#This makes 20 whole months of this garbage. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

payasita · 7 months

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Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.

#personal #anyway thanks for the kind words anon #i am going to go lie down #ADHD #long post

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ourdawnishotterthanourday · 9 months

Text

ANNOUNCEMENT — SEVENTEEN World

✧ The second chapter — Melon Pang! (Coming soon!!)

— CEO au, optional SMUT [18+], fluff, angst, slow-burn, strangers to lovers; word count: 10k+ (but based on the storyline probably closer to 20-30k lol)

💼 Part of the SEVENTEEN World Series ღ I advise you to read the prologue and Wonwoo's chapter first :) ✎ Really couldn't wait to share this teaser with you all!!!! But please note that it may take a while for me to publish the actual chapter since I still have a lot to write and I really want it to be perfect :') But I will (hopefully) publish some smaller projects while you wait for the chapter ^^

Barista!reader x Managing CEO Choi Seungcheol ~ The last thing Seungcheol expected was to argue with a random stranger in a bakery after an awfully stressful day. But how could he not when this person was about to take the last melon pan? You were in a similar position. Your boss had been nagging you non-stop at work and all you wanted was your favorite snack, followed by a movie marathon on the couch. Instead, you find yourself having to deal with this stubborn guy who thinks the whole world is his.

Preview

“Excuse me?” You turned around at the sound of a male voice, assuming that he was talking to you since the bakery was pretty much empty at this hour.

“Can I help you?” you asked wearily, raising your eyebrows at the blond man that had approached you – the mask he was wearing covered most of his face, so it was hard to get a read on him. And seeing as you’d gone through your fair share of uncomfortable encounters with strangers, it was only natural for you to have your guard up.

To your surprise, he pointed towards the hand that was holding the snack you were planning on buying. “Would you mind giving me that melon pan? I really need it tonight,” he spoke.

Your weary expression slowly morphed into a confused one as you raised the sweet bread slightly. “This...melon pan?” you asked, wondering where this was going.

The stranger nodded. “Yes, that one. I just got off from work and I’ve had a pretty rough day, so I need it. It’s my favorite snack and I’m not planning to leave the store without it.”

You almost wanted to laugh at the audacity of this guy. As if you would hand it over just because he supposedly ‘needed’ it. It wasn’t your problem that you'd been faster.

“Well, it happens to be my favorite snack too and I’ve also had a pretty rough day, so no. I’m not giving it to you.”

“Oh, come on. What’s it going to take? Name your price,” he motioned before reaching into his pocket to pull out what you assumed was his wallet. What the hell was he doing?

“I just told you, I’m not giving you this melon pan,” you responded firmly – your free hand automatically squeezed into a fist as you tried to keep your blood pressure under control. Getting into an argument with some random stranger was not part of the relaxing evening you’d planned.

“And I said, name your price. Everyone has one. How much do you want for it? Fifty thousand won? A hundred thousand? More? Just tell me. Money is not an issue here,” he shrugged nonchalantly, his wallet now wide open for you to see.

His outrageous proposition left you in a state of awe. The disgust was no doubt evident on your face, but he didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Are you seriously trying to bribe me for a fucking melon pan?!”

Judging by the way he was dressed, you were pretty certain that the guy was loaded – the combination of the dark brown suit and black coat he was wearing probably cost more than what you earned in a whole month.

Still, that didn’t give him the right to treat others like garbage.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He didn’t. “You have something that I want. You’re not giving it to me, so I’m offering you an alternative that will make both of us happy,” he stated, completely oblivious to the fact that he was coming off as an entitled asshole.

“You are so unbelievably rude,” you scoffed. “I’ve never met anyone as ignorant and entitled as you. Just wow. If that’s how you treat people in your life, then you probably don’t have many friends.”

It was clear that your words had struck a nerve when the shameless stranger narrowed his eyes in response. “I’m rude? I think you are pretty rude to someone who’s just trying to reason with you. Trust me, if you had any idea who I was, you wouldn’t be speaking to me like that.”

Oh look, he’s a narcissist too...surprising.

“Listen, mister whatever-your-name-is. I’m going to say this one time. I don’t give two shits about who you are and I’m not giving you my melon pan, so you can keep your damn money. Now, I’m going to walk away, pay for my snack and leave so that this,” you motioned between the two of you, “doesn’t escalate into something worse. Have a good life,” was the last thing you said before rushing towards the checkout.

Your blood was boiling by the time you left the store. The whole encounter with the rude stranger had put another damper on your mood, leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth. Because just who the fuck did he think he was? And what kind of weirdo would try to bribe someone for a melon pan?

You truly hoped to never see him again.

☀ if you want to be added to the tag list, leave a comment or send me an ask, but be sure to mention that it's for the SEVENTEEN World Series! ✎ Make sure to enable the MATURE community label if you want to read the SMUT!!!!

☀ Tag list: @multiplums @hipsdofangirl @brrrkdslek @sonybear40 @omyeol @matchahyuck @bumblebreanna @haneulparadx @queentoriasworld @letsimagineyouandme @jadesniall @kimingyuslover @lockburn-castle @celestialkmg @shinetogether17 @i-dont-give-a-fok @minhui896 @miraes-world @bmkgemz @6969lilithcat @hopefulchick @yoonguurt @fantasies-of-a-bookworm @xiaoting999 @yearnoclock @mingyucookies @itswaffleberry @strxbrymilkkuu @kwonhoeshi @honeywonuu @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @nomnom2001

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

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Am I the asshole if I pointed tell my dad, who chased me out of getting help in my teens, about an autoimmune disease that has a possibility of killing me and that part of it is his fault?

I'll make this short, my dad (58M, 6'4") has never believed that I (26F, 5'6") have anything wrong with me and that I am willfully lazy/forgetful/overexaggerate pain. To give you an idea, I have ASD and ADHD and my Dr's have been struggling to find the answers for my joints. To him, I was the "perfect" child and I couldn't have problems. I had to be the one to go to school, I had to be the one to do everything right. Between him and I, he was always right. If ever I felt hurt by him, he would spin the conversation around in a way so that it was always my fault. Even down to house chores, he would make everything my fault. For example, I didn't eat for a week and he filled the sink with his dishes and then screamed at me that they were mine. I have also dislocated a shoulder to my dominant arm and was in a sling. At this time, he told me to pick up a 40lb garbage bag and take it outside. I obviously couldn't do it with only one arm. It hurt and I was terrified of dislocating my other arm. I had a meltdown in garage about how I had to ask him for help because I couldn't do it. I knew he would yell at me to "get stronger" and that its my own fault. Lo and behold, that's exactly what happened when I went inside. I asked him if he wanted me to hurt myself. He responded by yelling at me that I already did. It's because of this constant abuse that I finally moved across the country and moved in with an online friend I'd had for many years who is now my fiancee. So for those worried, I am in a safe place with a man who cares so much about me. He supports me and understands how very real all my problems are. He takes good care of me. Which, he's also part of the reason I have been able to bring myself to go to the Dr to begin with.

Now, for the problem at hand. I have had joint pain starting in my hands since I was a teen. It got bad enough I had complained to my whole family until my grandmother told my dad to take me to the Dr. So I went to the Dr and then after three visits I had to stop because my dad verbally attacked me about "when I would be done" and that he couldn't afford it. So i stopped. Well, I didn't go back to get treated for anything until recently in my mid 20s. My pain has spread to my whole body over the last 10 years. I am in an ungodly amount of agony. I've dislocated bones repeatedly. My bones lock up and constantly crack and pop. Exercise is very difficult. It was never treated till I got insurance through my work in the last year. Well we have narrowed down what we think I have. It's an autoimmune disorder that deteriorates the joints and makes it very easy to dislocate my limbs. If I have a specific version of this disorder, this thing could possibly effect my heart and the muscles that make my heart beat. Aka, my heart could just *stop* in my 40s/50s. I'm going on vacation with my narcissistic father in a month and I want to sit him down with my eldest brother, who has always had my back, and explain to them the situation. I want my brother there to keep me safe during the conversation. I kind of want to drill into him that part of this problems expansion is his fault as he stopped me from going as a teen and he bullied me out of going to the Dr unless I thought it was "serious" and I was "dying." It's not just to hurt him but to give myself the satisfaction of telling him that all the times he told me I was a liar and overexaggerating my pain? My pain was real. I want him to know I've been hurting. Because the only one he would ever believe about my problems would be a Dr, that he'd not let me see or discouraged me from seeing. I was a broke kid who he then later dumped off of his insurance because I had to use it more than him. And despite him having all these problems requiring surgery in his own body, he believed I was lying about being unable to do the same things he can. If yall need more info and examples, I'd be down to add another ask. Just, would I be an asshole? Is it petty, or justice in finding my own peace? And if anyone has any advice, i would like to have ideas of how to go about this. Thank you all for reading.⭐️

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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magicbratt · 1 year

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hi!!

idk if you're taking requests, but my greedy self was wondering if you could write hcs for the Aarons with a fem s/o who is a little on the curvy side... if you could do sfw AND nsfw, that would be 👌

AARON Z AND AARON T WITH A CURVY GIRLFRIEND

cw/stuff: suggestive, nsfw & Aaron z's under the cut, fem/afab reader, bit of cuss words, switches between third and 2nd person sorry if that makes u upset

Aaron T (sfw but slightly suggestive)

He’s definitely infatuated (as he would be with any body type his s/o would have)

But he cannot for the life of him, take his hands of you. Always touching you.

Gripping your thigh whenever your sitting down, hands cupping your ass whenever you hug him, even massaging your boobs whenever you guys cuddle and burries is face in them

cant help but always be touching his pretty girlfriend </3

Aaron is def big on fashion (proved by manga too). But one thing about him? He was thinks everything looks GREAT on you. No matter what you’re wearing he’s throwing compliments at you and taking 1000 pictures to add to his album of you

Could be wearing a garbage bag, he thinks it looks fucking amazing on you

But does absolutely love it when you dress up all fancy.

There’s gotta be one time where his gf wore a skin tight dress that hugged her curves and he just didn’t know what to do with himself..

Had the band looking for you two because you both suddenly disappeared to the bathroom for a while 🫢

Aaron would wanna come shopping with you even if you insist it’s gonna take you a while to pick clothes. He just wants to help and get that bonus of the little fashion show you give him so he could another hundred pictures to his collection

On the topic of your pictures, this is literally him:

One of the millions of pictures he keeps of you is his phone lock screen and he changes the photo like 10x a day cause he just keeps taking new pics of you (you're too gorgeous) :'((

He thinks your so pretty that he’s thinking about buying more phones just so he can have multiple lock screens of you

he was so serious about it too.

Aaron's aware whenever you go out people are gonna be looking at you. Of course they would! His girlfriend is the definition of perfection!!

He shows you off so proudly and slightly teases all the others that want you but CAN"T have you😛

Not afraid to fight at all. One time a paparazzi told you to “shake some ass for the camera” and you had to push T away from them even though he kept insisting he just wanted to “talk” to the guy (his clenched fists said otherwise)

Loves to wear full body matching outfits with you and even posts them to his insta story like a little photoshoot. Y'all:

He loves his gf so much he won’t shut up about you

Especially on social media

Always reposting your stuff, tweeting about how lucky he is, making those cringey couple tiktoks (like that lipstick trend going around right now where the person A messes up their lipstick and it cuts to person B with kiss marks all over), it's so cute.

And R.I.P to any hate comments about you or how you look.

He WILL go to said persons page and clown em. Will also take the time and effort to find tweets or tiktoks they did whether a month ago or 3 years ago.

He'll put in all the effort for you.

Aaron ❤️’s his bbg

NSFW

T lets you know how much he loves his s/o. Verbally and physically.

While he is hasty with things, he tries to take his time with you. So he takes the role of eating you out very seriously. In fact he'd surprisingly enough finds more pleasure in having his nose and tongue in her folds rather than having HER suck him off

Offers to prep her with his tongue every time. And Aaron gets so into it at times and thinks that she just tastes so nice that he totally loses track of space and time and the world (you’re his world tho😉)

His whole mind and body its just so occupied with eating you out that he doesn't realize he's had his face in your pussy for almost 20 minutes now and you're on the track to your fourth orgasm :((

He didn't even notice your hands lightly trying to push his head away because he's so good at what he does and you're already feeling overstimmed </3

Def a 'messy eater'. He's just so drunk off you he's trying his best not to get the sheets too wet from your juices and his drool. And he's trying to lick up everything and its js too much

And one thing about T? He WANTS you to sit on his face. PLEASE let him!! He is BEGGING!!!

He just wants to be suffocated under your ass, oh my, he would love to perish that way.

If you let him do that, he is not letting go of your legs. Cause now he's REAL into it. He's gripping your thighs so hard you can barley even lift yourself off him and he has to apologize after for the faint finger marks he left

T prolly rlly likes your tits so he might enjoy cowgirl, but he has to be sitting up so he has easy access to groping his favorite pair of boobies and he can bury is face in them the same way he does when y'all cuddle. (++he can grip your ass)

And he enjoys hickeys. On you AND him.

He's leaving marks on your thigh before he digs in (😉) and SO MANY bites on your chest because he's just so obsessed with those two mounds omg

He will maybe have to try and cover them for publicity and his PR team said so or sum. (He sneakily leaves a visible one on his neck so he can start a scandal on twitter lol)

kneels, cries, and confesses his sins to ur pussy🧎

AARON Z (sfw)

Z loves you. Every bit of you (real)

He just can’t help but stare at you sometimes. You’re so effortlessly beautiful ya know? (and maybe he also kinda likes the way your butt jiggles when you walk away)

Have a feeling he just looks at you sometimes. Just so mesmerized buy the sight of ol’ pretty you. Sometimes it might seem creepy cause you’ll be sleeping and you wake up to him just staring at you while your both in bed. (and maybe he does wake up a little earlier so he can get the chance to take in your gorgeous resting face)

Just has to take in that you’re really his. HIS s/o

Openly invites you to sit in his lap. Doesn’t vocally say it but he lightly drags you to his legs when you were aiming for the spot on the couch next to him. And even when you’re already sitting next to him, Z kinda just inches you towards his lap with the arm he has on your waist. And sometimes he just gestures to his lap when you’re looking for a seat.

His hands find their way to your waist in a lot of situations. That’s one of the few PDA’s he’ll do. Lowkey likes it better than hand holding just because he feels like you’re in a more protective stance rather than hand holding. (and it outwardly shows that you’re his to any scheming onlookers)

So walking through the mall, sitting down, at a party, or anywhere. People will find Z with his hand placed where it’s home is, right on his gfs waist <3

Prolly (most definitely) used his girlfriends butt as a pillow when they’re lying down in bed. She would just be sitting in bed scrolling through tiktok and then almost drop her phone out her hand cause Z playfully nipped her right ass cheek. (she’d pinch his nose and tell him to quit it and he’s like “yeah m’ sorry ofc ml” but then he does it again 5 min later..he thinks it’s HILARIOUS peak comedy in his eyes)

Definitely an ass guy so is thrilled whenever you choose to wear something tight fitting that makes your backside pop out. Not in a perverted way, but more of like a loving boyfriend type beat 🥰 (lol)

Z works out so whenever you decide to go out with him he’s trynna subtly fend off all the other people eyeing you by giving them glares (scary dog bf type vibes)

Helps you do workouts, like one of those types who would hold your feet when you do sit ups, stand behind you when you do squats (he’s not looking at your ass, don’t question it, he’s def just helping out!! 😛) and help you lift weights

Also likes you watching him workout. He just wants to look good for you so, hey, if you think his abs look nice when he’s sweating, who is he to call you out on the “eyes” your giving him? He’ll just be a bit smug about it in his head for now and you two will have fun at home later (or maybe in the car if his gf just can’t keep her hands to herself😞)

He doesn’t care about what social media thinks of your relationship much (he only rlly cares about you) so isn’t worried about any hate comments cause he simply doesn’t look at them

But if he happens to stumble across one like:

@/curlyheadbri: is it just me or is aaron z’s gf all plastic?? that bbl looks HORRID, she needs get herself togetherr 😂 #herwholebodyistotsplastic

or; @/prettyboyjay: that kid arlnod z or whtv don’t deserve that fine ass woman😍, she needa real man like me. i can take that lil boy out in a second he can’t fight

The block button is so easy to click for him 😚 (and if @/prettyboyjay wants to throw hands Z can throw hands for his lady 😂 he don’t mind)

Only time he really goes on social media is to like your posts, comment a: 🖤💜 (maybe post a funny video of you two on his secret account) and leave.

His lock screen is probably you kissing him on the cheek when you both were out on a dessert date and he just stares at it sometimes. Like he’ll turn on his phone just to look at the pic for like 5 min and then turns it back off. (sometimes tae will catch this and be so confused like; “why was he looking at the time for so long?”)

Have a feeling you to have some matching pieces of clothes, like matching shirts or hats or some element.

Like maybe one time you were wearing that “HOT PERSON AT WORK” shirt in blue and posted a tiktok. And then like a week later an interview with 4town came out (maybe like hot wings or sum) and he was wearing the same shirt but maybe in black

And people were making edits on tiktok ab it was prolly so cute. (can imagine someone making those “fake beef” ones and the comments are like “the fight bud wass crazyyy”

And you ABSOLUTELYY have matching pajamas. Like a black tank top and those red plaid pj pants (i think i got this idea from some other 4town acc)

But yeah Z is his gf’s man 4L

NSFW

From popular belief and as already mentioned before, Z likes ass. No doubt ab it. So it’s common to find your face buried into the pillow and fingers clawing at the sheets (that are sticking to your skin cause how much you’re sweating </3) as your boyfriend is pounding into you from behind while gripping your hips so tight you hope it doesn’t leave any marks :(

Or using his legs as support as you bounce like an animal in heat in the ‘reverse cowgirl’ position as his hands are in their usual place on your waist while he gives your butt an occasional little smack (not a hard one, just one where he can see your ass recoil)

He just loves to see your ass jiggle it’s so mesmerizing to him it’s like an optical illusion he loves it

But worry not he loves seeing the way your beautiful face looks during the deed as well.

Z’s strong. so him being able to hold you up against the wall while he thrusts into you is no suprise. And he’s so gonna just look at you like he always does; with absolute puppy-sick love eyes. He just stares at you while kissing your forehead or cheek a few times and your way too into his dick that you really don’t remember the last time you saw him blink.

And he just whispers into your ear about how much he fucking loves you. and how wonderful and pretty you are. (and how you feel so good)no matter how rough or soft the sex session is

And Z would love to hear it back. He would love to hear about how good he makes you feel, and how much you love your handsome hard-working boyfriend, or how you love that he takes care of you so well (could go for a non sexual setting as well)

Z’s never mean to you..except maybe sometimes. sometimes he just wants to tease you, ya know? he lives for that pouty look you give him when he prods at your entrance with his dick and doesn’t stick it in right away. or when you gasp suddenly because he nipped your neck playfully in the shower. He’ll do whatever you desire, eventually..he just wants to kid with you a bit first. forgive him!! he can’t help it, you’re too cute with your adorable reactions

He’ll try his best to satisfy you even when he’s too tired or busy to do the deed. If he’s exhausted from dance practice and you’re in the mood? He can put his fingers to work you. Or better yet, you can use him. He’ll lay down and let you bounce on him to your hearts desire, he’s so sorry he couldn’t do much but he’d rather die then let his girl go unsatisfied.

And your bf Z will give you a proper fuck in the morning after he’s regained his energy <3

4town Aaron sketches:

#4town #4town x reader #4town headcanons #4town aaron z #turning red #4town aaron t #4town aaron z x reader #4town aaron t x reader #Aaron z #Aaron t #sorry for the wait #turning red x reader #4towns biggest fan

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ask-serendipity-sky · 7 months

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https://twitter.com/henjiku1975/status/1706807847294550143?t=digyXOeg6b3-sroR3lpYag&s=19

Thoughts on this but it's giving major gaslighting where army chants this to make them feel better and project the solos are bad narrative, like don't get me wrong but I would rather associate myself with pjms instead of army like those jm solos were not joking like they managed to close that big of a gap in a small time and still keeps his music charting with no other support either from the fandom or the company...

https://x.com/henjiku1975/status/1706807847294550143?s=20

youtube

Hi anon,

I have thoughts on this. I had seen bits of it before but watching it all makes it so much worse. It's garbage.

This person made a whole video to gaslight people into thinking that what happened to Jimin and others is normal. She blames it on the target audience and the type of promotion.

According to her, the only problem that Jimin had was not paying for radio...which is illegal and not something BTS would do. She never talked about the things that happened to Jimin's album like separating the 2 versions of Like Crazy, Hanteo deletions, albums not being shipped on time, etc.

But she did say that Jimin had to have 9 days of promo because Suga needed to enlist...but it took him 6 months?

There is no sabotage, no shady practices, no unfairness, no payola. Just a different intended audience and that's why things didn't work out.

She never focused on the fact that ONE member is receiving much more support than the other six. Jk and Yoongi are probably her biases. They have gotten things served in a golden platter.

She sounds a whole lot like the people who come to my blog to rant about me hating BTS, that I'm a Jk anti, Jimin akgae, etc, and that solos will never win over army and all that purple goodness. Army garbage.

I'm with you. Although I'm not a fan of labels, I have no problem being called a pjm because that is literally a "fan of Jimin". It's what I am. I have no problem doing what pjm fanbases say because it's better than what army is doing.

Solos are not the bad people. Akgaes are. But like I said back when I first opened this blog, the lines have blurred and people can no longer recognize between the two words and use them interchangeably.

If you are a fan of labels, you should remember this: solo =/= akgae.

Solo is a fan who focuses entirely on their bias.

Akgae is a problematic fan who focuses on their bias and HATES everyone else.

There is nothing wrong with focusing on just what you like. Its normal human behavior. The mentality that you have to like everything and everyone is flawed and impossible.

Army keeps painting pjms as the bad people because army has a problem with Jimin. Even here on tumblr, I'm called a solo and akgae because I obviously bias Jimin when there are other accounts that have a very obvious bias and they don't get called out. Because only Jimin biased people are problematic to army.

Army is simply not appreciative of Jimin enough for me. They ignore him. They allow him to be the reason for jokes and disgusting accusations. They sexualize him. They don't stop the hateful poison from tkkrs and other solos. They use him as a cheerleader and accessory. They blame him. They view him as weak and he is only useful to them when fighting other fandoms.

They bully their own member. They rather have anyone else other than Jimin.

Why in the world would any Jimin fan want to associate with them?

Like you said, the moment Jimin fanbases got organized, we started closing the gap. It WILL get done and he WILL get that award.

It won't be because of army. It will be because of pjms, primarily, and other Jimin fans.

But when he gets that award, everyone will be posting pretty Jimin and how proud they are to be his fan.

This fandom is a joke.

Thank you for sharing.

#jimin #jikook

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fakeboitherottengirl · 7 months

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I’m prolly going to make a donation post for my friend soon because she’s stranded in a for-profit shelter that literally provides slave labor to the DOL offices in exchange for a bed and she had no fridge or stove and her roommates steal and she is relapsing really bad into disordered eating because she has an avoidant disorder related to her autism that makes most cooked food taste disgusting especially microwaved food so she’s literally starving I just have to get permission to share her PayPal and I’ll make the post but she’s a non drug user (other than occasionally weed which she uses medicinally and her prescribed sleeping pills which were stolen her first night there), she’s a young mother of 2 children who she’s trying to find stable living for so they can be a family again, she’s a human trafficking survivor and a dv survivor and is disabled (autism, BPD, and a digestive condition) she had a job until she was laid off due to seasonal cutbacks and nobody will hire her because her autism impacts her speech so people at interviews think she’s dumb because she speaks slowly and has a little bit of a processing lag (she is actually HIGHLY intelligent but struggles with memory and communication). I know there’s no way that online charity is going to get her housed or get her kids back but anything you could spare just so she could get a nutritious meal would help just so she has a little bit of hope to survive through until the next day. She doesn’t want to go back to sex work and wants to write a memoir about her time being trafficked but unless she has at least one good meal a day she’s going to have no energy to tell her story. She also has serious allergies to pesticides and certain preservatives so she has to buy organic produce but literally even if it is $2 so she can go buy an apple she needs any help she can get. All who donate will receive a free ebook of her memoir when it is released. Also block the tags if you do not want to see this post because once I get her PayPal I will be reblogging it daily I don’t mean to spam it is just so important that she gets help. Will be reblogging with her PayPal when she gives me the link. Like I said anything at all helps, her entire family turned their back on her because she didn’t go to college (she has a learning disability and academia is not set up to accommodate autistic people but they just care about appearances) her mother abandoned her in favor of her partner and her father is a delusional cokehead boomer who thinks she can “pull herself up by the bootstraps” she’s been homeless for almost 5 years not and just finally got a bed in a shelter and it is a for profit shelter so they are trying to charge her $700 a month to stay there (either that or work 20 hours a week unpaid at a government office which means she wouldn’t have an opportunity to look for paying work) this whole situation is so shameful and horrific she escaped so much only to be left with the clothes on her back and a garbage bag full of belongings in a horrible living situation some fruit or a muffin or some iced coffee would totally change her day so like I said even if it is a tiny amount it makes a difference. This is America when you have a disability.

#donation post #mutual aid #please donate #actually autistic #actually disabled

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copperbadge · 2 years

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Hi Sam! (If you have the time/spoons!) What did you do to get ready for Dearborn and Polk to arrive in your home? I am adopting cats for the first time as an adult and I am so nervous about not having the right stuff for them and not being prepared.

Even if you could point me in the direction of decent resources, I would really appreciate it! As a fellow ADHDer, I am hoping you might have some more neurodiverse friendly advice and I've seen how well you take care of the cryptids so I feel I can trust your judgement.

You're awesome either way! 🧡

Eyy, congratulations on your upcoming adoption! I felt very similar, like I was unprepared and nervous about it, even though I did my best. Just be ready to do some extra spending in the first few days after they come home -- buying supplies you didn't think of or extras of stuff they really like. You really have to get to know them first. And give yourself permission to not be perfect (for example, my cats eat junk-food kibble, but it's what they'll eat and they're so tiny that any way I can get food into them is good, so Meow Mix it is).

I think the most important thing really is to start with the bare bones to find out what your specific kitties like. For example, I got two beds, a nice soft plush fluffy $20 bed and a Sulk Gourd made of like, $2 felt. Guess which one they wouldn't go near! I ended up using the fluffy bed to keep them off of furniture I didn't want them to jump on because they avoided it so hardcore. So I'd start out with really basic stuff -- a couple of toys, 2-3 kinds of cheap bed, basic food/water dishes, and see what your little ones prefer.

I do want to point out that I didn't know I had ADHD when I adopted the cryptids; it wasn't even on my radar yet, as it would be a year or two later. That said, I still had coping mechanisms. I did look at cat ownership and think "What are the most unpleasant parts of this going to be?" and tried to mitigate those -- I know myself and I know it would be hardest to do the unpleasant parts, so I wanted to make those parts as easy as possible. I wanted to be sure I could give them the care and love they deserve.

For me, there were two major concerns: I didn't want them eating anything they shouldn't, and I was worried I'd forget to scoop the litter, or avoid doing it because it's stinky. For the former, I just went through the house and picked up anything I thought might hurt them; I bought a few containers and put stuff like sharp objects, string/thread, plastic, etc in the containers. I kept an eye on them when they came home to make sure they wouldn't chew any wires (Polk tried, but I wrapped double-sided tape around it and that stopped her).

For the latter, the "how often can I make myself scoop the litter" concern, I bought an Omega Paw "rolling" litterbox. You just roll it onto its lid, roll it back, and pull out a tray where all the poop ends up, which you can dump into the garbage (I have a bin specifically for dumping litter, which I double-bag and empty about once a week). This was fine for a while, but they both love to "garden" in the litterbox, so eventually I replaced it with a vertical box (they have to jump in through the top) to cut down on how much litter I had to sweep up. It's actually less work to scoop it every night than it was to sweep up litter constantly, and I'm spending like $20 less a month on litter. (You are supposed to have one litterbox per cat plus one spare, but mine are bonded and prefer to share litterboxes, plus my apartment is small, and so are they.) If this is a concern for you I might also suggest something like the Kitty Poo Club that sends you a new box with litter crystals in it each month; it didn't work for me because again, the litter got kicked everywhere and those little crystals are FUCKING SHARP, but it's an option.

Lastly, because I knew it might take them a while to feel safe, I deliberately left spaces in my home where they could hide -- they have a whole labyrinth under my bed where they can run around between storage boxes, there's space behind one sofa, there's some little cubbyholes in the bathroom, etc. I wanted to be sure that if they felt scared or unsafe they could go to ground somewhere that I controlled, rather than trying to, say, squeeze behind the stove or something, where they might get hurt. They didn't use them often, but once in a while something would scare them and at least this way I could see where they hid. And so I could leave them alone until they were ready to come out again.

Good luck with your incoming cryptids! Get a bonded pair if you can -- they're sweet and they keep each other entertained. :D

#dearborn and polk #sam has adhd

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littleblackbooksims · 2 years

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Nightingale Sims just made a very weird statement, she didn't understand anything, or she is just toxic like the others (she does early acess)

Hey, let's talk?

For those who don't understand anything, follow the end of the post I'll leave some links explaining the situation!

So... Let's go!

The following is! Like all creators, or most of them here on patreon, I survive with your subscription! I'll be very direct, because I really have everything to lose, if this all comes to an end!

I see a lot of comments about this whole situation involving the new content trading policy for TS4 and I really never thought it would get to this point! People wishing you doom, laughing as if it were something banal, but it means the food of many of us! This is so dirty, I couldn't believe how ROTTEN these people are!

From EA I already expected the worst, although, in my naive mind, I didn't have the "worst" parameter to imagine how dirty they could be for us!

To those who support this new EA policy bullshit, my heartfelt fuck you!

We never force you to subscribe to our content! I have never shared exclusive content! And never would! But your greedy little ass couldn't wait 15/20 days to get the content publicly, could it? Well, fuck you! I can't thank you guys, I never had your support, I didn't have a penny from you in the food I ate during the month and not even in my household bills, you guys are trash! And I'm just referring to you guys who are celebrating with all this shit, who are happy to take the shit out of the right that made me have enough to eat every day, who made me buy my computer so I could work harder. YOU! GO FUCK YOU!

To everyone who has supported me during these 2 years of patreon, THANK YOU SO MUCH! They made me feel fulfilled for being able to work with what made me happy, with what I liked to do! I never thought this was possible, and it was! All Thanks to you!

I don't know what it will be like from now on, I don't know if I'll be able to offer my content publicly since I'll have to find a way to make money or I'll have to sell everything I can to continue surviving with a minimum!

I'll be sharing my content this month only and depending on how this snowball behaves, we'll be back in the following months. If things get any worse, I'll be giving myself an ultimatum that The Sims is no longer for me! The community is inhumane garbage and those that are worth it are few!

Again, thank you very much! I'll keep you posted throughout the week!

Apparently this post was already deleted but what is with these creators insulting their supporters? Not everyone can financially support you! It doesn’t mean they don’t like, share or recommend your content. Insulting them doesn’t change anything. This also completely glosses over the fact that we had a serious problem in this community with doxxing and permanent paywalls. EA didn’t put out a help article because people were complaining about Early Access. It was because of crazy stuff paywallers were doing. Today apparently is the day of unhinged posts from Early access creators good lord.

#sims 4 #paywalling #ask #sims 4 cc #paywalls #lbbsims #littleblackbooksims #simslittleblackbook

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starrystrawb · 15 days

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Up next in our Mother Nature series, Earth Shaker! I thought it would be fun to make it look like she was made from tectonic plates. I imagine her hair and coat move and shift much like the plates we live on. In a couple days time, her coat will have changed pattern and color, and her mane and tail will be entirely new.

On to our tips!

1. Water conservation is a great way to help the earth if you're able. Don't get me wrong, still bathe and stay hydrated! But watering the lawn and washing your car can probably wait. Depending on where you live, you may be able to collect rain water in rain barrels as well! As always, friends, check your local laws and regulations! And practice safe water usage and storage. NEVER drink water before sanitizing it properly, and ALWAYS make sure your water is sealed and stored safely to make sure you don't attract pests!

2. If you have the room, consider planting native flora! Pollinators love all sorts of plants, and making sure you're planting things native to your area can ensure you don't accidentally invite non-native species to the ecosystem! If you have a massive garden, or just a little pot, it all helps our pollinators and our ecosystems to have local and native plants!

3. Walk/Bike/carpool places! I know it's a bit over done, and for some people, it's just not really doable. But I still feel like it's worth mentioning. Walking, biking, carpooling, or using public transport can be a great way to help out! If you (like me) don't really have the option to take public transit, walk, or bike places, consider doing as much as you can in as few trips as possible! And remember, friends! Your 20 minute solo-drive to work is NOT the big issue! The millionaires taking 13 minute private jet flights are!

4. Speaking of cars! Did you know keeping your car in tip-top shape can help get more miles per gallon? Some tire shops will check and inflate your tires for free! Make sure to keep an eye on your tires, too. Low tread can be dangerous! And properly cared for tires can help you make the most of the gas in your tank! Rotate your tires when needed (if you're not sure, some tire shops will check your tires for pretty cheep, if not for free), keep your tires properly inflated for the season, and stay safe!

5. Be. Patient. With yourself. Do not expect to cut your waste down to nothing in a week, or even a month. Those influencers you see, who have had a SINGLE piece of waste for a whole year have not only been at this for a long, long time. But they have also made it their jobs to be good at this! Strive for progress, not perfection. I still buy sodas in plastic bottles, sometimes I forget my reusable cup, and sometimes I am just too tired to remember my reusable bags. None of this makes me bad. None of this makes me the villain. It makes me human! Doing your personal best, even if it's just taking the stairs or holding the door open or just breathing! Is ENOUGH! You are enough! And provided you are not dumping toxic waste in to the everglades, or pouring oil into the seas, or throwing a rager on the Eastern Garbage Patch, you're probably doing alright, friend.

Base

#digital art #drawing #procreate #mlp #my little pony #friendship is magic #earth month #base edit #base art #mother nature #earth day

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in-sufficientdata · 8 months

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At the source, the thread continues: This does not mean all your medical care is then covered by insurance. Nope, not even close. Most doctors visits have a co-pay, meaning you pay this to even be seen. It's anywhere from $20 to $200 depending on emergencies. Insurance also requires you to pay a deductible before they kick in. So let's say your deductible is $1000. That means for each visit, you owe $1000 before they start covering. But they "negotiate" with hospitals, so an MRI out of pocket might cost $5000, but through insurance only costs $400, so you pay $400.

After awhile, there is a "max out of pocket" which means you pay $20,000 out of pocket for all these little visits and then insurance will cover anything further 100% for the year.

Oh, but insurance doesn't cover everything. They agree to certain exclusions... like maybe they don't cover an ambulance ride or only partially cover major dental. Oh and they typically don't cover regular dental or eye care at all (that's a different insurance you buy).

And the insurance only negotiates with certain doctors and clinics... so if you don't use them they only cover your care 50% instead of 80% and the deductibles are higher.

But, if you get hospitalized, the insurance might cover the facility and nurses, but the doctors can be out of network, so you have to pay more without any say in the matter. And medical facilties, even ERs, can just choose not to take any insurance. It isn't a requirement they take it.

Now for prescriptions and treatments. So, let's say you do everything right. You use all in-network doctors and facilities, pay your money, so you should be good?

Nope.

Insurance companies can step in and dictate your care.

So let's say you bang up your knee and need an MRI plus surgery. The doctor agrees and you agree, but the insurance company says "No, you need physical therapy first." So in order to have the MRI plus surgery covered, you now need to go through months of physical therapy before it will be approved. You could always just pay outside of insurance, but now you are paying $12k of your money instead of $3k and months of pain.

There are plenty of other caveats too that I didn't even cover.

So basically, you can have medical insurance, get into a major accident, and still go bankrupt because I don't know many people with $40k just lying around.

But politicians and insurance lobbyists keep telling us we should be grateful to only have to pay that $40k instead of hundreds of thousands of dollars!

And remember, even if you are perfectly healthy and need just a checkup, you are paying $10,400 every year anyway.

Medical insurance in the US is a billion dollar profit industry. It is also complete and utter garbage.

Oh and keep in mind.... NONE of this is taught in schools or anywhere. This is knowledge I've gained completely on my own. And this barely scratches the surface of how complicated this system is.

You think the majority of Americans understand how insurance works?

I like how there isn't any arguing in this giant thread. Just people coming together with angry and sad resignations that the US health insurance system is a giant trash fire.

Lots of people have asked why people living in the US just accept this system. It's pretty easy: classism, racism, ableism, and sexism.

You see, everyone pays the same for insurance at a company. You think the CEO making billions is going to experience that $400 per pay period the same as the junior employee making $30k per year?

On top of that, the Black and other minority communities are more likely to have claims denied or receive lesser care because insurance companies won't pay as much for their care. If they can even get insurance coverage to begin with (a whole other issue).

Disabled folk also receive lesser care. If you are disabled after an injury, insurance companies can even dictate what type of prosthetic you receive or at home care that's available (hint, practically nothing).

Women are also affected by insurance claim discrimination, but not as much as disabled or minority folk. If you are Trans, more and more states are blocking to even cover the care you need. This is all justified because of the risk you will need future care. If it is highly likely you are in a risk category to either 1) not be able to pay the adjusted bills or 2) need further/lifelong care, then you get treated as such with higher bills, different care, and/or denied claims.

So the current system benefits rich white men the most. And we all know how much most of them like to admit their privilege and work to change these systematic issues against a billion dollar industry.

#Infosec_Taylor@twitter #twitter #american medical system #murica #america #health care #insurance #us politics #long post

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sparrowsgarden · 11 months

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As someone with a passing knowledge of how AI/computer image generation works, I really wouldn't have minded my stuff being plugged into an engine before a handful of months ago.

That isn't to say that artists shouldn't have control over whether their content is used as training data (the general lack of discretion in the data sets is a whole issue of its own), but up until recently these programs were a lot more of a novelty, and also commonly acknowledged to be very bad at what they were trying to do. While stable diffusion has made the outputs scan better, they're clearly still lacking a lot. Of course, I've never been personally at risk, because I don't have a singular distinctive visual art style - I have a good handful which I apply depending on my mood or what the project demands. My writing, also, is geared toward clear and concise communication, and that simply can't be imitated if the engine doesn't understand the concept behind what it's trying to communicate.

But moreso, it seemed absurd to me that image generation in its current state could compete with actual artists, and I still don't really see that as being as much of a concern as some people think. The people who understand the value of human-made art will still want it regardless of replicability. Anyone willing to substitute it for something that gives them much less flexibility with the final output probably either wasn't compensating artists fairly before, or wasn't buying art at all. I'm not really convinced this hypothetical guy exists who previously would have paid full price for a work by a popular digital artist, but won't anymore because they can generate a facsimile of the artist's style. I think the problem is way more with the general devaluation of art and design work.

There certainly may be less commercial work, but the survival of artists shouldn't depend on their commercial viability. In our capitalist hellscape those corners are liable to be cut when any substitute is available. That could be computer image generation, or it could be a guy who can whip out a barely-passable Photoshop job in 20 minutes where an artist (or a designer who cared and was paid enough to make it more than barely-passable) would spend hours.

Anyone who's argued for modern art before - or on the other end of the spectrum, for photorealism - knows that art shouldn't be valued only by how easy the image is to replicate, and I feel like the emphasis on commercial viability really flattens the discussion on how this technology actually has the capability for harm.

My concern is not about the artists not getting paid for jobs in industries they were already being cut out of. My concern is about how our world might get measurably worse because some people have decided that "actively garbage but scans ok at a first glance" is good enough. Or they don't know enough about what they're doing to discern whether the output is good quality, which is uh, horrifying in some of these contexts. But again, those people were already cutting those corners - it's just gotten way easier to point and laugh at them.

So really, if we want to protect ourselves, I think the main thing that we can do is point and laugh. This won't guarantee that they'll change anything meaningfully, but it'll at least show them they can't get away with making these changes without anyone noticing. It'll hopefully teach people who have not figured it out that these tools are not smart and essays are not an appropriate use for them. And it'll give us some pretty guilt-free schadenfreude to tide us over.

#these engines have a lot of other issues that need to be addressed #but i have zero issue with the *concept* of these tools when used appropriately #a lot of the issues currently are that people aren't using them appropriately #and are thereby making themselves look very stupid #everyone should have vastly more control over their data than is currently given to us regardless of its use #but even if a computer or a five year old or anyone else can replicate your style your art has value #and you must sell to people who know that because those who see art as only a commodity will always treat you poorly #anyway i genuinely put a lot of work into this mini-essay please reblog it

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angryschnauzer · 1 year

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I posted 5,272 times in 2022

345 posts created (7%)

4,927 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@captainsy-cookiemonster

@nuggsmum

@inkededucatednnerdy

@angreav

@anais-ninja-bitch

I tagged 99 of my posts in 2022

#henry cavill - 20 posts

#valentines ask - 12 posts

#chris evans - 7 posts

#henry cavill x reader - 7 posts

#henry cavill x you - 6 posts

#henry cavill smut - 6 posts

#chris evans x you - 5 posts

#chris evans smut - 5 posts

#chris evans x reader - 5 posts

#submission - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#those chips you find under the steak that have soaked up all the amazing flavours and are now drenched in mayo

I personally find this hilarious that i tag so few posts and the biggest one is about food lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

Beast and the Beauty

Summary: Life with your prim and proper boyfriend Humphrey is luxurious but boring, so you try and spice it up a little. However when he’s delayed at work one night and you end up getting locked out of your apartment, your neighbour Sy comes to your rescue and makes your evening a whole lot spicier.

Fandoms: Henry Cavill, Stardust Movie (modern day AU), Sandcastle Movie

Pairing: Syverson x Reader, Humphrey x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, cheating, dubious consent, morally grey situation, oral sex (female receiving), Oral Sex/Blowjob, Fingering, Sex Toys/Buttplug, Rimming, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Sex, Rough Sex, Squirting, Cream Pie, Sloppy Seconds, Anal Play, Anal Creampie, hints at cuckolding.

I do not run a tag list, instead please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications. Henry Cavill Masterlist

A/N: This is another story that i started months ago and had langished in writers block purgatory. Originally i had intentions of making this dom/sub, but that kept making me stumble. Instead this is simply rough sex with a dominant male. Female reader is fairly sassy and would not be considered a ‘sub’ generally. A/N 2: At one point i describe Sy wrapping his fingers into the readers hair. I kept this as un-descriptive as possible so to include as many different types of hair, only mentioned that its tugged at the roots, which i believe would work with any hairstyle with the exception of hair shorter than 2cm/1inch.

Beast and the Beauty

“Darling, i’m so sorry, but this could really advance my standing with the company, they’ve only just let me handle the big construction account”

You sighed at your boyfriend's words. You’d been looking forward to him coming over tonight, had bought the things to cook dinner and had prepared a few things to spice up the evening afterwards. But you knew he wanted to succeed and climb the corporate ladder, and going to ‘the club’ for drinks with the high flyers in corporate would get his foot in the door.

“Humph its fine, we can do it another night”

“Darling, you’re an absolute sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you”

You grinned; “You certainly will”

“Oooh” you heard people talking and calling out to him in the background; “I’ve got to go Darling, i’ll give you a call later”

“Okay, bye Humph”

The sound of men laughing in background and Humphrey muttering a goodbye was the last thing you heard before the line went dead. With a sigh you set your phone on the counter and wondered what to do with your evening.

An hour later you’d rage cleaned your kitchen, vacuumed the rugs, and emptied the trash baskets, loading everything into one bag. With your music still playing through your earpods you took a deep breath and let the breeze from the open window cool your skin, before grabbing the trash bag and stepping out into the hallway to drop it down the garbage chute. Halfway down the hall as you hummed along to your playlist you felt the gust of wind followed by the loud bang and your heart sank; your apartment door had blown shut. With you on the wrong side of it. Dropping the bag you hurriedly patted down your tiny booty shorts like a dumbass, there weren’t even pockets in the tiny scrap of fabric, let alone had you remember to put anything in them.

“Fuck” you cursed, looking down at your outfit. It was one you had specifically bought to tease Humphrey; booty shorts, cropped t-shirt, and over the knee socks, knowing it was super casual to his primped and proper button up shirts and chinos he always wore. With a sigh you knew what your only option was, so admitting defeat you grabbed the trash bag and shot it down the chute, before standing in front of your neighbours door, knocking with your knuckles.

The door swung open and a rush of air wooshed past you, and it felt like the oxygen had been sucked from your lungs. Standing in the doorway pretty much blocking out all of the light spilling into the hallway from his apartment was your neighbour; Sy.

The brute of the man let a smile tug at the corner of his mouth, crossing his arms as he leant against the frame of the door;

“What do we have here then?”

“Hi… I was putting the trash out but the wind caught my door…”

“And now you’re stuck”

“Yeah”

“Wearing that”

“Yeah”

He paused, blatantly looking you up and down before you crossed your arms;

“You know what, forget it. I’ll go see Mrs Cooper downstairs”

Turning away you were stopped when a massive hand caught your arm;

“Hey, I'm sorry. You wanna come in?” turning back to him the cockyness was gone; “I promise i’ll even be nice”

See the full post

542 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Netflix and Chilled

Summary: Living in a shared house, you do your best to keep your sexual desires a secret, especially from your attractive floor buddy Henry. But when the heating goes out and you’re both cold, surely watching a movie cuddled under the duvet wouldn’t lead to anything?

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Female Reader Henry is a inexperienced Dom, Reader is an experienced Sub.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Friends to Lovers, Oral, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Anal Toys, cum play, body piercings.

I do not run a tag list, instead please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications. Henry Cavill Masterlist

A/N: This originally started out as a Mikey x Reader story but then i got writers block. That was until i got one helpful comment in particular on AO3 and it inspired me to change it to RPF and make it Henry instead of a character. Thank you AO3 commenter!

Netflix and Chilled

Living in a shared house could be a pain sometimes, but once you got the right mix of people things seemed to flow nicely. The house itself was perfect, spread over a grand total of five stories, it was tall and narrow, a kitchen and living room on the entry level with a basement containing two bedrooms below. Above the shared area’s there were two more main levels each with two bedrooms and then an attic room.

You had one of the basement rooms, sometimes a bit too cold in the winter. It however had its own access through a low doorway out beneath the stone stoop and steps of the front door, as did the other room in the basement that led into the garden at the rear. A small shared shower room was the bathroom for the basement, which your floor roommate kept relatively clean, although did have a tendency to leave body hair pretty much everywhere and didn’t know how to hang towels up to dry.

Ah yes, your floor-mate; Henry. Tall and skinny Henry, with a goofy smile and inappropriate jokes. Henry who went from job to job, never lasting long in each position from either getting fired or quitting. The only thing he did seem to stick to was his guitar practice, and many weekend mornings you were gradually woken to the soft strumming of his acoustic guitar. You’d made the ‘mistake’ of walking into his room one morning with a mug of tea for him as you’d heard him playing, almost spilling the contents when you’d seen that he was sitting there in just his boxers as he had been trying a particularly difficult chord whilst hungover. You’d made a hasty exit, apologising for not knocking. It was after that morning you could understand why the women that Henry brought home made so much noise; the guy was certainly packing some equipment in the underwear department. It was a few weeks later when most of the housemates were sat around the table for dinner did the subject get onto Henry’s conquests, and someone had teased him that it was a different girl each time and why he didn’t keep one around for longer than just a night. His reply was that they were ‘too vanilla’ for him which made everyone laugh, but the subject was then dropped.

You’d made no attempt to take part in that conversation, partly out of a well hidden jealousy, but also you didn’t want to get interrogated as your own tastes were considerably darker than anyone knew about. Occasionally you’d have your own conquests, but you always went back to their place so your housemates were none the wiser of your preferences. As far as they were concerned you were the one who liked fairy lights and fluffy pillows, completely unaware of your box of tricks you kept in the bottom drawer next to your bed. It was one of those tricks that had almost got you caught out that morning, just after you and Henry had returned from the supermarket where it had been your turn on the monthly rota to buy cleaning supplies and bathroom tissue for the whole house. Two of your other housemates had been loitering in the kitchen as you’d bent over to stash the laundry detergent into the low cupboards when one had let out a low whistle as your lower back had come into view from your low riding sweatpants and t-shirt;

“Gurrrl, no panties? Really getting into that relaxed weekend vibe…”

The other had laughed as you’d spun around and stood quickly, glaring at them and annoyed with yourself for almost revealing one of your secrets. Glaring at both of them you pulled your t-shirt up at the front, exposing the thin elastic band of your underwear;

“You two can just shut up”

You slammed the cupboard door shut and left the room, angry not only at them but also at yourself. You’d worked so hard to keep everything a secret, and there you were almost giving things away. Passing Henry in the hallway you stomped downstairs.

As he entered the kitchen Henry turned to his two housemates;

“What was that all about?”

As the two other guys stood up they shrugged;

“Dunno… when she bent over her sweats slipped down and you could see the top of her ass crack and Dave made a joke about going commando…”

“But she wasn't, she showed us the elastic to her panties when she turned around in a huff…”

Henry shrugged;

“Guys, you know she’s a private person. Take it easy on her, ok?”

“Yeah, whatever man. Think the cold it getting to everyone”

Henry turned and looked at the silent water heater in the corner of the kitchen;

“When is that getting fixed again? It's freezing in this house at the moment”

“Dunno… next week i think”

In your room you had rolled up a blanket and put it along the bottom of the outside door to try and prevent the cold from outside coming in through the gap, and switched on the small fan heater you’d had in case of emergencies. You planned on crawling under your duvet and watching movies, perhaps treating yourself to some personal time if the house went quiet. What you hadn’t expected was a quiet knock at the door;

“Only me”

Henry. He was probably bored and tended to loiter when he didn’t have any plans. You didn’t mind but it just meant the personal time you’d considered would have to wait. Looking up you saw him entering your room with two steaming mugs piled high with whipped cream and marshmallows, the aroma of chocolate wafting on the chilled air of the room;

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576 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

Heads up for non UK people: if your mutuals aren't online for the next couple of days, its because we have a HUGE Atlantic storm about to hit the entire country. Storm Eunice is due to make landfall 9am Friday Feb 18th, with sustained wind speeds of 80mph in the west of the country, and even 400+ miles inland, the storm will still be strong enough to obliterate urban areas and major cities with wind speeds of 70mph.

Unfortunately this storm arrives after a very rainy winter, plus a previous storm having hit the country just 48 hours earlier. Coincide with an early spring, trees already starting to bud and grow leaves, and soft earth meaning root networks have only sodden ground to try and cling to, its looking like hundreds of thousands of homes could be without power.

On the plus side, homes here are generally made of stone, brick, or concrete, or substantial solid wooden buildings. But pretty much every govt agency is warning against travelling apart from essential journeys only.

The last time we had a storm with wind speeds this high, it cut power to 70% of the country for 10 days (1987).

So, fingers crossed we're all still here come Sunday.

894 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

By The Waning Crescent Moon

Summary: As an Omega you know you need to get home before your Heat starts, but when your car breaks down in the woods you need to seek refuge somewhere safe... surely a Convent will be the best place? Little do you know the nuns have long since left, only to be replaced by the worst possible thing; a pack of Werewolves. Even worse, its a full moon. Fandom: Henry Cavill, Sand Castle - Movie.

Wordcount: 4949

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Syverson x Omega Female reader (no race or body type specified)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Smut, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Unprotected Sex, Desecration of Religious artefacts, Knotting, Werewolf Sex, Monsterfucking, Unplanned Pregnancy, ABO Dynamics

I do not run a tag list, instead please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, you’ll then get an alert each time i post something new. My AO3 also has my entire back catalogue of stories (going back to 2013).

Henry Cavill Masterlist

A/N: This story has been stuck in WIP hell for a couple of months, i originally got psyched to write an entire werewolf gangbang, but then all the bullshit in the USA happened and yeah, forced pregnancy wasn’t at the forefront of everyone’s to do list, even in fanfic. Furthermore the wolf gang was originally going to be a biker gang, but another amazing writer @sillyrabbit81 has since launched a truly amazing biker gang reverse harem fic, i decided to shelve that idea and instead sit on the original thought of werewolves for a while. I then had inspiration to make this a Syverson story, so here we go. The Were sex scene is heavily inspired by the graveyard scene between Lucy and Dracula in Bram Stokers Dracula movie, which in my opinion is one of the greatest creature feature/monsterfucking movies in the history of cinema.

By the Waning Crescent Moon

You waited at the stop light, the remote intersection of two highways high up in the hills of logging country. It was dusk, yet the sky was hidden behind obsidian clouds, heavy rain systems waiting to release their downpours in sporadic outbursts. Despite the cold rain dulling the summer evening, you were burning up. You’d stopped at the last gas station and had stocked up on a huge slush drink and a popsicle, but neither had done anything to quell the growing warmth within your body. Sat in your flimsy sundress you were at least grateful that in a moment of optimism that morning you’d dressed for good weather, even if you’d spent the day wrapped in the cardigan you’d found on the back seat. However now as you felt a droplet of sweat make its way down your neck and cleavage, you cursed and opened the window, grateful for the cool damp air against your skin.

The red light finally changed and you muttered under your breath to yourself as you pushed your old Nissan into gear;

“C’mon, lets get home” you said to no-one except yourself.

The highway grew narrow as it entered the woods, just a single lane in each direction, tall cedar trees closing in on both sides. The rain wasn’t as heavy beneath the thick canopy above you, instead there were wisps of mist clinging to the roadway’s edge.

As you continued along you felt the first pang of pain in your stomach, a cramp that grew with intensity like an old lightbulb trying to illuminate but suddenly extinguishing.

“Oh fuck…” you cursed, resting your hand on your stomach as you rubbed to ease the ache. You drove on cautiously, ignoring the rattle that was emanating from the engine, your mind elsewhere. You had only finished your last period a little over a week ago so it wasn’t that. You could feel another cramp starting to build, your concentration far from the road. That was more than likely the reason you didn’t notice the pothole, the car shook and the suspension made a deafening thunk as you hit the flooded crater without pause. With a scream you pulled your full attention back to the road, ignoring the cramp pulling at your gut as you struggled to keep the car on the road, slowing gradually until you were able to pause. The sudden understanding hit your mind as the realisation of what was happening registered. You scrambled for your phone, opening the calendar and scrolling back to the cold winter months.

A cold chill ran down your back like icy fingers against your spine. Six months. Almost to the day. Six months since your last heat.

“Shit fuck FUCK” you shouted at the rain splattered windows. How could you have missed it? As another cramp hit your stomach you curled over and rested your head against the steering wheel, at which moment your phone chimed. Peering out of one eye you looked at the screen and the reminder that had just popped up;

*Heat starting soon!!!*

“Yes, THANK YOU. 24 hours too late”

As an unmated Omega you set yourself reminders for when your heat was due, coming every six months you generally made arrangements to work from home, and ensure you loaded your purse with suppressants and painkillers so to deal with the build up. It would seem this time however you hadn’t set the reminder early enough, as you had neither medication with you, but would also explain the hot sweats and the reason you’d woken up that morning tangled in the sheets after dreaming of faceless intimacy.

With a sigh you wiped the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand, before peering out of the windshield at the dark and twisting road. Engaging first gear you set off but were immediately reminded that something terminal had happened when you’d hit the hole in the asphalt, your car now leaning on the kerbside. For a moment you considered calling for a tow truck, but then the rapidly failing rational side of your brain reminded you that the truck would likely be driven by a man, and the last thing you needed when you were about to come into heat was to risk being stuck with an Alpha you didn’t know. No, you needed to try and limp your car home, at least close enough to town that you could call your roommate to come help, she’d know exactly what to do. You made it a good couple of miles at a slow pace, the road straight and gently downhill, until a hairpin bend meant you had to sharply turn the wheel. Something loudly went ‘twang’ like a spring being violently recoiled. It was quickly followed by the sound of hissing air, and the car dropped even further on the kerbside. The tell-tale thud-thud-thud of a flat tyre could be heard as you freewheeled to the side of the road, before coming to a stop on the gravel side of the highway.

You took a deep breath and let out a scream, yelling at the windshield, before your stomach cramps hit back again. They were getting closer together and you knew you needed help. Checking your phone hopefully you were still disappointed when you saw that there was still no service, more than likely due to a combination of location and the bad weather. With a sigh you stared out of the windshield and you noticed a sign on a wall;

“The Sisters of St Augustus’ Refuge” you paused, the synapses in your brain firing and finally connecting; “A CONVENT! That’s just women!”

Climbing out of your car you grabbed your purse and cardigan, holding the latter over your head in a vain attempt to keep the worst of the rain off as you started to trot up the long driveway towards the building that loomed on the horizon. You failed to notice the other sign that lay on the ground, one put up by the real estate company handling the sale of the building but has since fallen.

The driveway was considerably longer than you anticipated, and by the time you were halfway your pace had slowed, your cramps now even worse. The large wooden doors of the convent came into view as you staggered closer, the rain and sweat mixing and running into your eyes, blurring your vision. You stumbled, your no longer white Converses catching on a pebble, righting yourself before you fell flat on your face. Another two steps and another pebble, you were falling when suddenly a pair of arms caught you, the dark robes fluttering in the storm as you blacked out.

Sy sat back in his chair, his boots resting on the large table as he picked at his nails with one long claw, being able to control the change to his advantage. Walter was pacing the room, pausing to glare at the clock on the wall before returning to pacing. Sy let out a small sigh, the entire pack was antsy, anxious and ready for the turn of the full moon, however this summer storm obscuring its silver rays was turning the pack into an angry mess. August had wisely disappeared into the depths of the building and Sy was thankful for that, he and Walter would always argue over the smallest thing. Sy also glanced at the clock, his stomach growling;

“Where is Mikey with that takeout?” he muttered to himself.

A sudden increase in background noise caused both Sy and Walter to pause and look up, their nostrils flaring. August entered the room from the door that led to the private quarters, just as the large double doors to the chapel opened. The two youngest members of the pack came bustling in, Will holding the doors open as Mikey staggered along, his long black duster raincoat still dripping with rain, a now soaked bag of takeout hanging from one hand, but what caught everyone’s attention was what else he was carrying; a young woman.

The room fell into an eerie silence as Mikey stood still, waiting to gauge the reaction from the rest of the pack;

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951 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

On Your Knees

Summary: As general maid for 221 Baker Street, you assist most of the residents. However on one quiet night when most of them are out, only one resident returns to his home... a little worse for wear. He thanks you in the easiest way possible.

Fandoms: Enola Holmes 2, Henry Cavill

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, Smut, NSFW, Drunk Sherlock, Oral Sex (Female Receiving).

Here is my masterlist and AO3

Wordcount: 1854

On Your Knees

The cold wind rattled the fragile glass in the frame, a chill advancing into your room even further as the dark night continued. The building of 221 Baker Street was colder than usual, most of the apartments empty for the night due to various parties and festive events happening this time of year meaning the tenants wouldn’t be back until the morning.

As the scullery maid of 221 Baker Street you were in and out most of the apartments each day, tending to the fireplaces and delivering meals if required. The housekeeper who supervised you telling you where to go and what to do wasn’t around either, though her instruction was rarely needed anymore, you knew the routines of all of the tenants and could read the calendar hung in the kitchen showing who was home and who wasn’t.

At that moment the wind rushed against the window again and you pulled your dressing gown further around your body, shivering beneath your quilt. Glancing at your own laundry you’d hand washed that evening, your bloomers hung on the wooden airer where the chimney breast rose through the building. With every pair you owned doing little to dry in the cold attic room, you cursed your schedule for not giving you time to do it earlier in the day when the sun had been coming through the window. Now you just had your thin nightgown and woollen stockings to keep you warm beneath your dressing gown.

You were drawn from your thoughts by the sound of movement in the hallway far below your room. Freezing you wracked your brain to try to remember if any of the tenants were due back tonight, but none were. Through the eerie quiet of the house there was another bump and a quiet curse. You reached for the large floor brush that still sat beside the door to your room with its dustpan, lifting the brush as a weapon as you opened the door and carefully stepped out onto the old floorboards to peer down through the stairwell. Clinging to your brush you leant forwards over the bannister and peered through the darkness, a single lamp in the hall four floors down barely illuminating the entryway before you suddenly saw a shadow move. Letting out a small gasp you clamped your hand over your mouth as you watched, but that tension evaporated when you recognised the wide shoulders and curly dark hair of the tenant in apartment B;

“Detective Holmes!” you called out, the figure below swivelling rapidly before spinning and looking up.

“Ah. There you are…” a soft hiccup followed as he swayed on his feet.

“I’ll be right down Sir”

Just last week Mr Holmes’ sister helped him into his apartment having had too many drinks at the pub, and it would seem he’d done the same again tonight. Padding on stocking clad feet you descended the stairs quickly, soon arriving in the hallway as Mr Holmes swayed a little on his feet;

“Can i help you to your apartment Sir?”

“Oh that would be *hiccup* wonderful Darling”

Hooking your arm around his back and pulling his own arm over your shoulders, you started to help him up the stairs one at a time, before arriving at his apartment.

“I have a… I have my… dammit” Mr Holmes cursed as he fumbled for his key, and as you glanced down you could see that the bunch of keys in his pocket had caught on the fabric and were stuck. Without even thinking you batted his hand away and slid your much smaller hand into his pocket, moving the keys around until they were no longer snagged on the fabric. You tried not to think of the heat radiating from Mr Holmes thigh, barely separated from your touch by a thin layer of cotton, nor the firm muscle beneath the fabric that flexed as your delicate fingers brushed against it. He answered your silent thoughts with a grunt, before you pulled the keys out and unlocked the door, all whilst he had his arm around your shoulder.

His body was firm and heavy, a welcome weight against your cold frame, and as he swayed you did so too, before he finally pulled his arm free of your shoulders and started to shuck off his coat and scarf, struggling as he went about the task.

“Mr Holmes, Sir, please let me help…”

He swung around, shrugging his shoulders, his coat now held on his arms around his elbows, his wide shoulders only accentuated by the white shirt and silk waistcoat that clung to his torso. Whilst distracted you didn’t spot his flailing, one stray arm of his coat socking you around the chin, and although not hurting you, caught you by surprise and knocked you back where you lost your footing and fell on your bottom.

“Ta-da! Done it!” he proclaimed proudly, before spinning around; “Where did you…?”

Climbing to your feet you took the bundle of coat from the floor;

“Ah, there you are Darling, didn’t get you did i?”

“Just a little Mr Holmes. Let me hang this up for you”

As you hung the coat onto the hook near the door you heard a gasp and a soft thud, turning to see Sherlock on his knees before you;

“Mr Holmes!”

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1,060 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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none-prob · 1 year

Text

I write about a character per day

Day 12: Edalyn Clawthorne

Owl lady. Anarchist. Mother of two.

There's just so many things I want to say about her.

I think Eda's life before Luz was summed up quite well with her own quote: "It's my power, kid. And before you showed up, I spent my whole life wasting it." That goes to show how impactful Luz is on Eda's life, and that's not the only character Luz had a positive spin on (I'm considering writing about Luz after W&D).

Before Luz came, Eda's life, which we can speculate, was selling human garbage to the Isles' citizens, pickpocketing, do anything in order to buy potions to not let the curse affect her, while also running away from the Emperor. Even with King and Hooty, and previously Raine and Lilith, her life was probably not as adventurous as when Luz came. Maybe, maybe not, and I wished we could have seen more of Eda's life before Luz, but we won't. It's fine, because everything she did with Luz and everyone in the house was awesome. Even the swap thing, yeah that's my controversial take, I think Once Upon A Swap is a good episode. It's a good episode in a show full of great episodes. But anyway, the point is, Eda had really used her power for good, even pushed her hardest to save Luz, and she's proud of it. That moment for me was like losing a family member, one who only been around for a few months. And it all started with a little crown. And speaking of that...

Her relationship with King was also blooming. Before Luz it wasn't that exciting, as they probably just did their things together. But with Luz and later on Lilith, King was more open about her story, only to find out it was fabricated by Eda. But what was his response after Eda said so? Asked her to adopt him. It's one of the few times Eda ugly cry throughout the show, and it's fine. It's beautiful. Eda was now a mother of two, of a human and a Titan. It got so much better, for the very few scenes in For the Future they bonded together over a mutual feeling. King hugged Eda's leg in the most emotional way possible.

Mother of two, but ran away from her own mother? Alright now that's an interesting shift. But like I said when I talked about Gwen, which is another niche character I also enjoy a lot, I'm so glad they communicated and made up the past. I can understand avoiding parents, the lack of communication resulted in avoidance, while your parents just want to do the things they think it's best for you.

How about her sister? Lilith probably has the second greatest redemption arc in the show in my opinion, after Hunter. It only took a few attempts, an all out battle, putting her sister at the risk of life, and a pain sharing spell for a Lilith redemption. Once again, a little lack of communication between them, had lead to a rift that took decades to fix. It's really sad, but I'm glad they're together to right all wrong, and learn magic together.

I think it's amazing that Eda managed to make peace with the Owl beast, something that had been a pain for her that she can't get rid of for 20 years. This is a really important lesson. Sometimes, you need to make peace with things that hurt you, especially those you can't get rid of. One lesson that Steven Universe had taught that no one seems to be able to grab. Eda got so much better, basically regained her power in one of the most stylish way possible.

The curse was an indirect reason that caused her to break up with Raine. Raeda is one hell of a beautiful relationship. I've talked about Raine's side before. Eda was the one who saved Raine's crew from the Emperor, who sacrificed to get a sigil for Raine's plan, and visited puppet Raine. Eda was impressed by Raine from the first look, from the first drink, and the rest is history.

I think this next part is my favourite of Edalyn Clawthorne. It's her desire to rub in on Emperor's face, but more importantly, to protect all wild witches left. An incredible anarchist. And in the most creative ways possible, including body swapping her own sister (see this is why I will defend Once Upon A Swap). With or without power, she is a legendary rebel. Someone who had built her name as the most powerful witch on the Isles, for managing to escape the police state from the Emperor without fail. No power, no problem. She will still be sneaky, be smart, and having absolutely none of it with the Emperor. She's not a rebel who just want to cause chaos, she's an anarchist who will stand up for the right when she needed to.

I love Edalyn Clawthorne. She's simply the coolest witch on the isles, without a competition.

#the owl house #toh #eda toh #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #luz noceda #king clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #raine whispers

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leafdebrief · 1 year

Text

Hi friends 👋

This is mostly a message for people on/from Twitter, and for me to repost as a link over there. Tumblr does long-form better and I can't think of any other way to communicate this effectively without a lot of writing, so here's the deal.

I'm getting close to finished compiling the various things I need to send for my pre-2023 mail people (yes, I am still doing this because I collect first and send when everything is perfect) and tying up a lot of loose projects. There's still a lot of work to do but with the time I've been not tweeting, I've been painting, soldering, building, videoing and editing my busy little hands away in preparation for surprises to come. BUT—

I need to get even more serious now. Or at least as serious as someone like myself can muster.

Right now, for me that means laying out my Grand Plan for this year on this post and then getting right to it. I'm addressing the Twitter fam directly because for you, dear friends, that will kinda mean I won't be on Twitter that much anymore. Really this time.

Yeah yeah, I know. We all threw up our arms and threatened to leave umpteen times, and then we all settled to stick around to watch it all burn, and for a while I was satisfied with that pace. It was fun watching the fire.

But the fire has already been reduced to embers.

Now it just feels like standing in front of a smouldering pile of garbage and gleefully inhaling its toxic fumes.

For the last few months, Twitter has slowly but very steadily been silencing the people I want to talk to—in a number of different ways—or outright making them disappear from me. Or worse still, replacing them. With what?

Antivaxxer

Transphobe

Elon Musk

Climate change denier

Literal nazi

Elon Musk

Antivaxxer

Everything I see everywhere in this place and now in my life is telling me in no uncertain terms: "mobilize now".

Bad actors are already mobile. The pandemic created an opportunity for our collective horseshit to fester, and now it is very commonplace to see people who publicly—and often violently—act out their racist, phobic, misogynist agendas in the real world. Stuff that nobody would dream of saying out loud 10 years ago for fear of getting punched are now everywhere I look. Nazis used be a Not Cool thing.

But people are literally dying.

I've been trying my level best to stick around and keep up morale on behalf of those who are being actively targeted, but then the shooting at start of the Lunar New Year gave me a shake. Once again, the target is people who look like the person I love most in the world. Her whole family. All of the people in my life that I hold dear, in fact, are targets in one way or another.

The funny thing is, violent extremism isn't even the worst threat we're facing. The walls are closing in from every direction: unfettered spread of deadly viruses is past the point of fixing, and ecological collapse the likes of which our civilization has not ever seen will happen in the next 10 years.

Does that mean I'm giving up the fight to go take care of myself and mine?

Don't be absurd. I'm just angrier.

Lucky for me and nobody else, the coping mechanism I developed for my anger in my 20s is doing everything faster. Like, way faster. More aggressively too.

But I need to focus and organize my efforts a bit better so I can start doing things out in the Real World™. The good news is that I already started preparing for this months ago and have a headstart now.

Basically, I think what I need to do is integrate all my various battles into one ongoing project/series/lifestyle, so I can just always be working towards those various goals while still creating content that can use any platform available to spread reach and find new ways to fix things.

Here's the plan:

Tour de'Brief is happening for real. I will be touching more grass this year, in different cities, to visit the various dispensaries I've become close with and talk with locals about local issues (keeping myself and others as safe from disease as possible naturally). Why?

Well for starters, it's the disposable thing again! I will be personally trying to make storeowners commit to getting rid of theirs, in exchange for an LD-exclusive battery recycling bin (to be sent to me for collection) and a bunch of assorted creations for all their employees. Yeah, I made stuff. Lots of it.

Twitter presence will ramp down to a mostly communicative one: announce things posted on other platforms, coordinate things with people, answer questions, and probably Spaces. Maybe the odd shitpost here and there, but I'll be draining my drafts folder for the foreseeable future. Does that mean... no more content??

Actually, no, it means NEW content—I'm going back into the YouTubes! Going full production mode, even more content hopefully. Big ambitious videos with all our friends, collaborations with musicians.. and Twitter hanging around in my back pocket to connect with those collaborators. I am turning into a television set.

Tumblr will still work for long-form writing, but also with more focus on showcasing finished works (paintings, trays, electronics, etc). There's lots of stuff to show now since I've been saving it up.

The podcast! (Wait, what??) That's right, I'm booting it back up! The format will be more guest-based since I have all you great pals to talk to now.

That mailing list! Once I'm done with friendmail, I'm going to just start randomly sending you shit, as was my original plan. #FreeDrugs is forever!!!

What I need most right now is a way to cover more ground. The way I've decided to achieve that is by being a pest, so.. the usual really, but much more personal this time around. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar though, so I'll be needing lots of time to make bad creations that will hopefully entice a store of people to temporarily tolerate my presence.

If this sounds like a bad plan, it might very well be. But stick with me here—

My thought is that I can use the opportunity presented by fighting my climate battle to shoehorn in whatever other missions need attention depending on the geographical area. Different places have different problems; I need to learn about how each community tackles them, if at all, and gather context.. read the vibes... then break shit!

Figuratively that is.

Of course there will be plenty of literal breakages, and that's part of the fun!

I am preparing for the world to look very different, and very Not Good, in the coming 5-10 years—the extent to which is not clear to me yet. I would be narcissistic and delusional to think I am going to save the world by collecting batteries from pot shops and arguing with the locals, but I need to do everything.. anything.. that I can, all at once preferably, while trying to expand my reach organically by essentially docu-series-ing the next year as it happens.

It's gonna be wild itellyouwhat.

This Friday we'll have a good bash before I quiet down the Twitter presence indefinitely, but I want to still be reachable and connect with the people I met there. It's a hard line to draw. There will be lots of mail goes back and forth though, so I'll still be retweeting and replying whenever possible.

If Spaces disappears, I have an entire mailing list of friends—digitally now!—and the means to operate outside of Twitter in a variety of different ways. We will continue to connect digitally until I make it to your hometown, and until then I will continue to mail things to anyone on that list... you're helping to make my video content, see?

We always make the greatest team.

#leaf debrief

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