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quarktrinity · 5 months

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quark watches star trek season 1 episode 29

oh cool this is the last episode of season 1

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk

weirdly colorful star map

why do they call other ships "he" i thought ships were girls

hey wasnt warp factor 8 super dangerous are we just cool with that now

kirk determined to save other ship flying into the sun i love this dude

some cryptic shit

k that dudes dead. bye

omg jims brother is on this planet :0

i just called kirk jim. i didnt even think about it. oh god.

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk... 2!

kirk wants to see his family :(

this planet looks like the mopop in seattle. if u get it u get it

kirk looks nauseous with emotional vulnerability

insane violent dudes

omg they actually stunned them for once

something fucked ups going on here

kirk please you cant keep plunging crying womens faces into your tits eventually one of thems not gonna be cool with it

kirks brother is dead???

hahahahah he looks exactly like him

yeah hes dead

his nephews ok though

spock uses comfort! its not very effective. can they make out now

alright kirk you can do this. dont seduce your sister in law. i believe in you

her names aurelan im not sure thats a real name

aurelan dont make those noises

what are you talking about

this actress is determined to sound overwhelmingly horny when shes supposed to sound upset

some weird brain shit going on

"they"

evil brain creatures doing evil brain things to build ships?

horniest scream ive ever heard

uh rip aurelan i guess. congrats kirk you got through an episode with a hot girl without making out with her

kirk status: Repressing Sadness

are the aliens bees. they sound like bees

oh GOD

theyre like flying manta rays oh jesus. ok thats fucked

they look silly as shit but also the direction lets them be terrifying

SPOCK GOT MANTA'D

oh shit i think its in his brain

this is gonna be gay isnt it

anyone who thinks mccoy isnt kinda gay for spock is stupidly wrong

eugh its all up in his bod

alright theyre a little like bees

fight it spock fight it

"locate and restrain mr spock" very normal of u to say kirk

kirk pins spock to the floor. ok

i got bingo

spock u good

"i will be able to return to duty" i dont believe you

spock says i can just turn off my pain

"i need you, spock" DO YOU NOW, KIRK?

spock youre so possessed rn

yes scotty threaten his life

spock has Determination

"i am in complete control of myself, doctor" NO YOURE NOOOOT

kirk no dont believe him i know youre in love but you gotta use your brain i know you have one

sigh. ok spock try ur best to resist the evil brain things i guess

they look like those things from half life

theres so many oh god

cmon spock u got this

grabs u with my pinchers

mission successful thank god. manta ray thing kidnapped.

spock says fuck my own needs i am Useful

its a giant brain cell? thats super cool ngl

a lot of these aliens have really cool concepts and still look silly as shit

more mcspock sexual tension

kirk says computers good this time

"your affection for spock" DUDE

to spread brainpox or commit genocide. that is the question. kirk says no

star trek doesnt know that light is radiation

kill the brain mantas with light. ok

sorry we might have to blind you to free you from brain disease

spocks blind now

"these creatures are sensitive to light which we cannot see" you have described radiation. you said you tried radiation and it didnt work. dont do this to me

sorry spock we didnt need to blind you. its ok though he forgives us anyway

ULTRAVIOLET? THEYRE WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET???? DO THEY KNOW THAT ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT EASILY BLINDS YOU????? DO THEY KNOW HUMANS ARE ALSO WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT??????? DO THEY KNOW THAT THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT RADIATION IS OH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND

exposing the entire planet to a giant blast of ultraviolet light is extremely dangerous and im not sure they know that. theyre gonna be so sunburned so many of them are going to get skin cancer

ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT ISNT RED

ugh. ok i guess the brain things are dead anyway. whatever

mcspirk is so real and true

spocks not blind anymore. hes fine now. vulcan stuff

"my first sight was the face of dr mccoy bending over me" WHAT

"tis a pity brief blindness did not increase your appreciation for beauty, mr spock" WHAT????????

MCSPIRK IS SO REAL AND TRUE

#quark watches star trek #star trek #star trek tos

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freakattack · 6 months

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i just realized that you're the person that makes those warioware comics that i like! idk how it took me so long haha but i really enjoy your art and i appreciate even more the fact that you like my mike playlist :)

AW THANK U!! Im so flattered you like my comics i love makin them so im always happy when others enjoy them too. I didnt even realize the connection at first i just saw johnny b goode and was like wow this guy gets it....WAIT A MINUTE! But in a good way. I appreciate how mnay daft punk songs you gave him because its so true. he is doin it right. I also saw your orbulon playlist and am so happy that you also gave him the songs i did too because they make me GO INSANE not just because i like them or because i think everyone should listen to kraftwerk and YMO for ghe rest of their lives but also because farewell + the gonzo song particularly make me feel orbulon emotions. My favorite song you gave him is "we're finally landing" because it gives me similar emotions and also because ive never heard it before now but it is very good. "Bright lights in silent rooms" is also a great song i dont know if this was intentional but the title reminds me of "empty house" from his records in diy. Also "puzzle" by the same artist LOL........he does love his puzzles

EDIT: I just saw your tags LOL im so glad my playlist was inspiring because i made it in a lab i am so picky and uptight about PLAYLISTS so im happy that it passed the "vibe check" as it were. Mike loves rock and roll. Also you know whats so funny is i found U.F.Orb via searching for the word "orb" i dont know how or why the universe decided to allow these stars to fall into place but it did and its beautiful becayse now The Orb is one of my favorite bands. I love weird ambient computer sounds. The magic and the mystwry of looking up your favorite character in spotify search

WARIO MUSICERS UNITE💪‼️

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ultimatefartwizard · 24 days

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Agonies of a Late Homestuck Reader Pt.3

Wiz is here for the hell that is this work, and now we start off with Act 2, we begin with a mysterious vagabond wandering a desert. He like... finds this underground bunker type thing with a lid that has the same symbol as the cruxtruder? Quite interesting!

Jumping back to John, since he seems to now be in like floating purgatory type situation yet alive and well.... as well as a just now 13 year old boy can be after just nearly dying from a meteor hurdling towards him and his father's house.

Am I insane and used RPGmaker XP too much? Or does the wind sound in it sound like one of the wind effects RPGmaker XP use (specifically using it as an example as I've never used other rpgmaker programs)

I downloaded Ruffle (a in-browser flash player replacement) to circumnavigate the "flash player no longer supported" issue since I wanted a true genuine experience as it was intended, and thankfully it works! For those wanting Ruffle, you can find it -HERE-

I played the segment with John looking around his house, and was amused by this sort of omnipotent narrator type character (soon revealed to be the vagabond, having gone down into the bunker and is using a computer to communicate) that would order commands at him and just call him "BOY."

Various Vagabond antics; makes me think of how Kratos calls his son "boy" continually in Ragnarok.

As I further mucked about, John's father seems to be missing and some sort of oil substance is everywhere. I originally thought his father got whole ass slaughtered and had him bleed out like a pig, thankfully not... maybe? I haven't read far enough yet.

I immediately thought of John Kramer talking through Billy the puppet when I read this clicking on the cabinet. And considering the species of "Cherub" in Homestuck is based on the puppet, I wouldn't put it past Hussie to make a (slightly butchered) reference.

John talks to Dave, and.... well I won't show the image of the exact things he says when he starts rapping cuz 1. I can't put a clickable censor on images and 2. not comfortable posting that but OH MY GOD. HUSSIE... HUSSIE! NO STOP HUSSIE DONT WRITE THAT YOU ARE WHITE OH MY GODDD.... DON'T MAKE THAT CHILD SAY SUCH THINGS AND MAKE MORE WEIRD AND BORDERLINE RACIST COMMENTS.... Why are you obsessed. Why are you especially obsessed with black presidents and, in conjunction, Obama??? Do you have some sort of weird crush on this man because you think about him too much. (joking around with myself to save my sanity, im dying here, also note i feel these negative ramblings are important especially when looking at this piece of media in a critical light)

Please I pray the comments like this calm down... though knowing the later stuff ik Hussie doesn't stop being weird or finds new ways to be gross and weird. I also made the mistake of reading the "sweet bro and hella jeff" comic Hussie linked on Dave's segment and my god this explains the later incident with..... a certain Homestuck 2 character. DO NOT READ THAT FOR YOUR SANITY BTW.

Back onto the story itself, watching Dave manage his sylladex and how his captchalogues/uncaptchalogues stuff makes me realize how stupidly complex his is, and it's the most complex thus far. I still don't understand it but that's for another time for rambles. Also rather curious out of the three revealed human children so far he's the only one who's not apprehensive to his family member's collection of themed stuff; in this case, it's his brother's puppet collection. I swear to god there's got to be some sort of underlying reason for these, there's no way that these are all presented to the reader and somehow don't have any strong significance or meaning.

It cuts over to Rose again, who's trying to get out to the generator in the rain so she can boot up her computer to pair up with John again and escape certain doom due to a meteor shower hitting the forest she lives in and is engulfed in flames. She seems to have a lot of contempt for her mother, not sure if it's the same back towards her but they are noted to have some sort of one-uping competitions. Both John and Rose seem to compete with their parents while Dave nods and seeminly respects his brother's stuff, which is interesting and definitely will try to investigate this phenomenon as I read.

I leave off on page 374, certainly to return later for more reading! -Wiz

#ultimatefartwizard #wizardyaps #homestuck #homestuck related #john egbert #dave strider #rose lalonde #agonies of a late homestuck reader

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strawberrycircuits · 1 year

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quite literally every detail i could find on my own on the welcome home website that isnt explicitly related to any of the arg elements

keep in mind im on mobile, which we know causes some things to shift around, so if anyone who has access to a computer wants to add or correct anything, be my guest

- on the GIF of Frank's head rotating on the About Us page, there are these books that seem to say "HELLO. Its You Know Who?...... I'm Your Neighbor. Do you talk about me? You do. I see you." The red book at the bottom does not seem to have any legible text on it.

-In the about page, the question of what the owners favorite puppet is is as follows: "Everyone on our team has their favorite, but if you ask me, mine is Wally Darling! He is the most, as he would say." this implies that "__ is the most" or something similar is a catchphrase of sorts for Wally, which provides content for the "That's the most." image of him on Clown's website.

-as a lot of us know, the text in response to the "Why did you make this website?" question on the about page has some obscured text. if anyone wanted to know what was under this text, the passage is as follows:

"I hoped this website would grab the attention of someone who has seen this show before and could tell us about it. If this wasn't possible, then we wanted to be the first to showcase this lost piece of media to help spur on the search for its existence. Many of our guest book signatures have talked about seeing this show before, so this is a good sign. It mean it is inside of you too, then. Does it hurt?"

its worth noting that while the "it means it is inside of you" isnt hidden, the "does it hurt?" only shows up if you highlight the passage. also means is misspelled on the site but clown is 1 person doing all of this so dont be mean about it lol

-there is actually a good bit of hidden text in the about page. at the end of the "how many episodes are there?" portion, it reads "The numbers are so hard to read. Sometimes I can’t see them." and at the end of the "how did you begin your research into welcome home?" one, it reads "We are thankful to be the first to jump start this journey! But it hurts."

-on the first piece of restored and recovered materials, the newspaper clipping has some small text at the bottom. the most interesting thing to me is that wally comes with the Home playset

-in this drawing, you can see a painting of spirals (which we know wally loves to draw..) in the background, at Julies feet.

-this page has text on the side! while the majority of it is seemingly indescipherable (codebreakers please look at this), the bottom part does spell "Hello you," with a W at the end. almost like a signature. theres also a backwards "wait" in there but im not sure if that was intentional.

also, speaking of odd text, the way that "lovely eat" is spelled here feels off too.

-wallys hand (presumably) is present in this shot of a book page (which like. side note. who the hell is speaking in this. why does wallys response make no sense. wtf is up w that). similarly, on the page of wally reading a book and barnaby asking about it, the book wallys reading portrays the exact same scene currently taking place. somethings going on with wally and books! (theres also a weird layering effect with the text in the latter scene, and its worth noting that when barnaby asks if hes started reading books now, wally sas "no, just the one." maybe these are the same book??)

-on the links page, the banner that cycles thorough all the characters seems to linger on wallys for a moment longer.

-a lot of the content involving home and wally (particularly when hes staring right at you...) has home staring at Wally (i.e. the front page, the "There he is!" image) but it seems like home doesnt do the same for the other characters. pretty intriguing when you remember the "so below" page......

-also, ronald dorelaine is mentioned as the potential creator of the show. i just wanna point out that "dorelaine" sounds sort of similar to "darling," like its a bastardized form of the same word.

-the restored page displayed in the about section actually has text on it! it seems to say that Julie has two sisters and one brother, and it seems to imply that her family only consists of these siblings. theres more info about this in the news portion of the page, though. there is also a gloved hand, which i initially mistook for felt.

also, notice that the image has been destroyed primarily with paint, and with primary colors no less. i mean.. wally IS a painter, and his own colors seem to derive from the primaries, so i wonder if this implies that its him trying to destroy things? and if so, whos trying to bring them back? my moneys on eddie, since the about page says theyve been receiving materials in "brightly colored envelopes"

-Home seems to be in the windowsill of eddies post office.

-the file name for the front page image depicting wally is titled HELLO_edited.png, which might be another instance of wally reaching out to us through the file names.

-theres a counter at the bottom of the front page, too, which all the characters are looking at. if anyone can figure out wtf that means itd be appreciated. ((edit: its a view counter. <3))

ok thats all back into my pit i think <3

#welcome home #wh #welcome home arg #partycoffin #clown illustrations #ok 2 rb and comment n speculate lol #long post

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ellerevelle · 1 year

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hello again

Its been an eternity. I had to login with my yahoo email. My YAHOO. email.

I’ve been sitting in the same position, at my computer, slouched over watching netflix for hours now. Not accomplishing a damn thing except panic. I’ve been enjoying the program I’m watching but continually keep checking my phone. As one does.

I check Instagram to look for that little red message notification indicating a new DM. Its not obsessive, but I do feel relieved to see someone is there. I’ve been alone in my room, day in day out, for what feels like months now. I go to work, I go out dancing occasionally, but all in all, I’m lazing in my bedroom. Its basically my studio apartment, despite living in a 4 bedroom rented house.

I’m here to journal. Because my life needs an entire overhaul. I really wonder whats wrong with me. Today I examined a LinkedIn job listing for, upon reading the details, is like- THE job. THE DREAM JOB. And I have no qualifications.

If I had even remotely TRIED. AT ALL. the last, oh I dont know, TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE to do anything actually photography work related, I’d be maybe closer to qualified. But despite talking like I’m an artist, despite going to goddamn art school, despite telling myself or others I meet “yea I’m a photographer,” ... it has to be what you DO. As a VERB. And my cameras literally, absolutely, are coated in dust. I havent handled them in over a year. Probably more.

What is wrong with me. I read the job description, I even took a screenshot of the listing for when it goes down, because I want to dream about it. Study it. But it says at the top of the list “at least 5 years of experience.” My last five years? have been bullshit. I’ve just gotten fatter and lazier and probably less mentally healthy. I mean, I’m barfing my thoughts on Tumblr again, I’m probably not okay. I’m here feeling like I’ve squandered my fucking years, that my life needs a genuine total overhaul. I am not mentally healthy.

Why. Am. I. Afraid. To. Move.

Not move away, but literally MOVE. Work out, create, explore my city, meet people, even pick up a new book. I’m afraid to move.

I need to clean my car. Its gotten out of hand. She doesnt deserve it. I feel like everything I SING about loving, I’ve stopped living up to. I talk about going on road trips ALL THE TIME. I feel like by letting my car fall into terrible disarray, I’m betraying myself. If I were to try to take a road trip, I’d have to do so much work. SO much work. Its so cluttered, the trunk is full of old clothes and weird concert souvenirs and random tupperware and literal trash. I need to vacuum it, I need to dust it, I need to clean the glass. I need to empty the entire thing out. I am afraid to do the work. I am unmotivated to do the work.

Want to know what I’m thinking about why:

I want someone to care.

I feel like I dont exist anymore. Like... no ones asking my any questions, no ones noticing me out there doing anything, I dont feel witnessed, I dont matter. So its really difficult to find motivation to do something that no one cares about. Which I dont mean to sound like the cliche “if you cant instagram it, did it really happen?” “if the tree falls in the woods but no one was there to see it, did it make a sound?”

Its a vicious cycle, I observe, because in not doing the thing I think no one sees or cares about, the thing I CARE ABOUT definitely never happens and, therefore, doesnt exist to be cared about or seen at all.

If I threw a party and nobody showed up, and quit throwing parties, then NO ONE would show up. Wayne Gretski “You miss 100% of the shots you dont take” la la la blah yes I know.

Its so fucking scary. I feel so goddamn freaked out. I feel so obvious. Everyone wants to be loved and noticed, obviously. I’m in part afraid of no one caring, but also I’ve become so egotistical in a way- that if I AM seen, I want to be seen right. I want the right people around me.

I’ve been dissappinted about people I’ve met or who has noticed me in this town. Again, ego, but like... I dont get hit on here. And those who DO, are AWFUL. I drive home after a night out and think - THAT guy? thought he had it to ask me for my number?

Not to sound cruel. But I’m talking like, total like... icky dudes. Or just blah dudes.

I sparkle, and I want to share it with somebody ... whats a better way to say “with somebody who matters”? Because that sounds horrible. I dont see myself as some queen diva champion, but I just... have a lot and have lived a very interesting life, and I feel like its just kindof. Stopped.

I hear some voices say that inspiration is bullshit. waiting for inspiration is an excuse. but like.

what... how... HOW? How to just go and do things anyway when theres SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN DISSAPOINT YOU. SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN DRAIN YOU. SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN HURT YOU. SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN LEAD YOU ASTRAY.

So in lieu of this fear, I’ve done nothing. I miss feeling fearless.

I’ve felt happiness lately going to kpop shows. When the artist looks at me. Not a sexy look or even a real look, but I still feel seen. Your eyeballs, You this Artist I care about, has seen my face. Has felt my presence in the crowd. And I like to delusionaly think that matters. I know in a woo woo way, everyones energy matters, but I’m in my head really BELIEVING that my presence is special. So when I go out, or try to meet new people, and just get met with duds or nothing at all - I feel like it was a waste. Or, worse, that I’m the joke. And that I’m crazy for thinking I’m special at all.

So. I need to clean my car. I need to get in shape. I need to dust off my cameras. I need to USE them. I need to play piano. I need to shred my magazines and make collage art again. I need to go out into nature and get attuned to the sunset and stars again. I need to even like, update my goddamn facebook page, and instagram and delete emails and FIX MY FUCKING LINKEDIN PROFILE BUT I’M SCARED. and lazy. And I want to have somebody to impress, but NOBODY. CARES. So why bother? But I genuinely feel like I’m disappearing! talking in circles.

By not doing things for myself out of fear, I’m essentially proving the world right. By not existing, I dont exist.

Why am I so scared? I mean, theres the Mom card. I’ve been aching to call her more than usual lately. This year I’ve felt the physical, tangible craving to call her. She died in 20...15? 2015. August of 2015.

And I never knew what being loved like that felt like until it was gone. She knew me, she saw everything. And she thought I was the most special, just for existing. She had 5+ miscarriages after having my older brother. She didnt think she was gonna have another baby. Let alone a little girl. Then she got the call, that the pregnancy stuck, that I was gonna be her daughter. The doctors literally SEWED HER CERVIX SHUT to keep me up there long enough. I was still born a month early, but I was her treasure. She wanted me SO BADLY.

I still dont know if her death was an accident or intentional, and I’m afraid to ask. I dont even know if my father would tell me the truth, he may need to believe it was an accident. But she was deeply depressed and addicted to hydrocodone, and she was found dead on our living room floor, all alone, on the day of her’s and my father’s 35th wedding anniversary. He was in the hospital at the time, he’d broken his shin bone weeks prior and has bad bones so he was in a rehab place. She was home alone, encouraged by him to just stay in and enjoy the house, and that they’d celebrate their anniversary another weekend. He sent her a bouquet of roses that she’d never see. They sat on our doorstep while she laid inside on the floor. It was devestating. Well, duh, thats an understatement.

When I was going to therapy (I stopped over COVID and havent gone back) my therapist asked me “would it make anything different for you, if you knew?” and at first I answered No. But even the next day I was honest with myself and truly, it would make a huge fucking difference. Knowing if it was a mistake, too much wine, took an extra hydrocodone, got woozy and passed out, maybe hit her head, or maybe a heart thing. That would change everything, if she didnt WANT to leave us. If it was just a fluke. That’d make a very big difference.

I’ve gotten over a lot since then and the layers of growth and wisdom I’ve developed is indescribable. I’m deeply proud of myself and who I am inside. But thats what makes me angry and sad right now. Why have I become such a blob? Surely I miss her love, even though it was so broken the last five years of her life with her severe depression. I forgive that, and I think she’d forgive me for being too young to understand and fight harder for her. Our hometown doesnt have shit in the way of Mental Health services. She needed worlds more help, and I couldve fought harder for her. Alas, I think she would be upset with me for thinking this way. She’d express “we’re the parents, its not on you to parent your own parents.”

Anyways. I feel like my Father is loving me how he knows how. He’s great for sweet support, but not great with life advice. He’s the least ambitious man I know since he retired. He HATED work, but suffered and sacrificed infinitely for us anyway to keep our lives afloat, and for that I’ll be forever grateful. But since he got to leave work and came into family money, he doesnt do much unless he HAS to. He’s a music man, but hasnt played guitar or written songs or done anything creative in decades. He let it burn out. I respect him, I love him for him and try not to be disappointed about his choices but... its just difficult to express my feelings to him about these things. He’s like “Josie, dont worry I have money, you’ll never be in trouble.” And I just... I believe him but I dont believe him? I dont want to buckle into that. I feel like I need to earn that privelege. I cant just ask, I’m not a trust fund kid. Cant just be like DADDY I WANT TO GO TO MIAMI CAN I HAVE TEN GRAND? Like, no! First of all He’d never say yes to that hahaha. I’ve definitely lied (*white lied) to my family to sound more put together and “worthy” than I actually probably am. I talk about my job like its a bigger deal than it is, when in reality I’m only making $15 an hour and I’m late every single day.

Fuck, speaking of. I was supposed to take a shower about 6 hours ago, but its 11:30pm and I have to go to bed and still havent gotten clean. Its been too many days. I’m gross.

See!? my life needs a fucking overhaul. WHY AM I STRUGGLING TO TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER.

I am broken dude. wtf.

I feel more motivated to take care of myself WHEN I FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY GIVES A SHIT WHO I AM! Somebody to wash my hair for, dress up for. Even though truth is, I absolutely do it for me. I go out to a concert to be seen, sure, but when I’m getting ready, I LOVE my reflection. I love hanging out with music on and expressing artistry with makeup or clothing styling. I do it because IIIIII like it. And then out in the world, at least if no one else likes it, at least I do?

But it still requires an invitation out. Someone saying “hey come meet us at this bar!” or a great concert I want to see and SHOW UP for. TURN UP for.

How do I do these things, how do I give a shit about showing up, if theres no invitation? if theres no obvious purpose other than just doing the thing?

I fear by existing out there, youre inviting critique. If i carry a camera around, people will ask to see. And what if I suck!!! What if theyre like “oh my god who the fuck does she think she is, carrying that nice ass big ass camera and her photos are so mediocre.”

I dont want to be a joke.

Sometimes I go into massive panic attacks getting dressed to go out because I feel like, too old and fat or the wrong genre to pull anything off and if I go out like... it’ll be the “who does she think she is.”

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck. I need to wash my face. I need to brush my teeth.

I need to get a FUCKING LIFE.

I want that Hybe America job. Content Preditor, they mushed together the words pre- and editor to make PREDITOR. How sexy could that be!

The job description describes who I wish I was. Prepared, experienced, creative, multitasking, able to improvise, team leader, good with new people, passionate about the music industry.

I havent taken any vitamins today. the EASIEST thing to do. because I hate walking into the kitchen to get water.

Thats a WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS. my living situation. this post is already too long. I’ve already procrastinated showering for far too long. I’ve already watched... lets see... NINE episodes, 40 minutes each.

I need help. Talk more tomorrow. Or, yknow, six more years or however long the previous gap between my posts have been.

#journal #venting #mentalhealth #family #real life #regret

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mach1ne-g1rl · 1 year

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Saw your most recent post on dhmis and tma and I've got opinions to say I believe Computers is an Eye episode because Colin's whole deal is stealing personal info and being smart but its not my strongest I see Jobs as a buried because while it doesn't involve much claustrophobia its more about harmful workplaces and overworking which ties in with the buried in a symbolic sense. I will argue so strongly Death is an End episode. The End is LITERALLY the fear of death smh. While I can see the argument its a Stranger because of Stain Edwards the theme of death is so strong that it isn't that relevant. I see Family as both Stranger and Corruption, Stranger because the whole episode feels very uncanny with the design of the family and set being a "real" place. It's also Corruption because the episode is about toxic family relations. I still cannot believe how you thought Friendship was originally a Vast episode. While I can see why you would assign it Lonely it's clearly a Corruption, it's literally about toxic friendships. Also bugs. Tbh i don't know what to assign to Transport my closest guess is Vast but my argument isn't very strong Electricity is a hard one, I don't think i can assign it to one entity. I think Electracey is a Extinction avatar because she's a robot and the "everything in the home will be plugged in and part of the electric family" line. I could see Charged Yellow being either Eye, Stranger or Extinction. Eye because he's want to find the truth and also green eyes, Stranger because Yellow gets replaced, and Extinction because he gets replaced using specifically technology. The power outage is probably Dark because darkness. Lesley is a Web avatar, I will fight you on this. She's controlling them, she's the literal puppet master. You said that Lesley isn't the main one pulling the string making her less Web aligned but I would argue that makes her MORE web aligned because she's knows she's not fully in control. I interpret becoming a web avatar as not only being manipulative, but accepting your lack of free will. As Annabelle said in 147, "let it never be said that I do not dance the steps I am assigned." Sorry this is long and probably sounds a little rude i just have very strong opinions on tma and dhmis have a lovely day

COmputer being eye was also on my first post but i removed it bc i didnt think it was part of the big Fear factor ? but the way you phrased it does make it work

jobs being buried makes sense too !! my main reason for it being spiral is just Duck calling everything out and then Also going weird ? and then going back to "this is all wrong" very strongly (also the episode is reminiscent of Sculptor's Tool to me with only duck pointing out how this is Odd)

death SHOULD be end ur right , i just didnt think anyone in dhmis seemed very scared of the Death there ? so i thought it wasnt very important but Yeah when you mention it its definitely end ty (Or desolation bc it also feels like . theyre more focused on the grief of losing someone n not the Fear of Death ? if that makes sense=? but i dont rly get the End and Desolation anyway so)

CORRUPTION FOR FAMILY IS SO RIGHT i think i considered corruption for it at one point but i second guessed myself enough to remove it again . and stranger never reallly seemed correct to me but it was the closest and i had no one to discuss with so i ran with it:sob:

IM SORRYY LSITEN OK i hadnt listened to tma in full when i made the first list. i just read the entities wiki page and heard season 5 ..!!!! honestly idk if i agree with corruption bc , while thats probably the deeper meaning of the episode (toxic friends) warren always seemed like just an autistic asshole to me so i never saw the whole . toxic thing ? and he never really actually seemed friends with any of them ?? yea taking advantage of their kindness but i wouldnt call it a toxic relationship bc there never Was a Relationship to me (probably factually wrong n im being ignorant here but its my list and blehh :P im biased towards warren) and im probably just forgetting something bc i havent rewatched it in a while but are there bugs besides warren (are worms bugs)?

transport i assigned Web bc red guy being like . aware of the whole They're Trapped There thing and trying to escape and Lonely bc they're trying to get to other people/ civilization/ community but are just . stuck ? and in some episodes the lonely just takes ppl to endless places that they cant leave (cul-de-sac is the only one i remember) and it just (again) reminded me of that

ELECTRICITY /SHOULLD/ be more than 1 or 2 very true but i just Really hate assigning more than 2 to these idk why ive set that rule for myself but it just feels wrong, disorderly and i dont like it . but yes i can see electracey being extinction (tbh i feel like teachers being avatars/ assinging them patrons/fears could be a whole other list itself) Charged Yellow being stranger i disagree. yes hes replaced but it feels more like . if s1 jon got replaced by s5 jon ? does that make sense ? I HAD DARK For this episode too bc the power outage but it didnt feel like a big fear factor here ? and i just didnt think it was significant enough (the dumb self-imposed rule) Lesley IS web coded i completely forgot annabelle for a second when i made this :sob: ive had too much michael on my mind and i thought being trapped wasnt enough of a theme here ? not like it was in Transport or like Dreams but yea it definitely should be Web

IM GLAD this is long i like hearing other ppls thoughts and input on this silly stuff (it did sound a little rude at times but dw i get it) I think at the end of the day the way we judge these is just Very different? Unless you disagree, i dont think the web series is this "up for debate" as the tv show is bc it just has . Less. There's maybe 3 lines at the start, then the teacher comes in and starts singing about what they embody, then the horrors and the end (only the last 3 episodes rly made me question which Power would be associated with them bc it kinda follows a plot so they could all a little be taken as web and lonely with red guy?) Theres just so many more ways the TV show can be interpreted. These could be judged on the Teacher, the Lesson, the thing that scares the characters, the thing that scares the Audience, symbolism/manifestations, etc. (i think i just went with whatever seemed the most relevant to me / what scared the characters ? but i was also being pretty inconsistent there lmao) i feel like there would probably have to be multiple lists or just one BIG list of everything that could count as one of the entities ? or maybe im blowing this out of proportion and its really simple for you, and only i struggled with this :,) either way it was fun ! and i think thats all that matters maybe the real dhmis tma entities assigning list were the friends we made along the way aww

#sun.ask #can you tell im very unsure of myself

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daydadahlias · 1 year

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16, 17, 20, 40🗿, 44, 56 for the writer game :D

how are u today?

why thank u for asking <33 im very curious abt this little face emoji and cant wait to figure out the reasoning when I go look at question 40. also i'm great! I finished my sophomore year today!! summer and fanfic here i come <3

from this ask game <3

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

oh too many. always too many. literally cannot even count the amount of docs in my google drive. i'm trying to focus on MiM right now but there's this fucking weird mashton fic tentatively called Sweet Tea I want to write at some point that's about Ashton owning a rodeo. it's like... subversive sugar daddy.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

talk to friends! If I'm really struggling with something I'll hop on over to someone (usually Ashley these days <3) and say "hey, do you have any ideas for this?" Or, sometimes, I just like to talk through things and I'll solve my own problems by just discussing them w/ someone!! Molly and Crystal especially are great sounding boards <3

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

yeah, to be honest I think if you've read all my stuff, you'll notice I'm a bit of a one trick pony. I reuse the same lines, the same style, over and over again. I say "just" a lot and "well" and "made to love" and stuff like that. My dirty talk is basically the same in every fic lol. I incorporate writing/theatre into a lot of fics as well! And I'm a whore for some violent imagery. Like the whole "it's so BLANK it hurts." Usually it's shit, like, "it feels like home so much it hurts." I love describing love as being painful <3

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

hehe ok now i know what the little rock guy is for. well, I'll just say that fanart is literally the nicest thing ever and I dont think I will ever have enough words to accurately express just how much I love receiving stuff for fics. getting art/moodboards/edits is just a whole other level and something I never really considered I would get when I first started writing fanfic. and I have a little folder on my computer where i save every moodboard / piece of art anyone's ever made me for a fic bc it's a really really beautiful thing I'll never take for granted. As for specific stuff... uHhh. I don't know!! I can say that I always love black and white style the most and, like, sketchy stuff. I don't know, my favorite thing is seeing what people choose to draw / make!! i wanna know what readers like; it doesnt really matter what I like. <3

44. What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

most of my mistakes are html formatting. and, then, grammar stuff is usually just, like... I happen to look over it. i swear i know grammar you guys i do it for a living :sob: but sometimes it sneaks through the cracks. im also an overwriter by nature.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

oo my dialogue. I think I make people talk like people and that shit is hard to do. because my dialogue used to be <33 really really bad <33 so there's definite improvement. I think you can see it just between my earlier fics and now tbh. I've definitely improved as I've kept writing!!

#pigeon #io #thank u for asking so many i luv speaking #sorry i cant give u anything concrete for the fanart question #i just dont know!!#i like sketchy stuff and slice of life #like the one you did at the bean was literally my DREAM style of fanart #the stuff that could actually exist within the world of the fic #a long time ago Miki drew me luke's copy of The Normal Heart #like put some little doodles/notes on it #and tbh that was everything to me #yeah it's stuff like that <33

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rove-bogge · 1 year

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Hello again,

It's not that I think I'm really boring, it's just... well, I'd have a lot more to say if we weren't going to have to reveal ourselves at the end of this, you know? Speaking of which: Is there anything in particular that you wouldn't want to receive at the end? I can take a guess at some things you might like from what I know about you so far, but I don't want to get you something you already have, or that's not safe for bugs or something (like how dogs can't eat chocolate, and certain plants are poisonous to cats).

That game you were talking about sounds fun! I don't have a computer, but if I did maybe I'd play it too. Though, wouldn't camping be kind of a waste of time while you're in that type of situation? Making tunnels is smart though, I should use that strategy if I ever play it.

I can't say I eat much sour stuff, though it's not like I have a sweet tooth either. I guess I prefer salty/savoury stuff? But If I had to choose between sweet and sour, I think I'd go sweet.

Ah, I wasn't really planning on having to answer those myself... if that's the case maybe I should choose better questions this time, though I guess you can always ask me completely different ones anyways. It's harder for me to answer these since I'm supposed to stay anonymous, but I'll try my best.

I guess my favourite colour would have to be... maybe red. It just feels so vibrant and powerful and cool looking, you know? But I also feel the same way about blue, oddly enough... people always say blue is calming, but there are some really electrifying shades of it. And there are dangerous blue things too, like the ocean... I guess I'm not really sure. If I pick purple, does that count as both? Though purple itself isn't my favourite.

My favourite food is. Well, it's hard to pick just one, isn't it?

If I could make five wishes... see, this is the hard part. I kind of wish you were really anonymous, knowing that I'm going to have to look you in the face later just makes this too embarrassing (or incriminating). Though I do feel more comfortable writing this letter than the first one. Well, the pen pal version of my five wishes would be: 1) To be a great and powerful mage, 2) For my family and I to be healthy and happy for a long time, 3) For classes to be easier, 4) To end world hunger forever, and 5) A blastcyle

My day was alright I guess. It wasn't better or worse than my days usually are, though it by all means should have been considering these living changes.

Okay, for this next round of questions, why dont you tell me: What's your favourite class? What's your favourite animal other than bugs? Would you ever get a tattoo?

Mandatorily yours, Pen Pal

Hi Mainly things to avoid are pesticides and insecticides…. If you give me these I am making you eat them. Only weird people would appreciate such gifts. I guess also anything like toiletries…I don’t know I guess some people like them but I always feel like those are a secret insult where you're telling the other person they smell or something. I mean if things aren't made awkward you can always come to Ignihyde and try it out if you want. We can even handicap ourselves so you have a chance to win. Though you misunderstand the terms Camping and tunnelling, I guess it's hard for a normie to understand gaming lingo lmao. If you do want to brave face me in this game we will have to give you some normie to gamer translation cards. As for taste you can have things that are sour and sweet at the same time. I mean Lemons are often put in deserts and drinks right? But I guess it's an acquired taste. But sweets are always good. I really want to go see the maple taffy display but it would be weird to go alone…Everytime I peek in there's always groups of people and it's loud and annoying. Ah well maybe I’ll order some online to be delivered. You seem weirdly indecisive like you can’t just pick one thing to deem your favourite. I always find that quality weird and annoying. Would you be the type of person who when you ask what you want for dinner goes ‘I don’t know, what do you want?’ How irritating… As for your wishes, you're not really going for Miss Twisted Wonderland here you know… bar the last one, your wishes are so boring textbook answers. I’m hoping that to put me off trying to figure out who you are. As for the Blastcyle…I have never ridden one. I only tried to drive a car once and I crashed my brother's car into a ditch…. I haven't done any further attempts to drive anything since…. Fine, your questions: Favourite class. Well, I am pretty good at analytical magic. It helps sharpen my cardshark skills! I enjoy working out the mechanics behind magic and even peoples unique magic can be fun to break down to concept and mechanics. It makes it easier to work out counters too. Animals other than bugs. I like snakes. I even have my own, Snake-eyes who is an Arid Albino ball python. He’s rather placid and sometimes likes to hang out around my neck while I'm playing games or coding. As for tattoos…hmm maybe I have never really thought about it. How about you? It seems you have considered tattoo’s if you asked such a question. Another question: what do you hope to receive for the holidays and or gift exchange? Anyway I have rambled on far longer than any of us care for and people want to play games. Lets see if I can rinse them of there Thaumarks TTYL Rove

#yeah i'm the boogie man!#oh? antivirus? haha #nru: exchange 22 #hmmm the conspircy grows XD #I'm sorry Rove is such an Ass!#his present if going to be a punch in the face and it will be deserved

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isaacathom · 1 year

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ds9 time, s2e14 and e15

welcome to, what, the second of three obrien eps? in a row? my guys having the time of his life (negative)

now based on premise i will specifically have a bad time but lets see how we go.

why'd the camera start so fucking close to his face. why you gotta be like that. 'set the record state about the last 52 hours' OH IN MEDIAS RES???? OH IN MEDIAS RES????? well shit. fuck. hell yeah? hell yeah. this is gonna be an interesting one then.

now the thing is. it sucks that it has to start with keiko. bc as i keep hammering. the two of them get so few opportunities to just, be a couple? without a plot problem? even if it makes sense that keiko acting weird would be obrien's first 'wait. what?' moment

i like that, at this early stage, keiko is the only one being EXTREMELY suspicious, while everyone else seems to be like. plausibly off. the engineering crews early, but they're on siskos orders, and sisko seems as genial as ever. the only bit that sounded off was when he said he was talking to keiko about jake's grades, but obrien buys it completely, and even then it doesnt sound that far off.

"its not doctors i have a problem with [in unison] its you julian" i love you two so much

ohp there we go, there's the sign sisko's lying.

oh he keeps being sneaky babyyyyy i love that for him

keiko really is an awful liar and thats kind of sweet, in its own way

the fact that bashir going 'hows the sex life' is setup is absolute fucking chaos to me. i dont even know if bashir knows shit. i have no idea what my boy knows. i know keiko, sisko, and kira know SOMETHING, i dont know if Bashir knows (i assume he does? or at least enough to not question an order to take as long as possible with the physical)

see im sitting here going Is That Shit Poisoned. Is That Shit Fucked. How Fucked Is This. How in danger am i, the nausea bitch, in this situation. okay obrien agrees with me, hell yeah bro

the CLOSE UPS. THE TEEEEENSIIIIIOOOOOOON. gah fuck.

the montage of him listening to the logs, i adore it

man just shows up, hits a button, walks off, because literally noone will question why the fuck hes in the bridge

oh hey odo IS in this episode. exceptional. was worried for a minute. but hes not in the framing sequence runabout so ? but he seems on side so.

quark's just like? bro i was trying to make friendly conversation. the fuck are you on about.

ohp odos not on side anymore ohohohooooOOOOOO AND THERES SISKO WITH THE STEEL CHAIRRRRR i mean uh

MY MANS GOT A STUN GRENADE AND A GUN YES

YES

THE TIGER IS FREE

ooh i like that, thats a cute trick. love my tech man.

everybody? like every everybody? then again i guess like, sisko pre-emptively coulda told rollman, just like obrien said he might do to odo.

they've specified this coffee type way too many times. whats up with that. should i be aware of something re: the coffee. i dont watch regularly enough to remember obriens coffee order.

man the compute-

WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE TWO OF THEM? WHY ARE THERE TWO OF THEM? OOOOOOOH so it was OBRIEN that was off, thats cute! thats so cute!

oh i really like that actually. thats a really cute twist. i love that. OOOHHH THAT RULES. THAT RULES. I LOVE THAT.

genuinely really good. i like that a lot. the coffee thing was definitely something though, right, like 100%.

s2e15 time, lets go, its obrien again. 3/3 on obriens.

this convos real sweet! i love learning about obrien.

oh hell yea. bow time.

tech mans about to learn a valuable lesson in 'there is tech thats isn't electric'

that actress, alixus? she looks extremely familiar. joseph also looks familiar but in a way i can chalk to being like, generic nice older man. im gonna check both of these though. nope, nevermind, dont know her. BUT JOSEPH IS THE VOICE OF PUFFIN FROM SWAN PRINCESS????? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUVK? what the fuck.

i know its early days but this episode is not doing anything for me at this stage.

oh that one woman really wants to leave huh

okay so the plot is gonna be that this woman is gonna try and force them to stay, isn't it.

oh yea im bang on thats 100% what this plots gonna be. she's pulling some shit tm. either she's the reason the EM fails or she sabotaged the original ship. or maybe theres a twist here. who knows. the vibes arent great.

yeah cult vibes. cult vibes. like, im not strictly saying shes wrong. sometimes people do need to be off their phones (i say, blogging my entire experience of shows and books and movies). but like. ? somehow i dont think the SciFi Show is going to be coming down especially sympathetic.

'primitive' yikes

something about the fact alixus immediately went to calling them Miles and Ben feels significant

she's giving cult energy lads. like, she has a point, that in the absence of electrical technology reliance on herbal remedy is medicine, does save lives, but to prevent a tech guy from trying to do his tech shit? like you can do two things at once. you can have people scour the forest for fungi and you can let the bastard play with his computers for a bit. just get him to help you like, cook or smth. give him a basic chore so he still 'pulls his weight'. you can compromise to let him try until he's satisfied himself that he's done everything he can. you can hardly except obrien and sisko to snap to the pastoral lifestyle in 2 seconds when you've had 10 years and were also clearly on that Vibe long before.

'the ship is travelling at warp 2' at. warp 2? it was in synchronous orbit? synchronous orbit is impulse, is my usual understanding. and that certainly wouldn't send it hurtling off, it shouldn't fucking slingshot out. unless duonetic does shit? i feel like obrien would've said if it did. im gonna read full malice into alixus now, her or joseph, someones pulling shit.

obrien reminiscing about keiko is really sweet.

oh yeah normal behaviour chuck the cunt in a metal box small enough to give me grief, excellent fucking shit, for fucks sake. what the fuck. torture??? torture??? bro. bro.

for a woman in deep on political theory you think she'd know about deterrence theory and shit. about how like... harsh punishment for crime does not necessarily deter crime if the need is severe enough, which is why the correct method of combatting crime is to address the reasons why is it does (in this instance, more fairly apportion your limited supply of fucking candles)

fellas, im gonna say it, sisko is an attractive man. im just putting it out there.

its sort of neat that alixus only has the idea to do this, SPECIFICALLY to sisko, BECAUSE sisko had previously made a point of mentioning that obrien was married, not him. thats sort of a neat bit. cause she mightve tried it on obrien, who wouldve just gone haha no im married please leave, but no. sisko, because she knows he isnt married. if he'd answered about womens fashion that might've even dissuaded her from the idea altogether.

oh hey siskos making the same point as me. exceptional. so the episode is just being blunt, then.

'core identity' cult behaviour! cult behaviour!

'of course all you have to do is ask' gross

i love this kira and dax bit, this is cute

'they continue to reject us' it took yall years and youre pissy about a week. eat shit. fuck off. i hate you

hey man id really recommend not wearing those like 3 layers when you go into the cook box

this ep is so blunt man.

i do really like this conversation with Miles and Joseph where Joseph knows exactly what Miles is trying to do. i think its really neat. its such a cute little bit. 'i can do it so it wont hurt at all' giving Joseph an out. so good.

i cant believe i was right on BOTH counts, fuck me running.

i like that the guy who was previously in the box is the one who gets sisko water, cute.

and then just two kids stare at a box, okay??? i hated that. i did not like that at all.

i didnt like that. cannot explain it. i guess my bit is that the episode doesnt do enough to convince me that she DID build a community, and not just a cult or something (which, i guess definitionally that is a community, but, yknow??) like. i just. no? i feel like i mightve been kinder if one or more of the people had chosen to leave, to see the truth and to make an informed choice, but instead joseph just speaks for everybody and thats it. not enough done to establish to me that she was right. eugh.

thats me for the night but like. aya. land of contrasts

#ds9 blogging #i dont have any deep thoughts im a very surface level observer #theyre good and or fine. yeehaw

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runeterrankhaleesi · 2 years

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Fuck it Imma ask for a LMMU for League of Legends.

I'm a gay trans man in my early 20s. I do freelance art, Am starting a Youtube Channel with some friends, and I have a job as a librarian at the town's centre where I live. Im 5'5, pretty chubby, and I use a walking cane because one of my legs is slightly too short.

I like Jazz/classical/lofi music, I've started a collection of teas, and I like to sew, knit, and paint when Im not doing commissioned work. I dont really care if someone shares my interests or not, as long as they're ok with me enjoying them and they arent afraid to talk about what's important to them.

My love language (giving) is acts of service, quality time, and gift giving. My love language (recieving) is quality time or physical touch.

What I look for in a partner is someone reliable, willing to listen and accomodate my weirdness and my disability, and someone who I can trust completely. I have abandonment issues and am very touch-starved, so someone bouncing once they hear I might want kids one day is something I dont want.

Thank you sorry for being so late.

[A/N: Just as you asked, darling, I consulted my matchmaker for this one. ;)]

I pair you with...

VIKTOR!

Why? Because...

I'm sure you're already aware that science and technology is Viktor's bread and butter so when you tell him that you're starting your own Youtube channel with your friends, he runs to get his hands on the nearest computer to help you. He comes and helps you set up the channel (if you haven't already) and tweaks the coding of the website itself to make it a bit more personalized for you and your friends.

As you can tell, Viktor fully supports your hobbies and interests, he wants nothing but the best for you. There once was a time where he offered to create a website where you can advertise your art and receive commissions and to this day, he stills bugs you about it, begging you to just let him do it.

He has a warehouse where he stores all his inventions and spare parts. Ever since you've said you've started collecting teas, Viktor has taken the liberty to set aside a space for you in said warehouse. He knows that it's a bit much but it's his way of showing his dedication for you. You're free to whatever you want with the free space, you can turn into a workspace, you can store your teas, your art supplies or even your finished pieces (though Viktor would rather have those framed and hanged around his workplace).

If you do decide to turn it into a workplace, Viktor would mark the space under construction as he works to build a surround sound system in the place so you can play music whenever you like.

He loves having you close whenever he works. You don't actually have to be close, he just wants to feel your presence in the room, it provides him that sense of comfort he can't quite explain. It's like he never wants to be away from you-wanting to share and spend every minute of his life with you.

Viktor loves to infodump and share his ideas (he would make sure you're free, comfortable, and open to listen first before proceeding). He'd like to hear your opinions, feedback, and critiques, he likes to take note of it to improve. He'd also like to hear your ideas as well, even helping you bring it to life.

Due to his...enhancements, he's almost all metal. It makes it hard for him to display affection, especially physical but that doesn't mean he won't try. The temperature of his metal body is near unpredictable so he settles to show his love for you verbally by words of affirmation or simple things such as calling you by nicknames.

You don't have to worry about Viktor, he's loyal and dedicated, the thought of ever leaving you has never crossed his mind. He's more than reliable, he makes sure to remind you that he's there for you always and that you can lean on him when things are tough. And sure, he can't physically give you kids but that doesn't mean you can't adopt, especially since he has thought of having a family once or twice ever since he met you.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[You were matched together by @mellonzinho]

#runeterrankhaleesi #league of legends x reader #lol x reader #league of legends #lol #viktor #LMMU #lmmu #love month match up

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anxiouslyextroverted · 1 year

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vent that idk where to put so

honestly this is random of me to say but getting diagnosed with autism at 6 was so bad for me, like not only did it cause years and years of bullying because my mum made this huge deal about me having it to everyone, and embarassed me, and friends and family a like yelled at me for any autistic trait i showed. But it also is the reason my social skills are even more sht cuz young me (who for whatever reason was allowed to have a computer and be online at as young as 7) was like 'let me google how to not be autistic' and then now i cant even relate to other autistic people anymore because me at 7-17 had trained constantly to be aware of every autistic trait I had and now I dont even know what autistic traits I have anymore. I went to multiple autistic youth camps and I related to no one. none of my therapists ever thought I have autism, my recent therapist wants to see proof that I have it like bruh

I know it sucks to have it diagnosed later in life of course it does but I just feel liek I don't know being diagnosed with autism at a young as age can be really horrible too, it was for me at least. trained myself so much to not have any autistic traits that I accidentaly trained a way a huge part of my personality lmao. like I must sound like an asshole rn but I geneuinl find it so difficult to relate to both nt and nd people, cuz like everything most nd people I've seen do now days was stuff I did at 7-16, like all the questons and all the research. and all the stuff they are already knew is stuff I never learnt until now. and im still treated like as if i know nothing about autism ect... even though I was diagnosed with that shit at 6 like not to complain about autism culture? whatever it is i dont even know, but I feel weird when people tell me I don't know anything about autism or that I'm not autistic just because I said "I have autism" rather than "I'm autistic" like, I don't get that. I am just doing what I'm used too.

I kind of feel similar with lgbt too cuz I was like nonbinary when I was 3 tbh like Ig you could call it that because at that age I denied femininity and she/her pronouns and even being called a girl and just wanted to be called my name, and that carried on until 17 where for the first time ever I worked out the difference between girl and boy, but nowdays now everyone is being like "oh wow look a guy in a dress super cool" but I just kinda thought that was already a normal thing? like I never got the separation of male and female ever, when young me saw feminism and gender equality online, I took it litterally and believed it was girl and boy are exactly the same, so now I'm seeing twitter and tumblr talking about all this like "oh let a guy wear make up cmon its 2023" but I thought that was normal already and don't get why its a big deal and never did. like its hard to explain how I feel not saying its a bad thing though but stuff like that always confuses me. But Ig thats what happens when you're exposed it at a young age, you don't really see the culture or become apart of the culture, or understand the separation to begin with.

#just ignroe this i just needed to vent about my #autism #somewhere #probably will show this to my therapist or something

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disastergenius · 1 year

Text

Finished S2 on my relisten

Onto Season 2! I remember thinking that the plot started dragging a little, since we start out strong with the initial exploration of the tunnels and then go back to the Monster of the Week format, and I was now invested in the mystery solving. But it works significantly better for the story and it was the right choice, and it definitely is more fun in retrospect to be able to put all the pieces together.

E42: Grifter’s Bone freaks me out because the idea of listening to something by choice or unwittingly and then permanently being affected. i mean, that’s just how music works in a way, but now its Sinister.

E43: Section 31 big fan of early Basira and Frank Voss, their voice is so nice

E44: ooh set up to the Unknowing; every single Circus statement just has such a terrifying undertone before they get really bad

I think I’m in the minority of Magnus fans that isn’t obsessed with Michael? Like I understand that he is fascinating but also I don’t really like him?? I don’t know why???

i think i don’t enjoy any statements to do with Robert Smirke and his weird architecture? I dont know why but i lose focus during them. maybe because i hate buildings that don’t make sense because i have quite a tendency to get lost, so this almost annoys me more than it scares me

E52: Exceptional Risk full confession is that I am really bad at remembering when statements have names that are the same, so I don’t always get it when they are connected immediately but once i do realize, they make good statements and good linking for the story

E57: Personal Space I love this statement so much even though it terrifies me

E59: Recluse always enjoy a Hill Top Road statement, there’s so much that goes on and i really want more of the various happenings there

E61: Hard Shoulder i hate Daisy so much sometimes but her statements are good and her voice is really nice (thank you Fay Roberts!)

E62: First Edition love the dynamic here it’s so fun

E65: Binary freaked me out the first time and still freaks me out now, something about the imagery of the broken computer and the shards and pain

E67: Burning Desire first mystery episode i really got into that has good payoff

E68: The Tale of a Field Hospital i did not appreciate this statement the first time i heard it, thought it was weird and did not enjoy. on the relisten it is incredible at reimagining things that are Just Slightly Off

E69: Thought for the Day first Annabelle Cane statement! it’s wild and i hated it the first time i listened to it but its such a good statement

E70: Book of the Dead is such a good concept, terrifying thank you

E72: Takeaway I hate every single Flesh statement related to the Hans because 1. creepy 2. imagery is the worst in my head 3. somewhat racist and i hate it (sorry for the discourse but god it’s so bad)

E72: Police Lights maybe one of my favorite small details between the Callum Brodie connection to learning about both his parents and then later his own fear domain

E74: Fatigue too relatable

all the Not!Them statements are scary to me because the idea that a monster can just slip in and recreate reality without anyone knowing is so awful and scary to me because you would just have to question everything but you would never know to even start

my favorite theory ive seen is that the Not!Them keeps the witness as someone who is close to having a connection to that person, so close but maybe not quite, and that’s what makes you question it more, because it’s a memory of what you could have had all the time but you don’t know why

E80: The Librarian *insert Jurgen Leitner rant*

[extended sounds of brutal pipe murder]

Whoo ready for Season 3!

#the magnus archives

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furia-lepida · 2 years

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ARGH

I'm not sure if I want to scream or cry or both

I bought a new laptop for various reasons

The old one is almost 5 years old and can be slow as all fuck

Some of the keys don't work consistently (sometimes they don't work at all, sometimes you have to press really hard or repeatedly, sometimes they are fine. But also of course these are keys that I need to type my name)

The track pad suddenly stopped working (and even when I tried fixing it nothing changed)

I can make this one my desktop computer as long as it still functions

So I buy a new laptop, that is 2-in-1 so I can also fold it flat because versatility is nice, especially while in grad school and having a lot of readings

Well I get it all set up and then for a while, after it has been activated and set up for not even 6 hours at this point, it wouldn't function unless it was plugged in - immediately shutting off as soon as it was unplugged

I've had that issue with 2 previous laptops (including the 5 year old one I still have)

Which means the battery is messed up

Well I find something online that tells me how to fix that issue. It works! Thank goodness!

....except now it won't charge past 60%

Which is weird and fucked up it was only unboxed and activated the day before. But I don't trust uninstalling and reinstalling the drivers (see trackpad mention above)

So I take it into big blue and yellow store the next day (today) - after confirming that the battery not charging is still an issue - that I ordered it from... And they tell me that it sounds like the battery is definitely bad (no shit)

So before I 100% know what's happening they have taken the laptop and refunded the price of the laptop to me... but I still need a new laptop

Now I have to wait like 2 days for the refund to fully process before they will help me order a new one (which doesn't entirely make sense to me) because I do want that model thank you very much - it was very nice while I had it, other than the obvious issues (and the fact that I ordered a stylus to go with it and so I dont want that to be wasted either)

It needs to be ordered because they don't have it in store - which is why I had ordered it initially anyway

And so now I have to wait and mope and I'm just very frustrated

I just want a nice, new, fast, & functional laptop please and thank you - it really shouldn’t be that hard

#personal #rant #c & the perpetual technology issues #i have never had my tech juju work that fast #but also frustrated with The Store and the way that convo went down #you can ignore this #i just needed to yell about it

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k9zuha · 3 years

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i want to watch perfect blue i heard it’s scary and messes u up and i don’t like scary things 😔

#i also read emergence recently 😐#why did no one tell me what it was about 😐#BASED ON WHAT PPL SAY IT SOUNDS LIKE A HORROR/PSYCHOLOGICAL THING but no it is some weirdos twisted fantasy #i’m sorry i know it’s like a thing???? but i actually have a lot to say about it #it’s sad and very messed up and has definitely been a reality for some people BUT I DONT THINK ITS LIFE CHANGING #it didn’t make me think or change my outlook on life it just made me very angry #and why is it treated as this like meta thing when i know for a fact that was not the intention the author is just some sick weirdo who #gets off to that bc the tag line is literally like teen has crazy fun time 🤪😆🥳#whoever wrote that is weird and whoever got off to read that is also weird please get some help #but i’m like todou and have a giant brain with 50000 cpu so after i read it i just wiped my brain like a computer #and now i don’t even remember what happened i also do this when i see a spoiler

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you-did-well-moon · 3 years

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Day6 Reaction to s/o learning their instrument while they're away

Type: Fluff, angst in Dowoon dont know what happened wasnt me

Word Count: 2.865

A/n: I took some creative freedom with why they were away but that is it. Keep in mind, I have no experience with instrument except for when I played the piano in 5th grade for like two weeks. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! - Moon

TW: small cuts, fight, second hand embarrassment

Sungjin

Sungjin was absolutely and devastatingly exhausted. His own guitar case felt like it was weighing him down tremendously, and he had a huge headache. Jae and Wonpil arguing in the back of the car was not helping in any way. It has been going on since they left the airport. He rubbed at his temples tiredly pressing his head against the cool window from his place in the passenger seat next to their manager.

Still, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he thought about seeing you, probably curled up in the couch cheeks puffed from the snack you were inhaling. The pounding in his head lightened at the cute sight he would soon get to enjoy as he played with the loose threads of his old button up shirt.

True to Sungjin’s imagination, your form was sitting on the couch. Not true to his imagination, you were actually bent over something in your lap, lightly humming and bopping your head to the rhythm being produced by your still clumsy fingers. The guitar in your lap had gotten lighter as the days went by without your boyfriend, and in replacement of his touch, leaving your fingertips warm and tingling, it was small cuts you hadn’t bothered to bandage as it disrupted you when playing.

You missed Sungjin an abnormal amount. The cold spot in the bed or him making weird faces at you through the mirror in the mirror when brushing your teeth. You missed all of it. With a slight tremble in your chest you started playing the chorus to “You Were beautiful”.

You were so focused on trying to get it right you didn’t notice the door closing only to startle when you slightly looked up through your lidded eyes seeing the shadow looming over the coffee table. With a small yelp of surprise you jumped immediately looking up only to find your boyfriend staring at you with wide eyes.

His surprised expression made you shrink into yourself. You threw your head into your hands in pure embarrassment letting the guitar gently slide off your lap, hitting the floor with a soft thump. “Can you just pretend you didn’t see that I can’t believe I even tried learning all that by myself I” you cut yourself off with an un-pleased sigh shaking your head and looking at him with pleading eyes.

Your boyfriend continued in his frozen state for about five seconds before breaking out in the biggest smile rushing around the coffee table in which you panicked trying to get away from him with a squeal, but being too slow im the excitement that was usually in a much dormant state in Sungjin. The wrinkles near the corner of his eyes deepened adoringly, and his chest shook with soft laughter while he held you close.

There was a fond twinkle in his eye as Sungjin forgot any tiredness that clung to his bones and kissed the tips of your fingertips while maintaining eye contact. He kept your hands encased in his when scolding you for having such low faith in yourself and softly encouraging you. He would probably put little stitch band-aids on your fingertips and continue teaching you, sitting you on his lap and scolding you when you lose focus with a sharp poke at your ribs smiling when you giggled. This man just fell impossibly more in love with you.

“You shouldn’t say those things, look at you love, learning all alone and doing so well. I'm so proud. Would you rather have the elmo band-aids or the stitch band-aids… I don’t know about you but Elmo kinda creeps me out. Just five more minutes little love then you can go mug Young k with Dowoon. Don’t look at me like that! You finally have a teacher and you take him for granted. The audacity-”

Jae

Jae was a thin hair away from just ripping his hair out. He didn’t believe the kpop industry would take very kindly to him going bald, but he had come to a point where he didn’t really care about what people thought anymore. But thinking about you not being able to play with his hair anymore while he drifted off to sleep with his head on your chest severely upset him.

Jae had gotten stuck in another limbo, stuck in the studio and in his own head desperately trying to finish any of the unfinished songs left in his computer files. He missed you so much, he eventually called it quits, deciding to go home to you, who he hadn’t seen in days.

Just the thought about seeing you energized his previously exhausted self. He never could get sick of you. Every day, every week was a new adventure, a new chapter, all with his favorite person in the world. The night sky, although beautiful, seemed to mock him, reminding him of how late it was, meaning you were most probably asleep.

Opening the door to his apartment, he heard soft music. He briefly recognized “I Need Somebody”, and thought you were playing it from your phone. All his thoughts came to a halting stop when he saw you perched on the bed, in his shirt, playing the melody of the previously mentioned song.

You had hair falling into your eyes with your eyebrows slightly scrunched trying not to mess up and heavily focused. Jae had loudly yelled in surprise, causing you to flinch and look up shocked at the sudden surprise. When you saw it was just him, you had comically thrown your hands in the air yelling at him about how it was supposed to be a surprise.

The irritated look on your face vanished as you went up to give him a light hug with a kiss, softly smiling at him. Meanwhile Jae, was completely out of it, lovestruck eyes while he instinctively returned your affection.

“Come Jae, you look like you haven’t slept in ages, your eyes are so sunken babe”, you had softly whispered to him, rubbing the soft skin under his eyes, the way you were always soft with him when he came back from the studio. You slept in the same bed for the first time in what had been days, Jae tightly clutching on to you.

He may have not been completely there at the moment, but in the morning when he had time to process everything, he was a changed man. He wouldn’t stop laughing and giggling excitedly, eagerly wanting to hear everything you had learnt. He even poked fun at you when you made a mistake. But it was all lovingly as he also praised you non stop while looking at you with his messy hair and big smile next to you on the couch. He had so much inspiration now. To finish what had been left behind.

“Pop off queen who gave you this much talent, you couldn’t even tell me what bass was last time we talked, which was like a week ago. Might just make you play when I don’t feel like playing. Give you a wig and people won’t know the difference! Why are you booing me, I'm right?”

Young K

Young K’s foot tapping on the floor of the car was the only sound that filled the car aside from the soft sound of the car’s engine and tires. He was absolutely spent, having to have stayed in a different city for a show he was invited to that was filmed far away from his home.

Far away from you. Young K could tell his manager was starting to get irritated, but Young K was already massively annoyed and too far in his own world to really care. He missed the pine scent of his sheets, and he missed you.

It was not a good combination. When he got to his place he quietly thanked the manager, getting his bag before trying to ignore every urge telling him to run into the building and fall into his soft bed with you in his arms. When he opened the door, your keys were there, so he knew you were in the building. That thought filled him with more relief than it should have.

He did have to admit, hearing “I smile” this early in the day was odd as you usually saved the more mellow songs for later in the night. Young K told himself he had many euphoric moments in his life, but seeing you staring at a sheet of paper with so much determination and a bass guitar in your arms came pretty close to the top.

The absolute warmth that exploded in his chest was a feeling he would not forget in a long time. He could feel his lips slightly curl up in fondness as your hands shook while your eyes wavered unsurely between your hands on the strings and the video on your laptop sitting further on the edge of the bed. Your face scrunched up before you sighed and stared dejectedly at the instrument on your lap.

“Why so sad love?" His voice made you instantly sit up, pushing the instrument gently off your lap. You crawled to the edge of the bed where Young K had already gotten closer where he met you tenderly running his hand through your hair, and he curved his hand around the back of your head bringing your forehead to his abdomen.

He brushed his thumb over where your hairline met the sensitive skin of the back of your neck immensely enjoying being back at your side. Your hands were clutching the back of his shirt, and your simple touch brought a warm feeling to his chest. You both leaned back as Young K’s chest started to rumble with laughter “You should have waited for me, it would have been easier if I could teach you”, he softly said, pushing your hair back from your face causing you to lightly laugh.

“I wanted to surprise you, but I didn’t get that far anyways. Can’t become a prodigy in one day I guess”. Young K smiled again, promising to himself to help you as much as he could as he put his hand fondly on top of your head.

“You’re doing so good, just move your finger up a little, you’re plucking the c chord instead of the e chord during the chorus, don’t look at me like that i’m trying to help?! I wouldn’t put you on my level, but I think you’re doing really well. I’m hungry now, what do you want? No- What do you want? I am okay with anything just tell me-”

Wonpil

Wonpil was trying his hardest not to think about you. From the way you got excited when you got to see the moon in the cloudy sky to the way you smiled when you saw the neighbor’s cat while getting the mail.

He was happy to be on a trip with her sister, he hadn’t had much time to be with her in recent, well forever really. While you had been invited, you hadn’t been able to attend due to work. Wonpil did his best to keep his mind off you and enjoy the trip, he just hadn’t spent this long without you in a while.

Even so, he still had a fun time with his sister and her boyfriend creating many memories. He didn’t regret it, but he was extremely happy to come back to you. Opening the door to your apartment, he dropped his suitcase by the door, an excited smile tugging at his lips as he traveled through the apartment with his arms spread knowing you would embrace him as soon as you saw him. He felt so giddy, he didn’t even notice the broken keyboard sounds ringing throughout the living space.

His smile fell in a comical way, his face morphing into one of confusion instead. He recognized a broken rendition of “Mary had a little Lamb”, and tilted his head as he opened the door to your room seeing you with really big headphones on your head staring down at the keyboard with the most offended look on your face.

How dare this keyboard not give you its secrets! Wonpil couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his chest, not mocking you, but he just thought you were so cute. He lightly touched your shoulder causing you to jump, and the slight movement of your head caused the headphones to slide off your head. It didn’t matter much. You instantly dove into his arms, pressing the side of your face against his chest.

He felt warmth flood his chest as his hand encased the back of your head while he pressed his lips to the top, closing his eyes in bliss enjoying having you in his arms again. He leaned back from the brace as his eyes flashed with amusement and yours with slight embarrassment. He lightly laughed, eyes crinkling. He cradled your face in his hands, a teasing lilt to his voice, “What were you trying to do, hmm?” He could feel your face grow hot under his finger tips.

“I was just trying to surprise you. I felt bad for not being able to go with you”. He shook his head, hands playfully pinching your cheeks as you whined. “You shouldn’t act that way, I understood from the beginning. It must have been hard for you. Here, come, your lovely boyfriend will make this easier for you”.

“Y/n the keys will not bite prEsS dOWn, no, no keyboards do not have to be oiled, this is a musical instrument not a mechanical vehicle. You are so cute. What am I gonna do with you? No, you can not play the keyboard with your forehead, DO NOT put your foot on the keys. I don’t care if it’s for the vine.

Dowoon

Dowoon was beating himself up. Looking back at what happened a few hours ago made his chest tight. He couldn’t help but wince at the words both of you had thrown at each other. You had been with each other for so long, and when his lovely mother asked him when he would propose, although with good intentions, it put pressure on him.

He was still young. He had mentioned it to you in a joking manner, but there was a misunderstanding and you thought he was blowing it off as he didn’t see a future with you.

Somehow feelings were hurt, and the fight escalated. And Dowoon decided he was a coward because it was when you had started stuttering through your words and avoiding eye contact, he knew. He knew he had pushed you across a line that might not be able to be crossed again.

He panicked. He was really good at doing that wasn’t he? He left. He took a bus and went to the nearest hotel he could find. There he was sitting on the edge of the too perfectly made bed with his head in his hands.

Had he just ruined his precious relationship because he was scared of what the future could or could not hold? Why did he have to run away? Why couldn’t he just stay? Most importantly, how badly had he hurt you?

With a sigh he stood up, and he got on the bus back to your apartment. Staring at the door, the fact you were just on the other side and hurting is what pushed him to open it with the key you had given him. Opening the door, he was met with silence and darkness. Have you already gone? He walked through the apartment, hope dwindling with every step.

Then he heard a soft thump thump thump. His heart seemed to match with it, and as he walked to his studio which held his spare drum set, he thought of what he could say to make it better. Opening the door, he saw you softly hitting the drum with one stick, as if testing the waters and humming along to “When you Love Someone”. Dowoon couldn’t fight the sad smile that broke out on his face, and the absolute warmth that filled his chest.

Why did he ever even doubt your future with him? There was no person more perfect for him than you. He stood next to you, softly taking your hand in his and guiding your hand to the right beat, although a bit broken. When your sad eyes looked up into his, forgiving in nature but still frustrated beyond belief, he knew he could still fix things. You were you, and Dowoon was Dowoon. You always somehow found your way back to each other.

“No no, put your hands higher on the stick, no lower, now higher...a bit lower. No, Y/n drum sticks do not belong in my throat. What do you mean I have no room to talk, I thought we were over the fight. I would marry you in this life and the next! Why are you looking at me like that? I am not cute, I am handsome and overflowing with testosterone. Oooh are those gummies?

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