#ah and

[shatterthefragments]

Tattoo day 💖

(A tale of hope, wonder, happiness, and the existential horror(?) of having ink beneath one’s skin, though vastly overshadowed by the elation in having such beautiful pieces of art adorning my body.)

(Hitting post!!! As always: Feel free to reply and chat etc etc I am DELIGHTED!!)

So it was a weird day because I left later than I had initially wanted to.

My plan of wanting to go relax in my favourite gardens beforehand was a bit foiled by the need to sleep (I went to an event the evening before and despite trying to get my laundry done and my bag packed uhhh it was still midnight before I sort of made it to bed so I decided to take a later trip instead)

But I passed by my favourite island on the way and the weather was absolutely beautiful!!!

The sparkles on the ocean are like?!? Maybe all is good in the world if it can sparkle like this? 💖✨

My note from the ride is:

The world glitters

(I am by the ocean on a sunny day)

But it’s ok that I didn’t get my garden time. I still managed to get a monthly special croissant from a bakery I really like to stick in my bag before getting sushi across the street from the tattoo shop and then heading over 💖

I uh. Should’ve eaten more earlier in the day but oh well. My artist told me to take Advil before to reduce swelling so I did (and my friend said I didn’t bleed very much at all which was nice esp bc I had mixed advice on the Advil beforehand) but I also took Tylenol bc I had a headache (it’s. been a fairly bad pain week in both head and body honestly so I’m just happy that my hips and legs were ok to walk bc there isn’t really another option in the city unless I want to pay ridiculous amounts of money AND still have to walk)

(I did accidentally kick a syringe while walking to the bus but there was no needle and I wear closed toe shoes and I am still alive so I’m assuming I’m ok tbh. Even though I was kinda trying to watch where I’m going I’m maybe just. Not *that* city savvy)

One of my absolute best friends who lives sort of in the area joined me for the whole thing 🥰💖

She approved the Vibes of the shop (and truly it was so nice to have her there as support) (also all three of us being not neurotypical was very nice as well) though was quite worried about the amount of shading that was on the art piece I got 😬 but bc it wasn’t a HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU THINKING moment she held off until after so I didn’t get scared of that 🫂

We did the text piece first and a few parts of the outline hurt a bit more than I was expecting based on the “small little line” that my Artist started each section out with first (which was very kind of them bc I had no idea what to expect) but strangely enough the filling in of the text outline was perfectly fine.

And then for my arm piece I chose to lay on my stomach (maybe I should’ve had a pillow or something to lay on as well?) bc it’s WAY more comfy for me than to lay on my side as was suggested but I just was not comfortable 😬 though my left arm kinda kept falling asleep a bit so I had to readjust sometimes to have it not fall asleep.

The shading. Uh. Definitely was “ok this is fine oh Ouch” each pass but it was ok. I’m most comfortable on my stomach and until it was like getting a bit bad and I wanted to talk as a distraction I was actually kinda thinking that maybe I could fall asleep?

Unfortunately there was a very sudden wave of nausea when we were almost done this one and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. It’s ok. But swallowing back down the acid definitely fucked up my throat through the next day.

So I had a break and slowly sipped on the juice box I brought and held hands with my friend (“you’re almost there and not the fake almost there like you’re actually nearly done”) and then we continued in a seated position instead (which. Is fine for the amount that was left but I am very glad that I didn’t have to sit like that for longer than that did.) (anybody that can’t sit normal Knows) (I asked if there was anything I could put my feet on and luckily there was a stool so I could sit more comfortably.)

Then after we went to the pharmacy for aquaphor and a sugary snack for me (I got a chocolate bar)

She had to go back to work but we got to take the bus most of the way together before I switched to the next part of the trip to my aunt’s where I stayed for the night.

And then I got to hang out with my sister and have a bit of a lazy morning (kinda avoiding going home tbh) which was super nice! Coffee and a little breakfast snack before going to get bao (we got a few different kinds - I liked the red bean one best :)) and eating them in the complex’s yard- shifting our position in the yard as the sun moved (I was initially going to be in the shade but it was cold and wet and I Specifically wore a long sleeve for sun protection to protect the new tattoos (I don’t burn easily but that’s not the point). And then the bubble tea place nearby opened so we got bubble tea :) and shared a waffle but I didn’t really want very much I just wanted to try it but then I was hungry by the time I got to the second part of my trip back home which is fine I got food then.

And then I did have to leave to go home if I didn’t want to be too late.

Gosh I always end up sweating when I go up and down one of the big ramps in a glass enclosure so even though I tried to really take it easy to avoid sweating I fear I may have a bit. But I think it should be okay? (I feel like I’m doing okay now a week later)

I made it home around 7 or so? And then had to like. Talk to mum for an hour or so while I was just trying to eat so I could take another Advil before bed which. Is fine. But I was tired all weekend and still am tired (esp given I now have Flesh Wounds to heal which makes me extra eepy) (it makes me smile to say eepy instead rn so I’m gonna)

Every time I look at my arm I smile I’m so happy 💖🥰

And every time since that I think I don’t love myself I just. NO. I love myself so much that I started to adorn myself with art to carry with me at all times.

I love myself so much that I faced my phobia of needles (though it IS much easier when not faced with them individually) in order to get one of the things I’ve wanted inked into me for a long time and another that I was just fully captivated by when I saw that design available (and STILL available when I decided to go for it which I’m super happy about 🥰)

I’m so glad that I did go for it.

I’m so glad I didn’t get caught up in any bullshit of “oh when I lose weight” even though I’ve been about the same size for years. Or get caught up too much in what other people will think of me.

I’m so thankful I was able to get these tattoos 🥰💖

And now I just hope that I’m able to heal well 🥰💖

And all that said. It just feels *right*.

When I look down at my forearm and see one of the things I’ve envisioned there for a long time. When I look in the mirror and see black ink against my skin it feels more like I’m at home in my body. 🥰🥹

It feels right

(Well. Right now it feels itchy. But it feels right 🥰)

it’s FLAKY but ah well.

(As a side note if we’ve talked here I am most likely willing to send you pictures privately)

#shatters’ tattoos #it’s largely a very happy story imo #but also #mentions #tw #needles #food #emetophobia #things that make me happy #making a home for myself in the body I inhabit #adorning my vessel so it carries me more happily #a very cropped picture bc I’m not posting anything publicly #ah and #body image #I talked to my artist about expanding the upper one one day and they’re down so I’m super excited to do that one day :) #like all the of mentions are truly that - just mentions #Give Way For Happiness #it definitely didn’t hurt in the way I was craving but that’s probably a good thing #and it’s also not so bad that I’m not going to hope to be able to go down my list of tattoos I want soooo I am HOPEFUL

[ftcatv]

ok not perfect at all but

i. had. fun

#oc: lily moriarty #fo4 #fallout 4 oc #lol angst #OOOO don't fuck with her #one day i'll translate this shit properly #but first i have a damn part 2 to write #SHES DONE BEING NICE #me still figuring out so much SHIT #BUT IM HAVING FUN #just in case i actually translate it: #when we only look at the stars #ah and #ftcat ftcating

[fungal-wasted]

OK yeah I'm in the language mood so now I'm gonna talk about the mantis tribe a little.

So the thing is that the mantis tribe, contrary to the spiders, is way more focused on the visual communication. The gist is that they have both signed and spoken language, and both tend to be used together. Both have the same structure order, though sign language tends to be more expressive and is sometimes preferred over spoken words, partly because it is more consistent, and partly because you have to look at the person as they speak, making it more serious.

Most of their population can navigate both languages without trouble, and whether they use one or another sometimes depends on context or whether the other person can see/hear them. You need to give instructions to people from a far distance, you sign. The person is within hearing range? You speak. Some people only sign or speak for different reasons like preference, disability, or whatever and it's just normal. They're flexible about the mode one communicates in. Just get the message across.

What they're not so flexible about is how to address people, and that seems to be the most noticeable thing about their language. They have words that serve either as like "titles" that go before a name or replace it altogether like pronouns. These words not only reflect who is being alluded to, but also the relative position they have with the speaker. The word has a suffix that depends on the person's name and makes it clearer who is being alluded to. In sign, these "words" are reflected by their overall position when signing.

Basically I was just like, "Man I hate how English has no nuance about the word "you" what if I incorporate a headcanon about it onto someone?" And here we are.

Their written language, reluctantly, has the same graphemes than the language Hallownest has. The truth is that both of their languages could be traced back to the same origin way back in time, before their tribe settled into the Wastes and way before Hallownest became a thing, but it's been lost in time and to be honest I feel like mantises would make any effort to sound as incomprehensible to outsiders, maybe out of spite, maybe wanting to emphasize how little they want to have to do with Hallownest. They tend to write in tablets either made from clay, stone, or shellwood (tho that's rare because it's a limited resource).

#OK i am done #language #headcanon #worldbuilding #mantis tribe #mantisposting #look considering i have like two wips dealing with this tribe in some way I have these ideas fresh #i may or may not have a chart with the specific of how the hierarchy words work #AH and #hallownest has a language but it is Not called hallownestian or something similar because the language is NOT exclusive to them #it's more like a lingua franca #which is why people who lived in hallownest and travelers that came from other lands understand it (tiso cloth lemm etc) #but that's another can of worms and i should get to work on some schoolwrok now

[mangozic]

my dead goth son and his friendly neighborhood personified concept of insanity

#really happy with how michael turned out :] i might stick to this design #rapunzel ah glowy hair <3 #i do need to workshop gerry though orz #have been working on this during breaks from my other projects and god it took way too long to finish #fun fact the final file for this is over 2gb 👍 forgot i was recording the timelapse #i could post it if anyone would be interested #the magnus archives #tma #michael distortion #michael shelley #tma michael #tma distortion #gerard keay #gerry keay #tma gerry #gerrymichael #doorkeay #technically? i’m not one to draw ship art usually but this one’s close enough i think #tma fanart #fanart #my art #digital art #illustration #magpod

[unstablebill]

I've been scream laughing at this for several days

#carbonation #ah

[o0kawaii0o]

ROMANCE DAWN TRIO

#I have been drawing more pre time skip stuff then actual recent stuff of OP #pre time skip really just had this dumb (but fun) energy #ah don't get me wrong tho OP is still very much a joy #in case you were actually wondering - yes sanji gave zoro that keychain as a joke but uwu #working on 1 more silly drawing atm! #one piece #op #roronoa zoro #op nami #luffy #monkey d luffy #o0kawaii0o

[aropride]

#text #copypasting a 21 chapter chat fic i wrote in 2018 into one big document #seeing glimpses of it #most of the time it's like. man. i did not write this #but then i see a phrase i was certain i came up with last year #and im like ah . so ive been making that joke since i was 15 ? #peer reviewed banger #rbsoff

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[bibbysstuff]

do not worry im still gonna draw them silly and cute together teehee

#fanart #fan art #my art #the amazing digital circus kinger #tadc kinger #the amazing digital circus #kinger x queenie #tadc queenie #the amazing digital circus queenie #the amazing digital circus art #ah yes #yummy angst #for u all :) #kinger x queener #tadc queener #the amazing digital circus queener

[ylceon]

even the longest of dreams end eventually

#honkai star rail #hsr misha #ah... i was right about sleepie and them being friends .... but i am so sad #my art #my son my son.......... #pls COME BACKKK

[reineydraws]

this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!

src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell

#one piece #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #opla fanart #opla #zosan #one piece fanart #one piece live action #vinsmoke sanji #sanzo #comic #op comic #incorrect one piece quotes #did yall notice mackenyu has slight dimples. i cant stop noticing them now. 🥲💖 #and taz skylar's smile... ah. 🥰🥰 #anyways i saw this post and thought it was perf for opla bc zoro was like 'why are we bringing the waiter' lol #and i wanted to draw mackenyu's zoro a little bit bc he is so!! pretty!!!!!

[yesokayiknow]

i hope that sometimes fifteen's psychic paper shorts out and shows what fourteen's thinking back on earth. he tries to sneak in somewhere and the guard's like this just says 'need to pick up cat food'? and fifteen's like 🥺 they got a cat

#doctor who #the doctor #fifteen #he shows up at the noble house next day with a bunch of cat toys and 14 explains that he was just picking up food for next door #and 15's like ah. well. the thing is. i thought if you only had one cat they'd be lonely so. and pulls out a kitten #rose after 15 leaves: is this an alien cat #14: 100% yeah. don't tell donna that bit

[teeth--king]

Whoops, another wave of burnout and health hit while I was in the middle of this but hey I finally finished it. Got my first moss rain and it nearly gave me a panic attack, why the hell was Elliott so chill about it. Green!

#also ah. you can see when my hands started to shake in the piece. whoops #art #stardew valley #1.6 spoilers #stardew #stardew valley elliott #stardew elliott #stardew valley farmer #stardew farmer #fanart

[slushy-sash]

very important research

#cunty ah cowboy #what is he researching you may ask #he's studying the relationship between the angle of body leaning and cuntiness #its a positive correlation #honkai star rail #hsr #dr ratio #veritas ratio #boothill #my art

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

emma roberts’ street style ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

#girlblogging #girlblogger #girlrotting #lana del rey #hell is a teenage girl #this is what makes us girls #girlcore #girl interupted syndrome #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lana del ray aesthetic #madison montgomery #american horror story #ahs coven #scream queens #femcel #coquette #coquette girl #coquette grunge #dollette #nymph3t #coquette aesthetic #divine feminine #manic pixie dream girl #2014 tumblr #black swan #jennifers body #sofia coppola #the virgin suicides #just girly things #emma roberts

[brookheimer]

favorite thing ab chatgpt is that if it doesn’t know something it’ll just start fucking lying. like blatantly fucking lying.

my dad teaches english classes and he just got a final paper with this sentence: “In terms of style, both poets are known for their use of imagery, but O'Hara's tends to be more straightforward and concrete, while Stevens' is often more abstract and metaphorical — for example, in O'Hara's poem "The French / Window," he writes: "A cat walks along the garden wall / and the tree waves its branches / The French / windows are blah" (lines 1-4).”

the thing about “The French / Window” is that it is not a poem that exists. at all. like, it was literally just written by chatgpt then inexplicably named as a famous frank o’hara poem. and it’s so. fucking. funny. sooo basically heads up for finals season — those of you who use chatgpt, be warned, because you will quite literally be citing nonexistent texts and your professors will show it to their daughters and together they will laugh at you endlessly and you will deserve it

#ah yes. my favorite o’hara line: ‘the french / windows are blah.’ #y’all trust chatgpt WAY too much this is embarrassing. imagine studying o’hara all semester and thinking this was one of the poems you read #The French / Window #loling #at least fact check it a LITTLE bit guys #frank o’hara #chatgpt #100 #500 #1000 #this got notes?? #5000 #10k #christ