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jeanbie · 1 year

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WORDLESS #1 ★ masterlist.

pairing: levi x reader

genre: sugar daddy & contract killer au | warnings: mentions of blood and violence, unconventional relationship, angsty themes, smoking mention, mature rating, potentially ooc levi | wc: 4.2k

note: there will be overall 5 parts to this series. see end for more notes ^^ could be a little bit ooc but it's all fiction anyway so lets use our imaginations :P btw i dont speak french so sorry to my french readers

★ ch1. ch2. ch3. ch4. ch5

⏤ Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Levi over the edge if he hears them again.

Now, it definitely was not a stretch to assume that everything in Levi’s life was indeed unconventional. People didn’t need to understand that what Levi did for work was something that, by the law, was considered unprofessional and inhumane, and so when asked, Levi sufficed for “clean-up work”, and questions weren’t asked. If they were, Levi came up with a slightly more conventional lie, to make up for the reality that was Levi working on the clock, killing nobodies for a bit of cash.

Erwin, his right-hand man, had expressed how unconventional Levi seemed to be over a dinner in Venice, a little restaurant tucked away unconventionally in a street that did not belong to America. Levi spoke four languages comfortably, and had parents retiring in the Canary Islands. Levi donated money to women’s charities and mental health services, and helped bribe his cousins into Ivy Leagues. Levi was a Joe-Exotic in the making and owned a rescue black panther named Elio, and had houses across the globe for use when working. And, Levi was dipping his toes into playing house with a sugar baby who was only five years younger than him, of whom he had met in a stakeout which involved the hit being on your brother’s head. Unconventionally, you led him to his target, and afterwards, dined with him in a Thai restaurant.

Things in Levi’s life were far from ordinary, but perhaps it was the denial of mundane comforts that kept Levi going. If he went back to normality, to working a shitty customer service job like when he was seventeen, dumping trash into overflowing piles behind the off-license he worked at, things wouldn’t be the same. Levi would feel alien, like he didn’t belong. At least here, amongst the pain and the bullets and the years worth of trauma packed in his wrinkles (which, yes, if he looks hard enough, he can see some cursing his twenty eight year old skin), Levi felt like he sort of belonged. In an unconventional way.

Having met Levi during his line of work, there were difficulties in being Levi’s sugar baby. For one, he always felt guilty for having murdered your brother, even though you heavily supported the hit. Your brother was a jerk, a bully with money, someone who had wronged your entire family, turned off your younger sister’s life support when there was a chance of her survival. Asshole, he deserved it. Secondly, Levi was impractical and irrational and often acted selfishly, meaning he was often out of the country on work, only available in whispers for a few hours and then he was gone, compensating with a few sums of cash.

He tried his best. Levi, despite technicalities including his work and his past and his occasional mean streak, genuinely cared about other people. When he could, he made the effort, otherwise not attempting to make promises to you that he could not keep. Levi knows that he got really lucky when he found you. You didn’t ask questions. Nobody was better for him.

However, Levi was selfish, and broken, and in refusal of fixing what was wrong with him. When it was of convenience, Levi drew comparisons to the last girlfriend he tried to entertain. One who wronged him, and died when he tried to repair everything she had destroyed. Levi carries that with him like the tattoos on his skin, a permanent memory, and something that often disturbs what could be and should be between the both of you.

Levi is worthy of love, and capable of loving. On days where Levi is free to lounge without the guilt of not working, you find it is so easy to love him. But, it can’t be that way. You couldn’t just tell him that. Telling him that you loved him would be inappropriately unconventional. Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Levi over the edge if he hears it again.

(1) Holding their hands when they are shaking.

Levi is in his living room, his right leg bouncing like a spring as he cradles an infant glass of whiskey. His eyes are glazed, yet wide, staring at the Seoul city draped in darkness and neon, and without even looking inside, you know that his brain is spinning, thoughts chaotic and loud.

“Hey,” you call out to him, and his eyes stutter to the left to catch you in the doorway, “I heard you get up. What’s wrong?”

Levi shakes his head gently. “Nothing, baby, go back to bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Levi often makes comments without expectancies. You stand in the doorway that connects the living room to the long hall that stems into bedrooms and bathrooms, and watch him for a moment. His whole body vibrates like a speaker, his hands trembling as the glass drains and he reaches for a second, or a third, or maybe a tenth. You want to sigh, without being patronising, but you know that any sign of sympathy is mistaken for that whenever Levi is around to make the judgement.

He looks back to the skyline and frowns, his attention panning from the window to his phone that buzzes blue, but he ignores. Stepping across the cool wooden floorboards, you approach him sleepily and take a seat next to him on the sofa. Neither of you move, but he recognises you’ve moved. He bristles slightly, like it was unexpected.

“You can take your time,” you suggest to him, and his hands ache in his lap as he sets the glass down on the coffee table with a careless thud. He scoffs, devoid of emotion, and dips his head so his chin is near his collarbones. In his lap, those hands shake. “Maybe don’t drink so much tonight.”

“I’m clearing my head,” he insists weakly. Those hands still shake.

Brows creased with a pinch, you swallow the unease and reach for his hands. Levi doesn’t say anything as you do so, enveloping his hands in yours, and so suddenly the shaking ceases. Like trying to block the shakes from reaching his wrists, your hands keep his safe.

“I know,” you understand honestly, because you do know what he’s going through. “How about tea, or something? To calm down, calm down the mess that’s up in there.”

Your chin is on his shoulder, and he smiles softly. “Are you calling me messy?”

“Nah, I’m calling your brain messy,” you reply. “It’s a cruel fucking brain.”

“Hate my brain.”

“Today, we hate it.”

Levi’s head turns slightly so that he can see you, and in his lap, his thumbs brush across your skin.

“Thank you,” Levi says quietly, attempting a smile that doesn’t quite convince. It doesn’t necessarily have to, not tonight anyway. His phone continues to flash like a light show, Erwin’s name in bold. “Fuck. I’ll take the call, and then I’ll come back to bed, okay?”

You nod, “Mm, okay. Want me to make a drink?”

“I don’t need it,” Levi concludes. “Not today.”

(2) Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

Sometimes Levi wakes up in the night due to nightmares, but tonight, it’s different.

Beside him, you stir uncomfortably and kick his leg for the fourth time. He huffs and looks over, trying to figure out if you’re awake and indignant, or lost in the dream. He settles on the latter when you strain out the name of your brother and his heart swoops with a dull ache.

“You’re just dreaming, baby, come on,” Levi mutters quietly into your ear, holding you in place to calm the thrashing. “He’s not here anymore, I’m here. Y/N.”

It subsides after a few minutes, making it the longest you’ve gone on record. He looks into your sleepy, upset eyes as you break awake and brushes the hair out of your face. He tries to smile for you, and maybe you can’t see in the dark.

“I’ll get you some water,” Levi suggests gently. “Hm? Sweet thing. It’s just a dream.” He says this into your hair in a hug, leaving a kiss on your temple as he breaks. “You’re fine.”

“I’m fine,” you breathe uneasily, and he separates to get a glass of water and returns to find you sleeping again. What relief Levi might have is exhaled as he sets the glass on the bedside table, stroking your hair until he moves away with the sudden realisation that this is not a normal exchange.

Before Levi decides to leave again, he makes sure the bed is made and that you are safe; he tucks the duvet in tightly and presses a kiss to your forehead before grabbing his coat by the front door and leaving your apartment, one tucked in the city so far that Levi finds it a hassle to visit.

(3) Travelling long distances just to see them.

For three days now, you have been in Colmar, and Levi is beginning to feel lonely. It had been his idea to send you away, when the heat on his long, long feud with a rival colleague threatened your safety. In return, you got a new apartment that Erwin had found closer to Levi’s own when your address got leaked, and Colmar could be considered a vacation if you pretended for long enough.

With tensions cool and the coast somewhat clear, Levi picks the skin around his fingernails as a distraction before deciding that enough was enough. He missed you, and missed how you were always around for him when he needed you most. This is what drives him to jumping on a plane in his company’s name, and flying to France.

A small boat passes underneath the bridge you are standing on, and your hands dig into the barrier as you arch to smile at the tourists beneath. One catches a glimpse of your denim skirt and cherry print blouse in the sunshine and extends his hat with a wave, and you wave back. France is nothing like Seoul, and is indeed warm and fruitful and unique. The sun is hot, the sky is clear, and the streets are filled with an atmospheric buzz of friendliness, the smell of coffee and some food you don’t know yet entrapping your senses.

“Madame, je peux vous prendre en photo?”

Hearing the voice, you turn your body left and prepare to face the tourist, but instead you are welcomed with the sight of Levi dressed in black, sunglasses sliding down his nose with a smile. He does hold a camera in his hands, although teasingly.

“Oui,” you quip, posing cutely and Levi takes a photograph anyway, to humour the moment, to print when he gets back to Seoul. You join his laughter as he peers at the photograph and he walks without looking up towards you.

“When did you get here?” you ask him, a round of laughter from the little boat making you turn to stare at them with a giggle.

“Bout an hour ago,” Levi replies, and he shuts off the camera and puts it in his coat pocket. It’s only a small camera, probably cost him a crumb to buy from a vintage store. He meets your eyes with a comfortable smile and rounds in, pressing your lower back against the bridge barrier and circling your arms around you. Carefully, then, he kisses you, tasting the suncream on your skin as his lips wander from yours to the skin around your face.

“Miss me?”

“Terribly,” Levi responds. “I am so bored when you’re not around. You always have something to do, always have something to say.”

You hum in response. “I’m glad I’m of some entertainment for you.”

“Oh, for sure,” agrees Levi. “I don’t think I’ve used my brain so often when I’m away from work as much as I do when I’m with you. Did you know that you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met?”

“Wow,” you exclaim with a smile. “Hire me.”

“Ha!” he remarks, kissing you again and taking your hand in his. He moves, back in the way you came. “Over my dead body.”

(4) Making their favourite meal when they are having a hard day.

“You.”

“Not now, Y/N, I’m working,” Levi replies non committedly. He fists his hair.

“Not up for discussion right now,” you huff, and he has the nerve to glare at you which only makes you uncomfortably angry. “You haven’t eaten in fourty eight hours, and I’m not about to be held responsible for your death when you die of hunger, so get your ass in the kitchen before I dump this food over your stupid head.”

He challenges you. “You’re brave talking to somebody who could destroy your life like that.”

“Do it, I literally have nothing to lose,” you answer. “Please eat something. I made it with love and care.”

Levi relents, sighing at his paperwork but nonetheless moving away from his home office and following you like a child towards the direction of the kitchen. He feels bad, you know he feels bad, and he circles his arms around your body as you walk, stumbling into the space of the kitchen and smelling the familiar aroma of pork rice stew. Alas, he sees the bowl steaming in his spot at the table and his eyes follow you as you hum and set start to washing the dishes.

“Y/N-”

“No words, just eating,” you instruct. “Bone apple teet.”

He takes a seat. “You know that’s not the phrase, right?”

“Tell that to the Internet,” you sigh.

(5) Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.

Levi prefers to see you when he doesn’t have work the next day, because leaving when you’re asleep is an asshole move in any dictionary. So, when one of his men phones him at four in the morning and relays the horror that someone’s died on his property, Levi has to fight the demons that almost convince him to hand the job over to somebody who gives a fuck about the intruder stuck on his barbed fence.

He gets up, anyway.

Next to him, in the bed that belongs to you because this is your new apartment, Levi stares down at you and feels a tug in his stomach. Guilt, it follows him everywhere like a ghost.

Before he leaves, he likes to give you a little kiss for the morning, so the tingling sensation reminds you that despite being an asshole and leaving without properly saying goodbye, he still gives several shits about you, and will be back when he can be.

(6) Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.

Levi wants to hang Erwin for making him remember the reasons why you had to move across the city to a new apartment.

It had, of course, been Levi’s fault, and when the notification came from an exhausted worker in his line of work that the alarm system in your apartment had been triggered for an intruder, Levi remembers all he saw was red.

The front door was forced open, a body indent in the wood and the front porch ransacked and littered with shards of glass and bullets. Inside was no prettier, with mess scattered everywhere and photos smashed on the floors. The carpets were stained with red that Levi prayed was just wine, the glass coffee table in two pieces and a knife covered in red on the floor. Levi and his men, along with the few police officers Levi could actually trust in this god-forsaken hellhole, noticed that the blood belonged to one of the intruders who lay dead on the stairs.

Nobody knows how Levi got through the apartment so fast, and why, without any hesitation, he murdered the remaining intruders without suggesting questioning and torture. That was his go-to when it rarely concerned you. He wanted those stupid enough to even try and go after you to really fucking regret it as he picked off fingernails and made them suffer for hours or days. This time he just killed, and moved onwards, calling your name like a mantra.

Levi could have cried when you emerged, petrified, from inside one of the closets. Upon seeing you, Levi collapsed his gun on the floor and stepped towards you protectively, pulling you in tightly for a hug. Sobbing into his neck, you hugged him tighter, feeling finally safe when his hand held the back of your head, like you were a precious thing that was of value.

You were of the highest value to Levi.

“Fuck you,” Levi barks suddenly, and Erwin shrugs and exits the office. All he had asked was if he loved you.

(7) Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.

There might be the assumption that Levi comes home with more bruises than you do. Which is true, technically, and there’s no hesitation from your end in nursing them to a comfortable recovery.

On rare occasion, Levi comes home and finds you exhibiting a new purple blob on your skin. Like today.

Levi hasn’t seen you in two days, and when he lets himself into your apartment with the key he has glued to him at all times, he follows the silence and light to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of your bathtub, gently rubbing cream on your knee in little circles.

“What happened here?” he asks quickly, and you continue rubbing with your tongue poking out between your lips.

“You’ll laugh, don’t ask,” you mutter.

“Hey, I won’t laugh,” Levi says. He rests his weight against the doorframe, “You open the front door the wrong way again?”

Ha! You laugh humourlessly. “Worse!” You look up at him sadly, “I tripped in the parking lot carrying my groceries. It’s on camera and everything, I want to die.”

Levi pokes the inside of his mouth to resist laughing. “Well, fuck. That’s your leg ruined.”

“I know,” you pout. “Good thing you’re my sugar daddy- wanna pay for cosmetic leg surgery?”

“I like your bruised up legs,” says Levi.

“Me too, but not these ones.”

“Jesus, that’s enough cream on your skin,” Levi exclaims, moving forward to snatch the cream from your hands. “More is not better. Come on, you’re okay.”

“It hurts.”

“Boohoo,” he sighs. You don’t move. “Ugh, whatever. Come’re.”

Levi drops the cream tube onto the sink but it clatters into the bowl. He’ll move it later if he remembers to, and he pretends it’s hard to pick you up off the bathtub and carries you swiftly out of the bathroom and into the living room. Things have barely moved since he last came to visit; the swarms of paper still invade your coffee table and your laptop is on sleep mode by a half-empty coffee cup filled with hot chocolate, because he knows your standing on coffee. Everything is a lot messier now that you’ve decided you want to go back to school, but at least Levi knows it keeps you busy when he’s away.

“Oh,” he says suddenly, as you’re sat down with one leg up around him still. He pokes at a spot on your leg and you squirm, “there’s another one.”

You peer to look, “Oh, yeah, that one’s you.”

“Oh.” He pauses, “Pretty, though.”

You huff like a little baby and he dares you with raised eyebrows. That keeps you silent and Levi moves his body at an angle to the right, sweeping to kiss the bruise better, the bruise that he made a few nights ago with tender love and care.

“All better,” he assures.

“It feels better already.”

“Mm. Magic.”

(8) Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.

“So, I was at a school fayre today.”

“Really?” Levi sits with his laptop on his legs, and your legs are tangled around his body like some sort of jungle maze. He rarely works on his bed, not unless the work is sudden and he can’t help it. You’ve just come in, dived on the bed and claimed his waist as something to squeeze your legs around.

“Yep. Like, one of those little craft things where students sell their shit and make money from it. You know, supporting local artists! It’s really cute, if I was good at something I’d have participated.”

Levi thinks of things you’re good at, and there’s a lot. “Aw. There’s always next year.”

“Yeah,” you reason. “Anyway- point is, is that I got you something.”

Levi stills for a second, glancing over his right shoulder to see you, “Me?”

“Yep. You.”

“What did you get?” he asks, and then he’s back to checking blueprints.

You untangle your legs and slide off the bed, retreating to your bag slung across the room by the bedroom door. From here, you take out a small little pin-badge and when you’re sat next to Levi again, you fiddle with it until it catches his attention.

“What’s this?” asks Levi.

“It’s a badge of honour,” you claim, and you slip it into his palms. He fingers the front when he examines it, reading the little words of “Number One Dad” and he stares up at you. “Like it?”

“It’s for me?” he asks again.

“Yeah. You can wear it and like, I don’t know, think of me,” you shrug.

Levi thinks for a moment. Even though it’s stupid, and cliche and a little bit embarrassing, he still thinks it’s funny and thoughtful.

“Want me to wear it to work?” he asks you.

“Oh, absolutely,” you encourage. “I’ll get your friend Erwin an uncle badge if he wants one. He's a nice guy.”

“Hey, you’re mine and he’s not allowed a relationship to you, no matter what definition,” Levi mutters. “He wants a sugar niece, well…he’ll have to look somewhere else.”

You gape. “Wow. Who thought you had it in you to be so possessive.”

“Please, with a pussy like that of course I’m possessive,” he teases. He’s joking.

“My power,” you sigh anyway, and jump off the bed claiming that you’re hungry. Levi looks at the badge again and pops it in his breast pocket before he loses it and regrets it.

(9) Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.

Levi’s bored out of his brain.

He has no idea how you can be so fascinated by this stupid game where you’re essentially in debt, but he still sits and watches you tour him around this weird island that is inhabited by ducks and an ugly gorilla villager dressed in pink. And to think that he had a part to play in all of this, because his bank account definitely helped pay for this Nintendo Switch and game.

“Do you like my beach?” you ask him. It’s literally just sand and one coconut tree, and a few shells by the water. Oh, there’s a beach chair on there too, but it makes little difference. “I’m poor, I can’t afford furniture yet.”

“Can’t you just make it?”

“I can, but I’m sick of making axes to collect wood,” you explain with a grudge against the fact that tools now break in this Animal Crossing game. Levi hums like he’s invested, and he tries to be, because he cares about you too much to unintentionally hurt your feelings by displaying his crippling disinterest.

“Oh. Makes sense.”

“Can I show you my hybrid flower garden?”

He sighs. “Yeah, you wanted to show me all of your island, right?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Once you’ve had a tour, I can make you a profile and you can play too. You can live next door to me!”

“Why can’t we share a house?” Levi presses.

“Because I don’t think it works like that, babe,” you confess. “Anyway. Here’s my garden.”

(10) Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.

He’s tired. You’re tired.

The radio plays quietly updating Seoul on the fires that spread across the city today, and Levi smells like smoke and salt. He keeps his head down as he eats his meal, something he brought home with him to make up for the fact that he’s been absent for almost a week now. You have so many things to say and he has so many things he needs to say to make up for everything, but nothing is said tonight.

You know he’s having a hard time, because Levi’s been smoking again. He smoked on the balcony earlier, and once again in the bedroom. There are now ashtrays around your own apartment, and you don’t even smoke. Levi takes a drink of bourbon and swallows it dry.

You look up at him from across the table, not wanting to press the issue when you know it’ll end in an argument, and then sex to make up for it. You’re both too tired to fuck today, too tired to speak. Just being in each other’s company is enough for tonight. The only words he says are goodnight and something you don’t catch as you’re drifting off to sleep. Levi’s awake all night, the fires burn until early hours, and the smoke smell is still there in the morning even when he isn’t.

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ask-the-boxing-family · 2 months

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MEET THE FAMILY!

Mackenzie “Mac” Reyes

17 yrs old

Italian-American

The Bronx, New York

“The ex-champion of Branch A in the WVBA, and the youngest champion to date of the boxing league, came back from retirement after the events of Punch-Out!! 2009 and is now living a double life as a boxer and an engineering student. In the ring, Mac is a force to be reckoned with: he uses his small stature to his advantage with an evasive style of boxing and a high amount of stamina, countering all that comes his way. And of course, he still knows how to use the Star Punch learnt from his coach. He comes across as fierce and stoic, not allowing anyone to get under his skin and putting everything he has into a match. However, outside of the boxing gig, Mac is a kind of rowdy yet sweet boy. Though he might still be trying to appear tough, he’s undoubtedly quite the dork. Unfortunately, Mac does have a problem with his temperament: he’s easily wound up, and is more prone to getting annoyed or irritated than most. Though, he tries to keep his temper in check. He is best friends/has a brotherly relationship with Birdie and has a father-son relationship with Doc. Go ahead and ask the boy wonder himself all your burning questions!”

Pietro “Birdie” Rodriguez

19 yrs old

Italian-Hispanic

Staten Island, New York

“The current champion of Branch B’s Special Circuit. He earned the nickname ‘Birdie’ thanks to his bright blonde hair. The only son of the legendary Peter Perfect, one of Branch B’s past champions, he took the challenge of conquering Branch B to honor his father after his passing. After becoming the champion, he decided to shed the name Peter Punch and took on the role of Canary Carnage, his current boxing persona which he feels a more lively connection to. Birdie is a laid-back guy who goes with the flow of life, not easily bothered or angered. And though he is impulsive and fairly dim-witted, he has a good heart and always wants to do what’s right for himself and the people around him. Him and Mac are practically attached at the hip and love spending whatever time they can together, both being the only individuals that can really bring out a playful side of each other. If ya got questions for him, go ahead and ask!”

Oswald “Sandman” Evans

31 yrs old

Philidelphian

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

“Having regained his World Circuit title after losing it to Mac, and a short break from boxing, he’s back in the game and better than ever. Sandman is straightforward and honest, never afraid to speak his mind on whatever needs speaking on. He’s also rather stern and puts his foot down when he feels it necessary, but otherwise is rational and kind of witty at times. And though he can be downright terrifying in the ring with a fairly villainous persona, it’s really just for the crowd. He’s the eldest brotherly figure to both Mac and Birdie, keeping them in check whenever he’s around, which isn’t often thanks to his champion status. Unfortunately, Sandman does have the habit of not being too humble. Seemingly being a natural prodigy at most activities he does, he may be a bit of a sore loser when faced with loss. But, don’t worry, he’s not unreasonable. It should also be noted that Sandman does suffer from an incurable respiratory disease known as Dreamdust Syndrome that he’s consistently medicated for. Worry not, it’s not fatal, but it is liable to act up at any time. If you ever wanted to ask Sandman anything about his boxing or personal life, now’s your chance.”

Jerome “Doc” Louis

58 yrs old

African-American

???

“The coach and fatherly figure of the boys, and close friend of Mr. Sandman. Doc is an old-fashioned fellow, still having a lot of boxing paraphernalia from back in his hay day. He’s a nurturing and witty older man, quite street smart and brimming with advice just waiting to be shared. Though Doc is a fairly busy bee when it comes to working for the WVBA, he tries to make time for his boys to spend time with them and check on how they’re doing. Though a kind fatherly figure, he makes sure to keep them in line and get stern when he needs to, but he doesn’t do too well with scolding. Doc does also have a couple of health problems that come with time, namely low blood sugar, which is precisely why Doc always has so many chocolate bars on him. If ya got anythin’ for this ol’ Doc, go ahead and ask away!”

RULES:

- No NSFW whatsoever. C’mon y’all, let’s keep it clean.

- Certain asks may take time depending on what they are so please be patient! Thanks!

With that outta the way, the ask blog is OPEN!

#punch out #punch out wii #super punch out #pietro rodriguez #mackenzie reyes #little mac #birdie mac #oswald evans #mr sandman #doc louis #jerome louis #ask blog #punch out ask blog

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whumpacabra · 1 month

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48. Fastforward

Fluff, timeskip [10-15 years], cold temperatures, dog mention, referenced memory issues, referenced protectiveness, referenced legal proceedings, referenced past character death, fictional politics

AU Masterpost / Previous

“One hot chocolate, extra cream, and one black coffee, two sugars.”

“That’s me - thanks!” Harrison perked up, snagging the drinks from the counter with a polite smile. The barista gave him a wink. “I hope it goes well. He’s quite handsome.”

Harrison flushed, thankful his dark skin helped hide the blush as he thanked her again and left the cafe.

Wolf was waiting outside, Jakki, his service dog, sitting patiently on the snowy sidewalk.

“That was faster than expected.” Wolf hummed, walking with Harrison toward the park. Harrison sipped at his drink, mittened hands a bit clumsy.

“Yeah, I think the barista rushed it - she thought I was taking you on a date or something.” His laugh wasn’t quite genuine, and he knew Wolf could tell.

“I guess it kind of is. In more of a ‘long time, no see’ date than a first date way.” Wolf paused, Jakki tense at his side as a snowball whizzed past his face. A few university students engaged in the first shots of a snowball fight hollered apologies and politely held their fire until Harrison, Wolf, and the dog had made their way past the danger zone.

“Speaking of, how’s Finland?”

“Colder than here in Geneva, if you can imagine.”

“Ugh, I’d rather not. It’s cold enough here as it is.” He didn’t miss the desert, but he wasn’t fond of the icy air this time of year.

“How’s Katie and Awesome?”

“Good - great, honestly. They’re thinking of signing up for Doctors Without Borders for a bit, once Eli’s at his new boarding school fulltime.” A sad smile twitched at Harrison’s face, both at the current prospects and the nephew named for a dear dead friend.

(Somehow, despite everything - the court case of the century, the US tried in The Hague - the truth of Elias’ death never came up. Nor did Merrick’s, for that matter. Harrison tried not to dwell on it; his hands and Wolf’s both bloodied, but no good would come from guilt now.)

“How’s Mel? I heard she was back in the States recently.”

“Yeah, doing reparation work out there with Jennings and the nations. Walker’s there too, mostly just to keep on eye out I think, but she’d say it’s a vacation.”

“Once an agent, always an agent.” Wolf huffed, breath puffing white in the clean, cold air. His face was rounder, more color in his face than Harrison ever remembered. No matter how dark and dreary Finland was, somehow Wolf always looked fresh from a trip to the Mediterranean.

“How about you? How are things going with…?”

“Good. Better.” His smile wasn't quite genuine, and he knew Harrison could tell. “Memory is back, mostly. On good days. Jakki’s been a good help for bad ones.”

The Australian blue heeler perked at her name, but still seriously scanned their surroundings. Her vest was a vibrant neon orange, insulated against the cold.

“And how’s everyone else up there?” Harrison wasn’t sure what details Wolf could spare. He was vaguely aware that Liza, and Casey to an extent, couldn’t quite leave behind their grifts and cons. RJ was a bit of a wildcard, either deeply invested in some obscure hobby or casually taking assassination jobs. He sincerely hoped it was the former. And Ghost…

“They’re fine. Case and RJ are out in the Canary Islands with Liza - retirement party for her. Or so she promises. For real this time.” Wolf shook his head with a smile, dark hair shining and snow speckled. His smile faded a bit. “And Ghost…he’s trying.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Harrison took a long sip from his drink, busying himself with watching the ice rink. There were dozens of skaters, some elegant and some markedly less so.

“He’s just…protective is all. Maybe a bit paranoid. And smothering.” Wolf was clearly trying to work humor into his words, so Harrison offered a snort of amusement. “I’ve been arguing with him about this trip for two months.”

“Really?” Harrison raised a brow. He knew the old mercenary was…still dealing with the guilt of what had happened to his former friend and protege. Harrison didn’t realize quite how badly he was overcompensating for lost time.

“Arguing might be too strong a word, but he certainly took some convincing.” Wolf sipped at his coffee. “But we both agreed we could use some…space.”

“If there’s anything I can help with, let me know.” The words were almost automatic. Harrison didn’t even need to say them - it was a given. The two families - one (mostly) civilian, one (not entirely) criminal - had each others’ back over the years, from legal paperwork to therapy sessions.

“I appreciate that, Harrison.” Wolf sighed, leaning into him slightly where they stood watching the skating rink. Jakki huffed at a stranger who passed a little too closely. “I was actually thinking about - if you don’t mind - living down here for a while.”

“Yes - yeah, sure. That’s fine. I mean, hey, if Katie and Awesome do go abroad for a bit I wouldn’t mind having someone else in the house.” Harrison smiled up at him, hoping his excitement and relief wasn’t too noticeable. The way Wolf smiled down at him proved it was, but he didn’t care too much.

“Ghost will want to visit. Often, unfortunately.” The warning in Wolf’s voice was joking.

“We’ve got a guest bedroom. I mean, assuming you don’t mind sharing a room with me or - ”

“I’d like that.” Wolf’s voice was soft, a gloved hand gently taking hold of Harrison’s own mittened fingers. Harrison squeezed back, not letting go even as they started walking home.

AU Masterpost / Previous

(An AU of my Freelancers series)

Taglist: @i-eat-worlds @whumpy-daydreams @stargeode

#whump #fluff #recovery #post timeskip #cold temperatures #memory issues #protectiveness #past character death #fictional politics #idk how to tag for wolf+Harrison’s queer platonic whatever they’ve got going on.#freelancers au #…I wanna do a behind the scenes post abt this au later #a writer I adore did one with cut scenes+explaining Easter eggs and stuff and I LOVED it #it’s just….too much to put in the tags. what this au means to me. all the little details it feels like only I know about. the stuff I cut.#this has been…wild. and fun. and so so cathartic. I appreciate any of y’all reading along to this personal pet project of mine :]

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minglana · 10 months

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Didn't Franco tliterally ried to turn the Balears and Andalusia into hotspots for hippy drug-loving tourists so people outside would ease on calling him a dictator and also as a way to go after the natives there (especially the Balear Catalans)? No idea if the AirBNBfication of the Canary Islands is something modern or was also made in the same period.

well it all started in the 60s and 70s, to make spain seem open and "see theres no dictatorship here, what are you talking about, don't you see how amazing this country and it's (mediterranean) beaches are :) no human rights violations to see here!" with the spain is different slogan. it even gave us the image of the prime minister of tourism, manuel fraga, bathing in a beach that had just had a hydrogen bomb incident, to dispel rumors of contamination.

this entire tourism situation is also the cause of so many apartment buildings being built in questionable places, and the entirety of benidorm being the way it is (2nd city in the world w the most skyscrapers, for example). this was also a disaster for environmental conservation, as it has destroyed many pristine beaches and other territory. in some places theres also communities of (mainly) german and english people where EVERYTHING is catered towards them. its an entire community and its treated as a playground, many of these people are retired and have come here to live their retired life, in a sunny place, with all the commodities of being back home (not having to learn a different language, not having to adapt to a foreign culture, etc). when i went to benidorm not that long ago, a lot of the establishments were in english, for english tourists.

this is like a super quick overview and doesnt even begin to cover it, but yeah, you had the right idea, anon. i also dont know much about the canary islands except that theyre also overrun with tourists (especially germans). but i would guess that the tourism started around the same time that it started in the mediterranean coast

(and just as a side note i think "balear catalans" wouldnt be the correct way to refer to them, just balearic. they speak catalan, yes, but theyre balearic)

#preguntas #anon

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evita-shelby · 2 years

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Wanderlust

Gif by @thomasshelbyltd

Tommy’s always loved traveling.

Its your Romani blood, his mother used to tell him.

No, its his Traveller’s blood, his father used to argue making his mother laugh.

It’s the both of you who can’t settle in one fucking place, Polly used to add before they arrived at 6 Waterly Lane. A house that didn’t meet teenage Polly’s standards.

He is twenty-five when he leaves England for the first time.

Tommy always thought he’d see the world one day, with Greta by his side. Go to New York, Paris, Rome and all those places he only sees in books.

His stay in France was hell on earth that made him long for his bed, for the leaking roof, the window that doesn’t open and the grime of Small Heath.

City of Lights, more like City of Death.

“I wanted to go to France but too many people I screwed over live there now.” Eva tells him as they talk about their travels. “Not that Small Heath doesn’t have its charms, it just never seemed like I would ever come here.”

“We could go there, once the company takes off. I’ll make sure your enemies can’t hurt you.” He suggests.

They have been married for a month and neither have felt regret over it. Tommy dreads the day Eva wakes up regretting she ever married him.

“Maybe, hopefully some of them die or move to some other country by then. My friends used to go on and on about Paris.”

By the time Tommy reached his retirement, they’ve had their fair share of travel.

They’ve gone to the Canary Islands, Morocco, France, Spain, Mexico and islands in the Caribbean.

But they aren’t satisfied yet.

Eva thinks their wanderlust will only end when they die.

He laughs and agrees.

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #oc fanfiction #peaky blinder fanfic

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benis-chillin · 1 year

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Sonic Wolf 6 Profiles: Raccoon the Bear

Alright gamers, we're back at it again with our boy, Raccoon the Bear!

If you wish to first learn about Jack: https://www.tumblr.com/benis-chillin/704396379625291776/sonic-wolf-6-profiles-jack-the-wolf?source=share

And Cyber: https://www.tumblr.com/benis-chillin/704803828992720896/sonic-wolf-6-profiles-cyber-the-canary?source=share

There you go.

Anyway, let's get this show on the road!

Name: Raccoon the Bear

Age: Unknown, but presumably in the 15-17 age bracket.

Bio: Raised by wild animals on a remote jungle island, devoid of any civilized contact, Raccoon lived free until Eggman tore through it as part of his world conquest. Eventually, Jack found him ripping through Badniks with his bare hands and teeth while on a recon mission there, and managed to quickly gain his trust by giving some of his rations to the starving creature(Raccoon had been trying to eat the Badniks to no avail). Jack was able to very quickly teach Raccoon how to understand spoken language, and while he IS able to form basic noises(like saying "Ja" when addressing Jack, and "Cy" when addressiing Cyber), his throat is too accustomed to growling to actually speak. Jack compromised by teaching him sign language instead, a skill taught to him by Sarah. This is how he gained the name Raccoon, insisting that was his name(In actuality, it's a slight mistranslation from someone new to sign language, and Raccoon just decided to stick with it), and the two soon became a duo in the Eggman war, with Jack having some affection for him as a caretaker. Eventually, they found Cyber, and the three retired to the Mystic Ruins after the war ended, with Jack deciding on that area to give Cyber some privacy, and because he didn't want Raccoon missing the freedom of a jungle to roam around in(though it WAS Raccoon's decision to stay with Jack in the civilized world). Currently, Jack is trying to teach Raccoon how to read, but progress is going very slowly on that. Due to his upbringing, Raccoon has enhanced senses and reflexes, but is very animalistic in his behavior, acting somewhat similarly to a dog(though Jack and Cyber have collaborated to teach him stuff like table manners). He has a plush Chao backpack called Lady Chao that he takes whenever he has to ride a vehicle, since he otherwise gets very nervous.

Raccoon's creation is two-fold. Firstly, like Jack and Cyber, he has his origins in the Sonic Forces OC maker, inspired by the bare hands and feet mod I found while looking through various Sonic skins on Gamebanana. If this character became canonical, I imagine Sega would mandate some sandals be slapped on this boy, since they don't seem fond of their blob-footed furries wandering around unshod(something I think a few Sonic OC artists could afford to be mindful of), but all of the sandals in Forces are, quite frankly, hideous, so we're leaving them off for now.

(Though on that note, the toes are just part of the mod. I don't consider them canonical)

Anyway, I found it funny to just run a character through a war zone like that, so I started using the mod for my own amusement. It was when i stuck the Chao backpack on that I started thinking of the character, and the idea of them being more animalistic than their comrades in the Eggman War took hold here. But how would that affect their perspective?

So I looked to my real life for inspiration on that.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is my dog PJ. A big, black Newfoundland who, despite being a complete dumbass, inspired the majority of Raccoon's characterization.

Basically, PJ likes to people-watch. She'll sit at our fence for as long as you'll let her and just watch the neighbors do their business. And she's clearly paying attention to what they're doing, having her own thoughts about how people work. She likely has a concept of cars and how they work, but I began to wonder how she looked at society. Does she understand electricity? Is this just some kind of magic that she accepts? That was my hook, my in to this character's perspective. A completely uncivilized creature of the jungle, suddenly discovering the civilized world for the first time. A primitive scholar, of sorts?

From there, the character and his abilities came together cleanly. Super strength, based off of PJ's own stubborn strength, sharp teeth, like she has, Lady Chao was chosen based off of her own love of pink pig toys(and her pink harness), and other such traits of PJ's that I thought would fit well within the framework of a Sonic story. However, his tendency to vocalize with growls was inspired by another dog of mine, Fred Jr(don't laugh, we were in a period of deep mourning when we got him).

But since I'm not a complete dumbass, I recognized that he'd probably need a way of communicating with others, which is why I added in the sign language for both him and Cyber. I probably could've given these characters regular speaking voices, but it didn't feel right when I built them in my head, so I left them as not traditionally verbal. With Raccoon especially, it gives him a near-constant separation from interacting with society, which I think serves for interesting character stuff.

So yeah, that's Raccoon. A bit less going on with him vs the other two, but that's his point, really. Jack is the stern and serious leader, Cyber is the supportive, light-hearted middle to the group, and Raccoon is the cute kid who can easily get ferocious if provoked. I do plan on developing Raccoon a bit more in the future, but we'll just have to see how that pans out.

So anyway, join us next time for the members of Jack's team(well, the ones I've bothered naming), with Wolf 6!

If you wish to read these stories:

The full Wolf 6 collection: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2802334

And his highlight story made to promote Then and Now: https://www.tumblr.com/benis-chillin/698685171165184000/subject-has-been-reported-to-interfere-with-eggman

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fan character #sonic fanfiction #sonic oc #sonic wolf 6 posts

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mercerislandbooks · 1 year

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50 Years of Island Books: Roger Page, Part 1

Roger Page says even though his wife Nancy’s successful wedding floral business was more profitable than Island Books in the early days, they committed to Island Books because the scheduling and lifestyle were a better fit for having a family. Nancy Page would tell you that her final and most enjoyable career was the 15 years she spent working at Island Books. These days both Pages are enjoying their retirement, still reading plenty of books and traveling to visit those not-so-small children, Emma and Lewis, who were the deciding factor in ownership of Island Books all those years ago.

Miriam: Roger, tell me what it was like during the first month you owned Island Books. Did you have a moment that made you realize what you could bring to the community?

Roger: Remembering the first month of owning Island Books is hard. It's a bit like the frog in the boiling water story. You sit in the pot for a long time enjoying the warmth, and suddenly, you realize you're the one being cooked. In 1984 I called every bookstore in Seattle looking for a "Christmas season" job, and Island Books was the only one that called back. I did realize in the first month that I was very lucky to have landed in a much-loved bookstore on an affluent island. I was the only male and only full-time employee among 19 well-educated part-time women. Everyone was recognized, everyone was appreciative, and everyone really read. The bookstore felt big, full of surprises, and full of energy.

I decided to stay on and went to something called Bookseller School the next spring. Full of "new ideas," I returned, and thanks everlasting to the generous and kind three women (Marge Wilkens, Fam Bayless, and Elinor MacDonald) that ran the store, they made space for me and entertained my ideas. I didn't deserve a seat at the table, but I think it was easier to deal with me than all their friends that worked with them. After a year, I was titled "floor manager," I focused on streamlining the systems, culling the aging inventory, and rebuilding sagging shelves. The customers were great, but not friends yet and there was much to be simplified, for the store had suffered a bit from too many cooks. I was single and willing to heft, nail, or come in early or late.

After six years, I really felt I had found my calling, and I was married to Nancy, the wedding florist, who came to work at the store later down the road in 2000. As we began to think about a family, I approached the ladies about buying in, and they again took a generous and gracious turn and said they would back me if I wanted to take the reins alone. So with a Volkswagen bus as collateral, we had a lovely afternoon drinking fine Washington wine and signing the papers at the Bayless home. What changed in the first few months of owning the store was that the community began to recognize me.

I had a role and a responsibility to maintain the standards of hospitality and good books. Honestly, supported by the ladies, I felt confident and excited and loved making real friends of all ages and stripes. I (and eventually Nancy) had fallen into the arms of a big warm family, and I loved coming to work and unlocking the door each morning.

Miriam: Tell me about when the unmentionable online and big box retailers came on the scene. What were the in-store clues that wisdom and humanity could endure up against the algorithms?

Roger: My time at Island Books from the late eighties to 2015 parallels the most dramatic period of change in the history of the book retail industry. In some ways, we were the canary in the coal mine for a set of revolutions in the information industry and general retail. When I started, we were in the mom-and-pop store era of bookstores. This model led to great diversity, strong community ties, and low competition between stores. People (especially people on Mercer Island) had their store, and the store was catering to that community as much as making a profit.

Everything began to shift in the late eighties. First, it was a trickle of Walden and B. Dalton chain stores in Seattle. I wrote a now prescient memo—you can look at our old blog post about that infamous memo here—

https://mercerislandbooks.tumblr.com/post/62015474728/island-books-in-1986

about the specter of the discount chain of Waldenbooks and the need to strengthen our service and ties to the community. Then the first direct blow to business came in 1993 when Barnes and Noble opened a big box store in Bellevue. We had always prided ourselves on our children's section, and overnight there was a store twice our size 10 minutes away. Then Costco became more popular and, as a sign of things to come, they used books as a loss leader and broad-based customer attractor. Finally, Microsoft and personal computers made their mark on homes in the early 90s. The bookstore as a storehouse of knowledge for adults and kids faded fast when they could look it up "on their computer."

Honestly, my reaction to these existential changes was largely terror. I was starting a young family, the store was our sole means of support, and it seemed like a new battle to fight every year. We reacted by working hard to speed up our special-order business ("We don't have that title but can get it for you Wednesday!") and to emphasize our free shipping and the expertise of the booksellers. The community appreciated our efforts, and despite plenty of dips and valleys, we continued to grow slowly despite the competition. In the late 90s, Amazon arrived and presented a different magnitude of the challenge. For the first time between the growth of the web and Amazon's "free" home delivery, many customers never saw the need to visit our store.

If we never saw them, our knowledge and service would be useless. So, we turned our focus toward marketing and events doing all we could to draw them in. This led to huge Harry Potter parties and hundreds of tiny evening gatherings of self-published Island authors. We also began to emphasize our school fundraisers to connect and show our commitment to the community.

Throughout these roughly twenty-five years of change and increased competition, almost three-quarters of the independent bookstores in the country closed. The Mom-and-Pop store model was defunct. We learned about lean inventories, just-in-time ordering, niche marketing, shopping as entertainment, and the value of "third places" in the community. Our deep ties to the community ultimately helped us weather the storm.

One moment stands out. At some point in 2005, Amazon tried out a new idea on Mercer Island to use school communities to raise funds for the school. We had been doing this for a decade and had raised several hundreds of thousands for local schools. One day a big "Buy from Amazon " banner appeared outside a local school. We felt like jilted lovers: angry, scared, and sad. This was very close to home, and we knew if Amazon lured away families, we would not survive. I said as much to some long-standing customers, and their response exceeded all expectations. The school's foundation sided with the store, and the banner disappeared. The unspoken loyalty of the community was voiced out loud, and it was a turning point for the store.

It became clear that our fate was tied to the choices they made. From that point on, it felt that there was a deeper appreciation for the bookstore and, in turn, for our community. We were joined at the hip. Through the spring of 2009 with the Great Recession, the Kindle was the darkest hour for independent bookstores. We bounced back quickly and had some of our best years (2010-2015) at the end of our tenure as owners.

Miriam: That was right around when I came on the scene after I’d defected from the Amazon Books team and moved to the island from Capitol Hill. I remember we had lunch across the street from the store, and you gave me a lot of this oral history over Thai food. As I listened, I was thinking, how can I use all the knowledge I gained at Amazon to help Island Books thrive? And thrive it did and continues to endure. It’s like the little engine that could.

To our Island Books community: stay tuned for part 2 in this conversation, coming soon. Once Roger and I get going on the subject of Island Books, it’s hard to stop us...

—Miriam

#islandbooks #miriamlandis #rogerpage #nancypage #indiebookstore #bookstore #Miriam landis #50 years of island books

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aroundtheworldin214days · 1 year

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February 7, 2023 - Day 42

COQUIMBO. CHILE - This place is just like Arizona without any golf courses or retirement villages. No water, lots of Cactus and plenty of desert. They do get some runoff from the Andes and lots of water wells. The soil is very fertile because they raise lots of grapes, olives and black pepper. The Italians have bought a lot of land here and raise acres and acres of olives to make olive oil. We visiting a vineyard which make very good wine. They also make a type of brandy called “Pisco” which is the national drink of Chile. I always thought it came from Peru because of the Pisco Sour but I was wrong.

We also visited an archaeological site that was occupied by the El Millo pre historic Indians from 10000 BC to 800 AD. They had carved holes in the rock that the archaeologists think represented the constellations. There is also a carving of a comet and several petroglyphs. I put some photos from the places we visited below.

The bird is a Crested Caracara which is in the Falcon family. It is the second largest falcon and is a common site in the desert areas of both North and South America. The palm is a Canary Island date palm. The cactus is a Eulychnia or arborescent cactus which survives in the hottest and driest places on earth. It is one of the few plants that can survive in the Atacama Desert, the driest place on Earth.

The desert has a certain draw to it and there were some very upscale beach gated communities just south of town. They are new, expensive and very modern where a lot of American sports figures get away from the paparazzi.

#coquimbo #around the world #travel #cactus #palm

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johnmarksamuel004 · 4 months

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The Cost of Living in the Canary Islands – Including Taxes and Visa Routes for Expats

The archipelago of islands that make up the Canaries has long attracted expats from around the world, looking for beautiful beaches, a relaxed pace of life and friendly communities suited to family living.

While the Canaries are an autonomous region of Spain, geographically, the islands are closer to Africa – resulting in a warm climate year-round.

Whether you plan to retire to Gran Canaria, take advantage of the low house prices in Lanzarote or settle down in the rustic, peaceful settings of the smaller islands, such as El Hierro and La Gomera, creating a careful budget to ensure you have full control over your relocation and living costs, is key.

Chase Buchanan’s Canary Islands team, based in Tenerife, have put this article together to explore some of the primary living costs you should consider, as well as an overview of the tax environment and potential outgoings linked with visas for foreign nationals.

Canary Islands Average Living Costs

One of the first aspects to bear in mind is that the Canary Islands include eight habitable islands. There are, therefore, variances in the living costs between the larger, more populated islands such as Fuerteventura and Tenerife and smaller islands like La Graciosa.

Irrespective of where you choose to live, the region is significantly more affordable than the UK, the US and much of Northern Europe, with only slightly higher prices around the tourist areas. Compared to London, even the biggest cities offer low living costs. As a quick comparison:

Las Palmas, in Gran Canaria, is 40.1% less expensive than the British capital, with property rentals costing 71% less.

Santa Cruz, in Tenerife, is equally affordable, with general living costs 47.5% lower and rental prices 72.6% lower.

A family of four relocating to Tenerife would need an average budget of €2,148 (£1,875) per month to live comfortably, excluding accommodation, rising slightly to €2,382 (£2,078) in Gran Canaria. A single person would need a rough monthly budget of between €598 (£522) and €661 (£577), respectively.

If you choose to purchase a home or retire to one of the smaller islands within the archipelago, you may find that properties are less widely available. However, the lower demand for holiday rentals makes the property market considerably more accessible from a cost perspective.

Budgeting for Life as an Expat in the Canary Islands

Public transport is widely available, ranging from buses and taxis to ferries and island-hopping flights. Most expats choose to purchase a car, although you can also hire a vehicle or even ship your existing car. Shipping companies charge roughly £1,000 to £1,800, and you can drive for six months before replacing your foreign registration plates.

Expats should note that cars less than six months old will attract much higher customs levies than older vehicles, and you will need to pay import duty of up to 13% of the vehicle’s value.

Families with children should also budget for education costs, depending on whether they anticipate enrolling their children in a local, private or international school. Education is compulsory up to age 16 in Spain, with free tuition at state schools for residents.

International schools often provide bilingual classes and follow the UK National Curriculum or International Baccalaureate. Many provide tuition towards the bachillerato – the qualification children need to apply to a Spanish university.

While costs will differ between independent Spanish private schools, international schools and higher education facilities, the average price of a private school placement is around €7,200 (£6,260) per year.

The British School of Gran Canaria charges €6,038 (£5,249) a year for primary school students and €7,800 (£6,780) a year for sixth-form pupils. Fees at the British School of Tenerife range from €5,375 (£4,672) a year for nursery places to €6,085 (£5,290) for sixth-form tuition.

Planning for Tax Obligations Overseas

Just as it is important to budget for living costs, from grocery shopping to school fees, transport and accommodation, expats should consider their tax profile and how their liabilities may change following an international move.

Because the Canary Islands are an autonomous region, the tax rates payable on income, business profits and pensions may differ from other areas in Spain. In 2023, the main tax rates you may need to be aware of include:

Income tax bands range from 18.5% on incomes of up to €12,450 (£10,800), extending to an upper tax bracket of 50.5% on earnings of €300,000 (£261,000) and above.

Flat-rate non-resident tax rates – normally based on 24%. Expats relocating to Spain from other EU countries pay a reduced 19% tax.

Reduced business tax rates, with a 4% corporation tax levied in the Canary Islands ‘Special Zone’ (ZEC), which is favorable when compared to the 25% business tax rate in mainland Spain.

Part of the reason goods and services in the Canary Islands are more affordable is that the General Indirect Tax (IGIC) is also lower, with a current sales tax rate of 7%.

Should you need advice around your tax liabilities related to investments, assets, property and other wealth, we advise contacting the Chase Buchanan team for a more detailed overview of your finances and how your tax residency position may impact your reporting obligations.

Our earlier article: Spanish vs Canary Islands Tax Policies is also a useful resource and explains some of the other variances you should be aware of.

Canary Islands Visa Options for British Nationals

Finally, as an expat planning to relocate, we’d always suggest you review the types of visas, residence permits, and work permits you may be eligible for. Visas often affect the tax bands you will fall into, particularly if you are unsure whether to apply for long-term residency or remain a non-resident for tax purposes.

Any non-EU national living or working in the Canary Islands for 90 days or more must have a valid permit. There are temporary residency options which allow you to remain there for up to five years, whereas a long-term or permanent residency visa means you qualify for the same tax treatments and the right to work as a Spanish resident.

The non-lucrative visa is a popular option, which allows UK citizens to live in Spain, provided they can show they have the financial resources to support themselves and any family members relocating with them.

Expats must invest in the Spanish economy, with many opting to purchase a home worth €500,000 (£435,000) or above. If you apply for this visa, you should ensure your budget incorporates the cost of buying property and other expenses linked with the buying process, such as estate agency fees and ongoing property taxes payable annually.

For more information about the cost of living in the Canary Islands, applying for a long-term visa, or planning your relocation budget, please get in touch with the Chase Buchanan Wealth Management team at your convenience.

Resource URL: - https://expatfinancialadvisor.blogspot.com/2024/01/the-cost-of-living-in-canary-islands.html

#financial planning #taxes #expatlife #expat #expat living #cost #visaservices

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muveone · 5 months

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Where is the cheapest city to live in Spain?

Spain is a beautiful country with a rich culture, a pleasant climate, and a diverse landscape. Many people dream of living in Spain, whether for work, study, retirement, or adventure. However, the cost of living in Spain can vary greatly depending on the location, the lifestyle, and the personal preferences of each individual. Some cities in Spain are more expensive than others, and some offer more value for money than others. In this article, we will explore some of the cheapest cities to live in Spain, based on various factors such as housing, transportation, taxes, leisure, and shopping. We will also provide you with some tips and resources to help you plan your move to Spain.

The cheapest cities to live in Spain

According to a study by the price comparison website Kelisto.es, which analysed prices in the categories of housing, public and private transport, taxes, leisure and shopping, the cheapest city to live in Spain in 2023 is Palencia, in the region of Castilla y León. Palencia has a low cost of living, with an average monthly expenditure of 1,087 euros, which is 36.4% lower than the national average of 1,708 euros. Palencia also offers a good quality of life, with a low population density, a high percentage of green areas, and a rich cultural and historical heritage.

Other cheap cities to live in Spain are:

Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, in the Canary Islands, with an average monthly expenditure of 1,099 euros, which is 35.7% lower than the national average. Las Palmas de Gran Canaria is a sunny and lively city with a mild climate, a long beach, and vibrant nightlife.

Malaga, in the region of Andalusia, with an average monthly expenditure of 1,125 euros, which is 34.1% lower than the national average. Malaga is a coastal city, with warm and sunny weather, a rich cultural and artistic scene, and delicious cuisine.

Sevilla, also in the region of Andalusia, with an average monthly expenditure of 1,128 euros, which is 33.9% lower than the national average. Sevilla is one of the most beautiful and historic cities in Spain, with stunning architecture, a lively atmosphere, and a strong cultural identity.

Granada, another city in the region of Andalusia, with an average monthly expenditure of 1,130 euros, which is 33.8% lower than the national average. Granada is a picturesque city, with a rich history, a majestic palace, and lively nightlife.

Factors to consider when choosing a city to live in Spain

While the cost of living is an important factor to consider when choosing a city to live in Spain, it is not the only one. There are other factors that can affect the quality of life and the personal satisfaction of each individual, such as:

The climate: Spain has a diverse climate, ranging from the Mediterranean to the continental, from the oceanic to the subtropical. Depending on your preferences and needs, you may prefer a city with a warmer or cooler, wetter or drier, or more or less sunny climate.

The culture: Spain has a rich and varied culture, influenced by different historical and geographical factors. Depending on your interests and tastes, you may prefer a city with a more traditional or modern, more cosmopolitan or local, more artistic or gastronomic culture.

The opportunities: Spain has different levels of economic and social development, depending on the region and the city. Depending on your goals and aspirations, you may prefer a city with more or less job opportunities, more or less educational options, more or less public services, or more or less social activities.

Tips and resources for moving to Spain

Moving to Spain is a big decision that requires careful planning and preparation. Here are some tips and resources to help you make your move easier and more successful:

Do your research and learn as much as you can about Spain, its regions, cities, climate, cost of living, culture, and society. You can use online platforms, such as Expatica, Spain Guides, and Spain Buddy, to find useful information and advice on various aspects of living in Spain.

Learn some Spanish and familiarise yourself with the culture and society. Learning Spanish will help you communicate, integrate, and participate in Spanish society, and also increase your chances of finding a job or studying at a Spanish institution. Familiarizing yourself with the culture and society will help you understand and appreciate the Spanish values, norms, and customs, and also avoid potential misunderstandings or conflicts. You can use online courses, apps, books, podcasts, and videos to learn Spanish, and also join local groups, clubs, and events to meet new people and practice your skills.

Find a suitable place to live and work or study in Spain. Depending on your budget, preferences, and needs, you can choose from different types of accommodation, such as apartments, houses, rooms, or hostels, and different locations, such as urban, rural, coastal, or mountainous areas. You can use online platforms to search for and compare properties, and also contact local real estate agents, landlords, or owners to arrange visits and negotiations. You can also use online platforms to search for and apply for jobs, and also contact local employers, recruiters, or agencies to explore opportunities and requirements. If you want to study in Spain, you can use online platforms to search for and compare courses, programs, and institutions, and also contact the admission offices, professors, or students to get more information and guidance.

Hire a professional and reliable removal company to transport your belongings to Spain. Moving to Spain can be stressful and complicated, especially if you have a lot of items to pack, ship, and unpack. Hiring a professional and reliable removal company can make your move easier and safer, as we take care of everything for you, with professionalism, efficiency, and care. You can trust MuveOne, the best choice for your removals to Spain, as we have more than 15 years of experience in international European removals. We offer a range of services, such as packing, loading, transporting, unloading, and unpacking, and also provide insurance, storage, and customs clearance. You can get a free quote and consultation from us, and find the best solution for your removals to Spain.

#muveone #removalscompany #removalservice #removals #removals company #muveone removals to Spain #MuveOne Spain removals

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pursuingheavenonearth · 7 months

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Is it time for a 'radical' change? Maybe not.

David Lewis Brooks

My bare feet, photo taken June 2023 on the steps of Hostal Casa de Huespedes San Fernando, Playa del Ingles, Gran Canaria (Canary Islands), Spain

PREFACE: This article was written over several weeks from August 18 until September 20, 2023, after I returned from my second overseas trip that summer.

When one comes to end of his/her professional career, it is not always easy to decide what to do or where or how to find an avocation or a new vocation to keep oneself occupied productively in the last Third of One's (Current) Lifespan. Over the approximately three and a half years since I officially retired from work (university teaching and research job), I have dabbled a bit in several possible Third Life career moves, but none of them has panned out into any satisfying work or job offers.

Basically, I am staying at home and being the wise, but quiet, granddad to the Brooks-Yamaguchi family. Our older son, also an Associate Professor,but at Asia University (not too far from our home) lives with his Japanese wife and two daughters, aged 7 and 5 years old). His wife, Yuki, works as a student affairs officer (foreign student admissions) at KUFS (Kanda University of Foreign Studies), located a short bicycle ride from our homes. I say 'homes' since we live just a block away from our son's and his family's residence.

I had first joined the teaching staff at Kitasato’s Sagamihara campus in April, 1996, as an emergency teacher recruited by Prof. Yukio Seya in March of that year to fill a sudden part-time English teacher vacancy.

Photo taken August 2023 at the circular roundabout road, about 400 meters from the East Side entrance to Tama Bochi Cemetery, Fuchu, Tokyo. These are crepe myrtle trees in full bloom from July to October annually. It's a bit rare to have two large crepe myrtle growing side-by-side in the cemetery, so they are a favorite sight on our daily dog walks into the Tama Bochi (cemetery).

I was subsequently employed as a full-time teacher member of the English Language Unit a month into the school following year, and has continued in the position of Associate Professor until my mandatory retirement in March 2019. Why a month later start? Actually, I was a part-time teacher with 6 weekly classes, which was the same as a full-time teacher's workload. By then asking that I be made a full-timer (once I was already employed), then they didn't have to open the 'new' position up to public applications from both presently employed part-timers as well as outsider. It was a strategic political employment move. I continue for three years as a contract (full-time) employee, before being made full-fledged faculty member (Assistant Professor), and eventually attained Associate Professorship in approximately 10 years further. I never considered even asking to be a Full Professor because I considered that my Japanese language skills were not sufficient to complete all of the duties required a full professor. However, I will never actually know if I was considered qualified to seek that promotion or not, because my own Department Head retired and I had several other colleagues that I would have had to compete with to become Professor Brooks. More money, but more work and many ore headaches (if you ask me). Therefore, I happily remained an Associate Professor until I retired in March 2019. Retirement became mandatory at the age of 65 year-of-age for all, but esteemed Professor Emeritus, of which there were one appointed every couple of years.

After my official retirement, I was asked to teach one further year as an Adjunct Professor under a part-time teacher's salary for five courses on three days a week (Mondays - one class, Tuesday - 2 classes and Thursday - 2 classes). This arrangement, by the way, was how I started teaching part-time at Kitasato University first in the 1996-97 academic year.

Photo taken at sunset in August 2022 Diamond Head Beach, Honolulu, Hawaii

After his retirement, David L. Brooks had intended to remain as an adjunct professor at Kitasato University for one or two days a week, he'd likely be teaching part-time as well at Aoyama Gakuin University for two graduate or undergraduate courses, and may also be working on a volunteer basis in the part-time position at the University’s Office of International Affairs from April, 2019, until the 2024. In addition, Mr. Brooks would be managing director of a new travel company based in Hawaii that specializes in edutrekking, travel expeditions for small teams that combine travel with eco-tourism and humanitarian endeavors for potential customers in Japan, the USA, and Europe.

The LAST PLANS in the above paragraph DID NOT actually MATERIALIZE, and when COVID-19 hit the world, my Third Life Career is was then put on hold and is, therefore, being reconsidered. That is purpose of this entry: To review those three years of dormancy (rather like hibernation) would probably be a helpful move at this juncture of my existence. I can either decide what I want/need to do next, or will come to some other kind of resolution.

------------------------------------------------------------

Part I

January 2020 - June 2021

Photo taken February 2022 at the Diamond Head Road leading into Kapiolani Park, Honolulu, Hawaii

A) From January 2020 until June 2021, I was involved in the Harvard Kennedy School of Government's Public Leadership Credential, where I completed six different six-week long graduate courses in an online coursework format that included weekly group work (for one of weeks of each course I was the group leader and completing a personally focused individualized weekly assignment, plus completing a challenging final written exam. Along the way, I had three very distinguished, challenging, and interesting professors and got to work in detail with dozens of highly qualified and tenacious graduate students, who were also pursuing the same Harvard graduate credential.

Seated at the Jackie O's restaurant / bar at Super Paradise Beach on the Greek island of Mykonos. It was a warm afternoon in June, 2023, and I was one of just a few customers at 4:00pm that day.

To be honest, taking the coursework (actually 2/5ths of a Master's Degree in Public Administration from Harvard's Kennedy School of Government) was the fulfillment of a personal challenge that I had envisioned pursuing more than a decade ago. At that time, after designating Harvard KSG as my first choice for a graduate institution at the time of taking the GRE, I received a letter of invitation from Harvard Kennedy School asking me to complete the necessary steps to apply for admission. Probably the main reason was because I had scored a perfect 6 on the then newly instigated GRE Writing Test, which had only just begun the very year that I had re-taken the GRE. There is no doubt that I found the six courses in the Public Leadership Credential at Harvard KSG to be academically challenging, but they were not impossible and I found the course content, the professors, and working with my fellow course-mates to be highly interesting, personally rewarding and a great learning experience (almost without exception). However, I believe that I came to realize that simply cooperating and competing with my other Harvard online classmates was not the activity that really excited my intellectual interests or challenged my internal soul-searching to find a meaningful post-retirement career.

A bee in the weeds: Photo taken May 2022 at the Tama River side park, not far from Tokyo Parkway Bridge at Inagi, Fuchu, Tokyo

Most of my own personally-meaningful assignments for those six courses were related to my current passion at the time: Finding or creating an organization (or group) that can assist impoverished families in Hawaii, particularly those living under stark economic realities of today's world (who can absolutely be categorized a 'poor' families and individuals who are economically disadvantaged, to find affordable housing (either by buying, renting, or sharing a portion of a group-owned lodging).

Eating at a nice (and expensive) restaurant near the Beach Boardwalk at Sitges, Spain in June, 2023

Actually, that leads me to my July 2021 - January 2023 phase, which involved trying to set up both a non-profit, called Philantropical.org, and a for-profit travel-related business, called Rainbow Travel Network, Inc., both of which I have now closed.

Let me explain more in the next section.

Part II

July 2021 - January 2023

B) My Entrepreneurial Phase -- Starting Two Business that I closed even before they could actually start.

Part II-A From January 2021 through January 2023, I was busy trying to set up both a non-profit, called Philantropical.org, and also a for-profit travel-related business, called Rainbow Travel Network, Inc., both of which I subsequently have now closed.

Photo taken June 2023 at the Old Windmills Strand located near the main port / harbor of Choros Town on Mykonos Island, Greece

Setting up Philantropical.org (a non-profit organization) was not too difficult. In fact, inside the State of Hawaii, it was painless and virtually easy-peasy-Japanesy (as we often say in the Brooks household). Even when I decided to make the non-profit be recognized nationwide (in the US), it was not very difficult to secure the paperwork and to get registered and verified as a US nationwide non-profit organization by the United States Internal Revenue Service (IRS). The difficulty arose when it came to the actual details of the non-profit tax designation and assigned levels of tax compliance as a non-profit organization. While it was still recognized as a non-profit, for tax purposes, it was designated as a XXXXXX non-taxed organization and the paperwork and tax forms required were just too laborious and time-consuming to be acceptable (at least for me alone).

I quickly realized that I could not sustain that level of complicated book-keeping and convoluted tax reporting that such a designation required. I subsequently decided to dissolve the non-profit organization, thus appearing to 'officially' abandon its mission: helping disadvantaged and underprivileged families to cope with the regulations and restrictions needed in order to live in a house on the Big Island of Hawaii.

To be continued.....

Part II-B Rainbow Travel Network, Inc.

Photo taken March 2012 at the Marine Park located near Arinaga Marine Preserve on the island of Gran Canaria, The Canary Islands, Spain (taken by my own underwater photography with my own camera).

The second part of my plan was to establish a travel services company that acted as an 'arranger' for travel services to be provided to small (3-7) or medium-sized (8-24) people. The 'trips' are not actually solely for the purpose of travel, but have the ultimate goal of providing 'free' assistance to people, organizations (such as non-profits and public corporations), to help animal and plant life in a specific region, and (or) to improve the environmental conditions in a specific locale in order to reach their fullest (and highest) potentials. The eco-trips or 'edutreking' sojourns would be in my current home country (Japan) or abroad; they could be free (if a sponsor will pay expenses) or their costs could be reduced by donations and payments from the beneficiary groups, or they could be totally self-supported (paid for my the volunteers own monetary contributions).

Examples of such 'trips' could include any or a combination of the following eco-trips or 'edutreking' experiences:a) Volunteer to teach life-skill English conversation to home healthcare workers who are assisting disaster relief for an Australian state; b)Lead a workshop on polish one's job search and employer attractiveness skills for low-level, poorly educated individuals seeking jobs as migrant workers in a South American country;

c) Conduct an environmental clean-up workday in specific area needing human labor of volunteers (in Florida after the last major hurricane damage),

and

d - z) there are countless more examples, etc... But hopefully, you get the idea: human volunteers helping our planet and its environment, its peoples and the animal & plant livelihoods.

Photo taken February 2022 at the Beach 67 not far from Spencer Beach, near Kawaihae, Big Island, Hawaii

Part III February 2023 - September 2023 C) My own travels overseas

Photos were taken August 2023 at the Hellabrunn Zoo outside Munich, Germany. Of course, there are hundreds of species of birds, fish, reptiles, and other animals at the zoo, but the birds and fish are easiest to photograph because you're allowed to be so close to them in an enclosed cage (bird cage in huge) or space (the aquarium).

From January 2023 until the present (Sept 2023), I was mostly at my home in Tokyo, helping with the chores of grand-child minding, cooking and cleaning house. I did find the time and resources (money) to travel abroad twice during that time. Both times, I visited Europe; actually, I visited Spain and Germany twice as my favorite European cities are Munich and Barcelona.

Many years ago, I practiced the art (martial) of Aikido. Once we held a public exhibition of our 'sensei's' students at a public hall in Gotanda, Tokyo. Here I am finishing a defensive move on my co-combattant.

So it is time for a radical change in my lifestyle or vocation (or avocation)? Well, after considering what's happening now in my world and in our societies, I'd have to say that things in my life will likely just remain as they are, without any huge changes. I'm enjoying what I'm doing now: being a partner to my wife, and a father and grandfather to my sons and spouses and offspring. Attempting to conflate my raison d'etre into some grand scheme of a new life is probably only my own wishful thinking as my mortality lies more concretely ahead of me. I'll most likely be happy to simply live my life as it is being played out now. I'm loved by family, and enjoy the hobbies and pastimes that 'apparently' keep me busy and productive as I enter my seventh decade of life. I can only hope that I will have at least two more decades to enjoy my life on Earth and hope to gain the satisfaction of having spent my remaining time alive in the best ways possible.

Thank for reading.

Playing with the Djohong Village children around New Year's Eve, 2000 in Cameroon, West Africa, while participating the one of EarthWatch.org research expeditions to assist Phyllis Jansyn, a former Peace Corps volunteer, who had stayed in rural Cameroon to help the villagers of Djohong find clean water, safeguard against disease, give birth, and learn healthy childcare to the women (and men) of the surrounding villages.

#self improvement #self actualization #maturity

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roberthamiltonowens · 8 months

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Hi Everyone.

As many of you know, Iam training for an Atlantic Row on December 4th.

Iam on a team of 12 where 6 row at a time, 3 Port side and 3 Starboard side.

6 row 3 hours and the next 6 rows for 3 hours.

We do this non stop for 40+ days from the Canary Islands to Antiqua in the Caribbean. 3500 hundred miles.

Iam doing this in honor of a good friend retired 28 year Navy SEAL Mark Crampton who committed suicide unexpectedly 4 months ago.

Iam working with and raising funds for the Courage Foundation for Veterans Suicide Prevention programs.

Please make a donation at:

Robrows4vets.org

( Rob rows for Vets . org )

Thank you in advance.

My website:

Roberthamiltonowens.com

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whumpacabra · 10 days

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This is so funny for whump chars

🛖 What do they think the problem is in their life?

🪭 What does their ideal life look like in 2, 5, or 10 years?

Ooo I think I’ll do this for Casey since he’s the one that never Settled Down so to speak -

His problem in life? Well, it’s him, obviously, but specifically he thinks it’s his impulsiveness. He’s convinced that’s the root of any suffering he receives (or causes). He doesn’t take time to think things through or thoroughly understand the consequences of his actions, and that has led to a lot of subpar results both in his personal relationships and professional life.

Casey’s ideal life? In jest he would say the Canary Islands, a private beach, and a rotating cast of international lovers. But I think in his own inner world, what he really wants, is what he had for a short while when the Freelancer Crew was freshly retired. A home full of people he loves, and that love him in turn. Somewhere safe that’s his own, that he can always come back to. He would love to spend the rest of his days cooking and baking and cleaning for his chosen family, but…

(What if he fucks it up with a stupid, impulsive decision? He can’t risk that - so it can’t be sustainable - so he leaves. And because he leaves and no one forcefully stops him they must not actually care that much, right? And he - obviously - doesn’t care that much for them either since he’s leaving even though he knows it will hurt them, right? A private beach on an island he owns is far more realistic to him than a safe, quiet home where he’s not just tolerated but also appreciated and loved.)

[ask game]

#whump #ask game #answered asks #beans speaks #freelancers #I can even burn salad #akdjrbdjwogjsje it’s such a good ask game for whump characters. hey trauma fandom what’s therapy like for your blorbos? bad. but good too.

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crispyturtlepainter · 1 year

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WWE announces a match to determine Ronda Rousey's next opponent

WWE announces a match to determine Ronda Rousey's next opponent: Six fighters will compete to become the next challenger for the SmackDown Women's Championship Previous WWE Friday Night SmackDown November 11, 2022 Fox will broadcast this Friday, November 11, 2022, the 1212 episode of WWE Friday Night SmackDown, an event that will be broadcast live from the Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN.

Until now, the show's card featured two pre-announced matches, with The Usos defending the WWE Unified Tag Team Championships against The New Day, and the SmackDown World Cup first-round match between Shinsuke Nakamura and Santos Escobar. .However, a few minutes ago, WWE has added a new fight to the billboard of the blue brand show. Six women (Shotzi, Raquel Rodriguez, Xia Li, Sonya Deville, Lacey Evans and Liv Morgan) will meet in a Six Pack Challenge to determine the next challenger for the SmackDown Women's Championship, currently held by Ronda Rousey.

Billboard WWE Friday Night SmackDown November 11, 2022.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match The Usos (c) vs. The New Day SmackDown World Cup - First Round Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Santos Escobar Six Pack Challenge for a shot at the SmackDown Women's Championship Rachel Rodriguez vs. Shotzi vs. Sonya DeVille vs. Lacey Evans vs. XiaLi vs. Liv Morgan

WWE announces a match to determine Ronda Rousey's next opponent Schedules WWE Friday Night SmackDown November 11, 2022 19:00: Mexico City (Mexico), Guatemala City (Guatemala), Managua (Nicaragua), San José (Costa Rica), San Salvador (El Salvador), Tegucigalpa (Honduras) 20:00: New York (United States), Bogotá (Colombia), Lima (Peru), Panama, Quito (Ecuador) 9:00 p.m.: Caracas (Venezuela), La Paz (Bolivia), Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic 22:00: Buenos Aires (Argentina), Montevideo (Uruguay), Santiago (Chile), Asuncion (Paraguay) 01:00 (early on November 12): Canary Islands (Spain) 02:00 (early on November 12): Spain How to watch WWE SmackDown live United States: FOX LATAM: FOX Sports and STAR Plus Spain: official WWE Youtube on deferred Don't forget to visit Solowrestling, the website with all WWE news. Follow us on social networks, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter and Instagram.

Remember that the next WWE PPV is WWE Survivor Series and in Solowrestling you will be up to date with all the related news. For More Information Visit These Articles: - Batista offers himself for the cast of Gears of War - Taryn Terrell announces her retirement from professional wrestling - Another match announced for AEW Full Gear at the Rampage tapings - Previous Impact Wrestling November 10, 2022 - Dustin Rhodes: «The time I have left in AEW is short. I’m getting older” - Former WWE Superstar accuses CM Punk of being impossible to please - 25 years of the WWE Screwjob in Montreal - SPOILERS WWE NXT Level Up 11 November 2022 - SCRIPTS demonstrates in front of the WWE NXT public Read the full article

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mexcine · 1 year

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South American George (1941) review: South American George was George Formby’s first Columbia production and is a rather significant departure from much of his previous work. He’s still recognisable as the gormless, ukelele-strumming naïf, but there are some definite differences.

Notably, Formby plays a dual role—or, one might argue—actually two-and-a-half roles. Would-be performer George (George Formby) impersonates opera singer Gilli Vanetti (also Formby), who has broken his contract by leaving the UK (for Las Palmas in the Canary Islands). George does this to please Carole (Linden Travers), Gilli’s assistant, and (very peripherally) to obtain money for the retirement home where his aunt lives. Carole urgently wires Gilli to return to London, but in the meantime George is at the mercy of impresario Ricardo, who wants to break the unpopular singer’s contract. “Gilli” (George) is compelled to perform “any task” he’s ordered to take, including sweeping up the theatre and changing the letters on the marquee. Ricardo even sends two gangsters to incapacitate “Gilli,” then changes his mind when he sells Gilli’s contract to a “leg show” producer.

There is a very minor bit of back-story: George idolises his aunt, a former music-hall star, but his father insists George get a “real job.” George presumably has a burning desire to go on the stage himself, but his character is never actually portrayed as a serious striver after a performing career.

Formby thus plays George, Gilli, and George-impersonating-Gilli. This is not quite as strenuous as it might first appear: Gilli appears only briefly at the beginning and end of the film, and George’s impersonation of Gilli—although it takes up a significant percentage of the running time--only occasionally requires him to really fool anyone (he doesn’t even try to imitate Gilli’s voice—the script is contrived so George-as-Gilli is either suffering from laryngitis or is “saving his voice” for his performances), other than curling his hair and wearing a stick-on moustache.

The film’s title is extremely misleading. The film is not set in South America, and does not feature any “South American” characters (or even any notably Latin American-themed musical numbers). Opera singer Gilli Vanetti is clearly intended to be Italian, but presumably that would've been politically incorrect, even though the film is not overtly set in wartime (there are no men in uniform shown, no references to any restrictions on travel, etc.). As “enemy aliens,” Italians were subject to internment in WWII Britain, and so there's a VERY vague reference to Gilli being "popular in South America" (which doesn't actually specify his nationality). He has an indeterminate "foreign" accent.

The only actual war reference is one shot of a newspaper front page: 3 of the 4 articles are war-relevant (the 4th article is the fake one created for the film, about George Formby's character).

a) a headline reads "Airacobra Pilots Say it Beats the Spitfire"

b) partially-seen article on the left references "Tokio," "Washington," and "Cordell" [Hull]. Date of the newspaper is 31 Oct 1941, so this most likely is an article about talks between USA & Japan, pre-Pearl Harbor.

c) partially-seen article at the right references "evacuees" and "Soviet."

There are a few entertaining moments. In one scene, George hears a voice (his own, in voice-over)--

George: Who are you?

Voice: I’m Jiminy Cricket!

George: Never heard of you.

Voice: Well, you should go to the pictures more often. I’m your conscience.

[This reference to Walt Disney’s Pinocchio occurs several more times, but is not a major part of the film.]

George Formby had a reputation as a performer of “naughty” material—notably his double-entendre songs, but in other aspects of his films as well—and there are three mildly risqué bits in South American George.

First, as noted, above, George is compelled by the terms of Gilli’s contract to do “whatever the stage manager orders.” In one scene he’s on a scaffold, assigned to change the theatre marquee to read “Enrico Ricardo Presents A Season of Russian Ballet.” However, George discovers he’s missing a letter—so that the marquee reads “Enrico Ricard Resents A Season of Russian Ballet”—and drops a note to his assistant on the ground (George is pretending to have laryngitis so he won’t give himself away). The assistant reads the note and starts to lower the scaffolding, but George gestures “No,” and signals that he needs the letter “P.” The joke here is that the note apparently (it isn’t shown) reads “I need a P,” and the assistant thought George had to urinate!

Ricardo, trying to void Gilli’s contract on its “morality” clause, sends a blonde actress to his apartment, where Gilli will then be caught in a compromising situation. George-as-Gilli discovers the lingerie-clad woman—first shown in a fairly revealing shot—but with Carole’s help avoids being caught out.

Finally, George, in his Gilli disguise, is kissed by Gilli’s girlfriend Frances, and his stick-on moustache transfers to her upper lip. He removes it and tosses it aside. Then, as he’s leaving the room, he asks her to get up: “You’re sitting on me moustache. Huh! It’s a good job I still haven’t got it on!” (i.e., she’d be sitting on his face!)

South American George’s conclusion is protracted and awkward. The real Gilli returns to London, but “his” show has already begun. George has to impersonate him on stage, lip-syncing to recordings. Ricardo’s two gangsters show up, there’s a lot of farcical to-and-froing, George’s aunt and her retired performer pals do one number, and finally all is resolved, after a fashion. George and Carole profess their mutual affection, and George’s father (in the audience) grudgingly admits his son has talent.

South American George largely wastes the comic potential in two George Formbys, and there aren’t many memorable sequences in the running time (George’s first musical number, “The Barmaid at the Rose & Crown,” is actually rather good, especially since the real barmaid is extremely irritated by his singing and the rude lyrics).

#George Formby #British comedy #British cinema

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