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#This is a theory and I am by no means at a level of schooling where I could make a diagnosis
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I believe Mahiru has Schizophrenia
(Go to third paragraph if you want to skip my prefaces and meandering. I also put a fairly simple to understand DSM-5 criteria screenshot from one of my textbooks for schizophrenia near the bottom)
Admin Saturn here post Mahiru drop, I’m sure others will have either similar or very contrasting thoughts on this but I thought I’d offer my own perspective on it as a psych major and a person with a family member who has schizophrenia. She definitely shows a lot of symptoms of schizophrenia which of course doesn’t necessarily mean this is what they’re intending to portray with her, nor a good portrayal, but I want to put my thoughts out here.
I also want to say that I’m most familiar with schizophrenia and this could very easily fall into a different psychotic disorder I’m less familiar with so I’ll be doing some research into those to either rule out other possibilities or hone in more on a potential schizophrenia portrayal.
Starting with the most basic, she’s near the typical age of onset for schizophrenia in women which is mid 20s to early 30s. (although of course theres a very broad range)
Going on to criteria A. To start there are three ‘main criteria’ that are often the most telling for people with schizophrenia. These include 1. delusions, 2. hallucinations, and 3. disorganized speech. I would say mahiru definitely meets delusions and hallucinations based on this MV. 
While auditory hallucinations are the most common, and having fully formed and incredibly all encompassing visual hallucinations like the ones depicted in her MV are very uncommon, milgram depicts very specific and intriguing cases. The fact that all the prisoners hear our voices also makes it difficult to be able to tell if she might experience auditory hallucinations as well, but it’s something I’ll be looking out for. 
To say more on delusions (and keep in mind I’m reporting all this in a very simplified version sans context because theres a lot about delusions within psychotic disorders. And also this is just with just a quick refresher from a previous textbook) there are a few kinds. Mahiru would be expressing erotomanic type where you believe a person is madly in love with you and you two were meant to be together. This is most often experienced in relation to celebrities but again, milgram tries to take looks at the most ‘intriguing’ cases.
The other criteria are 4. grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior and 5. negative symptoms. Schizophrenia can be thought of as having negative and positive symptoms. Positive symptoms are things like hallucinations and delusions that add a nonreal experience where negative symptoms reduce a typical experience/self expression. (again, simplified) So some negative symptoms a person could experience would be reduced affect or a lack of pleasure from everyday activities. I don’t see her having any reduced affect but I could definitely see her having grossly disorganized behavior.
Grossly disorganized behavior includes not understanding you have a problem (specifically in a lacking insight way), another thing is cognitive slippage where a person will jump from topic to topic or talk illogically. While we haven’t seen her have these symptoms recently, the deterioration of her notebook entries could be an attempt to show the audience this.
A person must have at least 2 of these 5 symptoms.
She also def meets criteria B (worsened hygiene at the very least which doesn’t even bring in how much these actions likely impacted the other aspects of her life)
I can’t say for sure with C, D, or E, however F I can say has been met.
Something important to note is that it’s hard to tell if Mahiru would meet the criteria of experiencing this for the past 6 months. We don’t know how long she was holding him captive (although I think from the wear it looks like he experienced it was longer than the few days expressed in her journal) but it’s still difficult to know. If she hasn’t, it would be important to look into schizophreniform which is a shorter version of it and brief psychotic disorder which is an even shorter version. These can have a better long term prognosis.
In regards to outcomes that people with schizophrenia can experience long term with treatment vary. Unfortunately, many people never make a full recovery and continue to experience symptoms, especially those who never receive treatment. Schizophrenia is typically considered a chronic disorder. They typically benefit most from a structured inpatient facility with good care and this is a disorder where med compliance is one of the number 1 things that can impact recovery. However, that definitely doesn’t mean they can’t. With med compliance, a good support system as well as coping skills and frequent checkups symptoms can severely lessen to almost disappear. Especially with schizophreniform and brief psychotic disorder, there are a lot of cases where a person can experience one case of it and never have these symptoms again (although it is also a very big risk factor for a later schizophrenia diagnosis)
Another thing to consider going forward in regards to being able to ask her questions would be asking about childhood and family history. Schizophrenia is highly hereditary and there are also some early flags in childhood that include atypical beliefs or some of the negative symptoms.
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From a personal standpoint, I would also say that my family member expresses a lot of floaty whimsical type ideas. Not quite in the Mahiru love way but it has similar vibes? I don’t quite know how to describe it because it’s such a specific mannerism but it’s just another coincidence I thought I would add.
Theres always the availability heuristic and I know a lot about schizophrenia and it’s something I think about a lot more than the average person. However, I do feel that she meets a lot of criteria and I’ll definitely be looking for more signs.
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1o1percentmilk · 10 months
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i actually think hatori is more of an electrical/hardware engineer than an informatics/information technology/software engineering person
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daz4i · 9 months
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i know aging isn't the end of the world and 24 isn't that old and life isn't a race etc etc etc. however,
#i think a big reason i feel so bad abt being this age is ppl told me this is when things start to get better#and i still feel the same way i did as a teenager so. well. is it really 😐#(being on t probably isn't helping but it's been over 3 years already so... not an excuse i think)#but I'm also physically aging like the reason i barely upload selfies anymore is i see myself getting uglier every day#despite fighting for my life to at least take care of my face and hair...... can't fight the passage of time 😔#+ ofc. my (younger) friends being way more sorted out than i am on every level#again ik life isn't a race but. it can't help but hurt to know I'm still behind literally everyone i know#and my excuses for that aren't even good. bc other disabled ppl my age are also more sorted out than i am#other depressed ppl other borderlines other autistics etc etc. hell these are also my irl friends 😭#and it's dumb. bc feeling like i wasted my life isn't really pushing me to change that now. just makes me want to die even more#(bc i mean what's the point. i will never catch up. I'm still at the starting line AND i move so slow it doesn't even count)#(i don't have a single milestone ppl my age have not even finishing high school which is like. the bare minimum)#(and it sucks bc i also know i have potential i KNOW i can do shit in theory i know I'm smart and got skills. but i can't put it to use)#(and now this is turning into less of a thing abt age and just generally me talking abt how i wasted the last 24 years)#this was more of a stressed rant abt how I'm turning ugly and feeling super old but well. it all boils down to self loathing at the end 👍#vent#negative //#ask to tag#sorry for being so depressing all day oof ik i already said it before but it's been a rough couple of months#(nothing happened my brain just needs to get flushed down the toilet ^_^)#edit: i think. part of my panic about aging. is bc as a kid i was used to being the youngest everywhere#i was the youngest in my class bc i started school a year early. i was the youngest in acting school bc they don't normally accept teenagers#and in addition to that as an adult but before starting t i was always told that i LOOK young too#but now ik i look like I'm in my 20s. and it's killing me that i aged this much in so little#i wonder if shaving my beard will help but i don't wanna get misgendered 😐😐😐 and rn it's the only thing guarding me from that
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emile-hides · 1 year
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They were not kidding, you really can go anywhere anytime in this game huh
#Emile's Arts#Pokemon Scarlet#Guess who may have cheesed a jump you're not supposed to make until after you unlock the rideable legendary#And then proceeded to get creamed by a Dunsparce#Not to worry my starter was already level 13 and he handled it marginally better#(was able to run away)#Besties I am SO lost ALL THE TIME in this game#I got lost in the swsh wild area you think I can play a whole GAME BUILT LIKE THAT#It's me an Pachirisu against the world here I have no clue where I am any of the time#I don't like it I don't get the love for open world games I feel so lost and like I'm making no progress ever#And I'm scared to interact with anyone or anything because what if it's 40 levels above me how could I possibly know#I have a route planned but I still get the liner game itch to search every nook and crany for items and stuff#Also I'm broke is anyone else just??? Broke???? All The Time in this game???? What's up with that????#Every time the game gives me a pop up that I can go back to school and take a class I get so happy#YES! A SMALL SPACE WITH LIMITED MOVEMENT OPTIONS AND CLEAR GOALS#Take me to school I do not want to do the treasure hunt#Grandpa PLEASE let me stay in school#I have basically all the Pokemon I want at this point I already have a team of 5#No idea who the 6th should be I want it to be the sushi dragon fish but they aren't till late late game huh#I mean I guess in THEORY you can go get one whenever you want that's the point of open world games huh#But it's still a level 50 wild Pokemon and I am just now getting my team to their 20's soooooo#Pass....#Yo the map turning to match what direction your facing is there a way to??? Turn that off????#Can I lock the map or something PLEASE????
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nebulainatree · 1 year
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I need to speak Japanese right now. Just found something and I can't tell for sure whether or not it confirms agent eight is the octoling in side order because I don't speak it well enough and can't read Japanese kanji at all . God damn it
Edit: By the way no it doesn't confirm it. Forgot to mention that outside of tags because I'm inflicted with the status condition "insane" rn. Holy shit I hit tag limit I didn't even know they had a tag limit.
#Going to liveblog my agony watching a Japanese analysis video of the new dlc#I accidentally stumbled onto it trying to see if the Japanese version of the direct had better audio for the City of Color remix#And now I'm going crazy absolutely. Bonkers.#Ok so they touched up mentioning that it's probably a reference to the splatopocalypse fest and the guy said she looks a little like marina#But I think the girl mentioned that she has shorter tentacles so it's probably not marina#So that was a net zero information gain#But here they've got something calling side order the story of the octopus from agent eight. Wait that phrase doesn't make sense#Shit what is that kanji. Fuck. Shit I didn't hear how he said it#Toujou suru??? Is that. I think that means comes out. The .#Tako no hachi go ga toujou suru saido oodaa mo#Ok that's uhhhhhhhhhhhh. The octoling of agent eight will also come out in side order#Fuck is this canon or did they write that#Ohhhh I think it's from famitsu#Ok I just checked famitsu they do call her eight so. Not a confirmation that it's eight but that seems to be the prevailing theory#Oh they literally just said it isn't official#Is the sango they're talking about coral or agent three?????? Question of the day. I think they're saying coral here#Snow like coral and that the stage is really white. Yeah ok#Ok I have no idea what they're saying anymore I don't know these words.#Help I am working on less than two years of formal Japanese education and it's all from the high school level#I think they said it seems like it's underwater because of the fish that swim by in that one scene but. Idk for sure actually.#My head hurts it's 4am I need to stop doing this actually. Liveblog over#This isn't even a liveblog. That involves posting more than one message this is just tag ranting#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatoon 3 dlc#text tag#Nebbie posts#Nebbie text posting#Send fucking post#Oh btw the video was called uh. 【考察】〇〇に支配された世界? 誰かの影が見えている!(it was a longer title) on the channel splabo!
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𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄
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summary: the human custom of sharing clothes had been an unfamiliar one for jade, but he has always been a quick study
pairing: jade leech x gn! reader (both have graduated nrc, but a lot of this is reliving school memories)
warnings: fluff, implied smaller reader; i think it made more sense in my head but have it anyway bc i never wanna shut up about him, please applaud my restraint to not name this ‘boyfriend material’
twisted wonderland masterlist
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It was true that wearing clothes was a foreign feeling when Jade first came to the shore all those years ago. But he had come to like the human custom, no matter how tedious it might seem at times. Not only did he realise the way one dressed held a lot of power in the way one was perceived by others, it had also served him in making some fond memories.
The ones he remembered most vividly, however, were those which featured you at the centre of them. Through various means, like the course they had attended or familiarising himself with different types of media above sea level, Jade had learnt that sharing clothes was a thing done between close friends or romantic partners, often being hailed as a sweet gesture and being positively received by characters and audiences alike. So when you had caught the eel’s interest, he had decided to see what the fuss was all about.
Despite his tendency to curate situations which would bring about whatever outcome he desired, the first time the opportunity arose had been a happy coincidence. That day, it had started raining cats and dogs right as the bell signalling lunch break rang. Luckily, Jade’s last class of the morning had been in the building the cafeteria was in, so he could watch in amusement as students swarmed towards the building with various forms of rain repellent keeping them dry- or not.
You had been one of the poor, unfortunate souls who had left their umbrella at the dorm that day, a point made abundantly clear by the way you had sprinted with your PE uniform jacket held over your head in a feeble attempt of shielding yourself. By the time you had made it into the dry hallway, your jacket had been absolutely drenched, the rest of your clothes not faring much better. Witnessing your predicament and seeing a chance to put his theory to the test, Jade had slinked over to your side.
“Oya, if I had known you were this fond of water, I would have invited you to the Coral Sea before,” the eel had said, startling you with his sudden appearance. Your reaction had only served for the polite smile on his lips to grow a tad bit wider. “Yet, here I was under the impression humans don’t like getting their clothes wet. Perhaps I have been wrong?”
“You know well enough this wasn’t intentional, so drop the oblivious act, Jade,” you had sighed, rustling through your backpack for something and subsequently taking your eyes off him. “So what do you want? If you’re trying to rope me into a deal over a little bit of rain, I’ll have to disappoint–”
Something warm and dry had landed on your shoulders then, your gaze landing on the black fabric draped over your form first and wandering back to the tall student afterwards. With your mouth parted, opening and closing in the search of something to say, you had borne a strong resemblance to a fish out of water.  
“I heard humans get sick easily after walking in the rain,” Jade had mused, tugging at his vest and shirt to make sure they sat correctly without his blazer, “and we wouldn’t want that, would we?”
“What are you–” You had shaken your head, overcoming your initial confusion as you began shrugging the jacket back off your shoulders. At that point you had been sure he had some ulterior motive and you hadn’t felt like picking up any shifts at Mostro Lounge that week. “I can’t take this from you.”
“Oh, but you can,” he had insisted with a smile, a gloved hand landing on your shoulder to keep the clothing in place. “If you are worried about my health, I am most touched. However, us mers are used to the cold and therefore aren’t as prone to catching one.”
“That wasn’t really what I was concerned about,” you had mumbled, crossing your arms. “I’m more worried about whatever strings come attached with this thing.”
“You wound me. Do you really think I would abuse my fellow student’s misery for personal gain?” Despite his words, he had chuckled at your resolute ‘yes, you would’. The hand on your shoulder had pressed into your upper back then to bring you in closer in order to throw you off with the newfound proximity, disguised as shielding you from the throng of people heading to lunch. “If this is what stands in between you and caring for your health, how about this: In return for accepting my blazer, you accompany me to lunch? I’ll consider us even then, I promise.”
You had studied the vice housewarden more closely, yet, as usual, his expression did not give anything away. Just then a chilly breeze had blown through the corridor, making you tremble as you instinctively pulled the blazer tighter around your body. 
“Fine, I’ll accept,” you had relented through chattering teeth.
“Wonderful,” the eel had beamed down at you before guiding you forward, still with his fingers splayed over your upper spine. Students had parted like the sea when they had seen the second year approaching and it was a welcome change of pace from having to fight your way into a spot in the queue.
By the time you had found a table, you had slipped your arms through the sleeves of Jade’s jacket to better hold your tray. And when you rolled up the excess fabric to properly use your cutlery, Jade finally realised why lending someone your clothes was a popular trope in various media. 
To say the piece was ill-fitting was an obvious remark, with Jade easily being one of the tallest students around, you were practically drowning in his jacket. It had been eye-openingly endearing for him to say the least. And that was even without factoring in the expression on people’s faces when they realised whose clothes you had been wearing, the Octavinelle band around your left arm added to the context of the scene being a dead giveaway. Yes, as a born predator of the sea, a possessive side of him had revelled in the feeling of staking his claim over you in this way.
But he had shoved the notion down as you had asked him if he liked the food that day and how his morning had been. While he had been able to tell you were still a little wary, cautiously phrasing your responses at first, falling into a casual conversation with you was easy enough. When the anecdote of his brother doing something reckless again made you snort before laughing, he had filed it away as something he wanted to see and hear more of, especially when he was the cause for it.
Lunch had passed a little too fast for the moray’s liking but with one glance at his watch and then one at the still pouring rain, he had quickly devised a plan to monopolise your time to the fullest before returning to your classes.
“Allow me to walk you back to your dorm, so you can change before your next lesson,” Jade had smiled as he pulled out his umbrella, his arm hovering around your back as you had exited the cafeteria. “I assure you, this favour comes with no strings attached.”
Looking back at it years later, perhaps that last part had been a lie, though he was sure neither of you minded. Because after that rainy day, you had interacted more frequently with pleasantly changed feelings. 
On Jade’s side of things, he had been more fascinated with you and your reactions than ever and the image of you swaddled in his clothes had managed to stir these newfound emotions in him. You, on the other side, had started considering him as more than a devious loan eel and allowed the normally tightly locked thoughts and feelings for him to come out of their confinement little by little.
After playing cat and mouse for a while, you had taken all your courage, grabbed Jade by the collar and confessed, not able to withstand the tension and anticipation any longer.  Of course, he had reciprocated your feelings in teasing delight, which, as your relationship had become public, had easily catapulted you up the list of the school’s lunatics in the eyes of many. But you couldn’t have been happier and, the initial complexities of navigating a new relationship aside, Jade was a dream of a boyfriend if he wasn’t hellbent on prodding and poking you for his own amusement.
So it came as no surprise that, during your school years, you had spent a lot of time at each other’s dorms when Jade wasn’t dragging you up some mountain with him. At that point, you’d felt as comfortable in his room as in yours, even if half of it was shared with the sentient tornado that was Floyd, leaving one half to be pristine and the other opposingly messy. 
Jade fondly remembered the day you had come over to study for your upcoming potionology exam, your own dorm room too loud to concentrate and hoping to rope the merman into helping you with your prep questions, especially as his brother had been absent from their room that evening. While many regarded him as the sly and conniving one in the relationship, Jade had to admit you were very good at playing your cards right to where he found it increasingly hard to deny you. Perhaps this cheekiness was one of the things that drew him to you.
Considering you had given up on studying in your room pretty much immediately and had only grabbed your books before marching over to Octavinelle, you had still been in uniform when you joined him at his desk. Ever observant, Jade had quickly noticed the way you subconsciously pulled at the clothes or squirmed in your seat trying to get comfortable. 
So being the amazing and reliable boyfriend that he was, he had fished some comfortable loungewear out of his closet; he had initially bought it to round out his collection of essential clothing items, though frankly, he didn’t wear it much himself. With no plans to work at the Lounge that night, he had thought that it might be a good chance to give the comfy clothes another shot.
In retrospect, maybe he should thank your uncomfortable uniform. 
When you had both changed into the loungewear, he had not only been amused by the way the shirt, which was a regular fit for him, engulfed your upper body or how you had rolled up the ends of his sweatpants. With some playful huffs at his teasing, you had gone back to work until you had finished writing your study notes, at which point you had relocated to his bed, Jade joining you soon after.
Sitting side by side, your boyfriend had taken to quizzing you to see how much you had retained until he had felt your head drop against his shoulder, which was the first time he had taken note of how late it had gotten. For a few moments he had done nothing but study the way your chest rose and fell with deep breaths, your slightly parted lips inviting him to trace his thumb over the curve of them in featherlight reverence. To think that he of all morays would ever be treated to such a peaceful fragment of mundanity, it had made a warmth tug at his heart the same way the waves rolled over the shore in a calming rhythm, which persisted to this day.
It had pained him to wake you again, so could get ready for bed, persuading you sweetly into staying the night. Though he regretted neither getting to see your half asleep face while you had brushed your teeth, nor how he had been able to pull you close to him under the covers, curling his arms around you as his fingers had wandered over the warmth of your skin under his clothes. 
In the comfortable darkness of his room, you had exchanged hushed whispers and murmured confessions as you had settled in his embrace, lulled to sleep by the steady beating of his heart and the lips that  had spelled promises of safety and adoration against your skin. And for Jade, tugged deep into the crevice of his heart, there had formed the image of a future where this domesticity was normality. 
Years later, after graduation, Jade could proudly claim that this fantasy now lived at the forefront of his heart, that he could fall asleep and wake up to your body next to his, cradled by the allure of forever. After all, for no one but those closest to him would he be up with the rising sun to prepare breakfast, humming under his breath as he relived those memories. Though he considered all his efforts paid off when he heard you shuffle into the kitchen before two arms wrapped around his middle and your head leaned against his spine. 
“Good morning to you too, pearl,” Jade chuckled as finished plating the eggs on two plates, then knowingly slid a fresh cup of coffee within your reach. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did, until someone decided to just leave me all by my lonesome,” you grumbled, detaching yourself from him so you could lean against the counter and take a sip of coffee, prepared perfectly to your liking. “I like seeing my beautiful husband’s face first thing in the morning but alas…”
As you stepped into his field of vision, Jade noticed you had chosen not to wear a piece of clothing of yours, but had instead plucked his black dress shirt from the chair he had draped it over the day prior. His dress shirt and nothing else. While it was long enough on you to hide what was for his eyes only, it still showed off the beautiful curve of your legs, ending tantalisingly around your thighs. The few buttons you had closed still displayed the sharp contrast between your collarbones and the softness of the skin peeking through below. It would be all too easy to slip the garment from your shoulder…
“That does seem rather unfair,” Jade agreed as he stepped in front of you, hands ghosting along the expanse of your thighs to rest at your waist, the look in his eyes reminding you of his origins and sending shivers of excitement down your spine. “If you allow me, I have a few ideas in mind on how to make it up to you.”
Within the blink of an eye, his hands had steeled their grip around your waist and lifted you to sit on the counter as he took the opportunity to stand between your legs. Then, with a gentleness which did not match the show of strength, he carefully cupped the back of your head in his palm and connected your lips in a kiss as light and soft as the golden rays bathing your kitchen in light. Your own hands busied themselves with tousling his bed head once again, slowly sliding his black lock behind his left ear as you parted from one another, like a painter putting the finishing strokes on their magnum opus.
“Hm, I might be able to be convinced about forgiving you,” you teased, the lovestruck look in your eyes mirroring his as you slung your arms over his shoulders and crossed them behind his neck in an effort to be even closer to him. 
“I must be the luckiest man alive,” he mused, meaning every word of his playful response.
Yes, after living on land for so long, Jade had truly taken a liking to the human custom of wearing clothes and all the different possibilities it held. Then again, the fondness those memories held probably had nothing to do with the clothes at all.
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prince-kallisto · 2 months
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Crowley’s Magical Aura in NRC
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I’ve been rewatching Book 7 to refresh myself for theories, and something most intriguing caught my eye. When Meleanor is killed by the Knight of Dawn, Lilia and Baul automatically realize she’s dead because her magical power has disappeared. In this scene, they are all the way at Maleficia’s Black Scale Castle.
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Now, I don’t have a good map of there distance between Wild Rose and Black Scale Castle, but that is a generous distance for magic power, isn’t it? Silver has to climb up an entire mountain, and yet Lilia and Baul could sense Meleanor’s magic from all the way from there (likely to due her storm). Perhaps sensing this magic is unique to Fae, or just powerful mages in general, but… then it made me think of Crowley.
Throughout the entire main game, there is very little mention of Crowley’s magical ability. Only small hints in the manga are shown, like him summoning a barrier to protect the students during Riddle’s Overblot. It’s only recently from Crowley’s SSR card and the Magic Assault Practice Event that we find out that he’s very, very powerful- and hasn’t shown a mere fraction of his ability yet. But again, no one comments on his magical aura/power.
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In Crowley’s vignette, he gets mocked by some students saying that they’ve never seen him use magic and think him to be weak- someone they don’t have to be scared of. But Crowley’s Whip of Love binds all three of them, and their magic is useless against his whip. And to Crowley, this level of magic is “easier than breathing” (similar to a comment Malleus says). But yet again, his magic has never been commented on before- not even by the Lilia or Malleus who are fellow Fae (if sensing a Fae’s magical aura is only exclusive to Fae). Credit to Otome Ayui for translations 💖🐦‍⬛
But…then I started thinking: What if that isn’t the case at all? What if Crowley’s magical aura is SO powerful, that it covers the entirety of NRC?
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In the Terror is Trending Halloween event, Lilia and the ghosts explain that seeing ghosts in Twisted Wonderland is extremely rare because they can only be seen by others in very specific conditions. It’s to the point that Lilia describes their forms being very unstable in the corporeal realm. However, NRC is one of the very few places IN THE WORLD where ghosts have completely stable forms. Why, it’s to the point that a majority of the school staff are ghosts, like the kitchen staff!
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But it is then explained that NRC is “magically suffused,” the land practically bathed in magic. I was so curious about the choice for the word “suffuse” that I got out the dictionaries and even checked two fan translations! 🤣 But “suffuse” implies the magic is spread out/over the land, and Ekala translated it to being unusually high concentrations of magic. It’s even better that it’s Lilia of all characters saying this, as I feel he’d have a better knowledge of these things.
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So…I am beginning to think that like Meleanor, Crowley’s magical power can be detected from far away. But his magic and NRC’s magic has become practically indistinguishable. He has essentially “suffused” everything inside NRC with magic, to the point that ghosts are perfectly stable, which means Crowley could hire ghosts all he wants. In the manga, Crowley even has the ability to call/summon the ghosts. And if HIS magic is what’s helping them stay in the corporeal realm at NRC, it makes so much sense if he can “summon” them because they’re already relying on his magic!
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This is from an older theory of mine, and I am aware that at the time (and probably still is LMAO) it was considered a crack theory/joke. But I’m still holding on to the concept that the coffins/gates in NRC are floating because of Crowley’s magic, where also in the Halloween event it was mentioned that only the entirety of the Diasomnia dorm could keep their Halloween decorations floating because of their strong magical power. I’m also beginning to think that the portraits and even sketches of people can move/talk because of the sheer magical power in NRC, but that’s something to elaborate on later.
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I’d additionally like to tie in Ray and I’s “Piece of my World” theory, where we think Crowley has Realm Dominance-related magic, a type of ancient magic we’ve only seen extremely powerful Fae like Malleus has. To me, it’s extremely relevant that each dorm is set in its own unique pocket dimensions, which is something we’ve never seen or even been mentioned outside of NRC before. Check that theory out for more elaboration! ^_^
But isn’t this a strange string of coincidences? That there’s all these mysterious occurrences at NRC that everyone takes for granted but can’t explain why these things are the way they are? What if no one has been able to detect Crowley’s magic because…the students are *living* in it 24/7? If Crowley has really created the pocket dimensions for the dorms, that even strengthens this idea! How can you distinguish his magic when it’s all around you, to the point that the very land is steeped in magic?
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It could be that the entirety of Sage’s Island is one of those special lands that imbued with magic, like we see in Briar Land in Book 7. But we don’t see any ghosts outside of NRC (like in the Port Fest events) which makes me doubt this. I doubt that ghosts are prominent in RSA as well- but that’s not confirmed. The only other ghosts we’ve seen outside the school is in the Dwarf’s Mine, where there are magestones and nature faires- which implies the land has good magic for the ghosts to be visible from. Translation credits to GasMask 💖🐦‍⬛
Anyway, I digress. I have *a lot* I want to say about the NRC barrier specifically , but I thought of this when working on that theory which is coming soon (´∀`*) I still feel concerned about the possibility of something happening to Crowley, because I feel any damage done to him would affect the entirety of NRC itself,,,
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Text
Hazbin Hotel Ep 5&6 Oh My God (Major Spoilers)
I am having so many thoughts, this is just a brain dump
-LUCIFER. He’s so pathetic I love him
-Jeremy Jordan you fucking legend. I’m a big fan of a lot of his work and was excited to see him in this but I was slightly unsure if he was the right casting since I expected Lucifer to be more of a high and mighty/snobby figure, but with the way they characterised him HE IS PERFECT.
-“TAKE THAT DEPRESSION”
-The Lucifer vs Alastor rivalry is beautiful
-“Ha ha, fuck you.”
-Father figure Alastor
-HIS EARS GO BACK LIKE A CAT WHEN HES ANGRY I CANT
-MIMZY’S ARRIVAL. I know most of us know the lore about her and Alastor being developed as a couple before it was scrapped but I really like how they are in the show
-Even if it’s just crumbs I’m so excited to be getting snippets of Alastor’s lore. It’s wild to keep going back and forth between “aw he actually cares for and protects his friends” and “oh my god he’s a fucking psycho”
-Speaking of that the scene with Husk holy shit. Poor man looked terrified
-The confirmation that Alastor’s also stuck working for someone, it has to be Lilith surely. I know some people will call it predictable because a lot of theories are coming true but personally I think it’s from good worldbuilding/foreshadowing
-ALASTOR IN FULL DEMON FORM JUST ANNIHILATING EVERYONE and then he just goes “Ah that was fun, now back to it”
-I kinda like the parallel between Al and Mimzy & Angel and Cherri where they invite their friends to join them if they want to, even if neither of them take it up initially maybe we’ll see them join the hotel in the future?
-BABY CHARLIE
-I really expected Lucifer to be a dickhead and a shitty dad, but he seems to be an overall better guy than most people in hell
-CHERRI BOMB ARRIVAL! And she’s Aussie now fuck yeah represent
-I still love her and Angel’s friendship even if she is a terrible influence. Everyone’s got that friend who’s solution to a bad day is just self-destruction but they mean well at least
-DARREN CHRIS TOO, THE MUSICAL THEATRE/BROADWAY ACTOR CASTING IS STACKED
-Emily is so sweet I love her
-The Molly cameo is so sweet, I was waiting for her to appear somewhere but lowkey forgot she was in heaven. Honestly though how did she get there when the rest of her and Angel’s family got condemned for what they did together? Maybe she left the mob or something idk I just hope we get to meet her properly at some point
-Heaven’s real fucked up? Yeah not shocked
-VAGGIE?? FALLEN ANGEL REVEAL?? AND SHE WAS AN EXTERMINATOR???? I know most of us called it but holy shit I didn’t expect it to be confirmed this soon
-Adam is such a dick but he’s so much fun
-I love that Charlie was gonna start her court presentation with definitions like a high school essay
-“Consent is a good name for a sex club” the gentleman Husk truthers gonna have fun with this one
-Pentious hitting on Cherri is hilarious and totally not the same level of subtlety I flirt with when I’m drunk
-Hearing more and more about how Val treats Angel is so sad especially with how casually he talks about it since it’s just another day for him
-Him parenting drunk Nifty is beautiful
-“You wanna play with the kitty?”
-Valentino is my #1 enemy
-Seeing Angel stand up to him to protect his friends is making me feel feelings. Like he knows that he’s gonna be treated even worse for it but I think he’s reaching his tipping point and shits gonna go down soon
-Also I know there’s a popular theory that he’s gonna die soon and a lot of the theories are coming true so I am scared. I kind of don’t think this one’ll happen though since he’s the fan favourite and its just too soon to take that much of a risk. Plus Vivsie’s admitted he’s the best written character and it’d be such a waste of all that development
-More sweet moments between him and Husk, they’ve gotten me so invested in this ship so fast
-The fact that most of heaven didn’t know about the extermination?? Wild
-Idk how I feel about the timeskip between Ep 4&5, they’re only a month away from the extermination now. Yes it’s making the stakes feel higher but I do wish we’d been able to see more of that time for the relationship development, all the characters seem much closer than before and we’ve only seen bits of how they got there
-I really wish they’d greenlit more than 8 episodes to pace things a little better but I’m glad we have season 2 confirmed
-That last minute ‘reveal Vaggie’s past to Charlie, boot them out of heaven and then cut to credits before she can react’ is gonna torture me until next week
-I don’t disagree with past criticism that Vivzie’s female characters can feel a bit underwritten but I think it’s getting better
-“We’re coming to the hotel first” plus all the theories that someone’s gonna die are fucking stressing me out man
Anyway hope you enjoy the brain dump, this show has once again consumed my thoughts
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tenthgrove · 1 month
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Reverse Engineering the OIAR Tagging System
I'm not the first to theorise that the tagging system is important - this post is inspired by the person who noticed that Needles and Bonzo share both a CAT and an R tag.
This is an incomplete attempt to decode the entire system for theorising purposes. Unfortunately, I was not able to figure it out as thoroughly as I hoped but I'm sharing it here in hope others can make observations. Here is the table:
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For those who want a better look, or cannot see the image due to screen-reader use, here is a google document with the same table: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Wc4COCMHdwKz6N-KawvMOs4Y3k3W6Kq-NDhZ7brcRLg/edit?usp=sharing
So, my observations thus far:
CAT (probably short for categories)
There are four categories so far- 1, 2, 3 and 23.
Needles, both Bonzo statements and the very first statement are the only CAT 1s so far.
Needles and Bonzo are likely to be major recurring characters, so this could suggest the creature in the first statement (which to me gives distortion vibes) may also be.
Alternatively, CAT could suggest danger. Needles and Bonzo are serial killers, while the CAT 3 statements tend to refer to very old or contained objects, so perhaps these are less dangerous? The only gap in this theory is InkSoul being CAT 3, which makes little sense given their livestreaming. Unless... could InkSoul be dead?
Generally, but not absolutely, newer statements tend to be closer to CAT 1, and older statements closer to CAT 3. Bonzo and Needles both referred to statements taken days before the episode dropped. Again, this isn't an absolute rule and the first statement is again the odd one out.
What I absolutely cannot figure out is CAT 23. I thought it was a typo until I encountered it again for Ep 11. It clearly means something special. Unlike for the R system, I don't think it means between categories 2 and 3, because the statements we get are both quite important. We'll probably have to wait for more episodes to figure this one out.
R (probably short for rank)
This is the one I'm more sure about. I believe it indicates 'grades' of some measure, like school grades. A is best, B is after that, and so on.
I think AB and BC are borderline grades.
Ep 3 and 4 (plant boy and violin man) do not have an R tag. My working theory is that this indicates the statements are below a grade C.
So what does R actually grade? Again, it could be importance (assuming that isn't what CAT means), or usefulness to the institute, but then why is our known external Mr Bonzo only a B?
So far we have no rank As and only one rank AB - the Red Canary statement.
If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that the first rank A statement is going to be very big indeed.
Conclusion
I believe category and rank indicates any two out of the following: importance, danger, level of OIAR control, level of usefulness to OIAR, certainty of being true, amount of evidence. Ultimately, we need more statements to be sure.
For whatever two measures these systems represent, I am fairly certain that a category closer to one and a rank closer to A represents a better grade on that measure, with the exception of CAT 23 which I think is its own thing. The ultimate purpose of this post is to encourage people to pay attention to these tags more as I am certain they contain clues, and if anyone smarter than me can spot them as more episodes come out, then great.
PS: As I was just about to post this I had a sudden idea as to what CAT 23 *might* be. It could be dimensional cracks. This is clearly what's going on in the magnus institute (with the dice statement being exempt because it was taken before the institute burnt down) and it's possible the graveyard in Ep 11 also serves this function. This is pure speculation however.
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celaenaeiln · 4 months
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what do you think about the theory that the dumbification of steph and dick is (occasionally) rooted in ableism?
ok I don't know much about this theory but in the end I don't think the dumbification of these characters have anything to do with ableism. If they were written dumb, it was written that way on purpose as a stand alone.
So let's start with Steph.
There's this overall impression that Stephanie is the dumbest of the bat group and that's really not fair for three reasons. 1 - Her character was handled poorly in the batgirl comic, 2 - Stephanie's debut isn't hers, and 3 - she's unique from the rest.
1 - Her character was handled poorly.
What I mean by this is in her Batgirl comic, the intention of her writer was to purposefully make her dumb.
The very first page, her introduction as Batgirl is this -
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #1
Her very opening is Dick noticing she's not as good as Cass through her skill level and then Stephanie being like "Yup! That's me! I'm a nobody and can't do anything!" That's her introduction. And throughout the rest of the comic, she'll just continue putting herself down as someone who isn't capable or exceptional. This is exactly how Roy acts in Red Hood and the Outlaws. He puts himself down, is ashamed and disgusted by himself, and thinks of himself as a failure which is a HUGE mischaracterization by Scott Lobdell because he wanted to boost Jason's character by putting down Roy's. Which is exactly what's happening here. The authors are trying to boost Barbara and somewhat Cassandra's skillset by putting down Stehanie and making it out like she's some kind of massive failure and Barbara is her saving grace without whom she would be pathetic and die a second time.
2 - Stephanie's Batgirl comic wasn't written for her, it was written for Barbara.
The entire time of Steph's defining "who am I and what can I do?" comic that every single character goes through is just a cover up to talk about how good at her work Barbara is. Instead of getting to see the ingenuity, the determination, and the skills Stephanie learned on her own, under Batman, and from her death, the entire time it's just Barbara dictating Stephanie's actions which further leads to the dumbification of her character because the comic begins with Barbara talking about how pathetic and dumb stephanie is-
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #2
And it continues with her being in charge the whole time, Stephanie learning nothing, never acting independently, and always being under Barbara's shadow.
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #3
So from the beginning to the end, what has changed? How has Steph grown as a person and skill-wise? She's done nothing.
They did Steph so dirty in this comic -
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #4
You're telling me someone who was grappling before they even met Batman is fumbling over a safe save??? This comic feels like a Tom Taylorized version of Batgirl.
And this is what happens when they have her act independently, without Barbara's orders -
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #5
They refuse to let her even be good at school
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Batgirl (2009) Issue #15
And even the one case she does get to solve near the end without Barbara's interference, they only let her do it with the help of another female senior vigilante.
But mainly the dumbification of Stephanie comes from making Barbara look good. And people can say, "She's older, she knows better which is why she's in charge" but I counter with Tim and Bruce's dynamic or Dick and Bruce or Tim and Dick. Just because a partner is younger doesn't mean they're incapable. Writing Stephanie this way was a choice and since this was supposed to be her comic, this characterization for her is what stuck leading to the dumbificaton issue.
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Convergence Batgirl Issue #1
They won't give her a freaking break.
3 - Stephanie is different from the rest of the Robins and Cass
Stephanie started off her vigilante career by herself, unlike the rest. Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, and Damian all had mentors that raised them in some way shape or form at the beginning but Stephanie literally created her own costume, snuck out, and learned crime fighting by herself. She's like Helena, Bruce, and Barbara and I firmly believe if Bruce had treated her as Robin, genuinely taken her in, she wouldn't have died in the altercation with Black Mask.
But I think it's because of this element and the fact that times have changed, this ingenuity and self-growth is seen as unfeasible which leads to the dumbification of her character. As if she's unable to fight and think for herself without leading to her detriment.
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Convergence Batgirl Issue #1
They seriously classified all her hard, independent work as Spoiler into "being young and silly." I can't-
In summary of Steph, I don't believe dumbification has to do with ableism. Stephanie's written that way because the writers don't know how to write her and they don't care enough.
Dick
I don't think the dumbification thing with Dick is anywhere near as bad as it is with Steph. But whereas Stephanie doesn't a single post-og spoiler comic where she's seen as good until the very recent Batgirls comic run and tie ins, Dick has numerous comics where he's pointed out to be amazing or good.
Steph says it
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Convergence Batgirl Issue #1
Tim says it
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Robin (1993) Issue #32
Bruce, Helena, Damian, and various other heroes to summarize.
However same issue with the stephanie batgirl comic and dick - both characters are dumbed down to highlight Barbara's intelligence. Not even touching Tom Taylor's run, Dick's really only dumbed down when he's paired up with Barbara.
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Batgirl (2011) Issue #3
There's no way he can't fight his way out, use a grapple or a device, manipulate someone, or at the very least have an escape plan.
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Convergence Nightwing/Oracle Issue #1
He's the leader of the Titans, the Outsiders, been Batman, soloed, been Robin, and he teaches heroes on tactics, strategies, and fighting skills. But she won't even give him the decency of hearing out his plan because she's so incredibly smart that she doesn’t need to listen to anyone but herself.
No, I don't believe Steph and Dick's dumbification is related to ableism but there are other factors that play into it.
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wellofdean · 2 months
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OK, I was going to reblog this excellent post by @luckshiptoshore so go read it, because yes. Yes!! YES!!! But then when I got started my post got super long and I felt bad tacking it onto her post and decided to make my own in response to these tags:
#i am actually a bit obsessed by the whole hunting as queerness metaphor#it’s so clearly something everyone involved in the show is thinking about#supernatural
Gurl, me too! Like go back to the start! By the time Supernatural began, the backlash against the Joseph Campbell Monomyth-style mode of storytelling had already begun in the hallowed halls of USC film school, and yo: I was there at the time of Kripke's graduation, and my best friends from college are full scale big giant time filmmakers now, whose names I will not share on main because it's uncool, and I don't want that attention, but... yeah. I am referencing FIRST HAND SOURCES on this.
But, for a real source? The Oxford English Dictionary places the first use of the term "Queer Theory" in 1990, with Queer Studies as an option in the academy by 1992. I know the kids think it's a new-fangled thing, but Kripke graduated USC in 1996 (I graduated in 1995) and it was ALL THE RAGE by then. My friends read queer theory in their Critical Studies courses in the Film School, I read it in the College of Humanities getting my degree in Literature. By that time, you could not get through that school with any degree in any non-STEM subject without knowing about ye olde postmodern lenses, queer and feminist theory, and without knowing how to employ those lenses.
Queer refers to sexuality, yes, but the word's earliest use (again, according to the OED) is in the 1500's, meaning: strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious.
So, ok, in 2005, Enter Supernatural, episode 1:
Presented? Two brothers. One actively seeking credit in the straight world that is not available to him in the bosom of his family: Stanford, law school, hot co-ed girlfriend, the other bound to his fractured, wounded family by duty, yes, but also by love, living on the fringe, alone, fighting monsters, and chasing after his father's approval, and who has long since given up any dream of being 'normal'. Episode 1 presents Sam's call to adventure, which he refuses when it's just familial duty, honor and love calling him, but accepts when the show takes a very straightforward and very telling path by classically fridging his woman. Ok, now he's on board. Like John, whose motivation is another dead woman, his motivation is revenge. So far so straight!
Dean though: he's different. He is already on the adventure and he was not 'called' or given the option of accepting or refusing because he had no agency when his feet were set upon this road. He does not fit the straight world at all, because he is cobbled together out of love, duty, deep guilt, striving, desperation and fear. This is who he is now, in some elemental, incontrovertible way. It was not a choice for him, he was born to it. His mother is dead, and we later learn, she made the choices that brought them all to this fate. Dean remembers her idyllically, but he is not motivated by revenge, more than any other thing, he wants to be worthy. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love.
Enter Supernatural's main theme: fucked up relationships between men enmeshed in patriarchy, which will eventually expand to include fucking GOD HIMSELF.
And like, there are SO MANY CLEAR STEPS ALONG THE ROAD in season one, and I am not even talking about sexuality and gender here, but there is SO MUCH TO SAY about it in season 1. But I am not talking about that -- I am talking at a structural, narrative level, the whole thing is just fucking all the way queered, yo.
The big climax?
At the end of the season, Dean says: "I just want my family back together. You, me, Dad... it's all I have." He is Sam's mother, John's partner! His vulnerability and emotion is feminized and contrasted with Sam and John's more overtly driven by their more masculine/straight heroic revenge quest. John: "Sam and I can get pretty obsessed, but you always take care of this family." Only that's not John talking, it's Azazel, and Dean knows it is because his father would never forgive how soft he is, how he will always choose love and family over revenge. Then, in the end, the show makes a huge point of telegraphing that Sam is finally aligning with Dean by refusing to shoot Azazel because he's possessing John, and Sam just can't do that to Dean.
Sam and Dean are thus bound together and cemented into a marginalised path, living on the road, haunting liminal spaces and cheap motels, confronting the monstrous everyday. Sam is presented as the brains of the operation, he does research, logics his way through things (masculine) while Dean is the heart who acts impulsively and on instinct and intuition (feminine).
It later transpires that Sam has a piece of the monster inside himself, and Dean has to learn to love the monstrous, he has no choice, because Sam is his brother and then Cas... and, and, and!
Like... I could go on and on, citing ENDLESS EXAMPLES. This could be a literal book. Maybe one you need to read with a magnifying glass like my condensed edition of the OED. LIke, the queerness of Supernatural is DIZZYING and MYRIAD.
But basically? FROM THE START, hunting is a queered version of family, and within that, Dean is a queered version of a Campbellian hero. Hunting is a metaphor for otherness and liminality, and that's even before you say a WORD about sex. It starts in deviation from the norms of family, masculinity and expands from there on so many levels both in story and on a meta level. The story is flesh on queer fucking bones.
I'm so sorry, but anyone who thinks queerness was not BAKED INTO Supernatural and more specifically into Dean from DAY 1 has clearly never seen Dean's insane lip gloss in season 1, and vastly underestimates the cultural awareness of people who write shit in Hollywood, and also the other people who put pink lip gloss on pretty boys in Hollywood. Nothing that gets on your screen wasn't a fucking choice made and approved by a LONG LIST of people who know what they are about.
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sophietv · 10 months
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It's not about kaylor but I really want to know about the song all too well. Who is it about? I think Jake G was PR. And the lyrics doesn't fit the Taymily narrative either. This song and the relationship seems very important to her. It hurt her badly. I am asking you because you always make very informative and reliable post that makes sense and closest to the truth.
Also who is Dear John about? Is it really John Mayer? Her only straight relationship I believe in is Joe Jonas.
Hi!
Thank you sooo much for saying that! It means a lot. I really can't claim that my theories are always 1000% right, but I do make a lot of research before posting, and try to cross check everything.
2. I must admit that when you asked the question, I did not have real solid theories or evidence to give you. I was even bending toward telling you that the song might be about Lizz since the timestamp of the song on Spotiy is 5:27 = Lizz birthday.
3. Considering that Taylor wrote this during Speak Now Era and that Lizz was present during that Era, well it doesn't fit the narrative of the song being about a relationship that has ended some time ago. And also, it would have been really weird to write this song during rehearsal where Lizz was present, if it was about her...
But thanks to you! I did a lot of research to try and find evidences (I read all the timelines but I'm not that well verse in what came before Kaylor and Swiftgron).
I asked what my groupchat thought about this.
Re-read the Taymily Masterpost (X)
Read and watched Taymily interviews
And now! I can say with more confidence, that I'm pretty sure this song is about Emily Poe, her fiddle player that worked with her from 2006-2008.
Now. Here's the evidences:
First. As pointed out by my group chat, the song does not seem to fit Tayliz dynamic. It seems to be talking about a complicated relationship with someone older.
As by the lyrics "you said if we were closer in age, maybe it would have been fine"
So first thing I did is look back as to when it was written.
Here's a piece of interview I found:
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Thanks to this post: (X)
We know that she wrote it during her reheasal in 2011.
Because here's when David Cook started working with her:
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And here's the date of his first show in the Phillipines:
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February 2011....
Then, I did a little digging on what was going on with Emily at the time:
And oh does it get interesting!!
Here's an Emily's interview I found (X)
And here's what she was doign in February 2011!!! (I'm excited of the evidence I've found, does it show lol) :
"Two thousand eleven was a big year for me. I became engaged in February, graduated law school in May, took the bar in July, and Eli and I were married in November.”
What did Taylor said?: "I was feeling terrible about what was going on in my personal life"
What if she just learned about Emily's engagement???
And to make it even more interesting. Here's a journal entry with the first lyrics of All Too Well:
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Confirming that it was written in 2011.
This is inchteresting.
But it gets better!
Because, before last year, Emily's Pinterest was public. And on her wedding board, she did save a picture with a red scarf....
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It's not Emily, it's just a picture that she had saved in her Pinterest. Thanks to Kate for giving me this!
But what if the red scarf was really just to tie the song to Jake???
Here's another interesting thing I've found in the Taymily timeline:
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This letter is from the video she made to Emily when she left, with everyone having "I love you Emily" signs.
It says:
“Emily– I feel as if our relationship has been taken to the next level over the past few months and with much contemplation I decided I would bestow upon you one of my most prized possession: my flamingo bandana. This is a 3rd generation family heirloom and i suggest you frame it. I think it will look perfect in your apartment with the cat pillows. Enjoy”
Inchteresting....is the red scarf a bandana??
Also. We know that All Too Well was really significant for Taylor and that for a long time, she was not able to sing it without crying...
So it's about a relationship that had a big impact on her life.
Very recently. Like in June, Taylor performed the song Breathe as a surprise song and very clearly cried during that performance.
The next day, we learned that the day before the show, Emily did this post on Facebook:
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Breathe was heavily rumored to be about Emily back when Fearless came out. But Colbie confirmed it with Fealess Taylor's Version in an interview when she said that it was about something that was going on with one of Taylor's band membre.
So yeah... this would make way more sense being about Emily and having Taylor be emotional singing it for a long time.
Than the song being about a relationship that lasted 3 months.
Of course I can't know for sure for all her relationships...
But most of them I believe was PR. Like the one she had with Jake.
Thanks for the question! It was really interesting doing all those research!
ADDITION!! : It just hit me but! The line "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise"
Fits perfectly with Emily calling her to tell her about the engagement! omg...
SECOND ADDITION: This morning when I woke up, I thought about two things that points to Emily!
1. Taylor turned 21 in 2010, 2 months before writing All Too Well.
"And you call me later and say sorry I didn't make it and I say I'm sorry too" from The Moment I Knew
to two months later:
"And you called me up again just to break me like a promise"
2. The night Taylor sang Breathe and looked devastated after Emily's Facebook post. She also sang All Too Well looking REALLY MAD.
People have all noted it.
Look: (X)
This solidifies even more that All Too Well is about Emily for me...
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samaraannhan20 · 10 months
Text
Harry Styles Imagine: College AU!: The Final Show
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A/N: Hey guys! this is my first time writing smut, so please be gentle with me. I’ve been working on this fic for a week now, and I’m excited to finally put it out in the world.
A/N 2: I guess when I copied and pasted the text from google docs my links for the outfits didn’t transfer, so I just went through and added them in, they should all be there now!
Warnings: 18+!!!, unprotected p in v (Wrap it up guys!), oral(fem! recieving), fem!reader, Collegestudent!reader, mentions of anxiety and depression
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️
“One more show,” I quietly say, both to myself and Harry, as we stand in the bathroom after showering, getting ready to leave for the stadium. “One more show,” he echoes, both of us just staring into the mirror. “How are you feeling?” I ask him “Nervous,” is the first word out of his mouth, and he pauses for a second before continuing. “Happy, sad, excited. A little bit of everything. It’s been three years, and it’s crazy that it’s coming to an end. Love on Tour is ending.” “I feel all of those things too,” I admit quietly. “Not to the same level you do, but I feel them all. Life without Love on Tour is going to be weird. I mean, without this tour we wouldn’t be here. Together. We probably wouldn’t have even met. If it wasn’t for that concert that I managed to get pit tickets for, you never would have noticed me or met me,” I say, chuckling a little. “You know,” I say, beginning to laugh a little harder, “we really have a typical fanfiction romance story.” “Do we now?” he asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Yes. I mean, I read a lot of fanfiction when I was growing up. I was a fangirl. And how we met and our love story really is typical of fanfiction.” 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ November 19th, 2021 I walked into the Forum with my best friend at my side, both dressed-up and matching from head to toe, with feather boas around our necks. “I can’t believe we actually got pit tickets,” I say as we walk in, only a couple of other people being let in before us. “I know. I really thought that was a pipe dream,” Haylee responds, and I nod in agreement. We find our spot at the front of the pit, and plant ourselves there, not allowing ourselves to be pushed or shoved away from the spot. We spend the entire concert jumping up and down, and at random intervals I hold the poster I had made, that says “I skipped music theory to be here,” because I had left school early to drive out here today. One of the times I hold the sign up happens to be a time that Harry is standing in front of us, and he looks down and reads my poster, before smiling and shaking a finger at me. I watch as he mouths ‘shameful’ and then dances away. “Did you see that?” I shout as I turn to Haylee, and she looks to be in as much shock as I am, and just nods her head vigorously. We both turn back towards the stage, and just enjoy the rest of the concert as though nothing had happened. At the end of the concert, one of the security guards comes towards us, and I begin to get concerned that we did something wrong. “Hello ladies,” he says as he stands in front of us. “Um, hi,” I say quietly as I feel the panic attack begin to set in. “Are we in trouble?” Haylee asks, speaking up because she knew I wouldn’t. She’s the braver of the two of us. “No no no,” the guard says, shaking his head, and then continues. “Quite the opposite actually. Harry saw your sign,” he says, nodding his head towards me. “And he watched as the two of you enjoyed the concert, and he wanted me to come over and give you these passes, and invite you backstage,” he says, and hands us two VIP passes. “Wait what?” I say, vaguely sounding like Anna from Frozen. “Harry would like to meet you,” he says again, and then moves the barrier to let us through, and lets us follow him backstage. “What just happened,” I whisper to Haylee, grabbing her hand as we follow the security guard. “I have no idea,” she responds, and we walk in silence backstage. When we get back to the common area, Harry is standing there talking to some of his bandmates. I see him when he notices me, and he says something to the people he was talking to, and then he walks over to me and Haylee. “‘Ello ladies,” he says as he stops in front of us. “I’m Harry,” he says, and holds out his hand. “Hi,” I say softly. “I’m Y/N.” “And I’m Haylee,” Haylee says from next to me. “Nice to meet you both. Would you like to meet everyone else?” he asks, and we both nod our heads, and make the rounds to all the others as he introduces us to everyone. The more time we spent talking to other people, the more comfortable I got, and I could feel my body loosening and my body language becoming more welcoming.  Haylee separates from me and Harry, going over to talk to some of the band members, and Harry gently touches my elbow to get my attention, and then nods over to the side, motioning for me to follow him. I do, and before I know it we’re standing in our own little corner talking to each other. “Did you really skip music theory to be here?” he asks, and I blush and tuck a spare hair behind my ear before looking up at him. “Yeah. We wanted to be at the front of the pit, so we left super early this morning and sat in line all day.” “I never knew I had such devoted fans,” he says with a small laugh, and I laugh right along with him. “Yeah right,” I say in response. “There were others who were out there before we were, and we thought we were super early.” “Wow. Well, I hope you didn’t miss anything important in any of your classes today,” he says, and I laugh. “The classes I didn’t miss anything important, but I did miss rehearsals today, so that might be a little hard to catch up on,” I say, smiling as I look at him, and then I frown when I see a small frown cross his face. “Well I hope it’s not that hard to catch up. What kind of rehearsal?” he asks, and then we spend the next hour standing alone and talking about different things, not noticing what is going on around us. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “I’m glad you skipped class that day,” he says, placing a kiss on my neck, and snapping me back to reality and out of memory lane. “Me too,” I whisper, and then turn in his arms so that I’m facing him. “Last show.” “Last show,” he repeats, and then leans in to kiss me. When he pulls away he has a cheeky smile on his face. “And then two weeks in Italy before heading back to the States to make sure you’re back in time for classes,” he says, raising his eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner. “You’re cheeky,” I say before leaning in and kissing him again. “I can’t believe you’re moving to America for a year just for me.” “It’s true love baby love,” he says, leaning in and pressing his forehead against mine. “True love,” I whisper, and then peck his lips one more time before pulling away. “C’mon. I need to gather my outfit for the show before we leave.” “No you don’t,” he says, and I stop in the bathroom doorway and turn back to him. “Yes I do. I’m not going to the final show in this,” I say, and motion to my bike shorts and oversized Pleasing sweatshirt that I had stolen from him. “I know that. I had Lambert pull together something for you. I wanted us to match for the last show,” he says, and I run the short distance to him, jumping on him. He catches me easily, and laughs as I start to kiss all over his face and neck. “No love bites,” he says with a laugh as I focus on one specific spot. “I still have one more show.” “Did you really have Lambert pull something together for me H?” I ask as I pull away. “Of course I did. This night is just as much for you as it is for me.”  I shake my head as he puts my feet back on the floor. “No it’s not. I don’t perform or do anything. You do it all.” “Maybe so, but there wouldn’t be a Harry’s House yet without you. Over half of those songs were written and produced after you came into my life. It’s amazing we were able to get the album out when we did,” he says, and pulls me in for a kiss. “I love you. I wouldn’t have made it through this tour without you. This night is just as much yours as it is mine.” I kiss him again, before turning to leave the room. “I love you. We really do need to go though,” I say looking over my shoulder at him. He laughs and follows me out of the bathroom. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Okay Lambert,” I say as I stand in Harry’s dressing room. He’s been kicked out for the time being so that my outfit is a surprise for him. “Get me in this outfit. Also it better be comfortable because the concert is over 2 hours tonight,” I say smiling at him. Harry had already changed, but not let me see him. I had been led into the dressing room with a blindfold on, giving Harry the chance to kiss me before he left so that my outfit was a surprise for him. “You got it girlie,” he says with a laugh, and then grabs the garment bag off the rack behind him. “Prepare to be amazed. Also, keep in mind you don’t know what Harry’s outfit looks like yet, so this might not make sense but it will.” After he says that he unzips the bag and drops it on the ground, holding out the outfit for you.   “Lambert…” I say trailing off, shocked at how beautiful this outfit is. “I know. It's beautiful. And just wait until you see Harry’s.  You guys will look amazing together,” he says, pulling me into a hug. “And, Harry told me you would refuse to wear heels, so, even though I picked out a pair of heels for you, he got these for you,” he says as he bends down and grabs a box of shoes from under the clothing rack and opens them. “MY OWN PAIR OF SATELLITE STOMPERS!” I yell, super excited, jumping up and down.   “Yep. Everyone got a pair for this last show, but Harry had something special embroidered on yours,” he says as he holds them out for me. I grab them and inspect them, fawning over the Love On Tour logo on one side, and then I tear up as I read the embroidered message. “My Satellite,” I whisper as I read the message. I hear Lambert sniffle and look up to see him tearing up. “Why are you crying?” I ask him through my own tears. “Because I am one of the people who got to watch the two of you fall in love. I got to watch him text you everyday, starting from the first meeting, through random concerts you were flown out for, the trips he would make just to see you when you both felt it was too early in your relationship for you to join him on your yet,  until you joined us this summer because you both agreed it was past time. I’ve watched you watch his concerts and I see the love you have in your eyes for him. The two of you were meant to come together,” he says, and I walk to him and give him a big hug. “Thank you Lamby,” I say, and then pull away and wipe my tears off. “Okay, I’m going to go change. You go get H and tell him he can come and wait on the couch.” I turn and head into the bathroom that’s in the dressing room, and quickly change. I smooth out my hair and wipe the small run of mascara off, before opening the door and stepping out. When I step out Harry is sitting on the couch, and he stands up and walks over to me. “Wow, Darling you look amazing. Lambert did a good job,” he says, and as he says that I take in what he’s wearing. “Lambert did an amazing job of making us match,” I say as I walk closer to Harry and press my lips to his own. “Thank you for the shoes. And the extra special message I whisper, looking up at him through my eyelashes. “They’re going to become my new comfort shoes. I’ll wear them everyday,” I say, and he kisses me. When he pulls away he smiles and says “Did you notice I got yours as platforms?” “Yes I did. And I greatly appreciate it. You know I’m crazy about platforms because they make me taller,” I say with a huge smile, and he leans in and kisses me again. We have some time to spare so we go and sit on the couch together. “How are you feeling?” I ask as I curl into his side after he takes his vest off and sets it aside. “Nervous. Sad. I’m ready for it to be over, but I’m also sad it’s ending. But excited because we’re staying here in Italy for a few weeks and we get to spend unbothered time together,” he says, and I can tell from the sound of his voice that he’s really feeling all of these emotions. “I’m really nervous to play that song for them at the end.” “All these emotions are valid. But I know that no matter what your fans are thankful for the time they got from you. You gave them three years of your life. A new album in the middle of that. They love seeing you, but they know you need a break to stay healthy. And they’ll be here waiting when you come back. No matter how long it is,” I tell him, rubbing his back as I say it. “What if they forget about me?” he says very quietly, and I gently grab his face in my hands. “Harry Edward Styles. Never in a million years will those fans ever forget about you. You saved so many of them. When I was just a fan, you saved me. And you saved me again when you brought me backstage that night and gave me your number before I left. Those people love you. I love you. Your mum loves you. Everyone who works with you loves you. No one will ever forget you,”  I tell him, and as I finish he pulls me into him and crashes his lips onto mine. When we pull away we’re both breathless, and we both need a minute to calm down. I stand and cross to the bathroom to fix my lipstick and grab a wipe to get the lipstick off of H. As I sit down and start to wipe his lips off, there’s a knock on the door and Jeff comes in, followed by Glenne and Anne. “Oh. Sorry,” Jeff says with a laugh as he sees me wiping Harry’s face, and Harry and I both laugh in return. “No worries,” Harry says when I move the wipe away from his mouth. “A minute earlier there might have been worries, but you’re just in time,” he continues, and I quickly get up to throw away the makeup wipe and try to hide my blushing face. “Harry, don’t embarrass Y/N,” Anne says with a smile on her face, and I mouth thank you to her from where I stand. “It’s not as if we all didn’t already know what was going on in here before we walked in,” Jeff says, and I laugh when Glenne gently smacks him on the chest. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop now,” he says with a laugh, and everyone sort of chuckles in response. I cross back over to Harry and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and places a kiss on my forehead. “Sorry love. Are you okay?” he whispers to me when he pulls away, and I just give a small smile and nod my head, before laying my head on his shoulder. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “My family are here tonight, my friends are here tonight. My girlfriend is here tonight. Thank you for my family,” Harry says, continuing his final speech, and I watch as he starts to tear up, before pausing to collect himself.  “I was doing so well!” he exclaims, trying to make the situation less serious. “Thank you for the support. Thank you for loving me the way that you have. My friends are here tonight. Thank you for having my back, always. I love you all so much. My girlfriend is here tonight. I wouldn’t be here tonight, finishing the tour on this date if it wasn’t for her,” he says, and pauses as he searches the area his mother is standing in looking specifically for me. When he finds me he zeroes in, his gaze falling solely on me. “I love you,” he says, with tears in his eyes. “I have a lot of things to feel incredibly lucky for in life but I feel the luckiest with my friends’ support. It allows me to do this. I am so full right now. I’ve never been happier in my entire life,” he says, pulling the microphone away from his mouth and mouthing “I love you” to me one more time, before turning to the band and starting to talk to him. I walk to Anne and stand right beside her as he continues his speech. We stand there holding each other as he talks to the audience. “Thank you,” she says to me, voice barely to where I can hear her, and I turn my head to look at her with a questioning look on my face. “For what?” I ask, and she just smiles and shakes her head. “You don’t see it, but everyone else does. You’ve brought him back to life.  Without you this tour would have ended a long time ago. Don’t get me wrong, he loves his job, but he probably would have ended this specific tour the first time around, found the inspiration to finish and then  release Harry’s House, and then organized a new tour. You gave him the ability to write while on tour, because you inspired him while he was on tour,” she says to me, and I tear up, and kiss her on the cheek. “Thank you Anne. But none of it would have happened without your support,” I say to her, and she tugs me to her and gives me a tight hug. When we pull away and turn back to Harry I can tell that he is starting to finish up his speech. “I see it- the love- in how it’s affected all the people around me, continue to affect people. It does not end with this tour, it doesn't end when this tour ends. Put some love into the world, it really needs it right now. I love you and I’ll miss you. You not only changed my life, you have made me the happiest. I’m so thrilled, I’m so happy. There’s lots of emotions tonight,it’s been a long time and I just wanna thank you very seriously for what this has been to me. You’ve changed my life,” he says, and then pauses for a second, and I watch as his eyes circle around the stadium, as he turns to the band one last time, and then turns back to the audience. “None of you are alone. Look around, look at how many people there are here. We’re all the same. I love you. Thank you so, so much.” As he finishes his speech, I tear up, and look around at all the people in the stadium and all those surrounding me. They may have changed his life. I may have changed his life.  But he’s changed mine as well. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ As soon as I get backstage I go on the hunt for two things. One being water, and the other being Harry. As I get to the refreshments table I grab a water bottle and begin scouring the area with my eyes, looking for Harry. I see him just as I take a sip of water, and choke a little when I see that he has ditched the vest, never quite prepared for the image of him shirtless, even after two years together. I immediately begin walking over to him. He’s surrounded by the band, but when he sees me his smile gets bigger, and they all immediately turn to see what it is he’s looking at, and then cheer when they see it’s me. He pulls me in for a deep kiss as soon as I reach him, and for a minute the world is lost to us. I don’t register the hoops and hollers that are happening behind or around us, all I notice is him. When he pulls back he raises his hands up and starts jumping in the air, and everyone around him follows suit. As I jump up and down with him I can see Anne standing a few feet away, and I jump/hop my way over to her and pull her into the group. When Harry sees her he pulls her in for a hug, and then reaches out to pull me in too. The three of us stand there hugging and just lost in our own world. After we separate from our hug, someone starts playing music and Harry and I stand and just dance around, partying with everyone around. Eventually Harry pulls away and gets everyone’s attention. “You all did so amazing during this tour, and I am so thankful for each and everyone of you. But it’s late, and we’re all tired. So let’s go to our hotel rooms or wherever we're staying. I will see all of you at dinner at my house tomorrow night for our final family dinner!” he exclaims, and everyone cheers one last time. Before I know it the entire band and crew and anyone else who was back here partying with us has corralled everyone into one big group hug. Some people are crying, others are laughing. The people at the back are the first to break free, and as soon as we are finally released from the hug, Harry and I head towards his dressing room to gather our things and go home. “What a night,” I say as the door closes behind Harry and we’re alone for the first time in hours. I start to gather some belongings that we had strewn across the dressing room, and as I start to throw items in my tote bag, I hear a sniffle come from the door. “Harry?” I say as I drop what I had been holding and begin to walk towards him. He hasn’t moved, and is still facing the door, so when I step up to him I place my hand on his arm and turn him toward me. “Honey what’s wrong?” I ask once he’s facing me and I see the tears that are falling down his face. “It’s over,” he whispers, and I let a small “oh” escape my mouth, before pulling him into me. He buries his head in my neck, and I feel the tears start to fall off his face and onto my skin. I stand there holding him for a while, but after a few minutes the tears slow and he pulls himself away from me. “I’m okay. I just didn’t want to cry in front of all of them.” “H, it’s okay to be sad that the tour is over. It’s been your life for three years now. And everyone else is sad as well.  I’m sad, and I haven’t even been here since the beginning,” I tell him, and gently lead him over to the couch. “You were only a few months late,” he mumbles, a small smile coming across his face. “Right, but either way it wasn’t the beginning. You’ve been doing this amazing thing for three years now. It’s okay, and it’s time for you to take a break. In all reality, you don’t have to be onstage to be doing amazing things. Your music does it for you,” I tell him, and I watch him close his eyes and nod in agreement and understanding. “Thank you,” he whispers, and before I can ask why he continues. “Don’t ask why, I can feel the look on your face. Thank you for being here. For being with me. Or always being there to talk me down.  Just being there. Even when you weren’t physically here you were just a call away. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in this world,” he explains, and then leans forward and kisses me. “I love you,” I say when he pulls away, and he just leans back in and kisses me again. Our bodies are so in tune with each other that with each push and pull or move of our bodies or tongues it is a seamless connection. When we pull away we lean our foreheads together as we catch our breath. Harry leans in and attaches his lips to my neck, and I laugh a little as he moves his lips further down, getting closer to my chest with each move. “Harry, we can be home in twenty minutes and continue this if you’ll let me finish gathering up our stuff,” I say, laughing, and gently pushing him away. He places one last kiss on my collar bone and pulls back. “Okay, let’s go,” he says, standing up and holding his hand out for me, helping me stand so I can gather the rest of our belongings. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Harry we have to get up to meet with the caterers,” I say as I try to get out of bed, but am quickly pulled back into bed with a vice grip around my waist as Harry holds on. We had both received a text from Anne and Gemma saying that they were going out for the morning, and that thought alone made Harry not want to let me out of the bed, knowing that we were alone in the house for some time. “We have like 3 hours before they will be here,” he mumbles into my shoulder, placing small kisses all over it. “Right but we both need to take a shower,” I say as I continue to try to pull away. “Okay, so 30 minutes to fool around in bed, an hour to shower, 30 minutes to fool around in the shower, and we’ll still have an hour left to get dressed,” he says, flipping me over so that I’m laying on my back and starting to move his body down mine, lips trailing over my body as they move down. “I don’t have the heart to stop you,”  I tell him, getting a little breathless as he gets closer to my core, and I feel his small breaths of laughter on my lower stomach. He continues down my body, and spreads my legs open, slipping between him. I shiver as he kisses the insides of my thighs, before he moves to where I really want him. He starts flick his tongue on and around my clit as he inserts a finger into me and starts to move it in and out, making a ‘come here’ motion when he is inside of me, hitting the perfect spot. I thread my fingers through his hair as he starts sucking on my clit, and slips two more  fingers inside. He looks up at me through his eyelashes as he brings me closer and closer to the edge, and I see the smirk on his lips as he suddenly pulls away. He brings his body up over mine and brings his lips to mine as he pushes into me. A moan escapes both of our mouths as he begins to move in and out of me. “How are you doing baby?” he asks when he pulls away from my lips. “Amazing,” I moan out, and scratch my nails down his back. “Harder Harry,” I moan out, and he obliges. He starts to move in and out faster, and reaches a hand down to rub my clit. He keeps moving in and out of me at an excruciating pace, but it feels amazing and I do not ask him to stop. He takes his time, making sure that I get to my breaking point first, and then he follows after. After we both take a few moments to catch our breath, he moves his body down mine and starts to eat me out again. He works me up again, rubbing at my clit, and before long he has me hurtling over the edge again. He moves his body back up and lays down next to me, pulling me into him, and we lay there in silence for a few moments, catching our breath. Neither of us makes a move to pull away from the other, instead laying there together. After a few minutes Harry pulls himself away, before holding out his hand. Together we walk to the bathroom and get into the shower. As soon as the water is heated up, Harry is on his knees and eating me out again, cleaning the mix of our cum out of me. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “I tried to tell you that we weren’t going to have enough time,”  I say to Harry as we both scramble to put clothes on after hearing the doorbell ring. “I didn’t hear you complaining,” he says, buttoning his pants and grabbing a shirt. “I’ll get the door,” he says, crossing over to me and pecking me on the lips as I straighten up after slipping underwear on. “I got it. Take your time,” he says and then heads out of the bedroom. I slip my pants and sports bra on, and walk back into our en-suite to apply mascara. I put the mascara on and brush out my hair, and then walk back into our room and grab the shirt I had laid out and slip it on. I stand in front of the mirror for a second and make sure that my outfit looks okay, and will be okay for the last family dinner with the Love on Tour family dinner. I then slip  out of the room, and walk down the hall towards the kitchen. As I near the kitchen I can hear Harry talking to the caterer that he had let in. “I think setting up the buffet right here would be best, and then people will just be standing and eating or sitting and eating wherever they decide. We weren’t planning on pushing any tables together or anything. It’s essentially one big house party before we all go our separate ways for some time,” he tells the caterer, and as I step in and walk next to him the caterer nods in understanding. “I will bring my team back in a few hours with all the food you ‘ave requested,” the caterer responds as Harry leads him to the front door to let him out. “Sounds great, thank you so much Tomas,” Harry says, and then waves as he walks out the door, shutting it after the man has made it out. “See,” he says, turning to me with one of his trademark smiles. “I told you everything would be okay.” 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Hi, welcome,” I say as Lloyd and some of the other photographers come in the front door. They all stop and give me a small hug as I say “the food is in the kitchen to the right, and everyone is spread all over the room.” I close the door as they all walk in the direction of the kitchen, and turn and look over the house. From this spot I can see Harry and Pauli dancing around. I can see Sarah and Mitch holding the baby and giving him little pinches of safe food every now and then while they talk to Anne. I can see Jeff and Glenne talking to Lorryn and some of the other band members.   I go through the kitchen and grab a little food and then cross the room to sit with Anne. I grab the glass of wine I had left there when I went to answer the door and take a sip. When I place the wine glass down again, Anne wraps her arm around me and I lean into her. “How’re you doing sweet girl?” she says when there’s a lull in the conversation. I watch as Sarah and Mitch take the baby and walk over to where the other band members are, and I can tell it’s their way of giving me and Anne some privacy. I set my plate down in front of me before answering her. “I’m… okay,” I respond. “It’s been the best summer of my life, and it’s not fully over yet, but it feels like it is. Especially since I’ve made so many friends traveling with H, and now I know it will be a long time before I see them again,” I explain, and I can see the understanding across her features. “I can understand that,” she says, and then leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “How long until the two of you head back to the states?” “I thought he told you everything,” I say with a laugh, and she laughs with me. “We’re heading back on the 12th. I’m one of the leaders for orientation and I have a meeting at school on the 18th, but we discussed it and we both wanted some time to settle back into the house. Well,” I say pausing to let out a small laugh. “I guess we wanted time to move in and settle. He sold the LA house, which you knew, and the movers are moving everything into the new house, which is closer to my school and has a private beach attached to it. We had everything, both his and mine, moved into a storage unit. The only clothes I currently have access to are the ones I packed for this trip,” I say with a small laugh. “I’m not positive what we’re doing with the very little furniture and other things that I have, but we have to figure something out.” “Would you like for me to come out around that time to help you guys figure it out?” she asks me, and I immediately wrap both my arms around her. “I would love nothing more. And I know Harry will feel the same. He misses his mom.” She smiles in response and squeezes my sides before pulling away. “I miss my boy. It’s settled then. I’ll look at tickets the moment I get home tomorrow,” she says and I lean over and kiss her on the cheek before reaching out for my wine. I sit silent for a minute, sipping on my wine and thinking. “I feel bad,” I say when I speak up again, and Anne looks at me as though I’ve grown two heads. “Why on earth do you feel bad?” she asks me, reaching out and placing her hand on my arm, gently squeezing. “I’m taking Harry away from you. He’s moving to America for me,” I say, refusing to look in her eyes and instead staring into my wine glass. “Oh my sweet sweet girl,” she says, and gently reaches out and tips my chin up so I’m looking in her eyes. “You are not taking him away from me. He was getting close to moving there full time anyway. He sold the one LA house to find a new one, not to move home. He might not have admitted that, but we both knew it. It is in no way your fault. I would be upset if he was moving there and didn’t have anyone, but he has you. And you have shown me time and time again over the last two years, that you are the person for him,” she tells me and I smile. “Thank you. I’m gonna miss you when I’m back at school and don’t have as much time to see you.” “I always tell Harry that I’m only a phone call away, and that goes for you as well. I love you sweet girl,” she says, and I lean into her again, wrapping my arms tightly around her. “I love you Anne.” When we pull apart we sit there visiting for a while longer as I pick at some of the food I had on my plate and take a few small bites and finish my wine. I don’t notice Harry watching me pick at my food  until he comes over carrying a plate of fruit and a glass of water.  He comes over and gently takes the plate out of my hands, handing me the plate of fruit at the same time, and that  is what brings my attention to him. I look up at him with a questioning look and he just smiles. While I’m looking at him I feel Anne get up, and Harry is quick to take her place on the couch. “Haz, I have a plate of food,” I tell him as he gets comfortable next to me. “But you didn’t want it,” he says simply, and I feel my facial expression morph into one of bewilderment. “How could you possibly have known that?” I ask him, not wanting to admit he was right. I had only grabbed the plate of food because everyone else had one, and I didn’t want to be the only one without food. I typically only eat one meal a day, with some snacks here or there, and I had eaten lunch so I wasn’t that hungry. “Because I know you. You sat here drinking your wine, and took maybe two bites of food. I don’t like that you only eat one meal a day, but I know it has to do with your depression and anxiety, and I know that being one of the hosts of a party is causing you some anxiety,” he explains as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and gently pulls me to lean on him. “However, I also know that you need to eat something. Fruit is a comfort food for you. So I grabbed some of your favorites and brought it over,” he finishes, and I tilt my head and lift it to meet his lips in a kiss. “You’re too good to me,”  I whisper when I pull away, and he just smiles and shakes his head. “No, you’re too good for me,” he says, and then leans down and presses another kiss on my lips. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ “Thanks for coming,”  I hear Harry say from my spot laid out on the couch,  as the last guests leave. Anne had gone to bed about an hour ago in her room here at the house. Gemma had also gone to the guest room she was staying in, which was right across from their mother’s room. Sarah and Mitch had left hours ago, heading back to the hotel to get the baby into bed at a semi-decent time. I close my eyes as Harry walks back into the room and Moon River, by Audrey Hepburn, comes over the speaker in the room. I quietly hum along with it until I feel a shadow fall over my head. “Come dance with me,” he says, gently playing with the necklace that is resting on my collar bones, one that he had given me a couple of months after our one year anniversary. I hum in agreement before allowing him to take my hand and pull me up. As soon as I’m standing he pulls me to him and we sway back and forth, slowly moving around the room. Another slow song comes on as we continue dancing, lost in our own little world. After a while I pull back and look at him. “Ready to rest now?” I quietly say, not meaning for the night, but meaning for a greater amount of time. He gives me a small smile and nods yes. We stop dancing and make our way over to the couch, and he sits down first, laying down on the couch. He spreads his legs so that I can slip my body between them, and I lay down with my head on his chest. He rubs his hands up and down my back as we sit there in silence, the only noise being the music that is playing through the speakers. “What are we going to do tomorrow?” he quietly asks after a few minutes. “Rent that boat you mentioned. Clean up from this party and get the house ready for the guests that are coming next week.  Say goodbye to your mom for now,” I say, and then pause. “It doesn’t really matter what we do. What matters is that you get some well deserved and needed rest,” I say, and then place a gentle kiss on his chest. “What is this rest thing you speak of?” he says, and without looking at him I can hear the smile in his voice, and feel the chuckle rumble through his chest. “It’s something you deserve and need to enjoy,” I say, and then I stand up, holding my hand out for him. “Here, let me show you.”
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bestworstcase · 17 days
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Hi, just joined Tumblr earlier today as part of an unrelated thing, thought I'd check your page out on a friend's rec, and... wow. Just, wow. This is practically the nine-dimensional chess of media literacy. I would have so many question, but everything you discuss is promptly explained in such great detail that I can't even say that. One question remains, though: *how?* Where do you get the absurd amount information and brainpower required to connect the show's many, many dots at this high of a level? It's something I struggle with myself (though that may be due to there being over a year between watching V1-V8 and seriously starting to reflect on the show beyond "well, that was a fun sequence of events"—thank you, newish fanfic writing brain—but that's besides the point), and I was wondering if you had any tips for expanding one's thinking in this direction, as the show still means a *lot* to me—there's a reason, however unexplainable, that I stuck with it so long before the reflections started—and I'd love it if the deepest parts of my brain could reflect it as such.
...Unless that's too much to ask, in which case, whoops! Either way, thank you.
really fundamentally the most effective thing you can do to practice is make a deliberate effort to cultivate a sense of curiosity toward the text. and what i mean by that is, get in the habit of asking yourself questions as if you’re in a high school english lit class: what happened in this scene? why did this character say or do that? does this conversation remind you of anything that happened in an earlier scene, and if so, what’s similar? what’s different? what did you learn about the characters from this scene? what did you learn about the world they live in? why do you think this scene was important enough to be in the story? what changed in this scene (something will always have changed)?
it may feel a bit patronizing at first BUT over time if you’re consistent about it, doing this will train you to approach reading or watching as an active participant. analytical interpretation is a skill and like any skill it takes sustained effort and practice.
after that it’s sort of just pattern recognition. this is true of all stories but it’s especially true of theme-driven stories like rwby because they tend to be very deliberate about repeating and refracting their ideas and often develop rich symbolic vocabularies. so you identify a pattern and then examine the text until you can develop a compelling argument for what it means.
one thing to keep in mind if you’re generally familiar with fandom is that fandom encourages a lot of practices that are cool and fun in fannish contexts but will poison analysis because they are (by nature of being transformative) untethered from the text. headcanon, for example, is things held to be true irrespective of the text—one could have as a headcanon that ruby is allergic to bee stings or that qrow is her father or whatever and it doesn’t matter that there’s no textual evidence or that the text says otherwise because the text is not relevant—but analytically, you must be able to back every part of your argument with textual evidence. so it is useful to practice compartmentalizing to keep headcanon strictly separated from the text in your mind.
(that’s also a practice i recommend in general because being able to say “i like this idea and i have it in mind when i create fanworks, but it isn’t canonical” is healthy)
a good habit to get into is arguing against yourself and holding yourself to a high standard of proof. the reason my argumentation tends to be so thorough is that i try to be as skeptical of my own theories as i am of other people’s. if i have an idea that seems right but doesn’t withstand textual scrutiny, i discard it. (or i might toss it into the headcanon/au idea pile, if i’m very fond of it.) i will often develop more than one argument about a given subject and then lay them all against the text before i commit to one. being skeptical will push you to pay closer attention.
cultivate curiosity about your own emotional reactions, too. what did this scene make you feel? why? how do you feel about this or that character? what draws you to your favorite characters? what distances you from the characters you don’t like? what ideas come to mind when you think about the story and what it means to you? if you have a strong reaction to something—good or bad—try to trace that feeling to its root. what sparked it and why?
once you start digging into that you’ll find that your intuitive reactions to the story are non-arbitrary—you’re subconsciously picking up on certain patterns or themes that resonate with you. so paying attention to what the story makes you feel and asking how and why it incites those feelings will guide you to conscious discovery of things you’ve already noticed without noticing.
and another good point of entry is to look for recurring symbols / imagery—for example, silver-eyes get associated with death and reincarnation through a combination of harvest/reaper imagery (scythe, sickle, ‘the grimm reaper’) and butterflies (ruby’s first glare resembles wings, butterflies everywhere when she and maria discuss her eyes, butterflies symbolizing ascension in the ever after). adding this pattern together with the white light in the liminal void between realms (the threshold of life and death!), the implication that silver-eyes came from ozma (who dies and reincarnates cyclically), the stated purpose of the glare (to preserve and protect life), ruby hearing pyrrha’s final words in her dreams (which she didn’t hear in reality), and the glare having destroyed the hand cinder used to kill pyrrha, is how i got to “silver-eyes are psychopomps,” because both the symbolism and the narrative facts about the power line up in that direction.
the one thing to be careful with in relation to symbolism is not to treat it like a secret code! symbolic meaning isn’t universal so you should always consider symbolism in context with the narrative. the first question should always be “what idea does this image appear in connection to, when it appears?” i.e. the burning rose in rwby symbolizes mourning. think of symbols as more like trail markers that the narrative has placed to help you understand the story by connecting dots. we see the burning rose on summer’s grave and then we see it on ruby; she carries her mother’s absence with her. she gives the brooch away in the ever after right after the blacksmith shows her a glimpse of summer, and then in the storm her reflection is summer but ruby doesn’t look, doesn’t see: she’s avoiding her grief, trying to pretend it isn’t there. and then the brooch returns to her once she faces what the blacksmith wanted to show her about her mom: now it’s a symbol for acceptance of loss.
and with a story like rwby that uses allusion to develop its thematic narrative it’s really helpful to read the texts it alludes to! the core narrative allusions are the marvelous land of oz, maiden in tower fairytales (petrosinella, persinette, rapunzel), cinderella, and the little prince, plus alice’s adventures in wonderland & through the looking glass for the ever after. and then every major character has a specific character allusion. both kinds of allusion are symbolic/thematic (you can’t use allusions to predict specific plot events but they help tie together emotional arcs and character relationships cohesively, and the narrative allusions are pretty good weather vanes for very broad-strokes things like ozma’s symbolic blindness being ‘healed’ in the end).
rewatching the show a couple of times will also help, especially if you take notes. i’m not sure how many times i’ve rewatched v1-8 but it’s a lot and i’ve watched v9 in full twice, plus rewatching a lot of specific episodes or scenes for reference. rewatching will help you spot patterns that you missed before and increase your familiarity with the text in general, both of which help tremendously.
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on the shroud parents helmet thing, I'm pretty sure Idia's mentioned before that his ancestors (including his parents) use magic tech to deal with their curse and the blot or something like that. In which case, my theory is that's what the helmets probably are?
It does make me wonder then, if the curse also transfers to whoever marries into the Shroud family - seeing as Both Mama and Papa Shroud wear the helmets.
[Referencing this post!]
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Oh, thanks for reminding me of that lore. I went back in the main story to double-check the details!!
In 6-42, Idia actually says that his dad and grandma (not his mom) use technomantic devices to enhance their own magic. The reason for doing this is not to better handle their curse or their blot; the Shroud family curse is such that their bodies naturally burn blot (in which case, they wouldn’t need additional help burning through it unless maybe they were very distraught (as emotional state contributes to blot) and/or accumulating blot as a magical byproduct at an extremely rapid rate like Idia did before his OB).
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So it could be that Grandma Shroud and Mr. Shroud have low levels of magic and felt that they had to supplement what they were able to do via other means, OR they have pretty normal levels of magic but needed or wanted their magic enhanced for the sake of performing certain tests or procedures. The latter would compensate for general STYX staff having low levels of magic (a safety precaution to minimize the blot they accumulate). The same is not true of Idia, who is magically inclined enough to attend a prestigious school, so we can infer that low magic levels don’t necessarily apply to members of the Shroud family on staff.
The curse seems to only be applicable to those in the Shroud bloodline; it originated as a means of punishing the first head of the Shrouds for rebelling against the Jupiter family. Not only was the first generation cursed, but it extended to their descendants. (If we think about it, the Shroud blood thins with every subsequent generation so… either it’s possible the curse wears off once the percentage of Shroud blood drops below a certain number, or the curse is such that even a single drop of Shroud blood dooms you.)
Pulling in outsiders that marry into the Shrouds seems… logistically dubious (even if we dismiss it as “it’s magic, so it doesn’t need to be explained”)?? Like, how does the magic for the curse even know when the marriage is technically “official” and it’s time to inflict itself on the spouse… Because laws for marriage change all the time, not to mention a couple could still be in love and have kids without technically being married. Would the S/O be cursed even if they don’t produce a child with their Shroud partner or never hand hold get physically intimate? Is just loving a Shroud enough grounds to be hit with the curse? But then how does the curse define “love”? What if they fall out of love or divorce/break up with a Shroud, is the curse revoked? Or is the S/O just kind of screwed? Why would the Jupiters even weave the curse to punish people not even remotely related to the original uprising? (It’s still unfair that the Shroud descendants also get cursed, but at least it can be argued that it follows the theme of “the sins of the father are the sins of the son”.) To hurt the Shrouds more by dragging their romantic partners down with them? But isn’t the original curse enough, why rub more salt into the wound? If you make them afraid to get close to people because the curse might pass to them, then doesn’t it defeat the purpose of continuing the line and thus prolonging the curse? Am I boring you yet 😂
Curses have rules and conditions outlined (like when Vil uses his UM) to govern how the magic behaves and how/when it releases. If the Jupiters spun such an elaborate curse to cover all their bases, we might need an attorney that’s well-versed curses and blessings on the case/j
To close off, I’ll share a funny idea a friend pitched! They said that if the helmet is really what Mr. Shroud uses to enhance his magic, then Mrs. Shroud must have decided to also wear a helmet to be supportive of her husband’s decision and/or to be a cute matching couple 💕
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theelkmaiden · 1 year
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So I've been thinking.
If Captain Marvel is the Champion of Magic, does that mean he has to play by the rules of all magic? Demon, fea, pixie etc.? Because if you owe something to one of those, things tend to go wrong. Fae can take your children, pixies can make your life hell, demons can literally take your souls.
So what if Billy Batson, being the sweet boy he is, keeps doing people favours? Now, he'd never take a child or cause someone chaos, as that means actually interfering, but souls? That boy could definitely be having people sign their souls away to him and he has no idea.
The first time he did someone a favour after the wizard granted him his powers, Billy was overtaken by a surge of tingles that tasted vaguely of rotten eggs. The feeling only lasted a second, but he couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. All he did was help Old Linda from the block over carry a bag of food to her place of residence. That was it. But after the tingling, Billy felt like he was connected to her in some way, on a deep and intimate level that didn't make sense.
And then it kept happening.
Helping to paint his neighbours room. Helping a girls cat from a tree. Letting a lost child sleep in his abandoned apartment overnight.
And later, bringing Batman a coffee after a long mission. Teaching Green Arrow the basics of pickpocketing. Spotting Flash on his running form.
Anytime someone said "can I ask you a (quick) favour" the tingling and eggs would come and Captain Marvel had no idea what it was or why it happened.
That is.
Until Old Linda died.
It had been a long patrol for Captain Marvel. There was a crime wave almost every year around July, like clockwork. Mainly teenagers getting in with gangs and trying to prive their worth now that school was out (or, at least, that was Cap's theory).
He was just touching down near his building to transform when he felt an entirely unique sensation. The tingling he was so familiar with came crashing over him in a wave so intense the demigod found himself wobbling where he stood, garnering a few concerned stares by citizens. The part of him that had been connected to Linda had snapped into place and, without even having to doue check, Billy knew for a fact that Old Linda was dead.
He also knew where to find her.
Drawing on his magic, Captain Marvel opened a portal to a corner of the Rock of Eternity ans stepped through.
There, on the otherside, stood the kind old woman who would often give him food if she had any left over.
"Excuse me, sir?" She asked, looking rather fearful, "would you mind telling me where I am?"
With eyes already misting, Marvel closed the portal and stepped towards her with his arms out in a calming manner.
"Linda. I'm so sorry. You're in the Rock of Eternity. You shouldn't be here but I think it's my fault you are," he was swallowed thickly, putting every ounce of self control he had to the test to bit show how distraught he was with this development.
Clearly seeing his distress, Linda calmed and gripped the Captains arm in a consoling manner. "I'm sure it's quiet alright, dear. Why don't you tell me what happened and then you can return me home. And then you can explain to me all about this place, hmm?"
Her small smile fell when the captain did not immediately react to her request.
"Miss Linda," Billy tried, not feeling very much like a superhero at that moment I time, "I'm so so sorry! I shouldn't have helped you with the food. But I just wanted to do something good. And now you're stuck here forever and I don't know how to free you and there's so many people that are going to come here and I didn't mean to!"
The hulking form of Captain Marvel was now a kneeling, sobbing mess as the twelve year old realised what he had done. The feeling of rightness that sang in his magic at Linda standing within the Rock of Eternity. The pull of what he now knew to be souls pulling him in different directions. The fact that he had only been trying to help.
"Now dear," Linda kneeled next to him, patting his shoulder in confused concern, "I assure you I have no idea what you're going on about. I've seen you flying overhead and fighting monsters, but we've never met officially past today. But if I'm stuck here forever, then at least I'll have company. Now, come, dry your eyes and get up. You need to explain to me what's going on." The mum of four in her seemed to have taken over as she dragged the massive man up to his feet and the stood on her toes to wipe his cheeks with the sleeve of her cardigan.
Taking a deep breath, Captain Marvel nodded. "Miss Linda. You are dead. I'm sorry. I accidently own your soul and I don't know how to release you to go somewhere better. And you're only the first person that's going to arrive here. This is completely new for me and I'm not sure what to do. This place is my home so you are welcome to explore and make yourself comfortable. But it's not much."
The silence that followed was deafening as Linda contemplated her situation. It stretched on until a look of resolve made its way onto the old souls face.
"Okay."
"Okay? Is that it?"
"Well you are obviously very distressed so it was definitely an accident. But I am not staying somewhere that looks so dull for the rest of Eternity. You and I are going to be doing some redecorating. How big is this place?"
"Infinite."
"Then this shan't be an issue. We can build a lovely garden where we can all stay until you get this figured out. Besides, it'll give me something to do."
So, he did. Captain Marvel (who Linda learned to be Billy Batson) got to work and transformed a large section of the Cave into a garden, with strict directions from Linda.
Over time, more people joined and Linda took it upon herself to greet the newcomers and explain what had gone on. Many people were unhappy, but soon settled into their afterlife and making friends.
After awhile, Billy took Linda aside and granted her a Boon. One of her choosing. She chose "to be the peacekeeper of this little afterlife. I want to help comfort those here who miss their old lives. I try, I do, but a little magical help wouldn't go amiss." And so she became the Peacekeeper.
In the outside realm, when Captain Marvel explained to Batman, Green Arrow, and The Flash that he accidently owned their souls, well, let's just say that shitshow lasted a while.
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