#abt annoying her by talking abt it too much and she said tht it just affirmed what was festering inside me anyway and i was like 🙂

[baekhvuns]

I almost thought I forgot to send you an ask, dw abt the timing tho. it happens to me a lot 😭 I forget if I had done something and then i question it?

IKR HIS WHOLE PERSONALITY IRKS ME SO MUCH BUT THEN HIS FACE?? HIS FACEEEE!!! 😩😩 he's such a hypocrite honestly, and each time he makes a dumb fucking decision I want to punch him in the face so bad!! BUT THEN I RMR THT ONE CHAPTER WHERE NAVIER'S HAVING A FLASHBACK TO WHEN THEY WERE KIDS AND- 😭 I CANT-

Bcz...this just got too real? 🫣

NO STOP STOP ITTTT HWA TURNS INTO A PANTHER 😭😭😭 IM READY TO BE THE TARZAN!!

U GIVE ME THINGS TO GUSH OVER EVERY DAMN TIME! BCZ WDYM INTIMIDATING CEO X FAKE DATING AUS OH IM SO READY 😭

😒 don't even talk abt tht selfish piece of shit, I hate her. The audacity she has, like she literally just said "there's not a woman in the whole world that wouldn't sulk if his lover is spending time with another woman." 😃 miss girl YOU are the OTHER WOMAN! He is spending time with his WIFE! On her BIRTHDAY. Jail. I want to see her in jail. I'm glad Heinrey knows the kinda person she is, he and the empress are the only ones putting her in her place. Like it annoys me so damn much how she cries over every damn thing, idc whatever shit she went thru, it didn't give her any right to become a homewrecker. And soveishu is dumb enough. And navier?

....she's. Etheral. How to be her? How to hv a man like hers? How to be bold like her? How to BE NAVIER??

OMG GURL YES I READ IT 😭 I CANT BELIEVE SOVEISHU KISSED NAVIER'S NECK?!?!?!?! 😭 IM- IDK THT MAKES ME LIKE HIM MORE DESPITE HIS SHITTY ATTITUDE?? WHAT DO I DO 😭 but respectfully, he should fuck off....you lost the chance man. You lost her. No Bcz what does he want frm navier??? Does he think she has a heart of stone? As if she doesn't hv feelings??? He gets all riled up if she even talks with some other guy and look at him, going out with a strange girl he has no idea who tf she even is.

I'm telling you rashta is the downfall of the empire. Girl I'm telling ya, if I see a strange woman running to hug my man like tht..id throw hands idc what my status would be, I would THROW HANDS. (On both, my man, and the girl) Navier is so strong. BWAHAHAHAHA AND HIS GUTS TO SAY "IM A GOOD MAN" 😭🤚 STOPH- HES THE MOST DELULU PERSON EVER! Rashta is like that one annoying cousin. LIKE SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO WEAR THE SAME DRESS AS NAVIER?!?!? FASION POLICE- YOU GOTTA ARREST HER! BCZ THT IS PLAGIARISM 😭

WTF WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKK??? SHES PREGNANT 😭😭😭😭 (tbh I bet the emperor thinks, a baby is made if you hold hands) GURL IM GONNA FAINT FRM ALL THE DRAMA THAT UNFOLDS IN EVERY CHAPTER NOOOOOO NAVIER!! I WOULD HV CRIED I WOULD HV- I WOULD HV COLLAPSED AND STARTED TO WEEP SHES SO STRONG!! 😭😭

LESGOOO MY SHIP IS SAILING!! I WONDER WHEN THE DIVORCE EP WILL COME!! OH COME ON NOW IM FALLING FOR DUKE KAUFFMAN 🤧

NO WAY HE DRANK THE LOVE POTION AND DISTRACTED SOVEISHU 😭😭😭 IM DYING- :0 he punched him

I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm really gonna kill him I HATE HIM SO MUCH! NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS A CHARACTER MADE MY BLOOD BOIL THIS BAD!

Navier no...the potion has worn off, Duke Kaufmann likes you 😭

OHMYGOD KOSAIR IS HERE HES HERE AHHH SO PROTECTIVE 😭😭 NO I GET IT WHY U LIKE HIM! DOUBLE EMPRESS?!?! 😭 *Searches on Google:- how to be an empress?*

No way you fell asleep on the stairs...was it Bcz it was comfortable or you were just too tired to walk till your bed? 😭 (OMG I WROTE THIS THINKING YOU WROTE "I FELL ASLEEP ON THE STAIRS" AND I WAS LIKE ?!?! WHAT- I READ IT WRONG 😭😭 but this is so funny so I kept it in the ask, i cn be so silly sometimes)

NO WAY DROP THE NAME OF THE MOVIE! controversial? I'm questioning my tastes-

Ikr it's so wholesome and cute, the last episode ended on sung ho offering haebom to drink with him, man I'm totally up for everything that's coming next, Bcz haebom, is already in love and he might not realize it yet, Bcz the way he blushes EVERYTIME he sees sung ho. LIKE WHEN HE DROPPED HIM AT THE DAYCARE CENTRE HE THOUGHT "DID WE JUST LOOK LIKE A COUPLE RN??" NOW TELL ME THIS MF DOESN'T THINK ABT IT ALL THE TIME 😭😭 dw I'll update you once the new episode comes.

I don't wanna go to work tomorrow AND I DONT WANNA GO TO UNI I wanna fall in love with someone IM SO LOVESICK 🤧

LMFAOOOO 😭😭

RIGHT??? SOMETIMES I GENUINELY FEEL BAD FOR HIM BUT THHEN HE DOES SOMETHING AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD LIKE U DESERVE RASHTA ATP like he looks like hwa and it makes me feel bad but then he ABSOLUTELY DESERVES IT 😭

please stop. im in a public setting this picture to picture comparison is taking me out pls don’t let me do this bc i have this draft where the reader is an undercover empress and san’s a thief w heinry’s personality

LMFAOOOO NOT TARZAAN FBKWDHKW

A VERY INTIMIDATING CEO (YSL PERSONA) X HIS PRIV SECRETARY WHO WAS HIS JUNIOR IN UNI FBWMDJWKDJKW WRAPPED INTO FAKE DATING ANON DO NOT DO THIS RN

no srs as much of a goof heinry is he is quick to check someone like rashta or whoever disrespects navier like that,,,, rashta needs to go to jail esp for what she did to that maid???? gOD 😭😭😭 ITS ON SIGHT WITH HER AND THE WAY SHES COPYING NAVIERS STYLE AND HAIR ?????? CRYING honestly soveishu puts her in place sometimes and it makes me feel so good omg i just spoiled it for u

NAVIER IS THE PERSONA OF ELEGANCE !!! THE EMPRESS, ur asking the right questions bc when will fate put us under her fate 😭😭

NO SERIOUSLY AND HE MADE HER CRY LIKE ??? AND THEN ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM AGAIN AND BE THE MOTHER OF RASHTAS KID ???? BOY???? THATS NOT EVEN UR KID THQKDHWK NO LITERALLY PLAGIARISM WHERE U AT 🔫🔫🔫 DIVORCE EP WILL HAPPEN!!!!! HEINRY TREATS HER SO WELL GETS HER BLUSHING AND SHIT TOO 😭😭😭😭

duke kaufman is so 🥰☺️🥰 id be w him ngl very mingi coded

DUDE KOSAIR IS SO 😩😩😩 WHYS NAVIERS ENTIRE FAMILY SO PRETTY

NO LMFAOOO THIS IS SO CUTE FHWJD 😭😭😭 I FELL ON THE STAIRS LIKE GOING UP THE STAIRS did not fall asleep but i was transferring from my couch (where i slept on) to my room and i thought the platform of the stairs was there and i took a step and boom im collapsing <3 my eyes were closed yes bc i have this thing that if i open them while i transfer my sleep will vanish <3

omg ok it’s a 2006 bollywood movie w srk in it, it was extremely controversial bc of the concept but i think if it were released today it would’ve gotten a better reaction nonetheless

“DID WE JUST LOOK LIKE A COUPLE RN???” STOP IT. STOP IT. WEVE REACHED THE MOMENT OF REALIZATIONS !!!!!

manifesting a ceo who does ur taxes and handles everything for u <3

#✉️ : ask #[ chaerssss ]

[legobatjoker]

OKAY !! oaky im gonna send like. seperate asks abt diff stuff tht happened at the mall nd in my day j bc i feel like if i just went thru the whole day thered b stuff i wanna talk abt more tht i wld talk abt as much and also feel like ihave to tell u abt all the boring stuff in the day too when i do tht so GHGDF but what i will say rn is it was v fun but also kinda stressy for me j bc like. okay basically we went w my cousins (the one from pakistan. but the one from dabi also went with us. okay this is gonna get confusing im gonna start calling the cousin from dubai cousin 2 and the cousin from pakistan cousin 2 now to make it less so DHDFHFD) parents (nd her little brother who is very cute but also kinda has an attitude w everyone ? or maybe j us bc we were annoying him HDFHDF) nd like cosuins 2's parents+ little brother went on their own nd me my sibling nd our cosuins went of together and bc im the eldest nd like they prob wldnt b considered old enough to go on their own w out me i was responisble 4 them (esp for cousin 2 i think both bc i was being intrusted by her mother/my aunt to be rsponsible for everyone nd bc shes 11 so shes the youngest of all fo us) nd even though iv gone off w my sibling when shopping before it was kinda stressy j bc it was more ppl to keep an eye on nd stuff but it was still rly fun to all hang out together nd stuff nd it wasnt tht stressfull yk i j wanted to make sure everyone was safe nd stuff nd they were so it was fine thankfully !! nd also i had to pay for all my siblings stuff bc they had already spent all their poket money which iwas fine w tbh bc i never rly spend my pocket money or any money im gifted so i have a lot saved and i love them so it was fine :] also they werent super annoying abt it if i said no to buying them anytyhing thankfully DFHDFHDF

OKAY YAH THAT SOUNDS P GOOD OVERALL im sorry it was stressy bcuz of eldest sibling pressure but im glad it was fun to hang out and stuff!!! :]] also its v sweet of u to be so chill ab giving ur sibling money for stuff .also v good that they werent annoying ab it bcuz that wldve been like. rlly rlly annoying i feel HSBSJSJS

#mewtuals #castle.answers

[banglatown]

.

#i’m literally having such an awful day … like so awful #like i forgot to take my hayfever meds so i woke up too early even tho today is LITERALLY a sunday and i was supposed to have a lie in #and whilst i was praying namaaz i got rly emotional bc i started having intrusive thoughts abt all the times ppl i love have hurt me #and like i’m just so sad #and like i’m lovestruck over this dense boy who doesn’t even deserve me and i keep annoying my best friend by talking abt him but like i #literally don’t know who else to tell 😭 like … it makes me so fucking sad tht the one person i’ve felt so spiritually so akin to is such a 🔨 #like it hurts so bad #and like yday whilst we were talking she said tht ‘ur brain takes shit to an obsessive lvl’ and even tho now i realise tht she meant THE #brain and not mine in particular … it still rly fucking hurt my feelings bc like i’m just pining and it hurt .. bc like i’ve been so scared #abt annoying her by talking abt it too much and she said tht it just affirmed what was festering inside me anyway and i was like 🙂 #and like JUST now i made myself ramen to have and i brought it up to my room AND SPILLED IT EVERYWHERE 😭😭😭 #it got all over my desk and i had to clean it up and the smell is everywhere #and UGHHHHHH #i’m just so fucking sad #i just want to escape .. i can’t do this anymore #my mental state has been rly shit recently and i just want to disappear #beebs.txt

[reversecreek]

✵ zloane , bravier , nyla and sean

ZIGGY & SLOANE

their first impression of your muse:

sexy. tugged on her hair literally the first time he saw her hadn’t even had a conversation bt was just like target? located. going? ✈️ annoy her. probably initially just thought she was only at the skate park bc sean was n was like 🙄 then she cld actually skate n he was like 😏 liked that she gave him shit. found it funny pushing her buttons. liked her eyes. probably was like wtf is in the fuckin water in this town yo why all my friends got hot sisters that shit aint right tryna make me a dog....... not that he was even. phased by betraying those boundaries bt. still. i won’t lie his main first impression was probably jst damn bit hot when she glares at me like that. KJHFSGKSJHGKGHSFKGH

current impression:  

knows her a little more than he likes to know people. favourite person to argue w. can possibly skate better than him bt if she said so he’d be like “ur off ur fuckin tits man” n then practice secretly on his own for hours that night n get 9457295 scrapes. doesn’t like talking abt her dad like him so one time he put a firework in his mailbox n never admitted it was him. has reactions to youtube videos tht make him snort. quite funny in general rly. drinks a lot not that he can judge it’s just sometimes he notices n once he even snatched her cup n drank the rest so she couldn’t. played it off as their typical fuckery bt he isn’t sure what that feeling was. hasn’t been concerned often enough to know it by name. finds her hot at inappropriate moments like when a movie chara’s dying n he’s meant to be sad. finds her hot when she pisses him off too. thinks mayb she likes the excuse to hold onto him when she rides on his vespa but he kind of likes it too so he’s not about to call it out bc “he isn’t about that deep shit”. 

are they attracted to your muse?:  

KFJHGKJGHFGKFHSGKSHGKSFGH. imagine i was jst like no <3... yes. he likes to act like he’s less so than he is bt it’s obvious.

something they find frightening about your muse:

i wouldn’t say it frightens him bt sometimes he catches her looking at him a certain way n it unsettles him but he doesn’t know why. usually just pretends he didn’t catch it.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

he likes her short hair he’s always ruffling it n tugging on it. whenever she hs bumps n scrapes n bruises from falling off her board n getting back on over n over again jst never giving up or giving a fk. when she acts like she isn’t jealous.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

umm. no. he’s an asshole. KGJSHFKGHSKFHGSKFGHKGH. sighs.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

no..... sees that as dangerous territory wouldn’t wna blur the lines. looks away.

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

baddie. FKGJHSKGHFGSFHGSKGHSFKHG. demonic (when they’ve had a fight). 

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. he loves to argue w her but it never feels that Real u know... more like flirting. even when they’re rly pissed off. wld never enter that territory he hates shit like tht w a passion. cue round of applause from the audience for this absolutely low bar.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

i feel like they’re not rly huggy people...... ziggy probably puts his arm around her a lot tho he loves doing that. hs kissed her more times than he can count too n doesn’t plan on stopping

BRADLEY & XAVIER

their first impression of your muse:

funny. mean in a more digestible way than she was used to. he had barbs n she liked the way people winced when they tried to swallow his company. when she got paired w him for a class project she met his eyes across the room n he didn’t quickly look away like most ppl. something abt that intrigued her. a sharp fingernail inside her head kept having to itch at something n she realised it was the urge for him to call her a bad name. this weird craving to hear an angry word inside his mouth just for her. she used to think that’s what someone wanting her was like. still does sometimes. this both pissed her off n caught her attention which is a bit of an accomplishment fr someone who gets bored by everyone n everything.

current impression:  

his heart’s more good than she expected. it felt a bit like having a cat drop a dead mouse at ur doorstep that u don’t know what to do with when she realised that. she felt uncomfortably like her mother when she couldn’t get out of his bed bc she was too depressed n that rly made her feel like. ill honestly. he did all the right things but suddenly she just felt sick abt the whole situation which is Not the normal reaction to ur bf caring about u but bradley doesn’t understand ppl caring abt her. felt more like pity. she thinks he’s better off. she misses him sometimes bt then she reminds herself she doesn’t miss people. does a good job of believing it. one of the best ppl she’s dated not that she’d say it.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

yes..... ws probably. unhinged n rabid when they were dating. very good at hiding it now however. cold at the drop of a hat.

something they find frightening about your muse:

that he witnessed her being vulnerable............ literally grosses her out so much like she’d rather die than. anyone see her like that. when they were dating she’d get paranoid her dad wld somehow find out too n smthn wld happen to him for it. it ws definitely weird for her like the fact she even cared enough to consider tht.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

adorable is rly not a word that fits into bradley’s vocabulary GHSFGHSFKGHSFKG bt hm. maybe if he ever tried to tell her what to do one time even casually. she’d b like awww..... u think i do what anyone tells me? that’s so fucking sweet. 

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

in most cases no :/..... however if it was smthn to do w the guys that work for her dad then ya she’d put herself in danger to avoid him being in it.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

i mean she has in the past bt bradley’s idea of dates is like. starting a bar fight together. getting thrown out of a club n both falling over into trash cans in a dingy back alley. stealing a car. breaking into a random house n fking in a stranger’s bed. fking in the bk of a movie theatre w a horror movie screening. definitely not dinner or anything like tht. she wldn’t now........ they’re not exactly in a place fr that..... 

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

ex. whatever. i know it’s not one word but “some guy”. FGHSKGHFGKSHG >_>

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. she’s a violent person bt not xavier.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

NO hugging...................... she fronts like she wldn’t kiss him bt like. if a discussion got heated n they were in each other’s faces who’s to say. 

NYLA & SEAN

their first impression of your muse:

strange little fella which is a very high compliment. kind of reminded them of an animated turtle come to life in the human realm altho they honestly don’t have an explanation for that it’s just the way their brain works. they love the turtles in finding nemo tho so maybe there’s some sort of correlation. very nice face. they kind of wanted to hold his head like a bowling ball just so they could examine it properly. i feel like when they first met him they probably reached out n smoothed a sticky label onto his forehead that said ‘catfish in chernobyl’ n they had one on their forehead that was blank n then they just wafted a pen mid air n were like ‘wanna play guesses?’ even tho that isn’t the name of the game. as if that was just. a completely normal introduction to someone. FGKHSKHGSFKGHSFKG. feel like sean wld have rolled w that tho so nyla was like :P i like.... if they played another round they’d give sean another sticky label that said ‘the loneliest whale in the world’ n then it’d start a whole conversation abt how nyla thinks they can speak whaleish. (whale spin on elvish). 

current impression:  

sean makes them think of that artificial blue raspberry flavour some popsicles have n how it’s always rly fun when they stain ur tongue. sweet n exuberant n leaves a bright impression. he lets them ride on his skateboard sometimes rolling along being lead by them holding his hand n nyla likes to shut their eyes like they’re a bird sailing above the clouds. one of their favourite things to do especially when the sun’s out. bc of this nyla thinks sean was a bird in his past life but not a greedy one like a seagull or a plain one like a pigeon. maybe a bluebird bc of his eyes. he makes them laugh a lot. they entrusted him to babysit their children (as pictured) in his hair for a whole day and night once n they had lots of fun with him so nyla thinks he’s very trustworthy and kind. he also is rly easy to talk to like they cld randomly be like “i’ve been thinking lately that maybe homer simpson could’ve been a good figure skater” n sean wldn’t look at them like they’ve lost their marbles he’d just go w it. they like his company a lot.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

😏

something they find frightening about your muse:

ummm nothing in particular altho one time when they were rly tripping out bc his eyes are blue n it got them thinking abt the ocean n they always think they can talk to ghosts underwater so they were kind of like. thinking abt ghosts whenever they looked him in the eyes. maybe covered their own w their hands n if sean asked why they told him abt it. suddenly he shut his eyes to make them feel better n it turned into a whole thing where nyla had to lead him around the party like a guide dog.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

his nose. watching him talk to his siblings. his hands.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

😌 yea

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

yes............ feel like they’d have fun if they went anywhere tbh........ cn imagine them at a fair eating from the same cotton candy n chattering as they point out things. nyla trying to do that hammer game where u make the meter reach the top n lifting the hammer in the air n falling backwards bc it was heavier than they anticipated.... sean yelling like man down man down..... mayb they take a tab n suddenly the fair is so scary they’re like 😳 we’re in danger...

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

silly (affectionate). sailor (also term of endearment). gnome (same thing again). cool.

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no ur sick....

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

ya to both. jst suddenly had a vision too of nyla being cold one time n clinging to sean from the front like a bushbaby in a hug as he carries her around. suddenly this mode of transportation hs happened more thn once (godmod) (contact my lawyers if u dare bebe) (bitch) (i take it back) (it wasn’t right alli it jst wasn’t right) (pelase forigev m eim shakign)

#juvinile #ziggy | sloane #bradley | xavier #nyla | sean #drugs tw #abuse tw #mayb implied fr some briefly mentioned aspects of bradley's mindset #this was such a bertha bt i did it as special treat for allison my beloved.....

[transrightsjimin]

im sorry im not rly in the BE hype atm :((

rant coming which has nothing to do w the album but everything w stress nd fatigue nd crying nd more job stress nd sensory overload and me turning everything into a worse issue in my head etc etc

i was this morning when i saw the mv nd watched the vlive but i obv slept way too few bc i went to bed late nd woke up early for the live and i had to rush a lot w errands nd an appointment w my autism coach nd at said appointment we called a dude from the municipality to inquire abt jobcoaches nd it turned out we misunderstood what jobcoaches are as they are who u get referred to when u have a job, nd the guy found it hard to figure out what type of trajectory(?) would best fit me for help nd now i have time to think abt it and will speak him again in 2 weeks or sooner if i want to. im just so tired nd a bit hungry and on edge and one sec, im in the side of the house tht faces kids playing around aka screeching as if theyre dying every second nd its majking me only more on edge!!!!

but urgh i cried so bad during the appointment and was prob way too rudde to her before the appointment, bc she talks loudly nd sounds rude nd confronting but just naturally bc ofher tone nd language nd urghgh h thikning abt jobs nd trying to talk nd not cry too hard when trying to explain stuff to the man over the phone was rly hard, like obv its fine if he knows im crying but its just hard to talk when crying nd im just so devastated thinking abt jobs!! i dont know what type of job i could handle nd it feels like im making everythig up bc i did somehow finish two studies in uni and im privileged enough w education and whiteness tobe more easily selected for a job by e.g. last name on my cv and i shouldnt be this picky but god i cant handle smth as physically demanding and underpaid as this, im tired 4/7 days that im not working nd what i earn in those 3 days is still not enough to cover rent bc they pay only for the delivery time itself instead of more hours!!! it just feels like wtf am i doing bc the municipality guy did admit im not the usual person he works w bc i had an education, as if i dont belong in the group but its really just an issue of having -100 confidence and no job experience!! like i rly dont strive for a fancy job or ‘’’career’’’, i just bneed something that i can pay my monthly expenses w and have a bit left to save up for e.g. emergencies, additional medical bills (like the 350 euros from the adhd diagnosis and therapy, which my autism coach will contact my adhd therapist abt, like if that bill can be delayed or split up in a payment plan), paying back for loan debt eventually and MAYBE soon god forbid i save up for smth fun. and i “need” the job also to have a daily activity and some structure in my life bc a large part of the reason my schedule is so fucked up is bc i have no more set time tht i need to be anywhere or any strictness or reason to get up nd so i just dont ghhh

im always looking for reasons why i cant do smth and why smth would go wrong and im already looking at every area where getting help w getting a job can go wrong like e.g. me being too stubborn abt companies i dont agree w or me thinking i cant do anything just bc i have not much working experience outside of mail delivery :(

nd then there was this A B C task list system my adhd therapist proposed in wihc i keep track of my most to least urgent + important tasks every day nd we werent sure where to keep track of that kind of list and she suggested sticking a paper to a wall (i think id rather use my wardrobe) to write it on and change or replace that every day and it sounds like a hassle but i rly need to do it every day, nd i can try other methods but thatd be either writing it on my phone but im not always on there nd theres not a type of file i can make that doesnt move back chronologically as i make new notes

ALSO im just very frustrated w myself bc my mom wanted to come over w food and i know she was too sudden w it but if only i left on time for the stores it wouldnt have been an issue. i feel like shes rly sad she couldnt come visit. fucking hell i rushed so much back and forth from the stores that i forgot to put the leftover letters from work yesterday into the outdoor mailbox and i already stress abt this bc my current teamcoach (aka manager) is more stricter w this stuff nd recently asked for a statement / explanation by me on why there were 29 letters w/o sticker from a route i did  counted from the collected mail that were in outdoor mailboxes, and i did not do that but my only alibi / reason for not making that huge mistake was that i hadnt posted any mail yet that day and obv he wasnt happy w that. i sometimes had dreams / nightmares recently where i was late again or fucked up w a new route and got fired for it and thats quite an awful scenario / fear to me bc thats exactly why my dad was fired by his previous employee, for being late too often nd we’re the exact same. it just sucks bc i know many ppl who worry abt being late arrive to early at shit bc lol anxiety but i still arrive late every day WHILE being stressed abt it nd my whole fucking issue is that i need to break w bad patterns MYSELF, like whether i get help for autism stuff or adhd or sleep or whatnot, the homework / assignments / tasks / advice they give me, in the end i still need to be the one to do it and push through and make a change or put more effort into not going continuously back to the same distractions or demotivating black-white thinking

just URGH im so easily annoyed nd sensitive, also as in sensitive on a tactile level nd it doesnt help tht my room is a mess nd im super stinky from bts BE excitement and from squeezing my skin a lot last night, nor does the fact that i have rly bad coordination / awareness of my surroundings nd continuously bumping into shit or getting caught on smth help, which is also another reason im just so slow at work bc if i try to walk or deliver mail faster i keep end up bruising nd tripping or tear my hands on all these hard to move or sharp mail box slots if im not careful nd slower, which does still happen but not as bad when im careful

im also rly dizzy rn from haing slept too few and just urgh i “need“ a stupid fucking job, i need the money i need the structure but my god does actual labour and having to deal w colleagues every day and trying to keep up w stuff and be fast and precise enough in whatever the job is, sound horrifying hhhgghgh

OK RANT OVER IM SICK OF ME TALKING SO MUCH

#rambles #i dont even feel like explainig any of this stuff more if it was unclear #bc trying to re-tell what ppl from bureaucracies told me and each nd every thing explained is so complex

[jewpacabruhs]

Hi I read your recent post about Liane but I have a question about your post. You said abusers don’t deserve sympathy, even if they were abused themselves....but didn’t Cartman abuse Heidi and multiple others? Why should he be forgiven but not other abusers?

context bruh. i was talking about sexual abuse (csa in particular). that sort of abuse and emotional abuse are wildly wildly different - emotional abuse can be just as damaging, but i don’t think cartman’s actions have impacted anyone severely or ruined any lives (except maybe that therapist who’s wife killed herself, and the shit-eating nanny from tsst ssfdjfkhsd i shouldnt keysmash abt tht but it was played for shock value slash laughs so) - whereas the abuse cartman’s endured has shaped him into the person he is, and will forever impact the way he goes about relationships. 

although actually, i take that back a lil; i think butters has been severely affected by the way cartman’s treated him. all the kids treat him bad, but cartman saw vulnerability and singled him out, which is reminiscent of abuse… but it’s, dare i say, hardly consistent enough to be? i think emotional abuse takes emotional investment, and they’re too young for that. like, i don’t wanna try to say abuse has to fall into a certain box, but… actually, yanno what, i retract that. i’m pulling that out of my ass. in this specific situation, yes, i think cartman’s abused butters. i can’t justify it or defend him. cartman’s consistently cruel to him, butters is consistently hurt by cartman’s behavior, there’s a stark power imbalance; yes, that is abuse. so he should be held accountable for that. but even then i think the primary culprits in who’s fucking butters up most are his parents. his classmates made him feel alienated, unliked, and unwanted, and cartman’s made him feel like a useless door mat, and that’s an awful awful traumatic feeling, too - especially paired with a bad home life. but his parents are the ones doing more severe psychological harm, in my opinion.

butters’ arc is actually reminiscent of cartman’s; naive kid is neglected/abused at home, then picked on for something petty at school, possibly singled out by another child (and then,,, becoming infatuated with that child, holy shit), to the point of taking on an antagonistic stance against the world & becoming hostile, even pushing people away for fear of being hurt, or, in cartman’s case, annoyed or burdened by their needs and wants. (it’s also noticeable that everyone treated cartman bad, but especially kyle, until he became the cartman we know now, and now everyone treats butters bad, but especially cartman, and now he’s become this form of butters. it’s a cycle… always is.) and people hate both cartman and butters for their behavior, and it’s fine to dislike a character, but taking their trauma into account while criticizing them is essential. it’s crazy - that cycle’s already starting among these children, yanno? cartman got broke, then helped start to break butters, and g-d knows what butters could do next. abuse and all the lives it affects is fucked up man, sp removed.

anyway. but heidi? we haven’t seen too much of her, but i think she kept her base personality. she’s not jaded. in fic you could write her as being more seriously affected, but in canon, next to other canon abuse victims, she’s not showing symptoms and there’s no focus on it. that doesn’t invalidate her experiences, but i just,,, don’t think it’s on par. same with kyle, who i’ll reaffirm a hundred times over isn’t abused by cartman; they have a mutually toxic relationship that kyle actually instigated in the early seasons, and none of cartman’s behavior towards kyle is traditional abuse. an unhealthy obsession, sure, and there’s some codependency too, but i don’t think it’s wearing down at kyle’s perceptions, impacting his self esteem, or changing his personality for the worst. in my opinion, the worst thing cartman’s done to kyle is push him to question judaism and be ashamed of that aspect of his identity, but kyle’s done the same thing, by attacking cartman’s weight, intelligence, and his mom’s profession. those things aren’t the same as being teased for being jewish, but cartman looked for an easy target - kyle’s identity and his mom, which are both things he’s extremely defensive of and invested in. it was, frankly, retaliation, and now they’re stuck in an unhealthy loop, but it’s still not abuse. though kyle (and to a lesser extent, stan) in early seasons absolutely abused cartman, and no one holds kyle accountable for that. 

tldr, there’s a stark difference between liane’s grown ass enabling the sexual abuse and exploitation of her child, and that abused child (who’s ten years old) lashing out emotionally towards his friends because he doesn’t know any better, wants to make others suffer like he has, and doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. cartman could easily turn into an abusive monster, but he has time to change (in fanon, of course), with professional help. but liane’s already fucked him up, she squashed his potential and set him on a bad path, and thus, cartman’s actions are her fault, 100%. dang ol,,,, blood on her hands, man.

#anon #abuse tw #csa tw #answered #meta

[upsetokaiba]

i beat kh3 and oh boy do i both love it and am kinda just :/ towards some of it

thoughts under the cut (and its gonna have spoilers so pls dont look if u avoiding them)

first, my gripes:

the story is fukin wild, which i expected from kh3 dont get me wrong, but u can rlly tell what parts nomura was just like “what do i do with this”. KAIRI AND NAMINE IN FUCKING GENERAL are the biggest damn example of this. i already dont like how theyre written in kh, but my god nomura had a chance to fix it and he didnt, its now objectively a lil worse. kairi is reduced to a damsel in distress AGAIN after showing some potential of improving that with her training with lea/axel, which rlly fuckin stings. shes in ONE on screen battle actually fighting, the other battle she’s in? doesnt fight, sits on the sidelines protecting a knocked out axel and then getting whooshed away. she’s always been the implied love interest for sora, and nomura rlly just reduces her to tht in the end on top of the damsel in distress. namine is in the game, but its p much a blink and ull miss it. the most interaction she has with someone is with sora in the final world as a star. the next time shes shown is being waking up and being whisked away by riku n then playing on destiny islands. she had no plot relevance and she also doesnt have a reunion with her friends like everyone else got, which is p sad to me. these girls deserve better smh.

the gimmicks in some worlds are p meh, the one i hated at first was the ship battles in the carribean, but it grew on me during my trophy hunting. the hundred acre wood mini games are so boring and forgettable, and i would argue that the world is too. u literally pop in, help them gather food, then pop out after reassuring pooh tht sora will always be in his heart. they dont explain why their bond got weaker at all. 

the ultima weapon in this is stupid to get bc its locked behind annoying minigames for most of those orichalcum+ materials. theres also one locked behind a long gummi ship boss battle so that sounds horrible and im not looking forward to it lol

i played on proud and i found it isnt really....difficult. aside from me not using block bc i always wanna be hitting things, it was fairly easy to beat. its a shame really.

let me play as the other keybladers other than sora aqua and riku thanks

enough with my gripes, now for what i love about it:

I KNOW I WAS SUPER CRITICAL ABT NOMURA’S WRITING IN THIS ONE BUT I STILL LOVE IT. EVERYONE REUNITES WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABT THT IT MAKES ME TEARFUL!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND AQUA IS BACK AND HER HAPPY FAMILY IS (mostly) WHOLE AGAIN!! THE SEA SALT TRIO LIVES AGAIN!!!! ISA AND THE TWILIGHT TOWN GANG JOIN IN ON IT!!!! I CRY!!!!!! THEYRE ALL BACK AND IM SO HAPPYYYYYY

the music in the game is just so SO SOOOO GOOD. yoko shimomura did another excellent job with the themes and the arrangments, her music just makes me so emotional ;;;;;;

i rlly wish i was kidding when i said i was up at 4am crying bc of the ending. the implications it has left me with an immense sadness and the whole thing was bittersweet, so im glad the secret movie might be implying that theres much more after this. nomura u put him back now or i swear to god ill find u and cRY REALLY LOUDLY UNTIL U DO

NEW OUTFITS!!! xion’s new outfit is my fave its so cute

the game is rlly pretty, like holy shit. it runs fairly smoothly for looking like it does, i only rlly got frame drops in the carribean air boss. the nice models for pre rendered cutscenes look so cute

NEW UTADA HIKARU MUSIC, the orchestra version of dont think twice is so pretty, cant wait to hear it during the world of tres concert in june

the worlds were pretty enjoyable,  i adored the toy story monsters inc and san fransokyo worlds so much. the trio were rlly cute in the carribean too even if tht world was rlly meh to me. all these disney characters having no clue what any of the darkness villains are talking abt keeps me young. the way sully and mike deal with vanitas is hilarious, the way sora and co are just kinda THERE during elsa’s let it go song, hiro please i beg of you let me have a baymax PLEASE

riku’s reaction to mickey saying aqua was like sora is hilarious as well

the combat feels so GOOD, the keyblade switching is so fun, and how magic works in this game is soooo good and apparently broken lol

THEY GAVE SORA A PHONE. THEY TOLD HIM COMPUTER STUFF AND THE POOR BOY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. “I don’t computer.” -Sora 2019

there is so much snark and im absolutely loving it

axel looks so good in this game, i have never been an axel lover as much as i am after playing kh3, i am now a newly inducted axellover69

im glad this wasnt the end for kingdom hearts, bc while yes its been a while, kingdom hearts is one of my favorite series, and i couldnt imagine it stopping with 3 even when 3 was announced. I know itll end one day, but im glad today isnt that day.

im sure i missed a bit but all in all, even with its flaws, i love kh3

#mochii talks #hi if this shows up in tags im sorry this has complaints in it along side what i loved #i love kh3 very much but yea its got some issues i wanna talk abt #this rlly turned out to be much more text heavy than i wanted it to be lol #kh3 spoilers / 654651

[jooheonies]

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

#shwhyuk #ask game #HHHHH THIS IS SO LONG.... #I LOVE U...BABEY...

[bulletproofcarats]

The policeman and the drunk

Requested by @mymisstina

JungkookxReader

Fluff, slight angst

He’s been your best friend for seven years. But you’ve never had the courage to confess to him.

“Can you please listen to me for once and take care of yourself?”

You rolled your eyes as you leaned against the wall, near the door to your apartment.

“Look at how you almost got robbed just now!” He gestured angrily. “If I wasn’t on patrol, you might have been in danger!”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend to take care of, Jungkook?”

“I’m on night patrol tonight. And don’t bring Eunhua into this.”

“Well, you do have to take care of her. And I have a social life to take care of.” So go away and continue your job as a wonderful policeman. Thanks.” you unlocked the door and slammed it in his face.

Sighing, you pulled your hair from its ponytail as you sat down on the sofa.

It was two a.m. in the morning, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt that Jungkook was only probably angry at you because you were his best friend.

-

“Why on earth were you involved this time?”

“Uh, because I tackled the snatch thief to the ground?” You said as Jungkook typed away furiously, taking down your statement.

“Y/N, what if he had been holding a knife?” You ran a hand through your hair.

“I’m a black belt Jungkook, just like you. I’m not the little girl you knew as a kid anymore.” You stopped short as his phone buzzed.

Jungkook picked up the phone. “Hello Eunhua? Yeah I’m still at work. Y/N got called in for a case, I’ll see you for dinner tonight?”

There was silence for a few seconds before Jungkook shook his head, “No, its nothing like that! Okay, see you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “She thinks you’re two timing her?”

He turned back to you. “Its nothing. I know you aren’t a little girl anymore, Y/N, just, be more careful for your own safety okay? I don’t want to lose you just because you were busy living as your reckless self.

You gave him a soft smile. “Okay Jungkook.”

-

You leaned against the pillar during lunch, eating your apple as you watched the younger students play in the field.

Jungkook had been asked out by Mina to the school dance.

You were supposed to be happy for your best friend. He was after all, finally dateless for the dance.

Still, you weren’t too pleased about it, considering the fact that you had wanted to make a move, but Mina had beat you to it. The girl was blameless really, she didn’t even know you, but you were unhappy.

You were taken by surprise when a Frisbee came flying towards you, but you were yanked aside by someone and it barely missed your head.

“Whoa Y/N, careful.” You turned to see Jungkook looking at you in concern.

“Oh Jungkook, weren’t you with Mina? She asked you out after all.”

“I declined.”

You looked at him in shock. “You what? Why?”

Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t like her that way. I didn’t want to give her false hope.”

You missed the long look that he gave you as you picked up the frisbee and threw it back to the field with a small jump.

-

You were shocked when Eunhua snapped at you outside the door of the bathroom at Jungkook’s house.

It had been a social gathering, and you two had been in the same place at the same time.

“Back off from Jungkook, okay?” She glared at you.

“Eunhua, what do you mean? He’s my best friend.”

“Please,” she scoffed. “I know you want to be his girlfriend.” She gave you a contemptuous look. “But then again, you don’t have what it takes. Ungirly? Too rough as well. He’s too good for you.”

You struggled to hold back your tears as you looked at Eunhua. She was kind of right. Her hair was done up in a perfect bun while yours was in a messy ponytail. She wore a shiny black dress while you wore a simple blue one with white flats.

Jungkook didn’t need someone as simple as you. Your best friend since childhood didn’t need a blemish like you.

You blinked away the tears as Jungkook appeared beside the both of you.

“Hi. Uh what’s going on?” You shook your head and smiled at him before walking away.

“Nothing oppa.” Eunhua said as she linked her arms through his. “We were just talking.”

-

“You think you can actually beat me at sparing?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you.

You grinned at him. “Why not, I’m obviously better at kicking than you.”

“Well, I can react faster than you.”

You snorted. “You are always too shook to react to anything. Besides, I remember hearing from your mom, what was it again? Jungkookie is scared of girls.”

“You aren’t that much of a girl to me. And that was four years ago.”

You ignored the sting that you felt at that, looking at Jungkook’s cute bunny smile that lit up his face as he grabbed you by the wrist.

“Come on, lets go do some sparring. Loser treats the winner to dinner.”

-

You were absolutely gone and drunk.

Why did the world look so blur? Why was everything so funny?

Your phone buzzed with messages from Jungkook and you blueticked them.

Jungkook: Y/N why did you leave suddenly?

Jungkook: Are you at the club again?

Jungkook : don’t leave me on read.

Until,

Jungkook : I saw your snapchat story. Your hair is an absolute mess. And you can’t dance.

Y/N : Jungkook you asshhh.

Jungkook: Wait, what?

Y/N: I’m not a pvrfect pevsron am itv ivnd my fualt iom nvt ur ideap tywpe ike Eunhqa.

Jungkook: I’m positive you are drunk right now.

Y/N: So shut if I and? I dunttt cureee. Jus guuu baxk to whdeva u qere dng.

Y/N: you shunt care abt mi cause I am nurt unhua.

Jungkook : You’re still my best friend .

Y/N: Screw binnng ur bes frun. It huuuurrrttts cus it remind s me that I ain’t ur gf n tht thaaatts Eunhud .

Jungkook: Eunhua’s not my girlfriend anymore.

Y/N: Wuai? Wha?

Jungkook: I heard what she said at the gathering, no one treats my best friend like that.

Y/N: But you luv har.

You were slowly getting back to being sober, texting Jungkook for the past twenty minutes suddenly seemed like a stupid thing.

Jungkook: Not as much as I love you.

Wait, what?

Y/N: Yu wha me?

Jungkook: Oh shit. I shouldn’t have said that.

Y/N: Is it true?

Jungkook: Its been true for seven years.

You could feel your heart beating rapidly. This couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t.

You shut down your phone and went back to dancing. This couldn’t be happening. Tonight, you would just dance it all away and it would be just like a dream tomorrow. You’d deal with it tomorrow, after you were done with burying your head in a pillow.

Half an hour later, when you were almost halfway lost into the music, you felt a pair of arms wrap around you.

You were about to scream when you heard him whisper in your ear.

“It isn’t very nice to leave people hanging Y/N. Especially after your best friend just confessed to you.”

Why the hell was Jungkook here?

Turning around, you glared at him. He was dressed in a tee shirt and long blue jeans. You had forgotten that he was off duty the whole day. “Quit kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. I mean, Eunhua was right. No one would fall for someone like me. I party almost all the time. I don’t do my make up as well as other girls. I get drunk easily. It doesn’t matter if I like you Jungkook, you won’t ever-”

You were silenced by Jungkook, who had placed his lips on yours.

His lips tasted like a mix of cinnamon and chocolate and you couldn’t help but melt into the feeling that buzzed through you.

Jeon Jungkook was kissing you.

Your eyes widened in surprise as he pulled away slightly and used his tongue to swipe your lips gently.

“Did you even read my messages after that?“

Jungkook sighed at the dumbfounded look on your face.

"Nevermind that. But seven years Y/N. You’ve known me for seven years and you think I’m lying?”

-

The next morning when you checked your phone, you buried your head in your pillow. This time, to muffle your giggles

Jungkook: Before you think I’m lying, let me tell you a short story about a girl whom I’ve known for seven years.

Jungkook: She was my childhood friend, as well as my Taekwondo best friend.

Jungkook: We managed to stay in contact even after graduation and becoming adults. Still, I worried for and got annoyed at her and her risky ass.

Jungkook: I loved her too. But instead of being direct, I tried to put it through being harsh towards her sometimes.

Jungkook: But I reached my limit when I saw another girl putting her down.

Jungkook: So now here I am, telling her about how I feel and- Y/N did you seriously go offline?

~Admin Waffle

#bts #bangtan boys #bts fluff #bts angst #bts imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

[busaned-blog]

dude your tags on tht post abt hobi+jin not having any lines (+ the discrepancy in ppl's reaction to those awful distributions) is WHEW coldblooded but accurate. ive also seen it happen, ppl leaving bc they can't GET WORK in their own group, and beyond hating awful distributions for wht they are, theyre bad for group longevity esp w/jin whos getting his college degree, who i cld see walking away frm bts w/work+network options even outside of ent. industry. like, bight cherish wht u got rn, dang

Hello anon, thank you so much for your message! It’s nice to know some people actually read my tags I guess haha. I’m not gonna lie, at first when I read your message I was thinking of not replying… simply because we all know tumblr tags are messed up (especially on mobile) and I did not feel like people interpreting my response as hate towards Bangtan or to any of the members. But then I realized that for me in my heart I know my feelings about this whole situation are not based on hate towards either of those so I decided to respond anyways and I just hope that I will word everything correctly so that people reallize I am not a hater. It will be a long response, because as I said in my tags I have a lot of feelings about this, so I’m putting it under a read more :)

When I reblogged that post we’re talking about and put all those tags in, I was extremely angry. I can’t lie about that right now, because I was. Maybe it’s a petty response, but in a song that is 4 minutes and 34 seconds long you just cannot convince me there was no room for Hobi at all. That there was no room for him to get like four lines on his own or for Jin to have more than the two he did? Especially when some members take up like half the song? I just refuse to believe that I’m sorry… And especially to realize, if you look objectively, that the difference in ‘talent’, to put it as such, in Bangtan is not that big let’s be real. They are all extremely talented and no one is 1000 steps above the rest at all in my opinion.

I’ve been a fan since about July 2015, a little after the Dope era, so I have been around for four comebacks now (and a hell of a lot of other groups’ members leaving/groups disbanding) and I’ve said this before on twitter: I feel like the line distribution is getting worse in stead of better with Bangtan. Run was sort of okay for me, especially if you keep in mind the idea of main/lead vocals and sub-vocals, but after that it just got worse and worse imo. And apparently, judging by the response to Hobi having no lines in Spring Day and Jin having barely any solo lines in BST, people really don’t give a shit and want to disguise it under the ‘I love ot7 so let me reblog some posts complaining about the awful line distribution and be done with it’.

The outrage on my dash with the Hobi situation was pitiful, because (and maybe I follow the wrong people who knows) the only ones actually being mad were Hobi stans and some Jin/ot7 stans. The outrage for Jin was basically non existent and it still pisses me off till this day. And the biggest discourse was that people needed to just basically shut up and support Bangtan because otherwise, and wow guilt tripping much?, they would hurt Hobi in the process too. And I get that we all have our favorites, we all have our ranking of the members whatever, but how can you look at this situation and just not realize how damaging it could be in the long run? How damaging it could be for ot7. You don’t have to love and cry and yell about Hobi and Jin as much as you do your bias, but to stay mostly silent cause it doesn’t concern your fave? I just can’t relate…

I’m a Jimin stan, but that means to me I am realistic enough to realize I have nothing to worry about with him. That he will get his lines and his screentime and the attention from his fans. So why should I be blind towards the mistreatment of some of the others? Because I’m settled? Because Jimin is my bias so I have no worries? And I’m not trying to say people who don’t stan Hobi or Jin feel like this, but this is really how it comes across to me. And then everyone, and this annoys me the most, wants to hide behind one of two defenses, a) Bangtan love each other more than anything and they want to stay together forever so awul line distribution won’t break them up and b) Bangtan have a lot of creative control so they probably decided this was best for the song…

Which is funny, because in the same breath they want to oppose haters, which they should don’t get me wrong, by saying ‘don’t hate on *insert their bias here* because it’s not their fault, Big Hit makes the decisions not them’. Excuse me? But that is not how this works. You can’t want to claim they have full creative control and make the decisions themselves and then turn around and say it’s actually Big Hit. It’s either they make the decisions themselves and they are basically assholes for ignoring Hobi, and more specifically Jin in like every song, or they are all subjected to what Big Hit wants.

But to come to the actual point: whether people want to close their eyes to this situation or not, in the end this could be damaging for Bangtan. Do you really think Minzy from 2ne1 didn’t love her group and her members? Do you really believe that guy from Teen Top that wants to leave doesn’t love his group and his members? Do you really believe that someone like Minzy, to take her as an example, who was in one of the biggest girl groups in kpop, just casually decided to leave? Do you not think that she didn’t realize that if she left she will probably never have the income she had with 2ne1 again or that she most likely will never ever be as popular as she was when in the group? Yet she freaking decided to leave anyways, because as you said she got no work! And ofcourse she wanted some, even if that meant not living the live she did with 2ne1, but it would be at least some sort of a life. And this happens to idols all the time, and then they, shocking I know, leave… Awful line distribution, and awful equal promotion, will be the death of any group no matter how much they love each other and the fans or how successful they are.

And I just wish as a fandom we could collectively come together on these subjects a bit more. You don’t have to be a Hobi or Jin stan to be critical of Bangtan’s efforts and in this case their line distribution. And there is also nothing wrong with being a critical fan and trying to let them and Big Hit know that no fan is going to leave if they make everything a little bit more fair. I just don’t want it to come to Bangtan’s contract renewals in a few years and having one or two of them even contemplating leaving. As you said, Jin is graduating soon and many people in the industry have already said that he is a lovely person, easy to work with, funny, clever, hard working and on top of that a lot more multi-talented then people want to give him credit for. You really believe he has no chance of a career outside of Bangtan?

Let me say something positive though for once. If we move beyond the line distribution and take a look at the promo, Big Hit gives me a little bit of hope. 2016 has been a rather good year for all of them in my opinion. Yoongi had his mixtape, Jin had Law of the Jungle and some other variety shows, Tae had his acting, the Taejin OST (where they both proved even more that Bangtan’s line distribution is shit), some MC jobs for all of them on music shows, etc. I think that if you would write it down then their promotion seems to definitely be sort of equal, which gives me great hope that Big Hit will at least always try to promote them equally in that area. But it also seems to me they want them stuck in certain positions: Hobi being the dancer, Jin being the visual, Jungkook being the main vocalist etc. When they are so much more then that!

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m not trying to convince anyone that Hobi or Jin are going to want to leave over this whole thing, but please can we all for once as a fandom acknowledge Bangtan’s shortcomings and realize that if nothing changes (because this is not a one time thing with them), and if we don’t try to voice our concerns, it could come to a Minzy situation (or any other group member that has ever left their group due to disrespect basically). I just don’t want them in the future to break up or have some members leaving, and then have everyone cry their eyes out for a day when we could have done something about it now…

This became so much longer then I wanted to, and I probably didn’t even say everything I wanted to say, so I’m really sorry. And I mostly ranted about nothing you were talking about in your ask, but I needed to get this all of my chest. I always say this and I will say it again: I love Bangtan with all my heart, and I don’t plan on abandoning them anytime soon, but these comebacks just slowly become a little less enjoyable and I will keep hoping that next time will be better. That next time I won’t have to sit through the music video waiting for a glimpse of Hobi or Jin or anyone. I just want Bangtan to reach their full potential, because I really feel they haven’t yet, because I think they are 7 wonderful individuals who deserve nothing less.

#anonymous #this may sound stupid but thank you so much for your ask #i usually write a lot of tags so people won't really read it and leave me alone about it #but it was nice to talk about it with someone #if you have more thoughts on this please let me know i am open to discussion :) #it's just this awful line distribution constantly re surfacing mixed with the repackage bullshit where big hit tried to frame us has annoyed #me to no end and i'm finding it hard right now to fully enjoy this comeback knowing that eventually things like this could be the last straw #for some of them #and maybe i am overexaggerating tbh i really hope i am but yeah #just my thoughts #everything in kpop is basically a popularity contest and that is what upsets me the most #because jin and hobi being done dirty is partly due to that as well cause big hit knows they don't have enough fans to actually cause some s #*sort of uproar lbr #so they can keep doing them dirty because they know most people don't really care #long rant #ignore me #answered

[transrightsjimin]

child abuse //

my mom is very clearly traumatized by how her mom has treated her in her childhood nd she tried to convince my aunt tht grandma was Not a good person and my aunt didnt rly buy it and so my mom talked abt that time my grandma strangled me bc i for once did not want to eat strawberries w loads of sugar on bread like she always prepared when babysitting me, the former which my mom discovered bc school called and said i was crying nonstop in class and had red marks around my neck and my mom called my grandma who then said i was being fussy or smth and my mom then knew what went on and she cld never babysit me again. nd my fucking aunt didnt believe this story either and turned to me and asked w that stupid american fake smile on her face "do you remember when grandma did that? :)" and was a bit frustrated nd said "no i dont but i dontt remember the years of bullying that i went through either but i knew i was bullied" nd just urgh that aunt is annoying nd though i do dislike how my mom often copied the abusive nd toxic behaviour, i do rly feel bad for the shit she went through. her friend and cleaning lady went through hell and back too and i just feel so fucking angry knowing what pain adults can cause and just how persistent trauma can be, especially noticable when it's passed onto another generation. but urgh i think my mom didnt mention the strangling part before, prob to not shake me up too much, but i do feel shocked now. not that i dont think grandma wasnt like that bc she was, but just the fact that i don't remember is both a relief and frightening bc like... what if theres more abusive incidents w her or someone else that i erased. i mean ive erased memories of the bullying too, aside from this very small nd not so heavy moment that i remember writing in the diary i had to keep for the doctor do i could deal with stress or something. god, primary school times were a trip

#rambles #child abuse // #family stuff

[transrightsjimin]

may have broken down in frustrated tears over stupid fucking Gezelligheid mentality AGAIN

(aka finding ppl visiting each others’ homes all the gd time and hugging nd kissing nd not wearing facemasks bc it’s SOCIABLE thats NORMAL and DUTCH and it’s somehow logical to consider this more important than making sure others dont get infected and DIE. and YES ppl still tell me them finding being social IRL more important makes sense even when i phrase it as a lesser priority over LOVED ONES DYING)

but this time it was to my autism coach who clearly didnt empathize w me being frustrated w my job coach not listening to me until asking nd nearly demandng after 6 attempts that yes i would like her to wear a face mask in the small office i met her in!!

nd i talked to my autism coach abt my very much immunocompromised mom and my grandma and my aunt nd just generally family wanting to visit indoors unmasked bc thats SOCIAAL!!

and ironically i was describing my frustrations w my job coach asking me, after angering me, why i was angry, nd tone policying nd saying i “should be more considerate to other people” (THATS WHY I WEAR FACEMASKS ND TRY TO NOT MEET UP CLOSE U ASSHAT!!! SO I DONT INFECT ND KILL PEOPLE!!!!) and “respect other people think differently about it” (I AM AWARE AND DO NOT RESPECT IT!!!!!) , IRONICALLY i ended up venting abt this w frustration bc i could notice my autism coach found it important too that i meet up w family irl soon (like my autism coaches nd gender therapist keep asking when we can finally have appointments irl again bc thats normal and just. NO. NO WHAT THE FUCK)

nd she too went like ‘im trying to empathize w u here but i do understand your family more and u do rly need to think of them too‘ nd i just broke down sobbing badly, like worse than usual in a way ive only had this intense nd briefly since recently, nd i felt so annoyed abt it nd she clearly did feel somewhat bad for me but also sort of tried to make my crying ok by reasoning im struggling to get into the routine of work / sleep and like thats true, but she said it more in a way to form an excuse for my super out of line act of crying over ppl not caring abt the fucking pandemic and treating me like a selfish weirdo for not considering their selfish feelings over their own and others’ lives.

its like just like w my job coach after my voice clearly shook in anger, nd she asked abt why i was going to the MRI scan i mentioned, nd i said it was bc of hormone imbalance and doctors worried abt me not having PMS regularly, nd she replied w like this sympathetic smile, like ahh thats why youre irritable, ‘ohh so you have PMS regularly, ah, yes that must be-‘ nd i was like ‘no actually it’s not regularly, i dont have it for months‘

i just feel lightheaded every time i stress cry now bc its too much stress nd devastation all at once. not to self victimize but life rn feels like im in a bad hidden camera prank where people try to convince me im insane for believing a deadly virus is dangerous and that doing so is very selfish somehow. except its not a prank and real and i hate it. idk how to even vent abt this to my best friend bc he doesnt deal well w expressing empathy bc autism nd like, we hug a lot but he doesnt rly know wht to say. nd maybe its true im going irrational nd acting too angry at fcking work or in public but thats bc the systems r so fucking messed up tht no one seems to be aware of shit like the dangers of pandemics?? capitalism?? cops (remember the new years story where i was concerned for a man in psychosis bc the whole street called the cops on him nd they didnt respond or say anything at all when i expressed i wasnt happy they called cops on him nd then acted like i was hysterical??)(FOR WORRYING ABT ROTTERDAM COPS!! WHO R OFTEN REPORTED TO ASSAULT PPL SEVERELY ND LOVE TO TALK ABT WANTING TO KILL PPL IN THEIR LEAKED GROUP CHATS??)??

like just w all of these things it feels like im talking to a wall when saying smth as simple as ‘í would like to ask you to keep your mask on when we’re in the office‘ or ‘no i would not like my vulnerable old family member to come over inside during a pandemic‘. maybe i am turning fcking nuts maybe!! maybe i might fcking lose it!!!!!

#rambles #longest rant i made in a while