#all of this is happening at roughly the same time right

[wanderinginksplot-writes]

Gar Cyare Chapter Twelve

Finally back after an unexpected year-long hiatus!

Word Count: 4,400

Warnings: Implied threats, definite threats, mentions of genetic experimentation, suspicion, mentions of the Attack on Kamino, fear.

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Ca'tra (Night Sky)

Your office looked roughly the same as it always had. Bland Kaminoan architecture dressed in shades of white, gray, and black held a collection of furniture that had been built with the clear emphasis of function over form. Your datapads were untouched, as were the slight hints of mess around the edges of your desk. 

But everything seemed a little strange with the light… or, more accurately, the lack of it. 

The shutters that covered all of the exterior-facing windows on Kamino were closed, both protecting you from any attempt to break through the transparisteel and keeping you from seeing anything that might be happening outside. 

Though nighttime had fallen and the Kaminoan skies had been dark with clouds when the shields lowered, there was still plenty to see. The GAR had recalled all personnel in the sector to Kamino. There was too much chance that the Separatists could come back. This time, they could use the knowledge they had gathered during the last invasion - plus any new intel - to destroy the Fett genetic sample for good. 

The arrival of new ships was nearly constant, and you had heard chatter from the cadets that at least two Venator-class Star Destroyers were guarding the areas just beyond Kamino’s atmosphere. Any ships that intended to land had been issued special clearance codes. If they failed to deliver them at the right time or on the right frequency, they would be shot down upon breaking atmosphere. 

You hadn’t heard the anti-aircraft guns fire yet, so you were fairly confident that there had been no actual invasion. 

Still, you itched to see beyond the barriers, though you knew your reasoning was senseless. You wouldn’t see Alpha coming back. General Ti had told you that he would be gone at least another twelve hours, but your mind kept insisting that you would be able to watch him land in relative safety. 

If you were being honest with yourself, that was why you were still in your office instead of your bedroom. Sure, you could pretend that you were there in case General Ti or Commander Colt needed something from you, but in all reality, it was because you were filled with dread at the idea of returning to your empty quarters.

You already hated the idea that Alpha was out in the galaxy when there were potentially Separatists in the area, but to be reminded of it every time you looked around your bedroom? No, you were perfectly content in your office. 

A knock on your door made you sit upright. “Yes?” 

Your hammering heart gradually slowed as Commander Colt peered inside. “Why are you still awake?” 

You shrugged. “Too nervous to sleep, I guess.” 

A frown creased the space between the commander’s eyebrows as he stepped into your office. “You should get some rest while you can. If we are invaded, you need to be at full awareness.” 

That wasn’t exactly comforting, but you nodded. 

“Sorry,” Commander Colt said abruptly. “Probably didn’t help anything, huh?” 

“Not exactly,” you admitted. The concern for your nerves was surprising, more something you would have expected from Alpha. Suddenly, you wondered if the commander had come to find you because Alpha had asked him to. “Have you heard from Alpha?” 

He shook his head. “No, why? Have you?” 

“No.” You sighed. “I thought that might be why you’re here.”

“Limit asked me to check on you,” he told you. That made more sense, but before you could say so, Commander Colt added, “I was already on my way.” 

“Oh.” You toyed with a datapad on your desk to distract yourself from how slowly time was passing. “Why?” 

“Alpha cares about you,” he explained slowly. “More than anyone else.” 

You chuckled softly. “I know I’m his favorite nat-born.” 

Commander Colt shook his head slightly. “You’re his favorite person. He cares about you more than anyone else. Between how much he likes you and how much you’ve done to take care of him - and all my brothers, actually - you’re vod’ika.” 

Little sibling. 

The term made your chest warm with pleasure. “Thank you, Colt.” 

Colt cleared his throat. “Anyway, how are you handling all of this?” 

You took a deep breath. “I’m fine, I suppose. I’m just so… sick of being on Kamino when it goes on lockdown.” 

For a full beat after you had finished speaking, Colt stared at you. At last, he burst out laughing. “I thought you were going to be scared.” 

“I might be eventually,” you said with a shrug. “But right now, I can only think about how I’ve been here every time the lab has been locked down. I understand it’s important, but it’s getting old.”

Colt nodded in commiseration and you gave him a considering look. “Are you okay?”

“Me?” he repeated, seeming stunned when you nodded. “What do you mean?” 

You glanced at your desk, trying to buy some time to find the right phrasing. “The last time there was an invasion, you were hurt pretty badly. I don’t remember it, but Alpha was shaken up and that takes a lot. I gather that it was… close. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m fine,” Colt insisted. You weren’t sure about that, but if pretending was how he got through things, you weren’t going to begrudge him the coping mechanism. He turned as if to leave, but stopped before he stepped through your door. “Go to sleep soon, yeah? Limit’s working a long shift to get the medbays prepped, but he asked me to pass on a warning. If he comes by and you’re still here, he’ll tell Alpha.” 

You laughed at that despite yourself. “He probably would.”

Colt chuckled too, patting the doorframe in a gesture that seemed to punctuate his departure. “Goodnight, vod’ika.”

“Goodnight, Colt.”

When you were alone once more, you started getting everything put away for the night… but paused when your datapad slipped from your fingers and clattered against the surface of the table. The screen flickered on in the collision and you frowned, pulling it closer. 

Displaying on the screen were the records that you had been digging into before all of the investigation and shutdown chaos, records you hadn’t been able to finish accessing because you had run out of time. You had told Colt that you would go to bed and you didn’t intend to lie… but this was too intriguing to leave for the next day. 

It was fine, you reasoned. You weren’t tired yet and there was finally time to do some digging. 

Hidden behind a maze of misnamed file pathways and a selection of different passcodes, you found it: records of the clone trooper gene isolation process. The records were old, written when Ko Sai was the Chief Scientist of Kamino. She had been an integral part of creating the clone trooper genetic blueprint. 

That had confused you at first. They were clones of Jango Fett - why would the genes need to be altered at all? But even skimming the notes had been enough to give you an answer: the clone troopers weren’t exact genetic copies at all. Ko Sai had made some changes to make the troopers more loyal, less independent, and less vicious. 

There were a few outliers - especially in the early batches of troopers - and creating any living thing came with risks of aberrations in the genetics, but the experiments had been successful. That was according to Ko Sai’s notes, of course, but they were dry and scientific enough that you assumed the wasn’t much risk of them being exaggerated. 

The changes to trooper personalities were in a group Ko Sai referred to as ‘behavioral traits’. The more chilling half was designated as ‘genetic traits’. 

Genetic traits seemed to be the way the Kaminoans referred to the changes they made to keep themselves in business. Not only did they control things like troopers building muscle faster, but mercilessly capitalistic qualities like the troopers’ accelerated aging process. 

You didn’t like the idea of the changes that had been made to the troopers genes. You were self-reflective enough to realize that part of your aversion was because you didn’t like the idea of gene manipulation in general. The accelerated aging was particular egregious to you since it was actively working to decrease the amount of time you could possibly spend with Alpha. 

But the notes fascinated you - not because of their content, but because through them you could tell that Ko Sai was a deeply paranoid being. 

The records were sealed with a virtual warning: if someone without the proper security codes attempted to slice into them, the files would self-destruct. And not just the files on the record you were viewing. No, the trap would wipe every known copy of the records from any device. The trigger had been built into the file transfer itself and could be detonated at any time.

Your interest was piqued. You had been given full access to everything you needed for your report and had the highest possible security clearance, but you still held your breath as you typed in your access code. 

Thankfully, it worked and you spent a blissful hour reading through all of Ko Sai’s notes and records. A lot of it was gibberish to you and - you suspected - would be to anyone other than a highly-trained geneticist. 

As the hour grew later and you started to worry that Limit really would come to kick you out, you tried to make a copy of the files onto your datapad, but were blocked. You weren’t sure what kind of scientist would keep her files from being copied, but she must have been very certain that she would be able to access that information in other places. 

Before you shut down the datapad entirely, you found a microscopic file attached in the shell of an unrelated topic. It was a simple document that you might have overlooked… if it didn’t force you to enter your password once more. From what you gathered once you could view the vague document, Ko Sai had made copies of all of her information. She had stored them on a collection of personal datapads. 

The description of where to find them was heavily coded, but you gamely copied it onto your own datapad. Then, feeling an echo of Ko Sai’s paranoia, you also jotted it down onto a nearby piece of flimsi. With other topics for the report running thin, maybe finding the original notes from Ko Sai’s experiments would be a good way to extend your assignment.

You spent a few moments staring at the code, jotting some preliminary guesses down beneath the characters. The most common letters were likely overrepresented among the words, unless Ko Sai had been using a rotational cipher. You wouldn’t put it past her, but even rotational ciphers weren’t impossible to figure out.

Cracking the code and extending your report-writing process were things that could wait. You tucked the datapad and flimsi into your bag and shut off the lights in your office. Too much longer and you were worried you really would run into Limit, but you were bringing the codes along for insurance in case it turned into a sleepless night.

Sometimes it was good to have an office so far from your quarters. It kept you involved in the day-to-day life on Kamino and took you through some highly populated areas on the trip. And with the hours you worked, you could use the exercise. But it was an unpleasant trip late at night, when all you wanted was to crawl into bed.

Perhaps you wouldn’t have minded walking through the main sections of Kamino if they weren’t full of cadets giving you suspicious looks. 

It seemed like you had just convinced everyone that you hadn’t caused the first invasion of Kamino. No one had told the cadets many details about what had caused this lockdown, but they paid enough attention to know that you were close to the situation. 

After a few hallways of those wary glances, you cut down a side path. The slightly longer trip was a price you gladly paid in exchange for avoiding all of the watchful eyes. 

You found yourself in a section of the city that housed the learning terminals. They weren’t currently in use - all flash training had been suspended while Kamino was on lockdown and there was no reason for anyone but a cadet to be in the terminal rooms. 

So why were you hearing adult voices coming from one? 

You peeked in through the partially open door, taking in the scene in a millisecond: There were six troopers in the room. Two of them were working at one of the terminals while the other four were observing the display screen at the front of the room. 

Surprisingly, you recognized the troopers. They had arrived on Kamino earlier that day. They weren’t the first to land on-planet after the lockdown had started, but they were one of the earlier groups. 

The reason they had attracted your attention was because of the reaction of the cadets. Most arrivals on Kamino before and after the six troopers were met with warm welcomes (and often a little teasing) from the cadets. But these six were given a wary distance. They didn’t seem bothered by it - in fact, they had seemed to accept that wariness as their due. 

Their attitude struck you as strange. The troopers were loyal, and that quality apparently went down to a genetic level. The idea of troopers who didn’t seem to feel that draw to be close with their brothers was unique, and you were very curious to know how that uniqueness had managed to survive long enough to leave Kamino at all. 

Of course, that curiosity was secondary to their motivations with the learning terminals.

You recognized the file pathways displayed at the front of the room: these troopers were trying to slice into Ko Sai’s private records. 

Perhaps it wouldn’t have been such a crisis if the Kaminoans hadn’t told General Ti that they intended to launch a full investigation of their information. They needed to find out what had been sliced, duplicated, or downloaded. And to get all of that done, they needed to shut down terminal access and cycle all codes and passwords. It was only with the General’s interference that you had managed to retain your own access. 

You were willing to bet that these troopers, whoever they were, didn’t have the same privileges you held. In that case, there was a very real risk that they were about to trigger a complete wipe of Ko Sai’s library of records. 

“Stop!” you cried, bursting through the doors before you could temper your reaction. 

Unsurprisingly, you were met with four drawn blasters. The two troopers at the terminal continued to work, but the others stared at you. 

“Who are you?” one demanded flatly. 

Your hands had risen instinctively, hovering palm-out as you tried very hard to look nonthreatening. “I’m an administrator. I was sent here by the Senate to write a report about the clone troopers.” 

“Proof?” another trooper asked. 

“You can ask anyone about me,” you said quickly, lamenting that you didn’t wear your Senate ID badge on a regular basis. You hadn’t since your first week on Kamino. “I’ve been here for a while.” 

They looked skeptical, but your attention was focused on the large display screen at the front of the room. 

“Please, you have to stop,” you warned them, your desperation rising as you watched a password entry box appear. “Don’t put in your password! Ko Sai-”

The trooper at the terminal had finished entering his password and submitted it without paying any attention to you. A moment later, the screen flashed red and an ominous timer started counting down. 

“Ko Sai put a self-destruct code into her records,” you finished lamely. 

One of the trooper holstered his blaster and turned to look at the display screen, swearing in Mando’a. “Jaing, can you stop it?” 

“Trying…” one of the troopers at the terminal replied.

You watched just as intently as the troopers did - the ones who weren’t aiming blasters at you, anyway. Only moments later, the trooper stopped typing, a slight slackening in his muscles serving as your only hint of the outcome. The trooper beside him swore colorfully. 

“It’s all gone,” one of the troopers summarized, still watching you for any sign of a fight. 

“Yes.” The one who had been working to circumvent Ko Sai’s trap stood - he had answered to the name ‘Jaing’ - neatly replacing the chair at the terminal. “What now?” 

“Now,” the trooper who had put his blaster away said grimly, “we find out a little more about our new friend.” 

“Always liked meeting new people,” the other trooper at the terminal said with a sharp grin, joining the others.

They were standing around you in a loose semi-circle. Three still held blasters aimed at you, so you stayed in your nonthreatening pose. 

“Who are you?” 

You took a breath, trying to keep from sounding scared. “I’m a Republic administrator, sent by the Senate-”

“You said that already,” a previously silent trooper told you, sounding unimpressed. 

“That’s because it’s true.” 

The one you privately thought of as the leader crossed his arms. “Never said it wasn’t. Doesn’t mean we should care.” 

“Ordo,” one of the others warned quietly. 

A chill went down your spine as you realized the rationale behind the warning: if these men didn’t care about your position as a representative of the Galactic Senate, there was something else motivating them. 

“Are you involved in the infiltration of Kamino?” 

One of the troopers laughed abruptly, the sound loud enough to make you flinch. “What are you talking about, civvie?” 

“How else would you have arrived so early?” you asked, voice soft as you fell into musing the convoluted pathways of logic. “You weren’t the first ones here, but you weren’t far behind. No one should have been traveling through this sector outside of official missions and you weren’t on one of those. And now you’re here, looking at top-secret information about the genetic basis of the clone trooper program. I told you I’m a Senate representative and you’re still thinking about shooting me.”

“See, this is what happens when nat-borns try to think,” one of the men said, chuckling. It was a good act, but you could see the utter lack of emotion in his eyes. “You’re seeing patterns that don’t exist.”

“No,” you refused decisively. “There are too many strange coincidences here. My gut is saying something is off. Why are you here?”

“I have a better question,” Ordo countered. “How did you know about the data wipe code in those files?”

“How did you know about those files at all?” another asked.

“Good point, Mereel,” Ordo congratulated, turning pointedly to face you. “How did you know about Ko Sai’s private holorecords?”

“I’m writing a report about clone troopers,” you repeated firmly. “I was given access to pull from all sources in order to make my report as complete as possible.” 

“Wait,” Jaing ordered, stepping forward. His gaze was intense as he asked, “Do you have a copy of Ko Sai’s data?” 

“No.” The tension lowered slightly, but Jaing was still watching you. “She built in a feature that doesn’t allow for any of the files to be copied.”

“So,” one of the unnamed troopers asked. “Should we neutralize her here or somewhere easier to clean up?” 

You struggled to stay impassive even as your stomach dropped. 

“Udesii, A’den,” Mereel said, holding a hand out. “Killing a Senate representative may not be the best move here.” 

“Why not?” A’den asked, grinning at you. “Planet’s already on lockdown. The long-necks’ll probably think their spy was the one who did it. I doubt if anyone has seen this one since things went dark.”

You straightened, giving him your coldest look. “Commander Colt would disagree with you. As would Captain Alpha-17.” 

The group had grown quiet at Colt’s name, but noticeably relaxed when you mentioned Alpha. 

“Nice try, civvie,” Ordo told you. “Seventeen is off-planet. Probably will be for a while, with the mess they walked into.” 

“What did you do to him?” you demanded, taking a furious and unwise step forward. The blaster barrels weren’t quite touching you, but they weren’t much more than a deep breath away. “If you hurt him-”

“Fiery little thing, isn’t she?” one of the others asked, grinning at the others even as his grip on the blaster stayed firm. 

“So much concern about clones,” A’den mocked. “Don’t you know we’re disposable?” 

“Speaking of,” one of the others interrupted, “she knows who we are and what we were looking for. We need to take care of this before we leave the planet.” 

Jaing lifted a brow at him. “Does that mean you’ve got an idea, Prudii?” 

“The balconies off the lower platforms were always useful. Cuts down on the mess and the body falls right into the sea,” Prudii said with a shrug. One of the others snorted and Prudii frowned at him. “Problem, Komr’k?” 

Komr’k shook his head, clearly fighting a smile. You waited with the others. Nothing seemed to be particularly amusing about the conversation, but perhaps it was just because it was your death that they were discussing. “Just thinking of all the applications of the term ‘aiwha-bait’.”

The reactions ranged from smirks to eye-rolls, but no one seemed to share your growing feeling of nausea. It probably wouldn’t hurt, so long as they executed you with a blaster bolt to the head, but you were getting a little dizzy as you thought about what would happen to your body after you died. And, of course, there were the people you would leave behind. 

No. 

It took some effort, but you pulled yourself out of the spiral you were drifting into. You had survived the Separatist attack on Kamino. You had faced down Ventress, working with some of the best soldiers in the galaxy to make it through the experience relatively unharmed. You could survive this, too. You would. 

The training terminals weren’t close to the lower balconies, not by a long shot. You had visited the balconies many times with Alpha. You knew the area well. There would be plenty of places to attract attention or slip away. And if you couldn’t manage to do either, you would make it loud and violent, enough to attract attention. 

“Let’s get moving,” Ordo ordered as A’den gestured toward the room’s entrance with his blaster. “Don’t do anything stupid.” 

You lifted your chin as you stepped toward the door. Could he see the determination on your face? You almost hoped he could. You wouldn’t passively accept being executed. A hand grabbed your shoulder, tugging so roughly that you stumbled forward.

“Someone should have given you the same warning, Ordo,” Alpha said menacingly, sweeping you through the doorway and behind him. He was in full armor, blocking the doorway with his bulk. 

“Alpha, no!” you urged him. “They have blasters.” 

“So do I,” he said, voice steely. “Plus enough detonators to make the first invasion look like a training mishap.” 

“We have some business with the civvie,” one of the troopers started. It was much more difficult to tell who was speaking when you couldn’t see any of them, but it didn’t matter. Alpha interrupted before anyone could say more than that. 

“Ulyc sushir,” Alpha said menacingly. Even from behind him, his voice rumbled through your chest. “You men are going to stand down. Forget whatever little geroya you had going with her. You’re going to let us walk away. If you think you have anything else to say to her - unlikely - you will go through me. Understood?” 

There was no answer. The next moment, Alpha repeated, “Understood?”

“Copy.” 

That single word seemed to be as far as the troopers were willing to go. Alpha took a step back, carefully keeping himself between you and the others until you were out of sight. 

��Who-?” 

“Wait.” 

You didn’t love being commanded like an animal, but considering that he had likely saved your life, you followed Alpha’s instruction. 

He activated his comlink, keying in a code from memory. 

The voice on the other end - male, older but not elderly - answered almost immediately. “Alph-”

“Call off your dogs,” Alpha demanded, durasteel in his tone. 

“If you’re talking about my boys, they’re on assignment on Kamino.” The voice was genial, friendly, almost paternal. Still, there was a sly undertone that warned you there was something more happening. “I have no say in what they do there.”

“They almost killed a civilian.” Alpha glanced at you, as if worried that you would be startled by his blunt appraisal of the situation. You didn’t react - you had known where things had been headed. “I need to be sure they won’t try it a second time.” 

“The only reason a civilian would be in danger is if they interfered,” the man said. “Dangerous thing in a warzone.” 

“Keep them under control or I’ll send you the tags.”

The staticky silence on the comlink turned deafening, almost icy. “We’ve never had reason to argue, Seventeen. If you push this, I guarantee that will change. You don’t want a revenge-driven mando on your shebs.”

“And you don’t want me to take a closer look at who wiped Dengar’s records from the Kaminoan databases,” Alpha countered. “The civvie is off-limits, Skirata. Tell them before we have a misunderstanding.” 

“You have to understand what they’re working for,” Skirata wheedled. “It’s important to them. To all of you. One civilian loss is a low price to pay.”

“Off. Limits.” Alpha bit out sharply. 

The quiet stretched as both sides battled for supremacy. Eventually, Skirata sighed. “I’ll see what I can do. But you know how clever my boys can be when they have an obstacle to get around.”

“Warn them,” Alpha advised, “or you’ll all find out how clever I can be.” 

“None of us are di’kutla enough to underestimate you, Alpha,” Skirata said, sounding a bit amused. “I only wish you’d find your way to working with us instead of against us.”

“Not as long as you’re trying to take out innocent civilians,” Alpha told him, severing the connection before Skirata could respond. 

“Now you,” Alpha said, glancing back over his shoulder. It wasn’t an easy motion to accomplish while wearing full armor and a helmet, so you moved to walk beside him. Just as well - trailing behind him like a lost tooka wasn’t your favorite thing. 

When you were next to him, Alpha removed his helmet and gave you a hard look. “How much do you understand about what just happened?” 

“Not much,” you admitted. “I know those troopers were trying to access Ko Sai’s records, even when I warned them not to. Who are they?” 

“They are known as the Null-class troopers,” Alpha told you slowly. “The first clones of Jango that the Kaminoans ever created.” 

“I thought the Alpha-class troopers were the first.” You were working from the assumption that no part of the conversation was going to offend Alpha, but you studied his expression for any hint of displeasure or hurt. 

“We were the first viable ones,” he explained. “The Nulls were too much like Jango. The Kaminii hadn’t figured out which genes to control for yet. The Null-class didn’t take orders, not to standard. Those six were slated for termination, but Kal Skirata saved them. He had just landed on-planet, a Mando mercenary hired by Jango to train the troopers.”

“Those six?” you echoed. “Were there other Nulls?” 

“There were twelve.” 

You swallowed against the bile that was trying to rise from your twisting stomach. “What happened to the other six?” 

“Embryos weren’t viable,” Alpha said shortly. “They never made it past that point. The six you just met are the only Nulls that ever existed and the only ones who ever will.”

“I… can’t say I’m upset about that,” you admitted.

Alpha huffed a near-silent laugh. “Why did you try to stop them from accessing Ko Sai’s files?” 

“She built a self-destruct trigger into them.” You were satisfied by the look of surprise on Alpha’s face. “Trying an incorrect password destroys all files on the system, and every remote copy that got saved. They didn’t realize their passwords had been locked down while the Kaminoans investigate their internal information.”

“And what was in the records?” he asked, guiding you around a corner with a hand against your back. You drank in the touch like it could sustain you. 

“Genetic information,” you answered. “I was reading it before I left my office. It was all about the way the Kaminoans had altered the Fett gene to create the ideal clone trooper personality. Ko Sai’s words, of course.”

Alpha grunted at that, but didn’t give any other response. 

“Do you think they’ll come back?” you asked after a few moments of silence. 

Alpha glanced sidelong at you. “Not if they know what’s good for them. But that’s why we’re going to your quarters. Better security.” 

You nodded. The two of you were close enough to your room that you didn’t feel the need to make any more conversation. As you entered the code to get into your room, you glanced back at Alpha. He was facing the hallway you had just come from, clearly keeping watch against anyone who might have followed you.

“I just need to brush my teeth, then the ‘fresher is all yours,” you said softly. 

Alpha grunted again, stepping through the door behind you. He worked on the interior panel, setting up additional security measures. There was no such thing as a slice-proof door panel, but those measures would give you some extra time if someone started working to get inside.

You left him to it, brushing your teeth and changing into pajamas before you left the refresher. Alpha had already removed his armor and dimmed the lights, sitting in just his body glove as he waited for the refresher. His leg jiggled with tension. 

As you stepped past each other, Alpha’s fingers rose to stroke down your forearm in a single gentle touch. Then he was inside the refresher and the shower water turned on as you listened. 

You had every intention of being awake when Alpha came back out, but you must have drifted off. The next thing you knew, the bed dipped as Alpha got under the covers behind you. His arm snaked around your torso, pulling you tight against him. You smiled, snuggling a little closer, but frowned. 

Alpha was trembling. 

There was a fine tremor running through his entire body, only perceptible now that you were close enough to feel it. His breathing was slightly irregular, easy enough to note now that you were looking out for it. 

Turning around in his arms wasn’t easy, especially when Alpha’s grip was so tight. But you managed, gently cupping his jaw when you were facing him. It was too dark to see, but the tightness of his jaw muscles under your palm was enough to know what he was feeling. 

“Alpha?” you asked softly. “Are you okay?” 

His breath left him in a shuddering exhale. “Almost lost you, neverd’ika.” 

“Never,” you assured him. “I would have found a way to get free. I wouldn’t leave you like that.” 

He laughed slightly. “You make it sound like a choice.”

“No choice at all,” you countered. “If my choices are between staying with you and letting someone take me away like that… I would have fought like hell.” 

Alpha was quiet, but you could feel the way his lips parted and closed over and over until he decided what he wanted to say. “The fact that you don’t seem concerned is enough to make me worry. Fear isn’t good, but it can keep you alive.” 

“You think I wasn’t scared?” you asked, letting your disbelief come through in your voice. “Alpha, I was terrified. Trem has been a great teacher, but I don’t think there’s much I could have done against six troopers. I think I’m in a bit of shock. When it all hits me, I’ll be a mess for a while.”

“I’ll take care of you if that happens.” 

Alpha’s vow made you smile. “I’ll gladly take you up on that. As long as you let me take care of you now.” 

He inched forward, searching blindly in the darkness until your lips met in a careful kiss. “I have a few ideas about what we could do.”

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Author's Note - There will be a spicy mini chapter to follow this one. Nothing vital to the plot happens in it - you will not miss anything if you choose not to read it. It will be posted on my NSFW alt account. If you don't know where that is, send me a message and I'll give you the username as long as you have 18+ in your bio. If you're under 18 and find it of your own accord, you're claiming to be mature enough to read adult content.

For those who have not read the Republic Commando series, the Null ARCs and Kal Skirata are fascinating characters! You're seeing them at their most ruthless here, but they have a lot of depth. They're on Kamino to complete their own mission, which can make them come off as antagonists, but life is rarely that simple.

My loose plan is to post one chapter every month, but the spicy chapters don't count toward that number. So I'll see you in a week or two for some 'quality time' with Alpha, and next month to see what happens after this!

I'm so glad to be back! Thank you to everyone who waited so patiently or sent words of encouragement. <3 For anyone new to this story, that long of a hiatus is not typical for me. I don't anticipate it happening again.

#gar cyare #gar cyare fic #alpha 17 #star wars #star wars legends #star wars fanfiction #reader insert #reader insert fic #captain alpha 17 #alpha 17 fic #alpha 17 x reader #alpha 17 x you #commander colt #null arcs #kal skirata

[foxufortunes]

So like, just to put my previous post about the Raven's undefeated streak, how game wise it's a nonsense and championship wise it makes a little more sense, into context and to expand my thoughts on it. Let's look at lacrosse. NCAA DV1 men's lacrosse has been going for around 50years now. So actually it was formed just a little before exy was invented and if we take Nora's confusing timeline, anywhere from a few years to 10 years before NCAA exy was approved. So, they're about the same age actually.

In that time there have been 14 teams who didn't lose a single match during a season, the record being 18 teams in a season (this makes the lacrosse championships closer to the exy fall season in scale). These notably, all came in as either #1 or #2 seeds. And of these teams only 2 have ever managed consecutive undefeated seasons. These are also the two teams with the most championships (Syracuse with 10 and Johns Hopkins with 9). Syracuse has the highest win percentage of 0.691 while John Hopkins is 4th on that list with 0.651. And the most championships any team has won in a row is 3.

With pro lacrosse, the longest undefeated winning streak is 22 games, and the most titles won by one team is 6 and the highest win percentage is 0.603.

Now, if we look at the Ravens. To be generous we'll only count the five years the Foxes have been up and running, when college exy is fully funded and exy players are some of the highest payed athletes in the world and their stadiums are some of the biggest in the world, and exy is an Olympic sport. And to match up a bit better with the lacrosse size, we'll only count the fall season and assume the distract the Ravens transferred from is roughly the same size and the SE District. With those perimeters that is an undefeated streak of 75 games, 5 championships and a win percentage of 1. (And overall, if we're generous and ignore the finer details of Nora's time line, and say NCAA exy has been in full swing for let's say 15 years and still restrict it to 15 matches for the fall season, that's still a conservative estimate of 15 titles in a row and a 225 game winning streak).

The idea that even this far in the two biggest competitors with massive, well funded teams, and (if I remember Nora's extra content correctly) who got in on the ground floor just a little after college exy was created (wasn't the first ever college exy game between EA and one of the big 3? I'm not looking at the EC sheet right now, forgive me but the timeline on exy is shaky anyway), have never won even a single game by a single point or in shoot outs, is utterly ridiculous. Sure, I could by they're undefeated as champions, but never a single game lost ever is ridiculous. And counter intuitive to the spread of your game. Not only are fans not interested in a sport where they know the outcome (in both well funded and less popular sports, this usually leads to fans either turning off or paying attention to lower leagues) but especially in small unpopular sports, there's a sense that you need to spread the talent around to make the sport interesting so people will watch it. For a sport just starting out like exy was back in the day, the idea that one team will always come out on top is a death sentence. Like, even the best teams in the world sometimes play teams they're supposed to beat easily and take them too lightly and lose (actually this is stupidly common and probably the sort of thing the Foxes would face all the time, and partly how some bottom of the league teams have done what the Foxes have done and won the entire seasons yes, looking at you Leicester Foxes winning at 5000-1 that one season.) and even if we like to pretend it's not a part of sport, bad days do actually happen and sometimes your team just plays a nightmare game or the other team just pops off and is at 110% and there is just nothing you can do.

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court

[renegadeontherunn]

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

#can you guys just imagine this scene w me for a minute #all of this is happening at roughly the same time right #so liam kills keradin. LOOKING LIKE KERADIN and completely ruining everything keradin has lived by his whole life #ruby stabs ciabatta with a twin water steel dagger to the one that killed her sister #liam then kills the pontifex in literally two hits #as she falls onto the book of st citrina watching her plans all crumble #and her final moments in CASTLE CANDY. THE RULING PALACE OF THE PEOPLE SHE SO DESPISES #AND OF WHOM SHE WANTS TO RID THE WORLD #amethar. payment day covered in his own blood. takes calroy down in a single blow #the fact that this is LITERALLY the pinnacle the climax the ultimate moment #like the whole battle and liam and keradin and ruby and ciabatta and the pontifex are all important #but this. amethar and cruller. the man who betrayed him and everyone he loves #the fact that he rolled a nat20 and got to use this never before seen/known ability of payment day #to truly bring about cruller’s payment day. i just. literally pass the save or die #and he died #‘for my sisters. for my daughter’ #god i love this so much #and i love them #fiona watches d20!!!!

[ickadori]

++ 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈/𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

[summary] sukuna wants to bone you and he makes it yuji’s problem.

[cws] fem reader. masturbation -> yuji. sukuna has vivid fantasies about reader v.v

Yuji thinks you’re a nice girl.

You’re funny, cute, sweet, and you’ve put him on his ass a few times during training and left him thoroughly impressed.

But he doesn’t like you … like, like you like you.

You’re cool to hang out with, play games with, train with, and sometimes he prefers you over Megumi when he’s thinking of getting up to some mischief—all in all, you’re a good friend, but that’s all he sees you as, a friend, and he’s sure you feel the same about him.

…

So why can’t he stop fisting his cock to thoughts of you? Because of that damned curse taking up residence inside of him — the dirty pervert.

Sukuna’s got a thing for you, a nasty thing that puts lewd images in Yuji’s mind and makes his hands and cock ache to touch you. And Yuji doesn’t want to think about these things, no! He doesn’t want to think about how you’d look on your knees, teary eyes looking up at him as your lips stretch wide around his cock. He doesn’t want to think about how you’d look knuckle deep in your pussy, back arched and toes pointed as you fucked yourself. He doesn’t want to think about how tight and warm and soft and perfect your cunt would feel wrapped around him, no, he doesn’t want to think about any of those things!

But that’s all Sukuna thinks about, everyday all day - Yuji gets no reprieve.

If he sees you in the morning, your usual smile on your face as you greet him with a ‘hey, itadori!’, an image of your smiling face is flashing through his mind, except this time there’s spurts of cum on your swollen lips and your tongue is lolling out, eagerly waiting for more.

If he happens to glance over at the wrong —right, Sukuna always snarks back— moment during training and see that Maki’s got you bent in a precarious position, suddenly all he can see is images of his cock slamming in and out of your cunt, puffy lips slick and your cum coating his base, coarse hairs there weighed down with his and yours essence.

It’s sick, perverted, and he can’t do a thing about it but what he’s doing right now in the privacy of his dorm; choking back moans as he fucks his fist to the thought of you, hips bucking up off the bed as Sukuna pushes forth an image of you sat atop him, doughy thighs bracketed around his hips, fingers splayed out on his chest as you meet his thrusts.

He swears he can feel it, feel you - feel the heat of your cunt wrapping around him, feel your slick coating his shaft and dripping down to his balls, feel your nails digging into his skin as your pussy flutters and you come—

“Fuck me.” Yuji doesn’t know if that came from him or Sukuna, and he doesn’t have time to think about it before another image is flashing, this one starring you with your face pushed down into the pillows, purple nails contrasting perfectly against your skin as he spreads your cheeks open to watch your cunt swallow up his cock.

Yuji groans as his thumb, big and calloused, roughly swipes over his leaking tip, hand tightening around his base as his heels dig into his mattress. There’s a pulling feeling at his cheek, and a fierce heat envelopes him as Sukuna’s deep drawl filters out in the room.

His words are rough, quick, breathy, and Yuji desperately wishes he’d shut the hell up because he doesn’t want to think about how ‘warm your pussy is’, or how it ‘probably squeezes real tight when you come’, or how your ‘tits bounce when you’re getting fucked’, or how you’ll probably ‘squeal, moan and cry like some bitch in heat when he plays with your little clit’—you’re his friend, and he yours, and it’s so fucking wrong to be thinking of you like this, and it’s all because of him.

The next and final image is a quick flash, no more than a second or two, and Yuji snaps his eyes shut as his teeth grind together, veins along the backs of his hand bulging as his cock twitches in his grip. Ah.

Your thighs are spread, gapped open and limp against the ruined sheets, while two of his fingers spread your lips open, a white gush of cum dripping out of your stretched hole and trailing down between your ass cheeks.

Yuji shudders, eyes slowly blinking open to see the mess he’s made on his stomach and chest, and he lets out a weak groan as he turns to bury his sweaty face into his pillow, already dreading the next onslaught of images that’re sure to bombard him soon.

#yuji x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[ridingthatd]

𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

choso, nanami, toji, itadori, etc...

contains: fem!reader, rough sex, teasing, dirty talk, multiple positions, masturbation, sub! , squirting, cumming through pants, etc...

choso kamo:

choso who would already be panting. out breath as you place a small kiss on his lips, his eyes hazily looking at you begging for more of your heated touches that causes his cock to stiffen in his pants. giving a full outline of his huge twitching cock that was resting on his thighs almost reaching his knees. it drives you mad how innocent his eyes were staring at your lips, wanting more, innocently not knowing what to do while he holds such a weapon between his legs.

"yes baby just like this open your mouth for me" you warm breath fan against his wet puffy lips- red from how long you have spent sucking on them, biting them between your teeth. choso stare at your lips hungrily as he slowly parts his lips, waiting for your next move. his breath hitch as you close the distance between you again- but this time something warm and wet slides through his lips, entering his mouth.

his eyes rolls at the sensation, at the same time you roll your tongue against his. sloppily sucking his tongue into your mouth. mixing your spit with his. it's your turn to gasp as choso whimpers before he shoves his whole body weight into yours. drool slips past your lips, and choso doesn't hesitate as he licks it up with his tongue before he slips his tongue back in. messily stroking his tongue against yours.

he looked like a dog in heat, his spit was everywhere mixing with yours. he was devouring your mouth like you just gave him his favorite treat. you moan into his mouth as you feel him rotting his fat cock against your thighs, before you feel his cock twitching and a warm wet liquid spurt into the fabric of his pants.

choso was whining into your lips, but he doesn't stop suckling. not even when his body trembls against yours from the sudden orgasm.

nanami kento:

nanami roughly place you on his lap as you make your way toward his desk. seductively yet teasingly swaying your hips. you knew these past few days nanami has been pant up because of work so you're here to make him feel better. you can feel how greedy he was from the way his large hands were rooming every inch of your body, sliding under the dress you were wearing and gripping your perky ass under your panties.

he places his nose in the crock of your neck. inhaling your scent in causing him to growl lowly. you can already feel his hard cock against your thighs. throbbing as you gently run your fingers through his blonde locks. messaging his sculp and placing kissing now and then. nanami finally raise his head from your neck and hungrily stare at you, wanting nothing more then to devour you right here.

"fuck i want to eat your wet pussy baby" he grumbles against your lips, as his fingers make their way to your cunt. his whole palm surrounding it. "can you please let me eat it?" he breathsly mutters, before he capture your lips in to his, groaning at the taste of you. he's been craving to have you like this. to feel your body heat on his.

it all seems to overwhelm him. your wet tongue messily sliding against his. your drool leaving your lips and landing on his. your thighs grinding against his leaking cock. your hot breath mixing with his. it all seems to set him off. because the next thing you knew.

nanami breaks off the kiss, throwing his head back against his chair. whimpering as you feel his cock throb, his fingers digging in into your thighs. your eyes trail down his pants. a growing wet spot now visible on it. he looks up at you, panting and speechless, confused expression on his face because this has never happened to him and he didn’t even know it was possible.

toji fushiguru:

"did ya miss me?" toji whispers into the shell of your ear, taking your lobe between his teeth to suckle on. you whimper had his gut tightening in arousal. a sigh escaped your lips as you gave him more access to kiss down your jaw and neck.

"mhm, it was lonely without you," a shiver crawls up your spine at toji's big hands caressing you. he licks up your neck, feeling a familiar bulge at your backside.

"I had to listen to you play with that sweet cunt through im not gonna wait no more" he grunts into your ear. back in that motel he had stroked his cock alongside your moans, filling his ears with the sounds of your wet pussy. you were so needy and slutty that night, whining filth into the phone while he was cities away.

toji roughly grabs your face and slam his lips into yours not giving you any time to complain. he growls into your mouth as you gently start suckling on his tongue, he breaks off the kiss leaving a string of spit connecting both of your tongues.

his body shakes heatness filling every inch of him. he couldn't help the whine that left him as his sensitive cock start twitching against his boxer. his balls swollen ready to empty any moment.

you stare at him confused as he hides his flushed face into your neck. "fuck baby the things that you do to me" he mutters waiting for his cock to calm down after the embarrassing orgasm he had.

itadori yuji:

itadori never did this before. of course he had a lot of heated moment with you inside your bed of his bed. but he never did anything outside. in public to be more specific. because your cute little boyfriend can't handle such thing, you would give him an innocent kiss on his neck and his cock would already be ragging ready to fuck you.

you would press your lips against his ear wanting to whisper something to him in class and he would already be biting on his lips holding back in a whimper as your warm breath tickles his sensitive ear. and the list goes on, something as simple as holding his hand in public would have him flushed and whinning about going back to your dorm for him to have your sweet pussy against him.

and today wasn't any difference. you were at your boyfriend basketball match. trying to support him and hype him up. and of course after the match he wins you sneak into his changing room to give him a little gift and congrats him.

but as soon as you enter his locker, itadori was all over you. pinning you against the locker just to shove his tongue directly into your mouth. luckily it was just you and him. the room was filled with the sloppy sounds that you're kissing made. it seems to turn you on because you found yourself placing your hand on his visible hard on.

but as soon as your hand make connect with his cock through the fabric of his shorts. itadori trembles. and you feel something squirting against the fabric. but that doesn't stop itadori from grabbing both of your thighs and holding your weight up.

walking over to the bench where he lays down and place your pussy directly on his face after all he needed some water after playing basketball.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fanfic #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #jjk x reader #choso smut #choso x reader #nanami smut #nanami x reader #toji smut #toji x reader #itadori smut #itadori x reader #choso kamo #choso #nanami kento #toji fushiguro #itadori yuji #geto smut #geto x reader #megumi smut #megumi x reader #jjk #choso x you #nanami x you

[inkskinned]

in the time loop the only way out is to leave her there but you don't ever leave her there, never in the roughly one thousand years you have been in the same day. it is probably like "50 first dates" but you haven't stooped so low as to watch "50 first dates" yet. (but who is to say what another thousand years of the same media will bring to you, maybe you will develop a new taste).

you spent about 200 of these years sulking in a bathtub or on the couch or staring at the seaside. 300 of them have been spent slowly mapping the geographical distance you can actually get before the time loop restarts. you have a list of favorite places: one library in Western Massachusetts called "The Bookmill", which has weird hours and has never raised an eyebrow to you arriving out-of-breath and panting, asking to see a specific book on a specific shelf. There is one beach without a name in North Carolina; it is an accident of geography and ownership title disputes - and it is pristine, untouched, warm and cozy. you've taken her on a lot of picnics there. Acadia National Park. One specific birdhouse in the mountains.

you were stuck in the time loop with the money you entered it with: not enough to rent a private jet. you've robbed a bank a few times, you don't like the way it ends. maybe next century you'll get the hang of it. you don't like the look on her face when you say hang on i have to stop at the bank.

you just have to leave her, and you can go back to being a person again. you took 5 years just catching a flight and sitting in the Grand Canyon. if there's one thing you regret more than anything, it's that you hadn't gotten your passport renewed before this fucking time loop. maybe you should spend some time learning forgery - but also, like, you look like an english teacher. nobody is going to be cool about you asking to see their paper printing machines.

the world is very big. that is one of the things groundhog day gets wrong. there are no consequences, so you have literally all the time (or none of the time?) in the world. in groundhog day, he does a lot of very cool things, but in reality - your muscle memory never gets better. you can't necessarily learn how to play piano or sculpt ice, because your hands never remember the practice. but hey - maybe you'll try violin next. drums. synth.

you can open any door and walk into any conversation. money isn't really an object. you can try every meal off every menu, forever. take her on helicopter tours and into every museum and on every event that is happening right-now at-this-moment. parades and funerals and calligraphy classes.

but you are somewhat trapped by the limitations of your body. if you were reading a book, you still need to get up and go back to the library and find that book again when the day resets. (thank god for the internet). it still takes like 2 hours to board a plane, and then takeoff and landing and traffic. you've gotten off to run around on the freeway. one of the little thankful things: since your brain isn't actually developing (it's a muscle too), the days thankfully don't feel shorter to you. that would be agony.

all you have to do to leave the timeloop is let that man get away with it. that's all. in every version of yourself - forever - you have stopped him.

the problem is that this experience has convinced you of the existence of the human soul. after all, how else are you forming memories? your very cells reset. information has to be transferred somehow. and if timeloops are real, you can convince yourself other magic exists. so you have two choices here: this hell, or the next. there might be a millennia where you have been worn down to the point you can accept fate's decision. this is just not one of them. ironically - she is the one thing you have left.

and besides! if you can't always find something new in your partner, aren't you failing them? there is something new about her, every day with the same morning. every brutal day with the same orange sunset.

after all, you wanted to live with her in heaven, in eternity, and, well - isn't this second-best.

#writeblr #warm up

[lunarmoves]

"can i have a kiss?"

you abruptly choke on the sip of water you'd been taking, your free hand coming up to cover your mouth as you cough roughly and loudly into your palm. it's enough to make your throat ache, and you barely register a large hand patting you on your back as you do your best to clear your windpipe.

"pardon?" you eventually force out, voice scratchy as you look up at sun through watering eyes. "what did you say?"

sun's head tilts to the side slightly. it's difficult to parse out what he's thinking with those blank eyes of his. "can i have a kiss?" he repeats for you in the same tone and inflection—light and casual like he's simply asking about the weather.

you blink owlishly at him, then glance around the empty daycare. maybe as an excuse to not look at him. everything was cleaned swiftly today, leaving you with some free time before you had to clock out. you just hadn't expected it to be spent like this, however. you clear your throat and look back at sun. his fingers curl and uncurl at his sides, barely noticeable had he not been standing stock still.

"...what's brought this on?" you ask after a short moment of silence. you're stalling, you know, but you're genuinely curious.

his head tilts the other way, a quiet click coming from his face plate. and then—like he hadn't just been standing before you, still as a statue—he jolts back into an amiable sway.

"oh, you know!" he gushes out, clasping his hands together and making the bells attached to his ribbons jingle with the motion. "we just see the way parents kiss their children at the door! and, well, those kids love to play house a lot too, you see. it's difficult not to notice it when it happens all the time! we are simply..." he trails off, as though searching for the right word. "...intrigued."

"right..." you're not quite buying what he's trying to say. hell, your ears are likely still tinged red from the initial embarrassment of his question. "you give kisses to the kids all the time, though," you point out. they aren't kisses so much as they are little taps of his static smile to their boo-boos or foreheads when they ask. you only know they're intended as kisses because sun lets out an exaggerated mwah every time.

sun only looks at you, something tense along the line of his thin shoulders. you wait, in the silence of the too large daycare, as he seems to ruminate upon something. and when he speaks, it makes something curl tightly in the deepest pit of your stomach.

"that's different," he replies quietly. a pin drops in the far distance.

your tongue suddenly feels too thick for your mouth and you swallow before you reply. "how so?" you find yourself asking. you... you don't quite understand. or maybe you don't want to. maybe you're looking for an answer you're not quite prepared to hear yet. maybe you are ready and you just don't realize it yet.

"they're not you." it's said simply—like saying the sky is blue or grass is green. your lips purse together. you refuse to admit how that makes you feel—how it makes something hot flood throughout your body.

"...there are cameras," you say weakly, trying to fight down the flush crawling up your neck and into your cheeks. was this really happening? was he really asking you this? it's just a kiss, you scold yourself. you're overreacting. he's a robot—it's not like it means anything to him. right? "i'm on shift. i could get fired." it doesn't matter if it's a friendly little peck—anything seen like that with a robot on cameras after the daycare has closed will be detrimental to your career.

"don't you worry your silly little head about that!" sun waves a hand in dismissal, his eyes upturned slightly into white crescents. there's a curve to his smile that you're only minutely wary of. "we've taken care of it!" ...whatever that means. you eye one of the cameras positioned near the ceiling of the daycare, the small red light on it frozen. you... aren't going to question that. you internally sigh.

sun's always curious—always pushing boundaries. always seeing how far he can go with you before you take a step back.

it seems like you'd taken too long to respond. sun closes the small distance between the two of you with a single, long stride, standing before you in a way that makes you crane your head up. your personal space is wiped out in an instant. he bends down until his face is mere inches above yours. and then he waits.

"don't be shy!" he tells you brightly, fingers flexing by his sides. one of his rays twitches atomically. "put 'er right here!" his face plate spins slightly as an indicator.

he's really not leaving you much room for choice here. you huff at his persistence, giving him a small roll of your eyes. and with a deep breath to help ground yourself—keep your head clear and look at this all from an objective standpoint (robot, he's a robot, he's curious, it doesn't mean anything)—you eventually raise yourself up on your tippy toes.

a kiss—as small and feathery as a wisp of wind on a cool, fall day—is pressed delicately to the plating of his forehead. the metal is cool under your touch, a contrast against the warmth of your skin. you don't let yourself linger, dropping back down onto your heels as you clear your throat and force yourself to look at him. he's still watching you—with that too large smile and too squinted eyes.

"there you go," you force out as casually as you can. there's something swarming in your gut and you're not sure if it's a good thing or not. "happy?"

sun's rays spin around once, but he doesn't move away. his smile stretches wider—thinner like a blade. and when he speaks, there's a faint depth to his voice that makes you think of the way moon speaks.

"you missed." he bends down closer to you, the shadows of his lithe form casting themselves across your face. he lifts a hand to tap once against the metal of his smile and the sound seems to echo through the daycare. you stare up at him with wide eyes, a cool prickle making its way down your spine. sun's face plate makes another sharp click. "do it again."

you mouth opens, then closes, until you finally muster up the will to let out a little laugh—albeit a slightly shaky one.

"c'mon, dude, i gave you a kiss." you let out another chuckle and find yourself leaning back just a tad. "i should head out now anyways, it's getting lat—"

before you can even finish your sentence, sun's hands dart out to grip you tightly on your upper arms. trapping you within his hold as he draws you closer. you're forced to look up at him, all tense lines and twitching metallic parts.

"you misunderstand, friend." sun grins wider, the gleam of his teeth sharp in the daycare's lighting. you take the smallest step back. "i wasn't asking."

moon

#u best BELIEVE moon's in there fuming sun got a kiss before he did LMFAOOO #...to be continued ?? #dca x reader #dca x y/n #dca x self insert #fnaf dca x reader #daycare attendant x reader #daycare attendant x y/n #daycare attendant x self insert #sun x you #sun x reader #sun x y/n #sun x self insert #fnaf sun x reader #fnaf sun x y/n #sundrop x reader #sundrop x y/n #bit of #moon x reader #if u squint #shay scribbles daydreams

[anantaru]

Hello Yoru!!<3 I wanted to ask you about your opinion about which Genshin men could eat the reader out the best 👀

~ dresvi.🚀 (Too shy to ask this off anon kdbdskkana)

including. neuvillette, alhaitham

cw. oral (fem! receiving), fem! reader

— ꒰ NEUVILLETTE ꒱

neuvillette was far too close to make this easy for you, reaching right in between your folds so he could nudge and play with the sensitive bolts of your pussy, leaning in to lick roughly at a searing spot that made you wince out in ecstasy, trembling underneath him.

your breathes and moans are much heavier than before, signalizing to neuvillette that he's doing everything right, however, the man believes that he had to do more, add something, before leaving a glimmering tumble of spit on your pussy as he spits on your cunt, a shimmering thread connecting you both from his lips to your folds.

you were moving together like water, your bodies complimenting each other as he gasps and grunts when trapping a bundle of flesh in between his lips before hollowing his cheeks, driving his whole body into making you cum as hard as possible and somehow managing to get better each time, his fingers clutching around your thighs at once so you'd never close them for him.

the friction of his wet muscle was near unbearable but then neuvillette flicks his tongue and digs it past your folds, your hands instantly taking a hold of his hair and messily grinding your cunt all over his lower face.

fuck, oh fuck, you moan and lose control of your body, twitch underneath his bigger one— too far gone to worry about any pathetic sounds keening from the back of your throat.

like a rasping, bottomless gasp, he answers your anticipation to do it again, neuvillette wants to feel you become so addictive to him until you simply cannot go a day without him closed off in between your legs, like neuvillette was damn near dying as he lays into you harder— tongue stroking faster, attacking your gaping hole again and again and again with his mouth, hoping that your smooth skin burned because it feels so good as you spasm against his face with a rough cry of his name, your hand clutching at his hair hard enough to damage the strands.

— ꒰ ALHAITHAM ꒱

by alhaitham's sixth movement, you notice how cold and ruthless it feels whenever he gets down on you, how rough and almost detached he shoves his head in between your thighs and how unmerciful— cruel, in order to have you experience something no one else was able to inflict on you.

it's like he knew your body better than you did, and was aware what spots he had to target to make you cum on his face.

and oh, quite certainly did he know that you're a total mess by now, his hands sweeping across your chest as they're preoccupied by your tits being sensitive underneath his palms.

you moan his name when he flicks his tongue over the hidden pearl and suckles on the flesh as his precise licks shoot a vibration buzzing on your cunt, the faintest trace of his wet muscle touching the edge of your body until you're like putty because of him.

now, you shove yourself up with one arm in order to get a better view on the mess happening in between your legs— tugging on his disheveled hair to roughly press him in your cunt, your ministration strong enough to make the scribe shamelessly groan into your pussy, the underlying burn of your fingers scratching at his scalp making him moan once more.

alhaitham's way of pleasuring you was so indifferent that you're wondering if he's the same boyfriend who'd read to you if you're having trouble sleeping or engages in deep talks in order to understand you better. alas currently, alhaitham has no need for this, because with his fat and heavy cock leaking through the fabric of his pants, he aches to be inside of you.

his hips stuttering into the mattress as he craves for more, more of your scent and more of your arousal slicking up his cheeks and chin— he looks beyond ruined and dirty, capturing your taunting pussy in a filthy-wet kiss as you arch your body off the bed and ride his face, bucking hard beneath two hands keeping you still, inviting anything and everything he did to you with an excited smirk on your mouth.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

#genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette smut #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham smut #neuvillette x you #alhaitham x you #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #al haitham x reader #al haitham smut

[runninriot]

...✍️

“I want that too, y’know. The touching and kissing, everything. But the problem is, that I- I want all that from someone I can’t have. And that sucks.” Steve chuckles bitterly.

Isn’t that funny? That there he is, the wonderful man that stole Eddie’s heart, being just as miserable, just as heartbroken as Eddie is. It’s hysterical, really. Eddie wants to laugh, wants to ask who Steve is talking about. Finds it impossible to think there could be a single person in this world that would pass on the opportunity to be with Steve in all the ways Eddie would kill for.

   “Guess that makes two of us,” Eddie confesses and Steve perks up at his words, opens and closes his mouth as if he, too, doesn’t know if it’s okay to dig deeper.

There’s a sadness in his eyes Eddie thinks must mirror his own; two sets of brown eyes searching for comfort in each other. Eddie feels so small, so angry for Steve and himself because love could be such a beautiful thing but isn’t when the rhythm of your heart doesn’t match the one it’s beating for. When love is a one way road with no exists.

   “What do you mean?” Steve asks but Eddie just shakes his head and smiles weakly, trying to take some of the heaviness away for both their sakes.

People don’t choose to fall in love, it just happens. And when it does, there is always a fifty-fifty chance that your love is requited. That the person you fell for likes you in the same way, wants you just like you want them.

Sadly, Eddie has yet to be one of the lucky ones to experience that. The real thing. And while they are still staring at each other, each wallowing in their own sorrow because being in love hurts – he realises that this is so much more than a stupid crush. That this goes deeper than anything he’s ever felt before. That maybe for the first time in his 25 years on earth he understands what true love feels like. Feels the crushing weight of it. Knows it won’t fade so easily. But-

   “You’ll always have me.”

He can pretend. He can be Steve’s friend even if it hurts. Eddie would rather pull his own heart out than not to have Steve in his life. He’d rather be Steve’s friend than nothing at all.

   “What?” Steve seems confused at his statement and Eddie can’t blame him.

   “I’m sorry you can’t have who you want but you’ll always have me.”

   “Why do you say that?”

   “Because I mean it, Steve. No matter what, you’ll always have me. It might not be enough for you and I get that. But for me, this is everything I need even if I can’t have all I want. You wanna know why I came home so early? Because when you texted me, I realised that I don’t need to be anywhere else, with anyone else.”

    I just wanna be here. With you.

Eddie bites his tongue to stop himself from saying more, knows he’s already said too much. Probably shouldn’t have said any of it.

The confusion in Steve’s eyes turns into something else – anger maybe? Frustration? He pulls away from Eddie, jumps up off the sofa and walks a few steps back.

   “You- you can’t just say things like that, Eddie.”

Eddie hates that there is so much space between them, so he stands too, approaches Steve like he would a scared animal, taking slow steps to close the distance between them.

   “I can’t say the truth?” He doesn’t think about his own words, just lets his emotions take over his brain and mouth, doesn’t care about the consequences.

   “N-no! You can’t just say it like it means more than what you’re actually saying. You’re doing this enigmatic bullshit I never understand because I’m too dumb to read between the lines!”

That causes Eddie to freeze on the spot. He’s only inches away from Steve now, could lift his arms easily to reach out for him. But Steve’s words stop him.

He’s right, isn’t he? Eddie does that a lot. Says only half of what he means or says one thing and means another entirely. He just never realised Steve knew. That he can see right through him.

   “You’re right,” he agrees.

Steve huffs annoyed, rubs his hands roughly over his face.

   “Then tell me what you mean. What you really mean.”

It doesn’t matter now, does it? He already said too much anyway. Steve is already onto him, knows Eddie is playing a game of hide and seek with himself – hiding the truth and seeking for an easy way out. But it’s too late to try and turn this conversation around.

   “What I mean is-“ Eddie takes a deep breath, summons all the courage he can find in himself. “It makes two of us because I feel that same way you do. Wanting someone I can’t have? Because you’re my friend, Steve. I can’t have you the way I want you and that’s fine. It hurts like hell but it’s fine. I can live with that. You’ll never be alone because you’ll always have me as a friend.”

Steve stares at him with eyes full of rage.

   “But I don’t want you as a friend.”

Steve’s words hit him like a fist to the face. But before Eddie can let them sink in and start spiralling about the meaning behind them – Steve not wanting to be friends anymore because of Eddie’s confession, obviously – Steve closes the distance between them in one swift motion, grabs Eddie’s face on either side, looking at him with determination in his eyes.

   “I want you as more than a friend, Eddie.”

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #idiot friends to lovers #wip

[luveline]

hi bae, just wondering if you could write something like roommate!marauders and reader with anxiety where everytime one of them goes out she gets really worried that’s somethings gonna happen to them and waits up for them and just feels like a burden when she calls to make sure they’re alright and just general anxiety things and them being so sweet about it

love u

love u too♡

cw death related anxiety

“Hey, Remus?” you ask tentatively. 

Your housemate lays across the sofa with his dinner half eaten on the coffee table and a book tented on his chest. He's ignoring both in favour of the television, a rerun of Family Fortunes turning the sofa cushions and his pale skin a light blue. 

He drags his blue-tinged gaze from the subtitles to your frowning. “What's wrong?” he asks. You're surprised he heard you over the sound of Sirius’ stereo echoing down the stairs. 

“Where did James say he was going?” 

“I think he said he'd be at the gym for an hour now he's not in work. Want me to call him?” 

“Why would you call him?” you ask, instead of saying yes, please, like you want to. 

“You're worrying again.” 

They know how you are. It doesn't mean they have to understand —it isn't logical to think James is hurt because he hasn't been home today yet, and none of them are required to humour you in your worry, but they always do. 

You feel sick as he takes his phone from his pocket. You've convinced yourself that James is dead, that his car curled around a bend too quickly on the drive in the rain, or that something happened at the gym, or that he never made it there at all, had a fit in the car park outside of work. Even as you think it, you know it's implausible, unlikely, just a repetitive negative anxiety worming its way into your head, but you can't make it stop. 

James doesn't answer the first time, which doesn't help, and then when he does answer the second time you're waiting for bad news. Remus smiles as he talks. “Hello? Jamie?”

James doesn't need speak phone to be heard. “Remus! I'm at the gym, what's happening?”

Remus wrinkles his nose. “What's happening? Since when do you say that?”

“What's up?” James corrects. “I'm on my way out of the gym, can you talk? You can keep me company while I drive.” 

Remus holds out the phone to you. 

“Remus?” James asks into the room. You take the phone before he can hang up, and decide to be honest, but the words get stuck like toffee between your teeth. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” you say, sending Remus a grateful look. He moves over to make room on settee for you, and his arm wraps familiarly around your shoulders as you settle in. He turns his attention back to his show. 

“Oh my god hey, angel. Remus okay?” 

“I was making him ring you, sorry. I thought… you know what I'm like. It's getting late and you aren't home, and I know I don't have the right to pester you about where you are.”

“Yeah you do,” James says, his voice louder, like his mouth is very close to the microphone. “Course you do. I'd worry too if you weren't home yet.” 

“I do this all the time, though.”

Just last week he and Sirius were out late and you'd panicked that they'd both been hurt. You stayed up until almost one in the morning waiting for them to get home from a music shop in the city, each minute after eleven like a shot of ice water in your veins. Sirius jumped when he saw you waiting in the living room, but then he'd given you a hug and rubbed at your shoulders roughly. You didn't wait up for us, did you? 

“It's worse lately, yeah?” James asks. You hum non-committal, and Remus gives you a squeeze in typical Remus fashion. You hadn't even realised he was listening, but his support makes this easier. “You're worrying about us more.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don't know why. And it sucks because I know it's making me a lot to deal with.” 

“I would one thousand percent prefer it if you rang me then sat there worrying. That would make me feel better. And Remus and Sirius feel the same way, okay? We could all stand to ring each other a bit more anyways.” 

You rub your nose into your hand. “Sorry,” you mumble. 

“There's no need to be. I love you, ‘n I just want you to be happy. If a phone call can make that happen then why shouldn't you do it? And it's not like they're a big imposition, I like talking to you. We all do.”

James is home from the gym what could only be ten minutes later, and he leans over the back of the settee to kiss your forehead chasely. “Here we are, all safe and well.” 

“You haven't seen Sirius yet,” Remus points out.

“I can bloody well hear him. What is he listening to? Is that U2?” James shakes his head in disgust. “I can see why you were so worried I wasn't coming home. Let me go put a stop to that immediately.” 

#the marauders #marauders #poly marauders #poly!marauders #poly marauders x reader #poly!marauders x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #james potter fanfiction #remus lupin fic #james potter fic #the marauders x reader #the marauders x fem!reader #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #sirius black x reader implied is

[gyutopia]

overpass graffiti | sim jaeyun

ꕤ DESCRIPTION: “they say we fall in love three times in our lifetime: our first love is the one that breaks us, leaves us hopeless and lost, this then brings us to our second love, the one which picks up the broken pieces of our heart and mends it back together; heals us from the heartache the first left and lastly, our third and final love⏤the love that’s supposed to last. for you, your best friend sim jaeyun happens to be two out of three.”

ꕤPAIRING: best friend!jake x f!reade & second lead!jungwon

ꕤGENRE(S): slice of life!au, soulmate(?)!au

ꕤWORD COUNT: 23.9k

ꕤWARNING(S): loss of virginity, soft dom!jake, sub!reader, oral (f!receiving), p in v intercourse, no protection, drugging (not the reader), underaged drinking, swearing, dry humping, mentions of plan b, mentions of hospitals, possessive!jungwon, mentions of sobriety, heartbreak, allusions to depression, mentions of drinking and smoking, mentions of passing out.

ꕤA/N: i think i have a thing for sim jaeyun and angst.

“Jaeyunie, meet ____. You and her are gonna be best friends.” 

Jake’s mother smiles, a hand lightly on his back, and pushes him forward with a gentle pat.

The moment she steps away from his side however, he panics, looking back at her desperately. He’s met with a smile of encouragement - caring but unsympathetic. Jake swallows harshly, shyness heavy in his throat, and uses all the willpower in his 9 year old body to force himself to look at the small female.

Standing across from him, a girl of roughly the same stature is grinning toothily - or at least she could've been, if she’d had enough teeth. ____, was dressed neatly, her hair laid down with lots of gel and two ponytails with bows holding it all together. Her light purple dress swayed as the gentle breeze blew. In one chubby fist she clutched tightly onto her fathers hand. Jake blushed, if he didn’t firmly believe that girls had cooties he would have sworn her to be the prettiest girl he’s ever laid eyes on so instead he scrunches his nose and says the first thing that comes to his mind and knows will hurt her feelings.

“You’re dirty,” he proclaimes, crossing his arms. “Very dirty.”

At his words, ____’s smile quickly falters and an almost angry look overtakes her face. “Am not!” Sensing his daughter's growing fury, her father steps in.

“____ah, calm down. I’m sure Jaeyun didn’t mean it, why don’t you two spend some time together? Hm? I’m sure you’ll be best friends.”

Not giving his daughter any time to argue, he excuses himself and leaves to go join the other adults by the varanda.

____ crosses her arms and stares up at Jake intimidatingly, “apologize.”

Jake gulps, although he’s a whole head taller than the girl and probably even older, he can’t help but be slightly scared of the icy glare she’s sending his way so he meekly mumbles, “I’m sorry”

However, it doesn’t seem as if ____ is pleased with the half assed apology. She raises an eyebrow and impatiently taps her foot on the grass, “for what?”

He gulps, “for calling you dirty, I didn’t mean it.”

Satisfied with the apology, a wide smile breaks out on ____’s face before she doubles over from laughing so hard. “Y-you should have seen your face!” She abruptly stands and quivers her bottom lip as she stares at Jake, “I-I’m s-s-sorry.” She breaks out into laughter once again, unable to hide her amusement. Jake only frowns and crosses his arms.

“It’s not funny.”

Ignoring his embarrassment, ____ walks right up to him and slings an arm around his neck,  “Let’s be best friends forever, yah, Jaeyunie?”

Usually Jake would have scolded anyone who called him Jaeyunie, his mother and hyung being the only exceptions, but for some reason hearing the name slip out so easily from your mouth seemed comforting. “Okay,” he agreed, slightly hesitant. “You seem kinda stupid, so I can still be number one with you as my best friend.”

You only smiled in response, delighted, before spinning on your heel and running back to your mother and father, who were talking animatedly with his own parents.

What a strange girl, Jake thought. At least she wouldn't be competition.

___

Later that night, both of Jake’s parents and your mother and father were sitting at the table discussing grown-up things while you were in the bathroom and Jake was sitting beside his brother when his name filtered through to his ears. He had been in the process of stabbing the greens off his plate and slowly feeding them to his precious dog Layla when his parents weren’t looking, but at the mention of his name he perks up instantly. 

“...Jake has already been offered scholarships to private middle schools once he finishes elementary but he’ll be attending the private international school his elder brother goes to,” she was bragging again.

Your mother perks up as well, “Wow, that’s so incredible, Suyeon. I think being friends with Jaeyun will really help ____ find some initiative. She’s already so used to being good at things, a little healthy competition is just what she needs.”

Jake’s father nods, gesturing for the maid in the corner to bring over the bottle of wine. “It’s certainly going to help with that. While we’re on this topic, I’d like to invite you to join our study group. We have the best tutors come in and teach the kids after school but only the best of the best are allowed to join, ____ shows a lot of promise.”

Jake listens nervously, watching his father as the maid filled his glass and stepped back.

you’re….smart?

His mother notices him staring, and reaches over to tousle his hair affectionately. “Don’t worry, Jaeyunie,” she croons. “You’ll still be number one. Being friends with kids that are as smart as you is a good thing! You and ____ will have lots more to talk about than you would with anyone else.”

He frowns. He knew sometimes parents lied to kids to stop them from being sad, but his mother would never lie to him. Jake was too clever, he’d figure out the lie before she finished telling it.

“Alright.” He found himself cautious for the second time that day. “As long as I can still be number one.”

Jake in fact did not stay number one for long.

Once you had fully settled into your new life in Australia your grades skyrocketed causing your teachers to bump you up a grade, placing you into Jake’s class, the two of you always went head to head vying for the first rank and each time Jake always fell a point behind.

It aggravated him to no end that you came out of nowhere and completely upended his whole life and identity, Jake had always been the smart one and never had any solid competition so having you seemingly pop out of nowhere and take away the very thing that made him, well him agitated him beyond belief.

But of course this made for a great friendship, while Jake claimed he hated your very existence he soon found himself looking forward to your after school study sessions. You never took them seriously, you always goofed off and made it your life's mission to teach Jake the meaning of fun. It took a while for the boy to warm up to you but you managed to get on his good side with a little bribing of fried chicken and grape soda.

The two of you would wait until your break to sneak out to the fried chicken place down the street to pick up the order you had placed during your tutoring session before heading back to hide in one of the various rooms inside Jake’s spacious home. The two of you would use this time to talk about the annoyances in your life, you would mostly complain about the girls who kept coming up to you to confess their love for Jake and how you were growing quite annoyed with having to turn them down on his behalf. He would only grimace and quickly change the topic to how annoyed he was with you for yet again topping the class rank.

Slowly but surely though, as the two of you began to age, the conversations began to change as he warmed up to you, what used to be pointless bickering and complaining turned into meaningful deep conversations about his fear of attachment, rooted in his father constantly leaving him and his family to go back to Korea for his job overseas. You had slowly become the only constant in Sim Jaeyun’s life and he truly had no intentions of letting you go. You really had become his best friend just like his mother predicted all those years ago.

While it might have taken Jake some time to love you, you loved him from the start. While everyone saw him as the perfect all rounder student you knew he was more than that. You knew he wasn’t perfect, wasn’t some ace who was just naturally talented. No, he worked just as hard- if not harder than his peers to keep up the image he was born to fit. He pulled all-nighters to bring home grades suitable for the assemblyman's son, immersed himself in after school clubs to fill up his resume because God forbid he wasn’t preparing for college at the ripe age of 9, learned multiple languages to become an ambassador for the school and threw himself into learning different instruments and playing different sports to really bring home the title of being an all-rounder.

In everything he pursued, he aced and came out on top. Which is why it irked him to his very core when you came around and knocked him down a peg. You knew right away just how much it bothered him, of course he complained about it every day during your group tutoring sessions but you didn’t really care. If anything it was motivation for you to work even harder to maintain the top spot.

You weren’t doing it out of spite or to intentionally anger him, no you were doing it to show him it’s okay to not always be perfect. It’s okay to rank second, it’s okay to goof off during tutoring sessions when studying is all you ever do, it’s okay to eat junk food when you feel like it and most importantly it’s okay to talk through your emotions with someone. You like to think you ranked first for his own good, to help him realize life is more than just school.

When the two of you reached high school you eased up with working so hard for the top rank but Jake didn’t, he studied all of your summer break before freshman year and placed into a year above you. It annoyed you that you were no longer graduating together but Jake became more lax and carefree knowing he would be graduating a year early, it was refreshing to see a new side of your best friend. Somewhere along the grades of 11 and 12 though, something shifted.

Jake was never unattractive but you never really took note of just how attractive he could be until your junior year.

___

“He’s gonna say no, Sarah.”

“We’re just looking out for you. He’s always hanging out with ____. They’re probably secretly dating, why don’t you just ask someone else?”

“I don’t know why you’re so set on him. I heard he’s already turned down six girls this month. six.”

Jake was just trying to get his calc homework done, bent over in the back of the library with his textbook open in front of him, eyes glued to the page. He spares you a frantic look, desperate to get your attention and convey that it was time to leave before it happened again. 

You, of course, were not paying attention. You were splayed out haphazardly on the chair across from him, headphones in and scribbling in your notebook. You had a smudge of graphite on your nose from scratching it in the middle of your doodling session.

You hum peacefully, completely unaware of your friend's turmoil.

It was everywhere. Prom. It was one stupid night, and he was fully planning on spending it wrapped up in blankets in his living room with you watching romcoms. It was the senior prom and he refused to attend a social event he knew you wouldn’t be at.

Unfortunately, Jake was alone in that feeling, the girls whispering from the table behind the two of you were right. He’d been asked six times. Six excruciating experiences of being cornered by a near stranger who smiled too sweetly and asked him to be their date, six separate occasions on which he’d stuttered a “sorry” and bowed deeply, ducking out before they could say any more.

And by this point, he just really, really didn’t want to have to turn down another girl. He felt like absolute crap.

Jake reaches out, tugging at your school uniform. “____” he whisper-yells.

You shrug him off and pout, “you’ll mess me up. Stop.”

He persists however, this time more aggressive and even goes the extra mile and pulls out one of your airpods. “I’ll buy you dinner please can we just go?”

You finally look up from your work slightly agitated and a full on pout graces your lips, if it were any other time Jake would take a moment to admire how adorable you look but it wasn’t.

“Why do you wanna leave so badly?” you huff out.

Before Jake can answer though he’s cut off by Sarah, one of the girls who has made her way over to your table.

“Jake?”

At the mention of his name his eyes squeeze shut and it hits you like a truck on why he was so adamant to leave. This time it’s the girl from his IB Latin class who he tutored on occasion.

She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, you wonder what Jake’s response is going to be this time. She’s very pretty.

“Yes?” He croaks out. Behind him, you sit up in your seat, ready to step in if needed.

She looks down, hands twisting together and fidgets and steps side to side, but when she sucks in a sharp inhale and looks up her eyes are filled with determination. Jake feels queasy, almost as if he’s about to vomit.

“Do you maybe want to go to prom with me?”

Jake swallows the lump in his throat, guilt twisting everything into a knot. You see his knuckles turn white as he makes a fist and you resume your drawing, knowing what his answer will be.

“I’m sorry,” he manages. “But I don’t plan on going.”

Your brow shoots up in shock, you never figured he was rejecting all these girls because he simply didn’t want to go, you thought he was just waiting for the right moment to ask the girl he truly wanted to go with. You never asked why he was so closed off about prom, you figured he would tell you in his own time when he was ready.

“Can I ask why?” She lets her hands fall to her side. “Even if you don’t wanna go with me, I think you’d have a lot of fun.” She retreats back to her friends before he can respond. Jake tries not to notice the way they shake their heads sympathetically and pat her back in comfort.

“She’s right you know, prom would be fun.” you say as you shut your sketchbook. “Plus, she seems really sweet.”

Jake rolls his eyes “you sound like my mom.”

“Ha ha,” you drawl, stretching and arching off the chair like a cat. “I really don’t understand why you don’t want to go. It’s your last chance to enjoy a high school dance.”

The previous year, while you were in your sophomore year and Jake in his junior year he skipped out on prom, choosing to attend his model UN conference instead as his dad had put an emphasis on how much more important the meeting was compared to prom.

Jake shrugs and reaches for your backpack to pull out some snacks you packed for him, “it makes it real.”

“Makes what real?” you tilt your head to the side and patiently wait for him to collect his thoughts to elaborate on what was bugging him.

Jake sighs. “That this is the end.” he mummers, “after prom it’s graduation, and after grad I’m off to the states for uni…away from you.”

Your heart skips a beat and your hands start to get clammy at his words. You try to subtly rub your hands on your skirt and sit up straighter, confused as to why his words have such a strong effect on you.

“We’ve never spent more than a week apart from each other and now we’re going to be thousands of miles apart for a year. I can’t go to prom knowing you won’t be there and that it brings me one step closer to leaving.” he continues, he doesn’t look at you as he lays his emotions bare for you, rather he focuses on organizing his snack options.

Your heart twinges at the reminder that he was leaving for Yale in the fall, this would be the last summer spent together for who knows how long. As much as the reminder upsets you, you still plaster a smile on your face and playfully roll your eyes.

“Did you forget our promise? You and me, forever and always. We have all of summer to make as many memories as we went and even after you leave we can facetime, technology has come a long way y’know.” You reach out to take the bag of chips he had settled on eating to open for him before handing it back. “Distance means nothing. I’ll always have time for my best friend, plus when I go to Harvard I’ll only be two hours away. Enjoy the time you have left in Australia. You'll probably miss it more than me when you actually leave.”

Jake shakes his head, “doubt it but you do make a valid point.”

You smirk and shrug, “when do I not?” You clear your throat. “Does this mean you’ll go to prom?”

He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and tilts his head side to side before asking, “go to prom with me?”

This time you can’t hide your shock, it’s not odd for you and Jake to be pairs for most social events but for some reason him asking you to be his date for his first and only prom causes heat to rise to your cheeks.

“W-what?”

“What? I can’t see myself going with anyone else, I’m most comfortable around you. Plus when I think back to my senior prom I want to remember how much fun I had and when I’m with you all the stress I’m under suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.” He states.

“Stop being corny,” you hiss weakly, fumbling with the straps on your bag. “It’s not a good look.”

Jake giggles, “what? Do you want me to get down on my knees instead? Do a promposal?”

Your eyes widen, mortified at the idea of him putting together a grandiose promposal. “You’re such a little shit, I swear—“

“Hold on, siri play stand by me by be—“

You pick up your sketchbook and hurl it at his head causing him to duck out of the way and fall out of his chair onto the floor with the force of his laughter. Hearing his laugh causes a pinch in your heart.

When he finally manages to pull himself together and off the ground, he wipes at his eyes and sighs. “Seriously, though.” He hums. “Will you go to prom with me?”

You swallow thickly, averting your eyes to the floor. “Sure.” you say quietly. “I guess so.”

You're uncharacteristically nervous for prom. Your mom insisted on taking the day off from work to help you get ready when you told her Jake had asked you to go with him.

You thought she was being dramatic but she swore up and down, left and right- that this was the beginning to your ‘blooming love story’.

She brought you to a salon to have your hair and makeup done and even splurged on a $900 dress. You’re beyond grateful to have a mother as understanding and loving as she is. Your father is away on business and unable to make it to take pictures so your mom has been documenting the whole day to share with him, the two of you are currently in your bedroom as she paints your toes.

“Mom?”

She hums in reply and puts down a new coat of nail polish on your big toe. “How’d you know dad was the one?”

Your heart is quiet in your chest, a calm thumping rather than the stutter it had been at all week as you wait for her response. She softly smiles before responding.

“He showed up to my dorm room with pedialyte and carpet cleaner.” She caps the nail polish and cleans around the edges of your toes. “We had been dating for some time and I was supposed to attend a business summit with him but I had a stomach bug and threw up all over my dorm. Your dad didn’t hesitate to drop his plans for the day and showed up to take care of me. He was the first person to ever put me before anything else and I just knew I loved him when he showed up with no clue on what to do but willing. He didn’t care about what his dad had to say about skipping the event or anything else, just me.”

You hum and fiddle with your hands as you think back to moments you’ve shared with Jake. The first one your brain recalls is the first time you got your period. Unfortunately it happened during your school's nature classroom trip. You were up in the woods for the week learning about nature and science through different activities and during your first night there you got your period. You walked around the whole day with blood stains on your shorts and cramps you couldn’t account for. You were beyond embarrassed come dinner time. You had no girl friends in the grade to ask for help and the boys made it a show of embarrassing you at dinner by pouring ketchup all over your seat. Jake was having none of it though, he came up to you at your table and wrapped his hoodie around your waist before grabbing your arm and leading you out of the canteen to the nurse on site.

He stayed by your side that night watching stand by me on your phone outside the cabins getting bit by mosquitoes. He didn’t complain or make any jokes of his own, rather stayed silent and let you have the quiet time you needed. When the two of you finally retreated back to your separate rooms you found a little gift basket on your bed filled with different types of pads, tampons, a heating pack and some chocolates. Apparently while you were walking around with stained shorts Jake was going around collecting different menstrual items from the girls in your grade to give to you, his way of helping.

It did make your heart flutter at the time but you chalked it up to your period hormones and never spoke on how it made you feel to anyone…Was that when you started to fall in love with your best friend?

Your doorbell goes off and you feel anxiety seep into your bones. Your mom senses this and holds your hand to give it a firm squeeze. “don’t stress about something you’re not sure about, okay? I want you to have fun tonight - both of you.”

You nod at her, loving how she knows exactly what was plaguing your mind, you let her lead you out your room and out to the living room. She lets go of your hand and walks over to the door, opening it wide.

“Wow.” You and Jake exclaim simultaneously as soon as you see each other. The butterflies in your stomach erupt once again at the sight of him; dressed in an sleek black suit with the first three buttons of his black undershirt undone, his hair has been bleached blonde and styled down with a part in the middle.

“You look…amazing.” Jake breathlessly lets out, staring at you in complete awe.

You blush and flatten out invisible wrinkles in your dress. “Thank you so do you, I love your hair.”

He smiles and shakes his fringe out of his eyes, “thanks. Figured why not try something new. Ready to go?”

“Woah woah woah, hold on, you two aren’t going anywhere without taking pictures!” His mom appears from behind him, “Let me go get my phone real quick!”

Your mom claps her hands as scurries off to retrieve her phone, “Oh, yes! I have to take pictures for your dad.”

Jake walks up next to you and you’re sure your heart is about to beat out of your chest. “You look really great, ____.”

“You’re not so bad yourself. Blonde was a great idea.” You bring your hand up to fix his parting a bit more. “It’s a nice contrast with the all black suit.”

“Yeah.” He swallows, looking down at his shoes.

“Okay! I have my phone!” Your mom says as she returns, instructing both of you to move out to her garden in the backyard and stand by the peonies for the photo.

“This might take a while.” You whisper to him and he chuckles, gently placing a hand on your lower exposed back.

“Won’t you get cold later?”

You shrug, “probably. Good thing your mother raised you to be a gentleman.” It takes him a second to register your words, scoffing in disbelief once he realizes what you were hinting towards but he doesn’t argue knowing he really will give you his jacket the second he sees you shiver.

“Smile!”

___

After a long process of taking pictures the two of you finally head out with Jake driving you guys to prom. Upon arriving you’re amazed at how extravagant the venue looks. Just another perk of attending a private school you think to yourself.

After finding parking the two of you head inside to find your table, you’re sharing it with your two friends Kairo and Mei and a random couple who snagged their tickets at the last minute (Jun and Luna).

“Jake! ____!” Kairo and Mei are in the entryway to the ballroom, waiting for the two of you where they texted they would be standing.

Mei walks forward, a greeting never making it past her lips, as she reaches out to brush Jake’s fringe out of his eyes. “Sorry, it was bothering me.” She mumbles as she steps back.

You know her intentions are innocent but with the way Jake’s cheeks flush red and he can barely meet her gaze you feel a twinge of jealousy and sadness. Since when was he flustered by Mei? The four of you met during SAT Prep and formed your own study group to help each other out during midterms and finals your freshman year (Jake’s sophomore) the dynamic between you all was pretty formal. The four of you didn’t make plans to go to the movies or the mall like other kids your age, it was strictly studying and neither of you minded it. Kairo and Mei fulfilled you and Jake in an academic sense while you and Jake met all your social and more emotional needs together.

So why the hell was he all blushy at Mei fixing his hair? Why didn’t he react the same when you fixed his parting?

“Should we go in?” Kairo asks.

“That sounds great,” you grit out, your grip tightening on your clutch.

Mei slides up next to Kairo and slips her arm back through his. The four of you walk in and find your table. Kairo pulls out Mei’s seat and Jake follows, doing the same for you.

“So Jake, are you excited for commencement?” Mei asks once you’ve all taken your seats.

Jake clears his throat, “more nervous than excited. Can’t believe it’s all finally over.”

The three of them go back and forth in idle talk before Jake slowly eases his way out of the conversation, mindlessly nodding at what your friends are saying and leaving you to your thoughts.

He’s uncharacteristically silent though as he bobs his head to the music. Seeing as you know him better than yourself, you know he’s nervous - but why?

Was he thinking of Mei? The thought makes you feel sick; you have no reason to be jealous because you’re just his best friend and your feelings are a jumbled mess you can’t navigate through- you don’t even know what you want from him. He can’t fix what he doesn’t know is broken.

Your mind is absolutely blank as you stare down at your hands on your lap. You only snap out of it when a large hand engulfs yours, but you don’t dare to look at him. You can’t.

“Are you okay?”

There they are again; the stupid butterflies winding up in the confines of your stomach. “Yeah,” You remove his hands from yours, “I’m fine.”

Jake reluctantly lets you pull his hand away, knowing something’s wrong but he doesn’t want to push. You compose yourself and remind yourself about your words to Jake; this is his last school dance. It needs to be memorable.

So you’ll make it memorable.

As the night goes on with the food served and multiple performances happening, you’re able to loosen up and forget your worries.

“Do you want to join the dance floor?” Kairo asks as he eyes the growing dance floor.

“No.” You frantically respond, earning a look of judgment from Mei.

“Yes!” She exclaims, grabbing both you and Kairo before dragging you out of your seats with a gleeful giggle.

You try to grab on to Jake for help, but your hand merely grazes his as you’re pushed to the dance floor. On the dance floor, other people have jumped into the idea of dancing and in no time, it’s filled with dancing students.

A little while later, Jake joins the three of you and your little dance circle moves around each other for a few songs; you’re all laughing and you’re genuinely starting to enjoy yourself. Eventually, Kairo and Mei leave to go take a breather leaving you alone with Jake.

“Are you feeling any better?” He leans down to your ear and tries to speak over the loud music.

You nod, “Ye-”

You’re cut off by the loud upbeat music dying out and picking back up but this time a soft violin intro fills the room, you recognize the song instantly. The live orchestra begins playing the chorus of nobody gets me by Sza, you watch as everyone around you pairs up and when you turn around, Jake is already looking at you with a small smile tugging on his lips.

His ears are tinged pink as he offers you a shrug, “Do you wanna dance?” He holds out his hand to you.

You take it with baited breath and immediately at the touch, the butterflies are at it again. You step closer to him and place your other hand on his shoulder while his other goes to your back, where your skin is exposed.

He’s gone back to being unusually quiet again; he’s just leading you to the slow beat of the song and looking away, only meeting your eyes when he catches your lingering gaze.

“____, you’ve been out of it all night. Are you really okay?” He quietly asks, his brows furrowing.

“I…” For a moment, you consider confessing what’s weighing on your heart but you panic. How would he react if he knew?

“____?”

“I think I’m in love with you.” You blurt out, a heavy sigh leaving your lips as soon as the words come out. You feel a little lighter knowing you’ve said your peace but your heart races in panic as you wait for his response.

“Oh,”  Jake whispers. It could have been your imagination but you swear his eyes look just as dizzy and unfocused as your own. His lips part maybe to say something more, but close as quickly as they opened and his gaze flickers down to your lips.

“I-” You choke on your words, shame and regret instantly flooding your body. You want to curl up and hide in a hole but you can’t. Jake is holding on to you too tightly and you’ve already let the cat out of the bag. Might as well get it all off your chest. “I-I don’t know when it happened but I know my feelings aren’t platonic anymore. You’re all I can ever seem to think about, when you touch me it feels like butterflies are swimming in my stomach and the thought of you even being interested in someone else makes me sick to my stomach.”

You take a deep breath, “I think I’m in love with you Jake. I love the little things that make you Jake, your obsession with math and physics, your ability to make anyone you speak to feel truly seen, how you rely on God to get you through hardships you face.” You continue to drone on and on about the quirks you love about your best friend, not noticing the way his lips tip upward in a wide grin.

“I love you.” You confess.

“____?” He asks, voice even.

“Yeah?”

“Stay still.”

Jake steps forward and wraps his hand delicately around the back of your neck, he doesn’t miss the way your hooded eyes follow his movement. He stands up straighter, he’s so close that your noses brush against each other ever so slightly. 

The flush on Jake’s cheekbones is clear as day, a lovely rose pink.

He takes one final deep breath and leans in to plant a kiss on your awaiting lips. The moment your lips touch, you feel a spark of electricity jolt through your body but as quick as it comes, however, and before you can react, he’s already swiftly pulling away.

When the two of you pull back, your eyes are wide open, gaze fixed on Jake’s face, his lips left slightly parted. His entire body is vibrating with warmth and anxiety, hardly able to keep still.

Jake stares at you, still feeling the desire pooling in his stomach, and wonders if he had made a mistake.

“____,” Jake calls, quietly. “____.”

He begins to hold his breath. Did he overstep?

“Did you…” You begin, eyes wide, flickering rapidly across his face. “Did you…just…”

“Yeah,” Jake replies, his voice cracking a tad. “Yeah, I did.”

There’s a silence between the two of your for a long second before you collect your bearings and clear your throat and say,

“Do it again.”

Jake feels numb, unable to be shaken or moved by the world around him, so he steps back in and tilts his head to the side, kissing you once again like you asked. 

You can barely hear the crowd around you over the sound of your own heartbeat.  Jake kisses you softly, almost shyly. A gentle hand slides down to your hip, anchoring you in place, a solid touch while the rest of the world slowly fades away. 

You can’t think about anything other than the feeling of Jake’s lips finally on your own. You continue to kiss Jake until you feel his hand leave your hip and he gently pulls his lips away.

You keep your eyes shut for a second longer, body thrumming with warmth and energy, you feel Jake’s forehead knock against yours after a beat. When you finally open your eyes, like always, Jake was staring right back at you.

“I love you too.”

Following prom you feel as though you’re on cloud nine. After your shared confessions and heated kisses Jake took you outside of the venue to discuss where things would go from here. He only had three more months left in Australia before he had to leave for Yale but he knew he would be a fool if he let you go.

The two of you came to the conclusion that you would take things slow and enjoy the little time you had together working towards being a couple and pick things back up once you graduated and made your way to the states to join Jake.

Things truly felt perfect, Jake would come by your home every now and then to take you on impromptu dates with a new bouquet everytime and an explanation on why he chose those specific flowers. On days where he was too busy getting ready for his upcoming semester to take you out, you would pack him little lunches and drive the two of you down to the park you would often visit in your childhood and have little picnics while listening to him go on about how excited he was for the physics program at Yale.

The people who had been in your lives and watched you grow up together were thrilled at the direction in which your relationship was going. Both your parents were delighted when Jake broke the news that you were officially seeing each other on a romantic level working towards eventually dating. You would often have Sunday brunch together after going to church with his family and yours before sneaking off to his room to cuddle on his bed for an afternoon nap.

Had you known this is what would come with confessing, you would have told Jake way sooner but sadly, time had passed and the date of Jake’s departure from Australia was fastly approaching. He has a week left and he’s determined to make it the best one yet.

“Let's road trip to Sydney.”

You stop fiddling with Jake's fingers and turn your head to look up at him from your position on his chest. “What?”

He smiles down at you before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. “You heard me, let’s take a road trip to Sydney.”

You playfully roll your eyes. “Yeah I heard you dummy but why?”

He shrugs and entwines your hands once more. “Why not? It’s my last week and we talked about road tripping down there for spring break but someone,” he pauses to poke at your side with his free hand drawing out some giggles form you his heart warming at the sound, “-just had to get sick the night before we were supposed to leave.”

You let out a groan, “you’re never going to let that go are you?” Jake hums, “absolutely not.”

You huff in thought, “it’s a nine hour drive Jake…”

He sits up forcing you to do the same as well, turning to face him. “We can take turns. Plus my flights’ leaving from Sydney, we could go to the airport together and have a proper goodbye without my parents bugging us.”

You bite down on your lip seriously considering Jake’s impromptu idea. Within the past three months you’ve had to share Jake with so many people- his soccer team, his orchestra friends, his family. Everyone. Alone time was scarce and the thought of a getaway to Sydney where it would be just the two of you and no distractions sounded lovely.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?”

You hum and move to sit on his lap and throw your hands over his shoulders. “Why not?”

A huge smile breaks out on Jake's face causing you to smile as well, something about seeing him happy always managed to bring you happiness. It should be scary, just how willing you are to sacrifice for Jake but for some reason you always throw caution to the wind the second he comes around. You’d give him the world if you could.

You feel Jake wrap his arms around your waist and slowly slide his hands under your shirt to caress your back. “What's going on in that pretty head of yours, love?”

You begin playing with the hair on the nape of his neck and whisper out, “thinking bout’ how I'd give you the world.” Jake’s hands pause at the base of your back, clearly caught off guard, you look down at his eyes and see how dark they’ve gotten. Desire and love pooling in the hues of his brown eyes. “You are my world.”

He leans in as he finishes his sentence and places his lips on yours. The feeling of his lips is incredibly warm as he pushes them against yours, slightly chapped but otherwise still soft. The amount of emotion he puts into kissing you isn’t like anything you felt before, there’s more desire in this kiss compared to all the others you’ve shared. The feeling of his tongue sweeping against the plumpness of your lower lip and the heat from his body sends butterflies to your stomach.

His hands fall down to your hips, pushing up your t-shirt to feel the softness of your stomach beneath his palms with battered breaths before pushing you back. He makes quick work of flipping you so your back is now on the mattress and it’s him straddling you. You gasp at the feeling of the soft mattress beneath you, his body pinning you deeper back as he continues exploring your mouth with his own.

You pull back slightly, breathing heavily and your lips red and plump with saliva. Jake smirks at the sight, his thumb coming up to pull down your bottom lip with the tip of his finger before moving his mouth to the sensitive skin of your neck.

The strands of his hair are silky beneath your fingertips, gasping and tugging at the roots as he bites down on a certain area of your neck that makes your core clench.

“Jaeyun,” you whisper, whimpering at the feeling of his palm applying pressure lightly against your navel. “Are we-?”

He slowly pulls away from you and adamantly shakes his head. “No.” you whine in protest as he pulls away and lays beside you once more. He pulls you close to his chest before confessing to you. “I want our first time to be romantic, not some quick fuck in my bedroom.” He kisses your temple. “You deserve more than that.”

The Following Day - 1:36PM

“Ready to head out?” 

You whirl around to find Jake standing in front of you and your parents, having just finished packing your suitcases in the trunk of his car and is now looking over at you with a tilt in his head. 

You nod and smile brightly. “Of course,” You say, turning to your mom and dad to bid them one fast farewell. “I was just saying bye.” 

He nods in understanding, waving to your parents, “I promise we’ll be safe and if anything happens you’ll be the first we call.” He says to reassure your parents, more so your dad who was a bit more hesitant to the last minute idea.

Your dad nods stiffly at Jake, “take good care of her. No drinking or scandalous activities, I’m not ready for any grandchildren.”

You gasp at your dads words and swat at his chest. “Dad! Stop embarrassing me!” He only tisks in your direction.

“You know what's more embarrassing? Having to finish your senior year pregn-”

“-Ahhh. Dad, stop it! I promise we’ll make smart choices!”

He chortles at your flushed expression and leans in for a hug. “I’m only messing with you.” You hug him back before pulling away to give your mother a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

“See you in a week!”

After pulling away Jake steps forward to hug your parents goodbye as well.

“Be safe Jake, we’ll miss seeing you so often! Make sure to call us if you ever need anything once in the states, okay?” Your mom softly says to him as she holds his face in her hands, tears slowly filling her eyes. Over the years Jake has slowly become like a son to her, she was used to cooking extra knowing he’d come over for dinner after your tutoring sessions. She had even turned one of the spare bedrooms into a personal room for Jake, allowing him to sleepover when his parents were out of town for business.

You can only imagine how much she's going to miss him, maybe as much as you know you’ll be missing him.

He nods and sniffs, is he crying too? “Of course auntie, I’m really going to miss our Friday night movie marathons.”

You smile bitterly beginning to fight back tears of your own. Your father was always away for weekend meetings in Melbourne starting Friday night into Saturday evening and as captain of the varsity volleyball team you had late night practices every Friday meaning you wouldn’t be back home until the dead of night and your mother was left all alone. Jake, having nothing to do once classes were done would often go over to your home to keep her company so she wouldn’t be all alone in your home. It was a little tradition the two kept up over the years.

You hadn't given yourself time to really mourn the idea of being separated from Jake for an entire year but watching him say his tearful goodbyes to your parents is really putting into perspective just how entwined your lives are. He’s your everything and how he’s leaving, how are you going to manage your senior year without your best friend?

 “We should get going.” 

“Mhmm.” You look over at Jake and reach a hand out to wipe away his fallen tears. “It’s okay.” 

The two of you say one last goodbye before getting into Jake’s range rover, you look out the window to see your parents waving you off. You slide back into the passenger seat of his car and put on your seatbelt now processing the fact that this is the last week you have with Jake.

There is a silence as Jake is starting the car, and a part of you wants to die. On one hand you want to cry and beg him to stay but on the other you know if you do, Jake will differ his offer and take a year off to be with you. That’s the last thing you want, he deserves happiness. That’s all you’ve ever wanted for him. If that means braving a smile for now while your heart is in turmoil so be it.

Jake is the first to break the silence.

“That was a lot harder than I thought it would be.” He drives down your driveway before making a right to pull into the neighborhood.

“Goodbyes are never easy.”

“Yeah but…I didn't cry when saying bye to my parents but something about your parents made leaving seem all the more ...real?”

“It’s only natural, you spent more time with us. You’re like their second child.”

Jake hums in thought, “I don’t think I’lll survive having to say goodbye to you.”

You purse your lips thinking about what your goodbye would be like. Would there be tears? Unspoken words? “I think you’ll be just fine.” You reach out for his right hand that lays on the gear shift and hold it tightly. “It’s only temporary.”

The next nine hours are spent singing old 90’s love songs and making pit stops every now and then to stock up on some new snacks and to switch off so Jake isn’t so tired. During your third stop is when Jake pulls out a camera and begins vlogging the remainder of the trip claiming it would be nice to look back at it once the trip is over.

Once you finally make it to your destination, you pull into the driveway and place the car in park before looking around at your surroundings. The home is modern with nothing but natural light, it’s surrounded by trees to still give you enough privacy but it’s secluded from the other homes on the lane.

“Oh my gosh it’s so pretty.”

You open the door and immediately extend your legs out onto the solid ground beneath you. You let out a sigh of satisfaction and Jake laughs from next to you. 

He’s opening his own car door soon after, but he straightens up into a standing position pretty quickly and stretches upwards. He closes the car door behind him, watching as you eventually pull yourself together to do the same. 

You turn to face him. “I’m gonna use the bathroom.” You gesture towards the airbnb and earn a nod from Jake, who mentions something about doing the same thing. You meet back at the car a few minutes later. 

Jake gestures to the trees surrounding the home. “Want to take a walk around the area? I think I saw a park when we pulled into the neighborhood.” 

You nod. “That sounds like a good idea.” 

“Why don’t you get started? I’ll catch up.” Jake watches you leave, before opening the trunk of his car and rummaging around. 

He does catch up with you, quickly enough that you hardly notice that he had sent you out first. You hear his footsteps, and the call of your name, causing you to turn around. “Jake!” 

The sight before you makes you smile brightly. Standing before you is Jake, with his polaroid in hand. The lens is pointed right at you. As soon as you’re staring straight into the camera, Jake grins. “Say cheese” 

You giggle and close your eyes before making a little peace sign. You hear the little click and the flash illuminates your face. You open your eyes to find Jake smiling down at the little printed picture waiting for it to develop. “I can’t believe you brought that.”

“I’m a photographer at heart, what did you expect?” Jake teases back. “Besides, it’s really pretty around here. I need some pictures for my dorm.” 

You blush at the thought of him putting up a picture of you on his dorm wall. The pair of you begin to make your way to the park, taking in the view from different angles. The stroll is mostly just to get rid of the pent up energy, but it’s still a nice view to admire. As soon as you arrive at the park you ditch Jake to run to the swing set.

“Push me?”

Jake rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief but still walks behind you to push you forward.

“Did you know my brother and I got in trouble with our mom because of how high we would swing you?” Jake giggles, “she was worried we’d push you too high and you’d go flying.”

“I blame your brother. He turns everything into a competition.”

“So do you!” Jake exclaims. You quickly stop the swing with your feet to turn back at him with a judgmental look on your face. “When we were a little older and Jaehyun left us to push each other you would get annoyed that I didn't push you as hard as you did for me.”

“It's true though.”

You scoffed, “at least I didn’t actually push you off your seat.”

He laughs at the memory, “we’re stronger now, do you wanna see who can go higher?”

“knowing exactly how strong you are… uh, not really? but whatever, let’s do it!” you brace yourself on the swing and start pulling yourself back to get momentum.

“Okay, wait! Wait!” he rushes to the seat beside yours and pushes it as far as his hips can go, already giving him an advantage. “Okay, go!”

Childish laughter escapes both of you as you let yourselves swing back and forth, trying to put your weight in properly to reach higher than each other. it really felt like you were kids again, you felt at peace, a part of you never wanted this night to end.

The next few days fly by and just like that it’s the night before Jake’s flight. You had spent your time in Sydney visiting the opera house, late night dinner dates and excursions all over the bustling city. There truly never was a dull moment within this week that’s come to pass. Getting to make new memories with Jake is exactly what you needed.

The two of you have just gotten back from dinner at Altitude, a restaurant overlooking the opera house. You’re now in your shared bathroom dressed in one of Jake’s old tee’s and a thong doing your nightly skin care routine as Jake undresses in the bedroom, getting ready for his nightly shower. You look at his reflection through the mirror as he takes off his shirt. Your eyes skim down his toned chest, desire pooling in the pits of your stomach. Throughout your time here it’s been nothing but makeouts and little pecks throughout the day. You wonder if he’ll finally make a move tonight.

“I can feel you staring, love.”

“That’s the point.”

Jake doesn’t say anything in response but rather slides up behind you and peppers your neck with gentle kisses. He cages you between his body and sink and presses his hips into your back. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his fully hard cock pressing against your lower back.

Jake’s eyes rake your body through the mirror, desire burning in his irises. he shifts his eyes to stare at your lips before moving back to turn you around and face him and press himself directly to your front before leaning down and in. He takes his time, giving you the opportunity to pull away but you don’t. You want this.

He leans forward and allows his lips to graze yours, the faintest of touches. “Are you sure you want to do this darling? We don't have to.” Jake asks softly.

You shyly nod your head and lean in to close the gap but he pulls ways and shakes his head, “no love. I need to hear you say yes.”

“Yes, I want to do this, Jaeyun.” You push forward allowing your lips to touch. He groans once your lips make contact. You’re unable to focus on anything other than the feeling of his lips on yours.

You can faintly taste the shirley temple he had at dinner on his tongue. He sucks harder on your lip and brings one hand down in between your things to prod at your pulsing heat.

He pulls away to let his eyes drink in the sight of you before leaning down to pick you up. you let out a yelp and grasp onto his biceps for protection, “w-what are you doing?” You sputter.

“I can’t make love to you properly on the sink, darling.”

You blush at his words and bury your face into his chest, after a few strides Jake is gingerly placing you on the bed.

He gets onto his knees and straddles your hips before reaching out to help you out of your shirt. You breathe in deeply savoring the way he feels pressed against you. the feeling of his warm fingers moving under the hem of your shirt across your stomach. He lifts it off of your body and tosses it across the room.

“Thank you for trusting me with your body.” Jake says before leaning back in and places his lips on yours yet again.

You moan into the kiss before he trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, his teeth brushing over your skin and making you shiver regardless of the heat being provided by Jake’s skin pushed up against yours. You close your eyes and relish the feeling.

With his lips still pressed against your neck, he whispers, “what do you want love?”

Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls away to look at you.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me what you want.” He reiterates before placing his lips back onto your neck, biting down making it harder for you to form a coherent sentence.

“I-i don’t know.” You say breathily but he chuckles in your ear, “yes you do love, tell me what you want so I can make you feel good.” He says as he gently tugs at your underwear, you whine and raise your hips off the bed to allow him to take it off faster. He tisks, “I need to hear you say it.” You look up at him to meet his gaze, “I want you to touch me.”

His gaze hardens, “spread your legs doll.” He orders.

He shifts his position and allows you to spread your legs before slotting himself in between them. He taps his fingers against your hips silently asking you to raise them. You shyly lift them to the best of your ability and let him pull them off of you, your arousal clinging to your underwear and clit.

Once you’re completely naked, he brings his lips to your chest and roughly kisses your skin, his tongue probing at your nipple. You whimper when he bites your left nipple, the feeling overwhelming. He pulls back and looks at your bare body.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He mumbles before leaning down to toy with your pussy.

“You’re so wet too. Did our kissing turn you on so much, love?” Jake asks, smirking down at you. your face heats up at his words but you don’t respond. He looks back down at your pussy and shifts his position so he’s laying down in front of your pussy. He lets his pointer finger circle your clit for a little before running it along the slit of your folds. You let out a mewl at the feeling wanting more. “P-please Ja..” You moan.

“Patience, love.”

He dips one finger into you and you hiss at the feeling. It’s been a while since you’ve been touched down there and you’re extremely sensitive. “You’re so tight,” he says, pushing his finger deeper until the entire digit is buried snuggly inside you. You close your eyes and tug at the bedsheets, loving the feeling of him fingering you.

You’re a moaning mess by the time he manages to slide his whole finger into you. You clench around his fingers as he slides them in and out of your snatch and grasp onto your bedsheets. “Does it feel nice to be stuffed with my fingers?” Jake asks.

You know your voice will fail you so you adamantly nod your head. Jake picks up the pace and your hips move to his strokes. Jake licks his lips when he feels your walls clenching tightly around his digits.

“I-i think I’m close.”

His fingers curl inside of you which causes your hips to jerk upwards. “Are you cunning?” He asks cheekily.

You nod eagerly, “yes!” your eyes snap shut as you enjoy the feeling, “o-oh my gosh” you cry as you feel him kiss the inside of your thighs. He trails the kisses upwards until he’s face to face with your pussy and places a soft kiss on the nub before sucking on it, his tongue flicking around. He pulls his pointer and middle finger out so he can eat you out freely.

He licks the slit of your folds and firmly grips the flesh of your thighs most likely leaving marks.  Marks that would remind you of this moment later on.

Jake picks up the pace, he’s going so fast that you let out a quiet scream. You fist and unfist your sheets as you rock your hips against his face and come.

Your orgasm hits you so hard that tears fill your vision.

Jake allows you to ride out your high before coming up from your private parts and leans back down to place a chaste kiss on your lips.

“Are you feeling alright love?” He asks as he strokes your hair. You’re heaving, trying to catch your breath.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to continue?”

You nod but then remember Jake wants verbal responses, “I do.”

Jake wastes no time in removing his shorts and boxers and gently moves up your body. you wrap your arms around his neck. “C-can you be gentle?” You sheepishly ask.

Your question sends an immediate reaction to Jake’s dick, he swears he could have busted a nut right then and there. “Of course doll, I'll be gentle.”

He tentatively strokes your folds with two fingers, eyes darting back up to yours to check your response. You hiss, still a bit sensitive. “Is this okay? Are you sensitive?”

“I’m fine,” you assure, “go ahead, I’m okay.”

He nods, gathering some of your wetness and smears it on his cock, a moan of relief leaving his swollen lips. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be buried inside of you,” he says, angling himself better and positioning his cock near your entrance.

“Please,” you whimper, biting back a cry once his length breaches your entrance. Jake lets out a guttural growl, slowly sinking into you and bottoming out letting you adjust to his length.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jake says, rolling his hips torturously slow. “You were made for me, love. Just for me.”

You open your eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready, you can move now.”

Jake leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek, then on your jaw, and then on your neck. As Jake busies himself there he slowly begins to thrusts in and out of you.

Your hands are all over him; clawing his back, gripping his biceps. “Love,” he whispers, “you feel so good.”

The sound of your bodies slapping against each other plus your loud wanton moans and the creaking from the bed is all that can be heard reverberating around in the home. He thrusts two more times, his hips stuttering before he chokes out, “mm gonna cum.”

You scratch at his sides and bite your lip to suppress your moan, “m-me too.”

“You can cum love,” Jake coos. He wraps his arms around you and hugs you closer to his body, the feeling of your chest pressed against him and his dick pounding into you is enough to send you over the edge.

“I’m cumming!” You mumble into his skin. Jake groans at the feeling of you cumming on his dick before his hips still and he comes inside you painting your walls white.

His lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings as you calm down.

“Fuck.”

Jake pulls out and looks down at the mess of the sheets, now that he’s no longer caught up in his lustful haze it dawns on him that the two of you didn’t use protection. So much for smart choices.

As if now remembering yourself you shrug, “I’ll just grab a plan b tomorrow.”

Jake nods, “I’ll send you the money for it.”

His body then drops to lay beside you and he pulls you in close with the promise of a hot shower after a few minutes of decompressing. You roll over and sit up, swatting Jake’s hands away as he reaches for your arm. “Wait, I have something for you.”

He hums, interest piqued. “Huh?”

You open the bedside drawer where you had hidden the card you had written for Jake before the two of you left Brisbane. It was a love letter, all the things you’ve ever wanted to tell him but kept to yourself out of fear. It holds all the words your heart so desperately wants to tell him before he leaves.

“It’s not anything extravagant but I know you care more for sentimental things anyway.” You hand him the card, “don’t read it until you’re on the plane.”

He looks at the light pink envelope decorated in stickers and his name written in neat calligraphy in the center, the faintest smile on his face but a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“I love you.”

The way he says it sounds different from all the other times he’s ever told you. Almost as if he needs to convince you that he loves you but you know. He places one last kiss to your lips before pulling you back down to cuddle.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Jake hums, “me too.”

The room slips into a comforting silence and eventually you drift off.

8:41am

You wake up feeling cold. You whine and feel around for Jake’s body but when you feel nothing you open your eyes and softly call out for him. “Jake?”

When you’re met with no response you sit up and look around the still dark room. You stand from the bed and reach for your shirt that was still on the ground. You hadn’t intended to fall asleep, it was only meant to be a quick nap before the two of you took a shower together and watched movies until it was time for you to head to the airport.

“Jake? If you’re trying to scare me, give up.”

You’re still met with silence and you begin to feel uneasy. “Jake?”

You search the living room and your heart drops. His things are gone, his shoes, his suitcases. Everything. You run back to the room to see if it’s really true, if Jake left without saying goodbye. What you find breaks your heart even more. All his toiletries are gone, all that's left are your belongings. You let out a sob when you find the love letter you had written for him laying atop his pillow, opened and crumpled at the sides, proof he had read it but didn’t care enough to take it with him.

You drop on to the bed in shock and disbelief, tears sitting in your waterline. You turn to look beside you, staring at the letter as if it had burned you, the only trace that Jake was ever here is his scent in the sheets. You look at the alarm clock to see if you’ll be able to make it to the airport on time and bid him a proper farewell, your heart sinks once again when you realize you’re far too late. It’s 8:50 and his flight leaves in ten minutes. You sniff and decide to not dwell on it, Jake probably had his reasons and you have to get ready to go home.

You strip out of your shirt and discard it on the floor before walking into the bathroom to start your shower. You step into the shower, toes flinching as they touch the chilled ceramic floor. Your mind is in shreds; how could Jake leave without a goodbye? You turn the dial, releasing thousands of frigid drops, wetting your hair and trickling down your back. Your eyes fall closed and images of last night cross your mind.

You want to scream. Did last night not mean as much to him as it did to you? Was this all so he could fuck and just leave? You wrap up your shower and step out to brush your teeth. When finished, you dry off and head for your suitcase to pick out an outfit. You settle on sweatpants and an old graphic tee with slides. Once dressed and ready for your journey back, you finish your packing and look around the house one last time to see if maybe Jake left anything for you, maybe even an explanation. All you find is a plan b box on the kitchen counter next to a water bottle. You pick up the pill box and exit promptly and throw your things in the back of Jake’s car. You look down at the passenger seat where the letter you had written for him sits. You pick it up and examine it one last time before shoving it deep into your backpack.

Maybe this was less painful than having to say goodbye.

It in fact was not less painful. A day passed, then two, then a week, then a month. You stared at your phone at all hours of the day, calling and texting waiting for confirmation that he had arrived safely and an explanation on why he went ghost but it never came.

You started your senior year alone. That was the first time you ever realized just how dependent you were on Jake, you had no other friends to go to the movies with, you spent your senior appreciation week alone, you had no one to make plans with when the weekend would roll around. Maybe you should have made deeper connections. You slowly started to lose sight of the end goal, Harvard had always been your dream but your mind was in too much turmoil to see it meaning anything without Jake, your heart can’t stand to be near him but not have a connection to him. You had heard from his mother that he had settled in at Yale and was enjoying his time abroad. You never told your parents what happened down in Sydney, you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about it without crying.

Eventually you began to decline, your grades took a hit and your GPA dropped from the perfect 4.5 it had been sitting at for the past four years to a 3.2. You started failing your core classes and you were kicked off of the varsity volleyball team. Your parents couldn’t understand the sudden change in you. You stopped talking to them, stopped going to your tutoring sessions and stopped caring about life itself. You would only go to school when you felt like it and come straight home before locking yourself in your bedroom. When time came to send in your college applications you didn’t know what to do. You knew Harvard wouldn’t want you and you never considered any other options. You sat down with your guidance counselor and she gave you some options. The majority consisted of staying in Australia, letting you know it didn’t seem possible to go abroad. You limited your application process to four schools, two in Australia and two in Massachusetts. If Harvard didn’t want you, maybe a private school would grant you admission and you could transfer in your sophomore year.

As much as you wanted to be far away from him, Massachusetts happened to have all the top schools that were realistic for you. You applied to Northeastern and Boston college. Neither were the ivy leagues you were hoping to attend but private institutions nonetheless. You sent in your applications for early action, praying you would get in and get to leave Australia behind. You were suffocating here.

Luckily for you, your acceptance letter came from Northeastern and you were quick to accept. You were waitlisted for Boston College and accepted to both Australian unis but you had decided where you were going. You toured Northeastern in the spring with your mom, you both absolutely fell in love with the campus. It was right in the middle of the city, across from the train system making getting around easy. You got to meet the girl you would be dorming with, Avianca; Avi for short. She was very bubbly and sweet, and very opinionated. She had grown up in Boston with her mother and two brothers. Her mother was unable to join the two of you so you went out to brunch with her and your mother. After that your mother left the two of you to go shopping for some things for your dorm.

“Are you excited to start in the fall?” Avi asked as the two of you browsed targets room decor.

You shrug and hug yourself, “I guess.”

Avi stops to look at a large beige throw pillow, “that's all? Aren’t you excited for the new experiences?” She looks up at you, “the boys?”

You play with the tag of the pillow in her hand. “I-” you hesitate and she picks up on it.

“Unless…” she smirks up at you, “you have a boyfriend?”

You pause. Could you even consider Jake a boyfriend? He never officially asked you to be his girlfriend but the two of you did way more than what other couples do in a lifetime. As if reading your mind Avi hums.

“Ahh, I see. It’s complicated?”

“I guess you could call it that.”

She tosses the pillow into the cart, “is it over?”

You continue walking down the aisle as you think back to Jake, this would be your first time ever saying what went down outloud. You were hesitant to tell your parents because of how close they were with Jake, you didn't want this affecting their perspective of him but Avi doesn’t know him, she’s unbiased. And that’s how you found yourself crying inside a target finally opening up about just how hurt you were by Jake’s actions.

Once you finish telling her your story from start to finish, Avi is embracing you. “Jake is a dick. You did not deserve that. I’m so sorry.”

Avi spends the rest of your time together comforting you. She lets you rant about Jake and gives you her two cents every now and then. You felt a little embarrassed at how much you were crying but Avi was quick to reassure you letting you know it was actually time you let it all out. The two of you exchanged numbers before parting ways again and she made you promise to keep in touch with her while you were back home in Australia until your move-in day and that's exactly what you did.

After flying back home you slowly started to rebuild. Jake isn’t a part of your life anymore and you can’t continue to wallow in your self pity. It was time to let go and move on, you would be starting your freshman year of college in four months. You don’t want to be stuck up on someone who wasn’t even thinking of you.

You took the time to learn new hobbies as you didn’t have volleyball to lean on. You took up baking for a bit before getting bored and moving on to painting. You learned how to knit and made yourself some mittens and a scarf to prepare for the cold Boston weather. You even took up photography, opening up a private instagram account to post your pictures as you traveled around Europe during June. It was a graduation gift from your father, you had stops in France, Wales, Germany and Spain. You spent a month traveling before heading back south.

You flew to New Zealand before officially going home to explore the mountains, it was a nice reset. Jake had promised to visit with you but it never happened and you weren’t putting things on hold for him anymore. You would facetime with Avi every night, brainstorming ideas for your room and your plans for welcome week. She had no intention of staying in your dorm that first week before classes started.

At first you were hesitant, going to raves and frat parties meant the inevitable. The possibility of running into Jake would be significantly higher and if you didn’t run into him there was still the fact that you would be approached by some man before the night was over. You had expressed to Avi how you couldn’t see yourself entering a relationship anytime soon. You had yet to fully heal from Jake and the thought of being that vulnerable again terrified you.

She only listened before reminding you that you didn’t have to date every guy that said hi. Some below the belt touching and harmless flirting never hurt anyone. She went on to ramble about how you’re entering your prime and have an insanely hot aussie accent that could help you secure any guy you wanted. You zoned out once she started asking you if you could moan for her so she could take pointers.

Your parents could see the shift in you and it brought them relief, they felt more at ease to send you abroad now that you were in a better mental headspace. You left two weeks before classes started to move in and get accustomed to the new environment. Your parents came to help you and Avi move in before leaving to go back home.

It’s now nighttime and you’ve just officially finished decorating.

“So, there’s this rave at slackers tonight, wanna go?”

You turn to look at Avi from your bed as she sits at her desk organizing her makeup. You snort, “as if I have a choice.” She looks up at you grinning.

“Glad you’re aware! Now get up and go shower, you’re all sweaty and doors close at 8!”

You roll your eyes but listen to her nonetheless. You stumble out of your bed and walk towards your closet to try and brainstorm what to wear. “Is there a theme?”

Avi hums, “yeah early 2000’s.”

You scan your wardrobe to see what you can find before deciding upon a baby blue butterfly top you had gotten off of amazon and a mini cargo skirt. For shoes you settle on some old Nike air forces knowing they would be demolished by the end of the night. You head over to the bathroom and begin getting ready. You try not to take too long, making sure to properly wash your body but you don’t take the time to exfoliate. Once drying off and exiting you make quick work of getting dressed and sitting beside Avi to start your makeup while she works on styling her hair. You don’t take too long for your makeup, choosing to opt for a more natural look and go for a half up/half down hairstyle with two strands out in the front.

Once you’re both ready, you grab your student ID’s and bags before heading out and start the five minute walk to the T. As you’re waiting for the train to arrive you take pictures with Avi to post and make a new story post of the sun setting. Once the green train arrives the two of you hop on and head towards the party venue.

By the time you arrive, the line is still relatively short and you’re inside in under thirty minutes. You scan your surroundings, the club lights are too bright and strobing too fast, just asking for someone to seize. The dance floor is crowded with people and there are drunks stumbling all around you.

Avi spins on her heels and smirks up at you, “what are the odds you get a stranger to buy us drinks?”

You quickly shake your head. “Zero! I’ve never done this before Avi!”

She shrugs, “so? Have you seen yourself? You look so hot, ____.” She makes it a point to slap your ass. “You have all the right assets on display, you just have to use them to your advantage.”

You gasp and rub your sore bottom, “okay one, never do that again. Two, why don’t you get a guy to buy us drinks? Put those tits to good use.”

She smirks. “I was already planning on it. But seriously, I promised to help you get over Jake and what better way to do that than getting under a new man?”

You groan. “Sleeping around isn’t going to help me get over Jake.”

“What makes you think he hasn’t done the same?” You furrow your brows at her and she scoffs. “Come on ____, he’s been in the city for a year while you were on the other side of the world. Jake is hot and I’m sure he knows it just like other girls in Connecticut probably do too, what would really have stopped him from getting his dick wet?”

You stay silent, deep down you know Avi is just being truthful and realistic. Jake had no obligations to you and no one to get in his way of whoring around if he really wanted to as much as it may hurt you.

“Okay.”

Avi’s brows shoot up in shock. “Okay? That’s really all it took?”

You nod firmly, “I’m done putting my life on pause for him. Besides, a little flirting never hurt anyone, right?”

Avi squeals and claps her hands together. “Perfect! I better see you throwing it back on some guy before the night ends!”

The two of you decide to part ways to find your prey of the night. Avi makes quick work of heading to the bar where the older men are to see if she can score some drinks while you idle around the dance floor, scoping out the faces to see who you wanted to make a move on. Before you can set your sights on someone, you feel the warmth of a body behind you though they’re not quite pressing against you yet. It doesn’t feel bad, and neither do the fingertips ghosting along the curve of your waist. You press into their touch a little more. The tentative fingers at your waist get more firm once they realize you’re open to their touch.

“Wanna dance?,” the body behind you asks, lips brushing the shell of your ear. It makes chills prick at your skin. You bite your lip to keep from smiling at the sensation. Your hand goes to cover the bigger one on your waist. You’ve missed being this close to someone. 

You intentionally keep the touch constant when you turn around in their hold. Their palm slides along your body till it’s settling on your lower back just above the swell of your ass.

When you look up, your reply gets caught in your throat.

The owner of the warm body behind you is handsome, strikingly so. Tall, strong. Smile dreamy with dimples, and eyes dark. He gives you a soft grin accompanied by an encouraging nod, wanting you to say what you can’t seem to get out.

“Uh–” you sputter with a wince, before clearing your throat, “Where’s the fun in asking?”

You can’t hear his laugh over the music, but you can tell he’s amused by the way his chest rumbles, and how his eyes curl. The hand at the base of your spine moves to your hip, squeezing gently.

His other hand is moving, too, and you track it until it’s tucking some hair behind your ear. You go still and flush when he leans down to your ear again. “If you insist,” he tells you. You don’t get to respond before he’s forcefully turning you back around and pressing his body into yours. The song changes to an upbeat caribbean mix and the sexy stranger has you bent over, one hand in your hair as a makeshift ponytail and the other resting at the base of your spine as he sensually moves his hips to the beat of the song, practically humping you. You can feel yourself getting wet as his clothed dick brushes against your vagina, your miniskirt and thong barely hiding anything. You begin whining your waist to meet his thrust giving those around you a show. Soon, a circle forms around the two of you as people turn on their camera to film. When the song finally ends the two of you separate and the crowd disperses. Some guys stick around though, hoping you would part form your dance partner and give them a chance to feel you humping them but you never get the chance. The stranger leans down to your ear, “I’m Jungwon.”

You smirk and respond with your name. “I’m, ____. Clearly you’ve done this before Jungwon.” 

Jungwon briefly looks surprised, eyes widening like a child before he’s laughing. “Ah,” he muses, guiding your arms to drape over his shoulders, your hands interlocking behind his neck. His hands do the same around your waist as he pulls you a little closer. “Perhaps but clearly the same goes for you.”

There’s a flutter in your tummy that you haven’t felt in months and it’s exciting. Makes you giddy as you blink up at him sultrily.

“Are you complaining?” you ask him.

He adamantly shakes his head, “Of course not, as long as you’re not in a relationship no complaints over here.”

You cock your head to the side. “I don’t do relationships.” You wait a beat before asking, “Is that what you’re looking for?”

He looks up like he’s thinking. Then he’s shrugging. Crowding your space, cheek brushing yours as he talks into your ear again, he answers, “I want what you want.”

Jungwon doesn’t move out of your space like the times he did before, instead pulling you into him a bit more, making your space his space too. Lips brush against the corner of your jaw, just below your ear. Teasing, yet sure. 

“I want to forget–” Your hand twines into the hair at the nape of his neck when he nips softly at your earlobe, making you gasp quietly, interrupting yourself. “–about someone.”

He lets out a smug sound of understanding. “That sounds doable,” you hear him say, before he purrs confidently, “Let me help you.”

Just as the two of you lean in for a kiss you’re interrupted by the calling of your name.

“____!” You pull away to find Avi stumbling towards you. When she’s close enough, she grips onto your shoulders to try and keep herself up. “H-help.”

You look at her in worry and try to balance her but she’s quickly becoming more and more unstable, her words slurring and her body becoming limp. You begin to panic, “Avi? Avi! You’re scaring me, what's wrong!?”

Jungwon steps in to help you hold her up. “Shit, I think she was laced.”

Your eyes dart to his in worry, sensing your panic Jungwon tries to calm you down. “There’s a hospital nearby. I’ll call an uber and we can head over.”

You nod, trying to steady yourself for Avi’s sake. The two of you make quick work of ushering her out of the building and outside to help her get some fresh air while Jungwon orders the uber. It’s there in seven minutes and the three of you rush to the nearest children's hospital.

Once you arrive, Jungwon hands over Avi to the medical staff while you try and give them the information they need to admit her. She’s rushed into the emergency bay while you and Jungwon are told to sit in the waiting area while they pump her stomach.

“It’s going to be okay. We got her here in time, I’m sure the doctors have everything under control.” Jungwon says as he takes a seat beside you. It’s clear you’re distraught and don’t know what to do but it’s also clear that what you need right now is not only reassurance but a friend. Your shoulders slump instantly and you nod despondently. Cautiously Jungwon entwines your hands together, lacing your fingers with his.

He shifts, leaning his body into you allowing you to cuddle into him for some warmth, your lack of proper clothing clearly not helping. You bite your lip to keep in the tears before resting your head against his shoulder. You close your eyes, basking in his comforting presence, letting both his words and presence wash over you and ease your worries.

The both of you sit in silence for long, drawn-out moments before you finally speak up. “I’m sorry, this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your night.” You pull away and wrap your arms around yourself, “you can go if you’d like.”

Sensing your guilt and apprehension, Jungwon shakes his head softly and removes his bomber jacket to hand to you. You stare at it for a second before taking it and putting it on. “It definitely isn’t how I saw my night going but you clearly need a friend, it wouldn’t be right to leave you alone.”

You twiddle your fingers, “why are you being so nice to me?”

He purses his lips in thought, showcasing his dimples. “Like I said before, it’s clear you need a friend. You’re obviously going through something with a guy you probably really like and your friend is in the hospital after getting laced. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”

You blink at him, embarrassed that he read you so easily. “I-” You cut yourself off and look away, feeling the tears start to well up. “I feel so lost and alone.”

Jungwon slowly reaches for you and brings you in for a hug, letting you cry into his chest. “I moved to this stupid city all by myself and now I miss my parents, I miss my home and worst of all I miss him. Avi is the only friend I have and I can’t help but feel like her being in this position is all my fault! She only wanted to go out to help me move on a-and we made this stupid bet about getting guys to buy us drinks and now she’s getting her stomach pumped!” You angrily rant to Jungwon, overwhelmed by the events that have transpired within the last twenty-four hours.

He listens, gently rubbing your back as you let it all out. “It’s normal to miss your life back at home, going to college is hard enough, let alone having to move to a different continent. I understand the guilt you’re feeling but I doubt Avi is mad at you for what happened, you weren’t the one who drugged her.”

You sniffle and wipe at your nose with the sleeve of his jacket, “I guess so.” You pull away from his wet chest to wipe away the remainder of your tears. “I’m scared.” You softly admit.

“Of what?”

“Being alone again.” You whisper, you can’t help but wonder if Jungwon will stay after this, if Avi will be okay enough to stay for the semester. You pray you don’t lose either of them.

“Good thing I don’t plan on leaving.” Jungwon offers with a soft smile, you look up at him gratefully and wrap him in a hug.

“Thank you.”

The two of you spend the rest of the night in the ER, the doctors eventually come to fetch the two of you to join Avi, letting you know that she’ll be just fine and able to return home the following day. Jungwon stays true to his word and doesn’t leave your side until it’s time for Avi to get discharged. The three of you clamber into the back of the Uber Jungwon ordered and drive to your dorms. While sitting at Avi’s bedside the three of you began conversing about anything and everything. You found out that Jungwon was also a freshman at Northeastern majoring in Biochem. On top of that, he was living in the same dorm as you-his room only two doors down.

Once you arrive, you bid farewell to Jungwon with the promise of grabbing breakfast with him and his roommate Beomgyu the following morning before heading into your own room.

“He’s cute.” Avi says as she gently takes a seat on the couch.

“Jungwon?”

She hums, “sweet kid.”

You nod absentmindedly as you gather your bathroom supplies. “I guess so.”

Friday November 15th - present day

Three months have passed since the beginning of the semester and it’s safe to say that you’re beginning to feel at home in the city. Jungwon stayed true to his word and didn’t leave you. In fact, there was never a moment where you were alone. If you weren’t at Snell studying with Jungwon, you were at your dorm watching shows with Avi or at the dining hall grabbing lunch with Beomgyu. 

The four of you have truly become inseparable these past few months and you’re so grateful for the support they provide. It’s nice to finally have other people to rely on rather than having to rawdog life alone. When the four of you aren’t absolutely swamped with homework you grab dinner together at one of the dining halls before going back to your place for a movie night. Tonight happens to be one of those nights.

“Wollastans hands down has the best snack options,” Beomgyu says as he empties the grocery bag onto your living room floor. Avi hums and takes a seat beside him on the floor in front of the TV.

“That they do.” She reaches for the pack of gummy bears and offers some to Jungwon who’s laid on your couch arms wide open as he smiles up at you waiting for you to take your rightful seat in between his legs. He takes a handful of gummies and thanks Avi before patting his chest.

“Hurry up princess, I'm getting cold.”

You scoff and roll your eyes before kicking off your shoes and making your way across the threshold to plop down in between his arms. “What are we watching tonight?” You ask. Jungwon taps your cheek silently asking you to open up, you do and he plops a cherry bear into your mouth.

“Interview with the vampires.” Beomgyu replies as he ques up the show. Once it’s ready to go Avi hands you a blanket to cover yourself with before she cuddles up to Beomgyu, the two of them whispering to each other lost in their own world. You smile softly at them, you and Jungwon have a running bet of how long it was going to take before the two crack and just get together. They’re adamant that they’re just friends but it’s clear as day feelings are there.

You feel Jungwon wrap his arm securely around your waist before he places a soft kiss atop your head.

As touchy and flirty as the two of you are, you’re just friends. Once Jungwon made it clear he was here to stay you found the confidence to open up to him about Jake. You told him about the ghosting, the sex, how much he meant to you and how you don’t think you’ll ever love someone the way you love him or even be ready for a relationship anytime soon. Jungwon understood and made his intentions clear, he just wanted to make you happy. If that meant putting his feelings on the backburner and doing things your way so be it.

It wasn’t a fair deal at all, Jungwon devoted almost all of his time to you, he would walk you home from your late lectures, wake up at five am to run to Tatte to buy you breakfast before your eight ams, turn down girls who approached him in hopes that when you were ready you’d come running to him.

He did it all without complaint, he loves you fully and without restraint. He’s loved you from the start, he loves you the way you wish Jake had.

You can’t help but think about where Jake would fit in your life now. You’ve changed and made sure your new life left no room for him, you tailored your life to make sure Jake could never waltz back in and destroy all the progress you’ve made. You don’t think he’ll fit in with your group of friends anyhow. As this year has come and passed, you replaced Jake with Jungwon. It’s hard to picture Jake falling back into the role of being your only friend in your life.

You have Avi, Beomgyu and Jungwon. They look out for you and make sure to take care of you. It’s a reciprocal friendship, they’re pouring into you just as much as you pour into them if not more.

You snap out of your thoughts when Jungwon softly pinches your side. “You zoned out, are you okay?”

You nod your head and play with his fingers under the blanket. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

You feel him take in a sharp breath before pulling you into him even more. “I’m the lucky one.”

___

As the movie night comes to a close, you sit up from Jungwon’s hold to stretch, your friends following your actions. You reach for your phone to check the time to see if you can squeeze in one more movie.

“It’s only nine, we can start another show or watch a movie.” You offer

Jungwon wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you in closer to his side, “I don’t have anything to do tomorrow, I’m down.”

Avi stands up and clears her throat. “Actually can we go out?”

Beomgyu looks up at her questioningly, “wanna ride the blue bikes around campus?”

She shakes her head, “a Harvard frat is hosting to-”

“Absolutely not.” You cut her off. You haven’t been to another college party since the one at slackers, the sight of Avi getting drugged permanently put you off from the party scene.

She huffs, “why not!?”

You give her an incredulous look. “Are you being serious? You were drugged the last time we went to one, I don’t want to see you in the ER again!”

The boys can sense the growing tension, Beomgyu stands and tries to calm Avi and Jungwon soothingly rubs your arms.

“It was one time! I won’t drink this time!”

“I still don’t feel comfortable.” She throws her hands up and turns to pout at Beomgyu knowing it’s a weakness of his.

“Yah! this is between the two of you, stop pouting at me.” He says in response before turning on his heel to head to your kitchen to raid it for some more food. You huff and turn to Jungwon to have him plead your case but he only shakes his head, he knows better than to get in between the two of you.

“Uh-uh, No. You two figure this out.”

He stands from his seat beside you to go join Beomgyu in the kitchen.

Avi takes Jungwon’s seat and grabs your hands. “I promise I won’t drink! I know better now and the guys will be there! You know they won’t let anything happen to either of us! Come on, _____ please!”

You sigh and shift your attention to the boys goofing off in your kitchen, Avi is right. The boys wouldn’t let the two of you out of their sight, especially Jungwon as he was there for the last party the three of you had attended.

“Fine.”

The living room of the frat is completely packed, people are scattered around the home, either dancing in a large group in the middle of the living room, relaxing in the kitchen with drinks in hand or smoking blunts upstairs. Something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by you is the hordes of couples pressed up against each other and the walls, making out and grinding against each other for the entirety of the house to see without a single care in the world.

You turn to face your friends, “an hour tops then we’re out of here!”

Avi playfully rolls her eyes, “aye aye captain.”

She grabs Beomgyu’s hand and they walk into the midst of the party leaving you with Jungwon. “Want to grab a drink with me?”

You pull your attention away from a guy who’s completely wasted and forcing another to a dance off to Jungwon who’s standing next to you. You shrug, “sure.”

You both exit from the hallway where your little group had clustered and enter the kitchen to grab a drink. Jungwon hands you a water bottle but you nudge away his hand and reach for a red solo cup to pour yourself a shot of tequila. You knock it back and move down the counter to pour yourself some of the punch.

Jungwon watches you in worry as you pucker your lips at the taste of the punch, “I thought no drinking tonight.”

“No drinking for Avi. Plus it’s for the nerves.”

He nods at you and takes a sip of his water. “What has you on edge?”

You look around the kitchen sadly before confessing what’s weighing on your heart. “It feels so odd being here, it was my dream for so long and now it’s just some other school down the block.”

Jungwon hums before scanning the area himself. “Do you regret choosing Northeastern?”

You sigh, “I..” you trail off to really think through your answer. Northeastern has become more than a safety net. You have a family here because of the school, people who love and care about you without restraint and would be crushed if you up and left them. You also can’t help but feel as though there’s a double meaning to Jungwon’s question. “I don’t think so, more so mourning what could have been here.”

Jungwon nods, “are you still thinking about transferring?”

You shake your head. “No, I think it’s time to close the chapter on this time period in my life.”

Jungwon stills beside you, to him, Harvard = Jake and the life you lived with him back at home in Australia, does this mean this is finally the end of you and that dirtbag?

You smile and place your arms around Jungwon’s neck. “I think it's time to start focusing on what I have here at Northeastern…with you.”

Jungwon swears he feels his heart stop at your words, are you finally going to give him a chance? His eyes suddenly gleam with mischief as he rests his hands on your waist and squeezes you a little tighter and yanks you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crash into his chest, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widen in complete surprise. 

“Are you saying what I think you are?” He teases with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face. 

You ignore the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneer at him. “Don’t be smug, I can still change my mind, you know.” You force space between you two and try removing his hands from your waist but his grip transforms into an iron lock. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Try me.”

He pulls you in close and leans in to whisper, “yeah? Then who's gonna do this?” He doesn’t wait for you to question him, leaning in right away to place his lips on yours and cage you between him and the kitchen counter. Your eyes blow out, taken by surprise until you find yourself quickly melting into the kiss, hands gripping his shoulders tighter. Jungwon can’t help himself from opening up his mouth to catch more of yours, lips sensually kissing yours in a slow, unhurried pace. 

You instantly love the way he kisses, completely taken by his pillowy, delicate lips. 

Jungwon doesn’t care if your lipstick smudges onto him or how brash the public display of affection seems; all he cares about is the soft feeling of your lips against his own for the first time and the fact that you’re willing to be his.

He knows it’s going to stay on his mind for weeks. 

You’re beginning to get lost until he disconnected your mouths, only looking at each other with overwhelming feelings and shimmering eyes that depict how nervous you are for this new step.

“Wanna dance with me?” You shyly ask.

Jungwon smirks, his mind recalling the first time he ever met you at that slackers party. “Where’s the fun in asking?” He mocks, you roll your eyes at the familiarity of his words before dragging him out of the kitchen and into the living room to dance away your inhibitions.

The two of you make your way to the center of the room knowing once you start dancing, all eyes will be on you. Jungwon squeezes your hips one last time before turning you around and helping you slowly grind down on him to the beat of the song, once you have a steady rhythm going on he begins to buck his hips to meet your pace.

Just like that night at slackers, you’re bent over whining your waist against Jungwon and catching the attention of those around you. Jungwon sneaks one arm around your front and gently squeezes at your right boob under your crop top, getting turned on by how your butt applies the right amount of pressure to his cock every time you bounce off of it and the lustful gaze of those watching. He could cum in his pants. You have to bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning.

As the song comes to a close Jungwon releases you and places a kiss against the base of your neck, “I’m going to grab us drinks, stay right here baby.”

You nod and let him remove himself from you completely to go get the two of you drinks, you turn around to see if you could potentially find Beomgyu or Avi and spend some time with them until he returns but before you even get the chance to fully scope out the area you feel someone grab onto your wrist and spin you around.

You’re about to tell the stranger off but your words get caught in your throat when you turn around to find a tall blonde man dressed in all black staring you down. You exhale sharply at the way he seemingly undresses you with his eyes.

“You sure know how to put on a show, princess.”

You feel your face heat up a bit at the use of pet name and being called out on the way you were just dry humping Jungwon. Not knowing what to say you wait for him to continue. Picking up on that, the stranger continues, “I’m Jay, what’s your name darling?”

“____” you breathlessly let out.

He hums and pulls you in closer, “sexy name for a sexy girl, who’s that guy? Your boyfriend?”

His hands travel down to grab at your ass over your leggings and you have a feeling that even if you were taken, Jay wouldn’t care.

You bite down a moan at the way he caresses your ass, taking turns between rolling the flesh and pinching it every now and then. He lands a sharp slap to your bottom when you don’t answer, his patience running thin. “Answer me princess.”

You shake your head, “n-no I’m si-”

Before you can finish your statement Jay gets ripped away from you by another male who huffs out in playful annoyance. “C’mon mate, it’s my birthday and you’re ditching me for some action?”

This time, your blood truly runs cold. Standing in front of you in all his glory for the first time in a year and three months is Sim Jaeyun. His eyes sweep over to you and the smile that was just gracing his face begins to slowly fall. Your eyes greedily take him in. You notice he’s dyed his hair back to black and grown it out a bit, parting it in the middle like you used to do for him during your walk to school. His shoulders also seem a bit wider, did he start working out? You even note his style has changed, gone are the tight skinny jeans and random hoodies. He’s dressed in wide legend pants paired with a simple white tee tucked in and Jordans on his feet.

“____.” He breathlessly lets out.

Hearing him call out to you breaks your heart, after all this time you thought you would be angry at him for what he did. Swearing to Avi that if you ever ran into him you were going to rip him a new one, maybe even slap him for having the audacity to hurt you the way he did. But now that you’ve been graced with the opportunity all you feel is a deep sadness, all your anger gone in that instant.

You see Jay’s eyes bug out of his head as he looks between the two of you. “She’s ____?”

Your eyes flicker over to Jay as you make the assumption Jake must have told him all about the two of you. Jake reaches a hand out to grab yours but you instantly jerk away from his touch. He doesn’t deserve it, your mind screams at you.

“Don’t.” You grit out, fighting back the tears.

Jake’s face falls even more at the malice in the simple word, heart breaking at how you avoid his touch but respects it nonetheless.

“Please, let me just ex-”

You don’t let him finish before you’re spinning on your heel and bolting out of the party. You knock into a few partygoers, the alcohol finally taking its effect. You hear muffled shouts of your name as you push past people to make it outside to the lawn. In your daze you don’t see your friends running after you.

You stumble out of the party and onto the lawn. The front of the frat house is nearly empty, save for you and a couple that’s making out on the grass. You stagger towards a bush when the overwhelming feeling of vomiting consumes you. Your stomach contracts violently and all the liquor you had consumed comes back up splattering the bushes.

“____!” You hear Jungwon call out your name before he’s kneeling beside you and holding your hair back.

You heave again and once more the contents of your stomach spray the ground. You sink to your knees and retch until only clear liquid is coming up. Your throat feels sore from the stomach acid that is layering it and your mouth tastes of vomit.

Avi kneels beside you and rubs your back soothingly as Beomgyu stands protectively in front of you, shielding you from Jake’s view as he tries to grab your attention, constantly calling your name.

“It’s alright,” you hear Jungwon whisper as you feel your stomach begin to settle. He slowly ties your hair up for you using a hair tie Avi offers and once he’s sure Avi has a steady grip on you, he’s standing to square up to Jake.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Jungwon asks. Beomgyu’s eyes widen the tiniest fraction at his roommate's question, knowing damn well he can’t fight and Jungown might be alone in this one.

Jake scoffs and steps up to Jungwon, his own annoyance at its peak. “I’m her best friend who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your friends all still at the realization of who exactly the stranger is. Avi is the first to react, scoffing at his audacity from beside you as she looks up at him.

“You know you got a lot of fucking nerve to even call yourself that. You’re the one who ghosted her, you’re the one who left. You don’t get to claim that title anymore.”

Jake falters at the harsh glare he’s receiving from your friends but he’s determined to speak to you.

“You don’t know shit.” Jay spits out from behind Jake knowing the true story as to why Jake did what he did. Albeit shitty, his friend had his reasons and he wasn’t going to let anyone shame him for the decisions he made as a kid fresh out of high school.

Beomgyu swears he sees red. “Watch it.” He says as he shoves at Jay’s chest. Jay, having none of it though, pushes back causing Jungwon and Jake to have to step in and separate their friends before things escalate.

Jake pulls his friend away and harshly whispers in his ear before Jay scoffs and walks away back into the party. Jake clears his throat and turns back to you and your friends who are all still glaring and making a protective front around you.

“Please, ____. I Just need one chance to explain myself.”

Jungwon opens his mouth to respond for you but you're quicker than him.

“No.” Your voice is firm, “you don’t get to hurt me the way you did and expect me to give you the courtesy of explaining why you chose to break my heart.”

From your seated position you can see the tears swimming in his eyes and it almost makes you crack. Almost. But you need to choose you for once. You need to stop throwing caution to the wind when it comes to Sim Jaeyun, he never once did that for you.

“You’re a year too late.”

Still determined and not deterred by your stance, Jake takes a cautious step forward, stopping when Jungwon deems he’s gotten too close and steps up as well to place a hand on Jake’s chest.

“I’m sorry, ____. I know I fucked everything up and-and that I don’t deserve another chance but please-” He chokes back a sob, “please just let me explain!” Avi rolls her eyes and helps you stand. “What good will that do? You’re right, you don’t deserve shit from her. Explaining why you’re a shitty person isn’t going to change anything.”

Although harsh, Avi is right. Hearing him out won’t change the fact that he no longer has a spot in your life, it won’t change the damage he’s caused, it won’t do anything.

“Let’s go guys.” You weekly let out, completely drained and craving the warmth of your bed.

“____!”

You ignore Jake’s call of your name and leave with your friends surrounding you, making it impossible for him to see you anymore. Your heart seizes in your chest at the desperation in his voice as he calls out to you but you keep walking, you leave him behind like he did to you all those months ago.

[November 15th, 12:35 AM]

[jake]: can we please talk?

[jake]: i’m sorry

[jake]: please

[jake]: _____?

[November 16th, 2:48 PM]

[jake]: i know you don’t want to talk to me but please let me explain ____

[jake]: i’ll leave you alone after, i swear

[November 17th, 6:15 PM]

[jake]: i’ll be at caffe nero near newbury tomorrow at 2 until they close

[jake]: please come and let me explain, i’ll leave you alone regardless of what you decide.

Jake stares down at his phone as he hits send, over the past two days he’s been sending you text messages praying you’ll respond but each one has been left on delivered. He doesn’t know if you’ve read them or even blocked him.

He tosses his phone aside and drops down on his hard dorm bed staring up at his ceiling wondering why he let things get so bad. He thought he was making the right decision for the both of you, thought he was doing right by you by leaving you alone.

Falling in love takes courage he doesn't possess at the time. You never stood a chance and it's little wonder why you felt so cheated.

Leading up to his departure from Australia everything was perfect, it was a dream. He had the girl of his dreams, a scholarship to the school of his dreams and for once- a supportive family backing every decision he made. It was new, it was different. It was scary. Jake grew up having to fight for his parents attention and had to work for their love, it was conditional, he had to be perfect. Being given it so freely and easily by you came as a shock.

He knew just how much you loved him, how much you had sacrificed over the years for him, he doesn’t deserve it now and he sure as hell didn’t think he deserved it back then. How could he love you if he barely understood how it worked? He had such a twisted view on love. At the time he thought it came with conditions, that he couldn’t love or be loved without conditions. That it was only a matter of time before the hammer dropped on your changing relationship and you began expecting more from him as a boyfriend, more that he couldn’t give.

Reading the letter was what really did it for him.

Of course he didn’t listen to you when you told him to read it once he was on the plane. He waited until you fell asleep and reached into the drawer to retrieve the letter and began reading it. Jake read it over and over again until he had it memorized, so much so that he still has it memorized to this day. He left you with the original but wrote it down on a napkin on the plane when he realized how big of a mistake it was to leave it. He sits up to walk over to his desk and retrieve his written version of the letter and begins to read it once again.

Dear Jake, my sweet angel boy,

I should have told you this right after prom: that there's this special love that I have deep within my heart. That love is only for you. It is far greater than this world. I wish I could show you how much you really mean to me. If I could only let you feel how much I really do love you in a kiss or a hug, you would begin to feel the love that I have for you.

If I could describe the love that I have for you and use lyrics of love songs or even the sonnets of Shakespeare, it would still be impossible, because the love that I love for you cannot be put into words. You've had my love from the day we met, and you will have it forever. As time goes by, my heart and love for you will keep growing stronger, brighter, and bigger.

Call me your love from this day forward. Although we have two different minds, and souls, we have one and the same beautiful heart. My love for you is unconditional. Please don’t forget that.

I love you with all my heart, body, and soul. I will never stop loving you. You are my life, my world, and everything to me. Distance may keep us apart for a short while but you will always and forever be embedded deep within my heart.

My beautiful love, you are my world and you have been since the first time I saw you. I felt love the first time I looked at you all those years ago in your backyard, and my world became a beautiful place to live in. I often ask myself, what in the world would I do without you now? I hope to never find out the answer to that question.

I’m writing you this letter to tell you how much you mean to me, and to thank you for coming into my life. You are something I never thought could exist for me. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, and I don't regret telling you how I feel.

I love you Sim Jaeyun, today, tomorrow, forever.

Tears swim in Jake’s eyes as he places the letter back in the depths of his desk. He wishes so badly that he didn’t run, that he stayed and talked through his fears with you but he was too much of a coward and knew deep down that you deserved better. He never deserved you to begin with and he was a fool for ever thinking a broken boy like him could ever love someone as amazing as you.

After leaving, Jake found it hard to settle into his new routine. He missed your presence every single day, finding it harder and harder to ignore your text messages asking how he was, if he had eaten, if he liked the campus.

By the time Jake had realized how big of a mistake he made and just how much of an ass he looked like, he couldn’t take it back. The damage had quite literally been done and it seemed you were moving on. The text messages stopped coming in, he was removed from your close friends and his mother no longer had any updates for him when he would ask. Apparently, you had stopped going over and it was rare to catch glimpses of you as the school year progressed.

When he had heard from his brother that you were no longer on the volleyball team he wanted to reach out and ask what happened. You loved the sport too much to just quit, especially during your senior year but Jake had a feeling he was the last person you wanted to hear from.

His first semester at Yale was nothing like he expected it to be, everything was dull and lifeless. Every day was the same routine: wake up, shower and brush his teeth, get dressed and head to lectures before studying at the library until midnight because his roommate had a girl over.

He felt like he was slowly losing his sanity. As the end of his first semester came to a close and winter break was fastly approaching Jake decided he had had enough. Yale meant nothing if you weren’t in his life. He knew at that point you had probably sent in your college applications and were practically a shoe-in for Harvard so he did what he thought would bring him peace.

He sent in his transfer application before the end of the semester to be able to start in the spring and got his acceptance right before winter break. He didn’t tell his parents about the sudden decision, knowing they wouldn’t be happy with him but he was done living in his fear. It was what caused him to lose you and he would be damned if he let it happen again.

He eventually told them once everything was set and as expected he received an earful about his decision from his father before he realized how deadset his son was on this before backing down.

Once the spring semester started Jake could slowly feel his world start to mend. Everything seemed brighter at Harvard; the physics program was easier, the people were kinder, he had friends and his new roommate wasn’t an ass.

Jay and Jake clicked the second Jake rolled his suitcases into the new room. Jay took him under his wing and treated him like a little brother. It felt nice to have someone to rely on, sure Jay wasn’t you but he slowly became someone who meant the world to him and he looked up to. Eventually Jay introduced Jake to his friends Heeseung and Sunghoon and the four became an inseparable group. The four of them truly did everything together: they took all their gen ed classes together, they attended each other's sporting events and they would often go to frats together with Jake staying sober to take care of his friends.

The guys never pushed Jake to explore the women that approached him at parties knowing his heart belonged to you. They had heard him go on and on about you on several occasions and knew he only transferred to be close to you. They admired his determination to right his wrongdoings but were truthfully skeptical if it would work. They encouraged him to just text you, arguing the more time he let pass the harder it would be to win you back but Jake argued back that this was something that couldn’t be fixed over text.

The semester flew by and Jake was increasingly getting excited. Once he had submitted his last final exam he was on the first flight back home to Australia in June. He couldn’t wait for you to start school in the fall to talk to you and he was long overdue for a trip back home, two birds with one stone. However, when he made it back home to Brisbane his dreams were once again crushed. His mother informed him about your solo trip to Europe and how your parents had sent you away under the guise of it being a graduation gift but really it was out of fear of your declining mental health.

Jake was lost, he had heard nothing about your mental state as his mother insisted she knew nothing about your life anymore when he would inquire about you over the phone. It came as a shock when his mom sat him down to tell him about you being kicked off the volleyball team rather than you just leaving like he assumed, how you no longer attended study groups and even skip school now. What came as the biggest shock was hearing you didn’t get into Harvard. Jake felt absolutely disgusted with himself.

He had caused this, he was the reason behind your suffering and yet he had the audacity to show up here thinking you would welcome him back. He was right, he really doesn’t deserve you. Look at all the pain he’s caused you and what you’ve lost in the process.

He didn’t stick around much longer after that, He flew back to the states a week before you came back from New Zealand and became hell bent on leaving you alone. He owed you that much, some peace after bringing nothing but chaos into your life.

The rest of his summer was a haze, he spent it getting high or drunk with Heeseung and Jay. He didn’t tell his friends about what he had heard from back home, the guilt eating at him but he made it clear that there would be no Jake and ____. The two of you were officially done.

Heesung and Jay were obviously worried about their friend, they knew of the love the male held for you and to see him so torn up over it that he was drinking all his inhibitions away or smoking until he was numb was alarming but they didn’t stop him.

They did however intervene towards the end of the summer when Sunghoon came back from Korea and Jake insisted the group went to an end of summer kickback. They had never seen Jake so out of it, he got so crossfaded that he passed out at the party and was unresponsive for twenty minutes.

Emergency services had to be called and the party got shut down. It was safe to say his friends were done with his shit and sat him down and forced him to talk about his emotions because they would be damned if they watched him continue down this path and eventually die from it.

That night was an eye opener for Jake and he swore he would get better, promised he would stop holding things in and be more upfront about how he was feeling. Seeing Jay cry over the possibility of his death was what really put things into perspective for him, the thought of you also possibly being torn over him dying got him to take his sobriety seriously.

His friends held him accountable as the new school year began, they cut back on frat parties, made the effort to not drink as much around him and even began being more open with each other due to Jay’s claims of “vulnerability breeds vulnerability.”

It was safe to say that Jake was finally beginning to heal. He knew sooner or later he would have to face the consequences of his actions and he was fully prepared to do so, just not so soon. It was Sunghoon’s idea to go to the frat at Kappa Alpha Theta for his birthday. Jake was fully prepared to say no and spend the day alone. This would be his second birthday spent away from you and he wanted the privacy to read through old birthday paragraphs you’ve sent him over the years and stare at the polaroids he took of you during your getaway to Sydney.

Jay and Heesung were having none of it though and insisted he needed to actually celebrate his birthday like Sunghoon said. Jake eventually caved when the three of them offered to stay sober with him. Seeing you at that party was devastating but seeing you in another man's arms was infuriating. Jake knew he had no right to be upset with you but it irked him that he was no longer the only male in your life. Jay had told him about the dance that took place before everything went to shit and Jake couldn’t help but wonder if you had fully moved on from him. Heeseung had to remind him that if you had, Jake couldn’t be upset with you, he had practically pushed you into Jungwon’s arms the second he decided to leave you behind in Australia.

“How long do you plan on staring at your phone?” Heeseung asks as he enters the younger male's room with Jay and Sunghoon trailing behind him.

Jake sighs and tosses the device to the side, “she still hasn’t responded.”

Sunghoon takes a seat beside Jake on the bed, “give her some space dude I’m sure seeing you at the party was the last thing she expected.”

Jay hums, “you did what you can. Give her space to decide what she wants.”

Jake heeds the advice of his friends. He’s inconvenienced you enough, leaving you alone to decide if you want to meet him is what you need now. He can only hope you do decide to hear him out.

“I don’t think you should go.”

You look up at Avi who’s standing above you on the couch staring down at your phone screen, contempt written all over her face. You gently sigh and lock your phone, letting it fall on the couch with a soft thud.

“I know.”

Ever since the party Jake has constantly been texting you. Avi was beyond annoyed with the male and his inability to- “leave you the fuck alone.” You would read them as they come in, unable to bring yourself to delete the messages like Beomgyu advised when you told him about them.

“Just block his number, ____.” Avi huffs, crossing her arms as she stares down at you. You look away and draw figure eights into the couch cushions as you think.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

It’s silent for a beat, you think for a few seconds before shrugging. “I don’t know.”

Avi sighs and uncrosses her arms. “You’re being selfish.”

You stop drawing imaginary shapes on the couch and fix your eyes on Avi, waiting for her to continue.

“What about Jungwon? Have you stopped to consider what this would do to him if you let Jake just waltz his way back into your life?”

You purse your lips, you haven’t talked to the younger male since the party. He’s been reaching out as well, trying to gauge how you’re feeling with the sudden appearance of Jake but you’ve yet to open them let alone respond.

“I don’t k-”

Avi groans in annoyance, cutting you off. “-I swear if you say I don’t know one more time, ____! Can’t you see how bad Jake is for you? One appearance and a few text messages and look at you! You’re not talking to us anymore, you haven’t left your bed in almost two days! Jake is toxic, this isn’t healthy!”

For some reason you want to defend his name, want to call Avi out on being a bitch but you don’t. You know she’s being logical and Jake doesn’t deserve it so you keep quiet. When she realizes her approach may have been a bit too harsh she softens a bit and takes a seat beside you.

“I’m sorry, I just-.” She cuts herself off with a deep inhale. “Jake will never love you the way Jungwon has. It’s harsh but true. Maybe Jake did have his reasons but that doesn’t change the fact that his approach was wrong. He didn’t stop to consider how hurt you would be and that’s not okay. Do you really want to be with someone who can hurt you so easily?”

She gently pats your back before continuing knowing you won’t answer. “Jake is selfish, he’s only ever cared about himself and Jungwon has only cared about you. Don’t miss out on what could be a great love with Jungwon because you’re infatuated with the idea of being with Jake.”

With that, she gets up and leaves you to stew in your thoughts. She’s right, Jungwon was the one to stay and pick up the pieces. He was the one to show you that love didn’t have to be painful, he’s patient, kind and above all absolutely madly in love with you. He healed you from the pain Jake caused so why are you self sabotaging? Who’s to say Jake won’t hurt you again? That he even has a valid reason for stringing you along?

Your phone buzzes on the couch pulling you out of your reverie. You sigh, expecting to find another text from Jake as you pick it up to look at it only to find it’s not from him but rather the other male you’ve been ignoring.

[November 17th, 7:37 PM]

[jungwon]: do you want to grab lunch with me at tatte tmr at 2?

You want to scream at how fate is playing out, now you really have to choose.

[November 18th, 2:17 PM]

You march up the sidewalk to the sound of the steady patter of rain against the pavement that leads to the little cafe that’s tucked between the huge city buildings and hidden away from view with vines crawling up its side. You come to a stop in front of the door and take a deep breath to calm yourself before entering.

A part of you is scared you’ve made the wrong decision, you want to turn around and run to him but you know you need to see this through. People love to think about the what if’s: what if I chose the wrong major? What if we weren’t meant to ever meet? What if things had just gone the way I had so desperately wanted them to?

For you, it's what could have been that plagues your mind. To you, they’re far worse than what if’s because they were within your reach, the possibility of it coming to fruition so near but never close enough.

Jake has been your biggest what could have been, your almost. You try and reason that it’s okay that you picked him in the end, you need to know why. Why your love wasn’t enough, why the two of you aren’t together, why he was so quick to give up on the two of you.

You head inside and note the cafe isn’t big, it’s small and cozy. You spot Jake easily, he’s sitting near the back by a window facing you. He offers you a hesitant smile and wave of his hand. You exhale and slowly walk towards his booth and slide into the seat across from him. He meekly slides a drink across the table.

“I know you always liked lattes so I ordered one for you, I hope you don’t mind.”

You look down at the drink he had slid over to your side. It sits prettily in a white china cup, a leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the pale brown. You wrap your fingers around it, enjoying the heat that spreads through your hands, grateful for the little warmth it provides. You take a hesitant sip, it’s bitter, but you recall telling Jake that only babies ask for hot chocolate.

Truth is, you had stopped drinking lattes once your friendship with him ended, the drink brought back too many unwanted memories. Memories of walking to the nearest cafe in Brisbane during finals season to get your coffee fix to stay up and finish studying were too apparent and hurt too much.

You take a bigger sip and this time let the warm liquid sit on your tongue for longer. You can't smell the bitterness of coffee beans in the warm air of the cafe and you feel safe and calm for just a moment. You allow yourself to get enveloped in the smell of baking bread and let your worries slip away for just a split second.

You place the cup back onto the table and slowly come back to reality. “Thank you.”

Jake shoots a shy smile your way and shrugs, “anything for you.”

You clear your throat and sit straighter, back on alert. You fiddle with the handle of your teacup not knowing what to say. Was this a mistake after all?

Jake, sensing your hesitance, decides to speak up first. “I’m sorry.”

“Why’d you do it?”

Jake studies your face for a good minute. He notes all the subtle changes about you, he picks up on your new hairstyle and the change in your clothes. He also picks up on the awkwardness that hangs in the air, things have never been this tense between the two of you and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“I was scared that I wouldn’t be enough.” Jake looks away for a brief moment to collect his emotions and make his apology sound as sincere as it can be. “Ever since we were nine you’ve loved me and I was scared that I would mess things up, that once we made things official you would expect more from me, more that I didn’t know how to give and that ultimately I would be the cause of your unhappiness and all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, ____.”

“I had enough love for the both of us,” you softly confess, your heart breaking at the revelation of how he truly felt at the time. “Why didn’t you just say that? Why didn’t you let me love you?”

Jake gulps, tears stinging his eyes. “Because it didn’t seem like a fair trade. You don’t deserve someone broken. I thought love came with conditions and I didn’t want to drain you.”

You frown, growing annoyed with how he declares how you feel. It irks you how his brain works, how he assumed how you would react, how you would feel rather than giving you the opportunity to brave through the motions together.

“You don’t get to just make decisions on my half.”

Jake stiffly nods. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Your hands ball up into fists, anger beginning to consume your body. “I’m sorry isn’t enough! I was in love with you Jake! I was willing to go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile! Why didn’t you just talk to me? I would have loved you enough until you could love yourself! We could have made it work!”

Jake shakes his head, “no we couldn’t have.”

You glare at him, “why the fuck not!?”

This time Jake stays silent. Your eyes challenge him though, begging him to continue. To give you one good reason as to why he walked away but he gives you nothing, once again making you look like a fool for throwing caution to the wind and picking him.

Angry tears pool in your eyes as you forcefully stand from your seat and stare down at Jake. He looks up at you in surprise and shame. “Don’t you fucking get it? Even after all this time, I’m still in love with you!” You scoff as you see his eyes widening at your confession. “And yet you still can’t be honest with me, I feel so stupid. You make me stupid Sim Jaeyun.”

You don’t wait for him to respond before you’re bolting out of the coffee shop and out into the rain. It’s coming down harder now than it was when you left. You let out a string of curses at how soaked you’re getting and at how embarrassed you feel for confessing your love to Jake.

“____! ____, wait!”

You hear him calling out to you but you don’t stop, if anything it spurs you on to walk faster. The streets of Newbury are astonishingly empty due to the rain making it seemingly easy for a clean escape. What you fail to take into account though is Jake’s ability to sprint due to years of soccer.

He grabs onto your arm and spins you around to face him, determination written all over his face.

“I don’t deserve love, ____ I don’t!” Jake can feel his head spin with hurt, pain and daunting thoughts that have always plagued his self-deprecating mind. “That’s why I walked away. I can’t be loved, not by you, not my dad, not by anyone. I’m not worthy of it… I’m not a lovable person.” 

“Oh my Gosh..” You place a hand over your mouth, emotions reaching a crescendo as you raise your voice. “Yes you are, Jake. Why do you think I’m standing here and telling you I love you? Why do you think I ever did any of the things I’ve done for you? Couldn’t you see it in the way I looked at you? In the way I touched you, the way I trusted you? You’re worth every fucking last bit of love I have.” 

“You are the greatest love I have ever known, ____. It felt selfish to keep you all to myself knowing you could have had more! Knowing I was holding you back-”

You shake your head cutting him off, “I only ever wanted you. You were always more than enough Jake and I wish you had just told me! I would have reassured you each and every time! That’s what you do when you love someone!”

Jake suddenly closes the gap between you, gripping your face intimately as he looks into your frantic eyes. “I didn’t know how to talk through my emotions, ____. I thought it was better to deal with it alone and that caused me the best thing I’ve ever had. I’m still in love with you. My feelings are so strong I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t think straight, I don’t think straight when it comes to you.” Your eyes stare back at his desperate ones, Jake trying so desperately hard to get you to understand. “I want to try again. I want to do it right this time and never let you go.”

Your lips quiver, taken aback by his warm touch and confession. Unable to resist the urge any longer, Jake slowly leans forward, one hand firmly grasping your waist, the other resting at the base of your neck, and presses your lips together. Lightning cracks overhead as the rain continues to pour down on the two of you, soaking through your clothes. But none of it matters. A warmth radiates through you as you continue kissing Jake as the world seems to melt around you. After a few moments, you slowly pull away, taking a small gasp of air. A sheepish smile creeps onto Jake’s face as you sigh against his lips, breaking eye contact for a moment before Jake plants another, shorter kiss on your lips.

“I love you, ____. I’m sorry for not trying hard enough before but please, give me another chance to love you the right way. The way you deserve. I’m not scared anymore.”

You sniffle and nod your head, “”Okay. Let’s try again. No hiding this time. I want all parts of you Jaeyun, even the parts that scare you.”

He smiles and pecks your lip one last time. “You have all of me.”

#time for the tags !!🏷️ #enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #sim jaeyun smut #jaeyun imagines #jaeyun smut #jake smut #jake imagines #sim jake imagines #sim jake smut #enha smut #jungwon imagines #jungwon #jungwon angst #Jake angst #enha fanfic #enha x reader #jake x reader #jungwon x reader #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop fanfiction #enhypen x reader

[fairuzfan]

I have concern that I may still be technically zionist despite claiming to be pro-palestine. This is because I knew very little about Palestine when October 7th happened, so in the time since I have been reluctant to have a stance on a two-state or one-Palestinian-state solution. I know now that almost all of Isreal is stolen land and recognize Isreal only exists due to colonialism, it took me a long time to learn that but I know it now. Before I knew that, I knew that regardless of the prior history that in current day Palestine is being subjected to a genocide. However, I struggle with politics and therefore struggle with understanding how a one-Palestinian-state could be achieved and have concern about what would happen to any genuinely innocent people who live in Isreal. To be clear, Isreal as a whole is guilty and I just have concern about what will happen to the portion of people in Isreal who are just as horrified as the rest of the world at what their government is doing. I do not personally know any Palestinians, so I have not known who to talk to about this especially since I do not want to overstep in any way. Theres more context I could provide but I wont because this is roughly the gist of where I am currently at when it comes to my concerns about whether or not I am still zionist. Do you have any reccomendations as to what I can do about my concerns? I am not sure whether or not I am overstepping right now by asking you this, but I do not know any other Palestians on a personal level that I can go to.

hey thanks for sending this in. i think we all have zionist biases that we have to unlearn, even i catch myself falling for it sometimes. so it's not necessarily a moral failing if you're trying to undo the zionism you've been taught. thanks for trying to undo it!

i do want to correct you a bit thought, in that *all* of israel is stolen land because israel is a settler colonial society. until it is relabeled as "Palestine" it can't not be stolen land.

I guess my advice is that you read scholarship and perspectives on palestinian thought and heritage. i can't tell you what a free palestine will look like but i can tell you what i imagine it to be. but what i can tell you is that the state of israel is fully intent on erasing all traces of palestinian life no matter what.

i guess i can tell you why "two state solutions" don't really work because there is no.... prevention of settlement building in the west bank and they'll never really promote *not* settling in the west bank. like i really cannot imagine a world where there aren't settlers on palestinian land no matter the case. and that's even not allowing palestinians the right of return to their homes and expecting them to give up what they dedicated their lives to. many palestinians in the west bank and gaza are themselves refugees because they were displaced in '48. so no matter what, palestinians will always get the short end of the stick and told to "just deal with it."

plus, why are we concerned with the supposed future danger towards israelis when the current, very real danger towards palestinians exists? shouldn't we prioritize actual events over hypothetical ones? why should we concern ourselves with the future when for palestinians its not a guarantee? i have no idea what's going to happen to gaza, for example.... shouldn't we prioritize that gaza lives on today?

i think i would question why you think israelis are inherently in danger in a one state solution? like do you assume that palestinians will all universally commit violence on all israelis? is it because you believe that hamas wants to kill every single israeli jew no matter what? if so, i think that's where your problem lies — in the assumption that peace can only be achieved through segregation just in a lighter form (because the state of israel relies on segregation as a principal of its existence as a jewish state). what about the palestinians who fear living side by side with the same people who raped, tortured, and murdered them for 75 years, or advocated for their deaths? aren't they inherently in more danger?

i mean palestinians have consistently been painted as the villains for more than 75 years. like in every aspect. i think to really truly be antizionist you need to prioritize palestinian concerns and worries over israeli ones because of how.... unwilling much of the world is to even consider them.

approaching zionism from an idea of an inequality structure is also necessary — rather than assuming its a one off system, we examine it as a perpetuation of multiple types of systems of inequality embedded into one. i recommend the institute for the critical study of zionism (click) for more information on this. There's also this book by Ismail Zayid written in the 80's (click) about the longtime violence the ideology of zionism has done to multiple communities, not just palestinians.

Here's a great reading list by palipunk about different aspects of palestinian thought and culture (click). i suggest looking through them to help decolonize our way of thought.

i might add on to this later if i think of something else to say.

[maaarine]

A new global gender divide is emerging (John Burn-Murdoch, Financial Times, Jan 26 2024)

"In the US, Gallup data shows that after decades where the sexes were each spread roughly equally across liberal and conservative world views, women aged 18 to 30 are now 30 percentage points more liberal than their male contemporaries.

That gap took just six years to open up.

Germany also now shows a 30-point gap between increasingly conservative young men and progressive female contemporaries, and in the UK the gap is 25 points.

In Poland last year, almost half of men aged 18-21 backed the hard-right Confederation party, compared to just a sixth of young women of the same age.

Outside the west, there are even more stark divisions.

In South Korea there is now a yawning chasm between young men and women, and it’s a similar situation in China.

In Africa, Tunisia shows the same pattern.

Notably, in every country this dramatic split is either exclusive to the younger generation or far more pronounced there than among men and women in their thirties and upwards.

The #MeToo movement was the key trigger, giving rise to fiercely feminist values among young women who felt empowered to speak out against long-running injustices.

That spark found especially dry tinder in South Korea, where gender inequality remains stark, and outright misogyny is common.

In the country’s 2022 presidential election, while older men and women voted in lockstep, young men swung heavily behind the right-wing People Power party, and young women backed the liberal Democratic party in almost equal and opposite numbers.

Korea’s is an extreme situation, but it serves as a warning to other countries of what can happen when young men and women part ways.

Its society is riven in two. Its marriage rate has plummeted, and birth rate has fallen precipitously, dropping to 0.78 births per woman in 2022, the lowest of any country in the world. (…)

It would be easy to say this is all a phase that will pass, but the ideology gaps are only growing, and data shows that people’s formative political experiences are hard to shake off.

All of this is exacerbated by the fact that the proliferation of smartphones and social media mean that young men and women now increasingly inhabit separate spaces and experience separate cultures.

Too often young people’s views are overlooked owing to their low rates of political participation, but this shift could leave ripples for generations to come, impacting far more than vote counts."

#article #weaker sex

[redwlf843]

Attitude fixer

Ellie Williams x fem reader x Abby Anderson

Summary: you have quite the attitude and your girlfriends decide to fix your attitude for you.

Warnings: smut, smut, smut. Strap on, strap on referred to as cock, cunnilingus, fingering, mean dom Ellie, soft dom Abby, cursing.

-

You’ve had an attitude all day; you snipped at both Abby and Ellie, talked back, and was just an all around brat. Abby and Ellie decided that wasn’t going to fly, they were going to wipe that sour look off of your face.

That’s how you ended up where you are right now, Ellie fucking your throat with her strap and abby eating you out like a starving woman. You were already one orgasm in, cumming embarrassingly quickly when Abby sucked on your clit as Ellie twisted and pinched your nipples. You writhed as Abby’s tongue wreaking havoc on your sensitive clit. You couldn’t help the way your legs instinctively closed around Abby’s head. Her callused hands push your legs open

“Keep those fucking legs open.” Ellie demanded

Abby kept one hand on your knee and the other ran up your thigh until she had one finger in your tight hole. You moan around Ellie’s cock, and she groans at the sound.

Ellie fisted your hair tighter as she watched the way her cock made your throat bulge she reached down and touched the heated skin of your throat.

“Look at you taking my fucking cock so well” she praises as she moves her hand from your throat to your tits as she pinches and twists your already sore and sensitive nipples.

You whimper around the cock in your mouth which turns into a desperate moan when you feel Abby’s chuckle vibrate around your clit.

“What ever you’re doing she fucking loves it, made her clench around my fingers.” Abby tells Ellie before she goes back to flicking her tongue against your clit. Ellie pinches your nipple the exact same time Abby sucks on your clit. Your back arches and your hips jolt causing your legs to close.

Smack

You feel the sting against your cheek as ellie smacks your face

“What did I fucking tell you?” She growls out

“Keep those goddamn legs open or we’ll stop right now.” Ellie threatens

You try to apologize around her cock but all that comes out is a gag as her cock hits the back of your throat.

Abby looks up at Ellie and nods, Ellie pulls her cock out your mouth and Abby stands up. You whine and almost cry at the lost of contact. You’re about to start apologizing for not listening when

“On your knees. Now.” Abby commands and you’re quick to follow. You move so your knees and forearms are the only thing keeping you up.

You hear the draw and a lid snapping open tomorrow. You hear a squelch and you recognize the sound of a strap being coated in lube. You hear movement behind you and a hand rests on your back before it roughly pushes you against the bed so your upper body is flush against the sheets. A hand comes down hard on your ass surely leaving a red hand print, you yelp at the contact, you’re anticipating the next incoming spank but nothing happens. instead you feel a tongue lick from your cunt to your clit. Ellie spits on your cunt and rubs the mixture on slick and saliva up and down your slit. Your teeth sink into your bottom as moans threaten to spill out. You feel the bed dip next to you and you feel a hand grab your hair and pull it to make your gaze meet hers. You meet Abby’s darkened eyes.

“None of that pretty girl, we wanna hear those pretty little noises you make.” She tells you her voice dangerously soft.

“Wanna hear how good this cock feels” you hear Ellie rasp out from behind you

She rubs her cock heard trough your slit, rubbing it against your clit. She slowly pushes the tip in before pulling out, and teasing your dripping hole with the tip.

“I don’t know, maybe you don’t even deserve this.” She contemplates

“You were such a fucking bitch earlier” she growls out

“I’m sure she’s sorry, right pretty girl?” Abby questions as her thumb gently rubs your cheek, the same one Ellie slapped.

“Are you sorry?” Ellie asks

You nod

Smack

Her hand comes down hard on your ass giving you a matching hand print on each cheek.

“Can’t fucking hear you!” She barks out

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to be such a bitch” you cry out

“There you go that wasn’t so hard now was it Ellie asks gently rubbing your ass with both hands

“Hears the deal, you don’t get to cum until the both of cum in that pretty little cunt. You cum before we tell you can there will be punishments.” Ellie instructs

“Got it?” She asks you

“Yes”

“Good girl.”

Ellie gives you no warning as she thrusts her cock into you. Your yelp turns into a gasping moan as she instantly hits your sweet spot.

Abby kneeled on the bed by your head and watched as Ellie fucked you relentlessly, they both know she wasn’t going to last long. Her clit was already sensitive from the base of her strap on rubbing against it when she was fucking your throat.

Ellie gripped your hips, the only sound in the room was the squelch of your soaked cunt and her hips hitting your ass every time she thrusted.

You were in heaven and hell at the same time, because fuck it felt so good but you couldn’t give into that pleasure if you didn’t want to get punished.

“Oh fuck…” Ellie groans out

She watches the way your greedy cunt sucks her cock in, she can see your slick coating the strap a white ring starting to form at the the base. Ellie grips your hips harder as she fucks into you deeper. The tip of her cock kissing your cervix.

Her breathing got heavier as she felt the knot in the pit of her stomach tighten.

“Fucking take it, fucking take it…” Ellie trailed off as her body stiffened she moans as she cums.

Your muscles tense as you fend off your incoming orgasm, you hold your breath as you concentrate on not cumming.

You feel Ellie’s warm sweaty skin against your back as she caught her breath.

“Good fucking girl.” She rasps as she kisses your shoulder.

You slowly open your clenched eyes and Ellie pushes herself off of you and your cock slowly pulls out of you the silicone dragging against your inner walls make you shiver.

You only just now realize that Abby is no longer where she was kneeling next to you.

“You ruined her good els.” You hear Abby say from behind you

“Look at the way her cunt is weeping.” Abby rasps and you can feel her eyes on you.

You feel the way your slick drips out of you, coating your thighs. You feel one of them blow cold air on your overheated pussy and you whimper and try to close your legs.

“Nuhuh none of that princess.” Abby prevents your legs from closing

“Wanna see that pretty little pussy.” Abby tells you as she runs her fingers through your slit gathering your slick.

“You made quite the mess sweetheart.” Abby chastises as you mewl at the feeling of her fingers where you needed her most.

You feel the bed dip next to you

“Prop yourself up” Ellie tells you and you prop yourself on your forearms.

She situates herself in front of you. She’s still wearing the strap, the strap covered in your arousal.

“Why don’t you start cleaning up your mess.” Ellie says as she brings her strap to your lips.

You open your mouth for her

“Stick your tongue out.”

You do as you’re told and she slaps her strap against your tongue and you can’t help the moan that sneaks it’s way out at the taste of yourself on her strap.

You feel the tip of Abby’s cock slowly spread you open. She might be the more gentler of the two but she always chooses the toys that stretch you the most. Her strap is considerably girthier than Ellie’s but a little shorter. Either way both of their cocks made you see stars. Abby slowly slid in deeper and deeper a

Until she was flush against you. Your cunt stretched around her cock and you welcome the pleasurable sting that it brings. She slowly pulled out halfway before she slowly thrusted in. Her and Ellie worked in tandem, when Abby pulled out of your pussy, Ellie thrusted her cock into your mouth, and vice versa. They both worked at an agonizingly slow pace. Abby’s hand rubbed over your ass and lower back while Ellie had a fist in your hair, not pulling but just holding it.

They both slowly started to pick up the pace. You were ping ponged between them, both your cunt and mouth deliciously filled. You moaned around Ellie’s cock. You could barely make a coherent thought, you were cock drunk but who could blame you it just felt so fucking good. Grasped your hips as she picked up the pace, her cock hitting your sweet spot. Your body was on fire it so good you just wanted to cum, you could feel the knot tightening. You tried to hold it to prevent your incoming orgasm.

“Fuck she’s close fucking gripping my cock.” Abby grunts out

She pistons in and out of your poor battered pussy, fuck it was starting to get sensitive. You could feel tears stinging your eyes. You needed to cum so bad.

You looks up at Ellie silently begging.

She looks at Abby who nods at her.

“You can cum when we get to one” she tells you

“10” Abby started the count down with a grunt and a especially deep thrust

You cry out around Ellie’s cock

“9” Ellie continues as she grips your hair tightly as she thrusts her cock down your throat making you gag around it.

“8” Abby fucks your cunt quickly, the friction making your eyes roll back

“7” Ellie’s hand wraps around your throat not applying pressure simply just resting there feeling the way her cock makes your throat bulge. You shiver at the feeling of her deft fingers around your throat.

“6” Abby’s hand reaches around and pressed on your lower abdomen feeling the way her cock bulges your tummy. The addd pressure makes your body tense as you try to make it to one, you feel yourself teetering on the edge.

“5” Abby’s hand moves down to your clit and gently rubs it with her middle and ring finger.

“4” she adds more pressure to your clit

Your moans are getting louder and louder, Ellie’s cock muffling most of the noise.

“3” Abby’s fingers circle your clit quicker and her can barely thrust in and out of your pussy with how tight it’s clenched around her cock.

The pressure builds and builds

“2” Ellie’s and tightens around your throat

“1.” Abby vigorously rubs your clit and you’re flung over the bridge. Your ears ring and your vision goes white as the dam breaks. You cum with a scream squirting all over Abby’s cock. Your body burns with white hot pleasure and You can vaguely hear Abby and Ellie moaning through the ringing in your ears.

You feel them slowly pull out of you. Abbys cock covered in cum while Ellie’s is covered in spit. You feel strong arms pick your sensitive body up and you whimper.

“Shh it’s ok baby I’m just moving you.” Abby tells you gently before you placed on the bed again this time laying on your back with you head on your pillow. Your body is exhausted you’re exhausted, you jump and whine when you feel a warm towel against your cunt and thighs

“ ‘s alright pretty girl just cleaning you up.” Ellie says as she wipes away the cum and slick from your thighs.

You hear them moving around the room, you don’t have the energy to even open your eyes. You feel the bed dip on both sides of you, Abby’s behind you and Ellie in front of you. Ellie pulls you to her so your head in laying on her chest and Abby is flush against your back her arm around your waist.

“You doing okay?” Abby asks with a kiss to your shoulder

“Hmmm ‘m doing great” you slur out ready to succumb to exhaustion

“Do you feel better?” Ellie asks with a kiss to your head

“Yeah I do, thank you.” You tell them both kissing Ellie’s collar bone and giving Abby’s arm a squeeze.

You quickly fall asleep in a much better mood sandwiched between your two favorite people in the world.

#ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams smut #Abby Anderson #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson smut #Ellabs #ellabs x reader

[sturniolo-simp4life]

Tease- Matt Sturniolo 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Paring- Matt Sturniolo and Y/n 

Description- y/n teases Matt all day until he decides to do something about it. 

Warnings- Teasing, Dom! Matt, orgasm denial, p in v, cursing, smut, fingering. 

NOT PROOF READ! 

Today was one of those days when you just felt bored as hell. You were sitting next to your boyfriend Matt, who’s gaze was currently on the movie playing in front of you. 

You were scrolling on your TikTok, until you came across a video.

It was one of those “got my nails done” TikTok's, where the girl was showing her nails on her boyfriend's sweatpants. Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. 

“Hey Matt, there’s this TikTok I’ve been wanting to film with you.” He looked at you. “Yeah, sure babe,” he said a little confused. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_  

Matt could feel his cock twitch with every move the back of your hand made against him.

And of course, he just had to wear grey sweatpants. He could feel his breathing increasing, he wished he could just flip you over fuck you senseless. 

You, on the other hand, were enjoying this. You could see him holding back, his face red, the bulge in his pants.

You smirked with satisfaction as you finished the video. “Thanks babe,” you said as you kissed his cheek. Then you walked off. 

Matt groaned with frustration as he went to the bathroom, to take care of his “problem.” 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ 

Later, you decided to clean up the kitchen, but with a twist. Matt was sitting at the island table, watching you wash dishes.

Here’s the thing: You were only in a T-shirt, and you weren’t wearing anything under it except for your white lace panties, which were Matt’s favorite. 

Once you were done with the dishes, you grabbed the broom and started sweeping the floor. You moved yourself and the gunk right into Matt’s view.

Once you collected all the dirt and dust, you bent yourself down to sweep all the stuff. 

Matt’s eyes widened as he saw you. Your ass was on display, and you were wearing his favorite lace panties. He knew you had to be doing this on purpose.

He felt his dick stiffen as he kept watching you. He slowly started palming himself, earning a small groan. 

“Matt? Are you okay?” He slowly opened his eyes to see you staring back at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”  

You gave him an innocent look, and then went ahead to put the dishes away.

When you opened the cupboard, you stood on your tiptoes to put the plates away, making your T-shirt rise. Once again, your ass was on display. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Matt mumbled as he got up. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ 

“Matt there’s popsicles!” you yelled from the kitchen. He was in the living room watching a movie. “Do you want one?” You heard the TV stop playing, and footsteps coming towards the kitchen. 

“Sure babe.” He grabbed one from the box and opened it. You did the same. You sat across from him and opened yours.

At first, you swirled your tongue around the top of the popsicle, then you put the whole thing into your mouth, sucking it in up and down motions. 

You were looking directly into his eyes while you did this. 

Matt was going crazy. This was the third time today that you had teased him. And he couldn’t take it anymore. “Damn it y/n.” 

He took the popsicle out of your hand and threw it away, then he picked you up and threw you over his shoulders. He stormed up to his room and slammed the door shut. 

He threw you on the bed, and practically ripped your panties off. Your thighs were drenched with your juices. “Such a slut,” he mumbled. “Look at you, so wet.”

He then pinned you to the bed and whispered in your ear. “You're going to be punished for what you did to me. Teasing me and then acting like nothing happened?”  

He kissed you roughly and left marks on your neck, making you moan. “F-Fuck Matt. I need you.”  

Matt smirked in satisfaction. “Arms up,” he commanded. You lifted your arms, and he removed your tank top, revealing your hardened nipples.

He took one into his mouth, while one of his hands made it to the other.  

You moaned, enjoying the feeling of Matt sucking and nibbling your sensitive breast. “Mmm- fuck- s'good,” you moaned. 

Matt detached himself, and slid 2 fingers into you, causing you to let out a whimper. “M-Matt.” He started to pump his fingers in and out of you, making you tremble with pleasure.

“Fuck- more, please, more.” He suddenly curled his fingers, hitting a spot, that made stars burst into your vision. 

He repeatedly hit that spot, over and over, making your body tremble more.

You let another loud moan as you clenched around his fingers. “You like it when I hit you there, hmm?” Matt whispered into your ear.  

You nodded your head. “I want you to answer me Princess.” Tears brimmed in your eyes as you felt yourself get closer and closer.

“Fuck Matt. Yes! I l-like it! Mmm- right there!” You felt the knot in your stomach getting close to breaking. 

“Mmm- Fuck I’m gonna cum-” Matt suddenly removed his fingers, your high immediately going back low. “W-what?” 

Matt smirked at you as he removed his sweatpants. “You're not going to cum just yet.”

He pulled his boxers down, revealing his hard length. You could see the veins pulsing, and the flushed tip already leaking pre-cum. 

You felt yourself getting wetter at the thought of him pounding his cock into your pussy. 

He stroked himself a few times, then aligned himself with your aching hole, slowly pushing forward.

You let out a whimper, and he let out a groan, as he kept pushing himself in, until the both of you were connected. 

“Fuck, such a tight little pussy,” he groaned. He then slowly started thrusting himself in and out of you, until he found a good, quick pace. “Fuck fuck fuck,” you moaned, arching your back. 

He somehow pushed your body to the side, allowing his cock to reach deeper inside you.

He repeatedly hit your g-spot, fucking you dumb. “Oh my god, Matt, right there.” You let out more breathy, frequent moans as you felt your high returning. 

“Mmm- Matt, I’m gonna- shit- I-I'm gonna cum,” you moaned, the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach returning.

He grunted then said, “You're not going to cum until I say so.” Your eyes shot open. “Consider it as a punishment.” 

“You’ll be able to cum if you beg like a good girl.” You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten, begging to be undone.

“Fuck Matt, please please, let me cum.” You could feel tears slipping down your cheeks. “Matt, please.”  

“Cum,” He commanded. You instantly let yourself release all over his cock, a long moan following. After a few more thrusts, Matt also followed you.  

He pulled out, collapsing right next to you, his breathing heavy. “Fuck. Are you alright baby?” he asked, planting a kiss on your forehead. You nodded, breathless. “Yeah, I'm fine.” 

He let out a low chuckle. “Next time, try not to tease me so much.” 

#sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x you

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

#obx #outerbanks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron oneshots #rafe obx #rafe cameron thirst