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carakook · 2 months

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Bloom. °˖✧✿✧˖°

"You were just so… fuck, so pretty. So cute."

→ Chapters list ←

⚘3. Flower or Weeds?

🔞For Mature Audiences Only🔞

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⚘Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader

⚘Synopsis: Tonight is all about getting closure from Jungkook so that you can try to move on… but you find yourself wanting to savor your last moments with him rather than dwell on answers to questions you don’t think you really want to know.

⚘Genre:Forbidden love

⚘Word count: 5k+

⚘Warnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, emotional, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex (no smut this chapter, but it is talked about), mentions of toxic masculinity, mentions of arguing, vulgar language, breaking up (sort of?), mentions of rough sex, you will probably cry? let me know if I miss anything!

⚘Disclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story.

⚘A/N: Chapter three! So originally this was supposed to be a very long chapter… but I got carried away, and ended up having to split it up because the WC was way too high. 🥲 The next chapter is going to be released at the same time as this one, so you can read it directly after. Sorry this took so long, I didn’t expect to add so much but I did, and then some stuff came up this weekend. Anyway, enjoy this chapter, the one after this will have lots of smut but also… I cried writing it lol. Thank you for reading. ❤️

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↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :

♪Too Much - The Kid LAROI ft. Jungkook

♪Duvet - bôa

♪My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

♪Scaredy Cat - DPR Ian

✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧

Closure is something that is needed anytime something ends. Not everyone gets the luxury of closure; some live their lives constantly thinking about the whys, the what-ifs.

Which is why you should be thankful Jungkook stepped up and offered it to you. You were too chicken shit to ask for it because you knew if you reached out to him, it wouldn’t be for closure; it would be for forgiveness. You’d beg him to take you back. He didn’t have to show up today. He could’ve left you wondering why and what if for the rest of your life. You both need this to move on.

And even in knowing this, you’re dreading it. Because closure means there’s an end… that this is truly ending.

Both of your flowers are about to be uprooted and planted elsewhere, far away from each other. The not knowing is what really makes you feel sick. Where will he go? Will he be nurtured, watered, fed? Will he continue to bloom, or will he wilt much like you are now?

Will he be ok?

What about you? Are you about to be placed in a greenhouse that will carefully protect your wilted petals? Or will you somehow find a garden where you belong and can flourish freely without siphoning the life of a flower that you swear doesn’t belong to you?

Or will you fucking wilt away and die?

It sure feels like you could die. Seeing him on his knees begging nearly killed you, as ridiculous as the gesture was. Seeing Jungkook so desperate and broken has fucked with your head almost as much as the prospect of losing him has.

You never wanted to lose him. Never. But this entire situation… has left you drained. You both know it can’t go on.

One last night, you both swear. Just one. For closure, of course…

You were thankful that the pizza guy showed up shortly after Jungkook got on his damn knees and begged (something you will never get over, by the way.), because neither of you knew where to start, he didn’t really plan this far, swore you’d cast him out. And you have no idea what you want out of this.

He insisted on paying for the pizza, seemed a little too eager to do so. But that’s not abnormal. If there’s an opportunity to buy you something, anything, whether it’s pizza or a necklace that costs half your paycheck, he will do it. He wants to do it.

The little things, they fuck you up. It’s like he’s adding salt to the wound.

Also… Jungkook is an emotional eater at times. He was thankful for the distraction because now he can avoid the awkwardness just a little longer while he stuffs his face with the pizza originally only meant for you.

So now you’re both sitting on your couch. His eyes are glued to the TV as he eats, and he looks irritated. Not because he’s actually irritated, just because that’s how he looks when he eats something yummy. Another one of your favorite things about him. He’s too precious.

The little things. They fuck you up. Again and again. Something as small as watching him eat pizza makes you want to give in to the sin and just let it be.

Maybe you could somehow steal the flower…

“This pizza tastes like sex,” he comments around a mouth full, his cheeks puffed out, and eyebrows scrunched as he chews.

You snort in response because there’s no way that cheap-ass pizza tastes like sex. He’s acting as if it’s a pizza from Italy or some shit. Dramatic.

“Don’t know if a pizza tasting like sex is a good thing, Kook…”

He immediately disagrees, shakes his head, and scrunches his brows further. He starts babbling about how sex is beautiful, the best thing in the world, blah blah blah. But you aren’t listening, not really.

Instead, you’re staring, taking in every little detail of him. The way his mouth moves when he speaks, the freckle below his lower lip moving with it. The way his eyes glitter when he talks about something he’s passionate about, such as sex-tasting pizza, apparently. Fuck, you swear there’s an entire galaxy in those eyes. Never seen eyes so expressive before. Stars and sparkles inside of his irises at all times. Or the way that not once has he looked at you since he started eating and babbling. Not once have those sparkly eyes full of stars glanced your way.

You know why. You know he’s procrastinating. He’s trying to make this seem normal like any other day you’d hang out and fuck around. He’s prolonging it.

You aren’t sure if it’s intentional, but he does this often. He’s so bad at saying goodbye. He would drag it out every single time you used to leave after a night spent together. Would keep saying bye, but then start talking about something, anything. Would tempt you to stay. And it worked every damn time because you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to leave him ever; you’d stay wrapped up in him for the rest of your life if possible. It’s why you never rushed him when he’d do it. You let him.

You want to let him now. But if you let him, he may never leave. You may never let him go.

You really should speak up, be blunt. Tell him that he didn’t come here to chit-chat and talk about why sex is beautiful or how this pizza is comparable to it; he came here to end this.

But if you did that, you’d have to acknowledge the prospect of closure again.

For you to receive proper closure on your end, there are unanswered questions that you need answers to.

You aren’t sure if you want the answers anymore because most revolve around his wife. The luckiest woman in the world, you think.

There are curious questions such as what her name is, how he met her, how long they’ve been married, and what she’s like… these aren’t important, just things that you’ve laid awake wondering at times when the guilt or jealousy started becoming too much.

Then there are questions like does he love her, why he did this, does she love him, why he did this, is he happy, why he did this, will he stay with her forever, why he did this…

Why did he do this to you both?

You know you’re both in the wrong. You’ve been sleeping with a married man, fuck, you fell in love with a married man, and you knew that he was married. That is wrong. So so so wrong. But you didn’t know at first. If you did, nothing he said would have convinced you to even look at him twice.

But it became regular. You slept with him once. Then you did it again. And you kept doing it. And at that time, while you were wearing those rose-colored glasses adorned in petals and leaves that fell off of him every time you crossed paths, you swore he was the one. Fell so quickly it was alarming.

Finding out he was married should have stopped this all. But you were already so fucking gone for him, so stupid in love, that you did it anyway. You told yourself that maybe one day he’ll leave her for you. You can run away together, build your own garden together, and live happily ever after.

It was delusional to think like this and you know it.

It’s exactly why you’re in your current position.

But you will never move on without the answers to those questions. You need to know, or it will plague you. This man planted your seed, nurtured your sprout, and made it grow beautifully into a flower. But the same man also put up umbrellas and blankets in an attempt to protect you from the rain and harsh sun, the harsh realities of his life, which really just made you wilt. You needed the rain, and you needed the sun; without it, you became tired and suffocated and confused.

He wanted so badly to protect you from the selfish choices he was making, but in the end, it just hurt you. Prevented you from flourishing to a full bloom like him.

And now you must pay the consequences, ask these questions you dread asking, and hear the answers that just might break you.

“Kook… we need to talk. Can’t put it off or you’ll stay forever.” You smile sadly as you pull him out of his rant.

He blinks at you, cheeks still stuffed with his third slice of pizza now. He knows you’re right. He knows damn well what he’s doing, he always knows. Always drags goodbyes out on purpose because he can’t fucking stand them.

He thought maybe if he distracted you, you’d forget why he’s here. It would turn into a normal night, and this entire thing could just be categorized as a brief nightmare… A man can dream.

He nods, looks sort of like a scolded child, and it makes your heart crack. Makes you want to cry, coddle him, coo at him, treat him like a damn baby even though he’s a grown-ass man.

“Right, sorry.”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sets his piece of pizza down, looking at it as if it kicked his dog. Starts biting at his lip ring.

You hate it when he does that.

Because you fucking love it when he does that.

“Y/N, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to… give you whatever you need to move one. So please tell me what you need. Just want my girl happy.”

His girl.

Funny, because it seems like a slip-up. It’s not. He knows what he said. He meant it. Doesn’t care if you scold him. Because as long as he’s here before he says bye for good, you are his girl.

You wish he wouldn’t say shit like that right now though. Just makes it so much harder for you. Reminds you that yes, you are his girl. But no, he isn’t your man.

If only you knew that he really is your man. You fucking own his heart, his soul, his body, his damn brain. You live in it rent-free. You consume him. Without you, he wouldn’t even have a flower, wouldn’t even know he’s capable of blooming.

But he knows he can’t give himself to you fully, not as long as he’s married.

Another reminder as to why he’s here.

You sigh, rub your forehead with the back of your hand. Because fuck, you don’t know either. You could ask the curious questions, the more necessary questions, you could pick his brain and pick him apart too, but you don’t want to deal with the heavy shit. Only what is needed.

Because you know that once he walks out that door, you’ll be fucked for a while.

So you grab his hand, the one that’s moved up and started tugging on his lip ring nervously. You intertwine your fingers, and hold on for dear life.

Deep breathes. This is needed.

“Why… why did you do this? Why did you cheat on her to begin with..? Have you done it before or like… fuck. I just wanna understand.”

The moment you ask if he has done it before, he lets out a laugh. An almost pained laugh, because of course you’d think that. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That’s what is often said. And Jungkook totally agrees.

But god, it isn’t like that at all. He is so against cheating. He thinks it is so selfish and so wrong. Yet here he is, in your apartment, while his wife is on a business trip somewhere in Paris.

He’s not a cheater. Doesn’t want to be called that. You just became an exception. What was going to be a mistake turned into the best thing to ever happen to him.

He’s not a cheater, he swears.

He leans back on the couch, jaw ticking as he keeps his eyes on the TV. He’s not watching it, couldn’t even tell you what’s playing, honestly. He just can’t stand to look at you right now. Not when you think he’s some dirty cheater.

He squeezes your hand to ground himself. So soft and small compared to his. Dainty and pretty, he’s always loved your hands. He swears they fit perfectly in his, as cliche as it is, like puzzle pieces.

Two wildly fucked up puzzle pieces that were from two completely different puzzles but somehow managed to fit more perfectly than any of the pieces that were supposed to fit did.

“No… you were my first when it came to cheating. Gonna be my last too. I’m not a cheater.”

What a contradictory thing to say. He knows it, too. He knows how ridiculous he fucking sounds. But he swears he isn’t a cheater. That’s not him. You’re not his mistress…

Just his fucking soulmate. Nothing too heavy. Fuck.

He sighs, scrunches his face a bit before letting his head fall back onto the couch. Still can’t look at you, so he fixes his eyes on the ceiling instead.

“Before we met, me and my wife… our marriage got complicated. I started noticing things I didn’t notice before, and she… changed. Wasn’t acting like the girl I used to love, but like a stranger. It was like as soon as she got comfortable in our marriage, she switched up… became the complete opposite of who I thought she was once we both graduated college.”

He wavers momentarily because he’s terrified you’ll think he’s making excuses. He’s not. He just doesn’t know how to fucking admit this shit. Has never talked about it with anyone. Has never admitted how utterly fucked his marriage is.

He doesn’t want you to see him as less of a man like his wife does. He’s fucking terrified that your last impressions of him will be similar to his wife’s ongoing dislike for him.

“We kept arguing, kept having issues… and she grew distant. I was having some issues, uh… getting it up. And when I tried talking to her about it, she just checked out it seemed. As if my dick malfunctioning made me unloveable or something…”

He scoffs at that, shakes his head. To this day it makes him feel like shit. Makes him feel unworthy of being called a man, her man. Makes him feel gross and broken. As if maybe instead of a flower, he’s a weed. A pesky weed she can’t seem to get rid of.

“There were other things of course, but that’s when she really pulled away. Wouldn’t look at me, or touch me… wouldn’t even give me a fucking hug. So it drove me kind of crazy, made me start doing stupid shit. Was a bad time.”

This is when he finally chooses to look at you. As much as he can’t bear it, he is itching to see if you’re looking at him with disgust yet. Has he become a weed for you, too? Fuck, is that all he ever was for anyone? Was he ever even a flower?

As he looks at you, he doesn’t see disgust. Doesn’t see anything, really. Which is almost worse because that means your walls are up. You’re building a fence as he speaks, as he shares his dirt-covered secrets with you. You’re protecting your wilted flower. He can’t blame you, but god, he fucking hates it.

“So I went to the club that night I met you, didn’t know what I was looking for. Just wanted to get some sort of rush, or attention… honestly was gonna flirt around but I never planned on actually cheating. I just wanted to feel… fuck, wanted, I guess… it was my fucked up way of proving to myself that I wasn’t unloveable. Pathetic, I know.”

He’s right about one thing: you are putting walls up. But not for the reasons he assumes… it’s because it breaks your heart to hear this shit. He keeps his eyes downturned as he speaks, and you see something in them that you’ve never seen before. They aren’t shiny and glittery and full of stars like they are usually; they’re full of shadows. Self-loathing. Resentment. Sadness.

He hates himself, you realize. It’s something you never noticed until now. Because when he’s with you, he doesn’t look like that. His eyes glitter the most. Full of hearts and stars and flowers, like in those cartoons.

It’s because when he’s with you, he doesn’t feel that way. He doesn’t doubt himself. He doesn’t hate himself. He feels full and loved and wanted.

When he’s at home, when he so as much thinks of his wife, he feels the opposite. He feels like fucking dirt. Like weeds.

So easy to forget about when he’s with you.

He debates on how much detail to go into about that night, about why he was so tempted by you. Should he tell you he got butterflies? That you stroked his ego in a way no one else has? That he thought for the first time ever, maybe his wife wasn’t the most pretty girl in the world, maybe it was you?

That he wanted to fuck your brains out but kiss you stupid afterward?

He doesn’t know. He wants to tell you these things because he wants you to know how loved you are. He doesn’t want to end this with you feeling guilty and undeserving because of what you’ve both done. He wants you to know that no matter how misplaced it may seem, you are the most lovable person he has ever met.

So fucking easy to love.

He clears his throat, tries to prevent himself from getting choked up. Squeezes your hand again for comfort, just because he can.

“Obviously I did cheat that night, with you. You were just so… fuck, so pretty. So cute. Was hard not to want you, especially with how you reacted when you noticed me staring… it doesn’t make it right, but I really didn’t plan to pursue you long term. Just wanted one night with you, wanted to feel wanted. Wanted to be touched and loved on so fucking badly, god…”

The glitter in his eyes returns.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you I was married. And I know I was so wrong for that. I should’ve told you, shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess. But I didn’t see the need to because I swear it was only supposed to be for a night, Y/N. I swear. Wasn’t even going to stay after we had sex. Was gonna go back to my wife and beg for forgiveness…”

The glitter turns into stars.

“But the way you touched me… the way you looked at me… the way you talked my damn ear off when we were done… I was so fucked for you. Probably sounds crazy, but it was bad enough that the sex was so good, that you were so damn beautiful it physically hurt me… what made me act stupid and ask for your number and stay the night was how sweet you were. How you really did make me feel wanted, you spoke to me like I was precious or some shit and all I did was fuck you.”

Because he is precious. If you grab a dictionary right now and look up the word precious, you are absolutely certain Jeon Jungkook will be the definition.

So fucking precious.

No longer stars, but hearts and moons and planets fill his eyes. The warm lights in your apartment reflect beautifully, making it so prominent, making the things you refuse to acknowledge too obvious.

He’s looking at you now. So adoringly. So hopelessly. And you see it again; you see exactly what you have refused to acknowledge every time he looks at you: he is so fucking in love with you, maybe even more than you are him.

Clear as day. Something you can’t possibly ignore or even deny in this moment. A Bearded Iris at full bloom, gifted with strength, love, care, hope, and admiration dedicated to you. The tips of his petals are adorned in a rich lavender color, and he swears that the color was stolen directly from your Aster. Speckles of you all over the Iris.

All because of you. Always you. Only you.

Much like your Aster, the flower rumored to have grown to resemble stars when there simply weren’t enough in the sky, his eyes glittered with those little stars, also only ever because of you.

His flower. His star. His love. His fucking soul. That’s what you are; that’s what you have been. Mistress by technicality, but god, you were never that to him.

You were everything. You are everything.

Seeing it, really seeing it, it changes everything for you.

But it still isn’t enough of an excuse to let this go on.

“So in short my marriage is fucked. Has been fucked for a while, way before you. I didn’t go out that night with the intent to cheat, but I did, because I’m a selfish bastard. And I kept it going with you because I’m a selfish bastard. Im so fucking selfish for you, Y/N. There is no excuse. But I don’t regret it. Don’t care if I go to hell, or if karma bites me in the ass someday. I would do it over and over and over again because I grew to love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my entire life, including my wife.”

And he did. He means that with his entire being. He grew to love you quickly, he grew because he loved you, he grew because you loved him.

You say nothing at first because it’s a lot to take in. He was honest, didn’t sugarcoat anything, and admitted to being selfish. Both of you are so selfish for each other, yet selfless when with each other. It’s all so fucked.

He’s being vulnerable, and you know that he is. He’s looking at you now, biting at his lip ring again. He’s terrified that you won’t like what he said, what he admitted. He’s overthinking heavily because if this is your last night together, he doesn’t want to leave with you thinking he’s an awful man. He’s not. He swears he’s not. He doesn’t want you to see him through the same glasses his wife does.

He swears to god that he will get on his knees again and beg for your forgiveness. He’s not above blubbering and begging again until you forgive him one last time.

But you don’t think any of that. God, you could never. You’re silent because you see him. You really see him. You see all of the things that you were in denial about before. The love, the trust, the adoration, the soul-crushing dedication that he has for you. You aren’t wearing any glasses… Not the rose-colored glasses you had on at first, not the smudged dirty glasses his wife wears, not the funhouse glasses that he wears when looking in a mirror, nothing. You just see him. Eyes clear, and nothing obstructing your vision.

Even with all of that, he’s still a coward. He’s still choosing to end this rather than leave his wife, who you hate even more now knowing what you know. But unlike before, you understand. You may not understand fully, but you don’t fault him.

This wasn’t him being selfish because lust was clouding his judgment. This was him being selfish because he truly did love you. Love makes people selfish. You’d be a hypocrite to fault him for that when your love for him has made you oh so selfish too.

And while all of this has given you the ability to breathe, given you some sort of closure you didn’t really realize you needed… it’s not enough to keep this going.

It can’t go on.

You could keep prying. You could ask more questions. You could dig through his dirt and find unnecessary answers about his wife. Feed your growing curiosity.

Or this can be enough. This can be the closure and the answers you need to move on… and maybe you can enjoy this last night together.

Just one more night.

Instead of feeding your growing curiosity, you can feed each others flower with your shared soil before you’re both uprooted and taken far away from each other.

“Y/N, please say something, I feel like I’m about to puke.”

You blink up at him, realize it’s been a few minutes since he last said anything. You were silent for an awkward amount of time, and his mind is reeling, full of anxiety because he has no fucking clue what you could possibly be thinking.

You give him a small smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes, squeeze his hand again before speaking.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. Zoned out.”

He bites his lip ring hard because, again, he has no idea what you’re thinking. Are you disgusted? Do you think he’s less of a man? Do you hate him now? Is his flower no longer as beautiful as you once thought now that you see all the creepy crawlers underneath his soil?

“Thinking about what?”

He tries not to sound too eager to know, even though he’s very fucking eager. He feels like his entire body is itching because of the anticipation; the not knowing kills him, too. Usually, he’s so good at reading you, your facial expressions, your eyes in particular, he swears he can read you by those alone. But he has no idea what is going through your head right now.

In reality, he’s just overthinking. He feels guilty. Guilty for how things have turned out and guilty for hurting you. The guilt makes the cogs in his brain move way too fast and causes him to be unable to process the shit he usually could.

You know this; you can easily tell by how he’s playing with the hem of his shirt and biting his lip. Also, the fact that he refused to look at you before but now literally will barely blink because his eyes are so intently on you, cataloging every tiny expression you make.

You hate how unsure he is now that he spoke the truth, as if all of this causes your love for him to wither away. It doesn’t. Not at all.

“Thinking about how that’s all I need regarding closure… would rather not talk about it anymore. Would rather just enjoy our last night as lovers together… if you want, of course.”

Now he’s the silent one… because, fuck, really? That’s it? You aren’t going to go in on him for being a scumbag cheater? You aren’t going to ask a billion questions about his wife? You aren’t going to take your weed-eater and cut him out like the weed that he suddenly is?

That’s it?

He stares at you, blinking a few times, as if maybe the more he blinks, the less delusional he’ll be. But your face says the exact same thing his did. You love him. You love him so goddamn much. He isn’t a weed; when he looks into your eyes at this very moment, he sees his reflection… and it’s the Bearded Iris. It’s him.

He’s your flower, just as you are his. You don’t hate him, you don’t even resent him… you just love him for what he is.

This makes it so bittersweet for him because for the first time in a while, he doesn’t feel totally worthless or unloveable. If you can love him, if you can see him at full bloom, then surely he isn’t broken and unworthy of love. It’s so sweet.

Bitter because he can also see the finality in your eyes. The love never disappears, but the goodbyes are silently written in your eyes. You’re stern in your decision. Jungkook is good at being delusional sometimes, but in cases like this, it’s impossible…

He knows it has to end. If you want it to end, he won’t fight. He doesn’t want to make you wilt anymore than he already has.

He just wants you to bloom. Even if it isn’t for him, he just wants you to heal, grow, and bloom all over again.

You can’t do that when he is weighing you down, tugging on your roots beneath the soil.

So he nods. Rubs at his eyes for a moment because he feels like he could cry, but he doesn’t want to cry. Doesn’t want your last night together to be full of sadness, just wants to savor it.

Feels like the last day on earth, almost. A similar feeling you get when watching those zombie apocalypse movies, and you see people and their loved ones spend their final days together before turning into zombies.

Maybe a bit dramatic, but there’s some truth to that… he knows once he loses you, he will become a zombie.

He brings your hand that’s still in his to his lips, and he places the softest kiss there while looking at you through his lashes.

“I’d like that. So much.”

You give him another sad smile. You feel the same, as if this is the end of the fucking world and this is your last night together.

You almost wish it was because then you could die together. You wouldn’t have to live with grieving each other when you’re both very much alive.

You wouldn’t have to watch his flower be torn out of the ground and carried away. You wouldn’t have to wilt anymore.

Dramatic. So fucking dramatic. But god, love feels dramatic. Especially love like this.

Next Chapter Here

#bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #18+ only #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts smut #jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook smut #i love jungkook

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justgottafinishthischapter · 1 year

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Writing Worlds: Homosexuality in Historical Settings

As someone who loves period romances and craves romantic relationships between queer men, it’s very alluring to write queer romances set against the backdrop of historical settings and time periods. But, due to the treatment of homosexuality for a lot of our world’s history, it can make it tricky to know the best way to handle this topic. Consider this to be a sister post to go along with my Writing Romance: Courting post. The two go hand-in-hand.

ESCAPISM VS REALISM

The first hurdle is to decide whether your story is an escapist fantasy or favors realism. In an escapist historical queer romance, the queerness is simply not an issue. The prince can flat out tell his parents to arrange his marriage to male suitors, and the only real reaction is his mother immediately listing off good matches for him. The conflict has nothing to do with the fact that the relationship is between two same-sex characters, and would work just as well for a heterosexual romance story. With an escapist fantasy, you can show the Count of Yorkshire navigating the hardships of courting by having multiple young men vying for his hand, or the whirlwind romance as he catches the eye of the Duke of Orleans. And this romance can be just as open and public as any straight relationship. This option would fall under Historical Romanticism, the term used for when historical settings are made to be more idyllic and favorable than they likely were in real life. The only media where this approach tends to show up often is Fantasy, in worlds where homophobia simply never really existed. The Elder Scrolls is one such setting where male gods are married to one another, other gods change genders and pronouns as they like, and your player character is free to romance anyone of any gender as well as adopt without anyone making biggotted remarks.

On the other hand, Realism in a Historical Queer Romance is going to come prepackaged with a lot of tension and angst, as it’s automatically a forbidden romance. Because homophobia is a real issue that real queer people deal with, having queer characters deal with these issues can help your queer audience feel seen as these fictional characters can relate to their own life experiences. It’s also just more historically accurate to have queer lovers needing to tiptoe around behind people’s backs and hoping they don’t get caught. However, due to this prejudice, it’s also very easy for such settings and stories to come off as depressing, and can perpetuate unpleasant tropes in queer media, such as Bury Your Gays, Unhappily Ever After, and downer Nomance endings. Because their relationship isn’t “appropriate” for public eyes, it makes it hard for the couple to have a truly happy ending. For someone who’s tired of dealing with homophobia in their own life, or it just being present in almost all queer media, it can be tedious for those who want an escape to enjoy two guys smooching while looking dapper in period costumes.

Homosexuality and Religion

As a medieval historian, I actually did a full research paper on homosexuality in the middle ages as a part of my final for one of my medieval history classes. I still have the paper saved, so let me share an abridged version. Pagan cultures might have had some issues with homosexuality, such as the Norse favoring the “tops” over the “bottoms”, a sentiment shared by both the Greeks and Romans. However compared to later eras of history, these Pre-Christian cultures had little problems with same-sex relationships. Every Greek God but Ares, Hephaestus, and Hades had at least 1 male lover, Emperor Hadrian had his boy-toy Antinous deified after he drowned in the Nile, and the Sacred Band of Thebes was made up entirely of same-sex lovers. The idea that homosexuality was wrong only emerged with Christianity. Just... not as soon as you’d think. Christianity became a wide-spread faith across Europe around about 300 AD, mostly spread by Constantine’s deathbed conversion to Christianity. However, it would not be until the 12th century that homosexuality as a sin would emerge. This shift first started during what is known as the Medieval Renaissance when Christian theologians like St. Ambrose, St. Augustine, and St. Jerome altered the theological discourse on sin and virtue. Prior to the Medieval Renaissance, the mindset was that simply being Christian and accepting Christ as one’s savior was all it took to get into Heaven. After the Medieval Renaissance, the focus shifted to individual sin and the worthiness of the individual soul. They came to view Earth as sort of a testing grounds or waiting room, and any temporary Earthly pleasure was a wicked temptation sent by Satan to lead men astray. How you did on the test impacted whether you passed or failed. One thing that was declared a sin was fornication without the prospect of procreation. And this went for everyone. Any sexual act that would not result in childbirth was a sin, because you were doing it for the pleasure, not for the purposes of making a baby. Furthermore, any position except Missionary was also sinful, again in an attempt to limit pleasure. Since cis-gendered homosexuals cannot procreate, any homosexual acts were universally labeled as a sin by happenstance. Later in 1179, Peter Comestor proposed to the Third Lateran Council a link between the biblical condemnation of sodomy with explicitly condemning homosexuals, and not just anal fornication as a whole, even stating that clerks found guilty of this act should be removed from office, and laymen should be excommunicated from the church. It is Peter Comestor and his stance on homosexuality that truly caused homosexuality to be labeled as a sin on principal, and is why so many modern Christians still believe homosexual relationships are sinful by nature. However, it’s worth pointing out that the time from when Christianity was a widespread faith in Europe (approx. 300 AD) to the Third Lateran Council (1179) is a span of 879 years. As of this point in 2023, the time between Comestor’s condemnation of homosexuality and the present is only 844 years. Meaning that Christianity has a longer history of tolerating homosexuality than it has condemning it. I say all of this because in any setting where Christianity is not a part of the worldbuilding, there is no reason to have homophobia, unless you replace Christianity with a similarly homophobic fictional religion, as George RR Martin does with the Faith of the Seven in A Song of Ice and Fire. As for Judaism and Islam, I’m at a loss there. My studies didn’t really lead me to those topics, and I can’t offer much insight there.

Handwaving Escapist Diversity

Let’s be real, we can’t even cast People of Color in fantasy stories without racists crapping their pants, so unfortunately, we’re going to face similar problems having queer couples openly courting each other in a historical setting. But, there are a few ways around this where we can have our cake and eat it too without the homophobes being able to hide behind “historic accuracy” as a reason to have a problem with queer romances in historical periods. It’s all about the genre. Let’s look at some of the genres we can use.

Historical Fiction: This is the base form. Any period piece is going to be historical fiction. However, Historical Fiction comes in a wide array. Historical Romanticism is the lighter approach, simply putting make-up on the era to make it more palatable and appealing. Think of Bridgerton where the dresses are shaped historically and the characters behave historically, but the Queen is a woman of color, and the dress materials are far more colorful and bright than they would have been at the time. It’s still the Regency era, just with a bit of rouge. On the other hand, there’s Alternate History. Historical settings where a major deviation has occurred in the timeline. Whether the Roman Empire never fell, the British crushed the American Revolution and took over the entire world, Christianity never caught on and the Roman Pantheon is the most widespread belief system, or the industrial revolution exploded even harder, resulting in a more Steampunk vibe. A major upheaval has altered the face of history, and your queer romance is set in an utterly changed world with a different timeline.

Steampunk: As I just touched on, your world can be more technologically advanced, however, Steampunk can also be a genre for completely fictional worlds, giving you a great way to have a story set in an era with an 1880s - 1910s aesthetic, but easily exist as it own world with its own history and values where homosexual relationships aren’t a problem. Steampunk is also the most optimistic and aesthetically oriented of the science-fiction -Punk genres, compared to the much bleaker and more cynical outlooks of Cyberpunk, Diesel Punk, and Gothic Punk.

Gaslamp Fantasy: Basically, Steampunk but with fantastical elements. It keeps that late Victorian - Edwardian aesthetic, but adds magic, faeries, dragons, vampires, etc. Now, Steampunk leans more Sci-fi, while Gaslamp Fantasy is more well.... Fantasy, so Gaslamp Fantasy does tend to lose some of the technological aspects of Steampunk, but it can also overlap with Magitech, a subgenre where machinery is powered and propelled by magical energy. So, you can very well have a Steampunk Gaslamp Fantasy where all of the steam and gears and machinery is powered by magic. It’ still Steampunk, so long as that train is powered by shoveling magic energy crystals into the furnace, instead of coal. Howl’s Moving Castle is a good example of how the two can coexist. There are normal trains as we see in Sophie’s town, but we also see Howl’s castle which can move because of Calcipher, a fire demon that needs to constantly eat a fuel source of one kind or another. The world is full of witches, magic, and curses, but there’s also muskets, trains, airplanes, zeppelins, and a castle that spews steam and smoke as it wanders the countryside.

Paranormal Romance: Especially common with Vampires, but the fallout of Twilight and Alpha/Beta/Omegas in pop culture has also led to a rising interest in Werewolf stories, and a recent trend has also swept Faeries into the pop culture spotlight as well. All three offer stories where one or both of your characters is an immortal (or very long-lived) individual. Perhaps their world is homophobic now, but when they met and fell in love, it was perfectly acceptable. Perhaps being alive for 800 years piqued the main character’s curiosity and they decided to give it a try. The long history of homosexuals being demonized has led to a large percentage of queer people identifying with the monsters and villains of media, causing them to see themselves in the hated monsters, demons, and vampires that threaten the heterosexual heroes of old.

Historical Fantasy: For everything else that’s not within that Victorian-Edwardian window, Historical Fantasy has you covered. From Cyclopes and Sirens in Ancient Greece to Dragons and Goblins in Medieval France, or a mermaid ending up in an Americana freak show, this pretty much covers ever kind of fantasy romance in a historical setting that’s not covered by Paranormal Romance or Gaslamp Fantasy.

Renaissance Punk: It’s like Steampunk, but the world’s technology resembles the contraptions of Leonardo Da Vinci, as opposed to the clockwork, gears, and steam aesthetic plastered onto the turn of the 20th century that Steampunk offers. Also called Da Vinci Punk.

Space Punk: If you’re wanting to lean more Sci-fi, you can do Space Punk. Think Treasure Planet, though I could also call that Sail Punk. It has a very Victorian clothing and technological aesthetic, but then space is full of a breathable Ethereum, and even Doctor Doppler’s “space suit” looks closer to an old-timey diver’s suit. But the ship has solar sails, the mast charges up with a power source that propels the ship into space, lockets project holograms of still photographs, cybernetic prosthetics are technologically advanced, and aliens are a common sight, even for the poorest commoner.

Same-Sex Courting for Escapist Romance

I touched on this in my Writing Romance: Courting post, but I’ll cover it again because it’s especially applicable here. The rules of courting in the 1800s relied heavily on gender roles. So, how does one make sense of courting rules when the couple are the same sex? The basic rule of thumb is that whoever is higher in status is the one to be chased, while the one of lower class does the chasing. If a Duke is looking for a husband, does the Duke chase Viscounts or do Viscounts chase the Duke? Always, the Viscounts chase the Duke. A Duke is a valuable husband, a prize catch those Viscounts would want to have. What if the romance is between two men of equal class? Two Dukes falling in love? The one who would take the more passive role is likely to be whichever is higher in the line of succession. During the courting phase, an elligible queer bachelor is likely to recieve many gentlemen callers. They would come to the bachelor’s house where his family could keep an eye on him, and judge his prospects. They would bring gifts and trinkets, and sit in the tea room, sewing room, drawing room, or whatever room is used to entertain guests. Gentlemen callers would then talk with the bachelor, recite poetry, play the piano, or whatever else they could to impress the bachelor and his family. Again, as I said before, the one being visited by gentlemen callers is whoever is higher up in the chain of nobility. The Duke’s family is going to scrutinize every gentleman who calls on their son, while the Baron’s family is going to urge him to call on every queer man who outranks him. The other thing to keep in mind is inheritance. The first-born son inherits everything, so a second-born son or third-born son will get nothing from his father, or best case scenario, he will get a small fraction of the family fortune from his father or older brother. In order for these younger sons to stay in the lifestyle they were raised in, they will have to marry someone who is coming into his fortune. In a setting where women can inherit her father’s entire estate, a lesbian would function the exact same as a gay man. Ergo, any queer romantic lead who is not inheriting his father’s full estate must seek a first-born son who will inherit his father’s estate. Meanwhile, if your protagonist is a first-born son, he is far more likely to be chased by the younger sons of distinguished families. Finally, when it comes to the social season and courting at dances, queer nobles would likely wear something to distinguish themselves from the heterosexual nobles at the party. Something to let the other guests know their preference in dance partner. That way, gentlemen know not to ask the Baroness of Agincourt to dance, but that the Duke of Orleans is all too eager to receive male attention.

Lavender Marriages in Realist Romances

A lavender marriage is when a queer person marries someone of the opposite sex to disguise their homosexual dalliances, such as Renly Baratheon marrying Margaery Tyrell, or Laenor Valyrian marrying Rhaenyra Targaryen. In these instances, the woman knew her husband was queer and was willing to work with him to keep the secret. However, sometimes the wife wouldn’t know, and the husband was keeping his sexuality a secret from everybody. However, it was usually hard for a noble to keep his dalliances completely hidden from the court, as in both of these cases, both Renly and Laenor were well-known around court to be fanciful of male attention. Everyone typically knows the wedding is a sham, but tend to turn a blind eye to it regardless. I know I’ve been using male examples this whole post, but this does also work with lesbian romances. I believe the term is still lavender marriage with a lesbian, but I could be mistaken.

Actual Homosexuality in Historical Time Periods

Scholars debate the exact nature of their relationship, but in Arthurian Myth, King Galehaut is conquering his way across Arthur’s Kingdom when he challenges Arthur to a duel for the throne of Camelot. However, upon seeing Sir Lancelot, Galehaut offers to concede to Arthur if he’ll introduce him to Lancelot. From then on, Galehaut and Lancelot became Very Close Special Guy Friends, and it’s suspected that the pair might be lovers, or at least that Galehaut is in love with Lancelot.

Leonardo Da Vinci was involved with one of his male models, Pietri Bandielli, who Da Vinci used as a model for Jesus. Which also means, If you pray to the white version of Jesus with the little beard and long brown hair, congratulations! You’re worshiping a gay Italian male model that used to have sex with Leonardo Da Vinci.

Hans Christian Andersen fell in love with the son of his financier, Edvard Collins. But, when Collins became engaged and later married to Henriette Tybjerg, a heartbroken Andersen wrote the story of The Little Mermaid as an allegory for his unrequited love. Collins was the handsome prince who didn’t return the mermaid’s feelings, Henriette was the Temple Girl who stole the mermaid’s love, and Andersen himself was the mermaid, unable to verbalize her true feelings, and suffering great pain just to be near the one she loves.

It’s mostly speculation, but it’s believed that Richard I of England had a clandestine homosexual relationship with Phillip II of France. The majority of evidence comes from one particular courtier’s writings who described them as eating from the same dish and not being separated by their beds at night. However, it’s hard to say if this is evidence of a homosexual relationship, or just the flowery prose writing of the time describing a very close bromance.

Edward II of England had little interest in war. Hoping to toughen up his son, Edward’s father assigned a squire to Edward that excelled in tournaments, Piers Gaveston. However, this backfired spectacularly, as Edward fell in love with Piers. Gaveston flaunted his sway over the king, being so bold as to wear royal purple and the queen’s jewelry during Edward’s coronation. Gaveston was hunted down and beheaded by a group of barons, and Edward himself was killed with a red-hot poker shoved up his backside.

King James I of England was a well-known bisexual, even having a secret passageway linking his bedchambers with that of George Villiers. James’ male lovers experienced royal favoritism and protection, as James absolved one male lover for poisoning a political rival, and twice protecting Villiers from impeachment for incompetency. Following James’ death, Villiers was struck through by a sword.

Anne Lister was a noblewoman who often dressed in masculine clothing and kept a coded diary which recounted her many and varied lesbian affairs over her lifetime. Lister even earned the nickname Gentleman Jack, and is often regarded as the First Modern Lesbian.

Pirate ships were one of the few places where gay marriage was legitimate. Pirate captains could perform marriage ceremonies, and marriages between male crewmates was not uncommon, even having rules about sharing property and distrubution of goods among crew members with a married couple on-board. As well as the distribution of property following the death of a same-sex spouse.

While we know that brothels and prostitution has existed since Ancient Greece, in the 1700s, it was possible to find a Molly House. A house which featured male prostitutes who catered to male clients.

Women were not believed to have sex drives, so when two women loved each other, they were often called “bosom buddies”, and two women living together without a man in the house was called a Boston Marriage.

In the medieval era, it was believed that a woman’s womb was naturally cold and had to be kept warm with regular activity. If the woman was unmarried, the womb was to be kept warm by hand. But since using her own hands would be sinful, it often fell to the woman’s female servants to do the deed.

Men and women often existed in entirely disconnected social spheres. For a man, he would go to work where he would only work with men, after work he would go to a local bar or club that was exclusively for gentlemen, and following dinner, he would often retire to a private room in his home or another man’s home to sit, smoke, and talk with his male colleagues. Even within a single house, men would retire to the gentlemen’s lounge to smoke, while women would depart to the sewing room, tea room, or drawing room to have afternoon tea with the other ladies. As men would spend their entire days solely in the company of men, and the same for women, many men and women only spent time together in public spaces, during meals, and when going to bed. Even then, it was not uncommon to see households where the man and woman had separate bedchambers, and the woman would only sleep in the man’s bedroom when he desired sexual congress. Even the Palace of Versailles had separate chambers for the king and queen. This gave queer couples plenty of time to sneak around without anyone being the wiser.

This to Keep in Mind

One of the biggest issues behind the AIDS epidemic was the promiscuous nature of gay lovers in the 1970s. Because gay men had to be discreet, they would often have anonymous relations in public spaces like bathhouses and bars. This combination of unsafe sex practices and anonymous lovers caused STDs to run rampant through the community, and allowed the AIDS epidemic to have a devastating impact on the queer community.

In Victorian great houses, the footmen were effectively the “face” of the manor’s servants, so height and attractiveness was favored when hiring them. As such, footmen make for excellent romantic interests in a historical time period, since they’re required to be attractive to be hired.

The mafia has a long history of working with and supporting the LGBT community. In the 1920s, nightclubs in the black districts of Harlem would host drag balls, these events being known as Harlem Nights. The mafia helped these groups to meet without police interference for a kickback fee. Even the Stonewall Inn had Mafia protection. In a world where homosexuality is still seen as a sin, think about what groups are willing to turn a blind eye in the interest of profit.

Homosexuals were among those rounded up the Nazi Party during the Holocaust. Just as Jews were forced to wear the Star of David on their clothes, so too were homosexuals marked with a pink triangle. The Nazi Party also destroyed research on gender and sexuality, which destroyed a lot of evidence that had been gathered of queer existence up to that point in time. Today, the Pink Triangle is among the reclaimed symbols used by the queer community.

Queer people found ways to signal to one another. At different points in time, the visual cues have included wearing green ties, having a red carnation in their lapels, and in the 1970s, a bandana in the back pocket was a common way of indicating someone was a homosexual, and the color would even further indicate what they were looking for. Many modern slang words even started out as gay code words so that gay people could talk in public without drawing attention to themselves. Codes like “buns” for butt are still in use today, but got their start as codewords to keep gay conversations undercover.

While we often remember the Red Scare of the 1950s, we often don’t mention that there was also a Lavender Scare at the same time, which hunted down homosexuals just as the Red Scare hunted for communists. It was the belief that homosexuals would be more likely to undermine American policies or spread information to enemy nations, and thus had to be kept down.

Rich men often kept “actresses”, paying for apartments for them, paying for their food, drink, fun, costumes, and whatever else. If they really were an actress or otherwise a struggling entertainer, it was not unheard of for the wealthy benefactor to pay to get the actress roles, pay for tutors and lessons, or even buying them an entire theater. It’s not so hard to believe that a wealthy gentleman could keep a male model, actor, or artist in good stead, especially because artists in particular flourished in periods where rich people would sponsor and commission artists to paint for them. And this can work for either type of story, as a husband or wife would be equally annoyed to learn that the Duke of Orleans is keeping a young actor on the south side.

Gif Sourcing:

1. Bridgerton (2020 - present) 2. Game of Thrones (2011-2019) 3. Mary, Queen of Scots (2018) 4. Downton Abbey (2010-2015) 5. Victoria (2016) 6. Cloud Atlas (2012) 7. A Place to Call Home (2013-2018) 8. Mary Shelley (2017) 9. Brokeback Mountain (2005)

#historical fiction #writing romance #gay romance #historical romance #period piece #period drama #courting #courtship #gay history #gay historical fiction #gay victorian #gay period piece #gay period drama #queer romance #queer history #gay love story

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kristailine · 3 months

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Tekken 8 storymode thoughts/rant/review

Obviously will contain spoilers

But I have to say that

Surprisingly, I really liked Tekken 8's story (which is something I really didn't expect. I was preparing to gaslight myself that I liked the story because I was expecting a mid plot. But I can definitely say that I genuinely enjoyed this installment's storymode)

I'm going to remove my kazujun stan lens for this review

Jin has always been an after thought to me. The only time I care about him is if it's connected either to Kazuya or Jun (as a kazujun shipper). But the way he was written in Tekken 8 added layers to him and developed his character well. Don't get me wrong though, IT WOULD NEVER REALLY ERASE THE FUCKED UP SHIT THEY DID WITH TK5-7, but Tekken 8 was sweeping up some of the garbage left behind.

I always joke about Jin and his war crimes. Obviously, waging war is bad irl, but this is fiction okay. Anyway, Tekken 8 somehow managed to make me really feel like Jin didn't want to wage war. It was more of a result of his own self deprecation. Add to this, he was already suicidal before he took over the Zaibatsu, but after Tk6, he just really sulked into the idea of having to carry his sins and let it define him for the rest of his life.

The way they turned Jin from this guy who's hopeless and is submerged in his own hatred towards his bloodline and himself to this guy who finally acknowledges that all of the bad things are a part of who he is, but it doesn't have to be who he completely is, was really really really written decently. This whole character development with Jin instantly makes Tekken 8 on par, if not equal to, Tekken 4 story writing. And I was really impressed and blown away with how they unfolded the development. Because I really didn't want the romanticization of all his past mistakes, and his allies just cheering him on. Instead, his allies actually acknowledge JIN AS A DEVIL literally and figuratively (e.g Hwoa saying Jin has those dope-ass powers, Leroy asking Jin who is he, Xiaoyu saying she isn't scared of Jin despite the devil look), but they all believed in the chance they gave him to atone for everything he's done wrong.

I wish we could've gotten more about the history of the devil gene. It's still a very vague concept, and I was kinda expecting Tekken 8 to answer most of the questions about it, but still no.

Although as a Jun stan, I'm upset she never really appeared in the real world, I have to say that I really like how they still kept going with Jun's persona as a mysterious woman. If you see a previous post of mine, I have always been scared that Tekken 8 would finally be the franchise who would ruin Jun's character, but they played safe with it. She's still as mysterious as ever, but they allowed her to show more of her kindheartedness.

Like I said, I really wish we could've gotten more. I wish we could've also got to explore Kazuya's perspective. It's been like 6 consecutive games, and we still haven't had a storymode that focuses on Kazuya's character (always the one sided villain). Although, I understand why they couldn't do it (maybe because of budget constraints, and it would really diminish and compress the quality of Jin's char dev if they're gonna focus on both of them). I'm assuming at least that we get Tekken 9 and have it shine a spotlight on Kaz.

Overall, I really liked it. It gets an 8/10 for me!

More things I kinda didn't like:

- Where the hell is Yoshimitsu???? He appears in the tournament and then goes Bye Felicia once Kazuya absorbed Azazel LMAOOOOO. His bio about investigating the Mishima bloodline and whatever didn't really reflect on the storymode :<<

- Nina and Steve.... Uhhh.... We already had them in Tk 7, and I was at least expecting that they would continue it in Tk 8

- The Asuka Kazama erasure.... She's just treated as another one of the side characters at this point. I fear she's just only in the game now because of Lili. She's very underdeveloped and underutilized and I feel so sad about it :<<

Tekken has a very interesting set of characters with amazing dynamics and chemistry with everyone else. It has a huge amount of lore to explore as well. And they could really do better by exploring and developing most of the characters. Here's to hoping we get a story expansion DLC not just for the main story, but also for the other beloved characters in the game.

#tekken #tekken 8 spoilers #tekken 8

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depravity-disposed · 2 months

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Hunger kink ask game: 5, 9, 13? 💙💖💛

5) Do you prefer for other bellies to be hungry rather then your own? What do you like about it?

👁️👁️ (HEAVY FUCKING BREATHING)

If you’ve seen my vore posts on my blog at all then y’all know that I am a MASSIVE gut slut for observer roles. I am down bad for two fictional Men right now so at any chance I get to imagine thier tums going nuts imma explode.

As for what do I like about it…. Idk, Power dynamic? I am a very submissive person when it comes to my favs, and a lot of the time I like to think that they would be stronger then me, so if they were to tell me anything about thier hunger I would melt- and this applies to future partners too-

9) Do you like hungry grumbling Or silent clenching? Tell us why!

Grumbling. My main turn on is Stomach sounds in general lol. Let me hear fucking starved you are, even if it’s just because you missed your usual snack in between meals~

13) What made you realize you were into hunger as a kink?

LMAOOOO lemme search the deepest parts of my childhood memories real quick-

Ngl, this is something that’s been with me since I was a little kid. Just didn’t understand why I got so ungodly uncomfortable whenever someone’s stomach would growl on a TV show up until puberty hit.

You want a fun little core memory? Do you remember those lunchables commercials from 2008? The one’s where the kids would accidentally forget their lunch and their hunger Growls would cause the whole neighborhood to shake like an earthquake? Yea.

I would literally turn off the TV, make a beeline to my room, and try to find that ad on my own TV before it ended all because of this fascination for stomach growls that I didn’t understand I liked at the time.

#asks #aak game

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ingravinoveritas · 9 months

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Why are people begging for Anna and Georgia to be in GO?! I’m genuinely wondering why cause they don’t fit in their world and if they were there, it wouldn’t be the Ineffable Husbands anymore, it would just be like a family reunion. Also, people wanting the girls to show up in GO as lesbian lovers to each other?? When have they ever been seen or hinted at any sort of affection towards one another? Georgia can barely stand her and Anna is….. meh. Barely on social media except only to post one occasional thing of Good Omens and then disappears into the night. Neil asking if Dottie and Sadie should show up in the next season and people asking if Georgia and Anna can play them…. It’s ironic cause the question was if Aziraphale should have a beard in season 3 and Neil took it as beards, someone used as a romantic partner to cover up the others sexuality. Veryyy interesting to see. Do you think Neil saying Sadie and Dottie are beards and people mentioning Georgia and Anna to play them means something?

It's honestly difficult to know where to start with this, because I have also noticed the uptick in people campaigning for Georgia and AL to be in season 3, apropos of seemingly nothing at all. There seems to be an assumption that Georgia and AL have the same kind of chemistry as David and Michael, when nothing could be further from the truth. By Georgia's own admission, she barely knew AL when the first season of Staged was filmed, and the entire "best friend" dynamic between them was faked.

A few years later, you have Staged season 3, where Georgia dyed her hair red to differentiate herself from AL since everyone kept saying they looked exactly the same. You also have a clearly established "throuple" dynamic between Michael, David, and Georgia that AL Is not at all a part of (and has seemingly been specifically excluded from), and Georgia only engaging with AL on social media when there is something to promote (such as Staged 3 being released on the BBC, to give a recent example) or on posts related to "business" things (Georgia commented on AL's new headshots, but not on the post for Mabli's first birthday, to give another example). Not to mention AL copying Georgia's personality and posting style at every available turn, because she desperately wants to obtain the same level of clout that Georgia has in the fandom. (This, despite Michael seemingly having faded her from his social media/any sort of public connection to her entirely.)

(Also, none of this even touches on what I mentioned in this post, about the sheer audacity in suggesting that AL and Georgia could play Aziraphale and Crowley, respectively, or how insulting that is to Michael and David...)

Now, however, we have this whole "Dottie and Sadie" business to contend with, which is on a level of ridiculousness I'm not sure I knew existed. Context, for those who may not know: "Dottie and Sadie" refers to Aziraphale and Crowley's fictional wives, which Neil started alluding to as part of his exasperated answers to questions on Tumblr. They are not real characters and have nothing to do with the GO novel itself. But it seems the fans have taken the idea of AL and Georgia as Dottie and Sadie and run with it.

Anna (who apparently has also started copying Georgia's habit of searching her own name on Twitter) has now added to the discourse with this QT today:

I'm truly baffled as to how so many people don't seem to see this for the attention grab that it is. This is a clear attempt at remaining relevant, as well as her trying to push her way into GO season 3. Yet it's telling that the part she is seemingly lobbying for is for a character that doesn't even exist, and has no bearing on the GOmens universe whatsoever.

What also bothers me (and I've heard this from a few people who've DMed me as well) is that this very much comes across as "straight girl making out with a friend as a joke." For all we know, AL could be bi, but she has shared so little of herself/shown no outward support for the LGBTQ+ community as to make it impossible to determine. Also the last thing Michael and David have ever done is play what is between them/Aziraphale and Crowley for laughs, so the fact that their connection and experience with their own queerness is so genuine only makes this comment from AL look incredibly fake, and like she is trying to be a pale imitation of them.

But again...and perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious part of all this...is AL apparently missing the entire point that Dottie and Sadie are beards. By saying she wants to play such a role, she is reinforcing the idea that she is only there to make Michael look straight, and that that is the purpose of their relationship. For as calculated as all of her posts/replies are, this almost feels like her accidentally telling the truth in the midst of a bunch of nonsense. Like you said: Very interesting...

I have more thoughts on GO season 3/the casting of family members--Peter worked well in GO 2, Ty did not--to share in my forthcoming analysis of the second season (I'm rewatching all of the episodes right now just to get everything fresh in my mind, but I will start writing/turn Anons back on soon), so I will end this here. But those are my thoughts on all these recent developments. Just hoping that all the fandemonium (fan pandemonium) dies down and we can have an honest discussion about season 3 one of these days...

#phantomstars24 #reply post #good omens #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #trying to provide a balanced perspective #but the obsession folks in the fandom have with georgia and al is really ott at times #also AL accidentally confirming she is Michael's beard may be the only good thing about this #i don't even know anymore #fandom woes #anna lundberg #discourse

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halliescomut · 11 months

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Thai BL: The Fanservice Problem...

Now here's the thing... I'm not here to offer solutions, though I do have proposed ideas that I may include at the end, but more just to breakdown my thoughts on fanservice in Thai BL.

First, we'll start with a general definition of fanservice:

I think that the connection to print media originally is important when we're looking at modern BLs series and movies, as they have a base in print media. In Thailand you have niyaai waai (“Y” novels), kaatuun waai (“Y” comics), as well as the Japanese Yaoi Manga and Korean BL Manwha that are very literally the basis for numerous series, in addition to original story BL series.

In terms of the fanservice we see in relation to Thai BLs...that goes a step further, moving out of the fictional world and into the real one. The fanservice we're now talking about is actors whose characters are couples often being paired for promotional events and they are expected to on some level act similarly to their onscreen characters. This includes individual character behavior, but also having the two actors behave in a way that could be (and is intended to be) read as romantic by fans. This includes a lot of different actions, but skinship (which I'll breakdown later), general chivalrous behavior (like serving your partner first), going on 'dates' specifically with the intention of presenting those experiences on social media. The important part about fanservice in this context is that it is always done with the intention of being seen by fans. It doesn't matter if it's a publicly streamed and hosted event, or just an Instagram post, if it's made public by the actor, or their company, it's intentional and it's likely fanservice.

What is the purpose of fanservice then?

Profit, essentially. For these companies, who both produce BL, but also often represent these actors as a talent management agency, there's a profit to be increased by presenting actors in this way. Having these 'couples' become popular to fans means continued view of future series, but also means that they can set contracts to have them promote various products. You will see the actors often promoting the same products that are used in product placement in their series. A brief list off the top of my head: the Lays chips, whatever that flavored water or juice they're always drinking in Wabi Sabi shows, Epson printers (I think it's Epson), various skin-care serums, L'Oreal hair color, the menthol inhalers, the list is likely endless. In the series, product placement gives them direct funds to actually make the shows, but by having the actors promote the same products, these companies are getting a percentage of that payment also because they are also working as representation for the actor.

To make easy numbers, while Gemini's contract might have been $1000 for this post promoting this brand of Ramen, because GMMTV set-up that partnership/contract, and they represent Gemini as talent, they'll get $200 for themselves, Gemini takes home $800 minus taxes. Again, these are made up numbers and I truly hope that no one is actually getting a 20% commission, but I trust none of these companies, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was higher.

But because this is genuinely how a good majority of production companies gather capital to be able to make shows, the more popular a ship is can directly equal out to how many ad partnerships they can create for them, as well as the price they can charge. In order to give an approximate view, I chose two actors from the same company, Domundi's Zeepruk and Tutor. Because of Zee's vastly higher popularity and the wide difference in follower counts I wanted to have a third actor for comparison, and so I chose PP Krit. It's not an exact match across the board, but I think gives a good view of scale. Here is the break down of their last 30 Instagram posts:

Now I'll start with some definitions of how I categorized things. Ads are things that have clearly been shot specifically to promote a product, and often have instructions in the captions on where to purchase, or specific benefits about the products. Sponsored posts are any posts where they tag a brand in the caption, but it doesn't have the detail of the Ad posts, or posts of them at a place or event where they were invited to attend by the brand for the purpose of being photographed there. Self-promotion is trailers, photos from their series, or fan events. And finally candid is any pictures that are just there for the fun, thirst traps, vacation pics, pics from behind the scenes of events, and while few of these are actual 'candid' pictures, they're not for the purpose of promoting a 'brand' in particular (outside of the fact they are all clearly intend to promote the 'brand' of the actor). The Couple+ 'whatever' is the same as listed above, but is for any posts that include the other half of their acting pair (meaning Yim, Nunew, and Billkin). The Couples Candid is only found once on a post from Tutor, and is clearly taken when they were filming their Tiktok BL short, but there's no tags for the short series, nor instructions on where to watch it, so I'm calling it a candid post. For PP Krit, there are two posts that I'm categorizing as 'Self-Sponsored' as one is for PP's own brand (Caremate) and the other is for a Car Repair shop owned by a family member. Later when I do math with this information those posts won't be included in the 'potential profit' as I can't guarantee he was paid, and if he was I doubt he charged his standard rate.

Looking at Tutor 7/30 of his latest Instagram posts are ads/sponsored and 5 of the posts are 'couple' posts, meaning they also feature Yim. For Zee 10/30 are sponsored and 5 of those are 'couple' posts also featuring Nunew. It's also relevant that the earliest post I counted of Zee is from April 8, 2023, for PP is April 6, 2023, and the earliest one from Tutor is from December 6, 2022. Given that we have about 30 posts from Zee in 2 months, I'm simply not going to scroll back to December to see what the comparison is time wise, but if the ratio remained the same 10/30 in 2 months, that would equal 30/90 over 6 months, with 15 being 'couple posts'. So you can see the difference made in terms of money brought in by more 'popular' actors. If we stick with our $ 1000 per post cost for individual posts, and double that for 'couple posts' ($ 1000/per actor) that's $ 45,000.00 total brought in and $ 9,000 kept by Domundi as commission. For Tutor, in the same 6 month span, he (and partially Yim) brought in $ 12,000, with Domundi keeping $ 2,400 as commission. That's a marked difference for Domundi. And completely ignoring the very high likelihood that Zee is probably bringing in 2 to 3 times what Tutor his because of his popularity and longer time in the industry. If we look at those same number with PP, he has 15/30 posts that are Ad/Sponsored, at $ 1000 per post that's $ 15,000 directly in PP's pocket essentially, since he has his own independent company that represents him. Which causes it's own complications, as he has many more sponsored and ad posts on his company account, many of which he also appears in with Billkin. (Sidenote: I actually find it fascinating that there's no sponsored/ad posts featuring Billkin on his personal account, in fact it's surprisingly rare for him to post Billkin on his account at all outside of stories, at least recently.) So all of this to say, you can see how having these actors promoted in pairs is more profitable for the company as far as ad promotion.

The additional benefit is we're looking at is fans being able to follow pairs through different stories. Like many fans of media, we will often find actors we enjoy, and then proceed to actively work to watch different projects they are in because we like them, find them to be incredibly talented, think they're handsome, etc. This general expectation is capitalized on by companies by having pairs act opposite each other in multiple stories. At this point for ZeeNunew and TutorYim, we've seen both in the Cutie Pie series, but both also have future work to look forward to. I've previously mentioned the BL Tiktok shorts with TutorYim, and they are going to be the leads in Middleman's Love, which is due to come out at the end of the year. ZeeNunew have a new film, After Sundown, as well as new series The Next Prince, and will be returning as Lian and Kuea in Naughty Babe as second leads. All of these future shows and series are produced by Domundi, meaning they will get a portion of profits from appearances, merchandise, etc. that goes along with those series, as well as the potential ads or product placement in the shows. There’s also a high likelihood that product placement in Naughty Babe will garner a higher price, as it’s a spin-off of an already popular show with already popular actors, where Middleman’s Love, as the first series showing Tutor and Yim as leads, would be ‘cheaper’.

Fanservice as perceived by Fans

Now this can be difficult to break down, because it all depends on the fan. Fanservice as a concept is widely understood by Thai fans. They actively recognize that it exists, and they enjoy it. Other East Asian countries also recognize that Thai BL employs fanservice, and while they accept and enjoy it, they generally do not want to see the practice taken up by BL actors in their own country. In fact, it’s generally rare for actors in BL series in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, etc., to have actors paired for multiple series, outside of appearing as the same characters over various series. The first to come to mind is the characters of Bo Xiang and Zhi Gang from HIStory 3 having in a small guest appearance in HIStory 4, played by the same actors, Wilson Liu and Zhang Han Yuan. Because they are rarely kept as an acting pair, fanservice outside of the actual scripted media is not expected and would have little benefit.

Moving away from East Asian, very particularly to Western, audiences where fanservice is something that many media consumers ONLY expect to see in the media itself, never outside of it. Speaking as a western fan myself, I was genuinely surprised at the amount of ‘bonus content’ that is the expected norm with Thai BL’s. The fan meets, sponsored events, concerts, the vlogs and excursions, the behind-the-scenes content, all of it is generally beyond what I am used to as an avid media fan. Director/or actor commentary, behind the scenes documentaries, while popular generally fell out of favor with the decrease in popularity of physical DVDs, as it was originally intended to be a selling point of purchasing DVDs instead of VHS. (But honestly, that’s a different post.) And observing the behavior as someone with the perspective of a western fan, it is both the requisite behaviors of fanservice, as well as the difference in cultural norms, that causes confusion and blurs lines. The number one thing that is seen as surprising by western fans of East Asian media, is skinship, particularly skinship between two men.

The concept of skinship isn’t directly unfamiliar to western people but is generally something that occurs between direct family members (parent-child or siblings) or between romantic couples. In East Asian culture it’s moves beyond familial and romantic bonds to include all platonic bonds as well. You can expect to see skinship practiced between any two people who are close and feel affection for each other. So, in the context of fanservice and Thai BL acting pairs, not every occurrence of skinship (hugs, holding hands, sitting especially close, playing with hair, fingers, etc.) is fanservice, but it is a tool in the fanservice armory. Given that it is a cultural norm, and that many of these actors are at least well known to each other and friendly, it is likely an easy one to enact in the name of fanservice.

Watching these interactions through a western lens however, causes the viewer to more easily see the behavior in a romantic context. And there’s honestly a lot of factors that play into that, the biggest being ‘masculinity ideals’ where most western cultures don’t promote or encourage men to show affection outside of family (generally strictly parents or children) or romantic couples. Then you also have good ol’ homophobia, men don’t want to show too much affection towards other men for fear of being seen as gay. And this is a very broad sort of description, as the ‘norms’ for what is acceptable platonic contact will of course differ in immigrant families, or indigenous communities, or among black Americans, even just geographically. I’m just a white person speaking from their own experience and observation, though I do have the benefit of knowing, working with, and interacting with a remarkably wide variety of humans.

Why is Fanservice a ‘Problem’?

If it’s widely understood that fanservice is an extension of the acting, that it’s very often something required by contract, that it’s not an indicator of a romantic or sexual relationship, then it’s not a problem. But that’s not widely understood. And that lack of understanding or even the preference of fans to ignore that knowledge has created a problem in the Thai BL industry. We’ve watched over the last several months personal attacks on actors for ‘queerbaiting’ (which is a term intended ONLY for fictional characters), fan clubs being upset over actors going to appearances alone or without the other half of their acting pair, personal attacks on close friends of actors (very particularly female friends), and even the attacking of an employee and friend of an actor for ‘pushing the fanservice agenda’. What is intended to be cute and fun, is turning into something that is having real life negative effects, both on the actors themselves, but also people connected to these actors. It’s also spreading beyond Thai BL, with fans (mostly western fans) being upset at non-Thai actors for not engaging in fanservice.

Fanservice, by virtue of it being monetizable, also indirectly exploits the Queer community. This is something that’s recognized and often brought up by western fans, as culturally, we’ve reached a point where the expectation is that Queer media will cast Queer actors in roles. This is done specifically in an attempt to help Queer actors to get more roles in the entertainment industry in general (which is a worthy goal) but is also only considered in the context that while being an out Queer person in the West is easier/safer than in many other places around the world. Many Western nations have not only marriage equality, but anti-discrimination laws that give additional protection to Queer people. And even with these laws there are still hundreds of thousands of Queer people who don’t feel comfortable being openly out in all aspects of their lives. In many East Asian countries, legal protection against discrimination is not guaranteed, and even in those countries with anti-discrimination laws, there’s often caveats. And that’s completely setting aside societal discrimination, which would be a top concern for these actors. Taking Thailand specifically, homosexuality isn’t illegal, but there are no laws in place for marriage equality or even the recognition of same-sex relationships. While there are anti-discrimination laws in place, those rest on the ability of a Queer person to PROVE discrimination, which opens its own can of worms.

So, what I’m saying in regard to monetizing or exploiting the Queer community, is that it is understandably frustrating for actual Queer people in Thailand to see actors ‘performing’ queerness through fanservice, and being rewarded for it, while many regular citizens are living in situations where being out could be damaging to their livelihoods, cause loss of friendships or family relationships, and even put them in physical danger. Now, are some of these actors part of the Queer community? We know for certain that some are, we know for certain that some aren’t, but the vast majority we don’t have any concrete knowledge of their sexuality or Queer identity (and we are NOT entitled to it!). But it would be understandable and reasonable, given the current political and societal landscape of many of these countries, that any actor would have to very seriously consider potential ramifications of being out. Like any Queer person anywhere, there’s a laundry list of considerations that have to be addressed. Top of the list is ‘Would I be physically safe if I came out?’ but you also have to consider possible negative effects on your career, the potential limitations if you want to move outside of BL to mainstream content. We also have VERY clear examples of societal discrimination and hatred towards openly Queer actors, both from ‘local’ fans as well as international fans. But we do very often see BL actors being openly supportive of their local Queer community, promoting proactive voting in elections, and even this past week making appearances at PRIDE events. This is in addition to potential work they are doing quietly to support the community, like donating to non-profits that work to assist or advocate for Queer people, both individually and as a whole.

So, What’s the Solution?

I have no idea. I stated in the very beginning that I’m not here to give solutions. (That’s above my pay-grade.) But I do have some ideas. Now, these are not going to be the easiest for many BL fans to hear, I’m sure. They bother me too, to be honest.

I think an excellent first step is to have companies be upfront about whether fanservice is part of actor’s contracts. We know for a fact that BOC does not contractually obligate fanservice, but any other production or management company that works in BL more than likely does, though the scale and level of expectation may vary. I don’t 100% know if this would actively work, at least initially, because the actors themselves are aware that fanservice can help to raise their popularity, which enables them to be contracted for ads, sponsored social media posts, and appearances, which is how most of these actors make the majority of their money, NOT through the pay they receive for their actual acting work. So, they may perform fanservice as it’s currently known even if it’s not contractually required, but I do at least prefer the actors being in control of the level of fanservice they take part in, if any.

A second step, or option, is to have companies not solely send actors to events in their ‘pairs,’ and not keep them in the same pair for multiple series. I think if a company took the step and intentionally mixed up their ‘pairings’, specifically those from lead roles, then we would see less direct attachment to the ‘pairs’ and more to the actors as individuals. This could help in the long term prevent the fallout we’ve recently seen from acting pairs “breaking up,” very specifically the hateful attacks we’ve seen directed at the separate parties. But I think it could also prevent the fans from ‘choosing sides’ as I’ve also been seeing frequently in online BL spaces. In other direct online discussions, I’ve likened it to having a friend couple break up, and all of the other friends in the group essentially have to pick a side. Sometimes, you knew one person before they were a couple, and you stick with them. On occasion, one of the people will have done something terrible, and even if you knew them first, you stick with the other person. But often these are people who became your friend already a couple, and neither really did anything wrong, they just grew apart…so is it right to throw one aside in favor of the other?? Or is it more reasonable and realistic to maintain friendships with both separately? In a similar fashion, when BL pairs go their separate ways, isn’t it more reasonable to continue to follow them separately, assuming you find them both to be equally talented, versus putting one aside?

As a supplement to my suggestion of not maintaining static pairings I made this lil picker wheel with the actors at GMMTV...

…to be honest I’m quite intrigued by the idea of First and Gun. Both are phenomenal actors. I can picture the vibe of a potential story, based mostly on my desire to see Gun as a homme-fatale. PICTURE IT: Gun is a sultry assassin, beautiful and deadly, First is the ever-weary federal agent on his tail…but he begins to find an interesting connection amongst Gun’s ‘victims’, they’re all users and abusers, arguably far more detrimental to society than Gun himself. As he tracks down Gun and learns more about him…he begins to fall for him. In the end…does he stay true to the commitments he made to his country, or does he breaks those promises in favor of following his heart??

Anyway...this was 3,500 words. Hopefully some of them made sense. PLEASE share your thoughts, if you have any on this subject. I'd be especially interested if you are outside of the US.

#Thai BL #Fanservice #BL Drama #ZeeNunew #TutorYim #BillkinPP #First Kanaphan #Gun Attaphan #I don't know what other tags to put #But I hope you appreciate this #It took me 6 hours #Love Y'all #Tong Thanayut #Domundi #GMMTV #WabiSabi #Be On Cloud #Me Mind Y #Dee Hup House

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thegoosetyrant · 22 days

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Heeeeyyyyyy I’ve never partook in the Sk8 fandom before because a very large amount of you are so deep in this new wave of fandom purity culture that it makes the fandom no fun to be in.

I watched Sk8 as it came out, and it was love at first sight. I loved the animation, the races, how colorful and stylish everything was, and I really related to Reki’s struggle with imposter syndrome and overall in just think it’s a great show that I love very much.

But I also found myself relating to Adam quite a bit. His struggle with his strict family, having to be two faced around your family and among your friends/community, wearing a figurative mask and wanting to be anonymous out of fear that your family will discover something about you that you don’t want them to see. It really struck a cord with me, I saw a major part of my life in him, as a queer person.

But no every single person who finds a shred of humanity in his character is called a p*do apologist. Cool guys, very mature. He’s a villain, everyone knows that, he does some p*do shit. News flash, he’s also not real, he can’t hurt anyone. Nobody who likes his character is a p*do you absolute dinguses. Who are you people? Are you the same people that call Rocky Horror problematic? Cuz Adam shares an incredible amount of similarities with Dr. Frankenfurter and everyone loves him (obviously what an icon). Do you guys just not like complex characters? Does every character have to be a paragon of morality? A villain makes the story. Adam is the reason the story happens, he causes the rift. What do people censor his name in this fandom? Like literally some of yall type shit like “ad*m” not even as a joke. Why do people refuse to acknowledge such an important part of why the story of Sk8 is so good?

Remember that one time that multiple Sk8 fanzines banned any content relating to Adam so a group of fans made an Adam focused zine? And someone reported it for sexual misconduct in and attempted to get it canceled only for PayPal to find no violations upon investigation??? Very mature guys.

I’ve been afraid to post anything about how I related to several aspects of Adam’s character and enjoyed how goofy of a villain he was because I was afraid of the purity culture mob making incredibly horrible accusations. I don’t think people realize how nasty and horrible calling someone a p*do apologist is. You don’t know what you are doing throwing those words around all willy nilly. Yall are the ones that are fucking things up. Literally censoring the existence of a character, what a joke. What are you gonna do next, burn any book with a queer character who just sucks? Yall would hate Anne Rice. No Interview with the Vampire? One of the most important works of vampire fiction that exists?Gonna burn some Rocky Horror DVDs and censor one of the most important queer movies of all time just because the villain was a murderer and sexual deviant??? Go to English class and learn some god damn media literacy. Pull that stick out of your ass and laugh a funny camp villain. See humanity in pieces of shit people because none of you are angels. That’s what’s great about fiction. You can do all that in the safety of unreality.

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #sk8 adam

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mrswint3rs · 3 months

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This is not an attack, more like a rant of my own but you see how you say everything is okay except for stuff with minors? You understand that some people’s limits are a little bit above just stuff involving minors?

You recognize that repulse you feel, that icky feeling, the feeling that you want to puke and you need to say, need to clarify that stuff with minors is not okay and shouldn’t exist?

Well some people feel the exact same repulse and icky feeling and the NEED to say that it shouldn’t exist when it comes to rape and incest.

I find it mind boggling that people are told to ignore, block and move on… and the same people will FOR SURE tear someone to shreds if someone wrote pedo stuff (rightfully so!) but don’t people understand that for rape and incest it’s the same thing? At least for a good chunk of people?

Like just IMAGINE being told to ignore, block and move on when someone is writing about minors, it’s icky, disgusting.

triggering topic warning!

i understand what you’re saying. (im terrible at wording things but) this is part of my point. Like when I find something involving a minor, no i don’t attack a writer directly or anon message. Yes its vile, but doing that is doing way more harm than good.

A lot of people are arguing the more you do attack, the more they’ll write. I agree. Which is why i think the solution is to block and move on. Im not trying to invalidate.

Attacking a writer for whatever topic it may be only encourages. Anon hate does no good because really who wants to listen to a stranger tell them not to do something?

i cant remember the account, but there was a minor on here who wrote incest about other minors. She got hate especially on anon and what did she do? Replied to the anon with more of what triggered them.

Another thing, like i said in the previous rant, the more you interact with darker content, by sending it, visiting the blog, commenting wtv, the more it will show up on your feed. That’s why ive said to block and move on if you dont want to see the content. The more you do to prevent these things (which for non-con, incest, rape topics and wtv else gets nothing but a community label) the more you’re pulling it towards yourself.

And not to be that person, but those types of fanfics have been around since forever, on ao3 especially. Part of the reason there’s been more lately is because of the complaints.

There’s also people who need to learn to read warnings above fics and on intro pages before interacting. I’ve seen people saying how a fic was super cute until they realized it had incest. I understand that repulsive feeling, but the warnings are there 9/10. Like i said, if they aren’t, there’s easy ways to ask the writer to include them.

It’s all about your own morals. Some people think writing for minors is okay, while you don’t. Some people may enjoy bdsm, and you don’t. Some may find comfort in writing for trauma kinks while you find it gross. Regardless of you find it wrong, the writers may not. In some cases that may mean they need professional help or something, but that isn’t your job to push. Either way, harassment to this degree is childish and does not fix anything. Only draws things out further.

Would we really do half the shit we write about in fanfiction in real life? Like if Leon was real, do you think he would realistically even have children? I don’t think he would. But it is fiction (ik that’s a very common argument but the point still stands) if the character was real, none of this shit would go down irl. This includes vanilla kinks - hard kinks.

Again, I see your point but I hope you understand what i mean by this.

EDIT (again sorry i keep adding on😭)- id like to point out how this anon was respectful even though they’re arguing their views. and not calling REAL people literal slurs and telling people to die for it.

#more yapping #fanfiction #dead dove do not eat #tw.incest #tw dark content

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pinkkinoko · 1 year

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A note I hope you read

Hello everyone! How are you doing? I have passed a little over 500 followers on here, I couldn’t be more grateful for all of you. Every lovely Billy fan out there, every kind mungrove lover who’s jumped into my inbox, who’s added notes on my posts, I could name you all individually, even those who know nothing of stranger things! I could shout out those special people who have influenced me in such a deep and impactful way, but I think you know who you are, trust that the gratitude I have expressed to you is genuine. There are many things I could share to celebrate 500 followers, like make a big art piece, or open up a poll, I could even try my hand at a giveaway, but those don’t feel like things I would do. I am, naturally, a very private person. I like to keep facts about myself to a minimum, I like to separate my online persona from my real life, and sometimes I think I may come across as a bit professional or insincere when I interact online with you all, but know that I only do that because it’s what makes me feel safe, and my affection for you is earnest. So, in celebration of what you have given me, I want to share a small part of myself with you.

Dear Billy, and truly mungrove, fandom,

Do not let someone tell you that you cannot ship something, or that you cannot love a character. Yes, I have indeed made my own posts and remarks about disliking certain dynamics or ships, but to truly hate someone for what they love isn’t in me. I’ve seen how horrible people can be about ships, about characters, and especially in the Billy and stranger things fandom there’s been such an intense amount of vitriol poured out, perhaps that is also why I like to keep my own details private. But whether you relate to Billy’s story, or to Max’s experience, or even if you just think Billy’s really damn attractive, I wish dearly that you know it is never necessary to explain yourself. I’ve been on tumblr for so long now, I have seen how much things change and I wish you know to never let something you love become something you hate because of others. You have all made my experience as a creator so very fulfilling, and I wish only to do the same for you.

A few months ago, I lost my own Billy, perhaps someday I will have the heart to sit at their grave and read my own letter. You never know who is affected by the things you write, the notes you post, or the comments you send. Be kind to those around you, be loving, and if all else feels impossible, simply be respectful. Some people may never understand what it’s like to resent someone so strongly and yet love them so dearly, to see how broken they are and still be cut by their shards. As I’ve said before, you can love characters for any number of mundane reasons, they are fictional; sometimes they are conduits for healing, sometimes objects of desire, sometimes they are simply intriguing.

I wish to be here for you all for a long time to come, and even if we someday go our separate ways, I wish you’ll take this as a fond memory. Thank you, for coming along with me this far, for in some way showing me that the small dream I saw as a child of doing something with my art was not impossible, and for allowing me to give the Billy in my own life some form of happiness they perhaps could never find.

All my love,

-PK

#billy hargrove #stranger things #fandom #pk's mushroom patch #let’s get along from here on out too #apologies again for the scarce content right now I have a lot going on

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juliapark13 · 1 year

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Jungkook is a real person, not a fictional character. Respect him.

Jungkook is one of the kindest, most lovely, talented and humble people in the world. I totally hate that Jungkook’s personality is being so disrespectfully misinterpreted by many of „his own fans”. Meanwhile their interpretation of him is the exact opposite of reality.

Taekookers with totally distorted point of view think Jungkook is a toxic boyfriend and V deserves better. This photos show exposed conversations of Tkkr’s Twitter accounts with nearly 10k followers.

Meanwhile Jungkook is the best boyfriend ever, someone can only dream of. He is that type of boyfriend who

makes a romantic travel vlog as a birthday gift for you

comforts you everytime you need

looks at you like you are his whole world

always turns his whole body and attention to you when you speak

drops everything and comes immediately when you call him you need him

gets up early in the morning and climbs a mountain to bring you snow because he knows you love it

makes you a bigger pancake

asks if he should cut things for you, because he doesn’t want you to get hurt

grills the meat, rolls it up and even feeds you and also blows the soup for you

writes romantic letter and posts thirst trap as a birthday wish for you

remembers even the smallest things about you

his mom says I love you immediately when she hears you

has the initiales of your name on his ring finger

Taekookers always say Bighit force Jungkook and V to hide their relationship and Jungkook and Jimin to do fanservice. It’s the most pathetic and desperate theory which they miserably need to fit their made up narratives.

Meanwhile Jungkook does what he wants, he can’t be controlled and forced to do something he doesn’t want. It’s something obvious, it’s his personality trait and also other members said it many times. Saying he is Bighit’s puppet and actor totally contradict his true character. When he wants to show us something, he shows it.

The biggest example is the hickey on MOTS DVD. Taekookers say the company would never show something like that, but it’s the exact opposite. They are testing their boundaries as a closeted couple and to get our reaction to it. Moreover if Jungkook and Jimin didn’t want it to be shown, it wouldn’t be on DVD. When you have distorted mindset for years, of course you can’t get something so simple and logical.

A lot of people don’t get how smart Jungkook is. They totally underestimate his inteligence and perfectionism. Saying he doesn’t look at the lyrics of songs he use, he didn’t know what kookminaredating meant when he added that account to his In the Seom club, posting at 23:08 is just a coincidence,…

Meanwhile Jungkook is a genius. He knows exactly what he does and he knows exactly how it looks like. He wouldn’t put J over M if it was for his name or for other members. It’s a fact that is very hard to accept. He wouldn’t do GCFT, or at least whole about Jimin and with that song. He wouldn’t suck Jimin’s ear in front of the 60k people. The „bite” wouldn’t be on DVD. They wouldn’t sing But I still want you instead of And I still want you even it was just Jimin’s lyric. All those things are deep and statements. They are both showing us what they are and it’s up to us if we accept that.

Nonshippers and anti shippers always dismiss them and downplay any possibility of them being more than friends. Saying we are delusional and we make them uncomfortable. Meanwhile it’s only them who are uncomfortable because they also see it, but they are ones who can’t accept it. It’s not about us imagining, it’s about us not ingnoring and paying attention.

Jungkook is a f***boy and a player. This is the most disgusting misinterpretation of Jungkook’s personality. Because he has tattoos, piercings and wears black clothes and it’s all you need to label him like that? It’s not funny even if some people write it as a joke.

Meanwhile there is a lot of proof Jungkook is in a long-term commited relationship with 1 person. But people will keep ignoring it.

A lot of misinterpretation of Jungkook’s character comes from the delusion and obsession with something which is not real. Those people are drown in their made up lies and false narratives and they aren’t able to see the truth. Jungkook said he monitors everything online. I only hope he doesn’t see all the trash there. But sadly maybe he does and that’s why he uses social media less and less.

#jikook #kookmin #Jungkook #Jeon Jungkook #Jungkook’s personality is misinterprated #Jungkook does what he wants

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bpdiruma · 5 months

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happy birthday, miu iruma!

by the time that this is posted, it is exactly november 16th in japan, aka miu's birthday!

read under the cut for a mushy personal lovepost about her

ok so i have been into danganronpa since like 2019. obviously i have had interests in between but danganronpa has always held a place in my heart. especially this girl. i must admit that she wasn't my favorite starting out (i still loved her though, she just wasn't my first favorite years ago, believe it or not).

timeskip like a year or two after i have been in the danganronpa fandom. i decide to revisit danganronpa v3 again because hey, nostalgia and it would be funny! why the hell not! but turns out me playing it for kicks changed my life.

i know it sounds corny to say a fictional character changed my life and saved my life. but its true. miu is a very special character to me that holds a place in my heart that no other character has been. not even characters i have fixated so deeply on in the past. miu just has something about her.

she really is everything to me and i see pst the jokes and comments she makes. she's a brilliant girl, she was one of the most important characters of danganronpa v3. without her inventions, the game would have been so much different. it's thanks to her that a lot in the game went the way it did. such as her cameras, electrobombs, electrohammers, bugvac, adding functions to keebo, the remote for the exisals, and not to mention the entire virtual world was changed and modified by her. she had a heavy influence on this game that i wish people acknowledged more.

she's also extremely sweet. despite the jokes she makes, deep down she's incredibly sweet once she trusts somebody. this is shown with her behaviors towards kaede and shuichi, once someone cares about her, she will be totally sweet and caring towards them and completely protective (saying lines such as "if anything happened to you i might go crazy") towards those she cares about. she has unique ways of showing it due to the fact she has had nobody over the years, but she still cares. she is so sweet deep down and it's another thing i appreciate about her.

also, her need to change the world with her inventions. that is something that has made me so emotional about, considering that it was her driving motivation. she wants to help, she wants to be relied on. to say she only cares about herself is a lie. she's so caring and she wants to make the world a better place. she feels like the world needs her.

i like to see past what she is portrayed as on the surface. she's a sensitive girl who just wants somebody to care for her. i hate when people reduce her down to jokes and inappropriate things or calling her dumb. because she's genuinely the complete opposite of that. her act with the jokes is all a facade, she hides herself with it. she admits to that. and you can see in her free time events as she gradually shows herself. there's more to her than meets the eye.

and she's just a character that resonates with me a lot. as someone who has borderline personality disorder, i see a lot of myself in her personality. obviously it is not confirmed if she has this disorder but so many of the symptoms line up. and even so, she has aspects just like me and that comforts me. to know i can love a character who has the same traits i do. it makes me feel less alone. she helps me feel heard, in a way. borderline personality disorder is incredibly painful and i can feel alone at times, but miu makes me feel less isolated and alone. i find comfort in knowing there's a character out there who is just like me. even if she's fictional, the effects she has on me as a person are very real.

usually when i'm feeling upset the first thing i do is look up any miu content, whether it's in-game clips, fanart, etc. just anything about her helps calm me down. she always soothes me and makes me smile.

i like to pride myself in knowing the most about her and i consider myself her #1 fan. i have consumed literally all media types of her and i have so much merch (might post a collection soon) of her. i analyze her character all the time and try to see all aspects of her. i will always defend her, she's my favorite character of all time. i love her.

happy birthday miu you always have a special place in my heart <3

#loveposting #personal post #happy birthday miu iruma #my number one comfort character #do not hate on me for being this emotionally attached to her pls #danganronpa #miu iruma #drv3 #danganronpa v3 #dr #iruma miu

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story-book-sillies · 8 months

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Requests are: CLOSED!

Hello everyone!

My name is Quizzy but you can also call me Ferret! I’m an age regressor!

I use Agere to cope with my anxiety and trauma and it is completely NON SEXUAL! Please do not follow me if you are kink affiliated or NSFW!

Tags:

Here are the Tags I use for my posts!

🌧️QuizzyQuestions: A tag I use for asking questions

🌧️Quizzyanswers: For answering questions

🌧️TrinketsForQuizzy: If you make something for me (Moodboard, Headcanons, fanfics, art, etc.) I’ll tag it with this tag so I can easily find it!

🌧️Quizzyrambles: For when I just want to say a load of silly stuff! Basically a collection of my thoughts!

🌧️Quizzyboards: The tag for all the Moodboards I have made!

…

Fandom List:

A lot of the things I’m into are pretty obscure, so just be aware that I might post about things that many people don’t know about or make content for! 😅

This will be added to as I remember the fandoms I’m in or if I join more!

Highlighted fandoms are my favorites!

Movies:

💕Anything Disney

🧸Christopher Robin (the live action movie!)

🔥Inkheart

✨Star Wars

🐉How to Train Your Dragon

👰‍♀️Corpse Bride

🪄Harry Potter

🕵️‍♂️Enola Holmes

Shows:

💙Tales of Arcadia (Trollhunters, 3Below, and Wizards)

🧺Moomin

👑Once Upon A Time (currently on season 2 so no spoilers please!)

Books:

🔥Inkheart

🪄Harry Potter

🌊Percy Jackson (I’m on book 2, so no spoilers please!)

…

Request Rules:

OKAY

So requests are going to be a little different now, because last time I got really burnt out and overwhelmed! So here’s the new rules!

(These are subject to change in the future as I figure out how to do different things and get more time!)

I WILL do:

🌱Agere fanfics

🪶Agere Moodboards and DNI Banners

🔥Agere headcanons

🌟Moodboards based on bands/music albums. As long as it’s not a moodboard for a real life person (like a singer or actor) I will do a moodboard for it.

I WON’T do:

❌Agere flags, or anything that’s not a mooboard or DNI banner (Because I don’t know how to do them yet)

❌NSFW, kink related stuff, anything that makes me uncomfortable, or anything from an R rated source!

❌I will not discuss political views on here as this is my safe space, so please don’t include this stuff into your requests!

❌I will not do any RPF (Real Person Fiction) related writing or moodboards, and I will not write anything for the following fandoms: Helluva Boss/VivziePop content, South Park, Heartstopper, horror movie content (there may be exceptions to this), or any show on Adult Swim! If you’re ever unsure about a fandom, please ask and I’ll let you know!

…

Things to Note!

⭐️For writing requests, those will be done at my own pace and are NOT guaranteed to be done, but I will try my best if I am interested in your idea!

⭐️I will only do writing requests for the fandoms I am in, but I’m willing to take prompts!

⭐️Highlighted fandoms are my favorites and are most likely to be done if you request them!

⭐️Moodboard requests can be from any fandom, but I can’t guarantee they will be very accurate if I don’t know what the characters are from. I’ll do research and do my best!

⭐️I am definitely up for moodboard trades too if that’s something you’re interested in!

…

🌲If you ever want to make me anything, you don’t have to ask, just do it! I will love anything my fellow regressors make me, so go right ahead! Also, don’t feel like you have to make me something, I’m just glad you’re enjoying my blog! I’m just putting this here just in case the question ever came up!

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

#sfw interaction only #sfw age regression #sfw agere #age regressor #age regression #agere blog #agere positivity #intro post #agere headcanons #TrinketsForQuizzy

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sunflowerdigs · 1 year

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So, I can't in good faith complain about the Succession trailers being 90% made up of cut scenes because, if I'm honest, the only reason I'm really upset about that is because of the cut Mencken scenes, which I was really looking forward to (and Tabitha!).

However, I feel like I need to say something about the Tomgreg stuff because it's been bothering me.

As a disclaimer, I hate Tomgreg. Truly. I blocked the tag earlier this year. Imo, it's an example of people taking a relationship based primarily in toxic masculinity and kind of transposing queerness into it as a reaction to the lack of actual queerness on the show. And I hate that tendency a lot. However, I'm also not the arbiter of which dynamics and characters people read as queer. And, clearly, a ton of people disagree with me. And for that reason, the reluctance to call out the marketing team for basically by definition queerbaiting with Tomgreg because they're technically not connected to the writing of the series is...Not Good to me. Because it kinda gives networks carte blanche to do that in the future with actual queer storylines and excuse it by saying that the marketing team wasn't aware of what the writing team were doing, they just wanted to sell a product. I can see a world where queer storylines become more and more cynically used for marketing purposes only, and aren't put into the text of shows or movies (or are added in sloppy, homophobic ways). And that's...not a great outcome.

It's tricky with Succession because it's just such a great show that you won't get very far criticizing anything about it. Black people have criticized its use of rap/hiphop music when there are zero black characters for years and those complaints have mostly fallen on deaf ears. Plus, tomgreg was never going to happen and there's also a really compelling reason for their dynamic drying up (it was 95% about power, not love or genuine caring, and in s4, they got that power).

However, as a closing thought, it's worth considering the huge difference between the way that Romangerri (which is in a similar spot) and Tomgreg were advertised for s4. They deliberately backed off Romangerri - they cooled the advertising for them right down to almost nothing prior to s4. Kieran and JSC haven't done a single interview together, I don't think. And there were almost no shots of them together on the red carpet. And I think they did that because the marketing team knew that falsely advertising a straight couple that straight people were excited about would get them in trouble (with critics who liked that couple, at the very least). However, at the same time, they ramped up the marketing for Tomgreg so hard that I was genuinely worried it might actually happen (Jesse is crazy, you know?). And I think they did that because, at the end of the day, queer feelings aren't particularly real for them. Queer couples and characters exist primarily to add color to the fictional worlds that straight people inhabit. And until that changes...more of this crap is bound to happen. It's a concern when straight people might be disappointed; queer people cannot be disappointed because our existence in fiction is mostly a joke anyway.

I guess my point in writing this is just to say that, although I loathe Tomgreg, I understand the desire for actual queer characters on a show as rare as Succession. I get how powerful that desire can become. And while I'm personally glad that their relationship isn't what shippers may have wanted, I understand also how the marketing for the show exacerbated those wants, and I'm sympathetic.

#tomgreg #succession #my thoughts

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5ungchan · 3 months

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not really a request, i just wanted to know the creative process behind you writing all of your fics. i love your style of writing sm, how do you chose the right words or come up with the ideas that you do :)

omg hello! thank you for stopping by. this is very sweet of you to say. it's a huge confidence booster and i will take your comment to heart <3!!

the creative process behind the ideas that i come up with, typically stem from a certain emotion i want to evoke. i'd like to consider myself a very observant individual (given my experience working with psychiatric patients and being in a hospital setting with geriatric (palliative), dementia patients & the ED most evenings.)

so when you look at someone who's an idol, especially when their identities are quite manufactured, it gives you some leeway with how you want to proceed with them as a character. a lot of people like to follow each other on how they perceive a member, but my advice would be to do it your way. take a look at the member, not when they're talking, but when they're standing off to the side during a video or interview. it shows you a bit of how they are when they're not actively "acting" their "personas" in front of the camera. obviously don't take this too seriously, we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. but it is for the sake of writing fiction, which isn't real.

from there, think about their personality and how you could twist that into pure, raw emotion. if someone's constantly happy, imagine how they could be when they're alone. sometimes the happiest, loudest people can be the most quiet and mentally conflicted (in terms of dealing with stress, sadness and those conflicting emotions) individuals when no one's watching.

i like to include something that personally makes me open up emotionally. that being said don’t be shy to explore topics that can be difficult to talk about openly! emotions are crazy bro. if there's something that hits you differently in terms of romance, etc. for example: you have a hard time loving others because you don't even love yourself. it can be sort've fleshed out into a bunch of small one-liners. and yes, i mean literal one-liners: just a sentence.

for example: "i just want to be happy."

a sentence like that shows (imo) the emotional decay and struggle that someone could be facing alone. it's a sentence that could be said with sarcasm, dripping with dark humour, or it could be a sentence of someone speaking their emotional thoughts aloud for the first time. i personally like to take the latter, the angst route is my favourite. especially since human emotions are so complex and very hard to navigate so there really isn't a wrong answer when writing.

from there you can expand. how do you want the character to proceed? are they going to be talking more, who are they talking to, etc. i personally like to add in a bit of the mise-en-scène (yes i throw this word around A LOT, but it's my favourite and something i always consider when writing.) adding in how the character feels emotionally, where they are and if that environment contributes to how they feel (for better or for worse) is important to describe and really flesh out the scene!

in continuation to the example:

“i just want to be happy…”

sungchan hears the way her breath falters, a slight crackle of static can be heard from the other side of the phone. the shuffling and shifting of bedsheets, blankets make themselves known, and he just knows she's drowning within her emotions. he doesn't push it, nor does he say anything. the silence continues to drone on for a few moments. allowing you to regain your composure, one that he knows you're struggling to keep pieced together.

it's almost as though he can picture your bottom lip quivering. a desperate attempt at silencing your emotions. feelings that had lingered far too long within the confinements of your mind. ones that had begun to seep past the windows of your soul, dripping down your cheeks like rain on a glass pane.

a sniffle rings through the phone, followed by a soft gasp. the way your breath re-introduces itself into the phone makes his heart stop. you'd been holding it all in. even something as simple as your breathing, was presented shyly to him. no matter how many times you'd shown your vulnerable emotions to him, you still felt afraid. afraid that he'd judge you, that he'd leave you behind.

but he hasn't and he won't. at least it's something that he's beginning to have a hard time convincing himself about. it's a scenario he's grown to know all too well. one where you're laying in that bed of yours, unable to sleep with your eyes focused on the plain, white ceiling above. it's a place you never leave. not unless, you find yourself sprawled out naked in his. at least then, you'd never be crying. the self-loathing had only ever commenced when you were alone.

anyways yeah I wrote that on a whim so obviously not the best (it's ass) but blah blah blah i also recommend never stopping with the first draft. look back on the paragraphs and re-write them directly under the first copy but allow yourself to filter out through some words, adding in new ones.

i almost always rewrite a story everytime I review it until I’m happy with the final copy! i personally enjoy using imagery (i'm not that good at it, but it's fun) it's also important to find your own tone, your own voice because that will distinctly make your work stand out from others because of how you are telling the story to your viewers! so yeah for myself when I write: IF IM HURTING MY GOAL IS TO MAKE YOU HURT WITH ME LETS CRY TOGETHER. then we can connect and discuss our emotions afterwards, maybe kiss, jk. unless? lmao jk.

final note: write for yourself. the best works come from what you’re personally content with and enjoy reading. people will find you this way and they’ll stick with you! your confidence can be a learning journey that other viewers can feed off of! energy is important! good luck!

#hope this helped!! thanks for your kind words anon 🫵🥺🥹#IDK WHY ITS SO LONG LMAO SORRY

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