#again i apologise for giving her such a painful backstory but like .. i wanted there to be an explanation for everything so yea :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

acacia-may · 1 year

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Thank you again for your ask, anon! 💖 I apologise that this has taken me a bit, but here are my favourite Black Clover characters narrowed down to 10. This was hard choice (part of the reason it has taken so long for me to answer this ask), but I allowed myself 5 female characters and 5 male characters in order to narrow it down! 😅

Note: This is list is in the order that they popped into my head.

Vanessa Enoteca

Charmy Pappitson

Finral Roulacase

Langris Vaude

Finesse Calmreich

Magna Swing

Noelle Silva

Charlotte Roselei

Gordon Agrippa

Henry Legolant

[Also worth mentioning: David, Dorothy, Grey, Leo, Letoile, Mereoleona, Rill, William, and Yuno...and so many others...This was difficult 💦]

This post ended up so much longer than I anticipated (I really should not be given license/encouragement to talk about my favourite Black Clover characters 😅) so I've decided to break the discussion in half and only talk about the first five characters here. The second half I'll have to add on later (as to not be too overwhelming 💦)

Discussion under the cut because it's long and contains some spoilers for the Elf and Spade Arcs. Also, some mild, vaugish discussions of certain characters' childhood tr*uma and mentions of past verbal, emotional, & psychological ab*se related to their tragic backstories.

1. Vanessa — Gosh, I love her! She might be my favourite character. There is just so much more to her than the token drunk, fan-service party-girl, that you originally see. She's the best "big sister" to everyone on her squad and has such a gift for building people up and encouraging them. Despite all of the pain and terrible experiences in her past, she chooses to be kind and still finds reasons to be genuinely happy, and what she wants more than anything else is to make everyone around her happy too. She's warm, intuitive, empathetic, a great listener, and one of the best at advice, and she loves her friends so deeply (with bonds so strong they can literally bring them back from the dead). I think one of my favourite things about her is how she is incredibly strong, independent, and capable as both a person and a mage, but she also gets to have her light-hearted, silly, and playful moments and gets to like more traditionally feminine things (which is not something a lot of strong female characters in media usually get to do, as if being feminine and being strong & independent are mutually exclusive 🙄 So it is really wonderful and refreshing to get to see all of those traits in her). Also, her character arc is stellar, in my opinion, and one of the best handled in the series. (That moment where she stares down at Her Majesty and tells her they have no bonds, gives me chills every time). She has grown so much, and it warms my heart that she has her Black Bulls family after everything she has been through. I want all the good things for her! 💕

2. Charmy — Charmy cracks me up! She always brings the brightest smile to my face whenever she shows up, but even more than that, I think she is a much better character than she is given credit for. I really love that oft-forgotten snarky, playful, a little bluntly honest, and a bit more intuitive side of her, so I try to bring that out when I write about her. I have a lot of respect for the role Charmy takes in her friendships too. In my mind at least, she isn't completely oblivious to what's going on with her friends, but for the most part, she chooses to takes this laissez-faire/'live and let live' attitude with them. She cares about them very much, wants them to be happy, and will make them all kinds of delicious foods to cheer them up if they're sad or upset, but she's a bit hands-off when it comes to what they decide to do with their lives (and doesn't feel it's her business to intervene unless she has to). If they want to share, I have no doubt that she'd listen (probably from the kitchen where she's putting a tray of cupcakes in the oven), but I really do think she personally is more comfortable showing support through feeding her friends rather than getting involved in their problems. (The issue being, of course, on those rare occasions, when her food doesn't work...). I've got a deep love for rare Charmy friendships--especially between her and Vanessa, and her and Finral (neither of which made it on my top 10 relationships but they'd probably rank as 11 & 12). My favourite future headcanon for Charmy is that she starts a bar & restaurant with Vanessa and marries Rill. 😊

3. Finral — It's probably obvious to anyone who has spent any length of time around my blog that I love the spatial brothers and could talk about them for ages (so I will try my best to keep it brief 😅). As much as I love him now, Finral actually annoyed me in the beginning with all of his excessive flirting (though my sister always teased me that he was my "secret favourite"), but I think that as the story goes on, we really get to dive into the why behind the way he is acting—that he’s really just starving for the unconditional love he never received as a child and that he has such a big, generous and kind heart and is looking for real love rather than just flings (like the usual “token flirt” character). Those kinds of wounds never really go away, and I think that inside Finral there is still a sad, lonely little boy just desperately waiting for, wishing for love that never comes and blaming himself for not being good enough to “earn” it. It breaks my heart—I just want somebody to scoop him up and hug him and tell him it isn’t his fault. And yes, it really is impossible not to love him after that—even if there have been many times when he as a character (and his arc) have frustrated me. I will say, I really think that Finral is at his best when he isn't trying so hard to be charming. Yes, he's a scatterbrained goofball, but he's a lovable scatterbrained goofball—and I personally find that extremely endearing. He wears his heart on his sleeve, is sensitive not only to his own feelings but also to the feelings of others, and he is incredibly sincere. It's rare that male characters get to be so soft and so vulnerable and get to have such big feelings without being a complete joke. (Sure there are some jokes about Finral being emotional, but for the most part, his emotions are validated and respected). He is also one of the most genuinely kind characters in the series, extremely generous, humble, and loyal to his friends. (He's also sometimes, begrudgingly, the voice of reason for them which is, honestly, saying something about the Black Bulls...). And, perhaps most importantly, he is all of these things even after of all of the horrible things that have happened to him in his life (which could have just as easily made him jaded, cold, and cynical like Langris). Finral has suffered a lot, but he still chooses kindness and forgiveness--chooses to see and to believe in the good in people (even in people who hurt him, like his brother who he never gives up on and always gives the benefit of the doubt). There is a strength in that kindness that he doesn't give himself credit for.

4. Langris — As much as I didn't particularly care for Finral in the beginning, I positively detested Langris for the longest time (because, of course, as soon as I start to really like Finral's character, Langris shows up and is nothing but nasty to him. I actually remember my sister and I, turning to each other saying, “Do we like Finral now?” “I think we like Finral now” right before we started the episode where Langris first appeared 💦). I never thought I'd be a Langris sympathizer (and certainly not to this extent), but I always got the feeling that Langris was a victim of the toxicity and abuse of House Vaude, too. It is a horrible, cruel thing for parents to withhold unconditional love from their children, and as much as Ledior and Liliane withheld love from Finral, they withheld it from Langris as well forcing him to “earn” their love by living up to unattainable expectations of perfection. Even though he was the "perfect son" and extremely successful, nothing he ever did was enough for his parents, leaving him a jaded and insecure overachieving perfectionist who is extremely hard on others but is even harder on himself. He is also, arguably, starving for unconditional love as much as Finral—the difference being that where his brother tries to fill that void with flirting & pursuing romantic relationships, Langris tries to fill it with his accomplishments, successes, and achievements (ultimately & unhealthily finding his entire sense of self-worth in them). I think what's really tragic here is that Langris has such a deep capacity for love--I have no doubt that when he chooses to care about someone, he will love forever. However, he has this crippling fear of vulnerability and rejection that prevents him from building meaningful relationships. He doesn't like games he can't see a possibility of winning and since he doesn't believe that anyone could actually love him, he counts himself out of the running and closes himself off to people--his brother included. None of this excuses any of the horrible things that Langris has done or the way that he has treated Finral, but it does make him a little more sympathetic and gives me hope for a brighter future in which he and Finral can make amends and begin to rebuild their brotherly relationship. My poor boys, I want good things for them. 💚💙

I know I have droned on and on already, but I feel like I've just roasted Langris without saying many good things about him 😅 so I'm adding some here. Langris is incredibly intelligent, forthright, dependable, responsible, and loyal. He can be snarky and a little too blunt at times, but I think for all of his attempts at being cold, curt, and detached, he actually has a secret softer, gentler side. In the companion to this post (about my top 10 favourite Black Clover relationships), I talked a little about Langris's friendship with Finesse and how that brings out this soft side of him. With her, I think, we get to see that he's very attentive and thoughtful, and that he can actually be very selfless. He genuinely wants her to be happy--even if that means helping his brother shape up so he can be a man worthy of her and take over their House (when, arguably, Langris is the one who wants to be the Head of House Vaude and has worked towards that goal for his entire life). And that is the Langris that I like--the Langris who cares very, very much, not in some big, grand gesture but in a cluster of small gestures that really boil down to being loyal, stable, and present when someone needs him and to being willing to make sacrifices for what's best for someone else. Say what you will about Langris (and there are a lot of negative and critical things to say about him), but when it comes down to it, I think he has grown a lot over the series and the person that he is now, has shown an admirable willingness to give up the things he wants for the people he cares about if he thinks that's what's best for them (not just in the example with Finesse and Finral, but he also gives up his greatest achievement, being Vice Captain of the Golden Dawn, to Yuno and basically admits in Spade that it's because Yuno is the better leader for their squad). He cares more than he's willing to admit, and though I don't think he'll ever be the type to easily express it with his words, his actions speak loud enough. And yes, I like him very much for that. 💖

5. Finesse — I suppose this is a good segue since I was just talking about her, but, yes, I know she is an out-of-the-box choice. However, I'm incredibly fond of her and think she is criminally underrated. I'll admit her appearance in media res did throw me for a loop for a bit and gave me some emotional whiplash at first, but that's not her fault (and is another story entirely). Even so, Finesse is instantly likeable. She might be the kindest person in this entire series, and she so generously and naturally gives to others without expecting anything for herself. She has such a gentle strength to her too--a beautiful example that even the smallest acts of kindness and encouragement can really make a hugest difference. What she’s done for Finral and Langris just by caring about them and offering them compassion and believing the best in them has really meant the world to them, I think (saying nothing of the fact that, in turn, both of the spatial mage boys would bend over backwards to make her happy--a fact that, I think, would genuinely surprise her as she's so humble, bless her heart 💕). I have no doubt that she genuinely cares for both Finral and Langris very much, and she is so good for both of her boys and knows them so well--sometimes, even better than they know themselves. I don't know the extent to which she understands the reality of how awful things are at House Vaude because, I imagine, both Finral and Langris are very protective of her and don’t want to "burden" her with their problems (though she wouldn't see it that way if they ever did open up to her, of course); however, I think she knows that things are difficult for them (i.e. that Finral is struggling with self-deprecation and was suffering emotionally before he left home and that Langris is much harder on himself than he is on anyone else and misses his brother very much) and decides to be this kind, warm, and gentle presence in both of their lives. She chooses to see so much good in them, even if they can't see it in themselves (when she tells Finral that she believes he's a true magic knight or defends Langris to the King even when he's gone on an elf-possession-induced rampage, for instance). No matter what, she selflessly wants what's best for her boys, and there's something very sweet about how she inspires them to become the best version of themselves--with Finral striving to become "worthy of her" and Langris bringing out that softer, gentler side when they're spending time together.

I think Finesse gets a bit of a bad rep for being meek, gentle, and “dull” (to quote a younger, dumber version of a certain someone who likely just didn't want to be in arranged marriage), but there really is a strength in consistently choosing to be kind, especially in the face of adversity. This poor girl is chronically ill and (arguably because of that) is forced into an arranged marriage which is, on paper at least, undesirable for her--marrying into House Vaude is definitely below her station as a member of the House of Kira, plus it's a literal hellscape of a vicious cycle of toxicity and abuse. Her future in-laws are genuinely horrible people who traumatized their sons with their cruelty, leaving both of her possible future spouses/romantic prospects with serious, unresolved psychological issues. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't even really know which one of their sons she's actually engaged to... Just luckily, Finral and Langris are decent enough people and either of them would be likely be a good husband and try his best to make her happy, but still... this is a lot for poor Finesse. And yet, she takes this all in stride, approaches the situation with dignity, grows to genuinely care for Langris and Finral, and shows them nothing but kindness, support, and encouragement (quite possibly for the first time in their lives). In fact, when Langris has all that elf-business and the King threatens to dissolve the betroval and punish the Vaudes, it is Finesse who comes to their defense rather than taking what is quite possibly her only chance at an "out," and there is something to be admired in that, I think. She just deserves a lot more love and a lot more credit than she is given, and she is genuinely one of my favourites. 💖

Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end! 🥰 Many thanks again for the ask, anon. 💖 I think I will need to stop there for now. I will talk about the other 5 in another post as this one is already super long... 😅 Cheers!! 🥂

#answered asks #Vanessa is the best! I love her!#this really turned into a defense of finesse #i'm not sure if she needed to be defended but just in case here it is #Langris gets roasted here & deserves it (but I still like him)#finral roulacase #langris is such a tsun #langris vaude meta analysis #langris vaude #finesse calmreich #lady finesse is underrated #finesse calmreich meta analysis #black clover meta analysis #my boys 💚💙#spatial mage brothers #vanessa enoteca #charmy pappitson

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julemmaes · 3 years

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drivers license

Nesta Archeron x Cassian modern au

A/N: I didn’t think I would actually ever end this. When the song came out I knew I just had to write something for Nessian, so here it is. I gotta warn you tho, that this has a large backstory and that it’s pure angst.

warnings: abusive relationship, mentions of death, car accident

I’d like to dedicate this to my sweet and kind friend Dani, who can go fuck herself for making me cry while I was translating this and had NO RIGHT to do so. I hope you cry yourself to sleep with this one:)

Also, Sayo, Maizie, this has an open ending, it was the best I could do, sorry

Word count: 8,550

three years, four months and twelve days before

Tomas burst out laughing beside her, "Why on earth would you get a license?" he asked looking at her, "I can take you anywhere, you just call me."

Nesta huffed, putting her hands between her thighs to warm up against the freezing cold, "Because I can't always depend on you, Tommy." she leaned forward into the small cockpit to pick up the bag at her feet, "Plus, if I got my license, you wouldn't have to drive all these extra kilometres every morning and I could go wherever I want when you're not around."

She pulled out her phone, checking the message from her sister Elain warning her that she would be staying at her friend Lucien's house. She shook her head. She couldn't understand how it was possible that they weren't together yet.

Looking up at her boyfriend, she knew she'd said the wrong things when Tomas rolled his eyes, moving his hand from her thigh and bringing it to the steering wheel, "And why would you ever go anywhere without me?"

It was her turn to roll her eyes, "I meant to go to the supermarket or the gym." then, she turned to face him, giving him a reassuring smile. She didn't want him to worry about her. "I don't like going to clubs at night, you know that. I wouldn't go anywhere like that without you, I know you're jealous."

At the time, the words had had positive connotations for Nesta. That overwhelming toxic feature of his character that he had always managed to sell her for something to hold on to like a precious treasure, "I'm jealous of you because you're mine, because I love you and I don't want anyone else to see you the way I do. You are only mine."

Nesta felt herself blush and looked out the window, "I love you, too."

"As you should," he flashed her an amused grin and his hand returned to her thigh, giving it a quick squeeze, "Now can you please drop this insane driving licence idea?"

She nodded, gritting her teeth. She didn't need her own car, she didn't need to move around on her own. Tomas was always available to take her wherever they went.

She relaxed against the seats, humming to the song that was playing from the radio and forced a tight smile on her lips, thanking life for finding a perfect soulmate for her.

If only she had known at that moment how effective his control over her was, she might have saved herself years of shock and pain.

three years and six days before

"Can you take me to Claire's bar before you go with the boys?" she asked wearily between the sheets.

Tomas had gotten up immediately after finishing and was already starting to get dressed. He had done it so quickly that when Nesta shifted her gaze to him, he already had his boxers and trousers on. "I can't." he simply replied, "And don't even think about getting a ride from your friends."

She groaned, pouting a little, "So I should just stay home and do nothing?"

He didn't even look at her as he slipped his shirt on, "I already told you, I don't like it when you ride with Emerie. That girl is a public menace and she can't drive at all."

She let herself fall backwards onto the bed, covering her bare breasts, "She doesn't drive that bad." she muttered.

Tomas scoffed, "But if she hit a pole last week."

Nesta chuckled, turning on her stomach and looking over her shoulder at him. He'd had asked her that morning if he could stop by before going to the bar with the boys, to hang out with her for a bit. They'd ended up in bed pretty much immediately - her family out with kin - and now, not even half an hour after he'd arrived, he was already leaving.

At the beginning of their relationship it had bothered her. The fact that he would go to her house for a quick fuck, during which she hardly ever finished, and then go out with his friends, leaving her at home. After a few months of being together, Nesta thought he was doing it so he wouldn't leave her alone all day. That he was doing it to show her that he could find some time to show her his love.

God how wrong she had been.

"What if I get the girls to come here?" she asked suddenly, when he was ready to leave.

Tomas sighed so loudly that Nesta wondered if he'd been breathless the whole time. When he looked at her, she knew she had angered him. He ran a hand over his face, looking into her eyes, "Why do you have to be like that? I asked you if you could please not go out with anyone tonight and you keep pushing and pushing." he exclaimed exasperated. Nesta immediately felt guilty, "If you care so much about seeing your friends, go out with them, but when they make you do something completely idiotic and stupid, don't come crying to me."

She shook her head, swallowing back tears at the tone of voice he used. He was right, why couldn't she stay home one night if he asked her without making too much fuss? Tomas had the right to ask her something like that and it seemed like she was just looking for an excuse to argue. She apologised, getting up to walk over to him and wrapped her arms around his body, kissing his taut jaw, "I'll stay home."

Tomas pushed her roughly away from him, planting a quick kiss on her cheek and leaving with a simple bye and Nesta was left alone that night. And the next one again and again, until Emerie stopped asking her out and the only times she could, was when Tomas was with her.

two years, nine months and twenty-six days before

Nesta's heart had stopped in her chest the second her father had called her from the emergency room.

Feyre had burst into tears when Elain, who had been beside her during the whole call, had warned her that their parents had been involved in a serious accident and that their mum was now fighting for her life in an operating room. Their dad hadn't gone into details, but he too was crying as he told her that it was something major and that they would have to hurry to get to the hospital.

Nesta hadn't thought two seconds about dialling Tomas' number and what she thought would be a short, hurried call had turned into a fifteen minute argument.

"I already told you I can't come, I'm at the arcade with my friends, call someone else," her boyfriend was telling her in an annoyed tone.

"Please," she breathed, "Please, Tommy, we have to go to the hospital. I don't know who else to call. The buses would take too long." tears flowed undisturbed down her cheeks, but her voice was controlled. She could hear Feyre in the other room crying in despair and Elain trying to calm her down in every way as Nesta tried to find a way to get to the hospital as quickly as possible.

If only she hadn't let him talk her out of getting her license.

"Nesta, stop fucking bugging me, I said I can't. And the discussion is over."

She was about to retort that it was his fault, she was about to yell at him that he owed her, that he'd promised her that if she ever needed a ride, he'd be there for her, but the signal of the call ending rumbled through her phone and she screamed in frustration.

She couldn't call Emerie or Claire. She couldn't call anyone.

Tomas had made sure she had no one to call but him. And now Nesta was alone.

She had helped Feyre calm down, updated them on the situation and they had taken three buses, taking over an hour and a half to get to the hospital. And it didn't matter that they ran from each stop to the next. It didn't matter that they had prayed to every god in existence that their mother would be alive when they got there.

Because Adele Archeron was already dead.

two years, nine months and twenty-three days before

"Get out of my house!" cried Nesta, "Get out of my house and don't come back!"

Tomas was fuming with anger, his face flushed and the vein in his neck pulsing, "Nesta you need to calm down. You're not angry with me right now-"

"Yes, I fucking am!" she sobbed, throwing her arms in the air, "It's your fault!"

His gaze darkened, "It's not my fault your mother died," he whispered threateningly.

She shuddered as if he had struck her physically. She blinked, letting some tears fall, before whispering back, "Get out, Tomas, and never show your face again."

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, "And how are you going to do that without me, huh? How are you going to get around? How are you going to survive these days without me, without anyone?" he had moved so close that Nesta could feel his breath on her face, but she didn't pull away. He kept his gaze fixed in hers, "You're alone, can't you see that? You need me."

She held her breath, "I don't need you. I don't need anyone." she said through her teeth, lifting her chin up, "I'm going to get my license and I'll surely know how to take better care of my body than you ever did in our entire relationship."

When she saw that her words had the desired effect in the boy in front of her, who backed away a step and began breathing heavily, crossing his arms over his chest, she kept talking.

"That's what you've always been, a taxi driver and a sexual pastime," she spat at him.

Tomas remained silent, an angry grimace painted on his face. He turned to the door, grabbing the handle and then looked over his shoulder at her, a grin creeping over his face. "Have fun getting your license and dying like your mother."

And then Tomas disappeared and Nesta never saw him again.

one year, seven months and five days before

"Miss, are you okay?"

The driving instructor's hand rested on her shoulder and Nesta's head snapped in the direction of the woman next to her. She must have looked a lot more shocked than she thought because the woman cursed, "Honey, I don't think we should try to drive today."

Nesta wanted to nod, to tell her she was right, to yell that she couldn't do it. She didn't want to, didn't want to. She clenched her hands around the steering wheel, hoping to find a foothold, an anchor, something that would bind her to this world when her vision blurred and she felt her chest tighten.

She tried to breathe, but she couldn't get the air down, couldn't get her lungs to expand, couldn't-

"Girl, I think we'd better get out of the car," the woman murmured. She reached for the keyhole and slipped them out from under the steering wheel, keeping her gaze fixed on Nesta, who was struggling to focus more with each passing second. The instructor opened the door and walked around the car, opening hers, but Nesta couldn't move.

She closed her eyes, forcing her body to swallow oxygen before she passed out. When She did, the sound that came from her throat sounded like the one of an old man on the verge of death. She brought one hand to her chest, the other to her stomach when she felt she was going to be sick.

She unbuckled her seatbelt with some trouble with trembling hands, but as soon as she was free of the snake that was pinning her against the seat, she moved the woman who was now calling for help from other instructors and dropped to the ground on her knees, hurling up the lunch she had eaten a few hours before.

She didn't feel people's hands on her body as they helped her up, nor did she hear her father's voice asking what had happened. She didn't realise she was back home in her bed, didn't realise she had been there for days.

She could only imagine the fear and pain her mother must have felt the moment the car skidded on the ice and her father was no longer in control of the vehicle.

one year, five months and twenty-two days before

Nesta had taken some downers before going for her first drive. This time she had been confident that she would be able to drive for at least half an hour without any problems, that she would drive home in her own car, with her father beside her.

This had not been the case.

For the fourth time she had sat down, buckled her seat belt and done all the checks she had to do before starting, and then panic had taken over her body. It had assailed every fibre of her being and had squeezed her lungs and heart so tightly that Nesta had thought she was dying. She had jumped out of the car when she had felt the vehicle roar beneath her once she had turned the keys in the ignition and vomited again.

She would never be able to get her license.

the day

It had been almost three years since her mother had died. Almost three years since her problems had started, since she had realised what kind of person she was. What kind of person Tomas was.

She had spent the last three years of her life in panic, in pain. Every step she took, every word she said, every look she gave, cost her more than anything else.

Nesta wasn't living. This was not life.

She was convinced that her mother had taken her soul with her when she had left her.

Because Nesta was empty most of the time, drained of all emotion, completely anaesthetised and oblivious to the outside world around her at times. And then there were the moments, lasting seconds or moments or whole minutes of excruciating agony, when Nesta felt it all.

And that all threatened to crush her every time.

Feyre and Elain had somehow managed to overcome it. They had managed to go their separate ways and had left their sister behind, because she had wanted to be left behind.

And if Nesta had been lonely when no one had been able to take her to her dying mother, she had not yet known true solitude. Because when even your own family turned its back on you and left you alone to cry on the road of that path you were supposed to take together while you screamed and no one could hear you, only then would you look up and see Loneliness smiling at you as it held out its hand.

Now, sitting on the floor in one of the aisles of the university library, she was holding her head in her hands and trying not to fall asleep, with little result.

She had not slept that night, like the previous thousand, but unlike the other mornings, she had not been able to take her tablets and during the third lecture of the day she had risked falling asleep on the desk.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, opening them occasionally when she heard noises, but she must have fallen asleep completely at some point, because when she opened them again, her head was resting on the carpet and a hand was shaking her shoulder.

"Can you hear me?" a deep, concerned voice was asking. Nesta closed her eyes again and the grip on her shoulder tightened, "Can you hear me? Are you alright?" the boy demanded. She moved her lips, but no sound came out, "What an idiotic question, you're obviously not okay."

Nesta rolled onto her back, opening her eyes fully and looking up at the ceiling of the library. What was going on?

"Do you want me to go get someone, do you need me to call an ambulance?" the voice kept asking, sounding more and more concerned with each passing second. Nesta shifted her gaze to the person whose hand was on her shoulder and had started massaging it, applying pressure with its thumb. The movement harder than necessary, as if it was done to keep her awake.

The boy was handsome. Long hair held up in a tousled bun and the faint hint of a beard that hadn't been shaved in days covered the sculpted face of what might have looked like a Greek god. She couldn't reach his eyes that hers slowly closed.

Nesta was so tired.

"Hey, no no, open your eyes, stay awake," he shook her again, harder this time, and she groaned raising her left arm, "Sorry, I just need you to stay awake," he apologised, Nesta could hear the apprehension in his voice.

Why was he worried? He didn't know her.

"Can you tell me your name?"

She opened her mouth, trying to answer, but nothing came out and she looked up at him at that point. His dark eyes, a very common brown, stared at her glowing with emotion, but Nesta couldn't bring herself to care. She was having such a hard time staying awake, she just wanted to sleep, sleep, sleep.

"Alright, you don't have to answer, can you sit up?" he asked her then, after a minute of silence. She shook her head, letting it fall to the side, shifting her gaze to the floor again. He cursed and then removed his hand from Nesta's shoulder. "I'll call the ambulance."

Her eyes snapped to him so fast they sent a rush of pain through her brain. She moved her hand closer to him, resting it on his leg, and the boy snapped his head in her direction at the exact instant she sobbed and panic threatened to take control. She shook her head, taking short, laboured breaths, "No, no."

"Sweetheart I don't know what to do and I can't leave you here," he replied, putting the phone down and taking her hand in his. He glanced left and right, searching for anyone else. He sighed, returning his gaze to her, "If you can say a whole sentence without passing out and getting up I won't call 118. But, for all we both know, you could be having a stroke or a heart attack and we wouldn't know, and I'd rather you didn't die," he chuckled at the end of the monologue.

There was no trace of amusement in that sound though, nothing to suggest he was enjoying this.

Nesta tightened her fingers around his, "My name is Nesta."

She didn't know if she had spoken, maybe she had just thought she had, but the smile that appeared on his lips was answer enough to her doubts, "Nesta." he repeated, offering her a nod of his head, "I like that. My name is Cassian." he added. She didn't answer, but continued to stare at him.

"Can you by any chance tell me how old you are?" he asked after a while, arranging his bent legs underneath him.

Nesta sighed, closing her eyes, "Twenty-two."

Cassian gave her a little nudge with his knee, "Eyes open or I'll call an ambulance."

She obeyed, "How old are you?" she asked in a thin voice, so weak she was startled. She needed to sleep.

"I'll be twenty-four in a few days." he answered quickly, "Now a slightly more complex question, why did you faint?" he asked and the muscles around his mouth seemed to tense.

She shook her head, now much more aware of what was happening. Slowly she was returning to the world of the living. She removed her hand from Cassian's and felt as if he wanted to hold her for a moment, but he let go immediately and she thought she had imagined it. She pulled herself up into a seat, holding her head with her hands.

"I didn't pass out. I think I fell asleep," she replied, massaging her forehead. She grimaced and looked up at him.

The usual expression he'd had up to that point only seemed to grow worse and the worry doubled, "What do you mean you think you fell asleep?" then his brows knitted together and he leaned towards her, speaking in a lower voice, "I'm sorry if this seems a little inappropriate, but do you have a home?"

It took Nesta a while to realise what he was alluding to with those words, but when she did, she nodded, adding a faint, "I don't sleep."

His eyebrows shot up, "You don't sleep." it wasn't a question.

"I don't sleep." she repeated, resting one hand on one of the shelves and pulling herself up.

He nodded, looking up at her from below and pulling himself up in turn shortly after, ready to catch her if she fell to the floor one more time.

Nesta seemed to become aware of the situation they were in and felt her body stiffen suddenly and waited, waited for panic to assail her, for shame to take over. She waited to feel everything and too quickly, but her breathing did not change and her vision did not blur and Nesta thought she was dreaming at last, that she was sleeping so deeply that she could imagine a life where these things did not dominate her life.

When Cassian gave her a small smile, her heart missed a beat, "How are you feeling?"

She nodded and answered without thinking. Because everyone had been asking her the same thing for years. "Good."

He seemed to study her face for a few moments, then offered her an arm, turning to the strangely empty tables that stood in front of the entrance, "How about I buy you a coffee and then maybe take you to one of your friends?" he asked, "I don't want to intrude too much and ask if you want a ride home, but at least they could help you."

Nesta looked at him with a confused expression, "Home?"

The slightly more relieved expression that had begun to make its way onto his face fell away completely, replaced by an apologetic one, "Forgive me, I understood that-"

She quickly blocked him, "I have a home, I'm not homeless," he sighed, "But why would I want to go home?"

He looked at her as a second head had popped up on her shoulder, "Nesta," the way he said her name made her forget for a moment how messed up her life was, "you were sleeping on the floor of the library. You can't stay at the university, you risk accidentally falling asleep and hurting yourself. Are you narcoleptic?" he asked her suddenly.

She opened her eyes wide, linking her arm with his, "No." she whispered.

He chuckled, "Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything, but it's not every day you find a pretty girl asleep on the floor. And I heard a thud, that's why I thought you fainted. I heard you fall," he glanced at her.

She still looked at him with wide eyes and didn't stop as he bent down to pick up her backpack and put it on his shoulder. Cassian turned another smile to her, "You there? Can you walk?"

She nodded and they spent the next few hours in the university cafeteria and sometimes Cassian would ask her questions that she couldn't answer, but he didn't force her to speak and seemed more than satisfied with the monosyllabic answers she gave him.

When she told him that she didn't know anyone there and that she didn't have a car to get home, he didn't comment on either, but offered to give her a ride and she accepted without hesitation.

And she accepted the next day when she met him after class on her way out of the chemistry building. And the next day when his car pulled up in front of the bus stop where she was waiting. And the next day again and again and again.

And suddenly Nesta was no longer alone.

three months and one day after

Cassian had been staring at her for so long that Nesta was beginning to wonder if he was dead. He sat so still, clutching the sandwich between his fingers as if the wind might have blown it away. She was also starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Not because her friend was staring at her, she was used to that, but because of the way he was doing it.

They had gone out for a walk in the mountains and had reached the top after more than four hours of hiking, but the landscape in front of them had erased any physical pain they had accumulated during the climb. They had sat on rocks at the summit and were now having lunch.

She was staring at the mouth of the Sidra, the point where the sea was darkest, but she couldn't chew with him looking at her as if she would erupt at any moment.

"For God's sake Cassian, what is it?" she asked exasperated at one point, fixing her eyes on him.

He didn't answer, but took a bite of his sandwich, furrowing his brow even more.

Nesta shook her head, urging him to speak. She huffed, pointing to the ravine below them with one hand, "I'll jump if you don't tell me why the fuck you look like a failed stalker."

Cassian chuckled at that, finally looking away and Nesta let go of a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"I wanted to ask you something," he began, shifting his eyes to the landscape, "But first you have to promise me you won't jump."

Nesta looked at him sideways, "That depends."

He opened his eyes wide, laughing, "Then no, I won't tell you what I'm thinking about."

She rolled her eyes, huffing, but let it go. She was used to this kind of conversation with Cassian by now.

"Okay, I'll ask," he said suddenly, startling her. Normally he would have laughed at having managed to provoke such an overt reaction in her, but he didn't and it made her worry even more, "But if you don't want to answer you don't have to and we can shut up or change the subject."

"If you put it that way, I'm already telling you I don't want to talk about it," she pointed out.

It was true. Cassian had gotten to know her in such a short time that it had shocked her at first. She still didn't understand why, not fully, but he had stayed and was still there and didn't seem to want to leave anytime soon.

He sighed, completely ignoring her comment, "Why is it that every time we drive it feels like someone is holding a gun to your head? What is it that scares you?" he asked to introduce the topic, "If I'm driving too fast or if it's something I do, you can tell me."

Nesta looked at him. She looked at him and didn't say anything and he understood she wasn't going to answer, not at that moment at least, and they stayed in that spot on the summit for another hour in silence. Where she had time to think, to reason about how important Cassian actually was to her. About how much Cassian had done in such a short time, to bring her back to life.

They had just arrived at the car park, were stamping their feet on the asphalt to remove the excess mud under their shoes, when Nesta looked at the car door and stiffened. She felt his gaze on her body again, but she took a breath and got into the car, sitting down and letting the fear fade, letting the storm inside of her settle.

They were going to face a couple of hours' drive back to the city, more than enough time for her to be able to tell him-

"My mum died. In a car accident." she said in one breath as Cassian took a seat next to her.

His hands stopped around the steering wheel, tightening. He slowly turned to her, nodding slowly, "Yeah, I figured as much. I just didn't know how." she closed and opened her fists, keeping her gaze fixed in front of her. She took a deep breath and Cassian placed a hand on hers, "We don't have to talk about it now. But thank you for telling me, for trusting me."

She bowed her head, "If I don't do this now I might never do it again," she murmured.

"Okay," he indulged her, then intertwined their fingers, "I'll wait for you though, I don't want you to tell me this very second."

Nesta sighed, closing her eyes, "Alright."

"Alright." he repeated.

Twenty minutes passed before she managed to open her mouth again, "You know Tomas?" she asked, despite knowing full well that he had a clear and precise picture and idea of who the boy in question was. They had already talked about him several times.

Cassian just nodded, but Nesta didn't fail to notice that the muscles in his arm twitched.

"You already know how... complicated our relationship was," she murmured.

He scoffed, "Complicated is not the word I would use to describe your relationship." when she shot him a look, he turned red, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." he said settling back in his seat, "Please continue."

She straightened her back, "The day my mother died, I called Tomas."

"Of course," he replied, and there was no trace of sarcasm, Nesta noted, because anyone would have called their boyfriend at a similar time. He shifted his gaze to the mirror, slowing the car and moving into the right lane, letting a car that Nesta had noticed had been on his heels for a few minutes pass him. It had stressed her out more than she'd imagined, because once it had passed them, she was just a bit calmer.

"We didn't know how to get to the hospital and my dad couldn't pick us up. I asked him to take me there and he didn't, because he was out with some friends of his," she confessed, furrowing her brow, "I realised that day how much Tomas controlled my life. I realised that I had lost everyone because of him and how now I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to my mother because I didn't have a driving licence and I wouldn't be able to get there in time."

She felt emotion rise in her throat, but nothing like she had felt every time she thought about that day. And maybe it was because she was getting over it, maybe it was because of his hand on her leg moving his fingers to soothe her, she didn't know.

"There were months after Mum died when I couldn't even get into cars," she continued in a weak voice, "I only managed to do it after seven months, because we had to go on holiday and my dad didn't want to leave me home alone. He was afraid I might do something... reckless." she paused as they both assimilated the true meaning of those words and Cassian squeezed her leg, taking a deep breath, "After that trip I managed to ride in the car, not with a few worries, but I did it."

"I'm glad you made it," he told her, keeping his gaze fixed on the road. She looked up at him, smiling faintly and was surprised by that gesture. She didn't think she'd ever be able to talk about her mother without bursting into tears and yet here she was, smiling at her best friend.

"Me too," she said, "you may be less happy to hear this part."

"I'm sure I won't blame you for it, whatever it is," he said softly.

Nesta looked at him and couldn't find any indication that he was lying to her, so she continued, "The last time I saw Tomas, he wished I would die in the car like my mother had, three days after her death."

Cassian's head snapped towards her, his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly. He returned his gaze to the road immediately, seeing how Nesta had begun to shift her gaze from him to the road, but the shock in his features didn't seem to go away, "Please tell me you're joking."

She continued, without giving him an answer, "Since that day, every time I've tried to get behind the wheel, every time I've gone to driving school so I could learn, I've had a panic attack." she said, torturing the inside of her cheek, "A few times I've ended up throwing up everything in my body and I've never been able to do more than start the car. I've never been able to get my license and I have no idea how my sisters put up with it," she concluded.

Cassian remained silent for so long that Nesta began to think the worst. Maybe she had been wrong to tell him, maybe she had gone too far. Her father had told her once, that she tended to say too little or too much, there was no middle ground with her. Maybe she'd shared too much this time and now Cassian thought she was a fool and a coward. After all, it was only a matter of learning how to drive, even stupid people could do it and it certainly didn't take a degree-

"I don't know what you're thinking, but I can hear the gears in your brain moving and I know perfectly well it's not good," he said, squeezing her hand when she tried to pull away. He gave her a sincere look, "I'm sorry, Nesta," he whispered, "For everything you've been through and experienced. For not realising what the problem was sooner." then he grimaced, "I would have avoided doing two or three of the shits I did in the car when we first met, now I understand why you reacted the way you did." he said referring to when during the first few weeks he'd given her a ride home, he'd speeded at red lights or passed other cars on roads where they shouldn't have. "I'm sorry you had to have that asshole next to you. If I could just talk to him..." he trailed off, tensing his jaw. He breathed through his nose, watching her when they finally ended up on a straight bit of road.

His eyes blazed with a rage that Nesta had rarely seen in people, but there was more than that. Sadness, sorrow for the little girl she had been, for what had been taken from her. But not pity, never pity from the boy she had come to know and like, "I'm sorry."

seven months and fifteen days after

"Nesta breathe," Cassian was whispering to her, one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hand, gripping the steering wheel in front of her.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head, trying to swallow air. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart about to explode in her chest.

"Yes, sweetheart, you need to breathe," he chuckled. The hand on her shoulder dropped lower, starting to caress her skin there, "Inhale." he whispered, inhaling through his nose, "Exhale," he blew the air out of his mouth. "Now together," he ordered her. When Nesta didn't, but only began to breathe more heavily, Cassian told her to open her eyes.

She opened her eyes wide, watching her boyfriend as he mimicked the air rushing in and out of her lungs with his hand, "Breathe with me," he told her with an encouraging smile. Nesta wanted to tell him to fuck off, but the next time he inhaled, she did so with him. And slowly, after a few minutes of Cassian whispering soft words of comfort and guiding her through the whole process, Nesta was able to regain full control of her body.

"Very good," he finally told her, leaving a kiss on her temple. She looked over the windscreen, "Are you ready? Do you remember everything you need to do?" he asked her, giving her more room to start, but still keeping a hand on her leg. She nodded, not speaking for fear of breaking the bubble she was in.

It had been a couple of months since Cassian had let her drive his car. Or rather, letting her have panic attacks in his car whenever Nesta thought she could make it.

And she had made it, a dozen times now. She never made it more than twenty metres before she'd slammed on the brakes and thrown herself out of the car to vomit, but the last two times she'd managed not to let the panic take her over and she'd managed not to lose control completely.

This time she felt she could do more. Cassian had positioned the car further back than usual in the car park of that abandoned neighborhood to see if she could turn when she got to the far end. She'd gone back and forth three times before, but the idea of having to turn put a different kind of fear into her.

"I got it." she muttered more to herself than to him.

She started the car, stepping on the accelerator and slowly lifting the one on the clutch pedal. The car started forward and Nesta let out a breath, feeling her heart beat in her throat.

"Slowly, like this..." murmured Cassian as they reached the end of the car park, "Now slow down a little and turn the steering wheel to the right, slowly," he explained to her. Nesta did exactly that and the car turned smoothly on the asphalt. She didn't even realise she had arrived on the opposite side of the car park until she had to turn again and again and she did it so many times that Cassian laughed beside her. When she decided she was tired and ready to get out and really breathe, she braked slowly, managing to stop without turning off the car. She turned the keys in the lock and then the car stopped roaring beneath her.

She turned to her boyfriend, a smile going from ear to ear, and whispered, "I did it." a laugh escaped her control.

Cassian did the same, nodding, "You did it!"

They both jumped in, banging their heads against each other's and burst out laughing, but the fun was short-lived as Cassian slid a hand to the back of her head and pulled her against him, kissing her and conveying all the love and pride he was feeling at that moment.

They had swapped places soon after and he had driven her home. Nesta had been about to ask him if he wanted to come in - by now her family was used to seeing him in the house around the clock, being that they'd been together for a couple of months - but his phone had rung.

"Mor?"

At the blonde girl's name, Nesta had felt that tinge of jealousy rise in her stomach.

Cassian had frowned, "Calm down, calm down, I can be there in a moment. Are you at your father's or your mother's?" he had glanced at Nesta letting her know he wasn't going to stop and she had smiled, leaning over to him and leaving a light kiss on his lips.

Mor always called at the most inopportune times and Cassian, no matter where they were or what they were doing, would drop everything, take Nesta home and run to her friend's house to help her with whatever problems she was having.

Before he darted off her street, he had promised her that he would call her that night when he got back home, but Nesta knew that wasn't going to happen. That's why she wasn't disappointed when she waited until midnight for his call and it didn't come, and then one o'clock and two o'clock, until sleep claimed her and she surrendered to it.

ten months, two weeks and eleven days after

"Are you serious?" asked Nesta, letting her hands fall from Cassian's face down her sides.

His silence let her know that yes, he was serious and that yes, he would leave in the middle of... what they were doing.

"Cassian this has to stop, it can't go on like this forever," she murmured, turning to pick up her shirt on the floor. When she turned back around, he was adjusting his crotch with a grimace on his face and Nesta had to call on all her strength not to yell at him.

"Nes, sweetheart," he began, with that hangdog expression he always had whenever they discussed this matter.

She lifted a hand to stop him, fixing her icy eyes in his dark ones, "I don't care to hear yet another excuse." she said through her teeth, tucking her shirt in and covering her naked body, "It's been months, months Cassian, that every time she calls you, for whatever reason, you just grab your shit and go and refuse to give me any real explanations." she hated the way her voice sounded, but she couldn't help it. He had stopped himself from dressing and was watching her carefully. "I understand that Morrigan may have some personal issues, I don't need to know what it is, but why she needs you, every time something happens to her, is something that doesn't sit well with me."

He sighed, running a hand over his face, "I need you to trust me, Nes," he reached out to her, taking a thin hand between his large, warm ones. Hands in which Nesta had found comfort over the past year. His eyes sparkled with love as they settled on her face, "I need you to trust me."

Nesta breathed softly, squinting her eyes, "I do trust you, Cass, but-"

"Then that's enough," he interjected, squeezing her hand. He leaned down to kiss her and she bent her head back, taking in the love she craved every second of her day. When he pulled away it was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over her, "I love you," he whispered.

He left the house without saying goodbye and Nesta was left alone in her room, her head still bent back and the phantom touch of his lips on hers.

one year, four months and eight days after

Their anniversary was just around the corner and Nesta couldn't have been happier.

Or so she pretended to be.

The last three months had been agonising.

Between her and Cassian things were flowing well. She could get into the car and have almost no reaction, and she could certainly now turn the steering wheel left and right and go more than fifty metres in reverse without skidding. Cassian had almost finished his classes and only had a couple of exams left before he could graduate and she was so proud. She had spent Christmas with him and his adoptive family and had had the pleasure of meeting his brothers, who had lived in another country for the last two years and planned to return to Velaris for good after New Year's Eve. She had never seen him so happy as when she had gone with him to the airport to pick up Azriel and Rhysand.

Nesta's only big, fat problem was a certain blonde girl.

Morrigan had managed to become so entrenched in their relationship that she sometimes didn't even realize it anymore. It was like having a daughter who needed attention every four hours or she would die.

Nesta was sorry that the girl was so miserable that she needed someone by her side so often, but it drove her insane that this person had to be her boyfriend. Especially when it affected the relationship and the dynamics between them.

Cassian was sometimes so tired that he would fall asleep in the middle of class and quite often Nesta had joked that she was the one who never slept, hoping to get the truth out of him once and for all, but she had never got anywhere.

However, when Nesta had snapped and he had tried to pin the blame on her, she had sent him away and explicitly told him it was over. Cassian had looked at her with his mouth wide open, had tried to apologise, blaming it on the lack of sleep, exhaustion, but they both knew it was all his fault.

She'd been sick for days on end, terrified that she'd lost yet another person in her life, but on the sixth day Cassian had come to her house and asked if they could go for a ride.

They had been out till four in the morning, laughing in the traffic, shouting the songs. He'd made love to her in that car, which was just a car like any other as much as it meant everything to the two of them. It had been the place where Nesta had learned to trust him, where she had confessed to him her every doubt, her every fear. It had been on those seats where they had first declared their love for each other.

He had sung her a song by John Legend, a song that promised eternal love even through the ups and downs of a relationship. He had promised her that he would stand by her even when no one else would. He had apologised to her for all the times he had run to Mor and promised her that it would never happen again.

If only Nesta hadn't believed him.

one year, four months and twenty-one days after

She opened her eyes the second the mattress moved beneath her, warning her that Cassian had woken up and was getting up. She smiled into the pillow, ready to roll over and pull him back down into the covers with her, but when she saw the time on the alarm clock placed on her nightstand, she found a very bad feeling twisting her gut.

She turned to her boyfriend, watching him as he moved stealthily around the room, picking up his clothes. When their eyes met, Nesta already knew what was going on. Cassian looked at her carefully and made to open his mouth, justifying why she was sneaking out of her house at 3:27am, but Nesta shook her head, bringing the blankets up to her chin and murmuring loudly enough that he could hear her, she said, "Get out and don't come back."

And Cassian did.

one year, six months and one week after

Nesta had woken up that morning with a dry throat. She'd gotten up, washed and dressed, and got into her car, driving out of the Archeron's driveway without so much as a hint of panic. She had driven for hours, dulled by pain and sorrow. When her mother had told her when she was sixteen that heartbreak wasn't easily mended, Nesta hadn't believed her. How was it possible for a person to be so foolishly taken in by someone that they felt so bad when they left you? It was too idiotic a concept for her to comprehend. She would never let someone get so attached to her that she would rip a piece of her heart out when they left.

God how wrong she'd been.

She hadn't seen Cassian in over a month and each day seemed worse than the last.

It was a different pain from the one she'd felt when her mother had died, but no less strong. No less heartbreaking.

She'd gotten her license only a week before and had driven so many hours since she'd had that stupid piece of paper in her hands.

Cassian had known. Cassian had known that she was going to have her driving test that day. He should have known she'd managed to pass it. It couldn't be any other way.

And she had hoped with every ounce of her being that he would text her. That he would call her and tell her how proud he was of her. Because Nesta hadn't cared about other people.

She hadn't cared that her sisters had prepared a dinner in her honour and that her father had almost cried when she announced that she had made it. She hadn't cared that her friends, the old ones she'd managed to regain and the new ones she'd met over the months, had been so happy for her that they'd given her half the gadgets that now hung in her car.

She hadn't cared about anything except what Cassian would think about seeing her driving the car alone, without his hand on her leg.

She'd driven past his house so many times, crying silently.

She'd visited all the places they'd been, that he'd taken her to when she'd been on the verge of breaking down each time.

Cassian had known her like no one else ever had, and that would never change.

Her mother had even told her once that breakups were easier when they happened because people stopped being in love. Nesta hadn't believed that either. Because how could it be less painful when you stopped loving someone, compared to when they wronged you and gave you a reason to leave? How could it be less painful when every little thing the other person did was no longer nice or lovable, but unbearable and irritating?

But Nesta hadn't stopped loving Cassian and never would. She hadn't stopped feeling the butterflies in her stomach fluttering every time he smiled at her when she woke up in the morning. She hadn't stopped loving the way he tied his hair back with whatever was in his hands in that moment. She hadn't stopped loving the way the lines of his tattoos coiled around his arms, his pecs.

She didn't realise she was heading for his house again, but when she found herself in front of it, she didn't carry on as she always did, she turned off the car and got out.

She was looking at the sidewalk, hesitant to take a step forward or get back in the car and run, never to return. To leave Velaris, to leave her mother and her family, to leave the university and rebuild her life in a city that wasn't made of memories and ghosts that haunted her everywhere she went.

Leaving Cassian.

She looked up at the house then, and took a breath. Two. Three.

Breathe with me, he'd told her.

You are not alone.

I love you.

Nesta, you're my soulmate.

One day I'll marry you.

You'll be the mother of my children.

There's no one else for me.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what I would do if you left.

Nesta took another steadying breath and stepped forward.

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protection-of-the-peaky-blinders · 3 years

Text

A Peaky Christmas Day (Tommy x Reader)

Title: A Peaky Christmas Day Summary: Tommy asks you to spend Christmas Day with him. Tommy finds you wandering the snowy streets on Christmas Morning. Asks you to spend Christmas Day with him. Words: 3,372 | Part 1 of 2 Warnings: Trigger Warnings for mentions of Domestic Abuse, Alcohol abuse, Rape, Swearing, She/Her Pronouns Author’s Note: To the Anon that suggested this, I was already writing something similar so I hope you don’t mind me adding in some tragic backstory. Part 1 of 2. Part 2 more focused on Christmas Day Fluff. It’s my first Tommy Shelby Fanfic so if he’s out of character, I profusely apologise.

Christmas Day. Merry Christmas. 𝑀𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦.

You couldn’t recall a time where Christmas was ever ‘merry’ for you. Your father was always drunk, using the excuse that he was drinking ‘Santa’s whisky since it’s Christmas after all’, and his drunkenness was often taken out on you. The more he drank, the worse it became for you. Which is why you prefer to stay home and ensure he has meals throughout the day, try and soak up some of the alcohol, and try and distract him from consuming too much, lest it become far worse than things thrown at you.

Christmas Eve had been the start of your problems. You weren’t aware your Dad had gone out drinking at the pub until he came home and gotten handsy with you. Luckily you were able to shoo him off with the excuse of you cooking dinner and he needed to take a shower. But this didn’t last as long as you hoped. You managed to get him to eat something but your night went downhill from there.

Had you given Tommy Shelby permission from another time prior, your Father wouldn’t have lived to have seen Christmas Day. At the moment, you regretted protecting your Dad against the Peaky Blinder. For some reason, Tommy stepped down and respected your wishes. You were grateful. But you knew that Tommy knew your Dad can be extremely abusive when under the influence.

Christmas morning finally arrived and you were already exhausted. You hadn’t slept. Your Dad keeping you awake between his bouts of drunkenness. You had no safe spot in the house. Your bedroom, which should have been anyone’s general ‘safe spot’ was never respected by him as he quite often came barging in.

He finally passed out in the early morning and that’s when it became too much for you. Still in yesterday’s clothes, though severely crumpled and torn, you left the house in such a state that you blindly walked in the snow for hours. It was still dark, but the sun that was slowly rising had allowed enough light to dimly light the area in a dark blue hue.

You walked and walked. You knew if you stopped and caught your breath, you’d break down like a mad person and you couldn’t do that. You’re not weak. You’re not. Your situation was complicated. You couldn’t leave. You couldn’t disrespect your Mother’s memory by leaving your Dad all on his own. He was still grieving the love of his life. Your Mother had only died a year prior. A few days before Christmas, actually. This year had marked the one-year anniversary. The wounds were still fresh. The first time Tommy found out your Father was abusing you, he wanted to pay your Father a visit. But you stepped in and explained the situation. At first Tommy wasn’t having it, but you begged him to respect the memory of your Mom; a good, kind-hearted, nurturing woman. When he saw you almost breakdown in tears, he stepped down; on the condition that if it gets out of hand, he will do something about it. “You’re protected by the Peaky Blinders now, love.” He had said as he took his cap off and placed it on your head. Far too large for you, but it had you smiling again. And in turn, made him smile softly.

By 7:30 in the morning, the sun had peaked above the rooftop, though hidden behind clouds, it still left enough light to let you know that it’s now daylight. Snow was starting to fall ever so slightly and your h/c hair had lightly begun sprinkled with snow. You would have looked cute with your red nose and cheeks – had the circumstances been different. Your fingers were cold as ice, too, but it didn’t seem to bother you.

-- As always, for Tommy, Business never stopped. Even on Christmas Day. Rising up early with the sun, and before anyone else awoke, Tommy got himself dressed and headed into town where he had a couple of matters to take care of at his office. His family might get annoyed at him but at least it won’t be bugging him throughout the day, playing at the back of his mind and making him irritable company. He almost lost track of time when he dropped his pen and sat back. Taking his pocket watch out from his vest pocket, he flicked it open anad read that it was nearing 8am. Better get a move on. By the time he gets home, the fire should be lit, half his guests should be waking up or arriving. (Some of his family chose to stay the night, others were going to arrive in the morning).

Lighting a cigarette, he made his way out of his office and out of the building, immediately being greeted by snow. Snowing at Christmas was always magical. Or so many believed. It didn’t bother Tommy in the slightest. He wasn’t overly sentimental about Christmas, except for how it brought his family together as normal as they can be; no talk of business, no arguments. Just lots of laughter, chatter and loud teasing. The only person who’s ever cross as Christmas is Aunt Pol when she tells the brothers to settle down; John and Arthur being the rowdiest ones.

Christmas Day was one of very few days where Tommy’s demons don’t weigh heavily on his shoulders, nor hauntingly appear in his eyes. Yes, he’s still quite reserved and prefers to quietly observe his family, but he smiles more and joins in the laughter.

It wasn’t long before Tommy was in his car and driving away, wanting to get home before the snow got heavy. His drive home only last a few minutes as he drove out to the edge of town, only to slow down when he saw a woman stumbling on the side. Had it not been for the familiar hair, he would’ve thought it was just some whore who had a bit too much too drink. Clothes were crumpled and torn, hair falling out from the updo it must have been kept in; indicating a wild night no doubt. Such was not the case. Foot placed pressure on the brakes of the car as he carefully slowed it down to avoid skidding on the snow-covered road, ocean blue eyes squinted in concern before murmuring a soft “Fuck.” Under his breath when he realised who it was. The car creaked to a halt as he hastily placed the brakes on, turned the ignition off and swiftly climbed out. “Y/N?” he called out, as he walked over to you, head ducking a little trying to catch a glimpse of your face to give him full confirmation it was you. You stopped in your tracks when you heard your name being called by a familiar voice. It was comforting. Too comforting. Because the minute you stopped and looked up to see the clearly concerned look of Thomas Shelby walking over to you, you crumbled. Your features crumpled as distraught washed over you, and he made it in time to catch you against his chest as you cried. “Aright…” he murmured as he braced himself to catch your weight, “Alright, love. It’s alright. I’ve got you.”

Arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you firmly against him as your body trembled violently from each sob that tore from your chest. He’s never seen you cry. Never heard you cry. Never knew someone could cry as painfully as you. He didn’t need to ask too many questions about what happened. He knew getting an answer out of you now would be hopeless, so he’d wait until you calmed down a little more. But knowing your situation at home, and your dishevelled appearance, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. One hand left your back and curled in the locks of your h/c strands, the other hand remaining on your back and holding your protectively against him. Each sob that tore out from you had you struggling to breath, gasping between each cry. Being out in the cold climate probably didn’t help either, with the snow already starting to fall. “Shh…shh, shh… come on, hey, come on...” you heard him hushing you firmly. Probably to most people it might sound as though he was annoyed because of the tone of his voice, but you knew there was concern that filtered through that gravelly voice. “You’re safe now, eh? You’re safe.” Cold, ocean blue eyes glanced around as he held you; snowfall was beginning to cover things like a white blanket and he needed to get you out of the cold. A few people were still walking around in the distance behind them, but apart from that, it seemed like it was just you two being the daft ones still outside in the cold. Your painful cries tugging at his heartstrings, making him want to murder the fucking bastard that did this to you; family or not. The only thing stopping him from spreading more red at Christmas was you. There was no way in hell he could leave you in such a state. Your father can wait. But he WILL pay. Tommy will NOT let this slide. He continued to hold you until you calmed down, his patience with you was commendable, but it’s one thing you needed was patience and understanding. Your situation was … delicate. Fragile. He certainly didn’t want to fuck anything up with you. Except for your Dad. But that was a given. When your cries had quietened, you dared not look at him, knowing your face was a complete mess. You felt him let go of you, and for some reason you thought he was disgusted by you. Something you feared would always happen if a situation like this occurred; where you were painted dirty. A whimper of fear left your throat and you stumbled back in your footing. Letting you go, Tommy had quickly shrugged out of his jacket to place it over your shoulders, give you some warmth because it was hard to miss how frozen you felt against him. He missed the whimper that came from you, thinking it was just a noise of distraught and nothing more. The same with the stumbling of your footing, thinking it was your exhaustion creeping in. Not once did he ever consider your dirty or disgusting, the word ‘whore’, a word you feared you’d be seen as because of your Dad, never once occurred to him when he’s with you. Or thinking of you. Quickly draping the heavy coat around your shoulders, he was quick to wrap his around you again. “Y/N!” he murmured before his other came around you to hold you up in case you buckled completely. “I’ll take you back to mine, eh? Sit you by the fire and get you warmed up. And then we’ll talk.” “But it’s Christmas.” You murmured though your voice croaky from the distraught outburst you had only moments ago. “You’re spending Christmas with me. Alright?” It’s not like you had much of a choice in the matter. When Tommy formulates plans, he sticks to them. The only time he wavers is if you’re legitimately uncomfortable about it but that’s never been an issue with Tommy. “…but my Dad…” you asked, letting the question go only for Tommy to sternly answer back, “Will be dealt with. Let’s get out of the cold before you get sick. Come on.” Arms stayed around you, right arm draped around the middle of your back, left hand cupping your elbow as an added means of security. Tommy guided you back to his car, his own body acting as both a shield and grounding point for you. Your frozen hands clutched at the thick fabric of his coat and wrapped it shut against your chest, shivering beneath it when your body finally discovered the sense of warmth and you only begun to realise how cold you actually were. Opening the passenger door for you, Tommy waited a moment for you to climb in before closing it. Blue eyes surveyed the area once more, either for prying eyes, any signs of her Father, and also simply out of slightly paranoid habit. You let out a shaky sigh as you leaned back against the seat. Your legs flopping to the side as all the strength that kept you going suddenly left you. The exhaustion finally caught up and was threatening to pull you under, but you kept your eyes open. The coat didn’t help with the comfort it provided; warmth and smelling of smoke and cologne; Tommy’s signature scent. You jerked slightly as the driver’s door opened and Tommy sat down, slamming the door shut. He didn’t speak for a moment, eyes gazing straight ahead out the window. “He put his hands on you, didn’t he?” You licked your lips in nervousness, knowing there was no point in lying to him. He already knew the answer, just wanted the truth confirmed before he decided to carry out whatever plan he was currently formulating in his mind. “Tommy…” “Answer the question Y/N. Did he place his hands on you?” His voice was low. Calm. A hint of danger behind his voice but he kept it soft but firm for you. “…Yes…” you breathed quietly, Tommy already able to hear the tears in your voice. “Fuck.” He murmured beneath his breath as straightened himself up to start the car. “He did that too.” Your voice hitching as you admitted to the worst of what your Father did to you, making Tommy pause in his actions and drop his hands. He finally looked over at you to see you curled up, looking small and fragile. Tears already falling from your E/C orbs again, though you weren’t outwardly crying. Just seemed as though you didn’t even realise you were crying at all. His heart broke for the pain you’re in; this soft, beautiful woman, broken by a man she’s meant to trust and be loved by. His heart angered by the fact that he wanted to protect you, made a personal oath to protect you and had failed to do so. He didn’t even want to think what would have happened to you today had he not found you. “He will be dealt with, Y/N.” he repeated himself firmly, with authority. If you were going to argue against him, you would not win. His decision was final this time. Blue eyes bored into yours “I want to make that very clear.” You weren’t afraid of him, but you were afraid of what he’d do. But you knew your Father went too far. You had no fight left in you to protect or defend him. “…By order of the Peaky Blinders?” Grabbing his cap, he yanked it off and flopped it against your head, the way he did it during one of many moments that looked like you both were an official couple but at the same time, nothing had yet officiated it (by means of a kiss or something typical that officially seals a relationship). “By order of the Peaky Blinders.” He murmured back, pulling the cap down slightly to hide your face. Fuck. He’ll never forgive himself for not being there to protect you. But then, he’d have risked you never forgiving him if he broke his promise and acted on it sooner. It doesn’t matter. He can’t change the past. He’s got you now. Safe. By his side. Safest place for you to be. He’ll take you home, get you warmed up and settled in. Reintroduce you to the family since you’ve only met them briefly a few times before; Tommy wanting to keep you away from a lot of the shit that goes on, not wanting you to get caught up in it all. He’d call a family meeting at some point and give the order for tomorrow. It's boxing day after all, what better way to celebrate than by boxing the fucker’s head in eh?

That was his plan. For the most part of today, he just wanted you to feel safe and comfortable, and to place a smile on your face. At least he’d be able to give you your Christmas present. Perhaps not in the way he imagined to present you with it since you’re in a fragile state and he dare not risk jeopardising anything. But at least he was able to do it on the day that mattered most.

You didn’t bother adjust the cap that was a bit too big for your head. You hummed softly in response but nothing further was said from either of you. Tommy finally tore his eyes from yours and began to put the car into motion. It wasn’t too long before you were lulled to sleep by the leisurely motion of the car and the hum of the motor acting as white noise. With Tommy being silent and not conversing with you didn’t help, but certainly the lack of sleep you were currently suffering with was the key factor as to why you fell asleep within minutes. Tommy glanced over to you when he noticed you had gone quiet, no sound of sniffling or shaky little intakes of breaths. His concern was quelled when he realised you were asleep, and purposefully took the longer route home, slowing down over some of the bumpier paths to avoid waking you. It was the least he could do for you in your current state. Getting you home and warmed up was a priority, but he couldn’t recall a time he’s ever seen you asleep. You looked peaceful. Angelic. As if you didn’t suffer a horrendous ordeal that last throughout the night until the early hours of the morning. He didn’t want to break the peace you had with sleep, so he let you be as long as he could. You honestly felt like you had barely gotten any sleep when you were being shaken awake only seconds later (Tommy had managed to stretch the drive close to half an hour). In your disorientated state, your eyes snapped open and you immediately fought against the hands that were on you. Your whimpers being the first noise to come from you, only to be hushed by a gravelly voice, “Hey, hey, Y/N! Y/N! Its just me. Just Tommy. Yeah?” Between fighting him off, he managed to catch your wrists and hold them steady from attacking him, but when you came to your senses, eyes wide with fear and your chest rising with each breath, your hands went limp in his hold. “Tommy?” “Yeah.” “Oh god…” “It’s alright. Hey…look at me. It’s alright. Just me. You’re safe now. You’re safe.” Blue eyes never left yours as he waited for you to calm down. Letting go of your wrists, he pulled away just a little bit to give you space in case you needed it. He offered his hand for you to take in case you needed physical reassurance. He wasn’t sure how best to help you right now, so he wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t take his hand. But you did. “God, I’m so sorry.” You apologised once you found your voice and your bearings. Bringing your hand to his lips, he softly kissed the back of your hand, “Don’t be.”

He bit back words of anger hurled at your Father for making you feel this way, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. You didn’t need to deal with Tommy’s anger.

“Now come on, eh? Let’s get you inside. Warmed up by the fire. Cup of tea. Spend Christmas Day with me.”

Ocean blue eyes that held so much anger and danger, was staring at you with nothing but softness, adoration and a fierce protectiveness. He lifted the back of your hand to his lips and gave it another tender kiss, making your lips curl up into a smile. “That’s my girl.” It was the first time you smiled since he found you, and fuck how it made his heart flutter. Especially when you ducked your head in shyness but not before he spotted the hint of blush dusting your cheeks, making him chuckle ever so slightly. || Tag list: @captivatedbycillianmurphy

#tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby comfort #tommy shelby christmas #thomas shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby comfort #thomas shelby imagines #thomas shelby christmas #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders fanfiction #by protection of the peaky blinders #thomas shelby hurt comfort #tommy shelby hurt comfort

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prose-for-hire · 3 years

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What’s a soul without it’s mate?

Part one

Pairing: Willow x vamp!reader

Request: Mostly requested by myself and a kind and encouraging anon for a sequel to ‘a lie taken to the grave’

A/N: I like a reader with a bit of a backstory/personality. Mention of past Bangel. You guys seemed to like the first part, so I hope the second part is just as enjoyable 🖤💖

You had tried not to wait outside her house like some kind of monster. Like this obsessive creature of the night she had no doubt pictured you as in her mind. But not checking on her, making sure she was safe, was hard. You had tried to speak to her earlier but she was now heavily guarded by her friends at all times, especially after dark.

You had come to speak to her, not just stand around like some lovesick fool. Like the lovesick fool you were for her.

You would have to act, there was no other way. To stand even another minute without her love would be enough to suck the very soul from your body.

You looked up at her window. The light was on. Flickering. Your last ember of hope.

You nodded, resolving you had to see her. Get on your knees if you must. This love was too great. You jumped up to the balcony of her room. Easily spanning the gate and stepping onto the cold concrete under your feet. You paused, only for a moment. Eyes closing, a silent prayer. Not that anybody took heed to yours anymore.

But you were willing to try anything. For her.

“Willow? Oh, sweet Willow, please be home” You whispered, tapping on the door to her balcony.

She opened her blinds, almost instantly. As if she had sensed you there. Her face trying so desperately to be unmoving. To not give away how hard this was for her.

Your heart rose and sank in the same moment. Her face was puffy, she had been crying. Because of you.

She opened the doors to the balcony, allowing her to hear you speak.

“Please, my love? Uh, ‘hear me out’ as they say…”

“Y/n, I’ve read about you, about the people you used to, um, hang out with” Willow warned you, trying to hide the waver in her voice. The fact that she wanted to collapse back into your arms.

“I was young, and foolish. I had not yet learned of love. Of you” You insisted, “How can I prove I never meant you any harm?” You said softly. Your hand slid into hers and she began to soften, her face kind and seemingly ready to make up. You wished to hear about her college work and about the hijinks with her little human friends. She wanted to hear about your life, your history. About how you coped, spent your time.

But all too quickly she snapped her hand away. Removing those possibilities. For tonight, at least.

“Th-this isn’t fair, Y/n. With the pleading and the softness and the… you” She almost crumbled at the end but shook herself in resolve. She clambered onto the balcony to face you, her sweet nature giving you more of a chance than you deserved.

“I take it all back, Willow. I would in a single heartbeat” You rushed these words, you needed her to understand. That it was the single biggest regret in any of your lives.

“B-but you don’t do you?”

“Of course I w-”

“No. You don’t have a heartbeat” Willow said slowly, tears beginning to stream down her face as she shook her head at you. That pout that turns into a grimace when she cries almost broke you into pieces. She felt stupid, as if you had played a game.

Her reaction was physically painful. You were sure you would be ash and dust before sunrise one way or another. Whether by her words or actions.

“Dear, sweet Willow. You have my word, I did not wish to harm-”

“You can’t just do this! You- you lied! That’s big, bigger than big - it’s massive!” She exploded, using her hands as she spoke. You had always found it endearing when she got worked up, but never over something you had done to her. It made you sad, you could have wept freely.

“My love, I apologise. I am laid bare for you, can you not see? I would walk into the sunlight myself, wait for dawn to toss my ashes asunder for what I have done to you. Back to where I belong. The hell that was, that is, when you are not near...” You voice cracked with emotion, your eyes pleading with every intake of unneeded breath.

She shook her head, tears dripping down her neck. You averted your gaze though, less she thought you were thinking something you wouldn’t. Never without her permission, anyway.

She sniffed, managing to look at your face. She had fallen for you so deeply. Your soft touch. Understanding nature. The way you spoke. So lyrical. But so obviously not from this time. How had she missed this?

You took this sign. Her wanting to look at you again. This one shred of hope she had afforded since you appeared to her that her heart may thaw for you. That you may win her favour in some way.

“Y-you mean that? I mean all of that… to you?” She whispered it. She had been unsure of your intentions. Which, you understood. It was natural.

You nodded, of course. You stepped towards her, tentatively at first. But with more confidence when she did not flinch away.

You moved your cold hands to caress her cheeks. Cupping them softly. She closed her eyes at the action and it made tears begin to creep up behind your eyes. Stinging and pushing against the back of your eyeballs. It was painful, this feeling. That once this dam would break it may be over. You couldn’t mourn something that was not yet dead. This was forever, to you. You had only ever felt alive when she was around.

Even now, feeling her skin under yours. It warmed you. Gave you hope.

“I need more time, y/n” she sighed, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

“It has been a week, my love...” you said softly but she was unmoving, except for stepping reluctantly from your touch. She meant it and she could be stubborn, you adored this about her. She backed away, her eyes on you before she slipped back into her room.

Leaving you out on the balcony alone. The darkness and sorrow caressing your broken heart.

It had been months and your heart began to wither as you had spent so much time away from her. An acquaintance of yours had arrived back in Sunnydale and you had convinced him to go for a drink with you. Neither of you fit in with the other vampires and so you had bonded for decades over this.

He chose the Bronze, neither of you were welcome in any demon bar. Both of you had souls. His, cursed upon him and yours transferred after you showed goodness even when you were pure demon.

You made a correct choice, one of mercy despite you not having a soul. Which meant that a coven took pity on you, wanted to allow you to experience something closer to humanity.

It was a gift, your soul. In name, not necessarily in practice. It gave you so much guilt. You still struggled to come to terms with. But you would rather this than be who you once had been.

You and he had bumped into each other every decade or so, catching up and sometimes at odds depending where in the soul-cycle either of you were. He was probably the only person you would dare call a friend although many people did not even know that you were acquainted. Angel gave you an understanding smile as you sat beside him, sliding a drink towards him.

“How have you been?”

“You know…”

“Oh yeah” He muttered in agreement. He knew exactly how you had been. The same as him. And, this was where the conversation died. It was a comfortable silence between you both but filled with your own regrets and horrors twisting through your mind. You sat there, nursing your drinks in silence for a long while.

Angel had returned from LA and wasn’t sure if seeing Buffy would be a good idea. But he ached for her. To see her. Talk to her, even for a moment. You tried to offer some comfort, told him that if the powers wanted them to be together one day they would find a way.

He nodded, knowing that this was all you could offer. Both of you knew better than to cling to false hope after everything you had seen. And done.

“You and Willow then? When did this happen? I would’ve thought you’d learn from my mistakes” He said, knowing you needed to talk about it. You both shared a humourless laugh at his words before you tried to explain it.

“She is… everything.” You breathed, glassy eyed.

Your voice speaking from the soul. The soul that was now in a constant despair. For what was a soul without it’s mate?

Without her, it all felt meaningless to you. All of it.

“We found each other, in here actually. She had joked that I was ‘too cool’ for the Bronze and I took offence. I believed she was calling me cold-hearted, or worse, a vampire.” You continued.

“They speak so differently from when we lived” Angel nodded in agreement, although he had at least assimilated better than you had. You kind of missed his Irish accent, but you did not miss the demon that came with it.

“She found my grave, I had never told her that I had died. I fell for her, completely and couldn’t find a way to explain. I hate it, it’s one of the worst things I have done. Her poor, sweet, heart”

Angel didn’t mention that he had seen you killing and torturing people before, which might have been a regret worth thinking about over lying to Willow. But he understood, you had never had an attachment like this. Your love for her was pure. Probably the only part of you that had not been touched by the demon was your love for her.

So, you had clung to it. Selfishly.

As you spoke, Willow and her friends had arrived at the bar. Both you and Angel sensed it and shared a look. Your respective lost loves were walking towards the bar. Your hearts breaking over and over with every footstep it took them to get there.

You both shifted uncomfortably, noticing that their eyes were on you. Anya had announced that you were both there. Apparently, they all knew your face now. Probably because you were enemy number one.

After some drinking and some talking that you and angel pretended you couldn’t hear, Willow shakily got to her feet and walked towards you both. Her eyes the entire night had only been on you and so when she got up to the table she only just noticed who you were sat with.

“Oh, uh, hi Angel” Willow did a little wave before turning back to you, “Y/n, we should talk”

Angel nodded, muttering his good luck to you. It was so quiet that it was only detectable to you, so you nodded subtly and heard him leave. All of this happening without Willow noticing. She was taking a deep breath, trying to categorise and re-categorise her thoughts. Sort through what she wanted to say.

“What you did, it was wrong” You opened your mouth to speak but she shook her head to stop you and you instantly complied, “But I-I understand. You had so many chances where you could have hurt me or Buffy. I was kinda scared that you only wanted to be with me so that you could get to slay the slayer and-”

“Never” You breathed solemnly. You could care less for the slayer, apart from of course gratitude for her saving the world and your Willow.

“- I didn’t get why you would want me for… me” She admitted, taking your hand in hers, “I don’t wanna be apart anymore, Y/n. I miss you so much”

“You mean it!?” Your eyes danced, smile widening more than it ever had. You were overjoyed. To be cast in such favourable light. Nothing mattered unless she was with you. Loving you as you loved her.

She nodded, smiling. Both of your eyes reflected a glassy delight in the others. This felt right. You and her. Together.

You leaned in, pressing the lightest kiss to her lips. It was chaste, sincere. Not willing to pressure her into a deeper kiss less she be snatched from your side again. Her lips grazed yours and you finally felt that breath of life you had been sadly missing since she had left.

“Come home with me” She whispered as you both pulled back. Your eyes lit up, you had been fearful that she would never

But her home was yours, she had always felt this way. She didn’t want to waste anymore time. She just wanted you.

She slipped her hand back into yours and led you, weaving between the crowds. The two of you against the world. How it should be.

All was well in the world again.

#Willow Rosenberg #Willow #Willow x reader #Willow Rosenberg x reader #Willow Rosenberg x you #Willow Rosenberg imagine #Willow imagine #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs x you #btvs imagines #btvs imagine #vampire reader #vampire #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gender not mentioned

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turtle-paced · 3 years

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A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Well, not quite on the long weekend, but here’s the recap anyway.

Book 1, Chapter 6 - Imprisoned

(0:55) Previously, on Avatar, the Water Tribes know what it’s like to be stuck at the ass end of the world slowly dying, but Katara’s hope is actually inspiring and she and Sokka found the Avatar for a reason. It’s going to be a Katara-centric episode. The group is still heading to the North Pole, while Zuko continues chasing them.

(1:45) We’re out of the snow! It’s still winter (seeing as the next episode is titled ‘The Winter Solstice’), but yeah. No snow. At the very least, this area’s warm enough that snow isn’t an all-winter condition.

(2:02) This is what I mean by the show bringing up supplies when they’re an issue. Note that Sokka doesn’t actually know what any of these nuts are. He hasn’t spent enough time in the Earth Kingdom to know what’s edible.

(2:48) The character contrast in two nutshells. Aang and Katara run towards the loud booming noises in the forest, Sokka advises hanging back (but goes with the majority). Then, when they find Haru, Aang and Katara want to make friends, but Sokka says he looks dangerous so they should be cautious. It’s a joke, mostly at Sokka’s expense, but it’s also consistent characterisation that helps give Sokka an important role in the team even when he’s outshone by ridiculous amounts in the direct combat department. He thinks very differently in some ways to his sister and his friends. This is sometimes unhelpful and sometimes downright necessary for the characters collectively to succeed. Today is an unhelpful day.

(2:56) Upon seeing Katara, the practicing earthbender drops everything and runs, going so far as to block pursuit. No questions, no chances, just immediate flight. Weird reaction, hey?

(3:06) Aang says that Haru must be running somewhere. Like a village. Which should have a market. Like I said back in episode one, every main character is smart. Showing it in these tiny, low-stakes, incidental conversations makes it believeable when they do big, dramatic smart things.

(3:21) Pan over this Earth Kingdom village. It’s pretty different to Kyoshi Island, and honestly looks a fair bit more prosperous. Earthbending means this village has got a very neat-looking mine and that building a wall around town isn’t a big deal. Interestingly, most building here are made of wood, or at least significantly involve wood in their construction (lintels, structural beams, doors, floors, I think even the rooftops).

(3:40) We get Haru’s name here as Katara spots him and follows him into his mother’s store.

(3:55) As soon as Aang says ‘earthbending’, Haru’s mother slams the doors and windows closed. Until now, the gAang has only travelled in free territory. Scared, paranoid territory, but free territory. This episode is a quick and brutal look at life in an occupied Earth Kingdom village. There’s a lot of fear here.

(4:09) Right on cue, Fire Nation soldiers drop by. The taxes they’re collecting are extortionate and their schedule for payment is arbitrary. The occupying force is taking financially and using this as a terror tactic. This becomes more explicit as the soldier says “we wouldn’t want an accident, would we?” and creates a fireball in his hands.

(4:58) Love the worldbuilding on this show. Why’s the Fire Nation here? Sokka asks, and Haru’s mother has an answer. Turns out all those coal-fired ships the Fire Nation uses? They need coal. The village is being exploited for its natural resources, too.

(5:09) Katara asks why Haru doesn’t help fight back, as he so clearly wants to. Especially since it means not bending, which she says is part of who she is. Haru’s mother explains that Haru would be arrested and taken from the village for earthbending (hold on to the information that the walls and mine are clearly products of earthbending), just like Haru’s father was. So let’s add some deeply personal and cultural oppression to the list of things going on here.

It’s also a tough lesson that resisting the Fire Nation in places like this isn’t as simple as saying “fight back.” There are serious risks involved.

(5:43) More panning over Earth Kingdom scenery. Vegetable patches and a silo can be seen. Little visual touches to remind the viewer that these background characters were in this place before the story arrived there, and will continue on offscreen once the story leaves. It helps make the world feel real.

(6:08) Katara and Haru go off and bond. Katara apologises for accidentally bringing up any hurt related to Haru’s father, ‘cause she’s a good, considerate person.

(6:18) Haru tells Katara how brave his father was to resist the Fire Nation invasion, against what odds. After which Haru’s father was taken away, and his family haven’t seen him since. The only way Haru can feel close to his father is by practicing earthbending, which also puts him in danger.

The entire backstory here gets into the big issues - invasion, mass internment, cultural oppression - by linking it with the much smaller slice of life. Just Haru, missing his father.

(6:48) Katara gives the exposition on her necklace, the last memento she has of her mother. The conversation leaves off pretty brutally as well. “It’s not enough, is it?” “No.” And that’s it. There’s only acknowledgement of their mutual pains, not closure. There’s not enough. There’s a hole there that cannot be filled.

(7:05) As Katara and Haru head back, they pass the mine collapsing. What happens when an earthbender-produced mine has to operate without earthbenders? It seems very likely to me that earthbending is a major part of mining safety and maintenance in Avatar world, and the removal of earthbenders from town would logically result in more mine collapses and accidents.

(7:32) Haru bravely earthbends to rescue the old man from the mine collapse.

(7:59) One of the really nice things about Aang? He’s impressed by Katara’s accomplishments, even one as small as inspiring Haru to his own little rebellion.

(8:12) Sokka brings up that point from back in 1.04 that if they hang around a village (especially an occupied village) they’re going to be in trouble. They have to keep moving. Continuity! Learning the lessons of previous episodes!

(8:41) Fire Nation soldiers show up in the dead of night to arrest Haru for earthbending, on the information of the old Earth Kingdom man Haru saved. Informants and midnight arrests - it’s a freaking scary depiction of life under occupation. Not to mention the moral texture it brings to the series. The Fire Nation is inarguably wrong and oppressive. But that doesn’t make the people of the Earth Kingdom saints. Individuals have a range of responses to the Fire Nation, and here we see it’s up to and including willing collaboration with their oppressors. We’re never going to see this old man again. He never gets any on-screen comeuppance. He never gets told he was wrong. This is just a lesson for the main characters.

The show’s worked up to this idea, with the hostility of the Kyoshi Islanders and Bumi placing the gAang under arrest. Now it’s serious. The characters can’t assume that Earth Kingdom people will be on their side.

And this ultimately leads up to the point that this conflict isn’t about one nation being inherently bad and the others being inherently good.

(8:56) Love to see some mundane uses of bending - in this case, Katara doesn’t bother actually pumping water, she just yanks it out of the pump.

(9:23) And a nice thing about Sokka - when he sees Katara is upset, he moves to comfort her physically. However, also notice what Sokka actually says. Part of his idea of comforting Katara is working on solutions to the external problem, working out what happened and what they might be able to do about it. It’s very pragmatic and not very touchy-feely. While it comes with the best of intentions, and Katara doesn’t even have to ask for Sokka’s support and assistance, you can see where Katara might want a friend who’s a little more emotionally supportive. Different people fill different roles.

(9:31) But on to the main event! Katara’s got a plan to break Haru out of Fire Nation prison. Thus far Katara’s been strong and capable, and particularly impressive in how she’s dealt with a grief-stricken Aang. This marks her first opportunity to take up the foremost heroic role in an episode. She’s making the plans, she’s driving the action, she’s saving the day. It starts with her getting arrested for earthbending.

(9:49) A team plan! Katara had the basic idea of using airbending to simulate earthbending, but it looks to me like Sokka did the actual engineering of finding the vents that connect, while Aang’s going to be doing the actual bending. This is also a classic example of how Sokka’s character development is going to go over the course of the series and the reason he’s such an important part of the team. He puts the details into the big ideas.

(9:55) And here’s Aang’s fun-loving, lighthearted nature shown as a flaw rather than a virtue (in a fairly comedic, low-ish stakes kind of way) before the serious long-term implications become most apparent in season three. He’s goofing off and not taking responsibility for his part in this plan. Later, when Aang doesn’t want to find a firebending teacher and doesn’t want to think about how he’s planning to deal with Ozai, that’s perfectly believeable. We’ve seen him skip out on small details, so we can believe Aang would skip out on the big ones.

Furthermore, in character and plot terms, the character trait that’s a minor hiccup in the plan this episode causes serious problems later, and yet remains an important strength in other episodes (and across those episodes in how Aang actually keeps moving forward). There’s nuance there in Aang’s character, and nuance in the plots that recognise that things aren’t usually as simple as ‘this character trait good, that character trait bad’.

(10:18) This entire scene gives me the giggles so bad, starting with this Fire Nation soldier’s bemused reaction. Earthbending style.

(11:17) The group exchanges a bunch of anxious looks. Despite the comic nature of the faked fight, they did just arrange for Katara to get arrested by the Fire Nation and hauled off to a prison for dissidents. This is serious stuff.

(11:30) Cut to a port, and Katara on a boat. Nobody seems surprised that the prison is offshore.

(12:15) Cameo from George Takei here, hamming it up.

(12:41) The faux affability of the welcoming is shown by the Warden’s willingness to use fire on a prisoner when the prisoner simply coughs. Followed by condemning the man to a week of solitary imprisonment. Also worth noting that the Warden is completely unfazed by the presence of a young teenager amongst the prisoners.

(13:05) The Warden helpfully points out that the rig is made entirely of metal, which earthbenders cannot affect with their powers. (At this point in the series.) It brings a pretty significant limitation of earthbending to the table in a series set just as their world’s industrial revolution is going global.

It’s also a good indication of how hard imprisoning a bender is. This rig must be absolutely brutal to live on, for the guards as well as the prisoners. It couldn’t have been cheap to build, either. I’ll come back to the topic of criminal justice and bending ability later in the series, but for now just keep in mind that prison for benders a) requires cruel conditions and b) is logistically burdensome to say the least.

(13:16) The Warden also describes earthbending as ‘brutish savagery’, so here’s some fire supremacy for you all! Again, the big thing - the Fire Nation taking over the world and thinking that’s okay - is reflected in the little thing, a Fire Nation character casually dismisssing any worth in earthbending (when we just a few minutes ago heard Haru speak about how important it was to his family bonds).

(13:47) Katara looks over the prisoners and sees a lot of people in absolute despair. Keep an eye out for female prisoners. I keep raising this background detail thing because it tells you how the writers and animators are thinking about the “normal” state of the world.

(13:52) A nice touch from a design standpoint is that Haru is about the only person wearing a deep, living green, rather than the prisoner brown/grey/very dried-out green combination.

(14:11) Haru did at least succeed in finding his father, Tyro.

(14:29) This exchange does nicely to set up Tyro as a kind individual whose sense of humour has not been totally eradicated by the situation he’s in.

(14:52) Tyro tells Katara that there’s no escape plan, only a survival plan.

(14:58) There are some female prisoners in this shot! Which is evidence of female earthbenders, even though we still don’t see very many in the rest of the series.

(15:14) Much like in town, Katara is reminded that things aren’t necessarily so simple as “fight back”. She’s talking to people who have been dealing with the Fire Nation, unsuccessfully, for years. What does fighting back look like to these people, after all this time? What do they stand to lose?

(15:21) I do love this exchange. Tyro says, “I’m sorry, but we’re powerless,” and Katara replies, “We’ll see about that.” What she wants and what she aims to achieve is to give the prisoners here their power back. She’s trying to help them to help themselves. Even though this speech doesn’t work. Very eloquent for an impromptu speech, too.

(16:44) Aang and Sokka arrive to provide backup.

(17:01) Katara refuses to leave the prison until she’s accomplished her objective. She emphasises that it’s the people she’s not giving up on. For all her character development over the series, this trait stays exactly the same, arguably the very core of her character.

(17:30) We get the split in group opinion again. Katara and Aang want to stay and help, Sokka wants to leave. Outvoted, and aware that he’s not going to overcome Katara’s stubbornness on this point, Sokka says they’d better hide.

(17:48) Two guards report an Appa sighting to the Warden. This is actually a really good drawback to the convenience of having a flying bison, narratively - he’s just not all that inconspicuous.

(18:06) The Warden throws a man overboard for questioning whether the difference between a flying bison or a flying buffalo is all that pertinent. Love this show. I’m also getting serious “do the tides command this ship?” vibe. Only less competent. Though the Warden does have the competence to get the core point that there’s something amiss, and orders a full search of the rig.

(18:42) Aang wishes he knew how to make a hurricane, because then the Warden would run away and the party could just take his keys. Now this is what people mean when they call Aang naive. Note that this wishful thinking from Aang doesn’t involve direct confrontation with the Warden. He wants the problem to go away. It’s not an issue with Aang’s intellect, it’s an issue with Aang’s psychology.

(18:53) Sokka wants to give the earthbenders some literal power. Some literal substance they can bend so that they can free themselves.

(19:08) It’s Aang who points out that earthbenders are able to bend coal, and the Fire Nation keeps coal on the rig. Naive, not stupid!

(19:22) Like I said, Sokka doesn’t often lead the way or deal with the party’s biggest ideas, but he is absolutely unmatched when it comes to making their goals into workable plans. As Katara asks Sokka “are you sure this is going to work?” we can be sure that the details here were Sokka’s doing. Moreover, he’s applied knowledge of vents he picked up earlier in the episode.

It’s also worth noting that Sokka was against staying to rescue the earthbenders and still put his all into coming up with a plan once he was outvoted. He works with Katara and Aang in good faith so that the disagreement doesn’t wreck their teamwork.

(20:02) Once again, Aang provides the muscle as he airbends some staggering quantities of coal onto the deck.

(20:22) Again, quite realistically, the earthbenders are hesitant to take the opportunity Katara’s just provided. The Warden underlines the point that it’s Katara’s inspirational words versus years of oppression and despair. Sure, that is the problem here. Katara tries, and she’s mocked by the villain for trying.

(20:59) But as the lump of coal crashes into the back of the Warden’s head, the show says that Katara was right and the Warden was wrong. Katara’s faith was not misplaced and her words and actions did make a difference here. Even if it sounded silly to start with.

(21:09) Love that the coal actually ignites when hit by fireblasts.

(21:25) Yes, we did see a female earthbender prisoner fighting back there! And I’m still pretty sure that this is one of the vanishingly few occasions we’ll see female earthbenders active in the background of the series.

(21:57) The earthbenders prioritise getting off the rig.

(22:05) Here’s Katara again. This is the first we see her actively participating in this skirmish. She hasn’t actually done much fighting - the point here was always what she could do to empower others to fight. She’s still got her necklace at this point. Notice also Aang’s creative use of airbending to propel small pieces of coal at the Fire Nation soldiers.

(22:33) The earthbenders steal a Fire Nation ship and head back to the mainland. Katara’s lost her necklace in this shot. Haru and Tyro spell out the effect of Katara’s actions.

(23:04) Tyro declares his intention to take back all their villages, which tells us that the prisoners were not from just one place. They must have been brought in from several towns and villages in the general area. Looks like the gAang’s leaving some insurgents behind them, right in Ozai’s coal supply.

(23:26) Haru thanks Katara for her help with that small thing of returning his dad for him, and wishes he could do the same for her. She also realises that she’s lost her mother’s necklace at this point.

(23:35) And who should pick it up but Zuko, who we haven’t seen for almost two whole episodes. Presumably he’s followed a report of Avatar-based shenanigans, and he’s got real sharp eyes to pick out the one Water Tribe thing in all this.

#a:tla #fine toothed comb edition

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imaginethreehouses · 3 years

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Support Summaries III - Chris [Azure Moon]

Here’s a Support Summaries request that I owed from a way, way back! Thank you so much, @beawesome04, for being so kind to me, and I hope you enjoy reading what I wrote. Watch out: Azure Moon spoilers ahead!

💙 Dedue: Chris reveals his Duscurian origins to Dedue, hoping to find a friend and ally in him.

C Support (pre-ts): Dedue scolds Chris for having revaled his secret to him, and tells him that they should never be seen together in public again.

B Support (pre-ts): Chris insists that there is no reason why Dedue should keep a distance from his classmates, given that except for Ingrid, none of them hold prejudiced beliefs. Dedue simply remarks that despite their similar origins, he and Chris have lived very different lives.

A Support (post-ts): Upon Dedue’s unexpected return, Chris apologises for having been condescending to him when they last spoke, confessing that the offense had been weighing heavy on his conscience since they believed him to be dead. Dedue replies that Chris was in part right, and that he hopes there’s still time to develop close friendships with the classmates whose offers he rejected in the past.

“You should keep the secret of your blood to yourself. You know the people of Faerghus don’t look upon the likes of us with kindness in their eyes.”

💙 Ingrid: Chris and Ingrid get along well, but her resentment towards the people of Duscur might put a strain on their bond.

C Support (pre-ts): Chris and Ingrid are quietly conversing while watching the rain. When the topic of the conversation switches to the tragedy of Duscur, Chris has to watch his new friend show her prejudiced side.

B Support (post-ts): Ingrid discovers Chris’ father is Duscurian and apologises to him for the way she has been acting, heartbroken to admit that if she had known of his origins before getting to know him, they might have never become friends.

“I... I feel like an idiot. All this time that we were friends, you had to deal with knowing of the hatred that I harbored for your people. Don’t try telling me it’s fine. My actions have no excuse.”

💙 Ashe: Ashe is ashamed of his fear of ghosts, wishing that he could be more like Chris instead.

C Support (pre-ts): Ashe tries warning Chris of a ghost that is said to only appear when it rains, but quickly becomes embarrassed when Chris simply comments that he and the ghost would get along well.

B Support (pre-ts): Wishing to be more like Chris, Ashe follows him around trying to learn how to get over his fear. Chris tells Ashe that nobody is without fears, and that his time would be better spent looking for ways in which he can play them to his advantage.

“Right..! When you think about it, my fear of ghosts can actually help me be a better knight. I bet there was no one else paying so much attention to the monastery during the last storm. If a living person had tried to launch an attack, I would’ve been the first to spot them, no doubt!”

💙 Annette: For once, Annette is the one to catch someone else singing by themselves.

C Support (pre-ts): Annette is thrilled to have caught Chris singing, letting it slip that her experience has been the opposite so far. When Chris asks to hear one of her songs, Annette tells him that he will have to catch her in the act.

B Support (pre-ts): Chris accidentally catches Annette singing, but makes his presence known before he actually gets to hear any intelligible part of the song. Annette feels bad that she did eavesdrop on Chris singing when she had the chance, so she sings for Chris willingly to make the situation even for them.

“Ugh! How dare you be so respectful..! Now I’m no better than those two other villains..!”

💙 Mercedes: The close relationship Chris has with his sister is a sour reminder to Mercedes of how different things could have been for her and Emile.

C Support (pre-ts): A casual chat over unique fashion choices leads Chris to reveal to Mercedes that he changed homes many times in the past. Mercedes’ understanding answer hints at the same being true for her.

C+ Support (pre-ts): Mercedes confirms Chris’ suspicions, and admits that her childhood was hard. She looks unexpectedly saddened when Chris explains that it was thanks to his older sister that he was able to pull through it all.

B Support (post-ts, unlocks after you defeat the Death Knight): Chris is horrified to learn the backstory behind Mercedes and Emile, and apologises to Mercedes for having brought up a painful topic. Mercedes says he’s not to blame, as the fault is entirely her own for having failed to be a good older sister to Emile.

A Support (post-ts): Chris finds Mercedes still mourning and tells her that he is sure she would have been a great older siter to her brother if the chance hadn’t been robbed from her. Mercedes is moved to hear him admit that he has come to see her as a sort of sister figure in the absence of his own.

“If one day I can see what happened the way that you do... then the weight of this horrible tragedy will be easier to carry, I am sure.”

💙 Dimitri: Much like Dedue, Chris hopes for a bright future for Duscur once Dimitri ascends the throne.

C Support (pre-ts): Dimitri approaches Chris as class representative, asking if there is anything he can do for him. Chris hesitates, but refuses to disclose what he wanted to ask for in the end.

C+ Support (pre-ts): After some gentle pressing, Chris cautiously reveals to Dimitri that he is worried for the people of Duscur. Dimitri promises to Chris that the situation of Duscur will improve once he is king.

B Support (post-ts): Dimitri apologises to Chris for having broken his promise, admitting that his obsession with Edelgard almost caused him to throw away the last chance of a bright future for the people of Faerghus who had put their faith in him. Happy to see Dimitri doing well, Chris tells him that political talks can wait, as in the moment he is only concerned about reuniting with a dear old friend.

“Oh. Is that really how you feel? I am... moved to hear it. But nevertheless, allow me to renew my vow. I swear that this time I will not stray from my path, and I will see my intentions through.”

💙 Felix: Seeing Felix train so hard worries Chris, so he tries to watch over him in the ways that he can.

C Support (pre-ts): Chris catches Felix training alone while he wanders the woods, and offers to be his training partner out of concern that he might be in danger all on his own.

C+ Support (pre-ts): Felix and Chris are sparring, and Felix easily wins. Felix reassures Chris that he will improve quickly if they keep training together, but Chris expresses doubt that it’s healthy to train as often as he does. Felix urges Chris to drop the topic and keep training.

B Support (post-ts, unlocks after Rodrigue’s death): Chris has been looking for Felix and finds him in their training spot, looking like he’s on the verge of collapse. Heartbroken to see the state Felix is in, Chris proposes that they leave Fódlan together, but Felix just lashes out at him, telling him that the idea is stupid and that he should leave him alone.

A/S Support (post-ts): Now in a better mental state, Felix approaches Chris to give a dry apology and tells him with a hard blush across his face that he will take him up on his offer once they’ve won the war.

“My brother and father were both dumb enough to give their lives for the Boar. Sorry. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t let that go to waste.”

💙 Sylvain: Chris doesn’t seem to want to open up to others, so Sylvain steps in to help.

C Support (pre-ts): Sylvain invites Chris to go out with him and some girls, but Chris politely declines. After Chris leaves, Sylvain shows that he’s determined to get Chris to relax and have fun with him sometime.

B Support (post-ts): While having a good time over a shared meal, Sylvain recalls how shy and distant Chris used to be when he first joined the academy, claiming that he should thank him for having brought him out of his shell. When Chris explains that he has always been this way in the company of close friends, Sylvain pouts, but is still happy to hear that Chris sees him as a good friend.

“Aw, why you’d have to tell me that? I was happy thinking the credit was all mine!”

#fe3h #blue lions #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #mercedes von martritz #annette fantine dominic #felix hugo fraldarius #dedue molinaro #ingrid brandl galatea #sylvain jose gautier #ashe ubert #support summaries

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starlightshadowsworld · 3 years

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Give me... (Cinder Fall edition)

Been writing these on RWBY Amino (ShadowQueenAnime) , basically me saying what I'd like to have seen in Canon from different characters. And thought why not post them here 2?

This is my Cinder one (felt appropriate) based on my own headcannons.

Give me Cinder, who did odd jobs to help her family. Who's first strive for power wasn't out of greed, but because the strong are untouchable and if Cinder wanted anything it was for all of them to be safe.

Give me Cinder, who's mother kissed her head and wiped the dirt from her cheeks. A widowed housekeeper for a rich family living in their grimey basement. She takes Cinder to a shrine and tells stories of a woman, their saviour she tells her young girl. A woman locked away who reached ultimate power. It's Cinder's favourite story and that makes her mother smile.

Give me Cinder, who bites her toungue and bowed her head to the Atlas huntsman who laughed and taunted her. One day she promises she'll be the one laughing, her mother chuckles and brushes her hair but doesn't object. She's always had high hopes for her little girl.

Give me Cinder, who grabs a boys hand from where it reached into her pocket and tosses him to the ground. He screams for mercy and she let's him go, he's an orphan as is the younger girl clinging to his leg. Roman and Neo, something about them make Cinder smile.

Give me Cinder, who becomes friends with both of them. Who laughs and pickpockets rich folk and scoffs when Roman calls her a professional. That's what he's gonna be, no doubt about it and Neo will stick by him but Cinder's not sure what she wants to be. She wants to be more than a petty theif.

Give me Cinder, who gifts Roman his trademark hat. Her mother sewed it and she sighed her name inside, the stitching isn't the best but it's shiny and new. Every good theif needs a cool hat and Roman says he'll never take it off. He tackles her into a hug and she pushes him off.

Give me Cinder, who gets into an argument with with the duo. It escalates to the point none of them remember the reason, insults are thrown that sting like ice and they part ways. Cinder feels terrible and wants to apologise, beg for forgiveness but a nasty part of her shuts her up, she'll only apologise if they do first.

Give me Cinder, who spends her days cleaning, selling glass when her mother falls ill. She saves up for medicine and takes care of her, doing anything and everything but it's not enough. Cinder's never felt more powerless in her life, she's scared alone crying by the shrine and begging the saviour for help.

Give me Cinder, who promises to do anything the woman wants to save her mother and doesn't see the smirk underneath. She hugs her mother who's sickness is treated and thanks the woman over and over. But the woman had a price and Cinder has little choice, her mother hugs her tight and kisses her head as her daughter vanishes.

Give me Cinder, who joins Salem out of protecting her mother. Who Salem entices and makes sure to grow her lust for power. She'll be worthy one day, she thinks as tells Cinder a new story. The story of the maidens.

Give me Cinder, who continues to grow under Salem's care and the darkness inside her grows as well. She gets sent out on tasks to test her loyalty and follow Salem's orders and if she fails well Cinder's seen Salem's magic first hand.

Give me Cinder, who goes to the mob to get them to help her get dust and is reunited with Roman and Neo. Neo tackles her to the ground before rapidly signing what they've been up too and Roman laughs, no malice is in the air as if their past encounter never happened. They've all grown up and their paths are once again intertwined. "I see your still wearing the hat, surprised it can fit your giant head."

Give me Cinder, who's found some light in her life but is still under Salem's thumb. She always had a quick temper but she's more darker than before, and there's bruising and scars covering her body. Roman and Neo can never get through to her than maybe being with Salem isn't the best choice but Cinder's in too deep.

Give me Cinder, who looks Amber on the eye as she takes the rest of her power. How the exhilaration of her new power wears off in seconds when the situation hits her. She's killed someone... Without remorse and for what... Salem brands her name Cinder Fall and she hates and loves how it fits. Roman is at her side, Neo not far behind as she sobs the loss of life into their arms.

Give me Cinder, who murdered Ozpin out of fear more than anything else. How she whispered an apology that would never be heard and ran away, because as strong as he was she was never afraid of him. Knowing he'd come back comforts her a bit but she pushes the thought aside.

Give me Cinder, who does care for Mercury and Emerald but she doesn't love them. She cares when they get hurt, applauds them for their achievements but that's all. She hates how Emerald looks at her with adoration, it doesn't make her happy to know she simply picked them up as tools for her goals. She hasn't realised yet that those goals aren't her's.

Give me Cinder, who watches Beacon fall apart and knows its her doing. A nasty part of her is laughing and she's starting to get afraid of it, she wonders what her mother thinks... If she even saw all this. She hears a different voice to her own and thinks she's losing it Salem chuckles and ruffles her hair in a way that once felt find but now it puts her on edge.

Give me Cinder, who argues with Roman who tells her she should get away Salem. She's changed, she's hurting and she's his friend and all he wants is to help her. But she's afraid, she's in too deep and that turns into rage... Until he gets swallowed by a grimm that's promptly destroyed. There's nothing of him that remains, and nothing hurts more. It's all her fault.

Give me Cinder, who's arm and eye are destroyed and she's repaired with grimm. She's strong, makes her arm respect her and tries not to think about how it feels so wrong. Roman's gone, the last thing she ever said was that she hated him and that makes her arm coil around her neck. She forces herself to push down the feelings so she's let go but the tears keep coming. Pyrrha is the voice in her head helping her calm down and she appreciates it but Cinder remarks that she wished the other hated her.

Give me, Cinder who buries her grief and directs all her negative feelings at Ruby. She can't feel pain, can't feel sadness or her grimm arm will attack her for her weakness. She ignores Pyrrha who reprimands her for calling her pain a weakness. She can't handle it, slowly losing her grip on reality and almost snaps back at Salem... Almost.

Give me, Cinder at Heavan who taunts Jaune and makes him attack her. Because she's starting to see just how much of a monster she is, Salem will never let her go...that she's certain. But if she were to fall in battle... And if not it'll get Pyrrha to stop being so kind. She throws a spear at Weiss, but something inside her makes her aim hit her side rather than her chest. Cinder blames Pyrrha but it wasn't her, her grimm arm twitches but stays still for now.

Give me Cinder, who pulls herself up from the icy depths of the water, cursing her existence and crumbling to the ground. Not even her power works and she really wishes that she had just drowned. She's stopped ignoring Pyrrha, she's stuck with her and it's her fault anyway... That and a selfish part of her craves the comfort, the other sets her back onto her feet and Cinder smiles sadly as she steals some clothes from a nearby market...she did afterall learn from the best.

Give me Cinder, who drinks at a nearby bar and hears news about team RWBY. She wonders if there's any point in hunting them, but she knows Salem well enough to know the other knows she isn't gone. Finding them, getting the relic might get her back in her good graces... The idea doesn't tempt her anymore, she sought power and it got her here... Lost in grief with a grimm arm and a missing eye , a run away with no home and sat hiding in a shady bar.

Give me Cinder, who reunites with Neo and freezes at the sight of her hat... His hat. Somehow Neo doesn't blame her and that makes her mad, she taunts her with every insult under the sun because she has to be mad... She has to fight her... Neo simply holds her as she breaks down. Everything feels too much and she just wants to be alone but Neo gives a look that says she ain't going anyway.

Give me Cinder, who makes a half hearted plan to get the relic because if she finds out how to defeat Salem... The thought makes her tingle, afraid but determined and Neo holds back a chuckle, somehow Cinder looks years younger when the trio first met.

Give me Cinder Fall who was moulded into a tool and is falling apart from all the pain.

Give me Cinder Fall who has a backstory that explains how she became this way. Give her motivation, how she wanted to help her mother and a cunning witch answered the call.

Give me Cinder Fall who is worth being a villian (not saying she isn't I just gotta end this dramatically) , tragic or otherwise.

This our Cinder Fall.

#Cinder fall #Give me... Rwby edition #Random #Dumb #Headcannon #Rwby #Cinder #Writing

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arentwelost · 4 years

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reactions to the bnha: heroes rising film

spoilers alert !

(i risked coronavirus to go to the cinema for this but no regrets because we all want to die anyway oof-)

the film was very 1a centred & that’s gr8 and all especially since we got to witness the bond they had between them & just. how incredibly amazing their teamwork is

but i really ,,, miss,,, aizawa (my fave, my tru love)

he had a total of 3 (?) scenes, each of them lasting like less than 10 secs - even toshinori had more scenes than that : (

but you know who even had less screen time (aka none),,, our boy,,, the valid purple son,,,, shinsou hitoshi : (

the person who had the most screen time was this new villain called nine and i really wanna yell begone thot at him because he was like “i want to create a utopia where the powerful rules” and i was like thinking,, yo that shit sounds like capitalism & neoliberalism

his character design was really pretty, but it didn’t make up for his ideology that came outta nowhere with no backstory - so it was really hard to empathise/sympathise

what makes a villain good is 1) sufficient backstory 2) being so damn predictable and familiar that you actually prefer them over every other new villain because better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know

anyway, what really slaps is kacchan’s fuckin character development !!

lil gremlin is still gremlin but ,, he’s working with other kids,, he’s minimising damage done to the area while fighting villains,, there was a scene of him all calm and shit while eavesdropping on izuku and katsuma (which once again proves that most of his anger is just a front he puts up in front of other people rather than a perpetual state, and ya know what, i love that introvertedness that he has),,, him being protective over the bakusquad and not blasting kaminari for teasing him,,, he and izuku fighting together like a hero duo ,,,, eye-

this movie really said bakugo character development hUH

anyway in the beginning when endeavour showed up and dabi and endeavour had this whole showdown with their fire quirks and we got this close up of endeavour’s thicc thighs and i was like : ) we don’t stan for this here but at the same time i was like @ hawks damn ur daddy really be like that, huH

which reminds me of my whole spiel about dabi/hawks and endeavour/hawks : ‘ )

but yea. dabi was unfairly attractive and i just want death to consume me

okay so the plot was like,, the hero commission (aka the dodgy ass institution): how about sending the 1a kids to an island where there are no active heroes ??

so the 1a kids get yeeted off to an island,, and they are having fun helping the locals out !! (this is the wholesome content we all deserve)

jirou and yaomomo asdgjhskgjahkj

kacchan who stays at home the entire day because he’s on ~villain duty~ and there weren’t any villains so he just sits at home and read manga asdfghjkl that’s a hard Mood

kirishima looking like the cutie he is eye-

the bakusquad teasing kacchan by calling him “kacchan of bakugo”

how is maharo & katsuma so damn cute *angery fists*

but izuku really be adopting children left and right hUh

dadmight and dadzawa whomst i only know dadku

ochako & tsuyu are so cute wtf eye-

these villains are overpowered af wtf

wow i love 1a having each other’s backs their teamwork,, was ,,, so good,,, so smooth ,,, (*whispers* poly 1-a anyone ??)

everyone be losing until kacchan comes blasTing in, saving kirishima & kaminari with sheer determination and stubbornness and manages to defeat one (1) villain

not going to lie though i feel like mummy got done dirty like that

but i like the little nod to the provisional exam arc

the inflated izuku mahoro projected was the Cutest

anyway what really clapped was you know,, both izuku and kacchan being the smort cookies they are: “DIDN’T I TELL YOU THAT ONCE I’VE SEEN YOU USE IT, I HAVE A WAY OF COUNTERING IT?!"

like oof

also i love how izuku is established as the image of hope (the saviour) and kacchan is established as the image of victory (the victor) - this whole “win to save” and “save to win” really got laid down really heavily

but we’re all hoes for that i guess

touga in her winter gear !!! eye-

yaomomo delivering the Goods (i.e. the cannons)

a o y a m a : (

the moment i realised that tokoyami was in the cave, i knew the villain there was Done For

i haven’t forgotten our resident eldritch abomination, dark shadow, y’all

i just ?? love ?? mina ???? so much ??????

ngl i didn’t know chimera was literally a chimera until this part i just thought he one big furry

oof

that flashback to endeavour’s advice when shouto was fighting chimera ?? the symBoLisM wow

shouto being able to rationally separate endeavour the hero and endeavour the shitty dad & using the advice endeavour gave him to empower himself -

- wipes tears

sero and ochako getting blasted away really badly by nine,,, and izuocha happens but we’ve all seen that before

it is kacchan,, ,, being protective of sero when he got yeeted,,,,, that is the Point

THE BEST PART ABT THE SECOND LAST FIGHT WAS LITERALLY BKDK BEING SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER’S MOVES THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING LIKE A HERO DUO ??

LIKE IZUKU KICKING THE VILLAIN, REBOUNDING OFF THE SHIELD,, AND THEN FLYING OFF JUST FOR KACCHAN TO GRAB IZUKU’S HAND AND FLING HIM BACK AT THE VILLAIN FOR A SECOND ATTACK

THE WHOLE HANDHOLDING THING IS STARTING TO COME OUT AS A MOTIF

AND I JUST WOW ,,, BKDK,, (platonic or romantic or otherwise) OUT HERE,, HOLDING HANDS AS EQUALS,,, SYMBOLIC OF THEIR CHANGING RELATIONSHIP,,,,

s h o u j i : ( protecting mahoro and katsuma with his body : ( big cuddle boy doesn’t deserve this pain !!!

don’t think i didn’t notice the film using the same bgm as the kamino rescue

it draws such a powerful parallel ?? back then it was kacchan who needed to be ‘saved' but now it’s kacchan doing the saving & the winning - once again, such character development asdfghjkl

this film,, making me appreciate kaminari 10x more

also fellas is it gay to stare at your rival and being able to communicate non-verbally

bkdk detroit smashing the storm together & making a damn fucking hole in the stratosphere like all might,, dispelling the damn storm and letting sunlight filter in ?? that was some really obvious symbolism but regardless,,,, wow

this is the part where the whole twin stars motif really came right in kicking our houses down

kacchan breaking both of his arms because of one for all & all i can think of is ,, izuku,, stop sharing your bone breaking juice with people

i’m just thinking about how people @ izuku: wtf how do you deal with this bone breaking bs all the time

and izuku, pure bean: oh yea haha i thought it was normal ?? like everyone has to get used to their quirks like this ??

a concept: quirkless izuku not understanding how quirks are supposed to feel

anyway, dadmight cradling izuku in his arms only to leave kacchan a metre away ?? favouritism that we’re all here for

izuku : ( apologising : ( for : ( being : ( a : ( bad : ( successor : (

i just want to shake izuku’s shoulders & tell him that he did super well and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of himself and that he deserves everything good in this world

also imagine being so gremlin that all the one for all predecessors were like "nope we’re not dealing with this gremlin child, we prefer the pure broccoli”

disappointed that hawks didn’t get enough screentime

but we got some hawks & tokoyami and ryuukyuu & ochako time

kacchan ~conveniently~ forgetting what happened ?? i smell something fishy

our local crusty boy shows up & ahh yes, there it is - the close up shot that like to remind us that he needs to Moisturise

everytime i see red shoes on shigs i just think about the parallels between shigs and izuku and my heart breaks all over again

the scene where shouto got hugged super uncomfortably by endeavour ?? oof. the entire cinema just simultaneously laughed and heard the shouuuuutooooo

katsuma being like like “i’m going to become a hero like deku & bakugo !” and kacchan’s acting all cool and shit, telling him “you better” while izuku is like “katsuma, you can become a hero !! we’ll wait for you at ua !!” because he saw himself in katsuma and wanted to be the person he wanted someone to be for him when he was young

breaking my own heart like this

imagine the first years in ten years though

they’re just going to be a bunch of teenagers izuku or 1-a saved or adopted

and they’re going to give aizawa so many more grey hairs than the current 1-a

#bnha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia: heroes rising #heroes rising spoilers #heroes rising #this got a little long #excuse my language i'm just very excited #it do be like that sometimes #mine #everytime i see 1-a i just think about found family #and we're all hoes for found family

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jewishzevran · 4 years

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this is how galaxies collide || alistair x warden (aeducan)

Alistair has grown up without touch. Touch is bad, touch is sinful, touch only leads to corruption. Then, at Ostagar, Duncan returns from Orzammar with a new recruit; a dwarf covered in darkspawn blood with silver hair and a silver tongue to match. As they travel Ferelden together, he finds himself re-evaluating everything he knows about bodily contact. [ao3]

a/n: cw for canon-typical violence and injuries.

chapter one - join us in the shadows

Wind howls round the cold, empty halls of the chantry; a haunting, melancholy rendition of the hymns sung that morning. Outside the rattling window, the storm rages. A crack of lightning throws the room into sharp relief, and Alistair curls up a little tighter under his blanket, fists clenched with fear. There are no warm bodies to keep him safe here, no mabari paws to cling to. No gentle whines or rough tongues licking his cheek as he cries. His chest aches with loneliness.

A rap on the door interrupts his thoughts and he sits bolt upright, wiping the tears from his face with the heel of his hand.

“Up, child. Your presence is required.”

Alistair pulls on a robe over his nightclothes and scurries to the door. One does not refuse the voice of the revered Mother.

Even if it is past bedtime, he thinks.

She barely gives him a second glance before walking off down the corridor. Alistair follows.

A crack of thunder sounds almost directly overhead, loud enough to make Alistair’s ears ring. He jumps, grabbing for the closest source of comfort he can: the revered mother’s hand.

Before the thunder roll has even petered out, she snatches her hand away from him and turns her eyes on him, full of cold disapproval. He cowers under her glare.

“You do not touch a woman,” she spits.

Before Alistair can even open his mouth to reply, she marches off. He bows his head and follows, fresh tears forming in his eyes while shame burns his cheeks.

Touch is sinful. He must face his fear of the storm alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Alistair huffed as he stalked across camp to complete his task. Of all the people to play messenger boy to the mages, why did the revered mother pick the ex-templar?

That’s precisely why she picked you, he thought to himself. It’s an insult and you know it.

He was going to refuse, but Duncan had been hovering nearby, watching, and Alistair knew if he had, Duncan would have stepped in and made him take it anyway.

Typical of his mentor, always pushing him to be the better person.

He wanted to just conveniently ‘not find the mage’, apologise profusely to the revered mother and get on with his day. But he’d never been a good liar and Duncan’s disappointed sigh was more than he could cope with, so he slumped off in the direction of the old temple, kicking at loose stones and muttering under his breath. If his armor had pockets, his hands would definitely be inside them.

It didn’t take long for him to find the mage in question; he was stood alone in the centre of the plinth, running through simple combat sequences, moves flowing one into the other as though he was meditating instead of letting off powerful blasts of fire at the crumbling pillar in front of him. He turned, saw Alistair, and sighed heavily, not bothering to hide his disdain. Whether it was at being interrupted or at Alistair specifically, he couldn’t say.

“What is it now? Haven’t the grey wardens asked more than enough of the Circle?”

Alistair bit his tongue. Remember to be civil. Don’t start a fight. Don’t antagonise him. He chose his words very carefully and spoke each one as neutrally as possible.

“I simply came to deliver a message from the revered mother, ser mage. She desires your presence.”

The mage scoffed. “What her reverence desires is of no concern to me. I am busy helping the grey wardens – on the King’s orders, I might add!”

Alistair fought the urge to roll his eyes, and just about succeeded. “Should I have asked her to write a note?”

He could feel the mage practically explode with impudent fury. “Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!”

I’m not a fucking messenger pigeon, he thought. Sometimes mages can be so fucking stubborn. “Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message.”

“Your glibness does you no credit, man,” the mage spit back.

To hell with civility.

“Aww, and here I thought we were getting along so well!” Alistair said, each word dripping with sarcasm. “I was even going to name one of my children after you – the grumpy one.”

The mage looked as though he was about to hit him, and Alistair almost wished he would.

“Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must.”

It was not lost on Alistair that he just succeeded in annoying the mage into deciding that between him and the revered mother, she was the lesser of two evils, which was pretty impressive going in the time allowed, even for him. He suppressed a victorious grin.

“Out of my way, fool.”

The mage stalked off, almost bumping into someone on his way, and that’s when Alistair saw her: barefoot, muddy and spattered with darkspawn blood. White hair, dark skin and dark, determined eyes, that looked like they’d seen a lot more of the uglier side of the world than they should have.

Beautiful, said the loud, very unhelpful voice in the back of his head. He ignored it.

“You know,” his mouth said before his brain could stop it. “one good thing about the blight is how it really brings people together.”

Yes, that’s it, Alistair. Take one look at this woman with fire in her eyes who seems like she hasn’t slept in about four days, who is absolutely covered in blood and decide she’s the perfect person to tell a sarcastic joke to. Really stellar work there.

He winced internally, waiting for another outburst like the rapidly disappearing mage, but instead, the stranger just raised a single eyebrow and smiled wryly.

“You are a very strange human.”

Oh. Well then.

“Yes, I get that a lot.” He paused, doubting himself for a moment. “Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?”

She frowned, then gestured to herself. “I’m… a dwarf? How could I be a mage?”

Maker, Alistair, you are absolutely killing it today.

What he wanted to do was apologise for being such an idiot. Instead, mouth bypassing his brain again, he shrugged and said “I don’t know. Sometimes they creep up on you.”

“Like your imagination, it seems,” she replied, dryly and without hesitation. There was a pause of a couple of seconds, where they stared at each other, both completely deadpan, and then, at the same time, they burst out laughing.

“My name is Janna—” said the dwarf, still smiling as she extended a hand for Alistair to shake. He noted the hesitation at the end of her sentence, as though she was about to give a surname but held back at the last moment. “A pleasure to meet you.”

Family is probably a painful subject, then. He thought. Avoid jokes where possible. Maybe we can bond over our tragic backstories in the future.

“I’m Alistair. Newest grey warden.”

“Oh good, you are who I was looking for.”

Duncan must have sent her.

He nodded. “As the junior member of the order, I’ll be helping you prepare for your joining.”

“Prepare?” She frowned, a tiny furrow appearing between her eyes.

“Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to say much.” He gestured back towards camp, and she fell easily into step by his side. “Sworn to secrecy and all. Duncan will explain to you and the others soon.” He paused. “Have you met the other recruits?”

Janna wrinkled her nose a little. “I’ve met Daveth.” The word unfortunately hung unspoken in the air.

“Yes,” Alistair replied apologetically. “The other is Ser Jory, a knight from Redcliffe.”

Janna nodded. Alistair was a little surprised by how easily he fell into conversation with her.

“So, that mage?”

“Mmmm?”

“Why was he so… uncooperative?”

Alistair barked out a laugh. “How much do you know about mage regulation?”

“Only a little,” Janna admitted. “I read what I could in Orzammar, but being a dwarf, it tends not to be a sought-after topic of study. All I know is that the Chantry controls the Templars and the Templars watch the mages.”

Alistair nodded. “Well, that’s enough to explain this particular situation. I used to be a templar.”

Janna frowned. “You were permitted to leave the order? Even from my limited knowledge, that’s surprising.”

Alistair laughed again. “Yes, well. I was still in training and Duncan had to invoke the right of conscription to get the Revered Mother to let me go. I’ll never forget the look on her face. I thought she was going to have us both arrested.”

Why am I telling her all this?

She laughed. “That I would have liked to see.”

“So, the mage was upset, because the revered mother sent me with the message as an insult. He was smart enough to pick up on that, and well, you saw the rest. I would have refused to take it in the first place but–”

“–Duncan.” Janna finished.

“Yes. Apparently, we should all be doing our best to get along and be civil, but no one else seems to have received that particular lecture.” He sat down on an unoccupied bench, under the shade of a large oak, only partly pretending to sulk.

Janna laughed again, joining him. “Sounds just like Orzammar. Though we tend to settle our grievances with one-on-one combat, and I can’t imagine that would go down as well up here.”

Alistair chuckled. “Definitely not, but I can think of several people who would jump at the chance. Including that mage. I’m going to have to watch my back in case he ‘accidentally’ trips and sets me on fire.”

Janna threw her head back in another laugh, and the swaying branches above her caught her eye. She smiled softly, reaching up to tug a leaf free and hold it, studying it in minute detail.

“I didn’t realise quite how beautiful the colour green is.” She said quietly. “The surface is full of surprises.”

A shadow of sadness flitted across her face, and Alistair wondered just how voluntary her departure from Orzammar had been. He flailed mentally for a way to distract her.

“Oh, Maker, you should see the southern coast in summer,” he started. “You wouldn’t believe the colours. Greens of the trees, bright oranges and reds of the fruit in the market. For a blissful month or two, the sea is a gorgeous teal, rather than, y’know. Dull Ferelden grey.”

“I’ve never seen the ocean.”

“Well, when we’ve dealt with the blight, I’ll bat my incredibly charming eyelashes at Duncan, and persuade him to let us all take a trip. We may even convince him to take his armor off.”

For a while, they simply sat and talked, laughing about some of Alistair’s wilder seaside adventures; he was grateful for the diversion – the mood had been so grim and serious recently, and it was a welcome relief to talk about anything that wasn’t darkspawn fighting tactics or the upcoming battle.

A comfortable silence fell between them for a moment, broken only by the background chatter of the camp, and the barks of the mabari from the kennels.

“What are mabari like?” Janna asked, evidently prompted by the noise.

“You mean you’ve never–”

Janna gestured to herself again. “We don’t have much use for them, you know, underground.”

Alistair flushed. “Right. Yes.” There was a pause, and then, “do you want to go and meet them? I’m sure the Kennel Master would oblige you.”

Janna grinned. “I’d like that.”

“Well it takes us in the right direction, since we’re obliged to go and meet Duncan anyway.”

She almost fell over herself in her excitement, and Alistair bit back another laugh. He’s laughed more times in the past half an hour than in the last six months combined. He followed her to the Kennel Master but pulled up short when he saw the look on the man’s face. He heard a little of the conversation, and pity filled him. He hated what fighting the darkspawn did to the mabari.

His train of thought was cut short when he saw Janna slip inside the gate. Curious, he crossed to the fence and observed.

“Hey there,” she murmured, gently crouching next to the injured creature. He growled warily. “My name is Janna. You probably haven’t seen many dwarves before, have you? I’m here to help you. Will you let me do that?” She paused, giving the dog a moment. When he didn't react, she continued, offering her hand gingerly for him to consider. “I just have to put this muzzle on, so your master over there can make you feel better. Is that okay?”

The mabari whined a little, and sniffed Janna’s outstretched hand, then licked her fingers and rolled onto his side.

“Maker’s breath,” whispered the Kennel Master, talking to himself as much as Alistair. “That poor dog’s been snapping at anyone that so much as looks at him for the past three days.”

“Some people just have a way, I suppose,” replied Alistair, just as stunned.

Janna clambered out the enclosure, looking back miserably at the freshly muzzled mabari. “I hope you can ease his pain a little.”

“Thanks to you, I should have no trouble. But, if you head into the wilds, look for this.” He showed her a rough sketch, and Alistair recognised it as a Wilds flower. “I can make it into a salve that draws out the poison.”

“Got it. I’ll bring back as many as I can carry.”

“Thank you kindly, lass. You’re a good soul.”

“Alistair! Janna!”

Duncan called to them from across the fire, and waved them both over. Jory and Daveth were with him, and Alistair held back a groan. Time to head out into the Wilds.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Alistair grimaced as he wiped darkspawn blood off his blade and sheathed it, along with his shield.

Maker, they don’t get any less disgusting.

Janna made quick work of collecting the blood, storing it in the pouch at her waist with practiced ease. She seemed totally unfazed by the massacre, her indifference made all the more apparent by just how shaken Daveth and Jory seemed to be.

Alistair consulted the map, getting their next heading and directing as appropriate, but within two minutes, Janna darted off the path and crouched next to a rotting log.

“What in Andraste’s name is she doing?” Daveth said, rolling his eyes. “It’s like she wants to be ambushed.”

She returned almost as quickly as she left and held out her hand for Alistair.

“This is the flower the kennel master wanted, right?”

Alistair blinked. He had all but forgotten, but yes, in her hand was a small clump of Wilds flowers, red centres bright against the pure white petals.

“That’s the ones.”

She smiled and stowed them away, before falling into step beside him. Her alertness did not escape his notice; one hand always on the hilt of her sword, whilst her eyes scanned the wilderness with expert perception. It took him a second to realise she was still barefoot, and only just stopped himself wrinkling his nose.

What possesses someone to hunt darkspawn without boots?

“By the stone,” she breathed, faltering beside him, and Alistair followed her gaze to where three soldiers were strung up like cured meat from a tree bridge. Every face was contorted with fear, and his gut wrenched uncomfortably.

Poor bastards. They didn’t deserve that.

“Look there!” Jory called. “There’s movement on the path!”

Janna was gone in a blur, and she had already crouched at the source of the disturbance by the time Alistair realised that it was a wounded soldier.

He sprinted after her, in time to catch the end of the man’s sentence.

“… out of the ground. There were too many. Everyone is dead.”

“You’re safe now, it’s alright. We can get you back to camp. What’s your name, soldier?”

“A-a-aaron,” He stuttered, making any coherent noise clearly an intense effort.

“My name is Janna, I’m a Grey Warden. I’m here to help you.” She was knelt beside the man, cradling his head in her lap. She’d removed his helmet and started stroking his hair, gently wiping the sweat from his pain-creased brow. She looked up at Alistair.

“Do you have any poultices? Any bandages?” Her voice was deathly calm, and her eyes flicked down to his abdomen. He took the hint and chanced a look, and then instantly wished he hadn’t. The soldier’s – Aaron’s – blood-soaked hands were cradling his stomach, and Alistair could see the glistening of his intestines underneath his shredded tunic. Beside him, Daveth gagged.

“Never mind bandages, you’re going to need a fucking funeral pyre.”

Jory glared down at him, and Daveth cowed uncharacteristically under his gaze, mumbling out an apology.

“I have both in my pack,” Alistair said, ignoring them both, delving into the bag and pulling them out. Janna wasn't even looking at him as she held her hand out for the items; her eyes were on Aaron’s face, keeping him distracted and stopping him panicking.

“When I give him the signal, Alistair here is going to put a poultice on your wound and then bandage you up, ok? I’ve got some draught here as well, which should help with the pain. It’s going to hurt to start with, but I need you to just hold on, alright?”

The soldier grimaced and nodded, breathing shakily.

Janna turned to Alistair. “Ready?”

He wasn’t, but he nodded anyway. “Ready.”

She lifted Aaron’s hands and gripped them tightly. “Deep breath in, Aaron,”

As he took in a shaky gasp of air, Alistair pushed the poultice deep into the wound. Aaron went grey and half screamed, half sobbed in agony. His knuckles were white under the blood, clutching Janna’s hands with a death grip. Alistair worked quickly, wrapping bandages around his torso and tying them off neatly.

Janna soothed him all the while, and once Alistair was finished, she propped him up gently and helped him take a swig of the healing draught. When he finished, he took a deep breath and slumped back into Janna’s arms. Fresh sweat was beading on his forehead, but his pallor was far healthier than it had been five minutes ago.

“I’m going to help him back to camp,” Janna said, the tone of her voice brooking no room for argument. “He’s stable for now, but if he encounters any more darkspawn, he’s done for.”

“Andraste’s tits,” Daveth muttered. “As if we didn’t have enough to be worried about. Should have just put the poor guy out of his misery.”

“We’ll come with you,” Alistair said, a little too loudly, deliberately speaking over Daveth and shooting him a warning look.

Janna smiled gratefully. “Thank you.”

It took them about an hour to carry Aaron back to the gate. Janna propped him up the whole time, offering him generous swigs of healing draught and keeping his mind off the pain by chatting with him continuously. She asked him about his home, his family, his sweetheart. With each response, Alistair could see the fear dissipate from his shoulders.

The guards on duty looked stunned when they opened the gates.

“Maker’s breath–Aaron? Aaron, what happened?”

“Squad got jumped.” He replied, grimly. “I would have been off to the Maker with them, if it hadn’t been for the Wardens.”

“Thank you,” said one of the guards, his voice thick with gratitude.

Janna nodded in recognition. “We’d best be getting back to our own mission now. I will come to see you later, Aaron.”

“Andraste watch over you, Janna.” Aaron said, wincing as he leaned against one of the guards.

Janna turned back to the rolling hills of the wilds. “Thank you,” she said to the group, as the gates to camp closed behind them again. “I understand your reluctance to assist him, but I appreciate your help regardless.”

Daveth opened his mouth to retort something, but Jory punched his arm before he could get it out.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “It’s nice to see kindness isn’t completely abandoned in this desolate place.”

Janna turned back to them, and Alistair watched as an emotion he couldn’t quite place crossed her face, and then she smiled.

“Onwards, then?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Alistair paced back and forth near the fire. The meeting seemed to be taking an age. He’d tried to lie in his tent and settle down for the night, but his heart was too heavy to sleep.

Two more were dead. Jory’s last words echoed through his ears.

There is no glory in this.

“The Light shall lead her safely, Through the paths of this world, and into the next,”

The words came almost subconsciously. Alistair knelt down by the fire and clasped his hands together, closing his eyes. He wasn’t one to pray much, not anymore, but he somehow always found himself reciting Transfigurations when there was cause for mourning.

“For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water. As the moth sees light and goes toward flame, She should see fire and go towards Light. The Veil holds no uncertainty for her, And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker Shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword.”

Alistair finished the verse, its familiar lines settling over him like a blanket, comforting him, even if only for a moment. He stood, wiping away stray tears, and kicked a smouldering twig. He doubted he would ever get used to watching a joining. He wondered what they would tell Jory’s wife – widow.

He could only be grateful that Janna made it through. He would never, could never, celebrate the deaths of the others, but if there had to be only one survivor, he was glad it was her.

The moment they had got back from the Wilds, she had made a beeline for the Kennel Master and deposited a veritable mountain of flowers at his stunned feet; she had picked every single one she could find on their journey, and by the time they returned her pack was almost overflowing. After that, she marched to the infirmary to check on Aaron. The nurses and healers practically fell over themselves to thank her for her quick action. Alistair had watched her from a distance; once she had had a long talk with Aaron and left him to rest, she went round every other patient and helped the medical staff prepare ointments and poultices with the competence of someone who was definitely not new to the experience.

She is certainly a puzzle; he thought to himself. He had watched her cut down darkspawn with terrifying efficiency, and then find the body of a fallen soldier, recover his last will and testament, and insist on seeking out the hidden cache mentioned so that she could hopefully return it to his widow. Jory had been right. She was kind to her core, and that was very rare. War usually stripped kindness out of people before anything else. Janna seemed to be determined to hang onto hers until her last breath, probably to her own detriment.

And she did all of that with no fucking shoes on.

“Alistair!”

Her voice broke his train of thought, and he looked up to see her walking towards him, the rest of the attendees of the meeting going their separate ways behind her. He found himself smiling at her sudden appearance.

“All finished?”

Janna rolled her eyes. “Mercifully, yes. No thanks to Loghain or Cailan. We could have cut that time in half if they would stop clashing over literally everything. Now, I think I would like to settle down and have something to eat and then I am going to sleep for as long as possible. Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.”

“That can be arranged.” Alistair smiled.

They walked together to the food tent in comfortable silence. Once Janna had wolfed down two and half helpings of stew and a good-sized mug of ale, she looked up at him softly.

“Thank you,” she said. “For earlier. With Aaron. You didn’t have to help, but you did.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Alistair replied, truthfully. “I’m just glad we could do something before it was too late.”

Janna reached out and took his hand, squeezing it appreciatively. “Still. I am grateful nonetheless. I will sleep a little easier tonight knowing we helped save his life. Especially after…” She tailed off, but Alistair knew she was referring to the joining.

As silence fell over the two of them, he bit his lip, and then seized his opportunity to both change the subject and answer his burning question.

“Look, I’m really sorry. But I can’t not ask. It’s been bothering me all day. And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he finished hurriedly, as Janna tensed up, probably preparing herself for something tasteless at best and racist at worst. “But… why on earth aren’t you wearing boots?”

Janna blinked at him, like it was taking time to actually process what he said. Then she looked under the bench, looked back up, repeated the action, and then groaned loudly and dropped her head into her arms.

“Sweet Ancestors, I cannot believe -”

“Fuck,” Alistair said, feeling laughter bubbling up from deep in his stomach. “You didn’t realise, did you?”

Janna shook her head, still face down. He could see the tips of her ears flushing deep red and desperately tried to stop the laughter from escaping, but it was no good; when Janna lifted her head with the look of someone who has never been more disappointed in themselves, he lost it.

“How in Andraste’s name can someone forget they’re not wearing shoes?”

“I am beyond humiliated.”

“I mean, I admit that makes me feel a little better,” said Alistair, shoulders still shaking with laughter. “At least I know you weren’t deliberately wading around barefoot in darkspawn blood.”

“When I… left Orzammar,” Janna said carefully, and the particular way she chose her words was not lost on Alistair, “my boots were damaged, and Duncan didn’t have any to hand that would fit a dwarf. When I got to Ostagar, everything happened so quickly, and I never had time to ask the quartermaster for a pair. Please don’t tell anyone. I have to maintain some level of reputation. If I strike fear into people’s hearts because they think it was on purpose, then so be it.”

“Well, your secret is safe with me, now that you’ve put my mind at rest,” replied Alistair, raising an eyebrow but otherwise leaving the explanation well alone for now. “Thank you. I can rest easy knowing our newest initiate is not a total barbarian.”

Janna chuckled into her ale, eyeing him impishly. “You never know. I might just creep up on you.”

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #alistair x warden #alistair x aeducan #alistair theirin #warden aeducan #dwarf warden

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1-1snailxd-art · 5 years

Note

Could you do a fluffy moxiety fic? Platonic or romantic (whichever you are comfortable with) I’m sure you’ll add angst 😱 and that’s okay. I love your work.

Awww thank you 😊 I hope this is okay and scratches that moxiety itch 💜🐌

(Note: this is very much unedited really. I may come back and flesh this out further, but for now it is what it is)

Wedding Signs

Relationship: moxiety (obviously - but is is romantic or platonic 😉)

Warnings: car accident mentioned (it’s a backstory comment), little panic,

Summary: Roman has lost Virgil, on his wedding day of all days. Logan is sure to start freaking out if things aren’t on time, so who is going to find him? Obviously Patton wasn’t going to just sit around and wait for someone else to find him, so Pats is on the case.

——————————

The door flew open with such force that it hit the adjoining wall with a resounding thud causing Remy to drop their cup; spilling tea across the hardwood floor.

“Bitch!” Remy exclaimed; quickly retrieving their keep cup and inspecting the cracked plastic. “This is not the tea I like seeing spilled.”

Anger flared in their eyes as they turned to the culprit standing in the doorway with a face like a deer caught in headlights.

“There better be a good excuse for this, Roman,” Remy snapped; holding the ruined cup out for him to see, tea still spilling on the floor. “Now is not the time for your-”

“It’s Virgil.”

The words came out of Roman’s mouth in a rush and Remy instantly changed their demeanour.

“Where?” Cup swiftly thrown in the trash, Remy ran their fingers through their hair and turned away.

“I’m not sure.” Roman confessed, leaning against the door frame with a sigh. “He wasn’t in his room and he isn’t answering his phone and guest are already arriving and Logan is already pacing and, and-”

“Girl, you need to chill out or you are going to get pit stains on your suit, and I will not have that tarnishing my photographs.” Pausing at the bedroom door, Remy gestured with their hand for Roman to leave. “Go make sure Logan doesn’t blow a fuse; I got this.”

With a sigh, Roman neatened his burgundy suit and headed back down the hall; guilt weighing down his every breath.

“You had one job,” he thought to himself. “Virgil never should have made me best man again. I’m a bad omen. Remus would have been a better choice than me.”

Roman’s footsteps echoed away and Remy returned their attention to the bedroom door. The doorknob was pulled from their hand as it was opened from the other side and they came face to face with Patton. Tilting their head to the side, Remy placed one hand on their hip as they stared at Patton’s blue, sun patterned dress.

“Move, Remy.” Patton demanded, trying to step around them as they blocked the doorway.

“Where do you think you are going?” They questioned, making sure their mouth movements were clear as they used their hands to block the door.

Folding their arms across their chest, Patton pouted at their friend.

“I felt the door slam. Something happened to Virgil, correct?”

Dropping their hands from the frame, Remy nodded and signed as they spoke.

“Roman said he isn’t in his room. Fair to assume he either ran or is hiding somewhere.” They glanced at the clock before continuing. “The ceremony is meant to start in an hour and obviously without Virgil there isn’t a wedding, so... What is the plan?”

“I will find him.” Patton pushed past and called back over their shoulder; “You just make sure everything is ready for when we return.”

The blue of the dress disappeared around the corner and Remy had a nervous giggle to themself. Hindsight revealed that giving Virgil a separate hotel room was a very bad idea indeed, and now Remy was going to have to work to correct Roman’s little mistake.

***************

Roaming the hotels pristine halls, Patton’s first stop was Virgil’s room; thankfully left open and unlocked. It didn’t take long for them to find Virgil’s suit jacket crumpled on the bathroom floor and covered in makeup powder from the thrown concealer palettes. Heart aching, Patton walked out to the small balcony and looked out at the garden. If they moved to the edge of the balcony and lent over slightly, they could spot the ceremony setup. Rows of seats for family and friends to watch a long awaited union of love. It was no wonder Virgil had gone into a panic if he could see every guest arriving from his windows, and Patton silently cursed Roman’s ridiculous decisions.

"Where did you go, Virgil?" They wondered aloud as they stepped back into the room and continued scanning the area.

The information book on the table caught their eye and suddenly they had their solution. With great skill in their flat slip-on shoes, Patton took off at a run to reach the location of the advertised establishment.

*************

Fingers danced across polished piano keys, sliding from note to note in a sequence that had the small audience captivated. Having patrons come in and play the instruments was nothing unusual for the the store owner; she actively encouraged it on the piano and string instruments especially, but this was different. The man that sat at the piano now, playing with such calm and grace, had burst through the doors not 10 minutes ago is a state of panic and practically begged to play the piano. Now, a small audience had amassed itself in the store, drawn to the hypnotic piano piece that she was sure told the story of the artist behind it.

“Who is this guy?” Whispered a new observer; earning a shrug from the owner as she refused to take her eyes away from the dancing hands on her piano.

“I have no idea; but whoever he is, he has captured something truly beautiful in this piece.”

Struggling to catch their breath after their run, Patton paused in the doorway of the music store and saw the small audience near the hardwood stage. Carefully slipping off their shoes, Patton walked into the store and went to push through the group of onlookers; giving a quiet “excuse me” as they moved forward.

“Hey, wait a second,” the owner called; a fruitless attempt to get Patton’s attention. “Don’t distract the performer. It’s rude to interrupt-”

The hand of another patron grabbed Patton’s shoulder and they turned suddenly red faced as they caught the end of the owners whispered rant on respect.

“I’m sorry,” Patton signed as they spoke, “I’m Deaf and that is my friend.”

The owner was quick to apologise; trying to recall the limited key word sign they knew.

“Sorry. He was so panicked before and I didn’t want to upset him. Your friend is very talented.”

Nodding, Patton looked over their shoulder at the pianist, before returning their gaze to the group.

“He is, but we have somewhere we should be.”

The group seemed to nod in understanding, and Patton continued up to the platform that the piano sat on; sad to find the vibration dull compared to what they normally felt near Virgil’s personal piano. Hands reached out to the top of the grand piano, sliding across the polished surface and feeling the clear vibration of the strings below. Carefully, Patton lay their body across the top enough so they would be within Virgil’s vision without actually putting their full weight on the instrument. They watched the players eyes; one vacant and unresponsive, the other glancing up and away as the tempo increased.

“Slow it down, Virgil.” Patton cooed, keeping their voice calm and avoiding any direct eye contact. “Tell me a story with a happy ending.”

After a moment, the music began to shift from its rapid dance to a whimsical tune that brought a calm to the store.

“That’s from the day in the park, right?” Virgil nodded and gave them a small smile; continuing to play. “That is one of my favourite stories. It had everything; ducklings, puppies, butterflies and so much ice-cream. Tell me another.”

The music shifted again and Patton felt the changing notes; closing their eyes and trying to picture what Virgil was saying.

“I know this one. This was that rainy afternoon at Remy’s house where you and Logan composed your first song together. You were so worried it wasn’t going to work, but it turned out beautiful. Another?”

The audience had only grown since Patton had approached; the growing group enthralled by the shifting sounds.

“Excellent choice,” Patton smiled as they recognised the musical rhythm. “This was the day you proposed. So much anxiety, followed by relief and happiness… tell me Virgil, why did you run away from the wedding?”

Experience made it easy for Patton to interpret Virgil’s musical language; registering every note and how they worked together to tell his muted tale. Fear. Regret. Happiness strangled by sadness.

“I can feel your pain, Virgil.” The music slowed and softened as Patton spoke, pacing to match their words. “It’s okay to be afraid. I think we all are in our own way. I know you think this wedding is cursed because the first time…“ Patton swallowed the lump in their throat before continuing, “cost you an eye and almost cost you your life; but you are here now.. and so am I.”

Virgil met Patton’s eyes and held them for the first time since they arrived; fingers slowing to bring the piece to an end.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, Virgil. No one would ever force you into something you didn’t want to do. This is your day and your choice. Just say the word, and the wedding will be called off; no questions asked.”

Hands stilling, Virgil lowered his head and breathed deeply to steady his thoughts and find his voice again.

“I want to get married.” Virgil said the words to the ground to test his voice before looking up and repeating with sign for Patton. “I want to be married, Patton.”

“Then we better be going then,” they smiled; sitting up and holding a hand out for him to take, “best not keep everyone waiting any longer.”

As the pair headed out, Virgil paused to thank the owner, leaving the gobsmacked group behind to marvel in what they had witnessed.

****************

Hands remained intertwined as the pair made their way back to the hotel. They reached the lobby just as Remy and Dee stepped out of an elevator.

“Perfect timing,” Dee mused, holding a black hoodie out for Virgil. “Logan and Roman are around 5 minutes away from a nuclear meltdown and Remus is about to start providing his version of entertainment.”

Patton laughed as Remy cheekily signed behind the others back; adding extra expressions to communicate Logan’s distress.

“Hoodie is the best we can do for ya, Vee.” Remy added, watching the man cautiously slip it on over his lavender dress shirt. ��That suit jacket was a mess.”

“I think this is more comfortable,” Virgil smiled and turned to Patton. “You should probably go and change though, Pat.”

Shaking their head, Patton grabbed both of Virgil’s hands in their own and smiled. “I think this outfit will do just fine. Better not keep them waiting any longer.”

****************

Logan checked his watch for the umpteenth time; doing his best to appear composed while Roman chewed his nails beside him.

“You do realise that is a terrible habit to have.” He spoke with such a stern tone, Roman immediately dropped his hand from his mouth.

“Sorry if I’m a little worked up; but in case you haven’t noticed, Virgil is still missing and it’s all my fault.”

“Be that as it may, please refrain from ruining your nails further.”

“Too late for that.”

Sighing, Logan grabbed Roman’s hands and inspected his nails. “I’ll be sure to book us in for a full nail treatment when this is over. Fair?”

“Did you just say ‘us’? As in, the two of us?”

“Correct. If you cease this finger chewing,” Logan lifted Roman’s right hand and place a kiss on top, “I shall join you for a couples experience.”

“Oh, I am never chewing my nails ever again.”

“Alright, bitches!” Remy’s voiced boomed from the top of the aisle and the guests conversations were silenced. “Let’s get this wedding started, hey?”

Remus shuffled out from his spot in the middle of the audience and collected a violin to join his fellow musicians. Remy reached the alter and gave Roman’s shoulder a firm squeeze.

“Now, sweetie, don’t freak out, but we made a few outfit adjustments.” Roman’s eyes widened in fear as his image of the perfect wedding vanished. “It’s fine. They still look freakin’ hot as anything, and I promise my photography will do it all justice.”

With that, Remy turned and went to collect their camera as the musicians started to play.

Dee looked at the couple, hands still locked together as the music began.

“I’m sorry, Patton, but I can not give you away,” he signed and Patton’s face dropped. “You are already Virgil’s. You two should walk out together.”

“Oh, thank you, brother.” Patton let go of Virgil’s hand long enough to pull their sibling into a tight embrace; leaning back to swipe tears from his eyes.

“Mum and Dad would be proud, Pats. I just know they would be.”

Taking Virgil’s hand again, Patton watched as their brother headed around the corner solo.

“Are you ready?” They asked Virgil, feeling their hand tighten slightly.

He nodded, and the pair made their way towards their much anticipated union.

Every step taken made breathing a little easier for Virgil. Every step a step away from their last wedding attempt that left Patton sobbing at the alter with Logan, thinking they were stood up. A step away from the car accident that left Virgil in a coma and took his sight from one eye. A step closer to the happy ending of one story, and the beginning of a new adventure.

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nekoabiwrites · 5 years

Text

Of Princes and Potions 2 - Chapter 4

I return from America! Excited to get back into this after being starved of a creative outlet for the past two weeks!

AU: Royal/Fantasy Pairing: Logince Words: 2358 Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, injury, mention of past war, mention of scaring, mention of pain, Deceit’s whole backstory is here and it’s sad af. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Logan and Demitri attempt to find their way back into the castle while avoiding heading back through town. Having this amount of time alone with the only other person they know who understand their situations seems to break down Demitri and he talks about his mysterious past.

---

Word spread fast amongst the townspeople, so much so that the injured pair were forced to avoid entering town at all. The fear they held for what the townspeople may do in response to their secret being revealed was forefront and so they attempted to find another way back to safety of the castle. As they approached a spot where the walls of the castle grounds were visible to them, Logan noticed a familiar speck heading in their direction. By some divine happenstance, Strix was flying about and… coming right for them? Logan squinted harder, it looked as though she had something in her talons.

After dropping the items to the ground at her owner’s feet, she landed upon his shoulder and Logan couldn’t help but smile. “Thank goodness you found us, Strix.” He scratched her softly in praise, while Demitri knelt down to grab the discarded items.

The animal handler still winced when he moved his hands, but it was a necessary evil for now. “This owl of yours… How did it know?” Demitri asked, gaining Logan’s attention as he held up the piece of parchment and tiny bottle of ink.

Logan could only let out a soft chuckle, “She is incredibly smart. Somehow, she always knows what I need and when.”

Demitri had so many questions, but he decided to leave them for the moment. “Well, would you mind?” He held the items up towards the mage, “I would, of course, be happy to write something, but it would be quite painful in my… current condition.”

“Oh, of course.” Logan took the parchment and unrolled it, using his leg as a resting point. It was only then that he realised what he’d need to do. He turned to Strix, who was watching him carefully. Before Logan had even taken a breath to ask her, she turned and plucked a feather from her wing. She dropped it down into his lap. Both men were speechless.

“How the fuck.” Demitri muttered, looking at the owl curiously.

“I have stopped questioning her, quite honestly. I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand how she is able to simply know everything.” Logan spoke plainly, quickly scrawling out a short note to inform the king of what had happened as well as their general location.

That didn’t deter Demitri who was now engaged in a staring match with Strix, who was almost as interested in him as he was her. However, it had to be broken up before a victor could be named as Logan had finished the note and needed Strix to take it back up to the castle immediately.

“I have let them know where we are, so we should wait right here.” Logan said with a sigh, clearly exhausted as he sat back down after letting Strix go. His back still ached, and it stung with most every movement, but that was unimportant in this moment. He just needed to get back into the castle. Both of them did. Once that was done, then he could let his injury truly affect him.

Demitri had remained seated the entire time and was wistfully watching the owl fly off into the distance. He looked at his hands, seeing not only the deep cuts left by the creature’s horns but also the glimmering scales resting upon the backs of his hands. He turned to Logan, “I feel like I should be apologising to you…” His tone was amused and almost regretful.

“What for?”

“For bringing you out there. Had I not asked for your assistance, we wouldn’t have been found out, or did you forget that detail?”

Logan huffed, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “While that it is true that this event could have been avoided for the two of us had you not brought me out here, the fact still remains that you could not have dealt with that creature on your own without getting significantly more injured. Especially when we consider your age.”

That prompted Demitri to glare at the mage, “My age has little to do with this.” Logan made a sarcastic noise of agreement, “That prince is rubbing off on you…”

They fell back into a silence, simply waiting. Then Demitri heard Logan let out a gentle laugh and turned to see the mage staring up at the sky, uncharacteristically wistful and seemingly sad.

“To think, we would both be found out at the same time…” Logan muttered.

The animal handler ruefully smiled, “Such an odd turn of events.”

“And after all you did to try and stop me from getting found out as well. I feel I should be the one apologising to you.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

Logan gave a half-hearted glare in the other man’s direction. “Hush. Your limitations to my movement in and around the castle as well as your talk of horrifying consequences scarred me as a child! Even now, I still feel the effects of such manipulation.”

“I was simply doing what was done for me, Logan. The only difference was that I was kept outside, in the same room I still reside in. Almost as if… I were one of the animals…” Demitri trailed off, his eyes turning back to the castle walls. “It was all I knew, past the small amount I could remember from before I…”

The mage watched his companion carefully, seeing the way he tensed. Not once had they spoken in great detail about their situations, their pasts. They had known from the moment they’d been introduced about their shared heritage. In fact, it was the sole reason they were introduced at all. Logan had been picked up off of the streets after the king had found him being terrorised by some locals, despite him doing nothing wrong. Meanwhile, Demitri was still a mystery. He was a very young boy back then, likely around the age Logan was when he was brought to the castle. Yet he’d never spoken about it. Not to anyone besides Patton.

However, right here, in the presence of another who knew how hard it was, it seemed like Demitri’s walls were finally giving in. He sucked in a heavy breath before letting his body entirely collapse in on itself. “It was during the massacre. I remember being so young, I couldn’t do anything. All the screaming and crying of people around me, it was terrifying. My mother had taken me somewhere she thought to be safe and she apologised with tears in her eyes. She said it was for my sake, that it would keep me out of harms way. Then she pulled them all out…” His hand ran down the scarred portion of his face, “It hurt. It was the most pain I’d ever felt. I must have tried to scream and cry, but my mother managed to calm me and keep me quiet. She was crying as much as I was. Once she was done, she made me promise. Promise I would never let them grow again, that I would do that and stay where I was, no matter what. And I promised. She went back out, I don’t know why, but that… was the last I remember. I sat there, silently. Listening to all the horrifying things happening around me. Then it stopped. I must have been there for days, unmoving. I was so hungry, still in pain, so tired. I had started to cry, I barely remember making a sound. But I must have as another child heard me and came to find me. He stood in the gap that my mother had left through. He looked so confused as he stared at me. I heard him call for someone, but I was… so weak. I somehow must have passed out. Next thing I knew, I was in the castle infirmary.”

Demitri continued. He spoke of how the previous king came to visit him personally in the infirmary, how he promised to keep him safe, how he promised to never let him come to harm. In return for a place to stay and all the protection possible, the young Demitri had to promise the king that he would never go out of the castle grounds. But he still was far from free of trauma.

“I routinely had nightmares. I still do.” Demitri confessed, staring down at the grass below them, “They only got worse once I overheard a conversation between the old knights. I heard about how the captain had said awful things about me, what he would do if I wasn’t under the king’s protection, how he would make a spectacle of me. It was terrifying. But, just as I thought I had no one, the king summoned me and introduced me to the one who’d saved my life. Instantly, Patton became a close friend. He never looked down upon me, even once he learned of what I was. He wanted to play, like children do. He wanted to be a friend to me, and I cherish that sentiment everyday… even if the ache in my heart doesn’t want me to.”

There was a slight pause. Demitri looked a little unsure of himself and so Logan tried to press him, “Why does it ache?”

Demitri laughed hollowly, “Never speak a word of this to him, but, as time went on… I found myself loving him. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, as I was a child. But, once I knew, it was hard to ignore. Though the timing could not have been worse. Everything became far more complicated once Patton was forced to take over the throne due to his parents’ deaths and even more so once he was married.” The animal handler looked back over to the castle, a gentle sad smile on his face, “I have never mentioned it. I never will. It’s far too late now. I still owe him my life and it is not my place to even consider such thoughts. I’ve fooled myself for long enough now, I can continue doing that for the rest of my life if necessary.”

Another silence. This time, Logan had nothing else to press on. Considering that Demitri was around twice Logan’s own age, that meant this had all been weighing solely on his shoulders for quite some time. No one in the castle was close enough to him, besides the king, that they would have a single clue about any of this. He stewed over the information in his head, trying desperately to come up with something to say, anything that could be considered comforting or helpful. But Logan was coming up entirely blank. A soft grip on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.

“You don’t need to think so hard. It’s not like you could change anything.” The scarred man said, lingering sadness coating his voice.

Taking Demitri’s words to heart, Logan acted without much thought. He leant over and circled the elder man with his arms, hugging him loosely. It was awkward and Logan’s injured back was protesting, but he wanted to do this. No, he felt he needed to do this for the man who’d acted as his father figure in the early years of his life, the man who’d looked after him in his own way for many years, the man who’d gone through such hardships and heartbreak for so long. The only person in this world who could truly understand Logan. He deserved this much.

It was almost hesitant the way that Demitri returned the embrace. Not only was this a complete surprise from the usually stoic mage, but the man was clearly badly injured and Demitri didn’t want to cause any further discomfort. As the seconds passed, he found himself relaxing more and more. The physical comfort was something he’d rejected for such a long time, but it was really helping him in this moment. He rested his head down against the mage’s shoulder as all the repressed emotions bubbled up to the surface and, for the first time in years, Demitri began to cry. Tears spilled from his eyes in a rush, he began to sob, and he gripped the man before him tight. It was almost as if the fear he’d felt all those years ago was back. He was scared he’d be alone again, that he’d be abandoned and left for dead. Despite that now, as an adult, Demitri understood why his mother did what she did, it still didn’t rid him of the fear of abandonment he’d held close to his chest for all these years.

The two men stayed in the embrace for a while. Logan, despite the sharp stinging pain and slight awkwardness, wasn’t about to let Demitri slip from his grasp while he was in such a vulnerable state. He had nothing to say but Logan presumed that it wasn’t to be an issue considering the fact that the animal handler was sobbing loudly into his shoulder. They had no idea how much time passed, but the approaching sound of beating wings had Logan looking up from his current position on the ground.

Allegria touched down just beside them and Roman dropped down off of her back in a flash, falling to his knees beside the two men, “What happened to you both?! Logan, your back is-”

“I know, Roman. It’s okay. We just need to get back to the castle as soon as possible. We would have come back through the town, but we feared the worst.” Logan cut their story short. Despite Roman’s protesting and constant questioning, Logan refused to give anymore details until they were back behind the safety of the castle walls.

The pegasus was none too pleased to have to carry Demitri along with her rider, but she allowed it only at Roman’s request. The prince pressed a kiss to Logan’s hand, promising he’d be back to pick him up before he knew it. Logan felt a soft warmth spread through his system at the touch, quelling a small amount of the lingering fear that had settled into Logan’s chest. Perhaps everything would be fine.

---

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#Sanders Sides #Fanfiction #Logince #Logan Sanders #Deceit Sanders #Roman Sanders #Logic Sanders #Creativity Sanders #sympathetic deceit #ts deceit #Of Princes and Potions #Royal Au #Fantasy AU

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technicallycleverdetective · 4 years

Note

Hey, I am here for that challenge! Love your fics! I will just indicate the start and the end of the passage. “Do you remember when I told you about my need for atonement?”Fabrizio nodded to indicate that he did. (...) “Well then, thank you for everything you’ve done, and thank you for coming to say goodbye. You didn’t have to do that.”The words nearly choked him and he held out his hand, praying that Ermal would shake it quickly and go before he fell apart. The angel didn’t move.

Hello!!! I’m so happy to hear that! Thank you so so much for requesting a commentary <3 It was a lot of fun to talk about my word baby.

Okay, so this is kind of the big ‘aha, everything has come together’ moment, or at least that’s how I intended it. It brings the resolution to Ermal and Fabrizio’s story because from the moment they met, one of the biggest obstacles to their relationship has been Ermal’s immortality. Pretty much all of the issues he had stemmed from that and his experience of watching the last person he loved die, so now that he’s chosen to become a human again, that problem has been removed and there’s nothing holding him back from pursuing the relationship he wants with Fabrizio.

I always knew that I wanted Ermal to end up staying on Earth. It was pretty much the only way to guarantee a happy ending since the alternative…I mean, think about it for three seconds. That would have been so devastating to the point that I don’t think it would have counted as a happy ending. When I first started the story, I hadn’t decided whether Ermal would become a human or stay as an angel at the end, but since immortality was such an important reason why he took so long to admit his feelings, I thought that having that spectre still looming over them would leave a bitter twist in what I wanted to be a simple happy ending. I’m a real sucker for those. Writers can put as many sad moments as they want into a story, but as a reader, I want everything turn out okay before the last page and that comes into my writing. Crucially I want the happy endings to be realistic for the plot and not just ‘we’re running out of time, end it with a pretty ribbon’ and I hope that I managed to achieve that.

So anyway, I thought that having Ermal become a human would be a nice way to ensure that they wouldn’t be separated on either plane of existence, which rids him of another worry that has been plaguing him throughout the story. But how to make it happen? I always planned for his backstory to tie in to Fabrizio’s children and the ending. The three of those were linked from the start, but I changed the details of what the atonement actually involved about three times.

I never wanted him to actually apologise for what he did because…well, it didn’t sit well with me that a child should be punished for taking revenge against the person who hurt him for so long and caused his death. I liked the idea that the angels provided this loophole for him- seems like the sort of charitable and merciful thing they should do, even if they have to be lawful good- and it answers the question of why he’s been an angel for so long. It’s not because he never grovelled and apologised. It’s simply because he spent countless years resenting his position and doing his job at the bare minimum standard he could get away with. He was told to look after a certain person and he did that to the letter, but all he had to do was take an interest in literally anyone else and he would have been judged worthy. It’s a bit like Dorothy having the power to go back to Kansas on her feet the whole time.

(Then again, I don’t blame him for becoming jaded. Paradise’s vetting system for deciding who gets a guardian angel needs work.)

Still, if he’d figured out the secret, he’d never have met Fabrizio and it’s really fitting that Anita was the one who changed the game. It didn’t only fulfil the terms of the deal, but probably exorcised a few demons as well.

I’m getting off my prescribed passage now.

All of that informs Fabrizio’s reaction. One of the very first things that Ermal opened up to him about is how he hates being an angel and wants to see his loved ones again. Obviously his definition of ‘loved one’ has expanded since then, but he never actually told Fabrizio. As far as he’s concerned, getting the key to Paradise is the best thing that’s ever happened to Ermal and he can’t wait to be gone. He’s also haunted by Ermal’s rejection in the hotel room and his threat to disappear if Fabrizio doesn’t back off. I’m getting off my prescribed passage again, but that was important. Ermal let his fears get the best of him and said things he didn’t mean, but Fabrizio believes he was completely serious. Let’s face it, Ermal has a precedent of disappearing into the ether when things don’t go his way. He did it on the morning after, showed up again to deliver an important message, and then vanished for a week. Fabrizio naturally puts the puzzle pieces together and presumes he was to blame for being too pushy with his feelings.

I feel sorry for him. He’s had such a bad time lately and he thought something good had finally happened, but no, Ermal has got his greatest wish and only came for a flying visit to be polite. At this point he fully expects to be left entirely alone again, but he still tries to send him off with good wishes. I think it shows just how much he loves him, that he’s dying inside, but still trying to put on a brave face because he wants Ermal to be happy even if it’s not with him.

There are also a few sentences in the passage that I particularly like, so I’ll talk about them too. I’ll go in chronological order:

“They never actually told me what the terms of the deal were and there was a lot of discussion that I didn’t follow, but I gather that it’s something to do with helping someone that it’s not my job to help. It makes me worthy or whatever, guardian angels are supposed to take an interest in all of humanity and not just the ones that they’re told to look after, something like that.”

Ermal’s part is pretty factual and just explaining what’s happened off-page to Fabrizio and the reader, but I think the way he speaks says so much about his character and his feelings about the situation. He starts off with a (no doubt sarcastic) remark that he was never told how he was actually supposed to atone, and then fully admits that he didn’t even listen to the meeting. He doesn’t really understand what happened, only that he succeeded in some way and was able to come back, which was all he wanted. I personally believe that he was furious to have been unexpectedly plucked off Earth and was far too busy worrying about Fabrizio, what he would think and how he would get back, to pay any attention whatsoever to the celestial council.

‘death knell in his heart’

I just picked that one small part out. I am a big fan of that turn of phrase and I probably use it too much, but I really think it’s perfect for that moment. The sound of a tolling bell brings me up short and seems to stop the world around me for a moment, and that’s just how Fabrizio feels. He doesn’t understand why Ermal is back, only that he is, and he’s cautiously hoping that there’s a way to make him stay when he hears that and *dong*. He’s not naïve and he knows Ermal has feelings for him, but he can’t compete with the one thing he’s always wanted, so in that moment he knows he’s going to lose him and the knell signals the death of his hopes.

‘The angel was looking at him with wide eyes, like a puppy expecting to be scolded.’

I like this because they’re having two different conversations. Fabrizio thinks Ermal is feeling sorry for leaving him and is hoping to be set free without too much drama, whereas Ermal is terrified that he’s going to be told to get out and never come back. Yes, he’s only told Fabrizio half the story, but he’s looking for some signal of welcome before he admits what he’s done. Fabrizio is a bleeding heart after all, and he doesn’t want to make him feel like he has to take him back because he has nowhere else to go. Instead Fabrizio swallows his pain and tries to give him what he thinks he wants- a farewell and a good luck.

‘He stood up and his legs felt weak for a reason that had nothing to do with muscles or bone.’

This is perhaps my favourite turn of phrase in the chapter. It’s a callback to the incident that brought them together in the first place and I like the idea of showing how his progress is so tied up with Ermal, that he makes him strong, and now that he’s about to lose him he feels weak again.

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hitchell-mope · 5 years

Text

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.

#disney descendants #descendants 3 #anti harry x chad #anti harry x doug #anti harry x jane #harry x jay #anti harlos #anti malvie #anti haudrey #anti benrry #anti harry hook #anti audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #anti chad charming

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ba1aphoebeowen · 5 years

Text

Essay Research

How does Marceline’s upbringing affect her relationships in Adventure Time?

The above is my current idea for an essay question, however after some difficultly in writing a draft with this in mind, I am considering changing it. We have a group tutorial session next week where we will be able to discuss other questions that have to do with this character and the idea of child psychology - whatever I do change it to I still want to relate it to Marceline’s childhood.

Outline Research

Marceline Research:

Marceline as a character is supposed to come off as quite the teenager, being ‘cool’ and looked up to by the younger protagonist Finn. Her aesthetic design is meant to come across this way, but behind this are certainly layers of personality and backstory that made her into what she is now. She may have started off as a ‘typical teenager’, but has developed into much more as the show has progressed.

·Art of Ooo: - Pendleton Ward on Marceline: “Girls own more than just one outfit”. Marceline wears a variety of outfits throughout the show, all keeping to a ‘teenage’ theme. Some rebellious, others elegant. - Rebecca Sugar on Marceline: “She seems bad, but she’s anxious and doesn’t have a high opinion on herself” “Tries to hurt people on purpose because that’s less painful than hurting people by accident” - Oliva Olson on Marceline: “The World sees confidence, maybe even a hint of intimidation or haughtiness. Yet, deep down, there’s always a reason she got that way. She has lots of layers.”

· Adventure Time Pitch Bible: - “Marceline is a rocker girl. She’s lived for centuries and has developed a disregard for social conventions” “Throws life to the wind” “Finn does NOT approve of Marceline’s mischievous prankster ways, but he’s totally captivated by her butt kicking appeal”

Adventure Time Episode Analysis

Many of Marceline’s relationships are quite rocky, especially at the beginning of the show. She starts off as very antagonistic toward the protagonists in her first appearance, and from that point has either teasing or negative relationships with other characters. These relationships are, however, addressed and developed in a serialised fashion and these relationships become a lot more layered.

I Remember You - Reveal of Marceline and Ice King’s relationship

This episode starts on the character of Ice King, the supposed villain of the show up to this point, singing to his penguin. He was to write a song to ‘get babes’, so goes to visit Marceline, someone he knows is proficient in this field.

His arrival is unexpected, and when Marceline sees him, all she says is “no”, quietly. She furthers their first interaction with anger, telling the Ice King that she had, on a previous occasion, to “not come around [her]”. She continues to be angry with him, wanting him out of her house, until she sees him struggling with his cables and starts to feel pity for him. When Finn and Jake enter to take him away, she decides to let him stay.

They start off with a song where Ice King talks about princesses and his favourite, Princess Bubblegum. He then gets upset as he lingers on how alone he is. Marceline starts to get uncomfortable at this point. To stop him from destroying her house in his sadness, Marceline tells him to “stop acting like this” and to “stop acting crazy”. He pushes her and instantly regrets it, apologising and getting out of her way”. This leads on to a short song by Marceline where she says things like “I’d like to help you, but I don’t know if I can”, “you know I’m actually glad to see you.” Ice King takes this the wrong way and tries to kiss her, and she tries bringing up his past life. Some of the clippings of newspapers he brought had images of him “before the war”.

Using some notes Simon wrote during the war, they sing a final song focusing on Simon’s sadness at how crazy he’s becoming due to the crown. Marceline gets some insight into what Simon, her parental figure, was feeling during the worst time of his life – slowly losing his memory of her whilst trying to save her. “Please forgive me for whatever I do when I don’t remember you”.

This episode is the first to show Marceline and Ice King’s relationship in more detail and gives a good overview to it. When Marceline was young, for whatever reason, she was left alone on Earth in the remnants of the Mushroom War. Simon finds her and takes care of her for as long as he can before the effects of the crown drive him to insanity, and at this point, he leaves too. From this we can determine that Marceline was left alone without a caregiver for two stretches of her life where she desperately needed one.

More of their relationship during Marceline’s childhood is explored in the episode “Simon and Marcy”. Here we can see Simon’s drift into madness as he uses the crown to keep them safe. Due to their past, Marceline feels melancholic toward Ice King, wishing that he would remember her as she does him. Later in the show, she gets the chance to talk to Simon again, and they reconcile this issue for the moments they can be together. This happens in the episode “Betty”, where she sacrifices an important thing to her in order to help him fulfil his final wish.

It came from the Nightosphere - Reveal of Marceline’s father

This episode starts with Finn and Marceline singing a song together, where Marceline sings a strange song about her father eating her fries, giving it a very sad tone. “Daddy do you even love me, well I wish you’d show it ‘cause I wouldn’t know it.” In this first scene we can already see some of Marceline’s relationship with her father.

She wants him to care, but she doesn’t seem to want to put in the effort to see him, so Finn does it for her. Hunson Abadeer, Marceline’s father, introduces himself by trying to eat Finn’s soul and has an evil aura to him in general. He then leaves to devour the souls of everyone in Ooo – Marceline seems indifferent to this issue, and instead just wants to get her axe bass back, which her father stole.

Although Marceline is angry with Finn for bringing her father there, they have a light-hearted relationship throughout this episode “Marceline, drop the Finn bomb!”.

Marceline attacks her father to get her bass back, but when he says, “you can’t destroy me”, she stops. “I don’t want to destroy you, look, just stay out of my life!”. She gives up on attacking and talks to Finn and says “I just want my dad to care about me”.

They continue to face Hunson until Finn gets to the point where he gets the axe out of his grip, and Marceline gets it back, and the interactions between her and her father at this victory reflect a teenager / father relationship “in your face dad!” “Give back that axe Marceline! You don’t respect it enough”. They end this exchange by walking away from each other, and Finn tries to keep them together by playing the song Marceline sings at the start of the episode.

“Marceline, do you really feel this way? Of course, I love you.” As they reconcile, Finn finishes his mission by stabbing Hunson to release the souls he’s eaten and sends him back to the Nightosphere. Marceline’s mad at him for embarrassing her, but they end on a friendly note.

From this episode we can gather that Marceline and Hunson’s relationship is complicated but is also familiar, in the way that it’s a teenager and parent relationship. They no longer see eye to eye at all, especially since being separated by different dimensions, and due to a fry eating incident, Marceline feels like her dad no longer cares about her. She would rather pretend he didn’t exist, but still lets her feelings about him eat away at her. Hunson doesn’t seem to notice much tension between them, and while he feels like she doesn’t respect certain family values – such as the axe that was passed down to her – he still loves her and doesn’t see that she questions that. He’s loving but distant.

They interact further in other episodes. We see that in the past it was Simon that looked after Marceline when she was abandoned as a child, and we must question where her father was in the scenario. In a flashback clip in “Marcy & Hunson”, much further on in the show, we see that when Simon had to leave Marceline, he sent Hunson to care for her in his place. In this flashback, he shows no regard for the time that Marceline must have spent alone and acts as if they were already acquainted. In this episode he also shows extreme pride in Marceline’s concert performance but doesn’t realise his boundaries.

Marceline’s relationship with her father is distant. As her only biological family in the show, you would think they would be closer, but there was no attachment to him as a child. He was always just some random guy that popped in and out of her life and didn’t give her the emotional support she needed growing up.

Ketchup - Background to Marceline’s mother

This episode features just Marceline and BMO. It starts off with BMO showing up to Marceline’s house to fight a vampire threat that had already been dealt with, but Marceline finds something else for them to do. She has an old USB that BMO can help her investigate, and whilst it scans, they tell some stories. Animation wise, these are very stylised. BMO’s story has a vert fantastical twist to it, demonstrating their childish attitudes.

Marceline tells a story about her and Princess Bubblegum, and their relationship as best friends, and the recent events in the show.

The USB then reveals its contents, and we see some images, the most important being one of Marceline with her mother. Throughout the show, we don’t get to see much of Marceline’s mother at all, and while she doesn’t reveal anything about their relationship, BMO creates a story with the picture. The story they create suggests that the mother could only be with Marceline for a short time, but she had to leave after a certain period. In response, Marceline says “I think I’ve heard a story like that, a long, long time ago”.

As stated, we don’t see much of Marceline’s mother throughout the show, the most notable other appearance being in “Everything Stays”, where she and a child Marceline are seen in what seems to be a mobile home in the middle of some fields. Marceline’s mum just finishes talking about how she met Hunson and tells Marceline to sleep. She complains that her dreams are too “weird” to sleep, and her mother responds that “something weird might just be something familiar viewed from a different angle, and that’s not scary, right?”

Marceline’s relationship with her maternal mother was short-lived, and while it seemed like she only had her mother there at the time, this area of her childhood seemed okay. But Marceline only has her mother, it seems, which would have created a lot of dependency on her throughout this time. It looks to be before the war started, so before Simon finds her alone, giving some more context as to what must have happened at this time. Marceline’s mother, whether willing or not, was the first person that she cared for to leave her.

What was Missing - Relationship to Princess Bubblegum

This episode is fairly early in the show, with quite a simple scenario – a range of character have something that was very important to them stolen by a ‘door lord’, and they all work together to get it back. In the end, they must perform a song as a band to open the door and get their stuff back. Marceline, being the musician of the group, starts the attempts by singing a song that seems directed at Princess Bubblegum, talking about how she wants to, effectively, kill her.

When PB complains, she grows agitated and says “you don’t like that? Or do you just not like me!”. The song she sings now describes how she’s not perfect enough for PB and hints at an earlier relationship where they ended on bad terms. “I’m just your problem”.

This song ends when Marceline gets very deep into her emotions, and decides to pull back, reverting to more vulgar lyrics that suggest killing PB rather than making up with her.

In the original episode, Marceline goes as far as to spit on PB, causing her to try and leave. Finn pulls everyone back together for one last shot at opening the door, singing a song about their friendship.

When the door does open, it’s revealed that PB’s important item was a band shirt that Marceline had given her a long time ago, something she now wears as pjs.

Up until this point in the show, Marceline and Princess Bubblegum’s relationship was portrayed as teasing and mean, but this episode gave this more context, that something had happened. In future episodes, like “Varmints”, we discover that PB got very busy with creating and managing her candy kingdom, and didn’t have time for Marceline anymore, which is most likely what caused the rift in their relationship. In the series finale “Come along with me”, their relationship is fully reconciled, and they kiss, confirming that they had a romantic relationship in the end.

Marceline spends a lot of the show pushing PB away and not wanting to get too emotionally involved with her again. In the episode “Sky Witch”, she goes to PB for help recovering her childhood toy, but tries to keep it professional – PB was just the only one that could help, that was all.

Stakes (Miniseries) as a whole - Reveal of Marceline’s mother and growing up

In this episode, we get a few flashes into Marceline’s past. We start off with her mother and a young Marceline, who wants to play, but her mother tells her it’s instead nap time. Marceline complains that her dreams are too weird to sleep, and her mother comforts her, saying that “all dreams are weird”, and begins to sing a song:

Let’s go in the garden,you’ll find something waiting Right there where you left it lying upside down When you finally find it, you’ll see that it’s faded The other side is lighter when you turn it around Everything stays, right where you left it Everything stays, but it still changes Ever so slightly, daily and nightly In little ways, where everything stays

We then move on into the future, where Marceline has lost her mother and now only has Simon. He’s preparing to leave, seeing himself as too dangerous to be near Marceline anymore. Marceline doesn’t want him to go. We then see a teenage Marceline, hunting vampires. She’s fighting for moral good here, but still has these violent tendencies.

The same teenage Marceline is then seen meeting humans and being very friendly but not quite fitting in, the people seeing her as an evil vampire. She still seeks their approval though, and wants to help them. This takes some time, and she eventually becomes friends with them after they recognize their connection through music. She continues to live with these humans to help and protect them from vampires. She wants to rid them of their threats to keep them there, because for whatever reason she can’t go with them. This accumulates in a fight between her and the vampire king - the humans lose trust for her after this, and she becomes immortal.

Throughout this series of episodes, we see Marceline addressing her vampirism and wanting to be rid of it. She’s seen history repeating itself over and over, and doesn’t want to be around for it anymore - she wants a normal, human lifespan, even if it means eventually perishing.

“Some bad things happened to me when I was little. When I became a vampire I was a messed up kid. Now it’s a thousand years later and I’m still messed up”

Throughout this mini series, Marceline has multiple dreams addressing her feelings toward the current situation, the first of which shows a distinct wish to not be a vampire anymore, and to separate herself from it. She feels as if this is her identity though, and in the dream her body breaks apart.

In another episode, we see a bit more of Marceline’s past without Simon. As a roughly 10-12 year old child, she had to fend for herself (find herself food, build herself a shelter etc). Other people still didn’t want to interact with her at this time.

#character research

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tatertotmaster · 5 years

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Midnight Escape

Hello! So a couple years back, I came up with a DnD character that I’ve been using for a while now. I spent plenty of time working on his backstory and wanted to share it when I thought “Well that would be kind of boring wouldn’t it?” So, in order to establish his personality, bonds, and flaws I’ve written a short story from his past. This is the story of Niyamaya Al Corvea.

Footsteps.

They echo throughout the empty hall. Right outside my room.

A candlelight shines under my door, flickering.

The sound of footsteps come to a halt, yet the light still shines. I hear a latch opening and my door creaking. I lay silently in my bed, my eyes closed. Listening. Waiting.

The door closes and the light moves away from under my door. The footsteps begin to move down the hall, eventually disappearing completely. I move away my blankets and timidly get out of bed. My boots would make too much noise, and my cloak would hinder my movement, so I leave them behind. I quickly put on a shirt, my pants, and the necklace Day made for me. I take Willow’s trinket for luck and the Old Man's pebble for wisdom. I approach the window and pull the curtains when…

It’s Raining. I pause, looking blankly outside, anger and frustration welling up inside of me. The rain would make for good cover, but my plans of sneaking out the window are ruined. The edges are gilded with metals, easily slippery, I wouldn’t mind a three story fall as a child but now I’m grown. I break easier.

I mutter a curse and start pacing in my room. This means I have to sneak through the mansion and go through the main hall. “Impossible.” I mutter, and it is, even for me. The hall is too long and is filled with guards patrolling around, and the gates are closed during these hours. But what other exits are there!? There’s a tree that’s right outside of the window in Julio’s chambers, and he’s off on an expedition. “But it’s locked.” Damnit, well, there’s the guard tower… “So I can get caught easily, great idea.” The kitchen? “Full of servants.” The cellar? “Full of guards.” Well it can’t be that bad I mean it shouldn’t be- “drunk guards.” Oh.

I’m not really making this easy on myself, huh?

WAIT! Julio’s study. It’s perfect! He never uses it, it’s never locked, and it has bushes right under the window to cushion my fall! “The means of getting there aside, doesn’t Peter usually use Julio’s study to read for the entirety of the night?” Any other suggestions?

Both me and I pause.

That’s the moment I realize I’ve been talking to myself again. It’s decided, the study it is. I start to plan, first the hallway, take a right, avoid mother’s bedchambers by taking a left, and I’m at the main hall, from there, get to the left wing, go down the hall with the ugly carpet and it’s the mahogany door with the silver handle. Distasteful but oh well, no time to redecorate, the forest awaits! I just need to…

Stop. That’s what I need to do. Stop. I hear footsteps again, the candlelight comes closer. I don’t move, I don’t make a sound. The footsteps stop and the candlelight flickers under my door again.

Not a sound besides the raindrops outside.

“Niya?”

It’s Phil. One of the more lenient guards, but he seems to know when I’m up to no good. Well, no point in denying it now…

“Yeeeees?”

“... You know your mother has given me orders in your father’s absence to not let you leave at night, yeah?”

“I’m well aware of my mother’s ruling Phil, thank you. Also, please don’t refer to Julio as my father, our relationship is strictly professional.”

I begin to lightly make my way to the door.

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry Niyamaya, it’s just that… you’re mother stated that any guard on watch that let you slip past would be stripped of rank and be on latrine duty for a month.”

“You know how she gets Phillip, she’s never serious about it though.”

“You should have seen her Niya, she was towering over us when she said that. A-and she seemed serious this time”

“Phil, she towers over everyone.”

“You know what I mean Niya, can you just please behave for one night?”

I place my hand on the handle.

“If I start behaving now, I might get addicted.”

“Niya I swear-”

Without warning I swing open the door and shove him to the ground. He falls down, dropping the candle, causing it to go out. I attempt to sprint away but he grabs me by the tail, causing me to stop dead in my tracks and let out a yelp. I look back with anger, tears welling in my eyes. He looks at my tail, looks back up to me, and before he can mutter an apology I kick him square in the face. He doesn’t let go, in fact, his grip tightens.

“Niya wai-” I kick him in the crotch with all my weight. He exhales sharply and lets go of my tail. I think about apologising for a split second, seeing as he’s close to throwing up, but decide against it, beginning to sprint away. He calls out for guards but at this point, his voice is too meek to be heard. Good, the delay will give me more time. I rush through the halls and eventually reach the left wing, where Julio’s studies are. I dive in, slam the door shut, lock it, and just to be safe, place a chair at the entrance.

“Good evening.”

I freeze. Of course, Peter. He wouldn’t miss a rainy day to read in.

“Unfortunately my eyes aren’t as functional as they used to be. Might I inconvenience you by inviting you before me? The fireplace is quite nice this time of night.”

Obnoxiously polite as always, the old fool. I slowly walk towards the fireplace and seat myself in the padded chair in front of him. His eyes are fixated on his book, and only glances for a second to acknowledge me.

“Ah, the young Marquis Al Corvea, I couldn’t tell if those were horns or messy hair in the dark. Although, you seem to have both at this time.”

He chuckles at his own joke.

I cross my legs, “Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to brush my hair, I’m late enough as it is. And please don’t call me Marquis, we both know that title is no longer mine.”

“I was not aware your mother usurped your birthright.”

“No, Peter-”

“Ah, so you’re saying the title has been revoked.”

“No, I-”

“Did the bandit tribes take over?”

“They aren’t-”

“Complete anarchy?”

“Master Scholar, you don’t have to remind me how complicated my current situation is, now please drop the subject before I-”

He slams the book shut and looks at me.

“You what?”

We look at each other in silence, the book resting in his lap. He scans me, looking at my horns, my wrinkled shirt, and my bare feet. He then looks deep into my eyes.

There’s a loud knocking at the door.

“Run, little tiefling.”

I spring up from my seat and run to the window. The door bursts open and guards flood into the room. The window is latched. No time. I glance back to see Peter reading his book again, unfazed by the commotion, and the guards closing in. In an instant, I throw myself to the window, smashing it to pieces. For a moment, I am floating, pieces of glass hovering around me.

I fall hard on the ground. I’ve jumped too far to land in the bushes. The air leaves my body and pain begins to flow through my back, into my limbs. I lay there, eyes wide, gasping for breath, the rain sputtering all over me. I see the guards pile on the window, shouting things. I don’t care. I need to run. I need to get away. I look up to the full moon with teary eyes, pleading my case in silence.

A warm feeling fills my mind, my body begins to listen, I begin to move.

I can breathe again. I can think beyond pain. I hear them coming. No time. I need to get away.

I need to run.

I see torchlight flickering in the distance. They’re coming for me, but they’re slow and I am not. I stumble to my feet and start running. My arms and legs are numb but it doesn’t stop me. I run.

I run like a child not afraid of falling, headfirst, into the night. The wind howls, lightning cracks, the guards yell…

And I laugh.

I make my way through the gardens, jump fences, climb walls. I laugh like a child as I make my way to the forest. Even as I’m far away from the mansion, even as the torchlight of guards have lost me in the night, I run, and I laugh. I enter the forest, jumping across creeks, climbing past fallen trees. I don’t stop running, and I don’t stop laughing. I jump, I skip, I do twirls in the air. I keep running and laughing.

I reach a clearing. I stop.

It has stopped raining. Silence…

“Day?” I whisper. “Are you there?”

Nothing. I look around.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I had complications.”

Nothing.

“Day?”

“...yes?” I hear her behind me.

I don’t turn around “Hello Day.”

“Hello Niya.”

“Are you angry I’m late?”

“Never. I’m just glad you came.”

“Nonetheless, I’m sorry. I should’ve come sooner.”

There’s a pause. “You’re hurt.”

I look down to see a piece of glass has ripped through my pants and lodged itself near my knee.

“You’ll have to see aunt Willow sometime...”

“I know, I’ll have to stay here for a while anyway, wait for things to cool down.”

“I thought you didn’t like the cold, Niya.”

I chuckle as her tiny arms wrap around my waist and she buries her face in the back of my shirt.

“Welcome back.”

“It’s good to be back.” I close my eyes and smell the scents of the forest. “It’s good to be back.”

#writing #dnd #dndcharacter #short story #fantasy

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