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chelseachilly · 11 months

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king of my heart - pt 12

hold on to the memories they will hold on to you and i will hold on to you

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: it’s euro time baby!!! warnings: some smut at the end :) word count: 4k

a/n: hi!! this chapter was so fun to write, maybe my favourite so far?? i hope you guys like it, please let me know what you think! there’s only one more left after this <3

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benchilwell

liked by masonmount, jackgrealish and others

benchilwell Back at it! Feeling fit and thrilled to be back in time for the end of the season 💙

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yourusername Looking fit, that’s for sure 😍😍😍

benchilwell Hahah thanks gorgeous 😏

chillyfan1 living for them flirting on insta

After a long and arduous journey, the day finally comes that Ben is able to step foot on the pitch at Stamford Bridge again.

It feels like a lifetime since you’ve seen him play, and you couldn’t be more excited. You’re seated in a box with Kai’s girlfriend Sophia, anxiously awaiting kickoff.

You know how hard Ben has trained for this moment and that he’s been cleared by a team of doctors and physios who are at the top of their field, but you can’t help but feel incredibly nervous as you see him emerge from the tunnel with the rest of the team.

“Hey, he’ll be fine,” Sophia says reassuringly, patting your arm. “I know it’s nerve-wracking the first time back, but he’s ready for this.”

You nod, forcing a smile despite the anxiety still lodged in your chest, which you suspect won’t go away until the final whistle is blown.

It’s a tough match against Arsenal today, and only the second last of the season. You know how crucial today’s game is for securing their spot in the top 4, and as a Chelsea fan, you’re incredibly nervous about the outcome.

It’s 1-1 at halftime, and continues to be until late in the second half.

Your fists are clenched tightly as you see the Arsenal striker on the breakaway, sprinting toward the goal. A few of the Chelsea players are trying to catch up to him, but Ben is the fastest, making a successful challenge and passing the ball back to a teammate as the crowd roars.

Your panic begins to dwindle as the game finishes up and Ben continues to play with the level of skill and talent that he possessed before his injury. He’s back - really, truly, finally back to playing the game he loves.

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The week that the England squad is set to be announced for the Euros, you can tell how nervous Ben is.

He’s proven himself to have made a spectacular recovery in the last two Premier League games of the season, but it remains to be seen whether that was soon enough for him to have caught Gareth Southgate’s attention.

You’re incredibly anxious, too, as you wait for any news. This is what he’s been working toward his whole career, his whole life. To play for England on that scale, to finally get the chance to show the world what he is capable of, is everything he’s ever wanted. It’s the reason he’s fought so hard this year, through all the pain and setbacks.

As a result, you’ve both found a fun, helpful way to distract yourselves - having sex in every corner of your house, as often as possible. It began with you “christening” the home after you first officially moved in, which you knew didn’t make a lot of sense as Ben’s lived there the whole time you’ve been dating and you’ve already pretty much had sex in every room.

Then, it became a useful tool when Ben was getting particularly anxious about the call-up, which was becoming more and more often as the day drew closer. You’re also enjoying his return to full fitness for numerous reasons, including the fact that he’s now able to carry you upstairs and have his way with you like he used to, displaying a level of athleticism you had sorely missed.

This particular morning, you were having a lazy cuddle on the sofa watching Sky Sports, which inevitably led to the pundits discussing the possible England lineup and Ben pulling you into his lap to take his mind off it.

You’ve helped each other strip most of your clothes off - you in only your knickers and the t-shirt of Ben’s that you slept in, him in only his boxers - when his phone starts to ring.

“Shit, I’d better-“

“Yes, get it!” you exclaim, tearing yourself off him.

Ben would never normally take a call while you’re in the middle of such activities, but it’s a different scenario when he’s waiting to hear from the manager of the national team.

He scrambles around frantically looking for his phone, eventually finding it between the couch cushions.

“It’s Southgate,” Ben exhales as he looks at the Caller ID, and your eyes go wide.

“Answer it!”

Ben nods and gulps quickly before taking the call.

“Hello?”

Your heart is racing with anticipation and you briefly wish you had asked him to put it on speaker as Ben paces back and forth across the room, saying nothing except the odd “yes, sir,” giving you absolutely nothing to go off.

After a minute or two, Ben ends the call with a “thank you, I won’t let you down,” and your breath hitches. The moment he hangs up, he turns back to look at you with a slightly dazed expression.

“Did you-“ you begin to ask, and he just nods as a massive smile takes over his face.

“I got the call up,” Ben confirms, nodding his head. “I’m in the squad!”

You squeal with delight as you run across the room to him, throwing your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He catches you and holds you just as close, burying his face in your neck.

“You did it, baby,” you sigh with relief, your fingers digging in slightly to his bare shoulders. “Your hard work paid off. I’m so proud of you.”

He pulls back just enough to crash his lips down on yours in one of the most passionate kisses you’ve ever shared, his soft lips parting to slide his tongue into your mouth.

“Good thing we’re already dressed to celebrate,” you murmur teasingly, tightening your legs around him so you press against his hardened cock, making him moan against your mouth.

Within seconds, he has you laid out on the couch, climbing over you and smothering you with kisses as his hands work to remove the remaining clothing you have on.

The time leading up to the Euros seems to drag on forever.

You’re so incredibly happy and proud that Ben made the squad, and you wouldn’t have it any other way, but you underestimated how much you would miss him while he’s away at the training camp.

You’d gotten used to him being home all the time while he was injured, so you can’t help but suffer from a bit of separation anxiety while he’s gone, and you find yourself texting and calling him more often than you’re proud to admit.

It gets to the point that when Ben picks up the phone, you hear a chorus of “hi, Y/N!” on the other line before he’s even greeted you. It’s one thing being teased by Mason or James or even Jack, who you consider close friends, but you do feel a bit embarrassed to think of national heroes like Harry Kane or Marcus Rashford knowing you as Ben’s needy girlfriend.

Mostly, though, you’re just so excited to finally get to see Ben play at such a massive level, achieving his childhood dreams.

You obviously can’t miss an entire month of work to relocate to Germany, but you make travel plans and take vacation days to ensure that you see as many as possible. Every time you show up to a game and get to see Ben play his heart out for England, it’s all worth it.

As the weeks go on, England continues to succeed and Ben gets more and more playing time. He’s obviously proven himself as a force to be reckoned with, having come back even stronger from his injury, and it makes your heart swell with pride each time you see him come on - whether you’re watching on TV or in person.

When England makes it to the semi-final against Italy, there’s not a chance in hell that you’re missing it. You make the necessary arrangements at work and book flights for you and Charlotte before letting Ben know that you’ll be there.

You only get to see him for a few minutes when you fly in the morning or the match, as he’s deep in training mode for what may very well be one of the most important games of his career.

“You’re going to be amazing,” you tell him earnestly, cupping his face. “Whether the gaffer subs you on in the 89th minute or you’re on the starting lineup - which you should be - I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks, baby, you have no idea how much it means to have you here,” Ben says quietly, squeezing your waist. “I’ll see you after the game.”

He leaves you in his hotel room as he returns to the training pitch for warmups. You know his hopes aren’t high for much playing time in such an important game, but you’re still optimistic. He’s been just as good or better than the other left-back on the team, and he’s already got two assists and some impressive defensive plays to show for it.

Above all, you know he wants his team to win, however that is achieved. You just - a bit selfishly, maybe - want Ben to play a role in that win.

An hour before kick-off, you and Charlotte change into your Chilwell and Mount England NT shirts, respectively, and head down to the Alilianz Arena, home of Bayern Munich.

It’s definitely one of the most massive and electric sporting events you’ve ever been to, including some impressive games hosted at Wembley. The crowd is full of fans from all across Europe, and both English and Italian flags line the stands.

“Oh my god, did you look at the lineup?” Charlotte asks, glancing at her phone as you take your seats with some of the other girls.

You shake your head and she shoves her phone in your hand. Your eyes immediately scan down the list until you see “CHILWELL” in big bold font.

“Oh my god!” you practically shriek. “Ben’s starting!”

“That’s amazing, babe!” Sasha exclaims from beside you, grabbing your arm.

As kick-off approaches, you see the teams make their way out of the tunnel. Seeing Ben stand on the pitch as the national anthem plays, dressed in his England kit, fills you with unimaginable pride.

The next 90-odd minutes are some of the most intense and exhilarating of your life. You’re on the edge of your seat the entire time, jumping up when anything happens.

Kane scores first, followed by an immediate equalizer from Italy. At the end of the first half, the Italian side gets one more past Pickford, which appears to be offside but is ultimately ruled a goal.

At halftime, the mood in the English supporter section is somewhat grim, but you know they can turn this around. They need two goals to win this, and they have an incredibly strong team here.

You send Ben a quick text as Charlotte and Lauren run to grab you some cocktails to take the edge off.

You - 3:52PM Amazing start, babe. You got this second half 💪💕

When the game resumes, the team appears to have been reinvigorated during the break.

England starts strong, retaining possession well and creating some solid chances. You know it’s only a matter of time before they score and level the game.

Then, the most remarkable thing happens.

Ben is running toward the net with the ball, Italy’s defense lagging behind as they attempt to catch up with him. He’s running faster than you’ve ever seen him, obviously looking for an open teammate, and his eyes find Jack from across the pitch. He passes to him with incredible precision, despite the speed he was running at, but Jack doesn’t have a clear shot on goal.

In a split second decision, Jack passes the ball right back to Ben, who volleys it without a second thought.

There’s a brief moment of hesitation as you wait for confirmation of the goal, and then the crowd erupts with cheers.

You jump up in your seat, screaming at the top of your lungs along with thousands of other supporters. You’re pretty sure your boyfriend is the most beloved man in England at the moment, but the moment he realizes it’s a goal, he turns to where he knows you’re sitting and points right at you.

“And it appears Ben Chilwell is dedicating this goal, his first in a major international tournament and his first since returning from injury, to someone special in the England supporter section!” the commentator declares, making you blush as you feel so many eyes on you.

The game continues, and you’re unable to take your eyes off Ben as he continues to dominate on the pitch, their defense like an unbreakable barrier for the Italians.

In the final minutes, Saka scores with an assist from Declan, and the crowd goes wild once more. The final whistle blows, and you all jump up and cheer as England takes the win, advancing them to the final.

You feel like you’re buzzing off much more than the couple of drinks you’ve had as the stadium erupts with cheers and chants from the English fans, the players celebrating enthusiastically on the pitch.

You and the girls rush down to meet them in the changing room, and there’s already music blaring and champagne being sprayed everywhere as you enter. They have a week until the final, so they can let loose a bit tonight.

“Y/N!” Reece exclaims, the first person you see when you walk into the room. “We did it!”

“You did it!” you shout back over the noise, pulling him into a tight hug. “Have you seen-“

“He’s over there,” Reece says with a knowing smile, gesturing to the other side of the room, where Ben is posing for photos with Bukayo and Mason.

The moment Ben sees you, his already wide grin grows impossibly bigger. He drops his arms that were around his teammates and holds them open for you.

You don’t think about the many people watching you, or the fact that they’re all currently recording on their phones, or anything other than running into Ben’s arms and hugging him as tightly as possible.

When you reach him, he catches you and spins you around in the centre of the room, making you laugh into his neck as you squeeze him tight.

“That was incredible!” you say, your voice muffled by his skin as you leave a few kisses there. “That goal, Ben, I-you took my breath away. You’re amazing.”

Ben pulls back and cups your face in both hands, kissing you firmly. Your kiss him back just as fervently, trying to convey every emotion of the past two hours into one touch of your lips.

“Thank you,” are the first words out of Ben’s mouth when he pulls back, staring at you as if you had gone out there and scored all three goals yourself. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you, babe. Seriously.”

You meet his wide, slightly watery eyes, getting lost in them just like you do for hours on end when you lay in bed together, or for a brief moment each time you meet his gaze from across a crowded room.

There were so many times over the past year that you saw nothing but pain in those beautiful blue eyes of his, and all you wanted was to fast forward to this moment - this perfect, glorious moment - when he would be healed and back to achieving his biggest dreams.

Every time you woke up in the middle of the night to find him in pain, clutching his knee, making your heart shatter in a million pieces; every argument you had over what was best for him; every game that he had to watch from the sidelines.

Every setback, every gruelling physio session, every time he wanted to quit but didn’t.

It all led to this - him making a massive impact, securing his team’s place in the Euro final and giving them the chance to make history.

“Baby, why are you crying?” Ben asks softly, and you snap out of your train of thought to find him caressing your face and wiping away the tears that have started falling from your cheeks.

“I’m just so proud of you,” you choke out, smiling through your tears. “I knew you could do it.”

“Thank you for believing in me,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead, followed by a few more to your cheeks and lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you breathe, pulling him into another tight hug - partly because you want to feel his warmth all around you again, and partly so you can hide your tears in his shoulder. You’ve had enough of being totally emotionally vulnerable in front of thirty other people for one night.

A couple of hours later, you’re still partying with everyone at a club near your hotel, celebrating the win while also ensuring the boys drink enough water and don’t get too out of control. You know Southgate will be thanking you for that tomorrow when they show up to training with hopefully not too much of a hangover.

Ben is definitely feeling a buzz after just a few drinks, though, especially after having not really drank at all since they’ve been in Germany. He’s even touchier than usual, constantly keeping an arm around you or his hand in yours as you walk around chatting with his teammates and their girlfriends.

Eventually, you two end up in the corner of a booth squished between Jack Grealish and James Maddison, watching with amusement as Mason and Declan attempt Wonderwall on karaoke.

Everyone is laughing and documenting it, but Ben is fairly focused on you in his lap, his thumb stroking the exposed skin between your shirt - with his name on the back, which is definitely getting him going - and your jeans.

He’s pressing kisses to your neck every once in a while, sending shivers up your spine and making you wonder how obvious it would be if you two disappeared to the bathroom for a few minutes.

“Oi, look who went viral,” Madders chuckles, sliding his phone over to you and Ben.

You’re not sure who posted it first, but the video of you leaping into Ben’s arms in the changing room seems to have gained millions of views already.

“Oh, god,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “Our families are gonna see me making out with you.”

“Worth it,” Ben laughs, kissing your shoulder. “It’s a cute video, to be fair.”

You giggle as Ben begins to trail his kisses up your neck, not hesitating to show you affection even amongst all his teammates. You love seeing him in this great of a mood, riding on the high of his performance today, which earned him his first Player of the Match award for England.

“Have I told you how proud I am of you?” you murmur in his ear, pressing your lips to his temple.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it,” Ben jokes, squeezing your thigh - you’ve probably told him about ten times since you left the stadium, not to mention the thousands of times you’ve repeated the words to him throughout his recovery.

“Well, then,” you smirk, shifting your weight on his lap so that you run against his crotch just enough to drive him crazy. “Want me to show you?”

Ben’s eyes darken as they look into yours, seeing just how serious you are. It’s almost comical how quickly he shoves Madders out of the way so the two of you can escape the booth.

“Going to celebrate the win, Chilly?” Jack asks teasingly, slinging his arm around Sasha as he sips his beer.

“Yes, we are,” you say smugly, taking Ben’s hand in yours. “We’ll see you all at breakfast. Maybe.”

The guys all laugh at your unusually brazen comments, but Ben just tugs on your hand like an impatient child, clearly ready to go back to your room.

“Night, boys,” Ben says, already looking toward the door, and you laugh as you’re dragged along with him.

Within fifteen minutes, you’re making out in the elevator on the way up to your room, and within twenty, all of your clothes are off and you’re riding him on the king-sized bed as he moans into your mouth.

“So good,” Ben groans, his fingers digging into your hips as they roll over his. “Fuck, baby, you’re so amazing.”

“You’re amazing,” you sigh, pushing down on his shoulders for leverage as you try to thrust him deeper inside you. “You’re so good, Ben. So strong. You feel so good inside me.”

He grips your hips even tighter and thrusts upward into you, making you cry out in pleasure as he increases the speed and intensity.

You knew it would be good, but this is one of the best times you’ve ever had - and you and Ben have had some great ones. Every touch feels like an electric shock to your system, every kiss is like a drug, and every pump inside you makes you feel like you’re ascending to another plane of existence.

“I love you,” Ben groans, and you can feel him getting close as you approach your own climax.

“I love y-oh!”

You cry out in pleasure as you crumple over him in your release, your body relaxing against his.

Ben holds you close for a moment, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder as you ride out the orgasm, still joined together.

“You good, love?” he asks in a breathy whisper.

He waits for your nod of consent before moving you onto your sides carefully and thrusting into you a few more times. He moans into the crook of your neck as he comes, finally collapsing against the mattress.

You lay there, both breathing heavily, for a moment before meeting each other’s eyes. A wide smile spreads across Ben’s face as he looks at you, sheer adoration in his eyes despite the fact that you’re sure you look like a mess right now, your hair tangled and your makeup smudged.

“That was the best thing that happened to me today, and the bar was really fucking high,” Ben laughs, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you closer.

You laugh into his chest, nuzzling your nose against his warm and slightly sweaty skin, pressing a kiss there.

“I need a shower,” you mumble into his skin - after a few hours in a crowded football stadium, then in a locker room full of sweaty men, followed by a night club, you’re definitely in need of one.

“Me too,” Ben smiles, although he showered after the match. “Let’s go.”

Eager for more already, you don’t argue when he follows you into the shower.

Regardless of what happens in the final, he’s your champion, and you’re going to treat him as such.

yourusername 📍 Germany

yourusername So proud of you @benchilwell 🥹❤️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 It’s been a dream come true watching you play for England after everything you’ve overcome in the past year. No matter what happens on Saturday, you’ve accomplished something incredible here. You inspire me every day with your strength and your determination. I love you ❤️❤️❤️ #itscominghome

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benchilwell Thanks baby ❤️ couldn’t have done any of this without you. I love you!!!

charlottewright Y’all are too adorable I can’t take it!!!

kennedyalexa Fav couple 🥹

tagging: @xjval @majx00 @delicateearthquakellama @lunamelona @kenanlotus0 @madriiid @mountstars @ttzamara

a/n: please excuse my terrible attempts at photoshop at the end there 😭

next (and last!) chapter 💕

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell imagine #chelsea fc imagine #komh

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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year

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My Blood Origin Review (mild, mild spoilers)

You should watch Blood Origin if:

You love fantasy. You love a ragtag crew of misfits. You love women in fantasy, especially cool women who can sing like angels and fight like demons and avenge their lost loves and give rousing speeches. You don't mind tropey fantasy that is primarily fun more than anything else. You want to have a good time. You want to see Joey Batey covered in blood. You love to see queer people in fantasy. You want to see Michelle Yeoh school some motherfuckers. You love to see Black women in fantasy, breaking down barriers and being gorgeous and talented.

You should not watch Blood Origin if:

You expect it to adhere faithfully to book lore and/or your own headcanons. You demand the highest production value and fresh innovative dialogue. You need slow, unrushed, authentic character dev in your fantasy shows. You are very attached to your existing ideas of Avallac'h and Eredin and are not prepared for origin stories where Avallac'h is a baby twink who doesn't know shit yet, and Eredin is a himbo who vastly misreads what everyone around him is capable of, and who is so dickmatized, he doesn't realize he is being followed by someone he literally RUNS IN TO.

I personally had a great time with it. Yes, I like Serious shows with incredible writing like Andor or Severance. But I also love just...bananas, tropey, fantasy. I really, very much do. I also love a squad. A crew. A ragtag bunch. It's my jam.

As a show (not an adaptation of the book material) my experience with it was a solid 7.5/10. It was fun and I'm in love with Éile, Fjal, Scian, Brother Death, and Meldof especially. I'll admit, it was a whole lot easier for me to roll with it because none of my favorite book characters were in it, so the stakes for 'adheres to canon' were very very low for me personally. I have also thoroughly let go of the expectation that Netflix will adapt witchers the way I interpret them whatsoever.

If people want my detailed reactions, I did take some notes and I'll post if anyone's interested.

#the witcher #the witcher: blood origin #blood origin

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stormblessed95 · 1 year

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Hello storm, i asked this question in another jikook blog but as you are very detailed in your responses i wanted your perspective on it as well. Do you find it a bit strange that from the Taekook perspective Tae seems to only be gay for Jungkook? Let me explain.

Tae has a whole squad of male friends (handsome males), he hangs out with, seems to be close to Park Bogum and even went to an art exhibit with him and they have their own version of GCF, yet not only have I seen Tkkers shrug them off as friends but have 0 malice for Park (not that i want them to) but seem to loathe Jimin? How come? Doesnt Bogum threaten your ship just as much if not more than Jimin?

So in the Taekook world Tae and Kook are deep in love in a ltr and their only threat is Jimin? How does that work. If Jungkook is Tae's type and vice versa, Jimin doesnt fit that mold so why be threatened by his prescence? Park Bogum is tall, gorgeous, talented, if anything he posses a bigger threat since he fits the mold of guys Tae should be into. So why is he shrugged off but Jimin hated and seen as a p*rv and a threat?

I know i am asking a mouthful but when you spend a few minutes thinking about the mind of a Jimin anti, it really shows how irrational these people are.

The tkkrs who do think Tae is only gay for JK, or vice versa where JK is only gay Tae (this is also about the jkkrs who think JK is only gay for Jimin too btw) aren't doing anything but fetishizing a mlm queer relationship for their own fantasies and gratification for their own abysmal love life and/or their own sexual gratification. Both are a problem. It's not okay. And I absolutely blame the media for the crappy representation and fetishizating stereotypes they give queer characters. Because that's then also how these types of shippers view BTS. As characters for them to play out their fantasies with. It's not okay. These are the same people who will ship the members but then at the same time not actually support queer people or the community. It's the "ew gay people" crowd who also go "lol so who do you think the bottom is??" It's the same people who always view one as "the man" and the other as "the girlfriend." They are cosplaying support for queer people behind a ship that they don't TRULY believe in. Because if Tae or JK ever came out as gay, or confirmed they are boyfriends and are gay. Those same people who gloat about winning but also have a really fucking hard time continuing to support them "in their sins." Either you think they are queer and you support them regardless of if they are in the gay ship you want them in, or you don't. Full stop. There is no "I'm only gay for...." there are LOTS of sexualities out there where you are attracted to a variety of genders or non at all. It's all okay, but people don't get to decide that for you. Because that's a cop out of actually supporting and caring for the person(s) you claim to love and support in their queerness and otherwise.

As for the irrationality of being a Jimin anti? You absolutely answered that for yourself. Lol they aren't "threatened" by their other male friendships because they don't actually view think they are gay, therefore other men aren't a "threat." Jimin a "threat" simply because he is the most rival ship, they want to win and they throw all their homophobic and misogynistic ideas and tendencies onto him. It's fucked up.

Idk if any this ended up making sense or if my angry rant just ended up wordy and ranty. But oof this is a topic that gets my gears grinding 😅 thanks for the ask

#fetishization runs rampant in the shipper community #and its a huge problem #jikook antis #JM antis #fetishizers dont actually support gay people either

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whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 years

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ahhh i meant changbin and the rest of skz in lee know’s fic!! (unless they all take place in the same universe lol) also yes, v soft yandere changbin supremacy?? like idk people see him as a tough and violent yandere character butno, have you seen his smile?? like a shorter, growing version of wonho. just wholesome and cute and all things good in the world as well as an awesome talented person. also am excited for your jeongin fic omg ;_;

yes, soft yanderes are just so good...like i love writing them too. i cannot write violence nor read it if it’s too much, but maybe just subtle yandereness is just so so perfect and i love love love when it’s “not too much” and can be dismissed as something normal and romantic when it’s really not.

but the whole bad sleeping schedule...yeah, that’s me lol. i’m glad i made you so happy ^^ i aim to tell the truth to amazing writers like yourself. and thank you so much for saying i write bangers, you’re so sweet >.<

They might take place in the same universe... because Hyunjin is in Jeongins... I'm not gonna spoil it, but after you read it tomorrow, I'll let you know why it might (and that thought might just become a whole different fic in itself) :))) (a yandere skz universe though, it's a universe I want to jump into for a quick minute and then jump right back out of lol) BUT CHANGBIN IS SOFT NO MATTER WHAT! The leather jacket does not fool me, he is a teddy bear and I know this man gives the best hugs, and only the softest of soft people can simply look like they give great hugs. And his smile is so precious, he really is the best boy, just a sweetheart.

Writing violence is so hard. And I've read a couple yandere fics where it was mainly violence and I was like "gahhhhd damn...". I like being subtle with it because it's all based on just how manipulative they can be. The reader isn't being threatened to stay, and they're not scared to leave... they want to stay because they just assume it's a normal argument or fight because the relationship seems normal. It's crazy in a psychological way and I love it.

Bad Sleeping Schedule squad! It's 3AM and I'm writing out the character summaries for my next fic so I can start that as soon as I wake up in the morning.... :'D You're so sweet!! AHHH! But I aim to tell the truth too, and you're an amazing writer as well, and your theme is gorgeous, your whole blog is *chefs kiss* <3

#<3sunflwryu #nana answers #crying in my coffee rn :')

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tackytigerfic · 2 years

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My Tumblr Year in Review

I posted 2,274 times in 2021

145 posts created (6%)

2129 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 14.7 posts.

I added 3,596 tags in 2021

#i queue - 1085 posts

#drarry - 546 posts

#drarry fic rec - 393 posts

#drarry art - 339 posts

#gorgeous art - 259 posts

#drarry squad - 252 posts

#drarry rec list - 202 posts

#drarry microfic - 187 posts

#my talented friend - 184 posts

#gorgeous microfic - 149 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#harry will never change or at least draco will never be far enough away from his face to notice it changing not if he can help it anyway.

My Top Posts in 2021

(four of the five are microfics, i have loved being in the @drarrymicrofic community this year - so good for the creative impulse)

In the Hallway

This is a little present for @fw00shy as part of the Wheel of Drarry mini gift exchange. CW for bad dreams, nightmares as part of ptsd, brief mention of canonical deaths, brief mention of abandoned cats. Nothing really happens, it's just a little group moving into Grimmauld and learning to live together and getting pets.

“He’s definitely dead, mate,” Ron says, pale under his freckles from another broken night, Harry screaming the whole house into wakefulness yet again. “You killed him, Harry. We all saw him die.” He crawls into bed next to Harry, already dropping off again as Harry tucks him in, curls around his big warm body until the shivers stop.

“You need to think about therapy,” Hermione tells him the next morning, not unkind about it but impatient, eyes shadowed with exhaustion and her mouth tight. Her hands tremble as she wraps clingfilm around her sandwiches, though when she slips into her new work shoes—sharp-heeled and shiny-reflective—she’s taller, more distracted, as though in her own mind she’s already walking out the door. She thinks Harry has to learn to help himself, and maybe she’s not wrong.

---

“I dream about him too,” Malfoy says. It’s just the two of them in the hallway at fuck knows what time of the night, but Malfoy doesn’t sleep much either, so he never cares about Harry’s nightmares. “It feels so real.”

Harry tells him that for all he knows, it is real; there he is, handsome red-mouthed Tom Riddle stalking the halls of Grimmauld, his smile just for Harry. The almost-relief of the familiarity of him, the way he’s lodged somewhere in Harry’s brain or heart or soul, maybe forever. Maybe Harry is his way back; maybe Harry is his anchor; maybe Harry could dream him back to life.

Malfoy considers that for a while, arms crossed firmly over his chest, the curling tail of a scar a distraction above the opened neck of his pyjamas.

“I suppose it’s not impossible,” he whispers finally, looking worried, and it’s actually a relief to be listened to for once, like maybe the worst hasn’t actually already happened. “But my Mark... my father’s never went away, before, but look—”

He holds out his left arm, fumbles with the sleeve until Harry takes over, pushing the fabric up and up until it bunches hard around the taut bulge of bicep. Malfoy’s arm is clear and unblemished, nothing but the faintest silvering of scar tissue where the Mark had been, and even that’s intersected by something more vivid, more vicious, where Harry’s Sectumsempra has never faded.

Harry’s rushed exhale ruffles Malfoy’s hair.

“Okay,” Harry says. “Okay, that’s a good sign.”

He’s still holding Malfoy’s arm, which is blissfully warm and solid under his fingers, and Malfoy looks at him like something has shifted, gone awry, and then licks his lips. He’s blushing.

When Malfoy kisses him, Harry wonders for a horrible second if this is just another dream. It wouldn't be the first time, after all; Harry’s subconscious conjuring up Malfoy, long-haired and smiling as he pushes Harry up against the wall, one careless hand at Harry’s throat, the other in his hair; or Malfoy pinked up from bed-heat and rumpled from sleep, moving slowly over Harry in a bed that’s too comfortable to be a Grimmauld bed and too big to be anything but a dream bed.

But no, he thinks, in Harry’s dreams Malfoy doesn’t have tired lines around his eyes, and he doesn’t have any scars, especially not so many, flickering in and out of Harry’s vision with every shift of his collar as Malfoy moves restlessly, baring his throat to Harry’s mouth. In Harry’s dreams, Malfoy’s fingers are more sure, more demanding. Dream Malfoy always takes what he wants, but this must be real, because this Malfoy is cautious, waiting for Harry to move again, watching Harry from under his downturned translucent lashes that Harry has never seen this close up.

---

When Sirius shows up, he’s not a dream, Harry's sure of it. Sirius is definitely real, he has to be. He’s in the corridor outside Harry’s room and his hair has the dull petroleum sheen of a night of running with wolves, and all his aristocratic bones are just a little too close to the surface of his skin. Every step is a sway, a concentrated roll from heel to toe, firewhiskey-graceful.

Harry knows he can’t be dreaming because he knows his own brain could never recreate Sirius so accurately, so cruelly. Nearly all the lights are off, and Harry tries to cast a Lumos, but he must have left his wand somewhere, and then Malfoy is beside him, sleek as a seal in his best travelling cloak, eyeing Sirius warily. Malfoy never drinks, doesn’t trust the letting go.

“I knew you’d come back,” Harry says to Sirius, though the minute the words are out he wants to steal them back. He can feel Malfoy looking at him.

Sirius laughs, puts a steadying hand on the wall, the row of house-elf heads staring sightlessly down at him, grotesque. Why haven’t they taken them down yet, Harry wonders.

“Harry,” Sirius says, sweet and smoky, but then he stops, stifled. Slowly his hand rises in front of his face, claws at something Harry can’t see, mouth caught fast on the start of the same old smile, before he starts to fall backwards.

Then Harry wakes, and Malfoy is still there beside him, but there’s no travelling cloak, just a cool moonlit expanse of bare skin, and wary wakefulness.

“Was he really here?” Harry asks, frantic with it, again and again, and Draco rolls him over, presses him into the bed, strokes him quiet.

“That one was a dream,” he answers, and Harry goes limp with relief. “They’re all dreams, remember?”

Harry does remember, but sometimes even in the daytime, even out of the house, he feels them rising in him, each ghost under the skin, in the cords of his larynx, something shifting in the spaces between each beat of his heart.

Hermione says briskly, “We know ghosts exist, Harry. We’ve met them. You’re not being haunted, you’re just traumatised.” Like we all are, she doesn’t say, but it hangs in the air anyway, like yet another spectre. Hermione has been reading the classifieds section of the Prophet, probably looking for somewhere new to live—somewhere neat, somewhere more manageable. Grimmauld has six bedrooms but only two bathrooms, and the drawing room Floo smokes no matter how many times Harry has it cleaned, and the fridge in the kitchen bristles with the half-eaten leftovers of too many people’s incompetent cooking.

“I never expected to have to live with him,” Hermione hisses to Harry when they’re doing the washing up one evening, Malfoy playing cards with Theo and Padma at the big kitchen table behind them.

“Well, don’t then,” Harry whispers back, viciously, and throws his scourer into the sudsy water and storms out, the restless flickering sound of shuffling cards fading behind him.

He doesn’t care that Hermione is leaving, he tells Malfoy later when they’re both sitting on the flat bit of roof just under Harry’s—their—bedroom. They can’t see the stars with all the neon of London around them, but Harry can feel them high above, burning away furiously behind the roiling purplish night clouds.

Malfoy would probably love if Hermione moved out, but he just mentions in a mild tone about how hard she’s been working recently, and when Harry lies back to stare at the sky in a temper, Malfoy efficiently unzips Harry’s jeans and eases himself down into the open V of Harry’s legs. They’re quiet about it, because Hermione’s window is the next one over, and she has an early start the next day. Malfoy’s eyes are bright in the sodium streetlight and he looks blissful with his mouth stuffed full, Harry arching up to meet him, and when Harry comes he feels vaporised, like he’s sizzling off into the stars that he can now see behind his screwed-shut eyelids.

That night Harry has the worst dream of them all. Not a ghost this time, so at least he knows he’s dreaming right from the start. He’s walking the hallway in Grimmauld like he always does in dreams, but he’s in Hermione’s skin. He can see the familiar shape of her as he passes the big mirror at the bottom of the stairs, possessed by self-possession. He knows if he opens his mouth it’s her voice that will come out, but that’s not what makes him wake, shivering with a cold sweat. It’s just that in the dream he’s making his way to the front door, through endless dream corridors, never looking back.

He wakes silently, thankfully, but through the wall he can hear the quiet wakefulness of someone moving around in Hermione’s bedroom, and he thinks of her with an open suitcase on the bed, and how easily her dream body moved towards the door. When Malfoy stirs beside him, murmuring something incomprehensible into the pillow, Harry curls around him, waiting for morning.

---

“Maybe you should take her out to dinner, though make sure it’s somewhere nice,” Malfoy suggests, which is a bit rich considering that he’s sitting in just his pants on the old horsehair couch in the back sitting room, shovelling the contents of a green Pot Noodle into his mouth. Harry can see tiny globular flecks of oil gleaming like constellations on his bare chest where he’s dripped the noodle juice. Harry had thought at first that the more remote Hermione got, the more Malfoy seemed to like her, but he’s starting to understand that Malfoy being kind about her is something calculated, something deliberate. Malfoy wants her to stay because Harry wants her to stay; in his own weird way, he’s trying to help.

Harry doesn’t take her out to dinner, but he does get tickets for the Oscar Wilde exhibition at the British Library and takes her to that. When they listen to the recording of Wilde’s voice, Hermione actually cries, though only a little bit, and when Harry puts his arm around her she leans into him just like she always did.

They get home just after ten o’ clock, and everyone else is out. There’s only Ron left, asleep on the sofa, face placid and unmoving, as dependably dreamless as he always was. Harry smiles, sees the same smile on Hermione’s face, and takes her by the hand to go find Draco.

He’s in the library, sitting in the big creaky swivel chair, staring into the top drawer of the desk. He’s smiling too.

“Look what I found,” he says fondly. “Dumped on Archway Bridge, can you imagine? They like your desk, Potter.”

There are kittens in the drawer, tumbling over each other, paws batting gently at the air. Harry remembers the dream of the night before—he was Remus this time, Harry’s dream self coiled and sheathed in fur, ready to spring, moon-mad—and touches the tip of his tongue to each incisor, carefully testing for too-sharpness.

“Are they real?” he asks Draco, but it’s Hermione who nods, takes his hand in hers.

“They’re beautiful,” she says, sounding pleased and surprised, not even a bit begrudging.

“Can we keep them?” Draco asks, and Hermione says, “I was looking for a crup— I thought, for Harry, you know? But a cat would be just as good, really.”

Harry can already imagine it—the warmth of a shared bed, someone who cares what his dreams are made of, and now a dense sleeping lump of cat wedged into the space behind his bent knees.

“There’s one for each of us, if we want them,” Draco tells them proudly, like it was part of his plan all along, and Harry reaches for one of the kittens—the smallest one, with fur the same murky silver of Draco’s eyes.

“House cats,” Harry says, and in the distance they hear the heavy slam of the front door, raised voices, something merry and familiar. Everyone’s home.

It's also on AO3

351 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 09:34:22 GMT

Something In the Way

“It matches your eyes,” Potter said, and when Draco protested—just a quiet murmur in the peace of the bedroom—Potter patted him lightly on one hip and nudged at his arms.

“Up,” he said, and Draco, sick with love, raised his arms above his head and allowed Potter to slide the jumper on him, big hands stroking it flat over Draco’s stomach until they both shivered.

It sagged, shoulders stretched out, but Potter put his mouth to Draco’s throat above the loose neck and whispered, “I like it so much,” into the skin there, and “Borrow it, if you like,” as though Draco didn't want Potter with him and in him and on him forever; his second skin.

~~~

Here on AO3

Written for the Drarry Discord Drabble Challenge.

Prompt: Borrowed. Word count: 117

354 notes • Posted 2021-01-22 20:16:51 GMT

Lover, You Should've

My entry for @drarrymicrofic, prompt Verklempt. Editing this as just this second I remembered that “lemonade light” comes from a Pulp song, Acrylic Afternoons - so am retrospectively crediting that here now. Apologies for the first 60 notes of no credit, it was totally unintentional and just down to my terrible memory!

“Why don’t you come over?” he asked casually, and when they came through the Floo together they didn’t need to say anything, and it was all a quiet focused blur of body against body.

They were both a bit hungover from the night before, and before they undressed each other, Malfoy closed the shutters against the thin lemonade sunlight so Harry wouldn’t have to squint when he lay on Malfoy’s bed, looking up into Malfoy’s face. It should have been awkward, Harry with his pounding headache, Malfoy a bit red-eyed, unshaven, rumpled-looking; and on top of all that, neither of them really knowing what they were doing.

But actually, it was just so good. Everything felt right, and after a while Harry broke off their kiss to cast a Lumos, all the better to see Malfoy properly. When Harry started to touch him, Malfoy blushed all the way down his chest, and then Harry was straining against the heat of Malfoy’s mouth, sheets rippling under his clutching hands, and the pleasure was so clean and easy that Harry wondered why they had waited so long.

“I don’t sleep well,” Malfoy said later that evening, as though he hadn’t spent the afternoon dozing sweetly, uncurled across half the bed, body a loose line pointing towards Harry. And Harry said, “I don’t either,” wondering what it would be like to wake shivering in the dark from a nightmare to find Malfoy beside him. All that heat to warm himself at.

“Stay the night?” Malfoy asked, and instead of answering, Harry rolled closer and kissed him again, like it was all very simple. And maybe it was.

375 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 17:24:55 GMT

Animated Dust

A very belated birthday ficlet for darling @zigster-ao3 - Veela Draco rescues a dog. Written for @drarrymicrofic prompt Adoption. Title from Lord Byron because of course.

“Malfoy’s got a dog,” Harry said, into his pint.

Angelina rolled her eyes and muttered something about stating the bloody obvious, and Seamus, who had just arrived and who was still taking off his coat, nearly fell over a stool craning his neck to peer at Malfoy across the beer garden. Malfoy wasn’t hard to find, not even in the deepening violet dusk, because of all his hair under the fairy lights. The dog was barely visible though, tucked into the neck of Malfoy’s denim jacket so the row of closed buttons writhed. Malfoy looked preoccupied as he patted the heaving mound, reaching for his drink with the other hand.

Seamus said disappointedly, “You can’t even see the little fecker. I’m going over there,” and he did, without even bothering to get himself a drink first, and within three minutes of Malfoy looking up at him warily, his face a careful blank, Seamus had nabbed the dog and was laughingly getting very enthusiastic licks all over his face. Malfoy was laughing too, face alight with it, the expression weirdly naked, his devotion so obvious that it was like someone had turned the lights right up.

“Malfoy really loves that dog,” Ron said, watching Harry across the table.

“A pub isn’t really the place for it though, is it?” Harry said, and Ron looked around pointedly at all the other tables with dogs lying underneath or tucked up on their owners’ laps, and the drinking bowls the pub had set out against the wall, and the half-empty jar of dog treats on the windowsill.

“You like dogs, Harry,” Ginny said, sounding bored of the conversation, and fed up with Harry specifically, though she dropped a kiss on the top of his head as she got up to go to the bar, which meant she wasn’t really pissed off with him. “You should go over and ask for a cuddle, if you’re so obsessed.”

“Maybe I will.” Harry stuck his tongue out at her retreating figure, and Luna kicked him gently under the table. “I do like dogs.”

He didn’t go over that night, though, because when Seamus finally gave the dog back to Malfoy, it curled right into Malfoy’s chest in a tight circle of limbs and then seemed to fall asleep. Malfoy carefully buttoned his jacket up over it again and got up to leave, his arm a careful cradle around the misshapen lump. But the following Sunday Harry was walking through Victoria Embankment Gardens, clutching a bottle of some cheapo fizzy white wine that was sweating gently in its paper bag, when he saw Malfoy sitting on the grass, all by himself, except for the dog of course.

They were right next to one of the big flower beds, and the dog was leaping in and out of some phlox, sending dusty puffs of dry mud into the air with each thump of its little paws. Malfoy was trying to hold the lead and eat sushi out of a takeaway box at the same time, which didn’t seem to be going too well for him, but from the way he was looking at the dog Harry thought he probably didn’t mind.

“Do you want me to hold the lead?” Harry asked when he reached them, and Malfoy looked up with a start, squinting irritatedly into the midday dazzle of the July sun.

“Potter? What are you doing here?” he asked, and then the dog ducked in behind him with a small squeak, and Malfoy dropped his sushi.

“I was going to sit by the river and drink this,” Harry told him, gesturing with the bottle. “But you looked like you could use a hand.”

“She’s very shy,” Draco muttered, twisting around toward the dog. The lead was straining. “She might not like a stranger holding the lead.”

“She didn’t mind Seamus holding her the other night.” Harry knew he sounded sulky, but he sat down cross-legged on the grass anyway and went on. “I love dogs.”

“Seamus’s dad is a greyhound trainer and Seamus has two massive rescue greyhounds living in his flat in Shoreditch,” Malfoy said primly. “Seamus is great with dogs. But Peggy is very nervous, especially of men. She’s had a tough time of it. So you have to be careful with her.”

“You’re a man,” Harry said accusingly, then blushed as Malfoy raised one silvery eyebrow. In the full of the sun, his features were flattened down to oblique angles, skin gilded, eyelashes fading to translucence like points of stars.

“Not quite,” Malfoy said, and then he stretched self-consciously, rolling his shoulders, and his eyes clouded up for a moment, plum-dark like the London summer dusk. Harry had only seen him flying once but he remembered it—the greedy spreading span of feathers, and the concave arc of Malfoy’s spine as he leaned into the wind, and when he finally took off, the sinuous rolling beat of those wings.

As Malfoy shifted on the grass, the puppy’s quivering nose slid slowly around his side, and Malfoy dropped his arm back and scooped the dog into his lap.

“This is Peggy,” he said proudly.

“Hi, Peggy,” Harry said quietly, reaching a loose fist out to the dog for her to sniff. She gave his hand a cursory nuzzle then retreated back into Malfoy’s embrace, and watched Harry warily. Her head, cocked to one side, was almost square, the white fur ruffled into tufts, and her body looked too small to support it. Her ears were small triangular flaps, her eyes a clear amber, her paws like small shovels at the end of short bowed legs.

“She’s beautiful,” Harry said, enchanted by her suspicious sideways glare, the raised snaky line of scar tissue over the curve of her snout, her precisely-shorn underbelly with an old surgical mark meandering over the velvet of her flesh. “She’s really perfect, Malfoy.”

Malfoy looked torn between surprise and delight, and he looked down at the dog in his lap.

“I always wanted a crup,” he said, “but my parents wouldn’t allow it. It was only when I… you know”—he gestured behind himself, a wide sweeping movement that encompassed open skies, the tender fluttering of pin feathers, the sense of each wingbeat as a counterpoint to Harry’s battering pulse—“that I understood why. Veela magic, or whatever, it drives crups mad. Peggy doesn’t mind though, do you darling?”

He slid his hands around her flanks possessively, stroking her into sleekness. Her eyes rolled in delight before she flopped full-bellied onto Malfoy’s thighs. Harry chanced a rub behind her wonky ears, which she tolerated, eyes sliding shut. Around the muscular span of her neck, Malfoy’s fingers met Harry’s, stayed there.

“I’m possessive.” Malfoy was looking down at the dog in his lap, but his fingers were still on Harry’s, a tremble behind the firmness of his grasp. “It’s the creature in me. I can’t help it.”

“Peggy doesn’t look like she minds,” Harry told him, and as though she already understood her name, Peggy shifted in Malfoy’s lap, stretched her four paws out expansively, settling in. She looked at Harry, and he felt the cold nudge of her damp nose against the inside of his wrist, and then the rasp of her tongue, tentative at first.

“She likes you,” Malfoy said accusingly, like it was all some sort of trick, but his hands were still stroking stroking stroking over the disruption of Harry’s fingers buried deep in Peggy’s fur. Between the two of them, they were sending her to sleep.

428 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 19:53:05 GMT

Semiplume

Inspired by the @drarrymicrofic song prompt “Live to Tell” which is all about hiding secrets. Based on this exquisite Veela Draco art by @fictional. Lynn, you’re one of the most talented and innovative people in this fandom, and you’ve brought me countless hours of joy with your art and writing. I’m so happy I met you, and my wish for you is a year ahead that overflows with good things. This is just a quick drabble since SOMEONE kept their upcoming birthday very quiet 🧐 but just wanted to send some love! Here’s some good dad Draco for you.

Thankfully, the mutation seemed to have skipped Scorpius.

Draco had been worried, because Scorpius was so like him—or looked like him, at least, which wasn’t really the same thing. But Draco had been so afraid, because Scorpius was beautiful, of course, much more so than Draco ever was, so it wouldn’t have come as a surprise if it had turned out that he was hiding the same rogue strand of magic in his DNA. But still, Draco was almost sick with relief when the specialist confirmed it; no Veela gene, no allure, just Scorpius himself, with his heartbreaking smile and tender heart that was, so far, unbruised and unbroken and wholly, entirely human.

It was just Draco’s bad luck, the specialist said. A throwback, she called him, which was how Draco felt when the diagnosis had first come in—like he had been knocked off his feet, blown off course, reversed. It might not manifest, the specialist assured him. It might stay dormant, controllable, that ancient quisling gene that was hibernating inside of him.

But Draco knew it was coming even though it hadn’t happened yet, could feel it in the hollow thump of his lightening bones, like his body was readying him to be snatched upwards on the waiting wind. He could feel it in the itch beneath his fingertips, the incessant needling waiting feeling of something sharp below the surface. And he could feel it in his spine, something solid, fusing for flight, and in his every inhale, like his body was all breath, poised for take off.

“So did I come from an egg?” Scorpius asked into the warm space between them where Draco was curled around him on the bed, Scorpius under the covers, pinker and warmer and plumper than any Malfoy had ever been, Draco over the covers, still pointy, still inclined to flap a bit.

“You wish,” Draco told him, but pushed the hair back off the delicate swell of Scorpius’ forehead, tucked him in tighter, held him closer. Territorial, the specialist had called it, that need to stake a claim, but Draco hadn’t wanted to tell her that all of that was nothing new. From the moment when they had lifted Scorpius out of Draco and into his arms, he had known with certainty that he could (and would) finally kill if he had to. Scorpius had done for him what even Voldemort had failed to do. Scorpius closed his eyes, fumbled a kiss onto the edge of Draco’s mouth.

“Nothing has changed,” Draco whispered into the quiet dark. “Nothing will change.”

--------

“Am I your mate, then?” Harry asked from where he was lying on Draco’s couch, with the big window open all the way so that Draco could feel the beckoning call of the summer evening sky.

“That one’s just an old wives’ tale,” Draco said, chucking a packet of Space Raiders at him, which Harry plucked out of the air casually, gracefully. “And anyway, it’s not like I’m fully… whatever. If you were my mate, you’d know it. Believe me.”

“I dunno,” Harry said indistinctly, mouth full, eyes bright with mischief. He swallowed, smiled. “It felt like you were mating me pretty hard last night.”

Draco went to the window, felt the pull of the night air. His face was hot, eyes stinging.

“Hey.” Harry was behind him, quiet as a cat in his stockinged feet. “Too soon?” He pressed a hand to Draco’s spine, right between where the wings should be.

“Did you know,” Draco said without turning, allowing his shoulders to flex a little under Harry’s grounding touch, “some Veela can only see in black and white.”

“I did,” Harry said. “I looked it up earlier, while you were putting Scorp to bed. I wondered about that one. Your eyes, you know. The colour.”

“No,” Draco said, “No, I see—”. He didn’t say, I see it all, but he knew that Harry understood. The enraging curling red and gold of a Gryffindor flag, or Quidditch pitch green spread out below him while he spiralled higher, always higher; his mother’s best blue dress, the one they had buried her in, and the purple squalling newness of Scorpius, furious and birth-waxy and so brand new, and back again to green, Harry blinking awake in Draco’s big bed, that bright uncanny emerald that maybe came from his mother, or maybe from the Killing Curse, or maybe a bit of both.

“My parents should have told me,” Draco said, and Harry sighed, stroked over the ridges of Draco’s tensing shoulders.

“Did you know,” Harry murmured, and he put his arms around Draco, fearless. “I’d be your mate. If you needed a mate, I mean.”

“Did you know,” Draco answered, “that a Veela’s wings are a secondary erogenous zone?”

“I read about that one too,” Harry replied, voice rich with suppressed laughter. He dipped his head, let his mouth move insistently over Draco’s back, lighting up the jut of scapula and the hard swell of trapezius and deltoid, sending filaments of sensation over the rolling ridge of vertabrae. “Do you feel like showing me?”

When Draco concentrated, he could feel the wings there, magically contained under the skin, so close to the surface; the potential quiver of the air under the primary feathers, the almost-uplift, the press and fold of every almost-moving part.

“Maybe another time,” he said, leaned back so he could rest a while with Harry at his back and the sky ahead of him.

“Is now a good time to ask if you lay eggs?” Harry said.

457 notes • Posted 2021-03-26 23:29:10 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #all microfics #how lovely #pmsl at my longest tag #i think that might be a line i wrote?#my two veela microfics got the most notes #i never check these things so this is all new to me #wow #i was feeling sad that i hadn't written much this year #but i like these?#i wrote things i'm happy with and that's very important #made some brilliant new friends #deepened friendships with existing brilliant friends #i love this fandom and i love this community #ok tacky shush now

48 notes · View notes

octania · 4 years

Text

Benimaru Shinmon x Reader ( NSFW, 18+)

Word count: 3.8 k

Warnings: NSFW,smut,oral sex,sexual teasing, orgasm prohibition

Short description: You were in love with this man for over a year, but your bratty mouth an denial of your feelings got you in a situation where Benimaru will teach you how to behave in very teasing and heated way....

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The air was filled with the scent of a variety of traditional dishes and enriched by the happy shouts of excited residents through the streets. This time, the festival did not mean destruction, this time it was celebrated by making delicious dishes and socializing with each other. The celebration itself began at dawn, when they brought out their wooden tables and portable stoves, beginning to enrich the street with enticing scents of a variety of spices and ingredients. You could also hear the gentle sound of kota, whose strings were gently touched by the pale hands of young talented musicians. While these were all just preparations for the big ceremony that would start when sun kisses the mountains, everyone shared their joy throughout the day. His dark hair fluttered in the morning breeze around his narrowed eyebrows. Ruby eyes barely opened as he passed like a shadow past people. Although it was not visible on the expression on his face, he secretly enjoyed the liveliness that spread through the streets of his hometown. Countless greetings lined up behind him, giving him words of praise and support to which he only nodded a few times, nothing more, and continued his walk. The silence of his thoughts was broken by a hoarse female voice. Although it was rough, it sounded kind of gentle. He soon discovered to whom it belonged, when a plump old woman with black hair streaked with gray strands stepped in front of the captain. Her wrinkled face wearing a smiled from ear to ear, her eyes squinting at the young man.“Benimaru, my boy! I have something for you, please do except my gift in honor to you and the members of your squad.”- she was direct, not talking his ear off, just bowing slightly after her words and handing him a medium sized package. He stared in the thing wrapped in light blue material with a lack of interest that he did not hide not even the slightest. “Tempura and sushi, to hold you till the festival tonight.” – she explained getting back up from the slight bow. After a couple of lazy blinks, he raised his hand and responded. “That is alright, we will wait till the festival.”- without waiting for a response, he passed the woman in attempt to leave, but she was not letting go so easily. Shoving the thing in his hands, she smiled again, not bothered by his behavior.“Nonsense! Twins will love it, and we all know Konro could use a break for cooking today.”- Benimaru sighed, pushing the package slowly back at her, but before he could say anything, a female voice sharp like katana echoed the street. “Obaachan, can you please stop giving food to the people who clearly have no decency to even say thank you? Rudeness should not be rewarded.”- (Y/N) stood at the door of their restaurant, squeezing the sleeves of her kimono. Benimaru didn't say a word, looking at the young girl with the expressionless face. The lack of his reaction only made (Y/N) even angrier as she furiously crossed her arms over her chest. “(Y/N), you watch your mouth! You are addressing our beloved captain, to whom you owe your safety!”- obaachan scolded her, raising her finger as a warning, but that didn't stop (Y/N) from responding with even greater ferocity, targeting Benimaru with a look of utter contempt. “Because he is a captain, he should show more respect to his people and their offerings! Shouldn’t leaders be role models? Poor us if that is the case. People usually pay for the food in our restaurant, and yet he shows no gratitude even when his meal is free!”- she did not waver, her stand proud and determent, not showing even a bit of fear from the man who is the head of this town. “Child, hush! Go back inside right now! Sol help your rude mouth!”- Obaachan started waving her hands, showing (Y/N) to go back inside the house, turning to Benimaru. “I apologize captain Shinmon, (Y/N) did not mean it.”- the elderly woman bowed again, with clear expression of shame smeared around her wrinkled face. Still speechless, Benimaru watched the girl, who was now biting her lower lip in frustration as if it were chewing gum. Eventually, he slung the bundle over his shoulder, turning on his heel. “Thank you for the meal madam (Lastname of your family).” – that was the only thing he said, strolling down the dusty street without turning around again. Even though he wanted to allow his mismatched eyes to gaze upon the fearless woman one more time....

The celebration that had its core in the great hall that belonged to your family, otherwise intended for weddings and large feasts, was already spreading like wildfire. People were raising glasses full of sake, feasting on specialties they had been preparing all day, but they preferred to treat their palates to desserts that belonged to your family restaurant. Young artists danced a traditional dance with fans, attracting curious glances with their gorgeous and colorful kimonos. Outside, the streets were crowded with people, gazing merrily at the early fireworks that ate up the starry sky with their tantalizing shapes. You were in charge of serving the guests who sat on the heated floor of the hall in front of the beautifully carved tables. Countless comments on your beauty and grace have accompanied you in your assignment, while you have given a kind smile to anyone who would praise you. No one has noticed that your eyes jump restlessly from person to person, searching the room in hopes of encountering the phlegmatic face of the man who was the source of your deepest suffering.You were afraid that your sharp tongue had resulted in his absence, that he wouldn't show up for the rest of the evening, maybe not after either. Did you overdo it... or didn't you? He was rude after all! Yes it is true, he is guilty of this! You weren't even aware that your angry thoughts betrayed the state of your mind on your face. You eyebrows narrowed, lips squeezed in a straight line, your body tense, as you rushed towards the kitchen, when a familiar voice addressed you. “(Y/N)! Your family always knew how to make the best celebrations, I congratulate you.”- a tall man with a kind blue eyes that resembled a calm and mysterious sea, smiled at you, holding the door of the kitchen open for you. “Konro! I..”- you stopped for a second, almost dropping the mountain of dirty dishes you were carrying, as your eyes finally find the one they’ve been searching for. A smile almost escaped your lips, but you prevented your rooted emotions to show. Behind the tall man, Benimaru was standing, scanning the room full of cheerful people. He did not even look at you once, and you could feel the frustration rising in you again. Who does he think he is? No matter how much you were bothered by his disinterested posture, your eyes wandered over his crossed arms on his chest, the muscle that adorned his forearms reached to the very core of your desire. The hands filled with veins always looked tense and ready to fight, as if he was waiting to defend the whole world with them, alone. You could no longer resist the sight, you had to run away. Blubbering a couple of thanks to the lieutenant, you ran past his arm into the kitchen, kicking the door with your foot behind you to close them. You took quick steps to the sink and nearly broke half the porcelain plates when you threw them inside. You grasped the edges of the sink, closing your eyes shut and taking a deep breath. Before you could muster your whirlwind of thoughts, a young woman approached you from the back.“You know, if you were not such a proud and bratty thing, you would be breaking beds now and not dishes.” – (B/F – name of your best friend) mocked your state without restraining one bit. Your nerves were thin, and being called out like this only made you react like a cornered animal.“Shut up, I don’t know what you are talking about (B/F). Seriously, if you worked even the half of the time you spend teasing people, we would actually get something done. “-you snapped at her, pulling out bamboo boxes filled to the brim with colorful mochis. “Sure, if you had a bite to support all that barking, maybe you would get something done. I think Benimaru would appreciate your teeth on his skin more than your mouth just bullshiting all the time.”- she did not back down,wrapping the strands of hair around her finger, (B/F) continued before you could counter attack.“How long has it been since you started drooling over Waka? A year? Year and a half? Oh my God, when I remember how pissed you were when you though he was dating that girl from company 8th just because she brought some papers a couple of times.”- the more she talked, the more did rage boil in you, so much that it seemed that steam will start going out of your ears. Her voice only rose as she continued through laughter.“Damn, you made me wait around corners like crazy people just so we can see if they are a couple or not. And when it finally turned out they were not, I will never forget your jumping in the air from excitement.”- before she could say any more , something gooey and sticky landed right on her forehead. She whined in surprise, as the pieces of mochi started falling down her face.“Anything else you want to add?!Huh?!”- you lifted your hand high, ready to throw another mochi at her.“Maybe if you threw yourself on Benimaru in the same way you are throwing this mochi, you would get some and your nerves would calm down!!”- she screamed before ducking down as your hand catapulted another one at her. You didn’t even know that your little show didn’t go as private as you thought. The high tones of the people from the main hall were unfortunately not enough to cover your voices, and one curious ear absorbed every word. Benimaru lowered his head, starting to walk away from the kitchen door. Under his raven hair, a grin was hiding.

He sat quietly watching the people around him fiercely try to get his attention. Some were male neighbors praising his fighting skills, their speech interrupted by hiccups from too much sake was almost humorous, while on the other hand a couple of girls discreetly tried to gain his favor, but all they got was a restrained smile. He brought the glass to his lips to take a sip of the bitter liquid, but there were no more inside. Your grandmother, who was actually only a few seats away from him, noticed the lack of refreshment for the beloved captain, and of course, called your name instantly. “(Y/N)! Fill the captain’s cup!”- you kept away from his table. Actually, you targeted those behind him, in order to better avoid a face-to-face encounter. The things (B/F) told you bothered you too much, and you didn't just want to deepen your cravings and quarrel with yourself over the feelings you carry for this man. Hearing your name, Benimaru tilted his head, looking over his strong shoulder with his glowing eyes. That deep gaze made you swallow, barely keeping you composure. You knew if you came any closer you would break, and you will not give him that satisfaction. You lifted you chin up, pushed back your shoulders, and turned on your heal as the cold answer followed.“He has hands. He can fill it up himself.”- without second thought, you walked away, but you swore you could feel a set of burning eyes following you.

The hallways were empty, all the guests retreated to the main hall. As the night went on, even the workers began to relax, completing their work and joining the rest of the town in celebration. There was no longer a need to bring the food from the kitchen, at least for the time being, the tables were full. (B/F) was the last person leaving the kitchen, as you said you will join her shortly, you just wanted to finish a few things up. Carrying the empty bamboo boxes, you took a turn into the hallway bathed in dim light, crashing with your shoulder into something big and hard. You blinked in shock, barely managing not to drop the boxes on the floor. The thing in front of you was a person, and seeing him made your heart race. Benimaru Shinmon stood there silently, his eyes half opened, shoulders relaxed, while he studied you. You almost bit your lip, but seeing the man baring that uninterested expression once more, made your blood boil instead. “Excuse me is the words you are looking for! You should watch where you are going.”- you said irritated, trying to go pass him, hiding your flustered face beneath your hair. A feeling of slight pain spread throw your back as it crashed on the wall. It took you a couple of seconds to figure out what was going on, that is, you needed to believe that this was not one of your dreams. Pressed with his hips on your abdomen, Benimaru towered over you. He seemed stronger than usual, more dangerous, but there was not a shred of fear in you, just excitement. “Wh..what are you doing?! Get off!”- funny you should say that, when in reality you didn’t wiggle or struggle at all, your big mouth once again just stood in your way in order to show your true feelings. But Benimaru was no fool. He did not respond on your demands, instead, he tilted his head on the side, like he was checking something, then returned his gaze on you. You could feel the ground disappearing under you. You gasped at the unsettling feeling, trying to grab onto something from pure instinct. But the only thing you managed to grab was the one making you lose the floor under your feet in the first place. Benimaru picked you up by your waist, his forearm adorned with prominent veins wrapped around your waist like a snake, not letting go of his prey. He was fast, pushing the door of the kitchen that was empty and dark, kicking it again as they closed with a loud bang that made you flinch, while he turned the key in the lock. “Benimaru ! What the hell? I said let go!”- in reality, you hated the thought of his hands leaving your body. The feeling that flowed through your veins when you were this close to him, almost took over even your insolence, but the bits that were left now squirted like popcorn from your lips. “You are too huffish, (Y/N).”- his voice smooth like honey, but a bit dark. The sudden feeling of falling down made a muffled whine to escape your mouth, but you did not hit the ground. He held you in his lap while he sat down on a kitchen table. Your permanent denial tried to strike for the last time, making you turn around furiously, facing the man who dared to pick you up like a helpless and fragile thing. But the sharpness of your words did not come down from your lips, when sweetness filled your taste buds. The warm flesh of his lips now merged with yours. The bitter taste of the sake he drank from didn't bother you, because for you he tasted like cupid's wine, intoxicating you, maddening your thoughts and driving your senses wild. You felt dizzy from the heat that rushed into your cheeks when he first ran his tongue over yours, caressing its soft surface with his tender muscle. You tried to get some air in your lungs but you didn't know how to breathe, you were so enchanted by his kisses. You almost swore in displeasure when he pulled his lips away from yours.“If you just did this, we would be able to skip the punishment.”- confused, you did not even manage to answer his statement when his hands that were resting on your waist till now, pulled you down and flipped you across his lap. Your knees landed on the wooden surface of the table, as you kept your balance on your elbows in the front. “What…what are you doing?”- you asked with a shaky voice, seeing how his hand hold you by the material of you kimono on your lower back, keeping you steady. “I declined the home made meal from your obaachan today because I knew we already had a meal prepared for the day.”- he said sliding his rough palm of his free hand across your spine, down to the your lower back, all the way to your peachy ass. You bit you lip, shivering when his touch did not stop, traveling down your thigh, then taking a handful of fabric of your kimono.“Taking more would mean throwing it away because it would not be eaten. And that would be disrespectful.”- he jerked your kimono abruptly, exposing your entire lower body. Your perfectly shaped ass made him discreetly lick his lips, while you covered your face with your palms in shame. “I-I…I didn’t k..know that ..”- you tried to explain yourself, but in vain, as his voice responded harshly, accompanied with his finger movement, slipping under the side of your panties. You whined loudly as his index finger brushed along your folds.“You did not bother to ask. But fortunately as you said earlier, I do have my hands. And with my hands I plan to teach you how to behave.”- the sound of tearing fabric filled the kitchen. You bit your hand when you felt the exhaled air from his mouth pass over your naked cunt. He was so close that he could feel the heat coming from it, barely restraining himself from biting into that cookie. You stirred a little, the discomfort ate at you up, the feeling of arousal overcame you.“Don’t look there….Benimaru, please I-….”

“You know how to say please already? Well, I wonder what it will take to teach you to say sorry.”- his fingertips crossed over your silky pussy lips, gently caressing the rosy flesh. You whimpered at the slow pace of his movements. He didn't remove his head, he calmly watched the wet glow slowly appear on those folds. He pushed his finger closer to the opening, collecting some sticky liquid with his fingertip. He didn't push his finger inside, but continued to draw a line along your slit. “Oh my Sol!”- you cried out, squirming already, but that did not even make him flinch. He pushed his digit a bit harder, make it sink into the sensitive flesh, brushing over it all so gently. “Sol will not help you (Y/N), but some manners might. Luckily again, as you said, captain should be a role model, showing the people the art of good manners.”- his thumb slipped across your clit, making the rough skin stimulate it so greatly it made your icing flow more intensely. You yearned for him to do it again, but you were out of luck. This was not supposed to be something to reward you with, this was a straight up lesson to teach you what will happen when your bratty mouth bump into an opponent like Benimaru. He settled his thumb above your throbbing nerve bud, adding another finger to the game. His index and middle finger pulled your pussy lips slowly, massaging them between them. The sensation you were feeling made you feel dizzy. The overwhelming pleasure that arose in you now got your legs shaking without stopping. The feeling was unbearable, because he touched all the sensitive places but leaving the critical ones empty and eager. This teasing was so arousing your juices now strained down your thigh. The crystal like liquid did not go unnoticed by Benimaru, as a grin appeared on his face. Without a second though, he lowered his head, sticking his tongue out and pressing it on your plushy thighs, collecting the juices in long strokes. “Beni!!”- you moaned like a whore, voice filled with begging desire and maddening need, but he did not plan to be interrupted. He slid his hand under you, finding your mouth and sticking the fingers coated in your icing in it.“Clean this up, while I clean you down here.”- he lifted his hand a bit to make you close your mouth around his fingers, pumping them in and out to insure you will do the job well. You sobbed in a low voice as you sucked on your own cum, barely concentrating on his order when the feeling of him patiently licking off the wetness along your thighs and getting closer to your cunt made you almost faint. His soft muscle finally found its way to the grand prize, as he brushed it on your folds and around your entrance in circular motions. You could not take it, you started to push your ass back, trying to make him stick his tongue in, touch your clit, anything to give you the sweet release you so desperately needed. But he will not grant you that. He pressed his mouth right on your heated hole, and started sucking, gathering the last of your juices. You body was on the edge, you could feel your heart skipping a beat, lungs barely catching air and muscles tensing, begging for that much needed release, but the only thing you got was a tender kiss on your clit, before he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, and lifting you off of him. He placed you in the sitting position, spreading your legs so your cunt was fully exposed to him once more. Your own wetness was smeared around your lips. You lowered your gaze, seeing something that made your mouth drop open. On Benimaru’s loose pants, there were more than clear outlines of his thick dick. You never saw something like that before, stretching the fabric mercilessly. He was not big, he was huge, and you wanted every damn inch buried inside of you. But you again forgot that this was not your lucky day….“You can only watch as I get the release that you are forbidden to reach tonight.” he slid his hand under his pants, giving his length a couple of experimental pumps before exposing the beast to you.“If you will behave, next time I will reward you, this time you will only swallow your bratty words…and my cum.”- he started slowly jerking it off, gazing at your plumb lips where his load will end.

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#benimaru shinmon #fire force #enen no shouboutai #benimaru shinmon x reader #benimaru shinmon x you #enen no shouboutai x reader #enen no shouboutai smut #benimaru shinmon headcanons #fire force benimaru #benimaru x reader #enen no shoubotai headcanons

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vvienne · 3 years

Text

TODOBAKUDEKU FIC RECS

Curse of Baytown by surveycorpsjean

With the last of his hope, Shouto stumbles into a strange town. Be it destiny, or be it fate; his life will change forever.

two whole dicks for a half and half bitch by Ascend

Todoroki stumbles his way into a threesome, Midoriya cries into his pants, and Bakugou gets cockblocked no less than twice, but eventually, they all get laid.

Of Respite and Odyssey, Balm and Halcyon, Rapture and Godot, Lear and Pierrot by JayJEx

Aizawa and All Might’s Forever Squad of Problem Children

(8:47 AM) Midorito: @/everyone this is an official callout post for @/Discount IcyHot Patch, who is returning to musutafu tomorrow and DIDN’T EVEN TELL ANY OF US!!!!! ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ

Shouto groans in despair. Predictably, the group chat immediately explodes.

-or-

Todoroki returns to Musutafu after six years away and his tragic inability to keep up with all of the people in his life catches up to him in the worst, most irritating ways possible.

(Though he might at least get a boyfriend or two out of the matter. That’s a plus.)

if it was only a distraction (how come I can't stay away) by Voulezvous_79

He scrolls down and his heart stops - shit, shit, shit, no. Bad Izuku. You are over this. Completely, totally, definitely over any high school crushes that were going nowhere - because it’s the photo.

The one he surreptitiously had as his phone background for his entire first year in America. The one he cried over when he got on the plane. The one he jerked himself off to - once, okay!? It was one time, and he panic-deleted it after he came, and then cried about that, so he’s not proud, okay?

---

Or: Izuku's back in Japan, and he's definitely, totally, 100% coping with his friends' new relationship.

Biology for Assholes by fruiticle

Bakugou, an omega with Pseudo Alpha Syndrome, was content to live with his heatless, smoke-scented, absolutely-not-soft condition.

Really. He wouldn’t change a thing.

JUMP!!! by cxlmberry

Izuku grew up watching Superhero Legend, the iconic, generation-defining anime series featuring the invincible crimefighter All Might. Now, he is ready to become a professional manga author himself, to inspire thousands of people with his own series for decades to come – if only things were that simple.

Weekly Shounen Jump picked up Shouto’s series when he was only sixteen, and since then, he has become one of the most accomplished authors in the magazine. He’s a teenage prodigy. A genius. Jump’s main attraction. Sometimes the stress of it is too much.

Katsuki is talented – extremely, rudely so, and he knows it. An incredible artist and master storyteller, he’s out to become the one and only, undisputed King of Shounen Jump. Now, he only needs to get published.

A story of passions and careers, talent and hard work, second, third and fourth chances, as well as recovery and growth.

---

Alternatively, a budding manga artists AU.

Fire in the Mountains by EllaBesmirched (El_Bell)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

How (Not) to Bribe a Human Sacrifice by maxisnotokay

"You want to kill me?" Katsuki asked, brows raised. He suddenly looked a little less like a king and more like a man, peering at Izuku through the moonlight. "You help me make this cure, and you kill me."

"Those are my conditions," Izuku said. He didn't break his gaze. "A deal's a deal, Kacchan, and I'm trying to be a hero."

+++

[fantasy au. midoriya literally falls from the sky and strikes up a deal with an unlikely candidate. things do not go as planned.]

Guildy Pleasures by Mysecretfanmoments

As the only son of a powerful politician, Todoroki Shouto's life is just one big boring cutscene—except when he logs on to Land of Heroes, where he plays as ShoutO, slaying foes and keeping his fellow guildmates alive. It's enough fun that it almost distracts him from the fact that he's falling for two of those guildmates. Almost. But he's got to stay in stealth mode, because Bakugou and Midoriya are mega-popular streamer duo ZeroDeku… and they're already dating each other.

Shouto has managed to keep his real identity a secret from them all this time, but when he's caught on live television watching one of their streams he ends up not only pulling aggro from the whole country, but catching the attention of ZeroDeku themselves. To his shock, they actually want to meet Shouto, the politician's son—and this time there's no avatar to hide behind.

the universe must have my back, you fell from the sky into my lap by lelex

The picture looks like it was taken in a cafe, Todoroki in a light blue sweater that even from a distance looks wildly soft, seated at a baby grand piano with his short hair effortlessly tousled. It’s one of those photos where it’s obvious Todoroki wasn’t expecting it to be taken—he’s in the middle of looking up at whoever is behind the camera, a smile small on his face but delight evident in the curve of his mouth.

He’s stupidly beautiful. Looking at him for too long makes Izuku kind of sweaty.

They both sit there staring at this one picture for almost three full minutes. In complete silence. Eventually, Kacchan sighs a little bit and tips his head backwards to rest on the couch. Staring up at the ceiling, he murmurs, “Well, shit.”

Izuku can’t stop the lightly hysterical laugh that explodes from his mouth in response.

“We’re fucked.”

Izuku, Katsuki, and Shouto fuck up a meet-cute, twice. But everyone wins in the end.

Cinderoki, the Sweaty Prince, and the Furious Fairy by Esselle

"I wish I could go to the royal ball for Prince Izuku," Shouto finally told the fairy.

Katsuki screwed up his face. "That's it?" Shouto nodded. "Why?"

"It seems fun."

"It's not going to be fun." Katsuki scowled. "It's going to be terrible. You have to have a better wish."

"I want that one," Shouto said.

Todoroki Shouto is cursed. Since he was five years old, he's been locked away from the rest of the world to keep his out of control magic a secret. He thought he could be content with his storybooks—until an invitation comes from the royal palace, inviting his family to attend a ball for Crown Prince Izuku.

Shouto wants to go; he wants to be normal; he wants to leave his cage. Most of all, he wants to know what it's like to live in a fairy tale, even if it's only for one night. Fortunately, he's about to meet one pissed off fairy named Katsuki, who's been watching Shouto his whole life and waiting to make his wish come true.

Powder Keg by Ajaxthegreat

Bakugou really, really, really didn’t want to be trapped in an elevator with Todoroki and a fireproof dildo.

Sensory Input by Esselle

"Captain," Shouto says, clearing his throat. "You put in a request?"

Midoriya stands in front of the window now, staring out at the endless expanse of stars. He turns when Shouto enters. Like Bakugou, he's dressed casually, in a simple grey shirt that stretches over his chest. His green eyes blink wide as though in surprise, before he smiles. It's sheepish and shy. In front of the window, the vastness of space flung out behind him, he's as stunning as a supernova.

"I did, right," he says. "The, um, the thermostat… seems to be, maybe—"

Bakugou cuts him off with a loud sigh. "Quit wastin' his time and tell him why he's really here."

Shouto is a remote crew member of a spaceship—his real body is stationed on a world far away, but his consciousness is housed in a maintenance bot on board the ship. When he manages to attract the attention of the ship's gorgeous captain and fiery first officer, it doesn't take long to discover that the bot's adjustable sensitivity levels have more enjoyable applications than repair work.

#todobakudeku #tdbkdk #fic recs #bnha recs #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki

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charincharge · 4 years

Note

give me all the angst “Why are you — saying all these things??? Where did they come from???”rowaelin

AN: You all asked for a Part 2. Be careful what you wish for lol. If you missed Part 1, read it HERE.

There was nothing more exhausting to Aelin than press. She’d spent her whole life acting, but she hadn’t realized the toll of being the star on a film until she was two months into press junkets, barely sleeping, barely eating. Barely functioning. Aelin was a shell of her former self, but no one seemed to notice.

She smiled politely at her costar, Archer, excusing herself to go use the bathroom before their final interview of the day, and locked the door behind her. She pulled out the small baggie of white powder from her purse and poured some onto the sink counter.

Methodically, she cut it up into three lines. Her hands were well practiced at the motion by now. Swipe, swipe, swipe. Push, push, push. The three lines formed quickly, and Aelin leaned over to inhale them with the leftover coffee straw she’d taken from the green room.

The white dust flew up her nose as she inhaled deeply, relishing in the immediate jolt of energy it gave her. She stood up and straightened her dress and ran her fingers through her hair, still dull and lifeless, despite the hours of prep work from her beauty squad.

Her gorgeous eyes, which once sparkled gold and turquoise now fell flat and expressionless, rimmed with red. The effect of snorting a foreign object up her nose, she supposed.

She reapplied her lipstick and smiled. If she squinted hard enough, she almost bought it. Despite the emptiness she felt, Aelin was nothing if not a good actress. She knew all about playing a part, playing pretend. And she knew the consequences of those actions all too well.

A rap at the door signaled that she had overstayed her welcome in the bathroom and that press was waiting for her. Her publicist’s golden eyes narrowed as she took Aelin’s appearance in, and she didn’t even bother to ask before leaning toward Aelin’s face and wiping residual powder from her nose.

“You know, this is only your first leading role. Seems pretty irresponsible to pick up such a costly habit,” Manon said with a frown, but licked the powder from her nail regardless. “Especially one that’ll kill you.”

Aelin rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder, feeling better already. “Who said anything about paying? Arobynn gives it to me for free,” she laughed, sticking her tongue out at the platinum blonde.

Manon paused and raised a blonde eyebrow. “Nothing with Arobynn is free.”

Aelin swallowed back her discomfort at the truth of her publicist’s reasoning. She thought of all the times Arobynn’s hands casually roamed her body with entitled authority, just taking, taking, taking.

“Let me be a cliché, Man.” Aelin smirked, the whorl of cocaine confidence making her feel infallible, for the time being. “You’re only young once.”

. . .

“So, Arobynn Hammel has called you his muse on more than one occasion,” the interviewer began. “Is that a lot of pressure?”

Aelin smiled graciously. She always got this question, and she hated it more and more every time. But at least she was well-practiced in it. “Of course,” she replied automatically. “But, it’s also amazing. Arobynn is such a talent, and to be even a small part of what inspires his vision is incredibly flattering.”

“And that’s all that is? Nothing more going on between you two?” the interview pressed. Aelin’s lips parted, shocked. There was a strict no-relationship question rule to all her press. She was to be solely viewed as a single, unencumbered muse to the director. Per his contract’s directions.

“You don’t have to answer that, Aelin,” Manon cut in, her lips curled into a warning sneer to the reporter. “That’s not on their list of approved questions.”

The reporter held his hands up. “My bad. Just trying to give the audiences the information they want.”

As if on cue, Arobynn appeared in the doorway. His grey eyes shamelessly dragged across Aelin’s low cut dress, and she wished for a moment that she had a sweater. Instead, she smiled graciously back at him. He had threatened to ruin her if she didn’t play nice, and she believed him. And she’d worked too hard and too long to ruin her career this early on.

Her smile faltered as a familiar face appeared next to Arobynn. One that haunted her most private of moments, since he ran out of her trailer six months ago.

Rowan’s mouth was a firm line, narrow and unmoving as he took her in. His pine eyes skirted across her face, then trailed down her body, narrowing with anger the longer he looked at her. Her heart pounded in her chest, wildly thumping. Although she supposed that could her body craving its next fix, too. She hadn’t been prepared to see him until the premiere next month, and his presence was throwing her for a loop.

She didn’t want to talk to him. If she talked to him, she knew she would break down, and she had been doing such a good job of holding herself together.

With a polite smile, she wrapped up the interview and immediately excused herself back to the bathroom, ignoring Manon’s warning glare.

Her white knuckles grasped the side of the sink as she breathed in and out deeply. Her arms shook with the weight of her emotion. That face. She was so not ready to see that face. Ignoring her trembling fingers, she took out the small baggie from her purse again, hoping the methodical motions would help calm her down. Or at least give her the confidence to say hello and seem unaffected.

She knew she’d repulsed him when she kicked him out of her trailer, but she hadn’t realized how much seeing that same horrible expression across his beautiful face would affect her. Six months had changed absolutely nothing.

Aelin leaned down and inhaled a single bump. It didn’t help. It just made the thoughts race faster, her heart pound harder, and her body shudder.

As she pushed the rest of the drugs back into the baggie, there was a loud knock at the door. Aelin cringed. Manon must be really mad at the way she left the interview if she was knocking with that much intensity.

Her shaking hand went to open the door, ready to apologize to her rightfully uptight publicist, but she gasped upon seeing Rowan’s angry face on the other side. She could feel his fury, coming off of him in waves as he took a step into the bathroom with her.

A soft gasp caught itself in her throat, threatening to choke her with the emotions she felt at seeing him this close in so long. Smelling his comforting smell.

“Aelin,” he said, almost as a sigh, as his anger faltered for a second, morphing into concern. His hand went to her cheek, and she closed her eyes at the sensation of his skin against hers again. It felt like she could breathe again for the first time in months. “Are you okay?” he asked, and her eyes fluttered back open, taking in his furrowed brow, examining her far too closely. No one had seen her in months. But here Rowan was, after merely seconds, really seeing her.

She nodded as his finger rubbed against her cheek, leaning into his hand with gentle pressure. She wanted to cry. She refused to cry.

“I’m fine,” she croaked. She sniffed loudly and rubbed at her nose, hoping there wasn’t any evidence of her energy boost on her face.

“No, you’re not,” he said.

And for some reason it pissed Aelin off. That out of everyone in the world, this man could see through everything she said. Every time but once. The one time she wanted him not to believe her.

She rolled her shoulders back and frowned. “I’m fine,” she repeated with more force, and she watched as fury overtook Rowan’s face again.

“Aelin, you lost twenty pounds you didn’t have to lose.” Though anger lined his face, his voice was quiet with trepidation. “You’re shaking like a leaf. You’re looking at me, but you’re not really looking. So, I’m asking you… what the hell happened?”

Aelin chuckled, hoping to throw him off. “Why are you saying these things?” She paused, taking another tactic. “Where are they coming from?”

Rowan sighed sadly, his hand never leaving her cheek. “You’re really something if you think that’s going to work on me.” He sighed. “I know when I’m being bullshitted, Aelin.”

Do you, she wanted to cry. DO YOU?!

“I’m fine,” she repeated once more, her voice barely above a whisper. But as she looked at Rowan, really actually looked at him, she knew he could see through whatever façade she’d erected. He leaned in closer, and Aelin’s eyes widened.

“Ah, there you are.” Arobynn’s wide hand clapped onto Rowan’s shoulder, and Rowan stood suddenly, his hand dropping from Aelin’s cheek as if he’d been burned. “They’re ready for us.”

Rowan nodded succinctly, never taking his eyes off Aelin as Arobynn slunk around and wrapped his hand around her waist possessively. “I’ll see you later, darling,” he whispered into her hair, his nose brushing against her neck. Her skin prickled painfully under his touch, and she forced herself to relax into it.

As his lips ghosted across her bare shoulder, Rowan’s fists clenched at his side, and she could feel Arobynn’s smile curling his lips into a devlish grin.

He held up another replenished bag of cocaine, slipping it into Aelin’s hand. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Rowan’s lips parted, his face falling with disappointment seeing the answers to the questions Aelin had refused to answer; Arobynn was daring him to say something, anything. But Rowan knew better. Aelin needed to leave, unable to be stared at with such distress. She couldn’t think about that right now. She stuffed the drugs into her purse and brushed past Rowan without saying goodbye.

~*~

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#rowaelin #rowaelin angst #prompt #angst #charincharge writes

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sugasugawarau · 3 years

Text

Happy New Years to you all! I’m a bit late in writing and posting this but I wanted to take the time to properly thank everyone who follows me for sticking with me :) I know I’m not the most active when it comes to writing or even making shitposts so I hope you know it means the world to me that you enjoy my content. While just because 2020 has ended does not mean things will get automatically better, know that you have the capability of making a difference both for yourself and others. I’m proud of you for coming this far and please remember to take care of yourself when you can <3

And I’d also like to take the time to thank some individuals who have made a huge impact on my tumblr experience and have made this year better under the cut! Be warned there are many words and also sorry for any typos I wrote this at 3am :D

I’m going to start off with a few major lo$ers (joking) aka my irl friends that have tumblr

@kbh-ton, @ashr00m, @kae-and-the-lost-dragons

Okay the fact that you all follow me here is EMBARRASSING because you have to endure perceiving me from a sorta totally different perspective but surprise hi,, ily 😹 I know ⅔ of you don’t even use tumblr that often but I digress!! Thank you?? Like I’m not kidding when I say I don’t know where I would be without any of you guys. Stinky pp Paul, you’ve been here with @/sugasugawarau since the beginning-ish and have always been supportive of my absolutely stupid ideas. And my sons AKA get cucked squad, this is going to be ultra sappy but I hope you know how proud I am of the both of you (but no thanks to one of you for teaching us about nussies 😕). Thank you all for tolerating my overthinking ass as well as whenever I get high from a lack of sleep and just in general bc I’m a constant mess of a human being; you are all the best people ik stfu I don’t take criticism.

To my first ever tumblr mutual, @tendouthighs

Hi Codie!! Ik we haven’t talked a lot lately but just know that I appreciate your endless kindness and how you’re able to keep up with my smooth brain antics in dms so much. You’re so funny and I’ll treasure all the jokes and headcanons we’ve made, I hope you’re taking care and doing well heading into 2021! 💖💕

To wife Lyra @yacoka

Miss… Thank you sm for dropping by my inbox all the way back in like June/July because otherwise I don’t think I’d ever have gotten the courage to dm you LOL. It would be an understatement to say that you’re the kindest and most easygoing person I’ve met on here - I hope you know how grateful I am to have met you and read your works (and for lending me your knives and just being so?? supportive??? truly idk how you do it but ily 😣❣️)

To wife Joy @lesbians4yaku

Joy!!! I really don’t know where to start because you’re just so amazing?? And we’ve been mutuals for as long as I can remember ajdjfka I’m just,, so glad to have met you and I hope you know how much I love seeing you on the dash, whether it’s being able to marvel at the genius that is your mind whenever you make a haikyuu shitpost or reading your tags. You always make me laugh and smile and I am wishing you both of those things in 2021 bc u deserve the best, love u 🤍🤍🤍

To Arell, the sweetest soul I know @g4nyu

You have a natural talent for being able to make me both soft ™ and also laugh as freely as Tanaka and Nishinoya with your relatable quips and jokes and I adore you for it. (Also.. can we talk about how absolutely gorgeous your writing is I will nvr shut up.. also also I am here whenever u need to be enabled to rave abt any and all Haikyuu or Genshin characters <33) ily and ty for being my mutual, I feel v lucky to have u in my life 🥺

To Cal, a goddess in her own right @heyhinata

Ma’am the way ily?? You’re beautiful inside and out and I have sm fun talking to you. Being able to call you a mutual and read your works is a blessing and I’m so glad we started talking in dms ajsjfja I’ll never forget plotting smaus with you to raving abt Genshin and making fun of B*n Sh*piro, hidden muppet 😍 Wishing you the best in all that you do!

To Rae, fellow Tim Hortona enthusiast @mehreya

Hi bae I just want to start off with a big thank you. You’re such a wonderful and invigorating person to talk to and I always feel at ease talking with you, and seeing you on my dash with your interactions with others is always a light in my day. And for u I will embrace the Oikawa kinnie in me any day <33 ly and have an amazing New Years 🥰

To Ria, the absolute best and only Ria ik @kumaoi

Omg hi sexc 😍 ahdjkfka idk if you’ll see this but hey,, fun fact even if we don’t talk as much as we used to I still love u sm and I hope you’re staying healthy and happy !! Meeting you was and still is one of the best highlights of my tumblr journey and I’ll always be grateful for your existence

To Gracie, writer of all things beautiful @sneezefiction

Gracie!! I hope you’ve been doing well since the last time we talked and that you’re enjoying the New Years to the fullest <3 You were also one of my earliest mutuals and I just wanted to say thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me and for writing and sharing your works on tumblr. Sending love ! 💖

To the one and only angel, Yas @whipped-cream-writings

Yas bb we only became mutuals rather recently but I have sm love for you 🥺 Your kindness inspires me and your fics are the cutest things ever (pls,,, teach me how to write fluff ahfjfkka) Ilysm and I want to remind you that you’re so wonderful and amazing, sending you all my love for the upcoming year ahead !!

To Kay, who I will protect with my life @kayzume

Kay I don’t know how to even begin to put in words how glad I am to have met you in Lyra’s server,, you’re so sweet and you make me feel safe every time we talk. (Also THE DRAWINGS u made and shared with us,,, have I alr said ily bc ily and all that you do.) I know we haven’t chatted in a while but I’m sending you all my hugs and kithes always 💕💕💖

To mutuals I’ve interacted with some time during these months on tumblr and cherish a whole lot @taiyaaki @kageyuji @sophiawithstars @buddh-art @sa-suga @baeshijima @cherryonigiri @catharsisbabey @tris-does-stuff @tetsurolls @come-on-shitty-boys @iwas-angel @star-puff @voxamcris @azucanela @heartjime @miyafeuille @suikazura @deerixiie @hajiimes @skateme2yokohama @aliteama @yuujiya @omijime and many others but I think I hit the tagging limitajdhfka

Hi ily. You’re all such inspiring and talented individuals and while we may not interact frequently or know each other as well I wish we cld be ajfjjfa but I adore you all and I wish you an amazing New Year 🥺💖 (and if you ever want to talk, feel free to dm or smth! and I’ll try my best to be more active in popping into my mutual’s inboxes amhahshsj)

To the pillars of tumblr @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock @nidaenk

You are all so special to me in that you are the reason I would wake up and get my butt on this hellsite and find so much fun and joy in the fandoms I enjoy - it’s not even the content you post but just,, your amazing and stellar personality and interactions with your followers and mutuals alike. Thank you for being a part of this weird space on the internet and I hope you are taking care and being kind to yourself, love u very much <33

#long post #happy new years !!#again #proud of everyone for making it here #bye i dont mean it to but that sounds so cryptic #i shld stop rambling in tags

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grimoireofwritings · 3 years

Note

Hiii again!! I cant get enough with ur writing. Please if u dont mind making one., again? UMM where Langris is very jealous to the black bull bcoz his s/o (fem) (a member of black bull) and shes very close with them. Or just along the lines? Thank you agaaain!!

Hello again my dear!! No need to apologize, you can send in as much as your heart desires. I am deeply sorry this is sooooo shamefully late. Chronic health difficulties have gotten a bit complicated lately and I'm trying to be more consistent with this blog. Hopefully the scenario was worth the wait!

Also I headcanon William is the squad's therapist on many occasions, you can't change my mind 💀

Scenario: Langris Vaude's fem s/o is in the black bulls.. and he's jealous!!

No matter how much he pushed the aching itch at the front of his mind away, or brushed aside the little intrusive thoughts he experienced day by day, sometimes even going so far as to manifest them in little growls of frustration and the tightening of his jaw... Langris Vaude was failing horribly... Miserably, even, to set aside his personal emotions regarding the whereabouts of his partner.

She... With those gorgeous (e/c) sparkling hues that always lit up at the sight of something she loved.. and the way the sunlight often glimmered so flawlessly against the soft sheen of her hair - was far too beyond his reach for his comfort. Not only that, it completely wracked at his nerves on a daily basis.. that he... That person.. got to see her and her beauty far more than Langris ever did.

His brother. And the black bulls in general. So unworthy of her presence, her stunning grace. Not only that, he knew about his damn brother. And even he had to admit that he'd be a blind fool not to recognize such a gorgeous woman in his proximity. Considering that shameless flirting habit, it made him grit his teeth knowing that Finral was inevitably wooing her on a daily basis. Beyond his control.

"Does he even realize how lucky he is to be graced with her mere presence?? So undeserving.."

This had been Langris' current obsession for about a month now, and it haunted him, even going as far as losing sleep against his own will. It was getting to the point that he was grinding his teeth and mumbling to himself, much to the dismay and terror of his subordinates as he passed them by in the HQ's long hallways... Probably fearing for their lives being so close to his dangerous aura, permeating off of him like a toxin.

But after one last all-nighter of complete mental torture, he was done in, he had finally caved. It took a lot, and I mean a shit load of stress to force Langris into swallowing his pride. Something he was about to do that morning.

He knew Captain Vangeance was up, even at this ungodly hour. The man seemed to enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn to get a head start on his work load, for the sake of having spare time in the evenings to tend to his private garden. Yet here was he, concerningly deep and dark bags under his eyes, as he paced and debated with himself outside the Captain's door to his office, feeling held back by his own dignity on the line to actually knock.

Eventually though, his choice was made for him, as his mumbling was interrupted by the door opening up. There was his Captain, the same trademark amiable smile on his face as he appeared before him, seemingly in a bit of a preoccupied hurry. He halted completely though upon spotting his Vice Captain, raising a brow, before his expression immediately faltered into a look of concern at the sight of Langris appearing so unhinged. Was something going on that he had failed to notice?

"Langris, good morning. You look troubled. Is there something I can help you with?" He tilted his head expectantly, a friendly and welcoming look in his eyes behind that mask of his. Langris bit his lip.. somehow the open offer made him feel even more on edge than he'd expected. Geez.. why did his Captain have to be such an insufferable softie??

Giving a few reluctant grumbles, the shorter spacial mage gave a slow nod. "Yeah... I came for some.. advice" he said, begrudgingly managing to spit out the last word distastefully. And to his slight surprise, Vangeance didn't hesitate to give a nod and he opened up the door to his office, offering the space for the two of them. "Of course. Step inside."

There was a bit of an awkward quietness as they did just that, Langris being sure to avoid eye contact - as he instead focused on the sensation of a crisp breeze passing by through the opened windows and the faint scent of the flowers William cared for in his office. It brought "life" to the space, the Captain had said.. it had made Langris scoff.

He watched Vangeance approach his desk, but instead of circling around to take a seat, he settled for leaning back against the wooden mahogany top, letting it support his weight. "Alright. What's on your mind?" He asked. It honestly sometimes amazed Langris how the Captain managed to speak in a way that was both gentle and calming, yet straightforward and confident.

"I... Have.... A girlfriend..." He started after an agonizingly long pause. Each word seemed so painfully difficult to force out through gritted teeth. But after another few passing moments, the image popped into his tormented mind again. Finral... That ridiculous, stupid, idiotic grin on his face as he flirted in the most unbecoming, disrespectful way to his precious y/n. And that was it - his resolve broke. And his insecurities became less important than his need to vent.

"She's with the black bulls. She's a magic knight under Yami and... Sometimes I just get so pissed off that my damn good for nothing brother gets to spend far more time with her than I ever can. I'm so busy and swamped with work here that I hardly even have time to make plans.. and take her on dates. I want to treat her with the respect and care she deserves, but.. I can't. And that makes me afraid."

He was gritting his teeth, utterly humiliated as tears began to prick his eyes. Why? He figured it was probably because he hadn't actually talked about his feelings with someone in ages. Perhaps he'd repressed more than he realized.

"Afraid she'll abandon you for something or someone else..?" William prompted gently. And Langris nodded. "Yeah.. I mean, my brother. We all know he was the one out of my family that our peers preferred. I was better, I was praised, I was rewarded on a materialistic level for talent. But I was never.. liked. In the way he was. With that whole soft hearted sensitive guy display. She's around him, all day, every day.. and I just... I..."

He finally cracked a bit more and planted his face in his hands, unable to finish. Completely destraught. And he was forced in that moment to face his own inner ugliness - the insecurities and jealousy he felt so much shame for harboring at all.

William gave him a brief moment, both to ensure he had finished saying all he needed to express, and to truly consider those words. He hummed. "I see. It seems this is something that's been deeply disturbing you and impacting your health, even. A very painful and helpless situation, by the sound of it. It pains me to see you so destraught, Langris."

For a moment, as Vangeance removed his mask and placed it neatly beside him, Langris mistook a look of sympathy and empathy in those eyes for something as disgusting as pity. And he snapped, making an impulsive remark in his state of frightened vulnerability.

"Whatever. As if you have any experience with women to begin with, what with that face-"

He halted abruptly before he could finish. No, that was unacceptably harsh. "I apologize." He mumbled, a moment later. William Vangeance sighed deeply, brushing off the remark. It clearly stung but he was far more concerned about his underling than himself at that moment. "You're forgiven, Langris."

The Vice Captain began to shuffle and twitch nervously, this was going so much worse than he even thought possible. But that changed with William's next words.

"Langris. I think you ought to have a little more faith in your partner's judgement, and her decision making. Despite all the time she spends with the black bulls, and your brother, she still chose you, above them. She developed those special feelings for you, and at the end of the day, you are her person.. the person she loves. Trust that judgement of hers, and that she hand selected you for a reason. Women are smart like that, they hardly waste their time with someone they aren't interested in. I am positive she cherishes you, and thinks of you, every day."

He smiled, and even approached his subordinate with a warmth in his expression. "I think.. perhaps it would reassure you to reach out to her, a bit more. She understands you have a lot of responsibility, but with women, I've definitely perceived that they appreciate even the smallest gestures immensely. Send her hand written notes, flowers, or even sweets. Whatever you know she likes the most, and would appreciate as a gesture of affection. It will remind her that you're thinking of her, and likewise, I'm positive she will respond to you in a way that provides you some peace of mind. Rekindle that romance, and maybe even.. consider opening up to her about your feelings, like you have right now."

Langris interrupted, shaking his head stubbornly. "No. Then she'll know how weak I am" he stated. Vangeance chuckled, his smile softening. "Hmm.. I disagree. I can garuntee you that she will perceive such vulnerability as trust. She'll see that you trust her integrity to confide in her. That will strengthen your relationship with her more than anything else. I promise.. just try it once, and tell me how it works out."

Langris puffed a sigh through his cheeks. "Fine... Fine. Fine." He repeated the word, each time a bit more in defeat. "Listen.. I'll try it, but only because I'm desperate. And because I want to, not because you told me to."

With that, William held back a grin of amusement, and he nodded in satisfaction. "Of course. Hopefully, that will help you out. But besides that.. I think I'm going to give you some time off. Go see her, and spend some quality time by her side. I think it would do you some good."

Langris raised a brow, seemingly a bit confused. "But Captain, all my work-" he was interrupted by a hand, that was held upwards with a sense of finality. "No buts. Besides... Your quality of work is suffering anyway due to your current state of health. I'd rather you go take care of yourself first, then return to finish up your tasks properly. Until then, I'll take care of things. You have my word that everything will be fine."

Langris took a few long moments to ponder this, and his Captain's gesture. He started to realize more and more, working alongside Vangeance, why his squad was so fiercely loyal to him, and that their team was so successful to begin with.

"Alright. I'll accept your offer. Vangeance..."

He glanced up at his Captain sheepishly as he followed the scarred man towards the exit of his office.

"Thank you. Very much."

#langris vaude #black clover imagine #black clover scenario #black clover #scenario #william vangeance #the golden dawn #golden dawn

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

Thots on a figure skating au??? 🅱️lease

hmmmmmmm ok so disclaimer that i know nothing about figure skating so i'm just making up whatever

you got me in a difficult position here cuz on the one hand, i'd love for magnus to be a trainer/coreographer. i think it suits him wonderfully and that while obviously he is great at dancing and loves it, i think that he's more on the creative side of things, you know? so i could imagine something like figure skater alec and trainer magnus. and like alec is a shadowhunter so of course that demands a high level of control over your body that is similar to a figure skater's

but at the same time its funny to me to try to imagine alec figure skating when hes a fucking giant like that because like hes so big?? and when ur big like that ur kind of like... mandatorily graceless and clumsy to a degree methinks (not in a like oh hes always tripping and blushing way, more like the "you're on my leg, you asshole" blooper), because things aren't made for you. like really its an actual matter of accessibility sometimes, especially if you actually have the proportions of a real person like alec does (well, except for the yaoi mcfuckhands. they look big even compared to the rest of his ridiculous body he just b standing there and im like christ edward fingerhands we get it) cuz then Everything Is Bigger Than It Should ya feel

so yeah i can't really imagine alec in like, spandex being all graceful and shit, but at the same time rationally i could imagine that for his character, but also no. so i can't really go with that idea without laughing

but also i can't imagine him as a trainer/coreographer and i don't know who the fuck else is involved with figure skating anyway so is alec like, the janitor or some shit???? some fucking basketball player who sees him at the olympics??? lord help me i have no idea

OK SO IT'S BEEN LIKE 5 MONTHS SINCE I FIRST PUT THE FIRST PART OF THIS ANSWER IN MY DRAFTS (rip anon im so sorry) and i THINK i got it!!! alec could be like, the uhh personal trainer? physical trainer? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN like the one dedicated to making sure the figure skater's body is. capable of. dancing. idk how to explain it but you do get it don't you??? ok

i'm mostly going off my dancing experience here (i had dance classes for like, 10 years of my life, and ugh i miss it) and like besides dancing you always have to train like lifting and doing localized training and stuff because you can't really dance if you don't have strength and flexibility and stamina and all that stuff. the only time i would willingly work out was for dancing lmao especially when i was in my hiphop crew. anyway

and while for me the one responsible for that part of training was the same person as my teacher/coreographer (or when i was doing hiphop it was just. on me to do that lmao but i'm not complaining) i figure when you're a professional and not just a dumb kid that's probably two different people, right? if not it is now. idc

i could go with figure skater magnus and trainer alec but also im really feeling the dynamics of coreographer magnus and trainer alec? like it'd be cute/funny to see them trying to work together for that ya know. so sorry that this feels less like a figure skating au especially since it took me so long to answer it but aaa

but also i mean as a coreographer magnus would have to know how to do it obviously so you would most definitely get a figure skating magnus. alec going to close up the gym and seeing magnus practicing by himself just for fun, anyone? and magnus looks gorgeous as ever way more gorgeous than whoever they're coaching but that's just alec's opinion and magnus kind of stops like "oh, i didn't know you were here" and alec's like "oh oops. anyway keep going you're great at this" and magnus feels a little self conscious but soon he gets lost in it again because really he loves doing this and alec is just appreciating the artwork :)

ANYWAY the dynamics of trainer and coreographer are fun. magnus showing up to alec like "hey alec so i need some heavy lifting on them arms cuz meliorn [idk i don't have any better ideas for who they could be coaching] is gonna carry an elephant onstage" and alec is like "uhh" and meliorn is like "a fake elephant" and alec is like "i mean good but i still have questions"

and magnus is like "obviously we would never use trained elephants, the way they are treated is inhumane" and alec is like "you're completely right but also that's your only worry when it comes to meliorn carrying a real elephant?" and magnus is like "i'm sure you could pull it off ;) you're the best after all" and alec gives him that amused smile

advantages of meliorn: they don't care about the flirting anyway since they are literally Like That too

also magnus and alec working out together off the clock, some ogling on both sides and just generally funny competitive shenanigans. especially cuz like magnus is hella fit but alec works in that stupid gym so he knows what he's about. and alec's all smug about it like "i can lift more than you :)" and magnus is like "oh yeah? let's see how you do in the ring" "no" "yes" "no" "why, can you not do it?" "yes. i know my limits" "well that's too bad... because you're going in anyway"

cue alec falling on his face probably but also like goddamn it he's competitive and he's not gonna let magnus have too much of a win so he tries his best rip. anyway then we probably get some hip touching bullshit when magnus tries to explain it to him and magnus is flirting the whole time and alec's laughing and it's sweet

i have half a mind to make up some angsty backstory about how magnus used to be a figure skater too and his partner was (you'll never guess it) camille and then she pulled the rug from under him and he kinda left the competitions altogether for a while. and then he came back as a coreographer (listen, he loves to dance, but creating is one of his favorite parts and he was always involved in coreographing anyway. his old coreographer and him were always having a blast and camille did not like it) and this is kinda his debut as a coreographer at some big shot competition idk and he just feels like he has so much to prove?

lol bonus camille's new coreographer is lorenzo so the hating magnus squad is in thick against him and it's a whole thing you know

OH MEGA ANGSTY camille got him out of the competition because she outed him as trans and he was declassified because something something transphobic bullcrap so he wasn't allowed anymore. i assume this was like right after they won because of course she wouldn't compromise herself, or maybe it was at the beginning/pre-stages of the championship so she had time to find a new partner. yeah that last one and then she won with the coreography that he had helped them create. im saying she did that because he broke up with her finally after years of abuse both in work and out of it so she did that as revenge or to make sure he couldn't have his passion anymore. and it took magnus years to build himself back up as a coreographer this time because transphobia (and racism) in the market but guess what? he is extremely smart and talented and creative so now he is back at the championship and he wants to show the world what they have been missing on

hmmmmm also i implied this is in pairs since magnus and camille used to be one so i think meliorn's pair would probably be izzy and maybe that's why alec's involved? like he was already a personal trainer or whatever which his parents were fine with even though it's not of course as grand as they would've liked (meaning they were total asses about it) but when izzy decided to go into sports/art they lost their shit and didn't want to support her so, you know, alec did and became her trainer. which is just as well because he is the best so like, deal with it. not saying they like kicked her out or anything (esp cuz i imagine part of alec's reasoning is that izzy stood by him when he came out and if they didn't kick him out over being gay they wouldn't kick her out over being a skater but y'know) but they definitely wouldn't support her so they both also feel like they have a lot to prove

lol me: i have half a mind to make this angsty. also me: paragraphs and paragraphs of angsty backstory

anyway they win obviously idk what to tell you they just do cuz we stan talent. camille is second for maximum drama and vengeance, the lightwoods try to get the spotlight once izzy wins and she and alec tell them to fuck off, they advocate for specific rules prohibiting ppl to declassify trans ppl over being trans and that's all i have tbh

sorry it took so long to answer daiudsauihda but i hope that outline is at least interesting for you!

#sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #izzy lightwood #meliorn #lightwood siblings #ask #anonymous #long post #figure skating au #camille belcourt is an abuser

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silverlightqueen · 4 years

Text

Filter - Part 2

‘There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track.’

fratboy/jock!Jimin x cheerleader!reader - e2l, smut, a n g s t, comedy, fluff

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 16.6k+ (she’s a monster omg I’m so sorry)

Warnings - bad language, humiliation (not during sex - he just embarrasses the hell out of her in public), alcohol, drug consumption, explicit discussion of sex, locker room sex, y/n being a brat again, jimin being a dick again (but worse,,,so much worse), dom!jimin, sub!y/n, teasing, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, tit fucking, tit slapping, Jimin’s monster cock makes a return, praise, explicit dirty talk, mild degradation, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, standing sex, asphyxiation, y/n and jimin argue again (multiple times), Jimin is literally the worst human being on earth in this omg I’m sorry for making him terrible, somehow I ended up putting a comment on society and the patriarchy (?) at the end but we go with it, girl power! and if your kpop boy is in this, he’s trash (unless he’s Stray Kids Minho, the only male character in this that deserves rights)

a/n: unedited lol and this really didn’t go the way it was supposed to, but I don’t hate it so here ya go, enjoy! I think in this lockdown, I’ve really started to,,,,hate men and it shows in this fic so I’m sorry to any boys that might be reading this lmao. but anyway thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading this, you’re the best hype girl ever, luv u xoxo (and I promise I’ll work on The Other Half for you and @brinnalaine ) lmk what you think of it, I legit thrive off praise lol x

Read Part 1 first !!!

also I got the banner off google so credit to whoever made it (it has no relevance to the story but it matches the colour scheme so we roll with it lmao)

silverlightqueen masterlist

‘Good afternoon, everyone, and thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate the turn-out, and we’re super excited to see your try-outs! Today is going to be quite simple; we’ll start by speaking to you one-by-one to see the range of movements that you can do. Not everyone on the squad has to be able to fly and tumble, so don’t be worried if you can’t do certain flips or jumps – we try to include people of all abilities as long as the raw talent is there, and you’ll be able to learn a lot if you make the squad. Once we’re aware of what you can do, we’ll group you into smaller groups and teach you a simple routine, a slightly different one for each group. We’ll watch you perform the routine as a group after some practice time, and then we’ll assess your Cheer ability one by one, just a couple flips and jumps and things like that. If you really would rather not do them by yourself, that’s okay. Just let one of the squad know, and we’ll pair you with someone else who feels the same. We understand that some of you may not feel confident enough to perform in front of everyone else by yourselves. And it’s okay if you don’t have much confidence, because that’s something we will work on and help you to improve if you make the squad. Does anybody have any questions?’

Dozens of hopeful faces smile back at me, not one hand rising to ask a question, and I smile back. I was nervous about my first time doing this, speaking in front of everyone as newly elected Cheer Captain, but having the rest of the squad behind me makes me feel better. ‘Okay, great. If you could get into four lines in front of each of the seats at the desk, we’ll get started!’ I say excitedly. Irene, Jisoo, Chen and Jihyo (the most responsible people on the squad) are sat behind the desk to write down what people are able to do, the others on the squad dotted around to help if anyone needs it, and all the people here to try-out head over to the desk. I take a moment to take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and I tilt my head back to feel the sun on my face. The weather’s lovely today, warm and sunny with a slight cool breeze, perfect for cheer try-outs, and the turf of the pitch is healthy and green, not yet ruined by the studs on the bottom of the players’ football boots (training doesn’t start ‘til next week).

‘y/n, relax, babe. Everything’s going well, you did a good job,’ Jennie says from behind me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I nod. ‘Yeah, I know. It’s just… being Cheer Captain, it’s big boots to fill.’ ‘I know, but you’ve got all of us helping you out. You know we’re all here to support you. Stop stressing yourself out,’ she says, and I turn to smile at her. ‘Thank you, Jen.’ ‘Don’t thank me, because now I’ve got bad news,’ she says, looking reluctant to speak, and I side-eye her. ‘What?’ ‘We have spectators.’ ‘We always have spectators.’ ‘That’s not what I meant,’ she says, turning me to look over to the bleachers which are a few metres away. And when I spot a group of ASP boys sat there, watching us and waving when I look over, my heart nearly stops. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding,’ I mutter, putting my hand up to shield my eyes from the sun and see them properly. And of course he’s there. Of course he is.

I haven’t seen him since a week ago today, when I ran out of his room while he was fast asleep and did the most talked about ‘Walk of Shame’ at school in the past year. All week, everyone’s been talking about me and Jimin, and somehow the rumours have spiralled out of control. My friends have reported back that they’ve heard that Hoseok and Namjoon joined us when they walked in on us, that I left before Jimin could finish, that I cried and begged him to let me cum (which my friends have denied on my part despite it being kinda true) and that I left wearing no underwear and flashed everyone on my way out. And that’s not even the worst of the rumours. I’ve tried not to comment on it when people have asked me, and it seems Jimin’s stayed quiet too – I’m sure it would’ve been hot news if he’d said anything.

I woke up the next morning aching, my entire body sore and weak (I really have no idea how I managed to leave the frat house on my feet – it must have been the adrenaline). My neck, jaw and chest were covered in purpling marks, some of them in the shape of his rings, and my waist and ass were covered in dark painful bruises from his tight grip and the endless spanking (the marks and bruises are all still there, by the way, fading but there – I had to cake the makeup on top of them this morning to cover them in my skimpy cheer kit). It hurt to sit down for too long, but it hurt to walk too, so I spent all of Sunday lying down, Jennie nursing me back to health (as she calls it – in reality, she just microwaved some soup for me, and we binge-watched Netflix in bed together). My body isn’t used to intense sex like that because not many university boys are as good at sex as Jimin is. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been zoning out all week (during lectures and seminars, when I was with my friends, at the gym, whilst studying or watching TV, when I was trying to fall in sleep, whilst showering, etc.) thinking back to mind. And I hate it – I hate him. I used to think of him with irritation and borderline rage, but now… the thought of him turns me on. It’s infuriating. I haven’t even gone over to get my stuff – not even my favourite bra (it was sexy and comfy, lacy with no underwire) – for fear of falling back under his stupid spell and getting into his bed again.

When my eyes meet his, it’s like he knows that I’m wet, a small smirk playing at his glossy lips as he runs a vascular hand through his jet-black locks, silver rings glinting in the sunlight. He looks fucking gorgeous, in a pair of loose black slacks and a loose orange shirt, a simple but flattering outfit, with his silver earrings, rings and bracelets. And the irritation inside me pushes down the arousal, and I turn away angrily, hearing their laughter over my shoulder as my eyes meet Jennie’s. ‘I can go speak to them if you want?’ she offers weakly, and I sigh. ‘There’s nothing we can say; they’re allowed to be here. We’re just gonna have to ignore them,’ I say, and she nods, throwing an arm over my shoulders and leading me towards the table.

I oversee the proceedings, making sure everything’s going well, my mind still elsewhere, but after a few minutes, the noise they’re making is unbearable. They’re loud – laughter and shouting echoing around the pitch – and it’s starting to distract the squad, and the people here to try-out. ‘Should I go tell them to shut up?’ Jennie asks, and I nod, reluctant to go over myself. She walks over, hands on her hips, and I know she’s gonna give them hell. But then I start to doubt that when I see them laughing and joking with her, before she comes back over, my expectant gaze being met by her sheepish one. ‘Well?’ I ask, and she winces. ‘They said they don’t take orders from me – only from… the Cheer Captain,’ she says slowly, and I let out a noise of irritation. Jimin being an annoying, difficult, stupid dickhead, I can understand. The others? I thought they were my friends. But obviously they find this whole situation more amusing than anything. It’s not funny for me – I slept with the guy I’m supposed to hate the most! The guy that I do hate the most.

‘I really don’t want to go over there,’ I admit, and Jennie’s eyes soften with sympathy. ‘You don’t have to, y/n, don’t feel pressured. We can cope with their noise – it’s fine, babe,’ she says reassuringly, but I feel guilty. I remember how nervous I was at try-outs, and having a group of rowdy frat boys laughing and shouting every few seconds definitely wouldn’t have helped. It’s up to me as Captain to create a comfortable environment, and with them around, this isn’t comfortable at all. I sigh, shaking my head, before I say, ‘I’ll go.’ ‘Are you sure?’ she asks, and I nod, dread building up inside me. ‘Want me to come with?’ ‘No, you just stay and keep an eye on things.’

I begin walking over, eyes fixed on the ground, and I can literally feel their eyes on me, their anticipation practically palpable. Everyone sat around the pitch is whispering, watching, desperate to see Jimin and I interact after all the rumours of the last week, and I can feel it all, making my nerves build up with every step. When I’m a few feet away from the bleachers, I look up, my eyes instantly meeting his, and I stop, staring at them for a moment. He’s endlessly amused, the smirk on his lips unbearably irritating. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says easily, a ripple of laughter running around the group, and I don’t reply, matching his light gaze with a hard stare of my own. ‘This isn’t funny, guys, and I would’ve thought you’d know better. How do you think they’re gonna feel when they’re doing their routines and you morons are laughing? None of you can do what they’re doing, not in a million years, so don’t you dare come and sit here to rub my personal life in my face without even thinking of how rude and disruptive you’re being. You should be ashamed,’ I say neutrally, not letting any emotion into my voice, because if I do, I’ll lose my temper completely like I did last week and end up screaming at them. The other boys have the courtesy to look embarrassed of themselves, but Jimin just continues to smirk at me, running his thumb over his plump lips. My insides churn with anger at him being such a dick, but I don’t say a thing, waiting for one of them to reply. ‘Sorry, y/n. We didn’t think,’ Jin says, apologetic, and the others mutter apologies too, all except Jimin. ‘Don’t apologise. Just shut up,’ I reply before turning on my heel, walking away and ignoring the indiscernible whispers and stifled laughter.

‘Whatever you said, it definitely worked,’ Jennie says, and I nod curtly, still pissed off. ‘You okay?’ she asks, and my shoulders slump. ‘No. I’m supposed to be the Captain, I’m supposed to be nice and smiley and kind, and now I’m just angry, because of them, because of him,’ I sigh tiredly, and Jen looks at me sadly before putting an arm around my shoulders. ‘Don’t let them get you worked up, babe – today’s important, okay? Just focus on the try-outs,’ Jennie says, and I nod, trying my best to let my annoyance go, but it’s easier said than done. I wait impatiently for the first part of today to be done, desperate to have something to do so I can distract myself. And as soon as the last person has finished speaking to Jisoo, I call for everyone’s attention, telling them to start warming up. I sit down with Irene, Jisoo, Jihyo and Chen, and we quickly put people in similar-ability groups, based on the notes that the four of them have made whilst speaking to them; potential flyers, bases and spotters, and tumblers. The routines aren’t too different – just to test their dancing ability, and to see if they have the kind of body control needed for their different positions.

Once we’ve grouped them, Irene reads out the groups, the flyers with Lisa and Seulgi, bases and spotters with Kai, and tumblers with Momo, the rest of the squad supporting. I take a seat at the desk, making notes on people who catch my eye (they’re all wearing little name stickers, so I send Jennie over to find out their names). Jiwon, the pretty sophomore from last week, is really good – her dancing is great, and she’s light on her feet, the perfect flyer. I’m already certain she’ll make the team, because she’s super smiley and energetic too (I wave at her when I catch her eye, and she waves back excitedly, huge smile on her face). Watching them all learning the dances, making notes, evaluating them, it gets me in the zone. Focusing on this, I’m in my Captain mindset, having completely forgotten about the stupid disruption earlier. There’s definitely some potential here, and I have no doubt we’ll do really well at Nationals this year – I’ll be pissed if we don’t come first (and I’ll also be the first Captain in ten years that doesn’t lead us to victory, which is a pretty big deal).

Once they’ve learnt their dances, we split each group in half so there are less people to focus on, and they perform the dances to us. They’re all quite good – there’s a couple people who, bless them, will definitely not make the team, and I feel bad, but I have to be ruthless. It’s my job to make sure I give us the best chance at winning. We give them a little break after they’ve performed, and we all sit together to compare notes. We’ve pretty much all put the same people down, but we can’t make any final decisions until we watch them do their Cheer moves. ‘Okay, is everybody ready?’ I ask after getting their attention. ‘We’re going to have a look at your moves now. So they’re pretty basic, nothing too strenuous. Can someone show them what they’ve got to do?’ I say, turning to face the squad, and before anyone can speak, Kai says, ‘y/n, you should. You’re the captain after all.’ I return his mischievous grin with a hard stare, but the others all give various agreements, pushing me to show them. ‘I haven’t even warmed up,’ I mutter, everyone laughing.

‘Okay, we’ll start with a basic standing split. So, you just lift your leg, whichever your better leg is, and bring it right up like this, with your arm in front of it, and hold it there for a few seconds,’ I say, my left leg up against my body, my right arm holding my foot above my head. It’s a little painful because I haven’t warmed up, but I’ve done this move enough times that it’s pretty easy. I hear applause a little distance away, knowing it’s those stupid boys, and then everyone trying out starts clapping too, making me drop my leg and laugh embarrassedly. ‘Okay, thanks, guys, you can stop now,’ I say lightly, and everyone starts laughing. I show them all of the other moves – a full split, a pike jump, a toe touch jump, a hurdler jump, a front flip, a back flip and an aerial, getting applause for each movement, triggered by our idiot spectators. ‘So we’ll call you up one-by-one, unless you’ve asked us to go with someone else, and we’d like you to a show us a clasp, a high V, a T motion, and then go into the moves that you’re confident with. Show us your personality – we want bright and bubbly people on the squad, so don’t be afraid to chant or whatever, if you want to,’ I say as I take my seat behind the desk, Irene, Chen, Jihyo, Jisoo and Jennie sat with me, the rest of the squad sat around on the grass, enjoying the warmth and just watching the proceedings.

After a couple of people, it starts to get repetitive, but I remain focused, knowing I need to pay attention to differentiate between the good and the great. Jiwon is fantastic – she’s making the team without a doubt. Once they’re all done (nearly two hours later), I call them all over to sit beside the desk. ‘Thank you all so much for coming, and well done. What you did takes a lot of courage and you should all be so proud of yourselves, whether you make the squad or not. We’ve got your details from earlier, so we’ll be in contact within the next couple days to let you know if you made it. Thank you, and you are free to go,’ I smile, all of them letting out expressions of gratitude as they get up, heading to the bleachers to get their stuff and go. ‘Jiwon!’ I call, the girl turning to look. ‘Can I have a word?’ I say, the girl telling her friends to wait for her as she walks towards me. I head over to her, and we meet in the middle of the pitch, with no-one around. I don’t want anyone to hear and accuse me of favouritism.

‘Hey, y/n.’ ‘Hi, Jiwon. You did a really good job, definitely shone through. You’re fantastic,’ I say, and she smiles shyly. ‘Thank you. I have been cheering for a long time, though, so I did have an advantage,’ she says humbly, and I wave it off. ‘Don’t give me excuses – just accept the compliment. Anyway, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you caught a lot of our eyes, Jiwon. I’m pretty certain you’ll make the squad. First practice is next Saturday, 2 ‘til 4, and we’re just gonna do an introductory session, get to know one another and have a proper look at what everyone can do. Make sure you’re on time, and ready to try out some stunts. And work on your pike jump over the week – your fingers were literally millimetres away from your toes. A little practice, and you’ll have it perfect. And you were the teeniest bit wobbly in your standing split, so just work on your balance a little,’ I say, and she nods enthusiastically, taking in every word. Whilst I’m speaking, I notice Jimin approaching us, and Jiwon does too, looking flustered when she spots him. But she sees the way I ignore him completely, and does the same, just listening to me.

‘Thank you, y/n, I really appreciate it. Also, can I ask for your advice about something?’ she asks, and I nod, surprised she wants my advice. Jimin is now stood right beside us, but neither of us pay attention to his presence, keeping our eyes on each other. ‘What do you do to warm up for your splits? I warm up, but it’s always painful when I do them, and you did them really well, so I thought I’d ask.’ ‘I do a lot of yoga, actually, which really helps. We always get here around twenty minutes before practice, and the others do laps and things like that to warm up, but I do a bit of yoga, which helps loosen my body a lot. And then, just before I start a routine, I bend in half, and hold my head against my shins for like half a minute, to loosen my legs. It’s a little painful, but it gets your legs ready for the stretch that you feel when you’re in the splits,’ I say, and she listens eagerly to every word. His presence is starting to bother me, especially the way he’s completely silent, a stupid smirk on his face. ‘Thank you, y/n. I’m gonna head off now, but thanks for the advice. Are you going to KPN’s party tonight?’ she asks, and I sigh, thinking back to the text invite that Jackson from Kappa Phi Nu sent out a couple days ago. ‘I’m not sure. I was gonna just head to the gym for a late-night workout but Jennie’s trying to convince me to go,’ I explain, and she nods. ‘Well, I hope you do come. It’d be nice to see you there,’ she says, and I smile at her, touched. And then I lose my patience, turning to him with annoyance, and he grins, draping his arms around our waists.

‘My two favourite girls,’ he says with a grin, making me want to slap him, and we both push his arms off us in disgust, moving away from him slightly. ‘Look at you two. Best friends now, huh? If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even know each other, so I think a ‘thank you’ is in order,’ he says smugly, my eyes widening at him as Jiwon shoots him a dirty look. God, I love this girl. ‘Fuck you, Park,’ I say without thinking, and his eyes sparkle, mischief in his grin as he replies, ‘I already did, babe, keep up.’ And then he reaches into his back pocket, pulling his hand back out with something black and lacy hanging off his finger. My favourite bra. ‘Remember? You left this?’ ‘Park!’ I hiss, grabbing it from his hand and panicking for a moment, not sure where to put it (my cheer kit doesn’t have pockets) before I tuck it into his front pocket hastily. It’s too late, though, because everyone in the area who was watching saw it, laughter rippling around us. ‘I would’ve brought your pants too, but they were ripped, so I figured there was no point,’ he says, and I give him an angry stare, jaw hurting from how hard I’m clenching it. He just grins back, Jiwon looking between us for a few seconds before she says, ‘my friends are waiting for me, y/n, so I’m gonna go. I hope to see you later.’ ‘Okay, Jiwon. See you. Remember to work on your pike jump, and your standing splits. If you get here early, we can do some yoga together,’ I say, trying to push down the humiliation as the girl nods with a smile before she goes to join her friends who are watching us. Everyone’s watching us.

‘Your standing splits were good,’ he says, and I sigh, rolling my eyes. ‘I’m literally giving you a compliment!’ ‘I don’t care, you fucking dick.’ ‘Wow, never mind. I was gonna say that I could put your flexibility to good use, but forget it,’ he says, failing to hold back his grin, and I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Why the fuck did you come, Park? I thought I made it clear last week that I’m not interested in you,’ I say harshly, hurt momentarily appearing on his face before he masks it with a smirk, making me feel a little guilty. ‘We always come to watch try-outs. Entertainment for a couple hours. And it doesn’t hurt seeing you in this kit either,’ he says, taking the hem of my skirt into his hand, fingers momentarily skimming against my thigh, and I slap his hand away, feeling exposed in my kit all of a sudden. It’s quite revealing – a short blue skirt with a white border and a long-sleeved blue cropped top with shoulder cut-outs, with our school name written across the chest in white. It’s super cute though, even more so with the white pumps and frilly white ankle socks, and the blue and white bows on our ponytails. The boys wear the same colour scheme, blue and white t-shirts and shorts.

‘I swear to God, Park, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today,’ I say tiredly, and he pouts, eyes still sparkling with amusement. ‘You were last week.’ ‘Things change. You can go now,’ I say pointedly, and he grins, taking a step closer to me, so close I can see every flaw on his face that he doesn’t have, and places a gentle hand on my waist. ‘I’ll go, but one last thing. I’ve gotta go drop my shit off in the changing rooms – Coach said we all have to, ready for next week – and I’ll wait in there for… hmm, shall I be nice? Okay, ten minutes. If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve been thinking about me, and what happened last Saturday, all week long. I have. And I want a round two. I’ll wait for ten minutes,’ he says, voice low and face serious, before his whole demeanour changes, smile stretching his lips, hand falling from my waist as he takes a step back. My lips are parted and face warm, eyes locked with his, and my obviously affected appearance makes him let out a chuckle. ‘Ten minutes, angel. If not, I’ll see you tonight, at KPN, and you can get your bra from me there instead,’ he says with a smile, before turning and walking away, leaving me slightly stunned.

‘Close your mouth, babe, you’ll catch flies,’ Jennie says drily, and I turn to look at her, trying to compose myself. ‘He just asked me for a round two in the changing rooms,’ I whisper, and she gasps loudly, catching the attention of everyone around us. ‘Shut up!’ I hiss, and she claps a hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry, sorry. I’m just… shook. Are you gonna go?’ she asks, and I hesitate to answer, his dark eyes in my mind, my underwear embarrassingly damp. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Bitch, stop kidding yourself – you want to, so just go,’ she says, but before I can reply, Kai joins us. ‘Um, y/n, there are a couple people waiting to ask you some questions,’ he says, and I sigh, looking over his shoulder to see some people hovering. I quickly rush over to them, listening to their questions (which are so unnecessary, might I add? Why do you need to know where to get the uniform from, or the date of Nationals this year, if you’re not even on the squad yet?) and answer them as quickly as I can, trying to be polite, but impatient, worried that my ten minutes will run out.

As soon as the last person’s done, Jennie grabs my arm and whispers, ‘it’s been nine minutes. I’ll pack stuff up, you just go.’ ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I whisper back. I rush off, speed walking across the pitch before someone can stop me, in the direction of the changing rooms. When I reach the door, I push it open slowly, listening out for any voices. And then I wonder – is this a prank? Is this payback for me leaving him last week? Are they all gonna be waiting there to jump out and laugh at me? But, no. He wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn’t stoop that low? ‘Jimin?’ I whisper, hearing nothing back, and I venture in. ‘Jimin?’ I say a little louder, walking down the main aisle slowly, looking between the rows of lockers on either side of me. I call his name again, and when I reach the end of the lockers, stepping out into the open changing area, a wooden bench running around the walls, I feel a pair of hands push me up against the last locker, the metal clang echoing loudly around the room as I try to get my bearings, blinking to see Jimin stood in front of me, his body pressed up against mine.

‘You took eleven minutes, you fucking tease,’ he whispers, hand appearing at my throat and tightening instantly, my mind momentarily thinking back to last week, when he left bruises the shape of his rings around my neck. ‘Didn’t mean to. Got held up,’ I breathe out, and he pushes my head back at an unnatural angle, his dark eyes, blown wide with desire, locking with my own. ‘How can I believe you, after you left last week?’ he spits out, and I feel my stomach turn; I didn’t think he’d be that bothered, but it’s obvious he’s angry that I left him. ‘Never said I’d stay,’ I reply, with a small grin, and he growls angrily, pushing up against me even harder. ‘You’re the first girl that’s ever left without me telling her to. Trying to play me at my own game?’ he asks, amusement creeping into his voice, but he’s mainly angry, veins corded tight and body tense, fist curled and jaw clenched. ‘No. I just don’t like you,’ I reply, voice strained because of his hand tight at my neck, head beginning to go dizzy, and he lets out a humourless laugh.

‘Sure. Of course you don’t. Let’s see how much you don’t like me,’ he says, free hand pushing one of my legs out wider, so he has space to put his hand up my skirt. His finger slides beneath my tight safety shorts, and he lets out a laugh when he feels how wet my underwear is, making me look away from him in embarrassment. ‘Look at me,’ he demands, my eyes flitting back to his as he pushes my pants out of the way, swiping a finger along my dripping wet slit. I let out a shaky breath, and he chuckles. ‘I think you’re lying to me, angel. I think you actually do like me. A lot,’ he grins as he pulls his hand from my skirt, lifting his finger, glistening with my arousal, to my mouth. I keep my lips pressed shut, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make me punish you. This isn’t a repeat of last week – there’s other things I want to do to you,’ he says lowly, a thrill running through me, but I’m still as stubborn as last week. ‘I’m not here for a round two. I’m here for my bra,’ I exhale, and he rolls his eyes with a little laugh, his hand tightening at my neck. ‘You can earn it.’ ‘What is it… with you stealing my… things?’ ‘I didn’t steal anything. You left your bra when you did your little walk of shame. So it’s mine now – it’s been in my room for a week, with your tight jeans and your pretty top and those cute heels, and that little bag, with your keys and lip-gloss and pads in it. And because it’s all mine, I want you to earn it back,’ he replies before leaning down and pressing his lips to my ear, his beautiful scent flooding my senses.

‘Let me fuck your tits,’ he whispers, making my stomach clench with the thought of it, before he pulls back from me, searching my face for any kind of reaction. ‘And they say romance is dead,’ I whisper dryly, and he laughs, a startled laugh, as though he wasn’t expecting a joke from me. It makes my heart flutter a little, which then makes me want to slap myself. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asks with a mischievous grin. ‘No. It isn’t,’ I reply, and he sighs before letting go of me. ‘Fine. Let’s just talk then, if you don’t wanna fuck,’ he says neutrally, sitting down on the bench opposite me, and I’m disarmed at his sudden 180. ‘Sit down, y/n,’ he says, motioning to the bench and, for once, I listen to him, sitting down. He leans back against the wall and runs a hand through his hair, legs spread, thick thighs on display. Last week, the lighting from his bedroom lamp was low and sultry, but the lighting in here is bright and cold, and he still looks fucking gorgeous.

‘Who did you tell?’ he asks, and I know he’s asking what I’ve been wondering all week – who actually knows the full story. ‘Who did you tell?’ I ask, purposely being difficult, and he rolls his eyes, grin pulling at his lips. ‘Hobi and Tae are the only ones that know the full story. Jin, Yoongi, Joon and Kook know vaguely. Now tell me who you told,’ he says, and I’m surprised he’s kept it only to his closest friends – I thought for sure the whole frat would know. ‘y/n. Who did you tell?’ Nayeon, Lisa, Mina, Irene, Dahyun, Yeri, Jeongyeon, Seulgi, Sana, Jisoo, Chaeyoung, Joy, Momo, Wendy, Jihyo, Tzuyu and- ‘Jennie.’ ‘That’s it? Just Jennie?’ ‘And.. a couple of the other girls.’ He raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. ‘Did you tell them everything?’ ‘Only Jennie knows about me leaving when you… wanted me not to,’ I say, and he nods, looking a little embarrassed, and I feel so guilty, but I had to. ‘Why did you do it?’ he asks quietly, and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. ‘Because… we’re supposed to hate each other, and we had sex, Jimin. I couldn’t share a bed with you after that, I just… couldn’t.’ ‘Would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he asks, and I sigh, not wanting him to ask these questions, not wanting him to entertain this possibility. Because Jimin’s the type of boy to want what he can’t have, and as soon as I let him have me, more than just physically, he won’t want me anymore.

I get up and walk over to him, his eyes on me, and when I’m stood right in front of him, in between his legs, I drop to my knees. ‘y/n,’ he says slowly, as though he wants me to wait, but I can’t talk about this right now. ‘Shut up,’ I say before pulling my top over my head and throwing it behind me, leaving me in my bra. He’s quickly distracted, eyes lost in my chest, and I can see the bulge in his jeans growing already. I lift a hand to his crotch, palming him over his jeans, and his head falls back, a little moan falling from his lips. ‘Please, y/n, don’t tease,’ he breathes out, and I clench involuntarily at getting him like this. ‘Take your jeans off,’ I whisper, and he quickly unbuttons and unzips them, holding himself up from the bench and pushing them down with his underwear, just enough to free his cock. He’s only half-hard, but he’s already big, girthy and long, making me lick my lips at the sight of him. He tugs on his length a couple times to get himself fully hard, letting out little grunts, and I feel more arousal dampen my underwear. After a few seconds, I push his hands away, taking his length into my hands, and he shuffles forwards on the bench, giving me proper access to his cock.

I collect my saliva up on my tongue and spit at his dick, the saliva landing on his tip and slowly dripping down his length. I use my hand to spread it out before I take his swollen head into my mouth, kitten licking the tip before swirling my tongue around him. He pulls my bow out of my hair and grabs my ponytail, but restrains himself from trying to control my movements, letting me take my time with him. I don’t wait long before I’m taking him as far into my mouth as possible, before slowly bobbing my head up and down his length. ‘God, angel, your mouth is so fucking good. So good for me, such a dirty girl,’ he praises, head back against the wall but eyes on me, and when I look up at him through my lashes, he grins down at me. I hollow out my cheeks, trying to get my lips around the base of his cock, but my jaw is already hurting from my mouth being around his thick length. ‘Get me all the way in, baby, I know you can,’ he prompts, and I try my hardest, gagging around him, and it’s so fucking messy, saliva around my mouth and dripping down my chin. He decided to help, pushing my head even further down, and when my nose hits his skin, his abdomen contracts, a heavenly moan of my name falling from his lips.

Once I deem his cock sufficiently wet, I remove him from my mouth and reach behind me to unclasp my sports bra, pulling it off, feeling satisfied when his eyes are locked on my breasts. ‘Stand up,’ I say, and he does so, quickly, moving aside to let me sit on the bench. I perch on the edge, knees together, and Jimin stands in front of me, one leg on either side of mine. ‘Push your tits together for me, angel,’ he says, and I do so, the boy moving even closer to me. I feel his head against the bottom of my breasts, wet and hard, before slowly pushing up, breath catching in his throat as he goes as far as he can, his pink tip emerging through my cleavage. ‘Fuck, that feels good. Hold them tighter, babe,’ he says, and it starts to hurt when I do so, but the pleasure on his face as he thrusts, fucking my tits aggressively, more than makes up for it. I spit down into the valley of my breasts, for better lubrication, and he lets out a moan, thrusting even harder. And then he lifts a hand, landing a slap on one of my breasts. ‘Um, ow,’ I say, and he lets out a little chuckle, his thrusting not faltering for a moment. ‘So soft. Best tits I’ve ever seen,’ he says, landing a slap on the other, and I stop myself from slapping his balls because I don’t want to kill his vibe. And he’d probably enjoy it, the kinky bastard. I look down to see precum leaking from his tip, and I lean down, meeting one of his thrusts with my tongue, licking his precum, and he lets out a moan. ‘God, yes, baby. So good for me,’ he grunts, before his thrusts start to slow, until he eventually moves away from me.

‘Love your tits, angel, but I wanna cum in you instead,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the bench. ‘Put your clothes back on,’ he says, my eyes widening in confusion. ‘What? Why?’ ‘Because I’ve always wanted to fuck you while you’re wearing your cheer kit. Hurry up and put it on before I decide to leave,’ he says pointedly, and I feel guilt surge through me as I grab my bra from the floor, pulling it back on, and turning around for him to clasp it for me. He does so, taking ages (it seems he’s better at taking bras off than putting them on), and then I pull my top back over my head. As soon as I’m redressed, he pushes me up against the nearest locker, winding me, before his hand strays down to beneath my skirt. ‘You gonna take these booty shorts off before I rip them off you?’ he says, plump lips against my neck, and I push him off, quickly pulling off my safety shorts (these are the only pair I have at the moment – I ordered a pair online and they’re due in a couple weeks – so I really don’t need him ripping them). ‘They’re safety shorts, not booty shorts,’ I mutter, as I kick them off, and he doesn’t waste any time in pushing me up against the lockers again. He presses his lips to mine in a tame kiss (he doesn’t even use his tongue), mouths moving together for a few seconds before he pulls away, sinking to his knees.

‘You’ve been on your knees for me twice now, baby, so I think it’s time I repaid the favour. And I believe I promised to eat your pussy with my… pretty lips,’ he says, quoting my words from last week, and my stomach turns as he grabs the front of my underwear. He violently pulls at them, tearing them away from my body, and I refrain from kneeing him in the face for ruining a second pair of pants. He pushes my legs apart before pulling one over his shoulder, his face inches from where I need him. ‘Jimin… please,’ I whine, and he chuckles, expelling warm air across my dripping wet core, making me shudder. ‘See, baby, you’re being so good for me today, saying my name, and begging like a good girl. And good girls don’t get punished, don’t get spanked until their ass is raw. Good girls get rewarded,’ he says before his head disappears beneath my skirt and I feel him lick a slow bold stripe across my slit, my hips jerking at the feeling, pushing my core closer to his face. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and I let out a whimper of his name, making him chuckle as he grabs onto my waist to hold me in place. ‘So fucking sweet, angel. Best pussy I’ve ever tasted. Could eat you all day.’ He laps at me like there’s no tomorrow, my hands gripping onto his strong shoulders and head thrown back against the lockers. He brings his fingers to my clit, rubbing slow circles, at the stimulation at my bundle of nerves paired with his long, quick licks have me moaning out his name, my stomach already tightening with the threat of an orgasm.

And then he pushes a finger between my folds, pumping in and out of me as I clench around him. ‘Gotta stretch you out for my fat cock, baby, take it like a good girl. Stop clenching, babe,’ he murmurs soothingly against my inner thigh, his thick finger quickly being joined by another. ‘Ah, Jimin, feels so fucking good,’ I moan out, and he hums in response before attaching his lips to my clit, sucking at the bundle of nerves before adding another finger, three thick digits stretching me out. ‘Such a good little slut for me, angel. You take my fingers so fucking well,’ he says, lips still against my clit, and I feel my high nearing quickly, moans and whimpers escaping from my lips every few seconds. He’s so good with his mouth, his plump lips wrapping around my clit and sucking harshly, before he licks along my folds, fingers still pumping into me, curling against my spongy spot every few seconds, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it, the pace of his fingers ever increasing, his lips and tongue attacking my core with passion.

And then we hear the door of the changing room open, followed by a group of loud male voices, laughing and joking. Before I can even register it, Jimin’s on his feet, scooping me into his arms and practically sprinting into the shower area, rushing into one of the cubicles. He puts me down carefully, a hand over my mouth, and I feel my orgasm fading away because of the fear of being caught by his teammates. And in my mind, the logical thing to do is to be silent and wait for them to leave, right? But Jimin isn’t logical, and he pushes me up against the brick wall, pumping his cock in his free hand. He removes his hand from my mouth, tapping my left leg before tapping his shoulder, and I get the message, putting my leg up over his shoulder, despite thinking that this is a terrible idea. And then he puts his hand back over my mouth before slowly sliding into me, his huge cock stretching me out painfully, filling me up completely, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to moan out his name, my head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. ‘What was that?’ I hear one of the boys say, the others asking what he’s talking about, and I feel panic fill me. But along with the panic is arousal at the idea of being caught, my pussy gushing around him, and he smirks, slowly thrusting into me, the curve of his dick allowing him to hit my g-spot (I’m certain Megan wrote Captain Hook about him).

I hear footsteps nearing us, before they stop abruptly. ‘Oh, my God,’ I hear a voice say quietly, before more footsteps can be heard. ‘What?’ ‘Look.’ ‘Whoa. Is that…?’ ‘Yes. One of the cheerleader’s bows.’ Panic strikes through me, and Jimin just grins, continuing to fuck me slowly, making me feel every inch of him. ‘And those are the shorts they wear, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And are those… pants?’ ‘Yep. And they look ripped.’ ‘Is someone fucking in here?’ ‘No, we’d be able to hear them. They’re probably gone.’ ‘You think?’ ‘Yes. And I don’t wanna double check. Let’s just go.’ I feel my fear ebbing away as the footsteps get quieter before the door opens and closes. We’re both silent for a few moments, just to make sure they’re gone, before Jimin pulls all the way out of me, slamming back in. I let out a loud moan against his hand, which he moves to rest at the base of my throat, cock hammering into me ruthlessly. ‘Look how wet you are for me, baby. My little bitch likes the idea of getting caught with a fat cock inside her, huh? Does the idea of being walked in on turn you on, babe?’ he asks, and all I can do is nod, moans falling from my lips every few seconds as he slams into me, the drag of his cock against my walls making me weak.

‘Taking me so well, angel, letting me fill you up and stretch you out so good, baby,’ he praises, voice strained with effort, as he pounds into me, my mind completely blank of anything, of everything but him. I feel my orgasm nearing, my walls clenching around him, but that doesn’t stop him plunging into me, hard, his balls slapping up against my ass, one hand gripping onto his shoulder whilst the other is splayed against the cold wall. My leg is beginning to hurt being up against his shoulder, especially because all my body weight is resting on the toes of my other foot (I can’t get my whole foot on the floor), but he seems to be enjoying it, able to go deep into me at this angle, his tip hitting my cervix. ‘Look how flexible you are, baby, stretching for me like a good little whore. Gonna put your flexibility to good use all the time, babe – I’ll help keep you in shape for Cheer,’ he promises, fingers straying to my clit as he speaks. And then I feel him twitching inside me. ‘Are you close?’ I ask, and he nods, eyes fluttering shut, and I reach down to cup his balls, trying to push him over the edge. ‘Ah, fuck, feels good, y/n, your pussy’s so fucking good. Gonna cum, gonna fill you up like a good little slut,’ he breathes out, and I tighten around him, his head falling back as he lets out a loud moan of my name, hot cum shooting out of his cock, painting my walls. He continues thrusting, hips stuttering as he works himself through his orgasm, and I stay clenched around him to prolong his high.

Once he’s done, he pulls out, and puts me down carefully, taking a moment to get his breath back before tucking his softening cock into his underwear, zipping himself back up. He looks up at me with a grin, his hair messy, face still glistening with my arousal, eyes dark. ‘Good talk,’ he grins before turning and walking away. ‘Um, Jimin?’ I call after him, stepping out of the cubicle with shaky legs. ‘Yes, y/n?’ he asks, turning to look at me, eyes sparkling with mirth. ‘I didn’t…’ I trail off, unsure of what to say. ‘What? You didn’t cum?’ he asks, and I nod, my stomach twisting with hurt when he smirks and says, ‘I know, angel. Only good girls get to cum. And good girls don’t leave in the middle of the night after being asked to stay.’ My mouth drops open at the thought that he’s not going to make me cum, and he grins even wider, before taking a little pity on me. ‘I’ll tell you what, baby. Come to KPN tonight and come find me, and I’ll make you cum as many times as you want,’ he says, but I’m still furious. ‘You’re not being serious?’ ‘Deadly.’ ‘Jimin, please,’ I say, and he just grins back at me. ‘You might wanna clean yourself up. Got my cum dripping down your leg,’ he says, and I look down to see his thick white release slowly trailing down my skin. I curse under my breath, and when I look back up, Jimin’s already out of sight, whistling a merry tune, before I hear the changing room door open and close behind him. And when I slowly walk towards the lockers, I realise my bow, safety shorts and ripped pants are gone too. And he still hasn’t given me back my favourite bra.

I head over to the sinks to clean myself up, cursing at him the entire time. ‘Fucking bastard, and his stupidly big fat fucking cock, stealing all my stuff and leaving me high and dry with his fucking cum dripping down my fucking leg. Didn’t even give me any fucking aftercare, fucking dick,’ I rant angrily as I take my hair out of its messy ponytail, running my fingers through it. Luckily, I haven’t sweated off any of my makeup, the fading marks from last week fully covered, but it’s still clear I’ve just been fucked. And the fact that I don’t have anything on under my skirt isn’t helpful at all – thank God it isn’t windy today because otherwise, I’ll be flashing everyone. Once I’ve deemed myself okay to leave, I push open the changing room doors, looking side to side to make sure no one’s around before I slip out of the door, quickly making my way to mine and Jennie’s accommodation, trying to ignore how desperate I am for a release right now. And not just any release – one on Jimin’s cock. But that’ll have to wait for later – I’ve got a party to get ready for.

‘Jennie! y/n!’ Yeri exclaims when we walk into the kitchen through the back door, throwing her arms around us in a hug. ‘Hey, Yeri,’ we reply, hugging her back, and when she moves away, her eyes widen. ‘Jen, you look good, but y/n! You look good, girl!’ she exclaims. ‘Oh, thanks, Yeri,’ Jennie says sarcastically, but she doesn’t mean it – Jennie always opts for comfort over fashion at frat parties, usually wearing mom jeans, or a loose t-shirt dress (which she rocks by the way – no one pulls off the casual aesthetic like Jennie). And I never dress up too much, sticking to a simple outfit and dressing it up with heels and jewellery. But today, I decided to go all out, dressing to impress in a tight little black dress, hem around my upper thighs, ruched with a bardot neck (I had to forgo a bra, and used tit tape instead to make sure they don’t sag). I’m in a pair of black sparkly heels, much higher than last week’s, with a silver choker, silver hoops and a thin silver bracelet. Jennie has on a shoulder bag, big enough to fit my things in it, so I didn’t bother with a bag, my phone in my hand and my lipgloss, oil blotting sheets and keys in Jennie’s bag. ‘Thanks, Yeri. But look at you! This top is so cute!’

We greet all our friends, Jeongyeon pushing cups into mine and Jennie’s hands (I’m not sure what it is but it tastes nice), before I take a seat between Tzuyu and Lisa at the kitchen island, instantly getting into a conversation about Cheer. KPN parties are always really laidback – people wear whatever they want, drink whatever they want, and I never feel uncomfortable here, or pressured to act a certain way. I can just be myself, and enjoy the night with my friends. ASP’s the opposite in the sense that there’s always pressure – to look good, to end the night with someone, to give everyone something to gossip about.

‘y/n! You came!’ Jackson exclaims when he sees me, pulling me into an expensive smelling hug. ‘Hey, Jackson!’ ‘I was about to make a comment about how late you are, but you look really good, so I’ll let you off,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘Since when do you have to arrive to parties at a certain time?’ ‘You wouldn’t know, y/n, you’re always fashionably late,’ Tzuyu teases, and I cover my face with embarrassment – never have I arrived at a party before my friends (there’s just something about being there before the party has properly started that makes me want to cringe). ‘Anyway, what are you ladies drinking?’ ‘Diet Coke,’ Tzuyu says as she holds her cup up, Lisa drinking the same. ‘I’m drinking whatever the hell this is – Jeongyeon gave it to me,’ I say, and Jackson takes the cup, sipping from it, before his eyes widen. ‘Yo, this shit slaps. Where’s Jeongyeon? I want some,’ he says, turning away in search of her, and I call after him, ‘get me some more too, please!’

‘So… y/n,’ Lisa says with a knowing grin, making me raise an eyebrow at her. ‘Yes?’ I ask, she and Tzuyu exchanging an amused glance. ‘This dress is nice,’ Tzuyu says with the same knowing look as Lisa, and I look between them suspiciously. ‘Thanks,’ I say slowly, their smiles widening even more. ‘Who are you dressing to impress?’ Lisa asks, and I realise where this conversation is going, letting out a laugh. ‘Ah, you two. Can a girl not dress for herself?’ I grin, both of them raising their eyebrows. ‘Of course. But the timing’s a little suspicious. Not hoping for a round two, are we?’ Tzuyu asks, and I bite my lip embarrassedly. ‘What if we already had round two?’ I say quietly, both of their mouths falling open. ‘What?’ Lisa exclaims, drawing the attention of those around us, and I shut my eyes despairingly. ‘Keep your voice down, stupid!’ Tzuyu exclaims, Lisa murmuring an apology, still looking at me with wide eyes. ‘When?’ ‘Earlier, after practice. I met him in their changing rooms,’ I say, both of them looking even more shocked with each word. ‘Oh, my God! You two are, like, stuck in your own little forbidden and scandalous romance!’ Lisa whispers, and I shoot her a hard look. ‘It’s not a romance. He’s still, like, the most annoying and stupid person I’ve ever met. I mean, he literally left without making me cum, on purpose. He said if I showed up here tonight, he’d make it up to me,’ I whisper, both of them gasping quietly. ‘No way!’ Tzuyu says, and I nod. ‘So you’re gonna have a round three?’ Lisa asks, and I shrug. ‘I’m actually not sure. I don’t know whether I came so that I could leave with him, or so that I could piss him off by getting with someone else,’ I say, both of their eyes lighting up. ‘Get with someone else,’ they chorus, and I let out a gentle laugh.

Before I can reply, Jackson reappears with two cups in hand. ‘It’s Fireball Whisky with cream soda,’ he says, and I blink in surprise, not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted at Jeongyeon’s weird concoction. He takes the empty cup from my hand and hands me a new one, and I thank him as I take a sip. It really is good, and I know I need to be careful not to drink too much – I’ll forget just how strong whisky is and then find myself hunched over the toilet in a few hours, vomiting it all back up. ‘Are you guys gonna just sit here and chat all night? This is a party! We’re supposed to be having a good time,’ Jackson says, and I exchange a glance with the girls. ‘We are having a good time,’ Tzuyu replies mildly, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘So you’re not gonna come dance?’ he asks, and we all shake our heads. As much as I do love getting lit, it’s nice to just have a gossip with the girls sometimes. ‘Maybe later,’ I say, and he frowns, shaking his head. ‘You guys are boring.’ ‘Go find Joy, she’ll dance with you,’ Tzuyu suggests, and Lisa nods before adding, ‘and Dahyun. Come find us in a couple hours, and then we’ll dance with you too.’

Jackson quickly disappears, calling out for Joy and Dahyun, and the spot where he was stood is quickly occupied by a boy who I recognise as Chan, one of the boys on the team and a KPN brother. ‘Hi, Chan,’ Tzuyu says, the boy giving us a smile. ‘Hi, guys. You’re all cheerleaders, right?’ he asks, and we nod, confused as to where he’s going with this. ‘Do you wear these, like… little black shorts under your cheer outfits? Like super small, tight, black shorts?’ he asks, and I realise, dread flooding through me as we all nod. ‘They’re called safety shorts,’ Lisa says, and Chan nods. ‘I thought so. We saw a pair earlier, in the changing rooms, with one of the bows you guys wear, and some… underwear. Ripped. So I was just… curious, I guess,’ he says, Tzuyu and Lisa both turning their gazes to me. ‘Um… Chan, I’d be really grateful if you didn’t mention that to anyone,’ I say embarrassedly, the girls stifling laughs as Chan’s face falls with shock. ‘Oh! They were yours?’ he asks, and I nod, totally humiliated. ‘Who was, um, with you when you came in? There was just a couple of you, right?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘There were a few of us, actually. But it’s fine, I’ll tell them not to mention it to anyone. Your secret’s safe with us, y/n,’ he says with a grin, and I give him a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Chan.’ ‘No problem. Before I never mention it again, I just have one question,’ he says tentatively, and I close my eyes briefly, nodding as I brace myself. ‘Were you… in there when we went in?’ he asks, and I take a deep breath before nodding, his eyes widening. ‘In the shower cubicles, right?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘I thought I heard a banging noise,’ he says, and the girls burst out laughing. ‘No, no, it’s because I hit my head on the wall,’ I explain over their laughter, even more embarrassed now. ‘Sorry,’ Chan says, and I wave it off. ‘It’s fine, it’s my own fault for fucking in a public place,’ I say bluntly, and he lets out a gentle laugh.

The girls are still laughing when Chan leaves with the promise of never mentioning it again, and I shoot them dirty looks. ‘Are you gonna stop laughing any time soon or should I just go?’ I ask venomously, and their laughter gets even louder, making me roll my eyes. ‘Fine. I’m going,’ I say, pushing myself off my seat and leaving with my phone and drink in my hands, their laughter continuing behind me. I decide to venture into the living room, but regret my decision the second I walk in and lock eyes with Hyunjin – Chan’s whispering something to him, and he bites down on his lip when he sees me, obviously holding back a laugh at the irony of seeing me as Chan fills him in. I turn on my heel, instantly heading back into the kitchen and ignoring Hyunjin’s loud laughter behind me. But when my eyes meet Lisa’s and she bursts out laughing again, Tzuyu laughing too, I make a decision – I want to go home. I know none of them mean anything by it but it’s really… getting to me. I don’t like that nearly every conversation I’ve had in the last week has come back to Jimin – in fact, I hate it. I’m more than my sexual escapades, whether or not they’re with my worst enemy. I came here to have a good time with my friends tonight – not to speak about my sex life.

‘Mark,’ I say, catching the boy beside me offguard. ‘Oh, hey, y/n. You okay?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I’m great. You?’ ‘I’m good, thanks. What’s up? You look… stressed.’ ‘I’m okay, I just… have you seen Jennie?’ I ask, and he nods, taking me by surprise. ‘I saw her go out the back door a couple minutes ago, with Seulgi and Nayeon,’ he says, and I grin at him. ‘Thank you, Mark, you’re the best!’ I exclaim, not giving him a second to reply before I quickly head towards the back door, ducking through the doorway before anyone else can speak to me. There’s a group of boys stood near the door, passing around a joint, and I quickly head past them, eyes skimming over the surroundings to see if the girls are here. I spot their three dark heads close together, looking at something on Seulgi’s phone, and I rush over. Nayeon spots me first, concern on her face as she watches me head towards them. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ she asks, the other two girls looking up at hearing my name. ‘I… I’m gonna leave,’ I say, all three of them looking at me in surprise – you usually have to drag me away from a party. ‘Why? You look hot, girl! You can’t waste this look!’ Seulgi exclaims, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and I give her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks, Seulgi, but I just… I’m fed up of being teased about Jimin. Maybe it’s God punishing me for sleeping with him, but for fuck’s sake, isn’t him being an idiot punishment enough? I don’t need everyone bringing it up every two fucking seconds,’ I complain, the three of them exchanging amused glances.

‘Oh, babe, it sucks, but you’ve gotta be thick skinned. You have to remember that you have publicly hated him for as long as we’ve all known you, pretty much. The fact that you’ve slept with him is, like, a big deal. It’s hot gossip. Of course people are gonna want to talk about it, and you are gonna get teased. You can’t let it get to you, or people will do it even more,’ Jennie says rationally, and I know she’s right, but I still don’t want to accept it, pouting. ‘I know, you’re right, but I’m already in a bad mood now, and I just wanna go home,’ I say, and I know I’m being immature, but I don’t care. I notice Nayeon’s eyes wander from me to over my shoulder and then she says, ‘well, someone’s coming over, and I don’t whether he’s going to make your mood better or worse.’ I sigh, wanting to cry, and I can feel Seulgi holding back a laugh. ‘Shall I tell him to fuck off?’ Jennie asks, and I shake my head – I don’t have the energy to fight with him today.

‘y/n,’ I hear his stupid voice say, before he appears beside me. He’s dressed in all black, tight ripped jeans and a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone and revealing tanned and freckled skin, with a leather jacket over the top of it. He’s wearing silver jewellery again, rings, earrings, bracelets and a necklace, and he looks really fucking handsome, like always. He looks me up and down, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at my appearance as he sweeps his black hair back with one hand, before he looks at my face, the shock being replaced with concern. ‘You okay?’ he asks, and him caring about me makes me want to run a mile – he’s supposed to hate me, not worry when I’m upset and annoyed. ‘I… don’t know,’ I say tiredly, not quite sure what to say, and he looks even more concerned at that. ‘Shall we… give you guys a minute?’ Jennie says, and I look at her in surprise. She just looks back at me with a sad smile, and then I realise; she’s knows that there’s more to this, to me and… Jimin, than just two people who fucked even though they hate each other. And so do I, the thought terrifying me. His feelings are involved, and maybe mine are too, and I already know this is gonna get messy, messier than it should. But I don’t really have it in me to put a stop to it right now. I think I must have hurt him a lot when I left him last week (the thought of him waking up to an empty bed when he thought I would be there beside him makes me feel sick to my stomach) and I don’t ever want to hurt someone like that again. Even if it that someone is Jimin, the most annoying, stupid, selfish, egotistic, infuriating, big-headed person to ever walk the Earth.

I stay silent, and Jimin takes that as a sign to nod at the girls, all of them giving me little hugs before they head back up towards the house. The few people that are outside are watching interestedly and I want to just tell them to all fuck off. I used to think I’d love being the centre of attention all the time, but I’ve definitely changed my mind. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ he asks gently, and I sigh, not meeting his eyes as I think, not sure what to tell him. He stays quiet as he waits for me to speak, which leaves us in a heavy silence. ‘I… I’m just fed up. All anyone’s been speaking to me about is you and I don’t like it because there’s more to talk about to me than my sex life, and I hate that people are always staring at me now and probably thinking all these things about me when they barely know me and everyone’s making me regret sleeping with you but I don’t want to regret it because it was good and I enjoyed it and it was with you, but I don’t know why that’s making me not regret it but I kind of do know because I don’t think that I see you the same as I used to anymore, which is something else I hate because I’m supposed to hate you, and I do but I also don’t think I do, and I’m so confused, and I just want to go home,’ I say miserably all in one breath, and he looks a little taken aback, but nods when I’m finished speaking. ‘I… I’ve been thinking a lot of the same things the last week, and I’m confused too. So if it’s any consolation, I know how you feel,’ he says, and somehow… it is consolation. I already knew his feelings towards me had changed, but hearing that he feels all the other stuff too, it does make me feel better. But I’m a stubborn bitch.

‘No, actually, I’m not sure you do know how I feel. Because I didn’t make it harder for you. I didn’t show up somewhere solely to piss you off, and laugh with my friends to make you feel self-conscious, and be all smug and amused and rude to you, and pull your underwear out of my pocket in front of everyone to embarrass you. So no, Jimin, you don’t know how I feel,’ I reply angrily, unable to help myself, but it’s true – he made this all a hundred times worse at try-outs earlier, and I am angry at him for it. I wait for him to get angry in return, to point out that I probably didn’t make it any better for him by being a bitch, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he just nods, his head dropping sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to, I promise – I never intended to piss you off or to make you feel self-conscious or to embarrass you. I tend to… not think before I do things, and I guess my pride was hurt that you left so I wanted to just save face. And I shouldn’t have… left you earlier. I was just being petty and wanted to get back at you. I’m really sorry,’ he says earnestly, and I’m shocked into silence for a few moments, before I nod.

‘Okay. I accept your apology,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I’m glad. Now… shall I take you home?’ he asks, and I blink in surprise. ‘What?’ ‘You said you wanted to go home so do you want me to take you?’ he offers, and I hesitate for a moment. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because I’m supposed to hate you, and you’re supposed to hate me,’ I whisper, and he raises an eyebrow, taking a step closer to me. ‘Like I said earlier… would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he replies quietly, and I’m silent. ‘I don’t… I don’t know. It’s kinda… scary to think about. And it’s just easier to hate you. And…’ I trail off, and an amused smile appears on his stupid face. ‘You’re too stubborn to not hate me when you’ve hated me for so long, right?’ he says, seeing right through me, and I nod sheepishly. ‘We really need to work on your stubbornness, because I can see a future for us, y/n. If you could just give in to your feelings for me, we could pursue something together,’ he grins, but there’s no humour, no amusement in his voice at all, his honesty nearly winding me. He throws an arm around my shoulders and slowly walks us back up to the house. ‘A future? For you and me?’ I echo, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Yeah! We’ll get married as soon as we finish Uni, have a load of kids, and they can become footballers and cheerleaders to follow in our footsteps,’ he says, and I choke, making him let out a loud laugh. ‘Okay, maybe not as soon as we finish Uni. I’ll make that sacrifice.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘Of course, angel. Anything for you.’

The second we step into the house, all eyes in the kitchen look up at us. ‘Can we help you?’ Jimin asks evenly, daring them to say something, and they’re all silent. ‘Thought so,’ he mutters, leading us over to where the drinks are as conversation resumes around us, albeit much quieter now. Jimin eyes the dozens of bottles covering the countertop before his eyes flit to the cup in my hand. ‘What you drinking, babe?’ he asks quietly, and I hold my drink up for him to try. ‘You trying to roofie me?’ he grins, and I let out a little laugh. ‘It’s Fireball whisky and cream soda. Jeongyeon’s concoction,’ I say, and he grimaces before trying some, his face instantly changing. ‘Oh, wow, that’s good,’ he says, reaching for the whisky bottle to pour himself some. ‘Did you just arrive?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I literally got here, walked into the kitchen, saw you weren’t in here, asked Mark where you were, and he said you were outside. I was coming to apologise,’ he says, and my heart warms. ‘To be honest… I should apologise too,’ I say, and his mouth drops open. ‘I can’t believe my ears. Is stubborn y/n finally discarding her pride?’ ‘Shut up, stupid,’ I laugh, shoving him gently, and he grins. ‘You don’t have to apologise, angel. You were scared that we didn’t hate each other, so you left, and then you were a bitch to me so that I’d hate you. That’s it. Don’t worry about it,’ he says, and I nod, grateful that I don’t have to apologise.

‘Okay,’ he says once he’s poured his drink, ‘shall we get away from all the staring?’ I raise an eyebrow, and he laughs. ‘I didn’t mean that, but if you’re down. I still owe you from earlier,’ he says lowly with a smirk, and my breath catches in my throat. ‘Um… maybe later. Let’s… see what’s going on in the rest of the house,’ I say, and he nods, grinning at my flustered state. And then he takes my hand into his, our fingers laced together, and a little shock runs up my arm at the contact. I nearly slap myself – he was rearranging my guts earlier, but I’m getting butterflies at him holding my hand? Really?

He leads me into the living room, several pairs of eyes turning to us, but he completely ignores them, so I do too. ‘You wanna stay in here?’ he asks over the loud music, and I shake my head. He nods, continuing to lead us through the room into the front hallway. The layout is the same as the ASP house, so Jimin knows his way around, leading me through the hallway and pushing open the door to the other living room, where it’s considerably more chill. The haze of weed lays heavy on the air, music gently pulsing through the room, and there are a lot less people in here, majority the boys on the football team with their girlfriends. ‘Oh, y/n, Chan spoke to me, I…’ Felix calls to me before his eyes land on Jimin behind me, his words trailing off when he spots our intertwined hands. ‘Yeah, it’s… yeah,’ I say, a little embarrassed, and Felix just nods, holding back a laugh when Jimin looks between us. ‘What did Chan speak to you about, Lix?’ Jimin asks, and I cringe. ‘They’re the ones that walked into the changing rooms earlier,’ I say under my breath, and he lets out a little noise of realisation with a nod, a smirk playing at his lips as he looks at Felix, the boy looking endlessly amused. ‘Oh, are you guys talking about how we walked in on you in the changing room?’ Jisung calls out tactlessly, and I close my eyes, gathering myself, as laughter ripples around the room. ‘You know what? Let’s just leave,’ I say tiredly, more laughter following my words, and Jimin nods, bidding goodbye to his friends with a smug grin as he leads me out of the room.

‘Shall we sit outside?’ he suggests, and I nod, letting him pull me through the front door. I shut the door behind us, and when I turn back, Jimin’s sat on the front step, looking out onto the front garden. It’s surprisingly empty, and it’s quiet out here, the only noise coming faintly from inside. I sit down beside him, pulling my dress down, and Jimin notices, a greasy smirk appearing on his face. ‘I swear to God, Park, I will not hesitate to throw this drink at you,’ I say, and he laughs, eyes disappearing behind their lids. ‘I was just gonna say that you look really nice. That dress really suits you,’ he grins, and I eye him suspiciously, holding back a laugh. He holds his hands up, feigning innocence, and I let out a gentle laugh, taking a sip of my drink. ‘Did you wear it for me?’ he asks, and I nod without looking at him. ‘Good choice. I like it,’ he replies, reaching for my hand, and I can’t help the small smile on my face as he laces his fingers with mine, our hands resting in my lap.

We both fall into a comfortable silence, and it’s really nice. It’s like all the other stuff falls away and doesn’t matter anymore, and we’re just a girl and a boy sat on the front steps of a frat house, taking a moment away from the party under the night sky, holding hands and drinking whisky and soda. We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I think that this is what true peace is like; when things are quiet and simple and easy, and nothing’s bothering me, nothing’s complicated or confusing, nothing matters. It’s almost too good to be true.

The door behind us opens after a few minutes, both of us turning to see Jeongin and Changbin, two more boys on the team, and Jimin grins widely when he sees them. I turn to face the front garden again, my back to the boys with my hand still in Jimin’s, both resting in my lap. ‘Boys! How are you? Ready for first practice next week?’ Jimin asks them, and I roll my eyes amusedly – football is their livelihood, and Jimin’s in his element talking about football, even more now that he’s been promoted to Captain. ‘Looking forward to it, Captain!’ Jeongin exclaims, hyping Jimin up even more. ‘Before we get distracted with football, we thought we’d let you know that, um, Rosie’s been looking for you. She asked us where you were and we said we didn’t know so we could buy you some time, but she’ll probably find you soon,’ Changbin says, and I freeze at the mention of his ex, Jimin wincing. ‘Um, okay, thanks, guys. I’ll, uh, speak to you later,’ he says, dismissing them, and they quickly disappear with a ‘bye’ thrown over their shoulders before the door shuts.

‘Why is Rosie looking for you?’ I ask amusedly, knowing exactly why she’s looking for him. She and Jimin have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a long time, but he ended it for good at the end of last year, and stayed true to his word. According to the rumours, they don’t even talk anymore, just walk past each other without a word, and they haven’t slept with each other again. But she’s obviously got wind about me, and is jealous. ‘Um, yeah, about that. There’s probably something I should tell you,’ he says hesitantly, and I feel my body go a little cold as I turn my eyes to him – maybe there is a different reason she’s looking for him. ‘I… may have… slept with her… on Tuesday,’ he says, and the words don’t really register with me for a moment. ‘y/n?’ he says, eyes full of worry and I blink, realisation washing over me.

He slept with her. Four days ago.

I remove his hand from mine, and he flinches when I do so, retracting his hand slowly. ‘What… were you thinking?’ I ask, and he just blinks for a moment. ‘I was thinking that you hated me because you left and I was hurt so I found comfort in someone else,’ he says, tone neutral, but I can hear the defensiveness coming through. And, okay, maybe that is a good enough reason. But I’m still angry. Do I even have a right to be angry? ‘But your ex? Jimin, I-’ ‘Yes, y/n, my ex. I don’t really think you have a right to be angry. You left me. You knew my feelings for you were different to what you first thought, and you left anyway!’ he exclaims, voice rising, and I roll my eyes, letting out a humourless laugh. ‘I wasn’t obligated to stay just because you liked me!’ ‘But you liked me too!’ ‘I’m not sure I did, Jimin, and I’m still not sure about it! Besides, you literally said like fifteen minutes ago that you understood why I left and that I didn’t need to apologise for it!’ I point out, and he scoffs. ‘I do understand, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less, y/n. I was hurting and she was at the ASP house picking up her hair clip that she lost at the party and one thing led to ano-’ ‘So she just happened to be at the house, picking up a hair clip, three days after what happened between you and me? You don’t think she planned that?’ I say incredulously, unable to believe how dense he is. ‘So what if she did? To me, it was meaningless sex, to get my mind off you. I don’t think you have a right to be angry.’ ‘I don’t think I do either, but I still am!’ I exclaim, and he rolls his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. ‘You’re not angry, you’re jealous.’ ‘I’m not jealous, Jimin, don’t be ridiculous,’ I scoff, even more pissed off now. ‘You are.’ ‘If I said, ‘let’s go upstairs and fuck’ right now, you would be down, so what have I got to be jealous about?’ I ask lowly, and his eyes darken. ‘Fine. You’re not jealous. You’re angry I slept with someone else because you like me. Don’t even bother saying you’re still not sure because that’s the only reason for you to be angry. And in that case, I understand. And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,’ he says calmly, and I don’t say anything, looking away from him.

After a few moments, he reaches for my hand tentatively, gauging my reaction before lacing our fingers together again. ‘You don’t have to apologise. I’m just being silly,’ I say, and he chuckles, moving closer to me. ‘I’ll apologise as many times as you need me to. I really do like you, y/n, and I kinda have for a while. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is happening between us. And I know you’re still reluctant and you still want to hate me or whatever, but I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready. I’m happy to take time to win you over,’ he says softly, and my heart warms a little. The contrast between this Jimin and the Jimin from last week really is insane. There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track. ‘Sorry,’ I say, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘You don’t have to apologise for getting angry that I slept with my ex, even if we didn’t make any commitments to each other. I understand,’ he says simply, and I can’t help the smile on my face as I shuffle even closer to him, our sides pressed together and my head resting on his shoulder.

And again, it’s nice. But it really is too good to be true. The door behind us is wrenched open before we hear, ‘Jimin?’ I sigh, Jimin turning to look at Rosie. ‘Rosie,’ he replies, voice neutral, and I turn around, our eyes meeting. ‘Hi, Rosie,’ I smile at the girl. I’ve never actually had a problem with Rosie – we run in the same social circles, she’s a Cheerleader, and we’ve never been close but from what I know of her, she’s okay. ‘Hi, y/n. Do you mind if I speak to Jimin for a moment?’ she says sweetly. ‘Of course,’ I reply with a smile, not moving a muscle, and Jimin sighs. ‘y/n, please,’ he says, and I turn to him, annoyance unfurling in my chest. ‘Okay,’ I say coldly, dropping his hand from mine and rising up, brushing past Rosie into the house.

What is wrong with him? Has he got no common sense? The logical thing to have done is obviously to not speak to her – what could she possibly have to say? All she’s going to do is try to get him back. And he’s really stupid enough to ask me to leave? Am I a dickhead? I let out an angry sigh, deciding that I’ve had enough. He’s been spouting all this shit about how he doesn’t want to fuck this up, and then literally like two fucking minutes later, he’s having a private conversation with his ex. This is like ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ but in real life. He’s Peter, Rosie’s Gen and I’m Lara Jean. Somehow though, I feel like I won’t have the same happy ending.

‘y/n!’ I hear Jennie call from the other living room, where she’s sat with Jihyo and Irene, and I sigh, heading in. ‘What’s happened?’ she asks, and I roll my eyes, the attention of everyone in the room on me. ‘He apologised and we made up but then he asked me to leave so he could have a private conversation with his ex,’ I say, and they all gasp, confirming that I’m not a crazy bitch and that he shouldn’t be having private conversations with his ex. ‘Oh, girl, you better not forgive his stupid ass,’ Jihyo says, the other girls in the room nodding and giving various agreements, and the boys are all quiet – they obviously feel a sense of loyalty to Jimin and don’t want to talk bad about him. ‘I feel so pissed, but I also feel like I don’t have a right to be pissed,’ I say, and the girls all frown, disagreeing instantly. ‘You do have a right to be pissed. You should go throw your drink over his stupid head,’ Jennie says angrily, and I hold back a laugh.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ I sigh helplessly, perching on the arm of Seungmin’s armchair. ‘It’s a red flag, y/n. End things here – don’t let it go too far otherwise you’ll get too attached, your feelings will get deeper and stronger, and it’s just not worth it. Him and Rosie are always messing around and it’ll probably be like that for a long time – she’s a nice girl but she’s got Jimin wrapped around her finger and she knows it. If he tries to move on, she’ll stop it. It’s not worth you getting involved in that, because you shouldn’t have to compete with his ex,’ Irene says softly, everybody listening to her, and I know she’s exactly right; I might… maybe… kinda… sorta… like(?) Jimin now, but he’s not worth competing with another girl for. If there’s even a choice for him, I should walk away. I deserve someone who wants me and only me. ‘God, you’re right,’ I wail, throwing myself back against the armchair and lifting my hand to my face despairingly, a little laugh running around the room at my dramatics as Seungmin pats my arm comfortingly. ‘I know he’s our friend, y/n, but he’s also kinda a dick when it comes to girls, and we all know it. I mean, he was literally bragging to us yesterday about what happened between you guys,’ Minho says, and I feel my focus shifting entirely to his words when he says that, my entire body tensing. ‘What did he say?’ I ask calmly, though I can feel my anger slowly rising, along with the tension in the room. ‘Well… um,’ Minho begins hesitantly, before sighing, ‘we all went to ASP last night for KPN and ASP Pizza Friday, and we were speaking about going to watch you guys at the try-outs. JB mentioned that, as the new captain, you might get pissed if we showed up, and then the conversation turned to you and Jimin last week.’

I’m in total shock; he blatantly lied to me earlier, by telling me that he’d only told his closest friends. The thought that all those boys were sat together last night, talking about me, makes my stomach turn. ‘What did he tell you guys?’ I ask shakily, despite not actually wanting to know. ‘Um… everything,’ Minho says, and my heart drops. ‘Everything?’ ‘Yeah. Everything,’ Chan confirms, voice gentle, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. ‘Wow. Okay. So not only is he a dick, he blatantly lied,’ I say flatly, the room completely silent other than the low RnB beat pulsing from the speaker. ‘I’m gonna go. Sorry for, uh, killing the vibe,’ I say quietly, pushing myself up from the arm of Seungmin’s armchair and heading towards the door, multiple people in the room calling after me.

I quickly dart up the stairs, dodging past the couple making out on the landing and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Part of me is numb, in complete shock, and doesn’t know how to react. Another part of me is unbelievably hurt that he completely lied to my face, and that he asked me to leave so he could talk to his ex. Privately. Another part of me is totally humiliated that he told the boys everything, my pride completely ruined now. And the other part of me is annoyed at myself for being so hurt about a boy who, this time last week, I hated and would’ve rather fought than fucked.

‘y/n, it’s me,’ I hear Jennie’s voice from the other side of the door, and I unlock it to let her in. She pulls me into a hug, and I have to scrunch my eyes shut to stop myself from crying, pushing my head into her neck as she rubs my back comfortingly. ‘He’s so trash, babe. So trash. You deserve so much better,’ she says soothingly, and I try my best to fully believe her words, but it’s hard when I’m also trying to hold back my tears.

Before I can even speak to her, Jiwon’s head appears around the door, her eyes widening when she sees how upset I am. ‘y/n! Sorry for just walking in but are you okay?’ she asks, eyes big with concern, and my heart warms. ‘Ugh, yeah,’ I say, Jennie and I moving apart, and I tilt my head back, blinking furiously to get rid of my tears. ‘It’s just Jimin. He’s such a dick. I’m done with him,’ I say, the words coming out of my mouth before I even think of them, and I realise that, yes, I am done with him. I’m not wasting my time on him anymore.

‘Good. You deserve better. I mean, I knew he was a dick when he literally grabbed me on the way up to his room last week and dragged me along behind him. He made me think he was attracted to me, but he obviously just wanted to make you jealous,’ Jiwon says, and it makes me hate him even more. I didn’t even think about how hurt she must have been when she realised he was just using her. ‘God, he really is a dick,’ I spit, face twisted up in disgust, and Jiwon lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t see that sooner.’ ‘I knew all along. There was a reason I hated him so much – he’s always been a self-absorbed, egotistic, arrogant douche, but now… he’s even worse in my eyes.’

‘Shall we head back downstairs, get you a drink, dance? Or… shall we head home? We could have a little girls’ night – we’ve got a couple bottles of Echo Falls in the fridge, Clueless and Mean Girls on Netflix, and I have a few face masks. We could invite some of the other girls, too. And you could join us, Jiwon. We could get drunk, order pizza and talk about how much of a bastard Jimin is,’ Jennie says, the three of us laughing. She’s really sold the idea – it sounds like a lot of fun – but it’s late already. It’s better if I just head home and go to sleep. I actually feel exhausted after the events of today; it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m literally craving my bed right now. ‘That sounds fun, Jen, but maybe we could do that another night. I could do with just sleeping tonight,’ I say, and she nods, smiling gently.

‘Shall I order an Uber?’ ‘You stay,’ I say, and she frowns. ‘Why would I stay? You’re upset – I’ll come back with you.’ ‘No, honestly, I’ll be fine. You stay, enjoy the party. You haven’t even spent any time with Namjoon,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t care about spending time with Namjoon right now. You’re my priority. I’m coming home with you,’ she says firmly, pulling her phone out of her pocket, and I exchange an exasperated glance with Jiwon, the other girl incredibly amused.

As soon as Jennie’s ordered the Uber, we head downstairs to bid everyone goodbye. The second I step into the kitchen, Jin and Jungkook appear in front of me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. ‘Don’t say a word, because I swear to God, I won’t hesitate to kick you both in the balls,’ I threaten angrily, and their grins soon disappear. ‘Have you been crying, y/n? What’s the ma-?’ ‘Don’t say a word!’ I exclaim, pushing past them to say goodbye to Wendy, Lisa, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the three of them giving me tight and comforting hugs – it seems that word’s already gotten around to the girls about Jimin and I. Then, in the living room, Nayeon, Seulgi, Mina, Jeongyeon, Jisoo, Momo, Joy and Sana all stop dancing the second I walk in, smothering me in hugs, and I know for sure that word has gotten around. And then, in the other living room, Jihyo, Irene, Yeri and Dahyun all give me big hugs too, and it really does make me feel better. Girls say it a lot, but it’s true – as long as you have your girls around you, you really don’t need a man. Any KNP or ASP boys that I walk past get the cold shoulder – they were all present when Jimin told them the dirty details and, despite some of them being my friends, close friends, not one of them thought to tell me. The only person that gets a goodbye from me is Minho; the rest of them can fuck themselves.

When I reach the front door, my hand shakes for a moment and I hesitate, Jennie putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath, rolling back my shoulders and raising my chin a little, injecting as much confidence into my body language as possible before I aggressively turn the handle, pulling the door towards me forcefully. They’re still sat on the front doorstep, Rosie where I was sat just half an hour ago, and they both jump when they hear the door open. And even though they react instantly, I still spot Jimin’s hand retracting from Rosie’s, leaving hers empty.

My eyes flit back up, in front of me, and I carefully walk through the gap between them, ignoring them both completely. ‘y/n? Are you leaving?’ I hear Jimin ask, but Jennie puts a hand on my back, the both of us continuing to walk up towards the road and away from him. ‘y/n! Wait!’ he calls after me, and then I hear his footsteps behind us, making my blood boil – can he not take the hint? ‘What, Jimin?’ I demand, whirling around to face him, and he hesitates in his steps. ‘y/n-’ ‘No, Jimin, don’t ‘y/n’ me. What the fuck do you want?’ ‘I�� you’re angry at me,’ he says quietly, and I let out a harsh laugh. ‘Great observation, Jimin! What else will you come out with? The grass is green? Or the sky is blue, perhaps?’ ‘Okay, you don’t need to be so bitchy to m-’ ‘Bitchy?’ I practically scream, marching towards him, and he recoils away from me. Good. I’m glad he’s scared.

‘I think I’m well within my rights to be bitchy to you, you fucking bastard!’ I shriek, and he flinches, confusion all over his face. ‘What did I do, y/n? I… let me fix it,’ he says, and I let out another humourless laugh. ‘Fix it? You want to fix it?’ I ask hysterically, voice shaking, ‘You might’ve been able to fix the fact that you asked me to leave so you could have a private conversation with your ex, but that’s a very strong ‘might’, because I am not a choice, Jimin! You don’t get to mess me around! I’m number one, or I’m nothing to you at all!’ ‘Okay. Okay, I understand, and I’m sorry. I won’t do something like that again,’ he says earnestly, desperation in his eyes, but I can’t muster up any sympathy at all. Maybe I am a bitch, like he told me so many times last week.

‘No, you’re not going to do something like that again. Because you’re not going to have the chance, Jimin. We are done. That’s it,’ I say, and any hope that was in his eyes completely disappears, the light draining away. ‘What? Why? I thought you wanted… to give us a go,’ he says quietly, sounding… lost, and confused. It only makes me angrier – he’s not gonna get away with playing innocent today. ‘I did. Before I found out that you went and blabbed every single detail of last week to every fucking frat boy in ASP and KPN last night! Did you somehow forget about that, or did you purposely leave out that detail when I asked you earlier?’ I scream, body shaking with fury, and the second he registers my words, the colour disappears from his face, and he looks like he might throw up. He doesn’t say anything, and I give him the chance, but he doesn’t even bother to deny it, just stares at me in shock and the last shred of my hope that maybe Minho lied, that he exaggerated, or that maybe Jimin only told a couple of the guys disappears. ‘Yeah. That’s what I thought too. So forgive me for being such a bitch,’ I spit at him, and he opens his mouth to speak, no words coming out.

‘Go on. Say something. You’ve had plenty to say all night. So let’s hear it,’ I prompt sarcastically, and he just blinks before he whispers miserably; ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh, well, that’s okay! Everything’s solved now, huh? That just makes everything fine!’ I shout, and his head drops, eyes on the ground. ‘Not only did you tell everyone, you lied about it! So how can I pursue something with you when you’re already lying to me? I can’t trust a word you say!’ ‘I… I’m not defending myself… but you lied to me too, y/n. You told me that you told Jennie, and ‘a couple of the other girls’. But we both know that was a lie,’ he says slowly, stuttering as he speaks, and I’m dumbfounded, in complete and utter shock.

‘You… you don’t understand. I told the girls, my closest friends. We tell each other everything. I’ve been there for them through everything, and they’ve been there for me through everything. You told two entire fraternities of immature and idiotic man children! You don’t think there’s a difference between the two? I bet they congratulated you, right? On getting the girl that hates you into bed? Asked what I was like? What my body looks like? Whether I had good head game, or good pussy? Saw me as just a slut, another conquest, another notch in your belt? Two entire fraternities objectified me last night, and you can’t even try to tell me otherwise, because I can guarantee that every girl in this damn university has had an experience to prove that you frat boys are disgusting. So you can fuck yourself, Jimin, and don’t ever compare me telling the girls to you telling those idiots again,’ I spit out angrily, and he’s completely silent, confirming everything I’ve just said. ‘I’m done with you. Don’t ever speak to me again,’ I hiss before turning on my heel and marching to where Jen stands outside the Uber, smiling at me softly.

‘That was amazing. I’m so proud of you,’ she says when I reach her, and I smile back as she opens the car door, letting me climb in first. I slide across the seat, Jennie following me in, and when she shuts the door behind her, I feel my heart pulse with hurt, eyes filling with tears. And as the driver pulls away from the house and I turn to look out of the rear window, being met with the sight of Jimin stood there, watching the car drive away, his eyes shining with tears, I can’t hold back my own, sobbing as if my heart would break.

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