#actually why did i exist?

[revvethasmythh]

it's so funny to me that caleb and veth really did just trade off the job of intensely pining for the other at like the halfway point of the campaign. like, imo, nott in the early days did not behave in any real romantic or even romance-adjacent ways toward him--I imagine it would be very hard to even think in that way when you hate what you look like so much, have such low self-esteem, and are actively lying about your entire past, including a secret husband. caleb, on the other hand, is kind of diving directly back into the sort of relationship he had with astrid and eadwulf. very close, very intimate, we-huddled-for-warmth-together-and-oops-it-led-to-something-else sort of thing. he is the one who expresses that he's fine with it if people think he and nott are romantically together when they're talking to keg. nott is the one who pushes back on that. he calls her his life partner. unknowingly, he compares his feelings for nott to nott's feelings for yeza. his behavior only really starts to change after he finds out about veth's husband because suddenly all of that other stuff is rendered inappropriate in retrospect. but even then he compliments her to yeza over dinner in the most awkward of ways, he admits to being jealous, he calls yeza "a lucky man" to have her, he stares at veth and yeza closed bedroom door for far too long, he creates an entire arcane tower with room for her family just so she'll stay with him. in general, his behavior is not, um, totally and completely platonic about it, you know?

like, veth's feelings for caleb are canonical and therefore indisputable in their existence, but caleb in the early days was not that dissimilar to how veth was acting near the end of the campaign. it really paints a picture of "right person, wrong time" in the way things just didn't line up for them. or, as veth would say: "in another world, maybe"

#i am actually thinking about this because my widobrave 2 poll had so many moments on it that caleb initiated #and i often see it remarked that people think widobrave is entirely one-sided and caleb only treats her as platonic or familial #which. my real answer is that it's just complicated and i don't think he'd ever admit to any romantic feelings being there #but i also. uh. i wouldn't call it platonic or familial. there is some holy fourth dimension that this relationship exists in istg #impossible to explain but it is NOT entirely platonic nor all that familial imo as it stands in canon #this is like. ONE piece of the meta I was trying to figure out how to phrase earlier today. bottom line of it was: #I don't think the caleb/veth romance is entirely one-sided but also it is so so complicated #their relationship changes SO many times. SO much. that's why it's so frustrating that fandom is stuck in episode 13 re: their dynamic #SO MUCH ABOUT THE DYNAMIC CHANGES AFTER EPISODE 13 #even sam reigel himself on talks said there was no reason their relationship wouldn't change/evolve after that #and it did change! it really really did! #widobrave #the mighty nein #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #critical role #inaugurating the new url with a widobrave post. as it should be

[yourcrazyboyokris]

Fun Animal Facts

Japanese Spider Crabs exist and they are after your left index finger

#Fun animal facts #Fun animal fact #fun facts #cute animals #animal facts #biology #crabs #satan’s pet #click clack #clackclackclack #Crab sounds #Screaming #silence #missing index finger for body not found #Dead body reported at scene along with crab leg #He eats your soul #animal #cursed #this actually exists and I want to hug it #Why did god punish us with this

[chalkeater]

Relatable

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #deltarune #susie deltarune #myself #fictive #fictives #susart #ikr what in the world. lol. anyway #@ my friends: im ok now i promise. i just find it so entertaining that crossover ins your brain can exist so i need people to see my #documentation #@ p Kris i lpve you and im ok i promise. just come on. simon petrikov and susie deltarune talking #like me talking to Twilight Sparkle is one thing but adventure time x deltarune is for some reason the one that actually makes me go #DID IS SILLY #anyway hes really nice its weird lol #i think i got adopted #also why is it so hard to draw him. wtf

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan #why did i actually write all of this #idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing #at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword #someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword #i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans #and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it #might write this #but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing #yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok #bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here #while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge #i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them #for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl #and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator #luo binghe #luo bingge #mxtx svsss #svsss #fanfic stuff #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss ideas

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

#hellsing #alucard #kouta hirano #translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent #fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online #i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443' #but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands #the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake #anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool #if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first #and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf #i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia #then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point #but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page #and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. .... #i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh #the hellsing brainrot runs deep #also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491 #except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo #the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002 #which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out?? #i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch #sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less #it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was #maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'

[d1sc01nf3rn0]

I'm seeing a lot of people with neurodivergency, specially under the autism spectrum say that "Laios is annoying, never shuts up, is insensitive, and I can't stand him"; and the irony is not lost on me lmao.

#like im sorry dude did you think all autism is “anime obsessed dude”? #how did you think neurodivergent people behaved on old times? #also like #being unintentionally insensitive is almost a telltale sign of autism cause you struggle with social cues #if anything i think a lot of you are finally habing to face your own internalized predjudices #“he is annoying” yes that's how ableist neurotypical people talk about us all the time tell me something i haven't heard already #like how do i explain to you that a lot of neurotypical people tal the exact same eay youre talkbing about laios #and is annoying when they go “but im neurodivergent! i can be biased agaisnt neurodivergent people” #yes you can because being neurodivergent is not a monolith and you are mistifying being neurodivergent #by implying theres some sort of virtue in being under the spectrum when youre as capable of being a dick just as everyone else #like you think you have autism but suddenly wanting to taste things youre not supposed to eat and not remembering peoples names is too much? #some of yall never experienced beinf a “weird kid” at a young age and it shows #and im not talking the “geek bullied” weird kid kinda way #im talking “the adults think I'm weird amd don't know how to deal with me” #WHICH FITS LAIOS PERFECTLY BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SCENE OF HIS DAD SHOWING HIM FALLIN AS A BABY #AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IS THERE NO EXPECTED REACTION FROM LAIOS #anyways im making this rant because is unreal how many posts of this exist #you think Laios is annoying cause he wont shut up? #congratulations thats how most people see us #now get over it or watch other series if you hate it that much #dunmeshi hell thoughts #weird rant i suppose #dungeon meshi #laios touden

[front-facing-pokemon]

#meloetta #okay. let's all be honest with ourselves. first of all‚ pirouette form that i didn't even know existed is under the cut #second of all. do any of us REALLY know anything about meloetta's lore? they show up in the gti postgame i THINK but i don't #even remember why they did that. something about helping you with the town building mechanics (which i still think is insanely cool) #and i don't think this “pirouette form” ever happens. in there. i think they're barely relevant even in gti #the hell is this thing? like. an event pokémon that was somehow even less relevant than genesect and keldeo? #if anyone knows what this thing is or what its lore significance is. then. i'd be surprised. lemme google it actually. bulbapedia time #okay…… plays music…… sings or whatever……… pirouette form is. normal/fighting? ok #bulbapedia dropping a whole-ass ♩ which i didn't even know was a unicode character #ok. it sings. why #yeah only ever released via event. sad? sad #it would be more sad if i knew anything about this bitch other than that they sing and that is it #why do they need to be mythical. what is the point

[seaglassdinosaur]

I know we collectively agree that Hiccup isn’t romantically inclined, and his getting married and having kids didn’t make sense in the epilogue, but consider: Hiccup getting married for political reasons.

It’s a marriage of alliance, which is recognized both by him and his partner, and they enter it without expectations of romantic involvement. Since they’re now married, they live in the same castle, spend time together, and Hiccup finds he really likes his spouse. They’re funny, get along with his friends, and has the same interests and values. They both probably speak multiple languages. She understands why Hiccup is so dedicated to making the Wilderwest better, and holds similar views. She’s a good politician (her job after all, was to be an ambassador). Hiccup likes spending time with them, and the feeling is mutual. They’re not in love, they have their own lives, but they’re dedicated to each other and eventually decide to raise children. They teach their kids how to train hawks and hunt with dragons, riding, history, the Languages, and all the necessary skills of their world. They’re not in love and they’re happy together.

#pushing the aromantic hiccup agenda and also the queerplatonic agenda #as much as the idea of hiccup getting married was always a little off to me it was more the romantic angle #which I why I like the idea of a marriage of alliance and a partner who understands that #and then of course the montage of them being a good team and getting along #and going ‘yeah I like this person. I think this is the person I want to spend my life with.’ #also a) a lot of arranged political marriages did have the foreign spouse function as an ambassador #b) polyglot hiccup is canon and I think it would be neat if his spouse was as well. it is a marriage alliance after all. #she isn’t from the small area of berm #(actually give all the Vikings regional accents. I think it’s neat) #c) she/they because I didn’t feel firmly about the partner’s gender and the nords were pretty gender diverse #anyway I think the partner would probably be fond of the library and admire hiccup got it open way back when #get along with Fishlegs and camicazi well enough #and enjoy dramatic stories of their adventures. maybe have some of her own #also: normalize people having their own lives outside their partners. hiccup and they are happy together but also have their own friends #oh and you know hiccup would be a great dad. he loves Stoick but he would so much be the dad he wished he had growing up #are the kids bio related? are they adopted (cast off and No Names)? who knows! #I could build in my head what hiccup’s spouse is like but I’ll leave it here #they exist as we construct them #httyd #httyd books #my post #book!hiccup #hiccup the third #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #book hiccup

[skitskatdacat63]

MARK IN THE BACK OF THIS CLIP IM DYING

#I NEED THE CONTEXT #IM DYING 😭😭 #but like???? is there an actual clip of this or does it only exist in the back of this clip ??? #but him dropping him to the floor like that LMAO #hes so flamboyant #when he was talking abt boys not doing fruity stuff yesterday he meant boys not men like himself obv 😤😤 #i love that when he yells/laughs its sometimes so high pitched dhjdkdk #BUT WHY DID LITERALLY DO A CURTSY SHFKKF #mark webber #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2023 azerbaijan gp #we do a little bit of f1

[stairset]

I think the portrayal of Spider-Man 2099 in Across the Spider-Verse is in-character in that aside from like Shattered Dimensions he's always been portrayed as a bit of an asshole who slips into anti-hero territory at times and generally has a "needs of the many over the needs of the few" mindset and given his specific circumstances in the movie it's not unreasonable to think he could take the actions he does. However it does kinda suck that since like 99% of moviegoers had no idea who he was before the movie came out their first impression of him is when he's in an antagonistic role and people think "antagonist" and "villain" are synonyms so now I'm gonna have to listen to people who've never read a comic saying he's a villain or isn't a real Spider-Man for the rest of time or at least until he inevitably changes his mind in the third one.

#hell you don't even need to read a comic just look up a let's play of spider-man edge of time you'll get what i mean #but yeah i saw a post that was like #''the first movie had a joke about how spider-man doesn't wear a cape and miguel has a cape they did that to show he's not spider-man'' #as if he hasn't had that cape since his creation 30 fucking years ago #he's not even the only spider-man to have one. spider-man unlimited is also a thing that exists. #even the first movie had that call-back joke where they see the peter from miles's universe had a suit with a cape #these movies have a lot of little details with deeper meanings but the cape thing just isn't one of them sorry #but yeah. play edge of time or find it on youtube it's good. #shattered dimensions is also good but miguel's personality in that game is closer to peter's for some reason #so edge of time is better for getting a feel of what he's usually like #but yeah i do think spider-verse miguel was probably more straightforwardly heroic like other versions before the whole dead family thing #and i think he and the rest of the spider society are just genuinely misguided about how the whole canon event thing works #cause like george and gwen don't die in every universe peter doesn't get the symbiote in every universe #even uncle ben doesn't die in every universe #but miguel THINKS those things always happen. that's why he got the others to believe it cause he genuinely believes it himself #and i think they all take comfort in the idea that these bad things that happen to them happen for a reason #i know that's josh keaton's interpretation for why spectacular peter joined and i don't disagree with it #that's also why i disagree with people saying that miles is The Only True Spider-Man There just cause he was the first to outright reject it #look me in the fucking eye and tell me spectacular peter and insomniac peter don't understand what it means to be spider-man #or actually don't cause i'll bitch slap you into next week if you do #miguel o'hara #marvel #shut up tristan

[writeouswriter]

>be me

>be listening to my sister’s new playlist in her car

>hear a song I don’t recognize that sounds weirdly like Green Day

>check the band that sings it

>huh, it’s not Green Day

>start to like the song and think about putting it on one of my WIP playlists because it’d fit really well and it’d be good to have some variety that’s *not* Green Day for this playlist

>get home

>forget for a few hours

>open eyes wide open in the middle of the night

>suddenly remember Green Day had a secret second band

>check the band that sings the song again

>it’s Green Day

#green day #WIP playlists #I forgot the network existed for a minute #the song was theory of reality if anyone is interested #the network is actually mostly kind of terrible ngl but I like that one #why did this get so many notes #not to forget their several other secret bands #nearly forgot foxboro hot tubs

[coquelicoq]

what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.

#the other thing i love about it is that in a very real sense it's his actor day job that is his alter ego #being an exorcist is his normie job. he's just a famous celebrity on the side #which isn't that uncommon in secret identity setups but it's still very funny #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #natsuyuu meta #my posts #f #i think probably the actual answer is that acting was a very natural career choice because he already masks so extensively #both to hide that he can see things other people can't (and that youkai exist and that he exorcises them) #and to hide what he's really feeling so that no one can use it against him #so if it's already something he has to do & he's good at it...why not have someone tell him exactly how to do it & get paid for it? #and the other part of the answer is that most ppl don't go into acting assuming they'll get famous. the fame was a side effect #so each decision as it was being made probably made perfect sense. but put them all together #and you have this hilarious assortment of elements that seem to directly contradict each other #okay also i would be remiss if i didn't mention the other possible answer which is that the attention came first and was unavoidable #and the acting developed from the need to protect himself from the attention that he was going to be attracting no matter what he did #because he's so beautiful. and (in the exorcist world specifically) because he's the last of the natori #the more i talk about it the more i'm like no becoming a famous actor was the only path that made any sense for him lol #1) he's gonna be watched no matter what bc he's him -> gotta figure out how to hide his secrets -> learn to act as self-defense #or 2) he's got secrets -> he's gotten a lot of practice hiding them -> hey you could make a career out of this! #all roads lead to actor natori shuuichi. and since he's beautiful...all roads lead to FAMOUS actor natori shuuichi #i love it when i ramble so much in the tags that i end up contradicting my own post lol #he's neither thinking ten steps ahead nor is he irrational. he's simply making sensible individual decisions #that follow logically from what is available to him and what his priorities are

[spookberry]

Its my birthday so im posting oc lore <3

#my art #my ocs #Anchor is a character thats existed for a long while but ive never actually drawn tbh #and now i have!! #the main characters of the story are all lowly fieldworkers lol but there are three angels that appearances too #Billy has the most and then Luci and Anchor are who she interacts with most so they get screen time too #Anchor's nicknames were given to her by Skid(Billy's team lead) who gives all the angels they meet dumb nicknames #mainly cuz angel names are all a little bit nonsense #anchor is like soooo cool for being a tertiary character that does not get delved into ever #why did i do that #skid was here

[supermusicallee]

NO other show in existence understands sister dynamics better than fleabag. especially from the perspective of older sisters i believe. having the same character yell "...you're fine! you'll always be fine. you'll always be interesting, with your quirky cafe and your dead best friend. you just make me feel like i've failed," AND "the only person i'd run through an airport for is you" !!!!!!!!! it's insane and it's exactly how i feel

#fleabag #i dislike anyone disliking claire because of that you'll be fine scene. that's the realest relationship between siblings are you insane #or maybe i actually am even more of a horrible person for thinking this #“we're not friends. we're sisters.” #terrible #magnificent #like i would die for her. i would kill for her. seeing her upset BREAKS my heart‚ i can physically feel it #i also can't help but feeling pettiness when everything comes so easily to her #all her bad moments make her more interesting and real while i simply exist like blank paper bc anything happening to me must be my fault‚ #while her misfortunes play like a melodrama #it's NOT her fault‚ but it wasn't mine either so why did i have to live through everything for her to have everything #okay wow i'm having a great night 🙃 #*nr

[eat-rock]

what is it about middle aged gym teachers that makes them single out the one disabled kid in the class as their arch nemesis

#why was i beefing with an adult at 10 years old #what did i do to you #besides exist and be disabled #being a gym teacher must have sadistic requirements #disability #disabled #disabilties #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #actually disabled #👁‍🗨

[dallonwrites]

this was supposed to be the quick set up to a flashback about trying to understand your friends chronic illness and pain from a time when he himself didn't yet understand it, from the pov of grief and irrational guilt, where the most important moment about that is after the events of this set up, but language wise she ended up doing the most and is now holding up the entire scene and therefore doing the most for the "trying to understand chronic illness and pain and your own guilt about it" themes. i fear the prose immediately after this is falling apart in my hands as we speak

#like why could this better function as its own flashback i might have to stick a fictive present beat between this + the rest #and yes i did force gossamer in here because rachels excerpt reminded me it existed #this was like i got a strike the first try of this writing session and its been gutter balls ever since. i dont actually know bowling btw