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#Swap Vents
colorfulpaintspills · 6 months
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Just an early morning vent. Ik I don't usually do these but I feel like I need to get my feelings out. Just a warning...it kinda gets rough...you're basically about to see how I see myself./srs
Feel free to ignore, I don't mind ^^/gen
I just woke up. It's currently 6 in the morning. And somehow I still feel awful.
I don't. Feel like I belong here. I feel like I shouldn't be here.
All I seem to do is make people upset and I'm scared that it'll make them hate me or drive them Away from me.
Is that my only purpose here? To make my own friends feel like shit??? To be upset by their "friend"?
Am I even a good friend if all I seem to do is say things and end up making them upset/angry one way or another?
Am I just...a toxic person?
Maybe they were right. I probably am a toxic person. A toxic person who should just. Hide away and never be seen again. I would be doing everyone a favor at this point.
Me leaving Tumblr, Discord and Twitter would probably be the best thing to happen right about now.
They would probably be happier without me. Everyone would.
Maybe I'm just a terrible, awful human being...and I never fucking realize it until it's too late and I end up hurting someone.
How do I stop being like this. How do I stop hurting others..?
I hate this. I genuinely Hate this.
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carouselunique · 1 month
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Good question! Especially since these two are the only Mane Six who would largely have a similar dynamic to canon because they knew each other as kids.
Fluttershy felt bad for Rainbow Dash at first, though Dash never took the prestigious job of Chief Weathermare to Ponyville seriously it seemed to upset her to lose her position and have to go back to being a regular weather worker.
It didn’t affect Rainbow Dash’s quality of life or anything, it was more of a pride wounded situation. It might’ve been unimportant in the face of constantly practicing to be a Wonderbolt, but being replaced and demoted means she’s not the best - she didn’t take this job seriously until she lost it. Fluttershy knows that being the best at what she does means a lot to Rainbow and was always willing to listen to Rainbow Dash vent.
… Which is when she started to wonder to herself “… Hey, Rainbow, do you fancy your replacement just a little bit?”
Even if she doesn’t, and Fluttershy goes back and forth on whether she thinks the vitriol is homoerotic or just normal exaggerated RD shit talk, Fluttershy finds it amusing that Rainbow Dash has all this smoke for just a nice girl. Sunny Rays just exists and Rainbow Dash has to talk to Fluttershy about all the aggravating shit she does like ‘Say good morning’, ‘literally just do her job’ and ‘keeps adjusting her dumb hat’
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druidshollow · 4 months
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mmm this is so messy im sorry. ive been feeling kinda not nice about some uhhhh stuff and im taking it out on space lol
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Death's Embrace
The Thirteenth Prime was never meant to remain on the mortal plane. His work remained in the space between the living realm and the one after. He was to ferry sparks to their destinations, be it to their frames or back to the Allspark where they might find rest. This was his design, and he never rushed the children of Primus to come to him. They would all meet him eventually.
This is what he believed, and so he never tampered... that was until the chosen Primes began to fall.
(Simply put: Thirteen/Optimus is literally death and has to go be a normal mech for a while to figure scrap out)
━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙
He hadn't known what his purpose was at first. He fought the Unmaker alongside his kin and watched them all in mixed love and a degree of apathy. He didn't have a form like theirs, his was nothing but energy barley contained within a shell, and in all honesty, he had no issues with his form. To his knowledge he had no power, no gift like his siblings, and for a time this was acceptable to him.
Then Solus fell and as if a switch had been flipped, he found his design.
His frame changed and shifted, the bindings he hadn't known tied him the mortal realm snapping all at once. Then as he felt the void become accessible to him, he took Solus's spark and he walked with her, leading her along a path he didn't know he knew until she stood before the Allspark. He hardly knew what he was doing as he guided her there, but it felt right and he found himself with a sense of purpose.
When he returned back to the mortal plane, his frame rematerialized and he found his brethren engaged in battle. Where before he might have intervened, now that he knew his purpose, he did not. He watched and offered advice, but he let events play out however Primus wished them to. All his previous opinions and ties fell away and he devoted himself to his task, eventually leading Liege Maximo to the Allspark as well. His brother fought him all the way, but within the void the Thirteenth had as much power as Prima, if not more so. The void between the living realm and the Allspark was his domain, those who walked it were under his dominion.
In the end he watched several of his brothers offer themselves to the well, to which he did not move. He was not needed, for Primus accepted them without his aid. Megatronus was exiled and others fled to the stars, leaving only Primus, Nexus, and Alpha Trion behind. The Thirteenth did nothing save nod to them and wave in farewell before he turned to his new role, allowing his body to fall away so that he might walk the void, watching the world but not interacting with it. That was his reality and he felt more at home in the space between the stars than he ever did walking Cybertron's ground in the closest thing he had to a physical frame. He was the guardian of the fallen, their guide back to Primus, and it was a role he took with joy.
As time passed, Thirteen felt nothing but near parental love for the little children of Primus that emerged from the well that sprang from Solus's spilt energon. He admired their initial purity and accepted the little ones who perished too soon with a loving embrace. His spark sang with sorrow when the little ones came to him, often in tears and confused. However he was always gentle with them, shifting his form slightly to be more appealing and carrying them to the Allspark while singing a soothing song from the age of Primes. The little ones needed him most and he never held anything against them, for they were more pure and innocent than any other.
Older ones came to him with time. They were different, more mature, and with so many more attachments. They were more difficult to guide, often fighting against him in their desire to linger. However Thirteen loved their uniqueness and seeing their experiences as he led them home, sometimes leading him to allow them to walk the world as a specter for a time. Sometimes he spoke with them by taking on voices they knew, other times he merely extended a servo and guided them quietly all while singing his song. He cared not for their actions in life, only that they lived and learned. He washed their pains away and brought them back to Primus, uncaring of who they were in life so long as they did not break the natural laws or turn to the Unmaker.
Thirteen did not weep when the children came to him, nor was he angry when they fought against him, desperate to avoid his embrace for but a moment longer. No, he adored their struggles and their achievements and left most ample time to escape the death that loomed above them. All the children would come to him eventually, there was no need to rush them. Let them live, let them learn, and let them fight for their future. As children of Primus, they had much to do and so many possible roads ahead of them. Thirteen wanted them to live out their lives to the fullest, although he would not turn them away if they came to him sooner than he would have liked.
Sweet little children, his pride and joy. He loved them dearly and always watched on fondly when the most beaten down rose up to become something greater.
He only began to grow concerned when the number of children coming to him increased exponentially with the arrival of others from the stars, Quintessons they called themselves. So many children fell to lack of energon, to injury, to abuse. Thirteen was well aware that some of the children were not kind to their kin, but this was a whole other level of brutality. The children were being changed, he sensed it when they began returning to him and took longer and longer to know who he was.
Even still he did not act. The children would resolve this with the help of Thirteen's fellow Primes and with the aid of Primus's chosen champion. That was the way it always was and that was the way it was supposed to be.
In a way Thirteen was right. A champion was chosen, Sentinel Prime, and he led the children out of the control of the invaders from the stars. He freed them, and after guiding a worrying amount of children to the Allspark, the children stopped coming in such droves for a time. Thirteen was relieved... and then he watched as things grew to be far worse than anything the Quintessons had done.
The Quintessons abused and killed, altering the nature of the children for their own selfish gain. But the mech who called himself Prime did the same and delved further and further into dark territory with experiments, the caste system, and the way he threw lives away in the arenas and the mines. And that for the first time led Thirteen to be enraged. Invaders were not expected to feel love or compassion for those who walked the surface of Cybertron, but an actual child of Primus inflicting that same pain upon his kin? That made Thirteen seethe. He couldn't sit idly by, he couldn't watch it all silently, not when none seemed to be acting.
His kin in the realm of the Primes were not pleased with his deviation, but they allowed it since he couldn't linger for long anyway.
As such Thirteen made a choice he was not at all fond of. For the first time since those early years where he fought alongside his kin, he took on a physical form, at least as much as he could considering his near non-existent tie to the living realm. It was not at all "normal". He had seen plenty of memories and children, but he had never had to recreate what made them so distinctly Cybertronian. His limbs were too long, his denta too sharp, his frame gangly and uneven in places, and his spark chamber partially exposed. It was not what he intended, much less to manifest out in the wilds. Thankfully Alpha Trion seemed to sense his formation and came to collect him, taking him back to the archives and assisting Thirteen in learning how to be like the children he cared for so dearly.
Thirteen stayed with his brother, learning slowly how to be "normal" while he searched for someone capable enough to stop all the death and needless suffering. He was forced to release his form every now and then to guide the sparks that built up back to the Allspark, but most of his time he spent searching. He cared for nothing else, only taking on a name and working in the archives to try and learn how to best approach the situation.
He was largely left alone as most could not sense him. He faded like a shadow, present physically but not projecting the same aura that indicated that he was alive. At most he was asked curt questions before being allowed to continue his work... then he met Ratchet.
Ratchet: Hey! Can you help me find a text on T-cog functionality?
Thirteen: ... Yes.
Ratchet: You don't sound very confident.
Thirteen: You want the text? Follow. I will bring you to it.
Ratchet: Alright. What's your designation if you don't mind me asking? I haven't seen you around here before.
Thirteen: I was granted the designation Orion Pax.
Ratchet: An odd way of saying it, but its nice to meet you Orion.
Thirteen: ... Likewise.
He helped Ratchet and went back to his work of searching without much thought given. Sometimes mecha saw him, and while odd, it happened enough to not be startling. Ratchet was just another mech who would quickly forget him. At least that is what he thought up until Ratchet came back requesting aid again... and again... and again. It kept happening, with Ratchet returning to the archives for new texts and always going to Thirteen specifically.
Before long Ratchet started coming to the archives just to talk to him and all that Thirteen could do was fumble. He was not used to such things and often slipped up while trying to talk with the strange medic who kept tailing him. Often he struggled to speak in a manner that was not fanciful or grim. He was used to having to console and guide sparks, not speak with them on casual terms. There were several instances where he straight up referred to Ratchet as "child" and "young one". The medic laughed at such mistakes and rapidly began worming his way into Thirteen's life in a way he hadn't thought possible.
Thirteen had always been set apart, not truly connected to his siblings or the children of Primus. As such having Ratchet talk with him, get to know him, and introduce him to the living realm was... refreshing. Thirteen only barely noticed when he began seeing himself as the mech that he claimed to be. He was Orion Pax, if only in the living realm. His form even adapted to match that mental shift, with his plating smoothing, his limbs becoming more proportional, and his overall appearance heightening into something that he quickly found that normal mecha saw as pleasing. Even when he shed his mortal frame to do his work, bits and pieces carried over with his form of pure energy shifting to take on characteristics of his identity as Orion Pax.
His search continued, but his focus wavered as he started to connect to mecha in the living realm aside from Ratchet. He found himself getting along with Jazz and learning how to express himself. He came to enjoy the company of his fellow archivists, chatting with them more and more often. He began to enjoy going out to see the sights of the world he had watched over for so long, even smiling when never before had he ever felt the need to do so.
He felt... alive. But evidently his kin saw fit to remind him of the fact that his focus was to lie elsewhere. It was nothing more than a quick warning, but it was enough for Orion to begin letting go of his physical form more often to clear his helm. He couldn't be getting attached, he was to be neutral... and yet after a particularly long stint of him being absent in the living realm, leading to Ratchet literally leading an investigation to find him... he gave up on that front.
Ratchet: ORION!
Orion: Ratchet, my apologies.
Ratchet: DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS!?!
Orion: No, but I can imagine such an emotional response is not comfortable.
Ratchet: You-! ... You are so dumb sometimes.
Ratchet was usually not a very touchy mech, but after Orion's return he wrapped him up in a hug so tight Orion wondered if he was going to snap. Oddly enough, he didn't hate the touch and even leaned into it, enjoying the sensation of aliveness that he usually kept clear of. Ratchet didn't know it and Orion refused to acknowledge it, but after that interaction the embodiment of death was willing to bend his own rules a degree to protect the medic.
Then Megatronus got involved and similarly gained the favor of death incarnate. To Orion he was the perfect mech to fulfill the mission he had originally come to search for a mech worthy of undertaking. When he first met with Megatronus his only intention was to direct the mech toward the path of changing things for the better. Sentinel may have perished and been ferried long ago, but the council remained. Then he began to speak with the gladiator, developing a fondness for the intelligence of the mech before him.
Orion Pax was death, he was supposed to be neutral, and yet Ratchet and Megatronus gained his favor. Orion was awkward, cold, and didn't present very naturally, but for whatever reason his two companions stuck to him like glue. Whatever they did, they dragged him along, a fact that swiftly gained him more associates in Soundwave, Prowl (due to an accidental arrest), and even Senator Shockwave. Orion hadn't expected this, but as Megatronus worked to fulfill the mission of freeing the children of Primus, Orion couldn't find it in himself to dislike the situation.
He was attached, he knew his kin would not be pleased. But Primus, he couldn't help it. He even found himself using his power to aid his newfound attachments as much as he could while still playing within the rules. No one said he couldn't shed his frame to scout and then return with information cryptically. Not a spark said he couldn't use his deathly aura to frighten threats or call upon the chill of death to settle into the frames of aggressors as a silent threat. He wasn't playing favorites, he was just keeping Megatronus safe so that he could complete the mission and perhaps even claim the Matrix.
Only once did he allow anger to bubble within him and lead him to warp his form into something eldritch to fight off an enemy. He did it for the mission, most certainly not because he didn't want to see Megatronus and Ratchet hurt.
Death didn't play favorites... at least that is what he told himself.
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d11tse · 7 months
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OK this was meant to just be a vent doodle but i put a weird amount of effort into it and i also like how ink came out sooo here you go. :)
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oifaaa · 1 year
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I agree, Cass and dick should be swapped for one simple reason. Imagine Dick Graysom just standing at the end of a hall, silhouetted by the window behind him, lit by the glow of the moon. He stares you down for about 10 seconds and you feel like a Predator is sizing you up. Then he starts to run at you.
On the other hand, everyone gets whiplash everytime Dick starts chatting in Cass's body. They are not used to lots of words coming out of that face.
See you get it also I think it'd be funny if Cass just instinctively was just doing a wee bit of ballet dancing and instantly broke one of Dicks feet because she forgot Dicks not built for ballet
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warrior-of-waistbands · 4 months
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practice
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zytes · 1 year
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tooth ache
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mokeonn · 6 months
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I think the frustrating thing about Spotify recommendations is sometimes it really does introduce me to lots of cool Indie Bands that I really vibe with and allow me to try some new stuff and sometimes it keeps telling me that I need to Listen to Mother Mother (I have not listened to Mother Mother ever and at this point I never will because it is a pride thing.)
Or a random unfunny tiktok joke song from 3 years ago/ a viral YouTube song from over a decade ago.
#simon says#will probably delete this later#but yeah my recommendations are all mother mother and my spotify weekly is a mix between sweet ass new bands and unfunny bad joke songs#my spotify weekly has Cherry Bomb by the Runaways which is a good recommendation and then the Creative Song from don't hug me im scared#which is a bad recommendation to be clear#i know I have a couple of odd songs from things like shows or cartoon bumpers in my playlist (i got whats new scooby doo on there)#but that doesn't mean that I need to be recommended fuckin Death By Glamour??#like there's no videogame soundtracks in my playlist why the fuck is that there#If I wanna listen to Undertale music I would just listen to the vinyls I own!!#anyways this is just a vent against spotify#my weekly seems to have a LOT more indie stuff so imma check it out real fast#i want to discover more music because I do eventually want to just swap to mp3s and an mp3 player instead of spotify#that is one thing I like about Spotify the most is that it helps me find more bands that I like#but I could probably find stuff via looking up youtube playlists as well#so it's not worth paying for anymore#I asked for an mp3 player for Christmas so hopefully I get one and I can just start using that instead#i miss my mp3 these last 7 years without it have sucked I miss my designated music device#anyways dont have to worry about going ad free if you just have the digital files on your computer and put them directly in a player#😎👍
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somehhuuuhh · 5 months
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rosemary-bells · 10 months
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i’ve always wondered why there weren’t many role reversal aus for ranwan and honestly. i can say that after about three days of writing.
i finally have an answer.
they r like literally impossible to write.
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colorfulpaintspills · 6 months
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Guess who's mom might get rid of their family cable because it's too high?
Yep. Mine./neg
I'll be fine, I'll just use my mother's hotspot like I use to if it ever comes to that
Guess it's back to watching dvds again/neg
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naomiknight-17 · 2 months
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Maybe gargle my cock and balls
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grmpgm · 11 months
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started thinking about @rockthesham’s ninja swap party au and then i couldn’t stop thinking about it
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qprstobin · 1 year
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the stobin bathroom scene is literally sacred to me and the scoops troop dynamic is <3 I complain endlessly about how the soviet storyline was implemented but the character side of things is perfect to me...adding in yet another character is so not fun for me bc they are not adding anything particularly interesting usually just sexual tension with Steve and it's usually undermining the dynamics I do care about..ppl should consider adding Eddie to like . j/ncy s3 scenes instead
GODS SAME like... fighting russians under the mall is so incredibly stupid but i love the scoops troop scenes and dynamics SO MUCH. and yeah like whenever people add another character they always want them to get captured with steve and robin (or instead of robin which like i said in my tags.... n o).
like ig there are ways you could add another person if you keep them with erica and dustin (ive done it twice for specific aus that arent published yet) but like not only does it fuck with the stobin dynamic if you have the extra person captured with stobin, but also.... each of them have a door what are you expecting a third person to do?? it makes more sense for if there is a third teen/adult for them to stay and "protect" the kids anyway like you dont need to give them torture trauma too.
its funny bc i really do love the like, actual mall aspects of eddie working at a music store and becoming friends with them/flirting with steve, but i dont need him to then join the scoops troop when the upside down shit comes knocking. i swear people love to use eddie to screw up the stobin dynamic. (another pet peeve is every s3 au where for some reason? robin and eddie are already best friends? and like gang up on steve? like just bc they're queer does not automatically mean they are going to be bffs. its pretty significant to robins character that she also seems to be kind of a loner just like steve.)
and honestly YEAH theres literally three other plotlines going on that you can add characters like eddie or others too? have them get chased and traumatized thru the hospital. have them trying to corral five 14 year olds while they try to capture and then escape a possessed billy hargrove. i think it would be very funny to throw someone in with the jopper group and have them have to fifth wheel jopper and the murray/alexei duos.
hell, make up a hellfire member who has been flayed and that eddie is trying to figure out why theyre acting so weird, and have him follow them to starcourt or st! like some of those people just fucking walked away in the middle of convos during that one scene dfifjgsdigs there are so many fun things people could do to add characters to the group and yall wanna mess with the scoops troop dynamic?
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witheredoffherwitch · 2 months
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hey y'all... suggest me some good lippies for olive undertones 😭
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