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all of the hamilton children for @thereallvrb0y

this post is my personal FUCK YOU to alexander hamilton for having so many kids. fucking whore. not eliza though, she's a miracle.

also apparently these historical figures are too obscure for my regular secondary sources, so i had to use peoplepill.com for like all of these, besides like. two. also @yr-obedt-cicero 's posts have helped so much i cannot thank you enough bestie

okay here we go

Philip Sr.

Philip Hamilton (the First) was born January 22, 1782 in Albany, New York. He was sent to Trenton Boarding School at nine, and later joined Colombia College. He went on to study law. Robert Troup described Philip as "a sad rake and I have serious doubts whether he would ever be an honour to his family or his country," which is tough talk for a guy who was gay for his dad. Other than this, people described him as having a lot of potential.

Apparently, he was one of Hamilton's favorites, if not the favorite. As the eldest, he was responsible for carrying on the family name, and was therefore the most "valuable". Hamilton was heavily strict on him, possibly because Philip had rebellious tendencies, but he was nevertheless a good student. I also wanted to include these two letters, this one from Alexander to Philip and this one from their dad to both Philip and Alexander Jr.

In 1797, Philip became deathly ill, but was cured by David Hosack.

After the whole political clusterfuck that was the year 1800, George Eacker decided that Alexander Hamilton was a piece of shit, and he was right, but Philip got pissed and called him a bitch, basically. Eacker insulted Philip and his friend in return and Philip challenged him to a duel because men never learn. Philip was fatally wounded in the duel, an Lin-Manuel Miranda decided to take this personally.

Alexander was so distraught by Philip's death that he had to be held up by two men at his funeral. He became much more religious after his death, and it's really the only part of his life that I think he genuinely believed in god.

Philip was buried in Trinity Church Cemetery with his parents.

Angelica <3

@yr-obedt-cicero made an amazing post on Angelica, which goes much more in detail than I will, as to not be redundant. thank you again <333

Angelica was born on September 25, 1784 in New York City. She was described as sensitive, lively, and fond of music and dance.

She studied French and practiced the harpsichord, which she was gifted by her aunt, Angelica Church. Her and her father would sing together as she played the harpsichord. They were very close and ow.

After her older brother's death, she entered a very poor mental state, described as "eternal childhood" and she couldn't recognize family members (this symptom could have just been after Hamilton's death, but sources vary), also speaking of Philip as if he was still alive. Her family dedicated a lot of time to her health, but her condition worsened, and she spent the rest of her life under the care of Dr. MacDonald.

She died on February 6, 1857 at the age of 72. She was buried at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Tarrytown, New York.

Alexander Jr.

Alexander Jr. (who I am going to call AJ bc it's easier and I think it's cute) was born on May 16, 1786. He attended a boarding school in Trenton at 8, then joined Philip studying with William Frazer.

Like his brother, he later attended Columbia College, and graduated in 1804, several weeks after his father's fatal duel. Sources also vary on this, with the St. Andrew's Society of New York (which AJ belonged to) he "did not graduate on account of an accident" so idk. Either way, he started to study law not long after.

He was invited to be an apprentice attorney in Stephen Higginson's Boston law firm, then was admitted to practice law.

He sailed to Spain in 1811 or 1812. He joined the Duke of Wellington's forces fighting Napoleon in Portugal. He returned to America to serve in the War of 1812. He was commissioned as Captain of the 41st Regiment of Infantry in the United States Army in August 1813, though doesn't appear to have seen active service. He went on to serve as an aide-de-camp to General Morgan Lewis in 1812 until June 15, 1815.

He resumed his law practice after his military career ended, and married Eliza P. Knox in 1817. He took office in July 1818 as a member of the 42nd New York State legislature for a one-year term.

In May 1822, James Monroe appointed AJ as United States Attorney for East Florida. As someone who lives in the East Florida parishes, I'm shitting my pants, we never get mentioned in history besides that one time. In 1823, he was appointed to be one of the three Land Commissioners for East Florida, and received the military rank of Colonel.

AJ ran unsuccessfully against Richard K. Call to be the Florida Territory's delegate in the House of Representatives. He returned to New York where he became successful in real estate, and was one of the leading names in Wall Street.

In the mid-1830s, Alexander Hamilton Jr. represented Eliza Jumel against Aaron Burr during their divorce proceedings, which were finalized in 1836 on the day of Burr's death. *copy and paste joke here*

In 1833, AJ used funds from his mother's sale of The Grange to buy the townhouse on St. Mark's Place, where he lived between 1833 and 1842 with his wife, mother, sister and brother-in-law.

He um. Met Abraham Lincoln???? in 1835 when he was on a trip to the west. Lincoln was an Illinois legislator and was apparently just in a grocery story "lying upon the counter in midday telling stories." ... GET HIM OFF THE COUNTER???? GET HIM OUT THE GROCERY STORE???????

Anyway... After the death of his wife, AJ moved to New Brunswick, New Jersey then to New York City. He died on August 2, 1875 at 83 Clinton Place, in Greenwich Village.

James Alexander (my detested)

Bitchbaby was born on April 14, 1788 and graduated from Colombia in 1805. He studied law with Nathaniel Pendleton (and the doctor that he knew).

Shithead was admitted to the bar in 1809 and practiced in Saratoga and Hudson. He married Mary Morris on October 17, 1810. And yes that is Morris as in Gouverneur Morris. They had five children, three of whom died before their father.

Apparently, he lived in extreme poverty in the early years of his legal practice.

"I now look back upon this event as not only the happiness, but the most fortunate occurrence of my long and eventful life. My poverty, with its burdens and responsibilities, nerved me to exertion, and necessity taught me the value of economy and self-denial." -James Alexander in his Reminisces.

He served in the War of 1812 as a brigade-major and inspector of the New York Militia, and relocated to New York City by June 1815.

He built a home in 1828 called Nevis because he's unoriginal. He also kept a portrait of George Washington by Gilbert Stuart, which was originally painted for his father in 1798, in his home.

"The Hamilton mansion was famous in New-York society 40 years ago, and has been the scene of many a distinguished gathering" -New York Times obituary, 1878

Okay, now its time for his love affair (/nsrs) with Andrew Jackson.

Fuckhead joined Jackson's ~entourage~ in Nashville and traveled to New Orleans in December 1827. He served on Jackson's "Appointing Council" after the 1828 election. He agreed to serve as Acting Secretary of State until Martin Van Buren assumed the post (March 4-April 4, 1829). He helped Jackson draft his Inaugural Address.

Slimeball was nominated by Jackson on April 23, 1829 as District Attorney for the Southern District of New York. Jackson told Shitpants he had wanted him "to always be at my command" and when Smartfeller returned to Washington, "I want you to be near me." This was, in historical terms, sussy.

He served as a confidante to Jackson while serving in this position, working on national and international matters, which wasn't in the job description. His 1869 (ha) memoirs is mostly his correspondence, including the discussions of the National Bank (._.) and the Nullification Crisis of 1832 (basically South Carolina disagreed with the government again and did too much).

As Pisspants was leaving for New York, Jackson told him to "Make as much money as you can" and he did by continuing his private practice AND serving as District Attorney, in true Hamilton fashion. He and his younger brother Philip were both involved in the trial of Charles Gibbs. Hamilton left in 1834 to return to his private practice, and now we don't need to talk about Shitty Diaper Andrew Jackson anymore.

He uh. Won the first America's Cup (previously the Royal Yacht Squadron Cup) in 1851. So that's. fun. Queen Victoria also congratulated him on winning so. I guess the Hamilton's just know everyone.

James and AJ served as vestrymen of the Zion Protestant Episcopal Church from 1843 to 1853, and got a little plaque in 1953 and all the years end in 3's. Both were members of the Board of Directors of the Association for the Exhibition of the Industry of All Nations - the Crystal Palace Exhibition in 1853 and that name gives me indigestion.

On March 6, 1862, James chaired and addressed a meeting at Cooper Union in favor of emancipation. And met fucking. Abraham. Lincoln. Lincoln also asked him to draft a proclamation, and when he returned, he had already issued the Emancipation Proclamation. So sux 2 suc.

James published his memoirs in 1868, which end in 1866, including his trips to Europe, the 1848 revolutions and the Civil War. He stated his intent to "do justice" to his father, and published several pamphlets defending him. (The Public Debt and the Public Credit of the United States and Martin Van Buren's Calumnies Repudiated: Hamilton's Conduct as Secretary of the Treasury Vindicated)

James Alexander died on September 24, 1878 at 90, and was buried at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, Tarrytown, New York. His home was remodeled in 1889 by Stanford White. In 1934, it was donated to Columbia University where it now serves as one of the largest arboretums in the country.

JOHN CHURCH

Johnny C was born on August 22, 1792. He wrote a lot about his dad, and here’s one thing he wrote about the duel which literally stabs my heart out of my chest and rips it apart.

“I recall a single incident about it with full clearness... The day before the duel I was sitting in a room, when, at a slight noise, I turned around and saw my father in the doorway, standing silently there and looking at me with a most sweet and beautiful expression of countenance. It was full of tenderness, and without any of the business pre-occupation he sometimes had. ‘John,’ he said, when I had discovered him. ‘won’t you come and sleep with me to-night?’ His voice was frank as if he had been my brother instead of my father. That night I went to his bed, and in the morning very early he awakened me, and taking my hands in his palms all four hand extended, he said and told me to repeat the Lord’s Prayer. Seventy-five years have since passed over my head, and I have forgotten many things, but not that tender expression when he stood looking at me in the door nor the prayer we made together the morning before the duel. I do not so well recollect seeing him lie upon his deathbed, though I was there.”

In 1809, JC graduated from Colombia University and then studied law. He began serving in the army during the War of 1812, eventually becoming second lieutenant. He served as an aide-de-camp to Major General William Henry Harrison. However, he retired without seeing battle in June 1814.

According to his obituary, “He did not apply himself to the practice of law... having strong literary tastes, [Johnny C.] devoted himself to the study of history, with a view to writing his father’s life.”

Between 1834 and 1840, he went through his father’s letters and papers, and wrote a two-volume biography called The Life of Alexander Hamilton which was published in 1840-1841. Unfortunately, nearly all the copies were destroyed in a fire during the process of binding.

He edited his father’s collected writings under the authority of the Joint Library Committee of the United States Congress and took out the gay porn, publishing The Works of Alexander Hamilton: Containing his Correspondence, and His Political and Official Writings, Exclusive of the Federalist, Civil and Military in 1850-1851. He also wrote a seven volume biography, published between 1857 and 1869 called Life of Alexander Hamilton: A History of the Republic of the United States of America. This combined a biography of Hamilton and a history of the US “as traced in his writings and in those of his contemporaries”. He worked closely with his mother in the preservation of this history, and she encouraged him to write the comprehensive biography.

Also in 1869, he published an edition of The Federalist with historical notes and commentary, and I want it.

JC was a member of the Whig Party, later Republican, but never held office. He lost a run for Congress to represent part of NYC. Also, both Ulysses S. Grant and Chester A. Arthur asked him for his opinions on economics so that’s pretty rad.

In 1880, he presented a statue of Alexander Hamilton to the city “though preferring it were the act of others”. On November 22, 1880, at the unveiling in Central Park near the Metropolitan Museum of Art, he said that after a century of the nation’s existence, time had shown “the utility of [AH’s] public services and the lessons of polity” and that he trusted “that this memorial may aid in their being recalled and usefully appreciated.”

Throughout his life, John Church married Maria Eliza van den Heuvel, and together they had FOURTEEN CHILDREN. so here’s a list of their kids that I didn’t write lol.

General Alexander Hamilton (1815–1907), a major general in the Civil War, author of Dramas and Poems (1887).

Maria Williamson Hamilton (1817-1822), who died young

Charlotte Augusta Hamilton (1819–1896)

John Cornelius Adrian Hamilton (1820–1879)

Schuyler Hamilton (1822–1903), who served in the Mexican War

James Hamilton (1824-1825), who died young

Maria Eliza Hamilton (1825–1887), who married Judge Charles A. Peabody (1814–1901)

Charles Apthorp Hamilton (July 23, 1826 – November 29, 1901), was educated in New York, England, and Germany. After clerking for a New York law firm, he practiced law in Wisconsin. He enlisted in the Wisconsin Volunteer Infantry at the start of the Civil War in 1861, reaching the rank of lieutenant colonel. A severe battle injury to both legs compelled his resignation in March 1863, and he returned to practicing law. In 1881, he was elected judge of the circuit court for Milwaukee.

Robert P. Hamilton (1828–1891)

Adelaide Hamilton (1830–1915)

Elizabeth Hamilton (1831–1884), who first married Henry Wager Halleck in 1855 and after his death, married George Washington Cullum in 1875.

William Gaston Hamilton (1832–1913), a consulting engineer of the Pennsylvania Railroad Company

Laurens Hamilton (1834 – July 6, 1858), an 1854 graduate of Columbia College, who died at the age of 23. He had served for one year as a private in the Seventh Regiment of New York, and drowned accidentally while serving as part of a military escort aboard a ship returning the remains of President James Monroe to Richmond, Virginia.

Alice Hamilton (September 11, 1838 – September 15, 1905)

Shout out to Laurens Hamilton for accidentally drowning, really taking after his grandfather.

John Church died on July 24, 1882 at 89 Stockton Cottage, on Ocean Avenue in Long Branch, New Jersey due to jaundice and catarrh. His funeral was held at Trinity Church.

William Stephen Hamilton

For the sake of my own entertainment, I will be calling this man Stinky bc he probably smells like my dad (shout out to my dad for having the worst genetics). So Stinky was born on August 4, 1797. He entered the United States Military Academy in 1814, then resigned in 1817.

He moved to Illinois, living in Sangamon, Springfield and Peoria, then in 1827, moved to the lead mining region around the Fever River.

He was elected to the Illinois House of Representatives from Sangamon County in 1824. He sponsored a bill that imposed a statewide tax intended to fund road repair and maintenance, proportional to property value, to be paid in labor or money. The bill passed, but was met with opposition, and was repealed in the next legislature.

Stinky served as an aide-de-camp to Governor Edward Coles, and worked for the General Land Office as Deputy Surveyor of Public Lands. He was also an incorporator of the original Illinois and Michigan Canal Company.

In 1827, he served during the Winnebago War in the Illinois Militia as a captain. He commanded the Galena Mounted Volunteers under the command of Henry Dodge.

After the Winnebago War, he moved to the Wisconsin Territory and established Hamilton’s Diggings, later Wiota in 1827. It was later turned into a fort during the Black Hawk War, entitled Fort Hamilton. Juliette Kinzie described the conditions in 1831 as “shabby” and “unpromising.” She also described the foul language used by the miners, the “roughest-looking set of men i ever beheld.” Theodore Rodolf contrasted the settlement’s rough exterior with small, finer details in 1834. He particularly liked the fact that Stinky had the writings of Voltaire at Hamilton’s Diggings.

Elizabeth Hamilton visited her son at Hamilton’s Diggings during the winter of 1837-38. During this time, Stinky also owned the Mineral Point Miner’s Free Press, before he sold it to a group from Galena, and it became the Galena Democrat.

Stinky volunteered in the militia again during the 1832 Black Hawk War. He was often in charge of the militia’s indigenous allies, including many Sioux and Menominee. He was sent to the Michigan Territory to recruit more indigenous allies, leaving successfully with several more parties.

In 1842 and 43, Stinky served as an elected member of the Wisconsin Territorial Assembly, from Iowa County. He lost an 1843 election for Wisconsin Territory delegate to the US Congress. In 1848, he lost another election for the Wisconsin Constitutional Convention. He was generally unable to achieve political fame.

Gold was discovered in California in 1848, and Stinky was there by 49. However, this would prove a disappointment and he later regretted the move. He told a friend he would “rather have been hung in the ‘Lead Mines’ than to have lived in this miserable hole.” This seems to be an accurate description of California.

Stinky never married and presented a rough, garish appearance. Which, good. Fuck beauty standards.

Stinky was ill with dysentery and “mountain fever”, which was likely cholera, for two weeks before he died from “malarial fever resulting in spinal exhaustion terminating in paralysis superinduced by great bodily and mental strain.” He died in Sacramento, California on October 9, 1850 at 53, and was buried in Sacramento Historic City Cemetery, in a section named Hamilton Square. RIP Stinky, the real MVP.

Eliza Holly!

Eliza was born on November 20, 1799. You can tell her apart from her mother because Eliza is her full name, and Elizabeth is her mother’s. She was a sick infant, and Alexander frequently worried about her. He was staying with the children without Elizabeth once, and he wrote, “Eliza pouts and plays, and displays more and more her ample stock of Caprice.” Eliza did not attend Hamilton’s funeral, but saw him with the rest of the kids on his deathbed.

She married Sidney Augustus Holly on July 19, 1825. He was a merchant from a prominent family in business and local government. They lived at The Grange (not James Alexander’s), and remained close with Elizabeth for her entire life, who described Eliza as being like her father.

“You don’t know how important you are to me. You step in the steps of your father’s kindness, and the more you are with me, the more I see that you are like him.” -Elizabeth Hamilton to Eliza Holly

She moved in with Elizabeth in East Village, Manhattan at 4 St. Mark’s Place along with AJ and his wife.

Her husband died on June 26, 1842 and moved in with her mother to 63 Prince Street in Lower Manhattan. This was previously the house of jAmES mONrOe and Samuel L. Gouverneur. She and her mother also moved together to Washington D.C. where they lived near the White House on H street and entertained many guests. Eliza continued to care for her mother until her death in 1854.

Eliza potentially influenced or expedited the creation of John Church’s biography of their father, and chastised him for his overdue writing.

Eliza died in Washington D.C. on October 17, 1859, and was buried in Westchester County, New York, at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery with Angelica and later James Alexander.

Philip Hamilton (the Second) “Little Phil”

Little Phil was born in New York on June 1 or 2 in 1802. According to his son, Phil “manifested much of his father’s sweetness and happy disposition, and was always notably considerate of the feelings of others, and was punctilious to a fault in his obligations.” He was also almost six feet tall. Idk how.

Because of the poverty that afflicted his family after his father’s death, Phil “was denied those advantages accorded to his elder brothers, and had, in every sense, to make his own way.”

Phil practiced law in New York, and served as an assistant United States Attorney during the 1830s under James Alexander. He achieved notable success as a prosecutor in the case of pirate Charles Gibbs.

Phil moved to San Francisco during the Gold Rush in 1851 to practice law as a partner of his brother-in-law Robert Milligan McLane. He returned to New York after one or two years.

He assisted the Underground Railroad in helping enslaved people escape at least once by concealing them in his cellar until they could resume their travel to Canada.

At the end of the Civil War, Hamilton served as Judge Advocate of the naval Retiring Board at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, and “led a quiet life” after 1865. He characterized his career as a “hard, up-hill professional life” working with a “very great” number of the poor and most of his time was “given up to unselfish acts”.

He married Rebecca McLane, who died on April 1, 1893, and they had two sons together, Louis McLane Hamilton (1844-1868) and Allan McLane Hamilton FRSE (1848-1919).

Louis served in the US Army during the Civil War. He enlisted as a private in the 22nd New York Militia in June 1862, then the 3rd US Infantry as second lieutenant in September 1863. He served with the Army of the Potomac, and was brevetted twice fer gallantry, including the Battle of Gettysburg. In July 1866, he became a Captain in the 7th US Cavalry. On November 27, 1868, he was killed in the Battle of Washita River, being posthumously brevetted to the rank of Major.

Allan was a psychiatrist and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Edinburgh. His books included a biography of his grandfather, The Intimate Life of Alexander Hamilton.

Little Phil died “comparatively poor” on July 9, 1884 in Poughkeepsie, New York.

@thereallvrb0y-deactivated42069

And that is all the Hamilton kids. This post put me through the five stages of grief. I’ll include my sources now, and sob my eyes out bc existence is pain. I hope you enjoyed, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask!! i’m doing my best to get content out so I will try not to take multiple months to post again HSKSKFHLS love you all <333 (f in the chat for stinky)

https://peoplepill.com/people/alexander-hamilton-10

https://networthheightsalary.com/angelica-hamilton-bio-facts-about-elizabeth-schuyler-hamilton-s-daughter/

https://archive.org/details/reminiscencesofj00lchami

https://www.mountvernon.org/library/digitalhistory/digital-encyclopedia/article/james-alexander-hamilton-1788-1878/