#What the fuck French pronounciation

[chryseiswriting-blog]

Fuck all y’all. I’ve been pronouncing it Jean like blue jeans and I ain’t about to stop just cause some French man on YouTube told me how it’s actually pronounced 😤

Jan?!? JJJAN? Like JAUN!????

YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO TELL ME IT RHYMES WITH SEAN AND IS CLOSER TO SAN AND JAN THAN APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS WITH THE FUR?!?

No. Denied. Go home, you’re drunk.

#What the fuck French pronounciation #get outta here #tsc #all for the game #the sunshine court #nora sakavic #books #Jean Moreau has an Apple bottom and no one can tell me otherwise #he would wear boots with the fur #aftg fandom #aftg #tsc spoilers #French pronounciation can eat my ass #not really #but come on #Just let me be a stupid westerner

[ymdslf]

nothing humbles me quite as much as trying to order food in france

#it’s the two things i hate most #which are 1) #deciding on and ordering food #and 2) #failing miserably at attempting to speak french #the server just looked at me like im a crazy person #and corrected my sisters pronounciation of ‘sucre’ #i feel so fucking stupid and self concious and for what #mattis talks #also yes i am in paris right now which means im gonna start going on a murderous rampage soon

[suttttton]

i started learning french, which will be my third language after english and arabic, and after 5 years of studying arabic i am FLOORED by how easy this language is

#like i knew going in it would be easier because arabic is Hell for english speakers but #god there are tears in my eyes #all those fucking romance language majors in the mll department and you mean to tell me THIS was what they were dealing with????? #like i don't want to downplay french because i'm sure it has some hurdles i can already tell the pronounciation is gonna be hard but like #after 5 years of arabic i'm like jared 19 i never learned how to read #my arabic is BAD is what i'm saying and you mean to tell me??? #that i'm actually not just awful at foreign languages??? #you mean to tell me that the languages that are related to english are actually a lot easier to learn??? #that's real???????? #i feel like i'm going insane like this isn't news to me but it feels like news #knowing is different from understanding etc. #(also none of this is to speak poorly of arabic my love) #(if english is your first language and you're considering studying arabic do it definitely do it it's awesome but also) #(maybe don't make your primary goal to ever be good at it)

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

#srry i take so long to answer smth so simple #i actually have a surprising amount of asks! #i was thinkin abt it the other day like #damn should i reopen mail box #then i was like #not really bc i still got a lot of stuff to answer! #so now ITS CRAZZYYY to see my first posts/asks and see me trying to get ppl to send asks! #anyway i gotta make a 1000 followers thing bc i love u guys #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #genshin imagines #genshin isekai #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #genshin impact au #genshin x reader

[dreamauri]

‧˚⊹ 𝗱𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 ଓ :: 𝗠𝗩𝟭 ‧₊˚⤾

you are reading :: part nine !!

╭╯ pairing . . . max verstappen x fem! driver! reader ) ┊ summary . . . a day for improvement and a nice cuddle session ) ┊ genre . . . fluff / angst ) ╰╮ warning . . . X )

☆★ more max and y/n, horay! we're almost thereeee ━━

( fic masterlist | general masterlist ) ( requests ) ( taglist )

R8 - QUALIFYING Sunday, May 25 2024 — Circuit de Monaco, Monaco

"Eh el enti labseh dah?" [What are you wearing] Your grandmother scolded once you helped her out of the car, picking at your hoodie unimpressed. "Sebuhah fehalha." [Let her mind her business] Your grandfather sighed getting out of the drivers seat, pulling you in a gentle hug. "Hi gedo." [grandpa]

You sighed relaxed as your grandparents patted your shoulder and pinched your cheek. "You didn't tell me you were coming." "We don't need an invitation, ya habibit mama." [Mom's sweat heart] Grandma said sarcastically in her absolutely horrible English accent which you had to hold your breath in to not laugh at.

"El nas bet bous leh?" [Why is everyone staring] Your grandfather asked looking around the parking lot to the people absolutely oogiling and taking pictures of car. "3alafekra, enta betsou2 nevra. enta 3aref di ghaliah ade eh?" [You're driving a nevera. You have any idea how expensive that is] "La2. Ana shoftaha we 3oztaha." [no I saw it and said I wanted it] he scoffed making you roll your eyes, hooking your arm with his as you walked towards the entrance paddock.

"Tu es toujours dans cette boîte à merde?" [You still in that shit box] Your grandmother smiled amused, French accent and pronounciation on point for some reason. You opened the door to the Alpha Tauri hospitality. "People here speak French. And your French is good. So they can understand you. Which means you're embaeessing m-"

"Grand maaaaaaaa!" You watched as Meike ran into the building catching your grandparents in a hug. You folded your arms listening to them shower each other in hugs and affection.

"Great of you to join us." You joked as Killian sneaked in as well receiving the same treatment as your twin. "What about me?" You pouted slouching. "Girl we see you everyday." Granma scoffed making you chuckle as you shared a bone crushing hug with your brothers and grandfather.

"Aboki fen ba2a 3alashan adrabo 3ala nafokho." [Now, where's your dad so I can beat the shit out of him] you watched silently as your grandparents and twin argued over beating up or not beating up your dead, a small smile on your face.

Max watched from behind the doors quietly, holding Leila's hand who had an ice-cream in her mouth, looking around the paddock. "What . . . Are! What questions we looking at?" She looked into the motor home confused, her eyes lighting up as she saw her family running in to great them.

"The whole family is almost back together." You joked to Max once he decided to join you. He held up the can of red RedBull for you, which you clapped in excitement before thanking him and popping the can open.

Max's never seen a family interact like yours, most likely because his family was small and he didn't have that much Sibling or cousins and aunts and uncles. "I wanted to ask." He started hesitantly.

You hummed turning your attention to him. "Well- I was wondering-" He fiddled with his hands behind his back, looking away from your eyes. 'You should tell her.' His consciousness reminded him.

"I wanted to tell you- do you and Leila wanna stay over for the week? Like a sleep over?" 'Fucking hell.' Max watched as a smile spread on your lips. You quickly nodded. "Thank you, Max. That- that's really nice of you."

"No- Y/N, don't bring our enemies into our sacred space." Yuki cut in pushing Max from his back, along with your two brothers, put of your motor home. You laughed as you watched them looking back either confused or pouting with Yuki dusting his hands in satisfaction.

"That was mean." "They were going to steal you, Y/N."

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

alphataurif1

liked by pieregasly player.17 and 27M others alphataurif1 P5 and P7 for tomorrows race with leila in the garage today, looking good guys 💪

mclaren leila, come stop by! we have cupcakes! ↳ scuderiaferrari forget mclaren, we have pancakes and pasta, leila ↳ alpinef1team leila, forget ferrari, we have ice cream ↳ astonmartinf1 forget alpine, leila. we have fernando alonso ↳ redbullracing forget all the above, you forgot your right show in max's garage ↳ player.17 excuse me- why do you have her right shoe? ↳ redbullracing tickle fight, i believe leila has both of max's shoes as well

user is it just be or is alpha tauri catching up? ↳ user Y/N's breathing down their neck mate, dont be surprized if she's on the podium tomorrow ↳ user awh hell nah, somebody stop her ↳ user mate 💀 we're done for

user leile looks so happy, she's so cute ↳ user she's looks like she's having a healthy childhood from what we see ↳ user she's not going to be cute dominating f1 in 10 years ↳ user dont even remind me, i cant hear the same antheum over and over, im allergic. someone stop versappen, srsly

user i get why all the teams are fighting for leila, like i would like to fight to give her a hug too ↳ user RIGHT?! SHE JUST LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL ↳ player.17 she /is/ an angel ↳ maxverstappen1 she's a demon ↳ player.17 MOTHER FOCKER YOU STOLE HER FROM ME ↳ maxverstappen1 leila says its fucker* with a u ↳ player.17 VERSTAPPEN YOUR A DEAD MAN

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You sat silently, sipping from the juice carton as you you watched max run up and down the paddock after Leila in only his socks, trying to get his shoes back. "You're doing great, Maxine." You cupped your hand over your mouth so your voice could reach him.

Max looked back at you, glaring. "Can you be of good use and help me?!" You couldn't be bothered, slouching back in your chair and closing your eyes. "I'm good."

Max had to drive back to his apartment barefoot, watching Leila run around and explore the apartment while you flopped on the couch. "You're one good host." You yawned, making Max purse his lape and shake his head playfully.

"Pretty sure you invited me to your house without even knowing me that well." He joked, grabbing a nearby blanket and covering you with it, before finding a spot for himself to sit beside you.

"I did know you that well technically. You played football with Mieke and Killian— all the time." You yawned between your words. "And I'm pretty sure you've been on each and every one of my podiums in karting and f1."

". . . Don't sleep yet, who's going to make dinner?" He nudged your shoulder joking. "Well the host, of course." You joked back closing your eyes. Max felt his gaze soften listening to your breath even. He hesitantly reached over and brushed the few strands of hair behind your ear, adjusting the blanket before getting up to find the tween.

Max did end up making dinner, sharing a plate with Leila infront of the TV after he carried you to bed ( his bed, he thought you'd be more comfortable in it than the guest room, wasnt a big deal right ).

The Dutch driver did help Lei get ready for bed, setting her in the bed beside your sleeping body while he went to get ready for his other bed. What he didn't expect was Leila pulling and insisting they all shared the same bed because it was a "sleep over".

He felt jealous watching you and Leila sleep so peacefully while he couldn't sleep a wink. The moonlight peaking from the windows made your features look so perfect and made you look so peaceful. You wouldn't mind if he removed the pillow wall betwen you two right? Just so he could scootch in a little, and hold your hand. Which effectively brought him enough serenity for the night.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Cat." He heard Leila whisper in the middle of the night, getting off to probably have another play session with sassy or jimmy. He was too unbored to get up this early, he wasn't bothered at all either when you turned and snuggled into his chest to replace the warmth Leila took with her.

He gently wrapped an arm around your back keeping you close. He couldn't bring himself to sleep again, being so close to you made him feel complete. Max had instead found refuge in scrolling through his phone, enjoying how his heartbeat and breathing patterns matched with yours.

This was going to be awkward in the morning.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

R8 - RACE DAY Sunday, May 26 2024 — Circuit de Monaco, Monaco

It wasn't that bad. You didn't know how you ended up here, head resting on Max's chest while listening to his steady heartbeat which threatened to lull you back to sleep. You could hear the hushed conversation between Max and Leila, probably concerning to two purring cats behind you.

This felt like a reverie. A fantasy.

You've always dreamt about waking up beside a nice man, who would be an angel to your children and would run his fingers gently through your hair same way max was doing now. It made you think differently about Max . . . very differently. You've never seen him like that before.

But you shouldn't see Max like that. You were competitors, ex-teammates. Yes he was very nice and fun, got along with your family very well, was practically Leila's best friend and knew your favourite Red Bull flavor— fucking hell. You couldn't possibly crush on him. No way.

But you'd rather miss the race than leave his embrace.

You cleared your throat making you and Max simultaneously pull away and sit up in silence. Leila looked between you two narrowing her eyes as she rubbed the cat's head. "Who ever wins will start the conversation." You rolled your eyes at her, kissing her cheek good morning. Her suggestion was only going to end in one way.

And it did end her way.

"Here comes the lights to one of the great tests in all of sport. And formula one is racing on the streets of Monte Carlo."

Lap 1 :: "And Max Verstappen wins the Monaco grand Prix." You narrated to yourself as you overtook Norris on turn one, because you can.

You knew you weren't going to be able to overstake Daniel ahead or your older brother after that. But P4 was good, you weren't satisfied, but good.

That was the most you could do. You've defended position against both the McLarens behind throughout the whole race, giving you no time to attack or overtake Daniel in front.

Lap 53 :: "I'm GLIDING!" You shouted in the radio as you lost control of the car. "INTERS. I SAID INTERS. NOT MEDIUM. WHY AM I ON MEDIUM?!" You shouted angrily. As you did your best to catch up to the McLarens that passed you. "WHY IS IT THAT YOU NEVER LISSTEN TO WHAT I SAY? I'M DRIVING. I KNOW WHAT IM DOING. OR IS IT BECAUSE IM A STUPID ARABIAN GIRL?"

"We are pitting for—" "INTERMEDIATS AND FRONT WING. I SWEAR TO GOD— **** ******** *** ***** *** KHARA DAH WENTA BE3MEL **** ***** ***** ******. FUCKING SHIT SHOW. MY GRANDMOTHER CAN DO BETTER WORK THAN THIS FUCKING TEAM."

It was raining. That usually wasn't an issue when you weren't DANCING LIKE A FIGUTRE SKATER WITH THE GOD DAMN CAR, because inters and mediums sound so "similar". You were going to put your fist in someone's face after this.

Lap 62 :: "I'm going to fucking. JUMP OFF BRIDGE." Your rage meter was going to pop off at any moment as you overtook Daniel to sit in P2 only to receive an 5 second time penalty. "Take the wheel. I'm going to fucking kill someone." "I'm good thank you, maybe next time." You heard other you chuckle as you drove past her from where she stood with some marshals. "You're fucking useless."

Final Lap :: You could feel you chest heaving as you parked in where P2 would. But there was no board because you had fallen into P4, right where you started. "I hate you!" You repeated slamming your fists down on the steering wheel over and over. To whome that statement was directed to was unknown.

"My life is a shit show." You growled slammed the stupid white and black helmet on the ground. "Nunu, relax." "Don't tell me to relax." You shrugged killain's hand off your shoulder, feeling your chest and palm burn from the anger bubbling.

"Hey, It's going to be fine." Max was next to come and comfort you. "I fucking lost." You argued, feeling angry tears swell in your eyes as you looked up at him. "There's a lot more to racing than winning." You sighed shakily at the statement, running your hand over your face to catch your breath. "I'm— I'm fine."

You could feel Max pat your head gently before his presence disappeared. You had to figure out what you were doing with your life. This isn't how you should be spending it.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

2007 — Stuttgart, Germany

It was yet another disappointing race for Max, he always seemed to disappoint. With helmet in hand, he walked down the circuit's building to the washroom, head down in shame. The boy that he had thought he'd become friends with had forced him out and beaten him in the race. And nothing hurts more than listening to your father compare you to a friend.

Max should have expected such a dirty move, Meike was a Kraus after all and Krauses do whatever they need to get their hands on the first place trophy. But Max never expected them to go this far, especially on their own kin.

While walking back, a rattling door caught his attention. Bangs and clanks were what he could hear from the other side. And although his brain was screaming for him to ignore it, Max found himself rotating the key to the lock. What he didn't expect was the door to go flying open and slam in his face.

He watched as the silhouette of the familiar girl ran past him with a metre long rebar. From the window he watched he saw you came up from behind your celebrating brother. Swinging forth with the metal, Max could only wince as he saw Meike fall on the ground.

( taglist ↳ @lorarri @benedikwonn @mycenterfold @ironmaiden1313 @iamahallucinationnn @hockeyboysarehot @tsnataly @iloveyou3000morgan @lpab @jetless @inas-thing @folklorelvrr @fdl305 @lifesuckslife @loveofmylife12 @chasing-liberosis @peachiicherries @ferrariloverr @love4lando @stewel92 @screemqueen @lizzieolseniskinda @chelseyyouraverageluigi @michellekstyles @bibissparkles @copper-boom @ferraribabe @ssararuffoni @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @topguncultleader @sheslikeacurse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nellxsies @ru-kru @stvrlec16 @janeholt3 @boherahpsody @styles-sunflower @luciaexcorvus @hornedravenclaws @lazybot

#‧˚⊹🪴 ଓ :: 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 ‧₊˚⤾ #f1 #formula 1 #formula racing #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #max #max verstappen #mv1 #mv33 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max x reader #max x you #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen fanfic #mv1 x reader #mv33 x reader #mv1 fic #mv33 fic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 fluff #f1 fics #formula one x you #formula one x reader #formula one x y/n

[youraveragecatastrophe]

Rating VILE operatives' codenames in french

(Season 1 edition)

Black sheep = Mouton Noir. Literal translation. It works. Longer and more of a mouthful than Black sheep though. 9/10

Crackle = Crackle, or should I say Craqueul. God does the french accent shine through in those English words, it's embarrassing. Anyway they didn't try very hard but Crackle is nice. Short, sweet, straight to the point. Though it's not a french word, it's close enough to french words and onomatopoeia like crac and craquement to bring to mind electricity with a threatening edge. Deducting a point because it's still not that transparent for french speakers. 9/10

Le Chèvre = La Chèvre. YES YES THEY CORRECTED MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE!!! "Chèvre" is a feminine noun in french, you say "la chèvre" and never "le chèvre", it just doesn't make sense. I am so happy. 100000/10

El Topo = El Topo. You know what they say: if it ain't broke... Also very glad they didn't translate as there are few names in spanish. 10/10

Tigress = Tigresse. Literal translation, which works well bc the two words are very close. The french pronounciation keeps giving me a double take so I'll deduct a point. 9/10

Mime Bomb = le Mime Marteau ("marteau" literally means hammer but it's also a colloquial way of saying "crazy"). Okay I used to think it was fucking stupid but I was just an uncultured swine. It references Marcel Marceau, aka "le Mime Marceau", a french mime and actor. I do prefer Mime Bomb bc it's both funny and gives a subtle air of menace, while to me "marteau" only conveys weirdness, but Mime Marteau is pretty good too. 10/10 for the effort.

Dash Haber = Dash Haber. 0 effort and it's not even a pun in french, for fuck's sake. 2/10

Paperstar = Origamine. There's been an effort, I'll give them that. This is a portemanteau word of "origami" (don't think I need to explain this one) and "gamine" (feminine form of "gamin", french informal word meaning kid). Buuuut... why would Paperstar call herself a kid. Yes, she has a soft singsong voice and does that humming thing, but she doesn't really... make it part of her identity?? She looks young but she doesn't strike me as wanting to be called a kid. 5/10 because i'm still very lukewarm about it.

Cookie Booker = Cathy Compta. Cathy like the name and Compta as the shortened version of "comptabilité", as in "accounting". This is the worst name ever. I love it. It HAS to be the name of a character from an old game or show because they would never have just invented it for the 2019 show. It's cheesy and sounds absolutely terrible and it cracked me up, this is so classic Carmen Sandiego. 9/10

#i didnt talk about the faculty since they didnt translate their names (apart from “countess” becoming “comtesse” - literal translation) #just started season 2. i'll update this post once i finish it #currently making a prayer circle for neal the eel to be named gilles l'anguille or some shit #carmen sandiego 2019 #chatters

[bisonaari]

Rambling about the finnish language because I have thoughts. They probably won't make a lot of sense, but it's mostly for me hahaha

First of all if you haven't downloaded the app Drops, you should!! It's super fun to learn vocabulary so far, and the interface is soooo cute!! Idk how effective it is on the long term, but it can't hurt to practice more hahaha.

Then this should have actually been first but whatever lol. I'm having so much fun learning the language. I hadn't felt that since I started learning japanese in 2006, and I've tried maaaaany more languages since then lol. I'm genuinely looking forward to my duolingo everyday! Every time I understand a new word in a song or an interview or something it's like my brain has solved a new puzzle and the SEROTONIN I SWEAR

Finnish has started to sound familiar for me now? Like earlier today I was watching an estonian/finnish comparison video and when the guy started speaking estonian I was like "oh yeah I def recognise the intonation and a few words, but that's it". Then the other guy started speaking finnish and my brain had a moment of "OH!! I know this!!! This is our stuff!!" Like I don't even feel that with spanish, and my spanish is better than my finnish by a LONG shot lmao. (It's still shit though I'm like three years old toddler level lol)

Idk I wanted to say something else but I'm just so so so happy a a a a a

OH YEAH also I'm a dumb fuck and since my third language is japanese I've hard-wired myself into pronouncing stuff the japanese way every time a language is nor english nor french, and it PISSES ME OFF. Because I KNOW how to pronounce the sounds but my brain is like oh did you mean [japanese sound] lemme fix that for you NO I KNOW WHAT I MEANT LET ME SAY WORDS GDI

So here is a list of stuff that I need to deprogram

from japanese

U pronounciation. In japanese, u is like a y/u mix and it's so hard to undo once you start doing it URGH

Soft-rolled r. Rolling r hard is kinda bad manneers in Japan so I never really forced myself to do it

L/R confusion. Since it's the exact same sound for both in japanese sometimes I just L my R or roll my L it's so silly hahaha

From french

T/D stridulation. It's pronouncing t as ts and d as dz instead of a hard t or d. It's only found in quebec french and it took me A BILLION YEARS to learn when I moved here, and now I have to undo it???

Ä/A distinction. Already said it, but it's more of a matter of accent in french so I need to stop using them interchangeably

Learn to fucking read y/u and ö/o GDI BISON IT'S NOT HARD

Stress of the first syllable. Almost impossible for a french speaker BUT I SHALL PERSEVERE

From both:

THERE IS NO GENDERED PRONOUN IN FINNISH STOP THINKING ABOUT IT THEY DO NOT EXIST STOPPPPPP

Thank you for reading my scrambled mind lol. I'm training for another department at work and it's a lot of info so my brain is about to leak from my ears, and it shows in my writing lmao

#bison learns finnish

[unhelpfulfemme]

Once again I participate in the "get to know your mutuals" chain mail meme (I'm 100% this is not the correct term but my brain is really fried atm), this time I was tagged by @stripedroseandsketchpads :D I feel like I do this every two months at least so I'm kind of out of people to tag who haven't done it recently, and I've also been kind of dissociated from Tumblr due to work stress so I don't remember if I added anyone new recently :/ So whoever wants to do it, let's pretend I tagged you :D

Last song I listened to: Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - I just discovered this band! Even though it's made up of really famous people from other more famous bands! And I really like it!

Currently watching: The Borgias. So far it's... okay? I'm enjoying the character beats but the actual plotty plot (i.e. the politics and wars) is so slowly paced and overly linear. They seem really scared of the audience not getting it so they only allow one plotty thing to be happening at any given time, and they make sure to spell everything out at least once per episode. Which is... not what I'm used to in my historical political drama (quite the opposite in fact!). Perhaps I could have benefited from this approach if it were a fantasy world or a country I don't have much to do with (I remember having to open up a map of Scotland so many times while reading the first Lymond because they kept going from one city to the other and I didn't know where they were in relation to each other), but it's set in my own country and half of the "as you know" recaps are just basic Italian geography for the anglophone audiences lol. After the fifth time one well-educated character explains to another well-educated character that Florence is in the north-west and Naples is south of Rome, I kind of want to scream. The pronounciations are also all over the place - three guys are sitting at a table looking each other in the eyes and pronouncing "Medici" 3 incorrect ways, at least they could have streamlined it between the actors. Like far be it from me to demand proper pronounciation with the way Italians butcher English words constantly, but at least make it consistent! Luke Pasqualino is the only one pronouncing anything as it should be pronounced, and I really felt bad for him in that scene where Lucrezia keeps asking him to say her name and they're both repeating it over and over, because he's the only one pronouncing it correctly while she's saying it as if she had a mouth full of rocks. Btw my favourite Holliday Grainger fucking up the Italian scene so far is when she needs to ride breathlessly up to the French king and say a long line about her brother Juan the Gonfaloniere and basically she's supposed to repeat "Gonfaloniere" several times and you can literally see her going "my brother is the gonfalonsajkdnajsdsbaj" and making a "fuck it, whatever" expression when she gets to the complicated part. Anyway I am enjoying the show, the pronounciations make me laugh they don't make me mad. And the costumes are gorgeous!

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory or spicy, depending on the mood. I dislike sweet things.

Current Obsession: Nothing really, I've been really tangled up with RL things and am feeling vaguely anhedonic because I keep thinking about work, so it's hard to get into something haha. This is actually why I'm able to focus on the Borgias, because they have quite low bandwidth requirements (i tried to watch it before and found it slow-ish). This too shall pass I suppose :)

[greypetrel]

From the magical land of "Italian courses for Russian speakers" I'm preparing lessons for my Ukrainian smarty pant teen with (he speaks Russian, which is fortunate since the one time I tried to pronounce anything in Ukrainian he had a good laugh).

Today's unit has a reading on Italian geography, and it further confirms me that this course was written WELL BEFORE 1989. (as if the many references to the USSR weren't enough, as well as the love for postage stamp collection, presented as a hobby)

Today the dialogue informs us that most italians (not all. most.) is able to express themselves in Italian, even if they usually speak in their own dialect. Person B wonders if Italians will be able to understand their handbook Italian. Person A goes on explaining that what makes a dialect are the small differences in pronounciation, such as pronouncing your vowels open or closed.

...

I did exams on linguistics in University and "Pronounciation makes the dialect" is a first. I had my grandma who spoke some Parmesan dialect (not the inflection with french-style Rs and open vowel. Proper dialect, saying that tortelli needs to be "foghè in t'al butér, sughè in t'al formài" - Italian would be "affogati nel burro e asciugati nel formaggio". See the differences are more than just pronounciation? It means that your tortelli must be drowned in butter and dried in parmesan cheese. Parmesan cuisine is very light, and terribly vegan-friendly, yes.)

Also every fucking country does the same? xD @callumogden was it a lie? Did you really understood my English even if I don't... At this point even if I don't speak Scots, since inflection=dialect???

I am confused.

Linguistic, Cartographer and very confused.

Per gli italiani in lettura: sì, ovviamente cita la barbabietola da zucchero.

#personal crap #linguistics

[morporkian-cryptid]

Multilingual Lupin III Gang shenanigans!

We know that everyone in the LoopGang is multilingual, and there is no way their conversations wouldn't be chaos half of the time.

For the purpose of these headcanons, here's what each of them speaks:

Lupin: French and Japanese (both native), English (fluent), can get by in a bunch of other languages and quickly get to a respectable level of fluency with a few weeks' study

Jigen: English (native), Japanese (fluent, spoke it as a kid in his family), Italian (picked up a lot of it in NYC), French (learned while in Nice with Joe of Spades, later perfected it with Lupin)

Goemon: Japanese (native), Ainu (fluent), a couple of Japanese dialects (nearly fluent/gets by), English (fluent or nearly), a bit of French (currently trying to learn it)

Fujiko: Japanese (native), English (fluent), pretty much fluent in a bunch of languages and can easily learn a new one, like Lupin

Zenigata: Japanese (native), English (not fluent but can get by, pretty bad pronounciation because he mostly learned in textbooks), can get by with the basics in a lot of languages

(You're all warmly invited to add your own headcanons!)

---

The Gang is having a conversation in Japanese, a few English words are being thrown around, and Goemon can't remember a word in Japanese.

Cue Goemon having a small identity crisis.

---

They can never remember which idiom comes from which language, and often get bewildered reactions from others when they get it wrong.

(After Lupin told them a story about his father)

Goemon, solemnly: The son of a toad is a toad.

Jigen and Fujiko are keeled over with laughter, Lupin looks deathly offended.

----

Goemon texts in kanji, Fujiko mixes kanji with the occasional English word, Lupin writes in Japanese with roman letters, Jigen doesn't give a damn and writes in a lawless mix of Japanese and English. Their group chat is a nightmare.

----

Zenigata can't make a proper sentence in anything other than Japanese or English to save his life, but he can say "You're under arrest" and "Have you seen this man?" perfectly in 34 languages.

----

Lupin is usually well-spoken and polite, but in French he swears like a trucker. One day he stubs his toe against a table, and starts yelling "PUTAIN DE BORDEL DE MERDE D'ENCULE, FOUTUE TABLE DE MES DEUX!" (Fucking brothel of shit of ass-fucked, damned table of my two (implied: my two balls))

The next week, Jigen stubs his toe against the same table, and lets out one, loud, heartfelt, deeply american "FUCK!"

Fujiko forces them both to eat soap.

----

Fujiko and Lupin sometimes forget that the other two aren't fluent in a dozen languages, which can lead to conversations like this:

Fujiko (in German) : Hey, how would you say "Treppenwitz" in English?

Lupin (in German) : I dunno... (switching to English) Hey Goemon, how would you say "Treppenwitz" in English?

Goemon: ???????

----

One of the non-native English speakers mispronounces a word in front of Jigen, and learns that their whole life has been a lie.

Lupin: That guy was a total dum-bass!

Jigen, doing a double-take: What did you just say?

Lupin: He was a dum-bass. What? It's true.

Jigen: -snorts- Dum-bass.

Lupin: What??

Jigen: It's pronounced dum-ass, you idiot.

Lupin: It is WHAT?? That's completely stupid! Where did the B go???

Jigen: You pronounce "oiseaux" as "wazo" and you're asking me where the B went?????

----

Lupin trying to teach Jigen French:

Lupin: Marin.

Jigen: Marrant.

Lupin: No, that means "funny". Marin.

Jigen: Marron.

Lupin: That's "brown"!

Jigen: Why is every word in your godforsaken language pronounced the same???

Lupin: Says the guy whose language says "beach" and "bitch" the same way!!!

----

Jigen not understanding English words in Japanese sentences:

[In Japanese]

Lupin: I bought us some aisukurimu!

Jigen: Some what?

Lupin: Aisukurimu! Come help me put it in the freezer.

Jigen: What the fuck is aisukurimu? I just asked you to buy us some damn ice-cream!

----

Conversly, Goemon not understanding Japanese words used in other languages:

Lupin: Tu es un samouraï. (You are a samurai)

Goemon: ???

Lupin: Un sa-mou-ra-ï.

Goemon: I have absolutely no idea what you are saying to me.

----

Lupin (learned British English) and Jigen (from NYC) arguing for hours on whether it's po-tah-to or po-tay-to. Fujiko waltzes in after ten minutes, pronounces it with a thick Australian accent, then leaves. Shouting ensues.

----

Accidentally using straight translations of a word:

Goemon: Jigen, I can't find my wear-thing.

Jigen: Your what now?

Goemon: My wear-thing!

Jigen: .... YOU MEAN YOUR CLOTHES?

----

They're used to people in Japan not understanding English well, and thus speaking English among themselves when they don't want to be understood by others. This unfortunately does not work in other countries.

They also sometimes start speaking the wrong foreign language to the locals of whatever country they're in, because they travel so much they keep forgetting where they are.

----

Lupin is absolutely horrified by Frapanese and Engrish, Jigen is in stitches every time he sees it. He bought Lupin a tshirt that says "I don't need life I'm high on drugs". Lupin tried to burn it several times.

----

Goemon and Jigen are constantly fighting about the metric system vs imperial system.

----

In moments of panic, they can't remember certain words nor easily switch to another language, so you get warnings like "Put the stuff in the thing, it's gonna boom!"

----

Lupin finds out about the goémon, and never lets Goemon live it down.

(Alternatively: the Gang goes to France, a local discreetly asks Lupin why his partner is called Algae, Lupin cracks up)

----

Lupin and Goemon are cooking together, Lupin needs a specific utensil but cannot for the life of him remember its name, ends up asking for the "hot food shovel". Goemon also can't remember what it's called but give it to him nonetheless.

The next day at 3 in the morning, Goemon is brutally woken up by Lupin sitting up and yelling "SPATULA!!!"

----

Since they're constantly abroad, they're not up to date with the modern slang of their homeland.

Driver that Lupin honked at: Vas manger tes grands morts! (go eat your great deads)

Lupin: Ex-fucking-cusez moi????

----

Lupin is so used to the Japanese "r" he ends up saying "galage" instead of "garage".

One time he's working on a heist at 2 am, he's half-asleep, and accidentally signs his calling card "Rupan" in roman letters.

----

Lupin and Jigen are reading the newspaper, an article catches their eye and they start talking about it. It's only five minutes later, when they notice Goemon glaring at them, that they realize: they were speaking Italian the whole time.

----

During fights they tend to revert to their native language, so you get Lupin yelling in French and Fujiko responding in Japanese, neither of them willing to switch to accommodate the other. Jigen eventually joins in with a thick Bronx accent.

----

They also revert back to their native language during steamy times

Lupin gets really flustered from hearing Jigen speak French. Once, Jigen calls him "mon voleur" (my thief); Lupin's knees instantly turn into jelly.

#lupin iii #lupin the third #daisuke jigen #goemon ishikawa #fujiko mine #koichi zenigata #the hobbit's headcanons #bilingual #multilingual #bilingual problems #sorry in advance if the readmore doesn't work; im on mobile and the text editor sucks #long post #EDIT: finally added a working readmore im sorry for all the long-ass versions of this post floating around

[team-council-two]

Question for Alpha: any advice for making up French names for Spy ocs? Or French names in general? Thank you!

i find it difficult to be honest- i am *horrid* at naming characters and part of why i highly dislike making OCs is having to name them. here is what guidelines i would use though, mostly common sense/quite generic-

-actors, singers and shit often have "catchy" names/pseudonyms that fare well for this purpose, + it will be easier for you to find a pronounciation for these, nicknames and so on. you however do have to check around whether it is a name at all or a made up thing for the case of scene names, and be careful about 1:1 copy pastes because if a bitch named spy jean dujardin i dont think id survive it. if you dont know any im sure shit like le festival de cannes, the wikipedia pages on french actors/singers n shit and so on will have these easy to find

-just... pick up the french calendar with the assigned saints days. the names on here are strikingly common and you wont fuck it up like that. works the same as above minus checking if its a name at all

-be weary of "french baby names" sites. as in. sites that target english speaking audiences. just drag the baby names sites that are in french instead, theyll do the work heaps better than their american counterparts. dont forget to google anything you like ! and similarly, google the pronounciation. as a french person i can guarantee you most american medias do not know what a real french accent or french pronounciation is like, they likely mix that up with quebequois but im not sure.

-i would try to cross check info between how common a name was at a given time for babies born around whenever your oc was, its meaning, its social connotations and so on, while still remaining conscious of how it is perceived nowadays. bc ill be honest with you. do i think the name jacques for example is time relevant ? yes ! do i however inevitably think of my grandfather (+90 y/o) due to how i do not know a single person of spy's age (40-50) to have such a name ? yyyyeah.

-i would pay peculiar attention to whether a name is pompous or, on the countary, known to be brutish and unrefined, given who spy is. i would be vigilant about names that grew in popularity due to americans, as those are the ones with the worst reputation by far. If the name you picked for the bitch starts with a K, i urge you to please reconsider for example because odds are you are going Right for this (for those confused : there was a surge of children named kevin and the like after the success of home alone. this... was seen as quite lacking elegance by many, as if nowadays meeting a child named naruto in a sense.)

-check if there are jokes about said names. the name marcel for example is commonly used for jokes about truck drivers/people lacking delicateness

-the more religious the name (specifically catholic) the more spy will seem upper class, stuck up and overall shitty. i cannot speak on the matter of jewish names however for i do not know the topic, but i promise you naming that bitch melchior, balthazar or gaspard absolutely would fit if you want him to be perfectly slappable in the most refined way. remember, the french are not religious !

-please do not venture down the path of composed names unless copying those exactly. you will lack the french instinct of what can be put together and what cannot. paul-clément is gonna look like you pulled out a list from google of names and decided just putting them together would work. i also would like for bitches to not name him jean-marie due to how the french brain unfortunately has been fed with enough political drama lately to immediately follow this with le pen, and i would assume that most fanfiction writers out here would rather avoid naming spy after our local trump.

-nothing replaces simply asking for a french bitch's opinion on the matter, except for perhaps asking several french bitches. this would be better, given the regional bias and the varying experiences of every of us. pretty sure my one-hour-away-from-paris ass sure dont be crossing paths with people of names similar to the ones of bourgogne where cows lay happy in the grass and actual cool food is available locally like tasty wine and cheese

so this would summarize it, i think. i am afraid i seldom pick names for my ocs, for i am the kind of boy who just asks for his moms opinion.

#langage language #tf2 #long post #frenchosis verbosis hits again

[musigrusi]

Aight this is Pt.2 of my list, enjoy

Part 1

Farah

HABIBI MY SISTERRRR

Will cook Couscous all day every day for her istg

Inshallah may your days be forever blessed and your plans always sucessful

Mashallah

The rEAL kind of Tea Time with pine nuts and everything, fight me

Will probs bicker about different pronounciations, 10/10 tho

I will make use of all the bomb/arab jokes I have been told and rate em with her. Will also make use of my new bomb skills I learned from Soap lol.

Throwing shoe contests

Alex

I feel like he would be the kind to speak arabic with that horrible western accent

Will defo tag team with Farah to make fun of him

Will also console him when he feels bullied

"You're doing great baby, it aint your fault you are linguistically challenged. DW we still love you"

That kind of shit

Will teach him niche curse words and tell him it's a compliment

Will watch from afar how he gets decked by Farah lol

He has a crush on Farah, say what you want. And I will bully him relentlessly about it.

I will, however, be his wingman and tell him all the things she likes/dislikes. Will teach him how to cook and season AND, most importantly, how to evade the flying shoe™

Laswell

MOTHER

I wanna be adopted by her and her wife

Will chase her with adoption papers until they are signed

That is all

Thank you for comming to my TED Talk

Valeria

The love hate of siblings, but make it two sisters.

Don't touch my stuff or I will eat your liver

But also don't touch her or I will eat your liver

Will throw chanclas at her for no reason

I can see her make my blood boil by teasing and annoying me

But I would give that vibe back tenfold

Will start a new rumor abt her and Alejandro every week

Will make and execute plans to lock her and him in a room and shit like that.

Gift her a cool shirt and wait until she wears it comfortably as her PJs before telling her that it's Alejandro's

Will send video footage of her sleeping in it and then her finding out to Alejandro and all of Los Vaqueros

Roach

I don't have too much to go off of him but the mother instincts are tingling

Teach me ASL, this is not a request, thank you

I *will* mother him just as badly as Gaz and Rodolfo, if not more.

Can't handle spice? Blasphemy, but I shall make you a serving with minimal spice.

König

Strap in, this is gonna be a long one

Listen up you Austrian Fuck

Honestly, I feel kinda bad for him because,

If he speaks English, I would have a meltdown over his pronounciation

If he spoke German, I would have a laugh flash over his dialect.

There is no way he could evade my bullying

Constant bickering over whose pronounciation is correct.

Listen you fuckwhipe, it's "Brätzel" with a nice and short ä NOT "BREEEEETZEL" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CALL IT.

This would all be in good humor

Not

Will bond over mutual hate of English and American"bread" listen, i dont know what bread ever did to offend you so much to lead you down such a dark path of mutilating its recepie but pls come back to the light

Cook off, because I like Austrian dishes and I will bribe him with Maultaschen, Röschti and Fondue.

Will have him speak French for comedy (have you ever heard an Austrian speak French? You are missing out on A-tier commedy my friend)

Mutual agreed silence

The germanic awkwardness is not felt between us.

The 'tism will also be happy, 10/10

Will force it to cuddle

Horrible Schlager and Après-Ski playlists playing on enless loop just to piss him off

Will use increasingly cringey pet names on him

Mausi/Müüsli, Schatzi/Schätzeli, Schnuggeli, Gaggibolle, Pupser, Zuckerschnute, Zimtschnecke/Schnäggli, (Creme)Schnittchen, Spatzi/Späzzli, Schnuggelpupser, Hasi/Hääsli, Bärchen, Entchen

Listen I have an endless list not only in German, but Swiss German too, which is infinitely more cringe fight me

I would not be above using French and Italian terms of endearment either because, do you know how sappy they are? You'll get a stroke just hearing them

Mon bijou, Amore, mon chéri, Caro, mon âme, Tesoro, Chouchou, mon coeur *insert gagging*

Can't rlly curse him out in my dialect since there's a 85% chance he'd understand it all, but also

He could not curse me out in his dialect bc there's an 90% chance I'd understand it all lmao.

Can and will constantly complain that he is TOO DAMN BIG and promptly abuse him for whatever one can use a large strong man for.

Will compliment on said strength and revel in his subsequent shyness over the compliment.

I could see myself be overly agressive with compliments for the sole benefit of turning him beat red or very quiet.

I love Nietsche and Kafka, two german speaking authors that the majority of german speakers hate with a burning passion. Naturally, if he were bed ridden with injury or sickness, I'd read him works of the two to him.

I am such a kind and compassionate friend, am I not?

Anyways that is all lol enjoy

#könig #koenig #konig #cod mw #cod mw3 #cod #call of duty #modern warfare #valeria #los vaqueros #alex #kate laswell #laswell #gary roach sanderson #roach #gary sanderson #farah #farah karim #karim #alex keller #valeria garza

[oaxleaf]

mag 102 - nesting instinct

SOMEHOW i did not notice the bug wife stuff the first time i listened to this. i must not have been paying attention to it cause all i remembered was that it was in french. so imagine how horrified i was when i heard second hand what it was actually about. like, i don't fucking know how i didn't notice?!

but, um, yeah. this episode has a lot of classical corruption traits - a desperate ache for been loved and needed being quite prominent. personally i wouldn't fulfill that through a bug but eh. i've never been much for marriage lol. i've heard people say that the french pronounciations here kinda suck, which, based on how jonny says 'ny-ålesund' is not exactly unbelievable. still, always fun to hear statements set in places beyond england

elias is, predictably, fucking useless. i get why he's being like that but honestly this might be the most infuriating behaviour he's displayed yet - i hate him more for being frustrating than for murdering leitner tbh. stan melanie king for wanting to kill him even if at the cost of all their lives - a decision that is surprisingly much like a smaller scale version of what jon ends up doing. they are, truly, so similar. still, like always, her anger and emotions come in the way of her being able to express her quite frankly pretty rational conclusions

what do you imagine it's like working in any part of the institute that isn't the archives? do you just hear about these weirdos running around and dying? are most of them paranormal enthusiasts or academics that just couldn't find positions anywhere more reputable? they live generally pretty normal lives, right?

#tma #a mag a day #mag 102

[feardot-com]

sometimes i like to think that if the lost boys encountered someone from Quebec they’d laugh

because as québécois we don’t swear normally at all, we go “Osti de tabarnak de sacrament, de câlice de ciboire de criss de marde!” which is basically just saying fuck in different ways

i had this conversation a while ago with a friend and i love pretending that it’s one of the boys in my friends place

my friend: dude, dude, i just learnt a new french word, what does it mean?

me: what’s the word?

my friend: Tabarnet

me: do you mean tabarnack?

my friend: yeah tabarnette !! what does it mean?

me: it’s basically tabernacle, a holy word but we use it as fuck

my friend then goes up to all his friends and just yells “TABARNEK”

he never did get the pronounciation right but it was so funny

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #david lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #marko lost boys #tlb 1987 #paul lost boys #paul the lost boys #québécois are scary #french is what i speak

[whoreslut-supreme]

Actually i have a story from a couple months back cause it's funny. There was an english competition and the first elimination round was at my school, the second at the school the competition itself was in and the competition as a whole. So at the first round we just had to listen to a recording of someone reading a text and write it down. So yeah, i did that, i just wasn't sure about a single word that appeared a few times. The girl who was sitting next to me asked the teacher later what was that word, and she told us. Except. Later on, i was told that i did it perfectly. As in, no mistakes. Which means i guessed the word right. But the word the teacher gave us was different. So, by process of elimination, she must have told us the wrong word (she didn't read it from anywhere, she just told us, so i think she just said what she thought she heard). BUT WAIT there's more. The final round, so the actual competition, was different - we chose an envelope, there were ten words inside, and they got a guy who was american, so he had an accent, to read them out and we had to spell it letter by letter. Except. The guy did not know these words. And how do i know? He pronounced quite a few wrong. And this isn't me insulting him, they specifically chose words that were long, uncommon, complicated and had a lot of silent parts (i heard two that were french for some reason, but that only makes it funnier), so like, he had the full right to not know them just like that. Why didn't they give the words to him first, before the competition, so he can know what's there? No clue. They probably just had this idea and went "hey man, you're ✨american✨, so can you read them out in your ✨american accent✨ for us for a competition with monetary prizes?"

Meaning that not only did they not prepare the teachers for elimination rounds, fucked up the recording on the second elimination round (which i didn't mention, but it was a badly cut accidentally sped up, yes they said it was on accident, part of an audiobook that we had to write down on a way too small piece of paper), they didn't prepare the guy AROUND WHOM THE FINAL ROUND LITERALLY CENTERED, they also used words that aren't even english, with a non-english pronounciation, in an english competition.

So yeah, polish schools everyone. It's just exquisite how organized they are. I aspire to be like them.

[nedlittle]

for the color asks: gray and claret <3

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more?

alas i am monolingual. i took french from grades 4-10 (granted 6 of those years were mandatory) and yet i am hopeless at it. depending on the context i could maybe read a webpage or a children's book and understand the gist but i have a bit of a speech impediment which gets even worse with french bc of the pronounciation (and lack thereof). any word over 3 syllables i really have trouble with. tried relearning it last summer with duolingo for work and oh boy i was not good :( would love to be able to speak any other language. also pls note that i do not wish i could speak french out of choice it's so that i can be employable and whenever french speakers come into the lighthouse i feel bad i cannot properly communicate with them

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

again i'm really showing my ass here by being a talentless hack but i swear to god i'm like. musically illiterate. if you put any instrument in front of me i will create the worst sound you will ever heard. one time i was at a music store with friends and there was this instrument that was apparently impossible to play wrong (before you ask i do not remember what it was) and guess what i found a way to play it wrong!

my aunt has a piano so when i was a kid i would go over all the time and futz around on it but nobody ever thought about teaching me even though it was RIGHT THERE so i can't even really do a scale + could only play with my right hand because i have no coordination and my left hand is functionally useless in everything anyway + sheet music is like hieroglyphics to me so if i wanted to play maybe three bars of edelweiss i'd have to have my aunt write out the letters for the notes which were also labelled on a piece of slidy cardboard above the keys and even then i was bad. it didn't help that two or three of the keys were broken and it was probably out of tune when i was a child so the sound was weird. i have a vivid memory of being a kid and getting a black eye from a stocking holder falling on my face and then blacking the other eye literally the next day because i went over to my aunt's and the piano lid fell on my face somehow.

i tried to learn flute in grade 7 because we were required to choose from flute, trumpet, clarinet, and trombone and i had to stay inside for recess because i was SOOOO bad at even making sound let alone trying to read the music. most stressful experience of my life. wish my parents had decided i needed to learn an instrument to build character because i think if i learned young enough when my brain was still elastic i'd actually be able to do something but alas :/ my favourite instrument is the cello so in an ideal world i would play the cello but i think if i had to actually choose an instrument i would choose violin because dude my fucked up back could not handle hunching over a cello all day and my arms are too weak to carry one.

#thank you for coming to my essay about why i'm so bad at music i guess #genuinely it is a talent in itself at this point #anonymous #answered #long post