#This is one of those cases where the stereotype is asexual people are robots and you’re like ‘hey no’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1863-project · 2 years

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Hey, I just wanted to say that I appreciate that you’re willing to call out potential ableist stereotypes in relation to pokemon. I personally believe N was intentionally autistic-coded, and seeing headcanons about him secretly being a zoroark or whatever always bothered me. I’m glad that pokemon fans have generally moved on from that type of thing, and it’s thanks to people like you that we have.

Hi, anon! Thank you, I'm glad to know people are appreciating it! I do a lot of advocacy for neurodiversity in real life (I'm autistic with OCD, so those are my specialties, but in the case of other things I don't have personal experience with I can uplift other voices), so I'm happy people are taking it seriously!

N is absolutely a character that can be read as autistic-coded - I wrote a big post on my more serious autism advocacy blog on the subject over a year ago. I think a lot of people don't realize the ableist undertones the Zoroark theory actually has, but it feeds into the narrative that neurodiverse people are somehow "non-human." A theory regarding changeling myths is that this explained neurodiverse, particularly autistic, children, especially since some autistic traits don't show up until the baby is older. Again, these myths cast the neurodiverse child as non-human, and the parents reject it as "not their child," much like "Autism Parents" do when they mourn the "normal" child they never had. (Spoiler alert: those parents are being extremely ableist, and a lot of them will get really mad when an autistic adult points this out to them, so be careful!)

Before we had canonical representation, autistic people in particular often had to find ourselves in non-human places, with characters being similar to us often being robots and aliens (a plight we shared with asexual and aromantic people). A famous early example a lot of autistic people cite is Spock from Star Trek, who was half-human and half-Vulcan and made many autistic people feel seen for the first time. Now we're getting characters who canonically are autistic, or ADHD, or have OCD, or have Tourette's, or...I could go on forever here. But because of this, we also have the responsibility to portray neurodiversity with the nuance it deserves, and that means pointing out ableism, both of the intentional and unintentional varieties.

I play Pokemon Masters EX, and in N's event, he has a conversation with Alder. One of his lines struck me especially:

Ghetsis demeaned N by using this phrase, essentially dehumanizing him. In reality, N has animal empathy and due to his early upbringing can understand Pokemon speech. If anything, N's love and compassion for Pokemon make him immensely human; he cares deeply and wants to improve the world and protect his friends. But he had to grow up in an abusive situation where he was repeatedly dehumanized by his adoptive father. Making N a Zoroark actually does a massive disservice to his character and plays into ableist stereotypes of autistic-coded characters being "non-human" somehow.

Anyway, seeing the Zoroark stuff being brought back with Emmet, one of the most blatantly autistic characters I've ever seen in my 33 years on this planet, feels like a massive slap in the face. My roommate, who is also neurodivergent, wrote a comprehensive post that I reviewed before publication regarding the way some Submas portrayals and content can dip quite easily into ableism, and I recommend it.

If anyone is looking to get into disability and neurodiversity advocacy, I'm happy to help you get started! Thanks again, anon, and I hope you have a lovely day!

#replies #Pokemon #N #Natural Harmonia Gropius #Submas #actuallyautistic #autism #fandom ableism

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timomoe · 2 years

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Smash or Pass, All APH Characters (That I care about!)

Disclaimer: this is written by a terminally asexual 21-year-old who has no attachment to sex and has found only 3 people sexually attractive once in all 21 years he's been alive. This is based off whether or not I think the character's neat or not, not on how pretty they are bc I'm not a great judge of that :/

Germany - Pass

Italy - Pass

Japan - Pass

America - Pass

England - Pass

France - Pass

Russia - PASS PASS PASS PASS OH MY GOD PASS GET HIM AWAY FROM ME

Canada - I feel like he'd make me pancakes with homemade maple syrup the morning after, so on that pretense, smash.

China - pass

Denmark - Smash

Sweden - Smash

Iceland - pass

Finland - SMASH OH MY GOD

Norway - Smash

Latvia - Sir, that is a child.

Lithuania - Uh. Are we talking about my hc Leit who's blind in one eye and missing parts of two limbs? In that case smash, but if it's cannon Leit, also smash.

Estonia - Let's be real, there is no smashing estonia unless you're Sweden, Denmark, or Finland. Best he can do is eat kohuke with you at 3 am while drunk and also slurring about memes in Estonian. You do not understand him, I do not understand him, but he's having fun. But if that's what we consider smashing for estonia, then smash.

Belgium - Smash. Like Canada, I think she'd make really good waffles with me the morning after, give me a bouquet of tulips and talk about how pretty the weather is that day before walking me home.

Luxembourg - Pass

Netherlands - Hard pass

Austria - Smash. He's adorable. Might let me put him in dresses.

Czechia - Pass, but narrowly. She's cute, but loud, and I can't handle that.

Hungary - Pass, for the same reasons as Czechia.

Liechtenstein - Sir, that is a little girl, I don't want to see you sniffing around her anymore, this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your damn mind bc I'll help you find it!! Would make her homemade ice cream, though, because it's what she deserves.

Poland - Hm... I'm gonna say smash for the same reasons as Austria. He might also teach me how to properly color match bc I can't do that shit at all.

Prussia - Pass, way to fucking loud. Probably would cry after sex too, and I'm not emotionally equipped to deal with this man's trauma.

Slovakia - Hm... Pass.

Switzerland - I genuinely feel like he'd be one of those stereotypical guys in the 40s, where he only lasts 5 minutes and is completely robotic about all of it. Smash, bc that means it would be over faster, and there's no emotional attachment. Might teach me to shoot guns. Might take me on hikes in the mountains. The cons do not outweigh the pros.

Belarus - Hard pass

Bulgaria - Soft pass

Moldova - Sir, that's a toddler. That is a whole ass child. But I will make mittens for him bc he deserves nice things.

Romania - Pass

Ukraine - She's a sweetheart. I want to kiss her on the forehead and make her flower crowns and sew her long, flowy dresses by hand. I want this woman to be my cottagecore wife and live with her in a cottage in the woods so that all the kids around us think we're spooky witches - which, yes, we are - even though we'd happily make them rhubarb pie and cookies if they asked. Smash.

Cyprus - Pass

Greece - It's canon that greece sleeps around a lot without protection, which means he's likely carrying every single STI ever known to man + a few mutant strains of each. I feel like I'd be dead before he even took my shirt off, so pass.

Monaco - Pass. I feel like she'd make fun of me for not wearing Prada and Gucci.

Romano - Hard smash. He probably would also cry after sex, but since I'm an Overlooked in Favor of my More Popular and Talented Siblings kid, I am actually equipped to deal with his trauma. He's also funny. Lemme give this man forehead kisses and all the love and appreciation he deserved but never got.

Spain - Pass

Portugal - Pass

Turkey - Smash. He's loud, but I feel like he'd tone it down if asked to. He's sweet. Probably would make me good food. The pros outweigh the cons here.

Egypt - Hm... pass.

Cameroon - Cameroon's fun. I don't think we'd have a lot to talk about, given he's a sports guy and I very much am not, but he has a lion cub and if he lets me kiss its nose, then it will be 100% worth it. He seems sweet anyway.

Seychelles - Smash. She's a sweetie, she'd probably be really nice to me the whole time.

Hong Kong - Pass. I was enough of an annoying young adult to last me the rest of my life, I do not need him to add to that.

Macau - Smash. He seems really dignified, but not in the 'I have a spoon up my ass' way. He's just... Very calm and collected, probably doesn't raise his voice much. Very peaceful to be around, and I think he would put up with my nonsense.

S. Korea - Pass, too loud, very annoying.

Taiwan - Smash, I want to give her forehead kisses.

Thailand - Smash, I want to give him forehead kisses and go elephant watching with him.

Vietnam - Smash, I want to also give her forehead kisses.

India - Smash. He's a cutie. He's described to be "basically the same character as hungary", but he gives me more chill vibes than she does.

Australia - Pass

New Zealand - Pass

Cuba - Smash. He seems really funny - and he's got a bit of a dad bod going on, so he'd probably be really nice to cuddle with. I also like his silly shirts, they make me smile.

Hutt River - Pass

Kugelmugel - Pass

Ladonia - That's a child. I would smash his dad though and make him cry by telling him I'm his new dad. Same goes for Sealand.

Molossia - Tentative pass. It depends on whether he'd be sweet Molossia or Kill Mode Molossia.

Wy - Child. That's a child.

Sealand - See Ladonia

Niko Niko - I would give him forehead kisses, so smash.

Seborga - Pass

TRNC - No, I but I would smash his dad.

Ancient Rome - Rome is probably carrying ancient strains of STIs that, if reintroduced to today's modern ppl, would probably kill the entire population because they've built no immunity to it. He's also annoying. Pass.

Germania - Pass

Ancient Egypt - Pass

Ancient Greece - Pass

Persia - Pass

HRE - No, but I'd give him a forehead kiss the way a mom would before giving him an entire plate of brownies bc it's what he deserves.

#hetalia #too lazy to tag all of them #smash or pass #shitpost

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nona-gay-simus-main · 4 years

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Top 10 Worst LGBTQ+ Tropes

It’s pride month so I’m talking about my least favorite LGBTQ+ tropes in media.

Disclaimer 1: Once again: my post my opinion. If you feel differently, do you. But I will assume you’re probably an asshole.

Disclaimer 2: In this post, I use the word Queer Interchangeably with LGBTQ+. If you’re uncomfortable with that, feel free to move along. If you tag my post with ‘q slur’, I will block you.

1. Bi/ Pan Character That ‘Doesn’t Use Labels.’

Why is it that gay/lesbian/straight people often just get to say what they are, but when it comes to bi/pan characters it becomes some type of extreme wordplay. “Ex lesbian”, “lower on the Kinsey scale”, “oh, I just like people, not gender.” (Yes, those are all real examples.)

Of course, there are people who don’t use specific labels, and of course, you can include that in your writing, but there seems to be a big disparity between multi-gender attracted characters who don’t use labels and everyone else, who weirdly enough, usually gets a specific label.

Just... say the word, pal. Bisexual. Pansexual. It’s not that hard. It’s not offensive. And I’ve never met any bi/pan person who thought that erasure was all the jazz.

2. Coming Out Stories

I’m not saying that’s there’s no value in coming stories, especially ones that are in tune with the changing times, and especially coming out stories of anyone who isn’t a cis WASPy gay man (or occasionally a cis WASPy lesbian), but also, can we please get... something else.

Like, literally anything else. Queer romcoms, lesbian mafia, bisexual vampires, gay pirates, asexual/aromantic monster-fighters, trans superheroes, nonbinary thrillers. Anything where we are allowed to just exist past our coming out and the focus isn’t how hard it is to be LGBTQ+.

It just seems like for the longest time Coming Out stories (about cis white gay people) were pretty much the only media we can exist in, and while that’s slowly starting to change in recent years, we are nowhere close to where we could be.

3. Bury Your Gays

If you have twenty characters and ten of them are queer; and if straight characters also die, then sure. I’ll let you kill a couple gays.

But if you only have one or two queers (that also happen to be a couple) and you kill them (or you kill one half of the couple), we’re gonna have a problem.

Especially if the queer character ends up sacrificing their life to save the Straights. Just represent us in media, where we don’t die or suffer, how hard is that?

4. “Blink and You’ll Miss it” Representation

Oh, so you’re a major franchise, or maybe you’re writing a popular long-running book series and you have FINALLY added a queer character to your gigantic cast?

That’s cool. I mean it sucks it took you this long, but we all have to make progress eventually. So are they a main character? How much does their sexual orientation or gender identity affect their experiences? Who’s their love interest?

Or did you just mean they only show up for one scene and have a single line that confirms their identity, and then they disappear into the nether?

Yeah, fuck you. That’s not representation. That’s you jerking yourself off for brownie points. Well, I’m not giving them to you.

5. Lesbians With Men

Sure, outlier cases exist, but... why do we gotta keep making stories about them?

If this is your lived experience and you want to explore it in a fictional medium, absolutely, by all means. But most of the time this story is made not by queer women, but... pretty much anyone else and it’s just. Exhausting.

There’s a reason it’s called a “lesbian.” And if she falls in love with a man, at the very least have the decency to make it clear that she’s exploring her sexuality, and it’s cut and dry case of “turning a lesbian.” Or better yet, don’t write it at all.

6. The Trans “Twist”

Can we stop fetishizing and discriminating against (binary) trans people in this way? Trans people are just people. There’s nothing scandalous about someone being trans, and nobody is trying to trick anyone into anything.

Stop treating being trans as this huge, insurmountable thing. Especially if your story is set in the last ten years or in an SFF context, and just portray trans folks like normal people. Please.

7. The Token Queer

There’s this group of cis allo straight friends and the one gay guy, who is also usually white, cis, middle class, etc. You know - for diversity.

Sure, maybe if they were childhood friends, or a superhero team or something (although there’s literally nothing stopping you from making at least one more person in the group queer), but I have never in my life wanted to do anything less than constantly hang out with a group of straight people.

The vast majority of straight people don’t make me feel safe, and I rarely have more in common with them than I do with other queer people. Also, if one person in a friend group comes out, at least two more will - this has happened to pretty much all my queer friends.

It’s far more likely to see a group of queer friends with one adopted Straight, who is a good ally, then the other way around.

8. The Awkward AroAce

There’s nothing wrong with being aromantic asexual. There’s also nothing wrong with being autistic and struggling in social situations. There’s even nothing wrong with being both of those things at the same time. And some people are indeed like that.

But why does this seem to be the only way to write aroace characters? It’s such a stereotype.

Being aroace just don’t experience romantic and sexual attraction, it doesn’t mean you can’t make friends, or that you don’t know how to behave socially. Aside from their (lack of) sexual and romantic attractions, aroace people are just people and they come in a variety of personalities.

9. Queer Villains

I actually love queer villains.

In a lot of stories the villain is the most fun and interesting character them being queer is a way of reclaiming things that have been used to hurt us in the past (and still are, in some cases).

But it’s still pretty problematic when this is the only queer character in the work - whether explicitly or just in coding.

You can have a queer villain, but make at least one of your heroes queer too.

10. The Non-Human Non-Binary

I think it makes sense that some aliens, robots and otherwise non-human entities are nonbinary. Why would a robot have a human gender? Why would an alien race have the same exact gender and sex divisions as humans do?

But can we also get nonbinary representation in humans? Please? Because I don’t think that an alien is doing much to help us be more accepted, and might, in fact, be even more alienating. (ha-ha, alienating. Get it?)

To end this, because of the time we live in:

A list of organizations dedicated to helping Black people you can support.

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duckielover151 · 7 years

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Character Headcanons

So for day two of asexual awareness week, I want to talk a little about the type of characters that I like to headcanon as being a-spec or asexual. I know for a lot of people-- and I can sometimes include myself in this-- it can be fun or uplifting to headcanon all your favorite characters as identifying the way you do. But most of the time, I’m very particular about the types of characters that I want to see headcanoned as ace, and it all goes back to stereotypes.

I’ve always had one of those minds that’s, apparently, just really passive-aggressive. I’m not sure what else to call it. There are almost no absolutes in this world for me, because as soon as I start to process any sort of statement, my brain will immediately shift gears and point out all the exceptions to the rule being stated. It can be both a blessing and a curse. To me, at least, it feels like it’s the exceptions that tend to make the difference. It’s seeing something that fits the category that you wouldn’t expect that tends to get people’s attention and leave an impression. So it’s those characters-- the ones you wouldn’t expect-- that I most like to see representing the asexual community.

What stereotype(s) in particular am I referring to, you might be asking? Well, the most common characters I see headcanoned as ace are all the really socially awkward ones who have a hard time expressing themselves and understanding their own emotions or reading other people’s emotions. If there’s one character I see it with the most, it’s Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. A socially awkward genius who’s got the emotional capacity of a robot. Make no mistake. I’m sure there are plenty of aces out there who may love his character and be proud to think he represents us, but personally, it’s never sat well with me. It’s those “like a robot” characters that I have the most trouble with, because I can’t help but see it almost as a form of erasure. As a community, awareness IS one of our biggest struggles because we are so small and unheard of and many people who ARE aware of us don’t believe we actually exist or chalk it up to some sort of disorder. I think characters whose social and emotional capacities are akin to that of a machine get labeled as ace because it’s an easy way to distance asexuality from being real. It’s the underlying idea that feeling sexual attraction is a requirement, almost, for being human that I take issue with. Personality is not an automatic indicator of sexuality, and it doesn’t do anyone justice to only headcanon characters as the orientation that seems obvious for them.

On the heels of this are the characters who may be capable of showcasing a healthy, wide range of emotions that other people can relate to... but are often seen as too pure to experience sexual attraction. On this side of things, I put forth Captain America as one of the characters I least like to see portrayed as asexual. Because it tends to stem from the idea that he’s too good for sex or sexual desire, and I don’t think that’s a healthy way of promoting asexuality either. This one is especially interesting to me, because it shows the other side of the problem. This one is almost in opposition to the first claim that experiencing sexual attraction is just so universally “natural” that there must be something wrong with anyone who doesn’t. Sex and sexual attraction can be a tricky topic, and has been the unfortunate subject of extensive shaming throughout history. Make no mistake, I may not experience it myself, but I’ve always been a huge proponent of making sure people who do aren’t ashamed of those feelings. I, at least, have yet to meet someone who identifies as ace who thinks that being asexual makes them better than the average person. We’re not blessed with some sort of holy light that allows us to be free from temptations. We’re just different. And while we may take pride in our differences as part of our identity-- which everyone should be encouraged to do-- that doesn’t make us better. (So if that’s the thing that makes you uncomfortable with asexuality, you can put those worries and insecurities aside.)

Of course, when you add the actual canon story into the mix, things become a little more interesting, and sometimes a little more complicated. For example, one character that I headcanon as both asexual and demiromantic (or sometimes just flat out aromantic) is Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran High School Host Club. This may seem a little contradictory, because she could also be seen as an obvious choice for those headcanons. The line I draw is between knowing your headcanons are your own personal fantasies and believing your headcanons to actually be canon. In the case of Haruhi, I do believe these things about her to be canonically true, though no, it’s never explicitly stated. Which brings up another point of interest for me. When does a lack of explicit attraction count towards your argument of it being a matter of canon and not just headcanon? I’ve seen a lot of characters held up as being ace or aro just because they never show attraction to anyone. But in a show where there is no romance or anything, period, I don’t think it really counts. As long as that’s your argument, there are a lot of things about every character that go unaddressed, but that doesn’t count towards proof of anything. I see Haruhi as an exception, because Ouran is all about romance. To be surrounded by that atmosphere and still show no interest in anyone is what sets her apart and leads me to believe her asexuality is canon. So I think there’s a big difference in the characters that you headcanon a certain way just because... and the characters you headcanon in an attempt to prove that they are actually, canonically of that orientation.

I’m not gonna pretend I’m perfect. One character who I consistently headcanon as ace who fits all the stereotypes is Haru Nanase from Free! But most of the time, my favorite characters to headcanon as asexual are those super emotional and outgoing ones who no one would assume is ace. I think my main takeaway from my views on headcanons is that, if you want to consider yourself as being truly open, I ask that you test yourself. And this goes for me, too, and might seem a little contradictory. Those characters who don’t seem like a comfortable fit for a certain orientation... but don’t have any proof otherwise? Try headcanoning THEM, keeping their characters and motivations mostly the same, and see if it helps you to see anything different about that show or character or even yourself. And, what the hell, then go back and headcanon the ones who do seem perfectly suited to that role, because that’s what this post is really about. There are all sorts of people in this world. And sometimes the person that you’d totally expect to be ace (or any other orientation) does turn out to identify that way. Just don’t forget that no community is made up of ONLY the obvious cases.

Happy Asexual Awareness Week!

#asexual awareness week #day two #character headcanons

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ruffsficstuffplace · 7 years

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The Keeper of the Grove (Part 36)

Avalon.

A realm of some of the most powerful wellsprings to be found anywhere in the Aether.

A realm of life and wonders rarely seen elsewhere.

A realm of boundless potential, where your wildest dreams and fantasies have the best damn chance of becoming reality.

You could say that it was pretty much inevitable that you'd have people trying to fuck it up, locals and foreigners alike, which is why all of them tend to have some sort of agreement and organization trying to keep things in check, make sure that no one person or group can grab all that power, and do whatever the hell they'd like with it.

The Humans over at the West and North ends have the Triumvirate Treaty, the Acropolis Accord, and the Armed Forces of Avalon. The Eldan Fae have the Three Truths, and the Orders of the Watchers and the Seekers. The rest over in Celestion and some parts of Sekhmet have their own ways of making sure their streets are nice and orderly, ensure that there's no one actively trying to make it so that there's not a (mostly) free, safe, and sane Avalon tomorrow.

But sometimes, something or someone grows so powerful, so cunning, and so insidious that even if these three get over their differences and in-fighting to join forces, they won't stand a hope in hell of winning.

Sometimes, you need a new force altogether, a band of misfits and outcasts so different they couldn't give a shit about what the other guys are so long as they can help, who are the right mix of bravery and stupidity to charge headlong into danger, and never realize or just not give a fuck about how bad the odds really are.

In those times you need��

The Rune Rangers.

“Wow,” Weiss said, “you have your Uncle Qrow narrating everything?”

“We used to!” Ruby replied, “but now we just have a golem of him doing it, in case he can't be around. I can't sound as cool as him.”

“It's fucking ADORABLE when you do, though!” Yang said.

“Do we really have to him?” Weiss asked.

Hey! I'll have you know that no story of adventure, action, and world-threatening danger isn't complete without a handsome, well-spoken narrator with a sexy, sexy voice.

“I like him!” Ruby said.

“Punching magical bad guys to death isn't the same without Golem Qrow telling me how awesome I was, yeah,” Yang hummed.

<I've learned to ignore him,> Blake said, subtitles of what she said in Nivian popping up before Weiss' face.

“And I think it pays great homage to the inherently ridiculous and over-the-top nature of Rune Rangers!” Penny chirped.

4-1, princess—looks like you lose by majority vote.

Weiss sighed. “Fine. When do we stop being disembodied voices talking over a montage of stock footage?”

Right about… now.

Rune Terra, Somewhere in the Viridian Valley

Our brave heroes hoof it through the grossly incandescent halls of Rune Rangers' HQ, giving their newest member the grand tour.

Weiss and Blake groaned.

Get used to it; Yang's way worse.

“That I am~!”

Ruby was pointing out the various facilities as they passed them by. “… And that's the Training Room, where we can make pretty much prepare for any sort of situation, and also relive awesome battles again; next door is the Theater, where we can just watch them all over again, and sometimes review footage from our helmets' chronicles in case we missed something; and finally we have the Core, where we meet with our Guardian and get told about whatever's going down now!”

FYI, the “Guardian” is whoever gives the Rangers their powers, and makes sure they don't accidentally blow up the realm with them.

“Thanks Golem Qrow!”

It's what I'm here for, Rubes.

“I think you'll really like her!” Ruby said as she put her rune to the door, those big-ass slabs of carved rock sliding open. “After all, you know her already, kinda.”

Weiss shielded her eyes as bright light poured out of the Core, blinding her. A deep, echoing voice rang out from within, the sound of a woman who's replaced her lungs with liquid chocolate—the really good kind.

“Welcome to Rune Terra, Weiss! I, Eluna, formally and heartily welcome you to the Viridian Vanguard.”

The 24/7 light show that is Eluna's hair turns down a few notches, enough for Weiss to actually see her as they enter the chamber.

She stops, stares at her new boss with a dumbfounded look.

Maybe it's the fact that who she thought was just a myth is actually real, and she's not a literal white wolf, but a wolf Fae that also happens to be wearing the fur of a giant Lunar Wolf. (There's a not terrible, awful story behind all that, don't worry!) Maybe it's the aura of radiance, of authority, of power she's giving out, the kind of presence that only comes when you've been training constantly and growing stronger for the past couple of millennia. Or maybe it's the fact that she's about 7 feet tall and 300 or so pounds of pure muscle, flawless skin like caramel, and all her body-fat seems to be concentrated in that kickass rack of hers.

“Golem Qrow!” Ruby yelled.

What? It's true, isn't it?

“Fret not, I'm quite aware that seeing me in person can be a very overwhelming experience,” Eluna said, smiling. Her face turned deadly serious. “But I suggest you recover soon, for we've got a situation on our hands.”

Penny offered Weiss a drool rag to clean herself up with. She can't do anything about your face being on fire, though, sorry.

“Relax, princess,” Yang said, “everyone's got the hots for Eluna! Even asexual golems like Penny.”

“I do indeed,” Penny said. “She's such a fascinating Fae specimen!”

“Why does she look exactly like Guadalupe Garron...?” Weiss asked.

“Because I am her,” Eluna said. “Or more precisely, it's one of my many assumed identities over the centuries.”

Turns out there's something in you humans' brains that makes it infinitely easier to just accept that someone's wearing fake ears and a tail, than them being an animal person, let alone immortal and the actual Eluna.

“Indeed!” Eluna said. “I used to make my disguises much more complex, before I decided to walk into into the Nexus on the Eve of the Ether on a lark, and everyone wanted to know who made my 'costume,' how much it cost, and if they made designs of different animals. And don't get me started on when I lost a look-a-like competition at a convention...

“Talk of my adventures in immortality will have to wait, however, for we've got a much more urgent, dark business to attend to:

“Dr. Nefarious is back.”

A holo popped out of the crystal, the face of your stereotypical mad scientist: nose that puts bird beaks to shame, one eye larger than the other, completely bald, and with a face that looks like he's lived through a couple of strokes.

“Hello again, Rune Rangers!” he said with his awful, terrible voice—seriously, that sound should be illegal.

Weiss groaned. “Stop, stop, stop!”

The whole world around them froze, faded and washed out.

“Something the matter, Weiss?” Ruby asked.

“Are you serious with this villain?”

“Well, uh, yeah! Dr. Nefarious is kind of what we've been using all this time...”

“He looks and sounds like something a 3-year old would make as the Evil Villain of their story!”

“Ruby was actually 2 at the time,” Penny said. “Fae generally mature faster than humans in a lot of ways.”

Yang stepped up to her, looking a little pissed. “You have a better big bad in mind, princess?”

“Yes I do, actually!” Weiss said as she held out her hand. “Temporary admin privileges, please!”

Yang rolled her eyes, and gave it to her.

The world unfroze, colour seeped back in like me at last call for Happy Hour.

“… Or, at least, he was, until the man funding all of his crazy experiments finally decided to show himself,” Eluna said.

“That's quite enough, Dr. Nefarious,” Jacques Schnee said as the camera drone turned to him. “The… Rune Rangers, were you? I've recently gotten word that you've kidnapped my daughter, as you believed the foiling of my expedition was not enough.”

Freeze.

“Wait, wait, WAIT—you're making your own dad the Big Bad?” Yang asked.

Weiss turned to her. “Yes, do you have a problem with that?”

“Only if I can't punch him in the face!” Yang said, grinning.

“You can, but I get first strike.”

“How about we punch him together?”

“Deal.”

“Sweet. I'm starting to really like you, princess!”

<… Me too…> Blake said.

Unfreeze.

“We sent those men and women back to Candela unharmed, Jacques!” Ruby snapped. “Well, mostly unharmed, and it's not like you can't just give them cool robot limbs!”

Jacques scowled. “Those are still billions in equipment, contracts, and medical expenses I'm never recouping! Make no mistake, Rune Rangers: I will not let anything stop me from claiming that Valley and all its riches for the Company and Avalon!

“Not even you, Weiss.”

Weiss winced.

Too real, too soon?

She nodded.

Sorry. Rewind!

“… I will not let anything stop me from claiming the Valley and all its riches for the Company and Avalon! And though I sincerely hope you will come to your senses before it reaches that point, I will do my best to get you away from these terrorists, and back where you belong:

“Here, in Candela, safely in your room, and under the watchful eye and guidance of your father, like every child should be.”

Weiss scowled. “I'm never going back to you!”

Words in Nivian with an Actaeon translation popped up in front of Blake's face. She spent a few moments reading them, before she said, “Yeah! You... better close up shop while you're still in the black, Zhock, because we're fur… far… forecasting big lossesses in your next quarter report!”

Freeze.

Blake sighed, her ears drooping. <I was terrible, wasn't I…?>

“Terrible is right!” Weiss cried. “Those puns were awful!”

“Hey!” Yang yelled. “I worked hard on those! Legitimately!”

Blake blinked. <You mean I didn't totally butcher what I just said...?>

“You kinda really did,” Ruby said.

<Oh.>

Weiss put her hand on her shoulder. “Look, how about the next time I'm learning Actaeon with Penny, you help me, and in exchange, we help you with your Nivian?”

Blake smiled. <Sure.>

“Great! And to start you off, you can try saying this instead...”

Unfreeze.

Weiss scowled. “I'm never going to back you!”

“She's not your propereey, you monster!” Blake cried. Her eyes darted to Weiss.

“Close enough,” she mouthed.

“True, but she is still my daughter, and until the day she turns 18, the Acropolis Accord states that is my legal and moral responsibility to keep her away from corrupting influences like you.”

Yang snorted. “Hah! Like you're the poster-boy of Good Behaviour...”

Jacques scowled. “I tire of this. My second expedition into the Valley is just about to arrive—I suggest you surrender my daughter, and step aside before they have to mow you down, too.”

The holo disappeared as alarms began to flash.

Eluna frowned as she pulled up a map of the Valley. “I'd suggest you all hurry, this group looks MUCH better armed than the first.”

“We'll take care of it, Ellie!” Ruby cried. “We're the Rune Rangers, we've got this!”

Eluna smiled. “I know you do.” She walked over to Weiss, a frown on that pretty face of hers. “Weiss, I am so sorry your first mission pits you against your own blood...”

“Don't be; I've always wanted to stick it to my father in a way he can't ignore.”

“Then do not let your rage cloud your judgment,” Eluna snapped. “It'd be DANGEROUSLY ironic if our Sapphire Ranger, the embodiment of Wisdom, does something incredibly stupid in the heat of the moment.”

She pressed a sapphire gem into her hand, funky symbols carved into its face.

“This Rune is but a key to the power that lies within you, Weiss—within all of you. Guard it well, for it has been far too long since it has had an owner.”

“Wait, what?” Yang said. “What happened to Lifi?”

Eluna's face contorted in confusion. “Who is this 'Lifi' you speak of?”

Yang slowly turned her eyes over to Ruby, who was totally, absolutely acting completely natural standing there stock still, beads of sweat slowly dripping down her face.

“Who is Lifi?” Weiss asked, looking at her, too.

“'Lifira' was what we named the golem we used in place of a fifth member, should Ren or Nora not be available,” Penny explained.

“Yeah, and we totally don't need to use her anymore since we've got Weiss now!” Ruby yelled. “How about we all teleport out of here, guys?” her rune appeared in her hand. “That new expedition could be trying to find some parking spots in shade like right now!”

Yang grabbed her wrist and stopped her she could raise her arm all the way into the sky. <Oh, Ruby... my dear, darling little sister Ruby, you are not getting out of this that easily~!>

<Nope!> Yang chirped. She turned to Weiss. “Weiss, get ready to meet your predecessor, the former Sapphire Ranger who is also totally not Ruby's golem girlfriend:

“Lifira!”

A flash of blue light appeared, spiraling downwards around a figure who was quickly forming back into existence…

“Hi!” a pale-skinned, white-haired, amethyst-eyed human girl about Ruby's age said. “My name's Lifira, but you can call me Lifi! Nice to meet you.”

#rwby #white rose #fanfic #the keeper of the grove

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