#also no back pain waow

[prans-micellar-water]

Does the trans tape realistically make that much of a difference? No—it just looks like I’m wearing a slightly-more-compressive-than-normal sports bra (I need more practice applying it I think)

But does it make me feel like the sexiest motherfucker this side of the creek? Yes

#also no back pain waow #I didn’t even really notice the low level back pain until it was gone. Feeling really good!

[crimeronan]

as an Irish person reading trc/tdt what do you think of Maggies characterisation of the Lynch family??

oh i LOVE this question. anon so kindly giving me permission to infodump....

the short answer is: i love it?? i love it. i have varying quibbles about how niall's "redemption arc" is done and stuff like that, but purely on the irish side of things, i love it

further necessary context: i'm irish-american a few generations removed from ireland (who happens to have a hyperfixation on irish myth), my closest familial connections in the country are some distant cousins that my great-aunt traced recently. direct relations to her, but given that she is like 96, much less direct to me. so my perspective is very different from that of an irish person raised n living in ireland, & most of what i love most about the lynch family is directly related to diaspora and intergenerational trauma stuff

i said i was gonna infodump and then couldn't decide where to start. waow. okay so i've talked before about most of the worldbuilding in the dreamer trilogy being based in irish myth - ronan being from the otherworld (eldritch god, fairy, same thing), fintan mac bochra and the hawk of achill, not giving your true name/address to people at the fairy market, etc. these stories are woven through the whole fabric of the series

then the concept of irish storytelling itself is Also woven through the whole series, on both a meta and in-canon level

traditional irish storytellers will take a myth and make it their own, you can trace the origins of different tales back dozens or hundreds of years. the goal isn't to tell the story the way it's been told in generations past, but instead to tell it how You'd tell it. so there are these books repurposing irish myth in this unique way, but also these characters who are all so in love with storytelling in their own ways

you can see it in how niall and aurora tell their stories, how niall's always have a focus on action and tragedy and grisly death while aurora's are more focused on the love and the feelings and the soft fade-out of a tragic hero

you can see it in how declan has inherited niall's propensity for storytelling (the twitter confirmation of his middle name being "tadhg" still makes me Big Eyes Emoji) and also inherited niall's propensity for reckless idiocy, Geis Of Bullshit indeed.

then there's the way that declan and ronan both find themselves playing out different parts of niall's worst traits, how intergenerational trauma seems inescapable, how every damn person in the family is So Mentally Ill. this isn't necessarily the case for every irish-american family but it sure is for kitkat's. hoo boy we love giving chronic pain, psychosis, and inescapable depression to our offspring

that greywaren quote about "diaspora always idealizes the homeland" has stuck with me for a while because there's this kind of muted longing in the books' depiction of ireland itself, but also in the books' depiction of the barns, a place that niall and mór Made ronan's homeland. and more than that i see it in declan's views on his parents themselves, how he's able to reconcile with mór Because she's so distant and unfathomable and never personally fucked him up, so it's easier to forgive and forget everything she's done... how niall is dead and gone and can no longer change his behavior or grow or learn or fuck declan up any worse, so it's easier to accept his love as uncomplicated and good. child idealizing his distant homeland because that's what he's Supposed to have

truly don't know if that was the authorial intention but. it's the only way declan's arc makes any sense to me. that one line does a shitload of heavy lifting

and on a less theme-heavy note i love little details like. the brothers being so in touch with irish culture as second-gen immigrant kids, love that they play the uilleann pipes and attend the fleadh, love that ronan can do an irish accent on command, love that declan keeps photos of ireland in his bedroom but they still don't quite reflect his True Self like his attic does, love that mór is a gaelgeoir (irish speaker), there are other details i'm forgetting now

this post is ungodly long so i'll leave it here. these r my thoughts. it's good shit o/

#replies #trc #cdth #greywaren #greywaren spoilers #greywaren meta #cdth meta #kitkat learns gaeilge #<-only tangentially related but.

[masked-and-doomed]

heya do you got any oc's or anything? like funger oc's n stuff? i'm obsessed with oc's

*since this post mentions her relationship with pocketcat, implied csa warning. also she's depressed so suicide warning ig*

Also. this is 2k words. waow.

Not specifically funger OCs, but I do have a self insert character that I've put in the funger universe!

(the hair is supposed to be black btw it looks more brown to go better with the colour pallette)

I welcome you to- uh. Right. *Turns to face her* You don't have a name. It's been what, fuckin' 3 years? You still haven't decided anything? Oh, now it's kinda maybe meaningful for your character to have no name? Poetic shit? Yeah sure. *Turns back to face you* So, no name. For our sakes, I'll call her Unnamed Girl(ie). UG for short.

She was a human that suddenly got snatched from Earth and put into a white void. And she was trapped there. With memories of nothing. Why she has no name. Well she has some vague memories of her previous life, like her being fatherless, she doesn't remember any names, faces. Just some interactions.

We dunno what the hell happened to Earth nor her, really, all we can assume is that there's probably some sadistic ass higher being that's putting her through that shit? Watching her suffer every moment here. But, we never got to know. They don't really matter to us really, they've never showed up. Not important.

In the white void, she also gained. Some sort of Godhood? She got powers of some sort. So that's one upside. Downside with this is that she's immortal. And as you see, a white void. Is well. A white void. Nothin in it. Sure, she's made a room for herself to get comfy but then you start to go insane with the fact that you're isolated and that there's no one to talk to and you have no purpose in life and that it feels like you were an unwanted part of the universe that wasn't meant to ever be existing but yet you still do, and then erm she can't take it anymore and tries to. Off herself. Multiple times, in fact!

Too bad for her, immortality exists. Or perhaps better called, eternal youth. She hasn't aged since she got here. Perpetually 12, what a hell to be in, huh buddy? Fucked up thing to add on, the way her immortality works is that she suffers the wounds, damage, pain, before her body starts to regrow it back. (Usually like a minute but if she pushes it, it can be instantaneous.)

After a few days in the white void she starts conjuring up friends in her head to try and combat the eternal loneliness. Barely works. She's got three guys in her head, that talk to her from time to time. They're pretty flat and 2D in personality, UG really isn't that much of a creative girl.

(Oohh tumblr compression...)

So, with these characters, let's show you how horrible she is at naming, hm? We got the furry one, Kats. Sadistic and mean one. Guy with the hat is Meowzerz. Cheerleader, also tries to advise UG to be kind. Gas masked fellow is Koolmeow. Wild card, she does whatever she finds fun. Mostly burning things up.

Really shitty names for those last two. No wonder she hasn't picked a name for herself if these are the names she gave these mfs.

...

Well, fuck. Friends aren't really friend-ing great unfortunately. What to do?

Oh, lookie that. That's a buncha.. games and anime. Huh. Well, might as well get through them. All this white is awfully boring.

So after some days of hell, she got to see stories she's vaguely familiar with. Must been stories she experienced back in her previous life. Entertainment is entertainment.

With nothing else in the void really, she gets heavily attached to these media. Filling her time with making fanart and obsessing over the characters. Three in particular she got attached to, but only one of them is of importance considering where we're headed to in this timeline.

Ahh the cat. The horrid horrid cat. I mean she's a young child, having a man tell him she loves her even when it's just a character written by someone else to be a creepy piece of shit is. Well a charming and interesting specimen such as him sharing affection? She can't help but reciprocate back.

With all the time in this non-existence, she makes a whole shrine of shit. Plushies, posters, figures. She loves recreating his likeness and having something physical to hold. Well, she is most well versed in digital art. That she does remember about herself. She was an artist. And most of him is drawn in a computer over and over again. She has no other way to show her love other than to put him in silly situations and emulate how he reacts. Yes I do mean fanfiction. She has a lotta files of just art of him she made, you don't wanna know how big it is.

Even besides him, she's pretty enamoured with this world of Funger. She'd much rather go through that hell than this hell. At least you can die there. And things actually happen.

...

Oh? We can finally go out? After all this time?

You really did get to find a way out, Kats?

It's.. Ahah. The multiverse thing does actually exist, doesn't it? This.. this is the dungeon...

...

Ah, so much explaining her backstory and I haven't gotten to her personality! Well she's. Seriously mentally ill for one. Isolation for god knows how long and all that. I can only conclude Depression or some variation of it for now, though there is definitely another mental disorder at play here. Erm. We might never know. I don't think she'll ever go to therapy or a psychiatrist.

Due to her being in that void for so long, and with barely any memories, there's some things that she's real bad at. Of course, she retains her memory of how to walk, how to speak and communicate, and most basic human things.

However, this bitch cannot social interaction. How unfortunate, my friend.

She can be very blunt and clear with her words. Oh she also has this stupid thing where she's either really crass and informal or just talks fancy and with a thesaurus. Fucking weirdo. can't talk normal ever.

Next note, she has no respect for anyone. That's not to say she doesn't appreciate anyone's company, she definitely likes a good amount of people. Thing is, since she saw this all in a game she played and saw as fiction. Little dolls for her to play with. She never really got to get out of that thinking. Also that with her being some sorta higher being? Yeah, she thinks a little high of herself. Sometimes. Sometimes. (She also think she's the worst thing ever that existed lmao)

Adding on, she also possesses no self respect. No shame. No dignity. No regrets about anything ever. She just lives on. She's a very YOLO it is what it is kinda gal.

UG has a very normal perception of love. She thinks of violence as a sort of love language to her, she just wants to rip her beloveds to shreds. She also has an intense hatred for the cat, despite him being the one she loves most. The hatred plays along with her obsession of the cat. Also. Um. Yandere. yeah. She's obsessive. Isolation and all that. Makes you intensely crave affection and attention. And also being a child. Forever. Yeah she's quite an attention whore. (self label)

Other effects from the isolation also happen to be extreme boredom. She wants to do anything. In her life. And hey, she's got a lot if it to spare.. plany of time. It is mildly boring her that she knows she's most likely gonna win any battle with enemies but still, the experience of fighting is pretty banger. The adrenaline... Thrill seeking. Ahh... She loves fighting.

So um, with those last two paragraphs, she does normal things to both the party that dared step into the dungeon, and the termina contestants. She's normal about them. She is both heavily protective and extremely violent murder maim.

Ah, next thing! She's quite the contradictory thing. Mental disorder again, she can go from one extreme scale to another. Like her love and hatred, protecting her allies to killing them. High self confidence and self praise to self loathing. Sometimes a little bit of a hypocrite. She's weird.

Her morals are. Eh. Eh. Again, she both cares about everyone's lives yet is also apathetic. She doesn't mind murder too much, as she'll dirty her soul a lot through experiencing the funger universe. This. Image.

Everything might as well just be a game to her.

With all o' this. There's multiple timelines of her doing many different things because of how much she can vary and still be in character (well to me, at least). She can do so much. Silly girl.

--

That's all I can think of for now about personality! Little tidbits about her powers before onto the brief timeline. She has some future telling. If the future is far, she can see more possibilities it can go in, not giving an exact determined route of what will happen. If the future is soon, as in, will this guard swing at her right arm or her left arm in 5 seconds? She can check and the future will be certain, that it will be her left arm that will get cut if she doesn't prevent it.

Most of her powers stem from the other media she watched during the isolation period; she rarely uses the Gods' powers in funger purely to fuck around with it and also confuse smart asses. (enki)

--

After finding an escape from the white void, she wakes up in front of the.. dun dun dun... funger dungeons...

She does what any sane person would do and explores with glee.

They aren't really all that scary to a creature like her, only serving her to activate fight mode and get a rush.

She recruits everyone possible with her knowledge of these dungeons, and decides to change some things.

She approaches Pocketcat as she is done with her journey. There are no more battles to fight. No more exploration to be done in this dungeon. She is satisfied. The girl wishes for Pocketcat to eat her, since she hasn't tried that method of killing herself. (Also because she is crushing hard on this man and she knows he loves her too)

He instead gives a different proposal...

...

Remember how she's a sort of 'god' (but not in the funger way) and has OP ass powers? Well there's actually 2 drawbacks to them.

First one, it is quite exhausting. It is also exhausting just living and breathing in fact, but that's the mental disorders. She can go on long without rest but she will be extremely fatigued if she pushes. And my, she pushes a through a lot.

Second, there's one thing that nullifies her powers. Fear. But ah, with a soul like hers, it is quite difficult for her to fear anything. With problems in her way, she either brushes it over, gets enraged, or drowns in sorrow. How on earth could anything scare her?

Ahaha... Well a few actions made by a specific person could scare her...

(he soo gets off being the only one that can get her into such a submissive state, btw)

The one thing keeping her heart from total darkness, now entirely painted black. What a sad soul.

...

So, he didn't kill her. big whump. Fine though, she thinks about the termina festival in 350 years. She wouldn't mind living for that long to see more silly people. Plus, the dungeon took a lot out of her. A lot more magic she used than usual. This period will be... A nice and long break, she thinks positively. One hell she has endured in here, she will prepare to live through and enjoy another. Plus, if it's all adrenaline rushes, how is she meant to savour Termina?

She occupies her time by living with Pocketcat, and.. His usual activities. She joins in on his child murders from time to time. Not as fun as killing monsters that are fully intending to end her life but snuffing another life is still somewhat satisfying, nevertheless. And hey, fun bonding activity, right?

She also does the same as she did in the void, making a bunch of art and stuff. But this time, she actually has someone she can show it to! Speaking of the cat, they do typical lover activities time to time. Dates, and stuff. Doing things together. Fun!

Both of them had their fair share of isolation for a long period of time and needless to say, their 'eternities' are much more lively and worth living through with a like-minded being by their side.

She also.. has a little fun with the contestants before they enter the worst period of their life..

(This part is totally not because of recent events) After spending 350 years with Pocketcat, she picked up some of his mannerisms to her misfortune. Her hand feels like it should be doing something within conversation, so her subconscious makes her jack off a ghost dick. She's gonna have a fun time with talking to people.

...

Now we're at the festival, one meant to end all festivals! And boy it'll end more than just festivals, alright! Hehe.

At the end of this festival, she has one plan.

And that is to finally rest.

She will not be returning from this trip.

...

So, some stuff were left vague because. well. yeah. I don't fully expect to write this into actual fanfiction, but no worries, I'll reveal the gist of what happens at some point. Whether I actually can find it in me to write it out or just make a post about what happens, we shall see.

Extra stuff to mention:

This is basically her. In every universe she visits.

You can check out the '#unnamed OC core' tag to see. More of her vibes.

I also got a playlist.. of her..

(Also, since this is a self insert about half of the traits mentioned are. me. so. yeah. I should try getting diagnosed for something but idk man I can't find shit)

Got any questions! Feel free to ask anything!! >:3 Hell, I'll even answer in character for fun.

#hello asker #unnamed girlie #long post

[thegraveyardjohnsongrey]

June 2021: Convos of the Day

Got asked to be Arlyn’s Bridesman! 

Ratch Night/Dinner with Josh @ Olive Garden #BetYouDidntExpectTheGirlsToPray #ExpensiveDate #AppleSangriaistheMOVE

BECAME A MF CERTIFIED PARALEGAL BITCHEZZZZZZ ‼️‼️‼️‼️ #PBTG

Looking at the median salary for CPs in Florida 🤑🤑 

MY AZZ IS GROWINGGGGG #donk 

#Ziwe 

#SHEESHOOmane  #SHEESHaboy #SHEESHaBunGGEE

#Honey #HaHa #HopHop

Hashtag when will the unemployed life enddddddddd

Is the end of Team Nana as we know it??? 

I just want my $63 back 

Taught caden how to “sing” #AwayAWAAAYY

GOT SURPRISED BY MY LITTLEEEE WITH MY PADDLE AT OUR LINEAGE LUNCH AT GREEN LEMON 

Looked snatched w Kelly at Tangra

“Are you Worth of a Purifying Love?”

i think you are. 

“i wish i didn’t have to go through that”

“and then it turns into a self-directed argument, where i gaslight myself to shed light on what.. happened to me”

6.12.21: Sometimes you need a little grit to your erasers. It doesn’t make them bad, itdoesnt make them defective. Its just how thy are and how they’re supposed to be. — 

Self-care Notes

Sarku didn’t give us a reaction ? (at least from noodles)

church’s makes us very gassy

Affirmations: 

Everybody has their own set going on. Just bc you don’t see it all on social media or necessarily hear about it. Not everything is right. And not everyone is living a perfect, dream-filled life. Everyone has their own set going on. So don’t feel bad 

Jeremy Either: Not everything that works will always work. Sometimes we have to change it up. 

6.1.21

Omg are me and Reena going to be Arlyns bridesmaids!!!!!! 

I love CAM sm 

I love that my mind and body have had a rest from this past Memorial Day weekend 

Goal is to keep up NALA Skills Exam Energy for June LSAT

“If you do it, is it really good for your body?”

“It doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for your life, and it doesn’t meant you want to take it. It’s just a matter of acknowledgement and honesty with how you view where you are right now. When you give a voice to the pain in your heart, there comes a very quiet release to it”

+ Caden saying “Mama” whenever we point to Ate Cherry; laughing and clapping with Dan and Ate in the TV room

+ still excited AF to see what ARLYN has for me and Reena (and to be her mf bridesmaids!!!)

+ Chat group w the Lineage #trollol #OnlyQualityPRchairsInThisLineage #SonAnOldHeadGottaGo #NotActivesSwooningOverChristine 

+ If the me from 5 years ago could see where I am today, I think he’d be shooketh to know that I’m a G and that we have a lineage (like. That we finally found a little, first of all). But to be a G??? And to be a paralegal and active within the Asian American Bar. That’s Iconic. 

6.2.21

per usual, annoyed with how sharing a house compromises your flow and peace of mind 

My body (although thicker than it was this tie last year) is so bomb. Worked out for the first Time in the garage agai today and waow curves. Hope to sharpen/plump them up this summer! 

I have so much love in my life it’s crazy. CAM, Sidenote, Shawntel, Arlyn/Reena, Calvin, my lineage. I don’t ever wanna forget that. 

6.3.21

I registered for my June LSAT! So there’s that. Haha. There are many things about my studying that I wish happened, but. We’re here and we’re as good as we’ll ever be. 

“The Last Time you ever felt excited” 

Inspired by: seeing the sun out and the sky completely illuminated and majestic-looking; kinda gave me a remarkable sense of peace and reminded me that somethings are really belatedly. And if you’re at the right place and right time, you’re reminded that things do exist outside of what you’re most focused about. 

- EDC songs lmao

I can’t wait for the that moment and for that season to come. I really can’t.

But in the meantime, I’ll look back down, hold onto what I got in front of me, and keep it going. It hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows, but I also know that every season has its time. And so I’m gonna see this through. 

6.6.21

+ Clean Room; Fresh Sheets; Cleared Desk, Clean floor 

+ 230 likes on Bridesman pic!!! #TnxReenaForCameraQuality #ImACutie 

+ Mahjong with the fam. won twice!!! #Yehe 

+ Caden’s “Chao” bow and mano po, and just being a cutie and being a smart and growing and funny and sweet boy 

and when that time comes

when your face start to thicken out a lil and you got a little more extra plump in ya booty and thighs —— don’t kill ya self over it. even beyonce couldn’t escape aging. everyone is going to get there and you should bot feel bad for literally your body doing what it needs to be doing. you can’t look 22 forever. (i’m fact, no shade to 2017 you but .. i don’t think you wanna look like 22 year old you again LMAOOOOOO.) the positive  gag is- you looked WAAAAY snatched at 24+25 than you did all your life tbh. bahahhhahha

so don’t beat yourself up over looks. you are funny and have a good heart, and your looks on the outside will never take that away.

ps. you may not have a snatched body or be the fittest guy in 5 years, but i’m positive we’ll have a better idea of our vocation/job by then. and i think that’ll beat any look i’ll ever try to achieve. 

love,

25 yr old you 

7.7.21

+ Not to be arte, BUTTTT youre abs this morning ????? WOW

I can wait forever a day when not everything reminds me of you - Zedd, Gainesville, 2019, Christmas lttrs. i really wish all those lingering hopes of what should have been by now left me. and i wish a greater sense of realism and optimism coursed through every fiber of my being. 

but i’m not there yet. i’m a lot better than i was a year ago, but i’m certainly not 100% free of all that i feel when it comes to you. but, instead of tormenting myself with what was and could have been, i choose now to be a healthier and more inspiring version of myself. and as much as i’d like to replay every juicy detail in my head and remind myself with the sweet things you said,  i deserve to be happy in the now, and i deserve to be happy i’m the meantime while i heal. I deserve to feel and know that i - on my own- am enough, and that just bc it didn’t work out with you, doesn’t mean it will never work out for me

i deserve to know that i’m ok. and that my anxieties about what we were and what we should have been — are all attempts for me to make happy. my anxiety is just trying to help us arrive at a safer and more comfortable place. what i doesn’t know, is that safer and more comfortable is not always the healthiest place

sometimes it will require grit and some challenging moments. and i want to be present for all of them

Jean saying No to the Phoenix - rejecting great power + responsibility  for the sake of living a human life 

Day Trip to drop off Mom & See Caden

IG responses from Caden Medical Emergency video 

+ Call w Kelly 

Exited for Jurassic World 3, (EDCO?)

Excited for life after LSAT again- working on apps, working out, not selling burdened my studying for the time being again 

6.12.21

+ BECAME A MF CERTIFIED PARALEGAL TODAY ‼️‼️‼️‼️ #PBTG

+ IG Story Reactions from CP announcement on IG story CF!!! 

*Clap Reacts: Derick, AC, Kevin Manahan, Ate Lace

“OMG CONGRATULATIONS 🥳🥳❤️” - Alyana

“IM SO PROUDDDDDDD😭👏🏼” - Shawntel 

“Congrats pallll” - Calvin 

“EEEEEEEEEEEE LETS GO FRIENDDDDD. SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUUU” - Lady 

“CONGRATS FRIEENDDDDD” - Kelly

“Congrats Dai” - Kuya Mark 

“CONGRATS ADING. TIME TO PARTY” - Tina

***Call from G Ate Esther 

+ KFT, Lolis, Scandy Questions Game w Josh & Den, Galaxy background, 

#RentingisInsidious #DennisTinderSwiping #AintThatTheSameGuy?? Dream careers: #ZumbaInstructor #HallmarkCardWriter #Showrunner -> #BimboBitch #GaslightingGaslighting #ABCLiquorStore I am my most confident self when i make myself and my friends  laugh 

+ Enjoying the High from thinking about the “CP” credential after my name on my resume 

+ Basking in how much pride, and fulfillment and excitement it brings me 

+ Lineage talking about FK and EDCO 

+ Nana Legacy & Founders Day

+ Conflicting feelings about S - my existent desire for closure still, and feeling conflicted about how my assessment of this person is molded by what i did and didn’t know about them 

“That is the difference. I am no longer scared of losing your friendship. Nor am i socially reliant on it. because i’ve found that I *CAN* live without your accompaniment and that i have so many other friends who are more like family, and fulfill me in ways that you really, objectively,  don’t. You’re tied to so many former seasons of my life that don’t play a large role in who i am today and who i’m trying to be. and so i don’t feel reliant on being “close to you”. it’s also mostly bc i know you’re often motivated by fleeting emotions and occasional hypocrisy. 

6.15.21 “Me Day” + Cleaned mine & Mom’s cards 

+ Massage! #byeKnots + Kangs Garden & Mcd w Josh & (Denni’s house) + Journaling & feels from 2019 journal posts about starting paralegal program <3 hashtag #closure + 8/8 Water + Loving my thighs and how strong legs look. and my BOOTY?????? WOWWWWW

+ Also love that my face is seemingly getting slimmer, but my stomach is def still kinda out there :/ LOL

i also wanna work on thickening my arms in a bully way 

regardless, i’m focusing on becoming stronger and toned! i don’t wanna waste my life away on the treadmill and i keep hearing from everywhere it’s not the move! 

things that made me feel negative today: 

Not having a job rn - so i can’t readily and openly pay for things left and right and “do what i want to”. i mean yes, there’s this layer of wanting to flex for the Gram, but on a more serious level, it’s about having this level of freedom and independence and self-spoiling for myself 

Feeling not good enough to have a job yet in a law firm - feeling helpless reading about all the different requirements and experience employers want you to have and just feeling like — what i have to say and to offer isnt enough. and that i’m just a try-hard imposter 

Alvyn CF story dilemma. ugh. so stupid 

Journal: Letter to 28 year old me

Did law school ever workout? 

Is your raving career all fleshed out? 

Did Team Nana Survive? #BeginningOfTheEndin2021?

did we ever get any kind of closure for S? 

how’s cam?

how are the kids? 

how’s sidenote? 

how’s your planning for our grand 30th in Hawaii going? any updates! any changes? 

omg how was Jurassic World 3? Was it a hot mess? Is Britney still crazy?

6.18.21

+ Things

Caden and seeing how much he talks and how fast he can catch into new things- and just his sweet overall personality growing eacbday 

being of service to my family 

my family 

Things 

Not being in the same “league” my friends - financially or career-wise

Not being able to pay for EDCO right away and be part of the hype that’s going on rn with people buying :(

wondering if i have a group of friends who would wanna do for me what they did for tina today 

wondering if i bring anyone as much joy as i think i do 

not being wanted by S (after i so bravely reacted to something on IG CF)

knowing that i needed to hear the “bad news”, or “disappointing” stuff- but it still hurting every time like it was the first time .. i should be familiar with this pain by now. and it shouldn’t hurt me so personally anymore. but it does and i can’t help but feel broken and excited all at the same time. hah...but i guess in some weird way- i thrive off of this kind of heartbreak? .... bc in many ways, it points me back to the path that i should be on, i suppose. It sobers me up, it reminds me of my fallibility, and it reminds me of what i’m good at. and that- i feel - has always been... finding the silver lining in heartbreak. remembering that i’m more than a potential boyfriend, mastering unrequited feelings, and providing others with wordss of comfort and healing, after i know i’ve been through it before. 

6.19.21

Things that are under attack: my worth & my capability 

Law school applications 

everyone buying their EDCO tickets, and pitching in for bday gifts - being unemployed in the midst of it all and feeling like i can’t contribute or hang with the rest of them — feeling like i’m lacking and that i don’t “deserve” my place. or that i’m even wanted if i can’t “pull my own weight”

being unemployed has left me with those feelings of not being satisfied in either major areas of my life- career-wise or family. 

not feeling good enough or that i’m “pulling my own weight” in either category and feeling like ultimately just wasting time and space in both. 

How many times am i going to have to re-word the same shit and appear just as impactful or important 

like damn 

when the fck am i going to finally get a call-back or get my feet back in

although it feels mortifying, i may have to apply my name and credential to things that are “beneath” me - or at least i need to scout for positions that WILL train me to draft/format pleadings and other legal documents. like phew what the F spc. where’s your bragging in training the best now when i need y’all?? like at LEAST promise me a good employment afterward???? like SHIT

I JUST NEEEEEED MONEEYYYYYYYY

avoiding S’ stories and just h overall. i’m done making myself feel bad. and making myself feel like i have to “feel everything out” in order to get over it. the more i focus on my reality and not the fantasy world i’ve created in my head, the better 

Reactions for Bishops/Biden post

WHEEEWWWWWWW CHILEE - Tewin 

“100%” -risha 

PREACH - arlyn 

sir this is too loud -ray 

PREACH - acelyn 

JDKEKFJEK FRIEND CAN WE PLEAAAAAAASE TALK ABOUT THISZMY CATHOLIC HEART IS HURTING SEEING THIS IS HOW OUR *AMERICAN* CHURCH IS RIGHT NOW - lady

Not needing to depend on fs groupme for affirmation or solidarity

“i don’t fear losing your friendship bc i don’t depend on it for anything anyway. i don’t feel compelled to prove to people that Ibhave a “group” or have a social life outside of what i post/share. esp if i don’t have that kind of regular relationship with you anyway.”

reputation x posting about being Catholic

“if i lost something bc of that, then i know probably shouldn’t have had that thing in the first place anyway” ie certain friendships, relationships, and “popularity”

Expose Your Insecurities : Ep. 1 “Why do i need to be OUT there?”

Who is it that i need to “impress” or flex for anymore? Why is it that if it appears as though i’ve been excluded or left out from a social situation, why is looking like “i’m left out” the worst imaginable pain i can comprehend? 

Why does the desire to look included reach so far within me that i often feel stress over “losing” - and where i feel the need to priotoze those events and things over my family or my wallet? 

Answer: Well bc A.) Youre a sucker for good memories and the feelings of being “alive” and young. But more importantly, it’s an attack on my image and the impression i’ve made on people. in a world that’s full of chaos and one where i don’t have full control, i thrive knowing that my reputation is something i feel most in control of. it’s something i carefully curate throughout the years and I take great pride in that image. - BUT at the same time i often have to remember that nobody is sht and so no ones opinion of me really matters. Well... some do.. But it’s those whom are closest to me that should really matter. and not the “grand” audience i’ve built for myself over the years. 

Maaaaan the archbishops got me having spiritual-intellectual convos in my head again 

I am against the culture that says everyone is entitled to what they want. i am against the culture that says everyone should be married. And that something is wrong with you if you’re not. And i am for the culture that says “maybe, sometimes, i need to break my own heart to satisfy find Jesus some more.”

If we do not operate from a place of genuine love and genuine empathy, we will never go anywhere 

A Law with no Love is pointless to the future of mankind.

“You’re an orator. So of course you’ll want to share. I think you’re best sitting back, observing, and share your commentary.”

faith szn: “Dont talk over Me” 

6.21.21

Seeing CVT bus van at the Vale station 

Feeling a swarm of bittersweet memories, and pride passing by USF areas on campus. remembering how i felt, how i thought, and where i was in that phase of my life with every memory of a particular  area 

Future Posts:

Thankful/Positives List

No Job, No Money, No Life 

Hypocrisy in the Church & Another reminder as to why i loathe human ways 

I need to unplug (the realization that there are so may things that call my attention online - Youtube, Instagram, - and while i feel like i’ve done a pretty great job at organizing and archiving what i want to watch- it is ultimately draining trying to keep up with EVERYTHINGGGG i love. it’s a lot. it’s loud and it’s exhausting. and so i guess for me it’s a reminder to take a step back and to simplify things again

siana 6.22.21

Outtake Clip from “Honeymoon Fades” album interview - Zane Lowe

it’s kinda like having a moment of honesty and saying, 

i’m glad you love me for what i’ve done and who i’ve been. but i hope that you can appreciate me after all of it. even when i’m not that. and if you’re bot and i lose your love

i’m ok with that

it’s a rightful homage to where you’ve been and the mystery of where you’re going next 

is that a fair observation to make abut your latest project?”

“actually.... yeah.”

Lst- last ditch attempt to save something i knew was dead 

but we’re never done. and that’s the point

It is a privilege to see Caden grow up. it is a privilege to have the family and the time that i do. And i never want to forget that.

Boosted my resume and cover letter, hella (yay for looking up job postings on Indeed and editing at midnight - bc thats when we actually h ave time to sit down and do it lolz)

choosing to believe that me writing and re-composing all thee damn cover letters and resumes is going toward something fruitful and beneficial for me. if anything, maybe it’s showing that i CAN cater my writing to whatever is needed via a prompt. maybe this warming me up for my personal statement writing 

feeling bugged by rna again and how she chooses to portray herself to social media and friends. like her hypocrisy bugs me to no end and idk why it bothers me so. 

is it because i see myself in her? is it bc i felt that that’s bot the friend i’ve invested so much time into and it turns out she’s not that? idk man. it’s just annoying. and ya making me want to reach out to other friends who have always story by me. (lady, CAM, etc) 

I also think your insecurities are telling you that you HAVE to be living this particular way of life. and that you HAVE to be young and carefree and do “everythig while you can”. but. the reality is - living THEE life is living AYE life. and it’s about doing things that are fulfilling and selfless. it’s doing things with people who have consistently taken care of you and prioritized you, not indebting yourself to an image oft a group of people that don’t take care of you in the way your family does 

re-word your insecurities: that i’m not a slave or taken for granted person - that i am a benefit and blessing to my family and that i do brig value by being me - no matter what “condition” or shape i’m in 

I want my work & words to bring Healing & Inspiration

I think i always wanted that voice. to tell me that it was ok to feel what i felt. and to assure me that it wasn’t my fault. and that evry thing was going to be ok. i think that’s the kind of stuff that feeds me and gives me purpose. to give my own pain new life and purpose 

sometimes i think ........ like dang. i’m thoughtful. and pretty i tune with my thoughts and feelings. im a good guy. and is like to think i’m pretty funny (based on the reactions people give me). there’s really no one out there that’s interested in this? hhahahahha

but maybe that’s just the le in my talking. 

siana (6.23.21)

I want my work & words to bring Healing & Inspiration

you could argue that your first album - Yours, Truly - even up all the way until Charted - has been your “Honeymoon”. This legacy that you’ve built for yourself and the world you’ve made for your fans. it’s kinda like having a moment of honesty and saying, 

i’m glad you love me for what i’ve done and who i’ve been. but i hope that you can appreciate me after all of it. even when i’m not that. and if you’re bot and i lose your love

i’m ok with that

it’s a rightful homage to where you’ve been and the mystery of where you’re going next 

is that a fair observation to make abut your latest project?”

“actually.... yeah.”

6.27.21 - DERICK SURPRISED ME WITH MY PADDLE TONIIIIIIIIGTHT

Idk. Just ... knowing how much effort was put into it and the fact that so much time and effort and money was poured into it- i’m so happy. 

and th fact that they genuinely surprised me was the icing on the cake. 

Knowing that “that” was one of the last things i had to look forward to as a bro in PDP... it gives me a sense of sweet closure. 

that + seeing minh kenny and randy at Tangria. def reminded me of how far we’ve all come and how what we were is over and done with. 

i mean it’s BEEEEEN been over, but i guess these are the kinds of things that just happen and kinda remind you of how “done” you are of certain phases in your life. 

Going Alone 

Gave me SUCH liberty and freedom. Like not needing to have to worry about someone else or NEEDING to entertain them while i navigated my way through Ybor. I really did enjoy going to things at my own pace (and you know how we get when we get our confident walk stride on- OKKKK. we got places to BE henny.  i enjoyed going to things at my own pace (10 stars would recommend), but i will admit i did get lonely at times. just a few times. when i would see others strangers with their friend groups or SOs. 

Miscommunication & Social Anxiety (the type that you shouldn’t feel when you’re with real friends)

so honestly i didn’t feel bad about not going to the pregame. i saved money by avoiding the need to bring drinks and i also saved the literal gas (i did NOT need to spend more after Green Lemon with the Lineage)

Harvey’s words to me while drunk 🥺

i really do hope we get closer. NOT LIKE —- SUUUPER SUPER tight. doesnt need to be that lmfao. but like.... enough where he’s comfortable to approach me with things if he ever needs to. or that he can trust me. idk. i just don’t wanna be a stranger to him is all

Final Thots 

i guess it’s just a bittersweet reminder that time are changing and we’re all getting older. 

and like..... even tho we weren’t the closest , or wanted to be, the fact that... all of that is done and in the past. like that vibe of being new pbs, going to pi house, seeing each other at music events and stuffs. 

it’s like over. 

and like.. not to be put a depressing cap on it. but... idk. it’s just a weird bittersweet feeling. and in many ways (even tho i don’t give it much thought) - i do mourn what could’ve been in moments like these. the g life that should’ve been. the alternate universe where we were all as close as epsilons are. 

but it ok.

as always, i am happy and i am grateful foe the time i/we had. and what that meant for us then. and i choose to be so thankful for it was and will always be 

2018 was such a good time 

to be fresh enough out of undergrad but to also enjoy the feeling of not being THAT old or THATTTT close to a mid life crisis

Realizing that it’s been 3 years since 2018 and how all the “older ” bros are sigmas and taus???? and i’m LIKE —- WHAT DOES THIS MAKE ME?????????????

anyway. it just goes to show that

“There’s no one to impress anymore” 

and that is the most liberating and freeing feeling ever. 

feel like i’ve fulfilled a character story arc on a long-running show 

6.28.21

it’s so interesting to see how different people react/like what you post. like my ig upload about my paddle and lineage ??? and pleeeeenty of people who never usually like my stuff liked it!! like really random people. like G3 and ucf bros and stuff 

June 

LINEAGE LUNCH @ GREEN LEMON

GOT SURPRISED W MY XMEN PADDLE FROM DERICK 

Kyle likes Reena and idk how to feel about it lmao

LMAO. Idk how or why- but I know ill be reading this one day in the future and laugh about this.

idk. I guess I jy

I guess we’ll just see! Maybe that was God’s greatest blessing to me. To be able to enjoy my own company 

6.28.21

+ Got 220 Likes on lineage/paddle IG pic + Spent whole day being td’s tag team partner 

+ 

Stuff we finished in June

LSAT 3.0 Schedule MassageMassageEnvy 

Updated LinkedIn

[justlookatthosesausages]

“Lift the Spirit” :: a fluff/angst post-Frozen 2 Elsamaren fanfic

Chapter 5: Cause I’m not alone anymore

Nokk was still waiting at the place Elsa had told them to wait. They turned their head to the call of the Snow Queen. It was remarkably stealthy; Elsa didn’t even have to whistle to get their attention, she simply used her mental bond, and the Water Spirit obeyed. 

The blonde ran along the trees, increasing her race even, and the magical horse galloped to join her side, catching up with her rhythm. They ran sideways in the Moon light for a few seconds, Elsa’s gaze still on the horizon to where the Northuldra camp was, and she didn’t even need to look at Nokk for the next step. She rose her left hand and jumped on their back from the flank, her legs hovering their barrel as she seemed to float during her twirl. Her hand still on their crest, she sat bareback as usual and sent a silent order to the Water Spirit, asking them to dash to the Sami village. 

Nokk nodded energetically, and ran to where the others had been waiting. When Elsa arrived in a barely perceptible trot in the camp, several people startled of surprise. 

Except for Anna, who had been expecting her venue and staring at where she had come from. The redhead came closer, holding a torch like several Northuldra. 

“He’s on the shore.” Informed Elsa, staying on Nokk. “I saw him plan how he’s going to cross the Dark Sea. He’s distracted. It’s now or never if we want to have the element of surprise.” 

Anna, Honeymaren, Eydis, Kristoff and Ryder nodded. The Snow Queen outstretched a hand for her sister to help her jump behind her, which she did in a swift motion. 

Kristoff went on Rask’s back, and helped Eydis to get behind her. Finally, Honeymaren and Ryder rode the fastest reindeer of the herd. 

“Everyone, get to your positions.” Ordered the Northuldra leader. “You know what you have to do. Stand guard and don’t let anyone or anything approach. I have confidence in you all.” 

“May Ahtohallan be with you.” Bowed Jongu. He was in charge of the camp while she was gone, and would not disappoint her. His eyes were fierce at the light of his torch. 

They all exchanged words of support, then galloped up North. 

Elsa was leading, with Anna holding her waist tight. The blonde couldn’t tell if she was doing that due to the surreal speed of Nokk and the possibility of falling, to the roughness of Anna’s armor, or to her undeniable mix of stress and excitement. 

The Snow Queen patted her hand. She wondered if she could feel it because she had reinforced leather gloves, but when she felt the redhead tilt on the side, she smiled in success. 

“Everything will be okay, Anna.” 

The Queen didn’t answer, for bad fortune, and simply cuddled closer to her elder. She couldn’t lose her. Not after all that their family had been through. 

Elsa passed a hand along Nokk’s neck while they were heading to the Dark Sea shore. She could feel how nervous the Water Spirit was as well. Even Gale and Bruni, who were protecting the camp, and the Giants, who were patrolling in the land, were exhaling stress, and she could feel it kilometers away. 

“It will be alright, dear friends.” She sent as a mental answer, and their mood calmed down a bit. 

Nevertheless, she was upset that the Spirits couldn’t participate to the fight. She had thought of begging Ahtohallan to use their magic against Victor, but she knew that the laws of Nature were immutable. Magical Spirits had been brought to the world to protect and help, not to attack opposite dark forces. However, as the Fifth Spirit, Elsa was allowed to intervene; just as, sadly, the previous Fifth Spirit could make his own choices concerning Niks’ penalty. The Bridge existed to forge a path between humans and magic, and Elsa’s role now was to stop Victor’s evil ends and prevent him from taking control of Ahtohallan. Her instinct of guardian of the magical source made her flare, ironically in an ice cold way. The glacier had helped her to fully accept and love herself, and she would never let anyone destroy it. 

On that thought, she slammed her heels on Nokk’s sides to go faster, and the Spirit complied with an excited neigh, sharing her feelings. 

=======

“What, you thought you could ambush me?” 

They all widened their eyes in surprise from the big shore rocks they had been hiding behind. 

“This whole shore is covered with pebbles. Only an idiot would not hear you arriving.” Sighed dramatically Victor Eiglatson. 

He turned his attention from the Dark Sea to them, his tangled and dirty hair floating in the wind. Elsa couldn’t help but think, after she saw his deep pain and sorrow at the death of his wife, that he never fully recovered from it, and it would explain his messy appearance and his simple outfit. 

In opposite to the armors or reinforced leather they were wearing, Victor looked weak, feeble. He only had a dark purple cape with a hood, and a vest and pants that looked like the Arendelle army uniform. It was worn-out, but not in the same way than the ones of the guards that had been trapped for years in the Forest like Mattias; he clearly didn’t take care of it, not minding that it had stains at some parts. 

Revulsed, she still answered his invitation when he lifted his chin in a provocative ‘quit your hiding spot if you dare’ gesture. 

Anna grabbed her elder’s arm when she saw her walk around the rock calmly. “What are you doing?!” 

“He wants a fight. I’ll give him a fight.” 

Honeymaren stared at her, but eventually agreed. She stood up from the low rock where she had been hiding with Eydis. 

“She’s right. You want to confront us, don’t you, Victor?” 

The man didn’t get affected by her threatening tone. He preferred to choose sarcasm against her gritted teeth. 

“Well, well, well. I am even blessed by the presence of the Northuldra leader, uhm? How ironic.” 

Elsa frowned and clenched her fists. 

“You know, it’s actually even better.” Admitted the man. “It makes this fight even more meaningful.” 

He cracked his fingers, a habit that Kristoff hated to see, so it’s what made him stand. As if they were mentally connected, Anna rose at the same time on Elsa’s side, like a protective shadow. When she saw her mother stand, Eydis copied the move. She even glanced at Victor with a fierce stare, gripping her mace, to show that even if she was the youngest opponent, it didn’t mean that she wouldn’t make him live hell. Ryder was the last one to stand, but that didn’t make the whole thing less impressive. All together, they walked around the rocks and formed a line, all drawing their weapons in synchronized moves. 

With the whistling wind and the bright Moon light, it made their stance even more epic than it already was. 

“Waow, the whole family is here. How touching.” Commented Victor on a flat tone, not impressed. 

Then, he realized that the shining armors and the magic pieces of Elsa’s outfit weren’t the only thing to gleam in the bright light. He saw, with eyes getting wider and wider, that everyone without exception had custom-made additions to their weapons. Elsa had been way faster at upgrading her assaults than he thought. He tried to hide a nervous gulp, but Honeymaren, with her acute huntress sight, smirked at his state. 

Elsa also saw that he wasn’t expecting that level of preparation. She blinked in realization that Victor had nothing of a great strategist. Only anger and sorrow fueled his actions. So she decided to lower her ice spear. 

She took a few steps forward, her crafted sandals screeching on the pebbles. Anna and Honeymaren exchanged a look, not wanting to lower their weapons like her and wondering what she was doing. 

“Victor, this is your last chance to surrender.” 

“Great, because I never intend to.” Replied the man with deep anger. 

Elsa perceived it, and calmed down the situation. 

“I know why you acted like that lately.” 

“You know nothing about me.” 

“I’ve seen memories of you and the Fifth Spirit in Ahtohallan. I know what happened. I’ve seen it all. Your past… Your pain...” 

She explained everything, and his face distorted when she finished her story. 

“Listen, Victor… I know that you hate me.” 

The man’s face turned into a terrible wince. “That’s a very simple way to phrase it. I despise you. I loathe you.” 

Anna intervened. “No, it’s not true! You hate the previous Fifth Spirit. My sister is different!” 

“I don’t care who’s the person with Ahtohallan’s magic, the Fifth Spirit is still an abomination!” Blurted Victor, yelling on the same tone than the redhead. “There should be no human allowed to have such powers!!”

“You have powers too.” Remarked Kristoff. 

“But I don’t use them to kill people.” 

Elsa gasped, outraged. “You killed two innocent Northuldra!” 

The man shrugged slightly. “That was collateral damage.” 

Honeymaren startled of rage and stepped forward. “IT WAS A FATHER AND HIS SON!!” 

Elsa restrained her by grabbing her arm. She also truly wanted to hurt Victor for his words, but they had to remain calm. The man noticed their anger.

“Nothing you will say will change my mind. Your powers will be mine, Ahtohallan will be mine, and The Fifth Spirit will pay for what it has done to me!” Blurted Victor. 

Anna gripped her sword hard with her two hands, pointing at him threateningly. 

“They’re not a ‘it’, they’re a person!” She blurted with even more verve. “And her name is ELSA!!” 

He looked scowled, yet it seemed like disgust. 

“I refuse to put a name on that being who’s nothing less than a murderer!” 

“For the last time, the previous Fifth Spirit was! Not Elsa!! You’ve got it all wrong!” Yelled Anna. 

Victor was done getting scolded. He flipped his hands, volutes of black goo appearing around his fingers and floating there, just like cold smoke around Elsa’s fingers when she loaded her magic. 

“I’m not coming back on my decision. I will rip the powers out of her body!” 

He had pointed at Elsa with an angry index finger, and it perspired with evil power. Honeymaren instinctively placed herself in front of her. The blonde internally sighed at the behavior of her sister and the reaction of her wife. This was going worse and worse and wouldn’t end well. She could feel the magic pulsating in the air at the man’s anger, so she stared into his eyes. 

“Victor, wait. If you do that, you’ll become the very thing you hated.” 

Elsa’s wise words crossed the night, and everyone looked at her. Even Victor got stunned and remained silent. She got a point, but he chose to ignore her. 

“I doubt of it. I will finally avenge my beloved wife!!” 

The blonde rose calming hands. “And I get it. Believe me, I really do. However, revenge isn’t the solution…” 

“ENOUGH!!” 

Anna was astonished by his persistence. 

“You will rip her powers, even if it means that she will probably die?” She winced. 

“I don’t care.” 

He had stated that in a cold, frigid voice. Eydis gasped at the tone. Kristoff widened his eyes. Anna and Honeymaren were outraged . Elsa… Remained silent. 

“You’re a cruel man with a heart of stone!” Shouted the Queen with a shocked wince, speaking from her guts. 

“I’m bringing justice!” Replied Victor on a strong tone. “I’m doing what needs to be done! She’s a monster!!” 

While they gasped, Elsa walked around Honeymaren and stepped forward, to everyone’s surprise. 

“I used to think I was.” She said. 

Her voice had been calm, deep, sincere. 

“There was a time when I would call myself a monster…” Muttered the Snow Queen. “But I have changed. And one thing is for sure, now… You’ll be way more of a monster that I’ll ever be if you continue to focus on vengeance.” 

“You changed?” Repeated Victor. “What makes you think you’re not still a monster, as you have the same powers than when you called yourself that?” 

Elsa sighed, a bit emotionally. “Because since, I have been guided to a new light. A new perspective. Since then, I have been helped by love. And learned that people actually loved me all along.” 

She paused her powerful speed to turn to Anna and Honeymaren, who were looking at her with touched smiles. “And they still love me every day.” 

“You think that love solves everything?” Frowned Victor. 

“Yes. I do.”

“BULLSHIT! Bring my wife back, then!” Bawled the man. 

Elsa did a move, but not the expected one. She melted her spear, and the two women behind them gasped in warning noises. 

The blonde rose her hand as a dismiss, assuring them that everything was alright. Kristoff remained rational; Elsa could craft a new spear any time she would want, and faster than it would take to say the word. So she wasn’t really putting herself in danger. She was being wise and showed Victor her true intentions. 

The man looked at her with a squint, surprised of her attitude. 

“Does loving yourself better make you lower your guard?” He snorted.

Elsa nodded softly. “Yes. Because I have changed, and you can too.” 

His facial features, which had calmed down a bit, returned to a twisted frown. 

“How dare you TALK about change when you took my WIFE!!” 

Dark energy emanated from him, making splashes of black slime spurt from his hands and all around his foot stomp. The dark pebbles of the shore got stained by it at the pale light of the Moon. 

“Once again, I didn’t.” Reminded Elsa with a calm voice, which was remarkable for the situation, because Victor’s sudden burst had brought everyone else to clench on their weapons and get ready to aim at him. 

“You seem really certain to be innocent.” He grunted. 

“That’s because I am.” 

She stared at him with intensity. “And I intend to be fair. This is the last fight we have. After that, you will face justice and pay for your crimes.” Warned Elsa. 

“Well, there’s at least one thing we agree on, Fifth Spirit.” He replied, his fists clenched. “This indeed will be our one and only face-to-face.” 

He looked around, now pensive. 

“I got to say, it’s a nice place to have it. If I had to pick, I would have hesitated between here and the entrance of the Forest.”

“The Elemental Stones?” Frowned Anna. 

“Yes. That. They would look great as battle ruins, wouldn’t they? Once they get destroyed with my vengeance.” 

“How dare you.” Muttered Honeymaren, who had chosen to stay silent until now, but couldn’t bear his arrogance any longer. “This is a sacred place. My ancestors built those stones.” 

“They have been made to honor Nature.” Specified Kristoff. “What do they have to do with your revenge over the Fifth Spirit?” 

“Well, this is a game-changing fight. You know my plan now, right? So you know that I want to destroy Ahtohallan and everything that the Fifth Spirit stands once and for all. What would be the point of worshipping the Nature Spirits when the person who’s supposed to bring the balance with the human world kill humans?” 

Anna clenched her jaw. “You know that your wife had it coming. She did crimes. The Fifth Spirit warned her, and yet she continued to do it.” 

Elsa turned to her with a deadly stare. The redhead understood that she had been a bit too far, and retracted a bit. However, she did not regret her words. 

The Snow Queen turned to the enemy again, focused and determined. “You will not touch a single inch of Ahtohallan as long as I stand.” 

Victor looked at her with a cruel smirk. “See, that can be arranged.” 

He flipped his arms up and two big spurts of pitch black goo jolted from it. 

Each one splitted in eight parts, and in a record time, a group of sixteen creatures emerged, forming from the slime. They all were taller than the humans, with muscular arms and solid blades as hands. As always, they had head shapes but no faces, which made the creepy atmosphere of the night even more scarier, added to the fact that they were more numerous than Elsa’s allies. 

“GO!” Shouted Victor as an order, and the monster ran to them unsteadily, their big feet splashing on the shore. 

Elsa hurried to go in front of her family and place herself first, as the first creature was jumping to slam its blade on them. With a yelping grunt, Elsa raised a giant ice stalagmite, as sharp as a razor, and it pierced right through the living thing. It tried to touch her despite being impaled, but with another yell, she pushed the stalagmite away in a new blue beam, and it jolted in the air, slamming two other monsters in one go. 

Honeymaren blinked as Elsa then crafted her ice spear back, and attacked a fourth monster that was making its way to them. She stabbed it right in the thigh, then grunted as she heavily twirled on herself with both hands on the shaft. She dragged the creature with her, and send it fly in the air with a powerful swing to slam another one. 

The Northuldra leader exchanged a stunned look with Anna, who was astonished as well. 

Did they… Even need to come to this fight? Was Elsa going to take care of everything on herself with her usual badassery? 

The blonde panted, twirling her spear, and turned to her loved ones with a huff. 

“No one harms my family.” 

Honeymaren smirked. 

“Leave some for the lowly people, my love.” 

Elsa smiled. 

A grunt on her right side took them out of their reverie. A monster was attacking Eydis and Kristoff, and they were trying to repel it. The Snow Queen frowned and was about to help them. 

Anna gave her a sign. “Wait, some are coming right at us. Let’s take care of them first.” 

The redhead ran to the monsters, her golden armor shining in the Moonlight, and slayed one in a swift move; she beheaded a second one with a brilliant twirl, her second hand on the pommel of her unique sword for faster actions. 

Honeymaren aimed at the ones on her side with quick and effective arrows. When one of them was threatening to charge at her, Elsa ran and slammed her foot on the ground, a wall of ice emerging and letting the monster splash on it with a dumb move. She rounded her creation, and while the dizzy thing tried to retrieve its form and balance, she planted it with her spear against the wall. It vanished like any the others once it got killed, and the blonde had a smirk, twirling the spear around happily. 

She saw at the corner of her eye - and almost instinctively - that a monster was about to attack Anna from behind. She focused in a frown, tossed her spear up in the air and lifted her arm to catch it with her fingers up, holding it javelin-style. She aimed, gathered momentum and threw her spear across the shore. It whistled in the air and hit the creature right in the head. With the force of the blow, it vanished before it would even fall on the pebbles. Anna finished slaying her own enemy with style, then turned around at the sound of the spear falling on the pebbles. 

She blinked in confusion, picked up the weapon, then looked at her sister in the distance. 

‘Did you just?’ She seemed to say with her amazed eyes. 

‘Saved your life? Yep.’ Seemed to answer Elsa with a grin and a shrug. 

‘Awesome’, replied Anna, and this time it was obvious because she really said that word out loud and it was easy to read it on her lips. 

Elsa outstretched her hand and the spear in Anna’s hand seemed to vibrate, like it was struggling to get out of her grasp. She unfolded her fingers, and the spear flew in the air to arrive in Elsa’s palm, then the Snow Queen made it twirl expertly, ready to attack new creatures. 

“Show-off.” Scoffed Anna. 

Elsa went to help Ryder and Eydis. They had a lot of talent and she admitted after a while that she only was there as mere support. She took that opportunity to observe the battlefield around her. 

Honeymaren and Kristoff now were taking care of Victor, the blond facing him with his axe blows while her wife aimed at him with her arrows. Only, he was crafting monsters faster than light, and they took all of the blows for him. With a smirk, he made every monster die and vanish instead of actually fighting back. 

Elsa found that utterly shameful. How could a person fitted with magic powers and able to create living beings sacrifice them like pawns, or meatshields? She frowned with disgust, not liking Victor’s ways at all. He was a disgrace to magic, and she felt the same emotion than when she had discovered her grandfather’s aversion for the Northuldra. 

Fueled by her anger, she melted her spear then threw an ice blow at him to freeze his legs, but he sensed her magic arriving so he dodged aside. Thankfully, it didn’t touch Honeymaren who was in the trajectory, because she had an excellent sight and saw the accidental blue glow arrive to her. She jumped aside to get away from it as it crashed on the shore and formed a giant snowflake trap, and meanwhile, didn’t lose time by drawing another arrow. 

Elsa was about to charge a second ice blow, and then was struck by a flashing image of the previous Fifth Spirit who had inflicted the same move to Victor when he was younger during the famous attack that haunted her. She clenched her fist, holding on her promise that she would never act like the old Northuldra leader. 

She crafted her spear again and chose to go to battle in her own style. 

She went to help Eydis with the remaining creatures that she somehow was taking care of by herself, Anna busy helping Ryder stand up after he fell during an attack. With a smile, Elsa admired her niece twirling her powerful and heavy mace around, exploding the monsters’ heads between two rolls. She was sparkling at the light of the Moon in her silver armor, and the Snow Queen was really proud of her. In a combined attack of sword and spear, Anna and her killed the last monster that Victor had created, and smiled at each other, panting. 

They finally got rid of his creatures, but everyone knew that he would create new ones without breaking a sweat. At least, Elsa was able to do so, and she was the only person they could compare him to. Might as well be careful and expect that he was as talented as her. Indeed, he had gotten rid of Kristoff and Honeymaren, and seemed ready to craft new monsters. He groaned as he lifted his palms again. 

“Block his hands!” Yelled Elsa, pointing at him. “If we block his arms, he won’t be able to make those monsters anymore!” 

Anna nodded. Her elder knew well what she was talking about. Hers and victor’s magic may be very different, it had one thing in common: their living creations were crafted with their hands.

Kristoff, who was the closest to Victor after he and Honeymaren had fallen down, frowned in determination as he jumped up, then lifted his arms to hit him. He flipped his axe in the air, aiming not with the blade side but with the hammer one, and slammed down to where his shoulder was. At such a speed and with Elsa’s unbreakable ice, he would at least dislocate it, thought Ryder, who had run to join the King’s side. However, Victor had army experience, and avoided his blow. 

“That wasn’t a really impressive attack.” Puffed the enemy with sarcasm. 

“But a really useful diversion.” Said a smiling voice behind him. 

He didn’t finish twirling around that a massive blunt weapon descended upon his arm. Victor groaned in pain when Eydis’ mace slammed him. He immediately wanted to lift his arm to push away the weapon, but Eydis’ move had been close to perfection and he couldn’t do much with the angle he now had after her blow. He tried to detached his arm from the blades and spikes, but it was impossible; first, because the fabric of his sleeve had been stuck in it, and second, because Eydis was really great at maintaining the mace in place. He tried to push her with the force of his arm, but she grinned as she easily kept him still to where he was, holding the mace with both hands. 

He blinked in astonishment. How could such a little girl have as much strength? He then realized that with the parents she had, it wasn’t surprising. He had made a grave mistake to undervalue her. Victor yelled in frustration, and was about to punch her with his other fist, but he got stuck. 

“What…?”

He turned to his other side, and came face to face with a grinning Ryder. 

“Surprise, monstermaker.” 

Victor gritted his teeth at the sight of Ryder’s staff effectively restraining her elbow and preventing him from making any move. 

He tried to get out of his trap, but it made things worse; the Northuldra had anticipated any possible parade and knew how to hold him still as well. Victor then realized that Ryder’s parade had in fact blocked his right hand. He muttered a line of insults. Seriously? The two younger opponents were the ones disabling him? Eydis smirked as she saw Victor’s despair in his eyes thanks to how close she was. With a grunt, she pushed even stronger on her mace. The Northuldra also pressed harder with his staff. Both him and Eydis couldn’t help smirking at Victor’s struggle. 

Elsa observed the scene and admitted that it was a funny situation too. She had joked earlier in the day how Ryder might be the one who would strike the final blow on Victor, because there was no way one would expect someone with the weakest weapon and the less protection to be a threat. Turned out that she was quite right. 

In fact, not even her could have predicted what was about to follow. 

Ryder changed his grip on his staff to hold the man in place, looking at the splashes of his magic on the ground. 

“You know, there’s something else that is black and that I’d love you to discover.” Grinned Ryder. 

Victor raised a surprised eyebrow at his sudden confidence. 

“Meet explosive powder.” 

The leather pouch he had at his waist, and that the old man thought was simply holding provisions, suddenly flipped upside down and opened when Ryder pulled on a string attached to it. 

Victor’s attention got brought to it and he looked down, giving exactly the intended time for the Northuldra to jump back. 

The mysterious dark powder had fell in a stack on Victor’s right boot, and he frowned as he tried to understand why Ryder had poured ground pepper on his feet. 

“EYDIS!! NOW!!” Yelled the Northuldra. 

Victor jolted his head up, and only then he noticed that the fiery princess had jumped back too. With a grin and a grunt, she lifted her mace to her vambrace covering her forearm. She turned it skillfully so that an iron blade and not an ice one would rasp against the metal part of the armor, and aimed at the stack of powder. With a scratch, a spark flew straight through the air, and Victor saw it fall with wide and terrorized eyes right in the stack of powder. 

The explosion blow was spectacular. In a deafening bang, it made Victor jolt in the air, and Ryder and Eydis got blown away for a few meters despite their safety distances. Thankfully, they fell on their backs like they had planned, loudly but without damage thanks to the pads they had placed on their outfits just for that purpose. 

One could not say the same for Victor, who got injured at the foot, and now grunted as he had trouble standing up without limping. 

Elsa blinked at what had just happened. 

“What the… Did you know they would do that?” She asked her wife, and she saw her happy smirk. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Honeymaren reached for a new arrow in her quiver, and gave her a sarcastic stare. “Well, you were busy being nerdy in Ahtohallan when we built our strategy.” 

The blonde was about to react, but she rose a hand. “Now is not the time to get teasy. Look, he’s about to blow again.” 

Indeed, Victor was clenching his fists and staring at the too-happy family of warriors facing him. 

“Okay, now I’m mad. You’ll face my wrath.” 

He was enraging. And just to make him even more angry, as he stepped forward to personally punch Ryder, an arrow planted right in front of him. 

“Make one more step and the next one goes in your knee.” Menaced Honeymaren with a cold voice. 

He looked up with a grumble and saw that she was aiming at him, her next ice arrow at the ready. During his years in the army, he had always despised archery. 

“A bow… The weapon of cowards.” 

Eydis huffed. “Says the one who uses magic from a distance!” 

“Also, with the skills that it requires to be efficient at hunting, I wouldn’t say that’s is a pathetic weapon.” Remarked Anna. 

“Yeah, my aim is quite good.” Said Honeymaren, still with her threatening eyes, but smiling internally at the words of her sister-in-law. 

She remembered a day some years ago when she had tried to teach the Queen how to use a bow. But the redhead lacked of patience and was more of the ‘attack first’ type of person. 

“Oooh, I’m so scared.” Eye-rolled Victor. 

Elsa was impressed by his assurance. This being said, he had no idea how scary a pissed-of Honeymaren could get. 

The man walked forward, and in a whistle, another arrow planted among the pebbles in front of his feet. He stopped with a grumble. 

“Yes, it will indeed start to get… Very annoying.” 

He stared at the Northuldra, and swiftly moved his right hand. A sharpened solid splurt of dark magic rose from the shore in less than a second and pierced right through Honeymaren’s hand, which she used to draw arrows. In a loud scream, she dropped her weapon and bent with a painful wince. She was bleeding abundantly. 

“MAREN!” Screamed Anna, rushing at her side. 

She grunted that she was fine, but it was an obvious lie. 

Ryder exploded of rage. “YOU BASTARD!” 

“Using big words now, ain’t we?” Puffed Victor. “Actually, you know what? This wasn’t big enough. That didn’t deserve a ‘bastard’ yet. I’m gonna hurt her more.” 

Elsa barged in between him and her wife and stared at him like her eyes came from the core of arctic glaciers itself. 

“Don’t even dare to move your hands at her one more time.” 

Ironically, she was raising glowing blue ones in his direction, and the air around them had fallen of many degrees. 

Honeymaren’s heart filled so much love that it was like all the pain and spilled blood didn’t exist anymore. She smiled at her wife’s intervention, adorable and badass at the same time. 

When Victor took a careful stop, Elsa looked behind her, still pointing at him. 

“Are you okay, Honey?” 

“Y-yeah, I think I can get over it. But you’re gonna have to do without me from now on.” 

Elsa gave a sad look to her lover’s twisted face. Ryder urged to rip a part of his tunic to craft a makeshift bandage. It stopped the bleeding for now, but would need closer inspection. 

To Victor’s ears, however, Honeymaren’s last sentence sounded like music. Yes. Incapacitate each and every ally of the Fifth Spirit so they couldn’t use their weapons. That was a clever follow-up. 

He barely flicked his wrist and a spurt of goo splashed away from his palm right towards Anna. Elsa’s eyes widened and she immediately rose a giant ice shield with a slam of the foot. 

The slime splashed on the surface, and she groaned as she turned to him again. 

“Stop that at once!!” 

Anna twirled her sword in a menacing ‘woosh’. “Oh, if he doesn’t stop it, I will make him stop. I hate surprise attacks. You’re the coward one!” 

“Coward?” Repeated Victor with a slight evil giggle. “You talked about skill earlier. Don’t you think it’s skilled that I can reach to spots… That I don’t even see?” 

He flicked his wrist again, and Anna tried to understand what he meant. Suddenly, the pebbles on her right moved in a creak sound, and dark slime gushed from the ground to splash at her arm, right at the interstice between the elbow and forearms parts of her armor. She let out a scream and a hiss at the burning pain that seized her suddenly, and dropped her sword. 

Elsa twirled around. What?? He had aimed at her even though she was standing behind her blurred ice shield? And so precisely that it went through the flaws of an armor? 

The Snow Queen started to panic as she admitted that Victor had the experience of battle, and knew exactly what to do from now on. 

“No...” She muttered, but it was too late. 

She twirled to Kristoff and Eydis, who had been standing side by side. The King had turned his head at Anna’s scream, wondering what just happened. 

“Kristoff! Watch out!!” Warned the blonde. 

It was a mistake to call him. He looked at her, wondering what the danger was, and Victor smirked. With a jolt of the wrist, he sent another spurt of dark magic to him, and it hit him at the head. 

“KRISTOFF!!” 

Anna, who had been inspecting her wound, caught up on the scene too late. Elsa, who thought until now that she had the advantage of speed, was frightened to discover that Victor was as talented as her; in a few seconds, he had harmed three persons. 

Elsa jumped over her ice shield, enlarged it without looking at it, and hurried to her brother-in-law. 

“I’m fine.” He assured, but then he grunted when he felt the pulsating pain on her skull. “I’ve got a… You know.” Maybe that a regular person would have died from such a magic blow, but he was fine. Only, he started to feel dizzy, and went on his knees, his hand preventing him from falling on the pebbles entirely. 

“Papa!” 

Elsa saw Eydis crouch next to him, but also felt at the same time magic flow through the air. Victor’s next target was her niece. Pitch black goo went to the spot between her shoulder and her neck, where she only wore a coat of mail. Elsa turned still in terror. So he had noticed every single flaw of their outfits. 

The young princess fell forward with a cry. 

“Her too?!” Yelled Ryder, like this was the last straw. “How dare you hurt a CHILD?!” 

He started to run to Victor, screaming a war shout, and the man just cackled. 

“Ryder!! NO!!” Panicked Elsa. 

Victor was faster at injuring Ryder than it would take her to raise a wall in front of him to prevent any step further. 

A slime dart splashed to his knee, and he fell with a moan to the ground. 

“NO!” Whined the blonde, seeing the worst happening, and continuing to happen. 

They were all wincing in pain and clenching their eyes shut at the horrible sensation that the dark magic made as it burnt their skin in a unique way. 

Victor laughed like a maniac. 

“You fools! You’re all like preys to me. Tiny, little, weak preys. This is just too easy when one has been practicing for years.” 

He wiggled his fingers in a ‘buh-bye’ gesture, and it both was sarcastic and meaningful. Elsa quickly understood that he was getting in the final part of his plan. Now it was only her facing him, and he knew very well that she would never dare to give him injuries like the one he struck. 

Elsa gulped. All of her allies on the battlefield were wounded, and she couldn’t even take the time to heal them; Victor now was getting all of her attention. 

“This is over, Fifth Spirit. You’ll face justice.” 

“No! This isn’t justice! This is pure and abominable cruelty!!” Blurted Honeymaren, still in pain, and accusing him through gritted teeth. 

“Shut up, Northuldra. Or I pierce your second hand. It won’t be hard.” 

Elsa frowned with rage. “Don’t talk to my wife like that.” 

She stepped forward, detaching from the others to come closer to him. Anna admired how brave and independent she was to step forward. Honeymaren didn’t like much how it made her go away from her. 

Victor raised an eyebrow as she walked for long seconds and now was away from her peers, halfway between them and him. 

“You think you can threaten me? I have weakened your family. I’m able to rip your magic out of you anytime. You’re not in a position of strength.” 

The blonde clenched her jaw. She indeed wasn’t, but had the tiny hope that he didn’t notice. Only, even if he didn’t have a strategist mind, Victor was far from dumb. He was determined, which made him a fearsome enemy. 

“That’s what makes it unfair!” Underlined Elsa. “You have this ability to rip magic out of others, and I don’t.” 

“Because you don’t want to find about this ability.” Scoffed the man. “While you were busy being lame and weak, I studied this art. But being in harmony with Nature is more important, I guess.” 

Elsa’s heart clench at that double judgement. He had demeaned both her magic skills and her job. 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve…” She hissed. 

He sighed. “Yes, a very little patience. Now I am done waiting. This delay has gone on too long.” 

He twirled his fingers, but instead of making dark slike appear there like the Snow Queen thought he would do, he seemed to gather his magic. 

Elsa quickly rose her hands in a dismissing gesture. “Victor, no. Hold on. Remember what I said: if you do that, you’ll become the very thing you hated.” 

“Don’t try to influence me!!” Yelled the man. 

“I’m only saying the truth!!” Swore Elsa. “I’ve done many mistakes in my life to advise you on that, trust me!!” 

“STOP IT!” He groaned, his fists now exuding strong energy. “I’m putting an end to the Fifth Spirit’s existence, right here and right now!” 

Elsa’s eyes widened at his brisk move, realizing he was genuinely about to do the magic pullout. She rose her arms even higher, in an imploring gesture. 

“This magic is who I am, Victor…” Confessed Elsa. 

Her sentence was so emotional that it placed them in the silence of the night for a moment. Honeymaren widened her eyes.  

“It’s part of her identity! If she loses her magic, she loses a part of herself!” She insisted. “You can’t do that!” 

“Oh, I assure you that I can.” 

He started to move his arms in a combination of moves that he had never done before, and Anna widened her eyes. She really didn’t want to see him try. 

“We have to kill him before he does it!” She yelled to her elder, desperate.

“No, no…” 

The Fifth Spirit refused to come to such an act. 

“We can’t do that!” She yelled back to Anna behind her. 

“Elsa!” Scolded Honeymaren, agreeing with her sister-in-law. “If we don’t do it now, it will be too late!!” 

The two women had been alternating their panicked gazes between the blonde and the enemy, who kept making those unique moves that really heightened the urgency. 

“ELSA!” Called their voices behind her. 

“Let me think!!” Shouted Elsa back, her closed fists trembling. 

Her breathing sped up. What to do? What to do? Victor was gathering his magic. Whatever he was preparing wasn’t bluff. The danger was genuine. 

Honeymaren didn’t like this at all. All of her instinct was screaming that this wouldn’t end well. Anna now understood why she got a bad feeling when they had come to the shore on Nokk. This was it. This was the end. 

They had lost. 

Victor retracted his fists back, his hands pouring with magic. The Snow Queen knew this posture way too well. He was about to blow a very powerful magic move. He locked his eyes with her.

“No, Victor, wait…” Begged Elsa. 

“Too late. I’ve been waiting for this moment longer than you’ve been alive.” 

He gave her a cruel look, and launched his arms forward, his palms open. Widening her eyes was the last thing Elsa could do. 

She suddenly spasmed, like she got seized by a giant invisible hand that just squeezed her whole body. Her eyes turned up and she revulsed, her breathing lost in a strangling noise, and she fainted, falling to the pebbles in a sinister sound. “ELSA!” Yelled Honeymaren. 

“NO!!” Screamed Anna. 

They both ran like hell to the unconscious body of their loved one, but Victor kept aiming and continued his process. 

A light suddenly emanated from every pore of Elsa’s skin, flashing suddenly, and the two women stopped running in a gasp, wincing as she suddenly became entirely bright white. In any other context, Honeymaren would have felt like she was blessed by the sight of an angel. But now, she screamed in anguish. 

“NOOOO!!” 

She ran to take her lover in her arms, when suddenly a shock wave blew from Elsa’s body, and she got blasted away, rejected in the pebbles violently in a backward roll. Kristoff stopped her and prevented her from a whiplash. Stunned, she tried to stand up as soon as possible to try again, determined and oblivious. Although, the wind started to rise, and became incredibly strong, making it even impossible to approach within a twenty-meter radius. 

It was like one of Gale’s tornados had been combined with the most powerful light Honeymaren had ever seen. Anna felt like she was staring directly into a lighthouse. Everyone experienced that moment differently, but all agree on one point: magic was exploding through the air, filling every possible spot. It even felt like it went everywhere and sneaked in every place; Eydis felt like it was going through her hair like rain, and Kristoff felt like it was going into his eyes like the heat of flames would do in a giant fire. 

It was intense and unstoppable. Soon they were projected even further from Elsa because the gust of magical energy started to fortify around her. Victor focused even more on the process, his arms outstretched, unreachable from where he was. The magic process started to lift the Spirit’s body from the shore, and it floated above the pebbles, soon reaching three meters high. 

“Elsa!!” Screamed Anna behind her arms, placed to avoid getting blinded by the magic beam. 

It was obvious that her sister couldn’t reply, completely unconscious. With the wind, she wouldn’t have been able to hear her anyway. 

The Snow Queen’s body flipped like a lifeless doll on a horizontal plan, and looked like she was suspended by an invisible thread that was attached to her navel. Perfectly balanced, her head, arms and legs were hanging in the air, with only her core raising to the sky. 

Then the light started to detach from her. It was no longer a figure of speech; everything that made Elsa magical was leaving her body. It elevated in swirls, packing in one spot and one sphere, and it slowly hovered to Victor. 

Elsa’s family members gasped as they guessed what it meant. The man laughed out loud in a sinister cackle, and suddenly widened his arms, his head up, like he was on top of the world. 

The bright white sphere jolted through the air and went right to his body in a second, like it had been pumped, or dragged with the force of the universe. It entered his navel, and he startled at the sensation, then laughed even more. His body shone the same way, but it faded as the magic sank into his core. 

Then, the second the light stopped emanating, Elsa’s body fell to the ground, and the magic gust disappeared. 

It was like time had suddenly stopped, and yet it hadn’t. In fact, it felt unfair that it hadn’t actually stopped. Elsa’s body had dropped to the ground, motionless, and yet the waves kept rolling, and yet the wind kept blowing, and yet the entire world didn’t come to a halt to watch the Snow Queen fall. 

A feeling of unfairness added itself to the mountain of emotions that piled in Anna’s heart. At the top, reigned terror. 

“ELSA!!” 

She ran to her elder’s still body, and kneeled heavily next to her. 

“No, gods, no…” 

She checked her state, shook her arms, yelled her name again and again… But nothing happened. Elsa didn’t respond, her face and muscles limp. 

Honeymaren dropped heavily next to her, her weapon also left behind. All that mattered now was Elsa, Elsa, Elsa. 

Their hearts squeezed with the same intensity, yet not the same reasons: Anna was terrorised, and Honeymaren devastated. 

‘No, not again… This can’t be happening… This can’t be real… This is one of those nightmares… Please, no, for the love of gods, please don’t make me go through this again. Please don’t make me live that once more. I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough. I lied each time I said I was when someone asked about that night. I’m not strong enough. I can’t face that again. Please, Elsa, wake up... ‘ Thought Anna, and tears fell heavily on her cheeks as she winced. 

‘Don’t go, Elsa, please, love of my life, please don’t leave me. I’m begging you. I’m begging the sky, I’m begging Ahtohallan, I’m begging all of Nature from the tiniest speck of dust to the tallest mountain of the world. Please, snømus, please… Open your eyes… Open your beautiful and mighty eyes… I can’t live without you. You’re my light, and I can already feel the colors of the world disappearing if you’re not here to shed light on them. Please, Elsa, wake up…’ Thought Honeymaren, her shoulders trembling, and she rubbed her eyes violently to see Elsa’s face clearly. 

But even if the blonde’s face was as graceful as usual, she did not respond. How could she be so stunning in that final moment? 

The Northuldra leader looked down at her left hand where she was holding the one of her wife. A shiver passed along her back as she looked at her ice ring. The object which held the highest importance in her life now made her feel a mix of disgust and anger. 

Her lover’s magic now was in possession of this horrible man. Everything that made Elsa who she is got stolen from her. The ring she had at her finger was now linked to the core of this monster. 

Honeymaren’s teeth gritted as she frowned, roamed with rage, and she dropped Elsa’s hand to search for her knife at her waist. She suddenly stood up, and all the calm and level-headed behavior that normally forged her personality got swept away, as powerfully as the wind in her hair. 

“YOU VILE AND SICKENING SON OF A--” 

“MAREN!” 

A strong hand held her by the crook of her elbow, and she got stopped in her run. 

“LET ME GO!” She yelled with all she could, tears falling on her face. She didn’t need to focus and erase them to know that Anna was the one who was stopping her. 

She could feel how strong yet trembling the hand was. She could feel how equally devastated the redhead was by a simple touch. Victor had harmed a wife, but he had also harmed a sister. 

When she turned to Anna, she was unable to see yet heard the sobs that agitated the Queen, who was reduced to a trembling younger sibling. 

“D-don’t become like h-him.” She begged, her voice hitched with sorrow. 

The Northuldra fell next to her, and the two women held their hands as they looked at Elsa again. The others had approached and were flabbergasted, unable to believe what was happening. 

Kristoff looked around frantically as he realized an odd detail. Nothing made out of magic ice had melted. Ice arrows were still scattered around, the ice blade of Anna’s sword was intact, and the raised shields that Elsa had made here and there were still present. More importantly, the blonde was inert on the pebbles, but her outfit hadn’t changed a bit. 

“Wait… I don’t get it… If her magic’s gone, then why are her clothes still in this state?” Muttered Kristoff. 

Eydis frowned as she thought fast. 

“The process rips her magic… So it transported it... Her magic went somewhere… But where?” 

Victor cackled evily from where he was standing. 

He flicked his right wrist, and wiggled his fingers. Snowflakes popped out of his palm. “Found it.” 

Eydis gasped. He had succeeded. 

The snowflakes twirled around his hand, and he looked at it with a satisfied expression.

“I gotta say, the sensation is quite interesting.” Commented Victor, wiggling his body as he felt the ice and snow course in his veins. 

The brunette was simply disgusted by his behavior. She couldn’t help imagining that it was like Elsa’s soul and essence was in him, and he was squirming in pleasure. It made her feel like she was watching him ravish her wife. She forced herself to focus on Elsa instead of him, holding her beloved in her arms even closer. 

“Say, is it me, or the air of the night warmed up a bit?” He asked in a playful tone. He then snapped as he understood - and his mastering of the magic wasn’t quite perfect yet, so it sparkled some snowflakes around - “Wait, I get it. It’s because of the ice and snow, right? The bender isn’t bothered by cold. That’s why I feel like there’s no more of that fresh sea breeze.” 

Honeymaren suddenly noticed something. She was too busy being heartbroken until now to see it. 

“That’s why Elsa’s body is shivering now…” She murmured, feeling the skin under her hands. 

Anna looked down at her sister’s body in alarm. Elsa was unconscious, but her body was still alive; and now it was struggling to stay so, trembling and spasming. 

“Oh my gods, because she’s wearing ice but isn’t immune to it anymore!” Gasped the redhead, suddenly struck by the horrible situation.

They all gasped. Honeymaren’s brain worked faster than light and she immediately took off a leather layer of her outfit to cover her trembling wife with it. Kristoff hurried to come closer and fell on his knees, making the pebbles creak. 

“No, no, that won’t be enough, we have to take her out of her clothes, now!” 

If Honeymaren didn’t know the King’s personality and his ice harvester experience, she would think that he was trying to bare her wife. Thankfully, it was obvious that he ordered to act urgently and do emergency procedures, just like when one of his harvesters peers had fallen through the ice of a frozen lake. 

They nodded and started to take off her crafted custom-made ice armor… And realized two seconds later that they couldn’t. All of them had tried to tug on a different part, but it was impossible to take it off Elsa’s skin. 

“I can’t detach her poleyn.” Complained Eydis with a weak and disappointed voice. “Doesn’t it have a fastening strap?”

“Where is the outline of it?” Frowned Ryder, confused. 

“There’s none.” Said Anna and Honeymaren in one low voice. 

Kristoff gulped. “She crafted it flawlessly. Each part of the armor has been tailor-made with her magic, so there’s no joint… And only her can melt them.”  

They all widened their eyes at the finding. 

“Wait… Maybe… That her ice against her ice…” Blabbered the blond man, searching for ideas as he panted in panic. He stumbled trying to get up to fetch his axe where he had dropped it, so Eydis went to it for him. She picked the axe with emotion, looking at the beautiful detailed blade. This creation probably was the last one that she will have seen her aunt make… With a sob, she gave it to his father, and he slid the blade of the axe along a piece of armor over Elsa’s chest, right above her heart, the spot they really needed to take care of first. But it didn’t do anything. Despite Kristoff’s long and strong efforts, neither the blade or the flexible plate of thick magic got scratched. His cheeks red, he was out of breath, and dropped the axe down. He gave Honeymaren the saddest eyes she had ever seen on the King’s face. 

Honeymaren gasped. “No. Nonono, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening…” 

She hovered her lover’s twitching body and rubbed as much skin as possible, at each and every spot that wasn’t covered with those ice armor parts that they all started to hate. 

“Please get warm, p-please get warm…” She mumbled, hiccups cutting her sentence because her throat tightened. Her heavy tears fell and splashed on Elsa’s pale and unconscious face. 

Ryder was devastated to observe that all colors had left the Snow Queen’s cheeks, and even her normally pink lips had turned white. But it wasn’t the beautiful snow white color that the tribe associated to the Fifth Spirit’s unique aura; it was the white of death. Elsa’s heart was slowing down and would soon stop. 

Anna clenched her teeth as her tears fell over and over. She held Elsa’s cold hand in hers and twirled to Victor. 

“PLEASE!” She implored, her voice distorted by terror. “Please do something!! Please melt it, melt the ice, or she’ll die of hypothermia!!” 

The man didn’t move an inch. 

“DO SOMETHING!!” Yelled the Queen with all the force in her lungs, or rather what remained, after she cried and screamed so much. 

She turned to clench Elsa’s arms as her elder’s body trembled from the cold and Honeymaren’s rubs, and she could feel that it didn’t change anything. Elsa’s skin was simply the coldest she had ever felt. Even during bad days when the blonde was feeling down, it hadn’t reached such a low temperature. 

“We need to try a cardiac massage.” Suggested Honeymaren, with a tone overfilled with the acknowledgement that it was useless, but she refused not to make an attempt. 

Anna gave her way so she could place herself above Elsa’s chest and along her arm, even though she knew that it was pointless as well. Indeed, when the brunette tried to start pumping up and down with her overlapped hands, she got blocked by the incredibly solid matter of the ice armor. She tried, tried and tried, with all the rage and despair she had in her soul, but it didn’t even shatter. 

She violently screamed and punched the pebbles on the shore next to her knees repeatedly. Ryder gave her a sad look and was about to put a hand on her shoulder, but Honeymaren tossed it away and bent to kiss her wife. She had meant to combine mouth-to-mouth with the cardiac massage, but the second her lips touch Elsa’s, she startled and cried at the sensation of how desperately cold they were. With trembling shoulders, she pulled back, and clenched the ice shoulder-pieces. 

She sobbed at the idea that Elsa was about to die in two minutes or so, and there was absolutely nothing they could do about it. Her heart would stop beating, her stunning energy that guided Honeymaren day and night would stop existing, her beautiful smile would never reappear on her face, and her deep azure blue eyes would never land on her again with her unique sly and quiet balance, her unique sarcastic and wise temperament. No, Elsa’s eyes would forever stay close like they were now, and her body would remain cold. And it wasn’t the gentle cold that made her who she were, that was her distinctive feature, her peculiarity that drove Honeymaren crazy in love everytime she would roam her hands along her face and body, or when they got even more intimate. This time, it was the end. It was the final cold. In a while, before the Moon even finished its course in the sky, Elsa’s last heartbeat would echo on the shore, and her soul abandon her on the dark pebbles. 

“No… Elsa… Please… Please, I’m begging you…” 

She had a wince and gritted her teeth as new tears fell abundantly from her face, falling on the cold matter of her outfit, that Elsa could no longer control. 

Anna was crying her eyes out as well, her shoulders trembling next to her, holding her sister’s arms and face as she could despite her shaking. 

Both could not see Elsa’s face anymore, because their sight was blur with tears. 

Behind Honeymaren, Ryder had crouched and was putting a hand on the brunette’s shoulder, trying to be a strong brother who would help her go through this, but he was unable to find the strength he was looking for. His hand turned into a clenching fist, holding the leather piece on Honeymaren’s shoulder and trembling as he cried as well. 

Kristoff was so shocked that tears couldn’t even come to his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was living, his head feeling like in the worst nightmare. Instinctively, he lifted his eyes to his wife, searching in Anna’s face an indication that this was all a joke. But when he saw the absolute wreck that the redhead had become, her eyes and nose running a flood of tears, his heart got split in half just as powerfully as if a sword had sliced it. A physical shock to his chest suddenly took him out of his devastated reverie; he looked down and saw that Eydis had launched herself in his lap and was curling against him, her arms around his armor. He couldn’t see her face, but there was no need. Her tiny silver spaulders were shaking in sorrow and he could feel her gloved fingers dugged in his back. The top of her dutch braids was shivering as she had her forehead against him. With all the might he could assemble, he bent down and kissed his daughter’s head, passing a hand along her locks to calm her. 

However, he knew that no one in the family, no one among them five, would ever get over what had just happen, and what was about to happen. 

Victor stared at the scene with a mute expression. He was silent during all of his sobbing. He was intrigued. 

But what he didn’t understand wasn’t the behavior they had around Elsa’s body. What he didn’t understand was the feeling he was having. 

What was this sensation? Was it… Sadness? No, it couldn’t be. Why would he feel sad for the Fifth Spirit’s death? He had everything he needed! He got her powers, he now was unstoppable, she would soon die and he could even depart for Ahtohallan right now. His plan was complete. His revenge was triumphant. He was the victorious one. 

Then, how come he didn’t move? Why couldn’t he go? What was stopping him? 

Victor was paralysed by this sensation. He even wanted to grunt at this unknown thing stopping him, but he didn’t find the strength to do so. Then it hit him; he was compassionate. 

‘What the hell…’ He thought. ‘Why am I having pity for those losers? I am the victorious one. I won. I avenged Niks.’ 

He stared at the trembling family once again. 

‘Then why am I feeling sadness? Is it sadness? Or is it… Something else? Is it… Worse?’ 

He couldn’t move, still trying to pinpoint this sensation. 

He was in denial. He refused to admit that Elsa and the Fifth Spirit he had met were two different persons, with different lives, and who made different choices. They didn’t have the same personalities, they didn’t have the same intentions. Yet he rejected the idea that he couldn’t avenge Niks by hurting her. 

He was angry. Fueled by rage. Each of his attacks until now had been with the mental image of his wife in mind. She would pay for all his suffering. 

He was bargaining. A life for a life. That was the plan. Once the Fifth Spirit magic becomes his, this vendetta will be fair. That murderer will have what they deserved. 

He was depressed. Those last years had been horrible to him, and took him down mentally and physically. Every time he closed his eyes at night, he thought of his wife. There was no way to dismiss it. 

But he wasn’t accepting. He never accepted that Niks died. All he ever wanted for so many years since her death was to avenge her. It was what fueled his life, what dictated his acts, what made him go forward in life. 

Then why were they all kneeled on the shore around her still body? Why didn’t then want to kill him? Why didn’t they react the same way than he did? 

The Queen had stopped the Northuldra leader to prevent her from giving in to temptation. But this was long ago now. The Northuldra wasn’t held by the monarch anymore. She could totally stand up and run to him and grab her dagger to cut his throat. She could even simply run and punch him in the face. But she didn’t why. Why didn’t she? None of them was retained by the other. Why was none of them avenging her, for heaven’s sake? If he were them, he would already have taken advantage of the enemy’s presence at the scene-- Yet that was it. He wasn’t them. 

They weren’t murderers. They didn’t have crime in their list of solutions. They didn’t plan to kill him. In fact, he realized, they would never plan to kill him, even after the Fifth Spirit’s death. 

“Elsa.” Said the echo of the Queen’s voice in his mind. “Her name is Elsa.” 

Victor was struck by the vision of this family. They never considered murder. That simply wasn’t who they were. They were peaceful, they were pacifists. None of them even had their heads turned to him. He could even attack them by surprise and stab them all with ice impalements like his wife had been killed, and yet they wouldn’t even mind. ‘Let it be so’, they would surely say. 

His knees buckled. 

When he slammed the pebbles, the noise attracted Anna’s attention, and she turned weakly to him. She rubbed her eyes to stop seeing blur and watched Victor. Her eyes widened when she saw that he was seated on his heels, his shoulder slumped, his hands on the ground along his thighs like a disjointed puppet. 

His hands, of a power yet phenomenal, that could snap the whole Forest out of existence if he intended to. On the ground. 

She blinked in confusion. Was he… Was he devastated? What had happened? 

“Victor?” 

The redhead surprised herself at her own voice. Her subconscious seemed to have been the one calling for his name, because she didn’t even remember her brain forming the question. Her tone had been calm, soft, gentle even. She was about to ask ‘Are you okay?’, but forbid herself to pronounce those words, repelled by her own intentions. Was she feeling bad for him now? Wait, what?? 

Because he looked so sad. He looked like his wife had just died a second time in front of his eyes. It was like… 

Gears clipped together in Anna’s brain. 

He had realized that he was inflicting the same thing that the previous Fifth Spirit had inflicted on him. 

“She was right…” He muttered, so far and nearly imperceptibly that Anna almost didn’t hear. “I have become the very thing I hate…” 

They exchanged a gaze, Victor’s eyes now locking with her. 

“Wait… Are you about to…” 

He nodded, and stepped forward. The Northuldra leader’s protective instinct made her protect her lover’s body with an almost predatory snarl. 

Victor rose innocent hands, stepping slower. 

“STAY BACK!” Shrieked the brunette. 

“No, Honeymaren, wait!!” 

“What?!” She blurted, annoyed that Anna prevented her from doing what she wanted. 

“He’ll give her magic back.” 

The Northuldra leader blinked. The others did as well. 

“What did you just say?” 

“He’s bringing her back to life. He’s giving her magic back.” 

Kristoff looked at his wife sadly. “Anna, surely you’re delirious. He only wants to finish the job--” 

“Trust me.” 

“What, you have faith in him now?”

“I can tell that he has changed. I can feel it in my guts.” 

“...What?”

“Why is he gesturing us to move aside, then?” Groaned Ryder, watching his moves. 

“He needs space to do it, just like when he… Just like when he ripped it off her. We have to stand back.” 

Honeymaren’s chestnut eyes turned to fire. “I am not leaving her side.” 

“Maren, I swear that it’s the most difficult thing to do for me as well right now. But I’m begging you. I’m begging you all.” She said on a higher voice, addressing to her family. “Let’s get out of the way. Elsa will be fine. I know she will. I promise.” 

They all seemed suspicious, but slowly changed their minds. Her daughter lifted her small face to her, still covered with tears. 

“P… Pinky promise?” 

Anna looked down at Eydis, and smiled as widely as she could while she held her chin up. “Pinky promise.” 

It took a while, but they finally all stepped away from Elsa’s unconscious body. Victor respected the time it took them to take the distance he indicated, and they moved reluctantly because it was even larger than they thought. He stayed silent until they were all in good positions and he was certain that they wouldn’t get hurt. 

“That will be enough.” 

They turned to him. 

“You don’t need to go further. You’re out of the radius now, it’s fine.” 

Honeymaren blinked in astonishment. He truly cared? She could see it in his features, she could hear it in his voice. He wasn’t tricking them. He genuinely cared about their health. She was stunned by the change in his behavior. Did he come to his senses? 

“Cover your eyes.” He advised. 

They all obeyed, except for Honeymaren, who was staring right at him. He opened his mouth to repeat, but she struck her sentence faster. 

“I am not leaving my eyes out of you.” 

He had a sigh and a sad smile. “Alright.” 

She kept staring at him while he did the same moves with his arms than what he did earlier, only this time on reverse. He focused deeply on what he was doing, joining his hands just in front of his navel. Briskly, he parted them and even jolted his arms open, both outstretched on each side, forming a cross with his body. A bright light parted from him and went in a straight line right to Elsa’s body. It was dazzling and blinding, but Honeymaren didn’t care. She willingly accepted to lose her sight to make sure that Victor was bringing Elsa’s magic back to her. 

Somehow, the light of the transfer this time seemed even brighter than before. Eydis moaned in pain at the light and winced as she stepped back. Ryder placed a hand above her face to protect her as he was also looking away to avoid burning his eyes. 

The process was longer than when he ripped Elsa’s magic in the first place, and Anna interpreted from it that it was always more difficult to return what was stolen. Just like it was harder to fix a vase after breaking it than when one bumped it off the table. 

It took a long time, and the redhead eventually closed her eyes in impatience, clenching them shut. When suddenly, the light stopped. She blinked as she looked around them. The shore had been plunged in the dark of night again, the Moon calmly shedding light on them. 

As she tried to understand where everyone was standing because her eyes had trouble switching from the high brightness to the dark of night, she heard a loud gasp from the ground. 

Elsa gasped like she had been underwater for years and finally had reached the surface. She then breathed in pants as her heart picked up to its normal place and her blood rushed in her veins through her whole body. Her organs felt like they were on fire, and her limbs were both dizzy and buzzing with a sensation of pins and needles. Spasming, her palms slammed the pebbles and her fingers clenched on them. She continued to gasp and sat up in utter confusion of what had just happened. 

“ELSA!!” 

The familiar voice echoed in the night, and she blinked as she tried to find where her wife was possibly standing. Suddenly, fast noises of a run on the pebbles came closer and closer to her. She barely had the time to turn to where it was from when something very hard and very wet tackled her body and slid along her cheek. She recognized who it was by the way she cried, and the natural scent of her skin and hair combined with the familiar smell of the leather of her outfit.   

Elsa’s brain didn’t fully grasp why she was holding her so warmly, but she instinctively wrap her arms around her as she caught her breath. Honeymaren abruptly pulled back to hold Elsa’s face and look at her with a tearful grin. She lovingly sighed, then slammed her lips on hers. The Snow Queen widened her eyes at the deep and powerful kiss. It was full of emotion, and intense in every way. However, Elsa couldn’t enjoy it much. She already had troubles breathing, so a kiss wasn’t really the smartest move. Unwillingly, she pushed away Honeymaren’s shoulders to detach her from her face. After a big gasp, she gave her a regretful wince, then coughed as she tried to retrieve oxygen. 

“Sorry… Just... “ She gestured to her mouth, struggling to make words. “Need air...” 

Honeymaren had a wet chuckle and sniffed as she nodded. “Yeah. I understand. I’m the one who’s sorry for jumping on you like that. Take your time.” 

Elsa breathed as much as she could, when suddenly something else ripped out some of the air she had managed to put in her lungs; the brisk and powerful hug that held her from behind, with arms tightly crossing her chest, was unmistakable. 

“Anna?” She said in a croak voice, blinking. 

What happened? Was she okay? Victor had aimed at her, she got hurt, she fell, but it actually didn’t to anything? Were they this glad because it didn’t work? 

The redhead sobbed of happiness next to her ear. Elsa’s eyes widened at the familiar sound. Last time she had heard that kind of sobbing...

Hold on a minute, how long was she unconscious? 

“Hey, hey… I’m okay…” She muttered, assembling all her forces to reassure her little sister, and she stroked her hair as she felt her face on her shoulder. 

As a response, Anna clenched harder in her embrace, but thankfully her arms had gone higher, so Elsa was able to breathe normally. 

She stared in silence as Kristoff and Eydis ran to her and gave her blessed and incredibly relieved smiles, and Ryder fell to his knees next to her niece to sob loudly in happiness. 

What the heck had happened? How much time had passed? 

She looked around, a bit blocked by Honeymaren in her lap and Anna holding her still with her strong hug, to check the Moon and the tide and try to understand how long she had been taken away from them. 

When Elsa scanned the shore, her eyes landed on a man figure, and they widened when she saw that it was Victor. However, her expression changed when she saw his posture, and that’s why she didn’t recognize him immediately. He had one knee down and the other up, and he was struggling to stand up. That posture was familiar: Elsa was in the same state when she used a lot of her magic in one go and started to feel drowsy from it. What did Victor just do? Why was no one keeping an eye on him? 

“Guys… Look out…” Warned Elsa, nudging the people around her so they could turn towards the enemy. 

Anna crouched next to her and she could finally see her face. Her young sister looked at Victor, but to Elsa’s biggest surprise, she was neither frowning or worried; she was smiling? In… Gratitude? 

Surely she was delirious. The Snow Queen turned to her wife, and was stunned to see the same expression on Honeymaren’s face. 

The redhead turned and gave a squeeze to her shoulder. 

“How are you feeling?” 

Elsa blinked. “Uh… Good. Great.” 

Honeymaren smiled. “Can you feel your powers?” 

She frowned, clueless of what those questions were leading to. She looked down at her hands, folding then unfolding her fingers. She felt magic coursing through her veins, like usual. She pushed magic through her fingertips, and made some snowflakes fly around. 

“Yeah, I think so-- Wait a minute.” 

Her eyes widened, and Honeymaren grinned. 

Anna’s hand passed along her back. “He saved your life. He gave your magic back.” 

Quiet in disbelief, she joined them as they all looked over to where Victor was now standing, limping a bit because of his injured ankle. He didn’t dare to look at them, but finally did after a few seconds, noticing that all eyes were on him. His gaze met Elsa’s, and their eyes locked for a moment. She inspected him, dubious. Victor looked sorry, and sincere. The blonde blabbered in astonishment. 

“You… You did? You retrieved the magic, despite everything?”

“You were right.” He smiled sadly. “Killing you would have made me become the very thing I hate. And it wouldn’t have made me better than him. Revenge would never have. It doesn’t heal. Healing comes with love. So I reversed the transfert. You deserve it better than me.”

He stayed there, defeated and still, ready to receive his sentence. 

Anna slowly stood up, and smiled at him. 

“Thank you.” 

#whoof that was a huge milestone #and it took all my soul to write it waow #all the drama and the angst in it... dayum i got exhausted #but i'm happy with the result #leave a comment while you reblog! ;D #thank you for the support and love so far you guys are super cute #i'm having tons of fun in this fanfic #so many chaps to go still lol #this only is barely the half of the fic hahah #frozen 2 #lift the spirit #frozen #post frozen 2 #elsamaren #frohana #kristanna #ice bros #snow sisters #frozen 2 fanfics #frozen fanfictions #disney #disney ff #justlookatthosesausages #jlats

[sneakymalou]

The one where you are in labor and he helps you (maybe this time hop comes to see the baby(ies) afterwards)

Tumblr did cancel it I'm afraid ! 🥺🥺 You were right to send another one, sorry for the delay sweetie 🥰 Wish you a Merry Christmas ! ❤

Leon x reader

This night was a rough one. The worst in your life, probably. In the middle of a meeting with your man, your waters broke, turning the whole crowd in a giant mess. If you didn't have Leon, your labor would also have been a mess. Thankfully, the galarian champion made everything he could to help you, winning another title right in front of you : this night, he had been your champion. Your man. Even if all taxis were occupied and no one could take you to the hospital, Leon carried you outside and you both flew in the back of his Charizard... your other hero. Thankfully again, a physician was available to help you during the delivery, which had began a long time ago. Your baby was ready to come to this world, and you must be prepared for it.

It took hours. Of course, it was your first child and you were aware it could take time. Leon didn't stop to squeeze your hand, helping you in any ways he possibly could. When you both heard a baby's cry, you saw your man crying for the first time. It was the most beautiful thing you ever saw, but it wasn't the last. If you gave birth to a gorgeous and healthy baby boy, your contractions didn't stop one bit. You started to worry as the pain grew stronger, and the physician didn't help you relax : another baby was coming. No ultrasound revealded the presence of a twin baby, but you had to push nonetheless. The surprise was huge but you gave birth to a second angel, a sweet baby girl, a few minutes later. And there you rested, Leon carrying your little boy while you hugged your little girl. You had only one name, for one baby... “You never cease to surprise me, my love !” you man claimed, tears humming his eyes.

You were so tired you couldn't respond, a smile was your only answer. Your champion took some time to warn everybody, including his brother, Hop. The trainer said he was close by, and decided to pay a visit to see this beautiful surprise with his own eyes. And he did... the minute Leon was back in your room, his brother knocked at the door. “Well, well ! You did a good job, didn't you !” You always liked Hop. It was you who proposed him as the godfather of your baby. Now you were the mother of twins, and you didn't realize it quite yet. “You're sweet, Hop... and thank you for visiting me, I'm moved. That's a reason good enough to be the godfather of one of the twin !” you giggled, still very tired. But you didn't mind at all. Seeing your champion and his brother cuddling the babies was cute enough to keep you awake. You couldn't take your eyes of Leon, craddling your little princess with such kindness you could've imagine he was meant to be a daddy. “I love you...” you whispered at his ear, kissing his cheek while your baby girl curled her hand around your finger. “Now my two genuises, how do we call this little princess ?” you asked, happy to make Hop participate.

“What's the baby boy's name ?” your brother-in-law asked, curious. After all he had the baby boy in his arms, and he was the first born. “His name's Hop. My goddess suggested it, and I loved the idea...” Leon said while kissing your forehead. Hop was blushing for the first time in ages, proud of this great honor beyond any compare. “Hop... waow, I can't wait to be your godfather, we're gonna be partners in crime ! Imagine... me offering you your first pokemon... Bro', can I give him a wooloo already or is it too soon ?” You all laughed at his question, convinced he would give him a wooloo anyway, no matter your answer. And he did... between your two surprised faces. This baby boy was going to be the most cherished baby in the world, and your little princess was going to be her daddy's angel. For sure, Leon would give her a charmander to do the pair... as for you, you were full of love, and began to understand the most important word of your life : family.

#leon #leon pokemon #champion leon #leon x reader #leon x you #leon x hop #brothers #pregnancy fic #pregnancy #baby fic #baby boy #baby girl #pokemon headcanons #pokemon imagines #pokemon #leon pkmn #leon swsh #pokemon swsh #switch #pokemon sword and shield #imagines #imagine blog #imagine #character headcanons #character request #champion #pokemon fic #fic ideas #fan fic #fic writing

[softshouyous-archive]

13, 15, 20 for the furuba asks :')))

oh hello!!!!!!!! (this one is long so i put it under a read more hjgfgfdghf)

13. favorite friendship/non-romantic relationship?oh my GOD please don’t get me started okay okay i’m gonna list a few and ramble because i am suddenly in a !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mood

-hana, uotani, and tohru: HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love these three sooooo much omg i’m gonna cry!!!!!! they all love and care for each other so much ))): tohru went through living in a TENT in the mysterious WOODS with typhoons,,,,,, because she cares about hana and uotani so much that she didn’t want to burden them??? i can’t say it was a great choice because !!! the girls want !!! to help her and it hurt them knowing that they weren’t able to help her ))): during the ep when they visited the sohma household and they were talking about how much they care about tohru and how they want to be there for her...... my heart exploded T___T and also i love ??? that they make it a point for tohru to often talk about how much she loves her friends you know !!!! like i love how open she is about how much she loves them ))))))): and also i’ve talked about this like 8930483x but when they visit kyoko’s grave and hana’s all like ‘i don’t know what i would do if tohru passed away. the pain would be so great that i would wish that we would have never met’ hello,,,, im going to die,,,,,,, oh and ALSO when the fan girls go to her house and the ep ends with her saying that with love comes weakness and that tohru is hers,,,,,,,, omg and when uotani talked about her struggles and how kyoko and tohru saved/helped her,,,,,, i..... Goodbye Everyone This Has Been A Wonderful Life 

-kakeru and yuki: okay i ship them as friends and non friends but also . i know like 5 things about them BUT i really love their dynamic from what i’ve seen so far so -HARU AND KYO: i almost wrote hatori and then i almost forgot haru’s name omg someone help donate some memory cells please,,,, but anyway omg their fight was so hfdjghdfjg and also i just love their bickering they’re soooo dumb omg

-mabudachi disaster: they’re stupid and as you can tell i love stupidity but also press f for hatori 

-tohru and yuki: oki unpop opinion time i used to actually ship them GDFJGLDF but now i see that they don’t have that type of relationship ghjdfkgf i’ve seen people discuss how their relationship is more of like . tohru is the Mother Figure yuki never had and i think that’s sweet ))): i really loveeeeee how she’s slowly helping him realize things about himself and become a better ??? (idk if that’s the word) person and he’s improving himself more,,,,, like !!!!!! at the garden, when he decided to play rich man poor man with her and her friends,,,,,, and that he’d work on himself,,,,,,, emo 

-haru and yuki: OKAY LAST ONE HHH okay okay like . i’m emo !!! because i feel like haru can pick up on yuki’s feelings?? like in the last episode, when momiji, haru, and tohru were talking at school, yuki passed by and haru like almost immediately knew why he was upset and had hatori bring ayame back home ghdjfgf 

it’s also sweet to see how much haru cares about him ))): like when yuki was sick he like ran immediately to him and gave him his jacket thing ))): omg and also that one flashback from when they were younger,,, that GOT ME!!!! was that in the 01 version bc i honestly do not remember that,,,, but anyway that scene had me 0000: like i feel like it really really sucks that adults are always talking crap about the kids like !!!!!! hello !!!!! do not gossip ??? esp in front of kids like,,,, your brain is free, use it????? like it was extremely upsetting to see that false assumptions affected haru when he was younger (understandably so) and it made him super resentful towards yuki ))): and it broke my heart when he lashed out at him,,,,,,,,,, it made me so sad to think about how that affected yuki, esp with everything else he had going on you know )): but like i don’t blame haru because he was a kid !!! 0: but what really got me !!!!!!!! was that yuki asked haru if he really believed that he was stupid (like ppl said) and haru had that 0: moment like . i really love that yuki said that instead of idk getting into a fight with haru. he instead was like well ???? is that what You think ??? and he really opened things up for haru and had him come to his own realization (??) and acceptance,,,, Cry Time

15. which character do you think you’d most likely be friends with?oooo omg i’d love to be friends with tohru, kyo, yuki, hana, and uotani!!!! i love them 20. any hot takes (about a character, the series in general, the fandom, etc.)?o hm i don’t really have that many but i think one ?? i don’t know if it counts,,, but it’s that i don’t,,, think what akito has done can ever be forgiven and i don’t think i’ll ever like her ://// though even with that said, i do Understand that there are layers and reasons to why she did what she’s done (i haven’t read the manga but i’ve seen people talk about things) so i do feel bad for her 0: but also like.... i don’t know like the stuff she’s done to everyone are pretty...... terrible. like just thinking about kyo, hatori and kana, and yuki alone....... all the things that happened to them are bad enough. ))): though even though i feel this way, i’m not def not going to shame or side eye anyone who likes her or thinks her chara is interesting !! 

waow oki this is ....... very long.... gfdkjghdfkjgdf well thank you for sending this in, i really appreciate it!!! i hope you have a wonderful day

#long post #anonymous #lovemail