#Roy and Jamie just make me long winded

[roykentschesthair]

Roy loves to hold hands

Absolutely adores it

It makes him feel close to his partner, let’s him feel connected and soothes his protective instincts when out amongst crowds.

It’s not about whether his partner needs that protection, Roy just needs to provide it and being allowed to hold their hand lets him keep them close and move them when necessary.

Keeley had understood intrinsically what his holding his hand out meant, they hadn’t even needed a conversation about it, she’d just taken his hand or his arm, or both, and stayed close.

He has to chase Jamie anywhere they go

Not just because of his knee, but because Jamie is a butterfly. Socially and in his flitting rapid movements as his mind leaps from one thought to another

Amsterdam had given him a taste, but they’d just been friends then, and barely at that, now, as boyfriends, (they’re keeping it quiet for now, though all the important people know) he’s chasing Jamie so much he debates getting him a leash for outside the bedroom

He can recognize that holding hands in public isn’t keeping anything quiet, but he longs for the feeling of Jamie’s fingers slotted with his, the warmth of his body against his side as they walk and Jamie chatters about whatever that days hyperfixation is.

So he starts holding his hand out. Quietly, never remarking on it, or demanding anything, just waiting to see what Jamie will do.

It takes a few days before Jamie starts handing him things, a flower, his ticket for the movie, and on one memorable occasion a wad of cash to pay for dinner

They’d genuinely fought about that one, Roy is a provider at heart, and he always pays. Always.

Then slowly, carefully, Jamie starts to inch closer when they’re out.

Lingers at Roy’s side a little longer, and then a little longer than that.

He naturally moves to the interior side of the sidewalk now, let’s Roy open doors, pull out chairs, and Roy just steadily holds out his hand, waiting.

Jamie brushes their pinkies together, links them for a moment that nearly stops Roy’s heart before he’s distracted by a window display and then off rambling about a topic Roy didn’t catch, feeling like all his blood rushed to that one finger.

Jamie is never shy when they’re alone, or amongst the team, but out in public, out amongst strangers, he’s skittish.

Roy understands and it’s still infuriating, he’s not as chill about keeping their relationship “quiet” as he once thought

He’s proud of Jamie, that’s his lad, and he wants people to know that they’re together, that Jamie is not in fact up for a quick tumble, and will never be again.

(That ring in his sock drawer feels like a physical weight sometimes, but it’s too soon, he’s going to do this right)

But he’s trying not to pressure, not to move on his own timeline and run over Jamie’s.

So he just holds out his hand and (not so) patiently waits.

It’s after a match, they’d been nearly beaten off the field, pulled a win by the skin of their teeth and they’re all stiff and exhausted as they make their way home.

The crowds are still thick, Jamie still had his muddy kit on, got caught up with Beard and Rojas and just laughingly said he’d shower at home.

Roy is a few steps ahead of him, even though they’re going to the same place, and on a whim holds his hand out behind him.

Jamie locks onto his hand like Mjolnir to Thor, and their fingers lock together with an almost audible click, Roy’s heart nearly leaps from his chest, and Jamie uses the leverage to pull himself to Roy’s side, holding his hand and leaning into him, sweaty and muddy and grinning, and Roy can see the flashes of cameras and the click of phones and he can’t care, because Jamie is holding his hand and grinning up at him like he set the sun, and Roy is absolutely going to break out the bedroom leash when they get home.

Maybe even that ring in his drawer.

#this is so long #and rambling #and again not at all what I set out to post #Roy and Jamie just make me long winded #especially Roy #and yea there’s a bedroom leash #puppy sub Jamie is practically canon #Roy likes to hold hands and dominate his boyfriend until he cries what about it #roy kent #ted lasso #jamie tartt #royjamie #roy x jamie #they’re in love your honor #jamie x roy

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! I’ve got a request that I’ve been thinking of for a while (but if you don’t vibe with it, that’s cool). I’m imagining something after the S1 Richmond vs Man City game, where Jamie goes to reader for comfort, both because his dad sucks (obviously) but also because like? Jamie’s football hero got badly injured and will probably never play again because he tackled Jamie? I just feel like Jamie would be upset and think Roy’s retirement is partially his fault.

😎

you don’t want to know me

It’s fucking late. 

It’s fucking late and you’re still awake.

It’s always like this after a Man City game, and it’s been like this since they signed Jamie Tartt. You’ve been friends for ages, always running in the same circles. Your friendship of proximity has now turned into a real friendship, although you hadn’t seen him since he was loaned to Richmond. 

You’d been at the game, because you never missed a match. Man City was your team ever since you moved to Manchester and you have to say, it was weird to see Jamie. You were proud of him for making the extra pass because it was different than how he had been playing, and a brilliant move to rely on his team. The only thing you didn’t like was thinking about why Jamie played selfishly. You just hope James Tartt, Sr. is far, far away from Manchester, from the match, and from Jamie. 

You settle into your bed with the lights dimmed, ready for a long, sleepless night. 

You’ve been staring at the plant on your dresser for so long that it’s starting to look distorted. You sigh and think about Jamie again. A branch taps your window and you groan. Fucking wind.

You roll over and it taps again with more insistence. It sounds like little rocks. 

You remember you don’t have a tree outside your window and you bolt up. You flip off the lights and pull the curtains back to reveal Jamie Tartt throwing stones at the glass like you’re teenagers again. You turn the light back on and give him a one second motion.

You hurry downstairs, turning the light on in the living room as you go, and unlock your front door. Jamie stands in the porch light, so different from the last time you saw him. He says, “Can I come in?” so you move aside.

He’s just standing awkwardly in your kitchen, still in his Man City tracksuit. His hair is slicked down and you have the urge to run your fingers through it to muss it a little. Make him look how he used to.

“D’you- d’you want something to eat?” you ask and he’s a little taken aback. You wonder who’s been taking care of him, if anyone. He gives you a little half nod, and you wordlessly point to the couch. He sits there stiffly as you pull out a plate and some leftovers, and put them in the microwave. You silently hand the plate to Jamie and sit on the couch next to him.

He’s not in a talking mood and neither are you, necessarily, but you’re absolutely sure he hasn’t actually talked to anyone in ages. Georgie has stopped mentioning him so much so you figure he must not be calling her anymore. That’s why you bite the bullet and say, “It was your dad, wasn’t it?”

Jamie nods.

“And seeing Roy Kent injured, too, right?”

He nods again and puts down the fork.

“I mean, he’s a dick and all, and he fucking hates me, but his poster was on my wall. He was my hero. And I fucking- I fucking injured him. It was my fault. He was chasing me down and he tackled, and broke his fuckin’ knee. And then me dad-” Jamie can’t speak for a minute. “He was just there, and he said a bunch of shit and pushed me around. Felt like a kid again.”

It’s funny. This isn’t the first time Jamie’s showed up like this, but it’s the first time in his Premier League career. You wonder why he chose now.

You choose silence, taking the plate from him and setting it on the coffee table. You unzip his jacket and help him shrug it off, then give into the urge to mess up his hair. You move your hands slowly toward his head and he flinches the tiniest bit. His hair is crunchy and he needs a shower, but you think he needs human contact first.

There’s nothing you can say to make this better, so you choose to say something that won’t make it worse. 

“Do you want to spend the night?”

Jamie looks up at you with that same surprised look, breaking your heart a little.

“You have to shower first,” you warn. “I just washed my sheets.”

Jamie nods. 

“C’mon,” you say, standing up with his hand in yours. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

Jamie leaves his jacket on the couch as he follows you. You’d sell your soul for this boy, and you think maybe he knows it. You’ve been in love with him for the longest time and sometimes you could almost convince yourself he felt the same way.

You were really convincing in times like these.

“Alright. Here’s the shower, it should have everything you need. Extra towel’s right behind the door.” 

You turn to leave, but Jamie tightens his grip on your hand.

“Stay,” he pleads. “I’m not tryin’ anything, I just hate showering alone. You can sit on the sink for all I care, I just can’t be fucking alone.”

You won’t refuse him. You nod and he slips behind the shower curtain, throwing his clothes over the top and onto the floor.

He’s not in there long and doesn’t say much, just asks you to throw a towel over.

You go to your room to give him some privacy and sit on the bed until Jamie appears in your doorway. He’s in his Man City track pants and no shirt, damp hair falling in his face. 

You ask, “Do you want the left side?” and Jamie nods, so you move to get under the covers and pat the bed. Jamie slides under the sheets, smelling like lavender. You’d think you would both be stiff and awkward, but you’re not. You’re pulled to each other like magnets, like gravity. That’s why you wrap your arms around each other and thread your legs together. 

“I love you,” Jamie murmurs.

“I know, Jaim,” you whisper.

“No. I mean it. Always meant to say something, but I figured we’d end up together eventually. All the times I showed up at your door, even as kids, I wanted to tell you. I was too fucking scared you didn’t feel the same way, but I don’t give a shit anymore. Life’s short. I need you to know.”

You brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. “You really think I’d let you in my bed if I didn’t love you?”

Jamie snuggles closer to you and you’re going to have a lot of things to talk about. For now, though, you’re going to get some fucking sleep.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[what-gs-watching]

"If that's a joke, I love it. If not, can't wait to unpack that with you later."

So, here’s a thing - winter makes me sad. I mean, it makes a lot of people sad, but also me. When I was younger I used to just cause a whole bunch of drama to get it out of my system but I’m an adult now and I’m still mostly fruitlessly job searching and I can’t really just go around starting fights anymore so I’m just sitting in my ennui, feeling unmoored. 

Which made me realize: I need Ted Lasso. Desperately.

Wherein, a low level American football coach moves to England to coach actual football (aka soccer) and ends up creating something so beautiful it’ll make you laugh and cry until you just can’t anymore.

If you’ve never seen Ted Lasso, first of all - how dare you? And secondly, start it now. Like, literally right now. It’s everything you didn’t know you needed. 

I will admit I didn’t get into it until my husband watched it and encouraged me into it because of my love for Jason Sudeikis. I tend to pick up unnatural obsessions for SNL alumni, I just want all of them to succeed, so I gave in and instantly lost my mind over it. I couldn’t get enough.

During the second season run, I literally had a standing weekly fifteen minute meeting with my engineers to talk about the latest episode and our theories on what would happen next, or what our favorite joke had been. There were MANY heated debates.

Before the third season came out, I made my family binge the first two seasons while we were on vacation. I remember my mom calling me after she and my dad had watched the series finale so we could talk about it - she’d never bought into a show like that before.  

Ted Lasso just brings people together, and I find it absolutely ridiculous that this poignant, wonderful, life affirming show came out of a bit that Sudeikis wrote in 2013 for an NBC Sports commercial. It’s mind boggling. 

You guys know, it’s all about the relationships for me, and that’s the entire show, really. Ted is unrelentingly positive and charming and understanding and the reason he likes coaching is because he wants to help his players be the best versions of themselves and wooooph throughout the show, you get that, for every single character, even Ted himself. It’s about loving each other and loving yourself and also somewhat about football and it’s just so fucking…delightful. 

And I’m obsessed with all of the different dynamics. Ted and Beard, and Roy and Ted and Beard, and Roy and Jamie, and Roy and Keeley, and fucking Keeley and Rebecca! If you need to see a perfect incredible WONDERFUL female friendship, it’s Rebecca and Keeley fucking Jones. Someone needs to write a long-winded essay about these two, because dear lord, I want a best friend like that. Everyone wants a best friend like that. Like, I just can’t with all of the messy, hilarious, beautiful relationships. I want to be part of them all.

Also,  it’s funny. Like, properly funny. Laugh-out-loud-no-matter-how-many-times-you’ve-seen-it funny. The bits are layered. And you’ll get something different out of them every single time. Nuance, gang. It’s all so nuanced. 

The first season is absolutely perfect. You get to know all of the characters and you get a general sense of what’s up. Everyone is kind of charming and you’re immediately annoyed with Rebecca and charmed by Roy even though he tries his best to be threatening, and you think that Nathan is adorable and you’re pulled into Ted’s unwavering enthusiasm and Beard’s silliness indulgence and straight-man stoicism and Keeley’s adorableness. And it’s WONDERFUL! I’ve seen season one at least four or five times, likely more. It’s everything.

There are so many good moments. At one point, Ted says he’s having salads for lunch with Higgins who is communications director or something and as Ted goes to leave Higgins says “Cesar you later!” and Ted BURSTS back in through the door and just yells “YES!” and it’s hilarious every time. 

When Ted and Beard realize that Roy is a bristling motherfucker who wants to hate everything, Ted says something like “wait til we win him over”, with Beard announcing “He’s. Going to be. Furious.” (And he was.)

It’s the little things in the first season that really endear you to Ted Lasso. It just wraps you up and makes you feel warm and appreciated, like there are people out there that are pure and good and they can make you feel pure and good too. 

And then you get into season two and you start to see behind the curtain. Ted’s really not okay with his divorce (which, I still think is because his wife couldn’t deal with his optimism? Which is so insane to me and I can’t even, I never forgave her like, what the fuck is that) and in general and they tackle a lot of mental health issues and social issues and it’s a bit hard to get through.

But at the same time, season two has some of my favorite bits? Which is confusing??! The scene where Sam asks Isaac for a haircut - everyone gets a single cut from the captain once a season - and the entire team watches and whoops and freaks out and it’s like, an intricate performance and everyone is just so fucking thrilled to be witnessing it? It’s weirdly beautiful. 

Ted and Beard teaching the entire team the choreography to NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye so they can send off the team shrink in a ridiculous way? Incredible. When they finally get the dance right, they lose their fucking minds. It’s so JOYFUL.

The episode where Roy finally realizes he wants to join the coaching staff and he makes a dramatic trek to the stadium while “She’s a Rainbow” blares? The theme of that one was believing in rom-communism - to rouse the team Ted tells them “Fairy tales do not start nor do they end in the dark forest” and yo that’s so TRUE - and when Roy finally showed up on the pitch he said, “You had me at ‘coach’.” I cry every single time I see that one. I literally watched it twice in a week when getting the family into the show and I cried both times. Hard. 

I think part of the reason this show is so resonating is because dark shit happens, but a lot of really sweet things happen too. There’s an episode wherein Rebecca’s dad dies and they’re all attending the funeral but it still is somehow achingly funny too, even though you learn some terrible things about Ted and Rebecca both in that one. They really ride the line of darkness and light and it’s messy and that’s life.

And then season three is hard.  So much happens. And you know that you’re barreling toward the finale. There’s only 34 episodes in the entire series and it’s not nearly enough but they do try to make the most of their time. 

Watching the finale season in real time was really interesting though, I’ll say, because the fandom was so nuts at the time. So many random theories and outrage over some of the story points. And at the time I did kind of agree, but seeing it all back to back now in my first true binge, it all makes sense. Everyone had their own journey and some of them were ridiculous and maybe we just wanted things to stay the same because that’s how we fell in love with the characters but that’s not the point, gang. Shit is forever changing.

I’ll never get over the moment when Roy finally relents to the diamond dogs. Or Jamie teaching him how to ride a fucking bike in Amsterdam. Or when the team comes together to help Sam put his restaurant back together after it’s completely vandalized. Or Beard explaining to Nate his background with Ted, and offering his forgiveness to Nate as a way to honor everything Ted has done. Or Rebecca calling Roy out on his shit, saying that instead of helping himself he’d rather “eat shit soup and then complain about the portions”. 

There are so many little beautiful pieces. So many things that will pull at your heart strings and make you realize things that maybe have been niggling around in your brain but refusing to come forward because you were scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of them. Ted Lasso helps you be less scared of everything, because it encourages you to accept yourself as you are.

In the final episode, Higgins says “Human beings are never gonna be perfect. The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can. And if you keep on doing that, you'll always be moving towards better.” 

And that’s what all of us need to understand. This show will ingrain that thought into you, and it’ll buoy you, and you won’t even realize it. 

So maybe now I’m feeling less ennui. Because I’m still laughing at the hijinx and basking in the wholesomeness and the amazingly perfect relationships  and the belief. Ted Lasso makes you fucking believe.

#what g's watching #ted lasso #coach beard #rebecca welton #roy kent #keeley jones #comfort show #jamie tartt #be a goldfish

[sortofanobsession]

Roy/Jaime idea: Roy eats something and has a severe allergic reaction to it and Jaime is the one to run and get an epi-pen to save his life, and looks after Roy once he comes out of hospital. Jaime stays with Roy, and winds up never leaving.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. It's been a bad week for me trying to focus. I've only had one allergic reaction to medication as a toddler. I don't remember it. I wasn't there for my nephew's two anaphylaxis events. So I'm just going off what little I do know. Not sure if this is even a real allergy. I have external allergies, like contact allergies and a horrible reaction to bug bites, but that's not the same. I just imagine what that would be like in your throat and oh yikes.

Not beta read

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Word Count: 6k+

Paring: Roy x Jamie (Romantic), Roy x Phoebe (familial/platonic, protective), Jamie x Phoebe (platonic, protective) Roy x AFC Richmond Himbos (platonic)

Content warning: Allergic Reactions, anaphylaxis, Hospitals, needles, epipens, medical emergencies, ptsd, trauma reactions

The press will make it seem like I ended your career and then you

Roy does not like people knowing about his life. He likes keeping it that way. 

In a rare week where they end up having an extra day off after one of their games gets moved for a different game to be televised. The team only has a half day of training, and they meet up in the afternoon. Roy picks up Phoebe from school and joins them later in the day outside an unusual cafe. One of the guys hands them a smoothie, some fruity concoction a few of them insists Phoebe will like. And it's fine until Roy tells Phoebe to get her bag. When Phoebe looks up at him, she shouts. Jamie and Isaac are on their feet as she scrambles to get her bag. 

"What was in that?!" Phoebe asks. 

"Fruits and veggies," Someone says. And Jamie gets a good look at Roy and curses. She adds, "He needs to lie down." Jamie and Isaac do as she says and get him flat on the ground. 

"Phoe," Jamie starts to ask if she has an epipen but she ignores him. 

"What kind?" Phoebe shouts. “He has allergies.”

"Call an ambulance," Isaac shouts. 

"Colin already did," Jan Maas says. "He is talking to them now."

Phoebe panics as she looks up at Jamie. “I can’t find it.”

“Does he have one?” Jamie tamps down his inner panic and focuses on what needs to be done.

“Glovebox,” Phoebe says.

“Sorry, mate,” Jamie mutters as he awkwardly gets Roy’s keys out of his pocket and sprints to the G Wagon. He makes a bit of a mess, but he finds an epipen. He rushes back and drops down beside Roy. With little work, he preps the pen and slams it into Roy’s thigh. “You can kick my arse if it bruises when you aren’t half dead,” Jamie says as he looks Roy over. He looked awful. His face was swollen, and his color was off. “But you don’t get to fucking die on me, mate. The press will make it seem like I ended your career and then you. Those pricks love making drama out of shit.” He isn’t sure if he’s talking to keep Roy focused on him being annoying or to make himself feel better. 

“Someone see if anyone has another,” Colin says. “Lady says it might not work.”

“Bruv,” Isaac smacks Colin and gestures to where Phoebe stares at him with wide eyes. 

“But I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Colin adds.

“He’s a fighter, Phoe,” Jamie says, trying to get her attention off of Colin. “Now, what’s he allergic to?” 

Phoebe looks up at Jamie. "He can't have some leafy veggies like he can't use whistles," she tells him. "That's what mum says, at least." 

"I got it, Phoe," Jamie says before focusing back on Roy. "Rough day, coach?" Roy glares at him. "When this is over, I'm going to ask your sister what else you haven't told the team that might actually kill you. So far, it's whistles and kale or some shit because clearly you can't be trusted to tell me." Roy growls, but it comes out half wheezed. Jamie takes Roy's hand and puts his fingers on his wrist. His pulse is fast and all over the place, but it's not terrible. "Just try and breathe, ya prick. Don’t want to traumatize the kid any more than she already is.” 

Colin comes over to hand Jamie his phone, but Jamie just hands it to Phoebe. "Tell them what you told me." It's good for her to have a task to keep her focused. And she knows more than most of them do with this. Jamie can tell the swelling must ease some because Roy looks a tiny bit better. Jamie takes off his jacket and puts it under Roy's head. "There nice and comfy now, innit?" Roy glares at him again, but Jamie takes his hand again. His grip shifts to hold it in one hand, and still feel his pulse. His other hand goes into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Jamie unlocks it and hands it to Colin. "Do me a favor and call Phoebe's mum. She's in there as Roy Kent's fit sister." 

That earns a grunt from Roy. Jamie smirks. "I know. You'll cut my eyes out." He squeezes Roy's hand. "You can yell at me when you can breathe properly again."

"Fuck you," Roy manages now that the epinephrine is working. Jamie grins and carefully sets Roy’s hand down. 

"Good news, lads, he lives," Jamie says, standing up. They cheer. "Still going to the A&E," Jamie insists.

Phoebe gives Colin back his phone and moves to sit beside her uncle. She takes the hand that Jamie doesn't keep using to check his pulse and holds it tight. Jamie leaves for a second and comes back.

"I'm okay, kid," Roy says. She hums but doesn't say anything. 

"How ya doing, coach?" Jamie asks. 

“You lock my fucking car?” Roy asks.

Jamie chuckles. “Yes, I locked your fucking car. Now answer my question.”

"I'm fine," Roy insists. Jamie huffs another laugh. He uses a bandana to wipe the sweat off Roy's now less pale face. Roy grimaces. 

"It's clean. I swear," Jamie says. "Can't have big bad Roy Kent looking sweaty, might make some poor medic swoon."

"You're fucked in the head, Tartt," Roy says.

"You don't know half of it," Jamie grins.

"I'm fucking glad for that," Roy grumbles. 

"Oh, trust me, you'd enjoy some of it," Jamie adds with a wink. And Roy glares at him. 

"He seems fine to me," Richard laughs from where he and Colin stand behind Jamie. 

"Yeah, but unless one of you has another epipen, then we better hope that the ambulance doesn't take forever," Jamie says. 

"I told you, I'm fine," Roy attempts to get up, but Jamie and Phoebe stop him.

"Sorry, Coach," Jamie says. "Doc's orders."

When the paramedics get there, Roy cooperates because Phoebe looks like if he doesn't, she might cry from where she holds onto Jamie's hand with both of hers. Jamie is knelt down to her level and clearly trying to comfort her. The medics let Jamie go with them to look after Phoebe. 

Phoebe stays with Jamie in the waiting room when they reach the hospital. 

"You good, Phoebs?" Jamie asks when she sits down. 

"Yeah," She says.

"You sure?" He asks again. "Cause you don't have to be. Sure as hell scared me."

"You didn't seem scared," Phoebe says. 

"Got years of practice looking tough on the outside," Jamie says.

"Uncle Roy says it's because your dad is a…well," she pauses.

"Bad word, innit?" Jamie grins. 

"It is," she admits.

"Well, my old man is a bad word," Jamie says.

"Mine was too, so we have that in common," she states. 

"We do," Jamie says as he throws his arm around her shoulder and pulls her into his side. "But you're a way better kid than I was. 'Lot smarter than I was. But we don't need bad dads with your Uncle Roy around."

"He's going to be okay, right?" She asks.

"Your mum's here, 'course he'll be okay. Be back to his gloomy and grumpy self in no time. A quid says he's already trying to convince them to let him go because he's fine, and your mum will have to put him in his place."

"You're on because he's not going to argue if mum is working because she is already busy, and she won't put up with nonsense." 

"Oh, fair point. Guess we'll see."

Roy might yell at Jamie for gambling with his 8-year-old niece, but Jamie will take that lecture. She isn't as worried or upset as she had been when they got there. So he doesn't regret it. They argue over what the waiting room TV should be changed to, despite neither of them having control over what is on. They both send Keeley texts from Jamie's phone, and they end up looking at magazines and saying who on the team would wear the outfits in the photos and ads. 

"Mum!" Phoebe runs over and hugs her mother when she approaches them.

"How is he, doc?" Jamie asks. 

"On the mend," she assures him. "Should be able to go home soon. But someone will need to look after him. You up for that?"

"Me?" Jamie asks. He figured Keeley would be the one to do it. 

"I think you can handle it," she says with a sly smile. "And I know you'll actually fight him if he tries to do something he shouldn't. He is not the easiest of patients."

"Giving the nurses trouble?" Jamie asks, glancing at Phoebe.

"Ha, no, not in my hospital. He knows better," She says.

"That's fair," Jamie says. He digs a coin out of his pocket and hands it to Phoebe. Phoebe's mum shakes her head. "You guys can head back and see him now." She has a nurse take them to Roy's room.

"Uncle Roy!" Phoebe hurries over to him when they get there. 

"Hey, kid," Roy says. 

"How do you feel?" She asks. 

"Like I don't need to be here anymore. I'm sure there's someone out there that could use this bed more than me."

"You just want to get out of here before the press finds out you're here," Jamie says as he sits in the chair by the bed.

"Probably already on the way if Jamie Tartt was loitering around the waiting area," Roy states.

"Hey, someone had to keep Phoebe from getting bored," Jamie says.

"Fuck off. I'm sure she was the one entertaining you. You can't sit still for five minutes. You can barely sit like a fucking adult." 

"Wow, rude, and two quid on your tab, for shame, Uncle Roy," Jamie grins.

"Fucking nightmare," Roy mutters. "Anyone tell you when I could fucking leave?" 

"Mum says soon, but you have to go home with Jamie," Phoebe says.

"Fuck no," Roy says. 

"Uncle Roy," Phoebe says and gives him a look she probably learned from her mum. Jamie hid his smile behind a drink he had gotten when he had gotten Phoebe food since she didn't actually get to eat at the cafe. He always found it insanely adorable how much sway she had over her uncle. And honestly, it was something Jamie could just sit all day and watch. Because getting to spend a day with his childhood hero and someone he cared for was just something special to Jamie. To see such an honest and genuine version of Roy fucking Kent. Times like these he secretly enjoyed. Although he could have done without the gut-wrenching fear of losing Roy to something as stupid as a fucking smoothie. If Roy didn’t start carrying an epipen on him at all times, Jamie would because they had in a very bad spot if Jamie hadn’t found the one in the glove box. 

Jamie listened to Roy and his niece argue. 

"What do you think, Jamie?” Phoebe says.

"I'm pretty sure my coach yells at me if I ignore my doctor's orders," Jamie points out, making direct eye contact with Roy. "And that coach is usually you."

Roy groans. "Fucking, fine." 

They settle in and watch some cartoons Phoebe picks on Roy's phone while Jamie just scrolls through his. He texts the team to let them know Roy is fine. And after a couple of hours, they get to leave. Jamie insists Phoebe come with them for the night to “help”. He'd left both his and Roy’s keys with the team. Isaac said they’d get Jamie’s car back to Nelson Road, but they’d drop Roy’s at the hospital so they had a ride home. Isaac assured him Colin wasn’t allowed to drive either of them. Jamie loves his teammates, and he lets them know how thankful he is in texts.

Roy is exhausted and feels like shit, but he is happy to be home. Even if Jamie was now in his home. Roy unceremoniously drops down on the sofa. Phoebe is quick to sit beside him, and he smiles when she snuggles into his side. They had a fucking terrifying day, and the look of absolute fear that Phoebe had during the entire incident was burned into his retinas. It would probably haunt his fucking dreams.  

“Here,” Jamie says, handing Roy a glass of water and the meds Roy's sister insisted he takes when he gets home. Roy’s neck and throat fucking hurt as he looks up at Jamie. 

“Thanks,” Roy says as he takes them. Jamie just nods and goes to sit in an armchair. Roy shakes his head as Jamie tucks one leg up under him. He really couldn’t sit like a normal person, could he? At least the striker had taken his shoes off. But Roy didn’t really mind. Jamie had saved his life and taken care of Phoebe. Jamie could fucking key his car, and Roy would probably let him, today at least. Jamie pulls out his phone and starts typing away at it. After a few minutes, he looks up at the TV and then at the pair on the sofa. Phoebe had turned some kid show on that Roy’s tired brain couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. “You guys hungry?” Jamie asks. 

Roy doesn’t exactly feel like eating. But he hadn’t eaten shit at the hospital. 

“You eat?” Roy asks Phoebe.

“Some,” Phoebe says. Roy looks at Jamie. 

“She wasn’t exactly hungry, but I did feed her,” Jamie says. He gets up and hands Roy his phone. It had a soup and sandwich place they often got delivered to Nelson Road pulled up. “Your sister says you can’t have much, nothing pointy or crispy, but mines is already in. Add whatever.” Jamie heads back towards Roy’s kitchen. Roy could remember a time that having Jamie Tartt doing anything in his house would have annoyed him, but honestly, he was glad Jamie was there. Roy’s too fucking tired to think about much. He decides to heed his sister’s warning and gets a soup he doesn’t hate. He lets Phoebe pick what she wants before ordering it. He’ll find out how much he spent on Phoebe earlier and pay Jamie back later. When Jamie is gone for a few minutes, Roy considers getting up to see what he is doing, but Jamie returns and hands him a mug of tea. 

“Figured you probably don’t keep whatever you’re allergic to in the house, so it was safe to make this. Might help your throat,” Jamie says. “Or make it worse, I’m no expert.” He hands a mug to Phoebe, who thanks him. Roy looks down and can tell that Jamie made her one of the fruity herbal teas that he keeps mostly for Phoebe, and that makes Roy pause. Because Jamie clearly has thought about a lot of details, Roy didn’t expect him to. He hadn’t asked for tea, but Jamie’s right. It might help. He knows Phoebe shouldn’t have caffeine this late in the day, especially after all the chaos of the afternoon. Her bedtime was only an hour away. Jamie had obviously considered that. And Roy has never been so glad to have Jamie around. Ever. Roy takes a drink and relaxes because whatever Jamie adds to it does actually help. He could fucking hug the man if he wasn’t so fucking knackered. And that was fucking weird. He fucking wanted to hug Jamie Tartt. Because he can remember the feeling of Jamie’s hand in his. It had been an awkward hold because Jamie had his fingers on his pulse point, but it had been more comforting than it should have been to him. 

Jamie doesn't let him do shit. Doesn't even let him answer the door when the food is delivered. Jamie has Phoebe make sure of it, and it suddenly makes sense why he insists she joins them. Jamie knew Roy wouldn't make too big a fuss if she was there. She had been through enough for one day. 

And Roy knows how that feels because Jamie may not have looked panicked while Roy was struggling to breathe. Roy could tell. Jamie’s eyes had been wide and filled with concern. The way Jamie’s hands had gripped him tight. It screamed, 'Don't leave me.'

After Phoebe goes to sleep, Jamie sits on the other end of the sofa and sighs. 

“You good?” Roy asks.

Jamie pulls a leg up on the couch and angles himself more towards Roy. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but fuck you for not actually having that stupid epipen on you. Because fucking hell, mate.” Jamie runs a hand through his hair. “That can’t happen again. Was fucking terrifying.”

“Not exactly a fucking walk in the park for me either,” Roy says.

“I get that, but if you don’t start carrying one, then I will, because yeah, fuck that. Not doing that again.”

“You’re serious?” Roy stares at him. 

“Fuck yes,” Jamie says, leaning forward. “I meant it. You don’t get to die on me.”

“Because the press will blame you,” Roy remembers.  

“No…because…well, forget it,” Jamie sighs. “It’s late, and you should probably get some sleep.”

“What were you going to say?” Roy was surprised. Jamie usually isn’t one to hold back when it’s just the two of them. 

“Because believe it or not, I do care about you,” Jamie admits. “Now go the fuck to bed. Because you're going to fucking need it. And so do I because I already know the team’s going to annoy you if you’re knackered. You’ll call drills and ‘m not doing those fucking knackered.”

Roy nods and says, “Fair play.” 

They say goodnight. 

Roy wakes up to the smell of fresh coffee and leaves his room to find Jamie and Phoebe making breakfast. Roy stops and takes in the scene in front of him. Jamie is making eggs, and Phoebe is buttered toast. Jamie had said something funny because Phoebe is laughing, and Jamie looked proud of himself. Roy gets a sudden feeling of want. And he isn’t exactly sure what that means. Obviously, coffee and food that wasn’t fucking liquid. But that wasn’t the kind of want this was. He wanted this to be a regular thing. To spend time like this. Jamie and Phoebe got on like a house of fire. And that made him insufferably endearing. Because Phoebe liking Jamie means a lot more to him than Roy even thought possible. And Jamie likes when people are happy. Roy used to think Jamie just liked the attention because of his ego. But now, Roy knows that it’s not his ego. Jamie is actually a people pleaser. Jamie craves validation. And fuck the way Jamie grins when looks at him like he is actually happy to see Roy. And Jamie said he cared about Roy. Fuck, it is too early for this many feelings. 

"Morning, Coach," Jamie grins. Roy just grunts. "For the man that bangs on my door at 4 a.m. almost every day, you aren't looking much like a morning person." Roy flips him off as he gets coffee, and Jamie laughs. Phoebe giggles too. And Roy gets the strangest feeling in his chest. It stops him in his tracks. The sound of Jamie and Phoebe laughing in Roy's kitchen, even if it is at his expense, gave him fucking butterflies. That was not a feeling Roy was expecting first thing in the fucking morning. He nearly jumps out of his skin when a hand touches his shoulder. He turns, and Jamie looks at him. The jovial mood is gone, replaced by a look of concern on the striker's face. "You good? Jokes aside, you gave everyone a hell of a scare yesterday. If you're not feeling it today, you can-"

"I'm fine, Tartt. Try not to burn my flat down making breakfast," Roy says to redirect the conversation because there was no fucking way he was going to tell Jamie that it felt like his skin was electric where Jamie touched him. Fuck. Roy needed to get his shit together. This was Jamie Tartt—Prince of all pricks. But Jamie had stayed with him since Roy started having trouble breathing. And if he wasn't with Roy, he had been with Phoebe. Never leaving her until she was safe and no longer afraid. Phoebe had told him when Jamie had gone to meet the takeaway delivery driver at the door after they got home that Jamie had kept her busy and made her forget how worried she was when they were waiting at the hospital. That he only left her if he absolutely needed to and always made sure someone on staff knew she was alone so they could at least check on her. Luckily they all knew her mum, so they didn't really mind a few minutes if Jamie needed to make a call or use the loo. But he only did that once or twice because he didn't want to leave her alone in case something happened. And that hit Roy hard. Jamie really did give his all to the people in his life. He cared about Phoebe. He had no obligation to do what he had done, but Jamie didn't seem to hesitate. Just like jamming the needle into Roy's leg. No hesitation because when Jamie Tartt cared, he went fucking hard. Just like on the pitch. Nothing else mattered. He's thinking steps ahead, analyzing threats, and coming up with contingencies. Give that anxious energy of his a task, and it gets done. Not always the conventional way, but it gets done. And his current task was breakfast for the three of them. 

Roy’s sister came round to pick up Phoebe after they ate. 

Jamie cleans up the mess he made for breakfast, despite Roy’s protest. Jamie just shrugs him off, saying it’s just to keep busy before they head out to training. 

Roy drives them both to training.

Roy finds himself watching Jamie more than usual as the team trains. 

Jamie goes over as they break for lunch. 

“I’m fine, Jamie. You don’t have to babysit me anymore,” Roy assures him as they head inside.

“Great, so does that mean you have no interest in getting lunch with me?” Jamie asks as he heads to the locker room. 

Unlike the last couple of meals, Roy does have the ability to say no. To spend time without Jamie, but the more Roy thinks about it, he actually wants to go with Jamie. So Roy follows Jamie. 

“I could eat,” Roy says and is glad he did because Jamie fucking smiles at him. And Roy’s stomach flips when Jamie nods. 

Roy finds that lunch is an easy affair. They get food at the canteen and find a table. It’s nothing out of Roy’s normal day, but it feels different. It feels comforting. It helped to calm the nerves he’d had since he walked through the locker room doors, and the team bombarded him with questions. His fellow coaches kept telling him to take it easy. The med team checked in with him multiple times, and Roy just wanted things to be normal. The only person that wasn’t actually acting insane was Jamie, but Jamie had been with Roy since he first realized what had happened at the cafe. Jamie had a front-row seat to Roy getting better. And Roy realizes how much Jamie has actually been dealing with while helping Roy. He’d been the one in contact with the team. He was the one fielding two dozen people wanting to know how Roy was doing. Jamie had kept his bosses in the loop and kept anyone from bothering Roy while he was recovering. Roy set his sandwich down and looked at Jamie.

“You alright?” Jamie asks, now studying Roy closely.

“I didn’t thank you,” Roy says bluntly. 

“For inviting you to get lunch where we both work?” Jamie asks.

“For fucking everything. For saving my life. For taking care of Phoebe. For dealing with these idiots,” Roy says, gesturing to the team members scattered around the tables of the canteen. “I’m a fucking prick for not thanking you sooner. So thank you, Jamie. For making sure I didn’t die because of a fucking smoothie.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Jamie says. 

“But I should. You didn’t have to do any of it. You could have just done nothing like most of the people there. The cafe workers barely did shit. You did it. And that’s not something I’m going to just write off. You saved my life. No one has to put on fucking suits and dress shoes for another funeral. You kept me alive. I owe you-”

“You don’t owe me shit, Roy,” Jamie says earnestly. “You’ve fucking seen me at my worst, and you didn’t hesitate to help me. Fucking hugged me, and you don’t hug anyone. You make sure I don’t fuck up and that I keep getting better. The fact you get up at fucking 3 a.m. so you can help me when you really don’t have to. You have done so fucking much for me, even when I used to be such a fucking prick. I can’t ever-”

“You’ve made me better too. You get that, right?” Roy says in all seriousness. “You challenge me the good way, always keeping me on my fucking toes. My sister and Phoebe think you bring out a fucking passion that I’d lost, that and Phoebe is fucking thrilled and keeps asking me if you’ll help her learn to ride a bike.” 

“Fuck yeah,” Jamie smiles. “If I could get your stubborn arse to do it, she’ll be a delight.”

“Guess I have to buy her a fucking bike now,” Roy grins.

“Fuck off,” Jamie laughs. “You’ll fucking love every minute of it.”  

“Fucking shops always upsell that shit,” Roy laments and goes back to eating, awkward feelings discussion seemingly over.”

Jamie ends up looking through bikes online and which shop to go to. Jamie doesn’t need to go with them, but he’s apparently going to. And Roy is oddly fine with the idea of Jamie joining them. To see Jamie and Phoebe doing mundane shit like he had that morning made Roy’s stomach flutter in a good way. 

Roy’s flat is too quiet. He wouldn’t have minded the quiet less than two days ago, but after having Jamie and Phoebe there to fill the space had been something he didn’t know he wanted. Even when Phoebe hadn’t been there, Jamie had. Even when he was just doing dishes, Jamie just had a way of filling the space, making it feel less empty. He would chat with Roy or just fucking exist, and that was enough to make it feel less lonely. And Roy couldn’t believe he was missing Jamie fucking Tartt. He might regret it, but he ends up texting Jamie and making plans for training the next morning. Because Jamie had missed one morning, and Roy was not going to be the reason Jamie slacked off. Jamie hadn’t argued. 

The next few days, Roy finds himself talking to and texting Jamie more than anyone else.

Keeley grins as she approaches Roy before their match against Brighton. 

“What?” Roy grunts. 

“How you feeling?” She asks.

“I’m fucking fine.” Roy is so tired of answering that question. He grunts and waves her off. 

“That’s good. How’s Jamie?” She grins.

“He’s fucking ready to fuck up Brighton,” Roy states. “How else would he be?”

“You tell me since you have been chatting him up,” Keeley studies his reaction. 

“Fuck off,” Roy glares at her. “I have not.” 

“So you haven’t been texting him for the past few days? Like actually texting him when you don’t need to.” Roy just grunts. “Admit it, Roy-o.” Keeley smiles. “You-”

Roy pulls her aside into his office and closes the door. 

“Whoa,” Keeley says, looking positively giddy. “You actually do have feelings for him, don’t you?” 

“Keeley, you can’t-”

“I won’t tell anyone, but you have to tell him,” Keeley insists. “Roy, he fucking adores you. Always has, but after that shit with his dad at Wembley.  And whatever happened in Amsterdam, he rarely talks about anyone else or anything. It's football, whatever PR I am helping him with, maybe his mum and you. I don't know how much he has told you, but that man fucking cried when he got home the other day. Like it was over 24 hours later, and it's like he finally could process everything. And the idea of losing you fucking hit him like a bus." 

"He did not tell me that," Roy says. 

"Of fucking course not. He probably thinks you'd think he's needy or too clingy."

"Fuck," Roy says as he sits down. He'd thought a lot about Jamie the last few days. But the idea that Jamie could feel the same way had never crossed his mind. Sure, Jamie said he cared for Roy. But they were mates now, and that was enough for Roy. Or it had been. "You really had to do this right before a fucking match," Roy says with a glare at Keeley.

"Sorry, not sorry," Keeley says and goes off to find Rebecca. 

They win because Jamie Tartt is a fucking mastermind on the pitch. Knows exactly where the ball needs to go and how to get it there. And Roy couldn't be more proud of him. As Roy makes his way out onto the pitch, he has the urge to fucking kiss the striker in front of a stadium full of fans. And that is a very fucking bad idea. So instead, he hugs Jamie and tells him he did fucking great. 

When the team makes it to the locker room, Jamie is flying high on the win and the fact Roy had actually smiled at him and hugged him. And Jamie doesn’t think his day can get better. But Roy drags him into the boot room, and before Jamie can say anything, Roy says he wants to kiss Jamie. Jamie just fucking nods, and then Roy fucking kisses him, and Jamie wonders if he is the one that almost died a few days ago because this has to be a dream because Roy has him backed against one of the shelves. One hand is in Jamie’s hair, and the other gripping his hip, and Jamie can only pull him closer and kiss him back. The door opens, and an amused Will walks in. Roy goes to pull away, but Jamie won't let him. 

“Don’t mind us, Mr. Kitman,” Jamie chuckles as he steps to the side and takes Roy by the wrist. Roy says nothing and refuses to make eye contact with Will as Jamie drags him out of the room. “Want to get out of here?” Jamie says lowly to Roy, looking up at him from under his lashes. And Roy answers him by gripping his face and kissing him again.

“Get your shit,” Roy says. “And get your arse in the fucking car.” Jamie fucking moans into Roy’s mouth when he kisses him one last time. Earning a few interesting looks from the nearest players, but no one says anything about it. No one gives them shit. And Roy can appreciate that. Jamie quickly gets out of his sweaty kit and shoves his jacket in his bag because fuck that. He’s in a hurry, and Roy is watching him with amusement because he is less than graceful as he hurries. They don’t say a word to anyone as they leave. They barely say anything until they are locked away in Roy’s flat. 

“You know the entire team will know by tonight, right?” Jamie says as he kicks off his shoes and tosses his bag near the wall. 

“Fuck ‘em,” Roy says as he takes his jacket off and tosses it aside. 

“Rather be the one fucked,” Jamie grins, and Roy growls. “That’s some articulate response there, coach. Didn’t quite get that, did you-” Roy cuts Jamie off with an aggressive kiss. It’s all passion and teeth as he bites Jamie’s lip. Jamie gives him what he wants and opens his mouth to him. Roy pins him to the wall and fucking explores Jamie as well as he can while they are both fully clothed in the fucking hallway. And as much as Jamie would happily let Roy fuck him against the wall in his entryway, he knows Roy’s knee is fucked, and he wants Roy to actually enjoy being with Jamie. So Jamie has to pull away. Roy growls when, again, Jamie slips out from between him and where Roy had him pinned. But his annoyance is gone when he looks over at Jamie. Jamie is already pulling his shirt over his head and heading down the hall. 

“You coming or what?” Jamie smirks as he tosses his shirt at Roy. Roy catches it and drops it on top of Jamie’s bag, and follows Jamie down the hall. He tugs his own shirt off as he reaches his bedroom and tosses it aside. Jamie’s trackies are gone. Roy can understand why Keeley went back to Jamie for a good time after they broke up because fucking hell, Jamie Tartt had to have been sculpted by a higher power. And Roy doesn’t hesitate. He’s on Jamie before the smug prick can make a joke about Roy eye fucking him. A breathless laugh is all Jamie manages as Roy gets Jamie in his bed. Jamie is less talkative in bed than Roy would have thought. Sure, he had a fucking dirty mouth, but Roy fucking loves the wordless noises that Jamie makes as Roy methodically takes him apart and fucking ruins Jamie Tartt. The way Jamie moans his name pushes Roy over the edge, and they both end up panting for breath side by side in Roy’s bed. But that has an unexpected reaction from Jamie. Roy had expected him to maybe be a cuddler. Jamie is on his side and looking down at Roy, studying him. And Roy realizes Jamie is a lot less relaxed than he was a second ago. 

“What?” Roy manages to ask. “What’s wrong?” And Roy is unnerved when Jamie just shakes his head lays down with his head on Roy’s chest. Jamie is silent. His ear was over Roy’s heart.

And Roy gets it. Roy had been trying to catch his breath. The last time Jamie heard him struggling to breathe was far less enjoyable for both of them. So he runs his fingers through Jamie’s hair silently. But he knows he has to say something when he hears Jamie sniffle. 

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” Roy says, wrapping his arms around Jamie to emphasize his point.   

"Sorry," Jamie mutters.

"Don't be," Roy says honestly. 

"That's the thing, I know you're fine, I really do." He shifts so he can see Roy. 

"Bit better than fine," Roy grins.

Jamie huffs a laugh, but it seems half-hearted.

"I know but-"

"But it is an impulsive reaction. No rationality to it. Just you hear it, and you can't help but react."

"Yeah, fucking annoying," Jamie laments. 

"It's fucking adorable," Roy says.

"Is not," Jamie says. "Me being stupid afraid is not adorable."11

"It's a trauma reaction, Jamie," Roy tells him. "PTSD shit. You can't predict what triggers that shit. You know that. I think it's adorable because it means even when you aren't worried about what is going on, part of your brain is still making sure I'm not dying."

"Well, it doesn't feel adorable," Jamie sighs. Move until he can tuck his head into Roy's neck. Roy holds him close. 

"I'm sure it doesn't," Roy agrees. "But we can work on it. If it's trauma-based, then it'll get better in time."

"Except it could fucking happen again," Jamie points out.

"And we'll fucking deal with it again if it does."

"Roy," Jamie moves to get up. And Roy lets him because he knows Jamie does not do well if he can't move. 

"Jamie," Roy says back, and it somehow sounds like a challenge, and Jamie doesn't know what to say now. Roy shakes his head and disappears into his bathroom. He tosses something Jamie catches on muscle memory alone. Jamie looks down, and it's another EpiPen. 

"There, and there's a new one in the glove box, and Gayle got two more for Nelson Road. They already have them for public first aid. One is in my desk, and the other is in the treatment room now too. Does that make you feel better?" 

"It does a bit," Jamie says. 

"Just a bit?" 

"Means you took what I said seriously," Jamie says.

"Of fucking course I did," Roy says as he starts to put on a pair of pants. "Did you think I would just shrug it off?"

"Maybe," Jamie says as he gets partially dressed. 

"Well, I didn't because it fucking sucked for me but also for you and Phoebe. And the team." 

"You also could have fucking died," Jamie says flatly, and Roy goes over to him and pulls him close. 

"But I didn't because of you. And I'll try and make sure it won't happen again. Can't fucking guarantee anything, but I will try because I don't want any of you to worry."

"I'm going to worry, just like you do," Jamie says. "Because I care."

"And it blows my fucking mind you do," Roy admits. 

"Fuck it," Jamie says and drags Roy towards the ensuite. "We're going to shower, then getting food, and then get fucking dirty again." 

"Sounds good to me."

#tw: allergic reactions #tw: Content warning: Allergic Reactions #tw: Hospitals #tw: needles #tw: epipens #tw: medical emergencies #tw: ptsd #tw: trauma reactions #tw: anaphylaxis #roy kent #ted lasso fic #jamie tartt #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #royjamie #phoebe kent #phoebe o'sullivan #phoebe ted lasso

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Due to some freak accident Jamie takes something super heavy right to the chest, like a weight or a medicine ball. The breath his completely knocked out of him, he's literally knocked off his feet and as he lays there gasping in agony his eyes find Roy and with whatever strength he's got he reaches out to him. A horrified Roy rushes to his side, pleading with Jamie to hang on as the younger man passes out. There's a mad rush to the hospital where Jamie pulls through and isn't actually as hurt as everyone thought. It just scared the crap out of them all, especially Roy who goes uber protective mode as he takes over Jamie's care. It's just the jolt these two need to finally realize what they mean to each other.

Oh he gets the wind knocked out of him. Had that happen to a friend when I was like 9. He fell off a high swing and straight onto his chest. We all thought he needed a hospital was absolutely terrifying.

-

Roy is frozen for a second before he leaps forward. Jamie is gasping and shaking. He’s clawing at his chest. Roy slams into the ground next to him.

“Jamie? Can you breathe?”

He gets a broken gasp and a shudder in response. “Okay hospital call a squad.” Jamie’s eyes fill with tears. He reaches a hand out towards Roy. Roy takes the hand without thinking. He links their fingers together. “Come on Jamie. You’ll be okay stay awake.” Jamie shakes his head. He starts crying for real and scratching at his chest.

Roy only prays the squad gets here faster

——

Roy has refused to leave Jamie’s side ever since the hospital said he could be discharged. Roy almost fought the doctor who said he could leave. Jamie’s chest was black and blue. He shook when he took his hoodie off. Roy needless to say forced him into a wheelchair to take him to his car.

“Old man shouldn’t the rolls be reversed?” Roy snorts. He can’t help it. He’s just happy to hear Jamie talking and joking again. “We’re going to my house. Be good not a word about the dog.”

Jamie perks up at the mention of a dog. “Dog! Roy you’ve got a dog?? How long? What’s its name? What kind! Why haven’t I known this?” Roy snorts and buckles Jamie’s seatbelt.

“Two months. Frankie. Chihuahua. Cause I hadn’t told you yet. Phoebe wanted a dog. Ruth said if I got one it’d basically be like hers.” Jamie blinks at all the information. “So you got a dog so your niece would be happy? God I love you.”

Roy nearly chokes on the gun he’s chewing. “You’re drugged.” Jamie shakes his head and rests it on the window. “Always loved you. This made me realize I should say it.”

Roy jerks the car into the closest parking lot. He shoves it in park and stares at Jamie. Who understandably looks a little startled. “You fucking muppet. I was going to say that later.” Jamie’s mouth opens and closes. “No the fuck you were not.” Roy grabs his hand and holds on tight. “I love you. I want to date you.”

Jamie’s mouth drops open. He can’t believe it. “You love me like I love you?” Roy smiles. He brings Jamie’s hand up to kiss it. “Hate that it took this to make me say it but yes. I do.” Jamie let’s out a whoop that makes Roy’s head hurt a little.

“Roy Kent loves me. He fucking loves me!” Roy laughs and shifts to drive again when he’s attacked. “Kiss! Now! Now now now now now now.” Roy cuts him off by obeying. Kissing Jamie is nice feels right.

Roy pulls away with a tap to Jamie’s chest. “No strenuous activity for at least a week. Behave.” Jamie whines but Roy ignores him. “I’ll let you get Frankie outfits with my card if you’re good.” Jamie grabs the hand not on the wheel. “Oh I love you.” Roy snorts.

“I love you too.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie tartt x roy kent #jamie x roy #royjamie #roy kent x jamie tartt #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #Frankie the oc dog that roy got cause he’s a SUCKER for Phoe

[lunar-years]

Jamie was definitely somewhat hurt in the S1 finale after Roy’s tackle. Jamie comically lays on the ground for a while after Roy takes him down, so he’s likely injured somewhere but has to continue playing because his dad is watching. Then they win the match and Jamie gets checked out by the medic in the treatment room. And after that his dad finds him and only hurts him further :( Or Jamie’s winded by Roy’s tackle because his dad paid him a visit before the match and left him with less visible injuries

gotta admit when someone pointed out Jamie just lying there whilst Roy writhed and was seriously injured i laughed so hard lmao. ohhhh jamie 😂. idk i don't think Jamie is like, actually injured in canon there...I assume it's just sort of football protocol to have the medics check him out afterwards after taking a hit like that? I think the dramatic lying there is more so just him recovering from the initial shock of the hit. and then his face when Roy walks off...the internal conflict when he registers that his idol's career could very well be well over because of a play Jamie was involved in. Juicy!!!! Delicious angst!!!

In addition to what Ted witnessed in the treatment room with his father, I also think it's interesting(ly terrible) that we never see James Sr. coming around Nelson Road to watch Jamie's games when he's playing for Richmond, but as soon as Jamie's on City again, he's more than willing to make his way down to London...ew. Horrible man. I could talk about Jamie's complicated relationship with City alllll day long and how beautifully and powerfully I feel they ended that storyline in Mom City. Because I think James really ruins Jamie's experience being on the team he wanted to be on since he was a little kid, and that's horrible to think about! But the closure we see in Mom City when the Manchester fans cheer for Jamie is Jamie taking that power away from his dad and saying no, I'm still City's and City is still Mine. But also finding strength and relief in this new path he's forged just for himself with Richmond! it's soooo special to me. I don't think Jamie's ever going back to City, I don't think he wants to, frankly, but I also think he's more at peace with that than he's ever been before. That's letting the grip his father has over his life go!! That's the type of healing Ted is talking about, without any of the bs forgiveness.

Anywayyyyyy. Sorry to get off track there, BUT this ask made me think that a very fun angsty AU could be Jamie genuinely getting hurt from Roy's tackle and having to leave the pitch at the same time as Roy. And he would feel insanely bitter because the stands would still be chanting for only Roy and not paying a lick of attention to him at all (because they know this is Roy's final moment, right, whilst Jamie is going to be Fine. but Jamie wouldn't see it like that in the moment, he'd just be pissed.) Do the home and away teams use the same tunnel to get on the pitch?? because imagine Jamie and Roy having to walk down that hallway together. Roy can barely move and it took all his strength just to reach the tunnel without assistance. So Jamie jumps in to help him back to the Richmond locker room, even though he's injured himself, because he's not just going to leave him there struggling, is he?? I also assume there's two separate treatment rooms for the team but what if there's not and Jamie and Roy have to be in there together??? ooooh the conversations they'd have!!

#me cheerfully ignoring football/stadium accuracy for the sake of drama in my fanfics what else is new? #jamie tartt #roy kent #ted lasso #asks #james tartt sr #tw abuse

[eulogier]

FUUUCKKKKKK.            roy's brain waves have scattered,   it's all a big fuck-shit-keeley-jamie-car-crash.   he's established a few things about himself in the two days it's been since @leagueprem and jamie kissed,   in the one day since he found it all out:   roy kent is the biggest idiot in the history of the premier league,   all around a great piece of shit with bad ideas and worse execution.   other revelations   ( courtesy of jamie's contributions, more on that later )   :   keeley jones is thinking about how to make it work between all three of them, and jamie and roy desperately need her to work it out for them before they make it any worse.   he does the only thing he can do,   apologise.   jamie had been first,   an eye for an eye and they'd made up.   no more secrets,   ever.   he figures the next part is best done alone.

the day is extra horrible.   roy can't for the life of him keep all his angst inside,   the team suffer at his hands.   he's typed and untyped keeley a hundred different texts,   hoping and praying that she's not looking at her phone.   ( i'm sorry. i'm an idiot. i'm sorry. i should have told you. i'm sorry. this isn't how this was supposed to go. i'm stupid. jamie didn't mean it. i didn't mean it. don't be upset with jamie. i'm a prick. i'm sorry. )   he goes straight to keeley's house,   his mind runs through a hundred different scenarios.   ( he shows up and she kicks him to the curb. she spits in his face. she never wants to see him again. she starts to cry. she forgives him instantly. she never even opens the door. )   he's pale by the time he gets there.

it's with a long breath in that he knocks on the door and waits.   it's fucking excruciating,   every second of it,   looking at the door of a house he used to stroll into at will,   straight in for a keeley-kiss.   when the door finally does open,   the wind is knocked out of him.

   ❝ i'm sorry, keeley. ❞   he suddenly wishes he brought jamie along,   tries to think back to what jamie said to him when he'd played this part,   he's much better at it   ( talking? )   than him.   he says it all through clenched teeth,   like it's the most painful thing in the world,   all the burning in his chest.   ❝ i know you're upset. i'm not asking you to forgive me. i'm just asking to fucking, talk, or something. i never wanted to hurt anyone. ❞   

#LEAGUEPREM #ROY: I CHOOSE YOU! #i slipped and finished this one first. #um

[nativestarwrites]

I'm so just... BAD at tumblin' and half the time end up messaging when I mean to ask and commenting when i mean to tag, so I have no idea if there is a nice and neat way to respond specifically to YOU on the "word of the week" post you shared. So I'm just going to say that the snippet you shared for "exhausted?" I may have screamed a bit because Jamie was leaning on Roy and they were together and Jamie wasn't dead and Roy wasn't consumed with guilt and I have no idea if this is present day or pre-Bad-Thing-That-Happened-To-Jamie, but I don't even care. Your fic has so destroyed me to this point (in the best possible way!) that the potential glimpse of comfort here? IT NOURISHES ME. NOURISHES, DAMMIT.

Thank you! And your comments are the same! Every lovely comment and bit of encouragement, I bottle up for writing fuel!

(I think the only way to respond to a person on the Word Game Wednesday post would be to @ someone in the comments, its a bit messy. I might change how I respond to that one, reblogging the WGW post is nice and easy for me but it has its drawbacks.)

I'm 4300 words into what I think will be 5000 word chapter, which is great except the remaining words are the hard words, the parts I've been putting off and the ones that will make the scene transitions work...😬 which is a long-winded way of saying Chapter 2 is coming soon, but I'm not sure how soon.

As for when that snippet occurs in the fic... (teeny tiny spoiler)

That was from present day, but you won't read that part for another 4 chapters, sorry! (Although you won't have to wait that long before you see Jamie again.)

#When Darkness Falls #apocalypse fic #ask answered

[polikszena]

And here is Part 2 of the A.F.C. Richmond at the Eiffel Tower fic! It has footballers in an elevator, Trent Crimm and his amazing hair, a Roy/Keeley reunion (sorry I couldn't help it), and a melancholic football coach. Beware, it's very cheesy!

Part 1

A lamppost with a publicist - Part 2

Stepping out of the elevator, cold air hit the footballers' face as they ran to the railings to see Paris from above. Trent Crimm was the last one to leave the small cubicle, enjoying the wind blowing through his magnificent mane.

"You look like a fucking L'Oréal commercial," Roy Kent stated.

"Because I'm worth it," the former reporter replied.

"Fucking ruined it. Again," the assistant coach said and walked away, leaving the smiling man behind.

However, Trent couldn't enjoy the breeze for long as the wind changed direction, blowing his dark locks into his face.

"Merdre," he groaned, heading to the inner parts of the building to fix his hair.

*

The next time he was seen, he was facetiming with his daughter with his hair up in a quick bun so the wind would not mess it up any more. Near him there was Matthijs, Rebecca's Dutchman also facetiming with his daughter. Ted Lasso watched them with a sinking heart, wishing Henry was there with him. Or even calling him would have been enough, but he was sitting in a Maths class at the moment. Without his kid, being up in the tower felt pointless, the landscape had lost its beauty, his players' excitement made him feel indifferent. He was just sitting on a wooden bench, feeling more miserable than Jean Valjean on his worst days.

"Coach, is everything okay?" Sam Obisanya stepped to him, looking a little worried to see the moustached man so under the weather, especially in a place like this.

The young footballer snapped Ted out of his thoughts. He couldn't let Sam see him like this, so he forced a smile.

"Yeah, all is well," he said, trying to sound convincing, but his gaze shifted to the two fathers talking to their children.

Sam's eyes followed his and he nodded his head.

"Coach, I couldn't call my dad, but I recorded a video and sent it to him so he can still see the view," he told the other man.

A fainted smile touched Ted's lips and it wasn't the first time he stated in mind that this kid was the team's ray of sunshine.

"That's a good idea, thank you, Sam!" he said, getting up from the bench.

*

Stepping into the elevator that went to the 3rd floor which was almost the at top of the tower, Dani Rojas crossed himself, looking a little pale, while next to him, Jamie Tartt was grinning like a child, excited to see the view. However, it faded when he noticed the face of his teammate and his mouth moving.

"Are you praying?" he wondered.

"Just to make sure it's gonna be okay," Dani said, then continued mumbling in Spanish.

"I understand, it's pretty fuckin' high," Jamie said. "Do you want me to hold your hand while we go up?"

"Por favor," the Mexican footballer said.

His plam was cold and sweaty when Jamie took it. He could feel the tension leaving Dani's body as his fingers wrapped around his.

"Gracias, amigo," he said as the elevator's door closed behind them.

"De nada."

*

"What are you doing? Your teammate was there, you moron!"

"No way, he should go straight for a goal!"

Thierry Zoreaux, well, Van Damme and Moe Bumbercatch were standing by the railings, shouting and pointing downwards when Trent Crimm walked past them.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"They found some football match down there," Jan Maas told him, standing by his two teammates with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Trent stepped closer and peeked out to see the football pitch. From that height, the players looked like small dots chasing another, even smaller one.

"That guy should make a pass," the former reporter stated.

"See?" Van Damme said. "I told you so!"

Trent's mind however, was somewhere else: his gaze shifted to the landscape of Paris, trying to spot the most famous buildings. And the less famous ones he had visited before. Like that bar near the Boulevard of San Michel or the hotel on Montmartre he had spent a few nights the last time he came to Paris. It wasn't yesterday, he thought with a smirk, enjoying the panorama.

*

Roy Kent was speechless as he stood there, with his fingers around the railings, being in awe of the landscape. He was fascinated by the structure of the city itself, by the impressive buildings, even by the fucking clouds on the fucking sky. He found it so beautiful that it even hurt. And what hurt him even more was his desire to share it with Keeley, but he couldn't even if she was there in the tower, just a couple of metres away.

Little did he know that she was closer to him than he had thought. Keeley Jones was standing right behind him, but Roy hadn't noticed him until he heard her swearing, and when he turned around, she was nowhere to see. However, he could still hear her steps as she ran away (as much as one could run in the Eiffel Tower). Until that point he hadn't seen the pink sign on the floor, right in front of him: 'Spot to kiss.'

"Fuck!" Roy burst out and followed her.

Soon he could see her bright pink coat as she stood with her back to him, one hand pressed against an iron bar of the tower. From her pose he could tell she was crying which made him feel even worse.

"OI!" he shouted, and now all eyes were on him, wondering who was this fucking madman yelling in the Eiffel Tower. "Keeley!" He added, in a much softer tone.

"Roy?" She asked, looking hurt and confused. The assistant coach took a deep breath and began to speak:

"Just wanted to tell you that I'm looking at the fucking most beautiful panorama I've ever fucking seen and I cannot share it with you even if you're here and that fucking hurts," he told her, somewhat relieved that he could finally put his feelings into words. Even though he had no idea how she would react to it which was scary as hell. But at least he could say it out loud.

Keeley's eyes widened with surprise and she needed a moment to let Roy's words sink in. He watched her eyes tear up again as she was digesting his confession, with his heart becoming heavier and heavier.

She took a step forward, still struck by his words. It was an incredibly long moment, but then Keeley quickened her steps and the next thing Roy knew was her lips against his and the taste of her lipstick mixing with salt in his mouth. Overcoming the first shock, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her back. He only pulled away when he heard people clapping and cheering for them.

"Mind your own fucking business!" he shouted at them.

Then he kissed her again.

*

I forgot how beautiful this was, Rebecca Welton thought to herself looking down on the city of Paris. Rupert had made her memories of the French capital so bitter that she stopped appreciating what it had to offer. However, having her best friend and her football team here, ejoying themselves, she realised it was time to make some new memories.

Not to mention the amazing Dutchman who had just stepped to her, slipping and arm around her waist.

"I'm back," he announced, pressing a kiss on her temple.

"Have you talked to your daughter?" she wondered, melting into his embrace.

"Oh, yes," Matthijs replied with a wide grin. "She sends greetings to the Old Iron Lady," he added, patting the railings of the tower.

Then he turned to her and now the smile faded from his face.

"Rebecca, I've been thinking," he began, making her furrow her brows. She didn't know where this was going and wasn't sure if she even wanted to.

"About what?" she asked.

"We are here, in Paris, in one of the world's most iconic buildings, surrounded by a breathtaking view," he continued, and Rebecca started getting nervous. If he proposes, I'll fucking jump out of the tower, she thought to herself. Things were going on well between them, but they were still pretty far from that step. Her fingers clenched around the railings, waiting for him to finish. "So, it's time to take our first picture together," he said.

"A picture?" She asked, feeling relieved that it was just a false alarm. "Sure, why not?"

Then leaning her forehead against his temple, she smiled into Matthijs' camera.

*

When Coach Beard stepped to him, Ted Lasso was sitting on a bench (a different one), idly staring at the view, but not really paying attention to it.

"Hey, coach" Beard said.

"Hey, coach," Ted said, and looking up he saw his right hand man with two pints of beer in his hands.

"Thank you," the moustached man said, taking one of the plastic glasses from his friend.

Coach Beard then sat down next to him and they clinked their glasses.

"Henry?" He asked.

Ted nodded his head.

"I recorded a video for him, but it's still not the same," he said. "Still not a big fan of time zone changes. I'm Anti-Time-Zone."

"I'm sure he'll like it," Beard said. "They certainly do," he added, looking at the members of the team having the time of their lives.

"Just give me a moment and I'll be as jolly as a cinnamon roll. Or a croissant," Ted said, taking a sip of his drink. "We're in Paris, after all."

*

"I can't believe you kissed Roy."

"I can't believe you thought the Dutchman would propose."

Rebecca Welton and Keeley Jones were sitting in the tower's bar, drinking champagne and admiring the view.

"We still have a lot to talk through," the publicist said. "But right now we just enjoy Paris."

"Good idea," Rebecca said. "I have to re-learn that, too," she admitted. "Rupert made me forget how amazing this city is."

"Fucking prick."

"Let's not talk about him," the club owner suggested. "I won't let him ruin our night."

"Let's drink to that," Keeley raised her glass. "To successfully invading France," Rebecca said, throwing a glance outside where a small group of Richmond footballers were fooling around and taking pictures.

Keeley laughed at the toast proposal and she happily clinked her glass with the other woman.

"To invading France," she repeated and took a sip of her glass.

Her gaze shifted to the rest of the team outside the bar where Jamie was trying to talk Roy into a selfie. Rebecca looked out as well, and she felt that something was missing.

"I'll be back in a minute," she said, getting up from her chair.

*

Ted Lasso was standing by the railings with Coach Beard, Trent Crimm and Matthijs, now in a more cheerful mood when Rebecca walked to him.

"Ted," she began, making all four men turn to her.

"Hi, Boss, what's neuf?" Ted greeted her.

"Gather the team together, please," she told him.

"Are we gonna take a group picture?" the mustached coach wondered.

"We can, but first I have a surprise for them."

About five minutes later, the entire A.F.C. Richmond was standing in the bar, everyone holding a glass of champagne. Rebecca raised her glass to propose a toast, but the footballers hadn't noticed it yet, so Roy had to silence them with a yell that even made the two waiters chatting in the corner go quiet.

"The floor is yours, Boss," Ted said.

"I propose a toast to Richmond, to Paris and to the new memories we'll make here," Rebecca said, looking around the footballers, coaches and the additional staff.

"To Richmond," Higgins repeated.

"To Richmond!" Echoed the whole team, all raising their glasses.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #trent crimm #roy kent #sam obisanya #rebecca welton #coach beard #thierry zoreaux #jan maas #moe bumbercatch #dani rojas #jamie tartt #dutch boat bloke #my fics #roy x keeley #rebecca x dutch boat bloke #boatbecca #brotp: fuck yeah princess diaries #paris #eiffel tower

[mitskijamie]

Ok but. If I may be allowed to ramble a moment, your majesty? Dani has a crush on Jamie almost first thing. Then Jamie leaves. Dani makes friends with Sam instead, Sam is hot and sweet and what can Dani say, his type is: pretty boys. After a game, he winds up making out with Sam like an idiot and they become secret boyfriends. Why secret? Because Dani's a romantic little shit, not because its much of an actual secret. The team knows, the coaches know. Anyway, Jamie comes back. Dani's happy!! Sam is not. Dani is conflicted!! Sam trips jamie and ruffles his hair. This is hot to dani!! And Jamie!! Jamie is confused, his type is I Only Date Girls bc my dad would beat my ass otherwise. Dani decides to make friends with him! Sam does not like this. Jamie is happy with this bc he does like Dani. Except turns out he likes dani...too much!! Wtf? Its just. He is lonely, dani is nice and handsome and has long hair. Also he plays football games with him. So cute.

Anyway. Sam is pissed. He and Dani are low-key fighting. Jamie finds out they're dating and he's like. Of all the stupid ass shit that life could've hit me with rn. This is the dumbest. Dubai air! Sam decides at least Jamie is not the complete cock he was. He apologizes to dani. The boys and Jamie get closer. Its slow but worth it. Cue Wembley break down, Jamie stays at Roy's for a bit and Dani resigns himself to the idea of a Jamie Roy Keeley trouple. Meanwhile, Jamie does not know what trouple means. Sam is realizing there are layers to jamie effing tartt. Lotsa layers. Dani realizes he is crushing hard and comes out as poly to sam, as well as apologizes for not telling him sooner he'd had a crush on Jamie before. Sam is a little insecure. Jamie still does not know what trouple means.Bam! News of possible transfer for sam! Dani assures Sam he loves him. This is the first time he has used the word. Sam loves him back. But is scared he is only saying it bc he's scared of Sam leaving. He says he must think, ominously, like a hallmark white girl.

But then. Jamie and Sam talk. It is an accident and also, bc it would be good for the plot. Sam asks Jamie what he thinks abt him transferring. Jamie blanks replies that he's one of the best players at Richmond so on one hand, him leaving would be really bad for the team. On another hand, he's one of the best guys Jamie knows, so he also wants the best for him, so he'd wish him luck if the transfer is what he wanted. He also asks what Dani thinks of it. Sam says the truth, which is that Dani isn't talking about it bc he doesn't want to influence his decision. (Its also cause he's a dumbaas but whatever) Sam is touched. Dani is panicking. Jamie...still does not know what trouple means. (Sorry that line only gets better each time I use it) long story short, dani comes to Sam's place, confesses that he doesn't want Sam to go, but he loves him, so he'll support it if Sam needs to, he's crying, Sam cries a little, they fuck. Sam turns it down, ofc. They win the game!! Jamie gives dani the ball, Sam thinks maybe he could fall in love with this boy, Dani realizes he already has and that, my friend, is a pre-sam/jamie/dani fic in a nutshell.

It was much shorter in my head before I started writing I down. Sorry lol.

DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE THIS SM

I would absolutely read this if you wrote it in a full fic. You should if you get the chance 💘💘💘

#ask #sam/dani/jamie #sweetest loveliest boys #jamie not knowing what a throuple is lolllll

[liznt]

keeley/roy/jamie ;)

Jamie won't stop watching Keeley. In busy crowded moments when no one's paying him much attention. When he realises he's been caught, either by feeling the red hot prickle of Roy's glare or hearing his low growl, Jamie's face floods with sad guilt. He looks away.

He's been doing it all week. Driving Roy nuts, in the corner of his eye when Keeley's in the foreground, and it's Friday and he's had a beer and he's had enough.

Roy clambers through the team, jumbled together in the changing room and grabs Jamie by the scruff of his stupid designer t-shirt, barks, "Out," and drags him into the shower room.

Jamie doesn't resist, rises, squirming in Roy's hand, babbling inane excuses and not-really-apologies they go goes. "Shut it," Roy growls and thumps Jamie against the tiled wall, pressing him in place with a forearm across his chest.

Roy glares down at Jamie, who looks down and to the left. Curled, just slightly inward, expecting pain. Roy's teeth grind as his head grinds through the problem under him.

"Roy..?" Keeley's voice echoes, concerned around the tiled maze they're hidden in.

"Shit," says Roy under his breath.

As soon as her footsteps clatter into the room with them he adds, "He won't stop staring at you," without turning around.

"He's allowed to look at me."

Roy continues, "And then he looks at me. All guilty. Like the saddest little puppy that just pissed under the Christmas tree. Making me all involved."

Keeley snakes an arm around Roy's waist, settles under his right arm, as if there's nothing odd happening with his left. She smiles cheeky up at Roy, "So you've come in here to feel him up?"

"I'm not feelin him-" Roy stops, realising she's winding him up.

"Do you think he likes it?" she says watching Jamie, a finger tracing thoughtfully over Roy's chest.

Roy's eyes flash back to him. His eyes are wide, mouth barely open, breath fast without moving an inch.

"D'you think we should show him what he's missing out on?"

She reaches up to Roy's jaw and pulls him down for a kiss. Once, clean, but heavy with intent so that when Roy chases back for a second, this one is long and dirty. Roy's fist opens absently, splays on Jamie's chest, and holds.

When Keeley pulls away she says, "Can we take him home, Roy? I promise if he pisses under the Christmas tree, I'll clean it up."

#ted lasso #keeley jones #jamie tartt #roy kent #drabble #rated T btw

[romeoquinns]

i could wax poetic about it’s the hope that kills you all day long, it’s such a heartbreaking episode and it makes me tear up more and more on each rewatch so here are some of my favourite things from it that i picked up on this rewatch:

all the players being hostile as soon as they see jamie on screen apart from dani who just says “amigo jamie”

roy not flinching when isaac throws the chair whereas everyone else jumps out of their skin lmao

simon, paul and baz saying thanks to ted and beard was so sweet. that’s another thing that i love about this show, no matter who the characters are or how important they are, they are still all so well written and still leave an impact that i actually enjoy watching every single character 

the fan who takes ussies returning to take an ussie with jamie and winding him up whilst he’s at it was a great callback

roy opening keeley’s door for jamie in just pants sdkjskjk the power that he has

i love that roy says never stop breaking tv’s to isaac when he chooses him as captain because he sees the same fire for the game that he has in isaac. i love their relationship growth. 

sam is praying a dua (muslim prayer) before the game?!?!?! holy shit how did i miss this before? i love how they manage to incorporate the players religions/cultures without making that the defining characteristic about them

“richmond on 12″ cracks me up every single time

i always tear up a lil when roy’s chant rings around the stadium and especially when keeley comes to check on him in the locker room. i love that she knows him so well already and she knows that he’s hurting and because of that he’s going to be a bit prickly but he just needs comfort and support from her

jamie looking on in a mix of confusion and awe when the crowd serenades roy with his chant

but really all richmond’s loss comes down to is that ted lasso is a good coach and he helped jamie mature into a player who gathers his teammates back into action whilst richmond were still celebrating their equalising goal, he’s become a team player because of ted.

“roy chased down his grandson” 😭

rebecca sitting next to sam in the locker room. i’m living for their friendship

ted’s note and toy soldier to jamie is just the sweetest thing. and a great way to start his storyline for next season

#this episode!! always does it to me man! #ted lasso #long post #text

[shootinhockey]

Multiples of 5

Have you ever:

5. played hockey?

No, but I would really like to try sometime. I used to be sporty and it seems like fun

10. Gotten injured WATCHING hockey

I was trying to think if I had even accidentally punched a wall in celebration at my home, or if I had been slightly injured at work. The only thing that kept running through my mind was “I’ve never gotten hurt watching Hockey. Football, that’s a whole different story. lol

15. bought a jersey

Not really. I don’t have one at the moment (they were out of my price range for a long time) BUT when I was in middle/high school, my mom bought my an Avs jersey from a garage sale (i think) and had Roy put on the back. Both my brother’s lived in Colorado, so we followed their ride to the Stanley Cup. (BTW, the jersey is super small now)

Favorite:

20. Bromance

I have to go with Jamie/Tyler. They were my first loves and always have a place in my heart.

25. Player with a hyphenated name

Ok, so I had to look up players with hyphenated names and this was the first one to pop up, so I’m going to go with it: Mats Zuccarello-Aasen (mah boi)

30. Color combination of a hockey team

When I was doing my hats, I really liked the color combo of the Golden Knights. It’s so different from all the others and really stands out.

35. Coach

I may get flack for this but I really think that John Tortorella is funny. I'm not really a Blue Jackets fan, but he is so sassy it makes me laugh.

If you were an NHL player:

40. What would your nickname be?

Um... I had a friend in High School that called me Pinwheels. She said it was b/c my brain was like a field of pinwheels, with just a gust of wind my brain would work, but just as quickly it would stop. Also, I jump from topic to topic, very unorganized.

What NHL Team:

45. Would win the Stanley cup if winning was only based on being nice

Are any hockey teams nice? I feel that you have to have a bit of meanness to play hockey. Even the softest of players still fight and check people into the boards.

50. Will be a surprise next year, either good or bad

All of them. They all surprise me with something: losing, winning, trading players.

#this took longer than I thought it would #ask game #thanks for the ask #greymichaela

[gary36]

GM X: Binary pt 1

I couldn't tell you the first thing about Alex.

"Switch seats with me."

"Why?" Kyrie shouted at me without taking her eyes off the road.

"Because-"

"I'm not a good enough driver for you!"

"Because your fucking right hand keeps trying to bite me!" I said indignantly while I pressed myself against the passenger door of the ice cream truck to put as much space as possible between myself and the massive lion head roaring and snapping at me in the middle seat.

"Well it's not my fault! I don't own him. He's not a pet."

"That's hardly the point, Kyrie!"

"Excuse me." Jamie said, tentatively poking her head from the backseat with both eyes on the lion head beneath her. "Mrs. Whetstone is the only adult here, maybe she should drive."

Kyrie rotated the steering wheel twice over, hit the gas, and leaned into a hard left turn. The ice cream truck came up on two wheels, for a moment I was sure we'd roll, everyone in back screamed, gravity pulled me towards the angry lion's open mouth, fortunately I was wearing my seatbelt. The tires squealed as we pulled out on the main road in the twilight. With a terrible shudder the truck slammed back on all fours.

"Am I not up to your standards?" Kyrie roared at the windshield.

"It's really just the lion thing." I said in a soothing voice.

"Mrs. Whetstone just has the most... experience." Jamie said diplomatically.

"Actually," Mrs. Whetstone chimed in as she regained her footing and rummaged around the freezer before producing an ice cream sandwich. "I ride my bike to work. I have a horrible phobia of driving. You're doing great hon!"

"Thanks Miss Shirley!" Kyrie said as she slammed the gas pedal to the floor. The lion went berserk, he thrashed and ripped huge chunks of the seats out with his fangs.

"Slow down!" I screamed.

"Fuck no!"

"Why?"

"There's snake people back there! My right arm is a lion! You're being a backseat driver!"

Kyrie stomped on the brake without warning. My insides lurched forward. Everyone in back screamed, so did the tires. The lion roared fiercely. The truck shuddered violently to a halt.

Suddenly all was quiet, the ice cream truck sat perfectly still in the middle of the empty road beneath a flickering streetlight. On either side of us tall green trees shifted in the wind. Kyrie breathed ragged and deep, her eyes fixed on the road. Her left hand held the wheel in a white knuckled grip. I saw sweat running down her face. The lion bore into me with his unwavering predatory stare.

At last Kyrie let out a long sigh. She reached over the steering column with her left hand and shifted the truck into park.

"Fine." Kyrie said popping the door open and gently sliding out "Have it your way."

I nodded and opened my own door. We started to swap seats.

"I can drive." Josh chimed in.

"Whatever." I obliged him, shifting course to the back.

"But I'm not sitting next to her." He pointed at Kyrie "She's got the disease."

"Would you shut the fuck up Josh?" I lost it "There's no disease."

The back erupted in squabbling.

"She can't ride back here." said a boy with corn-rows. "Her arm is a lion." I had learned his name was Virgil "We're too close together."

"Please don't let the wearlion ride back here." said Casey, an extremely short senior. "She's so angry."

"Technically," Darius, Math Club "lycanthropsy is a magical disease. Usually the transformation involves the best of both human and animal forms. This is more akin to shapeshifting, either through a spell or spell-like abili-"

"Can you please take me home?" Tina, freshman, color guard "I live just around the corner!"

"All of us want to see our parents." Roy, football player. "But where is everyone?"

"I don't want to go home." Margaret, perpetually smoking and wearing sunglasses, especially in class. "I want to hang with Lion Girl, she's cool."

"Wow." Sarah, perpetually smoking weed and wearing hemp, especially under the bleachers. "I can't believe you would act like this at a time like this. 'Lion Girl' is so cliche."

"Everybody calm the fuck down!" Joey, perpetually doing something sketchy in the bathroom.

"Nobody panic, it's going to be alright." said Jamie over the clamor.

Mrs. Whetstone, or Shirley, since Kyrie was on a first name basis, sat on a freezer beaming peacefully to herself with total indifference. Years of teaching had granted her a resistance to young people and their chaotic communication.

Josh was still ranting about seating arrangement "All I'm saying is-"

I shifted the truck into drive. Kyrie rolled down the passenger window and let her lion arm hang out.

We got rolling and an awkward silence settled on everyone.

I sighed and shook my head. "You said you're close by Tina?"

"Ya!" she piped with excitement "Just over here."

A couple of side streets later we were driving into a gorgeous sunrise. Tina lived in a modest house with her dad on Eris Avenue. We didn't pass anyone on the way, but Tina shrieked with joy when she saw her dad's car in the driveway.

The ice cream truck pulled gently to a stop in front of Tina's place. I turned and smiled at everyone. Sometimes it's nice to turn things over to adults.

Tina jumped out of the back of the truck and ran all the way to the front door. She knocked twice hard. Then she grabbed the door knob and let herself in with an ecstatic cry of "Dad!" Before disappearing inside.

Everyone else got out and gathered on the street. Tina's front door lay open. Miss Shirley walked to the door and called inside. "Tina! Honey! Can we use your phone?"

"Yes Ma'am!" Tina answered from far within her home. "One second I..." Her voice traveled further away and trailed off. "Let me just..."

Miss Shirley peaked her head inside "Tina! Everything OK?"

Tina came back to the door with a frown and tears in her eyes "I can't find my dad."

Miss Shirley placed a hand on Tina's shoulder and spoke softly "Hey now, everything is going to be alright. I'm sure your dad is around here somewhere. Did you check all the rooms?"

Tina nodded.

Miss Shirley held her chin in thought for a moment. "Where does he work?"

Tina sniffled "He's a cameraman. At the news station."

"Maybe he's still at work?"

"But his car..." Tina covered her face and looked down.

"Hey now, it's OK Tina. We'll find him."

"Okay..." Tina cried softly to herself.

I looked around at the others. They all shuffled their feet and looked down.

Darius cleared his throat "I live just down the street."

Shirley led Tina inside the house saying "Come on hon, let's call... someone."

"Hey, I gotta make a call!" Virgil said.

"Me Too!" said Sarah, aghast.

"Let me call my grandma!" Joey blurted out as he scuttled inside.

Soon everyone filed into Tina's house but me and Darius. A thunderous roar came from the ice cream truck. I looked back at Kyrie gazing sullenly into space, her lion reaching madly for me from the passenger window.

"Come on Darius." I said weakly. "Let's get you home."

We climbed in and started down the road. No one was outside. No one was driving. Once I saw a squirrel.

Darius lived three turns away from Tina. All the houses there had big yards, second floors, pools, guest houses.

"That's me!" Darius stopped me at a brown house with wood paneling down a private drive.

As I pulled up I hunched over the wheel and swiveled my head in all directions. There was no one, the sprinklers were on, the lights were on, but no one.

Darius jogged to the garage, produced a remote from his pocket, raised the door, and disappeared inside.

"Kyrie." I whispered.

"Yeah?" She replied without taking her eyes off the beast's glorious mane.

"Was it like this before you came to the school?"

"Like what?"

"It's so quiet."

"It's early."

"It's earie"

"Ya it's been kind of a weird day."

"Don't worry Kyrie, we'll get you... a doctor."

Kyrie rolled her eyes.

Darius walked back to the ice cream truck with his head down.

"What's up?" I said.

He shook his head. "Nobody's home. They left everything running, I'm sure they'll be back."

"Did you call?"

"The phone is out or something. It just beeps."

"Let's go back to Tina's." Kyrie said. She sounded exhausted.

"I'll wait here for my parents." Darius said.

"What?" I replied "Darius, we can't just leave you here by yourself."

He shrugged "I don't want to miss them when they get back. Besides, there's a security system. I'll be alright."

I refused to leave Darius alone but he wouldn't listen to reason. Eventually he went in his house and Kyrie reminded me that the others would be looking for us at Tina's. I turned the truck around and felt myself speeding. It wasn't like there were any cops around.

I looked to my right and saw the wind blowing through Kyrie's hair. She was holding the lion's face into the wind and stroking his mane with her left hand.

"I think he likes it." She said softly, as if to herself. "The fresh air calms him down."

When we got back to Tina's I headed directly inside. Kyrie stayed scratching the lion's head.

A quiet defeat had settled on all the students inside. They sat all about Tina's living room with hunched shoulders and low hanging heads. Miss Shirley scanned a nearby bookshelf silently.

I saw a phone in the room and picked it up.

"It's not gonna work." Virgil said.

I dialed my home anyways. It rang twice. I heard a click like someone answered but then just beeping. High pitch. Low pitch. Low pitch. Low pitch. High pitch. High. Low. Low. Low. High. High. High. Low. High. High. High. High.

#ghost mold #writing

[words-writ-in-starlight]

thank you so much omg Name of the Wind is SO FRUSTRATING, I tried reading it and just did NOT like the protagonist or the writing style or ANYTHING, and people KEEP RECOMMENDING IT TO ME

mhmhmhMHMHM you have come to the RIGHT PLACE

Okay, so first, a disclaimer: I read Name of the Wind four and a bit years ago and, despite my usually excellent memory for plots and characters, retained exactly jack and shit of the whole thing except for the arguments I wrote in my head about my frustration.  But like...I’ve been holding onto those for a long time, so just.  Sit tight and listen to me complain for a minute, I deserve this.

First and foremost, it’s pitched as this revolutionary take on...something, and if my life and the lives of everyone I love depended on it, I couldn’t tell you what it’s supposed to revolutionize.  It’s not even a particularly well-executed piece on Magic Has A Price, which is what I usually hear about (what with the very academic, scientific take on magic), the fucking early Dresden Files are better at that.  (Shit y’all, remember Toby Daye, the series I haven’t shut up about?  Magic Has A Price masterpiece right there.)  I mean, goddamn, @Patrick Rothfuss, I’m really sorry, but you’re never going to do Magic Is A Science better than Fullmetal Alchemist, which basically invented equivalent exchange, so just put that one to bed.  For actual revolutionary takes on various genres, I’d suggest Imperial Radch (scifi), The Wrath and the Dawn (fairy tale retelling), Stormdancer (steampunk/fantasy), Sunshine (paranormal urban), and Kencyrath Chronicles (epic fantasy).

Second, the main character is not likable.  There.  I said it.  I found Kvothe absolutely fucking insufferable in every way.  His “modern” self telling the story was, like, a little more tolerable, but for the majority of the novel he’s an arrogant twit too convinced of his own cleverness to drag his head out of his ass for long enough to actually get anything done.  It’s possible to do a very self-confident, clever character in a way that their arrogance is actually charming--King Arthur: Legend of the Sword comes to mind.  Shit, son, so does Roy Mustang, and half the other characters in FMA.  In books, I’d rec maybe Captive Prince (Laurent).  It’s important, if you’re doing that, to make sure that the character can actually put their money where their mouth is and do the thing they’re bragging about, or else make it a Learning Experience that sticks with them.  Kvothe ain’t that.  Kvothe is just completely baselessly sure that he’s going to be the best from the very beginning, despite evidence to the contrary, and I found it intolerably annoying.

Third, the universe is interesting, the magic is kind of a neat concept for all that it’s (from what I can tell) an Eragon bootleg, which is, of course, the child of LOTR and Star Wars almost exactly. But the writing style was like a fucking textbook.  I mean.  Goddamn.  Not exactly sweeping me away into the infinite Imagisphere with that.  And I’m not--my standards for evocative prose are not that high, the Animorphs books were written for thirteen-year-olds, but fuck me NotW was not remotely achieving it.  If you’re going to frontload that kind of technical jargon, you need to make it the point of the book, like The Martian, which is very up front about being a science ramble that enjoys what it’s doing, or else find a good balance like Sabriel, which is heavy on the technical angle of Abhorsen magic and glyphs and shit without sacrificing the characters.

Fourth, I dimly recall a girl who’s there for like a hot minute as a love interest?  I don’t think I remember any others?  So, you know...points off for that one.  It’s the 21st century.  Women, POC, the homosexual agenda, they should all be in there.  Thanks.

Fifth, the whole urban setup gets a lot of time and attention, but it’s just not...well done?  It’s just not.  It does not give a cohesive sense of place, nor an emotional connection to the people in that place.  Please, for the love of God, Jesus, and any other deities you want to throw in there, read the first book in the Kencyrath series, it is called God Stalk and it’s very good at this.  I’d also say Toby Daye, but that’s about a real place (San Francisco) rather than a fantasy setting, like NotW and God Stalk.

Sixth, and this is a writerly complaint, not an opinion, but: right, so, in the “modern” day when Kvothe is telling the story, some grand disaster is underway, right?  Am I making that up?  See, I’d never know if I was making it up, because it does not get a single goddamn mention in the main bulk of the novel.  That is a clear and evident sign that you need to critically reevaluate what part of the timeline is the main novel.  I’m not saying that your novel necessarily needs to be the worst day/month/week of your character’s life, but if you could have included the entire text of the novel in a page or two of emotionally laden dialogue or memories, you probably should have.  And don’t come at me with “Oh, Name of the Wind is the first in a series, things get underway later in the series” because if your FIRST BOOK does not grab me, I’m absolutely not giving you ANOTHER BOOK to get it done.  You want to set up some kind of heartwrenching Things Were Different Once arrangement?  Make me care about your characters and then drop bits of backstory as we go, or include a prologue, or get over your fear of flashbacks and use them judiciously. Crucially, give them a relationship to The Way Things Were and then use that relationship to make your reader upset for them.  Again, Toby Daye is a great example.  So is the Imperial Radch series by Anne Leckie.

Which brings me to seventh, which is that I am APPALLED that over the course of that entire goddamn book, there was not one single interpersonal relationship I ever came to give a damn about.  I think there was the girl, I think Kvothe might have had one (1) friend, I think there was a teacher?  And there was the kid Bast in the “modern” day, who I retained more of than literally anyone/anything else because he was the only person I gave a flying fuck about.  Again, I, the writer, am horrified about this, far more so than I, the reader.  The main thing that original content creators should take away from fanfic culture is that your readers will almost universally care more about the relationships between characters than anything else.  You are going to need a pretty balls-out crazy good universe and plot to smooth over a general lack of engaging relationships, and NotW just isn’t that good.  So, like, let that be a lesson.  I’m not recommending anything for this because this should be obvious.

EIGHTH, what...was the plot of the first book?  No, seriously, I was asking this when I finished it, too.  The only plot points I recall now are Kvothe deciding that he wanted to do The Magic, Kvothe conning his way into The School For The Magic (in, if I recall correctly, kind of a FMA ripoff?), something about a library for The Magic, a bunch of technical stuff about The Magic and Kvothe being an arrogant twit, and Kvothe getting whipped.  From what I remember, the entire book basically seemed to lead up to Kvothe getting whipped and ended shortly thereafter.  And, uh...how should I put this.  That’s.  Not a plot.  Again, that’s maybe a couple paragraphs of conversation between Kvothe and someone he cares about regarding the scars on his back, not an entire fucking novel.  Again, this should be obvious, I’m not recommending anything.

Anyway, TL;DR, NotW is ultimately a forgettable fantasy novel without anything in particular to distinguish it from a myriad of other unremarkably flawed fantasy novels, and I wouldn’t have any opinions on it whatsoever if people didn’t keep pitching it to me as the Second Coming of Tolkien, leGuin, McCaffrey, and fuck knows who else.  

A collection of the content I recommended here and why I recced them, plus some others:

Imperial Radch, Ann Leckie (unique scifi, excellent example of emotionally resonant flashbacks)

The Wrath and The Dawn, Renee Ahdieh (unique fairy tale retelling)

Stormdancer, Jay Kristoff (unique steampunk fantasy)

Sunshine, Robin McKinley (unique paranormal urban fantasy)

Kencyrath Chronicles, PC Hodgell (unique epic fantasy, well-executed fantasy cities and colleges)

Fullmetal Alchemist, Hiromu Arakawa (magic with a price, scientific magic, charmingly arrogant characters) (manga or Brotherhood anime)

October Daye, Seanan McGuire (magic with a price, emotionally resonant memories/prologue, well-executed urban locale)

Captive Prince, CS Pacat (charmingly arrogant/engagingly arrogant characters, well-executed political scheming)

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, dir. Guy Ritchie (charmingly arrogant characters, concise worldbuilding)

The Martian, Andy Weir (technical frontloading without being unreadable)

Sabriel, Garth Nix (technical magic and worldbuilding without losing character engagement)

Source and Shield Series, Moira J. Moore (unique urban non-Earth fantasy, charmingly arrogant characters, emotionally resonant conversations about the past)

Temeraire Series, Naomi Novik (technical worldbuilding without being unreadable, having a fucking plot in each book even if your overall plot is extremely big-picture and doesn’t show up until later)

The Wicked + The Divine, Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie (unique folklore retelling/urban fantasy, charmingly arrogant characters, having some fucking diversity)

#name of the wind bitching #writing #vernalseason #another episode of vagueblogging #SORT OF #i mean this is very explicitly me coming for patrick rothfuss' entire life #but if you look close enough you'll see me vagueblog about some other folks #book rec #kind of eventually at least #book unrec #i am SUPER SERIOUS about these complaints #the more i remember about this book the more conviction i have #but yeah anyway...uh...welcome to it #don't recommend name of the wind to me or you're just ASKING to hear me bitch #the rest of those books i've recommended (and the one movie and the comic series and the manga/anime) really are good for the things i've m #and obviously all of them have PLOTS and CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS and INTERESTING WRITING STYLES #so like THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THE NAME OF THE WIND #GET FUCKED ROTHFUSS #IF YOUR PLOT IS SO UNMEMORABLE I CAN'T EVEN RETAIN THE MAJOR POINTS YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG #anonymous #asked and answered

[lunar-years]

I think it’s hard for me with defending Keeley because like on one hand don’t talk bad about her you losers… but also like her season 3 sucked and the shows insistence that she’s flawless and she’s a successful girlboss with no back up evidence makes me sort of meh about her

You’re very valid for this. There’s no defending her season 3 plot, like I will never, ever be forgiving them for that 😭😭😭

I’ve been trying to do more self-reflecting lately before shouting “bad writing” because of the whole “was this actually bad writing or are you just upset that what you wanted to happen didn’t happen” thing. A problem which is admittedly. Ahem. Somewhat rampant in this fandom. Butttt I’m gonna be honest I still chalk so much of Keeley in season 3 up to genuinely terribly writing. like??? Separating her for the majority of the time from all the other characters we’ve cared about for two seasons, making her inexplicably bad at her job (if it was meant to be imposter syndrome they needed to like. Actually dive into that? What.), making Shandy a(n extremely long-winded) gag character instead of someone actually meaningful to Keeley’s growth, giving her no voice in the ending with Roy and Jamie (having whatever she said to them happen offscreen sure was a choice), having Rebecca’s money swoop in and easily solve her work issues, like…WHAT was the reason??? They even ruined her sense of style like they didn’t give my girl a break my GOD 😭😭

I also totally get the flawless girl boss complaint because I fucking hate when shows do that women. Like ughhh?? But something interesting to me about Ted Lasso is that many of the things they set many things up REALLY well and compellingly and then lost their own plot in the last half, lol. I’m thinking, for example, of how they clearly knew how many people would view beard/jane, because they had their other characters recognize and call out their problems ONSCREEN! The diamond dogs have a full ass conversation about how none of them actually like or support this relationship but don’t think it’s their place to say anything, and then Higgins is like actually no I think that’s stupid and I’m going to talk to my friend about how I think this relationship is harming him! And then he does! Even beard ignoring the advice is like. Okay, that’s realistic. The setup is equal parts messy and compelling!! But then it’s never addressed or brought up again and suddenly they’re getting married?!

Similarly, I think a lot of the ~flawless girlboss~ thing going on with Keeley is a perception other characters have of her that I actually think makes sense for those characters (such as Roy and Jamie) but isn’t actually reflective of Keeley herself even in what we do get to see onscreen. And the writers weirdly seem at least somewhat cognizant of this at the same time as they give her girlboss immunity in weird places? Like, she DOES have flaws, she falls into the same patterns of bad behavior across all three seasons, the writers are actually extremely consistent in having her make the same pitfalls. Rebecca literally calls her out on her actions multiple times (in headspace, and in season 3…). This all would have been perfect setup for a season 3 plot where Keeley finally runs her problems into the ground and is forced to confront them, while the characters who put her on a pedestal realize she isn’t perfect but that they love her anyway. The threads for this are THERE but never go anywhere!!! Keeley just ignores Rebecca’s advice, continues to make the same mistakes with no accountability or reckoning and then her problems are magically solved at closure. EURGH.

This leaves viewers to fill in all kinds of gaps and make up their own backstories and reasons, which I’m more than willing to do as someone who was a huge fan of Keeley to begin, but I can totally understand why many fans don’t care to go through the trouble to fix-it. Like if you were not super invested in her to begin with of course you’re going to see her as meh after s3. Her plot was undoubtedly shit.

I only get pissed when people complain about the wrong things and/or are just being misogynistic or biphobic or both. Like, calling her bisexuality unnecessary or out of nowhere, only caring that she didn’t get back together with Roy…on the opposite side a new one I’ve been seeing is going on about how she was actually terrible for Roy and he deserves better than her?? HELLO?! I’m the first to say she wasn’t perfect in that relationship but good god neither was Roy? Calling out just Keeley is crazy crazy and also why do these people hate women.

#look at how they massacred my girl #Keeley jones #sorry anon for the rant I am very passionate on the subject of Keeley jones #ted lasso #asks