#adhd symptoms that aren't discussed

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Heat Intolerance

This disability pride month I'd like to talk about heat intolerance. Because honestly although it's not the first health issue that presented symptoms in my life. It was the first time I was like "I don't think my body works right".

And honestly given disability pride month is during one of the hottest months in the year. It seems fitting. Especially because there's a lot of disabilities and medications that cause it.

What is heat intolerance?

Simply speaking it's the inability for the body to regulate it's temperatures especially in hot settings to cool itself down.

Why is awareness important?

Because gaslighting people or worse not providing them a place to cool down just because you "feel fine" is extremely fucking dangerous.

What are the medicines that can cause heat intolerance?

Antihistamines (Allergy medications) . Decongestants (Sudafed or any medication that has the D at the end of it). Stimulants (ADHD medications. Steroids. Caffeine.) Beta-blockers (blood pressure medications). Overactive bladder treatment. Psychiatric medications (including but not limited to medications for depression and anxiety). Pain relievers. Antibiotics.

What medical conditions can cause heat intolerance?

EDS (Elhers-Danlos syndrome). Autism. ADHD. Migraines. Brain/spinal-cord injury. Sensory processing disorder. Chronic fatigue syndrome. Endocrin problems. POTS. Menopause. Hypothyroidism. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Multiple sclerosis. Mental health disorders.

What should I do if I suspect I have heat intolerance?

Reduce time outside during hot months. Keep your electrolytes up. Drink plenty of water. Stay out of the sun whenever possible if outside. Be aware of the symptoms of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Clothes that are best worn for heat intolerance. Loose lightweight breathable fabrics. Natural fibers. Long sleeves that protect from sunburn as sunburns will increase your risk. Light clothes that reflect light. Wide brimmed hats that shade the face and neck.

Cool. So what are those symptoms I'm supposed you be looking for?

Headaches. Excessive fatigue. Mood changes. Muscle cramping or weakness. Nausea/ vomiting. Rapid heartbeat. Excessive sweating or not sweating at all.

When should I do to the doctor?

If you suspect you have heat intolerance you can go to your PCP to discuss what medications you may be on and what you can do about it. Otherwise, please go to the emergency room if you have symptoms of heat stroke.

This is good information and all but why are you making this post?

To raise awareness. Not just for the people that have it but weren't aware of what it was called. But for all of the idiots that tried to gaslight me when I was in school because I was like "I don't think this is normal. Every time we do our mile run outside I vomit all over the place but other kids aren't doing that."

Also because people always blame me for over heating if I wear long sleeves or pants. I always like to take notes from what people in the middle east wear because they literally live in the excessive heat and spend long hours in the excessive heat. Often in clothing that covers most of their body. They've gotta know what they're doing, right?

I have some type of xenophobic comment about why people from the middle east cover up

Shut the fuck up 😊

-fae

#disability pride #disability pride month #disability awareness #heat intolerance

[thedisablednaturalist]

Guys I get that *some* mental illnesses get worse if you push through symptoms. My post was about the overall mental health movement and because most mental illnesses benefit from exercise/pushing through anxieties and taking care of yourself most people assume that physical disabilities/chronic illnesses all benefit too and that rest is bad for us. That if we can't take care of ourselves we aren't trying hard enough. I am not saying people should push through fucking epilepsy. Every reply on that post is some sort of "um but you're wrong about *specific illness*, not derailing! Just making people aware about mental illness!" And now that post, and my words, are getting turned into positivity and awareness not for physical disabilities, but for mental illness. Even taking my words: Respect our Rest, for autism and adhd. Not that positivity for this is bad, but that the post is becoming co-opted. I didn't want to say anything at first because I did mention mental illness in that post and I always encourage discussion, but this is getting ridiculous. Everyone is now talking about mental illness and not physical disabilities.

#wrenfea.exe #like you can't just derail and then say not derailing #im gonna block anyone who does that from now on #im tempted to make a guide for these people to follow like HOW TO NOT DERAIL AND MAKE A POST ALL ABOUT YOU #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #cripplepunk #chronic illness

[itsaspectrumcomic]

I have a question, and idk how well it’s going to come across but I’m trying to at least get words down

I think I might be autistic, but my mom says I developed like a normal child. I know having adhd can be linked to a higher chance of being somewhere on the autism spectrum, and vise versa, but I don’t really have problems with eye contact (it’s only very little I do) and I’m not quite sure.

I’ve looked into it, and I know a lot of the symptoms overlap, but I’m wondering if maybe I was misdiagnosed with ADHD or have both? Cause I do sometimes have trouble with tone and faces, but I can usually detect that. I also sometimes want to break down because of everything being too much, but it gives me a headache instead of me actually breaking down.

I’ve been wondering for a few months atp and I’m really confused

Sorry if the wording came out weird but I’m not the best articulating my thoughts into words

Hey, I'm definitely not qualified to diagnose you with either ADHD or autism, but if you relate to autistic traits and experiences it's a possibility - parents aren't necessarily going to notice traits when you're growing up due anything from lack of knowledge to being neurodivergent themselves and assuming everyone had those experiences. If you're wondering about how you were as a child, it might help to look at old school reports to see what your teachers thought about you.

Stress can cause headaches without it necessarily being a meltdown or shutdown, but I'm afraid there's no way for me to tell what you're experiencing from here.

My recommendation if you're wondering about it is to discuss your thoughts with doctor, a therapist, a counsellor etc who can give you professional advice, and maybe take some of the quizzes at Embrace Autism if you haven't already :)

#ask #pics-and-fanfics #autism diagnosis #advice #adhd #its a spectrum

[dykefaggotry]

not sure how much traction this will get but! I just got top surgery friday and here's a short list of things I either wish I was told or wish was talked about more that might help some others!

you have to be so so so careful with what meds you take in the month/weeks leading up to surgery. I fucked up and got mine delayed by over a month because my adhd mixed up ibuprofen and tylenol. check the packet they give you a million times and if you're unsure about absolutely anything, ask. but in general: tylenol is the only pain med that's okay to take in the week leading up to surgery. be honest about alcohol/drug use because there's specific instructions for those as well.

a lot of insurances will need you to make sure it's coded as gender affirming surgery rather than plastic surgery or they won't cover as much of it. make sure you ask your insurance if there's anything like that that might screw you over later.

if you have a chronic condition like I do (type 1 diabetes) you and your surgeon might find it best if you stay overnight. if not, you'll likely be sent home day of so make sure you have a responsible adult that can drive you to and from your surgery.

if you are fat, that is totally okay and there's plenty of surgeons that will work with you. however, make sure your surgeon/hospital doesn't have a bmi/weight limit. it's bullshit and completely unfair, but you may have to look elsewhere (I'm lucky and my surgeon was amazing about that). besides, they probably aren't very good at their job if they have that and you'll find better care with another surgeon anyway

speaking of being fat and getting top surgery, ofc it's all personal preference, but I'd really recommend considering leaving some fat on your chest. fat cis men have some fat on their chests and it's easy for it to look concave if your surgeon removes all the fat. discuss some options w your surgeon and look up post op pics of other fat people that have had top surgery to find stuff similar to what you're going for!

they are going to put you on strong pain meds after, probably oxycodone. if you have a history of addiction or a family history, be aware of that and talk to your doctor about other options if you would rather not take it. if you've never taken oxy before, nausea is a super common symptom so you can totally ask your doctor to prescribe you an anti nausea medication to take alongside it. it doesn't always 100% help so I would also recommend making sure you don't take it on an empty stomach.

honestly, for me the pain hasn't reached above a 6. everyone is different ofc but it's a very dull achey sort of pain. the worst parts, according to me and others I've known who've gotten top surgery, are: nausea, itching, fatigue, constipation, the drainage tubes tugging (and if you don't have gauze under them like I do, chafing), and for me I've started to get back pain from having to sleep sitting up

have a ton of pillows on hand because you're going to have to sleep sitting almost the entire way up on your back. it sucks.

have easy to open and grab snacks piled up! even if you have someone around to help you, sometimes you won't have an appetite for a whole meal and it's always nice to still be independent

speaking of constipation, invest in some milk of magnesia or ask for medication to be prescribed to help you with it. the anasthesia and oxy are gonna work together to make you miserable on that front.

drink plenty of water! make it fun w packets if you have to but your body just went through major trauma and you're going to need it

every surgeon/hospital has different instructions. I see a lot of these posts and they'll list certain things as total fact that are completely contradictory to what I've been told and what my boyfriend was told when he got his. this isn't to say either one is correct, but in general take these posts with a grain of salt and go with whatever your surgeon/hospital instructs you to do. especially as far as exercise, arm movement, showering, etc is concerned.

#top surgery

[just-a-silly-clownguy]

description

CW: this contains swearing (people sensitive to swearing are on my DNI list due to my tendency to use curse words) and some gifs may be overstimulating or triggering to some people and include bright, colourful and surreal imagery, please don't view if these are in any way harmful to you.

My name is Moth, I named myself after a hyperfixation! :3

I'm still figuring myself out tbh so I'm probably gonna discuss that on my profile.

my pronouns are they/he as well as a long list of neos and variations of that, I am transmasc nonbinary and aroace. when I'm done, I'll add the link to my carrd and pronouns.cc.

I'm a british minor and artist, I am alterhuman/nonhuman (I use the two terms interchangeably but if I shouldn't please tell me) and I don't really categorise myself into any sort of label like spiritual, physical, psychological etc. I just categorise myself as nonhuman and alterhuman, I'm very alternative and consider myself a part of many subcultures but I mostly align myself with punk, I use xenogenders, xenoidentities and neopronouns, I am disabled (chronic pain + a bunch of other symptoms of shite) and I'm neurodivergent.

I like to draw, read, write and listen to music

fandom list

demon slayer

spiderverse

riordanverse (mostly MCGA because MCGA is the best rick riordan series)

sanrio

DDLC

furry

vocaloids

hilda

steven universe

gravity falls

my little pony

avatar the last airbender

hyperfixation/special interest list

psychology

moths

mythology (mostly greek)

criminology

music

vocaloids

spiderverse

demon slayer

riordanverse (mostly MCGA)

possible cladokin/therian

therian(thrope)

otherkin

otherhearted

synpath

Theriotypes

bluepoint ragdoll cat

white's treefrog

carrion crow

clado-fungus (possible)

fox/some other type of canine (possible)

Kintypes

clown

angel

demon

dragon

clado-fungus (possible)

fae (possible)

cryptid (possible)

the star shape (possible)

the colour yellow (possible)

the colour pink (possible)

Hearttypes

moth

cats

minecraft endermen

deerfoxes

Synpaths

most of these are connected to my mental health struggles/trauma in some way

Angel Dust (hazbin hotel)

Husker (hazbin hotel)

Charlie Moringstar (hazbin hotel)

Mitsuri Kanroji (demon slayer)

Shinobu Kochou (demon slayer)

Muichiro Tokito (demon slayer)

Sanemi Shinazugawa (demon slayer)

Inosuke Hashibira (demon slayer)

Nezuko Kamado (demon slayer)

Tanjiro Kamado (demon slayer)

Natsuki (doki doki literature club)

Sayori (doki doki literature club)

Yuri (doki doki literature club)

Hilda (hilda)

Frida (hilda)

Magnus Chase (riordanverse)

Alex Fierro (riordanverse)

Nico Di Angelo (riordanverse)

Will Solace (riordanverse)

Leo Valdez (riordanverse)

Calypso (riordanverse)

Spinnel (steven universe)

Mabel (gravity falls)

Dipper (gravity falls)

rainbowdash (my little pony)

fluttershy (my little pony)

pinkie pie (my little pony)

twilight sparkle (my little pony)

diagnosed/acknowledged things

autism

dyspraxia

hypermobility

chronic pains

anxiety

depression(?)

undiagnosed/possible things

ADHD

hEDS

DPDR or some other type of dissociative disorder.

depression(?)

PTSD

DPD

do not interact: zoos (unless trying to recover), "MAPs"/pedos, groomers, pro/com/darkshippers, loli/shota-con, DDLG/DDLB and similar kinks that sexualise adult/child relationships, anti-xeno/neopronouns, anti-neo/xenogenders, anti-self diagnosis (with heavy research), self diagnosed without any research, anti-LGBT/MOGAI, homophobes, transphobes, FETRAH, racists, fascists, anti-alter/nonhumans, against any religion (includes satanism), anti-athiests, ableists, classists, transid/transx, radqueers, abusers/abusive people, raypissts/seggs offenders (idk if I'll get banned if I don't sensor those words but I wanna be accessible for screen readers), makes fun of/judges others for interests, refuses to use tone indicators, uses slurs that are against communities they aren't a part of, "dark humour" (racist jokes, homophobic jokes, grape jokes, saying slurs, jokes making fun of others' trauma etc. are not dark humour, they are just insensitive), AI "artists", anti-recovery, uses mental conditions/neurodivergency as a joke and/or insult (e.g. "I'm so delulu" without experiencing delusions, "I have so many personalities" without having OSDD-1 or DID, using autistic as an insult, uses the words sociopath and/or psychopath as a way of calling someone a bad person, "I'm so OCD" as a way to describe being tidy without actually having OCD), gatekeepers, fakeclaimers, conservative "punks", bullies and harasses others, TERFs, supports all of the previous things listed, NSFW blogs, only trying to convert others to a religion, sensitive to swearing (I swear a lot and do not censor it or wish to censor it), under 12, only likes characters like Mitsuri for their sexual aspects, Miguel O'Hara (ATSV) focused blogs.

This really makes you see how many shitty people there are in the world, I hate how long this list is.

definitely interact: alter/nonhumans, neurodivergent, disabled, artists, in the same fandoms as me, musicians, objectum, alternative, anarchist, MOGAI/LGBTQIA2S++, mutuals, supports all of the above.

thin ice: over 16, recovering pedos, Miguel O'Hara (ATSV) fans (he reminds me of my dad's more toxic behaviours).

my triggers

if we're mutuals please atleast TW these things.

(key: not always triggering and/or depends on context and situations, constantly triggering)

loud noises

flashing/strobe lights

doors slamming

angry shouting/raised voices (especially if they're male voices)

certain sexual language (especially the word "eat" in a sexual context)

sexual and nude imagery (especially of genitals).

discussions of grooming and pedophillia

depictions, mentions and discussions of self harm

boundaries

do not purposely send or show me any content that portrays the following in any sort of positive light:

Miguel O'Hara from ATSV Elvis Presley anger issues any form of SA weird age gaps (e.g. 14 and 17, 16 and 21 as well as blatantly obvious grooming) minors doing sexual things especially with adults. domestic violence most things related to people listed in my DNI

don't try and push me to share things that I haven't already willingly shared, you can ask questions but if I delete or don't respond to your asks or tell you I'm not comfortable with answering it please don't push me, I probably have a reason, usually I will specify if I'm comfortable with people asking me questions and which ones I'm comfortable with in posts.

don't use the pronouns she/her or similar pronouns while referring to me.

I'm OK with people making sexual jokes with me but I am incredibly uncomfortable with people genuinely discussing sexual subjects with me unless I have said otherwise.

don't debate me on my DNI, triggers and boundaries, I have them for many reasons and a lot of them are in some way related to trauma and mental health.

my music taste

genres

hyperpop

punk

emo

metal

goth

scenecore (I know the difference between scene and scenecore, I do not consider myself to be scene)

vocaloid

grunge

alternative pop

80s pop

artists (any artists that I am aware of doing and saying bad things will be highlighted in red, I do not condone any of these actions or support them, I avoid listening to them on any form of media where they will be decently monetised, I am not saying I like the artists themselves, I'm merely saying I like the music they make. If there are any artists who have done bad things which are not highlighted, please tell me, I mostly just listen to the music and don't really research the artists so I will most likely be unaware of their actions.)

Insane Clown Posse

Pierce the Veil

6arelyhuman

Mindless Self Indulgence

Party Cannon

Metallica

Ramstein

Hatsune Miku

Maretu

Kikuo

DECO*27

GRLwood

Mommy Long Legs

Siouxsie and The Banshees

Bauhaus

Nirvana

Jack Stauber

alex g

The Smiths

TV girl

Melanie Martinez

Conan Grey

Queen

David Bowie

Choking Victim

The Crane Wives

Marina

Mitski

Fish In A Birdcage

Florence + The Machine

Bikini Kill

The Dresden Dolls

Daisy and the Scouts

Slayer

Mother Mother

The Cure

Ado

Rebzyyx

The Living Tombstone

CG5

The Orion Experience

Machine Girl

Odetari

songs

the masochism tango by Tom Lehrer

the stalker's tango by Autoheart

good old fashioned loverboy by Queen

starman by David Bowie

rebel rebel by David Bowie

hold on til may by Pierce the Veil

kind for a day by Pierce the Veil

oogie boogie wu by Insane Clown Posse

faster n harder by 6arelyhuman

salamander by DECO*27

volt tackle by DECO*27

drunk walk home by Mitski

savages by Marina

the garden by The Crane Wives

bird song by Florence + The Machine

Imma Kill U by Insane Clown Posse

duct taped to a flag pole by Party Cannon

molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

world is mine by Hatsune Miku

koinu no carnival by EHAMIC

the vampire by DECO*27

that unwanted animal by The Amazing Devil

this charming man by The Smiths

hayloft II by Mother Mother

pipopipo by Serani Poji

kara kara kara no kara by Kikuo

greedy greedy by KIKUO

dscf by DECO*27

aishite aishite aishite by Ado

daisy 2.0 (featuring Hatsune Miku) by Ashnikko

five nights at freddy's by The Living Tombstone

freakshow by Punkinloveee and H3artcrush

p3t by Femtanyl

kiss me <3 by Vampyx

4 morant (better luck next time) by Jeethz

mind brand by Maretu

links

xenoidentities

genders

carrd (not finished yet)

pronouns.cc (unfinished)

users to support if you can

stevenblogr needs help getting insulin, please donate (dollars) to his linktree if you can, his goal is $300.

type1diabeticqueen needs help getting insulin, please donate (dollars) to her linktree if you can, her goal is $450.

#clownkin #dragonkin #demonkin #angelkin #otherkin #therian #cat #frog #crow #theriotype #queer #lgbtqia #anti zoo #neurodivergency #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #autistic #artist #dyspraxia #sensory issues #hyperfixation #special interest #nonhuman #alterhuman #xenogenders #description #bio #music

[jedipoodoo]

Im not entirely sure if your asks are open or not so feel free to ignore this but i read your post about the batch with reader whos selectively mute and thats something i deal with and really related to so i was wondering if you would do the batch with someone who stims and it can vary from a small twitch to a stim that can be physically painful mine can be a small twitch or my head rolls back really fast and i usually end up smacking it against the wall pretty hard again feel free to ignore this if your not comfortable writing it thank you though for your other works im really enjoying them your writing style is amazing 😊

Notes: no warnings, gen fic (no implied romance), discussion of stims and stim toys, SFW, Wrecker has ADHD symptoms, neurodivergent Bad Batch, no use of Y/N.

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad you like my writing style!

"Oh hey!" Wrecker's hand shot out, cupping the back of your head before it could hit the wall.

"Careful, you could end up like me!" He grinned at you, pointing to the scar.

Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment beneath your helmet, your shoulders hunched in an effort to keep yourself from stimming and swinging your head back again.

"Thanks Wrecker," You mumbled.

Wrecker watched the tension in your muscles as you suppressed your usual urges to stimulate your body. He could fairly see your thoughts racing.

"Here," he handed you a little board covered in switches and dials.

"What's this?" You asked. You flipped a couple switches, but nothing happened. Several colorful wires hung off the side of the board, and a couple of them were plugged into outlets marked with the corresponding color.

"I get a little nervous when my hands aren't doing something. That's why I like lifting Gonky so much." He pointed his thumb at the passing GNK droid, and Gonky waddled a little bit faster to get past the two of you.

"I get really nervous if I don't shut down a bomb every once in a while, but coming across those doesn't happen very often anymore," He laughed, and you had to as well. At least that was one perk to being on the run, no diffusing bombs every other day.

"Tech and Echo put this together for me to help me when my brain needs the exercise," He twirled a few of the dials and flicked one of the knobs, turning on a couple of flashing lights.

"Echo called it a stimboard. One of his guys in the 501st had one like it."

Hesitantly, you flicked a couple more switches, even plugged and unplugged a few of the wires. You can see how Wrecker might find it entertaining.

"Thanks big guy, but I don't think this'll help me with my stims," You rubbed the back of your neck and handed it back to him.

"Well then we gotta find somethin' that will!"

"That's okay, I don't need- woah!" Wrecker grabbed your arm and yanked you out of your seat, pulling you into the cockpit with Tech and Echo.

"Do you boys think you could help us make a stimboard for them?" He asked.

Tech looked up from his datapad and adjusted his goggles, reminding you so much of the countless bespectacled doctors you'd seen throughout your childhood that you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Given their tics, it would be hard to make a board like yours for them," but he hummed thoughtfully.

"Maybe something like a massage gun? Something that can tap them on the back of their head without it breaking their skull?" Echo suggested.

"You guys don't have to-" You started, but they were already throwing out more ideas, and Wrecker's eyes were alight with such a stimulating distraction in the middle of hyperspace.

"What do you think?" Tech asked.

You sighed, but couldn't help a smile.

"Sounds great, guys."

#lizart writes #tbb wrecker #tbb tech #tbb echo #bad batch & reader #tbb wrecker & reader #hey look who finally wrote something #And it's a request of all things! #I promise I love getting requests idk why my body's been dragging itself over this for so long

[genericpuff]

Dude…You.. are truly a mean spirited person by the way you attack Rachel and her comic. I was hoping to see actual valid criticism on this blog that are good takes and respectful…but all I see is a savage, hate-mongering being; projecting your own personal fears on fictional Greek gods, with loads of malice; accusing RS of so many things that’s not even an issue in the slightest.. like bro are we reading the same story?? Bc I’d assume you’d dislocate your shoulders from all the reaching you do, to just cherry and nitpick the comic so much; at this point I think you’re dedicating your life’s work to shitting on this comic with asinine accusations?? hell, I get the comic aint perfect but the way y’all shit on it damn near has the same level of hate you’d normally have for a fucked up, white supremacist manifesto…. have you ever sought inner peace or?? what’s the problem,,,

Your views are truly horrid and y’all are why ppl are scared to come out with their own series bc of malicious people like you getting kicks of punching down an author and mocking them instead of being more civil with your views. Probably haven’t considered creators like RS with ADHD have RSD too huh… maybe haven’t considered how ppl with RSD got symptoms where it’s pretty difficult to take criticism…lmao.. aaaaand yet you antis are just as barbaric as obsessive LO stans and y’all just won’t leave well alone smfdh

Heaven help you fr. Hope you cease your obsessive hate for a fictional story and seek actual help than pouring all this hate on a book and pointing fingers at issues that’s nonexistent in the series.😒

Ooh yay it's been a while since I've gotten an ask calling me out. Love to see it :3

So here's the fun thing - I do have way less "spicy" takes on the comic (because let's face it, the definition of "valid" in this context is often... very subjective, I've seen people call the most respectful criticisms and reviews of LO "hate" plenty of times before) but I also just enjoy dunking on it because it's fun and it's how I engage with this comic that, believe it or not, I did genuinely used to love. I don't talk this much shit about comics I've never cared about. Boyfriends and Let's Play are also both godawful but I never loved them quite as much as I loved LO back when I used to read it religiously, so I just don't feel like talking about them as much as I do LO. Saturday nights used to be my favorite night of the week but they became dreadful after a while as my love for the series' drained relative to its decline. Now I have to find other things to look forward to on Saturdays, so I've gone ahead and made my own things, things that have rejuvenated the feelings I used to feel reading LO.

Here's another fun fact, in case you're new to Tumblr and don't know how it works - this is just my account that's dedicated solely to LO stuff. There are other things that I do besides shit-talking this comic and using it as fuel to create my own interpretations of it, but you don't see that here because this blog is, again, purely for my LO related stuff. I also have a day job that's completely unrelated to webcomics, and draw webcomics that aren't related to LO. I spent like.... 6 hours playing Slime Rancher today. I know it doesn't look like I have a life outside of this when you sift through my anti-LO-themed blog of queued posts all in one go, but I do lmao

Sorry I don't have a more satisfying response than "it's fun!" I have a great time in this community, everyone in it has been genuinely sweet and caring and accepting. Many of the people in this community are genuine friends now, who I go to for things outside of LO, from comic discussion to real life talk.

You know which community doesn't make me feel safe or welcome? The core LO community that's come at me in my inbox, snuck into our fan groups to spy, and even outright made bots to breach our privacy. As soon as I had even the slightest bit of criticism for the comic, back during the trial arc, they decided I wasn't "one of them" and I realized I was terrified of being an "anti" because I knew how anti's were treated by the community. I had to find ways to accept my own feelings as they were changing and having the antiLO/UnpopularLO community accept me the way they did... really changed my perspective on the whole "fandom" thing. I can take part in both sides in the anti/unpopular community - praise and criticism. Maybe consider for a second the only reason the criticism is so loud... has to do with the fact the comic itself isn't worth praising anymore.

All that aside, it's fine if you don't like my takes or don't agree with how I choose to spend my time! There are both better and even worse takes out there from other people just as pissed as I am about the turn LO has taken. None of those people, myself included, do what we do to "make" others hate the comic or hate on Rachel. None of us are encouraging outright bullying directly at Rachel, we're literally just curating our own space for discussion and memes and art and writing surrounding this dumb little comic that many of us did find enjoyment in back when it first started. And I don't think any of us are saying that because we don't like this comic, that means we're gonna automatically trash on anyone else's just for existing? Because, again, none of us encourage direct bullying, and if anything, all these accounts have inspired more people to take up comic creating through AU and fanfic content of the source material that they wish could have been better. If anyone's legitimately "scared" to go into webcomics because of a few strangers' opinions on the Internet about a massive commercial comic that's completely unrelated to their own work and far above what most creators will ever make... well, I don't know how to fix that or help with that. Maybe apply your own advice that you're giving me in your ask and stop caring so much? I'm just a person engaging in one of their many hyperfixations on the Internet and there are others who happen to share in my interests and enjoy my takes, whether or not that includes the saltier ones. There's nothing special enough about me to warrant any sort of finger-pointing like what you're doing. I'm not a monolith nor am I the end-all-be-all to webcomic creation or discussion lmao

It's honorable you want to defend Rachel, or people with ADHD/RSD. I can't shame you for that. But coming onto my blog that's themed around antiLO/unpopularLO content and doing the same thing you're claiming I'm doing (which I'm not because again, it's not like I'm going directly at Rachel with any of the things I say or do and I would never encourage anyone else do that either lol) is a little... hypocritical, don't you think?

But - sass time - what do I know. I'm just someone who's also ADHD. Autistic with RSD too! Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, as none of us can speak on behalf of the entire neurodivergent community.

Appreciate the crit though, thank you for taking the time to write <3 Sorry to hear my blog didn't turn out to be what you expected but... I don't recall ever setting those expectations in the first place. At least not when I started. Now that Rekindled's a thing I suppose people aren't gonna expect blatant trashing when they find it but that's why I'm also trying to move away from purely trashing on LO so that I can put my time and energy into more productive stuff (even if that "productive stuff" is making a comic that started as an LO-spite project LOL)

But at the same time... I mean, is it really that surprising? Like I guess this can serve as a general "heads up" to anyone else who's new here, but I do not go easy on LO and have a lot to say about it (and I'm very loud and disgruntled about it) but I figured most people would realize that's the amount of spite needed to redraw the whole thing as I'm doing right now LMAO Like c'mon, you think someone who only dislikes LO mildly would really put in all this work? 🤣 I do it because I can't stand to see where it's gone, and I want to give myself and others who were disappointed alongside me the closure we all deserve. Trying my best, at least (～￣▽￣)～

That's all for now! Have a good one :' )

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #antiloreolympus #lo critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[profiction-anomalocaris]

Pinned Post Time

He/him Seth or Set or Setka or Jean-Set. I have a lot of nicknames ADHD haver/survivor (depending on your POV) Over 18 Linguistics + Religious Studies double major, on accident In order to answer the "are you white or not" question we need to discuss the construct of whiteness as it applies to Central Asia in your country of origin and frankly neither of us has time for that

DNIs get ignored but for the record, I'm pro-MOGAI, pro-endo, pro-trans, pro-intersex rights, pro-self diagnosis (even if you don't get it right, turning to your provider and going 'I have the following symptoms' is useful), pro-whatever group of lesbians is getting dragged on tumblr today be they split attraction model users or ace or bi lesbians or what have you, radical inclusionist, you don't need dysphoria to be trans, respectability politics are worthless, men aren't inherently evil actually, pro-interracial couples because no matter what antis say people are equals actually, and pro-kink.

Sometimes I'm ignoring you. Sometimes tumblr genuinely eats asks. I have asks on my main that have been there, hovering, invisible, for a year. I don't know why.

If you start a conversation, you do not get to cry about people replying to what you posted publicly where anyone could reblog and reply. Pretending people are "harassing" you for replying is sad. Some of us have real problems.

If you use the "haha me no read reading iz bad lmao" excuse, you have forfeited all right to being taken seriously, not just by adults, but by children.

Depiction isn't synonymous with endorsement. Shipping isn't activism. Fandom isn't activism. One real person is worth the death of every blorbo you and I hold dear put together.

[drill-teeth]

It's late at night, but I have an angry thought. I find it extremely upsetting just how completely the online discussion of mental illness is no longer actually about the mentally ill, especially the most at risk.

Discussions of cluster b disorders only exist to demonize those disorders now. To identify a group of people who can have a very hard time coping and healing and readjusting and take language associated and basically redefine them and their experiences as being abuser disorder.

People will invoke actual symptoms in bad faith so frequently as an excuse to shift social conversations that aren't about them to themselves that a lot of people no longer know the words' medical definition. Hardly anyone can give me the actual definition of spoon theory or compassion fatigue because they don't know what those symptoms mean. And the only thing they're using them to mean is "I'm tired and don't want to put in the energy to engage with others' problems" which is not the fucking same thing.

People will do a watching Tiktoks level of mental health research, self diagnose a disorder, and then become a brand new well of misinformation of that disorder. And you can hardly point out that these people are spreading misinformation and a watered down version of a disorder that can be easily explained in other ways because you'll get accused of fakeclaiming and being an ableist. And actually I don't think it's ableist to point out mental health words mean what they mean.

A lot of people think they can't be ableist about the mentally ill if they have a disorder, so they'll slap adhd or autistic in their bio to try and appear mental health friendly. And whether or not they are adhd or autistic doesn't matter because they are still ableist and are trying to convince you they can't be.

One of the most shitty things ever said to me (aside from classic anon "kill yourself" asks) was someone who had read my comic on identifying as bigender, went to my blog and saw I identified as having a disordered, plural identity (and I know they went to my blog to dig this up because it was not mentioned on the post with the comic) and told me being that mentally ill meant I was too traumatized to identify as trans and much less bigender and that I was probably just a butch girl who should keep my voice down. And that is completely infantilizing and insulting and ableist. And that person had "autistic" proudly displayed in their bio.

The conversation of mental health online is dominated by ableists who just want to use mental health terms they don't understand to avoid criticism. And that shouldn't be a boogeyman that causes people to never trust anyone with a disorder in their bio again because that's ableist as fuck too. But god is it disheartening.

#otto thoughts #cw: ableism

[butchdykekondraki]

Genuine question irt personality disorders vs things like ADHD, autism, DID, and schizophrenia(might be long so sorry). Anyone with a personality can be categorized into having a "personality disorder" yes, even if those traits are seen as "positive" and "unintrusive" to others. It's just a way to categorize someone's personality type so it's easier to break down and understand the patterns in ones behaviors. I'm AuDHD, and knowing this has helped me tremendously in being able identify my triggers or whatever and cope with them. But no amount of therapy will get rid of my sensory issues. I can just learn to cope better with them. People with like, NPD, CAN go to therapy and deconstruct their behaviors and work on growing from the ones they have that are harmful to themselves and others and that can essentially (for lack of a better word) "cured" with therapy. Things like narcissism aren't genetic. There are some studies showing a difference in grey matter in the brains of people with narcissism but this hasn't been studied deep enough to know whether it actually relates to the narcissism, or something else (like sociopathy or schizophrenia). Also, when it comes to narcissism(speaking about npd bc I have the most personal experience with this pd) usually, the neurotypical peak status quo, the epicenter of success, if a title given to a lot of narcissists. They're more likely to be successful in relationships, and careers, and socializing. It's the harmful behaviors that are criticized, but that is also seen as status quo. My audhd is biological. No amounts of therapy can change that biology, it can only make me better at coping with the symptoms. So I guess, my question is, if therapy can untangle and heal the personality disorder, and if the personality disorder is often gives the impression of a successful person, then how is it neurodivergent? I am one who sticks to my guns when I say "narcissistic abuse" because my mother is a narcissist. Only in the past few years has she been going to therapy, but even in that short amount of time, the things she did that were abusive to others and beneficial for her, she can now identify and deconstruct. She's not heartless because she is a narcissist. It's just a personality trait that's always benefited her. Her being taught and understanding her actions and thoughts and where they come from, has improved her relationship with herself and others tremendously and half the time, it seems like she doesn't even have npd anymore. I see a lot of these posts, and for me, it seems like it's coming from a narcissist, who's personality is very beneficial for them(aside from when they're called out for being abusive), and that they discourage nuanced conversations around this topic, as well as diverts the need to take personal responsibility for ones actions(which is an NPD trait). I understand now everyone has access to the right treatment, and I'm not here to say ppl with personality disorders are evil(there are many personality disorders that signify someone is too kind&compassionate as well) but it just seems there's more of a focus on trying to hide the difference between biological neurodivergence, and society/environment influenced personality patterns. I think doing this makes it so people can't actually find the resources they need and don't actually critique their actions and behaviors and just say "it's nothing I can change/improve" which isn't true. I can't change a lot of my biological symptoms, but I can improve my personality and perception and cope better in order to not hurt others or myself. I don't rlly know how to end this but the intent is good faith discussion. I would like to hear your input.

this got long whoops. mentions of "narc abuse" under cut 👍

short answer tho; npd is a complicated disorder and most research on it is HEAVILY biased by demonizations + "narc abuse" isnt a thing its just abuse + npd effects someones entire life therefore its neurodivergent + npd is literally a divergence in ur brain thats literally neurodivergent by definition lol

i'm personally medicated and in therapy for my npd and i can promise you whole-heartedly it's not a beneficial disorder.

i've had npd my entire life and it has never, EVER, benefited me. my npd has made me lose jobs, friends, and a large part of my social life because i believed myself to be better than them and then cut them out of my life.

i think a lot of people forget npd is primarily a trauma-induced personality disorder, one that comes from the fear of someone leaving you and/or the fear of having someone think they're better than you.

my npd is a both a side effect of other traumas i've experienced and a biological issue. it's not something that can ever fully leave me, and it's not something that i want, nor have benefited from having. npd is literally not something you can change, i know this for a fact because of my years of switching medications and therapists and psychologists.

npd has been heavily demonized in media, especially by people who have been abused and automatically claim it was "narcissistic abuse" when in reality all abuse is just that. abuse. there is no such thing as "narcissistic abuse" because it doesn't fucking exist.

yes, narcissism can lead to abuse. no, narcissistic abuse doesn't exist. it's just abuse. plain and simple. you don't call abuse by neurotypicals "neurotypical abuse", because it's a meaningless term that doesn't mean anything.

npd, in and of itself, is not a disorder that people primarily benefit from. the stories about people benefiting from it are from a very small group of people who do not speak for the majority of us.

npd is something that has affected my entire livelihood, and it will do that until the day i die. i have been labeled an abuser multiple times in my life for simply having it, because in the minds of most people the only thing "narcs" want is to hurt you to gain something. they can never pinpoint what "narcs" want though, because they're all getting angry at someone who doesn't exist. this kind of argument of "not all people with personality disorders are evil" paired with the agreeing of "narc abuse" existing is two things that cannot be true at the same time. "narc abuse" implies that all "narcs" are evil in and of themselves.

npd is neurodivergent because it is something that will forever effect someones life. npd effects everything from your perspective of people, to your perspective of self, to how you see the world around you. it's not an easy thing to live with. npd makes you think everyone is either out to get you, or less than you and therefore not worth your time. it takes a really long time for most pwnpd to warm up to people, and it did for me. it's hard to form friendships when your first reaction to someone is either that they hate you or that they're worse than you.

i dont know how to end this . anyway. narc abuse isnt fucking real its a demonizing term dont use it okay? okay. goodbye

#[jay] #jay empiresys jumpscare haiiiii #anyway. #look at my ramble do it now #OH SHIT I FORGOT TAGS WHOOPS. MY BAD GUYS #long post #narc abuse mention #abuse mention

[ghostonly]

So tired of neurotypicals inserting themselves into posts about, by, and for people with ADHD or autism to tell us "That's not ND! IT'S NORMAL!"

Like, first of all, who the fuck asked you?

Second, people with ADHD and/or autism are allowed to make posts about their shared experiences with other people in their community. You do not have a license to be the Trait Police.

Also, no one is out here saying, "If you experience this random thing that is common in people with ADHD/autism, you have ADHD/autism." (or if they are, I haven't seen them) More often, it's literally just people relating with each other and then someone comes along and completely misinterprets the point of their post.

This is as true with random commonalities as it is with literal symptoms of a disorder: just because many neurotypicals experience something doesn't mean it isn't correlated with ADHD or autism!

If 10% of NTs have experienced a thing and 95% of people with ADHD have experienced that thing, there is a massive correlation happening! You can't just show up and make people with ADHD feel like shit about relating over this common experience in relation to our ADHD just because it's something a bunch of neurotypicals have experienced too!

Plus, a lot of times that experience is experienced differently depending on if you have ADHD or are neurotypical. Even if the experience is of the same severity, it might be caused by something different, might lead to different feelings, or might have a different level of consistency/rigidity.

Showing up and going off about something being "normal" (a shitty thing to say about neurodivergent experiences btfw) is like if a group of people are discussing making pancakes with coconut flour because of a digestive issue and you come in and yell at them about how, "Everybody eats pancakes! Pancakes aren't specific to you just because you make them with coconut flour!"

Like, no shit Sherlock. No one here fucking said that people don't eat wheat-flour pancakes en masse. This is not a conversation about wheat-flour pancakes.

Basically, keep your disrespectful, neurotypical, tomfoolery the fuck out of ND conversations.

And it's a whole separate conversation but the same fucking thing applies to conversations about physical disabilities. Don't fucking butt in to tell disabled people that everyone gets tired, or struggles without enough sleep, or has back pain. Why? Reread the post!

#adhd #actually adhd #add #actually add #autism #asd #nd #actually nd #neurodivergent #disability #actually disabled #disabled

[gloriousmonsters]

it's fascinating to see people running the exact same scripts as trensmeds/exclusionists but for mental illness.

I just crossed paths with a post that was a screenshot of a tiktok where someone was clearly frustrated because 'I thought I might have autism but when I tried to bring it up with my therapist she said she literally wouldn't discuss it with me because 'everyone thinks they have it because of tiktok', and the original poster/about 90% of the notes were... celebrating this. Either variations on 'lol based psych' and 'she was right' or people explicitly saying shit like:

'Well, I was trans diagnosed with autism/adhd before it was cool and trendy! I can't believe that the diagnostic criteria is getting made stricter, it's the fault of those transtrenders tiktok kids who pretend to have mental illnesses. I get to gatekeep because I really suffered!'

(Shoutout to the confusing outlier who sagely was like 'and usually they just have bpd' in the tags. just???? just, my fair sir? also source???)

And like. It makes sense and is also so incredibly frustrating for the same reasons as transmed/exclus stuff. When you're a hurt person stuck interacting with a system that makes a lot of decisions about your personal autonomy/function, it messes with your head. It taps into that particular reaction to trauma that there was that one great post about--the mindset you get in when you see people get help when you didn't, and get furious and often default to 'it shouldn't be so easy' or 'why should they get help when I didn't?' And if you're struggling with a system that is, lbr, way more about luck in what specific people you got to talk to than any kind of well-built system, which is historically very flawed and still very flawed... well, a lot of people don't want to admit the system is a crapshoot and the people in it can be wrong so, so often, because then what about my diagnosis? my confirmation that I am what I am? fuck kids with stargenders and self-dxed teenagers with autism, I suffered for this, you can't take it away from me.

Which they aren't. If diagonistic criteria for anything is being made stricter, that's not on tiktok teens, it's on the people who write the criteria and decided that this was how they were going to handle an uptick in people thinking they are/might be autistic. If people are passing anti-trans legislation, that's because they're transphobes, not because of demigirls and non-op trans people. And are all of these kids queer, or mentally ill/ND, in the way they think they are? Probably not. Being a teenager is fucking confusing and often traumatic, and it's also a time when most of them are investigating and trying to build their identities. But I'm willing to bet that almost all are genuinely struggling with something/deviate from 'the norm'; if you want to stop kids from 'believing they're something wrongly' maybe focus your energy on putting the message out that it's ok to be wrong about things, that self-discovery is a process-- in this specifically, how to interact with mental health diagnoses and manage your symptoms, no matter where they stem from, in helpful ways, etc etc.

But please do the bare minimum and don't let personal pain turn you into a bitter, smug asshole who celebrates when they see kids experiencing gatekeeping that could really, really fuck them over, OK? Like physical disability and queer identity, the few 'fakers' you'll 'catch' by being cruel and suspicious will in no way be worth the people dead because only people who REALLY need help should be able to get it.

#long post #sorry lol I just #I can get the emotional/mental place this attitude comes from but as always i feel like i'm the padme meme #'and then we realize those feelings are unreasonable and don't act on them right?' #'....' #'and then we realize those feelings are unreasonable.... and don't act on them #right???' #also just *pulls out another smaller soapbox for a moment* #'kids these days think all their problems and quirks are due to mental illness!' #kids Back In The Day died. or struggled all their lives. because the understanding of mental illness was even more fucked than it is now #do NOT be a fucking 'EVERYONE THINKS THEY HAVE DEPRESSION YOU'RE JUST A WEAK BABY' conservative guys #'oooooh everyone thinks they have adhd and autism' #everyone started 'thinking' they were trans or queer or whatever after learning that it was a possibility #and learning how to recognize whether that was the case with themselves.... fucking crazy right? #I LITERALLY SAW SOMEONE SAYING #'oh they're seeing how symptoms of autism are socially contagious due to tiktok' #do not make this another ROGD! do not make this another ROGD! #mental illness #pro self diagnosis #AND FINALLY. 'lol based psych' PSYCHIATRISTS ARE EXACTLY AS RELIABLE AS ANY OTHER KIND OF DOCTOR. #SLIGHTLY. #THEY CAN BE AND ARE WRONG A LOT #i say this as someone who's benefited a lot from therapy (although i've had to educate my psych on some things) #and who is on medication. doctors and psychs can be lifesaving but they can also #really truly fuck you over because they are human and sometimes idiots or jerks and we should not be trusting them solely #with our mental and physical well-being #ok ok my arms are hurting i shouldn't have typed this much

[gerrysherry]

X-men and disability: A companion to Bipolarity

This is the essay that will eventually appear with a story titled Bipolarity which

 TW for discussion of trauma, ableism and medical malpractice

Recently discovered Magneto canonically have bipolar (in some runs at least). That made think. You see my own bipolar II  symptoms kicked about year ago. Hank McCoy and Magnus have been quite relatable to me.  Hank because his secondary mutation kicks in his mid twenties and changes his life forever just like my symptoms changed mine. I jokingly call my bipolar my ‘secondary mutation’ with presumably my ADHD being the ‘primary one’. 

Considering how ostracized and dehumanized I was for being neurodivergent maybe that’s not such a joke after all. I never understood the people who claim mutation is an allegory for being POC or LGBT when most mutants are white and about half a heterosexual but almost all of them are codedly disabled or neurodivergent. Or in the case of characters like Destiny, Blindfold, Legion and Professor X, there is no coding - they are literally disabled.

As someone who is neurodivergent and but also gifted, I always felt the need to ‘compensate’ for my neurodivergence with my gifts.  I was also raised to believe my neurodivergence was a disability I needed to rise above rather than accommodate.

Not only that but my parents literally call the more positive manifestations of my neurodivergence (heightened reaction time,  high endurance, good memory and uncanny ability to spot animals anywhere) as my superpowers. I kid you not. My father insists I should find a job that and I - and I quote - ‘puts my powers to good use’. It sounds like a Mutant OC backstory, but sadly it’s my life. 

I was actually misdiagnosed as schizoaffective (having both bipolar and schizophrenia) in a deeply unethical mental hospital so I know the crushing doubt of wondering if your diagnosis is just an excuse for your doctors (or in Magnus’ case ‘doctors’) to discredit your lived experiences and the things you witnessed. And I have witnessed things that should not be happening anywhere let alone in a hospital. Shame I’m too traumatized to talk about it. No really, I feel extreme shame for not being able to testify even if I’m not the first survivor in my family to be completely unable to talk about my trauma.

  Since I’m not actually schizophrenic I didn’t feel comfortable exploring that but I am comfortable exploring the bipolar ever since getting diagnosed  as such by several reputable psychologists. 

I don’t think anyone with either bipolar or schizophrenia ever wrote an X-Men comic so no one has explored either angle from lived experience. Until now!

I remember the absolute despair upon hearing that I was in fact Bipolar, but I eventually got accepted it along with diagnoses of ADHD and Autism. Support from friends and family was essential for me to accept that part of myself.

ADHD and Autism are widely accepted and even fetishized in some circles, while bipolar, schizophrenia, DID and cluster B disorders like NPD and ASPD (formerly Sociopathy/Psychopathy) are feared and demonized. And yes the ranked the last five in order of stigma. The latter two are even used as slurs to this day. Meanwhile, DID and schizophrenia carry extra stigma as they’re associated with misperceiving reality and uncontrollable violent behavior. It doesn’t help that the two are considered synonymous in popular culture. 

Speaking of popular culture, two of Marvel’s three system characters, Aurora and Legion, are Mutants. The third is obviously Moon Knight.

So no, X-men was always about disability and ableism, at least it was to me.  That's not to say those comics aren't also about racism, antisemitism and queerphobia but disability was always at forefront from the moment Stan Lee wrote X-men #1

#personal #x men comics #x men #disability #actually did #actually bipolar #actually adhd #tw medical abuse #tw genocide #ableism #erik lensherr #magneto

[insipid-drivel]

I cannot express enough how important it is to look up and research any diagnoses, especially those regarding mental and behavioral health/development, before fully accepting what a diagnosing therapist or doctor has handed down. Especially if the diagnosis is of a highly stigmatized or rare condition.

I see these posts a lot on tumblr from people who spent years, even decades, with fairly common presentations of ASD, ADHD, and other relatively common conditions misdiagnosed to some of the societally-bleakest ones possible. BPD? Bipolar (especially Bipolar 2)? Schizoid personality disorder? Those aren't diagnoses that are going to help someone who doesn't have them.

First off, I want to say one thing: A label is only as good as the information attached to it applies to you. If you're happy to be diagnosed, that's great! If it's still taking time to reckon with a diagnosis? That's totally okay. A lot of people need to spend a long time with support, friends, and loved ones to adjust to having a daunting label assigned to them. This isn't to say that you should completely fob off your diagnosis, either.

Here's the biggest thing I came to understand when it came to the world of diagnostics: A correct diagnosis is like receiving your own Dewey Decimal number at the library: It can take you to where the research and peer-supported information about your condition is available for you.

When I first began seeing my psychiatrist of now over 5 years, he tried to diagnose me with Schizoid Personality Disorder. There is nothing wrong with that, except that it wasn't the right diagnosis for me. I went home after his big revelation with me, looked up what credible sources like the NIH, WHO, and DSM-5 to read about what defined a Schizoid personality and how people who have agreed to interviews and published studies attest to feeling.

When I read the description of the symptoms and common mental and emotional traits for people with Schizoid Personalities, it was like reading a long-form antonym; the opposite of a description of how I felt and what was really going on in my mind.

So, I took that information with me to my next session with him, and after having found other related conditions in the same general family as Schizoid Personality Disorder, I found that I was really Schizotypal, which is a very, very, very different diagnosis. To be sure, I texted the links to the articles I'd read to my psychiatrist, and told him at our next meeting, "I don't feel you have an accurate grasp of what my experience and behaviors are. This [Schizotypal] is a more accurate summary of my life experience, while Schizoid sounds like a different person's diagnosis. Can we try this over again?"

My psychiatrist asked me some more detailed questions, including questions about whether I was showing him an accurate reflection of my normal personality when we were in-session. I answered that I didn't, and so my personality was much more reserved and cool toward him than how I usually felt and behaved around people I'm comfortable with.

I walked out of his office that day with a new diagnosis: Autism, and Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

About 2 years later came the biggest revelation of all: Dissociative Identity Disorder.

My life became very lonely after I came out publicly about that one.

Nevertheless, never be afraid to do your own research, ask questions, or debate differential diagnoses. If the shoe fits you, then it fits you, and you and your therapist or healthcare provider can move forward from there. If trying to study it reveals it's shaped for a horse and you can barely walk around with it on, then it may be worth a longer discussion.

#mental health #stigma #diagnosis #did/osdd #traumagenic #plurality

[lady-laureline]

There's been a lot of discussion about the validity of neurodivergent self-diagnosis, including a fair bit of fuss about the notion that there is a whole swathe of people faking their disability for attention, so I think it's a great time to dissect a few fun topics such as representation, intersectionality, prejudice and privilege (this post is unapologetically long).

Tl;dr for the people at the back: cracking down on perceived fakes has unintended consequences. If you don't know what you're talking about, what is "believable" is not for you to decide.

×××

To those with concerns, a few questions. What was your first encounter with disability? A joke in a movie, perhaps, or an insult you heard at school?

Incidentally, did you know the brain uses your first impression as the foundation for your understanding of any concept? This can be tricky to reflect on (we all have a built-in resistance to changing our minds), but if you are comparing the people you see online to Rain Man you might have some catching up to do.

There's this insidious notion of being "reasonably disabled". People tend to go for an all-or-nothing dichotomy without really thinking about it, which is detrimental to literally everyone in between. Personally, I think it has something to do with our discomfort around being bad at something. As if being blind was somehow more legitimate than having poor eyesight - it sounds ridiculous, but tell me there isn't a part of you that thinks this way.

Likewise, there are plenty of neurodivergent folk that are able to function in society, but will not quite match up to the neurotypical standard in certain contexts, whether we lack the performance skills or just have a different taste in things. Y'all seem to be having difficulties translating a theoretical understanding of this into not cringing like we're bringing down the average grade.

×

Okay, but aren't we talking about a medical diagnosis? Surely that should be left to the professionals? Yes & no. Hope you don't mind that I explain with the help of anecdotal evidence.

I am at a point where I am feeling pretty good about how I identify, i.e. officially diagnosed with adhd, and self-diagnosed as autistic. Through a combination of digging through online resources and a whole lot of recuperation, I've been able to put many of the struggles I was fighting blind with into a framework I am able to understand. I feel more like a person than I ever have in my life, and that, for me, is the greatest benefit of a diagnosis, official or not.

While I am certainly not ruling out seeking a doctor's confirmation of my autism at some point, there is some trepidation involved.

A non-trivial part of this is my adhd diagnosis experience. This was during the pandemic, I was just coming to terms with being burnt out and was so so ready to finally get some answers as to why. An immigrant (read: used to paying for healthcare) living in the UK, I naturally opted to seek guidance and support from the National Healthcare Service at this vulnerable time in my life. If you're familiar with the NHS, you can probably guess how it went to bother this already overwhelmed and underfunded organisation that definitely did not want to deal with my trauma dumping.

After being coerced to try an SSRI "to find out what's under all that anxiety" and having a terrible time with it, plus feeling legitimately gaslight in my pursuit of getting to the bottom of what it would actually take to get approved for an assessment, I found out about my right to choose and swiftly obtained both my diagnosis and prescription via Psychiatry UK, a private organisation.*

A decidedly shitty experience overall, but I ended up with a lot of useful insight into navigating the bureaucracy, and I can safely say that taking (the right) medication has helped a lot with symptom management, and thus, life in general.

×

Now, autism has been in the public eye much longer than adhd and has accumulated more research over the years, but its implementation is far from adequate, especially for autistic adults. Some of the studies that shaped the understanding of doctors practicing today betray the derogatory and/or infantilising beliefs of doctors of the past.

So I have concerns about the toll another clinical runaround might have on my mental health. It would take a lot of work, too - prior to assessment, you are more or less expected to build a convincing case for yourself, which means you have to do enough research to persuade a medical professional who may or may not be inclined to think of all this neurospicy nonsense is a waste of time.

Even if I did get approved for an autism assessment with the NHS, the waiting list is years (yes, years) long. Private care is prohibitively expensive, unless you're desperate enough. Or, you know, rich. I've seen prices in the thousands (yes, thousands).

I'm also unsure, in practical terms, what I stand to gain from an official diagnosis as opposed to, say, seeking out a local branch of the autistic community. Not because I don't trust institutions, but because "access to accommodations" rarely gets elaborated on further, and is not a guarantee. There are also situations where the label would create incompatibility where there previously was none - for example, certain immigration policies reject autistic people outright. Not that I'm thinking of moving to New Zealand, but still.

There's a lot to consider. I haven't gotten around to making an exhaustive list of pros and cons and I don't think I'll have the energy for it anytime soon. Please feel free to add your two cents if you'd like.

×

Alright, so an official diagnosis isn't quite the no-brainer you thought it was, but "that doesn't excuse people labelling themselves for the fun of it".

Buddy. Friend. Kindred spirit o' mine.

We are doing this because we are having difficulty surviving in a world that wasn't built for us. I don't know what your definition of "fun" is, but I can think of a few other things I'd rather be doing than grappling with burnout and existential crises for half of my twenties - because that's what happens when you grow up being told that your lived experience isn't real. That you couldn't possibly feel this way, because the rest of the class feels fine.

People worrying about fake disabilities are still trying to fit neurodivergent content into a neurotypical point of view. They see someone trying to normalise the disabled experience and think: "If I did that, I'd be doing it for attention," then carry on to brutally mock them as some sort of righteous punishment for being too weird online.**

I have had to sift through a metric ton of trauma to build my identity back up from scratch. Really puts the "fun" in "dysfunctional". And believe it or not, I have had a relatively easy time of it.

About that intersectionality:

My trials as a disabled immigrant have been frustrating, but I'm also a young, straight-passing, cis white woman. People of colour go undiagnosed at far higher rates - their symptoms are overlooked more, and when they are recognised they are often misconstrued as threatening. Trans people get written off altogether, because transitioning apparently means there are no other medically relevant aspects of your life? I'm sorry?

I cannot speak with authority on these experiences, but I can say that defining someone by a single facet of their personhood is redundant and insulting, and causes real harm when that preconception bars access to the care they need. It's high time we put work into understanding how our differences interact, and hammer home the fact that intersectionality isn't the exception, it's the rule.

If there's one thing that's going to make it harder to recognise the signs of genuine neurodivergence, it's facing constant doubt. Which we do, about our struggles themselves, and the severity of them. The things that happen to us either happen to nobody, or they happen to everybody - so don't be such a bummer, it's neither the time nor the place, etc.

Maybe there is no adequate time or place for these conversations by design. Maybe the discomfort you feel has less to do with sensing pretense and more to do with rejecting something you don't understand. Maybe it's possible for us to think, speak, and act a little differently than you do, all while being sincere. Maybe letting us exist as we are won't make the world implode.

Food for thought.

×

I'll end on this note, because there is always someone who needs to hear it: Whatever the rest of your life looks like, if you are neurodivergent, you are part of the community. I believe you. You belong.

×××

*In the case of the NHS being unable to provide adequate care, it is a patient's right to request access to an alternative healthcare provider, free of charge. This is known as the right to choose. I've linked Psychiatry UK because they have a comprehensive explanation (and they were nice to me), however their waiting lists have also extended into oblivion.

**Like when Chloé Hayden (actor, author and disability rights advocate, with diagnosed auDHD) received overwhelming backlash (after posting a video of herself displaying unmasked joy) that led to her stepping away from social media.

#autism #adhd #audhd #neurodivergent #burnout #nhs #self-diagnosis #fake disability #right to choose #ramblepost

[mmaurysiek]

how does a mechanism of a Mechanism work? - vague musings

(please do argue and share your own headcanons if you'd like! I'd love to start a discussion :3)

I imagine that the origin story of these functionally unbreakable mechanisms was simple. I mean, look at the inventor -- a disabled ADHD vampire. Carmilla had to be fed up by having yet another version of a working artificial eye unexpectedly start breaking on her at least once every few decades or so.

(what i don't get is - why not just go on living with one eye instead - but I guess that literally unlimited amount of spare time and Carmilla's love of creative tinkering have played a huge role in that)

Hence, a sci-fi dream of a prosthetic/medical device that:

seamlessly or near-seamlessly connects with the nerve system and provides natural-like neural feedback,

is as effectively self-repairing as Carmilla's own vampire flesh,

doesn't require the user to remember charging it, as it passively collects whatever (eldritch) energy it needs from the environment.

Near-perfect for a space-faring vampire scientist with ADHD!

And when you already have that sort of tech, why not use it to improve other people's lives? And sure it has worked, at least to some degree. Not that most mortals would live long enough to truly appreciate the unbreakability of these mechanisms, but still, it's improved people's lives. And it got Carmilla enough rapport with the locals to keep the G-Pol's investigations (and their "serial killer" charges - honestly, a girl has to eat!) off Carmilla's back. So it was very practical to have different types of these little unbreakable miracles at hand (an advanced enough science is indistinguishable from magic), ready to use for strangers who'd need them, and pay for them.

Jonny was an accident. See, usually that sort of surgery is pre-planned. Usually, a significant amount of effort goes into keeping a patient safely alive thorough the surgery process. There was no way to guess (and thus test) beforehand what would happen if one of these little miracles got connected to an extremely fresh corpse. I mean, why would anyone waste one of these on a corpse, fresh or not, if not for the desperation of a parent who refused to let death win? (necromancy is just first aid that's delivered late)

And so the eldritch clockwork blood-pump fussed with the entire body, integrated the flesh into its template design, most likely as a powersource, a battery, and included that "battery" in its self-repair function.

mechanical heart: - access point, - medical-grade steel (microwave-safe), - it pumps blood in timed pulses, - maximum simplicity to minimise vulnerable break points, - smart pacer + fallback clock (1.17 pulse per second) note: his brain should be filtering the noise out note: Jonny, what the hell, trauma symptoms aren't "side effects"

extra notes:

- the access point should have allowed for DYI repairs, but Jonny is more likely to try to break something than to fix it,

- he may be one of the people who can hear their own heartbeat,

- the fallback ticking tempo of the device is just slightly differently paced than ticking of an analogue clock.

So the medical device that was supposed to keep its user alive - and it has the side effect of keeping its user alive. Like, infinitely, and through experiences that no mortal should've been able to survive.

I expect that Jonny's newfound immortality was a surprise to Jonny and Carmilla alike. I expect that they didn't know why it had happened for Jonny and not for other people. When the effect had reoccured with Nastya's blood replacement - that may have narrowed down the why, but still left a whole lot of variables that might or might not be necessary for a mechanisation process to take.

Jonny, Nastya, Ashes, Ivy, Scuzz, Brian - none of them would've been able to survive without what they had replaced by the mechanism. There are mentions of failed mechanisation attempts, but going by how many of the potentially important variables are kept, and yet at least some prove to not be necessary later? Carmilla actively tried to avoid mechanisations that could fail over those variables. Carmilla chose to keep those variables in every attempt, chose to avoid the risk of trying to mechanise the people who didn't meet those variables - the scientific method put aside for the sake of something more important.

mechanical lung (internal) - access point, - medical grade steel, - oxygenates blood, - air filters note: Ashes, please stop testing the capacity of the filters. these filters need time to self-clean

extra notes:

- the access point was placed on their back due to a lesson learnt with Jonny and for the sake of everyday comfort and ease of accessing the lung area directly,

- the fallback pace was set to a resting tempo to better allow for "sleeping it off" until the mechanism fixes itself (no need for another Mechanism getting slightly hyper during a malfunction)

mechanical brain (opening the cover illustrated) - extra batteries allow for higher performance, - cannot be turned off, - AI with personality pre-programmed - don't treat her like a baby, she is learning - make backups!!! nanorobotic blood - not intended for warm-blooded species, - was to be temporary, - not mercury, WTF - thick, silver, liquid, transports nutrients maintain bio-heart - do not replace! - do not attempt to remove! - more in the manual note: where?

Has Brian mechanised that priest, effectively?

And then there is the Toy Soldier - who has mechanised itself by a process notably inverse to everyone else's. The Toy Soldier who has replaced a part of its self-repairing wood-based body with a fleshy-meaty component it's scavenged out of a very fresh mortal corpse. (wood is more versatile than metal, for those with knowledge and patience needed to work with it.)

The Toy Soldier did not need a voicebox to survive. Gunpowder Tim was mechanised after Carmilla left, but he could have survived as a blind mortal, too. Raphaella gave herself a spinal structure to attach two extra limbs that she never had as a mortal (in the world shaped for humanoids - more of a social hindrance than a boon) - was she even dying before the process? Marius wouldn't die from being one-armed.

- metal-bone fusion zone should not move, - openable casing (responsible for eye movement), openable shell, lenses and filters, neural interface (tech-nerve fusion zone) note:any mistakes in the fusion zones will be permanent note: use eyelid slices to cover the shutters to make sure they don't fuse permanently open!

I think the lines by Tim's eyes are sort of a gate in the flesh, installed so that the space around his mechanism-eyes would be accessible for repair -- it's much easier to open the mechanism the way it's designed to open than to exercise the futility of trying to separate it from the flesh it's fused with. I think that part of Tim's mechanisation was replacing his still-healthy eye sockets and part of optical nerves, too.

mechanical wings: spinal fusion 1 (neck), attachment port (triangular), motion support (also triangular like 4 extra scapulas), 2 "rib" processors, spinal fusion 2 (lumbar region), neural cabling through the vertical middle column parallel to the spine

Raphaella can swap between the wing models, but the port for connecting them, her mechanism, stays firmly there.

Can TS, Marius and Tim take their mechanisms off? I think not, at least not TS nor Tim.

mechanical arm - notes: Marius, why? All the fucking weapons were two-handed and it was marketed as cutting-edge tech and it was a war-zone liability: the arm can be separated by cutting through the stump fusion zone around the stump neural interface cannot be accessed, cannot be fixed unknown contents between the stump and the elbow elbow: the joint is made out of three: pivot, hinge, and another pivot unknown contents of the zone between elbow and wrist - pressure and temperature fluctuations happen wrist appears to be constructed like the elbow, but the functionality is partly broken a broken spread-fold structure mid hand - it can only spread and needs external pressure to fold fingers have two hinge joints each, except for the thumb that has the base joint constructed like a smaller version of the elbow external fixtures improve the functionality

is the self-healing factor is likely to be more intense around the mechanism?

Jonny is an unreliable narrator, what is the chance that the story about trying to use a black hole to separate his mechanism and flesh has happened?

Unlike medical devices and prosthetics - a mechanism has a primary function of keeping the flesh attached to it alive at all costs. The medical / prosthetic function is secondary. Unlike contemporary prosthetics, these mechanisms cannot be taken off.

At least some (if not all) of the Mechs are gonna yearn for the impossibility of taking those off -- mortality aside, it'd:

- it'd make cleaning much easier,

- it'd be nice to relieve the muscle tension from having one's body-weight distributed differently than what the humanoid body is prepared for,

- the neural feedback that's only partially compatible with the nerve system is disorienting, and makes tasks that require any precision - extra difficult.

like, my own biological optical wiring has a tendency to go weird, so at times it was literally easier to just cover my eyes (eyelids wouldn't fully cut off the light) and go around do stuff sight-less - than to keep dealing with sensory overload of just slightly wrong light - unfortunately, i never had a computer with enough RAM for a fully functional NVDA (non-visual desktop access)

I definitely think that Tim would sometimes do that.

I definitely think that Marius would default to doing precision tasks with his left hand. I may be ambidextrous (more like ambisinistri honestly) myself, but this rant is also very very insistent on it (content warning for medical abuse and discussion of ableism) :

i've ran out of steam before i could figure out the precise inner mechanics of each mechanism, but i guess this long rambling post is long enough?

i'd love to hear other people's ideas!

#the mechanisms #mechs headcanons #the mechanisms meta #eye horror cw