#There's also some Alder because why not

[writerfae]

Hi! I wanted to ask two things!

1 Do you ever plan on writing the shovel talk Talon gets from Henry? (It's, of course, ok if you're not!)

2 When Henry and Aden were little, did it ever happen that Aden couldn't reach something and Henry either got it for him or lifted him up (while teasing him just a littleXD as a treat)? Did Henry give Aiden piggyback rides? ( I guess that's technically three questions)

I'm in a big brother Henry mood today (everyday)

Hello! Today, just like every day, is a perfect day for being in a big brother Henry mood!

It would definitely be funny to write Henry giving Talon the shovel talk, so I might do it one day! Because let's be honest, we all know Henry would give him that talk.

Which would be very stressful for Talon cause not only is this his boyfriend's older brother, he's also his boss, technically.

Not to forget that he's king, so the gods know what he might do (not that Talon would ever want to hurt Aiden, but still, what if it happens somehow?)

But also, consider: Talon getting a whole row of shovel talks from different people. Aiden's dad, Henry, Callan, Halea. Even Maya, even though he complains that she's HIS best friend, so shouldn't she give Aiden the shovel talk instead?

And to your other question(s):

Aiden was a relatively small kid (until he hit his first growth spurt), there were quite some things he couldn't reach, so yes, Henry did lift him up or got things for him out of the upper cabinets occasionally ^^ When he got older, though, Aiden often was too proud to ask for this kind of help

Henry also absolutely gave Aiden piggyback rides and small Aiden loved it. When they played in the woods all day and Aiden was exhausted, Henry would often carry him home on his back (which I think is really cute)

Thanks for your ask <3

#Maya is like you better not screw this up #i mean she's the one who is constantly telling Talon if you dont date him i will #so you can bet she woukd give talon at least a small shivel talk #and aiden too probably #also i could see Henry saying if you hurt him I'll have you executed #he would of course say it as a joke and tell that to Talon too but Talon isn't quite sure if maybe he's not joking at all #so now he lives in constant fear xD #little Henry and Aiden together were the cutest #they were quite affectionate because their family is just like that #Aiden misses that so much since his family broke apart #thats why i often say that Aiden is touch starved haha... he just wants some affection again #writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder #i could talk about my boys all day tbh :')

[bonefall]

ITS SNAKE O' CLOCK!!! yay yippee wahoo! have you decided what you're doing with him or are you just thinking abt him :O?

Rotating him in my mind for my own sanity because I got to the part in Path of Stars where they've just. Completely retconned everything about him for the sake of forcefully making everyone of value forgive Clear Sky. The only person who stays mad at Clear Sky forever actually just liked One Eye better

Even though we saw him, on screen, looking at the camera and being like, "I Do Not Like Clear Sky Because His Bad Judgement Caused Us To Be Permanently Branded By A Tyrant Like We Were A Herd Of Texas Steers."

They did him SO dirty, man!! SO SO dirty!!!!!

On that note though, I HAVE decided on a few things!

So, on the note of defectors, Snake is going to be one of the very last ones. While I absolutely adore him, I think it's very important and meaningful that he is one of his most loyal cats.

Snake is a Mountain cat, and it's looking like he is going to be part of the Claw Family.

The Claw Family consists of Fox Claw and Petal Claw to begin with. I have an inkling of an idea that Petal Claw actually leaves while pregnant-- possibly escaping someone unsavory back at home.

I feel like she doesn't really enjoy romance. She's ambitious and ferocious, and whoever her lover was, was quite controlling.

Unfortunately it's a big reason why she's so committed to Clear Sky. She has that sort of unaddressed mindset that abuse often leaves you with.

"No, I know what an awful person is because of what I went through, and I'm telling you, Clear Sky is not that. YOU'Re actually the problem."

And, in turn, Clear Sky rewards her a lot. She is one of his favorite cats, she gets a TON of benefits for her loyalty. Tyrannical, terrible two of them.

Besties (threat)

Snake Claw and Red Claw would have been the first births in the forest, but Bright Storm gave birth early because of the stress and thus Thunder Storm came first.

So Snake and Red were brought up by Petal Claw and Fox Claw, in early Sky's Clan.

Fox and Petal were ADAMANTLY loyal to Clear Sky. They remained behind in the Shadow/Sky split, hissing and spitting at those who chose to follow Tall Shadow.

I feel like Fox was actually their primary parent. They call him Uncle, but he acted a lot more like a dad. It gave Petal more time to go do bad bitch things.

When Clear Sky murders Misty, much much later, Petal is given the kittens as a reward for her loyalty. Having more kits is a point of status, and she's very happy to accept the reward.

So, the Claw family becomes "huge" in a short period of time on this evil action. Petal Claw, Fox Claw, Snake Claw, Red Claw, Alder Claw, Birch Claw.

For Snake, he's raised accepting all this as good and normal. At some point, Fox Claw is killed in some kind of frighteningly violent, unnecessary, bloodthirsty skirmish that Clear Sky aggrieves, and Snake Claw doubles down right along with Petal.

He also does a lot of the WORST things on behalf of Clear Sky. He IS going to have a body count-- though he will no longer be killing BB!Frost (now Sunlit Frost), he does bite him on the good paw during The First Battle.

This bite goes septic, after Sunlit REFUSES to sit out gravedigging, helping to bury his friends and family with an open wound. He already has nerve damage in the other arm from his severe burn.

This choice, because he wouldn't take a break when he was told to, ends up MASSIVELY disabling him. Once a master builder and inventor, he loses his dominant paw and has chronic pain in the other one. He can't build anymore after this.

After Snake Claw defects, I actually really want them to struggle with this. Snake doesn't feel like it's fair to blame him for what Sunlit did to himself, but he's also NEW to Thunder's Clan later, and there's not a lot of people on his side.

And Sunlit is a person who holds grudges... but it's also true that it's kinda not fair, since Snake Claw is trying to apologize for it.

Somehow it's unsatisfying and frustrating, knowing that Snake Claw is only apologizing because everyone wants him to. But how can you expect him to be sincere about something the BOTH of you feel is not entirely his fault?

It's like Sunlit wanted to have him to blame, but that's hard when he's not Clear Sky's Minion anymore.

In the past, I'd gone back and forth on if Red Claw or Snake Claw defected, and now I'm realizing.... por que no los dos? Por que no los TRES?

Since I've committed to adding a third group and expanding on the Forest cats, this is going to mean that Snake's younger "adopted" siblings NEED to have full arcs with this.

While one of them will remain with Clear Sky, becoming a cultural "justification" for the practice of Kitten Stealing, which will plague Clan culture for generations, I think something is fascinating in the idea that they're the ONLY Claw to remain with SkyClan.

Petal Claw and Fox Claw die in battle, "honored" for their sacrifice.

Red Claw defects for ThunderClan first, after falling for the charms of Acorn Swoop

Alder Claw likely follows later... reconnecting with Misty's mate, Milkweed, who has been fighting for MOONS for this very moment

And, lastly, Snake will follow.

(It is also bitterly funny to me that it means Milkweed loses Misty, but then ends up gaining all of Petal's biokids. Never speak to me or my daughter or my son or my son or my daughter or my daughter or my daughter-in-law ever again)

Because Snake Claw will be the very last of the Claw family to defect, I'm thinking it's after the end of BB!DOTC, and over in Thunderstar's Justice.

KEEP the fact that Snake Claw leaves because of Skystar bringing One Eye into the Clan. Even keep the fact that most of SkyClan is loyal to their tyrant-- Snake Claw has woken up to the truth, and realizes he has family elsewhere who loves and misses him.

Well.... hopefully they still do. After everything.

Snake Claw should have a ton of fights with Red Claw and Alder Claw, I think, before the First Battle. Have them all be covered in scars

Because the whole family defects, it's easy for it to become a sensational story about Nepotism/Scabforming. Other Clans probably don't hold Snake, Red, and Alder in high esteem in their myths-- but until Darkstar's Commandment which bans Kitten Stealing, Birch Claw was easily the most venerated.

Aaaand that's it so far! I know for a fact now that Snake Claw is going to be a member of the Claw family, and that he is going to be a MAJOR antagonist through BB!DOTC. In Thunderstar's Justice, he's going to join his living family after finally being able to realize that Skystar is not worth following.

I want to keep that he is a villain for most of the story, because that's what I like best about the way he turns on Clear Sky from canon. He was everything Skystar ever wanted, he did every awful command, the blood is already dried under his claws forever and he was rewarded only with a permanent scarring.

Then, told it's "MY way or the HIGH way," he chooses the high way.

#Since BB!DOTC is the most changed and has had TWO very large changes as time goes on... #I really need to make a new summary post for it #Sorry to followers who are confused dfsfs I'm aware of it #BB!DOTC #Snake Claw #Better bones au

[hyolks]

I'm back on my bullshit so heres a hoshihina post

we simply DO NOT TALK enough about how long hoshiumi WAITED????? FOR HINATA??????? FIVE YEARS??????

LIKE?????? HOW TF IS THIS GLOSSED OVER DURING THE ALDERS V JACKALS MATCH ASIDE FROM THIS ONE PANNEL AND A COUPLE OF TEXT BUBBLES????

THIS WAS THE LONG AWAITED GAME. THE BATTLE OF THE LITTLE GIANTS. THE FINAL DECIDER OF WHO IS THE ACTUAL TINY GIANT. IT WAS LITERALLY WATCHED BY THE OG LITTLE GIANT!!!

BUT THEN. THE MATCH ENDS FOR HINATA. HE"S PULLED. and you know what hoshiumi doesn't do. he doesn't go Oh I win. see that. even when kamome beats karasuno. becuase. he didn't get to win against HINATA

IT ISNT EVEN ABOUT BEING THE "LITTLE GIANT" ANYMORE!! HALFWAY THROUGH THE MATCH ITS NO LONGER ABOUT WHO IS THE LITTLE GIANT BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM

Hoshiumi is SO important to hinata's growth. like. Hinata finds that he doesn't want to be the little giant anymore. he's ok with being the greatest decoy. his EVERYTHING had been revolving around the little giant since he started. it started with the little giant. he wanted to be the little giant. being called the greatest decoy irked him in the beginning.

AND YOU KNOW WHY. hinata had been talked down to the ENTIRE CLIMB of his career. OF COURSE he wouldn't be good at volleyball he's SHORT. IT'S BECAUSE HE'S SHORT HE'S NOT GOOD. ignoring EVERYTHING he put into the sport. his heart. his soul. just because he's short. BUT THEN

HOSHIUMI GETS IT!!!! HE REALLY DOES

and it should seem like. oh. of course its the battle of little giants its because theyre both short. BUT NO. ITS ABOUT THEIR DRIVE AND THEIR LOVE FOR THE SPORT. THEY UNDERSTAND THE SPORT SO DIFFERENTLY FROM OTHER PEOPLE. THEYRE GOOD AT THE SPORT THAT PPL THOUGHT THEY WOULDn"T BE . THATS WHY ITS SO IMPORTNAT THAT THEY FACE OFF.

like yaya i know the alders v jackals match was about a lot of people and had so many important things in it. it solidifies hinata's growth and dedication to being the greatest decoy, so he can truly and finally move past the desire of wanting the title little giant, and we get some solid hinata/hoshiumi comparisons n stuff. but haruichi furudate . i need a chat with you. you. you have the LAST TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER. HOSHIUMI SHOUTS ACROSS THE COURT "I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU" and the FIRST PANEL WE SEE OF HOSHIUMI POST TIMESKIP IS "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU" AND THATS ALL WE GET???? THATS ALL WE GET????? THERES NOTHING ELSE????

WE DONT GET ANYTHING OF HOW THAT MUSTVE IMPACTED HINATA AND HIS DESIRE TO GROW??? HINATA COULD NEVER GIVE UP BECAUSE HOSHIUMI WAS WAITING FOR HIm. WAS EXPECTING GREAT THINGS FROM HIM. HOSHIUMI BELIEVED IN HIM AND WAS WILLING TO WAIT FOR FIVE YEARS AND PROBABLY EVEN LONGER. HE FOUND SOMEONE WHO COULD BE HIS PEER AND KNEW INTRINSICALLY THAT HE WOULD ALSO UNDERSTAND THE LOVE AND DEDICATION THEY PUT INTO THIS SPORT

anyways I'm just happy we have htis parallel. i'll eat the crumbs off the floor i dont care

become a hoshihina liker today

#haikyuu #hq #hoshihina #hinata shouyou #hoshiumi kourai #ive been shadowbanned on twitter and i made a thread on this that simply isnt getting to enough ppl for me to be satisfied #*swings a pocketwatch before your eyes* oooh oooooh you wanna become a hoshihina stan soo bad

[thydungeongal]

I wanna talk some more about Monsterhearts. Monsterhearts good.

It's a game about teenage monsters, very much inspired by stories like the Vampire Diaries, Jennifer's Body, and Ginger Snaps. Stories about teenagers that touch upon supernatural horror but are also very much about being teenagers. Monsterhearts does what a lot of that media does, i.e. uses its monsters as stand-ins for issues that are relevant to teenagers (and adults, but the fact that teenagers are much more emotionally open and volatile makes them a perfect vehicle for touching upon those issues in the most dramatic way possible).

It's a game that embraces melodrama. It's a game that embraces stories that are about people that popular culture teaches us to kinda hate (teenagers, especially teenage girls and, well, basically any teens that transgress cultural norms, are kind of hated and often portrayed as either comic reliefs or petty villains in media).

And it's also extremely queer. The author Avery Alder is a trans woman and even in the first edition which was released before she came out she already discussed the fact that she wrote the game as a queer text. All the skins (the game's term for character classes/playbooks/archetypes) touch upon some teenage issue, and while it is possible to play them as cishet teenage monsters the queerness is kind of writ large into the game's themes: the skins are monstrous because queerness itself is seen as monstrous. (It's kind of like that recent post that went around about why a lot of trans people find comfort and companionship on the monsterfucker side of the internet: because they have been taught to see a very inherent part of themselves as monstrous. Monsterhearts very much goes with that.)

It's very much a game about melodrama and being shitty teens to each other, but ultimately it's a game where there's some kind of threat behind the scenes that might require addressing. That's not necessary though: a season of Monsterhearts could easily just be the players bouncing off on each other. It's entirely possible for the big looming threat to be an emergent feature of one of the players character-building choices (multiple skins bring in setting elements that can stand in as a season-level threat, including the Serpentine's dynasty, the Infernal's dark power, the Fey's fey lord, and so on).

It's an amazing game and I really need to get a chance to play it.

#long post

[ailithnight]

After this chapter, I will no longer be doing a taglist. Sorry folks, there's just too many of y'all and I'm on mobile. Please subscribe on AO3 for updates, or follow the tag A King in Arkham.

A King in Arkham

Chapter 4

AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Danny. I understand you don't want to go with your godfather. Is there a reason for that?

Can't go with Vlad!

If you know something we don't about him, you need to tell us. Otherwise he will win custody.

It's.. He'll.. he'll make me.. turn me.. his fault!

What's his fault, Danny?

His fault. All his. All.. My.. no, my fault. It's all my fault...

Danny?

IT'S MY FAULT! I KILLED THEM! ALL DEAD! Because of me...

Now Danny, I'm sure that's not true. What happened at the Nasty Burger-

I made it happen.

Corporate negligence-

He knew. I knew. Dan knew what would happen. Dan made it happen. He knew the sauce was gonna blow. He knew Lancer would arrange the meeting there. He cheated. He lured them there. He bound them up so they couldn't escape and ran the time out until they exploded! Dan did that and Dan was me, so I did that.

Daniel...?

I murdered them. I murdered everyone. 

Da-

IT'S ALL MY FAU- *static*

.

Tim started talking after the audio cut to static.

"What you just heard is the last, partially recovered therapy session of Danny's in Chicago. The cameras were beyond salvaging. No one except Danny knows what happened after the audio cuts. What is known is that nearby witnesses heard what they claim sounded like a 'screaming moan' coming from the therapy room. When doctors and staff went to check; the therapist Mrs. Alders was slumped against the wall, appearing to have been forcefully pushed, with minor head trauma. Danny was curled up on the other side of the room, panicking and muttering about a Dan.

While Mrs. Alders mostly recovered from the incident, she does not know how she ended up slammed against the wall. Once this audio was recovered, it was turned over to the police. Given the severity of the... confession... in conjunction with the apparent assault, the courts decided to move Danny to an asylum for the criminally insane." Tim paused in the debrief, letting the information sink in. After a moment, Duke raised his hand. Jason scoffed at the action.

"This ain't kindergarten kid, say your bit."

"I just, that explains why an asylum in general. But why Arkham?" Tim nodded, pulling up a picture of a document.

"Kid's godfather, business tycoon and multimillionaire, Vlad Masters. Insisted that if his godson should have to go to an asylum, he'll go to the- and I quote- 'Best in the country.' Made a deal with the state that he'll foot the bill while he continues fighting for custody. Apparently didn't do his research enough to know that 'Best Known' and 'Best' are not the same." Bruce had the next question.

"So, Master's doesn't have custody yet?"

"Nope." Tim popped his 'p', pulling up more documents. Investigative reports. "Given Danny's reactions to him, CPS started investigating. Found a lot of shady shit. Narcissism, anger issues, control issues, coercion tactics. 

One agent said he tried to bribe her with a rather large sum of money, which she might have taken if she wasn't well enough off from a family inheritance and mostly doing this work for the kids. Of course, same agent also said he had 'Rancid vibes' and 'tried to posses' her, but her 'Grammy's necklace protected her' so her credibility was deemed iffy.

Still, there's enough there that it's unlikely Masters will be able to gain custody any time soon. So if Gotham's favorite serial adopter with a good track record for helping troubled kids, Brucie Wayne, were to step in..." Tim's smirk is infectious and makes its way around the table. Bruce's lips twitch ver briefly into a fond smile, before dropping back into a frown.

"What do you make of the... confession?" Jason doesn't even try to hold in his groan.

"Seriously, B? It was survivor's guilt or some kind of psychotic episode or something." Damian frowns.

"I would not discredit him so quickly, Hood. After all, his ghosts are real apparently."

"Hnn." Bruce gets that look on his face. The almost constipated frown that means he is going to have to do something unpleasant like host a gala or attend a business meeting or, "I will have to call Constantine to verify what the entity we are dealing with is." 

Jason lets out a gleeful snort. "Have fun with that one, B. In the mean time can I go break our kid out yet or what?"

"Actually, Hood," Jason turns a glare on Tim, who is once again holding his hands up placatingly. "That still leaves us with the issue of making him an escapee and you an accomplice."

"Well fuckin Brucie Wayne can't exactly just walk up to Arkham and ask if they've got any blue eyed black haired boys for him to adopt."

"Not exactly what I'm suggesting here."  Batman sighs.

"What are you suggesting." Tim pulls out a case he had tucked under the desk, a truly devious smirk painted across his face.

"Just a little temporary theft. Only long enough to put the kid's face on the news for Brucie to stumble across." He opens the case, sliding it over to Jason. Inside, a replica of a relic from Tim's own past; resized to fit his bigger, broader brother. "You remember Red X, don't you?" 

The green that had been tinting Jason's vision the whole meeting finally subsides, giving way to wicked mirth.

"Oh, hell yes." 

Batman sighs.

.

"You don't get it do you? I'm still here. I still exist. That means you still turn into me."

Another night, another nightmare of a memory jolting Danny back into the waking world. His chest is tight, a high whine suppressing itself in the back of his throat. Danny's eyes dart around his room, searching for the shadowy void of his most frequent visitor. But Spectra isn't there tonight. She hasn't come back since she was seen by Banana Bat. 

It's strange. Danny had gotten used to waking up with her there, towering over him, shadowy clawed hand resting somewhere on his body as she feasted on his misery. He didn't mind, really. He had plenty to give and she didn't even rough him up too bad. Just enough to keep the psyches concerned. The last 3 days without her presence had been... not lonely. Danny was already lonely. But emptier. Like the one good thing his continued existence was doing for someone had been ripped away.

Truly, Danny felt he had nothing left in this world. Nothing to give, nothing to gain. But he couldn't die. Couldn't unleash full ghost Phantom on the world again. That's what created Dan. No, this was what he had to give. All he had to give. To stay human so that Dan never becomes ghost.  To live, as the least burden he could be, so that Dan never died. 

Clockwork must have known what would happen if Danny fully died. That must be why he spared him. The Observants sentenced Danny to death. But Clockwork was smarter. He sentenced Danny to life. And really, it's such a small price to pay for the sins of his other self. 

Despite what the others say, Arkham isn't hell. The only issue Danny's had was the clown and that's not really anyone's fault. It's just, Danny looked at the Joker and he saw Freakshow. And he saw that stupid staff. And he heard that grating laugh. And all he could think about was how that was the only thing that could still turn him into Dan. If the clown took control again. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't! Not becoming a Dan, not becoming a problem; that's all he could do now! He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't...

Danny was broken out of his spiraling thoughts by the now familiar buzzing echoing clanging sound of another break out. He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. Then, suddenly, he was lifted up, hoisted onto someone's shoulders in a fireman's carry. 

"Damn kid, do you weigh anything?" 

Danny's eyes flew open, his body subconsciously tensed for a fight Danny wouldn't actually fight. The voice, clearly modulated, sounded high and breezy. His head turned to look at the person now forcefully evicting him from his room. Black body suit. White mask. Red slashes in a stylized X. Built like his Dad... Danny had no idea who this was.

For a moment, Danny felt a twinge of fear. He had no idea who this was. They obviously weren't with Arkham. They had just stolen him from his room and, holy shit they were flying now. No. Not flying, grappling. And running. Moving very fast towards the exit. With Danny. For unknown reasons. 

Holy shit, someone was kidnapping a teenager from an insane asylum. That, probably wasn't good. Any normal or sane person would be scared for their health and wellbeing. But, well... Danny was hardly normal. And sane was becoming increasingly questionable. 

And this guy, well he didn't trigger Danny's ghost sense. No chilly breath escaping his mouth. So he was human, not a ghost. It's not like a human could kill Danny. Not with his ghostly healing factor. Sure, they could make his life a living hell. Beat him, violate him, enslave him. But a human couldn't turn him into Dan so... Danny doesn't think he really cares. 

"Um, why are you carrying me?"

"Taking you out of here." 

"Clearly, I meant why?"

"Owe someone a favor." That was mildly concerning. Danny could think of one person who would stoop to this.

"Did Vlad send you?"

"Master's? Nope. He couldn't afford my services."

"Oh. Okay." As long as it wasn't Vlad. They were almost to the main gate now. There was screaming behind them, now. Danny loomed behind them as the person grappled up the wall and vaulted them over. Danny caught the barest glimpse of the twink in a burlap sack mask striding out the door, leaving a noxious cloud in his wake.

Then they're gone, grappling to then moving across rooftops. It's not a bad feeling. Kinda fun even. Flying as a ghost was nice. Really nice. But different from this. Gravity literally didn't touch you if you didn't want it too. But this? Danny could feel the pull of the earth, the force of every swing. Gravity was still there, exerting its influence, but they were defying it. 

For a tiny moment, Danny felt the ghost of a smile on his lips. The good feeling was fleeting, like all his feelings these days. But it was there and it was enough to shock a small "Oh." from Danny.

"Oh what, runt?"

"Nothing, just. Never grappled before. S'nice."

"Oh." It was such a soft thing, Danny once more found himself pondering the intentions of his kidnapper. 

"Do I get to know where we're going?"

"Safe house for the night. I'm your baby sitter."

"And tomorrow?"

"We'll see."

"...Okay."

.

The next morning, Vicki Vale stumbles across the story of her career (so far) sitting dazed and confused in her office. A prepubescent boy in an oversized Arkham uniform? The day after a breakout where Scarecrow and only one other inmate escaped? Oh this is bound to sell.

Okay, I know the show pretty heavily implies that Teen Titans Robin us Dick.

But

What if it was Tim?

#A King in Arkham #DP x DC #my writing #will taglist later #bedtime

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Step 16: Vulnerability

Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

It's been a rough two weeks and I craved Larissa comfort. So enjoy! 🦐✨

Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar

(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)

Chapter 15

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HWTAHP Masterlist

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Larissa was busy. Which was fine! And understandable considering all the antics Wednesday has been up to recently. Her dedication to finding the monster that had attacked you was sweet, a little insane, but sweet. However, the way in which she was trying to find it was…unorthodox to say the least.

She had asked you almost a hundred different questions about the night you were attacked, not that you remembered much of use anyway. All you could remember was that you were in the woods (how far from the school you didn’t know), you had been crying so hard you hadn’t heard anything and that Marilyn had showed up very shortly after you were attacked…

Which was bothering you for two reasons. One was that if she had been close enough to be there right after you were attacked, why didn’t the monster attack her? Wednesday had hypothesized(her term not yours) that the monster had probably gotten spooked by a second person. It still didn’t sit right with you though.

And the second reason was that you had barely seen Marilyn since you were brought back to Nevermore. She had popped in briefly when you were unpacking to say hi and say she was glad you were doing better and then all but disappeared off the face of the planet. You know the two of you weren’t all that close but you honestly thought you’d at least see her around a bit.

You knew her and Larissa were close, she had told you about the long chats over many glasses of wine and their morning coffees together. And the two of them hadn’t stopped hanging out, not until Larissa went into full crisis(Wednesday) management mode. And it’s not like you spent all your time holes up in your room (anymore, not that Vlad allowed it in the first place). And with all the fucking walking around the Nevermore campus you were doing you really did not understand why you hadn’t seen her at least once.

So you decided you would try and find her today. Partially because, yes, you were lonely. But also because you wanted to thank her properly for saving your life. So you set out to find the funky lil redhead, vowing to yourself that you would find her before the end of the day.

Surprisingly she was in the first place you checked; the greenhouse. This did make you wonder if you were imagining her avoiding you. She was on the phone when you entered. She seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument with someone, hand gesturing wildly as she whisper-yelled at whoever it was she was speaking with. You stood awkwardly at the door, trying to figure out if you should stay or go.

Before you can make a decision the phone call is over and she's angrily sighing and shaking her head. You knock on the closed door behind you, hoping to announce your presence properly before stepping further into the greenhouse. At the sound she turns, rather swiftly. The look on her face goes from proper anger to shock, then to something you can’t name before swinging back around to anger again. You don’t even have a moment to open your mouth before she storms over to you, poking your chest with her finger.

“You! You just- you had to- and now I- UGH!” She groans, tears gathering in her eyes.

“Marilyn…?” You mumble, staring at her, confused as fuck.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t know why I-“ she tries, stopping when her voice cracks.

She looks moments away from bursting into full-blown sobs. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears and her lower lip is trembling. She opens her mouth to speak again but you wrap your arms around her, enveloping the small woman in a hug. She does burst into tears then, hugging you back while burying her face in your neck. You pat her back, doing your best to soothe her.

She calms eventually, her cries dissolving into the occasional hiccup. She takes a step back from you, wiping at her eyes and letting out a shaky breath.

“Sorry..” she smiles, “I don’t-you shouldn’t have had to deal with that I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. Are you okay though?” You ask.

She nods and sniffs, shooting you what you assume is meant to be a reassuring smile. You smile back at her, squeezing her shoulders.

“I’m fine, I mean I will be fine. Sorry. Is there- can I do anything for you?” She offers.

“I actually just uh wanted to chat to you. And thank you properly for you know saving my life and all.”

“Really you shouldn’t thank me. It was the least I could do…” her face falls for a second before she smiles, “Is there anything else? Sorry, I’ve got uhm-I have to head into town to pick up a plant delivery.”

“Oh…oh no. It’s- no it’s cool! I’ll just- I’ll leave you to it then,” you murmur.

You say your goodbyes, feeling a bit better when Marilyn suggests you get coffee sometime. When you leave the greenhouse you stand dumbly for a bit, trying to figure out what to do now. You figure it would be best to go back to your room. Your mood can’t get that much worse just by vibing in your room.

———

Apparently, it could get worse. Much worse.

As it turns out dissociating in your room actually made you feel so much worse. You had ended up staring blankly at the really nice window you had while thinking back on all the ways life had gotten so fucked in the last few weeks. And then you ended up thinking about how your life had been fucked up the whole time. Which was a super fun little exercise to be doing before a physio session with Vlad.

And really Vlad was so sweet, really. So kind. However you felt like utter shit and he was making you do all these stupid, painful stretches that were making your scars and body ache. Which when combined with your already shit mental state leads to a rather terrible outburst.

“Come on kiddo just a few more of these,” he encourages you.

“I can’t.” You huff, wincing at the pain in your stomach.

“Sure you can kiddo. It’s just three more you got this-“

“No I fucking don’t! So can you just fucking let me breathe?!” You yell.

“Alright, let’s take a breath then-“

“No that’s not going to fucking help! Nothing is going to fucking help because things are just fucking fucked!” You end up kicking the nearest thing which just so happens to be a wall.

Which is how you end up sitting in the infirmary with a fucked foot and a dent in the wall you had taken your frustration out on. Turns out the vampire strength did not save your bones from being obliterated by concrete. The nurse had been very sweet, wrapping your foot and sending you on your way. Vlad had helped you back to your room, not asking any questions and leaving you with a simple ‘call if you need anything.’

And so you lay on your bed, frustrated and angry and hurt. You feel tears welling up in your eyes and get even more frustrated if that’s even possible. Part of you knows you’re just having a bad day, that these feelings will pass and you’ll be okay. But another, louder part of you says this is how things will always be.

That’s how Larissa finds you, laying on your back on your bed, foot wrapped in a lovely bandage, crying your eyes out. She silently takes off her heels, padding over to your bed and sitting herself next to you. She brushes some hair out of your face, smiling down at you.

“I hear you’re going around destroying property.” She hums.

“I’m sorry, I can- I can get it fixed and pay for the damage I-“

“Darling, I’m certain your toe suffered more damage than the wall. And even if you destroyed a wall you would never have to pay for it.” She reassured you, brushing the tears from your cheeks gently. “How’s your foot?”

“It’s fine, I was being ridiculous.” You grumble.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she frowns, “do you want to talk about it?”

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. You shrug, biting your lip as you sniffle.

“It’s fine I’m-I’ll be fine,” you croak.

“Talk to me darling,” she murmurs.

“I…” you try, not really sure where to start, “I don’t know I’m just…I just feel like- I just- everything is so overwhelming at the moment. I just- I feel like I’m drowning.”

Larissa taps your arm, gesturing for you to sit up. You do, a bit confused. You feel your heart melt when she shuffles behind you, pulling you to lie back against her. She wraps her arms around your stomach, squeezing you gently and pressing a kiss to the back of your head.

“Go on sweetheart,” she murmurs.

“I just-my whole life has been like flipped upside down. I mean I-I almost fucking died and-and then oh no wait I didn’t because it turns out I’m a vampire! Which is- I mean it’s really cool! And I’m not- I’m not upset or anything but…but my parents hid it from me my- my whole life and I-how am I supposed to feel about that? And my father is all high and mighty about it, pulling the ‘I was doing what was best for the family’ crap. And I can’t even fucking ask my mom about it because she’s-“

Your crying restarts in earnest then. You hide your face in your hands. Larissa holds you tighter, whispering soothing gentle words into your hair. She doesn’t ask any questions, simply holds you as you cry and reassures you that everything will be alright. It’s nice that you can just be with her, that she doesn’t expect anything from you. When you’ve calmed enough to speak again you continue.

“I can’t ask her about it because she’s dead. And she’s been dead for years and it still. I mean I went to therapy for it at the time. And I-it helped. But I-I keep wondering if- if she knew? If she- I mean she probably helped keep it a secret from me but…did she feel the way my dad does? Did she hate who I am too? Would she think I’m a monster?”

You sink further into Larissa’s embrace, grasping her hands with with of yours as you breathe shakily. She shuffles a bit, squeezing you again before she speaks.

“Your father is an idiot and a bastard for the way he treated you,” she whispers, “and I never knew your mother, so I won’t claim to know how she would feel. However, I do know you. And you are one of the kindest, most accepting, most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life. You’re always looking out for others, you’re always trying to help people. There’s nothing even remotely monstrous about you, my love.”

“You thought I was a monster though…” you mumble, bracing yourself for anger.

“I did,” she sighs shakily, resting her chin on your head, “and I-I can’t apologize enough for that. I need you to know that what I said, had nothing to do with who you are. I was-I took out my anger and fear on you. You’re not-there is absolutely nothing monstrous about you darling. And I will spend every moment of every day for the rest of my life trying to show you that.”

Your breath hitches at the sincerity in her voice. You awkwardly manoeuvre yourself to sit sideways between her legs, your foot preventing you from turning around completely. You stare up at her from where your head is resting against her arm, pouting and probably looking like a mess. But Larissa just smiles down at you, her face filled with so much love and adoration you feel the weight on your chest ease a little.

“I’m sorry-“ you start only to be interrupted when Larissa presses a finger to your lips.

“None of that now,” she chides, “you don’t need to apologize for feeling things. I’m so- I cannot express how much it means to me that you shared that with me. I know that one conversation isn’t going to solve your problems, but I promise I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. You know you can call me whenever you need alright?”

“But what if you’re busy I don’t want to bother you…”

“Nothing is more important than you darling.”

She says it with so much authority and sincerity that you genuinely forget how to breathe for a moment. She brushes a few more tears from your cheeks before kissing your forehead. It’s a bit awkward with the way you’re positioned. She chuckles at the noise of protest you let out when she adjusts the way she’s sitting.

“How about we go back to my quarters, get changed into more comfortable clothes and order some takeout? How does that sound darling?” She suggests.

“I-you don’t have to go through so much trouble for me Rissa.”

“I know I don’t. How about you let me anyway?” She grins.

Honestly, you don’t know what to say to that, and her cute grin makes your brain malfunction. So you nod up at her, your face flushing as she escorts you to her room.

And as you sit cuddled up to her later that evening, with her tracing abstract shapes on your arms, you truly feel like everything will be okay.

#htwahp #principal weems #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #wednesday #larissa x reader #principal weems x reader

[t4twnyclaw]

DOTC rough rewrite ideas v v v

One-Eye's group and Slash's group exist from the beginning. They're the first cats in the forest, and are introduced early on.

^ Also a BUNCH of these random cats are kitty pets so they get funny names. I don't know why in canon every cat has a nature-inspired names (Alder, Fox, Juniper, Beech etc..) ur telling me NO ONE was once a kittypet?

Bright Stream stays home. It isn't until Jagged Peak goes missing that she *and* Grey Wing go look for him, resulting in the three of them joining the travelling tribe group.

Moon Shadow dies. he dies to a hawk/vulture, replacing bright streams death.

The Tribes relationships are clearly stated-- Bright Stream is the sister of Rainswept Flower. Dappled Petal and Turtle Tail are sisters etc...

Bumble and Tom are both barn cats. Specifically barn cats. I do not like the amount of sexism DOTC has, so Tom only exists to be the sire to Turtle Tail and Bumbles kits.

One-eye's group is akin to Thunderclan. Their driving goal is to get rid of the mountain cats.

Slash's group is akin to Bloodclan, as he is more or less just power-hungry. He convinces One-Eyes cats to join him after so many of them get beat up-insisting that they should just run away and come back later.

First book -> The group discovers the forest, and they bump into a few of One-Eye's cats. -> Clear Sky is like 'well. we are not going back to the mountains.' and begins aggravating One-Eyes cats. (One-Eye never meets Clear Sky or the others face to face, just his lackeys.) -> The group *kick* Clear Sky out for his behaviour, Bright Stream, Jagged Peak, Jackdaw's Cry and Hawk Swoop join him. (Jagged Peak is about 6 months old, Jackdaw Cry and Hawk swoop are around 10 months to a year.)

Second book -> It's clear One-Eye's group is dying off, but in reality, alot of the cats are just migrating to Slash's group. -> At this point Thundering Storm is born to Clear Sky and Bright Stream. -> Clear Sky has sheltered some of cats who aren't particularly tied to either group. (Petal, Frost, Fox, Muddy Paws and Mouse Ear.) -> Thundering Storm and Bright Stream leave Clear Sky after an attack from One-Eye's group. They rejoin the others on the moor.

Third book. -> Moor cats are having problems with Slash's group. Also Turtle Tail is here with Bumble! But not really, she's a barn cat now. Her kittens are moor cats. -> Thundering Storm changes her name. she also decides being a woman is epic. -> Bright Stream, supporting her daughter encourages her to explore, which she does. Thunder creates her own mini Thunderclan -> Clear Sky begs the moor cats + Thunder to help beat the hell out of One-Eye. being normal, and not colonizers they say no. Clear Sky, instead beats them up. -> The First battle ensues. Some cats die. Clear Sky still kills Rainswept Flower which enraged Bright Stream as she makes an attempt on his life. -> Clear Sky is forever shunned from the moor cats. -> The rest of the moor cats and Clear Sky's old group members decide to meet up in honour of the dead cats. (Four trees is created)

Fourth book -> River's here. he's cool. -> Sickness. Star Flower just appears offering the cure. no one knows who Star Flower is. -> Clear Sky is all alone until Star Flower comes around. -> Star Flower and some of her friends (she has friends and a personality) join Clear Sky's group. -> Through Clear Sky we learn that One-Eye's old group has merged into a cruel dangerous group - Slash's group. -> Moor and Thunder's group don't care. -> River mentions Slash's group. Everyone cares now. -> Slash's group attacks and seriously maims bright stream- actually killing her. -> Thunder and friends goes to politely ask Slash not to kill them. -> Slash says no. -> We meet Violet and everyone else I forgot to mention.

Fifth book -> Star Flower goes alone to speak with Slash. they keep her hostage, Hollyleaf/Ivypool/Twigbranch style. -> Clear Sky begs for help. -> Everyone says no at first because they hate Clear Sky, but Star Flower's cool, so they plan a rescue plan. -> Star Flower escapes. -> Slash's group is starting to crumble as there's no sense of unity or community, which is something One-Eyes group actually had. -> After Star Flower is rescued, Slash, and his group, attacks and kills one of Wind Runners kits. -> Moor cats flee to what will later be known as Shadowclan, with Tall Shadow assuming leadership.

Sixth book -> war. slash is defeated and some more cats die. -> Wind Runner and her followers go back to the moor, needing time to heal. this officially marks the beginning of each clan, Thunderclan, Riverclan, Shadowclan, Windclan and Skyclan. -> general wrap up of the series and some implements of the first of the warrior code.

#txt #dotc #im just rambling but if anyone reads this U WILL VALIDATE MY THOUGHTS #i havent read all of dotc i honestly think i stopped reading before slash was even introduced

[microwave-core]

I've been plagued by thoughts about the cooking skills of the champions for some reason and have no choice but to write them down so here you go. Blue strikes me as the type of person who has the potential to be a great cook but rarely ever puts the effort in. He just doesn't care too much for cooking. He has other things to do and he can get food somewhere else. That being said, if he is cooking for another person, than he is going to go all out because he is a try hard. Complimenting his cooking gives him the biggest ego boost.

Red is a microwave cooker, as in at least 90% of his meals are going in the microwave. Average meal consists of a cup of noodles and a mug brownie. It's passable, it works enough for him and that's all he cares about. Dude lived on a mountain for a long ass time, he doesn't need luxury, he just needs to get by. He has a male living space, I'm sorry.

Lance is pretty average. Your not getting anything incredible out of him, but you know it's never going to be terrible. He also seems like the kind of person to eat the equivalent of chicken and rice for every meal almost every day of the week. He's not against making something else or eating out, but he would prefer to just make something quick and move on with his day.

Steven is banned from the kitchen. This man will burn water. Anything he touches will be scorched in an instance. Don't ask him how it happens, he doesn't know, his hands just turn ingredients to dust upon making contact, and no amount of supervision or guidance can save him. The only reason he should be manning a stove is to be making Bismuth crystals.

Wallace is a great cook and also loves cooking. He will make a banger meal, every meal, every day of the week, and he takes pride in that. He loves to cook for other people, both to show off and take care of them. He is also the only reason why Steven hasn't died of malnutrition. If they ever get divorced, Steven is in danger.

Cynthia would be on the better end of average. Still not anything incredible, but, again, you know it's never going to be bad. But she definitely seems like the type who would much prefer to eat out at any and every opportunity, especially with company. She doesn't dislike the act of cooking, she just doesn't like how long it takes.

Alder is a grill dad. At every event-family gatherings, league mandated meetings, Ghetsis' court hearing-he is outside and he is grilling. He's got the kiss the cook apron and sandals and everything. Whatever he makes, it is going to be delicious, and you will almost defiantly be sent home with tons of leftovers. Man is just dad shaped.

Iris feels like she ranges between incredible and terrible. As in, she will either make one of the most delicious things you've ever had in your entire life or the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth, and there is no in between. It's entirely dependent on what she makes, like she has some recipes that are baller and anything outside of that is risky at best. Also seems like the type who would make really good ramen.

Diantha is also a great cook, but she rarely has the time to do any actual cooking. Girl is way too busy juggling the work of being both a champion and movie star to set aside time to cook. She's almost always going to eat out, mainly around Lumious City. She's practically a regular at every major café, as she constantly cycles between them for each meal of the day.

Kukui is pretty good, but is also a group cooker. He needs to be cooking with another person, whether that be his wife, or his pokemon, or one of his many adopted children, or his actual child. It doesn't matter, he just needs to be with someone to talk and mess around with. it's lonely when no else is there.

Hau only eats Malasadas. It is the only thing he has consistently eaten for years. The fact that he is still alive is a mystery. People close to him are constantly offering to eat out because that is the only way he will eat literally anything else. It's not that he doesn't like other foods, or that he's a picky eater, he just really likes Malasadas.

Leon is on the lower end of average. He can usually make a passable meal, but he's gonna miss sometimes. He's also never at home, so he rarely even has time to cook with to begin with. However, as a baker? He's nothing short of immaculate. Easily the best baker on this list. He would win The Great Galarian Bake Off every year without any competition.

Geeta is an enigma. Is she good? Is she bad? Incredible? Terrible? Only she knows. She's also the type who barely ever has time to cook to begin with, being the workaholic that she is. She probably hasn't touched a stove in years, and has very little desire to change that fact. Do not ask her to cook, she will not do it.

#pokemon #wake up babe new champion chart just dropped #i genuinely can't peg down geeta she eludes me #i remembered hau this time #sorry i left you off of the wife chart :( #incoming tag hell #pokemon blue #pokemon red #pokemon lance #pokemon steven #pokemon wallace #pokemon cynthia #pokemon alder #pokemon iris #pokemon diantha #pokemon kukui #pokemon hau #pokemon leon #pokemon geeta #not writing

[ystrike1]

Crowning My Feral Prince - By Salted Man (8/10)

This started out as a novel, but the girls in the webtoon look alot more cute. Too cute. The men however are insanely good looking. In my humble opinion these are some of the best male character designs available. There's no harem. There's just a nice variety of attractive men. The humor in this is also above average.

Controversy. How I hate thee. Having a mentally disabled love interest is always a grey area, but thankfully our heroine doesn't see him as a love interest at first.

The setting of this story takes place in a novel, about a doomed country. Trixie is a stupid noble girl who caused trouble and married a commoner just because he kissed her ass. That commoner just wanted her money. When she got disowned she was abused forever. That was her punishment as a minor villain that bullied the protagonist.

In this tragic setting the country is doomed because the only legitimate prince is mad. He seems to think he is a dog. He's weirdly strong. He crawls around on all fours. His relatives constantly try to assassinate him, because he's a liability. The power vaccum his mental illness causes is what gives the protagonist and her love interest a chance to shine.

Trixie becomes that prince's servant to get away from her abusive husband. She reincarnated. She was a Korean dog lover, who was raising an abused shelter dog when she died. She's really good with misbehaving dogs.

At the beginning we get a hint. It's very kinky. Prince Leone is completely subservient to her, his master. He says he will take care of her forever after she socializes him.

Submissive yanderes are pretty rare, so I gave this a chance. Trixie and Leone have a good, but highly dependent relationship. Trixie seems to think of herself as a mother figure, but from the start the prince loved her. He hated himself, because he couldn't speak to her or act like the man she deserved.

He also murders 15 assassins in minutes and gets stabbed to protect Trixie. He is super devoted and super abnormal, but the problem is the mental illness. We don't know why he thinks he's a wolf yet. He had a bad childhood, sure, but the actual truth behind his beastly nature is...not even hinted it. It's been 27 chapters. I love rough looking character designs. I love wiry, wild looking men with glowing eyes. When Leone is in beast mode he looks awesome, but I also kinda wanna know why he didn't learn how to communicate. He has lots of loyal allies. All of them are desperately protecting him from his murderous family.

Alder, a knight, left his fiancee behind to save Leone when he was a boy. He has guarded the prince ever since, because he loves the Imperial family. The side characters are good, funny, and sweet. There's a weird comedic edge to this. Leona behaves like a dog. When he wants Trixie he tugs on her skirt...with his teeth. He tries to hunt rabbits to get her attention.

....and...

Trixie brings in an etiquette teacher named Luton. Luton knows Leone loves Trixie. He uses Trixie to motivate Leone. He also uses jealousy to motivate Leone. Again, a lot of this is presented as cute....but Trixie sleeps in a cage with Leone. The yandere vibes are there and his total submission scene in chapter one is really.... hardcore.

Beast Leone is scary. He really is. Alder has to use money to convince Trixie to stay, but she also does care about the prince. She wants him to earn his throne. She also thinks they are friends, but he thinks about how he can impress her every day. It's been 27 chapters and only Luton knows Leone is in love with her.... because he's so beastly that he refuses to wear shirts...and he howls. I don't blame her but the story is pretty slow. Also the dog training is interesting and...wholesome????

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #Crowning My Feral Prince

[epicspheal]

Hi! Congrats on making it through your first year of med school, I know that's hard to do so make sure to take some time for yourself 💜

I wanted to know if you could write something for Gordie? I'll take anything, but please take your time before doing this.

Hi there anon! Thank you so much for the kind words. Medical school has been an interesting challenge to say the least I also have to apologize for the delay in getting to this ask! When I first got this I was like "Oh Great, I'm actually working on a Gordie fic right now and I'll let them see this" Only school and writer's block got in the way So I'm going to bend my own rules for this an actually just do a character analysis for Gordie instead. So here we go... GORDIE NEEDS MORE LOVE FROM THE FANDOM Admittedly, I didn't know much of Gordie because I first played Shield. But since I loved SwSh so much I decided to go back and get Sword and there I actually fell in love with his character. He breaks the mold in a number of ways. Let's start off with his name. In Japanese his name is Makuwa which is the name of fruit called muskmelon (or just melon) which is very similar to Melony's name which is also derived from melon. So that's an easy tie between the two's familial connection. But Melons have interesting symbolism of their own as they represent prosperity, good fortune, and abundance in many cultures. And despite the rift between him and his mom, Gordie has abundance, prosperity and good fortune.

He's a major gym leader in one of the strongest gym circuits to date (minor gym leader if we're talking Shield but that's still huge), he has plenty of adoring fans, and his league card talks about how he's highly suspected of becoming a champion one day. Which is something that I don't see talked about much even in SwSh circles that absolutely should be. One for any trainer to be strong enough to considered a future champion is huge as there's only a handful of trainers who can even attain that rank. Even moreso as a type specialist. As we can see in the list of established champions in the series, the vast majority are multitype trainers with only a handful specializing in one type. And of those who specialize in one type only two of them (Wallace and Peony) that solely use Pokemon of their specialty while the others have at least one Pokemon not of their actual type. Gordie is a rock type specialist where all of his Pokemon are at least partially rock. And let's not forget that of the type specialist champions all of them are either Water, Dragon or Steel (yes Alder could count as a Bug type specialist but he's currently listed as a multitype champion). Rock however is often the specialty of the first or second gym leader on a gym circuit with so far only one trainer (Olivia) being representative of the type in the Elite Four. So for Gordie to be a rock type trainer who is strong enough to be considered a future champion is a huge accomplishment that I think bears mentioning.

Now let's take a look at his team. You can see while he does specialize in Rock types, only one of his Pokemon is pure rock while the others are dual type. The typings not only on the Pokemon but the moves he has are quite diverse allowing him to hit multiple types super effectively and cover 3 out of the 5 rock weaknesses. His team and movesets show he prefers an offensive approach prioritizing speed with Shell Smash, Tar Shot, Sticky Web and Coalossal's Steam Engine. In fact one of his in-game quotes alludes to the fact he prefers quick battles "I'll be bringing my matches to an end in a heartbeat—you'll see. No one who sees them will ever forget me."

He also heavily prioritizes breaking through physical defenses with Body Press and Wonder Room, as well as weather and entry hazards like Stealth Rock, Sticky Web, G-max Volcalith and Tyranitar's Sand Stream. It's a very solid set up that shows why in Sword he's the 6th gym leader challengers face and it shows how this team is very well designed to defeat Melony's.

As I've played through Sword at this point more than Shield (as I've decided for the purposes of cactusverse the Sword line up are canon) as I've gone through his gym, I really appreciate how encouraging he is to the player as they try to avoid the pitfalls in his gym. It's a nice touch to have him do that shows despite the fact he is a strict trainer he does have a soft side.

We know he does get frustrated after losing and unfortunately some people take that to mean he's a sore loser but he's not. Yeah he sulks in his locker and openly talks about his pride being bruised but there have been far better examples of actual sore losers in the franchise and he's not one of them. His fans honestly find his sulking sessions endearing and he even apologizes whenever he loses his cool.

"Sorry to lose my cool... I'll be sure to challenge you again."

And let's talk about the fact that he canonically is very popular and has a large fanbase. As a chubby character that's huge because unfortunately fatphobia exists and chubby characters are rarely portrayed as being popular, desired and highly skilled like Gordie is. Oh and he does backflips too showing his size doesn't mean he is unathletic? There are just so many positive subversions here and it's wonderful to see.

And Gordie cares a lot about his fans. He's stated to take the time to do autographs and meet and greets. He's seen in Twilight Wings opening fan mail in his hotel room. And a lot of what he discusses in Pokemon Masters EX involved him talking about how to best please his fans. It's obvious he cares so much for those who support him and it's heartwarming to see.

Now to get to the main talking point about Gordie...his strained relationship with his mom. I've seen people say that Gordie hates his mom but that's simply just not true! He's frustrated with her for trying to push her training style and preferred typing onto him. He wants to show he can succeed without her methods. But that frustration doesn't mean he hates her and quite frankly it's tiring to see how fandom portrays frustration as hate with Gordie and others. You can be frustrated without hating and I wish people would learn to use that nuance when talking about characters with strained relationships because usually when a narrative wants to display feelings of hatred...it will be very obvious.

In fact when Gordie does talk about Melony it's actually very tame. He mentions wanting to surpass her and how on Pasio the cold nights remind him of her. But nothing that signifies hatred. Sure they aren't on speaking terms but families sometimes go through rough patches. I'm sure at some point they'll begin to mend the rift. But yes, Gordie's a wonderful character that shows how even little details can signify so much. And once again I must say...Gordie deserves more love from the fandom!

#ask epic spheal #gym leader gordie #gordie pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #pokemon masters ex #character analysis

[writerfae]

Last Line Tag

I was tagged by quite a lot people honestly. So this is for you @jessica-writes22 @lyssentome and @saphoblin

I tag @ink-fireplace-coffee @deadlycupid And @treesandwords (if you want to ^^)

Context: Most of this latest idea of mine only exists in my head but… Henry debating with one of his professors at uni and Callan falling even more in love with him during it (modern au obviously)

“But all those people who claim they’d do better than Orpheus, who think they wouldn’t turn around. Do they even know what it’s like to be truly human? To love the way he did?” Henry asked.

“We would go to hell and back for the ones we love,” He glanced over to him and Callan couldn’t help but smile. “so who says we wouldn’t turn around for them too?”

#modern au Henry has studied history and literature #this takes place while he and Callan are still at college #if you wonder why this topic #it’s because Ive been think about this story recently #personally I think to claim we wouldn’t turn around just because we know how the story ends is haughty #but oh well I’m not starting a debate #I’m not Henry after all xD #also just for the record I know Orpheus wasn’t technically human but his story is a pretty human one I think #also also I planned to do a last line for every tag but since I don’t write that much (and kept some of you waiting long enough) #I just name all people who tagged me #writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder #modern au #writing #my writing

[bonefall]

can clerics be lawyers? if so, maybe cinderpelt being the lawyer for squirrel & leaf? who are the options that you are thinking of?

I've got a rough outline of the Trial of Squirrelflight's Horror in mind with some neat new deets, let me toss them together so you can see what I'm trying to do here. I'll also post a "Wanted Ad" of traits the cat needs to display

But to quickly answer directly; Yes, Clerics can be lawyers. However, Cinderpelt might not fit specifically, because this lawyer needs to be equally antagonistic as well as protagonistic. This won't be a Lizardstripe situation.

BEFORE THE TRIAL;

Squirrelflight's Horror is a book that is setting up the events of TBC.

First of all, it's setting up how no one immediately caught Bramblestar being replaced by an impostor. He is not a popular leader, with a long list of controversial choices.

(unfortunately, the fact he was suddenly good at making names stood out more than his cruelty.)

Second of all, we're going to set up some tumult in StarClan.

When Squirrelflight and Leafpool die this time, it's actually their uncle Iceheart who "fetches" them.

He died in the Battle of the True Eclipse, having a rematch with Tigerstar. So they haven't seen him in a while.

From him, they learn there's been delays in StarClan cats coming up and down. But he'll walk them up. (Iceheart replaces a cat named Blade completely.)

Squirrelflight really doesn't want to go, since her grandson Hollylark (from Fallenleaf x Cinderheart) just died, leaving her apprentice Sparkpelt (from Bramblestar x Jessy) alone with newborns.

There's also been a couple shuffles in the cats they meet up in StarClan, let me go over them;

Squirrelflight is barren and had a miscarriage, back in Po3. She was only a moon pregnant (equiv: 4-ish months in a human)

She never gets back with Bramblestar after his treatment in BB!OoTS, he has Spark and Alder with Jessie.

SOOO I don't actually have a place for Dandelionkit and Juniperkit because I really do not want BB to have Angel Fetus Children like canon lmaooo

Flickerkit and Larksong are here though! Their new names are Flickerflame (starclan-given) and Hollylark (to show that Larksong and Hollytuft have been combined).

Shrewpaw, now Shrewface, has been Squirrelflight's guardian angel for her whole life. She learns this here.

When apprentices and kits die, they get full names and the ability to choose the age they appear as, barring certain circumstances.

Hollyleaf, now Fallenleaf, is not dead so she is not here.

Squirrelflight's mentor was Goldenflower, not Dustpelt. They are BOTH here though.

When Squilf and Leafpool get to StarClan, they learn that they've lived VERY controversial lives, and now need to be judged. That brings us to...

LEAFPOOL'S TRIAL

Actually does not go over as harshly as it did in canon. Squilf is going to be the one getting interrogated, sorry girlie

The main purpose of this one is to show how the trials work for Squilf later. I'm also planning for the same Lawyer who handles Leaf to handle Squilf too.

However, Leafpool is still grilled. The line, "Why do you think you're worthy of StarClan?" is used.

Breaking the code to be with Crowfeather is brought up, countered with "she came back and stayed, because the Clan did not have a Cleric."

When the Three are brought up, it's addressed with the Queen's Rights. She "did what she was supposed to," giving her children to Squirrelflight to raise.

She spent her whole life obeying, even at personal pain to herself, and served her Clan loyally despite momentary lapses in judgement.

It was a traumatic thing to go through, but still results in an easy ruling; Worthy of StarClan.

Leafpool chooses to stay in StarClan, and they watch her body die down on Earth, plus the following vigil

Squilf's Trial is a lot more complicated.

SQUIRRELFLIGHT'S TRIAL

Fire Alone, as an ideology, involves a TON of codebreaking... which she has done, often. Especially during the events of Squirrelflight's Horror where she has been forced to defy Bramblestar's direct orders several times

She's lived her whole life with the knowledge that unjust laws MUST be defied.

I think she should also kill someone in defense of the Sisters tbh. Like let's really make this worse than canon and give them something worth interrogating her about. WAS it okay to kill that person in defense of someone outside the Code?

It's not just Squirrelflight that's in question here; it's Fire Alone itself. WILL StarClan accept the idea that the Code applies to outsiders as well?

VERY IMPORTANT: This is why I do not want the Lawyer to be someone who is a Fire Alone supporter. Squirrelflight is defending it, AND herself

Iceheart, Firestar, Sandstorm, Bluestar, and all of her allies grow more and more agitated as the Trial goes on. Her enemies do as well.

Before the ruling, the entire jury is in a FEVER PITCH. Thunderstar, the Judge, cannot roar loud enough to get them all to quiet down. In fact, he makes it worse

Ashfur is one of the named "enemies" of Squirrelflight, and one of the loudest for her damnation.

The court cannot calm down enough to cast a ruling. It's starting to break out in actual fighting, Squirrelflight casts a glance at Leafpool

She's trying to yell that she needs to go home, people need her, she doesn't have time for this

And then she feels a squeeze on her ankle

Yowling with alarm, Squirrelflight feels herself sliding down into the clouds, away from the furious chaos that is engulfing StarClan. It becomes a shining speck on the horizon as if she's falling out of a dream

She's screaming for Leafpool, reaching out her claws for StarClan, convinced that she's just been damned and is being dragged down to the Dark Forest

BACK ON EARTH

She awakens in her nest, back in her body

With her son Jayfeather next to her.

As she stirs and begins to raise her head, she hears Lionblaze bellow, "YOU GLORIOUS BASTARD YOU REALLY DID IT!!" before dogpiling her

Jayfeather looks surprised that it worked at all at first, before huffing proudly

Jayfeather: "never ask me for anything ever again"

The last of a golden glow fades from his eyes; he has used the last drop of power he had left. He later shares that he doesn't think it would have worked if Squilf hadn't still been hanging on.

Fallenleaf rushes in next, followed by grandchild Ivypool, her first apprentice Rosepetal, her best friend Daisy, and by that point the Cleric's den is bursting.

Bramblestar is poking his head in, but realizes pretty quickly that he is Not Welcome, and stares longingly.

After her cuddles and hugs, Squirrelflight brings up Sparkpelt. She NEEDS to see Sparkpelt. Sparkpelt needs to know she's okay, and that her mate and poisoned child reached StarClan.

SO... LAWYER WANTED AD:

The lawyer can't be someone who's entirely on Squirrelflight's side. It's someone who is challenging her, but not entirely unsympathetic.

It needs to be someone she knew in life. Lawyers are never people who are strangers, which rules out Yellowfang who I had been heavily considering.

Ideally it's the same lawyer between Squilf and Leafp, just so we can spend plenty of time with the character and use Leaf's trial to show their personality.

Hmm.... you know, now that I'm thinking about it... what if it was ASHFUR?

Maybe even have him blackmailing Squilf... "I'll be fair, for you, of course... just promise to do whatever I say, and I'll save your sister. This is your chance to make up for everything you did to me..."

That could be pretty fun. AND be good setup for BB!TBC.

#Better Bones AU #Squirrelflight's Horror

[cryptidclaw]

Is Breezepelt different in its rewrite? How is his relationship with Crowfeather or his cousins ​​(Jay, Falcon, Holly, Alder and Spark)?

combining these two asks!

In RoC Breeze isn't very different in character despite his changes in the plot, with him being Crowfeather's nephew instead of son (Night is Crow's sister instead of mate, to keep family drama) and him being a healer.

Breeze hates being a healer, and he hates Crow for making him be a healer, AND he hates the Stars for sending the prophecy that told Crow to make him a healer. This makes him have a lot of the same character, he's also there to make up for the missing Jay hating being a med drama lol.

I am not 100% sure of what the prophecy will be, though I feel like the Stars had anterior motives to making Breeze a healer. Maybe they thought he could be useful in keeping Crowfeather distracted from the 3? Maybe they thought they could control him and use him in their plans to control the 3 (though that failed horribly) Idk yet.... I haven't fully planned everything out for Po3 yet!

But! Breeze still trains in the Dark Forest! he wants warrior training, and believes the only way to get that training is through the Dark Forest. He probably does a lot of the same shit he does in canon during OotS, though i may change some stuff!

With his relationships: I've already established that he hates Crowfeather, but he also has a sort of want for validation from him, though he would never admit that. Crow IS his mentor and supposedly he chose him for some great prophetic reason, plus Crow is the closest thing to a father figure he has, so he is secretly desperate for his attention and validation.

Breeze generally dislikes the 3, at least until he may have a redemption after OotS (im mot going past Oots tho). Crow spends a lot of time with Squirrel's kits during gatherings, this started out with him just wanting to see his daughter but grew into him liking the other's company too (bonus points: the brothers are his bff, Leafpool's kits!). Breeze notices Crow getting along with these cats who are near his age and is pissed about it! why does Crow seem to like those cats he's not even related to more than him? his own nephew and apprentice! The reason is because Breeze is an ass to Crow, if he wasn't fighting him constantly maybe he would like him. but Breeze has trouble understanding this and seeing his own angsty teen flaws.

Breeze especially dislikes Jay because Crow gets along with him really well (they both have similar personalities), which upsets Breeze since he and jay are actually very similar in personality. Breeze is also jealous of Jay because he got to be a warrior despite others telling him to be a healer, Breeze WISHES he could be him.

I think Breeze grows as a person after OotS however, so I think he wouldn't hate Alder and Spark as much, though he is still a ass so Alder wouldn't have the best time being his apprentice.

Also! Im thinking I will have Breeze get a really Healery name (just bec he would hate it), like Breezefrond, Breezeleaf, Breezenettle, or maybe even Breezeseeker.

#cryptid answers #cryptidclaw's warriors au #rise of change #breezepelt #crowfeather #breezepelt au #nightcloud

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter sixty-eight // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this fic: 6.7k warnings for this chapter: p in v, fingering, dirty talk

a million boops to my beta reader banners by @cafekitsune

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Chapter Sixty-Eight:

Cliveden’s gardens at night in the winter are beautiful. They’re vast and eerily empty, though that could just be the stillness of the night. Victorian lamp posts light the way and with the gently falling snow, kinda gives me Narnia vibes.

 I wander around, careful to stick to the crunchy gravel paths and keep the main house in sight. This isn’t the first time I’ve had such an opportunity for escape. Yeah, I could Apparate anywhere, but why? Now that a plan will be in place, what’s the point? It’s exactly what I wanted. 

Movement draws my eye and I catch Diana’s head above the shrubbery, heading in my direction. I’m not ready to go inside yet, so I sit on a nearby bench and wait for her to join me.

“Did they send you to make sure I was still here?” I ask, mostly teasing.

“Kyle did,” she admits as she sits next to me. She’s all bundled up in a stylish thick wool coat while I’m just fine in my Ilvermorny sweater and Thomus’ scarf. “But that’s alright, I’d much rather talk to you.”

Instantly my guard's up. “About what?”

She hesitates for a moment, but I give her my best encouraging expression, despite my raging nerves. 

“Well, I wanted to ask how you feel about Thomus.”

I blink, my eyebrows shooting up. “Oh, um, well, I -”

“It’s just that Jake seems to think you genuinely care about him because of how adamant you are about his safety,” she says. “Now that I’ve met you and I’ve seen you two together, I think he’s right, but I wonder if it’s more than that.”

I think about my answer for a few moments, but respond with a question instead. “Is this because you two used to date?”

She immediately shakes her head and chuckles. “Definitely not. It didn’t last longer than a month or two and it was a long time ago.”

“Did-did he break up with you?” I ask with some hesitation.

“I dumped him actually,” she says. “He just… When we hung out or went on dates, his mind always seemed like it was elsewhere.  The only time he seemed fully present and invested was when we…” she trails off. 

“When what?” I prompt.

She gives me a sheepish expression. “Sorry, it might be a bit TMI.”

I shrug and shake my head. “Don’t worry. There’s no such thing as TMI for me. I need everything.” Even if that information guts me. I’d always rather know.

“When we were sleeping together,” she says all in one breath.

I don’t say anything, waiting to hear more. “Oh, is that it?”

Her eyebrows tilt up in sympathy. “I suppose if I were in your situation I wouldn’t want to hear about it.”

“Yeah,” I say, looking down. “I can see that. Do you know what he was so focused on?”

“Well, I know his mother had passed away a few months before and then there was… her .”

“Bellatrix,” I sigh knowingly.

“He visited her every couple weeks - no matter what. I didn’t even know he was still going after we started dating. When I confronted him, he insisted there was nothing physical going on between them, but I… had my doubts. He told me he stopped going after that, but I know he went back after it ended,” she explains. “Does he still see her often?”

“I… have no idea honestly.”

“Have you not asked?”

I shake my head. “Why would I?”

“Because you two are…” she sighs. “It’s complicated, I know.”

“There’s a massive power imbalance between us and I’m not going to let myself forget that, regardless of how I feel.”

“What about how he feels?” she asks gently.

“If anything he feels is real, then why am I still his prisoner?” I answer a little too quickly. “He doesn’t see me as his equal. I don’t want to belong to him like I’m some kind of possession. I want a partner willing to rely on me as I want to rely on them in return. How can anyone be devoted to an object?” I finish by inhaling sharply, having taken short breaths during my lament. 

Her lips press together as she regards me with a cautious look. “The world has really changed since Harry Potter died,” she says. “No one is doing well - especially muggleborns. No one has been able to fly under the radar since they started implementing some kind of forced registry.” She pauses and then chuckles. “And you would not be able to go unnoticed.”

I sigh. “It’s the hair isn’t it?”

“Actually, no,” she says. “You’d be surprised how popular some of these articles about you have been.”

Now this, I’m taken aback. "Articles? As in more than one?"

"I'm afraid so. The best one is from the New York Ghost , but Witch Weekly's was pretty nice. Does someone have it out for you at The Daily Prophet , by any chance?"

"Probably Rita Skeeter," I grumble. I want to know what they've been saying about me. "Though I'm surprised I was interesting enough for one article, let alone multiple."

"I disagree," she says. "I think what you're doing is very brave. You haven't given up despite all these odds stacked against you. Honestly, I was really excited to meet you when I heard you were coming."

I blush, laughing awkwardly. "I, um, I'm sorry, I definitely had no idea you existed until tonight. Thank you for inviting me to that thing on New Years Eve, even though I can't go. It reminded me of what being normal was like."

"No problem!" she smiles. "I would've been glad to have you. You’re super cool and totally normal.” She winks at me and quietly laughs to herself. “But seriously, you should consider thinking that he might just want to keep you safe, where he can protect you.”

“But I can protect myself ,” I gently protest. “It’s because I’ve been under his ‘care’ that I’ve been vulnerable! He has to realize that.”

Her eyes soften with sympathy. “I think he does, because there was one weekend Jake told me about. He’d just met you and Thomus in Edinburgh and you’d been… assaulted while they’d all just been standing there, unknowing. He said he’d never seen Thomus be that violent before - violent without using magic that is.”

I stare at her eye-wided, enthralled with this story. This change in perspective. 

“And then the next night, there’d been this party Thomus got drunk at and Jake said he could tell something was really bothering him. Apparently, he was really reluctant to talk about it, too.”

I scoff. “I hope he got over himself and opened up so you can share this information with me now.”

“Yeah, so he finally said he blamed himself for being an idiot and not paying better attention. Like, it really hit him that your safety was in his hands.”

I… don’t know what I’m allowed to feel. My heart wants to swoon and my mind wants to roll its eyes. Except, if he’s not as terrible as I thought, am I allowed to hope? 

“I think I remember when he came home,” I admit. “We continued drinking and he asked me how I felt - which was very new for us at the time.”

Diana smiles ruefully. “Does he get points for trying, at least?”

“We’ll see,” I say. “I’m definitely nervous that it could all just be a… fling to him.”

Diana startles me by releasing a loud cackle.

“A fling?!” she bellows, struggling to catch her breath. “Oh honey, you’re delusional.”

“What? No!” I protest. “I’m being realistic.”

“Oh Lady Morgana,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes and standing. “Come on, let’s go inside before my fingers fall off.”

~*~

By the early hours of the morning, I’m utterly exhausted. 

Kyle had changed his mind and decided to tell me his roughly outlined plan. It’s not terrible, but luckily the rough bits still have time to be hammered out. I should have plenty of notice before I have to leave, plenty of time for contingencies.

Thomus is out like a light, still snoring softly, when I return. I try to be as quiet as possible as I strip down to my undies and crawl into the massive four-poster bed with him. 

It must not be massive enough, though, because just me softly rolling into position beneath the covers is enough to rouse a few sleepy words from him.

“Darling?” he rasps and I feel his hands reach for me in the dark.

“Hi,” I whisper. “Sorry I woke you.”

He hums and pulls himself closer, resting his head on my chest. “How did we get back to the cottage?” he says sleepily, curling himself against me.

“We didn’t,” I say, running a hand through his hair and the other over his shoulders. “We’re still at Cliveden.”

“Hm, I don’t remember getting here.”

His tone isn’t setting off any alarm bells. It’s low and gravelly, like he’s not entirely awake yet.  He’s just mindlessly chatting and I just have to be casual.

“Well, you were very drunk,” I say. “You passed out playing Exploding Snap. Jake had to levitate you up here.”

His arm around my waist tightens, pulling me tighter against him. “You didn’t leave.”

I don’t say anything, panic instantly spiking my heart rate, and I hope he’s not awake enough to pay attention.

“You could have, but you didn’t,” he continues. “Not that I’d blame you if you did.”

I stay silent, trying to convince myself that his calm demeanor is because whatever he’s talking about, couldn’t be about the drama of the night. There's no way he was awake enough to hear what we said. 

“No,” I murmur. “I didn’t.”

“What room did he put us in?” he murmurs.

I let out a sudden strained laugh. “You’d never guess.”

~*~

On New Year’s Eve, Thomus leaves again. He says it’s to finish last minute tasks for the Gala and whatnot and I feel… depressed… again. I’m mostly uninterested in eating - I ate a bologna and cheese sandwich for dinner. I’m not in the mood to read, listen to music or watch any movies, but I’ve had The Nanny on all day - just to make the house less quiet.

So I just go to bed at the blessed hour of 8pm. 

I’ve barely been in bed for longer than fifteen minutes when the easily recognizable sound of the Floo roaring to life drifts up the stairs. I’ve sat up by the time Thomus finds me.

“In bed already?” he asks, surprised. “On New Year's Eve?”

I shrug, holding the blanket up to my naked chest. “It’s not the easiest holiday to spend by yourself.”

Thomus sits on the edge of the bed, swiftly leaning in to kiss my cheek. “And I don’t intend for you to, I agree completely.” He jumps up, taking long strides through the bathroom to my room, where I hear him opening the wardrobe. I sigh, scooting to the edge to throw my legs over it. It’s just my luck I was already in bed.

“A little warning might have been nice,” I say when he returns, arm cradling a black hoodie and black leggings. 

He takes one look at me and the next moment he’s tossing my clothes on the bed and crowding into my space. His large hands cradle my head as he braces me for his lips on mine. He leans in and I have to prop my arms behind me so we don’t fall backward. Of course this causes the blanket to fall and his hand swoops down to cup and grope my chest, the attention causing my nipples to harden. 

His kisses take my breath away and my thighs are quick to part for him. His hips slide right into the space provided, grinding his hard-on against me. My kisses slacken because all of my attention goes right to my throbbing clit and I desperately whimper.  

His hips rock against me one more time before he pulls away, both of us breathless. His eyes trail down my body as he speaks. “We don’t have much time,” he says. “I will have to savor you later.”

When he steps completely away from me, I’m left cold, so I quickly slide on the oversized hoodie as he adjusts himself in his pants.

“Savor me?” I ask when I stand, stepping into the pants one leg at a time.

He chuckles, watching me wiggle the waistband up over my hips and stomach. “I thought it was a bit more romantic than fuck.”

Ping . There goes the tiniest fracture in my heart for him. I scramble for something clever or funny to say. 

“I suppose it could’ve been worse,” I say, popping in a British accent for the last word. “You could’ve said shag .”

“Cute,” he smirks.

I follow him downstairs, sliding on my socks before I stop at the door for my sneakers and turn for the fireplace.

He clicks his tongue. “Not that way.”

I narrow my eyes and follow him out the door. He takes me to the spot beyond the fence and touches the tattoo before Apparating us to the Manor. The front gates are open and he swiftly takes hold of my tattoo again to get me over the barrier. 

We walk down the entrance path, under gilded arches and golden fairy lights crossing overhead from the tall hedges. Holding my hand, he pulls me around the building along the back toward a door being held open by an elf.

“Miss,” Remmy says to me in a disinterested greeting and drops his voice to a whisper. “Master Thomus, Mistress expects you in fifteen minutes. Master isn’t even dressed -”

“Don’t worry, Remmy, I will be there,” Thomus reassures them as we pass. “Mums the word about Miss Alder, remember?”

“Yes, yes, Remmy remembers,” the elf dismisses. 

Thomus leads me to his room, making sure to use hallways noticeably absent of chatty portraits. A familiar route because of the many times I'd avoided them myself. The moment we’re in his room, he heads for the bathroom, already stripping. There’s a black robed suit hanging from a hook on the door. 

“Please tell me you're not gonna surprise me with a ball gown, are you?” I ask, hopping up onto the bed and toeing my shoes off. 

“I value my neck, thanks,” he remarks, pulling on first his suit pants, then the black button up shirt. “Would you grab me a pair of cufflinks from the closet?”

“Does it matter which one?” I ask, knowing he's got a variety. 

“No.”

By the time I emerge from the closet, elegant silver M stamped cufflinks in hand, he’s already dressed. He smiles at me as I pass him the tiny pieces of metal. 

“All you have to do is wait for a few hours,” he says, his mood curiously… cheerful? “Go back to sleep if you'd like - just don't leave this room. Only Remmy knows you're here.” 

“Why all the fuss?” I ask, my eyes greedily taking his suited form in. I suppress the desire to pull him close by his silk tie for a kiss. He looks too suave and sophisticated and… way out of my league.

“For the simple reason that I don’t want certain guests to know you’re here,” he explains, stepping into the bathroom once again. I hear him spritz a bottle of something.

“And why is that again?” 

He glides out of the bathroom, passing me by with a quick peck to my cheek. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

I completely ignore the fact he didn’t answer my question, because I’m way too distracted by his suddenly fragrant cologne. I breathe in lung-fulls of cedar and pine, trying not to swoon in his wake as he pulls out his wand to light the fireplace. 

Then he’s gone, the door audibly locking behind him.

~*~

Well, I definitely try to sleep. Except I wasn’t even tired when I climbed into bed the first time.

First I change into a purple wispy nightgown with a deep vee in the neck that stops at my thighs. Then I change out of it when the frills around the short sleeves become too itchy under the covers, opting instead for a simpler one with long sleeves and a hem that falls around my ankles. 

All this, just to be uncomfortable in every position I try. Nevermind the fact my mind keeps doing laps of worrying, wondering who exactly Thomus doesn’t want to know I’m here. Rodolphus? Bellatrix? Is he dancing and flirting with her while her husband tracks me down this very moment? 

Finally I give up and decide to grab a handful of Thomus’ old Daily Prophets and settle on the cushioned bench in the alcove of one of his windows. I sit sideways on it, my back against the wall with the door in my line of sight. 

I’m about to cast a subtle illumination spell to help my poor eyesight in this dim lighting when movement out the window catches my eye. It’s the curtains billowing out of the open doors to the ball room - or the large drawing room as Narcissa calls it. Golden light spills from windows and the doorway  as the guests' shadows and silhouettes move within. Some are moving swiftly as if dancing while some are mingling. Before I can think better of it, I’m pushing open the French window closest to me.

I hear boisterous laughter and the low hum of chatter, and best of all, music drifts up to me like a leaf in the breeze. It’s the exact kind of music I’d imagine would play at a ball like this, and I can’t help but picture myself down there, in some pretty dress twirling around the room with Thomus.

I sit there, content to listen to the string quartet and people watch. Some come outside for the cool air, others to have a private word alone with each other. 

Hermione is relatively easy to spot. Her black gown is ridiculously puffy around the skirt, but synched skin-tight in the bodice, and even from here I can see the jewels glittering on her chest. I’m surprised to see Draco by her side, dressed head to toe in white. They linger by the door, always surrounded by ladies vying for his attention. I can’t help but notice how his hand slowly caresses her back, almost… lovingly from her waist up to her shoulders and nape when he thinks no one is watching.

Thankfully, I don’t see Bellatrix, but I also don’t see Thomus, either. An inconsequential fact I try not to linger on.

I don’t know how long I sit like that, but eventually Thomus returns, quietly stepping into the room with two empty champagne glasses and a bottle.

“I kinda feel like Cinderella wanting to go to the ball,” I say softly as he approaches. He looks politely puzzled and before he can ask, I explain, “It’s just a No-Maj fairytale.”

“Ah,” he hums. He takes hold of the forgotten newspapers on the other side of the bench and raises an eyebrow.

I feel a blush creep up my throat and try to keep my tone nonchalant. “I… maybe like to read your articles,” I say. “It’s crazy to think we both spent time at The Daily Prophet , but at different times so we never ran into each other.”

I feel like I’m rambling, but how could I not? He looks and smells far too dashing for me to think clearly. 

“It is a bit ironic,” he says, replacing his papers where I’d gotten them from before returning. He takes up the rest of the bench, his back to the window, and places the glasses and bottle on the floor next to him.

“Do you think things might’ve been different if we’d met there instead?” I ask hesitantly, knowing all too well his opinions on ‘what if’s. “Before?”

Thomus sighs heavily and the air puffs out his cheeks. He raises an eyebrow and gives me a sideways look. “Honestly?”

I nod. “Yeah, always.”

“Hm, I think…” his mouth downturns as he speaks, his voice betraying his amusement. “I’d find you the most annoying person on the planet.”

A disbelieving laugh bursts out. “What?!”

He nods, completely solemn. “Oh yeah, always asking questions, always bothering me.”

“Oh no, I’d have to talk to you about our job ,” I say with dramatic sarcasm, trying and failing to keep the smile off my face. “Oh no, what a nightmare.”

Thomus grabs my ankle, lifting my foot so he can shift closer, until my calf rests on his opposite thigh. That hand slides from my ankle all the way up my leg, and I’m disappointed it’s not under my nightgown. “It would have been an absolute nightmare to have you prance into my office every bloody day,” he continues as his fingers meet the crease at my hip and wedge themselves in. Then they keep traveling and grip all the plentiful flesh there. “I’d never be able to get any work done because I’d constantly be thinking about bending you over my desk.”

My eyes run laps over the sharp lines of his face, trying to determine if he’s serious. “Is that so?”

Thomus’ eyes drop to my mouth, his free hand brings his thumb to brush my lower lip. “These would be the worst. With every meddlesome question you ask, I’d only be able to think about how they’d taste.”

I’m holding my breath - my heart thudding, my ears burning. I’m suddenly very unnecessarily conscious of how far my glasses have slipped down my nose, the cool breeze from the window across my chest, and how heavy I’m breathing over his thumb. And for some reason his accent is doing funny things to my insides right now, of all times. 

His voice is low, husky, and oh, so hot. “I’d be thinking about how you’d sound when I touched you. And yes, I say when . I could only endure such torture for so long before I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

I snort, a disbelieving smile breaking out under his thumb. “You make me sound like some kind of irresistible vixen.” A chuckle rumbles out of his chest, but I keep going. “Well, I have good news for you - I wouldn’t object to any of that.”

“Is that so?” His hand caresses from my jaw to my neck. 

I bite my lip to control my grin. “Well, yeah. Why do you think I’d be bothering you so much in the first place?”

Thomus lets out a breathy chuckle and sits back, his eyes crinkling in the corners. I can only stare, mesmerized by seeing genuine happiness on his face.

“So,” I say brightly. “Are you enjoying this party you put so much effort into preparing?”

His smile fades. “Not as much as I ought to, I suppose.”

“Oh, why not?” I ask, placing my hand over his one on my neck, feeling along the lines of his knuckles and fingers.

“The people down there…” he starts, eyes gazing out the window, “the only thing I’ve ever been to them is a source for gossip and scandal. And then the few who look past all that see the Malfoy name and nothing else.”

I let that process. “So what you’re saying is you’re a real catch?”

He bursts out laughing, the hand from my hip reaching up to scratch his chin. “Yeah, for those desperate to social climb.”

“So you’re a desperately eligible bachelor ?” I tease with a bit more drama to my tone. “How interesting. All the finest debutantes must be lining up down there, so what ever are you doing up here with me?”

“I’m a little old for debutantes.” He settles toward me into a more relaxing position, pulling his knee up and pressing his calf onto the bench under my thighs. With his face closer to mine now, his softly spoken words are loud and clear. “And besides, your company is vastly preferable over theirs.”

My face floods with heat and I crumble under his direct eye contact. My mouth suddenly feels as dry as the desert while I’m forced to figure out some kind of intelligent reply. “Quite shocking, really,” I say, my voice a whisper until I clear my throat, swallowing down some nerves. “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with the wizarding world’s most crankiest?”

He laughs again. “Are you talking about me or them?”

I’m about to answer, but a dull tapping sound coming from the party draws my attention. The guests are returning inside, tapping their wands against their champagne glasses. 

“Ten minutes to midnight,” Thomus explains. “Lucius and Narcissa are about to make their toast.”

I slip my other hand around the one he has at my neck, both of mine cradling it near my chest as I glance at the clock on his mantle. “I guess that means you have to go?”

“Probably,” he admits slowly. “But I’m here.”

“Hold on, speaking of being here, isn’t Draco supposed to be in Switzerland?” I jut in, my eyes easily finding him and Hermione on the edge of the crowd. 

“He is and Lucius is absolutely furious,” he sighs. “I can’t believe he’d be so foolish.”

“Well, it's obvious, right?” I ask, side-eying him, unsure if this is something I could even talk about. “He’s like, really into Hermione.”

A few moments tick by in silence as I stare at the crowd below. I glance at him to see his eyes had been on me the whole time, his expression pensive. When our eyes meet, he holds them for a moment before his gaze follows his hand as both of his gently hold mine instead. He pulls back my left sleeve, his fingers lightly tracing his name inked on my skin. Then he goes further, tracing the white puckered lines of the scar Bellatrix left me. 

“What’re you thinking about?” I whisper.

His lips curl ruefully. “I’m thinking about how much of a hypocrite I am. I’ve called him foolish when here I am,” he says. “Unable to stay away.”

“From what?” I breathe, feeling stupid the moment I finish. My heart is beating so hard I wonder if he can feel my pulse where he holds my arm.

Thomus’ eyes hold on my arm, avoidant of my own. His voice is soft like he's telling me a secret. “I snuck you in tonight because I couldn’t bear not spending it with you.”

My eyebrows come together and I feel my head shake. “It’s just another year.”

“No,” he says, his eyes flashing up to mine, adamant. “Moments like these are important, to spend with those who are important. That’s why they’re all gathered down there, isn’t it? To go into the New Year praising the Dark Lord’s reign, congratulating themselves for their accomplishments this year.” He looks back down at our hands, at his name. “I know I don’t have much to celebrate in that regard, but I do know that you’re important to me… and frankly I'm tired of pretending otherwise.”

I can only stare at him. Unable to think, unable to breathe . How could he say something like that? 

When I finally have to draw breath after what feels like an eternity, I only get to say his name. “Thomus -”

The loud popping of fireworks bursts from below, along with some cheer that has me turning my gaze away only briefly. I turn back and Thomus’ mouth descends on mine. 

The kiss is full and wonderful, but short. He pulls back inches away to search into my gaze, like he’s asking for permission, like he’s making sure what he just said was okay. 

It was more than okay. It’s exactly what my heart wants to hear, even though my own stubborn insecurities push doubt into my mind. 

I can’t say anything back. I can’t tell him how I feel.

But I can show him.

Our lips meet again in a rush. At least it feels like that to me, like we just can’t bare being apart anymore. I pour my heart and soul into this kiss. My hands find their way into his hair, his caress and grip every part of my body he can reach. 

Soon I’m pushing him back so I can climb onto his lap. He’s pulled up my nightgown and the cool air feels amazing on my bare legs. I’ve got one foot on the floor and the other is bent at the knee, helping control my balance while I’m grinding on him. 

He keeps pulling me to him, my weight rocking into him, and I brace a hand on the wall in the bay window as he falls further back, keeping me upright. His hands slip under my nightgown, roaming my thighs. I adjust my hips, feeling brave enough to put both hands on his chest to steady me. His suit pants can’t hide how hard he is. I try to use that as a reminder he’s genuinely into me. No matter how many times I’m in his lap, it’s still hard to believe he wants me here. 

“How long till you have to go back?” I ask with controlled breaths. 

He growls. “Just fuck me, baby.” His fingers painfully dig into my hips as he pulls me down, undulating his hips against me. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

There are things I want to blurt out, simple little words swelling in my chest that threaten to ruin everything. 

But if I confess how I feel, it wouldn’t change anything. I’ll still be his prisoner. His possession.

I don’t wanna be an object. I long to be more .

My hands slide up his chest to meet at his neckline, shoving my fingers into the knot on his tie. I don’t bother pulling it all the way off before I go at his buttons, not stopping until his muscled chest and abdomen are revealed. My hips rock, rubbing my pussy over his cock straining to be let free. 

Then I jump up, standing to shimmy my undies to the floor. Thomus sits up and shrugs off his suit jacket, pulling off his tie completely. I pause, waiting to return to my seat, but then he looks at me, his eyes raking me up and down. 

“I want that off,” he says, referring to the only article of clothing I have left. 

I struggle not to make a face, because I still have a hard time being completely naked in front of him. If we were in bed, that would be different. This just feels too exposed.

I grip the material around my hips and step toward him. “Take it off for me?” I ask.

Lust-filled eyes lock on mine and his hands go to my thighs, sliding them up my sides, taking the gown with them. I raise my arms to help him pull it off the rest of the way and a blast of cool air from the window makes goosebumps rise all over me. It sends a shiver through my body and my nipples harden.

When my arms are free, I step even closer and cup his face, pressing my lips to his. I kiss him softly, from one corner of his mouth to the other. While I distract his mouth with sweet kisses, one hand takes off my glasses and the other goes to his belt.

Of course, I can only use one brain cell at a time, so my mouth becomes distracted when I struggle with undoing his belt. I just pull my mouth away all together so I can get a visual on my hands. I glance up at Thomus’ face to find his heated gaze focused on mine. 

“Sorry,” I mutter, looking down at the matter at hand. “Not very sexy, I know.”

“Oh, on the contrary,” he says and inhales sharply when my hands finally wrap around his swollen cock. My palms glide up and down gently before giving it a firm squeeze. My thumb circles his head, spreading a bead of pre-cum, and he leans forward, lips and tongue tracing a path from my neck to my breasts. One of his big hands cups my breast and when he immediately bites down on my nipple, I gasp and whimper. His tongue soothes away the pain, swirling around the stiff peak. 

His other hand slides down my thigh, fingers feeling the dimples and divots until they hook behind my knee. My hands go to his shoulders for balance as he lifts my foot until it’s on the bench. His fingers quickly glide back up my thigh, this time underneath it to where it’s most sensitive and softest. 

Thomus’ lips release my nipple and he pulls back enough to see my face. “I think you’re very sexy,” he murmurs. “From this pretty little pussy of yours” - his fingers glide through my folds, teasingly spreading the slipperiness from the center to my clit - “to those lips I just can’t seem to get enough of.”

His thumb presses in on my clit and my train of thought struggles to stay on track. “You’re pretty hot too,” I say breathily. “You’ve got these shoulders and thighs and hands that just -” My words are cut off by a moan when he slips two fingers inside me.

“That just what?” he teases, unmistakably smug. 

It takes me a moment to answer because his thumb in combination with his fingers curling against my g-spot have my hips rocking and my brain turning to mush. My breaths come in short pants and my eyes are pinched closed, focused on riding the pleasurable waves his fingers are orchestrating. 

“Concentrate, darling,” he presses. “Answer me.”

“Hands,” I gasp, my fingers digging into his shoulders, “hands that do terrible… awful things to me.”

His fingers turn aggressive, pressing harder and rhythmic as he hums in approval. “That’s a good girl.”

His lips return to my nipple and that pushes me past the point of no return. A stream of curses and Thomus’ name tumble from my mouth. My toes curl and my body goes stiff as my orgasm washes over me. Thomus slows his long fingers, but still presses in hard on my g-spot as my pussy pulses around him.

When I can finally breathe again, I push at Thomus’ shoulders and he leans back, bringing his drenched digits up to his mouth. He groans at my taste and resituates himself on the bench, pushing his pants and briefs past his thighs. I’m still dazed from my orgasm when Thomus pulls me on top of him. He holds his cock at the base and guides me until he’s sliding home, deep inside my pussy. 

“Oh fuck,” I moan, my eyes closing. This position never fails to put him as deep inside as possible, and if I really sit on his lap, he’s hitting my cervix. But that would be painful, so instead I move my hips around slowly, figuring out what angle works best and won’t kill my thighs. One particular move makes him groan and my eyes flutter open to find his locked intently on me, watching my body move. I definitely found the right one.

I start to go a little faster, a little harder. I have a hand on a window pane and the other grasping his shoulder to stabilize me. My thighs are burning, but the pain isn’t enough to make me stop. He’s inside me, and I love being connected like this. What I feel for him never feels more real than it does in moments like this. When I can’t be in denial.

With the increasing intensity of my hips, little whimpers start to tumble from my mouth alongside my panting. My bottom lip is nailed between my teeth and as I can feel my orgasm hurtling towards me, fuck is the only word coming out of my mouth. 

Whenever he feels they could use more attention, his hands never fail to stray to my breasts. Supporting them as they bounce and sway, leaning forward to kiss and nibble at my nipples. 

“So fucking beautiful,” I hear him grind out above the steady and erotic sound of our bodies joining. 

My orgasm is close - so, so close. I’m starting to go crazed, desperate to cum again. Thomus is, too. I can hear it in his voice as he groans.

“Baby, I need you to cum on me.” His voice is strained like he’s in utter agony. 

I let out a frustrated whimper as I pause to grind on his lap, hoping for an angle that hits my clit. 

“I need - can you - ?” I gasp out. 

I don’t even have to finish my sentence before his fingers wiggle in under my belly. My pussy’s so slippery, the pads of his fingers find the hood of my clit and press in, rubbing it in circles. My hips jerk, bouncing up and down on his cock, continuing even as my orgasm finally crashes over my body. I throw my head back as my back arches. His body stiffens below me as he cums, groaning out his pleasure.

“Beautiful darling, well done,” he pants with praise after we both have a chance to breathe, his voice shaking. “I lov-”

Thomus is abruptly cut off by loud banging on his door.

We both jump like we’ve been hit. There’s a moment where our eyes meet and I see panic cross his face just as it does on mine. 

“Thomus!” a familiar man’s voice calls from beyond the door. 

Thomus blinks, his expression hardening. He brings a finger up to his lips, warning me to be quiet. “Closet,” he whispers. “Go. Now.”

Nodding, my legs are like jelly as I push myself off of him. He’s hastily throwing on his suit as I bend to scoop up my nightgown and undies. I dash for the closet. It’s dark enough I can just hide behind the open door. Instead of the nightgown though, I opt for my pants and hoodie. Plus a pair of Thomus’ socks while I’m at it because mine are lost in the sheets somewhere.

While I’m desperately dressing, the man at the door calls for Thomus again. “Where have you been, Thomus? I’ve been sent to fetch your ungrateful ass.”

I squeeze behind the closet door to peek through the crack between the hinges just as Thomus strides to the door. He’s fully dressed and smoothing back his hair with his fingers. He pauses to take a deep breath before opening the door. 

It’s Rodolphus. 

“What do you want,” Thomus demands, sounding amazingly composed.

Rodolphus leans a hand on the doorframe. “You missed your brother’s toast,” he says, a mocking lilt to his tone. His hair is disheveled, the tie to his tux hangs loose around his neck. “How could you have missed this moment to show support for the Dark Lord? Your family? ”

“I don’t answer to you,” Thomus says. He keeps his back straight and his chin up.

Rodolphus puts a finger to his chin, tapping it. “And then I remembered a few other times you’ve mysteriously disappeared from similar events,” Rodolphus continues before abruptly shoving past Thomus into the room. Thomus tries grabbing his coat tails, but he somehow avoids him.

Rodolphus stops in the middle of the room, eyeing it while slowly turning back to Thomus. He inhales heavily through his nose and steps back towards the window with the bench. “A moment ago, I was convinced you were up here fucking my wife,” he says casually. He reaches for something on it and my anxiety explodes in my chest the moment I see him pick up my glasses. “Of course, I was only half-right. This room reeks of sex, but my wife has never hid.”

Rodolphus drops my glasses and stomps on them with his shoe, crushing my lenses under his sole. The glass crunches as he turns, backing up towards the closet. Thomus watches him with furious eyes. His hands are empty, but I know in the blink of an eye he’d have his wand.

“I’m surprised you can still get it up for her since her… accident ,” Rodolphus taunts. “She’s utterly repulsing if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” Thomus bites.

He’s so close to the closet. My fingers feel for anything on the shelf behind me and immediately feel the unmistakable smooth metal of Thomus’ shoehorn, the very one I tried to pummel him with. 

Maybe New Year’s Eve kisses are good luck.

I raise it over my head as he steps to the doorway.

“Your silence is very telling,” Rodolphus chuckles as he slowly steps into the closet. I hear his footsteps on the wood floor as he disappears on the other side of the door.

I’ve shoved my anxiety down enough so I don’t panic as he reappears, wand scanning the room.

Just as he turns to me, I transfigure the shoehorn into a dagger, and hold it up to his throat.

#tom hiddleston #writing #the auction #plus size reader #tom hiddleston x reader #harry potter fanfiction #voldemort wins au #slowburn #enemies to lovers #the spare #dramione #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston x plus size ofc #plus size oc #hurt/comfort #deatheater!tomhiddleston #tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston angst #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fan fiction #harry potter au #new years fic

[spacefinch]

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay:  I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

#pokemon #pokemon bw #trainer hilda #trainer hilbert #trainer cheren #trainer bianca #trainer nate #trainer rosa #trainer hugh #gym leader cilan #gym leader chili #gym leader cress #gym leader lenora #gym leader burgh #elite four grimsley #gym leader elesa #submas #ingo #emmet #champion iris #gym leader drayden #n harmonia #team plasma ghestis #team plasma colress #gym leader roxie #incorrect quotes

[dandelion-wings]

i’m really curious to know your general thoughts on varka, just based on what we know about him so far 👀

I mean, as I said in that ask, the vibe I get is of someone who does not want the administrative or civil sides of his job at all. XD I am convinced that we're going to get someone with significant physical prowess who has definitely done some heroic, Champion-of-Mondstadt stuff, and my premise at the moment is that he's probably ended up Grand Master on a combination of heroism and charisma. Even Jean likes him, and we know how much he's dumped on her--and that the corruption of the Knights under Eroch was also under him, given that Hidden Strife makes clear that he didn't know until the incident with Diluc. (And assigned Jean to clean it up instead of handling it himself, though that's just as likely him making the call that if he'd missed it in the first place, he wouldn't be able to ferret it out on his own, as it could be laziness.) I suspect he's a good battlefield leader, since personal heroism and charisma can't carry him forever if he's getting his subordinates regularly killed, and I suspect he thinks that's most of what matters. My personal theory is that Eroch managed to insinuate himself and his cronies into the Knights in the first place because he was happy to take on duties that Varka was happy to delegate, but whether that's specifically true or not, Varka... is demonstrably happy to delegate.

I recruited Mika into the expedition team to hone his combat skills. As for why he reports directly to me... Well, since Jean isn't with us, I needed someone trustworthy to deal with all the odd errands, hahaha. - Varka's "explanation" to "Alder Knight" Frederica after a session of drinking.

(I hope she kicked his fucking ass. Anyway.)

I've started leaning towards him being more savvy and competent than I wrote him in An Open Hand, but that aside, his appearances there are still a reasonable representation of how I imagine him: leaning very heavily on the 'bluff and friendly hero' archetype, willing to let other people handle things for him, and often more careless than he should be, but tuning in hard and getting dangerous when he feels things have escalated to his own level. He can kick every ass in Mondstadt and almost all of them out of it, he knows it, and that knowledge allows him to cheerfully dismiss other aspects of his own authority even when he... maybe really shouldn't. Because there's a Gunnhildr there to pick up behind him, so why should he be concerned?

(I desperately want him to be a Ripped Grandpa, but I already know Hoyo is going to do me wrong on that point and am in preemptive mourning. I will treasure my mental image of him as such until they tear it bloodied from my hands.)

#asked and answered #knight meta #a lot of this is of course headcanons #piecing together the thin canon we have so far #but an additional headcanon is that part of jean's apparent inability to delegate #is in direct reaction to varka's willingness to do so having unfortunate consequences (like the eroch thing) #obviously there's overall gunnhildr influence here too. but that reaction as well alongside