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adhd-merlin · 11 months

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Vignette III: Butterflies

Gen, 3k words. | Technically Merwenthur but can be read as an Arwen + Merlin standalone.

Summary: In which there is a baby and two extremely tired parents. Oh, and a wizard.

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It’s not long after the second bell when Merlin slips into the servants’ passageway leading to the royal chambers. The king and queen don’t especially like to be disturbed in the morning these days, not when there’s no pressing appointment to prepare for, but they make an exception for Merlin. They usually do.

He’s the only one with the keys to this passage now, apart from Iona, the wetnurse who relieves Gwen of her motherly duties for part of the day.

Not that Gwen’s especially happy to be relieved.

She still insists on keeping Ygraine in her chambers and nursing her herself at night. In truth, even some days she prefers to keep Ygraine with her at all times. Merlin suspects that Gwen's reluctance to be parted from her daughter goes beyond the normal attachment of a mother to her first child, and is perhaps tinged with the apprehension of a parent who struggled for years to conceive.

Even Arthur — who, unlike his wife, has been raised in a royal household, and shouldn’t find it too strange to hand one’s offspring off to servants — seems to struggle with it. His fierce protectiveness is now mixed with a sort of helpless anxiety. The first few times anyone but Gwen held Ygraine in his presence, he would hover and watch them like a hawk, as if she were made of glass and might be dropped at any moment.

He’s more relaxed now. At least around Merlin. He still doesn’t like to leave Ygraine to nurses and servants anymore than Gwen does, which is why he hasn’t complained about their current sleeping arrangement. If any of the servants finds it weird, they have the wits to keep quiet about it, at least in Merlin's presence. But Arthur’s disregard for convention is hardly a secret: he married a commoner, knighted men with no title or asset to their name and called them brothers; and made a confidant out of his strange manservant. That he should be a little odd about his daughter, too, shouldn't come as a surprise.

Merlin hears the crying as he approaches the door. No point in being quiet, then. He lifts the latch, pushes the door open and steps into the bedroom.

Arthur is standing in the middle of it, wearing nothing but socks and his night tunic and a vexed expression, and bouncing his daughter in his arms in a manner clearly meant to be calming, but that Ygraine seems to find increasingly aggravating. Her hands are balled up in little fists, her face scrunched up in misery, and she is crying at the highest volume her small lungs will allow — which, it turns out, is surprisingly loud.

“Good morning,” Merlin says, mainly to alert Arthur of his presence.

He tries to keep his tone as neutral as possible. These days, Arthur can get snappish if Merlin greets him in the morning in a way he perceives as excessively cheerful, as if it were a personal affront.

He must have failed in making his greeting sound sufficiently bland, or perhaps the words themselves are disagreeable to Arthur today, because he doesn’t even bother to reply. The glare he directs at Merlin says it’s evidently not a good morning, and it won’t be, and how dare he insinuate otherwise.

Ygraine, who had briefly paused for air, resumes her wailing.

“Someone woke up in a mood,” Merlin mutters under his breath, walking to Arthur to peer at the unhappy bundle in his arms.

“Woke up implies she slept at some point during the night,” Arthur says — that, too, with unjustified hostility, though it’s not clear if directed at Merlin or at his own daughter.

“I wasn’t talking about her,” Merlin says. He reaches out to touch the tip of Ygraine’s nose, which interrupts her crying for a handful of seconds. “Hello there. So grumpy. You truly are your father’s daughter.”

Before Arthur can say anything, Gwen emerges from behind the bed curtains. She’s in her nightdress, barefoot, her hair braided rather than loose but looking oddly dishevelled, as if she slept on it.

“Give her here,” Gwen tells Arthur in a resigned tone, walking to him with her arms outstretched, and he carefully transfers Ygraine to her, with an air of defeat.

“Hello, Gwen,” Merlin says.

Gwen holds Ygraine close to her chest, and gives Merlin a thin smile. It hits him, when she turns to him — the tiredness in her eyes, that goes beyond mere physical exhaustion; the fatigue exuding from her movements, screaming of several sleepless nights, rather than just the one. She looks exhausted.

“You look exhausted,” Merlin says.

Gwen’s smile shrivels on her lips. “Thank you.”

“I mean,” Merlin goes on, unable to help himself, “you look about to fall over.”

“Yes,” Gwen snaps. “I heard you the first time.”

Arthur shoots Merlin a look. It’s a warning one, but there’s no hostility in it this time. It’s the look of one brother-in-arms to another, cautioning him to tread carefully.

Merlin shuts his mouth.

As they both watch in silence, Gwen starts rocking slightly side to side, making meaningless soothing noises at Ygraine, until the wailing slowly subsides, replaced by whines and displeased little hiccups. It’s clear that the rocking motion helped to placate Ygraine; it’s just as clear that Gwen has been doing it for most of the night, and would like nothing more than to lie down and sleep.

“I could take over for a while,” Merlin offers, quietly — partly not to upset Ygraine, partly because he’s not sure if he’s venturing into dangerous territory again. “If you’d like.”

At his side, Arthur snorts loudly, as if he had just said something amusing.

"She has strong feelings about being handed to other people today,” Gwen explains, sounding sorry about the fact, though Merlin can’t tell if it’s for her own sake or his. “She wouldn’t stop shrieking when I tried to hand her to Iona.”

“It’s true,” Arthur confirms. “She almost screamed herself hoarse.”

Merlin doesn’t have a great deal of experience with babies, present one excluded, but it’s his understanding that shrieking is what babies do, mostly — when they are not sleeping, or nursing, or soiling themselves. He refrains from pointing it out.

“You don’t think there’s something wrong with her, do you?” Gwen asks Merlin, with sudden worry. She presses her cheek against Ygraine’s forehead. “She doesn’t feel warm. She's drunk her milk as normal. It’s just… the crying.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Merlin reassures her. He holds out his arms. “Come on. Let me have a go.”

Arthur eyes him doubtfully. “It won’t work,” he says.

“Worth a try, isn't it?” Merlin says, with perhaps unwarranted optimism, and wiggles his fingers at Gwen.

After a moment’s hesitation, Gwen peels Ygraine off her chest, and Merlin goes to take her. He picks her up and holds her with her head cradled in the crook of his arm, so that she's looking up at him.

They all hold their breath as Ygraine's big, brown eyes set on Merlin’s face. She blinks a few times and goes still, and seems to study him for a moment.

“Hello, little lady,” Merlin says, and she opens her mouth to let out a happy gurgle.

“Oh, great,” Arthur says, in the misleadingly pleasant tone he sometimes adopts when feeling extremely peeved. “She hates me.”

“She doesn't hate you,” Gwen says. The way she says it makes it clear that it’s a sentence she had to use on him before, and one she doesn’t care to repeat.

“Well, clearly she does. Look at her.” Arthur gestures to Ygraine, now looking disrespectfully content in Merlin’s arms. His eyes travel up to Merlin’s face, and he narrows them at him. “Is it magic?”

“No!” Merlin says, a bit insulted at the idea that Arthur could think him capable of using magic on his baby. On any baby, really.

“I wouldn’t be upset if it was,” Arthur says. “I might even be happy to hear it.”

“It’s not magic.” Merlin laughs despite himself, although Arthur looks worryingly serious. “Sorry. Just my natural charm.”

“Perhaps it’s just seeing a new face,” Gwen ventures.

“A new face? She saw him yesterday.” Arthur steps towards Merlin to frown down at Ygraine. “And surely she can't be tired of my face already, it's only been two months.”

Merlin takes the chance to turn and stare at Arthur’s face, as if to examine it closely. “It takes some getting used to, to be fair. Give her a bit longer.”

Arthur gives him a withering look. He’s apparently too tired to come up with an appropriate comeback, which only seems to irritate him further, and Merlin’s quite sure that the only thing saving him from being thumped over the head is the fact that he’s holding his daughter.

Something small hits Merlin in the chest. He looks down. Ygraine brings up her fist again and gives him another bump. Then she opens her fingers, and closes them around a small handful of fabric — not quite grasping Merlin’s neckerchief, but with the clear intention of doing so. Her determination is greater than her dexterity, by a long mile.

Merlin smiles at her, and then looks at Arthur and Gwen. “Why don't you two lie down for a while? You look exhausted.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. We've just got out of bed,” Arthur says. “Some of us can’t lie about all day doing nothing.”

Behind him, though, Gwen sits down. Merlin’s not entirely sure she meant to do it.

“Not all day,” he says. “Just for a candlemark or two. You still have time until your meeting with the…” he trails off.

“Bakers’ guild,” Arthur supplies, sounding as if it pains him to remind him.

“Yes. That.”

Arthur rubs his hands over his face, as if to scrub the sleep away, and then runs one through his hair for good measure.

“I need to go over the latest grain reports before then,” he says.

His tone lacks conviction. He hates reviewing reports that are not about patrols or battles. So does Merlin. But Arthur’s hair sticks up in a way that makes him look forlorn and lost, and Merlin can’t help saying:

“I’ll have a look at them for you. See if there's anything noteworthy.”

Arthur looks at him. A brief battle plays out on his face — between his sense of duty, and the sweet call of sleep. But tiredness has weakened his resolve, and there’s only so much suffering a man can willingly inflict upon himself.

“Well,” he says, graciously, as if he were doing Merlin a favour in relenting. “If you’re sure.”

Ygraine, having failed to pull Merlin’s neckerchief to her mouth, has apparently decided that bringing her mouth to his neckerchief is the best course of action, and is smashing her face into his chest, as if looking for a nipple to latch on. At last, she closes her mouth around a fold of fabric and starts sucking on it, with an impressive amount of inquisitiveness and slobber.

“Thank you, Merlin,” Gwen says with a smile — a genuine one, this time. “If she starts crying again…”

“You’ll hear it,” Merlin interrupts. “I’ll be right here.”

* *

He continues to gently rock Ygraine where he stands for a while, waiting for Arthur and Gwen to fall asleep, which Arthur does almost immediately. Merlin knows this because he can hear his not-so-gentle snoring shortly after he’s hit the bed. He can hear Gwen turn and shift about for a little longer behind the bed hangings, but eventually the soft shuffling noises cease.

Having finished examining Merlin’s neckerchief with her mouth, Ygraine has now moved to a joint tactile and visual examination. She is scrunching her little hand in the damp flap of red fabric and staring at it with intense focus, as if it held all the secrets of the universe.

With a flick of his wrist, Merlin summons the reports lying on Arthur’s desk. The parchments roll up into a neat scroll and land into his open palm. He moves to the chamber adjacent to the bedroom, followed by Arthur’s floating inkwell and quill. They land on the dining table with a soft thud as he pulls out a chair with his foot. He sits down tentatively, and he re-settles Ygraine so that she’s lying half on his lap and half on his arm, freeing up his right hand.

Something about the move disturbs her. Perhaps it’s the new position, perhaps the new surroundings — but she suddenly looks up at him with startled eyes. She looks almost betrayed, as if Merlin had tricked her into calming down, or snatched her away from her mother by deceit.

“Hey,” Merlin starts, as her mouth twists threateningly.

Ygraine gives a half-hearted sob. It’s only small, as if she weren’t entirely convinced she should cry, but she is definitely considering it. After a moment of reflection, she seems to decide to go for it.

“Hey, hey,” Merlin repeats in a frantic whisper, as Ygraine breaks into little whimpery noises. “None of that.”

He grabs the quill and uses it to tickle her nose. It’s a bit of a gamble.

It doesn’t pay off.

Ygraine swings her arms about and turns her face away from the offending quill, and lets out a proper sob.

Merlin drops the quill.

“Oh, look!” he says, in the awed tone of someone who's just had a revelation, and holds his closed hand right in front of her face.

Ygraine forgets about her unhappiness for a second, and her eyes refocus on Merlin’s hand, so rudely re-introduced into her field of vision.

And Merlin hasn't decided what it is she should be looking at. That part, admittedly, was a trick. But he can tell from Ygraine's face that he only has a few seconds to come up with something, and it had better be worth the interruption.

"Look here," he says, and unfurls his fingers.

Sitting in the middle of his palm, there is a butterfly.

Not an especially remarkable butterfly. Its size is entirely normal. Its wings, fluttering open and closed, are a cornflower blue, dotted around the edges with orange specks. It looks common enough. Nothing about it marks it as a creature conjured by magic. Merlin probably drew from his own memories of butterflies seen fluttering about the meadow in spring, without even thinking about it.

Ygraine is absolutely mesmerised by it.

“Yes,” Merlin says, encouragingly. “Isn't it pretty?”

It occurs to Merlin that this is probably the first butterfly Ygraine’s seen up close. Maybe the first one she’s seen at all, because she’s only left the castle a handful of times since her birth, and was never taken very far from it. It is strange to think about — that she is experiencing something so simple, and so beautiful, for the first time.

The butterfly takes a couple of tentative steps, twitching her antennae, then it takes off with a flap of its petal-light wings. It flutters away — where, Merlin does not know, because he’s looking at Ygraine, who’s looking at his empty hand, as if she, too, could will a little creature into existence just by staring hard enough.

Merlin keeps his hand open. He calls to his magic, feels the warmth and pull of it in his hand, and this time he actually puts some thought into what he’s conjuring.

There’s a glow, and another butterfly appears in the same spot as the first one. It’s bigger than the other, with shimmery, fiery red wings, and specks of gold.

Ygraine coos in delight and wiggles her arms. The red butterfly flies off Merlin’s palm and lands right in the middle of her forehead.

Ygraine goes still. Then, she lets out an excited squeal, and shifts her head side to side, as if trying to catch sight of it. The butterfly walks across her forehead, triggering other high-pitched sounds of enthusiasm, and flies off and away.

Ygraine turns to Merlin again. She swings her fists around, knocking them — almost certainly by chance, rather than by design — against Merlin’s hand.

“All right, all right,” Merlin says, as if she had actually issued a command, rather than haphazardly wriggled about. “Another one.”

He lets the magic pool into his hand again. His palm glows with the same amber-gold that he knows must be flaring in his eyes.

“Watch closely,” he says.

* * *

Arthur’s peaceful sleep is interrupted, some time later, by the feeling of something crawling across his face. He jerks himself awake, his arm shooting up to slap at it, but landing on his pillow instead.

The thing crawls off him. He blinks a few times, letting his eyes adjust to the light coming in through the narrow opening in the bed hangings.

In the space above him and Gwen, something flutters.

“What…?” he mutters under his breath, and reaches to the side to pull back one of the curtains.

Gwen groans as the light hits her face, and rolls to her other side. Arthur stares at the small blue thing over his head. It’s a butterfly. As he looks at it, another one flies in through the curtains. And then another. And then another.

He swings his legs off the bed and gets to his feet. Pulls the bed hangings closed. Another butterfly, bigger than the others, hits him in the face. He swats it away with a splutter.

“Merlin?” he calls.

There’s no reply.

He walks to the chamber adjacent to the bedroom, and stops under the archway.

It is a swarm. Dozens and dozens of them. Perched on furniture, flying aimlessly about, in different sizes and shapes and colours, some of which Arthur has never seen — some of which, he’s fairly sure, do not even exist in nature. Blue butterflies, and green, and red, and orange, and silver and gold; butterflies with long billowing tails, like birds; with leaf-like wings, or large, fuzzy antennae.

He looks at a butterfly as it lands on his arm. It opens and closes its tremulous, half-transparent pink wings, starts to fade before his eyes, and vanishes.

Merlin, for some reason, is sprawled on the floor, close to the table. His head rests on a tasselled cushion he must have grabbed from a chair, and Ygraine is lying on his chest, anchored by one of his arms, her head half-tucked under his chin. She is asleep, moving with the gentle rise and fall of Merlin’s chest as he breathes with his mouth open, almost snoring, but not quite.

A puffed exhale from Merlin’s mouth disturbs the two butterflies perched on Ygraine’s curls. They fly off, their bright-green wings gleaming in the late morning sunlight. As they twirl around each other, they are joined by a third.

It has red wings — red like the capes of Arthur’s knights. And if one were to squint, and look closely, they would see, when the light hits the wings just right, golden speckles shimmer in a pattern much like the shape of a dragon.

#since ao3 is still slow and laggy #“what an original title!” yes thank u i came up with it all by myself #merlin fanfiction #merwenthur #mergwenthur #don't tell me this wouldn't be the most spoiled baby in the universe #even by royal standards #THE SPOILEDEST.#also i think i accidentaly recreated that scene from tarzan #do you like descriptions of butterflies? you do??#oh boy. you're gonna love this #(unrebloggable bc i might have to edit stuff)#*

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ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral · 15 days

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It's time for today's Merlin au! This time featuring some Mergwenthur (mostly focused on Merthur today though, but I have some more prompts planned for Mergwenthur because I love their dynamic!) and Arthur's emotional trauma from growing up under Uther!

Also, the option that won the poll will be the post after this one!

I just want to say that this au idea is so random that I'm pretty sure it came to me in a fever dream, so bon appétit my friends! :D

In this au, set in season 5, a sorcerer working for Morgana sneaks into the castle and creates three dolls: one of Arthur, one of Gwen, and one of Merlin. We see in the show that puppets and dolls with a likeness to their target can be used in dark rituals, and that's what this sorcerer plans to do.

However, Camelot's guards manage to catch and apprehend the sorcerer (whose powers just mysteriously failed them when the guards attacked, and no one sees Merlin loitering in the servants' hallway nearby) before the sorcerer could bind the doll of Arthur to the king. So, the small dolls of Gwen and Merlin are bound to them, but Arthur's isn't.

After the sorcerer has been locked up, Arthur discovers the dolls in the sorcerer's belongings and has Gaius take a look at them. Gaius tells him that they can go ahead and destroy the doll of Arthur since it isn't bound to anyone, but they'll need to wait to destroy Gwen and Merlin's dolls, since they had already been bound with magic and now any damage done to the dolls would be done to either of them.

Arthur is, rightfully, horrified by this and, as gently as he could, placed the two dolls in a secret compartment hidden in a wall of his room. He locks the two dolls away, feeling relief that no magical harm could come to the two most important people in his life.

Meanwhile, Gaius tells Merlin and Gwen about the dolls and their temporary solution to lock them away. Merlin's kicking himself for not being able to stop the sorcerer sooner, but he soon gets to work helping Gaius look for a spell to break the bond between them and the dolls.

However, as the days go on and no solution comes up, the whole doll situation falls on the backburner as more magical situations happen that demand Gaius and Merlin's immediate attention, leaving the whole doll mess to fall to the wayside. They'd find a solution eventually, they reasoned, and their temporary solution of locking them away had worked perfectly so far, so they should focus on the more pressing matters at hand.

However, Arthur couldn't seem to quite get the dolls out of his head. The cursed objects that could take away the two most important people in his life were just sitting there! Arthur's fears about the dolls ran wild, so Arthur asked Gaius for information on those types of dolls. After all, they could more easily take precautions around the dolls if they knew more about them.

Gaius directs Arthur to a certain book in Geoffrey's library that he knew had several chapters dedicated to the magic dolls and their potential uses. Arthur thanked Gaius and, that night, dedicated himself to reading all about the dolls so he could better protect his loved ones.

Most of what Arthur read disgusted and terrified him, reading about horrifying methods of torture and execution using the dolls, which would transfer every sensation and emotion directed at them onto the person they were bound to. Eventually though, Arthur came to a shorter chapter about the positive uses of the dolls. He read about druids who had taken vows of silence using the dolls to convey their affections for their loved ones, and even powerful sorcerers using similar dolls to comfort their far-away families.

As much as Arthur tried to shove that idea violently from his mind, it became fixed in his thoughts like a fly in a spiderweb. A way for someone else to feel the full depths of his love without having to use words?

Arthur, for all of his faults, knew himself. He knew that he was not the best at conveying his emotions. Words, no matter how long he thought over them, always felt like pale reflections of the enormity of his emotions, especially in regards to his love for Gwen and Merlin. With Gwen, he often stumbled over his words, unsure of how to express the depths of his love for her, even three years into marriage. With Merlin, on the other hand, any of his attempts at affection inevitably devolved into banter and friendly name-calling, never being able to truly tell Merlin how much he meant to Arthur.

Could these dolls be the solution? Could he somehow use them to convey his feelings for his beloved Gwen and Merlin? Arthur found his eyes frequently drifting towards the secret compartment where he knew the dolls lay. Could he...

Eventually, the temptation became so strong that Arthur couldn't resist anymore. Surely, if he was gentle and careful, then everything would be fine, right? Either Merlin and Gwen would be able to feel Arthur love through the little dolls, or nothing would happen and Arthur would go about his day only slightly disappointed.

With his mind made up, Arthur checked the lock on his chamber's door to ensure that he would be alone, and made his way over to the secret compartment in his wall, unlocking it. Sitting inside, exactly where he left them, were the dolls of Merlin and Gwen.

Arthur quickly darted over to his window, where had a clear view of Merlin talking with Gwaine in the courtyard. If anything happened to Merlin because of the doll, he would know right away, and he could reassure himself that this little experiment of his wasn't doing any harm.

They were both small, with his hand being able to cover the entirety of either doll with the exception of its head. As carefully as Arthur could, he pulled each doll out of the wall and set them down gently on his desk, making sure to cushion the back of their heads as he set them down.

It wasn't until Arthur saw staring down at the dolls did he realize that the book never specified exactly how emotions were transferred. Sensations were easy enough, but it never said how to convey emotions themselves.

Well, Arthur reasoned with himself, it couldn't be that difficult. He gently picked up the doll that resembled Merlin (it even had a little jacket and a red scarf on it and everything) and held it in front of him. Arthur took a few moments to contemplate his next move, before landing on an acceptable strategy.

Willfully ignoring the voice in his head (which sounded remarkably similar to his father) that was berating Arthur for seeking comfort from these dolls like a little girl, Arthur brought the Merlin doll close to his chest and held it there, trying his best to simulate a hug. There, that was a good start!

Moving back over to the window, Arthur was relieved to see Merlin unharmed and still speaking with Gwaine with a large smile on his face, not showing any signs of pain or discomfort.

Emboldened and relieved with the knowledge that he wasn't causing any harm, Arthur next had to figure out if he was really sending his feeling through the doll, or if this was just a huge waste of Arthur's time.

Keeping his eyes trained on Merlin, Arthur brought the doll up to his face and pressed a gentle kiss onto its forehead. To his amazement, right as he had kissed the doll, Merlin suddenly stopped speaking looked rather confused, touching a hand to his forehead, as if trying to check to see if anything was there, while a blush rose on his cheeks.

Arthur could feel a huge grin break out on his face. It had worked! Merlin had felt the affection he had shown to the doll!

Arthur, cuddling the Merlin doll: Get cherished idiot! Get absolutely adored!

Merlin, wondering why the hell he feels someone hugging him: Huh, that's weird.

Over the course of the next week, Arthur experimented with different ways to convey his emotions to Gwen and Merlin through the dolls. He found that holding the dolls close and speaking to them, spilling out all of the words that he was so clumsy with when he was with Gwen or Merlin, worked the most effectively. However, just holding, cuddling, or kissing the dolls had much of the same effect.

Arthur could even see the different it made with Gwen and Merlin! Even though Arthur was too embarrassed to tell them about how he had taken to trying to express his feelings through the dolls, he could tell that both of them were happier and more affectionate with him!

Oh, it was all working out perfectly! Arthur could finally honestly express his love to Merlin and Gwen to its fullest extent, and they were happier in return (even if they didn't quite know why)!

And it was all well and good, up until Merlin was injured. Not by the doll, thank god, because Arthur would never forgive himself if something like that happened. No, it was during a routine hunt through the darkling woods, which of course had to be ruined by bandits.

Arthur had thought nothing of it at first, as it was a smaller and untrained group, but horror gripped him near the end of the fight as he turned around to see Merlin, coming out of hiding and totally unaware of the bandit's crossbow aimed at him. Arthur tries shouting for Merlin to move out of the way, but he's too late. Between one heartbeat and the next, there's suddenly a crossbow bolt sticking out of Merlin's back.

Arthur makes quick work of the four bandits standing between him and Merlin, and frantically starts trying to treat and bandage the wound on Merlin's back. The wound is deep, Arthur's panicking, and Merlin's already passed out. Luckily, the knight quickly finished off the rest of the bandits, and they ride as swiftly as they could back to Camelot so Merlin could be treated by Gaius.

Luckily, they were able to get Merlin to Gaius before Merlin lost too much blood or the wound became infected, so Gaius was able to treat Merlin's wound and give him a good prognosis. However, much to everyone's concern, Merlin still hadn't woken up, and Gaius couldn't guarantee when Merlin would wake up or fully recover.

While Gwen stayed by Merlin's side all night, Arthur couldn't bear the sight of Merlin, looking still and broken on a patient's cot. Perhaps that made Arthur weak, but he couldn't ever bear to see his loved ones in pain, knowing that there was nothing he could do to help.

Or... perhaps... there was something he could do to help. Merlin likely couldn't hear what was going on around him, but if he could feel it instead...

Arthur took Merlin's doll from its secret compartment as gently as his desperation would allow. Arthur was pretty sure that there were tears running down his face, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that at the moment.

With trembling hands, Arthur carefully held the doll to his chest, right over his heart. Arthur tries everything he can, from kissing the doll to just speaking to it, telling the little scrap of cloth and magic all of the things he adores about Merlin and how he cannot cope with the thought of losing him.

Everyone is relieved the next day when Merlin wakes up, still weak from his injury, but recovering nonetheless. But man, Merlin had some weird dreams while he was unconscious. He dreamed Arthur was a giant and was hugging him! Merlin tried to play it off for laughs to lighten the mood when Arthur visited him, but Arthur didn't seem to find it nearly as funny as Merlin and Gwen did. Instead, Arthur turned slightly pale at Merlin's words.

After Arthur left, Merlin and Gwen turn to each other and discuss why they think Arthur had reacted like that. They both agree that Arthur had been acting differently lately, but if anything, it was an improvement. Arthur had been more open to both giving and receiving affection with them, and he had been more open with sharing his emotions lately, being overall less of a complete prat.

So, this sudden closed off response was rather suspicious to both of them. After some discussion, they agree to search for an explanation for Arthur's strange shift in behavior. After some snooping around and looking between the gaps on the door to he servant's entrance to Arthur chambers, Merlin and Gwen saw something truly shocking.

Arthur had been removing the dolls that were bound to them to their hiding spot! Did he know how dangerous that was for the both of them! What was he even planning on doing with them?!

Many of their questions were answered, however, when Arthur started pressing kisses to the top of both doll's heads, and both Gwen and Merlin could feel the sensation of the kiss touching their heads. Oh. So that's what the whole doll situation was about, and why both of them were having sudden and unexplainable sensations and bursts of positive emotion.

It made a shocking amount of sense, especially considering how frustrated they knew Arthur could get at his lack of skills in communicating his feelings. Merlin and Gwen turned to each other, and decided to not confront Arthur about this just yet. They could let Arthur have this, and he'd tell them when he was ready.

For now, Arthur would have his peace.

And that's a wrap for this au! Honestly, this au idea was so unique that I don't even know where it came from, but there's a lot of different ways this au could go! One of my favorite ideas is that any injury the person gets is also reflected on the doll, so after Merlin or Gwen goes missing, Arthur obsessively checks the dolls to see if they're unhurt.

Anyways, I've got the au idea that won the poll (an au idea featuring Arthur being an idiot) planned for tomorrow or the next day, so I hope to see you all again soon!

And, as always, thank you for reading though my ramblings! :D

#merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin au #merlin prompts #merthur #mergwen #arwen #mergwenthur

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dollopheadedmerlin · 3 months

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Pls pls pls I would love some fic recs with Merlin whump, especially if it's Merlin and Arthur or Merlin and Gwen traveling outside the city. I swear I run out of Merlin whump fics every other day. Preferably no shipping or light shipping (unless it's mergwenthur tbh, I'll eat that up)

I'm a sucker for Merlin having a headwound, poisoning, or something magical happening to him, especially if the person he is with is also struggling (ex; Arthur's broken his leg and Merlin has to support him but he's struggling bc of disorientation - Merlin is weak and keeps passing out but Gwen is also exhausted and cannot carry him so she has to drag him slowly, that kinda stuff mwah delicious).

Preferably Ao3 but I'll read wherever at this point lol

#mine #merlin

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xenioshelios · 5 months

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Quick sketches because im sick so i took a day off studying for my uni exams cjcjsjcjs I LOVE MERFOLKSS also i had to draw mergwenthur as that iconic bisexual reference and also some angsty immortal merlin getting lost in his memories while visiting a museum ayyy enjoyy

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knightofmordred · 10 months

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this has been said a million times but always needs to be said again.

the picnic scene where merlin talks about running away from camelot is a peak mergwenthur scene and i love it so much! but some fans need reminding that arthur is not 'on a date with gwen but talking about running away with merlin'

the reason why arthur mentioned merlin in the first place was because gwen said she couldn't see him doing any hard work.

it is always so interesting how fans conveniently 'forget' context when it comes to gwen/arwen, because did you also forget that in the same scene, arthur says gwen is someone who he can be his true self with?

like i said before, though, i love that scene and the idea of all three of them running away from camelot to live a simple life together. but stop fucking using it as a way to claim that arthur wasn't being present with gwen on their date.

#merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #gwen pendragon #bbc arwen #arwen #arthur x gwen #merthur #mergwenthur

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theroundbartable · 6 months

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You said to ask you about your takes about Merlin, and I always find it interesting to find out which angle people approach an ot3 of, so which edge of the triangle arthur/merlin/gwen was the first you shipped? Or was it the full ot3 right away? 👀

Ah, yes. When I started watching Merlin back in 2019, the very first thing I shipped was Merthur.

I usually don't start shipping right away, I start looking at the different dynamics and wait where it may take me. And the very first episode left all dynamics open. So, I wasn't an instant Merthur fan but I could tell that this was where I was heading.

Even though I wanted to ship Merlin x Gwen first because Gwen had a crush on Merlin and Merlin was oblivious and Arthur was an arse in season 1. I still knew I would end up a Merthur main.

Back in 2019 I was still working through a lot of stuff when it comes to relationships, sexuality, identity, trauma, etc, It sounds weird but what I needed at the time, was characters that I couldn't "be" and that also couldn't be attracted to me. The reason for that is too personal to post here but that's why I distanced myself from female characters in ships at the time. That's why I knew Mergwen wouldn't be where I'd end up. I didn't hate them, I just couldn't deal with certain things.

And then came the Elena episode in which Merlin tells Arthur that he will be a better king with a woman by his side whom he loves. I was already lowkey shipping Merthur by then, but THAT scene burned itself into my DNA and changed me forever. I LOVE that scene! If I ever had any doubts until then, they were gone the moment Merlin hands Arthur the sword and says: " I think you're mad."

I knew from the beginning that Merthur wouldn't end up canon, and that without looking at spoilers. The show is from 2012, I just knew. In fact, I was delighted with how FAR they took it despite that!

And I absolutely loved how the canon ship actually made sense. And Ioved how it was a learning curve for me too, to see them grow to make sense. In the beginning it felt a bit sudden but when I watched the show again, I realized just how many moments they actually had.

Plus, Gwen wasn't a mere love interest, she was a real character. Basically, she passed the bechdel test, lmao. I love that she's a blacksmith, that she had her own story arc, her own tragedies and losses, a full family that we SEE in the show, etc. And I loved her dynamic with Arthur growing from awkward to genuine. I always thought that relationshipwise, they were one of the best portrayals of lovebirds I've seen in a series in a long time. And BBC merlin is PG so that was a bonus. And they always had space for Arthur's friendship with Merlin. (This is very important to me, as an ace person who used to think they would lose their friends due to their relationships)

And well... years have passed and I slowly got over my trauma through writing fanfiction and some mild confrontation therapy. There was one fic especially, that paved the way for Mergwenthur. I think that one was Wired... (2021) in which time is a circle and Merlin lives long enough to see Arthur be born again. In that one I tried to be as close to canon as I could, while also writing a Merthur story. Originally, Arthur was meant to choose Merlin, but during the darkest hour, in which the story begins, he's already head over heels for Gwen. And the more I tried to grasp Arthur's feelings after the magic reveal, the less possible it was for me to not see Mergwenthur.

As Arthur starts realizing his fellings for Merlin, his feelings for Gwen don't change, because why would they? The feelings were different but they were both of love. And when I tried to characterize Gwen, I ended up thinking of their three person date in season 4(?) in which Arthur says:" Isn't it nice to be here? Just the two of us?" And it's GWEN who says: "you mean, the THREE of us. " When I thought of that, I just couldn't imagine that Gwen didn't already know and accept Arthur's feelings. And I couldn't imagine Merlin wanting Arthur to choose him over Gwen. While at the time, Mergwen wasn't really on my mind, I thought this was where the story was naturally progressing, so I let it.

I've always been a multishipper. But this dynamic is important to me. I've analized their relationship a couple of times and come to the conclusion that Gwen is the better Queen (some people like to call Merlin Arthur's queen). Because her relationship with Arthur is build on mutual goals and their future vision of Camelot. Their relationship is reasonable and healthy. I think their love is very soft but strong. While Merthur is just unhinged soul bond, ready to sacrifice everything for each other, including Camelot. Merlin would be a terrible Queen, like, seriously. Camelot would be destroyed the moment Arthur gets abducted once. Their love is intense and fickle in the sense that they can't live without the other. And Mergwen should have had more moments. Gwen was always the one person picking up that some things about Merlin were a bit odd, like the Lamia episode, or servant of two masters, etc.. I feel like Mergwen is a ship that's friendship first and can be both wholesome and completely mad, depending on which of the two indicates the action.

So, it was a bit of a curve for me. I ship them individually, I ship them together, apart, with other characters, everything. But the more I look into the show, the more sense Mergwenthur makes to me. Regardless of whether they are platonic or not, I can't unsee them. And why would I? they are fun.

Haha, this answer was very long, but I hope it answers your question :D

#bbc merlin #faq #answer #mergwenthur #shipping #ask

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tansyuduri · 2 days

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I just think my version of Mergwenthur would be really odd if I write it

Can I see Arthur with gwen? Sure Can I see Arthur with merlin? Sure

Can I see Merlin with gwen? No Can I see merlin and gwen both being totally cool with each other ALSO being in love with and being with Arthur? sure?

Can I see shenanigans where they team up on Arthur as besties or tease him? Yes! Could I see Merlin and Gwen acting as wing men for each other? sure?

My version wouldn't be a polycule.

MY version would be Arthur having two people he's in love with and no idea how this happened. He has a queen and a consort. And sometimes his queen and Consort team up against him and he just has to go with it because they both love him and each other, they just love each other in a different way. Merlin gets EVEN MORE OUTRAGED if he forgets Gwens aniversary while he doesnt really do anything but tease him if he misses theirs. Not because he loves him any less but because either Merlin can't remember theirs eather or he's not that into anniversaries, Arthur has never been able to figure out which.

Gwen insists on working with Arthur to arrange gifts or surprises for Merlin. And then tends to stand outside the room beaming as Merlin is touched every time. Arthur can never win an argument because the other two always agree, but he would not have it any other way.

#mergwenthur

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castelled-away · 5 months

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Arthur would be the type of guy when looking for Gwen in the castle who would not remember what kind of braid she wore today while Merlin would absolutely know AND he could even tell you if she put flowers in her hair

#this came out of nowhere when I noticed the different hair dos Gwen has in the show #which include: 1.) a very cute bun from which some strands always escape #and 2) a fish braid I think #oh oh and also 3) her queen hair that looks similar to aponytail #mergwenthur #merwenthur #bbc merlin #i need to make a list of all the hair dos Gwen has in the series #i love her so much. she’s a GODDESSE #also Arthur loves her okay. he just doesn’t have time for hair/the little details. but he loves her #minee

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many-gay-magpies · 1 month

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I was going to post the sequel to the “Merlin Gets Stabbed By Excalibur But Doesn’t Technically Die Because Of Stupid Immortality Rules, But Also Shit Still Gets Pretty Fucked” fic I wrote a while back, but then I realized I uh. Never actually posted THAT either. So, here’s that. Summary:

When Kilgarrah had bathed Excalibur in his fire, he’d said it would enable the blade to kill anything, mortal or magical, living or dead. Later, when Merlin was able to think more deeply on the prophecies and began to have some rather disturbing realizations about himself, he came to the conclusion that being stabbed by Excalibur would just kill him. Mortal or non-mortal, after all; that was the clause.

Apparently, that clause didn’t apply to Emrys. Merlin should have known.

Merlin wasn’t just immortal; he couldn’t die. The Balance wouldn’t let him. So the two had compromised: Merlin had, by the cut of Excalibur’s blade, been broken into millions of tiny pieces and scattered across the entirety of the globe.

—

OR: An exploration into what would happen if Merlin got stabbed by Excalibur.

And HERE is the plotless, Mergwenthur-polyamory-infused sequel I just posted.

Merlin loved them. He’d been reborn knowing it, the feeling as ingrained in his reconstruction as his DNA. He hadn’t known it before—but it had been there, he was sure, and when he broke, it lay in the ruins waiting for him, impossible to ignore. He loved them both, his king and his queen, far more than he should have, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop it. Not when they made him feel whole in a way little else seemed to accomplish.

#magpie writes #bbc merlin #merthur #mergwenthur #bbc merlin fic #merlin fanfic

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wordsinhaled · 19 days

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @landwriter <3 thank you, gloam!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

14! (yes, only 14)

What's your total Ao3 word count?

14,842

What fandoms do you write for?

so far, it's been the sandman, good omens, and merlin - though i don't have any published (or finished...) merlin fics. i also just finished dead boy detectives, which may result in a bit of fic - we'll see!

Top five fics by kudos:

just pull on your hair, just pull on your pout - shameless excuse to make dream & hob make out in the cold like teenagers, inspired by the cure & a beautiful fanart of professor hob by @pomegranateruin!

eternity is in us now - dreamling proposal fic <3

if the walls were too thin, you would break right in - this was the first dreamling fic i wrote! :D

while the little moments dream - the one where dream offers hob godhood at the end of the world. soft <3

we are the cosmos fleeing the night - i think this was my second dreamling ficlet? dreamling FWB but make it still romantic

Do you respond to comments?

i'll be honest, i'm pretty bad about responding to comments - NOT because i don't appreciate them! i love each comment i receive dearly and they all mean the world to me. but being less generally flustered and knowing what to say in response to comments is something i'm working on. <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe this one? all night or a hundred years is my take on the wine-sharing scene from season of mists. so you know, angst comes with the territory but that one hurts me particularly badly, so it probably fits the bill.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it's DEFINITELY this one, which has no name and which i should probably crosspost to Ao3 at some point, but it's basically dreamling being sappy and getting married. that's it, that's the plot

Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully i never have!

Do you write smut?

i write... smut-adjacent? i don't think i've ever written like, a pure PWP before or anything i would say rates as explicit. it's just something i've never tried and feel kind of intimidated by tbh, though i'm sure it would be fine if i ever do get around to it! if anyone wants to cheerlead me through my first smut fic i am game, lmao (is there ghost detective smut on my horizon???? IS THERE??? listen. it's not an impossibility is all i'm saying)

Craziest crossover:

i am not sure i've actually written a crossover, but i just finished dead boy detectives and i have many crossover thoughts! oh, also sandman/the old guard, of course. though that's not so much crazy as reasonable, i think

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't believe so, but i would be honored!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

never, but it sounds fun!

All time favourite ship?

well, i'm a multishipper, so this one's hard - i can list my OTPs per fandom... the sandman - dreamling, gaulcienne, hob/destruction (honestly hob/all the endless thanks to @softest-punk but i particularly love how you write hob/desire) doctor who - tenrose / doctor/rose & thoschei my beloveds (particular shoutout to twelve/missy, no one's doing it like them) bbc merlin - merthur, merwaine, mergwenthur dbda - obviously edwin/charles [and edwin&charles of course\ (whatever their ship name is I REFUSE TO CALL IT CHEDWIN... PLEASE... SAVE ME...). but i was absolutely also rooting for crystal/niko in addition to that...

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh my god i have so many. SO MANY. TOO MANY. i really want to finish the dreamling fealty fic one day because i literally have 2k+ words for it already sitting in my drafts, but i have no idea if i will. also it would be nice to finish ANY merlin WIP sometime this century. i am also debating if i want to start any dbda WIPs but they are... percolating still

What are your writing strengths?

i would say conveying atmosphere in a small number of words, if i had to say something!

What are your writing weaknesses?

FINISHING THINGS! god, and i'm terrible at turning fic ideas into actual writing. the ideas form faster than i can even write them down, but writing the ideas instead of having them play out cool music video-style in my head is SO HARD! also longfic is my kryptonite, i have no idea how authors do it!!!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i think it can work, but if it's in a language i understand i find myself focused on if the grammar is correct and such. russian usually... has not been (stevebucky fandom i'm looking at u)...

First fandom you wrote in?

harry potter ages and ages ago was my first fandom, but i don't recall if i ever had any actual proper finished fics that i posted anywhere, until sandman fandom. i wouldn't say i considered myself a "proper" fic writer until dreamling actually

Favourite fic you've written?

hard to say - i like them all for different reasons but i'm proud of the opposite of blindness !

tagging whoever wants to do it as i'm sure most of my mutuals have already done this! <3

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jrow · 6 months

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Fic Writing 20 Questions

Thanks for the tags @khorazir and @raina-at

How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

268,623

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock (BBC). I may try my hand at a Merlin fic in the next year, but we’ll see ...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Beautiful Pictures

A Week in November

Lines in the Sand

The Man with the Cartier Frames

That Time of Year

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love getting comments, so it’s the least I can do (even if it takes a few days). I love when authors respond to my comments, so it’s only fair.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Like many of the people answering these questions, I don’t write angsty endings. I considered it for Jam (I almost didn’t include the epilogue) but I love a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All my fics have happy endings. If I had to pick one as “happiest”, I’d say The Man With the Cartier Frames.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have not, luckily. I’ve had a weird comment or two where I’ve thought “why did you tell me that”, but nothing super negative.

9. Do you write smut?

Not really? I’ve written some mature scenes that allude to things, but don’t go into detail.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I have particular objections, but I doubt I ever will.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, Lines in the Sand has been translated into French and That Time of Year into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t. I don’t object to the concept, but I’m not sure I’d be a great collaborator given my current writing style. I think I’m better at betaing which gives me a way to work with other fic writers.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This is really tough. I feel like it’s okay if your “all time” favourite ship changes every five or ten years. I mean, I am a very different person at 40 than I was at 25. My favourite to write is definitely Johnlock—they have a great dynamic and are both really interesting characters in their own rights. So, they are definitely up there. The other ship that comes to mind in terms of those that have really stood the test of time for me is Goren/Eames from Law & Order:CI (a very small fandom). Goren has a lot of Sherlockian traits and Eames is just incredibly cool (and both actors are gorgeous, which doesn’t hurt!). I discovered Merlin in the last year or two and really like Merthur (honestly, I also really like Mergwenthur which I never thought would be my thing, but Gwen is so lovely), but it’s too early to tell if that will last long enough to be on my all time list!

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Corsi, my NHL Johnlock AU. I have a couple chapters written, but I started it a long time ago and my writing style has changed a fair bit since then. I think I’d want to go back and rewrite the first chapter, but that seems like a waste … so, instead, I will just leave it to languish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I write Parentlock really well. I have young kids, so it’s relatively easy for me to make kids read age appropriate (which they often don’t in stories, be they fic or published). I hope I am also able to convey that delicate balance that parents feel—namely adoring their kids with every once of your being while wanting to throttle them. Basically, I think I can write believable kids and believable parents.

I also think I am okay at creating cases, mainly because I become a bit obsessed with making the pieces fit. I like internal consistency!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can’t plot out a fic well enough that I can post anything before it’s done. Which means, that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to write a truly long fic (say longer than 50K words). To have the motivation to write something that long, I think I would need the dopamine hit from posting and getting feedback. But, I just can’t see me ever posting a fic before it’s completely written, because of how often I go back and revise as I write. Particularly for fics with any sort of case—I’ll have the loose parameters of the case set out, but the details won’t emerge until I write. Which may mean I have to go back and edit earlier content to make those details work (internal consistency!). Even things like John’s work schedule or the timing of a phone call or what time Rosie gets out of school may change a half dozen times as I write to make the other pieces work.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I think it’s fine, but it’s best if you have a half-decent knowledge of that language. The only language I would use is French, should that ever come up.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files (this also seems to be a common theme)

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Ugh. This is an impossible question. I really like Beneath the Surface—I love epistolary fics and I think I did pretty well with text exchanges in that one. I am also pretty proud of Jam. So, I suppose those would be my faves.

Hmmmm, I think I am late to the game here so anyone interested in doing this, consider yourself tagged!

#johnlock #fanfic #fic writing 20 questions #fic writing asks #20 questions

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