#THE CHECKOUT

[samcampbellfans]

Sam Campbell on ABC's The Checkout

Found sketches that Cambo did for The Checkout on ABC TV in 2018.

And here's some more

This one's from 2015:

P.S if anyone knows of any other Checkout sketches that Sam did please do message me :)

#sam campbell #cambo #australian comedian #mcdonalds comedy #cambo fans #samcampbell #australian comedy #Youtube #the checkout

[beaft]

can anyone tell me why i enter the grocery store a normal person and emerge as some sort of vile ravening monster

#was trying to leave the self-checkout and someone was standing in front of the exit gate looking at their phone and blocking the whole lane #the malignant influence of the grocery store transformed this from a minor inconvenience to a cardinal crime #i was ready to leap at them like a coyote and tear them to shreds #be shh now

[spongebobssquarepants]

#kevin james #memes #checkout camera #meme #king of queens #twitter #posts #kane52630

[lee-luca]

X-Men: Sharks

Fassbender's Magneto has been described as having a shark-like smile. I have decided that a Blahaj would complete the look.

#Magneto #X-Men #Blahaj #Erik Lehnsherr #Charles Xavier #Professor X #Cherik #i had a vision of him levitating the entire container of blahaj to the checkout counter and a child gaping at him #alas i did not have room for that #blahaj is not to scale btw #i own the small blahaj so i only have that for reference #i mean if magneto was my height then yeah it's to scale #but he's not so the blahaj i've drawn is too small to be the big blahaj and too big to be the small blahaj #my art #IKEA #BLÅHAJ #2023 #fanart #lineart #flat colour #digital #PaintTool SAI #SAI2 #XMFC

[espacewedding]

Former 'Bachelorette' Kaitlyn Bristowe Is Getting Ready For Her Wedding With Amazon's Handmade — Shop Her Collection

Former ‘Bachelorette’ Kaitlyn Bristowe Is Getting Ready For Her Wedding With Amazon’s Handmade — Shop Her Collection

All products featured on OK! Magazine are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, OK! Magazine may earn an affiliate commission. Former Bachelorette star Kaitlyn Bristowe — who is currently engaged to former season 14 contestant Jason Tartick — is about to have the wedding of her dreams. Even though the duo is familiar with the franchise,…

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#Amazons #Bachelorette #Bristowe #collection #Handmade #Kaitlyn #Ready #Shop #SHOPPING #THE CHECKOUT #wedding

[cardboard-queen]

telepathically asking girls at the grocery store if they’re queer and also if they think I’m queer and if they’d like to get coffee sometime

#sapphic #lesbian #wlw #gay #soph rambles #the reason lesbians can’t reproduce isn’t because it’s biologically tricky #it’s because they’re too shy to ever approach each other in public #this post goes out to the girl with the fun skirt I saw in the checkout line today #I chose the wrong line #star crossed lovers

[tartppola]

last doodles for now i had a dream where they went grocery shopping,,,,,,,,,,,

#now that i put actual aceppola in there should be ez to tell that its anipola....right....???? #twst #twisted wonderland #twst ace #ace trappola #anipola #dilah spade #whew ive been blowing up dilah's tag lately AGGAHAHAHAHA #also dilah definitely struggles w the self checkout machine....silley momma....

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

#Walmart #self checkout #corporate greed

[cuubism]

At first Hob isn't even sure the shop is open. The tiny door inset above a few steps, the utter lack of welcoming signage, the windows packed with unlabelled stacks of books--it doesn't exactly scream come in and buy something. As Hob steps up to the door, he really expects it to be locked, or for a sign to fall from the ceiling reading, abandon all hope here, mortal.

But the door to the bookshop--the name of which he's yet to determine, again with the utter lack of signage thing--just swings open at his touch, and he steps into a narrow hallway made entirely of--of course!--books.

Dust rises from the rug as he carefully makes his way deeper into the meandering corridors. The lightbulbs overhead are dim and in desperate need of replacement. The stacks are teetering and untouched. If he learned the place had been sitting here on this winding side street, exactly the same, for the past seven hundred years, he wouldn't be at all surprised.

And now Hob's marring its mysterious mausoleum aura by opening a jaunty modern coffee shop across the street.

Whoops.

Hence why he's bringing a peace offering before he accidentally starts a war over noise or crowds or god knows what else. Most places would probably be happy about increased foot traffic, but that's not the sense he's getting here.

This is all, of course, assuming he does find an owner, and not just a skeleton manning a till somewhere in this place long gone dark.

Hob doesn't find any customers. He does find several interesting-looking side hallways labelled things like, ~ the occult ~ , Oneiromancy, and "falconry -- advanced" and has to drag himself back into focus because the only thing worse than starting a turf war with a mysterious bookstore owner on his cafe's opening day is accidentally spilling the coffee he's brought--as a peace offering!--all over some ancient magical text.

"Hello?" he calls, finally giving up on the creeping about. "Anyone there?"

No answer. All Hob finds is a rickety set of stairs leading up the next level. So he ascends.

At the top is an even more cluttered room of books. This time in disorganized, unlabelled stacks on every surface. Waiting to be shelved, maybe? And in the center of it all, sitting cross-legged on the floor with several of these books spread out in a confusing array before him, is who Hob can only presume to be the owner.

An owner who is not dead, nor ancient and decrepit as Hob had kind of been picturing. Definitely not decrepit at all. Oohhhh dear.

The lithe, dark-haired, fey thing that is the owner tapes a note inside another book and says, in a distracted tone, "Can I help you?"

"Uh," says Hob, because he came here on a mission but he's gotten really turned around, "do you drink coffee?"

This gets him a raised eyebrow, but the shop owner does turn to look at him, staring up from his position on the floor. Christ he's pretty, spectacles and all. If there is a battle over street noise levels, Hob's going to lose by dint of caving automatically to those eyes. Pathetic.

The bookstore owner looks at the coffee in Hob's hand, then back at Hob's face. "Why?"

Hob thrusts the cup in his direction. "Here."

The owner looks alarmed now, but takes the cup, gingerly, peering at it as if he thinks Hob might have given him pureed nightshade instead. "Why?" he repeats, and then, because apparently his level of self-preservation doesn't extend to things like not drinking random shit thrust at him by strangers, takes a sip, and hums in appreciation.

"I-- fuck, sorry--" Hob sits down on the floor, which only makes him look more like a maniac to be honest-- "I just-- I just opened across the street? The cafe? So I just wanted to say hi and-- holy shit, is your name actually Dream? Were you a stripper in another life or something?"

This because he's finally spotted a tiny nametag pin on the bookstore owner's cardigan-- a cat curled around a book where the cover reads, I am Dream.

"Yes," says Dream, and Hob has no idea if that's in response to the first question, the second, or both. Both is terrifying to think about. As is the fact that Hob even asked that. "The cafe, you said?"

"Mmhmm," Hob agrees, cheeks burning. Oh, he's making a right mess of this, all right.

"Hmm," says Dream, peering at him over the coffee cup. This indicates nothing to Hob about how he feels about the cafe situation.

"I just worried that more noise and stuff might bother you," Hob rushes to explain. "You seem. To. You know. Like your quiet. Is all."

"It is my understanding that cafes and bookstores frequently have symbiotic relationships," says Dream evenly, though he's still watching Hob with unnerving intensity.

Well. That was easy. Maybe Hob was just worrying over nothing. Wanting to be liked when it wouldn't have been an issue.

"Alright," he says, letting out a breath. "Well. Good!"

"Good," echoes Dream, with a tiny, wry smile.

"What is this place anyway? I've seen no signage whatsoever."

"It's called The Library," Dream says.

Hob waits for him to explain. He doesn't. "Um, but... isn't it a shop?"

Dream raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "And?"

"So..." Hob says, "it's not a library."

"Purchasing something is but extended borrowing from the universe," says Dream, like that makes any sense at all.

But Hob decides there's other things he'd rather do with a pretty goth bookstore/library/whatever owner than argue semantics. "What do you carry, then?"

Now Dream preens like a cat. "The Library contains every book in print."

Now it's Hob's turn to raise an eyebrow. "That seems... unlikely? Impossible?"

Dream's self-satisfied little smile doesn't fade. "You are welcome to browse the stacks and let me know if there is anything you cannot find."

And, well, it's true that Hob didn't really get a sense of just how far back this place goes. It looks small from the street, but he's already wandered pretty far in just to find Dream, and has yet to reach a back wall.

"I will definitely have to come back," he agrees. And get lost. Definitely get lost. He's not even sure he can find his way out. He'll probably get swallowed up in Oneiromancy.

"In return I will be sure to visit your cafe," says Dream. He says it so strangely, like crossing into a foreign land. I will be sure to visit your court. "Are you open late?"

"On Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, yup," says Hob.

"Excellent." Dream inclines his head imperiously to Hob. "Thank you. For the coffee."

Hob figures he should let him get back to his labeling. He has plenty of his own work, too.

"Yeah, sure, any time. Good to meet you, Dream."

And then he scurries away before he can make it any weirder, makes his meandering way out of "The Library," and doesn't get lost in Oneiromancy.

This time.

--

The following night, Hob looks up from the till to find Dream standing across the counter from him. He looks much the same as before, with the addition of a long dark coat over his clothes, and no reading glasses this time. He offers Hob a tiny smile. "Hob Gadling."

Gosh, he looks, if possible, even prettier in the warm lighting of the cafe than in the darkness of his shop. Though to be honest, Hob had half-convinced himself he'd hallucinated Dream's existence. He hasn't seen anyone go in or out of the shop since.

"Dream," he greets, with a smile. "Anything I can get for you?"

"It is I who have something for you." He hands Hob what must be a book, though it's wrapped in brown paper. "Consider it a return gift. Or perhaps. A welcome."

And before Hob can even ask if he wants coffee or something, if he wants to sit down, he slips back out through the crowd and onto the street like a vapor, and then he's gone.

Hob tears open the paper. And then stares at the book in astonishment.

It's the book. Everyone has one. The book once read but since forgotten in the shuffle of time; title, author, too vague in recollection to pin down. Unsearchable. Never found, for all that the heart of the story might have lodged its way in somewhere deep.

It's one of those books that he remembers in blistering detail now that it's in his hands, that he read in uni but couldn't have found for the life of him on his own, and Dream's just handed it to him over the counter of his cafe.

He runs his fingertip over the midnight blue cover, the embossed lettering. In Search of Nightingales. And it's only as he looks up again at the hidden shop across the street, that he realizes he never told Dream his name, either.

#dream: its a library whose checkout term is the rest of your life :) ill get the books back eventually :) hope that clears it up for you hob #hob:....... #random drabble time i guess lol #dreamling #my writing #dream of the endless #hob gadling #bookstore cryptid dream

[daily-basil]

Happy 420 everyone

#have transgender stoner basil at a self checkout to celebrate #tw drugs #cw drugs #ask to tag if needed ! #mod snuuy #omori #daily basil #art #drawing #omori basil #digital #basil #basil omori

[hometoursandotherstuff]

#self checkout memes #other stuff

[willowser]

much as bakugou hates having his privacy invaded, he doesn't bother to hide his face when buying you flowers.

out in public, right there on the street. first, in front of the strangers passing by, and then not long after, his candid, frowning face is plastered across several cheap magazines all throughout the city. it pisses him off to no end to keep his mouth shut when he knows some bastard is snapping his picture from across the street — but he swallows it all down, for you.

doesn't pull his hat any lower as he drives through the streets, doesn't hesitate to take the stairs up to your apartment, doesn't care to cover up the look on his face — with his pitifully sad eyes and soft frown — when you open and shut the door before he can even say anything.

bakugou hates to have his privacy invaded, but he'll gladly let the world know where his heart lies, this time. yeah, he fucked up before, but he'll be front page every single day if that's what it takes for you to realize how much you mean to him.

if, eventually, the center spread will be of you, leaning against the door frame with a little smile and a bouquet in your hands. he wouldn't even mind, really, if they captured the exact moment you decide to give him a second chance, or the kiss you plant on his cheek after.

can't tell how red his face is from a distance, but his smile is crystal clear.

#waaahh just the image of him buying flowers and getting put on the corner of some magazine 🥺 #with some stupid headline like 'dynamight doesn’t give up !!' or something so cheesy akfhekqk #and then you're still deciding if you want to try again with him but you see him EVERYWHERE #every checkout line has a different magazine with his face on it #🥺🥺🥺 #and if he's gonna be SO DAMN LOUD about how much he wants this 🥺 then you supoose you can listen 🥺🥺🥺🥺 #he's so annoying i hate him alfbdiajkaqk #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou

[muffinlance]

Crochet Pattern: Rollable Isopuppy (Giant Isopod Dog)

Crochet an isopuppy! As cuddled in Salvage; story and pattern both by me. Whether you’ve read the story or not, treat yourself to a Very Good Dog. You deserve it. <3

>>> Get the pattern here! <<<

[id: Photos of a crocheted isopuppy (giant isopod dog) from various angles. It has the head and tail of a dog, with isopod legs, shell, and antennae. It is a very Good Boi. End id.]

Also that is now my site for patterns, both sewn and crocheted (Dragon Zuko is also up there), so. Subscribe if you're interested in that. If you're interested in my writing, that's at this site. Also I'm on Ravelry now.

>>> Isopuppy Pattern! <<<

#avatar the last airbender #atla #crochet #crocheting #crochetblr #zuko #yarn #yarn crafts #diy craft #the amazing isopuppy #Salvage #please let me know if the checkout process or pattern give you any troubles! #or even if you find any typos #I've used the standard style for amigurumi patterns based on the ones I've followed #but this is my first pattern #so #feedback welcome <3 #I can also get up a video of how to do the leg joints if those give people troubles #trust me after you do them fourteen times you'll be an eXpERt #amigurumi #ravelry #isopods #roly poly #isopod

[creekfiend]

man I don't know the fast car cover man but it seems bizarre to me that so many ppl are feeling the need to be like 'fuck this white boy and his shitty cover' like. all's I saw was the grammy performance but that's a guy who is real delighted to be singing a song he really loves with the artist who wrote it and I think that's awfully nice. I get not liking a cover or being like 'i prefer the original' but I think more fast car is always good to be honest with you. it's not a competition. how come people are weird like this. it feels very performative yk. I think it's nice when people sing each other's songs. who among us would not be honored to sing the fast car song? and sing it with ms chapman herself? delightful I am happy for him and I am happy for her and I am happy for me that I got to watch it

#i am singing yhe fast car song right now as we speak #i like how he bows to her when theyre done singing and i also lile how he got the checkout girl line.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

Would really mean a lot to me if I had Eddie Munson calling me his "good girl" and saying how proud he is of me for doing the most basic and mundane tasks.

#i need the praise #life is hard sometimes #just tell me i did a good job at the self checkout line #eddie munson #joseph quinn

[cinna-bunnie]

> all i want for christmas plays overhead but it's not mariah carey

> “please enter your phone number”

> a cacophony of beeps from everyone scanning their own items

> “please place your item. into the bag” *not bagging anything*

> only two volume options are full blast and less loud

> card reader beeping loudly as it fails to read 3 times before it lets you swipe it

> all of this happening constantly on all of the machines too so their noises overlap with each other

SHUT!!! UP!!!!!!

#grocery store is sensory hell #s2g i just zone out as hard as i can at self checkout bc it drives me crazy to be Present