#all's well that ends well

[macbooth]

full of childish whimsy in a hostile fashion tonight so here’s every shakespeare clown i can think of and whether or not i think i’d beat them in a fight

(i do not mean fools i mean clowns. they do not need to be the secret genius of the play. if they are stupid in every way shape or form i am including them here)

Puck (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) No chance. Bro’s got that magic and ALSO has a big strong scary fairy king as his bear, like, do not separate them. If I even tried throwing hands at this cunt I’d get torn to shreds and used as glitter dude, I’d be over. 0/10

Nick Bottom (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) I could but I’d feel bad. I also think he’d put up a really solid fight. Like this is out of donkey form, bro was a physical worker. Like I reckon I could win a fight with some of the tradies I’ve seen but I don’t think it’d be easy. Also he’s just really dumb so I would feel a little bad. Donkey form though, I’m running away. Scary as shit. I am afraid of horses though. 6.5/10

Touchstone (As You Like It) Absolutely I could beat the shit out of this man. I hate him so much. Full of hostility towards this fucker. His clothes aren’t even subtle I could find this bitch in the forest no time and hunt him down and rip him to shreds, fuckin court jester doesn’t even have the roughness of the country on his side. 9/10 (-1 point cause he definitely fights dirty but I just hate him so much I’d win)

Jaques (As You Like It) First off he’s absolutely a clown. Second off I’ve played him before so my word is gospel. Third off bro has no fucking chance against me. He’s a podcast bro who thinks I don’t know that Tame Impala is one dude. I’d ask him why we can’t print more money and he would explode instantly and it would be the funniest thing he did with his life. 10/10

Audrey & Corin (As You Like It) I’m lumping these two together cause in the show I did they were one character (and I also played them). I wouldn’t even want to fight these two. And even if I wanted to Audrey would absolutely be able to beat the shit out of me and I would thank her. Our setting was in semi-modern country Australia, that girl would have a shotgun. 2/10

Autolycus (Winter’s Tale) Just like Jaques to me. He might be a little bit harder because he’d change costume and I’d get confused because I have no object permanence but other than that what has he got. Bitterness? Resentment? Bitch so did I when I was 15 grow up experience love. 8/10

Falstaff (Henry IV parts 1 & 2, Merry Wives of Windsor) I don’t actually know about this one but he is very punchable. I feel like he’d let me punch him and I think one punch would be enough for me. I think that would satisfy my urge to punch him. He may be a knight but let’s be honest he’s shit at it so I stand by this. 4/10 (just cause I don’t really give a shit)

The Dromios (Comedy of Errors) I absolutely could beat them in a fight but I would feel So Bad. You see how they’re literally already treated in the play, I wanna give them a break. That being said they’re both kinda dicks but they’re going through it already so I’d wanna give them a breather. I would win though, even if they both were attacking at once. 7/10

Launcelot Gobbo (Merchant of Venice) He’s such a prick but I would be laughing too hard at his name to fight him. Bro’s name is Gobbo. Bro’s name is basically Gobby. Imagine being named Blowjob. I would lose my mind. I would laugh so so hard I would collapse. My heart would fail. Biggest L name out there bro. Launcelot Gobbo oh my god. 3/10

Launce (Two Gentlemen of Verona)  Nah man he has an attack dog. I don’t care what breed of dog Crab is in a production I fully believe he would kill for Launce, that’s just their dynamic. I understand them better than anyone else (I have a dog). Also he’s already working for Proteus, is that not punishment enough? 4/10

Speed (Two Gentlemen of Verona) I mean I definitely could fight him. I don’t imagine he’s got much fighting experience. But once again, he has to deal with Valentine which does feel like it would be cruel to inflict more onto him. Like Valentine’s not as bad as Proteus but fuck is he stupid. Also if I accidentally flubbed a punch Speed could absolutely tear me a new asshole with his words and I would sob and cry and literally never recover. 4/10

The Porter (Macbeth) Fuck no. Bro definitely has a knife on him at all times. I can’t explain why I think this I just do. He works night shift, he definitely doesn’t get paid enough for his dog shit job, he would absolutely try to stab me just to spice up his evening without me starting a fight. 1/10

Trinculo (Tempest) Yes. Sorry, you’re Russell Brand? L. I could kick your ass. And he’s like drunk for half the show, and almost fucked a fish. I doubt his judgement is good enough to say the alphabet backwards let alone dodge a punch. He couldn’t even get Caliban to kick my ass (who definitely could by the way) cause Caliban fucking hates him. Bro, failwife to Stephano should pay more. But it doesn’t. 8.5/10

Dogberry (Much Ado About Nothing) Without Verges? Yes. With Verges? No way. Those two are a power couple in the dumbest possible way. He would absolutely try to get me arrested though but I simply would not go to prison. What’s he gonna do? Send me to prison? I’m already not going. 7/10

Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) No chance. Unless Romeo fucked up so bad like he did in the actual play, I would have no chance against this dude. I wouldn’t even want to even if I could. I’m a Benvolio stan first and foremost and a person second you think I’d wanna fight his bestie? Only exception is if it was an actual fight club and not just a pure fight out of hatred. I feel like Mercutio could give Brad Pitt Fight Club Realness, outfits included.  I would still lose though. 2.5/10

Don Adriano De Armado (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I reckon I could wreck this dude’s shit. You know that gif where the fuckin dude is doing all these cool sword moves and then he just gets shot? You know the one. I forgot where it’s from but you know the one. That would be this fight. Armado would bust out his flair, his razzle dazzle, his pizzaz, and I would just deck him I think. That’s the power you need in this world, I think. Power of fist to face. Peace and love. <3 8/10

Costard (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I do not think Costard would realise he was being fought even as he was actively getting hit in the face. I know how to say honorificabilitudinitatibus, he doesn’t even have that against me. Bro couldn’t even confuse me with that, I learnt that, like an adult. Anyway yeah I’d kick his ass. 9/10

Holofernes & Sir Nathaniel (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This is the same man to me. I would destroy them both. Fuckin nerds. Flowery ass language nerds. I support gay rights and gay wrongs but the only reason I couldn’t fight those two gay muppets who heckle is cause they’re too far away (in a theatre booth), these two gay muppets who heckle are right in front of me. I’d kick their tweed cladded asses. 10/10

Jaquenetta (Love’s Labour’s Lost) She is just like Audrey to me. I could never bring myself to hurt her. Also she’s pregnant and I feel like it’s fucked up to hit a pregnant woman just for fun. Also she could absolutely wreck my shit. Please wreck my shit Jaquenetta. 0.5/10

Moth (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This little fucker should be an INSTANT knock out but I just know this fucker bites. He’s a shit talking 8 year old? Oh he plays wolves on the playground, I just know it. He plays wolves and he’s definitely been suspended for it, I just know it in my heart. Sure, I could kick him, but he would grab hold of my foot and try to rip it off. We would shake hands and agree to part ways, having met our match. He, who plays wolves, and me, who played fairies, leave the fight with our heads high and respect in our hearts. I am kidding of course but I do think we would tie. 5/10

Lear’s Fool (King Lear) There’s already so much fighting going on, I don’t even think they’d notice if I just started kicking this dude. Not only could I fight him and win, I think I’d get away with it too. I’d win not only physically but socially too. What’s he gonna do? Tell his boss? Bro he’s preoccupied with his whole kingdom crumbling, grow up. 9/10

Lavatch (All’s Well That Ends Well) This is more meta but my hatred of this play would fuel me here. I would fight literally anyone in this play if given the chance, not a joke. I would get in the ring with literally anyone from this play, but honestly, out of them all I weirdly respect Lavatch the most, maybe because he at least knows that he’s a cunt, unlike literally everyone else who Just Suck. I do think he’s probably scrappy though, so I wouldn’t leave unscathed. I also think if he got the upper hand he would be so so awful about it, so I’d really have to fight. 6/10

Sir Toby Belch & Sir Andrew Aguecheek (Twelfth Night)  Andrew is canonically bad at fighting, and honestly I do not believe Toby would be any better. Love both of these guys but if I had to fight them both at once I think I would be able to just move out of the way and they’d bonk each other on the head like a cartoon. They’re just silly guys. 9/10

Maria (Twelfth Night) Every woman clown could beat my ass. Audrey, Jaquenetta, Maria, they are all so special to me and would all also fucking destroy me. Maria especially cause I just know she is full of hate. You don’t hatch a plan like the Malvolio plan unless there’s something deeply worrying about you. She’s a Scorpio to me. <3 I do love her, she’d demolish me. 0/10

Feste (Twelfth Night) Would actually kill me. -5/10

I know I’ve definitely missed some but uhhh don’t expect me to remember every clown even if I’m neurodivergent about these plays please. <3

#long post #shakespeare #shakespeare memes #a midsummer night's dream #as you like it #winter's tale #henry iv #merry wives of windsor #comedy of errors #merchant of venice #two gentlemen of verona #macbeth #the tempest #much ado about nothing #romeo and juliet #love's labour's lost #king lear #all's well that ends well #twelfth night #macbooth original

[unicornofthemidwest]

something about shakespeare's missing mothers. something about love in the Tempest with Prospero's little remembrances of his wife, along the absence of Ferdinand's mother. something about fathers and fathers and fathers in King Lear, fathers without mothers, fathers alone like Lear or fathers glibly dismissing mothers like Gloucester. something about unaddressed grief rotting the cores of the tragedies without mothers, something about a touch of sadness and missing mothers in comedies. Something about Beatrice saying her mother cried when she was born, Beatrice talking about her mother in a show without mothers. something about Helena's biological mother never being mentioned but the Countess calling her her own child, something about the widow helping her without questions, all's well creating mothers and daughters out of nothing. something about mothers.

#shakespeare #barely coherent #god i wish I had the energy to write an essay #the tempest #king lear #much ado about nothing #all's well that ends well #mothers in shakespeare

[misslevel]

Don't just vote for your fave play, vote for your fave title drop!

If you have another one that I missed, put it in the tags and I might make a second poll!

#shakespeare #all's well that ends well #comedy of errors #measure for measure #merry wives of windsor #midsummer night's dream #taming of the shrew #the tempest #twelfth night #winter's tale #richard iii #antony and cleopatra #romeo and juliet #shakespearepolls

[uwmspeccoll]

Shakespeare Weekend!

This weekend we return to Nicholas Rowe’s (1674-1718) The Work of Mr. William Shakespear; in Six Volumes. Published in London in 1709 by Jacob Tonson (1655-1736), perhaps the most prolific of Shakespeare publishers, this second edition holds an important place within Shakespearean publication history. The Work of Mr. William Shakespear; in Six Volumes is recognized as the first octavo edition, the first illustrated edition, the first critically edited edition, and the first to present a biography of the poet.  

This week, we introduce you to the second which consists of all comedies, including A Midsummer-Night's Dream, Merchant of Venice, As You Like It, Taming of the Shrew, All’s Well that Ends Well, Twelfth-Night; or What You Will, and The Winter’s Tale. A full-page engraving by the French Baroque artist and book illustrator François Boitard (1670-1715) precedes each play. 

In addition to Rowe’s editorial decisions to divide the plays into scenes and include notes on the entrances and exits of the players, he also normalised the spelling of names and included a dramatis personae preceding each play. The only chronicled critique of Rowe’s momentous editorial endeavor is his choice in basing his text on the corrupt Fourth Folio. 

Perhaps of interest to some of our readers is the exceptional use of signature marks and catchwords throughout the volumes of The Work of Mr. William Shakespear; in Six Volumes. Found on the bottom of the pages, the signature marks and catchwords helped the bookbinder or printer make sure the pages were sent to the press in the right order and that subsequent leaves were bound in the correct order. Signature marks through the use of a letter and number combination marking the first page of a leaf or section, and catchwords by way of anticipating the first word of the following page.  

View more volumes of The Works of Mr. William Shakespear; in Six Volumes here.

View more Shakespeare Weekend posts.

-Jenna, Special Collections Graduate Intern

#Shakespeare Weekend #William Shakespeare #Shakespeare #Nicholas Rowe #The Works of Mr. William Shakespear #Jacob Tonson #François Boitard #A Midsummer Night's Dream #Merchant of Venice #As You Like It #Taming of the Shrew #All's Well That Ends Well #Twelfth-Night or What You Will #The Winter's tale #signature mark #catchword #etching

[bethanydelleman]

Angelo 🤝 Bertram

Shakespearean men who can't tell women apart in the dark

#measure for measure #all's well that ends well #I mean I guess it worked on Jacob from the bible too #but really dudes? REALLY? #It's a little dark and you can't tell that you're sleeping with the wrong girl?

[socialshakespeare]

Shakes-Tourney, Round 1

(summaries from shakespeare.org.uk; further summaries and propaganda encouraged)

All's Well That Ends Well: Helen saves the King's life, he gives her his son to marry, who runs away from her, and she tricks him into impregnating her. Everything ends happily…?

Macbeth: Macbeth hears that he is going to be king; he and Lady Macbeth kill people so he can become king; both of them die.

#shakespeare #all's well that ends well #macbeth #poll

[virtchandmoir]

Tessa's Instagram Story (September 8th)

#tessa #off ice #candid life #social media #all's well that ends well

[mariacallous]

Whether in classical or modern drama, I fight for the right to portray women who are as contradictory, complex and diverse as the women I see all around me, and I uphold my right to present ordinary, flawed women at the heart of a play.

Dame Harriet Walter, from Brutus and Other Heroines: Playing Shakespeare's Roles for Women (specifically from her section about playing Helena in All's Well That Ends Well)

#dame harriet walter #shakespeare #all's well that ends well

[iamnmbr3]

Me: names are hard. guess I suck as a writer.

Shakespeare: im writing a female character who purses a man who initially violently rejects her but who she ultimately gets together with. what should I call her? damnit i can't think of anything. oh wait. i wrote this before! I'll just call her Helena again. Good one Will. problem solved.

#humor #writing #gen #Shakespeare #random musings #all's well that ends well #a midsummer night's dream

[joshbruh10x]

Know what forget getting freddy coffee... Want to hang out with monty at the arcade area and play all the arcade games with him.

FREDDY THE COFFEE ADDICT ARC ENDED YAY

I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE NOW

#btw monty still has the gatorade fruit bowl and bonnie still has your white chocolate <3 #montgomery gator #glamrock freddy #glamrock bonnie #fazcule #joshblogs #askjosh #anon ask #all's well that ends well

[atariforce]

All's Well That Ends Well by Douglas Blanchard

#Atari #Atari 2600 #William Shakespeare #All's Well That Ends Well #parody #illustration #graphic design #video games #retro gaming #Douglas Blanchard

[unicornofthemidwest]

looooove stories that are like. Yes, you can change, Yes, you can get better. But you're going to have to break down everything you ever thought about yourself and lose your whole sense of identity because the core is rotten. Yes, you might be okay at the end but you won't be the same.

#tropes #analysis #kinda sorta #king lear #succession #all's well that ends well #groundhog day #narratives #identity #i am chewing on the furniture rn sooooo normal

[misslevel]

Shakespeare poll tag, for all the different genres!

#shakespeare #all's well that ends well #measure for measure #merchant of venice #timon of athens #troilus and cressida #winter's tale #shakespearepolls

[saveugoodmadam]

he but not him bc I'll never be him 🤩🤩🤩

#matthew duckett #uksies #my left/right foot #all's well that ends well #richard iii #macbeth #operation epsilon #Shakespeare Abridged #Private Peaceful

[suits-of-woe]

Here’s my confession: I don’t love my wife. Confession’s probably the wrong word, though. Since it’s not like I can tell anyone. Everyone around here thinks we got our perfect miracle of a storybook ending, so maybe I’m the one who’s wrong for not wanting it. Maybe I deserve this. My happily ever after.

aka shakespeare's all's well that ends well but helen is a necromancer. bertram can't escape his happy ending.

#all's well that ends well #shakespeare #as promised. my stupid brainrot. #i think about all's well i really do. plays that need to be performed as significantly more unhinged. #i also wrote my whole thesis about this play in a way that is MOSTLY not related to this story but i think about helen writing the narrativ #i think about comic horror and go crazy #my writing

[macbooth]

i just realised i should probably make a post for the polls by itself.

whatever. submit your shakespeare sluts.

#do not open these tags i have tagged literally every shakespeare play i can under here #shakespeare #shakespeare memes #poll bracket #mmm time to tag every play oops #all's well that ends well #antony and cleopatra #as you like it #comedy of errors #coriolanus #hamlet #henry v #henry viii #julius caesar #king lear #love's labour's lost #macbeth #measure for measure #merry wives of windsor #a midsummer night's dream #much ado about nothing #othello #pericles #richard ii #romeo and juliet #taming of the shrew #twelfth night