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221loislane · 11 months

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An Account of the Current OTW/AO3 Allegations

You may have seen talk flying around about drama going down with OTW (the Organization for Transformative Works) and AO3. There isn't a clear write-up of the situation on Tumblr, and since the allegations in this case are serious and OTW Board elections are coming up, I thought there should be a resource for people to get some basic understanding about the events.

This account is a burner, because the topics here are deeply charged, and I don't want to become a character in what's happening. I am not a member of or volunteer for OTW; I am not affiliated with End OTW Racism; I am not affiliated with Dreamwidth; I do not personally know any of the people involved in these events, or have personal knowledge of the events themselves. I am only compiling the publicly available events, allegations, and discussion into a convenient format for Tumblr. I will be heavily referencing the the similar compilation put together by Dreamwidth user Synonymous, but I am not Synonymous, nor do I know who they are. I am not, however, completely without bias; for one thing, I am writing this with the clear understanding that I believe OTW's treatment of its volunteers and policies on content moderation are both deeply troubling. If I did not believe that, I wouldn't have bothered writing this post.

This write-up includes events relating both to allegations about volunteer abuse and improper handling of CSEM moderation by the OTW, and to arguments made about the OTW's handling of racist conduct and about End OTW Racism's ties to the writer known as Stitch. I am including both of these threads because they are deeply related both causally and in the arguments of many of the people involved, and because volunteer abuse, CSEM, and racist harassment are all deeply serious problems.

This situation has not resolved, and therefore you can likely expect more to occur, probably relating to all of those topics. I have not yet decided whether I will continue updating this timeline, but it should at least give you a grounding in what's happening.

Heavy Content Warning for discussions of child sexual abuse material; abuse, harassment, and stalking; and interpersonal and systemic racism. All language in this write-up is non-graphic and high-level, but some links include more detailed descriptions.

The Events

June 24, 2020: In the wake of George Floyd's murder and in response to pressure from people including Black writer Stitch (of the blog Stitch Media Mix and Teen Vogue) and fan studies academic Dr. Rukmini Pande, the OTW makes a statement promising to review their policies and procedures and take steps to protect users from racist harassment. The specific promises they make are:

Giving creators more control over the comments on their works.

Improving collection searching and filtering.

Improving admin tools for responding to Policy & Abuse reports.

Reviewing the Terms of Service to potentially allow Policy & Abuse to respond to more kinds of reports.

Reassess the required Archive Warnings and consider adding more.

Continue working on user muting and blocking.

They also say that they are considering "reaching out to an external contractor or partnering with an advocacy group," i.e., a diversity consultant, to help with reforms.

August 8, 2021: As part of their July newsletter, the OTW announces that it is creating a new officer role in the organization to research options for diversity consultants.

May 7, 2022: The OTW makes a public statement on their website that an unknown attacker has sent CSAM (child sexual abuse material) to some of their volunteers' email addresses, that they are working with authorities to find the attacker, and that response times may be slower than usual, as they have "shut down a number of internal tools" in order to protect their volunteers and the investigation.

May 8, 2022: Dreamwidth cofounder and former head of LiveJournal Trust & Safety Denise (rahaeli on Twitter, synecdochic on Dreamwidth) posts a Twitter thread urging any current or former OTW/AO3 volunteer who has provided the organization with their real-life name ("wallet name") to contact their local police department and let them know that they are at an elevated risk of swatting. She also provides advice on disabling image auto-loading in emails and dealing with trauma and anxiety from being exposed to CSAM, and mentions that she has contacted AO3 to offer help.

June 16, 2022: As part of their April newsletter (delayed several months due to the CSAM attack), the OTW announces that a Diversity Consultant Research Officer has been appointed.

May 10, 2023: The Tumblr account end-otw-racism publishes its first post, End OTW Racism: A Call to Action. In it, the anonymous authors call on the OTW to implement the changes that they promised in 2020, especially:

Hiring a diversity consultant within the next 3-6 months.

Updating their harassment policies and protocols to address on-site and off-site coordinated harassment.

Creating a content policy for content that is abusive in a racist manner.

As part of their background establishing the problem of racist abuse and harassment in fandom, they link to several articles written by Stitch on their commentary blog, as well as a couple of posts from other fans. In their FAQs and other posts, the organizers of EOR clarify that they are not calling for the removal of any racist fic, but fic that is written specifically with the intention of perpetrating racist harassment or abuse. They also urge supporters not to berate or harass anyone for disagreeing with or failing to support their campaign.

May 17, 2023: An anonymous user asks about the End OTW Racism protest on the anon-meme Dreamwidth community Fail Fandom_Anon (FFA). As part of a tangent in that discussion, an anonymous former volunteer member of the OTW's Policy & Abuse Committee (PAC) mentions that they handled CSEM (child sexual exploitation material) tickets as part of their work, and that the OTW did not provide sufficient resources or expertise in dealing with them either emotionally or logistically. They describe themselves as being traumatized, burned out, and overworked during their time in PAC. They also mention that there was an earlier CSAM attack, targeted only at PAC volunteers, prior to the one that the OTW announced; that they were the volunteer who handled reporting to law enforcement; that the PAC chairs urged Legal and the Board to prepare for more attacks, but that nothing was done; and that the OTW did not provide any mental health resources for volunteers after the CSAM attack. (Here is a link to the user's top-level comment; read down the thread for more.)

May 20, 2023: Dreamwidth user chestnut_pod posts an entry called Be More Democratic, Be More Autocratic, OTW. The thesis of their post is that the OTW fails to adequately respond to racism on AO3 because of structural problems within the organization that amplify biases and make change difficult to achieve, and that in order to address racism and other problems more effectively, the organization should create a clear and straightforward command structure. They also advocate for creating some paid roles within the organization. The comments of the post become a kind of referendum on OTW's organizational policies, and some former volunteers show up to say that chestnut_pod's description of the problems with the org's structure tally with their experience.

May 23, 2023:

An anonymous user links to chestnut_pod's post on FFA. In response, the same former OTW volunteer describes various details of how the Policy & Abuse Committee (PAC) made decisions during her time there. (The description covers a lot of comments, so with one exception I'm linking to Synonymous's overview rather than the individual comments, but you can find all of them either through Synonymous's links or by reading down the FFA thread.) The upshot is that PAC often found it difficult to address racism, abuse, and harassment due to roadblocks and micromanagement from OTW's Legal Committee. In particular, the user mentions that they wanted to remove photo manipulations of real-life minors engaging in sex, as well as ambiguously-sourced explicit gifs from underage fics, and were told that they could not by Legal. (I have described the user's objections at as a high a level as possible, but the language used at the link is much more detailed and explicit.) A subsequent, current OTW volunteer says that since the first user left, the policy has changed to allow PAC to remove similar gifs.

Denise leaves a series of comments on chestnut_pod's post saying that the PAC policies described there run counter to industry best practices for Trust & Safety. In response to a commenter asking whether she could advise OTW, Denise says that she has offered several times, and only heard back from the organization once: after she posted her Twitter thread in response to the CSAM attacks, "at which point it immediately became extremely clear the person in question was more interested in protecting the external reputation of the organization than in listening to any advice I had to give and the only reason they'd contacted me was to pressure me to remove my Twitter thread."

In response to Denise's story, Dreamwidth user azarias reveals herself to be the anonymous former PAC volunteer on FFA. In a series of comments on chestnut_pod's post and FFA (bulk of the information in this comment, but see Synonymous's compilation or read up and down the thread for more), she relays the following story: On May 6, 2022, shortly after the CSAM attack, azarias was kicked out of the OTW volunteer Slack with no notice and no communication. When she realized several days later that this was not an organization-wide shut down, she emailed the OTW Board, Legal, and the PAC chairs asking about the situation, and whether she was a suspect in the attack. The chair of Legal, Betsy Rosenblatt, responded, apologizing for the lack of communication and saying that the shut-out was at Legal's request because they thought azarias' account may have been compromised, but she was not a suspect. On July 22, 2022, having heard nothing further from the OTW, azarias emailed again asking about reinstatement, and Betsy responded that they had just that day started that process. (EDIT: Azarias clarifies that her original stated date of July 22 was an error; she checked on her status July 4, and Betsy responded July 6.) All of azarias's accounts had been deleted, so she returned to the OTW with new accounts, and was informed by her PAC chairs that they were not consulted or informed about her suspension until it happened, were not told why she had been suspended, and were ordered not to speak to or about her during the suspension. Due to awkwardness, trauma, and burn-out, azarias quit volunteering soon after.

May 30, 2023:

On FFA, an anonymous OTW volunteer (not azarias) comments that the OTW Board has posted an update to Slack addressing azarias's story (though she is never named in the update). The update confirms that Legal made the decision to suspend azarias, and says that the Board was not consulted on or informed about the decision to either suspend or reinstate her. A statement from Legal is also attached. The statement does not in any way dispute azarias's timeline of events, and outwardly apologizes to her for the distressed caused, but it also contains several strong insinuations that the letter-writer believes that azarias was responsible for the CSAM attack.

In response to this letter, Denise posts a statement on Dreamwidth and Twitter recommending that any person currently volunteering for the OTW should resign for their own personal safety.

June 3, 2023: Azarias (now posting under her real account, which FFA allows people who are players in the events being discussed to do) comments on FFA that she has consulted a lawyer regarding Legal's insinuation, and has been advised that she doesn't have anything to worry about, legally. She explains some more of the details behind the situation, and discusses some of her guesses about the current situation at the OTW. (For clarification, the Heidi she's referring to is Heidi Tandy, a longtime member of OTW Legal. During the heights of Harry Potter fandom, Fandom Wank coined the term "Heidipology" to describe what they believed to be Heidi's pattern of making insincere, backhanded apologies.) In the comments, anonymous users discuss the fact that OTW's Legal team is made up entirely of IP lawyers, and not lawyers who have expertise in criminal law, nonprofit governance, or Trust & Safety. (Link goes to Synonymous's compilation.)

June 12, 2023: The OTW publishes a statement addressing the End OTW Racism protest. They thank the organizers for holding them accountable, list the steps they've already taken in addressing racism (mostly muting/blocking abilities and similar), and reiterate that they are working on hiring a diversity consultant and reviewing PAC policies. They also say they will improve transparency and communication.

In the comments, azarias (and several others) push the OTW for a retraction of Legal's letter. Azarias also pushes the OTW to make real progress on racist abuse, rather than paying it "lip service." Azarias reveals that she was the Board's original pick for the Diversity Consultant Research Officer, but dropped out. (Further comments later and earlier at FFA clarify that she dropped out due to the OTW's one name policy, which requires that all work that a volunteer does for the OTW be done under a single name; officers are required to serve under their wallet names, and azarias wanted to do her PAC work under her fandom name and not link that to her wallet name, and when OTW didn't let her, she resigned. Link to Synonymous's more thorough compilation of this story here.)

Also in the comments, several users respond to the OTW's statement by posting racist abuse and racial slurs. The OTW leaves the comments up for several days before finally screening them.

June 15, 2023: Denise posts a thread on Twitter, shortly after compiled on her Dreamwidth, laying out what she consider's the OTW's "absolute failure" at Trust & Safety. Among other things, she claims that:

Photomanips of minors in sexual situations, "however terrible or obvious the Photoshop job is, qualifies under the third definition of 'child pornography' as given in 18 USC §2256(8)(C)."

She believes that the OTW may not be in compliance with legal obligations to preserve information about reported CSEM, due to its policy of deleting author information about orphaned works.

In this post, Denise also elaborates on the story she told in the comments of chestnut_pod's post. She says that in May 2022, before the OTW made its statement about the CSAM attack, several volunteers reached out to her for advice, and she learned that the attack emails included threats to expose identifying volunteer information to, among other places, Kiwi Farms, a site whose users have previously swatted many people. In response to this, after the OTW's statement, she published her Twitter thread advising volunteers to alert their local law enforcement, and also reached out to the OTW to offer resources, contacts, and advice. In response, OTW Legal member Rebecca Tushnet called her and spent half an hour pressuring her to remove her Twitter thread.

At the end of the post, Denise briefly touches on the End OTW Racism action that began this conversation, saying that she appreciates their work, but believes that their proposed solutions will not be effective, both because the OTW's organizational dysfunction makes it impossible for them to moderate racist content, and because PAC must moderate "conduct, not content." She says that she "firmly disagree[s] with the foundational work their campaign was built on."

June 16, 2023:

In response to several people asking for clarification on her statements about End OTW Racism, Denise posts a follow-up Twitter thread (which has not at this time been crossposted to Dreamwidth). She says that a diversity consultant will not effectively address abuse because the current OTW culture is resistant to change, and that reviewing TOS policies will not be effective, because the current TOS already allows for moderation of abusive conduct, but PAC has not been empowered to enforce it. Instead, she claims that progress on moderation of racist abuse can only truly be made once the organization's systemic issues have been addressed. She also believes that End OTW Racism's messaging is counterproductive, "because of its repeated failure to differentiate between content and conduct." In particular, she argues that, "by citing so heavily to the foundational background work by people who *have* repeatedly called for bans on work that 'reflects racist and bigoted stereotypes', and by failing to differentiate the two except in passing, the campaign has positioned itself in such a way that it will be, and I'm certain has already been, dismissed by the OTW." She does not mention Stitch by name, but it is clear by context that it is the citations of Stitch's work that she is referring to.

After someone DMs her to request she take down her clarifying statements about End OTW Racism, and various people supportive of EOR on Twitter denounce the statements, Denise posts a follow-up statement to Dreamwidth and to Twitter. She says that she has been contacted several times over the past few weeks by Black fans who have been harassed and abused by Stitch in racist and racialized ways, and who showed her screenshots of these interactions, which Stitch has since deleted. She says that because these fans are afraid to speak up for fear of further harassment, she offered to relay their concerns about a campaign based heavily on Stitch's writing. She does not provide the screenshots, in order to prevent the fans from being identified. She reiterates that she agrees with Stitch and with EOR that the OTW is failing to respond to racist abuse and harassment, but that she disagrees with their approach and proposals. (For what it's worth, as I said up front, I am not personally acquainted with either Stitch or Denise, and have no personal knowledge of events, but Denise is not the first person to accuse Stitch of racist harassment. There has been a great deal of discussion on FFA, both well-sourced and not so much, detailing Stitch's past behavior. I am linking to this round-up so that people can find it, but with the exception of those that directly link to the evidence, and one or two that reference Stitch's public writing, I do not know the accuracy of any of the claims, and I do not know the source of some of them. The allegations listed also vary wildly in their degree of seriousness, ranging from "actually harassed someone" to "said something distasteful," to "is friends with a known serial stalker and harasser.")

The OTW posts a newspost addressing Denise's original (June 15) thread and allegations. The say that they are in legal compliance with CSEM reporting procedures, that they provided resources to volunteers following the CSAM attacks, and that "the Legal Committee has always worked closely and cooperatively with the Policy & Abuse Committee, and continues to do so." They do not reference azalias's accusations or Denise's claim to have been pressured by Rebecca Tushnet. In the comments, azarias, Denise, and many other users, both anonymous and signed, express outrage at the OTW, and push for answers, apologies, retractions, and in some cases the resignation of Legal and/or the Board.

End OTW Racism posts a statement acknowledging the OTW's acknowledgment, and calling for supporters to donate to the OTW so that they can vote in the upcoming Board elections.

June 16-18, 2023: A group of people on Twitter, Tumblr, and Dreamwidth post individually and in conversation about Denise's comments on Stitch and End OTW Racism, defending Stitch and arguing that Denise's claims about them and disagreement with their and EOR's work are racist, unfounded or overblown, and a derailment from EOR's mission. Some of these are the same people who are in the comments of the OTW's response to Denise, pushing for the OTW to respond to azarias's allegations. (These are not inherently contradictory positions; I just want to note that both the personal and ideological stances here do not necessarily line up neatly into, say, pro-OTW and anti-OTW.) See, for instance, naye's Dreamwidth post, fiercynn's Dreamwidth post, or pearwaldorf's Tumblr post.

June 18, 2023: Denise posts a Twitter thread going into much greater detail about the number of fans of color who reported to her that Stitch had harassed them ("a number greater than five and less than fifteen"), and the severity of their claims ("Several of them said the harassment they experienced was so severe and pervasive that it caused them to change screen names, leave fandom, or otherwise restrict their conduct online.") She also gives a detailed, step-by-step outline of how she went about verifying their claims to her own satisfaction. She continues not to give out identifying details to prevent further harassment.

[Updated June 19, 2023 to correct language around the attack on OTW, which was a CSAM attack, not a CSEM attack.]

#otw #ao3 #organization for transformative works #archive of our own #abuse #harassment #racism #cw csem

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vintagexherry · 7 months

Text

Act

YandereDirector!Miguel O'Hara x Actress!Reader

//Dead dove do not eat,Lying in public, Kidnapping, Fake Death, Mild stockholm syndrome, Lyla being a wingwoman, Heavy Abuse, half drowing, Heavy animal abuse, Animal death, implied sexual abuse.

A/N: 2nd winner of the poll, Have this for awhile while I get busy with school and might not upload TFTD soon

---

"She was the kindest person I worked with, she knew what to do and how to do it professionally. We might not have that much time together, but for whatever it's worth, she was truly a unique person..."

Miguel paused for a while, holding back a sob from his throat.

"I wished for Y/N's family and friends my condolences and not to forget my gratitude for bringing up a person like her in this world."

With that, Miguel left the podium with a solemn expression, cameras flashing from left to right. Nosy interviewers pushing up microphones his way, trying to one up each other, hoping their questions will be answered.

That day was grey, gloomy, and depressing. News have found that you have gone missing the past few months and after multiple searches from the government, you were now declared dead.

Some people believe, some don't. Mostly, conspiracies would say that you were still alive, crawling on the ground out of a hole where you were said to be buried alive by some jealous actor. Some would say you got abducted or kidnapped by some crazed fan.

It's still a mystery if either you're dead or alive, disappearing just after your premiere show.

But that's what public only knows.

Miguel enters the backseat of his car on the way to his private mansion in some woods. He let's out a small chuckle.

"Great work out there, big boss"

A woman who seemed to be younger than Miguel sits at the driver's seat, she started the car and drives away, away from cameras, away from people and away from suspecting ears.

"I wIsHed HeR faMiLy mY ConDolOncEs" Lyla mocked as she stopped in the middle of traffic.

"Just drive, Lyla," Miguel huffed, but nonetheless, still happy, he finally got out of that stuffy crowd.

"Whatever you say boss."

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

A few minutes passed by, and they finally arrived in a land barricaded by gates and high security cameras and sensors.

The high tall gates opened up to let the car in.

"Were there any distubance with Y/N?" Miguel asks as he leaves the car and goes straight to this house with Lyla closely behind.

"Aside from going to the bathroom and playing with the cat, nothing else seems out of the ordinary."

"...Really?"

"No kicking doors, no attempt to break windows and nothing else. She seems to be adjusting well."

Miguel went silent for a while as they passed by the garden and fountaine, where you and him would (forcefully) walk side by side, that is, until you tried running away.

"That's... Good to hear. Thanks, Lyla."

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

"How's your day, dear?" Miguel approaced your form, sitting on the bed, petting your beloved cat and looking out the window.

"Alright......How's... Your speech? Lyla told me you had one"

He almost forgot Lyla would tell you things he currently does, but he's thankful she doesn't go to detail.

"It was nothing special. But other than that, I got you a little something."

He held a in a sigh as you merely looked at the bag by his hand.

He took the bag and landed it on the bed beside your form and looked at you patiently.

You hesitated a bit, He can understand why.

He spoiled you lots and lots thanks to his rising director career, but his gifts can vary a lot. To dresses, to jewellery, up to sex toys, and lingerine.

You remember one time you got gifted a lingerine version of your fictional character suit, and you refused to wear it. Next thing you know, you were forced to be naked for three days. Your usual thick blanket got changed into a much thinner one, rendering it almost useless to the cold temperature Miguel set your room in.

You decided to accept his gifts no matter what they are.

You placed the cat next to you while cautiously grabbing the bag as if it could explode any second.

The moment you opened the bag, you let out a breath of relief.

Inside was a box of necklace, with it, come matching earrings.

"Thought it matched your eyes, mi amor."

"...Yo-you shouldn't have."

"You're right. I shouldn't, but I wanted too, anyway.Why don't you try it on?"

Without waiting your answer, he took the box from you and lifted your hair a bit to place the necklace around you. You held back a shiver when the cold material touched your skin.

When you felt the necklace lock, Miguel took a mirror from the vanity and placed it in front of you, making you see yourself.

"Aren't you stunning?" Miguel smiled as he watched the necklace glimmer.

"Y-yes."

"Now, what do we say?"

"Th-thank you."

Miguel smiled wider.

"Very good, you're learning more and more." He kissed your cheek while you fought back the urge to flinch away.

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Three months ago

"....And cut! You there! One more mistake im cutting you out of this role." Miguel shouted as people flinched from the volume of his voice and the actor mentioned huffed in annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever" He mumbled.

Miguel sighed, a headache soon to rise.

"Call a break, be back at twenty."

With that, everyone left to go to their own places to take a breather and relax for a bit. You did the same while double-checking your script.

You didn't know how many hours it has been, but the repetitive number of mistakes that your co-actor has been doing has really done an effect on you. You understand that actors alike make mistakes, but he keeps forgetting lines, forgetting actions, and sometimes won't listen to cues and signals.

When being called to audition this role, your heart soar with happiness and excitement. Working under Miguel O'Hara is no joke after all. He was strict yet creative with his movies. The number of awards and recognition he earned shows that.

The movie your acting is an action genre, which you had a bit of difficulty at first, especially with fighting choreography, but you're glad that the team was patient all together

Patience doesn't really last that long thought. You just hope that one co actor would get his bearings right since the movie is almost done and editing and finalizing will be left.

You didn't realize twenty minutes were done until one of the staff started calling everyone back.

Finally, your co actor has gotten it right, and the rest of the production went smooth.

Before you know it, the movie is released,watched, and you were invited to an awarding event.

Everyone was having the time of their life. You were sitting at your designated table along side with Miguel with his assistant.

Lyla is the best person you have ever met, funny with a brush of sarcasm. Although as bit pushy with personal questions and it's still nice to talk to someone light.

While you enjoy your glass of champagne, you watch as the speaker on stage makes their speech for the winning actress of the year award.

"...And for this year award, we would like to dedicate this to none other than Y/N L/N!"

Your eyes widen as cheers and applause erupted from the crowd.

You stood up adjusting your dress a bit and shaking the hand of Miguel as you pass by.

You got up the stage and retrieved your award, made your thank you speech, and bowed.

You guess that after all those cracked backs and sleepless nights of acting, It was all worth it in the end.

----

It was finally time to relax.

People who have worked in the movie have been invited to Miguel's mansion for a nice and soft after-awards celebration and you were invited.

Miguel has won yet again another award for directing another hit.

The invitation was relayed to you by Lyla, and you have been told it would still be held around eleven pm-ish so people would have time to change into a more comfortable clothing and such.

You thanked Lyla for the message and decided to head home to change out of your dress.

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

"Hey, pal!" Lyla greeted you as she opened the door to the mansion.

"Hey Lyla! Sorry if I got a bit late."

"No worries! Your the first one to arrive."

Lyla stepped aside so you could step in. You thanked her as you entered.

You have never been inside Miguel's domain, and to say your shock was an understatement.

His style is more contemporary with a touch of art deco for a bit of colour.

You were mesmerised with the sparkling chandelier, a huge flat tv screen by the wall, and a fireplace under it.

The walls had linings of gold and white, and some renaissance paintings were plastered here and there to give the space more life.

"Impressed? I swear it could use some plants, but Miguel's too edgy for that." Lyla chimed in behind you, and you held in a chuckle since she isn't wrong.

"Why don't you sit by the fireplace while I fetch Miguel?" she suggests as she leads you further into the living room and sits down, relishing the warm heat of the fire.

Lyla smiles at your relaxed state and headed upstairs where you guess Miguel was.

While you wait, you stare by the fire, and you're surprised you got here first. It's not like you're a tardy person, but by now, you expected at least three or four people here already. Then your thoughts drive to Miguel.

Stunning and successfull is all you could say.

You worked under different directors, yet he stood out for some reason. Maybe the way he leads the group with an iron fist or just the way he acts around you.

Your thoughts were cut off by a voice behind you.

"Y/N, nice to see you accepted my invitation. Sorry if I wasn't there to greet you." Miguel greeted as he approaches you, Lyla no where to be seen.

"Mr. O'Hara, Thank you for inviting me." You stood up from your place and gave him a handshake.

"Please, call me Miguel. We're relaxing as of now, why not enjoy it." Miguel shook your hand back, you held back a wince from his grip.

"Why don't we get started with the champagne, while we wait for the others hm?" Miguel suggests and you accepted.

----

"... And then, I slammed my headphones on the floor, and it broke."

You and Miguel laughed at his statement.

Both of you were drunk without a care in the world. The other guests never came but none of you could care.

Especially you.

You hiccuped a laugh as you try stabilizing yourself on the couch. Your body feels warm due to the champagne and the fireplace. Two bottles of empty champagne are placed on the coffee table in front of you.

You swear you wouldn't drink much, especially in front of your director, not wanting to look unprofessional, but it seems like both of you got lost in stories and laughter.

"Bet *hic* Lyla talked your ass off for it."

"Oh, you bet." He chuckled, remembering Lyla scolding him as if he was a child who broke a vase.

You laughed again. At this point, you don't know what for. Your head feels light and dizzy, and your vision is wobbly.

Miguel seemed to notice your state and tried to hide his smile. For some, you notice he barely looked drunk, kinda put shames into your "high-tolerance." But your mind wanders, and the more you do, the more you felt like to a deep need to sleep.

"It looks like you enjoyed the champangne too much." Miguel mused, small smile grew on his face.

Some hint of clarity went into you.

"O-oh, my apologies, I-um probably drank your stock." You apologized as he chuckles.

"Nonsense bebita, got more than you could count." He stares into your dazed state and continues. "You know what? I'll call Lyla, you seemed to need help after all those glasses hm?"

"O-oh *hic* Dun't wanna tr-trouble you, sir. I'll uh go *hic* go home. " you said as you put down your half empty glass on the coffee table and held onto the couch, stood up albiet wobbly.

Miguel stood up quickly, but you were to drunk to notice anything.

Next thing you know, you collapsed. The floor or his arms? You don't know.

-----

".... And make sure the windows are locked."

"Aye aye cap'n"

Your head hurts, your body feels heavy, and your eyes sting from the light from the windows.

The only things you do is realized a comfy and weighted blanket is placed on you and your on a bed you don't recognize.

Your ears could only hear the muffled voices of a man and woman behind the door.

Your eyes roam where it could, and you notice you're in a fancy looking bedroom on a bed that's too big for one person. The windows have curtains on them, but they were opened, making you hiss from the light.

Your head is still dizzy, and you feel like you want to go back to sleep.

But your situation still needs focusing on.

Did you collapse from all that champagne?

Geez, did you sleep in the house of O'hara? god, you hope he isn't mad for needing to take care of your state.

Some sense are finally going back to you, and you decided to sit up with a groan, making the blanket slid of you.

You froze.

This isn't what you were wearing last night.

I mean, who wears a long, spaghetti strap, lacy white night gown to have a drink with your boss?

You panic. Were you still at Miguel's house?

Your questions were answered when the door opened.

There stood Miguel, his eyes automatically landing on you.

"Good. You're awake."

"S-sir?"

"Still calling me that? I thought I told you to call me Miguel?"

You ignored his words as you sat at the edge of the bed.

"I-uh...I...I don't know what happened sir but I apologize for intruding, Im-" You tried speaking, but your words are slurred, your body and mind still processing itself.

"Intruding? Nonsense." Miguel interuppts you, his eyes roam around the long night gown on you. "Seems like I made the right choice for your night gown." He said as he sits beside you on the bed.

You paused.

Was he the one who put this on you?

Signals blare around your head and you try to sit up.

"Si-sir... If I may, I really need to go." Your body finally listens to you as you stand up and try to head towards the door.

You flinched hard when you felt a strong grip on your wrist, stopping you on your tracks.

"What did I just say about calling me Miguel?" His eyes focused on you and you shivered. You really need to go away.

"Si-Miguel... Please, I really need to go."

You pleaded, but your words were ignored, and all Miguel did was pull you closer to him and further from the door.

Your body is now shooting signals left and right your dizziness long forgotten. You tried wriggling your hands out of his grip with all you could muster, Miguel didn't budge a bit and just pulled you into closer to him.

"Don't make this harder." With that he pulled you closer to him one more time before lifting you up and throwing you harshly on the bed.

Air was knocked out of your lungs no matter how soft the matress could be. Fear is going higher and higher in your body, and you're not hearing signals anymore. An entire warning siren rings in your head to get out of here as fast as you could.

What happened last night?

Did you offend him?

Why did he changed your clothes?

Where's your phone?

You didn't have much to think about when the next thing you know was lips roughly pushing agaist your own.

"Mmh!-"

First you got abducted now your forced to kiss your captor.

Your hands automatically tried to push him away by pushing against his chest, but it was futile. His own hands took your wrists away from his chest and pinned down on each side of your head.

He finally let go, and both of you panted from loss of breath.

"Let me g-!"

Your words once again stopped when he kissed you again. This time, it is less rough yet still demanding control.

"I said don't make this harder."

He said as one of his hands gathered both your wrists to be pinned above your head while the other one slid underneath your nightgown to bunch it up to your hips.

"No no nonono please...Miguel I beg you plea-"

"As much as I love you, I'd appreciate it if you shut up for once."

Your words choked up in your throat, following his orders unwillingly. You didn't even realize tears started streaming down your face, soaking the sheets underneath.

Miguel didn't seem to care.

Instead he smiled.

"Good. Atleast you know how to listen."

You tried gulping, but doing so made you choked up even more.

"Shh shh, just calm down."

Yeah...As if that's easy.

His other hand started tracing the lacy patters of your underwear, which you dreadfully realized that was changed too.

You tried wriggling your hips away from him, but that didn't deter him from ripping your underwear off of you.

You painfully yelp from force.

"Shh... Just relax and enjoy the ride hermosa."

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

One Month Later.

Life is getting bad and worse the more you spend your time here.

First, you learned Miguel has been planning this for so long since you got recruited to star in his movie. You don't know what that plan contains, but it must have been a really good one since no one is not even the government could find you.

Second, always as permission and opinions from either Lyla or Miguel. One time the both of them went out to attend a meeting. While they were gone, you decided to take a bath by yourself to get rid of the dirty proof you had with Miguel last night. Time must have passed while you were enjoying your alone time since Miguel burst into the bathroom with a deep scowl on his face.

Next thing you know, you were forced under the water of your bath. Water is going in your nose, and bubbles stinging your eyes. Miguel is ranting something, but you don't hear anything due to your fainting consciousness, but Miguel pulled you up before you could even faint and after a few seconds he dunked you again.

Another time was picking clothes. It was finally nighttime, and you wanted something thicker to wear. You saw a cardigan and decided to wear that while you have your usual long, silk night gown underneath.

Miguel came out of the bathroom and paused when he saw what your wearing.

"Dear... What's that? hm?"

You flinched when you heard his voice.

"O-oh umm... Just a cardigan, wanted to be a bit warmer to-today."

He stayed silent for a while until he slowly started approaching you.

You flinched again, Miguel can be unpredictable. Is he gonna shout?.

You don't have time to think when his hands suddenly grab your arm and pulled you into the balcony of your shared room.

"Migue-"

"Warm, huh? Let's see how warm you can be out here without me."

His voice is calm...Eerily calm. But you know better.

He roughly opened the windowed door to the balcony and roughly pushed you into it.

Before you could even think, you heard the door shut behind you and you froze.

Did... Did he just locked you out of here?

"Miguel! Miguel please! Im sorry!!"

You shouted as you banged against the balcony door. You couldn't see anything since Miguel seemed to slide the curtains shut.

After a few minutes, which felt like an hour to you already, you gave up on getting Miguel's attention.

You even thought of jumping off the balcony, but within that height, you're sure you would only end up trying to get up and run on broken bones. You're sure as hell you wouldn't even go that far.

You didn't know when you slept, but your eyes opened to the sun that's just started to rise and Miguel carrying you bridal style back to the bedroom.

You temperature down to yourself and your complexion lighter than usual, your lips and throat dry, your body feels numb, and your temperature surely isn't normal.

You couldn't speak, but Miguel didn't mind and kissed your forehead as he layed you down on the bed.

The warmth of Miguel's body and everything else sent shivers onto you.

Althought your body is reduced to nothing but a shivering piece of meat.

The next time you woke up again, you found every sweater and cardigan disappeared in your closet. With Lyla mocking your choice of clothing is boring anyway.

Finally, third.

Shut up and give what he has to give.

You swear your heart broke everytime you go back to that memory.

Miguel was quote on quote, "feeling generous" that day.

He had his schedule packed and he felt bad for leaving you, sometimes Lyla would accompany you but being his assistant she needs to attend her duties as one.

So he brought you a cat.

You don't remember what you named it but you surely remember you loved it.

Something to call your own.

Something that makes you happy.

You doted on it, fed it, pet it and played with it. It's purrs and meows help you forget the situation your in.

But Miguel is there to remind you.

Miguel noticed your attention is driven away from him to the cat.

That damn cat.

One time, he locked it in a separate room, so he could have his moment with you.

But you would turn away from him, always wondering where the cat is, and if he doesn't answer to your liking you wouldn't let him touch you, Although it doesn't always work, he's getting tired of your attitude.

Next thing you know, he made you sit down all tied up and watch as he beat the helpless cat into a pulp.

You cried as she roughly kicked it to the wall, again and again. You begged him to stop as you listened to the weak call for help of the cat started to dwindle into nothing.

Its eyes were swollen and body bloody and bruised.

Your eyes drifted to Lyla standing by the doorway, and you silently pleaded for her help but it was useless when all she did was sip some soda and watched the beating as if it's a natural occurence.

Your cried even harder when the cat stopped meowing and all you could see was a unmoving lifeless body of the cat you once cherished.

"Next time I see you acting that all lovey dovey to something useless, I'm beating you up next."

With that he untied you from the chair and you quickly scrambled to the floor to gently cradle the dead animal.

Miguel left you to your self.

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Two Months later

You don't know how you're still alive.

Your surprised your internal organs are still working.

Your heart beating.

Your lungs breathing.

Your brain thinking.

Thinking.

Thinking when can you get out.

Miguel practically live in the middle of nowhere, just like those mega-rich people who live in the vast grasslands surrounded by trees and sometimes mountains.

Can you actually get our from here?

Windows?

No.

Hidden cameras surround you more than the paparazzi ever did. They were sometimes annoying, but now you're starting to miss their flashing cameras instead of eerie blinking red dots hidden in drawers or mirrors.

Poisoning him?

No.

Lyla double checks everytime from the ingredients you use to the way you cook them.

Killing yourself?

Not even you have control over your own life anymore.

Miguel practically baby proofed the house for you.

So how...

Maybe never.

All you could do was stare out the window, thinking nothing.

Some drool would slip out of your lips but you didn't care.

You watch the same scenery from the window for the 1000th time. The unchanging grasshills, the migrating birds you would sometimes see and the setting sun and rising moon.

Miguel seemed to deem you unstable. You would cry randomly. You stopped turning away his affection but at what cost?

Maybe he would prefer that instead of you looking out in the middle of no where, thinking nothing.

Your crying outbursts would randomly start, at the shower, in the bed, in the kitchen. You name it.

So maybe going out of the house would help you.

You wordlessly took his hand as he lead you out of the house, watching your reaction or body language the whole time.

It seems he was right. Going outside does help.

Your eyes seem to brighten a fraction.

He didn't even realise he let out a sigh of relief when he watched your eyes look around the massive garden as if it's your first time seeing the color green.

You both roamed around, stopping once or thrice to admire a budding flower or a fluttering butterfly.

Miguel didn't really care for the garden since he didn't have time to roam around and admire what he had already seen for a thousand times already. So maybe it was a bit neglected, bushes are overgrowing and vines seems to spread out more.

He decided that once this little trip is over, he needs to hire a gardener to tend it a bit.

Aside from the view, his enjoying you.

Although he isn't sure which part.

The way your eyes light up more and more as you explored the garden and admiring the fountain.

Or.

The way you didn't let go of his hand the entire time. Maybe he did teach you well after all.

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Three months later

It seems like he saved your mental health from declining if he just lets you go out of the house once in a while.

You even learned how to respond to him.

You learned how to touch him.

To hold him.

To love him...

It was all he could ask for.

It took some time for the police to get off his back for the suspicion he has for kidnapping you (which isn't far from the truth)

He even had to make you hide in a secret room in his stupidly big mansion. You didn't know why you had to hide.

But atleast that got the police searching his house finally leave him be after several meetings and interoggations of him.

He finally can live in peace.

You became so good for him he decided to get you another cat.

This time you knew better and he loved you for it.

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

Months gone by, possibly years, but atleast your finally content-ish with your life.

Not happy but tolerable.

You stopped pushing away and just give into his so-called "love"

Although Miguel might not always be happy with your lack of emotions nowadays , at least he has you by his side then his contented.

Miguel, on the other hand, feels joyous, true he doesn't find your lacklustre attitude too nice, but it's also true he has you with him.

With politicians, accusations and the damn police out of his back, he can finally go back to loving you.

And he can finally drop the act.

●●●●●

A/N: Hope u enjoyed, with this, I will go on a hiatus for while, I am unsure when I can be back since life has been pretty busy. I will also postpone my lastedt series so am sorry for that.

I am still thankful for your endless support.

Have a nice day everyone, ty for understanding

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