#TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes…. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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i saw this tweet https://twitter.com/_omigashh/status/1365170181148798976?s=21 and i was like ???? what do you think about this?

Lol we’ve discussed it before, it’s the same one thing each time. I wish they would find something else, cause I feel like we’re walking in circles in this blog already and I’m having trouble finding previous asks xD. Haha I love the first personal interpretation with the “what she really meant”, that’s how the wrong info spreads.

And no, that’s not what she meant. She said “if it wasn’t for the swimming, they probably wouldn’t become friends bc of their different personalities”, which in no way means that the only thing Rin likes about Haru is swimming [sending you to this post with all the real proof] and vice versa as some of them say and if you don’t see that this ain’t true, you’ve watched smth else.

As I’ve said before according to their logic all ships are invalid in this case, cause “if it wasn’t for basketball / volleyball / ice-skating / mutual goal of becoming heroes, etc they all wouldn’t be friends”. Also since when different personalities in a ship discard the ship? Cause all the canon ships have opposite attract thing going on and been doing just fine, thanks. As people in life. Cause I don’t know a person who would want to date yourself tbh.

Haru said the Sousuke reminds him of Rin a lot and in books Sousuke described as Rin’s alter ego. He also reminds Rin of his dad. Of course, they’re on the same wave, of course, they undestand each other the best. I understand myself the best. Makoto is Haru’s shadow, his whole life is based on following him, he literally has no personal dreams or whatever since the moment he met him, Haru in the books literally cringes since he just repeats what they do, even if he just goes for a run [here are all the direct, unedited, original quotes]. I do not know Makoto’s true identity, sometimes I think he’s Haru’s ghost.

And I agree with her statement. And no, she didn’t mean it in a romantic way as mh fans still think after all this time AND all the CANON that happened and what Haru said out loud. She is a well known hardcore Rinharu fan, who like me “can talk about these two forever” and writes random short stories about them and also, man, they’re literally in her every work. LIKE JUST KNOWING THIS, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, SHE DID NOT MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

I know this would be painful for this person to hear, but if she read the books and watched the anime Makoto’s personality and his attitude towards life, they do not inspire Haru... he’s just not a fan, to say, to soften the blow. He very much appreciates and loves him as a friend, but he does not respect his way of living, even comparing him to a sticky fly (A FLY!), who has nothing else to do, but stick to somebody else. They said zillion times, the reason Haru admires Rin is not bc of his swimming, but because of the way he lives. Rin is free, Rin is “vibrant”, he compares him to a strong vivid red flower among the other peasants. If Haru is canonically Rin’s shining, Rin is more like Haru’s sun tbh.

Also I have like a whole book of what Utsumi and the crew said about Rinharu being a couple, but they’re still running around with this one thing for 7 years. Like do you have anything else? Like literally... anything? It’s 2021 and each time the interpretation of that interview is getting wilder and wilder lol. Let’s just, let’s please quote the real things, I’m begging you. Like one anon said, pls seriously, I understand if mh is your thing, but let’s not be too blind. Stop running around with the only quote you have and twist it.

I also have ships that are not canon, but I do not try to prove that they are, I try to prove why I ship them and why they are better then canon in such cases.The truth is in Free! from the beginning they never wrote anyone besides rinharu as romantic relationship, it is what it is. That is the anime and books fact. If you think that Makoto is “a better match” for Haru (god forbid tbh), that’s your preference, but lets not write what’s not there. It’s like each new season/movie/drama/story is out creators write things black on white, but someone is still like “it ain’t canon, it just ain’t, I haven’t seen this”. Who the fuck after everything that happened thinks that Rin have ROMANTIC feelings for Sousuke and Haru for Makoto?! (I’d understand the other way around maybe, but NOT THIS!). I’m serious... as in okay, you can prefer your ships despite everything, it’s a free state, but you can’t think so... like for real, after everything that Rin and Haru said themselves... or do they think everyone is under imperius curse casted by Rinharu fans and it’s all just a HUGE lie? :D

ALSO WE’RE IN 2021! I THOUGHT THIS WAS NOT THING ANYMORE. AS IN ARGUMENTS LIKE WHO IS THE REAL DEAL (not which ship is better..psst, its rinharu still). THEY WANT TO “TRAVEL THE WORLD TOGETHER AND BE IN ONE BE TOGETHER” AND SWIM IN ALL KIND OF TOURNAMENTS NOW THAT THEY’RE TOGETHER, LEAVE THEM BE ALREADY PLS SERIOUSLY. THEY JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER... IT WAS LITERALLY THEIR DREAM. AS IN THEY BOTH WANT TO BE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY. I KNOW YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH MAKOTO FOR SOME REASON, AND YOU THINK HARU IS HIS ONLY OPTION AND THAT’S YOUR REASONING, BUT HARU’S ALSO A PERSON. WITH HIS OWN WISHES. SO PLS CONSIDER IT, TOO. HE’S ALSO NEVER BEEN HAPPIER AS HE WAS DURING THAT NIGHT TRIP, SO PLS CONSIDER THIS, TOO. ALSO PLS CONSIDER THE WHOLE FREAKING ANIME.

♫ let it go, let it go ♫ (I fucking hate this song, but pls lol)

#answered #anonymous #Free!#free #rinharu #harurin #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #free! iwatobi swim club

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amyscascadingtabs · 3 years

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2020 in writing

tagged by the wonderful @feeisamarshmallow and @b99peraltiago! thank you, this took me seriously three hours but it was fun.

tagging whoever has three hours to spare!! but i’d love to see @amydancepants-peralta, @letsperaltiago, @johnny-and-dora, and @fezzle do this, although no pressure because this took me the entire evening.

1. List of works published this year

oh god this is going to take forever...

i’ll walk through hell with you, chapter 5, 6 & 7

all the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

a single kiss and i’m under your spell

paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

dust off your highest hopes

i can’t see the future, but i know that it’s there

look now, the sky is gold

look at where we are, look at where we started

bracing for the winds i always summon

just know that i’m already home

there’s magic everywhere you go

we’ve found a love to cross the ages

all my days, i’ll know your face

hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

(three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life

if devotion is a river, then i’m floating away

when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)

evermore

i am not a stranger to the dark

in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you

rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky

21 works!!

2. Work you are most proud of (and why)

I am really really proud of finishing i’ll walk through hell with you, that’s still one of the highlights in my writing “career”. bracing for the winds i always summon and (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, because they were both longer works with a lot of introspection that focused a lot on jake and amy’s feelings about upcoming parenthood. especially the last one I still love dearly. i’m also really proud of the fics i wrote all from rosa’s perspective (paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans and when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet)).

3. Work you are least proud of (and why)

none! I guess a few of them are shorter and written way quicker than some others, but I always take that into consideration when “evaluating” how proud I am of them so no. personally, I’m proud of everything in different ways.

4. A favourite except of your writing

referring to the creator tag meme for this where I posted excerpts from the five works I’m most proud of!

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received

questions like these remind me that I need to start saving my favorite reviews somewhere! that’s a goal for 2021, haha. but every comment that have listed their favorite moments in the fic I reread like five times over and smile every time, and all the comments people left me on the last chapter of i’ll walk through hell with you were so wonderful. and the rosa fic. and the -

you know what, I just started reading through old comments and I can’t pick one, it feels too unfair to all the other incredible ones I ’ve gotten. so. all of them!!!! I love you guys!!

I will mention this one that someone sent me in the middle of summer, during a period when I wasn’t writing or publishing so it ended up meaning that much more for that reason as well. comment on look at where we are, look at where we started (in the brief period of time when we thought peraltiago baby would be named Leo)

“Idk why, but the way Jake was talking to Leo made me wonder if my parents ever talked to me like that right after I was born. I've been told the story of my birth every birthday since I was born, so I know it by heart, but despite the countless Peraltiago baby fics and other fandom baby fics I've read, this is the one that made me wonder what my parents were thinking when I was born. And then it made me wonder what I'm gonna think when I give birth to a kid, or if I adopt a kid.” like, I was just so floored that something I wrote made someone reflect so deeply on their own life. and I want to underline that I have so so many favourite reviews but yes, this one stuck with me!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard

this summer was the hardest it’s ever been. first the (rightful) hesitance and reflection that followed the BLM protests and then some trauma and deep depression added onto that for me was… yeah. it took a really long time to find real joy in it again.

7. A scene of characters you wrote that surprised you

Jake and Rosa’s friendship in i am not a stranger to the dark! I’ve written a bit of Rosa and Amy and feel quite comfortable with their friendship and dynamic but far less of Jake and Rosa!

“At least this is still way better than... that.” “Literally everything is better than prison.” “True that.” Rosa looks up at the tv, realizing she’s missed at least ten minutes of the movie already. “I’m glad we got out.” “Sometimes it still feels like a part of me didn't,” Jake says, quietly. “You ever feel that way?” “Sometimes,” she admits. “We did, though. That's what's important.”

Rosa can hear someone talking in the background on the other end, and Jake mumbling something back in reply. “I have to go,” he tells her, and it makes her a little sad, because he's good company. “I can't miss dinner. Wouldn't want to piss off the entirety of my fiancées family before I’ve even married her, right?”

8. How did you grow as a writer this year?

I wrote more Rosa! that’s probably the single thing which helped me grow most, because she’s arguably a much harder character to write than Jake and Amy, since most of the time you really have no clue what she’s thinking. I have to think a lot harder about how Rosa thinks and feels and reacts to things and I feel like that makes me a better writer overall.

9. How do you hope to grow next year?

I don’t have any big expectations tbh. I know next year is going to take so much of my energy “”professionally”” or well, study-wise, so I think it’s the wrong year to set ambitious creative writing goals for me. then there’s also the inevitable fact that I’ve written a whopping ninety-nine stories for this show now and I’m always asking myself for how long it will last. there was a point in april-may where I thought it was going to be the end and during the entire summer as well. so… we’ll see. I don’t have any WIP I’m aching to finish right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta of cheerleader or muse etc. etc.)?

@fezzle, @johnny-and-dora, @vernonfielding, @amydancepants-peralta, @feeisamarshmallow, @amazingsantiago and @letsperaltiago all deserve their own shoutouts here for various reasons!! (if you want to know more about why just message me!)

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year?

always, in different ways in how I relate to the characters and different feelings and moments and experiences that would take way too long to explain. but if I could choose one fic it would be paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans. I worked through a lot of feelings about a breakup I went through in this one and they were ones I hadn’t really had the chance to let myself feel before writing this. It isn’t similar to how my breakup went, at least I didn’t mean for it to be and haven’t put any intentional similarities in there (although I guess there are a few if you look for them) but some of the things Rosa thinks, says and feels after being broken up with were quite personal. i am not a stranger to the dark and the way it focuses on healing after trauma was also partly personal although way much less obviously so because the experiences are quite different lol.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

make writer friends! talk to other writers! you’ll both learn so much and it makes writing and developing fics so much more fun!

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I currently have zero WIP and zero real plans so genuinely who knows. all depends on what my life will look like and what s8 will bring us!

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year

all the favourite five, but maybe when all your heroes get tired (i’ll be something better yet). I think it’s a great complement to the Rosa and Amy action we saw in season 7 and it has a lot of peraltiago from someone else’s viewpoint as well.

15. Year word count

are you kidding meeeee okay here we go.

okay, so adding everything I’ve published this year together… 111 283 words.

😳 😳 😳

DEAR GOD.

additional trivia: the shortest fic was 651 words (evermore), the longest if you exclude the three chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you (they are 24.6k together though) (three times ‘cause) i’ve waited my whole life, and the average word count for a fic of mine this year was 5 299 or 4 838 words, depending on whether you count the chapters of i’ll walk through hell with you as one or three works. that makes sense because i feel like i’ve written a loot of fics around that length this year!

#johanna talks writing #THANK YOU fee and adele for tagging me in this i've been so excited to do it

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keiscait · 3 years

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Hi! I just wanted to say from the match-ups I have seen that you are such a great writer! If it’s not too much I was wondering if I could get a living room and bedroom matchup for a male character. If both are too much, feel free to do one whichever one you feel like you can write better. I wanna do this anon so the emoji you can use for me is: <33

Info:

Pronouns: She/Hers

Personality: I am a very goal orientated person and I can become very hard on myself sometimes if I don’t achieve things as well as I wanted to. I tend to be quiet but not shy per say. I do not have trouble talking to people and making friends and I can become very outgoing but in the friend group itself I usually keep to myself. If I am comfortable with you I will make witty remarks and make fun of you in a playful friend banter kinda way but I would like to say I am a good listener so I can get serious real quick. I am really big on trust and I used to trust too easily and now I am a bit more closed off where it is a bit harder for me to trust others.

Relationships: When it comes to relationships, I believe in communication and I haven’t had a big problem with it in the past. I wouldn’t mind a small pda such as hand holding or a small kiss here and there but nothing over the top because you gotta keep the important stuff private ya know. My love language is quality time because I tend to be really busy once school starts and so making effort to see each other even through our busy schedules is really important to keep the relationship healthy.

Hobbies: I believe that you need a good balance between work and play though so some other hobbies I have are painting (acrylic and watercolor), baking, and skateboarding. I also listen to music everyday and watch like an episode before I go to sleep if I have school but binge watch on break. I also try to game a bit too like league, minecraft, and my switch. I also like hiking and runs in the mornings before class because it really clears my head and I used to be on the swim team but I don’t competitively do it anymore.

Bedroom: I believe I would be a switch that leans more submissive. However, I am really cautious to do anything because I need to trust them to be submissive. I would consider myself very open to different kinks and what not and aftercare is a must. I’m not super into degrading because I’m sensitive af. I just would want someone who is observant with me and my body as well as someone who helps me with my insecurities. Once I’m comfortable though I definitely become a brat. Just want someone who would manhandle but still tell me i’m the prettiest girl they’ve ever met hahaha.

Zodiac: Pisces (sun), Cancer (rising), and Leo (moon)

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Future Plans/ Dreams: I am working to become a biomedical engineer one day to help make medical devices to help people. Right now I am leaning towards possibly doing physical therapy and making prosthetics.

Looks: I’m 5’6/5’7 and have a medium build. I am tan kinda like a honey color with black wavy/slightly curly hair that is about at my breast length. My eyes are hazel but mainly light brown and I have pretty big doe like eyes.

Sorry if it’s too much or too little but thank you so much! and I have such respect for writers so keep being you :) HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY SAFE

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Hello and welcome, my darling! So sorry for the long wait, and thank you SO MUCH for your kind words! (⌒‿⌒)❤️ Let’s get right to it then! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

I was reading your description, and I think the person I had in mind for you also fits your bedroom matchup!

Our lovely guest keeping us company in both rooms is...

(Runner up: Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Kageyama is a very complex character. He’s one of the few characters ever who we actually see slips back into his old bad habits every now and then, but is immediately remorseful and shows signs of him knowing better. He’s always striving for progress, and he understands more than others what it’s like to dislike your past self.

- Tobio here is somehow both incredibly observant yet so fricking DENSE

- I imagine that however it is that you two meet, he’ll be super formal at first. It’ll take a little while for a romance to build because he’s not used to opening up, and he’ll need to really trust the person for him to let his walls down

- however, as soon as you guys establish a friendship, he’d be drawn to you and how goal-oriented you are, especially since he is, too

- He’d take interest in you, notice all your little quirks, and would even find himself blushing whenever you playfully tease him

- Problem is, he has no fucking clue why HAHAH

- I love him sm but boy doesn’t know what it is to like someone

- Hinata would try to explain it to him and he’d just be like cr- cru--... c-CRUSH?? ...what is that?

- Man is in desperate need of wingman someone help him

- Anyway, once his friends get Operation: Get Tobio A Girlfriend in motion, he just turns into his pouty blushy self whenever he sees you

- The other boys will probably go overboard that he’ll be forced to take matters into his own hands

- The confession would be a damn mess but in an adorable way

- He’d 100% yell his feelings at you while pouting/blushing

- You’d have to shush him TBH

- shush him with a kiss maybe? that’s a great way to shut him up ( 　･ิω･ิ)

- Kageyama_Tobio.exe stopped responding

- anyway I think he’d just be such a soft, protective boyfriend, especially since you’re kind of quiet

- You two would understand each other so well. He’d protect you and your quiet side, while you would help him be more relatable in order to make friends. It’s also perfect that you two are both goal-oriented, because then you’d be on the same page when it comes to co-dependence/independence. One would understand the other when it comes to pressure, deadlines, and hard work, and you’d just be super supportive of each other all the time

- I think you’re better at communicating than he is, so you may have to inform him a bit on how it should work between the two of you. He’d pick up on this really fast tho so no need to worry! Kags has got you ;)

- Dates would be really productive ones. Study dates, work dates, workout dates; anything that would be beneficial to your improvement

- Early morning hikes with Kags :’( beautiful

- He really appreciates that you’re not big on PDA because that puts a lot less pressure on himself to be someone he’s not. PLUS I imagine he’s the same as you, who really treasures the private moments between the two of you because you’re both so busy

- Once you guys have some private time, he’d take it as an opportunity to release all his pent up energy and emotions. He’d be so needy and clingy when he knows others can’t see

- ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) also u kno whassup when you guys finally get some private time ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ)( 　･ิω･ิ)

- I don’t think Kags is the very kinky type. He’d be a dom, but I don’t think the freaky stuff would really appeal to him, especially if it’s degradation, since the man worships you?? He’s just like... why tho

- He may get into some stuff that emphasizes his strength, mostly how he grabs you and handles your body

- Picks up on your sweet spots really quick, and I imagine he can even deduce which parts are sensitive without you having to tell him

- Apologizes if he ever makes you uncomfortable :’( he’d just be SO tender and protective

- I don’t think he knows what aftercare is, or like the specifics of it, but I think despite that, he’d just naturally want to take care of you and check in on you afterwards. He’d ask if you’re okay, if you need anything, if you’re feeling any kind of pain, if there’s anything he can improve on. And he’d definitely scan your body for any bruises.

You were walking home from an exhausting day at work.

There were more than a few setbacks today - an annoying coworker took credit for your hard work, your precisely detailed schedule wasn’t honored by others, and because of this, you weren’t able to have lunch. It was now 6:30PM. The rain poured as you waited at the bus stop. You were famished, soaked, and, quite frankly, so done with this day.

You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. You were so out of it today that you haven’t had the chance to check on your unread messages. Your boyfriend, Tobio, had left a few missed calls over the past hour, causing some worry. He didn’t usually call, given how busy he was all the time. You texted him first to check in.

You: Everything okay, bub?

K: Yes. Sorry about all the missed calls. Where are you right now?

Y: At the bus stop near my building. Why?

K: Which one?

K: Never mind. I see you

What? You whipped your head left and right, then saw your boyfriend’s figure standing a few meters away, umbrella in hand. He was truly a sight for sore eyes right now - he wasn’t wearing anything special, juts his usual tracksuit, but he was wrapped in a scarf and held a soft expression on his face. It was just the warmth you needed right now. He jogged over to you, closing the umbrella as he made it under the roof.

“Hi love,” you started, “what on earth are you doing here?” A huge weight seems to have been lifted off of you.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, rubbing your body to give extra warmth. Pulling back, he took off his scarf so that he could wrap it around your neck.

“It’s been raining all day but I noticed you left your umbrella at home. I was hoping to catch you before you left work so that you don’t have to walk in the rain.” You couldn’t help the smile that was erupting through the exhaustion. This felt like an all new Tobio. “I guess I was a little too late, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, don’t worry about it. Thank you for thinking of me, bub.” You allowed yourself to slump onto him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You felt him loosen up, strong arms making their way around your form. You looked up at him without pulling away. Your big doe eyes stared into his blue ones, totally sinking into each other’s gaze. He planted a small kiss onto your nose. It wasn’t normal for you to be so affectionate outdoors, but right now, it seemed apt. You scrunched up your nose in response.

Had it not been for the honking of the bus, the two of you could’ve cuddled in the rain for much longer, ridding each other of the lousiness of the day.

I hope that was alright with you, darling! Thank you so much for trusting me with your matchup. Hope you’re having a wonderful new year so far!! Please don’t hesitate to sit and have a chat with me anytime ❤️

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

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nakalimutang-sumpaan · 3 years

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The amount of effort I put into you guys dude. ESPECIALLY you. And I don’t even have feelings for you like that... But I’ve been hearing you started talking to someone and more people close to you are adding her on IG so... I mean it’s one thing if it’s just Ading following. But now it’s even your mom, sister, and Bible teachers lol so it must be serious? I just hope she’s a good one, despite your mom not liking her for some reason.

It’s so weird how my love language is Touch and Words of Affirmation... which is true. That’s how I feel the most love. And I’m also very affectionate and touchy if I love and am comfy around you.

However, I don’t know if this is a thing but... I feel like the way I feel

(OMG YOU JUST TEXTED BC YOU JUST CAME OVER TO PICK UP YOUR GIFTS AND SAID THAT YOU JUST READ MY LETTER and AHHHH I’M LITERALLY CRYINGGG 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ AND IT MADE YOU “tear up a bit.. 😭 hahaha” YESSSS HAHAHAHA. And you said it was exactly what you needed to hear bc sometimes you forget and are so hard on yourself 🥺 ugh and I just assured you how much I/we look up to you and love you. And you just said “🥺 aww thanks, I love you guys too 😊” GAH but I’m sorry what?! Like dude... you’ve accomplished SO MUCH and have your life together already and are doing things people in their mid-20s or even mid-30s are trying to do, and you can’t even legally drink yet 😂 bruh. Just 🙃 are you kidding me... can I be you!? HAHA. Freaking pioneer, MS, summa cum laude, like 10 talks within a year since you first gave your first one, got a REAL ADULT JOB A MONTH AFTER GRADUATING FREAKING $35 STARTING WITH FREE COMPUTERS AND IPADS. And how you gave your sister the new iPad you got bc she gave away her old Samsung tablet to an elderly one to make it easier to access Zoom and you guys helped show her how everything works. Bought a new car... which isn’t the dream car we both found out we shared but it’s still sexy and feeling the vroom vroom just makes me 🤤 HAHA and it’s so funny bc I always know when you’re outside when you drop something off/pick something up before letting me know. Like ugh. You make it so easy to love you. I wish you’d see yourself through my eyes 🥺 or Jehovah’s eyes. Tbh though I think that was the best and most heartfelt letter I’ve ever written. Strangely enough it’s always for you. You just make it so easy. I remember when I made that card 2 years ago and freaked out bc I’ve been wanting to do that for my best friend and drew the front of her card, but all I wrote inside were a few words and just never finished. It’s still sitting in my shelf. But with you, it just flowed. And then I asked myself, “How you gonna do this for him of all people when you haven’t done it for any of your best/closest friends?” So I made Marc one and tbh that was the best card I’ve ever made LOL. Until now. For you. I hope you pin it somewhere as a reminder. I wonder if you kept the first one. I hope you did lol. But like dude... I just reread this recent one over and over after you said you just read it.. and I realized it’s like a freaking love/Anniversary letter wth LOL uh...oops?)

BUT WHAT I WAS SAYING...

The way I feel/receive love is different than how I show it. I show it moreso through yes, Touch, but I’m not very good with words. I mean sure, I’m going be as encouraging as I can be, and am one to take every opportunity to say GOOD JOB! And I’M PROUD OF YOU. But I’m not like others who can literally hype you up and are so articulate and encouraging no matter what the situation is. If you’re feeling down or sad, I feel like yes ima be there to hug you and listen. But I’m not good at responding and saying something wise right off the bat without processing first. I instead am very much an Acts of Service person. Let me do this for you. Cook cook cook. Bake bake bake. Draw and put in effort into letters and gifts. I bought this bc I saw it and thought of you (Okay I lowkey think it might actually be gift giving bc I try my best to gift personal and thoughtful things and make mental or actual notes about others haha) but yeah Idk! I think the way I experience is different that the way I express. It’s interesting.

But yo I’m crying hahaha. And it’s so funny bc I can tell you’re really still thinking about the letter and reading it again. You keep texting every few minutes. “Did I really say those things to you? Sometimes I forget what I said hahaha” “Yeah hahaha I mean it was a while back but they stuck with me 😆” It’s pretty dang cute my heart can’t take it haha. That was literally the goal though bc I have NEVER SEEN YOU CRY OR EVEN TEAR UP OR BE ONE TO SHOW ANY TYPE OF EMOTION LIKE THAT LOL. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO GET IT OUT OF YOU FOR YEARS. SO WOOHOOOO. SUCCESS! HAHA. I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HAPPY. YOU HAPPY MAKES MY HEART HAPPY BC YOU DESERVE THE BESTTT ☺️☺️☺️💙💙💙

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vaguely-concerned · 4 years

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Mass Effect: Annihilation thoughts

TL;DR I fucking LOVED IT, a balm to my heart after struggling through Nexus Uprising! Also canonical lesbians! The sweetest quarian & his badass grandma! Elcor Hamlet except this time it’ll make you cry!!!

- Aaaaaah the audiobook reader is Tom Taylorson (so male Ryder)!! Fryda Wolf (female Ryder) read the two others and did a nice job, but man I’m soft for his voice in a way only rivaled by (...outside-of-Overwatch!)Jennifer Hale and Nicholas Boulton haha. He also has a much better handle on the pronunciations and voices for the different alien species -- delightful, I’m still cackling over his pitch perfect elcor impersonation. (Bioware please give him more Scott Ryder to voice I miss my son)

- I’m only about half an hour in and this is already SO much better than Nexus Uprising, it really does feel like a brave new galaxy haha. Very funny, very warm and smart and engaging in how it does its characterization and Valente clearly has affection for the setting and the universe, she and Jemisin both do incredible jobs with these.

- I’m fucking crying laughing at this cross-species near-brawl over a flower arrangement, god I love Mass Effect SO MUCH (what a neat idea though. something blooming quietly even when no one can see it. impractical as hell and hilariously including a high-nutrition celery now, but still neat)

Taylorson continues to wonderful things with the voices, that volus suit sound is so good. (he’s just generally really good at comedy) also a volus bellowing insults ‘moments before punching an anti-bouquet batarian in the groin’ sdafhjklsahfsjadkhfklajshdfkjlsadhf

- a high as a kite elcor... what a time to be alive, to get to read this book

I have already reached the ‘I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR’ stage with these characters, hard boiled drell detective lady and sweet sweet quarian first officer and manically enthusiastic elcor doctor TOT I would die for any one of you!!!

- The quarian/multispecies ark was built for long-term habitation, potentially over multiple generations. So what you’re telling me is that the quarians are the only ones who fucking thought this through and the rest of the Initiative probably should have listened to the people who’ve essentially been living on arks for ages. Who’d’ve thunk huh lol. (I guess the in-universe explanation is that people like the mysterious benefactor just wanted those arks yeeted to Andromeda ASAP, no time to get fancy in case the Reapers changed up their schedule. Fair enough)

- ;n; petition to let senna have a SAM pls (also uh. how happy do you think the stringently anti-AI quarian pathfinder will be when he finds out about everyone else’s SAMs lol lol lol he’s going to PASS OUT FROM RAGE upon meeting ryder. well he sounds like an asshole, I hope he dies so senna gets a chance)

- I can’t BELIEVE yorrik is an anti-stratfordianist, i am betRAYED! disgraceful, how can I still love you knowing this (and yet I do he is extremely funny and sweet)!!! (at least his theory is that this so-called ‘shakespeare’ was actually an elcor, which makes it better somehow lol. anything so long as he’s not an oxfordian tbh)

senna and yorrik’s friendship is so good and wholesome

- I really love the consistent alien POVs in this book, mass effect should indulge in this more -- everyone loves this universe so much, bioware, stop making us squint through a human lense to look at it!!

- oh of course quarian ‘pirates’ exist, the people who’re thrown out of the fleet must be doing something huh.

- haven’t written that many notes in a while just because I’m enjoying myself so much, I keep forgetting

- lfsdkhfsajkldhfskadjhfsjakdfhsdkjfh communist volus!!!! this is not a drill, communist volus! I am completely and utterly charmed by this entire book

- the quarian ancestor VI is so interesting and weirdly touching. senna is adorable (and relatably neurotic lol)

grandma AI smoking T___________T I love everything about this, she’s so cool. the worldbuilding being done around pre-geth revolution rannoch here... exquisite

- way to make me cry about batarians cat valente ;_______;

- the voice acting is SO FUCKING GOOD! I keep forgetting it’s one dude reading all these characters haha, I caught myself wanting to look up who voiced this dying batarian. (special shoutout that he does so many wonderfully distinct and specific female voices!)

- haHA I KNEW the quarian VI was a full AI (or near enough that it makes little difference tbh)!!! this fabulous grandma was self aware the entire time b i t c h e s !!!!

- the running joke of borbala’s ‘you need ______? I can make _______ happen’ is SO satisfying hahaha

ooooooh serious femslash vibes!!!! initially I thought batarian ex-crime matriarch was too old for drell PI, but this is undeniable. (I don’t think we actually ever get to know how old annex is, anyway, come to think of it) I guess if asari get to be five times older than everyone else and still fuck freely this isn’t really that weird lol

- “don’t look! it’s not so bad if you don’t look!” ofhsdalfhskldlsfjas oh senna baby boy

hey qetsi? qetsi both senna and I love grandma liat more than you. stand the fuck down

- NOOOO GRANDMA LIAT ;______________________________________;

- do you think SAM could meet liat (either ship!liat or just grandma!liat).... and have... a friend ;_________; (a cool laidback friend who isn’t a murderous angaran ai who might very well go the murder suicide sort of friendship route lol)

anyway I miss SAM a lot and love him??

- yorrik noooooooooooo this is awful everything is bad and terrible I love all of them so much why must senna be sad and watch everything he loves fade away 😭😭😭

“Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood/Clean from my hand?” He realized he’d forgotten to preface the words with an emotion. Now they wouldn’t understand what he meant.

Oh. Oh what a way to drive home the sadness and loneliness of this moment f u c k (and again the emotion taylorson brings to it jesus cHRIST)

I’m destroyed over how much senna and yorrik love each other, cross species found family out here wrecking my heart in true mass effect style

- yorrik is such a great character though. he’d be so easy to make a one-note joke character (like most elcor have been in canon lbr), but there’s nuance and depth and just enough satsifyingly believable alienness there. (I love the staunch elcor ‘you can’t call anything love that hasn’t lasted at least two centuries’ perspective haha) his memories of his childhood and disappointment with his profession and everything... goodnight sweet prince indeed :(

- they went and made elcor hamlet heartbreaking how dare they

(to be real for a second I think some of the human culture references are a little bit clunky, but the elcor hamlet stuff is perfect. contextualizing a throwaway joke from the original trilogy and giving it emotional depth, helping us see it from the elcor perspective and how frustrating and lonely it is to be so fundamentally not emotionally understood or seen on a level most of the other races are, despite their other differences, even though you have all these feelings and want to communicate... its very good.)

fun additional fact: both mordin and yorrik have played/wanted to play polonius in a production of hamlet! though I guess mordin is the slightly problematic fave in that duo and yorrik is a sweet melancholic angel who has never done anything wrong in his life, I would say protect him but I guess it’s too late for that D:

- qetsi giving off some real ophelia vibes here, I wish yorrik was here to see it, he’s the only one who’d properly appreciate it despite it all

- I. am. SO FUCKING HUNGRY for more mass effect after this (well even more so than usual) I’m so hyped!! I love this universe so much! I want a new andromeda game with senna as quarian pathfinder and grandma liat as the ship’s AI and see how they interact with ryder and SAM! (honestly though I feel like senna might be the one who’d translate the most cleanly into a game, I think there’s a lot of potential in him that’s barely being realized towards the end there with his deep righteous rage cutting through his uncertainty. also I just want nice things for him. is that so much to ask. he is a good boy, yorrik was so right.)

- aaaah not just femslash vibes, canonical lesbians, this is not a drill! I can’t wait until they propose... ‘we get shit done together, want to be in good cop/bad cop with me until the day we die y/n?’

- the ME universe doesn’t feel quite itself without all these ‘background’ species hanging around, I suddenly realize. I dream of an Andromeda sequel with all of them on the board and in play again Y-------Y

- potential Liat and SAM dynamics are so fucking interesting though! if she becomes/is confirmed as a full AI (all I hope and dream of), you’ll have two artificial intelligences with such different starting points but not that dissimilar goals? Liat was an organic person once who’s looking out for her family even now, and SAM is completely artificial but also intimately tied to and protecting His People. (and pulling a whole lot of symbolic weight re: the strength of familial/interpersonal relationships to boot; he’s the best way alec ryder managed to connect with his children. even though he was dead. because as established alec ryder was a disaster of a person)

- I enjoyed the loose murder mystery structure of this quite a lot, but that might also be because nexus uprising is so shapeless and meandering by comparison that I’d be relieved by anything else (sorry I’ll stop ragging on NU soon it just. took some hours of my life I can’t get back)

- jemisin did great stuff for characters already in andromeda (cora, SAM, alec ryder) and valente made me remember just why I love this universe so much and desperately want these aspects brought to andromeda too... and now I’ve exhausted all the fresh mass effect content I had available to me and will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the time it takes for a new game to be announced thank you and goodbye

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #mass effect annihilation #*vibrates silently with cravings for more mass effect all while knowing it's gonna be a good goddamn while yet*#thank you cat valente this was a very nice gift

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clockworkswans · 4 years

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thoughts on mots:7?? *eyes emoji*

aaaaaaah it feels like SO LONG since we’ve had music, even though we get so much content! i feel so spoilt lmao.

think i’m gonna skip the tracks from persona, they’re all legends but i’ll end up making this ten pages long otherwise!

under the cut cause it’s looooooong, oops.

interlude shadow - this had some serious challenge coming after its god-tier predecessor, seesaw, ngl, but WOW. yoongi’s solo songs have such a unique style despite being different genres/moods and his lyrics are always what i especially look forward to diving into and shadow was no different! a lot of people say this too but the autotune works SO WELL for him and the way he plays with the rhythms in shadow is amazing. and that last section?? EXPLOSIVE. that’s gonna slay on tour oh my god.

black swan - i wish i’d made notes when it first came out but it took me a while to get used to this sound because it was so interesting and haunting. the topics in this song are so relatable and frightening tbh, it’s something i feel a lot recently, that fear of losing passion for your hobbies and job, etc, and surrendering to the darker emotions of giving up on those dreams (wow, dark, CHILL). after seeing the first performance of it as well!! omg!! some of their absolute BEST choreo yet, easily.

filter - mr. park. JIMIN. I was not prepared for this song and it’s so sexy and smooth and i want to scream thinking about choreo for this on tour, wtf man. this song was my jam right away!! the latin vibes!! rumba/salsa in a club at 2am vibes!! also idk if this is misreading the lyrics but i love the lowkey dark/seductive undertone of making anyone fall in love with you/celeb perception, etc. (probably reading way too much into it lol but still, loved the lyrics). But yes, WOW. Can he let me choreo pls?? i want him to have a CHAIR and a suit and tie and to absolutely destrOY us.

my time - before i go into this, i wanna say how much i loved the vocal line doing completely different stuff and defying all my expectations. the mood of this song is so unique and the slow rhythm with his just…absolutely gorgeous emotive voice makes it so refreshing. Also!! something i found really cool is jungkook doing stuff that’s more complex in emotion and a bit sadder/darker? he’s always had the happy golden perfect boyTM vibe and that’s cute af but also this song lets him be a bit confusing and mature and lost for once. This song hit me quite personally too because the lyrics about time and distance hit close to home as i have friends and loved ones moving out of my life and i just wanna feel not so stuck. I can’t WAIT to see what kind of staging he’ll do for this?? it could be anything lol, i really can’t guess.

louder than bombs - legit EVERYTHING i wanted from a troye/bts collaboration project oh my god. The music and build-up for this song is so bittersweet and haunting, the VOCALS oh my god?? truly stole my breath, wow. the rap line verses had some seriously hard-hitting lyrics too, the lower ranges of namjoon and yoongi made my heart STOP. (something i’ve always loved with bts is the way they play with flow through members taking different parts, which sounds so obvious lol, it’s what you do with a group, but i always love the way bts uses their members’ tones/styles to create a great mix in a song). I feel like this song truly sets up the recurring theme of acknowledging and embracing the good and bad, the wholeness of it is really vulnerable and - pun intended - explosive! it reminds me of the ‘sing louder to drown out the pain’ kind of mindset. sometimes you just gotta sing louder and sadder and ache.

ON - i actually don’t have much to say on this one because it’s just SO BTS and perfect for a title track and will absolutely GO OFF live. also the choreo is hard as hell lmao GOOD LUCK PEOPLE TRYING TO LEARN IT. also i’m gonna say it alongside everyone else but…JUNGKOOK’S HOLY BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! - *aroused and scared.* this beat!!!! slaps!!! rapline songs can never fail tbh, also….i think i already love this more than outro: tear and we haven’t even had a performance lol. I don’t have any coherent thoughts to add other than HOLYYY SHIIIIT. This will be so fierce live??? i’m gonna get whiplash headbanging probably. also…can they PLEASE do choreo for that last bit??? please. please.

zero o’clock - lol some songs just make you ugly sob and then you read the lyrics and ABSOLUTELY SOB. this little asshole right here came for my entire heart. it’s pretty spot on for how i feel right now: just get through the day and wait for the next and try and be a bit happier. the bittersweet, hopeful tone is so lovely and really touching. it’s heartbreaking ngl, but in a healing, therapeutic way. it’s so soft and mellow without being too air-y which is pretty hard to get right tbh.

inner child - my favourite vocal line solo!!! i’m always so in love with taehyung’s solo songs tbh, his voice and songs are always my cup of tea, thank you for being a true hopeless romantic sir. this song is SO end-of-indie-movie and i’m completely hooked on it already, i walk to work and keep looping it and it makes me smile and tear up just thinking about hearing it live already. I love how it’s a love letter to his younger self, comforting, sad and so full of heart and acceptance. We all find it hard to look back but to have a song that says it’s okay to be proud of every version of yourself and your growth is AMAZING. i haven’t stopped thinking of the ‘we gonna change’ and i’ll give you my world’ lines. truly magical.

friends - shut up this is the SWEETEST SONG EVER. so my best friend is finally moving away from the hometown we’ve shared for 11 years and i am very vulnerable about it right now, so this coming out when it did?? a bit of an attack lol. but it really made me smile and be SO GRATEFUL to her, and to everyone else in my life and the bonds i have around me. jimin and tae’s friendship is the sweetest thing and to have them release a platonic love song??? to sing on tour together?? after growing up and becoming legends together? wow. talk about bff goals. the adorable details in the lyrics make it so personal and genuine, and the crowd-chanting bits in the chorus are gonna sound awesome live. also not to get sappy and cheesy but this also makes me think of all the friends people have made in this fandom and community and how we’re all enjoying this awesome thing together? love that, man.

moon - THAT’S THE LOML, KIM SEOKJIN, SLAYING AGAIN. awake and epiphany were both so epic and emotional in the traditional ballad genre, so hearing this was just?? SO COOL. it’s so happy and sweet and shows off his high range effortlessly. this has such an addictive melody, i kept humming it at work today and driving myself nuts lmao. it makes me think of summer days and hanging out with friends or on your own in the sun, reading. i also love how he expanded on ‘beauty’ as it’s always a word thrown at him lol, but he made it so innocent and lovely, like idk if he’s fed up of everyone yelling handsome at him and embarrassing him lmao but it was so wholesome of him to then turn around and make a song about appreciating subtle beauty and the bonds between army and bts (god i’m LAME, blame this album).

respect - this song’s such a VIBE. love the founders of bts doing a song together, god, just bros being bros and jamming together?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I didn’t realise how much i’d love this duo together but it’s so natural and you can see how much they love writing and working together. the lyrics are so fun and snarky and the throwback old-school bts vibe is PERFECT. it’s that clever thing they do of re-visiting older works and combining it with your present self to make something familiar yet different. so so cool.

we are bulletproof: eternal - omg so the first line of this i started laughing so hard because i was SO SURE it would be a Concert Jam™. then i sobered up pretty quickly and cue the tears and emotions lmao. This song gives me heartbeat/sea/mikrokosmos energy, it falls in that ‘epic emotional singalong’ genre they do beautifully. you bet your ass i’m gonna be bawling at this on the tour. i lost it crying in that last bridge when they say ‘why are you still walking with us’, it just hit me that wow, i’ve been a part of this journey and tbh, it’s gonna stay with me for life. the emotions packed into this song are overwhelming af whilst still being a celebration of the 7 years bts have been together, and the individual achievements too, of them and also armys? idk it feels very collective ‘us’ vibe and it’s beautiful.

outro: ego - READY, SET AND BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAP OF THE SOUL MAP OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAL THAT’S MY EGOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, this song just slays everything tbh. When it came out i could not stop repeating it for the entire week and i’m still so in love with it. By far one of my favourite solos of the album! it’s so colourful, clever and A DANCE BOP. It’s everything about why i bias jhope and his style is freaking awesome.

okay wow, all done!!!!!

#bts #mots 7 #album review

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miscellanasaurus · 5 years

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MHA 234

Hey again back after the week hiatus and tbh it was nice to just have a week doing literally nothing as much as I love mha and uploading its nice to get a break, also it seems it was golden bingo week over in japan and that's why we had a hiatus , at least according to my (un)reliable sources. will do a double episode upload for vrains next Wednesday but without further ado lets get into the latest chapter.

To start with you have to appreciate horikoshi`s artistic abilty everything about this image is gorgeous the contrast between the cartoony opening and grim reality as well as how redestro`s drawn here his unnerving pinprick eye`s the beautiful attention to detail in his face if I had one nitpick it`s that I`m disappointed his facial markings don't move around similar to rorshachs mask, seeing as he has a rorshach-esq symbol on his face. however taking a moment to stop fanboying all over this panel re-destroy also brings up a point that many analyists point out that everyone`s quirk ties to their character which is a detail I missed on my first read through it also explains the following conversation as well as going to show the extent of re-destro`s analytical abilities.

We also receive a possible forshadowing as Re-Desto questions him about his ideology berating his hollow goal which is why I believe this arc will end with some character development in Tomura`s ideology especially since the destruction of his security blanket,the hand, will force him to grow from his current one of childish destruction the title of the chapter feels like another quiver in my argument "Perception Collapse" of course I could be completely wrong and I wouldn't be to bothered but it feels as if chapter 222 served as a reminder to the audience that shigaraki is still using stains ideology to further his own cause and that at the end of this arc it will evolve once more after all that scene could of easily happened at the end of this arc instead of the beginning all that would need to change is shigaraki proving his worth to both the doctor and gigantomachia.

We also get a quick flashback to Tomura`s relationship with all for one and I love the way horikoshi constantly shifts the way we perceive him the kamino ward arc set him up as a guiding father figure and a detestable manipulator and this arc has done the same I suppose in his own way this is all for one`s compassion its a nice little moment with my now favourite panel of little Tenko.

Cutting back to another flashback this time with Shigaraki`s sister we get confirmation that this is his older sister which is a small shame as I was a fan of the "Yayorozu is a Shimura" theory we also see more insight into there relationship as it seems her father disapproves of her choice to be a housewife a rather menial and unappreciated position which brings up a interesting perspective as earlier chapters had led me to believe his father disapproved of his dream to be a hero the tragic irony of the revelation of shigaraki wanting to be a hero as a child serving well as a foil to midoriya and as a interesting moment for him as a character however judging from this I`d have to say that perhaps the dream of being a hero is forced onto tomura despite what he wants which also serves as a foil to midoriya . also this moment between the two`s rather cute and I like the idea of each of the hands of his relatives holding some emotional weight to them and I hope Horikoshi follows with this theme for his other relatives.

Speaking of other relatives we get this moment with shigaraki`s mum and to be honest I thought that those rings where just bags if anyone has a idea as to what could cause this rings tell me if it turned out shigaraki just had a weird case of pink-eye I`d piss myself ,though perhaps this is the sign of his mutated quirk awakening which would be a cool idea and the most likely option.

Its also this emotional stress that awakens shigaraki`s quirk once more this time he no longer needs all 5 fingers to cause his decay though its substantialy weaker I`d guess ,and hope, that its only that hand which has this ability speaking of which it seems to be the same level as his original decay which really shows as a literal reminder how far he`s grown.i`m not particularly bothered as I liked the slow decay from the earlier part of this manga to be honest I always hoped that shigaraki would get a dark knight moment where he grabs someone's face shattering it against the edge of a table mainly due to how badass it`d look the smaller moments are always something I enjoy more then a large spectacle which is why I`m not to bothered we haven't got a Geten/Dabi scene for about a month.

and despite not liking the particular word choice the translators used as "Its splitting is to close to I`m splitting and as such is kinda dulled by the previous scene with twice ,and as such I`m mentally changing it to I`m breaking its much more in character and has a certain punch to it, the look on his face is also my second favourite panel in this chapter as it gives him a almost inhuman look of dread as well as the look of a rejected creepypasta character which is a bit unfair as he`s the best creepypasta character.

I kinda wish this awakening of quirks was established earlier perhaps a pro hero who had a weak quirk until it awakened or something similar as its hard not to consider this ret-conning quirks though I don't have a problem with it it`d just be nice, also I love the fact that Re-destroy awakened his quirk by burning himself accidently its so anticlimactic and un-shonen that its hilarious I bet shigaraki will have the ability to decay through his toes when he stubs them on a table or steps on a lego brick or something both events are far more traumatic then anything a shonen manga could throw at you.

This ...just this.. its pure badassery when I first saw re-desto`s quirk I wasn't looking forward to the fight that much but that design is pure epicness I`ve got goosebumps while I write this, its also great we get attack names again seeing as the villain`s never give there attacks names I always thought shigaraki`s would be five finger death punch it encapsulates him so well.

We also loss two more members of the hand gang as poor old grampa and grandma are the next to go and to be honest shigaraki did have way to many hands in his design but we also get this beautiful moment with shigaraki as Horikoshi draws some more parallels between him and midoriya and weather or not Horikoshi plays it straight or subverts it this is a brilliant moment.

The chapter then ends on this beutifull dynamic entrance from gigantomachia and jesus just look at how he dwarfs everyone this is a brilliantly climatic ending and I`m glad this chapter didn't come out two weeks earlier as I`d of died from the anticipation

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sundaynightnovels · 5 years

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The Girls Girls Girls Tag

so @cawolters had created her own tag game for international women’s day, which is all sorts of amazing and i’m so glad to have been tagged!!! <3 <3 (edit: also have been tagged by @aslanwrites, so thanks!!) Guide: answer these seven Qs in the voice of your female character(s), and then tag somebody! of course, the three female characters in my wip is Zhen, Yu(f) -- but for this, since it’s pretty obvious it’s the female Yu, i’ll just call her Yu -- and Jia, so i’ll be doing this for them! (btw i found this really difficult to answer because... spoilers??? abound????? but also they might change so i dont really know what to write at some parts?? but okay you know what fine, let’s have some spoilers here) (also note that all of their answers pertain to their pasts / backstories) 1. Who was your mother and what did she teach you?

Zhen: i don’t have a mother. For real, though. Yu: My mother’s harsh, and she’s made me stronger. Jia: my mother’s a strong, tough woman. she’s got to be, to raise a kid on her own.

2. Do you have any sisters (related or not)?

Zhen: yeah, i have a few. they’re all major pains in the asses though Yu: No. Jia: I’ve got a younger sister. We’re pretty independent of one another

3. How has your gender shaped your path in life?

Zhen: I don’t know. the woman who raised me was pretty great, and i never really cared about the other sex too much anyway. like, people tried to bully me sometimes i guess but i never really cared too much about it, they never really affected me. i’ve faced worse anyway. gender doesn’t matter when it comes to that. Yu: i’ve been raised by a very strong, fierce mother, and it has followed me throughout my life. i am not affected by discrimination, or by prejudice. there’s no point in caring about such lesser things in life when there are other more important things to look towards. Jia: yeah. i mean, women aren’t regarded as highly as men are. i’m only in my early-20s and people already nag at me to get married and settle down and like, then what do you want me to do for the rest of my life? take care of kids and clean up after the house? i have loftier aspirations than that. it’s so annoying. they keep yammering on and on , but when it comes to the men, it’s all about getting somewhere with their career. i know it’s stressful either way, but still. maybe i don’t want to get hitched so young, yknow? ah, whatever. you can do something about it only if you actually do something about it.

4. What does the woman you admire look like? Who is she?

Zhen: she is the kindest, most patient woman i’ve ever known. she has a bunch of rowdy kids and -- okay, i can’t say she has never lost her patience, she has a pretty bad temper despite how i’ve described her -- but she’s never lost hope in us, yknow? she’s strong and fierce and full of fight. i couldn’t have asked for a better person in my life.

Yu: she’s strong and capable. no one can ever doubt her capabilities, and around her, i just want to get better myself. i need to match up to her standards, to reach her expectations. i just... can’t.

Jia: well the woman i admire is myself. i mean, why admire someone else when you can just look up to yourself right? who can you be better inspired by than your own creativity and your own mind and your own capabilities? i strive to make myself better and to achieve my goals , and i am constantly inspired by my own improvement and growth. say what you want, but that’s just the truth.

5. Why do you think women are considered the gentler sex?

Zhen: honestly??? i have no clue. haven’t seen that much gentle women in my life. they’re all pretty fierce and kick-ass. i guess it could be through history, yknow, in imperial china the empress just manages the harem and takes care of household duties and makes sure the house is all pretty and in place and presentable while the emperor does all the bigger political and military stuff. you won’t ever see the emperor touching a needle pin, will you, and all the women are the handmaidens and servants and weavers while the men are guards and military officials. i mean, it’s not like men don’t go near all these supposedly dainty stuff, it’s just that it’s made to be the official job of women. personally i’d love to just handle things at home because it’d be too troublesome managing a country’s affairs, but i don’t think that’s because i’m gentle. it’s because i’m lazy as hell and i’m owning it.

Yu: What Zhen said. surprisingly she hasn’t really spouted that much crap in this interview. she’s actually being decent, for once.

Jia: sometimes women are still regarded the gentler sex because we’re still perpetuating it ourselves! you hear women on the streets saying things like, ‘i want to find a rich husband who can take care of me for the rest of my life’ or that ‘i’ll settle down and stop working when i get married’ or having aspirations like ‘having a baby and making a family is my only dream in life’. not that it’s wrong, but it just perpetuates that idea of a woman not taking any action for herself! women are strong, alright? look at zhen’s example of the imperial palace. the concubines and the empress’ entire purpose of being in the harem is to gain the emperor’s affections in order to give him a baby, and that might seem like it’s all, but do you know how difficult life in the palace can be? do you know how strong these women are, emotionally, mentally, physically, to take the toil and stress of constantly being pitted against one another-- even if they’re just fighting for the emperor’s affections? and those shoes!! Have you seen the shoes they have to walk in? and they have to kneel and bow and walk delicately and gracefully in those??? and that hair! do you know how heavy their hair can get --

Zhen: you know, i kinda think you’d make a great concubine or empress in those days Jia: i probably wouldn’t even get past the first stage, i’m too rowdy

Zhen: yea, but if you were born in those times you’d learn to be a little more disciplined and dignified and you’d have kicked so many of those asses there

Yu: ... i thought we were trying to fight for women, not encourage fighting among women

Zhen: i’m just saying, yknow, none of those scheming people would have a chance against jia because she’s the fiercest, most scheming person there is! i don’t know if she’d be able to handle the responsibility of empress though... all that dignity and grace and needing to upkeep appearances...

Jia: yea. i would not want to lead that empress life. that kind of being poised and proper and dignified to upkeep appearances sorta thing is probably more for Yu

Zhen: but Yu won’t be able to take all the scheming. she’d just lock herself in the room to do her work in silence and she won’t even catch a glimpse of the emperor

Yu: ... you know i’m right here, right?

(shoe reference that jia is talking about)

6. What is a piece of your personality that you are proud of?

Zhen: ehhhh.... i don’t know. i can take pretty good care of people, i think. sometimes, when i feel like it. unless it’s too exhausting, then maybe not.

Yu: i think i’m pretty resilient, but i can do better.

Jia: i’m a go-getter. i’m determined, and i’m strong, and i’m hella capable. if i strive for something, you know eventually i’m going to get it.

7. When did you accept your own body and its strengths/weaknesses?

Zhen: well. you just gotta accept that your own body is what helps you breathe and eat and sleep and basically carry you around, yknow? i’ve never really had much problems with my own body, tbh. it serves me well

Yu: sometimes i still think i’m too weak, that my body can withstand more. but sometimes you need more rest in order to go on.

Jia: if i can’t count on myself and my own physical body to do things, then who else can i count on? once you’ve figured that out, it’s pretty easy to accept your own body for what it is.

(some of the questions are not exactly answered because, well... you know)

i guess this is meant to be a tag game so i am tagging @focusdumbass @kidsarentallwrite @kaigods @bookenders @insearchof-solace (only do this once you’ve finished your homework!!)

#like all things out of season #character tag #zhen #jia #yu(f)#international women's day #writeblr #my writing #my OCs #my wip #writers on tumblr #writing tag

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konvenient-pop · 5 years

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Okay, so, here comes an annoying post about me being annoyed

With the topic of Jenny and Kai

To start this off right, I want to begin with by saying this is not a hate post at all. In actuality I am an EXO-L, and particularly a huge fan of Kai/Nini despite this blog not representing that. I have a lot of respect for him as a person first and foremost, as well as in his career as an idol. Although my respect isn't reflected with Jennie personally, as I deliberately refused to hop on the Blackpink bandwagon for the sake of preserving an original opinion after a few years of watching over their comebacks to make the decision of draining my life energy for another group, I still have respect for her as an idol. No matter what I will have at least a basic respect for the people choosing to enter this career, since we all know what that means longterm. Or at least most of us who have made the mistake(?) of spiraling into the darker side of this industry.

But at the risk of sounding pretentious or scaring people for no reason, returning to my original point, I don't know jack shit about Jennie. Well, beside basic surface level information or personality overviews from Weekly Idol or what have you. Again, all surface level. For now I am fine with that, she seems cool and honestly like a genuinely straightforward person in terms of setting up her goals. Or at least that's the picture I've crafted in my head after having listened to her on old G-Draon's tracks, as she was probably offered the oppertunity and had enough sense/drive to take it. So, okay, cool. She's cool, Jongin is Jongin and as a couple they are whatever.

Whatever being cool, cool being something I can go 'Oh?' at with raised eyebrows and move on with my damn life. Or as I failed to name it, basically sonething of minimal interest. Now, let's pause. So, I have no problem with this couple, so why the hell am I even bothering with this post? Well, that's because it's goddamn annoying to see all the 'I came here for JenKai' or otherwise judgmental comments on YouTube. To vent, why the hell can't people just be indifferent to things they have no knowledge over? Like, sure, you know one of the two and can say 'Well he/she is such and such trait, but I don't know about him/her', but why badmouth? This is my problem. This is what annoys me.

As far as I'm concerned at this point there's no point in judging these couples anymore, because again for the nth fucking time we do not actually know these people we dedicate our lives to. Sure, you can claim otherwise since we get years of interviews and yeaes of reality shows and years of behind the scenes videos and what the fuck ever, but let's be serious here. We aren't their friends, we aren't their family. What we get is what they chose to show. Of course most idols tend be genuine in terms of trying to show their honest personality or giving factual information, but at the end of the day it's just a video. One video, one clip, one moment in time that does not dictate their entire personality, struggle, interests, or life. That's something I often see people in this fandom forgetting and honestly at this stage of stanning cancel my subscription if we can't be logical about relationship reveals.

That's not to say most fans haven't been. In fact so far I've seen quite the opposite with mostly support, which is cool and something that I'm not use to but thank the gods for it. But there are still some you know what's here and there. They're really not that bothersome in terms of overall big picture whatever, since they are just words on my computer or phone I can click off of and will likely drown in a sea of support. Still, I just want to vent and ramble and maybe point out something that we all already knew for the sake of a friendly(-ish?) reminder. And for that to happen, I too will attempt honesty.

Being real, my first reaction was mostly worry and (negitively concentrated) confusion. Worry for fan reaction over actual puppy Nini. Confusion because how the hell did that happen and why would they get together? It took about half the day, but then I finally used my good sense to reroute my thoughts back to that very important fact. I don't know them. As people, or as a couple. I don't know their everday lives. I, nor you reading, have any right to judge if they are good for one another or not. No matter if opposites actually attract or similar people enter similar love, it is not up to me to decide for them based off what I think I know even if I do want them to be together. I have no right, nor actual authority to do so especially being just a fan. All in all, I am not in this relationship. Neither are you and this applies to you and every other fan out there.

So, basically that's just to say people enter relationships at their own will, as their own people most of the time with knowledge of who their partner is as a person, and it's never any of our business beyond the basic level of having an objevtive opinion that shouldn't affect them (*COUGH COUGH* sending hate messages or death threats *COUGH COUGH*) because we are lucky they even decide to share any of this shit with us. Does that make any sense? Don't know, don't care, I refuse to go reread and edit this just to sound nice. Why? Because I'm probably deleting this, as long as I don't forget. Why? Because I honestly just wanted to talk about how annoying it's going to be reading those 'Jennie get your man'/'Jennie's boyfriend this'/'Kai and Jenny that' and etc type comments over the next few months, but this ended up turning into a whole thing.

But yeah, I find that shit annoying. Mostly because it almost belittles idols, degrading them to only face value in a way because they are 'only' recognized for who they date. It is annoying with them and it was annoying with Bora and Feeldog. And I love these people too much to watch that. Though, of course, I know it is not done in offense. People just like couples and are excited love still exists in the world for their precious idols, I know. I get it. I just hate having to look at an idol and think of their current or past significant other. Feels like I'm doing them a disservice, espscially when they started out as just their original selves that I spent YEARS getting to know but suddently I don't feel like I know them anymore as just that. Their pure, individual selves.

I don't know. My bitch ass is dramatic like this and usually I would never speak on this because I want K-pop to just be good fun despite its dark secrets, questionable concepts, and unfavorable features, but sometimes certain shit just gets annoying. And then I feel the need to rant for months before ranting to non K-pop friends or making a whole post no one asked for. In any case, since we're enjoying a rare rant post specifically centered around couples in the industry, might as well give my opinion on the few funny thing that came out of this.

With the outing of Kai's newest relationship, I can finally say seeing my idols date doesn't feel weird anymore. Usually I would get weeks of a weird mourning type feeling, despite knowing and accepting I won't be with my idols romantically. Which, by the way, I actually prefer since I am gross thank you very much. But like, its just a feeling I usually have. Kind of mourning what can't be, kind of fearing how someone knows a part of them I don't. Yeah, I know it is gross and weird, but again to remibd you I spent years draining life energy just to feel like I 'know' and to feel 'close' to these people so logically its the emotional connection (and lowkey emotional dependence), which is why I always feel I can understand when fans say they get sad or cry once idols start marrying or whatever. But, thank the gods, lately said feelings have been coming and going quicker. I assume its due to most of my idols getting older now and my actually wanting them to find love and create their happy ever afters if possible, especially with most of them wanting to get married and actually wanting kids unlike myself.

Like recently, recently for me being years ago sorry, with both UKISS's Dongwo and Eli having to marry in secret and revealing their sons to the world helped really set those new type of support feels in place for me. Going back and knowing who wants what, I now want themselve to achieve these things. Be it love, a family, or simply something new and/or outside of their idol career (quick cringey magical support hwaiting to my not actual husband Bang Yongguk), I want for them to want these things and to continue wanting normal things. Why? Because they are, hopefully you guessed it, normal human beings. Outside of all the glits and glamour of being an idol, representing their home, and trying too damn hard for fans, they are just people.

As it always goes and as cheesy as it probably sounds by now, just people like you and me. People who want things and feel they need to achieve or have certain things to live a fulfilled life or feel accomplished in life before they die. So, yeah, there ya go. My support got some type of Pokemon upgrade ('Idol's Dreams' I chose you?) and I am annoyed because I can't stop my brain from being reminded of other people in the face of my idols. Rip individuality I guess, until that dies down. Anyway, back to your scrolling. I don't know why this ended being so long.

P.S.: As for the rest of those few funny things (1) I am still salty over the treatment and reaction of Baekhyun/Taehyeon and Kai/Krystal by fans (also dramatic and emotionally leave Krystal alone), (2) Hyuna/E'Dawn, despite being great and hopefully a love revolution that will be real I do think they also handled that situation poorly as far as business goes but I do love and support both in case anyone cared, (3) quick claps for the recent emotional growth of K-pop fans tbh as far as relstionships so far, and (4) for whatevet reason I wasn't expecting people to drag my girl Krystal into this. Usually I'm on top of my game with guessing and predicting, but bless her for the next few (hopefully just) weeks. Being the ex is always annoying as fuck.

#i swear i am actually done now #thanks for coming to my ted talk #(ffs i have been waiting to finally have a reason to use that i am lame bye)#normal tags time warning - aka feel free to move on its just the basic tags from here on #friendly reminder #partially important #kai #kim jongin #exo #jenny #(wtf i had to google for her full name sorry reminder i am casual fan but is it not jenny?)#jennie #jennie kim #(do i also type kim jennie...?)#kim jennie #blackpink #(do i add yongguk even tho this isnt at all about him?)

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slrichards · 6 years

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(1/2) i just started my first year at barnard and tbh it's harder than i expected...bc of social media i see everyone already have friend groups and i still feel like i haven't made friends and am feeling lonely, and i’m also realizing i haven't dealt with a lot of emotional baggage from home/high school that i sort of thought would go away,, and i think i had these expectations for college and new york and myself that i haven’t lived up to.. idk it's all making me kinda depressed and withdrawn,

hello I’m so sorry it took me a while to answer this. I hope you are ok!

It’s hard to answer this because I don’t know what kind of emotional baggage you’re talking about, and I think the nature of it could change the way you’re feeling/what I should say a lot.

I know this is the most conventional answer of all time, but seriously…see a therapist. At Barnard. I’m saying this because I didn’t do that for my first two years, and I was soooo fucking overwhelmed by…everything! For a lot of the same reasons you seem to be (not being comfortable with my own feelings/not able to articulate them/simply not desiring to feel anything but absolute happiness with my condition, which I also considered to be the dream, thus repressing any feelings that didn’t fit into that narrative) and basically…feeling those things without being accountable to anyone for two years let a LOT of horrible anxiety and awful habits and self-perceptions build up that were really deleterious to me later on, and I feel like I could’ve prevented them. It may feel more lonely to hear that people feel like this all the time at CU because you still feel so alone, but that does equip the school therapists to deal with this really well. The transfer rate is really high here and there are a lot of people who have to resolve that it’s just not where they want to be. Whether or not that’s you, it’s ok. I won’t say you deserve to be here because no one does and it’s just like, a combination of your hard work and a lot of fortuity that led you here, but you don’t owe anything to the institution. Just because you’re privileged to be here doesn’t mean you have to like it, or like everything about it. If you can, try to be honest with yourself about your actual feelings and not judge yourself/feel guilty for having them. It’ll make you into a better student/citizen of the community, and that’s the goal, right?

I think something that’s also important to remember is that, even though it may not seem like it, college is a really weird and specific experience, so is New York, so is Barnard, etc. etc., and your peers didn’t all like…flawlessly transition, either. Some of them might come from fancy prep school backgrounds that feel just like this, but so many of them come from other countries, from low-income backgrounds, from extremely religious backgrounds, from rural parts of the United States…and feel just as unequipped to be here as you do. When I went to college I didn’t drink, I was like…kind of Christian, I came from a pretty sheltered background, and I had all these views about myself and the world that would change. I threw this (alcohol-less!…I know….) Halloween party my first October and all these people said they’d come but only like…five people came. The point is that…I’m in this radically new place. It’s hard to make friends and have fun when I don’t even know what kind of fun I’m comfortable with having, how I want to spend my time, etc. And ultimately, though this may not be what you want to hear, some level of pain and uncomfortability and loneliness was good for me, because it was the only way I would ever be able to clarify what I wanted and didn’t want out of my social life and my time there. I feel like you’re probably in a similarly nebulous situation. The point being: not knowing what to do is educational as long as you act on it without withdrawing/becoming depressed. Which is why you should please see a therapist so you can make sure you’re accountable to someone.

It’s almost hypocritical of me to say this to you because I have a very very hard time with it myself, but try to treat yourself with compassion. If you find yourself feeling guilty or beating yourself up for feeling a little bit at sea, literally take a piece of paper and write down what you’re feeling on one side (ex: “I’m so stupid for feeling ____ thing), and on the other, come up with a competing, more compassionate statement, like “Of course I feel _____ thing. ______ situation would be hard for anyone to deal with.” You could do it in your head, too, but I don’t find it as helpful. ANYWAY. Everything’s gonna be alright. It’s rough out there, and you have so much time to focus yourself, find out what you like and don’t like about college and the city, about your peers. It’s SO early. Everything will be ok!

If it comforts you at all, despite all the pain I went through there and the myriad of things I didn’t like about it, I loved being at Barnard/Columbia and it made my life so much richer. There’s no place I would have preferred to be, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

(also please feel free to message me again if you want to say anything more specific about your situation! I know it’s been a while..)

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isadorator · 7 years

Text

A Fic Year in Review - 2016

It's that time again~ And I wrote so much this year, holy shit. As usual, any concrit and comments are welcome~~ (as are requests, when open lol)

January

what are THOOOOSE a superhero's holiday

Oh jeez. Both these fics got way more attention than I thought they would. But I keep underestimating the ML fandom tbh. The first was basically me goofing around and I somehow ended up promising to write a sequel since everyone wanted one (which I...still need to do.....). The second was a flag for both my descent into ladrien hell and also a return to my nsfw ways orz;;;;

February

you are gold and silver (1/2)

IT TOOK. SO. L O N G. TO WRITE THIS. Although this fic is firmly in AU territory now thanks to being beautifully jossed by canon, it helped me realize just how much I needed to grow in order to write romantic intimacy in a believable way. So, I made it my goal to work on it until it was up to my own standards.

(I...still need to finish this fic too......)

March

jackady ladrien drabble prompts (1/2):

ribbons

fan merchandise

artistic muse

make-outs

stuck in a small place

rain

smiles

croissants

never have i ever

i want to touch them

jackady ladrien drabble prompts (2/2):

damsel in distress

beauty facial masks

visible marks

ice cream sandwiches

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (1/9):

the 4 times adrien pretended to shower to hide from ladybug (and the 1 time he was actually showering when she calls out his bullshit)

disney

halloween

tried to kiss your lips but i missed

magic

staring into each other’s eyes

Ah, the plan being put into action! With the release of actual ladrien eps, I had the perfect excuse to write romantic scenario after romantic scenario using submitted prompts. Which also meant I accidentally created a secret love affair AU and wrote more smut whoops. Still, they were super fun! I took a break halfway through to write some Inuyasha-inspired marichat that just would not leave me alone (also fun).

(....I promised to write a continuation of the 'never have i ever' prompt, didn't I alrjkdsflaks. AND TANGLED AU SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT)

April

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (2/9):

music

moaning

sweat

bath

they go on a date together

soulmate au

photographs

“i love you. i’m completely and utterly in love with you. please don’t get married.”

the one time ladybug actually catches adrien in the shower

ACTUALLY in the shower

“of all the people i could’ve gotten stuck in an elevator with and it just had to be you.”

mirror

More ladrien prompts/romance practice~ The music prompt is still one the most cracktastic things I've ever written lol. Managed to make two more AUs with this batch that I've already started to expand on: the soulmate AU and the auteur AU. Lastly, in a surprise twist, the fucking elevator prompt managed to gather over 1k in notes. Probably because I ripped off Sailor Moon but. Still.

May

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (3/9):

another shower scene

porn

away from home

“you have mom’s smile.” he said this to ladybug once, but he thinks it again and again and again. but ladybug is better: she is real.

calling bullshit

untitled continuation of a comic by pozolegirl

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (4/9):

under the covers

eyelashes

mega nachos

“i heard that the spots on your bodysuit corresponds to chakra points? so… what happens if i touch this?”

cute nose/forehead kisses

their first time

happiness

“i need you to pretend we’re dating…”

“is there anything you’re not good at?”

More Volpina prompts! Again, I like experimenting with them :D Also wrote a continuation of that Christmas comic because it was just way too cute~~

June

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (1/6):

love poem

awkwardness

games

i can show you the world

first love

everyone can see it

shower scene

jealousy

it’s a trap

insecurities

sins cannot be undone

ladrien june 2016 drabble prompts (2/6):

jealous fangirls/boys

“you have her smile”

gabriel | hawkmoth’s reaction

it’s not you, it’s my enemies

secret dating

window kisses

Oooooh boy. The triple whammy of Ladrien June, Ramadan, and starting my summer job. I was excited to have a month dedicated to just ladrien (as if I hadn't already dedicated most of my year to it lol) but fell behind pretty quickly thanks to my lack of free time. I aim to finish them this year!

And Ramadan. Man. It always sends my mental health straight into the toilet. Not because of the holiday itself, but because of the way my family treats it. Idk. I tried to flush away the bad feelings by punching out 'sins cannot be undone' in one night. And it helped, I suppose. It's definitely the rawest thing I wrote this year and I still have very strong feelings about it.

July

three sentence prompts:

ladynoir, spy au

nino and marinette, karaoke au

ladrien, bodyguard au

ladrien, superman/lois lane au

adrien and tikki, baking au

alix and kim, and the one-time-max-actually-won au

alya and marinette, vigilante au

adrienette, foreign countries

ladynoir, and the elevator game/ritual

Between work and writing various wips that I still haven't posted yet (*coughcoughconjugalvisitcough*), I only posted stuff from this meme. I had fun (the goal) and the adrien&tikki kwamiswap AU one is still my fave |D *slams fists on table* LET ADRIEN BE A BAKER!!!!

August

untitled continuation of a comic by geek-fashionista insomaniac and the chaton pile

UMMMM My summer job ended by this point, so my only excuse for not posting much is it's all tied up in unpublished wips and...I was freaking out about starting school next month for the first time in y e a r s;;; Just some drabbles for the sidekick AU (not mine) and my own, sleep-deprived ideas (that I...still find hilarious alkdjfhalksd I DID NOT EXPECT ANYONE ELSE TO???)

September

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (5/9):

embarrassing hobbies (aka: adrien is secretly a popular ladynoir fanfic writer)

water

mlnsfweek prompts (1/3):

laughter

roleplay

make 'em blush

we've got time

"i can’t believe we survived" sex

wet dreams

virginity

STILL REALLY STRESSED ABOUT SCHOOL, which translated into a lot of writing. Did a couple of Volpina prompts, including time ≠ water. Which. Got way more attention than I expected;;;; And that I...also promised to expand on......;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

And then #mlnsfweek hit and I'm actually really proud of myself for finishing the whole week, even if it was late~ /o/ Did some random scenarios, including some futurefic for the timebreaker AU. I still cackle every time I think of the wet dreams prompt tbh XDDD

October

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (6/9):

inside a video game

horror movies

“who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?!”

aching muscles from running all over the city, and then: "would a massage help?"

chocolate

discovering their sensitive spots

“so close” from enchanted

As usual, more Volpina prompts in between school and wips. Not really much to say except it was around now (or maybe September? My memory is horrible) that I realized I had developed a pretty good grasp on romance and could start working on upping my daily wordcount. I really want the mental stamina to complete a chapter fic one day...

November

mlnsfweek prompts (2/3):

marks

School REALLY started to pick up in difficulty and I signed up for a fic exchange and a fanzine. Despite really wanting to, I didn't have time or energy to do more than one prompt for the #mlnsfweek redux, but I plan to complete it~ I have Ideas.

December

oh, the things i do for you (the bubbler remix)

volpina ladrien drabble prompts (7/9):

bruises and scars

cold hands, warm hearts

I'm never, ever committing to more than one fic deadline near exam time ever again. I nearly died last month as I rushed to complete these fics, my studying, and prep for my vacation that started right after exams (I'm still recovering;;;). The remix is currently the longest fic I've written to date, including my wips! Holy shit!!!

Both were done very last minute, but I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. I tried to finish the last of the Volpina prompts before the end of the year, but alas, time was not on my side. Better luck next year~ :'D

Total Year’s Output: ....58,718 words;;;

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

.......This is almost twice as much as I did last year. I actually passed the NaNoWriMo standard. Oh my god. There is no fucking way I would have predicted this last year. And that's not counting all the wips aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH—

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2016?

Uhhhh, Bustier/Mendeleiev, definitely. Also DjWifi?? I just wasn't into it at all last year, but now I'm rooting for them. Also, I did not expect to write this much smut, but here we are. ALSO MARIE/ADRIEN/MARINETTE AKA THE OT3 AKA LOVE SQUARED (the homestuck in me will never die)

What’s your favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest.

Happy...? Hmmmm....There's stuff that makes me laugh, that I'm proud of...

...I know it's not published yet or even done, but...probably conjugal visit. Not only is it chock full of my favourite type of ladrien, it's...sort of my thesis on emotional intimacy? It's proof of my progress. I look at it and I can feel my determination to grow and to move on from the mental rut I was stuck in for most of my life, that I won't let my past keep my from recognizing my own emotions and learning empathy, not forever.

(Maybe that's pride and contentment and hope more than happiness, but I'll damn well take it)

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

I ALWAYS SAY THIS but...I really want to finish my wips.....and I want to start an actual chaptered fic. Not a one-shot collection or a drabble collection. Long, plotty, gen or romance (or both!!), chapter fic. I want to write something that will keep people up all night, lying to themselves when they say 'just one more chapter'. I think I actually have a shot at completing one now, at my current skill and confidence level |D

#procrastinating on the newest fic with memes #what a why to start the year #isayear #isameme

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