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sukunastoy · 1 year

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Shameful Attraction (CEO! Sukuna x Female Reader~NSFW~Part 2)

Pairings: CEO!Sukuna x fem!reader x fiance!Toji (Non-Curse AU)

Synopsis: You've been in a long-term relationship with Toji from high school, who is the love of your life. Well, sometimes he is... You turn a blind eye to all of the heartaches he seems to deliberately bring upon you and the relationship. Despite his actions, you've remained loyal and true. That is, until Sukuna, a CEO and your new boss, draws you into an affair.

CW/TW: This story has moments of mistreatment and abuse in it. There are references all throughout about this behavior—Hitting, name-calling, degradation, hiding bruises, domestic violence, sexual assault, being drugged/unaware, cheating, unfaithfulness etc. Also, reader is thin/underweight, unprotected sex, fingering, pet names (i.e., doll, pretty thing, little one, princess, etc.), praise kink. Mentions of depression and thoughts of suicide in later chapters.

Wordcount: 9.1k

(Previous, Part 1)

~Your sexy new boss tried to get you to go out with him, despite being aware that you were already in a relationship. Of course, a rich and influential man like himself could care less about such things. You're not entirely happy in your relationship, but you remain loyal to your fiancé, Toji. At least...you really try to be.~

Thursday, 11:33 AM

Sukuna had sat back down and explained more in depth of what you'd be doing for him in the office and it seemed very straight forward. It was all things you were used to. Usual personal assistant work. He said your office would be attached to his as well, and you couldn't imagine what it would look like to have an actual office of your own. You had an office at your last assistant job, but it felt like it was more the size of a closet.

At least you enjoyed Sukuna's company. Your last boss was dull and treated you like a lesser human being at times. You were, in his eyes, just a woman who was expected to do everything for him while batting your eyes and staying bubbly. He didn’t mistreat you, but you didn’t get valued like any of the men in the office did. Sukuna might have offered taking you out for a rather promiscuous night, but otherwise he spoke to you with respect.

Thursday, 2:14 PM

You were hoping Toji wasn't as angry by now, and that he'd talk to you on the phone since you had time alone in your hotel room. Sukuna brought you here after discussing anything important. Toji never mentioned for you to call him back, but you hated how he just hung up on you earlier; you didn't like it when he was upset. Over the last couple of hours, he never answered your calls or responded to your texts. It was getting disheartening after a while, and the longer he ignored you, the more your chest tightened in anxiety and worry. At least you didn't have to worry about any other interviews. There were a few other jobs that said they might give you an interview today but otherwise nothing was set beside the first one with Sukuna. It was nice to know you could relax, but you felt guilty to be staying out here overnight instead of just heading back home. Though you wouldn't deny that the small amount of time you had to yourself was relaxing. Sitting in the bath, enjoying the larger tub this hotel had to offer, you let your mind relax in the silence. It was just, peaceful. It had been so long since you spent a night away from home that you almost forgot how comforting it was.

Naturally, while you were trying to enjoy the solace of your hot bath, your phone rang, and the chime was Toji's. For a brief moment, you considered ignoring it, wanting to make him try several times like you had done earlier. But, that wasn't something you felt like dealing with right now. As soon as you answered, he let out an aggravated huff.

["What?"] "Hey, I just wanted to talk to you again. I'm really sorry for not communicating better that I was going to be away to-." ["Are you actually out there getting a job, or are you just trying to leave me?"] "Leave you? No, I wouldn't do that." ["Well, that's how all this starts, isn’t it? The lying, sneaking around."] "Toji, I swear, I'm just trying to get a better job." ["Maybe, but how do I know you're not also out there just staying away from me? I mean, this morning, you refused to talk to me."] "I tried to tell you! I was in an interview and-." ["Are you raising your voice to me?"] "N-No...I'm sorry..." ["Ya' know, when you get home, I'll need to teach you some manners. Cause you're getting out of line. Aren't you?"] "I…I don't mean to..." ["There's no reason for me to even take you out to dinner tomorrow night. Since you're clearly so disrespectful to me. I'd rather spend time with the guys."]

That painful click of his phone call ending abruptly left you trembling while staring down at the water.

Your grip tightened around your cell phone before you turned and threw it hard across the bathroom, hearing it clatter against the wall and back to the floor. "Asshole! Fucking asshole!”

Sobs left your quivering lips before you slowly embraced yourself, trying to ease the pain. You did so much for him, why was it never enough anymore? What were you doing that was so wrong all the time? Why couldn't you do anything right anymore? You just wanted his fucking love and it was more and more distant each day.

Toji had been promising to take you out to dinner for months, and suddenly he's not doing it anymore? You had waited so patiently and did everything for him. For the first time in a long time it was going to feel like the two of you would have an date night. But he was going to spend time with his guys instead?

Glancing to the floor and seeing that your phone had ended up back near the tub from it being thrown against the wall, you reached out to it, silently rejoicing that the screen hadn't shattered in your sudden outburst. Without giving yourself time to change your mind, you dialed a number as quickly as possible and closed your eyes.

Asshole.

Complete asshole.

If Toji was going to disregard your time and feelings to hang out with his guy buddies that you absolutely hated, then you were going to enjoy a night out of your own for once. You were already being punished, so not like it could get any worse.

"It was just so careless of me. So, I wanted to apologize again about your suit." You said apologetically into the phone. Sukuna clicked his tongue in return, and you could hear the grin overtaking his face. ["How about you make it up to me by accepting my offer of taking you out to dinner tonight then?"]

You gave a small, defeated laugh and put your hand over your face while groaning in thought. This is exactly how you were hoping this phone call would go, yet you suddenly felt regret to be doing this. "...Just as a professional outing, right?" ["Of course, doll, purely professional."] You could hear the smirk in his voice, and you felt flustered even while being alone in this hotel room. Perhaps you felt a little spiteful against Toji or even lonely. But how bad could it honestly be to accept Sukuna’s offer? It's not like you were going sleep with him. Knowing Toji would probably be at the club tonight, he wouldn't be bothering you through the evening. He got to go out all the time and enjoy his nights. Why couldn't you? Fuck it, this time, you accepted Sukuna's offer.

He told you he would pick you up around 5:30 PM to go to dinner, then go to a bar that he enjoyed as it wasn't deafening and obnoxious, and they had good drinks. And you could definitely use a good drink.

But it made you severely anxious, and as you sat in your hotel room, masking your bruised face with makeup, you contemplated so many times to just call back and cancel with him. You were being petty about Toji right now, and maybe you weren’t making a good decision.

Not to mention you only had professional clothing with you for interviews. So you couldn't even dress up that nicely. Just another similar outfit to the one you wore earlier. Not that you needed to look good, as this was professional. Needed to be only professional.

Thursday, 5:30 PM

Walking outside the hotel to where the pick-up area was, Sukuna was leaning against a car with his arms crossed while waiting for you. Another man stood in a nice suit at the end of the vehicle, but he kept his gaze off the side, not paying much attention, and his hands were behind his back patiently.

A driver? You weren't even surprised. And, Sukuna looked, gorgeous. He was so well groomed, and the dark suit he adorned fit him so well. Feeling your eyes start falling from his face to his chest, you quickly averted your gaze entirely to the ground, not wanting to stare like a deer in headlights. "Well, good evening, pretty thing." He grinned at you as you approached, and you bit your lip while looking up shyly. "I didn't bring much, so I hope I'm dressed enough?"

"You look perfect, doll." He gently took hold of your chin with his index finger and thumb, lifting your head, and your breath seized in your throat at his warm and firm touch. "Come on, don't be shy, and don't hide that pretty face by looking down."

Looking at his gorgeous face and into his alluring eyes as he gave you a comforting smile, you felt your heart flutter and your throat burn with the sudden urge to cry. This was an awful idea, you knew you shouldn't have agreed to this. No one made your heart flutter like this before, other than Toji.

Letting go of your face gently, he turned as your door was opened by the other man. Sukuna held your hand so you could sit comfortably in the seat, and you looked around for a moment nervously as he shut the door. This was an awful temptation you've allowed yourself to get into. You glanced to the front of the vehicle, but there was a non-see-through glass panel blocking whatever was up front, and the other windows were so dark as well. Obviously, no one would be able to see in. Seeing Sukuna get in next to you, you quickly looked down at the floorboard and held onto the hem of your skirt while blurting out the obvious. "You have your own driver?"

As he made himself comfortable and adjusted to face more towards you, he chuckled while resting his elbow on the window frame of the door that was now shut. His other arm went along the top of the seat behind your head, making you gulp at his closeness. "I have a lot of things, sweetheart."

Sitting patiently and quietly in your seat, too nervous to keep looking at him, something came to your thigh, making your entire body tense instantly. One of his large hands settled above your knee, and the brush of his thumb against your skin made you whimper internally. Such a firm hold, and it flushed warmth throughout your body, already weakening from the touch. The cool metal of his rings pushed into your skin a little more as he gave a gentle squeeze to your knee.

This was bad. Very, very bad. You should have told him to remove his hand, should have told him that it was inappropriate, and should have reminded him that you have a fiancé.

Maybe you should have gotten out of the car entirely and just called this whole thing off. That’s what a responsible and loyal woman would do.

But you didn't, couldn't. It felt, exhilarating. You wanted it there. The touch was so different from Tojis. So strong but it didn’t terrify you. It didn’t have malicious purpose.

"You alright, pretty thing?" Sukuna’s tone was so cocky yet full of concern simultaneously, causing you to look at him with dove eyes before you nodded with a smile.

"Never been better."

For dinner, he took you to a restaurant called Shunbou, and you already felt odd getting out of a vehicle with someone else opening the door for you. And then highly out of place when you walked into the restaurant with Sukuna. Everyone there gleamed with wealth and success in their life, and you felt like a lowly peasant in their presence who would be frowned upon if they knew just how broke and pathetic your life really was. Seeing your nervousness, Sukuna lightly placed a hand around your waist, his fingertips gently guiding you alongside him, keeping you close so you could feel welcome and wanted here with him. Your eyes darted up to his, revealing anxiousness and comfort all at the same time. "Just relax." He whispered while leaning down to speak into your ear, his large palm settling onto you more as you both reached the table. It was in a more reserved section in the back, offering a quiet and private setting.

It was almost difficult to sit across from him like this, feeling him looking right at you despite the waiter talking and setting down a few complimentary items on the table. You felt rude, but you couldn't bring yourself to look up at him, afraid you’d melt from nervousness if your eyes met.

The menu was just as threatening as you looked over it, not knowing meals could even cost this much. How were you supposed to choose something when the prices for a single dish were more than you'd spend on a whole week's worth of food?

Seeing you struggle with picking something, knowing you were bent over the prices, Sukuna asked the server what he would recommend. He said the grilled Hida Beef sukiyaki, cooked via hotpot at the table, was a favorite among many other patrons. Sukuna gestured if that would be something you'd like, and you hesitantly nodded, keeping your head down. It almost felt like you were stealing. It was several thousand yen just for a single dish?

Your date picked something more expensive to not make you feel like you were costing more than him, and he also requested one of their top Rosé Champagnes, which was almost a couple hundred thousand yen.

"Sukuna, you didn't have to take me to someplace like this; I'd be fine just eating some street food, honestly." You meekly laughed, holding your arms while feeling so out of place and undeserving of anything he offered. This was just your boss, he didn’t need to be so nice.

He chuckled humorously while placing his elbow on the table and his chin atop his knuckles, watching you with curiosity. "Look, I’m not in the interest of boasting to you, but this costs nothing to me, just enjoy yourself. A simple gift from your boss."

"Well, I really appreciate it." you smiled meekly at him, and he grinned in mirth. "Of course, doll."

The meal was incredibly delicious, and just like before, you did your best to eat with reserve, even though that nagging hunger in your stomach was hard to fill. You definitely enjoyed the champagne as well; it tasting better than anything you've had before. He made casual conversation with you throughout the meal, and it was so relaxing. Toji wasn't going to do this for you, so why not let someone else do it then? Not like you were doing anything adulterous. Right? He was your boss treating you to a professional outing. Casually talking about work here and there. Harmless.

Not letting you know the bill amount, Sukuna paid it and took your hand to help you up, his other hand returning to that gentle position on your waist to comfortably guide you alongside him through the restaurant again.

The second place he took you was Maduro's, the cozy bar and lounge he mentioned earlier. He offered to buy whatever, and you took advantage of that. Anything to help get you a bit wasted. Take a break from the stress you've been dealing with at home, and maybe get drunk enough to convince yourself that you're not doing anything inappropriate right now. Just out drinking.

With your new boss. Your ridiculously hot new boss.

Occasionally you checked your phone, and each time you saw no message from Toji, there was simultaneous anger and sadness in your heart. Was he seriously going to let this day end without saying anything? His last communication was just going to be him hanging up on you? For the second time today?

"Waiting for something?" Sukuna inquired while setting his now empty glass near the edge of the table to signal needing a refill. Glancing up from your phone quickly, you felt ashamed like you were ignoring him.

"No. I'm sorry." You mumbled while stuffing your phone down into your bag. "If he hasn't messaged you by now, I doubt he will." "He's probably just busy. Or asleep." Though you knew that was a lie, a hopeful laugh fell from your lips. He was most likely out having fun or had his guy friends over, making a mess as usual. But he was deliberately not talking just to upset you. It hurt your feelings so much, and Toji knew it. He seemed to do it on purpose. Even though you were out with some other man, you couldn’t keep your mind off of Toji.

Seeing the waitress walk over from the corner of your eye made it hard to hide the brief yet envious expression on your face. She was so filled out and healthy looking, obviously comfortable in her body, and you felt jealous of it. Stealing a glance at Sukuna, you watched him in awe as he barely even acknowledged her despite her apparent flirtatious attitude with him.

Why was that so attractive? And why did you even need to worry about something like that? He was allowed to look at someone if he wanted to, yet you watched him as if seeing what he would do when presented with such an opportunity. Maybe it hurt because you knew Toji would still have watched the waitress even after she walked away.

"Well, before you drink too much, let me ask. Do you want to come back to my place after this?" Sukuna said so casually while bringing the glass of liquor to his lips, only pausing a moment to speak again. "I guarantee my bed is more comfortable than the hotel's."

"Like, sleep there instead of the hotel? I wouldn't want to impose on you and-"

His humored laugh at your innocence halted your words, and you shook your head slightly in misunderstanding. "Why are you mentioning how comfortable your bed is, then?"

"Sorry. I'll be blunt, do you want to get laid tonight?"

You nearly choked on your drink when he spoke, and your heartbeat started to pound so hard you could hear it in your ears. "What? Sir! That is not professional at all!" You laughed jokingly while pushing his arm playfully. He chuckled at your flustered response with a slight shrug before drinking again. Clearly not joking in his interest. "I'm being serious." Your nervous laugh died briefly, and you turned your head to the side with a weak smile. "Come on...you can't be serious...Me? Why would you want to do anything like that with someone like me? I'm in a relationship anyway.” You mumbled out the end while downing one of your drinks quickly. "I don’t care about that." He said while taking hold of your chin and turning your face back to his. The demanding grip made you gasp, and you felt so embarrassed when a flicker of excitement raced through you at his actions. "Let yourself have a good time for once. Seems like it’s been a while for you." His arrogant laugh had your thighs clenched together so tightly, and his smirk was so confident as if he knew you'd be unable to decline his advances.

"I, Sukuna, I really shouldn't."

"Shouldn't, or don't want to?" "Am I required to?"

You stared at him in a bit of worry as he finally released your chin and pulled out his wallet, preparing to pay the tab.

“Do you want it to be a requirement? Would that be more exciting for you?”

He replied casually, but for some reason, it seemed like it would be easier if it was a form of payment. At least that way, it would seem justifiable.

"I wouldn't think less of you or treat you differently if you don't want to. But, I think you do want this..." He grinned while standing and leaning closer to your ear, whispering the last part so enticingly. "And I'd fuck you better than he ever could."

As Sukuna helped you back into the car, you let out a heavy exhale, alone in the vehicle for a moment. You can't. You definitely can't.

You shouldn't.

This had already gone too far. Letting him touch your thigh and chin like he's been doing was crossing boundaries. Talking to you inappropriately was not something a woman in a relationship should be okay with.

But.

How you felt when he did so was satisfying and even comforting. You've never been touched by anyone except Toji, and at first, you were terrified of it ever happening, but now that it has, you wanted more of it. When Sukuna got in next to you, your eyes dropped to the floorboard again, fingers returning to hold the hem of your skirt nervously. You wanted to accept. But, how did this even work? You’ve never had a hookup or gone out with different people. Toji was your first hug, kiss, everything. Glancing at the ring on your finger, sorrow and bitterness filled your heart again. He’s also caused you so much heartache despite you doing everything for him.

“Want to be dropped off at your hotel, then?” Sukuna asked as you twirled the ring on your finger.

Fuck it. You wanted this. You could feel your mind finally starting to fade with the liquor you'd been downing all night; it was the perfect excuse for yourself. You desperately needed attention like this, and blaming alcohol was more manageable than admitting you wanted to be fucked by this guy you had just met.

You slipped your ring off while looking up to him with longing eyes.

“No, sir. You’re right. It’s been too long since I had a good time.”

Friday, 1:07 AM

Sukuna led you inside his apartment off the elevator while firmly holding your hand to ensure you wouldn't fall over from your half-drunken state, and you laughed while your hand lazily returned his grip. As soon as the doors closed, you pushed yourself against his chest, dropping your purse and heels that you were holding carelessly to the floor while reaching a hand up his shoulder. Your tip toes lifted you higher so your lips could connect with his. If you didn't have some alcohol in your system right now, you knew the confidence for your actions wouldn't exist, and you desperately wanted this, needed this. No other man had ever shown this type of interest, and you were afraid to let this opportunity go to waste.

Surprised for only a moment, Sukuna let out a deep laugh, a smirk stretching his lips as he returned your kiss, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth.

Your fingers desperately tangled into the loose fabric of his shirt on his upper arms, and your eyes closed as you enjoyed the taste of his tongue against yours, the scent of his expensive cologne finding its way into your nose only to seduce you more.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, he lifted you up from the ground, and your legs went around his hips to hold on while still keeping your lips together with his.

Your arms draped around his neck, one hand gripping onto the back of his shirt and the other running through his pale pink hair, rustling it from its tamed back style quickly.

“You’re fine with this?” He asked quietly, one of his hands gripping your ass.

"Sukuna, please, I need this." you whined softly as he pushed your back against a wall, pressing his firm chest into yours to hold you in place as his lips traveled down your neck, planting kisses along the area where your elevated heartbeat was thrumming through.

The back of your head leaned against the wall, small pants of anticipation and euphoria leaving your mouth as his kisses continued to litter your skin, bringing those burning feelings of being desired into your chest you hadn't felt in so many years. "Shall we?" His low and gruff voice came through the kisses along your neck, and you nodded quickly, whimpering at the thought of him touching you in a way no other man has besides Toji.

He carried you into his dimly lit room and gently laid you to your back on his massive bed, now leaning over you with his arms on either side of your face, caging you beneath him as he claimed your lips again roughly, and you moaned into his mouth with the feeling of passion you've longed for. There weren't any other sounds except the repetitive wet connection of lips and exciting pants exhaling through both of your noses.

You've never enjoyed kissing so much in your life, wishing it would go on forever. His lips were so warm and soft, enveloping yours so easily, and his intoxicating scent of being so close was driving you mad. He rolled his hips down into yours, and you shuddered deeply in elation, his ever-present erection pushing through his pants.

Feeling the dampness increase between your thighs, you gasped in embarrassment at Sukuna's hand suddenly reaching up under your skirt, taking hold of your thong, his fingers quickly curling around the edges of the wet lacy cloth, tugging on them as if they were in the way of what he was after.

Wait.

This was just some random man trying to get between your legs.

You didn’t even know him, and he’s going to force you to do this.

Panic suddenly raced into your chest, feeling such an intimate and foreign touch as this. His body above yours felt like a trap you couldn't escape from, and your breath seized in your throat at his confident actions.

"W-wait..!" Your small yelp made his head lean to look down at you in concern as he let out a slightly frustrated grunt. His hand emerged underneath your skirt, placing itself alongside you like before. A heavy breath fell from his lips as he composed his arousal. "Do you not want to continue? I can stop if you need me to." There was brief annoyance in his voice, yet at the same time, concern was heavily laced within it.

Shit. No, you weren’t allowed to say no. Toji would hold you down if you denied him. "N-no, I'm sorry, you don't have to stop.” you surrendered quickly through shame. You tried to look away, but he caught your jaw in one of his large hands, pulling your attention back to him. Your eyes searched his with desperation, afraid you’ve only pissed him off. Guys were allowed to take what they wanted. Toji reminded you constantly. "I asked you needed me to, pretty thing.” "What if I want you to stop while we're in the middle of it?”

You mumbled quietly, worried you would change your mind once it got more serious. "Then, you tell me to stop." He said while taking hold of your hand and kissing your fingers softly. His eyes looked into yours with promise and you whimpered at how safe he suddenly made you feel.

You nodded to him and he grinned while kissing your lips abruptly again, and you moaned eagerly into his mouth, unable to keep your excitement at bay no matter how much guilt you felt. "But I promise you won't want me to stop once I start." He growled seductively into your ear, his warm and velvety voice making you shudder and whimper for him.

You felt safe to be underneath a man in his bed for the first time in years. Safer with someone who was still practically a stranger than your fiancé of 7 years.

His hand returned to where it was underneath your skirt, fingers pulling your lacy thong down your excited thighs passed your knees, and his palm caressed over your skin, stroking it gently, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. Leaning your head back into the blankets while he kissed your neck, sucking on sensitive areas, you let out soft, yearning moans, his large hand coming up your thigh further to grip your ass, giving it a tight squeeze.

A guy like him most certainly had a fair share of partners by now, judging by the way some of the women looked at him in the bar as if they had possibly known him. Their eyes almost jealous that he was seated at a table with you in the back, enjoying each others' company as you both chatted, sharing a laugh on occasion. You could feel their jealousy and ever-judging eyes as if you weren't something valuable enough to earn his attention like they had previously been. His complete, undivided attention. Those darkened eyes never strayed from you, as if you were the only one of interest in the whole bar, as if looking away for even a mere second would cause him to miss out on something important about you. Now the way he was touching your body and making you feel like a sacred entity ignited the feelings you knew you had been missing out on for years. Not that you were hoping for love with Sukuna, and you doubted that those feelings were something he would want to return to you, which was fine. But this man had shown you more respect and attentiveness in a single day than your entire relationship with Toji.

Leaning up from you and resting on his knees, Sukuna undid a few of the upper buttons on his shirt. He then grabbed onto the bottom of it, slowly lifting the fabric over his head. Your eyes trailed along every dip and rise of his muscles, some areas more highlighted than others from the city's lights outside the large windows. "Holy shit..." You swallowed tightly while sitting up and hesitantly reaching forward, allowing your fingers to trail along the dark lines that painted his skin from his chest down to his abs. He was downright gorgeous, crafted so perfectly. The tattoos on his skin made you shudder in excitement and curiosity, wondering why someone so professional would put such features on his body. As far as you knew, tattoos were common in those who committed violence and illegal activities. Most places banned them. But, at the same time, he kept them hidden well and seemed far from any gang member. Tossing his shirt to the side, Sukuna hummed in satisfaction at your touches, his hands coming forward to undo the buttons keeping your blouse together, but you gasped and your small fingers pushed against his with haste.

Before he could speak, you dropped your head in shame, afraid to expose your body to someone like this. Not from the shame of it being a man other than your fiancé but the guilt of how your body looked. In your eyes, it wasn't good enough... Especially for someone as gorgeous as him. "I'm sorry, I-.”

"Why are you apologizing?" He chuckled while removing his hands from your blouse. "You don't have to feel scared to tell me 'no.'"

Quickly nodding, you bit your lip before looking up at him. "It's just, my body. I don't find it flattering, and I'm worried that if you see-.”

His lips came to your mouth gently, immediately silencing you while now running his hands upward along your sides, allowing his fingers to glide underneath the fabric of your top. Your breath hitched at his delicate touch, and you swallowed roughly as he groaned pleasingly against your lips, his large hands embracing your frail body tenderly. As his thumbs smoothed over your prominent ribs, you whimpered in embarrassment again. What man would want such a thin and scrawny woman to hold on to?

"Is this what bothers you?" He whispered while moving his lips to your neck and gently rubbing his thumbs over the same area again. Your hesitant nod confirmed the answer, and you felt his lips stretch into a grin against your skin. "I wouldn't have invited you back over if I was worried about what you might look like under your clothes."

"But, I-.”

His hands returned to the buttons on your blouse, undoing them swiftly.

He tilted his head to the side, kissing your lips softly while delicately exposing your body from the fabric, his hands now crawling to your back to unhook your bra. Your fingers found the markings on his shoulders, holding them tightly as you felt your bra come off with ease, and his large hands now cupped your breasts, squeezing them gently. He kissed your jawline as if he was hungry for your skin, enjoying the taste you had to offer.

“You have a preference on condom brands?” He asked between kisses and you looked at him with uncertainty.

“It’s been so long since my fiancé wanted to use one. So, I’m not sure.”

“Well, I’ll just pick one then.” He chuckled while starting to pull away but you grabbed onto his wrist quickly. “No, you don’t have to. I take birth control.”

“It’s not always guaranteed, sweetheart. We don’t need to be making a kid.”

“I just, I want it to feel the best.” You almost begged, your eyes searching his. “I could always take the morning after pill if you want me to.” You might not be that experienced, but you knew it felt better without condoms. And you wanted to get as much out of this as possible.

He returned your gaze for a moment before clicking his tongue and shrugging. “Fuck it then. Been a while since I’ve gotten some raw.”

Taking hold of the front of his pants, you tugged on the buckle of his belt, just wanting him to continue.

"Needy little thing, aren't you?" He asked quietly, moving his hands to yours to help undo his belt and the front of his pants. As much as he just wanted to flip you over onto your knees with your ass up and face into the pillows, he couldn't find the ability to do so. Exploring your body was more enticing, letting his tension build with each of your tender touches to his skin. He enjoyed your soft sounds and small gasps, how your eyes gleamed as he fully undressed your body, and how your head would tilt back and expose your neck to allow his lips the honor of sucking on your skin in various places.

Parts of you were screaming to stop, begging you to be decent and leave what you were doing, knowing if Toji ever found out, he'd beat the hell out of you. You were cheating on your fiancé, willingly opening yourself to a man you had only met earlier this day, letting him discover parts of your body that were only for Toji to claim. As soon as his fingertips brushed over your lower lips, you choked back a gasp and did your best to let this happen without your morals getting in the way.

Pushing you down to your back, Sukuna kicked off the rest of his pants and placed an arm by your head again while suddenly pumping his fingers in and out of your neglected heat, stretching open your walls to be more willing and capable of taking his thick girth when it got to that moment. He captured your lips again as they parted for your fragile moans to escape, taking in each increasing vibration as he curled his fingers inside, expertly hitting all the sensitive spots to make you already start to come undone beneath him.

Feeling your walls start to tighten around his two fingers, a whine escaped your throat, ashamed to already reach this type of high you've never felt before. Your hips moved into his fingers more, and he worked his mouth down your body, kissing along your skin until his lips were just above your sensitive bundle of nerves. His hot breath fanned over your already puffy lips, and you clenched your jaw to try and silence any eager sounds from escaping.

Dragging his tongue in a long stripe up in-between your wet folds, you couldn't deny the shy moans from falling out of your lips as he ran the flattened wet muscle up to your embarrassingly wet clit, sucking on it gently.

“What are you doing, with your mouth?” You asked in a state of curious confusion.

“Never been eaten out before?”

You shook your head in embarrassment, realizing there was so much Toji hadn’t ever done for you in bed.

“Let me enjoy this fresh meal then.”

Removing his two fingers from your slicked-up hole, he quickly replaced the lost contact with his tongue, prodding it as deep as he could, forcing a surprised gasp out of your lips and your fingers to tangle into his hair. Smirking as your cunt leaked out around his mouth from your arousal, he lapped up any of the glossy fluids, consuming your taste as if it was a meal he had been denied for so long.

Your chest rose and fell rapidly as your breathing became shortened and more profound, your fingers tugging at his hair and your other hand clenching onto the sheets below. Pushing his fingers back inside while giving your clit undivided attention with his mouth again made your hips jerk upwards, and a cry of pleasure burst from your throat.

"Sukuna...I..!" Coaxing your sudden orgasm closer to you, he curled up his fingers to rub into that spongy spot of tightening flesh that would soon have you coming undone. "Come on, pretty thing. You can let it happen." He encouraged, knowing you were holding back, and suddenly added a third finger, thrusting them in and out of you quickly as your head pushed back into the pillows, back arching up as you felt that intense sensation, almost long forgotten, start to rapidly build in your lower tummy. Tears that were a mix of shame and exhilaration trailed from the corners of your eyes, hearing the squelching of your juices being smacked back against your skin as Sukuna's hand moved.

Once his mouth returned to your clit, he hummed in satisfaction to you becoming wholly taken over by pleasure, and the vibrations into the bundle of nerves sent you over the edge. Feeling your walls wrap tightly around his fingers, Sukuna thrusted them harder while kissing your inner thigh, pleasuring you further through your orgasm and you cried out loudly, your moans echoing through the otherwise quiet room as you held tightly onto his hair, riding out your intense high as if it was the first time you ever had one.

You couldn’t stop your hips from bucking up and nearly grinding into his mouth, trying to get every bit of pleasure that you could from this new feeling.

Fuck. You wanted to cry. Cry from the shame of how quickly you came to someone other than Toji. You didn't do these things, you were an excellent fiancé! Only cheaters and liars slept with other people like this.

Feeling tears start to form in your eyes, you released his hair and placed both hands over your face. The tender kisses to the inside of your thighs made you tremble and whimper as he slowed the movements of his fingers, becoming more of a gentle caress to the inside of your pulsing heat.

"My my..." he grinned in mirth when finally pulling his hand away, almost the entirety of it coated in your fluids of ecstasy.

Seeing you hide your face again behind your hands, he crawled up over your still-twitching body and gently kissed the back of your hands.

"Why are you hiding such a pretty face?" Your hands slowly moved down enough to uncover your eyes, and his gaze held onto yours, offering his charming smile. "Cause, I'm so ashamed. I'm cheating on my fiancé.”

That devilish grin came across his face before he leaned down and kissed you hungrily, the taste of your release still heavy on his lips. "Well, if he was a good fiancé, you wouldn't feel the need to be here in the first place, right? Just enjoy yourself." "I've just never had something so simple feel so amazing like that before.” You mumbled in admission.

"Well, let me show you how great you can and should feel. I'll make it feel like it's your first time."

The desire in his voice was exciting, and you quivered in expectancy as his hands traveled down to your still-trembling thighs, pulling one up over his waist. As he covered your body with more of his, your puffy lips parted with the head of his length, and you swallowed tightly as it teased your entrance.

"Oh my god, Sukuna, there's no way." You whispered in disbelief as his erect member displayed itself so large and proud before you. He was definitely bigger than Toji. And Toji hurt most of the time.

Your hand kept firm over your mouth, little whimpers slipping through your fingers as Sukuna slowly pushed the head of his cock into your opening.

"T-too big..." you whined and winced while closing one of your eyes, the pressure between your hips already feeling like it was too much.

"Yeah, it is a big fucking cock, isn't it? Shh shh, just relax, pretty thing, I'll go slow." His low voice fell over you as he whispered reassuring words, promising he'll take it slow. You swallowed hard while trying to relax. But you felt comfortable in his patience, and his gentle kisses to your teary face made warmth pass through your body. "You're doing so well. And, fuck, you feel so good." He growled more to himself than you, letting out a heavy breath as he kept his composure, resisting the urge to just start bucking into you relentlessly.

His other arm snaked its way around your back, pulling upwards to arch your body from the bed as he slowly continued to push into you, watching your face with amusement at all the varied expressions you were making.

"I'll fill you properly, pretty thing.” His eager breath fanned across your ear as he almost growled into it, your walls tightly protesting his intrusion. "A-ah...so much!” It felt like your breath was being shoved out from your lungs as you writhed in a mix of pain and pleasure, knowing you were being spread open farther than ever before but reveling in the feeling of every groove being filled. "Fuck...you're just swallowing me right up..." he groaned deeply, loving the feeling of your cunt engulfing his length so tightly and willingly. Your labored pants and whines only fueled his desire to fill you to the hilt and nearing the base of his cock you could feel your lower tummy being forced up from the lack of space he was giving you. A hand came to the slight swell in your belly, pushing back on it teasingly as your mouth was already letting out small incoherent words. You were babbling about his size and how stuffed you felt, feeling like you were in a daze, not even realizing there were places in you that could be reached. "Already getting dumb on my dick?" His voice jested, letting your walls find their moment of peace before he continued. You panted weakly and felt like you were going to pass out, almost ashamed you were able to take his size so eagerly. It stung a little, and the pressure was intense, but you wanted more of this, needed more of it. Fingertips pushing hard up into your back, Sukuna held you in place as he slowly began to thrust into you, struggling not to just let himself go at your beautiful sounds of painful satisfaction. You already seemed so fragile and broken; he didn't want to completely ruin you, at least not yet, anyway.

Your breaths were short and deep each time his cock came almost all the way out, only to be pushed back into you deeply, the ache in your cunt slowly starting to dissipate, making way for feelings of unimaginable pleasure that you didn't know were possible.

Sukuna lifted himself up so he could watch the small swell in your lower belly show itself each time he shoved himself into you, loving how he was stuffing you. A smirk stretched across his face, admiring how tightly your pussy was gripping him, your lips spread far apart and covered in your own slick, starting to leave a creamy white ring around the base of his cock. "Sukuna..." your soft voice murmured between moans, reaching a hand out to hold him, to feel him even more, wanting to feel some closer connection. "Yes, doll?" He exhaled in pleasure, taking hold of your searching hand and bringing your fingers to his lips, kissing them tenderly.

Biting your bottom lip and turning your head to the side, you fought off a wave of different emotions that tried to cloud your mind, just wanting to enjoy feeling amazing in bed for once. This was just for sex and enjoying the company of a man who could treat you properly, you couldn't confuse it with any type of interest beyond this.

You shouldn’t.

"I've never felt so good!” Your fingers tightened around his, starting to feel that burning heat swell in your core again, praising his actions at how he was making your body feel. He growled in elation at your words, starting to rut into your sopping heat relentlessly, the end of his cock just barely kissing at your cervix, and a scream of exhilaration left your lips.

Moaning like a wanton whore when Sukuna's mouth came to your right breast, he grinned in mirth against your skin, feeling your body tremble beneath him, knowing you wouldn't last long. You felt yourself rapidly approaching another orgasm as he sucked on your nipple hungrily.

Wait, again?

Could you?

You were lucky if Toji could even get you off once.

"Oh god, please!" you begged aloud, feeling your walls tighten again. You didn’t know you could come again so soon. Sukuna let out a wicked laugh as he moved a thumb to your clit, the pad hastily circling over the bundle of nerves to overstimulate you, enjoying your yelps and cries of unintelligible words, losing yourself so willingly.

"That’s it, cum all over this cock, fucking enjoy yourself.” His voice was so captivating, falling over you like honey. "S-Sukun~aa! Haa..y-yes, oh fuck, yes, p-please!" "Hmm...right there, sweetheart?" He growled proudly in his chest, snapping his hips repeatedly into that gummy area inside that was driving you wild and pushing you over the edge. "Y-yes! S'good!"

Your mind was spiraling out of control, and you placed your hands over your face to hide whatever uncontrollable expression you had. "Ah ah." He tutted while grabbing your wrists and pinning them next to your head against the sheets. Your body writhed through his hold, hips rolling up to meet his thrusts while your head lolled back from the overwhelming stimulation. The more your wrists tugged for freedom, the harder he gripped onto them, and the harder his hips rammed into yours.

"Oh my fucking god, I’m gonna c-!” Your lewd moans swiftly turned into screams, his name leaving your quivering lips repeatedly. He roughly fucked himself into your tightened, sopping cunt, groaning with satisfaction at your intense orgasm, loving how you looked while succumbing to him. Hands pulling away from his and gripping whatever they could find, your mouth hung open, eyes tightly shut with your brows pinched together, cheeks flushed deeply, leaning your head back into the bedding as far as it could go as your back arched higher from his grip, your legs shaking at the explosive pleasure bombarding you without restraint. He loved every bit of it and knew at that moment he wanted more, wanted to see this again, feeling more gratification from you than anyone else he ever had so far.

"Fuck. You look so fucking beautiful like that." his sultry voice coated you in rewarding praise, making you shudder and moan again as the aftershocks of your release still pulsed through your very being.

“And your tight little cunt feels so fucking good.” He growled, swallowing hard while staring down to you in what felt like approval.

Your arms suddenly reached up and around his neck, desperately pulling him down closer so you could kiss those warm lips, feel his strong, sweaty body against yours and revel in the moment of being so intimate with someone for once. It felt so pathetic, wanting him to be so close as if the two of you were lovers. But he entertained your needs, enveloping your lips with his, kissing you in a passionate way while pausing his movements for a brief moment, just focusing on your yearning for such romantic contact.

His arms came around you in such comfort, holding you close as your body trembled post-ecstasy. "So precious, aren't you?" He teased before rolling his hips into yours again.

Your face burned red, and you howled out helplessly, pushing your hands against his chest weakly as he started hammering into you without warning, driving you crazy as you still rode out your high. "I can't...please...oh my god...t-too much!

"Oh, I'm not done with you yet." sharp canines protruded from his wide grin as he pulled out of you, quickly flipping you onto your belly, making you yelp out unexpectedly as you now faced the windows. You desperately grasped the sheets beneath you as he jerked you up onto your knees, hips high in the air and his large hands pushing onto the small of your back.

He growled in lust before burying himself deep into your already exhausted cavern, and you howled out wildly through tears as he chased his own high, knowing he was about to be sated better than ever before.

Your mind was rolling as you felt like you would pass out if he carried on much longer. Ignoring your cries, he grabbed onto your hair while rutting into you hard and deep, pulling more incoherent babbling from your lips as he filled you more than you thought was possible, abusing your gummy walls that were already so sensitive and exhausted. Never before did you find it exciting to have your hair pulled on like this, but him owning your body made you clamp down harder around him. Your loud moans echoed through the room, sides heaving harshly as you struggled to take him this way, but fuck did it feel incredible.

"I want one more out of you.”

"I don’t think I can!" "You'll do as you're told and cum again because I'm your boss.”

Pulling back on your hair harder as he continued at an unrelenting pace, you screamed out in ecstasy towards the ceiling, blissful tears streaming down your blushing face as he demanded your release, and you loved it. He could be your boss at work and of your body. You would submit to both so eagerly.

"Yes, sir!" you rasped out, unable to resist another oncoming wave of pleasure. He pushed down on your back before you could stiffen, keeping you curved so he could fuck himself into you at the perfect angle as your desperate cunt gripped onto him again.

His pace faltered and his hands held onto you tightly as he came, pumping you full of thick spurts of cum.

A proud grin adorned his face, hearing the sounds he was causing. You reached an arm back, your fingertips pushing against his thigh as you panted heavily, nearly seeing stars at this point as you were already so fucked out from his thick cock.

"Damn..." Sukuna finally let out a deep and satisfied groan, his motions slowing down. He leaned over to gently kiss your lower back while slowly pulling himself out of you, dripping with your own fluids and his release. You whimpered weakly at the loss of inward contact as he grabbed onto your ass with both hands, spreading you open enough so he could look at the damage he caused. "Made quite the mess out of you." he chuckled, watching his release slowly leak out of your twitching hole, reddened and puffy lips covered in copious amounts of your own fluids and his.

Surprisingly, you felt a soft cloth come up between your thighs, and you were too tired to inquire about it aloud. Was he actually cleaning you up, though? That was a thing? You'd be lucky if Toji even offered a towel after he picked himself off your body.

Panting weakly and slumping down to your belly once he let you go, a deep sigh of satisfaction left your mouth. Sex had never felt that good before. Honestly, nothing has ever made you feel anything like that before. It wasn't just pleasure that coursed through your body; it was intense waves of emotions. Emotions you never felt before, even when you slept with Toji for the first time. This was a different type of crash rapidly approaching and felt terrifying.

Your heart raced and it hurt. It hurt so much. You couldn't hold it back. The tears. The pain.

Gripping the blankets tightly, you softly started to cry. Not the same tears from pleasure or excitement. They were sad and depressed ones. Why was this happening? Why were you feeling like this? This was embarrassing, and your soft cries turned to gasps and sobs.

You felt lonely, and it crept through your soul, spreading through your limbs and making you quiver in this emotional turmoil. What is it you needed? You were craving something, earning for relief. It hurt; it hurt everywhere.

You sat up from the blankets, feeling the tightness of panic start to gather in the back of your throat. Whatever this pain was, it was beginning to consume you, and it threatened to spiral out of your control until-.

Arms. Warm arms. Your body was pulled close into comfort, and you blinked tears away to see Sukuna's face as he looked at you in such a consoling way. He cupped your cheek gingerly as he wiped some of your tears with the pad of his thumb from under your eye. You felt so vulnerable and submissive in his hold, letting him move the two of you into a more comfortable lying position. "Well, aren't you just adorable?" he teased through a chuckle, and your body reacted on its own by sinking against his, grasping that comfort he was suddenly providing. That staticky pain of confusion and loneliness seemed to fade the more you stared up at him from how he held you against him. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm so emotional right now.” you admitted through shame. He shrugged slightly while continuing to hold you and planted a soft kiss on your forehead that made your body flutter in warmth.

Did he care about you?

No, you couldn't be feeling like this. It was just sex. Just sex with your boss, this meant nothing, absolutely nothing.

Don’t let it confuse you.

Your eyes swelled with tears as your cheek pressed down into his firm chest, minor hiccups coming out between little sobs, and Sukuna's faint laugh provided a moment of comfort again. "Poor little thing. Fucked you that good, didn't I?"

A weak little nod was all you could manage while clinging to him, clinging to the comfort and high you'd never felt before. His arms felt safe, like you could hide from any sadness inside them. "Can I stay like this to sleep?" You murmured softly, holding him almost desperately. Toji rarely held you afterward; even when he did, he never felt close like this. He looked at you curiously for a moment, almost bewildered by your actions. Any other woman would just turn away to get up and leave, and he'd not be interested after he got what he wanted. Usually he wanted them out before he went to sleep. Feeling your desperate hold on him, he smirked and pulled the blankets over the both of you before wrapping one arm around you, caressing your skin softly with his fingertips.

"...Sure, doll."

Feeling your warm body relax against him, he sighed quietly while looking up at the ceiling. It was odd, and he never let a woman stay in his apartment afterward, let alone against him in his bed. But your soft little sniffles kept him curious, never having a woman break down and cry this way before.

A little shiver traveled through your body, the heat radiating off his skin, comforting you deeply. "This is nice..." you mumbled quietly, unintentionally nuzzling your face up under his chin. "Oh yeah?" The vibrations in his chest and throat tickled your skin, and you sleepily smiled as the arm around you squeezed tighter. "Is...this normal..? For hookups?" You continued, your words fading out as your body slipped into rest. For him? Absolutely not, this was too intimate and personal for his comfort. However, he couldn't deny a slight interest in it. Not to mention feeling a touch of sympathy for you. Any woman in a relationship that he took to bed could care less about the fact that they had a partner already, and none of them wanted to cuddle like this afterward. But your hold was so hopeful, so needy. He could only assume this wasn't ordinary for you. Judging by the phone call he overheard earlier in the day, there wasn't much love and affection in your household.

"For you, it can be." he chuckled softly, planting another gentle kiss on your forehead, furthering your desire to be close to him like this. Whatever this was, you obviously needed it.

He closed his eyes, relaxing to sleep as well, finally realizing how sated he could feel with someone for once.

~Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and Reblogs are much appreciated!

Sukuna knew you weren't gonna deny it, and you knew it as well. No point in fighting it any longer; just let that beast of a man do what he wants and let your mind escape! But look at you, the anomaly who cuddled with him to sleep... <3

Masterlist (Link) Part 3 (Link)

#Sukuna x reader #Sukuna fluff #Sukuna smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #Sukuna

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bokettochild · 6 months

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I find myself in a conundrum

I've been working at a clothing store for over a year now. I was hired as part time but tend to work somewhat full time hours (roughly 35-40 hour weeks). I'm getting paid just short of $12 an hour and most of the work I do is very physical. There's a lot of folding clothes but I also work a lot with our shipment team.

When new stock arrives I count the boxes, wait for the manager to sign off on the delivery, and then it's my job to move all 200+ boxes from the delivery zone to the unpacking zone sorting them by department as I go. I then help to open the boxes either starting day of arrival or at 6 am the next day. I frequently help with moving large fixtures in the store, cleaning, and processing outgoing orders, as well as the standard upkeep of the store and working register. In short, I've picked up how to do anything that isn't a manager's duties.

But I'm barely saving anything for school.

My last job was for almost $11 an hour, and I would sit in a kid's jewelry store all day waiting for customers to come in. I still worked with reorganizing the store (often alone), processing incoming stock (receiving/unpacking/placing) and I still kept the store in order and cleaned, as well as piercing ears on weekends (It was a Claire's so yeah) and while the pay was a dollar shorter, I spent a good portion of my time at work writing fics because it was so darn slow! And I had manager approval to do that!

Thing is, they're hiring again at my old job, and offering $14 an hour to do the same job I used to do. Management has changed, so I don't know if it's as lax as when I worked there, and they're only looking for part time workers, but I'm technically part time now.

My issue is that I actually enjoy most of my work currently, and my coworkers and boss are all really great! The only issue is the pay, otherwise I wouldn't want to leave. But, I have bills to pay and keep having to dip into my college savings, so I really do need another job. The circumstances at Claire's weren't great, but we were also between managers and I hear it's really improved (from the current staff). It still has downsides, of course, but up-selling and piercing is less stress inducing then having to get credit cards every day in order to maintain standing (which I fail at). Talking down panicking kids is easier than de-escalating an Karen, and often involves the parent's help. It was generally a pretty chill job before, and I'm genuinely considering going back, as long as I can assure that I can get at least 30 hours a week. Besides that, I know they never open till 10 and they close by 7, so I wouldn't have any really early hours, I know how they operate, and I have previous experience so I might be able to land the job with ease (not that I didn't the first time).

I don't know!

On one hand, I have great co-workers and managers, I enjoy most of what I do and I'm assured plenty of hours on most weeks, so I'm averaging at least $1,000 a month. On the other hand, working the same number of hours at my old work place would bring me $1,200 instead, on average, and make things less tight (I could afford health insurance!). The issue is though that I won't be assured the great managers or co-workers I have, or a minimum of hours.

I think I might send in an application all the same though, get an interview, and see where things lay over there and what it would look like if I did, even if I didn't decide I wanted the job. It'd certainly be less physically intensive! Which is great because my knees keep giving out on me these days.

Honestly though, I hate uncertainties and having to change things, but this is a needed change. I need a new job, the only question is, is this really the best I could do?

#not lu #personal #rant #job search #job hunting

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dr4kenlvr · 2 years

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lights of his life (2)

pairings: mikey sano, mitsuya takashi, kazutora hanemiya, izana kurokawa, kakucho hitto x gn!reader

genre/wc: fluff (0.6k)

a/n: hi guys! im here to feed my father!tokrev enthusiasts, enjoy! kazutora's is inferred female reader, the rest are gender-neutral/not mentioned. also not proofread bc its 11 pm ill read it again tmre mornin ok ily guys gn <333

part 1 / part 2

MIKEY remembers when he, you, and your son went to get professional family photos taken. he had the liberty of choosing what outfits you three would wear—he insisted that you had to match in "one way or another." the fuss your son made at first was slightly embarassing, but it none of it mattered once mikey saw the gorgeous results of the photos. now framed sweetly in your home, mikey makes sure to glance at it every time he arrives home, and to wipe it down from dust and grime. him, the love of his life, and the one he created with you—altogether, forever.

MITSUYA remembers sewing his first outfit for his daughter: a pastel onesie adorned with her initials across the neckline. the first time he had slipped her little chubby arms into the sleeves, and her legs (that wouldn't quit kicking) into the pants, mitsuya felt immense waves of love and joy. it was an absolute perfect fit. feeling tears well up, mitsuya felt pride in being able to use his fashion skills to create something unique and special for his one and only child. also, the wide grin on her small face was nothing short of a blissful accomplishment for him. "it's perfect hm? that's right my love, your daddy knows best."

KAZUTORA remembers the first time he drove you and baby home from the hospital. exhausted, you went to bed almost immediately upon entering your shared house. kazutora, spent those next silent hours sitting in a wooden rocking chair beside the child's crib. never once did his eyes leave his son, never once did they falter, or shift. kazutora's entire life was sleeping soundly in front of him. he pokes a finger through the crib's railings, and—with the most feather-like touch—kazutora tears up at the feeling of his skin on his son's. it was all so overwhelming, and so real. "i love you. forever, i love you. papa will protect you."

IZANA remembers the first time he noticed his daughter—who was laying on her back in her crib—reach her little arms up and out for him. he was on the other side of the room at the time, occupying himself with late-minute papers, when he heard quiet coos and the crib's slight shake. immediately on alert, izana rushed over, only to see his baby making grabby hands towards him. he picked her up with ease, looking down at her with the softest look of adoration only izana's daughter (and you, of course) could witness. his baby smiles, cheeks puffing up at the sight of her father's big, violet eyes. izana chuckles breathlessly, and cradles her closer to his chest. "i'm here, that's right, papa's here. 'ain't going nowhere, i'll be here."

KAKUCHO remembers the still night when you had called him from work, letting him know that it would be keeping you busy for a while longer. kakucho—who understood completely, and didn't want to bombard you with even more tasks when you finally came home,—decided to take a bath for his son himself. he ensured the water's temperature was perfect, that the pajama's had been chosen and layed out, and that his son's soap was nearby. kakucho washed his baby's skin with languid motions, always being careful and gentle. he leaned down to place a kiss or two on his son's head. and not once, did he fuss or whine—but rather, his big, round eyes stared curiously at his father. "almost done, okay? daddy's gonna get you all warmed up after this."

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @kazuhoya@gwynsapphire@sscarchiyo@reiners-milkbiddies@smileyswifeyy (send me an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

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themarvelhorse · 4 months

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EftD Chapter 11 – The Devil in Canterlot High Part 1

I’d just like to say. What the fuck.

Also, this commentary in particular had me doublebacking a lot, so I’m doing it acknowledging that I know the Chapter's end. Also I’m remembering so many actual terms for the literary devices used but alas, I’ll leave the accuracy be for the time being. Also I decided to break this one up so it’s not the tumblr equivalent of 17 Word Doc pages in a row.

Sunset Shimmer shivered from head to toe and couldn’t hide it even if she tried. And she tried. If she could at all avoid her friends seeing her like this, she would. It came in spasmodic spurts, with only seconds of control in between, starting from her legs or arms and rocking up to her core. She took in shallow, longing-to-be-deep breaths to steady herself, but, as if to rebel against her, her body didn’t listen.

First off, great start really sets the mood for the rest of the time Sunset’s going to be here. Absolutely dead-on with how it goes. The start and end of this chapter is mirrored. It’s right there in the title card. The big twist, I just didn’t see it. Even more obvious since we haven’t been seeing Sunset without something filtering her true feelings and self! But now, right there with that paragraph and the end of that first sentence – her body is rebelling against her, it didn’t listen. It can’t listen because it’s under Sombra’s control. Or soon will be.

It made her love them for trying—seriously, on a level she’d only thought possible recently—

AH!

Time spent with her favourite boys - even in totally-not-really-therapy-wink-wink - is working!

“... and I guess, I dunno, I just want to help so bad…”

GOODEST OF BOYS

He’s good. I think we’ll finally have this solved.”

I initially read this as “He’s good at being a therapist”, but I also like seeing how it could be interpreted as “He’s just genuinely a good guy”, which he is!

Flash stared at her for a second, the reels rewinding in his head almost so viscerally she could hear the sputtered squeal, and then he smiled. “Oh. I got third. They stumped me on the word castling because I thought it had an e in there somewhere, but I was super proud I could be so brave. My dad took me out for ice cream afterwards.”

A cutie mark origin story if there was one for this Flash! And just another thing to note. Even though Sunset genuinely seems cold, it’s also symbolic of her fear.

Sometimes the Princess would even let her sit on the throne.

;~;

Flash took that as a permission slip to start monologuing aloud about tactical breathing: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Of course, the music nerd in him counted it out like a 2/4 time signature. He even performed a demonstration of what that might look like, breathing to a beat of his own making.

Ngl, a while back I started reading this chapter. Then some shit happened, and I had to drive alone for 2 hours. It was a very emotional drive, and my adrenaline had me much more awake than I needed, but my mind came back to this bit. Kept me calm and kept my driving safe. Thank you for this <3.

Sunset let him. She thought she’d managed this breathing thing pretty well on her own all these years, she didn’t need a How to Guide. While the shakes didn’t stop entirely, she managed to calm them down to a level she hoped wouldn’t be perceptible.

I’m glad Sunset did let him, instead of saying to his face that she didn’t need a how-to guide. They both sorta understand each other in this way. Flash literally just said he wants to help so bad, but Sunset also didn’t want to be perceived as not being okay. Much more didn’t want anyone to say it out loud. So, he’s helping by telling her how to breathe when you have nerves but not pointing out directly that she seems nervous. Saying things out loud just hits so much harder. Guess that’s part of the point of therapy!

The door hung open after her like the toothy maw of a basilisk salivating strands of venom and ready to devour a fresh victim whole.

Speaking of perception… she’s really not perceiving this as a good thing lol. Cold shaking, shaking in fear like a helpless little mouse. And an actual mouse. NOT a ‘Tiny Vermin’. There’s a reason that boss is up a level after the Bone Hydra.

And Sunset would have been happy to continue staring off into the middle-distance, unreachable, but then, Timber Spruce slapped his hands on his knees, got up from his chair, and said, “You know what? Why not? Let’s get magical. I’ve got a few things to say.”

Sunset looked up then to see Timber send her a tired smirk before disappearing.

Absolute shocker. And absolutely love the way Timber went about this. Sometimes you just gotta dive right into the deep end to get used to the water. And of course, seeing all your friends jump in and then come out fine and in a good mood and the like, and you’re all that more likely to cave to the pressure. Timber especially so since he likes to also feel part of the Rainbooms.

“Would you jump into the mouth of a basilisk if all your friends did?”

“Well, if they got out and the basilisk spit did wonders for their general complexion and confidence, then yeah I guess I would.”

What would he say about her in there? What were they talking about? Closing the portal won’t take long. Ray and Scruffles need me to bring them, I’d have to get them first. If I close the portal, is that it? Could anyone open it again? Would the connection be severed? Would the crack in the sky disappear? What happens here when it’s gone?

She’s still on that?! Not even her girlfriend could convince her otherwise?!

Sunset knew with a cold certainty from her lectures and studies on the Roots of Magic that there was always a source. An origin, a cause.

I do not like that this certainty in particular is cold. Especially not with all the other ‘cold’ things going on. Also, I bet the origin is that damn horse statue in front of City Hall!

…(similar to the human economy, Sunset Shimmer understood little to nothing of human geography—and now she likely never would) ...

As a human geographer who also happens to be human, I find this very humourous. I do NOT recommend searching what I mean, it’s a rabbit hole of confusion and questioning as to geography’s place in academia (but fuck almost all of those Ivy League Universities, you know what university DOES include Geography among one of its VERY FEW master’s and doctorate programs? THE UNITED NATIONS UNIVERSITY! Guess actually helping people across the world through an interdisciplinary approach towards natural disasters under a changing climate isn't top of mind for them. Yes I'm bitter.)

Also would be funny if Sunset pursued geography as a result of going to NR (which apparently was important to military officer training in WW2).

This also makes the idea of “significant places of sorcery and love” especially interesting to me as a human geographer. We look into the human relationship with space, which we end up calling “place’. We assign value to it when we have this relationship, including emotional value. But these places can have different identities and values depending on the who its relating to.

What goes into those places of sorcery and love? If we think back to the Perfect Pear in the pony episodes, that is an example of assigning emotional value to a place. A place of love, where sorcery emerged, where these powerful interactions of two lovers, forbidden to be with each other but still so committed to being there anyway that they develop a place that was unique to them. But is there any place we’ve seen that could be classified as such in the human realm? Nightfall Reach certainly seems old, perhaps old enough to be classified so. And with Friendship being a core tenet, maybe there’s something there.

There’s likely something around Canterlot High, and that statue. Clearly the statue itself is imbued with magic. But did anything with strong enough love or sorcery exist in that space before the school did? Did it have to? So many relationships made, broken, by so many students coming in and out of that place, connected to a mirror. What other value might have been assigned here, and by whom?

In a small, cold place, she almost found herself excited for them. You go, girls. You’re going to be amazing.

OOF

She didn’t so much as say a word to her girlfriend or Flash before Timber appeared in front of her, hand outstretched.

Damn, I can’t even imagine what Twilight must be thinking after all that. It’s even worse knowing the first conversation after this will be through Sombra.

Sunset flinched and looked to her girlfriend, who sat beside her and, at some point, had taken Sunset’s hand, maybe to steady it. The little circles she revolved with her thumb stopped short.

Awwwwww!

Well she didn’t really mention much of the shakes since around the time Twilight came out, save for when Timber went in.

Solstice emerged from the office and his eyes billowed a ghastly gas-like steam. The crackle of it startled Flash in particular who ripped out of his seat, but neither Twilight nor Timber reacted.

Okay so, a bit of a development! Totally not at all concerning. Also totally not concerning that Twi and Tim are not concerned. sweats

Solstice waited for her like the ferryman at the perilous banks of the River Styx, lantern and steady smile at the ready.

Mouth of Styx starts playing

Sunset walking into hell, to face Hades himself.

Heart walloping against the confines of her ribcage, Sunset had to admit comfortable sounded so nice. Trying to stabilize one of her clammy hands with its partner, she nodded, mumbling, “Yeah, okay. Sure.”

Wow, really missing Twi’s hand, huh?

That made him smile, teeth pale like a full-moon in the shadow of night. Combined with his still demonically slitted eyes, Sunset fought the thought that Solstice looked almost animalistic and focused instead on the gentleness of his voice. “You can zip up your jacket, my dear, I don’t want you to freeze.”

Aaaahhh! Very werewolf-like. Indeed. I can see it be an apt metaphor for Solstice and his condition. The style and grace of the Sombra persona feeling more like a vampire, but the challenge of having something deep inside of you changing and turning you into a monster is something all too familiar for Sunset. The human realm has its own myths and legends, but she likely experienced so many of those myths made real back in Equestria. And, having dressed up like one for Halloween partly being the reason for her perceiving him this way. Or maybe its more of a Jekyll and Hyde thing.

“Tcht. No, see, I’d be offended. It’s kind of my look, so...” She gestured down to her open leather jacket in open rebellion.

Sunset’s willing to freeze before changing her look? Rarity will be so proud. Or disappointed since she could probably make it still warm while being fashionable.

Still, it’s a nice touch – Sunset’s here in her first counselling appointment, where it’s supposed to be a safe space to let yourself be comfortable enough to be honest with yourself and your feelings and the like. Where you can take off that figurative armour, literal in the case of Sunset and her rebellious identity, also being rebellious to the idea of counselling.

“Oh! Yes, that has to be frightfully frigid.”

I don’t like the implied tone here. Yes, the weather inside is frightful, but the other side of Sombra is so very much ALSO frightful. Maybe though, the fire inside that Solstice sets for the students’ souls will be so delightful.

She drank him in in full. It helped her own nerves to see the big bad opponent she was up against wore loafers like he was late for church service, wore his button-down not quite tucked into his belted slacks, and smelled like a coffee shop if it also used a wood stove. “Huh. You actually can’t feel cold?”

The BIG BAD… Churchgoer? More like wolf in sheep’s clothing. With Solstice being like that, it must’ve done both Flash and Timber a lot of good. A safe haven in a cold cold blizzard who emanates the woodsy-ness the latter likes, but speaks so very kindly, as the former would appreciate.

“Heaven knows the central heating could use an upgrade with me around to challenge it, but well. Public school.”

Okay so they can afford the special sports stuff but not heating?! I well… yeah no, that tracks.

But Solstice caught that. “Really, are you sure about your jacket? I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold in my office, I’d never forgive myself.” Sunset’s eyes went for a spin. “Think I’ll find a way to survive your office.”

laughing nervously

Solstice paused long enough to stare at her jacket’s zipper, as if tempted to zip it up himself. If he had telepathy or the sheer force of will, all bets might have been off. With the steam still billowing off his demonic eyes, he looked much angrier about it than he probably actually was. Or maybe it really did vex him that much, Sunset couldn’t say.

Combining the concerned pseudo-parent and rebellious teenager is a recipe for a glorious disaster named Sombra as he feeds on the anger from feeling a lack of control (or what I thought was anger, but is actually fear for her well-being).

Either way, he moved toward the kettle and basket of cookies. “Alright, it’s your decision. But speaking of dire choices: Can I at least get you anything? A hot beverage to keep warm?

Nothing like a hot beverage! Although I think that there should be a better word to define hot beverages than just “hot beverage”. I’ve been trying to get “café drinks” going here and there, but in this day and age? That can mean anything.

Sunset doubted the school counsellor would readily give her access to the type of beverage she really wanted to get through this. Fire down the throat always kept her warm, in a manner of speaking (especially if it was Nectar of the Gods, Sunset’s favourite Equestrian liquor; she’d never forget sneaking her first taste from the pools of Mount Olympus while on diplomatic missions with the Princess. Good times). She shifted on the plump couch cushion. “Tea’s good, if you have any. Camelmile?”

Who wouldn't want some Nectar of the Gods? I'm sure there'll be some at the coronation.

Whenever Sunset had an upset stomach⁠—her codeword for nervousness or feeling upset, honestly⁠—as a filly, Princess Celestia brewed her excellent tea. Trottingham chai, Zebrafrican rooibos, even a nice Griffonstonian oolong after a long day. It got to the point the sound of the kettle boiling in the hearth was enough to ease any irritation.

Just like 'mom' used to make~

Nodding, Solstice smiled around his own shoulder, back at her, setting up the mugs, not unlike a bartender.

Ah yes, the bartender, discount therapist!

His little wooden stirring stick whisked the cup in an erratic fashion. “Warping the minds of the youth with their overpriced... cake coffee. Oh, it sounds delicious, but what you’ve really gone and done is ruined a perfectly good pot of coffee and convinced swarms of innocent teenagers they’ve bought themselves a luxury item!”

He grumbled more into his own mug as he sipped to avoid an overflow before realizing; he swallowed his mutterings down with his coffee. “I have… a lot of feelings about beverages. Wine especially. But I suppose the point was that it’s nice to know I’m not the only ex-career student here.”

Recently I’ve come to appreciate whisky. I enjoyed it before, sure, but now I understand that among the connoisseurs, the best whisky is the one you like, and that includes whiskey ;)

But that does bring me to another observation – Sunset mentioned alcohol in her head before Solstice said it out loud. Foreshadowing about getting in her head? Or is it another point about how much they actually have in common?

It’s wild seeing how much coffee has really taken off though. I see a lot of similarities between wine and coffee connoisseurs. The sheer difference in variety of tastes based on where it’s grown and the conditions that gave rise to it – it’s terroir - and how it’s processed or even what you add to it in each minuscule amount.

Each student technically is a product of their own terroir. Even though the students are all different, they’re also similar in so many ways – that’s why they can empathize with each other despite those different experiences. But of course, with a unique terroir, it’ll get harder and harder to have an accurate read on knowing how someone else is feeling. As a geographer once said, "everything is related to everything else, but near things are more related than distant things." People who grew up in one place have much more in common than someone from a different place depending on what's available to them: the culture there, foods available, cost of things in the community, etc. But the processing of the coffee bean or the wine changes that too! As it goes through its life cycle, it started out somewhere, like all its neighbours, but slowly changed along the way as new experiences shaped it, and shaped the person.

And that’s why its important for someone like Solstice to be there. He talks to them and gets into the finer notes and details of people, even with the added sugar. His comment about cake coffee makes me believe he dislikes it because he dislikes how the uniqueness of each cup getting drowned out and taken away by fads among teens, making it harder for them to be open and honest with each other if all they're concerned with is the fad. Cause if you're not open and honest, how can you have an open and honest relationship with one another? With Sunset’s “look”, she’s dressed up like a mocha and refuses to let him or anyone else really know the core of what’s there. All that sugar added drowns out what makes everyone unique and beautiful in their own way. Unless you're a coffee connoisseur among coffee connoisseurs.

That and he's worried about them being manipulated.

“That’s true. I apologize. I don’t know. Call it an educated guess, then,” he told her, carrying over her mug. “Maturity is usually hard-won, much like degrees and education. Or forgiveness.” Solstice offered a smile as he gave her the drink. “Your friends speak very highly of you, Sunset. Your story is something of a legend around here. You are.”

Well at least Sunset has the forgiveness thing under her belt. The former she could get no problem! Just gotta figure out what that will be.

“…I don’t do well with heights, not a fan.”

I anticipate foreshadowing here.

Would it be dramatic to say I’ve got a fear phobia? Sunset thought. “I’ve got a fear phobia. Only thing I fear is fear itself, you know? So if you’re wondering about your eyes, it’s cool, don’t worry about it. I’m not afraid of you.”

Sombra likes to be dramatic and uses fear as his primary weapon. If he’s not fear itself, then I don’t know what is for ya, Sunny.

“I’ll do my best to help you achieve that, then.” Solstice handed her a waiver of some sort, complete with clipboard and pen. “Everything you say here is completely confidential. The only exceptions to that are if I’m required to disclose case-relevant details in a court of law, or, and this is important, if you pose an immediate danger to yourself or others. At which point, I would contact the proper authorities for safety reasons.”

…

The authorities? Celestia, Flash’s dad would kill me if he knew I planned to leave Flash behind again. If Chief Magnus murders me, Flash might find out I’m leaving and try to stop me. “No.”

Including this part so specifically, leads me to believe the reason is twofold:

1. Our most glorious author, Marvel Prime, is presenting the reader with an accurate portrayal of the processes of going to therapy, based on her own knowledge and experience. This in turn, is also useful to anyone reading this in terms of knowing what to expect if they go in.

2. Foreshadowing. The callback back to good ol Detective Daddy-o, Flash Magnus, who probably has a case on her, and just needs a little bit more to bring it to court. The other element of “this is important”, is not just for her, but for the reader to remember. Because she gets body swapped again, she will ultimately pose said immediate danger to herself and others. Also, who knows if “proper authorities” can actually mean Princess Twilight and the crew bringing in some magic-ass kickin’. Seems like the proper authority to me.

Not that she had any plans on re-terrorizing the school or putting everyone’s lives in danger, but Sunset could almost hear the cell-doors clanking shut in front of her.

Wonderfully brought together with the art right in this section too! The shadow of the blinds making it look all too much like cell-doors. Signing her name? Signing her confession…. DUN DUN DUUUN.

“Oh-ho, no. Nope. We’re not doing this, no,” Sunset said, arms barred across her chest like a luxurious stay at the Tartarus Juvenile Detention Centre. “I’m not here to talk about me, I’m here to help my friends change back.”

And prison references continue! It all comes back together. All the Greek mythology references, combined with the justice system, coming together into that – the Tartarus Juvenile Detention Centre being the reason for the references and how this all feels, that she’s ultimately a bad friend and bad person, even if she’s not going to terrorize the school again not that she’ll have any say in that though. But also this whole thing could just be in of itself another way to foreshadow just that. Either way, she’s venturing through Hades to save her friends, but is willing to stay there if it means making things right.

Y’know it also kinda feels like Solstice is gonna pull out the ol’ Rorschach tests.

“Tell me what you see?”

Sunset proceeds to see either her kissing Twi, her strangling Timber, or Celestia disappointed in her.

Arms crossed. Sunset took in air just to sigh it back out like sand dragged back into the sea.

AND IT STILL MAKES YOUR FEET GRAINY. THERE’S ALWAYS A LIL BIT LEFT BEHIND IN YOUR SANDAL.

And a stop to say it’s lovely seeing this second picture right after. Solstice just across from the ‘imprisoned’ Sunset, showing the source of the cell-door imagery. Again, I’m no artist, but I feel like there’s a number of contrasts and comparisons to be seen here.

First, I’ll admit I don’t know what that thing is in the right side of the first pic and left side of the second pic. BUT It does connect the two – the way its coloured and the angle it’s on.

Second, the difference in line styling with each picture – the one feat. Sunset is softer, more rounded, wavy, especially when the shadow-prison-bars hit Sunset herself. Notably, the only parts of Solstice that are rounded are the two that are most influenced by Sombra.

Third, the way these two come together. It’s literally shadow prison bars. AND that’s what curves around Sunset. Her tea’s steam curves and is reminiscent of her hair, but curves towards Solstice. The parts of Solstice influenced by Sombra are his hair and his breath. They’re mimicking her – again a sort of foreshadowing, and also almost soul-like (yes I'm thinking Danny Phantom). Oh yeah also it’s like, half his face literally covered in shadow too. But not just any shadow, a shadow that reflects the Yin-Yang symbol – the darkness in the light, and the light in the darkness.

“Yes, precisely!” He leaned forward to the edge of his seat. “But the exact effect is dependent on you! Anyone can feel love for their friends, or joy, anger, fear—really, I believe you’re right, the intensity of your emotions correlates to the intensity of your magic. But if the power comes from you directly, it’s also my belief that exactly how it manifests is related to your individual psychology. Who you are, what those emotions mean to you personally.”

Okay, don’t like how he ended on fear there. Can’t take this fore-shadow-ing.

If Solstice’s individual personality affects how his magic manifests, does that mean his initial fear, perhaps fear of his father, helped make it what it is now? Would his guilt manifest differently, since that seems to be strong with him? Or maybe guilt is simply the aftermath of fear having been realized.

A stupid giggle bubbled to the surface. “I’ve had theories for years,” Solstice near-squealed, his eyes flickering back to their regular green, if only momentarily, and back again. “It wasn’t until I came here to help you students that I had any way of observing other samples besides myself! And the most marvelous part is I may have guided the students towards the answers, but they’re the ones to figure it out! And now they can learn to harness those powers for good! Emotional therapy meets magical theory!”

And here we see an example of it all playing out. Sunset mentioned acting as your true self as a form of creating strong emotions – and Solstice is no longer acting. He’s never had the chance to actually be his true self until an opportunity like this presented itself. He’s always had to act on stage, act a certain way in front of his dad, find this niche interest and be unable to share it, and he’s had to act like everything’s okay in order to not induce anxiety in anyone else, which would make him feel worse. He’s had to filter and mute himself. And thus, him acting as his true self allows him to regain control of his whole, true self back from Sombra. Allows him to be powered by magic through something stronger than fear. For now.

And that's the end of Part 1 of this chapter's commentary!

#Empathy for the Devil #EftD #EftD Chapter 11 Commentary #EftD Chapter 11 Commentary Part 1 #my stuff #commentary #marvelandponder #bevinbrand

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ashplayz · 1 year

Text

Bored.. Jasper x reader angst

Bored…

Jasper entered your house earlier than usual but she saw no signs of you anywhere she in turn grew slightly Irritated as she called out to you. "Hey Brat! Where are you?" She called out (silence) she grew more and more irritated by the second "Runt! Are you here!?" She called out louder this time sounding angry. Nothing she walked -stomped into the kitchen to find a note on the counter.

The note read-

'Hey Jasper sorry for not checking in ahead of

time but I'm going to be spending some time with some old friends of mine so I won't be home until late tonight. Help yourself to whatever you can find to eat (I still need to do the shopping..) Also, Try not to destroy anything while I'm gone I should be back by 8 O'clock or 8:30

I love you.

-Y/n'

Why did she read that in your annoyingly adorable voice/tone.. She let out an annoyed growl under her breath altho truthfully she never really cared if you spent time with your friends or away from her it wasn't like you were her prisoner and she never expected you to check in with her before going out somewhere she knew full well that she didn't own you and of course she trusted you it was other people she didn't trust..

Jasper Rummaged through your pantry in search of a snack grumbling something under her breath. She pulled out a half empty bag of spicy Cheetos. (you really did need to do the shopping) Jasper then grabbed the last can of soda out of the fridge smirking to herself as she knew she was going to get an ear full from you later seeing as you had already called dibs on the last soda. She made her way to the living room plopping down onto your sofa and turned on the TV in search of a nature documentary. The time was 5:30 when she started watching TV but to be honest she wasn't really even paying attention to the time.

Hours had passed of Jasper watching TV and ignoring the clock completely, also choosing to ignore the setting sun. But when Jasper finally looked up from the TV she had a bad feeling in her stomach.. It was 11 meaning that you were supposed to be home at 8 or 8:30 at the latest it had been 3 hours since you were supposed to be home.. Witch wasn't like you you were the kinda person that made a point to be on time the latest you had ever been after saying you'd be there at a certain time was roughly 30 minutes late or less not 3 damm hours..

Jasper growled as she sat up and turned off the TV not knowing what course of action would be best she settled on just sitting there and waiting for you to get back figuring that you couldn't be gone for much longer.. But as the seconds turned into minutes then the minutes turned into an hour she felt herself growing more and more anxious but clueless on how to act on it. Before she knew it it was almost 1 in the goddamn morning it was past 12:30 and still. No signs of you. That's when the door slammed open to reveal you standing there in the doorway covered in blood wearing tattered and ripped clothes, bruises and cuts covering you from head to toe Jasper felt her chest tighten and felt light headed which was odd considering she was a jem..

She quickly stood up off of the couch and bolted over to you causing the whole damn house to shake she was yelling but it was almost like you couldn't hear what she was saying you then collapsed closing your eyes tightly although you weren't actually passed out you just didn't want to deal with reality in that moment. Jasper caught you and was still yelling demanding to know who did this but to no avail.. She picked you up bridal style and set you on the couch running out of the room no doubt to find one of the first aid kits you had around the house. Her heavy foot falls shook the whole house and even caused something to fall off the wall and crash into the floor. Normally you would have yelled at her for running in the house but you couldn't care less about what she was doing in that moment you couldn't care less about her..

Your whole body ached and throbed it felt like you were just hit by a bus but that was nothing compared to the throbbing of fury inside you. You weren't really Sure who you were more angry with in that moment.. The people who you thought you could trust yet attacked you.. Or Jasper.. One things for sure you were indeed angry With her.. Her quickly falling feet made their way back to you as she knelt down beside you immediately starting to try to patch you up yelling something but you were far too irritated to listen to what was being said once her movements ceased she grabbed both of your arms forcing you to sit up despite the amount of pain you were in "Jasper!" You cried out angrily tears in your eyes.. "Y/n. Who. Did. This.!?" She demanded to know in a dangerous tone you didn't respond..

(Silence..) "I thought I could trust them.. I thought they actually cared.." You finally spoke up "Tell me who it was. So I can bash there skulls into the earth!" She said in that tone that always scared you. "NO! I DON'T WANT THAT! I DIDN'T WANT ANY OF THIS!" You yelled you struggled to stand up but once you stood over Jasper she too stood up her hands balled into fists altho she didn't say anything.. "I.. I was just.. We were hanging out and I started to vent about some problems I was having.. Because I was going crazy! I needed someone to talk to! And.. And they seemed really supportive at first.. I thought they actually cared.. But they.. They started to get really pushy.. I told them to stop but they wouldn't listen.. I tried to fight them off but.. I was outnumbered.. Thankfully I got away before they could do anything.. Else.. Jasper was silent, you wouldn't meet her gaze..

"Why didn't you talk to me. We are partners are we not?" She asked then causing anger to flare up inside of you "That's a laugh! You're never here!! And even when you are here you don't pay any mind to me! And I tried to talk to you. you didn't listen!!" you snapped, she was looking down at the ground, her hair hiding her expression "I am just so-!" You were about to start in on her again but you drew back all the fire leaving your soul Jasper watched as that spark you had in you die.. And it killed her inside.

"I am so… Bored… I am so bored of feeling like I'm not even worth a passing glance. I am so bored of feeling like you the person who's supposed to make me feel secure, the person I respect more than anyone else HATES ME!... I am… so.. Bored of this…I tried to make this work I really did because I choose to believe there was some good in you! But..mabey I was wrong mabey you really are a bad guy!... I .. I don't want this anymore.." You said tears were streaming down your face but you didn't feel sad. You didn't feel angry.. You just felt numb..

"What do you want?" She asked in a quiet voice not sounding angry…. After a deadly silence that Lingered for what felt like entirety you sighed before saying.. "I.. I want you out of my house. And I don't want you to come back." You said, sounding so sure of yourself.. What happened next you never would have expected.. She gently lifted your chin up with her fingers to meet her gaze. Her expression was unreadable but she was most certainly not feeling angry.. "Are you sure that's what you want?" She asked she looked into your eyes and you could swear it looked as if she had tears in them.. "yes. I am.. " you said finally. But what shocked you the most is when she gently took her fingers to your cheeks and wiped away your tears that were still falling.. "I'm sorry.." She said almost in a whisper.

She then turned and walked off to go pack up her belongings. Her chest felt heavy in fact her entire body felt like lead.. She walked into the bedroom and grabbed a bag and shoved the few things she owned into it. The only reason she owned half these things was that you would buy her gifts things she didn't need on impulse and while Jasper didn't show it she had always taken great pride in the fact that you thought she was worth whatever gift you bought for her. That's when she picked up the stuffed lion toy you gave her that she always pretended to dislike.. But truthfully she never did.. She remembered the night you gave it to her..

It was a very stormy night and you were taking longer to get back from work than usual and every news Channel on TV was saying how bad the storm was and that you should avoid driving unless absolutely necessary and how many drivers have gotten into fatal crashes.. That's when Jasper started thinking about how weak humans truly were, how Vulnerable to everything they really were, in a blink of an eye something unthinkable could happen and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.. She knew she couldn't always be there by your side to protect you.. What if something horrible happened and she wasn't able to protect you.. She would never forgive herself..

Jasper felt herself starting to panic she dug her nails Into her knees head down breathing hard forcing herself not to cry just then the door opened and you walked in you saw that something was clearly wrong so you hung up your wet coat and took your shoes off before making your way over to Jasper you knelt down in front of her putting your hand on top of one of hers "Jasper.. Hey.. Tell me what's wrong.. " you said gently, very worried her hand quickly grabbed onto yours tightly she was slightly shaking..

"How am I supposed to live with the fact that the worst possible thing could happen at any point in time and no one can do anything to stop it.. I.. Can't… always be there to protect you.. What if you got hurt or worse… I… I would never be able to forgive myself.. " Jasper said in a voice tight with emotion, your eyes widened at this.. You would never have thought Jasper to be the type to bring this up.. After a moment you smiled "Jasper.. " you said gently.. She looked up to face you "I might not know what's going to happen in the future.. But I do know that I'm actually.. A lot stronger than you might think.. Do you remember.. How I told you about that accident I was in when I was younger.. Well I didn't tell you the full story.." You said before standing up and climbing onto her lap as she wrapped her big arms protectively around you.

"I was 10 years old when it happened.. My parents were driving home from my grandparents house.. They were fighting as they Typically did.. My older brother maliki was complaining about how he wasn't getting any service and my baby brother Jay was crying.. And I.. Was pretending to be asleep so I didn't have to deal with it… that's when I heard my mother scream.. I opened my eyes to see a pair of bright headlights coming towards us from the side.. Next thing I knew.. We were weightless; it was like everything was in slow motion.. Then there was a massive crash as our car landed upside down.. What had happened was a semi truck hit our car from the side and it knocked our car off of the bridge above two other streets and our car fell to the bottom level.. It was a really bad crash… the last thing I remembered was.. Sirens and the sounds of screaming and crying fading out… I woke up in the hospital.. My parents were dead.. So was my baby brother Jay. My older brother Maliki was still alive though.. The doctors said it was a miracle I even woke up. They had predicted that I would be in a coma.. They also said that it was extremely unlikely that I would ever make a full recovery.. But I did.. Mostly.." You said

Jasper was silent and simply held you closer burying her face into your neck "You know.. Part of me feels like my older brother hates me for making a full recovery.. Because he's permanently damaged from the accident… We don't really talk any more.. " you said silence… "listen I really don't know what's going to happen in the future but what I do know is that we will face it together" you said before standing up and walking over to a cabinet you kept locked you unblocked it and pulled out a stuffed lion toy.

You walked over to her before handing the toy to Jasper "this lion always helped me through the dark times and when I was scared.. I named her Jay after my little brother. I think it's time she helped you now." You said Jasper didn't respond at first looking at the stuffed lion.. "Her? This is a male lion. It has a mane." Jasper pointed out you laughed a bit "Yeah but when I was a little kid I didn't know that I always called it a she." You said. "I think you should have her so she can help you when you're scared." You said with a sweet smile..

Jasper had stood there holding the stuffed toy while she remembered that night.. She hesitantly set it into her bag.. After Jasper had finished shoving all of her belongings into the bag and slinging it over her shoulder she made her way out of your home but didn't see you however.. She was hoping to see you so she could tell you one of the many things she regretted never telling you.. She walked out the front door and saw you sitting on the porch step crying.. She didn't say anything as she walked past but she stopped. And turned to you "Look I know this isn't going to solve anything it isn't going to change anything but… I want you to know that I love you.. And… i'm sorry it took.. this.. Happening for me to say this.. But I do truly.. Love you.. And I'm so sorry for everything… " she said then before turning and starting to walk off..

"For what it's worth… I'm really going to miss having you as my roommate.." You said suddenly.. "... Yeah.. Same here… . same here…" she said quietly before walking away.. It was silent then as you went to war with yourself in your mind fighting the urge to go after her and beg her to stay.. You knew that wasn't right.. You knew this was how things had to be.. With tears still streaming down your face you stood up walking into the house.. you knew that this was never healthy.. It was bad from the start.. You were a fool for forcing yourself to believe that she could change..

You sighed heavily "bored.. " you whispered out into the silence of your home..

Jasper walked not necessarily knowing whare she was going.. But knowing she just had to move.. She was angry.. But that was only directed inward.. And there was nothing.. She could do about it… she knew this was her fault that she lost the one person that she had ever loved because of her huge ego and her pride.. She felt.. Incredibly hopeless in that moment…

She felt tears falling down her face… 'I really am a bad guy.. ' she thought to herself as she walked far away from the place and the person she called home..

(Pt 2 is finally out btw)

#steven universe #jasper #x reader #angst #Spotify

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marvel-and-chicago-fan · 8 months

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1 Hour

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“Everly, don’t forget to eat your lunch on the counter!” Hailey Called out to the twins as she grabbed her phone off the counter. Everly ran downstairs to see her lunch packed, for the first time in forever. “Thanks Mom” Everly almost ran into Jay whilst running out the front door. “Bye honey see you later. '' Jay called out. “You too” Everly closed the door and walked down the sidewalk towards school.

I'm Everly Halstead. You can call me Eve, Ev, Eve, V or Evie. People spell my name differently. Me and my twin brother Nathan are 15 years old and were in 10th grade, well I'm in 10th grade my brother was homeschooled so he's in 11th grade since he was “smarter” than me.

My parents are amazing detectives in the intelligence unit. Pretty amazing but most would disagree. My brother Nathan was born with Spina Bifida, when he was born his spine wasn't formed properly so his Spinal cord and nerves, so his ability to walk was damaged but it's better now and he does Physical therapy to help.

The doctors said he would never be able to walk, but because us halsteads are stubborn he beat those odds and with help and surgery he was able to walk with an assistant when he was 5. My parents say I'm the best younger sister in the world, even though I'm 11 minutes younger, I disagree. Most of the time I mind my business and understand when my parents have to go take care of Nathan.

Once Everly walked through the front door she already knew the drill. Get to color Guard practice. Football season is over but with the UIL season in a couple of months and your state hoping to go Nationals this year all the practices started early. The band directors would get mad when people were late, absent, sitting down or just chilling out in general. She hated it most of the time but she liked it and she had to take a fine arts class to graduate.

Once practice was over Everly walked to homeroom and sat down in her seat. Everly didn't have any friends as most people didn't like kids whose parents were cops/detectives. She also learned having friends came with problems and issues, so she rather just be by herself with her family.

“So Everly what did you do during Thanksgiving break?” Ms. Wilson Her English teacher spoke. “I just hung out with my family and ate some good food” She shrugged. “Probably failed at her stupid flag sport” The “popular” mean girl Cora spoke. The whole class let out a light laugh. “And you probably spent trying to make out with the entire football team.” The whole class started laughing at Everlys joke more than Coras. Coras jaw dropped and formed a big “O” Everly sat down in her seat laughing in her head. She hated these kids and they all probably hated her.

After school instead of heading to the district I walked home, I had a lot of homework to do and since it's getting colder my asthma is getting a little worse. Oh yeah I forgot to mention I have asthma. It doesn't really affect me until I start pushing myself too hard or when it's really really cold. I knew no one would be home since my parents were at work and my brother was doing whatever he usually does around this time. Perfect, peace and quiet.

#chicago pd #halstead brothers #jay halstead #will halstead #one chicago #chicago #hailey upton #halstead #hank voight #chicago med

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hitman-two · 1 year

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Brad Colbert Smutty HCs

Happy New Year Smutty Motherfuckers! Godfather would be proud disturbed. ▸ They don’t call him Big Boy Brad for nothing. That’s a lie. No one calls him that. Except you.

▸ Blowjobs are Brad’s bestfriend. He refrains from placing his hand in your hair and gripping your hair, unless he knows you’re comfortable with it, but he has incredible self-restrain when it comes to you. Perhaps annoyingly so for you when you just want him to fall apart beneath you. However, as soon as your lips engulf him inch by inch, that self restraint wavers as he rolls his eyes back to a fluttering close, parts his lips and lets out a sigh/exhale of breath. Almost like it was the most relaxing thing he’s ever had. ▸ You could’ve given him a blowjob only hours prior and he’d still have this reaction every single time.

▸ Brad is an extremely private man. Unlike Ray, there’d be no semi-public shenanigans whatsoever. But he will, very subtly, tease you in public. No one else notices, but you know Brad well enough to know exactly what he’s up to. ▸ Despite not being adventurous publicly, he has no issue taking you in every single room. You eat at the table? That’s where he’ll eat too - if you catch the drift... -wink- ▸ He loves when you ride him. Loves watching you bounce up and down. Loves gripping your hips and thrusting up into you. Adores watching you throw your head back in pleasure. ▸ You know that scene from True Blood? Eric x Nora, Season 5, Episode 11? That particular scenario too. You're still straddling him, but it's that rough, desperate closeness. ▸ It may seem like he uses you the first night he’s home, but he doesn’t. Try to take it as a compliment. He’s spent months without you. He’s had the occasional combat jack to you, but it’s never the same - and since being in a relationship with you, he’s found himself not having as many combat jacks as Ray assumes he has. So, as soon as you get home, it’s a very desperate ’I miss you’ fuck. It’s desperate, intense and over within a few minutes. He’s asleep soon after. And pretty much checked out until early hours of the following morning. But it’s not using you for sex. No. So far from it. He’s wanted nothing more to come home to you and be with you in the most intimate way possible… He’s placed you first, over the need for sleep. Otherwise he would’ve come home and just crashed. ▸ He’s a gentle-fuck. Can fuck roughly but he’s still gentle about it. Which may or may not annoy you, depending on how badly you want him to put all his strength to good use. This is his second relationship and he doesn’t want to fuck it up so he’s always very cautious. ▸ One way to make him completely come undone? Take advantage of when he’s soaking in the bath. Come in and sit on the edge of the bathtub. Have a little chat before it turns suggestive. Dip your hand beneath the water… You’re able to pull out the little gasps and moans from him. And also a whine when your hand leaves him and you leave him, alone, in the bathtub as you saunter out of the bathroom. Make no mistake though. Soon, you’ll hear the splosh of the water as Brad gets out and pins you to the bed within three quick strides of his long legs (holy shit did I just create a smutty one-shot idea here? Excuse me while I steal my own idea). ▸ Brad loves receiving. As submissive as it sounds, he loves it. But make no mistake. He is far from submissive. He still carries an air of dominance about him. Sergeant leader and all. ▸ A little kink of his is when you call him by his rank. He’s heard it from his men before, doesn’t really talk about what happens when he’s deployed… but hearing you say *’Yes Sergeant’* in the most submissive manner…. Oh god, it excites the Marine more than receiving a proper recon mission that allows his warrior spirit to finally shine. ▸ It’s not all about Brad though. He gives you just as much pleasure and attention as you give him. Many times it’s him lifting you up on the counter and letting his hands roam over your body. Fingers that are trained for violence, just ghosting over your skin, over your sensitive areas…ducking beneath YOUR his tee, trailing upwards until he hears that little gasp from you. Brings that little smile from him and his lips are ghosting over your neck. Just soft foreplay until one of you snap and then he’s carrying you to the bedroom where you’ll never know whether he’ll be taking you a little roughly or will be taking his sweet time with you. Either/or, Big Boy Brad never disappoints. ▸ He grunts softly more than he moans. And gasps a lot more than he’ll ever admit. But that’s only privy to you.

I can see this particular HC going one of two ways; ▸ Brad and his porn mags: He uses those magazines to get him off because he doesn’t want to be thinking about you. He misses you like crazy but you are literally the only damn good thing in his life, aside from his bike, and some romantic chivalrous part of him doesn’t want to taint that. So he purposefully puts you out of his mind. Or, he’s a guy. He uses it to get himself started but ends up closing his eyes and finishing to thoughts of you, abandoning the magazine altogether. Honestly, half the time he wonders why he even brings it with him. (No, he does not carry a picture of you while overseas. Absolutely not. Most especially when Ray shares the same Humvee as him.) ▸ Now normally Brad does not like to be disturbed when he's working on his bike. That's his personal time. Leave him alone. But no way can he resist watching you come out in one of his tee's, lingerie underwear (or none!). Soon your otherwise clean skin will have grease marks painted all over it as he sits you on his bike... gasps and moans echoing through the garage (there's a reason why Brad doesn't like having close neighbours).*

|| Disclaimers: I did write most of these specifically for a friend. One of them I had already HC’d with Brad/Nate a year ago. The rest were just too good to not share on my blog.

*Another smutty one-shot? Also if you don't agree with any of it, that's totally fine. This is just coming from my perspective. Regardless, I hope this was enjoyable to read. A particular HC listed, regarding Ray, might've made more sense if I posted Ray's HC list first. Oh well. Like our Lieutenant, I only ever get what's passed on from Godfather (Godfather ragrats everything)

#Brad Colbert Smut #Brad colbert x Reader #Brad colbert x Reader smut #Combat Jack Spice Rack #It's New Years and I'm sat on Tumblr writing smut HCs over Marines who would be absolutely disgusted #What a way to end 2022 #But I'm online with the same type of people so CHEERS!

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milf-harrington · 1 year

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SO WHAT HAPPENED WAS AT DINNER, MY MOM AND DAD WERE TALKING ABOUT A BOOK SERIES THEY'D BEEN READING, THEY EVENTUALLY ASK ME (WELL KNOWN AVID READER) WHAT I'VE BEEN READING RECENTLY. HERE'S THE THING. I HAVE NOT READ A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF PUBLISHED BOOKS IN YEARS. WE'RE LUCKY IF I GET TWO BOOKS IN SIX MONTHS, I STILL READ A LOT (ALTHOUGH STILL NOT AS MUCH) IT'S JUST FANFIC, SO I SAY, OH I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T REALLY READ MUCH LATELY", BC MOST OF THE BOOKS I READ THEY RECOMMEND TO ME SO I CAN'T LIE AND SAY ONE OF THOSE BC THEY'LL ASK ME ABOUT IT, AND I CAN'T EVEN SAY SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T READ BC THEY'LL ALSO ASK ME ABOUT IT, SO YEAH, I SAY I HAVEN'T READ MUCH LATELY, AND THEY KNOW AND HAVE KNOWN THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN AS BIG A READER AS I USED TO BE AND THEY'RE KINDA CONCERNED, SO MY DAD'S LIKE, "WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR ROOM ALL DAY? BC I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SPENDING HOURS SCROLLING TO THE ENDS OF THE INTERNET ON YOUR PHONE" (SAID IN A TONE THAT SAYS "THAT BETTER NOT BE WHAT YOU'RE DOING") BUT SEE. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING. I SPEND HOURS STRAIGHT ON TUMBLR. BUT TECHNICALLY, I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT, AND ALSO, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA, SO I CANNOT ADMIT TO BEING ON TUMBLR AND EVEN IF I DON'T MENTION TUMBLR I CAN'T ADMIT THAT I'VE BEEN ON THE INTERNET FOR HOURS BC A. STILL NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. AND B. I KNOW I'LL GET ASKED WHAT I'M EVEN DOING ON THE INTERNET FOR HOURS BC WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE OCCUPYING MY ATTENTION THAT LONG. SO I KNOW THEY KNOW I READ FANFICTION. BC I FOUND FANFICTION BACK WHEN I WAS 11 AND STILL ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THE RULES THEY SET FOR ME, SO WHEN I WANTED A FF.NET ACCOUNT I DID AS THEY'D TOLD ME AND ASKED THEM BEFORE SIGNING UP FOR ANYTHING. SO I KNOW THEY KNOW AND IT'S A LAST RESORT. SOMETHING THEY'RE OK WITH THAT JUSTIFIES HOURS IN MY ROOM BUT NOT READING A NORMAL BOOK. SO EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T READ AS MUCH FANFIC LATELY EITHER AND THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT WHAT I SPENT FOUR HOURS DOING, THAT'S WHAT I SAY. I QUIETLY ADMIT: "I'M STILL READING A LOT, IT'S JUST NOT REGULAR BOOKS" AND MY DAD IS A DICK SO HE'S LIKE "OH? WHAT ARE YOU READING" (HE KNOWS. THAT MOTHERFUCKER KNOWS. BC HE'S TEASED ME ABOUT READING FANFIC BEFORE I KNOW HE STILL REMEMBERS I DO THAT EVEN THOUGH I WISH THEY'D FORGET) THERE'S NO WAY TO ESCAPE THIS BC I TRY NOT TO ANSWER BUT THEY WON'T LET ME CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ANYTHING AND BEING QUIET ONLY DELAYS THE INEVITABLE SO I SAY "FANFICTION" AND THEN. MY DAD'S LIKE "OH WHAT IS IT FANFICTION FOR?" MOTHERFUCKER. SHITHEAD. YOU KNOW I ALREADY HATE TALKING ABOUT MY INTERESTS. YOU KNOW THAT HATRED INCREASES THE MORE "NERDY" OR NICHE THE INTEREST GETS. WE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WELL BEFORE THIS POINT. AGAIN. NO WAY OUT OF THIS, EVEN THOUGH I'M STARING AT THE TABLE SILENTLY BEGGING HIM TO JUST PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER HIMSELF BC JUST LAST WEEKEND HE TOOK ME TO A CONVENTION WHERE I GOT THREE ST COMICS SO I KNOW HE KNOWS I'M STILL FIXATED ON IT. BUT NOPE. NO WAY OUT. SO I SAY. "STRANGER THINGS" THIS SHOULD BE THE END OF IT, HE WON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYMORE DETAILS, AT THIS POINT I HAVE LIKE 7 BITES LEFT OF MY DINNER, I CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL! ONE MORE QUESTION. "IS THE STRANGER THINGS FANFICTION PROLIFIC" IDK WHY HE ASKED THIS, BUT EASY QUESTION. "YEAH, YEAH IT IS" THEN MY BABY SISTER NEEDS HELP IN THE BATHROOM SO HE GETS UP AND I'M TRYING TO HURRY AND FINISH MY BAKED POTATO, HE COMES AND SITS BACK DOWN, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA DROP IT AND I HAVE A BITE LEFT, SO I FINISH IT. I GET UP, I'M IN THE DOORWAY, ALMOST HOME FREE!! BUT THEN. (1/2 I hit character limit)

I am on the edge of my fucking seat

#rori's byler interrogation #<- you get a tag for this #asks #rori tag

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pbandjesse · 1 year

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I was so nervous about today and it did not matter at all. Today was great.

I slept pretty well last night. When James left for work I was aware of the time. And did the thing where I was like. If I wake up at X I will be able to sleep for Y more minutes. Which is very annoying because it makes my brain like. Loop that information and then I cannot sleep. But thankfully I was able to fall back asleep and I woke up at 930 and felt great honestly. I'm glad I slept until then. It was the best I have felt.

I got up and made the bed and got dressed. I wore my new black dress that is a very thick material and it drapes so nice. I had breakfast and listened to a podcast. I spent some time fixing my one necklace to make the chain longer so it lays nice in my necklace stack. I've really been enjoying layering my necklaces lately. Makes me feel pretty.

I was doing good and felt good. Except my eye. Which hurt so stupid bad. It was swollen and red and watering uncontrollably. It would take a long time, hours, to calm down. I am not sure why it happens and it doesn't last forever so I don't understand it. I rinses my eye and used drops and eventually it was okay but I would have to redo my makeup. Ah well.

I spent the morning just enjoying myself. Hanging out with Sweetp. I put the dishes away. I had the leftover pizza and got myself together for my class.

I did read the Wikipedia article about the artist we were talking about today. Norval Morrisseau, who went by Copper Thunderbird. I was glad I did the reading. And I'm glad that we were talking about a specific person. It made it easier for me.

I left here around noon. Said goodbye to Oleksander who was sitting in the hall. He told me it was cold outside! And I told him I almost didn't wear a coat but I was glad I did.

Its a quick drive over to awah. I was really nervous about unlocking the door and disarming the building but it was totally fine.

I got in and very soon Naomi was ringing the bell. She was very sweet. About 40, very kind. She told me to shush her if she's talking to much but I'm like. I will not be doing that!!

Soon our contact for the autism society came and she was lovely. She said we would have teens first and then adults. And we were expecting up to 20 people! Woah! But I was excited.

And I was right to be so. It would end up being about 11 per group, with half being the parents or carers of the students. And they were all so fun. For the first group I would just explain the project to each of them individually so no one was waiting around.

We had a good mix of abilities. My favorite person was Ireland. Omg was she great. She was really really excited once I started listening to her about her self insert sailor moon character. She was bouncing out of her seat. Her mom kept saying how excited she was. But I was just thrilled to be talking to her. The boys that all came were also excellent. I had some great moments with everyone. One of them really loved to clean and organize so he cleaned all the pallets. I'm just glad he was having fun.

Soon they were cleaning up and the adult class was coming in. They were also great. But we did the class a little different. Instead of talking to each about the project I talked to everyone at once. Got to talk more about the artist and the style and it was nice. There was one guy who shook everyone's hands and he was very kind. He seemed excited when I was like. Yes this is the project but when you are done please use the materials and paper and make what brings you joy. And he was like. Thank you. And it felt so nice. I really felt like I was at my best today in so many ways. I also felt super authenticity myself today. Like I felt lighter inside.

As the hour wound down I started organizing the bags for materials. Naomi would collect and clean and I would sort and put away. Periodically check on everyone. And it was fun. I think next time I will play music. Just to bring some more joy into the room.

I let everyone know I wouldn't be there next week but that the program would still be on. And they said they hope I have fun learning glass blowing and that I better bring pictures back. I promised I will!!

We were pretty well cleaned up. And soon I was arming the building and heading out. I hope I did it right. I think I did. There wasnt really a way to check so I really hope it was correct.

It was a little warmer out then. I would quickly drive home. I went upstairs and dropped off a few things. And then went out again. I walked to the Walgreen to get some hair stuff and chips. It was a nice little walk. And then I came home.

Soon James was home too. While I was drawing a ring leader bear. And James would heat up pasta for me and eventually make me a quesadilla. I ate weird combinations of food tonight. Which upset my belly. But it was nice just hanging with James on the couch while I drew.

Eventually I took a bath. And me and James watched a little documentary. The skin on mu right hand hurts really bad right now so knitting wasn't super fun but I got a few rows done. And now we are in bed.

It is a good day. I feel happy. I am a little nervous about tomorrow because the groups are huge. But it will be a good day. I have decided.

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of each other!! Goodnight!!

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lindsaystravelblogs3 · 3 months

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Days 108 to 110 10-12 September

Day 108 10 September

A mystery day! We were at sea in the morning with lectures and more citizen science but after lunch we were at Edinburgh Island – and I have absolutely no recollection of it at all. Heather went ashore and one of her photos shows what looks a bit like my hand with my signet ring at the edge, but I don’t have a single photo from the day, so I am pretty sure I didn’t accompany her ashore. Having said that, I have a vague recollection of arriving on shore one day, only to find my camera battery flat and both my spares still on the ship, so who knows? Alas, I don’t think we will ever know for sure – just another lost day out of my strange life. A few of Heather’s photos look quite familiar – landscapes very similar to those we saw quite often – but others that obviously were significant to her but are completely unfamiliar to me.

Day 109 11 September

Back to reality. I enjoyed some of time a couple of days ago on my own at Cambridge Bay – or should I call it Painbridge Bay? But I think today was probably the best day of the trip for me.

Today, we were at Port Epworth where it was a few degrees warmer than it had been over the past week or so and our shore excursion promised much. We were promised some stromatolites and we saw plenty – many more, and looking quite a bit different from, those we have seen in a few places in Western Australia. Stromatolites are very ancient colonies of microscopic cyanobacteria, thought to be one of the earliest forerunners of life on earth, that have eventually formed into beds of (usually) circular rocks.

Almost as soon as we alighted from our zodiacs, we came across a ridge of rock with dozens of examples and our cameras ran hot – but much larger areas and more defined examples were seen a little later in the morning. We broke up into three groups – long hikers, short hikers and the much-maligned beachcombers. With my hips, I couldn’t contemplate anything other than beachcombing and only one other woman chose to join this group. Of course, we still needed a guide with a gun in case a polar bear came searching for his/her lunch – and we were allocated our chief naturalist: the guy I spent most time with anyway. It ended up with just the three of us (joined late in the morning by one of the other guides) exploring a wonderful stretch of coast and a nearby island.

First up, there was a call to ‘come quick’ because someone had seen some birds – a groups of about eight Willow Ptarmigans, an exceptionally secretive species that allowed us to get to within about five metres of them while they scratched around in the undergrowth, and although photography was challenging, we all got acceptable pics. The long hikers later spotted a Rock Ptarmigan, and the short hikers got a glimpse of a White-tailed Ptarmigan, both at extreme distance, but the Willow beauties were almost running around our feet. It was certainly a big thrill for me and even for Pierre, my favourite naturalist.

Next came a huge flood of Snow Buntings, a few hundred of them flying south, all around us over half an hour or so – only to fly back again a little later in the morning. We saw quite a few other birds, several that we had not seen previously on this trip – as well as a couple of active nests on rocks close inshore. My hips were causing quite a bit of pain so I chose to sit on some rocks for a while and let the birds come to me – and they did. What a wonderful morning!! We were walking in a very boggy area with many very small ponds between the reeds and we surprised a few more waterbirds as we walked along. The flora was also quite spectacular – not that I recognised much, but had Heather come out with us, she would have had a field day. I took lots of photos and took them back to her and some of them ended up on the ship list of species seen on the expedition. (In retrospect, most but not all, of the photos I took for her were of the same species she photographed on my lost day when she was on Edinburgh Island yesterday.)

We also saw a few ground squirrels – very cute little rodents that poked their heads up for photos from time to time. I love all squirrels and these were especially cute.

The guide who joined us late in the morning was one of the Inuit guides and we found ourselves in an area with quite a lot of jetsam and other discarded rubbish along the littoral. Between us, we collected dozens of items and piled them on the beach for removal back to the ship for proper disposal – but I think it may have all been for nought. One of the other guides said we weren’t allowed to take anything from the land back on board (despite us having done it – and been encouraged to do it – on numerous occasions on this and previous trips) and despite making a few unanswered enquiries, I suspect he prevented it from being disposed of in a proper manner.

All up, it was a wonderful morning. We had another landing close by along the coast in the afternoon. It was quite similar to the morning’s meanderings but there were more people in the group, and it held little of the magic I experienced in the morning. The morning landing was an unusually long one while the afternoon one was quite short, but overall, I rate the day as probably the best of the expedition.

Late in the afternoon, the ship positioned into a very calm cove where a few (very few) hardy souls did the tame (very tame) Polar Plunge. Having done it ourselves, in both the north and south polar regions, in more extreme conditions than existed today, (and before the ultra risk-averse namby-pamby conditions were implemented - who needs a safety harness and extraction rope when we can simply swim back to the ladder and our waiting shot of vodka?), we didn't feel we needed to risk exacerbating our sniffles by doing it again. We didn't have anything to prove - least of all to ourselves!

Day 110 12 September

Today, we were in the Dolphin and Union Strait – sailing up and back, up and back, for over 24 hours to avoid the gale-force winds outside the main Strait. It was simply a holding pattern while we waited for the winds to abate so we spent all day in lectures, citizen science – and, of course, eating and drinking. The scenery was interesting but after a while, repetition got the better of us and we started to ignore it.

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caerbannogmochi · 2 years

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This weekend: also known as 1 nephew, 2 injuries, and 3 meetings with cousins

Wednesday The saga began as many do, when I stubbed my foot on firewood (originating from a tree cut down over a year ago that still hasn't been dealt with, obviously) in the dark after I was asked to make sure the fence gate was closed so the dog wouldn't run out into the street. I say I stubbed my foot (rather than the traditional toe) on account of the major scrape and minor toe displacement.

Thursday was spent icing my foot: after all, I would be taking care of my 2 year old nephew this weekend (Ya know, the one who got so hot he was at risk of getting sezures due to an unknown COVID infection (which, in the typical fashion, promptly infected almost everyone else in the household) that was likely given to him by his father), and needed as much mobility as I could get for the task. Additionally, I had a lightsaber dueling meetup on Saturday, and I couldn't exactly fight and have fun if I wasn't able to use my foot.

Friday was when my beloved nephew arrived, and I admitted to myself that this weekend wouldn't be fun for me. Upon spending 5 minutes in my presence, I immediately became the Beloved Auntie Who Is Not Allowed To Leave (likely due to the fact that I reacted to the things he did). I also learnt of the fact that Sunday morning would be spent having breakfast with my grandmother (who lived over an hour away) and the rest of my father's side of the family. My foot was feeling better, and although I did slightly scratch up one of my hands the rest of the day passed without incident.

Saturday Remember the phrase "The rest of the day"? The day began acceptably, with my nephew (who finally went to sleep at 11:30) waking up at a decent time (read: other people were awake then). My HEMA fencing mask had shown up a few days prior, so I prepared for the lightsaber dueling meet by dressing up in full getup and dueling my brother (with my nephew watching, obviously!) A quick sidetrack: The lightsaber fighting group had armor guidelines that went thusly:

Unless you were going gearless (which was seriously not reccomended), you were required to wear protective gloves. I specifically use lacrosse gloves with a wrist bit that I got at a used sports gear place

The aformentioned HEMA helmet (read: fencing mask) was also part of the minimum gear list

Torso protection was (for me) covered by a used lacrosse chest guard, as well as a gambison I got off etsy that was too big (yet wasn't returned due to hesitation turned guilt)

There were also things like shin guards, a throat guard, and other bits of armor I won't name here, but as I don't have any of those these will be glossed over

These pieces of armor served to protect me from glorified polycarbonate glowsticks. Now back to the story. At the lightsaber dueling meetup, I met a new member of the fellowship, learned a few new things about hitting things with imitation swords, had problems finding water, and dueled quite a few times. My last duel of the day was against Matt, an old master of swordfighting (at least compared to me). He had subtly taught me somewhat about countering baits and we were in another mock fight when, in a freak fencing accident, he hit my thumb BETWEEN THE PADS ON MY LACROSSE GLOVES. We immediately stopped, Matt told me how he managed that type of injury (keep it moving so it doesn't lock up), and I (due to the pain and tenderness) chose to basically sit out for the rest of the time (we were nearly done anyway). Naturally, one of the first things that happened upon getting home was my father commanding me to grab things with my (iritated) hands: we needed to clean for cousins who were coming for dinner this evening! After a rather painful hour or so, I managed to get the indoor shift, which transitioned into the Help Host your Cousins shift. My nephew woke up and refused to leave my side, one of my cousins decided to rearrange almost the entire kitchen (although I managed to stop her from cleaning my room by tactically pointing out how it was actually a bizzare hybrid of "mom's office" and "my bedroom, at least some of the time"), we actually managed to scrounge together food, and my nephew fell asleep at 11 or so, at which point I was unexpectedly evicted from the room I thought I'd be sleeping in, instead sleeping in the aformentioned office-bedroom hybrid at around

SUNDAY. Cue being expected to wake up at 6:30 AM to get ready for an 8AM breakfast with my father's side of the family (the group going consisted of me, my father, and my brother). For reference, the saying in my family is that my grandmother considers you family even if you got married for 5 minutes in Las Vegas: you could make a decent sized football team (with replacements/substitutions) if you accepted both genders in the same team, no matter which side of my family tree you were looking at. As it was, the party spilled out onto the golf course my paternal grandmother lived beside, people ate through two breakfast casserole dishes, and the family picture had 3 rows. I (somewhat) caught up with a few of my cousins, played a game where we tried to knock down pegs on the lawn, and generally enjoyed the company for a few hours before we headed back. Once we'd returned, I watched my nephew, utterly failed to put him to sleep, passed out beside him once my mother intervined, became the Beloved Auntie Who Is Not Allowed To Leave for the... third time(?), continued watching him, then read chapter 1 of The Hobbit, which lead to him falling asleep at a decent time! "Hey," I thought proudly, "maybe I'm getting better at this whole Auntie thing!"

Monday It took me 4 chapters of The Hobbit (along with the rising sun) before I admitted I was not putting my nephew back to sleep. Before setting off to the Midfloor of Moria, I looked at my phone clock. It was 6 AM. Fortunately I had developed a plan for these circumstances. Due to how the frontroom and kitchen were set up, I could put a show on in the front room, which served as an extra set of hands while I put on the last 2 toaster waffles (which had been devoured by nephew and brother alike) to feed my nephew. Also fortunately, not as many people were asleep as I'd initially thought, which meant I was able to retrive his water & milk bottles. After a few hours of that the household transitioned into a more typical arrangement as we tried to figure out how to return the kid. It began 30 minutes after we were supposed to leave, when my mother realized we were a bit late and managed to dash everyone involved to the car. It continued when we had to figure out how to adjust the length of the seatbelts, accompanied by a bored toddler, due to Sunday's journey leading to some seat adjustment (which messed the car seat). Once we were finally in the car, I was tasked with driving to his mother's house, which I had to tag out of due to vision problems around 40 minutes in. My mother told me to grab starbucks, I walked in (as opposed to going through the drive through: I wanted the walk)... which woke up my nephew, who immediately saw the Beloved Auntie Who Is Not Allowed To Leave, leaving! My drink could not be made fast enough for that sobbing child. Things got easier once I made it into the backseat with my nephew returned to his carseat. We were able to show him some cartoons, although he got fussy and we had to turn them off; it turns out all he wanted was the Beloved Auntie's hand, at which point he passed out until we made it to his mother's. Once we got there, we talked for a while, catching up on life and drinking tea for a while before we departed to hang out with her sister. Jill (not real name), which entailed having drinks at a cafe and chatting with eachother before heading home.

And that's how one weekend led to a suprising amount of mayhem. Hopefully the therapy and eye appointments I have tommorow go well.

#blog #story #writing practice #personal stuff

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magicshopaholic · 2 years

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The Fifth: Part 2 (Jungkook x OC)

Summary: After a horrible first date, Jungkook is determined to redeem himself with a second. You're just as determined not to give in, until you realise you might just.

Pairing: Jungkook x OC

Genre: Fluff, teasing, banter, idiots to lovers

Word count: 12.6 K

Warnings: Minor injuries, Jungkook in a leather jacket

Part 2 of 2 (Part 1)

Listen to: "whistle for the choir" by the fratellis

jungkook masterlist | main masterlist

Ping.

You close your eyes even tighter, groaning into the pillow when your phone pings again. It’s been a long few days; the promotion feels like it's in your grasp, just a few weeks away from becoming official. Barring any complications. Extra credit means extra work and less sleep, making tonight the first night in a long time that you’ve been able to go to bed by midnight.

When your phone pings a third time, you grudgingly open your eyes, the screen on the bedside table the only source of light in the otherwise dark room. Silently cursing whoever it is, you see a message from Jeon Jungkook on your lockscreen. You’re tired, but you find yourself opening it anyway to see three messages, all sent within a span of a minute.

JK [00:08]

I remembered a second thing.

JK [00:08]

You like Harry Styles.

JK [00:09]

You were singing along to my playlist in the car.

You frown, immediately thinking back to that night before replying.

Me [00:10]

What are you talking about?

JK [00:10]

You were singing along to Adore You. It was soft but you definitely were.

Me [00:11]

The music must have been echoing in the car.

JK [00:11]

Forgive me but your voice sounds nothing like Harry’s.

You wince, chewing on your bottom lip. It’s not completely unbelievable.

Me [00:12]

Um, I really don’t think I was singing.

JK [00:12]

You were. I distinctly remember because I was contemplating telling you to knock it off, but you actually sounded pretty good.

Me [00:13]

Oh.

Me [00:13]

That’s quite a compliment from you, I guess.

JK [00:14]

You’re welcome. And that’s two.

You roll your eyes, flipping onto your stomach to rest in a more comfortable position, gazing at your screen.

Me [00:15]

You remembered this random detail in the middle of the night?

JK [00:15]

It’s barely midnight. I just had my second dinner.

Me [00:15]

I thought you were on a diet.

JK [00:16]

Sigh. I am but I also spent two hours in the gym and eight hours in the dance studio so I’m allowing myself a cup of ramen.

Me [00:16]

Good kid.

JK [00:16]

Wait, did I wake you up?

Me [00:16]

Almost.

JK [00:16]

Huh. Already?

Me [00:17]

Yes. I need to make up for a week’s worth of sleep and still be up by seven.

JK [00:17]

I thought you people started work at nine. Do you take two hours to get ready?

Me [00:17]

No, but I need to make a detour to this coffee shop before work.

JK [00:18]

Doesn’t Hybe have coffee machines everywhere?

Me [00:18]

Yes, but the one on our floor’s been broken for ages. And I need the caffeine.

JK [00:18]

Alright then. I’ll let you sleep.

Me [00:18]

That’s very big of you.

JK [00:19]

Haha. Just wanted to remind you - two down, three to go. Goodnight :)

You sigh and lock your phone, rolling on your back to go to sleep. You picture the shit-eating grin he’s sure to have on his face right now, thrilled at remembering two things from the horrendous date you’d both been on. Ever since you made it clear to him that you’d forgiven him and weren’t mad at him anymore, his entire demeanour changed from wide-eyed and apologetic to downright mischievous and cocky.

You hadn’t quite expected Jungkook to take this challenge so seriously; to be honest, you’d only created it to discourage him. You were sure he remembered next to nothing, mostly because due to the lack of response, you’d eventually stopped talking as well. The fact of the matter was that there wasn’t a lot of material to begin with - or so you’d thought.

Somehow, a week after the launch party, he’d texted you out of the blue during a working lunch, where you, Seulgi and three other people were sitting on the floor of a conference room, working towards a deadline that took precedence over everything else, including food.

“Is that Sooya?” Seulgi asked immediately when your phone pinged. “She literally texted you five minutes ago! Tell your manager we’re doing it as fast as we can! Jesus.”

“No, hang on,” you muttered, frowning at your phone where it was on the table. From where you were sitting, you could only make out the notification and the length of the sender’s name - too short to be Kim Sooya’s. Reaching up, you retrieved it to find a message from someone you genuinely didn’t think you’d hear from again.

JK [13:40]

You don’t like seafood. Right?

You squinted. You’d saved his contact with just his initials seven months ago, finding it strange that Jeon Jungkook was messaging you at all. You weren’t a BTS fan by any stretch of the imagination; you knew them, you didn’t dislike them and if a popular song played at a club, you probably knew the words. But even you knew their maknae and moreover, you knew his fanbase. In an effort to keep the lowest profile possible, you’d gone so far as to mask his name in your phone as much as possible without feeling like a criminal.

Me [13:43]

Is this an accidental text?

He replied immediately.

JK [13:43]

No. You, Cheon Lia, don’t like seafood. Am I right?

It was true, unfortunately, but you could place neither the context nor the expected response.

Me [13:44]

Why do you think that?

JK [13:44]

Because on our date, I ordered the fish and you made a face. So you probably don’t like seafood.

Me [13:45]

Is this about the five things I dared you to remember from that night?

JK [13:45]

Yes. And this is one.

“What does she want?”

Your head whipped up to see Seulgi, eyes wide and questioning. “Oh, it’s - it’s not Sooya. Just… my mom.” You wait until she processes this and turns back to her laptop before turning back to your phone.

Me [13:46]

Alright. This is one. Good job, Jeon. I think.

JK [13:46]

Four more to go. Have a good day :)

That was four days ago. In the flurry of endless work, most of which is for BTS’s new comeback, you’ve been too busy to think about it and he’s presumably too busy with said comeback to do the same. Still, the fact that he’s texted you in the middle of the night implies that he hasn’t forgotten about your challenge - and you find you’re pleasantly surprised at how much he remembers.

You’re still thinking about it the next morning when you reach Hybe, along with wondering how much you might have inadvertently revealed on your date and how likely he is to come up with three more details. You’d only promised to consider a second date; you could still say no. You just hadn’t had the faith that he’d even come up with one thing, but the fact that he has two makes you start wondering if you’ll actually have to follow through on your promise.

“Someone out there likes you.” Seulgi greets you with a sing-songy remark, giving you a meaningful look as she brushes past you to go to her desk.

You almost choke again. “Excuse me?”

“Sorry. I should say someone up there likes you,” she amends. She juts her chin towards something behind you. “They fixed the coffee machine.”

“What?” you gasp, turning around hurrying towards the beautiful, ancient machine that’s been here, in this floor of the Hybe building for nearly as long as you have and run your hands down its side, feeling the familiar heat. “I didn’t even have time to stop for coffee on the way! Oh, sweet thing, your heavenly body never ceases to amaze -”

“They’ve put out coffee, too,” interrupts Seulgi who, ever since the summer launch party, is remarkably less stressed. “I think you may have actually gotten someone other than you interested in our daily caffeine intake,” she comments, reaching for her usual green tea.

You peer into the plastic boxes and let out another low breath, hardly daring to believe it. Reaching out for a sachet, you gasp. “They gave us Caffeta sachets,” you breathe, feeling misty. “I didn’t think anyone even knew this brand. I can’t believe it.”

Seulgi raises her eyebrows. “I can. This is literally the first time I’ve ever heard of it.”

“It’s the best,” you declare. “They’re basically like teabags - do you know what caffeine addicts have to do to get good coffee? The process and the paraphernalia, not to mention the equipment -”

“Maybe they’re a new sponsor for Hybe or something,” says Seulgi thoughtfully, stirring her tea. She looks up to see you giving her a look. “What? I’ve never heard you mention this brand either.”

“I literally have four sachets in my bag at all times for emergencies -”

“Lia? Can I see you for a moment?”

You turn to see Sooya, your manager, gesture to you from inside her glass office and your heart sinks. It should be illegal for work to be presented to an employee before they’ve had their morning coffee, you think glumly as you follow her inside. She turns to you, looking the very picture of a corporate slave (pristine black pencil skirt, crisp pale pink blouse, hair long and pony-tailed, not a strand out of place, skin looking radiant) and presses a single key on her laptop.

“I’ve just sent you a file,” she says, “and it has everything about a new band Hybe’s launching this fall. They want to see a digital marketing plan by next week.”

You wait for her to continue but when she doesn’t, you frown. “Wow, don’t go overboard on the detailing,” you joke, chuckling nervously. When all she does is crack a forced yet sympathetic smile, your own fades. “Wait… is that it?” At her nod, you scoff shakily. “This - this is a joke, right?” You fumble with your phone to open the email she’s just sent you, scanning the rather scant file attached. “They want a marketing plan,” you repeat, “for this?”

“Well, yes.”

“This tells us nothing, though.” You look down at your phone again anxiously. “I mean - is it even a boy group or a girl group?”

“Girl group. But -”

“What’s their name? How many members?”

“They don’t know. Or they haven’t come up with one.” When you make a noise that’s something between a scoff and a whimper, Sooya sighs. “We’ll have to show them options. They want this group to be big overseas so they’re heavily relying on digital marketing. Look, I know this is a ridiculous ask,” she admits. “They’ve genuinely given us nothing - but apparently SM is coming out with another group in the winter so they want to launch this group before that one so they’re really pushing for a strategy. You can take Seulgi’s help if you need,” she suggests.

You try not to stare at her too accusingly. “She’s not in digital. I’ll… I’ll check with Eunji, maybe,” you mutter, looking down forlornly at your phone. “Did you say they need this next week?”

“Tuesday. Which gives you… six whole days,” she says, conveniently counting the weekend as well. “It’ll be great for your promotion,” she says after a moment and you know you’ve lost.

When you trudge out of her office, you see Seulgi’s sympathetic expression.

“You knew,” you grumble, falling into the chair beside her.

She clicks her tongue and pats your shoulder. “At least now we know why they sprung for the good coffee.”

---

It’s unlikely, but it almost seems as though Seulgi is onto something, for you consume possibly ninety percent of all the coffee provided on your floor over the next few days. You reach the office every day by eight since the creative types start their day early and you don’t manage to leave until ten pm at the very least, after which you reach home, shower, inhale some food if you can and get back to work until you fall asleep on your bed, your laptop still open next to you.

The real clincher comes on the weekend when, due to the misread of a moodboard, you’re compelled to go into the office on a Saturday. The office is open, of course, for the artists and management basically live here, but as far as the corporate employees are concerned, you’re the only one. The floor is eerily empty when you reach at half past four in the afternoon; even the lights haven’t been switched on, making it look like a workplace thriller just waiting to happen.

You locate the moodboard in the same conference room where it was left yesterday. Taking a picture of it from every angle possible, you send it to the rest of the two-member team you’ve managed to scrounge for this project before sitting in an empty chair, suddenly exhausted. It’s beyond strange being here on a weekend, especially in casual clothes. You’d given yourself a twenty minute break to take a shower and even that your team wouldn’t let you have that in peace. One frantic phone call later, you were pulling on an old, grey long-sleeved t-shirt and ancient jeans, grabbing a hoodie and being out the door while your hair still dripped.

You contemplate working from the office for the rest of the day, reasoning that it’s still less depressing than working in your room on a weekend while your roommate parties with a bunch of other friends, when your phone pings.

JK [16:34]

You have a brother. That’s three.

Your stomach does a backflip, probably because Jungkook’s the first person to talk to you today about something that isn’t work.

Me [16:34]

I never mentioned my brother. I’m sure of it.

JK [16:34]

Pretty sure you did. I don’t remember when but I think he’s younger?

Me [16:35]

Do you remember anything else about that conversation?

JK [16:35]

JK [16:36]

This is hard.

JK [16:36]

But I’m picturing a birthday party?

You frown, genuinely having no idea what he’s talking about. You don’t talk much about your brother - not for any particular reason, but you aren’t famously in touch or anything. You definitely haven’t mentioned him on a first date.

Me [16:37]

I didn’t mention my brother.

JK [16:37]

Then how do I know he’s younger than you?

Me [16:37]

You saw the picture on my board at my desk. It’s of me and Seoyeon at his birthday party.

JK [16:38]

… ohhh, yeah, you’re right. Damn it.

Me [16:38]

Yep. Valiant effort, though.

Jungkook sends you a selfie where he’s standing before a microphone with gigantic headphones on, glaring into the camera in the way that makes him look like a rodent in a Pixar animation. You lock your phone, feeling slightly lighter than before before switching on one of the office computers and logging into your work account, resigning yourself to work over the next few hours. You wallow in self-pity, picturing your promotion as the light at the end of the tunnel as you make the best of the Caffeta sachets left out.

The weather outside is spectacular; it’s cool and breezy, leaves blowing lazily in the early evening and golden sun while you slave away in an unnaturally air conditioned building, staring at a screen that makes your eyes hurt. When the sun is about to set, you hear the sounds and look outside to see rain: beautiful, picturesque rain that makes you want to hurl the printer next to you at a window just so you can feel some of it.

When you’re done - not done with work, but done - you grab your hoodie and start heading out, wondering if you can join in at your roommate’s party and drink yourself to sleep. You’re being dramatic, you know that, but, you reason, only because the situation calls for it. Reaching the lobby of the building, however, you halt.

The rain, the beautiful rain that legends write songs about, is suddenly a lot more real. Now that it’s fully dark (half past ten, you confirm), all you see is dim streetlamps reflecting off puddles, cars splashing you as you walk home - obviously, since you failed to bring your deadbeat car that would take longer to start than it would take you to walk to Hybe - and wet socks by the time you reach home.

Your stomach growls and you groan softly, wondering briefly if you should just risk it and run home. You’ll be frozen to the bone by then, sure, but at least you’ll be out of this depressing office. Your roommate has been drinking since before you left the house, so that’s not an option anyway, which leaves no one to give you a lift either.

At that thought, something stirs in your memory. You pull out your phone and stare at it before slowly going back to your WhatsApp chat - Jungkook’s chat.

Me [22:12]

Hey.

You wait for the double-tick, the thought suddenly occurring to you that even if it turns out that he is miraculously in the building on a Saturday night, too, there’s no telling when he’ll see your message, when he plans to leave or whom he’s with. When five minutes pass with no reply, you deflate in disproportionate disappointment.

It’s just rain, you tell yourself as your stomach continues sinking. Power through. You’re about to, channelling a generic indie movie character and stepping out with your phone tucked deep into your hoodie pocket when it suddenly buzzes. Heart leaping, you fish it out.

JK [22:19]

This is a pleasant surprise.

Me [22:19]

It is?

JK [22:20]

Yeah. This is the first time you’ve texted me. What’s up?

Knowing you can’t quite ambush him with a request, especially when he seems so surprised to hear from you, you bite your lip before responding.

Me [22:20]

Not much. What’s up with you?

JK [22:21]

Heading home. Been in the studio all day.

You exhale slowly, hardly daring to believe it.

Me [22:21]

Studio as in… Hybe?

JK [22:22]

That’s right. Why?

Me [22:22]

Because I kind of need a favour.

Ten minutes later, you’re in the parking lot under the building, leaning against a wall as you wait for Jungkook. There are a surprising number of cars parked for a Saturday night; apart from a Prius and a motorcycle at the end of the lot, all the cars are super shiny and fancy, meaning they belong to artists. You absently let your gaze roam over them, trying to remember which one is Jungkook’s from the night he took you out. It was a dark colour, probably black, with a heated interior and soft seats, smelling of detergent and cologne…

“Cheon Lia!”

You whip around to see a tall figure approaching you - taller than you remember. Jungkook grins as he nears you, dressed in a white t-shirt, a frayed black leather jacket, black cargo pants and combat boots. He looks so casual; you don’t know why it surprises you or why it makes you continue sneaking looks at him as you follow him.

“Wait, where are we going?” you ask, suddenly noticing that you’ve passed the entire row of cars.

“To my ride.” He raises his eyebrows as he stops next to -

“The bike?” You stop in your tracks. “This is yours?”

“Yeah. I love riding - and the weather was great when I rode here. Is it a problem?” he asks curiously.

You take a step forward, gingerly touching the sleek black engine. “Um, no. It’s…” You bite your lip, finally meeting his gaze. “It’s a really sexy bike,” you admit.

Jungkook grins proudly as he tosses his bangs out of his eyes, passing you a helmet. “Here. I have an extra.” He swings one leg over and straddles the bike, putting on his own helmet and sliding up the visor. “I know it’s not ideal and we might still get a bit wet, but…” He shrugs apologetically but you shake your head.

“No way, this is great,” you tell him, meaning it. “Better than what I was planning to do anyway. Walk,” you add when he looks at you questioningly. “Or run, more like.”

“You were going to run?” He looks at you disbelievingly. “Are you serious? And - come here, you’re wearing it wrong…” He gently pulls you closer by the forearm to tighten the buckle of your helmet under your chin. You tilt your head up slightly and stay still, noticing how his eyebrows furrow as he concentrates. You’re suddenly reminded of how you’d fixed his tie at the party and you bite your lip.

“Alright,” he says once he’s done. “Hop on.”

You grab his shoulder for support as you hoist yourself up to sit behind him, noticing once again how he seems to be built like a wall. Before you can help yourself, you wonder if he also feels like one. “Jungkook?” you lean forward over his shoulder. “Thank you for this.”

You can hear his grin. “Just hold on, alright? The rain can be… distracting.”

Hesitating for a fraction of a second, you wrap your arms around his torso. Yep. Just like a wall. A warm, hard, cologne-wearing wall.

---

“Careful!” Jungkook’s hand appears out of nowhere and grabs your forearm, preventing you from falling on the slippery pavement.

“I’m okay,” you gasp, taking more careful steps as you follow him up the steps and into the warmth of the pub - if you can call it that. It’s too small and not quite as busy or loud, but it is open and looks relatively clean. Moreover, it offers food and for now, it’s the equivalent of a five star.

“Do you want to get a table or something?” he asks, coming to stand by your side. “I’m just going to go check if the bike is parked properly.”

You nod, watching him leave. The entire place has maybe ten tables in total, mostly with folding chairs and rickety tables. It’s also relatively empty; given the time, you’re not surprised. The good thing about it, apart from the food, is that it doesn’t at all look like a place Jungkook will get recognised and once the rain started lashing down in torrents mid-ride, you knew you had to stop before he drove you both into a tree.

You head to one of the tables in the back that has slightly bigger armchairs facing each other and is situated next to a large window. Sinking into one of the chairs, you peel off your wet hoodie and drape it on the back, placing your helmet down. You’re finger-combing your tangled hair when you see Jungkook return, looking tall and broad next to the small furniture. When he spots you, his frown turns into a smile, and your stomach does another backflip.

“Everything okay?” you ask him when he reaches, taking a seat opposite you.

“Yeah. The rain is relentless, though,” he remarks, pointing at the window where the drops hit the glass with force. You notice then that he’s even wetter than he was before he left to park the bike. Taking off his jacket and throwing it on the back of his own chair, he shakes his wet hair like a dog. “Sorry,” he chuckles, noticing you flinch when some of the drops land on you. He leans back with a sigh, the white t-shirt also remarkably more transparent than before he left.

That’s alright, you want to say but for some reason the words don’t leave your mouth. “Can we get food, please?” you ask instead, not caring how whiny you sound. “Since we’re waiting out the rain anyway?”

“Of course,” he scoffs, already gesturing to the waitress. “Why do you think I agreed to stop? Uh, one fries, one Korean fried chicken and…” He turns to you. “What about you?”

You add shrimp tempura to the order and the waitress nods before leaving. You turn to Jungkook, who’s running his fingers through his wet hair. It’s vaguely distracting; your toes curl in your shoes as your gaze traces his tattoo sleeve, all the way from his wrist to his biceps after which it disappears under his sleeve. Everything about it is just…

“Big,” you murmur, realising only a moment later that you’ve said it out loud. When he looks up questioningly, you shake your head. “I just meant… your tattoos. They’re… very big.”

“Oh.” He twists his arm to look at it, as though observing this for the first time. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, why not?”

He shrugs. “It wasn’t super approved of in service. I walked around a lot in full sleeves.”

You wince. “Do they have a problem with tattoos? My brother has them - he never mentioned anything.”

“Well… no. It’s not like they can ask us to get rid of them. I did have to take off the piercings, though.” He points to his face and you notice the lip ring and eyebrow stud, and you wonder how you could’ve missed them.

“You weren’t wearing that at the party, were you?”

He makes a face. “Too formal, apparently,” he mutters. “But I’m not taking them off for a second for the rest of this comeback,” he says stubbornly.

You can’t help but grin. “Good for you. And the tattoos are part of your brand anyway now…”

He grins back. “Do you have any?” he asks as the waitress arrives, placing three plates in between you two.

“I have five,” you confess, reaching for a hot fry and groaning in pleasure. “Damn, that’s the stuff.”

“Five?” Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up and he smiles in surprise, reaching for a piece of chicken. “Oh, that’s what I saw on your ankle when you got into my car. I thought it was an anklet or something. Wait, that’s three!”

You jump a bit, startled, as he chokes for a moment, wordlessly pumping his fist in the air as he coughs. “Jesus, Jungkook,” you mutter in exasperation, sliding his glass of water towards him. He grabs it and downs at least half of it before emerging, rosy-cheeked and grinning.

“That’s three,” he repeats. “You don’t like seafood, you like Harry Styles and you have a tattoo on your ankle,” he counts happily, giggling when you roll your eyes in grudging agreement. “Where are the other four, though?”

“If you couldn’t see them when I was in that dress, they’re probably in places I can’t show you just yet,” you quip, raising an eyebrow when he grins again.

“I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait,” he answers easily, even though you notice the tips of his ears reddening. “You want the last piece of chicken?” he asks, pointing to the plate.

“Go for it.”

Jungkook frowns, as though this response is out of syllabus. “Why? You let me have the last quiche that night, too. You can have it.”

“Jungkook,” you say slowly. “Just eat the damn chicken.” You watch him as he suspiciously picks it up and, pausing dramatically for a moment, tosses it in his mouth. “Good boy.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles through a mouthful of chicken. “It’s just weird. At the dorm we usually fight over every last piece so if someone’s offering you food… well, it usually means they’ve messed with it first.”

You chuckle. “Nah. I like feeding people,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “That sounds weird. I mean… I don’t know, I like it when people eat and are full and happy. I like the actual cooking part too but when I don’t have the time…” You hold up the last big fry, offering it to him, “... this is fine, too.”

He stares at you for a moment before silently reaching forward and accepting the fry. You’re glad he doesn’t fight you on it, but when his eyes don’t leave you, you frown. “What?”

“What? Nothing. Just…” He ducks his head and dips the fry into ketchup before popping it into his mouth, “... will you marry me?”

You scoff, throwing a tiny fry at him which he dodges and catches gracefully in his mouth. “You wish, Jeon.”

He smirks but doesn’t say anything else as both of you polish off all three plates and order bowls of ramen. “There’s just something about hot and soupy ramen when it’s raining,” says Jungkook wistfully, leaning back and looking out the window at the rain.

You regard him lazily, in a better mood now that you’ve been fed. “I thought you were on some monster diet for your comeback?”

“I am. Which is why today’s my cheat day. Or I’ve made it my cheat day, anyway,” he amends, shrugging, but you think he looks a little guilty.

“You can burn it off tomorrow,” you suggest lightly, hoping to reassure him a bit but also not wanting to come across as preachy. He simply nods in answer, not looking away from the window. It feels strange that he isn’t joking around, suddenly seeming uncharacteristically serious. You suddenly want to get him talking again. “How’s the comeback coming along?” you ask him after a moment.

“Not bad. It’s nice to be back in the studio,” he adds, and you’re glad to see a smile flit across his face. “I’m just worried about performing. Eventually.”

You frown. “Do you still get nervous about performing? After all these years?”

But he shakes his head. “No, not that…” He bites his lip, right next to the ring. You’re filled with the sudden urge to touch it. “It’s been two years since we left,” he confesses, finally turning to you and words tumbling out faster. “What if we don’t have any fans left? What if no one turns up?”

You’re a bit taken aback; you didn’t expect him to reveal all his deep, dark fears to you in a tiny pub. “Um…” You don’t know him that well, is the trouble. “Obviously I can’t relate… but as a person in the marketing department who was working on your comeback content until earlier this week, it doesn’t look like you’ve lost any fans. In fact, you may have gained a bunch.”

He’s hanging onto your every word, you realise, with his wide eyes and hopeful expression. At your statement, he gives you a grin, albeit a bit unsurely, but it makes you glad all the same. Your gazes linger for a moment on each other and just as it starts getting too long, the waitress brings you your steaming bowls of ramen.

Jungkook predictably dives for it without a second thought, frowning as he moans in pleasure, chopsticks gliding through the food with precision. You watch him for a few seconds, mildly fascinated, before attacking your own bowl.

“So, I have a question,” he states a little while later, once you’re both mostly done with your food, “and bear in mind that I’m just curious.” He waits for you to nod in agreement before continuing. “Why are you so determined not to go out with me?”

You frown. “I’m not determined to do anything. And I haven’t said no yet,” you remind him.

“Yeah, I know, but…” He trails off but you think you know what he means. You look down at your lap, trying not to feel guilty while he searches for the words. “It’s a game right now - and don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a challenge. And if you’re genuinely not into me, that’s fine, too. We can just be friends. I’m just... I don’t know. Curious.”

You shrug uneasily. “I told you last time. I work for Hybe and you work for Hybe - it can get really messy.”

Jungkook stares at you for a few seconds, a hint of amusement on his face. “You remember the friend who convinced me to ask you out? Who said he recognised you from Hybe?” When you nod, he chuckles, mostly to himself. “Well, it turns out he recognised you because he used to date your friend Seulgi.”

Silence. Your brain freezes before going into overdrive, sorting through the memories at the speed of light. “Wait…” You frown deeply, sitting forward. “Seokjin told you to ask me out?”

“He can be quite persuasive,” comments Jungkook, sitting back with a satisfied smile. “But, yeah, Seokjin did. They dated ages ago apparently, before we all enlisted.”

You nod absently, for he’s right. You and Seulgi weren’t close then; she’d only just moved to your floor from the sales team and while you’d started working together, she hadn’t given you any details about her personal life until one evening, when your car wouldn’t start and it was getting late, she told you her boyfriend could give you a ride on their way to his apartment. It had taken you an embarrassing amount of time after you entered the car to realise who the person driving was. Kim Seokjin, in all his beauty and humour, was incredibly sweet to you, though - and, apparently, remembered you.

“Oh, God, that’s right,” you mutter, briefly reliving that night.

“Yeah. A person from your team dated a person from my band - and nothing happened,” he declares. “And I know you know that, so this coworkers reason you’re giving me…” He looks at you knowingly. “It’s not the real reason.”

“And you want the real reason,” you finish wryly, sighing.

He shrugs. “You don’t owe me an explanation. I was just wondering.”

You watch him as he fishes a small piece of meat from his mostly empty ramen bowl. “Do you remember what you told me that evening?”

Jungkook looks up. “Is this a trick question? Because the problem was literally that I didn’t say a single word to you.”

“Not on our date. After that, in the copy room.” When he simply cocks his head, frowning and looking like a child, you sigh, wondering if you’re really about to bring this up. “You told me your friend told you to ask me out so it would help you get over this other girl.” You continue watching him as the realisation dawns on him. You can tell he doesn’t quite understand the problem, but he’s at least identified the general area.

“Oh.”

“And, you know… far be it from me to not want to be your rebound -” You find yourself unable to avoid getting that in “- but I just… I have a very busy job and a tiny two-bedroom apartment I share with a roommate because I can’t afford the rent by myself and student loans… and I just don’t have the bandwidth for relationship drama.” It’s not the half of it but it’s all you’re willing to divulge to him right now.

There’s almost a minute of heavy silence as Jungkook presumably processes this. You sneak a glance at him; he’s staring at his lap, bangs falling on his forehead as he furrows his brow, tongue sticking out inside his cheek. Then, finally, he takes a deep breath.

“Lia, I’m - I’m sorry. I guess I should’ve been more upfront with you.” He pauses, looking thoughtful. “I also should’ve explained better. Look, I wasn’t mad that night because I liked someone else. I was mad because Seokjin got involved and kept pressuring me to get over her when I already was. Believe me, there’s nothing like a year and a half in service to give you some perspective,” he adds. “I’m serious, though. If that’s what you’re worried about… you don’t need to be. That’s over.”

You consider this. “Tell me something about her.”

His smile fades. “Why is that something we have to do?”

“Just.” When he simply continues to look bewildered, you roll your eyes. “Come on, it doesn’t have to be anything deep. Just any one detail, so I can think of her as a real person.”

“Um…” He shrugs wildly. “She likes video games.”

Huh. He’s right; you don’t know what you accomplished with this. In fact, you realise you can never actively tell him that you like video games as well, just in case he thinks you’re saying it because of this. Thankfully, the waitress comes back then, asking you both if you want a drink. For a moment you consider a beer but then quickly switch to hot chocolate. After a lingering look at you, Jungkook asks for the same.

“Alright, my turn,” you begin, clearing your throat. “Why are you so determined to get me to go out with you?”

Jungkook gives you a puzzled look. “Well, because I -” He breaks off and swallows, the apples of his cheeks reddening slightly.

You plough on, though, ignoring it. “I mean, I have to be honest. It was one bad date but we’re over it. We’re moving on but the fact that you asked me out again?” You bite your lip. “It feels a bit like a consolation date. Like a pity date.”

His jaw drops. “A pity date? That’s…” He seems to be lost for words. “Is - is that why you think I’m here?” He sounds more fearful than annoyed and his expression makes your heart clench unexpectedly.

“No, I didn’t - I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” you stutter, not knowing what just happened. “It’s kind of sweet in a way? That you want to make up for it? But you have to admit, it’s - it’s kind of weird. I mean, you don’t actually know me well enough to want a second date this badly for any other reason.”

Jungkook says nothing, simply frowning at you from across the table. It’s something like a glare, but he looks more annoyed with himself than you. “I saw you tip the waiter,” he says eventually, looking sullen. “The waiter, the one who spilled the drink on you. Most people would’ve got him fired. But you tipped him.”

You have to look away because his gaze is so intense. “He probably got in trouble anyway,” you mutter. “I didn’t know you saw that.”

He shrugs at his lap, playing with a loose thread at the end of his t-shirt and still looking moody. With his stature, not to mention the tattoos and piercings, he looks like a pouting villain on that silly American show you and your friends used to watch, about that comic. It makes you want to wrap him in a hug. “And you gave me the last piece of chicken and snuck out to get food for your friend Jieun. You’re a nice person. You’re hardworking - and by that I mean you’re always working,” he clarifies, rolling his eyes. “And you’re kind of funny when you’re not being mean,” he adds snarkily.

You bite your lip, trying really hard to stop the smile from forming on your face. But you give up when he continues looking anywhere but at you, his huge eyes taking away any and all edge he thinks he has. “Alright, point taken,” you concede softly, just wanting him to look at you again. When he nods sarcastically, still not looking at you, you huff in amusement. “Come on, are you really sulking?”

“No.”

“Look at your face, Jeon. What would your fans say if they saw the famous golden maknae in a bad mood because some girl who works with him accused him of offering her a pity date?”

“They’d say Oh, Jungkook oppa, I’ll go on that date with you,” he says immediately, putting on a fake high voice. “And I won’t even make fun of you when you tell me you like me because I think you’re cute when you’re nervous.”

You snort, bursting into laughter as the waitress brings your hot chocolate. “Firstly, oppa? I think that answers your question all in itself.”

He gives you an unimpressed look. “Please. I know I made that noona joke at the party but I couldn’t give a shit about your age. In fact, I don’t even think you give a shit about your age.”

Unable to come up with a retort to this rather true statement, you simply shrug and take a sip of your hot chocolate, sighing. “I think you’re cute, too,” you admit casually after a moment, keeping your eyes on the creamy chocolate.

“Liar,” he accuses, but seems to be in a slightly better mood now that he has a sip of sugar in his system. “So, anyway. You tipped the waiter. That’s the answer.”

“I tipped the waiter,” you murmur thoughtfully. Then something occurs to you. “Hey, that’s four, by the way.”

“What? Oh. Yeah, it is,” he chuckles softly, but he seems remarkably less excited than when he got the third. “But honestly, I’m just afraid if I don’t get this date, I’ll never get my hoodie back.”

You groan dramatically and roll your eyes as he laughs, making your stomach flip at the sight of him finally smiling. “You know what? When you drop me back to my apartment now, I will personally hand it back to you,” you promise. “Oh, God, unless there’s a stupid party going on right now.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Your roommate’s having a party?”

“Always is,” you groan, shaking your head. “I’d say I disapprove, but I’m mostly just jealous of people who can party on Saturdays.”

“Is that something you enjoy? Partying?” He bounces his shoulders to invisible beats, like he’s at a club.

You giggle at the sight. “Party, play FIFA. Same thing.” You internally cringe when you realise what you’ve said and scramble to cover it up. “Or even a second date. You never know,” you add teasingly.

He nods thoughtfully. “Or third date, actually. Technically, you can count this as a second date,” he informs you, gesturing to the table full of empty plates between you. “Didn’t kill you, right?”

You scoff. “This is not a date.”

“What do you mean? We’re at a restaurant - kind of. We shared a meal. We’re having a beverage,” he points out, tapping his mug knowingly.

“We didn’t - we ended up sharing a meal,” you correct him. “What we’re doing is waiting for the rain to stop.”

“The rain stopped thirty minutes ago.”

You can feel all vestiges of expression leave your face as you whip your head to look out the window next to you, heart thudding as you realise he’s right. “I - when did you realise?”

Jungkook smirks, making his lip ring glint in the dim light and your toes curl inside your shoes. Taking another sip of his hot chocolate, he pretends to think. “Somewhere around the time you said you like feeding me because I look full and happy.”

“That is not what I said,” you say forcefully, feeling your cheeks burn. “But I guess this is as good a time as any to head out, right?” Before he can protest, you stand up. “I’m going to go pay. Finish your hot chocolate,” you tell him as he looks up at you with his big eyes, about to stand up as well. At the last moment, you ruffle his hair sarcastically before walking away.

“We should’ve split the check,” he says when you return a couple of minutes later, reaching for your hoodie.

“You’re only here because I asked you for a favour,” you remind him. “I owe you.”

Jungkook pauses for a moment before nodding, making no move to get up. “That’s fair. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, come on, put on your jacket. Let’s go.”

“I’m not done with my drink yet.”

You peer into his mug. “Yes, you are. There’s only dregs left at the bottom.”

“That’s the chocolate,” he says seriously. “It’s the best part of the -”

“Well, then finish it quickly, we need to -”

“No, it’s meant to be enjoyed slowly, with a spoon and -”

But when you give him a look, he rolls his eyes and heaves a big sigh before reaching for a spoon and scooping up the remains of his drink.

“Thank you,” you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him up, leading him out of the pub with his jacket in his other hand.

“You are so bossy, you know that?” he grumbles half-heartedly as you step outside, the chilly breeze hitting your face.

“Don’t pretend you don’t kind of like it.” You only intend to quip but in the light from the lone street lamp outside, you see his ears redden again and you feel a light, slow burn in your abdomen that you haven’t felt in a long time. You watch him a bit shamelessly as he throws on his leather jacket again and climbs the bike before donning his helmet.

“Need some help with that?” he asks, pointing to the one in your hand.

“No, it’s -” You begin automatically before pausing. “Yeah. Sure.” You walk up to him and place it on your head, standing still as he adjusts the buckle, only his eyes visible under the visor. You imagine the lip ring slightly lower and, just like a while back, feel the need to touch it.

“Alright, you’re good,” he says after a few seconds, patting the top of your helmet lightly. You look up at him, once again registering how tall he is, and his comment about how age means nothing suddenly seems truer than ever.

“Thanks,” you murmur, stepping aside and going to climb up behind him. You lean forward to show him the map on your phone, pointing to the important turns on the ten minute journey to your apartment, smelling his faint cologne as he turns slightly to look.

You hold onto him once again as he takes off, the streets still wet and the winds still cool, but with no rain drenching you. You’re actually able to enjoy the ride this time, feeling the breeze through your tangled hair, resting your chin lightly against Jungkook’s shoulder and allowing yourself to close your eyes now that you’re certain he doesn’t have visibility issues. He’s actually built like a wall, you think again, feeling his back flex against your chest every time he takes a turn.

“Do you want to take a slight detour?” he asks, turning his head very slightly, voice cutting through the wind like music.

“Yes,” you reply, eyes still closed. Your arms tighten around him as he goes straight instead of left, eventually reaching the main road. Given the time, the streets are mostly empty and the bike zooms through, slightly faster than before. I love riding, he’d said to you earlier this evening although it seems like ages ago. If someone had told you then that you’d be straddling his sexy bike behind him, arms wrapped around his steady torso so you could feel every ridge of lean muscle underneath his t-shirt, or how your knees would be brushing his thigh, your pelvis pressed against his hips - and that you liked it… well, you would’ve been hard pressed to believe it.

You’re not sure how much longer he continues riding at the same speed. At one point you pull away from him a bit, hands resting lightly on his waist, so you can feel the wind better. When he takes a sudden turn, your eyes snap open as you’re jerked forward, your arms automatically going around him again and you realise he’s taking you home. An uncomfortable feeling of disappointment settles in your stomach as you approach your apartment.

“It’s just up here,” you tell him as he slows down, before coming to a complete halt in front of a three-storey building. Your eyes go directly to the second floor as you get off and you groan softly when you see the flashing red and blue lights, realising the stupid party is still going on.

Jungkook’s eyes follow yours as he takes off his helmet, running a hand through his black hair before it falls gracefully over his forehead. “Party still happening?” he asks, sounding part amused and part sympathetic.

“Yeah,” you mutter, taking off your own helmet and knowing that the rain has probably made it wavy. Lightly fluffing it out, you hand the helmet back to him. “It’s okay, though. The music doesn’t seem that loud so I can probably get some sleep.”

He nods, climbing off as well and leaning back against the bike. He looks… hot, you acknowledge. You can’t not, especially after that bike ride. He looks winded, but in a good way. Cheeks rosy, hair ruffled, expression slightly dazed - he looks beautiful.

You break the silence. “Thanks for the ride. Really. I appreciate it.”

“I had fun,” he says, shrugging.

“Me, too,” you reply honestly, smiling up at him. He smiles back and the movement makes the lip ring glint again. Maybe it’s the tiredness, maybe it’s the bike ride that took your breath away, but you finally throw caution to the wind and reach up to touch the lip ring with your thumb.

He stays still, a slight frown creasing his forehead as he watches you. “Doesn’t this get in the way?” you ask, dropping your hand back to your side.

The frown remains for a moment before he smirks. “In the way of what?” he asks innocently.

Your cheeks heat up and you try to suppress a smile. “Okay, that’s a no,” you guess, looking away as he chuckles. You expect him to crack a joke about how you might find out soon enough but when he doesn’t, you look up at him in mild curiosity to see him still looking down at you, gaze intense as it falls slowly to your mouth before snapping back up. “Any plans for tomorrow?” you ask quickly.

“Um, studio,” is all he says. “Practice and then recording.”

“On a Sunday?” you ask, even though you know well enough that weekends mean nothing to artists.

“Yeah,” he answers, shoving his hands into his pockets. “For the next couple of weeks, at least.”

“You can’t take a day off?”

He chuckles, as though the idea is unheard of. “I’m supposed to meet Suga hyung tomorrow. He doesn’t believe in cancelling studio appointments on short notice.”

“Glad I texted you in time today, I guess.” You raise your eyebrows teasingly and he smiles, biting his lip. It makes your toes curl in your shoes again, and he suddenly feels taller.

Pressing his hands deeper into his pockets and looking down at the ground, he takes a deep breath. “So, um, do you think -”

“Lia!”

Jungkook’s head snaps up a fraction of a second before yours whips around to see the source of the voice.

“Hey, you were gone for a while,” he comments, patting your shoulder. “Everyone was asking about you.” He looks up then to see Jungkook and nods politely before sticking out a hand. “Hey, man.”

You turn to see Jungkook nod automatically before looking down at you. “Jungkook, this is Dal. My roommate.” Next to you, Dal frowns and Jungkook seems to remember then that he hasn’t moved a muscle.

“Hey,” he replies finally, shaking Dal’s hand. You notice they’re of the same height.

Turning to you, Dal points towards the party. “I’m just going across the street to stock up on mixers. Anything you want?”

“Oh, no,” you answer, shaking your head. “It’s been a long day. I’m just going to crash.”

Dal frowns. “You’re still on for tomorrow, right? Suho already dropped out.”

“I’m in, for sure.”

“Cool.” With a good-natured smile, he looks up at Jungkook. “You should join, too, if you can. You play basketball, right?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows, like he wasn’t expecting to be spoken to at all. Before he can open his mouth, you jump in. “Oh, Jungkook is… he’s really busy tomorrow. I don’t know if he wants to -”

“No, I’m in,” interrupts Jungkook, looking from you to Dal and nodding. “Sounds fun.”

“Great,” says Dal, smiling and probably meaning it. “We’ll have even teams now. Alright, I’ll be back in a bit,” he tells you before nodding to Jungkook. “See you tomorrow, mate.” As he jogs away, you turn to look slowly to look at Jungkook.

“You know, you really don’t have to come,” you assure him. “I know you’re busy with your comeback and stuff.”

“No, I’ll be there,” he says, still watching Dal as he disappears down the street before turning back to you. “So that’s your roommate.”

“Yeah,” you answer slowly, having an inkling of where this is going. “I thought you had to go to the studio tomorrow. What happened to ‘Suga hyung doesn’t believe in cancelling studio appointments’?”

“I’ll go after the - the game? Match?” he guesses, looking uncertain. “Anyway, he likes basketball, too; he’ll understand. And how come you’re going? Don’t you have a huge presentation to finish?”

You’d only mentioned it in passing so you’re surprised he remembers. “I do. But I never miss basketball Sundays. Ever. For anything.”

Jungkook nods, looking impressed… and something else. “Great. I won’t either.” He keeps looking at you, as though daring you to discourage him again. When you simply fold your arms across your chest and nod in resignation, he takes a deep breath. “So… what does he do? Dal?” he clarifies when you raise your eyebrows.

“Oh. He’s… he’s a physical trainer,” you reply, somewhat anticipating his reaction when he nods stiffly and - you’re not sure if you’re imagining this - flexes his arms and chest slightly. “Listen, seriously, Jungkook. Are you sure you want to come?”

“Yes,” he repeats. “Dal invited me, didn’t he? I’m good at sports. It’s all good.”

No, it isn’t. But he’s right when he says he’s good at sports. In fact, from what you’ve heard, he’s good at most things. You tilt your head to the side. You also remember something else, about a girl who likes video games and your heart twists unexpectedly. “Okay,” you say finally, just as you notice Dal returning, a plastic bag in his hands. Jungkook turns around as well and you hear him exhale through his nose.

“Oh, you’re still here,” remarks Dal, reaching you both and smiling. “I’m heading up,” he tells you. “Are you coming?”

“Uh… yeah.” You look up at Jungkook, suddenly wishing Dal had waited a few more minutes before returning, or that he’d leave now. But for a moment both men look expectantly at you, albeit for different reasons, until Jungkook breaks the silence.

“I should head out, too,” he says, but looking only at you as you nod.

“Cool. Will we see you tomorrow?” Dal asks and you wince internally at how pronounced the word we sounds.

Jungkook seems to have picked up on it, too. “Absolutely. Text me the address,” he says, once again speaking only to you as he takes a step back towards his bike. Then, casually, as though he’s done it a million times before, he lowers his head and presses a kiss to your cheek. “Goodnight,” he says easily to you and Dal, climbing onto his bike and backing it onto the street before riding away.

---

“I’m going to ask you one more time: are you sure?”

“Yes, my God. Next left?”

“Yeah, onto the dirt road.” You press the phone to your ear and turn around when you hear the smooth sound of a car engine. The same black Hyundai that picked you for a date months ago appears in view, turning into the makeshift parking space and stopping next to Dal’s silver Renault. You bring your phone down and walk towards the car, feeling your stomach do a small backflip when the driver’s door opens and a familiar figure steps out.

“How was the drive?” you ask when you reach him, motioning for him to follow you onto the court.

“Short,” is all he says, depositing his car keys and cell phone with the others next to the water bottles and extra basketball. “Should we stretch?”

You nod, following his lead as he grabs his elbow behind his head, warming up his shoulders and back. You begin stretching your calves as the others in your group trudge in as well, a mix of your and Dal’s mutual friends, his work friends whom you barely know, Jungkook, and another girl you’ve never seen before. You’re eight in total; everyone greets each other as they spread out on the court, the breeze cool and light. The sun is a dark orange, about thirty minutes away from setting so it’s only a matter of time before the flood lights switch on.

“How long have you been coming here?” Jungkook asks you when you’re both on the ground, reaching forward and over to touch your toes. His legs look long and muscular under his loose black shorts, arms just like you remember them from last night under a near-identical white t-shirt. Your eyes linger on his tattoo sleeve before you force yourself to meet his gaze.

“A couple of years,” you answer, stretching forward. Sitting up, you tug your tank top slightly higher to cover your cleavage and look up to see Jungkook quickly turn away as well. “We, uh… I mean, I haven’t played a lot since high school so this is a good way to get back.”

At that moment, Dal comes over, in loose black shorts like Jungkook’s and a sleeveless Kobe jersey. His arms are toned and bulky as ever, but with the amount of time you’ve known him for, you’re desensitized to it. “Lee-lee,” he says by way of greeting, clapping you on the back and using your oldest nickname. “Same team as last time? You, me, Baekhyun, Donghyuk?”

“Oh -” You turn uncertainly in Jungkook’s direction. “Since Jungkook's new, I was going to ask him, actually, if he wanted to be in the same -”

“No, no, that’s alright,” interrupts Jungkook, shaking his head. "You should stay in your team. I'm good with anyone."

"Sounds good," says Dal, motioning for him to get up. "Come on, I'll introduce you to them.” He smiles good-naturedly as Jungkook gets to his feet, dusting himself off.

“Who’s the new girl, by the way?” you ask quickly, the thought suddenly occurring to you that Jungkook might be recognised. None of the people you know here really listen to pop music much, let alone be able to identify idols in a casual setting, but you feel yourself worrying anyway.

“- back in the - oh, that’s Baekhyun’s new girlfriend. Or something,” answers Dal, turning back to you momentarily as both men walk away. “You should meet her, too. And - chill. She seems fine so far.”

Your eyes dart to Jungkook who seems to understand what’s on your mind. But he doesn’t comment on it. “Yeah, don’t worry, Lee-lee,” he says simply, giving you a rather nonchalant smile.

“I’m not worrying,” you mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes as you scramble to your feet and follow them. After a brief round of introductions, everyone spreads out into their sides of the court, deciding within their teams which four positions to assign. As you and Jungkook walk to the middle of the court, you lean up to him once more. “Are you good?”

He frowns mildly, looking down at you. “Yeah. Why?”

You don’t answer. You feel somewhat responsible for him, having brought him here, even as you acknowledge that Dal was the one that invited him and he accepted of his own free will. “Just… watch out for Donghyuk, alright? He can get pretty aggressive with the ball.”

Jungkook looks almost amused at your tone. You think he’s about to make a joke, probably adding a Lee-lee at the end of it for shits and giggles, but he simply touches your shoulder. “Relax,” he says, his face softening slightly. “I’ll be okay.”

You nod, not knowing what else to say as you separate. When you turn around in your position to face the other team, your eyes automatically go to Jungkook. He might be right; he certainly looks like he belongs here. Tall, fit and braced in position, you have to admit he looks pretty fantastic. Even when Baekhyun and his girlfriend Nari, on opposite teams, jump for the ball and the game begins, you spot Jungkook jogging to presumably cover another one of his teamates, looking like a natural athlete on the court.

That is, until he gets the ball in his hands. Somehow, somewhere, the ball gets passed to him and he seems to catch it as a reflex before his eyes go wide at the realisation that he has to make the next move. Basketball is a fast, blink-and-you-miss-it kind of game, though, so by the time Jungkook unfreezes and begins dribbling the ball, Donghyuk has already sprinted and smoothly gained control of it, giving it a couple of expert dribbles before shooting a clean three-pointer.

Dal and Baekhyun cheer and you know you should, too, but all you can see is Jungkook’s guilty expression as he apologetically shakes his head at his teammates. It sends a pang through your heart, how lost he looks - and it only gets worse from then on. As the game progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that while Jungkook probably is the golden maknae and good at most things, basketball isn’t one of them. In fact, when Nari from the other team corners and asks you in a low voice if it’s his first time, you grudgingly have to tell her that yes, it is.

As the sky darkens, so does the game. Your group isn’t a rough one in general; you all play for fun, getting competitive only in a friendly, good-natured way. However, you all are competitive. The trouble is, so is Jungkook, apparently. His frustration with himself is clearly visible and there’s more than one moment during the game when you consider calling a time-out and inventing an excuse for you both to leave so that the teams remain even.

But you know it won’t work. Being rubbish at something seems to only spur him on, as though determined to figure the game out. You wince every time he bangs into someone and when he trips and falls, taking his teammate Jiwon down with him while Dal gracefully performs a layup behind them, Baekhyun has to actively grab your arm to stop you from running over to him. As for you, you make it your mission to tackle everyone on the opposing team but him, just not finding the heart to kick him while he’s down.

When the game starts to reach its conclusion, you sigh internally in relief, panting a little as you jog back to your position. You tighten your ponytail as your eyes search for Jungkook, who’s also starting to look rather sick of this game but determined to see it through. He tosses his hair out of his eyes and his eyebrow stud glints when the light catches it. Even now, he looks gorgeous.

As though he can hear you, his eyes dart to yours and you see a small smile start to form on his face. You’re about to return it when you see Donghyuk beginning the game from the corner of your eye - heading straight in Jungkook’s direction. Your eyes widen in warning a second before he smiles.

---

“Ready to go?” Dal zips up his jacket and turns expectantly to you.

In answer, you look towards the lone figure sitting on the outer ledge of the court, hunched over his knees as he holds his hand to his face. “I’ll just be a few more minutes,” you tell Dal, who nods in understanding. “Thanks for the ice pack.”

“No problem. He seems like a nice guy.” Dal gives you a knowing look. “I’ll wait in my car.”

“Okay. And… tell Donghyuk to take it a bit easy maybe?” you suggest, trying and failing to keep the annoyance out of your voice.

“Oh, yeah, because that’s worked so well in the past.” Rolling his eyes, Dal walks away as you make your way over to Jungkook.

When you reach him, you stand before him for a moment before sinking to your knees, keeping them hovering above the ground. “Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“‘M fine,” he mutters, voice slightly muffled by the ice pack he’s holding to his nose with his tattooed hand. You scan his face quickly; there’s nothing visibly wrong but your guilt goes much deeper than an injury.

“Jungkook.” You pause when he deliberately doesn’t meet your eyes. “Dal is just my roommate. We’ve been friends since high school.”

He stiffens at your words, gaze freezing somewhere around your shoulder. “Why are you telling me this?” he asks after a moment.

You can’t help but roll your eyes slightly at this, not dignifying his question with an answer, partly because it’s ridiculous and partly because you don’t know what to say to convince him how unfounded his jealousy is. Reaching up, you gently brush his sweaty bangs off his forehead. “You can’t play basketball,” you sigh.

Jungkook scoffs before wincing in pain. “No shit. Did the ball I took to the face give you a hint?”

“No, I mean…” Confession time. “I know you can’t play basketball. You told me so on our date.” When he finally looks at you, frowning in surprise, you nod. “I think it was the only thing you told me about yourself that night.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. I’d watched Remember The Titans that day and when I asked if you’d seen it, you said, “What kind of a loser watches a movie about a sport he doesn’t play?””

He groans. “God, I was a dick,” he mutters, shaking his head.

You shrug. “Yeah, well… today I was a dick.” When he doesn’t respond, you sigh again. “Seriously, though, Jungkook. Why did you insist on coming today?”

He swallows and his gaze darts towards something behind you before looking away. You don’t have to turn to know what he’s looking at, for behind you is the parking lot with a silver Renault in it, and you had an inkling it would come to this ever since Dal showed up outside your apartment last night.

“I’m good at most sports,” he says eventually, and you can hear the underlying frustration at the fact that he wasn’t today. “Didn’t know I’d break my face in this one.”

You give him a small smile, reaching up to gently move the ice pack away from his skin. “Don’t worry. It’s not bleeding and it doesn’t look like anything is broken so I think you’ll be fine.”

There’s a few moments where neither of you speak. Then Jungkook bites his lip. “What about you? Why didn’t you say anything when you knew I couldn’t play?”

It’s your turn to look away guiltily. “I wanted to see if you’d come,” you confess, looking at the ground. “And... I like video games, too, I guess.” You wait for him to respond to that but he doesn’t, and you think he understands, that jealousy - or insecurity - works both ways and if anything, you wanted to see if you were worth the challenge. Eventually you look up at him, turning his face gently by the chin and inspecting it. “You should go to the hospital, though.”

His eyes widen. “You just said everything’s fine!”

“I said there’s no blood and it doesn’t look like anything is broken,” you correct him. “But you still need to get it checked out. The doctor will give you some anaesthesia and your pain will -”

“Oh, hell no. I don’t like needles.”

You squint in disbelief. “You have, like, a hundred tattoos.”

“That’s different. I don’t like medical needles.”

“Fine. Power through the pain, then. But you need an X-ray or an MRI to make sure there’s nothing -”

“No, I don’t - I don’t like those machines.”

You exhale in exasperation. “You just got back from the army. Are you really afraid of an MRI machine?”

“I’m not afraid,” he protests, frowning stubbornly. “They’re just claustrophobic.”

“Well, you know what? You may not have a choice,” you half-snap, eyes flickering towards the figure approaching behind him, “because I think… I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s… wait, that’s Suga, right?”

Jungkook turns to see his band member, dressed in jeans and a sweater and stopping tactfully some distance away when he sees you two, and nods. “Yeah, I told him I’d be here… and to come pick me up if I wasn’t back by seven.”

“What, did you think we were going to murder you or something?”

“If Donghyuk had his way, probably.” He points to his face. “I wasn’t totally off base.”

“Wow, that’s a - that’s a great way to get your friends to hate me,” you inform him, feeling your stomach churn.

But Jungkook simply shakes his head. "You play basketball. He'd really like you. Plus, he's got that whole sarcastic thing going, too, like you."

You grin. "Good. It means he'll make sure you get your ass to the hospital without running away before you get there."

He gives you a look. "You think I can't outrun him?"

You smile even wider, so, so endeared. "I'm sure you can." Brushing back his bangs again, you continue. "Anyway, like I was saying, you should really go to the hospital."

"But -"

"Go, get your scans done, take the pills they'll probably give you for the pain…" You adjust yourself where you’re sitting on the balls of your foot, “... and when you’re done and okay… let me know when you can pick me up for that second date.”

Silence. Jungkook slowly lowers the ice pack. “What?” Then he narrows his eyes. “Wait, is this a pity date?” he asks suspiciously. “Because I broke my face and you feel bad?”

“Dramatic much? You did not break your face,” you remind him, scowling. “And -” You slap him on the shoulder, making him gasp, “- don’t use my accusations against me!”

“Then why? I’ve only remembered four things,” he says, eyes big and dark.

“Forget the fifth,” you tell him lightly. “You’ve more than made up for it.” You realise it’s true, and you’re not just talking about the basketball fiasco. You look up to see him looking intently at you, chewing at his lower lip as though coming to a decision.

“I remember the fifth.” When you frown, he nods and you think he looks a little bashful. “You like Caffeta coffee.”

You blink. “What?”

“A sachet fell out of your bag in my car when you left that night,” he explains. “It was a red one… vanilla roast, I think? Anyway, I’d recognise that anywhere. There’s only one other person I know who’s that obsessed with coffee.”

You nod in a daze, knowing that Jung Hoseok is famous around Hybe for his caffeine preferences. “Would this have anything to do with the miraculously fixed coffee machine in the marketing department and Caffeta sachets that are somehow only on our floor…?”

“I’ve become pretty good friends with the kitchen staff over the years.”

“But…” You try to remember. “Jungkook, that was days ago. Why didn’t you say anything? You would’ve finished the game… well, yesterday.”

He shrugs, not meeting your eyes. “I wanted to hang out,” is all he says, and with a rush of affection for him, you understand what he’s saying. What you were telling yourself as a comfort, that you could still say no to a date even if he finished the challenge, is what he was afraid of. You don’t know what to say to that, so you lean forward and silently press a kiss to his cheek.

Maybe your jealousy is unfounded, too. When his cheeks redden slightly and he visibly suppresses a smile, you wonder in mild exasperation and fondness how on earth getting hit in so many different ways by a basketball can still make him look this angelic.

“Alright, you should go now,” you tell him softly, tapping his knee. “You have a comeback soon; you don’t need anything going wrong with your pretty face while you’re on stage.”

Jungkook grins. “You think my face is - ow!” He winces and covers his nose, frowning in pain.

“Okay, don’t - don’t smile,” you advise him indulgently, taking the ice pack from him and slowly touching it to his nose. “And, come on, this can’t be the first time you’ve heard this. The whole world thinks your face is pretty.” You look at him to see him raising his eyebrows behind the ice pack, eyes wide and expectant. You roll your eyes. “But, yes, I think your face is pretty, too.”

He seems incapable of not smiling so you simply gesture to him to keep the ice pack pressed to his face as you both stand up.

You brush his elbow with your fingers. "Go. And - and text me later? To let me know if everything's fine?" You wait for him to nod and he holds the ice pack out to you. "No, keep it."

But he shakes his head. "I'd rather not," he says, looking up at you as though expecting you to insist but you don't argue. Taking it, you nod at Suga behind him as he raises a hand in acknowledgment. “How will you get home?”

“I’m going with Dal,” you reply, pointing with your thumb in the direction of the car park.

“He’s in the car? Right now?” When you say yes, he simply nods thoughtfully, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“What?” you ask, a little teasingly. “You’re not going to kiss me this time?”

As expected, the tips of his ears begin to redden but he keeps his expression calm. “Nope. Not when I can’t use my face properly.”

“Alright. Make sure it’s alright for our date, then. Our third date, I guess.” Then, just to see him blush again, you wink. “And you know what happens on the third date.”

“Suddenly, I’m glad it’s just my face that got hit.”

You laugh, noting how he smiles and winces again. You don’t know how you ended up here, truly and fully crushing on the worst date of your life. His thoughts seem to be in the same territory as he looks at you, and you both take a step towards each other and come together in a hug.

“Take care of your face, Jeon,” you murmur against his shoulder. He smells faintly of his cologne, of grass and sweat, and you hold him a little tighter. “And don’t skip any pills.”

His arms feel impossibly strong and steady around your torso. Feeling the initial stirrings of warmth between your legs, you start to pull away but he tightens his grip, making you stay for a few more moments before letting you go. At the last moment, almost like he can’t help himself, he kisses your cheek.

“Sorry,” he says, eyes flickering behind you, not sounding sorry at all.

“Uh-huh.” You shake your head, not fooled. “Goodnight, Kook. Let me know what happens in the scary MRI machine.”

“Evil,” he calls out, walking backwards. You watch him get into his car with Suga as you reach Dal’s, getting into the passenger seat and strapping yourself in, cheeks warm and tingly. Just as he pulls out, you take out your phone to remind Jungkook of one last thing.

Me [19:28]

Oh, also? If you wear that stupid baseball cap on our date this time, I’m going to light it on fire and watch it burn.

~Fin~

Taglist: @bbl32, @ggukkieland, @bangtannoonalvg, @pb-n-juju

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think :)

#the fifth pt. 2 #jungkook x oc #jungkook x lia #jungkook x reader #bts fanfiction #bts writing #bts fluff #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfic

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witch-city · 3 years

Note

how about angst with a happy ending with a person of your choosing?!!

sleepless without you

marvel masterlist | marvel headcanons | navigation

ex!natasha romanoff x reader

word count: ~2k words

a/n: i decided to break up all the yelena requests with some nat, so yay (dw, more yelena soon). also, i came up with the whole thing while chugging a pint glass of water at 11 pm, so that's something. this took quite some time to finish (like 120 days)...it has been a long time coming, so i'm pretty proud of it. anyways, enjoy :)

warnings: hella angst (but an eventual happy ending)

requests are (kinda) open!

You stared up at your ceiling, arms and legs tangled within the blankets as you tried desperately to fall asleep. Recently, you hadn't been going to sleep as easily as you once had. Though you attributed it to regular stress, you knew that was a lie. The real reason behind your sleep problems was that you were alone. For years, you had someone by your side, there to snuggle into you, or sing you to sleep, or hold you until you were out, and that someone was none other than Natasha Romanoff.

Sure, she was a spy, but she could be so oddly calm and caring with you. You adored and worshiped her, and she did the same for you. You were always together, and when you couldn't be, you were thinking about each other. Everyone called you inseparable, and, for a time, you both would agree. And then things began to go downhill. The rough patches you occasionally faced repeated and became nearly perpetual. The small arguments you had about silly things which would end with both of you apologizing so you could sleep in each other's arms again became shouting matches which would end with someone storming out or sleeping on the couch.

And then, as if the years you spent loving each other without a single drop of hesitancy, doubt, or deception meant nothing, you stormed out of the bedroom you shared for what you would soon learn was the last time ever. Neither of you had spoken about it, nor had you officially broken up. You just knew that it was over, no matter what either of you would say to mend the relationship. Somehow, everyone just knew that it was a sore subject.

You couldn't remember the last time you didn't spend your entire day with Natasha, so to say you were bored out of your mind and seriously distraught post-split was an understatement. All you would do was sit in bed all day, eat food, play video games, watch TV and movies, and very few other things. You were taken off of most missions (save the ones on which you were needed), especially the ones with Nat. Of course, you didn't have much of a choice in the missions you had to go on though, so you occasionally were forced to work alongside her. No excuses.

Outside of missions, you had no obligations. There was no need for you to attend the occasional team dinner, you didn't need to go to any Stark Industries galas, no responsibilities. You took that as an opportunity to avoid Natasha, and it worked almost perfectly. You only rarely crossed paths, sticking to small, dry conversation when needed.

There was only one time when your paths crossed, and, for whatever reason, you actually talked. You didn't just talk about the weather or other shallow and distracting things to get you through the time you spent together. It was completely different and, if you were being honest, much more fulfilling.

It was past midnight, maybe 2 AM. You had left your bedroom to get a glass of water. It had become accustomed to you to refrain from getting water from your bathroom sink and leave your room to get things at ungodly hours of the night. You knew nobody would be awake or around to ask why you were up. You really weren't interested in sharing your emotional baggage leftover from breaking up with Natasha, especially that you hadn't been sleeping well.

As you pulled a pint glass out of one of the cabinets and went to fill it up at the fridge's water dispenser, you heard a voice in the adjacent lounge. You immediately recognized the raspiness of it, a cold feeling trailing down your spine. You didn't know what that feeling was, but you certainly did not welcome it given the circumstances.

"What are you doing up this late?"

"Just getting water."

"Can't you get it from your sink?" The redhead asked, crossing her arms. You didn't see it, but she seemed frustrated by the fact that you had yet to turn to face her.

"Don't you disapprove of that? I distinctly remember you telling me that sink water wasn't good." You recalled that one time late at night when you got out of bed for a drink and went to your bathroom with a cup, but as you filled it up, Natasha made some offhand comment about how sink water was gross. You couldn't remember her reasoning, maybe something about the storage tank or old pipes. You couldn't remember, but from then on, you always went down to the kitchen for drinking water.

She ignored your question, remembering that time too. The Russian wasn't even sure why she asked that question; she knew why you did what you did. Her. You had changed the smallest things for her. Did it really matter to you where you got your water? No way, but after her comment, bathroom sink water was off-putting. And now, even though you were broken up, and there seemed to be no hope for you to get back together, you were still seemingly looking to please her.

It was funny how you had practically destroyed each other over a period of years and were completely heartbroken, but still wanted to please and be adored by the other. It made no sense and total sense all at the same time. Being in her presence again left you exhausted and so refreshed, so empty and so full, so alone and so wanted, so sad and so happy. Just seeing her like this made you a mess. You tried your damnedest to hide it, but she, of course, saw through your little charade.

A silence fell upon you as you took a sip of your water. You tried to keep your gaze away from her, but you could feel her piercing green eyes burn straight through the side of your head, making you look over to her after a moment.

The look in her eyes- you had seen it before. It wasn't hatred or anything like that. It was yearning, not in a lustful way, but in a way that nearly made you melt. You felt fluttery and slightly embarrassed, like there were butterflies in your stomach. God, how does she still do this to me, you thought anxiously as you took another sip.

"I know you haven't been sleeping well."

"How?"

"Sunken, dark eyes, lack of interest in practically everything, the works, but mostly...neither have I."

You nodded, looking over to her and down slightly. "It's weird having an empty bed. It feels like someone should be there, but no," you trailed off, shrugging. As another silence fell, you thought of a time when Nat came home to you crying in bed for whatever reason and soothed you until you were asleep. You remember waking up in her arms, looking up, and seeing her there, her arms wrapped snuggly around you and her soft snores.

You suddenly felt so melancholy. You hadn't felt like this at all since the break-up. Well, it's not like you could; you completely blocked all your memories of Nat out so you wouldn't have to think about them.

Maybe that wasn't such a great idea because, before you knew it, tears pricked your eyes. You rubbed them, trying to rid the familiar sting they caused. The redhead's instincts kicked in, and she began to approach you, but before she could pull you into her, she stopped. You noticed how she cringed momentarily. You blamed it on something unrelated, but you knew that it was completely about you.

You closed your tired eyes, willing the tears not to cascade down your face, and luckily, only a few fell. You quickly wiped them away, turning away slightly. Except as you raised your hand to rid your face of the tears, you felt a warm hand on your wrist, pulling you in the direction they came from. Before you knew it, the distance between you closed almost completely. She slowly raised her hand towards your face, stopping to make sure it was alright. Once you nodded, she used her thumbs to wipe away the stray tears. You relaxed at her touch, allowing your eyes to close.

She watched you, noticing how the little crinkle between your eyebrows faded and how your face completely relaxed. The Russian looked at you a moment longer, just holding your face like how she used to. Neither of you said anything, but rather basked in each other's presence. After a moment, you opened your eyes to meet hers. Your hands moved to her waist, not even waiting for your brain to stop them. You hadn't noticed it, but you had inched so close to her. Moments before, there was nearly a foot separating you, but now, her chest brushed against your own.

Your noses were nearly touching, and you could feel her breath as you watched how her intent eyes danced around your face. First, she looked into your eyes, but a moment later, she was staring at your lips or your nose or even your hair.

She dragged her nose against yours for a moment, your lips almost grazing each other. Neither of you said anything for the longest time, you just stood there. You weren't sure if she wanted to kiss you, but you had some feeling deep down that she wanted it to happen.

You searched for words, desperately trying to fill the silence. But as your mouth opened, nothing came to you. Not sure what to do, you stepped back an inch or so, furrowing your brow once again. Natasha stepped back as well, wrapping her arms around herself as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"Nat, I-"

As if Natasha knew what you were going to say, she replied, "It's okay. You don't have to."

"I want to."

She went silent, her mouth opening just slightly in both awe and confusion. She was wondering just how you knew what she meant. She was also shocked that you still held those feelings for her. Again, you spoke up to fill the silence. "I want to, Natasha. I want to love you." After a deep breath, you finished what you had wanted to say for quite some time. "I still love you."

"I still love you too."

Your eyes met hers, and neither of you would dare pull away. Without even realizing it, the two of you had stepped closer once more, somehow closer this time. Both of you stared for a minute, but looked down as your hands intertwined as they had done so many times before. Returning your gaze back to the other, you stood frozen for a moment until the redhead gently grabbed your waist and practically slammed her lips to yours.

She quickly pulled back as if she hadn't meant to kiss you.

She did.

You didn't get enough. Pulling her into you, you kissed her back. This kiss was unlike any other. It was the recreation of two souls coming together to form one. It was the validation of feelings left unheard and unsaid.

Eventually, you felt yourself crying. You had to pull away, placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. You turned away from her as well, placing your other hand on the counter as you leaned over it. As you did so, Natasha panicked momentarily, thinking she had just made you cry. In truth, you didn't even know why you were crying. It just happened.

Once Natasha placed her hand on your elbow for a moment, you turned around and practically attacked her with a hug. Knocking the wind out of her, you buried your face into the crook of her neck. The woman shushed you and ran her fingers through your hair lovingly. And so you stood there in her embrace, holding her tight around her waist as she held you.

Neither of you had to say anything. You just knew that everything would soon be back to normal. You weren't quite sure what you and Natasha were yet, but did it really matter? You loved her, and she loved you back. What more could you ask for?

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst #black widow x you #black widow x reader #mine.

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bbyheedeungie · 3 years

Text

Tales of the ring | Orphan! Jay AU Part 1

Pairings: Jay x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, age gap (4 years)

Warnings: suggestive content, messy timeline

Synopsis: You've spent most of your lives together at a Catholic orphanage in a small town, with Jay being left there as an infant and you volunteering there since you were thirteen years old. Now twenty-three, every child in the orphanage looks up to you as their older sister. Well, except for that one stubborn kid named Jay.

You always tend to his cuts and bruises when he fell down after climbing on trees with his friends, but not after a long hour of bickering.

"Stop climbing trees if you're just gonna fall down!" You scold 9-year old Jay as you rummaged through the first aid kit.

"Just shut up and fix me up, woman." He demands, his arms crossed over his chest. You sigh.

"I'm just worried about you, okay? You could've broken a bone or something!" You reasoned with him. His eyes turns into slits, glaring at you.

"Are you calling me a wimp?" He challenges. Though it never crossed your mind, the thought of calling him a wimp was indeed amusing. You tried to suppress your laughter but it came out as a snort.

"Hey, I'm not a wimp. Drop it." Jay says, almost coming out as a whine. You nod, trying to calm yourself down from wanting to laugh. Cause you know Jay's going to end you if he even hears anything close to a giggle come out from your lips.

"Still as wimpy as ever, huh?" You teased him as you disinfected his wounded knees. He was sitting on the couch with you kneeled infront of him, and 16 year old Jay just can't seem to take his eyes off you.

Your lower lip is caught in between your teeth as you concentrated on his cuts, and Jay licks his own lips unconsciously.

At 20 years old, you have grown to be quite a lady, Jay notes. Beautiful, luscious hair that complimented the perfect features of your face, your body slightly plump in some places which gave you that womanly figure, dainty and gentle hands that cared for his wounds, any man would think of you as wife material. And Jay couldn't help but huff in annoyance at the thought of other men wanting you for themselves.

"And you're still as annoying as ever." He mutters before he pinched your cheeks hard, making you yelp in pain and involuntarily putting pressure on the cotton ball you were dipping onto his wound. Soon after, you were both crying from pain.

"How could you." He said in betrayal, clutching his wounded knee.

You always chased after him around the orphanage when he had a fever to make him take his medicine when he refused to drink them, dragging him by the back of his shirt to his room to make him rest.

"You can't just pull a stunt like that when I'm fixing up your cuts you dummy." You glared at him, massaging your reddened cheek.

"I don't want to stay in bed, woman. I wanna play outside!" 11-year old Jay huffs in annoyance, kicking off the blanket you've just placed on his body. You sighed and placed it back on him.

"Bold of you to call me a woman after I've just wrestled you at the lobby earlier." 15-year old you chuckled, remembering what you had to go through to make him go back to his room.

"Don't remind me, you were like a freaking hippo back there! Geez." Jay scrunches his nose and turns his back to you.

"You insufferable woman." He mutters as you tuck him into his bed. 18-year old Jay was just as irritable as ever, but only when it came to you.

"Yeah yeah." You rolled your eyes at him dismissively as you placed a cold compress to his forehead. He's such a big baby.

"Stop being a jerk for once and learn to take care of yourself, will you?" You scold him, leaning in to fix the position of his pillow. Jay's heartbeat goes nuts, with your body so close above him. He could just grab you by the waist then and there and hold you tight. Your feminine scent was so alluring, filling up his senses, your skin translucent in the moonlight shining through the windows and he even caught a glimpse of your cleavage through your thin, white dress shirt.

Shit, shit, shit. He thinks, fisting his blanket tightly. His cheeks glowed crimson red, but thankfully you thought it was just because of the fever.

Rest assured, Jay wasn't all that bad as others make him out to be, and you strongly believe this. You remember that one night, it was your fourteenth birthday but you didn't bother telling anyone. You didn't want to burden the sisters, and your family didn't care much about it either. But Jay did. He cared, and he remembered.

You sat on the roof, your secret hiding place, as you admired the starry sky. But it's not really a secret when Jay knows about it. The ten year old boy climbed up, grunting as he struggled keeping his balance. You flinched at the sound and panicked, but it immediately died down when you saw it was just him. He quietly sat beside you.

Silence took over as you sighed in content, taking in the peaceful evening.

"Happy birthday." Jay said, almost a whisper. Your head turns to him and he immediately looks the other way, refusing to meet your eyes.

"Thank you, Jay." You said in gratitude, not bothering to hide your smile. He still refused to look your way as he held out his fist.

"What is it?" You asked in confusion, furrowing your eyebrows at his closed hand. He sighs, taking your hand in his as he placed something cold and hard on your palm.

"It's for you." He says. You gasped, taking in the shiny object encrusted with tiny jewels that glinted in the moonlight.

"Jay, where did you get this?" You ask him, bewildered.

"The sisters said they found that ring in my pocket when they found me outside the door of the orphanage the night that they took me in. It's my most precious possession. In fact, it's my only possession." He says, laughing lightly as he looked up at the sky.

"Must be an heirloom, maybe you came from a wealthy family! Jay, I can't accept this. This is important to you!" You exclaimed, holding the ring back to him.

You're important to me. He thinks.

"Maybe, but they've left me here haven't they?" He simply shrugs.

"But why give it to me?" You asked, holding the ring close to your chest. Jay rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue.

"Hey, no more questions. I gave it to you as a birthday gift, so you better treasure it. Good night." He says and prepares to climb down, leaving you dumbfounded.

At nineteen, Jay was the oldest at the orphanage. He never got adopted, and younger kids would pick on him because of it.

"You never got adopted because your a weirdo."

"They can probably sense that you're useless."

But Jay being Jay, he'd beat them up everytime just because their faces annoy him. And you'd be the one to ask for forgiveness for his sake everytime he got in trouble. You knew him well enough to know that although he'd never admit it out loud, seeing other kids like Jungwon and Sunoo get adopted while he gets left behind hurt him more than it should.

"I'm very sorry for Jay's actions, please don't send him away." You begged to the Mother Superior's feet, and Jay couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Not of you, but of himself for having you go through all this for him.

"Noona, please you don't have to do this." He tells you softly, for once as he tries pulling you up to your feet but you just won't budge.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I know you have grown quite close to Jay for the past ten years. But he is now of legal age he can't just keep hurting minors." The mother superior, which is the head of the orphanage states.

"Jay promises he won't do it again, please." You continue to plead, at this point you were so close at kissing the sister's feet if that'll make them forgive Jay.

"What, when did I promised—." He says and you signal him to shut up. The sisters sigh, and decide to just punish Jay by making him work at the farm for a month. You thank them over and over, tears welling in your eyes.

"Y/N, may I have a word with you. Jay, you may retire to your room." The mother superior instructs. Jay looks at you hesitantly, before leaving.

"Have a seat." She commands you, and you oblige.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" You asked.

"Listen, dear. You're now twenty-three years old, you are at your ripest age of getting married. Not only that, but you're also one of the most beautiful maidens of this town. You can't spend your life at this orphanage forever. Won't you consider settling down soon?" She suggests, and you felt a lump in your throat, your heart feeling unease.

"That's alright, Mother Superior. I'm only twenty-three, I still have a lot to figure out in my life. When a man does take interest in me, I'll decide then." You assure her, and stand up to leave.

The next days, you'd wake up early to prepare breakfast for the kids and for Jay before he heads off to the farm. Jay being the stubborn boy he is, refuses to sit down and have breakfast and so on most days, you'd chase after him to bring him his breakfast and lunch box. He'd purposely walk faster, ignoring your shouts. A smirk never leaving his face.

"Jay! Jay! Wait!" You yelled, chasing your breath as you continued to run after him. But your quick steps were no match for his long strides.

"Jay you freaking dimwit! Haaaaalt!" You yell at the top of your lungs with all your might, and he finally stops in his tracks, turning to look at you.

"Oh, you've been calling for me? Did you need something?" He asks, feigning ignorance that you've been shouting his name for a good fifteen minutes. You huff, stomping towards him angrily. His face smug the whole time.

Others would think you're ready to punch him in the face, but instead you would take his hand and place his boxed meal there. You sigh.

"Take care of yourself, okay? And finish everything I packed for you." You say. Jay simply rolls his eyes and waves a hand at you dismissively.

"Yeah yeah, just don't go missing me too much." He teases, suppressing a smile. You scoffed, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Damn right, I wont." You stuck your tongue at him before waving him goodbye, running back to the orphanage.

As you walked back, you notice a fancy carriage parked in front of the orphanage. Many people were gathered around, gossiping.

"The crown prince has selected candidates to be his wife."

"Now that the queen has passed away, the prince must choose his bride in order to ascend to the throne."

"Oh what a lucky girl she must be."

You slip through the crowd of people, successfully making your way inside.

"Oh here she is now." Mother Superior introduces you to the men in fancy clothing, and you stood their dumbfounded.

"She is a beauty indeed." The men agreed to themselves.

"What exactly is happening?" You whisper to the Mother Superior.

"They came here for you, my child. You have been selected by the prince to become a candidate of being his wife. I've already had your suitcases ready, they will take you to the palace now. And don't worry, I've already informed your parents and they are more than happy and wished you the best."

Everything was happening so fast, it's like everything's been decided for you. And amidst the chaos in your mind, you could only think of one person. Jay.

"What about Jay, I haven't said goodbye—" You pleaded to the old woman to let you see Jay one last time but the footmen has announced your departure to the palace. You choked on your tears as pain burned through your chest, clutching Jay's ring to your chest as you were brought further and further away from the place you called home all your life.

Jay plowed the soil over and over, sweat trickling down his neck and forehead. The sun is high and the heat is a pretty tough companion.

"Jay! Jay!" Jay's friend, Sunghoon called his name, sprinting towards him as if his life depended on it. Sunghoon was one of the orphan kids who got adopted recently, whose home was only a few blocks away from the orphanage. Jay halted his work, placing the tool beside him.

"Haven't seen you in a while, what brings you here?" He raises his eyebrow. Sunghoon holds onto his knees as he catches his breath, before uttering words that shattered Jay's heart into pieces.

"No, it can't be." He refuses to believe it, shaking his head aggressively as tears welled in his eyes. It felt as if he was pierced so deeply in the chest with a dagger, so agonizingly painful.

"It is true, they took Y/N to the palace to become the prince's bride. It's been the talk of the town all morning." Sunghoon is sad for his friend, knowing his feelings for her all along.

"No! Y/N wouldn't do that, she wouldn't leave just like that. No." Jay cried and ran his way back to the orphanage, leaving his belongings behind.

He enters the orphanage, screaming for your name.

"Noona? Noona! I'm here, I'm here now. Noona? Where are you?" He kept on calling for you, his voice breaking as tears blurred his vision. The sisters tried to calm him down but he shoved their hands away from him.

"No! It can't be, she couldn't have left. Please tell me she didn't leave, please." Jay crumbled as he called your name over and over in agony. He begged for everything to be just some sick joke, a prank you planned to get back at him for always being so mean to you.

"Y/N." He choked out before everything spiraled infront of him and went black.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #kpop imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen jay #enhypen jay park #enhypen jay fluff #enhypen jay angst #enhypen jay smut #enhypen jay au #enhypen jay imagine #park jeongseong

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celestialrry · 3 years

Text

stood up

3.5k

hello everyone!!!! I've been awol for literally weeks because i had absolutely NO motivation to write but i finally finished this piece ˊᗜˋ so YAY. ALSOO thank you for following me, liking, and reblogging my pieces (it encourages me somuchsothankyouireallyappreciateit-- and remember reblogging really helps us writers :))) ) here’s a hug for all ur patience and feel free to send me asks or requests i love talking to you guys! ε(♡'-')з

summary: Harry keeps standing Y/N up. (request from @ballerinrry! thank u love)

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and sex, angsty but with a happy ending cause for some reason i can never let them end on a bad note

Y/N was excited.

It had been a while since Harry had asked her to go on a date, it was always the other way around recently. She couldn’t blame him though, Y/N knew just how busy Harry always was, and it wasn’t like he was purposefully not asking her to go do things, he just had a lot on his plate.

That’s what she kept telling herself anyways.

It’s what she told herself when it had been 2 weeks since they had even eaten a meal together, and given the fact that just a few months ago Harry had come back to London for a while, that was rare. So, Y/N asked him to grab lunch on a Saturday while they were lying in bed together, and when he agreed, but failed to show up, leaving Y/N sitting at the cafe, her lips morphed into a frown and her eyes not focusing on the phone in front of her, she told herself he was simply booked up with meetings and studio time and such.

Thats what he told her when he got into bed that night to apologize for accidentally standing her up. She forgave him, of course, and suggested they could just get dinner the next week. He agreed, even walked around to his calander her to show her he was marking the date off in his calendar with a heart, her first initial, and 7:00 PM etched into the little box with red sharpie.

So, the week passed with quick kisses of good mornings and good nights, and while Harry was gone Y/N had on a black dress she had been excited to wear for a while now, with those little mini silver heels and a coat strung over her shoulders as she sat on her couch waiting for Harry to swing by to pick her up. She shot him a text that simply asked “You otw? xx”

He was not.

It took about 30 minutes of waiting on their couch to realize he was standing her up, again. And it took until the next morning for Harry to see her text (his phone had been on do not disturb while he was at the studio and he ended up spending the night at Sarah and Mitch’s after a few beers), and for the guilt to seep through his veins.

He apologized, again. And Y/N forgave him, again.

Only until it got to the point where Y/N no longer remembered the amount of times Harry had stood her up, for being at the studio, or sleeping after a meeting, or simply just not paying attention to his phone, she knew there was a problem.

Harry was fully aware of the problem too. He knew that this was no way to ever treat a partner, and if someone was doing this to him, he’d dump them— well, he’s never been one to end a relationship unless it was necessary, so that’s an exaggeration, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Which is why when he got home one day around 11 PM, gave her a kiss to the forehead after she sat up in their bed to give him a hug, and a soft “Can we talk?” escaped her lips, he knew he had to fix this. So he asked her if they could talk over dinner the next night, he just wanted to sleep but also wanted to fix things with his girl, asking her if she was free of course, before telling her he’s gonna make a reservation at that nice restaurant the two of them used to go to quite often, because “it’s been a while since I’ve taken my favorite girl out”.

A grin broke out on her face because he had asked her! And if Harry was planning it, there’s no way he’d cancel or stand her up.

So yeah, Y/N was excited.

She woke up that morning with a smile on her face, and something akin to a what she thinks a rainbow would feel like running through her veins. It had only been a few months since she’d last been on a date with her boyfriend of almost 2 years and a half in person, and she was going to make the most of it. Because after this date, things would change. They’d spend more time together again and it would be like this little bump (that neither had acknowledged) never happened.

Y/N did, well, everything to prepare. Took a long shower, shaved, put on that coconut lotion Harry likes— he tended to dig his face in her neck when he smelled it while holding her—, brushed her teeth more than 3 times, dug in her closet to find that one patterned soft purple dress she bought ages ago but never had a change to wear it, until now, put on those really cute heels Harry said he liked once (“Looks like something you’d wear on a runway pet, I love ‘em.”), and even styled her hair differently than normal.

He had told her he would swing by at 8 on the dot after the studio, and soon enough, it was 8, with no sign from the man who made the promise himself. Y/N thought maybe there was traffic, he was just running late, texted him a quick, “Can’t wait to see you!! xxx” and put her phone on the coffee table, waiting on their couch.

8 turned to 9, 9 turned to 10, 10 turned to 11, and soon it was midnight. Y/N doesn’t think she’d ever felt more empty than how she felt then, walking to their shared room of a year, slipping off her heels and tossing them towards the closet, as well as pulling her dress over herself and letting it fall to the floor behind her, grabbing that one t-shirt she always wears when she needs comfort (which just happened to an extra 2018 Live on Tour shirt Harry had laying around that she snatched just 3 months into them dating), and flopping into bed.

She couldn’t fall asleep, and instead spent her time curled up in their bedsheets, a steady flow of tears making their way down her blush covered cheeks.

。:°ஐ

Harry usually didn’t make mistakes.

Sure, he had his moments, grabbing the wrong coffee off the counter when his name was called at the cafe, forgetting to text Jeff that he actually couldn’t make it to a meeting that was scheduled in a few hours. Just little things, things that didn’t matter that much, and could always be fixed. He didn’t usually make mistakes that weren’t easy to fix. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

Until, he was.

Harry loved Y/N. He loved having her around, loved spending time with her, loved loving on her, loved kissing her, loved touching her, loved the way she went about almost everything. He was so in love with her, that hurting her was out of the question. He never wanted to be the one to make her cry, make her bottom lip quiver before the tears rushed out like he’d seen many times before, due to movies, his songs (which as sadistic as it sounds was an ego builder to have someone so close to him so affected by the music he wrote), her school work, or even her friends that weren’t being so nice.

In fact, he was so in love with her, even being so afraid of commitment (it took him over a year of them dating to ask her to move in), all he wanted to do was blurt out those 4 dreaded words. “Will you marry me?” It was a bond for life, and he was terrified of that, but with Y/N all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his living days with her.

When Harry had come back from being in L.A. for so long and finally being in the same city as his girlfriend back at their home, all they did was spend time together. Every time he saw Y/N all he wanted to do was say those 4 words that he hadn’t even fully come to terms with himself. It was dangerous, and Harry’s self control when it came to Y/N was lacking, so he simply did was every normal person would do in his situation.

He stood her up.

Many more times than he could count, and of course he felt like the shittiest person in the world— shittiest boyfriend in the world—but at least now she can’t possibly be under the impression that he wanted to marry her, which is what he wanted. Or thought he wanted, until Sarah called him up one day after he had stood Y/N up for dinner the night before and told him off. Told Harry just how fucking terrible he made Y/N feel, how unwanted she thought she was, how she felt like they were loosing their relationship, and Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. (Of course Y/N had sobbed to Sarah about it over the phone while she was drunk off the wine she opened 40 minutes after Harry said he would be there, so she really didn’t even remember the conversation).

And later that day Harry had come home, heard her wavering voice asking if they could talk, and decided in his head he would tell her how he felt, how sorry he was, and how he wanted to be with her forever and love her forever if she allowed him. He had a few expectations for their dinner, that Y/N would probably tell him how he’s made her feel, and Harry would apologize, tell her why he did it, explain he thought it was no excuse, then tell her he plans on marrying her (obviously not proposing just yet, but finally bringing up the conversation they had never had even though they were in a serious committed relationship) and they’d go back home, have the most amazing sex ever, and forget about the whole thing.

What Harry didn’t expect was to get a call from Jeff around 5 asking him to come to the studio to fix few vocals, then end up nailing down 2 songs in one night, go to a bar with the band to celebrate, get drunk, then pass out at Mitch and Sarahs flat.

But that’s what happened, according to Mitch, who woke Harry up the very next morning.

“Good morning man, wakey wakey,” Mitch’s teasing tone echoed through Harry’s (what felt like full of vodka) brain as he groaned and squinted his eyes. “Why are you waking me up at this hour in the morning?” Harry asked drearily, sighing and simultaneously regretting last night as a whole because the last thing he wanted to do while hungover was be up before at least 9 AM.

“We’ve gotta go to meet with Jeff about tour in like a hour, H” Mitch stated .

At Mitch’s words Harry sat up on their couch, eyes wide in fear. “Wait mate, I thought tha’ meeting was on Wednesday.”

“It is Wednesday H, god how drunk did we let you get last night…” Mitch said, beginning to recount some of Harry’s antics the night before. Harry however, couldn’t hear a thing with the blood pumping through his ears. If today was Wednesday, that meant yesterday was Tuesday, and he went and got trashed at a bar with his friends Tuesday night when— when he was supposed to be on a date with Y/N, when he was supposed to confess his intentions, when he was supposed to apologize for standing her up over and over, yet instead he went and did it again.

Now this, this was a mistake.

“…H. H. Harry? Are you there?” Mitch’s voice came back into focus and Harry shook his head. “I- fuck, I was supposed to take Y/N out last night.” Harry said, his voice trembling.

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive you, it’s just one night.” Mitch tried to make Harry feel better. He knew Y/N was a very forgiving person, she would get over this in no time.

“No, she won’t. I-I’ve stood her up for the past month and a half, Mitch.”

At these words, Mitch stands straight up making pained eye contact with Sarah in the kitchen who was overhearing most of this conversation with her eyes wide. She had no idea it was this bad. “Month and a half? I thought it was just that one time a few weeks ago, Harry what the hell is wrong with you?” Harry simply shook his head and didn’t reply. He had absolutely no idea how to make it up to her. “I-fuck, I don’t know Mitch!” Harry raised his voice. “I need to see her and apologize, now.” Harry said, standing up and rushing over to the front door and slipping on his shoes.

“This meeting is mandatory Harry, as much as I want you to see her too, she’d probably still asleep, and I don’t think this can be solved in under an hour.” Mitch said calmly, already knowing Harry was close to walking out his door. Harry stayed silent for a moment, weighing the options. Either go apologize to his girlfriend, or prioritize himself over her again.

“We can do it another day, I’m sorry, but I have to go see her, tell Jeff I feel sick.” And he walked out without another word.

。:°ஐ

The morning after Harry stood Y/N up again was brutal.

She stayed up all night, replaying moments with Harry in her head, analyzing if he wanted to be there with her, wondering if maybe he felt like he had to stay with her out of pity. It was torture, and the pain seemed to turn into numbness as time went by, and eventually the sun came up, and she stayed in bed, her motivation lost.

A loud crash and “Fuck!” woke her up, swollen eyes fluttering open to the invasive noise. Y/N furrowed her brows, her mind connecting everything that happened yesterday and unfortunately reminding her of the unbearable pain she went through the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she sat up and flung her legs out of her bed sheets that had been flung off the bed in the middle of the night. She began grumbling to herself as she made her way downstairs, ready to tell Harry off for making so much noise.

Her mouth stopped moving, and instead remained in limbo as her eyes met Harry’s. His mouth opened to speak, but his words were caught in his throat as he saw the state she was in. It was when her mouth pressed into a line that he could begin talking. “Y/N, baby, please I know you don’t wanna see me or talk t’me right now but I’m so fuckin’ sorry, love. So so sorry, it was an accident, I went t’ the studio to fix a few things then got hung up on the songs and by the time we went to celebrate I completely lost track of time, and I was too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Mitch’s.”

Her mouth fell open at his words. Everything was happening too fast. Hearing that he stood her up to drink at a fucking bar to celebrate himself, then coming home and accidentally knocking over a glass in their kitchen (which she put together was the crash earlier after seeing the shards of broken glass on the floor) frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer, and Harry had stopped talking after realizing what he just admitted to her. Without another glance, instead of looking at Y/N’s tear stained face, all he saw was her back, walking up the stairs to their room.

“Fuck,” He said to himself before following her up the pink stairs. “Y/N, love wait-please, I’m so sorry, I just need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, please.” He begged as she shut their bedroom door in his face, his voice turning into a desperate whine at the end.

。:°ஐ

It’s been 3 days since then, and she hasn’t spoken to him. He would leave in the mornings, kissing her forehead and mumbling an “I love you” and telling her exactly what time he’d be home, before leaving and coming back on time to find an empty plate in the sink and her lying in their bed, whether it be reading, scrolling on her phone, or typing on her laptop. He would apologize many times, reaching his hand out for hers and she would simply situate herself in their bed and lay down, back turned to him.

Harry just couldn’t take it anymore.

It was when she had finally let him kiss her forehead goodnight that he decided to take his chance. “Y/N.” He spoke softly, with no response or anything to indicate she heard him. “Baby, can we please talk- or I’ll talk and you listen, I just- I really need to say some things.”

She was still faced away from him when he leaned against their headboard and he decided to keep going.

“I- um. I’m sure you know how sorry I am, but I really am- sorry I mean. Not just for tonight but for every other time I’ve stood you up. I’m so sorry for not showing you how much you matter to me, and how much the things you do matter to me.”

It was then that she slowly sat up next to him and looked at him, eyes begging him to continue. He blushed at her intense eye-contact that he had barely gotten over the past few days and took a breath, opting to look at his hands fidgeting in his lap.

“We’ve been together for 2 and almost a half years, which is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s no excuse to treat you this way, but I had just been thinking about how things progress even further than now,” He coughs. “Which is marriage, and when I finally came home, all I wanted to do was ask you to marry me- I don’t- m’not proposing right now, I just- I got really scared because wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is crazy to me,

I’ve never thought that way about anyone else until you, I didn’t even really want to get married before you, and I started to distance myself before I ended up telling you this, but obviously that blew up in my face.” He chuckled a bit, locking eyes with her unreadable ones for a moment and lifting a hand to run through his hair. “What I’m trying to say, is that I love you, so so much, and I plan on marrying you— obviously if you want to too, of course— and I’m so sorry for trying to make you think that I didn’t care about you anymore or love you any less, because it’s the complete opposite of that.”

His eyes were watery now, as he started down at his interlocked fingers, and his eyes widened when her hand was gently placed over his own. “Harry,” Y/N began. “Look at me, please.”

His head lifted to see her facing him, her brows knitted and a small smile on her face. “I forgive you, okay? I could tell you were kind of scared of commitment when we first started dating, and I wish I could say your reason for standing me up is surprising but it’s not.” They both chuckled a bit at this. “I- I’m still upset at you, I need you to know that, because 2 months of thinking the love of your life is avoiding you doesn’t feel all too great, so you suck for that,” she said, planting a quick kiss to his cheek which quickly turned pink. “But Harry, even if you asked me to marry you a year ago I would have said yes. I love you, so much, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you as well. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, it was… unnecessary and immature. So, thank you for apologizing. I love you.” She confessed again.

“S’okay, I deserved it, and I love you too. Maybe even more. So um, we’re okay?” Harry asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

She nodded with a smile and pulled him into a much needed hug and pulled away only for him to bring her into an even more needed kiss. “If you ever try to pull that shit again, I’m breaking up with you.” She laughed and he tackled her into the sheets hiding his face in her neck.

“Duly noted, love. Duly noted.”

#harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #Harry Styles #harry styles angst #im pretty proud of this one #if I do say so myself #harry styles fanfiction #its kinda short tho sorry

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