#TAG: FORTUNE COOKIE

[undeadvinyls]

while im taking a break, heres some doodles i was actually able to complete from my miserable sketching session. this is ikura cookie (she/her) and fried shrimp cookie (she/he). they are members of Kraken Fortune (aka calamari's ship name + crew). ikura is the navigator while shrimp is the carpenter of the ship who fixes things + is the last braincell of the crew

#cr: ikura cookie #cr: fried shrimp cookie #cr: kraken fortune crew #<- tag i will use for my pirate cookies #phantoms art #cookie run oc #cookie oc

[legolasghosty]

hi dino bones bestie, hope you’re having a great week!! can i request fluffy prompt 6. “Should I bring you some lunch today?” for willex? also good luck with the school papers!

OKAY HELLO HI I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!!! School was nuts and I had no time and no spoons, but it's spring break now so I have a dash of free time! Here you go, my dino bones bestie! Hope you like it!!!!

Willie closes his office door behind Danny, then lets his head fall forward against the cool surface. They don't regret becoming a therapist, not by a long shot, but sometimes it's just... exhausting. It's exhausting to care so much.

He wishes he could reach inside Danny's head and rewire the little part that makes him do everything in 4s, even just for a day to give the kid a break from his own mind. Or snap his fingers and get the teachers to stop deadnaming Amy. Or just fix any one of so many issues their patients had to deal with every day. But they can't. And some days, it just kills them.

He opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out their phone. Maybe he can catch Alex between recording sessions. Talking with their husband has always been a great way to get Willie out of his head. Even if it's just over text.

Willie - How goes the studio things?

Alex responds in less than a minute, so one of his bandmates must be in the booth at the moment.

Alexander Ortega <3 - Pretty good! Luke and Reggie have only resorted to throwing things at each other once! How are things at the office?

Willie chuckles, the nervous energy in his fingers fading a bit at Alex's lighthearted words.

Willie - Things are going okay here. I'm just tired.

Alexander Ortega <3 - Good tired or bad tired?

Willie - ...sad tired? I just wish there was more I could do to help everybody.

Alexander Ortega <3 - That makes sense. You care about them. Do you want to talk about it?

Willie considers it for a moment. They do want to talk about it. Alex has some kind of listening magic that lets him listen to Willie ramble on for half an hour and somehow get what they were trying to say. (Alex always rolls his eyes when Willie calls it magic, claiming it's just cause they've known each other for so long, but Willie knows the truth.) And that sounds really good right about now.

But Willie has another appointment in half an hour. He can't really fall apart right now, because there won't be the time to pick up the pieces. It will have to wait until after their next 2 appointments. Their afternoon is open, just some paperwork to deal with. And he'll have dinner at home with Alex. They just have to wait a bit.

Willie - I got another appointment soon. But later talking would be great.

Alexander Ortega <3 - Your last one gets out at 2, right? Should I bring you some lunch after that? Or we can go out if you want. With the way Julie and Luke are looking at each other, I'm pretty sure we're going to call it good on the recording soon anyways. Before everyone else in here starts having to play 3rd wheel.

Willie laughs. They can almost picture the heart eyes going between the couple. Julie and Luke always get like that when they're singing together. He has a feeling Alex knew the story would make him laugh.

Willie - YES that would be amazing!!! I love you so much!!! Just pick something up on the way, I don't really care what as long as it has calories.

Alexander Ortega <3 - Yes Ma'am! I love you too, see you at 2 <333

Willie leans back in his chair. They're still exhausted, but it's a bit better now. Alex always manages to do that. Even when the both of them are having a terrible day, just being with Alex makes Willie feel more at ease. It really is like magic. In their personal opinion.

#and then Alex shows up with stupid American Chinese food and like 10 fortune cookies #and they eat on the floor in Willie's office with the window cracked open to let the smell out #and there is lots of talking about serious and not serious stuff #and they definitely feed each other fortune cookie pieces #and Willie feels better #it's not perfect of course #but talking through it with Alex helps a lot #they're in love your honor #also side note Alex definitely took Willie's last name to annoy his parents #like also because he loves the idea of it being immediately obvious that he's Willie's person #but the spiting his parents thing was definitely a vote in its favor #okay I have more thoughts but I've rambled too long so I'll shut up now! #legolas tag #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #willex #jatp #alex mercer #willie jatp #legolas filled prompt

[the-problemo]

can someone verify this translation for me?

#random #idk what to tag this as #text post #translation #fortune cookie #french #francais #ispeaksomefrenchandthisseemshorrible

[depizan]

I was going to make a different post, which I'll make in a second, but as I sat down to post, I opened the fortune cookie that came with my dinner. And it is fractally what the fuck.

"No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he only had good intentions."

That is not a fortune. That's not even advice. Or if it is advice, it's bad or deeply weird advice, since it seems to be suggesting that to be remembered one should have bad intentions. (Is this a Sith fortune cookie?)

It's also wrong.

I am not a Christian, but I've absorbed enough ambient Christianity to know that the entire point of the Good Samaritan is that his actions (and presumably intentions) were good. He's the dude who stopped to help when others didn't.

I looked it up! I'm not wrong! The Good Samaritan does only good! Jesus is using him to teach how to be a neighbor and who is a neighbor!

From Wikipedia:

Jesus answered, "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. By chance a certain priest was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he travelled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the host, and said to him, 'Take care of him. Whatever you spend beyond that, I will repay you when I return.' Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a neighbor to him who fell among the robbers?"

He said, "He who showed mercy on him."

Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."

What part of that involves anything but good intentions on the part of the Samaritan???

This fortune cookie is not only not a fortune, it appears to be prejudiced against Samaritans.

The most generous interpretation of this "fortune" cookie is that it's intended for writers and is a suggestion that characters are more interesting if they're not wholly good. But I'm pretty sure no one is out there making writer specific "fortune" cookies. And even if they were, they'd probably get the Biblical reference right, which this doesn't.

I have a cookie from the twilight zone.

Worse, I ate a cookie from the twilight zone.

#Mac vs fortune cookies #now there's a tag I never thought I'd be writing #Mac vs parables #fortune cookies getting parables wrong #random Christianity #only wrong

[hawnks]

happy lunar new year 🥳✨🐇

#the wheel turns <3 #squawk tag #gonna make some fortune cookies today :> #no one else in my town celebrates so i will party alone 😤 #if you’re reading this i hope this year is kind and gentle to you #and that you can leave behind whatever has been holding you back

[joeyclaire]

fantastic news everyone

#chit chats #i should start a five guys tag purely for the meme #like with the fortune cookie post

[chronicmenippean]

Funniest fortune cookie

#post #fortune cookie #duolingo #idk what else to tag

[dearbisexual]

my fortune cookie says "Keep your idealism practical."

lucky numbers : 2 5 9 19 25 46

#zee.txt #fortune cookie jar #<- gonna use that tag for when i eat fortune cookies :)

[lovestaged]

rules : shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag 10 people.

...ready for it? - taylor swift

siren - taeyeon

therefore i am - billie eilish

i can see you - taylor swift

heaven - ailee

love poem - iu

i don't understand but i luv u - seventeen

the great war - taylor swift

round and round - heize & han suji

rich kids anthem - epik high ft lee hi

tagged by : @aftrhrsss

tagging : @vvfied @varyingly @notfrsale and anyone else who wanna do after seeing this !! (feel free to say i tagged u :> )

#personally i think me getting ready for it as the first song is rather iconic slkdjf #i have no comments about my music taste except i like catchy and emo :D #we went from badass to emo and ended with a chill fun jam #ooc // i'm a walking fortune cookie #tagged

[excelsior9173]

i don’t know what sort of karma is coming back for me rn but i got a fortune cookie at supper and i think it threatened me???

hello?? why me??? what did i do??

what a weird night

#ramble on exie #fortune cookie #idek how to tag this #this is so weird lol

[blog-by-kij]

Look, idk how important fortune cookies necessarily are in the grand scheme of everything. But. Things need to be said.

You know, it’s a good cookie, tastes good, fun shape, and fun thing inside. Good design all the way around and they have great personalities. I’m sure I’ve heard some people say that the messages inside are bad or whatever, but I personally don’t think they’re meant to be taken that seriously. Idk, to me whatever message inside is a nice thing to read usually. Sometimes they read more like poetry pieces and a lot of the times, they’re common sense things, neither of which are bad to hear too much. You can’t fit an essay in there, so don’t try. So I don’t really see why we need to be mad at them for being simplistic in bakery or literature. Simplistic is not bad in some cases, especially not in the case of the fortune cookie, where simplicity may be one of its greatest features. Simple packaging, simple but good cookie, simple but fun paper message. Simplicity can be a very strong and important feature, and no I did not hear this from a fortune cookie. And you know, the small rectangle of paper is taking on at least two huge tasks: imparting important knowledge and teaching you to speak a whole language. Give the cookie and it’s innards some slack, it’s not easy.

But for whatever criticism, you know at the end of it all there’s nothing really, inherently wrong with two lines, at most, of small poetry, common sense adages, or odd phrases, numbers, and an attempt to teach you a word or phrase from a language.

It’s like getting a letter from a friend. It’s like finding a message in a bottle. I’ll be honest. I have a jar of almost every fortune from a fortune cookie I’ve ever received. I collect the ones from my family too since they don’t care to keep them. I enjoy this jar of paper. I would say fortune cookies are always a pleasant experience. 10/10

Except this time.

You know if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it right? It’s already perfect, why mess with it? I just said that simplicity is one of its greatest features. The cookie is self reflective! Every adage that applies to you applies to it too! Why don’t you learn some self reflection too! Why are you trying to complicate perfectly fine things??? Why are you deliberately choosing to taint what’s good!? FORTUNE COOKIES ARE NOT YOUR TROJAN HORSES!!!!!!

On this great day today I ordered some food from a great local Chinese restaurant. The cookies were there. All is good. At the end of lunch, I pick one at random. Food tastes great. Cookie tastes great. Today is great.

Poker bitcoin ad.

Billboard signs up and down the yahoo roadways, ad and then ad and then ad on YouTube, pop up this pop up that on every website and I know “get adblocker”. I do have that. It doesn’t always work! Hey do you want to sign in? Are you sure? Are you sure you’re sure? You want to sign in? It doesn’t matter if adblock works sometimes, it’s the principle that’s the point! And I can’t adblock my eyeballs!

I know nothing about which company or companies actually makes the fortune cookies. But god. Can we have one thing without an ad. Can we have one simple thing that exists to simply be pleasant and provide a good experience without it being an ad?!? This particular cookie was good. It’s innards were foul. Was it worth it? Did they pay you good bitcoin poker money to put bitcoin poker ad inside??? Is it worth it???

The words were NOT poetry, NOT a nice adage, those words did NOT exist to be fun for the sake of fun. Those words existed for no other reason than to be an ADVERTISING SLOGAN for poker bitcoin. I never asked. Fuck you. I was neutral before, now I hate poker and bitcoin.

This was not a letter from a friend. It is not a message in a bottle. It a piece of junk mail in my mailbox! It is a call in my inbox about my car’s extended warranty!! IT IS UNBLOCKABLE SPAM!

So I finish eating the cookie. It was good. But I’m feeling odd and I’m like. Never seen this before. My whole jar of fortunes, with fortunes from me and my friends and family. Never seen that before. Feeling a bit down now. Feeling lied to. Feeling like a datapoint. Feeling like a demographic that a company wants. So I google it, and realize oh.

????????????

Do we have to?? Just because online ads have changed doesn’t meant let’s litter the whole world offline with ads now??? Tiny billboard?? I hate big billboard, why would I like tiny billboard? Why just because it’s tiny and inside my food?? Am I nuts??

I, as a consumer, can tell you that I get things or services because I need or want them. I seek out product first, because I need or want it, then maybe I see ads because I’m shopping and then ad tracking happens. I DO NOT get product because product saught out me first! It doesn’t work like that!!

@companies who make fortune cookies, please for the love of god dont put ads in the fortune cookie, I’m not anti-company, I’m sure we can reason through this.

I’d rather an ad be on the outside packaging if needed, why it’s insides? Please what are you doing to the good heart of the fortune cookie?? Why??? Why does anyone think this is good???

#fortune cookie #commentary #ads #advertising #advertisment #i’m sad #ad campaign #ad fatugue #send help #bitcoin #food #idk what to tag this as #poker #really have no idea what tags to use #I’m not anti-ad even is the thing #just stop trying to shove ads up my ass all the time #they’ll staple ads to the inside of you eyelids if they could #adblock

[bornsexyesterday]

💌

i like your art style!!!! I should go thru your art blog again :3 it makes me think of like fabric dolls and has cozy undertones

#ask tag #friend tag #🥠<complimentary fortune cookie

[stupidscav]

ok but look at this fortune cookie. I don't really believe in these things but how the fuck did it hit me in the gut twice

bro. rain world and then my best friend. and I just sent her a cat picture yesterday. what the fuck

#HUH??? #HOW???? #uhm. what do i tag #fortune cookie #yeah thats good enough

[ofbirds]

spent the entire morning reading random comic panels and i have only one thing to say: i love dick grayson

#ooc: i'm a walking fortune cookie #that tag is simply bc i saw dick saying it klsdjf it's so funny to me

[shoeistars]

— NO PHOTOS ! pt. 1

༺ feat. isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, nagi

༺ outline. where the boys keep their slutty polas of you <3

༺ w. pro!players, 18+ content, minors dni, photos/polas, fem!reader, read at your own discretion as I don’t do individual tagging for element of surprise <3

༺ pt. 2 (reo, barou, rin, sae, shidou)

— ISAGI ! on the back of his phone

Oh, he’s obsessed with this one polaroid you let him take, his cock slotted between your pretty tits. Your nails sparkled in the photo due to the flash, acrylics all shiny as you held your breasts together to keep him nice and snug

That night was one where he had earned himself a big win, the celebration you gave him was timeless. Your face was all sticky, smeared in pearly cum and runny spit, little bubbles all around the corner of your mouth

Clear case and all, everyone can get a good look at his favorite girl, see just how much of a cockslut she was with a fat dick between her tits and a pearly smile on her face

— BACHIRA ! shoebox

As deranged as Bachira is, he likes to keep you for his eyes only. That being said, the Nike shoebox that’s stored under his bed is full of filth, softcore porn, downright sin

Pictures of your leaking cunt just pumping cream all over the base of his thick cock, pictures of your fucked out face all flushed and dazed. Constant memories that he happens to keep ahold of for lonely nights

There’s enough to nearly fill up the big black box that once held his soccer cleats, so full that the lid can’t even fit on properly to do its job. It’s a tradition for him to snap a shot of you when he’s got you cockdrunk, after all

— CHIGIRI ! trendy altoids wallet box

Did we expect anything else from our artsy princess? He follows trends and those metal altoid mint boxes aren’t an exception, he carries it around with him at all times, decorated to perfection

He’s got tons of miscellaneous shit in there, ranging from a mini bottle of fragrance, a roll of tums, a fortune slip from the fortune cookies the two of you got at the local chinese restaurant in your area

Oh, but his favorite item is taped at the top of the box, sealed in place with a hello kitty sticker. A polaroid of you with his cock down your throat, taking it so deep that you can see the outline in your esophagus. He just so happens to be pressing a palm flat against, Chigiri was real proud of you that night

— KUNIGAMI ! scrapbook

A man of class, really. He’d hate to see all of those precious photos of his princess getting damaged or scratched, his best bet was getting a plain book to store each pola in their own plastic slots

They’re even organized, ranging from you sucking his cock, to your back turned to him as he’s plowing your guts from behind, to you on your knees with glossy nut covering every goddamn inch of your body

It’s his prized possession, stuffed in his bookshelf next to all of his old soccer books and manga. A good flip through is enough to make him chub up in his joggers

— NAGI ! playstation

That playstation was damn expensive, he’d be a fucking fool to not add a breathtaking picture of you bouncing on his dick like it’s your lifeline. It’s taped with washi tape, front and center for him to look at anytime he’s within reach of his console

You’re purely glowing in the photo, the sheen of sweat he got you worked up in making your skin glisten like a goddess. The flash managed to catch the details of his veined up arm as he wrapped a huge hand around your throat

He’s obsessed with the expression on your face too, brows furrowed and jaw slacked with a fat glob of spit dripping past your lips like a hungry dog. His girl was a whore for big dick, a fact that made him smirk lazily when it crossed his mind

#bllk smut #blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #isagi x reader #isagi smut #bachira x reader #bachira smut #chigiri x reader #chigiri smut #kunigami x reader #kunigami smut #nagi x reader #nagi smut

[whxtedreams]

Cookies as Payment

Inspired by:

i'd be lying if i said  you make me speechless the truth is you make my tongue so weak it forgets  what language to speak in  - by rupi kaur (milk and honey - page 61)

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: neighbour!joel x reader

Tags: no outbreak, fluff, baking, kissing, first kiss (with Joel), just wanna rip my heart out kind of fluff.

part two: eyes on me darlin’

Notes

little thank you to @janaispunk for tagging me in the pinterest moodboard game and therefore making me sit on pinterest for an hour looking at cookies to bake and then write this. Thinking of making this a small series. Just small scenes losely based around rupi kaur poety as I read through their books.

You didn’t expect it. Truth be told, you’re positive he didn’t plan it either. There’s so much you didn’t expect to happen between you and your neighbour, and knowing how soft his lips are was definitely not on your bingo card.   

The house smells divine, a tantalising blend of vanilla and chocolate filling the air, the sweet scent mixing with the smooth jazz playing from the record player. The atmosphere is cosy and welcoming, blending all the perfect ingredients for an afternoon with Joel as he works outside on another one of your projects.

He walks through the kitchen door, his nose leading him to you while you pull the slightly browned cookies from the oven. Your back is to him as you place the tray on the counter to continue cooking as they cool.

“They smell amazing.” Joel hums as he reaches over you for one. 

“They’re not ready yet, they’re still cooking as they cool.” You swat his hand away with the oven mitt, scolding him for almost touching them.

“But they smell too good.” 

You softly shove him as his hand reaches for the cookies again. You turn to face him then, arms crossed over your chest as you lean against the counter. His wired headphones dangle over his shoulders, blending into his plain white tee, his jacket discarded in the early afternoon from the Texas heat.

“I could smell ‘em from all the way outside, got me droolin’ out there.” He huffs a soft laugh as he brings his hands up in false defence, moving back from the cookies. “I’ve been tellin’ ya to start sellin’ them, make a fortune.” He points at you then before pushing himself to sit on the unused side of the counter. 

You open your mouth to say something but shrug instead, your hands focusing on the small fabric strands at your sleeves. He’s mentioned this a few times, every time he tries something you cook he ends up showering you with compliments. It’s sweet, how much he likes your baking and cooking and you have considered selling what you make but the idea terrifies you. Having someone pay for what you make, you’d rather just gift them to friends and family.

The first time you cooked for him, he almost begged you to help him cook for Sarah’s birthday the following week. You didn’t believe him when he told you he was a terrible cook. He ended up cooking for you that night to prove you wrong and after he made you spaghetti, you thought it would be better if he just stuck to prepping while you did the rest of the work for Sarah’s birthday dinner. You didn’t think someone could mess up spaghetti that badly, you were proven very wrong.

It’s been a few months since you moved in next door to Joel and it took him no longer than a week to start offering help in renovating. Took two weeks before he started coming over without the excuse of helping out and just wanting to hang out. 

It’s been nice, the constant company that doesn’t feel like you’re suffocating your own social battery. It’s the easy, effortless conversations that instead fill your social battery instead of draining it like others tend to do. There have been nights where nothing is said for hours, each just bathing in each other's company as you each do your own little hobbies, not demanding attention. 

There’s been times where you’re so stuck in your book you forget Joel is sitting across the room, tools in his hands as he carves away at another design. It’s not until he walks over to show you that you get the fright of your life, forgetting that you’re not alone.  

You fall into another easy conversation as Joel impatiently waits for the cookies to be ready. He updates you on the bench he’s building for your patio, and you get lost in how passionate he becomes when he talks about his job. His hands start moving the more he talks, the corner of his mouth twitching as he explains how he overcame something when it wasn’t quite working the way he wanted it to. 

You could listen to him for hours. You have listened to him for hours. 

You offered to pay him of course, but he said a batch of cookies was more than enough payment.

You make him coffee as he talks, already knowing how he likes it due to the amount of times he’s ended up over at your house in the mornings while his daughter Sarah had a house full of teenage girls over. He’d stumble over half awake and plant his face on the counter as he waits for the coffee to brew, his hair a mess and clothes crumbled. Hard to sleep when they stay up all night fuckin’ laughin and playing games. As much as he complains about it, you know he loves that his daughter ended up with a nice group of friends, even if they keep him up all night. 

You pour his coffee and he takes it as he mentions he’s almost finished outside. He’s rambling now and you’re half listening as you place a few cookies on a plate. His eyes light up and he shuts up as you turn back around with the cookies. This time you don’t swat his hand away as he takes one. 

His eyes close as he takes a bite and you smile, knowing that you made him happy. “So fuckin good.” he mumbles with a mouth full. 

You’re standing in front of him when he opens his eyes, and you can’t seem to read his face as you smile up at him. His eyes seep into you and it lingers on your skin as his eyes flicker down to your lips. The room goes quiet besides the music in the background. 

And then he puts his coffee down along with the cookie, his hands reaching for the sleeves of your dress. Your heart is in your throat by the time he pulls you between his thighs, one hand on your wrist while the other rests at the back of your neck. 

Your smile is gone, eyes wide as his own burn into yours. Then his hand on your neck ever so slowly pulls you in, giving you time to move away. You don’t. 

The first press of his lips on yours steals the air from your lungs and leaves you completely breathless, completely entranced by the sensation of his touch. Your muscles loosen, your mind clears, and any sense of tension in your body disappears. You feel like putty in his hands, every ounce of your trust and affection poured into this single moment. He could do anything he wishes, and you would simply allow it. 

His lips are soft and comforting, the stubble a welcomed contrast as they move over yours again and again. There's a sweet and sensual feeling in the air, the connection between you both being amplified with every kiss.     

His hand trails up the back of your neck and into your hair, his fingers lacing themselves through the strands and pulling a deep sigh from you. The tender, intimate touch is causing you to melt, your body and mind slowly responding to his touch. The feel of his hand in your hair is both soothing and stimulating, drawing out a shiver from you.

He pulls away all too soon, leaving you wanting more. He holds you close, his warm breath fanning over your face as he looks into your eyes. You can see the smile slowly settling on his face as he sees your gaze, the longer he looks down at you the more his smile seems to grow. 

“I think you taste better.” He confesses in a whisper, his hand leaves your wrist and settles at the small of your back. 

You try to speak, but the words keep failing to escape your lips. You want to say so much, but there are so many thoughts and feelings racing through your mind that you can't translate them into words. It makes your tongue tired as it struggles to say how you feel, as if your feelings have completely filled your brain and left it with nothing left to speak.

At your lack of response, Joel's smile widens and his lips move down to kiss you once again, this time with even more tenderness and affection. The touch of his lips on yours is soft and gentle, sending an intoxicating sense of joy and comfort that sweeps through you. As his lips move over yours, brushing over them in a sweet and sensual way, you can feel yourself falling further into his arms.

And you think that maybe, you like the taste of your cookies better on his lips as he kisses you. The lingering flavours of vanilla and chocolate seem to blend perfectly with his mouth, as if designed to perfectly complement each other.

#pedro pascal #joel miller #the last of us #joel tlou #joel fanfic #tlou #tlou joel #tlou fanfiction #joel x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader