#courtship

[yesterdaysprint]

Etiquette Problems in Pictures, Lillian Eichler, 1924

#1924 #1920s #roaring 20's #jazz age #etiquette #manners #advice #courtship #romance #dating #historic #vintage #history #roaring 20s #1920's

[melina-mellow]

YEAH JEN GET IT!!!

#she hulk spoilers #she hulk #jennifer walters #matt murdock #daredevil #courtship

[otterology]

Jessica Jones, who has Google Alerts set up for things like "devil vigilante", seeing a picture of Matt's walk of shame on Reddit:

#daredevil #she hulk #shehulk #jen walters #jennifer walters #matt murdock #jessica jones #the defenders #mcu #mcu headcanon #otterology's mcu headcanons #avocados at law #courtship

[inky-duchess]

Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque: Courting

This is a new set of posts focusing on the period of time stretching from the late 19th century to the early 20th Century right up to the start of WWI. I'll be going through different aspects of life. This series can be linked to my Great House series as well as my Season post and Debutant post.

I get asked a lot about courting, what's acceptable or what's off limits and how one may woo a prospective spouse. So let's explore how to win the hand and heart.

Meeting (not so cute?)

Firstly, it is really difficult to have a meet cute in the Edwardian era. Women and men are kept separate for most of the day, only really getting to meet at designated events: A dinner, a ball, a social event. Meeting in the park is a cute idea but a gentleman can't just approach a lady (or another gentleman) without being introduced by a third party, either a senior party or a mutual friend. However, an introduction at a ball is sort of like Cinderella's get up, it ceases to matter when the ball is over. Your gentleman must not approach a lady after that ball, he must be reintroduced. Once an introduction has been made, he can speak with her.

An Interest

When an introduction has gone satisfactory, a gentleman must make the first move by calling to her parents'/guardian's home and making a formal request to begin courting. Her parents/guardians must consent, usually leading to a short brief interview of the gentleman's family, his connections, his wealth (though in not so vulgar terms, they may inquire where he lives which is an indicator). The woman's opinion did matter, she could give her reasons for accepting or turning down the offer. When the interest is approved, the gentleman can start offering invitations.

Three's Company

Of course, just because the parents agree, doesn't mean the couple gets to be alone. The young lady will be accompanied by a chaperone either a lady's maid, a governess, her mother or another female relative. While the couple is together, the chaperone will always be a few steps behind or have them in sight. She's there to ensure that nothing more than a conversation happens. This is not only for her young lady's reputation but also to save the man from any claims of impropriety. The chaperone also serves as a sort of spy, gauging whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

Activities & Tokens

A gentleman may invite a lady out to lots of different activities. He can invite her for a promenade at a local park or gardens, out the theatre, visit her at home, invite her to galleries, to balls or to be his companion at sporting events such as the races, tennis matches or boat races. When visiting in the house, the gentleman would be expected to speak with all the family, be polite and courteous. This is how the family guages his suitably. The gentleman must provide transportation and funds for any excursion. Gifts are to be refined as well. Expensive gifts are considered vulgar and will likely be turned down. Small gifts such as flowers, books, cakes are acceptable. Gifts aren't as important as the time spent together.

Rules of Engagement

There are certain unspoken rules surrounding courtship that every gentlemen must follow for a successful courtship:

A gentleman should always pay attention to his lady, and not exclude her or cast her off for others

A gentleman never smokes in front of his lady nor forget to remove his hat.

A gentleman must always offer to refresh his lady on an excursion

A gentleman must defend his lady from any offense be it an insult or a scene unfit for her eyes or within an argument. Throwing in an apology for any offense can add a cherry on top.

However if she's the one giving offense, without any reason, the gentleman must seek to create peace, apologising on her behalf.

When walking, a lady will be placed in the inside of the pavement.

A gentleman should never spend above his means to impress his lady. Staying within his means is not only smart but a show of restraint and a glimpse of what life ought to be if they marry.

A gentleman should always offer his assistance when a lady is exiting a carriage or going up a flight of steps or carrying anything heavy.

If a man accompanies a woman to a ball, he's expected to dance with her on her first and last dances of the evening.

A gentleman must always make his intentions known and not string a lady along with no intention of marriage. He must never joke about his intentions or lead her on.

Marriage

Courtship usually promises marriage which is why a gentleman or lady should not enter into courtship unless they would consider marriage. Courtship may last a few months or a few weeks and while it is going on, both sides should consider whether marriage would be a viable option of either of them. Parents/guardians would be consulted, the gentleman must make his intentions known to her father or nearest male relative before approaching the lady and popping the question. A courtship that doesn't end in marriage is seen as a failure and may damage the reputation of both parties, leading people to wonder what happened and who is to blame. For example is a perfectly eligible gentleman will not marry a perfectly eligible lady or she turns down his offer, people will usually leap to the conclusion that there is something lacking.

LGBTQIA+ Courting

Gay people have always been here. They have courted and they have loved. Whilst it was illegal in this time in many parts of the world, love did prevail. (fun fact: lesbianism wasn't illegal because nobody wanted to explain what it was to Queen Victoria). The good thing to know is that courting whilst gay was likely easier in this period. Whilst there were restrictions and rules for straight couples and chaperones haunted their every step, none of this would happen if two people of the same gender stepped out together. Two gentleman going to the opera together or dining at a restaurant or attending a ball together (dancing in public was unlikely) or two ladies promenading in the park or attending a concert would not be examined like a courting couple. They would have more freedom to move around but of course, with legal impediments PDA was kept a minium. Whilst they wouldn't be allowed to marry legally, there was little stopping couples from moving in together. Nobody would say much about two spinsters sharing a home or two bachelors crashing together

#Etiquette of the Edwardian Era and La Belle Époque Courting #Courting #Courtship #The Edwardian Era #belle epoque #The gilded age #Edwardian #Etiquette #Fantasy Guide #Writing guide #Writing resources #Writing resource #Writer resource #Writer's resources #Writing reference #Writer reference #Writer's reference #writing #writeblr #writing resources #writing reference #writing advice #writer #spilled words #writers

[boy-warbler]

The pursuit of happiness. This Mallard female wants to be where the boys are

#birdwatching #birds #courtship #mallards #ducks

[fabrizio-art]

Dromaeosaur courtship- Dino Doodles

She's perplexed.

Inspired by the courting dance of pigeons. Not a specific species, I just wanted to have fun with the pose and familiarize with the body type, and I like the concept of bird beards, especially in bright mating colors.

A meme based on this artwork became the most popular tweet I ever made.

#dinosaurs #paleoart #digital art #artists on tumblr #my art #magnificent century level drip here #maniraptora #feathered dinosaurs #courtship #romantic #wholesome #cute #couple dynamics #relationship goals #find someone that gets silly like that #dinosaur masculinity #the future of men

[pratchettquotes]

"I take it there is no Mr. Ogg?" he said, eventually.

"Oh, yes, there's a Mr. Ogg," said Nanny. "We buried him years ago. Well, we had to. He was dead."

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

#casanunda #nanny ogg #lords and ladies #discworld #terry pratchett #courtship #small talk #awkward #widowed #necessity #semantics #we buried him years ago

[whydon-twego]

Courtship

"I want to court you" Merlin, lying naked beside him, sighs heavily and turns to look at him. "We've been over this, Arthur" Arthur remains silent for a few seconds, his fists closed and his teeth biting his lower lip because Arthur does not want to blurt out on the matter, not this time. "If I could woo you openly the nobles would not be piling like lions on a carcass!" Merlin raises an eyebrow and looks at him with an amused air "Am I a carcass now?" "You know what I mean!" Merlin sighs. "Is it because of Lord Smith?" Arthur does not reply and that is an answer in itself. "Arthur, you know perfectly well that I have no interest in anyone else, in any way, ever. And you know perfectly well that since you made me Court Sorcerer I can say no to anyone I want. So Lord Smith, like all the other Lords before him, got a resounding no for an answer." Arthur now turns to look at him, his eyebrows furrowed in contrition. "But there would be no need for all this if only we could say publicly that we are together" Merlin is tired of this talk, he is tired of Arthur bringing it up at every opportunity, and he is tired of always having to be the one to say no. "You need a queen by your side, Arthur. You need someone who can run a kingdom and help you run it and that someone is not me, more importantly, you need someone to give you an heir, and that someone is certainly not me." Arthur jumps out of bed and Merlin misses his presence, misses the warmth radiating from Arthur's body, his smell.

"You've known this about me for as long as we've known each other, Merlin, I will only marry for love and, above all, I will not have a Favourite, a lover or whatever the hell you want to call them"

Arthur is angry, wandering around the room always in his nudity and seems to have no intention of dressing even for this (umpteenth) speech.

Merlin's heart breaks a little.

"Yes, I know."

Of course Merlin knows, of course he is more than aware.

At that, Arthur's sky-blue eyes rise and go to rest on Merlin and Merlin has never seen him so serious.

"So you… so you think I'm going to get out of that bed one day and wake up a changed man? You think I'm going to wake up one day and think 'well, I'm not in love with Merlin anymore, I can move on'?"

Merlin's throat went dry and his eyes wide.

"Don't you dare, Merlin. You can't make that face, you can't be surprised to hear me say I'm in love with you. What did you think this was all about, a little game?"

"Hearing you say it is still different, alright?"

Arthur raises his arms to the sky and shrugs at him, starting to walk back and forth across the room, Merlin gets up to sit on the bed.

"You've been sleeping in my bed for over a year, Merlin. It's been more than a year that I've made you Lord, it's been more than a year that I've been going on and on asking you to begin a courtship in the light of day. What did you think that meant? Was I supposed to say it out loud? Well, I'll say it out loud: I'm in love with you, Merlin. For over ten years now if memory serves and I don't think it will be such a passing thing, your continued refusal of a courtship will only lead to a King ruling alone, unbelievably unhappy and sad when he has what he desires just a few mere steps away."

Merlin has brought his knees up to his chest as self-defence, because his heart is hammering so hard that he is afraid it might burst out of his ribcage.

Arthur approaches and in a few strides he is back on the bed, next to Merlin who is looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Arthur…"

"In fact, you know what, Merlin? I am your king and I am an incredibly fed up king, I command you to accept my courtship!"

Merlin stares at him for a few moments, astonished, and then bursts out laughing.

"You know it never did any good to order me anything."

Arthur is lying beside him now, looking at him hopefully.

"I am ready to accept any responsibility for it"

Merlin leans down to kiss him because otherwise he might do something as stupid as cry.

"I love you, too" he whispers.

"I know, because apparently I'm not the dollop-head in this relationship."

Merlin throws a pillow at him.

Arthur gets up and goes to announce to the court that he is about to begin a courtship with his Court Sorcerer.

"Put your clothes on at least, before you go out!"

Arthur does not. Merlin is madly in love with this too.

#merthur #merthur prompt #merthur idea #merthur fanfic #merlin prompt #merlin fanfic #merlin idea #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #king arthur #king arthur pendragon #melrin bbc #bbc merlin #courtship #my writing

[cryoverkiltmilk]

No longer rebloggable after sitting in my drafts for I don't know how long, but I refuse to not share this post.

Also

Sounds like christs-cock was pretty thoroughly activated in this story.

#other people's stories #romance #courtship #lgbtqia #fake dating #fake dating to real dating but one step to the left

[oasisr]

When men neg you by putting down your talents, run. Things will not get better.

Even if you aren't good at something and are just a beginner, he should not be mocking you or bullying you for that.

I'm not a great singer or painter, but I enjoy singing and painting sometimes. My ex would mock me and tell me that he wanted to marry someone who could actually sing.

I gave him another chance after he hurt my feelings. He was good for a couple of weeks, and then went right back to mocking me and putting me down.

Just run. You are beautiful even if you aren't good at everything you try. You don't need someone to put you down and try to harm your self-worth.

You are worthy of someone who will treat you like you are a special and beautiful woman. Because you are.

#fds #female dating strategy #pick me #pick me girl #dating #dating advice #Christian woman #Christian dating #courtship #stay strong #narcissistic abuse #verbal abuse #manipulation #neg #negging #men #moids #scrotes #Christian man #courting #pro tip #relationships #ex boyfriend #ex #exes #artist #art #singing #painting #singer

[fizzy-dizz]

Shawtys like a melody in my head

#steven universe #su fanart #blue zircon #yellow zircon #courtship #artz

[sapridart]

MY FAVS⚡️⭐️

#su #steven universe #steven universe pearl #yellow pearl #steven universe zircon #courtship #yellow zircon #blue zircon #sketchbook

[koytix]

MattJen…. <3

#koyart #daredevil #matt murdock #jen walters #jennifer walters #she hulk #marvel #mattjen #courtship #they came to me in a dream #Matt is Jen’s gf btw (this is a fact because I am actually marvel)

[merevide]

there's something about constantly setting jen up with a bunch of men who only value her for her looks as she-hulk, and then pairing her with matt who can't see her + does not care. i'm kinda onto something here just trust me.

#like he values her for who she is and not as who she's presenting as #even though it's unrealistic that absolutely no one wants jen in her human form. she's gorgeous both ways. #she-hulk #she-hulk attorney at law #jennifer walters #matt murdock #daredevil #courtship #my text #marvel

[artesie]

Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema. Courtship detail.

#mine #art #sir lawrence alma tadema #lawrence alma tadema #courtship #painting #romanticism #art2

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Hot take but the whole the Master continually offering the Doctor armies or half of the entire universe and the Doctor chasing after them across galaxies to defeat them sounds to me like a really elaborate courtship ritual 🤷

#i study biology i dont make the rules #doctor who #dw #classic who #dr who #new who #third doctor #roger delgado #delgado!master #missy #missy doctor who #twelfth doctor #thoschei #doctor/master #doctor x master #courtship #rituals #fifth doctor #ainley!master #tenth doctor #simm!master #fourth doctor #crispy master #threegado #twissy #tensimm #fiveainley #fourainley #sixth doctor #eighth doctor