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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

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Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 8

Warnings: ANGST! Idk if it's actually that angsty but I made myself sad. Very very brief mentions of kind of hurting yourself but not really? I actually can't remember what I wrote so if I miss something that needs a warning pls lmk

Word Count: 16.0k (fun fact: if you've read the whole series, you've read 105 pages single space)

A/N: y'all it's literally almost 1 am but I need to start this before I get crucified by the cult following I have created with this series. GIF credit @gavidaily

"You... are considering leaving Barca?"

Xavi looked at you with one brow raised. The same girl that had been fighting for her position at the club just 6 weeks prior was now thinking of quitting her job?

"You know Miss y/l/n, we are about to lose Antonio, and with how hard we push our players, we need to retain the largest amount of medical talent possible. You know that we think extremely highly of you and your ability, which is why you were selected specifically for this role. What can we do to make the job here at Barça more compelling than that of other clubs?”

You took a deep breath. You knew this question was coming. You had worked jobs and been in negotiations before. It would be a lot more expensive for them to hire someone new than to just give in to what they predicted would be a demanded increase in pay.

You looked at your lap, sighing with the weight of the feelings you had carried for God knows how long. It had sat on your subconscious, but was now bubbling to the surface, too powerful to be stopped. “Honestly, mister, I don’t think there’s anything that can be done.”

There’s a funny thing about women letting go. Some people call it the severance theory. Men are heavily guided by their emotions, contrary to popular belief. In a fit of rage they are capable of anything: screaming, blows - any number of crimes of passion. So when an extreme emotion overcomes them, be it sadness or anger or fear, they can end a relationship suddenly. Once they return to a base state of logic, that’s when the crawling back and groveling begins. Because they come to realize that her absence is a stronger pain than whatever drove him away. They exist in binary states: zeroes and ones. Either hatred or love. They don’t understand gradients or in-betweens. They don’t understand that there is another person who must also decide to return to the relationship.

Women on the other hand are much more resilient. It’s why we find the most gorgeous muses with the slimiest excuses for boyfriends. A woman will fall in love not with what she sees, but rather what she hears. What she is told. All the flowery, lovely promises about a glowning future, that’s what she clings to in the midst of a gray and bleak present. The soft whispers of “I love you” and “I don’t know how I would live without you” act as bandages, plugging the gaping wounds left by his actions. But her resolve slips the longer those promises go unfulfilled. The longer those holes go unfilled. She begins to see the truth of her situation, and realizes that the road she’s skipped down is a dead end. She imagines once again. She thinks of all the possible ways that he could change and be the man she wants. She searches for glimpses of it in his words, his movement, his aura. She does the silliest, most foolish thing a woman can do: she hopes. She holds on until not even her delusions can be a comfort. She realizes that there is no way for her to be happy with this man. That’s when she finally leaves. There’s no groveling, no tears, no remorse. It’s a clean severance of dead weight. She’s empty, and it lightens her being enough for her to walk away. There is no way to save it. The bridge has been burned and she was gone forever.

The funny part was, this didn’t just apply to men. That’s the thing about emptiness: it consumes everything. Loneliness is a black hole that swallows every ray of light that it encounters. That was your life recently. No light and no joy - not even sadness. You couldn’t feel anything strongly anymore. You picked up little habits to try and feel. You heated your food to scalding temperatures just to feel the heat on your lips. Your showers were icy, the pinpricks distracting you from the desire to cry. You no longer felt strong anger or desire or really anything. The color was slowly draining from your life, grays and sepias replacing the once vibrant existence around you. The beauty around you had mangled into gnarly trees and threatening uncertainty as you foolishly waited for the sun to peak through. But it had abandoned you. The sun had taken its rays and warmth elsewhere, almost mocking you as you shivered in the dirt. So maybe it was time to crate your own light: burn down the forest and start anew.

“Nothing? La, that can’t be true Doctora.”

Your eyes shot up at the title. There was, in fact, one feeling that you still sensed: pain. You could still feel physically pain, and inflicted it on yourself often just to experience an emotion. But nothing could compare to the sharp stabs and dull aches that lived in your heart. It was hard to look at Gavi without feeling like you wanted to fall on your knees. Realizing that you were in love was not beautiful or romantic. It was torturous, like snakes and thorns taking home in your throat. Reality was the salt in the wound; the knowledge that you two were destined to fail before you had began was a pill too big to swallow, suffocating you instead.

“If I can be honest, mister, I don’t feel like I belong here at Barça. I’ve been here for six months and I still don’t feel like part of the team. Maybe it’s just not a good environment or fit for me. That’s not something that can be fixed with just a salary increase. I just can’t tell if this is the place for me.”

Xavi looked at you, bringing his elbows to rest on the table and interlocking his fingers. He wanted to adamantly refuse, but there was truth to what you said. It was evident that there was a disconnect between you and the general environment of the team. You were close to some of the younger players, but had difficulty gaining the trust and respect of the older crowd and the medical staff. Your ideas for treatment were too modern - too far removed from what everyone else was used to. Hell, you were upsetting one of his players, and that was the opposite of your job as the support staff. But he would by lying if he said you weren't effective. The plan for Dembele that you had first presented got the striker back on the field weeks earlier than any other predictions. Your diligent maintenance had prevented players from getting injured as often, keeping the ones you were closest to on a strict exercise regimen, ensuring their continuous improvement. He cared for his players and his club. And if you were the miracle cure to keeping them healthy and playing, then he was going to keep you there, even if he had to tie you to the columns of Camp Nou.

"There must be something we can do to keep you. You're very familiar with the players and the equipment, as well as the workflow, and you're very good at your work. Hell, Gavi hasn't even had a cough since you started here, and he's quite accident-prone. Please let me know what I can possibly do to keep you with us."

"I really am not being shy or sneaky. I really have no demands. When then team heads to the UK for the game against Man U, I will visit the Chelsea facility and meet the staff. If I like what I see, I'll be moving there. I'm just... not happy here anymore."

There it was. The confession you had not even made to yourself. You were at the club of your dreams, living everything that your younger self had always wanted, and you just could not be happy. This was a disappointment that was hard to describe. Everyone always talks about shooting for the moon, but no one talks about what happens when you actually make it there. You work hard and your dreams become a reality: you're on the moon! But the moon is so, so far from Earth. And when you're cold and lonely and looking down on all of the people that could be loving you, then the moon doesn't seem so worth it anymore. When you realize the moon is just a rock, then what hope do you have left?

Thinking back, you recalled all the people that you pushed away to further your career goals. You think of the family gatherings and events that you missed to study and work. You think of all the friends you have lost touch with because they were never a priority. They were never smart or driven enough to keep up with you, and so they were left in the dust. You had a few, but none you could confidently say would pick up a call from you at 2am if you needed help. Boyfriends were even worse. Since your heartbreak in college, men had fallen to the wayside. You justified it to yourself, saying that you just needed to be successful, and you would attract someone at your level. Someone who wanted an equal. But here you were: alone, depressed, and thinking of running away from what you once thought was your life's purpose.

Before Xavi could respond, a loud thud from the hallway distracted the two of you, followed by shouts that chilled your blood.

"Gavi!"

You were out of your seat in seconds. There was no force that could stop you, feet and hands moving on their own accord as you entered the hall and laid eyes on the body on the floor. There was no air in your lungs or your larynx to make a sound, let alone scream.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your hearing was shot, like you were underwater. The faces of those surrounding were panicked, and all eyes were on you, shouts and points and calls for action flying straight over your head.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your stomach was twisting itself into elaborate knots, coiling tighter while pushing the bile further up your throat. Your eyes went in and out of focus, willing the scene in front of you to disappear. You blinked hard hoping for the image to change when your eyes opened again.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

"Doctora, please look at Pablo - he collapsed suddenly and we need to make sure he doesn't have a head injury. Move!" It was Antonio's hands on your shoulders and shouts that finally got you to move from your frozen position.

Kneeling over, Gavi looked even worse. His skin was pale, and he was crumpled like an aluminum can - limbs everywhere, like his life force had just abandoned him. You had to remove Gavi from the situation and pretend he was a practice dummy at school. You had to pretend he was plastic and rubber, because that's the only way you could go through head injury protocols with a calm mind. He couldn't be Pablo, because if he was, then the thought would have to fester in your head: Pablo was hurt when you had been distant. He was hurt because you had been distant. Worst case scenario, he could disappear from your life now, all because you hadn't been able to handle the proximity like a normal person. Your thoughts were spiraling now, painting scenarios of death and disease and making it even harder for you to stop the tremble in your hands.

But you had decided that his cold heap of flesh before you wasn't Gavi. It couldn't be. It wasn't even a person. You recited the head injury checklist under your breath: consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. Placing a hand on Gavi's neck, you felt a pulse, stopping you from performing CPR. The last thing you needed to do was unnecessarily crack a rib. You shook him several times, and received no response.

"Shine a light in his eyes!" "Shake him harder!" "Should we pour water on him? Get some water!" "You're not yelling his name loudly enough!"

You ignored the shouts of the peanut gallery, repeating the list like a mantra in your head. You would have time later to be angry at the staff for their utter uselessness in the situation, but right now, you just needed to keep going. Blood was pounding in your ears as you opened one of his eyelids. Consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. It snapped back into place, and Pablo's face was now in view. Other than his pale complexion, he looked perfectly at peace. His face was identical to the night you had spent sleeping next to him - sleeping atop him. His breathing was deep, as if he had spontaneously fallen asleep in the middle of the hallway. He was beautiful. And for the first time in days, it had allowed you to be filled with a warmth somewhat foreign to you now. Pablo was in your arms and beautiful, and you could not imagine how you were meant to go on with life seeing him every day and being denied this privilege. You didn't allow yourself to dwell on the thought. Breathing? Yes. Consciousness? No. That needed to be remedied.

"Pablo, if you can wake up now, it would be really helpful. Otherwise I'm going to have to cause you a lot of pain."

You waited for a response, but none came. You sighed deeply, moving your hands from the supple skin of his cheeks downwards, gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards, exposing the expanse of his chest. You made out the sounds of taunting and whistles, but they were promptly silenced by staff who reminded the crowd that this was not an appropriate moment for jokes. Forming a fist, you placed your knuckles on the center of Pablo's chest, pushing down and rubbing. Hard. His eyes shot open within seconds, and he threw your hand off, howling in pain. His breathing was shallow and panicked, vision erratic as teammates, coaches, and other staff all yelled questions and instructions at him.

"Everybody shut up! Let me do my job."

That was the voice he needed to hear. As the yells settled to murmurs, his breathing slowed and he began to see more clearly. His eyes fully focused on you, and it soothed the ache in his chest. His heart was racing faster than he had ever felt, causing Pablo to grab onto your shoulders to ground himself.

"Pablo, can you hear me?"

You were here. You were real. He could still hold you and feel you. He nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. The nausea that he had felt before he blacked out still lingered, and the last thing he wanted to do was projectile vomit on you. He flinched slightly at the feeling of your hand returning to his face, but settled quickly, listening hard to your instructions. There was nothing easier than focusing on the sound of your voice.

"Look at me." You said, shining a light in Gavi's eyes, checking for any hemorrhaging or internal bleeding. What a silly request, he thought to himself, squinting under the brightness. How could he look anywhere else when you were in the room? How could he ever tear his eyes from you? How could he waste a single second of you before him, especially with the prospect of you leaving at the end of the month looming?

"No bleeding. Are you experiencing any double vision?"

A headshake no. You instructed someone behind you to grab a bottle of water, and then turned back to Pablo.

"Good. What is your name?"

Gavi swallowed thickly, and took a deep breath before speaking. "My name is Pablo Gavi."

"Good. And who am I?"

"Ah don't worry, Doctora. Even with amnesia, I could never forget you." There was that stabbing feeling in your chest again. That feeling that accompanied Pablo's sweet words and kind eyes. The cold shard of reality that reminded you that he would fade away into an Instagram mutual in a matter of months.

"Alright, Gavi. No internal bleeding and no memory loss. We need to go through more of the concussion protocols and make sure you're okay, but we can do this in my office. Are you okay to stand?"

After a curt nod, you helped Pablo stand, and began walking with him towards your office. You informed Xavi of the next steps, and he told you to do whatever necessary to make sure his 'golden angry bird' was okay. But of course, you could never know a day of peace, as each one must be filled with the noise pollution that was Ferran's voice.

"If the door isn't open, just know that Pablito isn't moaning in pain." A round of snickers was heard from both players and staff. But before they had time to add on to the nasty comment, you swiveled around to face the group. You were seething with anger, and one very important realization came to the center of your mind.

You had nothing left to lose.

It was Pablo Torre who was closest to you, and he was the person that received the start of your wrath.

"What the hell are you laughing at? The fact that your teammate could have serious head trauma? Or at the fact that, with Gavi potentially out of commission, they might take you off the bench long enough for you to remember what grass feels like?"

He was silent instantly, eyes wide. He had never received words this harsh from anyone at the club. Or anyone not on Twitter. You turned to two more assistant physios, Luca and Gabriel, who stood next to him, still muttering to one another in hushed tones.

"And you two! Do you want to know why everyone has to rush and get me whenever someone hits their head? Because out of everyone here, I'm the only one that knows proper concussion protocols and how to identify trauma. I have more medical knowledge in my fingernail than in both of your heads combined. I have to take him to my office because you two are incompetent at your jobs! And instead of doing anything useful, this is how you occupy your time: slacking, cigarette breaks, speculating who I'm sleeping with, and doing absolutely jack shit when a player gets injured. So keep giggling like school girls. I can't wait to see you both giggling on the street corner while begging for spare change."

You held Gavi harshly, storming off to your office. Your speed and the bounce was making him nauseous, but he knew better than to speak in this moment. His chest had swelled with pride. He was patiently waiting for the day that you would put the guys in their place. None of them were bad people - it had just been a while since most of them interacted with a woman they didn't want to sleep with. Gavi loved that you were capable of defending yourself, but could not ignore the part of him that wanted to be the one to defend you.

Call it a toxic trait if you want, but Pablo had always taken pride in his ability to intimidate. He had eventually come to terms with the fact that he was done growing at a sweet 5'7, despite his desire to break at least 5'9 (because his friend Hanna at La Masia told him that was the shortest a girl would go for. Looking back, taking this information from a 5'10 female footballer was probably not the best idea he's ever had). It had taken a while, but after weeks of daily affirmations in the mirror about how short Messi was, he held his chin higher. Once he started receiving praise from fellow players, coaches, and media, Pablo gained more confidence in the fact that he could be part of the next generation of great Barcelona football. This allowed him to go up against any player with no worries or fear, winning headers against people with a foot of height on him. Pablo began building his upper body in the gym as well, compensating with strength. A broad and reckless teenager, there was almost no one he wasn't ready to take on.

He sensed that same quality in you as well: a desire to prove yourself, no matter the cost. But he didn't want you to. He never wanted to see you scowl or have to hear you yell (despite it being semi-hot). Pablo wanted to be your knight, whose sole purpose in life was making sure that you never experienced feelings but joy and pleasure. He wanted others to go through him before daring to speak to you. Because how could every person just have access to the beauty that is you? To the radiant soul and shimmering aura that fills the room? How could he be content with you shouldering the burdens of living in this world? Even if he never got to have you romantically, Pablo wanted to shield you from every harm in the world. And not a day went by when he didn't feel it.

This was one of those moments. He wished he was able to verbally berate Ferran for the garbage he spewed on a regular basis, but he could do nothing except let himself be dragged by you through the halls of the sports center until they reached your office, where he was promptly flung towards the exam table. He watched as you brought him your small office trash can, setting it beside the bed. He was brought back to your first month at Barca, when he had challenged you and been proven wrong. There was a confidence in yourself and your abilities that had dissipated from then to now. Pablo smiled stupidly as he remembered the excruciating pain and discomfort of trying not to throw up in front of the pretty physio. If only he had known then that it was nothing compared to the pain of holding back these feelings.

"Lay down on the bed. Look up at the ceiling. If you need to vomit, do it in there." You instructed curtly before moving to sit at your computer. Short nails clicked harshly against the raised keyboard, keys slamming down rapidly, sound reverberating around the room. Gavi wanted so desperately to flip over, lay on his stomach and stare at you. Just to see the curves of your face and the way your eyes reflected the light. But he looked up at the ceiling like you asked, more worried about pushing you further away than watching you type. He took several deep breaths. This didn’t feel like the last time he was concussed. Last time, he had felt his brain rattle against his skull, waves of nausea starting immediately. His head ad throbbed, spots forming on his vision. His jaw was clenched, and he could’ve sworn there was a crack down the center of his cranium, blood oozing out of it onto the practice pitch.

He remembered that day so vividly despite the head trauma. He had been livid, Ferran dragging him to a new and inexperienced physio. Gavi had interpreted it as sabotage to that Ferran could get the left wing back. And then he saw you. Angry that he was he wasn’t receiving treatment by the best, he couldn’t say he was upset to look at you. You were a stunning kind of beauty, young and lively and clad in cool gray scrubs. But you were three years older than him, wildly advanced and talented, and he couldn’t swallow his pride - especially not with this nausea. He could not swallow the fact that you looked so damn familiar. He had seen you somewhere before: those eyes had looked at him with that same distress and concern. But he could not place it for the life of him.

Pablo thought back to how sweet you had been to him that day. How you had encouraged him to take pride in himself and be confident in the fact that he deserved all the success he had seen. He was so overwhelmed that day. His brain was absolute porridge, and he was doing his best for it not to pour out of his ears, all while his cheeks burned under your gaze. He was too preoccupied by his desire to muster one ounce of hatred to replace the overwhelming admiration in his brain that he could not determine where the hell he had seen you before.

And now here he was, once again staring at the ceiling, head throbbing, and the thought came to him again: why did you look familiar? Despite having known you for half a year now, the feeling that there was history had not left him. It wasn't that you had a common face. There was something about the way you looked at him, with a knowing and sadness, that touched a part of his soul. Like you knew things he had never even admitted to himself. While he thought that was just your way of being, he was coming to realize that look was one reserved specifically for Pablo. Now he wasn't nauseous, and focused on the rhythmic sounds of keys being slammed. He poised himself to ask a question, but not the one gnawing at his brain.

"What're you typing so excitedly? Hopefully not your resignation."

You looked up in time to watch Pablo's chest heave with the breathy (and very fake) laugh that he forced out. Your fingers rested against the keyboard, pausing your aggressive typing. How did Gavi know about your plans to leave? Had he been listening at the door? How long had he been standing there before-

"Is that why you fainted in the hallway? Because I'm leaving the club?"

"So you've already decided that you're leaving? You aren't even going to wait until you see whatever shithole you've been offered a spot at?"

There was an emotion that made Gavi's voice wobble, and you couldn't pin it exactly, but it sounded akin to betrayal. You finished the last sentence of your email, the swooshing sound indicating the message had been sent. Pablo bit his lip and stared hard at the fluorescent light. He didn't want you to see the distress in his face, but he couldn't help it. He hated how the dynamic between the two of you had been so warm, so close to the spark he desperately sought, just to go back to how icy your interactions began.

You pulled up a stool to sit next to him, and grabbed a pair of gloves as you approached. You noticed the slight quiver of his lip, and turned away to put your gloves on. The deep sadness in his eyes, the way his body tensed, the voice like a hurt child - was this all because of you?

"I was doing what I should've done my first week working here: I sent an email to HR about Ferran's nasty comments. Barca can't have a sexual harassment scandal right about now, especially not during the transfer window. And if they fire me, then they..." Your voice trailed off, throat closing up. It was still hard for you to process the possibility.

"If they fire me, then that's one less decision that I have to make."

You ran a gloved hand across his crown, feeling for any bumps or lacerations because of his fall. You felt worse the longer you continued the exam, the feeling that this was your fault sinking in. You had pushed Pablo away wordlessly after brining him in so close. But the majority of your brain screamed back at you how selfish it would be to drag Pablo into your black hole, ruining his career so that he could run after a girl who didn't even feel. If the sun in its greatness could not warm you, then how could ask this of Pablo?

"Now we need to talk about your fall in the hallway. It's quite obvious that you fainted but-"

"Were ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to freeze me out until you left the country?"

Gavi propped himself up on his elbows, eyes meeting you directly. You didn't know what to say. You couldn't tell him how you felt, especially not now. Not right before you disappeared.

"Have you ever fainted like that before? What have you eaten to day?" You asked, moving to throw away your gloves. "If you're having frequent spells of losing consciousness, then we need to have your blood iron tes-"

"Are you being serious right now, y/n? You're on the verge of quitting your dream job, packing up and leaving the country, and isolating yourself from everyone who cares about you, and you're asking about my blood iron? No."

Pablo stood, getting off the table faster than someone with a head injury should. He walked towards you, anger evident.

"No. You don't get to change the subject and talk about my iron. Or sit and try and diagnose me with anything. You know that I'm perfectly healthy. Want to know why I fainted? I'll tell you, Doctora."

Gavi was right in front of your face now, heavy breath fanning against your skin. You swallowed thickly, breathing just as heavy as you met his blazing stare. For the first time in weeks, your eyes started to moisten. Why was this scolding from Pablo going to bring you to tears?

"Because from the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt like I knew you. I don't know if I saw you on the street or in a dream, but a part of my brain recognized you, and since then I've been in pain. Pain that you can't even help me with. Nobody can. It's so hard to watch everyone take advantage of you all the fucking time. It tears me apart constantly. But it let me get closer to you. You let me get closer. And I tried so hard to keep it at bay, to be the friend that you need."

Pablo was now cupping your face, holding it like it was the only thing that would tether him to the earth. He rested his head against yours, and suddenly it was too much. All the feelings that had escaped you for so long were coming back all at once, stacking on top of each other and smothering you. Your eyes welled with tears, and you wished the ground would swallow you whole to escape Gavi's piercing eyes looking straight through you.

"But you have to know that I don't just see you as a friend, Doctora. You have to know, even if you don't feel the same way, that I am -"

"We met before I got my job here. That's why you recognize me."

Gavi let go of your face, taking a step back. He looked at you with confusion and hurt. You both knew what he was about to say, and he couldn't understand why you wouldn't just let him get it off his chest. And as selfish as it was, you just couldn't take it. Pablo deserved better - someone that would lift him up, not hold him back. And if he said it, if it was out in the open, then you would never be able to put his needs first.

"The week of my interview, I went to pick up Angelika from the club. Angel went to get her from the VIP section and he left me in charge of keeping an eye on you."

"You... were watching me while I was drunk?" Pablo's brain was processing a thousand things at once. You had met him and remembered him? What had he said while drunk to make you hide that fact from him?

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

There were so many ways to answer this question that you didn't know where to begin. How could you explain to Gavi that you had been so captured by his beauty that night that it had thrown you off your axis, making you wonder if you had died and this was the angel sent to guide you to the pearly gates? How could you describe the intense pull Pablo had over you, tugging at your soul, urging you to stay with him? How were you to say the way your heart broke on his behalf, wanting to hold him in your arms and protect him from everything that made him feel less than the most special person alive? All you had wanted was to kiss him, to pull him in, to never let him go. But none of the words materialized. Because to you, the cruelest thing you could do to Pablo was keep pulling him into you. He was pure light, and you couldn't bear the burden of being the one to extinguish it.

"It was an insignificant moment in a club. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't even remember until Pedri reminded me when I started."

There it was. The sentence that made Gavi crack. You watched the hurt seep into his features, and a heavy air filled the room. Brows coming together, he looked at you expectantly, waiting, praying, that you would take it back.

"Meeting me was ... insignificant?"

Eyes locked, there was nothing you could say that would erase this moment. You swallowed the lump in your throat, playing with your fingers. You spun the ring you wore around your finger, trying to occupy your mind with anything other than the thought that you were the human embodiment of garbage.

The silence remained, growing thicker with each passing second. It enveloped the both of you, tendrils wrapping around and ripping the two of you apart, fraying whatever string of fate had brought you together.

"You think it was just a coincidence, meeting me in the club weeks before we become coworkers? Friends? Something... beyond that...and you think that coincidence was so forgettable that it wasn't even worth mentioning?"

There it was. The cold front that you put up, the one that pushed everyone away, no matter how hot their love for you burned. You were the ice princess, destined to go through life cold and untouchable and alone.

"Some people you just meet, Pablo. It doesn't mean they're meant to be together. I needed to get my friend out of the club and I just ran into Angel. He left me in charge of you so that you wouldn't do anything stupid or childish while drunk. I was in a club babysitting an 18 year old kid who was pouring his heart out to me while wasted. I didn't say anything to save you from the embarrassment."

That was the straw that broke Gavi's heart. He stormed towards the door, unable to look at you any longer. Had he really been lead on; allowed to believe that you were his friend, or at the least respected him, when this entire time you just saw him as a little kid. His last line to you was spoken so softly you almost didn't hear it over the deafening slam of the door.

"They're going to love you in England."

"Your English is very good for someone educated in Spain."

You looked up at Steve, flashing a practiced professional smile that showed no indication of offense at the objectively offensive statement.

"Thank you, Dr. Hughes. I did complete my baccalaureate degree in the United States, but I'm glad the last two years in Barcelona have not damaged my language."

Now it was his turn to laugh uncomfortably as he lead you through the garish blue halls of Stamford bridge. The entire plane ride you had told yourself that this could be the fresh start you needed. This could be the opportunity to turn your life around, and so you should approach it with fresh eyes and an open mind. But the walls were hurting your eyes, the blue and white making you think of Martin in his kit. You were lead into the trophy room, which was a lot smaller than you were used to.

"Here you can see some of the club's shining moments. We have had an... interesting season this year, but you know that performance fluctuates between seasons. We hope to be back on top again very soon, especially with an entirely new medical team coming on board."

You scanned the shelves and glass cases, admiring the look of trophies you were familiar with, and ones you had never seen before.

"An entire new medical staff? No one is staying on?" You asked, confused. What kind of club replaced everyone all at the same time? Usually at least one person remained to pass the torch, to maintain familiarity. It set warning bells off in your head.

“Ah, well, many of our staff members were quite loyal to Dr. Henry, you know he was here for 17 years after all. So they all followed him out. But we are excited to usher in a new wave of sparkling young medical talent!”

You swallowed hard, still feeling from the information. You still hadn’t finished your degree, and yet you were being offered a head position at what was supposed to be a huge and well-respected club. You couldn’t help but think of the blaugrana.

Something flitted in your chest, a feeling that surrounded you whenever you walked into the camp. The feeling of family, like you were home. The coldness of Steve’s answer didn’t spark anything close to that feeling. Not every workplace needed to be a part of your heart, a new family. These days. You had no idea what your family was supposed to be, or if you had one at all. Your brain begged you to ask what the environment was like, how close the staff was, what created such a high level of loyalty that they would all follow this man wherever he went, abandoning club and home. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, asking instead,

“Do you only display the most recent. Champions League trophy?”

More laughter from Steve, but of the fakest nature. “Yes we have one on this side, one on the other. They’re … ehem, all of our UCL trophies are displayed here.” Your cheeks warmed with subtle embarrassment. You knew nothing about this room or this club, and if you were honest with yourself, you had no desire to. You missed Barca. But you had to give this club its chance – an honest shot to be your new home.

The two of you continued through the halls as Steve showed you all the medical equipment and facilities that would be at your disposal should you accept. At the end, he led you to the players’ lounge, offering you a seat. The blue had given you a baby migraine, and you were incredibly grateful for the ability to sit and rest. You refused the gracious offers for food, sipping on a bottle of water to dull the throbbing against your skull. You searched the room for something, something familiar – a face, a number, to make you feel like everything was going to work out in the end. But it never appeared, the bright colors and foreign faces more of a discomfort than anything else.

"Make yourself comfortable, Doctor. Let me get some of the players that you'll be working with, and you can hear from them what the environment is like."

You nodded sweetly, sitting up straight with ankles crossed in the way Princess Diaries taught you to. As the footsteps faded slowly into the distance, a sigh passed between your lips. What were you doing? Despite the lecture given to yourself on the uncomfortable plane ride over (Chelsea would only pay for economy), it had all gone out the window. Your gut was in knots, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the screen lit up in your hand to read "One Football: FC Barcelona vs Manchester United - Starting lineup now available." The notification had been pressed before you registered what was going on. Your eyes scanned the list just to land on one name. Your mind went back to the last conversation the two of you shared. The most venomous words had slipped past your lips, and you had finally done it: you pushed the last person who cared for you away. The sentiment was harsh. How could anyone ever recover a relationship after shattering it so completely? Despite how much much it hurt to grip the broken shards so tightly, you held on nonetheless, packing Gavi's hoodie in your bag, the '6' embroidered into the pocket cutting open a gaping wound in your heart, and yet you enjoyed its presence there.

"Doctora, I'm pleased to introduce Kepa and Christian. They have been with the club for a while, and they would be happy to answer all your questions."

"A scoreless first half here at Old Trafford as both Barcelona and Man U return to the locker rooms for half time. As we saw Pedri went down in those final minutes of the half, and we've received a report that he is out for the rest of the match. His injury status is unknown, but if the magician is out of commission, this could be a very easy steal for United."

The sounds of fists slamming against lockers was loud enough to be heard all the way home in Spain. Pedri Potter, the star, the leader of Barca's new era, was now in icing his right hamstring in some medical examination room, while the rest of the team scrambled to figure out a scenario in which they would win without him in a mere 15 minutes. Gavi bounced his leg anxiously, eager to see his friend and make sure he was okay.

"Listen up boys. We can win this game without Pedri. The score is now 1-0 to Man U, and all we need to do it score once to tie. Then we are back home, our turf and our fans. Robert, Rapha, your goal is to put the ball in the net. I don't care what you have to do. The middle, you need to get the ball in a good position for these two. That means Gavi, you'll be- Gavi pay attention!"

Head snapping up, Pablo's eyes met Xavi's directly. He knew he should be paying attention - this was the first of several games that needed to be won until they reached a trophy. He needed to be on his A-game, and yet, his mind was drifting. He wished it was just concern over Pedri capturing his attention. But in the corners of his mind, your voice lingered. "Babysitting... insignificant... embarrassment." All words you had used when talking about him as he was on the verge of pouring his entire soul out onto the linoleum for you. He didn't understand the anger that flowed through him. It was a sense of ... incompleteness. If you had let him finish, let him say the words that he didn't fully understand, then he would have been okay. He would have watched as you kicked his beating heart against the wall, telling him that you could never feel that way towards him. He would have been okay: relieved. But you had left him dangling off the edge of a cliff, with no relief in being pulled to safety nor mercy in being allowed to fall.

Xavi gave his instructions to the midfield and the defensive line, going over the weak points that needed to be addressed.

"Pedri is most likely out for the next eight weeks, missing both the next match and the SuperCopa, so this is your opportunity to adjust to playing in high-stress situations without him."

Gavi's head raised fully at this. Eight weeks? It has been forever since someone was out for that long. Since the beginning of the season... since you had joined the team. A pinch in Pablo's chest. His brain repeated over and over that the best thing to do was let you go. To let you be your own person, grow and be independent, saving himself the heartache because the one girl he wanted was the one he couldn't have. Yet his heart held on with an iron grip. It refused to release you, reminding him of every sweet moment shared in cars and offices and bedrooms. It was quick to forget the pain of being perceived as a child. Pablo's heart begged him to wait for you, because it was incapable of letting go of a devotion so intense. His heart ached for you, longing for the day he be deemed worthy enough to love you wholly and completely.

"Eight weeks is insane - we have never gone that long with our midfield handicapped. Is there no way to speed up recovery? Who gave the estimate?" Robert asked, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Luca is the only one from the medical staff who is here right now. He is the one who made the determination. Of course, the rest of the staff will be free to reevaluate when we return home. But Luca will be the one continuing with the course of treatment, and so we will go with his estimate."

"What? Where is y/n?" The question came from Alejandro, followed by hushed agreement. Even if you were not the first point of contact for all the players, you were a team staple, becoming as familiar to them as the crest embroidered on their uniforms. The older players had watched as you performed medical miracles on their teammates that rivaled what Jesus did for the blind, allowing the team to prosper all season. 15 points at the top of the table, and at least half had your name on them. The youngers had felt your impact directly, following your instructions like gospel. They knew how much care you showed to every single one of them, from the starters to the bench warmers. Your hands had put them back together. A touch of you lingered in all the success achieved, and your absence felt closer to abandonment than anything else.

"You should ask Pablito - he would be the first one to notice that his girlfriend wasn't on the flight." Ferran's voice: the closest human equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. After everything that had taken place, it was a wonder he still had the energy to be an ass.

"Maybe you should ask Ferran about his HR investigation, which is a main reason that she's touring the Chelsea facility fight now. Hey, maybe you'll see her this summer when you get sold there. They're always looking for people to keep the bench warm while the important players are on the field." Gavi spoke calmly and evenly, like he was stating pure fact. He stood, leaving the room to avoid the round of questioning that was about to occur regarding HR and the doctora's new home.

The click of Pablo's cleats echoed loudly in the hallway a she approached the medical room, where Luca was fumbling with bandage and his laptop, while Pedri waited on the exam table like a fish at the market. His head turned at the sound of Gavi's approach, and he gave a weak smile to the younger player.

"I finally pushed it too far. Great timing, eh Hermano? It's only a Champion's League, a SuperCopa, and a potential classico that I'll miss. Nothing significant."

Gavi could do nothing but let out a slight laugh, cupping Pedri on the back of the neck. His heart hurt for his friend. This is what every player dreamed of: playing for cups, winning with the team of their dreams. And Pedri was going to miss all of it because they had relied on him to heavily, asked him to bridge too many gaps.

"Please don't say that word to me ever again. Luca, how's it looking? Eight weeks seems a little excessive for a sprain." Gavi knew that Luca was doing something wrong. Or stupid. Or, the most likely option, both. When Ansu had sprained his hamstring, he was back on the field in 28 days under your care. Alejandro had a minor tear in his meniscus, and yet still he was faster than the speed of sound 6 weeks later. Now there was no you. No melodic voice explaining muscle strain and stride length and tissue recovery. Just a stupid, lanky Spaniard in free Barca merch putting "leg hurts" into Web MD and seeing what he can diagnose with this time.

"Why don't you let the medical professionals do their job, Gavi, and you go back to putting your head in front of peoples' feet."

Looking to quickly diffuse the situation, Pedri turned to his friend, wanting to stop looking at the man who might end his football career with a wrong move and an 'oops'.

"I'll just let y/n look at it when I get back home. She'll fix me up in no time. That is, if you give me one of your spots on her schedule."

"Yeah, that's if she even comes back to work."

Pedri looked at the younger boy with confusion. It had been several weeks since he had seen Gavi with his favorite physio. Initially, he thought the crush had faded - that Pablo had found another pretty thing to maintain his interest, and you had fallen to the wayside with the other failed football loves. But Pablo was so clearly unhappy. He was more irritable, spending more and more time on his phone while avoiding the group all together. He sat silently in Pedri's passenger seat, screen illuminating his face but remaining silent.

[Doctora]: Good morning Pablo - running late. Will bring you an apology smoothie

[Doctora]: im going to need you to send me a video of you tying your shoes as proof

[Doctora]: i'll tell you when i see u tomorrow

Gavi had spent two weeks going back over every message you had ever sent him. He watched the way your tone changed from proper and professional to something lighter, more friendly and familiar. Over and over your voice played in his head.

"Pablo."

Pride be damned. He missed you. As he stood behind his teammates, whispers about the staff still whirling around the tunnel, it dawned on him. Barca, the club of his dreams, the fantasy of his childhood, would never - could never - be complete again if you left.

"And we're back in Old Trafford for the second half of this UCL match between the Historic FC Barcelona, and the red devils of Manchester United."

"That's incredible that you went to school there! I'm a ride or die for their basketball team, so you already have my respect."

You flashed Christian a smile - a real one, the first genuine display of joy you've been able to muster in a while. Both of the players had shown a genuine interest in getting to know you, trying to sell you on the idea of joining the club. Kepa had gushed over how much he loved living in London, citing his experiences as a fellow Spaniard.

"You're around so many Spanish speakers at the club, you hardly miss home."

Christian, the more injury-prone of the two, talked about his experiences with the medical team, and the close relationships he had built there. All of the medical team had become family to him in some way or the other. It calmed your previous anxieties. Maybe it was just a fear of change keeping you tethered to Barca, and all you needed was time to adjust.

"I think you'd get along really well with the other players, of course, the ones that opt-in to working with you."

This statement from Christian caught the attention of both you and Steve, who rushed over before you could ask for clarification. Opt-in? How could you opt-in to medical treatment?

"Miss, I think that Kepa and Christian have both done a wonderful job of providing just a small taste of what it means to be part of the Chelsea family. We don't want to keep them from afternoon training."

You said your thanks and goodbyes, but before they left Kepa turned to you, as if suddenly struck with a lightening bolt of realization.

"You're the Barca physio that works with Gavi, right?" He asked in Spanish. "He mentioned a girl physio during international training."

Another knot in your stomach at the mere mention of his name. "Yeah that would be me."

Kepa's face shifted, brows downturned and lips pursed. "Let me give you my contact information, in case you have any more questions." This line was in English, spoken more in Steve's direction than in yours. He approached, taking the phone from your hands and switching back to Spanish.

"Don't leave Barca. Gavi talked about you a lot during the break. They respect and value you a lot there - don't throw that away." He handed the phone back to you as you tried to contain your expression, suppressing the shock you felt from displaying itself on your features. What could Pablo have said that would make this man go out of his way to prevent you from joining this club? What had been so compelling that Kepa worked against his own best interest?

It was now just you and Steve in the room, and you turned to him, his skin flushed, to ask about Christian's little slip.

"There was something mentioned about players opting out of treatment?"

"Ah, just a small clause in your contract. Just says that players can choose not to be treated by club medical staff and find their own if they feel uncomfortable. It's all there in the paperwork somewhere. You can call my assistant if you read over it again and have more questions. Now, I know that you need to go soon, but I wouldn't be able to let you go without meeting one of our new signings. Someone else who knows what it's like to decide to make the shift from La Liga here to the old PL. Come with me."

You rose from your seat, migraine returning from the stress onset. What was being kept from you? Obviously you hadn't read your employment offer close enough. You walked through the passages somewhat mindlessly, following Steve with your body as your mind drifted elsewhere. What was being hidden from you?

"Joao, nice to see you again! This is Doctor y/l/n, and we're trying to convince her to make the same switch from Spain to London."

All of your medical education had told you that the masticator and other jaw muscles were voluntary; that they could be controlled and moved when you wanted. Not today. Your jaw went slack, and it refused to shut as you stared at the Portuguese beauty before you. There was no way. How had you missed the news of his move. How unprofessional was it to say 'pinch me' during what was essentially an interview.

"Nice to meet you, Doctora. I'm quite relieved that I don't have to speak in English - apparently my accent is not as good as I thought."

Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You had yet to say anything or even shut your mouth. Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You laughed lightly at his statement, muscles moving independently of the pudding that was your brain currently. Joao Felix was shaking your hand.

"I'm sorry, it's so nice to meet you, I'm just a little overwhelmed. You're one of my favorite players in football right now. I've been following you since your debut. Oh my God."

It was Joao's turn to laugh, a light and glorious sound. You had made him laugh. You wished someone was recording so you could send the video to Angeliika. And your mom. They would both go into cardiac arrest. His skin turned slightly pink as he scratched the back of his head, flattered by the admiration of someone so accomplished (and, as he would later reflect, gorgeous). Despite not understanding a lick of Spanish, Steve knew he had made a winning move by introducing you to Joao. The two of you leaned into each other as you spoke, and he motioned towards the field, inviting you to a stroll around the turf to chat.

All of your pride and prejudice fantasies were being realized in this moment. You were taking a polite stroll around the grounds with a man that you had salivated over while watching football on TV. A golden boy and future champion. He was something incredible. Witty and charismatic and easy to talk to. Everyone says not to meet your heroes, and yet here you were, floating several inches above the ground beside Joao.

"So, what club are you moving from? Can't be something in Madrid - I would remember you."

Lord, this was too much. You gave a silent thanks to the heavens, all the good karma you had accumulated throughout your life manifesting on this day.

"Oh no, not a Madrid club. Just a small Catalan club called Barca. Heard of it?" You teased as Joao stopped in his tracks. It was his turn to go wide-eyed and slack jawed.

"You're the Barca girl physio? I have heard of you! One of the physios at Atleti is your classmate. He said you're crazy smart."

How were you staying alive when all the blood in your body was in your face? How had so many people in the football space heard your name with you blissfully unaware. The smile on your face was not just due to the compliment. Maybe there were people ready to be there for you, and you just needed to reach arm out to them.

The conversation came to a close as you watched other groups come onto the field, preparations being made for upcoming matches. You thanked Joao for his time, once again involuntarily gushing about how surreal this experience was.

"Ah, there's really no need. The pleasure was all mine. I hope that I'll get to see more of you, Doctora, no matter what decision you end up making." Stretching his arm out, pulling you in for a hug. He enveloped you, arms wrapped tightly around your frame in a way that was borderline inappropriate for a goodbye. He smelled heavenly, the warmth radiating from his body akin to a fireplace. This was the stuff of dreams and imagination.

And yet, Joao was not the name on your mind. He way he smelled was beautiful and yet unfamiliar. Your thoughts traveled back to the last hug like this you had shared with someone. To the scent of One Million and powdery deodorant, mixed with something that couldn't be bottled. To the feeling of strong arms sitting lower on your waist. To brown hair and brown eyes and a brown leather couch. To white shirts and white bedsheets. To the soft voice and smooth voice that called for you.

"Doctora."

Logic be damned. You missed Pablo. And then the empty expanse of your soul filled with a feeling of dread. You had made a mistake. So many mistakes. Pushing away Pablo, lying to your friends about how much you needed them. Considering another job. Nothing in the the blue and white had given you even 1% of the feelings you experienced walking into Camp Nou every day. But you would never be able to go back if Gavi was angry with you. Ferran was cattle waiting to be sold. Gavi was a contender this year's golden boy, a powerhouse on the field, a bright star for both club and country. You reached into your bag, staring at his name in your phone. But your fingers shook too violently to press the call button. You remembered the hurt on his features, the way he couldn't even look at you as he passed in the halls. You weren't ready to see [Call Declined] appear on your screen. Instead you rested your phone on your lap, reaching in to retrieve your Chelsea contract.

Obviously, your eagerness to run away from your current life had blurred your vision. On page 22 of 31, there is was in what appeared to be a smaller font than the rest of the agreement.

"Under FIFA and British Football regulation, players may refuse treatment from club-appointed medical staff for any reason, including but not limited to feelings of fear, discomfort, lack of safety, and lack of confidence. Providers will be compensated on a fee-for-service basis, where compensation is scaled based on the number of players consistently treated. Should more than 40% of players request alternative treatment, the club may terminate the contract with the provider before the term of the contract has elapsed."

Your eyes widened, brows knitted together in confusion and borderline disgust. Women in medicine were already at a disadvantage, and that increased tenfold for women in sports medicine. Should the players feel uncomfortable with you because of your sex or age, you could spontaneously be out of a job after picking up and moving your whole life?!

Before you could pick up the phone and tell Steve that he would need to find someone else to fill this cursed position, a buzzing came from your bag. Who was calling your work phone?

"Hello?"

"Good evening Doctora y/l/n, hope that your visit at Chelsea went well." Andreas was Xavi's secretary, and he was the closest thing you would ever get to the cast of The Devil Wears Prada. He was rather cold in the way that he spoke, but never rude. Well dressed and straight to the point - commanding of respect.

"Went very well, Andreas. I got to meet-"

"Mister Xavi has asked for your presence on the flight back to Barcelona to discuss your future with the club. It is of the utmost importance that this meeting occur as soon as possible. So you need to be in Heathrow by tonight at 11pm for check in with the rest of the team."

"But my flight back to Barcelona is tomorrow and I-"

"You'll be fully reimbursed for the cost of changing your travel. We are leaving from Terminal 2. Have a wonderful evening."

Just like that, you were wondering how fast you could pack everything and leave in the next 6 hours when your personal phone buzzed in your lap.

[Pablo]: I know u said u need space but

[Pablo]: i rlly need to talk to u

[Pablo]: can i meet you somewhere?

Heart racing, you typed back as fast as you could with trembling fingers, telling him that you would be so happy to meet him, giving him the address of a café near your hotel. You didn't want him to see what your salary could actually afford (since Chelsea didn't cover your travel accommodations). You let out a sigh of relief. He wanted to see you. He wanted to speak with you. He wasn't completely lost.

Packing had been fast - you had only brought the essentials to London to avoid paying a bag fee on the budget airline you had traveled. Fixing yourself in the mirror, you let out a deep sigh. What were you even going to say to Pablo? Begging for forgiveness seemed the most logical choice. You practiced your apology in the mirror, and yet froze every time. How would you respond when he asked you why? Why it had been so easy for you to push him away, to strike him down, to make him feel so utterly unimportant to you and your life? You didn't know how you would respond.

Feelings of the heart are often the easiest to articulate. They're not like emotions. Emotions are straight forward: happiness, anger, sadness, jealousy. Things that were caused by one identifiable source, and could be expressed easily with words and actions. But the matters that went beyond feeling, those were the most difficult to understand, let alone communicate. Despite his form, it wasn't lust that drew you into Pablo. Those thoughts had made you breathe heavy and push your thighs together. The glimpses of Pablo's bare form were painted on the edge of your mind, soft skin and hard muscle, inviting you in for a touch, a taste. It was an exciting idea, but not the one that riled you up the most.

No, it was something different. It was a scene that had plagued your mind for weeks upon end, always causing you to wake in a cold sweat with a tightness in your chest, breaths labored. You pictured yourself laying on Pablo's bare chest, drawing circles on his skin as his heart beat rhythmically for you to listen to. As you drifted off, he would place a kiss on the top of your head, running a soothing hand down your spine. It wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer into him, as he whispered softly.

"Mine."

It was a magnetic pull that Pablo had, a force of nature that you were unable to escape. It could be described as nothing other than desire, like you would make the world stop spinning until the two of you were united. There was a higher force tying you to Pablo, and etched in your bones was a knowledge that you would never be able to leave him. But the sentiments died on your tongue before they could ever take to the air, never to fall on the ears of a certain Spaniard.

As your heels clicked against the city pavement, a sense of calm washed over you. He had reached out to you. There was an olive branch being extended. He was ready to hear what you had to say. Yet upon entering the small space, a different voice called out your name.

"Pedri?"

It was impossible to hide the disappointment in your voice. You had built up the confidence to come here solely based on the premise that Gavi wanted to see you. Your ego had deflated, back to feeling like utter garbage for the way you had treated the person who, in reality, was your closest friend. Before the self pity could fully sink its claws in, you noticed the full-leg brace that Pedri was sporting.

"I'm sorry that I used Pablo's phone to text you - didn't have your personal number, and it would be a little... salt-in-the-wound-ish to ask him for it right now. Especially since you asked him not to speak to you."

"I never said that!" You exclaimed a little more enthusiastically than intended, causing a couple people to glance in your direction. Pedri escorted you to a table in the corner, offering to go and get you a coffee to fight the chill of a London January.

"No please. It's completely fine. You shouldn't be standing with a torn muscle anyways."

Pedri looked at you inquisitively. He had not seen you in a while, especially with you and Gavi not on speaking terms. He had missed the quips and sarcastic comments he was able to catch during training. He missed the feeling of safety whenever you cared for himself or others on the field, as he knew that you were to be trusted with their bodies. He missed the fire you sparked in Pablo, leading to unparalleled passion and unprecedented performances. The air of natural confidence that you spoke with is what brought the smile to his face. Not hesitation or wobble in your voice. No need to consult a dozen others. Medically, you knew your shit.

"A tear? Luca told me it was only excessive strain on my hamstrings."

A scoff and an eye roll that widened Pedri's smile. "I wouldn't let Luca perform medicine on a Barbie. That's the wrong kind of brace if it's a sprain. It's immobilizing. You need something with compression - a thigh sleeve most likely. Have you been icing it?"

"How could you leave Barca when your successors are idiots like Luca?" His arms folded across the table in front of him as the realization spread across your features. You were acting like his physio on impulse.

"How did you know I was thinking about leaving?"

"Everybody knows. No one could focus on today's second half because of it. When I went down everyone was scrambling to find you and call you. Everyone, myself included, was waiting for you to run across the field, bag in those magic hands ready to come and give me a new leg. But then you weren't there. And I was just praying that Luca didn't schedule me for an amputation."

A shy smile and a breathy laugh. You met his kind eyes, piercing though you. It was surprising when you felt the wetness on your cheeks, registering you were crying only after the tears had rolled down to your chin. He brought his chair in closer, holding your hand, and you held on for dear life. Your tears were falling in earnest now, fat and fast enough to hit the table as you used Pedri as a lifeline.

"Come back to Barca."

"I can't Pedri. I've... I've just made such a mess of everything."

"You're talking about Pablo."

"I'm talking about everything. I have a player that actively hates me and is looking for every opportunity to get me fired. Everyone on the team thinks that I'm sleeping with Pablo. And Pablo - I can't even explain how much I messed up. I told him to stay away from me. To give me space. I don't want space." You rested your forehead against the cool wood of the table. "I just want him to talk to me. When you sent me that message I was so excited. I thought he was ready to forgive me."

"Don't worry for a second about Ferran. We heard about the complaint to HR and I'd be happy to speak on your behalf about the dogshit he says to you. Everyone with a brain knows you're not sleeping with Pablo - they all have so much respect for the work that you do. Dembele came to me after the match and told me to contact you. He said your first assignment for Barca was to work on his leg recovery, and it was the best treatment he's ever had." You raised your head, tears turning your eyes red and puffy as they stained your cheeks.

"This may be selfish of me to say, but I would do anything to have you stay at the club and work with me. I can't miss all of these cup games because the physios don't know what's going on. This is everything I have ever wanted in my life. And if you're the person that can help me get there, then nothing, especially not Ferran and the other airheads at the club, are going to hold me back."

He moved to grab your other hand as well, looking you straight in the eyes. There was not one indication that he was exaggerating his sentiments. He wanted to win more than he wanted to breathe.

"And Pablo? Don't worry about him."

"How can I not worry, Pedri. I was so cruel to him. He'll never speak to me again."

"Doctora, don't you know that there's no one on this earth he holds in higher regard?"

The terminal was surprisingly quite busy upon your arrival. It seemed that everyone was catching an international red-eye, causing you to stumble through crowds with your small bag and exhausted demeanor. You approached the airport staff, utterly lost in trying to find the meeting place. It was 10:56pm, and you didn't have the money to be missing the company-sponsored return flight.

"Excuse me, I'm with the F.C Barcelona team. Where can I check in for my flight?"

"I don't remember them becoming a unisex team.'' Your expression remained neutral as the staff member chuckled at his own joke. You didn't have time to give a lecture on the dangers of misogyny. "I need to see your Barca ID."

"I don't have my team ID badge, but if you let me speak to-"

"Don't you women have something better to do than try and fuck a footballer? Lord, you even have a suitcase and everything. I suggest that you go home and stop with these little charades - it's embarrassing."

You stood speechless as the man walked away, stationing himself in a different area of the terminal. Behind you, screams were heard coming from the door, followed by flashes of light in rapid succession.

"Gavi I love you!"

"Pedri Pedri! You're my idol!"

"Xavi have my babies!"

Your attention shifted to the security guarding the entrance as the Barca squad filtered through the doors, all dressed in coordinated pale yellow. You speed walked towards them, pace catching the attention of one of the guards.

"Miss, you need to maintain space."

Gavi turned to look at the person that was causing a disturbance. Usually it was a child who had gotten a little too excited to see their favorite players, and often the soft spot in his heart compelled him to give them a picture or signature. It was hard to have your dreams crushed as a child by a celebrity that didn't care, and he was determined not to be that type of person. That's when his eyes locked with a pair oh so familiar to him. He stood in place, frozen as his teammates narrowly avoided bumping into him and causing an awful domino effect. It felt like forever since he last looked at you this way: like you were the only person in the room.

"Ah, Doctora y/n, glad Andreas was able to coordinate with you. Sir, she's with us." Xavi's word was law, as usual, and you were allowed to pass through with the rest of the group, ushered to a more private area of the terminal, the screams of fans echoing behind you.

Pablo watched as you stood alongside the coach, chattering away about God knows what. Eric and Pedri were beside him, making conversation about the new additions introduced in the FIFA update.

"Did you know she was going to be here?" Gavi asked, interrupting Pedri's rant about how expensive different skins and expansions were. He had been desperate to see you, thinking of all the ways he might reconcile once he saw you again. But not now. He wasn't ready to face you - not ready to be told 'no' again. For the first time in years, a cold vein of fear ran through him. Was this it? Were you handing in your resignation, coming to Spain only to collect your things before moving to the gray fogginess of the Premier League?

"Yeah. We had a little chat earlier." Say what you want about the IQ of footballers, but Pedri was incredibly intelligent. He himself had given up a career in medicine to explore football greatness. This meant he was smart enough to have deleted the messages that he sent from Pablo's phone before he did his 78th re-read of all your text messages. He was also smart enough to figure out that Gavi had wanted you practically since he laid eyes on you. Contrary to what many may think, Gavi didn't really look at girls. He was usually absorbed in conversation with a friend, whether in person or virtually, and was not prone to looking at every pretty girl that crossed his path. He was hard to please and even harder to impress. So when he started seeking you out more often, mentioning you during random drives, he knew that Pablito was infatuated.

It was several months, however, before Pedri realized the extent of Pablo's affection towards you. It had been during the international break, when Pedri sat and played FIFA with Nico, the only worthy opponent among La Roja. Pablo was half watching the game, half staring at the illuminated screen when he stood suddenly. Pedri watched from the corner of his eye as Gavi stepped out onto the balcony in shorts and his training shirt in the bitter chill of December. When the match had ended (3-1 to him of course), he followed the younger outside, and found him with his phone pointed towards the horizon. The sun in its retirement had painted the sky the most vibrant shades of oranges and pinks, bleeding into a royal purple. The hazy, circular glow kept the sky warm, and the colors stretched out over the wide expanse of the city, painting everything in the golden light of dusk. That's when Pedri heard the shutter click.

"Since when do you take pictures of the sunset?" He was teasing again. It was always fun to rile up his fiery teammate.

"I'm sending them to the doctora. It's so pretty, I want her to see it."

"Isn't she in Barcelona right now? She's probably looking at the same sunset."

"But it's just so beautiful from this high up." Gavi said, eyes still transfixed on his phone as he searched for the most worthy flick to send you. "I just want to send her something beautiful. I want to send her every beautiful thing in the world."

Yes, Pedri was a smart man. Smart enough to see that Pablo's feelings to you were stronger than he had ever experienced for another. Probably the strongest he had ever experienced at all. He was smart enough to approach Alejandro and Ansu, while Gavi chewed on his lip at the prospect of speaking to you, to organize the seating during the flight home.

"Don't get too comfortable, Doctora. You'll be joining me upfront for a chat after takeoff." You laughed politely at Xavi as he boarded the plane. You gathered your things, acutely aware of Ferran's gaze on you while you bent over.

"Have a good time at Chelsea? Try and ruin any lives while there?" He asked, voice laced with annoyance. HR had approached him about your complaint, informing him that they would be asking other players and staff about comments made at your expense. While he could keep his friends quiet, he had done too much to piss off Gavi, leaving him vulnerable to everyone in his camp. His only hope was to get you to leave before the investigation had concluded.

"I would prefer we didn't speak about non-professional matters. Thank you, Ferran." You said, smiling so sweetly he felt his teeth throb. You boarded the plane last with the rest of the staff, Luca rushing past you like he would be left behind if he wasn't seated soon. Glancing down at your ticket, you read out your seat number. Row 6, seat G. Walking onto the aircraft, you were stunned by the beauty of the first class cabin. It was furnished completely with plush leather, with every two or three seats getting their own dividers from the rest of the passengers. You walked to row 6, and made your way across the aisle to the right side of the plane where your seat was meant to be. In row 6, seat F, sat Pablo. He looked up at the aisle at the sound of shuffling, and the two of you just stared at one another, wordlessly communicating a shared hurt. All you wanted was to pull him in and say how sorry you were. You just didn't know if he'd be ready to accept.

"Um, I think I'm in the seat next to you." You told him sheepishly. He moved from his place, allowing you to sit next to him by the window.

"I thought the staff usually sits together." He said, trying to prevent it from sounding like a complaint, because it truly wasn't. He wondered what force of fate had allowed your seat to be placed next to his. Little did he know that fate was from the Canary Islands. You sat next to him, adjusting your seat and the belt, before bouncing your leg nervously. The speed increased when you felt the vibration of the engine, watching the plane move from its parked space onto the runway. You wanted to say something - anything - but your throat was dry and the words failed you. You didn't know what to say to ensure that you would be forgiven. That was probably the scariest part: knowing that the forgiveness may never come.

"Are you afraid of flying?"

You turned your head at the question. Gavi's eyes were fixated on your sweatpants-clad thigh as it bounced at incredible speeds. There were many things you were scared of in that moment, but the plane didn't help quell any of them. You were going to be stuck next to Pablo for the next two hours at the least. The anxiety of not knowing how he felt towards you gnawed at your skin, eating you alive. You nodded your head, because in all honesty, it was the same fear, wasn't it? Flying, falling - all terrifying prospects.

Gavi put one airpod in, extending the other to you. It was a peace offering, the olive branch you had waited for. You accepted it graciously, muttering a quiet thank you as you slotted it into place. Your body turned back towards the window, 'Sky full of stars' playing softly in the right half of your brain. As the plane continued to move slowly down the runway, you felt a hand rest atop yours, bringing your bouncing leg to a halt. The skin on skin sent shockwaves through you, electricity running up and down your arm. His hand moved sideways, sliding under yours to lift, and then proceeding to interlock your fingers. The warmth of Pablo's hand, the strength of his grip. The slight squeeze as the plane began picking up speed. Despite lacking the confidence to look at him directly, you peaked at your joined hands. Pablo was here. And through the presses of his fingers and the soothing motion of his thumb, he reminded you that Pablo would always be here, so long as you would have him.

"y/n, Mister Xavi would like to see you now."

You hadn't even realized your hand was still laced with Pablo's until one of the assistant coaches came to collect you. Gavi had drifted off into a light sleep, waking as he felt the cold hit his once warm palm. He grabbed your wrist as you tried to follow the assistant coach.

"Don't leave." He said, voice dry and raspy. You weren't sure if he meant now or the club. You moved your hand to join it with the one on your wrist, giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance, as he had done for you.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back."

This was your first time on a plane that had a lounge. The coaching staff was spread across all four sofas, drinking champagne and discussing the efforts from this trip. Xavi sat at a table, an empty seat across from him.

"Doctora, welcome back from Chelsea. Did you enjoy your visit?" He asked, offering your a flute that you politely declined.

"It was wonderful. The staffand players were all great. I'm grateful for the opportunity."

Xavi raised an eyebrow at the diplomatic answer. You were not giving him much of an indication as to your decision. He reached into his bag and extracted a medical file, sliding it over to you.

"As I'm sure you saw on TV and online, Pedri suffered quite a severe injury during the Man U match. Pedri is a key component of our midfield, and Luca has estimated eight to ten weeks for his recovery. I'd like you to take a look at his medical examination report and recommend a course of treatment."

You took the papers in your hand, looking at Xavi cautiously. What was the purpose of this exercise?

"Well, I've already told Pedri that his brace was incorrect, and gave him the specifications for a sleeve to buy once we return home. The eight to ten weeks metric is based on the healing with this immobilization boot. Using the correct compression sleeves and ice, as well as rest, Pedri should be back on in 4 weeks. Five if you want to be safe. That would mean his first appearance back would be the SuperCopa semifinals."

Xavi laughed to himself, collecting the files and returning them to their place. He pulled out another sheet of documents, the words "Adjusted Contract" in bold at the top.

"Doctora y/l/n, it has become increasingly evident as I watch you practice and treat our players that you are a generational talent in sports medicine. You have a deep understanding of the body that few others, both in the club and outside, can fully grasp. At Barca, we strive to do everything in our power to keep generational talents in Camp Nou. I would like you to consider remaining at the club until the summer, when contract renegotiations occur. This would allow you to see out a season that you have contributed so greatly to."

"Why the new contract now then?"

"Just a few clause adjustments. Firstly, we have increased your compensation to absorb your living costs. Those will now be covered by the club. The other change is on this page here. It states that your main focus must be on starters, injured prioritized before healthy. So, if you choose to accept, Pedri would be the top priority as an injured starter. You would dedicate all the necessary time to his treatment."

You scanned the document, and it was just as he said. No other nonsense, just the clauses on compensation and prioritization.

"This is all so flattering sir, but..." Your voice trailed off, shy to speak in front of a legend and the man holding your future in his hands.

"What can we do to make this deal irrefutable?"

"The contract is perfect sir. What I would need is a promise from you. Chelsea's base compensation was higher, but the compensation was based on the number of services the medical staff provides. I could be fired at any moment if not enough players were comfortable being treated by me. I felt, or well rather I didn't feel the sense of loyalty, of family, that I get as Barca. And so I would need a promise from you."

"Name your demand."

"When the summer comes and my contract needs to be renegotiated, keep me on the team. Don't try and pawn me off to someone else. This is my team, my club, my family. So you have to promise me that I have a future here, or else I'll save the heartbreak and leave now."

Xavi placed a pen on the table, bringing his chair forward to be as close as possible to you. "Doctora, you are an incredible and frankly priceless asset to us. We were able to hand select you from the best of the best new physios in Spain. Our successes, any trophies and titles, we owe them in part to you. Help me finish the season with a strong and healthy squad, and I swear to you on my life that you will have a place at Barca until the day you die." He stretched out his hand, and you took a deep breath, meeting the shake midway. It felt weird, signing your contract again, but for more money. You definitely didn't expect to be in this position before you've even graduated, but it brought a pride to your soul. Xavi saw something in you. A generational talent. Somebody believed in what you could do.

You returned to your seat and found that it was Gavi's turn to bounce his leg. You sat down, and he followed you with his eyes. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Did you enjoy your trip?"

"Very much so. I got to meet Joao Felix."

Gavi's face turned to you, catching the beaming smile that broke out across your face.

"Yeah? You like him in person, or was he a disappointment?"

"He was less... dreamy than I had anticipated. But still sweet nonetheless. It was a cool experience."

Gavi responded with a hum, turning his music back on and looking away from you. His other airpod sat on the tray table, right where you left it.

"Pablo," it was your turn to rest a hand on his bouncing leg, "we have to talk."

Pablo turned to you, eyes sad and lip between his teeth. "Do we? I feel like you've said everything there is to say." He knew he was being difficult. He knew he was being petty. But Pablo could not let himself get hurt again, especially not in front of the entire team. If he was going to mourn your departure, it was going to be in the comfort of his own guest bed, the one piece of furniture he could sleep on for 7 continuous hours because it held no memories of you. It was your turn to find his fingers and slot them between your own.

"I didn't mean it. Any of it. I have so many reasons why I didn't mention meeting you, Pablo, but I'm just not brave enough to tell you yet. It wasn't because it wasn't important. It could never be. You are one of the most important people in my life. You're one of the only people I have left. Please don't push me away."

His eyes met yours, and he knew there was no way he could remain angry. It was you, after all. The person that made Pablo believe in the possibility of a soulmate. The one that Gavi thought of whenever songs about incredible love came up on his playlist. You were it. He gripped your hand tighter.

"Going to be hard to support you from several countries away, but I will try my best."

"You don't have to. I'm staying."

Gavi's eyes widened, face lighting up like a kid who had just been gifted an entire candy store. "You're staying?"

"Mhm. Barca is my home. My family. No matter how bad it gets, I could never leave this place behind." It felt as though you spoke those words right into his soul, breathing life back into his very being. You were staying. Your voice, your laugh, your energy - all of it would be at Camp Nou, waiting on the sidelines as he fought tooth and nail to capture your attention. "And plus, Pedri and Xavi basically begged me to come back so Luca doesn't have to treat him."

Gavi let a laugh fill his lungs and spill from his throat, maybe a little louder than necessary on a midnight flight. But he was feeling genuine joy course through his veins. He was a man on death row with a second chance at life. He removed his hand from your grip, bringing to above you and resting it across your shoulders. Professionalism be damned. He just wanted to be close to you right now.

"Xavi was more convincing than Joao? I bet that would be a blow to his ego if he found out." It was comfortable, sitting with Pablo in this way. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be this close to him. You pushed up the hand rest so that the two of you could get even closer. Professionalism be damned. They wouldn't fire you while Pedri was still limping.

"Oh yeah. Portugal boy is cute, but Xavi in 2010? That was my first love. I could never refuse a request from him." More giggles from Gavi. You wished you would bottle this moment, eager to make his happiness perpetual. He was human sunshine, and he deserved every light and happy and beautiful moment life could offer.

"The spiky hair? Really?"

"Shut up!" Coupled with a smack to the chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, exhaustion of the day and its stressors finally catching up to you. "Every man looks hotter when carrying a trophy."

Gavi let out a light laugh, turning to hide his blush. Yet another motivation to lift as many cups as possible this season. He offered you his other airpod again, which you accepted, inserting it as a soft melody filled your ears. Your eyelids were heavy, and you were drifting in and out of consciousness.

"One day, we'll need to talk about it properly, you know." Pablo said from above you, voice soft and serious.

You nodded your head, letting out a quiet "Mhm" in a agreement. You knew it was an inevitable conversation. You would have to eventually face the music, let Gavi free himself from whatever feelings were sitting on his chest. But you couldn't do it now. Not with your future up in the air. Not with your feelings for Gavi still a massive tangle of emotions.

"Not tonight." You said to him softly, as he turned his head to meet your eyes.

"No, not tonight."

Your eyes finally closed and you began drifting off. Pablo's arm remained wrapped around you as he leaned in closer, basically cuddling you on this plane. Thank the lord for blessing the engineers with enough foresight to install dividers. As you breathed rhythmically against his chest, he pressed his nose into your hair, breathing deeply. Why was everything about you so intoxicating?

In the haze of your sleep, you heard Pablo speaking to you. You listened intently, hoping to catch these special words that he only released to your sleeping form.

"Doctora, I would wait for you forever. Even when you hit rock bottom, I'll be there, waiting for you with a ladder. You will always have me, no matter what."

~~~~~~~

A/N: Guys I did it!!! My longest part to date! I am so flipping tired. It's 4am. I don't remember a time before I started writing this part. Anyways, we are chugging along y'all! Only two parts left in the main story!! I surpassed my 15k word goal. Maybe next part is 18k? I think the next part is going to be my favorite. I haven't decided if I want the big boom pow event to be in part 9 or 10. We will see. Again, apologies for the long time between updates, but semi-decent writing takes time. As usual, please leave thoughts, feedback, predictions, etc. in the replies - I love reading all of them so much!!! If you notice any easter eggs/ small details, feel free to point them out!!! There are so many and I love when y'all get them. IDK when part 9 is coming out but when it's done y'all will be the first to know. Ok love y'all byeeeee.

Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist ok bye

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle @simpingmyassoff @grlwithprblms @lqvesoph @pink-manz @graziemille @xxenia14 @nngkay @icedlattewithextracaramel @gyusrose @vip-access @julianalvarez9 @lavie3nrose @ge0rg1ewaa @i8yul @lovefordilfs271 @remuslupinluver @thattaylorswiftobsessedbitch @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @kaismybabe @notanenthucutlet @fullsun9890 @venomwh0re @renaissancewhxre @gaviandgrizisgirl @altgojo @urmomdotcom5678 @eliseline @invidia-of-alhambra @pixwls @stell4rrrs @80sloverry @car1no-xx @mrsgavira @888bear @kylianmbappee @ivyhrry @gaviypedrisbride @grlwithprblms @dessxoxsworld @user6373738

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sunshine-theseus · 6 months

Text

Angel In Disguise | Esme Morgan x Reader

Word count: 2k

Summary: life’s hard when all your students prefer your footballer partner over you.

Warnings: fluff, children? idk how the English school timeline works and the Australian one doesn’t match up with the story so I’m just saying school starts in like September and ends in late May??

Request for: @wlwskyy i hope this is good! it's probably not as good as I hoped but i'm still pretty happy with it

Being a primary school teacher was hard. Trying to help students who struggle with the content while also helping others progress. Being strict while also wanting to be fun. My biggest struggle though, was a very me specific one.

Esme Morgan loves to visit me or help me out at school from time to time, and just like everyone else she meets, the kids fall in love with her. From the first time they meet her, they’re begging me to bring her back.

“Ms L/n it’s so cool you’re dating a footballer! Can you bring her back tomorrow? And the day after that and the day after that one until forever?” and once they realise that she actually has her own job to do, they beg I bring her in at least once a term.

It was my first year teaching after university, the first time she’d come to work, and it had been a complete surprise.

After she broke her leg in 2021, Esme struggled to fill her time. She’d made about 27 bracelets in the first 3 days, then tried to bake a little, although it went rather poorly. She then watched all the original Disney movies in release order. I think she got to Mulan II before she decided enough was enough.

I was in the middle of teaching the times tables when there was a light knock on the door. I could see her cheeky smile through the small pane of glass and rushed to open it for her. Esme stumbles through the door, her moon boot and crutches making it difficult for her to fit through the rather narrow frame.

She pecks me on the lips and the room erupts in childish giggles. Romantic affection was something so foreign to 8 and 9 year olds.

“Es… what are you doing here?” I whisper as I pull a chair for her sit on.

“I got bored, and I miss yoouu.” She smiles up at me and I can’t help but smile back.

“Oh! And I brought gifts for the kiddos!” she holds out a paper bag and I peak inside.

My heart melts at the pile of hand-crafted bracelets, ranging in colour and design, that fill a significant proportion of the bag.

She spent the rest of the day surrounded by my class. Eventually I had to stop teaching because they were so in love with this angelic limping figure who brough them friendship bracelets. I don’t think Esme prepared for them all to assume she was every single one of their best friends.

~~~~~

It was nearly Christmas break when she first met my class for this year, and everyone knew who she was. For the first time, I didn’t have to introduce her or tell them what she does for them to get hyped.

“I WATCHED YOU IN THAT FOOTBALL THING” and other similar phrases are shouted many times when she enters the room.

When I looked at her it was hard not to smile. She was playing and talking with kids and giving them all little bracelets, just like she does every year.

As she was crouched in front of a small group who were excitedly asking her questions, Marley, a rather shy and quiet girl, walked up to Esme and lightly tapped her shoulder. She fiddles with her fingers and avoids looking at anyone as she waits.

“Excuse me Mrs Esme?” Esme is already smiling when she turns to look at Marley.

“Hey kiddo!”

“Um you’re my favourite player of all time. I watch all your games and wanna grow up and play just like you.” And Esme’s smile grew bigger, something I wasn’t sure was possible.

“That’s so cool! Can I give you a hug?” Marley nods and giggles into the embrace, and then they begin to talk about Marley’s interest in football and Esme’s work.

I’d been struggling to get her to talk for 2 months, and Es came in and got her to talk within minutes, but I can’t stop staring lovingly at the angel of a woman in front of me. There was a part of myself I saw in Marley. I’d struggled to be very open for a long time until I met Esme. She just had this gentle, caring nature that was hard to ignore.

Marley misses her the most between visits. They’d made a secret handshake and love to chat and giggle on the oval at lunch, kicking the ball around.

In between visits Esme and Marley both interchangeably would give me something to give the other; a bracelet or a packet of lollies or a flower they found randomly. It was so hard for me to not burst from how cute their friendship was.

It had changed Es as well. Obviously, she has always been welcoming and warm-hearted but she’d become more confident about her play and sometimes I would catch her bragging to her teammates.

“I’m Marley’s favourite player!” it took them a while to realise who Marley was, but they found it adorable.

We’re in our last week for the school year, just in time for Esme to make one more surprise appearance before she has leave for camp for the France Olympics. I’d told the kids she wasn’t sure if she would have time to make it between finishing up the season and preparing for the Olympics, but that didn’t stop them from begging me to bring her in.

It’s the last day, everyone already buzzing for their long holiday, and admittedly from the lollies I gave them. I always try to make the last day super fun, activities and music and a surprise guest.

By midday I’d already had to apologise that Esme couldn’t make it. 17 times and counting.

And by 1, there was a knock on the door. A knock the kids were all too familiar with, and Esme rushes into the room, kids swarming her from all angles.

“Hey kiddos!”

“Hey pretty lady” she turns to me and kisses me quickly. Gags and loud ‘ewww!’s echo out.

Marley waits patiently with a small bag in her hand, still considerably shy. Esme wastes no time in getting to the young girl, with a similar bag in hand.

“Hey Mar! I got you a little something.” Esme hands the bag over, and everyone watches carefully as she pulls out whatever lays inside.

I see the familiar light blue peak out, and recognise the jersey design I sport most weekends. The present is clear when Marley starts jumping up and down in excitement.

“It’s one of my spares so don’t tell Gareth, ok? I got all the girls to sign it.” Marley is wrapped around Esme before she can finish the sentence.

“Thank you!” she scrambles to put her bag in Esme’s hands before tugging the shirt over her head.

I nearly scream when I see Esme pull out a black and purple jersey, colours I know from all the pictures Marley shows me of her games, usually with a trophy in her hands. Her last name and the number 14 adorn the back with a tiny ‘Marley’ in black sharpie on the ‘1’.

“Oh my god Marley this is so cool! I’m going to keep this forever. In a few years time I’m going to see you playing for England and know I got the first ever Marley jersey and signature. And of course you’ll play for Manchester City yeah?” the little girl eagerly nods her head.

The day goes on and the kids go home for the last time. Esme leaves after an hour of helping me pack up the classroom, to start dinner and I don’t finish until 5:30.

By the time I pull into the driveway, I’m exhausted, but satisfied with my work for the year.

I leave most of my gear in the car to unpack another day and walk to the door. I struggle to open it for a moment but when I do, I’m hit by the smell of my favourite meal cooking and the sound of Esme singing, albeit not well.

I drag my feet into the kitchen and wrap my arms around my wife, kissing her back as I just rest against her.

“Hello my love.”

“Hey sunshine.” I pause for a moment.

“You’re so good with kids.” She hums as she turns the stove off.

“And you helped Marley so much.”

“She’s a good kid, it’s hard not to like her.” I pull away and reach up to kiss her on the cheek before looking for the small gift bag.

“What are you doing?” Esme questions as she begins to plate to the food

“Well we have to measure Marley’s shirt for a frame so we can hang it up don’t we? I want to be able to boast to the world in like 8 years time about how I taught her and how we have her first ever signature.” I poke her in the side as I grab my plate.

“Well how about we do that tomorrow? I just want to cuddle with you tonight before we have to pack and get ready for camp.” I let out a loud groan.

“I can’t believe you’re taking me to France, and we’ll barely be able to do any of that gross romantic shit together.” Esme smiles down at me, regret floating behind her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Noo I’m so excited I just think they’re cruel for making players do their job or whatever.” I jokingly roll my eyes before I lean back into her on the couch, both our plates sat in our laps.

“I promise to take you to that restaurant on the top of the Eiffel Tower before we leave.” She kisses my forehead.

~~~~~

“This is light work for the defender, tapping the ball passed Courtney Nevin and chipping it passed the Australian goalkeeper! IT’S A GOAL FOR ENGLAND AND THEY FIND AN EQUALISER IN THE OLYMPIC FINALS!”

I cheer at the goal with the rest of the stadium, hugging the small girl next to me as she bounces in excitement.

“Did you see that mumma? She scored! Mar Mar scored!” Reese shouts over everyone else.

“I did! It was amazing, wasn’t it?”

When the game ends, I pick Reese up and we rush down to the pitch with the other family members, celebrating as we make our way. It takes us a few minutes to spot the players we’re looking for but when Reese points them out, I put her down and she runs toward them without a single thought.

“Congratulations!” I pull Esme into a kiss before turning to Marley. The 16-year-old smiled brightly at me before hugging me tightly.

“Your goal was fucking phenomenal Marley! They should make you a striker.”

“But then she wouldn’t be just like her favourite player” Esme buts in, our daughter falling asleep on her hip. We all laugh and continue to talk with the other girls and celebrate until we decide to head back to the hotel to put Reese to bed.

“I’m so proud of how far you’ve come you know?” I pull Marley into my side as we wait for the elevator.

“From ‘shy little 8 year old who refused to talk to her teacher’ to ‘number 14; defender and debut scorer for her country at the 2032 Olympics at 16 years old’.”

“And one of the youngest and best signings for Man City!” Esme chimes in

“Thank you for always believing in me.”

After we say goodnight to Marley and make sure Reese is definitely asleep, I climb into bed with Esme.

“You’re so amazing.” I stare at her. Sometimes I don’t understand how I was blessed with such a kind-hearted, gentle woman.

“I try.” We break out in giggles and I slap her lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” we don’t say anything else.

She kisses me hard before I rest my head on her chest, her arm wrapping around me as we fall asleep. She’s my angel in disguise.

#woso x reader #woso #wwc 2023 #olympics 2024 #esme morgan #esme morgan x reader #womens soccer

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qjaidenhere · 1 month

Note

BEGGING to hear about ur familoier au plssss

Okok so!! This is a Jaiden and Bobby centric au with some Roier (I mostly came up with this au because I was sad about Jaiden and Bobby and wanted them to be happy) it’s very slice of life fluffy modern au- just them being happy together :]] just know this is extremely self indulgent because I want them to be happy and if feels ooc or something no it doesn’t :]

much more under cut

Bobby often goes to the park with his family!! He likes to brings his fake sword and swing it at anything and everything he sees. he also likes to pick the many flowers around the park to make flower crowns!! It’s rare for a friend (or parent) of Bobby’s to not have at least one of his flower crowns (and his parents often have at least one flower of his on them all the time)

Bobby also loves to paint with his family!! He will draw on canvas, walls, his own skin, whatever, so he often has doodles up and down his arms. The family will often put aside time in the day for them to paint together (at Bobby’s request) and it’s often his highlight of the day :D he likes to copy Jaiden’s arm tattoos with his drawings on his arms (though he won’t admit it to her) and he often draws his family or his friends!!

Bobby also has two dogs- a big brown newfoundland named Oso and his husky named Tripita (he’s also named the two raccoons outside and sometimes tries to take them inside but they always escape)

Jaiden is a freelance artist who works on commission who is roommates with Roier. She is learning Spanish for both Roier and Bobby (who is bilingual) and they both encourage and help her while she’s learning! She went to law school for a bit when she was younger- but ended up dropping out.

all the eggs go to the same school and are all in the same class (for the older eggs) and the younger eggs (when they come into the story) often hang out with them at lunch and such :D Roier also babysits Tilin on the weekends so they and Bobby are pretty good friends (though they sometimes joke at being rivals) and Dapper sometimes comes over for sleepovers!

All the eggs are kind of close which means that their parents also all know each other because of their kids- it’s how some of them get to know each other at first but a fair few knew each other beforehand!

Misc thingys:

-the city is name quesadilla city

-jaiden once spent a day going from store to store to find the specific brand of french fries that she and Bobby likes lmao

-Jaiden often shows Bobby the basics of her job/s because of his interest in art

-Bobby is in awe of Juannaflippa because of her nerf gun

-all of the eggs are around 8-10 in this au I think but I’m still figuring out ages

-the au is called a garden of missed promises

-jaiden dyes her hair and convinces Roier to get a streak (she wanted him to get blue but they settled on red) and Bobby begged enough that they got him a blue underside of his hair

-they love to go biking together around the city

-the federation is kinda just the government for now,, they’re not nearly as bad as the canon federation and mostly are just in the background

-when they save up enough money they sometimes go out to a cottage on the countryside and hang around there

-Bobby and Tilin originally met when they had a fight at school that turned into their Roier and Q fighting over who has the best kid (they mostly made up though)

also it’s a sort of fantasy modern au only in that they are still hybrids instead of all being human- Jaiden is a parrot hybrid, Roier is a spider hybrid, Bobby is a dragon hybrid, pretty standard (not all the eggs are dragon hybrids though)

it’s VERY early qsmp based if you couldn’t tell already though I do want to add some of the other language creators (especially cellbit for spiderbit) but I’m still working on figuring out how they would work in this au! also Pepito and Empanada are going to be confusing to fit into this au- I don’t want to not include them but idk,, if y’all have any ideas they would be greatly appreciated

also people who expressed interest: (sorry for tag! I won’t do it again I just wanted to show y’all in all the same place)

@13minmailman

@kaihuntrr

@sleepdeprivedbooklover

@fruitlessjam48

@v01dw4tch3r

#turtleasks #turtletalks #qsmp jaiden #qsmp Bobby #qsmp tilin #qsmp au #a garden of missed promises au #q jaiden #q bobby

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deathsbestgirl · 2 months

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@alexmacc oh thank you!! this is a great question and i do want to preface it with i do not have any experience with infertility but i do have a lot of experience with illness & doctors. i think it's completely understandable to dislike this arc for any reason. and i'm sure the writers don't really know what they're talking about when it comes to science. but like. this is a sci-fi show and i'm not looking for accuracy. anyway, i personally kind of love it. i can't help but look at this show in "good faith." especially mulder & scully specifically.

(also!! there are spoilers that go into season 7&8)

to me, the foundation of the x files is mulder's trauma surrounding losing samantha but the journey of it is through scully's trauma. we experience hers in real time. and this one is deeply personal & relatable, like her cancer. not being able to have children is devastating, the language surrounding infertility is painful. (although i can never remember if infertility was clear at this point — when he found her ova, or in emily.) scully thought about having kids, at one point she didn't think she was cut out for it, it was a distant hope & possibility. i don't think she truly dreamt of having the typical family life beyond the way she sometimes tried to fit society's ideal, the way she had it drilled into throughout her life. but i think she always thought she would have kids eventually. she loves kids, i think she loved having siblings, she loves & values family. mulder's love & dedication to samantha is something that attracted her to him.

in memento mori, when mulder learns that scully's ova is taken from her...she's dying, going through treatment in the hospital that's making her sicker by the day. i don't think mulder could bear giving her that news, not after learning in home that she does want kids. not after her abduction, losing melissa, her cancer. so he waits. and then his hand is forced when scully finds emily and learns she's her biological daughter. scully's hurt that mulder didn't tell her, but i don't think she really faults him for it. she can barely handle the information now, learning it while she had cancer...i can't imagine it, idk how you carry that when you're dying. i don't know how you can fit that in your brain, in your grief when she's about to leave behind her family and mulder. in a way, it doesn't matter when you're dying, but she's never been able to face her abduction and she's being forced to. mulder tries to help her, encourages her to at least talk to the mufon women as an investigator if she can't handle it on a personal level. (the way her voice cracks several times in these conversations. when she says they're not all dead. scully doesn't want to believe she's dying either.) (she calls him first for a reason, she tells skinner with mulder at her side for a reason, she apologizes to skinner for making it awkward/uncomfortable...)

what makes me love it is that...mulder calls what happened to scully medical rape. he yells it at emily's doctor, demanding he help emily, rightly accusing him of malpractice, calling him & anyone involved medical rapists. and that's exactly what they are. they conduct these tests on people, steal women's ova, and use them & their children for more experiments. giving life to these children for the express purpose of experimenting on them, and ultimately killing them or letting them die. it's so sick & twisted & inhumane and you want to believe it unrealistic...but it isn't.

i just think that's really powerful. it's painfully real. it's something doctors & the government have done. and the x files so rarely calls things exactly what they are. mulder directly calling it medical rape — and once again, not forcing scully to confront it until she's ready & it's on her terms — this is a big reason i can't hate it.

i love mulder in emily. he walks into that room, sees scully with emily. sees scully's cross around her neck. he's terrified. he doesn't want scully to be hurt again, and he's afraid that's exactly what's in store for her. he knows emily wasn't born to be loved, to live. she's an experiment to this government conspiracy, a means to an end. but mulder will always do what scully asks of him, and he goes into that meeting determined to convince this judge scully deserves to be with her daughter. he lays out the facts he has, and the judge has a hard time believing it but emily is undeniably her biological daughter. the dna tests prove it.

the way mulder says everything is important too. there's no precedent for case like this. scully had her ova stolen, she can no longer have children. but somehow, unbeknownst to scully until now, emily exists. and scully wants her. it's wrong to keep them apart, to take this chance from scully, to deny this little girl a mother who loves her after she's lost the only parents she knows. scully found emily and she stayed and she fights. she learns about her illness, makes sure she gets the medical care she needs, and does everything she can to find & understand the cause so she can help her. they describe emily as having special needs because of her condition, her "illness."

scully is judged because she has an intense, time consuming, dangerous job. she hasn't had any recent long term serious relationships in the eyes of the law & adoption agency. she's single and how would she take care of emily on her own? at one point, mulder is mistaken for emily's father and he turns away. scully takes it on alone, but she isn't alone. mulder really is there every step of the way. he would do anything for scully, and he would do anything for emily. it's so painful that they can't have this. mulder finds a cure, supposedly anyway. but scully tells him she won't put emily through more tests & pain & experiments. emily wanted it all to stop, and her parents were killed because they were going to stop. scully was prepared to let emily go as peacefully & comfortably as she could. so mulder didn't tell her. another decision i don't think was easy. it wouldn't have ended. even if emily was cured, she wouldn't have been allowed to stay in scully's care. the reality of courts & the conspiracy.

in per manum, we learn scully went to doctors to treat her infertility. once she had her ova, she brought them to a doctor and in vitro might work. and she asks mulder to be her donor. another crazy, beautiful layer to their relationship. scully wouldn't want a random donor, and there's no one she loves more, trusts more than mulder. despite what he hid from her in a futile attempt to protect her. (again, i don't think she really faults him. she almost never does. it's just painful. painful that he would hide anything from her, especially something about herself. but they both know very well how scully struggles to face what's happened to her, and everything goes back to her abduction.) protecting each other is what they do, they just have different methods sometimes. and i don't think there's a way to know what's right until consequences smack you in the face. it's easy to objectively say something is wrong when you aren't the person dealing with the situation, or in hindsight. it's always more complicated when you're facing it in the moment.

like. i just can't hate it when it gives us so many incredible moments. the vulnerability, the gentleness, the compassion, the anger, the pain. it may all be wrapped up in an alien government conspiracy but the connection, the emotion, cancer & infertility, evil...it's all real. there's relief & catharsis, a freedom & safety. it gives a voice to things often buried. it's part of the beauty of the x files, to what mulder & scully do.

and then the reversal...well. i also love that but i'm gonna save it for my william arc post.

#the x files #infertility arc #mulder and scully #dana scully #fox mulder #mine #txf meta #if there's anything specific i didn't mention #feel free to ask!!#add your thoughts

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butterflydm · 1 year

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wot reread: towers of midnight (chapter 8-13)

spoilers for towers of midnight

1. Hmm, we open this Mat chapter with him pondering over the (still-sealed) letter that Verin left him and admiring the beauty of the female tavernkeeper (quickly slapping a “but I’m married” bandaid over his admiration). Strike two.

2. I genuinely am very curious about what notes might have been left behind about Mat (and Mat’s marriage) because... from Sanderson’s other writing, this doesn’t feel like an idea he would have necessarily come up with on his own? He admits that he’s a bit of a prude and his main go-to ‘romance’ route in his own books is “wow this arranged marriage is working out surprisingly well!”. So I’m really curious if post-marriage horndog!Mat was noted somewhere in the stuff Jordan left behind. And I’m keeping track of the moments because I want to see how much of a pattern it ends up being over the course of the ~post-marriage~ books.

I am also going to keep track of whether or not Mat notes any specific qualities about ~absent wifey~ that he likes and, if he does, if those qualities are things that we’ve witnessed her actually showing at any point.

3. Also, just to note: while Mat is trying to remind himself that he’s married, his ~wife~ is engaging in hostile combat actions against his friends, and will be enslaving forty Aes Sedai and killing an additional unknown number of Aes Sedai, Warders, and people who live and work in Tar Valon. But, you know, it’s her empire that’s his enemy, not her.

(that line really is... the sad thing is that line is actually great out of context but, wow, it makes absolutely ZERO sense in terms of Mat’s actual relationship with ~Fortuona~. It’s such a bonkers delusional line for Mat to have said at any point during their relationship as it exists in the books. It really does feel like Jordan thought up that line first and then never got around to actually writing a relationship that could live up to its sentiment but jammed it in anyway because he couldn’t let it go even though it didn’t fit with the relationship as-written. But leaving it in really makes Mat come across as extremely reality-denying in terms of his relationship. And, hey, maybe that was what Jordan was going for, idk)

4. Verin is betting here that Mat’s curiosity is stronger than his desire to stay away from Aes Sedai plans, but she doesn’t know that the narrative has spent the last few books beating his curiosity and critical thinking out of him and turning his irrational dislike of Aes Sedai up to bizarrely high levels so that he’s willing to make out with a slaver. Verin should have just ALSO shared the info in the letter with Egwene when she was with her, but it was Verin’s turn to hold the Idiot Ball of Making The Plot Happen, so she did not (honestly, either Mat reading the letter or Verin telling Egwene the contents of the letter would also have saved us a bunch of time in the story).

5. More of weird fey creature Mat here, who acts like he is bound by his Oaths in a bizarre metaphysical way, instead of him just reluctantly keeping his word because he’s a good man. Like... you haven’t sworn on the Oath Rod, Mat. If whatever Verin is telling you to do actually goes against your morals just... break your word. You were willing to do it when it came to the Seanchan Oaths, because an oath under duress is not binding, and you seemed to be aware of that back during WH. The whole “you must follow your oaths to the letter even if they lead you into immoral acts” belief is NOT honorable. But this ties back into the way that Jordan had Mat acting with Tuon in CoT & KoD -- the logic of going “because she’s ~my wife~ (by Seanchan law), I am ~legally/morally obligated~ to support and protect her, no matter what evil deeds she may choose to commit and no matter how much she might be hurting other people”.

So now keeping his promises is about Mat operating by Fey Rules of Literally Obeying His Word, rather than keeping his promises because he’s a good person despite his protests. Because a good man wouldn’t support and protect a slaver, so Jordan had to throw away the part of Mat that was a good man in order for Mat x Tuon to ‘work’. But then (this ties back to horndog!Mat), it also leads to it feeling like Mat doesn’t cheat on Tuon right now only because it might break his Mystical Fey Creature Oaths rather than him actually feeling any personal inclination towards being a faithful husband.

6. At the start of this chapter, Mat thought to himself that he wouldn’t give Melli his ~best smile~ on account of him being a married man and... well, guess what he does only two pages later? Yep, gives her his best smile that he personally believes melts women’s hearts. Two pages! Also, he thinks that he’s Not Allowed to stare at her lips (because he’s married) even as he’s calculating the precise fullness of said lips that he’s Definitely Not staring at, lol.

7. Mat notices a pretty serving girl and tips her a coin for her smile. For, um. For Thom’s sake. lol. Strike three. Technically, Mat is already out, but I will continue to count strikes.

8. lol, the bouncer at the tavern, Berg, is as dubious about Mat’s future faithfulness to ~his slaver wife~ as I am. Berg gives Mat a suspicious look despite that fact that Mat. This is hilarious. Mat SAT HIM DOWN and talked to him about how he wouldn’t be wooing away the woman that Berg is in a relationship with because Mat is MARRIED NOW. lol, no wonder the man is so suspicious of him! That just sends so many alarm bells ringing. Portrait of a Man In Denial over how unhappy he is about being married.

9. Strike four, Mat notices the golden hair, nice eyes, and full bosom of one of the women he’s gambling with at the next tavern, and tries to convince himself that he doesn’t actually find full breasts incredibly attractive anymore (he noticed Melli’s “ample bosom” only a handful of pages ago so... um, yeah, that’s a boldfaced lie to himself. Sanderson might mention breasts less often than Jordan does but when he does mention them, it’s been in Mat PoV so far). We’re several pages into Mat’s PoV at this point and we’ve mostly focused on him doing his best to pretend he feels no regret over being married and Not Being Allowed to notice all the women that he’s noticing for, um, Talmanes and Thom. He also tries to give his fellow gambler one of his heart-fluttering smiles (that he said at the start of the chapter he wouldn’t give out anymore on account of being ~a married man~) and tries to pretend that he isn’t disappointed when she doesn’t react.

10. Anyway, the plot important thing that happens here is that Mat finds out that the gholam is in Caemlyn (people found with their throats ripped out). That finally draws him out of his depressed-over-being-married funk.

11. We learn that he’s sent a letter to Elayne and gotten no reply and he’s actually QUITE worked up over it, and over the fact that Elayne has never so much as kissed him on the cheek to thank him for saving her life. And it’s an interesting change that his internal objection here doesn’t end up being “but of course I wouldn’t want Elayne to kiss me because I’m a married man” but is instead “I don’t want royalty to kiss me” which sends him down a spiral of thinking about how he’s trapped into the Seanchan nobility now. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, that’s strike five.

12. Mat does bring up three positive qualities of Tuon here (that aren’t related to whether or not he’s capable of being attracted to her: as we’ve just been witnessing, Mat is capable of being attracted to the majority of female characters in the books, so physical attraction is fairly irrelevant here):

a. good at stones: verified true

b. keen of wit: no textual evidence that this is true

c. ‘good for talking to’: negative textual evidence that this is true; most of Mat’s conversations with her in CoT & KoD seemed to end up in frustration or unpleasantness (he even mentions here that she’s frustrating ‘most of the time’), with him thinking on at least one occasion late in KoD about how he hates that she treats him like he’s her property

So... we’re at 33% Verified True on Mat’s accuracy scale of Tuon’s Good Qualities, 33% Just Lying To Himself, and 33% is a question mark.

(though I would argue Tuon’s lack of insight or critical thinking in her own PoV chapters argues against her being ~keen of wit~, unless Mat just means she’s good at puns or something, which is also not in evidence. I suspect this is more of an Informed Attribute, where the author(s) hope that just repeating over and over that Tuon has a keen wit will make people believe she does even if she never does anything to prove it).

13. Mat feels guilt over leaving Tylin tied up for the gholam to kill back in Ebou Dar. Tylin’s relationship to Mat really does feel like it’s married so tightly to Tuon’s relationship with Mat, a transfer of ~ownership~ in a horrible gross way. Tylin’s abuse of Mat is what kept him in the situation he was in when he met Tuon, and Tylin’s abuse of Mat really does feel like it foreshadows the way that Tuon treats Mat as well, which is definitely a Bad Omen for his future.

14. Awww, for all that Mat was negatively thinking about royalty earlier, he thinks here about how the right Queen is now on the throne of Andor (with the emphasis Mat’s!).

15. Strike six. Mat sees a stately older woman in the inn where Thom is performing and thinks about how he’ll keep her in mind for later. Hastily adding ~for his men~ onto his thoughts. He tells Thom about the gholam and they leave for Mat’s camp.

16. Mat thinks with frustration about how Bayle Doman and Leilwin née Egeanin no longer have any affection for him (it’s because you’re married to a slaver and they have rejected the empire; hope this helps). We also get a reminder about the holes in his memory (foggy patches from when he picked up the dagger in Shadar Logoth until when he was healed of it in TDR).

17. Mat comes across as pretty desperate for validation & affection here (specifically from people that he already knows and respects). That’s really standing out to me -- he thought about it a lot in the last book too, about how much he wanted Joline, Teslyn, & Edesina to be grateful to him for saving their lives. He thinks the same here about Elayne, and about Doman and Leilwin née Egeanin. And he doesn’t want to think about how his own actions (being abrasive towards Elayne & co; picking the slavers over the slaves) might have made people turn away from him or think less of him. Save someone once, and it shouldn’t matter how you behave in the future, right? (wrong) It’s also interesting how the clear loyalty of his soldiers doesn’t scratch that itch for him at all. Maybe because he attributes that to the memories in his head and his luck rather than himself as a person?

18. When Mat claims to Thom that he’s a good judge of character, he gets a very doubtful raised eyebrow back. Thom’s relationship with Mat in the last few books has been... honestly, somewhat weird. I almost wonder... we haven’t gotten any Thom PoV for quite a long time, I don’t think, so I wonder if Thom is just masking his actual feelings about Mat because he knows that he needs Mat in order to rescue Moiraine. Because, for the most part, Thom has just avoided Having Opinions about the mess that is Mat’s life and choices, despite the fact that Thom is (supposedly) fond enough of an Aes Sedai that he’s desperate to rescue her from captivity, and also deeply fond of Elayne and friends with Juilin. Is Thom playing Mat the way that Mat was playing the Tairen nobles at the start of TSR? Letting himself appear to be a non-critical buddy because there’s something that he wants out of Mat? I will have to keep an eye out to see if Thom shows any affection towards/inclination to hang out with Mat AFTER Moiraine gets rescued and he doesn’t need Mat anymore. Thom is, after all, one of the best players of Daes Dae’mar in the series, we are told.

19. Mat talks to Teslyn here, internally noting that she has lost most of the “nervous skittishness” that she’d picked up when she was enslaved as damane. He likes Teslyn, he thinks, but he does not trust her. Despite Teslyn never doing a single thing to breach his trust, unlike SOME people that I could name. Ah! There are rumors in Caemlyn about the Seanchan assult on the White Tower but (just like he dismissed Tuon’s threats back in CoT/KoD), Mat has dismissed those rumors as just “stories of raken drifting up from the south” (I wonder if I should be keeping track of all of the “Mat Forces Himself Into Willful Denial Over Tuon/the Seanchan’s Evil Choices” moments). Teslyn and the others are planning to leave now to go join the reunited White Tower (which is what most of the rumors talk about).

20. Hmm, Teslyn thanks Mat here for helping her escape the Seanchan but then she talks with him about the importance of maintaining “illusions with yourself”. I actually did wonder, when I was doing my reread of CoT & KoD, if Teslyn’s patience with Mat, even when he was being a complete asshole, was due to her seeing how much he was lying to himself to try to make himself accept his fate. I think I may have been right on that. And she gives him an escape route, if he looks for it in the future -- that if he ever decides to seek out the White Tower, he has a friend there willing to help him. Considering that she knows that he’s married to a slaver (one who actively tried to re-enslave her personally), that is a HUGE offer. A way out of his trap with the Seanchan -- protection at the White Tower. And Mat, who has been desperate for validation since the start of TGS is now “feeling as unsettled as if someone had kicked his legs out from under him”. Teslyn has also, in this one conversation, shown him more kindness than Tuon has shown in their entire relationship. So... Mat has at least one place to run to now, if he runs away from ~Fortuona~ post-canon. Teslyn has seen the worst of him and extends him this offer anyway, so he knows that she won’t turn him away if he comes to her for help. This conversation is SO good. Mat is thrown so off-balance by Teslyn’s kindness and genuine care for him.

21. *sigh* I really wish that Mat were caring more about Nalesean and the Redarms being murdered by the gholam than about Tylin’s murder. I do understand why -- because Mat feels responsible for her death in a way that he doesn’t for Nalesean’s -- but... ugh, kinda sucks that his guilt over Tylin’s death is now the biggest part of how he feels about Tylin, given how much misery and pain she caused Mat when she was alive. Not necessarily... incorrect, in terms of how people’s brains can work in this sort of situation, but it does suck. Anyway, Mat is now the prime object of the gholam’s attention, having been sent to personally murder him (likely by Moridin, I would assume?). Teslyn saves his life during this fight btw, using the Power to pull him back before the gholam can kill him (she can do this because he took his medallion off to fight it). Five people were successfully killed by the gholam in this attack before it runs away (it has been ordered to try to avoid too much attention).

23. Oddly, Tuon is one of the people that the gholam threatens to kill. Honestly, I feel like it would have been smarter for the Shadow to court the Seanchan/Tuon instead of going against them, since ~Fortuona~ is already so hostile to Aes Sedai. But the Shadow cannot always make smart moves, I guess. The gholam doesn’t threaten to kill Olver but does threaten Tuon, Thom, and Noal. Given that it apparently got its information from a Redarm that it killed a few days ago or from observing Mat’s camp, you’d think that Olver would be on the list either way (and it really makes no sense that Tuon would be on the list? She hasn’t been traveling with Mat for at least a month at this point).

I suspect that the general reader is supposed to care that Tuon is under risk of assassination? But it’s baffling to me as to WHY I should care when she literally JUST had her people assault the White Tower, kidnapping and enslaving forty women and most likely also killing more people than that in total. The narrative has never given me a good reason why I should care about whether or not Tuon gets assassinated besides “vague marriage prophecy bs”. The narrative has never shown that Tuon is actually a better candidate for empress for the Westlands Seanchan than some other random High Blood would be, as long as they aren’t a Darkfriend like Suroth; it just wants us to assume that she is. Her behavior has been just as horrible as any other High Blood’s. Why should I believe she’s a better choice as empress than the next High Blood down in rank? We have never been given a reason.

Now, if Tuon had had even a single ounce of positive character development during the circus storyline, then this would be an entirely different ballgame! But she not only didn’t, she has actively doubled-down on her fear and hatred of ‘marath’damane’.

So, yeah... why on earth should I be invested in Mat wanting to save her life? The narrative never gives me a reason to believe she’s capable of becoming a worthy leader of people. She’s petty, arrogant, and cruel. Basically, a younger version of Elaida with even more power and less self-awareness than Elaida ever had.

24. Note that I do not consider Mat acknowledging Joline as pretty to be a strike against his marriage because it’s not him noticing with any kind of intent that he then tries to pretend doesn’t exist -- he genuinely does not find her an appealing temptation at this point, due to their personal history (though said negative history is pretty much entirely Mat’s fault #JolineDeservedBetter).

25. Ah, Perrin and the others have arrived by the statue that Rand told Nynaeve about back in TGS, so I’m guessing that Tam will be leaving soon to go get nearly killed by his son. Anyway, Perrin and Galad meet here face to face and agree to have their armies fight each other. So... that’s going... well?

26. ELAYNE! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

27. Trying to figure out a way to get the Andoran nobles to actually unite before the Last Battle rather than squabbling for power, Elayne decides that it’s time to claim the Sun Throne. Hmm, I do feel like Sanderson’s more casual style of narration is more pronounced here with Elayne than it’s been with the other characters. All off a sudden, it just feels like the narration is in a hurry, almost more like an outline than prose.

28. Ah, we learn that the reason that Elayne never responded to Mat’s first letter is that she never received it. Her secretary, Master Norry, dismissed Mat as just another leader of a mercenary band, which is why he was granted a space outside the city but no audience with Elayne. He does give her Mat’s second letter, telling her that the captain of this mercenary band is being particularly persistent. Elayne is keeping all these mercenary bands around because they will likely be needed for the Last Battle because, unlike Perrin, SHE isn’t a FOOL.

29. Reading the letter (which does have a lot of misspellings, etc in it, but Mat also mentions that he was planning on rewriting it to be pretty if Thom would have stopped laughing at him) gives Elayne ALL the emotions as she realizes that Mat and Thom (and maybe Olver) are alive and have escaped from Ebou Dar. Mat mentions here that he thinks Elayne’s ass is pretty but also that he barely looked because he knows that she would have kicked his ass and also he’s married w/e, which I feel like should count as strike seven even though it’s Elayne again, because Mat has an emotional attachment to Elayne that he doesn’t have to the more random women that he’s Noticing all over the place, but I’ll only count it as an additional tenth of the point and say he’s at strike six-point-one. Birgitte, upon reading the letter, mentions that Mat also has a nice ass, so I guess she was Looking in Ebou Dar.

Confirmed nice butts:

Elayne & Mat (here in ToM)

Aviendha & Rand (in TFoH)

Probably Min too, I guess

Mat being so worked up over Elayne not responding to his first letter actually makes me wonder if he deliberately put in things into this second letter to try to make her react, if only to fuss at him or tell him off -- telling her she has a nice ass, telling her that he’s married. Because he assumes that she did read his first letter and actively chose not to meet with him.

30. Elayne tells Norry to arrange a meeting with Mat immediately and to tell him to make sure to bring Thom as well. She also begins to think about how Mat and the Band could potentially be useful for bringing Cairhien to her. We get some more insight into her reasoning here as well -- after Rand dies, Andor is one of the biggest potential targets for the Seanchan empire to the south, and they cannot afford for it to merely be part of ~the Dragon’s Empire~ that will potentially fall into chaos after his death. She needs to do strong nation-building NOW, before the Last Battle, to try to make sure it will survive after the Last Battle. “The woman in her cringed to think of planning for Rand’s death, but the Queen could not be so squeamish.” She notes that, as far away from Rand as she currently is, all she ever feels from him these days is a cold anger. Don’t worry, Elayne. Min was literally right there with him and that’s all she ever seemed to be able to sense too.

But this is actually very similar to how Rand wanted to make sure that Arad Doman chose its own king to avoid falling into chaos after his death in the Last Battle, so Elayne and Rand manage to be on the same wavelength even if they are still cruelly separated by the narrative. This is one of the things that @markantonys and I strongly agree on: that a big part of the reason Elayne and Rand are separated for so long is because Elayne is the one person who could have helped Rand with his rulership struggles as an trained leader who understands the issues and understands that you NEED to be ruthless sometimes (but also understands when not to be ruthless).

31. With Elayne, we were still pre-epiphany but when we jump to Min’s PoV, it is decidedly post, as she can feel warmth in the bond and not just Rand’s cold anger.

32. “Alanna didn’t often reveal her intimate connection to the Dragon Reborn.” lol, except for all the Wise Ones, in order to wiggle out of punishments. And all the Aes Sedai, to try to establish precedence. Except for that. Anyway, she’s disappeared from her rooms in the Stone of Tear.

33. When Cadsuane and Min point out that Cadsuane cares that Alanna is missing because she’s a ~tool~ to use on Rand, Nynaeve says that Alanna is “no more helpful” to Cadsuane than Min. So... she tells Cadsuane everything and obeys her frequently? Why is the narrative trying to pretend that Min isn’t constantly helping out Cadsuane? It literally just happened again at the end of TGS! She’s been obediently telling all her viewings to Cadsuane for her to dissect! Nynaeve was IN THE ROOM when this was happening! Or is this meant to reflect Nynaeve’s own distorted view of Min?

34. oh, lol, when Min reacts to Rand arriving in the bond, her Maiden ‘guards’ promptly abandon her and race off to find Rand. So, I guess the Min-Maiden relationship is still... not great, lol.

35. Rand shows up and I really dislike that all of this new!Rand is filtered through outside PoVs. It makes it hard for me to emotionally relate with zen!Rand because I can’t see his interior world. This is also a place where the timeline fuzziness kinda hits the worst, because we’re going right from cold!Rand in Elayne’s bond to warm!Rand in Min’s bond. Moving Rand’s epiphany further back in this set of books would help with that. Min actually panics for a moment, upon seeing Rand, because his eyes look older and he doesn’t seem familiar. “Had the Rand she loved been stolen away, replaced by some ancient force of a man she could never know or understand?” Hmm.

And then he smiles and she does recognize him -- responding to her panic in the bond, maybe?

36. I will, uh, note that Rand did not go directly to Min when he arrived in Tear. Just gonna quietly note that down. He waited for her to find him.

37. He talks to Rhuarc (and the assembled Aiel, including the Maidens) and tells them that he knows that he has toh to them and that he is prepared to meet it. And Rand finally seems to have his relationship with the Maidens back (with Min still baffled at the interactions between Rand and the Aiel).

38. It actually seems clear here (even filtered through Min) that Rand is still somewhat of a boiling pot, though the wound has been lanced. But now he really FEELS the pain over Lan heading towards Tarwin’s Gap, when before he was able to numb most of his emotions through the general ice-cold/molten-hot anger that he was constantly repressing with the flame & void. Now he’s feeling again and that can be... difficult. But he’s still rush-rush-rush and talking about potentially dying soon. So it’s clear that there’s complicated stuff going on in his head and we are TRAPPED in Min’s PoV and only get hints of it second-hand through the bond! But he does promise Nynaeve that he will send Lan help.

39. Rand gives Min the mission to find out why Callandor is key to the prophecies. lol, sure, whatever. I guess we have to give Min ~something important~ to do because she doesn’t actually have a plot purpose and hasn’t had one in quite a long while. Hey, if it means she’s actually doing something and not just surgically-attaching herself to Rand at all times, then I guess it’s worth it.

40. Anyway, Rand tells Cadsuane that she succeeded by failing, lol.

41. Min bashing on the nobles for not having a purpose when she only has a job because her boyfriend gave her one, lol.

42. Anyway, Rand lines up the nobles and susses out that Weiramon and Anaiyella are Darkfriends. If I recall correctly, I’d guessed on Weiramon back during my initial read of TPoD (way back when it was first published) so it was very vindicating for me when he was finally called out as a DF lol. I remember feeling vindicated, anyway, lol. Anaiyella was one I could have gone either way on, but it makes sense for Weiramon to have an accomplice. I... don’t mind Rand’s Darkfriend-vision because, yeah, let’s move the plot along, lol. I just, again, wish that it had been pushed towards the end of this book instead. But the talent itself kinda goes along with the other stuff Rand has been saying about how he’s a bright beacon for the Shadow now and cannot avoid TDO’s eyes.

Instead of killing Weiramon and Anaiyella, he sends them off to bring a message to the Shadow that they will no longer be able to hide among his allies.

43. There’s a great moment with Rand and his dad, though I kinda roll my eyes at Min needing a ~very special~ formal introduction to Tam (who she already knows at this point because he’s been hanging around Tear for three days).

Ah, well. If I do my best to ignore Min, lol, I really liked that scene.

I really do wish that we’d had even a tiny bit of Rand PoV, though. It’s very frustrating only seeing him through other people’s eyes.

I feel like this has gotten long enough (I spent... a lot of time talking about Mat, as I’d suspected that I might, lol) so I will end this post here.

#wot reread #towers of midnight #wot #wheel of time #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #mat cauthon #little bit of elayne and rand and perrin

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myloveforhergoeson · 28 days

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Hey there! :) For the ask game: 1, 2, 3, 8, and 13.

hello!! thank you for the ask! i love the questions <3

how did you become a big time rush fan?

my college roommate introduced me our sophomore year! my spotify tells me i added my first btr song to my playlist on oct 5th 2021 if we want to get specific about it. i wasn't allowed to watch nickelodeon growing up - had i been, i would have definitely been a fan when it was airing! i'm a huge boyband girlie, so my roommate was shocked when she asked me if i'd ever seen btr and i didn't even know what it was. i only knew of the song big time rush through that "why are you in such a big time rush?" vine :)

2. who is your favorite member (and why)?

in the showverse, james 100%! if you couldn't tell by my blog i love him very much. cute, silly, a little bit stupid... dream guy fr. but irl, definitely kendall! from interviews i think our personalities are similar and we'd vibe together well :) he seems really sweet and laid back. i also really love his work outside of btr

3) what are your top three favorite big time rush songs?

worldwide, paralyzed, picture this! worldwide bc it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy whenever i hear it. paralyzed because it's closest to my music taste outside of boybands; musically i think it's just incredible with the blend of rock elements into the love song and vocally the boys just kill it. i wish they had more songs like that. picture this because i love the little storyline woven throughout because it's so vivid i feel like they're singing to me and it always makes me want to put together a scrapbook lol! and the guitar is soooo sweet. honorary mentions to amazing, like nobody's around, love me, love me, this is our someday, and time of our life

8) who's your favorite character from the show?

lucy :) she is the loml i wish they didn't do her so dirty. i feel like she was created as a caricature of punk/emo culture and there was a big waste of opportunity to have her introduce her pop friends to a new genre idk. i'm very big into pop/punk/emo and i wish we got more of her music in the show as well even if it's not about her. the snippet of "you dumped me for her" always leaves me wanting a full song! and i really wish they didn't force her into a relationship with james lmao; they've both got some things to work out about themselves when they get together and i don't think them being together fits either of their characters! but regardless, she is my favorite. i love a little pot-stirrer alt girl :) and a singer songwriter? all on her own? such insane talent they do not really commend her on!!

13) what's your favorite picture of big time rush?

ughhh i just went through all my concert photos and none of them are any good 😭 but i’ll pick an oldie-

this one!! can’t explain why tbh, i just think they all look so cute :)

#thank you so much again!! wonderful game :)#chats with ash

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jyushi-thoughts · 8 months

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have you watch the Takoyaki Party? how do you like it? I'm kinda satisfied cause I'm surprised by the descriptions about Totoko's growth😊she's such a nice girl who loves fish as always☺️☺️

OOC: I have! Funny you send me this ask, I was just about to talk about it on my main! EXTREMELY LONG RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Ahh what a sweet little movie.. While the wacky shenanigans are my favorite part of this show, I always still love a slice of life "nothing happens" kind of plot. And it couldn't have come at a better time honestly. I've been feeling like Totoko a lot lately.

As a character, Totoko hasn't really been focused on in depth very often, but it's clear that she's always had a problem with comparing herself to others. She always wants to be better than everyone else, and feels self conscious about it. She's also always trying to force herself into feminine stereotypes that don't really fit her personality or interests. It's nice to see that explored a little more here, though it's osomatsu san so they won't get too deep into it of course.

She's anxious at the pressure to become a "real adult" like Nyaa and her brother Fighting Yowai are. Specifically the focus here seems to be on having children. I mean when you really think about it, that's the supposed "end goal" of being what society says is a "proper adult" yknow? Especially for women. She's clearly feeling kinda behind when she's seeing Nyaa chan be an independent single mother, and now with her brother coming home with his wife and new baby. Totoko is nowhere near ready to be independent like that.

Sooo it's easier to just forget about real life for a while and hang out with the Matsus! They're always the same, ever since they were kids! They're not "real adults" either, but they seem to be carefree and having lots of fun every day! So everyone in town who has to work so hard, they can just party with the matsus for as long as they can!

The matsus are sorta anxious about their lack of independence too, but that feeling kinda lessened ever since season 1. It seems like over time they accepted it to the point where they're PROUD to be NEETS now, or at least apathetic to it. So to them, they don't really understand why everyone else wants the sleepover to last forever. Time stands still for them anyway.

Plus either way, while they are pressured by society to be "proper adults", it's kinda different for them as cis men. Totoko's focus on having children is something that comes with very different social expectations and baggage. Pretty much all women are expected to be mothers someday, and it can feel incredibly stifling and stressful when you know that there's a time limit on that. A time limit on finding a partner and settling down, thats terrible! Plus then, even when that happens, the idealized version is never the reality. At the party, everyone is so happy. The old guys are full of energy, and Nyaa's toddler is behaving as a perfect cute angel. But in the split second flashbacks at the end, we can see the tedium of their day to day jobs, Matsuyo coping with aging, the struggles Nyaa goes through to raise her baby alone, ...Dayon's cat dies or something.. idk

So isn't it easier to forget about that reality and hang around with the matsus, who always go at their own pace? That's way more fun!

I've also been thinking too, on a more personal level. Gosh this show is 8 years old. ITS 8 YEARS OLD!!! ITS IN THE THIRD GRADE! What a nightmare the passage of time is. So yeah I've been feeling like Totoko. And I'm sentimental about this show! For whatever reason, my brain decided to fixate on it for all this time.

The matsus were kinda my ambassadors to adulthood really. I just graduated highschool and was starting my first semester of college when I first watched this show. And the feeling of "oh god we're supposed to be adults but we don't know what we're doing!!" that went from being funny to WAY TOO RELATABLE super quickly. And man, back then I certainly didn't think id still be feeling that way after 8 years. I'll probably be feeling it forever. Buuut reality still goes on and time is passing, and we're all older and Nyaa chan's baby is a toddler now. But the matsus are the same, and for a little while we can forget about reality and party with them for a little while~!

Even if the matsus are reeeeeeallly sick of it..

And that reminds me of another thing too. When the matsus were like sick and dying and begging for sleep when the whole town was forcing them to keep partying... That.. was meta commentary right? Like, I can't interpret that any other way. Like the show writers are just trying to tell us that they're BURNT OUT. Which, let's be fair, that's understandable I guess. (I mean not to ME because I feel like the matsus have infinite stories they could be used for but. anyway.) If that's true, and the writers are just begging to let the matsus finally go to sleep. I'm kinda fine with it! I genuinely think that this movie is a PERFECT series finale. It brushes on the anxiety of adulthood that the show is known for, it gives a spotlight to the beloved side characters, and it feels like a nice calm little summary of the whole thing. We had a fun party with these guys, and we can go back and play with them whenever we get tired of being adults for a while.

...so yea! I liked it! :3

And I'll be ready in 20-30 years when they reboot it as Osomatsu-Ojiisan where the brothers are all middle aged lmao

#osomatsu san

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majestic-ruiqing · 2 months

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Hermits as Songs from the Mario Kart Wii OST

(yes specifically Wii, not mariokart 8. Their rendition of moo moo meadows is bad)

Bdubs- Maple Treeway (pretty song for the man with pretty builds. who am I kidding, all their builds are pretty lol. still think this one is vibey and suits him)

Beef- Moo Moo Meadows (yes, I think the chill vibes fit him, it's not just because there are cows. It's maybe a little bit just because there are cows)

Cleo- Luigi Circuit and Mario Circuit (first off, can't believe they used the same song for two courses. second off, nice song with interesting stuff going on throughout. she can have two courses, as a treat)

Cub- GBA Battle Course 3 (funky beat with higher energy and also just plain fun)

Doc- Grumble Volcano (spooky ominous song for the man who insists on playing a villain lol, but there's still more to it to make the song interesting)

Etho- N64 DK's Jungle Parkway (can't believe this man always builds in a jungle. same tune all the way through reflects his consistency in content [I mean this in a good way lol, his videos are great])

False- Rainbow Road (pretty song, gives me the sort of grand feeling that reminds me of her s9 base)

Grian- Chain Chomp Roulette (I don't know how to explain it but half the tune sounds like it's a satire of the funky chicken dance. Kinda baffling but still a good time)

Gem- Coconut Mall (a lot of fun but not overwhelmingly chaotic, iconic)

Hypno- SNES Battle Course 4 (look man idk, it's literally past midnight and this is what I'm doing. it fits his vibe I think)

Impulse- DS Delphino Square (good song with a lot going on, but balances it all very well)

Iskall- GCN Mario Circuit (great song with just the right amount of funk to it to keep things interesting)

Jevin- GBA Shy Guy Beach (got me boppin my head man, very pleasant tunes)

Joe- SNES Ghost Valley 2 (less a song and more like two minutes of spooky noises being strung together, which sounds like the kind of bit he'd commit to. Beetlejhost)

Joel- Moonview Highway (high energy, kinda crazy, lots of fun and great vibes)

Keralis- GCN Peach Beach (matches his tropical vibe this season)

Mumbo- Koopa Cape (kinda weird. kinda funky. half of it sounds like it's underwater, who comes up with this stuff)

Pearl- Mushroom Gorge (bouncy, lots of personality, lots of layers to the music and lots of layers to the detailing in her builds)

Ren- Aqua Resort (a banger, keeps things insteresting all the way through, a lot of fun)

Scar- GCN Cookie Land (not just because of the cookie shop lol. bouncy tune, a good time for Mr. Goodtimes)

Skizz- Finished Race [First Place] Results (not a course related song but still a banger, giving it to him because he deserves first place, and because I've only got good memories associated with it)

Stress- Daisy Circuit (pretty song, fairly chill with just a bit of a kick to it, reminds me of her brand of chaos)

Tango- Toads Factory (very industrial, fits his base this season. I was tempted to give it to Doc though)

TFC- Wario's Gold Mine (while a chiller track would probably fit him better, we're settling for the Mine One. Still a good song though)

Wels- N64 Mario Raceway (a bit calmer as far as some of these songs go, but no less interesting and fun for it)

xB- DK Snowboard Cross (calm. vibey. could have half his house blown up in demise and still be cool about it)

Xisuma- Block Plaza (fun, and the blocky noise reminds me of tech-related kinda stuff. not exactly reflective of his more naturey build style, but does relate a bit to his minecraft update videos or redstone work)

Zed- Dry Dry Ruins (much like this song randomly switching to a completely different song halfway through, I never know what he'll be doing next)

Playlist of the songs if anyone cares enough to listen to it and tell me why I'm wrong lol, but given I spent several hours on this and most people don't listen to the mario kart wii soundtrack for fun, I'm willing to assume I'm in safe waters

#hermitcraft #ruimblings

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9800sblog · 10 months

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Can you please do a reading on han sohee possibly featuring in jungkook's solo mv. Maybe how she feels about this project and their dynamic? Or why her (in a nice way) like is there a specific vision he had for his solo that she fits!

Thank you so muchh!!

hi sorry for the delay!!! ><

why her specifically?

2 of pentacles, 2 of cups reversed, 2 of wands, queen of cups

it's definitely because of the visuals and the dynamic they show on screen, he thinks she delivers the emotions that he's conveying through the song. I think the music video is a couple that looks very good together, but doesn't actually work out. it might be about heartbreak and she's really good at acting like that, she's just a really emotionally charged actress. and they look good together. it might be a bonnie and clyde thing or just two people who are so obsessed with each other that they can't let it go. it's hard to tell what's the concept, but he chose her very specifically because of the type of acting that she does and her aesthetic/beauty for sure, she fits the idea.

how does she feel about it

king of pentacles, temperance, 8 of pentacles, 10 of swords, page of cups

I heard "he's a smart kid", she really likes the finished work, she admires him as an artist and she's really satisfied with the project. i think it's different from what she's used to, so it was a good new experience for her, something new for her repertoire (idk if she's ever been in music videos, but I think that's what it's talking about). she's definitely being affected by the hate she is receiving and I think she feels it will get worse once it's released. nonetheless, it was a really good opportunity and business, she seemed to have gotten along easily with him, they have on screen chemistry, which is necessary. I think she admires him even more after seeing him working behind the scenes, cause she got to see the process.

how does he feel about it

ace of wands reversed, 6 of swords reversed, the empress, queen of wands reversed, ace of pentacles

I think this is obviously talking about fan treatments first of all, the queen of wands reversed is standing out to me as a bully and a condescending, jealous individual, I think he's unsatisfied with the response and is (again) expecting it to get worse after it's release. he may be feeling nervous of ruining her reputation and overthinking his idea to cast her. I wouldn't be surprised if the company has been preparing for this for a long time (aka the enhypen comeback). either way, he feels that he needs this, to free himself from the bts baggage, he's been in the same group since he was a kid, a child, he thought deeply about it. he's excited! this is his baby, he's never done anything like this, to be in control of your own art and work after so many years, it feels good. he also really admires her, or else he wouldn't have chosen her, right? she's the empress, she's making the song have actual legitimacy and professionalism, beauty, he feels that she's making the music video what it is, that she's the reason why it's so good (i mean, she is a hella good actress)

their dynamic

in the music video

(accidentally deleted the text with the cards)

they win through the odds, they may fight in the video, but they would make up. it's an expensive couple, maybe, who loves shiny and dangerous things, I think robbery might be involved. lavish shows of money. may be "us against the world" type of thing. I'm getting dangerously by charlie puth, 7 rings by ariana grande, ain't no mountain enough by marvin gaye.

irl

this is the least exciting part of this reading, it immediately felt so boring lmaoooo

6 of wands reversed, king of swords, the magician reversed, 3 of pentacles

if they're close they won't let anyone know because of public appearance. they're definitely friendly, they don't have any animosity, and they work well together. might be exclusively work thing.

#bts tarot #jungkook #han so hee #tarot

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imperial-topaz2003 · 1 year

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Mass Effect Questionnaire

I saw @littleneonlily do this, so I figured I'd give it a shot, too, while I still have Mass Effect on the brain. 1. Tie between Garrus, Wrex, and Liara

2. Mordin, Samara, Zaeed, and Garrus again

3. Liara again, Kaidan, and Garrus...again

4. The M-76 Revenant. Who doesn't love a non-stop barrage of death?

5. Still like the Revenant, but if you want me to pick something else, I'll do the N7 Crusader

6. Soldier. Go ahead, call me bland, but I think it best fits both the gameplay and the story. Though I do also like the Vanguard and Sentinel classes.

7. Noveria in Mass Effect 1. I dunno why, but I just love the atmosphere this planet has, both setting and story wise.

8. Tying in with the above, the entirety of Noveria's arc, for the same reasons, with Bringing Down the Sky right behind it.

9. The Suicide Mission itself, which is my favorite level in all of gaming. Runner-ups would have to include Garrus's Recruitment, Tali and Grunt's Loyalty Missions, and the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC.

10. It's gonna be a tie between Priority Rannoch and Tuchanka. And the entirety of the Citadel DLC, too.

11. Depends. With Male Shepard, I like to pair him with Kaidan (shameless Mshenko fan here). With Female Shepard, I like to romance Liara. For Runner ups, I'd do Garrus and Tali (hetero normies)

12. I kinda wish James Vega was a romance option, preferably Bi, because I love my himbos. Other than that, I'd love to see some bisexual romance options from currently romanceable companions, such as Garrus, Tali, Thane, and Miranda.

13. Mako. Both control like ass, but at least the Mako isn't made of wet tissue paper.

14. Oh boy, you guys are gonna hate me for this one, but to me...it's Tali. Look, I don't hate her at all. In fact, she's pretty good, but HOLY SHIT, some of her fans are zealous.

15. I dunno how the rest of the fandom sees them, but I do really like Samantha Traynor and Steve Cortez. For side characters, they're really well written, both character and romance wise.

16. Haven't played Multiplayer in ages.

17. Refer to above, though I do recall liking the Earth maps.

18. I'd say SR-2. If you wanna be more specific, I like the version of it in ME3.

19. Destroy all the way...and maybe control. I know, E.D.I. and the Geth won't survive, but it's not like folks are just gonna forget how to rebuild synthetics (unless you're a moron who gets everyone killed). Control is a decent runner up if you wanna spare the robots. Synthesis is bullshit space magic (seriously, what the fuck even happens in Synthesis?). And Refusal is just...dumb.

20. I tend to lean more towards Paragon. Granted, I do make some Renegade Choices here and there, either for the sake of pragmatism or sheer amusement, but generally, the Shepards I play will lean a bit more on the Paragon side.

Not tagging anyone this time, since IDK how many of my mutuals are Mass Effect Fans, but feel free to give it a shot.

#mass effect #mass effect questionnaire #questionnaire #commander shepard #kaidan alenko #liara t'soni #urdnot wrex #garrus vakarian #tali zorah #mordin solus #zaeed massani #samara #samantha traynor #steve cortez #mshenko #femshep x liara

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courtney-deserved-better · 6 months

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8 and 24 for the fanfiction ask!

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Courtney sighs. “And there goes the numbers advantage.” Bridgette squeezes her shoulder. “Hey, we’ve beat worse odds before. We’ll be fine.” “Yeah,” Courtney gives her a small smile. “I’m sure you’re right.”

this is from the courtney time travel au 👀

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

ooo this is a good question (and very fitting considering the ask i just answered)! usually it depends on who the "main characters" of the fic are, like alejandro and noah for slippery slopes, and the main six for amicus curiae, and then who i think will serve the story best by seeing their pov based on the events that happen if that makes sense?

like chapter 12 of amicus curiae was written in emma's pov instead of kitty's (even though that broke the pattern) because i thought writing their argument from kitty's pov would make emma seem very one dimensional while writing it from emma's pov could give the reader insight into why she's behaving meanly. we get all this information about how emma wants to protect her sister and believes she's acting logically and isn't intending to come across as harshly as she is, while from kitty's pov emma would (reasonably) just seem like a major bitch because she isn't verbally expressing any of this.

i like writing in the povs of characters that can be easily seen as rude to others to get inside their heads and see where they're coming from. that's a big reason of why i wrote hawaiian style from duncan's pov of all people, because he's very unsympathetic in slippery slopes and i wanted to not only give him some kind of redemption but flesh him out more so that we can understand why he's doing what he does. (this is making me think i should write more fics from heather's perspective...)

and also sometimes i just gravitate toward a specific character depending on the scenario! i absolutely LOVE writing from courtney's pov, she's one of the characters i feel like i understand and can flesh out the most, and not only does she have one of the highest counts of chapter povs in amicus curiae but ive already written 70k words from her pov for the time travel au and im not even halfway done. i LOVE writing from courtney's pov. but for some reason whenever i write gwourtney fics i tend to gravitate toward writing from gwen's pov even though i rarely write from her pov outside of gwourtney fics. idk what it is!

thanks for the ask!

#ask #ask game #amicus curiae

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fullmetalscullyy · 9 months

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I read some of your fics and let me just say that I LOVED them!!!! Riza and Roy's relationship was just beautifully written!!! Can I ask if you have any specific headcanons or aus you want to ramble about?

AAAAAA THANK YOU 🥰🩷💖💗

i will preface this with saying it's been about 5 years since i actually watched fma lmao so my concept of royai in general and canon may be (definitely is) skewed purely by my own self indulgence, delusions, and poor memory (for real, i read a fanfic once where they said grumman's first name was walter and i took that on board and for about 8 years thought that was his canon name 💀 i'm easily influenced hahaha) but who cares i'm thriving anyway so i'm happy 😌

ok so. headcanons

most of these change with my mood or what fic i'm writing to fit in with the story i'm writing. i love having flexibility and things to play around with lol

roy calls riza "my love"

tenderness ✅ affection ✅ adoration ✅

this man dragged himself back from the brink of death/unconsciousness under central just so he could go to riza (and alphonse but shhh just riza)

roy fell first

riza fell slowly

he fell HARD and when riza realised she was like "oh shit 😳"

feelings developed tentatively when they were young (roy was both scared of but impressed by quiet, feral little riza). he was patient tho and eventually, riza fell too

idk when they each realised. i like to play about with that idea like toys in the sandbox lol so it chops and changes depending on my mood

they're both v professional obvs and hide their feelings well but sometimes roy gets a wee bit too into the role he ""plays"" while speaking to elizabeth and hears about it later. but he just shrugs and doesn't care bc how can he be sorry when he gets to pretend he's in love, or close to it at least, w elizabeth - not that there's any actual pretending hehehehehe

they end up becoming a dog family. all the pups. because it's what riza wants

realistically, would they have kids together?? hmmm ask again later but in my mind where there's 0 consequence and things are hand wavey yes 😌 need girl dad roy and mama hawk in my life

there is definitely a way they could play marriage between them and having a family strategically and politically and i've read some fab fics and thoughts where they do but i'm not clever enough to think anything up hahaha but i feel like they absolutely would in the canon world. it would suit them and their goals well if they did

obvs the kid would be loved and doted on don't get me wrong it would just be convenient that it worked out politically for them too

i'm sure i have more rattling about in my brain somewhere but i was up at half 4 this morning for a road trip and this is all i got for now hahaha

in terms of aus, i don't have anything cooking atm. i would love to delve into another one but i've done so many at this point i feel i've exhausted my wee list but!! also accomplished and written everything i've wanted to write for royai 🥰

however. i will say. for years i've been dreaming of a royai/x files au. royai as mulder and scully??? roy the believer and riza the skeptic??? stunning. i would LOVE to write that but i just. do not have it in me anymore unfortunately. that being said, i will never say never!! it might eventually come back around to me. but we'll see :)

thank you for the ask!!!!! and the kindness 🥰🩷

#awww writing this wee list and having a think was the perfect way to pass the time while travelling 🥰#missing royai now actually miss writing for them!!#royai #headcanons #ask #beesbeesdragons

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bratshaws · 2 years

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goodness gracious 77. brb x oc

a/n: WE ARE ENTERING A NEW ERA GUYS!!! WOOOOOOOOO god IDK IF I SHOULD BE AS EXCITED AS I AM RN (jk yes i should) also I never moved in with anyone so.........uh yeah, if something is off then, you guys can tell me hah

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pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff??, Bea's brothers (esp Michael ) being a gd menace

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

It took her a few calls to Gabriella, after looking at some more houses themselves, for her to contact the person responsible for that specific place. And within a few minutes, literally less than fifteen, they got their new place. It’d be free by the time their own leases were done with, just like they planned to and they couldn’t even believe it.

That house was within their budget and it was amazing to look at. Mediterranean-esque architecture in tones of terracotta and brownish yellow, with a big driveway- and a garage - that could fit two big cars there easily. And a pool. They got a pool! How hard is it to find a good house,with a good price with a pool?? Not even her parents had a pool! Not to mention the backyard was really big as well, with a patio that could fit quite a few people - especially when it came to her family.

Both Bea and Rooster couldn’t contain their smiles, high fiving each other and then Rooster engulfed her in a bear hug without any means of letting go. The lady responsible for the house was also very happy when she found out it’d be their first house together and said that they were just a cute couple of newlyweds. Neither of them corrected her, but both of them seemed to get sheepish when she said so.

Three bedrooms with a master suite that had a balcony that looked over the backyard and had a beautiful ocean view - not front beach propriety but definitely good enough for them. They were allowed to take Jolene on the visit, the pitbull confused as to why this brand new place was so empty, but her paws clicked on the wooden floors all the way to the grassy backyard. It wouldn’t be surprising when she immediately dropped on a sunny spot and there she stayed during the whole visitation, only getting up to get back inside the Bronco.

She was so happy she completely ignored how her phone kept buzzing and pinging with messages, breaking the lip lock she and Rooster shared to tilt her head to her phone on the nightstand, “Just a second,Roos.” he moaned in disappointment, keeping his face on the crook of her neck and his arms around her waist as she stretched herself the best she could to grab her still buzzing phone.

There were a few messages there: one from Shells in all caps about how she ‘NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MOVING IN WITH ROOSTER!!!’, one from Marcus letting her know the photos would be done by the end of the month and he’d send her some and the last ones…were from Michael. Her brother wasn’t one to send messages, he preferred calling or having a face to face conversation, so to her it was odd that he did. She noticed most of her siblings rarely texted, but especially Leo and Michael.

That was when his name, and picture, appeared on the screen, “Sorry Roos, Michael is calling.” she says, but doesn’t move his head away when he props his chin between her breasts, stretching the shirt on her bust, “Hello?”

“Hello sister, care to say why you are not at your house right now?”

Beatrice’s eyebrows furrowed, “How do you know I’m not at my house?”

“Because I’m standing in front of it like a goddamn idiot, knocking on the door and pressing the doorbell to receive no answer? Plus there’s no car in your driveway.”

“Wait, you are in Cali?”

“Yes. Didn’t anyone tell you I moved back?”

Beatrice’s eyes widened, pushing herself to a sitting position and in turn making her tall boyfriend roll to the side to give her space, “Moved back? Why? I thought you liked New York?”

“Eh, I felt like it. Plus a friend of mine offered me a job here so…I’m back home.”

“But why are you in front of my house??”

“Sheesh, can't I visit my little sister? Where are you anyway?” Beatrice opened her mouth to answer, but Michael cut her off “Ohhh, are you with Bradley, sis? I’m sooooorryyyy, I didn’t want to break you little romantic moment!”

“Michael-” her older brother, a man who was forty one years old, proceeded to make kissy sounds over the phone, much to his sister’s clear unimpressive reaction, “I stay with Brad sometimes, yes, that’s why I’m here.”

“Ohhhh, how romantic. Look at you, being married before marriage.” she didn’t know if Brad heard what he said or if her sudden intake of air made him suspicious but Michael joking about it was…clearly making something inside her turn, “Listen, Gui is helping me out with some stuff, moving shit around. I’ll see you later. Love you!!”

“I love you too.” she hangs up the phone, seeing Rooster was now sitting against his headboard with his arms crossed and his lips tilted in a smirk, “Michael moved back to Cali.” he arches his eyebrows with surprise, “I never think he’d leave New York…but again, knowing him I shouldn’t be surprised.” he was too electric to stay in one place for too long and he was in New York for almost twenty years now.

“And he showed up at your place?” she nods, pushing herself to sit next to him against the headboard, placing her phone on top of her thighs and sighing softly, “It’s not so bad, is it? Having him back?”

“Oh no, it’s not. Michael is…a bit weird but he’s not a bad guy, you know?” she grins, her shoulders relaxing as she breathes out. Her mind going back to the new information they got earlier that day, her smile widening, “We really got a place. And it’s a pretty one.”

Bradley nods, “And it’s big.” their voices were breathy, almost dreamlike intonation because neither could really believe it was already done. He looked around his apartment, he spent quite some time there but he was happy to have a house once again, he liked this but he preferred the space a house would have.

He’d have this week and the next one to arrange everything for the move, since half of the things came with the apartment he’d have just a few things to take care of. Imagining both of them carrying their things into the new house was probably one of his favorite things to think about right now.

It was exciting! And he knew it was a step in the right direction. He knew that this is what he wanted, and what she wanted too. It was soon compared to other people’s relationships, yes, but it felt right. “I have no idea where he’s living now, he said Gui came over to help him with the move.” Bea’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, turning his head towards her with his eyebrow up, “God, can you imagine if he suddenly becomes my neighbor? Or…sort of neighbor since I won’t live there soon enough?”

He chuckles, leaning closer to kiss her cheek and pulling back his phone when he felt it buzzing in his back pocket, “I think we’ll figure out soon enough.” he looks down at the screen to check what it was, “Ah, Payback is asking if I want to play football with them.”

“When?”

“In a few minutes.” he smiles, “It’s been a while since we did.”

Beatrice looks back at the phone then at him, “Well, you should go.” she grins, pressing their shoulders together, “It’ll be fun! I can be your personal cheerleader.” she said it as a joke, obviously, but Rooster’s eyes left the phone’s screen to languidly rake down the side of her body, clearly imagining such a thing with a little smirk on his face.

“Is that a promise?” His voice sounded so much deeper than normal, almost like it was coming from the depths of his chest, heavy with the obvious innuendo within each syllable. Beatrice’s cheeks turned red, laughing softly before she pushed herself off the bed, Rooster’s eyes still following her as she walked into the bathroom, “You didn’t answer!” he calls by the time she disappears inside, only seeing a glimpse of her hair moving and the soft sound of her laughter.

He waited a bit before he tossed the phone to the side, walking up to the bathroom door where he leaned his shoulder against, watching Beatrice fixing her hair while looking in the mirror, watching his own reflection with a tilt of his head, “Aren’t you going to answer me? It was a genuine question.” her eyes rolled with a smile, followed by the subtle shake of her head, “You can’t do that, because now I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Beatrice just looks over her shoulder, smiles then gives him an innocent shrug, “Maybe it’ll be something to think about when we…christen the new house.” she bites her lower lip after saying it, watching by the reflection on the mirror how his eyes darkened and his form went completely rigid, only moving to step closer to her and to hug her from behind.

“Evil woman.” he coos against her ear, pressing her back flush against his front, loving how her smile immediately widened and she stopped combing her fingers through her hair, “Now I’ll never stop thinking about it.” Beatrice chuckles quietly, a little humming sound that sounded as sweetly as her giggles, “But I love you because of that.”

“Just because of that?”

“Well, it is one of the many reasons.”he says, kissing the curve of her jaw soundly, “But I’d like to have you there too. It’ll give me a moral boost.” she laughs again, lifting her hand to rub the side of his face, about to walk away but his arms around her waist prevented it.

“Roos.” she says while giggling, his arms having an iron grip around her body, she could feel him lifting her off the floor little by little, “You have to let me go.” but of course he didn’t, because why would he? Beatrice shrieked when her legs were in the air, holding tightly on Rooster’s arms to keep herself stable and not tumble forward, “Brad!”

“He said in a few hours.” was his only reasoning, dropping her back on the bed and crawling on top of her, “Which means we’ll have to celebrate how we just got ourselves a place of our own.” her cheeks reddened, by both reasons, leaning her head up to meet his lips halfway in a deep kiss that brought a soft sigh out of her. He pulls back only to lock the door and then return to his previous position on top of her.

Ever since last night, because everything was very intense and a lot of feelings were involved, something changed. Neither of them could say why, but something changed, like their connection got stronger than before. “Mm, Roos.” she calls his name in a soft whisper, arching her back just enough for his large hands to slide under her shirt and travel all the way up to the clasps of her dark red bra, fingertips barely touching the laced elastic, “I thought you said Payback told you to go there in a few minutes?”

“He can endure a bit of lateness on my part.” he answers with his lips touching the side of her neck ,”I’m sure he’ll understand.”

–

Watching Rooster running around in those jorts and shirtless was quickly becoming one of her favorite things. Not that what he did normally wasn’t her favorite already, but it brought many memories of watching him from afar like a lovestruck teenager. She’s on the seating area outside the Hard Deck, with Penny and Shells on another seat and, surprisingly but not really, Evelyn with her legs crossed by the knee on the one farthest away from them.

Every once in a while Rooster would turn his head towards her, smile and point as if to tell her to ‘pay attention’ before he got the ball. Beatrice only smiled alongside him, leaning on her hand with hearts in her eyes, watching her amazing, handsome and absolutely lovely boyfriend run around the beach with his friends.

She was so focused on Rooster she couldn’t see Shell’s shifty eyes moving to her, nor when she traded places with her aunt to sit right next to Beatrice, who suddenly felt a warmth by her side and looked to Shells with surprise, “Were you planning on, I don’t know, letting us know you were going to move in with Rooster?” oh. Oh she never replied to Shells. And her friend’s unimpressed stare was enough for her.

“Oh,I just…well, we wanted to keep it a secret until we settled everything.” she replied in an apologetic tone, smiling sheepishly at Shells’ narrowed gaze, “I was going to tell you guys,I swear…and well, now that we got the house I think it’s fair that everyone should know.”

“You guys already got a house?” Penny leans forward from behind her niece, gently pushing the pouting blonde back to the seat, “Congratulations Bea! When are you guys moving in?”

“In a few weeks,” Beatrice replies, interlacing her hands in between her thighs and inhaling with a smile,”It’s a really nice place, my cousin Gabriella helped us find it.”

“You know what that means right?” Shells finally comes back, her lips no longer in an angry pout, “Housewarming party!”

While it was a great idea, Beatrice isn’t sure if she’d be able to do that. Especially since they were going to organize the furniture around the house and the house was very spacious. They’d only be able to actually furnish it completely in a few more months. She tells Shells that, but her friend just waved her hand as if she said something nonsensical, “Oh please, we’ll bring stuff and whatever, it’ll be fun!”

“I think Beatrice should be the one that decides that.” comes Evelyn’s calm voice from behind the brunette, her brown eyed gaze following Jake’s form as he ran on the beach, even with the sunglasses on her face it was easy to see she was admiring him. Penny agrees, which makes Shells return to her pouting and cross her arms, falling back against the seat’s back cushions.

“I’ll prepare something when we get it all done.” Beatrice tells her friend, patting her knuckles comfortingly, “I promise.” which she would, she just was enjoying the high of knowing she’d be moving in with her boyfriend in a matter of weeks and they’d be together and…well…something else might happen after, hopefully.

She didn’t see it, but Penny’s eyes were on her. Penny talked to Maverick after Rooster let him know he and Beatrice were going to live together, Pete looked ready to cry in front of his girlfriend, words going one hundred miles per minute saying how he was right and that they’d get married soon. He could feel it. Which at first Penny didn’t believe, not that much at least, until she saw the two lovebirds again that afternoon.

There was something really precious about the two, something so genuine Penny couldn’t really deny that she could see working. She only hoped the best for them and that they enjoyed their time together before and after they tied the knot. And that there was not hurry in doing so either.

Beatrice excused herself to go inside the bar to get some water, humming all the way up and making her way to the employees’ only fridge, grabbing a water bottle. She brings the bottle to her lips, but pauses when she hears three very distinct male voices, each one deeper than the other.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she walks to the double doors, hearing the voices getting louder and louder, holding the door handle and opening it at the same time someone did, which jolted her arm, the door staying in the same spot. Now that she was closer, she could easily identify who it was outside. She gave one more tug, but this time there was nothing - nor anyone - holding it back on the outside.

Beatrice’s green eyes met six more within the same shade range, going from lighter to darker, all of them staring down at her, “....hi, guys!” She squeaks out a greeting as she looks at her three older brothers, Michael in the middle with Leonardo on his left and Guillermo on his right, looking like Matryoshkas dolls because of their height.

“Little Bitty!” Michael tosses his arms up in a greeting, watching his sister close the door behind her before he gives her a bear hug that lifts Beatrice from the floor, “I’m so glad you are here! I wanted to see you!” Beatrice laughs nervously, shifting her eyes to Leonardo in exasperation, her brother just offered her an apologetic smile, “I felt, why not visit my little sister and treat her with something? Like lunch?”

“It’s three in the afternoon Michael.” Guillermo’s deep deadpanned voice said from his right, huge tattooed arms crossing over his shoulder, stretching the black shirt he was wearing. Michael rolled his eyes, but his smile remained when he placed Beatrice back down, combing a few strands of brown hair that got wild because of him picking her up.

“Ignore him.” He says with his hands on his hips, looking up at the bar with his lips pursed in an impressed expression, “So this is the Hard Deck, mighty nice I gotta say.” he hums, walking past Guillermo to walk around the area the best he could, lifting one hand to shield his eyes from the sun even if he had his sunglasses on, “Nice view too, lovely beach. Oh, hey! Someone is playing football!”

Beatrice avoids her oldest brother’s stare, only giving Leonardo another look but he just shook his head not knowing how to help, “Well, ah,” Beatrice meets Michael’s body, seeing that his favored attire was a white shirt unbuttoned to the middle of his chest - exposing the massive forest of chest hair - and three golden chains on his neck, the one closes to his collarbones had a small cross dangling from it, “Those are um, Brad and his friends, they usually play–”

“No way, Brad is there? Shut the fuck up,” Beatrice could only watch with wide eyes as Michael dropped from the sidewalk to the sand, turning her head when she sees Guillermo’s massive form following him in silence. Beatrice turns to Leonardo, giving him a questioning look yet again, mouthing ‘what is going on??’

“Listen I didn’t know you’d be here!” Leonardo whisper shouts, following his sister on the sand, both of them trying to keep up with the two oldest Schiavoni brothers, “I just told Mike you worked here, he was the one who brought us all along!” Beatrice makes a distraught noise, speeding up her step before the two of them could reach the seating area behind the bar.

She stops in front of Guillermo and Michael, the youngest of the two still grinning and looking like he just won the lottery, “You guys ah…c-can’t do um…that.” Michael’s eyebrows furrowed while Guillermo remained the same stone faced individual as before.

“Why not? Is it illegal or something?”

Was it illegal? The bar is closed and this was a beach, it wasn’t like Penny would call the cops on them because of that…right? She had no clue, oh shit what does she do? She hates how her brothers just show up out of nowhere, she hates it! “...no…?” Her unsure reply didn’t help, because both of them stepped forward and Beatrice squeaked, trying to hold them back the best she could, but Michael just laughed, patting her head and walking around her so her arms only remained on Guillermo…who was literally dragging her along as he walked.

“Bea.” her oldest brother calls, gently picking her under the arms to lift her up and put her aside, “Don’t do that, you might fall and get hurt.” his sister let out another desperate noise, looking from them to Leo then to the seating area where the other women weren’t aware of what was happening.

If she was fast…she could warn Penny. So she tried to run all the way back before her brothers reached the group of pilots, almost tripping over herself and finally arriving at the group of females she left behind. Beatrice held the back of a seat, heaving out her breaths “P-Penny, this sounds crazy but my brothers are here.” she says in one single breath, to which her boss looks in her direction with her brows furrowed in confusion, “A-And they want to play with the guys i-is that okay?”

Penny blinked at Beatrice, digesting the brunette’s words and laughing softly, “Yes, of course Bea. I only own the area from this spot backwards. There’s nothing wrong about it…they just need to tell the others and you know, make them aware.”

Oh.

Oh that was a lot better than she thought.

“Oh, ah, okay!I-I will!” Beatrice rushes back onto the beach, where Michael,Guillermo and Leo were currently watching the game. She meets Pete’s eyes from across the beach, he was on the side watching this whole game happen without playing this time. He uncrosses his arms when he sees she’s not alone there, giving one quick look at the pilots before he makes his way over. “H-Hi Pete.” she says softly, ‘Um, these are my brothers, they uh…want to play??”

Pete turned his head to the three men, the tallest of them all he knew. He showed up at the Hard Deck months ago and he had that disagreement with Beatrice, “Oh, really?” he has no idea if it’d be a good idea, especially with the tallest and biggest of them all, he towered pretty much every one of the boys, “Well, give me a second to call them.” Mav put his fingers inside his mouth and whistled, halting the game and waving them all over.

Bradley was the first one to arrive, seeing Beatrice and immediately thinking something had happened, “Bradley!” he didn’t even notice Michael was right there before he was greeted by a heavy slap in between his shoulder blades, the impact so hard he coughed out his breath in surprise, “Good to see you man!”

“G-good to see you too, Michael.” he coughs, smiling weakly before his eyes greet a nervous and apologetic Leonardo and a neutral eyed Guillermo who just kept his gaze on him the entire time, “I had no idea you guys were planning on coming over.”

“I wanted to see Little Bitty over there,” Michael juts his thumb toward Beatrice, then puts his hands on his hips, “Had no idea she’d be here right now nor there’d be a game, so I thought, why not just join?” his sister only had an aggravated expression, bringing up her fingers to rub the bridge of her nose, “Me and Gui? We were great football players. What position were you again Gui?”

Guillermo’s eyes move briefly to his brother, before returning to Bradley’s “Quarterback.”

“Yeah! And I was a linebacker!” Michael tosses a quick glance towards Leonardo, who just seemed like he didn’t want to be there, “Leo here wasn’t a footballer guy but he’s pretty good, ain’tcha bro?” Leonardo nods, still wishing he was anywhere but there. “So what do you say?”

Bradley however doesn’t say anything, it’s Payback who once he hears about it said that ‘the more the merrier!’ earning a bright grin from Michael and a subtle eyebrow raise from Guillermo. Leonardo questions if he should join or not, especially when the only two women from the group step back, “Jesus fuck.” he murmurs, giving Beatrice a look, “I don’t have a choice do I?”

The brunette looks to where Michael and Guillermo were, there was enough body hair in both of them to make a furcoat and they were…a lot bigger than the other pilots, maybe not as marble cut defined but definitely muscular, ‘I don’t think so Leo.” she shrugs with an apologetic look, “Do you want me to stay close? In case you need help?”

“Hrrm, just tell Cyn and Bibi I love them,” he groans, pulling out his Metallica shirt and shoes, tossing it to where his brothers’ left theirs, “Wish me luck.”

Bea gave him a double thumbs up, her eyes turning back to Bradley who stayed behind as the two men introduced themselves better to the ones left, “Brad,” he snaps his head down at her, his sunglasses over his eyes, “Guillermo is big but he’s kinda slow if you run to the left, also…both of them like brute force so someone…might…well…not be standing up for too long.” she winces, “So please be careful.”

“I will baby, don’t worry.” he leans down to kiss her lips, pecking them twice, “For good luck.” he lifts his sunglasses just enough to wink down at her, dropping them as he makes his way over to the group once more.

Beatrice smiles diminutively, but she is worried, “God, please don’t let them break them all too much, we just got a house to live together.” she mutters, clasping her hands in a prayer and closing her eyes, “Especially because of how Guillermo is.” She opens her eyes only to see her oldest brother rolling his massive shoulders and neck, his eyebrows low and jaw set tight.

This was going to be insane and she was hating it already.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader

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