiss at his exposed abdomen that he groans, head tipping back. Then, a second later, you find yourself pinned beneath him, breathless, Zayne towering over you with parted lips, the moon casting stark shadows along the lines of his face.
“I said you could be mean… I didn’t say I wouldn’t retaliate.”
After, when the pair of you are curled into each other like pieces of jigsaw puzzle that’s finally found its missing parts, his breath warm along the nape of your neck, Zayne finds himself smiling.
“It’s always been you…” he murmurs, though he’s nearly certain you’re already asleep, your breathing sweet and level, your body pliant and perfect against his.
He laces his hands between yours and drops a soft kiss onto the skin of your bare shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter what I do… or where I do it… because my home has always been… you.”
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thewinchestah · 4 months
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"Good things come for those who wait" - Alastor x reader fic
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Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader
Tags: ,18+, Smut, NSFW, edging, BDSM, Alastor does what he wants, there's plot if you squint really hard, alastor in heat, breeding kink, Possesive! Alastor, Jealous!Alastor, Protective!Alastor, spanking,degradation kink, praise kink, Angst with a happy ending, fluff, I didn't proof read this, english isn't my first language, no beta we die like men here, etc etc etc
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Word Count: there's no point guys. I can't stop talking.
A/N: WOAH!! Hello everyone!! What the fuck?? I wasn't expecting my "debut fic" to blow up like that! Thank you so so much to everyone who took the time to read it and leave a comment! I'm truly flattered by your praise. So, I hope this sequel to "PREY" does it justice! (but it can also be read as a standalone). Let me know if you guys like it, and if you have anymore ideas/suggestions! I'm tagging everyone who asked me to, so if you want to be tagged on my next fics let me know! Without further due, here comes that mostrosity of a fic! Hope you like it &lt;3! (UPDATE: PART 3 IS NOW UP!!)
Part I  | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Taglist: @smallershorteranduncut @markster666 @jyoongim @stygianoir  @pepperycookie @fraspent @aether-th3-enby 
It all started, as many things do, with a joke and a simple misunderstanding. Dying and instantly going to hell is not easy. Being in hell and not understanding why the FUCK you are in hell is confusing, frustrating and sometimes drawright ridiculous. There’s no guidebook for the hellish afterlife, and more often than not you felt lost at sea, drowning. Until you found your questionable lifeline, the Radio Demon. 
Somehow said demon clocked really early on that you were completely infatuated with him, but too scared to act on it. And oh, how he gave you enough reason to be infatuated, enough reason to be scared. Luring you into the most delicious trap, Alastor had claimed you as his. His to breed during the height of his heat, his to care for, his to inflict the most heavenly torture. 
Being caught up in the middle of the living myth that was the Radio Demon was a dangerous thing, you had been warned over and over again. So of course that you had to almost fuck everything up in the silliest way possible.
The obnoxious TV set, also known as Vox, had just started another round of his futile attempts to win Alastor’s attention by airing the most absurd reality tv character assassination ever. You would put money on the fact that the obsessive flat screen was a deceased TLC producer. Usually, any of his pompous i-hate-alastor-so-so-much!!! fits would be met with enthusiasm around the Hotel. Everyone would cramp in front of the TV and make fun of the entire ordeal. Even Alastor would tag along and make a private edition of his radio show while he counter-narrated that nonsense. It became a fun bonding activity for everyone involved, it was a nice thing. But there’s a reason why you can’t have nice things.
Today the Hotel was mostly empty:, only you, Angel and a very on edge, sexually frustrated, irritated Alastor haunted its posh walls. Still, you and Angel carried on with the little tradition sitting side by side in front of the tv not knowing what to expect from today’s “My Strange Addiction - Alastor’s Version” episode. It was truly a laughable attempt of a character assassination, actors who could not act saying things like “Alastor isn’t even as bad as everyone says, his torture tactics are not that special either. My mom’s aunt was tortured by him and was going to work 10 hours later”, “i walked down the street today and alastor didn’t even try to kill me when he saw me crossing the street, he’s all talk” “i have video footage of the self-proclaimed cannibal eating a chocolate covered strawberry. He’s cannibalbaiting.”
“no self-respecting overlord would go out wearing those ridiculous out-of fashion clothes”. 
Angel was having the time of his life leading the daily Vox roast session, the spider was funny and you couldn’t hold the laughs. The camera cut to a close-up of Vox, babbling on about technology and the anti-Radio Demon speech you knew by heart at this point. As if on cue, Alastor entered the room. But the pair of you remained oblivious to his presence. 
“Toots, you totally should apply for this show! I mean it!. I’m sure Vox will buy literally anything you say. Anything! If you say Alastor likes to eat red nail polish cause it looks like blood he would believe it! You laughed at his words, what a ridiculous thing to say. You loved red nail polish, alastor drinking it because it looks like blood is absurd. “I mean, look at you!! Look at this face, these eyes!! This body!!!” Angel gave your thighs a playful slap. “If you say hell is actually cold using all that i would eat it right up. Vox will be too busy staring at your boobs to notice you dropping that even the oldest radio looks better than that fucking flat face”. The thought that you were the mind-numbing type of beautiful made you laugh. Sometimes you felt like your friends were being way too kind with the flattery about you. You were nothing special at all. It was nice of them to be kind to you, adapting to your new lifestyle was taking a visible tool, anyone could tell. Their efforts were honorable and sweet, but you just couldn’t let yourself believe what in your heart, you knew was a lie. A beautiful, comfortable lie, but still a lie. You weren’t much, you were just lucky. You started to laugh even harder, out of pure nervousness as your brain started to snowball into all the things you weren’t. 
“ Seriously Angel, you have the strangest ideas ever!” you tried to sound normal, putting up a confident facade. That helped, a lot. You had picked that up during your days with Alastor. 
Speaking of the devil, Alastor wasn’t amused by your little display. Standing on the corner of the room as you laughed, he made himself known by walking out of the room, in hurried steps. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t think much of it. But you weren’t anyone else. You were Alastor’s. 
And that’s why he was seething with rage. His rut always drove him, an already unpredictable man, to the brink of true, pure instinctual insanity. He had to grip his marvelous constructed self control painfully hard. Since your paths crossed, the most chaotic part of his existence seemed in control, your pretty little body always ready to take him, your eyes always holding his gaze in a maddening  comfortable way, the way you would push your limits just for him. 
Only for him.
And the worst part was your softness when it was all done. Alastor would fuck you rentless, for hours, making you take all the mess of his most animalistic desires without a second thought. Both of you would be spent, bathing in the afterglow, room smelling like sex, and you would ask him if he needed anything. Him, that just fucked you so hard so won’t walk straight for a week, that feasted on the blood of the love bites he inflicted, him that covered you in a painting of bruises. 
How could he not want to just lock you inside his lavish room and give you all the rings of hell? to carve his name deep into your soul? to dote on you? to make him the only thing on your mind as he makes you his time and time again in the most sinful ways?
It was simple really, why he was shaking with anger: how you, who was his, was even thinking of being in the same vicinity of that scum of creation?  LAUGHING AT THIS ABSURD CONCEPT. Vox thinking of you was already a crime punishable by painful death, but Vox looking at you was heresy, and the entirety of hell would pay for his transgressions. 
As Alastor stormed off towards the Hotel’s large room corridors, he took several calming breaths. Losing control like this wouldn’t do anyone any favors. In the troubled waters of his mind, Alastor could only think of 3 things: you, fucking you and murdering someone.
 So he didn’t even realize your hurried steps trying to catch up with his long strides.
“Hey sugartits! Don’t take too long doing whatever you need to do! there’s a woman going live after the break saying she saw Alastor eating an entire packet of PAPER TOWELS!!! HAHA! This shit is too good to be true!” you heard angel scream.
Adding insult to injury, nice.
Trying desperately to reach your demon lover gait, you could only think about how bad you had messed up. Alastor was your only true respite in hell. He was a blessing in a mist of the worst humankind could offer. He made you feel hope, more than making you feel alive, he made you feel glad you’re dead. The Radio Demon felt like coming home. You just wanted to make it up to him. You could not lose this, lose him. You were not sure you would survive it. And who knew where you went after dying in hell? 
It doesn’t matter where you go after hell, it doesn’t matter at all if Alastor is not there. Your brain added to your inner monologue. True.
“Alastor! Wait” you shouted. He stops dead on his feet.
Finally, those long long legs of his do not make chasing after your love any easier.
“Alastor, I'm so so sorry. Angel gets way out of line sometimes and I was nervous” he is perfectly still, ears pinned back, listening. But doesn’t say anything back.
“Al I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, at all. Look, let’s try to do something to make your day better. I know how hard this season is on you, I know you feel like you are losing contr-
Uh oh.
oh shit.
You used the two forbidden words together. The temperature in the room drops, Alastor snaps towards you. You feel something gripping your throat mercilessly, as you fall to the ground. Looking at the other end of the corridor Alastor has you on a leash of his magic. Eyes burning red, forehead marked “x” he grips your chains hard, pushing you towards him.
“That was a brilliant speech, little doe. Truly marvelous! I’m sure your television debut will be quite the show you were planning!”
His antlers were growing, his demon form showing itself as he becomes taller and taller over you. All bared teeth and flashing red eyes. This is what everyone warned you about. Don’t get in the Radio Demon’s way, he is dangerous and insane. You will regret it.
Hot. your brain thinks. He pulls your leash even tighter, and you feel wetness pooling on your core.
“Do you have any idea what I was about to do before I heard you so selflessly offer your services to that pathetic excuse of a demon?” Dragging you by the magic chains, his towering frame comes down to meet you at eye level. You can’t say anything back, your brain short circuits and goes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“You know better than leaving me waiting for an answer at this point, pet” He grips your face using his sharp claws,the pressure threatening to break skin. “But you seem so hellbent on being a bad girl today, I shouldn’t expect your usually good girl’s behavior, should I?”
You are, once again nothing but a doe caught in the headlights of his eyes
“One should always know better than expecting their fantasies to be true”
His sclera goes black, only the tiny blazing red radio dials devouring you as he stares so deep into you, you feel feverish. 
“But since we are already here. I. Will. Tell. You.” static picks up around the room and surrounds you both, the corridor is illuminated by an eerie green light. You start to kinda fear for your life, but Alastor has you completely hypnotized by the radio dials on his eyes. You shiver in anticipation. 
 “I was coming to ask you, to please, spare me a part of your day, away from you friends. Because the only thing on my mind has been you. Fucking you. Sinking my cock so deep into your tight, wet cunt it would mark your soul. Because you are the only one who can take me like this, who deserves being bred by me, who deserves every drop of my seed”
You feel the wetness on your panties grow until it runs down your thighs. There’s nothing right about this, but your dear Alastor showed you long ago how the concepts of right and wrong are meant to be skewed.
“But oh well, you seem to have your affections directed elsewhere…” he tsks at you using that delicious mocking tone. “But, you can’t blame a desperate man for trying” he goes from 100 to 0 really fast, his voice softens so much in a way that’s almost too heavy to hear after all that. Even with his demon form still very much present  “Do you still want to make my day better, pet?”
you are at a loss of words, but you manage to nod desperately. The anticipation of what he is going to do to you makes you giddy. 
He manhandles your leash until you are on your knees in front of him, tugging on the chains so you look up towards his crotch. He makes quick work of his pants, pulling his cock out. Hard, angry hot red coloured. Angry because of you, angry for you. 
“Open wide, little one” and without much more warning, Alastor is fucking your face, hard and fast. 
You position your arms behind your back as quickly as you can.  You know how hard it is for him to be touched when his rut is peaking. The overwhelming need for relief mixing with his ever present desire for control. This is about him asserting his dominance over you, making sure you don’t ever forget where you belong: In the warmth of his burning gaze, under him, on your knees, while he merciless fucks your throat into compliance. He’s taking it out on you, and you fucking love it.
He’s not saying anything, only growling like he’s about to murder someone. He grabs fistfuls of your velvety hair, but never leaves the white knuckle grip on your chains. You can only resist the urge of playing with your pussy while he thrusts so deep you feel his monster cock. hitting the back of your throat. This is about him, and you want to give him this so badly your cunt is throbbing with desire
Tears wet your cheeks, your lips around his cock are the definition of renaissance art to Alastor. He’s almost over the edge now, the head of his cock twitches on top of your tongue as a warning of his approaching orgasm. It’s hard, it’s hot, it’s fast and it’s angry.
Alastor cums, you swallow as much as you can, but he takes his cock out and spills everywhere, coating your hair,  your face. It’s so deliciously erotic Alastor can’t resist catching some of his cum and running his hands throughout your velvet locks, bathing you in his essence, marking you once more. There’s still a bit of cum on the tip of his claw, he feeds it to you, and your lips wrap around his fingers as you take as much of him you can take, gladly. 
“Oh how beautiful you are when you ruin yourself like this for me, my little doe” You look up at him with adoration and a lustful gaze, his eyes hold an equally lustful gaze and… something more. Something that you are sure will drive you insane. 
Alastor notices the pooling mess underneath your tights, he knows how desperate you are for relief, but he still wants to self indulge on you. He’s certain you still don’t understand the reality of what he is feeling. Swiftly he topples you down the corridor’s carpet and places himself between your legs, his crawled finger tearing your lacy panties away. 
Then, he feasts on you like a starving man, and he might be, because you taste like the ambrosia of the gods and he can’t get enough of it. Of how you make a mess of yourself for him and there’s still something for him to take. You just taste so sweet, what a perfect meal your nectar makes. His wicked silver tongue polishes you, aided by your whispered sighs, his name moaned like a prayer on your lips. You are so so close, alastor sucks on your throbbing clit you are already seeing stars, all you need is a gentle push.
 Grinning like a devil, Alastor looks up, tilts his head, gives you the most wicked-and-douchey look in existence. He gets up, your leash dissipating into the air and walks away in perfect composure, like nothing happened. Nothing at all.
“Well, I think that’s my cue!!” he says in his usually chirpy tone. You just stay there, flabbergasted. “I just remembered I still have a lot to do today! Work never stops when you maintain a facility like this in tip-top condition!” Already halfway across the corridor, Alastor’s head turns towards you “Still want to make my day good my dear? Be a doll and clean this mess up, will you?” you just stare at him, too fucking stunned to speak. You can’t believe it. That fucking devil. He’s about to make the turn towards the elevator and disappear when his eyes flash red as he warns you “Oh! and don’t you dare make yourself cum without my permission. If you cum before I say so, you won’t be cumming for a week. Choose wisely!Let’s see who loses control first Ha Ha! This will be fun!”
 Alastor can be a psychopathic demon in heat, but before all that he still is a psychopathic demon who loves torture. 
And he just left you all hot and bothered. 
Alastor knew better than believing in such things as heaven or holiness. In fact, Alastor was positively sure nothing was sacred. The concept of sacredness was non-existent in his book.
But his skeptic mind danced on the edge of belief when he touched you. To be inside you felt heavenly, heavenly in a type of way that should not even be allowed in this place. The way your lush body burned underneath his wicked gaze was sacred.The way you always presented yourself to him, with selfless abandon was sacred. Somehow, someone allowed him, of all people, access to a soul he frankly didn’t understand what was doing in hell in the first place. He never was the better man. He was never giving that up.
In all of his nature, Alastor felt the most sinful pleasure in defiling your sacredness. He wanted nothing but to take the heavenly thing you were and taint it with his darkness. 
He was well acquainted to torture and had no shame in inflicting the most delicious and depraved type of it on you ,until all of your holiness was irrevocably marked by him, down to the core of your soul.  Of course Alastor didn’t buy your soul. He didn’t need to use those means to completely own you. He did it effortlessly, because you craved it. Because he craved it.
That’s why the thought of Vox even looking in your way was heretic, and not in a good way. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to Vox. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. Period. You were his.
 But adding that man into the equation just made everything more intolerable. The things he would do if he found out about you… Found out that not only you were his but how you could make someone feel. How precious and undeserving of anything less than good you were… 
You were made to be cherished and protected. Protected by him.
 In fact, it took all of the Radio Demon’s willpower to restrain from walking to the Vees building, and kill Vox for something he didn’t do. Because Alastor wouldn’t allow the thought to even cross his mind. All that, a messy display of his desperation and loss of control. Giving that prick the smug satisfaction of knowing somehow he got to him, in his last moments. 
Damn, his rut truly did make him on edge.
Suppressing his murderous thoughts, Alastor focused his mind into something he as actually good at: torture. Yours specifically. He still wanted to punish you for making him feel like this. He still wanted to make you understand.
And he just thought of the sweetest way to do it.
-
After cleaning up the mess on the corridor, and yourself (you did it all on autopilot, still trying to understand what the FUCK happened) you still had to give Angel a satisfaction about why you didn’t come back. You must’ve looked really miserable cause Angel just hugged you really tight and ordered you to bed. When in reality all of your efforts were now focused on masking your humiliating arousal. So you find yourself lying in your bed, trying not to think anything Radio Demon related. You’re totally not thinking about the way he looked at you while he fucked you. The way his eyes would search yours in a crowded room, winking playfully at you. An inside joke. A promise.The way you both playfully banter at the dinner table over silly things. You are also totally not thinking about how he takes you, how you love to hear him saying “good girl” to you after you push your limits again, only for him. Not thinking at all about how his cock fills you so perfectly, you truly feel empty without it. Who’s thinking about what hides behind his eyes when he his voice goes all soft in the middle of a rough fucking? Ha ha!! Definitely not you. 
You punch yourself with your pillow. 
C’mon don’t think thoughts of Alastor now…
You are so fucked, and not in a sexy way. The worst part is that you want to endure it, you want to be good for him. Your pussy is aching to be touched, your mind begging you to have thoughts of Alastor while your pussy is being touched. But right now you would give everything in this world to hear him praise you again. You know how hard his rut is on him… He already carries a lot alone, the Hotel, the doomsday clock of extermination ticking closer and closer everyday. Plus the other things… You know there’s something more, something that haunts his nights, but it’s not your place to ask. Hell, you are too scared to ask. You just hope, you just pray that when it happens you are beside him. You don’t ever expect the Radio Demon to ever ask for help, or open up. Or seek comfort. Oh, he’s anything but comfortable. But you like to think that in time, he would feel comfortable enough around you he could let something slip, a tiny detail to add to your “The Mystery of the Radio Demon” clue board. Something that would let you show him he doesn’t need to pick himself apart, carry all these burdens alone.
Great, you are doing amazing at the “not thinking any Alastor thoughts” game. 
You hug your pillow closer and look across you window as you start saying out loud a list of things you need to do around the Hotel. Maybe this will take your mind off the devil.
Tend to the Venus Fly traps of the gardens. (You could ask Nifty for the bugs)
Write the thank you letters to the new guests that agreed to help with hotel chores.
Tell charlie about your book club idea using cool flashcards 
It’s your turn to organize “Theme nights”, maybe Alastor would enjoy a “great gatsby” theme, right?
Great, Alastor again. You sighed. 
Suddenly a red note written with perfect penmanship flies next to your spot on the bed.
“My darling doe, I’m waiting for you in my chambers.
Don’t take your time, we have much to discuss.-
Yours, Alastor.
You take your time, though, to thank anyone who’s listening as you sprint towards Alastor’s lavish room. You feel dizzy, anticipation like butterflies in your stomach. You don’t have to knock more than once for him to let you in. 
He’s on the edge of the bed, looking like his normal self (as normal as it gets for Alastor)
The taps the spot next to him on the the bed
“Come here, you darling thing!”
you don’t waste a second, and as quickly as you are sitting on his bed, you are sitting on lap. Holding you close, in a vice like grip with one of his arms, Alastor starts talking 
“How was the rest of your day, my dear?” you open your mouth to start talking, you have so much to say to him. That you were a good girl, that you were ready to do anything to make up for laughing at Angel’s stupid idea of seducing Vox. You are ready to beg for your release. to ask how his day was. But you don’t get to utter a word. 
Alastor quickly and swiftly maneuvers you: now your feet are dangling from the bed, your ass and  legs sprawled out across his lap. A powerful arm locking you to him by the small of your back.
Holy fuck.
“Well my day was downright awful! You see I overheard my pretty pet laughing at the prospect of seducing one of my most infuriating enemies. I’m in the peak of my unforgiving rut ,and all I wanted was the shared pleasure of our bodies as I fuck the darling thing senseless!” he pinches the back of your thigh, hard. You blur out a soft, desperate sigh. 
“Of course, the good girl she is, she went begging for my forgiveness. I didn’t fully give it, of course. That was a harsh offense, what my little doe did. But I did have my fill with her” You try to spea-
Alastor audibly shushes you.
“I did leave her all hot and bothered after spilling my cum all over her maddening little body, of course. I contenplated murdering the bastard demon so he wouldn’t get a chance of even knowing about her existence and what she does to me. But I still suffered with the hellish need of fucking her into oblivion, and pondered a lot about divine justice. So, if I had to suffer this entire day because of her offenses I think it’s only right for that darling doe to get her fill of suffering and punishment hmmmm?
 You try to look back to his face, but you feel the familiar sensation of magic wrapping around your throat. The leash, you are so so fucked. You couldn’t be happier about it.
He tugs at the chain, so your skirt rides up and your ass is totally bare for him and your head is buried in one of his fluffy pillows. With a snap of his fingers your panties disintegrate.
You shiver at the thought of what’s happening next, a delicious sensation that flows across your back and ends up inside your cunt, beginning to turn into a wet mess. He’s gonna spank you like the bad girl you were. He’s not going to be gentle about it either. You can’t wait. It’s gonna hurt, it’s gonna sting, it will leave you bruised. It will be deliciously wicked, like all of Alastor’s punishments. 
You feel another surge of magic, behind the powerful green glow something materializes.
Your horsegirl days back on earth don’t let you down. You recognise it instantly. On his previous free hand he’s holding a riding crop. A big, leather pointed riding crop. 
He’s going to literally whip you into submission. You squirm inside his arm. You can’t fucking wait. You’ve made yourself come a few times after the thought of being literally tamed, broke by alastor. 
You whimper. Alastor’s laugh fills the room.
“So this is how this is going to go, pet. I’m going to whip you lovely ass like the ungrateful slut you are and you are going to thank me for it after every crack of the whip. I’m gonna do this as many times as I see fit. Until your ass is as red as my hair. Until you understand what you did. By the time I’m done you will be begging to be punished more. Are we clear?
You can’t look back at him, but you can feel how his red irises make your skin burn. You like to imagine that his eyes did the thing where they soften for a heartbeat, if you blink you miss it. Waiting for your permission, even now. You are able to muffle a “yes, oh please Alastor, yes”. 
“Lovely.” 
crack.
He didn’t even gave you time to process. The whip lands hard on the back of your left thigh. You let out a scream.
“Well?” he asks impatiently as he waits for your “thank you”. Seeing the way the spot where the whip landed turn a lovely shade of scarlet isn’t helping him hold his resolve either.
You wanna do this right, you need this as much as he needs it.
“thank-”
crack. the whip lands on your right thigh, a little lower.
“tha-” 
crack.crack.
 He whips you even harder, cutting the wind as it lands twice on your left buttcheek. Only four cracks down and you are a whimpering mess. You wiggle instinctively on his lap, seeking some friction, some relief. It hurts so bad, but it feels so good. You don’t know if you can take more. You want it anyway. “thank you, thank you” you whimper. Tears wet your face, arousal wets your core adding to the mess from before he even started.
crack. crack.
 He mirrors his movements to your right buttcheek. “thank yo- Holy fuck Alastor”
one more hit, now hitting both of your buttcheks. 
“I’ve told you many times before pet, there’s nothing holy about what I do to you. I’m gonna break you and then breed you. I won’t give you a moment of respite. And maybe by the end, when your legs are shaking from holding that orgasm you have been desperately chasing since this afternoon, I will be merciful and let you find your release. And we will know who’s really losing control here”
How can he do this to you with only his voice? You are not sure you’ve ever been so aroused in your entire life. You’re so wet, you’re staining Alastor’s pants. As close as you will get to marking him.
There’s a draft coming from the forest of his room, it softly kisses your abused skin, making it sting. You want to see the state of your lower body so badly. The way you’re submitting to him right now, the most sweet form degradation possible. Your eyes are clouded with tears, that line between pain and pleasure being blurred in ways only someone like the Radio Demon could cross. He tugs on your leash, to attract your attention from the sinful, unholy sensations you are feeling so openly, back to him.
Alastor drags the leather point of the whip across your throbbing cunt, collecting the obscene amount of wetness there. “By the 7 rings of hell, what do you have here? Are you such a slut that you are creaming at being whipped into compliance? I could do this all night long. Your ass is already red with regret for your actions but I’m not sure you learned your lesson yet.”
crack. The whip this time lands on your juicy cunt. Your hips trash with the sensation, your demon lover’s name escaping your lips like a prayer.You forget to thank him this time, despite your best efforts. 
“Are you so big of an ungrateful brat that you want this sinful punishment to continue? Not even bothering to thank me, in hopes it will end sooner. You know what you are. Nothing but a hungry greedy whore for the Radio Demon” 
crack, crack. One hit on each cheek. “But I already knew that” and with that mocking tone Alastor lands a  masterful final hit on both of your cheeks. He does have a way of proving his point.
You are fucking sobbing now. Tears coat your cheeks, now a colour so vibrant as the rich scarlet the covers your ass. Alastor knows everything that makes you tick. He knows how close you are to cumming. Cumming for only his masterfully inflicted punishment and his voice. Incoherent whimpers leave your lips “please please please” and soft “ohh and aaah, alastor”
He tugs on your leash again, he knows your body like the palm of his hand, and that you are probably entering the mind numbing phase of the pain and the pleasure. But he still wants your undivided attention. He has whipped you into submission, he still needs to fuck you into submission. 
“And you even made the mess of yourself stain my pants! My god, you are pathetic. Delightfully pathetic” 
Alastor gently runs his clawed hands across your ass, the sharp edges making you hiss. He looks in adoration at the masterpiece he inflicted on you. Your ass and thighs a shade of scarlet to rival his hair, the wetness between your thighs a heavenly invitation. Beautiful. Sinful.  Sacred. He will never forget this, and he will make sure that you never forget it too.
“Now, now, we are done with this my little doe” his voice goes extra soft because you can’t see him with your face buried in a soft pillow. “you were so good for me, you always are” 
The softness and sweetness of his praise makes you sob even harder. It’s maddening. 
He gently maneuvers you further into the bed, making space for himself. 
“But now I’m painfully hard, and I still need to bury myself inside that tight throbbing cunt of yours, so deep it will mark. your. soul.” static picks up around you, a delicious omen of what is about to happen. 
Alastor positions himself behind you, immediately entering you and bottoming out. 
His first thrusts are sharp and deep, as to make his promise of marking yourself from the inside real. He pulls your chains so your scarlet ass is presenting itself to him like the most sinful gift. 
Alastor picks up that breakneck pace of fucking, common to him, specially during his rut. He fucks you like he hates you. As hard as he possibly can, to make you know that you are his and his only. That even thinking of someone else, even as a joke, will not be tolerated. You wanted all of him didn’t you? You’ve made that clear, with words, with actions, with the things your body endures for him. So he makes sure to give you that. 
Moans drip from your lips in a crescendo, you are screaming now, you don’t know how long you will last. It feels so good. That delayed gratification drowning you in maddening pleasure. 
“Who do you think is losing control here?” he asks after a painfully sharp thrust. “Me, or the mess of a slut underneath me? That is screaming my name loud enough for the entire pride ring to know how she loves being fucked like a common whore for the Radio Demon,hmm?” 
One hand pulls your leash upwards, the other your hips. He’s even deeper now, you can feel him in your core.
You don’t reply to the question even though you want to, even though you know the answer. 
“Again, since you like being bred like that so much you are not hearing me” he takes all of his cock out and enters you at once. “Who’s losing control here? Me, or my little plaything with the scarlet ass from being whipped into compliance like the pretty little brat she is?” 
You don’t forget to answer him now, you need to cum, desperately. You withheld your building orgasm  for an entire day, you wanted to be good for Alastor. You wanted to be able to take everything he gives you. The pleasure, the pain, the sinful, delicious depraved torture. “Me, I am!” you scream out. 
Alastor’s pace is becoming erratic, you feel the shadows of his growing antlers cover you.
“Again” he tugs at your collars. Another sharp, deep thrust. 
“Me, i’m losing control” 
“And what are you?” his voice is filled with static now, he’s close too.
“Yours! I’m yours Alastor, yours to fuck, to break, to punish” you cry out in sweet pain and pleasure. 
Another tug, Another painfully sharp thrust 
“I’m only yours Alastor” you finish. 
“Good. girl.” he spaces the words out between thrusts, knowing how you relish in them. 
“You can come now” 
Your orgasm comes crashing down. You grip the sheets like a maniac, your legs shaking so hard Alastor needs to hold them in place. You scream so loud you are sure they can hear you in heaven. You hope they can, so they know. So they know this man owns you. So they know you love him. 
Alastor is not far behind, your cunt tightening around him like a vice. He fucks you specially hard and deep know, delayed gratification hitting all at once. He cums so hard inside you, he’s sure he finally marked your soul. The feeling of his cock twitching and spilling inside you, adding to the indescriptible sensation. You are completely over the edge now, you feel weightless, free falling. 
You know Alastor will catch you.
“Ah! There she is” you open your eyes and feel a soft kiss on your cheek. You are lying on top of Alastor’s chest, he cuddles you gently, making lazy circles on your hipbone but still buried to the hilt inside you. He still plans to give you all of his cum, all he has during his rut,after all. 
“woah, that was… amazing” you say after a while.
“Well, I did whip and fuck you to the brink of insanity my dear. And you came so beautifully for me, you passed out. You’re such a sight pet. I will never forget it.” you blush at his words. You feel so happy. 
Alastor kisses your cheek again, and with a final thrust he leaves you with a obscenely wet noise. You are dripping with his cum, it’s running down your thighs, staining the sheets. 
You whimper in complaint. 
“Ah ,don’t be like that” he laughs, is a genuinely happy laugh. “There’s still plenty of where that came from, but I need my darling doe to rest first” he says. He’s lying you gently on the bed as he gets up. “Don’t leave” you whisper. 
He’s out of the bed anyways, and seems to be on his way to do something. You don’t care, you want him back here, holding you. You don't want him to ever let you go.
“Al, i’m truly sorry about today. You know that, right?” You know that I love you, right?  You want to say, but you are scared that confession is a little much for today. You see where he’s headed now. He opens the bathroom door.
“Don’t even think about it, my dear. It’s all water under the bridge” he says in his usual chirpy tone, louder than the noise of the bath running. “Now you just need to promise me that you will never even let the thought of that pathetic demon cross your mind, my love”
my love.
“And if he ever does, you will let me know. So I can fuck those wretched ideas out of your mind” Alastor is walking back to the bed now. He picks you up bridal style and carries you across the room. You can’t help the hiss that escape your lips as your irritated skin touches him. “I know, I know my dear. We will fix that right up. I can’t have my favourite doe hurting. We still have a long way to go until the end of my rut, dearest” you don’t reply, you are just happy. perfectly happy. You could hear Alastor’s voice for days without complaining. “But you did look so perfect with that scarlet ass on my lap. Crying from how much you love what I do to you. I hope you never forget that” 
You both reach the bathtub, he drops you with all the care in the world inside the water.
“I’m so proud of you. I truly am” the water is warm. The soap smells so nice. He lit candles too. You give in to the soothing sensations. You might have tuned out for a bit, cause you hear alastor calling your name so softly… He says it again, slow, soft, gentle, pleading. As to catch your attention, he has something important to say. “You know how precious you are to me, don’t you my little doe?” “yes” you respond, trying to fight the tears that begin to spill down your face ‘
“Oh my darling girl, why are you crying? There’s nothing to cry about. You are here, safe with me. As you will always be, as is your place.”
“Alastor I-I-” your heart swells, you want to say something. You want to say everything you are feeling. How consuming, in the best way possible, your feelings are for him.
But Alastor is always 10 steps ahead. 
“I know, I know darling” he kisses your hand “I feel it too.” he says. It feels like a confession, it sounds like a confession. The look on his eyes is the one of that mystery that hides there every time his voice in the midst of your passion. 
When you,know you know. your mind reiterates. 
“Let me help you dry those tears. Save them for another day” He holds your face and kiss your lips. “The only thing you need to worry about right now is resting and recovering that luscious body of yours, as well as your brilliant, witty mind”
He hands you a sparkly fancy pink soap, and gets up to find the softest sponge he has stored. 
“Now, I hope you like the smell of these candles, cause I’m not letting you out of my sight for at least the next four days!” 
Alastor continues to chat away sweet nothings as he helps you bathe. Maybe it will take a while for the Radio Demon to say those 4 words out loud. He has enough reason for that, inside that beautiful, complicated mind of his. His actions always speak louder than words, your relationship was proof of that. 
Until then, you will always have sacred moments in crowded rooms, you will always have jokes that only the both of you understand. He will always keep sweeping you off your feet in the most deliciously wicked ways possible. 
Right now, you have him by your side after everything that happened, you have his heart too. You are sure of that. So you don’t mind waiting for him.
Good things come for those who wait.
488 notes · View notes
selkies-world · 6 months
Text
Language resources
(Duolingo alternatives)
For those who no longer use or trust Duolingo, I've put together a list of resources - apps, learning methods, programmes, etc - with a list of whether or not they are free, and my personal experience with their success at teaching a language. I have also included new ones that I haven't tried yet but which I have researched; for these, I have included a rating of how much hope I have for them panning out in the future.
[I grew up bilingual & went to a multicultural school that had a student body consisting of children from refugee families who spoke little to no English. The school prioritised teaching the entire student body the minority languages, and finding a bridge language we could all learn together to fill in any gaps in communication. Due to this, I spent the last 4 years of primary school learning new languages with the rest of the student body.
We would have a school-wide lesson for 1 hour once a week - usually with a child or staff member fluent in that language leading the lesson at the front of the gym with a microphone so we could hear the correct pronunciation in time with reading the native spelling & English phonetics on the projector screen at the front of the hall. We were expected to use this language in the corridors when we spoke with teachers or staff members and when we passed by other students regardless of what their or our native languages were. As far as fluency went, we were expected to be able to recognise and say greetings and goodbyes, enquire to each others well-being, know how to ask for assistance, how to ask for medical help for various things, how to ask where the bathroom was, to give and receive directions around the entire school, as well as colours, names of things found around the school, make small talk about our activities of the day and our family, and why we were out of class - all with relative ease & mutual understanding.
We changed language after every break, so it was roughly 8 hours of lessons in each language, before we would start again with a new one.
Alongside this, the older students in the school (final 3 years, aged 9 - 11/12) would learn French 3+ hours a week for those 3 years so their writing, reading and speaking standards were acceptable for the beginning of high school. In 1 of these years, we also studied both of our native languages for the first time, for 6 weeks each.
I left traditional schooling at 11, and while I was home-schooled I taught myself Italian, Russian, and Latin from scratch, along with relearning my preferred native language, and 2 forms of sign - I used Makaton as a young child and in school as I have a form of mutism, but as a teen I realised I associated this language with the severe trauma I experienced at school, and so suffered from flashbacks and dissociative episodes when I used it. This, along with medical concerns, led to me learning BSL, and then SSE. Today, I use a combination of English, SSE and my native language in everyday settings. I have a mental block for learning French due to it being heavily associated with my trauma.
I am saying all this not for sympathy, but so that you can see firstly how much I enjoy and value learning languages, and in order to show my experience levels with learning languages. I've used, tried, and tested all of the learning methods I will be talking about in this post. I have either used or done a lot of research into the apps and programmes discussed in this post.
And yes, I have prioritised ones that teach endangered languages, indigenous languages and languages that aren't often included in language media such as Hebrew, various forms of Arabic, Navajo, Gaelic, and others. I have also included ones that teach and / or document sign languages and sign communication systems.]
Please note that the following lists are arranged in no particular order. They are not ranked best to worst or by any other X to Y ratio. They are simply ranked according to how I remembered, tested, or found each of them.
Apps
1: Fluyo.
Rating for hope / faith: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: n/a
Cost: unknown
Status: not yet publicly available
Please note that while Fluyo is not yet available, its Kickstarter page is flourishing, its app is in development, and the developer is a man of colour who has continued to devote himself to this app and its development despite rising health concerns, developing a life-changing disabling condition, and numerous set-backs. His YouTube channel is very educational, and he has also written a book on language-learning. If you would like to know more, you can learn about him here. Fluyo is set up like a computer game with multiple cute characters who are interactive rather than stationary, and I genuinely have high hopes for it once it is released.
2: Babble
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial for the first lesson, but a paid subscription is required for any further lessons
Status: available to download
3: Language Drops
Personal experience: ☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free for some lessons, but a paid account is required for access to all lessons
Status: available to download
4: Fluent forever
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free access to basic lessons to build your confidence with the language, but a paid subscription is required for unlimited access
Status: available to download
5: Lingopie
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial for 7 days, but a paid subscription is required after that for continued use of the app
Status: available to download
6: Fluenday
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
7: Language flower
Hope for: ☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆
Cost: free, as far as I can tell
Status: available to download
8: Sign BSL / Daniel Mitchell
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
Please note that Daniel Mitchel offers a BSL version of this, along with an ASL version.
9: Bright BSL / sign lab
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness:☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for some lessons + premium for all other lessons
Status: available to download
Please note that Sign Lab offers this app for the following sign languages: BSL (Bright BSL), ASL (ASL Bloom), LSF (Pause LSF / Langue des Signes, yoDGS, Libras (LibrasLab), Italian Sign Language (MeLISegno), and Toleio: Norsk Tegnspråk.
10: BSL zone
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
11: Reverso context
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
This is less for learning a language, more for quick reference / fact-checking a translation.
12: Pimsleur
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free 7 day trial, but a paid subscription is required for continued use
Status: available to download
13: Memrise
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for introductory levels, with a premium option to unlock majority of lessons
Status: available to download
14: Busluu
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: Free, with a premium option to download lessons, more repetition, and extra lessons
Status: available to download
15: Hello Talk
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
16: Rosetta Stone
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: monthly subscription is required
Status: available to download
17: Lingo Deer
Personal experience: ☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option for all lessons beyond Basics 1
Status: available to download
18: Beelinguapp
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, but a subscription is required for total access
Status: available to download
19: Lingvist
Personal experience: ☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆ (though it does have an option to suggest other languages for them to add, and which language you would like to learn from, and they'll email you when / if that language becomes available)
Effectiveness: unknown
Cost: free
Status: available to download
[Please note this one is not photosensitive friendly or seizure friendly. I had to close the app as soon as I opened it due to the design on their opening page, and even when I reopened it and clicked straight through, their colour scheme was still upsetting to my senses.]
20: Lingvano
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for a few lessons, but for access to all lessons, a paid subscription is required
Status: available to download
21: Duocards
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, but a more advanced version is available for premium accounts
Status: available to download
22: Chatterbug
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free with limited access, but a paid version is available
Status: available to download
23: Mango languages learning
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, with a premium account required for further access
Status: available to download
24: EdX
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost:
Status: available to download
Please note that EdX is an app which houses courses on multiple subjects, not specifically a language-learning app.
25: Mondly Languages
Personal experience: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free, though it does repeatedly offer you a subscription account for an experience catered to you and your interests
Status: available to download
Please note this one may be triggering to those who are photosensitive or whose senses are upset by rapid moving gifs. There is a crown in the top right-hand corner which vibrates very quickly.
26: Speakly
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free trial, with a subscription account required for further use
Status: available to download
27: Pocket sign
Hope for: ☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, as far as I can tell
Status: available to download
28: Lingo legend language learning
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, though I think there may be a premium option either available but unmentioned, or in the works
Status: available to download
Please note that this app offers you the chance to vote for which languages should be added to its interface, so they can prioritise which ones to fund.
29: INC sign language app
Hope for: ☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to download
For those with religious trauma, please note that INC stands for Iglesia Ni Cristo, and the INC Sign Language App "is a project of the Christian Society for the Deaf under the Christian Family Organizations Office of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)". While it does not appear to prioritise religious content, the content does feature people dressed in suits as if for attending a church sermon.
30: My signing time
Hope for: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: 14 day free trial, and a subscription is required after this point
Status: available to download
Please note that this one is aimed at babies / toddlers & families.
32: Falou
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option if you want to learn more than 1 language & unlock additional courses in your chosen language
Status: available to download
33: Earworms
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free for the demo, then after that, the lessons are broken into two "volumes" to buy individually, or 1 bonus-pack which contains both to buy once at a slightly reduced cost.
Status: available to download
Please note that Earworms used to be available as CD lessons, which is when I first used them. The CDs were in Volumes and were more expensive than all costs on this app. I used them 10 years ago and still remember what I learned despite not getting to use the language very often, so I can guarantee their method is very effective.
34: Qlango
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, with a premium option for the final 3 levels
Status: available to download
Please note that this one is laid out more like a semi-immersive lesson plan rather than a game. However, it is currently my favourite one.
Other resources
1: Signing hands (YouTube)
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆
Cost: free
Status: available to watch
2: Military style
Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆
Cost: n/a
Status: available to begin for free, though it will be difficult for you to find an environment that allows you to experience this authentically. If you would like to learn more about what the military style is, I will speak about it further below.
3: Textbooks / Reading materials
Personal experience: ☆���☆☆
Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆
Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆
Cost: free, or otherwise up to you (what you are willing / able to spend on it)
Status: available to start whenever you feel like it
You can find numerous language-learning resources listed at the end of this post. I also recommend buying an up-to-date dictionary and thesaurus in your chosen language, and studying it. Study the grammar noted in the front, and then actually read the dictionary. It will seem strange, but it will benefit you in the long-run. Make notes as you go, highlight and colour some things in as you see fit.
Learning methods
1: Immersion
Over and over again, we are told that immersion is the best, most effective way to learn a language. This is because this is how we often think children learn languages - and we're partly right about that.
Immersion is the process of immersing yourself in the chosen language, with one single choice: learn the language, or suffer.
If our brains have to choose between struggling to pronounce a few words while gesturing to something we want and clinging onto sounds we hear like trying to hold onto a wet otter, or not getting what we want, we're going to choose to sound & look like an idiot, pointing and saying basic sounds, even if trying to remember the reply is like trying to remember Pi.
With enough time, though, we pick the language up remarkably well when we have no choice but to pick it up. This is the method which has us mimicking accents and gestures and expressions in order to best gain what we want: to express ourselves, our needs and our desires.
However, immersion is often critiqued because unless you have the means to fly to the country that speaks your desired language and live there with 0 influence from your native language for 6+ months... Well, you're not fully immersed, are you? Language apps try to give you an immersive experience, but you can always put your phone down. Depending on where you were educated, you may have had an immersive language class, where you had to learn the language or not be able to join in and so failed by default.
Good ways to mimic immersion are: finding radio channels in your chosen language and watching TV shows in your chosen language without subtitles, and listening to music in your chosen language.
2: Flashcards
Flashcards often tend to be a popular way to test your memory and retention of a particular subject. However, using them to begin learning a language can lead to a loss of motivation.
If you are creating the flashcards yourself, I would recommend creating them in 2 sets: 1 which is the traditional flashcard (your first language OR a picture on one side, and the translation on the other side), and 1 which has twice as many, with only 1 side being used. This second set should be designed like playing cards - the word or picture on one side, and a plain back.
This second set can be used when you're wanting to boost your motivation or confidence - arrange the cards face down, and begin playing the children's game of Pairs. Another option would be Snap.
When you return to using the traditional flashcards, you'll have a better foundation to build on if you've taught yourself to see these as fun, and taught your brain to associate these cards with quickfire responses - such as are brought to the surface during childrens' cards games.
3: Stickers
This is a method which seems obvious once it's pointed out, but seems confusing if you've never done it before.
Simply put, using stickers is when you create or buy stickers with the translation of everyday objects, words and phrases in your chosen language, and put them up around your house. "Door" goes on the door. "Cupboard" goes on the outside of a cupboard, "bread" goes on the inside. "Fridge" goes on the fridge door. "Milk" goes behind the milk so you see it every time you pick the milk up. "Lightswitch" goes above / under the lightswitch. Etc etc etc.
This is a memory retention technique used for multiple scenarios. Nurseries and schools may sometimes have the Makaton sign for something shown in a large diagram stuck to the walls / surfaces. Carehomes may have the names & purposes of objects stuck to the surfaces / objects in the dominant language, for the residents with memory issues or communication barriers.
While this is a good technique for quickfire memory boosts, it can be a slow way to learn a language from scraps, and is better suited for when you are semi-familiar with the written form of the language you are learning. It is also a good way to get everyone involved, as everyone in the home will be interacting with the stickers.
4: Forced conversation
This one is controversial, but can be very effective if it is approached with an open mind, clear communication and previously-agreed upon rules and lines.
The method of forced conversation is exactly what it sounds like: it is when you are engaged in a conversation in your target language, in which the person whom you are conversing with refuses to speak your original language. However, no matter how poor your language skills are, or how uncomfortable you get, they do not stop the conversation, and you do not let to leave the situation until they are satisfied you have communicated well enough, and have understood them. This will usually be "proven" by them giving you instructions, asking a specific question, or requesting you do something for them - if you follow the action through, you have understood them, if you try to give a vague answer and do not do the task, you have not understood them, and the interaction is forced to continue. Again.
This method is controversial because it is not immediately inclusive or welcoming for those who are shy, have anxiety, any form of Mutism, or who have a neurodiversiry or learning disability which impacts their communication. In formal situations, it is often these people who fall behind or get put off from learning a language if forced conversations are the only method they have the option of.
However, if there are adaptions made and accommodation previously discussed and provided, this can still be a viable method which is inclusive to all.
If the person speaking your target language is previously informed of your communication issues or complications, and are instructed in how to accommodate you (ie: Do they need to point at something, or use picture cards as prompts? Do you prefer using picture cards? Do you get distracted if they use hand gestures? Do you need fidget toys provided? Will it be easier for you if you are not forced to maintain eye contact? Will it be better for you if one or both of you are moving around rather than sitting down directly across from each other? Do the lights need to be altered in your environment to make the sensory experience less overwhelming? Do you use noise cancelling headphones? Do you focus better if there is music on in the background? Are there certain tones of voice or volume levels that need to be avoided? Does constantly changing body language stress you out? Do you have a stutter or speech impediment that may impact your pronunciation? Etc.)
Accomodaring these issues, and coming up with a signal to take a break (ie, if you have issues telling the difference between "I am angry at you personally" and "I am tired today" in vocal tones and facial expressions, will you get upset if you think the person is angry at you for not knowing their language? If so, do you need a signal to take a break so you can clearly communicate your stress, and they can give you an answer in your original language and clarify anything which is upsetting or confusing you, before continuing the conversation in your target language?) or to speak in simpler terms? Is their one subject you can talk about particularly well (a hyperfixation) which they can use in the conversation to help you engage?
All of these accommodations may seem intimidating, but if all those involved are aware of these accommodations going into the conversation, it can make the interaction much more positive and productive.
Forced conversation uses the same logic as immersion: if your brain has to choose between looking / sounding like an idiot who stumbles over words, or a very uncomfortable situation which lasts longer each time you make a mistake, your brain will choose to look like an idiot in order to achieve what it wants.
5: Repetition
Repetition is a very common method of learning a language, though it is often criticised for being ineffective.
It is when a phrase or word is said by one party, and repeated by another. If the second party does not pronounce it correctly, the first party repeats it again. This continues until the second party gets it correct. Then the pattern is repeated with another phrase / word. Once a certain number of words have been said correctly by the second party, the first party will return to the start and repeat the process again, with the second party having to say the phrases / words correctly multiple times before being able to move onto the next. The entire process continues in this loop until the second party is saying things correctly with ease.
This method is part of what makes up both immersion, flashcards and military style methods for language learning. It can also be used with textbook learning.
However, it is often critiqued because once the second party is away from the first party and left to their own devices, their confidence in their previous pronunciation will falter, and when they return to the lesson or need to use the language again, they'll be at a lower level of achievement than they were when they left. It is also very tedious, and can become boring.
6: Music
When I spoke about immersion, I briefly mentioned music. I also said that we assume children learn language via immersion. However, as adults we often overlook something else which plays a crucial role in teaching children language: music.
Children learn language, rhythm, speech patterns, and turn-of-phrase via songs, rhymes, riddles, fables, tongue-twisters, and music.
This is why it can be priceless to learn songs in your chosen language. Lullabies. Nursery rhymes. Children's songs. Pop songs that are ridiculed as being too simple or written without talent. Theme tunes from children's shows. Traditional rhymes and tongue-twisters. Most of these can be found via a long time on YouTube.
Music works in a unique way, worming its way into our minds. Our brains are hardwired to recognise and remember patterns - and music is made up of patterns. This is why we get songs stuck in our heads for no reason. Being able to use this to your advantage to learn or remember a new language can be an amazing experience.
7: Subtitles and language swap
This is a method which can be useful when you are learning more than one language, but are more familiar with one than the other.
It is where you watch / listen to a certain media in 1 language, while reading the subtitles / lyrics in another language. This way, the language you are more familiar with / fluent in will fill the gaps of understanding the less familiar one.
You can then challenge yourself by removing one language (muting the media & only reading the subtitles, or removing the subtitles and only listening to the provided audio) and seeing how well you follow along / understand.
This can also be used with your target language and your original language.
8: Writing it down
This is another form of repetitive learning which can be useful when studying / retaining for an exam, but can also be useful when you are first learning the written-to-verbal patterns of a language.
One method is longterm recall: this is where you write down short notes, words & phrases in your target language 1+ hour after engaging with your learning resources. This tests how much you retained. It is a physical show of how much you have actually learned.
Another method is short term recall & build-up: this is where you choose a single word / phrase, and write it as lines (Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are-) until your page is full. Then go back to the start and write over the top of your own writing, staying as close to your original marks as possible. Repeating this pattern multiple times until your page rips or the words become close to unreadable tricks your brain into focusing morenon your handwriting than on the language - as such, you will start to see the phrase / word as a pattern to follow, and it is then left to your subconscious mind to retain it while your conscious mind prioritises hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.
9: Textbook
If you're more academically inclined, you may prefer a textbook method of study. This is the style used in most night classes and / or some traditional education classes.
Textbook methods have everything arranged by date and time, and learning goals are broken down & laid out according to a set calender: by x, you will have learned this amount, by y, you will have learned this amount, so on so forty until the final set date when you will be "fluent" or a certain level of reasonably fluent.
Most of the time with this method, you will be following guidelines, activities and lesson plans previously arranged in a chosen textbook, and that textbook will be your sole or primary resource.
10: Bilingual books (page by page)
Using page-by-page bilingual books can be confusing and is often overlooked in regards to adult education - however, it can be somewhat interesting to try.
On one page, the text will be written in your original language - on the opposite page, the same text will be repeated in your target language. Seeing the two side-by-side allows you to read your target language and instantly refer back to your original language if you get stuck on a word or phrase.
There is another form of bilingual books often given to children: line-by-line. These feature the image / picture, with the original text written clearly and simply, usually no more than 1 or 2 sentences per page. Directly underneath them will be the translated text written in a different font.
11: Same story / movie, different language
While this can be a fun method, it isn't always the most beneficial if you're looking for accuracy - however, it can be useful if you're wanting to test yourself.
It uses a similar logic to the subtitles & language swap method: you put on a movie you are familiar with, but you put it on in your target language with 0 subtitles. This allows you to engage with the language while using the familiar movie / story as a bridge.
12: Military Style
This is perhaps the most effective technique to use of you have a set amount of time to reach a specified level of understanding / fluency in a language. However, it is also one of the most difficult to fully replicate yourself.
Military style is a form of forced immersion combined with forced conversation and repetitive loops, but with reward and punishment techniques to make you prioritise learning the language over your own comfort zone / personal boundaries.
An example of this style would be party 1 having party 2 engage in forced conversation in front of an audience, then having them repeat a phrase they got wrong over and over until they get it right - all in front of the audience, with a rule set which forbids party 2 from sitting down or disengaging the interaction until they have finished the task. Nobody in the audience is allowed to help party 2. Party 1 continues to push party 2 outside of their comfort zone by having them continue the conversation, repeating any mistakes until they are corrected, and the conversation does not end until it is completed.
After that, party 2 has to do 100 push-ups while repeating the phrase they got wrong the most - and they have to pronounce it correctly while doing the push-ups. Any mistakes, and they go back to 1, regardless of if they were at 7 or 98.
This combined punishment of mild public humiliation and physically pushing their body beyond its limits makes the brain see learning the language as the solution to ending this treatment - as such, party 2 will be far less likely to repeat those mistakes again.
Alongside this, there is forced immersion, in the sense that nobody is allowed to speak their original language in any context or to anyone - they must use the target language or be ignored at best or ridiculed at worst.
Understandably, this method is difficult to replicate on your own or outside of the army.
However, there are some tokens which can be taken from it: notably forced repetition & physical exercise.
Set yourself a challenge using any of the previously mentioned learning methods or apps. Keep note of your mistakes.
At the end of the challenge (say 30 minutes of learning) count up all your mistakes. Now do a push-up / squat / pull-up / sit-up / etc for each mistake you made while repeating the phrase out loud. If you stall too long on making a connection in your mind or stumble over the sounds, start counting from 1 again. Repeat this until you're continuously getting the mistakes correct.
At the end, go back to your lesson and repeat it. Did you get less mistakes?
Thoughts & considerations when it comes to learning a language - for language savants and novices alike
"If you don't use it, you lose it" is probably one of the most hated phrases in terms of learning anything new - and especially in terms of learning a language. I think a better expression would be "If you don't make room for it, you won't keep it".
If you don't make time to learn a language, you won't learn it.
If you don't challenge yourself to reach a certain standard, you won't achieve any standard.
If you don't make the effort to retain the new information, you'll forget it.
When you learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind. You have to be willing to make mistakes and continue, knowing you're not doing it perfectly. You have to be willing to make it a priority, even if nobody else in your life sees it as one. You have to be willing to be frustrated and tired and bored. You have to be willing to get every single thing wrong and try again. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable with the new sounds you're making and you have to be willing to be patient while your brain digs out a new burrow of tunnels and connections which didn't previously exist.
If you genuinely want to learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind and life. Even when sometimes it's a tight fit.
Resources, as promised
Reading, writing & textbook materials:
Book 1
Book 2
Book 3
Book 4
Book 5
Structured notebook 1
Structured notebook 2
Structured notebook 3
Something worth checking out 1
Other things to invest in:
A dictionary in your target language
Picture cards
Flashcards
Stickers
Books in your target language
Children's books in your target language
Nursery rhyme books in your target language
Magazine subscriptions in your target language on a topic you find fascinating
Newspapers in your target language
Poetry in your target language
1 paid language learning app - a lot of the time, you get what you pay for. Not always, but usually.
Notebooks, stationary, etc
Headphones / earplugs
Media in your target language
527 notes · View notes
lnfours · 7 months
Text
tolerate it | l.n
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summary: if it’s all in my head, tell me now. tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow.
warnings: happy folklore/evermore season :) angst, language, fears of your partner falling out of love with you, slight anxiety and overthinking, fluffy ending bc i can’t make them stay mad at each other. kinda wanna do an evermore/folklore mini series, let me know if you guys would be interested <3
masterlist | listen
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
the colder weather meant the sun was starting to set earlier, and it was evident as you gazed out the window, sitting at the dining room table. the candle you had lit an hour or so ago flickering softly, illuminating the room with a soft glow as the gloomy sky hovered above.
you sighed to yourself, taking another sip from the wine glass that sat next to your plate. you tapped on your phone screen, lighting up and displaying the time and the picture you had set as your lock screen. the 5:30 hovering tauntingly above the picture of you and lando from a few months back, your smile wide and trying to hide it in his shoulder as he held his camera to the mirror. he was sporting a smile also, you could almost hear your shared giggles through the photo.
he was supposed to be home an hour ago, and nights like this were happening more often. he’d always be an hour to an hour and a half late getting home. it was always an apology, saying ‘training ran late’ or the quadrant shoot ‘ran on longer than it was supposed to’, you’d see him for fifteen minutes while the two of you ate dinner, and then he’d go off to the office until he decides to join you in bed later in the night.
at first, you didn’t complain, knowing he was a man with a busy schedule, but after almost two months of this same song and dance, your anxiety was getting the best of you.
what if he was out with someone else? what if he was slowly losing interest in you? what if he just tolerates you?
the sound of the door closing pulled you from your thoughts, snapping your head up as you heard footsteps enter the room. he placed his keys, wallet and phone on the counter, frowning softly.
“sorry i’m late,” here we go again, “i told max i needed to be home by 4 and he insisted we played another round before i left.”
you nodded, taking another sip from the glass on your right, “‘s fine.”
he watched you swallow thickly, tilting your head to look back out the window. he noticed the way your hand tapped against your arm softly, his eyes moving to the plates set on the table. your grandmother’s china.
his heart dropped when he thought back to your conversation the other night, him saying the two of you would have a proper sit down meal tonight since he felt bad for running late lately.
and he just fucked it all up even more.
“you don’t have to lie,” he said, making you advert your attention back to him, “i know you know it’s not fine.”
you shook your head, “what’s it matter to you, anyway?”
he knew he deserved the digs and jabs you were sending his way, “seriously, lando, if you’re not interested in me anymore just say it instead of making me play this stupid game.”
the silence that fell between the two of you after was the final blow. he watched your cheeks glisten in the soft candle light, and fuck, he hated seeing you cry. especially when it was because of him.
he didn’t know what to say as your chair scraped the floor, getting up from your spot at the table and picking up your plate. the food untouched as you grabbed the saran wrap from the pantry.
he heard your quiet sniffle, “i’m so sorry, y/n-“
“then where have you been the past two months?” he blinked back at you before you continued, “every single day it’s the same, overused excuse. so, what is it really, lando? enlighten me.”
he swallowed because he didn’t have answer that didn’t sound like he was making an excuse. he really had been busy with work, but he knew he could’ve done better with planning to make more time for you and him.
you knew he loved you with every fiber of his being, but you were upset. you were angry and sad and all you wanted was for him to come home and spend time together like the two of you used to do. but it was like it was too much to ask for.
of course you knew what you were signing up for when he took you on your very first date, but you didn’t know it would mean being put on the back burner, begging to be let in on the things going on his life.
his silence made you nod, “right,”
he reached out to you slowly, not sure how you would react. you bit down on your bottom lip, the dam breaking now as he stepped towards you.
“y/n,” he said your name softly, understanding that your lash-outs were because of men who had hurt you in the past, knowing too well what it felt like when anxiety and over thinking takes over. he couldn’t be mad at you, he just wanted to make things right. make you feel reminded that he loved you. more than racing, more than his friends, more than anything in the whole world.
the back of your hands were raised to your eyes when he grabbed them and pulled you closer to him, letting your body rest against his chest. you gave in, knowing that at the end of the day, he was your safe place. your shoulder to cry on, the one who always saw you in your most vulnerable stages. there was no getting past him with this one.
your hands wrapped around his middle loosely as you cried softly into his chest. he rested his head against yours, rubbing your back the same way he always did whenever he’d comfort you. his lips pressed against your hair before he grabbed your face gently, lifting your chin to have you look at him.
he wiped the tears from your cheeks, eyes searching yours and that’s when you realized he had been crying too, “i’m gonna talk to my trainer and the guys and tell them i need a little bit of a break, and you and i are gonna spend every single day together doing whatever you want.”
you felt selfish now, “but this is your job, lan,”
“i don’t care,” he said, shaking his head as he moved his hand to hold your cheek, “they’ll be fine if i take a few days off.”
your hand came up to mimic his on your cheek, your fingers brushing against the small moles on his face. the same ones your lips press against whenever you kiss his face. the pads of your thumbs brushed away the small tear lingering around his nose.
“i’m sorry,” you apologized, feeling guilty for being cold to the boy who loved you like no other.
“don’t apologize,” he said, “i should’ve done better. you don’t deserve to feel like you’re on the back burner of my life.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck as his snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as if it was even possible. you looked back out the window, the light from the golden hour sun shining on the trees in the backyard. he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, “i love you.”
you smiled softly, pulling back to meet his gaze. your smile making his lips turn up into one mirroring yours, “i love you, too.”
he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, a mixture of the wine you had with dinner and the salty tears you had cried a few moments prior with the subtle hint of your chapstick.
you both pulled away, him taking you by surprise when he lifted you off the ground. you squealed, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you clung onto his hoodie for dear life.
“lando!” you laughed, letting him carry you to the couch and thanking yourself for putting his dinner plate in the fridge earlier.
you had your boy back.
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sweetbans29 · 11 days
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Challenge Me (Spoken For Part 2) - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Calrk x Reader
Summary: Spoken For Part 2 (based off of THIS and THIS and THIS request)
Warnings: fluff, slightly suggestive
Word Count: 3.1k
Spoken For
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: Here is part 2 for Spoken For! Enjoy!
It has been about a month since Caitlin told her team she was married. You followed suit very shortly after. Your team was equally as ecstatic as Cait's when they found out that you and Caitlin were together.
That led to both of your teams checking your schedules to see when the two of you would be facing off which leads you to this week. The Hawkeyes are scheduled to come up to play your team in Connecticut. You had been looking forward to it all season and it's finally about to happen.
Every time you have talked to Caitlin since she told her team she mentions how her teammates talk nonstop about meeting you and getting to see how Caitlin is on the court when she has to play her wife.
The more you think about it - the more it makes you nervous. It is not like you didn't want your teams to know but with the teams knowing, it is only a matter of time before the world knows. The nerves came from all the criticism that you felt like you would get. Even though it was Cait's plan to keep the two of you on the down low and that plan was changed, you loved how it has only been the two of you. There was never anyone poking or prodding into your relationship.
It would be t-minus 4 hours until your girl would be at UConn and your teams would meet. You were excited, to say the least. Her team gets in today (Wednesday), the game is on a Friday, and Cait is spending the weekend with you before heading back.
You keep yourself busy cleaning your apartment and getting all of her favorite snacks to help the time pass. You want to make sure everything is perfect for when she gets here - even though she isn’t staying with you until after the game. Your apartment isn’t big but you invited some of your closest teammates and she invited some of hers to your apartment for a little dinner. Caitlin thought it would be a good way to get to know each other's team - her team was also asking her when they would get to meet you and she was sick of it even though Caitlin loved it when the team talked about you.
The most you had done up to this point was Facetime them once and that was a trip...
"Babe!" You say excitedly as you answer her Facetime call. You are a little surprised when you are met with someone who is not Caitlin.
"Ahhh! I've got her!" The girl yells to someone as she waves at you through the phone. Two other girls come running over and set themselves in the frame. They all have giant smiles on their faces when you hear your girl yelling in the background.
"GABBY! Give me my phone!" You hear Cait yell as she tries to take the phone - at least that is what it looks like.
"Cait-babe?" You say as there is now fear in the girl's eyes who is holding the phone. By the looks of what is happening, it seems like these are Caitlin's teammates and they have stolen her phone to call you.
The screen freezes and then goes black. At first, you think that the Facetime call has ended but you give it a second and then see Caitlin's face pop up on the screen. Her hair is a little rustled and her cheeks are a little rosie.
"Hey babe, sorry about that," she says as she catches her breath. "They took my phone and ran while I was in the shower and I guess they found your contact and called you." She then proceeds to talk to herself more than you, 'Not that it is hard to find you in my phone considering your contact is wifey'. You smile as she continues," The girls have been bugging me nonstop to Facetime you so they can officially introduce themselves."
"Oh that is honestly really sweet of them," you say as you see Caitlin roll her eyes.
"Ya if you think theft is sweet then by all means," she says.
"Put them back on, I would love to meet them." You say as Cait mumbles 'Fine'.
You see Caitlin get up from where she is sitting and walk over to another room. It takes .2 seconds before there are three girls behind her. They all look like little kids waiting for their turn to meet Mickey Mouse and all you can do is smile.
"Hi all - it is nice to finally meet you all," you say introducing yourself.
They all wave at you and go around introducing themselves.
"These are the culprits of the first call," Caitlin says with a laugh and you laugh as well.
"Well, can you blame them? They have known about us for how long and they haven't met me yet," you say as you flip your hair over your shoulder. Caitlin rolls her eyes as a smile sits beautifully on her lips. "And plus, you have met some of my teammates." You say wanting to stir the pot.
The girls behind Cait gasped and started pushing her, grilling her on how she had met your teammates but they had not met you until now and that it was something they had to initiate.
Caitlin groans and gives you a sarcastic 'thank you' as the girls are still going crazy.
"Hey, I have an idea." You say as the gears in your brain begin to turn. "The first time we play each other will be here in Connecticut, when you girls come up, I'll have you over for dinner and we can all get to know each other. I'll also invite some of my closer teammates, it could be fun!"
The girls scream yes and start jumping up and down with excitement - this is all they have wanted since they found out about you. Caitlin gives a little smile and her 'I love you' eyes.
The rest of the call is pretty short due to you having to head out to practice. You tell Caitlin you love her and you can't wait to see her. She says the same as the two of you hang up and continue about your day.
Now here you are - cooking dinner for 8, all while listening to your music a little too loudly. A few of your teammates are hanging out and enjoying the charcuterie board you put out. You have to go over a few times to tell them not to eat everything on the board, hitting Azzi's hand a few times in the process.
You are standing in front of the stove as your hips sway to the music. You jump when you feel a pair of arms come wrapping around your torso, instantly knowing who it is. Your excitement overtakes you as you throw the spoon you were using on the counter and spin around to embrace your wife.
"My love!" You yell in her ear. She buries her face in your neck and you feel her inhale, sending goosebumps to appear on the back of your neck. You are so caught up in your wife that it takes you a minute to see there are three more girls sort of standing there with giant smiles on their faces.
"I am so sorry, how rude of me," you say and you release Cait, earning you a groan from her. You go over and hug all the girls that Caitlin brought. "It is so good to meet you all in person!"
"We can say the same - ever since we found out about you, we have been dying to meet you!" Kate says. "It also doesn't help when Caitlin won't shut up about you," she says, outing Caitlin.
You turn to look at Caitlin and she just shrugs.
"What? Can you blame me? I have the best wife." Caitlin says popping a grape in her mouth and making her way to give you a kiss.
The two of you introduce your teammates. The sight in front of you is one that warms your heart. You completely forget the fact that you are about to face off against them in two days.
All of the girls clicked immediately, all talking about finding out how their teammates were married and then hearing it was to another player in the league. They ask Caitlin and you questions about how you met and when you got married, all of which the two of you were happy about sharing. The night ends with you all sharing ball stories in your living room.
It starts to get late and your teams begin to head out. Your team is the first to go and you walk them out while Caitlin and her team help clean up.
As you are walking out, Paige turns to you with a little smile on her face as she nudges you.
"What?" You say, not being able to hide the smile on your face and give her a little nudge back.
"I've known CC for a long time and I can't imagine anyone more perfect for you than her. The two of you suit each other and I am glad you no longer have to hide that." Paige says. Paige has been one of your rocks going into college and hearing her say these things squeezes your heart.
"Hey don't go soft on me now P," you say joking with her but giving her a look of gratitude.
You say bye to your teammates, telling them you'll see them tomorrow morning, and head back into your apartment.
Caitlin's girls all thank you for dinner and say they will see you on Friday, stepping out to leave Caitlin to say goodbye to you alone.
You wrap her in your arms and just hold her for a minute.
"That was a really good night," you say giving her a little squeeze.
"All thanks to you babe," she says as she separates herself a little from you, not daring to remove her arms from your body. "I am glad our worlds finally got to collide."
"Me too. It's nice that it was here before we destroy you on Friday," you say with a mischievous smile.
"Okay now, don't get ahead of yourself self babe," she says with a laugh. The hands she has on your hips pull you into her body as she continues by whispering in your ear. "We all know who is going to come out on top on Friday." She kisses your neck and you let out a hum.
"Oh we do," you say, eyes closed - enjoying Caitlin's lips on your neck. You bring your girl's face to yours and right before you put your lips on hers, "And babe, it won't be you." You say as you kiss her bottom lip and pulling away from her.
"Your team is waiting," you say as Caitlin looks at you with disbelief.
"Oh you are going to pay for that," Caitlin says with a look in her eye.
"I look forward to it," you say and pinch her hip as she walks out the door. "Love you, babe," you call out to her as she catches up with her team.
You don't get to see Caitlin much before your game on Friday but that was expected.
Friday rolls around and you are locked in before the game. Your team arrives at the arena and everyone is getting ready for the game. Once you are suited up, you are the first one to head out to the floor. When you walk out to look over and see your girl has beat you out and is already throwing some shots. Your head comes down as a smile dawns on your lips and you shake your head - she is incredible.
You begin to warm up as the rest of your team comes out. Everyone is looking and feeling pretty good as the game begins. At tipoff, you walk up to Caitlin on the floor.
"Good luck, babe." You say and she smiles at you. "You'll need it," you say finishing your thought, and Cait's face changes to a serious one. She is locked in and you slightly bite your lip as a locked-in Cait is one of your favorite sights. She notices your little action and knows it is going to be a long game.
The first half is a pretty physical game - both teams working hard to make sure the other doesn't get ahead. You can tell Caitlin is pissed which is reciprocated in some of your teammates. Paige has been guarding Cait most of the first half which was your coach's choice. It was a pretty good match considering they have played together before. You head into the lockers as the score is 47-45 with Iowa in the lead.
Your team takes time to reset and as you head out to the court again - Geno tasks you with guarding Caitlin now as Paige shifts to Kate Martin.
Everyone is back on the floor and you make your way to Cait. She gives you a little wink and you shake your head. The next quarter you guard her well, only allowing her to get 5 points in the quarter. You on the other hand were able to put up double what she has to help keep you tied or just below Iowa.
It all comes down to the fourth quarter. Your hand rarely leaves Caitlin, always having her within arm's reach. Time runs down as you have the ball, putting up a 3. You hold up three fingers and turn to the crowd, hearing the crowd go wild. Not 20 seconds later, Caitlin does the same thing and copies your celebration. You run back over to her giving her a little nudge.
"Game's not over yet," you say running back to offense. Moving the ball around and hitting Paige - who drains another 3. Cait nods in response.
It is down to the final 30 seconds as Iowa is up by 4. Your team can take the win if it is executed correctly.
You know Caitlin is going to be guarding you hard but you know how she plays. This may be the first time you are on the opposite team but it is not the first time you have seen Caitlin in this position. You know she doesn't want to draw the foul but you are going to make her.
Azzi passes you the ball behind the back as you drive in the middle putting it up with your left. You get hit hard from the right and go down, hitting the ground even harder. You hear the buzzard go off signaling your basket is good.
As you are on the ground, it takes you a second to get up. Paige and Azzi try grabbing your hands to pull you up but you aren't ready. There is still a pain shooting through your left arm as you open and close your hand. Your elbow took most of the blow as you hit the ground and you know you just need a second for the feeling to come back.
You wave off Geno and your trainer as you reach up to Paige. She pulls you up and checks if you are okay. You nod as Caitlin makes her way to you. She is face to face with you as she goes to say something into your ear.
"You good babe?" She asks, bringing her hand up to your elbow. You flinch as her skin makes contact with yours. "I didn't mean to knock you that hard."
"It's good," you say lying through your teeth and Caitlin knows. She tries to get you to sit but you refuse as there are only seconds left in the game and your team is still down by 2.
You walk to the foul line and shake out your arm.
You miss the first one, cursing to yourself knowing every point is needed. You make the second and remain to play full-court defense.
The ball is thrown in and Paige knocks it midair before it can get to the Iowa player. You pick it up - seeing the seconds run down, you know you have 4 seconds to put up the shot. When you pick up the ball you are on the 3-point line and know you can do it.
Stepping left, you draw Cait to go left. She knows that's your go-to move and your stronger shot. At least it was back in high school. You fake it and go right, giving you just enough space to put for the 3.
The ball is released from your hand and the final buzzard follows by a few milliseconds. Everything moves in slow motion. Everyone is looking at the ball - waiting to see if you have done it or not.
Caitlin is facing the basket, her hand on your hip as if to box you out even though the game is over. Both of you waiting to see who will end up on top.
The ball hits the back side of the rim, bouncing up before going through the net - putting your team ahead by two and winning the game.
A smile comes to your face as your team rushes over to you. Caitlin looks down as she claps her hands. She walks over to her team, giving them high fives.
Your teams line up to say good game to the other team. When you get to Caitlin, she pulls you in.
"Looks like you get to be on top tonight," she says as she secretly loops her finger in your shorts and pulls the elastic. A blush creeps into your cheeks as you just shake your head at your wife.
You have an f-it moment since your teams already know and now it won't be long before the world knows too. You want it to be on your timing and not anyone else's.
Without warning, you grab Caitlin's face and lay your lips on hers, taking her breath away. You pull away and give her a little wink as she is too stunned to speak. What is left of the crowd is going absolutely crazy as you just went public with your relationship. You know many will think you are just dating or something but you don't care. All you care about is now the world knows.
It is Caitlin's turn to blush as she pulls you in and buries her face in your neck.
"I love you, babe," you say giving her back a pat.
"I love you more," she responds.
AN: TADA! I hope you all enjoy part 2 just as much as much as the first. Please let me know what you think. And as always, thank you for the love and support 🤍
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yuquinzel · 1 year
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[ 8:37 pm ] — miya atsumu.
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the clock reads 8:37 pm, exactly 14 seconds to 38 and atsumu is painfully aware of each long, dragging and excruciatingly endless second because it's been exactly 4 hours, 19 minutes and 12 seconds since you left on him read.
he's currently laid on his bed, in his dimly lit room where the only source of illumination is the faint fluorescent glow of his mobile screen.
he's frowning, brows furrowed at the dull ‘seen 4hrs ago’ in anticipation because at any second now he'll see the ‘typing...’ indication and he doesn't wanna be late to reply.
atsumu is a fast and an energetic texter. he sends you at least 14 cat videos with the “ur the third one” message immediately after each. or he sends you those ‘ask your friend which hour of the day you are’ followed by a “you. blue hour” hopefully awaiting your reply because he needs to know if you think he's the golden hour or not.
y/n 🛐: you're definitely the golden hour then lol
the better twin: damn. didn't expect that.
he actually did. hoped for it in fact. he thinks about it for the next week.
you're not the type to leave people on seen for more than 5 minutes. at least not him. you reply as quick as you can with the same energy as him and have a habit of liking his rather funny texts from time to time.
so he's more confused than upset right now, thinking of all possible reasons you could've read his messages but were unable to reply. he hasn't seen you since last friday when you told him about a week long road trip with your family. his frown only deepens when the clock hits 8:40 and there's no sign of a reply from you.
he's beginning to type a quick “are u good?” when his screen flashes with a call. your contact name. the phone rings in atsumu's hand but his fingers are frozen.
you're calling him.
you don't like phone calls.
atsumu clears his throat because he doesn't want you to hear him squeal with excitement, but he's giggling and kicking his feet, running a hand over his heart and rubbing his eyes to make sure it really is you. he lets the phone ring for a mere seconds before picking it up, “oh hey” he hopes it's as casual as he thinks.
the moment he hears you speak from the other side, atsumu knows he has lost, “ATSUMU! I'm so sorry for leaving you on read. i was in the car and battery fucking died before i could reply and i lost my charger!” you're chasing after your own words, each cut by the next one.
“oh, nah that's fine. so ya found yer charger?” he groans internally at his words, but truthfully he doesn't know what to say.
of course you didn't willingly leave him on read. of course you're calling him now because you don't want him to think otherwise. of course your words are rushed, you've always been that way.
“oh, right yeah. i got home and charged it as soon as I could” you laugh with a newfound sense of relief.
atsumu blinks, “yer home already? weren'tcha coming this sunday??” he asks.
“ohh, no, we decided to come back earlier”
and the voice call ends, leaving you confused.
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it's 9:29 pm and there's a knocking at your door, hastened and impatient, the way you know someone always knocks.
“’tsumu? wait, why are you here at this hour?” you ask, wide eyes set on the setter in front of you panting like he ran a marathon.
“ya said you were back and ya must be tired so i gotcha ice cream—” he breathes out, gesturing to the bag in his hand, “—gee, coulda told me you were comin’ back today, when'd ya get here anyway? how was the trip? did ya take pictures?—”
“atsumu” you say softly, and he pauses, “breathe ”
atsumu lives about 45 minutes away, 15 if he takes the car but as he's panting right now, you know he's ran all the way here. and if he stopped by the convenience store down the street and still get here in time, you're sure he needs at least a minute to breathe.
he smiles one of his boyish, princely smiles, “also got that movie ya wanted ta watch”
“i thought you'd have watched it already?”
“wanted ta watch it with you” he's giggling with excitement you know he's trying to hide.
“okay” you laugh, grabbing his hand to pull him inside.
“okay” he repeats.
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© yuquinzel2023 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]
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tanniefm · 1 year
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all to you | jjk (m)
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summary - why work on a boring school project when you could fuck your cute bestfriend?!
pairing - sub!jungkook x dom!reader (f)
genre - friends to lovers, pwp
word count - 2.6k
song inspo - all to you by sabrina claudio.
warnings - dry humping, dirty talk, praise, pet names, cumming in pants (EEEE), breast play, reader is described as squishy and squeezable so if you don’t like that my bad
a/n - i just desperately needed whiny koo. badly. also hey lol it’s been a while
♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°∞°•°♪♪°•°∞°•°♪°•°
You're gonna fail this class. Who the fuck even needs calculus anyway? You huff and continue to throw a silent temper tantrum while writing down equations that don't even make sense to you. You look over at your friend, Jungkook to see if he thinks anything of what the professor was saying makes sense, only to see him diligently writing in his notebook and seeming to retain every bit of information the man bellows out to the class. You chuckle to yourself, your Kookie, always hard at work.
You and Jungkook have been friends since you were kids. He's always been a little meek and quiet, a complete juxtaposition from your talkative and loud manner. You had found him cute, even back in elementary school. His bunny smile and his big doe eyes made you melt every time you looked at him. Being neighbors, naturally, you both were constantly around each other. He was content with listening to you talk your head off while he listened intently and nodded along. You two complement each other. Anytime either of you had a problem, the other was always there to give support. Your favorite thing to do though was tease him. Seeing his pretty face burn scarlet and shyly bite his lip after complimenting him gave you a strange sense of satisfaction. It seemed as though no one could get him so flustered but you. Of course, you tried not to dwell on it, but it's not like it wasn't there.
You watched the clock obsessively, desperately waiting for it to strike 4. You smiled once it did and quickly gathered your stuff to meet Jungkook by the door where he always waited for you. Calculus is your last class of the day so he waits for you to pack up to walk back to the dorms together. As you start down the road to your building, you turn and finally ask him what the fuck you're supposed to be doing for class.
“Oh, we have a test next Monday. It's on Convergence and Divergence, remember?” he asks. No, you do not, but you're sure you wrote down some notes somewhere so maybe that'll count for something.
“I do not have the attention span for this shit I swear. Every time he speaks I automatically zone out,” you groan. He giggles and shakes his head.
“I’ll help you study, don't worry,” Your dorm building comes into view as you keep your pace on the sidewalk.
“Great! My roommate won't be home for another couple of hours so we can get started at mine.” you smile.
You take out your key and unlock the door and walk into the living room to set both of your bags on the kitchen table. Jungkook gets his laptop and notebook and sits on the couch. He found doing your work out here is more productive than in your bedroom since you tend to get a little lazy when you're in the comfort of your room. You've argued with him about this plenty of times before, even though you're very aware he's right.
“You want anything to drink? Eat? I think I might have some ramen in the pantry,” you yell from the kitchen.
“Nah I'm good, thanks!” he yells back. His face illuminates from his screen as he starts looking up the test review your professor sent out for the class.
You come back with a bottle of water and your sweatshirt in your hands. Oh. You took it off. Ok, that's fine - Jungkook thinks to himself - the tight tank top you're wearing that seems to accentuate your boobs and curves perfectly is completely fine. He's fine, just focus on the google doc, JK. He tucks his bottom lip between his teeth and stares wide-eyed at his screen.
“Oh shit, I still need to get the stuff for Tae’s party, hold on,” you whip out your phone and search for the text Taehyung sent you about all the different types of snacks and alcohol he wanted.
“Oh no you don't need to do that, I'll get them it's fine!” he rushes to grab his phone and open his notes app. Tae had sent the list of errands he wanted to the group chat and hadn't given anyone a specific job on who needed to buy what. You had said you’d get some of them, but it seems Jungkook had the same intention.
“Kook, I can get them, it's whatever. Just let me look for what he said he needed,” you argue. He attempts to disagree again but you snatch his phone from his hands before he can get a word out.
“Hey, give it back!” he yelps. You cackle mischievously and turn away from him as he tries to grab his phone from your hands. 
“____! Give me my phone!” he whines. He sets his computer on the coffee table and tries to wrestle it from your grasp again. Just as he lunges for his phone, you put your hand on his firm chest and push him back onto the couch. You climb on top of him and straddle his waist. 
“What are you gonna do about it? Why don't you just take it, hm?” you look down at him and freeze. His lips are in a soft pout and he gives you the best puppy eyes he can muster. 
“Please ____? Just give it back, please?” he whines softly. Your breath hitches as you realize the position you're in. Your best friend is under you begging for his phone while you are staring down at him and straddling his tiny waist. His hands had clasped onto your hips and he absentmindedly squeezed them. Fuck he looks so good like this. Jungkook doesn't know what to focus on. The view of you on top of him like this is something he'll be fisting his dick to for weeks. He bets if he leaned up right now he'd be at the perfect level to kiss you. Maybe even kiss your pretty tits that are seemingly calling for him to suck bruises into. He can feel his jeans tighten as his eyes dart everywhere but your eyes and his face starts to turn pink. You mistake his flustered look for being uncomfortable and immediately attempt to apologize and shift off of him. As you make your move, however, you hear him gasp loudly. His grip on your hips tightens further and his face darkens to a bright red. 
“Oh my god I'm so sorry did I hurt you?” you rush out. He looks like a deer in headlights. Maybe you went too far?
“N-no. M’ ok,” he says in a small voice. You furrow your brows in concern and take his face in your hands.
“Are you sure? You're burning up, babe.” you rub your thumbs across his cheekbones as he stares starry-eyed at you. He offhandedly thinks you might've been an angel in your past life. He smiles gently and nods in your hands. He musters the courage to start rubbing his hands up and down your waist slowly. You feel so soft. He wants to hold you like this forever. However, his dick is starting to strain in response to the worried tone you're taking on. He'll never admit it out loud, but he loves how concerned you get over him. It makes him feel needed and special.
“I'm fine, ____, promise.” He hopes you can see past his white lie for once. Unfortunately for him, it's just then that you start to feel something press against your leggings. 
“Jungkook...are you...?” you say slowly. His eyes widen as his entire body stiffens. Fuck fuck you felt him. Oh god, now you're gonna think he's a fucking weirdo that can't control his hormones. He should've never come over. Now you're gonna hate him forever! You notice his eyes start to well up and immediately try to comfort him.
“No! No baby it's ok! I'm not mad or grossed out please no tears you know I don't like seeing my pretty boy sad.” Without thinking, you softly kiss his forehead. He stares at you in awe and sniffles. Your pretty boy. The words swirl through poor Jungkook’s head on repeat. Did you mean it? Is he really yours? Did you really think he was pretty? Do you think about him the way he thinks about you?
“Y-yours? I'm...yours?” he mumbled. His watery eyes are looking at you like you're the center of the universe. Although you didn't mean for the words to slip, you didn't want to watch doubt cloud his eyes if you were to take them back. So you lean down and smile softly. “Mhm, mine. Always mine,” you see him glance down at your lips the closer you get to him. He starts to close his eyes and you giggle quietly at how cute he looks awaiting your kiss. You brush your lips against his and lean back teasingly. He whines and chases after you. 
“You wanna kiss me, baby? Hm?” you smirk as you watch his eyes flutter open and give you a pleading look. “Yes, please. Wanna kiss,” he frowns. You notice his lisp is starting to show as you cause his brain to turn to mush. You like him like this. All whiny and pliant just for you. Your pretty boy. You guide his lips towards yours and caress your hands along his chest. All the sports he's been doing must be paying off since you swear you can feel every muscle in him tense. His tongue shyly comes out to twist against your own which causes you to sigh blissfully into his mouth. Your fingers brush over his nipples and you feel him gasp.
“Oh? Are your little nipples sensitive, baby? You want me to touch them?” he whimpers and nods. “Words, sweetie. You need to tell me you want me,” you say pointedly. For some reason, he feels like you're talking about more than just touching his nipples. 
“Yes ____. Please touch me…I want you,” he says bashfully. You smile and praise him for being so polite, which in turn rewards you with a toothy grin and a cute nose scrunch. You peck his nose before you resume your little make-out session. Your fingers brush over his nipples once more but this time start to circle them slowly. His hips buck as he lets out a small moan that you swallow. Your hands sneak under his shirt to touch them more directly. You slide your hands up his muscular plane and return them to his pebbled peaks. He starts to whine consistently which only makes you wetter. God, he sounds so fucking pretty. Why didn’t you think to do this sooner? You direct your kisses to his jaw and work your way down his neck. You gently suck on his pulse point and it sends him into a full-body shiver. You giggle and tug at the hem of his shirt. He quickly obliges, tugging it off and diving back into you to continue kissing. He thinks kissing you has got to be his favorite feeling in the entire world now. Your lips are so soft and plump, the vanilla-scented gloss you put on smears across his smaller lips, making him feel dizzy and uncomfortably hard. His hands start to squeeze your hips again. They feel so soft and cushy, he loves how squeezable you are. He wonders if your cunt feels just as soft. Fuck he needs you so bad. He starts to rub himself against your clothed center as you slowly take off your tank top. 
Seeing your boobs squeezed into your bra has him drooling. This has to be a dream come true. “Can I take that off too?” he says whilst completely honed in on your breasts. You laugh and nod, god could he get any cuter? He reaches around and clumsily fumbles with the hooks. He’s so horny he can’t even think straight. He already knows his boxers are drenched with how much precum his dick is producing. Once your breasts are freed, he takes a moment to fully take you in and the situation he’s found himself in. His favorite person in the world is grinding on his lap, half nude, and looking at him warmly. He’s definitely fucking dreaming.
He shyly dives his head into your neck and trails soft kisses down towards your chest. The closer he gets to your nipples, the harder he sucks. He wants to leave his mark, anything to prove that this is truly happening. Your weight on top of him and his hands feeling your soft skin is the only thing grounding him at the moment. You grab his ebony locks and guide him to where you want his mouth. As sweet as he’s being, you’re feeling just as needy for him. You grind a little faster which causes him to moan loudly against your nipple. His hand moves from your hips to play with the neglected one. His other hand encourages you to continue your pace on his swollen shaft. Back and forth, back and forth. This is pure bliss for Jungkook. 
Your living room is filled with the noises of pleasure. Anyone unlucky enough to be your neighbor will know that not a single studying tactic is being used right now. But you can’t find it in you to care. All you care about is hearing Jungkook moan as loud as he wants as he orgasms. You briefly consider giving him more than this. Maybe wrapping your lips around his pulsing tip, or even sitting on him directly with no fabric in between. The thought of getting him to ruin his pants is too good to pass up though. You can imagine how embarrassed he might become, but it’s ok, you’ll clean him up. At this you smirk and put your full weight on him, snapping your hips to gain speed.
 He gasps and his eyes widen. Why are you going so fast? At this rate, he’ll… “____ wait! I’m gonna-hngg-I’m not gonna last if you keep going!” You shush him gently and keep your pace. You need to see him crumble under you. He throws his head back as his hips can’t help but thrust into yours. His mouth opens and spills every sound he’s been trying to quiet down. He’s never felt this good in his life. His hand could never compare to this feeling. You lean down and whisper in his, “You gonna cum baby? Cmon Kookie, be a good boy and cum for me. Want you to ruin these pants.” He moans loudly and nods his head rapidly. He lifts his head to look at you as his eyes start to water. “I-I’m-fuck! I can’t! Please don’t stop,” he chokes out. Curses slip profusely from his lips as his moans rise in octave. Until finally, the dam breaks. He spills into his soiled boxers as tears stream down his face and confessions of his love for you leave his mouth. Your body shakes with your own climax and smile bigger than you ever have, you had a feeling he’d be the type to profess his love whilst cumming. He’s such a sweet boy. You tug at the back of his neck to slot your lips onto his.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” he pants into the kiss. You both can’t stop smiling, this is everything you’ve ever wanted. You pull back with a line of spit still connecting you two. “I love you too, you know. So much,” you say as you gaze into his black orbs. He’s gorgeous, he has the same thought as he holds you close. His phone suddenly pings from your side. Damn, you had forgotten all about that thing. A message that makes you both simultaneously cackle and blush appears on the screen. 
Tae:
“Hey so I got the stuff for the party, let me know when ya’ll are done fucking or wtv and come over 😒”
2K notes · View notes
auras-moonstone · 4 months
Text
the one — jack champion
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word count: 940
pairing: jack champion x interviewer!fem!reader
summary: y/n interviews her boyfriend jack at the sundance festival and they reminisce their last interview where they met a year ago.
warnings: fluff. this is a continuation of one of the first stories i wrote, it’s called enchanted to meet you ! i recommend you read it first to fully understand.
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After Jack asked Y/N out for dinner, the two of them became inseparable and started dating soon enough. The fans were ecstatic, having been cheering for them to get together the moment that interview was made.
Now, a year later, they were both flying to Salt Lake for the Sundance Festival, where Y/N would be interviewing and Jack’s new movie Freaky Tales would be screening. They were both excited for it because now they would be there supporting each other as a couple.
“Hi! You seem familiar.” Jack spoke with a teasing smile as he approached his girlfriend for an interview. The feeling of deja vu warmed his heart.
“Hi, Jack. Looking very handsome today.” she smiled tenderly. “Are you going to show me your socks this time?”
“Ugh, stop it.” he laughed as he covered his face in embarrassment.
“So, tell me about Lucid.” Jack started telling the viewers more about his character, and Y/N watched him with a smile on her face. She was so happy to be sharing this with him that she felt like crying, “What’s your favorite thing about the movie?”
“I absolutely love that it is set in the 80s. I actually have been trying to get in the mood during the filming, I made this playlist filled with punk music from that decade.”
“I’ve seen some pictures. The outfits were super cool.” his girlfriend added. “Are we going to see you covered in blood again?”
“Guess you’ll have to see for yourself.” he smirked. Y/N threw him a pleading glance. “You can’t use your girlfriend powers against me. That’s not fair, you know I can’t resist that look.”
“I’m doing it for the people. This was a highly requested question on twitter.” Y/N shrugged.
“Fine, just because it’s you.” he said with a grin. “Yes, I will be covered in blood.”
“Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly.
“What is it with you and blood?” he shook his head laughing.
“I’ll answer that when there’s no camera.” she blushed and he raised and eyebrow in amusement. “Moving on, is there something on your schedule for the next months?”
“Well, the shooting for Avatar 4 starts in a couple of weeks. Other than that, no. Just enjoying my time with my family and my very gorgeous, lovely, and very amazing interviewer, girlfriend.”
Y/N actually giggled, in front of the camera, like a schoolgirl with a crush. He was going to be the death of her. “Well, good for you, Jack. Thank you for your time.”
“For you? I always have time.” he winked. “Text me when you’re done with the interviews, remember you’re also here as my date.”
“How could I forget.” she laughed. “I’ll see you later. I’m proud of you.”
“I’m proud of you, too. I love you.” he wanted to kiss her so bad, but that would definitely be inappropriate so he settled for a tight hug.
“I love you.” she answered right before he left to take pictures.
An hour later, they were finally able to be together again. They were both dragging their feet towards the hotel, absolutely exhausted and drained. Plus, it was so cold that their fingers itched and their toes were practically numb.
“The interview made me a bit emotional.” Y/N spoke. Jack looked at her, urging her to go on. “It made me think of our last interview together, the day we met. I was so nervous that day, and when you appeared it both got worse and better.”
“Why?”
“On one hand, you were so gorgeous that it made me panic. I was scared that my tiny crush would ruin my first interview. And then, you started talking and subtlety guiding me through it… it instantly felt natural. I don’t think I would’ve been as good if I had to interview anyone else.”
“I think you’re wrong. You were just nervous because it was your first, you would’ve figured it out anyways. Yes, we did have an instant connection, but you’re an amazing interviewer. You love your job, you are passionate about it, and that makes people feel comfortable, because you make it like less of a dread.”
Y/N’s sight got blurred by the tears. “Thank you for saying that.”
“I’m just telling the truth, love. I watch every single interview you’ve done, and not once you had made people feel uncomfortable. You’re respectful, sweet and understanding. And you’ve grown so much, I meant it when I said I’m proud of you.”
“I meant it, too. That I’m proud of you and that I love you.”
“I love you, I’ll never get tired of saying it. And I got emotional, too. The deja vu hit me like a truck. I can’t believe it’s been one year. It seems so long ago, but at the same time it feels like time flew by so quickly.”
“Right?!” she exclaimed in agreement. “The interview I was dreading ended up changing my life for the better.”
“You’re so sweet.” he pressed a kiss on the tip of her nose. “I was smitten from the start, literally everyone called me out.”
Y/N laughed. “Maybe I wasn’t as obvious as you, because of the nerves and everything, but I was too. You were so charming.”
“Did I enchant you with my Ghostface socks?”
“Oh, most definitely. That was what made me know you were the one.”
“Am I the one?” he asked, losing the playful tone they had been exchanging.
“I know we’re only nineteen, but I feel like you are it for me.”
The words made his chest clench, in the best way possible. Looking down at her adoringly, he said “You’re it for me, too.”
haunted.ethan i didn’t realize how much i missed this🥺
fearlesslandry one year apart, same expressions of awe😫🫶🏻 best couple ever.
aurasmoonstone okay but i want to know what’s the answer to “what is it with you and blood?” 🤨
y/n.y/l/n that he looks so hot covered in blood😫
jackchampion oh? ☺️ y/n.y/l/n
y/n.y/l/n yes you should only take roles where blood is involved 😙 jackchampion
jackchampion consider it done y/n.y/l/n
y/n.y/l/n okay sidney prescott jackchampion
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mountttmase · 4 months
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Winter Sun - Chapter 4
Note - chapter four already 🤭 we’re over halfway now and I really hope you’re enjoying it so far. Thank you so much for all you lovely people who send me feedback, I appreciate you than I could tell you 😘 this chapter is extra cheeky so buckle up and I’d love to hear what you think 🩷
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 7.8k
Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst
Masterlist
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Your tummy had been churning since you woke up. Partly from the nerves of today but also from thinking about what you and Mason had gotten up to last night. The way he'd handled you with such roughness but praised you at the same time had made you head spin and you could feel your knees buckle as you thought about his wet body pressed tightly to yours.
An incoming call made you snap out of your thoughts, Carly’s face filling the screen and you picked it up with a smile.
‘Good morning, sunshine’ you sang down the phone. Popping the last few bits you needed into your bag and her light chuckle made you smile.
‘Good morning to you too. Are you nearly ready?’
‘Yeah just getting the last of my stuff together’
‘Okay well Mason overslept so him and the boys are gonna follow on once he’s ready. I thought we could go for a little early girly breakfast with the others’
‘Ooo yeah okay I’ll be up in a sec’ you told her before popping your shoes on and meeting the others upstairs.
It was only a ten minute walk to the harbour and you managed to find a cute little cafe along the waters edge so you could order some coffee and pastries and wait for the boys. You’d been sat talking for around half an hour when Kayla said she spotted the boys coming, the four of them laughing and joking until they got closer and saw what they’d missed out on.
‘You made us miss breakfast’ Dec groaned, flopping down next to Lauren but thankfully she’d saved him something.
‘Don’t you start’ Mason groaned, trying to fit himself onto the sofa next to you before picking up your glass of orange juice so he could take a big gulp.
‘What happened Mase?’ Lauren asked as the boys surrounded the table but he just huffed as he placed his arm around the back of you.
‘I was exhausted when I got to bed last night and I must have forgotten to set an alarm for today’ he explained, reaching for the half eaten croissant on your plate and taking a bite out of the end.
‘Was turning the alarm off last night really that stressful?’ Woody laughed and you had to bite back your smile. Looking up at him carefully but the small wink he sent you made your heart flutter.
‘What do you think?’ You asked him quietly, head nodding to the pastry in his hands be he just shrugged and threw it back onto the plate.
‘S’alright. Never as good as yours though’
‘You flatter me’ you laughed, rolling your eyes before turning back to the group. ‘Woody? How are you feeling this morning?’
‘Alright I think. I think the sun got to me yesterday and then all that drink, I just couldn’t handle it’
‘You wait till I get you on that boat’ Dec teased, a mischievous look plastered across his features. ‘I’m gonna rock it until you throw up’
You let the boys bicker amongst themselves. Watching Ben pay for everyone’s breakfast sneakily and when he’d seen you’d caught him he looked at you with a guilty expression.
‘You didn’t have to do that Ben, we could of got it’
‘Its fine I-‘
‘Where do I pay’ you suddenly heard behind you, Carly rummaging through her bag to try and find her purse but you managed to stop her before she emptied her whole bag out.
‘Your delight of a boyfriend has already paid for everyone’ you told her, watching her face soften as she reached over to hold him by his cheeks.
‘Oh Benji, that’s so sweet you didn't need to do that’ she told him sweetly, bringing her lips up to his so she could kiss him deeply so you thought you’d let them have their moment. Going back to join the others so you could make your way over to the boat with Dec and Lauren as Mason trailed behind talking to Woody but as soon as you were about to climb on board he snuck in front of you so he could help you climb on. Blushing as he held his hand out for you.
There was space at the back for all your stuff. Everyone stripping down to their swimwear and excitedly walking around but you waited until everyone had mostly gone before you got changed.
‘I’m sorry, what the hell are you wearing?’ Mason asked quietly after everyone had moved to the front of the boat and it was finally just the two of you. His face was unreadable and you weren’t exactly sure what to say.
Your heart sank at his words, looking down at the bright orange set you’d picked especially for him because you thought he’d love it but his tone seemed angry almost and you gulped as you crossed your arms over yourself.
‘What do you mean?’ You asked quietly, not wanting to look up at him as you thought you’d done something wrong but the feeling of his hands on your wrists so he could uncross your arms made you look up at him shyly.
‘You don’t make this easy for me Muffin, you know that right? How am I meant to act like I don’t wanna fuck your brains out every time I look at you when you’re gonna be walking around like this all day’ he told you with a smile and you realised it wasn’t the fact he didnt like what you were wearing, he actually liked it a little too much. ‘I mean what even is this?’ He laughed, fingers gripping the material that hung on your hips.
‘It’s a sarong’ you whispered, shivering as his hand dipped past the split in the skirt so he could grip your thigh. ‘I didn’t wanna walk around in just a bikini all day so it's just a bit of a cover up, that’s all’
‘Well it's making me lose my mind’ he told you quietly, pulling you closer to his body so he could hide is face in your neck. ‘You’re so sexy and you don't even try’
‘You can talk’ you laughed, trying to brush his compliments away as you could feel the effects they were having on you become stronger by the minute. But you also wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. ‘You think its easy for me watching you walk around with just those little shorts on?’ You laughed, feeling him laugh into your neck as he shook his head slightly. ‘Let’s just try and keep it in our pants, yeah?’
‘I’ll try’ he huffed, pulling back to look at you and the blush across his cheeks made your heart thump. ‘Will you help me with my sun cream?’
‘Of course’ you whispered. ‘Go save us a spot and I’ll be over in a second’ you told him, letting him join the others as you calmed yourself down a little. Once you found the cream you went and sat by him and began to help him apply it, noticing Declan eyeing you curiously from the other side of the boat but you ignored him for now until he made his way over.
‘I think were gonna take turns jumping off the side, you both joining?’
‘Oh um…’ you stuttered, not wanting to be a party pooper but Mason was handing you his phone with a wink.
‘Yeah I’m coming. Y/n promised to get some shots of us’ Mason explained, helping you up so you could join them on the side but he found you somewhere safe to sit so you wouldn’t fall in if the boat swayed about too much.
‘Hey Mase, why have you got a third nipple?’ Woody suddenly questioned. Everyone’s eyes flashing down to Masons chest and the small purple bruise you’d left there last night but you could tell Mason was floundering straight away.
‘Oh that? It’s nothing I just uh- I dropped my shower gel last night and it hit me in the chest’ he lied but you could tell none of the other boys believed him.
‘I wondered what that crash was last night, I could hear it from across the hall’ you chimed in, hoping a bit of support from you would make his silly lie a bit more believable and thankfully it worked. The rest of them making jokes at how clumsy he was before he sent you a quick wink in thanks.
He was trying to impress you, each jump higher and more dangerous than the last and each time he hit the water you felt your heart thump in fear but his little smile as he surfaced always made you feel better.
You left the boys to themselves for a bit, joining the girls for a gossip so you could top up your tan whilst you laughed at the boys trying out silly flips and hearing Masons excited little scream made you giggle.
‘You make sure you don’t hurt yourselves' Carly called over to them before Ben made his way back to her, leaving sloppy wet kisses over her face as his wet hair dangled over her skin causing her to shriek from the sensation. ‘What the hell, Ben you’re all wet’
‘I swear to god Woody, you come near me like that and I'll scream’ Kayla laughed, sitting up as Woody made a move for her, but in the end he grabbed a towel so he could dry off before sitting by her. Dec seemed to have the same idea and knew not to get Lauren wet but you knew Mason was about to do something silly.
You watched him carefully, his towel thrown over his head like a tent as he smiled down at you cheekily but you were slightly distracted watching the stray drops of water travel down his perfect body until they got lost in the waistband of his shorts. You knew he was looking at your mesmerised face and before you knew it everyone began to laugh as he came and laid directly on top of you.
‘You alright there, Mase?’
‘I’m okay’ he laughed, snuggling down into your neck and the cold water made you shiver. ‘You okay?’
‘I’m fine. I mean there’s a heavy weight on me right now but apart from that I’m great’
‘Hey I’m not that heavy’ he moaned, slyly kissing your neck out of the view of everyone else before placing his lips by your ear. ‘Do you ever get sea sick?’
‘Not really, why?’
‘Do you think you could pretend?’ He asked, sliding off you a little so he could rest on his arm and look down at you.
‘Why? You asked with a laugh but his cheeky smirk let you know already.
‘Cause if I don’t do something about the hard on you give me every time I look at you I don’t know what i'll do next’ he explained. ‘Just pretend so I can take you inside and we can be alone for a bit’
‘Just give me some time to get into character. I’ve been sat here chatting like I’m fine I can’t just suddenly be sick’ you explained, watching him excitedly nod at you with a laugh before he got up. Joining the boys again to leave you to it and as the minutes passed, you got quieter and quieter. Resting one hand on your head as the other sat on your tummy and it only took about 15 minutes for everyone to realise something was wrong.
‘Are you okay, y/n? Lauren asked. ‘You’ve gone awfully quiet’
‘I think it's just a little bit of sea sickness, I’m sure it’ll pass’ you smiled but Mason's head was popping up instantly. Ready to get in on the action and make out like you were worse than you were so he grabbed a water bottle and came and sat next to you again.
‘Have you had enough to drink?
‘I’m not sure’
‘You look pale as anything’ he told you, placing a hand on your forehead and making a concerned face. ‘Maybe I should take you inside for a bit, grab you some water and we can stay out of the sun until you start feeling better’
‘Yeah okay, I think that’s for the best’
You let him help you up, holding onto his arm for support as he wrapped an arm around your waist and slowly walked you away from everyone and you thought you’d be away without any issues until someone spoke up.
‘You two gonna be alright? Dec asked, an unreadable tone to his voice but Mason was quick to jump in and reassure him.
‘Yeah, she’ll be fine. I could do with getting out the sun for a bit anyway’ he told him, walking further out of sight. ‘You guys carry on and we’ll be back when she’s better’
As soon as you were out of sight around the side of the boat you couldn’t help but let the giggles take over. ‘I can’t believe they fell for that’ you laughed quietly, opening the door that led to the inside and as soon as you took the first step down you felt him slap your bum gently.
‘Come on Kate Winslet, i’ll sort your Oscar out later’ he teased but as soon as you made it downstairs you realised there would be an issue.
‘We can’t just do it out here’ you told him, looking around at the wide open space. ‘What if someone comes down to check on us? They’ll see everything’
He knew you were right, looking around the room with his lip trapped between his teeth until his eyes fell on the bathroom door and you watched them light up.
‘You can’t be serious’ you laughed, not wanting to to do anything with him in there but he’d already made his mind up and was walking over.
‘This is our only option, come on it’s fine’ he laughed, opening the door and ushering you in. The bathroom was pretty nice and you watched him sit the lid of the toilet down before taking a seat and tapping his thighs. ‘I know it’s not the height of luxury but I’m desperate’
‘I suppose it’s something I can tick off my bucket list’ you huffed, hands reaching to take off your bottoms but one look from him let you know he wanted the sarong left on.
Once you were ready, he shifted his shorts down to free himself before tapping his thighs again so you’d come and sit on him but there was something in the back of your mind that you wanted to do and now seemed like the perfect opportunity.
‘Come on muffin, you know what to do’ he teased, the cheeky smirk on his face driving you wild but you just stood looking at him with your lip trapped between your teeth.
You did know what to do. You knew exactly what he wanted but there was a little voice in the back of your head that was telling you to ignore him and do what you wanted to do. Something you’d been thinking about for days so when you dropped down on your knees in front of him he gave you a confused look.
‘Can I have a taste first please Masey?’ You asked sweetly, taking him in your hand as you looked up at him through your lashes and a sense of pride filled you at the way he was looking at you. His mouth slightly agape as if he wasn’t sure you were being serious but as you began to press kisses to his thighs he nodded his head. Looking on in awe as you licked a long stripe up his length before taking him into your mouth.
‘Jesus Christ, y/n’ he huffed, his hand holding the back of your neck as you worked on him and you felt your legs clench together as the noises falling from his lips.
Mason always liked to keep it very pg in front of the cameras and you knew he swore around his friends but you never knew he had such a filthy mouth until right now. Grunts and groans pouring from him as he repeatedly told you what a good girl you were. That were his good girl and he couldn’t wait to have you so you figured you’d put him out of his misery and came off of him with a pop.
‘Come up here’ he whispered, pulling you up by your arms so you could straddle him and without wasting a second you lined him up and sank down onto him. Giving your hips one roll forward but that was as far as you got before you heard a loud voice and footsteps coming down the stairs inside.
‘Where are you two?’ Dec called, his voice far away but closer than you wanted it to be and the pair of you looked at each other in shock. Almost frozen in fear as if you didn’t know what to do but thankfully Mason took over to try and bail the two of you out.
‘In the bathroom mate. She’s really not well-‘
He was cut off by the feeling of you rolling your hips on top of him. Not caring the Dec was outside the door and this could possibly end very badly but you wanted to teach him a lesson for dragging you down here so he could get his own away.
‘Let me in’ he laughed, trying the handle but luckily enough for you Mason had remembered to lock it.
‘No no no! she’s not well’ Mason shouted. Panicking that you’d be caught in a precarious position but thankfully the door didn’t budge. ‘She’s throwing up she doesn’t want an audience’ he managed to get out, your hips still moving as you tried not to moan and from the way he was gripping your waist you knew he was finding it difficult too.
In the midst of the slight panic you did all you could think of to help and began making fake sick noises. Feeling mason pull you closer, hiding in your neck to silence his laughs as they sounded so terrible before quickly kissing you to make you stop.
‘Do you need me to get anything’
‘No, just go back up and let her sort herself out’ he told him, voice wavering from the way you were making him feel and unfortunately Dec heard.
‘Are you alright mate, you don’t sound too good yourself’
‘I’m fine, just not good with sick. We’ll be back up soon just keep out the way for now’ Mason pleaded. Hoping that would be enough for him to go and before long you both heard him walk back up the steps and shut the door causing you to look at each other again with stupid smiles as you let out a moan in unison.
‘I don’t think you deserve that Oscar now after that performance’ he teased. Pulling down your bikini on one side so he could attach his lips to your chest and the new sensation made you squeeze around him. ‘Just couldn’t wait to fuck me huh?’
‘Nuh uh, and I was under pressure’ you laughed, your head falling forwards until you were touching again and after a quick kiss Mason's lips were by your ear.
‘I need you to keep moving those hips for me, Muffin. Show me how grateful you are for me saving you’ he teased. Hands trailing up and down your back gently as you let out a little chuckle but he was right. You owed him one this time so you did as he asked. Bouncing up and down on him like your life depended on it but as soon as his thumb connected to your clit you knew you were done for.
Thankfully for you, Mason wasn’t far behind you. Your high inducing his own and once you’d calmed down he pulled you into a hug and you both sat there for a few minutes in each other’s embrace as you got your breath back. His fingers trailing across your skin lightly before he nuzzled into your neck so you could hold each other tighter. Both content in the other’s embrace and not caring if it was allowed or not.
‘Come on, we should head back up’ you sighed, getting yourself off of him with a hiss and you quickly dressed yourselves before making sure you looked presentable.
‘Remember you're sick when you’re up there. Don't blow our cover’
‘Well you’ve tired me out so I’ll probably just take a nap’ you laughed. Letting him kiss your check before you both made an appearance again. Carly calling you over to her side and you spent the rest of the time on the boat next to her as she looked after you and kept you hydrated.
‘You’re looking a bit better than before’ she smiled after a little while so you nodded up to her as you sat up properly.
‘Maybe i ate something I shouldn’t have, I feel a lot better now. Thank you for looking after me’
‘What are best friends for’ she laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders so she could pull you in and even though you felt bad for lying to her, you were so thankful to have a friend like her to look after you.
You all decided to head back in around 4pm, wanting to get back to the villa for a shower and you all decided you didn’t want a late one tonight after your night before and your packed day today so you found a restaurant in the main town that could fit you all in. Just like clockwork, Mason was next to you with his arm resting on the back of your chair and you felt like a schoolgirl as you looked at him in his tight vest that was under his open shirt and baggy trousers that showed off his bum perfectly.
You couldn’t deny you loved it though, feeling like he was claiming you in front of everyone. Like you belonged to someone and when your eyes met his repeatedly throughout the night you felt the excitement rush through you knowing what you’d done earlier and what you could still do when you got back.
‘Are you ordering dessert?’ You asked him, unsure if you were able to handle one but the cheeky bite of his lip as he looked you up and down let you know he wasn’t about to give a sensible answer.
‘I mean there’s definitely something sweet I’ve been thinking about eating all day but I think I’ll have to wait till we’re back at the villa to enjoy it’
‘Mason’ you scolded quietly, looking around in fear on the off chance that someone heard but they all seem to be wrapped up in their own conversations thankfully.
‘What? There’s a slice of cheesecake in the fridge I got when we went shopping. I’ve been saving it’ he told you before dragging your chair a little closer to his. ‘I’m sorry, Muffin. You wanna split one?’
‘I’m not so sure now’ you laughed, knowing your cheeks were blood red and you didn’t want anyone to be suspicious so you held your menu up to your face in hopes no one would be able to see you.
‘Oh don’t be like that’ he laughed, hand creeping over your thigh as he moved his head next to yours. Dropping a kiss on your cheek as no one could see you both now but it only made you blush even harder. ‘Come on, you pick what you want and I’ll just eat whatever you leave’
‘Bit like my breakfast this morning huh?’
‘Well I was hungry and it was your bloody fault I was late anyway’
‘How was it-‘
‘Excuse me’ you suddenly heard, dropping the menu down so both of your faces were revealed. The whole table looking at you with curious eyes before Dec carried on speaking. ‘What the hell are you two doing?’
‘Looking at the puds. Its dark in here I couldn’t see’ Mason defended before his eyes shot back to the menu. Trying to make it look like he was carrying on what he was doing before but you knew he was acting and it took all of your power not to laugh at him.
You ordered the chocolate cake in the end, taking it in turns to have a mouthful as you spoke between yourselves but it wasn’t long before Dec was piping up again.
‘Is there something you two wanna tell us?’ Dec laughed, waving his fork in between you and you felt your face flush as everyone turned to look at you both.
‘Mate, stop it’ Mason started but Dec was in a teasing mood unfortunately and you felt yourself sink back into the chair.
‘You don’t leave each other alone’
‘We’re the only two single people here, yeah? What do you want us to do? Third wheel you guys all the time? We’re just talking Dec, can you not? You making y/n uncomfortable now stop it’ Mason told him, trying to defend the pair of you as you had been acting innocently for the most part over dinner and now you felt like you weren’t allowed to even look at Mason without someone saying something.
Thankfully Lauren stepped in, telling Dec off for being immature and upsetting you and Mason but even after he apologised you still felt weird. Letting Mason know he could finish it so you wouldn’t get caught being too close and the sad look in his eyes made your tummy churn.
‘Please just ignore him, he thinks he’s funny and he’s not’ Mason told you quietly and even though you tried to send him a reassuring smile, you didn’t feel like you could talk to him how you were before. Choosing to walk home with Carly and Ben so no one thought anything else was going on but you knew Mason had pulled Dec aside to have a go at him as soon as you got back.
You were treating yourself to a drink in the kitchen when you felt someone walk in, looking up to see Declan looking at you with a face full of sorrow so you smiled at him sympathetically.
‘I’m sorry y/n, I didn’t mean to be rude at dinner. And all the other times’
‘It’s fine-‘
‘No it’s not. Mase told me you’re finding it difficult being here with all the couple’s and you’d made a pact to stick together so I’m sorry for making you feel weird about it’ he explained, taking a seat at the island and you could sense he wanted to talk further about it so you took up the seat opposite him. ‘Truth is, I’d love for him to be with someone like you. He’s been single for a while but he picks all the wrong people, it’s exhausting’ he laughed, eyes lighting up in humour as you laughed along with him. ‘I just think you could be what he needs, but I’m sorry for pushing it, I bet I sound insane’
‘You sound like a concerned father’ you joked, making him laugh before he stood up to pull you into a hug. ‘But you know I want the same for him, that’s just not what this is. We’re friends and that’s it’
‘Well I’ll stop acting like a pushy parent now and leave it. But please don’t be awkward around him or anything cause I know he likes hanging out with you and I don’t wanna mess it up’
‘It’s fine, I’ll pretend none of this even happened’ you nodded, pulling back so you could grab your drink but you made sure to get Mason another bottle from the fridge before you made your way outside.
It was still early by everyone else’s standards, all choosing to come back and have a few drinks and a chat round the fire out where you could actually hear yourselves think but when Dec took his seat you realised there were only two left. One next to Kayla and one next to Mason and even though the events of tonight were still fresh and you’d wonder what everyone thought, you pushed through it and took up the seat next to Mason. The biggest smile on his face now that you were back with him as you popped his fresh bottle on the table in front of him. Your heart giving a thump as he wrapped his arm around the back of you and pressed a barely there kiss to your temple.
‘Thanks, Muffin’
‘Just doing my job’ you laughed but he shook his head playfully in response.
Mason kept his arm around the back of you the whole time and eventually you forgot Dec’s words from earlier. But for Mason it had only made him want to tease you even more it seemed, dropping his arm from the chair so it was draped around your back as he secretly stroked his fingers up and down your waist.
You looked up at him with wide eyes, wondering why he was being so touchy after everything that had been said tonight but he just smiled down at you before placing his lips by your ear.
‘You look really nice l tonight, by the way’ he whispered. Your face heating up immediately as you weren’t used to compliments like this from him. He’d never said anything of the sort the whole time you’d known him and you did all you could think of and tried to deflect and be silly with him.
‘You don’t look too bad yourself’
‘What high praise’ he laughed, resting his head on top of yours as he squeezed you a little tighter. ‘You know I’ve been thinking about that cheesecake in the fridge ever since dinner’ he told you and you rolled your eyes at how hungry he always seemed to be but you could tell from the tone of his voice that just like in the restaurant, he wasn’t talking about cheesecake.
‘You can eat for England sometimes I swear’
‘What, it tastes nice’
‘What sort of cheesecake is it anyway?’
‘It’s this new one, I tried it at the beginning of the week actually’ he told you with a cheeky smirk and you wondered what game he was playing. ‘I’ve been looking at it and wanting to try it for a while but I finally got a taste the other day and now I just want it all the time’
‘Oh yeah?’ You questioned, knowing for definite his words had a double meaning as the dark look in his eyes was making you think he wanted you right now.
‘Mhmmm’ he drawled, squeezing your hip teasingly and you knew exactly what he was talking about ‘I think i might have a serious problem’
‘Well don’t leave it in the fridge for too long, someone else might eat it’ you teased and you watched his face fall just a touch before he smiled at you again.
‘No way, it’s my cheesecake this week’ he teased and even though the pair of you were laughing together you felt weird at him specifying it was this week only.
Mason seemed to be on a mission to tease you for the rest of the night. Touching you and stroking your skin in places that he knew would get him in trouble. Kissing your head and whispering directly into your ear and you knew he was doing it so that when you were finally alone you’d be wound up enough to let him have you but little did he know you were out for a little bit of revenge.
‘I think I’ll head to bed now’ Mason announced to the group and you knew exactly what that meant. He was expecting you to follow him but after the way he’d been teasing you all night you were ready to give it back to him. You let everyone say good night, Ben and Dec announcing they’d be following him in a second and as soon the others were out of ear shot a you turned to him.
‘So soon?’ You asked, batting your eyelashes innocently which caused him to eye you curiously. You were pushing your luck, like you had been all evening, and you knew it but you weren’t about to give up now.
‘Yeah, it’s been a long day. Are you not tired?’
‘Not even a little bit’ you replied, winking as you took another sip of you drink. ‘Me and the girls have got plans to play a few drinking games’
‘Oh… okay then’
‘Sweet dreams, Mase. See you in the morning?’ you smiled, kissing his cheek but not waiting for his reply as you made your way back over to where the girls were sat. There were no plans for any drinking games but he didn’t need to know that. You were just waiting to see how long it would be before before he text you to join him or if that didn’t happen then you’d surprise him but the more worked up he was getting the better.
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It only took 15 minutes for your phone to buzz, Masons name popping up and making you bite your lip to hold back a smile before you let the girls know you were off to bed too before you all made your way back inside. Them taking the stairs up to their rooms as you went down to yours and Masons floor.
You didn’t reply to him, the anticipation too much for you already so you gently knocked and after his faint come in you stepped inside and locked the door behind you.
Mason was sat in the chair behind the desk to the side of his bed, his back to you but as soon as you stepped in the room he slowly turned in the seat to face you. Arms crossed over his chest to show you he was annoyed but his thighs were wide and legs on show in those shorts you loved so much. His face was set, eyes burning into you as he gave you the once over before they settled on your face and you knew you were in for it.
‘You summoned me’
‘I want you to strip for me’ he told you seriously, ignoring the little laugh that came from you at his suggestion but it only to a moment to realise he was being serious.
‘Mase, I-‘
‘I’m waiting’
It was clear to see he wasn’t playing around, a tingle making its way up your spine as you looked back at him. Heat rising to your cheeks as thought over what you were about to do, something you’d never done for anyone, but even though Mason seemingly had turned into an absolute devil it had been your mission to wind him up and you now had the possibility to get under his skin even further.
It was a risk but you trusted Mason so you got to work.
You didn’t take your eyes from his, fingers heading straight to the top button of your dress so you could slowly undo them one by one and you watched as he started to shift in his seat as your hands got lower and lower. You couldn’t tell if you wanted you to slow down or hurry up as his eyes raked over your body. His hands moving to sit in his lap so he could fiddle with his fingers as he took in a nervous gulp and the way he was reacting to you gave you a little boost.
Once all the buttons were undone, you trailed your hands back up your body, slowly prying the fabric apart to give him a glimpse of the white laced underwear set you’d put on in hopes he’d see at some point tonight but you didn’t think he’d be seeing it like this.
As soon as your dress his the floor you watched the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, dark eyes seemingly lost as he couldn’t keep up with where he wanted to look and the shuddery breath that left his lips send a tingle down to your core. You were in the drivers seat now it seemed as he looked at you with flushed cheeks and his lip between his teeth but that was all over when you bent down to untie the strap on your heel.
‘Nuh uh. Keep the shoes on’
‘Seriously?’
‘My game, my rules’ he told you, his confident persona now back it seemed as he lent forward with his elbows on his thighs so he could get a better look at you. ‘Carry on’
The mood had shifted again, Mason with the upper hand so you turned away from him, giving him a view of your bum in the lacey thong you had on before reaching up to unhook your bra. As soon it was off you moved your hair to the side so your back was bare for him and you could hear him shuffling around behind you, not content that he couldn’t see what he wanted to and you tried to hold back a smile at the state you were getting him in.
‘Turn around’
‘Patience is a virtue, Mason’ you teased, sticking your thumbs under the waistband of your underwear so you could tug them down, your hips swaying from side to side a little as you pulled them lower before you bent over for him so you could drop them to the floor and step out of them.
Only then did you slowly turn for him, watching his eyes automatically fly to your chest before making their way down your body so he could drink up every last inch of you. You loved the way he always looked at you, like it was the first time and he couldn’t believe what you were hiding under your clothes but once again he switched. Back to his cocky self and you watched as he nodded his head towards the bed next to him with a serious face. ‘Lay down for me’
You did exactly what he said, not messing around as you were quite liking the way he was being with you so you crawled on top and got settled as he stood up. Standing at the end of the bed fully dressed whilst he looked over you naked body before he nudged your legs apart with his knee so he could rest himself in between your thighs.
‘You were really gonna make we wait huh? I’m glad you came to your senses’ he murmured, lips trailing across your chest before licking a stripe up between your boobs until he got to the base of your throat where he left a light kiss. ‘I was gonna make you suffer for that but since you were such a good girl and did what I asked I think I might go lightly on you’
The butterflies in your stomach were swarming, unsure if you wanted him to take it lightly on your or you wanted him to drag everything out but you knew either way he was in the mood to make you feel good. He was unpredictable though and you weren’t sure what he had in store for you so when he got himself settled to the side of you with your leg trapped between his and the mattress you looked up at him curiously.
He paid no attention to you though, picking up your opposite arm and popping a finger in his mouth so he could wet it before positioning it in between your thighs.
‘Get yourself started and I’ll help you in a minute okay?’ He told you lowly. ‘I wanna watch you first’
You didn’t bother arguing, you knew he’d get his own way eventually so you did what he asked, slowly circling over yourself the way you loved. You just pretended he wasn’t there and got into it like you did when you were alone and he mostly left you to it but once you felt his lips around your nipple you couldn’t help but let out a breathy moan.
‘You gonna let me take over now?’ He spoke against your chest and you finally made eye contact with him, his dark orbs on yours and you managed a feeble nod as his hand met yours to pull it away from you before he laid down in between your legs with your thighs pushed up so you were completely on show for him.
He was clearly still feeling devious as he pressed open mouthed kisses all over the backs of your thighs it made sure to stay away from where you needed him most until you started to squirm and he playfully bit your thigh.
‘Stay still’
‘Come on, Mase. I can’t take it anymore’
‘Poor baby. You think this is bad you wait till you see what I’ve got planned for you’
���But you said you would go lightly on me’ you mumbled, words barely making it out of your mouth as they inched closer to where you needed him.
‘I tell you what, if you promise to keep your hands to yourself I’ll give you what you want right now’ he told you, chuckling as he watched you place your hands under your head so you weren’t tempted to touch him. ‘See, I’ve got you well trained already’
‘I swear to god Mason if you don’t-‘
Your words were cut off by the feeling of his tongue finally connecting with your clit. Short sharp flicks that made your whole body tingle and the most obscene noises to pour from your throat which caused the grip he had on your thighs to tighten a little bit.
‘I wanted to make you suffer for a bit longer but you taste too good’ he moaned, diving back in to play with you as only he knew how and the fact that you couldn’t touch him was making you insane.
That didn’t mean you couldn’t watch him though and you melted at the way he was looking back up at you, a cheeky smile on his lips as he knew how good he was making you feel from the way you were grinding your hips down onto his mouth.
As soon as his right hand started to venture down you knew what was happening and you clenched around nothing in anticipation of his fingers, crying out as he finally began pumping them in and out of you and it was almost as if he’d hit fast forward on your high. His name tumbling out of your mouth in anticipation but just as it was about to hit he stopped all of his movements and your high fizzled away into thin air.
‘What the fuck?’
‘I think you need teaching a lesson young lady’ he laughed, licking his fingers before kissing your thigh again.
‘Are you seriously gonna edge me?’
‘A few times yes. Then you’ll know how I felt having to come here in my own and wait for you’
‘I think I know enough already, please Mase I wanna cum’
‘And you will, I promise’ he told you and you felt like screaming.
But that’s what he did, got you close to your high another two times before stoping just short and you couldn’t be more frustrated if you tried. Every time he took you closer than the last until you were at the point of tears and your frustrations got the better of you.
‘Mase, please. I can’t do it anymore’ you sobbed thrashing your arms when he stopped again and his cocky smile did nothing to settle you.
‘I know, Muffin. I promise I’ll let you next time yeah? I want you cum around me though’ he whispered into your neck, rising up to rid himself of his shirt and you watched through hooded eyes as he undressed the rest of himself. Even the sight of him doing that had you teetering on the edge again. He was perfect and you had to stop the moan that almost came out when he sprung up against his tummy. He was as ready for you as you were for him and when he got settled between your legs again you didn’t have the energy to move.
The feeling of him inside of you was like nothing else, sure his fingers were heaven but there was something different about this. Like he was made for your pleasure and you sighed contently as he filled you to the hilt.
‘I’ll never get over the feeling of you’ he whispered in your ear hoarsely, the sound making you shiver as he began to move his hips. ‘You’re absolutely unreal’
‘Mase-‘ you started but his lips on yours cut you off. He hadn’t kissed you once since you’d got back tonight and the feeling made your heart thud as he poured himself into you. The feeling of him being so gentle with you a stark contrast to how he’d been playing with you this evening and as he pulled away you could tell how close he was.
‘You’ve been so good for me. Keep looking at me yeah? Let me see those pretty eyes so I know how good I’m making you feel’ he mumbled and you cried out as you felt your high coming for the countless time tonight. ‘Go on, you can cum I won’t stop you’
You were seeing stars as you tumbled over the finish line, the most intense high you’d ever experienced thrashing through you as he carried on pounding into you so you could ride your highs out together and you felt like your whole body was singing. Yes you’d been the most frustrated you’d ever been tonight but you’d take it ten times over to have the feeling you had right now. Nothing compared to this and as your foggy eyes looked up to Mason you knew you had a good thing going.
Even if it was just for a week.
y/n
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liked by masonmount, laurenfryer_, declanrice and others
y/n Taking the sea-nic route ⛵️
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declanrice you’re spending so much time with Mason you’re even coming up with with shit puns like he does
masonmount excuse me
y/n who do you think wrote it for me 😌
carlywlms_ glad you’re feeling better missy 🩷
y/n thank you for taking care of me 😘
masonmount 😶
y/n you too 😉
okaylaaa imagine that was the last picture of woody and I ever taken. Plunging to our deaths
woody_ bloody hell love
y/n food for thought. Glad you’re still alive though 😭
masonmount how many did you take of me with my shirt off?
y/n that’s for me to know and for you never to find out 😌
rasmus.hoejlund I hope Mason has been getting some training in too
masonmount don’t worry mate, I’ve been getting my blood pumping at least once a day. Sometimes twice 😉
y/n 🤨
laurenfryer_ today was just the best 🩷
y/n it really was 🥺
benchilwell no pictures of me in my in my shorts?
y/n @carlywlms_ has them under lock and key so I can’t show you off
carlywlms_ too right, that’s MY man
masonprivate and the award goes to 🏆
y/n 👏🏻🤭
Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps
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jakeyp · 8 months
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Hey guys!! Here's a tutorial on how to create those little animated doodles for your gifs so that you don't have to look for the exact overlay you want for hours 👍 This tutorial was requested by @fabines :) It's a long process but it's not too difficult, you just need to know the very basics of gif making! The steps are below the cut :)
1.
First we're going to have our gif ready, and make sure you know how many frames it is!! It should preferrably be an even number! (or a divisible number)
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2.
Now we're going to make another gif, which will be the lil animated doodle. Go to file > new or press ctrl+n. Create a new document that's going to be 300x300 px, and we'll make the background black:
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3.
Now we're going to use a brush to paint the doodle! We're gonna set the size to 4px-7px depending on how thick you want it to be (here i used a 4px brush) and the hardness to 100%, and we're going to trace our doodle on a new layer:
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It does not have to be perfect!! It took me a while to get that crown and it looks half assed 😭 if you can use something other than your mouse like a tablet or something i definitely recommend you do it :)
Now we're going to click on "Create Video Timeline":
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Now the bottom of our workspace is gonna look like this:
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We're going to click on those three little boxes on the bottom left to convert to frame animation:
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And there's that! Now for the slightly tricky part.
4.
We're going to set the layer where we drew the doodle to 40% opacity:
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And on a new layer, we're going to trace the same doodle:
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As you can see it doesn't look the same and it's because it doesnt have to be, that's how we're going to make it look animated!
We're going to repeat that process a few times! What i do to not get confused is that for examples when i'm going to draw layer 3 i first make layer 2 invisble, and then for layer 4 i also make layer 3 invisible and so on
My gif here:
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is 40 frames, which means i can make 8 different variations of my doodle and duplicate each 4 times. This is why it's important that you know how many frames your gif is! And it's even much easier if it's an even number.
But what are we going to do to make it look animated? Well, it's all about using the timeline! First, make sure that the frame delay is set to the same as your base gif. I usually set it to 0,05:
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Now our first layer can go back to 100% opacity, since we're going to use it too:
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So this is what we have so far:
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Only layer 1 is visible. So what we're gonna do is click this little plus icon:
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It duplicates our frame. And on our layer section we're going to make layer 1 invisible and instead make layer 2 visible, and you'll notice that now our first two frames correspond to our first two layers:
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And we're going to do the same thing for each layer! Add a new frame, make layer a invisible, make layer b visible, and so on! Here's what my crown looks like after doing this process with my 8 layers:
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As you can see it's too fast, so that's why i'm going to duplicate each frame 4 times, so each variation has 5 frames on the timeline, and that's how we're going to get the same amount of frames as our base gif:
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So once we have our animated doodle it's very easy from here! We're going to click on the bottom left again to convert our frame animation to a video timeline:
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And we're going to select all of our layers (ctrl+alt+a in windows or just go to select > all layers) and convert them to a smart object (right click > convert to smart object):
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So we're going to select our doodle and copy + paste it on top of your base gif, and we're going to set it to lighten or screen, whichever you prefer:
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So now we place our doodle where we want it, make it whatever size we want, rotate it... and we're freaking done!
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I hope at least half of this made sense akdhsk if you have any questions feel free to send an ask! 💙
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rubra-wav · 3 months
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[ Entry #9 ] Various Vox headcanons
A/N I've got a post coming up about what I think it'd be like to actually date him coming up, (alongside Snap part 2 ofc, I'm just taking my time w it to try keep things accurate) so here's some points which will lead into that next post + other misc stuff I've been thinking abt.
Cw: SFW above cut, NSFW below cut - 18+ MDNI, reference to manipulative behaviours
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SFW
- While drunk, he's both very affectionate and cute but also gets really sad and clingy. If you stop paying attention to him for even a second while he's gonna start bawling like a giant baby. It's also the only time he's truly 100% honest with how he feels about you.
Basically; the mask falls right off, so he doesn't like to get drunk around people. He will deny all that's been said or done during this.
- He doesn't need to sleep but likes to - when he sleeps tho he doesn't really sleep in the traditional sense but instead goes into a preset 'sleep mode' for a specific set of time. He can also be rebooted remotely if you need him up before he's programmed to wake up again. (I discuss more abt this type stuff in entry #4)
- Follow up point: when he dreams while in sleep mode, his dreams play on his screen. He often dreams about becoming essentially king of hell and having people worship him like a god.
If you bring this up, he will be embarrassed as all fucking hell and will also deny it vehemently.
- He ends up getting water damage fairly often because he really loves swimming and aquatic environments ironically.
He's of course got ways of waterproofing himself properly, but usually he will do it badly or just not give a fuck about it and go swimming impulsively.
Will complain like a bitch after getting water damaged as well, holy shit. Blames everything but himself about it.
- Follow up: if you ever take this man to an aquarium on a date, he's going to be so fucking excited about everything he's seeing.
He will be trying to contain himself, but he may end up letting the mask of calmness slip at points and just start randomly talking a million miles an hour about whatever shark, fish, sea creature, etc. He's seeing. He loves sharks so much.
- Somewhat follow-up point: If you 1. don't tell him to shut up about shit when he starts getting excited and talking really fast and loudly AND 2. Actually listen?
He's gonna be so goddamn happy. Holy shit.
He's used to being told to shut up when he starts talking about ideas he has for a new VoxTek project, so if you give him feedback and your thoughts on it once he's done info dumping? He's gonna start internally screaming because he's so happy about it.
- Follow up follow-up: He doesn't take criticism well though. In fact, he's a baby. If you're in a relationship and you've gotten him out of his bs a bit with his ego being fragile as shit about everything, it'll be better but still pretty bad.
He needs reassurance that just because you disagree or think (y) would be a better alternative than what's his (x), that you still think it's a good idea, lmao.
- If you wear blue light glasses he can't hypnotise you, and he absolutely fucking hates it. In an argument or confronting him, you just put on bluelight glasses and cross your arms, and he's so annoyed about it.
You'd need to start wearing blue light glasses, because this asshole will be trying to hypnotise you into forgetting things if you see something of him that he deems 'undesirable' about himself for you to see.
- He's such a colossal attention whore that the second you are doing something thats not to do with him or talking to someone who isn't him, he's gonna be pissy asf about it.
Think glaring at you while pouting and loudly tapping his foot. He's such a little shit 💀
- He's so intensely touch starved it's not even funny. If you're doing anything his hands are gonna be on your hip, your back or your shoulders.
He desperately wants to be physically close to you but he also will never normally instigate cuddle sessions because he thinks it's embarrassing that he wants them so badly. If you instigate them, he will absolutely love it.
Just not in public, though. If you try to be super affectionate or maybe even affectionate with him at all publicly, he'll be pushing you away telling you to wait until later.
And will get mad if you try get a bit defensive about it with him.
NSFW
- He has barely any self-control and ends up getting unintentionally excited really easily - even in situations where he really shouldn't be. If you as his partner are cuddling him, sitting in his lap, touching his neck, or god forbid the ports, he's gonna get hard so quickly it's not even funny.
Him being touch starved is really a double-edged sword because he wants to be near you, but also he gets unintentionally way too physically excited about it and ends up embarrassed asf most of the time.
- Kinda follow up point: I feel as if he's extremely repressed sexually in general. He works extremely long hours to maintain his control over everything single day, and considering his tendency to start zapping things when he gets closer to finishing / overwhelmed, he'd likely not be taking any chances at all with that.
So when he gets physically near his partner alone (and also not even alone), his body just kinda goes 'time to make up for lost time'. 💀
- Most sensitive erogenous zones on him (outside of his dick obviously) are his neck and ports. I'm not sure if him having ports for nipples is canon or not, but if it still is, those are the more sensitive ones. The ones on the back of his head are still an absolute killer, though.
If you kiss his neck even softly, he'll be tensing up, and if you're kissing him or cuddling him and gently brush up against the ports on the back of his head, or your chest brushes against his and brings him nipple stimulation - he's gonna be getting a boner as quick as it gets.
- He doesn't really care too much about his partner's height, but I get the vibe that he'd have a size difference thing and would love a partner who's smaller than him (but not tiny still)
It would trip his ego so much to be able to physically look down on people in general, but with a partner? He'd be going mildly insane about it but in a different way.
Wear his clothes, and they're massive on you? He's gonna be turned on as absolute hell by that. Especially if it's one of his button ups and its neckline is plunging and giving him an eyeful of your chest.
He can easily pick you up and pull you against him in whatever way? Goes absolutely nuts about it.
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I love it when I try to go,'this will only be short', then my brainrot takes hold, and my ideas just keep flowing. 💀
Masterlist
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Lost in Ikea. || John Price x Reader
For @glitterypirateduck's “O, Captain!” writing challenge! I used prompts:
4. Lost in an IKEA
41. Price and Reader run into each other (literally)
48. A character tries to hide that they are crying or upset
Rating: E Words: 1.3K cw: period/menstruation + symptoms, feelings of inaddequacy?. Tags: afab!reader (bc menstruation), you/your pronouns but no Y/N, crying, hurt/comfort, strangers. Summary: Reader is just having a bad day and John is a kind stranger. a/n: I just needed a little hurt/comfort for the soul. This isn't too serious. Also the 'lost' part of Ikea is more emotional than physical. ALSO ALSO, OFC I HAD TO DO THIS PROMPT, my screen name is literally Ikea.
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Should you have gone to Ikea while on your period, when you’re in pain and light-headed and in a mood to kill a man? No.
Here’s the thing, you wanted a specific little bear plush they sell there (DJUNGELSKOG). And a meal from the restaurant. And maybe a new lamp. And a new set of bed covers and pillows. And honestly, you could use a little trolley for your craft supplies. And since you’re there you might as well no longer postpone buying that shelf you need-
You walked around the store for over two hours just looking at everything and, steadily, filling up your card with more than you expected. Little knick-knacks, a new set of cups for the kitchen, a picture frame, etc. etc. 
You took your time, moved at your own pace, slowly observing all the room displays… Maybe got lost at one point, but that’s neither here nor there.
Once you found a storage trolley you liked, as well as a shelf, you advanced through the warehouse, pushing your large cart along.
The trolley came first. It was small and light enough and after checking that the box said White, you found yourself perfectly able to drag it onto the large metal warehouse platform cart.
But then the shelf- you crouched down and tried to get a grip on the box and pull, but the bitch was heavy. You huffed and struggled, but it wouldn’t budge. It probably didn’t help that both your womb and your lower back were throwing a rager of cramps and all your muscles were sore.
Maybe you shouldn’t have come on your period. Another weekend, any other weekend, and you’ve been strong enough to get the box with the disassembled shelf off its perch… But you wanted to do it today! 
You wanted to feel like you got something done. You wanted the sense of accomplishment… You wanted to feel like you persevered through the pain! 
You had the whole day planned out: You got out of bed, you showered, you had proper food and a desert, you cleaned your house, you went outside, and you finally completed something you had been putting off!
You couldn’t leave without the last one! You had to get it out! You wanted to take the stupid shelf home with you!!!!
Tears start pooling in your eyes, your lip beginning to tremble. You’ll blame it on the hormones and the frustration.
Stomping your feet, you walk down the aisle, abandoning your cart and turn the corner intent on pushing the box out from the other side-
Then you smack into a person and it knocks you so off balance (you were already sort of light-headed either way) that you drop onto the linoleum floor.
If the day wasn’t already bad enough and you weren’t already crying, taking a hard seat on the floor in front of a stranger only made you feel that much worse.
“Christ, you alright?” A man’s concerned voice comes from above you. You wince and close your eyes hard, trying to conceal the tears in them.
“Y-Yeah. Sorry. I was in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention.” You murmur and turn to the side, using the floor and the industrial shelf next to you to pull yourself up to your feet.
“No, I’m sorry, I was walking fast too.” He replies. “I wasn’t fast enough to catch you. Might be getting old. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be.” His tone sounds playful, like he’s trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, haha.” You try to laugh it off. You still haven’t properly glanced at him and he can tell that you’re trying to conceal your redened eyes as you look off to the side.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Didn’t hurt you, did I?” He checks, his voice a lot more gentle.
God, you feel pathetic. Crying in front of a stranger in the middle of an IKEA warehouse. 
“I’m fine… Just… having a bad day.” You reply and for a moment you finally look over at him.
Great. On top of making a fool of yourself in front of a stranger who happens to be super kind, said stranger is also older and hot, definitely a dilf. Great, just great. You really should’ve stayed at home today.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” He replies softly as he peers at you with bright blue eyes under thick brown eyebrows.
“It’s fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make this whole thing awkward. I’m sorry.” You turn to return to your things. Fuck the damn shelf, you’re going home and never coming to this IKEA again.
“Wait. Hey!” He says as he calls after you. Turning to look at him, your face twists into an upset, embarrassed look.
“You don’t have to apologise for having a bad day or having a cry, it’s alright.” The man says as he approaches you again when you’re already at your cart.
As he speaks, you notice there’s no pity in his tone, or some sort of cringe-riddled sentiment of awkwardness that comes to normal people when a stranger suddenly overshares. He’s just… kind.
Your face softens a bit more and you quickly turn to look away. Instead, your eyes find the stupid box with the shelf you want, still on the industrial shelves, and you start crying more.
“I just want that bloody shelf and it’s… it’s too heavy and I can’t get it into the cart and- I can’t believe I’m crying over this!” You complain and gesture vaguely to the space in front of you as you find yourself sniffling.
“Alright. Hey, it’s alright.” He assures you and gives you a friendly tap on the back, on your shoulder, over your hoodie. “How about I get it for you?” He asks.
You find yourself looking up at him. “I don’t wanna bother you.”
“Not at all!” He says with a friendly smile and a nod. “I’m plenty strong and I’m already here! Plus, imagine me walking away now after offering?” He jokes.
You can’t help the chuckle the escapes you amidst your broken sobs. “Would’ve been proper rude.”
“Of course it would. And my mum raised me right.” He adds playfully, causing another chuckle to rise out of you. “That’s the smile I wanted.” He cheers.
John moves forward and crouches, helping to slide the heavy box off the shelf with a mighty grip of his big hands, sliding it onto the bottom of the metal cart with the rest of your shopping. “There it is.”
“Thank you…” You murmur as you seek for tissues in your pockets, grabbing one to dab away your tears.
“It’s alright.” He assures you again. “And, for the record, there’s no shame in crying. If you would’ve asked me 3 days ago what I was doing, I’d tell you I was having a good sob in my car after going to the supermarket because I was so tired and overwhelmed.” He admits and chuckles.
“You?” You ask, not quite sure if he was being sincere.
“Oh, yeah. I cry all the time, me.” He tells you and winks one of those blue eyes at you, making you chuckle again.
“Well, thank you, erm…” You trail off, realizing you don’t know his name.
“John.” He says while reaching a hand forward for you to shake. You return the introduction with your own name.
“You think you’ve got this? Or are you gonna need help getting it into the car?” He gestures at your entire cart.
“Oh, shite, you’re right… Need to get this into the car…” You groan and facepalm yourself.
“Tell you what-” John says as he looks at you. “You wait for me while I get the rest of my things-” He takes a list of paper with scribbled reference numbers on it from his pocket. “And we’ll go through checkout together, and I’ll help load this up into your car?”
His offer is so sweet and sincere and kind, you find your eyes clouding with tears again. Then, you nod eagerly and dab away the tears with your crumpled up tissue again.
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[ O, Captain! Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]
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overnowsfcb · 6 months
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halfway out the door; fermín lópez
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summary: fighting to keep a little flame alive underwater, you couldn't lose the only stable thing in your life
warnings: ANGST!!! (no good ending) mature language, mental health issues (panic attack, anxiety, emotional distress), relationship struggles, unhealthy dinamics, brief mention of smut themes. if any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, i advise against reading this story.
word count: 3,3k
note: hiii! it's me again, this time posting for my sweet boy (who is not as sweet in this story) fermín. im planning to do something with all the 1989 vault tracks x barça players. so take it as the first from the series!! also, apologies if the angst hits hard, promise to post fluff next time (its a bit of challenge for me haha) super excited about this and would love to hear your thoughts or suggestions! – venus 🫂💐🫧 p.s.: im so proud of this one tbh
He didn’t seem to have enough time for you anymore. You didn’t want to see the subtle twist, but you knew him all too well and an imperceptible change for everyone was an imposing earthquake in your world.
It was in the hours that your messages would be waiting for a response and the way he wasn’t starved to taste your lips anymore. Once, he’d find an excuse to be with you, even if only for brief minutes. He’d dash to your apartment bearing your favorite chocolate with the pretext of keeping you fed. A smile brightening and your stomach still produced the same fluttering butterflies, as the first time he kissed you underneath the moonlight at fourteen.
Back then, everything was perfect, the chill air in your faces as you ran with sand getting between your toes, you could still feel his timid hands and tender touch on your waist as you both shared a breathtaking kiss.
Your mother's words echoed - relationships don't last forever. You'd always dismissed her musings, attributing them to the bitterness stemming from your father's departure. But now, that thought held a glimmer of truth.
He was your soulmate, your solid backbone, he would hold the candles for you even if his arm grew weary, drawing strength from unimaginable places. Unseen pictures would fill his phone, capturing your candid moments, proudly setting you as his lock screen. One cherished memory stood out: a photo of you, pajama-clad, returning from a late-night ice cream run, a victorious smile on your face. You had lost a bet that day, darting to the store at 1 AM, just a street away from your building.
However, now everything appeared to be falling apart; the last picture in his gallery folder, titled 'I love, mine, mine, mine,' dated back to July, and it was already November. It contrasted the warmth of July with the chilling absence of recent affection.
Yearning for something to blame, tears seemed futile as memories replayed relentlessly, etched deep within your heart. Each sob felt like a painful reminder of the emptiness in the cold, desolate bed without him by your side. Staring at it blankly, your mind echoed the silent void, your chest tightening with every expelled breath.
Sleeping alone always felt unbearable. You reached for your phone, gazing at the lock screen displaying a snapshot of both of you in a summer pool. His outings with friends never bothered you; you accepted that he was now part of Barcelona's first team, and you weren't his priority. However, deep down, a simple goodnight message like "Sweet dreams, Pip, I love you" was all you silently longed for. Was it too much to ask from someone who claimed to love you?
The absence weighed heavily as you saw the clock strike 4 AM. This hour always induced a sense of dread, a time too late to sleep, opening the gates to wandering thoughts about life's choices. Moving to Barcelona for him might have been a hasty decision.
In Sevilla, there wasn't much to lose. Your little town overwhelmed you, especially under the weight of your living nightmare, your mother and her pursuit of perfection. That was until she married your toddler brother’s father, her focus shifted almost forgetting about your existence.
He was your escape from that suffocating environment. Initially, it felt liberating, but gradually, it became confining again. The cage expanded as you became his pillar while his name was in everyone’s mouth, especially girls who found him attractive. The weight of being his support, witnessing the attention he received, caused an internal storm. But he wouldn’t change you, right? Yet, the conflict brewed within, the tug-of-war between being the support he needed and holding onto your own identity.
You grew tired of waiting for him, tossing and turning in bed for ten minutes, before finally succumbing to sleep, cocooned in blankets to ward off the cold.
Abruptly opening your eyes, hours later, your body spasmed and your heart raced, reflecting the recent struggles with sleep these days. Observing to your side, relief washed over you; he lay there peacefully, an arm draped over your waist.
Tears welled in your eyes, a sense of loss filling your chest. Deeply in love, you realized your first waking thought was about him, albeit taking a negative turn.
What if I lose him? What if I lost the lighthouse in the middle of the sea? The uncertainty of the waters and the potential fall weighed heavily.
You wanted to get back to those times when you smiled as you landed your eyes, his body next to you, where blonde strands of messy hair framed his face and you delicately organized them while you talked and kissed every morning, staying in bed like an old married couple, feeling each other's warmth, laughter used to fill the air as he playfully booped your nose.
The weight of invisible hands squeezed your chest, making each breath a desperate gasp for air.
You didn't want to feel this anxiety; your breath became erratic. Rushing to the terrace, you breathed as if your mind forewarned a trailer of what has to be.
Struggling to regain control, your hands tightened on the cold railing, a reminder of the grounding reality you struggled to grasp.
Peering down, the height induced paralysis, intensifying your vertigo. "y/n, estás bien?" (are you okay?) His concerned voice, muffled and distant, struggled to penetrate the thick fog of panic, fear rooted you in place, afraid the floor would fall through if you made a step.
"Amor, háblame." (darling, talk to me) He approached, unsure. This panic attack was the first in years. His hand on your shoulder offered reassurance like an anchor, and you emerged from the state, meeting his gaze with your tear-stained eyes; he was still your gentleman. He was still yours.
And you needed to repeat it to stave off madness.
"Abrázame," (hug me) you whispered in a fragile plea. His arms enveloped you, he was the refuge that you needed; his familiar scent eased your breathing.
His head on yours, he sought to share his heartbeat, attempting to quell the sudden anxiety and the questions that haunted your mind. His furrowed brows hinted at his confusion, but conversation could wait. For now, it was about you. The one who never failed him; he couldn't fail you now.
When your body distended completely, he gently guided you back to bed. You clung to him, as if he could run away at any moment.
You walked to your side of the bed and he tucked you in like no one ever did before, leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead, an attempt to dissipate the negativity.
“What time is it?” you inquired, looking up at him.
“Six a.m., sleep. ok?” He stroked your head, and your eyes closed under the weight of fatigue. “I love you so much.”
Days passed after the incident. He chose not to ask more about the reason behind your anxiety, he decided to act as if everything was fine.
This didn't imply he lacked concern for you, but it certainly felt that way. His demeanor towards you was still unchanged.
Feelings unaddressed hung in the air, manifesting in the cold kisses and the superficial small talk that never deepened. But, in front of everyone, you maintained the façade, accepting compliments from everyone about your seemingly perfect relationship. Only if they knew the underlying truth…
Yet, you personally sensed his gradual withdrawal, a palpable feeling of him slipping through your fingers. The strain became evident as you found yourself having to repeat things that were important to you at least three times, only for him to continually forget. Or the lackluster pecks he gave you, making you feel pathetic.
Although feeling unwanted, you weren't a resentful person, so you would religiously sit in the stands at every game and witness how he gained fan's hearts with outstanding performances on the pitch, earning the title of man of one of the champions league matches and you loved how the stadium echoed his name as he made an incredible goal.
You found joy in his happiness, doing his thing with the team of his dreams. In that moment, your mind transported into a different time – those moments when you stood by his side, offering comfort during his moments of self-doubt, back when he believed his dreams would forever be just that – dreams.
His satisfaction meant the world to you. Meeting him as he emerged from the dressing room, already showered, you couldn't help but admire how his wet hair framed his face.
A big smile adorned his face as he approached you. Opening your arms, your bodies collided as he effortlessly lifted you spinning around, creating a whirlwind of laughter that filled the air.
Once he gently set you down, you couldn't contain your pride. Cupping his cheeks, you locked eyes with him. The sense of accomplishment and joy was overwhelming. Your lips met his in a deep, meaningful kiss – one that hadn't been shared in weeks, but in that moment, it felt like the perfect reunion.
You believed this moment marked a fresh start, a much-needed rejuvenation to propel you forward. That optimistic outlook, however, disintegrated after he bid you farewell at your apartment, scrolling through TikTok on your couch, a video of his post-match interview caught your eye, and an involuntary smile crept onto your face.
His voice echoed through the video, captivating in its beauty. The interviewer's final question lingered in the air, "Who are you going to celebrate this with?" Anticipating a mention of teammates, family, and you, you were bewildered as the final words left his mouth – your name conspicuously absent.
And in that instant, the realization struck: he hadn't kept his promise to do a heart gesture to include you in his celebration either. But you decided to let it slide; perhaps it was the adrenaline coursing through his veins that caused him to forget, and you were willing to overlook it.
You turned on the TV to avoid your thoughts. He no longer watched movies with you, and lately, the time you spent together felt like his phone held more allure than anything you did to catch his attention.
Without even mentioning that he wasn't fucking you lately, offering excuses of exhaustion from training or unexpectedly halting any progress when things got heated and leaving your folds wet.
But still, your mouth stayed shut, justifying every action. What you didn't know is that only one drop was missing in the glass before it overflowed – the last straw.
And eventually, the bomb exploded in the least suitable scenario. You stood by his side, his arm around your waist, desperately wanting to take his hand out and shout your feelings in front of everyone.
You didn't want to be there; you longed to be at home with your fluffy cat, who offered more comfort than Fermín did in these past months.
He was so smooth about it, engrossed in the conversation with his friends, seemingly oblivious to your distress. You whispered in his ear that you needed to get home, you weren’t feeling at your best, the strobe lights blinding you, the music pulsating louder than your heartbeat. It felt like water was reaching your nose, and you feared you'd stop breathing any moment.
Yet, you stayed, like a naive girl striving to make everything perfect for her lovely gentleman. But was still that gentleman who put you above all else?
The voices and laughter from his friends overwhelmed you. While you genuinely liked them and had never encountered an issue before, this night seemed a challenge you couldn't survive.
Your gaze darted around, hoping for a savior amid the sea of faces. But there was no one.
The air seemed to get thinner, and your chest constricted, as if locked in a slowly tight embrace. The blue dress discomforting your skin, felt like an additional layer of confinement, fantasizing to shed not only the fabric but also the skin beneath.
It was as if transparent walls were materializing around you, and this was the moment to escape a place to which you didn't belong, feeling like a misplaced puzzle piece, you watched him again with pleading eyes, silently urging him to notice you.
“Fer, really, I need to go home.” You whispered, careful not to let his friends overhear. He scanned your gestures, it took him a few seconds to realize that something about you was off. You wish he had seen it earlier.
Everything he did was later than you needed it, when he did the things, you have already fixed yourself into the uncomfortable.
“Okay, let's go.” He nodded and he finally took out his hand off your waist, allowing a momentary exhale. Greetings were exchanged with his friends and you reciprocated, not wanting to show an impolite image.
Almost running, your feet propelled you outside of the disco, pushing people out of your way, without waiting for Fermín.
The doors swung shut behind you, plunging the abrupt silence upon your ears. Relief washed over you.
Closing your eyes, you took deep breaths. You needed to hold yourself like the grown woman you were and not cry. As the doors swung open and closed again, you turned to find Fermín, a frown etched across his face.
“Why didn't you wait for me?” his voice held a trace of anger, making you shiver. Realizing the street wasn't the place for such a conversation, you began walking towards the car, your feet aching from the high heels worn that night.
He hurried to catch up, the tension palpable. When the car alarm reached your ears, signaling it was unlocked, you opened the door and entered as quickly as you could.
Sitting there, attempting to adjust to sudden silence, you sensed his presence beside you.
Leaning back into the headrest, you brought your hands on your face.
He started talking again. “What's going on you?” you hesitated to face him, reluctant to confront those expressive brown eyes you memorized like the back of your hand.
As he insisted again to hear a response, anger got to your head. Without warning, you exploded, all the carefully restrained words meant to preserve your relationship pouring into a torrent.
“I'm just so damn exhausted! I feel like I'm invisible. I ache to be seen, to matter in your eyes again. I’ve been here, baring my soul, and it feels like you're a million miles away.” Your scream echoed, tears smudging your makeup. You saw the weight of his actions settling on him as his eyes reflected comprehension. A sob escaped your lips, he stood frozen. “I'm just asking you to hear me, to truly see me, and realize that I'm shattering inside because I've already fought too much alone for the person who I thought I would marry.”
He shook his head, a boy who had always the right words now seemed that they left their mind, leaving him defenseless. A hesitant pause filled the car.
Lips parted, but the sentences seemed to dissipate before finding form. It was as if they were navigating a maze of thoughts, searching for the right words to offer comfort or understanding, yet coming up empty-handed.
You got tired of waiting, you've been doing it for such a long time, you almost felt old. But if he just opened his mouth, you knew you would forgive him. “Let's go home.” You whispered, disappointed about a man who you were calling the love of your life.
He gripped the steering wheel and hit the road. Memories flooded back of the anecdotes shared in that white car, now slipping through your fingers like ash.
You pondered the absence of rain, almost expecting the heavens to open up. Wasn't it obligatory for the sky to weep when something magical began succumbing to rationalism?
When you arrived at the house, he finally was able to speak. “I'm so sorry for everything that I caused you.” He didn't know if physical contact would be well received from you. So he gripped even more the steering wheel, needing to make something with his hands, getting out the tension.
“What happened to us, Fer?” your heart-wrenching question hitting him. You were already talking in past tense.
There wasn't an exit for this situation, and he knew that. He wished he could build a time travel machine and make everything alright, fix the first mistake that led to this big snow ball that was making an avalanche. “I-I don't know.”
“I think I'm coming back to Sevilla.” you confessed, stepping out of the car. Your headache due to the tears that you've been letting out and your eyes were puffy.
As you stood outside the car, the quiet suburban street provided a bleak contrast to the storm raging within your emotions.
Fermín, still gripping the steering wheel, searched for words that could somehow mend the gashes that had formed between you two. The realization of the inevitable distance settled on him like a heavy cloak.
“I never meant for it to come to this,” he finally uttered, voice heavy with remorse. “I let things slip away, and I can't forgive myself for that.”
You, caught between the pain and the need for resolution, gazed at him with a mixture of sorrow and longing. The familiar surroundings of the neighborhood seemed to transform into a backdrop for the end of something significant. You already knew you were never coming back here.
In the distance, a streetlamp flickered, casting intermittent shadows on the pavement. You took a deep breath, the chill in the air stinging your lungs, and said, “Sometimes, we have to go back to move forward.”
His eyes, filled with regret, met yours. “Is there anything I can do to make things right?”
But the answer remained unsaid, it wouldn't be fair to give him instructions and keep rowing and carrying him while he was just there. Wounds were already too deep and your energy was drained.
You turned away, the distance between Sevilla and this quiet street growing smaller in comparison to the emotional gap that now separated you two.
The door creaked shut, marking the end of a chapter that perhaps, in the unfathomable depths of your heart you didn't want to admit that you anticipated it.
In the solitude of your apartment, surrounded by echoes of shared laughter and the ghost of a love that once flourished, you confronted the daunting task of rebuilding your world. The faint glow from the streetlamp outside cast a melancholic light on the remnants of what was.
Fermín, still parked, felt the shared years withering in the blink of an eye, something you had been discerning for a torturing amount of time. The engine hummed softly, an averse companion to the lingering regret in the air. As he drove away, the distance between your hearts seemed insurmountable.
You watched as Blaugrana, your Calico fluffy cat, approached you unawarely of everything surrounding her, you sat on the wooden floor with her purring next to you. The sparkle of her collar made you remember how your life was bound to be lived with Fermín forever, in that collar your initials were carved. You didn't want to fall back to this cruel reality.
You even commanded yourself to religion to save your relationship, months before. Night after night, you poured the essence of your yearning into prayers addressed to Aphrodite, beseeching her to weave the threads of love and passion back into your relationship, to restore its former glory. Each whispered plea carried the weight of your sincere desire, a desperate hope that the goddess of love might heed your call and guide your connection to the blissful days of yore.
But even that didn't work. And you realized the hug of what you thought would be a fresh start unraveled into the deceptive clarity of terminal lucidity. Now you would hear the eternal melancholic tone of the complete loss of vital signs. Forever.
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